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softlysuga · 8 months ago

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satan's sweetheart [ch. 1]

You’re a demon. One day, you’re summoned into a living room, and an exhausted woman quickly rambles about needing to get to work and being unable to find a sitter before flying out the door. Now, you stand in your summoning circle, a toddler staring wide eyed at you.

pairing: taehyung x female demon!reader genre: fluff, crack, smut (but in the other chapters) rating: pg-13 wc: 2.7k

warnings: mentions of the underworld, death (like the Reaper), pagan activities? i mean the woman literally summons a demon LOL

note: prompt is by @writing-prompt-s! i thought it was actually fcking hilarious and half the time i was writing i was like wtf is this LOL also thank you to @jtrbluv for beta reading! my d1 tumblr moot ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ ♡.°₊ˎˊ˗

-> let me know if you want me to make a taglist for this fic or any other fics :)

There’s a tugging sensation at your stomach, and your lips curl into a smile.

A summoning. Finally.

Relaxing, you let the sorcery of the summoning whisk you away from your dwelling and hear the familiar pop in your ears as you enter the human realm. Dust setting, you open your eyes, hoping to feast your eyes on your next meal.

“Who dares to summon—” you boom in your demonic form, clouds of smoke entering the room and a glow of evil cloaking your figure. Of course, it’s all theatrics.

But…

“I’m so sorry, I tried calling for a babysitter but no one was free,” a frazzled-looking woman interrupts, “and I know, you’re probably like, well, can’t you ask family—”

The woman scrambles to find her keys and belongings, slowly lugging her bag to a door. You stand a few feet away in the middle of a summoning star adorned with a few candles and eerie-looking symbols. There’s an offering of fruits and leftover Halloween candy, along with an edition of the Grand Grimoire.

“—and I did! I asked Taehyung to come over, that brat, always shirking from his responsibilities, but he said he’s in the middle of a basketball game? Can you believe him? I had asked him to a month ago, and he still managed to forget! Ugh, younger brothers. Anyway, it’s not like I can ask my parents because they’re dead.”

Surprised, you cut the theatrics and unwind into your natural form. “I mean, Old Reaper spares no one,” you chuckle, shooing away the clouds and lightning. “He’s kind of a nasty fellow, that one. Always so grumpy.”

The woman freezes, one hand in the midst of putting on a shoe. She turns around, stunned. “You changed.”

You frown. “Did you expect me to stay in that form forever? It’s actually quite energy-draining— I much prefer this one.” You look down at yourself, confirming that you’re in the correct form. “I mean, I can turn myself into a cat if you would like. Or an elephant, if you’re really feeling up for it. I would be quite loud, though.”

You’re not quite sure what humans do or do not know. Usually, summonings are quick and short, usually ending with you feasting on the souls of the summoners or the immediate banishing. But this isn’t the usual summoning; there are no teenage kids screaming for their mothers, nor men wrapped in capes who think they’ve found their calling.

A clatter draws your attention away from the woman and you find a toddler tucked away in a high chair. The child couldn’t have been more than two years old, teething on a strawberry with the remnants of its breakfast laid out in front of her. An oatmeal-covered spoon is on the ground next to the chair.

Stepping out from the pentagram, you wave your hand and the spoon flies off the ground and lands on the high chair. The child gurgles in delight, grabbing the spoon and throwing it off yet again.

“This child seems to lack intelligence,” you observe, spinning back to the woman. “Why would it throw the spoon back down? I thought you humans liked using them.”

The woman unfreezes with a start and continues putting on her shoes. “W-well, you know how toddlers are, always doing something you don’t want them to.” She adjusts herself before putting a hand on the doorknob. “I’ll be back in a few hours, it will be a very quick grocery trip. I just need some…peace.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You want me to look after your offspring?”

“Just for a bit. I’ll be back in a jiffy, alright?” She opens the door and steps out. “There’s food in the fridge for her, diapers are in the drawer under her crib. Just keep her unharmed and alive.”

And just like that, she’s gone and you’re left with a human baby with a distaste for spoons. You look at the child again in curiosity. Tight, chestnut curls are tied up in two pigtails and her chubby cheeks are stained with strawberry juice. You gently pull at a curl, watching it bounce back into place after you release.

The child notices this and places your finger into her mouth, gently gnawing on it while cautiously measuring your response.

“Silly child,” you reprimand gently, pulling your finger back. “That’s not food; if you eat my hand, you’ll get dysentery.”

You snap your fingers and conjure a little black binky for her to gnaw on instead. “Here.” You stuff the binky into the child’s mouth and after a bit of confusion, the toddler starts chewing on it contentedly.

A smirk crosses your face. “How curious. I wonder what else I could do to you…”

You sense the presence of another soul before you hear the jingling of keys. They’re inserted into the door, and it opens with a swing.

“Addie? I’m here— sorry about the wait, the game ran a little long…”

You observe the new figure, a man, clumsily take off his shoes and shove them in the shoe rack. He stumbles towards the living room, dropping a bag off by the couch.

“Addie?”

“Are you looking for the child?” you murmur. The man freezes.

“She’s in her jail,” you continue, floating down from your perch on the ceiling. “I suppose you would call it a crib. The child seemed to grow tired of our games, so I put her to sleep. Temporarily of course— I’m not the reaper.”

Softly landing on the carpet, you stare at the man’s shocked features, seemingly frozen in time. You tilt your head in confusion. “Well, don’t be too worried. She’ll wake up whenever she feels the need to. I just…coerced her into a nap. It’s not like I can do much else.”

You extend a hand. “You must be Taehyung. The tired woman mentioned you.”

Taehyung glanced down at your hand and slowly reached for it. Shaking it, he gulps, “Wh-what? Who?”

He points from your perch on the ceiling to you. “What?”

“Oh, that,” you wave towards your previous spot. “I’m just more comfortable that way. It’s usually how I lounge in Erebus but I thought it would make you too uncomfortable to see me like that.”

“Erebus?” He whispers. “Is that like…the underworld?”

You shrug. “Yes and no. It’s more like another dimension, really,” you say, inspecting his face. “You seem to be sweating. I forgot how temperamental humans are.”

You chuckle. “It's a little hot in here for you, isn’t it? I tend to run a little warm and the heat might be radiating into the room.”

A bead of sweat drips off Taehyung’s temples and he swipes at it, unfreezing himself. “Oh, I-I guess? I mean, now that you mention it, it’s a little warm.” He shakily looks you up and down. “What are you even? A demon? Oh my God there’s a fucking demon in Adeline’s house…”

“Ah, so Lily is the child,” you muse. “So Addie— or Adeline, I suppose— must be the mother.” Swooping past Taehyung, you ignore his noises of disbelief. Landing on the kitchen counter, you pour him a glass of water. “She’s in her jail, like I said.”

You beckon a chair to follow you, instructing it to sweep Taehyung into it. He’s pale as a sheet, scrambling onto the chair as he lands in front of you. You hand him the water. “Sip.”

He obeys, gulping down the water. After he finishes, you take the glass back while he looks at you warily.

“Why are you here?” he asks, clearly uncomfortable. “You’re not from this world, are you?”

“No, I’m not. Adeline summoned me to become her babysitter around an hour ago, and she simply left me with her offspring,” you snort. “You humans always do the funniest things.”

“Wait, what?”

