#literally would show my irls and i would be incomprehensible

[timeregistry]

okay I want to say right off the bat I ADORE your art everything looks so cute?! The keychain idea and also ur designs in general (lowkey love the eyefestation..) but I have to just go to the animatic immediately you have NO IDEA how much this altered my brain chemistry

under cut because I lowkey. it's long and I um, there's still some sanity left in here I think

LIKE I LITERALLY SAW THIS YESTERDAY WHICH IM SORRY I DIDNT REPLY EARLIER BUT I JUST. I PHYSICALLY COULDNT. YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE ACTUAL EMOTIONS I GOT WHEN I SAW THAT I'M LITERALLY GOING CRAZY JUST WRITING THIS RIGHT NOW. I ONCE SAW A VIDEO THAT WAS LIKE IF YOU HEAR THAT SONG YOU KNOW ITS GONNA BE PEAK AND. GOD THEY WERE RIGHT. i had to take so many deep breathes writing this down you have no idea how much this changed my brain chemistry and how much this means to me THE DETAIL IN THIS ANIMATIC?????? I LOVE THE LIKE "YOUNGER" VERSION OF YOUR OC WHEN MEETING SEBASTIAN. YOU LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA BECAUSE THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I ENVISIONED THEIR MEETING TO HAPPEN. ITS LITERALLY PERFECT??? AND LIKE DONT GET ME STARTED ON EVEN PUTTING THEIR MEETING IN THE FIRST PLACE OOHHHH IM SO SICK. AND THE BRACELETS ANLKDWAKJDWA<M>DKJLWAKJDWA<M>DWAJK THE DETAIL THE DETAILS OH MY GODDDDLAWKUDIWAJDAWJ IM SO SICK IM SO SICK THE PHOTO ACTUALLY MADE ME LIKE FALL TO MY KNEES I LOVE HOW YOU KEEP IN MIND THE WHOLE PICTURE THING EVEN THO ITS LIKE LITERALLY A THING IN MY FIC ITS LIKE SO COOL TO SEE IT USED AS A LITTLE LIKE FRAME THERE IDK BECAUSE IT IS IMPORTANT AND JUST GODDDDD THE PICTURE HAVING LIKE THE WHOLE GROUP, THE GANGS ALL HERE KINDA THING OH MY GOD AWLKUAWK<>DWAKJKAWJL: I KEEP NEEDING TO TAKE DEEP BREATHES CAUSE I KEEP REWATCHING THIS ITS SOOO GOOD IM SO SORRY IF I SOUND DERANGED BTW I JUST. GOD. THE DETAIL. ITS SO AWESOME........ I LOVE HOW THE SECOND HALF OF THE ANIMATIC IS LIKE DURING THE LOCKDOWN OHHH IM SICK IM SICK IM SICK THIS IS SOOOO GOOD IM SOOOOO WALADWK>DWALJKKDJWLAJDKWAKJLWAJAWJJAWJADWJAWKJDWAJ

Art dump!!! The video is based off the timeline for a human’s touch @timeregistry I also made a small keychain art thing for the Mc in that fix lol

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems

[loud-whistling-yes]

irl friend asked me what was a ship i would want to see happen even if only for funny points, so i present to you: the many hilarious possibilities of joker rarepairs

yes, i am gonna defend myself under the cut

joker x hayami: never have i ever seen "finally a WORTHY OPPONENT" rival energy stronger than whatever the fuck these two have okay. im absolutely fucking distraught that hayami shows up for only one episode in the anime. they both get outsmarted by the other and its the sexiest thing in their lives. they probably spend 2 hours going back and forth with absolutely incomprehensible banter that requires 5 phds worth of context to barely grasp and then they turn away while internally thinking "i NEED this man carnally". they would play 4d chess with their relationship. they are everything.

joker x hyakkimaru: as my friend puts it, "hyakkimaru gets hachi on the weekends," which made me laugh so hard i almost spilled my chemistry practical. on one hand, imagine a dangerous outsider whisks away the little kid youve been protecting all your childhood and finding out he's now happier and braver than you ever saw him your whole life. i would start crying there and then not gonna lie. but on the other hand, imagine being hachi and the two people you look up to the most in your life are being So Fucking Weird about each other. the comedy potential. they met in literally only two occasions in the anime and act like divorced parents. sometimes family can be you, your actual parents and 9 siblings, and your two other older brother figures who are very not-so-subtly fighting over you but also in the weirdest most divorced way possible.

joker x haruka: okay i could go on with haha cop and criminal dynamics but thats not my goal. please. please please please. just imagine oniyama's face if this happened. i rest my case.

[nugulover69]

Hello! Hope you’re having a great day ✌️

Came to say thank you for your tokupostings, always fun and incredible, definitely storing a lot of stuff in my memory vocabulary salad and some pictures to my phone.

Have nothing substantial to ask but really having “there should more kusakapostings day”. Saw the screens from that Movie I’ll probably not watch and “Kusaka” saying he and Takumi were friends which is a theme sometimes. For some reason. The intricacies of a relationship that are so beautiful and fucking stupid. Tbh I’m always wondering if Takumi hated him as much as fandom says he did, I blacked out whole Faizwatching. Frankly tho, don’t care that much and thinking about this from your reblog instead:

That one promotional series where moe hag Takumi is obsessed with new fish Mari found and Kusaka who just pours water on him… the worst domesticity known to man, incredible actually? And no one will talk about it. Haven’t watched second part so the thought of Kusaka killing new fish Takumi actually likes and then gaslighting him, idk, something something domestic toxic yaoi something something need more funny takusaka jokes in my life

Also I find the fact the person behind Kusaka Evil Rap original song is trans so amazing, the full circle of life

Thank uuuu I like knowing my posting can change someone’s speech irreparably lol

Everyone should be thankful that I’m more of a sentai guy than a rider guy and that Faiz is a bad shitty ass show instead of a good show. If either of these scenarios were the opposite, you’d all unfollow me for yapping abt my ugly-hot cancelled wife too much

I’ll admit my memory of Faiz isn’t the best either bc I binged it in a week while on spring break. My college-fried brain wasn’t in the best condition to try and absorb the utter nonsense that unfolded before my eyes. That and I watched it with the shitty TVN subs bc the better updated subs didn’t exist at that time. Even when I rewatched a bunch of episodes for “finding good clips to make gifs out of for Kusaka Day purposes” (with the better subs too), I still could not tell you the plot. incomprehensible show but it is funny bad for the most part

