#literally there is no one else that could ever make him feel this way

[nativegirltapes]

⋆ ˚ ꩜ ｡ ⋆୨୧˚ what happens when sweetheart!reader invites drew over after their recent movie together finally wraps . . .

pairing: sweetheart!reader x drew starkey

warnings/notes: smut but not much until the end. also new reader yay <3 hoping to get her moodboard out tmr 🎀 lmk your thoughts sexies

the tension between you and drew was undeniable, to the both of you and the rest of the world; your friends, his friends, and both your guys' fans. it's not like you guys tried to hide it though, you were both constantly staring at each other whenever in the same room, especially during interviews, or the way you would both subconsciously have your hands all over each other, or maybe the way you'd both find a way to bring each other up when the other wasn't around.

and now that the movie you both starred in was wrapped, you both felt some weight fall from your shoulders. drew didn't feel like much of a pervert since you weren't exactly his costar anymore. and you didn't feel like you had to suppress the way your body reacted every time he got too close to you.

you hated how much you liked him, he made your stomach do literal flips. the feeling was mutual though, drew adored you in a way he hadn't anyone else. "nice place you got." drew said as you showed him around your apartment. "thanks." you stopped when you made it to your bedroom, drew looked around, your bedroom making him realize how much he really didn't know about you. "so, this is where the lucky guys get to come huh?"

"guess so," you plopped on your bed, letting your dress ride up your thighs. you'd be lying if you said that you didn't have intentions of getting somewhere with drew tonight after inviting him over alone. and it would also be a lie if drew wasn't hoping that you had intentions tonight, because he definitely did.

"am i one of those lucky guys?" drew questioned as he sat next to you on your bed. "are you?" you questioned him back, flashing him a little smile. "can i be?"

you shot out of your bed, standing up in front of him. "don't know. can you?" you teased him. drew chuckled, you were playing hard to get and it surprised him. you were the shy type yes, but there was something playful and even a little daring about you tonight and drew loved it. "do you like messing with me?" drew looked up at you as you still stood in front of him. it took a lot for him to not pull you down on his lap and kiss you. a lot actually. "maybe."

"we both know you want me just as bad as i want you right now," drew's hand fiddled with the end of your dress. "and what makes you so sure about that. hm?" you took a seat on his lap, his arm wrapped around your body, they felt even bigger than they looked. "i don't think you would've let me in your bedroom if you didn't." he said. and he was right, he was absolutely right and you didn't like it.

but clearly not enough because before you knew it, you were both tearing your clothes off each other and you were riding him. "fuck, i'm obsessed with you." drew said squeezing your ass as you bounced on his cock. his tight grip making you squeal a little, you knew it would leave marks but that was the last thing you were worried about. "you're so fucking perfect." you watched as drew's chest rose and fell at a certain pace. "cmon, talk to me." he begged.

your whole body felt so good that all you literally could do was let out moans and squeals, "s' good." you whispered, your eyes instinctively shut from the amount of pleasure. "wanna fuck you all the time." you said.

"yeah? you can baby. i'm all yours." drew responded. it was your first time having sex, but holy, the way your pussy felt wrapped around him; he swore he'd never even want to fuck anyone else ever again. "knew you weren't that shy."

you felt your cheeks get red at his comment, "m'gonna come!" you fell into his chest, heavy breaths leaving your lips as you collapsed on top of him. your manicured nails gripped onto his big arms, "me too." drew's breath hitched. you laid on him as you both caught your breath, "soooo, i am one of those lucky guys?"

[gayofthefae]

Was going through the Willelmike triangle Little Women parallels in my head again and realized how deep they go because they literally MADE Will and El siblings!!

So let's do this.

Jo and Amy are siblings. Amy is a painter. Jo desires independence from men. Laurie believes the only way he can be happy is by being with Jo romantically.

Amy has loved Laurie since she was a child but never interfered with his interest for Jo, but was still visibly upset by things like them skating together ahead without her (yes, really). She did not make a move on him and was sympathetic towards him when he was sad about her. Jo loves having Laurie in her life. But she also later says that what she desired from him romantically was validation and, in that way, to provide her a feeling of value, not romance itself. Jo overcame the feeling that he could not be happy without Jo's romantic love and fell in love with her sibling, Amy, when they, by happenstance, are in the same place without Jo or anyone else together for an extended period of time. Amy has idolized Laurie since loving him as a child but he makes her angry and she calls him out for these things. This humanizes him and makes their love more mature and equal that it would have been with her previous crush. But Amy has distanced herself from the idea of ever hoping he could love her back after all these years and at the idea of a romance with him, she pushes him away.

They match it beat for beat. One would expect them to continue to

So good news for season 5...

Jo is sad for a moment, logically. But she has a happy ending and she is completely okay. Beat for beat.

[hellsquills]

Here's the things about only feeling anxiety when you're safe:

You really have to feel like your finally safe. And that takes time.

What Stan felt after Ford returned wasn't safety, but relief. For 30 years all he felt was hope, numbness, pain, anger... but not safety. Nor relief.

When Stanford returns, it's relief, then anger, then pain, then numbness. Never safety. He's happy he's back, but he doesn't feel safe, because they aren't on good terms. It's not like he feels at danger, but it's uneasiness. And being uneasy doesn't make you feel safe at all.

Of course, after the memory wipe, it changes. First for the better, then for the worse. Because first come the good ones (his family, his kids employees, his childhood), then the bad ones (literally everything else), and Stan starts wondering whether he actually died and reincarnated, punished to remember every single sin he committed in his past life. He quickly discards the idea; even so, if that were the case, in this new life he has his family, which he didn't in the previous one. Those memories can come back if they want, because he's not alone to face them anymore.

And then the kids leave. And Stanford stays, and stays close, never leaving his side. And even though he's thankful, something in the back of his mind insists that he needs to be alert, in case the other shoe drops (which will happen). Stan is happy, he's as happy as he ever thought he could be, but he still doesn't feel safe. Maybe he never will.

The twins go sailing, after making sure Stan is okay and more in control of his memories, and things take some time to adjust to, but they manage. They sail, and fish, and hunt, and bicker, and laugh, and bond. They're both the happiest they've ever been, and they're not afraid to show the fact that they need each other. They're the reason for each other's happiness, after all, and damn it if they won't make their brother know that, one way or another.

It's been around a year, and the initial thrill of a weekly near-death encounter wears off. They love it, of course, but they also want time to enjoy life. So they look for less threatening anomalies and study those, and every once in a while they'll go looking for the jackpot. It's a nice, paused rhythm that allows them some peace and quiet, time on their own, and time together. It's a perfect balance.

It is then, when they're doing whatever in silence, that something strikes Stan. He has to blink a few times, but the sensation is still there. All of a sudden, the world slows down, and he needs a moment to look around. He doesn't feel dizzy, but it's a strange feeling, a new one. He doesn't like it.

Ford notices the change and asks him, and Stan says it's nothing. Ford reminds him they said not to downplay their worries anymore, but Stan doesn't know what else to say. It's literally nothing. Nothing bad, nothing good either. Just nothing at all.

It's like the curtain dropped and the show ended, and there's no applause. What is a showman supposed to do after the curtain falls?

He doesn't understand why he feels like this, but it frustrates him to no end. He starts having anxiety attacks for apparently no reason, other than not knowing what's wrong with him. Ford tells him it's a normal reaction to decades of accumulated stress, but Stan already knows that. He's frustrated because these consequences had 40 years to appear, and yet they decided to surface right when he finally has a happy life. He feels like shit because he isn't supposed to feel like shit, not now. He's wasted 40 years having a shitty life and now he's probably gonna feel like shit because of it for the rest of his life. And if that weren't enough, Ford is worried about him. Worried and frustrated, because he can't rip these feelings out of his head. All he can do is stay near and comfort him as best as he can.

However, as time goes on, Stan starts feeling better. The numbness dissipates, and he doesn't feel like he's on autopilot mode again (god he's always hated being like that). Eventually, he becomes more aware of himself and everything around him, and he finds himself laughing and crying with genuine emotions.

Eventually, Stan feels like himself again. His best himself to date.

Sometimes the body does not allow itself to breakdown, to panic, until the very moment you are safe.

Could you imagine? Stanley living on survival all these years, never stopping long enough to panic or cry or feel.

Then, his twin returns and for a moment he thinks it's over, he can feel a build up, a hammering in his chest and a stinging in his eyes and- BAM. A punch.

It isn't until they're out at sea, that when he gets hurt and actually gets taken care of, that his body registers that he is safe. At last.

[rekino2114]

How about 3 with fem kaiser and male reader

I imagine she'd give you a blue rose bouquet

Fem!kaiser giving you a bouquet and chocolate

Valentine's prompt #3

Prompts list

Pairing:fem!Michael kaiser x male reader

A/n:my first Valentine's Day post, and it's with one of my favorite characters to write for

"I-i'm sorry ma'am but we don't carry-"

"Tch"

Kaiser didn't even let the florist finish her sentence, a sentence that she had heard way too many times in a day. She hated when people repeated things to her, especially if it was something she didn't want to hear

"I should have expected that, this place is so trashy anyway"

The woman she was speaking to wanted to say something, but she knew better than to talk back to one of germany's most famous and important football players and people in general which was currently looking at her like she could buy this entire store 5 times and still have enough money to afford the incredibly expensive box of chocolates she was holding, which was actually very true

Kaiser sighed and simply walked outside of the store, not saying anything else. She sat on a bench inside of the mall she was in and ran a hand through her hair sighing even more heavily, she knew she fucked up and this was all just her fault.

She knew she shouldn't have waited until the last day to try to get the bouquet, but she was overconfident just like she was in football except that there her skills backed her confidence up but in this occasion there was no skill she could make use of, just the unpredictable mechanism of luck.

Unlike most holidays (Christmas especially), Michelle actually likes Valentine's day, sure it's cheesy and corny, but she can't deny that ever since she started dating you, she has become a bit cheesy and corny herself, giving you a blue rose bouquet every month with a note entitled to "my emperor💙" constantly showering you in praise and compliments and still using pick up lines even after years of dating but that's what feeling love for the first time ever does to a person. Kaiser loved you, and you deserved nothing short of perfection....which was exactly why she was disappointed that she couldn't give it to you today.

Her usual blue rose supplier had gotten sick and couldn't do his job. She was about to tell him to get up and do it anyway since she would still play a match while sick, but she didn't want to be that mean on a day about love so she just hung up without saying anything and went to look for blue roses in basically all of Munich's flower shops.

Of course, she knew that blue roses were very rare and literally unobtainable in nature. That's the whole reason why she got the tattoo in the first place, but what else could she have done? Give you normal roses? As if! She was the blue rose empress, that was literally her symbol. She wanted to get you blue roses so that every time you looked at them, you would think of her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her phone ringing. When she took it out of her pocket, she was relieved to see it was you calling her and not someone else to bother her even more.

"Hello, what is it schatz?"

"Hi Michelle, noa wanted me to ask you why you didn't come at practice today"

"Oh, I'm just shopping"

".....really, for what? You usually just send ness to do it or go with me"

".......well-"

"Speaking of ness, where is he? He didn't come either"

"Yeah......i sent him to buy something too"

"So.....you two are trying to buy the same thing but you're not together?"

"......yeah"

"....it must be important"

"It is"

"I see well I'll just tell noa you're busy and not bother you anymore, love you bye"

"Thanks, love you too"

The conversation kaiser had just finished made her feel even more guilty. You were just so sweet and perfect. The roses and chocolates you had given her this morning had already proven it to her among the mountains of other things you did for her.

You knew she didn't like receiving gifts, that she genuinely wouldn't have known how to react, but you still did it, simply telling her that it was just because of tradition and she didn't have to get you anything, but she wanted to, she wanted to get those damn blue roses.

She gritted her teeth as her anger rose. Why today of all days? Somehow, not being able to give you what you deserved felt even worse than getting a goal blocked by isagi

*ring ring*

"What is it?"

This time kaiser didn't even try to hide her frustration at however was on the other side of the phone

"K-kaiser, I found the roses"

"Finally! Where are they?"

