#thank you for asking buddy I love you

[waifujuju]

Campfire commission for @musingskies!! It's a collection of the games we've played together in recent years c:

[pali-and-proud]

analysis on buddy i beg 🙏🙏 (if its alr with you ofc)

Babe I cannot stress enough how much I love talking about our purple goth histironic antisocial petty freak of a fan favorite character. Absolutely. Strap in 'cause this is going to be long.

(edit: lmao guys this is long. Like I know some people told me they didn't mind the lengths of my other posts--thank you so much for that, by the way, y'all are so sweet--but i am most definitely pushing it with this one. Get urself something sweet to drink, youll be here a while.)

Let's start with early Buddy!

Episode 3 is the closest we get to understanding early Buddy's motives, and it isn't great--he outright mutters to himself that he needs to get "the obnoxious brat" out of the stories + get the key back. This cements two things: one, that Buddy is the antagonist, and two, that Buddy dislikes Chase.

(Note: I know that Buddy isn't really the antagonist, and that he...lmao...does not dislike Chase. But! Early Buddy is not Crushing-Badly Buddy, so bear with me.)

He ALSO reveals, in the same episode, that he needs to get the key before the old man finds out something's missing. This implies a higher power (which we know now to be Ex Libris), and the episode ends by zooming in on a book with a page ripped out. The episode before had that page, so we know the page detailed how to use the keys and what they were, but keeps the mystery of how the ripped page made it to Chase.

The point: Buddy acts as an antagonist to Chase, yes, but he also has a motive and a deadline. Get Chase out and get the key back before (assumingly) Ex Libris finds out.

With this in mind, Buddy's...tactics...start making a little more sense. He drops pots of dirt on Chase, frames Chase for murder and arson (possiblyyy to be petty), splashes water on Chase, drops a bucket on his head, fills Chase's shoes with worms and bugs (sidenote: Buddy loves insects. Chase hates insects. Someone please write that down PLEASE), sets traps to snag the kid, etc etc. We know he's doing this to get Chase out, but we can infer that there's a consequence if he doesn't.

He also drops more information about his perspective in his arguement with Chase in ep4, where he tells Chase he doesn't deserve the keys and implies that Buddy does deserve them (and, also, that other people use the keys). He despises cheating (shout out to later Buddy, who "hates liars"), and he is completely convinced that Chase will give up sooner or later.

But then the original Cinderella story happens. And it's a turning point, because it's the first time Buddy actively helps Chase. Yes, it's with the end goal of getting Chase to leave (he bets on the key), but it's the closest we get to seeing Buddy in a non-antagonistic role.

Important to note here is that Buddy makes sure to tell Chase: when you lose, don't think you can lie your way out of it. We've never seen Chase lie to Buddy (lol not for, like, another 50 chapters), but we DO see Buddy maintain this theme of assuming Chase will lie/cheat. And it's kinda fascinating, because lying/cheating/manipulating is something pretty villainous, and since Buddy keeps expecting that from early Chase, you can argue that Buddy's typecasted Chase as his own antagonist.

Even so, we see tiny peeks of later! Buddy. He sees Chase desperate for the cakes/snacks, and even though he's insulting about it, he does tell him that he can eat it. He could, hypothetically, let Chase continue to avoid the food here (since it would help coax him out of the stories), but Buddy doesn't.

In fact, this whole story, Buddy never lies. He tells Chase exactly what is about to happen. And when Chase is happily escaping, he notes Buddy's shaded expression (somewhere between pensive and tired, to be honest), and wonders why Buddy tried to help him.

This could be, honestly, the moment Chase realized there was more to Buddy than surface-level.

And then we get to ep13, where Buddy and Chase are in the Princess-Tutor-Dancing scene. There are so many little things in this scene: Buddy complaining that everything in the stories is a waste of time to Chase, acknowledges that he deviated from the other story, and admits that he didn't win the bet. We see a moment of guilt or dissatisfaction from Buddy when Chase says Silver deserves better than to be stuck with someone like him, and he knows the keys only help if they were on speaking terms with whoever they worked with.

Chase asks how he knows Buddy's going to keep his word, and Buddy responds by stressing that he'd be more surprised by Chase being honest. Which kinda brings me to my bigger point: So far, we haven't seen Buddy lie...at all.

Also, Chase slaps Buddy. This is mostly just really funny to me and also relevant for later.

AND NOW LATER BUDDY. I warned you that this would be long.

We get to the Toffee Arc, and we start on one of my favorite details about Buddy: the guy loves touch. He sees Chase with someone new, and immediately he's pressing a hand and his whole face against Chase's hair. He also doesn't love that Chase doesn't reciprocate the touch, but in Chase's defense, this is the first time Buddy's actively touched Chase (outside of them dancing and/or Chase slapping him).

He also loves touch that isn't necessarily from Chase. He loves getting pets from the Duke, and he doesn't even like the Duke. I know some people hypothetize this is from touch starvation, which is absolutely possible, but it is pretty interesting that Buddy has absolutely no shame or embarrassment whatsoever in recieving tactile affection. Most notably because he never, ever actually asks for it.

Also, since a lot of people have pointed out the symbolism of the yellow flowers and the purple vines: this is the first overlap we have of them! It's specifically when Buddy's warning Deacon against being on his bad side: it has faded yellow flowers in the background (all of which are shaded and appear almost tainted), bright yellow bulbs that are untainted, and purple vines.

Personally? I think this is when Buddy starts developing his crush.

Buddy following this scene/ep with him bugging Chase and Deacon about their relationship with one another really truly does not help his case. Neither does Deacon mentioning that he's heard about Buddy and Buddy immediately asking for details. Get some self-control, man.

(Deacon tells him that Chase didn't really say anything good about him and Buddy outright says he isn't surprised. Buddy's not oblivious to his actions, but he's still justifying it through the motive we established ages ago: he needs to get Chase [and now, Deacon] out of the stories. Which he reminds us by immediately trying to trick Deacon out.)

Also, Buddy keeps saying "We'll" get the keys back, implying himself alongside Ex Libris (unless Buddy's already separated from them, which is a theory some people have). I just think it's important to note, particularly for later, when we see that Buddy doesn't have a good relationship with them.

