#literally obsessed with my lightsaber in Jedi Survivor by the way

[thedroidsyouarelookingfor]

66 hours played, 90% of PlayStation trophies earned

I’m calling it there for now and getting ready to shift into Zelda mode. But my queue is stacked!

And I updated my profile picture. Baby is all grown up!

[charmwasjess]

I woke up today and chose violence, so this is my "Rael Averross is Luthen Rael" in Andor endgame theory.

"Calm. Kindness. Kinship. Love. I’ve given up all chance at inner peace. I’ve made my mind a sunless space. I share my dreams with ghosts. I wake up every day to an equation I wrote 15 years ago from which there’s only one conclusion, I’m damned for what I do. My anger, my ego, my unwillingness to yield, my eagerness to fight, they’ve set me on a path from which there is no escape. I yearned to be a savior against injustice without contemplating the cost and by the time I looked down there was no longer any ground beneath my feet." - Luthen Rael (on why he's a fucking Jedi)

Luthen Rael, a Jedi?! Yeah kinda really seems like it

I'm hardly the first person to have picked up the hints that Luthen Rael was a Jedi at one point. He whips out a kyber crystal like it's nothing, specifies that his whole life changed 15 years ago (count back to Order 66), perceives that his embrace of anger instead of a list of ideals that sound a lot like the Jedi code is a failing, and the "share my dreams with ghosts" line sure does sound like the survivor of a genocide that targeted a specifically psychic community of people. He carries around that stupid wooden "walking stick" thing that's obviously a barely-disguised lightsaber. His fucking SHIP has a big lightsaber beam for christsakes.

In a universe where several Jedi do survive to go on to help the Rebellion under assumed identities, it's not a stretch to think that there's a conveniently-placed, established one still on Coruscant working for the proto-Rebellion in the years leading up to Andor.

So why do I think Luthen is Rael Averross, Dooku's first apprentice?

The clue in their similar names would certainly keep with the tradition of Jedi in hiding barely changing their names (looking at you "Ben" Kenobi who dresses in ... a Jedi robe.) But there's more than that.

The last time anyone saw Rael Averross was the end of the Master and Apprentice novel, where he's at the end of a 7-year-mission out of the Temple, faced with the possibility of joining Dooku, and uncertain about his future with the Jedi Order. While he ultimately doesn't decide to follow in Dooku's footsteps, his future after that does not seem clear. We don't see him again, not even in Tales of the Jedi. We know he was brought to the Temple very late (at age 5) and judging from Pijal, is very comfortable living outside the Temple as a regular guy. We know he has some difficulty feeling a sense of belonging in the Jedi Order, which seems to have worsened after Dooku left. If he left the Jedi at some point after Pijal, as he seems to have at least considered, he could have been well placed to survive Order 66.

There are other small details that could hint at their shared identity. Luthen's profession, running an antique shop full of very significant prequel easter eggs, fits with some backstory - Dooku's preoccupation with artifacts and Rael Averross's likely exposure to them. In fact, the Jedi prophecy holocrons that Dooku, Qui-Gon, and Rael all seem to obsess over at various points are even literally present, stashed in his shop. He doesn't speak with a Coruscanti accent. He's in possession of a blue kyber crystal (Averross fights with a blue lightsaber.) Rael Averross is politically connected from his time as regent on Pijal; Luthen Rael also utilizes such political connections. Luthen Rael even has a trusted, young female protégée and confidant -- if you want to go all into Rael Averross's Lost Daughter Trauma.

Both Dooku: Jedi Lost (2019) and the Master and Apprentice (2019) novels which came out ahead of Andor's 2022 release date go out of their way to flesh out the character, place him in Dooku's inner circle, and detail points of connection like the artifacts and holocron study. In a meta way, I wondered why they were spending so much book time on a relatively minor character only tangentially related to characters who get screentime. (For example, new canon hasn't touched any of Qui-Gon's previous apprentices, and if the point was just to explore Dooku's other students, Komari and Galidraan would tie in with the Jango Fett storyline and the Mandalorians.) These choices aren't random or at the author's whim; in an interview, Cavan Scott of Dooku: Jedi Lost infamy mentions he was specifically told to stay away from Dooku and Rael's apprentice days in that book. Someone in the greater Star Wars content ecosystem was paying attention to this character. Why?

Why not?

I think the biggest argument that he's not Rael Averross is the physical appearance - Claudia Gray describes Rael as short and "tan"/dark skinned, Stellan Skarsgård is a a 6'3 Swede. Probably that should stop my argument right there, but unfortunately, it wouldn't be the first time Star Wars has retconned right over a fairly large detail like that, and frankly, has a problem doing that more often with nonwhite characters. (*making direct eye contact with Clone Wars's take on Sifo-Dyas, but even Quinlan Vos occasionally gets white washed*)

Ultimately, I don't think that Andor is the kind of show that will want to show you a Luke Skywalker cameo; in the same way, I have a hard time imagining that if this theory is correct, we'll get more than a nod and a wink confirmation. The show is all about little people coming together to fight the Empire.

But I think there's at least a decent chance that Luthen Rael is a familiar face, and if so, I can't see a better place for one of the disaster lineage to end up.

[inamindfarfaraway]

Thoughts on “Shroud of Darkness”:

Nice battle at the beginning. Kanan and Ezra are really improving their combat skills and teamwork.

We haven’t seen the Inquisitors for a while, but apparently they’ve been Force tracking them? Okay… this feels kinda like the writers just needed them to get to the Lothal Jedi temple, but I really liked the last episode there, so I can go with it.