“I mean, hey, good for her for summoning a blank demon— class III nonetheless! Very baby-safe, I can assure you.”

Taehyung’s brows furrow. “Addie…summoned you?”

“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” You chuckle. “At first I was as confused as you are right now, but she quite literally said ‘care for my baby, demon! I will be back’ and left,” you air-quote with your hands. “Said something about being unable to find a babysitter, and I was curious enough about the little one to stay for a while.”

“So you’re not…stuck here?”

“Well, no,” you roll your eyes. “I can leave whenever I want. Just how you can leave and enter a door,” you gesture towards the hall, “I can leave and enter this dimension. The summoning just thrusts me here against my will. I can go back whenever I want.”

“Oh.”

There’s a bit of a silence as Taehyung collects his thoughts. You listen to the buzz of the refrigerator and the quiet ‘tick-tocks’ of the grandfather clock down the hall; you’re surprised how soothing the monotonous noises are. Maybe the humans are onto something.

Glancing back at Taehyung, he seemed to relax a little. He fiddles with his hoodie string, gnawing at the end. “Wait so, you won’t hurt us? You said something about being baby-safe.”

You chuckle. “Yes, I’m very baby-safe. I’m a blank, class III demon. Blank— as in I haven’t developed into a specialty yet— and class III— meaning I’m equipped with the bare minimum of demonic powers.” You shrug. “So yeah, I can do things like make you fly or summon existing objects, but not much else. I’m more of a spirit, really. At least for now.”

“Huh.”

Suddenly, you sense a shift in the air and you glance over to the baby monitor on the fridge. Taehyung follows your gaze and jumps up. “Oh, Lily’s awake!”

He looks over at you, albeit a little warily, and slowly starts walking towards Lily’s room. “Don’t move,” he instructs, pointing a finger at you. “Or else.”

You put your hands up. “Alright,” you giggle. “How scary!”

Ironic.

Taehyung glares at you and disappears into the hall. He comes back a few minutes later carrying little Lily in his arm, one hand wiping the drool off of her face. Her eyes light up when she sees you.

“Puff!” she squeals, reaching for you with two hands. Taehyung holds her back, confused. She’s squirming in his arms, trying to peel away. She whines in annoyance.

You smile. “Yes, child. Puff.”

A wave of your hand conjures little soot sprites out of the air, the dust bunnies blinking in surprise. The jingle of their movements delight Lily, making her clap as they float down towards her. They scatter around her as she makes attempts to snatch them with her chubby hands. Taehyung keeps her just shy of doing so, though, and it frustrates her.

“What are they?” he asks, concerned. “Are they your pets or something?”

“They’re soot sprites,” you say softly, waving your hand again and they disappear. Perhaps you should’ve warned Taehyung. “They’re quite harmless, really. Usually residing in abandoned country homes, they’re magical creatures made of soot. They don’t do much but work and exist.”

Lily wails in dismay as the creatures disappear. You smile apologetically. “I was using them to entertain the child before you got here,” you explain, “which is how she’s so familiar with them. It got her a little dirty, but she seemed to like them enough.”

“Huh. Cool, I guess.”

You look over at Taehyung, a little surprised at his reaction. It seems like he’s opening up to some of your antics, which makes you smile a little.

“Do you mind if I conjure them again?” you ask. “For…Lily.”

You’re trying to get used to calling the child by her name.

He nods and places the child on the couch, where you bring the little sprites back. Lily’s eyes widen and she instinctively reaches for them as they float around, surprised once again.

You and Taehyung both watch her in a comfortable silence, but you can still hear Taehyung’s wheels turning.

“You know, you can just ask,” you start.

“Hm?”

You shrug. “I dunno. It’s not like you see a demon every day, let alone have a demon babysit your niece.”

He chuckles softly. “Yeah, I guess so. I’m just trying to process it a little, but I’m just glad you aren’t sent here to hurt us.”

“It’s not like I could if I wanted to, anyway,” you add. “It’s kind of a development-slash-hierarchy thing. Kind of like your version of puberty? Long story.”

Taehyung’s lips quirk up. “What do you mean?”

Before you can answer, though, you hear a jingling of keys and the woman from before swings the door open, shuffling her bags in. She looks around, eyes landing on you and Taehyung.

“Tae!” she exclaims while shutting the door. She turns back to face you two, walking towards the living room. “And…the demon…-ess? Demoness?”

“Demon is fine,” you affirm.

She smiles warily and turns her attention to Taehyung and slaps him on the shoulder.

“Ow,” he winces, “what was that for?”

“That,” she starts, swatting away the sprites and picking up her child, “is for neglecting your babysitting duties which ultimately led me to summon a demon.”

She glances at you. “No offense.”

“None taken.”

“But you summoned her yourself!” he splutters in defense. “Freedom of choice and everything—”

“Don’t even start,” she interrupts, glaring daggers.

You whistle. “This woman is scarier than me, Taehyung. I would watch out if I were you.” You glance at Adeline. “No offense.”

She winces. “None taken.”

“Well, it looks like my services here aren’t needed anymore,” you clap your hands and the soot sprites disappear. Lily frowns. “Not that it was something I expected, but it was kind of fun.”

Adeline turns to you and smiles softly. “Thank you for everything— I know it was a bit of an inconvenience, but I’m very glad that it turned out how it did. Please come back anytime you want.”

You laugh. “I’m not sure if I’ll take you up on your offer— I have a lot of training to do back in Erebus— but thank you anyway. Your offspring, Lily, was quite enjoyable.”

You wave to little Lily— who waves back— and you start walking towards the door for a more “natural” approach to leaving.

“Wait, hold on.”

You turn around and Taehyung catches up to you. “Are you never coming back?”

You shrug. “Unless there’s another summoning or if I have a personal reason to. Summonings are tricky, though, it’s a gamble on which demon you’ll get. It runs on an internal lottery system for all demons, so I wouldn’t bet on your chances.”

He deflates. “Ah.”

“Maybe you’ll see me, maybe you won’t.” You smile. “It was nice knowing you, though. I’ve learned more about humans today than I ever had at the academy.”

Taehyung furrows his brows in confusion, but before he has a chance to say anything, you’ve snapped your fingers and disappeared.

Like before, you let the winds whisk you back to Erebus and you enter with a pop, feet landing on the soft carpet of your room. Glancing at the window, you notice the blood moon starting to rise and your roommate stirs in her sleep.

Interesting, you think, shaking your head as your horns grow back. You touch them to make sure they’ve come out properly and your wings also make an appearance, the dainty gossamer erupting from your back as you stretch.

A sigh of relief leaves you as you settle into your own bed, thinking back at what happened. You’ll surely have to go to the Dean tomorrow to explain your absence, but it shouldn’t be something you’re punished for. These summonings are growing more common so quite a few students have been missing this week— but it’s not something the administration is worried about…yet.

You roll over to your side, remembering the look on the woman’s face. She was calm for a human— too calm maybe— when she summoned you. Grumbling in confusion, you think. Maybe they’re getting too comfortable with contacting the demonic dimension.

But you fondly remember how Taehyung’s reaction was much more standard, and you chuckle recalling his sheer fright at the concept of Erebus.

He almost reminded you of a puppy.

“How cute,” you murmur.

Yawning, you make a mental note to go to the mortal realm more often. It could do you some good.

