#literally nothing better than when readers point out specific lines/parts they loved i eat that shit up i love to hear it sooo much

[fruityumbrella]

ao3 comments that make you explode into five million rainbow sunbursts foreverrrrr

[scarlettriot]

Stood Up

Pairing: Sero/F!Reader

Summary: When you find your dating making out with someone else at a Halloween party, Hanta swoops in and reclaims your evening, rekindling an old flame.

Contains: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Demisexual Reader, Astronomy/Greek Lore Nerd Sero, Old flame

Warnings: 18+ Below the cut, Minors DNI! Swearing, Demi Problems, Praise/Smidge of Degradation, Name-calling (slut & whore), Pet names (Love, good girl, pretty girl), Car Sex, F Masturbation, Oral M Receiving (Road Head) I think that's everything

A/N: This took me much longer than I expected. It's also my first time writing Sero. Given the season, I decided to add a touch of Halloween and costumes to this one.

If you'd like to read other's in the Stood Up series, here are the links:

Stood Up - Bakugo - WC 3,502

Stood Up - Kirishima - WC 3,612

Stood Up - Kaminari - WC 2,461

Word Count Starting Below: 3,494

Denki Kaminari's annual Halloween bash was in full swing by the time Hanta had arrived. He'd come straight from patrol, wrapping himself up in his own tape making a half assed mummy costume for himself. Not like anyone would notice with the flashing colored lights, loud music, and abundance of liquor.

However, Hanta didn't even make it up to the double glass front doors of Denki's home. Not before doing a double take at the very familiar pirate that ran by him.

"Y/N?" You stopped allowing him the chance to catch up to you, "Holy shit, it is you, when the hell did you get back?"

Three years you'd been gone, working in America. Time differences and busy schedules made it so the two of you barely kept in touch. It was a shame, Hanta thought, considering how close the two of you used to be.

"I- uh- just a few weeks now. I heard you were helping out with the disaster relief after that storm."

It had to be his eyes playing tricks on him, the funny colors of the dancing lights were what made your cheeks look wet, right? Those couldn't have been tears.

"I was, yeah, but I got back yesterday. I didn't know-"

"Get the hell outta here!" His head snapped back towards the front of the house, just in time to see Eijiro, dressed in an impressive werewolf costume, literally throw someone out of the party. The guy drunkenly stumbled off, Eijiro walking over towards where Hanta was standing with you. "Y/N, you good?"

You nodded while Hanta tried to piece together what'd happened. "Sorry, it took me a second to find the bastard. Do ya wanna come back in? I'll make sure he leaves."

"No, Eijiro, thanks though. I'm just gonna head home."

The wolfman frowned but understood. "We'll have a smaller party for ya! Just the gang as a welcome home! You know Denki will look for any excuse to throw a party." He turned his gaze on Hanta. "A mummy, really?"

"You've been a damn werewolf for the last two years! You don't get to give me crap."

Eijiro poked the fuzzy pointed red ears carefully set into his spiky hair. "Mina and I worked real hard on this costume... seemed like a waste to only wear it once."

"We both know you haven't just worn those once, big man."

That got a chuckle out of you while all Eijiro could do was shrug and try to hide a shit-eating grin.

He asked you again if you'd like to stay and once more you said you were going to just head home. It was when you specifically said you were going to be walking home that Hanta spoke up offering to drive you back to your home since it was Halloween and people were creeps.

You were a damn pro hero but he still didn't feel right about just letting you walk home alone.

When you agreed he told Eijiro he'd be back soon and walked over with you to his car.

>>><<<

A part of you missed the old station wagon Hanta used to drive, not that this BMW he now drove wasn't absolutely amazing, you just sort of missed the comfort of the old car.

He waited until he'd reached the end of Denki's long, winding driveway to finally speak. "So, you wanna tell me what happened back there, or am I just supposed to pretend like Kiri didn't kick someone out on your behalf?"

"You could probably just ask Kiri and he'd tell you."

"I could, but, I'd like to hear it from you."

You knew you could tell him, there was nothing you couldn't tell Hanta. There was once a time when the man knew every single detail about your life. Sure, time and distance had put a strain on that relationship but you were back now. There was no reason why you couldn't at least start rebuilding what you and Hanta once had.

"Y/N, if you don't wanna say anything-"

"I was just casually seeing this guy. You know me and dating, how we don't always work out." You said abruptly and he quit talking, "And so, we weren't like official but we said we'd go to this party together. Well, I got here and went looking for him and found him making out with one of Hawks' sidekicks. I got a little upset when he noticed me and, well, he just said he found someone better."

Hanta actually stopped the car, pulled off to the side of the road, threw it in park, and looked right at you because he knew what found someone better meant exactly. You'd used those words in high school when that guy from Shiketsu that you'd been seeing got pissed off that you wouldn't put out and ended it with you. You went to his dorm crying because he 'found someone better', is what you told him. It took him a few hours to get the truth out of you.

You'd always been the kind of person to love with your entire heart but sexually, you'd confessed that you felt different from all the other kids your age back then. Not having the same urges and desires that everyone else seemed stricken with.

"Hanta, it's fine, really. Kiri heard the whole thing and, well, you saw what happened."

"Doesn't make it right! So, you went on a couple dates with a guy, that doesn't mean he just gets to expect you to put out for him! Even if you weren't demi, no one gets to just assume they deserve sex."

His lips were pressed in a narrow line, nostrils flared once in annoyance. He was usually so calm and laid back that you thought it rather cute when he got overprotective. "It's alright, Hants, really."

He still gave you a look that said he disagreed but then shook his head, dropping the subject for now at least.

"Still like those late-night drives?"

"I love them."

"Good."

Hanta waited for a car to pass and whipped the car in the other direction.

It wasn't long before he had the windows rolled down, conversations filling in the blanks of lost time, in between belting out choruses of your favorite songs. Minutes slipped by the further he drove, you lost track of both time and kilometers, letting him tell you all about the ridiculous antics the group had been up to.

Eventually, you caught the scent of salty air and even in the dark, you had a pretty good idea where Hanta was going. He followed a winding road, making two left turns and then a right leaving you on a stretch of road that paralleled the ocean.

You let your head fall against the seat, eyes falling shut and inhaling that wonderful smell you missed so much. Hanta had just one hand lazily on the wheel, his elbow resting out the open window, a relaxed smile was illuminated in soft orange lights off his dash.

You let your head roll onto his shoulder, not as easily done without the bench seat in his station wagon but it worked nonetheless. "Thanks."

His free hand came to rest on your knee, "Anytime."

He turned the wheel, pulling over and parking in front of a small beach access that you guys had found at 3 in the morning five years prior. Hanta kicked off his shoes, leaving them in the car to avoid them being sand-filled and you did the same with the knee-high boots purely because you longed to feel the sand between your toes.

The wooden planks were worn, parts buried beneath the sand until eventually, none remained. Breaking waves flooded your ears and you made a run for them! Before you could reach the lapping water though, tape had wound around your middle and yanked you backward.

"Not happening!" Hanta said firmly. "Last time I let you talk me into late-night swimming we didn't have a change of clothes either and we both got so sick! I think I might have actually died without Bakugo's soup!"

You chuckled, remembering being nineteen and curled up with Hanta on the sofa in the living room of the apartment you all shared for nearly a week. The sniffles didn't cease for almost three weeks.

"Okay, okay, no swimming." You flopped back down into the sand, his tape still attached meaning the cellophane hero was pulled down with you. "Tell me about the stars then, Hants. Who's out tonight?"

Astronomy was a hobby of Hanta's you learned about after moving into the dorms your first year. It wasn't uncommon to find him out on the roof most nights, laying on his back and looking up into the clear night sky littered with twinkling stars, usually with a joint pressed between his lips. It became almost a habit for him to grab you on his way up, pulling you along because you were more than happy listening to him tell you about each constellation and the stories behind them.

It was around this time of year, in your final year of high school; somewhere between him recalling the greek mythos of Aries and Sagittarius that you noticed your heart beating a little faster. You realized something had shifted between the two of you, and, holy shit, was this what it felt like to have a crush! When the hell did that happen?

You'd entrusted everything to Hanta back then, and now, laying in the sand shoulder to shoulder while he talked about Draco, that familiar feeling stirred again. You remembered what it was supposed to be like when you weren't forcing it for some random guy. How simple it was supposed to be.

You inclined on an elbow and he stopped mid-sentence. "Eh, everything alright?" You nodded but he looked anything but convinced, mirroring your position and asking you again.

It was easy for you to lean forward, to brush your lips against his for the first time in three years. And, when you pulled away, he looked about as shocked as he had the night you'd done it when you were eighteen.

"You- you still like me?"

When you left for America, you'd both agreed to put a pause on your sort of relationship. Free to date and screw whomever you pleased because three years was a long time and it just seemed like a fair decision to make. The realization that he might now have someone else special in his life dawned on you...

"Yeah but I totally understand if things are different now and I shoulda asked- oof!"

He kissed you so hard you toppled back into the sand, quick pecks, one right after another, ending them with a long one that nearly left you breathless.

"I didn't know how to bring it up. I didn't want to make you feel awkward about things or make you think I expected something. I thought that maybe since we didn't talk for a while your feelings might have changed."

"I can say with confidence they haven't."

"Thank fuck." He groaned and captured your lips in another searing kiss.

It was easy to lift his shirt off, the shreds of tape that remained were now covered with gritty sand that clung to your fingers as you traced the chest and torso you knew so well. Gliding over defined muscles, lingering on old scars and mapping out new ones he'd collected in your time apart.

His own hands were busy flicking open the brass fastenings of your corset, huffing about it being so much more difficult to get to your chest and something about it being very unfair.

By the time he'd undone the last one, bright headlights shown across the beach. "Shit."

Giggling ensued from the walkway and you both sighed, at least it wasn't the police or a hero patrol. Hanta gathered his shirt and ran back to his car with his hand in yours.

"I thought our days of being caught were over."

"At least it wasn't Mr. Aizawa this time."

A chill ran down your spine remembering the night and the lecture you'd received when your teacher had caught Hanta sneaking out of your room early one morning.

"So, uh, do you still plan on going to Denki's party?" You asked innocently enough but Hanta knew you far too well.

"I think I'm gonna miss it this year." His hand found a home on your upper thigh. "Apparently, you and I have a lot of catching up to do. Lost time to make up for and all that."

"Too bad you don't have that old station wagon anymore. If you did, we wouldn't have to wait to get back."

Dark eyes glanced over at you not so subtly parting your legs.

"I dunno. It's not too often I travel in the backseat of my own car but I've been told it's pretty roomy. Lots of legroom."

Your hand ran over your legs, dipping down to lightly brush your more sensitive parts, thankful you opted for the thin pair of black leggings rather than the dark skinny jeans. Your fingers danced again and this time you let a soft moan pass your lips. "Eyes on the road, Hants."

"That's a little hard to do when I've got you spread out in the passenger's seat." He grabbed your free hand and pressed it against the bulge in his pants. "You've got me distracted, filthy little woman."

You appreciated him testing the waters, a subtle way of checking if you liked those nicknames he used only in private with you, giving you a chance to protest if your likes had changed. They were one's that only felt right coming from him and you were eager to hear more.

Forgoing your own high, you leaned over the center console as best you could, undoing his belt first, followed quickly by his zipper letting his strained cock be free.

His grip tightened on your leg when you kissed the tip of him. "Just like old times, huh?"

A chuckle turned quickly into a moan, taking him in your mouth, pushing yourself further on his cock, fighting your gag reflex to get him down your throat. Hanta reclined his seat further, giving you more room to work with.

Your legs clenched tighter with every groan you pulled from him, wiggling your hips in the seat, letting a hand fall back between your own legs. There was an attempt of a moan around his cock when his fingers coiled in your hair. "Such a good slut. Keep fuckin' goin'." He let you continue at your own speed, needing to focus as best he could on the road rather than what you were doing but, damn, you were making that increasingly difficult.

He wasn't stopping you though. He rarely did. You'd sucked him off on countless drives before and only stopped when- "That's it." He lifted you off him by your hair at the same time he pulled off the road. There was a convenient turn-off, hidden by overgrown brush you noticed before he shut off the headlights.

Hanta took you by the chin, smearing drool. "Backseat, pretty girl." He reached into the glove box and pulled out a foil wrapper, "What do you say we test out that legroom?"

He wait to watch your smile grow wide before crawling into the back because he had to be the first to go if this had any chance of working. Once situated, pants under his thighs, he patted his lap for you to climb over.

You slid easily onto his lap, hands traveling up and over his shoulders, kissing hard while you rocked your hips against impossibly hard length.

There was so much comfort in the familiarity of him. It wasn't awkward to fall back into rhythm with Hanta, to remember that he loved the feeling of your nails dragging down his chest. And he was just as eager to get your shirt off, reach your breasts he'd missed so much, and get his tongue on your nipples.

Your head tipped backward, loving the pace he set, hips bouncing creating the perfect tug on your nipples between his teeth.

"Love, if I promise to buy you a new pair, can I rip these damn leggings? They're just so thin and-"

"Please." Your breathy moan had him smirking and with a single grunt the leggings were ruined, cool air from the vents had only a moment to touch your bare ass before Hanta's hands reclaimed it.

There was no way he hadn't felt your arousal before ripping your clothes off, you soaked through your panties and leggings, you knew that, but that didn't stop him from commenting on how soaked you were now on his fingers. "Want me inside you, whore? I think you do."

You nodded with a whimper and he slipped a finger in. "Hants, noo- I- I want your cock, please."

"You're gonna take my fingers like a good little slut first." You clenched at the words falling from his mouth. "So fuckin' tight you can barely take a finger. How'm I supposed to fit in here if you can even take a single finger? Need you to loosen up, alright." He pushed another finger in, scissoring the two inside you.

"This gonna make you cum? You need this bad, don't you? Tell me. Tell me how bad you need to cum."

"I want it. Please, please, I need it. I'm so close," You babbled and ripped the foil open with his teeth, rolling it with one hand on his cock. In an instant, his fingers had been replaced with this dick. Sticky fingers on your ass helping you ease down on him with a hiss.

"Fuck," Hanta let out a throaty chuckle, "You still fuckin' feel the absolute best." He dropped a kiss between your breasts, letting you adjust to his girth. "Perfect. Good girl. Such a fuckin' good little slut."

He wasn't about to last long. Not once you started bouncing up and down on him, your tits right in front of his face.

"Couldn't even wait for me to get you home, had to fucking tease me in the damn car." He held onto the fat of your ass, pulling you along him and slamming you down hard.

"Kinda pathetic how desperate you are. Fuck. Kinda hot too."

When the top of your head bumped the roof of the car, he scooted lower, trying to give you as much room to ride him however you pleased.

"What do you need? You wanna cum, don't you, pretty girl, what do you need?"

"Faster, faster please."

Hanta shifted even lower, making you grab onto the two headrests while he thrust his hips up into you at a rapid speed. His thumb on your clit was the additional stimulation you needed to fall over the edge. Nails clawing at the black leather as he continued to moan below you now chasing his own release.

You stayed poised above him, using every last bit of strength to stay upright until his mouth was rambling and his cock pulsed inside of you. Fingers bruising your skin before holding your pelvis snuggly against his.

He was bent in a way that looked entirely uncomfortable and yet he still smiled so widely. Reaching up to brush hair out of your eyes, "You okay?"

"Perfects, Hants. A little sore but I'm sure you are too." He moved off his lap, letting him slip out of you with a groan, "Is your neck gonna be okay?"

"I'll be fine. Having you back, love, is more than worth a little bit of a neck cramp."

As he tied a knot in the condom, depositing it into a plastic bag he had tucked away under his seat, Hanta raised a brow, "Love, really, are you alright? Please, tell me if I hurt you at all."

"No! I'm good, why?"

"You're sitting silly."

You were sitting a little odd, perched on your knees rather than sitting on your ass because the leather was chilly and you told Hanta as much making him laugh. "Wait, I think I can help." He leaned back to the front of the car, flicking a button making it glow. Once he tucked himself back in his pants he hopped out of the car and you could see him rummaging in his trunk through the rear window.

"I keep forgetting to take this out from our camping trip a couple months ago. Guess it turned out to be a good thing." He laid the blanket down over the passenger's seat, declaring that should help a bit.

You wrapped the now toasty warm blanket around your bottom half while Hanta drove back towards the city, your head on his shoulder, his hand on your thigh.

"So, shopping tomorrow? I believe I owe you a pair of leggings..."

"It's a date."

[binniesthighs]

multifandom soulmate aus ✨

soulmate (n): a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

✨ a/n: hello hello!! today on, “Ro’s self indulgent fics” ehehe i’ve been thinking a lot about some of my favorite kpop besties and how i feel like sometimes in a group, there’s the members who just stick like glue and it’s kinda like they were destined to meet that way! anyway hehe this concept is so fkn cute to me so i wanted to make some poly r-ship headcannons with some of my favorites! 

➛ disclaimer: the pairings that i use are def not all inclusive of all “soulmate” pairings out there, just the ones i know of atm! also, i know some of these groups better than others, so some will be more specific, and others a little more general! 

✨ groups included: stray kids, ateez, the boyz, monsta x, seventeen, txt, bts 

✨ feedback is always appreciated! who’s your favorite?✨

➛maybe if we’re feelin’ spicy i can do a part 2 with the ones i haven’t done yet ;) 

Pairing: idol x female reader x idol (see fandoms above!) 

Genre: fluff n’ smut

Tags: established r/ship au, poly r-ship, sexual content (the usual stuff also including unprotected sex-please stay safe!) comfort ahhh, mentions of food alcohol  

*all photocreds go to ops :) 

both sfw and nsfw under the snip snip! 

♡ chanlix ♡

sfw

omg where the hell do i start with chanlix we love our cannon soulmates 

arguably the softest fkn pairing on this list; being soulmates with chanlix is like meeting your other halves (thirds?). there’s some serious destiny at work here!! 

the three of you understand each other on a spiritual level--almost to the point where you could likely read their minds if you wanted to try haha. there’s also a really, really strong type of emotional intimacy that you share with them that’s out of this world. 

this soulmate bond is so fkn strong, the three of you could go through any hardships and come out of it stronger than ever! 

the three of you have cute lil nicknames for eachother that you thought up yourselves! 

 your families are close as heck! it’s really pure how by the three of you so many people can get close ahhh 

i think that chanlix would be really into more outdoorsy dates? camping, swimming, hiking, sightseeing, stargazing, picnics etc! felix also loves taking you on food tours! 

bc chan is chan, he really takes on such a protective role over you and felix, he would quite literally do anything for you two: forgot your notebook or documents on the way to work/school? he’ll drop everything to bring them to you. sad? he’ll get you your favorite food, tons of blankets, his hoodie to wear and your favorite movie/tv show to watch with you! if anyone hurts your feelings too he will square tf up. 

felix is the world’s most adoring boyfriend in so, so many ways. not only is he such a cuddle bug, he shows you that he cares with tons of acts of service similar to chan! this comes in the form of his baking of course and other silly little gifts he sees that reminds you of him. he isn’t the best at words sometimes, but will soothe you by giving you a little massage or by playing with your hair! 

nsfw 

okay...😏 damn i’ve been wanting to write some poly chanlix so fkn bad ahhhh 

once again i really see chan taking the lead in more intimate situations. he really likes giving directions and seeing both you and felix carry them out! honestly he gets a bit of an ego boost seeing the both of you all whiny and fucked out ahhh 

here i come with my softsub!felix agenda oops hehe but this boy is frickin’ angelic for you and chan oml, he always asks for permission before he does things and eats praise up with a fkn spoon. praises alone really get him off: “does lixie like it when i play with his cute cock like this?” 

there’s something that gets the three of you ridiculously amped when you do all kinds of roleplay scenarios FRICK some favorites are pet play (you and lix being the kitties) teacher/student, roleplaying strangers, sex slaves, artist/muse, oh my god there was a halloween where you once did vampire roleplay you still think about it 🤤 

since the three of you are so comfortable with eachother, experimentation feels really safe! for example, the suggestion of shibari came up and now....let’s just say lix looks really pretty tied up ;) 

chan’s got a huuuuge (cock) and size kink!! he really likes topping both you and lix and seeing a bulge omg.... also when he can bulge your throats mmmhm! 

felix loves it especially when you ride his face, and he cold do it for hours! he looks so cute between your legs when he licks over and over your clit. he’ll ask you too if he’s doing good and you better say yes ;) 

favorite position would be all cuddled up and cozy with the two of them double penetrating you real nice and slow with tons of kisses and just touchin’ all over 

cockwarming cockwarming all day, every single time, without fail, it feels wrong if you finish without it! 

♡ woosan  ♡

sfw 

idk why but the first thing that comes to my mind is that in certain settings, ya’ll are loud as fuck AHA i guess what i mean to say as that as a trio, you are all super, super unapologetic and confident when around each other! this might have lead to you getting kicked out of a couple bowling alleys and karaoke places before... 

there’s a type of unspoken understanding that the three of you have that makes your bond so special. while you love eachother so dearly, it isn’t something that you really feel needs to be said out loud, it kind of just is! 

woosan are already really clingy on their own and when you come along?? you all can’t keep your hands off each other!! ya know how in movies there’s the whole “hand in the back pocket of your jeans???” woosan!! 

their energy together is so fkn chaotic but that's why you love them! they never fail to make you laugh and this is also the best way that they know how to cheer you up! 

Bc the three of you are a bit unbridled, it’s a bit hard to be serious at times when you go on dates/hang out with friends together so often you get some affectionate eye rolls haha 

wooyoung is someone that will try anything with you! hehe even if he knows that he mind not be that into it, he’ll still go with you! of course, he might say something snarky but he really does love just spending time with you! wooyoung also shares you with all his friends (changbin, yeonjun) so lowkey it feels like you’re one of the bros at times LOL 

san is a big fan of giving you gifts! oh also! words of affirmation too, san is someone who knows your insecurities well, so hypes you tf up all the time!! he especially loves buying things for you that he knows you’ll look pretty in just so he can compliment you ahhh 

at the end of the day however, there’s nothing more more that the three of you love than the tightest cuddles ever as you fall asleep! honestly, sometimes its a little too tight haha 

nsfw 

THESE BOYS FKN RAVISH YOU LIKE YOU’RE A FIVE COURSE MEAL 

and of course they expect the same from you as well! i mean....can you blame them??? these boys are sexy as hell and they frickin’ know it!! 

i have this super clear image of both of them stripping you down and rubbing massage oil all over your body and then giving you the turn to do it to them my lord...

sort of along this line, temperature play makes these boys feral. wax, ice, blowies with popsicles you name it 

both of them really just like being touched all over because they have the prettiest dancer’s bodies and just feeling hands on their muscles makes them loose it. 

wooyoung loves to mark the hell out the both of you in a really territorial way: all over your chests and necks even on your thighssss 

san, while he often does find himself in sub space, really easily can switch to dom you in the most beautiful way. everything with him is really intimate and raw: if this wasn’t already obvious haha he would like have a hand kink and loves seeing the way that his fingers look pumping in and out of your entrance and how your juices look as well. 

back too wooyoung, he’s the king of oral. whether it’s going down on you and sucking at your clit or deep throating with master level skill...foreplay is never boring with him! 

in my brain, i can see the both of them filling nearly position so this makes for an interesting dynamic to say the least AHA 

every once and a while, they’ll let you take complete control of the both of them while they just sit back and watch you with the most smug-ass grins that you’ll see in your life! 

AH another thought: woosan fkn love when you squirt on them, in any way this might look: when you’re nearly screaming in your overstimulation they want it all over them. 

favorite position would be 69 threesome style with all of your sloppy moans in-between <3 

♡  moonbae  ♡

sfw 

HEAR ME OUT the king of soulmates that know that they are soulmates but don’t take it seriously in the slightest istg this is my most favorite dynamic ahhhh 

there is not one dull day with these two boys, they’ll have you laughing in stiches until you can barely breathe like, the best kind of wheezy, silent laughter ya know what i’m talking about 

INSIDE JOKES literally so many inside jokes with the three of you 

Kevin is never scared to call your ass out, but that’s bc he knows you so well!! it’s all just jokes don’t ya worry ;) 

Along this line, your groupchat like has some random-ass name that’s also an inside joke

Jacob on the other hand is the biggest sweetheart when it comes to you, boy frickin’ melts. There is not a day that goes by when he hasn’t told you he loves ya morning and night. 

Also the best listener in the whole world, you can tell him anything and everything and he’s just sit and listen and give advice. 

Kevin loves you a ton a ton but just shows it differently! He remembers all the little things about you that you tell him to the point it’s scary how he does it so well 

Meme king Kevin would send you memes that remind him of you and Jacob

Lowkey i can see the both of them getting into the cutest petty arguments like which one of them you love more or think is more talented AHA again it’s all in good fun hehe 

it goes without saying but...it’s cuddle central up in here. 