"I-it's just-"

"Listen ness, I don't care what's happening there, I'll get the roses even if I have to kill someone to have them"

"But it's 800 euros for a bouquet"

"......ok and?"

"Isn't that......super expensive?"

"Yes and wildly overpriced. Like i told you, I'm getting those roses no matter what ,plus it's not actually that much for me, I can make that back in a match if I play well, and I always do"

"........o-ok"

After going to get the roses, kaiser and Ness went back to the bastard münchen building and were greeted by noa scolding them for not attending practice which Michelle mostly ignored as she told the magician to tell you to come to her room later.

"Hey babe, what-"

You gasped as the first thing you saw when you opened the door was kaiser holding a blue rose bouquet, smiling at you

"Happy valentine's day schatz"

"You didn't have to do this you know?"

"Yes, but I wanted to. You do so much for me. I would have felt terrible not giving you anything back"

She kissed you, wrapping her arms around you and guiding you to her large bed, where she placed the bouquet and opened the chocolate box

"Want some?"

The chocolates all looked amazing....and expensive, some of them had golden wrappers or phrases like I love you written on the chocolates themselves

"How much did this cost?"

"Please schatz don't worry about that"

She grabbed one of the chocolates with her fingers and held it out to you

"Do you need me to feed it to you~"

"I certainly wouldn't complain about that"

You opened your mouth as kaiser fed you the chocolates, you swallowed it, and your eyes lit up at how tasty it was

"So good!"

"Of course, I made sure they were all your favorite flavors. My emperor only deserves the best"

"What did i do to deserve you?"

"Just.....loving me"

Kaiser got close to you once again and hugged you. You hugged back as you let yourself fall on the bed with her on top of you. She kissed you passionately another time and continued kissing your face, leaving blue lipstick marks on it

"I love you so much schatz"

"Me too, I love you so so much"

Kaiser's smile widened as she moved to your right, hugging you even tighter. You were now fully cuddling on the bed

"Should I add the bouquet to the ones you always give me"

"If you want, I'd say this one is special, though. It cost me a lot, both in money and effort"

"Awww and you still brought it for me, you're so sweet"

"It's nothing, I'd do anything for you"

With those final words, kaiser kissed your forehead as you two continued to cuddle in silence. Her love warmed you up as you felt her heartbeat, which you knew was beating for you, the only person who showed kaiser love, her boyfriend, teammate, emperor, soulmate and now her valentine.

[iamlostsomewhereinthegarden]

Took me a while because I literally did everyone lol, so here we have:

Obey me characters and their fashion styles Pt. 2

Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shi- This is part 2 as there is the stupid 3 gifs/images per post limit

Pt 1.

Solomon

Only has one proper fit in his closet that he put together everything else was bought and put together for him by Asmo

Has little interest in fashion and with the years blurring by in his human mind has lost track of what is actually fashionable so can't really dress properly outside of suit and tie events since there isn't much variations in that

Always in something that covers his body because he dislikes showing off his pact marks and whatever scars he has on his body

Despite this all his clothes are breathable and doesn't overheat him, he overheats often very easily and just uses magic to seem unbothered but he wears breathable clothing to avoid one more chore

Let him dress you and you'll come out looking like a damned hot mess never let him actually dress you, let him put in opinions and give out ideas but never let him actually dress you!

Diavolo

On par with Lucifer with the fact that he can only dress formally properly as he's been having to do it forever

His difference is that casual clothing (on the rare occasions that is) is a mix of Lucifer's casual and Solomon's fashion sense because he doesn't get to dress casual often and refuses to let Barbatos find something suitable for him to wear

Really likes themed clothing though and will try and force Lucifer or even push Barbatos to wear matching clothing with him Mephibfrebchd wishes he could be like that with Diavolo

Compared to Solomon though Diavolo is more on the cringe leaning side and will gladly look like a pair of dads with Lucifer and wear Hawaiian shirts with khakis

Even with his bad fashion sense it's hard to make fun of him or even tell him it sucks because what do you mean you're gonna bully someone who rarely ever gets the freedom to be chill and choose his own stuff and rarely gets a chance to wear these crappy casual clothing? WHAT DO YOU MEAN??????

Let him dress you and you'll come out wearing some matching cringe shit with him, yes it's gonna be embarrassing but on the bright side not only did the King of Hell dress you but you're matching with him! Anyone who makes fun of you is also making fun of the king so they better get ready to grovel for forgiveness

Barbatos

The king of formal wear

Despite this he does know how to dress casual and for any event and how to not look weird either

He has to as he dresses Diavolo and has been taking care of him from since forever

He's just simply one hell of a butler

His no specific style outside of not really being fond of clothing that may show his body

Let him dress you and you'll come out looking in the most ideal way of your style, he's a butler that caters to other's needs so he knows how to dress people to their tastes!

Though if you let him dress you how'd he like you to look you'll come out looking like a royal or a noble as  that is what you are to him

Simeon

(Btw why does he dress like a slut)

Has a very casual sense of style tbh, not too formal but not too cozy and lazy, the perfect middle

Though I'd have to say most of his clothes has no sleeves, he has a weird problem with sleeves on his clothing though he will wear them to be appropriate.

Enjoys the fact that heaven gives them stuff to wear cause he actually dislikes finding outfits

Despite this the king of casual comfy clothing like the first fit you try you love immediately 

Let him dress you and you'll come out in an outfit that you'll often wear cause it's so good

Luke

I feel like dressing with him would be like dress up time with a child

Doesn't know much about fashion since that is not something to be focused on in Heaven and I'm pretty sure they restricted for what they can wear

Has the innate ability to pick out very cute looking clothing though it may not always be comfortable sadly

Dresses in the cute shota fashion, think like Mitsukuni Haninozuka from Ouran Host Club

Is fine dressing in any color but likes dressing in pastel colors the most outside of any shade of blue and yellow

Let him dress you and you'll come out looking adorable! like so cute, very cute and probably matching with him.

Raphael

(Why is he dressed even sluttier????? WHY IS ASMO MORE DRESSED THAN BOTH OF THE ADULT ANGELS 90 OF THE TIME??? IS HEAVEN A STRIP CLUB????????)

If we think Solomon was bad Raphael is 10x worse because at least Solomon has an idea of what he thinks is cool and what is fashionable even if it sucks Raphael has no idea or care

All outfits chosen by himself is weird and uncoordinated or similar to his regular fit so almost everything for the world to see

Constantly manages to find the most comfortable clothes you can possibly find also, so though he looks weird he's comfy

Actually prefers to have as much skin out as possible as it makes it easier for him to move around and fight if needed

Hates clothing that fully covers his skin and it makes him feel stifled, prefers stuff that isn't close to his skin (he just like me fr)

Let him dress you and you'll come out looking veryyyyyy funky but very mobile and somehow very comfortable, demons stare at you and tell you that "you have a unique sense of fashion" and you have to let them know that you let the "Angel with the Spear dressed you today" and suddenly they understand and are sorry for you

Thirteen

Thirteen is an amazing fashionista and has an amazing sense of style

I'm sure you can tell by her personalized reaper uniform and R.A.D. uniform but she loves alt styles 

All her clothing is different and ranges from comfortable to non comfortable but most are comfortable because it's supposed to be something she likes

Also doesn't care much for how much of her body is exposed but prefers to always carry some sort of sweater she likes her arms covered but doesn't always care for sleeves or long gloves (she's just like me fr)

Go to a thrift shop with her and she'll find the coolest and comfiest stuff to wear

Let her dress you and you'll come out looking so fucking cool, you'll look like those people on magazines or that cool alt person you see that you add to your pinterest board

Mephihdewuhcds Mephistopheles

On the same level of dressing as Lucifer and Diavolo (simp) but when asked to dress down dresses like a prep kid

The brands on this man radiates so much money that Mammon's mouth waters and you look like a walking cash bag to him

Most of his clothing is very uncomfortable but he's just gotten used to it (I personally believe he comes from a shitty noble family hence why he's so stuck up) so comfy clothing is foreign and weird to him

Does not know how to dress casual (even in rich branded clothing) as the average person may see it, and is very uncomfortable in casual clothing because of his upbringing

Let him dress you and you'll come out looking similar to how Satan would dress you, a prep student that aces all their exams! (though the clothes may be a bit uncomfortable)

Tags:@kisakis-boyfriend

[ouliarts]

Darkest Dungeon 2 spoilers for Abomination Backstory and Hunger of the beast clan update

Just a little character analysis The Abomination and how I feel about his new lore. It's a little long because I have thoughts about the sad science man

I’m probably in the minority with this but I actually really like the Abomination backstory in DD2. Like I genuinely like what it means for the character. I get the appeal of the idea that he was an alchemist who was experimenting with making a curse and accidentally cursed himself. I even had a similar headcanon about it before the dlc. But there's something about his story in dd2 that really hits me.

In the first game there was a bit of mystery around Bigby. he felt like the one hero that probably holds himself with the least amount of care. All the other heroes wear armor, have proper weapons, nice clothes that are well maintained. Bigby doesn’t have that. He wears teared pants, no shirt, no shoes, a single cloth that he isn’t even properly wearing, man is constantly gripping it. He doesn’t even bother trying to hide his brand. This is not a man who sees himself as worth taking care of. Is it because of guilt? Well he probably deserves it right? Maybe he brought it upon himself, maybe he was messing with things he didn’t understand and now this is his punishment?

And then we get the lore drop that the circumstance that led him to be like this wasn’t even his own fault. It was a horrible accident (that probably could have been avoided if he wasn’t being dumb and going to a well known dangerous moor, with no protection, at night, alone with no guide. I love you Bigby but that was not a pro gamer move). He was mauled, he didn’t want to die. Managing to save himself with a serum that ended up just sealing his fate. Then he was taken in and tortured by the church for who knows how long for reasons he didn’t understand (I don’t think he even killed anyone; they just mentioned a mutilated cow).

And then when he finally transforms he's horrified. Could you imagine his feelings? He was tortured, branded and right after that his body transformed into something horrifying before his own eyes. He has no control over it, no say to what happens. And then he wakes up, alone, surrounded by dead bodies he made. Because they were right. They should have been afraid of him. How could he ever trust himself again? When he caused all of this. 

Bro is suicidal as heck man, even his in game dialogue has him constantly thinking he should die. This man does not think he is worth anything anymore.

I would also like to point out that his beast form doesn’t look right. It doesn’t look like a regular rotclaw at least (I think we all can agree it was probably a rotclaw that jumped him, they literally have an attack that mauls you with blight damage)

Like comparing the two side by side. One arm is bigger than the other, he barely has any fur, his legs are different being clawed instead of hooves, his teeth are sharper and he's a lot smaller compared to one (that last could just be cause of gameplay reason, maybe he's suppose to be the same size but he has to fit in the line up somehow)

I like to think it's because he made that imperfect antidote. I think he was legit supposed to either die from the poison that night but he managed to save himself with the mess of a serum he managed to scrounge together. Only that serum was not at all perfect because he used all the wrong things and he couldn’t remember the recipe so he ended up just making the mutation worse. Sealing his fate. Why else would Red Hook purposely make him an Alchemist and not just a regular guy that got mauled.

So in a way he is responsible for why he is the way he is but like, can you really blame him for trying to save himself? Bro forgot the recipe for the antivenom cause he was panicking and just rawdogged it. And now he probably wishes he just let the poison kill him.

But that's a personal headcanon thing not really important to this. 

And then that one line in the last shrine. 

“Goodbye to the man that wished to chart the stars” This line really shows you how little he thinks about himself now. He just wanted to be a study some plants, chart the stars, learn about the world. But he doesn’t deserve that anymore. He doesn't deserve to be comfortable, or treated well. The man he once was is gone, no more. He's not a man anymore, he can never go back.

He made one dumb mistake And now he lives with it for the rest of his life. He hates himself for it. Blames himself, literally puts the chains back on because he cannot trust himself ever again. Because of one dumb mistake he made. He seeks redemption for things that were completely out of his control. His story is a tragedy, because he never had a choice in it. 