Eyes heavy, you close them and everything goes black.

#bts fic #taehyung fic #taehyung ff #taehyung #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #taehyung x y/n #taehyung crack #taehyung bts #friends to lovers #taehyung f2l #f2l #taehyung smut #bts au #w: ss

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ryuichirou · 7 months ago

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Replies

But also some news!

First of all, I wanted to remind you that my pricelist will be updated by the end of the week, so please feel free to message me if you want to take a slot to commission me with my current prices!

Second of all, we got our twitter account back! We ended up deleting that one post that twitter didn’t like (yes, the one that doesn’t have anything explicit or any nudity on it), which obviously sucks, but at least now we can jump back to posting more or less regularly.

And now that this situation is over, I can say about the thing that honestly tickled me: the last person who wrote a callout post on me right before our acc got locked (=the person who very likely caused the massreporting in the first place) got accused of grooming a 13 y.o. and had their account terminated the very next day. What a great illustration of how the fandom climate works, right? Hilarious.

Alright, replies replies. Some about Fellow and Gidel, some about Rook, Idia, a little bit of Lilia and some miscellaneous asks.

Anonymous asked:

wait, Fellow is it a good idea for Gidel to write?? Isn't he illiterate?? (I might be wrong on the writing part, but I'm pretty sure Gidel is said to be unable to speak because he didn't get an education :(, r.i.p to the poor boy)

But look at it, Anon! He clearly writes, and like a typical doctor as well! A highly educated man!

(Yeah, Gidel doesn’t know how to write lol I am not sure if Fellow is super literate either… just like the characters they are inspired by lol)

Anonymous asked:

I want to bite Idia’s thighs but I also want to nibble Lilia’s legs courtesy of your pic of him in those delicious Playful Land tights 😩

(this is about a sketch from ko-fi)

They really are nibbleable… nibbable… one would want to nib on them. And Lilia knows that :(

Thank you <3

irregardlessly-tish asked:

Since you started posting Fellow art I said to myself "I guess I'm watching that event now so I can look at the art and think yeah, he would totally get gang banged by them" lol

Tish! You’re great as always lol I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Fellow is so breedable it’s insane. I can’t help it.

unofficialwheatdog asked:

I'm gonna snatch Fellow away from everyone

Like that my husband, he fluffiness mine and mine alone

Mwah mwah to Fellow I wove him and the way you draw him

he's too good for them but ruined enough for me(lol me in my possessive era)

Omg real possessive era lol I get it, he really is fluffy to the point of leaving one speechless. But please understand, these boys can’t hold back at all… :( Be kinder them, they can’t help it!

I’m glad you love how I draw him <3

Anonymous asked:

Curious, u do non con/ rape art?

Pls tag if yes, I wanna see

I do, but I also don’t remember any recent noncon piece to tag anything lol I am definitely not opposed to it, and a lot of our nsfw pieces have at least dub-con vibes. I guess that one general!Lilia/Idia piece comes to mind first! And octopus!Azul/Idia that I drew for the same zine…

Maybe it would be easier to look through my pixiv logs; all the nsfw pieces are usually closer to the end of the log.

Anonymous asked:

You know I never had interest in drawing nsfw, I started a fanart blog with the intent of just making cute/cool sfw pieces maybe some ship stuff. However I am sick and tired of watching the twst fandom affect the mental health of my friends. And I know at least one of my ships will be threatened even if they just hold hands.

So here’s my plan: if I start receiving hate I will make an announcement: if I reach a particular milestone of hate I will learn to draw nsfw. I will make them kiss harder. Harass me and I will become worse.

Fr tho I want to be the brave idiot in the hope that others won’t feel alone.

Sorry for the late reply! Anon, you are already brave lol I like your plan. Become worse to spite them! And to support everyone who is harassed. And to have fun of course.

I wish you and your friends and anyone else didn’t have to worry about being harassed because of your ships. So please, take care of yourself, but also? Fuck them; draw and post whatever you want to make yourself and your friends happier and enjoy the fandom experience that you and your friends create.

Anonymous asked:

"something's missing..." might be your shirt rook, idk tho 🤔

(this is about this drawing)

Oh no, he forgot his shirt again. And no one at Savanaclaw is brave enough to tell him.

Anonymous asked:

I remember that Savannaclaw Rook only cut his hair with a knife, soooo, yeah. How do you think first year Rook would respond to first year Idia and vice versa?

Honestly it looks like it lol He and Lilia have something in common…

We love first year Rook with first year Idia so much, Anon, you have no idea! And Rook/Idia in general, this is one of the things that I really want to draw properly at least once. For now we only have sketches…

But to answer your question! I like to think that Rook was very intrigued by Idia right away; of course Idia isn’t a beastman, but he is not only super bright and shiny-looking (unusual! Interesting!), but also is a very rare pokemon to see. It’s very easy to picture Rook getting excited and charmed by him, maybe he even had a period of a little obsession~ But of course none of this is in any way returned by Idia; to him being suddenly surrounded by so many loud and annoying people his age is already stressful enough, but Rook is somehow worse than all of them combined. He hates everyone from Savanaclaw, but they’re usually just rude jerks, but Rook? If only he was a rude jerk…

Anonymous asked:

Chen’ya, are you flashing people on purpose? What are you gonna do if someone likes it?

(related to this post)

Knowing Che’nya, he’ll probably disappear lol Never let them guess your next move. They liked it? Too bad. They didn’t like it? Oh too bad… >:3

Sometimes he is in a flirty mood though~

Anonymous asked:

I’m surprised Lilia doesn’t also spank Idia to punish him

He really should, and his spanks wouldn’t be as murderous as Azul’s! Idia is going to receive punishment AND survive!

I can picture Lilia stopping mid-spank with the realisation though: oh right, this isn’t his kid, this is Idia…

Anonymous asked:

(tw: self-harm)

this might be a bit dark but i’m curious: do you think idia self-harms? every now and then, i see ppl draw him with SH scars. i’ve never been able to decide if it feels like him or not. punishing himself, hating himself, wanting to control this one aspect of his life bc he can’t control anything else sound like idia, but also, being too resigned, lazy, or phobic of pain also sound like idia… little nutjob he is 😒 thoughts?

This is such a good question, Anon. It’s honestly still kind of easy to imagine him doing that. He punishes himself constantly, and while I don’t think this is necessarily about control, this absolutely could be about wanting to make himself feel even worse or to distract himself from the other kind of deep pain he’s feeling. Since we’re talking about a character here, as an artist I can also add that seeing him this way could be aesthetically pleasing, there are some very good artworks with this theme.

That being said, we usually tend to think that Idia wouldn’t do that. I agree that Idia being phobic of pain sounds very like him, but also? He is very detached from the physical side of things in general, I think. He would rather torment himself mentally.

Another reason for Idia and selfharm not really working in our heads is that I don’t think Ortho would let him. He is very sensitive to changes in his health condition after all.

#replies

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altocat · 2 months ago

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cheese anon!

I’m here with some food offerings from my friends house for the firsts + Lazard, Kunsel and Cloud!

It was my friends birthday, and we ate dinner at her house, so there was loads of foods because there were many of us who have different tastes (and allergies)!

For Genesis, I offer the apple pie that I baked! Despite being unable to have it myself, those who did have it told me that it was sweet, but not too sweet and very tasty!