THEY WOULD SERENADE TF OUT OF YOU oh my god it’s literally heavenly, Kevin would play piano and Jacob would play guitar FRICK 

You have oddly specific dates?? Like they would pick a movie to go see that the three of you would all hate just to meme the whole time. Jacob would still get invested accidentally tho. 

The way to both of these boy’s hearts is their stomachs so when you cook for them they would quite literally do anything for you 

nsfw 

ok ok so i’m a baby deobi so this is the gist of what i’m getting (i also did a little research LOL thank you @ deobi smutblr hehe) 

firstly i would like to say that i’m manifesting thigh riding with Jacob and i literally can’t think of anything else for some reason just p h e w and BOY does he love it too he thinks its so fkn cute to watch you! 

i get heavy, heavy switch vibes from Kevin with maybe some sub leanings??? either way, jacob def has soft dom vibes (oh god and occasional soft sub) to me but also has no problem with you taking control and doing what you like to him if that’s what you desire! 

kevin is impatient impatient and does not do well with your teasing. also...loud as hell, like, sometimes you have to tell him that he needs to calm tf down hehe (but of course you love it when he gets like that) 

separately, both of them are very different experiences i think: kevin is a fan of hard and fast, kitchen counter over the sofa type stuff sloppy toppy in risky places, and he loves to experiment too! 

jacob is also really different where he likes much, much more slow and intimate stuff like missionary, shower sex, real atmospheric stuff like candles and nice scents ahhh BIG fan of really fluffy pet names too like baby, princess, angel etc. super visual too omggg gets hard when you strip for him i think ;) 

together it’s a fkn whirlwind i’ll tell ya that. its like, honestly the most unique experience i can think of on this list because the two of them are so different. i will say that it can end up being really giggly and sweet tho! 

when it’s the three of you, kevin’s dom side comes out a little more so you’re left with these two lovely boys who want to give you all the attention! it’s lowkey a competition lol 

favorite position is when you’re sucking jacob off and kevin gets to do literally whatever the hell he wants with your pussy...i imagine that it might have to do a lot with edging if you ask me ;) 

♡ jookyun  ♡ 

sfw

oddly, i find myself soft af for jookyun and idk how to describe it haha (considering that they can often be hard as hellll) 

the three of you are also really nonchalant, but this is really in the way that you just feel as if you’ve known eachother for a really long time! 

as we know, jookyun were a bit of an enimies to lovers arc (AHA) so with the time that they’ve spent building their bond, it’s strong asf! 

i like to think that jooheon and changkyun would really get a ton of artistic inspiration from you for their music. since both of them write and often reflect bc of this, you’re totally their muse! (they’ll write some nasty as hell lyrics thanks to you too LOL) 

while our lovely thicc mx boys have unbridled confidence at times, really, they are babie. and they are frickin weak for your pampering. 

because of this, the two of them would become flustered as all hell when you do lil things for them!! this could be making them some lunch or just giving them the off compliment that they look a lil extra handsome that day. 

your safe place is with them!! ahhh i would also like to add the number of slick ass grabs when you’re in public is a bit off the chain at times ahah 

the duality of this r/ship is really something to note LOL when you go out and about when the two of them you certainly get some stares bc they look a lil intimidating at times but when you and your boyfriends cuddle up on the subway you give all passerby's whiplash haahah

Kyun is someone who is insanely romantic. almost to the point that it is cheesy haha he’d treat the both of you to expensive ass dinners, beach vacations and maybe even matching couple’s jewelry like rings or bracelets! 

jooheon on the other hand is a little more toned down haha but has another side to him that fkn swells with pride knowing how breathtaking you both are...frankly, his ego skyrockets knowing that he’s got you both for arm candy if this make sense teehee 

the three of you call eachother “babe” interchangeably, so it can get a bit confusing when you’re all in the same place and someone says “hey babe?” you need a new nickname ooP 

nsfw 

hello and here i am to push the sub!changkyun agenda. first and foremost i would like to explain how this man is such a pillow princess with the most lovely bratty edge *sighs* all that kyun wants is for you to fkn use him and do literally whatever the hell you want!! this man daydreams about you riding him right then and there wherever the hell he is. 

also, kyun is the king of toys, both using them on you and on himself! need i also say breath play as well in the same giving and receiving form? more than anything he loves it when jooheon wraps his hand around his neck hooooly ahhh he prefers it when you tease his tip with a vibrator until he’s angrily red and begging for you to give him a break just for you to bend down and give a kiss to his pearly head which makes him jolt 

jooheon is often more of a soft to hard dom if you ask me and takes care of both you and kyun really well. also... he will manhandle the hell out of you if you feel up for it (cough cough your arm kink for him ) oh shit and his thighs....don't’ even get me started 

while the three of you often opt for the hard and fast (even in some more risque places--such as in the recoding studio) there are really some more intimate times that you share too! 

on one of changkyun’s vacations, in the middle of the night, when no one was in sight and the hot tub was free for use...it started out as a bit of making out but then turned into something else when you decided to straddle jooheon and he let his hands creep under the straps of your swimsuit...needless to say you were bouncing on both of their dicks while you were warmed by the crackling bubbles 

at times, jookyun can get a little needy and impatient without you, so this has lead to a couple situations where you walk in on them letting out their frustrations ;) of course, immediately then they’d love for you to join! 

kyun has an oral fixation too, sooo he may or may not love cockwarming with his mouth or sucking your fingers lightly when you go to suck his dick~ 

♡  junhao  ♡

sfw

here me out with this one...but...there’s something really intimate about this relationship?? oh how to put this into words LOL junhao also have an insanely deep bond that really transcends if ya ask me haha 

while they both can be really goofy around eachother when comfortable the soulmate vibes are just...immaculate! this is all i can say? all three of you are just so connected in the way that you accept each other for all that you are and just kind of naturally gravitate towards each other even before you really knew that there were romantic feelings involved! 

first, i would like to say that out of all the pairings on this list, you three are classy as FUCK. seeing the three of you next to eachother is like seeing literally three models in the flesh. the way that you dress (sometimes even to match a little) is unbelievable bc you all just look so good? 

hand holdingggg wherever you go! holding hands across cafe tables, playing with each other’s hands absentmindedly hehe 

TRAVEL BUDDIES you would go anywhere with them and take tons of pics!! i mean the prettiest pics 

hao shows his love for you in the form of so many things, all of which he makes himself!! you inspire his physical art and drawings which he shares with you and he also loves to take clothes too and personalize them for you! 

jun on the other hand would take you to the studioooo and you could watch him danceee oh my gosh he’s literally so breathtaking and he would be dancing just for you with every curve of his body he’s so magical :’) then he’d ask you for feedback and you’d just be speachless...also loves to make you smile!! just being his goofy self he’s the best at it and thinks you’re so cute! 

there’s a ton of adoration in this relationship! tons of cute little displays of skinship that might look like a poke in the cheek or the fluffing of their hair ahh 

still, i feel like you would have kind of silly little nicknames for them that match their personalities and perhaps...you could have matching phone cases with these nicknames.... 

in this relationship there’s a ton of quiet moments that are really peaceful and indulgent such as watching sunsets, drinking wine together, just talking about life n stuff like that! 

nsfw 

hellz yeah we’re in for some more intimate-ass fuckin! but also....😏

this boys are kinky as shit but in like a really classy ass way lolll this is so hard to put into words. 

well, i’ll start with junhui catboy agenda so there’s that hehehe he would most def be into pet play: that could be like ears or pretty collars and of course calling you (or him) kitten. 

minghao is really versatile and doesn’t really like labels of dom and sub, he just does what he wants and what feels good to him! bc we’re talking about how intimate everything is, the kind of sex that you share with them is often never rushed but really purposeful and even planned sometimes! 

i also see there being TONS of sensory items that would come into play with junhao such as flowers, fragrances, aphrodisiacs, all kinds of fabrics for sensory deprovision such as velvet, silk, hemp rope, and so much more! 

BOTH OF THEM WOULD SOUND ANGELLIC i see hao as letting out really pretty soft moans that kind of trail on his tongue and jun sort of choking out gasps with a bit of a rasp to them when they cum or they feel turned on

oh god MIRROR SEX that's what i have to say about this 

it doesn’t happen often, but sometimes when any one of you would be feeling needy or pent up they can certainly do hard and fast with you between the two of them. especially when this happens, oh my god hao loves it when you moan really breathily into his mouth when you’re pressed against him ooooh shit 

and jun loves it when you bite into his shoulder too when he fucks you it just makes him feral 

actually, i could really see the three of you recording yourselves, or even taking pictures when you have more intimate moments to look at later, just for your own enjoyment or to get off when you’re without the others 

favorite position: hmmm mirror sex with you on top of minghao literally just kissing him and marking his body as jun eats you out until you’re dripping down to minghao’s cock which he jerks off too~ 

♡  yeonbin  ♡

sfw 

DON’T TOUCH ME IM SOFT  

admittedly i don’t know too much about this pairing but i do know a lil so i wanted to add them!! i also did a lil research hehe 

FIRST i would like to say that the three of you would without a doubt have the cutest puppy together, if not one, then two!! they would be little dogs with perfect haircuts and likely have their own instagram account which the three of you would run! they’d be instragram famous of course 

LITERALLY EVERY DAY ITS A FIGHT OVER WHOS CUTEST i kid you not this is an ongoing battle you’re all just...so weak for the other ahaha 

being in a relationship with them is like being in a relationship with your bestfriends! 

dates with the two of them can really range all over the place bc you just like having fun together! movie dates, breakfast dates, ZOO OR AQUARIUM DATES, taking little trips to places you haven’t been before or stay at home dates like having a little indoor picnic! 

soobin is really low energy, and would often opt to hang out with you at home or at a cafe while the two of you do your thing together! he lovessss when you bake or cook for him, literally whatever it is he’ll eat it! 

his smile is instant serotonin and the reason why you fell in love with him! the two of them together all smiley is your lockscreen! 

yeonjunie prefers going out with you clothes shopping and would DEF enable you to dye your hair a color that you’ve always been dying to do! he also loves showing you new music and blushes like heck when you tell him that you like the songs that he picks! 

in their own playful ways too, they’d always call you out on your bs LOLL but they just wanna motivate you! they’re your biggest cheerleaders! 

Deep down though, both of them are quite cheesy and would love to shower you with alll the stereotypical romance that you can take even if it makes all three of you cringe ahahah 

nsfw

NEEEEDY and literally so mf horny on the dl like it’s comical to how soft and shy they can be in real life situations 

oh my god this is a godly thought but i see both of them being both switchy as heck but not really bc they like how it feels to be in those different postions but literally....bc no matter what it is they are getting off lolll 

i see both of them having sub leanings but can get real bratty if they’re feeling it. 

yeonjun does have a dom side to him that just comes with his general confidence that he gets around you! when either of you beg from him he’s ready to let himself loose. 

im so sorry but they literally handed pet play to me on a silver platter with cat & dog and there is no going back for me. SO you’re in for puppy, kitty and bunny play (shhhh yeonjun’s got his fox ears too) 

WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT HOW ALL OF YOU WOULD LIKE THIGH HIGHS

both of them love being edged to high hell by you...no matter if it hurts...they kinda like it? 

at the same time, both of your boyfriends also love giving you all the attention at times too! i’m talking about one of them playing with your breasts while the other trails kisses down your body all the way down to your pussy aching for attention too

FUCK this might be just me but soobin eating you out>>>> a GODLY sight. 

i have this other fantasy of yeonjun with either lip piercings or nipple piercings or even a dick piercing someone plz tell me to calm down 

oh please...bubble bath with the two of them holy shit baby pink bubbles all around you while you take turns givin’ each other cute kisses ahhhh 

one more thing to the pile here would be hella mutual masturbation soo much of it. the three of you get off just simply watching eachother too and dirty talking how much you love the way the others look with hands rubbing themselves away with cute whiny moans~ 

♡ taekook ♡

sfw 

omg! this is my first time remotely talking about bts on my blog hehe this is so exciting!! i don’t really read too much bts ff so this is going off of my own perception! 

i just wanna say....there’s so much to unpack here LOL but like many of the soulmates on this list, these boys are ~whipped~ for you and eachother!! its so stinkin’ cute 

another thing about these expensive boyfriends is that they loooove to sing for you too! they’d sing you to sleep, when you’re sick, sad, or just had a hard day allllways hehe 

the three of you have sickeningly adorable nicknames for eachother, the kind that honestly make heads turn LOL 

jk would without a doubt get tattoos with you!! and wine drunk lollll he’s also a huge enabler so if there’s anything that you’re considering buying or doing he’d hype you up so bad you barely have to think twice heheh 

kinda like junhao they’d also make amazing travel buddies but less for the aesthetic, but for the luxury. you’d stay at amazing hotels and eat at Michelin star restaurants wearing luxury brands that they bought for you

i feel like this goes without saying, buuuut in this r/ship, its alll about the adoring glances from afar or even just right next to you bc they love you so much!! 

i also get a very protective vibe from them as well, you’re very special to them, and they never wanna see you in harms way or disrespected by anyone! this could even look like having their arm around you on the bus or on the small of your back in a crowd 

together, they’re the biggest jokesters and flirty as HELL they think that it’s so funny when they flirt out in public AGRESSIVELY just to make you a lil embarrassed hehe  

forehead kissessss and kisses on the back of your hand! 

nsfw 

luxurious in this area tooooo 

they would rent out the penthouse or presidential suite to make an evening for you and pull out all the stops: expensive champagne, lingerie selected just for you, a breathtaking view of the city ahhhh 

ya all know how much i love my soft and intimateeee body touching and there would be plenty of this! they take their time undressing you and eachother and would plant kisses into the nape of your neck and shoulders as you do so! 

i would like to contribute to this conversation sub!jk bc this is something that ahhhhh i really like to think about as well as soft dom tae bcccc why not heheh 

these boys are utterly gorgeous under soft lighting and prowling all over your body too tho ahhh 

BUT! imagine teasing the hell out of jk, barely letting him feel your mouth besides fleeting kisses while tae drives his hips into you from behindddd 

in fact, these boys actually don’t mind a little voyeurism with the wide windows in your suite, opting to leave them open so there's a bit of thrill in the way that they fuck you too~ 

tae has a bit of...dare i sayyyy a power kink, so when you call him names such as sir, daddy, master etc oh boy 

jk himself is bit into sensory dep specifically with blindfolds especially when its your hands travelling all around his body making him shiver. 

both of them just looove cuming all over you as well: face, ass, thighs, belly, literally anywhere, they just think that you look amazing like that! 

there are a couple times here and there when the three of you also do a bit of cam work together for other people to watch--although it isn’t often, you rake it in when you do so. the three of you are a perfect fantasy! 

sex also can happen in odd places with you three too since you can just start feeling it and don’t really care ;) strangest place....hmm i’d say when you joined the mile high club with them~ 

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses! 

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz  @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

[dreamkidddream]

Heya! It’s me again!! Can I request a BSD crew with Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi with a older siblings reader that really cares for them and is overprotective. (Really cold on the outside, but with them its a whole different story) Sorry it’s long!! Looking forward with your works!

Thank you for the request and thank you for reading!! Sorry about the wait, and it got kinda long. Reader is gender neutral and hope you enjoy!

TW: Suicide talk in Dazai’s (nothing too heavy is mentioned), and small spoiler for Oda (I know I keep bringing him up but I love him okay), abuse mentioned in Atsushi’s 

Being an Overprotective Older Sibling (Sour but Sweet) with: Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi

Dazai

He stresses you out so, so, SO MUCH

You were ready to just wrap him up in a straitjacket and just attach him to your back, but you figured he would find a way to break free or kill himself (or even both)

When people saw the two of you together, on the outside, it looked either like a: you were handling an overgrown toddler or b: he was being held hostage by this scary looking individual that looks like they could rearrange your organs from the inside out

But, with you guys, it was the complete opposite. You were the best relative that Dazai had and could count on, but you refused to let him try any suicide attempts from his book (at least while he was in your presence). You were really sweet, always made sure to look out for him, and constantly protecting him. 

When you came into the ADA looking just for him, everyone was confused. Who was this random stranger coming in with the coldest expression, asking specifically for Dazai, holding a wrapped box. They knew that he had many enemies that range from now to his past, so now they were assuming that you were someone that came to get revenge.

Kunikida tried to intercept you first, but you told him that you only came to see Dazai and no one else. And that he better still be alive and uninjured or else. Well, they obviously took that as a threat and before a whole brawl could break out, here walks in Dazai and Atsushi

“Oh, (Y/N)! What a surprise to see you on this lovely day. Here to check on your dear little brother?” Hold up...BROTHER?? DAZAI HAS A SIBLING, AND HE’S THE YOUNGEST??! Poor Kunikida is about to malfunction and Ranpo is just sitting back enjoying the show with his snacks

“Osamu...How many times do I have to tell you...stop forgetting your lunch! You need to eat properly. And before you even say anything, you are going to eat this. I know you didn’t eat breakfast this morning, because just drinking coffee is not breakfast, and...”

You went from getting ready to whoop some ass to nagging him what is going on

 And that was the day that the Agency found out that Dazai had an older sibling. They were wondering why you never came to the office, and when you responded that is was, “none of their damn business”, they decided not to question it (at least in front of you). And they were so shocked to see you act, no be, so delicate with him. You were still talking to about your lunch, looking at him with the softest expression telling him, “I know you struggle with caring for yourself, so let me do it for you. You’re my younger brother, Osamu, let me do my job in taking care of you. You won’t let me protect you when you’re on the job, so let me protect you everywhere else.”

So, he was the reason why you weren’t working in the office alongside him? And it was true. After his days in the Port Mafia, when you were working alongside him, it was fine. He hated that you always got in the line of fire to “protect” him (and he knew and kept telling you that he didn’t need it, and if he did get hurt, to just let him suffer, to let him die). You didn’t understand his complete need to end his life, and it ate you up inside, but it also you a new resolve. Maybe he didn’t believe that his life was important or that he mattered to someone, so you took it to show him that someone did care, that you cared. 

It backfired one day on a mission, when you took a bullet that was meant for him. You were so close to death that day, knocking right on His door, and it shook him to his core. Back in those days, he cared for you and Oda, and cared little for himself. He came so close to losing you, and he realized he wouldn’t know what to do without you. You were one of the only people (honestly beside Oda) that he actually felt some kind of emotion for, and he would be damned if he lost you too

So he came with a new resolution after he left the Mafia, he would handle the dangerous life, while you stayed home. You obviously strongly rejected this idea, but he left no room for refusal. He rather be the one close to death than you, you still deserved to live life, not him. 

It led to a very long, emotionally draining, confrontational argument for hours, but the decision was made. You would live a regular life, far from any kind of violence or death, working a regular job while he would put his life on the line. On the terms that he would constantly keep you updated (ie. not ignoring your hourly calls and texts), actually eat the food that you prepare (breakfast, lunch, and dinner), and not push you away whenever he needed someone to leave on. 

You also threatened politely let him know that if these conditions weren’t followed, then all bets are off and you would raise hell. You were here to stay and you’ll make sure that he is too

You were a positive influence on Dazai’s life, and it was so funny how you would switch personalities. How you switch from being so kind and childlike to so frigid and antisocial was very entertaining to see. He does love you, and while you would try to police his every move (which was literally impossible), he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Plus he LIVED for you coming to stop by in the office now, seeing how Kunikida would try to avoid eye contact with you and Atsushi nervously sweating in his seat was hilarious. He knew you wouldn’t hurt them, but it was still pretty amusing

Chuuya

Opposite of Dazai, you stress him out SO MUCH

Part of it is because you’re overprotective, another part of it is because you are a complete smartass and you knew it

“Damn (Y/N) can you LET ME BREATHE FOR A SECOND?!”

“...”

“Seems like you’re breathing fine to me.”

“WHY YOU-“

But, he may complain, but he actually didn’t dislike that you were working with him in the Port Mafia. You could keep an eye on him, and he could make sure that you didn’t get into any extra trouble that could interfere with his missions or have you get disciplined by Mori. It was a win-win for you both

If there was one thing that he could change though, is your constant need of trying to take the hits designated for him. He doesn’t need you always jumping in front of him, defending him with your own body. He was more than capable of taking care of himself, if he wasn’t then not only would he not be one of the top executives, but he also wouldn’t still be alive

Also he has a reputation to uphold. How was he suppose to display his raw power and talents when you were continuously intruding on his cases?! Not to mention the fact that you act so detached when you’re dealing with the other members. It’s to the point that they’re too intimated to even make eye contact with you

Which he thought was so bizarre because you were one of the nicest people that he has ever come in contact with (even though he was your brother and you guys interacted with each other every day). You played the annoying sibling role very well (too well in fact), but you still make sure to look out for him and make sure that he’s okay, emotionally and physically. 

He understood why you did it, but at the same time he didn’t. You were both extremely strong, and he was the one with the better ability (not to mention that he’s the one that has Arahabiki inside of him). It came off that obviously you wanted him safe, but also that he couldn’t handle what comes at him. He’s not a little kid, he’s not some weakling that needs to be persistently protected, you both didn’t survive this long solely because of you, it was because of you both. It was a teamwork effort, and while he gets that he’s your youngest brother, he worries about you too

And he proved his point one night, when he had to dress your wounds after a mission went south. Here he was, scolding you and cursing about how stupid you were being, and the more he went on, the more you figured that he was angrier at himself for letting this happen. 

“Why is it so hard to understand that I want to protect you too?! Why don’t you give a damn about yourself like how you do about me?! You act like this entirely new person on the field like you don’t give a damn what happens to you and it PISSES ME OFF! Just like you protect me, I can and will protect you. I may be loyal to the Port Mafia, but you come first, always.”

After that, you did let him handle his own battles (but if he got a single scratch on him, then you will be joining whether he agrees or not). You were still annoying in Chuuya’s eyes, but it was just him being his stubborn, short tempered self about his older relative. He wants the best for you without a doubt and he wants you to realize you don’t have to carry this imaginary burden of protecting him, because you weren’t the powerful one in the family. He had your back just like you had his. You were one of the only things that still convinced him that he was still human and not a monster, and no words will measure just how much he appreciates you for that. You had your moments when you were irritating the hell out of him, but he still loved you regardless

Besides, you were the only person who somehow was able to get one of his favorite vintage wines (it still confused him so much how you got it and not him, and you refused to tell him) so he definitely couldn’t afford to lose you

Atsushi

Okay, you do not play about this man, ever

After growing up in the orphanage and joining the ADA, it took a while to get readjusted to being around people that weren’t trying to purposely harm you for just existing. For Atsushi, even though he was hesistant to join the agency, you were honestly against it. Sure, it was a fresh start from that horrible place, but it was also another gateway for danger. Not to mention how sketchy this suicidal guy was, if he was able to join the agency there’s no telling what other nut cases are apart of it too

Plus, you needed to keep your brother in your presence at all times. Enough has happened to him already, and you were going to do everything in your power to prevent him from going through that type of pain ever again, you swore

But after he discovered that he’s the weretiger that’s been causing trouble (which you had a hunch about but no way to confirm) and with him having no type of knowledge on how to control this new ability, it seemed like you two had no choice but to stay with the ADA. You weren’t very happy about this arrangement, but if it was able to help Atsushi with his newfound ability and provided you with the means to support you both (ie. getting paid), then so be it. You sucked it up and both joined

It took...some time for the other members to get used to your demeanor. Having someone in the agency give off such an intense deadly vibe was a little unsettling. It seemed like Kenji, Ranpo, and Dazai were the only three (besides your brother) that weren’t phased by it, but other people like the Tanizaki twins tried to steer clear of you as much as they could

It wasn’t that they hated you, it’s just...your aura wasn’t the friendliest. And it was even more confusing since you were the exact opposite for your brother! You conversed and laughed with him, but you never did it with the others. Watching Kunikida and Dazai do their daily banter didn’t even make you crack a smile. But whenever you were around Atsushi, it seemed like you were carefree, glowing even. It was evident that you both kept each other smiling and positive, and it warmed everyone to see

Whether it was desk duty or field missions, you were both always paired with each other. If Dazai and Atsushi were assigned to a case, guess who was also magically assigned with them too? If he was stuck on desk duty, you were too. No one had a problem with it surprisingly. Which was a complete lie but after you...made a convincing argument, they left you alone and let you tag along with your brother as long as it didn’t interfere with the success of the case

Junichiro low key understood it though, don’t be fooled cause he’ll snap for his sister too if he had to

You didn’t even give any enemies the chance to even come close to Atsushi. That’s how serious you were with keeping your word. Even when him and Akutagawa fought, you would find a way to get involved. You will not let anyone else hurt your brother again if you could help it

He did get upset with you, whenever you did this, which led to a really bad blowout between you two. You figured this was going to happen sooner or later. It just seem like Atsushi was ready to prove himself to someone when he didn’t have to, but you didn’t understand why he felt that need.

