#literally said out loud to her “does that mean i get an a in therapy” which i assume we'll discuss at a later date lmao

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

not to brag, but my therapist told me today that i did incredible during our emdr session, which means i get an A for the day in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve 🙂‍↕️😌

[the-s1lly-corner]

WOoOoOoO SPOOKY SEASON REQUIRES SPOOKY STUFF

Anyways

I would love to request an Child ghost!reader and the gang, basically child reader got murdered when they were using the VR and their soul got stuck into the game.

Their soul being so GORY AND DISTORTED, like an arm is missing, one eye is like hanging out and their head has an hole. Reader can get invisible like a ghost and move things with only their mind, and they are very quiet and just observes, rarely get mad or anything, but when they snap (for example: Because of jax's pranks) they start throwing things around dim the lights and scream, and lets put like, Reader's screams are like LOUD as hell, basically like an ghost tantrum.

So basically Child reader is just an sad messed up lil goof who needs comfort and therapy.

Sorry if its long, i love love love your blog btw!

-🌹

TADC cast x ghost!child!reader (platonic + light found family) !

going to take a different approach to writing this one, since i feel bad about being selective of cast/multi characters today, so! rather than having divided segments like usual, its going to be a group thing! hope thats alright! going to be the last request of this batch them imma make something to eat rq for dinner then get back to writing YAHOO!

when you joined the digital circus, you were already very obviously different from the rest of the gang. even if your gore was toned down thanks to your body being digitized; the programming seemed to struggle with altering your body into something unique... strange... it also seems your body is fighting back against the programming of the world, seemingly trying to restore itself. The effect makes you almost look like you're glitching, or even abstracting

Caine doesnt immediately pick up on your presence, i feel like its in his programming to be aware when a new member joins the circus, but for some reason he didnt notice you until he saw you, or someone brings you up to him

It was Ragatha, who was trying to get answers from him. Who's kid was this? Is it really fair to let a kid be stuck here? Obviously she knew Caine couldnt do anything about it now that you were here, nor did he have any hand in you putting on the headset.

Except... you correct them and say you didn't put on any headset, you were trapped in it.

Of course you're trapped, just like the rest of us, Jax says

None of them immediately believe you try to tell them you're a ghost. Except of course, Kinger, who reasons that that's why you look the way you do; and Gangle, who in my opinion probably finds interest in the supernatural.. or maybe that's just me projecting onto her. Who knows. But the point still stands, almost everyone doesn't believe you.

Not long after, Jax accidentally ropes you into prank that was originally intended for Zooble, I dont think Jax would go as far as to bully a child.... well... actually no, he seems like the type to bully kids on roblox.

The prank wasnt planned for you, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. You open a door, and are immediately greeted with a fake snake lunging out at you. You scream, more so out of surprise and fear than anger. It does turn into anger when Jax laughs at you, still finding some kind of joy from the prank getting at least someone. Your scream rises, causing nearly everyone to cover their ears, the rest were not there in the room but would come rushing to see what the hell was going on

I think it would be that instance as well as a few other; namely ones where you became invisible and started removing one of Zooble's limbs after they (unintentionally) said something a little too mean to you. The idea of you being a ghost was further cemented when both Gangle and Ragatha watched you literally phase through a wall. But hey at least someone (Jax) starts laying off of you when it becomes clear you weren't lying

There's mixed feelings, a lot negative. I mean, you're just a kid and you're. Well, a ghost. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to come to the conclusion that something happened to you. Whether or not you remember the details of your death when you became a ghost, or after joining the digital world, is all up to you

Caine, as mentioned before in posts where the reader is a child, tries to be a father figure. He's not the best, since he's programmed to be a ring master, but he definitely tries his best. I like to think he tries to read you bedtime stories when the digital world simulates 'night'

Pomni, who I totally didn't forget, tries to overcome her fear of you and your ghostly powers, ultimately becoming sympathetic you and your situation. Not only was your life cut short, but you were trapped here too, you didn't even get to roam the world in the afterlife. Interactions with her are awkward but there's an effort to try to bring you some form of comfort

Jax, after he stops pulling jokes on you cant deny that he doesnt find you creepy. I think, though, he would ask you if you want to help him scare some of the other members. Whether you be offended by the concept or not is also up to you, since I'm not sure if you wanted the reader to be sensitive regarding their current predicament or not

Ragatha goes into full big sister mode, even before it's confirmed that you're a ghost. Sure, she's a little put off by your ganky and gorey looks, but her heart aches for you. Similar to Caine she tries to do general child care activities with you, perhaps if you let her, she would do your hair and make you dresses

Kinger will take a while to warm up to you, but I think after some time would start to open up to you, usually it's best to interact with him when he's already in a calmer state. He already gives me dad vibes that I cant pin down... but he would tell you stories of his past (in house) adventures and some funny stuff that has happened over his time in the digital world

Zooble is going to need a moment to get over the invisible dismemberment thing... as well as Zooble being Zooble and needing some time to warm up to people in general... Not much to be said, yet...

Gangle would offer to lend you some art supplies... kids like arts and crafts stuff, right? Thats her logic, at least, and if it means you have an outlet for your emotions then that would be great!

Overall you now have a funky found family, so hey, at least things aren't totally... terrible.. Unfortunately with them stuck in the digital world they can't do much to get you justice, if you let them know you were murdered. But rest assured if your killer somehow gets trapped in there with them and you recognize them, they have your back

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Zhihn moya -Oneshot

**I’m pulling some inspiration from a previous short story/long oneshot I wrote before.  Hope you like it!** *zhihn moya: my life Word count: 4471

Y/N first met Bucky after he’d returned to the States to join the Avengers.  He’d been rehabilitated in Wakanda, officially freed from the Winter Soldier programming.  The trigger words no longer worked.  Overall he was fine, but sometimes he wasn’t.

The nightmares never ceased, they were just…quieter now.  And sometimes he would lose track of where he was, who he was with, and have bouts of memory lapses, like he was on autopilot.  It didn’t really affect his work with the Avengers, but after a mission where he’d gone too far in capturing a bad guy, almost killing him, Sam knew he needed more help than the government-assigned therapist with a bad attitude could give.

With Fury’s help they had found a woman who had been found during an old Hydra base raid.  Y/N Y/L/N was born with the ability to read and manipulate thoughts and feelings in others, had been found by Hydra and then experimented on to see how far they could push or use her abilities.  The experiments had made her abilities stronger, and once she was found she had been rehabilitated and gone through years of therapy.  Fury figured that with a shared past with Hydra, she would be helpful in not only understanding and relating to Bucky, but her abilities could help ground him back to reality.

Bucky was hesitant when he first met her.  “I don’t need another person in my head,” he said gruffly.

“She won’t be in your head, Barnes, just helping you snap out of these lapses you’ve been having,” Fury said.  

“That’s not the point,” Bucky sighed.  He looked at Y/N.  “I’m sure you’re great.  But nobody needs to see what’s going on in my mind.”

“She was taken by Hydra, too, Buck,” Sam interjected.  “She knows what it’s like to be–”

“I can speak for myself,” Y/N said loudly.  They all looked at her in surprise.  “If you don’t want my help then I’ll leave.  I won’t waste my time fighting someone who doesn’t want or think they need me.”

“No, wait, please,” Sam said, raising his hands and then turning to Bucky.  “Can you just try meeting with her once?  For my peace of mind?  Please?”

Bucky stared at Sam for a moment, then sighed heavily and closed his eyes.  “Fine,” he said, then looked at her sharply.  “You won’t like what you see.”

“I’ve seen a lot, Sergeant Barnes,” Y/N said, her chin rising in challenge at him.  “You won’t surprise me.”

Bucky huffed a bitter laugh at her.  “You say that now.”

A week later they were in the room she was given to stay at the compound.  Y/N was sitting criss-cross on a large, comfortable chair across from Bucky who sat on a long couch.  He looked her over, analyzing and scrutinizing.  She was pretty, her curvy body reminding him of the old pin-ups that were actually curvy from his army days, not the ones the other men usually liked, even while she was covered by a comfortable sweater and sweatpant outfit.  They stared at each other for a moment, silently daring one another to speak first.  She analyzed him back, her head tilting as she watched him.  “You’re feeling a lot of things right now,” she said quietly.

“Get out of my head,” Bucky snarled.

“I’m not in your head,” Y/N sneered back.  “Feelings are just loud.”

He frowned.  “What does that mean?”

Y/N settled back into her chair, leaning her head on her hand propped up on the arm rest.  “Reading minds takes effort and focus for me.  Always has, even after Hydra experimented on me.  But feelings, emotions, they’re like…” She paused, frowning as her eyes searched the room in thought.  “Vibes, literally vibrating off people’s bodies.”

“Okay, then what am I feeling?” Bucky asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

“Anxiety,” Y/N replied easily.  “Worry.  Fear.  Curiosity.  Sadness.  Anger.  And…missing someone,” she said, her face softening.

Bucky’s lips tightened.  “They said you could manipulate emotions, too.”  She nodded.  “Why would you do that?” he asked.  “How would that help me?”

Y/N smirked.  “It would be easier for me to show you than tell you.”

Bucky immediately tensed.  “What are you going to do?”

Y/N sighed.  “Relax, Bucky, it’s nothing crazy or painful.  All I need to do is touch you.  Do I have your permission to touch you?”

Bucky scrutinized her, watching her face carefully for signs of trickery or lies.  “Touch me where?”  

“Preferably your chest, just over your heart,” Y/N said, uncrossing her legs and leaning forward in her chair.  “But anywhere works.”

Bucky’s anxiety spiked.  He was much more open to touching people now, but was hesitant over what she was capable of.  He nodded and she stood up, walking over to him, then surprised him by kneeling down in front of him between his legs.  His eyes widened at how close she was, his jaw ticking as he swallowed harshly, trying to keep his panic at bay.  “Relax, Bucky,” Y/N said, her voice sounding much more soft and caring than earlier.  “I won’t read your mind.  All I’m going to do is put my hand on your chest.  You don’t need to do anything but relax.  Okay?”

Bucky tried to steady his breathing, nodding as his hands clenched on top of his knees.  Y/N gave him a reassuring smile, then slowly lifted her left hand toward his chest.  He watched her, his eyes flicking from her face to her hand repeatedly.  When her palm settled over his heart he tensed again.  “I won’t hurt you,” Y/N whispered.  His eyes focused back on her face.  Her eyes were kind, soft, and she was looking at him like she could see right through him, being able to read him without even trying.  Sam and Fury had said she had been used by Hydra, just like him, that she understood.  He blinked rapidly and nodded again.

Her hand pressed into his chest a little more firmly, and after a moment of silence Bucky felt a strange sensation.  He looked down and saw her palm glowing, and he gasped as he felt a warmth spread where her hand laid on his chest.  It felt like honey, oozing through his skin slowly and then seeping into his veins, firing synapses along its path.  It enveloped him, almost tingling when it reached the top of his head.  Bucky sighed heavily, his head hanging down, his hands unclenching.  The worry, fear, anger, all the things she had said he was feeling all slipped away from his mind and his heart, the anxiety being replaced by the warmth.  It felt like…peace.  Calm.  It felt like the first time he’d been able to relax after overcoming the Winter Soldier programming.  Like the times he and Steve had been laughing at baseball games.  It felt like she was injecting him with the opposite of all the emotions he felt before.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, but after a little while the feeling began to recede just as slowly as it had come.  When the warmth returned to under her palm and the glow fizzled out it was like he woke up, his eyes snapping open and seeing her again.  Y/N was crying, and it took him a second to realize he was crying, too.  He also didn’t realize that his metal hand was holding her hand to his chest still.  “I’m so sorry for all that they put you through,” she whispered, her hand turning over in his metal one and holding it against his chest.  “So much pain.  You didn’t deserve that.  But I need you to hear me when I say this, okay?”  Bucky absentmindedly nodded as she stood up on her knees to be at eye level with him.  “No human being could have withstood all you have,” she said quietly, her free hand moving up and wiping away his tears.  “You are stronger than you know, Bucky, in mind, body and spirit.  I can feel it,” she tapped her fingers against his chest.  “Your mind will be in a state of healing for the rest of your life.  But your friends, your chosen family, will always be there to pick up where your mind leaves off.  And I…I will be there for you, if you let me.”

Bucky stared at her in amazement.  He sniffed and swallowed harshly, nodding at her hopefully.  Maybe she would be able to help pull him out of his head when he got lost on missions.  She smiled at him, and he had a feeling that she would very quickly become his favorite person.

***

“Miss Y/L/N, an urgent call incoming for you from Sam Wilson,” Friday’s voice chimed overhead.

Y/N frowned and looked up at the ceiling.  “Answer,” she instructed, and listened as the phone line opened up to frantic breathing.  “Sam?” she called out.

“Y/N!  Thank god,” Sam panted.  “Something’s wrong with Buck.”

Her eyes widened.  “What happened?”

“I don’t know!” he said, sounding like he was exhausted.  “We were almost done and then he just…shut down.  He looks like,” he paused, and she could hear him audibly gulp.  “He looks like the Winter Soldier.”

She gasped.  “Has he done anything?”

“No, he’s just standing there, with that staring problem,” he said.  “So far he’s done as we asked, but if anyone gets close to him he reacts defensively.  Forcefully pushing us away.  It’s like he’s waiting for something.”

“Are you almost here?” Y/N asked, getting up and pacing her room as she thought through a plan of action.

“10 minutes away,” he replied.

“Okay.  When you land, let him get off first, and follow him to see where he goes.  Then we can figure out what to do next based on what it is his subconscious mind is directing him to do,” she said firmly.