“Sometimes it’s better not to know.” You can hear the sorrow in Hera’s voice in that line. She must resent that she can never fully understand or be a part of her love’s Force-related missions and troubles, never help him through them; only watch him risk his life and soul - especially with the implication Kanan’s struggled with the dark side before after losing his master and the Order, so she’s probably seen how badly it can affect Force sensitives. And now she has the inexperienced Ezra to worry about too.

Ahsoka episode! At least for a third! Yes! I will take any and all Ahsoka content!

Ahsoka reminiscing about the Anakin she knew, the genuinely wise and helpful brotherly mentor who wanted nothing but the best for everyone he loved, is just a little taste of the gutwrenching pain I know is coming. “What would’ve surprised people is how kind he was.” Absolutely. It seems everyone except the few who knew him best, himself included (Anakin probably thought introspection was a kind of Outer Rim food item), often forgot he was more than the flashy, invincible warrior the tabloids were obsessed with. His greatest quality was always his abundance of love, both as the strength of unwavering compassion and the flaw of possessiveness. His problem was that he never learned to apply it to himself, and overcompensated with hubris, but self-importance is not self-love. Well, that and Palpatine. Mostly his problem was Palpatine. I’m getting off topic. This scene is sad! Not only because Ahsoka is one of literally two people and thinks she’s the only one left in the galaxy to understand Anakin Skywalker’s true nature to any degree, but because now she knows what happened to all that kindness.

Ooh, new floor of the Lothal temple. I’m guessing that’s the height it originally was before it sunk, this door looks more like a main entrance.

I see the temple’s still doing the creepy self-closing door thing. Naturally.

Jedi Temple Guards! Always good to see more lore and depth to the Order. Like the last time Kanan was here, he addresses his fear of losing Ezra to the dark side. But then he was just admitting it. Now he’s actively fighting to prevent it happening. I love this protective Jedi dad master dad.

I’m sure there’s some symbolic significance in Kanan using his blue Jedi lightsaber and a red Sith one in his battle to defend Ezra, but I can’t be bothered to unpack it right now.

Master Yoda! It’s confirmed he’s doing a Force Zoom call from his swamp in Dagobah. Probably the highlight of his boring, miserable existence consumed by regret and extreme survivor’s guilt, unable to stand against the Empire lest the Jedi become one - or the very large number of ordinary Jedi he’s worth in terms of knowledge and experience, rather - step closer to extinction. Damn it. Now I’m sad about him as well. I can only feel sorry for so many characters at a time, Yoda. Take a number and get in line.

Ezra: So my master and I are really struggling to figure out how to reconcile our duty to preserve the Jedi’s philosophy of peace and empathy with our duty to our friends and allies in the Rebellion and those we aim to help with it, who require us to engage in warfare and make difficult sacrifices to protect them. Having led the whole Jedi Order with its thousands of years of wisdom and sprawling support network to fall back on, how can we win the Jedi way?

Yoda: Hmm… win the Clone Wars, we did not. Allow ourselves to be pawns of the dark side, we did. For a true Jedi to win in warfare, perhaps impossible it is.

Ezra: But you had to have been doing something right!

Yoda: (shakes head sadly) Fuck up big time, we did. Full of shit, the Order became.

At least he acknowledges what us fans already knew.

Oh no. Here it comes.

Ahsoka, no! Anakin, no! Why?!

Is it too late to rescind my earlier claim that I will take ‘any and all Ahsoka content’? I didn’t know it would hurt this much!

That was the Force acting on her own guilt, right? I feel if Vader actually communicated with her, he wouldn’t say that. It just didn’t feel right. But if it is Ahsoka’s own blame, that’s still awful.

[Adds this to the list of reasons Ahsoka needs good, long-term therapy, which reaches the floor.]

[Starts to leave and thinks better of it. Adds new reasons to Kanan and Ezra’s lists too.]

JEDI KNIGHT KANAN JEDI KNIGHT KANAN JEDI KNIGHT KANAN -

I’M SO PROUD OF HIM! What an honour to be knighted by the Force itself. I love that his chosen name after losing the Order was used in the ceremony.

The Grand Inquisitor was a Temple Guard? Very poetic, in a tragic way. From protecting and preserving the Jedi to destroying and erasing them.

Ahsoka and Yoda smiling at each other as she left was a small touch, but gently cathartic. They both still respect and care for each other, even knowing they won’t agree on some fundamental things. We need more people who can do that.

We’re gonna need to have a big fight between Vader and Ahsoka soon, aren’t we? My dad is resolute in his prediction Ahsoka will eventually die at her old master’s hand. (He hasn’t seen The Mandolorian, I have.)

Malachor is a place? Is it a place important to the Jedi? Or the Sith? Very strong in the Force either way, I’ll bet. Ahsoka’s tone doesn’t bode well. Not like, “Oh, yeah, Malachor! I’ve always wanted to go there! A Padawan I knew went there on a field trip once without me, lucky bastard.”

[mightydragoon]

Luke and Leia vs the Galaxy

@silvereddaye 

.Our favourite Space Twins against the Empire with varying degrees of success. 

1. Legacy ---myrlendi (thehistorygeek)

Three months after the Battle of Endor, Luke Skywalker goes in search of a rumoured Jedi temple in a secluded part of the Mid Rim. He finds within the temple nothing but a strange artifact, which unexpectedly brings him much closer to the Jedi of old than he ever thought he would be.