For Sephiroth, I offer some of the Lactose Free Mi Goreng ramen! I say lactose free because it was lactose free, but it was still tasty!

For Angeal… I offer some lasagna! Lactose free (I could surprisingly eat lots of things at the party :D) , and the tastiest lasagna I’ve ever eaten.

For Zack. My child, I must offer you some of the sweets. Yes, yes, I know that Angeal is like ‘not a lot of sweets’ but shhhhhhhh >:D

For Cloud…. Hmm…. How about some of the merengue? Hm…. Lol.

For Lazard / the Lizard man: The adults had some wine and stuff so I’m giving him that.

For Kunsel…. Chicken tendies. There weren’t many, and they were only for that one person who is allergic to everything and it’s so annoying to cook for him 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And for you, Alto! Some cookies!

YESSSSSSSS FOOD BLESS YOU CHEESE ANON

Genesis generously compliments you on your pie, and even offers helpful tricks to really give the apple flavor a zest.

Sephiroth is not picky at all when it comes to food (have you SEEN the stuff Shinra is feeding him?) and is always down for his beloved noodles. He casually slurps that shit in the background and looks content.

Angeal LOVES lasagna (is he Garfield???) and happily compares it to the one he and his mom used to make together. He has to ward off Sephiroth because the latter keeps trying to snatch a bite.

Zack took one bite of your offering and is currently moonwalking on the ceiling. This is why Angeal says NO SUGAR SEADFGFD.

Cloud is the QUIETEST eater ever btw. Literally eating food in quiet, neat little bites while everyone else causes chaos in the background.

Lazard takes one look at the wine and wonders if this differs at all from his REGULAR dining schedule dealing with these idiots. Your offering is basically breakfast.

Kunsel thanks you for your humble offering of tendies and spends twenty minutes trying to squeeze them through his helmet. Tendie crumbs all over the floor.

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #sephiroth #crisis core #angeal hewley #genesis rhapsodos #zack fair #cloud strife #lazard deusericus #kunsel #final fantasy vii

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onlyancunin · 7 months ago

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5 comfort characters

@judasiskariot tagged me and for that I thank you, darling! 🖤

It's gonna be a doozy so unless someone's really interested, feel free to skip. And yes, all my "comfort characters" have themes of trauma and revenge.

Astarion Ancunin - I think my url might've given it away; his story resonates with me in terms of struggling with intimacy post sa and experiencing the isolating loneliness that comes along with trauma incomprehensible for others. And also the world is a vile place and I say let it burnnn, baby! I must say I really had to think long and hard about the rest, but judging by what I like to come back to when in stress:

Dean Winchester - resonating with the trauma and/or complicated feelings coming from being the older sibling that's supposed to "save" the younger one, despite being unable to. And having a thing for drinking and/or isolating myself when the troubles hit. Also my 11 yo cat is literally called Cas lmao, he's equal part apex predator and fluffy dum dum, just like the original.

V from "V for Vendetta" - I wish I could spend my life meticulously plotting and flawlessly executing a plan of elaborate revenge on my past abusers. I feel like that would give me the kick, lol. This + the "inch of ourselves" quote was literally a theme for my therapy for years, while I was looking for my own identity panicking I've been destroyed to the last: "Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all that we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch, we are free… An inch; it is small, and it is fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away; we must never let them take it from us.”

Lisbeth Salander (Millennium book series, "Girl with the dragon tattoo") - a woman who single-handedly made me dream of working remotely in IT and living independently. And of course one day I'll make my abuser pay the exact same way she did - and I already have the tattoo needle, eyyy! Proud to say after years and years I finally get to live in a single-bedroom studio place and spend my days developing code, even if just in a junior position for now. The next step is to live somewhere with palm trees, just like she did in the books. After the fucker gets his tat, of course. Bonus points for being neurodivergent and blatantly unapologetic about it. And getting her heart crushed because no matter how big the gesture, most will mostly pick the "normal" over the freak.

Jessica Jones - a little similar to Lisbeth, but with Marvel twist and way more psychotic opponent. I've just started watching his series recently and it's ripping my soul in hundreds of directions, even evoking a bit of my Stokholm Syndrome. And to have such strength as a woman! Makes me wonder what kind of use I'd actually make of it, given the chance. Would I actually go the hero route? The vigilante? Or just amuse myself with continuous torture of those who wronged me?

Who would've known, out of the whole bunch, Astarion seems like the most cheerful character lmao.

I'd like to no-pressure tag: @treshmind, @thedomesticanthropologist, @night-orchids, @thatdangeroussmile

#tag game #personal

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lxstfathier · 2 years ago

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Closer

Axe Woves x Reader

Summary: there’s nothing you crave more than having your own family with Axe, the love of your life. Luckily, he feels the same about you, so it’s time to start working on it.

Warnings: Oral (M! receiving), breeding kink, rough sex, choking, slapping, slight degradation, creampie, porn without plot.

A/N: i wanted to read some smut with Axe but literally no one is writing for him?? I mean, come on, he’s hot af??? And since i couldn’t find anything i had to do it myself lol. So, here it is, a small fic for y’all to enjoy <3. (And please, remember that English is not my first language, so there might be some errors).

“Someone’s eager today, huh?” Axe says, a huge smirk on his face as he sees you drop to your knees and start working on his belt and flight suit, freeing his cock in a matter of seconds.

He’s hard as a rock and already leaking precum, so you stroke it a few times before opening your mouth and licking his tip, enjoying the salty taste of it. That makes him groan, unable to control himself anymore, tangling one of his hands in your hair to push you down, forcing you to take him further.

You gag when his cock reaches the back of your throat, but he gently slaps your cheek a few times to stop you from doing it.

“Take it like a good girl” he speaks in a low voice, fighting the urge to fuck your mouth.

His words go straight to your cunt, making you feel even more horny and desperate, so you take one of your hands between your thighs, sliding your fingers on your wet folds and rubbing your clit, all while you start to bob your head up and down, taking his length the best you can as you look at him with big doe eyes.

“Such a needy little slut” Axe growls. “Touching yourself like a bitch in heat…What made you this desperate, hm?”

You know exactly what. You’re ovulating, and the only thing that you could think about since you woke up was him, his love, his attention, his rough hands all over your body, his thick veiny cock. And there was nothing that you craved more than his seed deep in your womb, claiming you as his forever.

That’s why you got all naked and ready as soon as you heard him come back home after a long mission. But you can’t tell him that, not when your mouth is full and you’re trying not to gag again.

Still, Axe expects an answer, so he yanks you by your hair, getting you off him and raising an eyebrow, waiting for you to speak.

“I need you to breed me” you whimper. “Please”

He smirks again and his brown eyes go black, filled with lust, as if that’s all he wanted to hear.

“Is that what you need? You should have told me sooner, cyar’ika, i’ve always wanted to ruin that perfect little body of yours”.

You both had been married for a couple of months, but you never brought up the subject of having a family of your own. You thought he didn’t want kids. You thought he was cool with just looking after Ragnar for a while. But now that you know that he actually wants to make it a clan of three, your arousal becomes unbearable, sending shivers down your spine.

Without wasting a second, Axe lifts you up and effortlessly throws you on the bed, keeping your legs open with his hands and positioning between them. Usually he eats you out first, but you awakened his primal side and the only thing he wants right then and there is to fuck you like a cheap whore until he cums inside.

