#literally my college experience songs
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bruh... songs that just... are your personal experience
#fucking wild that we as humans share experiences and perspectives#Doing This Again!#Bears in Trees#It's All Futile! It's All Pointless!#Lovejoy#literally my college experience songs
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i started a supercorp portrait of a lady on fire au like three years ago. i'm never going to finish it, but the writing style is pretty cool, so i want to share it. so um enjoy the prologue and a bit of chapter one?
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Prologue. Bonnelles, France. 1786.
“First, my contours,” Kara said, her voice soft and level. She looked out upon the dozen or so young women, their eyes darting back and forth from their papers to Kara herself. “The outline,” she continued. The increasingly swift sound of scratching charcoal prompted Kara to further instruct, “Not too fast. Take time to look at me.” She paused. “See how my arms are placed.”
At that moment, Kara saw the painting.
She swallowed and took in a breath; she schooled her expression before letting out the air with a pathetically soft “My hands.” Her students’ gaze followed her verbal direction, now observing as Kara’s fingers curled with remembrance. Their own hands now began to sketch the slope of hers—the slope that had once coaxed breathy moans from a lover, the slope that had once created that very painting in all of its hollow longing.
Kara felt her heart rate accelerating, and her attempts at calming deep breaths only made her shoulders shake unsteadily. “Who brought that painting out?” Her eyes darted around, landing on each possible offender, as she tensed her core and adopted a stern countenance.
Every student dutifully turned to look at the work.
It was an especially young girl who finally lifted her hand. “I brought it. From the stock room. Should I have not?”
Kara’s “no” felt like a brick, its weight threatening to pry tears from her reddening eyes. So Kara took another swallow, a handful of blinks, a few more steadying breaths.
“Did you paint it?” the girl asked innocently. Nia, her name was? She stared at Kara, oblivious to the flood of sound overwhelming Kara’s mind and echoing in the cavern of her heart.
“Yes,” Kara uttered softly, the word barely audible as they fell from her lips. “A long time ago.”
Nia’s head snapped back to examine the painting once more. It stood on an old but sturdy easel, tattooed and scarred but still standing. The artwork itself was brooding, with a white sun bleeding into a dark vignette. Heavy clumps of clouds occupied the sky and caged some of the sun’s rays, so the fire burning behind the woman was bright enough in comparison to create a dragging shadow of her figure. The flames crawled up the back of her windswept dress, bringing sharp tension to an otherwise lulling, melancholy landscape.
“What’s the title?”
The sound of the sea began to swell in Kara’s head. Her lips trembled. Her body unwittingly swayed slightly. “Portrait of a Lady on Fire.”
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Chapter I. The island of Brittany, France, and the surrounding sea. 1779.
Kara squinted into the distance, her face scrunching up a bit as she desperately tried to shield her eyes from the harsh glare of the sun on the water. For all its gorgeous teals and sparkling peaks, it certainly did make her wish for one of those brimmed hats the rowers were all wearing. With every one of their paced paddles, the cork-like little canoe bobbed haphazardly. Kara rather felt as if she were in the wine glass of a thoroughly drunken Marie Antoinette.
At least she wasn’t prone to seasickness.
She still felt quite unsteady, though, being thrown about and forced to pathetically grab onto the boat’s low walls. She leaned forward, trying to regain her balance and ground herself despite the absence of ground.
The wooden pallet holding her canvas was, apparently, as unstable as she was, and the next thing Kara knew, it had been lurched off of the boat like vomit from a drunkard. Kara watched helplessly as it thrashed among the choppy waves, the sea carrying it a few feet from the boat.
The chief rower met her desperate look with exhausted resignation; he ceased his paddling as Kara shed her overcoat and placed a precarious foot on the edge of the canoe.
With a strained creak from the boat’s wood, she jumped into the water, dress billowing behind her. Her first gasp for air upon emerging from the water was audible; she could feel the effort in her throat. Her arms moved in laborious little arcs as she slowly made her way towards the floating pallet and finally made a desperate reach for it. Kara’s fingers grasped onto a wooden board, and she pulled herself up onto it with a grunt.
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The incessant wind upon the sea was certainly not helping Kara. Dripping wet, she wrapped herself up in her overcoat in a pitiful plea for warmth. She held the edges of the garment up to her lips, the sensation of the dry fabric bringing her some comfort as she closed her eyes and left herself to the mercy of the mighty sea.
But the interminable rocking of the feeble boat wouldn’t allow her any rest.
Kara wasn’t very religious, not anymore. Yet, the sight of the cliffs and coast of Brittany moved her to relieved prayer.
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The sun had already begun to set as Kara trekked up the sandy coast. Her legs ached with every stumbling, unsure step—maybe she was a bit seasick after all—and her hands were tired of having to grip her full skirt to keep it out of her way.
She paused on the rocks, taking a moment to manually wring some of the water out of her skirt. She filled her lungs with an arduous breath before slinging the rope holding the pallet over her shoulder. Next came the fabric sling, which housed her trunk of personal items—she positioned it on her back with careful poise.
The journey up the cliffs and towards the trees was exhausting. Kara’s skirt required repositioning every few seconds, the rope was digging into her shoulder, and the pallet and trunk slammed into her back with each wobbling step. By the time she reached the straight path up to the residence, her breaths were heavy and pained, and the sun was nearly fully hidden beneath the horizon.
A soft light emanated from the windows above the mansion’s door, helping Kara feel a bit more secure as she knocked. A short blonde woman answered her summon and introduced herself with a flat “I’m Eve.” She opened the door a bit wider and gestured with her body for Kara to come in.
