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auroralwriting · 5 months ago

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clean 1

tfatws! bucky barnes x stark! reader (no use of y/n)

after the fight with john walker, you can tell bucky's arm was bothering him. so, you make a trip to see him.

word count: 1.6k | warnings: strong language, multiple parts, part two

Your suit was practically scarp metal after the fight with John Walker. He had tried his hardest to absolutely obliterate your suit. Thankfully, Tony had done a great job of designing it. With a few hours of repairs, it would be good as new.

The one thing you worried about was Bucky's arm, specifically the metal one. You saw how Walker had thrown Bucky across the room into wiring, causing it to shock Bucky's whole body. It made you uneasy to think about wether or wether not the arm was in tact, that and the fact that if it wasn't, it could very well lead to a lot of pain for Bucky.

So, using Friday, you found Bucky's new address. He'd taken residence in a small apartment in Brooklyn, thankfully, not too far from where you were reclaiming the Stark Tower. One car ride later, and you stood outside Bucky's apartment feeling more nervous than you thought you would be.

While Bucky and you weren't on bad terms, it was fair to say he was still uneasy around you. I mean, he had killed your parents, and your only living relative (minus the small Morgan) was also dead. You'd been a baby when The Winter Soldier killed Howard and Maria, so how could there be any bad blood between you and Bucky? You didn't even know what you had lost. That and you were more down-to-earth than Tony, realizing quickly the guilt and shame Bucky felt for his mind-controlled actions.

Using up the last bit of confidence you had, you knocked on Bucky's door. It took less than a minute, and Bucky's surprised face was staring back at you.

"Uhm, hi," You said awkwardly.

"How'd you know where I live?" Bucky asked, confused.

You held up your phone, Friday's screen appearing. "Just a quick scan of all James Buchanan Barnes in the area. Not very many," Your joke fell flat as you stood awkwardly while Bucky processed what was happening.

"Why're you here?" He asked.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay after the fight with Walker." You replied. "I saw you get thrown into all those wires, I saw all the sparks."

Bucky gave a small shrug, "I'm alright."

You eyed his arm suspiciously, "That arm causing you any pain?"

Both eyes now fell on Bucky's arm. You looked back up to Bucky to see him staring at it still. "It's been better," He sighed, his reply honest.

"I can fix it if you'd like?" You suggested. Bucky's eyes nearly popped out of his head at your words, "Or not!" You quickly added. "I, uh, don't want to make you feel weird..er than you probably already do."

Bucky went to move his arm, and you saw the traces of pain etched into his features. "It'll be alright."

"Our fight isn't over yet, Bucky." You argued. "You should be at your best." You took a deep breath in, finding more confidence from deep within, "I promise I won't judge you if that's what you're worried about. I mean, Tony literally had a hunk of metal plunged in his chest, and he made me clean it out all the time, it was really gross and-"

"Alright, alright," Bucky held his hands up. "I don't wanna hear about Tony's gross chest-hole. Just, come on in." The door opened all the way as Bucky walked inside. You trailed behind, slowly shutting the door behind you as you observed the apartment. It was really empty, just a small couch and a coffee table in front of it. The kitchen looked rather bare, too.

You took a seat on the couch, Bucky sitting next to you. You set your toolbox down in between the both of you, putting some space between your bodies.

"I need to see the connection point, if you don't mind?" You said softly, looking to Bucky's covered shoulder.

"Oh, yeah, yeah," He muttered as he hesitantly slipped off his shirt. You quickly noticed the healing scars on his shoulder, all around the joint, but you made sure to pay no attention to them as you hovered your hand over his arm. "It's fine," He said, watching your hesitantcy.

The metal was cool on your hands as you felt around it, looking for the weak point. Once you found it, you grabbed your tools and began to work at it. You weren't used to working in silence, so you tried to make some conversation.

"Steve, uh, used to tell me a lot about you." You said. Bucky raised a brow at you as you continued. "You were his knight in shining armor, or something of the sorts."

"I guess I was," Bucky gave the smallest hint of a smile. "How'd you learn how to do this anyways?"

You shrugged as you grabbed a new tool, "Tony taught me everything I know. Engineering, chemistry, physics, you name it."

"It must've been hard, just you two." Bucky said softly.

Looking up, you shook your head, "Don't start that," You said.

"But it's my fault-"

"For the last time, Bucky, that was the Winter Soldier, not you. I do not blame you, there's no reason to keep hurting yourself over this." You cut Buck off, voice slightly sharp with intention. Bucky's eyes fell on the other side of the room as you sighed, "Tony would have forgiven you, too. He just needed time."

Bucky scoffed, "He had five years."

"Of which we were gone," You countered. "I forgive you for him and myself, okay?"

“Don’t say that,” Bucky shook his head. “Just.. don’t?”

You set down your tool, staring at him. “Do you want proof?”

This gained Bucky’s interest, “Proof?” He asked, voice laced with doubt. “What proof?”

“Who do you think protected your whereabouts in Wakanda?” You asked, “Steve and Sam were on the run. Of course Tony knew you were there. I remember when he got the call. He just sat there for a while, thinking. When we talked about it, he said he was glad you were getting help.”

“What else did he say?” Bucky said with a knowing look in his eyes.

You rolled your eyes, “It’s Tony, Buck. He says anything and everything and means almost none of it.” Bucky didn’t expect you to use his nickname. He liked the sound of it coming from your voice.

“That doesn’t mean he forgave me.” Bucky said.

“Well I do, okay? So stop being such a grump. I’m trying to be your friend, just let me, would you?” You sighed as you began to work on his arm again.

The soldier gave a small sigh, “Stop wasting your time on me when you have a company to run.”

“Stop trying to push me away. Also, Pepper’s helping me run it, so I have all the time in the world.” You argued.

After a brief moment of silence, Bucky spoke again. “I’m still not sure I’m safe to be around,”

The honesty surprised you, making you glance up at him to observe his face. “I’m literally face to face with your arm, tool inside it, and you wanna say you aren’t safe?”

Your comment made Bucky give a small chuckle, “That’s not really what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” You asked.

Bucky gave a shaky breath, “In Madripoor, when I had to take down those guys when I was pretending to be.. him,” Bucky explained, “It’s like I could still feel him trying to break free.”

You set a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, making sure to avoid his scars. “Bucky, Wankanda said you’re a free man. The Winter Soldier’s gone.”

“Maybe I’m just so used to violence now.” Bucky offered, “Maybe it’s who I am.”

“No,” You replied quickly. “You are Bucky Barnes. You’re Steve’s best friend, Sergeant Barnes. You’re Sam’s friend, my friend, and you’re a survivor. You’re one hell of a fighter, you’re a victim who pushed through all his pain and suffering to become a better man, and that’s exactly who you are.” Your words left Bucky feeling like he could cry, but he just looked away. You didn’t know whether what you said was right or wrong.

“Thank you,” Bucky muttered as you began to work on his arm again.

“It’s no problem, Bucky.” You responded. You silently worked, trying to ignore the burning sensation of Bucky’s eyes poring holes into your head.

"This world doesn't deserve you," Bucky muttered as you worked. You simply hummed in reply, making Bucky's forehead crease. "I mean it, Stark. You're one of the best people in this world."

Rolling your eyes, you put away the last of your tools. "Bucky, I'm just being a decent person."

Bucky's eyes burned with a new passion, "No decent person would do all you've done for everyone you've ever come across." Before you could protest, Bucky's metal hand grabbed your chin softly. "Don't even try to argue, I know it can be hard for a Stark but can you hold your tongue?" When you didn't reply, Bucky continued. "You're so humble, so fuckin' sweet. I mean, you came all this way just to fix my arm."

"And to check on you," Your voice came out babbled as Bucky's hold on your chin was still present.

"I don't deserve your kindness," Bucky admitted, "But here you are, giving me all of it." His eyes bore into your own, his own actions betraying his mind as he slammed his lips tightly onto your own. It took you by surprise, but you happily returned the heated kiss as Bucky's hand slithered behind your neck.

"You deserve all of it, the whole world," You mumbled as you pulled away breathlessly. "The world did you dirty, and I'll be the one to wash you of it." With your words, Bucky felt his eyes water as he kissed you passionately again.

Once you pulled apart, Bucky wiped your lips with his thumb, a small smile on his lips. "Does that mean you're gonna stick around?"

"Yeah," you giggled, "I think it does."

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes x reader #marvel fic #bucky fanfic #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x you #the winter soldier #bucky x you #bucky x reader #winter soldier #sebastian stan x reader

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shallyouobeyme · 1 year ago

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Rise

Obey Me - Yandere!Brothers x Reader (GN); Yandere!Diavolo x Reader (GN)

Summary: Your death had not been an unexpected one - at least for the seven reasons behind it - what had been unexpected was what happened afterwards. How far are the residents of hell willing to go to get you back?

! Minors Do Not Interact !

TW: Major Character Death, Death of a relative (mentioned), Yandere!brothers can be interpreted either as platonic or romantic, poison, murder, Manipulation, blackmailing, non-consensual kissing, angst generally, I do not condone this - this is all just fiction

Everything about your death had been planned prior, not a single detail was unaccounted for. At least for the ones behind it. You yourself had no idea that you were eating your last meal one Friday evening - it had been Lucifer's turn to cook and he made one of your favourites - and you were enjoying dinner with all the brothers. Quite honestly, you should have known something was afoot simply by the fact that all of them were on their best behaviour, no fighting, no cursing - the literal and the magical kind - and even Levi was acting sociable, without a handheld console anywhere in sight. Belphegor was wide awake (at least for his standards), Beelzebub was eating with relative moderation, Mammon wasn't bragging about any of his new purchases, Satan was calm as he could be, and Asmodeus had his complete attention on you, but not in his typical flirty way. It was like they were all trying to savour the moment.

Lucifer seemed to be the same as always, but you knew him too well and knew how to look beyond his shell. He was sad, somehow, and you would have guessed this sense of self-loathing that his pride usually didn't allow, but that always was just below the surface was bubbling up. Why, you didn't know, but you figured you'd ask him after dinner when you had some alone time. When you were finished eating, Mammon jumped up exclaiming that he'd do the cleaning today and you knew one of the brothers would ask what he was trying to even out now, which scheme of his he needed to repent for before it had actually come out. Not a word was said though. That was the moment when you became slightly suspicious, but sadly not suspicious enough - not that there was anything for you to change at that point. The deed had already been done.