So he slaps his cock against your clit a few times, your hips squirming at the sensation, and he finally slides in, stretching you open at the same time that he takes his right hand to your neck.

“Fuck” Axe breathes out. “So fucking tight. So fucking perfect for me”.

You let out a few cries. It was always a bit difficult to adjust to his big size, but once you get used to the feeling, Axe starts moving, thrusting slowly while squeezing your neck.

That’s until he can’t control himself anymore and his thrusts grow stronger, deeper and faster, using you like his own personal fleshlight, abusing your poor hole and hitting your cervix every time, letting out some pleasure filled grunts.

“M’gonna fill you up so good, cyar’ika. Pump you full of cum like the whore that you are, making sure you get knocked up”.

That’s enough to make your body tense and the knot in your stomach grow tighter. You orgasm is near, and you can almost feel it already.

“Fuck, Axe, i’m close” you whine, knowing that you can’t hold it any longer.

“Then go ahead baby, cum all over my fucking cock” he says, leaning in closer to kiss you passionately, his cold beskar chest plate scraping against your hard nipples.

It’s all too much. Your orgasm takes over your body, shaking and squirming in pure bliss under his weight, moaning into his mouth, your walls clenching hard around him. And axe can’t take it anymore, you feel way too good, so he gives a few more shallow thrusts and finds his own release, cumming deep inside you, flooding your womb with thick ropes of cum.

You both stay there afterwards, melted into each other, riding out your highs while sloppy kissing, too tired to move.

“Fuck” Axe says, braking the kiss, trying to catch his breath again. “You’re gonna look so beautiful carrying my child”.

You just smile at him, tracing his jaw with your fingertips, so in love with the brown eyed man who just made you see stars, knowing that he might not be the easiest one, but he’ll try to be the best father and husband of them all.

#axe woves x reader #axe woves smut #Star Wars smut

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ellecdc · 7 months ago

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okay no pressure in answering this at all if you’re not comfortable but i’ve been having many Thoughts lately and i wanted to share them with somebody but nobody ik will listen and you’re my favorite blog

i’m on summer break from college right now which means i don’t have a constant stream of Things To Do, so i have a lot of free time, which i usually spending thinking about the marauders (guilty)

but since i’ve been home (abt 3 weeks) ive been getting super overwhelmed in the fandom, not bc of anybody but because i have so much Love for content. like i love the fandom so much and i love fics and fanart and edits and stuff like that, and i don’t think i have a limit

i feel like i spend too much time engaging in the community, or even just thinking about characters (primarily the Noble House of Black lol) and i don’t get me wrong, i love it so much, but almost to a point where it’s overwhelming and i get emotional randomly and sometimes i feel like that’s not normal?

like i feel like i might be genuinely addicted - i haven’t gone a day without opening ao3/tumblr/tiktok to see fandom content in a very long time and as much as i love to embrace that fact, i can’t figure out why that scares me so much

i hope this makes sense. i just needed to tell somebody because im starting to feel like something is wrong with me lol

like i said, no need to respond if you don’t feel comfortable. i just wanted to put it into words

I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with liking something ‘so’ much and being so invested in something as long as it’s not taking away/affecting the rest of your life?

If you’re still able to take care of yourself physically (showering, eating, sleeping, cleaning), and if you’re still able to enjoy your personal and social life (going to work/school etc, hanging with friends, engaging with family members), and it’s not hurting anyone (yourself or loved ones), then what’s the harm?

I literally cannot think about canon at all, I was telling my mutual this the other day - they’d asked me what my other mutuals told me about ATYD because they were thinking of reading it and I told them and literally felt sick to my stomach thinking about it afterwards 😅 like no, perhaps that’s not ‘normal’ but that’s also why I’m in fanfiction? I can’t watch TV shows or movies because I get too emotional and too invested that I can’t handle anything angsty or sad. So I spend time in fanfiction to kind of “fix” it for me, and it makes me happy!

When I was in my first degree probably ~19, I was going through a hard time and would go for walks with my dog like 3 times a day for almost 45mins-1.5 hours each time (so walking almost 3 hours out of the day) just so I could escape my present reality and live in my little daydreams I created for myself. I became so reclusive and was over exerting myself, under eating, not socializing and started getting emotional because I preferred my daydreams to my current reality

Sometimes that’s life saving for people so I am an advocate for people doing what they need to do to get by - BUT - for me, that’s when it became unhealthy

So no, i don’t think liking/loving fanfic “too much” is abnormal (maybe it is but then we’re all freaks here) and i don’t think it’s unhealthy unless you’re unable to care for yourself otherwise

#ask elle

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popcornfairy28 · 8 months ago

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Voiceteam is done! (and I'm back from my trip)

I somehow overestimated how good the internet would be on my trip, as I could not connect to Tumblr at all. It was just BLANK. I managed somehow to post to AO3 for my last few podfics, so I guess I'll share them here. I might have a couple of links left to share from all that, but I'll share them when I get them.

I sang literally only a tiny bit for our Pink Panda Bandits theme song for round 3. I was so busy recording other filks, that I won't be able to post until I get permission from the writers, because we needed it for our mod dare this round. So I've got a bunch of unedited podfics recorded sitting around that I planned on finishing but instead just sang for most of my points lol.

2. For Amnesty, originally for round 1 I had podded another @ligercat fic called A Dog's Duty: (I may have been purposefully picking easier-looking ones for starting out...but they were still so fun!)

3. Another that I ended up posting for Amnesty that was originally for round 1 was a Merlin fic that I was recommended to pod written by @schweetheart called: the course of true love (never did run smooth). This so far was the longest podfic I have done, at about 23 minutes...which admittedly doesn't sound very long but before this one I'd only done ones less than 10 minutes long LOL. It was a fun challenge to stretch myself that way though, and the fic was a delight.

Alrighty, now I should probably go to bed but I probably won't because while I'm absolutely exhausted I'm also still exhilarated from the day and driving, so maybe I'll write??? I was utterly unable to work on the Chesterton Challenge Prompts since I couldn't access Tumblr and hadn't listed them. Plus I just didn't generally write because the conference I went to was a little bit different than I was expecting (even though I've gone two times before). People were more social with me and wanting to talk with me and spend time with me just generally, so I couldn't go hide in a corner and write as easily. Which it is great that I got to go talk to real people face to face, but it is kinda a bummer that I got so little free time. I am definitely looking forward to introverting for the next couple of days after extraverting so much...

#voiceteam #podfic #pnf #phineas and ferb #bbc merlin

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theoldworldsrunnerup · 8 months ago

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dear mootie I read your post and I'm sorry you feel that way :'( I don't really care that much what people will think about me for posting soichello but I see where you're coming from and it sucks, it's not right. Fandom should be the place ppl go to have fun not get bullied or bully others. I've also sort of ridiculed the ship (& myself for enjoying it) at times but only jokingly.. like, that's lowkey part of the package for me, and I thought it was the same for other shippers too. I never considered it might've influenced others negatively, and if that's the case I wanted to apologize. I hope this situation gets better for you, honestly i don't see how anyone could be mad at you, deprecation or otherwise.. liking stuff, even niche ass things, is not the problem, the 'climate' on the internet is.