Anyway what I mean to say is, I really like this sopping wet cat of a nerd, with so much self loathing, that made one really dumb mistake and is being punished way too severely by the world for it. Quite literally the GOAT of all time

[juvinadelgreko]

adding to this as a Late To The Party queer person who also just reread TRC:

i second everything in this post. it took me nearly 2 decades to realize i wasn’t into men. looking back on my life, i attribute this largely to the fact that i was way too busy being a Gifted Kid ™️ who also played elite sports and barely had time to eat, let alone consider my own identity.

those things were always true about me: i just didn’t see them for what they were until i actually had time for myself, got out into the world and had experiences that showed me those things.

i was into women the entire time. but until i actually met another queer woman, it never occurred to me that there was any explanation for what i felt beyond “this girl is my friend. that’s why i like her so much.”

i was never into men. but until i actually tried to kiss one and hated it it never occurred to me that there might’ve been an explanation for my lack of interest in them besides “i’m very busy playing elite junior sports and carrying a full ap course load.”

so it doesn’t at all surprise me that in the midst of working 3 jobs, dealing with abusive father, striking a bargain with a magical sentient forest, hunting for a dead welsh king, AND going to school, adam parrish didn’t exactly have a minute to consider that maybe he liked ronan’s attention for other reasons.

adam tells us straight up that he enjoys ronan’s crush because it makes him feel worthy of admiration—and he’d never felt admired that way before. that’s a far more plausible explanation than “i am also queer.” and while it probably does account for some of his feelings, adam Does Not Have The Time to look at it any closer. he’s literally being possessed while he tries to finish his senior year of high school!

then ronan kisses him, and he likes it???? what?? i think many queer people have this moment, where we can pinpoint the exact moment that we realized we’d been in denial the whole time, or just hadn’t been able to see the whole truth. because before an actual kiss, there were reasonably plausible heterosexual explanations for everything we’d felt prior. it’s not until something happens for which there is no heterosexual explanation that we start to go hm. perhaps i missing something.

this happened to alex in rwrb. he could easily explain away his obsession with henry by telling himself and everyone else that he hated henry because he was snobby and british and had been annoying to him one time. why would alex look any closer at this scenario? his mother, the POTUS, is fighting for re-election against a very conservative candidate. she doesn’t need her son to be queer. then henry kisses him, he likes it, and there is no heterosexual explanation for that.

and of course, as we said, with adam. he was able to explain away enjoying ronan’s crush, had no desire to examine his feelings any further because of Life ™️, and then suddenly he’s making out with ronan and he likes it and oh wait there’s no heterosexual explanation for this!

so yeah. it makes a lot of sense. queer people under a great deal of outside pressure usually take a minute to realize they’re queer. something has to happen to trip the wires. it’s kind of sad but very true. re-reading trc, i’m actually really impressed with how maggie wrote adam and ronan’s arc. it’s very much authentic to what a lot of us experience.

there’s a very clear contrast between queer people who grew up in pressure cookers and queer people who grew up affirmed and supported like ronan did. whether he ever came out to his parents or not, ronan was always told he was loved and powerful. so facing his own queerness would’ve been a much easier pill for him to swallow than adam. i imagine he saw declan start flirting with girls, thought “girls? really? ew. no.” and that was that. ronan was gay, there was nothing that could be done to change that, so fuck you if you didn’t like it. but when niall dies and he loses his support system and he has to figure out his powers on his own, dating promptly goes to the bottom of his priority list. that is, until adam. until he has the gangsey as a support system.

TL;DR, it’s very hard to live an authentic an authentic life if all your energy is going towards survival. no shit adam parrish is unknowable. he doesn’t have time to learn.

I’ve been musing on adam’s sexuality and I know some folks feel like he’s been bi the whole time but having just done a deep pynch-focused dive through the books, I actually think adam hadn’t realized that he was into ronan Like That until they kissed. like he obviously knew ronan was into him (and actually, knew ronan was gay since like, the beginning of trb probably), but he had sort of convinced himself that the reason he enjoyed it was vanity/attention. and right before and after the kiss we get the line “adam didn’t understand anything” which feels to me like he hadn’t even comprehended this was a thing he wanted until he was doing it.

and that’s actually a very common queer experience, especially for folks who are interested in multiple genders, especially when they’re young.

so adam, despite wanting to know everything and being the perceptive one, has these increasingly big moments of “I feel like I’m missing some data here” but the data he needed was the actual experience of kissing ronan/making the conscious decision to kiss ronan again and THEN he has his eureka moment. And he can look back at the moments where he found his Latin teacher hot, or when he put a picture of an attractive man in his glove box and realize he was bi the whole time.

[neiptune]

like real people do

cw: 2.8k wc, female reader, friends to lovers, literally black cat x labrador dynamic, you showed up one day and are still part of his life, it’s an axiom he would never expect to change. until one day you meet his brother for the first time and rin shits himself

“We should hang out tomorrow. Are you free?”.

“No”.

You frown.

“Would you have said yes, if you were?”.

Rin takes a moment to reply.

“Probably not”.

The grin you offer right away doesn’t surprise him, if anything it makes him roll his eyes with fake exasperation.

“I love how you never change”.

He nudges your shoulder with his arm, hands buried in the pockets of an expensive coat.

“You’re annoying”.

“I know, it’s my whole thing. You kinda agreed to it when you accepted me as a friend”.

“I never did such thing. You showed up one day and never left”.

Your giggle echoes across the empty street and Rin finds himself basking in your usual affection, something he’s well aware he hardly deserves.

It’s true, though. One day, back in high school, you were assigned to the same group project with two other classmates and that’s when the information of being in the same class in the first place was presented to him. You talked too much and smiled too often but when it came to doing actual work, you turned into a weirdly serious, responsible student. Instantly, too. Which would’ve been an interesting aspect of your personality, if he so much as cared.

You both ended up being the only two putting in real work to finish the project but the only thing Rin could think of was that he was relieved his perfect grades could stay perfect despite the dead weight. Except, you didn’t leave him alone ever since, apparently happy (always way too happy) to have found a new friend. He doesn’t remember how many times, throughout his high school years, he had to repeat that you two were not friends. Over and over again, the deterrent had failed miserably.

Rin has kinda made peace with your presence in his life by now, despite adulthood and your careers playing a significant role in keeping you apart, whenever he visits his hometown you’re there and whenever you happen to be where he is, you insist on seeing him. Stubborn as he’s always been, in his own mind Rin stands his ground that there’s nothing tragically wrong in allowing you to consider him your friend, still. There’s also nothing particularly dramatic in letting himself indulge in someone else’s obstinate fondness.

You’re a good person, he knows that much. Patient, generous, always the first to offer help and the last to ask for anything. You’re stupid. And gullible. Way too easy to take advantage of. It’s why he, to this day, still keeps an eye on you, walks you home in the middle of the night, doesn’t shut the door like he’d do with anyone else when you show up uninvited to his house. Sometimes he brings you something too, little mementos from his travels that hold no real meaning, despite the way your eyes shine with wonder when he begrudgingly hands them to you.

Rin knows you like him. Or at least you used to, so many years ago. He remembers hearing you confessing the secret to one of your closest friends. You never really told him, a good person but still too proud to give him the satisfaction of rejecting you, stood by his side when no one else would put up with his pissy attitude, always disregarding your feelings. Even when he had girlfriends you were there, feigning nonchalance. Stupid. He remembers how he immaturely tried to get you to admit it, shared petty details of his dates, told you he thought he was falling in love with other girls. Your smile barely faltered.

Why did you do that to yourself all that time, he still wonders. But then again he’d have to ask himself why his impatience, or rather lack of understanding, led him to kiss you when you were both visiting your families for the holidays, back from college.

Rin remembers the snow, the umbrella you were holding trying to clumsily cover him too. He remembers you were babbling some nonsense about how proud you were of him, of his career, the way you always knew he was destined to great things, his blue lock jersey still stored safely in the back of your closet. Rin remembers the way he took your face in his hands and pressed his lips to yours, dry and chapped from the cold. Was that truly the only way to get you to shut up? He doesn’t know. He just knows he didn’t expect you to take a step back, thank him for walking you home. The kiss was never mentioned again, the following day you acted like it never happened and he was glad he could carry on without the burden of weird expectations. Well, almost completely glad.

He didn’t kiss you because he liked you or desired something as unnecessary as a relationship, he’s sure of that. He just wanted to, in that moment. A stupid whim. And if the urge of shutting you up in the softest way has possessed him multiple times after that day and throughout the years, out of mere curiosity or simple convenience, he’s never really admitted it to himself. 

You showed up one day, never left, are still part of his life. It’s an axiom he’d never expect to change. Perhaps he finds some comfort in it.

“You really can’t hang out tomorrow? ”, you’re doing that thing you always do when you’re disappointed, furrowed brows over big eyes that are rapidly losing their usual glow as you blink a few times. He sighs.

“I really can’t”.

“How long are you in town for?”.

“A few days”, he pauses for a second, then decides to concede, “we’ll have plenty of time”.

The way your lips immediately curl into a sweet smile almost makes him crack one too. Rin also loves how you never change.

“Oooh, you wanna hang out with me so bad!”.

“Shut up”.

“We’ll have plenty of time! Because I’m your best friend in the whole, entire world!”.

“Now you’re really pushing it”.

You laugh again, something tender settling over your features. He once more recognizes the affection in your gaze and has to look away.

Rin has hated October 10 for as long as he can remember.

It wasn’t always like that, as a kid it was a special day he got to celebrate his favorite person on. His brother went from being his personal hero and best friend, to a stranger he couldn’t recognize, to an adult he tries to have a decent relationship with, now. Still, October 10 is a hassle. If Sae is in town, something he tries to do for their sake, their parents always insist on having a small birthday celebration at home.

His mother spends hours decorating the living room, orders a cake so big it would require at least ten additional guests, they have so many gifts ready and wrapped by the table. For the past few years, Rin has been getting his brother a gift too. Not exactly a peace offering but the promise of getting there, perhaps.

It infuriates him that Sae still acts perfectly normal around him, never hostile, indifferent at best. They barely talk to each other but Rin doesn’t want to spend his entire life seething, he doesn’t want for one single feeling to define him anymore. So he also accepts the birthday gifts his brother sends him on September 9.

It’s just a day, he mentally repeats, it will be over soon. But he doesn’t expect the doorbell to ring, everything has already been delivered and they didn't invite anyone.

Rin certainly doesn’t expect you, standing on his doorstep with a million dollar smile and clearly hiding something behind your back.

“What are you doing here?”, he’s frozen, in disbelief. You’re not supposed to be there.

“Surprise!”, you grin, “look what I finally found!”.

You’re suddenly holding something so close to his face he has to take a moment to focus to understand what he’s looking at. It’s a horror game, one he’s looked everywhere for because they don’t sell those anymore. Rin only mentioned it once but of course you mentally took note and conducted your own, personal research. It must’ve costed you a fortune. You’re such an idiot.

“It’s not a good time”, he takes a step back, hoping you’ll get the hint and do the same. Your smile falls.

“I know. I just wanted to drop this off. Here”, you hand him the neatly packed gift. Rin takes it, then meets your gaze for a second. He wants to say something, apologize, but you’ve already turned your back to him and are quickly granting his wish of being left alone. He asks himself how much patience you have left, how close you are to abandoning him and his asshole ways for good.

“Who are you?”.

Rin freezes a second time, the voice behind him so close and oddly interested. You stop in your tracks, whip around to look at someone who isn’t him. Something hard flashes across your features but it’s quickly whisked away when you offer one of your usual, polite smiles.

“No one, I was just passing by”.

Something inside Rin cracks. No one? You can hardly ever shut up about being his friend. 

Sae hums.

“You should come in. There’s extra cake”.

When their mom catches sight of you, she also invites you in and there’s really no turning back from that. You’re too well mannered, too acquainted with his family to refuse. So you indulge them.

From the kitchen, he observes something he never thought would (or should) happen. Sae, the most infuriatingly detached, impassive person on the planet, is sitting next to you on the couch, where you’re making polite conversation. He’s listening. Rin knows he’s listening because he keeps his eyes on you, stance relaxed. Who knows what nonsense you’re rambling about this time, unfinished cake in the paper plate balanced on your knees. He says something, you chuckle. Rin focuses on his own unfinished cake, suddenly nauseous.

