#literally put the book aside to complain lmao

[sugarcarnation]

such a nitpick but i can’t help but be annoyed by romances that make a point about how the woman is sooooo tall but luckily her bf is even taller 🥰

[writtenontheport]

The Haunted Boy and His Ghostly Girlfriend

Pt. 2 (Prologue) (Pt. 1)

Anthony Lockwood x fem Reader

Warnings/Tags: A bit of angst in that being a ghost is probably lonely LOL, Lockwood’s a bit more levelheaded here, purely just setup, SLOW BURN!!!, How do you write romance with ghosts, Lockwood is in love with you, He’s a bit stupid about it really, OH YEAH WAIT I FORGOT TO ADD: Reader is literally a ghost LMAO

Notes: I’M SO SORRY IF THIS PART IS A BIT,,,, DISAPPOINTING,,, I know this part isn’t fluff heavy, but I was struggling so hard figuring out how to make this fluffy like I usually do,,, but most of my fluff is exploring physical touch as a love language and if Lockwood touches the reader here he will literally DIE. That is not metaphorical it will kill him… she is a literal ghost 😭

Summary: Lockwood introduces you to the library, which, in the future will become your regular haunting. He’s also pretty sure he would do about anything for you to smile, which might not be the best thing to say to someone you just met so he doesn’t say it!

Word Count: 1.3k+

Lockwood presses the clamps of the silver-glass case open, taking out your necklace and gently laying it on the cushion of his chair. It sits there, on a plump throw-pillow, glimmering in the dark of the room before you appear. Miasma seeps into his bones with a cold chill, but his heart beats three times faster and his cheeks warm at the sight of you.

(In the future, Lockwood would have trouble separating those feelings during cases after spending so much time around you. It was a bit troublesome, but he’d never complain about it— it wasn’t your fault, after all, that your mere presence in the living world brought about a form of death.)

Disorienting as it was, Lockwood is quick to adapt as always and shoots you a grin oozing with charm. It takes you a moment to relax at the sight of it, lips falling into a small smile as you settle to the floor. The silence is thick, but not uncomfortable, and Lockwood is glad about that. He hopes the quick beating of his heart isn’t audible from where you are, or it would quickly become a very uncomfortable silence.

“Lucy and George are, um, upstairs for now,” He says to break the silence, resting his hands on his hips. “Lucy said something about changing out of work clothes and… well, George could be doing anything from reading to doing yoga in the nude, so no idea what he’s up to.”

You smile cheekily at that; a blinding thing when you glow so brightly in other-light. Lockwood’s sure that even without it, your smile would still outshine the moonlight that drenched you when you’d first met. It made him wonder for the first (of many times) what it would have been like if you’d met when you were alive. He wills the thought out of his head and instead focuses on you now as you are, ghostly and all. Really, he was lucky to have met you in general.

“I have a question, if you don’t mind me asking.” He shakes off his jacket and moves to rest it on the back of the chair, gesturing for you to sit. “Though it might be hard to answer now that I think about it.”

You look amused at the gesture and pick up the throw pillow and necklace to put aside, sitting down. Your eyes scan about the room, widening as you gesture to a book on a nearby table and mime writing with a pen. He picks up on it quickly and whips a pen out from one of the many nooks and crannies of the messy library, picking up an empty notebook George must have left here.

“Brilliant thinking,” He says, beaming. Sliding it over to you from across a small table, he rests his hand on the wood of it and leans on that arm, resting the other hand on his hip. It’s a mindless thing that makes you watch him for a moment longer than usual, but it’s enough to make him feel a bit coy. Something about your eyes leaves him rather helpless, but he’s not complaining.

The pen seems to lag behind as you drag it across the page; just for a second, just enough to make something about it seem wrong. It only makes Lockwood feel rather curious, not at all put off. You put the notebook down on the small table but keep the pen closer as you slide him the open page.

‘Ask away,’ you’d written. Your ghostly hand draws the notebook back as you smile lightly up at Lockwood from where you’re sat. Something about it is so soft that it has him weak, clearing his throat as he tries to remember the question.

“Do you know how long you were there for, at the Thistlebrows’?” He watches your lips purse into a thin line, before you scribble an answer back that you turn for him to see.

‘Not really,’ you’d written, something so distinctly lovable seeping into the way you write, ‘Only that it felt like an eternity before I met Pepper. It was rather lonely before her; I lost track of time.’

That made sense, with what he knew about type threes. Lonely sort of ghost, Lucy once described; George had backed that up with, They wait forever for someone to be able to notice them, of course they would be. Right now though, he sees the glimmer in your eyes dull and the smile on your face flatten. It must have been a terrible afterlife to live alone for so long; it must have been doubly terrible to have the only person who could hear you taken away. The thought wraps its horrid fingers around his heart as he watches you hover the pen over the page as if frozen in time; your eyes focused on Pepper’s name.

Something lurches in his gut, urging him to say something— anything— that might make this better. This is something that will follow him for every day that he knows you, and every single time it will feel like it will be the death of him as much as your gorgeous eyes.

“Pepper was very upset at being sent away, you know?” He says quietly, watching as you turn up to him in surprise. “Her grandparents told us about it, said you were her best friend.”

You drop your eyes back onto the page, a little smile playing at your lips as you write. Lockwood could live off your smile for the rest of his life (and afterlife) if you’d let him, the beauty of it beyond description. It wasn’t strange to feel so proud of making someone smile, right? Especially if said someone was the most beautiful girl dead or alive.

‘Her parents were deathly protective of her, barely let her outside. I was her only friend.’ Lockwood knew tacitly that she was yours too, but chose not to bring it up.

“We could send her letters, if you want?” He suggests, taking long steps over to the chair across. You eye him cautiously, and he finds it a bit (correction: quite a bit) endearing. “We’d give them to her grandparents to send for us, of course. If her parents are that dour, I’d doubt they’d let her read a letter from some random agency housing ghosts.”

With your brows raised and the impression of a smile, you write to him ‘Maybe you aren’t that dull after all.’

He huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes, leaning deeply into the chair. “I think you’ll find I’m actually quite brilliant.”

He can’t hear it, but your shoulders ruffle in a bit of laughter and he’s struck frozen by your beaming face. Maybe it was simply the effect of a type three, but Lockwood was feeling the exact opposite of ghost-lock; a heart threatening to beat out of his rib cage, and a warmth filling his lungs despite the cold air. Miasma and thick quiet be damned, your presence brought him something warm and comforting in all the ways he could never explain.

Before you could write back whatever clever reply you wanted to, footsteps heavy and full ran down the stairs (echoing through the walls, they were so loud) and startled you both. Lockwood sends you a smile as he raises from the chair.

“Get ready; if that’s George you’re about to be questioned for the next hour at least,” He grimaces playfully. Your smile blooms as the warmth in his chest does, unfurling like other-light and a warm haze in his heart.

(George, who actually can hear you when he holds your source, does proceed to ask you questions for at least an hour that day alone. Lucy, who can hear you just fine, told him off if he said anything a bit too insensitive. Lockwood? Well, he asked so many questions too that Lucy begged him to just learn sign language with you so he could ask them himself. The way his whole face brightened— you were sure it made your dead heart beat.)

A/N: IM SORRYYY,, I know I know,,, I said this part would be more… MORE…. BUT I JUST… UGH… I LOVE writing plot important scenes 🤞🤞🤞🤞 My ass just keeps wanting to establish shit before I head into the next interesting part (LIKE IK,,, ITS KINDA BORING BECAUSE THEYRE JUST HAVING A SMALL CONVERSATION,,,, BUT HEAR ME OUT,,,) I’m all out of lies… I just love writing soft fluff I’m sorry…

Taglist 🏷️: (Please reach out if you want to be added or removed from the taglist)

@tangledinlove

@naive-daydreamer (sorry I didn’t know if you wanted to be tagged or not so I kept you tagged!! Please tell me if otherwise!!)

@daydreamingabthar

@wordsarelife

@brain-has-left

@superiorjam

[aesethewitch]

#OcculTea - Conclusions

What are some topics of conversation I’d like to see more of in our community?

I do think that there’s a lack of intermediate to advanced content in the public eye. And I understand why, of course. Beginners find posts they don’t understand and ask a million basic questions: “How do I raise energy?” “Should I cast a circle first?” “If I don’t have this ingredient, what can I substitute? But I don’t have that either, what about this?”

And if they don’t get answers, or if the wrong person finds a post that speaks just a little too authoritatively, they get pissed. Tumblr’s hatemail game is, indeed, unreal. It’s hard sometimes to want to publish something personal or talk about something that the General Audience might disagree with or that’s more advanced than what can usually be found out there.

It would require beginners to recognize when something isn’t really for them (yet). It would also require people to give the benefit of the doubt and actually read a whole post before jumping to the replies or into the poster’s ask box to complain about their wording or tone or “how could you leave out such and such specific detail” or other annoying, disrespectful nonsense like that. Alas, this is the piss on the poor website.

What are my community needs?

My top priorities in a community are somewhere to ask questions, somewhere to have casual, low-stakes conversations, and somewhere to share and vet resources (books, PDFs, shops, materials, websites, blogs, etc.). I sometimes fall off the face of the earth and go hermit-mode for mental health reasons, so communities that require constant participation and look down on declining invitations are no-gos for me.

For the most part, I do think my community needs are being met! I wish I had an in-person place to go, hang out, buy or make things, and just exist as a witch without worrying about conforming to love-and-light ideals and/or cultural appropriation. I’ve been thinking about starting meet-ups at our local library, but the idea of no one showing is… well, it sucks and is scary. So. We’ll see how that goes.

Where would I like to be held and supported?

It really depends.

In this space (Tumblr), the greatest supports are reblogs. Liking a post does little for me in terms of exposure and connection. A reblog spreads my work to new eyes while also showing me that yes, the thing I’ve written is useful in some way. Replies are also good, but reblogs are really where it’s at.

Direct interaction with my work encourages me to write and publish more. I stopped putting up my research into digital divination (which has continued, by the way) because it wasn’t getting any notes. To me, that says that no one’s reading it. If no one’s reading it, I shouldn’t spend so much time cleaning up my notes for presentation, because that’s time I could use better elsewhere on work that will get attention and perhaps pay the bills.

Which kinda sucks! Research into theory and the history of these niche topics are very much passion projects of mine. I’ve got all sorts of notes dissecting Pick-A-Card tarot culture and clickbait tarot YouTube/TikTok videos that may never see the light of day, because it just… doesn’t get noticed. No one cares. I care, obviously, and that’s why I’m still doing it for myself. I’d love to share it, but… again, who cares, aside from me?

Basically, just… interact with stuff, lmao. Tip if you can, still interact if you can't. If you enjoy someone’s work, reblog it. Likes do nothing for creators on this platform. And as someone who relies on this platform to spread my business, reblogs really do make all the difference. (PS: Everyone who has ever recommended my services to someone else, either here or elsewhere, is literally an angel. Word of mouth does more for small businesses than any amount of advertising I could possibly do. You’ve got no idea. Ily.)

Where do I feel like I’m not truly being seen by my community?

I get a lot of attention for my free tarot stuff that I do every Friday. And that’s fair. People love a freebie. There’s a whole subculture of tarot readers here on Tumblr who just do different kinds of free readings for people, often for fun.

But again, the stuff I’m actually proud of tends to get less notes than the throwaway shitposts. It’s rough. I have a feeling that all the hours I’m sinking into writing out these questions and editing the posts will go to waste.

How can we help each other in removing the external peer pressure and grow in community?

Be the change you want to see. Here on Tumblr, there’s a sort of fear surrounding judgment. In the interest of never being judged, receiving hate, or otherwise being “called out,” we avoid publishing work that’s anything close to controversial. Even if it isn’t controversy, if something isn’t being talked about, it’s scary to be the first one to break into the topic. Because what if it’s terrible to talk about?

When you see something you don’t understand or disagree with, don’t instantly jump into OP’s replies or ask box with vitriol or basic questions. Try to find resources first. Check their tags; maybe they’ve talked about that topic before and have a more basic or detailed explanation on the topic somewhere.

Unless it’s actively harmful (bigotry, appropriation, etc.), if you can’t respectfully interact with someone’s post, leave it alone. The important thing to remember is that we don’t need to (and perhaps shouldn’t) form opinions on absolutely everything we see. Some things aren’t for us, and that’s okay. I see things I disagree with and dislike all the time as I peruse the witchcraft tags. Just scroll.

The other part of this is acknowledging that some people just aren’t going to learn how to act right. They just aren’t. We, as a community, need to learn how to ignore those people. There’s an age-old adage that I think we need to bring back into the public eye: Don’t feed the trolls.

How can we, as a community, come together more with constructive criticism without it seeming shady/passive aggressive?

The absolute first step is to learn the difference between hatemail, constructive criticism, and being fucking rude. Tone can be hard for some folks, especially when written out, but it’s critical that you either learn how to decipher it or find people who can help you do so if you’re not able to do it yourself before making assumptions about someone’s meaning.

Hatemail is direct nastiness written and designed to make someone feel bad about themselves, their work, their circle, their practice, or something else. The idea is to make the receiver uncomfortable. This would include attacks on someone’s character. This category includes sending people slurs, telling people they’re stupid for believing something, demanding that someone prove their worth, and unsolicited and harsh criticisms of the work being put out.

Constructive criticism is intended to improve the content you’re seeing. That’s what makes it constructive. It’s respectful to ask the OP if they’re open to receiving constructive criticism before sending it. This category includes helpful notes on content, correcting misinformation, pointing out problems in the language used, and structure of the post in question. For example, I’ve received constructive criticism that my posts tend to be very long-winded. And, I mean, yeah — that’s a fair criticism. But I like writing long posts, so that’s unlikely to change. However, I can include shorter posts in the mix to diversify and appeal to different audiences.

The prime example of someone being plain fucking rude is adding inane, off-topic, judgy comments in a reblog of an innocuous post or send unsolicited, long-winded trauma dumps to someone’s inbox. This could also apply to giving unsolicited advice or speaking in a condescending manner. For example, assuming someone knows less than you and handing out “advice” as though it’s gospel without checking to see whether they would or wouldn’t know that information/practice differently than you. This category refers to the people who aren’t (purposely) sending hate, but their words absolutely come off that way. I find rudeness comes from a lack of self-awareness and consideration for other people. These are the folks that when you tell them to fuck off, they get very offended and don’t understand why you’re reacting badly.

The key is reading comprehension, critical thinking, and compassion. Before you send an ask, reply/reblog, or DM them, try to see where the OP is coming from. What’s their culture, what’s their background, how new are they to their path, why are they posting about the thing they’re posting, etc.? Have you read their post correctly? Are you projecting any kind of expectations or assumptions onto the OP or their post that aren’t actually being stated there?

Will what you say hurt their feelings? Has the OP stated that they’re open to feedback? If not, should you ask them first? Will the OP suffer in some way or cause harm if you don’t reach out to them about the thing you want to tell them? Are you reaching out simply to have something to say, or are you actually adding to the conversation?

If more folks come into conversations with kindness and genuine curiosity, leaving their egos, assumptions, and impulses to be “on the same level” or “better than” other practitioners aside, better interactions happen. Just… don’t be an asshole. Think before you speak. Consider the consequences of what you say before hitting send. So on and so forth.

Consider a class or guide on providing constructive criticism. Creative writing or other literary courses and guides go over this kind of thing extensively.

How can we, as a community, do better when we do receive criticism/feedback?

Remember that, in general, even unsolicited criticism is rarely about you as a person. It is sometimes, but even that can be useful. The only times I would say you ought to throw out criticism entirely is when it veers into hatemail territory. You don’t owe hateful bitches anything, least of all your time.

But in the case of actual feedback, even if it’s not worded the best or if it arrives out of the blue, it’s important to at least read it and take it into consideration.

Take a step back. Take a breath. The knee-jerk reaction to defend yourself is a powerful one. Let the sting of criticism sink in, and do whatever you need to do to soothe it.

Then, read it again. Parse what the person is actually saying. No matter how they’re saying it, what is their actual problem? Is it something you can change? Is it something you’re willing to change? Even if not, is it something you can take into account for the future?

Constructive criticism, when given and received in a positive way, can create some really beautiful moments of understanding and growth. Consider, again, a class or guide on constructive criticism. When they talk about giving it, they also talk about receiving and using it. It really is a life-changing sort of lesson.

As for dealing with hatemail, fuck ‘em. Delete that shit, block the asshole, and don’t look back.

Who are some community members I look up to that are reliable resources and aspirations?

Ohohohohoho, spotlight time!

It isn’t something I can really direct people toward, since it’s a private Discord server, but I’m part of a group of practitioners who are constantly supporting each other. We ask questions, give advice, chat about projects, and just generally lift each other up all the time. That server is, by far, the greatest resource I’ve got right now. It’s a very small community of friends whose passions are diverse and incredibly interesting. The amount of learning and collaboration that goes on… man. I really do love it. (If you’re in that server, and you read this: Hi, I appreciate you! (: )

Now, let’s tag some people (going down my following list):

@elminx — Minx is amazing. The recipe experiments, the astrology insights, the clever techniques… She’s got something for everybody.

@fernthewhimsical — Two words: rainbowmancy and hopepunk. Seriously, go to Fern’s blog and go through the witchcraft tag. So much good stuff.

@jasper-pagan-witch — Our very own TBR and Blogs Georg. I very much recommend checking out their sideblog @jasper-book-stash for brief book reviews.

@coinandcandle — Click through Coin’s pinned post for all sorts of goodies, including deep dives on deities.

@breelandwalker — Tumblr’s resident witchstorian! Check out her podcast, Hex Positive, for beginner-friendly, funny, informative content that ranges from spell techniques to the history of witchcraft.

@windvexer — Chicken answers questions of all sorts! We share the gift (curse?) of verbosity. Their answers are detailed and informative, and I aspire to that level of coherency in my rambling.

@stagkingswife — Silly! Hat! Theory! Stag’s views on spirit work literally changed my whole mind about godspousing and what makes a deity a deity. Legitimately.

@asksecularwitch — Spells Georg. THE secular witch. An icon whose gumption I respect above all others.

And… I’m so sure there are others I’m forgetting about. [gestures] All of my mutuals are lovely, follow them and throw money at their respective Ko-Fi and Patreon pages. (:

Off of Tumblr, I tend toward YouTube’s witch ecosystem. A few people I follow there are The Green Witch, the Witch of Wonderlust, Mint Faery, and Hearth Witch. Again, there are more, but these are the channels I follow most closely for their content!

Final thoughts?

This was fun to put together! I won’t directly tag anyone to respond with their own answers, because… well, this has been a beast of a project that’s taken several days to type out and more to edit. But if you’re a witchy content creator here on Tumblr, please feel free to check out the list of questions and post your own answers!

Replies, reblogs, and asks on any or all of the topics covered in this post series are very much welcome.

This is the final part of a series! Click here to view the masterpost to see all #OcculTea posts in this series. Replies, reblogs, and asks on any or all of the topics covered in this post series are very much welcome.

[longing-for-rain]

Oh my god, Sokka stans might be even dumber than Aang stans, this is just ridiculous 💀

You’re calling Zuko incompetent because of the beginning of Book 2, which was supposed to demonstrate that he and Iroh are in an unfamiliar environment they need to adjust to? Thanks for bringing up that episode because we also had this:

Who was it saying “hey maybe don’t eat strange plants because they could be poisonous?” Yep, it was Zuko. And he was correct.

Unlike Sokka, who I’m sorry, was exceedingly immature in The Desert. Without Katara they all would have died. You people will reach so hard to find some dishonest way to frame him as the mature big brother while he was doing this:

Ah yes, what a smart, mature father figure. Eating unfamiliar plants and literal rotting slime he found in a cave. Idk if this is just me because I grew up in the woods, but “don’t eat something if you don’t know what it is” is one of the first things I learned. I had that down when I was 6 and Sokka is supposed to be the adult here? It’s laughable.

And let’s not even get into his fragile masculinity complex and how many poor decisions he’s made because of that, because that could be a doctoral thesis on its own.

Oh and the “schedule?” LMAO

You mean this comically massive scroll that was only mentioned in one episode as a gimmick? That they didn’t even follow because surprise surprise… in real life things come up that you didn’t plan on?

Oh and I’m glad you also mentioned Katara’s parentification because if you pay attention to all these instances of Sokka and Aang acting like idiots, who is it that has to step up and be the responsible one to fix their messes? Who always has to be the voice of reason? Right… Katara. Of course she’s uncomfortable with that. I’d be uncomfortable as hell if I were her. But what I don’t understand is how downplaying the fact that she had to perform this role changes anything for her besides just disregarding her problems. By pointing out the fact that she’s mom friend, I’m not saying that’s a good thing. I’m actually saying the opposite. It’s frustrating watching her have to practically babysit everyone else especially when they complain that she’s too bossy, uptight, etc. You’re completely erasing that struggle by projecting her traits onto Sokka.

Also did you even pay attention to Book 3. Like at all. Sokka would have been dead or imprisoned in The Boiling Rock without Zuko. Even with all the “planning” Sokka still left out critical details like “how do we take the Warden hostage” and again would have failed without his super ninja gf.

That’s somehow more mature than Zuko’s perfectly reasonable assumption they were going to attack Ozai before the comet considering that was always their plan? Not to mention the show needing a way to up the stakes to introduce the finale for dramatic effect

Oh and let’s not forget this classic:

“Get out of the bison’s mouth, Sokka!”

What’s this, are you going to try and argue that Sokka is ACKSHUALLY the mature one here because he was “investigating a solution?” Or spin it so that Zuko is wrong for being overly rude and uptight? Please 💀

I can’t believe that a literal shitpost spawned so much brain diarrhea but I can’t believe people actually think Sokka is the most mature character in the group. It’s ridiculous. It’s an insult to Katara more than anyone else because by acting like Sokka took care of her (when it was the other way around) you completely ignore and diminish the stress that put on her.

And want to know one of the rare instances where Katara actually does get to be in a position where she’s not tasked with putting her own problems aside to help others or get them out of trouble? There is a whole episode about that called The Southern Raiders, you might be interested in it. And just wait until you find out the character who accompanies Katara the majority of the episode, you’re gonna love this…

“Dadko is out of character” Ok then explain this:

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

journey, m | ot7

full title: journey to the dick

pairing(s): ot7 x reader

summary: A Cinderella story but it's a dick pic. Yup, that's right. You find a dick pic on your phone and make it your mission to find the owner of said dick. Time to fuck the seven hottest guys you know! Onwards!