When Luke fails to return from his mission, Leia goes after him, retracing his steps to the ancient temple — and to the past, to the time of the Clone Wars and the waning years of the Old Republic. Under suspicion by the Jedi Order, the twins struggle to find a way back to their own time while trying to keep their knowledge of the future from affecting the past.

This, however, turns out to not be as simple as it seems.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15221810/chapters/35304947

2.  Skywalker Family Values- Ariel_Sojourner

Camp Chippewa is proud to be the Empire’s foremost camp resort for privileged young adults. Located on the picturesque forest moon of Endor, your child will have the opportunity to participate in wholesome outdoor activities and socialize appropriately with their peers. We invite your offspring to join us for the experience of a lifetime and a bright future in service of the greater glory of the Empire.

On opposite sides of the galaxy, on opposite sides of a civil war, Darth Vader and Padme Amidala unwittingly send Luke and Leia to the same camp during school break. Chaos naturally ensues.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14258124/chapters/32883750

3. Back To The Future - PinkEasterEggs

Teenage Princess Leia, heir to Alderaan's throne and her twin, Luke Vader, heir to the Imperial throne, get thrown back in time with the chance to save their parents before it's too late. With the Force finally on their side, they decide to have a little fun whilst they try and save their father's soul.

What could go wrong?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22217674/chapters/53048092

(Part of the Back To The Future series. https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648657) 

4. No Time Like The Present - PinkEasterEggs

In a Galaxy where Princess Leia Organa and Imperial Prince Luke Vader didn't Time Travel to save their father's soul, a deadly discovery by their biggest enemy throws their entire lives upside down. Yet again.

Now on the run from the Empire, the Skywalker Twins find it their mission to bring peace back to the Galaxy once more. And with Darth Vader on their trail, that mission is far more complicated than they originally believed.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24754825/chapters/59851300

(Part of the Back To The Future series. https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648657)

5. Great as the Sea-- Valkirin

Rescuing the last of Alderaan's survivors was an important duty, not an obsession, and Leia did not need to take a break. She did not have time to think about Darth Vader, the Force, or Luke Skywalker. It’s just her luck that the Force sends her with Luke Skywalker to a time where Darth Vader is about to rise.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11384253/chapters/25491066

6. turn my sorrow into treasured gold - cosmicocean:

“It might be better for you to die,” Obi-Wan muses as she holds her children in her arms. Padmé looks up at him and arches an eyebrow.

“I didn’t mean literally,” he clarifies.

“I know what you meant. I’m thinking about it.”

Padmé survives childbirth, dies as far as the rest of the galaxy is concerned, takes her children with Obi-Wan, and runs.

Pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7435467

7. The Assassin's Blade - LadyVader23

Two years after Order 66, Padme is both an assassin for the Rebellion and a mother of twins. She will stop at nothing to bring democracy back to the Galaxy, even if it means killing Imperials to do it. But news of suspicious assassinations reaches Sidious, who dispatches Vader to hunt down this mysterious assassin. What Vader discovers will change the fate of the Galaxy.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20432867/chapters/48475367

8. anything is possible the second time around cloverblob

Leia Organa is sure that she died. She laid herself down, ready to become one with the Force. Except that she isn't dead--she hasn't even been born. So how did she end up on Tatooine? And why would fate bring her right here, right now?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21941050/chapters/52364929

9.  Influence of Time Cateyes1401 and  SkylaDoragon

A freak accident sends Luke, Leia, and Vader splitting off to different points of the galaxy, over twenty years in the past. While Vader is careful to correct any errors his sudden appearance may cause in the timeline, Luke and Leia are not so cautious.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20333248/chapters/48211621

10.  Laying Down the Sand - Knitzkampf

An AU set at the time of ESB. Han Solo abandons Luke, Leia and Chewie to settle some unfinished business and sparks a series of events that challenges each one's destiny and the fate of the galaxy. An epic tale of friendship, love, family and lightsabers.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9921947/chapters/22232960

11.  Binary Sunsets, Binary Siblings - Coffeesforcatchers

The projection was as blue as the Tatooinian sky, making it hard for Luke to discern its features. But as the audio began to play, Luke felt his heart seize in his chest.

"Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope."

Luke stared at the droid, his mouth open. "That's my sister!"

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14111466/chapters/32514372

12.  Deja Vu - oncomingstorm42

Time travel AU fix-it wherein Luke and Leia are sent back in time to halfway through The Phantom Menace. They proceed to unscrew the timeline and save their parents while also kicking ass.

(note* Private story. To read you must have an AO3 account) 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10408782/chapters/22984893

13. Heralding Home -planningconquest

Family can be what we make of it. It can be lost and found and comes together in strange and amazing ways.

(Note* Modern Au but still same principal applies) 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17130767/chapters/40288283

14.  Like Fire in Our Bones --- acuteneurosis

With all of the most important things in the galaxy literally exploding around her, Leia is given the chance to go back and help keep a promise she never personally made.

But then, for Skywalkers, saving the galaxy was always a family matter.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19735813/chapters/46710241

15.  I am as Strong as the Seas are Stormy (And as Proud as an Eagle's Scream)- RhiannonOfTheRoses

Leia Skywalker is only hours old when the Empire rises.

Leia Organa is twenty-three when it finally falls.

OR: The one in which Leia Organa is explored, and her life is uncovered.