A yawn straight out of your mouth pulled you away from your suspicions. You were really tired all of a sudden. The day must have been more exhausting than you had thought. 'Oh well', you thought as your eyelids slowly became heavier, 'you had time to ask Lucifer about what was going on tomorrow, after all, it was the weekend and you had had all the time in the world'. 'All the time in the world', oh how silly that phrase now sounded. You said goodbye to the brothers, giving each of them a small kiss on their cheek as it had established itself in your routine before you turned to leave for your room. 'MC', Lucifer had called after you as if wanting you to stop, but when you turned around to him, he seemingly had discarded whatever it was he had wanted, instead telling you to sleep well.

And you did sleep well, for about two hours and twenty-seven minutes. Two hours and twenty-seven minutes later, your heart beat for the last time, and then your body grew cold and stiff and lifeless. Death had come for you at last. A peaceful death, that the brothers knew for sure because as they all sat waiting in the dimly lit living room, they only felt a slight ache and a sense of finality as their bonds broke apart. It was regretful that they had to these measures and they were well aware that for the rest of their eternal lives, they'd mourn their actions - but what had to be done was done, this was the only way. The one way that would mean that you would spend eternity with them.

Their plan had first started being formulated when you had gotten news of a relative of yours dying - they had been old and sick and their death had not been an unexpected one. The brothers had decided they'd be there to help you mourn and cheer you up, but they found that while you felt the pain of your loss you were actually relieved, knowing that your relative now didn't have to suffer anymore, especially since they had made peace with their end already. It was what you said when Levi had wondered how you could be so nonchalant about death that kickstarted it all. 'We all die at the end, some sooner, some later - death is a part of life and I find that fleeing from it is impossible so I might as well embrace life for the short time it blesses me.'

They had always known that you'd die one day - they knew you were mortal, but still, knowing that you knew that you would, made this more real. It meant that it was something that would happen in the near future (for them at least) and after they had a long talk where all of them agreed that they could not, would not, live without you anymore they decided that the only way for you to be with them forever was to make you like them, to have you be a demon. That way you'd be safe in the Devildom - not that they'd stop protecting you - and you'd be bound to them for eternity, just like the pacts had bound them to you. But for a mortal to become a human, they had to die first.

Lucifer had cleared things with Diavolo - made him promise that once you died and came to hell, he'd make you into a demon (decidedly not mentioning that your death might happen sooner than the prince might expect) - and Satan took care of a poison that would make you die peacefully and painlessly in your sleep. From then on everything would be simple, your soul would come down to hell, that much was sure, you had made pacts with not one, not two, but all seven of the lords of hell, so there wasn't a way in the world that you'd end up in heaven.

That's what they had been so very sure of, but they didn't realize just how pure you were, how you had been able to keep your soul shining and clean even while surrounded by the worst of the worst, how you hadn't indulged in sin even while being surrounded by it. It might have been your celestial heritage or just your heart of goodness, but it seems the great father had his eyes on you and decided to give you another chance after your death. A new life as an angel - the same soul just elevated into a high, celestial position, and without memories about your mortal life. The brothers had no idea of your new angelic self, just mulling over the fact of how long it was taking you to make the track to hell, worrying that you might have been trapped in the mortal realm with unfinished business. It was Simeon who cleared it up for them, he had been in Celestia with Luke while they had ended your life, so when he appeared in the mansion, face white as a sheet and eyes filled with sadness, exclaiming that you were in Celestia now, that you had no memories, asking the brothers what had happened to you, why they hadn't been informed of your untimely demise. They improvised, exclaiming that you had died of some natural causes that unsuspectedly came with a mortal like you spending so much time in the Devildom, that they were in deep mourning and hadn't even gotten to contact your family yet. Simeon - too goodhearted for his own good - believed them, telling them that he'd mourn with them, but it was what he said before he left again that stuck in their mind: He'd take good care of your soul in Celestia.

No, they wouldn't let this happen. They'd do whatever they had to, whatever it took, to have you back in their midst again. A new plan formed, this one more destructive and with much more dire consequences, but they did not care anymore. Lucifer was again the one to get Diavolo's help but this time he was straightforward about it - he knew that he'd act on it with or without the prince's help. It was a surprise how quickly Diavolo agreed and how eager he was to help, it was a sign of his own ulterior motives, but having Diavolo on their side was the biggest trump card they could gain so Lucifer decided to keep that to himself.

Their plan would surely lead to another century, if not more, of animosities between the realms. It might even lead to another Celestial war, but the brothers were more than prepared to fight their former brethren if it was just to have you in their reach again. And so it was enacted ruthlessly and without hesitation. The seven of them along with Diavolo could easily summon an angel, even one as protected and new as you, and so when you arrived in the middle of their circle they were all too ready to embrace you tight enough to make sure you could never escape, the would have clipped your beautiful white wings - the same that Lillith had sprouted out of her back when she was alive and celestial - and would have buried your halo below the deepest ditch in the deepest sea, but they knew that that was not the end goal of their plan. Instead, Diavolo made you an offer. To join him. To become one of the rulers of hell, the eighth lord/lady of hell, and get a power beyond a simple angel's imagination. Of course, you declined, no self-respecting angel without any reason would agree to that, after all, angels were made, born, with the knowledge that the inhabitants of the Devildom were evil, the enemy.

Again, the brothers had expected you to decline, but they wanted to have at least offered it to you under these circumstances. They would get what they wanted one way or another though and so after a simple snap of Diavolo's fingers, Barbatos entered the room, carrying in his hand a small angel. He was holding him with his hand around his neck from behind and Luke was either unconscious or... you didn't want to think about what the or was. Of course, he was just sleeping from a potion in the cookies he had made with Barbatos earlier, during the baking session they had used to lure him down to the Devildom to work as their blackmail.

The ultimatum was clear. Agree, become one of them, and Luke would go free, or decline, go back to Celestia with the knowledge that the young angel, one of Michaels's very own pupils, had died while you could have stopped it. Had you retained your memories from your mortal life, you might have believed that they wouldn't have dared to hurt Luke, but even then you would have been wrong because there was nothing that was too far in their attempt to regain you by their side.

The goodness that had brought you into this situation in the first place was now also the reason for your decision. No way could you live with yourself knowing that you could've stopped Luke's death. And so you held out to shake Diavolo's hand, only for him to pull you towards him and kiss you deeply. The kiss was unexpected, but it turned out to be a welcomed distraction from the burning that started in your midst and widened out until it had reached every single part of your body. Your wings felt like they were made of pure fire as the feathers that were white as snow before turned into an ashen grey. The pain was almost as bad as the one in your temples where horns came out and curled backwards until they were horizontal to your head with a slight angle.

When the kiss - and the transformation - had ended the complete morph of your body took its toll as you fell right into Diavolo's arms. At that point Diavolo saw himself faced with a choice, he was so tempted to just take you with him - make you his partner like he knew you would one day be the moment he had given you your first kiss, now was the perfect chance, you were a demon like him now - but the brothers would surely wreak havoc up him and his kingdom if he did and he had more than enough time after all. People didn't expect him to be a patient man given his childish demeanour, but for you he was willing to wait decades, if not centuries, knowing that once he had you, he'd have you forever by his side. For now, he'd let the brothers take you home, coddle and care for you while they searched for ways to bring your memories back. They'd surely have their work cut out for them, after all - as Barbatos had explained after your transformation - as a result of a mix of celestial blood and the pacts you had with them during your time as a mortal, you were now the ultimate sin, an amalgamation of all of them: pride, greed, envy, wrath, lust, hunger and sloth.

A/N: My thirteenth entry into Yandere Writetober - based on the result of a poll I held - I hope you all liked this slightly longer and more experimentally written Friday the 13 'special'. If you did, I would really appreciate a comment or a reblog. Look forward to tomorrow's entry 'castle'

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1moreff-creator · 11 months ago

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Happy Birthday Eden Tobisa!

Turns out our favorite clock girly has her birthday on New Year's Eve! What a nice date for such a nice girl! Let's do a character analysis, fun facts, and songs!

-We know relatively little about Eden's backstory. The most notable thing we know about her life before the killing game, apart from her fascination with clocks, is what is revealed in her chapter 2 secret: "Ever since you kissed her, you were afraid your sexuality would ruin your friendships." Which is pretty straightforward; she's canonically a lesbian and is worried it would negatively affect her friendships.

-Literally the only other thing we know about her backstory is that she lived in Japan for a small period of time when she was younger, before moving back to the US. This was revealed in a Q&A.

(... You know, I made a deranged theory in my Mai post that maybe the girl that Eden kissed was actually Mai. It wasn't very serious, since it was just a silly way to try to explain what the hell Eden's quote in the Mai page could mean. But... we know Teruko was in Japan for a while when she was younger, and it's theorized she knew Mai before being separated from her at some point. Combined with Mai's name being seemingly Japanese, it could imply Mai also lived in Japan at some point. And if that's the case, it's possible she met Eden there? To be clear, that's still an insane possibility, but I do find it a funny possibility, which is why I'm sharing it)

-Apart from that, Eden's defining trait is her optimism and her trust in others. She sticks to Teruko's side even after she starts pushing everyone away in CH 1, and confesses to her that she believes "not caring about others is the worst way to live." She's importantly not naive, she does know their situation is horrible, but still she constantly searches for an exit and tries to build good friendships with the others.

-This includes baking with Min, Rose and Teruko in CH1, inviting Teruko and Arei to make clocks on CH2, etc. Basically, she's awesome and nice and mature.

-Also she loves clocks. Regular Ultimate stuff, she can apparently spend hours and hours working and losing track of time.

-Although for such an optimistic character, her secret quote is quite ominous. "You can't go back, no matter how hard you try." We have zero clue what this means at the moment, but at least it does fit the symbolism of time always moving forward.

-Meanwhile, her quote in the Mai page is "She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up." This is even more incomprehensible! Eden, what in the world are you talking about?

-Alright, David MV. She doesn't have a color in Color Theory, but her numeral is XII (twelve). Go to 1:48:28 in this video for an explanation. God it's so convenient to have that lol.

Alright fun facts!

-As stated, her birthday (December 31st) lands on New Year's Eve. Maybe representing new beginnings or change, which certainly goes well with her character. How nice!

-Like most of the cast, she's American and right-handed.

-She's one of the only characters with dyed hair. Her hair was originally just brown.

-Her favorite color is daffodil yellow, because it's happy, and her least favorite color is blue, because it's "kind of a downer color." Areden shippers in shambles.

-Her favorite ice cream flavor is honeycomb. I didn't even know that existed but go off queen.

-She enjoys cute fashion, but also enjoys wearing androgynous style clothing.