Eve held a small candle as she guided Kara up the stairs, the sounds of their shoes echoing through the grand yet starkly undecorated hallway. The walls of the stairwell were cement bricks, and the wrought iron bannister was rather plain and geometric.
They came to a stop in front of a similarly void room, bare save a few heavy curtains and a daybed. The raised panels along these walls matched the white-painted wood of the window frames, and they gave the chamber some elegant character.
While Eve entered the comparatively less intimidating room, Kara stayed back a moment, taking in the shafts of muted blue light from the windows and the contrasting warm glow of leaping flames from the central fireplace.
Eve crouched down to poke at the fire as Kara set down her belongings. “It was a reception room,” Eve explained. “Though I’ve never seen it used.”
The fire crackled pleasantly. “Have you been here long?” Kara inquired.
“Three years,” Eve answered, directing her attention back to the fire.
Kara peeled off her overcoat and draped it along the wainscoting. “Do you like it here?”
“Yes,” Eve said simply as she stood up. She turned to Kara, meeting her eyes now as her hands smoothed over her skirt. “I’ll let you get dry.” And with a nod, she was on her way.
Kara watched her every step.
Once the door closed, she hastily began removing her overskirt. It fell to the dark herringbone floor with an unglamorous thud.
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There was no method or grace to the way Kara wrapped her hand around the rusting crowbar, but with a few jerks, she’d managed to successfully pry the top off of the pallet.
After setting down the wood cover, Kara extended her hand, letting it fall clumsily onto the slick canvas in front of her. It was still wet, and her hand’s small circular movement caused moisture to pool at her fingertips, as if her touch had beckoned the water. So her hand withdrew, and Kara slid the canvas out from its container. Her eyes danced over the surface as she considered how to dry it, holding it in front of herself like the Communion host of an evening Mass.
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Kara decided to accompany her drying canvas, which was now positioned next to the fireplace. Stripped naked, she sat in front of the fire and pulled her legs towards herself—she was vulnerable, sitting there bare and in a new environment, and the action made her feel a bit more small, compact, and safe.
Kara set down her candle so she could light her tobacco pipe with the flames. Her large, smoky exhales grounded her, in a way, with the familiar sight and smell acting as a sort of sedative. And she stared forward, expression blank but unmistakably worn.
---
Kara walked barefoot along the cement floor, making her way through the hall and to the pantry room wrapped in nothing but her robe-like smock.
#again i have no intention of finishing so be forewarned etc#supergirl#supercorp poalof au#i have been feeling a bit weird going through my old work bc. i don't think i've really improved in the three years since starting this???#and i quite literally haven't written anything in 2023 other than like the 1000ish words to finish up this final chapter of tree of my song#&those thousand words genuinely feel worse than my old writing#because i'm out of practice i think#it's weird bc writing is something i think of as super important to me - like in less than a month i'll literally be at community college a#ain despite how bad my experience was last time with it bc i theoretically want to take classes that will make me a better writer#so like blah blah blah do i want to dedicate more of myself and my energy towards writing long term or do i just like the idea of being a#writer.#blah blah blah if i had to do a rose colored glasses on this all it would be. since january i have read 60something books and before this y#ar i hadnt been an avid reader in ages. and most of those books have been in the genre/niche i want to end up writing in#so i was learning writing by reading in that sense#hmm etc etc#i should probably stop taking myself and all of this so seriously lol idk#i'm theoretically back into writing and trying to prioritize it more again so (thumbs up emoji)
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normalize relating to the vibe and message to a song instead of the lyrics
#saying this as i#a fairly young aroace person still in school#listen to fluorescent adolescent by arctic monkeys#a song about a woman who's sad about her sex life not being as fun and exciting and just happy as it when she was a college student or w/e#which is so real of her bc like#life does kinda start to suck more as you get older!!!#at least in my experience#not sure about y'all on this one tbh#but yea i get it#even if the whole not literally sleeping w/ other people thing isn't for me#plus it's a super song#so song#很 fire#fluorescent adolescent#arctic monkeys#music
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I love college radio. You can tune in and hear literally anything. Yesterday, I tuned in, and just heard odd screeching. I tuned in again like 20 minutes ago, and it's been only Bob Dylan. They are playing so many of my favorite Dylan songs. I am ecstatic.
#LITERALLY BALLAD OF A THIN MAN IS ON RIGHT NOW#YEAHHHHHHH#and like. i went on the website to see which show was on but theres no info on the dj or any description or anything#i wanna tell this person how much im enjoying their song picks but i dont wanna call in and interrupt them#speaking of calling in. yesterday someone called in to my radio show and said they were really enjoying it!!!#i thought it was the local record store owner that francis and i are friends with so i texted him and thanked him but it turns out it wasnt#so whoever you are. if youre out there. thank you and apologies for being awkward because it was the first time anyones ever#called in to my show xD#ok im done rambling xD feel free to rb and share your own college radio experiences#update: so we went down to the radio station because it's in the basement of our building and it turns out...#i know bob dylan guy. he sits next to me in english class.
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From Gaza to Europe: A Young Girl's Dream is Finally Coming True!
Vetted by association (Mahmoud khalaf) here.
Before the genocidal war on Gaza, I was immersed in university life and enjoyed studying English literature at the Islamic University in Gaza (IUG), which was utterly destroyed by Isr*ael. They destroyed the place that helped me find my passion: performing on stage in English.
youtube
My family and I have been displaced multiple times and we ended up now in a tent that does not protect us from any bullets, shrapnel, or the cold and rain of winter. I had never thought I would have to live in such hellish conditions at the age of 20, an age at which I was expecting to be studying at university and enjoying the company of my friends like any other girls my age around the world!!!
youtube
Below is my letter of acceptance from Mary Immaculate College (MIC) in Ireland, the place where I am reclaiming and achieving my dreams.
