#we can never get in the Great Name Debate too much on this blog lmao

[snapedefender]

not to get into the Great Name Debate again but whenever someone suggests people harry could have named albus severus after instead of dumbledore and snape, it's always like. so obvious WHY he didn't pick those particular names. "he could have named him after remus!" teddy's middle name is literally remus. already taken. "what about fred?" i'm pretty sure it was an unspoken agreement amongst the weasleys that george would get to name any potential kid of his after fred, which he did. "what about sirius?" james sirius is harry's firstborn son. try again. "regulus?" why would harry name his child after some guy he didn't even know? regulus helped them out that ONE time.

hthe arguments about this is are the stupidest bullshit i've ever seen and i say that as a longtime snape fan lmao. it's like some of these people have never seen a narrative arc in their fucking lives and have chosen to actively forget that hp is a there's a book.

there's a REASON harry names his kid after dumbledore and snape. these are people who arguably committed some pretty heinous damage against him in different ways - dumbledore literally raised him as a sacrifice. snape was cruel to him many times over. choosing to name his kid after them is an act of forgivness so in line with harry's values and character it's honestly fucking wild to me that people still complain about it to this day. yes, of course harry would name his child after people who hated or used him. harry forgiving them anyway, loving them anyway - that's the core of his character. he's the one who still shakes hands with dudley even after all the shit he put harry through, the one who goes back to save draco, the one who gives narcissa hope about her son, who sees snape being bullied as a teenager and sympathizes. harry recognizing that these are two very flawed men who nonetheless changed him - harry choosing to honor them because he knows no one else will - god how is that a surprise to anyone?

and, even setting that aside, it's not somehow being "ungrateful" for harry to name his kid albus severus instead of, say, regulus. (a dead man harry never fucking met!!!!! who did nothing for him!!!! what the fuck is that argument!!!! HE'S A DEAD MAN HARRY NEVER MET!!!!) i see that argument a lot when people want to say harry should have named his kid after remus or hagrid or something but like you say - remus has his namesake!!! harry wouldn't step on that!!!! and the same goes for fred - of course he's giving that to george's kid!!!! what the fuck!!!!

more to the point... less so for dumbledore (who i imagine inspired at least some albus babies) but who is going to name their kid after snape? who is going to honor snape? snape did so much for the war and for harry - and no one was going to even remember him, not as he should have been remembered. i think harry's choice partly comes from that; remus and fred have people who loved and remember them. hell, so do regulus and hagrid. but snape? if harry doesn't honor his memory, who will?

it's just stupid. people didn't like the name and then they decided to be absolutely insufferable about it. but albus severus was a perfect choice for a name for harry's kid and it IS the hill i will die on.

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

Some of y'all shit on so many of the world champions in this sport so easily and it shows.

You can disagree on who you think the goat driver is (personally it's Michael for me and he probably always will be, he's who a supported as kid and even little me who knew nothing about racing was awestruck by his driving but I can acknowledge my bias while I also remind you of the fact he's the only driver with a 100% podium finish for an entire season lmao sorry) but you certainly don't need to tear another driver down to hype one up.

It's also pretty impossible to name an absolute goat F1 driver, because you can't really compare say Lewis to Jim Clark because Clark's life and career got cut so tragically short, and you do have to factor in the difference between the cars (you can't compare say Fangio's Ferrari to say Michael or Kimi's, even though all *3 cars (*technically 7 cars since Fangio & Kimi won one championship each with Ferrari & Michael won 5 but I digress) won a championship because the cars simply don't have all the same capabilities or technology and as much as people debate what a past driver like say Hunt could do in a younger more technically advanced car that also was a wdc winning car like Mika's or Lewis' respective McLarens, we'll never truly know because so many drivers have passed on and even so you can't really compare people after the end of their career to drivers still at the beginning because you genuinely don't know what a younger driver will truly be capable of. Unless you're Niki Lauda then you're pretty much always on the money with your observations). Different eras bring different talents to the forefront, every era has it's own goat.

A lot of you also don't understand how hard it actually is to win a championship, it's only getting harder every year as the schedule gets longer. It takes everything and more and sometimes that still isn't enough. And not every driver that wins is going to break the all time record, that doesn't negate their talent. Senna is held up as one of the all times greats and he has three to Fangio's five world championships (the record at the time Senna was racing which was eventually broken by Michael and of course Senna's career and life like Clark's got cut tragically short, once again proving my point that you can't really choose one standalone drivers as the goat). Mansell, Nico, Jenson, Kimi, Jacques Villeneuve to name a few only took one championship home but they all had incredible careers in the sport. People forgot that not every driver wants to beat the record, Hunt wanted a championship to prove that he was capable of it, he did and retired a year later because he no longer owed anybody anything, he'd already proven himself. Others like Moss, Barrichello, Ickx to name a few never did get that title but they also had incredible careers in the sport.

A lot of you do need to put respect on their names because you're far too quick to disrespect their accomplishments and achievements while trying to shit on Max. "It took so long for him to win it he's been in seven seasons" it took Jenson ten, Nico eleven, Mansell thirteen and there's six years between Lewis' first and second title. "He'll only win one" you say as an insult (and as if you know the outcome of every future season), as if every driver on the grid wouldn't nearly kill for just one (or one more in the case of Seb Nando & Lewis) or as if the achievements of the drivers I mentioned earlier (and of others I neglected to mention) mean nothing. Some of you need to start putting respect on their names.

"We don't have to like every driver", I'm not saying you do but you certainly don't need to tear them down to hype your fav up. It's also a lil concerning when your blog is more full of anti posts for a driver you dislike than posts supporting for your fav. Life's far too short to spend so much time on hate. The sooner some of you learn to process your anger and let it go, the better.

[visd3stele]

modern Jily texting au blurb

summary: Lily is a newly published author and her story hits big. James is a talented artist. Texts and flirting never miss.

TW: none (well, not proof read, cringey? the first time writing something like this and it feels weird but I had to take this out of my system lmao)

stay safe on the internet, tho. don't meet up with shady people. make sure you're location is known by a close person. if something/someone makes you uncomfortable, you are allowed to back off and leave it at that.

A/N: I searched the username I used and found no one with that name, but if it's a glitch and there is an actual blog that I couldn't find, it's not based on them.

fanart credit to: I have no idea, found it on pinterest. Please let me know if you do.

masterlist and requests

Lily Evans smiled fondly at the shelves in the library. Standing proudly, her book looked back at her. The beautiful cover she never dared imagine until now. The touchable papers, more than an image in her mind. People passing her by, taking a copy in their hands and tucking it under their arm to purchase it.

It warmed her heart. Everything about her journey as an author. The reviews she read, the discussion she heard of her story. The fans simply enjoying themselves, escaping into her universe. And all the amazing art she was send. Talented people all over the world painted or sketched her characters and were kind enough to share it with her as well.

Lily jumped shortly when her phone beeped inside her pocket. Thinking of the devil, she mused to herself amused. Lily was tagged in another post. A beautiful art of her main characters dressed in halloween costumes. It made her laugh so much she couldn't resist reblogging it.

I absolutely love this! <3

Not a minute later, she received a message. Thanks so much, beautiful, it read. Of course, it was easy to be inspired by such a compling story ;)

Why, thank you! You're quite talented yourself.

After she typed the reply, Lily checked the id. The name prongsart next to a picture of a stag made her snort, but she had to admit, the guy knew his way with a pencil and a brush. There were some unfinished digital art pieces too. And a lot of them were based on her book. Lily doubled tapped each she could find. To be fair, the guy deserved it.

Validation, my love language. Came the message from prongsart soon after.

Really? You shouldn't doubt yourself. I love seeing my characters brought to life.

Great. Cool. I have an idea or two on how you could repay me if you're up for it.

Lily rolled her eyes at the phone screen. Scoffing at the bold implication of this boy, she typed quickly: Your work was voluntarily done. Payment isn't requiered.

True. But it's always welcomed.

Lily shook her head and sighed. Enough texting strangers for a day.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Sorry for being an arse the other day.

Lily's phone opened with the notification. The deer boy, as she nicknamed him in her head, texted her again. Attatched to it was a comic apology gif.

Before she could reply, another text showed on her screen: Do I get another chance?

Lily bit her lip, debating with her eyebrows furrowed and mind still a bit foggy with sleep. As a sunday afternoon, she allowed herself a lazy day in bed, drifting in and out of dreams.

Another chance to what, exactly? Because when in doubt, stole the time with more questions.

Talk to you and not come off as a creep

Are you sure it is within your abilities?

Tell you what: if I misbehave again, you can block me and I'd report the account myself.

I'd've blocked you anyway, don't need your permission. And how would I know you'll keep that promise?

Follow your gut? Lily chuckled lightly at his words. She has been told not to speak with strangers online, but this deer boy wasn't so bad. He made her laugh and his talent was drawing her in to him.

You want me to trust you? I don't even know your name.

James. James Fleamount Potter. And to make it even, I'm from London as well. College student.

Lily Evans dropped her body weight on her elbows, leaning on the soft matresses of her bed. She had all those information about herself made public when she became a bestseller author and the redhead writer couldn't help find James' oversharing rather cute.

Let me guess. Art?

Bet on it.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Lily and James were talking for over a month now. They found out each other's favorite movies, foods, their wildest dreams and biggest fears. She even admited to never truly come to terms of her and her sister's alienation from one another. And he shared the deep betrayal of a friend that led to a terrible accident to fall upon him.

I'm sorry for that. Are you better now?

Its fine Lily-pad. I'm sorry about your sister.

Lily-pad?

Well, if you call me Prongs...

I don't?

You should. Everybody does.

Weird. What's up with that, anyway?

There was a lack of response, the screen showing him typing for about five minutes. Whe James finally did sent his message, it was only a "long story" and a tired emoji.

Come on! Now I'm even more curios...

It really isn't something to drop over a writen convo.

That bad?

Not bad. Odd, maybe.

Lily has been waiting for a reason to see him for quite some time now. So, before she could change her mind lut of nerves, she sent him a quick question and went offline.

The next morning Lily woke up to a new text from James.

Can't have enough of me, Lily-pad?

The story better be worth it, deer boy.

Prongs*

Not until I know why.

Fine. Meet me in the campus, at the coffee stand. Sounds good?

Perfect.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

James Potter's story proved to be wild and entertaining. And after that first date, many others followed. A clear path to a life long love. Who would have thought it began with one good book and a pretty drawing?

[kondo-hijikata]

My most knowledgeable Kondou knower, can I ask you what makes a Kondou RP blog an actual decent Kondou RP blog? What does it take to get this man on paper correctly? What are your tips (if you'd not mind to share!)

*blush blush* you flatter me. D: I can rattle off some info but it’s important for me to toss out the disclaimer: writing is based on interpretation so if anyone happens to disagree with what I lay out here, please go on with how you want to write and ignore me. Why am I saying that? I know how easy it is to see some random post on writing or characterization and feel demotivated. I’m majorly MAJORLY salty about how modern media snubs him and pushes him aside, so if you’re interested in writing Kondo’s character, I’m already supporting you.