Ever since you guys have been in that hellhole of an orphanage, you always tried to protect each other, but you always tried to take the beatings that were meant for him. He always blamed himself for you being beaten and tortured. It was his fault, if he just takes the abuse and the “punishments” by himself, then you wouldn’t have to get involved and suffer because of him. If Atsushi wasn’t so frail, if he wasn’t so weak, if he just wasn’t a mistake-

“Naka, you okay? You’re zoning out again. You’re gonna walk right into the street if you don’t stop that!”

“R-right. Sorry (Y/N). I guess what happen-“

“The orphanage still gets to you, I know. Please stop blaming yourself, Nakajima. It wasn’t any of our faults, and I don’t blame you for none of it. If anything, I should have done a better job of protecting you. There’s no excuse, neither one of us should have went through what we did, especially you. If anything, I’m the one that needs to apologize. I should’ve tried harder in keeping you-”

“(Y/N) stop saying that! Neither one of us deserved it! You can’t be the strong one for the both of us. I want and have to protect you too! I want to be confident enough in myself and my ability to keep you safe. I already failed when we stuck at that damn orphanage, I’m not going to fail you again! Damn it (Y/N)! Give me a chance to prove to you that I can take care of you like how you took care of me!”

You were stunned. Did your little brother carry this much of a burden because of you? How long has he been feeling this way? He didn’t have to prove himself to you! He was more than enough, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty thinking that it was your fault for him feeling this way

After a very long heart to heart with him, you finally understood where he was coming from. You couldn’t promise him that you would stop your protective nature, but you did let him fight his own battles for once (but you still weren’t letting him get seriously hurt, that still wasn’t going to happen obviously). He told you that he was getting older, and that like it or not that you weren’t always going to be by side. He needed to learn how to stand on his own two feet, and while he loved that you were there for him to lean on, he needed this for himself and for you. He knew that being the best brother that he could be was getting stronger and getting better with his ability, he owed you that much

Atsushi loves you, and he has the same resolve like you. Being that you two are the only thing that you both have left in this world, he wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t lose you under any circumstances. Him bettering himself everyday with the help of you and the agency members and was more than enough to make sure that wouldn’t happpen

[hqbbg]

mistakes.

pairing: tsukishima x reader

anon request: I'm craving for some angst rip. Can I request a tsukishima x reader Angst one shot based on the song "moral of the story" by ashe. The song hit really close to home when the song said " young people fall in with the wrong people sometimes. " and also one of the lyrics kinda reminded me if Tsuki-Y/N 's relationship was strained " fought the whole time should've seen the signs" 😭😭😭😭 Thank you love your writing btw

genre: angst

word count: 1.4K

warnings: toxic relationship

author’s note: ok let me start off by saying I'm SO SO SO SORRY that it took me literally centuries to respond to this!! pls forgive me, dear anon 🥺 not gonna lie, I think this was just a little hard for me to write because the song (although really good) hits really close to home but anyways, I still hope you enjoy it! 💖

“I think we should take a break.”

Time stops as you feel your heart drop to your stomach. Your hands are trembling, and you do your best to hide them from view in your lap under the table you’re sitting at in a café. You chose to do this in public with the purpose of wanting to avoid breaking down in front of him, knowing that the idea of strangers seeing you crying was embarrassing enough to keep you from doing so, but heavy tears still line your eyes, threatening to spill down your cheeks anytime now.

Tsukishima says nothing and you look at him to see him looking back at you with hardly any emotion on his face, a shell of the man you’d fallen in love with.

You’re not sure when exactly everything had gone wrong, or if things were even right from the start.

When you had met, you were kids. You had been playing on your neighborhood playground with some other kids and noticed a commotion nearby, turning your head to see a kid around your age getting pushed to the ground by a group of bullies. You wanted to go over and help but stopped when a tall blond boy walked past and seemed to resolve the issue himself. You wanted to become his friend, so that’s exactly what you did.

Even though you went to different schools, you spent as much time as you could with him, and he seemed to enjoy your company just as much. The two of you had spent a lot of time together, occasionally accompanied by Yamaguchi—the small kid who was getting bullied—and the three of you had become a unique trio. As a result, you had been there whenever Tsukishima babbled on about how great his older brother was and witnessed the moment the image of his perfect brother was shattered into a million pieces.

Tsukishima had changed after that, growing distant and untrusting of those around him, including you. As a result, the two of you had stopped talking until high school; you were determined to become his friend again, doing as much as you could without being annoying.

You remember trying to find little excuses to talk to him during your first year and he’d brush you off every time. By the time your second year had rolled around, he seemed to have gotten used to you again and you were able to be bolder in your actions, asking him to study with you whenever you could. To your surprise, he agreed, and you did your best to get to know him all over again. He was still distant, but you started to pick up on little things he did to show that he cared for you.

The first time he had done something like that was when you had mentioned in passing that you’d been unable to eat breakfast because you were waking up late after staying up studying all night long. You had arrived at your desk one morning at school and saw a carton of milk and some bread sitting there. You had wondered who it was at first until Yamaguchi had asked if you received it because Tsukishima didn’t leave a note or any indication that it was specifically for you.

You weren’t sure when exactly your platonic feelings towards Tsukishima had shifted into something more romantic; all you knew was that you began to feel a little shyer and more nervous around him. He was quick to pick up on this, being as observant as he is, but let you take your time to admit your feelings for him at the end of your second year.

You probably should’ve seen the red flags when he flippantly suggested the two of you to start dating without saying that he returned your feelings, but you blinded yourself with the hopes that things would be okay.

During your third year, things seemed to be going fine, but you didn’t have much experience to make reference to. You thought the fighting and arguing was normal. You thought the neglect and invalidation of your feelings was normal.

“Why are you being so sensitive about this?” Tsukishima had asked you once when you had told him that you felt like he was treating you like a chore rather than a human being.

“You haven’t been answering my texts and calls,” you remember frowning, unable to contain the hurt from showing on your face.

“I told you that I’ve been busy,” he had responded with annoyance.

“I’m not asking for much, Kei,” your frown deepened, a sigh escaping past your lips. “I just feel like I haven’t been able to see you much lately.”

“I’ve had a lot of things to do,” he replied. That wasn’t what you wanted to hear, and he probably knew that. “Look, I’m sorry, okay?”

A lot of your talks had gone like this: you’d bring up a concern, he’d fail to understand, you’d get upset, and he’d apologize for the sake of not wanting to deal with the situation worsening; it was almost like clockwork. Part of you felt bad, as if you were a burden, but there were still moments in between these that gave you hope that Tsukishima cared for you deep down.

You’d go on dates every so often, some ending better than others, but you’d enjoy your time with him, nonetheless. Maybe it was because of the pain you felt more often than not that you’d learned to appreciate the good moments more. Maybe that was the problem.

The two of you ended up choosing to go to the same college and you had hoped that the freedom of not being under your parents’ roof would give you more time to spend with your boyfriend. You had been wrong.

Tsukishima found other things to busy himself with and the few times throughout the week that you’d spend together always ended in some kind of argument. You had gotten used to waking up with puffy eyes from crying yourself to sleep at night and keeping your feelings to yourself because you always felt overdramatic for bringing your concerns forward.

It had gotten to the point where you hadn’t spoken to him in over a week. You stopped texting him, tired of seeing his read receipts with no reply. You stopped calling, annoyed by the automated voice telling you that he was unavailable. You stopped going out of your way for him when he had stopped a long time ago.

Looking back, it’s not like you didn’t see this coming; you just didn’t want to acknowledge it.

You’d made a mistake.

You’d fallen in love with the wrong person.

You’d spent so much of your life trying to pour yourself into someone who could never do the same and you were exhausted.

“Okay.”

Tsukishima’s simple response brings you back to your current reality. He looks unfazed and you know that he’s been expecting this too.

“I just have a question to ask,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady. He raises an eyebrow at you, wordlessly telling you to go on. “Did you ever love me?”

Part of you shouldn’t be surprised when he doesn’t respond right away, but for some reason, your heart still hurts.

“I did.”

“When did you stop?”

You don’t want to know the answer, so you’re not sure why you ask.

“It’s not relevant.”

At least Tsukishima knows you well enough to know that the answer would break you no matter what.

“One last question,” you say, exhaling a shaky breath. “Did you regret ever dating me?”

The silence that follows feels deafening.

“No.”

You have a hard time believing him, though you try your best.

“That’s all I needed to know,” you say softly. You hadn’t even realized that the tears had begun falling until you felt them drip onto your hands.

“Take care of yourself, okay?” Tsukishima sighs heavily as he stands up. “I’m sorry.”

You can’t bring yourself to watch as he leaves you alone one last time. You don’t care that there are people around you as you bury your face in your hands and begin to cry as quietly as you can manage. You’re painfully reminded of both the good and bad memories and the aching in your chest only seems to increase.

Despite all this, if you had the chance to go back and redo anything, you probably wouldn’t. You made a mistake, but you were going to learn from this.

You had simply fallen in love with the wrong person.

[avengershumanresources]

blood 2 - Strange/Stark!Reader

Relationship: Dr. Strange/Princess!Stark!Reader

Rating: M

Warnings: Adult Themes, eventual smut (like, wayyy down the line), adult language, implied sexual violence, general violence

Synopsis: Reader is the daughter of the legendary King Anthony Stark, Uniter of Lands, The Iron Defender, and leader of the realm. When the king disappears during battle, hope is lost and he is presumed dead.

When the late king’s uncle, Obadiah, takes the throne until your brother Peter is of age, he quickly arranges a marriage for you with a wicked king in a neighboring kingdom.

With the realms politics in question, and rumors of an upcoming siege to overthrow Peter’s rule before it starts, you quickly learn who is loyal to the crown and who is not.

part 1 - part 3 

Masterlist

Chapter Playlist

2 - a night at the pub

You parted from Stephen the moment you saw Natalia and James in the crowd at the pub. They were sipping from large beer steins, listening to a bard sing a sorrowful song about the death of the great Iron Defender. 

When the music ended and the pub applauded, the entertainer switched to something more upbeat to soothe the mood.

“A bit sentimental for you two, isn’t it?” you asked, pulling back your cloak. Stephen had transfigured your overbearing mourning garb into something that would better fit in the village.

“How on earth did you slip out tonight?” James asked in surprise, brows raised to his hairline. “I would’ve though t they’d have had you under lock and key.”

“Everyone’s a bit... distracted, believe it or not,” you replied coolly, taking a seat at their table toward the back of the room. 

“So we hear,” Natalia leaned in. “Any news of the next king? I have a wager with the barkeep’s wife.”

“Anthony has an uncle who still lives,” Stephen supplied, taking a seat at your side. “Or so my companions informed me. Until Peter is of age, he would be the presumptive heir.”

“What do we know about him?” Natalia asked quietly, lowering her head conspiratorially. 

“Nothing,” you replied with a long sigh. “He’s been at the winter palace my whole life.”

“Nothing suspicious about that,” James shrugged and took a swallow of his drink. “Nat, what do ya think about Asgard this time of year?”

“Stop up James,” the redhead nudged her companion and returned her attention to you and Stephen. “And if he doesn’t give up the job in six months?” 

“He is removed,” Stephen replied bluntly.

“Yikes, you’re scary, did you know that?” James murmured. 

“I’ve been told,” the sorcerer grunted, flagging down a barmaid for a drink. He could already tell it was going to be a long night. 

“Don’t forget, you owe me,” you reminded him.  

“Lose a bet?” Natalia asked in amusement, eye rating between the duo.

“I caught him enchanting my tea without permission,” you replied. 

“Uh oh, broke the one rule,” Natalia mused, watching Strange for a reaction. 

“It was a protection spell, hardly worth mentioning, I cast them over the princess all the time,” he snorted under his breath. 

“All the time?” James asked in a voice low enough that only Stephen could hear. 

“That’s dangerous conjecture, Barnes,” Stephen warned. “My responsibilities include keeping my student, who happens to be the princess, safe.”

“If we were being honest, if I were kidnapped or traded away, it wouldn’t do much to the kingdom,” you reasoned, eagerly grabbing the first mug of ale before Stephen could take a sip. He waved a hand over the drink, ensuring it hadn’t been poisoned, before you took a long swallow. “Peter is the one who has to stay safe. Who knows where we’d be without a true heir?”

“You know that’s ridiculous,” Nat snorted. “Gods, you’re so dramatic sometimes.”

“My father’s funeral was today, give me a little sympathy,” you huffed in response, taking another swig of your drink. 

“To King Anthony,” James stood up, his voice bellowing through the pub. You ducked your head down into Stephen’s shoulder while onlookers cheered and joined in the toast. “May he rest in peace!”

The pub shouted in response, with steins clinking against one another and another song starting up. 

“We’re trying to draw attention away from the princess, you oaf,” Natalia muttered tersely toward James. 

“Who would be looking for her here?” the brunette assassin shrugged. “Besides, no one would be able to slip past the three of us.”

Stephen snorted under his breath, giving the room a quick glance to ensure any unwanted attention hadn’t been drawn toward them. James did have a point. Someone in hiding would seldom encourage a room to drink. 

Besides, he looked over at you laughing over something Natalia had said, you were genuinely smiling for the first time in weeks. The risk was worth a little relief.

He nursed at his drink while you signaled for another round for yourself and your friends. Stephen did well to avoid becoming drunk in your presence, mostly for your protection, but also as a means of avoiding embarrassing himself in front of you. 

The last thing he needed was you armed with an artillery of teasing that he couldn’t even recall.

As the booze flowed and the music picked up, James grabbed your hand and pulled you to the center of the room, dancing with some of the villagers to the upbeat song. 

Stephen watched, almost transfixed by the way you spun and twirled so lightheartedly to the sounds. As if you hadn’t a care in the world, and your life was back to the simpler time when he’d first met you.

“You’re drooling a little,” Natalia chuckled over his shoulder. 

Stephen’s head whipped around, unconsciously wiping at his mouth before scowling at the nosy redhead. 

“What are you talking about?” he asked, doing his best to keep his composure under her hard gaze. 

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed of,” she hummed, eyes falling where you and James continued your antics. “You’ve seen the man I’ve dedicated myself to.”

“You know the oaths I have to take,” he murmured. 

“Aren’t you the one in charge of said oaths?” she challenged coyly. “I’d never understood your antiquated ways. I would argue that loving another gives you more reason to stay dedicated to your craft.”

She had a point, Stephen reasoned to himself. The ways he’d worked to ensure your protection, the kingdom’s protection, and the advancement of his knowledge at your urging was beyond any work he’d done on his own at Kamar-Tai. 

Still, the distractions. The liabilities. 

By the Vishanti, if an enemy were to ever get their hands on you… oaths be damned. He’d burn the world to the ground to ensure your safety, and that was the problem.

“She’s going to marry a prince, and have kings and queens as babies,” Stephen replied coolly. "We have our roles and our duties.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind giving her a few babies,” Natalia smirked up at him, laughing when his face went as scarlet as her hair. 

“Regardless,” his voice cracked slightly, adding even more to the embarrassment when Natalia quirked a brow. “I would need permission from the king to consider breaking my oaths and wedding a princess.”

“Oh, you’d marry her? That’s a new development,” she replied, eyes falling behind him while you and James returned. 

“I’m going to need another ale,” you complained, staring down the empty mug after chugging down your second drink.

“You’re going to need to watch how much you drink,” Stephen replied. “Remember last time. The hungover elixir only works so well.”

“You have a hangover elixir?” James asked. “Gods, I’d murder a man for one of those. Maybe it’s time I go to Kamar-Taj. Find my true purpose.”

“Don’t look at me,” Stephen held up a hand. “Wong is the one who brews it. He claims it’s an old family recipe.”

“Might have to pay Master Wong a visit tonight,” James stated, sliding a pair of fresh ales toward you and Natalia. “This one’s on me.”

“Are you going to tell me which lord you stole the coin from?” you asked, sipping at the drink before Stephen could check its contents. 

“It’s the one with the wart on his nose,” James snickered behind his drink. “I picked him specifically because you mentioned he beats his wife.”

“He’s getting another visit from the Widow in a few nights,” Natalia added with a wicked grin.

“I don’t pity the man-,” you started coughing, trying to clear your throat. “-Ah, excuse me-!” 

Caught in a fit of coughs, Stephen’s focus became you. You couldn’t catch a breath, even when he tapped your back, and you hadn’t had anything to eat- the ale. A wave of his hand confirmed the liquid had been tampered with. 

“Find out who served that ale,” he demanded the assassins, grabbing your arm and hauling you outside of the pub. 

You gasped for air, clutching at your throat while he drew up a portal back to the observatory. If this was what was happening with the protection enchantment in your system, he hesitated to think of the alternative. 

Scooping you up, he stepped through and situated you on one of the chaise’s strewn throughout the room. 

He thumbed through his collection of vials before finding a generic antidote and opening your mouth to pour the liquid in. 

It worked- kind of. You were able to take a few shallow breaths, but your eyes rolled back and you collapsed, falling back against the chaise. 

This was literally his worse case scenario. Everything he’d been afraid of, because he’d let you convince him to go out, and because he’d distracted himself with his conversation with Natalia. 

He summoned a spell book, fingers finding the page he recalled from his apprentice days. It was written to purge someone of any toxic entities within them, be it poison or dark magic. Moving his hands through the air and reciting the runes, your body was overtaken by a wisp of winding yellow light. 

It threaded itself through you, eventually hitting the source of the poison in your chest and pulling the toxic liquid free in a cloud of rancid black smoke. That was peculiar. Generally such a reaction was associated with dark magic rather than a consumed poison. 

Poison was usually a dark red or green. 

You stirred the moment the spell had finished its work. Taking a deep breath and clearing your throat, you looked to Stephen in wide-eyed horror.

“I was wrong,” you stated, hand to your chest.

“How do you feel?”

“I’m not dying,” you answered quickly. “Stephen, I am so sorry… I underestimated my… wait, Peter.” 

Stephen understood your meaning immediately. He instructed you to stay within the safety of the observatory and opened a portal to the outside of the prince’s chambers. 

The knights on guard jumped at the sudden appearance of the sorcerer, who took no time for pleasantries.

“An attempt was made on the princess’ life,” he informed the duo. “Have you heard any disturbance from the prince?”

“No one has been in or out since the prince retired,” Sir Samuel informed him, looking to Sir Clinton with a shrug. “He hasn’t made a noise.”

Just as Samuel finished his sentence, there was a loud crash from within the room. 

The guards charged in, finding the prince in a struggle with a masked man. The prince was doing his best to fight off the dagger brandishing assassin, kicking him in the chest when he was distracted by the entrance of the guards.

When the assassin realized he was outnumbered, Stephen saw his hands move rapidly to open a portal, and before anyone could intervene, he was gone. 

“Your highness!” Samuel rushed to the prince’s side while Stephen ignited the candles in the room with a snap of his fingers. “Are you injured?” 

“Sir Clinton, get to the queen and Princess Morgan,” Peter ordered after catching his breath. He looked to Stephen. “And the older princess?” 

“Safe,” came the sorcerer’s response. 

“You said an attempt was made on her life,” Samuel retorted. 

“A what?” Peter glared up at the sorcerer. 

“I took care of it, she is safe,” Stephen assured him. “Are you injured, your highness?”

“I’m fine,” he brushed off the two men and stood up. “I want the guard awoken and informed of what has happened.”

He turned to Stephen.

“I want the wards reconstructed around the castle,” he continued. “I don’t trust the foundations of previous Masters. If you must call in sorcerers from Kamar-Taj, we will provide what they need.”

“Sir, your great uncle is due to arrive in a fortnight,” Samuel reminded him. “Shall we inform the convoy of the attempts on the royal family?”

Peter looked to Stephen with a frown. One of the young king’s first major decisions. 

“Let’s address the question in the morning,” he decided. “I want to know my family is safe.”

As if on cue, Queen Virginia and Princess Morgan were led into the room by Sir Clinton and Sir Steven. 

“Peter,” the queen pulled the prince into a relieved embrace. “Clint told us what had happened.”

“I recommend we reconvene in the throne room,” Steven suggested with a nervous glance around the chambers. 

“The wards are strongest there,” Stephen agreed with a curt nod. “I’ll go retrieve the princess.”

He returned to the observatory and found you sitting, staring down at the floor in deep thought. 

“Princess?” he called softly. You leapt up at his voice, hurrying over.

“Are they safe?”

“Peter was attacked, but he fought the assassin off,” Stephen informed her. 

“And mother? And Morgan?” you bit your bottom lip anxiously.

“Safe,” he confirmed. 

You let out a relieved sigh, your hands trembling slightly at your sides.

“Sir Steven suggested we go to the throne room to discuss our next options,” he offered his arm and she took it gratefully. 

He hoped she didn’t feel his own tremors. His own panic at the thought of losing her. The aftershocks of their new reality and his worst nightmare.

“I won’t allow this to happen again,” he promised her quietly. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” you assured him, your voice was shaky. “I was hurting, and whoever did this, acted on our vulnerabilities. I’d been selfish to hide in the village when I should have been by my family.”

“You slipped up once,” he countered, slowing his pace down the hall. He could have easily drawn a portal to the room, but he figured you both needed some time to manage your emotions. “You’re human. We make mistakes. It just happened we both made a mistake at the same time tonight. I wouldn’t have allowed you to go if I hadn’t been confident in my judgement of the situation.”

Your hand trailed down to his and you gave it a squeeze. 

“Thank you Stephen,” you murmured, holding on a moment longer before replacing it on his arm. 

He felt his heart give a small throb at the minute action, his fingers left tingling, and not from the damage from the accident.

“Always at your pleasure, your highness.”

(---)

3 - a new day

TAG LIST (Message to be added to this fic or my general tag list!):

@ayamenimthiriel @drstrangely-strange-deactivated @ladynothing @im-a-bi-disaster-help​ @idkwhatthisislol​ 

[tsukidrama]

Hi, hi, hi, hi! Pink Anon here, guess who has two thumbs and got COVID-19? This girl. Sorry for going MIA for a while there, it was physically draining to even use my phone! I'm cool now, I feel normal, I'm writing again!

I'm really happy you liked my requests! I'm looking forward to seeing them go to he beach and having some sort of picnic, like I've said they really deserve it. I'm not complaining about the spoilers, I'm waiting to see how it all plays out, especially after last chapter. Boy did it ruin me. Specifically this part, "'I’m not taking a break! I’ve been training this whole time,' Annie pleads, terrified." Made me put my phone down and realize just how severe Annie's trauma really is, holy shit. You really managed to capture that fear perfectly, being scared of your parents/an authority figure. It feels different than other fears, I think. I don't have the most experience with it, but with the little bit I do, it really seems accurate and that's what's really heartbreaking about this chapter. Completely destroyed me.

ah, shit. noooo, i remember what it was like to be sick like that. at one point i don't think i moved out of the same spot for 2 days. i'm glad that you seem to be feeling better now at least! i hope everyone close to you is okay, too.

of course dear! i'll likely do an otbp with a picnic relatively soon, and i'll make them go to the beach in the main TRNT story 💘

it never stops hurting. FUCKK ME. Annie is and always has been the queen of repression - and even if she started thinking about her dad differently and in a positive light after she left on her mission, she still spent 11+ years living with him when he didn't give a shit about her. she's got to have complicated feelings about him but she pushes away the bad thoughts and memories because she wants to be loved so badly. she's so tragic,,, i can fix it for u babey.

both of them are perfectly fine with leaving the past in the past but IT MAKES ME SO MAD. don't get me wrong i love Papa so dearly. probably more than a lot of people do tbh, but it also pisses me off that there's been no plot to address all his unforgivable crimes against baby Annie. writing ch 9 was insane because on one hand i was writing through my own tears, but on the other i kind of felt like Papa gets what he deserves :/

on one hand i kind of hate him and i hope he suffers for the rest of his life but also in TRNT he is genuinely a really positive father figure. but it's MEANT to be extremely conflicting, he is hated for good reason. at this point, TRNT Papa really isn't even the same character anymore, but it's also the only version of him that i'm willing to accept.

"'You can rest. You’ve done perfectly,' he says. '...I have?'" OW. I feel like I've seen other people talk about this line, but god does it hurt a lot. Annie questions Papa twice when he tells her to rest, which really shows just how cemented in her head training was. She wasn't allowed to take breaks, so even when he explicitly tells her she doesn't think she can, she doesn't even know how.