“Okay,” Sam said, sounding appreciative that at least somebody had an idea of what to do.  “We’ll see you soon.”

“Good luck,” Y/N said.  She tried to calm herself.  Panicking would do nothing to help fix the situation.  They had come a long way over the past year since she’d come to the compound to help Bucky with his mind issues.  But every once in a while there was a hiccup like today.  They would all have to tread carefully to find the best way to help him through this episode.  He would be kicked off missions again for a while, she thought, which he would love and hate at the same time.

Ten minutes later she got a text from Sam.

Just landed.  He’s on the move.

She waited, sending him a thumbs up emoji.  

Heading to the personal rooms.

She tried to even her breathing.

Passed his door, I think we’re coming to you?

Y/N frowned at the text, then a few seconds later heard a knock on her door.  She looked at her door in shock, slowly walking over and unlocking it.  She opened the door and peeked around it to find Bucky standing there, ramrod straight with a frown on his face.  But his expression didn’t meet his eyes.  They looked empty, devoid of emotion.  This wasn’t Bucky.

“Bucky?” she whispered.

He didn’t respond.  “We’ve had to use the word ‘Soldat’ to get him to respond,” Sam said quietly behind him, looking ashamed at even having to say it.

She nodded and looked up at him.  “Soldat?” she asked.  His eyes looked down at her, the only part of him that was moving other than his chest as he breathed.  “Mission complete,” she said, unsure of how to proceed.  

He still didn’t move, just watched her intently, before his lips parted.  “Zhihn moya,” he murmured with a slight nod. Joaquin took a step forward.  “Maybe if we get a Russian speaker–”

Bucky whipped around, punching Joaquin in the stomach with his flesh hand, sending him flying back into the wall opposite Y/N’s door.  Sam raised a taser at Bucky while Bucky backed up and covered Y/N with his body, his metal arm protectively holding her behind him.  She gasped at everything happening so fast, her hands reactively holding onto his metal arm.  “Soldat!” she cried out, and he barely turned his head, glancing at her before glaring back at Sam.  “It’s okay,” she said, reaching one of her hands up to his shoulder, trying to pull him away.  “They’re your partners.  They aren’t here to hurt you, or me.”  She looked at Sam who sighed then reluctantly holstered the taser.  

“I think you’re his new mission, Y/N,” Sam said, turning back and checking on Joaquin, who had the wind knocked out of him.  “He’s not gonna hurt you.  But if something happens you tell Friday and we’ll come running.  Use your abilities on him.  Wake him up.”

She nodded, pulling Bucky back another step.  She and Sam exchanged a knowing look before she closed the door, enclosing her in with the Winter Soldier.  Bucky’s stance didn’t let up at first, until he could hear Sam and Joaquin move away from beyond the door.  After a few minutes he stood straight again, turning and looking at her.  His dead eyes scared her, and she tried to think of what to do next.  He seemed very protective of her, so she decided to play into that.

“Thank you for protecting me,” she said quietly.  “Your mission is complete now.”  He didn’t respond, just staring at her.  She was normally able to feel his emotions easily, but now it was just…silent.  She had never come across someone who felt literally nothing.  Y/N took a deep breath and took a step toward him.  He watched her as she took another step, then reached a hand up toward his face.  She went slowly, not wanting to spook him, and when her hand cupped his cheek he merely blinked.  Confusion rolled off of him in waves, and she felt a little comfort at finally feeling something from him.  “Would you like to sit down?” she asked, her other hand gesturing to her bed.

He frowned, more confusion bristling under the surface.  His eyes snapped to the bed then back to her.  Y/N frowned then remembered, sighing heavily.  “Sit down on the bed,” she instructed.  His frown relaxed and he immediately walked over to her bed and sat on the end of it, waiting for her next instruction.  Y/N rubbed her face tiredly.  This was gonna take a while.  She turned to face him, looking him over for any injuries from the mission.  She couldn’t see anything, and took a step toward him.  “Take off your tactical suit,” she said firmly.  

Bucky started unbuckling and unzipping everything, focusing on the task until he was able to strip it off and set it down on the floor, leaving him in a black undershirt and his pants before looking up at her again.  She slowly approached until she was standing right in front of him.  His confusion came back mixed with a hesitation that made her heart break.  She kneeled in front of him like that first day when she had worked with him, then looked up at him.  “I’m going to touch your chest,” she said in forewarning.  He didn’t react, but she could feel his heart rate spike, the hesitation getting worse.  She slowly raised her right hand and set it over his heart, his chest slightly flinching at her touch.  She swallowed harshly then let her power flow through her hand.  She could feel his panic as his eyes flaked down to her hand and back at her face in alarm.  She gave him a small, reassuring smile.  The power flicked its way over his body, his eyelids fluttering as it relaxed him.  A small flicker of something in his eyes gave her hope.  It looked like recognition, and his frown returned as he stared at her, his left eye slightly twitching as his mind worked to try and figure out what was going on.

Y/N sat up on her knees, her left hand reaching up toward his face.  “Feel, Soldat,” she instructed him.  Her left thumb settled on the spot between his eyebrows, her left index finger on his temple as her other fingers and hand settled on his face.  Both those fingers started to glow like her palm, and they both gasped as her power injected itself into his mind.  Y/N closed her eyes and searched through his head for Bucky.  It felt like she was clawing through old memories, haunting images of blood, pain and death intermingling with old days with Steve, Wakanda, Sam and her face popping up more often.  She couldn’t help but smile as she dug through until she came across, at the center the spider web of synapses, the huddled body of Bucky, shivering and crying as his one arm covered his head, his left metal arm missing.

“Bucky,” she called out to him.

He froze, slowly raising his head until he could see her, his eyes wide as he choked back a sob.  “Y/N?”

“Yeah,” she said, crawling toward him.  There was a strange pull at her ankles, like something was trying to keep her away from him.  She reached her hand out.  “Come back to me, Buck.”

Bucky crawled to her, losing his balance with only one arm, reaching his hand out.  “I don’t know why I’m here.  I don’t know how he pushed me back.”

“You did nothing wrong,” Y/N said, her fingers barely skimming his fingertips.  “We’ll figure it out together.  But first you have to come back to yourself.  Come back to me.”

The thing at her ankles tried to pull her back more harshly, and she had to concentrate her power more and push forward, kicking at whatever it was.  Bucky gritted his teeth, his fingers gripping her more firmly.  With a big burst of energy, Y/N used both her hands to pull his hand, and he flew up toward her.  She embraced him, wrapping her arms and legs around him.  What felt like a pull in her gut sent them both whooshing back to the present until she gasped and opened her eyes just as Bucky did the same.  Her hands were still where they’d been when she entered his mind, but now Bucky’s body looked sweaty, his face red with effort.  His wide eyes stared at her, his panted breaths fanning her face.  His metal hand was holding her right hand over his heart again, his flesh hand gripping her wrist near his face tightly.

“Y/N?” he rasped.

“Yes, it’s me,” she nodded, her hand on his face moving to cup his cheek comfortingly.  “You’re back.  It’s okay, I’ve got you.”  His eyes flicked back and forth between hers for a moment, like he couldn’t quite believe it.  The hand holding her wrist let go and shakily reached toward her face.  She let go of his face and moved that hand to cup her cheek, nuzzling her face into his palm.  “You’re here.  I’m here.  You came back to me.”

Bucky’s face fell, and he broke down crying.  He fell off the bed and kneeled with her, hugging her close to him with his arms around her waist, his face nestled into the crook of her neck.  Y/N held him, twisting her body so that she was leaning against the end of the bed while sitting on the floor, making him sit with her like she was cradling him.  His legs curled up tight at her side as he held her, crying hard against her shoulder as his hands fisted her shirt at her back.  “I thought I had gotten rid of him,” he sobbed.  “Why is this happening to me?”

Y/N felt herself crying with him, turning her head to kiss the side of his head.  “I don’t know Buck,” she replied quietly.  “But we’re going to figure it out together, like I said.  I promise.  No matter how long it takes.  You will heal.”

He cried harder at her words, his tears dripping down her chest.  Y/N continued to hold him, rocking back and forth as her fingers ran through his hair.  She started to hum a song from the 40’s she had heard him listen to repeatedly.  She didn’t know how long they stayed there, but she wasn’t moving anytime soon.

“Miss Y/L/N, Sam Wilson would like a progress report.”

Bucky flinched at Friday’s voice interrupting their moment, and Y/N sighed before looking up at the ceiling.  “Just tell him Bucky’s back and I’ll talk to him later.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Bucky sighed, reluctantly pulling away from her.  “I’m sorry,” he said, sniffing and wiping his face as he got off of her.  “I’m sorry for all this.  I’ll go, I just–”

“Don’t,” Y/N said quickly, taking his hand.  “You can stay here as long as you like.”  His jaw ticked, his eyes filling with tears once again as he peered up at her.  “What you just went through was traumatic.  No one expects you to just shrug it off and go on with business as usual.  Stay,” she urged, squeezing his hand.  “Rest.”

Bucky blinked rapidly, more tears falling as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers.  “Thank you,” he mumbled.

***

Later that night after Y/N had made sure Bucky was fed and showered before settling into her bed, she held him against her chest as he started to fall asleep.  He kept jerking awake, afraid of slipping back into the Winter Soldier, but she kept reassuring him she would be able to feel it if it happened and wake him up to help him out of it.  She mulled over the events of the day, coming up with a game plan of how to handle his treatment in the coming days.

“Bucky?” she whispered.

“Yeah?” 

“What does zhihn moya mean?”

He stiffened then looked up at her curiously.  “Why?”

“I heard it recently and was wondering what it meant,” she said, trying to play it off as a simple question.

He stared at her, his eyes softening.  “My life.”

Y/N inhaled shakily then nodded.  “That’s beautiful.”  She broke eye contact with him and moved his head back to settle against her chest.  She didn’t need to talk about that with him right now.  She contemplated what that meant.  He had recognized her even within Winter Soldier mode, and something within even the emotionless husk in his brain told him that she was something special that needed to be protected.  “My life,” she thought, a small smile spreading on her face.  

***

Bucky woke the next morning against the comfiest pillow he’d ever felt.  He snuggled further into it before realizing the pillow was moving…breathing.  His mind struggled to catch up to what was happening as he slightly pulled away and looked up to see Y/N, her face smooshed into her pillow as she breathed deeply through her mouth, her eyes moving behind her eyelids as she dreamed.  He smiled, taking a deep breath and burrowing back into her chest.  Her sleep dress had shifted in her sleep, revealing quite a lot of cleavage to him that he tried to ignore as his arms tightened around her.  He was still exhausted from the events of the day before, of which he was desperately trying not to think about.  He just wanted to be present, right here and now in this moment of calm and peace.

It was still dark out when he awoke, and he used the cover of darkness that most people wouldn’t be able to see in to look her over.  The sleep dress was hiked up to her hips, her legs tangled with his under the covers.  His metal arm felt from her lower back over her hip, hiking her leg up over his hip more comfortably.  As that hand moved back to her lower back, pulling her lower half closer to him, his face pressed against her chest, nuzzling her breasts until he could get comfortable.  At least, that was his reasoning behind him being a creep in the moment.  They had been close before, falling asleep in the same bed after she had helped him with hard days, but never like this.

Bucky was extremely appreciative of her saving him yesterday from the Winter Soldier.  As invasive as it had been for her to have to dig through his mind to rescue him, he couldn’t describe the elation he’d felt at seeing her face in the deepest, darkest recesses of his head.  He absentmindedly kissed the swell of each breast, his lips skimming over the skin of her sternum up to her throat.

Stop it, she wouldn’t want this.

She shifted against him, her breathing quickened and her hand in his hair scratching at his scalp.  Y/N hummed, holding his head against her neck.  “Buck?  Are you okay?”

He silently cursed himself for waking her up.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“No,” she said, clearing her throat before pulling away just enough to look at him.  “It’s okay.”

He shook his head and shut his eyes tight, unable to meet her kind eyes.  His hands tightened in her shirt.  “I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.”

She was quiet for a moment, then her hand moved from his head to his chin, pulling him up to look at her.  He didn’t dare open his eyes, afraid that he would see her disappointment in him.  Instead he felt her breath fan over his face, then the brush of her lips against his.  His eyes snapped open at that, his eyes flickering over her face, blinking rapidly.  “I can feel you,” she smirked at him.  “I like you, too.”  He let out the breath he wasn’t aware he was holding, a small smile pulling at his lips.  “Though I think we should take things slow,” she added with an arched eyebrow at him.

Bucky chuckled and nodded.  “You’re right, as always,” he agreed, nuzzling her nose with his.

“And don’t you forget it,” Y/N said, nuzzling him back.

“Never, zhihn moya,” he replied cheekily.

Her smirk softened to an adoring smile.  She dipped her head down and kissed his lips softly.  Bucky inhaled sharply as their lips finally met.  It felt so easy, all the pent up emotions and worry all for nothing.  He hummed as he kissed her back, deepening it as he angled his head slightly, but not pushing for too much more.  When she pulled away to look at him again she sighed happily.

“My life.”