Amid the pain, horrors of war and many near death experiences, luckily, I was awarded a scholarship to do a BA in English Language and Literature at Mary Immaculate College in Ireland. A glimmer of hope shone in my sky, happiness rushed strongly through my veins, and a voice within me roared: "A unique destiny awaits you, Sarah. Seize this opportunity, honor your people abroad, and use your talent to tell the world about Palestine and touch their hearts."
Read more about the scholarship here.
I am literally at a crossroads at this stage in my life. I could keep running from a place to another with my family searching for safety and wasting years of my life without education. Or, you could help me evacuate with my family to Egypt and then go to study at Mary Immaculate College in Ireland.
Please do NOT decide to look away and send my only opportunity for a good education to go with the winds. Please boost my campaign by:
donating, reblogging and sharing.
@fivetrench @nogender-onlystars @thefrogmanmpp
@a-shade-of-blue @s1x-foot-deep @inolongerknowwhatimdoing
@kordeliiius @secondary-objective-active @mavigator
@lun4rc0w @selamat-linting @dude-iloveu
@jesncin @estrellasrojas @loveaankilaq @ddeck
@time-was-over @possum-with-a-banjo @buttercuparry
@mar64ds @blossomdapple @mothfishing
@alexander-the-alright @sixty-silver-wishes
@newporters @punkitt-is-here @ethereal-night-fairy
@rainintothesea @madocactus @queen-erika-the-songful
@kathles
@fancysmudges @brokenbackmountain @mothblossoms
@aleciosun @fluoresensitive @khizuo @lesbiandardevil
@transmutationisms @schoolhater @timogsilangan @appsa
@buttercuparry @sayruq @sar-soor @akajustmerry
@annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @feluka @tortiefrancis
@flower-tea-fairies @tsaricides @riding-with-the-wild-hunt
@brutaliakhoa @raelyn-dreams @troythecatfish @theropoda
@tamarrud @4ft10tvlandfangirl @queerstudiesnatural
@northgazaupdates2 @baby-girl-aaron-dessner @nabulsi @sygol
@junglejim4322 @heritageposts @chososhairbuns @palistani
@imjustheretotrytohelp @ibtisams @vakarians-babe @90-ghost
@fairuzfan @humanvoicebox @plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural
@stil-lindigo @soon-palestine @communistchilchuck @ghost-and-a-half
@rebecca-levin-art @mangocheesecakes @transmutationisms
#Sarah from Gaza#vetted#Verified#vetted by association#mahmoud khalaf#gaza#all eyes on gaza#news on gaza#gaza fundraiser#gaza genocide#gaza strip#free gaza#gazaunderattack#free palestine#falastine ask#palestinian genocide#save palestine#i stand with palestine#all eyes on palestine#save gaza#mutual aid#!!!#rb#signal boost#Pales#Youtube
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yes, i'm ready (to fall in love)
── ˚₊✩‧₊ genre: smut, fluff, mild angst
── ˚₊✩‧₊ synopsis: after reader is persuaded into putting herself back out there by long time friend, shoko, she successfully ends up scoring a date. unbeknownst to her, though, the gods have different plans—and one of them seems especially interested in her relationship with ex-husband, gojo satoru.
or in other words: a failed date results in a night of passion amongst former lovers.
── ˚₊✩‧₊ contents: 13.5k words, ex-husband!gojo + co-parent!gojo, slight dub-con (alcohol use), dumbification, overstimulation, vaginal penetration, unconventional form of contraception (pull-out method - don’t do this), pussy eating + one oc for the sake of plot
── ˚₊✩‧₊ note: i know this is really long and most people don’t have the attention span for it but PLEASE give it a chance! this is literally the longest piece of fiction i’ve ever written and i’m really proud of it :(
songs to listen to for best reading experience: donny hathaway - i love you more than you’ll ever know barbara mason - i’m ready partynextdoor - showing you bryson tiller - been that way
After you divorced your ex-husband, and decided to devote all of your time to being a mother, you never really considered getting back into the dating world. Not that you didn’t eventually want to settle down with someone new, but the dating world now was just so–different.
Different in the sense that meeting people organically was becoming increasingly difficult. It wasn’t like how it used to be in high school or college, and it really didn’t take that much effort then to get a man’s number by the end of your outing.
When you were in your early twenties, a brush of your hand on a man’s arm would’ve worked. An ‘accidental’ bump into someone at a grocery store or cafe might’ve ended in a quick lay. Using these tactics today, though, might earn you some weird looks–have–earned you some weird looks.
You’re on call with a friend from college when you begin recounting something embarrassing that happened to you recently. At first, the conversation started out about all of the professors you would’ve slept with (if given the chance), but then, one thing led to another, and she asked you something that made you wince:
“‘How’s your dating life been since, you know, Satoru?’”
There’s a heavy silence from your end, and she almost thinks you hung up.
“I mean, if you want to share,” she splurts, attempting to approach this gently, “I know that after the divorce, I wasn’t there for you like you needed, but I’d like to make up for that–if you’d let me.”
Shoko’s always been like that. Blunt and charismatic, but gentle and zephyr-light in the way she cares for those closest to her. It’s a trait of hers that you admire, because not so many people would care to treat your heart with such fragility.