IMMMM SSORRRRYYYY i know, i know. that's why he HAD to be the one to go out and calm her down. nothing that reader could've done would've helped no matter how hard she tried, because Papa was the only one Annie needed comfort from right then.

of course she doesn't know what to do -- she's never taken a moment to just rest for her entire life. even whenever she moves out to the cottage she's still bouncing off the walls and constantly finding projects to distract herself with. she runs from her problems until it literally destroys the heart of the home.

there are like 3 different lines during that scene that hit me in the gut every time. basically everything tbh, but especially all of the spoken dialogue. the bit that personally gets me the most is when they both go quiet, then reader peeks around to see that he's crying and struggling to say "i love you." LIKE BITCH. KILL ME NOW. i'm going to eat glass.

Even how the chapter is ended was amazing(ly sad), I really enjoyed reading the whole thing. When I got the notification, I literally jumped out of my chair. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter, if this is Annie's rock bottom, she can only get better, right? I hope so. Overall, I'm very satisfied. Another utterly devastating chapter, in the best way possible.

the next chapter (10) will mostly be addressing the fallout of what happened in ch 9. some hard conversations that are going to take place in the next couple chapters but i swear to GOD that it doesn't get any worse. it's uphill from here, which is honestly so exciting for me because i never thought this series would grow into what it is.

no way is it going to be worse than this. that mess what all the angst i've been alluding to for months lol. IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT THOUGH, YOUR OPINIONS AND FEEDBACK MEAN SO MUCH TO ME!!!

On another note, I'm not writing as much as I'd like. School, coronavirus, and I'm also joining a soccer team? Out of character, but it is a good distraction. I've been getting into sports lately, so much so that part of me wants to write an Annie x reader where her and the reader are on some sort of team. If I can find the time, of course. I'm just trying to decide what sport she would play.

you don't have to be writing every second of every day! it sounds like you have a lot going on. i'm not too sporty myself but i would absolutely go to your soccer games and cheer for you.

HONESTLY I SWEAR I'M NOT EVEN SAYING THIS BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S YOUR SPORT, BUT SOCCER IS A GOOD ONE. she's fast/small and it's canon that a lot of the fighting she does uses her legs. AND THE UNIFORMS. i support you doing a soccer au for maximum self insert potential. Annie is your soccer gf who always holds your hand on the bus on the way to games. she always runs to you when you're tired or when you've fallen just to make sure you're alright.

my top sport for Annie is always boxing. and another idea that goes hand in hand with this, is illegal cage fighting aksdjfdk, HEAR ME OUT. she's so good that she could make a living off of placing bets on herself. bitch would be the reigning champion, she's a fucking maniac. it also has lots of good potential for fics where her significant other is fussing over her tending to her injuries.

Hm, another song recommendation that fits the fic (by the way I loved the link to Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA, I could totally see the connection, as sad as it is), April Come She Will by Simon and Garfunkel. The soft, summer vibes of the song fit the cottage setting, I think. It's a short song, but one that I love nonetheless.

i actually had a difficult time picking out a song for this chapter. i almost released it with no song at all, but then i had an abba playlist on while doing the dishes or something and next thing i know i'm crying. that song from Papa's POV really hurts in a special, evil type of way, huh? i'm devastated over it.

and re: the song, YOU'RE SO RIGHT. not even just the soft vibe of the song but the lyrics - it reminds me of how things are slowly going askew for them despite both putting forward effort. it's a bit of a sad song with it ending where it does but i definitely agree that it very much fits the vibe, added to my trnt playlist. i just wish that the song went on a little bit longer so things could be fixed lol.

Have a nice day <3,

Pink Anon

you too! and again sorry for the delay i just wanted to have the mental energy to have a good response

[hiimsociallyawkward]

Dear Lara Jean,

HI. so i watched TATBILB: A&F a few weeks ago, and I have some words. Before I begin, i'd like to preface that i'm literally 17 and have no film experience, and that I've read this book once maybe 4 years ago but here it is.

ps. if you haven't gotten it already: there will be spoilers. Heavy spoilers.

first of all, i'm sorry but i really didn't like the little edit things. Maybe I've reached that point in my life where I don't f with that anymore. Like when theres a drawn house and it slowly fades so it's real life?? no thanks

the music choice... I honestly didn't have that big of a problem with it, but my korean friend kept going "wtf is this music choice" so i'm quoting her on that.

the filming and editing. well maybe it's just me but I didn't really like it. yk when you're watching a youtuber and they do those zoom in things and it's sort of fast and funny? I think there were a few times the movie did that and i didn't like it.

literally, lara jean looking directly into the camera?? it feels like it's breaking the 4th wall and maybe they're doing it to be edgy but no thanks i didn't like that either.

WHY???? Her breaking the 4th wall added NOTHING to the movie. It just took me out of the experience. I especially didn’t like it when they did it in PS I still love you when they temporarily broke up.

THEY SET THE MOVIE IN OREGON. WHAT WAS THE REASON. THE BOOK WAS SET IN VA, AND I LIVE IN VA SO I FELT A CONNECTION TO THE BOOK. AND THEN THEY GO AND SET IT IN OREGON. WHAT. WAS. THE. REASON

OREGON DIDN’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE COLLEGES. THEY’RE STILL PRETTY FAR AWAY FROM STANFORD. IN THE BOOK, UVA WAS CLOSE BY SO LJ WOULDN’T HAVE TO BE TOO FAR AWAY FROM HOME. NO OFFENSE TO THE STATE BUT WHY OREGON. THEY COULD OF PUT THEM IN CALI AT LEAST

ONE OF THE REASONS WHY LJ WANTED TO GO TO UVA IS BECAUSE HER FAMILY WOULD BE CLOSE BY. BY PUTTING THEM IN OREGON, YOU TAKE AWAY THAT REASON. i just want to 👊 whoever’s idea this was

FURTHERMORE: THEY CHANGED UVA AND UNC TO STANFORD AND NYU. I AM INFURIATED. THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT THEY WANTED TO GO TO UVA BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE 10 MINS FROM WHERE THEY LIVED AND IT'S A STATE SCHOOL. LARA JEAN FELT LIKE THE WAS GAURANTEED TO GO TO UVA AND WHEN SHE DOESNT, IT ACTUALLY HURTS THE READERS.

in the book, LJ was waitlisted from UNC, rejected from UVA, and accepted to W&M. I’m sure you can find like 40 people at our school who can relate to this situation. I doubt 40 people in our school can relate to being rejected from Stanford BUT accepted to NYU. dear writers, please give teens across the nation (your target audience) realistic expectations for college admissions.

YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT PETER AND LARA JEAN WERE ACTUALLY QUALFIED ENOUGH FOR STANFORD. LEMME JUST SAY, I'VE APPLIED FOR COLLEGES THIS YEAR AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD GRASP ON WHAT IT TAKES TO GET INTO CERTAIN COLLEGES. YOU'RE TELLING ME THE TWO OF THEM. REALLY. GOT. INTO. THOSE. SCHOOLS. pls.

DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE KISSING BOOTH. ELLE AND NOAH ARE POSSIBLY THE DUMBEST CHARACTERS I HAVE EVER WATCHED. I DON’T SEE THEM DO A PAGE OF HOMEWORK AND I DON’T EVEN THINK THEY ATTEND CLASS. LIKE MAKING A KISSING BOOTH FOR ONE FUNDRAISER FOR A CLUB THAT CONSISTS OF 2 PEOPLE DOES NOT COUNT AS ENOUGH TO GET INTO HARVARD. but that’s a different movie...

this is literally the idea that television and movies have in making it super easy to get into ivy leauges. as if some in state college isn't up to society's standards of where or where not it's ok to go to college. it's when gabriella montez goes to stanford, troy goes to berkely, ryan evan goes to julliard, teddy duncan goes to yale, cody martin is accepted to princeton, HANNAH MONTANA does to stanford.

and lara jean wants to study english lit. she never says “i want to go to stanford because of their great english lit program”. it’s only “i want to go to stanford because my boyfriend is going and i have no other life outside of him

fine. make your characters seem awesome by making them go to awesome colleges. but still. this is upseting.

you know how awesome it is to hear UVA, the college I've always wanted to go to, in a published book? and for them to just rip it away- espeically when UVA is so attainable?? Yea yea movie directors, i get it, UVA isn't good enough for you. whatever.

They had AT LEAST 5 MONTAGES. 5. FIVE. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY MONTAGES. To quote my friend "the movie is all montage and 30 mins of plot" AND I CAN'T FIND IT IN MYSELF TO DISAGREE WITH HER.

AND THE DANCES. I REALLY DIDN’T NEED TO SEE NOAH CENTINEO DO WHATEVER HE CALLS “DANCING” IN 2 MONTAGES. I know everyone fell in love with noah in the first movie, but i’m pretty sure everyone fell out of love with him in this one.

again, i know nothing about movies, but 5 montages?? it seems like you're just filling space and trying to make everything seem ✨awesome✨ and ✨amazing✨. SURE. everything might be awesome and amazing, but this movie was 1 HR AND 55 MINS. and you decided to add 1 HR of montages? WHy. AND. one of them was in slowmo. i can't

THEY HAD VOICE OVERS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE MOVIE. sure. 1 at the begin and 1 at the end, I think that's cute. BUT THE WHOLE MOVIE?? WHY. like bruh- have a focus.

literally did anyone read the freaking book? Remember how- in the book right? Margot was actually really not ok with Trina bc she's sort of replacing their mom? and Margot is rlly not ok with it but gets over it?? see how that was summarized in like 5 seconds in the movie? Oh i'm sorry you used all your time for the movie making STUPID MONTAGES but can we get some actually emotionally beats next time?? thanks.

ok this is a big problem i have with the movie. in the 3rd book, peter tries to have a relationship with his dad who ran away from him years ago. He struggles with that relationship the whole book. This is good stuff. people can relate to this. the scene in the diner where peter “confronts” his dad was CRINGEY. It could be noah’s acting but i couldn’t take him seriously. AND HE FORGIVES HIS DAD AFTER 30 SECONDS. the movie tries to include these smaller storylines but can’t because of the time limit. i’m no screenwriter, but i’m sure there could have been a way to subtly move that plot line during the entire movie rather than that one conversation in the diner

and in the book, peter has to train for lacrosse so he has to eat healthy which stresses him out. i specifically remember him getting mad at someone (maybe it was john ambrose, i don’t remember fully) for EATING HIS CARROTS. this just shows that peter has a life too. he has to worry about lacrosse along with losing lj. but no, the movie makes him look like the perfect boyfriend who has no other worries in life except for the girl in front of him

remember how- in the book (right?? bc they had a book to go off of???) Stormy was a part of the 3rd book? like a BIG part?? They LITEALLY just used her as John Ambrose's grandmother (WHICH IM PRETTY SURE THEY DIDN'T EVEN DO IN THE MOVIES). literally, stormy and john ambrose were throw away characters in the second movie and i am infurriated. BUT ALSO I LOVE JOHN AMBROSE HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO HIM??

and remember, how in the book, how the dog's name is "Jamie Fox-Pickle" and they changed it to HENRY??? where is the flavor. what was the reason. SERIOUSLY.

BUT ALSO. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT THERE WAS A POINT IN THE PLOT WHERE PETER'S MOM TOLD LARA JEAN TO BREAK UP WITH PETER. DOES NO ONE ELSE REMEBER THAT?? AND THEY CUT IT ALL OUT OF THE SCRIPT?? LIKE WHY. WHAT WAS THE REASON.

ok those are my biggest book grievances I think. but lemme just say, they NEVER went to NEW YORK. They literally wrote that in for the purposes of NYU. in the book, Chris and Lara Jean DRIVE to UNC because that's ATTAINABLE. BC THEY'RE STATE UNIVERSITIES. ANYWAYS

LJ’s and Chris’s spontaneous trip to unc showed their friendship in a good way. I never really liked chris as a friend to lj but during the trip, they are besties and it shows. the movie tries to do that in ny but peter is also in ny for some reason. she should have fell in love with ny WITHOUT peter at her side nagging her to sneak out and go on a date. she should have spent more time with chris rather than thinking about peter while she was watching the band.

the scene where Lara Jean is in New York and at the party and she sees the band? To all the boys I've loved before: Always and forever?? more like To all the boys I've loved before: gay awakening time.

when they moved the pink couch to the subway? WHy? They wanted snazzy pics.

when Lara Jean and Peter were making up and it was a really cute sequence AND THEN THEY MADE HER LOSE HER V CARD. FINE. I GET HOW THAT'S REALISTIC BUT IT WAS A CUTE SCENE. MY FRIEND ALMOST STARTED CRYING AND THEN LJ LOST HER V CARD AND WE COULDN'T STOP SCREAMING.

this is different from what was in the book (for the 100th time). In the book, they don’t do it and it shows that you can be in a high school relationship without being physical. I strongly appreciate that message. This darn movie had to have her lose her v card. WHY. IT ADDED NOTHING TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THE YEARBOOK SIGNING WAS SYMBOLIC ENOUGH

the montage where it's a montage of all of lara jean's and peter's cute moments?? ok fine. that was cute. but they literally just took scenes from past movies. imagine the impact if we like hidden moments from their relationships. maybe they're laughing in the car together. maybe they're watching they sunset. maybe peter is looking at her lovingly while she sleeps. WHAT IF. it WASN'T a montage of all the "bigger" moments of their relationship, and we got to see them just exist.

UGH. THE VOICE OVER AT THE END OF THE MOVIE IS SO CRINGEY I CAN'T

"WE AREN'T LIKE OTHER COUPLES. NOT US, LARA JEAN AND PETER KAVINSKY. BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING BETWEEN US. WRITING LOVE LETTERS" please. b freaking s

Some redeemable qualities

while i didn't like most of the songs, "like me better" by lauv will always be loved. especially since it's a call back from the first movie?? I can ftw

WHY WASN’T “LIKE ME BETTER” THEIR SONG???? I really thought it was a good song to be their song and they referenced it in the beginning. No offense to the “beginning middle and end” people, but i felt no attachment to that song.

they customized her phone. it looked like it was a 7 (idk rlly, i don't know crap abt iphones) but they customized it. Granted, I KNOW lara jean would be the one with the aesthetic background with color coded folder, but still- they did give her relevant apps. some to note include; tiktok, spotify, instagram, netflix, notes, messages, facetime, maps, whatsapp and the STANFORD APP?? whatever- i'm chill.

they did make lara jean make choices so that was good.

the prom ask?? That was cute. with the pancakes??

at the end when Peter played the song even though earlier he didn't like it?? I liked that. i liked that a lot. ok fine i more than liked that a lot. There are multiple texts where my friends are screaming at each other. In fact, 26 separate messages.

chris in general. granted, she was more present in the books, but i'll take what i can get.

some notable quotes by her, the queen

"I'm dead inside"

not wanting to do a gigantic walk down from the stairs and asking the boys not to turn around

peter said he liked lara jean's forehead kisses and that reminded me of emma chamberlain so that's a positive only bc of emma

I remembered that they were the class of 2021, and I'M class of 2021 and it just hit for a second.

my friend cried over their graduation but i felt nothing bc we're literally living in a pandemic and chances of me getting a real graduation?? we'll see

again, these are all just my opinion. my friend doesn't like the movie bc she says she's sad and bitter and seeing these cute couples makes her feel lonely but i'm just diappointed. the books were GOOD. they were gold.

there was so much they could’ve done with the movies, and i just feel like they didn’t deliver on anything. Jenny Han, i’m sorry. The movie overall, ik someone who cried about it and someone else who gave it 7/10. props for them but jeez i just wish for more.

ok but that’s the show folk. i mean, obviously everything i said was opinion and literally don’t listen to anything i’ve said. BUT. feel free to add what you hated or loved abt the movie too. thanks. i love you guys. “always and forever” :,)

p.s- omg not them ripping off taylor swift. jk jk. ok bye

[taylorinthetardis]

Wallflowers - A Henry Cavill x Reader fic

So I did a thing! Rather than continue to work on my larger, more complicated Pride and Prejudice fic, I decided to make a fanfic out of the fantasy I had at work the other day!

There will most likely be a part two to this, I just thought I was at a good stopping point and wanted to see what you guys thought about it.

Full disclosure: I didn’t mean for this to whole ass turn into a Bath and Body Works ad, but it kinda did. For those of you reading in countries that do not have Bath and Body Works, its basically just a body and home care store. In the US their scents are legendary. Pretty much every young girl went through a BBW phase where that was all they used for soap and perfume. That all being said, in the interest of further disclosure and covering my ass, I own neither Bath and Body Works nor any of the trademarks on the scents listed herein. I also do not own Henry Cavill because owning human beings is a crime.

This is my first Henry fic so be gentle with me! It’s a bit longer than I had anticipated and un-beta’d.

Warnings: just a lot of fluff. some self-deprecation. loads of swearing. don’t know if I should warn for slight bashing of the religious but I will anyway so no one gets mad at me.

Wallflowers

It was shaping up to be another boring ass day at Bath and Body Works. I had started working here during the Pandemic after I was laid off from my job at the movie theatre. I had planned on it only being temporary, but even after things got better and I got my theatre job back, I decided to stick around. What can I say; a bitch is broke. Nothing wrong with double-dipping.

There was something about Sunday mornings in the mall. Probably because people around here still went to church in the mornings. Like it matters. Sunday mornings are always so slow, here and at the theatre, but the day always picks up after 1, when morning church services finish. It was me and Samantha up in the front room this morning, working out the leftover boxes from yesterday’s shipment. She was one of the first people I really bonded with here, both of us being super into both Marvel and DC, specifically Sebastian Stan and Henry Cavill. They had just started filming the next Superman movie and they were going to be shooting scenes up in Michigan again, like they had for Dawn of Justice.

“I’m just saying, we should really consider asking for a few days off and just going up there and scoping it out. I mean, it’s Henry fucking Cavill. He’s less than an hour away from us. Right now. Less than an hour. When is that ever gonna happen again? I can use some of my vacation time at the theatre, so at least I’m not missing out on money from them. It’ll be a blast. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? We don’t see him? I mean at least we’d have tried. I’d rather try than stay down in stupid Ohio with the knowledge that he’s that close.”

“Do you really think Ann’s going to give us time off to stalk Superman?”

“We ain’t gonna tell her what it’s for! Just lie, c’mon now.” I laughed. I dropped a box of Gingham body cream into the understock drawer and broke the box down. Out of the corner of my eye I caught movement, oh goodie, a customer. Samantha was quicker to greet them.

“Welcome to Bath and Body… OH MY GOD!” I turned around and was met with the sight of none other than Henry fucking Cavill, sheepishly running his hand through his now jet-black curls, obviously embarrassed at having been recognized. Damn, am I glad I put make-up on this morning. Alright Y/N, this is your fucking chance. For once in your damn life, be fucking cool. You can do this. You look good, you smell like Champagne Toast, you’ve got this. I pulled my hair down from its messy bun and shook it out a bit before walking over to where Samantha was still trying to collect herself. The store radio started playing Halsey’s Bad at Love and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from bursting out laughing at the absurdity of the situation we were now in. Not five minutes ago we were talking about seeking him out and now here he was in all his brick-shithouse-ness. I looped my arm through Samantha’s in a show of support.

“What a wonderful coincidence! We were just talking about you and now here you are! It’s crazy how the universe works, isn’t it? I’m Y/N, this is Samantha; what can we help you with today, Henry?” I smiled my most adorable smile at him, the one that makes my little cheek dimple pop out, and, honestly, they both looked shocked. Samantha was clearly surprised that I was more capable of speech than she was, and to be honest so was I, and Henry seemed shocked that I would openly admit that we had been talking about him before he got there, which probably wasn’t a great thing to say, but I panicked.  

“Well, I was told this was the best place to go for candles and air freshener-y type things. The house I’m renting just has this odd odour that I can’t get rid of. I’ve been airing it out during the day, all the windows open, and I come home and it still smells funky. I know I could just find a different place, but it’s close to a park and that’s been nice for Kal and I don’t want to make a fuss, so…” Henry sort of shrugged, the buttons on his plaid shirt straining with the movement of his broad shoulders, and gestured around the store as if to say “that’s why I’m here”.

“Well, you’ve definitely come to the right place. All of our home care is in the second room, grab a basket, I’m sure we can find you some scents you’ll like.” He walked over to the basket tower to grab one as a couple more customers walked in. Samantha nudged me towards the second room; I was going to have to handle Henry alone for now, it seemed. He followed me over to the Wallflower wall. “So, these are our Wallflowers. They’re sort of like the Glade Plug-ins, I don’t know if you’ve seen those, you plug this diffuser into any power outlet and screw the fragrance bulb in and it diffuses the scented oil into the room. They last for about a month or so. These’ll probably be the best option for you, well these and maybe a room spray or two to start with. The candles are good, but obviously the scent is gonna be strongest when they’re burning and it’s probably not a great idea to light a bunch of candles and then leave for the whole day.”

He chuckled. “No, I’d say you’re right about that. I definitely don’t want to burn the place to the ground. Are there any scents that you’d recommend?”

“Well, I mean, it obviously all depends on your personal preferences. I like sweet scents. I like my space to be smelling like a bakery or a candy shop at all times, so I tend to go for anything like that. We actually still have some of our holiday scents that we’re trying to get rid of and there’s this really great one in that line called Spiced Apple Toddy. It smells like apple pie. I love it. It’s only out during fall and winter so I stocked up. I need it all year long, honestly. I still have so many other scents at home, but like I’m probably never gonna get sick of it, for real, it smells so good. Or I might go every other month swapping between that and Black Cherry Merlot because that’s awesome too. And then there’s Champagne Toast, I mean, that one might be a bit too feminine for you, but I love it. It’s sweet and just a tiny bit citrusy. I can’t do any of the floral or like, outdoorsy scents, they set my allergies off. And honestly there’s some of these that I smell them and I’m like, who is putting this in their house? Like, what nutjob thinks this scent is good? How many people have senses of smell that are this screwed up?” At this point I was rambling, talking excitedly and with my hands, handing him testers to smell and trying to gauge his reactions to know what to hand him next. He didn’t have any bad reactions to anything I gave him until I handed him the tester for Fresh Balsam. His nose scrunched up in the most adorable way and he very carefully set the tester down on the counter as far from him as he could manage. He handled my word-vomit good-naturedly, with a small smile on his face, nodding and chuckling when he thought something I had said was funny. Our fingers brushed a few times as I handed him the testers and after the third time, I began to feel like it was deliberate on his part, but it couldn’t have been, could it? He couldn’t really be interested in me. He’s Henry Cavill. I’m just, well, I’m just me.

Me, with my two minimum wage jobs, still living with my parents, inching ever closer to 30 years old. Why would he want any of that? Why would he be interested in me physically either? I mean, he’s literally flawless and I’m short, overweight, I eat like shit, I don’t exercise, hell, I barely know how to put on make-up correctly. Yeah, I look good today, but that’s not par-for-the-course.    

He put a few each of Cinnamon & Clove Buds, Black Cherry Merlot, Limoncello (for the bathrooms, he said), and Laundry Day (for the laundry room, obviously) in his basket along with enough of the plugs so he’d have one in each room. He also grabbed a Black Cherry Merlot and a Limoncello room spray off the shelf next to the Wallflower display before turning back to me. “So then, where do you keep this Spiced Apple Toddy that you like so much, or did you hide them so you could have them all to yourself?”

I chuckled nervously and ran my hand through my hair, sort of disbelieving that he was actually paying attention to what I had said. Boys never listen to me when I talk, I always have to repeat myself, but I guess that’s because I usually end up talking to the dumb ones. Henry’s not dumb. He really is just fucking perfect, isn’t he? Pretty and he listens? That shouldn’t be such a difficult combination to find, but for me it had been. “They’re on the table over here with the rest of our leftover Christmas stuff. Hopefully the tester is still there somewhere.” I put my hands in my apron pockets and I could feel the jolt of confidence I had had just minutes before leaving my body. His charm had worn me down, bringing me back to my normal, anxiety-ridden self. I caught the toe of my boot on the corner of one of the other tables as we walked towards the center of the room. I stumbled, but before I could fall his arm was already out to steady me, wrapping around my waist to keep me upright.

“Are you alright Y/N?” A look of genuine concern was on his face and I swear to God I swooned. Like, fuck, I just stubbed my stupid toe, it’s not that serious. I mean yeah, I stubbed my toe and then almost fell into a table covered with candles in glass holders, but like, I didn’t fall, you caught me, please stop looking at me like you care. You can’t give me that much hope. It isn’t fair. And goddamnit I love the way my name sounds coming out of your mouth. Like, fuck it’s never sounded so good. This isn’t fair, why is this happening?