As with any character, it depends on what universe/series you’re writing for but I think all the Kat-chans I’ve encountered can fit into some of the same qualities and share the same historical background.

- He is an ideal samurai through and through. That means he’s loyal to the core of his very soul to the Tokugawa regime and sticks to his convictions. He will die for the shogunate. He will send his soldiers to die for the shogunate. Protecting the Tokugawa is his number one priority.

- He has great pride in being a samurai and honoring what it means to really be one because of his roots. Though his father was well-off, he still hailed from a farming family which was the lowest societal class. Before the Edo era, shogun Toyotomi Hideyoshi banned the ownership of swords and other weapons from anyone who wasn’t a samurai. When you’re living in rural areas though, the government can’t protect you from thieves and the like, so farmers studied kenjutsu to look after their own lands and possessions. Kondo was dedicated in his practice and while his father was away, he (as a teenager) and his brothers stopped thieves from raiding their house. His talents were noticed by Kondo Shusuke from the Shieikan, who was looking for an heir. Shusuke went on to adopt him and therefore taking him from the lowest class to the highest. Amazing, incredible. You’re doing great, sweetie!

- At this point in the Edo era, samurai were said to have become lazy as there were no wars to fight in. Kondo rejected this and was dedicated to being what he believed was the ideal spirit of bushi. He was respectful in how he spoke to superiors and other samurai.

- He went through several name changes throughout his life. He was born as Miyagawa Katsugoro. Upon adoption, he took the name Shimazaki Katsuta. When he succeeded in taking over the Shieikan, he was known as Kondo Isami. Toward the end of his life when the Shinsengumi returned to Edo, he was known by the aliases Okubo Tsuyoshi and Okubo Yamato to protect his identity from Shinsengumi enemies quickly closing in on the east.

- He could be good-natured around his friends and had a sense of humor (yes, I’m talking about the good old fist in the mouth) but don’t mistake this for stupidity or naivety. He was extremely knowledgeable about politics and current events. He could debate and wasn’t intimidated to call out anyone on their bullshit. He had the ear of Matsudaira Katamori and even the shogun at one point.

- He was a born leader with magnetism who was capable of inspiring and commanding the respect of those around him. The first members of the Shinsengumi had sworn loyalty to him as their teacher at the Shieikan and stayed at his side for most of the war. Even after Nagakura split from the group much later citing disapproval of Kondo and Hijikata’s “egos”, he went on to build a grave to honor them.

- Speaking of Hijikata, a lot of media today portrays him as the main decision maker with Kondo as some frivolous figurehead who doesn’t know left from right. Pshhh, no. If Hijikata somehow could know his popularity succeeds Kondo’s in this age, I wager he’d be ridiculously upset. Kondo lived to serve and protect the shogunate as Hijikata lived to serve and protect Kondo. He was instrumental in forming the Shinsengumi and absolutely had say in many things, but that didn’t make Kondo irrelevant or incompetent.

- Kondo was a warrior. He killed his enemies, and a lot of them. I can sit here and romanticize about how he was a nerd as a kid who loved reading or how he practiced calligraphy at night in Kyoto, but it can’t be forgotten that he was a soldier fighting a war. He’d seen some shit. He’d done some shit.

- Let’s talk about the Roshigumi! Hundreds of ronin were rounded up in the east by Kiyokawa Hachiro. They would march to Kyoto to stop anti-Tokugawa forces (lookin at u, Choshu) in their tracks. Upon arriving in the west though, Kiyokawa was like “lmao jk yall. we’re actually opposing Tokugawa and now we all have to walk back to the east and have a battle in Yokohama.” Kondo, ever loyal to Tokugawa, refused. He and his Shieikan men stayed behind and troublesome Serizawa did too since he had no place to go. Serizawa refused to acknowledge Kondo as the leader, so they compromised on having both of them lead. We all know what happened there, Serizawa did a lot of terrible things. Kondo had to clean up his messes and make excuses for his behavior, while trying to make a name for the Roshigumi and gain enough rep to be noticed by Matsudaira. Eventually, he did gain that attention and from there, Matsudaira went on to rely on Kondo’s expertise and his men to keep Choshu down. Like his adoption into the samurai class, this was no easy feat and I’m immensely impressed that he managed to do this.

- HE’S NOT AN OLD MAN. ffs, another thing most modern media would have us believe is that he’s a decade or more older than Hijikata. Kondo was born in November 1834. Hijikata was born in May 1835.

- He was said to be average height (around 5′4/167-ish cm iirc?) with a very athletic build from all the training.

- The last Tokugawa shogun Yoshinobu (*HISS*) and naval commander Katsu Kaishu (*DOUBLE HISS*) expected Kondo and his Shinsengumi to either die off or disband after they fled Kyoto. When he showed up with his men in the east, they didn’t know what to do with them. Katsu then ordered Kondo to change the group name from Shinsengumi to Kouyo-Chinbutai and take Kofu castle where they were severely outnumbered. Basically, he was giving them all a place to die. They’d managed to get some promises of recruits which never showed up, lost the battle, and needed to retreat. The group then settled temporarily in Nagareyama.

- Though there’s no official confirmation, he was executed for a crime he very likely didn’t commit: the assassination of Sakamoto. A member of the Mimawarigumi claimed responsibility for it years later. Sakamoto was a legend in his home of Tosa and people were understandably infuriated at his murder. Kondo was the scapegoat for it. He surrendered himself at Nagareyama to allow the remaining soldiers to escape. Hijikata wanted to surrender himself at the same time so he would die with Kondo, but Kondo insisted he keep carrying their banner and leading the group. I’m not crying, you’re crying.

- His sexuality and relationships are wide open to your interpretation. His marriage to Tsune was arranged, like many were in that time period. He had concubines in Kyoto, Miyuki being the most famous. These are broad statements I’m making here that can’t speak for every person but.... Same sex relationships (marriage/procreation) weren’t accepted because the point of that was to produce children...but same sex relations (physical and emotional connection) among men were rampant. There’s historical evidence from a letter Kondo wrote that he was perfectly aware it was going on in the Shinsengumi. Shinsengumi members went on to say Kondo and Hijikata were two halves of one whole. Again, Nagakura built them a joint grave. You decide. I already have. lmao

- Whether you romantically pair them together or not though, Kondo was the most important person in Hijikata’s life and vice versa. They had an indestructible bond, not even severed by Kondo’s execution. Hijikata fought on to clear Kondo’s name after his death.

WOW THIS GOT LONG......

The tl;dr here is, if I were writing Kondo in rp, these are the qualities I would give him: committed to living his life under bushi code (which has likely been overly romanticized compared to reality but hey), committed to serving the Tokugawa, can be friendly with his closest friends but a little colder with soldiers/others he isn’t close to, knows how to fight, knows politics, knows how to debate and hold his own. Genuinely likeable by nature, has the respect of his followers, has the respect of Matsudaira after proving himself. Has fierce loyalty from his men and even after some leave the group, they won’t let anyone drag his name. Strong-willed and stubborn on political issues he backs. Reflective and thoughtful in down time. Reliable to those who depend on him. Quiet and calculating in groups but absolutely willing to speak up when he disagrees. And never ever ever forgiving of the Satcho coup, or anyone who supports it.

[arinlangdon]

reactions again. i have a lot to say and there’s nowhere better to dump it all than my online blog which i treat as a stream-of-consciousness public diary/liveblog of my love affair with this fictional character.

episode 7

ah yes, the memory headaches are back, sooner than ever. i hope this means FMC will be regaining her memories sooner in this route too. i think it would be more interesting to see her navigate a route while remembering everything about her life from before, for multiple reasons. after all, every route ended with that, so far, and we didn’t explore much about what that means. the route that centers on 2/3 of the triad seems like the perfect opportunity to do so.

so Arin used to have panic attacks, confirmed? precious anxiety baby

love the Humpty Dumpty bit

i love how they reference giving her the moon again. “I gave it to you, and it’ll ground you” and it’s a secret between her and them how they did it. augh, too romantic. (also, blush count for this set: 1)

“Yikes, do you even sleep?” i ask myself this every day, Jackie. does Arin ever use that plush-looking bed? a mystery for the ages. she’s right though, Arin is far too busy for their own good. they know everything except for the meaning of the word “relaxation”

i see we’re speaking in code now. i love Ever After Academy, the series where frogs are really head librarians and rabbits are actually cat-dog-rabbit-dragon-things, and men named Wolf aren’t actually werewolves

“Arin constantly skips meals due to being too busy” headcanon regretfully confirmed. Arin nO

“FMC is always trying weird new flavors of desserts” headcanon also confirmed lol. this girl, always so adventurous. but also, “better than getting the same thing every time”? it’s true, novelty is necessary. a woman after my own heart.

oh yes, now i can check “heart scene where you help Arin relax and have fun” off my wish list. right above that is “pluck the coffee right out of their hands, march them straight to bed and tuck them in, and maybe cuddle a bit”, and right below it is “plan a special date where you block off a full 24 hours of free time for Arin so you can spend the whole day together”. (Voltage, i have great ideas, hire me now)

Arin blush count: 2. oh look at these two shy idiots who can only dance around their feelings. surely they have to have some clue that their feelings are mutual? they keep trying to stop themselves from kissing the other. it’s driving me nuts. these fools! i push them together like a child pretending to make their dolls kiss.

episode 8

i’m sure they wrote in the explanation for the terrarium as it’s a holdover from Ezra’s route, but i think it’s funny to think that the siblings kept the terrarium all these years and Arin never knew about it. Arin ur not the only one with secrets

again, i do like how Arin keeps referencing the moon. moon rabbit. moon rabbit!!

oh here comes the angst from Arin keeping secrets from FMC for good reasons but not even being able to tell her the reasons. we all saw this coming from a mile away, but it still hurts. :(

wow i cannot wait to find out all of Arin’s secrets :D including their personal ones. (does that make me sound creepy? oops)

more dragon lore, and a debate between Nora and Lucas about dragons? yes please.

as an aside: i can’t believe it’s taken me this long to mention it, but i’m peeved at how the writing in this route keeps referring to Arin as “themselves” when they’re singular. “themself” may not be a familiar word, but it feels the most correct when referring to an individual. “herselves” and “himselves” isn’t a thing.