Anyway, just know that if u want I have soichello art and bad memes ready send and I'm down to talk abt those two absolutely whenever ok? Ofc u don't have to answer this but lmk c: (Also sorry I'm like. physically unable to send asks off anon💀 hope you don't hate me💀💀)

Omg hi um. I’m not quite sure how to respond to this, but first of all: thank you. I actually really appreciate this. Like I don’t think I could put into words how much I appreciate this.

I feel like I should say that I do make fun of practically every pairing I ship. It, too, is apart of the package for me like it is for you. I guess the problem with what I tend to do with soichello is kind of like. Clinging onto the irony of it/ridiculing it to the point where I actually feel mean. I’ve never taken anyone else making fun of the pairing to heart (because, taking everything about them in canon into consideration, it is objectively a little ridiculous), but I suppose I’m so aware of the fact that I have the potential to make others feel negatively that I take what I say to heart, and feel so much more horrible (And in the end I kind of attempt to balance the deprecation so that I negatively affect as little people as possible. I know you can’t please everyone but goddamn do I try 😭😭). But anyways I doubt you’ve negatively impacted anybody, reflecting on the post a day later I think this was just me being paranoid tbh.

It’s been super hard for me to unlearn the shame I have surrounding certain interests of mine, but seeing other people enjoy them makes it so much easier.

PLEASE feel free to send me art/memes/anything soichello related literally whenever. I should mention that I am absolutely AWFUL in one on one conversations and am like. Almost physically incapable of initiating conversations myself (this also ties into my fear of being perceived negatively lol). But if it means I get to talk about them I will try so very hard.

(Also don’t worry about the anon thing, I totally get it!! I usually default to anon myself (although it depends on what the ask is/why I’m sending it), and I definitely don’t hate you.)

#ask

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candyfloss-esophagus · 1 year ago

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CRYING WOLF FOR ASK GAME!!!! GIMME ALL THE INFORMATION!!!!

Okay I'm just gonna spam you with asks here so feel free to ignore them if it's too much <3

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 (don't think I've forgotten about the post you made mentioning an alternate ending! 👀👀👀) 10, 11, 13, 14 and 15

Hope this isn't too much! (like I said feel free to ignore these if that's the case!)

I remember you mentioned something about making a lore post about stuff that didn't get put in the fic and maybe you could combine them? If you still feel like making it that is <3 (seriously I still love that fic so much!!!!)

Alright buckle up boys this is gonna get LONG. @voidpants since you sent me an ask with a couple of these in, I'll combine them here <3

This probably goes without saying but there are extreme spoilers for crying wolf below the cut

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way? My recent obsession with vivisection, dissection and cannibalism <33 I know I'm very good at falling into stereotypes and I'm your local transmasc butch unhealthily obsessed with cannibalism <33333

The noirpunk server did, in all honesty. I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

2: What scene did you first put down? The very first scene! I write generally chronologically, unless there's something I'm raring to get down!

3: What’s your favorite line of narration? He pulls back, unable to staunch the hysterical giggles building in his chest, and they tumble free like the intestines of a mutilated fox at the side of a road -- all bloody ropes thick with mucus.

I just like this comparison lol. A close second would be the line about Peter's organs being better to eat than the pigeon.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? “Oh, I know you’re on the square, doll. I don’t think you’ve ever lied to me.”

I really love this line because I love blatant foreshadowing. But also because in the previous line, Hobie really wasn't lying (as is shown later on).

5: What part was hardest to write? The scene directly before the first cannibalism scene. I'm never too sure how to draw it out and build the tension in the proper way and I'm not entirely too sure I managed it.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics? It's absolutely dripping with paranoia, a lot of what is drawn from my own paranoia (where are my insane babes at ik we're around here somewhere). And also it's one of my most violent fics. Didn't tend to write it before now but I'm really enjoying messing around with it now!

7: Where did the title come from? I was brainstorming with myself after I told the people in the discord that I would try to write something approximating what we'd cooked up together and it took a while (probably about half an hour) before I hit on the story of the boy who cried wolf.

In this context, the boy crying wolf is Peter, whose spider senses are so fucked up that he tends to ignore them when he implicitly trusts people -- which means that when that person isn't in their right state of mind, he dismisses any notion that there might be something wrong.

Simultaneously, the crying wolf is Hobie, who is by far the more dangerous one of them, having been possessed by an actual murderous cannibalistic alien, but who is in much more denial about it. (Literally in the scene where he kills and eats Peter, he refuses to accept what's happened, whereas Peter just told him that it was going to be okay. Both of them are Fucked Up okay.)

Anyway this was a long-winded way of saying that it came from a children's story lol

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it? Yeah!!! In the early days of the noirpunk discord server, we were chucking around the vague idea of symbiote Hobie, throwing out a few vignette scenes and pieces of dialogue, and it was so compelling to me that I said I'd take a crack at it, so here we are! Thanks guys!

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic? AHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHA

Yes. I have an alternate ending kicking around in my head at the moment that I'll probably start with once I'm finished with whumptober and another couple of things I've promised people I'll do </3 the adhd is real you guys

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story? UM?? BECAUSE NOIRPUNK????????

Because this idea was thought up in the noirpunk server with noirpunk in mind and it would have been a disservice to write this pairing as anything other than noirpunk. And also I wanted to give Peter more cannibalism trauma. And at the moment noirpunk is the only thing keeping me sane (which I mean in a very real and worrying way. We ball.)

11: What do you like best about this fic? I got to write cannibalism under the guise of love :>

Also very proud that I came up with the acronym for the D.O.R.M.A.N.T symbiotes

12: What do you like least about this fic? Um. Am I allowed to say my writing. If not, then I know there are plotholes and pieces of lore about the worlds and the symbiotes that don't make sense. Consider: I wanted to write cannibalism.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading? I listened to a lot of Tunng, Troy Kingi and Arab Strap!!

Mostly from Tunng I was listening to a lot of their album Dead Club and out of those were my favourites of Eating the Dead, Man and also Woman (the last two of which are spoken word poems but I choose to treat them as music because they are <333)

Troy Kingi specifically Sleep (Slumber), First Take Strut, and No Reason to 2nd Guess M.G.

Arab Strap specifically The Turning of our Bones, Here Comes Comus! and The Fable of the Urban Fox.

Sleep (Slumber) was looped specifically for scenes where I needed them to be soft with each other. The Turning of our Bones was looped specifically for the cannibalism. Please watch the music video (don't if you're sensitive to gore) because it's actually one of my favourite things in the world.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic? HUNGER AS A METAPHOR FOR DEVOTION. or there might just be a parasite eating your brain lol

Just kidding. Hm. Sometimes we go through something in our lives that's horrific. And we're trying to process it and not getting anywhere because it's so huge that our brains can't wrap themselves around it. Most of the time, we start to convince ourselves that it's us at the core of the problem. Sometimes we are. But to peel back the layers and get to the actual center, there are almost always outside forces that influence us into certain behaviours/choices that we regret later. And that's part of being human!

I'm not saying that you have a parasite in your brain that's making you eat your romantically inclined partner. I'm saying that the love shown in crying wolf is a relatively equal balance of give and take. They try to be as their worlds have shown them that love is, they're unlearning some of the more detrimental things, they're learning and growing together. They take steps back from each other when they need to and try to navigate their situations as well as they can. Idk.