[uselesslexbian]

bottoms (2023) sentence starters.

we've looked like shit for years, and we are developing.

we're finally hot. at least, according to me.

nobody's going to want to fuck me this year, just like nobody wanted to fuck me last year or the year before.

i've been building tension.

i'm playing the long game with her, okay?

what the fuck happened to her?

that made me so sad. what?

i don't need this negative, really sad attitude. please.

what the fuck are you wearing?

nobody hates us for being gay. everyone hates us for being gay, untalented, and ugly.

oh my god, she ate shit is what happened.

she ate literal shit? what the fuck?

or did you get beat up again?

yeah, we went to juvie.

i don't want to say it, but we're fucked!

why do you always have to flirt with other women?

it doesn't count if they're not in high school.

would you like a safety ride?

i'm sorry that i looked at mrs. reilly and lightly grazed her left tit, alright?

don't talk to me, you ugly bitch, okay? i do not talk to girls in overalls.

okay, i might be ugly, but these aren't overalls.

you're being really mean right now.

i heard you, like, beat up my boyfriend last night?

maybe i SHOULD buy a gun.

what? don't buy a gun. nobody said buy a gun.

guys do that all the time, okay? that's the point of feminism.

that's not the point of feminism. you also don't care about feminism.

why would you lie to me?

so you killed a girl?

i know how to take a punch.

i was thinking, if they were coming at me with, like, swords and, like, knives, and like, guns and stuff, and you taught me how to punch like that, then i wouldn't die.

can i be honest? you're a person who's not coping with what's going on.

sometimes, when you have a new hobby, don't show up.

that's my favorite way to be an ally. you just say you're doing something, and then you don't do any of those things.

my dad left me, and i'm incredibly punctual.

i'm gonna finally reverse-stalk my stalker.

i'll be able to kill my stepdad.

i love talking about my trauma.

i literally jack off after every single therapy session.

yeah, well, all women are hot to me.

we had to just, like, fight people, sometimes to the death.

i still hear their screams at night, and that guilt will probably shackle me forever.

i realize now, i don't have to be that person anymore. i don't have to just let things happen to me.

i just get the hot people confused. jesus.

i can't answer that question, because i don't know how to read.

no, i would never cheat on you again, okay?

what about, like, a bomb? like a super small bomb. they're super easy to make.

yeah, let's do terrorism.

don't get distracted, 'cause we can be fined like $2 for this.

i really value when people use violence and raise their voices for me. it's actually one of my love languages.

no, leave the skin on his face, will you?

i'm not a fucking idiot. i just look like this.

man, i knew women were evil.

all of the blame just goes on me, then? like, none of this can be traced back to you at all?

i didn't want to do this from the beginning. you know that.

does it even matter? do you even care? do you actually like her? do you care about anyone other than yourself?

do you care about anyone other than yourself?

just find some other girl to jack off to and do nothing about.

if you don't wanna borrow firearms, then why are you here?

sorry, people didn't know you're gay?

i never had many friends, and that's sad. and as i've gotten older in this world, it's just gotten more sad.

okay, well, obviously, why would you lay it out like that? because it sounds insane.

i'm sorry for saying that you have no friends really loud in front of all of your friends.

i'm sorry for being an asshole a lot of the time. most of the time. all of the time.

that is obviously a red flag. are we not reading that as a red flag? that's crazy.

oh, now you want a bomb.

in your fucking dreams, which you don't deserve to have. when you sleep, it should just be like, total darkness.

i do want to say... i feel like you killed that guy.

we killed a lot of guys. we'll process it later.

you didn't have to start a whole fight club just to date me. you could have just talked to me.

[farity]

Obsession, part 16

He liked moments like these. The quiet, everyday moments he had with her. Watching a scary show with her head on his thigh, him playing with her hair and smiling to himself whenever she covered her eyes. The way she laid down with three blankets on her but her bare toes peeked out at the other end of the sofa.

"Ugh, that was horrible," she said, laughing, as the credits rolled. Her phone buzzed and she sat up. "I have my appointment."

"Where is it?"

"In the main house, the empty study."

Aemond sighed. "No."

She looked at him, eyebrows raised in question.

"There is recording equipment there. I will call and have her come here - I will turn things off, and I have to talk to Aegon anyway."

Of course. Alicent had wanted the meeting somewhere she could record the conversation. She knew Aemond's office here was bugged as well, but he'd turn it all off. Besides, he already knew everything she would talk about, he'd been there for most of it, hadn't he?

She leaned over to kiss him, happy he'd made time to spent watching a silly show with her. She knew what was coming, and she knew his mind had to be racing a dozen different ways to prepare.

* * * * *

"What do you see happening long term here? In a year or two, where do you see yourself?"

You looked at the statuesque blonde sitting across from you. She had a kind smile and a very loud laugh, and Aemond had greeted her with a hug, which he rarely bestowed on anyone but his family.

"I want to do my own thing, I want something that is mine," you began, "I get it, there are limits to what I can do, but I want to be useful, I can't just do nothing all day."

"How about personally? "

Aemond had told you that she knew about your marriage, but you didn't know how much he had told her. You decided to be honest. What the hell was the point of therapy if you were going to keep shit to yourself?

"I love Aemond. I sure as hell didn't mean to, and he sure as hell didn't mean to love me, but he has told he he does and I believe him. It wasn't supposed to- I don't know."

"It happens sometimes. Some arranged marriages end up becoming love matches in the end. If you think about it, it is a very specific type of person who can fit into a family like this, to make someone born to it feel comfortable and allow them to be vulnerable."

You nodded. "I don't know how well I fit in with all this. The thought of spending my life knowing there are people out to get Aemond, out to get me, it's daunting."

"It is good that you realize that. Sometimes people are drawn to the allure of danger, but you need to live with the person behind the façade, build a life that is solid and a good foundation for what may be some difficult times."

"I went to my boss's funeral a couple of days ago."

"I'm sorry about that." There was a sincere empathy in her voice, her beautiful blue eyes kind as they gazed upon you. "There will be collateral damage - not just death, but the loss of friendships, of the familiar."

You took a deep breath. "I think I was mourning that as well. I cried like a fool, and I know it wasn't all for her."

"You were mourning the loss of your old life, the loss of anonymity. That is a very real loss, if it is all you've known. You are very strong and introspective to realize that."

* * * * *

Aemond was coming back from the main house when your session ended, and he smiled at the therapist again when he saw her. She was probably the only person he literally looked up to, because in her killer heels, she positively towered over him.

"Thank you, Brienne," he said as he clasped her hand.

"Of course. I'll see you next week?" she said to you as she slipped her bag over her shoulder.

You shook her hand, "yes, definitely."

"We'll be in Tarth soon, by the way."

Brienne smiled conspiratorially. "So I have heard," she said as she walked out the door. "Say hi to Papa for me!"

Aemond kissed you after locking the door. "Aegon has had a crush on her for years."

You pictured your brother in law next to Brienne, and laughed. "I bet he has."

"She's smacked him more than once when he's hugged her for too long, but I think that just makes him more in love."

You laid your face on Aemond's chest. "Are you still going?"

His arms tightened around you, "I didn't want to, but they're too quiet. If there's one thing the Baratheons aren't known for, is being agreeable and placid."

You said nothing, but the thought of him going to Tarth unnerved you. He'd be careful, of course, but you knew there were no certainties in this world.

"What's the deal with Brienne?" you asked, trying to distract yourself. "She's not at all what I expected."

Aemond squeezed you gently before heading to the kitchen. "Want something to drink?" he asked as you followed him. "Brienne is not what anyone expects, least of all her father. The fact that she's, you know, got a university degree and works for a living is an insult to him."

"Gods forbid."

"Exactly. I mean, Father always thought it was 'cute' how we let Helaena help with all that 'computer nonsense'," he scoffed. "He never knew how vital she is to us, regardless of how many times we told him."

"Is Borros Baratheon the same?"

"Yeah, one of the old generation," Aemond nodded, then took a long drink, and you watched his throat work, the forearms revealed by his rolled-up sleeves. "Borros considers it a tragedy that he never managed to sire a son."

You smiled, "he sounds delightful." You sipped at your drink and then put the glass down, closing the distance between you and Aemond. "Come with me."

He didn't ask, he took the hand you held out, putting his own drink down and following you.

"I hope you've finalized all your plans for Tarth," you said, looking at him over your shoulder.

"I have. Why?"

You walked into your bedroom and pulled him down for a kiss. "Because I want you. Because I want to have my husband before he leaves."

He let you deepen the kiss, let you begin to undo the buttons on his shirt and push it off his shoulders, and you felt the tension lighten under the gentle touch of your fingertips. "Gods yes," he whispered as your mouth found the spot on his neck where his pulse beat.

You shoved him onto the bed, stepped between his thighs and began to undo the belt and zipper on his pants. He watched you, chest rising and falling, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. He lifted his hips to help you slide down his pants and boxers, and slid up to give you room. You slipped off the oversized sweater you wore, pushed down the leggings, to reveal a pale pink bra and matching underwear in the sheerest lace, that covered nothing at all.

"Fuck."

You slowly tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. "Well, that is my plan." Kneeling between his thighs, you took him in your hands, making him gasp, and then you took him in your mouth, and he let out a long string of profanities.

You began working him slowly, your tongue tracing around the head and the vein on the underside of his length, going as far as you could as his thighs tensed with the effort to keep still.

"I'm not- I'm not going to last," he panted, and when you hummed around him, he swore again, and you felt one hand slipping into your hair. "I want to come inside you," he muttered, and you raised an eyebrow before pulling your mouth off him.

He grabbed your arms, pulling you until you were straddling him, and then he was tearing off your underwear before impaling you on his cock. "Fuck yes. By the Seven, you feel good."

You reached back to undo the clasp on your bra, tossed it aside as you began to move. Your hips rocked as you rose and fell, the feeling of fullness had you squeezing your breasts, your head falling back as he gripped you so hard you knew you'd find marks later.

More, you thought.

You heard desperate sounds from Aemond, knew he was close, and then he slipped a hand between your bodies, your gasp turning into a moan as you realized how far gone you were. You felt him get even harder inside you and it was enough to send you over the edge, your thighs squeezing his hips as your body tensed, his fingers relentless between your legs, prolonging your release until he groaned, his own orgasm taking over as you collapsed on top of him.

You felt his hips stutter against you as you slowly floated down. One arm went around you and you felt him roll over until you were on your back. He buried his face in your hair and you wrapped your arms around him.

"I will go to battle every day if this is how you send me off," he said a minute later. His hand was running up and down your arm, and you pressed a kiss to his neck.

I'd rather you didn't go to battle at all, you thought, but said nothing. Choosing him meant choosing his life, and you knew that.

"Will you let me know how things are going as much as you can?"

"Of course." He looked down at you, kissed the tip of your nose. "Maybe we can go somewhere after all this is done."

Your eyes widened. "Really? Just you and me?"

He pressed his lips together. "With some guards."

You nodded. "Yeah, I can do that."

* * * * *

Aemond left his wife curled up on the sofa, a book in her hand as he promised her he would be back as soon as possible. It was strange this, knowing there was someone waiting for him to return.

He knew his family wanted him to be safe, but he'd never been with anyone long enough for them to matter, for them to be around when he left to potentially confront someone.

He'd gone over the plan several times with all his men, taken Aegon's input and thanked Helaena for her logistics help. He'd had Cregan Stark's name on a list of people he could call on, Stark had offered, after all, but seeing his sister so happy pulled at him and he decided not this time.

Selwyn Tarth had cleared the airspace over his land, offered as many man as Aemond wished, along with transport and weapons if needed. While Aemond was hoping it would not come to needing such resources, he appreciated the offer, and had requested a discreet amount of both firearms and vehicles.

"We're starting our descent now, sir," his pilot said, and Aemond went over the plan one more time. Every contingency, every detail, he ran through it all.

* * * * *

"I want my accounts released."

Aemond stared at Borros Baratheon, dark eyes flashing in anger as he leaned over the desk in his office.

"They will be, as soon as all our conditions are met."

There was a knock on the door and a soft voice was heard through the heavy door. "Dad?"

"I want your goons to put their guns down so my daughter can come in."

Aemond nodded and his men put their weapons away.

"Come in."

The door opened and a young woman walked in. Aemond didn't know which girl it was, but he wondered at her sudden appearance.

"Floris, come here, sweetheart."

He put an arm around her, kissed her temple.

"Look, I didn't know Viserys was going after you. I gave him what he asked for, but he didn't run his plan by me. I'd like to apologize for that."

The young woman looked down at the ground and Aemond began to get a bad feeling.

"Marry my daughter. We become family, there is no animosity between us."

"I can't marry your daughter. I'm already married."

Borros smiled. "That's easy to fix. Your wife isn't from any of the Houses, it's not like it's an advantageous match. My Floris is-"

"lovely," Aemond interrupted, "but I'm not marrying her, Borros. She's going to Highgarden."

Floris looked up then, "Willas Tyrell?"

When Aemond nodded, she turned to her father. "Father, I-"

"Shut up, girl. Are you sending my girls all over fucking Westeros?"

"I'm making advantageous marriages for them, they will all be part of families pledging their loyalty to the right side."

"And then what, when they're all married off, do I get my accounts back?"

"Dad!" Floris looked at her father, brow furrowed.

"Once they are each married and living in their new homes, you get your accounts back. After providing proper dowries to each of them, of course."

Borros glared at Aemond. "Dowries? What the fuck is this, medieval-"

"This is what happens when you make bad choices, Borros," Aemond said, "you'll keep enough to live here comfortably. And I'll leave some men to make sure you don't get in trouble."

There was the sound of something rolling around and Borros looked out the window. "What the fuck is that?"

"I will send instructions for each girl's wedding - congratulations, Floris, Willas is a very intelligent and kind man. A pleasure as always, Borros." He didn't add that she'd have to cope with his grandmother ruling over the family, but that was not his concern.