16.  Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns chancecraz

I went to sleep on the worst day of my life and woke to find myself in the past on the second worst day of my life. As experiences go, I don’t recommend it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8543680/chapters/19586203

(Part of the Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns series https://archiveofourown.org/series/825216)

17.  Runaway SilverDaye

Imperial Prince Luke runs away from home to escape his overprotective father Emperor Vader. Jumping from planet to planet he finds himself creditless on Tatooine. While working for more money to leave the planet, Luke meets an old man named Ben Kenobi. But Luke knows he can't stay in one place for long for surely his father is hunting him down.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14630196/chapters/33813027

18.  take the spade from my hands (and fill in the holes you've made) A_Different_Type_of_Flower

With her dying father's last request, eighteen-year-old Leia Organa sets out for the Outer Rim to find an exiled Jedi master and a brother she knew nothing about.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9219026/chapters/20908517

19.  Sparks SpellCleaver

Vader had every intention of ignoring that petty—if notorious—burglar on Coruscant, until evidence suggested that this "Angel" had Rebel ties.

Meanwhile, Luke never expected his father to actively hunt him down, and he doesn't like it.

20.  the price of forgetting - surabayuh

 Vader always thought that epiphany would come in waves; in the middle of meditation, perhaps, or a dream while he was resting, giving him unimaginable glee and satisfaction at its revelation.

He’d never thought epiphany would sledgehammer him here, at cell room number 2187, in the middle of an interrogation session, with an unconscious Alderaanian Princess laying on the floor.

(Part of the  the bang the war-drums series) 

(Note* Read the rest of this series seriously its so good) 

21.  heirs of the desert -- surabayuh

There was something about her, something familiar beyond the hairstyle or the attire; It was like a hole in his chest mended back by her presence. They walked closer to one another, slowly, slowly—like a planet realigning to their axis.

Dreams of a different life, a different reality, haunting him for as long as he could remember. Dreams of lush greeneries, of clear blue waters, of a high castle, of a brunette with bright brown eyes crinkling with laughter.

Leia, her name was Leia and he felt like he had known her his whole life, as if he'd known her as old as he had known time.

Around them, the Force sang.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22226950/chapters/53070706

(Part of the  the bang the war-drums series)

22. taste the regret (it's bittersweet.) - surabayuh

Han Solo didn't want much, really; he only agreed to pilot his way away from the grips of Jabba the Hutt, and maybe have a little adventure along the way. That was why he said yes to that old man's offer, back in Tatooine, why he came back to aid the Rebellion, back in Yavin.

But then again, who knew that somewhere down the line, he would have to be the middle-man in a galactic family drama that could determine the very fate of the universe?

Well; certainly not him.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22452316/chapters/53646223

(Part of the  the bang the war-drums series)

23. Endings and Beginnings, and Everything in Between - ITookTheOneLessTravelled

Dad might be mad at them, but Leia doesn't regret it. Luke and Leia Skywalker might be only fifteen, but they'd never have left their Dad in an Imperial prison cell to rot.

OR: Anakin raises the twins. Everything changes, but also nothing does.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6757639

24.  No Heroes on the High Seas - SpellCleaver

When Luke's aunt and uncle are executed by order of the Emperor's right hand, Lord Vader, he flees his home to search for his sister and the mother he never knew. But then Obi-Wan Kenobi stows away aboard the same ship, Vader gives chase, and Luke is dragged into a conflict that his family are at the very heart of.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17092340/chapters/40194893

25.  Ad Utrumque Paratus - obeyingthemuse

It's hard to bring balance to the Force when the only method you've seen is your black-cloaked psychic cyborg sorcerer dad with a severe breathing problem throwing an old man down the Death Star reactor shaft. As much as Luke would like to see the not-yet-Emperor dead, he doesn't want to be arrested by his unusually attractive(?) war-hero dad and spend the rest of his indeterminate time in the past dropping Ewok beats in a jail cell. Also Leia would probably kill him. But not before breaking him out of jail.

So when the twins wake up on Tatooine decades in the past, they play it safe. They take over a planet, reconnect with their adoptive and real parents without weirding them out (too much), and accidentally cause the Chancellor perpetual near-death experiences.

Nailed it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7168628/chapters/16273712

Tags 

Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker 

[captainmazzic]

The Ahsoka Novel Review, or, Goddamnit Star Wars, Part CXXVIII

Under a cut because this thing is long as fuuuuuck

...Okay. That was... Interesting.

I’m just going to ignore the first part where the author pretends to make Ahsoka have some sort of compassion-sympathy for Maul while taunting him and throwing his disability in his face at the same time. Was there even any point to having this little exchange? It’s not mentioned later, Maul has no bearing at all on this plot, and nothing Ahsoka does here is relevant even as a learning experience for later. It’s just... there. Token inclusion to draw in the Maul fans, I guess? Or.. alienate them yet again, I don’t even know.

This is how it starts. *laughing*. It gets so much worse. And... has a few moments where it shines, I admit. Anyway. Let’s get this party started. 

So pretty much we follow Ahsoka around for a few years while she mopes about not being an Official Jedi™ and develops a major martyr obsession. Coming from Ahsoka’s mouth, it just seems so out of place, incongruent, and it gets old real fast. She regrets leaving the Jedi Order before Order 66 happens, she wishes she hadn’t survived while the rest of the Jedi died, she wonders why she lived when she didn’t “deserve” to because she “deserted” the Jedi, etc. etc. ETC. I am so sick of Heroic Characters™ with survivors’ complexes that don’t even fit their fucking character. We need another one of those like we need another vampire bemoaning immortality as a curse, or a burning stick to the eye. I’d rather take the burning stick. Ugh.

