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theobxhummingbird · 4 years ago

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A helpless moment when you found me. -Luke Patterson x Reader.

Summary: It all starts with a few cups of orange juice, and ends with 1 liter of tears. Luke Patterson needs to find a way of winning her back into his life.

A/N: @beautifulblogsblog enjoy this little emotional Luke x Reader imagine, my very very emotional self put together. Thank you for suggesting this story. 🤗🤗

(GIF CREDIT TO OWNER)

It all started, when Sunset Curve started to get known by bigger audience. All the teenage girls were crazy over the four, cute boys; they even got called on TV to promote their album; sold t-shirts and played a few shows out of town. All in all, the bandmates succeeded in making it to the side of the buses, or on the lock screens of many phones.

Luke’s dream was to have his music, listened by many people around the world; and it worked, which had him talk about it for days. And it was all going well with him, until everything about his music career started to blind him. Bobby, Reggie and Alex were doing great, not too much dedicated into the music, well, not as much as Luke. It touched him so much, the need of his music being heard, as well as his name, that he even freshly made up from a fight with his mum. Emily and Mitch were understanding parents. At the beginning, they didn’t accept the idea of his 17-year-old son, playing in a rock band, but when they all sat down to talk about it, the wild waters calmed, and they were able to speak the same language.

Luke, wasn’t only lucky to have two amazingly supportive and understanding people in his life, but one more, who always had the time to sit down and listen to what he had to let out of his heart. She, who was his first text in the morning, and last text at night; she, who was his few missed calls; she, who was the whole sunshine he could need in his life. She, who loved him with her entire heart; more than herself. He was thankful. He was so thankful, until she became the person that would wait for him to text first or call first, rather than bothering him. She became the place he’d come to, if he needed a person to tell all his matters to. But what she became, that caused her the entire pain in the world, was becoming the one who always waited for him at the table they reserved for their date.

And, together with his promise of never letting her hanging again, Y/N hopefully waited at the table. Her sixth ordered cup of orange juice, had the orange line at the bottom of the cup, letting the waiter know, she had finished another one. Other than a big vase of flowers, and empty eating supplies; that once used to be filled with delicious food, now there was nobody else at the table. She checked the time, and he was now four hours late.

The amount of respect and love Y/N had for Luke, kept her sat on that chair for four hours. And she wouldn’t have even moved, if it wasn’t for the waiter who let her know that there’s a couple that reserved the table after them. She managed to pay him for the drinks, and her trembling body made it out of the now, least favorite restaurant on her list of date places she and Luke went to; well if he came, they would’ve had a great time and she wouldn’t have to put it at the least favorites, just like the one he left her the last time.

With the second time of leaving her hanging, Y/N thought he’d learned from the mistake he made and they wouldn’t need to argue with each other. This---this was another disrespect for her, and God knew where he was. No text, nor calls appeared from him, and it made her more worried, than mad that night.

And like for every person, there’s times where unluckiness catches us in a trap. Suddenly, all that happens that day or night, is bad. It not only ruins our day/night, but it ruins our life and us in whole. It started to pour. Immediately, it soaked Y/N to her bones, and the only escape she had, was to run in those puddles that formed in the cracks of the pavement, and hide under and awning of a bar that was not too far from where she was. Y/N pulled the sides of her jacket towards each other, trying to warm herself, by blowing and rubbing her hands together. The bar seemed to still be opened, but she couldn’t really be sure because it was hard to see from the foggy window. She wiped away the fogginess with her elbow, revealing a surprising picture; one, she couldn’t really believe. Luke, Reggie, Alex and Bobby, all gathered around a girl. Her hair strands, were stuck to her face, and her face was traced with water lines, but not from the rain; she was now, fully in tears. As if four hundred knives were stabbed in her back, Y/N turned her back, and stepped out in the rain---after what she saw, there was nothing that could hurt her more.

She was a slave to the heartache, and it controlled her in every way. Y/N’s broken figure, entered the empty hallway of her home, but luckily her parents were asleep to even see her in that state. And it was for their and her best, even Luke’s, because they were very protective over their daughter. She didn’t even change into pajamas, neither did she dry her hair. The covers were pulled over her body, and she was fast asleep, getting the warmth, of her cold body and warm breathing.

Like others say though, the mother instinct is never wrong. She was fast awake when she heard the doors open. Tip toeing away from her sleeping husband, so he doesn’t argue about leaving their so in love daughter, to live her teenage love years, she slowly opened the door of Y/N’s room. She quietly gasped at the state she was in, and sat on her bed, feeling the soaked clothes she was sleeping in. And it wasn’t only from the rain, but now from the sweating that soaked her pillow. Y/N was shaking, and her cheeks were burning red.

-Wake up, wake up! -she shook her husband. He jumped out of bed, and followed her to their daughters room.

-Y/N. Y/N. Y/N.

No answer. The next thing, her dad picked her up and rushed to the car in his pajamas, her mother following him. The car drove away from their house, and her dad was driving fast to the hospital. He carried her in his hands, until the medical staff took care of her. She was frozen and her lips were bruised. They put a breathing mask immediately, and her heart rate was very low.

It was a nightmare of a night for the Y/L/N family, and it scared Y/N’s parents, that her mother had to also be taken care of. Her dad got himself a cup of tea from the canteen and sat outside the hospital room, waiting for his wife and daughter to get better. And he waited, until the doctor called him to his office.

-Y/N hadn’t eaten properly for days, and stress reacted even more. Also, she got soaked, which completed the state she is in now. Your daughter needs to eat, Mr. Y/L/N and stay away from stress as much as possible. It’s not a joke, it’s a life we’re talking about; a life of a young person. Here’s the pills she needs to drink for her curing. She’ll be held in the hospital for two days, then we’ll release her home.

Her dad bought the pills, as soon as he left the office. And the man wasn’t stupid, to not understand that the stress, might involve Luke as well. He didn’t call him though. If the boyfriend of her daughter, was wise enough to check up on his girlfriend, he would’ve called himself. So, he was back to waiting.

Luke on the other hand, was at home. Sweaty from the big performance he had to do that night. And, we would all blame him for leaving Y/N alone, but the reason behind him leaving her hanging, is heartwarming from one side for another person, but painful and risky for Y/N. He changed into clean, and dry clothes, and sat on his bed, to see what Y/N’s up to, and explain what happened, that he couldn’t even text, nor call her. No answer. He called her dad, her mum, but none of them answered. So, he went to bed thinking they’re all sleeping, though, something kept aching his heart, that he couldn’t close his eyes as soon as he placed his head on the pillow. He kept tossing and turning, but it didn’t work, until finally, he found the best position, and fell into a deep sleep.

Y/N’s mother woke up before her the next morning, and stayed listening to her daughter, repeating Luke’s name in her sleep. Though, she also didn’t want to call him, thinking the same way as her husband. Y/N didn’t still open her eyes, and as much as the doctors and nurses wanted to, and even tried waking her, she wasn’t waking up. Her mother now went to treat herself a cup of tea, after the night she had.

-Mrs. Y/L/N? -said a voice from behind her. She turned around with a confused expression, but it dropped when she saw Reggie; Luke’s bandmate, who she met once at a show the Y/L/N family went to, to support Luke.

-Hello Reggie. How are you?

-I’m great Mrs. Y/L/N, actually how are you, is there something wrong?

-Yes Reggie, there is. Y/N is going to be held here for two days. Yesterday she came home soaked, and got sick so we had to rush her to the hospital, because she couldn’t wake up.

-Ca-can I see her please? -his eyes were filled with tears and worry.

-Sure. Come with me. -she placed a hand on his shoulder and walked him to the hospital room. Unnoticeably, he sent and SMS to Luke, quickly sending away what happened to Y/N, hoping his friend will come to take care of his girl.

-Oh no, Y/N. -he said, taking a hold of her frozen hand.

After getting out of the shower, Luke finally looked at his messages, and it took him a second to slip his shoes on, and basically run to the hospital with his wet hair.

-Y/N Y/L/N! -he breathlessly said to the person at the register.

-Room 200. -she said, and he tapped the elevator button, but couldn’t wait for it, so he took the stairs. When he got to the hallway, where her parents were stood, his heart dropped at the scene. Both of them in pajamas still, with barely any sleep, because of him.

-Mrs. Y/L/N. -he said in tears.

-Go Luke, go next to her. We’ll talk about it later. -she rubbed his back, and he wiped away his tears, and entered the room, where Reggie was waiting, who jumped up and left, so he could be next to Y/N.

-Oh, my beautiful girl. I’m so sorry, it’s my fault.-he brushed away some hair from her face, and trailed his hand down her cheek. He took a hold of both of her hands, kissing them many times, and grabbing the sheets of the bed, so he could quietly cry in them. A warm line was traced under his eyes, and it disappeared at the corner of his eye.

-Don’t cry. -her raspy voice, made it to his ears, as his head shot up.

-Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry-

-Don’t be Luke.-she turned her head to the window, where her parents were stood. She blinked as an approval of them entering the room.

-Baby. -said her mother, and went to kiss her temple, followed by her dad. -How are you feeling?

-I’m feeling better. Can we go home now? -she lifted herself to sit up, but her mother pressed her down back on the bed.

-The doctor said two days. Tomorrow you’ll be home anyways.

-Fine then. Let’s follow what the doctor said, I guess. -she sent a sad smile towards her parents. They saw what the situation was, and left them alone, even though Y/N’s look begged them not to leave her alone with Luke.

-Can I explain myself? -he asked softly.

-Of course. -she positioned herself, so her back could rest against the pillow.

-We had to do this last minute show, Y/N. It was for a kid’s operation money for aboard, and they needed to be sent that night. They asked us, and we couldn’t say no to that poor family. For else, you know I wouldn’t repeat my mistakes.

-I’m glad the kid’s got operation money. Hope he’ll, heal as soon as possible.

-I’m so sorry, baby. -he said, wiping his tears away and rubbing his wet hands off his jeans, -I’ll leave you now, because it’s obvious you don’t want me here. I’ll come later again, love you so much princess.

She opened her mouth to talk, but Luke was out the door, and he stopped to look at her from the window, but she pretended as if she’s looking out the other window in the room.

-If you loved me, you could’ve at least stayed. I don’t want you to go. -she whispered through her tears. It was the most painful feeling of her life, listening to him say that she doesn’t want him. She wanted him. And it hurt her more and more, knowing he’d done something beautiful for another kid. But he sacrificed her life, and happiness. The part with the girl at the bar, stayed as a question mark in Y/N’s head.

Y/N’s dad had a talk with Luke, and when he explained everything that happened, he couldn’t only be on his side, rather as a father, he took Y/N’s side first, then giving the right to Luke.

-The choices you make in a relationship, you make for you and your loved one. A relationship is led by two people, and whatever they decided, it should never affect only one person. I know how much you love my daughter, it’s all written in your eyes kid. But I love her more than any other guy could ever love her. She’s a part of my soul, and even if one fiber gets damaged of her, I’ll ruin this world. Make up with her, please, I don’t want to see you grieving for each other. You’re a great couple, and it’s really sad to see her alone in that room over there.

It stayed with him the whole day, those words by Y/N’s father. He sat on his bed, and the only thing that couldn’t make him so helpless was writing. He took his music notebook, and started writing what he felt towards the girl, who was now being begged to eat. It worked after a few tries, but she was able to put some proper food into her system. Alex, Reggie and even Bobby came to visit her. Though, there was a girl waiting at the door; the same girl from the bar.

-Who’s that over there? Why is she standing alone?

-It’s my girlfriend, Rose. -said Bobby.

-Ah huh. -she said, a sigh of relief was supposed to follow, but instead her heart relaxed, knowing Bobby probably wanted the boys to meet her while they’re there.

After they left, not too long after, Luke came as promised. This time, he really came, together with his guitar, and bags of fruit he bought.

-You parents said you can’t have any tough food, so I thought your favorite fruits are a great idea. -he left them on the table, and sat down next to Y/N’s bed.

-You came. -Y/N said, holding back a big smile. He looked really handsome, even though he didn’t even try to. It was what had her attracted to him the most at the moment.

-I came to sing you to sleep. -he said, and positioned his guitar. Y/N slipped down to her laying position, and patiently waited for him to start singing. When he did, she realized that the words are completely new, and unknown to her, which meant he wrote them freshly. And he did. He wrote her a song, about how he’s sorry and if he’d take back the time, he’d fix everything, but still remain the Luke she loves.

After he finished, Y/N applauded and rested her hand on a writing, carved onto his guitar.

-Why ‘Y/I’ (Y/I= your initials)? -she traced it with her fingers.

-For Y/N Y/L/N. My Y/N Y/L/N.-he smiled.

Y/N sat up and rested her back against her pillow, as few tears fell down her face, quickly wiping them away so Luke doesn’t notice. He still thought she was mad at him, with the right to be, so he nodded his head and sat up to leave the room, just like he did earlier, although this time, it wasn’t clear if he would come back again. Y/N swiftly lingered her fingers onto his, and it gave her life; his touch.

-I-I need you...Let’s make up. -she said and swallowed her tears. Luke slowly spun around and sat on the bed. She cupped his face and wiped away his tears, as he did the same, resting their foreheads on top of each other.

-I’m sorry Y/N. I’m sorry for doing the same mistake again. Please forgive me and give me the chance to make up to you. I love you so much,

-It’s fine Luke. It all was gone with another day. Let’s focus on the ones that are coming. I love you too, so much. And the song was beautiful, I can’t even explain to you.

-Yeah? Well, since we made up and sang a song, you must now eat at least one orange, okay?

-Okay fine. -she said lazily, and Luke managed to peel one for her. She made a sour face when she tasted it, and Luke placed a kiss to her lips, getting a taste of its bitterness and making a face as well, which made her laugh. For the first time since the day before, she managed to remember what laughing feel like. As well as crying, and going through pain, all because of the one boy, she loved with her entire life. Mutually getting the same love, from him; her Luke Patterson.

#luke patterson x reader #luke patterson #jatp fandom #julie and the phantoms #fantoms #luke x y/n #jatp series #jatp imagines #luke patterson jatp imagines #luke patterson imagines

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ntamain · 4 years ago

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Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she's gay?

another gay gem from the r/relationship reddit

Update:

Image ID under the cut, please let me know if I did it wrong!

[Image ID: four screenshots of a post from the relationship subreddit by tumblr user nta-main. The title reads “Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she’s gay?”

The text reads “Update post is now locked, I cant believe so many people were interested in us!! Thank you again for your support, comments and messages.

Hi all, I can't believe I'm asking for advice from a bunch of strangers on the internet but I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. Sorry for the incoming essay but I guess I need to give history. I bought my first house in September last year, It was an odd time but everything just fell into place. It's quite a small village and everyone is really friendly so I got to know my neighbours soon after moving in - yes, socially distanced. Then I met my over-the-road neighbour, let's call her Elle. I can't describe it but it's the first time I've ever met someone and been lost for words and my heart was racing and just thought "omg", y'know?? So after I blushed my way through a welcome to the village type convo we only saw each other for a wave and hello for a few days.

To help kinda settle in I had my dog (Bea) with me for the first few weeks. During this time there was a massive increase in dog thefts in a nearby town, not just from gardens but literally wrestled away from people. If I'd have been working (furloughed off and on since March) then I would've taken Bea back to mum's but since I was home with her all day she stayed. So the local police advised to not walk dogs alone but we go out twice a day, a 10k run in the morning and a few miles walk in the evening. So obvs this scares me, but at the same time she is honestly a pain in the arse and gets upset if she doesn't go for a run and needs to be tired out so I'm kind of stuck at this point. Then along comes Elle. She knocked on the door and offered to come with us as she'd seen Bea and me in the evenings and everything kind of spiralled from there. I told her about my morning runs but she didn't really bite so I thought nothing of it. Then a few days later I bumped into her on a run, so she started joining us on those too.

A few months later and we are spending more and more time together everyday. It has now progressed to a run early morning, afternoon coffee, dinner most evenings and then the evening walk. It just seemed to happen without me really noticing. I didn't read into things that much as I don't want to get my hopes up and ruin anything until another neighbour commented about how much time we spend together and how "it's nice to see you young gals getting on" and winked. She actually winked at me. I asked her what she meant but she just laughed and said "you know what I mean". So now I'm looking back on things and wondering if she could like me too?

Here's some reasons why she might like me:

I went running along the same route at the same time for nearly 2 weeks before I happened to run into her a few days after I told her this?

I make her a coffee every afternoon (Elle is WFH) and take it over in her fave mug. She says I make good coffee but I'm pretty sure I saw a fancy coffee machine the first time I went round (it's not there now?).

Elle carried on running and walking with me even after Bea went home. I told her she was going back to mum's and she said well "I'll have to make another excuse to join you" and then we just carried on everyday.

She has tried really hard to bond with Bea. Bea is a very anxious dog and is scared of everyone except me and mum. Elle bought special treats to give her everyday and has been so amazing with her and never tried to force anything. When I asked her she said "it's important to me that she likes me and is comfortable". Bea actually fell asleep between us on the sofa yesterday and It just makes my heart skip a beat guys.

She invited me to the zoom quiz she does with her friends every fortnight or so and they were all like "oh so this is who we've heard so much about "

We realised we had become each other's support bubble. Elle asked if I was meeting anyone else and I said no, she said she was glad she had me all to herself (!!)

We gave each other quite personal xmas presents. Like, it actually made me tear up it meant so much to me. And she bought stuff for Bea!!

Reasons why she might not like me:

All the reasons above, but that she's just doing them because she's a fucking great person and we're friends?

It might sound dumb but idk I need your help guys. She is the just the most incredible person I have ever met and I really really like her but if she isn't gay or doesn't feel the same I don't want to lose her friendship as she has become such a huge part of my life. I genuinely have no experience with these kind of things as I went to quite a strict all girls school, so it's not as if there were any relationships around me as a teen and then I went to a very small uni (8 of us on my course). I guess another reason is that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 10 years, as well as my weight and working on my self confidence, but I can say that right now I am the happiest and healthiest (both mentally and physically) I have ever been. I've only just really become comfortable with the fact that I'm gay and I have never really told anyone in real life, but I don't think people would be too surprised lol. I don't have any close friends as no one stuck around when I was really struggling with my MH a few years ago so I can't discuss this with anyone irl.

So I need your advice : how do I find out if she is gay? And no, I don't have the confidence to just ask!! What if she says no and I ruin everything? She has never mentioned anything about past relationships and I'm pretty tactless so not sure how I could naturally slip it into the convo. Like, "hey tell me have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you want one now?" Lol. And how can I make a move without really making a move so I don't ruin things??

tl;dr : Don't know whether my neighbour is gay and into me or is just really friendly. How can I make a move without ruining our friendship?

Edit: Ok guys, thank you so so much for all your support and encouragement. You've all given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to casually slip some gay stuff into conversation and see how she reacts. Then bring up the neighbours comment like some of you suggested, seeing as tho the neighbour was heavily implying that we're gay. I'll do it tonight otherwise I'll talk myself out of it again. I will post an update to let you know what happens (eek). If you never hear from me again assume it went badly and I am consoling myself with cake and watching brokeback mountain in floods of tears.

Hi reddit, yes it's me the useless lesbian. First off I want to thank you all for your support, encouragement and advice - and the undeserved awards! I never expected this many of you to take the time to comment and that so many of you were rooting for us.

So I had the plan to drop these gay hints into convo like you guys suggested but honestly it all went out the window. Elle was kinda stressed friday after a shitty work zoom and just needed to vent so it wasnt the right time to start anything. Though I guess I must have been a bit off thanks to spending all day overthinking things on here, as Elle turned up Saturday morning rambling about stressing me out and apologised (!!) for ruining dinner. Obvs I said "what are you talking about you can talk to me about anything", and she said "anything?" and I said "anything" back. And guys the tension was unreal, staring at each other and hoping our lesbian mind reading powers would kick in.