All these years, this is the one thing he didn’t want to happen, you meeting his brother. It’s petty and childish and Rin isn’t even quite sure why the desire to keep you from him has burned ardently this entire time but the fact that his efforts have vanished in the space of one afternoon brings a strange weariness.

By the time you excuse yourself, his parents are begging you to stay over for dinner. You refuse, thank them, thank Sae the most and wish him the happiest birthday. He dismisses your formality with the vague wave of a hand, says he hopes to meet you again. You smile sweetly.

“There’s no need”.

Rin ignores your objection similarly to how you ignored him the entire afternoon, finishes buttoning up his coat instead. He always walks you home and today will be no exception.

The silence between you two is so uncharacteristic it irritates him, to the point of affliction. Are you that upset with him? Ah, the magic must’ve finally flickered out.

“So, how was it?”, he spitefully pushes, “meeting the legendary brother”.

You keep your gaze on the street.

“It was okay”.

Rin scoffs.

“Just okay? You two really hit it off”.

“He was kind to me”.

“I’m sure he was”.

You finally stop in your tracks to look at him.

“Just because we’re friends it doesn’t mean you get to be an asshole all the time, you know”.

Rin stops too, lips parted, breath condensating into a tiny cloud by his mouth. The serious look you’re fixing him with makes his shoulders slump ever so slightly.

“I’m sorry”, he murmurs. Your gaze softens and he hates it, how easy it is for you to cut him some slack.

“Can you tell me what’s really wrong, Rin?”.

He feels like throwing up.

“Nothing is wrong”.

You hum, pensive, take the time to kick a tiny rock with the tip of your boot.

“I really think you should give yourself some grace. You deserve some peace”.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”.

“It means you’re so focused on protecting yourself from imaginary threats, you can’t see”.

“See what?”.

You offer a sad smile.

“How bright you shine”.

Rin is so taken aback he doesn’t know what to say, surprise paralyzing his entire body. He hasn’t felt like this in a while, perhaps years. It’s not fair that you have access to such a vulnerable side of him, it’s not fair that he can suddenly sense a weird lump in his throat.

“I don’t shine-”, he spits the word out, disgusted.

You’re usually very careful about his boundaries, whether they’re a hoax or not. But this time? You do something you’ve never done before, roughly take his face in your cold hands to make sure he keeps his gaze on you instead of avoiding it like a coward.

“You shine, Rin. I’m so tired of you being the only one refusing to see it. You’re the most resilient, talented, hardworking person I know. You did good. But the challenge is over, there is no war anymore, you don’t have to persist in this stubborn seclusion”, your eyes are suddenly wet, tears precariously collecting in your lash line, “you get to rest, now. Please, be proud of yourself and rest. There’s nothing to be on your guard against”.

He doesn’t remember his heart ever squeezing as painfully in his chest before, the urge to take your face in his hands making the pads of his fingers itch. He doesn’t remember the last time he came so close to let a few tears fall.

He’s gonna take you too. Just like he takes everything from me.

The thought takes his breath away for a moment. He feels your thumb gently stroke his cheek.

“You’re the legendary brother to me, anyway”, you smile, then sniffle.

Has he split himself wide open for you or are you simply that good at reading him? Rin can feel his hands shake when they fist the fabric of your plush jacket.

“Why are you telling me this?”, he can barely recognize the desperation vibrating in his own voice, “why do you even put up with me?”.

You blink a few times, astonished. Then smile again, warm and bright like the sun. Oh, he doesn’t shine, you do.

“Because I love you, obviously”.

And Rin doesn’t have to ask, doesn’t have to wonder what you mean. He knows. He’s known all this time.

“Why did you never tell me?”.

“Because you wouldn’t have let me do it in peace”, you chuckle, “you don’t like me like that so you wouldn’t have let me love you. As if I needed something in return. As if loving you as a friend couldn’t possibly be enough, anyway”.

His fingers are hurting from how tightly he’s still fisting the fabric of your jacket. It feels like his insides are exploding with a million different emotions and he doesn’t have nearly enough time to interpret them. But does he really need that, after all? Time. He’s known you for so long. 

“Stop putting up a fight, silly”, you let go of his face but flick his forehead, to which he grimaces, surprised, “let me love you. I’m your best friend in the whole, entire world after all! Who cares about your stupid brother? No wait, that came out mean, I just meant I care more about you than-”

Rin’s sudden embrace is suffocating, you’re pressed against him so tightly you genuinely struggle taking a single breath. You don’t remember him ever hugging you, the most noteworthy intentional contact you can recall is his arm around your shoulders when you insisted on taking a cute selfie, once. Every other hug, you had always initiated. His arms were always loose around you, cautious, despite his forehead often resting on your shoulder.

His clothes smell nice. He smells nice. You close your eyes, bask in a warmth so strange yet familiar. You don’t think you’ll ever love someone the way you love him.

“You’re so stupid”, Rin murmurs against your neck. With a smile, you nuzzle your face further into his chest.

“So I’ve been told”.

He thinks his heart might be seconds away from slamming itself free from his ribcage.

“Can you tell me again?”.

“What, that I don’t care about your brother? Sure, fuck Itoshi Sae. Oh no, that was also way too mean, don’t tell him I said-”

Rin pulls away abruptly, hands kept on your shoulders to keep you there or maybe to steady himself. You shut your mouth, don’t comment damp cheeks dusted with pink. It may be the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen him.

“Not that, you idiot”, his pitch is gentle, with a hint of amusement. One of his hands cradles your cheek, thumb gently skimming over your lips.

“I love you”, it comes out less bold now, timid. Something melts in his chest all the same.

“Will you pretend it never happened, if I kiss you now?”.

Your exhale is shaky.

“No”.

All these years and this is the first time you’re seeing Itoshi Rin truly, openly smile. The sight does something funny to your stomach.

“Good”.

[manias-wordcount]

View of Paradise (Satoru Gojo x Reader) PART EIGHTEEN

[𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙀 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘾𝙃𝙊𝘾𝙊𝙇𝘼𝙏𝙀 𝙁𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙊𝙍𝙔 𝘼𝙐]

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗝𝗮𝗻𝘂𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗮 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗼 𝗮𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗟𝗠𝗔𝗢. 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗶 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗶 𝗴𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗛𝗔𝗛𝗔𝗛𝗔𝗛

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𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁: @ky0mybeloved @moonchhu

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

��𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

You wouldn’t have guessed it at first, but it seems that there’s a side to Mr. Gojo likes to linger. A side that likes to step out of the spotlight for a little bit. A side that doesn’t mind the moments when all eyes aren’t on him. A side that quite literally disappears. 

But again, you wouldn’t have guessed it. In fact, you find it hard to believe the more you sit on the observation and ponder it. His personality feels big. Almost too big to ever think of this man relegating himself to the shadows. You’ve seen it with his intense and unapologetic actions and reactions when it comes to your little tour group- that much was clear. But his presence? His presence feels even bigger. Though you suppose that in particular has a lot to do with his slender figure and long legs, more than anything else, really. 

Either way, in your mind, Mr. Gojo is the type of person whose very persona demands attention. Every second of the day and every day of the year. And to you, it makes sense why he decided to close his doors and never leave his factory. He draws too much attention, perhaps even subconsciously. During the times he may want all of it. And during the times he may want none of it at all.

At least, you assume he would have moments like that. You know you do. You know that you cherish the little breaks you would get during your shifts at work. Those moments in the breakroom where you could just turn off and be yourself. And be normal. But Mr. Gojo feels different. He just is different. He just is.

You imagine that anywhere he would go, he would stand out. He would draw eyes to him just by standing there and being himself. And you could imagine it so clearly too. Eyes in a crowd all folding to see him.To catch a glimpse of him. To take him in. To bear witness to his personality. To his handsome face. To his bright, beautiful eyes. To his striking white hair. To his body, as embarrassing as it is for you to admit even within your own thoughts (though you have absolutely no doubt that it is very attractive underneath all of the layers he has on). Either way, Mr. Gojo feels hard to miss and even harder to forget. Perhaps that’s why you’re so drawn to him.

Perhaps that’s why you’re a little more than okay with the way he’s been treating you ever since the two of you first interacted, despite being strangers at heart. He’s been on this entire time. Juggling between showering you with attention and keeping the other guest entertained as he leads you through his factory. Well, this leads you to the first real room of interest in his factory, but still. He’s been putting on a show, and he’s been doing so well too- especially for a man you thought was supposed to be a recluse. But now, you’re not so sure. In fact, you’re finding out that there always seems to be something about him that makes you feel unsure and confused, and honestly?

“Um…Mr. Gojo? Where did you…?”

“Right here, sweetheart.”

A little bit mystified.

At the call of his voice, you find yourself letting a small gasp slip from your lips as you turn in the direction that you heard his voice come from. He’s right there when you go to look. He’s right where you heard his voice. A little to the left and a couple feet away. Leaning on his cane by a tall, wiry-looking tree- one that you recall him saying was made with a caramel center- with a pleased-as-punch-looking smile on his face. But despite his awfully cheery mood, you can’t help but give him an unimpressed glare.

He wasn’t there before.

You know he wasn’t. Before you went to call his name. Before you went to ask your question. You looked for him. You turned in that direction. Hell, you spun around. Looking a little silly as your feet twirled among the green candy grass beneath you. But you looked for him. But he wasn’t there. He wasn’t where you had last seen him. He wasn’t where you had last left him- just a few feet in front and off to your right side. Practically in eyesight, if only you weren’t looking down! But he wasn’t there when you looked up. He wasn’t there when you spun around. He wasn’t there when you searched for him.

And yet, the second you called his name? He was there. He was right where you thought you would find him as if he was there the entire time. As if you hadn’t looked in that direction at all. It made you feel crazy. Maybe you are crazy. And if you are crazy, then you’re definitely not above blaming him for it. Things like this would drive just about anyone up the wall.

So to express your…’ appreciation,’ you allowed him the honor of witnessing yet another eye-roll from you. The umpteenth time today. Which, of course, draws another chuckle from the far-too-handsome man at your expense. For the umpteenth time today.

It shouldn’t matter. It really shouldn’t bother you as much as it does. Nor should it freak you out as it does. But Mr. Gojo does it often. In the short He disappears for a second only to reappear in another spot, standing there after if had been there the entire time. He’ll start on your left only to reappear on your right just as you’re turning your head. He’ll be right in front of you, only to end up directly behind you just within the time it takes you to blink once. And he’ll always be standing in the exact same position. Looking at you with the exact same gaze- the exact same eyes.

The first few times it happened, you began to sputter. Once was a fluke. Twice…could also be explained as a fluke. Three times was certainly a mystery. Six times, you were rightfully freaked out and ready to start accusing him of witchcraft (it’s only natural- no man should even be as charming as he is, anyway). But by this time? A time that you couldn’t even name because you had stopped counting a while ago? Your eyes were starting to get tired with just how much you had been rolling them. 

But, you know better than to question him on what he’s doing. You know that now, at least. Trial and error has taken you a long way despite the fact that all he would do is laugh and deny and laugh a little more anytime you tried to press him. So in the end, you find yourself relenting with a sigh, all while trying to hide the pout that threatens to overtake your expression as you’re bested once again. But judging from the pleased-sounding chuckles that were coming from just behind you, you have a funny little feeling that you’re not hiding it as well as you would have liked. You heave yet another sigh.

Some part of you is starting to regret the fact that you’ve been getting a whole lot of his undivided attention. Just a small part though. A part that somehow gets even smaller every time you catch his eye and remember just how handsome he is. 

You’re in for a long day, you’re sure of it.

Still, it’s undeniable that you’ve been enjoying yourself. You’re in a magical place, standing by a magical man, and tasting so many magical things. Although his little disappearing act has gotten old, the past couple minutes or so since Mr. Gojo turned off the flirting long enough for you to start wandering around have made everything absolutely worth it. Because every once in a while, you would find yourself with something new in your hands. Sometimes, you would even pick up the occasional little pebble or stones and plop them in your mouth only to find that different colors taste like different things. At any given moment, there’s a hint of fruit or a taste of liquor dancing around your tongue. Rum and Raspberries. Whiskey and Watermelon. Gin and surprisingly enough, grape. But not purple favoring- actual grape. 