It’ll never not be weird to me that every subsequent piece of Faiz and Faiz-related media keeps INSISTING that Takumi and Kusaka are besties actually bc ???? no they weren’t? Like okay they warmed up to each other a lil bit by the end of Faiz, Takumi was sad when he found Kusaka’s soot remains after all, but I’d sooner define them as “begrudging allies against the same threat” than “friends”. All of this is def bc Kento Handa and Kohei Murakami are shoot besties irl, sang a gay ass duet of Justiφ's and everything. they willed their incorrect yaoi into existence, fudanshi gods I think

Maaaaaybe I could buy that Takumi thinks of Kusaka as a friend after a lot of time has passed, having matured out of his edgy emo teenager phase. EXCEPT Paradise Regained went “Takumi is still a whiny brooding lil baby even at 40” so fuck my drag ig (these two literally share like 2 minutes of screen time together in PR btw)

Also in PR the fact that KUSAKA is the one saying “oh we were such good friends weh” is even more egregious. This man, had he lived just a lil longer in the og show, was this 🤏 close to inventing a new slur for Takumi. He would NEVER call that bitchass wolf his friend

I didn’t watch the Murder Case two episode bonanza bc Paradise Regained winded me. I just saw someone else post caps of Takumi cooing at a plastic fish and thought “man they just let Inoue do whatever the fuck, he’s truly living the writers dream”

Honestly though I’m up for fully ignoring established canon bc the concept of bitter old married couple Takumi and Kusaka is in fact very funny to me. When Takumi jokes abt the old ball and chain, Kusaka comes up from behind and nails him in the cock with an actual ball and chain. Faiz has always been comedy actually Inoue has been playing 5D chess with us for two decades now

It is so funny how that rap perfectly suited Kusaka, like it wasn’t made for him but it just feels like it was. paper-mario-wiki truly the best to ever do it on this webbed site

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

Ok im getting off before I lose my shit entirely but one more thing.

A central theme of Supernatural is that a life lived in inactivity isn't just boring, its meaningless, morally wrong, and LITERALLY EQUIVALENT TO DEATH. I saw a post last week saying something like "In Supernatural, Life Is Defined By Making Changes In The World". Complacency, apathy, willful ignorance of the evils in the world- those are shown as AWFUL FATES to befall the characters.

The villains are forces of endless hunger and consumption, war, destruction, and apocalypse. They possess and manipulate rich men and world leaders. The heroes of Supernatural take them down, and protect people.

Saving People.

Hunting Things.

clearly this fandom is nothing like its characters. I don't care how much meta you write or how hard you "Kin UWU", fuck your "shared trauma", if you broke the General Strike for

FUCKING SUPERNATURAL!?!?

you are nothing like Dean. you are nothing like Sam. you are nothing like Cas or Jack or any of them and you would never be a hunter

because you clearly don't give enough of a shit to do the BARE MINIMUM to speak out for human life in the absolute direst of circumstances

fuck you

fuck all of you.

and before you say "ooooh no no no I'M not evil, I just reblogged a few teeny weeny tiny postie wosties. after all we still have to be happy SOMEtimes uwu. what harm is a few tiny teeny postie wosties"

This Is You.

2. literally you could have queued the posts. scheduled them. WAITED ON THEM. the bar is so incomprehensibly low holy SHIT

3. You are trending at #3 currently. The impact of this fandom's harm to Tumblr Strike activities on this day, January 24th 2024, is second only to the fUCKING *PERCY JACKSON FANDOM*. "The Harm In A Few Little Postie Wosties" is in fact both tangible, severe, and actively breaking an ANTI-GENOCIDE STRIKE MOVEMENT.

YOU ARE BEING VERY CLEAR ABOUT WHERE YOUR PRIORITIES LIE. FACED WITH ACTUAL IRL LOSS OF HUMAN LIFE ON A MASSIVE SCALE, YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO GO AGAINST EVERYTHING THIS SHOW STANDS FOR AND EVERYTHING THAT YOU CLAIM TO KNOW AND RELATE TO SO CLOSELY. YOU ARE NOT A WINCHESTER. YOU ARE NOT A HUNTER. YOU WOULD NEVER GIVE ENOUGH OF A SHIT TO *BE* A HUNTER IF GIVEN THE CHOICE.

YOU ARE SIMPLY A REAL-LIFE PLAIN OLD AWFUL HUMAN BEING.

[rainbow--skies]

Okay more of me just yelling shit into the void but like. (This is a post targeted at queer teenagers who attend high school or an equivalent in their country btw, like anyone can read it but it won’t offer much of note to you) Does anyone else feel like their school’s GSA like. Doesn’t do anything? And it’s the only irl queer spaces they have access to? Don’t get me wrong I’m glad we at least have one but I eventually stopped going to meetings because it felt more like a social gathering than anything else. And that’s not to say having time to socialize and talk to other queer people about unrelated things isn’t crucial because it is but. I can just hang out with my friends for that. The entire purpose of having a GSA was to stand up against the widespread homophobia and transphobia at my school and to connect ourselves more with queer community and history and we just… didn’t do that. We would show up and talk about music and movies and school and play Kahoot and stuff but that’s about it. We talked about queer history in America a bit but it was all very basic stuff I already knew (though many queer kids today including many of the people who went don’t even know that so it was good we did that at the very least). We would on occasion plan to actually do stuff to promote LGBTQ+ acceptance at the school but nothing ever got done. Spending more time around other queer people in any sort of way was great but I live somewhere where there really aren’t any other queer spaces near me focused on the actual queer experience and history and social change, at least not ones welcoming to people my age. While I feel like I have avoided a lot of the terminally online queer brainrot and “sanitized” queer experience many people on here talk about younger queer people today experiencing just by virtue of seeking to learn about queer history and a variety of current queer people’s experiences as well as engaging in more mainstream representation of queer experiences or things that are similar to me and my experience, but I feel like it’s still important to be able to do this in real life queer spaces and not just on the internet, and I just have no other place to do that. Has anyone else felt this way?

Sorry if this is completely incomprehensible btw, it is literally intended for me and my followers to see and that’s about it so I didn’t really read through this after it was written

[amesstm]

suna rintarou with a short!so

A/N: not me imagining what it’s like to hug this tall man and blushing so hard that my own father wonders if I’m thinking about my irl boyfriend -

- First of all, Suna was already a meanie in the first place

- You know it. He knows it. We all know it.

- So you shouldn’t have had such high expectations that just because you two were dating that you were off of his bullying list

- Let’s be real, you were higher up the bullying-priority list now

- “Hey! Give me my switch back!” You said, jumping to get your switch

- Unfortunately, this man was tall and your vertical was a bit too short to reach

- Rin had the aud👏ac👏ity👏 to snicker, “And why should I do that?”

- You huffed before posing with as much artificial sweetness as possible, “Because I’m absolutely adorable?”

- Stonewall Rintarou had to resist blushing 😳🤚🏼

- “As acceptable of an answer as that is, you didn’t give me a kiss when I came back from practice.”