Anyway. When Ahsoka isn’t being that particular brand of OOC, she’s being a mouthpiece for... something. Someone. I’m honestly not sure who. Or why. But she says stuff that makes no sense for someone like Ahsoka to say, and you get the impression that she says it just so that the author can have these things out in the open. That whole making the crystal bleed? We won’t get started on that just yet. But yeah. What. The. Fuck. And she says stuff about Barriss being.. a... bully? Did I fucking read that right? Like I mean she says some things about Barriss that are accurate (it was cruel for her to try and let Ahsoka take the fall for the temple bombing, she didn’t trust people, and she was afraid of the war), but I’m not sure where she was ever a bully? Oh wait I guess that’s just the book being badly written. 

And oh my god. Let me just. Excerpt a few… unfortunate word choices:  

“The mechanisms put in place during the Clone Wars had been twisted for the Empire's use, and every day the Emperor’s hold grew tighter. She almost admired Palpatine for his ability to pull off a long-term plan – except for his being evil and all."

About the Grand Inquisitor:

“His agents must follow his every order as though the Emperor himself had given it. That sort of power made him feel very strong.”

Also about the Grand Inque:

“As he stalked through the corridor, his agents scattered out of his way. They were all afraid of him, which he liked rather a lot.”

And my personal favourite cringe-worthy writing:

“Dark crystals were made, too, but not in that holy place. They were plundered from their rightful bearers and corrupted by the hands that stole them. Even rock could be changed by the power of the Force, bleeding alterations until their color was the deepest red. The balance was finely staged between the two, light and dark, and it took very little to upset it.”

...What in the flying freebasing FUCK does “bleeding alterations” even fucking MEAN? What balance? Why is it staged? Why, if there is supposed to be a “balance” in the Force inside these bits of mineral, are they supposedly inherently “light”? Why are the Jedi their only “rightful bearers” (I mean, other than the Jedi arbitrarily laying sovereign claim to anything Force-related they set eyes on, whether meant for them or not)?

Oh, well let’s see here. Ahsoka is here to help.

"I've never seen white ones before," Bail mused.

"They used to be red," Ahsoka said. "When the creature had them, they were red. But I heard them before I ever saw him on Raada, and knew that they were meant for me."

"You changed their nature?" he asked.

"I restored them," Ahsoka replied. "I freed them. The red crystals were corrupted by the dark side when those who wielded them bent them to their will. They call it making the crystal bleed. That's why the blade is red."

Okay so basically Ahsoka met an Inquisitor (whom she, persistently, ever so kindly calls a “creature”, more on that in a minute), killed him, stole and destroyed his lightsabers, then ripped the crystals out of them and put them in her own shiny new lightsaber hilts she just made. They apparently faded from bright red to colourless. (Which, honestly, to me, in my ever so humble opinion, interprets as “I just killed everything unique and vibrant about these crystals and drained them of all individuality, just like the Jedi do to people when they ‘free’ them :D :D :D”. But I mean. That’s just me.) This crystal bleeding is fucking Jedi folklore superstition. It’s stupid. It’s even stupider than the old “synthetic crystals are unnatural so of COURSE the Sith use them, m’kay” canon.

I’m just. So annoyed. So very annoyed.

So anyway. Ahsoka killed an Inquisitor, the Sixth Brother. She and a little girl sense him as a shadow at first - “The shadow was almost certainly one of the dark side's creatures. Ahsoka had no idea what sort of thing it might be, but whatever it was...” And that’s that. He’s “the creature” for the rest of the time he’s referred to. Seems like she hung around Kenobi way too fucking much, his style of Jedi seems to have rubbed off on her. Sigh.

But then she protests.

"I'm not really a Jedi, you know," she said. "I left the Temple, turned away from the Jedi path."

"If you're not a Jedi, then what are you, Ahsoka Tano?" Bail asked. "Because to be honest, you still sound and act like a Jedi to me."

OF COURSE SHE DOES. SHE IS A GODDAMN JEDI. A ~Grey Jedi~ is still a fucking JEDI OH EM FUCKING GEE. They’re Jedi Lite. Half the calories, most of the judgment, twice the taste, all the guilt! Goddamnit Star Wars. You’re not fooling anyone. Stop trying.

Moving on.

So then we have the Unresolved Sexual Tension between Ahsoka and Kaeden. Which largely means… Unrequited Feels on Kaeden’s part and… nothing else.

"Ahsoka!" Kaeden ran toward her, but stopped short of throwing her good arm around Ahsoka's shoulder. She knew that lightsabers were not to be trifled with. She could almost feel the power pouring out of Ahsoka anyway. It was amazing. "I could kiss you."

Ahsoka stopped in her tracks. The look she shot Kaeden was mildly confused.

"Not now, I mean," Kaeden said. She wanted to laugh for the first time in weeks but thought that might just be the hysteria setting in. "My timing is terrible and you have all those Jedi hang-ups. I just wanted you to know in case we die."

"Oh," said Ahsoka. "Well, thanks."

….. Oh. Well, thanks.

*beats head against wall* WOULD IT HAVE KILLED YOU, STAR WARS, TO HAVE GIVEN US JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE. I mean, I’m all about canonical asexual and/or aromantic Ahsoka, that would have been fucking rad, but they’ve already given us the fiasco that was goddamn LUX BONTERI, so The Powers That Be already canonically ruined that for me. Bi or Pan or Lesbian Ahsoka would have been really awesome too. Just… anything but Clueless Insensitive Straight Ahsoka for canon, please. PLEASE. We have enough of those characters already. Ahsoka doesn’t need to be one of them. Just my opinion though. Of course. *sigh*

...And then we have a brief, very out-of-place flashback from Anakin’s POV, that actually has zERO to do with anYTHINg, but it’s heartbreaking nonetheless because it’s just before Ahsoka is introduced and Anakin is still thinking that Ahsoka is going to be Kenobi’s apprentice.