-She likes food which is fun to make or prepare. How nice!

-She's biracial; her mother is black and her father is Japanese. This is why she spent a bit of time in Japan when she was younger.

-Her name in kanji is 飛佐【とび・さ】楽【いーでん】. Gonna leave any actual meaning as homework, but it's worth noting her name was anglicized. I think that would translate to "Iden", but her mother liked the name "Eden", so they went with that instead.

Finally, songs that remind me of her!

-Positive Parade by DECO*27

-Gone Fishing by Ghost & Pals (friendship!)

-Aura by Ghost & Pals

-In Iolite by Ghost & Pals

-Magnet by minato

-Those Who Carried On by Ghost & Pals

-I'm Glad You're Evil Too by PinocchioP

And Happy Birthday! And a happy new year! Well wishes to all you Tumblr peeps. Take care!

#drdt #eden tobisa #character birthday #danganronpa despair time #i am again sorry for disappearing i swear i’ll return eventually

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aokoaoi · 2 years ago

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hello, i forgot if i already send you my request or not... but if i am alreadg forgive me, i just want a lo'ak x f!reader when she closes to tuk and tuk loves her so much. when quaritch captures them, loa'ak saves them and saying he will never leave them alone again. thank you

protectiveness.

— pairings : lo'ak x fem!reader.

— warnings : slight avatar the way of water spoilers. slight violence.

— author's note : i loved writing the last parts sm💀. ty for the request! sorry it took so long though:').

Lo'ak loves how you treat his younger sister, Tuktirey. Often times, he even feels jealous of how close you and Tuk were. Like, him and you would just be hanging out by yourselves, and then the little girl would just randomly spawn outta nowhere and start crying for your attention..

You shouldn't have fed that girl your love all the time. Now she hogs you away from him as of there was no tomorrow for your attention. But of course, Tuk is just little after all, so she has to be treated fairly.

Still, Lo'ak just wishes she'd stop taking you away every few hours.

Not only him that loves you, but his whole family does. In fact, they treat you like you were apart of the Sully's. See, a small backstory for you was that you've never really had real parents. Yes, you were real Na'vi and did come out of a mother's womb, but you weren't raised by them.

You were left on your own in the clan, and your parents were no where on sight. You didn't have any other relatives too, so you practically just raised yourself. Neytiri was the one who learned about the absence of your parents and decided to take you in despite you repeatedly refusing.

You were probably around eight or nine around the time his mother decided to raise you. She said you still had lots to learn, but it wasn't too late for you to be taught the Na'vi ways since you were still somewhat young.

But even though his mother took you into her care and family, you didn't live with them like Kiri did. In fact, you had a place of your own and that's where you always hid when you wanted to be alone. You only ever come to their place when they want you to visit(which is practically everyday) but you always end the day back at your home.

Lo'ak had to admit, he wished you'd stop being so stubborn and just live with his family. He'd get to see you everyday, and he'll probably get more chance to hang out with you. Without Tuk.

And so of course, when the sky people landed their dirty asses back on pandora and the Suli family had to move to a more hidden village in order to protect their home in the forest, you were dragged with them.

You've got to admit, you wouldn't last a week without Neytiri's kids being literal chaos around you. You simply loved their bond.

It was nice living with the Awa'atlu, but minus the bullying, constant fighting, and how Lo'ak literally almost DIED. You loved their village, it was so open and fresh. You also happened to befriend a pretty girl named Tsireya.

You wondered if she liked Lo'ak considering how she looks at him.. you hoped not.

You'd rather be dragged under solid ground than admit you liked the boy. It was just a simple admiration anyway, it'll probably just pass as another crush phase like always. Plus, the boy probably only sees you as a reaaally close friend.

Anyway, Tsireya and him would look much more better. You've got to say it for yourself as well, you're probably starting to like Tsireya too. In a slight supportive platonic girl friend way.. yeah, totally.

And as the days went by, the more you learned about their ways. From the Ilu's, the proper way to swim, and to their environmental differences. But in those days, the sky people were also nearing. Ready to attack.

You so badly prayed among greatmother Eywa to stop those demons from harming your family and the Metkayina clan, but it was to no avail when you learned those demons were going from islands to islands, demanding of Jake's location.

You've never learned alot about the sky people, but Lo'ak along with his parents have told you enough to make you curse their every existence.

You desperately tried to shake away the marines trailing after you as it gained on your trail. You looked back, seeing as they were now closer. You didn't know where you are, and you were lost amongst the sea of long kelps with none of your friends with you. You swiftly turn, coincidentally missing a fire they shot at you as you did so.

Ditching the marine as you forced your way through the big leaves, and then you see Tuktirey desperately trying to swim away from an approaching underwater transportation. You swam past Lo'ak and Tsireya as your mind was on the little girls safety. You grab the girl from the waist as you caught up to her, surprising her as you leaded your Ilu away from the marines.

But when another underwater machine emerged from the forest of tall kelps, you were startled and accidentally bumped your Ilu's body onto it from the lack of instinct. You held Tuktirey close as you watched the machine near you both, trying to swim away until a net caught you both.

Ikrans dived into the water, grabbing the net as they pulled you up to the surface of the water. You instantly let out a big breath as your head made contact with the air, looking around you as Tuktirey choked for steady breaths. You tried to steady yourself onto the net, attempting to grab your knife from your thigh holster.

Tuk inches closer to you, desperately grasping onto your form as she sniffed, looking around in fear. You stabbed your knife through the net, trying to cut off its unbelievable material. "Hurry!" Tuk yells, looking at your knife as the net refused to cut.

"I'm trying, Tuk!"

"Why won't it cut?!" She yelled furiously, watching as the Ikran dragged you both by the boat. You let out a pained thud as your side landed on the cold surface of the mechanic, glaring at the sight of the demon bloods. You grasped Tuk by her arm, pulling her close to you as you kicked the net off your bodies, pointing your knife at the woman who tried to take Tuk.

"Drop the weapon!"

You hiss at her, knicking her arm as it drew blood when she tried to reach out for the young girl. You're too focused on her as you didn't notice another fraud reach out for Tuktirey, pulling her away from your hold. "No!" You yelled, spinning around to face the fraud who took Tuk.

Immediately, your hair was pulled as a hand reached to the back of your head, harshly pulling you down with great force. You tried to turn your head at the Avatar who took a hold of yoh, glaring at her. "You bitch! Go back to your dying planet and leave us alone!" You struggled under her hold.

"What'd she say?" Another Avatar perks up.

You scoffed, completely forgetting those morons don't speak your native tongue.

"She just called me a bitch!"

Never mind.

You watched, unthreatened as the man who was the reason of the last war back many years ago walked over to you. The woman grips on your braid tightly, making you yell in pain as she forced you to look at the Avatar in front of you.

"Oh, are you another Sully?" He questioned, crouching down at your level as if he was inspecting something. You glared at him, your unoccupied hand coming up to punch him in the face. When you successfully landed a hit, he let's out a grunt, before his own hand came up to grip the first you just used to hit him.

He glances at you slowly, before he turned at your hand.

"I guess not." He laughs. He took you by the arm, tugging on you without mercy as he dragged you to the railing where Tuktirey was held hostage on. He keeps you still as you tried fighting back, forcing you on your knees when you tried landing a hit on him.

"Let me go, you freak." You yelled at him in your native language. He laughed at you, amused as if he also understood your words. "Oh you're calling me a freak? Ironic." He states, raising his brows.

He leaves you with the young girl as she goes closer to you, her cuffs tugging on the rail. She drops by your side, leaning her head on your chest tiredly. "Don't worry, Tuk. Well get out of here." You attempted to reassure the girl.

"Navi inbound!" You hear the Avatar yell, pointing his gun at the sight of Na'vi's emerging from the side of the an island. Tuktirey let's out a gasp, "Dad!" She cheeres.

You grinned, turning around to face the Avatar man. "Neytiri's gonna kick your dumbass." You insult him. He growls at your words, ears twitching. He steps towards you, snatching the throat comms Lo'ak's father gave you just in case of emergencies and easy communication. He take your earpiece from your ear, and presses it on his ear instead.

You looked at the clan worriedly, simply wishing on Eywa they won't be hurt.

"Jake. Tell your friends to stand down." The man behind you spoke into your throat comms. "You want your kid back, you come out alone." He pulls out a gun, slowly pressing in on the back of Tuktirey's head. The girl whimpers, glancing at you worriedly as she feared if she made a single movement, she'd have to face consequences.

You hissed at his actions, glaring at the Avatars behind you. "Put that gun off the child." You growled.

"I took you under my wing, Jake. You killed your own, good men, good women. I will not hesitate to execute your kid." Your eyes widen at his words, finally getting a hint that he was not just making empty threats.

"(name), I'm scared." Tuktirey spoke in your native tongue, looking at you teary eyed. "It's gonna be okay, Tuk, I'm here." You comforted the girl, smiling at her as you tried to take her mind off the gun at the back of her head.

"Offers fixing to expire. What will it be?"

"Easy shot."

Quaritch blocks the Avatar's gun, looking focusedly on the sight of the Toruk Makto slowly approaching the boat. Alone.

"You hit him now, they attack. Wait till' he's on board." Tuk sniffed at his words, eyes shutting closed as she continued to bury her head againstyour chest.

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you saw a Tulkun emerge from the waters, your ears ringing as you hear the Tulkun let out a hollering roar. "Payakan!" Tuktirey yelled. You watched as the Tulkun dropped down into the cold surface of the boat, crushing the small sky people in the process.

You yelped as gunshots ran around you, making Tuktirey bury herself against you even more as she tried to silence out the sounds. Payakan let's out a shriek as an human aims at his face, making you wince.

You stood up and harshly bumped your body onto the mecha, making him yelp and fall to the ground as Payakan brutally crushes the demon form with his thick fin. You cheered at the sight, taking pleasure of the scene. "Yeahh! That's right Payakan! Do more!"

"Kneel, you fool!" Another sky-people turns to you, aiming his gun at you as if trying to intimidate. Payakan dragged his body further into the boat as his tail hits the mechanics around the place, making more further destruction. You see the Na'vi at the corner of your eye start to attack, with Toruk Makto leading them.

Small boats from another side get a better view of Payakan, and you notice that it was the same ones who tried to take a hit on him earlier. The Tulkun let's out a hollow roar, before you yelled out his name in warning. The tulkun swiftly closes its mouth as he ducks, his thick skin making the shot from the boat slide through instead.