- “Okay, okay, come down here you giant.”

- You stepped to your tippy toes and closed your eyes but his lips never met yours

- “I also just wanted to get onto my Stardew Valley farm.”

- You’ll get him for that later. Because let’s face it - you’re easily able to kick him where it hurts :))

- This man would never admit it to anyone, but he is the small spoon of the relationship

- Yes, I WILL SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

- He loves how you cling onto him like you’re a little koala 🐨

- However, this does not mean that he will give you piggy back rides

- “Up,” you say, reaching your hands up like it would mean anything to him

- “I’m too lazy for this,” Rin sighs

- “Up!” You repeat, clinging onto his leg

- “You’re so persistent,” he murmurs. “Okay, fine, get up.”

- Omg wait - I just had a thought (dangerous, I know)

- This boy leaves out his hoodies, jerseys, and shirts for you

- If it were dirty socks or sweaty shorts, you’d be annoyed, but they’re… clean and neatly folded hoodies just sitting on the floor???

- Yeah, you can’t help yourself

- He is a man of ✨comfort✨, so his clothes are baggy and big in the first place

- The way that these are LITERALLY dresses on you - adorable; 12/10; he loves to see it

- Especially when you show up to games wearing his spare jersey, all decked out in sports gear

- How do you expect him to focus on the game when all he wants to do is look at you?

- For such a short person, you were the loudest cheerer in the stadium

- He tries to hide it but seeing you makes him smile so much when he feels like he’s not doing enough on court

- As for how you two kiss…? He offered a stepping stool the first time 🤡

- You two managed, but he did actually bring a stepping stool in the back of his car (this is secret information and you do not know this and I did not tell you this)

- Most of the time, he likes to kiss the top of your head, your forehead, or your temple

- You have plenty of pictures of him kissing those places, especially with him resting his head on yours or on your shoulder

- Speaking of pictures - you know this mans is out here being your personal photographer

- He will get on one knee… so you can be tall in your pictures (haha, got ‘em)

- But his personal favorites are taking you from his vantage point so you look short af

- What’s funnier is when you two are in a photo together and he needs to crouch so he’s in the frame

- But when he does get on his knee… you will feel so tall like you can touch the heavens

- Periodt. This man is so sweet when he wants to be 😪

- “Hey, hey, you don’t need to cry so much,” Rin flusters as he wipes away your tears

- “It’s just so sweet!” You mumble out, incomprehensible to everyone. “I can’t - I can’t wait to m-marry you!”

- Atsumu wonders aloud, “So do ya think their kids are gonna be tall or short?”

- Osamu slaps his twin upside the head for you

©amesstm on tumblr // pls do not plagiarize, steal, or repost my content w/o permission!! BUT likes & reblogs are highly appreciated :)

[dimpleviolence]

Actually okay here's my list

1. jiang cheng........ I hate to say it but i am and forever will be obsessed with jiang cheng. Can you blame me. He suffers SO much and SO compellingly. Literally he is the kendall roy of cql and it's just so terrible to witness and one cannot look away. If I think about him too much I start to get irl emotional. It's fine. I'm normal

2. jin guangyao, obviously. One of the best gay villains in any media I've ever seen. Zzj did NOT come to play with you hoes

3. wen qing aka smartest person in the whole show

4. lan xichen... [shivers uncontrollably] I don't even know if i can count this guy as a 'favorite' it's more like I'm fascinated by his deeply incomprehensible mind. I would genuinely love to study him

5. nie huaisang... nie huaiSANG!! Evil gay cartoon mouse of my heart

[comradeclown]

Was thinking about the Murray Franklin Show scene, as I do at all times, and it’s interesting to me just how effective and thematically meaningful the slow reveal of Murray’s cruelty is — like, this movie isn’t subtle... at all, lol (not meant  as a criticism, I think it’s actually great that it’s about as gloriously unsubtle as a multiple clown car pile-up) but it really does a great slow, low-key build-up as it comes to pulling the curtain off the real Murray v. Arthur’s idealised fantasy. In Murray’s first scene we see him make a joke referencing the ongoing garbage strike (a pretty obvious reference to the air traffic controllers strike that happened in 1981 irl) but it’s a pretty inoffensive joke, so while Arthur’s fantasy is obviously unrealistic, it’s not really jarring as such. But then the next time we see Murray, he literally makes fun of his own son (“the not so smart one”) and then escalates to using his huge platform to ridicule someone who basically did nothing wrong (I mean, obviously by that point Arthur has killed the three subway douches but that’s not doing anything wrong Murray doesn’t know that). There’s not even anything remotely objectionable in Arthur’s jokes or anything, he doesn’t throw an aggressive public tantrum etc, Murray is just putting this random nobody on blast on national tv for... having a visible disability, basically.

So Murray one-upping this by inviting Arthur to the show purely so he can humiliate him further is a perfectly logical progression, but what I really like is that Murray’s tone and demeanour is completely unchanged throughout all this, it’s not so much him going full mask-off as it’s Arthur (and us the audience through Arthur) realising that the mask was never there in the first place and it’s all of a piece with the film’s deconstruction of not just the assumptions and beliefs Arthur starts off with but stuff like capitalism and neoliberalism, the American Dream, the Batman mythos etc (on that note it always boggles my mind when I see people saying that they only added the Batman stuff so they could sell the movie, considering that if you removed the Batman stuff this movie would be... well, not outright incomprehensible, but like a three-tier cake without the middle tier).

In fact, this slow reveal is so successful — and quite cleverly placed in points where big flashy emotional stuff sucks up a lot of the attention — that some people just refuse to see what’s literally on screen, such that if you, for instance, go to the TvTropes page for the Clown Movie (which I recommend you do if you want a good laugh at some incredible galaxy brain takes) there’s reams of elaborate fanfic to try to make Murray not a bellend and find some “good” motivation for him to have Arthur on the show — a lot of it based on the fact that he’s perfectly professional towards Arthur in the dressing room, as if... he was going to pin a kick me sign to his back or something? — when we literally get to see, unequivocally, on screen why Murray invited Arthur on the show, before Arthur even walks on stage Murray is already mocking him when talking to Dr Sally and then he just carries on constantly trying to dunk on him? It’s all right guys, I promise you Murray was always a complete dick all along!

Anyway, I just think it’s neat dot gif, but also now I’m thinking about all of Murray’s jokes that we didn’t get to see, I’m sure that his takes on the strikers and strike action in general were definitely not terrible!

[jonathanrook]

legally i have to give you intern 2

em you have awoken an ungodly beast inside me so i need to warn everyone that this post is. incomprehensible. but so is mymusic so i guess we're all used to it.