"Anakin wasn't entirely sure what his place next to Obi-Wan would look like once his friend had a new student. Jedi weren't as married to the concept of two as the Sith were, but most of them acted singly or in pairs. It was one of the reasons Anakin had never put in for a Padawan of his own. He didn't want it to look like he was pushing Obi-Wan aside. Now, Obi-Wan had gone and done it first, and Anakin still wasn't sure how he felt about it."

He didn’t want Kenobi to feel sidelined. I’m. Just. Goddamnit Star Wars don’t give me Obikin feels when we already know Kenobi turns into the most asinine, horrible person in all the Jedi next to, maybe, Yoda.

Anyway. Let’s move on again.

Oh yeah. So there’s Kolvin. He’s a Rodian.

….. Now, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it very often, but one of the things I fixate on in Star Wars is the frequency of Rodian deaths. Almost all of the named (and a bunch of the unnamed) Rodians we meet end up getting killed. A good majority of them on-screen or in-story. Rodians are one of my favourite species in the entirety of Star Wars and it really upsets me that the greater majority of the ones we meet get axed quickly after we’re first introduced to them. And Kolvin’s no exception. We are pretty much introduced to him solely for the sake of watching him die, graphically, a chapter or two later. I’m just… furious beyond being capable of physically showing it. It’s exhausting.

And I think my final criticism of the book is the entire story behind the Empire even being on Raada in the first place. It’s such a fabricated, “Oh I guess we need a reason to fuck up Ahsoka’s life again via the Empire” kind of plot. It makes LITERALLY ZERO LOGICAL SENSE, even if I stretch real hard and invoke believing at least six impossible things before breakfast. There is NO reason why these genetically engineered plants would be useful. The Empire would not go through all this trouble to search for productive agricultural worlds only to use them once (ONCE??) and then give it up as a barren wasteland after first use. That is so unproductive, unprofitable, and inefficient. Why would they do that, and then leave the farmers to try and scrape by after that? Such a waste of resources. We already have PLENTY of examples of what the Empire does with agricultural worlds. Ones that MAKE SENSE. They come in, set up their infrastructure, heavily regulate work schedules, and implement their own ideas about what needs to be grown. And guess what? It’s stuff that they can plant indefinitely, because that keeps the population working under tight, regulated control. It keeps them in a routine that is hard to break. It keeps them busy, it keeps them tired, it keeps them distracted. It maintains a level of familiarity that’s just close enough to normalcy that they will be hesitant to do anything to break it. These are useful things to the Empire. VITAL things.

Instead we get a moustache-twirling saturday morning cartoon where the Empire sweeps in, destroys everything, cackles maniacally, knocks over your sandcastle, and kicks the puppy on the way out. Why is it so fucking hard for these hired writers to come up with a good villainous reason for the villains to be villainous? Honestly they have material RIGHT THERE. USE IT. For fuck’s sake.

Okay but with all this criticism there were a couple highlights.

There was a Black Sun agent. They didn’t last too terribly long as a part of the story, but they’re referred to only with they/them pronouns for the entire time they’re around, and that. Pleased me. Greatly. And there wasn’t even some concentrated effort to “find out their gender” or idle speculation or some other stupid bullshit. It was very much a non-issue, and that also pleased me. Good job. Gold star.

And despite the fact that Ahsoka had a lot of damning things to say about Barriss, she had this to say as well:

“She had a point about the Republic and the Jedi. There was something wrong with them, and we were too locked into our traditions to see what it was… If we'd listened to her – really listened – we might have been able to stop Palpatine before he took power."

In the text, that statement is surrounded with too many disclaimers and defensive finger-pointing for me to be entirely happy with it, but it’s something, and I’m glad Ahsoka was the one the writers allowed to say it.

I really liked it when we had some glimpses of Ahsoka’s actual questioning nature whenever the story got in her head. It didn’t happen very often at all, most of the time she’s just developing her martyr fixation or bemoaning her existence, but every now and again we get a tiny peek of the Ahsoka that captured my heart towards the end of The Clone Wars, walking away from the Jedi temple and saying that she needed to figure things out on her own, without the Jedi, without Anakin, without the crutches and restrictions that the Order held her down with. If only we’d gotten more of that Ahsoka throughout the book, it could have made the story shine.

[robynqueenofstuff]

Reviews Of Stuff. Special Second Review: Star Wars: The Force Awakens

                      Tagline:The Force Is Calling To You.Just Let It In

Date Of Release: 18th December 2015                Directed by J.J. Abrams

Distributed by Walt Disney Pictures       Based on Characters by George Lucas

Yes. Oh Yes. I am going to review 2015's highest-grossing film and your slightly early Christmas present from said year, Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Back in 2012 when Disney announced that not only had they bought Lucasfilm from George Lucas but also that they were planning at least 3 new Star Wars films: Shit hit social media. As time went on it was announced that JJ Abrams would be the director of the first in what would be three new Star Wars movies and that Mark Hamill [Luke Skywalker]  Harrison Ford [Han Solo] and Carrie Fisher [Leia Organa] had signed on to reprise their roles in the next film. As time went by with news of casting calls that i was not old enough to audition for at the time, JJ Abrams working with a machete very close to his neck and goosebumps from the very first teaser trailer, The film finally premiered on December 14th, 2015, before being released worldwide four days later. The film now currently rates a 92% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and is currently the third highest-grossing film of all time, The highest grossing film of 2015, The highest grossing film in the Star Wars Franchise, The highest-grossing film released by Walt Disney Studios, The highest-grossing film in North America, finally dethroning Avatar and the third highest-grossing film of all time with . The film was also nominated for 99 awards including 5 Academy awards and won 33 of said nominations.