And when you were done with rocks and the huge variety of flavor that had to offer, you began to move onto different things- a little higher and bigger and more varied in appearance: the plants.

As you took bites at tree branches and leaves that tasted like licorice and mint, Mr. Gojo would pass to you gummy flower petals and literal sour vines. One that would occasionally include the undertones of different flavors of honey like buckwheat and cinnamon and blackberries. Almost as if there once was a beehive right on that tree, dripping its honey right onto the vine. If there weren’t so many things to explore, you probably would have circled back to where Mr. Gojo pulled the vine off its tree for you and tried to see if there really was a beehive there. The image of a little beehive somehow producing a slow and steady trail of honey that tastes just like favorite things was enough to make the smile already on your face so wide that your cheeks began to hurt.

And through it all, Mr. Gojo was right there. 

Well, it was more so that he was just lingering a couple steps behind and off to the side. Making himself scarce (but not too scarce), much to your surprise.

When he first asked if you would take him with you as you set out to explore this candy-filled utopia, you figured you would standing rather close to you at all times. If his arm was linked with yours, you at least imagined that he’d try to brush up against your shoulder as he walked side by side- letting you take the lead while still offering to your personal tour guide. That’s what you thought would happen.

But surprisingly, he relented. Just a little bit, at least. He had let you walk off on your own before following a few paces behind you, rather than walking and standing by your side as he did in the past. You found it rather odd at first, of course. He had been rather touchy and comfortable with you for the longest time. But every time you would look towards him with a question on your tongue, he would always just gesture to keep going forward. To keep exploring. He said to you that he knew this place like the back of his hand- it was time for you to discover it, not him. 

And you won’t lie. Hearing him say that did cause your heart to skip a beat. It was thoughtful of him to soften up on the teasing just a bit in favor of letting you enjoy yourself. But the way he said it? The way his melodic voice rolled over you? It filled you with a warm and dizzying feeling that made it really hard to think or form words or even blink for a few good moments. And that type of power is dangerous. You can’t recall that ever happening to you before, either. Not even when you had that crush on Nanami during your first two years of working at the diner. The crush you made yourself swear you would forget when you realized the man was only ever going to be married (albeit, unhappily) to his work. 

Although now that think about it, you are starting to see a bit of resemblance between Head Chef Nanami and Mr. Gojo. Both handsome. Both tall. Both are powerful (in their own respective ways), older men who spend way too much at work. In fact, now that you think about it…you wonder how the two of them would fare together…

Wait, you’re starting to lose yourself. Have you been staring at him this whole time? Is he laughing at you like that because you’ve been staring at him this whole time? Where were you again? 

Mr. Geto’s birthday present for your brother. Yuuta’s Golden Ticket. The Gojo Factory. A Garden made entirely out of candy. Right.

Anyway, Mr. Gojo allowed you some space. He allowed you some space to wander and trail off and explore. But it wasn’t like he was completely detached from you. When he wasn’t randomly showing up a couple feet away from where you swear he was supposed to be only moments before, he would still linger just a few paces back. Close enough to step in if you needed him to in just a few short seconds. Close enough that you could practically feel his presence just buzzing away behind you, constantly drawing your attention, even when you know you’re supposed to be taking in the beauty of the little world made entirely out of candy in front of you. 

And of course, there was the occasional moment where he would stand right behind you and peer over your shoulder, sending shivers all down your spine as his breath ghosts over your neck. And there were also those few times he had placed his hand on the small of your back to direct you somewhere he thought you would enjoy. Almost like it was instinct- like it was natural between the two of you.

Even now as you try to distract yourself by admiring the pretty row of yellow flowers shaped like teacups in front, your face warms up at the memory. Through it all, he was always there to answer your every little question. And he was acting no less gentle or patient with you compared to when you had first stepped foot inside this room. Always so attentive. Always so caring. Always so willing to put up with just about every little thing you were curious about. And safe to say, it was a lot.

What was the name of that flower? 

Is the dirt beneath the grass also made of candy? 

How on earth did you happen to make that tree? 

Is everything with white and red stripes supposed to taste like peppermint? 

What even is the purpose of a room such as this?

“To show it off, of course.” His answer to your last question came easily as if the answer was supposed to be obvious. “Every good host needs a place to entertain their guests.”

To be fair, in most cases that would be the most obvious answer. As far as you’re concerned, people rarely built things this large and this grand and this magical just to keep it hidden away from all of time. But, Mr. Gojo is a special case in your opinion. Because no one has been in his factory. And you’re fairly certain that even if there are people outside these walls who have been inside the factory before, no one has ever been to this room. You’re absolutely sure there would have been rumors and whispers of a place this breathtaking. There’s no way that anyone could keep this a secret. There’s just no way.

“Oh,” You respond simply. It didn’t feel quite like your place to mention how it’s hard for you to imagine a man as reclusive as he has been over these past few years to care so much about having a place to entertain guests. Especially since he’s been a bit much with some of the guests he’s been hosting so far. Your best option probably was to avoid saying that. So, you did. “So, you always planned on having visitors come to the factory?”

“I did, yes,” A small, almost melancholic smile tugged at Mr. Gojo’s lips as he spoke. But then a second later, you saw his expression droop and a hint of sadness flash across his eyes. It a was surprising sort of vulnerability you hadn’t expected to see in this moment. After all, this man was nearly all smiles all the time. But as you peer up at him, watching the normally so unapologetically bright and bold man’s lips part and quiver as he takes time to pick his next words carefully, you remind yourself that as rich and as powerful as he is, he’s still a person (a person who is far richer and more successful than you’ll ever be, but still). Just a person. “This place gets lonely sometimes, you know.”

You don’t know, personally. But you can imagine it. 

You can imagine it perfectly well. Even from the tone of his voice alone, you can imagine it. Because his confession feels honest. No, not feel- it is honest. Raw, even- like it’s not something he would admit to just about anyone. That said, the look on his face is still a bit guarded. Any sadness that his expression held had quickly passed in the past few seconds, as the man before you covered it up all with a simple shrug and a handsome, easy-going little smile that looked and felt a bit tighter than you’re used to. Though you’re not surprised by that. Mr. Gojo never seems to be without a smile for very long- real or fake. And at the end of the day, no matter how much he flirts with you on this tour, the two of you are just strangers. Strangers who have gotten very close over the past hour or so, but strangers nonetheless. There’s no need for anyone to tear down any walls and invite strangers into their hearts. Not just yet. 

At that thought, now feels like a good time for another pivot. And luckily enough for you, he seems to almost instinctively give you his undivided attention whenever you ask for it. Something, you may just have to keep taking advantage of for as long as you’re in his factory.

“Maybe you could open up for more tours in the future!” You try suggesting, a big and bright smile on your face to help emphasize just how strongly you feel about this idea. This is yet another moment where you discover just how helpful your customer service skills are. The smile you gave is undoubtedly a waitress's smile. Specifically, it the one you give when you’re you’re apologizing for running out of a customer’s favorite dessert and have to he,p them pivot to the next closest option on the menu. It’s a smile and a placating attitude that usually works- especially now that you’re very good at what to say. But it helps that you’re almost sure an idea like this has probably passed by in his mind. But perhaps a little reminder would be helpful. After all, things on still tour have been going…well enough so far! So maybe a successful test-run tour is just what needs today to convince himself to open up the factory more in the future. “I just there are tons of kids all over the world who would love to visit a place like this!”

At your words, Mr. Gojo’s face twisted up in grimance, like he had just tasted something nasty. He was following you along perfectly for a while. Up until the second you said the word “kids,” actually. But that’s where the idea seemed to go all wrong for him. 

“This place doesn’t get that lonely.” He tells you, the curl in his lip and minor look of disgust refusing to drop despite his best efforts to not be so explicit in his turning down of your idea. But then his face relaxes and his eyes soften as he hears you laughing at his reaction, just a few seconds later. And soon enough, he’s right there, laughing alongside you. 

You suppose you should have expected that sort of response from him. He didn’t exactly seem too fond of all of the kids here (or their guardians for that matter), but it’s not that you could blame him. It certainly feels no different than spending a ridiculously long time serving a table with kids who are due for either a good scolding or a quick lesson in manners or even both. But it’s probably been years since he had last been with children around the same age as the ones in your group. And the ones here haven’t exactly showcased the most likable behavior all the time. 

So you suppose you should count yourself as lucky. Or rather, count yourself as even luckier than you thought you were before. Because not only are you here, in what you feel like is practically the most exclusive place on earth due to some stranger chance present and your brother’s unbelieve moment of striking gold, but you’re also in Mr. Gojo’s good grace. No, more than that- you’re in his favor. Something that seems so easy, yet so hard at the same time. 

But it helps that you have a likable little brother. One that’s polite and well-mannered and pretty adorable when he wants to be. And you’re sure that the sweater dress you’re in is pretty flattering on you, despite the fact that you and your family must have torn up half the house looking for it. And dare you say, it might even have a little something to do with the fact your face is also quite pretty. It’s nothing compared to the ethereal beauty that is Mr. Gojo. but you would be lying if you said you thought you had absolutely no skin in the game. 

Too many scribbled phone numbers on the receipts left in your receipt book have told you so. But that’s not the point.

The point is that you like being in this position. It’s impossible to deny. When one of the kids and chaperones makes a loud sound in some other part of the garden, Mr. Gojo will always look at it with a glare. But before he turns back to you, he’ll let his face soften into a smile and apologize for getting distracted. He’ll point out all his favorite little spots and the plants and trees and landmarks that he’s most proud of creating while pressing you into his side and occasionally kissing the back of your hand. He’ll answer your every question and he’ll respond to your every comment and he’ll make you feel just so cared for. Like you’re more than just strangers. Like you’re truly something more. 

And having a perk like that in place? In a whole building dedicated to one of your favorite things in the whole world? The very thing you couldn’t even afford on most days? It makes you feel giddy. It makes you feel excited. It makes you feel powerful. And based on the way Mr. Gojo looks at you- looks for your smile and laughter and expression every time he speaks? 

You can’t help but wonder if that’s by design. You can’t help but wonder if he knows you feel that way too.

[ceedak]

can we get a ceedak timeline 🤔 i feel like there’s a lot idk abt them fr 😭😭

yes u absolutely can i could talk about them forever and ever 🥳🥳

disclaimer: i do wanna say this is just from what i’ve gathered because i didn’t become super fixated on nfl rpf until last year </3 one day i’ll do a legit deep dive like an insane person and update with all my findings…

second disclaimer: im delusional yes and a part of me straight up thinks that they’ve had to have hooked up at least once bc i love to psychoanalyze people i'll never meet but i’ll make sure to say when i’m being fully delusional KSDJFHSKDS

putting it under a read more because i’m sure it’ll be much longer than necessary

also i will reblog this and add links to some videos!!