“Yeah, Henry I’m fine, just a stubbed toe. Thank you for…you know.” I gestured down to his arm, which was still around my waist. The sound of me bumping into the table drew the attention of the rest of my co-workers, however, who were now coming out of their various positions to see what was going on and to make sure no one had broken anything. Samantha popped her head in from the front room and Kelynn and Mira came out from the cashwrap with Pilar and walked to the edge of the third room to peek in. All they saw was me, blushing profusely, with Henry Cavill’s beefy-ass arm still wrapped around my fucking waist. “Everything’s fine guys. I promise.”

“Holy shit, is that…”

“Mira!”

“But Kelynn that’s fucking Superman!”

“You can’t cuss in front of him Mira, he’s a customer!”

“Will you guys cut it out? You’re embarrassing us in front of the hunky British dude!”

“Hey, I’ve got an idea. How about we all pretend like this isn’t happening right now? Pilar can go back to the cashwrap, you two can go back to whatever it was you were doing, and I’ll go back to what I was doing, namely making a damn sale!” I extricated myself from Henry’s grasp so I could shoo them back towards the cashwrap. They turned and walked away, bewildered looks on their faces. I turned back to Henry who was shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his curls, leaving them messier than they were before. An errant one fell over his forehead and I wanted to brush it out of the way, but he just left it.

I walked over to the table that I was originally heading for and found the Spiced Apple Toddy Wallflowers. There wasn’t that many left, but there was still a tester. I grabbed it and spun around to bring it to him, assuming he hadn’t followed me, but as I turned, I found myself going face first into his massive chest. I put my unoccupied hand up to steady myself and pushed on his chest to force him back. He was just too close. Why was he so close? He opened his mouth to say something but I beat him to it. “Here. This is what I have in my bedroom right now, this is Spiced Apple Toddy.” Oh god, why did I say it like that? The one I have in my bedroom. Jesus Christ. He quirked his eyebrow at me and cocked his head to the side, smirking a little. Instead of taking the tester from me, he took my much smaller hand in his, guiding it up towards his face so the tester was close to his nose. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. A serene smile spread across his face and I felt my face get hotter. He opened his eyes, looking down into mine. Fuck I could drown in those ocean eyes.

“Oh, I like that very much. You were right. I think that one’s my favourite.”

[softyoongiionly]

In My Calvins 💼

Mondays suck. Mondays with your boyfriend suck less.

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Domestic!, Model! Taehyung, kind of? Sub! Taehyung, smut

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Taehyung frequently ruins my life so, I’m dragging you all into my misery. Love you!

Warnings: smut, language aka TAEHYUNG IS A DIRTY DIRTY BOY

Mondays.

The worst day of the week.

Honestly, like who even allowed Monday’s to happen? Who signed off on that shit? You didn’t want to fight…you just wanted to talk. Mondays had gotten increasingly worse over the last few months because, you had started your new job and, on Mondays…they wanted you to come in early.

Early!

On a fucking Monday.

The audacity.

Early as in, 5am.

5…in the fucking…morning…on a Monday.

This was the opposite of ideal.

The thing is, you loved your job. You really did. The 4 years of college, 5 months of job hunting and, 3 month interview process was totally worth it. You were in a place in life where you finally felt as though you were doing what you wanted to do.

Aside from your job, you also procured an amazing condo in the nicer part of town aka the part of town you only ventured into in your dreams. Big open windows lined the walls, giving you a breathtaking view of the skyline, modern appliances were nestled in your kitchen which was complete with marble countertops and a fancy trash compacter. The rest of the apartment had been co-decorated by you and your boyfriend Taehyung.

You had met Taehyung at an art gallery nearly three years ago and, the two of you bonded over your mutual love for cheap diner food and expensive artwork.  Falling in love had occurred much faster than you expected. Taehyung’s sense of humor and, desire to speak endlessly about the complexity of the world around him had won you over almost instantly and, the chemistry between the two of you was, according to your close friends, palpable in every sense of the word. Taehyung was a walking contradiction, one second, you were convinced he had discovered the secret to immortality and, was actually born in 1728 and the next second, you were begging him to wait until after dinner before indulging in the ice cream you had come with. The point is, he was everything all wrapped into one:  sensitive and strong, childlike and wise beyond his years, goofy and refined, all at the same time.

And, my god, was he gorgeous.

Like, so fucking gorgeous that it actually offended you sometimes.

So, it was no surprise to you when he was scouted one day while the two of you were out grocery shopping. The agent worked for quite a prestigious agency and, after some time, she had convinced Taehyung to submit a few headshots to her recruiter; headshots that the two of you took on your old DSLR in front of your windows during the golden hour. The mini photo shoot had ended with the two of you fucking in front of said windows for the better part of the night. At least, you lived on the 81st floor right?

Needless to say, the headshots were a success and, after a few magazine campaigns, Taehyung’s career had taken off. For the better part of last year, he was travelling constantly, so much so, that the two of you hardly say each other. You were, of course, very supportive of his career and, wanted nothing but the best for him. However, you missed each other like crazy. You spent nearly a year living together and, suddenly he was just gone all the time. Sometimes, you would go with him but, most of the time, your previous job/job hunting kept you tied down to the city. Earlier this year, Taehyung had decided enough was enough, modelling was something he loved, yes but, he couldn’t stand being away from you constantly. His agency understood and, now, only requires him to travel during a few of the major fashion weeks throughout the year. Taehyung still models in designer brand campaigns and, often times, brands will send their photographers into the city, specifically to work with your boyfriend.

You couldn’t blame them. He was a literal work of art.

Since his career shift, life had become pretty domestic between the two of you. Date nights, weekend trips, home cooked meals, stupid fights over whose turn it was to clean the bathroom; life really couldn’t have been any better.

However, today was still Monday. Mondays still suck and, this one sucked even more because, you had trouble sleeping the night before. Nine and half hours of work on two and a half hours of sleep was bad day that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy and, yet here you were, jittery and exhausted on the cab ride home. You had doubled up on the espresso this morning but, all it really did was make you feel anxious and sleepy at the same time.

Misery.

You trudged through the front door of your condo, messenger bag across your body, empty coffee mug in hand, only to be greeted by silence. There was a bit of disappointment in your stomach as you had a feeling that your boyfriend might not have finished up his photoshoot. After the day you just had, you were really looking forward to his company. With a long drawn out sigh you placed your things on the countertop and, headed into your bedroom. It was there that you were greeted by the sight of your sleeping boyfriend.  Sandy blonde hair splayed out on the pillowcase as the duvet hung off of his hips, his bare back, broad and exposed to the rest of the room. The sight was heavenly and, you could literally feel your lids grow heavier at the thought of snuggling against his warm, tanned skin.

After shedding your work clothes, you pulled on a tank top and a pair of thin sleep shorts. The room was cooled by the powerful breeze of the standing fan but, you knew very well, that your radiator of a boyfriend, would have no problem keeping you warm. You pulled back the covers before slipping underneath them, shifting carefully in the direction of a sleeping Taehyung.  As your skin makes contact with his, you sigh out in relief, as if his presence alone was soothing you.

“Rough day?”

Your boyfriends ragged voice rumbling beside you, startles you and, he chuckles as you let out a squeak, face whipping towards him. Your greeted with Taehyung’s boxy smile, obscured slightly by the material of the pillow and, his cunning gaze, his disheveled blonde hair messily framing his face.

“I thought you were sleeping.” You whisper and, you weren’t sure why, something about Taehyung’s voice causing you to keep quiet.

“I was, until you came in.” He smirks, eyes full of fondness as he shuffles closer to you, bringing the blanket up from his hips and, over your shoulders.

You welcome his closeness, a frown on your face, your lips pouted slightly.

“I’m sorry I woke you, I was trying to be quiet.” You regret, wrapping your arm around his bare waist, securing yourself against him.

The motion causes Taehyung to smile, his nose nudging against yours before his soft lips lean to press against yours. The kiss is slightly more heated than you expect but, you reciprocate none the less, your hand squeezing lightly against his waist. He chuckles into your lips, wiggling lightly at your touch before deepening the kiss, his tongue brushing across your bottom lip, requesting entry.

“Your makeup looks pretty today…” He mumbles against your mouth, his hand slipping under the material of your tank top, fingers lightly tickling the skin there. “Is it ok if I fuck it up?”

His question throws you off and, you pull away from the kiss, brows rising as you giggle.

“What do you mean?”

He smirks, his eyes darkening as he sits up, positioning himself between your legs. It was then, that you notice the white Calvin Klein’s hugging his caramel colored hips. The definition in his stomach made your mouth water but, coupled with his choice in attire and his shaggy blonde hair that reached the nape of this neck, you felt like you could literally die.

It was moments like these that you wondered what in the world you did to get so lucky.

Taehyung shrugs, his big hands coming up to rest on your knees, “Your eyes tend to water when I eat your pussy…”

His words make your clit throb in your shorts and, you feel your throat growing dry as you try to calm yourself. You feel goosebumps collecting on the sides of your thighs and, on the back of your arms, Taehyung’s baritone voice sending you into a frenzy.

But you attempt to keep calm none the less…

“Who said anything about you eating my pussy?” You retort, brows rose in defiance. After all, he usually asks permission.

Taehyung chuckles and, his cocky because, he knows for a fact you would never pass up his mouth, especially because, he doesn’t give it to you nearly as often as he would like to.

“You had a rough day yeah? Don’t you think it would get a lot better with my tongue on your clit?”

Another throb occurs in your shorts then and, you can feel your entrance contracting as you grow more and more aroused.

“I had a rough day too babe and, I know for fact, the only thing that will improve my mood is if your cunt was in my face.”

Fuck, he was filthy.

“I-“ You weren’t one to be speechless but, your overwhelming arousal and, lingering exhaustion caused your brain to go foggy. All you could feel was desire.

Taehyung smirks again, his body lowering so his lips were kissing at your knees, his hands slowly spreading your legs, wet lips trailing over your heated skin all the while. His eyes lock onto yours, hunger in them as he starts kissing and sucking up your right leg.

“What’s gotten into you today…” You breathe out, eyes threatening to roll back as he sucks against a sensitive spot on your inner thigh.

The vibration of his voice causes your shorts to dampen and, you feel your heart quickening in anticipation.

“You’ve been working so hard Jagi…” He murmurs, nose trailing up the cuff of your shorts, a drunken smirk on his face. “I wanna make you feel better.”

He’s kissing at the junction of your thighs now, alternating between kissing your skin softly and pulling it between his teeth, the latter making it harder to keep quiet.

“Can I jagi?” The question is asked against your pussy now, your pajama shorts being the only thing separating you and his mouth. He flits his eyes to yours, the cocky smirk still prominent on his face. “Can I eat your sweet little cunt?”

You didn’t have it in you to bite back anymore. Normally, you would have made it harder for him, you would have resisted more but, today was different. Today you were spent and, you need him more than you could possibly articulate.

“Yeah…” The voice that passes your lips is small and, nearing a whimper, bracing yourself for what’s to come.

Taehyung’s brown eye flash victorious for a moment before he leans back and, hooks his fingers into the band of your shorts, ignoring the throbbing of his dick as he hears the desperation in your voice.

He lets out the breath he was holding as he takes in the sight of what’s between your legs. You’re swollen and wet and, he could hardly control himself as he begins dragging his tongue slowly up the length of your pussy, the tip of his tongue barely probing between your lips. The feeling sends a shiver up your spine and, you arch slightly towards his mouth.

“Your clit is throbbing…I can feel it…can I lick on it Jagi? Please?” Taehyungs accent is growing thicker as the taste of you hits his tongue. It’s taking everything in him not to bury his face between your legs.

“That’s what I like isn’t it?” You retort, smirking softly, trying to get a grip on yourself.

Taehyung’s brows go up in surprise as he looks up towards you, a teasing smirk on his face.

“I know what you fucking like you little shit…” He chuckles, biting your thigh in retaliation, causing a giggle to erupt from your throat. “I’m trying to be polite…isn’t that what good boys do mistress?”

The name he uses sends another pulse into your clit. The two of you had decided to spice things up recently, not out of necessity or anything but, just out of curiosity. You had dabbled in BDSM and, you were pleasantly surprised at how quickly Taehyung slipped into a submissive role. The most recent encounter occurred after he had been acting like an ass for most of the day and, you decided the best remedy was tying him up and fucking him until he couldn’t see straight anymore. It was very effective.

“You’re right…keeping showing me what a good boy you are then…” You suggest and, Taehyung feels another throb in his boxers at the return of his favorite nickname.

“Yes mam”

He dives in then, tongue pushing its way past the sticky lips of your pussy, quickly finding your swollen clit. He’s licking against it, nose buried against you, hands bracing against your thighs holding them open. The tension from your day coupled with Taehyung’s teasing were not going to allow you to last long, the sinking feeling already building up in your stomach.

Taehyung’s tongue licked on either side of your clit, lips pursing around it, sucking it into his mouth momentarily before, continuing to lick on it. The feeling made your toes tingle, it made you feel completely helpless. You couldn’t move, you just laid there, legs spread, pussy drenched, taking everything he was giving you.

“I’m a good boy aren’t I mistress? Eating your cunt after a long day…” Taehyung’s voice holds the same amount of arrogance but, its renewed slightly with desperation, his darkening eyes staring into yours.

You just nod eagerly, breath shortening with each motion of his lips against your pussy. You’re trying to catch your breath, fingers clutching against the duvet that lay underneath you. Taehyung moves down to lick at your entrance, tongue teasing at the wet skin, lush lips sucking against it lightly.

“You have no right jagi...” He groans against your cunt, hands on either side of your thighs, holding them open. “...no right to have a pussy this good.”

Teeth are gnawing at your lip, trying to refrain from screaming out, your heart throbbing in your chest. Your pussy tightening and contracting against your boyfriends talented mouth.

You feel his fingers then, long and nimble, circling your entrance, a devilish smile being shot your way from between your legs.

“Can I put my fingers in here mistress?” His voice is arrogant but, his eyes hold the slightest amount of adoration, secretly desperate to please you.

All you can do is nod as the goosebumps continue to collect all over your skin, the breeze from the standing fan not helping. Taehyung smirks, wasting no time as he tucks two of his fingers inside of you, pressing firmly against the mound of tissue that’s bound to drive you crazy.

Your breath is caught in your throat and, you feel the tension in your stomach increasing, your cunt tingling as Taehyung begins licking at your clit again. His fingers are steady as they rock inside of you, rubbing against your g-spot. You are normally one for stamina but, today is not the day. Taehyung groans against you as you tangle your fingers in his blonde mane, tugging harder as he sucks at your clit.

Its all too much, its overwhelming you, there's a deep, sickening, pleasure curling up inside of you and it’s about ready to snap.

“I’m gonna cum...” Your voice is barely above a whisper as euphoria washes over you, your back arching, your nipples hardening. All of the tension melting away as your boyfriend helps you through your orgasm. You feel more wetness that normal between your legs but, you can't find in you to care. It’s your turn to do the laundry anyhow.

Taehyung doesn't miss a beat, he slowly slides his fingers out, hunger in his eyes as he sucks them dry, dark eyes holding yours all the while. He smirks as places kisses all over your pussy, nibbling on your inner thighs, causing you to giggle.

“You came a lot...” He mumbles drunkenly, still smirking as he starts kissing his way up your body.

“You play dirty...” You retort, eyes fluttering as you feel his hardened dick rub against your sensitive pussy.

He chuckles, his still swimming with lust as he leans into your lips, “Is there any other way to play jagi?”

damn him, always wanting dessert before dinner.

[jennifersylvesters]

not so subtle - part eleven

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x reader Word Count: 4 k~ Warning: swearing A/N: surprise, bitch. i bet you’d thought you’d seen the last of me. happy osterfield october! cheers to that and cheers to it apparently being a mcfrickin’ year since i posted the bullet points for “not so subtle” and conned y’all into reading. feedback is always appreciated ~

You should’ve gone after him. You should’ve flung yourself into his arms. You should’ve kissed him the way he kissed you. You should’ve told him something, anything. 

You should’ve gone to the Bahamas and told him how you felt. You should’ve laid it all on the line, telling him how no one could hold a candle to the light he ignited. How could they when Harrison orbited your thoughts?

You should’ve done a grand romantic gesture. You should’ve serenaded him in front of thousands of people. Okay, maybe bring the number to double digits. No way you’d perform with that many people around. You should’ve set up a room with an exorbitant amount of candles before confessing your feelings. You should’ve shown him how much you cared, how much he meant. 

But you didn’t. And maybe that was the problem.

Instead you stood drenched in the rain wondering what all of it meant. You replayed the scene over and over, so caught up in your thoughts that you hadn’t noticed hours pass by. 

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that you found yourself sick, completely congested and downright miserable. The mountain of used tissues seemed to grow along with your headache. No way in hell you could fly when you could barely make it to the bathroom without a dizzy spell. 

“I can’t do it, Ems” you whimpered on the phone before letting coughing violently. Goodbye lung one. “I’m literally dying here.”

“You’re seriously not going to come with us?” You knew how much Emma had been looking forward to this trip, and your sickness had thrown a wrench in her plans. Despite trying to suppress her irritation, you heard it laced in her tone. You would’ve done anything for your best friend, but there was no way in hell you were going to the Bahamas.

“Emma, I can’t” you groaned as you blew your nose loudly. 

“We were looking forward to this-” 

Someone cut Emma off, filling your ear with muffled noise. In the background you heard her toss around the words “sick”, “cancel” and “true love”. You weren’t sure what to make of that.

Emma returned to the line, clearing her throat before stating briskly “Fine. Tom said he hopes you feel better.” You mumbled a thanks, grateful he managed to convince your best friend to drop the matter. “I still think you should go, but he says this might make it worse.” 

“I’m really sorry, Ems” you apologized. “You know I wanna go. I just don’t wanna throw up on the plane and ruin everyone’s vacation.” 

“Hey. I know you do” her voice softened slightly. “Get better soon, okay?” 

With a final cough and a “have fun”, you hung up and collapsed back to bed.

Rather than enjoying sunny island fun, Kimberly insisted you road trip with her and Sarah down to her cabin. You could recover better with people watching over you instead of cooped up in the apartment. Off to grandmother’s house Kimberly’s cabin we go. 

The drive consisted of you in the back seat attempting to sweat out your fever while the other two sang along to the radio. Let the girlfriends have their fun while you died in the back seat. 

When you arrived at Kimberly’s cabin, her mother smothered you with love and medicine. She doted on you as if you were her own, making sure that you immediately went to bed and only called you when it was time to eat. 

By the time you recovered, only a couple days of spring break were left. You wanted to make the most of it though you weren’t much for outdoor activities. It didn’t help that this vacation was clearly meant to be alone time for Sarah and Kimberly. There they were, enjoying one another’s company while you third wheeled. They insisted they didn’t mind but you knew better. 

Thank god for Kimberly’s brother, Ryan. He was a good, friendly distraction from the couple. The two of you could hang out separately without imposing on your friends. You enjoyed how he marveled over you knowing actual celebrities. No need to include details of you fainting from merely being in the presence of some. 

Still, you couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if you went to the Bahamas. Would you be soaking up the sun? Running around the beach? Maybe even posting cheesy tourist photos? Perhaps you’d be kissing someone special under the starry sky, interlacing your fingers together as you agreed this was your sacred place - the place where you admitted your love. 

Haha. Huge sike. 

That, of course, was purely imagination. Instead your reality consisted of getting over colds and exploring nature. The only evidence of your fun was a singular photo posted on Instagram. Kimberly snapped a picture of you groaning next to a laughing Ryan whose arm slung tightly around your waist. You didn’t bother adding a caption; no way you wanted to explain how moments prior he caught you before you nearly plunged off the side of a trail. 

You wondered if Harrison would comment. He never did.

In fact, he never messaged you at all. He went completely silent on social media. No Instagram stories. No Twitter updates. No Snapchat stories. Nothing. 

“You know you could text him, right? It might make you feel better” Kimberly advised. 

Easier said than done. Every day you contemplated sending a text. Every day you made up an excuse. It was simple to chalk it up to being too busy than finding the guts to message him. 

Still you knew your roommate was right. She always was. Stupidly smart Kimberly. 

On your last day of spring break, you paced the floor before clicking through your contacts. You stared at the contact name “Lil Shit 💩”. Why was a poop emoji making you so nervous? Why couldn’t you just suck it up and say something? Why the hell was this so difficult? 

Just fucking text him already. 

Slowly you typed out a message. It wasn’t much but you assumed it would at least get a response. 

Y/N: Hey - how’s the Bahamas?

Your finger shakily hovered over the send icon. Send it. Just press the damn button. 

What was the worst that could happen? He could hit you up with that “new number who’s this”. He could tell you to fuck off. He could call you the wrong name. 

Finally you clicked send, heart pounding. 

You watched the message change from “message sent” to “message delivered”. It was nice to know he got phone coverage in the Bahamas.

Sarah called your name, distracting you from this mild obsession.You grabbed your belongings, heading downstairs. As the three of you loaded into the car, you noticed that the status had changed. He read the message. Well, that’s good. At least he got your text. 

A couple days passed and still no response. 

“Maybe he was busy?” Kimberly suggested. “Just send him another text.” 

Taking her advice, you shot off another text. 

Y/N: So are you back in the UK? 

And then there it was.

He left you on read. Again. 

Oh. So this was the worst option. 

Being ridiculed by Harrison was annoying but being ignored by Harrison was pure torture. 

It didn’t matter how many premieres Emma invited you to. You could attend all the after parties or party at every kick back. He wasn’t there. You wouldn’t have cared if you knew he was preoccupied with work, but he was actively avoiding you. And that fucking sucked.

When had things changed? When had arguing with Harrison become one of your favorite pastimes? When did you realize just how important he had become to you?

Spring classes resumed. Exams followed. You went through the motions, wondering what you two would be doing if he actually visited. Probably arguing. Potentially kissing. Of course he wasn’t there to prove any of your theories so you were left speculating the ‘what-ifs’. 

For months he ignored you. He had to break eventually, right? With summer vacation approaching, you assumed he’d finally talk. Say something damn it. 

You expected him at the Fourth of July party. Emma threw it every year at her parents’ house, gussying up the place with sparklers and birthday decorations. She insisted they could celebrate America’s independence as well as Harrison’s birthday. No one noted the irony of celebrating a Brit’s birthday on this specific holiday. 

Harrison always came, laughing about how his birthday should’ve been the national holiday. Your typical retort was telling him to stop being salty about America’s freedom. The two of you bantered about everything, from the consistency of the fireworks to what present you got him. (“I got you the gift of not kicking your ass.” “Lovely.”)

He never showed that day. 

All the Holland boys showed up, greeting you with hugs and huge smiles. No Harrison. 

Who was celebrating Harrison’s birthday with him? Was he alone or partying with other friends? Was there anyone there to make him a cake and wish him a happy birthday? You wanted to know but couldn’t find the courage to ask. 

Instead you pretended to have fun. You stuffed your mouth with food and sipped alcohol freely. You laughed at jokes and danced energetically. No way you missed Harrison’s painfully terrible hot dog jokes. Of course you didn’t mind that he wasn’t there to make dumb bets about how long the fireworks would last. 

It was just another party without him. Maybe that’s why this party wasn’t as fun as it should’ve been. 

With a nice buzz from drinking, you scrolled to his name in your contacts. “Just message him. Tell him how much he’s missing out” your brain encouraged. None of your friends were around to consult your poor decisions. The inebriation gave you an excuse to shoot off a text. 

Y/N: Enjoying the taste of freedom here in the good ol’ USA. 

That sounded like a good text. Right? 

“Send him a photo to prove you’re having a good time” the alcohol spurred your judgment. It sounded so good, so right. Of course he needed photographic proof you were having fun. 

Grabbing one of the small display flags, you rushed over to Harry Holland reclining in one of the plastic lawn chairs. He yelped as you yanked him back by his shirt slurring “Let’s take a photo to send to Harrison.” 

“Send it to Haz?” he asked incredulously before a sly smirk appeared on his face. “You finally ready to admit that you caught fe-”

“Shut up, Harry. Just take a photo with me” you snapped, refusing to let him finish that sentence. Even drunk you didn’t like where that sentence was going. 

Harry simply laughed, grabbing your phone to take the selfie. You flashed your teeth to the camera waving the small flag madly. You were so caught up in your actions that you didn’t notice Harry leaning in, catching you off guard as he planted a kiss on your cheek. 

The alcohol delayed your reaction, shoving him only once the flash went off. “What the hell was that?” Seriously, though. What the hell was that?

Harry snickered, tossing the phone in your lap. There in your messages, the photo had been sent to Harrison. What in the star spangled fuckery? 

“You’re welcome” he smirked, patting your shoulder. 

“I didn’t say thank you!” you shouted after him.

You sat in the chair, staring at the screen. The message changed to ‘read’ and you groaned throwing your head back. Of course he saw. He just never replied.