I am a complete Star Wars geek and so i was really excited for this movie. I got tickets for a showing on the 19th, I headed to the cinema in Carlisle, I got a Star Wars popcorn bucket, [The only time to buy the overpriced cinema popcorn is when there are themed popcorn buckets] I had my usual toilet break before the trailers. I watched the movie. I...really enjoyed it. Really. Top 3 Star Wars movies easily. But a lot of angry Youtube commenters who can't spell correctly disagree with me so i decided i'd postpone my Harry Potter reviews and impulsively do a Star Wars review. Starting with The Force Awakens. Odd one to start with i know but i'm going to do all of them eventually. Including the next ones when they eventually come out.

Ok so the film opens with the iconic crawl every Star Wars film has [You hear that Rogue One? EVERY STAR WARS FILM HAS A CRAWL] and we learn immediately that Luke has vanished rather inconveniently as an Imperial Remnant named The First Order has risen from the Empire's ashes and seeks to destroy the New Republic formed after the Rebellion's victory. His twin sister Leia Organa now leads the Resistance against the First Order and has sent her best pilot Poe Dameron, played by Oscar Isaac to retrieve what appears to be a map leading to her missing brother. He retrieves the map to Luke from a retired adventurer by the name of Lor San Tekka, played by Max Von Sydow 

but then The First Order arrives, Kills Tekka and a whole bunch of innocent settlers [Maybe Alderaan survivors?...] and captures Poe but not before he gives the map to BB-8 who then escapes and meets Rey, played by Daisy Ridley Finn played by John Boyega is a stormtrooper who finds that he doesn't want to kill innocents for the First Order and ultimately helps Poe Dameron escape but they crash on Jakku and Dameron is seemingly killed [OH NO! i-i really believe he's dead!] and Finn ends up bumping into Rey and BB-8 and they ultimately escape Jakku on the Milennium Falcon [Don't fucking call it garbage] and begin the journey to deliver the map to the Resistance, running into a certain scoundrel and his hairy companion along the way....

That's all i'm going to say on the plot even though most people probably already know it at this point, i'm not going to mention certain spoilers just in case there is anyone who doesn't. The plot of the story overall is decent though there is a couple of huge similarities to another Star Wars film but we'll get to that in a moment because other than that and a couple of plot-holes this story is good. It has likable leads, a good sense of humor, a genuine feel of mystery concerning the origins of a certain character and it does genuinely feel like a Star Wars film. It also has that awesome reason to re-watch movies....To catch all the small details in the background. Yeah it's a great reason to watch all the Star Wars movies and the Harry Potter movies actually. Things like a character's expression, a cameo in the background or a stormtrooper hitting his head on the doorway.

The characters are for the most part great and the ones that aren't are...mainly underused.

The Orig Trig Gang [Minus Lando] are back and it is great to see them again. Han Solo, Leia Organa, Chewbacca, C-3PO and R2-D2. Oh and Luke Skywalker! How could i forget Luke! The role he played! Such a useful character! And so cool! and that scene at the end was amazing! You know the one i mean! Luke was a badass in this film! His sister Leia played by the now late Carrie Fisher returns but not as a Princess but as a General. Well i guess there's not much point calling yourself Princess when there's nothing to be Princess of so this makes sense. Her character is a bit more broken in this, you get the feeling of someone who has seen and experienced far too much for one lifetime, Both this movie's later reveals and Star Wars Bloodline kind of explain why but, she also shows she's the same snarky old Leia we all know and love. Chewbacca, C-3PO and R2-D2 are still as lovely as ever and Han Solo.....Jesus it is good to have the old scoundrel back. He's old, grouchy and probably harboring back problems, but he's still got that crook side to him plus that line where he says The stories about the Force along with the Dark Side and the Jedi are all true?  That shows how far he's come from believing it to be just be a 'hokey religion' I'm sure his character will be pivotal in the rest of this new trilogy....right?

Rey looks to be the big mystery of the series at least concerning parentage plot points. Theories on who her parents are will be the first things you see if you type her name in on the Internet, From theories she is the daughter of Luke, [Which would be too obvious in my opinion] the daughter of Obi-Wan [Which despite being really popular i personally disagree with] and the reincarnation of Anakin Skywalker. [Yes this is a theory...the things people think of nowadays] My personal theory is that maybe her parents were Dark-Side users or Jedi assisting Luke or maybe not actually important, one of those three. Her character is interesting as she initially comes across as the average 'tough girl who don't need no man' type but as the story progresses and establishes her as having no choice but to adopt this persona in order to be able to survive in the environment she resides in but we also see signs of vulnerability in her when we learn she's hanging on to hope of something that is most likely never going to happen not to mention her reaction to possibly being part of something much greater indicates she is not as strong as she might appear and there's a part towards the end that makes her appear a little Dark-Side-ish to me....Which would be an interesting twist actually.