He walked out with his men as Borros ran out in time to see most of his stockpile of weapons being loaded onto a large truck. He smiled as the older man began screaming in rage.

A moment later he was shoved to the ground by one of his men as shots rang out. He turned around, gun already in his hand, as Borros aimed at him again.

He heard Floris scream and several more shots rang out before he felt a sharp, burning pain in his chest, and then everything went dark.

* * * * *

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[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Chaos Is Among Us

Pairings: Eclipse/Polar, Kill Code/Glamrock Freddy, Lunar/Mini Music Man, Sun/Foxy (pre-relationship)

Word Cound: 1,155 Words

Summary: Unintentional bonding and the unholy act.

Warnings: Innuendo (mentioned) Sex (mentioned only), Creep (mentioned), Caps, Cursing, Death (mentioned only), Vomitting (mentioned only), let me know if I should add anything else.

Chapter 3: The Horrors

3:40am

Why Is This My Family?

Blood Moon: Why are both Mama and Dad and Peepaw’s rooms making loud noises?

Harvest Moon: Hey, @Moon, can we come over and visit? Maybe help with Plex patrol even?

Moon: Yeah, sure come on little ducklings.

Solar Flare: Thank you, my god that was awkward.

Moon: Why not just bang on the walls and tell them to keep it down?

Harvest Moon: Because that might involve telling Blood Moon what they’re doing.

Solar Flare: Yeah, and Blood Moon is the only one left with some kinda innocence and we don’t want to get rid of what’s left of it.

Moon: Makes sense. Just don’t go in Lunar’s room. He has Mini over. Mini is getting the railing of a lifetime.

Harvest Moon: Are all of you adults just sinners?

Moon: No, I’m asexual.

Solar Flare: No, you just commit crimes instead.

Moon: You got me there. But still. Sunny literally went out for ice cream and hasn’t come back for three hours now since I started my patrol. It’s quite funny, honestly.

Lunar: We’ve been done for a half hour, idiots.

Blood Moon: Done with what?

Lunar: Making loud noises. Yeah, it’s a game to see how loud you can be and Mini was winning. We played for two and a half hours and Mini still won.

Blood Moon: Ooh, is that the game Mama and Dad and Peepaw and Freddy are playing?

Moon: …Yes.

Sun: Wait, I can come home now without hearing the sound of the unholy?

Lunar: Yes, Sun.

Sun: Finally, I can stop hiding in Gator Golf.

Moon: Why are you bugging Monty? Are you two dating in secret or something?

Sun: What? No! Never! Monty and I are friends and he let me crash here to avoid Lunar and Mini Music Man’s unholiness. If anyone, I’m interested in Foxy.

Moon: You mean the guy who hit on me? That ancient little fleabag?

Sun: The very same.

Moon: Okay, who replaced Sun with a copy that’s completely lost its mind?

Lunar: Not it, I was busy.

Sun: Come on, his memory got reset, he doesn’t even remember hitting on you. And the new suit he got makes him much less of an ‘ancient little fleabag’.

Moon: I hate this family and I hate existing.

Harvest Moon: At least you’ve got your three ducklings free of sin, Uncle Moon.

Moon: Yeah fine, I’ll live for the ducklings.

Blood Moon: Can I be the cute duckling with a pink bow on my head?

Moon: Yeah, kid, we’ll get you a pink bow for your hair.

Sun: I have a box full of bows, c’mere kid.

Moon: Sun, that is the most creepy sentence you have ever written and I was there when you said ‘who wants candy until your parents come for pickup’. Please rethink your grammar choices.

Sun: LISTEN

Moon: NO

Sun: I’m allowed to spoil my grand-niece!

Moon: Not at the cost of sounding like a creepy uncle at a barbecue!

Blood Moon: Uncle Sunny, I’m here. Can I have my bow?

Sun: Yes, Blood Moon. I have a pretty pink one.

Sun: bloodmoonwithabowinherhair.jpg

Sun: Sending her back to you, Mama Duck Moon.

Moon: Hate that. Thanks.

Blood Moon: I GOT A BOW!

Solar Flare: It’s very pretty, sister.

Harvest Moon: You look adorable, twin.

Lunar: Ya look cute.

6:48am

Why Is This My Family?

Moon: @Eclipse @Polar I kidnapped your kids. This is a random note. I require coffee and bagels in exchange for the safe return of your kids that are all sleeping on me.

Eclipse: Oh shit.

Polar: Yeah, yeah, we’ll be over in an hour to collect the kids.

Kill Code: Oh my god, we scared the kids out of the house!

Lunar: Yeaaaaaah hearing your Mom and Grandpa getting railed does that. They’re safe, I’m currently taking pictures of Moon being trapped under your kids.

Eclipse: My god, they’re gonna need therapy.

Polar: We have attained coffee and bagels. We’re on our way up.

Kill Code: I’m on my way too.

Moon: Good, I’m getting lethargic you being out of my body so long.

Kill Code: I’m sorry!

Moon: Finally, hate you.

Kill Code: Listen, I forgot I wasn’t supposed to fall asleep! I was tired! I had my back blown out!

Moon: I don’t want to know this information.

Sun: Y’all are cursed. Your whole family is cursed. The adults at least.

Polar: I have acquired my daughter and sons, that’s all I care about.

2:25pm

Why Is This My Family?

Lunar: mynamespeteandilikejugsimmentallyillandimondrugs.gif

Moon: Lunar, that is so random, what?

Lunar: My therapist said I have something called ‘hd tv’.

Moon: …

Moon: You mean ‘adhd’?

Lunar: Yes, that’s the word! See, I wasn’t listening to Dr. Sheph again, I was zoning out thinking about the Saw movies again.

Moon: Lunar?

Lunar: Yes?

Moon: Listen to Dr. Sheph.

Lunar: Aw. Fine. But I’m still gonna talk about Saw during my therapy sessions and he can’t do nothing about it!

Moon: *long deep sigh*

Sun: Did you just really type out ‘long deep sigh’?

Moon: Yes, Sun, yes I did.

Sun: Alrighty then.

Eclipse: Hey samesies on the ADHD.

Lunar: I am now denouncing having ADHD.

Eclipse: Oh, come on!

Lunar: Nu-uh, don’t wanna bond with you over ANYTHING be happy I’m talking in a chatroom where you are.

Eclipse: Not even if I wanted to watch the Saw movies with you?

Lunar: …

Lunar: I’m bringing over my disk set of all ten movies, you better set up fast, you discount soggy Dorito chip. This will take 16 hours and 11 minutes minimum with no pauses.

Eclipse: Getting everything ready. Polar, GET OUT!

Polar: I’ve been evicted in favor of gore movies.

Lunar: You can join if you want.

Polar: Nah. I don’t handle gore well.

Lunar: Then yeah, stay the fuck out.

Polar: Guess I’m stealing the guest room tonight then.

Moon: You’re weird, Polar.

Lunar: Don’t make it sound like you didn’t puke watching them the first time.

Moon: Listen! Some of them got me yeah. Especially Valentina. And Joyce.

Lunar: You better shut up about Valentina and Joyce before I shut you up. No spoiling Eclipse!

Eclipse: I have no clue who those people are, I’m just happy to spend time and bond with you over ADHD.

Lunar: …I’ve been bamboozled by my hyperfixation into *gag* spending time with you.

Eclipse: We’ll you can’t leave now, the first movie’s already playing and you said you’d show me the movies.

Lunar: Alas.

6:41am

Why Is This My Family?

Moon: Sooooooo

Moon: How did bonding goooooo?

Eclipse: New hyperfixation! New hyperfixation!

Lunar: It was nice watching the movies again with someone who doesn’t throw up watching them.

Moon: Listen, I’ve apologized seven times now for throwing up on you during the Valentina scene. I’m sorry! At least we weren’t in a theater and I cleaned it up!

[charizardstolemynickname]

EPISODE 20 PEOPLE!!

I wrote down notes again so I didn't miss anything and it was 2 pages, in my smallest handwriting so- THIS WILL BE A LONG POST

I will split them up into their respective scenes

Collector + Belos opening scene:

I completely forgot about the door building for a minute not going to lie, love to see it again though

EATING PALISMAN?! HE EATS THEM!? Did we know this?? I remember the DESTROYING, NOT EATING

"I can't wait to get out of this prison", now Mx Collector cosmos shadow guy, what does that mean

Speaking of the Collector, the whole time he has been so, kidlike, I wonder why, I hope we find out

Amity's parents + the kids scene:

WOAH! What does that threat mean Mrs. Blight, what deal do you have with your husband, and why does "The kids to play a more active role in Blight Industries" MEAN and why is it a threat!?

We love Mr Blight here, shoutout to Amity's dad

CATs meeting scene:

"This is just a trick to get me to wear clothes" WELL ITS NOT WORKING!" Hooty I love you, so much

"You might be a titan but you are still a little guy" THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING EDA, King is just a baby!!!

"What? Only a few people would get eaten, even then, just the small ones!" DARIUS, my icon, my inspiration, love you

EDA HAS TO JOIN A COVEN?!! NOOOO, SHE IS FAMOUS FOR BEING A WILD WITCH!

..An egg? Okay well the following explanation makes sense, for a minute I thought her literal palisman would be an egg, however I am too impatient to wait for it to hatch WHAT IS IT

"But as exciting as saving the world sounds, its not nearly as romantic as going on a rescue mission to save your girlfriend" BROO, Eda you are so right, Eda is the real number 1 fan of Lumity

WHY IS THIS IMPLYING ONE OF YOU 3 (Luz, Eda + King) IS GOING TO DIE?! I'm with King, STOP THIS TALK, IT IS NOT GOODBYE

My found family loving heart sobbed at that frame of them 3 hugging with the view

HELL YEAH! CATs! Poor Darius, he is suffering

Luz on her mission:

DARIUS INSISTED ON A SECURITY ESCORT!?! AWWW, I knew he cared!

WILLOW AND GUS?!?! YEAHHHHHH

HUNTER?!?!?! Darius really wanted the best security for Luz if he went with the like, Ex Golden Guard

He definitely begged Willow and Gus to come with, I can see it

...I'll be honest I am still not 100% sure what a Grimwalker is, I assume it has something to do with death and control and Belos, but I don't know

THE BLUSH!!! I love Lumity so much, my little children

"We can shout as loud as we want but money always shouts louder" I DIDN'T EXPECT SUCH A HARDHITTING LINE, Well said Emira!

"she'd probably say something dorky but also sweet" Amity the simp, confirmed (/lh)

"AND I'M NOT LETTING THE WORLD END BEFORE WE GO ON A REAL DATE" ....they are so gay, I adore them, it hurts

WHAT SORT OF PETNAME IS SWEET POTATO! Wtf Luz (/lh)

AHHHHHHHHHH (excited scribbles) THEY KISSED!!!!

"Oh Crikey!" LUZ!?!?

"I can't believe I just did that" "I can't believe I just said that! Oh Crikey!" I'm in hysterics over this, jesus christ

Eda + CATs on the ship:

Eda and Raine banter, the immediate "Jealous I'm going to be a better coven leader?" from Eda to lighten the mood is 10/10

EDA IS GETTING A REAL SIGIL!? NOT A ILLUSIONIST ONE?! NOOOOO

"Isn't it cool we get one last adventure together?" EDA THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING, THIS SOUNDS LIKE GOODBYE

Back to Luz & co adventure to talk to Amity's parents:

The King and Collector connection is fascinating to me, clearly the Titans have some sort of connection to whatever the Collector is

Amity's dad needs therapy, love him WOAH KING IS GIVING HIM THERAPY?! damn.

"I'm going to spend more time with my kids, get to know them" AHHHH I am an Amity Dad fan, if he has 1 fan its me, if he has 0 fans, I'm dead

HOMOPHOBIC AMITY MUM?!?! Oh, no, not homophobic just against Luz, well, you win some you lose some

BELOS KNOWS?! AND HAS EYES ON EDA!? I swear if Raine actually is a double spy and IS being controlled by the plant coven lady or something I will go insane

"Was it the power of believing in myself?" "No! It was the power of science! But you almost had it sweetie" AHHHH LOVE HIM

AMITY'S MUM KNEW?! SHE KNEW WHAT THE DAY OF UNITY WAS?! Bro, you aren't going to be treated well, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE YOU DELUSIONAL PRICK

Woah, Luz what was that yellow power thing?!? WHAT WAS THAT!?

NOOO!!! HUNTER, this is definitely kidnapping, in every sense considering Hunter is a kid

Mr Blight being just a fan of his jetpack until he realises what it means, I love him, I adore him so fucking much

Question, what coven is Amity's Mum from, I thought it was abomination too but the ghost thing and the talking into gem thing made me realise she probably isn't, and I have forgot what she is in

"You're always welcome in our home" AWWW SUPPORTIVE DAD!!! I am a sucker for supportive parents

WOAH NO! Hunter, its lovely to see you, as always BUT WHAT HAPPENED!?

WAIT LUZ DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SUPPORTIVE DAD COMMENT! NOOOOOO

God damn it Luz, always 1 step ahead, poor Hunter is so lost

AND THAT CONCLUDES, Episode 20 reaction. Finished. I am pleasantly surprised at this episode, it had so much packed into it and I even missed things out as it would have been too long

I have so many questions and cannot wait to have (most of them hopefully?) answered next episode

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

I found an online therapist who does EMDR therapy, which I have had before.

She's the first therapist who's actually gotten back to me in quite a while. We had a Google Meetup, and she suggested a new type of therapy that is actually supposed to rewire your brain and how it deals with trauma. This sounds very intriguing to me, and I'm willing to try anything.