SO before i get into like when ceedee was drafted and such i wanna talk about how invisible string coded they are because i love shit like this sm

both were born in louisiana only about an hour and a half apart from each other until ceedee moved to texas as a child after hurricane katrina hit (he’s said he’s moved around a couple of times as kid in interviews before)

dak went to mississippi st. in college and ceedee’s dream school was LSU (rival colleges… 🚬) but he had committed to oklahoma (also they wouldn’t have met or anything in college anyway because dak was drafted in 2016 and ceedee started playing in college in 2017 but i digress it makes my brain light up anyway lol)

when dak was drafted he was projected to go like late second round/early third round of the draft but 🗿 he got into some trouble beforehand (driving under the influence) and ended up falling to the 4th round (after the front office kept trying to trade up to get a different backup QB)

dak also had to compete for his spot as a backup and was named starter after romo was injured in 2016. this was dak’s rookie year and he led them to the playoffs - almost to the nfc championship game. after this he basically took the job from romo

okay so FAST FORWARD to the 2020 draft. ceedee was projected to go top 10 and he fell all the way to SEVENTEEN so the cowboys were able to grab him then (drafted bpa instead of for need)

idk all of this is just very <333 to me that so many things managed to fall into place just right and they managed to find each other on the same team out of THIRTY TWO teams it makes me weeeep 🤧 also just something else that i think is very cute because i truly am a little insane: ceedee was born april 8th and dak’s jersey number is 4 and ceedee’s is 88 so 4/8 ALL THE DOTS CONNECT SOMEHOW…

so we’ll go through a teensy bit about dak i suppose and then ceedee this won’t be too long

dak: baby of his family and has two brothers. his parents divorced when he was little and he was very close with his mom before she passed away in 2013 (he’s started a foundation since then for cancer research and suicide prevention/mental health). went to mississippi st, cowboys starter his rookie year, etc etc. he also lost his brother to suicide in 2020 and he’s said before he feels a responsibility to live on and carry his and his mom’s legacy throughout his life. he’s like suuuuuper underrated in the league i feel and a lot of cowboys fans are complete assholes to him all the time it makes me so mad cos they could literally never ever make me hate him - he makes me so weepy 😭😭😭 umm but yeah he’s donated a ton to children cancer funds too and donated during BLM protests and things like that - he won the walter payton man of the year award. he just had a baby and got engaged in october (remember for the yaoi LOL) ok im gonna stop here cause i don’t wanna rant too much lol

btw i know what you are dak prescott:

ceedee: MY BELOVED… my favorite my absolute favorite. he has two brothers and two little sisters. idk if he’s the eldest or not tbh i see different things all the time that he’s the second eldest whatever not that important i guess. so blah blah college blah blah - he wears 88 on the team because that’s considered really special to the cowboys franchise and is reserved for elite receivers. idk he’s the most beautiful man ever and he does a lot of donating too - i know he participates in a lot of football youth camps a lot to help kids out and he likes to provide meals to families around thanksgiving and christmas time. a loooot of cowboys fans have criticized him for not being that much of a leader and pouting a lot on the sidelines (which he does sometimes… my mimir) but i think this last season he’s reaaaaallyyy taken a step into more of a leader type position especially with dak being out and he’s proven himself more than enough. he LOOOVES spending money on clothes it’s so cute… gonna be a sad day when the class war happens and i’m faced with cedarian lamb. ummm i also legit think he’s gay and closet is made of glass but whatever

see this is the problem i never stfu but okay CEEDAK what you actually asked about ksjdksjdks

PRE-2020 SEASON: this was before ceedee was drafted (some stuff i found last night) and this is what i mean when i say i haven’t done like a deep dive into these things bc i’m sure there’s soo much more but this kinda gives the general vibes

“I was like a little kid at the playground,” CeeDee tells us. (on the first time Dak texted him to invite him over to his house, says it was surreal.) august 21, 2020

and i actually hunted the exact clip down where he says this: (will reblog with link - skip to 4:25 he talks for like a minute or so - sorry the audio’s funky it’s because of covid so all the reporters weren’t in the room i’m pretty sure) DELUSIONS: you can’t tell me ceedee wasn’t nursing a crush here idgaf

2020 SEASON:

ceedee’s rookie year

personal stuff happened with dak before the season started - this is when he lost his brother to suicide and he’s been really outspoken about mental health since then. on top of that he broke his ankle during week 5 of the season (and tried to snap it back into place by himself on the field). dak was performing on like a sort of insane level before the injury happened so </3 what could’ve been and all that… the what-ifs of it all… so that year they weren’t able to play together as much

Oct 11, 2020: “CeeDee Lamb said he texted Dak as soon as he got out of the shower. Thanked him for everything he’s done for him and they were gonna hold it down for him until they see him on the field again.” (after the game dak got hurt in)

POST 2020 SEASON:

"He came back from his second surgery about two months ago so he’s walking around, rehabbing, doing everything right," Lamb said Wednesday. "It’s great to see, especially when you seen him go down. You saw the look in his eyes and you saw how sad he was and how much this game meant to him. Just to see him smiling again, happy again, being with his guys is a great deal."

"First day he kind of caught me by surprise with his arm strength," Lamb said. "He knows the little nuances of the game to be better. He makes it easy to follow him, if you will."

2021 SEASON

ceedee’s second year, he was in a WR room with amari cooper (currently on the bills) and michael gallup (now retired) blah blah season happened whateverrrr but AFTER this season the front office (i’ll always be mad about this lol) traded amari to the browns for a 5th round pick 💀 hence THIS!!! which i consider the #Real beginning of ceedak:

“Dak Prescott asked for CeeDee Lamb’s locker to be moved next to his: ‘My two other locker mates left, so I was a little lonely. With him being young, hopefully he’s my WR until I’m done playing. Just bring him closer, more conversations, he’s right there to talk and communicate.’”

said he had no doubt ceedee could become his "main guy"

here’s some fun stuff i found from 2021 too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3hCmIZN-YI&ab_channel=DallasCowboys (7 min mark this was after a game winning td in overtime against new england)

“CeeDee Lamb on game-winning 35-yard TD: ‘It was the best feeling ever, honestly.’”

2022 SEASON:

https://youtu.be/T73xGDsFiVo?si=Qn_dwK1yfnHPiMya talks about dak here at 7:50 “all i need is him” 🤧

he’s actually said this a couple times lol he says shit like “we’re all we got” about each other - he’s said it this most recent season too so <3

dak injured his thumb this season though so he was out for like 7 weeks i think i can’t remember off the top of my head lol but again another season where they didn’t get to play much together

fun 2022 stuff:

“Last year, Cowboys caked Dak in the face on the field for his 28th birthday. On his 29th today, CeeDee told us they planned to do the same in the locker room. Hoped Dak would think he was safe after no cake on the field, and then locker room ambush.”

“Scene here: Dak was talking to us at his locker. CeeDee walks past wearing metallic red lens sunglasses indoors and eating chicken. Says the key to following up ass-kicking is ‘keep kicking ass.’”

“Dak on CeeDee’s vibe: Yeah, cool as hell - says ‘keep kicking ass’ while he’s eating.”

“Dak Prescott walked by during our interview with CeeDee Lamb - QB1: CeeDee’s that dude! / WR1: Happy birthday, Dak!”

link posted in reblog: skip to 2:30 he almost says he loves dak lol also very

2023: THE SEASON OF CEEDAK!!!

https://youtu.be/7_WRIzb5fPA?si=R0TETc2qtW0IOP5P the infamous "was gonna take him out for dinner tonight" clip is from this aka what got me hooked on ceedak lol (this interview is just so good in general i love ceedee sm - def recommend watching! such a nice look at his personality)

this is where my delusions take over i deadass think they hooked up at LEAST once around this time lol maybe end of 2022 season maybe early 2023 season IDK but anyway during this year the offense was soo wack for a couple of weeks until the bye week and then ceedee made some noise about it bc he felt like he wasn't being as utilized (which is true i'm so serious mccarthy was SUCH an annoying coach lol) but quotes:

“Cowboys WR CeeDee Lamb said Dak Prescott approached him and said: ‘If you have a problem with anything, just come up to me and we’ll talk about it.’ Lamb said he and Dak worked on getting on the same page their first day back in the building after the 49ers loss.”

Dak: ‘I mean, a frustrated player that feels like we all could’ve done better and feels like he can change the game, I understand it. I really do. So it’s in the sense of just communicating with him… CeeDee is a guy that I’ll never lose confidence in and trust who he is and understand why he’s frustrated. But at the end of the day, he’s a leader. It’s about him leading other guys and picking other guys up and him just trying to make sure we’re all pushing our best. That’s where the frustration is, we have to remove that. And he will. He’s a young player that’s growing by the day and he’ll only get better. He’ll be better because of that.’

but after they switched the offense around dak and ceedee went craaaazyyy - ceedee was named all pro, dak was in mvp talks (should have won it to be honest i'm sorry lamar i still love you <3) but 2023 cowboys will seriously haunt me forever lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sudQu72KDXs&ab_channel=NFLonFOX

DELUSIONS: dak announced he was having a baby like two weeks after this game SO let’s just say…. maybe…. perhaps… they were hooking up… ceedee probably knew before the public did - not saying that’s why he seems a little upset at the beginning of this clip cause who knows 🤷‍♀️ like i said DELUSIONS but… i can’t help it when the timeline timelines don’t shoot the messenger

also i do wanna mention that dak’s fiance follows a loooot of cowboys players on ig but she does not follow ceedee and he doesn’t follow her AGAIN just delusions…. but… iykyk 👀

sooo they were poppin off in 2023, ceedee was breaking records and shit, won nfc east, went to the playoffs and then i DON'T wanna talk about it i have my theories about wtf happened during that playoffs packers game but 💀💀 anyway the offseason before the 2024 season was genuinely the worst of my life because BOTH ceedee and dak had to get extended and jerry jones (who is the worst) waited until after training camp to get them both signed lol so ceedee wasn't participating in training camp at all which affected them in the beginning of the 2024 season which was a complete mess A MESS but here's some fun stuff after ceedee signed his extension/during that offseason

“Remarkable. That’s who CeeDee Lamb is. … He’s special. He’s just getting going and as long as I’m here, he’s gonna keep stacking these records year after year.”

“CeeDee Lamb strongly defended Dak: No one deserves the criticism that he gets. The way he gets talked about is crazy.”

2023-2024 OFFSEASON:

worst months of my life lol ceedee was holding out for his new contract and didn’t get it signed until like… august i think? anddd dak was signed fucking three hours before kickoff the first week of the season lol i HATE this front office

but here’s some fun quotes after ceedee was signed:

CeeDee Lamb: “We were texting quite a bit. Obviously I missed being out there, competing with him… for is being so in tune together and all it takes is one text message or one conversation, one phone call… for us both… having the same passion for the game, same love for the game. I want what’s best for Dak and vice versa. Shout out to him too for getting that bag, too. We’ll be together for the next five years.”

Dak Prescott on CeeDee Lamb’s added muscle weight: “He’s wearing a lot more sleeveless shirts. As long as the speed is there, and it looks like it is (in practice), I’m fine with however big he is.” LMAO??

Dak Prescott: “I peeped the biceps. He’s wearing more sleeveless shirts now.”

Dak Prescott recently on CeeDee Lamb: “He’s talented. He works hard. He’s special. He’s the best receiver in the league for a reason. And I’ve seen Instagram videos. I know you’ve seen him. He’s working. And he works hard. So I have no angst, no worries about when he gets here that we’re not going to pick up where we left off. And when you're a stud like that and you’re smart like he is and you’re good at communicating, that makes that process that much easier. So it’s not like we’ve got to build something. We’ve got that. We just got to reignite it when he gets here.”

on how much ceedee worked with dak at the field at dak’s house even though he was staying away from the team: “Often. I would say quite often. Anytime that I’m back in town, and he’s obviously back here, I hit him and then… it’s very… good having a rich quarterback.”

Dak Prescott’s thoughts on the tandem of him and CeeDee Lamb being compared to legendary duos like Joe Montana and Jerry Rice: “I think that says a lot just cause we’ve only done it for four years and you just named some of those duos that did it for their whole careers. But then again, I feel like we can be better than all of them… so love the comparisons, they sound good and all, but hopefully one day people are saying these next duos and next tandems can be like me and CeeDee.” (i will kms over this quote one day)

i’m sure there’s things i’m missing but this is already sooooo long lol so

2024 SEASON:

WORST SEASON OF MY LIFEEEEEE / ceedak angst era

the front office set this team up to fail and let like a ton of players walk in the offseason, didn’t use free agency, injury riddled team, had a bunch of rookies starting but anyway just gonna go game by game really quick because this is when i was locked tf in and it’s more recent so ?? more detail seems alright when it's necessary also i wrote so many half-finished post-game fics this season to cope with how terrible it was i’m cryingggg it was insane

cowboys vs browns: i was at this game :) good game they won

cowboys vs saints: blocked this game out actually!!!

cowboys vs ravens: fake ass comeback also the game ceedee CRASHED OUT on the field lskdjslkdjsskjdsk which is so funny bc i literally love lamar sm and was so excited to watch but… my players wanted to make me MISERABLE

this was said a day or two after the game by ceedee (bc he fumbled during it and then wasn't there for post game media people andddd was yelling at dak on the sideline 🗿)

“Our relationship has, if anything, gotten stronger. Don’t let what, what’s out there fool you. We’re brothers to the end. We know that we all we got, and I tip my hat off to him. I got the utmost respect for him.”