Chase, though, does ask Buddy for any words of advice. Buddy refrains from offering any, but it does reinforce the fact that Buddy had been more forthcoming with book assistance in the recent episodes than before. It's almost like the more he recognizes Chase isn't really an antagonst, the more he's willing to help.

Also, I don't know if this counts as manipulation? But Buddy tells Deacon that Chase was confident in how to continue the story, despite knowing Chase was not (BUT Chase was trying to pretend that he was--so kind of a loophole, I guess?). Interesting that the first maybe-manipulation by Buddy was towards Deacon.

We also learn a new thing about Buddy! He loves to talk. He talks with the Duke, insulting him left and right, despite being a cat. Earlier, when he was in the Cinderella story, he was chatting with one of the background characters. We see him later listening and idly talking with one of the princes; the guy likes to yap, essentially.

(It's also kinda funny because Buddy likes to flirt? But he doesn't do it that often, and he almost always seems to prefer flustering by touch then verbally. He sits on a prince's lap within seconds of love-dosing him. He's shameless.)

We have Chase calling out Buddy for being jealous that Chase brought someone along, and Chase wondering if Buddy is that desperate for attention. The short answer is yes. The long answer is this entire post.

I do love that this is the first time we see Buddy flustered, and he immediately resorts to threats of violence. This becomes a pattern. I love him so much.

(Buddy revealing that he knows Chase's name while openly flirting with him and then shoves Chase away when Chase realizes that Buddy does know his name. He's got two modes, Cool/Collected and violently awkward /j)

Chase kicks the thing out of Buddy's hand. Which is only relevant 'cause that makes the actual physical assault 2-0 Chase. But it also leads to Buddy being thrown in the water, which we know he hates, and Buddy ends the arc by thinking about how Chase could prove useful.

Then we have Beach Boys. This is the iconic arc, and easily one of my favorites. Shocker, I know. I like the arc where they have fun and then argue and then apologize and then bicker again.

Buddy reminds us that he has a much better understanding of the keys than Chase or Deacon, and that he's perfectly good at utilizing loopholes. Remember how earlier, I said Buddy hates cheating? He's fine with cheating the system, so long as he isn't cheating for the reward.

Chase also notices that it seems like Buddy's good at everything (with the exception of sparking a fire). Buddy can hunt fish, but can't cook them. We know, of course, that Buddy can be diplomatic (we've seen that), and we know Buddy can dance. And frame people for various crimes. And, also, poision people. A man of many talents.

We also learn Buddy loves chocolate. He sees chocolate bars, and he so clearly desperately wants one, but it's really not until Chase offers any that Buddy takes. We never, ever see Buddy ASK for anything.

Chase comments that Buddy acts like Ex Libris locks him up and never feeds him, and Buddy just shudders. Chase repeats again, asking if Ex Libris feeds him, and Buddy doesn't answer.

Interestingly, we know that Buddy has claustraphobia. We know Buddy has not lied yet to Chase. And we know Buddy didn't respond to Chase.

So technically, even when Chase learns that Buddy'd been pretending to sleep to try to coax out information from Chase, Buddy was right: he told Chase his intentions from the beginning. Buddy has never, ever, ever actually lied to Chase.

Yes, he didn't contradict anything Chase said. But we also know, from Buddy's reactions, that he genuinely didn't expect Chase to be hurt, because he didn't think Chase was being genuine.

He typecasted Chase as his antagonist, and this arc marks the start of Buddy realizing he might have been wrong. That maybe Chase really was this nice.

Chase tells Buddy he deserves whatever he gets, and Buddy doesn't disagree. It's reoccuring: Chase tells Buddy he deserves to suffer, or he deserves what happens, or the keys deserve better than him, and Buddy doesn't argue.

And then Buddy decides: you know what. Violence.

Throughout this active arguement, Buddy reveals so much about his own mindset. Chase offering to drive over to wherever Buddy is becomes Chase trying to weasel a location out of him. Chase trying to help was Chase trying to manipulate. "You're just as self-serving. You're not better than me!" is CAKED with projection.

Buddy mocks Chase's desire to be friends, and he mocks what he sees as a savior complex, because to Buddy, Chase's selfless persona is all hypocritical: he knows Chase wants to make a wish.

And it's this projection, coupled with the anger of what he sees as Chase's useless manipulation, that makes him finally react when Chase (once again) tells him he deserves whatever happens. Buddy hates that idea--hates that he might actually deserve whatever Ex-Libris is doing to him--and he's so furious that he's genuinely just lashing out. And he hurts Chase.

This is where I'm going to glance back at Chase slapping Buddy and Chase kicking at Buddy's hand and cough awkwardly. This isn't the first time one of them has resorted to violence (although it IS the first time Buddy has, excluding the black eye Chase got in the first episode, but that was from a fight Chase initiated). It is the first time it's resulted in actual blood, though.

It's just something to note that Buddy could try to defend himself--could point at Chase's attacks from before--and instead immediately drops his weapon and looks so genuinely upset for the first time.

And now we regress back to Chase telling Buddy he's scum, he's a monster, and Buddy doesn't argue.

But he apologizes. And we get his thoughts for the first time--recognizing he needs to apologize now, and wishing he was better at it. He apologizes the way he usually initiates conversation with Chase: he starts by rambling about the story. The cut isn't real, even if it hurts, and Chase will be okay, and he's sorry, and he didn't think Chase actually wanted to help, and he lost his temper, and he never meant to cause harm.

He's not willing to call a real truce yet, because he knows it's going to break eventually. But he does help Chase with his coconut, and gets genuinely happy/amused when Chase gets excited.

Buddy likes Chase, guys. I'm not just talking about a crush or attraction or anything. He likes seeing Chase happy. He doesn't like seeing Chase sad. At some level, by this point, he does see Chase as a friend. Which is nice and sweet, but then you look back at Chase insulting and snapping at Buddy and Buddy not arguing, and it gets a little bittersweet.

And then Buddy "cleans Chase's cheek." I know what you are.