How I feel about this character:

i watched mymusic as it was airing/running/coming out specifically bc i'm a jack stannie, and as a kid melvin was my second favorite character (w scene being in first, obvs) for mostly that reason. he basically hovered around this ranking until my most recent rewatch in the summer of 2020, which was actually spurred by some events in my personal life that vaguely reminded me of scene's season two arc w jeff, and i thought it'd been a funny/nostalgic way to get my mind off things.

(i want to side note here that -- i know you didn't ask, but -- i love jeff. i have since i was a kid. like, obviously not as a person but i think he's honestly the best written character in the series, w indie close in second. idk what it says about the f*nes that their most interesting and well rounded characters are the villains, but i digress. to this day i'm salty that jeff never got added to the theme song and wasn't really included in promotional merch.)

however, in said rewatch, certain things about how he was written started to really get under my skin, and certain moments in particular have really stuck out to me in a negative way. like, for the entirety of season one and a good chunk of season two he's one person, and then he leaves mymusic and we have an entirely different person, but not in a nuanced character building sort of way.

i've said a few of these points before but i'll repeat them here regardless. at the risk of sounding like i've put on a tin-foil hat, it's my sneaking suspicion that scindie was supposed to be endgame, but since fan reception to it was pretty neutral, and scenechart stans were, at the very least, more vocal, changes were made to the intended finale, which is why in the last scene he's basically just. indie. like, if everything about the show was exactly the same but indie was the one who had ended up w scene in the end that would have made so much more sense since a) scene had a crush on indie that he/everyone knew about and b) indie was kind of a dick despite the half-assed attempts at redemption, so both combined make it slightly less weird/out-of-nowhere that he kisses her w/o her consent (since, even though like. implied consent is not real at worst and a fuzzy subject at best but you could argue that scene would want indie to kiss her); and this isn't even taking into consideration that c) melvin is heavily queer-coded in both seasons, with his friendship with nerdcore being, dare i say, homoerotic at times, and his arc about leaving the company and changing his name mirroring nerdcore's almost perfectly (with nerdcore being a character who b*nny [at least] has all but confirmed is actually gay).

i've also been on the fence about melvin's behavior in that final scene making more sense for indie's character being an intentional decision as a way of shoe-horning in a theme about the lasting effects of abuse/cycles of abuse/the corruption of power but i also don't think the f*nes are smart enough for that. however, for the sake of defending my straw theory, i also point to the scene where indie comes to visit the acid factory after melvin told him to shut up, and we see melvin use reggie as a foot-stool, going as far as to say that it feels good to do so (which, in all honesty, i think is a bit that was entirely improvised, since the f*nes were "notorious for never saying cut" [paraphrased from a bts video], but work w me here). he's also given a seltzer mug that perfectly resembles indie's kombucha mug. in these moment melvin is directly emulating the behavior of his previous abuser, purposefully or not, literal moments after being promoted to an equal position of authority, which was totally just included as a joke, but could also be argued is meant to show that he's becoming indie; or, if we acknowledge that the f*nes have no fucking clue what they're doing and were just directing like chickens with their heads cut off, it at least shows that melvin's new position of power is leading him to understand where indie was coming from, which is supported by their conversation in the finale.

the following contains a couple brief mentions of irl sexual assault so if that's something you'd like to avoid skip to the next section!

HOWEVER, that alone isn't what i have a problem with, since i think melvin is completely justified in being a dick to indie (and also reggie enthusiastically consents to being used as an ottoman so good for him i guess). the issue comes completely in how he treats scene in the scenes where the f*nes clearly thought what they were writing was super romantic. like, the fact that the only thing he's got hung on his cubicle wall is a single picture of scene taken from the fucking opening credits (like. how hard would it have been to have. literally any other photo[s] esp since there's an abundance of cute bts pics of the cast in costume that could have been put there) and him scrolling through her twitter at work really creep me out (and at the risk of oversharing the weird, like, social media stalking angle really fucks w me bc that may or may not have been the exact fucking thing i was trying to escape in rewatching mymusic in the first place). also, having him sexually assault scene as a means of comforting her after she had just been sexually assaulted in the same way by someone else was... a choice (which is also, uh, personally familiar).

again, i recognize that demonizing melvin wasn't what the f*nes were trying to do here, and i perhaps seem hypocritical for opening liking jeff, but what makes jeff work is he's intentionally "the bad guy." having melvin do the same things as indie and jeff uncritically only proves further that the f*nes can't write for shit, and ruins his character which had, up until he quit mymusic, been unironically good. like, it's obviously not beneficial that the exact asshole things he does are personally triggering, but the character would still be a mess and i would still dislike him regardless.

i want to say though that jack delivers a surprisingly great performance despite how shoddily his character is constructed and how little experience he has as an actor. like, it's clear he was having a lot of fun on set and i would love to see him in something, like, good; i think he could pull off even like, guest television roles, which is a lot more than can be said for other youtubers.

-----

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

nerdchart should have been canon i'm sorry. i know that close, nonromantic male friendships are valuable, esp between queer men, but also gd wouldn't it have been baller to have a canon interracial mlm ship. like. c'mon. and they could have been such a good friends to lovers story! we already got to see how melvin was the only person nerdcore could really be himself around so it would have been so cool if melvin's self-advocacy arc/flowchart arc had revolved more around nerdcore with a little role-reversal! and then they kiss! like god intended!

also i ship him and indie bc i'm a grubby little gremlin man ohoho. enemies w weird sexual tension? sign me up. not even enemies to lovers i'm not saying this one should have been canon i just love the vibes. do you think melvin and indie ever explored each other's bod-- *gunshot*

-----

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

i wish him and scene had just been bros. god remember in season one when they were just bros that was the life.

alternatively, i wish we'd seen more bonding w him and metal, as a means of reconciling that. uh. moment from season one. along similar lines i would have loved to see him get closer w rayna in a similar way to how she bonded w nerdcore in season two. i think that could have also worked to show how she'd grown between the two seasons.

-----

My unpopular opinion about this character:

HIM. AND. SCENE. SHOULD. HAVE. JUST. BEEN. BROS. (though i think my general dislike of him is pretty unpopular, lmao).

when the show was coming out i don't think it's unfair to say that scenechart/scenetern 2 was the most popular ship (aside from potentially techstep whatever) but luckily we're all gay and have better taste now. unfortunately i totally fell into this camp and scenechart was even my otp for years (until it was arguably more unfortunately usurped by reddie in 2019) and i didn't even realise that it's a hot mess until, again, the summer of 2020.

when actually watching the show the choices the f*nes made in regards to how the ship actually became canon are so odd and out of place, too? okay, so, on one hand everyone just shipped scenechart bc it was the whitest hettiest ship in the show (esp in season two when idol left) aside from scindie (and we already discussed what's wrong w that). but, on the other hand, lainey and jack clearly also just got along? and i suspect that lainey probably also admired jack's work and was happy to be working with him bc we have so many shots throughout even the first season when the ship wasn't the intended endgame of lainey scene looking really fondly at jack melvin at times when it doesn't make much sense at all, esp since she's smitten w indie? this trend continues into the second season which arguably works but it still seems really out of place for him to be the one to ultimately make the first move on her since it's clear she was the one crushing this whole time and also he's gay! this bitch is gay what the fuck!!