“So with that being said, everything is gonna come out - the energy, the passion, the love, the fight - and then we’ll make up in the end. So no, no craziness now. Don’t.”

dak also said something about his rhythm with ceedee being a “rare feeling” which… okay internalized homophobia but i CANNOT for the life of me find the actual quote i’ve searched through my gallery but it’s not there </3 if i find i’ll add later (i’m pretty sure it was after the baltimore game but i can’t remember)

cowboys vs giants: this is a tremicah game no need to mention ceedak idt - nasty ugly win but whatever

cowboys vs steelers: dak prescott giving me a heart attack 12 fucking times during this game

cowboys vs lions: don’t wanna talk about it! i’m a hater! always will be sorry!!! ben johnson statpadding on my sorry ass terrible team i was SICKKKKK

BYE WEEK: my trials and tribulations…. my nfl rpf…

CeeDee Lamb on getting in some extra work with Dak Prescott during their bye week: “We love our bye weeks. We took advantage of it. We got right. We used every opportunity to get better and I feel like it’s going to show. We got on some routes, and obviously the timing is everything. We needed that.”

now ummm this is the week dak got engaged so. which is really funny because after the announcement post on ig ceedee went GHOST on instagramksjdjks like i went back to check because i’m crazy (these are delusions btw) and he had been posting like once a week… maybe once every two weeks PRETTY consistently like for at least a couple of months but after the engagement happened there was pretty much nothing for like… almost two months?? ummm which AGAIN i’m not saying anything i’m not insinuating anything buuuuut…… buuuuut….. also it’s really fucking funny because in this same interview ceedee dropped that he left the country during the bye week but didn’t post it on socials at all so i’m like ohhhh… you’re coping w the engagement… i see LMAO anyway

cowboys vs 49ers: sigghhhh….. lets get into it

SO this was a loss but two ceedee touchdowns.. i’m leaving with something!!!

“Yeah, I found CeeDee,” Prescott said when reflecting back on Lamb’s breakout in the Bay Area. “He did a good job of getting open, running all of his routes hard no matter where he was, if he was the one or if he was backside on a concept. Loved his intentionality in the game. He kind of said something like that to me during the game, midway through the game, like ‘Yeah, we’re back.’ And that was before, I think, his two touchdown drives. So just him even playing with that confidence, communicating that, it gives me a lot of confidence.”

super hopeful right maybe they'll really connect again and things'll be fine LOL

cowboys vs falcons: worst game ever dak tore his hamstring off the bone like a fucking idiot and ceedee sprained his AC joint and would not stop going back out into the game i was ready to kms

cowboys vs eagles: not talking about it idc

cowboys vs texans: loss because ofc but whatever ceedak hugged before the game tho so i didn’t gaf about the loss - i can’t find the clip rn but if i do i’ll post it

cowboys vs commanders: this is when i accepted they were tanking and then they decided to just be elite for whatever reason lol made me so happy though ceedee was so happy <33

cowboys vs giants: whatever

cowboys vs bengals: worst fucking game of my life nothing to do with ceedak but one of my other fave player’s (i also ship him w ceedee idgaf) knee EXPLODED so that was so much fun to deal with

cowboys vs panthers: i still can’t believe bryce young decided to forget how to play football in this game im crying

cowboys vs tampa: again they just wanted to be elite for whatever reason

cowboys vs: eagles: don’t wanna talk about it idc

cowboys vs commanders: WHATEVER thanks for the 12th draft pick ashton jeanty you will be a cowboy

SO. that’s basically where everything's at lmfao worst season EVERRRRR with ceedak ANGST um but yeah hopefully 2025 will be better... i’m cautiously optimistic because their old coach is finally FINALLY gone because he was really limiting them and their ability you know? 2023 season was amazing and then 2024 started and it was like… mccarthy just reverted back to his old scheme that wasn’t working. it was really annoyingksdkskds. but the new coach (despite it seeming like a silly hire) had a decent press conference (that ceedee didn’t attend bc he was playing around in paris LOL) andddd he seems to be setting up a nice staff around him so hopefully hopefully hopefully 2025 is a lot better and ceedak will save me again… can’t wait for training camp omg

anyway if u read all this i’m SO sorry i hope it’s… expansive enough?? i wanted to include kind of how it’s been through the years and i had a lot more to add for 2023/2024 because that’s when my adhd was just like Yea let’s hyperfixate on this so. been stuck here for awhile and i’ll probably be stuck here for years and years and years <3

[twin-tailss]

@sonic-au-collision

CIRCUIT BOARDS AU

BOOK 1, CHAPTER 1

Swift (Sonic) has always been the fastest cyborg around. He has also always served the chaos councils every whim since his parents sold him to them- or, more specifically, Mr. Dr. Eggman- when he was five years old. He’s thirteen now. He’s known for a long time that there wasn’t an escape and trying to would only get him hurt worse.

All of that would change when he was chasing a two-tailed little criminal through the subways of new yoke and he got hit by a train- literally.

NEXT

READ BELOW! ⬇️ OR IN THE LINK ABOVE

Chasing. That’s what Swift was doing when he was hit- chasing a criminal. Watching, as he had hundreds of times, his own body running without him, chasing someone who didn’t quite fit into the Chaos Council's idea of perfect.

Would he be doing this if he had a choice? He didn’t think so, but he wouldn’t know- he hadn’t been himself for a single moment in eight years. Eight years ago, he had been turned into nothing but a killing machine for the Council. It had been a long time since he gave up on escaping, trapped in his own body.

The criminal he was chasing through the subway was a golden fox kit. He couldn’t be any older than five. Swift felt bad for him, but he had long since abandoned the feeling of guilt, and empathy had been programmed out of him, so it wasn’t as if he was going to be able to magically stop chasing the child through sheer force of will.

Miles “Nine” Prower, civilian code 381–082. Guilty of rebelling against the Council's orders. Brilliant. Destructive. Extremely quick. Be on guard at all times. His brain spat out easily. The small, agile fox darted around a corner and Swift was quick to follow him. He was mildly impressed- no one had ever been able to keep up with him before, but here was this fox child- keeping ahead of him with fluid ease. It was… mortifying, to say the least.

It didn’t matter. In the end he would catch the fox, just like everyone else who had ever stood in the councils way. Then he would submit to the Council’s rule. Maybe making machines for them, if they were as smart as the council believed. Or dead and thrown onto the side of the road on the off chance they weren’t as smart as the Council thought they were. That felt blasphemous. Was it? He didn’t know, and holy shit he had bigger problems right now-

Blinding light scorched his eyes as the train slammed into him, agony shooting through him like a lightning bolt, white-hot and nearly blinding. His mouth wrenched open in a silent scream as his body slammed against the cold metal. Fuck, fuck! The agony wrenched through his bones, down to the very depths of his soul. There was this god-awful noise as metal hit metal and his body scraped against the track, and then there was nothing as his mind slipped away from him- simply darkness.

—————————————————————————

Had it decapitated him? Was he dead? Hah- That would be a mercy, with a ‘life’ like his. A mercy he wasn't lucky enough to have. Or was he just unconscious? Was he about to wake up and be yelled at by Mr. Doctor Eggman, or worse, Doctor Done-It for failing to capture the fox? He knew he should’ve been on guard, but they were so small, and he had faced off against people about twenty times bigger and stronger and he had been just fine. They hadn't given him nearly as much trouble, even the highest-profile ones. He really didn’t want to watch his body groveling at one of the doctor's feet, begging for forgiveness again. It was just as humiliating as they intended it to be.

Something was shoving his mechanical arm. It had pushed over onto his mostly mechanical body, but he could feel it as it brushed against his quills. He didn’t move. Maybe they would leave him alone if they thought he was asleep. Hah, maybe the Council wouldn’t lecture him if he was in a coma.

A small hand pushed against his face, poking him. Doctor Babble, maybe? So it probably wasn’t a lecture in store for him. Maybe he had fallen asleep while being forced to babysit them. Maybe it was all some awful dream. His eyes slid open with a quiet groan…

This was not the capital of New Yoke City. He knew that instantly, the moment he opened his eyes. The colors were all wrong. The ground was too hard. He wasn’t in the capital, which probably meant one of the citizens had woken him up so he could continue chasing the criminal. He knew some people believed that Council's rule was best, as that was all they had ever known, but he hadn’t met any yet. They were usually law-abiding citizens that he was never sent after except for false reports of heinous crimes.

“Hello?” the voice wormed into his ears as they stopped ringing. Young, about the age of the criminal he was supposed to be chasing, he assumed. His whole body ached, and he didn’t want to get up, but he had to, or he would face punishment from the Council. He turned his head towards them, and if he had a heart anymore it certainly would’ve stopped beating at that exact moment.

Golden fur. Two tails. Blue eyes. This was Nine, the five-year-old child he was chasing- the one who had tricked him into running straight into an oncoming train. Had they decided to turn themselves in? That was the only reasonable explanation, wasn’t it? Maybe the kid was as smart as they said, but they likely weren't if they would do that after damaging the chaos councils favorite pet.

“Oh, you’re awake. Good. Check if your weapons systems are online.” Was he asking him to kill him? Hah, now that would be a mercy, but then the Council would probably tear him apart and put him back together for going overkill in his mission and killing a ‘potentially valuable asset’, so that was not happening.

His arm raised to point at the ceiling without even thinking about it and attempted to fire off a plasma blast. It didn’t work. He tried again. Again. His weapons systems were definitely offline. What had this child done to him? A chill went up his spine, and he swallowed. He couldn’t defend himself without his weapons. He couldn’t do anything without his weapons. He was entirely helpless.

“They are non-functional. I must go to a workshop and get them fixed.” His body stood up without him, as it always did. This was not the subway, he realized. It was some kind of workshop. It had a big computer in one corner, and the floors were littered with inventions of all kinds. It was messy and would surely be hard to walk through without stepping on anything and possibly breaking it.

“No, you’re staying right here. They were intentionally disabled.” His body stopped moving as they spoke, about halfway to the door. What? He turned around, watching the two-tailed fox. How is this possible?

“But why?” That wasn’t the question Swift felt like he should be asking, but fine. “I need them to be useful. That is my purpose.”

“So you can’t kill me.” Hah, Swift could still kill him, if he wanted to. If he had to. He didn't particularly like killing, but he had no choice. He had to obey his orders. He could imagine bones cracking underneath his metal foot, the fox’s neck captured in his hands, unable to breathe. In fact, why was that not happening right now? He couldn’t kill him, as his mission was capture, but Swift could still harm him enough that he would be unable to fight back. That’s what he had expected to happen, but he wasn’t attacking the fox- in fact, he was listening to him! What in the world?

“Your new purpose is to be company. A friend, I guess.” The foolish fox shrugged, as if the very thought of Swift- a killing machine for the council, a robot that most feared and few loved- being friends with a criminal he had been ordered to capture was not laughable. If Swift could laugh, he would be rolling on the floor right now.

“But why? I am supposed to be nothing more than a killing machine for the Council.” Swift hated those words, even if they were true. That’s all he was. Even if he was set free somehow, he would probably still follow their orders, as it was all he had ever known.

“Well, not anymore.” The tiny fox grabbed his metal hand in one of their paws, bringing him back down to the ground where he was before. Surprisingly, his body didn’t fight him. He had expected bones to be breaking the moment the fox had touched him, but it did not seem as if he could hurt him.

“Now, you’re my assistant slash friend slash… whatever else I can think of.” There was something else going on here, but it didn’t make sense to Swift’s brain. He just couldn’t put the pieces together, probably because he was usually surrounded by four geniuses- Doctor Babble not included- who usually put the pieces together before he could even start using his brain.

His eyes fluttered shut. “New directive accepted.” his voice droned out robotically. Swift wished he could recoil in shock. What the actual hell? Only an admin could change his directive-

Oh. The pieces clicked together, and an emotion he had long since abandoned welled up inside of him. Hope. A glimmer of hope. This insanely stupid, yet at the same time extremely brilliant fox hacked me. I have to follow his orders now.

…Hopefully, it would be better than being there. It seemed as if it would be, with his new directive. To be… a friend. A barely there glimmer of anticipation flicked to life in his chest. He had never had a friend before.