Except three moving dots appeared on the screen. You scrambled, sitting up straight. This was different. For a minute they just moved around before disappearing. Only a second later did they reappear. “Just say something already” you grumbled, the anticipation killing you.

Finally the dots disappeared for good. You groaned again, burying your face in your hands. You got your hopes up for nothing. 

“Piss off, Haz.” Your head swiveled to see Harry chuckling on the phone. Play it cool. Play it casual. Tipping backwards in the chair, you tried to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Just talk to her. Or go back to bed. Oh, and happy birthday, div” Harry hung up. As he looked up from his phone, the two of you made eye contact. 

“You’re welcome, Y/N.”

“I didn’t say thank you” you mumbled. Minutes passed before you realized he wasn’t going to text back. Still, you couldn’t resist one more try. 

Y/N: happy birthday, harrison. 

The moving dots appeared again and your heart lurched. Say something. Say something, Harrison. Even if he just told you to shut up, you wanted a response. Any response. 

The dots disappeared and never resurfaced. 

Just like that, you spent the holiday mulling over your thoughts as fireworks burst brightly into the night sky. 

As summer dwindled to an end, you spent the rest of your break in the UK. Emma guided you around, visiting both the touristy destinations and her favorite secluded places. Still, you couldn’t ignore the elephant in the room. 

Tom had been actively avoiding you as well. He made excuses why he couldn’t tag along when he loved playing third wheel to your friendship. 

Something was definitely amiss. It wasn’t something you could easily discuss seeing as every time you approached him, he made up excuses to leave. “I gotta take this call.” Alright? “Forgot I have an appointment.” Sure? “Tessa’s pooping.” Fuck off with that nonsense. 

You loved Tom like an annoying brother which was why his odd nature pissed you off. 

“What’s your deal, Holland?” you finally snapped. A small group of you hung out in his flat where he avoided being closer than four feet from you. Pretty impressive even if his apartment was fairly spacious. 

“Deal? What deal?” he asked feigning innocence. Yeah, right. Try your acting chops on another sucker, buddy.

“Tom, what’s going on?” 

His eyes shifted around, focusing on anything that wasn’t you. 

“No idea what you mean. Oh, you hear that? Think Tessa’s calling for me.” He stood as you crossed your arms over your chest. 

“Tessa’s fine, Tom. Sit down.” He immediately sat down. “You’re avoiding me. Well, you and Harrison. But we’re focusing on you right now.” 

“I’m not avoiding you. I’m right here.” Still no eye contact. 

“Tom, you’re not even looking at me” you griped. “You’re totally avoiding me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.” 

You were on the cusp of strangling your best friend’s boyfriend when Harry piped up from the kitchen. 

“Tom’s just being sour” he stated nonchalantly, fixing him and his twin brother a cup of tea.

“About what? I haven’t even done anything!” Sure, you could be an idiot but you hadn’t antagonized Tom in a while. Well, not that you could think of. This whole situation was an exasperating mess.

“I’m not being sour!” Tom interjected. 

“It’s ‘bout that new man you’ve got.” Harry hummed, ignoring his brother. Sam snickered, grabbing tea from one of the cabinets.

“What man?” you and Emma both questioned in unison. While you were utterly confused - since when did you have game for a man? - Emma looked stunned. 

“You have a man?” she mouthed to which you shook your head vigorously. 

“That man on your Instagram” Sam answered as Harry shuffled around the kitchen. 

You might’ve been impressed how both of them simply ignored their older brother’s glare if you weren’t so preoccupied trying to figure out what Sam meant. 

You pulled out your phone, scanning your Instagram profile. Looking at the first photo, you let out a snort. “Definitely not dating Sebastian Stan.”

“Oh, did you post that photo for a throwback?” Emma clapped her hands together excitedly. “You look so good! You’d never believe you’d been sobbing a couple minutes before that was taken.”

“Nah. Not that one. The guy from the woodsy photo” Harry steered the conversation back on course much to Tom’s dismay. 

“Who? Ryan?” 

“Oh, is that his name? I didn’t know” Tom remarked, acting completely surprised.

Harry choked on his tea before sputtering out a laugh. “Like you and Haz haven’t been trying to dig up dirt on the bloke” he wiped his mouth, grinning at an embarrassed Tom.

“You’ve been digging up dirt on Ryan?” you inquired, baffled that they would do that. 

“Ryan is Kimberly’s brother” Emma explained. 

“You’re dating Kimberly’s brother?” Tom’s eyebrows lifted in shock. 

“Wait, Kimberly has a brother?” 

“Which one is Kimberly again?” 

“Her flat mate.” 

“She the one who dressed up as a vagina on Halloween?” 

“Think so.”

Ignoring the younger brothers, you answered Tom’s question. “I’m not dating Ryan. Who told you that?” 

Tom went quiet, only sheepishly looking at the ground. Suddenly everything clicked. 

This fucking div. 

“Tom” you started slowly. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?” Silence. “Is it because you thought I was dating Ryan?” 

“No!” he shook his head like a scolded child. “It’s just…” he trailed off, still avoiding eye contact. 

“Spit it out, Holland.” 

“Okay...So maybe I thought you were dating Ryan. I just...I didn’t wanna make Harrison feel bad if I talked to you after all you guys have been through. But I didn’t know how to talk to you either. It’s not like I could talk to you about your new boyfriend.”

He corrected himself as he saw your glare. “I mean, your not your new boyfriend. I just didn’t want to take sides or anything.” 

Harry shared a wry smile with you before you both shook your heads in disbelief. 

“Oh, babe.” Emma placed her hand on Tom’s knee. The two of them exchanged soft smiles before she said “That’s the dumbest thing you’ve probably ever done. And you’ve broken your nose multiple times.”

His face turned red as Harry and Sam roared with laughter. 

“It’s not even about taking sides. We all know you’d choose Harrison; he’s your best friend. But you could’ve just asked what was going on instead of assuming things” she explained. “Now I’m gonna get a cup of tea while you sort this out with Y/N.” She kissed him on his forehead before joining the twins in the kitchen. 

Tom finally looked at you properly cracking a weak smile. “I’m really sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have...I should’ve just asked.” 

You laughed, accepting his apology. How could you not? It was Tom. The two of you exchanged a brief hug before you stood up and announced you were heading out. 

“No! Stay!” Tom insisted. “Let me fix things properly.” 

You weren’t sure what that meant, but you explained you needed to pack. Eventually with Emma’s help Tom relented.You gave him another hug before leaving his place.

Humming to yourself, you felt better knowing that you cleared up that miscommunication. If only things could be that simple. You pushed open the apartment door to a crisp breeze and turned before stopping in your tracks. 

Almost four months later and there he was. 

He blinked, clear recognition in those beautiful eyes. It was clear neither of you expected to run into one another. As you cautiously approached, he tensed up though stood firmly in place. 

Now only a couple feet away, you took a proper look at him. Had he gotten more handsome? Was that even possible? His hair was longer, messier but suited him well. His hands jammed into his pockets as he kept his eyes on you. Even with the tight expression, it was comforting finally seeing him. Finally being around him. It had been so long, and you missed this. Missed him. 

“I miss you.” Of all that was holy- Did you really just say that out loud? The words slipped out of your mouth carelessly. 

His eyes widened at your confession. Those were the first words since that rainy day. It felt strong, maybe too much. But those words rang true to how you felt. You couldn’t keep it in any longer. 

“I…” you paused, wishing you could’ve composed your thoughts better. But the moment was here, and the time was now. “I just...haven’t seen you around. I didn’t realize how much I missed you till you weren’t there. It was like all I could think about was if I was ever gonna see you again, y’know?” 

Seeing him take the slightest step forward, you summoned up a bit more courage to continue. 

“I like being around you, Harrison. I like arguing even though you drive me crazy. And Jesus Christ do you drive me fucking insane. And it’s crazy to think that you’re one of my favorite people even though you’re a pain in my ass.” 

The corner of his lips twitched, fighting the urge to smile. “But I like that you’re there for me. And that you don’t make fun of my crying. And that you’re so sweet.” 

You began choking up. Oh, God! Why the hell were you doing that? 

You wanted to stop - let him process all of this - but kept going. “And I get why girls like you because your flirting is just so...It’s you and it’s charming. It’s so damn charming that all I want is your attention.” His gaze shifted downwards, staring at the pavement. No, you didn’t want that. You wanted his focus on you. Please look up. Look up.

“And I love it when you call me love.” He glanced up at as your eyes swelled up with tears. Keep looking at me. No one else but me. 

Harrison stared as you dry swallowed, rubbing the tears away. “I really do. I don’t think you even realize what that does to me. And I wish...I just wish you said it in more than a friends way.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever thought about like that.” HIs eyes darkened at that, the softness quickly disappearing as he completely stiffened up.  

“Sorry I’m late!” A pretty brunette bounced up to Harrison’s side smiling widely. 

Neither of you spoke as she continued smiling, now with a quizzical expression. “Hello, I’m Jessica” she introduced herself as she held out her hand. You shook it, muttering a polite greeting before pulling away. 

That was when Harrison’s arm went around her protectively. He pulled her closer as she wrapped her arm around his back. He kissed her cheek causing her to let out a bright laugh. 

Oh. 

A weight crushed in your chest as you forced a smile. Of course Harrison would have someone. He hadn’t waited around for you to get your shit together. You missed out on the only chance he’d given. You’d been foolish to forget that others wanted him who wouldn’t hesitate for their opportunity. The weight sunk deeper the longer you looked at the couple. 

Noting the discomforting silence, Jessica eyed you both. “Should I just meet you up there, Haz?” she asked politely. Of course she called him by that nickname. Of course she had that privilege. 

“No, we’ve basically wrapped up.” 

“Guess up to Tommy’s place then” she nudged him in the ribs playfully. 

“‘Course, love.” Oh. 

So that was Harrison’s answer to your feelings. So this was how heartbreak felt. You nearly shattered into a million pieces as he smiled at her and squeezed her shoulder softly. Tears pricked the back of your eyes once again. Hold it in. Just for a little longer hold it in. You couldn’t bear the thought of crying in front of Harrison. 

“It was nice meeting you” Jessica smiled before taking your hand and squeezing it gently. 

“Y’too” you croaked out, reminding yourself to breath. In, out. In, out. In, get the fuck out. 

You pushed past them, rushing away from Tom’s apartment. A couple blocks later you stopped and took a deep breath. Leaning forward, you placed your hands on your thighs as the mental picture of the happy couple flashed in your mind. They looked good together. Of course they did. 

So there was the truth. Harrison Osterfield was completely and utterly over you. And you weren’t sure you would ever get over the ocean eyed boy who completely owned your heart.

tags list: @sleepybesson, @sophiatomlinson23, @supernatural-girl97, @tomhaz | @alt-ernativewonderland, @bbk8lin (not sure if you wanted to me to tag you?), @blackstarryroses, @bringmethehorizonandpizza, @butithasntkilledyouyet, @chims-kookies, @choke-me-sweet-pea, @deleteidentity, @divosterfields, @highladyjel, @hollandhearts, @jessiq31, @kateelyse96, @kayla-m1996, @lovelytrashure, @otheenglishsetters, @sarcasticvodka, @soccerstud004, @spider-mendes, @thefallenbibliophilequote, @valkyriesqueen101, @wolvesofthewinter

[verai-marcel]

Trapper Keeper (RDR2 Fanfic, Arthur x Fem!Reader, 18+, Part 1 of 3)

Summary: You’re a pretty good trapper, knowing where and how to get the best pelts around. Because of this, you have gotten really good at figuring out when someone is following you, because you don’t want to give up your good hunting spots. So when you literally catch a man stalking you, you debate what to do with him.

Author’s Notes: The fic title is 100% a joke title. LOLOLOLOL. For my pardner in crime, @r0xy-w0lf, here’s your two-sided fic, with a low and a high honor stalker Arthur. Since this is a very specific request, to all my other readers, please imagine that you are a tall blonde woman for the duration of this story. 

Tags: low honor Arthur: rough sex, seduction, possessiveness; high honor Arthur: light possessiveness, flustered Arthur, adrenaline fueled smut

AO3 Link is right here, kiddo.

--------------------

Chapter 1: A Meeting

"Stay in bed. I'll take care of the stall for ya."

Your adopted brother coughed and waved his hand. "M'fine."

"The hell you are."

"You hate staying in town."

"And I hate it when you work yourself sick."

He sighed, and then coughed, as if God was proving him wrong. "Alright, alright, you win."

"Damn right I do," you muttered as you left a mug of soup and a bread roll on the table. "Food's here when you get hungry. Make sure you eat somethin'."

You ignored his grumbling as you left the house and mounted Eclipse, your trusty Friesian stallion. His black coat shone in the sun, and his mane was combed and clean. Patting his side, you rode towards your adopted brother's butcher stall at the edge of town. 

As your went, you waved to the general store manager, who was sweeping his porch. 

"Any furs today?" 

"Not today, probably not for a week. Gotta wait until Matthew is healthy again."

The manager nodded. "Send my best."

You tipped your hat and rode on. 

You were one of the best trappers this side of Ambarino. Some of the merchants in the surrounding area had gotten to know your quality of work, and pay top dollar for what you bring. But on occasion, you'd bring some of your furs to sell to the general store here while you visited Matthew and your parents. 

You had been abandoned in a churchyard, so you’d been told. Your parents had adopted you after Matthew had found you in the garden outside, crying in a basket, no note, no name. You grew up following in your father's footsteps, tracking and hunting game using stealthier means. The bow and knife were your weapons of choice, black your preferred color for your hunting clothes. 

Matthew had listened to Mother, and had chosen a steady profession, less dangerous, more practical. The two of you both moved out to live on your own, Matthew with his own little cabin and you hoofing it with just a tent and the open road, but it was nice to know your folks were still living nearby, just enjoying life and each other. 

You reached the stall and sighed. You hated being stuck in town, and you hated dealing with people. But you always helped out family. 

***

Late in the afternoon, a man on a white Arabian cantered up to the stall. You eyed the wolf carcass and the furs underneath it. 

"Where's Matthew?"

"Out sick. I'm filling in for him. Whaddya got?" 

The man raised an eyebrow but said nothing more as he dumped the carcass on the ground. You inspected the kill; it was sloppy with multiple gun holes. 

"I can give ya a dollar for this one. Lotta holes."

"Well, it was either me or him."

You laughed. He was a funny man, with a gravelly voice and a short beard. You watched as he took the furs from the back of his horse and brought them over to you, laying them on the ground next to the wolf. 

You walked out from around the stall to take a look. Squatting down to pick one up, you examined all of them in turn. These furs were in much better condition. But still, the bullet holes were in prime spots. 

"I'll give ya three dollars for the lot."

"Only three?" He took a step closer to you, glaring. 

You stood up, and watched his eyes follow you as you rose to your full height. He was only 4” taller than you, but not many men were as big as him. Still, you had never let anyone’s size intimidate you.

"I said three. Take it or leave it. I can get better furs in my sleep. Whaddya usin', a shotgun?" 

He pursed his lips, a little annoyed with your sass. "I used a rifle."

You shook your head. "A bow is the way to go. Less damage to the skin."

"That's what Charles always tells me," he muttered. "Fine, fine, I'll take the three."

You paid him for his furs and the wolf carcass and started to put them away. 

"So. You Matthew's wife?" 

You gagged. "What? No! He's my brother!"

He laughed. "What's yer name? Don't think he ever mentioned havin' a sister."

You told him your name. "I'm not around much. I usually hunt in the mountains." You cocked your head at him. “What should I call you?”

He smiled, a little upturn of the lip to one side. “Arthur.” He paused, debating something, then continued. “So where do you hunt?”

“I ain’t tellin’ you.”

He raised an eyebrow at your response, but then nodded. “Fair ‘nuff. I wouldn’t give away my prized spots either.”

Mounting his horse, he tipped his hat to you. “Been a pleasure meetin’ ya. Will I see ya again tomorra’?”

You shrugged. “Probably. I ain’t lettin’ Matthew work again until his cough lets up.”

Arthur grinned. “Then I’ll bring ya more furs.”

“I look forward to judging you. I mean, them. The furs,” you replied, your joking tone matching your teasing smile.

He laughed as he rode off, amused by your response.

***

Every day, Arthur came by, even if he only had a small rabbit or two. If there was no one else around, he’d lean against the stall and exchange stories. The two of you would chat about hunting, crazy wildlife encounters, and sometimes, he’d just hang out and brush his horse while you worked. After the second night, he got into the habit of coming by when you were closing up for the day and accompanying you to get a drink at the saloon.

On the fourth day, he brought you some wild carrots for your horse, and the two of you talked about horses for an hour. If you didn’t know that Boadicea was his horse a long time ago, you’d think he was talking about a past lady love, with the way he spoke about her.

Time passed like a spring breeze, and you had never enjoyed your time in town more than this week.

But finally, you deemed Matthew healthy enough to work again. So you took your horse, packed up some rations, and hit the road again.

“Where you off to?” Matthew asked at the crack of dawn while you were checking your saddle bags one last time.

“Back up to Ambarino. Good beaver pelts this time of year.”

“Alright. Take care o’ yerself.”

You smiled. “Worry about yourself first.” Hopping into the saddle, you galloped out of the city and back into the wilderness, where you felt truly at home. But you did look back, just for a moment, wistfully thinking about a certain man who had kept you entertained for the week.

Hope I see you again, cowboy.

***

“You’re back.”

“You don’t seem too pleased.”

“It ain’t that, just…”

“She left this morning.”

“Where?”

“She said Ambarino.”

“That’s pretty vague.”

“She doesn’t like giving away her location, even to me.” Matthew leaned in closer to Arthur. “You ain’t sweet on her, are ya?”

“What? No. She was just interestin’ to talk to, s’all.” 

Matthew raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “I don’t care if you are or not. She’s just a hard cookie. If you go after her, she’ll probably kick ya in the balls and spit on yer face.”

“Sounds like a challenge.”

Matthew laughed. “Well, good luck. No man has ever been able to find her once she’s in her element. At least, none that came back alive.”

Arthur chuckled. A woman like that made his blood burn with desire. Now he absolutely had to find her.

***

Three days in Ambarino near Lake Isabella, and you had found only two beavers. But you had found plenty of rabbits. 

You also had the distinct feeling that someone was following you. Not closely, but they were close enough that you noticed their presence. Since you were hunting, you weren’t exactly going in a straight line through the forest, so when you had circled back around the lake, you saw the signs of a small camp, and they were recent. Tracking them through the forest was no easy task; they knew how to use the creeks and streams to hide their trail.

It was a day of cat and mouse; you and your mysterious stalker were just circling each other, trying to catch the other off guard. So instead, you decided to let them come to you. 

Setting up a simple rope trap near your camping spot, you went about your business, resting until well past sunset before heading out in your black hunting gear for your nightly hunts. You went to find a couple more rabbits for your pile of furs, cooked a meal, and turned in for the rest of the night.

At the break of dawn, you heard a snap and a manly grunt of surprise. You crawled out of your tent and went back to the rope trap to see who you had caught. When you saw him, you grinned like a fox.

Dangling by one leg upside down was Arthur. He was attempting to cut himself free from the rope around his foot, but the constant sway of the branch was making it difficult. You leaned against a tree and just watched as he finally cut the rope and landed with a heavy thud onto the ground. He got up and grumbled, dusting his clothes off, and then turned around when he heard you clear your throat.

“Fancy meeting you out here,” you said as you casually pointed your revolver at him.

Arthur slowly put his hands up in the air. “Fancy that,” he mumbled.

“I gotta say, you’re pretty good at tracking, if you found me all the way out here,” you said softly, taking better aim at his chest to show him that you were serious. “So tell me. Why did you follow me?”

----------------------

And now, do you wish to go with:

High Honor Arthur

Low Honor Arthur

[anagentinwriting]

Subscribe - Part 7

Summary: (Modern AU) Peter was your college sweetheart until a certain event led to your break up. Seven years later another event brings you two back together, but this time a little girl is in the picture. Will listening to your podcasts be the reason you two get back together or be another reason to keep you apart?

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader

Word Count: 2554

Warnings: Fluff, angst, language, implied sexy times, pregnancy

Subscribe Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Peter was in his office staring at all the unanswered emails and the pile of demo CD’s Nat wanted him to listen to, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The only thing on his mind was you and how you were doing. It’s been a few days since you woke up and Gamora texted him updates. He acted like he didn’t care, but he did. He was happy you were getting released from the hospital today, which meant you were recovering. He’s been busy working, so he hated not being able to see Mer as much as he was before. 

Bucky laid on the couch listening to the same pile of demos Peter was supposed to listen to; instead, all he wanted to do was listen to your voice. The only way to do this was to listen to the next episode, #43. He slipped on his headphones and put his feet on the table as he leaned back in his chair, shutting his eyes. 

“Hello, listeners and welcome to this week’s episode of Everyday's a Monday. Today we’ll be talking about pregnancy, but more specifically how and when we found it. Sometimes this doesn’t happen in the best of circumstances, but sometimes it can be a miracle. But like some of us, we remember when we got pregnant, cough cough, YN. Isn’t that right? Listeners, she is shaking her head, yes, but the whiteboard she is holding says no. That’s right she has a whiteboard now! I am going to get her to talk like I always do because she loves me, her job, and our listeners. OH MY GOD, she’s flipping me off,” Wanda gasped. “We’ll be hearing her story later, but for now, for today’s guest, she is our very intimidating, took a great deal of convincing to get her on the air, Virginia Potts aka Mrs. Stark, but everyone calls her Pepper. Welcome Pepper, how has your week been going?”

“It’s been great. We have some new products about to launch this month, and we hope everyone will check them out. We are even going to be giving away ten of each product to those who enter our contest, which will launch this week on our website.”

“Hear that free stuff, who doesn’t love free stuff,” Wanda laughed. “Let’s get right into it. I know you have a little girl at home that you love dearly, but how would you describe the moment you found out you were pregnant? Were you and Mr. Stark trying, did it just happen, or was it a crazy romantic evening?”

“Well...I won’t give much away, but it all started......

...then the next thing I knew there was an adorable baby girl in Tony’s arms, and it brought a smile to my face. Because in that moment, I knew Tony would be the best father in the world to her, and he has been. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband or a better father to our little Morgan than Tony.” 

“Aww, that's so sweet.”

“Don’t tell him that because it will go to his head,” Pepper stated, making both of them laugh. “Enough about me now. Let’s hear YN’s story.”

“And with that, she is walking through the door. Wow, Pepper you barely had to say anything to get her in here. I always have to convince her.”

“Well, I write her paychecks,” Pepper added.

“That you do Pepper,” you laughed. “So what should I share with you on this episode?”

“What events led up to your pregnancy?”

“It happened spring break of my senior year in college. Star-lord surprised me with a planned trip the night before we were leaving. He didn’t tell me where we were going because he wanted it to be a surprise...” 

Peter knew this exact trip you were talking about. He spent all senior year working double-time to pay for the five days, four-nights adventure in Colorado Springs. He planned everything from the activities to where they would eat each night. He opted to stay in an Airbnb instead of a hotel because it was cheaper, and they would have more privacy. He thought everything would go according to plan, but it didn’t end up that way. 

“He planned our whole trip to Colorado Springs. I will admit, he did a great job with it, too. We did all kinds of things I never would've thought about doing like zip-lining, taking a helicopter flight above the mountains, and rock climbing. I was horrible at it, but Star-lord liked it because he got to stare at my ass the whole time,” you chuckled, forcing a laugh out of Wanda and Pepper. 

Peter smiled to himself because you weren’t wrong. He did enjoy the view.

“Did he take you anywhere romantic?” Pepper asked.

“We went stargazing.”

“Oh my god, it’s like your first not a date date,” Wanda chimed in.

“Yes, but it was better. Staring up at those stars was different because they felt so much closer and shined so much brighter. I have looked up at many stars, but those in Colorado Springs were something special. It was a beautiful night, and one of the best trips I have ever gone on. I don’t know if it was the fresh air or if it was being there with Star-lord because he made it so much funner. I know that’s not a word, but that’s what it felt like.“

“Awww, are you blushing?”

“No, why would you ask that Wanda? YN doesn’t blush.”

“You two done…...okay good.” You cleared your throat. “Each night, we stayed up late talking. We talked about everything. Hopes, dreams, promises, and our life together after graduation. They were deep conversations. I mean we had conversations like this before, but nothing as deep as the nights we had there.” 

You were right. Those late-night conversations were deep. He remembered talking about marriage and where they would move to start their lives together.  They talked about having children and what they would name them. It was hard to remember the exact names, but he was almost positive Meredith was one of them. You and him made many promises on this trip, but he did end up breaking one of them; he broke your heart. 

“Anyways, the last day he set up a whole spa treatment for me, it was six hours of treatments, but it was a night I will never forget.”

“You had amazing sex didn’t you?”