“Arin is a terrible singer” headcanon confirmed. Arin has a lovely voice but is a rubbish singer, i love it. keep the doors coming, Charlie, i’m on a roll today.

oh god, more embarrassing Arin stories, i am living for this. Arin blush count: 3, maybe 4. what exactly did they wind up on top of, FMC? do tell.

i cannot believe Arin has early 2000s boy band music on their phone. is this the real life? lmao this is probably the most surprising fact i’ve learned about them in this entire set, if not the whole route so far. Arin’s dignity: dropping like a stone. this is hilarious, i love it. god. seriously though, which song was it—

episode 9

can’t help but try to read ulterior motives into Jackie’s every move, and failing because we don’t know enough yet. trying to book a tutoring session with Arin, peeping into FMC’s house’s window, tipping off FMC about Darla’s scheming, being overly invested in the fairytale friends’ well-being? she’s the prime suspect for being the Big Bad of this route, and possibly the Queen of Hearts from the Alice duology, yet she hasn’t done anything outright villainous yet. she’s actually been fairly friendly and helpful. Jackie, what is your deal

Arin blush count: 5. wow careful Arin, your face will get stuck like that and you’ll pass out from lack of blood flow to the rest of your body

it’s still hard getting used to the knowledge that Arin is and was FMC’s best friend. it boggles my mind.

but also i want to imagine them as kiddos hanging out in her room and having fun. adorable. teen flashbacks when :’(

“you’re special to me” wow surefire arrow to my heart oof. Arin blush count: 6.

oh no, again with the holding back, you clods. you lovestruck idiots. you silly dumdums. being a 20-something and having feelings for your best friend is hard. it’s hard and nobody understands. :( when are they going to talk about this? when are they going to come out and say something?? normally FMC is much more straightforward than this, but i guess when it comes to a friendship you’ve cultivated for years, even the bravest people hesitate to rock the boat. but it’ll be all the more satisfying when they actually reach that point.

watching Arin put up the walls again, i can just hear them thinking “conceal, don’t feel”. “remove all magic, but leave the fun” ahahaha alright that’s enough

it’s nice to see FMC seeking out the company and advice of the fairytale trio in this route, especially Nora. those girls, always so close. she really is the only female friend FMC has, until Darla becomes her friend.

so much for hiding magic from MMC! cat’s out the bag sooner than i thought, and Arin’s not going to be happy about it. now they’re going to be pulling double duty trying to keep both siblings from a-sploding their heads by accident. poor Arin

did FMC explain the plan for making things right (whatever “things” are) and restoring their memories? or did she just leave them to wait it out indefinitely? oh no

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #269

“why aren’t you scared of me, why do you care for me, when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”

What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual. What are you obsessed with right now? lol y'all know my staple stuff I'm always obsessed with, so two recent ones are Skillet (I've been binging soooo hard) and drawing again! What piercings do you want? A lot, jfc. More than any, I want collarbone dermals once I lose enough weight to where they're prominent. I've been on a goddamn weight loss plateau for two years. What’s your favorite show to binge? None. I generally don't enjoy binging too much. Do you watch porn? No, not interested. Do you have a secret sideblog? lol this survey blog. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? No. I very briefly considered getting one pierced, but I won't. Are you angry with anyone right now? Not like... actively. But passively it's there. What tattoos do you want? I refuse to die until I'm P A I N T E D  F O R  T H E  G O D S. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Absolutely paperback books. It feels more "real," something to dive into, and it's easier to see and understand how far you're in. We talked about this in Writing once, was an interesting convo. Plus the smell of books, aaaaaahhhhh. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yes How many followers do you have? On here? *checks* 265. Do you read erotica? No, I'd feel SUPER uncomfortable. That's why 50 Shades has never appealed to me. Have you ever gotten into an accident with you parents’ car? No. Ever thought of just picking up and moving far away? Oh yes. What’s the wallpaper on your computer? My lock screen is the Halo of the Sun from SH, and my actual desktop wallpaper is my favorite closeup of my late pup Teddy. What is the last thing/person you took a picture of? Probably a stupid Facebook meme to show Sara or something lmao. Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular. Otep. Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)? I'm sure I could. What is the first vehicle you recall your parents/guardians owning? Mom had a blue/greenish van for most of my childhood, while Dad had this old tan thing that he nicknamed "Frida the Cheetah" lmao. He had that damn car forever. Have you ever seen counterfeit money? Not knowingly. Have you ever lost a pet you were attached to? Well of course. I grew up with tons of pets. What was the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? Probably texting back "fuck you" to Mom when she was being really shitty when I was having a breakdown. Pick one: laundry, dishes, or vacuuming? I'd pick vacuuming over the others any day. Have you ever moved and had to change schools growing up? No. You are forced to move out-of-state. Where do you go? I literally want to move to Canada. The highway and back roads take you to the same place; choose your route. Back roads, probably. You’re going to be a mom/dad; what do you think/do? Have a fucking panic attack. Are you more likely to give up or persist when you’re having trouble? It really depends on the seriousness of the situation, but in most cases I've actually faced, give up. Do you resemble one parent more than the other? I don't think so. Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; do you give them one of yours? If we're compatible, yes. Name a big life event that has taken place for you within the last 2 years. Nothing because my life is incredibly monotonous and stagnant. Name one difficult lesson you’ve learned. Life isn't fair, and life doesn't care. Name one thing you look forward to as you get older. Hey, let's hope I can be a functioning adult before I'm 70. Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying? Yes. Will you usually admit it when you’ve made a mistake? Yeah. Does stress ever affect you physically? If yes, how? Oh, yes. My stomach will absolutely hurt and I sweat more than normal (I say "normal" because I have hyperhidrosis). Did you have a money box as a kid? What shape was it if you did? I don't remember... I know we didn't regularly get an allowance or anything like that, but maybe I'm sure I stored money I was given somewhere? Has kids TV ever frightened you? As a kid, I both watched and feared Courage the Cowardly Dog, lol. Do you have any potted plants in your house? No. If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why? Early '80s! What a time for music, metal fashion, and fun. If you ran a store, what would you sell/have? IF I was more knowledgeable on more species, probably reptiles and more proper care materials and give advice that's not shit. Places like PetSmart and Petco just... disgust me. What part in a movie would you love to play? If I was confident in acting, probably the maniac lmao. I've experienced enough Crazy for that. What's the oldest article of clothing you own? I don't really know, but I do know Mom has a lot of my and my siblings' shirts as we've grown up to knit together a blanket one day. Fuckin cute as hell. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at? Guitar, with that electric twist anyway. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba roars atop Pride Rock in the storm and all the lionesses join in FUCK I get goosebumps out the WAZOO. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Twizzlers, disgoosting. If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be? LGBTQ+ rights is #1, then... hm... probably the pro-choice argument. Or just women rights in general. Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically? Oh man, my friend Mini. She drew pretty well when we were young, but her skill like... increased exponentially with time. She doesn't draw in a *style* I'm envious of, but that growth tho. Most jealous of….intellectually? Girt. What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed? My brain lmao. A famous person you have met? Nobody. Who were the last five people to text you? Dad, Sara, Ashley, Mom, and my grandma. What is your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. Think of the last two people you kissed. Who was more fun? I've explained the "idk if *I* ever actually kissed Girt" before, but just for the sake of the question, I'll just count him. I tbh hated it only ever because why were your lips always wet, sir???? The latest person was Sara, and she kissed fine. If your house was burning down and you only had sixty seconds to grab one or two things, what would you grab and why? Roman and Venus because they're family and I adore them. Out of all the concerts you have been to, which band/singer was the best performer? Alice was great! When was the last time you went miniature golfing? For Jason's and my second or third anniversary, so a long time ago. What’s a song you like from a genre you hate? I always answer this question with a country answer, so let's go rap. Hm. OH, probably a Post Malone song. I actually don't mind him. If you had twin girls what would you name them? Alessandra indisputably, and then the other... maybe like, Josephine. Especially as twins, I'd want two gorgeous, less-heard names. What kind of condoms do you use? I don't use any because I'm not sexually active. Do you say years young or years old [ex: 16 years young or 16 years old]? Man, I miss the days I could confidently say "years young," lmao. Do you have any personality disorders? Avoidant, yes. I'm pretty convinced I have dependent PD, too. Do you shave your arms? Armpits, yes, but not my entire arms. What do you dip your fries in? Ketchup or honey mustard. Has one of your good friends ever moved away? Damn, yeah. I particularly remember this girl from elementary school in I think the 5th grade that I was very close with, yet I don't remember her name now. What color car are you when you play The Game of Life? Dude idr the colors at all. Which hair color do you find the ugliest? I've seen it be pulled off, but generally, yellow. Would you date a guy that wears more make-up than you do? Hell yeah man you fuckin strut that shit. Did you ever play M.A.S.H. when you were little? Ah, I remember that! Sure did. If you were getting married, who would be your maid of honor? My mom. If you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? No, but I would of course. Do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not any more than the average person. Do you chew gum on a regular basis? No. List all of your features that you have ever got compliments on: Do you mean just physical? If that's the case, hair, eyes, smile, uh... I feel like that's it. WAIT I can't remember who but someone once called my nose cute. Have you ever been in a hot air balloon, and if not, would you ever want to go in one? No; yes. What type of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro 5. Is anyone else in the room with you right now? My snake. Do you whiten your teeth with crest white strips? Not Crest, but a different brand, yes. I hate my teeth. Do you listen to local bands? Not really. I will sometimes listen to an old friend's band, at least bits of what they post on Facebook. Nova Mortis, check 'em out if you like pretty heavy metal. Do you have a pool in your back yard? No, but damn do I wish. Do your parents fight? Do they even talk at all? That's why they're divorced. They, especially Mom, avoid doing so whenever they can. Do you drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve? Usually. Do you wear rings? Just one, a friendship ring w/ Sara. Are there any restaurants in walking distance to your house? It'd be quite a long walk, at least by my standards. What was the last picture you uploaded to your Facebook? A picture of Mom and me. Have you ever listened to the same song on repeat for hours on end? YES. When I find a song I really like, I become VERY obsessive. Like I will play it and play it and play it for days. I in general have an extremely obsessive personality. Do you like staying in hotels? I don't have much of an opinion. It's a nice change of space, though. Are musicals interesting or boring? They're cheesy to me. What is your favorite scent of incense? (If you burn it) Okay, HEAR ME OUT. There is legit a kind called "monkey farts" that smells SO FUCKIN GOOD. Jason used to burn incense in his room all the time and that was my favorite one, so I use it now. Where do you normally hang out on the weekends? At home. I'm always at home, regardless of the day. Can you tune a guitar by ear or do you need a tuner? I never could. Do you like love songs? Generally, yes. They're sweet. Would you rather drink 7Up or Sprite? Fun fact: Sprite used to be my FAVORITE soda as a kid. I even had a fuckin Sprite shirt. Now, I hate it. I haven't tasted 7UP in forever. What is your favorite song as of right now? I'm seriously digging Halocene lately, esp their cover of "bury a friend." Have you ever sex texted? This is gonna sound so stupid, but I'm actually not *totally* sure what that is? Just like, dirty talking or like, virtually RPing sex? The former I did when I was fuckin 12 like a goddamn idiot, but not the latter. When's the last time you went out of state? A year and a half (I think?) ago to visit Sara. What was your favorite TV show last year? I didn't *really* have one, at least not actively. Like I didn't devoutly watch anything. Would you know who to talk to if you wanted weed? HAHA I sureeeee do. I wouldn't want any, though. What is your favorite Beatles song? "Hey, Jude." If you could kiss anyone right now, who would it be? I don't want to think about this. What is your favorite energy drink? I don't like energy drinks. Way too intense. Have you ever been to Hooters before? No. When's the last time you tripped? (Literally or, you know) HA, funny I take this survey today because my left foot is either broken or I seriously tore a ligament in it because I fell yesterday. I had to go up a dose on my medication that helps my nightmares, but it's notoriously for lowering your blood pressure, and mine is naturally low. I got up to go to the bathroom and grab breakfast and many times nearly passed out from being so dizzy until I finally fell and my foot bent forward. I couldn't even walk by myself yesterday and am still really struggling today. Our family friend brought the boot she wore when she broke her foot over just a while ago, but if this doesn't help, Mom's demanding I go to the ER. Can you touch your toes? I don't know HOW I can, but I can, I guess from when I did yoga daily and I could pretty much go under my feet. What would you say is the best feeling in the world? Being in love and knowing they're in love with you, too. Have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via Twitter? No. Do you like croissants? YESSSSSSSSSSS. Do you get a lot of traffic outside your house or not? Yes. Mom explained to me why one day because I'd asked, but idr what she said. Do you eat cereal bars? No, I'm a granola bar person. Would you consider yourself healthy? Uh no. Assuming you could speak and understand the language, would you ever study in a foreign, non-English speaking country? Sure, for like a year or so! Doing that in Germany would be amazing. Are you on any prescribed medication? A lot. Do you know any immigrants? I know an illegal one that got deported. I probably know others. Have you ever lived in university or college accommodation before? No. If you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? If you have, do you like it? Very scared. I'm just very dependent and ignorant on how to be an adult. If you could only eat one vegetable for a year (not including potatoes) what would it be? Broccoli. Do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? What is it? Shave, shampoo, facial scrub, this exfoliating brush for your feet, and then body wash. Is there anything that you loved a year ago but just can’t stand now? Hm. I don't really know. What’s the weirdest meat you’ve ever eaten? I took the SMALLEST bite out of it because I couldn't stomach eating it, but after a lot of convincing I tried a microscopic bit out of deer jerky. If you smoke, what brand of cigarettes do you smoke? If you don’t, have you ever tried? Don't smoke and don't want to. Do you like dried fruit at all? what’s your favorite type? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