Payakan goes back into the water, and you diverted your attention back to the clan. You watched, starstrucked in a bad way as attacks happened from left to right, and you lost sight of Jake.

An explosion ignites from the side of an engine, dangerously close to it. Your eyes widened as it suddenly turned on, and the fire immediately spreads onto the mechanic. You yelped as you were slightly tugged back, and the boat started going for at full speed. Tuktirey let's out a shout when the boat was lifted up in the air when it ran through rocks, making your head dizzy, and then you two were thrown back down as the boat almost crushed another boat.

"Ah– fuck, what the fuck is happening?" You grunted in pain, the side of your hip stinging from the harsh impact. You turned to Tuktirey as she starts tugging on her cuffs, biting her lips. "Are you okay, Tuk?"

She only let's out a hum as she dragged her hands back and forth as if it would do something. You looked around for a sharp item nearby that your foot can't reach, not noticing two boys arriving at your scene.

"Brother!"

"Tuk, I'm not your brother—" You shook your head at her, turning around but was met by the sight of Neteyam and Lo'ak. Lo'ak snickered at your shocked expression before strutting towards you, bringing out his knife.

"You alright there, princess? You look a little.. surprised. What? Did you not expect for your not expect for your knight and shining armour to come and save you?" He teased, looking at you as he cut off your cuffs without effort.

You looked at him with a blank face. "Stop talking, skxawng. You aren't even cutting my cuffs right!" You yelled at him, a playful smile coming to your face as he finally noticed his mistake. He cuts off your cuffs while Neteyam takes Tuktirey away as Tsireya was waiting for you all by the water.

"But you are alright, though, right?" The boy immediately starts inspecting you as he grasped your hand. You chuckled, nodding your head. "Yes, I am. No scratches whatsoever." You answered him. He let's out a sigh of relief before his other unoccupied hand comes to your cheek.

"I'm so, so sorry for dragging you into this," he starts apologizing for Eywa knows what, leaving you confused. "I'm never leaving you alone, ever again. If you see me leaving you alone, slap me. Okay?"

"Lo'ak, you skxawng." You teased, brushing your finger on his nose with slight mischief. You take his hand, starting to go to where Neteyam and Tuk exited from until Lo'ak went the opposite way.

"What are you doing?" You questioned, grabbing his hand before he could do anything else. "What about spider? We can't leave him." He spoke up about the boy. You looked behind him, looking further into the boat as you bit your lip.

"Come on, I'm sure he's fine."

"But, he's—"

"Lo'ak. He'll be saved later on." You told him strictly,cutting him off as you looked into his eyes, noticing how he was now hesitating by your words. "..alright." He nods, giving in.

You smiled, taking both his hands as you lead him away from the boat.

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bluehouryoongi · 9 months ago

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BITE ME- 4: The Move-in

Pairing: Jake x Female Reader

Genre: Vampire Enhypen and Human Reader College Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU

Synopsis: Set in present-day Pacific Northwest US. Y/n in a college student, and keeps to herself. One day, she has strange encounters with two statuesque men, one of which invites her to a party (at their mansion ofc) where she drunkenly confesses that she can't pay her rent. Vast and highly believable events ensue, leading to her live with 7 a-little-too-perfect guys. That's all you need to know.

← Previous –Masterlist – Next→

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3 years ago

I shut the closet doors, officially unpacked. It’s surreal, moving away from home for the first time and I. Am. Terrified. After road-tripping for almost 7 hours, I’ve spent the last few days running around this unfamiliar town with my mom and sister, trying to make my new apartment feel even vaguely like home. My heart stings when I remember that in the next few hours, they are going to leave and I will stay. It’s easy to just pretend like this was just a mini vacation, and not my new life for the next four years. This is what I want, to be independent and make a name for myself apart from my family. However that dream is a lot more appealing when it is just a mood board, and not a nearly empty apartment with two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a tiny kitchen.

My mom and sister have helped a lot; they’ve hung up my posters, set up fairy lights, and stocked my fridge with all my comfort foods. It looks like me, which is a vibe I could have never created on my own. I just could also nearly shit my pants when I think about the reality of them, and the rest of my family, being 6+ hours away on a daily basis.

Whilst running errands and unpacking, my mom has been telling me stories about this town. She grew up here, along with generations of relatives on her side of the family. This comforts me; knowing that no matter how foreign it may seem, a piece of me belongs here. I have always been fascinated by ancestry, and how people’s pasts weave together. There is something that soothes my soul in the fact that we are all truly connected, and the world is small, no matter how vast it can feel. The scholarship I received may have been the final push in my decision to move here, but I am way too sentimental to pretend our family history wasn’t a large part of it.

“Your mind is spinning, I can see it. What are you thinking about?” Oops. I do that a lot. I get to thinking and then all of a sudden it's been hours since I've said a word. Luckily for me, this time it was only a few minutes. My mom can always see right through me, though.

“I’m just gonna miss you guys. A lot.”

“We will too, of course. I am so proud of you, though.”

I can feel my throat tighten and my eyes already starting to pool.

“You think I can do it? You really think this was the right choice?” At this point, I just need to hear their words of reassurance again so I don’t spiral.

“Y/n, you are so much more capable than you give yourself credit for. Of course you can do this. I have literally zero doubts.” My mom always knows what to say.

It’s no secret that I am hard on myself, I have been ever since I can remember. I just can’t help but have such high expectations of what I can do, or who I could be, that I don’t know how to turn the perfectionism switch off. I'm working on it, but I don't have high hopes of much change happening soon.

“You also got a legit scholarship! The school is practically begging you to be there.” I laugh. I love my sister. Not binge-watching reality tv together on the weekends will be one of the things I miss the most. Moving away feels like a transition out of the safe bubble I have lived in all my life. Making this change means leaving behind what I have always known, the safety and comfort. There is also a level of parting with childhood that is making this extra hard. What if I change? What if I don't like who I become? Instead of saying all of this, though, I opt for:

“What if I can’t make any friends?”

“You will. You are perfect friend material. Anyone who doesn’t see that is stupid and we hate them. Who needs them?”

Ok, true. “Thanks, guys. I love you!!”

“We love you the most.” My sister says, “Plus, I’m sure all the hot guys will see you walking around, looking all cute and studious, and instantly fall in love.” Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but I am going to roll with the confidence.

“Obviously.” I reply, laughing.

After delaying them from staying any longer, they eventually have to leave. We laugh, we cry, and we agree to text at least once a day. Soon I am standing in my apartment alone, taking in my new reality. Because I have to maintain some kind of order or else I will probably have a panic attack, I walk over to my desk and get out my journal. When in doubt, make a list of goals.

#1: Get good grades at school

We have to start somewhere, so I write the most basic thing I can think of.

#2: Get a job.

Again, basic, but this apartment won’t pay for itself.

#3: Find purpose and meaning in my life???

This one is a little less easy but, hey. These are goals right?

#4: Drink water.

Because it’s good to sandwich an existential crisis between things that are more attainable.

It’s been a week since I have moved in, and the fall semester is beginning. The first day of classes is easy, it’s all icebreakers and going over the syllabi. Meeting new people hasn’t really gone beyond just saying “Hi! Is anyone sitting here?” when I walk into classrooms but, at least it’s something.

I got a job at a bookstore only a few blocks from campus. It’s called Mont Blanc Books, taking inspiration from the ever-mysterious and inspiring mountain in Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley. I love it. The owner is an old married couple, who I instantly am obsessed with. I have decided that it is my life goal to be exactly like them. I pick up the skills to work there quickly; it's a lot of sitting behind a counter and helping people find books, so basically it is my dream job.

The bookstore is situated downtown, with other consignment and coffee shops surrounding it. I have also come to learn that there is a bar down the street, because occasionally during a night shift a drunk college student will wander in looking for a bathroom.

One night, as I step into the foggy street, I hear a group laughing and talking as they walk. Even from afar, I can tell the guys are tall. I can’t exactly make out their faces, as I squint to get a better look. I am way too nosy for my own good. There’s something intriguing about them though, and I can’t quite get myself to just leave. They have stopped, a couple of them leaning up against a wall of the building. They are still about a block away from me, so I can’t make out what they are saying. One of them is smoking a cigarette, and another seems to be telling a story. A few of them are chuckling, and I find myself almost cracking a smile too. They have an air about them that can’t be explained, like they are practically oozing with confidence. For good reason, too, because they each are so perfect they could be mistaken for statues if they weren’t obviously moving around.

Before I can stare any longer than I already have, one of them looks over at me, as if he could sense I was there. His dark hair falls over his face perfectly, and his eyes burn into mine. I look down quickly, and start to walk to my car. Hopefully he only noticed me looking for a second.

I don’t look back to the group until I get settled in my car. When I finally do steal a glance over, there he is, still looking my way. He remains at a distance, so I can’t be sure he even is looking at me, although with the intensity of his gaze I don’t know how to believe anything else. A shiver runs down my spine, and I leave.

–

I’m sitting in my Biology lab, writing up my report when I overhear girls talking at the table behind me.

“Wait. So what EXACTLY did you say?”

The other girl sighs heavily. “I just asked for his instagram.”

“And he said no??”

“No, he said he doesn’t have one.”

The other girl puffs out air, “Yeah, right.”

“I believe him. After some intense internet stalking last night I can’t find any of them on insta.”

Do they have to discuss their boy grievances so loud?

“It just seems weird. They are the hottest guys on campus. And I heard they have parties like- all the time. Why would guys so involved have literally zero social media presence?”

This isn’t the first time in the past week that I have heard people talking about these “guys”. My mind shifts to the group of guys outside the bar the other night. Could they be the same people? The ones I saw definitely looked like they would be college-age, and they looked like they would have the ‘hottest guys on campus’ reputation. I got chills thinking about the look the one gave me.

The first girl chimes in again saying “I don’t know. All I know is I call dibs on Jake.”

“Fine by me, Jay is all mine. He totally has that bad-boy vibe about him.”

“Okay everyone! We will finish this lab next week, so see you then.” The professor announces.

I gather my things and annoyingly can’t shake my head of these names. Jay, Jake…I have a strange feeling I am going to be hearing a lot more about all of these guys over the next few years.