“Why would you go right there, Wanda? There is way more to the story before the sex happened.”

“Wow, talk about eager beavers,” you sighed. “I got back to the house, and laying on the bed was a gorgeous V-neck black dress and black heels with red on the bottom. Next to the dress was a note saying, ‘Get ready. I’ll be there at 7 sharp. Love, Star-lord.””

Peter could picture you in that black dress to this day. He wished he could take all the credit for finding it, but it was all Gamora. She did an amazing job finding the perfect dress to show off all your favorite features. Peter still didn’t know why you wanted to be with him at the time because you were gorgeous, and he was a sandwich away from being fat. 

“Once I got ready, there was a knock on the door, and once I opened it I saw Peter dressed to the nines. He was wearing a gray suit with a black tie. I mean he looked…”

“She is drooling, listeners.” 

“Shut up, Wanda. I’m not drooling, but he looked very….”

“Hot? Cute? Fuckable? Handsome? Sorry listeners I have no filter,” Wanda confessed.

“Any of those words would work. He picked me up and took me downtown to one of the nicest restaurants I have ever been to. It had a view of the mountains, and all the waitresses and waiters wore suits. It was classy and after dessert…”

“He got more dessert?”

“Wow...this episode might as well be rated R at this point.” You paused.  “So, we were walking down the street holding hands, and we walked past this wedding reception going on. There was a big sign out front saying ‘Wilson’s Reception’. We both looked inside and got the same idea. We went in and started dancing. I’m not one to dance in public, but he made me want to do it. I swear we danced for what felt like forever, but it was only a couple hours.”

“Did you two get caught?” Pepper questioned.

“Yes, but the groom felt so honored we crashed his wedding that he went around introducing us as the wedding crashers. They were the nicest, most welcoming people I've ever met. We even ended up filling out the guest book and bought them a present from the gift shop across the street. It was a blast! We even ended up exchanging numbers with them. About a month later, we got a thank you card, and a few pictures of us with them and one I didn’t even know they took of me and Star-lord slow dancing together.” 

Peter heard the smile in your voice. He couldn’t believe he had that much of an effect on you that evening because you had the same effect on him. He remembered this night, especially because he realized this was Meredith's third favorite photo of them. His back was to the camera showing off his white collared shirt holding you close with your arm wrapped around his shoulder. It looked like he was whispering something to you, but he couldn’t remember. You wore a soft carefree expression on your face and a small smile showing how breathtaking you could be without even trying. This was his favorite picture of the two of you together because he could see how much in love with you he was. 

“Wow, now that sounds like a fun night,” Pepper commented.

“It was, but our legs were killing us the next day. We were lucky all we had to do was sit on the plane,” you explained. “When we got back to the cabin that night, Star-Lord opened the door, and something felt different in the air. The room was lit with candles, there were flower petals on the floor, and soft music was playing over the surround sound. It was something you would see out of a movie.”

“I am such a hopeless romantic for that shit. There are literal butterflies in my stomach, and I wasn’t even there,” Wanda admitted.

“I didn’t know what was going on, so I turned to him, and he gave me a cheeky smile. You know that smile where he did something wrong, and he is nervous about me finding out, but instead, he grabbed my hand and pulled me close. I put my hand over his heart and….” You took a deep breath and let it out as if you were thinking about what to say. “Not giving away any details you can use your imagination on this one listener. One thing led to another, and about a month later I found out I was pregnant.”

“Do you think he had other plans that night besides putting a baby in you?”

“I guess I’ll never know,” you confessed in a soft voice.

“Another story about the dreamy Star-Lord and I still can’t calm down the racing heart in my chest. As always, thank you to Pepper for spending the last hour with us, and to our amazing fans for listening. Don’t forget to subscribe, comment, and follow us on our new Instagram page. From all of us here at Everyday's a Monday have a great week!”

Peter did have other plans, and it didn’t involve putting a baby in you. There was a reason it looked like something out of a movie because he wanted everything to be perfect. He found the best flower petals, your favorite smelling candles, the most calming music, but he never got the words out. He chickened out. He tried to find another chance to do it, but then he got the call. The call that changed his life. The call from Wakanda Records telling him he got the internship, which meant he’d be moving and living in Los Angeles for two years. He thought it was a new beginning for both of them, but everything spiraled out of control. 

“What the fuck, Peter, you’re proposing?” Nat shouted at him as soon as she pulled the headphones off his head. He sat up, rubbing his eyes as they adjusted to the lights. Nat must've scared Bucky too because he was up and stretching his arms over his head looking confused by the situation, too.

“Don’t be mad, but what am I proposing?” He asked, squinting his eyes.

“You’re going to ask Bereet to marry you. I didn’t even know you two were that serious.”

“WHAT? NO! We are not serious at all! Where would you get such a crazy idea?”

“She found a ring in your apartment,” Nat interjected, crossing her arms across her chest. 

“Ring? What ring? I never bought a ring!” Peter admitted, staring hard at his hands on his desk. 

“Well she found one, and I am paraphrasing her when she texted me ‘it was cute but small’. And she wants me to investigate in secret to when you are going to do it.”

“Some secret spy you are,” he scoffed, shaking his head.

“Where did she say she found it?” Bucky questioned in a gruff voice.

“Um--” she pulled out her phone and scrolled through her messages “--in your music collection. It was in with your cassette tapes.”

Peter furrowed his brows before his eyes widened, and he looked at Bucky who seemed to have the same realization. “Bucky, you never got rid of it? I thought you told me you got rid of the ring. You told me you did.”

“I never said I did. I put it in with your music in case something changed down the road and it has.”

“Wait, what's going on here?” Nat looked between the two men.

Peter shook his head as he stared at her. “Was the ring in the silver square box?”

“Yes,” Nat confirmed.

“That ring wasn't meant for her. It was meant for...” he sighed

“YN,” Bucky finished for him, and Peter nodded. 

“Wait, you knew about this and didn't tell me?”

“I'm sorry, but it wasn't my story to tell.”

“You wanted to marry this girl, yet you let her walk away from you. Where's the logic in that Peter? Are you an idiot?”

“I know. I screwed up.”

“Yes, you did. I don't even know YN, but from what Mer has told me; she is one helluva woman. And every time you talk about her your face brightens up like a kid on Christmas morning, even after all these years.” Peter nodded along, agreeing with everything she was saying. “You need to talk to her.”

“I know I do.”

“Sooner rather than later, Peter,” Nat stated, earning another nod from Peter. “Who knows you two might end up together again. Mer wants it to happen.”

“Really?”

“Yup, she says she's on a mission to parent trap you two,” Bucky added with a soft chuckle.

“She would say that...damn, I love that kid."

_____

AN: Talk about a fun spring break adventure. It seemed like they had their lives figured out, but why did they break up if they were so happy together? And do you think Meredith’s mission to parent trap them will be successful? Thanks for reading! 

[the-light-followed]

THE COLOUR OF MAGIC (1983) [DISC. #1; RINCEWIND #1]

Rating: 5/10

Standalone Okay: Yes

Read First: NO.

Discworld Books Masterpost: [x] 

* * * * * * * * * *

Ask any Discworld fan, and we’ll all pretty much universally agree that The Colour of Magic isn’t the pinnacle of the Discworld experience.  Nobody really recommends that new readers should start here, even if it is the first book in the series chronologically.  I’m pretty much a writing-order-equals-reading-order purist, for reasons best discussed elsewhere, and even I would absolutely never start people off with this one.  (I tend to go for Going Postal or Wee Free Men—again, for reasons best discussed elsewhere.)

It’s not Pratchett’s best work.  It’s not even his tenth best work.  If I have to rate it (and I do, because that’s kind of the point, here), compared to the rest of Discworld, it’s down at the bottom of my list.

It’s pretty damn good, though, for what it is.

For me, it’s a genuine joy to read the early Rincewind books. This is because, in my head at least, it makes total sense that everything involved in them is baffling and strange when compared to the settled absurdism you get from other Discworld novels.  Further into the series, it all feels a lot more comfortable and fleshed-out: yes, the things Pratchett writes about are often genuinely ridiculous, but usually the setting explains those things and packages them up neatly enough to make them acceptable. And the characters treat everything as perfectly normal, business as usual, so the reader is gently encouraged to do the same.  

Thinking about it, I would argue that a lot of the Discworld shenanigans aren’t all that different from a lot of the real-world nonsense that we all just accept as totally normal.  Discworld nonsense and our nonsense just come from different places. For us, it’s stuff like the fact that some cops still ride horses for absolutely no good reason, or that tipping is part of a server’s pay in an American restaurant, or that water is usually free but we all let movie theaters charge us like $5 for a bottle, and what’s that even about?  In the Discworld, the thieves and assassins have unionized, and if you slip up, it’s entirely possible to just fall right off the edge of the world.  It’s weird, and it’s not exactly fine, but it’s not about to kill us right this second, so we all just let it happen. We accept it.

This is not at all the case for our unwilling protagonist, the original Discworld hero-who-is-absolutely-not-a-hero, Rincewind. He’s scared of everything.  He is a genuine, bona fide coward.  Absolutely everything that happens leaves him baffled, terrified, and/or dismayed, and to tell the truth I unconditionally respect all of this about him, because most of the absolute bullshit nonsense going down around him is baffling, terrifying, and/or simply Not Good, and he and the reader have to learn to live with that together.

Over the course of this one novel, failed-wizard-slash-reluctant-guide Rincewind is:

Involved in burning down large parts of the city of Ankh-Morpork, because he left his friend unsupervised and the city really wasn’t ready for the invention of ‘insurance’ without the accompanying understanding of ‘insurance fraud.’

Chased, threatened, and variously menaced by a sentient suitcase known as the Luggage, which canonically has huge teeth, a mahogany tongue, hundreds of little legs, and an insatiable hunger for the flesh of its owner’s enemies.  Also, it does your laundry if you leave it inside. Isn’t that nice?

Forced into a duel by dragon riders, where he must fight upside-down while wearing boots that basically Velcro-attach their wearers to the ceiling.

Captured, imprisoned, and scheduled to be sacrificed to the anthropomorphic personification of Fate in exchange for success in a scientific endeavor—specifically, checking the biological sex of the giant turtle carrying the Discworld on its back through the universe.

Dropped over the Rimfall, the waterfall at the edge of the Disc, which in Roundworld terminology is something like tripping and falling off the surface of the Earth and flying into the abyss of space.

Repeatedly almost forced to speak one of the Eight Great Spells that created the universe, which will do…something, possibly catastrophic, when spoken.  No one knows exactly what it does.  Rincewind certainly doesn’t.  This spell attached itself parasitically to his brain years ago, and, in the meantime, has shoved all the other wizard-y type things he could have been doing right on out of there.

So, basically, he’s going through a lot.  And this list isn’t everything, just the bits I pulled out by opening my book at random spots and reading a couple of lines.  It kind of makes sense, in my opinion, that things feel a little topsy-turvy.  Shit’s wild.

On top of that, I’d also argue that Pratchett is playing pretty fast and loose with plot and story structure in this book.  It can feel sloppy at times, more like a bunch of little vignettes that have been strung together than a single, coherent storyline. The plot loosely wobbles along the tightrope strung between Rincewind’s uncanny luck, good and bad, and cheerfully-blockheaded-tourist Twoflower’s unstoppable ability to trample through the middle of every single situation that could possibly try to kill him.  Very bad things happen, but somehow, they miraculously fail to die, and so Rincewind is still stuck shepherding Twoflower along through the next incident of someone or something trying to brutally murder them both.  There’s no real greater plot or driving need, just Twoflower with his little camera, wanting to take pictures of every beautiful and dangerous part of the Disc.

If a rabid wolf the size of a bus came up and tried to eat him, Twoflower would take pictures of the inside of its mouth and say, “Oh, wow, I’ve never seen teeth that big before!  Rincewind, won’t you take a picture of me with this magnificent beast?”  And Rincewind wouldn’t answer, because he’d be half a mile away already and still moving fast, with nothing but a cartoon cloud of dust left behind to mark where he’d been.

[Here’s the boys, Rincewind and Twoflower, just doing their best.  From the BBC two-part miniseries called The Colour of Magic, which actually spans the plot of both The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic. Yes, that is Samwise Gamgee playing Twoflower, and yes, I did get distracted by that a lot while watching. Twoflower has all of Sam’s earnest faith and absolutely none of his common sense.]

Fun!

The whole thing actually is pretty fun, though.  It’s witty.  It’s got something to say, even if that something is just “hey, aren’t all these identical High Fantasy Adventure books all overdramatic and ridiculous in the exact same ways?”  Pratchett is writing this book as one massive joke he’s telling about the genre, the tropes, and the archetypes, and he does a pretty decent job even by today’s cultural standards, let alone the standards of 1983.  Chances are that any point he’s making here in The Colour of Magic is something he’s going to make again, better, in a later book, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the seeds of something here.

As a main example, I’ll point out Liessa Dragonlady, who has arguably the biggest role in one of the major conflicts of this book.  Liessa is initially presented as the quintessential High Fantasy barbarian warrior lady, which would typically be more about sex appeal than any actual skill—except that Liessa is actually highly intelligent, 110% more talented and qualified as a leader and warrior than her brothers or literally anyone on the protagonists’ team, and is aware the whole time that she’s struggling against the patriarchy and her society (and the tropes) in trying to take what should be her rightful place as leader of the Wyrmberg.  The sexism exists in the Discworld, not in the writing.

[Liessa from the BBC’s The Colour of Magic, wearing—no joke—a crop top armor chest piece.  Actually, I think it’s technically a bikini, based on the bottom half of the armor.  Or should I say the lack thereof?  Classic.]

Liessa is a decent example of Pratchett’s ability to look at the tropes and the reader’s expectations, and then go and take his writing somewhere else.  But even so, I’d absolutely point to Monstrous Regiment or even Equal Rites first for anyone wanting to read a really solid exploration of femininity and what it means to be a woman in a traditionally ‘masculine’ field.  Or I’d suggest just about any book starring the senior witches or Tiffany Aching for examples of well-rounded female characters that demand respect in a world specifically designed to not want to give it to them.

But that’s just one example.  The Colour of Magic has the seeds of quite a few really good ideas that Pratchett will explore in more depth later on.

I think those seeds are part of what makes The Colour of Magic worth a read at some point, even if it’s never going to be anyone’s favorite Discworld book.  I love seeing the foundations of Future-Discworld, that settled absurdism I was talking about earlier, in this.  We’ve got our proto-Vetinari, long before he had a name, being generically threatening and Machiavellian and as close to ‘cackling evil overlord’ as it’s possible to get without actually cackling, or at least without some sort of thunderstorm rumbling in the background.  Ankh-Morpork is a wonderfully scum-filled cesspit of depravity and immorality.  There’s no effective City Watch to kick things into a rickety and leaking approximation of ship-shape, so it’s probably a good thing that the river Ankh is so thick with pollution that you don’t need a ship to cross it—you can just walk.

There’s even some early conceptualization of Pratchett’s special brand of everyday magic, the kind that will show up over and over again in the Discworld: the idea that even with a reality full of gods and wizards and hyper-powerful, monstrous things, there’s still a lot of power in everyday, ordinary people.

Pratchett is all about belief.  He preaches the importance of the self, in terms of making reality into the place we think it should be.  In Pratchett’s world, the things we believe in matter, and not just in a philosophical sense.  Belief is a real, tangible form of magic—in this book, specifically, Twoflower manages to summon an entire dragon out of nothing, just because he believes strongly enough that dragons should exist the way he’s always dreamed them to be.  In later books, sheer belief and willpower are shown to create and fuel gods and spirits, to contain quasi-demonic entities of vengeance and darkness, and to form the backbone of every other more ‘traditional’ type of magic.  

It’s nice to see the early forms of it here.  I’m not going to get too into it, because it’s going to show up a lot in later books in more significant ways (I’m thinking Hogfather, Small Gods, and even Pyramids) and I don’t want to beat that horse to death just yet, but it’s one of the foundation stones of the Discworld.  It’s somehow comforting to know that it’s been here since the very beginning.

It’s also funny as hell to see the stuff that Pratchett will eventually change, soften, or drop entirely as he settles into the way the Discworld will work.  Did you know there are eight seasons on the Discworld?  And that in my 1985 edition of the book, the footnote where he explains these eight seasons takes up the bottom half of two entire pages?

That’s one single footnote there.  The first ever footnote, even, and it’s almost a full page long and utterly ridiculous.  It’s incredible, and I love it a lot.  I also love that almost none of the details here are ever mentioned again, and if they are, it’s never in a significant or memorable way—and Pratchett certainly doesn’t waste a whole page on any of them ever again.  Well, except for Hogswatch, because Pratchett knows when he’s got a real winner.  It might have taken him thirteen years, but he wrote a whole damn book about it, and we all can agree that Hogfather is a joy and a delight.

Not so much “Autumn Prime,” “Crueltide,” “Winter Secundus,” and blah blah blah etcetera whatever.  I’m not ashamed to admit that I forgot them while I was literally still in the middle of reading them.  And what the hell is “Reforgule of Krull”?  No clue. It’s total nonsense, never seen again, and I think we can all agree we are fine with this.  

On second thought, I think Pratchett does end up using Hubward and Rimward pretty regularly as directions.  But without this info-dump, when reading other books, I think that even I figured out how “Hubward” and “Rimward” work on a flat plate of a world with a Hub in the center and a Rim along the outside.  And I am so bad with maps and directions that I literally get confused trying to give people directions to the parking lot outside my work.

I’m no good at wrapping these things up, so I’m ending this post the same way that Pratchett ends the book: with Rincewind abruptly falling off the edge of the Disc.

[Originally, I was going to go hunt down some fanart or something, but I don’t have permission to use any of that, so instead you get my doodles off the scrap paper I steal from work.  Luckily for everyone, I’m an artistic genius.  The dot representing Rincewind obviously isn’t to scale, since one human person would be much smaller than that, but if it represents the size of his body and the size of his scream, then it’s basically accurate.]

* * * * * * * * * *

Side Notes:

Rincewind’s insane luck, good and bad, is because he’s a favorite of the goddess referred to only as ‘the Lady,’ since invoking her true name means she has to leave.  She’s the anthropomorphic personification of Luck itself, and she’s the reason Rincewind always survives whatever terrible situation he finds himself in—but also the reason he’s stuck in that situation in the first place.  

Everything that goes wrong, and the dramatic escape that inevitably follows, is because the Lady likes to play dice games with Fate, using normal people on the Disc as game pieces.  

Rincewind, it turns out, is the human equivalent of her favorite Monopoly token. (The iron, maybe?  It has the same sort of Looney Tunes cartoon-anvil vibe as Rincewind’s whole, well, everything.)

Death as a character makes his first appearance in The Colour of Magic.  However, here it’s implied he actually is involved somehow in the killing process, and his role can be filled in by apparently random low-level demons on their days off, whereas later books make it clear he just collects and shepherds the dead onward, and actually the issue of his replacement is a big deal, cosmically speaking.  

Pratchett sort of avoids this issue by claiming that Rincewind’s life timer is so complicated and convoluted (because of all the weird accidents and magical incidents) that Death just can’t tell when he’s actually supposed to die.  

I guess Death shows up every time it looks like Rincewind might kick the bucket, just in case?  And in that case, all the threatening stuff he says to Rincewind in these early books must be because he’s so irritated that he has to keep coming out for no reason, only to find that Rincewind has, once again, managed to survive.  And maybe the low-level demon showing up instead was just, uh, Death trying to scare him into actually beefing it, this time…?

Although the Unseen University Librarian exists and is human for the entirety of this book and only this book, he does not appear at any point.  He’s briefly referenced—or, at least, a librarian is referenced, but this is referring back when Rincewind was young and read the grimoire that left one of the Eight Great Spells parasitically attached to his mind.  There’s no guarantee it’s the same librarian, and based on the turnover (read: murder) rate of University wizards at the time, I don’t think it’s likely that anyone managed to hold onto their job that long.  On Google, I did find a thing where someone cut together some shots of him in human form from The Colour of Magic BBC show, so that’s pretty fun:

Once he’s changed into an orangutan in The Light Fantastic, he’s described as still looking a bit like the human Librarian: with that beard and hair combo, I think they nailed it.

* * * * * * * * * *

Favorite Quotes:

“Inn-sewer-ants-polly-sea.”

“She was the Goddess Who Must Not Be Named; those who sought her never found her, yet she was known to come to the aid of those in greatest need. And, then again, sometimes she didn’t. She was like that.”

“It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists’ houses and smashing their windows.”

“Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.”

“‘I’m sure you won’t dream of trying to escape from your obligations by fleeing the city…’ ‘I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, lord.’  ‘Indeed? Then if I were you I’d sue my face for slander.’”

“It was octarine, the colour of magic. It was alive and glowing and vibrant and it was the undisputed pigment of the imagination, because wherever it appeared it was a sign that mere matter was a servant of the powers of the magical mind. It was enchantment itself.  But Rincewind always thought it looked a sort of greenish-purple.”

[heoneyology]

Hearts on the Line: Ch.2

A/N: Chapter 2 of my now named Hearts Awakened, Live Alive series that originally started for my friend! I’m not sure how many parts it’ll be, but it looks like it’s going to be turning into that overarching story I mentioned from before (you can expect Hongjoong’s story to start soon, the plot will mix with his and begin to make a bit more sense). Sorry it’s lagging right now, the next chapter should be more exciting!

Pairing: Wooyoung x Reader

Genre: action, angst, romance, outlaw!au

Word Count: 2372

Summary: You’ve got a debt to pay, and Wooyoung has an agenda of his own. But for your help with just one last scheme, Wooyoung is willing to allow your debt to drop off—unknown to him, though, you also have your own agenda, and a loyalty to an unspoken Other. With hearts on the line, you each will end up having to make a decision that may risk what you both thought was simply just a game.

The three of you returned back to base camp that night, attempting to act as if nothing happened. Of course, the atmosphere between the three of you—most specifically Seonghwa and Wooyoung—was enough to alert Jongho and Yeosang something was up when you all returned.