Sick Day, we see Chase sick, and we see Buddy fret over him. He fusses over Chase to the point where he fully forgets plot-relevant details, like poison. I love headcanons that view Buddy as forgetful, especially if one were to take Buddy and apply PTSD symptoms to him (#PsychMajor) but I'm not willing to give the guy a psychological analyzation until AFTER we get details on his background. But oh guys, I will be so annoying when I can finally put nature vs nurture into action.

Again, we see Buddy genuinely concerned over Chase. Concerned to the point of forgoing everything he's supposed to do in the story to follow Chase, even though he maintains his claim that he's merely walking in the same direction as Chase. (once again, idk if that counts as lying? But it's definitely not manipulative).

The reason this is important is because Buddy's concerned for Chase, but when Chase asks him to help by telling Deacon to leave, Buddy asks what he gets out of it. And it isn't even with a specific angle: he genuinely wants to know what benefit he gets to convincing Deacon to leave.

Remember Buddy's early motive? To get Chase and Deacon out and grab their keys before "the old man" notices? Yeah, that's on hold, evidently.

Chase tells him that he'd get the satisfaction of helping someone, and Buddy squints and fully rejects the plausibility of that. Which is so interesting, because he has helped Chase before (via giving him information, or opening a coconut, or even this arc, by making sure the kid doesn't faint on the stairs) without really getting anything out. Again, I know what you are, Buddy. absolutely useless in the presence of a cute boy

And despite all of that, Buddy doesn't hesitate to run after Chase. Doesn't hesitate to save Deacon when Chase faints. He even goes so far as to grab Chase's stuff, even though he completely forgot and forgoes the literal poision that he's supposed to be in charge of.

It isn't that Buddy doesn't know how to be good. It's that Buddy does good, but both doesn't recognize that he's doing something good AND doesn't acknowledge that he's doing something good for Chase. He isn't oblivious to the bad he's done--just oblivious to the good.

Think of it in terms of the speech Buddy gave Deacon. If there are times you need to be a hero, and times you need to be a helper, then it goes to reason that there are times you need to be villainous. But Buddy doesn't need to be villainous anymore, right? He's aware that Chase isn't actually an antagonist, that Chase isn't actually a problem. He's aware that his treatment of Chase was entirely one-sided. And that's only reinforced by Chase giving him an entire bag's worth of vitamins and food.

Like, to Buddy's credit, how do you even respond to that. A whole bag's worth of food. Non-perishables. Chocolate. And we know Chase doesn't even have the money to really afford that, but Buddy doesn't, and Buddy's already rendered speechless.

We know that in the All That Glitters arc, Buddy didn't thank Chase. And we know that's because Buddy assumed Chase had to want something in exchange. Because what kind of a person would be so genuinely selfless as to give someone an entire bag's worth of food.

We know, exactly one arc later, that Buddy did thank Chase. He makes sure to tell Chase he's capable of feeling grateful. Remember all the stuff Chase told him, when they were arguing? About being a monster, and being scum? It's almost like Buddy's trying to humanize himself to Chase, or something. Because WE know Chase doesn't actually see Buddy as a monster, but Buddy doesn't.

Buddy reminds Chase that he doesn't have to care, and he doesn't have to worry, right before returning Prunella's book and apologizing for looking inside. Again, and I cannot stress this enough, Buddy could have just...lied...and said he didn't look inside, or just not mentioned it at all, but he doesn't. Buddy...doesn't really lie.

He apologizes AGAIN for accusing Chase of being underhanded. We know Buddy has a lot of guilt, and we know Buddy's never been unaware of his actions, but it is really interesting to see that Buddy actually has a pretty tight moral code. Chase just...wasn't on the right side of it for a while.

And now we're at the Requium arc. And Buddy had to deal with being woefully ignored by Chase, and then went against the story to get Chase to not marry the vampire, and then got locked in a coffin. And honestly, nowhere near enough people have pointed out how quickly Buddy fell to apologizing and begging forgiveness--he hadn't done anything, but he didn't care. Buddy doesn't lie, remember? Not nearly as often as he acts like he does. But he was desperate, and he begged his apologies for things he knew he/his character hadn't done.

And when Chase let him out, he hugged him.

Remember what I said, in the Toffee arc? Buddy loves tactile affection, and Buddy never asks for it. He was desperate to get out, and he got out, and he needed a hug, and he got one.

And when Buddy realized the hug he needed hurt Chase? That the vines he covered himself in, the barbs he prided himself in, were causing actual harm? Immediate guilt, with him mentioning how often he hurts Chase. And this time, Chase is quick to deny it--he tells him not to worry, that it's completely fine.

But Buddy hurt Chase, so Buddy fixes it: he gets rid of the vines. Get's rid of the thorns. He's literally shedding a shield, a protection. Because the vines he coated himself in didn't protect him from the real problem (Drac), but just hurt the only person trying to help him.

Someone said it before, but Buddy LIKES his outfits. He likes them being intricate and detailed. But that didn't matter, because it hurt Chase, so Buddy got rid of it.

And after he sheds the outer protection, he's a bit more expressive. It's subtle, but he doesn't shy from openly telling Deacon he trusts Chase. He also locks Deacon outside the door to be potentially mauled by wolves, but nobody's perfect. He doesn't hesitate to remind Deacon of the baby teeth comment, either: this is his petty retribution for that joke, and he stands by it. Deacon asks why Buddy's wrestling with the bottom half of a vampire, and Buddy isn't sure.

And finally. Buddy realizing Chase lied to him. Buddy being so deeply, genuinely, painfully taken aback. Buddy, after apologizing again and again and again, after feeling guilty for suspecting Chase and for hurting Chase and for misreading Chase, after trying to figure out how to humanize himself without lying about who he is and what he plans to do (remember? get Chase out? get the keys?), discovers that Chase lied to him after all.

So in the end, Buddy just wants to be good. He doesn't really lie, and his manipulations are really just exploiting loopholes, and he doesn't actively want to hurt anyone. He's truly not malicious, but he's aware that's the role he's been given (figuratively and literally). And there are times you need to be the hero, or the helper, or the villain. And he's trying to figure out what role he can be, since he's really only had to play the villain. Remember: if Buddy wasn't the villain, Chase wouldn't have tried to do the whole Cinderella book. He wouldn't have met Silver, or Bronze, or Goldie. He wouldn't have known anything.