-----

One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon:

at this point i'm struggling to think of anything i haven't covered yet. oops.

i've talked at length before about how he should have been a woman/lesbian, but the tl;dr is that it would have solved a lot of the queer-coding "problems" that just didn't get resolved in the show. if he'd been a lesbian then not only would the friendship w nerdcore still made sense, but scenechart would have as well (not even mentioning that both of scene's other relationships w men make a lot of sense as comphet anyway).

[edengarden]

hey man when you have the time can i pwetty pwease get a music matchup!

3 positive traits of mine areeee: brave, resilient and friendly!

3 negatives are: obnoxious, stubborn, extremely distrusting

my hobbies include: true crime, baking, reading and crying over video games

my music taste is mostly rock, other close faves are metal, punk, folk anything super upbeat but depressing and indie! though as for most people im open to all kinds too uwu oh and i know its not a genre itself but im also a huge sucker for songs where the singers get so into singing they have that kind of loud yell/growl in some parts of it? i ascend to another realm when i hear it tbh, sorry if thats like incomprehensible orz

what i look for is kindness, sincerity, humour and passion tbh

things i dont like in people are mostly just genuinely mean people who feel the need to put others down. not in a joking friend asshole way but in a genuinely malicious way. cant stand em, i can will and have gotten into fights with these ppl. why be mean when u can be... nice and help ppl and make them smile like... i just dont get it.

my big three star signs are taurus sun, cancer moon and pisces rising. idk jackshit abt but ppl call me baby bc of it and i am NOT a baby! i may look like a blue haired version of the aDAM vine guy but!! im not baby, i am bastard if anything.

im also an entp-t if that uhhh helps.

fun facts about myself, uh im super good at reading people irl, im a human lie detector and it freaks people out. this uh.. does make me have trust issues.

i once got into a fight in a library with a group of people bc they were blackmailing one of my friends. i subsequently got kicked out but! i did win and my friend wasn't harassed by those ppl ever since.

oh im rly good with animals, i have a reputation where i live for taking in animals and helping them find their homes!

im very loud and stupid, it bewilders people how stupid i am. ironically ive got medals for academics. you wouldnt think that of someone who quire literally kept pushing a pull door in front of three people and proceeded to say "damn :/ i think this door is stuck" and then immediately have one of those people silently pull the door open and... man you can imagine the faces they all gave me. orz.

ooookie dokie i think thats it! sorry if this was too much! if you want me to elaborate or need any help deciphering my bullshit ill call myself 💥anon and ill try to help anyway i can

anyway thanks for your time i hope you have a fantastic day!

GROWLINF SINGERS ARE THE BEST I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOOOODDDDDD. I GET EARGASMS I SWAR THE EMOTIONS ARE OFF THE CHARTS-

Also, you sound like a MOOD. I’m a Taurus sun too UwU

I’d match you up with Semi!

Okay I know this sounds like a rough match but listen, listen... your taste in hobbies and music is IMMACULATE to him. Kudos to you, he respects the fricken drip.

I can also very easily see you two cuddled up on the couch late at night and watching buzzfeed unsolved?? Like that’s your ideal date??

And Semi finds your “stupidity” so endearing?? For some reason?? Like yea he’s gonna scold you for trying to push a “pull” door but oh my god he can’t believe that you’re the same person who’s acing all their classes, it’s mind-boggling. You’re his little phenomenon.

Semi will always go to you when he gets song inspo. Whether it’s lyrics or instrumental, he wants your opinion on the matter even if you’re not that music oriented. The only thing is he might get a bit shy showing his work to you if you’re mentioned in the lyrics or if it’s obvious that the song is about you. Please praise the poor boy he’ll deny it but he’s melting and/or blushing. If he manages to get some funky growl vocals or instrumentals, or REALLY good chords and dissonance and you react in any way (whether it be a gasp or a literal pterodactyl screech), he’s gonna feel so proud omg omg from now on his goal is to get that reaction from you as often as possible.

Thank god semi isn’t a “I’ll hold ur flower bby you go beat up the assholes” type of boyfriend bc you’d get in trouble so often?? I think Semi would cut the bullshit and remind you that getting hurt over that isn’t worth it. He’ll physically hold you back if he needs, I swear. But usually, he’s got the words necessary to explain to you that no, throwing hands in this situation will not improve it at all so please don’t go punch a nazi in the face you can just film it and call the person out so that the world can see. Semi’ll help you find out who they are and together you’ll report them to their workplace and have them fired. Semi will teach you the ways of cunning revenge.

Songs!!

- Sons of the Silent Age, David Bowie (THE EMOTIONS THE EMOTIONS THE EM- Semi practically mastered that song because the two of you sing it so often)

- The Dogs of War, Pink Floyd

- Owner of a Lonely Heart, Yes

- Money, Money, Money, Meryl Streep, Julie Walters & Christine Baranski (the growl you’ll love the growl and so does Semi)

[majorxmaggiexboy]

&& watching treasure planet (1/2)

the menu  music is giving me some lil How to Train Your Dragon vibes and i am already Happy

THX NOISE

the music! is so! pretty!

“the aethirium”

ship creaking asmr

THERE HE IS

man if that ponytail ever came undone thatd be an interesting visual huh

10/10 would wear that outfit irl it wouldn’t even be cosplay

dude’s got the laws he breaks memorized

“BACK! OFF! SIR!”

the angst begins already

how old is this child? he is TINY

he might have a criminal record but idk i think it’s sweet he immediately runs to try and help

love how this dude’s like “beware the cyborg” and then not only do attackers show up immediately but then Delbert and Jim immediately go join a crew with the exact Cyborg dude was trying to warn them about like. the odds.

the shot of Sarah looking back at the burning inn is Too Much. I die.

*unlocks the sphere w/o even trying* jimmers

the spaceport is making me dizzy oh heck oh no

love the Cap’n and Mr. Arrow

Her face when she gets the map OwO

just say ma’am Jim it won’t kill you

SLOUCHY

come on Jim he might literally be the exact cyborg you were warned about but don’t be all judgemental.

MORPH

im cry how did Delbert manage to hire the crew that burned down the inn tho like. DUDE.