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A/N: A little flashback moment :) The first few chapters went soooo fast so I wanted to take a min to go back to when Y/n first started at the University + her first encounter of the boys. This was lowkey so short but the next chapter is longer soooo... yeah that's all I really have to say about that hehe. (P.S. If you are wanting to read all the chapters in Part 1 before I post them here, they are all already posted on Ao3;))

#enhypen #sim jaeyun #ao3 fanfic #college au #kim sunoo #lee heeseung #nishimura riki #park jeongseong #park sunghoon #vampire au #enha x reader #jake as a perfect bf #jake x reader #jake x y/n #longer fic

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snippychicke · 1 year ago

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For the Sake of a Smile (V.2) Chapter Eight

Title: For the Sake of a Smile (Revised)

Overall Rating: Mature (18+)

Chapter Rating: T for teen.

Trigger warnings: Nothing beyond the child abuse hinted in the series, though we do explore the consequences a bit more.

Main Pairing: Balam Shichiro/Reader

Summary: Hell on earth was your motto for your job. Granted, you were pretty sure earth really was hell, considering the shit you had seen in your life. And the fact your coworker was a child.

A child named Suzuki Iruma, in fact. A kid who’s life was decidedly worse than yours, but yet he smiled despite everything. It wasn’t long after meeting him that you decided you’d do a lot for his smile. Including summoning a literal demon and signing your soul away.

But as it turns out, hell (The Netherworld, actually) was a lot better than living on earth. Demons were more humane than a lot of humans you knew.

And Iruma’s smile wasn’t the only one that would change your life.

Masterlist | Ao3| Mairimashitai! Simps Discord

Just a little walk, you had told yourself. Just far enough where you could growl and seethe in peace without anyone worrying about an evil cycle that would never come.

You had made sure the tent was still in sight before ducking behind a tree. And you were sure you didn't move as you sat there, your thoughts a chaotic whirlwind in your head. First rage, then the ache of betrayal. Anxiety. Depression.

How could everything just fall apart like this?

Yes you'd like Balam, far more than you should. You were attracted to every piece of him, inside and out.

But there was no doubt in your mind that he would never --could never-- feel the same for you. You were 'incredibly precious' to him only because you were human. You held the knowledge he had been after for who-knew how long. He would never see you in a romantic way, let alone…

Well, in the way you desired him.

You scrubbed away the tears as determination took root. You knew about the rumor, so you could set about correcting it. First by talking with Raim and Momonoki and telling them that despite whatever they heard, it was wrong. There was nothing between you and Balam.

You stood and marched around the tree…

Only to freeze.

--+--

Balam returned to the main camp in the early hours of the morning. He was more than a bit tired from using his mana all night, but still eager to take you up on your offer from the night before. It had been far too long since he was able to have you all to himself. Where he was able to focus on you and nothing else.

He had found a relatively safe place not too far from camp that he could take you for a quick breakfast picnic. A small clearing filled with benign flora, where the sunlight was able to break through the canopy. It would be a perfect place to share a meal with you.

Except, you weren't at the desk tallying the students' points as he expected. Instead Dali had taken your place, a faint frown on the other teacher's face.

"Oh! Balam!" The head teacher greeted as Balam approached. "You haven't seen Ms Suzuki, have you?"

"No. How long has she been absent?" Balam asked, hoping he didn't sound as panicked as he felt. Especially considering how high the stack Dali was working on compared to where you had been keeping it under control.

"Well, she said she was stepping out for some fresh air last night," He admitted. "But no one has seen her since. We had hoped maybe she was roped into helping some student through the night, given her nature."

Balam felt cold. No one had seen you since last night? "Did she go to one of the rest tents? Or one of the others?" You wouldn't go into the woods. You knew better than that. You wouldn't be so foolish.

Right?

"If she did, no one recalls seeing her. Though perhaps she's like the Purson clan? Still, I wouldn't expect her to abandon her post without…"

Dali looked up, but Balam was already gone.

--+--

Balam tore through the camp of tents in increasing panic. His fear only grew every time someone denied seeing you.

You knew the dangers of the forest. How many times had you promised him that you would be careful? That you wouldn't leave the camp? He had worried so much about you being part of the festival, but you had done so much to reassure you wouldn't leave that he had begun to believe you.

But here you were, only the second day, and you were missing. There were so many beasts and fauna that would love prey such as yourself. Things that you had no way of defending yourself against. You weren't skilled enough yet with your Runes to even protect yourself properly.

He forced himself to calm down and focus. He had to trust you. You were an adult, fully matured and aware of the dangers. You knew you were weak compared to the rest of the Netherworld, and guarded your secret carefully.

First things first, he had to find you. Balam allowed his mana to spread, just as he did through the night when checking on the students. A trick he had developed over the years of searching for creatures and keeping tabs on students.

Except this time he was focusing on your strange mana. He had made sure to take note of it when you showed off your budding skills with the Runes. If demons were specks of light, you were a speck of darkness against the void. It was an odd allegory, but it was the best way to describe it.

And if it had been hard to sense before, it was even harder to sense among the noise of the forest that was alive with other stronger sources of magic. To the point Balam nearly missed the small point of darkness, your mana far fainter than normal.

Which did nothing to help his anxiety.

Balam could feel the fringes of an Evil-Cycle try to settle over his mind and resisted against the feeling --as well as the changes-- that came with it while he raced in your direction.

You weren't far, thank Devi; barely passed the tree line, in fact. He called your name, hope blossoming as he rushed towards where you should be. He expected you to appear; maybe confused by his panic or smiling and completely unaware of the turmoil you had caused.

Except, you didn't.

He couldn't even see you despite knowing you had to be close. Balam could smell you at this point -- or rather Sullivan's masking cologne -- among the floral scents. Yet there was nothing but more trees leading to the depth of the forest.

It was by pure happenstance that he noticed the small white flowers on the hill of moss. Curled against one of the trees. Moss that wasn't benign.

'Creeping sleep' sphagnum.

'Shit.' Balam swore to himself. Instinct wanted to tear the moss with his talons, rage building that the plant would dare attack you. Yet he knew it was impossible to tell how thick it was, from less than a hair's breadth to a few inches. And he couldn't dare hurt you. Never mind your blood would make the situation worse, but the thought of even accidentally causing you harm made him ill.

So instead he knelt and used his hands to tear through the moss. At least the sphagnum didn't actively kill its victims, but caused them to fall asleep while it drained their mana.

It was small flowers that were the dangerous part. Or rather, the insects that they attracted. It wasn't a pleasant death, with the victims weakened by the mana-eating moss to the point that when they woke from being bitten by the flesh-eating bugs, they could hardly move let alone fight off the swarm.

--+--

The forest was empty of life, or at least any demons you associated with safety. There was something in the shadows of the trees, watching you. Hunting you as you ran.

And you had ran for hours upon hours yet never found a place to hide. Or the end of the forest despite knowing you hadn't traveled that far.

Or had you? Were you running away from civilization? Running deeper and deeper into the woods? So far no one would find you?

Then suddenly you were lifted up. You fought instinctively against whatever was holding you, your breath coming out in gasps making it so you couldn't even scream. You slapped and kicked as you were pulled against something far larger than yourself.

"Shh, it's okay." Balam’s voice soothed, cutting through the panic and fear. "It's okay, I promise."

You belatedly realized he was the one holding you. His hand buried in your hair as he clutched you tight to his chest. You weren't sure if it was his heart beat you were hearing, or your own thundering wildly. You didn't care. You were safe.

Distantly you could hear the sounds of the others. The forest was still a gloom but not as dark and terrifying as it had been seconds before

Was that-- had that all been a dream? But still you remembered everything so clearly! Getting up to go back to the camp and finding nothing. Panicking as you searched and searched for someone, anyone.

"Are you hurt?" Balam asked, though not pulling away. If anything, he clutched you tighter at the mere idea.

"No, I-I'm fine," You murmured against his chest, allowing your hands to clutch to him as you relaxed against him. You were tired, feeling like you really had run all night but otherwise you…

Wait. All night.

It was obviously day, with faint sunlight trickling through the heavy canopy. What you had meant to be a quick break to gather yourself had become an all night escapade apparently.

"I have to get back to work!" You tried to pull away but Balam was holding you tight and was unwilling to budge. "Balam…"

"Why?" He asked, interrupting you. "You promised."

You didn't even need him to clarify, you knew what he meant. Your conversation with Momonoki rang in your memory. Guilt and embarrassment rush through your veins. You didn't mean to worry anyone, but…

The Rumor.

Balam slowly pulled away, and you could see the emotions in his dark eyes. The remains of worry, the hurt of your broken promise.

"I…" You started hesitantly, unsure what to say. You were aware of his bloodline ability; if you lied, he would know instantly.

But how could you explain what made you do something so foolishly without thinking? That you took that risk because you were too emotional? That the cause of those emotions essentially boiled down to a rumor that you and him were an item.

That it flustered you because of how you felt for him despite knowing that he didn't see you in the same light.

"I just needed some space," You answered. It was true, after all. Just not the whole truth. "I didn't go far… I thought it would be okay."

"Nowhere in this forest is safe. Especially for you," He chided, "my little human. "

Your heart thumped traitorously, convinced it was a term of endearment. But it wasn't. You knew it wasn't. His interest in you was solely because you were human.

"I'm sorry," You repeated. He allowed you to pull away this time, though he stayed knelt on the forest floor while you stood. You avoided his gaze, tried to pretend not to notice he was prepared to act if you showed the smallest hint of weakness.

He was a researcher, and you were his prize specimen. That was all.

You made a show of dusting off your black coat - which was covered in dirt - but also a convenient excuse to linger until the world stopped spinning. There was worry still in his expression, even as you smiled reassuringly.

"Come on, we both have work to do."

--+--

Oddly no one asked what happened or seemed bothered by your prolonged absence. Dali was gracious enough to help you catch up on tickets, cheerfully talking about past harvest festivals as.you worked.

All the while Balam virtually hovered nearby, trying to act like he wasn't keeping an eye on you but failing miserably.

"He won his harvest festival," Dali said after catching you side-eying Balam. "It was actually quite surprising. Babyls students weren't as… friendly as they are now. The students spent most of the festival manipulating and stealing from one another. Everyone's focus was on keeping students from accidently dying while thinking whomever was the most devious would win. But then came little wiry Balam Shichiro with nearly sixty-thousand points right before the end."

"Little?" You laughed trying to imagine Balam as a child and failing he was just so big! Tall…buff, yet oddly soft and soothing…

'Quit it!' You chided yourself, focusing back on your work.

"Oh yes. He was actually quite small and adorable back then," Dali continued with the impish tone that didn't bode well. "He could have been a devidol as a child except for his face."

Your stomach twisted partly to think that he had been injured at a young age, partly… "I'm sure his face was just as adorable then as it is now," You said without thinking, proverbial feathers ruffled on his behalf as you turned.to Dali.