She sent me a ton of paperwork, and I started on it today. It wasn't until I started writing down everything that I realized how depressed I have actually become.

I don't think I'm going to change or up any medication just yet, but I'm definitely going to go in, all in, on this therapy.

I'm not sure when my first appointment will be. I'm really glad to have finally found somebody because I've been needing to reach out for so long.

I'm getting more and more stressed out at work and having more and more near meltdowns.

I lashed out at 2 chronically misbehaving boys today and made them both cry. Their behavior has been going on daily since the first day of school. Because of them, I only get to teach maybe 20 minutes out of a 45-minute period, and that's on a good day.

I think if the principal would have overheard me. I would have been reprimanded. I really went off on them. I told them they ruined my day almost daily, and they made me want to quit my job because of the utter rudeness and disrespect I get. They always go out of their way to misbehave. And they will literally do the opposite of anything I asked them to do.

We had to have a free day today because there were so many kids gone for UIL competition. Some classes can handle that, but this class couldn't, and they could not get quiet. We had been doing kahoot quizzes, but they were so loud doing that, and finally, I told him that for the last 5 minutes of class, they were just going to sit there and be quiet. 5 minutes before that, the boys asked if they could get on a site called look it. And I said no, we were all going to be on kahoot. And I will be damned if as soon as I told them to sit there and be quiet both of them did not get right on look it and of course someone told them. So I sent them to the principal's office, but of course, no one was there and so they sent them right back to me, and they just said ,,,,,oh we're sorry, which I also hear daily it means diddly squat. That only made me matter and I just lost my temper.

It was so bad today I was actually daydreaming about self-harm.

On top of all of this the one Aid that I still have that has not abandoned me, was trying to take something away from the violent kid, who was not wanting to give it up. I was terrified that either it was going to turn into a wrestling match are the kid was just going to turn around and punch her.

The daily threat of violence in that place is just getting too much. Even if it's not gun violence even if it's just worrying if or when some kid is going to punch you and knowing that when it happens nothing will be done about it.

So yeah, here's hoping I can get started in therapy as soon as I get paid this month.

[diariesof-kg]

Straight Facts.

2024_20_07

The conscious mind can be overpowered by the subconscious mind.

I am proud of myself for not speaking about how I truly felt these last two days. But also I realized it's suppressing my emotions and I need a place to release. I feel like I change too many therapists. Not literally, but I do make progress and then I no longer need it. My way of coping is, expressing things out loud as if they are trapped in my mind and need to be released.

Before I begin explaining yesterdays events. I also note the fact that I always consider my partners feelings. That's how the relationship tends to last. I say that, because in every relationship I have been in except one, each individual always does something to hurt my feelings and never consider my feelings. I think a therapist will have a clinical explanation for that.

What is so powerful is the mind. And for a moment I said we had a great weekend, no arguments or disagreements and then this happens. The true question is, why no one praises me, when I do things but crucify me when I don't do what I have been doing all along. What is so ironic about this and what I was about to say yesterday but held my tongue. Even though it was never said to her so how could she have known, is the fact that, what I did yesterday she did it to me last year. My actions were not intentional yesterday. It was a crazy day at work, like can I even vent about work things?

She has an issue because she felt like I forgot about her, because I woke up in the morning and drove to work. Started working, then co-workers start talking to me, about yesterdays drama at work and I post on Instagram a few times, go back to the drama, then work again. I didn't text her first before doing anything else. At this point of the conversation, I tried to explain my reasoning and reassure that was not the case. Then the interrogation begins. I always advise people not to do that. At some point and when I did therapy, if you explain yourself and your partner continues to question you to no end, and you begin to feel a certain way, then end the conversation. There is no means to an end when a million questions are presented. That's what abusers do, they question and question you until they break you down and you admit to something you never did. So for me, I was with someone like that years ago and had to go through therapy to get out and was taught communication skills while in a relationships. I don't want that for this relationship at all. I am here to be understanding but I also don't deserve to be treated as if I continue to do this to you constantly.

Back story on how this all correlates. This is the millionth reason why, I say my partner never put me first. There were moments, right after we got into a relationship and in between the moments where Candy Cane existed. I remember being active on Instagram and I would see she liked two hours ago and then text me whenever. And I told one of my bff and screenshotted it, like this is weird. I never mentioned it, because it was a lot going on and the Candy Cane thing was already in effect. Even at this time, I texted her first everyday and after the Candy Cane incident, I remember telling my best friend I am going to stop doing it, at which I did. I did it occasionally, but she didn't notice. I mean why would you notice a change like that, when you are still engaging with a ex-fkc buddy. So when I say I was never put first and she replies that she did, it's like pulling out a million reasons why she didn't. She will never understand that statement and will never take that moment to admit, "you know I realized I didn't put you first..." I also remember, thinking at that time I would text her before I started work, and she would reply hours later. Or I wouldn't text first and she would take forever to text. And I remember that feeling too, I was like wow she starts work at a certain and doesn't text me when she first wakes up & how I figured this, is by asking questions. I ask questions that are unrelated at that moment, because I already know i am piecing together a case. I did ask her about what she does in the morning and she said, she wakes up and be on social media and as a Capricorn that's all I needed. And at first it hurt because I was like damn, I text you first everyday excited and when I don't text you first, you on social media. My other blog mentioned this as well. I use to say to damn, she don't think about me first.

So, unintentionally I didn't text her first and this is what happens. The universe I believe is unfortunately giving her a taste of her own medicine. Mind you I been texting her all this week, which I had to remind her at which she replies "what's changed?" Like, nothings changed, I got busy. Any answer isn't good enough. I even said, I will be sure to text you first every morning and won't lack again. Not good enough. Turn around and tells me, "now it feels like you doing something you don't wanna do..." How? If i was already doing it? It's like going in circles. Then my bff called about todays events and what we doing with the children, if anything. I was suppose to be off at 12pm, but he input it into the system for 1:00pm so I took a "30 min lunch" but I didn't take a lunch I just killed time and my co-workers were asking me questions. She said I said I would call her at lunch, for the first time, since my brain laps a lot. I know I did not say that. On my break, she wanted to know what my statement is, and I refused to tell then she asked me when I was getting off and I did not say, then she said she was coming to my job, Lol. Never said I would call back on my lunch, I just said I will call her back. I remember that clearly.

cont'd: Diane calls and we gets to talking and then I put my phone to my side when my co-workers come up to ask me something or I walk away, now she called and I missed it and she wrote "okay" When I checked my phone and saw the okay, I replied, "hold on..." so I hang up with Diane, because the drama at work had gone left, Lol. It's really not that deep, but I can't speak on it, so there's that. Had my brain going left to right. I called her back and it was clear she felt some way. Now I understood how she felt, and when she asked me questions, I responded until I got to a point, where I am like, I am not doing this. The most dangerous thing about me, is when I laugh. I am not laughing in a hilarious, funny mood, it's literally, the laugh of how ironic the situation is and also, I noted things and you have no idea. But the question that was real life not cute, she looked me dead in my face and goes, "who were you on the phone with?" and I said, Diane, then I guess she couldn't hear and she thought I said someone else's name. I repeated it, Diane and she paused like she shouldn't have asked and like she was wrong for assuming otherwise. That's a no no for me in my book. Asking me who I was on the phone with as if I be chatting with random ppl, I don't like that. I really don't, you can feel how you feel but coming at me like that, is an absolute turn off. Also, she said, she wants to be babied or something like that then turned around and said eventually you will get there. That was a turn off as well. I am not an animal that you are trying to train to adapt to your emotions. I never had someone tell me that, Lol. I seriously need to go ahead and click book an appointment for this therapist. Because I have concerns and for the sake of my mental health.

You know what is sad though, when i was going through it and had to deal with the candy cane stuff and it hurt, she always told me "i don't know what to do...or how to fix it." And here I am every time she feels some way, I find a way to fix it and acknowledge I was wrong and reassure to do better, but I never got that. When I cried after she told me she wanted to spend more time with Candy cane and she said I don't know how to fix it but I can reassure you, then turn around and texted her behind my back for weeks, like -- where was the reassurance at. It's a lesson learn, yes the past still haunts me, because for a Capricorn when we cry and tell you how we feel and you throw your hands up, it's like saying a lot but nothing at all.

She calls me sneaky and that's another time for another blog.

I will end this blog with overall thoughts: I understand people's feelings that's why its easy for me to change or adapt to make their feelings matter over mines, but throughout time, I am still questioning why in my relationships, I can never be understood. I understand people can't be who you are. But also felt or thought, feelings and emotions are universal and if people use the statements, "i want people to treat me how I treat them." then why isn't that genuinely implemented. I question all the time, when I get in relationships why people mistreat me and here I am from the start giving them the world. I replay almost once a day, "i wanted to spend more time with her..." and I was really an option even though I was in a relationship already. I often question, why people don't choose me. But then realized that you can't seek others to choose you, you choose yourself always. Someone said to me, you should have played the song, "you should've cheated." Lol, because unfortunately, people get into relationships, but will continue to speak to their exs behind my back, meanwhile I am giving them everything. That's crazy.

[hoganherofanatics]

The Barbie Movie Sucked

Let me just start by saying that I’m a huge Barbie(the doll line) fan and collector. I’ve seen many of the animated films and series’s. I own a bunch of merch, clothes, bedding, water bottles etc. Some of it being Barbie Movie merch because even though I don’t like the film, I thought it was still cute stuff.

But my goodness this movie was terrible. As a super fan it left me really disappointed. Multiple things ruined what hope I had, the politics mostly. I’m a conservative myself, but even if the movie had politics I agree too, I still wouldn’t like it. A Barbie movie should be about fun and creativity(and of course fashion! lol) so political stuff doesn’t really belong. Here’s a point by point list of things I didn’t like.

1. Greta Gerwig

I don’t hate her. I just think Universal made a really bad decision giving an indie film maker(Greta) and an actress(Margot Robbie) the chance to write a script for an already existing property that has a huge fanbase behind it. Throwing a couple million dollars at two clearly inexperienced writers doesn’t make a good movie. Just because these two are popular doesn’t mean they deserve to write about something they don’t care about.

I’m not just assuming that they don’t care about the Barbie franchise either, Greta and Margot both make passive aggressive jabs at it in interviews. The two of them, plus Ryan Gosling, pretend as though they’re the ones who gave Barbie and Ken personalities. LMAO!!!! I audibly laughed out loud, that’s so funny to me. Ryan also made a twitter post about how he made a character who is nothing but a blonde doll into a hottie with a voice of an angel. Yes he said that. If anything, I paraphrased it less pompous than the way he said it. Seriously, we need to stop feeding these three people’s egos, especially Ryan’s. I think their heads might explode with anymore praise.

Both Greta and Margot seem to have some deep seeded issues with the opposite sex. Like sexism on levels akin to Andrew Tate. Which is sad and that kind of stuff shouldn’t be in movies. Ken is a beloved character who didn’t deserve to be ruined by two pompous and quite frankly, sexist writers. I highly recommend those two stop projecting onto Barbie and Ken and maybe go to therapy. Maybe do some praying? Anything to fix their issues before working on another project.

I don’t want to bring up Greta’s husband, but based on interviews I got to. I feel bad for him because it’s clear his wife as no respect for him. I hope he wakes up and realizes that there are other women who will love him twice as much as Greta. I don’t encourage divorce though. They did get married after twelve years of dating which is kind of embarrassing ngl. Like imagine dating in your late twenties and popping the question more than a decade later lol.

2. Casting

Kind of suspicious that Margot was pretty hands on making this film and then was casted as lead actress, but I’m sure she was best for the role…. I don’t think Margot or Ryan were good fits for the roles of Barbie and Ken. Robbie only shares Barbie’s blonde hair, that’s it. Barbie has a pretty gentle face and personality, she’s kind and caring. Robbie doesn’t seem to do a lot of acting work for characters with these traits, one of her most popular roles is literally playing the worst Batman villain of all time lol. I’m not trying to be a bully, but Margot has a really sharp face and unnerving smile. Not trying to shame her, she’s prettier than I am, but just because she’s blonde and popular doesn’t make her a good fit for Barbie.

Ryan looks kind of like Ken, but again, he doesn’t really have the charm and personality that Ken has. For one thing he’s not funny, and for another, his bad attitude shines through his acting. So does Margot’s. Greta admitted in an interview that instead of writing Ken’s name in the script, she was writing Ryan’s name. So she had Ryan in mind the ENTIRE TIME. See how little respect these three have for the Barbie franchise? Also, poor Greta’s husband was sitting there stoned face and let out a little laugh during the interview. Gerwig is always drooling over Gosling, so I can imagine how the guy feels. But then again, it seems like Greta doesn’t care about the feelings of her man. 

Long story short, the two lead actors weren’t good fits for the roles and were only given them because Margot was friends with Greta(plus the producer of it) and Greta had a crush on Gosling. I’m sure they had a lengthy casting process though(this is sarcasm, I can’t believe they cared so little about these characters that they didn’t even bother having a casting call. Picking what actors you want to hire is crucial to the portrayal of the character but I guess Margot and Greta are too narcissistic to give a crap)

The side characters were okay I guess. They only picked Will Ferral because they wanted another big name on the movie. Same situation with the Dwayne the rock Johnson. Dwayne is way too huge to play a Ken. I don’t expect these actors to look exactly like the dolls, but come on. He’s like a 6’5 juicer with a bald shiny head. Ken is gently toned and average height. I know he was the merman but that’s no excuse

Aquafina is a bad actress and singer, her work on the live action Little Mermaid is proof enough. So I don’t know why in the world she was hired.