Then there was some loud noise like a car backfiring or something and the moment went. So I went to make coffee and then Elle asked me why I was a bit quiet the night before and I said something about overthinking stuff and she said "what stuff" and idk you guys I wasnt prepared to be put on the spot my casual gay pop culture references were useless in this moment. My mind just went completely blank and I forgot every single thing you guys suggested and my heart was pounding and I just blurted out you know I like you, right?.

...And then she kissed me. Kissed me. We straight up just snogged in the kitchen and it was fucking great. So...you were right. You were all fucking right. She's gay, she likes me and has been trying to drop hints for nearly 5 months. sigh

We were both just too scared to make a move or ruin anything. Turns out she's been burned by straight girls in the past, so she's pretty wary and was hoping I'd straight up say I'm a lesbian so she'd know for sure - maybe the I'm a lesbian wall hanging would've been a good idea after all? Her friends have been helping her drop hints, she showed me the group chat and guys their suggestions ranged from flirting more to just turning up in a trenchcoat and nothing else lol. Also, the winking neighbour has been making comments to her as well, so shout out to her for trying to make this happen too.

So no cake and cry watching brokeback mountain, just 5 months of dating to catch up on. As for worrying about how our current schedule could be more date like during lockdown, you were right it's kinda irrelevant when you've essentially been dating the whole time. Though we never made it to our morning run yesterday, in fact we didn't leave the house at all, ha.

Thank you guys for giving me hope, even if all your suggestions completely disappeared in the moment. Maybe I'll show her the post later and ask if any of the suggestions would have worked.

tl;dr: she's gay, into me and I'm an idiot”

End image ID]

#this is for sure already on tumble #but it's so cute #I had to #mine #r/relationships #tw// ed #edit: I'll add a transcript in a minute just gotta figure out how to make it accessible

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good-rwbyaus · 4 years ago

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@honorable-asshole: I need you to know this is absolutely amazing. And for a title might I suggest "rising snow," since the mid is both rising to the occasion and trying to prevent the collapse of what probably amounts to the world economy?

#Rising Snow AU :: Pieces 12-14 :: mod lilac [ first ] [ previous ]

honorable-asshole asked: Au where Whitley has actually been running the bank accounts since he was young and keeping the group financially viable

// This AU’s name is Rising Snow now. xD. Thank you to honorable-asshole, both the AU namer and the AU inspirer. 8). Runner up for title namer is azdfox for Whit and Wit. - lilac

12. Impression

It didn’t take long to get a response. After Klein and he had their discussion about Acacia, he found his scroll ringing the next day despite it being set to ‘do not disturb’. It was from an unknown caller with a nonsensical 22-digit number, but he didn’t need to be a genius to figure out who it was.

Click.

“I see you’re the big bosss now,” said the woman on the line; he could hear a slight electronic hum resonating with her voice, a blatantly obvious attempt at voice modulation. So blatant that it told him that she wanted him to know - suppose that was one form of sincerity. Despite the voice mask though, it couldn’t hide the drunken slur in her words, one that he couldn’t help but be irritated by.

“Only until Father comes back," he still spoke back neutrally, leaning back on his chair and away from the piling paperwork, "so you’re Acacia.”

A long pause. How drunk was this lady?

"I am,” Acacia continued, “so when are you plotttting the hostile -hic- takeover?”

He couldn’t help but snort at that. Come to think of it... that’s what he was doing now, wasn’t he? Undermining his father’s authority and trying to find where all the skeletons lie. Because he had to be the one in control in the end. His father never treated the Schnee Dust Company as a business but as his own personal piggy bank, and now that the bank was running out, the Schnees were in danger of being left with nothing.

And he wouldn’t be surprised if his father left himself an out. What would it be? A private penthouse in Mistral? A couple offshore bank accounts in Vale? Who knows? It ticked him off greatly, but he had more important things to do than indulge in pointless anger.

‘You must not like my Father very much,” he returned.

"I don’t,” the woman said sternly, probably the most sober thing she said. “Your father took everything from me.”

“Then why help his son?” Whitley asked.

"You are you. Your father is your father."

“That’s not enough to reassure me,” Whitley said sharply, “You show up drunk to our first meeting, are using a voice modulator, and don’t even show your face. Are you even taking this seriously? The only reason why I’m entertaining you right now is because of Klein’s assurances that I can trust you.”

He heard something like a choke in the background and then a click. He quickly glanced at his scroll - they weren’t disconnected - she must’ve muted herself.

Another click.

“...Klein’s a good man,” the voice hiccupped out, though her voice sounded more strained - hoarse even.

“He is. But I still don’t trust you. From what I heard, you’re not just a secretary but an expert on technological surveillance,” Whitley replied, “If I let you into the system, I very well may be letting a wolf in.”

“...You can’t keep me out in the firssst placee,” Acacia slurred.

“Prove it,” Whitley said.

The sound of typing filled his ears before it quickly stopped.

“My show of -hic- sincerity,” she quietly said.

His scroll suddenly went dark and turned back on. Numerous video feeds popped into view. The kitchen, his sisters’ bedrooms, Klein in the kitchen, the dining room, the lounge, his own bedroom... Alarmed, he turned towards the bookcase to his side before looking down at the scroll in his hands - it was tracking him.

He hurriedly walked over and quickly pulled out a book that had a pin-sized hole within it. The scroll’s feed followed wherever he pointed. And the Schnee Mansion was covered in these cameras?! It was impossible for it not to be an inside job then. He shook in rage. Was his father seriously that paranoid about maintaining power - that he’d spy on his own family!?

His attention returned to the scroll. He took a few calming breaths.

“I’ve received your sincerity well,” he finally let out, “Another thing that my father will have to answer for.”

Another long quiet moment.

“I... yes," the voice stuttered out quietly, “...you trust me now?”

“I can trust you to put your money where your mouth is,” Whitley corrected, “That’s probably as good a foundation we’re going to get for our working relationship, since you’re clearly not going to reveal your identity. Is Acacia even your real name?”

He then shook his head.

“Actually you know what? It doesn’t matter now. As of right now, you and Klein are the only assets I have,” Whitley said with a long exhale. A loyal butler and a drunk secretary, better than being alone with this mess.

‘....Regardless of what happens, I’ll be by youur side,” the voice said, “even if you decide to driiive this company into the ground.”

Acacia... sounded oddly sincere about that, though the effect was somewhat diminished by the fact the woman was completely sloshed.

“I thought you loved the company,” Whitley asked.

“I loved the people in it,” she said mournfully, “I admired your granddad...” She paused, “Since you have his blood, as far as I’m concerned, the company is yours to do as you see fit.”

“You know that Winter and Weiss are the true heiresses, right? If you really wanted to get the company back up, shouldn’t you be asking them?” Whitley questioned.

“Do they -hic- look like they want anything to do with it?”

“Hahaha,” Whitley couldn’t help but laugh at himself. That was true. The prize he always strived for was looked upon as garbage by his older sisters - and what was more ironic was that the company was actually garbage. Was he really the only blind one here? He sighed before he shook his head, banishing the useless self-pity away.

“It’s their loss. I’m going to save this company,” Whitley declared, “I’m going to make sure we’re so entrenched in Atlas - in Remnant - that no one will dare do anything to the Schnees.”

He closed his eyes and looked down at his scroll.

“Will you help me towards that goal?” he asked.

“Like I said, it’s your company,” the voice replied, “I’ll go as far as you want to go, President Schnee.”

He smiled.

President Schnee. He liked the sound of that. But first things first.

“Then since you’ve clearly shown yourself in, let’s begin. I need the budget reports starting from last year...”

---

13. Efficiency

Having Acacia on board for the past several days made his job easier. No longer did he have to sift through unimportant garbage such as meeting schedules or planning dinners or cafeteria food requests. She instead triaged his work, sending documents where they actually needed to go - he suspected she had a digital stamp with his signature on it - and made sure things got done in the background. Despite the questionable legality and hole in oversight, he found it a welcome thing. He could finally focus on more important matters such as where all his company’s money went or the increasing unrest down at the Mantle mining sites.

He’d seen signs of his company’s corruption back when he took a glance at the budget. R & D had been a black hole where money goes in and nothing comes out. Transport and Delivery had been ‘losing’ more and more Dust shipments. Customer Support was full of idiots he’d fired on the first few day of his job. Security has been demanding more funds to deal with the so-called Faunus threat without any actual evidence to their claims.

The only thing that’s made profit at all was Dust Mining and Surveying, which was personally managed by the President. It was literally the only thing that was holding this company together.

He picked up his scroll and sent a voice message.

“Acacia. I’ve gone through the budget. I’ll be requiring your expertise. I’ll need information on the following people before I meet them two days from n-”

Klein walked in, not with a milkshake, but with a bowl of spaghetti.

“Klein, I said I wanted a milkshake, not this.”

“You’ve been drinking milkshakes for two days now, Master Whitley, ” Klein said, “Acacia has again expressed... concern.”

He sighed as he grumpily stared at the bowl, picking up his fork.

“Is she your boss or am I your boss?” he grumbled at both phone and Klein, though no heat was in his tone. He knew Klein was looking out for him, though he was surprised Acacia did too.

He smiled faintly as he began eating the pasta.

His parents might not care for him and his sisters, but at least he still had people willing to stand by his side.

-------

14. Threat

Several men, dressed in suits and blazers, sat inside a large board room; the last chair at the end of the table had yet to be filled. All of them seemed annoyed at being called at this late hour. “What’s going on?”

“Beats me. I was being attended by a masseuse when I got the emergency order.”

“Stop complaining. I was with my mistress when it happened. You know how uncomfortable it is to take that pill and not-”

“Shut it. Isn’t the president supposed to be on vacation?”

“Then how did this emergency meeting get called?”

“Because I called it,” Whitley spoke as he opened the door to the board room. Wearing a navy blue suit complete with a sky blue tie, he adjusted his silver cufflinks slightly and sat down at the end chair. “Gentlemen.”

“Whitley Schnee,” the man to the left of him said in a fawning expression, “haven’t seen you since the last dinn-”

“Shut it, Samson,” he interrupted.

“What?” Samson, the CEO of R&D, questioned blankly before he quickly stood up, yelling “What’d you say you little bra-”

“I told you all to shut it,” Whitley growled as he glared back into the now hostile room, “Do you know what all you scum here have in common?”

“You’ve all stolen money from my company. Hundreds of millions of Lien,” he announced and turned on the projector with a push of the remote. Budget statements with padded numbers crossed out and the corrected ones filled in appeared on the screen, complete with department names. Bank transfers to personal accounts could be seen.

Several members of the company’s board had looks of astonishment while others maintained a perfect poker face.

“You shouldn’t make false accusations.”

“This is all fake!”

“Do you think you’re actually the president?”

“As far as all of you are concerned, I am,” Whitley countered, slowly standing up and turning his back to them, “Klein, please pass my esteemed associates their information packets.”

The butler quietly yet swiftly delivered a manila folder to every one of the room’s inhabitants. Several of them began looking through the contents and immediately became pale.

“Some of you... Most of you - by virtue of your thieving - have committed crimes that could be considered treason to the Kingdom of Atlas,” Whitley quietly spoke to the now silent room.

He turned his head immediately to a balding bespectacled man, “Lexington, the heating coils in Mantle should last for a decade per our agreement with the Kingdom of Atlas, so why did you construct them with material that would only work four or five years at best?” he asked before adding, “That’s pretty shifty, especially in light of your recent purchase of a mansion whose price happens to match the missing portion of the budget. Horrible correlation, right?”

“And Rex, what happened to the protective walls down at Mantle,” he asked in a kind tone, smiling, “They should’ve been finished a year ago, so why are we still two years behind?”

His smile shifted to a disdainful frown, “Tch.”

“As for the rest of you, you should find that my money is not easily taken. The folders will easily show that I know where all your skeletons lie.”

Quiet murmurs filled the room. Some of them clandestinely attempted to use their scrolls, only to find they had no signal - Acacia’s work.

“What do you want us to do?” Samson said, the fastest thinking of the lot. That was why he was the closest ally of his father - ally: his father didn’t have friends.

“At least you’re smart. Not smart enough to stop yourself from stealing from my company, but still...” Whitley replied, which made the man redden with anger, “You will all sign documents to the effect that you are willingly transferring your stocks to me. After confirmation of the transfer, you will then resign,” Whitley calmly said, “If you do those two things, I will keep what I’ve learned under my belt, and we all walk away happy.”

“What?”

“Don’t go too far, kid.”

“You think you’ll survive if you dare take on all of us,” one of the CEOs replied, “Tch. I’m done with this farce.”

Just as the CEO stood up, Whitley delivered his ulitmatum, “should anyone leave here without doing those two things, I release everyone’s information to Atlas.”

“The company won’t survive if you do tha-”

“What you’re doing is a crime. This is blackmai-”

“No, no, no. This isn’t blackmail,” Whitley interrupted with a laugh, “this is simply a business deal, a mere trading of worthless stock for your valuable lives. Now if you think that what I’m doing is a crime...” He shrugged, “I guess I have no choice but to report these things to the proper authorities.”

The room fell silent at that.

“As for the company, you’re right. Losing a lot of important assets at once will impact the company,” he lightly said before glaring at them, “Luckily, all of you are leeches and don’t fall under that category.”

Lexington bristled.

“If you release that information on us, have you not thought about what will happen to your father?”

Whitley chuckled.

“Oh I certainly have. My father will likely go to jail after all this, and I’ll probably have to go on TV and talk about how sorry I am about my father’s crimes and that I’ll work hard to atone in his place,” he replied, “Troublesome things, yes. And of little worth, since I do agree that the Schnees will be a very hated name in the Kingdom for quite some time.”

“But we’ll at least have the opportunity to recover. The rest of you on the other hand...” he chuckled darkly, "...will probably have long met the firing squad.”

“And as for those of you who think they can escape, do you really think your connections will mean anything once General Ironwood gets ahold of you?”

The room became quiet once more as they considered the question.

“I thought so,” Whitley finished with a calm smile, a smile that these ruthless businessmen would be seeing in their nightmares - the smile of a son willing to sacrifice his own father for his goals. Everything that he wanted to show, he let them see.

“So no more objections? Shall we start the transfer of assets then?”

#rising snow au #whitley schnee #klein sieben #rwby au #rwby #rwby fic #mod lilac

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gryphsdeadbones · 4 years ago

Note

hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;

first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut

i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad

im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent

was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)

i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say

its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.

if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug

and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.

so i had to make something that:

1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art

2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”

i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.

Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.

The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.

And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense

Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:

Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.

I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.

But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.

You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.

However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.

I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.

I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives.

If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.

Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.

As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this

#Anonymous #ask #jdb faq #ask to tag #long post

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callmebrycelee · 4 years ago

Text

Album Review: Confetti by Little Mix

During one of the bleakest years in human history, Little Mix has delivered us pure joy and happiness in the form of their sixth studio album: CONFETTI. I became a fan of Little Mix, a Mixer is what we’re called, a few years ago when I clicked on one of my coworker’s Spotify playlists. The first song of theirs I can recall listening to is “F.U.” from their fourth album Glory Days. After looking up their other albums I then ventured over to YouTube so I could watch a few of their music videos. I instantly fell in love with the choreo-heavy “Touch” and the slumber party-themed “Hair”. I then started looking at their live performances and I was blown away. For me, Little Mix is everything I ever wanted out of Fifth Harmony. Now before I get some hate, Fifth Harmony is/was a great pop group and without them we wouldn’t have Normani, but whereas some of the girls in Fifth Harmony are/were more vocally talented than others, each of the members of Little Mix - Jade, Jesy, Leigh-Anne and Perrie - have amazing voices and those voices blend together so perfectly.

I’m so glad I discovered Little Mix when I did because it gave me enough time to binge their albums, music videos and live performances just in time for their fifth studio album LM5 to drop. If I had to rank the albums prior to CONFETTI, LM5 would definitely be at the top of my list. Realistically-speaking, the album didn’t perform as well as their other albums but the album is damn near perfect in my opinion. I then later learned the girls were going through a separation with their then-record label Syco which is a major factor in why the album didn’t perform as well as it could.

CONFETTI is Little Mix’s first album since leaving Syco so many of us were very much looking forward to what the girls were going to deliver without having Simon Cowell standing on their neck. Our first taste of a newly emancipated Little Mix came in the form of the 80′s-inspired “Break Up Song”. They released their second single “Holiday” in the middle of the summer and their third single “Sweet Melody” was released a few weeks ahead of the album’s November 6 release. Being in the United States, I stayed up past midnight so I can listen to the album and since it’s release it’s been in heavy rotation on Spotify. I thought it would be fun to review the album and rate each of the tracks. There are 13 tracks on CONFETTI and I will be giving my thoughts on each track as well as a score based on a scale of 10. For those of you reading this, keep in mind, I am one of way too many Little Mix fans to count so if there are tracks that you like that I do not rate as high, just remember this is my opinion so forgive me, HAHA. Without further ado, here’s my review of CONFETTI:

BREAK UP SONG: The first track on the album is also the album’s first single. Break Up Song is not only a total vibe, it’s a total 80s vibe. I was delightfully surprised when Little Mix released this song earlier this year. I love that this song is yet another reminder of just how freakin’ talented these ladies are. My favorite part of the track is Jade’s bridge towards the end of the song. The song is bright and fun and I simply cannot resist busting out some serious 80s dance moves every time the song comes on. Rating: 10/10

HOLIDAY: While Break Up Song gives up 80s pop vibes, Holiday sticks its toes in the contemporary pop pool. It makes sense that this song was released smack dab in the middle of the summer because it is the perfect summer jam. I especially love the accompanying music video which features the girls luxuriating in a spa somewhere on the moon or maybe Mars. It’s sugary and sweet and just like Break Up Song it’s one of those songs you can’t resist dancing to. It should be noted Holiday is the second single off of CONFETTI and it is one of my top 3 favorite tracks off the album. Rating: 10/10

SWEET MELODY: When I first heard the reggaeton-infused Sweet Melody, my initial reaction was meh. Thank God I listened to the song again ... and again ... and again ... because on the second, third and fourth listening, I realized just how truly epic this song is. The lyrics are quite brilliant with my favorite being the Perrie-led second verse: “He would lie, he would cheat, over syncopated beats.” Not only is the song a banger, the music video is one of the best visuals Little Mix has ever released. The choreography is fire and you can tell they put their blood, sweat, tears and spinal cord into their dancing. Sweet Melody is my favorite track on CONFETTI. Rating: 10/10

CONFETTI: Prior to the release of CONFETTI, this track was made available. This song gives me late-90s/early-2000s R&B vibes and I quite enjoy it. It doesn’t hit as nearly as hard as Sweet Melody but this is yet another song I can picture being played in a club. If Little Mix releases any more singles from this album, which I believe they should, I think Confetti is a strong contender. I imagine the music video will be very heavy on the choreo. Rating: 9/10

HAPPINESS: Category Is: Songs That Could Have Been Released By Britney Spears in the Early 2000s. Happiness is yet another track that was released ahead of the album. Unlike the first three tracks of the album which are very much songs about relationships, past and present, Happiness is the self-empowerment anthem we never knew we needed, especially in the year of our Lord 2020. Happiness is a splashy pop song but it doesn’t elicit the strong emotions I felt when listening to Break Up Song or Sweet Melody. Rating: 9/10

NOT A PROP SONG: One of the things I like about Little Mix is every so often they’ll release an acoustic version of their popular songs, i.e., Black Magic, Touch, Holiday. This song is acoustic rock and it is not a sound I was ever expecting from Little Mix. If there was a sequel to National Manthem, it would be Not a Pop Song. I like to think of this as Little Mix’s emancipation proclamation after fleeing the clutches of one Simon Cowell. My favorite lyric from the song is in the chorus: “No more singing songs bout breaking my heart or my lonely nights dancing in the dark.” I absolutely adore this song and it gives me early Kelly Clarkson vibes. Rating: 10/10