Forgiveness is probably one of the main themes here. Please be gentle with yourself. It's so so important that you are.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic? That I really enjoy writing cannibalism. And that I need to watch a hell of a lot of 30s nyc films and 70s london films because I STILL don't have their turns of phrases down and it's annoying me.

And to take the leap (haha itsv references). This fic was very overwhelming for me at first because I don't tend to write very fast-paced or violent stuff. But I really enjoy reading it and so I really wanted to write it! Even if it isn't that great, I had a blast writing it!

Thank you for sending this ask in!! It's been really good to look past the writing into the inner mechanics of what makes it tick! (And I promise that I'll have that lore post up sometime!! I have not forsaken you!)

Edit: just realised you skipped 12 in your request but in my defence I'm not wearing my glasses and sort of assumed you asked about everything whoops

#sorry about the lack of life on my writing fronts at the moment #life's thrown me a good few curveballs recently #i am but a small lad <3 #esophagus speaks #ask game #ask answered #fiepige #voidpants #crying wolf #hobie brown #peter benjamin parker #noirpunk #atsv #on writing #behind the scenes with esophagus

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aprillikesthings · 10 months ago

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OKay gotta distract myself from constantly refreshing my fic and staring at numbers, by continuing my spop rewatch

If you're new here: I'm rewatching all of She-Ra for fic writing purposes, and live-blogging it, with too many screenshots. None of this is spoiler-free. I make a lot of jokes and talk about my life and make references to other shit.

Also, I find Catra's villainy to be kinda hot (okay more than just kinda hot)

s4 ep1 the coronation

"April did you rewatch the Portal scene again"

Yes, because that's where I left it paused, mind your own business

OKAY so I remember this from the first time I watched it, like, four years ago--that of all the emotional stuff this show gets 100% correct, I'm not sure Glimmer's grief over her mother is all that accurately portrayed. She just seems to "get over it" too fast?

By which I mean: yes, it's the focus of this episode, but that's basically it.

When my dad died--and keep in mind I'd been no contact for six months, I'd already done most of my grieving for him!--I was so out of it I couldn't even read anything longer than a few paragraphs for multiple months. All my writing basically screeched to a halt. And Glimmer likes her mom!

BUT tbh I keep remembering someone pointing out that each season covers WAY more time than I originally assumed. Because the first time I watched this I assumed we were like, literally a week or two after the events at the end of s3. It's probably closer to several months. And that makes way more sense.

Also who else is confused as to what "princess" and "queen" even mean in this universe, like there are several princesses who are clearly in charge of their kingdoms? is just when their parents DIE that they become queens? if so wtf is wrong with Frosta's parents "lol you're eight now, time for you to be in charge of literally everything, and you'll never see us again"??

okay but literally did they only ask Mermista to do the flowers as a joke bc I am literally sad for her now :(

There she is!!! 😍

Also I read some (old) commentary from Nate about why her hair is flatter this season and nooooooo

oh hey remember that you tied up Adora

okay do you remember this specific time you tied up Adora lolol

"Don't talk about my ex-girlfriend!!! it's a very sensitive topic *sobs*"

Glimmer's coronation robe is so great. I wonder if, like IRL ones, it's made out some insanely hard-to-get fur and weighs approximately five tons.

The line delivery of "BOW! CALM DOWN!" made me laugh so hard I had to play it for other people and then watch it again.

"Power changes people"

Not everyone is like you!!! >:(

(if anything, responsibility is more likely to change Glimmer)

poor bb

it's Entrapta's little naked mole rat robot!! which is also somehow also a squeaky toy??

Scorpia wants SO BAD to find a way to see Catra as not a terrible person

the robot didn't deserve that

"Don't talk about my ex-girlfriend!!! it's a very sensitive topic *sobs*" (pt 2)

Scorpia is such a cinnamon roll

Adora literally only owns like three outfits. And this is her "nice dress."

Bow's dad's!!

Also this is framed so much like a wedding, even the music is wedding-ish

I'M NOT SAYING A DAMN THING ABOUT THIS

A FRIEND

okay maybe not

I'm sticking with my theory that this is several months after the end of s3 which means she's been like this (unable to teleport) for a while

Yeah, people have discussed this a great deal, re: grief: most people want to talk about the people they've lost, if you give them a safe time/place to do it. You don't have to avoid the subject.

;_;

I once again ask myself: where were you keeping the sword this whole time lolol

NICE (Glimmer put the fancy lantern into the little niche for it)

Aziraphale? Is that you?

IT'S SO CUTE

I wonder when Angella recorded this

YEAH!

where did you get the new outfit 2. isn't your other arm cold 3. she's fucking purring

She says this the exact same way she says "Hey, Adora" and I went "EUGGGH" out loud

Some people were like, "oh, her redemption arc in s5 was so rushed" and meanwhile I'm like, "I wish they'd made her deranged and mean a little longer, actually. For Reasons."

Anyway I've run out of images unless I reblog the post, SO: she yanks the little crystal thing Entrapta made out of Hordak's suit so he collapses and then taunts him with the knowledge that Horde Prime is not gonna be happy to find out he can't even subdue the Rebellion, basically puts herself in charge, end of episode

WOOOOO

#april rewatches spop #the coronation

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justjasper · 1 year ago

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I appreciate your more nuanced take on Spencer's characterization, specially as a autistic person myself 🤝🏼 I hope that you don't mind me putting my own two scents on the conversation (and if you do feel free to ignore this ask entirely lol) : while I am not a big fan of the woobification many autistic coded (mostly) male characters go through in fandoms- I can see kinda in this case where it is coming from. Putting aside the actors more soft-spoken performance and literal permanent puppy-eyes- he tends to....de-escalate things when someone else it's upset, often by lowering his head and murmuring an apology or just looking overall umconfortable instead of bitting back (case in point: that confrontation he had with J.J he had in season 10.)I remember he downright said in season 4 that "men like him don't like conflict" and I strongly believe that is the case since, like mentioned, would rather step back that argue with a fellow teammate, which can be viewed as an more submissive approach....

However it all change when he is on what I call, his self-defense mood. When he is more combative and even snappy (bitchy) toward others is when he himself is struggling through....whatever really. Hell what is awarded as his coolest moment was when he felt the most decieved and betrayed ("This is calm and it's doctor") and even THEN, when confronted about what was really bothered he would rather let out an little not-nice remake and flee the scene.

And then there is the third facet where he is just doing his job and takes no bullshit whatsoever because there are literal lives at the line (my favorite gotta be in season 8 when he is with this camera corp guys and he goes "most people don't read your contract- I am not most people") that is where he can be on his coldest/most detached- er most of the time.

But because of his (proudly admitted by himself lol) need to evade direct conflict- either by just steeping back when someone is upset and tells him off or when he is upset, tells someone off and flees the scene I can SEE why he is generally see as more of a submissive person that he actually is- well that, and again, overall physical presentation and *vague gesturing* all the whump.