The rest of the actors seem to have connections or were already big stars, so none of the casting really seemed fair or right, but that’s Hollywood for ya.

3. The story itself

The whole screenplay clearly wasn’t looked over, like at all. I don’t understand how Barbie was able to suddenly grow to human size and go to the real world. I’m able to dismiss this stuff in stupid comedies, but not a movie thats seen as deep and heart wrenching by multiple of its fans and the people who made it(Greta, Margot, etc.) I personally don’t know how people think this film is deep but whatever. Also, not Greta comparing this dogpoo movie to a Greek Tragedy LMAO.

Point is, Oscar worthy movies have plots that make sense. Well, the Oscars nowadays are more of a popularity contest rather than critics actually judging a movie off its quality. Ryan also didn’t deserve an Oscar for best lead male, sorry he just wasn’t that good. Again, the Oscar’s are a popularity contest so that’s why he won lol.

Why is Margot Robbie Barbie the first Barbie to feel sad? Barbie dolls have been around for over sixty years now, no other dolls have felt this way? So many world events in that time span. There should also be more than one weird Barbie, not to mention multiple naked Barbie’s, ones who are headless, neckless, missing arms or legs, ones in homemade outfits or have bad haircuts, ones getting randomly slammed together because the kid playing with them is making them fight.  The water Barbie’s should have mold on them.

What about Holiday Barbie’s? Or Barbie’s based on movies? Like the Scooby Doo Daphne doll. Just because Greta threw in a couple of discontinued Barbie’s, like Pregnant Midge and Cool Earring Ken, doesn’t mean I owe her a pat on the back. Like good job, you know about the discontinued Barbie’s that everybody knows about. If you’re writing a film for an already existing franchise, you better get your facts straight and dive into the obscure parts of Barbie history. But this movie is totally for the fans, not for people who hate Barbie because they think she’s promoting bad beauty standards. Which by the way, if you’re insecure because of a doll, you need to get some self confidence. It’s a doll, it’s not responsible for your bad feelings. Imagine being jealous of a toy lol.

What about Barbie’s sisters? Only Stacy is mentioned. Her sisters are pivotal parts of the line so kind of confused on why Greta left them out? Does she not like kids either? Maybe she couldn’t find a child actor who stroked her ego enough. Flat footedness shouldn’t be a weird thing to them because half of Barbie’s made since like the nineties have them. There’s only ever been one transgender doll made by Mattel, yet a transgender doll was put in the movie? Wouldn’t that be weird? But this film is about pandering to an audience that hates Barbie and supports that stuff, so they don’t care.

Barbies friends are also a pretty big part of the line, yet only Midge is there. I know she talks to the other Barbie’s but it’s not her already named and existing friends. I think Greta knew that it would ruin the terrible “Hi Barbie!” joke so that’s why she didn’t include other named dolls. Allan Is Midges husband so I don’t know why they weren’t shown together. Ken and Barbie are also a couple yet they weren’t together either so clearly Greta is allergic to relationships. Maybe that’s why she and her husband took so long getting hitched lol.

It was really disrespectful of Gerwig and Robbie to not do the bare minimum of writing Barbie and Ken’s relationship in. Like seriously? They’re a couple, no amount of Greta’s gaslighting and projecting will change that. Ken’s not an accessory and was made into a doll due to popular demand back in 1961. Girls who played with Barbie wanted her to have a boyfriend/husband. Ruth Handler didn’t think girls would want to play with a male fashion doll, so that’s why he wasn’t made sooner. It’s like a two year gap between the creation of Barbie and Ken, so I’m sick of uneducated people acting as though Ken was created decades later.

The beach scene was also stupid because you literally can bring Barbie dolls into the water. You shouldn’t do it if you’re collecting because they’ll grow mold, but if you have a cheap one you want to bring to the beach/pool then go for it. They literally live by Malibou Beach for goodness sake. Ken’s job isn’t just beach(he was literally holding a surf board so his job would be a surfer in that scenario but I guess Greta thought beach was funnier. Humor isn’t her strong suit.) he has a lot of jobs just like Barbie including some that she doesn’t have, like hunter or football player. So people need to stop with the Ken hate.

The beaching each other off joke was just gross and the constant discussion around Barbie and Ken’s genitals was just weird. This happens a lot with documentaries around Barbie also. Why are so many of these Hollywood creeps obsessed with doll genitals? And if Barbie doesn’t have a coochie, how was she able to go to the Gyneocologist? How was she even able to turn human in the first place? Ruth Handler isn’t God lmao. Ms.thing may be an angel but she doesn’t have that kind of power. The joke about Handlers double mastectomy was in poor taste. Haha breast cancer, I guess? Ruth made breast implants for other women who lost their boobs to cancer, she actually made a change in the world, something Greta will never do. Though she seems to think she has because people are pretending like her movie is some sort of masterpiece that changed their lives. The only thing Greta did was trick hard working Americans into wasting their money on her shitty movie.

3. Ads

They didn’t even bother hiding the car commercial. I literally saw the commercial on TV and it was legit a scene took from the movie. Same with whatever luxury handbag they were trying to sell. Do better.

4.The sets?

The sets, costumes, and even the dolls, were from different eras. It’s pretty clear they just tried to shove in a bunch of references to appeal to the different ages of the audience. Whatever. It’s implied that all these dolls belong to the mom(America Ferrara) so not only is it odd that this woman owns a bunch of dolls and doll clothes from the past sixty five years, but why is Margot Robbie’s Barbie the only one that’s sad. Is the mom only playing with her? I mean, all the dolls we see belong to her, so shouldn’t all the Barbie and Ken’s be facing the same problem?

Margot Robbie’s Barbie is also aware of the real world, which would imply that she’s aware that she’s a toy. But when weird Barbie tells her that she has to find the girl playing with her, she says “Playing with me?” 

How are you aware that you’re a toy and of your creator, but you don’t know that someone is playing with you???? Did anybody proof read this????

The what was I made for song sucked heavy ass. Barbie is a toy, she was made to bring joy to kids. I understand Greta was trying to ask “What were women made for?” The answer is simple. Both men and women were made in Gods image and put on earth to spread and live his message and multiply. Also to love one another.

This existential stuff Greta thinks she’s unique for is corny and overdone. It’s normal to wonder about our humanity, but at the end of the day, it’s not that deep. Also, that whole rant that America Ferrara went on about what women have to be was stupid. We don’t have to be anything. I don’t feel societal pressure about my looks because I don’t care about what others think. Obviously, dress and look appropriate, but don’t care about what others think. It’s that easy. Stop making up problems. We live in America, the country that treats its citizens the best. Women aren’t oppressed here so Greta needs to stop pretending.

In the end, this movie is a piece of trash filled with dumb politics instead of a sensible plot. Nice job Greta Gerwig, you managed to write something more unoriginal and stupid than the Scream remakes. It hurts as a Barbie superfan, but I’ll have to move on and wipe my hands of this filth.

[musical-chick-13]

CERSEI AND MISA. okay thanks. wait also Near. if you please,

CHARACTER BINGO LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOO

Cersei

I need to clarify that when I say, "I can fix her," I mean "I would make her feel loved and happy and special," I do NOT mean, "I would make her stop Doing Crimes." Why would I want that. She did get a lot of truly excellent content in the show, but I do think they underutilized her in the last season, unfortunately. DEFINITELY underappreciated by the fandom. And the "crack my spine" thing is probably not the most accurate way of phrasing my feelings, but it was the closest option to "I'd gladly let this character murder me." I'm not putting "pretty privilege" because while in my objectively correct opinion she IS the most beautiful woman of all time, this fact did not do her any favors in either canon or fandom. Also, lol at "probably a deep-seated reason," there are definitely many reasons and I know EXACTLY what they are. And although--given the feral (derogatory) nature of this fandom--I probably shouldn't discuss Cersei irl, I love this character SO MUCH that I just. Always do anyway. Literally I am incapable of shutting up about her.

(Sadly, I am in the middle of writing something that Puts Her In Situations. But it's not anything beyond what she already experiences in canon, and it'll all be okay in the end. And most importantly, I 100% know this is not fair, so she gets to get away with murder. As a treat 🥰)

Misa

.....I just realized that the "need them that is concerning..." square might have been intended as like. A sexual thing. When I had interpreted it as "I need to see this character on my screen as often as possible." I am too lazy to edit the bingo board and reupload the picture, so just know that I meant the second thing. 😅

So THIS time, when I say "I can fix them," I mean, "She's my bestie and younger sister, and I'd make her go to therapy." Why does the "projection" space have a circle on it? Don't worry about it. I don't think I'd put her at "white noise" level because that is a VERY specific character tier for me, but I need. I! NEED! Her to be okay. EVERYONE IS SO MEAN TO HER EVEN THE GUY WHO CREATED HER CHARACTER. There is so much there!!! The way she never processed her trauma! The way she deconstructs the idea of obsessive devotion/the manic pixie dream girl! How a retributive MURDER that wasn't even about her at all is the only thing she has ever registered as a Positive Act! The way that these things coalesce into a dissatisfaction with life so great that (barring one specific, immovable goal) no kind of success or admiration is ever enough!!! She just wants to be loved!!!!! One of the most viscerally universal human emotions!!!!!!!!!!! Like, it was very obvious that Ohba didn't care about her at all, but guess what!!!! He accidentally created a really interesting and complicated character anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm totally FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (For more thoughts, go here.)

WATCH THE MUSICAL, THEN YOU'LL ALL GET IT. (<-is foaming at the mouth and barking like a rabid dog while scaling the walls)

Near

"Probably a deep-seated reason" once again, lmao, like I don't know exactly what the reason is. (The way this has been true of all three characters.........) PEOPLE DON'T LOVE HIM ENOUGH. HE'S THE BEST LITTLE GUY, BUT MOST OF THE TAKES ARE SO BAD AND UNFAIR. WHY DON'T PEOPLE GET IT???!!?? (Okay, there's definitely a general idea/theory regarding why. As You Know.) Not really sure what I mean by "I can fix them" here, but there isn't a "I want to make sure they have support and are okay at all times" square, so I think this is close enough.

SO many times I have said, literally out loud, "He's just like me for real." So um. There's that. And Near might not be a war criminal/mass murderer/etc., but I would still like to emphasize that he has never done anything wrong ever in his entire life. :)

[crimesmyblood]

Entry #1: Friday? More like fried my brains today

    Today has been horrendous. I feel like I’m falling through worlds and i can’t keep up with what the actual fuck is going on. It’s like i close my eyes, for a brief second, and then I’m somewhere else, and i have no fucking clue whats going on. Then my ass decides to feel sleepy and now I'm literally holding onto my last pieces of consciousness. Anyways, I’ve fallen asleep during english, only remembering obnoxiously loud and awful music before waking up and realizing the teacher isn’t there and everyone is writing something. I mentally flipped it all off and went back to sleep for another 5 minutes before promptly deciding to wake up and do some work. I turned to my classmate to ask what they were all writing and he chuckled, saying we were doing some exercises in the workbook. It took me a minute to realize I called him by the wrong name and also had half my face plastered in a red pattern from falling asleep on my sweater’s sleeve. I don’t blame him, I laughed at myself too after looking at myself in the bathroom mirror and seeing how much of a mess i am. It’d be almost hot if i wasn’t 150 at my almost ripe age of 16. An embarrassment, someone might say, but I find profits mostly! Like getting discounts everywhere and being able to sleep under the school benches during 2 hour lectures in the gym. I’m just travel-size built. 

  Anyways, our teacher (during english after she came back from fuck knows where) asked us to write something fun that we’ve done during the week. I started the paragraph by saying “I’ve been contemplating the meaning behind our existence, and came to the conclusion that “reson” is just a social construct.” Needless to say I did not elaborate on it, in my still half asleep state. Then I told her I've been practicing the guitar, also I have stolen someone’s girlfriend and went to the park with her. Then I told her that I’ve been engulfed in a drama with a friend, unable to reciprocate their love and how their actions went over my boundaries. I sneaked in that I’m mentally unstable and can not deal with relationships at the moment. Then I told her a joke! She loves hearing my jokes! The joke was “Two priests in a car got pulled over by a cop. The officer said “We’re looking for two child molesters” At which the priests responded “We volunteer!”“. Love that one! 

   Then I smoothly went into saying that it reminded me of my uncle, and then that as I grew, I realized that my family is just a bunch of assholes. I did not elaborate on that one either. I said therapy prompted me to debate with my relatives and that it does wonders to a human. Then I told her to have a good day. Ended the paragraph by saying “Also I’m gay! Hanging by my last threads, [name] :) “. I think I’ll be seeing the school therapist more often after this stunt XD 

    Anyways, there’s this guy in my class. Precious smile! We seem to share at least one brain cell! For context, we are separated into two groups for English and IT. I'm in the smarter one and he’s in the other one. So, everytime I go to the bathroom during english/IT, I somehow ALWAYS bump into him in the toilet! Like bruh! He always greets me like we see each other for the first time that day, and i always tell him how boring classes are. He then agrees, checks himself out in the mirror, says he’s hot, I agree, he chuckles and then we part ways to our separate classes. We smile to each other every time we meet eyes and do a funny wave, which is this funny wiggle of fingers with a comical “byeeeeeeeee”. He once added “Kisses!” Before I left. I have no clue if he’s gay, or not, but I'm not raising any hopes. I’m not crushing on him by the way. I just have this wave of interest in him, and a wish for attention. It will go away in a few weeks, it always does. 