NOTHING BUT MY FEELINGS: This song from beginning to end is an absolute treat. I love how lowkey the song starts off and after the chorus, you assume the song is going to keep amping up but at the start of the second verse it goes back to being lowkey again. I love a song that keeps me guessing. I especially love the theme of the song, the struggle of wanting to keep things super casual with someone when deep down you are developing strong feelings for them even though you know you shouldn’t. If there was any doubt the ladies of Little Mix are not grown, this is proof. Rating: 9/10

GLOVES UP: One thing I like doing whenever a new album by one of my favorite artists is released is heading over to YouTube and watching people’s reaction the albums. It seem likes Gloves Up is a favorite off of this album and I just don’t get it. I don’t like to skip tracks, especially on Little Mix albums, but admittedly this is the one I’m tempted to skip when I’m listening to CONFETTI. I like the message but the song is a bit cliché. I hope that repeatedly listening of this track will make me like it, especially since I have a very strong feeling this is going to end up being a single. Rating: 6/10

A MESS (HAPPY 4 U): If Break Up Song had a sequel it would be this track. I love the lyrics and I love the instrumentation. It’s a gorgeous track and again something unexpected from Little Mix. I love Jade’s falsetto on this track. Rating: 9/10

MY LOVE WON’T LET YOU DOWN: I feel like in addition to giving us great dance bops, Little Mix also delivers when it comes to ballads. The gospel-tinged My Love Won’t Let You Down is absolutely gorgeous and will be the perfect closing song on one of their tours. There are Little Mix songs where I think, wow, I’d love to see what the music video would look like and then there are Little Mix songs where I think, wow, I’d love to see how they’d perform this. This track is definitely of the latter variety. All four of our queen’s vocals are on point. Rating: 10/10

RENDEZVOUS: Remember how I said there are three songs on this album that are my favorite? Sweet Melody is my fave track on the album and Rendezvous is my second-favorite. Rendezvous is sexy and sleek and reminds me of something Ciara would’ve released early on in her career. I also love that it samples the song Sway. I cannot wait to see how they perform this song on tour and I would love for this to be a future single because I would love to see Little Mix turn up the sex on one of their songs. This song reminds me of Notice for some reason from LM5. When Little Mix does sexy, the do sexy right! Rating: 10/10

IF YOU WANT MY LOVE: Like Gloves Up, If You Want My Love is another meh track on this album which sucks because it’s literally sandwiched between two perfect songs on the album. Perhaps this is another one I’ll have to keep listening to in hopes that it will grow on me. Right now I’m feeling pretty blasé about the track. Rating: 6/10

BREATHE: Yay! We get not just one ballad on CONFETTI but two! This is the perfect close to a pretty awesome Little Mix album. I’m happy to report the album ends as strong as it begins. Of the two ballads, I prefer My Love Won’t Let You Down but that shouldn’t suggest I don’t like this song. I love it and it’s another one I’d love to see performed live. Rating: 10/10

ALBUM OVERALL RATING: 9

#little mix #confetti #little mix confetti #break up song #not a pop song #sweet melody #nothing but my feelings #jade thirlwall #jesy nelson #leigh anne pinnock #perrie edwards #album review #lm5 #black magic #touch #gloves up #rendezvous

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undertalethingems · 5 years ago

Text

Bark at the Moon Chapter 16: Troubled Present, Troubled Past

Or read on my Ao3>

Rating, Setting: Gen, Pre-canon

Chapter Warnings: None

Chapter Summary: The brothers seek Alphys' help--but that means revisiting bad memories.

Papyrus stretched to his full length, neck straight, arms extended, tail flicking out behind him. All in all, he was easily twice as long as his couch--he didn't remember this form being so long, but then, perhaps he'd grown since those days in the lab years ago. Refreshed, he stood back up, shook out his bones, and gave a short huff. He had to focus. He was going to try something he'd nearly given up on, and he could only hope the time away had renewed his ability to do so. He focused inward, feeling out the vibrant flux of energy within him that gave him life and strength. If he could just nudge the right bit into place...

The door clattered open and Undyne bustled in, bags of fresh groceries looped over her arms. "Heya, Papyrus! I got you all the stuff on the list, I figured I'd have an easier time carrying it than you."

Papyrus snapped his eyes open. "Ah, thank you Undyne! I'm sure I could have managed, but that's very thoughtful of you. Sans will be happy to hear he's restocked on ketchup, no doubt!"

"Oh yeah. They had a sale on the big ones, so he should be good for a while," Undyne replied with a laugh.

"Oh no--I never get those for him, he sees it as an excuse to go through them too fast! Oh well, I suppose we'll count it as a treat."

Undyne laughed again. "Wow, you know, I think you guys are the only people I know of who run out of something because you get more of it than you need."

"It is ridiculous, isn't it?" Papyrus agreed. "But, that's just how Sans is."

"How's he doing? Any more nightmares?"

"No, thankfully. I finally got him to sleep in his room again--he's napping now."

"That's good," Undyne said, joining him in the living room now that she'd set things down. "What's the plan for today? You up for doing puzzle maintenance yet?"

Papyrus frowned, flexing his hands. "Maybe inspection, but unfortunately, I don't think my fingers are quite up to the task! They're much better than they were, but I still haven't been able to manage writing again, much less the dexterity of an expert puzzle engineer... Like I used to be..."

Undyne patted his shoulder. "Hey, you'll get it, you just gotta keep working right? Actually, that reminds me--I've been meaning to ask you guys... I've been wondering if maybe Doctor Alphys could help figure out why you're stuck. I dunno how much she'll be able to tell you, but she's super smart and it's gotta be better than nothing."

Papyrus mulled over the suggestion. "It's worth a try! I was actually trying to change back before you came in."

"Oh geez, sorry if I interrupted..."

"Well, you did, but I don't think it was working anyway," Papyrus said with a huff. "I really don't understand why it's so stubborn!"

"Then let's go see Alphys!" Undyne said cheerfully. "I was actually messaging her about it earlier, and she said she's free, so if you're ready I don't see why we should wait any longer."

He leapt to his feet. "Then let's go! Oh, I suppose it'll interrupt Sans' nap... Well! He can sleep later! This is important!"

Papyrus charged upstairs, excited by the prospect of making a breakthrough. While he'd grown to be comfortable in his beastly form, there was still much he missed about the other shape he could assume. If nothing else, he just wanted to know how to shift between the two again, and Undyne was right--trying to figure it out on their own hadn't worked. It was time to call in another brilliant mind.

"Sans! Sans, wake up--"

He got a weary growl in response.

"I know, I'm sorry--but listen! Doctor Alphys wants to help us figure out why we're stuck, and I'm not waiting a moment longer! I know it's not a priority for you, but..."

At this, Sans opened both eyes to look at him, then pushed himself up and shook before lumbering out of bed. Ever since they'd gotten him back--really gotten him back--he'd been making more of an effort to accompany him in whatever he was doing, even if he didn't participate. Papyrus was just happy to see him up and about, and he supposed that was why Sans did it--but he seemed better for it, and it meant he shuffled after him as he lead the way back downstairs.

It was a short jaunt to the Riverperson, who looked them over before muttering something about wearing more pants. They shifted to make room as the trio clambered in, and in moments the boat was speeding to Hotland. Papyrus hadn't taken the ferry in ages--it was thrilling to watch the water whip past and feel the wind weave through his bones. Sans seemed to be enjoying it too, laying with his head on the boat's rim and watching the world--their tiny corner of it, anyway--go by.

Hotland's warmth could be felt long before they reached the dock. Undyne dipped her arms into the river, splashing water over her face and fins in preparation before they disembarked. They bid farewell to the Riverperson, then headed for the stairs. Papyrus winced--he'd forgotten how strongly it smelled of sulfur here, and there were other scents as well--sharp, metallic, the essence of molten rock.

It was the first thing he'd smelled after escaping the lab.

The lab.

It was at the top of those stairs. It was where the Royal Scientist worked. Where things got made. Tested. Broken.

Papyrus continued walking, ignoring the pit of dread that lay between his ribs. He knew that Alphys would never hurt them. She was a brilliant scientist, but also a good person who'd given him a puzzle for his route despite barely knowing him only a few months ago. He knew this. She was friends with Undyne, and he trusted Undyne would never befriend a cruel person. It would be fine. They would be fine.

They crested the top of the stairs, and the lab loomed. Papyrus tried not to stare up at the structure as they approached, its plain white walls tinted pink by the glowing lava roiling below. White, white walls...

They approached the entrance and the door slid open, making him jump. Sans looked over at him, and he pretended not to know what he was curious about. He had to keep it together--he'd wanted this, it'd be silly to go back now! Only Alphys worked here anymore, not him. She was stepping out now, somehow looking happy and nervous at the same time.

"Hiya Alphys!" Undyne greeted brightly--Papyrus noted she was wearing a softer than usual, but no less wide, smile, and tried to focus on that. "We finally made it! It's good to see you."

Alphys smiled, but her hands fidgeted. "Um, yeah, ha ha... it's g-good to see you t-too... Did... you guys have a good ride over...?"

"It was very short!" Papyrus blurted out, unsure whether he'd sounded cheerful. He wasn't going to think about it.

"Yeah, the Riverperson was all like 'whoosh'," Undyne elaborated, striking a pose the Riverperson definitely hadn't. "It's like they knew we're on an important mission!"

Alphys started. "R-right! Important, ah hah... um... So, do you guys... want to come in?"

"Yeah! That's where the magic happens, right?" Undyne said, and Alphys looked like the pink tint to her scales had nothing to do with the lava.

"I-it's, um, science, but... yeah! You're right, um, let's go in... Th-though, I haven't cleaned, I'm sorry, it's a h-hot mess..." she trailed, then added, very softly, "like me."

"Hey, don't worry about it," Undyne dismissed with a grin, "considering our favorite hang-out is a literal dump."

Alphys burst out laughing, covering her mouth. Papyrus was glad she and Undyne were having a good time, but it was all he could do to keep quiet when everything inside him was screaming. He just had to not think about it, not remember how he'd been made in the depths of this very building, then pressed and prodded and isolated and hurt--

The others--even his brother, moved to go inside. Papyrus stayed frozen in place, staring after them. How could Sans be going in, didn't he know, didn't he care, he had to--they had to--

He lunged forward, slipping under his brother to hoist him onto his back. Run! Claws scraping as they dug into the dense basalt, he whipped around and surged forward, across the bridge that led back to Waterfall and heedless of anyone's cries. Get out, get out, run! He could feel Sans shift precariously, kicking to get either his attention or keep his balance--it didn't matter which. Papyrus galloped on, breath ragged as he wove through the tunnels that connected Hotland and Waterfall as fast as his legs would carry him.

Run, keep going, get somewhere safe, get far, far away--a feeling, more than words, spurred him on, even when he felt the weight on his back disappear. A familiar crevice loomed, and without a thought he leapt, vaulting up the walls and scrambling down the narrow passage at the top.

A safe place, a place to rest, a place to hide.

Sans shook himself out, panting; he'd only clipped from his brother's shoulders moments ago, but Papyrus had long since disappeared down the dim passage. His chest was sore where his brother's spines had interlocked with his ribs; while it had held him in place, it was hardly comfortable, and Sans winced as he trotted after his brother, trying to catch his breath. He gave a ragged howl, trying to call him back--they'd been ok, the man was long gone, they didn't have to be afraid anymore...

Sans had noticed his brother was jumpy, on edge since they'd set foot in Hotland--but he hadn't expected him to run like this, and he was worried. Was his brother going to disappear again? Would he be alone? Had all their effort been for nothing...?

He tried to utter another howl, but the call trailed as he staggered to a halt, exhausted. He still hadn't fully recovered from their stint in the forest, and didn't have the strength to keep running. All he could do was sit miserably in a pool of shallow water, trying to breathe and steady the magic racing in his chest. And if he was honest, Waterfall was putting him on edge. It was where the flower had kidnapped him, taken him from his brother when he needed him most, worn him down to instincts and spite, then tried to ruin their lives. He growled at the memory, then shook his head. It was no use dwelling on the past.

Heavy footsteps sounded from the passage behind him, and he turned to see Undyne and Alphys pounding towards him. They caught up, and regrouped.

"You okay?" Undyne asked breathlessly, and he nodded, giving a low hoot as he looked down the passage in the direction his brother had run.

"Gotcha. I guess we just keep looking for him... Any idea why he ran? I thought he was all for this..."

That would be hard to answer. Sans knew what said answer was, but he wasn't about to relay it. He shrugged.

"O-obviously," Alphys wheezed, "s-something about the lab scared him, if he ran."

Undyne sagged, then turned to him. "Do you guys always run from your problems? 'Cause this is getting kinda ridiculous."

Sans sighed. He'd been called out, but usually the running wasn't so literal. It was getting ridiculous at this point.

"Eh, whatever. Hopefully he hasn't gone too far. C'mon."

"Just," Alphys gasped, holding up a finger as she clutched at her chest, "j-just one sec--eep!"

Undyne hefted her up on one shoulder, then looked to Sans. "You need a ride too?"

He narrowed his eyes, chuffing with laughter. Alphys looked like she might faint--Undyne really had swept her off her feet. He was gonna ruin it.

He cut right above Undyne's other shoulder and grinned at the little lizard as he landed, who only squirmed more in embarrassment--but her crush was obvious, and he was always up for some good-natured teasing. Undyne only grunted, clearly weirded out by his sudden appearance even as she braced him with her other hand.

"Ugh, I am never going to get used to that. Okay you nerds, let's go."

She took off, picking up speed and sending up plumes of water as she barreled through puddles and streams. All the while, Sans kept an eye out--he'd never be good for what he'd been made to do, but he still had all the skills. Even as Undyne sped along, his keen vision let him spot important details. Deep scrapes in the mud, a smeared footprint, scattered stones--Papyrus had definitely come through--

And then Undyne skidded as she turned to face the wall--but it wasn't a wall, it was a ravine, and Sans noted the fresh mud that dotted the rock face, leading upwards. If he craned his neck, he could just make out a dark spot some twenty feet up--the entrance to a tunnel. Undyne didn't seem surprised to see it.

"Huh... Hold on guys, this is gonna be tricky with both hands full."

She backed up to take a running start--but Sans did some very fast thinking. The right number flashed in his mind--and they were standing at the top of the cliff, right at the passage entrance. Undyne quivered beneath him--then set them both down as she dropped to her knees.

"O-okay. I... am REALLY never getting used to that," she uttered, looking shaken.

Sans couldn't help but chuff again, and clapped her on the shoulder with a clumsy paw before turning to venture down the hidden passage. Lowering his snout to the floor, he sniffed rhythmically, taking in the trail. Wet mud, lingering sulfur, what they'd had for lunch--it was all there. He gave a short bark to the ladies who still hung back in shock, then began making his way down the narrow tunnel, ducking and weaving through its twists and turns. Soon, the light filling the passage wasn't coming from his own eyes--the tunnel opened up into a grandiose cavern, studded with outcrops of enormous, glowing crystals.

But Sans didn't care about the scenery. His brother sat on the edge of a small, clear lake on the far side of the cave, and Sans could hear him shuddering from where he stood at the entrance. He warbled after him, but Papyrus only flinched and dipped his head. Sans sighed, and ambled over to sit beside him.

Finally, Papyrus drew a shaky breath and spoke. "...I'm sorry for running, brother. I tried not to--I tried really, really hard! B-but... that place... there's so many bad memories... I couldn't let us go back there... I couldn't...."

Sans crooned sadly. He understood completely. Going back to the lab and reliving those memories had instigated his own transformation; Papyrus had every reason to despise and fear the place, to want nothing to do with it ever again. He'd been brave to even consider it, and Sans didn't blame him for being overwhelmed at the last moment. Sans sighed, and bumped his head against his brother's leg.

"I don't know what to do, Sans. Undyne, Alphys... what are they going to think...? I ran away for... for no reason, as far as they know..."

Sans stared out across the lake for a while... then turned to him with a firm expression, hoping his brother would understand. Even if the man who'd made them was long gone, the consequences of his actions were still around--and it wasn't fair to make Undyne and Alphys deal with them without knowing the full story. It was time to stop running.

Papyrus studied him, then looked away nervously. "I can't. I can't, Sans. Not after I tried to forget. Not without you... to help... say things..."

Sans huffed, then warbled a long, meandering cry. He didn't have his voice, even if he had a lot of his thoughts back. It couldn't be him. He looked back at his brother pointedly, then nuzzled him again. He knew Papyrus could do it, and Unydne and Alphys would be here soon. It was now or never.

Papyrus gave a shuddering breath. "Where do I even start, brother? What do I say? What if they don't treat us like real monsters anymore, what if they tell everyone--"

Sans batted gently at his brother's snout, continuing to give him a steady gaze. Papyrus stared back, and slowly--he seemed to calm down. He just needed to trust him on this.

"If... If you're sure, Sans," Papyrus finally said, and he responded with an affirming grunt.

"O-okay. Okay... I'll... I'll do it. They're our friends. I can do this."

Sans leaned into him again, then turned as footsteps finally echoed behind them. Undyne and Alphys emerged looking a little worse for wear, but smiles crossed their faces as they saw the brothers were alright.

"Sorry we took so long," Unyne called, sounding breathless, "but Alphys got stuck a couple times and I had to punch some rocks to get her loose."

"That's alright," Papyrus replied. "I... needed some time to straighten my bones out anyway."

Undyne snorted at the phrase. "Hey, I'm just glad to see you're okay. I'm also glad you only ran here, and not to the middle of nowhere again."

"N-no, I didn't want to do that again," Papyrus replied with a wincing smile. "I don't think Sans would be very happy with me. Not to mention, I wouldn't be happy with me."

Sans barked confirmation.

"Well, that's good, but I just... I dunno why you guys keep running away like that," Undyne said as she finally approached, Alphys only a few paces behind her. "I've been worried about you ever since Sans first said you were missing. You say it's fine, but... you keep running, so after everything that's happened I don't know that it is."

Papyrus wore a bittersweet smile. "It's not."

Sans could hear how much it hurt him to admit the truth, and even Undyne seemed surprised.

"What... what's going on then, Papyrus?"

He shut his eyes and began trembling again, his breathing hard. Sans looked up at him, then leaned into his side, applying a steadying pressure. His brother could do this, he knew he could--and he'd be there supporting him all the way. It took a while, but slowly, Papyrus calmed enough to speak again.

"Um... Y-you... you might want to sit down. There's. Th-there's a lot I have to tell you. I... I haven't... We haven't been entirely honest with you... a-and for that, I'm very, extremely sorry."

Undyne and Alphys exchanged looks, then slowly sat on the cave floor.

"It's okay Papyrus. Go on," Undyne encouraged.

Papyrus drew a deep breath, steeling his nerves--then spoke. "What we said back when all this started was true--I really have been able to switch between forms all my life. But. That. Is about it. Because... the rest of the truth is painful. Very painful. We... we didn't want to scare you, or upset you, or... change what you thought of us. By telling the truth."

"What do you mean?" Undyne questioned, voice low.

Papyrus shifted anxiously, looking to the floor as he continued. "I... I've been running, and I ran away from the lab today... because that's where we were made."

"Made?!" Undyne burst, while Alphys stared in disbelief.

"Wh... what d-do you mean, made?" she pressed. "H-here, in the lab? Who? Wh-when?! How?! Er--s-sorry, I j-just, I'm sure you'll get to that, I'll be quiet..."

Papyrus gave her a weak smile, then closed his eyes to begin. "Y-you see... A long time ago... but not very long... there was a man. A scientist. Who thought monsters needed weapons that could think for themselves. At least... that's what I gathered. U-um... my memory of it isn't very good..."

Sans didn't know much more about it than that himself, though he knew Papyrus remembered a fair amount more than that. But the reason for their creation... why the man had made the choices he did...? They knew why they'd been made, but not really why, and maybe they never would.

"Th-that's okay," Alphys assured, "j-just keep going with what you do remember."

Papyrus nodded, then continued. "S-so, after a lot of work... this man... made Sans. B-but... Sans wasn't what he wanted. He was weak, small... and too clever for his own good."