Jimmer trying to be clever and figure out if That’s The Guy but Silver’s Poker Face is Too Strong

DELBERT DID YOU NOT BACKGROUND CHECK ANY OF THESE PEOPLE YOU’RE ABOUT TO HAVE AROUND SARAH’S KID FOR MONTHS ON END

i’m so nervous. Protect Him.

DUDE STOP

i’m uncomfortable

dude: *commits violence against a kid* the entire damn crew: “HECK YEAH THIS IS GREAT”

“What’s all this” I’ll tell you what it was Rocky it was the crew being a bunch of FREAKS is what it was

“Pick your fights” DUDE WHEN WHERE THERE AN OPTION. WHEN. WHEN DID YOU SEE AN OPTION? i mean yeah he didn’t HAVE to sass the bug guy but MY DUDE? FELLA? HE WAS ALREADY IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING MURDERED IDK WHAT YOU WANT

restraining orders. restraining orders everywhere

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII AM A QUESTION TO THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD NOT AN ANSWER TO BE HEAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRD

OR A MOMENT

THAT’S HEEEEEEEEEEEELLD

IN YOUR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARMMMMMMMMS

@ jims dad die pls u suck

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WANT A MOMENT TO BE REAAL

WANNA TOUCH THINGS

I DON’T FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL

WANNA HOLD ON

AND FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL AVALON I BELONG

“Now you know me, and I’m not afraid” no but i am WEEPING though

I WANNA TELL YOU WHO I AM

@ jims dad YOU SUCK. YOU’RE THE WORST. HOW DARE

AND LIES THAT I’LL NEVER BELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIV

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WANT A MOMENT TO BE R

SILVER YOU ARE THE RAT BASTARD OF THE YEAR DON’T BE SPEAKING TO MY BOY

DON’T EVEN LOOK AT HIM DUDE

were they about to have a nap together

the sheer terror of “SILVER-!” when dude falls off the thing someone please hug this kid

Delbert said this voyage would be ‘character building’ but what he really meant was “we’re gonna go collect some TRAUMA”

FIGHT ME MR SCOOPS THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR

“I have a lot of help to offer, anatomically” DOPLER SHUT UP

LIKE HELL HIS LIFELNE WASN’T SECURE SCOOPS FIGHT ME. DENNY’S. THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE BASTARDRY OF YOUR ACTIONS IS APPALLING SIR

Silver, “It’s not your fault” doesn’t cut it. You’ve got to actually tell him, “So it turns out ya didn’t get a man killed, Jimbo. It was actually murder as a direct result of the mutiny I’ve been planning this entire time. Also, I’m A Horrible Person”

BABY

SILVER YOU DID NOT EARN THAT HUG

overhearing all that DX Jim i’m so sorry DX

cutting for length bc tumbl refuses to let me put a readmore

[outrotearbias]

completely inadequate and semi-incomprehensible concert post:

it was in fact raining the entire time and extremely cold but my best friend brought rain ponchos which literally saved our lives and also i lost touch with my physical form as soon as dionysus started so it’s cool

the only thing that actually did really suck about the rain (other than it just sucking in general) is that they didn’t do things like jungkook didn’t fly and they didn’t go on the bouncy slide. but to be fair most concerts don’t have flying or bouncy slides so, again, it’s cool

i genuinely couldn’t wild out to dionysus as much as i wanted because it was the first song and i was shook to my fucking core that i was staring at them to the point that i lost all other senses including hearing. also i was highkey so worried about them slipping on stage (they didn’t!!! thank god)

ok i’m not going to go through every song but i was in particular blown to pieces by each and every solo performance. of course i loved the ensemble songs to death and they were also incredible performances but there’s just something about being able to truly focus on one member at a time. it really hits in a different way

namjoon is the finest man i’ve ever seen in my life on god i’ve never felt a presence like his in my life. every time he looked in the camera i felt so disrespected like this man. he is literally not real

jin’s vocals actually knocked me off my fuckin feet, like i’ve always thought he has a nice voice but. i’m not kidding he literally has some of the best vocals i’ve ever heard live. if i read that statement a week ago i honestly would not have believed it but i’m a truly changed woman. my sister was lowkey a jin anti lmfao but she’s completely changed by his performance. epiphany was literally a religious experience. i truly think saw god in that moment.

hobi is literally. there are no words for this man. people are really really not joking when they say he OWNS the stage. if someone paid me a billion dollars to look away from him during just dance for half a millisecond i wouldn’t’ve been able to. what the fuck is up with that dude like. what the fuck. the things he did to me are NOT okay.

i am now sexually attracted to jimin and i do not want to talk about it .

jungkook’s stage presence really caught me off guard for some reason like he is powerful as hell and it’s REALLY something

tae is the only one who didn’t surprise me in any way. i KNEW how that bitch was gonna be and he lived up to every expectation exactly. i can’t remember singularity at all, i went into the most lust-fuelled rage of my goddamn life

yoongi. i really genuinely cannot explain this man’s aura. literally the only word that gets somewhat close is healing. i actually can’t write about it like....he’s exactly how you’d think he is but just seeing that it’s actually REAL is so fucking overwhelming and i don’t know what to do w how much i love him it is completely unsustainable. also his vocals really sounded different to me irl but in a really good way and it’s like ok can we get some recording technology that actually captures that specific tone PLEASE.

i feel like i should mention outro: tear here but i really already summed it up. really really not cute sob fest and it felt like it was 0.2 seconds long and i still can’t believe that i actually saw it

the energy there was just so good and i know that sounds obvious but truly they felt so genuine in their love and happiness

every time a member came up to the corner of the stage that was close to me i really felt all my organs liquify. hobi and yoongi in particular tbh like whatever they were radiating annihilated me

my expectations were HIGH and they still somehow exceeded them, both in my impressions of them as people and in their performances

there’s so much more but this is already stupidly long and obnoxious and i don’t know what else to say other than they are so so so beautiful and talented and know how to put on an incredible, incredible show. which all goes without saying but seeing and hearing it is. an Experience and ik this is corny to say but i really really hope that everyone gets to see them someday