I hope this makes sense :) And I am mildly sorry for this being so long and much more impressed with anyone that stuck on this long.

[chaosandwolves]

Hello lovelies

I was lucky enough to snatch a commission from @bucksketch

This is something that has been on my mind for so long and I could finally ask one of my fav artists to bring this to life

Everyone,

The Stucky Buddie AU

There is no fic (yet)

But I think they fit them so well

Buck with his trying to save everyone, trying to always do the right thing, burning down the world for his loved ones

Eddie with all the trauma that hardened him on the outside at first glance but he'll do everything for the ones he loves

Buck with the whole transformation he goes through while the core of his heart never changes

Eddie with all that grief but slowly making his way through healing

The friends to lovers

The always having each other's backs

The saving each other

Yeah I love them all

[thatbuddie]

I'm sorry but Eddie would NOT respond to bpreg like that... he'd be telling Buck like "haha Buck it was so weird, we were a couple, and you were pregnant with my baby... I think it's because you were a sperm donor once anyway I WOULD donate my sperm to you any day if you just asked. If you could get pregnant, of course." And Buck nods and says "yeah if I could get pregnant I'd want to have YOUR kid not anybody else's even if I was in a relationship with someone else." And then they stare at each other and smile and fist bump because they're BROS.

ANON KSKSKSKSKSKS STOP “i would donate sperm to you if you could get pregnant” HELP ME

YOU’RE SO RIGHT

this really makes me want to write a fic where buck CAN get pregnant and he DOES WANT to get pregnant and eddie really offers his sperm because he wants to help his best friend be a dad like he’s always dreamed of, right? and anyways, “we already know we’re good co-parents so i could help you with this baby, too. as best friends.” and buck immediately says yes because a baby is already amazing but having his best friend’s baby? absolutely perfect!

and then when they’re in the middle of planning how the sperm donation will go buck says something about how much easier it would be if they could just do it the old fashioned way. and eddie says, “i mean… we could… it really would be easier. and we’re best friends right? there is nothing we can’t share.”

so buck and eddie fuck as best friends!!! and buck gets pregnant with his best friend’s baby!!! YAY!!!!!

[ethosiab]

TANGTHO!!

could i mayhaps get a cubfan?

hope you’re having a lovely day!

god???

[vote for tangtho in this poll and ill draw something for you!]

[chronicowboy]

Song 88 for the playlist character thing!

hi! sorry this took so long but you chose possibly my favourite buddie song of all time and i just had to write a little ficlet

the door swings open (and you're standing there)

As he grabs Eddie's duffel bag from the backseat, Buck thinks of Hachikō the dog that waited for his owner to arrive at the station after work every day. How he waited long after his owner had died. Until he too eventually died at that very same station. It's far too easy to imagine himself sat just outside those airport doors, watching, waiting, withering.

Buck wouldn't get treats and food from affectionate passersby. Buck would get pitying looks from any commuter that spared him a glance.

Still, when Eddie's hand brushes his as he takes his bag, Buck thinks his tail would be wagging, if he had one. Wants to paw at Eddie for more. Wants to press his face into Eddie's neck. Wants to be a bad dog and sink his teeth in there too. Leave a mark. Remember me. Take this with you. Hate me if you have to, just take me with you.

"Got everything?" he asks instead, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Hopefully," Eddie sighs and slips the strap over his shoulder. His eyes are skittish like a doe in a field deciding which way to run. He's fiddling with the zipper on his bag, and it takes Buck back to a too-bright kitchen, Eddie's thumbs rubbing into his palms.

This is panic. This is Eddie Diaz panicking.

"Tell Chris I say hi," Buck says. An out. Always, always an out. And then, he'd left, and Buck had had to hide behind Tommy instead. But eventually he'd left too, and Buck. Well, Buck had ruined everything. This, however, works exactly as he'd planned. Soothes Eddie's hackles right down and draws out that shaky little smile of his. "Tell him—" The words choke themselves off in Buck's throat. "Tell him I love him." And his voice comes out wrong. Wobbly and weak when this should be the easiest thing in the world to say. "Tell him I miss him, and I love him more than he'll ever know. Tell him like that."

Eddie's face cracks open again, smile shattering, the resigned eyes of a doe caught in a trap.

"Buck," he croaks. Swallows, stands to attention, sets a hand on Buck's shoulder. His thumb burns a hole into Buck's collarbone. "You're talking like you're never gonna see us again." Buck shrugs, regrets it almost immediately, waits for Eddie's hand to slip from his shoulder. It doesn't. Anchored there, sure and unyielding. "I'm gonna be back in a few weeks."

"To get your stuff, Eddie," Buck scoffs.

"Yeah." Amusement blooms across Eddie's face, unfurls in his eyes like the first bud of spring. He tilts his head to catch Buck's gaze, smiles wider. "And I'll be packing you into one of the boxes, so you can help me put all my furniture back together again."

Buck thinks it'd be infinitely easier, if he was a dog, to slip into Eddie's moving van unnoticed. Launch himself into Eddie's arms when the doors opened after eight hundred miles. Lick his face and beg for forgiveness rather than permission.

"I'm going to miss you so much," Eddie says, and it's full of that Diaz conviction that makes Buck feel like he's been overtaken by a wave. He wants to drown in it.

"I know." Buck shrugs again. Shrugs a little more than last time. Eddie's hand falls from his shoulder, and Buck hopes that was the only thing keeping him afloat.

"No, seriously." Eddie huffs at Buck, at himself maybe. He runs a hand through his hair, and those two perfectly messy strands fall right back over his forehead. Buck has thought on more that one occasion about reaching up to brush them away, but this is something that doesn't need fixing. "I'm going to be alone over there, Buck. Especially if Chris isn't ready for me to be there. And you..." Eddie doesn't choke on his words. He laughs. A sweet, tinkering sound. It reminds Buck of the windchimes in Eddie's backyard. "You have always been right there by my side. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do when you're not there anymore."

"You'll figure it out." Buck shrugs again. He glances up from the pavement just in time to catch the defeated collapse of Eddie's shoulders, his face.

"Buck..." He takes a deep breath. "I don't know if I want to figure it out."