[ilusionis]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: vinn (or ila, for close friends)     Age: 22       Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: aizen sosuke on here, askin nakk ke vaar (@ levaer) and lille barro (@ firstritter, sideblog) Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): all of them actually. Current Fandom(s): bleach. Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  none. i’ve been debating about making a modern au but i wouldn’t be sure what to explore in it. within the context of bleach, though, i’m very interested in developing a bunch of AUs. My language(s): i’m only confident in writing in italian or english.  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: none.

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  if you want to plot, it would be best to send me an IM and ask me, then we can definitely move to discord if you’d rather. it’s possible to approach me for rp without plotting first, best way would be to send me a meme when i reblog them or simply an ic ask, which i will answer, while memes might get lost. ic asks are good ice-breakers, we can continue plotting from there.

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  i need my partners to be as interested in our plot as i am. it would be great if you already have an idea, but it’s still good if you don’t, i get that coming up with ideas can be hard sometimes; mostly, i require honesty. you can definitely tell me that you got no ideas and i will do my best to help, ask questions, try to spark something. i do require the feeling of having that commitment reciprocated.

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  i tend to straight up drop the conversation lmao. no hard feelings, but if i get the feeling you’re not interested, i will take my distance - i won’t waste my energy on a plot if my partner doesn’t share my enthusiasm. still, you can always approach me again, if you’re feeling up to it / have new ideas / whatever. nice thing of online convos is that they don’t have an expiration date lol.

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  i always ask if they got any ideas to begin with. if my partner already knows, more or less, what kind of dynamic they wanna build with my character(s), that makes it infinitely easier to build something meaningful. it’s still fine if they don’t, i will usually ask a lot of questions regarding their muse’s opinions / feelings / etc., and try to navigate from there. a question i usually ask is: is there any aspect of your muse you’d like to explore? i think that’s a pivotal point in any interaction. 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if they feel like telling me, why not. but usually, i don’t warn when i drop a thread, so it’s not expected of my partners ever. - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  nothing in particular tbh. they can tell me or approach me to start a new thread if they wish to, but it’s not required.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  i might lose interest in a thread, especially if i feel like it’s going nowhere or if the inspiration for it simply doesn’t come. it’s never happened so far that i had to drop a thread because it was making me uncomfortable, but that could still be a reason for me to. in general, though, i would approach my partner in that case. - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  absolutely. i’d rather avoid awkward situations or misunderstandings of any kind; if something’s up, tell me. i also like to communicate with my writing partners (be it in the tags of our threads or in IMs), makes me feel like the enthusiasm is not one-sided and i find it generally pleasant.  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  sure. we gotta stay polite, but honest. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  to have fun, to cultivate my writing skills and my english, and to explore my favorite characters. 

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  i want to develop aizen’s wandenreich verse, because i’m deep in quincy hell and i think his dynamics with quincy muses could be super interesting. anything involving the intricacies of bleach politics is super interesting to me, be it with aizen or with my two quincy muses - who, btw, are also good to explore dynamics between quincies / their culture / relationships etc.

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  i won’t write anything pertaining to sexual assault. 

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: it’s gotten difficult to work with starters such as “you summoned me / do you need anything / did you call for me” etc. i used to receive that kind of starters all the time with aizen, and i can’t come up with something new every damn time. i also have a hard time working with starters / replies that already feel like a closed conversation and don’t give me anything to reply to.

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  i’m not sure i have a type. aizen is pretty much an exception, the only example of an already well-built character i write, since i tend to gravitate around minor ones that don’t have much material and that i can work on and expand without being affected by the fandom’s opinion or whatever. somehow i always tend to rp tall guys-

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  children and teenagers don’t interest me for the most part. characters who don’t have a shred of an opinion or can’t offer any interesting conflicts. overly friendly, mushy, affectionate and flowery characters are really not my cup of tea either. 

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  oh god i have no idea. i’m very laid-back, i guess. i’ll never pressure my partners for replies, i don’t think i’m owed a reply in the first place because we all have lives offline,  so i’ll never take it to heart if a partner drops a thread. if i really feel like our roleplaying styles don’t mesh, it will be at my own discretion to do something about it. another strong aspect i have ....... i think i have a decent grasp on all my muses? especially aizen. of course ur free to disagree lol. also, lately i’ve been p active, so that’s it. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: i’m really slow. i might speed up for my closest friends, with whom i plot / rp regularly, but usually i take quite some time to reply to random unplotted threads. i probably have a thousand other flaws as a rper, but this is the biggest one that comes to my mind rn. 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  i don’t write detailed sex scenes. sorry lmao they’re just not interesting to me. however, i’m super-ok with writing anything around it, like intimate scenes etc. in fact i find it somewhat soothing.  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  the nitty-gritty part is already a no, but i guess also sexual violence and shit like that. it’s a no.

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  all my ships are with snow 8′) and ur never bored with her. in general, i love being able to explore the muses’ relationships, their conflicts and their peaceful moments, especially in relation to canon events! - What is your smut tag?: nsfw / ........ my n*sfw posts are rare anyway.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: to an extent, i prefer pre-est relationships to first meetings - which they can get a bit dull after some time. i’m ok with mostly anything, and only more selective when it comes to relationships that might severely alter my muse’s canon / past / overall character. 

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  not to stroke my own feathers but aizen offers a perfect chance at character development to any and all bleach characters. he’s the main villain, he holds some wild opinions, and whether you agree or disagree with him, he leaves no one indifferent. aizen is the main cornerstone of bleach, and if you want your muse to questions themselves and the system / world around them, interacting with him is the best way to start. also, aizen interacted with a fuckton of people, knows practically everything there is to know, is responsible for significant amount of canon events, so you see ... whatever character you write, aizen has the full potential to be extremely relevant in the course of their development.

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   children, ordinary low-ranked shinigami (i find it hard when it’s out of the blue, even in aizen’s captain and lieutenant verses ... because interactions would likely be only work-related, and won’t go far), characters whose personalities really have nothing to do with aizen. unfortunately, he’s not my easiest muse, and i don’t want to force interactions with him.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  characters who have opinions, some political involvement, in general characters with whom aizen had a dynamic in canon. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  reading, calligraphy, philosophy (especially in-world philosophy), science (again, mostly related to the specificity of the bleach universe), the very careful crafting of his plan- - What do they desire, is their goal?:  kill the soul king and take its place, destroy the institutions of soul society, subdue them. and then rule, as the soul king never did before. - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  the idiosyncracies in their behavior, the particularities, their possible weaknesses.  - What do they value in a person?:    very little, usually. he may appreciate a resolute personality, strength, and intelligence. - What themes do they like talking about?:  speaking mostly of mundane talks, he likes conversing about his interests. it takes a lot for him to share any personal information, though. - Which themes bore them?:  anything about the greater good, friendship, love, very human topics.

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  seeing the soul king, in all things like a ghost stalking his dreams, and well ... spending his early life in rukongai as a whole. being forced to consume other souls in order to survive. the first times his reiatsu killed anyone who tried to get near him.  - What could possibly trigger them?:  it’s rare that he will outwardly show signs of distress, i’d say almost impossible. the few times the soul king still appears in his mind, greatly upsets him though. - What could set them off, enrage them?:  the soul king gets him particularly heated. urahara, as we witnessed. after his defeat, ichigo, to an extent. - What could lead to an instant kill?:  kubo was a coward who didn’t dare let him kill any relevant character, but actually aizen kills very liberally.

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  the soul king, urahara. he has a strong disdain for yamamoto, and that joke of C46. - Is there someone /-thing they love?:    himself. tousen

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  he’s only really easy to approach for bleach characters, who, depending on who they are, have different eligible verses to further facilitate the interaction. humans / powerless bleach characters can’t really interact with him tho. - Where are they usually to find?:  soul society or hueco mundo. i have a verse set in the wandenreich.

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  aizen is not a particularly easy muse, but it’s part of his overall mosaic to be somewhat unapproachable and distant. i’m not out to make him someone he is not, so forgive me in advance if plotting with me turns out to be difficult in a way or another. he’s very dear to me, and i try my best to do him justice! while my main headcanons may not affect our interactions specifically, i still ask my partners to look them up (they’re linked in my about page) because they’re essential to my portrayal and it makes me happy to have them acknowledged. i think that’s all lmao. come visit me over at my quincy boys too.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @skyvar​ I DID IT AT LAST. Tagging:  i don’t know who has been tagged so, you know what to do.

[aquarianlights]

Happy Personal Update Time!!

I know I promised to do this forever ago, but things got busy. So here I am!

Most of you know this is my personal blog, but it has become a lot less personal since pursing medical education. I’m still here, though, and I still love coming here to read all the asks I get and interact with all my followers and all that good stuff. What I really miss is being able to post text posts. They have always been my way of venting and letting go of inward pain, anger, frustration, etc... Text posts/ranting have always been super cathartic for me. But my life is great now and I’m happy to just jump back in to give a long overdue update every once in a while because I miss doing it and I know I still have longtime followers somewhere in that list of people. Haha. Exciting stuff is happening, though!! And I’m very excited to share it, as well.