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, mentions of alcohol consumption / partying; horny crack, everyone radiates chaotic energy and wants to fuck; reader is comparing their dicks to above-mentioned dick pic so there's a lot of talk about dick, did I mention there's a lot of dick? dick; smut (fem reader, slight D/s dynamics in some scenes, m-receiving oral, cowgirl, penetrative sex, doggy, spanking, handjob, thigh fucking, dance studio sex, overstimulation, fingering, dry humping, 69, face-sitting, photography during sex, m-masturbation, being cummed on (neck / chest [a cum necklace LMAO] + hand), film studio sex, wall-fucking, being overheard / walked in on during sex (and not giving a shit, oops), implied car sex, implied threesome); non-idol!AU - ot7 x sex friend!reader; each member has their own scene

appearances based on the 'Butter' jacket photoshoots yes, the opening line is #50 of my prompt list LMAO title comes from Journey to the West, except it's dick because that's way more important. also, yeah, this is basically a harem hentai, but it's you and BTS, woohoo! :D

--

"Whose dick pic is this and why it is so inspirational?"

Park Jimin craned his head over to look at your phone, black hair brushing against your forehead. "Damn! That is an incredible dick."

"What are you guys talking about?" Kim Taehyung muttered, yanking your phone out of your hand and peering at the screen. His eyes widened, eyebrows shooting up into his dark brown hair. "Oh, ho! What a high-quality specimen of a dick."

"Why is it on my phone though?" you frowned, taking your phone back from Taehyung. You were sitting next to Jimin on their sofa, contemplating the great mysteries of the world. The black phone case had a cute mouse holding a large sewing needle and sitting next to a spool of sky-blue thread. "I didn't take this one, sadly."

"Maybe you were real drunk," Jimin offered.

"I haven't been real drunk since I projectile vomited in your guys' parking lot."

"That was last week," Taehyung reminded you, smiling amusedly.

You narrowed your eyes. "Look, it was a bad breakup."

"You went on, like, two dates," Jimin laughed, smacking you in the arm.

"It had potential!"

"Yeah, a potential dumpster fire," Taehyung added, rolling his eyes as he sat down on the other side of you. "I know you go for the quiet, nerdy ones, but you're just–"

"Brash? Forward? Ready to sit on dick at any second?"

Jimin was being very helpful.

Taehyung shoved Jimin's grinning face away. "It's a conflict of personality and yours is quite intense, so maybe you should try and be more open-minded about other options."

You frowned, not enjoying this pep talk that you probably needed. In fact, you avoided said pep talk at all costs. You reached back and yanked on Taehyung's ponytail. He prodded you in the left breast in response, glaring. You smacked his hand. He smacked your hand back.

Hey, when you don't have a good reply, resort to violence, right?

You looked back down at your phone. Swollen, red-purple, a good thickness. Nice length too, so hard it was sticking up without the assistance of a hand. You could spy the white pre-cum beading at the engorged tip. It was a strangely clear and well-composed photo. Black boxer briefs. Blue jeans, white shirt.

Fuck.

Could literally be any guy in the history of existence.

You turned the photo to Jimin. "Someone must have taken it last night when I couldn't find my phone for those two hours."

Jimin nodded. "Yeah, seems like it."

"You remember anyone in this outfit?"

Jimin snorted, wrinkling his cute nose. "Everyone was in jeans and a white t-shirt. 'Cause there was that wet t-shirt contest later that night, remember?"

You scratched your head. Ah, yes. Taehyung won. Man looked fucking amazing thanks to working out his arms and chest the past month. Was it solely for the purpose of a silly party gimmick? Maybe. You weren’t complaining though. You did what any good friend would do.

"Oh, right. Who won?"

Taehyung grabbed your shoulders and violently shook you. "I did! Obviously – ah, fuck you!" His tone quickly changed when he realized you were laughing like a maniac, doubling over in a pile of giggles with Jimin. "You're the worst," Taehyung pouted, holding his arms protectively.

"I'm just kidding, don't be mad," you chuckled, reaching over to hug him. He accepted it, but not without continuing to pout. You nuzzled his neck, placing soft kisses on his skin. "I bought you your favorite breakfast when you were hung over this morning, come on now."

His dark brown eyes shifted back and forth before letting out a long, deep sigh and hugging you back. Damn. He had a nice hug now thanks to these arms and his broad chest. He smelled like warm chamomile.

"I worked hard for these," he mumbled.

You patted him on the back before releasing him and holding up your phone. Back to the first order of business.

"Is this your dick?"

Taehyung scrunched up his face. "No? But I don't look at my dick at that angle either."

You puffed your cheeks and turned to Jimin.

"Is this your dick?"

Jimin plucked your phone from your hand. He tilted his head to one side. Then the other.

"Lemme check."

Then he stood up and started walking to the direction of the bathroom. Still holding your device.

"Uh..."

You trailed off.

Taehyung blinked.

The bathroom door closed.

Pants unzipped.

"PARK JIMIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

-

"You have to be kidding me, Jimin."

"Be reasonable. I can't get hard from this dick pic. Don't you want to know the owner of said dick?"

You pursed your lips and squinted at your phone, standing in Park Jimin's and Kim Taehyung's shared bathroom, because they were roommates and your friends. The mysterious discovery of said dick pic from last night's party sparked this Journey to the Dick, because it was a very impressive, intriguing, and, most importantly, inspirational specimen of the male genitalia. Clearly you had to investigate.

For science.

Which was why you were standing in the bathroom with Jimin's sweatpants off and begrudgingly getting to your knees. Begrudgingly, because...

"I thought we were supposed to be ordering pizza and watching Running Man."

"We are," Jimin answered cheerfully. "After you suck my dick."

You glanced at the photo once more.

It remained, indeed, very rousing of certain interests.

You gripped the waistband of Jimin's black boxer briefs.

Hmm...

Hold on.

You stood up suddenly and took your phone from him, sudden determination overtaking you.

"I have to do this correctly."

Jimin blinked rapidly, jumping with a yelp as you flung open the bathroom door to reveal Taehyung throwing himself into the wall, coughing awkwardly and hiding his face with his hands as you marched out purposefully. Jimin was still pants-less.

"In the proper order!"

Jimin and Taehyung shared a confused look.

"The hell does she mean, proper order?'

-

kim namjoon.

“Namjoon, may I look at your dick?”

Kim Namjoon looked up from his book and blinked at you over his round glasses.

“Pardon?” he replied in English.

“Your dick,” you responded in kind, in English and with succinct pronunciation. “Your penis. Your willy. Your ding-dong. Your–”

Namjoon removed a hand from his book and held it up. “My what?” he interrupted you, laughing.

Oh good, back to Korean so you didn’t have to flex all the different ways you knew how to say cock in English. “Take off your pants.”

He blinked rapidly, innocently sitting there in his flowy white button-up and brown pants. He even had suspenders. Fancy man. He had dyed his hair recently, a steel midnight blue. That’s how Namjoon was, attractive and book-smart. Absolutely won the lottery when it came to genes and brains. You couldn’t see the title of the book he was reading, but it was probably a self-help or philosophy book. He was into those nowadays, exploring the human mind, while you were more into exploring the physical aspects of humanity.

Fucking.

Luckily, fucking didn’t usually require reading.

(Usually, heh.)

“I have no objections to your proposition. I’m just confused on why so suddenly.”

You dropped your canvas tote bag on the ground. Your red, short summer dress covered in yellow lemons flared out as you shifted your weight to one hip. Your phone was in one of your hands and you waved it around like a baton as you talked.

“Aren’t I usually sudden when I want to fuck?”

Namjoon chuckled, rich and deep, shutting his book and putting it aside. Probably memorized his page number. Big sexy brain and all that jazz. A fantastic characteristic of his.

He also had a big sexy dick you were asking to see right now.

“You are, but sometimes you offer to buy me a meal or a snack first.”

“I mean, sure, if you want–”

He lifted a hand and cocked a finger towards himself, smiling. When he smiled, his dimples appeared. That was your favorite feature on Namjoon. You bounced over excitedly and sat on the couch, skirt flipping up and exposing your thighs, still holding your phone.

“I’m on a mission.”

He quirked an eyebrow, adjusting his glasses detective-style. “What kind of mission?”

You pointed to your phone. “Do you remember that party we went to, the one with the wet t-shirt contest?” You lifted your arm and flexed your rather defined bicep that made Namjoon raise his eyebrows and mouth a wow under his breath. Consistent handys really did the trick when it came to bicep muscle definition. “You remember, right? You showed off your guns.”

He burst out laughing, waving a hand. “They are not guns.”

“Sure, they are. I could do a lot of social justice with your biceps, Namjoon.”

He shook his head, grinning, dimples on full display. “And what’s with the dress? You don’t usually wear such a cute style.”

You ticked your phone to the apartment front door. “I’m meeting Seokjin later, but he said he’s going to play another round of bowling because Jungkook kicked his ass again. But anyway, back to what I was saying…”

“Ah, yes. I think I remember Jimin mentioning something to me now.”

You brightened, unlocking your phone and holding up the screen. “Right! I’m looking for the owner of this dick.”

His eyes widened and Namjoon leaned forward, readjusting his glasses again. “Wow. That’s quite a clear picture.” Then he coughed and averted his eyes.

You nodded quickly. “Well? Did you take this picture?”

He frowned and sat back against the sofa, sucking in a breath and ticking his head. “Mmm, maybe? I was pretty drunk. I don’t remember what I did…”

“Hah… Does this look like your dick, then?”

“How would I know?” he chuckled. “I don’t see my dick from that angle and I don’t have sober photoshoots with my dick.”

You pursed your lips. “Well, I suppose we’ll just have to fuck then. Drop the pants.”

The thing about Namjoon was that he was a very reasonable man. You had a problem and proposed a solution and he, an avid learner who liked searching for answers to the great mysteries of this world, had the means to help you out on your quest, so he did. In addition, he thought you were hot, you thought he was hot, and you’d already fucked a couple times before Journey to the Dick, so the mutual agreement was already there.

Splendid!

The other thing about Namjoon was that he really liked to make you work for it.

Slightly less splendid.

“Are you choking?”

You squinted at him and flipped him the bird. He was well-versed with popular Western hand gestures.

Namjoon nodded sagely. “That’s good.”

And he put his hand back onto the back of your head and shoved your mouth down onto his cock once more.

You had half a second to breathe again before air was forcefully taken from you, Namjoon now holding you there, nose-first into his crotch, sighing contentedly as he expanded in your mouth. You planted your hands onto his strong thighs and pushed, but his hand didn’t budge. The safe signal was three taps and you weren’t tapping out yet. You glared and Namjoon closed his eyes, smirking slowly.

He left his round glasses on.

‘Course he did.

Damn you, Namjoon!

You reached up and pawed at the buttons of his white shirt, making Namjoon open his eyes to see what you were doing as you unbuttoned them rather deftly for someone who had his dick filling up their throat. He looked down at you, cocking an eyebrow. You cheekily cocked one back, poking his pecs with your pinky.

He grinned. “Hm? What’s that?”

You clenched your throat around the head of his cock and he gasped, losing grip for a split second.

In that split second, you threw his shirt open, glorious his tan skin and large muscular pecs now in view, and slapped your hands down onto his thighs, instantly starting a fast, rough pace, curving your neck with every swallow, sandwiching his cock between tongue and top of your mouth, pulsing your wet muscles all over his length, staring at that well-built chest, watching the muscles ripple with his sudden, abrupt inhale.

“Oh, fuck!”

Sometimes you let Namjoon have the reigns, but this time you were on a mission, although it was a little distracting now because presently you had an unobstructed view of Kim Namjoon with his shirt open, head thrown back, midnight blue hair fanning over the sofa, his full lips open and panting, tendons in his neck tensing, broad shoulders flexed, leading down his defined chest and abs, core tight from your intense pace, thighs hard under your hands, cock swollen and thick, pulsating in your mouth. His large hands planted on top of yours, squeezing them with his.

The three taps applied to him too.

Instead, Namjoon moaned your name and gripped your hands.

“T-The picture… f-fuuuuuuuck…”

Shit, that’s right.

You reluctantly slowed, tongue swiping all over the underside of his dick, tracing the veins, moaning hotly around his cock. He lowered his chin, panting hard, dark brown eyes half-open and framed by his lovely silver glasses. It was him who reached for your phone and unlocked it. He remembered your pattern lock and you had only told him once. All your consistent fucks knew how to unlock your phone.

That’s how you had so many pictures of, ahem, good times.

He placed the phone on his hip and his head fell back against the sofa, inhaling deeply as you continued lapping at the base of the head, slowly sucking on it at the same time to keep him hard.

“Mmm, fuck, that’s nice…”

You mashed the tip of your tongue against the slit and coated it with pre-cum.

“Ah, come on, look already and compare,” Namjoon chuckled in his deep voice, raising a hand to pet your head. “Then you can finish me.”

You popped your mouth off reluctantly. “Hmm.” You placed a few fingers on his cock and looked at it, positioning it to the correct angle that matched the photo. “Huh, it’s pretty close. But you have this noticeable vein here, and I think the head of your cock is slightly different…” You squinted and brought your face rather close to his stiff length. “The skin tone seems right, but it’s not exact, and I think you’re bigger…”

Namjoon wrapped his hand around his dick and smacked your cheek with the head.

“Oi!”

You puffed your cheeks, strings of saliva and pre-cum covering your face.

He grinned, dimples on full display. “Oops.”

You jabbed your finger at your phone. “I’m doing an investigation here!”

He shrugged cheekily. “You said it wasn’t exact. Get up.”

You put your phone on top of his book on the side table and glared at him. “Well, yeah, but no need to bop me,” you grumbled, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand, standing up, and removing your panties as Namjoon reached over to his pants and pulled out a condom from the pocket.

You did say you were coming. Namjoon liked to be prepared for you.

“You said you liked it,” he mused as you straddled his lap.

“I do when I’m notin the middle of an important mission,” you huffed, picking up the hem of your dress and revealing your wet pussy, chin cocked in defiance.

“You don’t have to sit on my dick then,” he said, pausing with the condom right over his cock.

You frowned. “Hurry up.”

He cocked an eyebrow, dark brown eyes trapping you in his allure. “Doesn’t seem like you want it.”

You narrowed your eyes.

Growled.

Then you smacked his hands away and rolled down the condom yourself before sliding onto him with one swift motion, clenching your jaw at the sensation of being quickly and solidly filled up, not giving him or you time to adjust. Namjoon tensed his neck, grinning, large hands coming up to firmly grip your hips. Your own came up to grab his biceps and squeeze them, mustering up your most indignant scowl. He chuckled, smirking as you pulsed your walls around him.

“Hold your dress so I can fuck you.”

“Maybe I want to do the moving.”

He clicked his tongue and rammed his hips up into you, making you hiss at the feeling of his cock being driven into your tightness. Your nails dug into his arms, breaths shallowing into rapid gasps as he continued, firmly and roughly fucking you from below, hard thighs flexing and smacking into your inner thighs and ass.

“Hold your dress,” he repeated, voice low and commanding.

“You’re so bossy,” you muttered, reaching down with one hand to yank up your dress, pulling it up high so both you and Namjoon could watch as he very deliberately and very forcefully thrust upwards into your tight hole, smirking wider as he witnessed your expression and the strain of keeping the pleasure off your face.

“Don’t have to give orders if…” He jerked up particularly hard, hitting your sweet spot, causing you to gasp breathlessly. “You…” Smack! You bit you lip, moan trapped in your chest. “Just…” Smack!

“F-Fuck…”

“Listen.”

And then Namjoon seized your hips and fucked you hard and fast with you barely holding on his shoulder with one hand and the other clutching your dress, moaning his name shamelessly to his own face. Namjoon wasn’t a gloater. His face was serious and concentrated, brows furrowed and intent on giving maximum pleasure, maintaining clear control as you rapidly lost it, allowing and trusting him to lead you into carnal desires.

You leaned forward, hot exhale on his neck, changing the angle and letting him hit you deeper, tightening around him. You heard his breath hitch, hissing out your name. Your whispered against his jaw, close to his ear.

“You like it better when I don’t listen, Namjoon.”

So close, so close, so close.

He snickered, dark, devious, sensual.

“I dolove punishing you with my cock.”

You slid your hand into his midnight blue hair and shuddered, pleasure blooming from your core in heated throbs, savoring the intensity of the orgasm he gave you as Namjoon groaned in your ear, slamming you down onto his hard, twitching cock and moaning, spilling his own into the condom, thoroughly enjoying the vicious massage of your spasming pussy. You pressed your lips to his temple, flinching with the shivers that came after, riding out the peak by rocking your hips lightly, enjoying the fullness he gave you.

“Doesn’t seem like a punishment. I’m having a lot of fun,” you taunted, panting and mirthful.

He gave your ass a playful smack and you squeezed his length from top to bottom.

“We have time for round two,” he murmured, nibbling on your ear.

Kim Namjoon was a very reasonable man.

-

kim seokjin.

"Gah, fuck!"

"As a matter of fact, yes, let's."

Kim Seokjin nearly tripped and fell against the doorframe, gawking at you. His expressive brown eyes went wide, mouth open enough for a nice ice lolly to be placed between those plump lips.

"Why are you in my bed? Where are your clothes? Why are you holding Pink Bean like that?!"

You sighed exaggeratedly. Here we go. "I had a nice dress but Namjoon took it and said I can't have it back until after." You squeezed Seokjin's large Pink Bean plush that he usually kept on his bed, a fluffy representation of a boss from his favorite PC game, MapleStory. It had a bubblegum pink head, light purple horns, and a cute :3 face. You squashed it with your breasts and looked up at him, on your knees with your feet tucked under your ass, missing all your articles of clothing thanks to Kim Namjoon.

Such cute clothes only for him? I don’t think so.

Seokjin turned bright red, sputtering.

"D-D-Don't do that to Pink Bean!"

"Why not? You've fucked me from behind and I used Pink Bean as my chest support."

He strode across the room with two steps, his long legs making it easy, looking handsome and summery in his pastel yellow shirt and shorts two-piece set, flapping his hands helplessly.

"That was a special case!"

You started bouncing on Pink Bean, you and your tits. Seokjin's brown eyes nearly bulged out of his head and he actually tripped at the end of his bed, falling face-first with a high-pitched yelp.

"Seokjin, I need to see your dick."

He yanked his head up, chestnut brown hair flying everywhere, shooting you a confused glare.

"Yah! You can't just show up naked and start demanding dick while abusing Pink Bean!"

You reached up and scooped your breasts forward, squashing them between the purple horns, nipples poking out above Pink Bean's head. Seokjin looked like he was about to pass out. Probably from loss of blood to his head.

You balanced your phone in your cleavage, inspirational dick pic between your tits.

"Is this your dick, Seokjinnie?" you asked sweetly.

He started, squinting at the screen between your tits. "The heck? What is that?"

"A dick. Is it yours?"

Seokjin made a disgusted face.

"Are they really that ugly? Mine sure as hell isn't."

"Oh, so it's not? You know for sure?"

Seokjin scoffed. "Come on, there's no way that could be mine, look–"

And he sat up and yanked his shorts and underwear off, slapping them down on the floor and spreading his legs, presenting his very hard and quite pretty dick and balls. He huffed triumphantly, planting his hands in his hips.

"How could that thing compare to–gah!"

You crawled over Pink Bean, shoving the plush against your stomach and placing yourself between Seokjin's long legs, oblivious to his shriek of surprise, holding up his shirt as you compared his cock to the one on your phone.

"What the–where did you g-get that picture?!"

Your hot breath wafted over his twitching length as you held it delicately with your fingertips, ass up in the air, tilting his dick to adjust the angle so he mirrored the photo. "Remember that party with the wet t-shirt contest?” you explained nonchalantly. “The one where I said you'd totally win because of your broad shoulders, but Taehyung got more votes because he had been working out and looking all buff recently?"

Seokjin was gasping as you held up your phone. Hmm, not the same thickness. Plus, he seemed harder, sticking out straighter than this photo dick. But there was a small mole in his dick that seemed to match the picture. The length is pretty spot-on too. You scooted closer, cradling his cock with your palm and coaxing it with your fingertips, ass bouncing on Pink Bean's head.

"Oh, fuck..."

"Anyway, someone snapped this photo and I've been trying to figure out who, but everyone was drunk and, if I recall correctly, you were on a table dancing with a pool noodle and belting Kim Yonja's 'Amor Fati', so I don't think you remember much from that night."

Seokjin's voice was pitched, strained from holding back.

"I remember those... oh, fuck... those shorts you were wearing... ah, with your ass hanging out on the bottom... fuck, wanted to bend you over... but yeah, after that..."

Then you yelped when you felt his hands on your head dragging you forward and pressing your open lips to his cock.

"Ah, yeees..."

"Seokjin, wait–mphf!"

He shoved the head of his cock into your lips and looked down. You narrowed your eyes as he began to gently hump your face, filling your mouth with the hardness. You sucked in your cheeks a little, molding your mouth to him, still giving him your best annoyed face.

"Is it my dick?" he gasped, pushing deeper.

You made a confused noise and Seokjin frowned at you.

"Yes or no?"

Seriously? You held up your hand and hovered it in the air, wiggling your fingers up and down, the universal sign of–

"What do you mean, maybe?! Oh, it's because a phone camera isn't good enough to catch the majesty of my cock, is that it?"

You could had been annoyed, but then you thought about it. He brought up a good point. You hadn't considered that. Still, the shape wasn't exact though. A phone camera couldn't alter dick angle, right?

No time to think about it because Seokjin rammed his entire length into your mouth and down your throat in your moment of contemplation.

"Mmmphf!"

"Just, ah, don't move, let me fuck your face real quick–"

You didn't really expect anything less, so you pushed him down, sliding his shirt up his torso, changing the angle so you weren't straining your neck. Seokjin fell onto his elbows, hands letting go but hips still moving, groaning as you enclosed your mouth around him and rubbed your tongue all over.

"Ah, your ass is so sexy, damn, bounce it for me..."

He seemed to forget that in order to do that, you had to hump Pink Bean like a dog in heat but, hey, when the man who called himself World Wide Handsome (drunk and sober, that was the kind of man Kim Seokjin was) asks you to twerk for him, you do as you are told and give Pink Bean the best hump that plush is ever going to have.

"Fuuuuuuuck, yes, your ass is so perky and juicy, fuck, like a sweet peach..."

You tried not to choke with laughter in his dick, but the action made your throat muscles squeeze and spasm around the head, immediately making it jerk and swell at the added simulation, causing Seokjin to gasp your name and fiercely clutch his sheets.

"Fuck, yes...!"

You looked up, cocking an eyebrow, seeing his brown hair messy and fallen over his forehead, eyelids fluttering, panting as you took over the pace, firmly enveloping him all the way to the base, sandwiching him between your tongue and roof of your mouth, dragging the head over the slick wetness, pulsing expertly around his hardness. His dainty pink tongue flitted over his lips and made them glisten, full, plump, sexy as hell.

"I'm so glad Namjoon took your clothes," he wheezed.

This guy really said whatever thought that popped into his handsome head.

You smirked around his cock and wiggled your eyebrows.

Then you grabbed his hips and really gave it to him, fast and tight, angling your head so he slid into your throat deeply and easily, sending Seokjin into a sputter of curses, prayers, and blessings to who-knew-what, gripping fistfuls of his sheets and throwing his head back, beautiful neck on display and broad shoulders flexed, moaning loudly.