“No, it’s okay. You can ask, you know, it’s not this secret thing,” you start, sighing before continuing, “it happened, and it was a mutual decision.”
Shoko hums on the other side, “Well, I’m still sorry. I let us go without talking for far too long…”
“Well, I accept your apology, even if it’s unwarranted. Like I said, it was mutual and…there wasn’t really an intense grieving period for me? The only thing that hurt me is that you distanced yourself. I mean, the girls did miss their aunt Shoko…” you say, trying to make her feel bad but not too bad.
“I know, I know, I’m a bad aunt,” she jests, then the tone shifts to something serious. “I think I was just scared because both of you were my best-friends. I didn’t want to ‘pick sides’, but I see now that it was a mutual decision, so I’m assuming you two are on good-terms?”
Again, you pause, “I mean, yeah. Satoru will always be my best friend. We may not be together romantically but he’s such an integral part of my life, I couldn’t do this–all of this–alone.” After you say it, you feel a weight being lifted off of your chest that you didn’t know was even there.
You think nobody would understand if you told them this. You think they’d question how a person could divorce someone who’s supposed to be their best-friend. And with the way you describe it, they’d probably think you were still in love with him. But Shoko’s different, she gets it. Which is why saying it to her came so easily.
“He is a great father,” she chimes in, “but you two rushed into it so quickly, I don’t think either of you had time to discover yourselves after college.”
Although she can’t see it, you smile. Because she gets it. Even if time did place itself in between the two of you, she was there for most of it, when things were still touch-and-go. When things were fresh, and clumsy.
“Exactly, that was our biggest gripe,” you admit, “We didn’t afford ourselves that time to grow, and I think that hindered our relationship. We weren’t husband and wife first, we were parents–and we were young, way too young.”
“You made it, though,” Shoko tries to brighten the mood, “you’re both amazing parents, and I know those beautiful girls that you created are lucky to have you.”
The intimacy of the conversation sends your emotions into overdrive. You quickly realize how much you missed her, how much you yearned to talk to her. To reconnect on this level.
A single tear cascades down your cheek, and you try not to sound like you’re crying when you say, “Ok, enough about that. You wanted to know about my shitty dating life, right?”
It happened last week, the grocery store incident. You were out picking up a few things for dinner when you spotted a cute guy standing outside of the aisle a few rows from you. He was fit beyond measure, in looks and strength, and was wandering around aimlessly in pursuit of red pepper flakes.
Coincidentally, you just happened to be in the seasoning aisle, and like the good samaritan you were, decided to personally hand-deliver it to him.
You wince as you vividly recall the embarrassing ordeal that ensued immediately after.
“Hey,” you peer from behind the aisle, with a bottle of red pepper flakes in tow. “I heard you mumbling about finding this, and you looked pretty lost, so I thought I’d pick ‘em out for you.”
The man’s brows furrow briefly before his lips up-turn into a grateful smile, “Oh, cool, thank you so much!” As quickly as the conversation started, it ends even quicker. He gives you a final nod of endearment before he’s turning around on his heels to resume his shopping.
“God, could he be any more dense? The men today really make you work for it, huh?” you mumble to yourself, pulling the bosom of your blouse down until a good amount of cleavage is on display. “Okay, alright. You got this, you got this. This always used to work, right? Yeah, men love boobs.”
Walking up to the man again, you try a different approach–a bolder approach. “Not to be a bother but I was wondering if I could-”
“Babe? Oh, there you are,” a new voice interjects. The owner of the voice emerges from around the corner and walks up to the man with a cart and a baby in tow. You’re stunned, to say the least. All you can do is stand there and blink in complete and utter dumbfoundment. As you remain in their presence, you take a moment to analyze the woman. She’s gorgeous, and toned. A real model-type broad, with feline-ish features that make so much sense paired with the man who appears to be her partner.
Oh, you think, and apparently say aloud, too. That’s when the woman turns to you, finally acknowledging your much smaller, and much quieter presence.
“Hi, can we help you?” she smiles, and it’s actually genuine. Toothy and perfect, and totally not jealous. You blink once, twice, before gathering your wits to answer her question.
“Yeah, uh, no. I actually, uhm, was helping your h-husband. He was looking for red pepper flakes,” you mutter embarrassedly, and point to the bottle in his hand. Upon further observation, you notice that she isn’t exactly wearing a ring. You find this odd, especially because his not wearing a ring is what encouraged you to pursue him. Carefully, you prod.
“If I may ask, how come neither of you are wearing rings?” The couple gives each other a look, one that makes you feel like the odd man out. A look that is universally known, and without a doubt, could easily be translated to: ‘did this chick really just ask that?’
Still, you smile as you wait for an answer. The woman takes the initiative. “Yeah, we don’t really believe in rings, isn’t that right, babe?” she says so matter-of-factly. You blink again for what seems like the thousandth time, because of all things, you did not expect that to come out of her mouth. Her husband is quick to validate her statement.
“Yeah, we think rings are unnecessary, you know? You don’t need a piece of metal to confirm your feelings,” he says walking to his partner’s side and wrapping an arm around her.
Disgustingly, the two give each other googly eyes before locking lips briefly. You can tell they’re the type to probably share this information with just about any soul who asks. Today, you just happened to be that unfortunate soul.
“Are you married?” she queries, tilting her head against her husband’s chest.
“I was, now we just…co-parent,” you purse your lips, ready for this entire interaction to be over. The woman frowns at your answer, and this time it’s not as genuine.
“Awe, well, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It was actually a mutual decision,” you quip.