And there are a thousand things Buck could say. A thousand unspoken words Buck has hoarded since he flipped over that stupid fucking tablet. A thousand truths he could spill in parking structure 3 at LAX during his seven-dollar half hour.

There are things he could say that Hachikō never got to.

Instead, Buck lets them all clump and clot around his heart like some cancerous mass to be removed when it's already too late.

"You should get going," he says. "Don't want to miss your flight."

Eddie looks at him for a beat too long. Eyes unnerving. Buck feels like peeling paint on a wall watching a can of paint stripper get set down on the sheet-blanketed floor. Feels like a nerve exposed to the brisk chill of winter air, every sensation just too much. So, when Eddie wraps his arms around Buck's middle, he feels it like a thicket of thorns latching onto him. It's instinct that has him catching Eddie. And it's a sword that lances straight through his chest when Eddie's grip tightens around him, hands fisting in the fabric of Buck's shirt, nose replacing his thumb on Buck's neck. Every point of contact like a weeping wound. Buck will carry each of them until he's empty.

When Eddie pulls away, it's Christopher he thinks of that allows Buck to let him slip away.

"Fly safe," he rasps.

"I'll make sure to tell the pilot there's precious cargo onboard," Eddie teases with an eyeroll. It's so close. So almost normal.

"You do that." And it's not even close. Nowhere near normal. He can't even give Eddie this. Ruins their goodbye once more.

"See you soon, Buck."

He could spare himself the pain. Could walk away right now. He was always good at that. The walking away, not the sparing himself pain. But, well, Buck couldn't not watch Eddie leave anymore than Orpheus couldn't not turn around to share in the delight of sunlight with his Eurydice. And when Eddie turns to look at him one last time, offers him a half-smile and a half-wave, before getting swallowed up by the crowd, Buck thinks it's his fault for loving him so much.

Except that's not true, is it? Orpheus travelled all the way underworld, charmed the ferryman and Cerberus and Hades himself with his music. The perfect melody of love and grief. Buck drove Eddie to the airport and just... Let him walk away.

Eddie would make a better Orpheus, he thinks. Eddie who found joy and flung the door open wide to Buck, so ready to share it with him. Eddie would make the perfect Orpheus. If only he loved Buck the way Orpheus loved Eurydice, the way Buck loves Eddie.

That's the simple truth of it. Buck loves Eddie. He'd do anything for him. And if that means crossing the Styx, losing him for good, Buck thinks it'll be worth it as long as Eddie goes knowing he's loved so completely that it becomes natural.

Buck goes through the glass doors. He slips through the crowd. Elbows his way towards the security checkpoint.

When he sees Eddie, he thinks he'd turn around for his Eurydice not to share in the light but because she is the light. Buck would gladly go blind.

Buck manages to catch him before he reaches the line for security, and Eddie turns to him with a delightfully bemused frown.

"Buck, what—"

"I'm sorry." Buck shakes his head, squeezes Eddie's wrist. "I'm sorry. I've never been good at goodbyes, but I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to say goodbye to you, Eddie."

"It's not goodbye, Buck." Eddie frowns, grabs Buck's wrist right back. "I said see you soon, and I meant it."

"I know. I know you meant it." Buck smiles. Some crumpled copy of a smile at least. "I just hope you still mean it after this." Eddie's face twists into something both confused and offended like the thought of not seeing Buck again is just so utterly unthinkable.

"What—"

"I'm in love with you, Eddie." Buck doesn't wait for a reaction. Can't. "I only just figured it out, can you believe it? Six years of you at my side, and I only realise when you're slipping right through my fingers." Buck laughs, a noise like nails on a chalkboard. "I'm not expecting anything of you. I just... I just needed to tell you before you left or otherwise I'd regret it for the rest of my life."

"Buck, I—"

"You don't have to say anything, Eddie." Buck shakes his head, still smiling. "Just promise me something?"

"Anything, but, Buck—"

"Just promise me, Eddie." He tightens his grip on Eddie's wrist, nails digging in just a little. Well, a bad dog after all. "Be honest with Chris. Tell him the whole truth. Don't go hiding things you think he can't handle it. Chance is he knows it already, he just doesn't have a name for it. And that makes it so much worse, Eddie. You grow up feeling it, but you're never allowed to look at it. And it grows and grows and grows. So, just. Tell him everything. No matter how heavy. Tell him, and the two of you will carry it together instead of alone. Promise me that, Eddie. Don't colour it with your guilt. The plain honest truth, okay?"

"Okay." Eddie nods blankly. Buck squeezes Eddie's wrist and drops it. Eddie grasps it against his chest like he's been burnt.