SO.............this is gonna be long because THERE’S GREAT STUFF HAPPENING!! :D AND I WANT TO SHARE IT ALL!! I hope someone will read this coz man oh man have I come a long fucking way from the whiny little drug addicted suicidal little boy I used to be. Haha. :)

This fall semester is going to be just lovely. I’m going to have the opportunity to work with one of the clubs I’m joining to teach high schoolers how to properly do dissections. I’ll be taught how to properly clean equipment like microscopes and auger plates and such. And I’ll be working alongside a couple of my professors and other club members to mentor high schoolers in some cool biology stuff. :)

The other night, I finally got official international membership with Phi Theta Kappa and also got international membership with the Omega Nu Chapter. I’ll be receiving all that good proof stuff soon like certificates and such, but the reason I’m primarily excited about that is because that opens me up to a TON of scholarship opportunities. Both of those societies give out a fuckton of money every year for academic achievement and with me transferring schools, I’m hoping to be lucky enough to snag some of that.

One of my professors recommended me for a student council officer position and I found out recently that he spoke with another professor in the same department that had me as a student and she got on board with that, but I’m not entirely sure I want to go that route because while I was writing up my essay to submit to the current SGA explaining why they should choose me for one of the officer positions, I really didn’t feel all that passionate at all about it, so I’d much rather someone with a passion for the position have it, but it made me feel good that my professors have that kind of faith in me. I’m still debating on it, though.

Another professor of mine submitted my name for an internship position with a student partnership that eventually leads you to an invite-only online community where you can be set up with more internship opportunities and helps to make connections in your field and all sorts of stuff. The internship has a $200 stipend for the first semester that you do it and a $250 stipend for every following semester that you do it. 

I was going to try it out with her this summer semester, but I had *NO* idea there was so much involved. By the time I had completed my 10 hours of training, I was in shock by the amount of work I was going to need to do to prepare for the role so I’ll actually be taking it on for the first time during Fall semester instead of summer, which is annoying because part of this internship requires you to make a short presentation in every one of the classes that the professor has that term for the students their class (and any other professor in the department who uses the software who may need you), record said lecture and put it up on canvas with the professor for anyone who missed the 1st day of class and for any online classes, be open for any questions after the presentation from both the students and the professor, hold at least 2 hours worth of office hours during the first week, and a *TON* of other stuff that happens prior to the semester before this and after this throughout the semester that would take forever to list. This is annoying that I am having to start in the fall because summer semester has less than HALF the students that fall has. There’s barely anyone there in the summer at all and summer classes are usually very laid back. The teachers are so chill in the summer and usually don’t care much, whereas the Fall semester is serious business and there are TONS of incoming freshman all confused about where they are going and everyone is lost and in a hurry and nervous and it is just total chaos literally everywhere on any campus you go to. So we really wanted to test this out during summer, but there’s just no way. The amount of representatives I have to meet and sit down with and hash out certain details with prior to even making this presentation is going to take me at least a couple weeks and summer semester starts next week. Lol. I only had like 3 weeks from the time my professor submitted my name. Was not nearly enough time.

It’s a very overwhelming internship and the work is... daunting. I mean, it is going to be a *LOT* of work and it is something I have never done before and it will be a style of leadership that I have never had placed on my shoulders before, but everyone has to take that first step at some point in their life. I hope I can do it. I’m going to try... I won’t say I’m not nervous about standing in front of a lecture hall full of students... but I’m probably not as nervous as some would be. I used to hold rally’s in my town square when I was younger to inform the public on the dangers of puppy mills, so I’m quite comfortable with public speaking, but I will say that it has been a good minute since I have done it and I have never stood up in front of a lecture room full of college students who are the same as I am and tried to pretend to know exactly what I’m doing. That’s a little scary to me. Ngl. Lol.

I’m going to be taking American Sign Language as a fluff class to boost my GPA, so I’m really excited about that because I’ve been wanting to learn it really badly. Just wanted to throw that in there haha. :)

That’s about it for the really BIG things for Fall Semester right now, not including like... the normal hard classes, graduating and switching uni’s soon and stuff. Which I’m super excited about!!

BUT!!...This summer is gonna be lit as well!

I got a volunteer position that I’m going to be in orientation for sometime soon (I think next week is what she said) where I’m going to a local shelter and all I’m doing all day is walking dogs, socializing dogs (basically playing with them and getting them comfortable around humans and other dogs so they’re more adoptable), bathing dogs, and basic training (sit, stay, etc...). It is basically my DREAM volunteer position!!

I just remembered reading an article at one point that said “most people don’t know that shelters really need people to just walk the dogs because regular volunteers usually don’t have the time”. And I remembered volunteering at the Humane Society when I was more able bodied than I am now and that was not something I could do now. It was much too physically taxing. Cleaning kennels, washing over 100 dog bowls in a massive sink that I had to stand on a stool to reach, washing tons of worn out dog blankets and toys, carrying heavy loads of laundry, carrying heavy water dishes out to the play yard, filling up buckets and carrying them, scrubbing the floors with a scrubber thing, etc etc etc... like, I could barely do it as able bodied as I was then. There was no slowing down because you had to rotate the dogs out and you only had a certain amount of time to clean the few bowls and toys/beds/towels we had and only a certain amount of time to power wash/spray down the kennels they were in. It was very very fast paced work and one large break in the middle of the day and I had to leave early and I know I could not do that now. Not in a million years. 

Dog walking is something I can do with any size dog. Dog washing is still something I can do and something I have done professionally many times in the grooming industry. Dog socializing is wonderfully cathartic for me AND them. And I’m quite good with basic training, despite what it may seem with Echo...lmao (he just hasn’t been around consistency, which is a huge problem).

So I’m very very excited to get through my orientation and get started on this volunteer position! They were so kind and said that my physical disabilities would be no problem and they could work with me on my pace. I’m really looking forward to this and I’m hoping I can maybe fit it into my schedule when school starts up, even if I have to cut it down to just a couple hours, one day a week.

AND THEN........

In my PERSONAL life...

I’ve made a really cool circle of friends who isn’t intertwined with one of the most toxic people in my life that I really love and will most likely keep in my life forever because I truly believe they can unlearn the toxic behaviour and they’re one of my platonic soul mates. So I now have this really awesome circle of friends that I’m experiencing and learning all these new things about myself and about New Orleans and I keep getting closer with them.

((I may or may not post a rant I wrote up about that, coz it’s painful to talk about. And this is a happy post so it doesn’t go here!!))

I’m learning how to cook through one of those friends. I don’t have enough money to throw at a Hello Fresh subscription, but one of my next door neighbours in my apartment complex has turned into my really good friend and she has a Hello Fresh bi-weekly subscription and it usually is a 2-serving dish and we both live alone and we are both learning to cook for the first time, so we are doing it together. :D She invites me over to her apartment whenever she’s cooking and we’ll just muddle through learning how to cook together. It’s going to be a lot of fun honestly because I have SOOOOO much to learn!! :) Recently got a NutriBullet so I can make protein shakes, but I need to look at recipe’s coz mixing protein powder with just milk or water is awful. Ugh.

I’ve made up my own 30 day challenge for exercising and basically just becoming more healthy and getting my heart and muscles in better shape. June has 30 days so I figured what better way to do a 30 day challenge than on a month that has 30 days lol. Easy to keep track of, right? I made myself a chart and put it on my fridge and everything. Going to keep a log. I’m very excited to see the difference between day 1 and day 30. Going to take pictures for comparison. Idk if 30 days will make that big of a difference, honestly but... we’ll see??? Lol.

I guess this should go up in the school section, but I’m also working on quite a few scholarship entries so we’ll see how that goes!! I had NO idea so many easy essay scholarships were out there!! Keeping it to 1k words is the hard part. :( Eeeeeeeeeeep!!

Been studying for the MCAT’s and tryna find a medical math tutor. It’s gonna be hard, but... we’ll see. Hopefully the MCAT prep classes will help.

I’m in love with deep cleaning and organizing and my neighbour is gonna pay me to clean her apartment and then I’m going over to her mother’s house that she’s renting out (her mother passed away recently and she couldn’t handle staying in the house anymore) to help her Marie Kondo the place. We’re just gonna kind of... go at her own pace, slowly thank everything for doing its job, and get rid of everything that we can and deep clean everything while we are doing it. Probably just take it a day or a week at a time. I’ll be there with her to support her through the process...like if she needs to cry on someone when she sees a certain item or something. I’m excited to help with her journey to recovery and I’m so honoured to be given the chance to be someone’s rock. I love the bond me and my neighbour are developing. I just feel so honoured.

I’m going up to my parents house, then up to Virginia, then hopefully MA towards the end of the summer. Looking forward to the trip quite a bit. :)

HONESTLY... 

I’m just so freakin’ excited. My life is going so wonderfully. Everything is so great. My apartment is wonderful, my relationship with my mom is on the mend because of how well in school I’m doing (you all know that’s all she cares about lol), I have wonderful friends and a great support group, my therapist and I click really well, I’m making opportunities happen and having opportunities open up to me in return, I’m meeting new people and seeing new things, I’m feeling physically healthier than ever (even though my chronic pain is worse than ever), I almost always wake up in a good mood, I’ve been getting a good amount of sleep almost every single night, school is good, connections in the professional world are growing... 

The ONLY thing holding me back right now is money. I’m pretty much living paycheck to paycheck and it is killing me. The amount of things I *WANT* to do but don’t have the money for is just killing me. I’ve been wanting to take dance lessons, but I don’t have the money. Been wanting to sign up to a yoga studio and FINALLY found one IN MY AREA(!!) that had instructors trained in dealing with people with ehlers danlos syndrome (which is crazy coz lots of yoga instructors turn me away when they hear I have ehlers danlos type 3), but I can’t afford it. 

I can barely pay my rent. :| I’m lucky I have EBT, otherwise I literally would not have had any food over the past 2 months. I would have had to choose between having a roof over my head or having food, so thank FUCK I have EBT coz I have a full cabinet and fridge right now. Fucking bless. Lololol.

I’m just so content. There’s a lot of stuff going wrong here and there and a lot of stuff stressing me out, but OVERALL... I couldn’t be happier.

Things have really taken a turn in my life and I have been waiting for them to all come crashing down for 2 years now and they still haven’t and that’s amazing to me.

And there’s my update lol. Hope you enjoyed the Killian Chronicles.  😂 😂 😂 Love and missed you all!  😘

((PS: This has not been proofread and most likely never will be. Free-flow-thought writing is my specialty lol.))