“Okay,” she smiles, widening her eyes at her husband to signal a departure, “well, it was nice meeting you, and thank you for the red pepper flakes.”
The family turns away and heads to the front where check-out is. You don’t even buy the items you intended to purchase, just leave your cart in the middle of whatever aisle you abandoned it and leave the store.
“Oh, baby, you didn’t?” Shoko asks in horror. You nod your head, still forgetting she can’t see you and the way you’re sliding down against the wall.
“I did, and I shan't ever again,” a laugh erupts from your throat.
“I mean, fuck, are we getting old? ‘Don’t believe in rings,’” she mumbles, “Don’t believe in rings, my ass! Is this what the youth are doing these days? Not proposing with rings?”
Now that you think about it, you wonder how that would even work. “Yeah, right? I mean, how does that even work? ‘Will you marry me? But, actually, you should know I don’t have a ring for you, so people will have to guess that we’re together purely based on vibes and energy,’” you mock, in a not-so-great man voice.
Shoko’s laughing so hard by the end of your bit that she breaks the sound barrier, and the sound that makes on the phone sends you into your own fit of laughter. You laugh so hard it seems like a stream of pee comes out. Curse your developed incontinence after motherhood.
“God, you’re so stupid, I can’t breathe,” she says exasperatedly, and you know that on the other side she’s probably keeling over in her bed.
“Oh, please. I bet you haven’t laughed this hard in a long time, bitch.”
“I haven’t,” she cackles. This back-and-forth continues until the two of you settle down enough to continue discussing your (pee-inducing) love life.
“You tried any dating apps?”
It’s a simple and valid question, but it only makes you laugh even harder. You only stop when the other side of the line goes quiet. “Wait, seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously. It’s what everyone’s doing these days! You’re not that old, you know.”
“Shut up,” you kid, “ it’s just that I never considered it. I mean, dating apps feel so impersonal. How serious do people even take it?”
“Sure, there’s people who use it for casual hook-ups and stuff, but a lot of people do come out of it with a relationship. Just don’t knock it ‘till you try it.”
“Oh?” you muse, curious. You wish Shoko could see your face, and the weird little dance your brows were doing. “Shoko, have you used a dating app before?”
The brunette kisses her teeth. “Can’t get anything past you.”
“Never.”
There’s a sense of hesitance but you encourage her to elaborate because ‘she became estranged from you for almost a decade and needed to pay her dues’. Sighing defeatedly, she eventually acquiesces.
“Fine, fine, maybe I’ve…been on a few dates,” she starts, “–and had a few one night stands, maybe more than a few, and maybe even dated a guy that turned into my stalker–”
“Ieiri Shoko! You naughty, naughty girl! Wait, stalker?”
“To make a long story short, I got a restraining order on that creep. Anyway,” she segues, attempting to change the subject, “We should make you a profile!”
For the rest of your phone call, Shoko guides you through all of the dating app basics. She offers her expert advice as you scroll through your camera roll for potential photos to use. You go through about a hundred before you finally settle on five that she really likes.
The one that she tells you to put first is a photo of you in a bikini. It’s a few years old but she says you look ‘radiant’ and that your ‘tits were practically spilling out of the cups’. Plus, for further consolation, she says most people on dating apps are liars.
“Everyone’s got at least one old photo on their profile, doesn’t make you a catfish,” she quips, “just means you’re a nostalgic person!”
“Right…”
The next one is a selfie. You’re smiling big in it, showing your gums, and it’s genuine. Shoko says guys like those types of photos because it shows them that you’re approachable. It also won her over because it’s fairly recent, too.
Out of all your photos, there’s only a select few that were taken within the year. You had to admit to her that you never really took photos of yourself anymore. Satoru took most of your candids. Still, she had a mission. And she wasn’t going to be satisfied until she stuck around to see your first match.
“After the selfie you should put the one of you with the girls.”
The picture she’s referring to is one Satoru also took. You remember that day fondly, and even now, the memories feel like a warm embrace.
about 8 years ago . . .
“Dad, mom, look! Hurry!” Hana, your oldest, shouts. Satoru and you are sitting on a blanket up on the sand dunes with Haruki, who’s trying her best to make a sand castle–to no avail.
“What is it, hon?” Satoru and you rush over to her, snatching toddler Haruki in the same breath. When you get to the scene, a flood of warmth washes over you upon discovering the ‘threat’.
“See, it’s baby turtles!” Hana’s squatting in the sand, watching with pure and unfettered fascination as the hatchlings crawl north to the ocean. When she looks up at you, with eyes so bright, and a smile so big that’s missing two of her front teeth, you want to cry.
“Oh, hon, that’s beautiful,” you gasp, lowering to your haunches so that you can join her. Satoru is about to follow suit before deciding at the last minute to go back to the blanket. When he returns, he snaps a picture unbeknownst to you. Eventually, though, you turn your gaze to him and he captures–what he used to think then–the ‘prettiest’ photo of you.
“You sneaking photos of me?” you squint, pointing at him. He trods closer until he’s standing above you. Then he snaps another. Your head’s tilted up, and you’ve got one eye open, and the other closed because of the sun. He always liked when you squinted like that because it made your nose do this cute little scrunch.
“Yup, ‘cause you’re my muse.”
You’re pulled out of your daydream when Shoko says your name on the other line.
“You still there?”
“Yeah, it’s just…”
“Just what?” she queries, waiting for a response.
“I wanna use it, but my ex-husband took it. It feels weird, you know? And do I want to use a photo of me with the girls?”
“Hon, who cares if Satoru took the photo? It’s still a good photo, and to answer your second question, why wouldn’t you include a picture with your girls?”