Sans uttered a smug snort. He'd cheated at a fair few puzzles back in the day. It was a solution, wasn't it? But their creator had never really wanted weapons that could think for themselves. He just wanted creatures that could follow his orders. He never had gotten it right--as Papyrus was about to explain.

"S-so, the man kept working, and after a while... he made me! But, little did he know, I was also too clever! And he, in fact, had made a terrible mistake. You see... we weren't supposed to be monsters. We weren't supposed to have souls."

"Weren't... supposed to..." Undyne echoed, brows knit.

"Yeah," Papyrus affirmed, nervously. "It was pretty awkward for him. But, he had work to do, so, it, didn't stop him."

"S-stop him... from... god. God. Dammit. He experimented on you?!" Alphys burst, hands slapping to the cave floor and surprising all of them. "He--and you--you were his kids, technically! And he didn't--oh my god. I can't--! I... I'm s-so sorry--no wonder you didn't want to go into the lab... It must mean so many awful things to you... god.... He didn't care..."

She wasn't wrong. Sans' earliest memory of the place was being locked in a barren kennel and left alone for a few days. What he'd been made to endure when most monsters were learning to talk and play... It was a wonder either of them had coped as well as they had.

"Well, it wasn't so bad sometimes!" Papyrus replied brightly. "Many of the tests were just solving puzzles or running obstacle courses, and it was always nice when we got to do things together. That always made the other tests a little more bearable."

Sans nodded, then leaned a little harder into his brother's side, uttering a reassuring croon, and Papyrus returned the gesture. As long as they were together, they could get through anything. That had always proven true--back then, and now as well.

"O-other... tests... like...?" Alphys asked, out of morbid curiosity, and Papyrus balked--but obliged. He made a face, and took a deep breath before answering.

"W-well, they were unpleasant, to say the least. I don't even know what all of them were for... Samples, o-of the insides of my bones... taking my soul and stretching my magic thin to look at it better... seeing if I needed sleep or food... Just to name a few! Wowie, I'm glad those are over..."

He shook himself out to relieve the stress, and Sans couldn't blame him. The doctor had been reluctant to test him so rigorously due to his poor stats... at first. But he remembered the needles, and too-bright lights, and pain even as someone used healing magic on him just so he wouldn't die. He'd never understood the point of it. Papyrus was shivering now, and he could only continue to press against him to comfort him.

"H-he... he really didn't care then," Alphys said quietly. "A-and I th-thought my mistakes were... God... What did he do when he found out you guys could change forms?"

"I remember it clearly!" Papyrus replied. "He was utterly speechless. We'd surprised him with our abilities before, but this was completely unprecedented! However, it was not a discovery that made him happy."

"I... I bet not..." Alphys huffed bitterly.

"No wonder you guys were so desperate to change back," Unydne stated, looking somber. "This wasn't something you wanted, and now you're trapped like this... Knowing why they exist now, I take back everything I said about these forms being cool. I'm sorry..."

Papyrus shook his head. "No no! It's okay Undyne--not only did you not know, but despite everything, I think they're cool too! No other monsters have this ability, and while there's a lot that makes living in this shape hard, there's lots of things it's better at! I can run faster, my senses are improved, my reactions are quicker--as long as I keep myself sharp, I have all of that plus my regular charms! We can't help how we were made or what happened to us, but... we can at least try to be proud of what we are. And that's not what the man wanted us to be."

He looked to Sans, and he gave him another reassuring coo.

"Wow... that's really brave of you," Undyne said quietly. "I'm glad you guys got out of there in one piece then. I... don't know if I could have gotten through something like that."

Papyrus offered a nervous smile. "We didn't really know it could be any different. At least. Not at first. But, the man had assistants, and they'd talk... they didn't know we were listening, so... we learned quite a lot from their careless chatter!"

Undyne shook her head in disbelief. "Still, no one should ever go through anything like that... But, I guess there's just one last thing I really want to know... One burning question. Tell me where this guy is... so I can KICK HIS A--er, his BEHIND, all the way out of this sorry mountain."

Papyrus managed a weak laugh. "I appreciate your feelings... As it is, his behind has already been kicked."

"So, where is he? H-how... how come I've never heard of him? Was it covered up?" Alphys asked, eyes darting as if secret agents might pop out of the shadows.

At this, Sans sat up to make an exploding motion with his claws, and the two ladies frowned.

"An explosion? But nothing down here's ever exploded," Undyne reasoned, then wore a sheepish smile as a thought came to her. "At least, not any huge explosions that, uh, killed anyone."

"What Sans is referring to," Papyrus explained, "is both an explosion and implosion."

The two ladies looked at him skeptically.

"Um, so... we only ever heard bits and pieces, and a lot of it didn't make sense until we looked into it later... and we still don't know everything. But... the man and his assistants often talked about their other work, thinking we wouldn't understand them. One of their projects... was some kind of time manipulator. One day, their experiments with it... went wrong."

Sans made the exploding motion again--this time wearing a smug expression.

"You exploded him?" Unydyne surmised, incredulous.

"Only sort of!" Papyrus hastily deflected. "I only activated the machine. Sans threw him in. And! It's not like we knew it would explode! I don't remember much of the fight, or what happened after... but, we woke up, and the lab was broken and empty. There were no assistants, no doctor... It was empty."

"Wow. Well, I'm glad he's gone," Undyne said, sitting back, "even if I don't get to bring him to justice personally."

"What'd you do next? I-I mean, you must have escaped, b-but..." Alphys urged, and Papyrus nodded.

"Naturally! It ... was kind of scary, actually. We'd gotten separated in the eximplosion, and didn't find one another until well after we'd both made our way out. But, it was funny--we both came to the same conclusions, didn't we Sans?"

Sans nodded.

"That's right! We both, independently, realized... that no one else knew about the lab, the doctor, or his helpers. It was like they'd never existed--only we knew the truth. So we hid, and watched--and ever so deftly inserted ourselves into regular society! We also swore to ourselves--never again would we wear beastly forms. That no one remembered or knew made it that much easier to pretend none of it ever happened, so when we finally reunited, we... never mentioned what had separated us."

Sans nodded again, then snorted. A lot of good that had done them.

"So... that's the whole story, huh? Wow..." Undyne uttered. "I was a little mad that you'd lied to me about this, but... when it's something so big, and complicated... Man. I don't know that I wouldn't have done the same thing."

"Y... yeah..." Alphys trailed, seeming like she had a lot on her mind. "You felt like hiding everything, from everyone... was your only option."

"Even from Sans, huh?"

Papyrus nodded, looking somber. "Yes. I ran... that first time... because I didn't want to remind Sans, and put him through those memories too. I didn't know what, if anything, he remembered. A-and, if he didn't, then I didn't want to scare him by suddenly not being myself... I didn't want to come back until I wasn't a weapon anymore."

"Geez," Undyne uttered. "Yeah, I can kind of see why you'd think running was your best option."

"Yes, well, it didn't work," Papyrus huffed. "I know that now--though, Sans, why did you stay away after you escaped Undyne's visit? You left, and I..."

Sans' heart twisted, and he buried his head into his brother's chest with an apologetic warble. He hadn't meant to leave him alone. One day, he'd find that flower and pay him back for that. He seemed to be very good at returning favors.

"Well, you can tell me later," Papyrus sighed, then turned to look back at Undyne and Alphys. "So... now you know. We're... not... really monsters... the way anyone else is."

"Wh--no way!" Undyne blurted. "You have souls the same as the rest of us! So you were part of some weird, secret experiment, so what?! You guys are twice the monster that guy was."

Sans squinted, then laughed, and both Undyne and Papyrus glared at him.

"Oh my god! I didn't mean literally."

Alphys snorted. "W-well, I'm just glad he can joke about it. I can't even begin to imagine everything you guys went through... but now I want to help you even more! B-but... I understand if you don't want to go near the lab again. M-maybe I can make whatever I need portable..."

"Do whatever your brilliant mind thinks is best! I'm still a little nervous, but..."

"Hey man, c'mere," Undyne said, leaning forward to give him a hug. "Thanks for telling us, and... trusting us, I guess. I know it wasn't easy."

"Thank you... f-for being our cool friends," Papyrus replied, clearly trying not to cry. "I... I'm very glad... and I--I can't speak for him, but I think Sans is too."

Papyrus looked down at him, and Sans nodded. He hadn't wanted their secret to get out either, but now that it was--to people they could trust, at least--it felt like a little more weight had lifted from him. He turned to study Undyne and Alphys; they both looked sad, and he hated it--happiness was scarce down here. But maybe happiness didn't always let you move forward.

"Hey, what else are friends good for?" Undyne replied. "We'll be behind you every step of the way, cheering you on! I think I said it before, but I'm gonna say it again: I WON'T REST until BOTH of you are back where you want to be. I don't care if that's running around as a dragon-horse-dog-thing or on two legs as long as you guys are happy. That's all I care about."

Alphys nodded quickly. "Me too! I, um, know we're not as close, but... Hearing all this, everything you guys went through... Like Undyne said, I'm glad you trusted us. I... I need to, um... take care of some things first, I think... b-but, if you still want m-my help... w-well, I'll do what I can, okay?"

Papyrus shut his eyes gratefully. "Thank you. Sorry I, er, interrupted today's, things... But! That doesn't mean we can't try again! I won't be defeated yet! I am undefeatable!"

They couldn't help but chuckle at his optimism--it was a welcome sight, and Sans nuzzled him again before flopping dramatically to the cave floor. He hoped no one minded if he called this day a wash and napped.

"Sans, however, may be defeatable. He'd certainly defeated by lots of activity," Papyrus commented, earning more laughter.

"Well hey--maybe we shouldn't do any like, sciency stuff, but maybe we could still hang out, watch a movie or something," Undyne suggested, perking up, and Alphys lit up.

"O-oh! I know it's, um, inside the lab, but! We could watch on my big computer screen! I don't know if you like human TV shows b-but I found a new one in the dump the other day and I've been meaning to watch it, it sounds really interesting--! B-but! If you guys want to watch something else, th-that's fine too, I can watch it some other time--or we can do something else, we don't have to go in the lab, ha ha..."

Papyrus furrowed his brow, deep in thought--then stood. "No. You know what? Let's do it! I want to make memories of the lab that don't involve horrible torture!"

Undyne choked on her laughter. "Oh my god Papyrus. That's one way to tackle it!"

"And this is another!" He pounced on her, and they tussled while Alphys and Sans watched with amusement. Undyne emerged the victor this time, dragging Papyrus behind her in a headlock as she walked up to them, beaming.

"Alright, now that that's settled, should we head back?"

"Sure," Alphys giggled, getting to her feet, "though hopefully it involved less running. And squeezing."

"What, you think the rock's just gonna grow back?" Undyne teased, ignoring Papyrus' grunts as he tried to free himself. "We shouldn't have any trouble getting out, so I don't know what you're worried for."

"F-fair point," Alphys giggled. "Guess we should get started, then..."

Sans looked up from where he still lay on the cavern floor, and did some quick calculations. It would be hard, but...

The room flickered.

They were in Alphys' lab, right in front of the computer. Sans panted--moving that many numbers took a lot out of him. But so did walking all the way back.

"Sans!" Papyrus scolded, finally breaking free of Undyne's grip now that she was too stunned to maintain it. "You can't just keep shortcutting everywhere! It's very lazy! And what's worse, you've subjected all of us to said laziness! You're going to become a bad influence!"

Sans laughed despite being short of breath. He wasn't sure, but it seemed likely Papyrus was the only other person who had even a chance of doing that kind of thing--and he wasn't about to start. Besides, it was too fun to use it to mess with people to ever stop.

"W-well, it, certainly saved us a lot of time," Alphys wheezed. "I'd ask, questions, b-but I don't even know where to start, ha ha... Not to mention he still can't talk..."

Sans snorted. He wasn't giving up all his secrets today.

"Let's. Watch something," Undyne forced out, choosing to ignore the matter for now. "I dunno about anyone else but I'm ready to relax."

"Agreed! And, I have to say, the lab looks... pretty different, so I'm not feeling so scared," Papyrus said, slowly sitting. "It's amazing what cartoon characters in frilly pink dresses will do for the mood of a place!"

"H-hey!"

Sans listened to the banter as they set up the computer and argued over what to watch; he didn't care much either way and knew he'd fall asleep well before the halfway point anyway. All that mattered was that his brother's fear had faded, and he was laughing and playing again. In the very place that had caused him--both of them--so much pain... They were taking something back, after so much had been taken from them.

It felt like a turning point.

But he was too weary to think about it. Alphys had brought down a conveniently-folding couch and tossed them some blankets to get cozy, and they'd all settled in to watch some of her human movie collection. As the opening theme of the first film rose, Sans let his eyes drift closed. There'd be time for serious matters later--and at least for now, there was nothing to fear.

#undertalethingem writes #gaster blaster au #bark at the moon fic #sans (undertale)#papyrus (undertale)#alphys (undertale)#Undyne (undertale)#hmmm don't think i have much to say =u=;

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kvngjoong · 5 years ago

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yunho + nsfw a-z

can i preface this by saying i am soft for yunho only and i have never imagined him doing anything nsfw so sorry if this turns into soft hours for yunho. i love him with all my heart and have tried to make this as nsfw as i can. alas, it was hard :(

A: Aftercare

yunho, best boy of the millenium, does everything to make you happy and keep you comfortable. he will ask you if you need anything, forget about anything he wants and needs, and will just do whatever you say you want him to do. whether it’s sitting beside him for a while, or if you want to eat something (and he’ll have you sat on the kitchen side as he makes something you want), or if you just want to lay there because he really took it out of you, he’s on it. yunho accidentally became the aftercare king of the millenium too

B: Body part

this was the last part i did because i can’t pick out just one thing he would like about you…. he really does like everything. but if he really had to pick, it would be your lips. he likes how you kiss him, he likes how soft your lips are. he likes looking at your lips. as for him, he probably doesn’t think one part of him is all that good but since everyone hypes him for it, he likes his hands - especially the way that look wrapped around you (let’s not think about his hands around your neck hm?)

C: Cum

he doesn’t cum that much, to be honest, which is a good thing because then things don’t get messy and he likes it that way. since he doesn’t make too much mess he will prefer marking you with his cum. maybe on your face or your chest, or even your stomach, depending on what the position was or what he was doing beforehand

D: Dirty Secret

he will often act like he doesn’t get affected by pictures you send him, and he’ll often message you back that you look so beautiful or something that is typically yunho, but he does keep all the pictures you send and he does look back to them when he is feeling a certain kind of way - especially when he misses you. he has a secret folder full of your pictures you’ve sent to him. his favourites are when you’re wearing nothing but his big shirts and a thong

E: Experience

not all that much, enough to know what he’s doing and enough to be curious about it. something says he will feel a bit dirty looking stuff up so just asks questions. will definitely like someone who is experienced, or at least knows a lot of stuff, so that he can learn too

F: Favourite Position

his vanilla ass probably likes something basic, like missionary, but he’s into whatever. like i said, he’s curious about everything and wants to try everything so if he notices there is a specific position that you like, he will stick to it. likewise, if you say you want him in a certain position then he will assume that position for the rest of the time, or until you tell him to do something else. if you’re into trying everything too, he’ll probably end up liking something a bit more elaborate that involves different manoeuvres that he wouldn’t care to explain

G: Goofy

whilst he is very intimate, he can take a joke and isn’t all that serious when you’re doing anything sexual together. he knows that it isn’t all a joke or anything, but if you make a joke he’s not gonna glare at you or get angry. he likes that its not too serious between the two of you. it’s all smiles when you’re with yunho, and it wouldn’t be right if you didn’t crack at least one inside joke

H: Hair

probably doesn’t groom that much, and doesn’t expect you to either, he probably didn’t have that much of an idea what he was supposed to do. if someone told him he should shave, he will, but otherwise he will just kinda shrug it off

I: Intimacy

he is the KING of intimacy and no one can top him when it comes to intimacy. everything he does is intimate. even if he’s got a whip in one hand and a vibrator in the other, he will look to you with nothing but admiration and wonder for how much you’re enjoying it. for him it is the most trust and love someone can put into another person, and for you to let him see you in this position he has massive heart eyes. or this is all wrong and he’s a freak. he’s still an intimate one though

J: Jack Off

doesn’t really do it… not more than anyone else at least. he will jack off when he misses you and he’s in that kinda mood, but it’s not like every night or anything. he can go at least a few days and it’s not the end of the world if he doesn’t do anything. he’s a big bundle of love, not sexual advances

K: Kink

we always imagine the concept of the ultimate switch, but yunho is the ultimate switch. it will all depend on you. he can go either way. you’re into shibari? he’s got the rope delivered that evening. you want him to be the one tied up? well, he’s not sure how it will work, but he will make it work for you. he is naturally more vanilla, but he’s definitely curious about sex and will work with what you’re offering. a switch would be good for him so that he could experience some more of both sides, but if you’re either side then he can definitely work with you!

L: Location

prefers it in a space where he has some room to work, so doesn’t like anywhere cramped (and isn’t the biggest fan of shower sex if it’s a small cubicle type thing). he may be a bit traditional and prefers the bed, since it gives him a whole space of his own and he knows his boundaries etc. plus the bedroom door has a lock. he can stop people from getting into his room, not into the kitchen

M: Motivation

without sounding basic, it really is you. something like, his mind drifting off to something you did or said which sends a shiver down his spine and he’s texting you to find out what you’re doing later. he’s a big fan of when you initiate something, especially when you tease him a little, since he can spend the day in anticipation

N: NO

nothing really stands out as an obvious no for yunho… maybe the extreme stuff, because he doesn’t like the thought of hurting you. like if you want him to spank you, he’s fine, he’ll try it, but if you start to actually hurt he will see that as a big no no. also age play. he seems like he wouldn’t be into that much, at all. as before, he’s curious and likes to try things no matter how weird they seem, but he probably has some limits he’ll find along the way

O: Oral

he’s a pleaser, so he likes to give a lot but wants you to tell him what you want exactly. he likes it when you pull his hair as he eats you out and moan his name a little, so he will always go back for more if you’re treating him like that. in terms of receiving, he’ll never outright ask, but he will always be thankful for it (and he’s on the gentler side when you give him head, so he’ll have his hands it your hair but never pull - unless you do that for him)

P: Pace

on the slower side, because he would be worried to hurt you. if you want him to go faster he will, but he will have a natural setting on somewhere between ‘normal’ and slow. he’s heard you say too many times that he’s too big and has a bit of a guilty conscience if he goes too quickly. given he’s a touch vanilla, he’s not gonna wanna be making you hurt anywhere the next day

Q: Quickie

if you ask him for one, he’s happy to comply, but he will pout a little and ask if you can do something for real later because it won’t be as good as it could be. for yunho, his main goal is to show how much he loves you. there’s nothing overly bdsm in him and he really doesn’t want to rush anything, plus his libido isn’t over the top so he can wait, so he wouldn’t be the one asking

R: Risk

it wouldn’t be a turn on for him or anything. he’s be worried more than anything, he doesn’t want someone to walk in and see you in a compromising position more than anything. he doesn’t particularly care if they see him, but you?? he’d feel so bad. he probably wouldn’t mind doing anything when other people are home, but he’d lock the door and make sure they were doing something that kept them distracted

S: Stamina

It’s a bit obvious that people who have to perform have good stamina, so of course he can go for a while, but that doesn’t mean he wants to. Overstimulation isn’t a big thing for him and he would rather do one round of things being amazing and everything you wanted, compared to different rounds of you cumming in ten minutes. That being said, if you’re an hour in and only just cumming, but you want to continue, he’s game

T: Toy

again, he’s more on the vanilla side. if you want to use them on him, go ahead. if you want to have them used on you, you will have to show him what he does with them or the poor boy will be lost. he will look at you with wide eyes like ‘what is that for’ and listen as you show him. wouldn’t ever suggest using them, would wait for you to bring them up. but he wouldn’t mind using them if you liked them!