“Good.” A tiny smile crawled its way onto Nine’s face. Swift watched him for a moment, wondering what was going to come out of his own mouth. The silence felt as if it stretched on for a thousand years, becoming more awkward with every passing second. Swift had never experienced an awkward silence before, not that he could remember at least, probably because he had never had a real conversation since he was sold to Eggman, Mr. Doctor Eggman, specifically, before he had figured out how to make those five copies of himself. Before he had found the shard. Before… everything. There wasn’t any need to talk to the people he had to capture, and those who tried to talk with him usually shut up pretty quickly when his laser blaster was pointed at them

“Who are you?” He asked after waiting for god knows how long for him to just say something. He already knew who he was, of course, but he was just trying to end the awkward silence already.

“I’m Miles Prower, Civilian Code 381-082. Chosen name Nine.” They respond. “You?”

“Nice to meet you, Nine.” It wasn’t nice to meet him, but this… was nice, for however long it lasted. He wondered when it would all go bad. “I am Ogilvie Maurice Hedgehog, former Civilian Code 128-791, chosen name Swift.”

“Whoa, that’s messed up.” Nine breathed out, his eyes widening in shock. A tiny paw reached out and brushed over some of his real quills, pulling back immediately as he felt just how not-metal they were. “How did the Chaos Council do this to you?”

“I do not have the clearance to access that information.” They didn’t want him to remember that. Sometimes… it made him wonder if they did care about him after all. He knew they didn’t, logically. But sometimes he still wondered. Wondered what it would be like if they did care about him. Wondered what it would be like if his parents cared about him. Wondered what it would be like if even one single person had cared about him in his thirteen long years of living. How different his life would be if anyone had ever been there for him.

The fox stared at him with immense pity in their sky-blue eyes. He wondered absentmindedly if it counted as sky blue anymore. He could remember when the skies were blue, instead of the reddish color they were now. He remembered being so proud of being the same color as the sky. Now, he wondered if that color exists anywhere else but himself and the ocean. It’s not as if there are any flowers left.

“Okay.” the fox managed out through the knot in their throat. “Is the person you used to be still conscious, or are you just a robot?” He stared at them for a moment, considering the question, mulling it over in his mind. Could he be considered more than a robot, even if he were conscious, if the programming controlled every aspect of himself and his personality? He didn’t know, but Nine was waiting for a response. He decided to go with the one he believed would please them.

“I am conscious.” it was technically the truth- he was conscious, after all. He was a being with his own thoughts and feelings, but the programming dictated his thoughts and emotions and he was unable to disobey when an admin gave him an order. That only seemed to make Nine seem more horrified, though.

“That's even more fucked.” He wished he wasn’t programmed to be unable to laugh at that moment- Mr. Doctor Eggman had always found his laugh annoying, so he had decided to program away his ability to laugh. He had cried a lot that day. He cried a lot more than now back then. He wondered if it was another change to his coding. It didn’t matter. He was whoever the admins wanted him to be, and that was that. It had always been that way. “I don’t know how to undo all the programming, at least not yet. Programming language isn’t one I use often.”

Alarm slammed through him. He… what? No, he can’t. He couldn’t be without it. He didn’t know who he was, or would be without it. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to know who he would be without it. He was perfectly fine as himself, even without his own brain. He was happy this way. Or at least, he was perfectly fine the way he was. Shit, what did he do?

“Why would you do that?” His voice was perfectly calm, smooth, and robotic, as it always is. He couldn’t change the tone of his voice. He couldn’t show any emotion. He was not supposed to be anything more than a killing machine. In fact, he wasn’t supposed to have feelings, period. He should go and get it fixed- but he couldn’t do that.

“You don’t know where I’m located. Returning your bodily autonomy wouldn’t do me any harm, plus the Chaos Council wouldn’t remove the bodily autonomy of someone who wants to work for them.” Nine’s words are reasonable, but he couldn’t accept them. He also knew he couldn’t really argue against them because he made himself an admin.

“I am a cyborg.” he tried anyway. “I was once a hedgehog, but I am no longer. I am fine the way I am.” Am I? A tiny voice in his head spoke up. Or is this contentment with who they made me into programmed into me as well? He intentionally smothered the voice. If it was, it would be nice of them to think of his emotions- which he wasn’t supposed to have, so shh. It was pointless to think of that anyway. It didn’t help him.

“Is that the real you talking, or the programming?” Nine asks easily. His fingers curled into a fist and he glanced down at the ground. He was trying to cover up any emotions, like normal, but it was harder because the feelings were much less muted than before. Something must’ve come loose with that hit. He should go back to get his brain fixed, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t about to admit that he… didn’t know, anymore. He didn’t want the fox to give him that look again- as if he was a weak little thing that needed support. He hated that look more than anything.

“I have not been without it for many years, since my power first developed and my parents sold me to Mr. Doctor Eggman.” He was being completely honest- at least, he believed he was. He didn’t… think, or at least, didn’t want to think that they could change his memories. They could lock away his memories, sure, but changing them… he didn’t want to think about the fact that the few nice things he could remember could’ve never actually happened. He swallowed slightly around the lump that formed in his throat. He blinked away any tears that may have welled up from that train of thought, hopefully before Nine realized that they existed. “There is no difference anymore.” something happens to my voice, and for a moment it feels as if I can’t breathe. I don’t know why, I don’t know what's going on. I don’t like this.

“Wow.” He could barely keep himself from glaring at the fox, his teeth gritting. Wow. Was that really all he had to say? Was he impressed with what they had done to him? Was- “even more fucked. What do you need to survive?”

He stared at the child, his brain trying and failing to make sense of the question. Why in all the circles of whatever hell awaited him once he passed from this mortal plane would they not know? It was obvious. He needed food and water, just as anyone else. He wasn’t- he… well. He couldn’t exactly just lie and say that he wasn’t a monster, could he?

“The same as any other living being, as I am still technically alive.” He informed him, his voice monotone. He had always hated his voice, as far back as he could remember, but he felt as if there was a time he couldn’t remember when he had loved it, but it had been a long time since he had heard it doing anything but throwing out slimy threats and insults and droning out orders on the Council’s behalf. “Meaning food, water and exercise.”

“Got it.” Nine walked over to his workbench, bobbing his head in a nod. Swift watched him silently as he sat down, getting something out. It was some kind of plug. He wondered what it was for. Nine got up again and started walking back over to him.

“What would you like me to help with?” He asked, trying to fill the silence again. He didn’t really care what Nine wanted out of him. He just… needed his programming. He couldn’t allow someone to take it away from him, it was all he had. The only thing that had been consistent throughout most of his life- other than the Chaos Council- but he wouldn’t mind losing them as much.

“Just answer any questions I ask for now. How old are you?” He paused, trying to think back to the last time his birthday was celebrated. When he was five, he thought. How many years ago was that? Eight, right. So he was probably thirteen. The fox was watching him, waiting for his answer.

“I believe I am thirteen.” he spoke after another long and awkward moment. The other watched him carefully for another moment, taking in that information with the fact he had paused, and Swift rushed to fill the silence. “Last time my age mattered, I was five. I had to figure out how many years it had been since then.”

The fox looks at him like that again. With pity in his eyes. He didn’t need to be pitied. He didn’t need to be pitied. He hated it when people pitied him or felt bad for him. It felt as if they didn’t take him seriously. Him, of all mobians they could possibly not take seriously! Chaos.

“I’m five.” the fox responds after another long moment of awkward silence that seemed to drag on for years. He found that he absolutely despised awkwardness. It had a way of crawling under his skin and making him feel uneasy, which happened to be another feeling he hated.

“Why do you feel the need to take away my programming?” he spoke up after another long, awkward silence.

“I’m curious on how it works, and I want to know what you’ll be like without the programming. Stay still.” Swift swallows hard as the fox starts moving the plug towards his head. That must be how he had hacked him. No one was supposed to know about that panel except for Mr. Doctor Eggman.

“But what if I don’t want it gone?” Swift speaks up quickly before he can stop himself. The fox stares at him as if he just told him that the sky was blue, or that this whole place was one grassy meadow.

“Doesn’t matter.” They say. “I want it gone, and we have no idea whether or not not wanting it gone is part of the programming. We’ll find out soon anyway.” he gritted his teeth, glaring at the ground as they open up the panel. Hah, ironic- he had never gotten a say in anything that had happened in his life, and now he wasn’t getting a say in the very thing stopping him from having a say getting removed. He tried to calm himself down as the fox plugged him in and went back to his computer, where there was now a plethora of code in place of the blank screen that had been there earlier. He could adapt to this. He could adapt to anything… in fact, if he deleted too much, he could capture this idiotic fox and go back there to get himself fixed.

Go back there? Oh god, what am I thinking?! He blinked a few times. There was something horribly, awfully wrong with him if he was legitimately thinking of returning there when he had a choice not to, just to get reprogrammed.

…He didn’t need to be awake for this. For them rummaging around in his brain and taking away his coding. He rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep the best he could to the sound of Nine clicking away on his computer. After who knows how long, his mind floated off into nothing and he was asleep.

(I wrote this back in 2022, lol. I’m much better at writing now, but hopefully this is still good! Tell me what you think if you want too ^^)

[sugarcubeindulgent]

hihi I just wanted to quickly tell you that I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way you write for Pete. You capture him extremely well and I love the things you write abt him!! 🩷

anywho- this is a very cheesy and stereotypical request but how would Pete go about having an S/O that's very soft and timid? probably very sweet and gets shy easily too. I desperately need to know how he would feel about that because opposite personality dynamics are one of my favorite things ever.

giving you a bouquet of flowers. -🐰🎀anon

thank you, so much, anon you are so cutie pie <3 i feel a drabble of response may be best for this !

i feel like pete would enjoy being around someone who is more shy and reserved. pete dinunzio is not shy, he's just some freaky, perverted geek at his core. with a s/o more timid and soft, he'd adore it for one (shallow) reason and one reason only. corruption. there wouldn't be softness or gentleness, he'd only want them because they'd give him something he literally cannot get from anyone else.

pete only knows people who aren't shy or reserved, whether it be his loud and big family or his friends who are just as awful as he is - to meet someone softer and more timid would be like fucking christmas for him! the ability to introduce a shyer person to his perversions, luring them in by being loud and admittedly funny, very fun to be around, etc until there's some semblance of trust between him and his s/o. then he'd be more himself, he'd be himself in the worst way.

introducing them to pornography, wanting to recreate what they watch with them. if they got too shy or timid, he'd use guilt tripping. "come on, it's not like you'll do this will anyone else, right? it's just you and me." i at least believe he'd be gentle the first few times but eventually the tears, crying, whining, and whimpering would all make him truly dip into wanting to full and entirely corrupt them as much as he possibly could.

i apologize this isn't sweet or fluffy <\3 i truly do not believe pete could have a soft, shy, timid s/o and not drag them down or use them for his own perversions. partly because he becomes awful and partly because he'd be unable to handle someone who isn't loud and or evil, self-destruction.

[shoot-i-messed-up]

Was always worried about the angst of unrequited love, had never realized the sheer amount of comedic potential that it has.

Imagine one-sided Superbat where Clark is fully aware that Bruce has a crush on him but is being his repressed self about it, and Clark is just like, “I’m not gonna touch that :) you’re going to figure that out for yourself, buddy, and in the meantime, I’m just going to have a good time and be best friends with you as you inevitably pull yourself together enough to either fall out of love or to confess :) and I’ll just let you down gently because I care about you :)” but he absolutely 100% is using it to his advantage in the meantime. His puppy dog eyes had never been so effective before. He’s gotten out of Monitor Duty three times in the past month.

[quackurucho]

i think its very funny how embarrassingly down bad cquackity was for ccharlie Immediately right off the bat. maybe its just their limited improv/semi-lore screentime that enhances the feeling but like he literally just took him, taught him how to gamble for like 40 minutes and then immediately started saying shit like “you are my best friend you are the greatest friend that i have”. there was NOTHING gradual or reluctant about it he pretty much leaped into his arms without question

[sskk-manifesto]

--

[jackass-jones]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of