And realized the trap when Dali's smile became faintly wicked. "So you have seen his face, and find him adorable?"

"Well! N-not adorable persay, but not bad looking!" You spluttered before quickly trying to defend yourself. "And yes, I have heard the rumor! And no, there isn't anything between us!"

"That's a shame," He sighed dramatically to the point you had a feeling he didn't believe you. "You two would be so cute together."

You were sure your face was as flushed as could be. "I-I need something to drink!" You squeaked as you jumped to your feet, Dali's laughter chasing you out the tent.

You barely took a breath of the fresh air before a shadow fell over you. "I'm just going to get something from the canteen," You told Balam without looking up. "You don't need to worry so much."

"You're looking rather red. I was worried about a fever or something," He explained. It was easy for him to step around you and crouch to study your face. He reached out and felt your forehead for a fever, making your heart jump even more.

Why? Why did he have to be so thoughtful and caring? You hadn't the faintest idea how he wasn't one of most loved demons at Babyls with a fanclub of his own like Professor Kalego.

"You do feel warmer than usual," He mused.

You bit your lip and pulled his hand away from your face, though your fingers tangling with his. "I promise, I'm fine. Just a little overheated."

He didn't look too convinced, and was likely going to argue until Kalego called both of your names. You hoped he would convince Balam to stop hovering. Because as much as you secretly liked the attention, it was probably only incriminating both of you.

And it was definitely not helping you squish your own feelings.

"Have either of you seen Iruma?" Kalego continued with his trademark scowl on his face.

"Er, no?" Both you and Balam answered, with the same tone of confusion as well. After all, Iruma was participating in the festival, why or how would you've seen him?

Granted, there were the camera-bats, but you hadn't been able to check any of the Misfits progress since returning.

"Why?" Balam continued as Kalego's scowl deepened. "Has he done something?"

"Something idiotic, more than likely," Kalego scoffed. "Lied has somehow managed to find The Pot, so I presume that means Iruma is searching for The Seed. However, it's been over twelve hours since any sightings of the boy."

Your heart dropped, your previous flustered state completely forgotten. No one had seen Iruma in how long?!

Balam scooped you up before you could move, one arm beneath your knees and the other supporting your back. His mind wasn't frozen with shock like your own, and you didn't even need to question why he picked you up.

Because your mind went from being frozen to running a thousand thoughts per second; all of them of the same concept.

Find Iruma. Assure he was safe. And Balam would not be a fan of that plan.

"Balam," You growled, "let me go find my son."

"The cambats wouldn't follow him if he was close to the Seed. But we did place safety measures to assure any students wouldn't be in too much danger. He'll be okay."

You frowned, partially feeling as if he was just saying that to try and calm you. But you saw Kalego nod his head faintly in agreement, though a frown still remained on his face. After all, why would he be concerned if there wasn't a reason.

"It shouldn't have taken this long," Kalego stated. "Even if he failed the trial, he should have appeared by now."

Something was wrong. Something had happened and no one had noticed until now. You could only imagine one disaster after another, each worse than the last.

This had been a bad idea. You had wanted to give Iruma space to grow and be himself, so scared to become a helicopter parent. But ever since he had gone on the tuna ship, it had been one disaster after another.

You needed to protect him, make up for the negligence of his parents. Were you any better than them for allowing him too much freedom? Yes, he was mature for his age and responsible, but this wasn't earth, this was the Netherworld.

Not that you could do anything. You were even weaker than him, and obviously ill prepared to be a mother or guardian here.

A tremor shook the forest, Balam's grip on you tightening as he held you close to his chest. It was like something snapped. Allowing your fears and anxiety overwhelm you as you clutched to Balam.

You had failed Iruma. You had sworn and signed a contract to protect him as a mother and you failed.

No, this was deeper than the contract you had signed with Sullivan, you really felt as if Iruma was your son, and you had failed him. You had tried so hard and still, look at what happened. You weren't fit to look after a pet, let alone another human being.

Devi, Iruma. The boy that could smile at anything, would never say no and carried on no matter what kind of responsibility was placed on his tiny shoulder. Probably the most pure, innocent soul. First sold to a demon by his birth parents, and now failed by you.

Balam called your name a few times, though you felt despondent as reality settled in your mind. The road to hell was paved with good intentions, and here you were to prove it.

The people in your past were right. You weren't good at anything. All you ever did was fuck thing up, causing one disaster after another, bring only misery and grief to whomever knew you.

"Lied! I have the Seed of Beginning!"

The familiar voice cut through your darkening thoughts. You looked up; unsure when Balam had carried you back to the tent, and rather uncaring when you saw Iruma on one of the monitors, covered in dirt and a bit scuffed up. But alive. In one piece.

Smiling. He looked so proud and accomplished.

Your emotions welled in your throat, tears stinging your eyes.

"He has it," Balam muttered, sounding astonished. "He actually has it."

A small hysterical giggle left your lips, and quickly grew into full blown laughter. "That's my boy. That's my boy!" You buried your face into Balam's chest, still laughing and grinning as you overheard Kalego lecture the boy.

Your panic had been just a short few minutes, but they had been literal hell. Or - worse than hell, to be honest.

But he was okay. Thank god, Devi, whatever forces were looking out for Iruma. He was okay.

Your laughter came to an abrupt halt with a shriek of surprise as Balam suddenly lifted you up, just one of his arms supporting your hips against his side. You gripped the feathers covering his shoulders, heart once more pounding in your chest as you looked down at him.

He was grinning. Even with the mask covering half his face, there was no hiding the pride and joy on his face. "He's found it! They're going to win!"

Your shock melted away and you grinned back down at him. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you rested your forehead against his, both of you laughing with joy.

The emotional whiplash was still playing tricks on you. So overcome with relief you didn't even give a thought to how it might look, only how you felt. Iruma was safe. You were safe. Balam was sharing your happiness, which only intensified the bond you felt for him.

He cared for your son, joyous on Iruma's safe return. More than that, the boy had done the impossible. The Legendary Leaf that had been elusive and rumored to be a myth was now within reach.

"They haven't won yet, you two," Kalego was quick to remind you, breaking the moment. "As long as they still possess the seed and pot, they have zero points."

"Oh shush, you know you're just as relieved," Balam said with fond humor coloring his words and expression as he looked over at the other teacher. "I'm pretty sure your first question was 'are you hurt?'"

"Because I am his teacher!" Kalego defended with a huff. "His safety comes first, that's all!"

The two bickered back and forth good-naturedly, all the while Balam still supported you as if you weighed nothing, his forearm braced your upper thighs to his side. He was so warm; soft yet strong. You could feel his muscles beneath your hands, beneath your backside as you more or less sat on his forearm. Yet, his waist was narrow enough your legs just wanted to wrap around him for extra support.

You barely stopped yourself from doing so, knowing if you did it would likely only make things worse. Heck, you should probably be demanding to be sat down, but couldn't find the strength. You felt safe like this, which was sorely needed of the emotional rollercoaster.

You could see over Balam's head as well as everyone else as they either celebrated and chatted about the Leaf or the other antics of the Misfits, or carried on with their work, determined not to dally. It was so odd to see everything from this perspective. Not even more than just a few feet at most, yet everyone else seemed smaller.

While gazing at the others, a sprig of green amongst white caught your attention. You noticed a few small scraps of leaves caught in Balam's short white hair that was now eye level. You didn't even think before automatically pulling the leaves and even a small twig from the fine white strands before mindlessly running your fingers through it, looking for anything else that might be stuck.

That and despite being short and stubby, Balam's hair was soft and silky. It felt wonderful running your fingers through it.

Your mind caught back up with your actions as Balam's grip tightened on you slightly for a moment, his muscles tensing beneath your one hand that was on his shoulder to help your balance.

This was probably not something you should be doing, especially here and now of all places. Dozens of other demons probably aware of the rumor watching carefully, gleefully thinking they had further proof of your… relationship.

You looked down, and your fears were confirmed by the indiscernible expression on his face. "Uh, you had a leaf…" You offered, wishing you had kept the proof instead of allowing it to drop to the floor below. He didn't react, but kept his eyes trained on yours - making your heart thump once more. There was something… odd in his expression, the look in his eyes. His dark pupils were wider, and you realized he was holding his breath.

"If you two are finished flirting," Kalego interrupted, destroying the moment. Or rather, making it worse. You blushed heavily as Balam seemed to catch himself. Balam quickly-- but carefully --set you back down before taking a polite step away. Before you could even try to reason with Kalego, or the other demons who were now boasting devious smiles and barely-contained laughter, Kalego continued. "There will be even more students withdrawing after that debacle. Or worse, becoming desperate and foolish. We should go, Shichiro."

"Right," Balam agreed, though paused to look at you. You could tell he wanted to say something, yet seemed unsure.

Instead he settled to stroke your hair gently before following the other teacher. Leaving you baffled as they left.

What exactly had been up with that look on his face? What kind of taboo had you breached? You were just picking leaves from his hair, surely that wasn't abnormal?!

Demons weren't human. As hard as that was to remember, it was certainly something you needed to keep in mind. Yes, humans bonded through such displays of caring for one another. There was nothing inherently sensual about helping someone with their hair, or tucking in a shirt tab.

What if in demons, it was? Was that why everyone thought you two were dating? Were you constantly sending mixed signals, and he was just too nice to correct you? The thought made your stomach twist and your anxiety build up yet once again.

--+--

Elsewhere, Balam was lost in somewhat-similar thoughts as he trekked through the forest; though also keeping an ear for students as he followed Kalego.

"You don't think we were actually flirting, right?"

Kalego barely paused, but shot a disbelieving look towards the larger demon. "Half of Babyls believes you two are courting." He spat the word as if it was abhorrent, though the taller demon barely registered his insinuation.

"They… really think that?" Balam was used to rumors; after all, the student body was convinced he experimented on students after hours. But this was much different. Instead of feeling crushed, he was… well, he wasn't quite sure.

He knew he liked you - in a different way than he cared for others - but… was that really love? You were very special to him, and he often found himself thinking about you. Or wanting to talk to you. Or wanting to see you.

And then you had pulled that leaf from his hair. Maybe it was just merely close to the molting season that he could already feel his head and wings itching, but…

There was no way you knew how significant grooming others was - let alone his kind - during molt, nonetheless.

Actually, he had to keep in mind what demons saw as flirting and signs of affection may not be so significant to you. Humans were far more compassionate than demons, easily creating social bonds with anyone. You and Iruma trusted so readily, wore your heart on your sleeve without a care. You fussed and mothered nearly every child you met, felt empathy for nearly everyone you met.