[streetxsims]

Haii 💖💖💖 you inspire me to make a s4 account to post my gameplay but i think nobody will like it because im not as good & im mainly maxis. What are some pros&cons of starting a simming account? 💕

Word?? Glad I could be of inspiration haha :) what do you mean not as good?? There’s a lot of people out there who share the same views/taste with you when it comes to MM style, even if you feel your stuff isn’t “good enough” that’s nothing a little practice can’t fix because we all started somewhere, and probably were all trash at 1st LMAO

I have some “getting started” tips here if you wanna check that outOn to some pros/cons - 

Pros:

Great community to express your love of Sims since we all share that 

A place to chill, get to know/talk to people who’re just like you

Easy to find/keep up with new Custom content or CC in general  

People are always helpful when it comes to anything like CC creating, editing, game setup, picture taking, etc. etc 

Freedom of self expression 

Something to do when you’re waiting for your game to load haha 

Very welcoming(emphasis on this) 

Resourceful for not only sim needs but other helpful resources as well 

A place to learn/see things from different perspectives

Different age groups so you’ll easily find yours 

I honestly think Simblr helps a lot with organization that can be used in real life situations such as school, uni, work, etc, etc.  

You can use your art/digital imaging here in Uni/School to build a portfolio for either gaming, interior design, architecture, or graphic design 

A place to be proud of your art/stories/creations when you have nowhere else to do so 

If you’re into Role Playing/Script writing/Character creating/development this place is for you as well 

Cons: 

[Warning: If you suffer from depression/anxiety I feel you shouldn’t use Simblr as an outlet to “escape” unless you mute/block any form of negativity. Simblr is a trigger on some ends and I feel it’s not safe for some of you who’re easily triggered. Your health is more important. Use other forms to escape harsh reality such as reading ,writing, talking to someone, walking, or practicing other healthy hobbies. This is the internet after all, home to triggers.] 

Pressure to be just “as good” as your peers 

Constant debates/fights about things we can’t control

Being outspoken/straightforward is looked at as “rude”, “entitled”, “stuck up”, “mean”, and last but not least “too popular”  

Lack of creativity; working hard on your aesthetic/style and having someone take every aspect of that down to the way you build, talk; the way your characters/sims speak, act, or look just because they see you getting good feedback they feel if they do the same thing they’ll get the same responses. We all are guilty of being inspired but some turn it to an obsession which results in using you as their blueprint; never liking your post or speaking to you but you always see you in their work  

The constant pressure people put on CC creators to give, give, give which makes them aggravated, which causes them to be a little blunt/nonchalant and villainized  by the “victims” who made them react this way lol 

Touching back on the one above: people feeling entitled to how you run/handle your blog. If you don’t help them with a situation that’s not dire/serious, give them attention, or give them what they want you become a topic in a negative light

People try to project things they don’t like about you into someone else’s mind so that person will not “like you” as well lol 

Too much competition/dire need for notes 

People using you to get their name out their 

Lastly: we all are guilty of being easily pulled into drama, having private conversations, bullying, envious mannerisms, and using our RP/Roleplay characters to express personal issues towards others. Cut that out in 2k18.

Hope this helps you outTY for the love as well :) 

[sssoto]

Creator’s update #1

Hey guys! So I’ve decided to start actually blogging on this blog and tell a bit about the various things I’m working on, share WIPs, music I’ve been digging recently etc. I realise that I rarely post anything, so it seems like I’m super inactive - which is totally not true, I just have so much stuff going on and take a long time to finish things, and I’m also pretty picky about what I put up online lol! For the sake of keeping those of you interested in the loop, I’m gonna start this series of creator’s updates in which I’ll update y’all on the progress I’ve made on my various creative projects. The goal is to give an update a few times a month (hopefully lol)!

This past while I’ve been super inactive in the writing department, but very much productive in the art department, so my writing update will be mostly a summary of what I’ve been doing the past few years up until this point.

Mood: Feelin’ real good cuz my parents finally brought my comfy double bed over from my mum’s place this past weekend, which means no more sleeping on the couch yaaaaaas.

Music I’ve been digging recently:

Skye Sweetnam - Boyhunter So, the other day I randomly listened to this song on my way home from work, and I totally realised that Skye Sweetnam is the perfect voice for my character Caitlyn, and this song totally embodies what Caitlyn is all about lmaoooo. (The song isn’t very accurate to the time period Caitlyn lives in, but it’s super accurate to her character essence and personality, and I just find that so lit hahahah) 

Fallulah - Out of It This song is basically my MC’s theme song?? It’s performed by a Danish artist and was super popular in Denmark a few years back as it was the theme tune to a Danish tv show (a show I loved!). The lyrics are just so Daniel, it’s not even funny. It mostly fits his mental state at the beginning of Renaissance.

Girl’s Day - Love Again Ugh I just love the tune of this song so much, I can’t really place my finger on it, the emotion is just so great. I love the guitar riff especially, and Girl’s Day is a four member girl group, so it’s one of those songs where I can imagine my main girls Annaliese, Caitlyn, Mary and Serena singing as each member lmao.

Nine Muses - Remember Another four member group now, this song is also one where I can imagine my main girls singing each member’s part lmao, and having that aspect to a song always makes it a little better for me! Forreal tho, this new release from Nine Muses slays, and we all know it. The music video haunts me.

Sistar - Lonely This song makes me sad and happy all at once, cuz I’m not ready to say goodbye to Sistar, but at the same time this ending is probably the best one any fan could’ve wished for because there was no drama or anger, just well wishes and hope for the future. I know these girls will go far, and this song just pulls at all my heart strings man. The melody of the bridge and chorus, Dasom and Soyu’s parts in particular, really works for me. And yeah, Sistar has four members too, and once again I can picture my main girls singing as each member lmao. It’s a thing I have, okay?

Moana OST - We Know The Way + Know Who You Are I recently watched this movie, and while I sorta felt like the plot was a bit rushed and tropey in many ways, I totally adored the visuals and the MUSIC OMG. These two songs are my favourite, Lin-Manuel Miranda’s vocals never miss, and Auli’i Cravalho’s high note is gorgeous! Also dat choir in the background tho, and in context with the movie scene that song just makes me irrationally emotional mkay. (That ending was the best twist ever, it definitely lifted the story up a notch for me!)

Writing

So I’m writing a book! You might have seen me mention it a few times already on here, but I’ve not really shared much insight into my process or what sort of book this actually is (other than talking about characters here and there), and as I’ve not been making huge progress lately (I’m in an art state of mind duuuh), I thought that I’d keep this section short and sweet, with a bit of an introduction into what my book project is all about.

I call it a book project because I don’t feel comfortable just calling it a book when I don’t have rights to publish. Technically my book is a fanfiction based on the horror video game Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and as such I don’t own copyright of the small percentage of my story that features the canon elements. However, I take this as seriously as anyone else would writing their own book, because I’ve poured my entire heart and soul into it, and the vast majority of the content (plot, characters and world) is my original creation. It’s my own little big project lol!

You might be familiar with the game, and even if you aren’t, that’s not a prerequisite for reading my book since everything is introduced and set up just as in any regular book. The protagonist is an Englishman named Daniel, and we know little of his past through the game. I won’t go into too much detail on what the game is about (if you really wanna know, you can look it up), but the point of my book is to explore the protagonist’s life from his childhood up to the events of the game and beyond, and afterwards connect his story to the game sequels featuring other protagonists within the same universe. It’s a bit complex and elaborate, which is just the way I like it!

As the games are set at various points during the Victorian era (game #1 is set in Prussia 1839, game #2 is set in France 1858, and game #3 is set in England 1899), you can probably guess that the entire thing will be pretty long. That’s why I’m making it a series! I have at least seven books planned so far (though there’ll definitely be more, since I’m not near the end of the timeline I need to cover yet), and I currently have the first book written and am writing the sequel - however, the first book will need a complete rewrite once I’m finished with book #2, because I’ve since developed and changed a lot of stuff, and I have many new interesting ideas for a more fleshed out version of the first book. Still, the fanfic version is available online, so if you’d like to read it, you can find it here. You’ll get a pretty good idea of the general story and the characters, but keep in mind that it’s super outdated and will be very different after my rewrite!

For reference, this is the list of books that I’ve planned (and titled) so far, so you can keep up with what book of my series I’m talking about at any given point:

I - Amnesia: Memoirs

II - Amnesia: Renaissance

III - Amnesia: Voyage

IV - Amnesia: Noir

V - Amnesia: Encore

VI - Amnesia: Rogue

So what I’m doing right now with this project is revisions. Uuuuggghhhhh. Yes, that’s right, I’m stuck in revision hell. I’ve not even finished the first draft of Renaissance yet (I know, sacrilege, writing blasphemy, don’t start your damn edits until you’ve finished your draft dumbass), but I had some pretty major changes to make, changes so big that it would be a waste of time and effort to go on drafting without implementing them first. Mainly the changes are surrounding 1) a change of ages of my main cast (I aged many characters up a few years), and 2) changing and figuring out the specifics of the illness which my MC’s sister, Hazel, is afflicted with. She’s not such a major character in Renaissance, but she plays a big role in Memoirs, and since I had all these new ideas for the rewrite of that, I wanted to implement the ripple effects in the second book so it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to edit later when Renaissance is a finished 3-400k first draft lmao (I have a lot of words okay?). These changes mostly affect the early chapters of my book - chapters I wrote about three years ago, which means that these early chapters really need a face-lift. In addition to the age and illness change, I wanna revise the first five chapters by cutting the fluff and tightening up the beginning so we get to the action a tiny bit faster. Adding to the fact that these early chapters are three years old, the prose also needs an almost complete rewrite. So long story short, all of the edits are taking a long ass time, and I’m not having a good time lmao. Doesn’t help that I had to stop drafting right at one of the juiciest scenes in my book?!?!? (that’s a lie, it gets juicier, but I was just getting to the real good stuff yanno?)

(Side note: for someone who said that I’d keep this short, it sure turned out long lmao. I just have too many damn words.)

Chapters edited: 2/16 (working on 3 right now and it’s an effin’ pain)

Current total word count: 120,591

Current total chapter count: 17 (the number will go down to 16 once I finish the revisions, as I’m merging two chapters)

Look at all the dumb shit I still have to edit for chapter 3. Look at it.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Art

Man, I’ve been doing a lot of artwork recently, and by a lot, I don’t mean that I’ve finished any.

I think I’ve been focused on developing my actual drawing skills rather than making finished illustrations, because I’ve been so overwhelmed with inspiration and I’ve wanted to try out drawing a bunch of different motives, so my mind is on a lot of different art projects at once, and I’m making baby steps of progress on each of them because I just wanna do everything lmao. I should probably take a step back and settle on one thing at a time, but at the same time, I feel like this is working for me because I’m so inspired and motivated and super excited for every single art piece; I don’t feel myself losing interest in any of them, in fact I just feel like my switching between different artworks keeps every piece fresh and interesting for me, yanno?

So here’s one thing that I’ve been slowly chipping away at for the past few months. I’m drawing a full body group picture of my main cast from Renaissance!

I’ve drawn the anatomy sketches of all the male characters (though I’m debating whether I should add some others), and now I’m adding the female characters one by one, so these are not all of the characters yet. But man, I just love seeing the characters side by side? The variety in their body language, body types and heights is just so interesting to look at, and it’ll be even better once I get around to actually adding their facial features, expressions, hair, attire, and then colouring them as well omg! I’m a sucker for this kind of thing, blame it on @juliajm15 and her amazing diverse character designs.