U: Unfair

he isn’t the tease - that’s all on you. when he wants to show you some attention he won’t tease you at all, he’ll just take it slow and that’s natural to him. so maybe you’ll ask him to go faster or do something else but he will listen to you and do it straight away. likes to be teased though. thats where his submissive tendencies come from

V: Volume

definitely quiet, sometimes so quiet you’re left wondering whether he fell asleep twenty minutes ago. but no, he didn’t, he’s just naturally a quiet one unless he knows that no one else is going to be around and he will unleash what he has inside him - aka, he will give you a groan or two. don’t be sad, it’s not you, it’s just how he is

W: Wild Card

surprisingly, yunho enjoys phone sex. you didn’t expect him to, but when you suggested it to him he was all for it. he knew exactly what to say and how to push your buttons and it was enough to have you cumming multiple times before he even seemed phased. what’s more surprising is that he starts asking you for phone sex (as in, when he’s not at home, he would rather be with you in person) and will literally practice what he’s going to say to you before it all goes down. it gets him super excited

X: X-Ray

he’s a big man. you’ve seen him. i’ve seen him. we’ve all seen him. there is no way that he is, in any way, tiny. he’s not gonna be anything for the record books but, maybe your own personal record book. expect to be surprised the first time you see him. definitely thicker than average and definitely longer. big. i’m leaving it at that

Y: Yearning

he loves you and everything about you, and for him this is a deep act of intimacy and he will always want to show you how much he loves you… but he knows when it’s right and when it’s wrong, and he won’t be too much to hande. he can control himself, and he can definitely wait a few days if he has to. no pushing you up against walls (again) because he remembers you saying you wanted something a bit rougher and he misses you

Z: ZZZ

likes cuddling after sex, so he will probably fall asleep with his head on your shoulder, smile on his lips, hair a bit messy, and arms around you. he doesn’t have to sleep afterwards, and he wont ever fall asleep straight away, it will be more like a lets chat for twenty minutes then imma peace out kinda thing. unless you want to get up and do something. then he’ll do that

#yunho smut #yunho reactions #yunho scenarios #yunho imagines #ateez smut #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #ateez #a-z

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a--knightinsourarmor · 4 years ago

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PLEASE, READ THOSE RULES BEFORE DECIDING IF YOU WANT US TO INTERACT

MAIN HUB BLOG/SIDEBLOGS: My main roleplay hub blog is knightinsourarmor and I follow, send asks, and like from there. I currently have seven sideblogs, one for each of my muses. Todoroki Shoto (repressedkindness), Pro-Hero Todoroki Toya (hopelesslypersisting), Amajiki Tamaki (sunlitsoul), Novak Castiel (BNHA verse for SPN canon) (shatteredoptimist), Kambe Daisuke (unwaveringdetermination), Levi Ackerman (dreamsofregret), and Castiel (defectivesoldier). If somebody follows me on any of these sideblogs, I’ll assume they wish to interact with them. You don’t need to follow my main blog, but I suggest you do so. On my main blog I post ooc posts, muse updates, activity updates, memes, starter calls while any testing muses will be portrayed there. If I find you only follow my main blog… You either haven’t read my rules and my muses page or you only care for my ooc shit?

REPLIES: I want to study as a med student and have to work at the same time. That means that I can be really slow when it comes to replies. I wish you understand and don’t feel offended or lose your interest if I take some time to answer our thread. I believe in quality over quantity. Some days I might reply to specific people. That has nothing to do with you or your writing. I just might need to roleplay a specific matter or thread or enjoy someone’s writing too much and need to focus on that for some time. Not replying may also mean the exact opposite. That I can’t come up with a good enough reply compared to yours and need some more time.

MUTUALS/NON-MUTUALS/FOLLOWING: When I follow someone, I have read their rules, about and verses pages, and some of their threads. If someone follows me and I haven’t followed back in a week or two, that means I’ve checked their blog but I can’t find myself writing with them. Non-mutuals can send me asks, like my starter calls, and reply to my open starters. If after some interactions I find myself interested in their writing, I will follow them back. When I become mutuals with someone and if I am not on a hiatus or semi-hiatus, I’ll write a small starter to break the ice. Nobody is forced to reply to it.

AGE: I am over the age of eighteen. I won’t write with anyone younger than the age of sixteen. I am open to roleplay almost anything and this will be a free NSFW blog. I won’t roleplay anything which will be considered R-rated with minors, meaning anything that includes sexual themes, intense graphic violence, drug abuse, etc. but I am open to write most things if both muns are of age.

TRIGGERS: I tag the triggers my mutuals have on their rules/about page. A doc with all the triggers tagged will be added soon. If you need me to tag a specific trigger, feel free to send me an ask or a message. I tag triggers like: ’#tw: yourtriggergoeshere’ without the quotation marks. My own triggers are ridiculous ones, but I’d be grateful if you tagged them. It’s aliens and cockroaches. That’s the reason I won’t be writing with any roleplay blogs having alien muses (those having a disgusting non-human form).

TAGGING: I have a very specific tagging system. If someone doesn’t want to see a specific character or faceclaim (you’ll need to block the character’s name again) on their dash, I tag the character in both threads and fanart as: #|| (ch.) character name || . For most anime, their last name goes first, except Shingeki No Kyojin (Attack On Titan).

SHIPPING: I prefer male x male relationships. I am a little picky with female OCs because of bad past experiences. I do not mind age gaps as long as both muses are adults (p.e. Levi x Eren) but I will not ship a young muse with someone who is like a father figure to them (Aizawa x Shoto). I am very slow to ship, for the reason I like building a relationship through threads. If there’s chemistry, feel free to discuss shipping or like my shipping call.

SMUT: I will not write explicit sexual scenes anymore. For muses of age and muses with high sex drive, depending on the chemistry between our muses, the limit is foreplay. Most of my muses are asexual. For them, it is very rare to happen anything more than kissing and cuddling. I will fade to black. I do not feel comfortable writing detailed sexual scenes anymore, the only part that interests me is the tension and trust built between our muses and aftercare. Inappropriate language may be present for all muses.

DRAMA: I don’t care for any drama or witch hunts going around. If I see any on my dash, this will result in me soft-blocking or hard-blocking you. I don’t want to participate in any of these and I find them disturbing.

FORMATTING: I cut posts and use small text and icons. If my roleplay partner doesn’t use icons, I won’t use any myself.

MULTIPLE THREADS: I don’t mind having multiple threads with the same person especially if I enjoy their writing.

POST LENGTH: My writing style is advanced literate. That means I need more than a paragraph to roleplay with. One paragraph is fine still, but as long as there’s something interesting to reply. I don’t mind how long your replies are. Just take notice that I will probably mirror you and my reply will be the same length.

SELECTIVE: I am selective when it comes to writing. I need a paragraph or more to reply. I need to roleplay in third person and I don’t roleplay on DM. I roleplay on discord so if we are mutuals, feel free to ask for it.

MAINS: I have blogs/threads which I prioritize over others. This isn’t personal. I just feel more motivated to reply to those. I don’t have exclusives.

TRACKING/REMINDERS: I usually track my threads with an app but it takes a lot of my time. I try to use a tagging system even if it doesn’t work as well as I want it to. Don’t be scared to remind me to reply to something I might have forgotten. I could possibly forget to add it to my tracker but constant reminders make me lose my interest in the roleplay (if there’s any). I understand and appreciate for someone to tell me I have forgotten something. Myself, I will remind someone of our thread after two months or even more.

TIME-SKIP: Well, I’m someone who can enjoy something that is slow. I am pleased with anything as long as there’s some really good and inspiring writing (how many times have I said this?). I can keep a thread for years (and I have) and not be bored of it. If you start getting bored we can time-skip but I’d want to discuss this first.

DROPPING THREADS: Unless it’s a one-liner, I don’t drop threads. If you do drop one of our threads, I’d appreciate it if you told me.

ASKS: You are free to send an ic ask to all of my blogs. My main or my sideblogs, as long as you specify, I don’t mind. You can continue an ask I have answered. I actually encourage you to do so.

STARTERS: My open starters are actually open to everyone and don’t hesitate to reply to one if someone else already has. Then I’ll reply to another post and tag you. If I offer to make a starter and you accept and you don’t reply after a month, and if I have messaged you and you haven’t responded but you are actually active, sorry but no matter how specifically we have plotted our thread, I’ll assume you are not interested anymore and turn it to an open starter. I put some time into those and I don’t want it to be to waste.

CROSSOVERS/AUS: I really love writing AUs and crossovers. I enjoy the possibility of characters from other fandoms interacting with each other. I have crossover verses for some of my muses and more will be added in the near future. For characters from fandoms I am not aware of, I’d like to write with them on a modern verse or one both muns agree on. For those characters, I’ll treat them like OCs.

OCS: I enjoy writing with OCs, as long as they have enough info and our writing mesh well. For most OCs, our first thread will be one that our muses get to know each other for the first time. I’d like for them to meet as complete strangers and let their relationship build naturally.

ENGLISH: English is not my mother language. I have learnt English completely alone and it’s something that has been hard for me. I understand telling me if I have made any mistakes or ask me if you didn’t understand something but I won’t take any criticism.

MEMES/FANART: This is something I had recently started to be annoyed with. Please, do not use me as meme or fanart source. This goes for roleplay partners or not. Please, reblog memes AND fanart from the source.

SPOILERS: This blog is not spoiler-free. I will tag spoilers: #|| spoilers || and try to keep everything under READ MORE. You have been warned.

THANK YOU FOR READING MY RUMBLING BEFORE FOLLOWING ME FIRST. PLEASE CHECK MY MUSES AND NAVIGATION PAGE AND FILL MY INTEREST CHECKER. ALSO YOU CAN CHECK MY VERSES AND OPEN STARTERS. YOU CAN MESSAGE ME AND PLOT ANY TIME. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. JUST FYI I MIGHT NOT BE TALKATIVE. THIS IS NOT PERSONAL AND DOESN’T MEAN I AM NOT INTERESTED FOR OUR MUSES TO INTERACT..

UPDATES

DAY/MONTH/YEAR: -

16/03/2021: REWRITTEN MY RULES

#|| mobile navigation ||#|| important post ||

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mental-health-advice · 7 years ago

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Submission about being social

{1} I used to be a very social person, but since middle school I can barely make friends with anyone. It used to be that I would try to make friends with people and they would ignore me or only answer me to avoid being rude. Sometimes people were nice enough to pretend to be friends with me for a while, but would eventually either tell me they didn’t want to hang out with me anymore or just try to distance themselves from me. I don’t know why people did this, I never saw any big differences

{2} between how I acted and how everyone else did. I remember noticing this from when I was 7 or 8, but when I was 14 it started to bother me, and it’s kind of gone downhill from there. Once I got to high school, I failed every group project because I couldn’t bring myself to ask anyone to work with me, I had no friends, and I stopped talking to my middle school friends and hoped they would forget I ever existed. Whenever I

{3} have to speak or do literally anything that’s not sitting in a chair, I’m always so awkward that I end up hating myself for the rest of the day, one time I fell down the stairs at school as over a thousand people were going to lunch, all of which immediately burst into laughter and I was genuinely thinking about going to the third floor and jumping off the rails. Eventually I started seriously thinking about if I was supposed to

{4} be in the world or not and started self harming, and that low point is where I’ve been for the last few years, but I am a few months clean. I know you didn’t really want a full autobiography, so feel free to skip it if it’s too long, but I felt like you had to know the whole story. I just want to be as social and happy as I used to be, but I don’t know how to get there or how to get people to start treating me like a normal person.

Hi love,

Thank you for getting in touch with us here at MHA! I am really sorry that you are struggling so much right now, but reaching out to us for help was a great step to take <3 I hope I’ll be able to give you a little information and advice about how to begin dealing with these negative feelings.

First of all, I am so so sorry that there thoughts have caused you to struggling with self harm and suicidal thoughts. I do need to say that if you ever take any action to end your life or seriously hurt yourself, then please call your local emergency services (e.g. 911) for immediate medical attention. If you are reaching a crisis point and are in danger of harming yourself then try to get yourself to the ER, or to somewhere safe and contact someone who can come and help to keep you safe. You can also always contact a helpline or web counsellor for 24/7 support. I want you to know that you are definitely meant to be part of this world, and you bring love and happiness that the world would greatly miss if you weren’t here. You are so loved <3

I am so sorry that you are struggling with urges to self-harm - but please know that you are definitely not alone. I, too, have used self harm as a way to cope with feelings of depression and anxiety. I am going to link you to some of our pages about self harm and ways to try and overcome the urges you may have to hurt yourself. Personally I found the most helpful thing when facing an urge, was to keep my hands busy by doing something active like knitting or playing an instrument. A technique I suggest you try is working with time goals - so whenever you are facing an urge to hurt yourself, say to yourself that you will not hurt yourself for 5 minutes, and then when that 5 minutes is up the urge may have passed entirely. If the urge has not passed, then keep going with promising yourself you won’t hurt yourself for x amount of time, until the urge goes away; I promise it will go away eventually <3

Information about self-harm Alternatives to self-harm Distractions from self-harm Reasons not to self-harm Youtube videos

I am not a professional, so I cannot make any definite comment on what you may be experiencing, but I do know that you are going through a really hard time right now and you deserve to get access to all of the help available to you. I really do think it would be a good idea for you to reach out to a professional for some support. A good place to start would be your doctor; they can explore possible diagnosis’s with you and will be able to refer you to some more specialist help from a mental health practitioner. I know how hard it can be to admit feelings of hurting yourself and loneliness, but the professionals you see only have your best interests at heart and will help you to explore the most effective treatment(s) for you. You may be offered medication, inpatient treatment, talking therapies, and many other options; it is about working with the professional and finding which treatment will work best for you in your current state. Talking therapy may be a really good place for you to start as a therapist will be able to help you understand your negative thoughts and what is triggering them; further to this, they will hopefully be able to give you some great coping techniques. Here is a link to our page about getting help; if this page leaves you with any questions about seeking treatment, then please drop us another message and one of the other admins or I will be more than willing to help you out!

Again, bearing in mind that I am not a professional, and anything I say is based off my own knowledge and experiences - it does sound to me like you may be experiencing a degree of social anxiety. To begin with, I’m going to link you to our page about social anxiety here; this has a lot of information about social anxiety and some of the diagnostic criteria.

To challenge negative thoughts, I found it really useful to stop, acknowledge my thought, and then ask myself whether I have any evidence to support that thought. For example, if I find myself thinking ‘he thinks i’m stupid’, I stop and ask myself ‘Are you just mind-reading? What evidence do you have to say that he thinks you’re stupid?’ Normally, you will find that you don’t have any evidence to support that thought, and challenging it can help you to dismiss and move over the thought. I suggest you have a look at our anxiety page series, specifically the self-help and calming down pages. Grounding techniques may also be really useful to you when your anxiety is increasing, we have a page about this here. I would recommend something physical like running your hands under cold water, and then saying the alphabet forwards and then backwards slowly.

Something I want you to try, if you feel able to, is to start looking at the patterns in your social anxiety. So think back to some of the times when you have experienced social anxiety, and start to break it down into:

Your thoughts before a social event (e.g. everyone will think i’m stupid)

The physical symptoms you experience (e.g. panic attack)

The negative view you have of yourself (e.g. i look really ugly today)

Avoidance behaviours you use (e.g. playing on my phone)

Your thoughts after a social event (e.g. everyone hates me and won’t want to spend time with me again)

It may also be really good to keep a diary for whenever you feel anxious in the future and note down how each attack fits into the above categories. This can be really useful as it helps you to understand what is behind the anxiety and it means you can start tackling it in smaller sections. Recognising and tackling it in smaller sections can help you to feel less overwhelmed and lost in the negatives!

When dealing with anxiety in social settings it can be really tempting to throw yourself into the deep end and try and face the issue completely head on straight away; sometimes this can actually hinder progress rather than help. So maybe a good place to start would just be spending time with a close friend that you trust and maybe letting them introduce you to someone new? Then slowly you can start meeting more and more people; hopefully just meeting one or two at once will build up your confidence and make the process a little less scary for you.

Online is also a great way to make friends or at least first contact someone. For example, I have made a lot of friends on Tumblr through recovery pages or fandom accounts. There are plenty of wonderful people online who will be more than willing to chat to you, and i’m sure there is at least one person that you share a common interest with, no matter how niche it may be! Or a little message to someone on facebook, like just a ‘hi! how are you?’ is a great way to start up a conversation and begin building a bond with someone. Hopefully, talking to people online will make it a little easier for you to start talking to them in person too! Have you looked at any local groups or volunteer programmes that you would be interested in joining? Sometimes just knowing that you have an interest or passion in common with someone can make it a little easier to begin chatting with them.

I hope this has been of some use to you, lovely. If there is ever anything else that we can help you with, then please don’t hesitate to get back in touch. Take care!

‘‘Fall down seven times, stand up eight’‘.

Rhiann xo

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emperorhwangs · 7 years ago

Note

if you have to ship the minbooties with wanna one members (aside from minhyun) who would you ship with who and why?

AHHHHH I LOVE THESE THINGS HOHOHO *INTENSE KNUCKLE CRACKING*

this came out way too long so sorry your thumb is probably gonna be jacked as fuck

@hwangminyeo : I would probably ship Abby with Bae Jinyoung if it weren’t illegal ahahhahah because I see Abby as the glue who is capable of bringing everyone together. She was the one who reached out to me to invite me into the minbooties gc and I’m honestly so thankful because I’ve gotten to know 5 absolutely beautiful and entertaining mintrash that are able to make you feel so warm inside through just a few words over LINE that it’s unbelievable, and I’m so so thankful. She’s the type of person who is gentle, friendly, and patient enough to coax literally anyone out of their shell, and she always makes people feel included. She’s always feeding us well with Minhyun content bc she knows the Minbooties get hungry at all times of the day, so she’s really caring and sweet. I think that she’s exactly the type of person who would be able to coax Baejin out of the walls he puts up and then he’d feel so free and relaxed with her. He’s so different from his seemingly cold “deepdark” exterior and we all know he’s a sweetheart that I think would just coincide with Abby’s super relaxed and giving personality and they’d be so compatible and be able to have great times together. But if we’re going to stay with legal relationships, then I’d definitely ship Abby with Daniel. Abby takes on a lot by constantly feeding us and being selfless that she doesn’t take enough time for herself, so someone as loving/caring/lighthearted as Daniel would go perfectly with her to ease some of that stress. Daniel would undoubtedly put her needs before all else and probably has endless patience and would always be laughing at everything she does but also be super attractive at the same time like wtf. Not to mention he can be so damn RUDE and I bet abby has a secret kink for that hhoohohoho. Abby has amazing visuals that really compliment Daniel’s. While most of the Minbooties have either soft visuals or colder, elegant visuals, Abby’s visuals definitely give off a more “sexy” vibe? Sorry ABBY LOLOL PLS DONT CRINGE but Daniel is the same; he can look like a peach bunny and then BOOM he’s stroking his thigh and you’re pregnant.