Buck walks away. He looks back just once.

~~~~

Eddie has been in Texas for almost a whole month. And since a perfunctory Arrived safe after his flight, they haven't talked once. So, Buck throws himself into work. Embraces the flames of a five-alarm fire like an old friend. Jumps off of thing just to feel the blessed weight of free-fall before the rope snaps taut. Covers every shift he can find until Bobby forces him to take ninety-six whole hours off.

He runs around downtown LA until his bad leg starts to scream in pain. He goes to the gym with music blasting in his headphones, so he can't hear the ugly thoughts curdling in his brain, lift weights until the shoulder he'd dislocated starts to scream too. Watches reality TV until his brain feels like it's melting right out of his ears. Eases his way into fitful sleep with shots of tequila chased by the old beers in the back of Eddie's fridge.

His first shift back is stifling. The eyes on him making him feel like a rabid dog backed into a corner. Everyone terrified of what he'll do next. So, he whispers quiet to himself in the bathroom and sighs in relief when the alarm blares.

They don't get back to the station until 3am, and Chimney is too tired to go on a manhunt for whoever jinxed them, so Buck stows himself away in the loft whilst everyone else shuffles into the bunks. He checks his phone out of habit, grinning at the picture of Maddie's sonogram she'd sent after her appointment, wonders if Chim is trying to sniffle quietly in the bunks—almost definitely.

And then, he sees the voicemail.

He doesn't really think much of it. Tries to tell himself it's probably just his doctor calling about that check-up he should be scheduling or the landlord asking if he's decided on renewing his lease or not yet, ignoring the timestamp in the corner of the little white box, ignoring the stutter of his heart and the tremble running through his body.

01:47

Buck clicks on the notification before his phone can shake right out of his hands. He brings it up to his ear, listens, waits. He takes a deep, rattling breath in perfect synchronicity with the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hey, Buck, I'm sorry I haven't..." A pause. "God, you must have thought..." A huff. One of those laughs that's trying too hard to be a laugh and ends up being something else instead. "I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. Jesus Christ. I'm fucking stupid, Evan Buckley. Did you know that? I, God, I don't know how I didn't see it. I've been looking at you almost every day of my life for six years and somehow I never fucking saw it. You were just...

"You're like breathing, Buck. You-you're a necessity. An instinct. You don't notice it's there until it's gone. And then you spend three and a half weeks panicking in a shitty AirBnB in El Paso because you can't fucking breathe without him. And I—" Eddie isn't breathing. Eddie has always been breath-taking to Buck, stealing the air right out of his lungs. Not for selfish gains but to take care of it when he didn't trust Buck to do it himself. "I love you. I'm in love with you, Buck. Oh, my God. I'm in love with you. I didn't know, Buck. I didn't know. You have to believe me. I didn't know. And now... It's not too late, Buck. Is it too late? Am I too late?"

"No," Buck whispers into the empty air of the station. Can't help himself. Feels the no like a parasite in him. Like a xenomorph bursting right out of his chest. Too big, too big, too big.

"I love you, and I'm two states away, and I didn't know I could love you like this, and I didn't know love could feel like this, Buck. I just want to be where you are. Always. I want to hold your hand. I want to hold you. God, I want to kiss you. Buck. I want to kiss you so badly. But I have to... Chris is here, and he's talking to me, and I'm picking him up from school now. I can't... I can't kiss you. Not yet. I need to fix our family first."

Buck clasps a hand over his mouth and sobs against his palm. He doesn't know what it is he's feeling. Couldn't name it all if he tried. The most comparable sensation he has is how it felt when he woke up after his leg. When the drugs were just strong enough that he was numb in that delicious kind of way. Warm instead of cold. Floaty. Everything dulled, but that little voice in the back of his head telling him something was wrong.

"I'm firing my realtor tomorrow, I don't care. I need to take my house off the market. My parents are driving me crazy. Christopher misses you. I miss you. I love you. I love you." Eddie laughs. And this is a laugh. A real laugh. One of his bubbles of joy that Buck wants to be encased in forever and ever. "I just. God, it's always there, Buck. It's always been right there. Writing grocery lists and running into burning buildings and driving through traffic and I was loving you the whole time. How the hell have you been carrying this around? I feel like it's going to crush me if I don't... But I left. I left. I'm so sorry I left. It's late. You're at work. I shouldn't. I love you, Buck. Okay? So much. Call me back?"

The line doesn't go dead. Eddie sits there breathing down the phone for twelve more seconds, and Buck inhales after each of his exhales like he'll be able to taste Eddie's oxygen from eight hundred miles away because he's greedy. But. But Eddie loves him. Eddie wants to kiss him. Eddie is eight hundred miles away.

Buck pockets his phone and heads for Bobby's office with something frantic buzzing away beneath his skin. He raps on the door gently, clenches his hands into fists and stuff them into his pockets as they shake, shake, shake.

"Come in," Bobby calls, quiet with the late hour. Buck pushes into the room. Too concerned with the way his spine seems to be trying to crawl out of his mouth to think about his face, but whatever expression is there has Bobby setting his pen down with three quick blinks. "Buck. Everything okay?"

"I need to go to Texas," he blurts out. Bobby blinks three more times. Okay, not quite what he'd meant to say. "I know you just gave me four days off, but I-I need to go, Bobby."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." Buck smiles, and he's not sure what it looks like, but it makes Bobby melt back into his seat with a smile of his own. "Everything's good, Bobby. I just need to see them."

"Take a week," Bobby says just like that.

"W-wait, really?"

"Why not? Pretty sure you've got more vacation days saved up than everyone else combined." Bobby nods, a final approval. "Hit the bunks, get some sleep, head home when you wake up, forget about any calls."

"Are you, I mean, are you sure?" he asks, doesn't realise he's almost bouncing in place until the corner of Bobby's mouth quirks up just a little more.

"Yeah, Buck, I'm sure." He jerks his head. "Go get 'em."

Buck doesn't need to be told twice.

~~~~

A day later, one miracle down and almost five hundred dollars poorer, Buck is lugging a half-zipped duffel bag out of an extortionately priced Uber. He drops the bag on the doorstep of some stranger's bungalow, raises his fist and hesitates. It's just—

Can it really be this easy? Can Buck just show up out of the blue and expect to be welcomed with those kisses Eddie had been wanting so badly? Can he have this? Can he really have Eddie?

And then, like an answer, the door swings open.

Eddie is standing there bathed in the golden light of the entryway lamp. He's frozen to the spot, paused with one arm in his jacket, the other hanging limp at his side. His jaw slack, but tugged up just a little, so slight only Buck and his PhD in Eddie Diaz would catch it. And his eyes. God, his eyes. Buck almost falls to his knees for missing those brown eyes alone. Now, they're the warmest Buck has ever seen them, wide and full of wonder. Buck did that. Buck filled Eddie's eyes with awe and fondness and so much love he thinks he could drown in it even if he was still in LA and looking at them through a screen.

"Buck," Eddie breathes, smile dawning over his face like the most beautiful sunrise Buck has ever seen.

He doesn't even get to open his mouth before Eddie's arms are around him, and Buck doesn't know why he was mourning Eddie's house when this is so clearly home—the pounding of Eddie's heart against his own. Buck slides his arms around Eddie's waist, slips them under the jacket hanging from his left shoulder, buries his face in Eddie's neck and breathes in as much home as he can fit in his lungs. Eddie does the same, just clings to Buck, inhales, digs his fingers into Buck's back deep enough that he hopes they bruise.

"You're here," Eddie whispers into Buck's skin.

"I got your message," Buck rasps.

Eddie pulls away like it's the last thing he wants to do, barely even pulls away, just enough to look. And, oh, does he look. Takes Buck in from head to toes, lingers on his lips just a moment longer than the rest. Looks at Buck like he's seeing fire for the first time, amazed, enchanted, just the tiniest bit afraid. He's beaming. It's not a smile, not a grin. It's a beam. Buck wants to bottle it.