Finn as we worked out from the trailers is a former stormtrooper who runs away from the First Order, only he doesn't want to stop running. He just wants to get as far away from this conflict as humanly possible only to find himself back in the conflict almost immediately afterwards. Granted it's his choice every time, Seriously, the guy escapes the First Order and says he just wants to run away but one of the first things he does is try to run to someone's aid when they are being attacked. Now, granted Rey was able to get out of the situation easily but it does show a lot about his character and he definitely comes across as someone who's desire to help ultimately outweighs his desire to run and be afraid of it all. Now his connection to the Stormtroopers is interesting as we've never had a main character that is a Stormtrooper before, This could lead to some interesting plot points in the next two films maybe he'll face off against Captain Phasma or an old stormtrooper comrade i don't know but it's going to be helluva lot of fun finding out.

The main villain, Kylo Ren is a Vader wannabe. I'm not just saying that because he's the replacement for Vader because the guy literally wants to be Vader the movie even says so! There's a reason in particular as to why he's so obsessed with Vader as well as a connection to the original heroes but for those who don't know it yet i won't give it away. I think he's being sort of set up to be a tragic villain, As you watch the film you get the feeling that he knows he's never going to be like Vader, He tried to look cool with his special lightsaber and his mask made to mimic Vader but it never really sinks in that way he just seems more angry and desperate than Vader and while i won't give anything away this longing ultimately drives him to do...something.

Poe Dameron....Am i allowed to marry a fictional character? This character has charm, humor, manners, dashing good looks, morality and he's the owner of BB-8! How much more attractive is this guy! And i love just how he and Finn have an instant connection, Just love how quickly they become friends. I just want more Poe in the next flick Rian Johnson! OK?! GIVE US MORE POE DAMERON !! Also i want my own BB-8. Now. I'm practically the only one who didn't get one for Christmas ....

Then there's the leader of the Stormtroopers, Captain Phasma played by Gwendoline Christie....Why was she even there? I mean her armor is cool and she and Finn could have interesting conflict but...why do we have to wait?

General Hux played by Domhall Gleeson [Cause he's in everything nowadays] does come across as the new trilogy's Tarkin but he's decent on his own, apparently he's the son of a General of the original Empire so actually grew up believing the Empire is the good side. And the rivalry between him and Kylo is kind of cute in the way you know it's pathetic.

Maz Kanata was an ok character despite that her role was basically exposition and it's nice to meet other friends of Han and Chewie [Or in Chewie's case maybe more :)] But why does she have to reveal important plot points if she's only in a small portion of the film.

Snoke i won't say much about except he appears to be the true villain of this new trilogy and is the master of Kylo Ren. Who he is?, Why is he doing this? and how did he convince Kylo to be his apprentice? We'll find out. In a year. Hopefully. [For the love of The Force don't make us wait until IX...]

Highlights of the film include the special effects which granted we knew would be fantastic,[Especially compared to certain OTHER films that came out that year-FANT4STIC!] but they really do work and make it feel new while still retaining the old feel of Star Wars. The score is lovely, composed by John Williams yet again but not as good as other Star Wars scores, but still really impressive though especially Rey's Theme. [Btw am i the only one who noticed that March Of The Resistance is basically just The Imperial March for the Resistance?] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65As1V0vQDM

As i’ve stated before the characters are great and there are some really great actors cast plus a couple of cool cameos too such as Daniel Craig and Ewan McGregor. [the latter is an uncredited voice cameo but he’s in there] The fight sequences are well-done and choreographed well, Not overdone like the prequels or under-done? like the originals, They don’t just tap their lightsabers at each other or pause during battle to twirl their lightsabers around for a moment. It’s raw, It’s fierce, It feels like the characters are actually in a fight for their life rather than a flashy duel that we know the ending to. There’s also a really great atmosphere to the movie, You get that feeling right from the teasers with that giant shot in the desert with the crashed Star Destroyer and that feeling holds within the movie, There’s a really great scene where we just get a good look at Rey’s life on Jakku, Just a day of her working and trading what she does for a small portion of food, There’s dialogue in the scene but Rey herself doesn’t say anything, she just quietly gets on with it but it sort of works in a way. And that flashback scene is mind-boggling, I won’t say what happens because that would be a spoiler but it just makes me want to shake Rey and the Knights of Ren and scream ‘WHAT ARE YOU????!!!!!.

The movie of course does have its flaws and those mainly concern the story. A lot of people say it is too derivative of A New Hope and i would be lying if i didn't say i couldn’t see that however, i feel there not as numerous as other people make it out to be. There are a few obvious ones such as the hero on a desert planet, the droid with a map, the cantina and most obviously Starkiler Base. [Nice nod to The Force Unleashed though] Personally while noticeable similarities, they are not really as consistent throughout the movie as some people say it is. Plus the hero from the desert planet storyline....it’s not just from A New Hope, I know people don’t like to remember The Phantom Menace but it still counts!. Also there’s a couple of plotholes in the movie that they really just kind of skim over when brought up [TELL US HOW YOU FOUND THE LIGHTSABER YOU-!] and there were characters that needed to be fleshed out more [cough PHASMA! cough] but other than that.i don’t think there are any other major problems...

So i really enjoy this film. In the Top 3 of the Star Wars films easily. It has Good Direction, Fantastic Visual Effects, Lovely Music, Great new characters, Good Humor, Well-written dialogue, [Take notes Lucas!] a Decent Story and a Wonderful atmosphere. And a new era in the Star Wars universe has just begun,

Final Verdict: 9 out of 10. Buy on Blu-Ray.

Critic’s Note: Should i do a spoiler review of The Force Awakens? Should i put the other Star Wars Films and Clone Wars episodes on my list? let me know.