  Today I was left home alone for like 3 hours, so I decided to treat myself to some good quality time to get rid of my shitty mood. I popped some popcorn, made some amazing tea and rewatched “Heathers 1988”. Good movie. Didn’t fix my mood, but at least I felt a cooler type of shitty. Also as i’m writing this, he texted me if i play Valorant. At which I of course said “Yeah!” as a liar would. I’ve never played it before. So now it’s my quest to install the game and learn to play it over the weekend so we can play together. I realized that if i wanted to bond and make new friends, I had to find a good middle ground. So i started watching Starwars cus this one guy is a huge fan and he’s really cool and i want to talk to him more. And now i’m also going to play Valorant to have an excuse to talk more to this other guy. Maybe i’ll end up liking the game more and flipping him off. Time will tell. 

    Anyways, it’s midnight and i have guitar classes tomorrow. I’ll update as i see fit. Remember, alcohol doesn’t solve shit but neither does milk! 

   It was ya boi and the last fragments of my sanity this week! Take care

[ct-multifandom]

AI3 predictions + headcanons

Aitsf and AINI spoilers ofc

Date will come back looking like Falco wearing a Vochlocho with the Greg Chun voice in it

It is revealed that Horadori Institute’s sole sperm donor was So Sejima

I scared myself with this one, this sounds like something that would actually 100% happen

Meaning Iris and Mizuki would be bio half-sisters

So gets murdered finally

And the detectives are like uh oh, we have no leads, the killer could’ve literally been anyone ever

Date and Hitomi actually spend time together and reconnect fr and it’s good

Iris’s next somnium is Among Us themed

She witnesses something important, but her somnium hides it under a puzzle where we have to do tasks and correctly identify the impostor that symbolizes what actually happened. The AI ball is crewmate-shaped like Shovelforge Aiba

We’ll be able to play as Marco/Maruko

If the effects of somnium make Aiba more silly instead of logical and Tama more nervous instead of confident, maybe they make Marco loud and expressive while they’re usually shy and quiet in eye form

Aiba returns to Date and Mizuki gets a new partner

We learn significantly more Adorabbit lore (is it a cartoon or something, or is it like a fucked up parody of Sanrio characters?)

There is a character named Adorat that Bibi likes

They put Shoma on some sort of hormone therapy

He starts working for Pewter

Maybe gets a scholarship/grant from ABIS so he can go to uni for robotics. This way he can get the education without debt and then support Mame when she gets out so she can get back on track and have the ability to find something better than Sunfish Pocket.

Go go Boss blackmailing Riichi to help the Enda-Dois as a parallel to her blackmailing So to save Iris

Unlike Pewter, Amame actually stays in prison for a while, but not a super long time

We meet Mrs. Doi as an NPC and she’s comically normal

We will psync with Moma (hopefully they’ll dial down on his A-Set obsession)

Omg imagine psyncing with Ritsuko the secretary

Naix starts revering Tokiko like a deity

The game starts with Tokiko speaking directly to you, the player, as a sort of narrator figure

The characters call on Lien to pick locks again but his role is very minor like that of Moma in AINI

Bigger Hitomi role please

We get to go to Boss and Bibi’s home as was apparently planned for this game at some point

Screw it, throw in Ryuki’s place too. He probably lives in a fuckin mansion

Mizuki inherited two companies from Ren yet she lives in Date’s studio apartment. Sure, she secretly loves him and wouldn’t actually want to move out, but what does she do with the money she must be making? Donate a ton of it? Saving and investing?

Minor subplot where Date and Tama end up working together for some horrible, terrifying reason

Aiba’s interest in bugs and fish becomes relevant to the case

Another iteration of that hilarious highway scene where all the psyncers are driving to the same destination in their own ridiculous vehicles instead of everyone just going in the limo. Or would it be funnier if they were all in one car? How about both in one game.

In AI1 they said there were six psyncers at ABIS. We’ve met Date, Ryuki, and Bibi, plus Mizuki, so there must be at least three other psyncers and AI balls we haven’t met yet.

The game title will obviously be full of puns so what if AI3 (AI san) is about the first psyncer and AI ball? I’m not thinking a prequel, but it could explain the origins of ABIS and be related to the first case solved using psyncing.

It’d be neat if the main character is a more senior detective, like maybe a Jane Marple type figure. It would be cool to see an old protagonist since the end of VLR

Idk what Marco/Maruko’s gender settings are supposed to be since Marco is a masculine name and Maruko is feminine, but I hope we get a male AI-ball in general

What tacky vehicles would the new character(s) ride? A convertible? Badass futuristic motorcycle?

The English title will have the number 3 represent the letter E and “AI” somewhere in it. Perhaps they will use <3 to reference ai as in love

Polyamorous relationship between three people to represent “ai 3”

Man imagine AI4… knowing that one of the ways to say 4 sounds like “death” and is considered super unlucky in Japanese, they’d go crazy stuffing the title with double meanings

Canon wlw representation please,,, there aren’t enough gay women in the Uchiverse

Mentally undoing the Michael Bubleification of Ryuki’s solo in The Song, pure homophobia

(Feel free to add on)

[yokohamapound]

Hey could I ask some headcanons for Chuuya and Ryu with chubby s/o? Like she trying act confident and stuff, but deep inside is insecure about her appearence. Thank you c:

Hello, lovely! Of course I can. I hope you like these. <3

Characters: Nakahara Chuuya, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Warnings: Body image issues, NSFW mentions

Nakahara Chuuya

If you’re with Chuuya, he thinks you’re literally the best thing since people learned to put fermented grapes in bottles. It honestly won't occur to him that you're anything but what you pretend to be—happy and confident in your body. He's not the most perceptive when it comes to rooting out people's insecurities.

He certainly doesn't have any complaints whatsoever. He maps every curve like a king surveying his kingdom and lowkey assumes you love your body as much as he does.

However, he's not dense. He'll learn your little tells and quirks the longer you spend together, so Chuuya will pick up on your insecurity eventually if you don't tell him. If you do decide to tell him, he's just like "??? What d'you mean you don't think you're attractive? Are ya blind?"

His disbelief is flattering but he also knows it's not his perception that matters, it's yours. He thinks you're hot shit, but if you decide you want to make a change, you've got your own personal pocket-sized hype man right here. He makes bank so whatever you need is yours with one swipe of a black card. Gym membership, new clothes, new haircut, therapy, whatever you need to make the kind of change that's right for you.

Also he puts his mouth where his money is and doubles down on making you feel like goddamn royalty every time he can get you up against a flat surface.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

"Is that a bad joke? Don't be ridiculous."

Yes, that's Akutagawa being nice.

Akutagawa is thin, bordering on malnourished, due to his lung disease. His true strength comes from his Ability, but he doesn't have a lot of physical stamina before he starts coughing. He finds your body both alluring and comforting because of how it contrasts to his tall, thin frame.

On the occasions he does feel affectionate, Akutagawa enjoys the sensation of your body against his, the smooth warm skin and welcoming softness. He's never said any of this out loud, because it's Akutagawa, but he thought you were perceptive enough to realise this. It's a little jarring for him to realise he was wrong. What else has he been misreading about you? Has someone else put these thoughts in your head?

"Who do I need to speak to?"

"What?"

"Give me a name."

"Um...the entire beauty industry...modern media...the mirror?"

"This may take longer than I originally thought..."

Anyway, his um...comforting words do have a strangely positive effect. He finds the thought of you finding yourself unattractive as utterly laughable. That's about as blunt and short as his verbal reassurances get, but he will make subtle efforts to touch you more, to reinforce the point.

[evanjinx]

alternative universe buddie fics recs :)

note: the links weren't working the first time i wrote the post but i edited and they're okay now!! if it still isn't working for you is probably because you're trying to open from a reblog from before i edit it, so try open directly from the original post on my profile.

Blind Date by @sassypopstar [complete | teen and up audiences | 3.8k words]

Buck feels a little ridiculous dressed in a jacket and a shirt. But Maddie had insisted on him dressing up for the occasion and even Chimney had quipped that it’s the right thing to do. So Buck, who never went on a blind date before in his life, listened to his big sister and her boyfriend because apparently that’s who he is now. Or the one where Buck goes on a blind date with someone called Eddie.

Buckley's Bouquets by awashleyno [complete | teen and up audiences | 23.4k words]

A world where Buck owns a flower shop and manages to develop a huge, massive, ridiculous crush on a handsome firefighter that comes in for a visit one day. Or, 5 times Eddie gives flowers to other people and the 1 time he gives them to Buck.

Call It What You Will - Fate? Destiny? (A Tsunami) by @abow123456 [complete | mature | 20k words]

Evan Buckley's day of relaxation is cut short when a tsunami hits the beach he was relaxing at. He has to fight to keep himself and a lost little boy safe from the water, as well as anyone else he finds. After, he meets the boys father and family, and it causes a snowball effect of good things for him, for once.

Capuccino with extra, extra sugar by buckbng [complete | teen and up audiences | 2.7k words]

Buck is the cute barista and Eddie is the grinch that hates coffee. Until, he doesn't. Because if Buck says he looks like the kind of person that would love a cappuccino, who's Eddie to disagree with him? OR Eddie really doesn't like coffee but pretends he does just so he has an excuse to see the cute barista at the coffee shop.

Confirmation Bias by strifechaos [complete | mature | 31k words]

After the fallout with his ex-wife, Eddie believed he could only trust his family with his son. He hadn’t imagined falling for his son’s sweet-hearted nanny, Buck. With his own family so distant, Buck never considered that he’d be lucky enough to find a home for himself, let alone people he could count on. Not until he meets the Diaz boys. AU: Buck was never a firefighter, and becomes Christopher's sitter when Shannon's job takes her away from Eddie and Chris for the summer. Eddie tries to not fall for his son's nanny, he's not very successful.

dream of some epiphany by extasiswings [complete | mature | 7.3k words]

Evan Buckley is lost. It’s happenstance that he wanders into the navy recruiting center—he’s been in San Diego for a few weeks, bartending late nights and weekends, living in a house with three other guys not because he needs the roommates but because he doesn’t want to be alone, and the military is…respectable. Stable. So Buck thinks maybe and opens the door. Buck leaves ten minutes later with a set of printed instructions for sending his first letter, assured that he can drop it off whenever he’s ready, and a name. Staff Sergeant Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz.

Frequent Flyer by red_to_black [complete | mature | 13.4k words]

In his entire time being a firefighter, Eddie has never met anyone as accident-prone as Evan Buckley. And Buck - well, he's quickly becoming the 118's best customer. (Or - the one where Eddie is a firefighter, Buck isn't, and Eddie finds himself rescuing Buck from increasingly sticky situations. Sometimes literally.)

Gave me no messages, gave me no signs... by @reallysmartladymariecurie [complete | teen and up audiences | 7.4k words]

"Buck is beyond nervous, and he’s really trying to convince himself that the familiarity of the situation is not some sort of bad omen. Just because there are parallels of the start of his relationship with Eddie to that of his relationship with Abby doesn’t mean that this new adventure is destined to end in the same miserable fashion. He hopes it won’t, has to believe it won’t. Because even with Abby, he hadn’t fallen this hard for her before their first official date. With Eddie, everything is already intensified by a thousand." Or, Buck covers a shift for a firefighter at the 136 and it leads to a budding relationship through text messages.

Gotta Find My Corner (Of the Sky) by doctornineandthreequarters [complete | general audiences | 31.3k words]

It was the last day of 2016 and two lost souls found themselves in a quiet dive bar, as the loud noises of the city celebrating New Year’s Eve buzzed around them. Most people chose loud, flashy bars with DJs and entrance fees and promises of champagne for New Year’s Eve. But both occupants of the dive bar preferred the quiet. They both didn’t need the added chaos when everything around them already felt chaotic. --- Or, Buck and Eddie meet on New Year's Eve, 2016, a meeting that sets of a series of events that changes the trajectory of both of their lives.

I Didn't Know I Was Lonely 'Till I Saw Your Face by @hmslusitania [complete | general audiences | 10.4k words]

After the ladder truck and the blood clot and the tsunami, Bobby makes Buck go to therapy before he does something stupid (like sue the city). Buck's not totally comfortable being alone with a therapist, but fortunately he makes a friend and ally who's willing to help him out - Eddie Diaz from the 136 who's just been caught in an illegal fight club. OR Total strangers Buck and Eddie go to couple's therapy together to get out of the therapy requirements their captains have placed on them.

i want your midnights by allyasavedtheday [complete | teen and up audiences | 36.3k words]

In which Eddie decides to rent out his spare room to help with mortgage repayments right around the time Buck decides to move out of Abby's place after some not so gentle prodding from Maddie. It's a coincidence. Or serendipity. Or maybe just really good timing.

i wanna be know (by you) by @starlightbuck [complete | general audiences | 12.5k words]

“I didn’t mean to do it.” Hen glances down at Eddie’s phone then back up at him in disbelief.

“How do you ‘not mean’ to download a bunch of dating apps but still have them on your phone?”

Or  In which Eddie delves into the intimidating world of online dating.

if i got locked away (would you still love me the same?) by @firefighterhan [complete | general audiences | 3.7k words]

Buck gets accidentally thrown in jail after meddling in a fight outside of a grocery store. There, he meets an unexpected guest, famous music artist Eddie Diaz, who is being suspiciously quiet about how he ended up here in the first place.

if only in my dreams by @buttercupbuck [complete | general audiences | 5.4k words]

Years before Eddie joins the 118, Buck meets him at an airport bar on Christmas day.

in a week by @buttercupbuck [complete | explicit | 78.9k]

in which Eddie joins the U.S. Forest Service and in the meadows of California, finds the things he thought he lost and the things he thought he'd never have.