"Going somewhere?" Buck asks, plucking at the half-on, half-off—half-on, what the hell, Buck's feeling optimistic���jacket. Eddie glances down at it blankly, shrugs right out of it and lets it fall to the floor without taking his eyes off Buck.

He's not sure who cracks first, but their twins grin burst. Eddie almost doubles over with the force of his laughter, catching himself on Buck's shaking shoulders. And Buck doesn't know how long they stand on the doorstep just laughing, but he thinks he could stay there forever. Could get drunk off the sound of Eddie's joy. Because that's what it is really. The jacket falling hadn't been this funny. Nothing was this funny. Because this was just what happened when happiness grew too big to be contained.

Eventually, their laughter fades into huffed little breaths that makes Buck feel like that exposed nerve again when they hit the skin of his neck.

"Hey, Buck," he says, joy glowing in the pink of his cheeks. "I love you."

"Hey, Eddie." Buck smiles, but that isn't really a big enough word for what he's feeling. "I love you."

Eddie kisses him like he's been thinking of nothing else for a month. Eddie kisses him like he's run all the way from El Paso to LA just to kiss him. Eddie kisses him like it's the end of the movie and the music is swelling and the fireworks are exploding. Eddie kisses him like he's kissed him a thousand times before.

Gentle. Chaste, really. Desperately careful. Devastatingly tender. Fond and enamoured and loving. It tastes of joy.

Eddie pulls back only to lean in again. Drops one, two, three, four more kisses to Buck's mouth before dragging his thumb over his bottom lip. His eyes flicker to Buck's, a question, and Buck answers. Leans in and keeps on leaning. Asks Eddie, asks the universe, pleads, demands: fuse us together, let me crawl inside, I'll stay, I'll stay right here. And Eddie doesn't just permit him. Eddie opens up to him, answers with a question of his own: can I be yours, can this be us, can I call you mine?

When Buck pulls away, he finds the eighth wonder of the world. Eddie, kiss-dishevelled, swollen lips, cheeks red, hair mussed, eyes glossed over.

"You're here," Eddie croaks, voice hoarse from just a kiss. Buck's knees go weak. "How long are you here for?"

"Bobby gave me the week," Buck says, breathless from the best kiss of his life.

"Well, that'll have to do, I guess," Eddie teases.

He kisses Buck three more times before dropping to a crouch. All the blood in Buck's head floods South so fast he's dizzy with it. But Eddie stands back up with his jacket, tosses Buck's duffel bag into the entryway and pushes him off the doorstep.

"Come on. We're gonna be late."

"Late for what?" Buck asks, still half-stuck on the image of Eddie basically dropping to his knees in front of him.

"Dinner with my parents," Eddie says as he locks the door.

"Uh..." Buck blinks. "Do you want... Sh-should I wait here?"

"If you think I'm letting you out of my sight, you're crazy." Eddie cups the side of his face and pecks him once on the lip before heading to the truck. It's so domestic, so perfectly easy. Buck thinks he must be losing his mind because there's no way to kiss someone like that two minutes after your very first kiss. "Besides." Eddie throws him a grin as he slips into the driver's seat. "If Chris found out I'd kept you from him for even a second, he'd really never forgive me."

[eddiediazenjoyer]

thinking about post established buddie conceptions of shannon makes me CRAZYYYYYY like we always talk about shannon and eddie being in the hole Together and how her asking for a divorce was her getting out and leaving eddie in it. but. crucially. she didn't actually get out of the hole bc she died. so in this world where buddie finally get together and eddie gets Out. where does that leave shannon? now he's the one leaving her in the hole as he gets out. bc she will forever be trapped on her way out of the hole. so close, but still in it. she didn't get to have ANYTHING, and eddie, bc he's the one who survived, gets to have everything. and she didn't even get to get a divorce. eddie gets to have it all, their son, a real, true love, a family-- an entire life and shannon is stuck forever asking for a divorce from a man who compared their marriage to falling into a vat of chocolate and slowly sinking to death. and he got to get out and learn what love and life should actually look like. but she never did. and i think eddie would hate himself for this

[dailyinkk]

Okay, we get it. But this is actually getting kinda of annoying ngl (i voted for geno too btw)

[eddieisinlove]

For a November prompt: what about Buck and Eddie taking a hike on a crisp autumn morning and stealing a first kiss?

Thank you for your request! I hope you like what I came up with :)

Eddie enjoyed the occasional hike, so when Buck proposed to take him to his favorite hiking spot, he agreed immediately. They woke up on a sunny Saturday, dropped off Christopher at the Wilson's and drove to the hiking path. It was early November. The air smelled like earth and fallen leaves. Buck and Eddie started hiking, the conversation flowing naturally, like it always did. They never seemed to run out of subjects. "Ta-daa!!", Buck exclaimed in a very Buck way when they reached a plateau. The view of LA was amazing. A comfortable silence lay between them. Eddie looked out towards the city and thought about his life. This was the kind of morning he'd always wished for, just enjoying an activity with someone- -with someone he loved keeping him company. The kind of morning he always wished he could have had with Shannon but never got the chance to. The kind of thing he had with Buck. The realization blew over him like the soft breeze ruffling his hair. Buck put a tentative hand on his shoulder. "There's actually a reason i brought you here.", he said. Eddie turned to him. "What we have", Buck continued, "Means more than a friendship to me." Eddie's heart started beating faster. He wondered how he hadn't noticed how much he loved Buck until now. He could feel it everywhere. "It means more to me too", he whispered, the words refusing to form any louder. The day was still early when they kissed for the first time, a promise to hold on to each other forever.

[lanlishiba]

Hiya Dull, you are v. Cute!

I would love to gift you a fluffy plush bee :3 Hope you have a lovely day~✨

Aww he loves it!! Tyyy!!

[nekrosmos]

ive been trying to catch up on my dash because ive also had a rough few weeks so im using your blog as a distraction because it brings me joy in return i will give a distraction back:

ive been dipping my toe into writing graves mostly to practice his voice and try to see how i feel about him to try to include him in other works, any headcanons or specific things about him you like?? trying to get some inspo lol

Q!!! Thank you so much for your lovely tags on my art !! You know it always brightens my day <3 I'm glad my silly little drawings are able to bring you some comfort !!