[sfjn]

i don’t post my thoughts on here as much as i used to, i mostly just observe and reblog. but that video really set me off? like it kind of made me start thinking of all the fun i’ve had on here, in spite of tumblr being an eternal headache of listening to ppl say batshit crazy stuff. i have seen a number of reflections on this change in tumblr’s guidelines, and i have my own thoughts on it. but right now i’m just kind of thinking of the past 7 years. this website got me thru some of the most isolating times of my life, introduced me to a host of ppl that i regularly meet up w irl and text, connected me with media on a level far and above anything else i’ve ever seen, and helped me understand myself, even if the way it went about it was insanely demonic and nearly incomprehensible. i wasn’t exposed to as much popular media (like tv shows, music) as my peers were growing up, which i often found hard. but i was able to find a common ground with pockets of people on here. i found a lot of people to talk to about music that i liked, even as i found myself unable to find or connect w ppl in person who were on the same wavelength. i was able to post a ton of dramatic mental unwellness posts on here, back when i found that kind of stuff therapeutic. i was able to discuss identity w ppl who i wasn’t afraid of. i like being able to see friends reblog things i would never post, like a tiny light they are placing in a window, and to savor the taste of something not from me. i have super vivid memories of running up the street on summer nights to borrow my cousin’s internet to see what a friend had messaged me. that was how much i craved the connection. communities like this one (which, for me, mostly involves messaging close friends, marveling at humor and images, and watching mutuals evolve increasingly disparate interests and whatnot) are the most evolved communities we have. like literally look at how humans normally socialize, and then look at this landscape. it’s kind of like an extension of normality, but it’s also bonkers. and i love that. the discourse on here is so incredibly stupid. i know. it is just the way we all are, truly. yet through it all, there does shine some sort of light, i think, with which i can read the mangled text on the packaging, and decipher something of it that’s good. god. i am actually grateful for tumblr. i am feeling its abundance right now. but remember that wonderful quote: almost everything is not on the internet.

[holden-norgorov]

The Kalagang irl meeting.

Let’s talk about this mess of a scene, because it fails on so many levels that I really find it barely watchable, and I’m vividly sure I will never watch it again. Probably the worst scene in all the show, and the only one I can’t forgive at all.

For starters, it’s completely decontextualized from the narrative coherence of the previous events. We were left with Rajan and Wolfgang physically together and Kala with Lito, Hernando and Dani leaving the club. Why is Kala arriving at the shelter in a car with Bug? It’s not necessarily a continuity error, because this moment happens likely the day (or even days) after the exchange. Still, though, this doesn’t explain why this scene is shown to us in this way: are we supposed to buy the idea of Kala never meeting with the two of them for a couple of days or, if she did, never properly talking to them until now? What really happened between these two scenes? It really isn’t clear at all. So, the writing is little too obvious and orchestrated for it to be believable, but really this may be the least problematic aspect.

Then we are shown Wolfgang rightfully thanking Rajan for saving him and showing him some deserved gratitude, since Rajan actually prevented Lila from killing him. So, this is a totally acceptable and understandable behavior for him. The problem steams from the fact that the writers clearly intended for this moment to hint at something bigger and different between the two and expected us to accept it even though it came from nowhere at all. And this is mostly disappointing knowing how carefully and worthily Lana represented and explained the complex realm of human sexualities for the past two seasons. For each character there has always been a detailed attention in the exploration of their identities, especially regarding their approach to sex and their sexual preferences. Knowing this, it’s quite a downer witnessing such a great work lose its power and value in this scene, where some bubbling from Rajan is supposed to suggest us something never mentioned or addressed before. It’s a totally superficial and cheap choice that weakens the depth and the heaviness of the importance that the show itself has always given to sexual orientation and self-awareness. For twenty-three episodes we have never been given the slightest hint of Rajan being anything but a hetero-sexual man, and if he wasn’t from the very start, Lana would surely have found a way to let us understand quite instantly (since thankfully she cares a lot about these themes and would never fail to portray them properly ― at least I believed it, until now). For this very reason I find it inappropriate and very inadequate for the writers to imply superficially (and without providing a needed foundation) the existence of an instant, unmotivated attraction between two characters who have never been shown to struggle with their sexual orientations. Sense8 has always treated its characters way better than this misleading and trivial stare-action between Wolfgang and Rajan suggests. It really looks like a joke.

Kala arrives in the car and shows again second thoughts. Objectively, this is not an incomprehensible thing. I think it’s true to her character showing hesitance right now, knowing that Rajan helped them and saved Wolfgang personally. What many people fail to understand, though, is that these second thoughts don’t correspond to a sudden newborn love indecision. Kala is once again showing uncertainty regarding “which rules to follow”, not “which man to choose” (she has clear ideas about her feelings, she is just afraid and hesitant of turning her back from her duties ― which now are more oppressive than ever, because her husband has proved to be a good and worthy man). Since Kala is conscious that Rajan has proved to be fundamental in Wolfgang’s salvation and providing a shelter, I don’t feel like blaming her for a newfound indecisiveness. She was ready to be with Wolfgang and tell Rajan the truth because during all S2 he acted quite badly towards her, instead now the writers presented him (in a totally cheap way, but still) as redeemable, therefore she develops a new sense of guilt and discomfort to hurt him. So, overall, I can consider this moment acceptable. But this hesitance doesn’t translate in a romantic awakening from her towards her husband. She simply finds herself not ready to hurt him anymore, so she goes back to “talk in circles”.

What I actually really consider outrageous here is Bug’s suggestion that a choice shouldn’t be made and, worst, Kala’s immediate acceptance of this. This moment not only destroys Kala’s character evolution in the past seasons, but it also sends a horrible message. First of all, I don’t clearly see why there shouldn’t be ethical rules if she was able to be in two different places at the same time. I know the visiting element is complex, but, in my opinion, it still doesn’t allow a person to cheat on another, and staying with two people at the same time is cheating (especially if a “sapiens” is involved, because he is unfairly cut out from part of it because of natural limitations). On a strictly conceptual point of view, I could see the appeal of this idea: by being naturally able to “multiply” yourself, you could be able to naturally “multiply” your feelings too. But being able to be in two places at the same time doesn’t mean that you become two different people. And the fact is always that: Kala is not suffering from a love indecision. She isn’t romantically conflicted, she is torn between obligation and herself. By stating “there are no rules” the show basically implies that it’s okay for Kala to keep avoiding her right and duty to choose for herself and keep maintaining her uncertainties unresolved. And if this is really the case, then the question is: what was the point of Kala’s character at all? Why showing us two seasons of internal struggle only for it to end up being completely ignored? It doesn’t make sense. If the purpose of the show had really been for her to not come to a choice at all, I think at least all S2 would have been written very differently than it actually was. By rejecting the very fundament of Kala’s character, her constant worries now seem to have always been pointless, because what Bug suggests is actually a stupid way out that she already knew and that definitely couldn’t be anything but a temporary solution. She was already conscious that she could be in two places at the same time, and she actually used this at her advantage by visiting Wolfgang for the entire second season and being with the only man she loved and was comfortable with. But this “visiting” skill accessible only to Sensoriums shouldn’t erase the moral laws and conventions that are applied equally to both species. Kala shouldn’t be excused by anyone, especially Rajan, for taking advantage of this “privilege” in order to reject her responsibilities. Choosing by herself and for herself was her ultimate responsibility as a character and an Indian woman, and here the writers just decided to nullify all of it. In my opinion, it’s okay for Kala to show a newfound unease towards the difficult and life-defining choice that she has to make, but it’s not okay for her to decide to avoid it at all and expect Wolfgang and Rajan to accept it. The moment where Kala acts all mind-blown in front of Bug’s completely wrong advice, I could feel her character slowly disintegrating. Why would she even consider this as a solution? If this had really been a solution for her, if she really felt like she could “have both”, she wouldn’t have had any problem at all since the beginning of the show. But she had, because truth is that there are rules, and a choice was supposed to be made to give a meaning to her self-worth discovery. We as human beings are defined firstly by our choices: to have Kala degenerate as a character and suddenly avoid any responsibility that she had to deal with for two seasons is just an insulting and unacceptable message (apart from being incoherent with how her character was built and totally nonsensical).