You almost stopped, awed by his perfectly sensual posture.

Then Seokjin thrust his crotch into your lips and gasped your name, shooting down your throat in swift, tense jolts, forcing you to stop staring at him and hurriedly gulp it all down, squeezing your eyes shut so you could concentrate, sucking in a short breath, and making him yelp, flinching to cram more of the head into your constricting throat.

You prodded his stomach sharply and drew an ‘X’, telling him to stop so you could swallow.

“B-But…”

You gave him a bunch of other hand gestures and none of them were nice. It contrasted the way you were lapping at his cock, coaxing him back to full hardness with soft tongue and delicate pushes against the roof of your mouth. He lifted one of his hands and started messing with yours, the one on his stomach making obscene hand signals. You felt him try and grab your fingers, poke at your palm, and, finally, grab your hand and tug it up, shoving your fingers into his mouth.

You popped your mouth off his cock in surprise. “Hey!”

Seokjin looked at you with giant brown eyes like a dog caught with a treat in his mouth. “Mmphf?”

You made a confused face at him.

His tongue started sliding between them, licking your joints and pads of your fingers, wiggling all around, covering you with his saliva and sending shivers over your skin at the strange sensation. You could feel the power in that squirming muscle, his brown eyes watching your reaction, your own eyes fixated on the way it looked, three of your fingers surrounded and crammed into those lush, soft, pillow-like lips, squirming, sensual tongue slipping between them, dripping saliva down your palm and back of your hand.

“H-Hey…”

It was bizarre, feeling an odd juxtaposition of the submissive nature of the act, and yet he was deliberate and forceful about it, staring pointedly as the tip of his tongue snaked out from the side of his lips, licking the side of your pinky.

“S… Seokjin…?”

He reached up and pulled your hand out of his mouth, the pads of your fingers dragging on his lower lip, wet streaks of saliva painted down his chin.

The ghost of a smirk on his open mouth, eyebrow ticking arrogantly.

You blinked at him, unaware that you were clutching Pink Bean with your other hand so hard that your knuckles were white.

Then Seokjin grinned and wrapped your wet hand around his dick and started jacking himself off with it.

“Hey! I want that in me!”

“What? Gah!”

Somehow, you convinced him to fuck you – read: threw Seokjin down on his own bed, put a condom on him, rolled him back on top of you and guided his cock to your pussy before grabbing his ass and yanking down, making you both gasp as he entered you with one smooth stroke, your back on top of Pink Bean.

Pink Bean was really seeing a lot of your naked body today, just like Kim Seokjin.

“F-Fuck– yah!”

That was his noise of protest as you yanked his yellow shirt over his head, throwing it as far as you could, out his still open bedroom door.

“Sorry, needed to get rid of useless things.”

“I like that shirt!”

You grabbed onto his wide shoulders and rolled your hips up into his crotch, wrapping your thighs around his waist and squeezing. He sputtered at the intense feeling of your pussy wrapping around him, arms shaking to hold himself up, brown hair messy and wild over his forehead, brown eyes wide in indignation.

“Sorry, my bad, I’ll pick it up after I get another out of this magnificent dick,” you quipped.

Seokjin turned red, unaccustomed to someone other than himself complimenting him.

“Why are you hanging onto me like a monkey – oh my God…!”

You used his mattress and Pink Bean to bounce up and down on his dick from below, fingers tangled in his hair, wetly smacking your hips into his crotch, panting his name into his ear, your cock feels so fucking good, love the way you fill me, fuck me up, Seokjin, giving him the praise that he wanted and that breathless moan he liked, the one where you added a bit of underlying mischievous depth, pulling back one of your hands and tracing his plush lips, his mouth opening and pink tongue lolling out, puling you into that wetness, locking his gaze with yours.

Soft and tight around two of your fingers as you slapped your hips into his, losing a bit of your power now that a hand was occupied, intense sparks shooting from your fingertips to your core, his tongue sliding sensually between them, your juices leaking out, getting wetter and wetter, head emptying and replaced with sinful pleasure as you stared into those dark brown orbs with blown-out pupils, sparkling eyes smiling at you.

Seokjin took over and started fucking you into his mattress (and Pink Bean).

Both of you completely forgot about the dick pic.

-

min yoongi.

"Ah, fuck, I forgot, I need to see your dick, f-fuck!"

"It's," Smack! "A," Smack! "Little," Smack! "Busy at the moment."

"Yoongi!"

The bed shifted and hit the wall.

"Oh no," came the most unbothered oh no behind you.

"Your damn neighbors are going to complain again," you hissed, planting your hands on the mattress and lifting your upper body up a little to scowl at him. "They're so annoying."

"Yeah, that's why I like fucking you," Min Yoongi snickered, looking back with his curly black mullet in complete disarray, smirking lips dark and swollen from making out. He raised an eyebrow at your displeased expression, dark brown eyes flashing. "Something wrong? Not rough enough for you?"

You narrowed your eyes. "I need to see your dick when it's fully hard."

He raised his eyebrows. "Sure. After this one."

"Yoongi–"

He cut you off. "Hand," he ordered.

You extended your left hand out back to him and he grabbed your forearm, long fingers gripping tightly, before proceeding his railing of your pussy from behind, your ass smacking into his crotch repeatedly.

"Yoongi – ah, oof!"

You slipped and fell face first into his pillows, gasping at the altered depth of each thrust, hard and deliberate, filling you up as you clenched around him, following his rhythm by pushing back with your hips and moaning as Yoongi slowly built up the pace, bottoming out each time.

"Why do you need to see my dick?" he asked nonchalantly as if he wasn't pounding you with it right this very second.

"Because, oh fuck, someone left a, fuck, Yoongi, yes, dick pic on my phone, aaah, right there, fuck, you're so fucking good, that night of the party, the one with the wet t-shirt c-contest, fuck, Yoongi, I love your dick so much, fuck!"

"Why would I do that?" he grunted, spanking your ass with his free hand and making you claw at his sheets, pain seeping into the pleasure and amplifying it, skin prickling hot, causing the excessive dripping between your joined legs. The headboard was now repeatedly smacking the wall.

"I dunno, you were drunk too, do you remember, mmm, yes, harder, yeah, like that, telling Taehyung you loved him and that he was your favorite little alien child?"

Behind you, you heard Yoongi choke slightly in embarrassment.

"No, I do not..."

"See, maybe you jacked off and snapped a memoir on my phone."

Yoongi let go of your arm and firmly gripped your ass with two hands.

"Memoirs are written."

"Maybe if they wrote their name, I wouldn't be on this journey – ah, Yoongi!"

You grabbed fistful of sheets and snapped yourself back up, your hair messy and cascading down your shoulders, meeting every vicious slap of Yoongi's hips to yours, his balls hitting your soaked clit and sending stings of satisfaction from your core to your limbs, so good, moaning his name, his growl of yours punctuated by his nails digging into your ass, give it to me, come on, and you fucked him back, pressing your palms into his sheets and feeling the shuddering ecstasy again and again, deep pulses tightening around his hardness, making him groan with want.

"One more, one more, I'm so fucking close, fuck..."

"You've been close, you're holding back, you're a dick, ow!"

Yoongi smacked your ass particularly hard and you clenched your core so tight that he gasped and probably delayed his orgasm even further.

"You're the one asking to see it," he panted, adjusting the angle to shove you further into his bed even though it wasn't possible, and continued his relentless assault in your pussy.

"If anyone has a nice dick, it's you, you bas... fuuuuuuuck, Yoongi, yes, I'm gonna c-cum, fuck!"

The pleasure shot through you like lightning, waves of tortuous triumph as you clutched his pillow and screamed his name into it, your juices leaking out from around his pumping cock and splattering onto his crotch and inner thighs, drenching his balls, saturating his skin with your sweet scent, Yoongi moaning your name and squeezing your ass as he fully sheathed himself in your shaking walls and exploded into the condom, his whole length twitching and shivering inside your spasming pussy, your ass prickling on pain, both of you gasping for air.

Someone on the other side of the wall was banging it and told you two to shut the fuck up, or at least you assumed that's what that muffled yelling was.

You and Yoongi ignored it.

"Are you... hah... okay?" Yoongi panted, rubbing your ass and kneading it.

"Of course, I am, what do you take me for, an amateur?" you chuckled, lifting your head, your breathing erratic and uneven. "Now let me see your dick, Yoongi."

The other side of the wall kept swearing. Very colorful, very loud, very upsetti in the spaghetti.

Poor thing must not be getting laid regularly.

"Fuck, fine, you know I like staying in there at least for a little while..." he grumbled, holding the condom down as you untangled yourself from his body, sighing exaggeratedly as you turned around and yanked it off. You tossed it into the trashcan that was already beside the bed.

Yoongi had the foresight to be prepared for a night with you.

"I don't have to leave soon. We have plenty of time."

The shouting through the wall seemed to have given up, kicking it once and swearing very heatedly before stomping off.

"You better not. I'm not finished with you."

You picked up your phone and unlocked it, opening your photo gallery, pushing Yoongi down so you could wrap your fingers around his slick, semi-hard cock. It throbbed contentedly in your hand as you began to move it up and down in smooth, tight strokes, flexing your fingers to add variation in the stimulation.

"Mmm, fuck, yeah, faster..."

You pulled the photo up and put your phone on the bed beside his hip and calmly continued your movements, looking down at him, him and fair-skinned cheeks with a slight fluffiness to them, him and his lightly upturned upper lip that gave him a cat-like appearance, him and his lowered lashes over black-brown orbs that held quiet, sensual intelligence. His hair was messy from fucking you so hard, but he was effortlessly sexy regardless, leaning back on his elbows, torso lifted to watch your hand. Yoongi noticed you staring and raised an eyebrow, wispy black strands grazing his dark brow.

“What?”

You smiled.

“Just thinking you’re really hot, Yoongi.”

He cringed slightly, ears turning pink and shifted his eyes away, closing them. Your own roamed down, down his defined shoulders and toned arms and chest, sucking in a breath at the sight, that slim waist and pretty hips, his cock filling up your hand, getting harder and harder, the head getting darker from sensitivity, the slickness of the lube and his own cum making it easier for you and better for him. Your other hand traced his side, running your nails over it and you heard his low moan, raising your head and your eyes found his. He was observing you again, glancing from the photo to you, the corner of his lips tugging upwards, ticking his head to the screen.

“That it?”

You ran your nails over his skin, just the way he liked it, light, pressing in a little when it came to the upper side of his hip, seeing his pupils expand and his breathing shallow, pink tongue licking his lips slowly.

“Yeah,” you replied breathlessly.

You increased the pace, pumping him from base to head, entranced by Yoongi’s expression, desire and cockiness despite becoming unraveled in your hands, his lower body trembling under you, your thighs pressed to his tense ones, tempting you to sit on and rub yourself all over them.

“Pretty dick.”

Slap, slap, slap. Hand on wet cock, sending shivers through you and through him.

“That’s why it could be yours.”

You saw his cheeks flush light pink, but he didn’t look away. Instead, he made piercing eye contact.

“Stop.”

You gasped sharply and ceased all movement, feeling his rigid stiffness pulse against your palm.

“Look,” Yoongi commanded in that low, raspy voice of his.

You bit your lip and removed your hand, strings of fluids snapping between your fingers and his hot, taut skin. His cock was so hard that it was sticking straight up, dark and imposing, twitching slightly. Long pale fingers picked up your phone and held it next to his erection.

“Well?” he chuckled.

You chewed on your lip, squinting at the screen. Reached over and ran your wet fingers over his twitching length, hearing Yoongi hiss and gasp at your touch as you angled his dick to match up with the photo. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that difficult – the position seemed to match up perfectly. He was a little taller and thicker though. The shape of the head was similar, but also a bit off. The skin tone wasn’t quite correct either, the red-purple with subtly differing undertones. Still, lighting might affect that kind of detail. It wasn’t like you knew where this picture was taken.

“Hm… It’s really close, but not an exact match.”

“Well, damn.”

Yoongi tossed your phone aside carelessly, hand reaching out and you bent down, already knowing what he wanted, lips to lips, sliding against his body. You loved the way he kissed. Intense but soft, hand on your jaw and thumb caressing your cheek, nail grazing your earlobe, whispering into your lips, put me between your thighs, and you shifting up, closing your thighs around his wet cock, his lustful sigh and smirk on your lips, slowly thrusting in between your legs.

“Tighter.”

You hooked your ankles, one over the another and squeezed.

“Mmm, fuck yes, you’re so good…”

His words reminded you of the first time, crammed into the backseat of a small car, snuck out of a party to have Min Yoongi pull you into his grasp, tongue and lips all over you, your arms over his shoulders, wondering what you were doing because this kind of guy wasn’t your type, quiet, yes, a music nerd, yes, however he knew what he was doing, light bites on you skin making you gasp and slide down his jean-covered thigh, delicious friction to your soaked panties, tipping your head back to give that decadent mouth more access to your throat.

Your phone vibrated in your back pocket. A certain someone was probably wondering where you were.

“Yoongi, how… fuck, yes, how are you so good… you’re so good…”

His deep voice over your vocal cords, vibrating them with his seductive tone.

“DND your phone,” he purred, drawing a line down your throat with his tongue, coating you with his saliva, his musky, woody cologne transferring to your shivering skin.

“What…?” you panted, unable to think straight.

He plucked it out of your back pocket, tapping it against your arm.

“Put it on do not disturb and I’ll make you cum so hard that you’ll be coming back to me all the time.”

You fumbled with your phone, strong hands scooping out your breasts from your top, those lips sinking into your cleavage and tongue ghosting over your nipples, moaning as you dropped it, ignoring Park Jimin’s text, lost in those skillful hands and that expert mouth that eventually kissed down to your pussy and drove you crazy, but not before setting your skin on fire and making you beg for it.

“Yoongi…”

His lips on yours, his eyes and your eyes both half-open, marveling at the way his lashes adorned those black brown orbs and the way he looked at you, drunk on lust and your body.

“You want me?”

Hands on your hips, grinding you down on his thigh, teasing you. He wasn’t your type, he wasn’t your type, he wasn’t your type… so why, why did that sly, knowing gaze do things to you? Why did it make your heartbeat stutter and your juices seep into the denim of his jeans, so turned on that you didn’t want anything else right now but Min Yoongi?

It just didn’t make any sense.

“Y… Yeah…”

That smirk.

“I know you do.”

You did end up coming back all the time.

He was very good and it wasn’t just his mouth.

Yoongi backed up and smirked, open-mouthed, mischievous, so fucking hot that you felt your pussy throb at the mere sight, his warm, pulsing length still jammed between your soft, closed thighs.

“You wanna ride my dick?”

You grinned. “Thought you’d never ask.”

You completely forgot about the photo and spent the rest of the night on Yoongi’s cock and ignoring the yelling from his neighbors.

-

jung hoseok.

“Hoseokie…”

Teeth on your ear, a dexterous, teasing tongue flicking your earrings, your name coming out of that heart-shaped smile in a low, sultry whisper that contrasted it.

“You can’t come here looking like this and not expect me to want to ruin you,” Jung Hoseok purred into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

Your lips curved into a smile.

You were on your knees, spread out a little, short black minidress hiked up your thighs, facing the mirrors of the dance studio. Hoseok knelt behind you, hands travelling all over your body. Deft fingers, neatly manicured nails, his sharp jaw grazing your shoulder, pulling down the thin straps. Your large hoodie was tossed to the side, scattered onto the hardwood floor in haste. The frosted door of Smile Hoya’s rented dance studio space was locked, hip-hop music blaring loudly, and in the center was you and Hoseok.

You knew he could hear your shuddering exhale well, already attuned to the sounds of your pleasure.

He smirked and kissed the top of your ear, yanking down the top of your dress.

It wasn’t like this the first time.

“Ah, well, I was hoping… wondering, ah… I don’t know how to say…?”

You were in his bedroom at the time, confused. “Yoongi said you wanted to talk to me about something? What is it, Hoseok?”

He had been very nervous, somewhat shaky, staring into your eyes. You reached over and squeezed his hand, tilting your head. He took a moment to speak, hiding his brown eyes under his blond hair.

“Uh, well, I was talking to hyung and I mentioned I… I feel like I have to put up a front sometimes. Because I’m so happy and stuff. Women expect me to be like that… in bed… And he suggested that maybe you could help me… chill out, but, uh, that’s really rude to say, ah, I shouldn’t have–”

He tried to yank his hand out of yours in panic but you held on, tugged forward by his movement. Hoseok squeaked, ears turning red, freezing in place.

“Hey.”

You held his hand and patted it with your free one, smiling gently.

“I absolutely can help you chill out when it comes to sex. What do you want to know? What do you want to do? I’ll teach you.”

You noticed his expression change from panic to worry, chewing on his lip.

“N… No, you misunderstand… It’s not having sex, I…”

He trailed off, suddenly silent. You frowned slightly, nudging him. Hoseok cleared his throat and looked you dead in the eye.

“I’m not nice.”

Now he squeezed your hand tightly, breathing in your scent.

“Or rather, I don’t want to be nice when I fuck. Sometimes I want to let go and just…” He frowned, not seeming to know the word.

You leaned in, whispering in his ear.

“Fuck?”

“Yeah, I just… don’t want to think about an image I have to uphold.”

You grinned. “Yoongi did direct you to the right woman.”

His blond hair was even lighter now, the tips dyed with navy, a soft, sexy contrast to his rich tan skin. This was now many, many fucks later, hooking up at parties, at random times at his apartment, and now at the space he rented to practice dance on his own. Hoseok liked to freestyle and feel the music. When he fucked, he liked to feel the moment.

His hands gripped your breasts and squeezed, sandwiching your nipples between his index and middle finger, tugging hard.

You gasped in his hands, just what he wanted, open-mouthed smirk and all.

“Hoseok… I have to… ah, ask you something…”

He shoved his hips into your back and you gasped at the thinness of his shorts, rubbing his hardening cock against the top of your ass. A brown orb watched you through the mirror and he was smiling that brilliant, heart-shaped smile, contrasting his forceful touch.

“What do you want to ask?” he chirped cheerfully, pinching your nipples and twisting them.

You moaned, savoring the swift, firm pain followed by the pads of his fingers rubbing the tips of your nipples, grinding your ass onto his stiff length. Your phone was in your right hand. You bit your lip, seeing him watch you carefully in the mirror. You raised the phone and unlocked it.

“Is this your dick?”

You noticed Hoseok pause and squint. You turned your phone and held at up so he could get a good look. His hands were still on your tits, although he had paused the moment to view the image, blinking rapidly at it.

“When was this taken?” He tilted his head, looking confused.

“The party with the wet t-shirt contest? The–”

“One where Yoongi grabbed Taehyung and told him he was his favorite alien child?”

“Oh? You do remember?”

Hoseok winced, as if the events of the night haunted him. “I remember… not much after that…”

“Oh…” You faltered. “So you wouldn’t remember if you took this picture on my phone, huh?”

“No, sorry.”

“Then… can I see it?”

He grinned. “You have to earn it.”

Earning it could mean anything.

Today, earning it meant cumming at least three times with Hoseok’s fingers before he even let you take off his shorts.

“H-Hoseok…!”

He always smelled so good, so fucking good, orange and musk complemented with the barely-there vanilla sweetness, a scent that always seemed to linger on your skin afterward. His lips were on your neck, leaving small bites, chuckling darkly. One hand on your nipple, the other between your legs, your dress bunched at the waist and your panties at your knees, not letting you take any of it off, forcing you to watch yourself as he wrecked you, teasing your oversensitive clit with his fingertips, slick and slippery, thighs shaking from the second orgasm and coaxing you to the third, sharp throbs of lust causing your eyes to roll back, head falling against his shoulder.

“Hoseok, p-please…”

He had no trouble holding onto you, flexible and strong, and you were grinding your hips down, lost in the feeling, leaking everywhere because he hadn’t actually put his fingers inside you yet, teasing you and teasing you and teasing you, driving you crazy, please put your fingers inside me, please Hoseok, your name murmured gently in your ear, no, not until the third time, and then I’m going to put my cock in you once you’ve shown me how good of a girl you are, and you were going to lose your mind, shivering in continued ecstasy, squirming in his hands, your own reaching back and fisting his hair and white shirt, moans masked by the loud music, so close, so close, your perfume mixing with his, sex and cologne, shivers and heat, teeth on your ear and circles rubbed onto your aching nerves.

Shallow gasps.

Peaking pleasure.

Seeing nothing but black, eyelids fluttering, wanton moans torn from your throat.

The song ended.

Hoseok removed his hand from your nipple and covered your mouth, muffling your scream as you came, taking your air and your sanity, pleasure rocketing up your core, crying out with need for something, anything, inside you, pushing your hips back into his crotch, feeling his cock swell at your bouncing ass, desperate for him.

The music began again.

Now you were on your hands and knees, suddenly released, gasping for breath, legs shaking from the aftershocks.

“Look.”

Turning around, your shaking hands pulling down his shorts hurriedly, still wearing your black dress and panties around your knees, hardly registering the inconvenience, not caring, completely focused on the semi-hard length in front of your face. No time. Hoseok gave you no time, grabbing your face and dragging your open mouth to him, sliding into your lips, his oversized shirt touching your nose, you whimpering at the hotness and tautness of his velvet skin. The fullness invaded your throat, taking your breath away. He buried himself all the way in before yanking his shirt up and over his head, tossing it aside with his vest that was shed earlier, far too hot now, looking down at you through his lashes.

“Don’t choke.”

Hand in your hair, pushing you down, not letting you move as he rolled his hips into your face, the head rubbing against the rood of your mouth and your tongue pushing it up to make it tighter for him, taking him deeper, hazy and intoxicated on orange, musk and vanilla. His other hand held your phone up, unlocking it with ease.

Smirk on those lips, heart-shaped and teasing. “So? Is it mine?”

You whined, not wanting him out of your mouth.

“Your choice,” Hoseok chuckled, tone light and unassuming, the edge of danger only visible in those sparkling brown eyes. “Find out or I’ll cum in your mouth and not in that pretty pussy of yours I’m looking at right now.”

Right, because you were bent over, ass facing the mirror, wetness dripping down your inner thighs.

Fuck.

You backed up, growling, glaring at the picture you knew all too well now.

“Well?”

Fine, fine, fine, you were on this fucking Journey to the Dick, and it was starting to feel more like an annoying side mission than the actual main storyline, but, whatever, you reached up and angled Hoseok’s cock slightly, sucking in a breath with him as you looked from phone screen to the delicious real-life specimen. Hm, okay. Similar in length and color. Not in angle though. Shit. And not in width either, barely a hair slimmer and the vein placement was more prominent on Hoseok’s length than this dick.

“Fuck, it’s really fucking close but I don’t think it’s yours.”

“Shit,” Hoseok sighed, turning your phone off and tossing it onto his discarded shirt. “Oh well.”