It’s gonna be a huge picture with a lot of characters, and I’m stoked for it!! This is a piece which I hope I’ll be able to show ya’ll the progress of bit by bit in every few updates. (also, if you feel somewhat familiar with some of my characters, you’re welcome to make guesses at who’s who (; )

Another project I’m working on is making official character portraits of my main cast (and possibly minor characters as well). I just think it’s nice to have official portraits as reference for anyone who’d like to see what the characters look like, and also for myself for whenever I need to refresh the specific features and expression of each character. It’s just a nice thing that satiates my very Type A personality lmao!

So the characters above are Owen Wright (to the left) , Daniel’s puppy bff with the fluffy hair, and then from left to right I’m colouring the portraits of the Armstrong siblings: Caleb, Caitlyn and Tristan. Their dad is a duke! n.n Caleb is the oldest, Caitlyn the youngest, and Tristan is the bland middle child. He’s a little brat LOL but I still love him.

Also, due to this glorious reference I found, I finally figured out how to draw Daniel. Bless this model, I never knew I wanted Daniel to have big puffy lips, but apparently I do.

He looks actually nice now? Which is nice? I’m amazed. Also his hair? I can never draw his hair, but this looks nice so yay? Also, I dunno why I never draw clothes on him, I guess I’m just lazy lol, but he’s gonna need to wear clothes for the official character portrait soooo... That’s a thing I’m gonna have to do.

Now that I’ve figured out his features, it’s gonna be fun to remodel all his family members accordingly. I sense that he’ll have gotten those cute puffy lips from his mum meheheheh.

I also did some Disney fanart of my two favourite Disney ladies; Esmeralda and Kida <3

I actually never really draw fanart any more, it’s been yeeeaaaars since I did, and when I used to do it, I was always very particular about staying as true to the original art style as possible. But now that I’ve spent the past couple years focusing on developing my own art style, I actually decided not to care about that so much and just draw the characters the way I’m used to drawing my own, and lo and behold - it looks pretty accurate to the Disney style?? I assumed that the characters would end up looking very different, but other than the eyes being smaller I feel like they look the exact same lmao. It’s interesting to me, because even when I used to do fanart, I usually did so of Japanese art and manga, not of Disney or any other western art. Also, I don’t consider my own style very Disney, but it pleases me a lot that the characters look so much like themselves even in my art style! The most important thing to me is to capture the essence of the character anyway, so any fan can recognise the character they love so much n.n

So that’s about it for this round! I’ve been working on other things as well, but I’d rather not disclose them to the public just yet - perhaps later, when I’ve made more progress, or (gasp!) actually finished something!! Bahahah, with the many things I’m working on, hell will freeze over before that day comes. *cries*

Youtube

I’m adding this Youtube section because, in addition to writing and doing artwork, I also like to record vocal covers (mainly of kpop songs, but I’ll do anything I’m in the mood for at any given point), aaaaand as of today I'm gonna be uploading speedpaints as well! Which is probably good since I don’t upload my covers nearly as often as I finish them lmao.

I’ve not uploaded any new covers recently (though I really should, I do have some covers lying around on my laptop mwerp), but I’m gonna list a couple of my favourite covers I have on my channel here so you can take a listen if you’d like!

And today I uploaded my very first speedpaint to my channel, so check that out if you’re interested in that sort of stuff! It’s the process of my Christmas portrait piece for Serena. I aim to be more consistent with uploads since I have a few unedited recordings lying around, so keep an eye out for that!

If you’ve read this far, thank you for sticking around and taking a look at my work, even if it’s only in WIP form. I wanted to start doing these updates because I’ve been watching my friends do them for a long time, and I always love reading their writing updates; they motivate me so much to get working on my own stuff, and I just wanna be able to perhaps do something similar for anyone else who’s watching me out there. So thank you sincerely to @coffeeandcalligraphy, @sarahkelsiwrites and @shaelinwrites for sharing your process with the world and being such an inspiration to me and many others, I love seeing you all make progress on your own projects <3

So that was all for this round, I hope you guys enjoyed a little sneak peek into what I’ve been working on! Until next time, folks!

[sapphiresea]

Questions For LGBT Ladies #LGBTask Answer them all hehe

questions for lgbt ladies #lgbtask                        

i’ll skip the ones i’ve already done. see previous post for answers.

1 ) how do you define your sexuality? lesbian af.2 ) at what age did you first realize that you like girls? my first crush was at age 8 but i didn’t recognize it as such until i was looking back later. my first inkling was when i was thirteen and my teacher said that one in ten people are gay, which meant at least two or three of us in my class were gay and i was like, “i wonder who the others are,” and then panicked. there were a few times like that and many a woman i ‘admired’ but i didn’t acknowledge it until i was nineteen.3 ) how out are you? pretty out. there’s only a few people left in my regular life who don’t know.5 ) who was the first person you came out to? how did they take it? the first person i told was courtney, who later became my first girlfriend. so that’s how she took it lol.6 ) has coming out lost you any friends? yup. not many, thankfully, but one of my best friends from high school was dating a super-homophobic ( and just all around terrible ) guy and he convinced her to stop being my friend. and considering how disgusted she acted whenever i did talk about my gf at the time, i was kind of over it anyway. i do kind of miss her sometimes though.7 ) what is your current relationship status? in a relationship~8 ) how many gay friends do you have? online? like a billion. offline? like one lmao.9 ) how many male friends do you have? i have a few male friends but only two i’d consider myself close to: peter and miguel.10 ) have you ever cut your hair super short? nope. chin-length was the shortest i ever went and i hated it.11 ) how often do you wear flannel? listen... i counted up all the plaids in my closet a few months ago and it totalled twelve. and i have since bought at least four more. a better question is how often am i not wearing it.12 ) how much do you like cats? i’m currently trying to get a new kitten, so every time someone in the house does something well, i’m like, “wow, you deserve a kitten!” and every time they don’t, i tell them, “that’ll cost you one kitten.” so far no bites. but i really, really love cats.13 ) do you like skirts and dresses? sometimes, if i’m in the mood...which isn’t often.15 ) do you have any tattoos? if so, how many and where? i do. i have two; one on each wrist. on my right wrist is my first tattoo, a triquetra, and on my left is an infinity arrow. i just got that one a week ago.16 ) how accurate is your gaydar? unfortunately my ‘gaydar’ is often very confused with my ‘please-be-gay-dar.’17 ) have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? yep. we only really have one here and it mostly tailors to men and straight girls, so i don’t like it that much. i went to a couple out of town. the one in san francisco ( i’m blanking on its name ) was by far the best.18 ) how do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? it’s so annoying. straight girls who refer to their female friends as ‘girlfriend’ owe me and all other sapphics $20 cash.19 ) have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? isn’t that, like, the most universal lesbian experience?20 ) ellen or portia? excuse me, what do you mean or ??? they’re the best together. but portia is my actual hero.21 ) is your nose pierced? nope.22 ) would you ever want to get married? if i meet a woman i’m certain i want to spend my life with, absolutely.23 ) will you wear a dress for your wedding? probably. 25 ) have you ever watched the l word? i watched the first season and maybe it makes me a bad lesbian, but i couldn’t get it into it.26 ) have you ever dated a guy? yep. nothing serious, though. i mean i literally gagged kissing one of them, so...27 ) how do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring? they’re probably stupid, dumb, and boring if they’re still using it for that.28 ) how many rainbow items do you own? lmao so many. my favorite recent addition is monty puckers, my stuffed gay gorilla.29 ) have you ever been to a pride festival? i just went to the one in my city last week.30 ) have you ever celebrated national coming out day ( october 11 )? i’ll usually post stuff about it and in support of all my lgbt siblings, but i’ve never uesd it to come out, myself.31 ) have you ever participated in the national day of silence? considering this is the first i’ve heard of it, no. but now i’m going to google to find out more.32 ) have you ever worn a woman’s suit? no, but women in suits 💯👌🏻👅 sign me tf up.33 ) have you ever worn any men’s clothing? i own a couple flannels from the men’s section and a few tees, but not really. i like my stuff more fitted.35 ) do you consider yourself a feminist? absolutely. intersectional, of course.36 ) who is your favorite lgbt celebrity? kate mckinnon, in case you can’t tell from my blog, is my #1. portia de rossi, stephanie beatriz, aubrey plaza, ani difranco, and melissa etheridge are pretty high up there, too.37 ) are you religious at all? yes. i don’t go to church every sunday anymore, but i do consider myself a non-denominational christian.38 ) how often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female? i stare a lot. it’s kind of a problem.39 ) what is your ideal first date? usually for first dates, i like something lowkey where we can just get to know each other. after that, i like stuff like arcades and amusement parks and lots of movie dates and netflix.40 ) are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, or dyke? i’m great with them if they come from other lesbians. if they come from non-lesbians, no. miss me with that homophobic crap. it’s not yours to reclaim.41 ) how outdoorsy are you? i’m allergic to sun, so not very. i love the forest and walking down by the river and visiting elbow falls and such, but i can’t really do much of that anymore without ending up wanting to die.42 ) in general, has being out affected your relationships with other females? sometimes it’s really weird and i do notice them treating me differently, but usually it’s fine.43 ) how much makeup do you typically wear? not a lot, but i do wear a full face any time i’m going out or having company over. i just feel more comfortable with it.45 ) are you more feminine or more masculine? definitely femme. even if i don’t wear the heels.46 ) how long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? are you still with that person? coming up on nine months and yes. 47 ) have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? no. i don’t usually date girls who look enough like me lol.48 ) do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender? i think it’s not my place to decide how other people experience attraction.49 ) have you ever wished you were completely straight? i used to when i was younger. now i’m really glad i’m not because girls are amazing and i love being a lesbian.50 ) do you watch any lesbian youtubers? sometimes. usually stevie or ally hills or hannah hart. i don’t watch any youtubers regularly though.51 ) do you like wearing combat boots or doc martins? motorcycle boots are my jam.52 ) have you ever been hit on by another female? yes. often. and a shining moment for me was being asked out by a girl while waiting for my date ( another girl ) to arrive. ( i said ‘no,’ obviously, but i was proud of myself. )53 ) how athletic are you? 0%. faked injuries to get out of p.e.; only runs when chased.55 ) what is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? not really into it, personally, but if that’s what makes you happy, i’m not judging. some chicks look really hot with them.56 ) what does equality mean to you? it means equal rights and protections under the law, but it also means that one day those laws won’t even be needed because people won’t have to be told that we’re human, too. it means no more stupid ass debates about whether companies can deny service to lgbt patrons or idiots on television saying lesbians caused the hurricanes. it means that kids won’t grow up thinking straight is the only option or that they’re somehow bad or wrong for being lgbt. it means we won’t all be assumed to be straight or cis.57 ) if you are not a full blown lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females? uhhhh? i don’t know? i don’t fall for every girl i see, if that’s the question. i definitely notice when girls are really attractive. 58 ) have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? no, but honestly...goals.59 ) have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? no. that’s, like, one of my main criteria. it would be way too weird. and unfortunately i have one of the most common names for sapphic women around here. i would, however, make an exception for stephanie beatriz. 60 ) how flirty are you? i can be pretty flirty, but usually only with people i’m in relationships with or who have already expressed interest in me.61 ) are you a virgin? no.62 ) do you listen to any lgbt musicians such as tegan and sara, melissa etheridge, or chely wright? all of the above, yes. i almost exclusively listen to lgbt artists, with a few exceptions like rob giles and emily kinney.63 ) have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? yes. which i think is missing the entire point. other girls are too pretty for me not to be gay, and i’m not wasting myself on a dude.65 ) have you ever driven an suv or a pickup truck? i have not, as i am a terrible driver who would like the smallest car possible to avoid collision. i have, however, been picked up for dates in both and yes. a+ 10/10 do recommend.66 ) are you or have you ever been a tomboy? as a kid i always thought i wanted to be a tomboy but was far too girly...turns out i was just in love with the tomboys.67 ) agree or disagree: everyone is at least a little bit gay. disagree. sexuality is fluid for some and less for others.68 ) what personality trait are you most attracted to? sense of humor and kindness.69 ) boobs or butts? eyes. but also boobs.70 ) beer or wine? vodka.71 ) do you have a favorite lesbian movie? up until recently, it was imagine me & you. now it’s for sure a million happy nows. i’m still sobbing.72 ) from 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 10/10.73 ) from 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? depends on the girl and the glasses but 8-10/10.75 ) from 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 10/10. 76 ) from 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? i tend toward being attracted to long hair but honestly there are so many stunners with short hair like 15/10.77 ) from 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 10/10. although i usually go for a little femininity. that futch aesthetic is my greatest weakness.78 ) from 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? 10/10.79 ) from 1-10, how attractive are tall women ( i.e. around 6 feet or taller )? wow. lemme climb you. i mean what80 ) have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? yes? 81 ) has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? no, i don’t think so.82 ) do you carry a purse? i try to avoid it.83 ) do you have any lgbt relatives? my mom’s uncle was gay and had a successful drag show in vancouver, but i was never allowed to meet him before he died. otherwise, nope. just me.85 ) would you ever date a trans girl? i mean, probably.86 ) how well do you think lgbt women are portrayed in television? lol that’s a joke, right? i’ve seen some good reps but usually we’re side characters or killed off and there isn’t a whole lot of diversity, so tv really needs to up its game as a whole.87 ) have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? listen... i’m the queen of falling for older women. i once dated a woman who was almost twice my age. although tbh it was a bit of a mistake for other reasons.88 ) do you have any celebrity crushes? do i??? someone find me lauren cohan so i can propose immediately.89 ) do you have any opinions on lgbt people in the military? yeah, my opinion is fuck off with your homophobia and transphobia. someone’s risking their life to keep your company safe, you can shut the fuck up about what’s between their legs or who they choose to spend their lives with.90 ) do you believe in love at first sight? nah. i believe in attraction / crushes / lust and being really drawn to someone, but you can’t know you love someone until you actually know them as a person. otherwise you’re just projecting your ideas of what you want them to be.91 ) would you ever have a threesome? if so, would a guy be included? i’m too jealous for a threesome. i’d just be crying the whole time lmao. and a guy would never, ever be included even if i did somehow change my mind.92 ) where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? ideally? out in the wild, like, in class or at a bookstore or something. realistically, on an app like her.93 ) is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? i’m sure somewhere out there it exists, but i’ve yet to find it.95 ) how often do you wear a bra? whenever i go out or have company over. if i’m just lounging at home, i don’t tend to bother.96 ) have you ever been part of a softball team? nope. like i said, 0% athletic.97 ) if you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? well, it wasn’t really a choice to begin with? but if it was, yes, i would.98 ) what stereotype about lgbt women do you disagree with the most? miss me with that predatory lesbian bullshit.99 ) what advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? give yourself time. don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with. labels can be great, but don’t stress too hard if you don’t know what you are or don’t want to define yourself. just respect yourself and do what makes you happy. and fuck what other people think.100 ) what advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out? be safe and don’t feel pressured to tell anyone you don’t want to tell. your safety and comfort is top priority.