Just because you cared for him didn't mean your interest was romantic, or anything special even.

"You're a bit obvious," Kalego sighed. "And apparently oblivious as well. If you honestly think courting Lord Sullivan's daughter is a wise decision, then by all means, proceed-" Kalego continued grimly. "But leave me out of it. I have to deal with the chairdemon and Opera enough as it is."

"But… do you really think she likes me in that way?"

Kalego's dark look shifted into a deadpan expression. "Please tell me you're kidding, Shichiro."

Balam shyly fiddled with his fingers, his face a faint pink. Balam could admit, it was probably foolish to pose the question to Kalego, who wasn't aware of your true nature…

But he was aware of how caring you were. And, just maybe, what the guard dog of Babyls saw was something different.

An aggrieved sigh echoed loudly through the forest as Kalgeo rubbed his forehead. "I think there is a high probability that she at least finds you attractive," He bit out. "And she obviously enjoys your company."

Even the mask couldn't hide the smile that bloomed on Shichiro’s face, despite the fact the demon looked equally flustered as well.

Despite his doubts, Balam found himself unable to squash that small ember of hope smoldering in his heart. Hope that maybe you felt something different, -- something special-- for him. Hope that you could look past his scar and admitted flaws and somehow still find him… well, he didn't dare hope that you would somehow find him attractive, but maybe at least agreeable.

--+-- Su-Ki-Ma--+--

"Go back to your real parents. I don't know why I ever wanted to adopt you anyways."

Iruma froze, his heart breaking at your words. The cold look in your eyes, the sneer of disgust on your lips as you looked down at him as he knelt in the dirt.

You… you were the first person that had cared about him. The closest thing he had to a mother. He had come to love and depend on you after everything he went through.

He could remember so clearly the times you had tucked him into bed, the lumpy futon you insisted he use while you slept on the hard floor. You fussed over him every time he felt under the weather, or was injured - even if it was a minor papercut! You took on the boss at the fish factory and anyone else if they dared to even look at him funny, uncaring of what consequences you were invoking.

Or those cold rainy nights, and you tried to keep things light and cheery by finding an old dvd player and a few cheap movies to watch as you both curled underneath a blanket fort. When the darker memories tried to catch up with him, you were there like a ray of light to remind him things would be okay.

It had truly been a home.

He looked up at the uncaring expression on your face. No. His parents may come after him, looking to exploit him even more. Grandpa might even allow them to take him away, and his dear friends might leave him once they discovered he was human.

But you never would turn your back on him. You had sold your soul just to be in the Netherworld with him. You were his mother. Iruma knew without a shred of doubt that no matter what, you cared for him. You loved him as much as he loved you.

Iruma grabbed his feather from his broach, using his fierce determination mixed with the certainty of your love to summon his bow.

He would win this. He was going to strive to be the best demon a human could be. And he knew you would be cheering him on every step of the way, full of pride.

Because that's what a true mother did.

#mairimashita! iruma kun #welcome to demon school iruma kun #balam shichiro #balam/reader #suzuki iruma #lord sullivan #kalego naberious #balam shichiro x reader

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b3st-sunday-dr3ss · 1 month ago

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OK SO @urmomatron700 I GOT SOME LORE DOWN FOR THE COUNTRY:

After a war that seemingly happened out of nowhere finally yielded, there was nothing left of the world, save for a decent sized archipelago that was once pieces of Oceania’s many island countries—the majority of the land being from Australia. This archipelago formed from continuous carpet bombing campaigns literally tearing the world apart, causing these pieces of land to break off from their once mainlands.

These archipelagos were eventually artificially shaped to become a country called Frua Fleur, which in a now-extinct language (called Frualese) that the people of the country made up means “Earth’s final flower”—emphasizing how they were humanity’s last hope for survival.

The first few years of the country’s existence was focused on scouring the utterly destroyed land that they once called home for any supplies they could use to construct new buildings for their island home. Many of the people who helped retrieve the supplies from the now-inhabitable land they once called home described seeing the unidentifiable bodies and broken dreams buried under rubble from the destruction the war caused to be “heart wrenching”. Many of the people who helped out got diseases such as Radiation Poisoning from the nuclear waste left from the power plants that had had meltdowns from no workers being there, or from the areas—mostly in North America and Eurasia—that had been repeatedly struck with nuclear warheads. The fear that the diseased helpers brought caused mass hysteria throughout the archipelago. Some people fell into such a deep hysteria that they swam to an island once known as Blueberry Island, forced the citizens who already lived there out, and tore the island to shreds. It is now considered hostile and inhabitable, and all maps are required to mark the island as “POINT OF NO RETURN” to discourage any Fleurians from attempting to go there. Any citizen who makes any attempt to travel to the island faces punishments ranging from prison time to execution.

Thankfully, none of the diseases that the people returned to Frua Fleur had contracted were transmissible, even the newly discovered ones, such as Permanent Insomnia. But the people of Frua Fleur weren’t out of the woods yet. In fact, everything was getting much worse by the time the hysteria ended. Things that should’ve garnered more hysteria than they did.

Nuclear fallout from the damaged continents was one of Frua Fleur’s biggest threats—other than starvation. Prior to the first underground shelters being built, people would be getting deathly ill from Radiation Poisoning and other nuclear-borne illnesses. Citizens started to drop like flies, something that the relatively small population of Frua Fleur couldn’t bear. About 15,000 of the 50,000 people who were the first to arrive to Frua Fleur died from fallout-related illness alone.

Starvation was another big killer, claiming 20,000 of the Fleurians’ lives, reducing the population to only about 15,000 people. There were little animals that could be brought to the archipelago. As a result, meat and dairy products were difficult to produce. In addition, the mixed soil from numerous island countries made it insanely difficult to determine what crops could grow where. This caused many attempts at developing an agriculture system for Frua Fleur to turn out futile. The lack of farming was the biggest killer when it came to starvation deaths.

Both of these killers greatly hindered the development of the nation, and many citizens saw their futures as hopeless and full of nothing but a grueling death at the hands of starvation or potential disease.

Fortunately, the scientists of the country eventually figured out how to make the soil compatible with any crop—essentially making faux soil—and developments in the country’s development and population growth could finally continue.

rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 :3

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sheismo · 6 months ago

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⚠️LONG POST ALERT ⚠️

Witchcraft is real. Manifesting is real. Spells & rituals are real. Yes, there are other gods. But you know what’s more real than all ? GOD. The one and only messiah, the Lord of lords. The King of kings. The father, son & spirit. Jesus. I want to give yall a mini testimony on how REAL & GOOD God is. I pray one day if you don’t know God you seek him & he comes to you. ✨

I was once a self proclaimed witch. I did rituals and spells to aquire money,happiness,love and montery gains. I have always been a spirituality in tune person. Very young I realized I had the gifts of clairvoyance,clairempathy & dreaming. All given to me by God. A few years back I was searching for a deeper meaning and I began to dabble in new age spirituality. Not knowing the consequences of my actions ,I began trusting others with my energy and relying on them with the help of readings & rituals for messages forgetting how powerful and annoited my purpose was from God himself. I needed NOBODY but God yet I was so native to think that I needed the help of others when I should’ve been calling on him to help me with my gifts & the things he had blessed me with. I know now that was the devil though. Spirits of mammon & ego were wrapped all around my life. I was cocky,materialistic & just ignorant to my own ways. While God was blessing me the devil was working behind the scenes to make things around me fall apart. The enemy is out to kill, steal & destroy. The devil will show up in MANY ways. A lot of things aren’t demonic because of what it is but how it is used to pull you away from God (i.e : crystal bracelets,music & etc) Remember that. Spirits and entities can literally latch onto your life and cause havoc especially when there is a special light within you ! I am now a strong believer in God’s WILL & PURPOSE for each and every one of our lives. It’s not our job to manipulate the scales for our own gains. We must wake up to the fact that we need nothing that isn’t from God ! We must understand material things & things of the world are not eternal. Seeking & standing with the Lord is. Spells & rituals aren’t necessary when you wholeheartedly stand with God. You will see your power then. We must die to our flesh,sins and our desires.

Throughout my childhood my ancestors & relatives unbeknownst practiced hoodoo & not going to lie I ran with that as an excuse to do my rituals & etc but the main thing I abandoned was my relationship with GOD. One of my great great grandfathers by the name of Fountain Love (what a cool name) was a well renounced pastors in a small country town just 30 mins from where I grew up. That stuck with me. So ignorantly I ran with that I also am very blessed to have praying grandmothers who I swear prayers are just ELITE. ✨ If you know anything about hoodoo you know how deep Christianity runs in that practice. Prayer is literally so powerful & the Bible itself is seen as talisman. But overall your relationship with God is essential. Jesus to be specific. Old hymns,shouting & speaking in tongues is native to African Americans. Our people.

Ignorantly, I was one of those “God knows where my heart is.” & “The Bible is fake & man made.” Two things can be right at once. God did know where my heart was & he knew I loved him but I was NOT doing the right things nor seeking him & yes the Bible is man made but it’s the living word ! It is real accounts orally passed down which was written into a book. Look at the world then look at the Bible. The profit is in the pudding. The Bible is timeless. I had never really opened a Bible as an adult & most of the things I remember from going to all those churches were a few bible verses & sermons. I had never dug deep in the word of God. As a child I went to many churches and I still struggled to connect with God & I prayed prayed prayed but only when I was in need of something. I even spoke in tongues before but still it was like a wall was up between my connection with God. I also had a preconceived presumption as well about how the Bible was used to manipulate slaves during slavery & how “church folks” were the most judgmental. Again, two things can be true at once. The Bible was used to manipulate our ancestors however the Bible has been around longgggg before the transatlantic slave trade. Christianity has been dated back to African literally in the 1st & 2nd century however slave masters used the Bible centuries later as a manipulation tactic & twisted scripture to fit their own agenda. And yes a lot of have us have church hurt and “Christians” in the church can be very ill-mannered but Jesus hated religion himself because there was many hypocrites and hypocrisy. Everyone who claims to know Jesus really doesn’t & everyone who claims him won’t go to heaven. It’s that simple. Stop putting a name on it & running to the church but seek God on your OWN ! Relationship over religion. I don’t consider myself a Christian because of the blasphemy on that term I just identify as a follower of Christ. I follow God not man. The elders and the church have been lukewarm & a lot of them rely on their pastor/leadership for guidance instead of God himself. Also the whole “White man religion” topic is blasphemous. Jesus was just a vessel of the lord himself. Understand that first. And although I walk with Christ don’t get it twisted.. I’m not ignorant to the fact that the Jesus we see on murals & pictures again was a manipulation tactic during the transatlantic slave trade. Jesus appearance is described in Revelation 1:14-15 that his skin was a darker hue and that his hair was woolly in texture. The hairs of his head, it says, "were white as white wool, white as snow. His eyes were like a flame of fire, his feet were like burnished bronze, refined as in a furnace.” To be honest I don’t care if he was purple. Jesus was and is the almighty. We must not get caught up on appearances or looks. That keeps us divided. Some people might even question why would God allow slavery and segregation be a thing or bad things in general. We must understand that God has given us free will. Humans were made imperfect yet we disobey God and has had to reap the consequences of our actions since then. Even through misery & hardship God has been with us. The devil is in some things but God is in EVERYTHING. Sometimes God wants us to be taught lessons as well. There is rules,commandments & laws we must abide by to have favor in the most highs eyes. But know that you’re forgiven as long as you repent & dwell with him.