Then we see Kala exiting the car and approaching Rajan, playing the wife role. Regardless of anything, this moment is just out of character. During the end of S2, we have been made promises and raised expectations regarding Wolfgang and Kala’s real meeting both by a conversation between Kala and Riley in S02E10 and a heart-felt monologue by Kala herself in S02E11. In that same episode, Kala was literally unable to keep her breath steady just thinking about the emotions of this moment. We have been fed for two seasons of the unprecedented intensity and depth of their connection. Also, Wolfgang has been captured, tortured multiple times, nearly killed and finally rescued. There is just no way that Kala, once she finally has the opportunity of touching him in real life for the first time, consciously goes first to her husband and kisses him in front of the love of her life. It’s laughable even thinking about it, no matter how badly she may feel about hurting him. But I sincerely hope think that almost every human with a brain agrees that this choice was OOC and very questionable. Also, about the line “Rajan, you are much more than the man I thought I married”, I feel that it’s totally understandable for Kala to have this new opinion of him. I personally just think that the writers made her say it in a completely out-of-place situation. It just feels wrong in this particular moment, when you are ignoring the man you were willing to die for who is standing right there behind you husband.

What’s the point of showing us all the touching and the kissing in the sun and everything between Wolfgang and a visiting Kala? Bad editing, maybe for time constraints, but according to how they realized the scene, it seems to me that physical Kala is the one who hugs Wolfgang at the end, once all of that is already finished, and I can tell this because Rajan is actually observing the hug with a worried, even hurt expression (which he has every right to have, since his wife has just decided to play him and has previously failed to tell him about her connection with Wolfgang). Such an unfair mess we have here, in every aspect.

I have also problems with the direction of the kiss. It’s just realized weirdly and from a not-so-optimal position. It was kind of odd to watch, and it wasn’t even in person.

[borisbubbles]

19. UKRAINE

MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder” 17th place

My feelings on Mélovin haven’t changed at all since the preshow. I always found his presence in this year’s Eurovision to be one I liked, but very little more. Know that I’m fully aware of all the little Mélovers reading this post probably ready to cry outrage and ugh... Why do I have this inkling I’ll have to spend more time explaining why I didn’t rank Mélovin higher, as opposed to why I like him? 

Anyway: why does Mélovin rank as high as he does? He was pretty laffos, I thought. He greeted us with THIS:

and then proceeded to do THIS:

which is one of the best entrances to any Eurovision performance, period. Mélovin as a performer, is largely focused on form, rather than function, and he’s pretty good at it: His performances are rife with high octane drama and incomprehensible English, which all builds up to his mysterious persona. His impromptu interview with Filomena where he basically came out as an irl vampire was hilar because it CLEARLY wasn’t a part of the script they had rehearsed beforehand and she had to instantly break it off <3 Ultimately, I would say there are two reasons to like Mélovin: His Cult of Personality and the Spectacle Show he brings with him. 

I like both, 

you know there’s a “but” incoming ;)

but unfortunately for Mélovin, he kinda underwhelmed me with both. During Vidbir he had to contend for my affection with coochie-flashing cougresses,

literal minotaurs:

and whatever these stonergods were <3

Therefore, Mélovin was always the second-to-fourth best option, depending on how I feel about Kadnay and Vilna at the moment. In Eurovision proper it only became worse, which gave us many colourful personalities (Zibbz, Elina, Eleni, Vanja, Lea Sirk, Benjamin, Netta, Sennek, Rasmussen, Ieva, Saara, AWS, too many to sum up) and amongst those the aloof weirdo in Dracula drag didn’t quite stand out enough for me. 

Mélovin desperately seeks fame and tries to accomplish this by being many things at once: singer, songwriter, activist, fashion designer, goth, perfume distiller, Dracula Impersonator, chandler, accountant, stunt driver, mechanical winch operator, mixologist, warlock, make up artist (posting this pic again because it’s my fave pic of the preshow:

) which is inherently INTERESTING but also much to take in, like... In Eurovision, where everyone’s individual backstage time amounts to 2-8 minutes of collective footage*, it becomes a wash of traits I care little for. (*interviews not counted, since ESC interviews are boring 95% of the time. The remaining 5% is when DebanGoddess does them)

As for the spectacle side, the act had the Best Start Ever, but “Under the ladder” is not a particularly strong entry; the fact that Mélovin is largely incomprehensible is a huge net plus because the song itself one of the usual “belief in yourself” anthems that make up 57% of this contest’s canon and it’s the Mélovinese that makes it distinguishable. Either way, the song is average, meaning that an epic act is NEEDED to keep interest going. Moldova, Cyprus and Germany all nailed this very hard, outgrowing their mediocre songs. Ukraine, not so much. Mélovin’s act peaks at second forty-five and then kinda falls flat, despite the backing choir’s best efforts. The showstopper, the Flaming Piano, looked way better during Vidbir. 

What I’m trying to say is: What we saw was good, but there’s something missing for me. Some spark. Some insanity. Some consistency. For all his promised drama and mystery, Mélovin is weirdly unmemorable within this year, which is a problem considering that “making a huge splash” is what he’s all about. I don’t think Eurovision is made for the Mélovins of our world. Put them inside glass cages  or on reality shows (precumming at the thought of Mélovin on Project Runway <3), but they’re wasted on Eurovision where their brand of crazy is, ironically, too ridiculous to thrive. 

VIDBIR ADDENDUM I probably could’ve written this with fewer words, but I really wanted to pay tribute to the best national selection in this year. It really speaks for Mélovin’s inherent goodness that he won it, even if he weren’t my favourite at any point during the show. If you’ve missed Vidbir, I’ve included links to the top four below: Melovin - Under the Ladder (Vidbir) Tayanna - “Lelya” Vilna - “Forest Song” Kadnay - “Beat of the universe” PS: There are days where I like Kadnay even more than Tayanna. VEND. FIYAH. GUY. DMEEEEEEEE. 

RANKING SO FAR:

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)