@hyuncakes/ @cafewoozi : I would ship Bonnie with Jihoon (you guys are probably so wtf while reading this but hear me out). When you search the word “pure” in the dictionary, Bonnie’s picture shows up. She is incredibly perceptive and picks up on the little things you say while texting her and she always replies with such sweet, wholehearted things. I literally cannot properly describe how nice Bonnie is; she’s the type of person that seems like she would give the best hugs in the entire world. She’ll reply to messages that you’ve sent a long time ago because she’s the type of person who will always make sure you are feeling loved and validated (which everyone always wants and I appreciate you so much for it). She’s really rational, mature, and down-to-earth and basically the type of person that you’d always want to be around with because just talking to her will brighten your day. If Bonnie were a feeling, she’d be the feeling of that warm pocket of sunlight that comes through the window and hits a certain part of the room and its the perfect light to nap under because its the perfect warmth and comfort omf does this even make any sense because ?? But she doesn’t seem to see what a catch she is and Park Jihoon seems like the type of person that would be sooooooo sweet and attentive and almost overly caring for his s/o, and he would give all the love and attention Bonnie deserves. Bonnie is, imo, the mom friend who stays reasonable and can be a really calming person if you start to rage too much; just her presence is very calming? If that makes any sense lololol. She’s definitely a secret nasty as well, though, and we’ve all seen that Jihoon can be RUDE AS HELL when he wants to, and I think he could adequately quench the thiRST if ;)))))))) ykwim :))))))))))) Jihoon and Bonnie would be a really dynamic couple full of cutesy dates and lots of skinship and you’d see them on the streets together with Bonnie wearing Jihoons’ sweatshirt or smth and you’d just get that feeling of “i WANT THAT”

@minhwangs ok sarah is so DAMN thiRSTY lol but me as well i am 2nd sinner and she’s lowkey crazy too so I think I would ship her with Ong. She’s got a really bright, active personality and overall is someone that I think is really fun to be around. Not to mention, I think she would look really nice with Ong as their visual are similar to me in a way. Sarah is actually my ideal visual (lol that sounds so creepy whOOP) but I really really think that girls that have a defined, angular, and sharp facial structure are soosososso beautiful like I reALLy REALLY like Sarah’s facial structure SO MUCH it’s UNHEALTHY. Her bone structure is the LITERAL VISUAL DEFINITION OF IDEAL FACIAL STRUCTURE imo and Ong also has prominent, defined facial features. Their babies would be literal visual gods straight out the womb. I think a relationship between Ong and Sarah would be lighthearted and carefree as both of them strike me as fun-loving people. They would have a lot of great, memorable times and double as best friends, not just a couple. Ong also definitely softens for girls and I don’t have any doubt that he’ll be very cutesy with his s/o, even if he’s annoying the other 70% of the time. He’d take really good care of Sarah and put her needs first whenever it truly mattered. Because both of them are such bright and energetic people, I think they’d be able to lift eachother’s spirits in dark times. Sarah tends to give a lot; I think she’s pretty selfless from what I can tell in the messaging patterns? She responds to every message and she’s also so considerate (i was spamming a gc with her about smtm and she didn’t want to trash everyone else’s feed so she suggested a pm, which I didn’t even consider). But she also forgets to take care of herself sometimes (go to sleep, sarah!) and I know Ong would make sure to care for her. As carefree and jovial as he may seem, Ong is highly intelligent. He’d be able to properly care for her in his own weird Ong way, maybe even without her realizing he’s always looking out for her. He’d probably guise it in a joke but he’d be really just making sure that she was in the absolute best condition possible. He’d probably playfully protest at everything that Sarah suggests but he’d undoubtedly go along with everything she suggests, just to make her happy.

@2hyeons I would ship Ying with Minyeoooo~~~ Firstly on a purely superficial level, both of them have similar visuals in that they are coldly attractive, like ice. It’s a weird way to describe her, but Ying’s appearance is very elegant and sophisticated; she gives off a particular aura that Minhyun’s resting visual also gives. She’s the quietest in the group chat but she always says the absolute sweetest things and you can feel her warmth, friendliness, and kindness through her messages. Her actual personality is a contrast against her ice queen visuals because she’s so warm-hearted, which I find to be extremely similar to Minhyun. When I first saw Minhyun on pd101 (the scene where he forgot the lyrics during his reevaluations) my exact thoughts were ��wow, he’s gorgeous but probably a dick” (which was SO OFF). I also think that Ying has her SHIT TOGETHER, like she has her priorities in order and is very intelligent and probably works really hard, just like Minhyun. Nu’est members chose Minhyun as their smartest member. His work ethic is incredible. He isn’t naturally a dancer (if you couldn’t tel from the iconic minbooty dance), but he slaves away so he can pull off his parts flawlessly. In the older Nu’est videos, you can pick up on his quick-witted personality that I think would balance really really well with Ying. He’s softened as he’s matured and I think he would be sosososso compatible with Ying in that he would find her intelligence endlessly attractive, as well as her dedication and work ethic. Ying is also an explosion of personality when she tumbles in; she always offers us adamant support against hateful anons and also is the same level of absolute t r a s h for the minbooty like you will 100000% catch her bein thirsty as HELL. She’d be able to make Minhyun laugh a lot with her radiant personality and humor. He’s extremely caring and selfless, so he’d watch over Ying well. Ying doesn’t acknowledge that she’s an actual empress, and Minhyun would make sure to let her know every single day. I think Ying would appreaciate Minhyun’s love for skinship and his affection (look at how he treats Ren+Seonho+Baejin) and they’d have the absolute CUTEST couple moments.

@luminous-point OK so STORYTIME: when I first entered the minbooties gc and had no idea who anyone was or what they looked like, I assumed that Reni had used a female idol that I didn’t know as her profile pic. I legitimately 1000% thought that she was an idol based off of her picture and I slowly slowly came to the realization that the picture wasn’t of an idol and was actually indeed RENI herself. I was in absolute shock and for the first week or two that I was in the gc, every time I opened it and saw her little icon I would just think “she is seriously so pretty” and be genuinely in awe. Ok anyways. I would ship Reni with Ha Sungwoon~ I noticed Sungwoon right away the very first episode of PD101 when they did that little segment on the strong visuals of the season and they showed a literal .5 second clip of his face but i was absolutely HOOKED on him since then. He was my absolute favorite visual in the first episode, and then his evaluation performance absolutely blew me away. Talent and visual = Reni. Both Reni and Sungwoon have very strong visuals that I absolutely am in love with, and both are extremely hardworking and talented. Reni is seriously sosososososso important to the minbooties and I appreciate her so much, though I’ve never told her. She’s dually very mature/level-headed yet also etremely playful/fun/bright. She slaves away subbing Nu’est content to give happiness to the fandom and pours so much and time and effort into it just for other people’s enjoyment. Whenever she encounters an issue, she approaches it in a very calm, collected manner that I really respect, and I think that Sungwoon would find it incredibly attractive. Sungwoon is extremely hardworking and imo, underrated. His performance in “Downpour” was most memorable to me, and he was also the very first person to nail the entire “Never” choreography when everyone else could barely get through the first portion and they still voted him off the team smH so both of them don’t get their hardwork acknowledged nearly enough. Reni is also WILD AF (don’t deny it) and I think Sungwoon is definitely the type that’d like that have a really really good time so they’d have really amazing, unbeatably fun dates. Sungwoon is also the type to dote on and be really really loving towards his s/o, which I think would be great for Reni. Reni is super super big sister vibes~ I wanted to EAT my own arm because of college apps and she offered to help and take time out of her own day to read over my essays and gave such amazing advice, so I want someone who I know would treat their s/o like a literally precious jewel for Reni.

#jesus fcking christ #i'm sorry i took so long to answer this anon #i wrote a little more every day bc i've been really busy #but this was fun!!#answered

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kieran-holt · 8 years ago

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chatzy | counselor meeting

Date: 01/07/17 Characters: Cabin counselors About: Chiron and the counselors discuss the aftermath of the Forge fire. Warning: vomit

Brent gets here early, hair still damp from the shower, and save the two seats on either side of him for Macey and Jacob.

Laurel gets there early too and offers a polite smile to Brent and then takes a seat across from him.

Brent returns the smile. "How are you holding up?"

Fizz was texting when she walked in the door. She looked at the free seat next to Laurel. "Care if I sit here?" she asked.

Laurel "Um, I'm fine," Laurel responds to Brent and then looks over at Fizz with the same tight smile. "Yeah, by all means," She says and even pulls out the chair for Fizz a little.

Jesse didn't want to wake Chase to ask him to take his place, so he walks in early as well, heading straight to an open seat without looking at anyone.

Fizz smiled and took a seat next to her. She looked at Brent and flashed a smile at him also.

Rae strolls in with her required cup of coffee needed to survive every counselor meeting and takes a seat.

Lulu skips in with a bright smile on her face. She took a seat, sitting criss-cross on it, waiting for the meeting to start.

Mikey stumbles in after Rae, his head down and takes a seat too.

Fizz tried to get Mikey's attention. "Hey, how's your brother?" she asked him quietly.

Mikey hears Fizz and looks up. It's obvious he's been through a lot as he looks tired and slightly shaken. "He's doing... better than how we found him," He responds. "He keeps thinking he's better than what his condition really is."

Macey looks up from her phone when she walks in and slides into her seat next to Brent. "Jacob's not here yet?"

Brent "No," he sighs. "Should I text him?"

Macey leans back, and low key checks to see if any of the chairs in the room are breakable. "Probably."

Fizz "Alec is baking something for him, I'm glad he's doing better," she told Mikey.

,L goes to the meeting straight from the Aphrodite cabin and takes a seat.

Brent quickly texts Jacob: 'you coming?'

Jesse was timed out

Jacob R. quickly texted back: 'do i have to?'

Macey responds because it's a group message, "lmao yeah sorry"

Mikey nods slowly. "Tell him thank you from us," He says, pausing. "I'm glad he's better too... And thank you for being there and helping us."

Ariana enters after a lot of people and then looks around and sighs and then takes a seat.

Fizz "You and Blue did most of it, I wish we were there sooner, maybe the luck would've worked," she replied.

Brent 'I have a seat saved for you.... :)'

Laurel listens to Fizz and Mikey's conversation intently tbh

Jacob R. '!!!'

Jacob R. entered after reading Brent's text and took his seat. "Thank you for colonizing this spot for me."

Mikey "I think it did help. He could have been worse. It all could have been worse."

Brent "Anytime."

Bentley wants to be literally anywhere else but here but shows up anyway.

Macey chuckles.

Ariana probably has a seat saved for Ben tbh.

Bentley takes the seat next to Ariana and stares at his hands.

Rory walks in, barely paying attention to anything. She looks around quickly, sees Mikey and beelines for the empty chair next to him. Sliding into it, she looks over at him, giving him a quiet "Hey." in greeting.

Fizz "Well, then I'm glad Alec and I could help," she replied, a bit surprised that their luck actually worked unlike what she thought.

Jack shows up and slinks quietly to his seat.

Mikey is surprised to see Rory. "Hey, he made you come?" He asks, talking about Keaton.

Chiron enters the room and glances around the group. "Is everyone here?"

Rory nods her head. "Yeah, eventually, we went back and forth for a while. I didn't want to leave him alone." She looks over Mikey, making sure he at least looked okay. "Are you okay?"

Kieran walks in, hands in his pockets, and strides toward his seat without a word or glance to anyone else.

Mikey nods as he listens to Rory. "Figures. He's so stubborn always, but I didn't know it got worse when he's hurt," He explains and then nods again. "I'm as okay as I can be right now." He shrugs sadly.

,Jesse looks up as Kieran walks in, and looks confused.

Rae glances around, "Looks like it." She answers for Chiron.

Rory smiles for a second before it drops again. "Neither did I honestly. But, he definitely does." Now she nods. "I'm glad you didn't get hurt either." Hearing Rae speak up, she looked away from Mikey, not realizing Chiron had walked in.

Laurel looks at Chiron when he talks on time omg

Chiron clears his throat. "As I'm sure you all know by now, there was an incident at the forges late last night. First of all I want to tell all of you that it was not an outside attack or from a self-proclaimed enemy. We're under no threat of attack."

Rae raises an eyebrow at Chiron's words.

Lulu gasped a little being oblivious as usually. "Do you mean someone inside did that?"

Rory tenses slightly at Lulu's question, really wanting to answer to be no.

Chiron sighs. "Unfortunately, yes. That means it was done by a camper."

Kieran isn't quite paying attention. He leans back in his seat and looks in Chiron's direction somewhat mindlessly.

Laurel "Was it intentional?" She asked Chiron, figuring that she should speak up if she was there.

Fizz 's eyes widened. "You mean someone in this camp set the forges on fire?" she asked, that's what he did say but Fizz was shocked to say the least. "If I find whoever it is, I swear," she mumbled, feeling bad for Keaton and also knowing that it could've probably easily have been her sibling in the forges.

Macey can only think about that time the armory blew up and because of this parallel looks even more upset.

Chiron sighs. "That, I don't know. I can only hope not."

,Jesse frowns and looks down.

Rory doesn't know if she should be pissed, screaming, or on the verge of tears. "Do we have any idea who it is." She says this as more of a demand than a question, not really looking at anyone as her voice shakes.

Jack folds his arms and sinks in his seat.

Brent leans back, rubbing his face.

Jacob R. clicks his tongue at the news.

Mikey is sad and stuff.

Chiron "That's why I found it important to have this meeting. I believe all of you can talk to the rest of your cabinmates. I have no idea whatsoever who would do this, and I don't want you to accuse anyone. But I would like all of you to reassure your siblings of their safety and see if they know any information that might be useful."

Macey frowns deeper, because that's much easier said than done.

Lulu doubts that Casey did it.

Fizz "How would you know it's not someone in this room," she said not directly to anyone.

Bentley leans a little closer Ariana. "How am I gonna get all of my siblings together?" he jokes under his breath.

Jack pushes his sunglasses up onto the bridge of his nose.

Kieran sighs and crosses his arms.

Brent "So, you want us to gently interrogate our siblings?"

Theo walks in, trying to go unnoticed as the group spoke amongst each other, listening intently to catch the gist of what the meeting was about.

Macey sighs and slides down her chair a bit. She won't be interrogating her siblings.

Rae "Sounds lovely." She takes a sip of her coffee.

,Jesse can't imagine any of his siblings having the energy to commit arson.

,Jesse apparently doesn't know his siblings

Jacob R. "So," he starts attempting the whole diplomacy thing. "If we catch the person that did this... What is the solution?" He wanted to suggest murder, but not everyone was into giving violence a chance.

Fizz "I don't know, maybe set them on fire," she mumbled to herself.

Ariana makes a noise at Bentley's joke on time omf

Macey looks over at Jacob, feeling #momproud.

Bentley wants to suggest something somewhat violent but really thinks it's a bad time to remind everyone he's in the room.

Brent is also #dadproud.

Rory feels her fingers start to tingle a little bit and clenches her fists, not really feeling like zapping any with lighting just because she was pissed.

Theo leaned against the wall, thinking that a simple truth spell would solve this rather than interrogating everyone, but kept his thoughts to himself, letting his mind wander back to why he didn't just stay with Letty in her cabin.

Chiron is lowkey proud of Jacob too tbh. "We can discuss that now, but I don't think a punishment is necessary unless this is something that was planned with malicious intent. I would like to give people the benefit of doubt first."

Bentley "Yeah because look how great that's turned out before..." he mumbles under his breath.

Fizz "But someone was hurt, shouldn't they get something for not being fucking careful?" she asked.

Rae "Um," She raises her eyebrows again, "No one's getting punished for damaging camp property? Or, like, arson? Isn't Keaton like, seriously hurt?"

Rory looks over at Fizz and Rae when they speak, she spoke before really realizing. "Oh yeah, Keaton's hurt." Her voice is a mix of tired and annoyed. "He was inside when it blew, and a beam crushed his leg."

Chiron "I do think the severity of a punishment is depending on the persons intention. So, what do you propose we do if this was an accident?" he asks, giving the general group the floor.

Rory looks at Chiron. "Why does that matter?? Whether or not it was on purpose they seriously hurt Keaton, and oh yeah - blew up the forges!" She leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. "Crush their leg with a metal fucking beam and see how they like it."

Fizz doesn't protest rory's idea.

Brent "Or maybe we don't maim people," he says to the ceiling. "Because we're better than whoever did this."

Lulu "Maybe violence isn't the best idea."

Rory doesn't look at either of them. "I'm just saying, it being an accident doesn't change what they did."

Fizz "And say it wasn't an accident? Then what?"

Jack is sitting very tensely, focusing on breathing.

,L doesn't want to have to treat another severe burn victim but doesn't say anything, resting her chin in her hands and her elbows on her knees.

Macey "What about like, revoking a lot of their camp privileges? Y'know, they can't be out past certain times, can't do certain things. Like, an ankle bracelet or house arrest or something..?"

Brent nods. "I agree, and I can't condone a violent solution."

Bentley sighs and looks at Ariana like 'are you kidding me.'

Jesse "Especially if it was an accident," he says quietly in agreements wih Brent and Macey.

Jesse: *agreement

Fizz "Again, what if it wasn't an accident?"

Kieran wonders what Malia would say or what any of his siblings might want him to say, but ultimately says nothing.

Jacob R. notices Ben's look and makes convinces himself that there isn't a reason to throw another chair in a public place like this.

Theo rests his head back against the wall, listening to the arguments on both sides, leaning more towards delivering a minor hex to the culprit. "What about solitary? It's non lethal and non violent, and still gets the point across in a pretty strong way."

Bentley looks at the new speaker and literally all colors drains from his face.

Jack has gone pale. He clutches his stomach and slouches in his his seat.

,L shakes her head. "Was anyone in the forges when the fire started? Besides the one who started it?"

Macey "If it's not an accident then we figure out something more serious when we get there? I don't know, Chiron just said to give ideas. That was my idea."

Jacob R. squints at Theo. "Nah."

Fizz hesitated for a minute, not wanting to answer L at first but instead decided she should. "Alec saw the fire and instantly went to me," she said in reply to Lavina. "But when we got back it blew up."

,L nods. "Then we don't know if the fire was malicious or not."

Jack rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 17

Lulu "Is there anyway we can prove it's arson or not?"

,L frowns and puts her chin back into her hands. "Are we sure it was someone who started it?"

Theo lets out a sigh. "Why not just use a spell to figure it out? I'm sure between me and Declan we can figure something out."

Jack pushes his seat away from the table as calmly as he can, muttering an apology to the person sitting beside him. He starts around the table toward the exit, increasing in speed as he gets closer. He makes it to the door, clutching the handle, but can't get the door open before he curls over and vomits onto the floor.

Lulu "Ew"

,L stands, hands out, already ready to treat Jack.

Jesse straightens up and looks up from the table to look over at Jack, worried.

Jacob R. leans over to Brent and Macey. "Yikes, am I right?"

Macey grimaces and looks away, nodding at Jacob.

Brent is watching Jack carefully.

Rae pushes her chair back but relaxes when she sees L's got it covered.

Fizz looked at Jack, confused.

Jack stands frozen at the door, his hand stuck on the knob, torn between fleeing and sinking to the ground. "Sorry."

Kieran puts his face in his hands, looking away from Jack's direction. He shakes his head, trying not to feel queasy himself.

,L walks over to Jack calmly, holding a hand out to him but not touching him. "Are you okay?"

Ariana is thoroughly grossed out.

Rory covers her nose and mouth with her shirt, looking away from the door.

Theo grimaces at the scene before him, shaking his head. "Right, that's my cue to go. I'll talk to Dex, fill in Letty and all that. Let me know if something changed," he says offhandedly to Chiron, stepping over the mess and making his exit.

Jacob R. finds it wild that so many people are so easily grossed out considering that germs were used to colonize the country they now lived in.

Jack shakes his head. "I need to go." Jack steps aside to let Theo past before following out the door.

,L frowns, looking between the vomit, the door, and then at everyone else.

Jacob R. glances at Chiron. "Should we... Continue... or?"

Rae gets up to help L, then looks behind her at everyone else, "Well, I guess we're cleaning this up."

Laurel stands when Rae does and walks over to Rae and L. "I can help." She offers.

Ariana "If he's leaving, then so am I," She says when Theo leaves and then peaces out.

,L blinks at Rae and Laurel. "With what?"

Rae looks exasperated at everyone, "I don't fucking know, but we're not gonna sit here and finish this meeting with vomit on the floor."

Brent grabs Macey's arm and whispers in her ear. "Do you think it was Jack?"

Mikey is confused why someone threw up ???? is still sitting next to Rory tbh

Jesse "I can help clean too."

Mikey "If he was sick he should have stayed at his cabin. Someone could have filled him in later." He says to Rory.

Macey was trying not to look at the scene and not feel sick herself. She blinks at Brent words, the thought not having crossed her mind. "I...I mean, that's a thought? I guess why else would he..." She motions to the floor, "Unless he was actually sick."