February 2024 I found God. I accepted him as my savior again. I remember doing it as a child but this time I had do reiterate my LOVE & FAITH to him. I confess with my heart and my tongue that Jesus Christ is my SAVIOR. I was tired of being tired. I really cried out to God to show me signs. I went from doing rituals to reading the Bible. I literally began to see my life and my disobedience in front of me. I prayed for God to show who I was and ever since then it’s been UP. My load is so much lighter already being I have denounced so many things from my life. He’s playing no games it’s uprooting me from the attacks that the devil has put on my life & areas where Ive been too comfortable; I feel his presence more than ever. I hear his voice as clear as day, he’s opening my eyes to who and what is around me , I’ve even thrown so much new age stuff away. I was tired of carrying the load along. I was yearning for his presence & deliverance. I know I still have a ways to go, he’s calling me more and more each day to align with his will for my kids. He’s convicted me of so many things such as lust,anger,greed & etc and i know i must begin to change and work on myself in order to be fulfilled. The spiritual warfare is real as i expected. The devil doesn’t want me to find out what my calling is .. he knows how powerful I am. But with God on my side I’m good. 💪🏾 I’m so happy to say I am a child of GOD. 💐

I’m so thankful I’ve been awaken to the glory of God. Everything is spiritual and everything is deep. Jesus is coming back & we must prepare ourselves for his return so that we may live an eternity with him in paradise. Seek the lord & live by his commandments and you shall see him in everything and everywhere. 🌟🙌🏾

“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. “ - Psalm 46:5

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ama-factkin · 1 year ago

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i understand why people are against factkin when it comes to recently alive people or currently alive people. not that I think it can be controlled but some people need to seriously stop glorifying and putting certain sources out there so publicly at the least. But all arguments against factkin fall apart when you think about it in the context of ancient historical figures, people who died over a thousand years ago have no real effect on the people alive today and it's hard to claim it's disrespectful because what we know about said figures beyond that point is likely a caricature and we'll never know how they truly were and what truly happened in their life. So I DONT understand the absolutely-no-factkin attitude in the wider kin community. No matter what you believe there's sections of this community that are entirely harmless and respectful, so why do people act like it's evil?

There is no point in drawing lines as to which factkin are acceptable and which ones are not. Kintypes do not equal behaviour. They can influence it, sure, but at the end of the day peoeple are responsible for their own actions.

Speaking as someone who has a medieval kintype, a Victorian kintype, a Renaissance kintype, a recently deceased kintype and a kintype that is currently alive: I don't understand why people are uncomfortable with some of my kintypes and not others. I mean, I understand that there is a reason given. It's the reason that makes no sense to me.

If I can be Peter III of Aragon, who lived in the 1200's, I can be Eminem. The situation is not actually that different. Yes, it is different in that one is alive and one is not, but these are both famous people who have lived in this universe whom I identify as on a spiritual level and will never personally meet. If I did hypothetically meet either of them would I tell them that I'm factkin? No! Marshall Mathers would definitely think it was weird and Peter would probably have me executed for claiming to be him (the king) because he wouldn't understand what the words "factkin" and "multiverse" mean! The stipulation that "only dead factkin are okay" makes no sense to me because these two identities feel the exact same to me and I am not doing anything to hurt anyone regardless!

The other reason this stipulation makes no sense to me is the fact that who is alive and who is dead changes literally every minute. At the risk of sounding insensitive: I am David Bowie and as of 2016 he is dead. Was it "wrong" for me to be David Bowie prior to his death? Is it okay now? At what time does it become okay? Some people say "it's not okay because his relatives could be upset by it" but then I'd like to bring up Edgar Allan Poe! His descendants are still alive. Am I hurting them? I can't see how I would be: I don't know who they are and they don't know who I am.

I understand that people feel differently about different parts of the factkin community but it seems like so many people draw lines arbitrarily. People are individuals and a having a kintype does not make you a bad person. Likewise, a kintype is not an excuse for bad behaviour. Remember: most factkin aren't stalkers and most stalkers aren't factkin. Is there a small population of that venn diagram that overlaps? Probably. You know what other venn diagram overlaps? People who eat lobster and stalkers. People who make furniture and stalkers. Correlation is not causation. Just because there is a population that does both things does not mean one causes the other.

In my mind there is no viable reason to support some parts of the factkin community and not others. No kintype is "evil" because being otherkin is not an action with moral weight.

Thank you for the ask!

#factkin #otherkin #i hope this is readable #I'm on mobile. usually I type on desktop

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otter1962crystalball · 5 months ago

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Love, Depression & Letting Go.

June 14th, 2024

Happy 14th Day of Pride! Today I am writing about falling in love along with letting go when the love flies away and how depression and anxiety can almost destroy a person.

As I look back on my life since seroconverting, depression was often waiting in the wings for me. Yesterday I wrote of the deep depression I felt over losing Eddy the first time. When I decided to leave, I had concerns about living alone in a small city such as Jonquière, Québec. Very few people spoke English, with the exception of the teachers at the CEGEP de Jonquière. This was college level teaching in ESL (English as a Second Language). I felt very isolated and didn’t really make any friends while teaching there. I was also teaching step and aerobics at a local gym. I didn’t really befriend anyone. In fact, I had to insist a woman leave me alone as she stalked me. I guess that she hadn’t figured out that I was not going to hook up with her. Who knows, maybe she thought she could change me…

Anyway, during that year of teaching ESL, the only person I really talked to was a former professor from my degree. We had hit it off because he and his wife were living there at the time. Most of my time was taken up with walking Bailey and playing on the internet. I had to do so at the CEGEP in the teacher’s lounge because back in those days most houses didn’t have Internet yet. I’d sign in and go to the lounge and hook up to IRC (Inter Relay Chat). I just looked it up on the Internet and it still exists!

Once on, I would link into gay chatrooms. You could only type text and send pictures to someone. It was there that I met a guy that I will call “Jeff.” We chatted on a regular basis and I found out he lived in Vancouver. I told him that I was going to move there to go to the University of British Columbia to upgrade my teaching degree. Jeff and I really started sharing a lot and we started talking about what might happen when we met. We had exchanged pictures and there was a connection, so we both started looking forward to meeting each other. This took place in the dead of winter and it was so bloody cold there. All I could think of was escaping and going to Vancouver.

So, when school was done, I resigned and packed about 15 boxes and sent them to my sister’s place by UPS. Bailey, TC, Bob and Marnie came with me. To be honest, I can’t even remember how I got to the Montreal airport. I do remember getting the dog and cats ready to fly.

When I arrived in Vancouver, my sister took Bailey to a vet where they boarded dogs. The cats came with me to her apartment. Not long after, I found an apartment in the West End. It was a filthy apartment, but relatively cheap back in those days. I spent a long time cleaning it and painting the walls and the kitchen cabinets. Jeff and I hung out and began a relationship.

The next year, we moved in together, first in his current apartment and then the top floor of a duplex. Later, we bought a townhouse together. We were a couple for almost five years.

One day, Jeff decided that he didn’t like our sexual lives together, of which I won’t go into detail. That night he decided, we were lying in bed and he told me he wanted out. I got upset and moved to the second bedroom. I was in such shock that I couldn’t sleep. I even ended up in the hospital, where the doctor gave me some Ativan to take and told me to go home. This was the start of one of the most deep depressions that I have ever lived.

I felt totally lost. I managed to continue to work at my school where I now had a permanent position. I literally tried to escape living in the townhouse with Jeff, so I moved into a friend’s place. That didn’t work out too well as the friend made passes at me and I was too weak to say no and let him. This was winter of 2001, when I went home to my parents’ for Christmas, so depressed that I couldn’t function. It was also the time when my father had his first stroke. The whole family got together to decide what to do.

I could barely function. My older brother told me to stop being so glum - it was a part of life for a parent to have a stroke. Little did my brother know what I was going through. We all decided our parents live in a condo that was easy to navigate for my Dad.

After that, I went to my sister’s for a while, but her male partner didn’t like me. I think that he was rather homophobic. So part way into my stay, my sister came and told me that she was putting me on a plane because the two of them needed to set their New Year’s goals. I knew the real reason and didn’t speak to my sister for almost ten years.

When I got home, I immediately went to another friend’s place because I didn’t want to be sexually harassed by the other guy. Looking back at the time, I was depressed over losing Jeff, not being able to function well at work or do much of anything.

The townhouse that Jeff I owned was sold and I got a nice sum of money. I ended buying a condo in the West End. I hit a snag because the bank where I was requesting the mortgage made unreasonable demands. The representative made me get a second line of credit with another bank in order to allow me to get a mortgage. It turned out that he was being very unreasonable and I got another representative who really took me under his wing. This snag made my depression even worse.

I settled into my condo and I tried to move on. I spent many nights walking around the West end, the seawall or going to the bathhouse. Tuesdays were cheap locker night. A friend convinced me to go so that I wouldn’t stay at home and be depressed. The anonymous sex did help, I guess.

And then, one night it all changed. I’ll tell you about that tomorrow. I began this blog about how depression could destroy someone. It almost destroyed me…

I want to finish off by saying that I’ve skipped many, many details in all of my blog entries. Maybe, I should write a book… For Pride, I am celebrating support for those who are depressed. I needed an ear to share all of my pain and I’ve always been open to returning the favour to anyone who needed the same. If you know someone who is depressed, reach out to them. It could change things for that person to know there is someone who will listen.

Carpe diem, everyone. Happy Pride!

#depression #gay #pride #support #Help others #carpe diem #surviving depression #getting support

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