You narrowed your eyes, pouting. “What kind of react–gah!”

Hoseok pushed you down onto the ground, pushing his shorts down to his knees and pulling out a condom from the pocket, cocking a brow. You sputtered, trying to untangle yourself from the labyrinth of your own clothes, but only managed to kick off your panties before he got the condom rolled down and pushed your legs up, lifting your ass completely off the floor.

“Can’t have this pretty ass on this dirty floor,” he snickered, lifting himself higher, bending you in half, almost on your upper back, nearly uncomfortable, but Hoseok was stronger than he looked, and when he gave you what you needed, you instantly forgot about the discomfort.

“Oooh, fuck, Hoseok!”

He plunged into you, into hot wet tightness, stretching you out easily from the previous wetness, clit throbbing as he smacked his hips down, his balls slapping against your ass, drawing out another moan as his fingers brushed your clit, making you spasm and clench around his cock as he teased the overstimulated bundle of nerves.

“Fuck, yes, so tight, so wet, so desperate for a cock to fill this hole, aren’t you?” he purred, still so sweet but with such dirty words, so handsome with his blond hair and navy tips, heart-shaped smirk and glittering eyes, and the way he said your name, dainty and serene, slowly thrusting into you, but so hard, he was so hard from being inside you, completely consumed by the physicality of the act and no longer the same man who had been worrying about how you would perceive him.

That seemed ages ago now.

Your hands reached up between your legs, running your fingers through his hair, completely forgetting about the photo of the mysterious dick and focused on the one thrusting between your legs, smiling up at him, those brown eyes and lovely jaw.

“You’re so good, Hoseok, so fucking good to me, fuck, harder, yes, ah…”

Both of you forgot about the music, fucking through the pause between them, hoping that everyone else was too busy with their own choreography to think about the hot gasps and moans exchanged between you and him in the middle of the room, the act reflected in the wall of mirrors, the slap of skin-on-skin echoing off the walls, your name and his name in breathless whispers, tight and full and hot and wet and soaring on sky-high pleasure, climbing altitude and running out of oxygen.

“Fuck, gonna cum, fuck–”

“Ah, Hoseok, yes…”

Tip, free-fall, you clamping a hand over Hoseok’s mouth and his hand over yours, screaming into each other’s palms at the intensity and the force of orgasm, smacking your hips together and holding them there, feeling his cock twitch inside you and your shivering walls clamp around him in rough, intense pulses.

It took a moment to disembark from the euphoric high.

“Hah… we should… probably not fuck here…” he gasped, falling a little, cradling your ass so it didn’t directly touch the floor.

“I’d fuck you anywhere, so that’s your fault. You need to be the voice of reason.”

He laughed, rich and infectious, and you grinned, holding his head against your breasts and hugging him tightly.

-

park jimin.

“I hate you.”

“Come on, Jimin.”

"I was supposed to be first!"

"Oh my God, are we going on about this again?!"

"You were supposed to suck MY dick first!"

"Stop being a fucking brat, Park Jimin!"

"No!"

You tackled him and you both fell to the floor, rolling into a mess of giant t-shirts, fierce kisses and your hands in his now red hair, fiery and hot-headed like he was being right now.

"You little–"

"Don't you dare call me little!"

"I was gonna call you a little shithead but if you wanna be a big shithead, that's fine with me!"

He pinned you down and you grabbed his waist with your legs and rammed your crotch into his black shorts, making him gasp in horny pain and crumple into his laundry that you were supposed to help him fold, but instead you were wrestling and he was complaining about not getting his dick sucked.

It was your turn to pin him down with your arms and your thighs, Jimin seeing stars as he struggled to breathe from your lower belly smacking his erection the wrong way.

"Why, ack, why did you run off saying there's a proper order?" he choked out, choking harder as your panty-covered mound sat down on his length and started rubbing up and down, smirking down at him, his red hair flaring out on his cream rug.

"'Cause there is," you replied, calm and cool.

"Order of what? Order of how you fucked us?"

"Nah, I fucked Yoongi first, remember? At that party, ages ago..." you hummed, extending the expanse of your movement, sliding up and down his thighs, his plush lips open and moaning softly, his grip on your large t-shirt tightening. It was actually his, because neither you nor Jimin knew the meaning of keeping your clothes on.

"Yeah, in my car!"

"Eh, you were drunk and playing pool with Taehyung, which, by the way, he mad cheated and you didn't even notice."

"Fuck!"

You weren't sure if that exclamation was related to your teasing or Taehyung cheating, but Jimin removed one of his hands from your shirt and flipped off the wall, in the direction of Taehyung's room.

Ah, so not you.

"Is it age order? But Namjoon isn't the oldest..." Jimin refuted himself, frowning.

"He’s first because he's kind of like the leader of you guys, isn't he? You all end up listening to his reasoning anyway."

Jimin squinted, pouting. "That's just because his tall and smart and has a fatty IQ."

You grinned. "148."

Jimin looked very annoyed that you remembered the exact number.

“I never thought about it, but other than that, it is age order, huh?” you mused, bouncing on his dick.

He shuddered with satisfaction, rolling his hips into you. “Then why would you…?”

You shrugged. “Your names sound good together like that. Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook…”

Jimin added your name last with an amused smirk. You bit your lower lip, cocking an eyebrow and sporting a devious smile, leaning down. Lips to lips, a soft sigh, remembering that night, stumbling out of Jimin’s car and tangled in Yoongi’s touch, still kissing Yoongi with your ass on the hood of the car. Jimin had been annoyed at you then too, how could you fuck him first and not me, Yoongi laughing in that raspy, sexy way of his, because I asked, dumbass, Jimin grabbing your face and kissing you right in front of Yoongi, the older man clicking his tongue and squeezing your ass tighter, unimpressed.

In some ways, that night started off the chain reaction of hey, why not me?

Okay, maybe you did have some frustrations about your dating life and ended up tumbling into their beds for, ahem, emotional support, but in your defense, they were all great when it came to emotional support.

“Sit on my face.”

“That’s not the angle of the dick pic though.”

“Then just take the pic from that position. That’s how it was taken, right?”

Sometimes, Park Jimin was a damn genius.

He was great at eating pussy too.

“Ah, fuuuck, Jimin…”

A little messy at first, humming approvingly at your taste, thrusting his tongue into you and moaning as your muscles closed in on it, your slick nectar painting those beautiful, soft lips, him pressing them to your heat, lewd kisses, tongue swiping up and down.

“Gotta clean you up so you can dirty me up,” he breathed, tracing sensual patterns in between your thighs with his tongue, small nips to make you whine, his hands on your ass, moaning into your pussy as your kiss came into contact with his rigid cock, dripping saliva and licking it back up, gyrating your tongue at the tip and licking off the pre-cum, savoring the taste, strong and almost sweet.

Everything about Jimin was sweet, even when he was frustrated with you.

“Fuck, give it to me.”

His hands on your ass, pushing you down, setting your pussy flush onto his lips, blocking off his airway and moaning hotly, desperate, needy, wanting your noises as you swallowed him, his length swelling in your mouth at the wet encasement, swirling your tongue all around.

You’re so mean. I can’t believe you wouldn’t ask me first, get on your knees, come on, aren’t you sorry?

You weren’t, not even in the slightest bit sorry for fucking Yoongi in his car, but you had enjoyed his little pout and twinge of jealousy, kisses up his muscular thighs, the same thighs you were clutching right now, one hand tucking your hair behind your ear, remembering his hand on the back of your head, pushing you down on his cock, the same cock you buried all the way into the back of your throat, blocking your own ability to breathe, suffocating on it as Jimin groaned, coming back up for air, rushing exhale washing over your skin before returning to his work on your clit, rapid, intense licks that shimmered pleasure through your veins.

Jimin made you choke on his dick after the Yoongi incident, but you were the one in control of it now, rutting the head against your throat muscles, feeling it get harder and harder. He always felt so good in your mouth, recalling him saying once, I just really like getting my dick sucked, shut up and stop shaming me, tongue and lips and saliva, remembering how much he liked it when you held the base and focused on the tip, his muffled whines getting more intense and vibrating your core, making sure to pop your lips over the bottom of the head every time you came up and then pressing them tightly as you went back down, doing it all at that fast, suffocating pace that made him stop licking you to throw his head back and moan, loud lust radiating off the walls, not caring about disturbing anyone, too absorbed into your pace to be considerate.

“F-Fuck, yeah, just like that, fuck, you’re so good…”

Jimin was part of the reason you were good.

He really liked getting his dick sucked. Your mouth was one of his favorites and usually readily available.

Win-win.

“Faster, fuck, oh, shit, I’m gonna cum, mmmphf!”

He grabbed your ass and smothering himself with your pussy, body trembling under you as his cock jerked and shot into your throat, your lips closing in, sucking hard to drink his cum, his moans filling your wet hole and tongue all over your clit, furiously licking as you rubbed the twitching head into the roof of your mouth, his hips squirming at the overstimulation, but his violent grip and nails digging into your ass was telling you to do it, telling you he loved it, telling you he needed it, begging you to do what you did best, gulping around the head and then jamming it into your throat, cutting off your air.

He sucked on your clit, hard, whining so loud that you could feel it in his chest and racing heartbeat pressed against your lower belly, almost lifting your lower half with his upper body alone, showing off his strength from dancing. You angled your head, taking as much as you could, nose in his balls, whimpering around his cock and the snap of orgasm making your entire body flinch, leaking all over his face and into his mouth, his nose buried into your pussy, tongue soothing your throbbing clit, wave after intense wave, barely breathing, lightheaded with pleasure, clutching his thighs tightly, naked bodies suddenly dirty, surrounded by clean laundry.

Jimin yanked his head out from between your legs, panting in satisfaction, diving back in to shove his tongue on your quivering hole and scoop out your orgasm, sucking it out to drink it, murmuring your name into your slick juices.

“You taste so fucking good, fuck…”

You came up for air, gasping, tongue lolling out, holding his cock and rubbing the slit against your wet muscle. His stiff length twitched, still hard because of your mouth.

“Take the picture, mmm, yes, did you forget?” Jimin gasped into your pussy.

You fumbled with your phone beside his leg, still reeling from orgasm and Jimin’s continued ministrations, putting it in selfie mode and seeing the lower half of your face, chin shiny with saliva, his cum dripping off your lower lip, his cock in front of your face and naked chest, your breasts pressed into his abs.

You thought about licking off the visible cum, but then you decided against it, snapping the photo with your tongue hovering close to his rock-hard erection.

You knew the composition of the inspirational dick pic now, so you brought it up in a photo editing app, putting the two side by side while wrapping your lips around the head of Jimin’s cock, sucking it leisurely like a lollipop. He didn’t ask you to get off.

Instead, he planted your pussy into his face and suffocated himself with it again.

You studied the two photos. Hm. Firstly, yours was much sexier. No offense to white t-shirt, blue jeans, and black boxer briefs guy, but your glistening cum-covered lips and squashed tits in the background of the cock made the photo eons better than his. Jimin would definitely be asking for yours later. Anyway, back to the picture. Hmm. Jimin’s dick was slightly shorter and straighter, with a warmer skin tone to his purple-red tip, although the head shape was spot on. Was that possible to have a different length but almost identical head shapes? Did dicks work that way? Did Jimin have an equally sexy twin brother or doppelganger somewhere?

Hm, a threesome with basically two Jimins would be hot as hell.

He patted your leg and you climbed off him, sighing as you rolled over and pursed your lips, concluding that his wasn’t the mystery dick. Once again, close, but no dick. Wait. That wasn’t the saying. Eh, whatever.

“Fuck, send me that photo later, I’m gonna jack off to it.”

You laughed, feeling him crawl beside you and roll you onto your stomach, pinning you down with his naked body. “You wanna jack it to your own dick?”

He was rubbing said dick into the crevice of your ass cheeks now, using your saliva was lube. “Fuck yeah I wanna jack it to my own dick with your lips covered with my cum and your titties on my stomach, sounds fuckin’ hot.”

“You’re such a pervert, Jimin.”

“And you aren’t?”

The front door slammed shut. There was a loud yell of your name in deep baritone.

“Aw, hell no, I’m getting it in this pussy first, I got time before he comes to collect,” Jimin growled, reaching into his discarded shorts and ripping open a condom, scrambling off you and rolling it down his still-hard length, grabbing one of your legs.

You shifted to your side, glaring at him. “What am I, taxes?”

The deep voice called your name again, asking where you were.

He didn’t have to wait long for an answer though, because Jimin thrust into you and you ended up moaning Kim Taeyang’s name to inform him of your whereabouts, causing Jimin to bend over and fuck you hard and rough.

“I can’t believe you would moan his name like that with my dick inside you,” Jimin growled, looking far too cute to actually be pissed at you. “Gonna fuck you so hard that you’ll be sore for him.”

Everything about Jimin was sweet, even when he was firmly fucking you into his floor and making you yelp as Taehyung burst the door open, sighing at the scene.

“Who would have fucking guessed what you two are doing…”

-

kim taehyung.

"You're so fucking stubborn."

"Wow, that's really rude, I don't make comments about your–"

"Shut up, I'm deleting his number."

You narrowed your eyes and frowned, sitting with one leg bent on Kim Taehyung's bed. He was currently in possession of your phone, clicking his tongue and pressing buttons on the screen.

"When someone tells you to leave them alone, you leave them alone," he scolded.

You cowered slightly, eyes shifting. "I was only asking if he was doing anything this weekend... I didn't have any ulterior motives..."

Taehyung squinted. You deliberately avoided his gaze. He sighed, crossing his arms. You were still wearing Jimin's shirt with nothing underneath so, uh, maybe he had good reason to be suspicious.

"You have a virgin kink."

You choked on nothing. "What, no, I don't–"

Taehyung reached over to his desk and put on the thin, gold-framed glasses he kept there. He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. You abruptly stopped talking and gawked at him, breathless at the way his dark brown orbs were bordered by gold and his long, black-brown hair, the rest tied back in a small ponytail.

"And a glasses kink."

He took them off and you sucked in a tight breath, grimacing.

"That's why you keep going after these kinds of guys," Taehyung tutted, neatly folding the specs and placing them back on his desk. "And why you bonked Namjoon-hyung so fast, only to realize that he is not, in fact, a virgin."

"W-Well, he's still good..."

"Same reason why you got so excited when–"

"Look," you cut in, chopping the air with your hand, not letting Taehyung finish. His eyebrow seemed permanently raised. "I'm off my bullshit for now, no? I've got a mission–" You pointed to your phone and he held it out of your reach. You scowled and bounced back down into the bed. His eyes weren't following your face, but you ignored it. "–and I'll stop okay?"

Taehyung cocked his other eyebrow.

"Serious. You just deleted all the numbers except you and your friends, right?"

He turned the screen, thumb hovering over a certain number. Him and his friends were listed from one to seven, in order.

His thumb was over number seven.

"Don't," you whined. "Please, Tae."

His brows lowered, serious expression on his handsome face.

Then he smirked, dumping your phone on the bed.

"Silly girl," he drawled, crawling onto the bed, advancing towards you, sultry gaze and enchanting eyes making you forget about your device. "Why would I do that? He likes you so much."

You growled slightly, letting him push you down but not relenting. "That's really fucked up."

"That I wanna hear you say please?"

His hand lifted and cupped your chin, mischievous smile, unable to contain his pride for his little trick, sliding his leg between your thighs, tilting his head.

"Not just any please," he murmured, deep voice silky smooth, dark curled stands brushing against your cheeks he leaned in, hot exhale on your lips. "Your needy please when I threaten to take your precious Jungkookie from you."

You tried to close your legs but he stopped you with his knee, tilting his head, highly amused at your narrowed eyes.

"You don't like it?" He was leaning down, feathery kisses on your lips and cheeks. "I know you like it when I tease you." His honey voice was dripping into the fire, turning into fuel that fed the sparks of arousal, your hands coming up to clutch his black shirt, pulling down the center zipper, his deep chuckle in your skin, hand from your chin sliding up to your hair, the other tapping down your front, grazing the thin t-shirt material.

"Don't..." you gasped, his deft touch toying with the hem. “Don't use the others against me. That's not fair...”

“Mmm, yeah?”

Drawing circles on your inner thigh with his nail, nicking the skin.

"You only want to think about me?"

Your phone hummed with a notification. Taehyung chuckled, fingers creeping closer and closer.

"Aw, I wonder who that is? But that's too bad, because you're all mine right now."

You gasped, clutching his open shirt as his fingers slid in, two because you were already wet, shallow breathing and lidded eyes telling him enough, taking your lips with his, pace slow and steady and maddening, spreading your legs with his knees, forcing you to tip your hips up to him in an embarrassing position.

Then again, embarrassment during sex wasn't part of your vocabulary.

You pushed his black shirt down one shoulder and reached in, your fingers snaking to the hem of the white undershirt and stroking his skin, his satisfied exhale hot against your neck, you remembering the way the water drenched the fabric and stuck it to his golden tan skin, playfully flexing his defined chest and biceps, adorable and arousing because Kim Taehyung was both. He separated his digits inside your pussy to create a loud, sharp, wet squelch. You heard him grin, smug at the dirty sound, then begin plunging his fingers in and out, in and out of the tightness, trying to be as noisy as possible. You clenched your core to make him work for it, force him to be rougher with you, his fingers curling in your hair, yanking firmly, lips on your ear.

"See, how can those boys you pick keep up with you, hm? They won't know what to do with your pretty, sexy self," he purred, faster, harder, pushing you to the edge with your heated moan and your hands all over his chest, lifting your hips to meet his touch. "You need us to take care of you, don't you?"

Fuck, the way Taehyung said your name.

Like it was a decadent sweet he was craving, a taste compared to no other.

Your head fell back into the pillows, breathing in his warm scent in shallow puffs, his name pouring out of your lips, yearning and desire.

"Mmmm, Taehyung...."

Melting you into it, sweet bliss and sharp jerks of your hips into his hand, gasping at the flood of euphoria, trying to squeeze your thighs around his hand and stopped by his open legs. Your throbbing pussy gripped his fingers and made him hiss, his devious smirk growing as you lowered your chin again to look into those dark eyes, shivering under his intense gaze.

“Let’s play a little game.”

His tongue slid out, lickings your lips lightly.

“It’s called, how many fingers can I stuff in you before you’re begging for my dick?”

“What kind of – oh, f-fuck!”

One more.

Aching tightness, clenching your jaw, trembling at the ease of it, Taehyung cocking an eyebrow.

“Ah, yeah, three’s too easy, huh? You already warmed up.”

One more.

“Fuck, Tae, fuck!”

His dark eyes glittering, pleased at your reaction.

“That’s better. That’s what I wanna hear.”

Whines in your throat as he picked up the pace, fast and hard, clutching his shirt and his side, your nails digging in, stretched out and stuffed with four, your eyes rolling back and one leg sliding up to hook around his waist, meeting each thrust, so deep, so full, so wet, loud and obvious and uncaring of who was listening – probably Jimin with a huge smirk on his face – panting Taehyung’s name over and over, feeling the strength in his hold and his grip in your hair, pulling lightly, shooting pricks of pain down your head to meet the oppressive pleasure brimming in your core, closer, closer.

“What do you want?” Taehyung growled, that deep voice dangerously low.

“Y-Your c-cock, p-please…” you managed to gasp out, chasing it, chasing the fullness and the depth.

“Can you take it? Can you take it like the good girl you are?”

“A-Ah, yes, please Tae, want it,” you moaned, your fingernails digging into his back, scratching down as your orgasm shattered through you, making your whole body shake and shiver from the intensity, him pulling out. Your moan turned into a hoarse whimper, squirming as he rubbed your clit with his slick fingers, spanking it and teasing it, rocketing you into peaks and valleys of cut-off ecstasy that drove you insane, clawing at his clothes, desperate for his body on yours.

“What’s your magic word?”

“Please.”

He grinned at you despaired tone.

“That’s it.”

It took no time at all, your shirt flung aside, Taehyung losing his clothes that were already half-off, hot body to hot body, heated kisses and rummaging in his nightstand drawer, groaning into his mouth as his cock slapped your thigh, hard and thick and ready, dripping pre-cum on you before he yanked you up on top of him, ripping open the condom.

“Work for it.”

Lacing your fingers in his, sliding down onto that impressive girth and gasping as it twitched inside you, rolling your hips down onto it, better than his fingers, bouncing on it with your tits following your rhythm, squeezing his hands. Taehyung liked this kind of intimacy, the kind where he was grinning like the devil under you but still holding your hands as you railed yourself with his dick, rough and hard with your own smug smile, a little erratic but somehow good that way.

He made you work for it and you were good at working for it.

You found a good rhythm and – ba dum tss – rode it, leaning forward to deepen the angle and make it last longer, pulsing around his length with your tight walls, control and power and endorphins, each smack adding to the lewd melody that mixed with heavy moans and shuddering gasps, bringing Taehyung on your rollercoaster, his hips rising, your name rumbling in his chest, blood thudding in your ears at the baritone depth.

“Yes, such a good girl, gonna make me cum, don’t you want me to cum for you?” he panted, fishing for the magic word, bouncing one of his dark brows, his long hair flared out on his pillows, high cheekbones and strong features no longer hidden by wayward strands.

Your tongue between your teeth, grinning wide.

“Yes, please.”

The right inflection of winded want, maybe a little mischievous, but Taehyung liked that, for there was no fun in someone who was too easy.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy.”

He squeezed your hands and thrust his hips up fiercely, shock bolting from your core to your spine to your head, your head snapping back, gasp torn from your throat, flooding his crotch with your juices, overstimulated clit rubbing on the base of his cock and Taehyung was gone too, husky groan falling from his lips, slamming his hips up and locking his legs, shooting jerks of cum into the condom, aftershocks causing you to lose hold on your knees, moan pitching higher as you slipped down on his throbbing length, trapped on it because Taehyung wasn’t going to lower you until he was done, the head pulsing inside you, squeezed out by your shivering walls.

“T… Tae… the picture…”

“Ah… yeah… hold on… lay down for me…”

He wasn’t going to let you leave without his mark anyway.

“Serious?”

“Deadly.”

You laid back against the pillows, spent, holding your phone, Taehyung straddling your chest and stroking his slick cock, plops of cum and lube falling onto your chest, messy dark hair curling around his handsome face. You could see the purple-red head peek out from between his fingers, hear the steady slapping as he pumped it back to full hardness.

“Alright, let’s see.”

Your chest was rattling but you raised your phone, bringing up the picture as Taehyung gripped the base of his cock, lifting it up slightly to put it in position. You squinted at the screen, looking from the photo dick to the real one. Of course. He was definitely bigger, a little thicker, but strangely, the color was almost the same. Was that lightning or similar skin tone? Or perhaps men with really nice dicks just happened to have Taehyung’s tan complexion?

You wouldn’t question it if it was true.

“You’re bigger,” you sighed, tossing your phone aside.