“I don’t know, I guess I’m just afraid no one will be interested. Nothing about a picture of a mom with her two daughters exactly screams ‘fuck me’.”
Shoko lets out a small chuckle but you’re being serious. “Oh, sweetie. You’re so cute. Milfs are in these days, I don’t think I’m the one getting old, I think it’s just you!”
“Ha-ha, laugh at the mom,” you feign annoyance, but give her a laugh in return.
“But seriously, please use that photo. Nobody’s going to skip you just because you’re a mom. A lot of men on there have kids of their own, just gotta tweak your settings,” Shoko reassures you.
By the end of your call, the profile is set. You thank your old friend for the previous heart-to-heart conversation, and the time she spent helping you set up your profile.
“Keep me updated, and don’t talk about mom stuff, okay? Now, I’m not saying you can’t talk about them,” she begins, “but show these guys your personality! I know she’s in the closet somewhere hiding next to our old slutty clubbing clothes.”
Then, the both of you say your goodbyes and she wishes you a good-luck on your newly established dating journey. As you lay in your bed, you give your profile a final onceover. Not too bad, you think to yourself.
You ended up using all of the photos she had originally picked out for you. Even the beach photo. To compensate for your old photos, though, Shoko made sure that your prompts were witty and full of personality.
“I’d match me, I think. No, yeah, these are funny. She did a good job.”
The following day, you open your phone to fifty notifications from the dating app. A tingle of excitement shoots through your body from the tip of your toes, to the top of your head. It takes all of your might not to squeal in the office.
“Holy fuck,” you whisper at your desk. The amount of notifications that you initially saw on your homescreen read ‘50’ but when you opened the app, it showed you an overwhelming ‘100’ with a fat plus sign next to it. “Wait, are these all the people who liked me? Shoko’s gonna flip.”
Getting up from your chair, you make a beeline to the nearest bathroom. Not that you have to use it, but so you can scroll through all the potential prospects without your boss seeing you on your phone.
Pulling open the door to the bathroom, you close it shut behind you and lock it. A few minutes pass in the time you’re able to get through about half of the people who liked you. You end up skipping a lot of them. They’re either too young, too self-absorbed, creepy, or just downright not your type.
Some stick out, though. Even trick you into thinking they’re potential matches, but then the other shoe drops–because there’s always another shoe. You’ll scroll through their profiles, and they’ll seemingly have all the perfect traits: intelligent, witty, handsome, tall–and then, boom. You see their ‘don’t want kids’ preference. Every failed match only discourages you more and more.
It’s weird, because your profile preferences are set to ‘have kids’ and you even have a photo pictured with your girls. So why are men liking your profile despite that? After a few more scrolls, you’re just about ready to head back to your desk but then–you have a hit.
Your finger hovers over the ‘x’ at the bottom of the screen, then retracts. The guy’s profile at first impression is miles better than the rest, it’s almost too good to be true. His first photo is what piqued your interest. It’s of him posing for a silly photo with his sons, and he’s got his arms draped around their shoulders.
As you scroll down his profile, you see that there’s even more of him with his children. You take this as a green flag. He wants people to know he has kids, and that he isn’t embarrassed to show them off. You admire him for it.
The last few remaining photos are an amalgamation of selfies and full-body photos. To the average, well-adjusted adult, looks wouldn’t be a deal breaker. But he definitely wasn’t too bad on the eyes, and you were not complaining about that–especially, after the odd men you had to scroll through to get here. In other words, he was gorgeous and still fit despite being older than you (him, respectively being in his early forties).
Checking the time on your phone, you realize that you’re pushing your little ‘bathroom break’. Before heading back to your desk, you decide to respond to his first photo.
You: Cute! Could never get my girls to stand so still for a photo like this now haha :)
Work goes by slower than you’d like, but finishes up just in time when you get a notification from the dating app. You’re a little more excited than you’d care to admit. Tidying up your workspace, you say your goodbyes to your colleagues and head to the elevator. Absent-mindedly, you rush to answer his message but realize it won’t go through because of the elevator’s poor service.
Kazuki: Oh, they’re moody and grown now, don’t be fooled. I can't remember the last time I saw my youngest smile.
You don’t answer his reply until you get home. Actually, you do just about everything but answer his reply: check on the girls, shower, prepare dinner, pour a glass of wine–you’re nervous, and you don’t know why. But you know you should probably answer soon before he becomes disinterested. So you get comfortable in bed with your glass of wine and pull open his chat.
You: Lol, know that all too well. Kids are little assholes, aren’t they?
The speed in which he reads your text is startling, you don’t even have enough time to close out of the chat. Then, he responds.
Kazuki: Hell yeah they are!
Kazuki: Sometimes I want to strangle my youngest. He’s at that age where he’s starting to rebel and question everything. I told him he was supposed to be the ‘easy’ one, but his knucklehead brothers are bad influences on him…Tell me, does it ever get easier?
You: Sounds a lot like my oldest. She used to cling to me like a koala but now she’s the ring leader, and I’m the enemy. My youngest still loves her mama, though (for now lol).
You: And to answer your question, I’d like to think so?
You take a second before continuing your response. Shoko told you to keep the mom talk limited, but this seems to be working for you so far, and he’s genuinely interested in what you have to say. So for once, you’re going to ignore her advice.
You: Kids go through phases. It's our job to reassure them that we’re not going anywhere. No matter how much they push us away or try to, that is :)
Kazuki’s chat bubbles pop up, then disappear. You think he’s deciding on what to say.