,L walks out, down the hall to a closet, then returns with a mop and bucket. "You guys can sit down. Too many cooks spoil the vomit."

Rory looks at Mikey and nods her head in agreement, still using her shirt as a barrier.

Macey oh was also whispering quietly to her boo

Fizz "Does someone have like perfume or some shit on them to cover up the smell?"

Rae frowns, "You sure?"

Brent nods. "Yeah, unless he's actually sick. Are there any other people in his cabin?"

Macey purses her lips, thinking. "I don't think so. He's in Phobos, right?"

,L nods, already mopping up the mess. "Uh huh. Isn't even that much."

Laurel smiles at L. "Thanks for taking one for the team," She states and then sits down again.

Jesse nods at L, but stands up anyway. "I'm, uh, gonna go then."

Rae sits back down but makes a mental note to make L some cookies or something later.

Kieran sees Jesse stand and calls out, "Wait." He stands up as well. "I'll walk you back."

Jesse pauses and looks at Kieran, even more confused now. "Okay."

,L shrugs and finishes mopping fairly quickly. When she sees that the meeting is basically over, she leaves at the same time as others, carrying the bucket and mop.

Kieran excuses himself from the table and walks out of the room, waiting for Jesse in the hall.

#jesse #chatzy #jack

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ah17hh · 4 years ago

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Trust & Poly: Need an "Am I the asshole?" moment via /r/polyamory

Trust & Poly: Need an "Am I the asshole?" moment

First, some context.

Long term relationship (over 10 years), young children. Partner (30s, F) has been struggling with depression in the last couple of years. I (30s, M) went through a really dark period of kink-shaming myself and thinking that my sex drive was a burden for her, especially during her own struggles. But eventually through forums and communities online, I started to finally be able to apply some labels to myself other than "deviant" and "perverted". It was a huge relief, and the guilt / frustration wasn't feeding back into our relationship.

Conversations with people moved from forums and communities to messaging apps, directly with individuals. Even though I made it very clear from the outset that I just wanted to discuss experiences and thoughts on kink (they would never see me or know my name, I had no intention of meeting with them or anything beyond chatting, etc), I soon realised that when these conversations involved women, I wasn't comfortable with this being something my partner wasn't aware of.

What followed was a massive, essay-style explanation of where the guilt and the self-shaming had come from, my commitment to being faithful and (at the time) monogamous, and that I'd primarily sought to alleviate the strain my curiosities were putting on her. She was supportive, it opened up a lot more dialogue between us, and she gave her consent for these conversations to continue and be of a sexual nature.

Fast forward a year or so.

We've always been a good team, our strengths and weaknesses tend to compliment each other well. The main exception to this is that we're quite different in how we show affection and what we need from each other (I'm the introvert, she's the extrovert). It's something we always work on trying to balance, and don't always get it right.

The idea of any kind of ethical non-monogamy crossed our paths via a documentary, and she's very quickly intrigued. Reading blogs, listening to podcasts, the works. She's the sort of person who gets really into an idea and dives straight in! She proposed Polyamory as something that might benefit us both: an opportunity for me to explore more kink-related relationships, an opportunity for her to get close to more extroverted people.

To condense a long process, we basically agreed that we'd explore it carefully together. Our first priority was keeping our relationship strong, and that we just wanted to expand our happiness both as a couple and individuals. Small, incremental steps; checking in with each other and making sure we were both comfortable. But even though we only went as far as exploring things online, we had a few wobbles; she'd get very excited and push further than I was, or that we'd discussed. It was a journey with ups and downs.

We'd started with the idea that she'd be exploring her bisexual curiosity, and (something I know can be a red flag to some ENM / Poly people) is that I wasn't yet ready for her to explore with other men. The reasons for that are long and complicated, but regardless, I had to be honest with her about it. We'd talked about honesty and transparency, and I couldn't lie. I repeatedly said that if she felt that it wasn't fair for me to explore things with women and her not men, then I simply wouldn't. I was happy to refrain from doing anything she wasn't cool with, because the point was that we were both comfortable. She still encouraged my exploration with other women, but I held back from doing so while we focused on her exploration with women.

A while back she fell asleep with her phone open to a messaging app (yes, genuinely), and I saw she was still messaging a guy. It was someone that she'd connected with previously during an "oops, I got too excited" phase, where she'd apologised and told me she was ending those conversations. And it wasn't just platonic. I read it - which I am still absolutely not proud of - but I already knew from that unlocked phone on the bed that she'd done something we'd agreed that she wouldn't. I needed to know what I was dealing with.

I was totally on edge about it for a day or two, and had no idea how to handle it. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, that she was just letting her excitement overcome her willpower. That she wasn't trying to be deceitful or break my trust, and that she'd gotten carried away rather than intentionally breaking the rules we'd set at that stage.

So I steered a conversation around to talking about people cheating on each other, relating to what we were watching on Netflix. I talked about how you can't just self justify something behind your partner's back, that whatever you agree your boundaries are, you do it together. I literally gave the example that she wasn't unfaithful for messaging women, because we'd agreed on it together. And that it would be if she was messaging guys, because we'd agreed she wouldn't. That we'd set those boundaries together. That I was grateful that she'd agreed to them and I was thankful we could communicate like that.

She suggested we carry on watching TV and that it was just part of the show.

I had been waiting for her to be honest with me. The woman that I've trusted without question for over a decade; I was convinced she'd come clean when it clicked in her head. I literally didn't know what to do, so I waited until the next night. I was making conversation about the one woman I knew she was messaging, and then I just said "Is she the only one you're messaging?" in a friendly sort of "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" kind of way. She said yes.

I asked about specific women I knew she had been messaging previously. No to all of those. I moved onto "Anyone from <online communities> or anything?" and she mentioned that a random guy still emailed her occasionally. That seemed trivial in comparison, so I used it to follow up with "Oh, I didn't know you were chatting to any guys". And she said he was the only one.

Getting desperate to give her another opportunity to come clean, I specifically asked about the actual guy I'd recognised that she was messaging. "Oh, yeah, he messages me sometimes out of the blue and I'm just polite and friendly back". But I knew from what I'd seen that they'd messaged every day, practically. Quite flirty. She'd often message first in the mornings. Some sexual topics mentioned. So I responded with "Oh, OK. But nothing flirty? Nothing sexual?". She gave me a casual, breezy "no". This was a guy she had admitted thinking about sleeping with, when she'd told me she was ending conversations with guys the last time.

Eventually I got her to look me in the eye and answer direct questions to which I knew the answer was "yes", and she was still saying "no".

I told her what I knew. By that point I'd been stewing on it for a few days, and I was able to just stay calm and explain. After a few moments of a very quiet "I've been caught" expression, she broke down crying. She was apologetic, telling me how terrible she was. I comforted her, told her that we'd get through it, and that she wasn't a bad person. I held her and comforted her through a panic attack, and said that we'd be OK.

The next day I told her I was still on board with us exploring Poly, to try and bring more happiness into each of our lives and bring that energy back to our relationship. That what had upset me was her breaking the rules we'd agreed, and being so dishonest about it. That while she'd severely damaged my trust, I was still committed to making our relationship work. I was hurting, and I apologised to her that it'd take some time for me to feel as close to her as I had been; that I was sorry it might set us back in working on our own closeness, but that it was a consequence of her lie that she had to accept.

The acceptance didn't last long. Very quickly the narrative became that what she did was essentially my fault, and just a reaction to things she was unhappy about between us. She insisted we just "get over it" - glossing over the dishonesty - and go back to working on things as before. Unfortunately I haven't been able to do that, which has led to our relationship going rapidly downhill. I tell her that I'm finding it hard to work on things, when she continues downplaying lying to my face for the first time in our entire relationship. She focuses on what she did, rather than the dishonesty, and just treats her actions as part of our ongoing attempts to give each other the affection we need. Her implication is that I must not have been serious about Poly in the first place, or that my discomfort with her speaking to guys at that stage was unreasonable / oppressive.

Things are looking bad for us, and this unresolved issue is hindering all other attempts at healing in our relationship.

Am I the asshole?

Submitted July 25, 2020 at 10:59AM by ThinkingFarTooMuch via reddit https://ift.tt/3jDCvLa

#IFTTT #reddit

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aliceinwonderland2017centur-blog · 7 years ago

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Pat Handy /North Eastern Library

Disclaimer--- Um this is actually not a complaint. Im pretty sure me not being able to get into my account was done purposefully maliciously and illegally. No matter how white you are you still have to follow the law someone has mistakenly told you because you hold authority you can use a platform to conspire in criminal behavior. Please dont come after me with a gun. Another thing about white people I didnt care that you existed I didnt want to get into a war of brains with you I want to be another anonymous user but no you turned criminal got a negative reaction a verbal asswhooping that all 6 year old gets when they show their ass and yet you claim to be mad. Dont comphrend that when you misbehave an asswhooping follows. Sadly you are more than likely in business attire in fucking stray jacket white skin believing you are somehow entitled to act recklessly and there not be consequences. Its just not true. Im sorry no sir WAKE THE FUCK UP. Be a fucking business professional. You like a civilized proefessional annonymous world right. Imagine if I coudl track you down. and posion your food. Fuck with your phone youre internet done even know you. You do. You will not pick me out the fucking crowd and then say I need to watch my fucking MOUTH. Something something ---Yourself. iNAPPROPRIATE.

SO lets start with Pat Handy.

Pat Handy is a shelter for women. When I first arrived I wasn’t entirely impressed with their intake process due to the long wait. But Neither hear nor there. Its over and done I got in. A short while later it comes to my attention that Pat Handy has policies that are not productive to homeless women or women period. Productive to human beings. Their behavior is so the last thing everyone was thinking. No matter fact no one was thinking it. Ive threatened a suit numerous of times actually written out a complaint and it will be posted in this post. Ive actually gotten this line a few times from police as well. But there are probably atleast five policies or regulations that need fixing overnight. Like not putting them in place was equal to it was done purposefully. Im in a shelter for a reason. Im down on my luck. Im in a time of need. I find it perplexing that people went out their way to build a shelter but they didnt take the proper steps to have a functioning shelter. Its really not my jobs to be on twiitter and tumblr doing someone else's job to get things done. I don’t have the means the money or the time much like the SHELTER implies. Homeless. How you expect people who need help to one do your job but two get out of this TEMPORARY situation and Maintain where they lay their head without the help of the shelter is Crazy. I will admit I’m one of the luckier ones. I have money. Limited but I have money. Sadly Ive spent money just trying to maintain what I'm use to. What I would do if I were home. And protecting myself from outside things. Surprisingly enough it adds up to alot of money, which takes away from the money I need to leave. I’ve written numerous of emails to staff and the Managers of the building but they seem unphased by what I consider unsettling situations. At the very least very unaccommodating and uncompromising for sensitive situations. I did for the time being before recent events walk away from the suit for numerous of reasons. Among them a safety concern. People make you scratch your head when they go out of their way to cause problems. Sadly there are NUMEROUS OF unsettling things wrong with Pat Handy. But the one that has come to my attention as of recent I cant stomach. Over and Over again Pat Handy's staff has shoved their unchangeable uncompromising policy down our throats. The biggest one that has me scratching my head is that all residences have to leave the building at 7 am and return at 4 pm on weekdays and leave at 9 am on weekdays and return at 4 pm on weekends. Its a policy I have adjusted to out of sheer necessity but there are alot of bad mornings bad days. But Sunday is still a hard pill to swallow there is absolutely no where to go till 1 pm. Just recently I became sick. I was diagnosed with gastritis due to some bad food (MORE ON THIS LATER) Two staff members saw that I was sick vomiting and diaherrea. I then went to the hospital. After returning from the hospital on the 13th I asked one of the advocates on my floor if I could go lay down. I also showed her my ER paperwork. Suprisingly I was fought on bedrest and was told that I had to have some long DRAWN out thing stating HOW LONG the bedrest was suppose to be and for what reasons. Obviously I'm not feeling well so I didnt plan to be sick I don't know to ask the doctor for a book on my recovery process and quite frankly its an emergency room I saw the doctor for 10 15 minutes. Sick. PRESCRIPTION. Why are you going out of your way to fight me on bed rest? Firstly IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE TO ask for anything in the heat RETURNING from the hospital because im what? sick. That makes no sense. And to be quite honest its tacky Im actually sick but how tacky is it that a doctor needs to jump through hopes to convince a shelter something they should already be providing SHELTER. lmao. It really gets no better. The ER paperwork didn't go into detail about bedrest but it was stated that bedrest is suggested. Everything was vague and should have been taken with a grain of salt. No one person is the same. I actually have asked 4 times since my hospital visit for Bedrest. the last one being when Police were called on the 17th. I wont lie about the situation became exacerbated when I realized there were women staying in doors who are not sick while the rest of us sit outside in the heat looking like zoo animals. Unfortunate for the shelter these women are light and white its offensive and disrespectful. It really sends the wrong message. I am sick and I need to prove to them im sick before I can lay down and rest these women have nothing wrong with them and they are inside. I will post emails between me and the shelter. What's even more offensive the white woman Ive had problems with. It looks alot she was rewarded. I had no idea ANYONE was inside during the hours of 7 and 4. I was aware there are people on bedrest, people who are sick but I was under the impression the POLICY applied to everyone. They way it should be.

These women are still sitting up in the shelter as we speak. Are required to go no where in the heat. The shelter tells on themselves if you are suppose to be there you are not in the mirror putting make up on in your pajamas as a COVER five minutes before departure time. You are sick you are employed you don't need a cover right? Exactly Goodbye. A lie. White. Thinks things magically falls from the sky. W e are talking about Pat Handy so they are aware Im upset about light bright and spoiled milk sitting inside while we squats on fucking bricks and on cement for an hour and half pointless while business professionals walk by for the morning communute.

Let me put here We are treated like humans when hyporthermia alert comes on but for cold weatehr its I believe 32 and below and for hotweather I think its like 95 and above r something likethat. Watch PH top me. We missed it by a degree and we are outside on cycles. Fucking sad and ridiculous and they touting A FEMALES names

Moving on to Problem Child Number 2

Northeastern Library 7th street NE Washington, DC

Ive been going to that library for the past little while maybe a few weeks maybe a few months. Outside the no phone calls at the computer There were no issues. And even that was business related. I mind my business and im in and and out. Im looking for work. Don't know anyone beyond a familiar face. Around maybe a few days before the 11th of July maybe a week im not sure. Im noticing my computer is having suspicious activity that disrupts my work. obviously its very possible for technical issues to arise but three is too many times and noone else is having issues. I send a complaint via the website computer is messing up too many times and noone else is having problems. I literally have to closeout all programs three times. And I wont lie its not the best day but the library was none the wiser. Minding my business haven't said anything to anyone. I get an email following that incident days later. The woman who intercepted my message via the library's website tried to imply she didnt know what library I was referring to. This is possible but I personally find it unlikely. It was sent from a Library computer and I typed in Northeastern Library so I find it hard to believe she doesn't know what library Im referring to. AT that point it would appear like she is playing a game or attempting to cover for whomever. But she could have covered for whomever and just kept her mouth closed. She messy end of discussion. I respond with this message

Start Emails

Please excuse me for the tone of this email but quit frankly I wasn't expecting to have to hold the hand and do your job. I really didn't want to have to respond at all. Ive written two emails. Ive enclosed pictures to show you--whether or not someone incompetently put together a website or it;S DC policy TO hire stupid people and make it MY JOB TO figure our your JOB or YOU KNOW PRECISELY and this is another game I am hesitant to call and put a stop to. It came from A dc library computer. You have my card number. I really hate to jump to conclusions. But people make it hard these days to come in and do mind their business and leave. I don't have time for this. I'm here for a reason to conduct business my business that has nothing to do with you. I don't have time to write complaints. Ive enclosed pictures. Hopefully someone gets paid to CONNECT DOTS.

-----Original Message----- From: Ward, Deborah A. (DCPL) (DCPL) <[email protected]> To: --- Sent: Mon, Jul 3, 2017 10:00 am Subject: RE: [General Topic] Computer Freezing

Which library were you visiting on Friday, June 30?

Thanks

-----Original Message----- From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] Sent: Friday, June 30, 2017 2:52 PM To: Fayemi, Temitayo (DCPL); Ward, Deborah A. (DCPL) Subject: [General Topic] Computer Freezing

----sent a message using the contact form at https://www.dclibrary.org/contact.

So I've been on this computer for about maybe an hour to an hour half and its frozen maybe three times in the last twenty minutes. I did ask someone else if there computer is freezing and there's was not. I'm not sure if its a technical issue but Its off my computer is freezing three times in an hour.

End Emails

Surprising enough this happened the same day as the emails on the eleventh. I did not send the emails until after I returned on the 13th. The emails were going to be sent should another situation arise. One presented itself the same day whether they are responsible I still am not sure. The library is not cooperative which places doubt on them and due to their behavior following the incident and after I filed the police report I start leaning into asshwooping territory unfortunately.

Following the incident with the library the email pasted above sent to Ms. Ward on the 11th was the last email I sent before being sick by food poisoning the same day. I sometimes go to 7 eleven that next door But that day I stuck to my usual a croissant which is packaged. Later that day around the time im doing laundry I go to Walgreens (Nesquick) and 7 eleven (beefpattie) (one usual beef pattie is sporadic) . I'm doubled over sick by the end of the night. Ive talked to 7 eleven while nothings certain leaning towards Walgreens.

The library is boldy unapologetic and even if they had nothing to do with still very much up for debate You are A business you are being paid to be a business professional which I have not seen. Not only does the situation demand a response I requested a response. To your fifty cent credit thats how much its worth considering I was poisoned and You are a likely candiate. Im mean. ANd disrespectful AND IM NOT apologetic. Look AT HOW YOU behave. They all need new lives that's how bad those emails were. LMAO it makes me feel better. Nose in the air. And im still taller then you I dont see anything. You are being paid. These are rules and policy you have to follow. So sorry about it. Sucks for you.