Taehyung smirked proudly. “What a surprise.”

“We all knew that, even before I saw it.”

He chuckled, going back to fisting his cock. “That’s because Jimin has a big mouth and likes to spread rumors.”

“You like that he spends rumors.”

Taehyung shrugged, but his sly expression wouldn’t be hidden even as he shook his head to cover part of his face with his long brown hair, curtaining half of it with darkness, teasing and effortlessly sexy.

“Ready?”

“Mhm, do it.”

You raised yourself onto your elbows, smiling wide, watching his breathing shallow and his eyes close, losing himself in it, faster and tighter, the wetness audible, strong thighs shuddering at your sides. Then he sucked in a breath, hissing your name and tipping forward, painting viscous white strings onto your collarbones and tits, pushing his shuddering cock up and down to spread it out, your clavicle now sticky and covered in his strong scent.

Taehyung ticked his head, lips in a devil’s smile, chest heaving with exertion.

“Your cum necklace is extra pretty today. Take a selfie for me so I can jack off to your cute face later.”

-

jeon jungkook.

“Jungkook?”

Jeon Jungkook shrieked your name like you were Michael Myers and he was Jamie Lee Curtis, flinging himself onto his computer monitor and mashing the power button to turn it off, his long purple hair flying everywhere, brown orbs like saucers, entire body shaking so bad that even his eyebrow piercing was vibrating.

He froze like that.

You blinked at him from the doorframe of his rented studio room, one hand on the knob and the other holding up your phone like a kitchen knife.

His leather bomber jacket was hung over the back of his rolling chair. The chair was currently slowly sliding across the floor, away from him and his panic. Jungkook was wearing a sleeveless black shirt and loose black jeans.

For a guy scared shitless, his pants were pitching a very impressive tent.

Had he been watching porn?

“Er… I knocked…?” you said slowly, pointing to the door. “Do you not hear me?”

“Um, uh, n-no,” Jungkook sputtered, looking you up and down. “No, I d-didn’t.”

“I said I was coming by today. Via text?”

“Was that today?” he echoed hollowly like a ghost in a shell, the end of his question pitching to a higher octave. He coughed and cleared his throat. “Ah. Sorry. I think I f… forgot…” He was not looking at your face, instead staring at your thighs and your shorts, tight and tiny, shredded black denim paired with a loose, long-sleeved black top that read in bold, white, graphic, letters...

REALITY SUCKS.

You pointed to the turned-off monitor.

"Were you watching porn?" you asked cheerfully.

Jungkook's ears turned red.

"Yes," he blurted.

Silence.

A bird cawed outside.

You nodded, closing the door. You tilted your head and locked it, just in case, before waltzing into Jungkook's film studio space, bouncing on the heels of your large black sneakers. "If you're gonna watch porn, you should lock the door. What were you watching? Is it lesbian porn again? Can I–?"

You reached over to turn the screen back on and Jungkook's tattooed hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, yanking you away from it and to him. You blinked rapidly, confused at his tight grip.

"N-No, you can't see. You can't," he sputtered, pinning you against his hard body.

You frowned, annoyed. "Why not? I like porn." You squirmed against him, but he sandwiched you between his forearms, forcing you to look up and face him, thinning your mouth into a line. He gulped, eyes shifting, holding your body against his. His lower lip trembled, mole underneath bouncing with his uncertainty.

"I... It wasn't porn..."

You stopped struggling, confused. "Huh?"

Those dark chocolate eyes found yours, looking guilty.

"I was looking at your pictures."

You blinked rapidly. "What?"

"You know... the ones I take of you sometimes... You said it was okay..."

Ah, yes. Jungkook liked to take pictures of you. He had mumbled that it was because he needed practice and, later in bed, he admitted it was because he considered you his muse, an inspiration of sorts, so would it be okay if, maybe, you just turned a little and laid in his covers just like... like that, yeah, could he take maybe one photo?

"Sure, knock yourself out, dude."

A bit later, far too late, you had realized that had been maybe too chill of a response, but Jungkook seemed to prefer that and he acted less awkward about it every other time he asked to take a picture. They weren't usually dirty pictures. Although you were naked in some of them, they weren't quite inappropriate, every single one framed with delicate, well-thought-out composition. You always sighed and told him he made you look better than you actually were.

Jungkook always insisted you were consistently beautiful.

You pointed between your bodies.

"Were you gonna get off to them or something?" you cheerily inquired, bumping against his pitched denim tent.

"N-No!"

His ears turned scarlet and he jerked sideways, but you held onto him, hands firmly on his hips, not letting him twist away. He quickly covered his ears and pouted at you.

"I was... I just missed you."

You smiled, squeezing his ass. "I missed you too, Jungkook."

Your tone was soft, gentle. He stilled and lowered his hands, lips parting at your words, slightly surprised, incredibly adorable.

His dick twitched in his pants and jabbed your crotch.

A pause.

Jungkook's eyes shifted to the side, mumbling under his breath. "And, yeah, okay, I got horny, but that's only because it's you..."

"That's great, since I definitely wanted to look at your dick as soon as possible!"

His eyes went wide.

You smiled widely.

Then he said something unexpected.

"Ow."

You looked down and backed up as Jungkook frowned and reached down to shift his rock-hard length in his pants, sighing in relief.

"Zipper was killing me..." he grumbled, running a hand through his purple hair.

"We should just take it off then."

"Pardon, we should wha–ah!"

You grabbed fistfuls of his black top and yanked it up and over his head, causing Jungkook to sputter in confusion, throwing his hands up as you unsheathed his muscular torso, leaning in, breathing on his skin, leaving him to untangle himself as your lips closed onto his dark nipple, tongue teasing the small nub.

"Ah, fuck!"

You lifted your lips, tongue still extended, looking up to see him flinging the shirt aside, his long purple hair messy and wild, tattooed arm and un-inked arm lifting, pushing his hair away from his face, his chest rising to your wet muscle, gasping. You had a clear view of that cute little mole under his lower lip, trembling with pleasure before Jungkook looked down at you, hazy chocolate orbs fanned by black lashes, breathing hard.

You ticked an eyebrow, licking slow circles, lips closing in again, sucking daintily.

He bit his lip and let it slowly tease out while you simultaneously teased him, your name leaving his lips in a low moan. You danced your fingertips up his thigh, nail tracing the seams of his jeans, kissing across his chest, his eyes following you, hips rocking into your touch, following your pace, letting you command it. His head tipped back as you kissed down his abs, whimpering with want, curling his fingers into fists.

Jungkook always made you feel like you were touching him for the first time.

"You're not a virgin?"

"No?" Jungkook had repeated after the first time you had fucked him, sounding confused. "I'm just like this? Is that bad?"

"W... well... no, and now that I think about it, you were suspiciously good..."

"You didn't like it?"

You had turned to look at him and, fuck, the way he looked at you, so cute and innocent, uh oh, and then the slightest hint of an open-mouthed smirk dancing on those shapely pink lips, reminding you of someone else.

"Namjoon-hyung said that's what you were into. Is he wrong?"

Voice so deep and so smooth, gliding over you like butter.

You almost hastily defended yourself but one look into those roguish, yet genuine, chocolate eyes and you couldn't lie.

"But... you should enjoy yourself too..."

Jungkook had grinned, endearing and heart-thuddingly handsome. "I do. I told you, this is how I am. You're just my type."

"And what's that?'"

He had pinned you back onto the bed, leaning in.

"Hot and horny."

Turns out.

Seemed to be a running theme with all eight of you.

Right now, his pants were falling and you were sliding up as your hand was sliding down, shushing him quietly, your other hand dancing up his neck and pulling his head down.

"Someone's gonna hear you," you whispered to his open lips, tone and touch implying you didn't give a shit who was listening, wrapping your fingers around his stiff cock the second he pushed his black boxer briefs down, his shivering moan tickling your cheek. His right hand came up to cradle your head and lean it against his, begging whines for you to move, pairing it with an irresistible, husky hiss of your name.

"Please..."

He liked it tight and he liked it rough, liked the way you could lock your fingers and keep that nearly suffocating pace, closing his eyes with a flutter and moaning into your skin, curtaining you with purple, his grip in your hair tightening as you built that speed, filling the rented studio with his silvery, erotic cries.

"Someone out there is going to think you're watching porn," you teased, nudging him with your nose, looping a finger back to smear the pre-cum over the swollen head. He bucked his hips into your hold, lips pressed to your cheek, intoxicated groan warming your skin.

"Kiss me and breathe into my mouth..."

You couldn't say no, not with his voice so soft and pleading like that, not with that edge of nervousness. Fuck, the way Jungkook succumbed to your kiss, uncontrollable tremors taking over his shoulders, hot taut skin twitching in your palm indicating he was close, and you almost broke away to say that he shouldn't cum like this, it'll be messy and get on the floor, but he grabbed your face and didn't let you go, whimpering in his throat, wordlessly telling you to do it, exhale into his throat and he groaned in his chest, long, drawn-out, consumed by lust, and maybe it was bad, but you loved it, loved the way he wanted it so bad, wanted you to push the air out of his lungs and suffocate his pulsating cock with your grip, pre-cum leaking between your fingers, finally pulling back and gasping, his lashes fluttering helplessly.

"G-Gonna cum, f-fuck!"

You had to think fast, looking down for a moment and feeling his cock jerk in your hand, swiftly switching to cupping the dark red head, thick white cum suddenly spurting your palm, Jungkook burying his face into your hair to muffle his wail, your scalp hot with his released exhale and your hand covered in his heated release.

You breathed in, smirking at the scent of dirty gratification.

"Jungkook..."

He whined softly, hips quivering as you covered his jerking length with your cum-covered hand, spreading it all over and getting him hard again.

"There's this picture..."

"Mmm, yeah, the h-hyungs told me... don't stop..."

You swung your hips from side to side, free hand running down his chest, your eyes roaming his toned body, his tattooed arm still hovering over your head, long fingers tangled in your hair still, squatting down and opening your mouth, tongue dancing out and licking your hand and the side of his purple-red length, wet sloppy kisses, slurping up his cum and moaning on the throbbing head, making sure that he could feel the sinful heat.

"Give me... oooh, fuck, give me your phone..."

Your hand left his abs reluctantly, tugging your phone out of your ass pocket and holding it up for him as your mouth closed around his cock, swallowing it all, eyes closing, cramming all of him until the head hit your inner throat and your lips pressed against his crotch, knees on the tile floor, thighs spread, hands poised in the air, unable to breathe.

Click.

You cracked open one eye to see Jungkook holding your phone above your head, teasing smirk on his shapely lips, mole winking at you.

“For me?” he asked, not quite innocent.

It was the first time Jungkook had taken an actual dirty picture.

You shrugged as if to say, sure, pulling back as he turned the phone around, the dick in question on the screen. You eased off his length, licking it clean, bringing up your wet hand covered in his cum, popping your lips off the engorged tip and sliding your fingers in your wet lips, tongue wriggling between your fingers, inspecting the two dicks. Jungkook was still hard – so hard that his cock was sticking straight out, almost mimicking the photo. You had to crouch a little more, tilting your head and placing your fingertips on his balls, raising his dick a little on the back of your hand, smearing saliva and pre-cum on your skin.

Yon continued to lick, grazing the underside of his length with your tongue and then pulling back, eyes going from the photo to the real thing.

Jungkook moaned above you, clutching your phone tightly, knuckles white under black tattoos.

Hm.

You tilted your head.

One way.

Then the other.

Hmmm?

Hmmmmmmm.

“W… What?” Jungkook stuttered above you.

You pursed your lips at the tip of his cock, swiping your tongue over it and sucking off the pre-cum. He gasped, hips shaking, threatening to shove it into your lips.

“It doesn’t look like your dick at all.”

“What?” He sounded startled.

You pointed with your dry hand. “The shape is a little off, you’re longer and slightly bigger, and the color is different.” You sighed, whooshing hot air over his soaked, taut skin, Jungkook whimpering. You squinted slightly.

“Still…”

You tapped your lips with his cock, thinking.

“I think he wears the same underwear brand as you.”

“He does?” Jungkook squeaked, spinning the phone around and blinking at it.

You shrugged. “And for some reason, the position of his hips reminds me of you. I don’t know why…”

He chewed his lower lip, staring at the phone.

“Oh well.”

You stood up abruptly at your words and plucked the phone out of his hand, putting it on his desk.

“If it’s not you, it’s not you. Let’s fuck.”

Jungkook yelped as you grabbed the bottom of your shirt and began stripping off your clothes.

That was his reaction that one time you lost strip poker to Kim Seokjin and him at that one party, not that your cared because you didn’t bother learning the rules. You had other priorities and they involved getting mostly naked and then pinning Seokjin down to make out with him as Jungkook gawked at the other side of the table, half-clothed, clutching his cards.

“I can… go…?” he had sputtered.

You surfaced from Seokjin’s plush lips, his hands around your bare waist, the taller man gasping for air, reeling from your kiss.

“I still have one more piece of clothing to go, Jungkook.”

Side of your lower lip between your teeth, cocking an eyebrow, swaying your panty-covered ass at those huge brown eyes.

“You can help, you know.”

Fun night.

His eyes were huge now too, your back against the wall and him rolling the condom down, lifting your leg and sliding into you, gasping at your tightness, leaning down to kiss you again, greedy and ravenous, his hips jerking upwards, forcing you on tiptoe. Your hands were on his shoulders, nails digging into that soft skin and strong muscle.

“F-Fuck me, Jungkook, mmm, fuck, yes…”

You didn’t really get to talk during that strip poker night because your mouth was full of Seokjin’s dick as Jungkook’s pounded you from behind, but it would be a crime to complain about such things.

You met your hips to his to deepen his thrust, enjoying his strength, powerful and steady, fucking you against the wall, wet slaps and soft moans filling the room between harsh kisses, lips swelling from the fervor, your ass even rhythmically smacking into the wall, but neither of you cared, your leg around his slim waist and his right arm wrapped around it, his fingers digging into your thigh, black tattoos and tan skin gleaming from sweat, his other hand clutching a fistful of your ass and ramming your drenched pussy down on his stiff cock, grinning at your soft cry of his name, staring into his eyes and not looking away, spellbound by chocolate orbs framed by wispy strands of purple.

“You always feel so fucking good…”

You pulsed around him, feeding the fire, wanton exhales mixing, dick pic forgotten.

-

“Hah…”

You rolled over, sighing loudly.

“Haaaaaaah…”

“You still fixated on that dick?” a deep, unimpressed voice said next to you.

You frowned and planted your phone with the inspirational dick on your face, praying for it to come to life and choke you.

“I never found out who it was…” you mumbled.

“Well, it is Saturday night. We can go crash a party and maybe you can find that dick!” exclaimed a joyful voice, poking your side. Your phone slid off your face and clattered to the floor. A cheerful hand covered in colorful clay rings waved at you and your gaze shifted to Jung Hoseok and his blond and pink hair. He was too cute and you were unable to help yourself as you looked at him, matching his heart-shaped smile.

“Nah,” you tutted. “If it’s not one of you guys… the dick isn’t worth it.”

You closed your eyes and sighed again, long and with longing.

“If it makes you feel better, we don’t know who it is either.”

You laughed hearing Kim Namjoon’s deep, serious voice. “How would you guys find out?”

“I know a lot of things,” Park Jimin’s angelic, light voice chirped.

“Too many things,” Kim Taehyung’s baritone voice remarked coolly.

“Are you gonna eat that slice of pizza, Jungkook?”

“Yeah, hyung, I am, no, stop–”

“Give Seokjinnie-hyung a bite!”

“Over my dead body!”

“Then you’re dead to me, boy! Respect your elders!”

You heard some slapping and flailing about, but didn’t open your eyes.

“He’s probably not a virgin anyway. Virgins don’t snap pics like that on strangers’ phones.”

You cracked an eye open and narrowed it at the form laying on the ground beside you. Min Yoongi was messing with his phone. His head was on a huge pillow that he wasn’t sharing. He seemed to notice your glare and turned his head to raise a lazy eyebrow at you, cat-like eyes shrouded by black hair.

“Isn’t that what you’re into?” he taunted.

Your eye twitched.

You growled, sitting up. “I’m not into virgins, damnnit! I just like listening to people who are knowledgeable about their interests, like how Namjoon goes on about human philosophy, and how Seokjin never shuts up about MapleStory, and like how you talk about music theory. Just because I don’t understand right away doesn’t mean I don’t try,” you snapped, prodding Yoongi’s firm pecs through his t-shirt. He didn’t move, completely unbothered as you continued your tirade. “I don’t know anything about TikTok, but I like listening to Hoseok talk about the latest dance and fashion trends. Jimin’s the only reason I don’t make an ass of myself at parties because he knows everything about everyone so I don’t accidentally sit in a taken person’s lap and cause trouble. Taehyung’s always following that animal rescue Instagram and giving me cool facts about all these different creatures. Jungkook can go on for hours about cameras. I still don’t think I even know how to work the aperture function on DSLRs, but as long as he will continue to explain, I’ll listen.”

You sucked in a deep breath and seethed.

“So what’s the difference?”

“What?” you scowled.

Yoongi shrugged casually.

“Why do you keep chasing dorks with glasses struggling to get stupid graduate degrees when the people you spend the most time with are here with you right now, ready to fuck you at any time?”

“That’s–”

Your words died in your throat, Yoongi’s words finally sinking in.

Silence.

“Hyung, I’m struggling to get a grad degree…” Namjoon cut in, but the black-haired man on the floor lifted a finger and sliced the air, quieting him instantly. Yoongi was watching you carefully, head tilting at your frozen state. Your brain seemed to have ceased function. His lips curved into a slow, open-mouthed smirk.

Yoongi dropped the bomb on you.

“Didn’t you think it was a bit suspicious that the dick had elements from all of ours, but never quite matched up?”

W… What?

Your head whipped to your fallen phone and you scrambled with it, bringing up the dick pic again. The photo showed up at the party with the wet t-shirt contest. Your phone has disappeared for two hours during said party. Everyone was drunk. No. Everyone had gotten drunk after your phone had mysteriously been found and returned to you. You spent the night in various laps doing various naughty things, not bothering to check your phone after retrieving it, leaving it as a later you problem. You filed through your memories, recalling their faces as you showed each and every one of them the photo.

Hold on.

“Didn’t you think it was a bit weird, almost as if…”

They weren’t as weirded out as one might be, seeing some random dick on your phone.

As if…

“As if one of us is good at photo manipulation, perhaps,” Yoongi purred.

As if they had expected to see such a photo.

Click.

You whipped your head to the left and a whirlwind of dark purple hair went flying under the coffee table, hiding behind broad shoulders, chestnut brown hair, and full lips forming an ‘o’. At the same time, the realization hit you like a falling piano from the sky.

“Did you all…” you choked, mechanically jerking from face to face, Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and lastly, back at Seokjin because Jungkook was cowering behind him, large brown doe eyes behind a massive shoulder. “D-Did you all…?”

No way.

“Did you all take a dick pic and Photoshop them together into one superdick photo and PLANT IT ON MY PHONE?!”

One look at those seven faces and…

YUP.

Taehyung laughed, loud and rich, nudging Namjoon with his elbow. “Told you she wouldn’t check the details of the photo and realize it was from an outside source.”

You started and swiped around. The file name was close enough to your camera photos’ file names, but upon closer inspection…

“Oh my God…”

“She’s very easily distracted by dick,” Hoseok chuckled, infectious grin on his face.

“I am not!”

“Wanna bet?”

“Jimin, do not whip out your dick.”

You heard your name being called softly and looked up, clutching your phone, still stunned and flabbergasted that you had been lusting after a fake dick that was a fuckin’ Megazord of the seven dicks currently surrounding you and those seven were the very dicks that tricked you!

On purpose!

For what?

FOR FUN!

(GG, no re)

They got you good.

Your irritation immediately dissipated when your eyes found those anxious chocolate ones, long purple strands curling around his cheek, curious open mouth with the small mole underneath barely visible.

“Are you mad?” Jungkook asked quietly, pink lips curving into an irresistible pout.

Oh.

Shit.

Before you could quickly say, no, of course not, Jungkook, it was funny, I’m not mad at all, you felt a dark presence by your shoulder, raspy chuckle by your ear, sending shivers down your spine, whispering your name, devious and smokey.

“Whose idea do you think it was?” Yoongi murmured.

You stared into chocolate eyes.

Innocent.

Or…?

Jungkook’s pout disappeared.

His dark eyebrow cocked, mischievous smirk gracing those irresistible lips. No, not just him. Lowered lids and midnight blue hair, smug expression with a dimple. Kim Namjoon. Lifted chin, looking down at you with a sheepish yet wicked smile on full lips. Kim Seokjin. The black head of hair leaning his chin on your shoulder, laugh like a seductive purr. Min Yoongi. Tilted head balanced on long fingers decorated with colorful rings and bracelets, sly heart-shaped smile. Jung Hoseok. Shit-eating grin fanned by red hair, bouncing a perfectly manicured eyebrow. Park Jimin. Long dark brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, spare strands framing a moody, handsome face with a glint of playful cunning. Kim Taehyung.

And then, Jeon Jungkook.

“The hyungs thought it was a great idea,” he drawled, silvery and sweet, looking extremely pleased with himself, running his tattooed hand through his purple hair, unquestionably guilty, but despairingly angelic in appearance.

These fucking…. Seven Kings of Duality!

You were positively fuming.

Silence.

An owl hooted outside the window.

“YOU PUNKS!”

You threw yourself over the coffee table and horny chaos ensued.