Kazuki: I can tell we’re gonna get along great. It’s nice opening up like this, you know? Talking to another parent. If I'm being honest, dating apps have always intimidated me…
Kazuki: People see kids as ‘baggage’, and it really bothers me. My kids aren’t baggage. They’re the best parts of me. And if someone doesn’t see that, then we have no business getting to know each other.
Kazuki: Sorry for getting all sappy. Just felt like I needed to say it.
His apology makes you frown. It feels like a breath of fresh air to hear someone talk about their kids so lovingly, because you feel the exact same way. You’re glad you downloaded the app, and you make a mental note to thank Shoko again later (after you debrief her about this).
You: Never apologize for speaking about your kids! And if we’re being absolutely transparent, that was my biggest gripe with downloading this app, too.
You: I’m so glad we matched each other. I’d like to get to know you more. And I’m hoping the feeling’s mutual?
Kazuki: It’s more than mutual.
Kazuki: Don’t want to get ahead of myself but how do you feel about dinner? There’s a cool high-scale restaurant in the city that I haven’t been to yet. Heard it’s got two Michelin stars despite opening up not too long ago.
The prospect of going on a sit-down dinner date has your stomach in knots. It’s been a hot minute since the last time you’ve done so, but you’re eager to know the man behind the screen on a more personal level. Plus, being treated to a high-scale restaurant with two Michelin stars doesn’t seem too bad either. You’re never one to turn down free dinner.
You: I’d love to, but how soon we talkin’? Gotta see if it’ll align with my schedule.
Kazuki: How’s this Friday at 8 sound? :)
The days leading up to Friday breeze by in a blur. For the majority of the week, it feels like you’re walking on cloud nine. Eventually, the conversation transitions from the dating app to exchanging phone numbers, and since then, the two of you have been texting back-and-forth everyday.
You talk about mundane things. Work, shows, movies, books you’ve recently read, what your kids are up to–but the other things? The other messages are flirty, and sexy, and filled with so much tension that it could cut a rope in half.
In between messages, the two of you have also exchanged a few photos. Nothing risqué or anything of that nature, just random photos of you throughout the day. The last one he sent was a few hours ago of him at work, captioned with: ‘Could this meeting be any longer?’.
You reply to the message with the ‘ha ha’ reaction, in consideration of not wanting to get him in trouble at work (even if he was the one who initiated the conversation). As the days go by, though, you make it a habit to update Shoko every step of the way.
Her first reaction to hearing about him was enthusiastic. That is, until you showed her screenshots from his profile. You vaguely remember her saying something that was meant as a compliment, but came out more like an insult.
“‘Oh, he’s a dad!” was her initial response, “oh, he’s a dad…and he really loves his kids. You’re meant for each other.’”
When you tried to ask her what she meant by that, she changed the subject. Every update since then has earned slightly more positive reactions, though.
Today, you ask her for more advice. Only this time, you’re on video call.
“Shokoooo,” you drawl, “our date is tomorrow! You have to help me find something to wear.” The panic in your voice is so palpable, she can almost feel your shaky hands through the screen. Flipping the camera, you hurriedly pan your phone around the closet.
“Breathe, girl, breathe,” she demonstrates first, before telling you to repeat the same motions. “Take me to that section over there–no, not that one–wait, yep, there.” You amble over to the area she’s directing you to through the phone.
“What’s that black little number right there?” She points. You prop the phone up on a shelf and scour through the section, tugging out a dress you haven’t seen in ages (which has you questioning how she even spotted it because it was pretty far back into the closet). Walking back into frame, you hold the fabric up to your body.
Shoko nods in approval, “That’s the one, babe. Try it on!”
It’d been about a decade since the last time you wore this dress. It’d also been about a decade since you were ever this small. Looking in the mirror, you run your hands over every surface inch, every crevice of the dress, in a newfound sense of appreciation for the adult weight you’ve gained since becoming a mother.
The dress was always stunning but it hugged everything perfectly even more so now. When you walk back into frame, your friend gives you a look of pure adoration. She’s so enthralled that she snaps a few screenshots for keepsaking.
“Thank god it’s Satoru’s turn to get the kids tonight,” she says, “‘cause you’re definitely getting some tonight.”
You roll your eyes, reminding her she’s on speaker phone. “Oh, please. It’s just dinner!”
“Not in that dress,” she retorts, wagging her finger in the camera. While the two of you continue to chat about the details of tonight, a knock on your bedroom door draws your attention.
“Mom, can I come in?” the voice sounds. It’s Haruki.
“Come in, hon!”
After you give the ok, you turn to Shoko and mouth to her to behave. Haruki turns the knob and enters, closing the door behind her. She sees you standing in front of the mirror before you see her, and silently utters a ‘wow’. You’re just about done putting your earrings in when you join her in the other room.
“What do you think, bun? Does your mom look hot?” you spin around, smoothing your hands down the length of the dress. You wait in anticipation for her approval, because if anyone could tell it like it is, it was always going to be a kid. Your Haruki was no exception.
“You look really pretty, Mom. I’m glad you’re going out tonight, I mean, you don’t really have friends so I think this will be good for you,” she elaborates, though you wish she would’ve stopped at the compliment.
Still, it puts a smile on your face to hear her verbalize that she’s okay with you doing something for yourself. You never quite discussed the prospect of getting back out there with your kids–and not even intentionally. It just never felt like the right time.
“You could’ve stopped at the compliment, punk!” you grab her, then wrap her in your arms, “but thank you. Love you, bun.”