[callmoiwhatuwant]

1-100

I hope you know you’re the best and this kept me entertained for a while 100 questions1. Is a kiss considered cheating?On the lips 100% yes. On the cheek in a familial way, no. 2. Have you ever faked orgasm?Nope I’m very straight forward and if I’m not enjoying it then I’m not gonna fake it to save someone’s feelings 3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?Time travel! 4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?Hahahahahaha probably not. I’m already drowning in debt probably will be drowning in more student debt by then 5. Tell us some funny drunk story.I swear I have good ones but like I can’t think of any6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?He dumped me 🤷🏼‍♀️ His loss 7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Gun shot to the head. Instant. Painless. 8. What are your current goals?I’m actually going back on my whole30 diet again so weight loss and I really want to get back to school at some point. Happiness is a goal too. 9. Do you like someone?I love someone if that counts 10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?Myself 11. Do you like your body?It’s a love hate relationship, some days it’s good some days it’s bad12. Can you keep a diet?I’ve had really good luck with whole30 so yes! 13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?Stop. Just stop. Listen to what you are saying to each other, look at the way we are treating our underprivileged brothers and sisters. How can we not decide to work collaboratively? We would all benefit if there was equal give and take and the world would be more peaceful. Stop trying to be the strongest, stop trying to out do another country. We need peace more than we need nukes. 14. Do you work?Don’t think that’s even a question anymore 15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?Probs salad cause it’s really diverse or maybe pizza 16. Would you get a tattoo?I already have 3 and I’m dyin for more 17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?Tattoos 😂18. Can you drive?Yes and no. My license is expired right now19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?Uhhh I honestly can’t recall 20. What was the last thing you cried for?Something dumb on tv tbh 21. Do you keep a journal?I try to actually! 22. Is life fun?Debatable.....23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Older you get the less you care 24. What’s your dream car?Something from the 50s or 60s muscle car25. Are grades in school important?In college and uni absolutely 26. Describe your crush.Tattoo artist. He’s a cutie. But I’m committed. He’ll tattoo me though! 27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?WONDER WOMANNNNNNNN28. What was your last lie?That I was okay 29. Dumbest lie you ever told? I don’t really lie a lot so I don’t really know honestly 30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?To me it’s become a weekly ritual soooooo31. Something you did and you are proud of?I’m proud of graduating and moving somewhere I knew no one and still being okay on my own. 32. What’s your favourite cocktail?Don’t really drink em to be honest 33. Something you are good at?Weird knowledge on an assortment of topics 34. Do you like small kids?I think they are the most adorable creatures till they can talk then they are devils 35. How are you feeling right now?Tired, sad, frustrated, anxious 36. What would you name your daughter/son?Son: JamesDaughter: haven’t put much thought honestly, always thought I’d have a boy first 37. What do you need to be happy?Comfort, attention, love, food38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?Yeah most definitely 39. What was the last gift you received?My mom bought me a bunch of stuff lol 40. What was the last gift you gave?Probably Christmas and an A7X mug and slippers and something else to my partner 41. What was the last concert you went to?Sawyer Brown but before that it’d be Slipknot 42. Favourite place to shop at?Walmart as weird as that sounds 43. Who inspires you?My dad actually 44. How old were you when you first got drunk?Like 14 45. How old were you when you first got high?14 46. How old were you when you first had sex?1547. When was your first kiss?When I was like 12 48. Something you want to do until the end of this year?Keep my damn diet 49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?self harmed.... tried to kill myself... 50. Post a selfie.51. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friends 52. Name one thing that terrifies you.Being cheated on again53. What kind of books do you read?Anything from classics to erotic lol 54. What would you tell your 12 year old self?Its gonna get worse but don’t be afraid to get help55. What is your favourite flower?Roses and orchids 56. Any bad habits you have?I overthink a lot 57. What kind of people are you attracted to?Girls who can dominate preferably alternative and burly tattooed guys. All have to be animal lovers and like to be fit. 58. What was the last thing you cried for?A movie on tv 59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?I love all food honestly 60. Are you in love?Yes, I think so still anyways, I just don’t know if he feels the same anymore 61. Something you find romantic?Genuine interest and eye contact 62. How long was your longest relationship? Almost 3 years 63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?How bitchy and catty girls can be, periods and girls who pretend to be ditzy to get men’s attention64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? Men who think they need to prove their manliness, overtly sexual and can’t keep conversations normal (maybe just my age range though) guys who think being jerks is the way to girls pants. 65. What are you saving money for?Tattoos, paying people back. Traveling. School. 66. How would you describe your bad side?A raging psychotic bitch67. Are you actually a good person? Why?Debatable lmao 68. What are you living for?I don’t really know anymore, for myself and my cat I think69. Have you ever done anything illegal?Definitely.... 70. Do you like your body?Most definitely love and hate 71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Yes but they deserved it72. Ever sent nudes?So many omg 73. Have you ever cheated on someone?Nope and never will74. Favourite candy?I love twizzlers and kit kats 75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!No not really... 76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?I play sudoku but that’s it lol77. Favourite TV series?Ayuh that’s really hard to pick.... right now it’s greys anatomy 78. Are you religious? Does God exist?Spiritual. I put myself under the pagan category. A single god in my eyes does not exist but many gods and goddesses do 79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?The secret garden. It was a reread but it’s always good 80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?Great for you if you can do it but I definitely can’t 81. How long have you been on Tumblr?I believe my blog turned 4 or 5 this year 82. Do you like Chineese food?Love it. I grew up in a predominantly Asian city and region and it was a way of life lol83. McDonalds or Subway?Depends if I’m drunk or not or on my period. But usually McDonald’s 84. Vodka or whiskey?Why not both? But I prefer whisky for its flavour 85. Alcohol or drugs?Drugs. Weed is a drug right? 86. Ever been out of your province/state/country?Numerous times87. Meaning behind your blog name?I was like 14 at the time and edgy but the moi part is for my francophone early life 88. What are you scared of?Change. Lots of change89. Last time you were insulted?I don’t get insulted very easily so probably a while ago cause I don’t remember 90. Most traumatic experience ?Having someone die under my hands as they bled out as I was performing CPR after a horrendous car accident that my dad and I were the first responders for. We helped as the ambulances were on their way. Unfortunately the deceased lost too much blood to be revived. 91. Perfect date idea?Nice dinner, walks and long talks. Or getting tattooed and making out. 92. Favourite app on your phone?Probably Facebook. I use it a lot 93. What colour are the walls in your room?At my moms they were white and gray, here they are off white which I hate. 94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?A little. I love Joe Santagato and The Try Guys and Ladylike 95. Share your favourite quote.“You are my sunshine my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you’ll never know dear how much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away” 96. What is the meaning of life?In biological terms it’s to reproduce and balance ecosystems, in bigger terms.... I’ll let you know when I figure it out 97. Do you like horror movies?Love them! 98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Yes, when I left to Alberta99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way?Not really. I feel pretty ordinary to be honest 100. Can you keep a secret?Yes I definitely can. I am a hella reliable friend.