-

2021.09.01 - JK birthday drabble 2021.10.02 - Namjoon birthday drabble

--

masterpost

[markantonys]

acos chapters 21-29: we are discussing The Tylin Situation in this post, so sexual assault cw (it’s not until the very last few bullet points and i will announce it when we get there if you’d like to dip out then)

“he could watch fireworks till he fell over from hunger” mat and fireworks ❤️

mat and birgitte bonding! becoming drinking buddies! “i [birgitte] wouldn’t mind sitting and looking [at men] a bit” i’m here for mat and birgitte scoping out hot guys together

a mention that thom and juilin share a room 👀 i’m obsessed with the idea of them being background married and no one knows until one of them mentions something one day and elayne and nynaeve are like WHAT and thom and juilin are like ?? we’ve been married since tanchico?? did you not know that?

birgitte saying that mat rescuing elayne from the stone is something she herself wouldn’t do for anyone short of her literal eternal soulmate. matlayne rights!

elayne to aviendha: “i don’t intend to try to become aiel, but i...i want you to be proud of me.” 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺

“‘i have pride in knowing you,’ aviendha said, touching elayne’s cheek lightly.” 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️

I’M SO!!!!!!!!!

elayne agreeing right away to apologize to mat because aviendha tells her it’s the right thing to do. avimatlayne rights! meanwhile nynaeve is hollering her head off about it but elayne and avi are so absorbed with each other they’re just not paying her any attention jdkfjg poor thirdwheel nynaeve

awww elayne empathizes with mat’s hangover rather than judging and disapproving ❤️ but she’s also smug that he IS so hungover because she doesn’t want him to have been able to outdrink birgitte because she doesn’t like “the thought that anyone could do anything at all better than her first warder” awwww ❤️❤️

elayne and nynaeve thank mat for helping them in tear! i’m surprised but glad to see this brought up again several books later bc while i’m generally in the “mat and the girls are BOTH wrong most of the time in their conflicts with each other” camp, the girls’ reactions to mat showing up at the stone was one of the few times where i was like “man, that was really uncalled for. and also just not Reasonable Human Being behavior.” i’ve been rationalizing it to myself that they were upset he came to the stone bc that meant he’d put himself in danger and now they had to worry about him in addition to themselves and each other, but i don’t think that was how i was supposed to interpret it lmao

mat brushes the apology off and is embarrassed and says they would’ve gotten themselves out in another minute without him (which is exactly what the girls had argued all this time). this pisses elayne and nynaeve off bc they have Humbled Themselves to apologize and he acts like it’s nothing. classic mat vs. the girls miscommunication. i’m thinking about egwene’s line once how mat complains and complains about a little cut but treats a broken leg like it’s nothing. he made a whole fuss about them being ungrateful but now that they’re being Real and sincere with him about it, he's like “oh shit they realized this was a big deal to me” and is embarrassed and trying to deflect (bc light forbid people know that he Has Feelings), which comes off to the girls as HIM being ungrateful. this whole relationship is perhaps the most frustrating example of “wheel of time characters who so obviously care about each other but REFUSE to admit it” an issue which is especially prevalent in m/f friendships bc “eww boys/girls have cooties!” 7-year-old behavior still influences how adult men and women treat each other in this series

and mat and elayne’s relationship especially because i KNOW they would be besties if there was any justice in the world. aside from mat disdaining nobility and aes sedai and elayne being noble and aes sedai, they’re kindred spirits! two mad scientists! i know mat “i’m gonna cut this firework open to see how it works” cauthon would be very sympathetic to elayne wanting to figure out how his medallion works if only both of them did a better job communicating with each other about the issue.

“not that [elayne] had any intention of becoming a sister-wife - the very idea was indecent! - but she did like [aviendha]” once again i am asking rj to let his characters who are in a polyamorous relationship actually be happy about it. elayne, if you’re so weirded out by the idea of being aviendha’s sister-wife, i guess you’ll just have to be her regular wife 😌

in elayne’s mind, apologizing to mat ➡️ aviendha will respect her ➡️ they can be happy together with rand. so basically, in elayne’s mind, a happy polycule depends on her making amends with mat. mat continues to be tied up with the polycule. i’m thinking about rand MORE THAN ONCE thinking about mat in the midst of brooding about loving 3 women (including one time when he did this immediately post-sex with aviendha and thought “why is min worming her way into my post-sex thoughts?” while mat was also doing the same thing). i’m thinking about mat being right there while avi is describing to rand what elayne looks like naked. i’m thinking about mat making a point of looking at anything but the two of them while avi and rand are flirt-bickering. i’m thinking about rand sending mat to go with avi to pick up elayne. i’m thinking about mat puzzling over what’s going on between rand/elayne/avi and fretting about the possibility of elayne/avi hurting each other over rand. rand’s other good buddy perrin has never been this relevant to polycule goings-on, is all i’m saying. mat is that post that’s like “thirdwheeling so hard you become a throuple.”

“‘i won’t shout at you,’ nynaeve shouted.” THE WAY I LOVE HER

mat thanks nynaeve for apologizing! good for him! would be nice if he also apologized for his own overbearing treatment of them, but i suppose that’s too much to ask lmao (at least, without his sister-wife aviendha telling him he has to do it so she’ll be proud of him)

the decision for mat to move into the palace makes the dice stop. i am afraid!!!!!! elayne notices that mat looks nauseous at the thought of being given rooms next to tylin’s, but she assumes the reason for it is that he’s upset that he won’t be able to drink and slut it up at the inn anymore. this hurts so bad!!!!

mat refuses hangover healing from nynaeve but then, “just to confuse matters [elayne] was sure, he added in a hesitant voice, ‘i thank you for asking, though.’ almost as if he meant it!” 🥺🥺❤️❤️ also, gotta love elayne returning the “every single thing mat does is specifically intended to make my life difficult” that mat does with her

“was rand going to be as confusing as mat cauthon?” congratulations elayne, you have the two stupidest boyfriends in the world. prepare yourself.

“when [elayne] set the basin down at his feet [thinking he was going to be sick], he actually looked grateful. she would not feel sympathy. she would not.” she cares about him so much!!! when will she admit it!

“[nynaeve] did not care much for rules, at least for other people’s rules - other people rarely saw the situation as clearly as she, and thus made stupid rules” nynaeve is my icon and idol

in general, i’m still not used to just how DISDAINFUL nynaeve is of mat in the books. coming into them as a show-first person where i saw nynaeve tenderly caring for mat at the inn and being just as upset as rand when he stayed behind at the waygate, her book attitude towards him feels so bizarre and ooc (is it sacrilege for me to call book behavior ooc compared to the show? haha). i know it’s classic nynaeve to bury affection under a hundred layers of complaints, but most of the time it feels like she doesn’t actually have ANY affection for mat underneath it all. she’s desperate to find some way to avoid needing his help to find the bowl, and when it fails and she realizes mat’s the only option left, she CRIES!

we meet some guy called moridin. Hot Evil Dude alert! from some vague and confusing spoilers, i think i will want to remember what this body looks like (tall, broad-shouldered, extremely blue eyes, very pretty but for a too-strong chin). don’t say another word to me about this bc what i think i know is already more than i wish i did at this point in time.

“[morgase] tried to think of gawyn - he would be in tar valon with his sister, full of his pride for her, so earnest in his desire to be her shield when she needed one - and of galad - why would they not let her see him? she loved him as much as if he had come out of her own body, and in so many ways he needed it more than the other two.” 😭😭😭 Why Can’t This Family Ever Have A Funky Good Time? i wish we’d gotten to see more of the family dynamics before everything went to shit. morgase and galad’s relationship especially, it’s so rare to see a loving and resentment-free stepparent/stepchild relationship in media

me having the seanchan forced into my hands: i don’t want these.jpg. they can just stay on their side of the ocean.

oh morgase. oh morgase. why is she being put through the wringer? what is the purpose? she’s the wheel’s second favorite punching bag, after rand.

i was screaming and crying about rand and perrin’s fight but it turns out that (i think) it was only staged so no one would realize perrin was going on a secret mission for rand!! thank god!!!!! i would not have been able to take my boys fighting!!

while waiting for elayne and nynaeve, mat tries to read the travels of jain farstrider (rand’s favorite book!) but is too worried about them to concentrate on it ❤️

mat mentions elayne’s dimples two times in as many pages. boy’s got a crush!

in listing the women he’s got exclusively friendzoned, mat includes egwene and nynaeve, and now birgitte, but does NOT include elayne 👀

“it was a shame aviendha seemed to have fallen in with [mat’s frenemies elayne and nynaeve] so thoroughly” is mat roundabout-ed-ly admitting he likes avi and would’ve wanted to be buddies with her?

elayne snaps at mat, aviendha whispers something in her ear, elayne apologizes to mat and offers to beg his forgiveness on her knees (😏), mat is bewildered and says it’s okay, and he’s further bewildered that elayne is watching avi and not him the entire time and sighs in relief when avi nods her approval. avimatlayne rights! forget ji'e'toh, i’m convinced avi has instructions from rand to try and make their girlfriend get along with his boyfriend.

i am obsessed with mat and birgitte’s friendship! obsessed!!! “she would nudge him in the ribs and point out a pretty girl for his eyes as readily as any man he had ever known, and expect him to point out in turn what she liked to see, which was generally the ugliest man in sight.” bi besties pointing out hot people for each other 😌 except mat thinks birgitte’s taste in men is shit. mat likes pretty men, i suppose. such as rand!

“he found himself back-to-back with birgitte and facing his own adversaries” yes!!!! what a wonderful (platonic) battle couple moment!!!

birgitte and mat would have a fabulous time as elayne’s co-warders, is all i’m saying

all right. fun and games over. time to talk about tylin.

i’ve seen it said that this whole thing was intended to be funny (and that many readers do find it funny) and not to be holier than thou, but i do not understand how ANYONE could POSSIBLY read this and find humor in it. mat is terrified! in the first scene when she kisses him, he thinks at first that he could overpower her physically since he’s a large-ish man and she’s a woman, but quickly realizes he can’t because she has knives and seems to have as many hands as an octopus. he “thrashed about, vainly trying to fend her off” and he tries to protest and give reasons why he doesn’t want to kiss her, none of which stop her.

then he starves himself to avoid having to have dinner with her, locks himself in his room, but can’t even sleep because he’s so scared that she’ll find a way into the room anyway. tylin attempts to starve him out by making sure that no one in the whole palace will let him have any food.

turns out tylin does have a key to his room, and she corners him alone and threatens him AT KNIFEPOINT into sleeping with her. this is rape! there is absolutely no bones about it! in his narration mat straight up says that he’s panicked, and this is mat who’s never honest about his feelings even to himself.

“you shouldn’t pout. what is the matter? you know you enjoyed yourself as much as i did” 🤮🤮

“‘it isn’t natural! i’m the one that’s supposed to do the chasing!’ ...he was the one who chased. he had just never thought of it that way before. he had never had the need to, before.” “he gave women presents. the world was standing on its head!” literally what THE everloving fuck????? what is going on here on this day???? i swear on my LIFE we have seen mat be chased by women before and have no problem with it! where the fuck is this coming from? why would you give mat some weird sexist hangups about dating that he NEVER had before just to try and make it seem like he’s being forced to change his sexist views - which he never had before this very moment - and like him getting raped is him getting his just deserts? this is bullshit. it’s bullshit!!!!!!

two times in the immediate aftermath mat has to fight not to cry

“climbing out of bed, he tucked the sheet around him; for some reason, the notion of walking around bare felt uncomfortable.” “not quite holding his breath, he pulled open the tall red-and-gilt wardrobe. she was not hiding inside.” “[he] stuffed the sliced rags [of his clothes that tylin CUT OFF HIM] as far under the bed as he could reach until he could dispose of them without nerim seeing. or anyone else, for that matter...there was no way he could face anybody knowing this.” “light, what was he going to do? move back to the inn?...only, he would not put it past tylin to bribe mistress anan and enid, or the innkeeper wherever he went.” MAT IS SO TRAUMATIZED!!!!! UGH!!!!! i’m so upset

at one point in this chapter in a non-tylin context he thinks “women were to admire and smile at, to dance with and kiss IF THEY WOULD ALLOW” and at another in a tylin context “he had never chased any woman who let him know she did not want to be chased.” EXACTLY, this has been established multiple times in past books and even egwene said so once in her pov so it’s not just mat lying to make himself look good.

“a strange world, it was turning out to be. one woman he was beginning to think of as a drinking companion, and another after him as intently as he had ever pursued any pretty woman...more intently; he had never chased any woman who let him know she did not want to be chased.” i feel like mat is supposed to be in a Lesson About Gender Norms here but it’s not good and also not necessary. mat’s always had women friends and he’s never pursued a woman who didn’t want him to!

in the fight with the beggars he literally thinks “well at least if i die now i won’t have to go back to the palace and be raped again” I’M SO UPSET!!!!!

that’s as far as i’ve read and i HOPE the worst of this plotline is over with now. but UGH!!!!!!!

[snapedefender]

not to get into the Great Name Debate again but whenever someone suggests people harry could have named albus severus after instead of dumbledore and snape, it's always like. so obvious WHY he didn't pick those particular names. "he could have named him after remus!" teddy's middle name is literally remus. already taken. "what about fred?" i'm pretty sure it was an unspoken agreement amongst the weasleys that george would get to name any potential kid of his after fred, which he did. "what about sirius?" james sirius is harry's firstborn son. try again. "regulus?" why would harry name his child after some guy he didn't even know? regulus helped them out that ONE time.

hthe arguments about this is are the stupidest bullshit i've ever seen and i say that as a longtime snape fan lmao. it's like some of these people have never seen a narrative arc in their fucking lives and have chosen to actively forget that hp is a there's a book.

there's a REASON harry names his kid after dumbledore and snape. these are people who arguably committed some pretty heinous damage against him in different ways - dumbledore literally raised him as a sacrifice. snape was cruel to him many times over. choosing to name his kid after them is an act of forgivness so in line with harry's values and character it's honestly fucking wild to me that people still complain about it to this day. yes, of course harry would name his child after people who hated or used him. harry forgiving them anyway, loving them anyway - that's the core of his character. he's the one who still shakes hands with dudley even after all the shit he put harry through, the one who goes back to save draco, the one who gives narcissa hope about her son, who sees snape being bullied as a teenager and sympathizes. harry recognizing that these are two very flawed men who nonetheless changed him - harry choosing to honor them because he knows no one else will - god how is that a surprise to anyone?

and, even setting that aside, it's not somehow being "ungrateful" for harry to name his kid albus severus instead of, say, regulus. (a dead man harry never fucking met!!!!! who did nothing for him!!!! what the fuck is that argument!!!! HE'S A DEAD MAN HARRY NEVER MET!!!!) i see that argument a lot when people want to say harry should have named his kid after remus or hagrid or something but like you say - remus has his namesake!!! harry wouldn't step on that!!!! and the same goes for fred - of course he's giving that to george's kid!!!! what the fuck!!!!

more to the point... less so for dumbledore (who i imagine inspired at least some albus babies) but who is going to name their kid after snape? who is going to honor snape? snape did so much for the war and for harry - and no one was going to even remember him, not as he should have been remembered. i think harry's choice partly comes from that; remus and fred have people who loved and remember them. hell, so do regulus and hagrid. but snape? if harry doesn't honor his memory, who will?

it's just stupid. people didn't like the name and then they decided to be absolutely insufferable about it. but albus severus was a perfect choice for a name for harry's kid and it IS the hill i will die on.

[the-bloody-sadist]

1 and 3 for whump ask game? :)

Thank you for the ask! From this ask game 1. )

I love whumpblr as a community - by this I mean the people in it, and not necessarily just the content. Everyone is incredibly kind and supportive of each other, and the fact that we all share a pretty specific set of interests with one another makes us feel like family. What I have to say about not liking whumpblr is not based at all on the community or people itself, but the content or aspects of content that I personally don't enjoy. With that disclaimer out of the way, I can't stand when characters are labelled whumpee, whumper, and caretaker. Lmao this is probably the biggest pet peeve that gets aggravated on the daily. I like characters, and to me, whump isn't very special when enacted on random cardboard cutouts of stand-ins that just illustrate the scenarios. I can't enjoy whump if there's no personalities involved. So I go for the committed storylines with named, fleshed-out characters, because that's what makes the whump actually hit. I just don't understand the appeal (past the initial story prompt for those writing whump who want to find scenarios to use) of a personality/gender/backstory stripped scene with stand-ins we don't care about getting beat up.

It just takes away the entirety of the impact. I could read about the absolute worst torture happening to "whumpee" and just not feel a thing, but give me the same scenario happening to either a character I know from media (in fanfiction) or an OC of the author's that I've come to learn about and love, suddenly everything means 200x more. And you can make use of such subtle horrors (I'm big on subtlety, which is another reason I hate the use of the literal roles being the names given to the 'characters' lmao xD) when it's a fleshed-out human.

But that's just me! Plenty of people seem to love it, or else they find other uses for it and push aside whatever qualms they have with the non-character approach. There are also some posters who do put personalities into their whumpee and whumper, but like...what is the POINT of naming them like that if you're going to treat them like a character?

Anyways. xD There are plenty of other things I don't like about whumpblr because I am a very picky person, but that's the biggest thing, and I don't want to gripe and complain about everything that gets on my nerves about it. Besides, I can overlook anything I don't like just for the simple fact of everyone being SO kind in the community. I don't care what you write if you're just a great person behind the scenes. Never stop. Enjoy yourself. Draw your crowd. I think it's wonderful that people share and get supported, even if I don't personally enjoy or understand the appeal. :)

3.)

Oooh! This one highly depends, because though there are certain tropes and/or whump actions that I enjoy, some are incredibly tough to write and others are ones I'd only read about, and would never try writing myself because I don't think I'd be good at it. More than that, there are also ones that I fall to all the time because I can't get enough of writing it, and it's a main coping mechanism for me.

To break all these down, I'll start with my top favorite, which is whipping. I find it frustrating as hell to write whipping scenes, but goddamn I eat them up in media, whether movies, books, or Tumblr posts. I mean it's also my top BDSM kink along with rigging, so it relates most to that. Plus the SOUNDS? *Pounds table*

I wish more whump included spanking/belting, because that's usually seen as a sexualized action, but I'd like to see it performed non-sexually as just a humiliation tactic. I loooove belting. But it's also another frustrating thing to write, so I can't provide my own version of it with much motivation.

A trope that draws me in rather...violently and unexpectedly is the "rescued whumpee" trope. So a "pet" character who was previously abused coming to a new owner, expecting mistreatment and being met with a kind, caring master instead. This is perhaps the most magnetic one to me, and whenever there are scenes where the whumpee gets scared into panic attacks by either the owner losing their cool or accidentally bringing up a traumatic memory, BRO I FUCKING DIE. Whumperflies go off the charts. And in general I love the pet whump and how it differs from the sexualized BDSM play of the same style, because it offers the slavery fix and the owner/obedient submissive dynamic that I love while staying away from things that I don't quite love about pet play (the animalization part LOL, which is not sexualized in pet whump and feels more comfortable to me as a dynamic).

I find myself writing this sort of trope more or less, especially with the trajectory of Dancing With Death and the third party (Emery) witnessing the abuse of the pet character (Angel) while also trying to find a way to eventually rescue or at the very least offer comfort and protection. My favorite is the abuse continuing and the third party only being able to offer background help. You get the constant hurt/comfort that way.

I again don't want this to be too long so xD I will end it with my absolute favorite trope to write, which is the kidnapper/kidnapped trope. My pet way of writing it though is to explore first the abuse, the psychological manipulation, and then the eventual breakdown of both parties, which is the key element to me. I like a kidnapper who is secretly insecure and needy/lonely, and a kidnappee who slowly finds the ways to get to the kidnapper's depth, whether meaning to or not. But if you've read my Sinner fanfic, you'd already know that. ;D

I enjoyed answering these! Sometimes it's just nice knowing there's at least one person who wants you to spill the beans about your personal opinions, and to be able to unload without hating yourself for it. So thank you, anon! <3

[karasunology]

⸙ ˚₊ ➷ BOKUTO KOUTARO BEING A DAD HEADCANONS! ❞

✎ . . . will you please write about oikawa, bokuto, and sugawara as dads?? :>

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ bokuto koutaro <3

[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]

✎ . . . DAD HEADCANONS.

[ SUGAWARA KOUSHI & OIKAWA VERSION. ] [ MIYA ATUSMU VERSION. ] [ KUROO TETSURO & KOZUKE KENMA VERSION. ] [ IWAIZUMI HAJIME VERSION. ]

-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-

[ 📼 ] . . . no thoughts, head and heart full of bokuto koutaro

BOKUTO KOUTARO.

➜ bokuto wanted to have a baby with you

➜ that's it that's the tweet thank you for reading😌💅

➜ i'm kidding don't leave, i have abandonment issues

➜ just like oikawa, kou ─ your husband, has gotten baby fever and it wasn't going down any minute until bb boy gets his way

➜ phew, i'd let him get his way with me✋😳

➜ bokuto was great with kids, always playing around with them in a park as if he was one of them, and both of you knew that

➜ and when bokuto sees that you're also good with kids, mans knew he wanted to build a family with you

➜ he wanted not just one, because seeing what both of you created taking in different forms and pieces of their parents would leave him so proud

➜ would very much take it as a sign from the universe saying to him that the both of you were meant to be patents

➜ the day he lets you awknowledge his little daydream, was when the both of you were sitting down on the coach re-watching his match last week after babysitting one of your guys' friend's kid

➜ mans couldn't TAKE IT ANYMORE

➜ the way you coo at the child, you cooked with the child and just the way you tenderly supported the kid with your arms as you helped him reach a toy from the shelf

➜ and of course, you accepted it; there wasn't any other man other than kou that you wanted to start a family with

➜ let's just say mans wanted to make one right then and there after you confessed to him that you wanted to start a family with him as well

➜ and y'all did just that💀

➜ after receiving the news of your pregnancy, bokuto has never been more happy, aside from those times he won a match on nationals and, well ─ marrying you

➜ but in the white noise of excitement and joyfulness, there was a lingering thought and it was terrifying; what if he doesn't make enough time for both you and his child because of volleyball? will he have to take a break from it? would your child love him?

➜ bokuto was now down to emo mode just with the thought of your guys' children hating him

➜ and when the thoughts became to unbearable, he contacts akaashi.

“ bokuto-san, ” koutaro could tell akaashi was thinking about it before saying something,

“ you're one of the best men i know that's good with children; don't waste your time sulking about nonsensical what if's, when the present is right there in front of you ”

➜ akaashi was, to say the least, your one of your children's godfather.

➜ but the day your babies was going to arrive, it was as if your husband had a switch and unlike the usual ─ he was the one supporting you

➜ he held your hand, squeezing them to let you be aware that he's right there by your side, knowing that you needed all the support right now and he gave it to you

➜ tenfolds the support you gave him

➜ and when be first saw the first triplet being born, he knew right there that he fell in love once again, but with the child he has co-produced with the love of his life !!