As for Graves, I think my favorite thing about him is his energy. Dude is always going BRRRRRRRRR no matter the situation, too much energy in this little blonde guy. He's a fun character to write honestly, I only wrote him once before but it was just fun to do, he's so not serious and always 100% into something.

I also think he loooooves the attention, he loves being a leader (and he is a great one at that), loves having all eyes on him. It's natural to him, with his enthusiasm, his accent, his general attitude, he's used to entertaining a room, for sure. Dude would have made a great theater kid in another universe.

He makes friends easily but can also be way too much for people to handle, especially when he's trying to find partners. That man has been turned down more times than he can count.

I think I've said this one a long time ago but in my mind he has that "supportive but slightly confused straight guy ally" energy, even though this man is extremely bisexual to me. Like he's queer but never really was part of any queer community, but he's trying his best at being respectful. (I ship him with an OC of mine who is transfem and intersex and it just leads to funny situations LMAO). He's a little confused but he's got the spirit !!

This one is pretty random but I think Graves is the kind of guy who struggles with the idea of aging. To me, he was a pretty boy as a young guy, always used to being complimented on it by both men and women, and those compliments have changed as he grew older. Obviously, he's still very handsome but he definitely struggles with the change and has been getting more and more expensive products for his skin. He haaaaaates when he wakes up and can feel his age and definitely will want to party or do something stupid just to prove to himself that he isn't getting old :3c

Also dude lives in a fucking villa because he has way too much money, for sure

Also, obviously, Graves is EXTREMELY american and will pass away if you say the word Celsius or meters in front of him. He also knows how to work a grill alright !!

Also, fuck it, have some NSFW headcanons as well:

This man is a BRAT. He has an insane degradation kink and is just begging to be manhandled. Man or woman, it doesn't matter, he's into everyone as long as they dominate him <3 Loves to be chocked, slapped, spit on, tied up, gagged, he wants it all. He talks shit only so he can be punished in return.

Also it's probably a popular hc for him but I don't care: that man definitely was very popular when he was still a young recruit in the army. He knew how to use his mouth and he made good use of it alright. Dude got very popular reaaaal quick <3

[lynnbutlertron]

hii sorry im too nervous to comment but i just wanted to say youre doing gods work with your globox and rayman art and youre so right, it makes zero sense that theres little to no content of them together 💔

OH ANON THANK YOU SERIOUSLY. I AM SO GLAD YOU SAY THAT BECAUSE im new to rayman and upon realising that i am genuinely the first person to take them seriously i thought there was like. a reason no one shipped them. like i was overstepping some evil line in the rayman fandom and the rayman fans were going to come get me in my sleep or smthing.

SO THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! i just think theyre silly to be honest and playing rayman with my buddy and watching rayman content is so much more enjoyable with the raybox lens on. im really enjoying getting into these games and learning more so expect more art of them once i learn more !!!!!!!!!!!

Here just for u anon a doodle i forgot to post!!!!^__^

[littencloud9]

kunichuu + "you're not winning"

hehehe hii!! the sillies ever

"You're not winning," Kunikida mutters under his breath. Unfortunately, Chuuya hears him, and they squawk indignantly. "What the hell kind of boyfriend are you!" From the other end of the table, Yosano holds a glass of wine, swirling it around. She watches them with a confident smirk. Her lips are stained red. "You're a lightweight, sweetheart," Kunikida sighs. "You can't defeat Yosano-sensei in a drinking game. I don't think you can defeat anyone, to be ho—" He's interrupted by Chuuya tugging on his ribbon, dragging him roughly. Before Kunikida can say anything else, he's silenced with a fierce kiss. Yosano makes a gagging noise that goes ignored. When they separate, Chuuya has a fire blazing in their eyes. Kunikida should've known better than to say they cannot do something, because now, Chuuya will do absolutely everything to prove him wrong. Even if it means passing out in the process. He shakes his head. How did he fall in love with such an idiot? "If I win," Chuuya begins, poking their finger to Kunikida's chest, "you will let me do whatever I want. For... for a week!" He holds back a laugh. "Sure. I'll even let you blow up Dazai's dorm." "Fuck yes!" Chuuya pours themself a glass of wine, raising it to Yosano. "Bring it on." Yosano grins, clinking their glasses together. "Of course." Chuuya ends up passing out after three glasses. Kunikida expected nothing else.

[pigeonxp]

I do not think there’d be EddieTmmy lovers the way there is for BT, just my thoughts when I thought about it for a while but I think the racism would play out differently: “Eddie as horrible for not seeing poor baby uwu Buck” vs “ew racist Tmmy Eddie get better standards Bucks right there” type of vibes, I think they’d still be shitting on Eddie in defence of Buck and making Buck out to a poor pure baby who is too good for Eddie anyway

u are actually so right and u should say it louder. the amount of hate towards eddie is ever increasing, and in general there is nothing the narrative can do to make people stop hating on him, just like how there is almost nothing that it can do for people to stop the "buck can do no wrong" perspective. there is no right way to move, because every direction leads back to eddie hate. its unwinnable and this should be studied more i fear.

[exhuastedpigeon]

surprise self-rec time! pick 3 of your favorite things you’ve written and share them here, then put this in the inbox (anonymously or not) of your fellow writers to spread the positivity and help celebrate already written fics 🖤

Cat you sent me this in September and I kept it in my inbox until the end of the year so I could use it as an end-of-year kind of post :)

I've posted 174 fics to Ao3 (😳) so I'm narrowing this down to just fics from this year.

give your heart and soul to charity Buddie | Teen | 12.5k Eddie-centric, religious trauma, healing, character study, self acceptance

loves a game, wanna play? Buddie | Mature | 57.5k Love Island AU, Canon compliant through s7, flirting, banter, my beloved OCs

how to slay a dragon Buddie | Gen | 2k Uncle Eddie, babysitting, playing make believe, fluff

[moeblob]

Oh that's a dwagon! (they're so cute!)

Siblings that hoot and holler together, stay together. (thank you so much!! I love these silly lil kids)