My point is- that I think that Spencer is a really fascinating character to study because even though he tries to remain polite and rarely actually raises his voice he seems allergic to confront things head up and even WANT to solve them when upset (and has some of the funniest roasts at this show) and, as TvTropes states "can misses sarcasm and irony, but isn't sure unable to use it" and while I NORMALLY would side eye the Tv screen for portraying an very clearly ND character as someone that primary go-to when upset is to....do an tantrum (that frame where everyone is on court in 7x1 sitting all serious and stuff and he is sitting....like that it's just glorious) I DO think that Spencer would had turned out like this regardless- he was Parentified after all. His apparently inability to push an upsetting subject when told off (there are exceptions when he actually puts his foot down ofc course but even then it normally takes several rounds -13x15-) and his more than volite and...well, unmature responses to say, loss, and overall poor emotional Management are to be expected of someone that pretty much, raised himself. Intelligentually above his peers, emotionally- it's complicated.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!

#spencer reid

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marthfador · 8 months ago

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Reminder that if you can't get the energy or mindset together to do literally anything but one single thing during the day, make that thing cleaning your teeth. One way or another. Even if it's just a swish with mouthwash or a quick dry brush. Take care of your dang teeth.

Broke? Imagine how much more broke you'll be when one of your teeth snaps in half and you have to have some emergency dental work! Imagine living with teeth rotting so badly that it hurts to eat anything- do you think you can get the nutrition you need plus being able to afford being picky about what you eat? If you're too tired to brush your teeth, do you think you'll suddenly develop the energy to cook everything you ever eat down into mush you'll be able to gum down to avoid dental pain?

Not to even mention the emotional toll of just having bad teeth. If you've ever looked in a mirror and thought "um my teeth look a little yellow :/" or w/e, now imagine them rotting out of your head and looking in the mirror. Then just the emotional toll of being in constant pain, being unable to eat things and fully enjoy them, etc etc. Then of course let's not forget the perception of others. We don't want to think about how people judge on appearance, but they do! If you're applying for a job you really need, will you feel confident with rotten teeth? Do you think that will have an effect on how the hiring manager may see you? Something else to consider!

I know that upkeep of anything at all can be taxing. If you're already struggling to keep alive, it feels like such a chore to do anything else at all, but believe me that it's something that'll be better for you in the long run! Dental issues are perhaps one of the most expensive issues to have! A lot of work places offer some sort of health insurance these days, but not all include dental! Just the fact dental insurance is separate on its own should be a clue!!

Again- do what you can. Ideally? Brushing, flossing, mouthwash. Don't feel like you can manage the effort? Try at least swishing a couple times with mouthwash. Hate brushing in general for texture? I've heard others recommend a washcloth! I used to have 'travel toothbrushes' that were basically toothpasted-up sponges on a stick that were actually pretty pleasant to chew on lol. Hate the taste of toothpaste? There's plenty of other flavors out there, plus even tooth powder for those that hate the texture! (There's actually kids toothpastes with just as much fluoride and whatnot as adult toothpastes and taste much nicer! I use Mio and so far have tried their orange mint and sakura flower flavors and they help my tooth sensitivity!!) While I haven't had as much luck with adult mouthwashes that don't taste gnarly, the kids mouthwashes are just as well! Remember going for alcohol-free to reduce burn! Hate flossing? Try another way! I personally find the picks easier to use, but even then I'm not fond of flossing so I got myself a water pik. It gets gunk out from between my teeth plus massages my gums! (Actually what made me think of this post- my gums are sensitive since I've not pik'd in a while and bled some when I tried again tonight! Oop! It really is SO EASY to fall behind!)

All in all- don't skimp out on taking care of your teeth! They don't come back!! If you can, talk to your dentist about any and all reservations you may have and they'll help you try to find ways to keep your teeth healthy. If you can't, talk to friends and find forums online to see if anyone else has found solutions to similar issues! Literally, if you do only one single thing in a day, make it taking care of your teeth!!!

#okay this is a long post but it's necessary ok

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lostinatrainofthoughts · 8 months ago

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update on the date

so apparently.... i am the problem haha.

i told jid that i needed to sit with my feelings after the date and evaluate where this was all going. i was so adamant with that mindset about not pursuing a relationship with him because of those little icks (asshole huwaina) such as him mansplaining (like which guy doesnt? its in their nature) and him dismissing some of my needs (like his persistence of taking me out to the beach, him not believing i cant eat tuna bc of a doc i watched in college) and his stupid lateness and inability to text if hes late (he made me drive all the way to his workplace to only findout he wasnt there yet when i called despite me texting earlier on to say ill make my move early and having to drive to the restaurant alone and him making me wait again for 30 mins at the restaurant) and his fear of being 30 and acting like i have a life a head of me just bc im 3 years younger and his need to shorten my name when i told him i hate when ppl shorten my name.

i had it all in my head that i'll tell him it cant work out bc we are incompatible. wrong. i learnt so much about him today. we have so much in common. he said his mom gifted him a house (hes rich af lol) and i said how would he like to design it and he said minimal. and i was like ohh me too. he said things like i dont have anything to hide from you, you can always check my phone, if we go on a honeymoon then its not about the sex but its more like the latenight deep talks, he says that im free to go wherever i want with whoever i want, as long as i tell him im still alive from time to time. he even gave me gifts which is so heartbreaking.... he gave a cute little heart bracelet which totally fits my vibe and gave me cute little cat badges bc i like cats. he was considerate enough to pour me his bottled water bc i finoshed mine and he prepared my cutleries for me. and hes so gentle with me. he even said he wanted to take photos of me with his digicam and i said i was to shy. so he didnt force it and only took 1 photo of me for the mems. he paid for my food and said i could take away some more. he offered to help me finish my dessert bc the stupid restuarant said for hygiene purposes they couldnt do it. he always called the waiter for me even tho i said i could do it myself. he even always texts me to becareful when im out and its raining. he told me the way to his heart is thru bakes. and i told him i actuallt love baking. we both have a sweet tooth too.

hes always reassuring me and i never did that for him bc i was so terrified to do it bc im scared of beimg in a relationship forever and feel trapped.

so we got home at 6pm HAHA not 7pm. bc i told him i needed to have dinner out w my mom n sis which was true btw.

we were talking about attachment styles and mine is fearful avoidant. and he just foundout his was anxious preoccupied. so he asked me if that will change things and i told him honestly yeah it will. and thats when i realised its not him thats the problem, its me. i cant accept his words and i use it against him all the time, im focused on his flaws to strengthen my need to get out of a relationship. and im bawling as i say this but i always love to sabotage relatiomships and its no womder i like emotionally unavailable men bc thats my perception of how men are. they prove im right?? and im content with having people not appreciate me? im in tears as i say this and i know im probably going to regret saying no to jid when hes the closest guy whos literally to my ideal type and i flat out rejected him bc im unable to meet his emotional needs bc im too fixated on the idea of my independence beimg compromised. thats not fair at all. he doesnt deserve that. i cant and dont even know how to deal with this problem unless i go for therapy. fuck my dad and moms relationship seriously 😂😂😂 if it werent for them i wouldnt be like this ! i wouldnt be so scared of commitment and have deep lingering trust issues. in my head im always thinking im never deserving of being in a relationship and i cant give to people. in this way, i sabotage myself. and it doesnt even feel good anymore. im so sorry jid. i wish i wasnt like this. i feel so horrible.

#personal but not so personal #well bc of this ugly realisation session. i feel the need to better myself. were goimg to change that fearful avoidant attachement to secur #BY THIS YEAR #me being so avoidant has ruined all my chances of healthy relationships :)

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