➜ i just wanted to say that y'all's kids are NIGHT OWLS, literally, gets the biggest bursts of energy at ungodly hours

➜ koutaro would still get anxious and terrified, but there was something about your triplets that puts him at ease ─ like, one thing he'd be doubting himself and then the next thing, he'd be all fuzzy inside when his three triplets just looked like a litter of puppies asking for his attention on his lap

➜ and he'd just, revert back to reality seeing how blessed he was and stopped doubting himself and just live in the present

➜ EYE ─ I'M SO SOFT I CAN'T😭✋

“ now say dada ” he encouraged the little sunshines on his lamp as a youthful giggle serenated from his son's lips

“ dawa ─ ” the baby tried to copy his words, before shreiking of laughter when kosuke saw the defeated look on his father's face, somehow bringing him joy

➜ while his baby girl, kouzumi, was peacefully attached to him as the most interesting in her golden eyes were his hair ─ attempting to reach her arms to his hair, making grabby arms

➜ after a few months, you've noticed how much your triplets were in sync with their father ─ all together, being balls of sunshine

“ you've been trying for hours kou, take a break. ” you laugh, as you looked up from the book you were holding seeing your husband housing an offended look, and of course ─ a weird sound, a scoff? you didn't know, until, your other son imitated him

➜ almost perfecting the one he made

➜ and bokuto was ECSTATIC

“ hONEY, HONEY, OH MY GOD DID YOU HEAR THAT? ” he squealed, as his son imitated his sound again

“ he's responding to me !! ”

“ dO IT AGAIN KOSUKE ” he says as he takes out his phone

➜ the type of father to do the peek-a-boo game with his triplets and doing it perfectly as they're just enamured by his father as if he was doing some avada kedevra shit 😭🗿

➜ hey queen!! 🙆👑 GIRL, YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN, CONSTANTLY RAISING📈📉 THE BAR🔝 FOR US AND DOING IT F L A W L E S S  L Y

➜ the type of father that would never miss any important moments with his children, even though he's a busy with volleyball especially since it's his profession

➜ the type of father that has too many videos of his children on his phone saying papa in different ways, trying to imitate him, first steps, first laugh & JUST EVERYTHING

➜ has a whole usb of his children, three folders for each of them

➜ has a whole ass frame of his daughter's drawing from five years old of him and her and he would NOT let anyone touch it other than him and maybe you when you when you need to dust off the frames because it's getting too dusty

➜ you guys would always be there to support him no matter what, either in the stands of at home

➜ but when you guys do visit his games and cheer him on, MANS WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE

“ mommy !! look, daddy's coming ” kaoru, the youngest of your triplets, tugged softly on your coat

➜ you smiled as you saw your husband running up to you and your kids after his matches as a few reporters, in respect, stood a few meters away from you guys, taking kosuke on his right arm, the other with kaoru and on top of his shoulders was kouzumi tugging on her father's spiked hair she could never seem to get over with

“ ahH ─ my hair baby girl, you're kinda hurting daddy ” koutaru laughed as your daughter tried processing his words before wrapping her arms around his head softly to not fall off a small gasp escaping her lips

“ i'm sowry for hurting you daddy! ” she exclaimed as her brothers tried telling her off while the reporters just watched in awe at her

“ don't hurt daddy just because he lets you on top of there ─ ” kosuke scolded her, slightly jealous that she had the highest view

“ ─ yeah! ” your youngest vigorously nodded his head as he agreed to his brother, both obviously pouting that she had the chance to be ontop of their father's shoulders

“ uh kou, i can take them now since there's a few people wanting to interview you. ” you offered as you jerked your head onto the reporters directions smiling at them

“ oh no ma'am !! it's alright, we also kinda wanted to interview your children as well, since a lot of netizens are curious about them, seeing them everywhere on his socials. ”

➜ you guys agreed as they start asking you guys questions, but more to the triplets as they responded cutely, their identical amber eyes looking at them like an owl in curiousity

➜ JUST IMAGINE THREE ADORABLE OWL LOOKING KIDS HANGING ON TO THEIR MOTHER OWL AND BOKUTO JUST LOOKS LIKES A MONKEY BAR LMAO

➜ like these kids just attached to him lmao

➜ but there are times where he has to go on tournaments, training camps, olympics & probably photoshoots/commercials ngl and these three owls he left in your care are in EMO MODE LMAOO😭✋

➜ they got it from their dad, and you were now stuck with three emo bokutos but times three

➜ wow multiplication

➜ when she's a mathematician😍

➜ but bokuto would honestly also miss his children clinging to him for dear life

➜ like they would never be separated without having facetime calls every five hours

➜ but your kids understood that he has other things to do and theg try not to complain that much for your sake

➜ your kids are actually sweethearts okay 🥺

➜ when they grew up, his sons were still attached to him but they weren't as clingey as when they were in their childhood days ─ but your daughter phew, your daughter used to be the clingiest of them all and now it's just none, nonexistent, vanished, obliviated, avada kedevra LMAO

➜ like you know how teenagers be

➜ and your husband was DEPRESSED ABOUT IT

➜ his bb girl won't touch his hair anymore :(

➜ his bb girl won't be a little girl no more :(

➜ especially when kouzumi starts having boyfriends😭 MANS WAS SAD THAT THERE ARE ALREADY BOYS OTHER HIM IN HER LIFE

➜ it felt as if it wasn't even yesterday that kouzumi said that she don't need no prince, she'll be both a fucking princess and knight in shinning armor

➜ ugh periodt💅

➜ and koutaro's nows just like

“ WHERE DID ALL THAT TALK GO ?? ”💀💀💀

➜ ALSO BOKUTO GIVES THE BEST ADIVCES NO CAP

➜ gives volleyball advices, relationship advices better than u could ever

➜ this is getting too long but, even if some of his kids may not show it anymore, they still love their father so much and won't let anyone replace him because he's basically the ace of their hearts.

[fallout-lou-begas]

What inspired you to make a comic for Agnes? Wouldn't it have been easier just to write her story out? Not that I'm complaining at all, I love the comic and your art! I'm just curious how you decided on a comic

Oh!! Thank you anon, now THIS is an exciting question!!! This got pretty long so I’ll put it under the cut but I love going off about the craft and the art of comic-making and how it relates to storytelling so I’m reallky glad you asked:

I actually come from an essay and academic-writing background and earned my master’s degree for my thesis back in early June. After that, I got extremely invested in my art because I just...didn’t want to write anymore. I was working on and writing my thesis for over a year. I was simply extremely tired of the written word! What began as drawing for fun became something more dedicated and centralizing in my spare time (but still fun!) and then soon enough I wanted to channel all of this new passion into a project instead of idle doodles. I spent almost my entire childhood making comics of my own, and so making IKROAH a comic was a lot like returning to my creative roots for the first time in a genuine decade.

I also wanted to make IKROAH a comic because from the very beginning I had very little interest in simply recapping every event of FNV as it happens in-game; I was committed to this montage-like approach where every issue is its own vignette from the get-go. This is far easier, and feels far more natural, in comic form where visual information can be very dense and emotional as opposed to what would basically be microfiction if rendered in prose instead. The script for each issue is basically all just dialogue and no issue has ever been more than three-quarters or so of a page long yet. This idea of the density of visual information also ties into the ways in which I really try to “show, not tell” in IKROAH, eliding narration and often the explicit reference of notable character details in favor of evocative expressions, meaningful dialogue, and careful composition. Ask yourself, how much do you already feel like you know about Agnes just from reading IKROAH? How was that information conveyed, not only through the art and dialogue but through deeper details like character design, what characters carry with them, how they react to things, their reticence to say something, what they don’t say, and so on?

I also wanted to mention that comic books simply have medium-specific strengths that I’m extremely interested in, and that prose lacks. For example, you cannot have a moment of silence in prose. You cannot. You can say “it was silent,” but by narrating the silence you have broken it. Comics can have such beautiful pauses, and they can be tense or pregnant or pensive, and it gives you so much control over the way the story flows on the page. Comics can also overlap different stories or different scenes in a way that feels very organic and immediate, such as in IKROAH #3′s cutaways to Victor’s Shack, Agnes’ flashback to her childhood attack in IKROAH #7, and in the upcoming IKROAH #11 (stay tuned!) which has two completely different narratives going on simultaneously. Page and panel composition gives you so much power for structuring your story, and I do mean that very literally and in a way that feels very material. I could honestly talk about it for hours.

This isn’t to say that I think that comics are inherently better than writing, or that I’ll never write prose. I already wrote “Scar Tissue” as a companion to IKROAH #7, a short one-shot fic that goes into far more intimate detail about why exactly Agnes and Cass hit it off the way they do and the chain of events that led to that fateful encounter between Agnes and a Mr. Handy in the bomb shelter. The greatest strength of prose is its ability to let you make asides, prolong scenes, and generally have an infinite canvas with infinite dimensions for as many dialogues, ideas, scenes, and details as you want. With my creative writing background also being as rooted in horror as it is, a big difference I’m aware of is that prose gives me so much room for diving as deep into the sensory details of a scene as I can, something much harder to do in visual art.

And finally, would it have been easier and faster to just write a fanfic instead of drawing a fancomic? Hahahahahahaha yeah absofuckinglutely lmao, writing comes a lot quicker and more naturally to me than art, actually, and I’m the kind of person who can just pound out drafts as quick as I can think of them. Not to brag, but “Scar Tissue” took two days to write and publish from start to finish.

Ultimately, IKROAH exists as a comic because I just wanted it to be a comic, and I was interested in telling its story in a way that could only be done through the medium of a comic.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #380

“so tear me open, but beware: there’s things inside without a care”

What do you want more than anything else? Good health, on both fronts. Have you ever tried coconut water? No, but I've heard it's gross. Who was your first love? My first "real" boyfriend, Jason. Have you ever been to a convention? (comic, YouTube, etc.) I've been to a reptile convention. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. What internet browser do you use? Well, I typically use Google Chrome, but because it hasn't been loading webpages for me, I've been using Microsoft Edge lately. Are you addicted to any energy drinks? No; I don't like energy drinks. How often do you see your mother? Every day, because I live with her. Do you like croutons in your salad? No. Are you the one who vacuums your house? Mom and I both do it. When was the last time your living room furniture was rearranged? It hasn't been rearranged in this house, but arranged when we moved in. What company do you get your internet through? Suddenlink. When you were little, did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney, or Nickelodeon more? Disney tops 'em. I didn't watch very much Cartoon Network. If you have siblings, when was the last time you saw them? I see Nicole usually every Wednesday because she eats dinner with us. I haven't seen Ash in a little while. Misty and Katie both visited the house pretty recently, and I haven't seen Bobby for a few years. I really miss him and his son. How many cars does your household own? One. What’s your favourite meat? Chicken or pork. What’s the best amusement park you’ve ever visited? Disney World. How old were you when you got your first car? I've never had my own car. What colour is your shampoo? White. Are you listening to music right now? If so, what’s the theme of the lyrics? "Pet" by A Perfect Circle. Manipulation of a child would be my guess. What was the last thing you had to eat? I had cookies 'n cream yogurt. Are you picky about brand name for anything? Probably for some things, but nothing's coming to me right now. Do elevators freak you out? Yes. The idea of getting stuck freaks me out. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? I think it's very fascinating. How do you find new music to listen to when you want it? YouTube recommendations, usually. What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? I only played the animals one, in which case I loved breeding them to see the babies, haha. Do you have any tattoos? Ye boiiiii If yes, is there any meaning behind them? All of them. If no, do you want any? What would you like? N/A Have you dyed your hair more than once (and different colors)? Oh yeah. Which hair color you’ve had has been your favorite? Red. Your favorite place to be aside from your home? Sara's house, haha. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? Nah, I don't need that much space. And I'm not really into hiring a maid or something to clean the place. Did you ever sit alone at lunch in school? Yes. I was usually too shy to "force" (as I saw it) my way into other's space, so I really only sat down with friends or acquaintances if I was asked. What is your least favorite beverage? Probably cranberry juice. Do you shave up past your knees (if you shave your legs)? If I shave, yes. Any old home remedies you use when you’re sick? Just sipping ginger ale. Do you like fruits or vegetables more? Fruit, definitely. Who was your last text message from? Sara. What was your first job? Sales associate at GameStop. Do you live near any volcanoes? Nope. Where does your best friend live? Illinois. How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? Two. Has anybody ever called you a tease? Yes, but only by my then-boyfriend, and he only meant it playfully. What about kinky? No. What’s your favorite bird? Probably barn owls. Have you ever been high? No. Who did you last confide in? My mom. How many keys are on your keychain? One. Where was your mom born? New York. Do you know how to tap dance? I took many years of clogging classes, which is very, very similar; the shoes are just a bit different to create a unique sound. Have you ever seen your siblings naked? My little sister and I used to bathe and take showers together as little kids, plus she is literally shameless and has walked into the living room looking for a towel after a shower on many occasions, haha. I actually don't think I've seen my older sister naked. When eating string cheese, do you dive right in or just peel it? I don't like string cheese. Do you have your own personal water jug? If so, where did you buy it? No. Well, Mom bought me one, but... we did NOT realize it was HUGE. We returned it, so now I don't have one. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Just wait it out and suffer. I've tried every trick in the book, and none work for me. Do you know how to take screen shots on your computer? Yes. When you sneeze, do you sneeze into your hand or the inside of your elbow? Into the crook of my elbow. What’s your ultimate favorite bagel? I really just enjoy a plain 'ole bagel with cream cheese. When you have chocolate, do you eat it room temperature? Or are you like me and stick the bar into the fridge first? I like it at room temperature. Are there any constellations you recognize just by looking at them? Well, I know either the Little or Big Dipper when I see 'em, but idk which is which. I just know one's upside-down. Which insect do you find the most beautiful? Butterflies. Moths can be gorgeous, too. What was the last thing you got very excited about? Someone is FINALLY adopting the dog this weekend. Mom and I have lost every ounce of patience with her. The family that wants her though came to visit, and they all adore her. Which Disney villain is your favorite? Probably Scar. I think he was pretty sly, plus he had a bangin' song, lol. Have you ever had a bedroom with a specific theme? Not really. Just filled with stuff I like. If you had to design a room with a theme, what theme would you choose? I would love to make a like, woodsy sort of room, if that makes any sense. Maybe like pine green walls with wooden accents and realistic decor. It'd be SUPER cool if I could build like one of those catwalk things along the walls that look like branches for my cat to maneuver along. Have you ever given money to a homeless person? No, I'm too distrustful. Have you ever designed your own Facebook timeline cover? Yeah. What is one site that closed down that you wish would come back? I used to really enjoy Dragons of Atlantis on Kabam! or whatever it was called. It transferred to a phone app that I have, but it's just not as fun. The dragons were super cool, and the artwork in general was just dope. If you have a partner, have you ever had to sleep in separate beds? If you don’t, how would you feel if a future partner wanted separate beds? I sometimes worry my future partner and I will have to have separate beds because of my nightmares/terrors that frequently cause me to lash out and basically attack the air. Sleeping separately would feel weird to me, but I'd far rather not hurt my partner. Hopefully, getting a CPAP mask really will help me. Though I don't imagine cuddling with one is comfortable. ;-; Or does having a partner even matter to you? I mean I want a partner someday, so I wouldn't say it "doesn't matter" to me, but it's not something I'm currently pitching a fit over not having one. How many languages can you count to a hundred in? Two. What is something you are skeptical about? The government lmao. What is something you find absolutely unethical? The meat industry, honestly. You look into it and it's just... disgusting, what they do to animals. I wish I could go without meat, I really do. What is something unethical you would not mind doing? Uhhhh? Is there a murder case you find absolutely fascinating? Okay so have you ever heard about or seen that video of a woman acting all strange inside an elevator at some hotel? Well, she disappeared after leaving that elevator, and some time later, residents complained about the water quality. They found her fucking body in one of the water tanks (I think that's what they're called?), and no one could explain how someone could have 1.) gotten up there and 2.) gotten the tank open to put her corpse inside. It's fuckin weird and creepy. What is an unusual item somebody you know owns? No idea. What’s the oldest TV-show you like? When was it made? Uhhh I don't know which is older, but I love I Love Lucy and The Munsters. Have you ever won a trophy for something? If so, what was it for? Yeah, sports and academic stuff. Have you ever been interviewed to a newspaper? If so, what was it about? No. Do you have a mug with your name/initials on it? No. Have you ever designed your own mug? No. Have you ever gone mud riding? No, that is not my definition of fun. I don't like being dirty. Have you met somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with? Yes. Who was the last male you talked to? Does he have facial hair? My psychiatrist, and he does. Have you ever dressed up as a Disney character? Which one? Not to my recollection. Have you ever played chess? If so, are you good at it? No. If I wanted to buy you a chocolate bar, what kind should I NOT get? Don't get anything with coconut.

[skinks]

get to know me more 🍓

i got tagged by truffs @trufflesmushroom and I’m procrastinating... also I haven’t done one of these in a while so!!! here we go

🍓 what do you prefer to be called name wise?

Joe, but it’s in my bio so ppl know that already. a lot of people call me Jo irl but I can hear they’re not adding the e

🍓 when is your birthday?

06/06 which is convenient bc it’s the same in both the regular, normal configuration of months and days and also in the american one! it’s the day before Bill Hader’s which is nice. Letting me come before him. He’s so considerate

🍓 where do you live?

Scotland. east coast babey

🍓 three things you are doing right now?

packing in preparation to return my hire car tomorrow, air-drying my naked bod, procrastinating at literally everything else

🍓 four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

I kinda prefer to just enjoy various things rather than say I’m In A Fandom, or Not In X Fandom Any More, especially when my involvement never goes beyond reblogging things and reading fic. But with that said, unsurprisingly I’m still.... eyeballs deep in IT chapters 1 & 2. Reddie. There literally hasn’t been a single day since ch2’s release when I haven’t thought about it, it’s intense. There’s so much amazing art and fic and I love talking about it, plus there’s still fic I’d like to write so I’m staying put for the time being

Aside from that, I’m excited for the new Assassin’s Creed, my AC feelings always flare up with a new release. Uhh... horror movies in general... I’m stoked for Barry s3, Tenet, The Green Knight, idk man between clown stuff and travelling I haven’t been paying attention to much else. OH I’m super interested in what Ben Wheatley does with the next Tomb Raider movie 👀

🍓 how is the pandemic treating you?

I’m extremely fortunate that I’ve been in New Zealand for the whole thing and it was handled very well. I spent lockdown with relatives out in the countryside hiking and biking and walking dogs, so I really can’t complain. I’m the fittest I’ve been in like 12 years

🍓 song you can’t stop listening to right now?

omg so many... I have one playlist on repeat whenever I’m driving but “He’s There... And Then He Does THAT” by Toehider really fucks

🍓 recommend a movie.

how can I pick one ugh.... Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes. I could say Mandy or Paper Moon or The Fall but I feel like Alpha got overlooked

🍓 how old are you?

26

🍓 school, university, occupation, other?

uni dropout, ex-farm hand 😔 soon to be job-seeking

🍓 do you prefer hot or cold?

HOT. HOT WEATHER, eternal summer, endless heatwave pleaaaase I’ve had enough chilly windy scottish bullshit to last a lifetime

🍓 name one fact others may not know about you.

I believe in aliens but I don’t believe in ghosts

🍓 are you shy?

my social anxiety is leagues better than it used to be, I have no problem talking to strangers or on the phone etc but I don’t know about talking in front of an audience. Idk. Haven’t had any reason or inclination to try

🍓 do you have any preferred pronouns?

she/her

🍓 any pet peeves?

people who don’t shut up during movies holy shit I didn’t pay to hear your running commentary. people who drive slow as fuck until the part of the road you can overtake and then they speed up??

🍓 what’s your favorite “dere” type?

I don’t know what any of them mean except for tsundere!!!!

🍓 rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

maybe a 7 rn

🍓 what’s your main blog?

it’s this one lmao [grinch voice] you put your glasses back on and face the hyperfixations

🍓 list your side blogs and what they are used for.

@fyeahedgechronicles for the Edge Chronicles book series and @merhymn is a colour blog. both very inactive

🍓 is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

I’m so bad at keeping regular communication! 😬 I ghost people for weeks and months sometimes but I don’t mean anything by it, it’s just that if I don’t feel like I’ve anything worthwhile to say or contribute then I don’t say anything at all bc I feel like I’m bothering people. I love my friends but sometimes I forget that just because I don’t mind weeks of incommunicado it doesn’t mean everyone is cool w/ that

tagging @thewintermusketeer @benevolentbridgetroll @shrikestrike @iwritesometimes @greymichaela @wordssometimesfail @rockcandyshrike @meremeduse @pohjanneito @lemon-wedges @djtookutz

[bat-lings]

I recently saw a popular post where somebody was complaining that Dick going back to the bat-office after the NTT run ended was a set-back for his character, the main reason being that they turned him into "an emotionally constipated batman 2" and I was a bit confused by that. I'm not an expert on his character but from what I've read I actually feel by the time he got his own solo he seemed a lot more emotionally mature and open compared to his NTT days where he seemed way more guarded and cold

I agree, Dick in Nightwing ‘96 reads considerably lighter and more emotionally balanced than during NTT’s early days. Boy was a tightass lmao. Emotional capability & openness is something he had to acquire and the Titans (especially Kory) helped him a lot in that process.

I understand the fans’ frustration given that Dick’s re-inclusion in the batbooks involved a disastrous handling of dickkory and cutting him off of the Titans for several years, but I don’t think it involved him backtracking on his development at all. Quite the contrary, in fact.

You make another very relevant point: writers’ personal interpretation aside, characters are portrayed differently in each book to serve the narrative’s purpose. Tim too is shown as more serious and “bat-like” in Titans (2003) compared to his portrayal in his solo. Same goes for Dick. Mh, not that I am the biggest fan of TT 2003 but I can get the intent behind some writing choices. Characters assume different roles depending on whether they’re with friends, teammates, family, or on their own. Of course it must be controlled lest the character feels too different or ooc the second he’s used in a different book, but in itself it’s pretty interesting.

Anyway no, I really don’t think Dick’s return in the batbooks involved a setback on his maturing & emotional development. It’s actually one thing DC managed to stay pretty consistent with.

This is Dick repressing feelings, pushing everyone away, and renouncing on the most basic communication at the cost of the team’s cohesion. For a bunch of issues (and we’re not even in crisis-mode, he just has a lot on his mind) he’s super distant to everyone and let them wonder what the hell is wrong.

[The New Teen Titans (1980) #32]

[The New Teen Titans (1980) Annual 2]

It’s not that he never does that anymore. Outsiders (2003) makes an entire story arc out of Dick failing as a leader due to his unhealthy way to cope after Donna’s death; he still goes back to repressing during hard times (Last Laugh’s aftermath for example) and he can still lash out terribly at loved ones.

But saying that Dick’s development was nullified by his returning to the batbooks is just not true.

This is Dick at the early stages of a relationship before his emotional maturing; vs Dick at the early stages of a relationship after emotional maturing. We literally went from him pushing his partner away when she’s trying to understand and fix what’s wrong, to him initiating a much needed discussion so that he & his partner can move on to build something.

[The New Teen Titans (1980) #28 || Nightwing (1996) #38 & #39]

This is Dick in late 80’s aka before his reintegration in the batbooks, but after having done some growing. Sharing his state of mind simply and freely with Kory, and spontaneously reaching out to friends when he’s feeling like he needs to.

[The New Teen Titans (1984) #39]

[Action Comics (1938) #615]

And here’s Dick in various batbooks acting as the confidant & supporting figure we know so well; or simply being comfortable discussing the emotional/intimate stuff. I don’t think the writing went back on his development at all.

[Batgirl (2000) #29]

I think a lot about Dick going “We all do” here. There’s no ‘we’— during Murderer/Fugitive, Dick was the only one to never have doubted Bruce. Not for a second. And the global narrative insisted so much on that that I have trouble believing the writer forgot it. Look how Dick conveniently skips on that detail in order to comfort Cass. He could’ve said anything from “all evidence were against him,” to “it’s not your fault”. But he chooses the one phrasing that’ll put him on Cass’ level, because right now details and who believed what are irrelevant. They have to work together to fix this mess, as family.