You had ridden close behind the two of them, gaze switching between watching their backs up ahead from where you lagged behind, to the stars littered across the night sky above. The three of you allowed your horses to trail along leisurely, in no rush despite Seonghwa’s silent bristling and Wooyoung’s eerily strange seriousness. The mood had settled over him immediately after he’d told you he would be testing your loyalty. Luckily for everyone, Yeosang and Jongho knew better than to ask any questions, instead, they turned their attention to you and effectively worked in distracting you, worrying over what they were going to be eating tonight. Wooyoung finished tying up the horses before he joined everyone by the fire, and Seonghwa immediately disappeared into his tent, probably to engage himself in some private brooding. “You know, you guys could have just reheated this stew on your own,” you mused aloud as you worked to hang the pot over the fire. You’d made the stew days ago, in mass, for everyone to enjoy. It was hearty, filled with a bit of everything, and you’d made enough that it could last a few days between the eight members of the band and yourself. Of course, four of the members had left abruptly, unplanned, which left a lot more food than anticipated for just five people. “We were afraid of burning it,” Jongho admitted sheepishly, “the last time I attempted to reheat and re-cook anything you made, half of it got burnt to the bottom of the cooking pot.” You shrugged. “Fair enough.” He hadn't been lying. While he might have a decently large appetite, cooking was an entirely different matter for Jongho. As you worked on reheating the stew—carefully stirring it as necessary and running away from the fire towards the food stockpile at the corner of the camp to add a few extra ingredients, enlisting Jongho’s eager help to dice up the ingredients—you found yourself stealing glances towards Wooyoung. He’d discarded his hat and mask to the side as soon he’d joined everyone by the fire. Instead of sitting on one of the logs that had been set up next to the fire pit when the camp had been made, Wooyoung was sitting on the dirt ground beneath him, leaning back against the log. His head was tilted towards the sky, eyes closed. You had to admit that he looked handsome. The firelight accentuated his best features, specifically his knife-like jawline. “Don’t make it so obvious you’re staring,” Jongho whispered from next to you as he added more vegetables to the stew. Silently, you cut him a look, stirring in the new addition. “That should be enough. It’ll be ready soon. Thanks, Jongho.” For the moment, you focused hard on your task of stirring, making sure not to look back at Wooyoung. You concentrated a little too hard on your stirring, thoughts drifting back to what had been discussed that the saloon earlier that night. You weren’t entirely sure what Wooyoung had meant when he’d said he was testing your loyalty—did it have to do with his comment about him being your love? Both of you knew better than to entertain such a thought. The life that Wooyoung was living meant falling in love was a risk in of itself; Wooyoung didn’t have time for those sorts of things, none of the ATEEZ members did, really. Jung Wooyoung himself was especially talented in charming his way in and out of situations, twisting things to work to his and the gang’s advantage. Emotional attachment wasn’t something that crossed his mind in particular. In the end, you were only in this to repay a debt, anyway. Two years wasn’t enough to pay off what your father had done, though. You weren’t entirely sure how any of this made sense. Despite that knowledge, you couldn’t help but think back to a little over a year and a half—almost two years—ago, when you’d first joined the company of the group. As you’d left your home to follow these eight men, the ranch you’d grown up on had grown smaller and smaller in the distance of the barren desert landscape behind you. At that time, you hadn’t had your own horse. You’d held tentatively onto the back of Wooyoung’s jacket as he lead his horse away from your home, unsure of getting closer to the men who essentially had bought off your freedom—to an extent. Before the speed of the horses traveling had picked up, forcing you to wrap your arms around Wooyoung’s torso to ensure you didn’t fall off, you’d glanced over your shoulder one last time that the hell you were leaving behind. Wooyoung’s words at that time rang in your head. “We’ll make you forget that place. It’ll become less than a memory. A speck of dust.” He had told you, glancing over his shoulder at you. “We’ll make a new home for you.” They had been words that had stuck with you for the last couple of years. They were words that highly contrasted the Wooyoung you had come to know. He had said those things that day, but ever since he had dragged you into situations you found less than pleasant, on multiple occasions. Everything that the gang did, you were partnered with Wooyoung. Literal partners in crime, you acted as a scapegoat to save him, you acted as an instigator to his crimes of the heart and mind. You’d learned to become as conniving as him through all the time spent by his side. He’d said those words, but he was the first to make you think you were disposable, at any given moment, if you didn’t follow along. Was it a ruse he was playing on you? As nice as the thought sounded, it seemed unlikely. You forcefully pulled yourself out of thoughts of the past. There was no point, you figured, in over-thinking. Maybe if you just ran full force into whatever it was ahead that Wooyoung had planned, things would work out well. It was wishful thinking, of course, but it was worth a try. “Jongho,” you called, lifting your attention from the stew as you stood to your feet. You pulled the stockpot away from where it hung over the fire. “Utensils, please!” It took no time at all for Jongho to run off to the newly acquired chuck-wagon Hongjoong had bought off a rancher a few weeks back, returning to your side with some bowls and spoons. You served enough for everyone around the fire. Wooyoung awoke from whatever miniature nap he’d been taking, and him and Yeosang sat across the fire to eat together. Jongho took up position next to you. The conversation included everyone—lacking direction but enjoyable all the same, the company as warm as the flames emanating heat. You could tell that, next to you, Jongho was antsy. Probably curious about what had happened while you had been in town with the others. Before he became curious enough to pry, you decided to excuse yourself from the fireside. Jongho looked at you inquisitively. “Seonghwa needs to eat before it gets cold,” you pointed out, filling your empty bowl back up to the brim, heading off to the tent he shared with the currently absent leader. You made sure to make enough noise, feet scuffing against the dirt, to announce your presence, before raising your voice. “Seonghwa?” From the other side, muffled, his reply, “You can come in.” You pushed aside the flap of the tent, moving into the circular space. It was large enough to be a comfortable, yet temporary, living quarter for two people. Seonghwa sat at a chair, a barrel in front of him he’d taken to using as a desk. Since they’d been spending so much time at their current location, they’d picked up a few goods here and there to make their living situation more comfortable. Most of the stuff would be pawned off, or just forgotten, as soon as they were ready to move. But because of current events going on—that had led Hongjoong to take half of the gang with him and disappear for an unknown amount of time—they couldn’t risk staying at a hotel or saloon like they might typically. “I brought some food for you,” as you said this, you held the bowl out to him. He gave you a grateful smile, taking it from you. “Smells delicious. Thank you.” You nodded, folding your hands behind your back and standing there awkwardly for a moment, unsure if you should make yourself comfortable or leave. “Rosette, just speak.” You flinched at the use of your name. Whenever Hongjoong or Seonghwa said it, for some reason it always sounded dangerous coming from them. Threatening. As if you shouldn’t have a name, to begin with. But your name was just the floodgate that you needed. Without hesitation, you asked, “Do you know what Wooyoung has planned?” The spoon in Seonghwa’s hand paused just above the stew in the bowl. You noticed that his grasp on it tightened just enough for his knuckles to go white briefly, before he set the spoon into the bowl and set the bowl aside on the barrel he was using as a tabletop. Seonghwa looked up at you. “Why? Are you going to go along with it?” You bit your lip, glancing down at your feet—away from his piercing stare. “I’m not sure…” “It would be nice to have your debt paid off, wouldn’t it?” Seonghwa mused, a bit darkly. “A debt that isn’t even yours, yet hangs over your head as a constant reminder to why you can’t leave. Because if you do, you know what’ll happen.” “I don’t need the reminder,” you hissed, through ground teeth. “Have we really made you that uncomfortable?” Seonghwa wondered, quietly. His tone softening caught you off guard, and your head snapped up to glance at him in surprise. His gaze was still as intense as it always was, but there was something softer and more understanding about his features at that moment. “I know Wooyoung can be difficult to work with. I know he throws you around and gives you whiplash from all his expectations. I know Hongjoong comes off as harsh and lacking understanding. But I’m really curious—have you ever actually felt uncomfortable with us? Since you left, have you ever wanted to return? Or run away from here?” You frowned, suddenly thinking back to Wooyoung’s words again; wondering why memories from the past were suddenly popping up everywhere tonight, all of a sudden. While you’d never felt entirely comfortable here, with the gang—you’d also never felt threatened. It was true Wooyoung made you feel as though you were disposable, but he’d never actually voiced such a thing, and he never mistreated you. It was a mind game in which he strung you along; you were sure it was something he was doing to make you feel as though you needed to have some sort of worth to be in his and everyone’s presence. But the other members, they’d all always been pleasant. To an extent, of course. Everything was business around here. You’d never felt entirely comfortable, it was true; but, at the very least, you had food to eat and a place to lie your head at the end of the night. You were still stuck in these thoughts when Seonghwa spoke again. “I know what he has planned. It’s not my place to talk about his past, though,” Seonghwa explained. “So I warn you to tread lightly if you do decide to go with him—and be warned of Hongjoong’s temper.” Wooyoung’s past? You wondered, thinking back to his declaration of personal revenge. “But if you ever have really thought about leaving, I don’t think this is the way to do so,” Seonghwa murmured. You almost didn’t catch the words, his voice back to the soft and understanding tone. You frowned, just as he gave you a pointed look and turned away from you, back to his food and whatever it was he’d been working on before you’d entered his tent. “Goodnight, Seonghwa,” you said quietly, recognizing the cue, before turning and stepping out of the tent. Almost immediately, as the flap fell closed behind you, you felt a harsh grip on your wrist that tugged you to the side. You were about to let out a yelp, but before you could do so, another hand clamped down of your mouth. “Shh!” You recognized Wooyoung’s voice before you looked up at him, scowling. He stared down at you for a moment, before his eyes trailed over to the tent you’d just come out of. Then, he let his hand drop from your mouth. “Seriously?” You hissed. “Was that even necessary?” “If I hadn’t done it, you would’ve alerted even the coyotes that you thought there was an intruder,” Wooyoung pointed out. He glanced over your shoulder one more time, before giving you a knowing look. “Were you snooping?” “What’s there to snoop? You have a secret?” “Plenty, love. You know that,” Wooyoung smirked, before giving your wrist a tug and pulling you along across the campsite. You had no choice but to follow him, and as you did so, you noticed Jongho and Yeosang passed out by the dwindling fire—intoxicated on the amount of food they’d overeaten. “Where are we going?” “On an escapade,” Wooyoung declared, glancing over his shoulder at you with a smirk. He let go of your wrist and worked at some finishing touches of readying his horse and saddle. You frowned, suddenly becoming hyper aware that he was readying his horse and not yours. “Wooyoung—” You started, a warning note in your voice. He climbed into the saddle, glancing down at you. “We’re going to go have some fun, maybe stir up some trouble. Get on.” What exactly did he have planned? You wondered, a sinking feeling growing in the pit of your stomach.

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: the Wicked + the Divine 37

Spoilers, obv.

It's a strange job, writing. You think you know something, and you do, and then you realise it's something else. Or rather, something else as well.

While I'd advise against hard categories, there's certainly types of writers. When I was on a panel with Hickman, I believe he described me as god. Which amused me. He was saying that I'm the sort of writer who works like a Christian god, knowing the place and positioning of every leaf, every tree beam, every mote of dust. I see writing as a sprawling machine. I'm the Watchmaker.

This isn't quite the same thing as being a complete planner, but my decisions are deliberate. I'm not someone who doesn't generally know why he's doing something.

Writers who lean more improvisational talk often about looking back and realising what their theme was, or what they were mining and not aware of. I rarely get that. Or rather, it happens so rarely, that I tend to remember almost every occasion I get that perspective. Frankly, more common is making a decision for a reason, forgetting why, and then reverse engineering my own thought process years down the line and realising why past-me made what I felt was the only reasonable decision.

Which isn't to say that's everything. I know what I'm doing for a plan, but there's also the magic of ideas. What hits me, what feels right, places I want to go, and then only realise along the way exactly what part of me is having a conversation with me. This is normally stuff that I'm hiding from myself a little. This is stuff I have trouble admitting. This isn't just stuff that is bad about myself – there's lots of stuff which is bad about myself which I'm explicitly interrogating – but stuff I may not want to deal with until down the path. There's been a few of them. Not many, but a few.

Which makes this issue strange, as it's ended up being both.

It's an issue which was mainly conceived of before the first issue was drawn, set up entirely in issue 3, and has been thought about and talked about internally since (both internally team WicDiv and internally in my own head).

And then, only when the issue drops, do I realise what part of myself I've been mining for a character all along, while consciously thinking I was keeping her at arm’s reach, because I'm petrified of her. It's actually a realisation that's made me alter some things in my daily cycle, as I recognise the place they're from, and why it's bad for me.

As I said, writing is an interesting job. I don't consciously do it for these reasons... but I must do, at least on some level. "What is wrong with us?" is at the heart of most my work, which translates to "What is wrong with me?"

Of course, this is also not exactly necessarily relevant for you, and not the primary thrust of any of this, but it's there, and as these are writer notes, you're going to get some of it. Weird issue.

Preamble over.

Jamie/Matt's Cover: Foreshadowing the darkness section of the issue. We like doing a minimalistic one now and again.

Erica Henderson: This is just an amazing cover. After Squirrel Girl, you'd have an idea what an Erica cover would be, and it wouldn't be this wonderful homage to the the Caravaggio picture. Having a Gentle Annie cover this late is a good thing as well. In love with this.

IFC

The "Ananke. Or Ananke?" was a cut and paste error. We're just relieved it happens now, as I was petrified of typoing an Ananke when I meant Minerva or vice versa for the whole run.

Page 3-14

I suspect by now the past/present structure is pretty clear. We change it up considerably, with what they're showing. Issue 34 was the (majority) of the structure Ananke is working under. 35 is an example of what she does when things go right. 36 is showing the scale of what she did, and a taste of the tactics and so on. 37 is showing what happens when it goes wrong. I suspect by actively saying this in the notes, this is where a certain stripe of reader will try and work out what the other two bits of information are, but relax, we're nearly there and we'll tell you soon enough.

I had drafts of this when the past sequence was longer, but I cut it to the bone. After last issue, I wanted to spend the majority of the issue in the present day. If I could do it in 2 pages, that'd give me 18 pages for the present day.

In my longer drafts, I played with having the opening being 2 pages – so the falling apart starts on a page turn – and the reincarnation was over two pages, so featured a more active freak out that the sensory deprivation is over. Even with space, I'd have likely lost it – scrambling and that kind of panic in comics eats up panels, and isn't always effective. Cutting it to the three panels, showing the highly naturalistic magical appearance, and a single panel of the semi-comatose Minerva, clearly having been through hell.

(I'm going with Minerva as a name, as it's the name we know her by.)

A few words about what Matt did in colours – this just makes me want to go on holiday. Just weird and sad and horrible. Also, a note about "freaking out not always working in comics"? An expression like that does at the bottom of the page.

And then we have the black pages.

So, we're trying to show complete sensory deprivation for ninety years. How do you do it? I've seen people do deprivation comics, and they do it with a panel. For obvious reasons, because by definition nothing happens. In a standard comics world, we would do something like drop a CAP at the start of the page when she's back...

CAP: I SPENT THE LAST 90 YEARS IN NOTHINGNESS.  

And then perhaps, if we really wanted to hand hold, on panel 2 add a...

CAP: THEN I WAS BACK.

But we're not a normal comic. Can we try and to show not tell? Try and get people to have the sense of what that actually is, and force a confrontation of the reality of it (or at least a fraction of the reality of it). Of course we can. As I joke in the back, if we were feeling really fancy, we'd have done 90 black pages.

As the issue was crammed with more interstitials than usual, there was no way this could possibly fit inside a normal sized issue. So we upped the issue size and, equally obviously, kept the price the same, because we're not complete shits.

Now, we're aware that some people won't get it. Some people may not have realised, despite the fact we've done it all the way through, that we've never done less than 20 pages of comics. We've often done more.

We actually put more of a tell than we normally would, in that we mention in the backmatter about how this actually cost us more money than usual, which we ate. Our general go-to motivation is to try and give people stuff they're not expecting, make them think about the form (and structure in life) from every possible angle. Yes, we're over four years into the comic, and we're still pushing stuff where we can.

There was a lot more here (as in, about a thousand words) but I'll spare you – fundamentally, I was fascinated that even with me trying to leave more space for the readers in this final year, we still do those little pushes, which is a symptom of a streak of control-freakery. Thinking about that and my feelings around it finally made me have the realisation I mentioned above – specifically, a “Oh – I know what part of me goes into Morrigan.” All the characters in WicDiv are me, I say. She was an exception. I felt I was mining a lot of things with her, but not necessary myself. I was always scared of her, but she was me all along. Deleting the above is in part about recognising my own control-freakery. I'm increasingly suspicious about these Writer Notes. Yes, they're about sharing and talking and craft, but I'm also aware it's at least in part about not wanting to let go. I have to get over that. I'll be surprised if I do Writer Notes like this for any future project.

So yeah. That was a journey.

Re: Page of blackness. Would I go back and not do it? Of course. I think it's a neat idea, and fun. It's the emotional mess that is me that I worry about.

15

NOTHING TO BE SCARED OF is a lift from Adam Ant's ‘Prince Charming’ (whose video take on Cinderella is actually 100% a WicDiv origin sequence, which makes me think of the edited Disney Cinderella gif with the exploding head. Cinderella is very WicDiv.

Anyway – a lift from ‘Prince Charming’, but perverted and turned very literal. Minerva is evidently afraid of a literal nothing.

16-17

As I said last time, I decided to concentrate on Baph's confession (and Laura's reveal) last issue, so I had moved a bunch of plot beats from there to here. I knew I had 18 pages, so more space to work. I obviously played with the idea of doing the Cassandra arrest this issue, but realised I could do the reveal from Baph's text at the end of last issue, to give an actual minor cliffhanger. As such, this means that we have to explain what happened here. How to do that?

Well, obviously we could do it with just Baph and Persephone chatting, but that seems like dead pages. I had the idea of doing it from the outside, to move the focus away from the pantheon out into the world. We don't get many moments of perspective any more (though I suspect they'll come back hard in the last arc) so this was useful.

It's also another example of particularly pointed glaring at fan behaviour. There is a lot of casual cruelty here.

The scene they describe is literally Cassandra's Cassandra moment. We see a little footage of this next issue.

I originally wanted this sequence to be at Elephant & Castle, as its curling mess of tunnels struck me as a good pace for such a confrontation. There's no escalators though, which creates a few limits, and I realised it'd likely be better to return to Highbury & Islington.

You'll also note the other thing this sequence does – which is orientate the reader with the layout of the station. When Morrigan and Baphomet actually fight, they go the opposite direction to where these two walk. It's a fairly common action film trick  – travel through the setting so you know where stuff is, and then blow it up.

I love the pinky purple shirt here. Nice call, Matt. If I wore colours, you could dress me.

18-19

This issue, despite the space, is cut really tight. I look at this and wonder if I'd have cut it a different way to get more pages to use later.

Back to the Underground, limited backgrounds, handy when you're heading towards a visual showcase like the last half of the issue, both in terms of workload, and also to create a dark visual which is then exploded.

"Can everyone stop dying? It's getting really fucking depressing" has been in the Baph dialogue file ever since issue 1, I think. "How to get ahead in show business" was one of the titles I played with for the end of issue 33's interstitial, but went with Talking Heads. Clearly, it's a very Baph line.

The Fancy Pager, as seen back in Imperial Phase II when Dio gave it him.

It's good to see these two talking. It's very strong moves by Jamie, with lots of tiny nods. The "why I like him" sequence is very human.

20-21

This is one I feel I could have cut to a page if I really wanted to, but when Minerva is only lightly in play this issue, giving her more screen time seemed worthwhile. Space = Meaning remember. Plus it means showing more of the heads as well. See what I mean? I could have cut it, sure, but I know why I didn't.

Like the lighting here as well. Matt does great stuff.

I'll say this – Minerva has been a delight to write this arc. I mean, horrible as well. I'm amazed at her casual villainy, and how she turns a scene. I realised early in the arc this is basically me flexing the Kid Loki muscles, in a different kind of workout.

Another text-based scene. I'm thinking about how we use text messages so much in this book. Hmm.

The last expression with the needle is golden.

22-23-24

And the gears start turning on this awful machine.

Second panel is a little like the "Morrigan merges from behind shot from issue 5 and issue 12". I'd have made it a 1:1 copy of it, but it's a space-jealous approach.

Persephone removed, leaving us with Baphomet and Morrigan.

From now on is an odd one. It's what I can only think of as a set-piece. A series of beats we've been chewing over and moving around and talking about forever. The road is set in issue three.  In anything like this, it's complicated. When I talk about WicDiv becoming messier as it heads into its final year, it's things like this.

Want to talk about structure? I don't normally do this, but it strikes me as a useful focus.

As far as I can see, the rest of the issue is primarily wrestling with three main plot threads, to different degrees. There's more, but I think they're the main ones.

Firstly, and probably least, is Baphomet. It's a little early to explicitly name his hamartia, but throughout Baphomet's failings are primarily responses to his feelings around death, and as a sub-set to that, his relationship to violence. He's killed accidentally. We've seen him try to kill repeatedly. Is Baphomet actually capable of cold-blooded murder?

Secondly, there's Morrigan. I think Dionysus nailed Morrigan back in Imperial Phase. Dio wants the best for people. Morrigan thinks she knows what's best for people. When people do not skew to her narrative, she turns frustrated, angry and uses increasingly immoral and abusive tactics to make people obey her. People make her so angry, because if only they would play their part, and do exactly what she says, it'd be better for everyone. She sees herself as the good person who knows what makes people happy. In the most basic terms, she's a control freak who has a story she wants everyone to conform to.

Thirdly, there's Baphomet and Morrigan's relationship. Which is more complicated than I could put into a paragraph, but is mainly about the two lines of their bullshit intersecting. It can be compelling. At a distance, it looks like a gothic romance. That's what Morrigan thinks it is. That's what Morrigan needs it to be. She's the heroine. Baph's the hero. He just keeps on fucking up his lines. Morrigan does not understand or agree that her relationship is abusive, and does not understand that she's using Baph as a narcissistic prop to satisfy her own needs.

While it's important for all of them, I think only one of these three threads climaxes here.

Anyway – this sets up. We slow down, and Baphomet actually realises what's happening. Baphomet, on some level, believes he deserves his treatment, as much as he chafes and pulls away. When he sees what Morrigan is capable of doing to someone else, he gets a moment of clarity.

Badb, the symbol of all of Morrigan's frustrations when her self-image is questioned, arrives.

God, Page 24, depresses me. It's such a stark page by Jamie and Matt. Everything slows down. Big panels. Big expressions.

25-30

When we originally conceived this, I thought it may be actually the whole issue, and do this, juxtaposed with a whole look at their relationship. In the end, I didn't have space, and likely didn't like it either. It'd have ended up juxtaposing more violence with sex, which I find distasteful and cheap.

Instead, it's written in a Marvel Method structure. I write the fight sequence and the flashbacks in parallel – there's a suggested solution to it, which Jamie went another direction on. I think it was basically a column on the right.

The original draft had more panels, and went on further in the flashback to the morning after. We then played with doing more periods – I had a version where it'd run through the entire length of Baph and Morri's relationship (I even put the whole thing in a document). But, as I was writing that, I realised the best solution was to just crop to the initial meeting in a shitty university club.

Yes, there was dialogue to this exchange. I may find a home for it before the end of WicDiv.

I mean – that's something odd about writing. For something like this, you generate so much stuff to even find what's going to go on the page. Fraction was talking about this in the latest Image+, in terms of the stuff that doesn't go on the page. Chrissy occasionally talks about comic writing having a lot to do with poetry, in terms of being about intensifying meaning into as small a space as possible.

Jamie and Matt do astounding things in this sequence. It's a fight sequence, and in genre comics, fight sequences take the place that songs do in musicals. Jamie chooses his moments, and Matt finds a way to navigate between the dancing timelines. Things like the third panel on 25, with the uncanny greens of Morrigan and Baph's red bisecting the panel says a lot. The divisions between the two in Jamie's art is also fascinating.

Christ – the mess of people in the first panel, and what happens to bodies when they get in the way.

I had a draft where Baph making this a nod to Sandman more explicit, but cut it.

In the flashback sequence, Cam saying something and Morrigan wincing, and me not needing to say that clearly Cam is making a crap joke is pleasing. It obviously is Jamie, but it also speaks to the characters. You know exactly how the first flirtation would go.

Jamie asked me "Does the fight have to be on an escalator?" and I basically said no, but... escalators are liminal spaces between the underworld and the surface world. They just seem loaded. And just as importantly, it's a place I just haven't seen nearly as much action as I'd like in genre comics. It's a space that many city people cross daily, and so will be familiar with, and so will perhaps think about as they go about. Jamie got it. Thanks, Jamie.

Morrigan as crow-beast is horrible.

Various people have asked what the notes are. It's ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’. I think I wrote ‘I'm Not Okay (I Promise)’ in the script. I think Jamie did it as you can get the notes right with ‘Black Parade’, which is a good call. The ‘I'm not okay’ was a callback to issue seven, but MCR generally is good.

Top of page 28 is another one for Matt – just how he works the long horizontal space.

End of Page 29 – Baphomet has his moment. He could end this now. And he finds he can't.

I don't know about you, but – for all his posture – I don't think Baphomet can kill anyone, and certainly not Morrigan. You can compare and contrast with Baal, if you wish. They're very much the bookends of certain forms of performed masculinity.

I wrote this as an impaling kind of move – but due to the panel shape, you can't show that, and capture the expression simultaneously. Instead, Jamie frames it as a swing, which does the same job.

30 – Baphomet may not be able to, but Morrigan certainly can.

This is horrible too, though Matt's colouring makes it a little more distancing. I suspect if I did have an extra page, I'd have used it here, to both make Baph's death clearer, and spend more space on Morrigan's realisation of what she's done.

31

This works, but I suspect for the trade I may change this interstitial to Baphomet. Baphomet's symbol is a skull here, but a little more stressing would likely help.

Title here is an early Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds single.

32-34

Persephone's captions are back – the stumble through an underworld path to find them made me think of the scene in issue seven, so the howl of the Morrigan, then comedy, now something else, is nodded to.

I love how Jamie and Matt have moved the mood from supernatural to hard disaster movie realism instantly. This is a tonal snap. The bodies, the people lying down. This is really horrible.

I suspect "Tragedy gives ‘clusterfuck’ ideas above its station" is one of my harder nods towards intent.

And back to Marian, the heroine of her gothic novel, confronted with undeniable evidence that she's a murdering monster who absolutely was driven by her own selfish desires. She denies it anyway, finding a way to persuade herself it's not true.

No, she's the hero. She's going to bring Baphomet back at the cost of her own life. That must prove she's the good person, right?

Morrigan is continuing her abuse the only way she can, while preserving her all-important idea that she was the good person.

So, of the three stories I mention, the one which climaxes is Morrigan's solo plot. She rode her own story off the edge of a cliff rather than face the reality of what she has done. The other two, and the other ones, carry on, especially Baph and Morri's relationship. Baph has to live with this.

When I was first explaining this to C, it had the desired effect. I then talked about my actual concern with it – that Marian's too convincing. Some people will take it as a "She loved him really" beat, and could then be taken as Abusers Love Their Victims Really. C got it, but noted, it's just too good to not do. I agree. I think it's one of the best scenes in WicDiv, and I had to hit it as hard as we could, and then go on to deal with the aftermath of it.

See you next issue.