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datingadviceonreddit · 8 years ago

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Dating advice will never have an absolute answer that is right or wrong. When you are asking for advice here, sometimes you might not get the answer that doesnt fit your situation. This kind of knowledge is mostly only gained through experience, and unless the person has hit on 100000+ girls/guys, the experiences most of the time wont be enough to solve most situations. Read your replies and look for ones that has had been in similar situations. Ask how they handled it and what was the outcome. Adjust the knowledge you were given then come up with a couple plans.Planning is very important. Applies to everything literally. Going head in without a plan is never good, especially if you are a shy person that gets nervous.(I hit on girls regularly, on internet and in real life, anywhere I possibly can. Now I do it just for fun since I have a girlfriend. I do show her all my messages.) Btw I am short 5'6, Asian, below average bod. Face is decent. I am however, somehow quite confident, and people think I am fun to be around.My personal tips for generic use :Learn to imagine all possible scenarios from the best to the worst, and be ready to react to each of them. Don't let them catch you by surprise. Imagine all scenarios that have a chance of happening and think how you can react to it. Think of it as preparing some "just in case lyrics" for a freestyle rap battle. Good way to do this is just imagine conversations as you showering, act like you actually are talking to the person. (No one will ever see if you lock the door.) Also helps with your confidence if you practiced.Research the person. I can't stress this more. There is nothing creepy about doing this. We live in the age of the internet, and people are willingly posting their crap all over the internet, so check it out. You might find out she/he likes the same band or anime or movies. You can bring them up naturally. Then you can ask questions like : "Do you watch anime?" without fearing that she doesn't and is gonna judge you. Win win. Learn to use the things you find, and NEVER go overboard. Dont say :"I saw your photos the other day..." if you aren't even friends on fb yet. She/he doesnt need to know your researched.Think like a human, put yourself in their shoes. Girls/guys are not aliens. Most of the time we react similarly to similar things. A message on the internet to most of us today is almost NEVER a big deal. The biggest loss you can face is no reply. I've talked to girls that came to my high school the year after I already graduated, and everyone of them were nice and kind. (One was more than nice and kind.)If you want to talk to girls on internet, TREAT YOUR INTERNET PROFILE THE WAY YOU'D WANT TO BE SEEN. Don't want to creep people out? Don't post creepy selfies and weird emotional quotes. Keep it clean and fun goes a long way."Be yourself" is an advice you will hear over and over. I'd say, please evaluate yourself before you "be yourself". Don't "be yourself" if it means dressing like a hobo and curse in every sentence. "Become better" is what I'd suggest we all do. Unless if you think you are already super great, then sure be yourself, if not, we can always be better. Work a littler harder, dress a bit nicer, learn some kind gestures, find new hobbies, these things can only benefit you in the long run so why the fuck not do it. If the guy/girl can become your motivation to do so, go for it.Lastly, prepare prepare prepare. Did I mention this earlier?Especially if you are shy not naturally out going, prepare. Going to a french restaurant? Learn the dish names, come on, you'd look cool as fuck anyways. Prepare things to talk about, prepare places to go, prepare escape plan, prepare condoms, prepare pepper spray, prepare prepare prepare.Prepare some fun questions to ask if convo is running dry (google it up theres a shit ton), prepare some slightly sexual questions if things are going well. Remember, if YOU make it fun, the other person could only be having a piece of your fun as well.Bonus tip : 1. Imaginary situations are great to bring up. "Imagine if you won $100000 what would you do?" You learn about the person as well from their answers. Google them "what if" questions. Some are great.Bets. Make simple tiny bets. Bets are FUN! Need cash but don't have cash, freaking out? Make a bet with her/him see who can find the atm first, loser pays for drinks."I bet you that guy in red is gonna sit down at that bench." If he does, you look super cool yet again, if not you lose a bet, and shed/hed happy anyways. This betting thing never gets old. I personally love it, makes boring dates fun. Point of the bet tho is to be fun, so dont make bets that will upset the opponent.Anyways if you read all this thanks for reading. Just my 2 cents I thought id share. I wish I had other more useful real knowledge, but I chose to spend my high school and college days focusing on girls hahaha.P.S. I am thinking about starting some online dating help thingy, please let me know if my personal suggestions were helpful!Tl;dr : Just some tips. I like to help people get laid. Feels good. via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

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survivorarabia · 8 years ago

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EPISODE 7 “Rocks for Roxy” Aren

Ci’ere

“Last tribal was soo wild and I didn’t even participate in it… The results had me shook though. I’m ecstatic that Jay, the only original Fawz member on that tribe, used his idol and survived because he’s someone that I trust and I would like to keep him close. Alex ended up going home and that was delicious news to receive because I definitely get mastermind vibes from him plus he was a Khiana. An idol was flushed out that ultimately protected Jay and forced Lena to vote out her own ally or herself. Issy proved that she really is on my side and I want to work with her moving forward.”

Aren

Well, SHIT. Jay (my cute lil overplaying BOT) just spilled some major tea or 'intel' in this new alliance chat. So, this little fucker was recruited into this alliance which was mainly consisting of OG Khiana members, so Jay, just as his daddy taught him, started playing along for information from this alliance. Richie, Nicole & Lena are the co-ring-leaders of this alliance, and the little fuckers wanna vote-off everybody in our alliance other than Jay & Roxy. LITTLE BITCHES???? WANNA PICK A FIGHT WITH THE AREN MEISTER, EH? MEET ME IN THE PIT AND THROW FISTICUFFS WITH ME, YOU LITTLE PUSSY. Jay speculates that now that the merge is here they'll kick him out of the alliance and recruit Alex & Ruthie instead, but are we gonna let that happen? NUH-UHHHHHHH! As long as we get Emmott on our side, we can make this a 7-5 vote and I can still flush Alex, the turd, down the toilet! Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Ci’ere

“WE OFFICIALLY MERGED! This is every survivor’s goal because no one wants to date somebody that doesn’t make the merge. :> We have a takeover and it turns out that someone is coming back with Pandora’s Box. I immediately guess Alex because out of all the eliminated contestants he knew what he was doing and he’s smart.”

“S h o c k e r, Alex returned and he’s acting super arrogant after being out of the game for about 5 minutes. -.- Issy tells me she’s highkey upset that he’s back, so maybe we can plot to send Alex right back out kind of like a revolving door! Apparently, he’s shocked Issy voted against him when he voted against her twice and almost got her voted out the second time. I reassure her that we’re on the same side and that I have her back.”

Richie

well arabia has been fun thanks so much for hosting but my time here is done now !!!!!!!!!!! http://68.media.tumblr.com/38817c3e9059c7603d59e2cd59b17f7b/tumblr_oelryngZFq1vzwwmeo8_250.gif this is a letter to nicole: Nicole, we go way back, like super long time to a couple months ago, youre a cool girl and i like you so im sorry that i even tried to lie to you by saying it was a typo... i know youre not dumb and i dont want you to think i was insulting your intelligence by suggesting that you would even believe me when i tried to tell you that me saying "i want that idol in my pocket before nicole can get it" was a spelling mistake, i wanted to just own up and be like yeah okay bye but i figured i should at least try to play it off... and your "i saw that"???? ripped my scalp off iconic... but yeah that was a message suppose to go to alex because he had just told me he had found an idol so i went to him with the clue that you just gave me to try and get his help to figure it out because im GREEEEEDDAYYYYYY ohhh you know that im greedy for love but yeah... sorry bout that Love, Richie http://68.media.tumblr.com/80148f3ba599fe2ce93d4324978b2a20/tumblr_of3ougvqUC1vzwwmeo3_250.gif anyway im pretty much dead lmao i cant believe i accidentally sent a message talking about nicole, using her name directly, to nicole herself... like how fucking DUMBBBBB am i!??!?!? and nicole is someone i genuinely trust too she just told me about a fricken idol clue why tf would i want to betray her right now??? bc im paranoid about her using our kauai past against me down the road?? probably!!! but still..... i'm a fucking IDIOT!!! in a minority alliance of 4 (with someone who was just voted out bc no one trusted him) on a tribe of 12 and i just fucked up the one relationship i have with someone outside of that 4 group.... like.. who do i think i am to fuck up my game this bad????

Nicole

GUESS WHOSE BACK BITCHES!!!! I have been feeling so down in this game, these Roblox kids got me SHOOK okay. I literally thought the only person I could trust was Richie, but now today he sent me some rude ass message about me that I think he meant to send to Alex, and I GAVE HIM THE IDOL CLUE. So, of course I was kind of annoyed. I knew I had to get the idol before him to ensure my safety. I FOUND IT because I read it over and decided to Google it since it was in quotes! Duh Brian said the idol clue!! I'm a flop, but I HAVE AN IDOL! Now I just have to decide whether I'm going to use it or not. My issue with Survivor is I am SO impulsive, I would hate to go out with an idol in my pocket so I rather use it like an idiot and then be able to find a new one, than go home. I am trying to see if I'm going to get any votes.

Ci’ere

“I know how to get into people’s heads by pulling on their heart strings a little and controlling their emotions. :> I want people to feel like they can lean on me for anything, trust me with everything and ultimately strengthen my bond with them. I think I’ve been achieving this specifically with Emmott. If he feels like he’s being treated like an outcast, I definitely want him to stick up for himself and I will always be there to talk to him especially if no one else will. Note: If an opportunity falls in my lap, I’ll be the first take it especially if others don’t see any use for it.”

Issy

Shit is going down with this vote and I don't know which side I want to be on here There's Jay, Roxy, Aren, CI'ere, & Kat all (claiming) they want to vote for Alex Then there's Richie, Lena, Nicole, Alex & Ruthie voting for god knows who (Ruthie mentioned Roxy? Idk) And then there's Emmott who's totally reasonably pissed at the OG Fawz alliance because he's not in it, but Ruthie and Alex are trying to take advantage of this and it pisses me off that he's even considering flipping on Fawz because we need Alex gone NOW I want to work with Emmott, he's super nice, he's just unpredictable as FUCK and he keeps wanting to make big moves which I totally understand but this is not how you fucking win this game & I don't know what to do with him tbh Jay is a super huge threat and a sneaky bastard and I don't like how many alliances he's made (me/Emmott, OG Fawz, Ci'ere/Aren, fuck knows what else) & I'm not happy that Emmott is being excluded from the OG Fawz chat because not only is it a shitty game move to make him want to flip because he feels like he's on the bottom, but I don't like how sneaky Jay & Roxy & etc. have been about all these alliances

Ci’ere

“Okay so now I’m going to do a brief merged tribe assessment! I will basically be expanding on the people that I already know or introducing players that I’ve just recently met or have gotten more info on along the way!

Alex: I’m not really happy that he’s back to be honest. He’s smart, he’s dictating the other side, and he does well in challenges. Alex will probably be a target for the rest of the game until he’s voted out or until he wins.

Aren: I still feel the same way about him since my previous assessment, but the fact that he questioned my loyalty kind of set off red flags in my mind. I think he just needs to chill out.

Emmott: He’s very positive and fun, definitely the life of the party. I mean, we did swap and he ended up voting out Blossom so I’m just very confused about that whole situation. We established that we’re gonna stay loyal to each other and I hope Emmott is being genuine about this. He seems concerned on a game level and it was actually quite relieving to know that he’s stressed and paranoid just as much as I am.

Issy: I was kind of iffy on Issy, but I think Shay really did mess up. She doesn’t have a problem with me and I’m not gonna let that affect my relationship with her. Issy proved that we were on the same side by voting out Alex. I definitely want to take her under my wing and I hope she flies through the rest of this game by my side.

Jay: I’m starting to see winner potential in this guy and he’s slowly becoming more threatening. He beautifully played an idol last tribal which would confirm Alex’s elimination. Then he puts together an alliance and starts taking initiative. I trust him and all, but I think Jay needs to be voted out a little before the end if you know what I mean.

Kat: Highkey irrelevant but we’re in an alliance apparently so I have to kind of work with her for now. If this alliance happens to be successful, I’m voting her out because I don’t want any goats at the end.

Lena: We were on good terms when Khiana 2.0 ended, but I feel like she was just doing whatever it took to make sure she was safe. Lena made a mistake of trying to save Alex, so she can go.

Nicole: I really like Nicole and I think I want to take her all the way to the end. She is the physical player, I am the social player, and we balance each other out in terms of strategy. She wasn’t included in this new Fawz alliance and I feel like telling her about it, but I think there might be a reason she wasn’t added.

Richie: Cool dude that I could see myself working well with and going far together, but if tribal lines continue then it probably won’t happen. :[

Roxy: I absolutely love this girl and I know she’ll be loyal to me. Roxy has truly had to survive to stay in this game and she kicked butt to get to the merge. I’m extremely proud of her! She’s still hyper af tho. xD

Ruthie: She had a very sweet and enjoyable presence while we were together on Fawz 3.0, so I hope we can work together here as well!

As for me, I’ve been in a great position this entire game. I’ve been carrying out moves behind the scenes and playing stealthily. I have pushed myself in each immunity challenge to help my tribe win. I’ve made social bonds with everyone and I don’t believe I’m anyone’s priority target. I have been able to get people to trust me and just relate to them. I think I also managed to get in the majority of this merged tribe and I’m ready to start taking people out. I was able to blindside someone and get everyone to flip in unanimous vote. I just need to strategically get myself to the end and start making big moves.”

Emmott

WOAH THIS IS A LOT SO BAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA i get this message from jay the other day "wanna be a part of an OG fawz majority" i didn't reply i just ignored it couldnt give a fuck i look a little later to reply and he fucken deletes the message right. anyway, i seen this message.... so i say "oh btw, would love to do that alliance" then he was like "Oh dw, it fell through! No one is really wanting it" lol ok I get a message from my MAIN GURL BOO THANG #1 ISSY <3 <3 that there is an OG FAWZ ALLIANCE CHAT THAT I AINT IN AHAHAHAHAHAH ROXY'S FUCKING IMPACT omg im in love with these people there so fucking stupid im obsessed. dumb people actually bring me so much joy omg i hate them all so much. not even like as a group, as individuals they're all dried up grapes and so sad omg so issy's like telling me its okay we'll just go along with it. but i feel thats easier for her to say. 1) shes in the alliance 2) roxy doesn't hate her 3) people actually pm her juicy goss ^^^^ i dont have any of these things so the alarm bells are really going off for me right now, and i kinda wanna flip to the khiana people. i like alex and ruthie more anyway!!! fawz people (minus issy, aren and something ci'ere) makes me feel depressed and bring down my IQ being around them idk what the fuck is going on! all i know is im not in that alliance and that's there own stupid faults! THEY REPLACED ME WITH KAT KAT!!!! my boyf has been more active in this game and all his done is laugh at me when i told him "Some psycho woman (roxy) is yelling at me over the internet" on the topic of julia/roxy/crazy do you know how hard it is to talk to her! omg i talk to her so much and i know we're both bullshitting each other but i have to pretend like shes my favourite person in the world and oh my god, its like hurting my soul genuinely aw well remember shay...... ALSO IDK IF I'VE SAID THIS YET ROXY NEVER SPELLS MY NAME RIGHT - emot - emott - emmotte - emitte - emmot LIKE HOW CAN HARD IS MY CATFISH! i can't wait to tell her my name is actually nick she is gonna freak the fuck out omg

Ci’ere

“Jay poured some piping hot tea on the OG Fawz alliance and now I’m glad I didn’t give Nicole any information. On Khiana 2.0, Richie and Lena linked up and formed a group that also included Jay and Nicole. They wanted to get out everyone in the alliance that Zak had made and exposed. The Fawz alliance needs Emmott on board with us so that we have majority. We currently have 6 votes which is enough to tie, but with Emmott we would have 7. I’m not really sure why he wasn’t included in Jay’s new alliance, but I’m guessing it was for voting Shay out.”

Lena

i literally dont remember anything that happened last night so like... who knows. anyway jay won immunity and i found out via ruthie herself that she is the target????? jay won't give me a name even though i know he's on the majority alliance which is totally BS because he told richie and i when we were on post-swap khiana that he was on the bottom of his alliance which we just found out (and knew previously tbh) was a lie. anyway so like... apparently we have emmott and issy on our side now? that will bring our numbers to 6, and their numbers are also 6

Alex

youtube

Aren has agreed to be the seventh vote, and has formed an alliance with Ruthie and I. So, theoretically, if Issy and Emmott are with us, we should have seven against Roxy. Theoretically.

I give it even odds at BEST. I'm gonna tell Ruthie about the Idol, and because her neck is the one on the block, see what she wants to do, play it tonight versus keep it for the future. I'll let her make the call either way, because I don't think I'm the one getting votes tonight.

Ruthie

TODAY HAS BEEN SO HILARIOUS, I have so much news and I really hope I pull off staying and I hope Alex, Lena, Richie and Nicole stay safe too. <3 SO I've definitely heard my name- that they are going to split a vote between Alex and I in case one of us has the idol, but then... GOOD NEWS. Nicole spilled that she has the idol and will use it on me if she thinks I'm in danger and that just makes me feel SO good! I really hope Julia goes because I want 'The Family' and Nicole super safe tonight. I also have Aren and Emmott's votes... I hope. Also Aren, Alex and I started an alliance together so that was new and exciting, it's nice to have backup, whew! Anyway, all this has been going on while I was at work and now I'm back home and on the computer and I'm happily trying to use my social game to my advantage. Let me just add that Julia is HILARIOUS under pressure, she has me dying, I can't even bahaha. And the thing is I REALLY LIKE HER! Alex and I would have stayed aligned with her but she's just all over the place, I can't.

Ci’ere

“I have been pushing on Alex to get voted out ever since he came back and right now we have 7 votes for him. I tell my alliance that we should tell the other side that we’re voting out Ruthie because Ruthie, Richie and Nicole have all came to me trying to figure out who my side wants out. On the other hand, I’m reassuring Ruthie that she’s gonna stay which is actually the truth lol. It’s pretty messy right now.”

Aren

FUCK YOU EMMOTT, YOU LITTLE FUCKING FLIPPING WEEDWACK. SO, since he flipped to the Richie/Ruthie/Alex/Lena/Nicole like a fucking dumbass and since he's incredibly paranoid and thinks Roxy's gunning for him and voted him this time for WHATEVER reason, it's gonna be a 6-6 tie on Roxy and Alex??? And all I have to say, is... FOR THOSE ABOUT TO PURPLE-ROCK, I SALUTEEE YOUUU!!!! (Can we get an episode-title on that one? No? Wow, fuck you guys.)

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED WE'RE GOING TO ROCKS FOR ROXY WELP, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE DRAWING ROX TONIGHT! FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROX, I SALUTE YOU!

Richie

JULIA IS THE.MOST.ICONIC!!! PLAYER OF ALLL TIIIIIIME!!!!! EVERYTHING SHE SAYS IS AMAZING SHES SUCH A GLORIOUS MESS I LOVE IT SO MUCH THIS WHOLE DAY LEADING UP TO THE MERGE VOTE HAS BEEN SUCH A CLUSTERFUCK OF A MESSS AND I LOVE ITTTTTT!!!! my name hasnt been brought up once (at least to my knowledge but watch me get blindsided lmao) so i've just been talking to everyoneeeeee getting all the tea and taking notes and being a passive participant in all the mess watching like http://68.media.tumblr.com/05e3f3a1cccbad0a8494dbb4cede9e5d/tumblr_of3p41DFQy1vzwwmeo5_250.gif i really dont want to vote out julia just because shes so entertaining im going to be so bored without her messiness and unique juliaism... or roxyisms the girl is so messy she cant even decide on one name for herself I LOVE HERRRRR.... but at the end of the day im not an audience member so voting her out is what i have to do as a player RIP :( i cant even begin to describe the full mess of what went down because i spent the last 2 hours in a mix of confusion and awe but hopefully after this vote i'll be able to process it all and just soak it all in bc whew iconic... P.S. fuck all yall in the viewing lounge for not picking my merge tribe name i cant wait to vote you out in all stars

Aren

https://i.gyazo.com/1be8248e4edff1d7ed768134ec2db491.png https://i.gyazo.com/e19c0acb752ac521d8aecdbf1643cd27.png https://i.gyazo.com/f5940ddc231a3f713a48a98f16d26198.png https://i.gyazo.com/465a114fe61239ed6fb2338a7a8fd2f8.png https://i.gyazo.com/83f620477610f6c6d5236273d8db38eb.png https://i.gyazo.com/df05067f6e3b5d593654c9ea08236bb9.png I HAVE A FEELING THAT HE'S JUST HAVING A YANK AT MY COCK BUT HOLY FUCK IF I LEGIT JUST FLIPPED HIM BACK TO ALEX I WILL BE SO FUCKING HAPPY OH MY GOD AREN YOU ARE A FUCKING SURVIVOR COGNOSCENTI GENIUS BOW DOWN FUCKERS

Well, FUCKING SHIT. That just happened. Roxy, one of my closest allies and best friends, is now out of the game. I should have her Jury vote if I do make the end though, as she's constantly like 'oh good luck aren' 'oh aren youre great' 'oh i love you aren' and I mean -- she 'aint wrong, I'm pretty fucking brill. Meanwhile, I did actually manage to flip Emmott back, which is always nice. Next vote, Alex should be leaving. I clearly had to play double-agent this round between my alliance and the other alliance, and I had to persuade the opposing side that Ruthie was getting the votes, just so if they were in possession of an idol, it'd go on her. And, hey -- it did work! Nicole played an idol on Ruthie, under the guise that she'd be leaving. HOWEVER, Alex unfortunately had an idol too, and he used it on himself, thus fucking up our plans. Unfortunately for me, I played double-agent at the expense of any shot of receiving the respect of our rival alliance. Apparently they hate me now, and I can't blame 'em! I fucked them over, and honestly, it's just because I'm that fucking good at lying. Alex just told me that I'm the NatT of this season, and he should honestly just go and fuck off. I'm fucking INCREDIBLE at this game, you little shit! Who's the one that's already been voted-off? Suck my LOLLIPOP, BRUH.

#survivornightmare #masstag #confessionals

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