[Robin (1993) #29, #61 & #68]

[Nightwing (1996) #25]

He still has moments of emotional inadequacy where he’ll repress or act unhealthily, but overall he’s definitely more mature than during a good part of NTT. I see casualness as maturity here because there is no need nor benefit to make a fuss out of being open with each other— we’re far from “let me enjoy my bad moment/I won’t share my self doubts or vulnerability ever”. He’s definitely less guarded than before, which makes him more delicate with other people’s feelings too. Dunno if I’d say the other bats are all brooders, they have they lows and highs much like Dick, but he definitely assumed a supporting role in each of their lives that I don’t think he could’ve taken on before.

…Especially with the handful that was Damian lol.

[feminarrie]

Okay but as the snow continues to fall in New York, what would a snow day with Niall be like? Is he in the studio and doesn’t realize how bad it is? Or is he begging you to leave work and come cuddle with him because surely he is more fun than being cooped up in the office

uhhh as a few person that lives in nys, i would like to say i am sick of this weather lmao (def wouldn’t be if i could snuggle up w niall though tbh)

snow days are either really lazy or productive for niall, depending on where he is. 

for instance, maybe he hadn’t heeded the warning of an incoming snow storm when he had left for the studio that morning. even though your office job had already closed the night before because of the threat of frostbite and blowing snow. and it was clear out when he had gotten up that morning, so he figured the forecast had been wrong. (which, you couldn’t argue with his logic then because the extreme weather changes hardly left anyone feeling confident). 

but, you had probably pouted and begged him to stay in bed with you. your voice thick with sleep and perhaps a little whiney because you were under the impression that you could spend the day cozied up with niall. all warm and happy beneath the covers of your blankets. but, he insists that he’s got to at least spend his allotted time in the studio because they’d been able to rent it for a few hours. and julian is already there, so he sorta feels obligated to go regardless. 

so, you gave him an extra sweet kiss goodbye and reminded him to text you the moment he got there. which he does, but it was the last form of communication you had with him for a number of hours. you know that he’s likely wrapped up in the writing process, recording a few pieces, or goofing off with julian. so, you don’t pay any mind for quite awhile. instead, you’re doing all that you’ve been unable to do because of work. things like starting the laundry early, catching up on a book that you’ve set aside for literal months, and watching whatever movie catches your interest on netflix.

however, when you finally had the chance to peel back the curtain and glance outside, you realize just how bad it had gotten. the city looks like the inside of a freshly shaken snow globe. only a few daring drivers and unlucky employees were dotted around the sidewalks below. 

so, you would call niall and it takes him longer than normal to pick up. 

“have you looked outside?” you asked, knowing that he likely hasn’t. 

the actual studio space was windowless. and there really was no reason to leave it because it has comfortable couches, a kitchenette, and a bathroom. outside of the space, though, there were large windows along one side of the hallway. 

“no, i’ve written four and a half songs since i got here. laid down some of the others, too.” he admitted, “i'll look out now.”

and you could hear the creak of the door when he opens it. and the long sigh that followed it was a clear indication that he had seen just how terrible it was outside. 

“fuck,” he breathed. “i can’t see anything. s’almost a complete whiteout.” 

you hummed at his words, bringing your hand to your move to chew at your fingertips anxiously. 

and there was a pregnant pause because it was clear that niall was going to have to spend more time at the studio than originally planned. and you’d be disappointed because all you wanted to do was spend the day with him, but it was far too dangerous for him to even attempt making it back home. 

which, he does nearly six hours later than he had planned. and perhaps that’s 5am and they streets have finally been cleared. and he was so clearly exhausted when he walked through the door. 

and you only knew that he looked as tired as he did because you had slept on the couch that night. waking up every few hours because you were still worried. so, when he did arrive home, you’d trip over your own feet to get to him. grabbing his red and freezing face in your hands as you press kisses to his lips. 

“i was worried sick about you,” you breathed, although your frown had been replaced with a relieved smile. “i'm so glad you’re home.” 

and niall’s eyes would close when he pressed his forehead to yours, mumbling something about how he missed you. and he was nearly dead on his feet from there, so it is safe to assume that you probably spent the rest of the morning in bed.

you both would probably wake up at around 2pm, when niall feels much warmer and rested than he had when he first arrived home. and he would wake you up with a kiss and praises of how pretty you look in the white light seeping through a crack in the curtain. 

there wouldn’t be much else done that day, at least very few things that required getting out of bed. although at some point in the evening, you did convince him to put on a pair of mittens, a heavy jacket, and beanie so that he could brave the cold. because you had every intention of breathing in the cold air and catching a few snowflakes on your tongue after being cooped up inside for over 24 hours. 

niall had grumbled about it the entire time. complaining that it was too cold and windy to be outside. but, all his complaints had come through chattering teeth and deep belly laughs because you were absolutely covered in snow. from it sticking to your eyelashes and melting at the tip of your nose to the way it covered your scarf in a white blanket of snow. 

he didn’t verbalize how pretty you look, though. nor how he was secretly happy to be outside in the below freezing temperatures with you. but, he didn’t really have to because you can feel it in the way that he looked at you. because it is the way that he looks at you all of the time, with so much love and adoration that it squeezes at your heart and makes your eyes water. 

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

Odd :) numbers :)

You say you don’t care who I do but I’mma do Jesse and Vrox anyway XD

under the cut bc *insert vaguely angry but also just very affectionate ‘my son is a dick but I love him’ eyes here*

questions are from here, send me some if you’d like! :P please try to specify which character tho, less stress for me X’D

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Jesse: He’s actually very patient. He might jolt his bounce his knee a bit and twiddle his fingers, zone out/daydream. He’d probably have a nap after a while, he can fall asleep anywhere. He could last hours and hours if needed.

Vrox: You don’t leave Vrox alone in a room for a long time. Something will get broken, Even if there’s nothing in the room to break, something will get broken. About two hours at MOST before he starts getting annoyed.

June: They could last a long time if needed, though they would not be happy about it. They like to complain at the best of times.

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

Jesse: Normally has a long shower and eats whatever unhealthy shit they have for dinner (normally cereal or take out) and then plays music low in the background to help him nod off, occasionally he’ll replace it with an audio book but he’ll put his earbuds in for that. He and Vrox are both big night owls tho so keep in mind this is usually at about 3AM.

Vrox: Drags Jesse into dancing with him, eats whatever Jesse’s bottomless pit stomach couldn’t hold, and works out for a while (where Jesse can see of course because he’s a show off.) Then he has a very short paranoid shower because his DICK BOYFRIEND used up almost all the hot water, and tumbles into bed. Not gonna lie he and Jess have sex most nights, they’re… incorrigible. 

June: Soaks in the bath for a hundred years and refills it for every one of those years, then pulls on their super expensive silk PJs, does a facemask and pulls out whatever disgusting trashy knock-off romance novel they’re currently reading and pick it apart like the happy little vulture they are. They have a massive bed but they rarely ever sleep in it, most of the time they fall asleep on the couch until the sun wakes them up through the blinds they forgot to shut and they stumble into the bedroom cursing and go back to sleep till Taco wakes them up (they would sleep in all day if he let them.)

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Jesse: It depends on what you do. If you make a mistake, he’ll be fine. If you turn out to be transphobic or generally a dick then woop there goes his trust.

Vrox: hates everyone from the get go and that rarely ever changes, you don’t even have to try dude

June: Them?? Trusting anyone??????? *hysterical laughter*

7: What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Jesse: Nostalgia for him is bittersweet. Music is the biggest trigger since his dad loved it and had a record player that was like his second child, he used to dance with Jesse’s mom to Let Me Call You Sweetheart. One time Vrox found the old record and played it for him and Jesse absolutely broke down. He tries to think of the good rather than the bad, but it all gets jumbled up a lot: being gay, trans and black in 1910s was not a good life to lead. He’s got to step carefully around his memories.

Vrox: Doesn’t have a lot of nostalgia, but he DOES get weird dream-memories sometimes of back in his ‘baby years’, when he was just a simple hellhound without sapience yet. Jesse always laughs his ass off when Vrox has one of those dreams because Vrox looks so confused and disgruntled - and annoyed and embarrassed when he remembers something humiliating.

June: 99% of their nostalgia is soaked in PTSD, so no, they don’t enjoy it. The sound of the ocean, the smell of roses and citrus, wearing heavy dresses, any kind of grating or grinding on their teeth, and washing clothes by hand are all triggers, they hate it.

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

Jesse: Said “drat!” once and his mom made him wash all the dishes for three months straight. Needless to say, he doesn’t swear much even now. It gives it more impact when he does… unless in the bedroom, them he swears like, well, a demon.

Vrox: Fuck yes he fucking swears and he’d like any motherfucker to try and fucking stop him. Honestly the first word that came out of his mouth when he evolved was probably a swear of some kind.

June: Swears a lot. They’ll swear in front of you and your grandmother and your 6 year old, they don’t give a shit. They don’t remember their first one tho.

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

Jesse: Definitely asks, he’s a responsible bean who’s mature and wants to know exactly what’s going on.

Vrox: Probably doesn’t care enough to ask, unless it’s just him and Jesse, then he’ll ask.

June: They’ll fake it till they make it or ask with a blunt “what the fuck are you talking about?”

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Jesse: Looks fucking fantastic in blue and/or yellow and knows this. Vrox can’t stop kissing him when he wears yellow and it almost reduces his big scary boyfriend to tears because “you look so cute, what the fuck, how are you so cute?!”

Vrox: Red. He loves red. But blue brings out his eyes and suits him better, tho red is also good on him.

June: Black or a dark smokey grey. They know they look damn good. They’re highly allergic to bright colours, you understand.

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Jesse: Is the chillest charasmatic person you’ll ever meet, amazing at putting people at ease and making lasting conversations or small talk. Master people person. He can still talk a little ‘weird’ for our time and some old slang slips out occasionally, but still very confidant. thus i have no idea how to write him LMAO how are you cooler than me i created you wtf

Vrox: No small talk, no rehearsing. He’s intimidating and doesn’t normally talk to people unless absolutely necessary, or he’s trying to pick a fight. Has 0 interest in making people feel at ease or comfortable around him, he wants to be left alone as much as possible. People think he’s got a weird accent when he does talk, one that’s pretty unrecognizable - he spent most of his life in hell, after all, not on Earth.

June: Clipped, concise, they get what they need out of a conversation and then conversation is over. They don’t rehearse, they’re blunt and don’t care about feelings. They have the faintest hint of a cockney accent that gets stronger when they’re drunk/angry/emotional.

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

Jesse: Kind of. And he’s easily scandalized, and sometimes not in a funny way. He still forgets that it’s okay for him to hold Vrox’s hand in public where people can see.

Vrox: Only Jesse can really get blushes out of him.

June: Occasionally, but they’ll get irritated faster than they’ll get embarrassed, and when they get flustered they tend to scratch so be careful with that.

19. What is their favorite number?

Jesse: 2.

Vrox: 666.

June: 43.

21. Why do they get up in the morning? 

Jesse: Sometimes he doesn’t. Mostly because he tries to find good little things in every day that he looks forward to. Or because Vrox wheedles him out of bed with breakfast and kisses.

Vrox: Because somebody’s gotta annoy Jesse out of bed. Also because once he wakes up he gets restless and needs to move around, no peaceful lie-ins for him.

June: Because Taco won’t stop drooling and shedding on them, otherwise they wouldn’t. Sleep is like the only thing they enjoy... just not the dreams.

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

Jesse: Gets a bit quiet but tries to feel happy for the person he’s envious of.

Vrox: Angrily. What did you expect. Tries to get the thing and if he can’t have it he tries to ruin it, or he just stalks off.

June: They get pissy and territorial and they sulk. A lot.

25. What are their thoughts on marriage? 

Jesse: Likes the idea, definitely wants to get married one day. His parents were both people of faith (even if it wasn’t SUPER strong) and he doesn’t really like that they would disapprove of him living in sin, ironic as it is. And he just wants to get married as an intimate tie.

Vrox: Doesn’t give a shit but would do anything to make Jesse happy.

June: HhahahAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahAHAHA no.

27. What causes them to feel dread?

Jesse: Any kind of weird looks in public, people he cares about running late, having anything around his neck, sleeping in the same room as other people (asides from Vrox.)

Vrox: Not being able to contact his (admittedly few) loved ones for whatever reason, and really not much else. Vrox doesn’t dread a lot.

June: Literally anything to do with their past, being shown affection, knowing they have to go out to a public gathering bc they are a big introvert, knowing they need to sleep at some point.

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

Jesse: He tries damn hard to. you’re doin great sweetie.

Vrox: Has no real ideals and still disappoints himself on a regular basis.

June: They don’t really have any ideas other than ‘be a snarky asshole’ and they sure live up to that.

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

Jesse: Vrox. He kept him safe when he needed it most, supported him through everything, always encouraged him to kick ass and do what he thinks is right.

Vrox: Jesse. He taught him that it was okay to let people in and to be soft, that just because he was a demon doesn’t mean he has to let it define everything he is.

June: Dante. He showed them a way out and helped them build a life, always there to support them. And Taco, of course.

33: Could they be considered lazy?

Jesse: No. At worst, depressed. He’s definitely not lazy, not by a long shot, very active in human rights, painting, social activities.

Vrox: Not really, he’s somebody who always has to be Doing Something.

June: Absolutely. They enjoy it greatly.

35: How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

Jesse: Super hyped and into it, gonna be asking lots of excited questions and listening to every word.

Vrox: Might playfully tease but always encourages whatever it is

June: Will roll their eyes and put on a show of not being interested but you bet your ass they’ll be paying attention and they will care (and anybody who manages to get close to June would know this)

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

Jesse: He’s got an okay memory but if he really needs to remember something he’ll scribble it in his sketchbook

Vrox: Is one of those people who needs to sing the entire ABCs while looking up a word in the dictionary. But he doesn’t really care.

June: Has a good memory, but if they forget something they don’t give a damn. If they forget somebody’s name they’ll just call them by a bunch of different insulting names and ignore the person trying to correct them.

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? 

Jesse: It really depends on what the flaws are, but mostly he’s pretty chill.

Vrox: Is Vrox. Everything pisses him off, what do you expect. He doesn’t take shit.

June: If they care about you, they will tolerate a lot, though they won’t overlook them. If they don’t care about you, prepare to have all your flaws thrown in your face.

41. How do they feel about children?

Jesse: Not good with little kids and feels awkward around them, but he’s good with older kids/teenagers.

Vrox: Is very good with little kids and likes them more than his scarred angry ass will admit.

June: Loves kids but they make them uncomfortable so they avoid them at all costs.

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

Jesse: “Gay, gay, very gay, have you even seen guys? Guys are great, I’m gay, I’m so gay.” (Vrox, in the background: “GAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY”)

Vrox: “I don’t care, if I like you you’re stuck with me.”

June: “The void.”

[xiezuo]

hi! can i request hcs for mark tuan as a dad/with a pregnant s/o? i saw ur post about jb and i loved that, so i was wondering if u could do that for mark too 💕

Masterpost | Rules | WIPs

Of course I can I love Mark so much ;-; Wow these posts do make me softWarning : strong language (like in all my posts lmao)

Mark Yien Tuan (GOT7)

That moment when you lowkey stalk an idol’s dad on Twitter to get an idea of how they’d be as a dad

Ok so I feel like Mark is always super responsible when it comes to sex (wrap it before you tap it kids !)

So if you get pregnant it’s most likely because you planned on having one

So really when you missed your period, you weren’t very surprised, in fact you were really excited

You wanted it to be a surprise so you didn’t tell him about it and bought a pregnancy test on your way back from picking up the groceries

But he knew something was going on because you were suddenly so ??? Weirdly happy and giggly ????? He knew you were planning something

Which you were

So Mark had to leave for promotions for about two weeks and you thought this would be the perfect time to do the pregnancy test without looking suspicious

And surprise surprise (not really), it’s positive !!!!!!!!

You have to refrain yourself from texting all your friends and family about it because you want Mark to be the first to know

And the day before he comes back you let him know you have a little surprise for him at home

Needless to say Mark is super excited and lowkey thinking it has something to do with stuff you do in the bedroom

So he’s a little confused when he comes home and you’re in your pajamas reading a book on the couch in the living room

And he doesn’t even notice the huge banner on top of the couch that says “welcome home dad” for a good minute or two

But when he does it takes him about 20 seconds to register the information before he’s smiling and giggling like an idiot because he’s just ???? So happy ????? He can’t wait to start a family with you

He picks up your book and throws it somewhere behind him and pulls you into a warm bear hug and doesn’t let go for 30 minutes

The first person you tell after that is Mark’s dad

You both call him on Skype to tell him the good news and lowkey Raymond is almost tearing up and so are you

Being pregnant doesn’t change much to your relationship tbh

Aside from the fact that he compliments you 198165189164 times more and calls you sexy mama constantly

You could be taking out the trash and he’d find a way to make it look like you’re a model on the runway

Really though the fact that you’re pregnant with his child is somehow really appealing to him

But other than that, Mark is pretty chill with it

Being a dad doesn’t freak him out at all and he’s confident you’ll both do an amazing job

Parenting books ? Prenatal classes ? What are those ? Mark doesn’t know

He’s a “we’ll figure things out once we get there” kind of guy

He also respects your autonomy so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you and he lets you do your things on your own

But if you ask for help because you can’t do something then he’s there in 0.2 seconds

Lowkey wishes it’s a girl but is still very and if not even happier when you find out you’re expecting a boy

And he can’t help but go into stereotypical father-son territory where he already makes plans about teaching your son how to play sports

But then catches himself and says that he’ll also teach him about arts and music if that’s what your kid’s into

I feel like he doesn’t do anything fancy to tell the boys about your pregnancy

In fact they end up finding out on their own when you’re all hanging out and you turn down the drinks they offer

And they’re like ????? You never did that before

And it’s Jackson who just assumes you’re pregnant and yells it so everyone else hears

And lowkey they’re all mad because Mark never told them but he’s just like “the subject never came up”

Because to him it’s just a normal thing that you’re pregnant

A similar thing happens when it’s time to announce to the world that you’re expecting

Like you kinda lay low when the baby bump starts showing so you and Mark are rarely seen together in public anymore, if ever

The fans are concerned and continuously ask Mark on social media

So Mark eventually decides to post an update about you on Twitter, saying everything is fine and that you’re just being careful not to put the baby in dangerous situations

Let’s just say Twitter goes wild that day

But other than that, the pregnancy goes smoothly

He makes fun of your weird cravings all the time too

Anyways

As calm as he was during the pregnancy, when it’s time to give birth it’s a whole other story

You wake him up in the middle of the night to complain about really bad cramps

And they feel nothing like the ones you’ve been experiencing for the past 9 months, this shit’s the real deal

And he’s up and ready in 2 seconds, doesn’t even take the time to get dressed, and he’s already out the door with your hospital bag in hand

Ends up coming back to help you walk to the car but he’s freaking out

Speed limit ? Stop signs ? Red lights ? What are those ? You’re thankful it’s 2AM and no one’s on the road because Mark would’ve caused accidents with his reckless driving

When you arrive at the hospital, he’s still freaking out and nearly causing a scene, nearly shouting at random nurses for help

You end up being the one having to calm him down despite being in so much pain

Eventually someone comes in and brings you to an exam room to determine if labor as begun or if you’re just experiencing Braxton Hickscontractions

Turns out you’re not and the doctor can already feel the baby’s head trying to come out

You’re rushed into the delivery room and Mark has trouble keeping up with everything

Boy does he regret not reading those books Jaebum bought for you because he has no idea what’s happening

He tries his best to stay strong for you because you’re screaming and you’re very obviously in pain

He ends up being completely useless

When morning comes he starts getting phone calls from the other members because he’s missing practice and he loses his temper and just texts them “my son is being born shut the fuck up this is more important”

30 minutes later the whole group is in the hallway in front of your room waiting for it to be over

Mark ends up joining them and by joining them I mean you end up kicking him out of the room because as much as he tries hiding the fact that he’s freaking out, he can’t, and you can’t deal with this shit while you’re pushing out a 15 lbs baby out of your vagina

After what felt like an eternity, he finally hears your baby’s cries and it just sounds like music to his ears

He comes back into the room to see this tiny little thing in your arms and his heart stops beating

You’re sweaty and panting heavily and you look like you’ve been run over by a truck but you’ve never looked so beautiful to him than in this moment

He carefully walks up to you and kneels right next to you, resting his head on the bed and stares at his son in your arms while the boys not-so-sneakily take pictures from the door frame

Mark is lowkey scared to hold him when you ask if he wants to because he’s scared he’s going to break him

But once he holds your son into his arms he doesn’t want to let go

And he shamelessly shows him off to the other boys like “look at this beautiful little thing that I made, isn’t he the most handsome boy you’ve ever seen in your life”

He will forever deny it but he cried when the little boy reached out to touch his face

But the honeymoon cuts short after you bring him home

Not really but Mark is the parent who keeps track of whose turn it is to get up to take care of the baby when he starts crying in the middle of the night

Which is every two hours for the first 6 months, at least

And his job doesn’t allow him to take long breaks so he never really stop doing idol things after your son is born, but he makes sure he’s never away from home for too long at once

If he has to leave the country for a long time, he insists on bringing you both along with him

Wants your son to have a great relationship with his grandparents so once your son grows a bit older, he travels a lot to L.A. with him so he can spend some time with Papa and Mama Tuan

I can see Papa Tuan tweeting about his grandson a lot whenever he visits, never missing an opportunity to roast Mark by making it look like your son is already better than him at everything

The fans love it because it’s so cute

As a dad, I feel like Mark is really chill and he respects your son’s opinions, personality and most importantly his privacy

I feel like he’s also very open to talk about anything to him and always answers his questions no matter how many he’s asking

And he’s very honest with him

6-year-old son : “Dad, how are babies made ?”

Mark : “Babies happen when a man and a woman have unprotected sex”

6-year-old son : “What’s sex ?”

You, shouting from the other room : “Something you should only do with someone you love after you marry them !!!!!!”

Mark : *dies of laughter* “Funny you say that since we we weren’t married when—”

You : “Finish that sentence and I’ll make sure marriage never happens”

I also feel like Mark would try his best to make sure he never witnesses when you guys are fighting

And you both mutually agreed that if there’s something that needs to be talked about, it has to be done in private with the doors closed and no shouting

He also doesn’t hold back with the affection he gives you when your son is around so he can grow up knowing what a healthy relationship looks like

I feel like he’s all in for your son experiencing life on his own but he does have some boundaries that if your son happens to cross, things aren’t gonna be so pretty

But your son has so much respect for his dad that the idea of testing his limits never really crosses his mind

In his teenage years your son thinks Mark is embarrassing but literally all his friends think he’s really cool

Mark will forever stay young at heart so it’s easy for him to connect to his son’s friends

Overall Mark would be an amazing dad, and if he ever has problems I feel like he wouldn’t hesitate to ask his own dad for advice