It Started With A Bang And A Hostage Situation by JayJay__884 [complete | general audiences | 6.6k words]

Buck goes to the store one late night to buy food because of Maddie's pregnancy cravings. Whilst at the store, Buck accidentally gets caught in the middle of a robbery and gets knocked out. After waking up in the backroom, Buck finds himself as a hostage with a handsome and caring stranger.

Leading with the Left by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels [complete | explicit | 84.7k]

When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico." And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?" In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.

Lift me up by @captain--sif [complete | teen and up audiences | 5.5k words]

Buck gets stuck in his apartment building's broken elevator with his good-looking neighbor from the sixth floor.

Love and Bullets Both Shatter Hearts (But Only One Can Put You Back Together) by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels [complete | explicit | 11.2k words]

Agent [Redacted] Diaz is the best at what he does. Usually. But lately there's this real pain in the ass* who's been ruining his missions: Code Name "Buck."

*stupidly handsome and annoyingly talented rival spy

Mr. Buckley's After Hours Detention by aresaphrodites [complete | mature | 11.4k words]

It’s not like Eddie Diaz planned on this. Really, there was no scenario in his mind where he would ever be bringing his son’s teacher a freaking goody basket to class; a homemade goody basket, no less. Then again, Christopher has never had a teacher quite like Evan Buckley.

MukbangsWithBuck by @reallysmartladymariecurie [complete | teen and up audiences | 19.3k words]

After growing tired of eating alone in his loft, Buck decides to start a YouTube channel where he records himself eating dinner and telling stories about crazy things his team has encountered on calls. He eventually gains a substantial fanbase, and he is led to the channel of another LA firefighter who uploads informational videos and also casual vlogs with his ten-year-old son. It isn't long before the two start a friendship through messages, both of them secretly hoping it will turn into something more. Or, Eddie and Buck are both firefighters/YouTubers and they end up falling in love.

Objects in the Mirror by SevenSoulmates [complete | explicit | 139.1k words]

The voice had always been around, Eddie remembers it, like a stream of consciousness that babbled incoherently to the point where Eddie just tuned it out.  But then the voice started speaking directly to him. Conversing like he was a whole person standing right in front of him. Like he could see what was happening around Eddie. Eddie shook his head. No one was talking to him, and Eddie most certainly was not talking back. He wouldn’t talk to the boy in his head ever again. There was no boy in his head. 

Passive Aggressive Flirting by @starlingbite [complete | general audiences | 4.5k words]

Buck and Eddie have never met. They both work at the 118 but just on different shifts. That's all about to change when Buck finds a sticky note message, signed E.

String of hearts... by @reallysmartladymariecurie [complete | teen and up audiences | 11.1k words]

“Now. Eddie is this incredible presence. He’s funny and smoking hot, and he has a son who sounds wonderful. And he’s serious and vulnerable at times. But so enjoyable to be around, every single second that he’s there. And how can I put myself out there when the expectation is so high? When the thing I might lose is so beautiful?”

In which Buck owns a plant shop in LA, and Eddie becomes his new favorite customer. Pining ensues.

check out my post of buddie fics with dad!buck

[phoenixyfriend]

Anakin and the Jedi Babies: Where There’s a Whill, There’s a Windu

Context: original post, chrono

(Summary of the AU: Disaster lineage got tossed back in time. Anakin stayed 21-ish, but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got deaged, took new names for time-travel reasons (Ylliben and Sokanth, or Ben and Soka) and have been officially adopted by Anakin.)

----------------------

“You’re attached.”

“You’re just now noticing?”

Master Windu eyes him for a few long moments, and then joins him on the ground. Anakin can’t help but smirk. There’s something gratifying about having respect from the man, in this life.

“The other members of the council are concerned.”

“And you aren’t?”

“I am, but for other reasons,” Windu says.

Anakin doesn’t meet his eyes, doesn’t even respond for a long minute. He just looks out over the Room of a Thousand Fountains, spread out below them like hundreds of jungles pieced together in a jigsaw of flora. It’s been his favorite room in the Temple since he was a child, and it’s always overwhelming.

“Most of them have accepted that you adopted them because of Mandalorian customs, and that you stayed where you were due to the will of the Force,” Windu continues. “But they are… uncomfortable with how blatantly your attachments show.”

“Mandalorians are loud and refuse shame. It rubbed off.”

“You said you would kill for these children.”

“I’m their father. That’s kind of expected.”

Windu’s expression is tired. A little tired of stress, but mostly tired of Anakin’s shit. “You know what I’m trying to get at.”

“Do I?”

“Skywalker.”

“No, I’m serious. I need you to spell this out. I’ve had a million slightly-contradicting lectures on this topic, and I’ve been told pretty clearly that I misinterpreted a solid half of them. If you want a constructive conversation, you can’t be vague. I’m thirty-three years old and a father of two, Master Windu, so yes, I’m attached. What you mean by that word is going to change where this conversation goes.”

It’s gratifying to see the Master actually think it over.

“Ylliben’s tattoos have been causing the most recent stir,” Windu finally says. “They nearly all relate to family, whether new or old, and the symbolism is concerning to those who are already upset about the Mandalorian upbringing. They worry that he’ll remain too tied to people he grew up with, and unable to maintain neutrality in future diplomatic ventures, or at risk of a fall if one of the people he’s seen fit to memorialize is injured or killed. The assume a similar state of mind may be applicable to your daughter and yourself, especially given the off-color jokes about how possessive your children are about each other.”

“They’re worried about emotional immaturity,” Anakin summarizes. He offers a wan, unimpressed grin. “They do realize he’s fourteen, right? Nobody’s emotionally stable at fourteen. The hormones are out of whack.”

“I’m aware,” Windu grinds out. “And I’m aware that your histories, of war and all such things, make your ties much stronger, but you can see why the Council worries, especially those who are wary of the memories your children carry but won’t explain. I’m the only one you’ve told, Skywalker.”

“Plo and Depa know.”

“Plo and Depa aren’t on the council.”

“Yet.”

“Skywalker.”

He relents. “It’s not about Mandalore, Master Windu. It’s about Tatooine.”

Windu lets that sit for a few moments, and then sighs. “I don’t know enough about Tatooine to parse that.”

“Shmi and I are former slaves,” Anakin says, as bluntly as he can. “I was freed at nine, she at eleven, and for all that we are free, we’re not freeborn. We were born slaves, and raised slaves, and we were freed too late to forget that life. The way we think is always going to be affected by the way we grew up. That applies to all sentients, more or less, but it’s… the slave mentality is completely at odds with Jedi teachings, because Jedi teachings can only be taught in a safe environment.”

Windu nods slowly, and says, “That does make sense, but it’s… forgive me, but that’s why we don’t normally take children older than four.”

“From the perspective of teaching cultural values, that makes sense,” Anakin allows. “Teaching a Jedi child that’s cared for with communal resources that they do not need material things to be happy is fine; trying to convince a slave child of the same, someone who grew up being told they do not deserve material things, and that their owner can take anything at any time, including family? I lived that life, trying to adjust to ascetic Jedi values that coincided poorly with slave rules. I know exactly how poorly that transition can go when the person caring for the child doesn’t know how to handle the points of conflict.”

“Do you regret joining the Jedi?” Windu asks.

Anakin shakes his head. “My Jedi master, bless him, cared, and tried very hard, but he wasn’t ready to handle a kid like me and in hindsight, I know that. He needed grief counseling, and I needed therapy, and neither of us was getting it. I don’t… I don’t believe anyone in the Temple would have known how to handle a kid like me.”

“But you don’t regret it.”

“I was meant to be a Jedi,” Anakin says, as firmly as he can without getting unnecessarily bitchy about it. “My struggles with the Code aside, I was meant to be here. But the Temple doesn’t have any resources for children who come older, and I think… I think you do need that.”

“You just outlined why a child can’t follow the Code if they come from a different enough background,” Windu says.

Anakin shakes his head. “No, that’s not—I think a kid like me can learn to be a Jedi, if a little unconventional, if they’re taught correctly. The desperation to cling to anyone and anything you have can be unlearned. It takes time and effort, but it’s possible. Soka and Ben are good at balancing Tatooine care with Jedi control. If you talk to Ben, you get an entire philosophical breakdown about it, but I’m more concerned with the child psychology, because that’s what could have broken me.”

Windu frowns. “You’re building up to something.”

“I think the Jedi need programs for children found older who can’t become full Jedi,” Anakin asserts. “Even those who cannot reconcile what they absorbed growing up with the Code and Jedi tradition… they, we, need guidance. The Council tried to reject me for being too old, and now that I’m grown I understand why, but… Master Windu, what do you think would have happened to me if I hadn’t had my Master to fight for me, and had been turned away?”

“We’d have looked into placing you back with your mother and, upon finding out that she was still enslaved, secured her freedom,” Master Windu says. “Qui-Gon Jinn had taken responsibility for you, and thus you were a ward of the Temple until such a time as you were safe again. It would have been cruel to keep you from your mother if we were not to raise you a Jedi, and crueler still to allow you to return to slavery.”

“And you think I’d have been safe with her?” Anakin asks. He needs Master Windu to understand this. “You think that would have ended well?”

“You don’t?”

“Ventress,” Anakin says. “Maul. Aurra Sing, even.”

Windu considers that. He looks across the grand, green room of the garden, and finally speaks. “You think you’d have been found and corrupted by a Sith.”

“I’d already helped Naboo win a battle. I was a powerful child with no support system in this respect, eager to please,” Anakin says. “Ventress and Maul both got twisted into Sith Apprentices. Aurra Sing was just a bounty hunter, but… even if the Jedi had never found me, and the Sith remained unaware, do you think I’d have ended up better than Sing? Or would the pressures of slavery have led to my Fall anyway, eventually slaughtering my owner, the Hutts, the entire system of Tatooine’s hells?”

Windu rubs a hand over his forehead. “I understand what you’re getting at.”

“It’s not just me,” Anakin says, as carefully as he can. “Even without the Sith, there are plenty of Force-Sensitive children in terrible situations that are liable to Fall just because of how power is wielded by those at the bottom. Refusing to take on students who are already at risk… the Jedi are meant to monitor Force users to prevent Sith and other dark-aligned people from harming the galaxy. It’s one of our primary duties. If the Jedi are allowing darksiders to rise just because of an age limit…”

“I get it,” Windu says, just a little aggressive. “I understand. Give me a minute.”

Anakin tries to wait. He’s older now, he can do that. He can be patient.

He tries to convince himself that it’s true.

“You have a point,” Master Windu finally allows. “And with the knowledge that the Sith are out there, still, it’s a more salient point than most would think. The EduCorps already has a subdivision for teaching meditative techniques to low-level force users who need to learn shielding but aren’t sensitive enough to be Jedi, or are just too old, but I see your point about encouraging a program for powerful Force-Sensitives that aren’t discovered early enough to integrate into the community in full.”

“And a more comprehensive Search pattern for the Outer Rim?” Anakin suggests. He shrugs at the look he gets. “What? You’ve seen my midicount. I was on Tatooine for almost a decade, and the only reason anyone found me was that Qui-Gon had to crash a ship in the middle of nowhere. I’m sure the Force led him to me, given all the coincidences, but that’s still a solid nine years that nobody did, despite how I apparently ‘shine like the sun’ or whatever.”

“Humble.”

“The last time I took a midichlorian test on a portable counter, it literally broke the device. That’s not arrogance, that’s just absurd.”

Windu looks exhausted by the comment. Anakin can’t bring himself to feel too bad about it.

“What about Jedha?” Anakin suggests instead. “Jedi find the kids, but if they’re too old to be Jedi, we could coordinate with one of the temples at Jedha to see about having them raised in the traditions of the Whills? They’re a little less orthodox, aren’t they?”

“In some respects,” Master Windu says. “More constrained in others, but… it’s a possibility. Most of the overlooked children, yourself included, are from parts of the Outer Rim that aren’t part of the Republic, Skywalker.”

Anakin shrugs. “And many of them would have been happy to be found and collected by a Jedi, even if they couldn’t become Jedi. Not the Dathomiri, since they’ve got their own thing going on, but… from what I know about Ventress, she actually did have a Jedi Master before the situation on Rattatak became… what’s the word… untenable? He died and she was left alone, and she’d been a slave already and it just… did not end well for her. But that was a planet overrun by pirates and warlords, and would have been approved as a planet the Jedi could help without it being a weird colonialism thing… if the Senate weren’t made up of cheapskates, at least.”

“Skywalker.”

“My name isn’t actually a reprimand, you know.”

“You’re not supposed to just say that,” Windu groans, running a hand over his face. “The Senate’s choice in funding is not optimal, but insulting them in that way, even in private—”

“They’re assholes,” Anakin says, and doesn’t let his humor show. “Except my late wife, but she’s not part of the Senate in this time, so I feel no shame in accusing the entire shitshow of being cheapskates.”

Windu looks about ready to push him off the ledge.

“You’re never allowed to go on diplomatic missions, are you?” Windu mutters.

“Unless it’s to Mandalore,” Anakin clarifies. “Also, never send me to Tatooine. Ever. Please. I kriffing hate that planet.”

“I’m going to assume you have plans to kill a Hutt if we ever send you to—”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Windu sighs. “I’ll discuss this with the Council, see how they feel about reaching out to Jedha for your suggestion regarding the Whills.”

“And you’ll tell them not to worry about my kids?”

“Skywalker, they are never going to stop worrying about your family,” Windu tells him.

“That’s fair.”