“Love you more, mama.” Neither of you make the effort to pull away. Instead, you both stand there. Hugging, breathing, embracing each other’s warmth. You don’t always get hugs this good, so when you do, you savor it. Drag it out until your arms and legs get all tingly.
Or until someone interrupts. Another knock on the door. This time it’s Hana.
“Ew, what’s going on?” Hana feigns a look of disgust. You know she’s just jealous; she’ll never admit it, though. Which is why sometimes you have to force her to participate.
“Get over here,” you scrunch your nose, forcefully pulling her into your tight embrace. She tries to protest but eventually accepts defeat. You squeeze them both until they whine that they can’t breathe anymore. Then you squeeze them some more because this one’s for you.
“My special girls,” you breathe in, taking in all of their love. Soaking it all up so that tonight you have the courage to try again. To allow yourself a love of your own. When you let go, there’s a sniffle from the closet. It totally dawned on you that Shoko was still on the phone.
“They’re so big now, they don’t even know their auntie,” she fakes a sob, blowing her nose into a tissue.
“Mom, who’s on the phone?” Haruki queries with a confused expression etched onto her face. It suddenly dawns on you again that although you’ve been communicating with Shoko again, you haven’t exactly told them.
“Hey, you came in here to tell me something right, Han?” Your attempt to change the subject is poorly done, which doesn’t come as a surprise to you considering deflection has never quite been an ability you excelled at. Nonetheless, the look of suspicion they give you after is fleeting before they explain to you in unison that their father is here.
“Your father’s been waiting down there this whole time and nobody cared to tell me?” you whisper-yell, left eye twitching to emphasize your ill-preparedness. The girls only shrug their shoulders in response, like this was something you were just supposed to know.
“Well, you did force us into a hug and make us do all that Kumbaya stuff,” Hana mumbles under her breath.
“Okay, enough about all that. Are you guys all packed? Where are your bags? I don’t want your dad seeing–”
“You don’t want dad to see your date, right?” Hana raises a brow, all knowing. Sometimes she was a little too smart for her own good. You want to blame that on the private schools Satoru had them enrolled in, but really you just know she’s just a menace in her own right. She learned that from him.
“I agree with the kid,” a voice chimes in. You rush to the closet and grab your phone from the shelf. There’s a huge, shit-eating grin on Shoko’s face. Somehow she’s responsible for this. You don’t know how yet, nor do you have proof, but you know it.
“Okay, thank you, love you, bye!” Before you can hang up, Shoko blurts something.
“Tell him I said hi,” she begins, “–andnottogetahardonwhenheseesyou!”
You hang up the call and roll your eyes, chuckling to yourself because of her idiocy. When you enter the corridor, you hear a faint sound of hushed voices from downstairs. It’s only when you round the bannister at the top, when those voices become discernible and louder.
You stop at the top, and when your eyes meet his, it feels like all the air in your lungs have expelled. Suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of what you’re wearing, and the fabric, and the way it clings to your body. Neither he, nor you, look away–you should, you want to, but you don’t.
And in the time the two of you gaze upon the other, time stops for a modicum of a second. In this second, you and him are the last two souls in the world. At least, that’s how it feels anyway before he breaks eye contact.
You shift your gaze shortly after, and put on a trained smile. Those eyes of his were always so intense. You guess you forgot over the years how easy it was to lose yourself in the crystalline pools of them. Gathering your wits, you resume your movements and saunter down the imperial staircase.
“Hey, didn’t mean to keep you waiting. Sort of lost track of time, but I think the girls are all packed,” you say, your voice coming to a decrescendo upon noticing the way his eyes trail over your frame. They’re unreadable, though. Indifferent, and honestly, you’re not sure how to feel. So, you begin fidgeting uncomfortably with the rings around your finger.
Then, he smiles. It’s eerie and fake. “Not a problem, I haven’t been here too long. But, uh,” he begins ambling around the place, touching random objects around the living room, “Didn’t know you had plans. What’s the occasion? Going out for drinks with your colleagues?”
You furrow your brows, confused with his sudden interests in your plans. It wasn’t really like him to prod. “No, actually,” you rock back-and-forth on the balls of your heels, “i’m…i’m going on a date,” you finish with a pursed smile. He only nods his head in response, still walking around the place touching stuff, messing with the picture frames on the mantle. They’re all crooked now.
“How come this is the only picture you have up of me,” he asks suddenly. You know, that he knows, the answer to that. And he knows, that you know, you’ll indulge in his games anyway.
“The girls wanted them in their rooms. Why do you ask? You want me to go grab them and put ‘em all up around the house?” Again, he doesn’t say anything. Just gives you a final once over before heading back to the foyer to ask if the girls are all set to go.
“Yeah, but I can’t find my tablet, dad. Can I go look for it?” Haruki speaks up. “I thought I packed it.”
Satoru looks at the time on his watch, pinches the crease in between his brows. “Sure, kiddo. Can we make it quick, please?” He throws his hand in the air for emphasis, then points to his watch. Haruki nods, then runs up the stairs.
“Actually, you go on up too and help your sister. You guys are holding up dad,” you turn to Hana and gesture for her to head up with your head. She rolls her eyes, yelling up the stairs for her younger sister to ‘freaking hurry up’.
You and Satoru both turn to each other with wide eyes, laughing at the nerve of those children.
“They get that attitude from you, you know,” you point to him, driving your index finger into his bicep.
“You sure? Their mom’s got a pretty bad mouth on her, too. Or, have you forgotten?” He teases, bending his knees slightly to level his eyes with yours, intruding into your space. The smirk he dons is cheeky, too friendly–too inviting. You want to smack it off of him.
“Oh, shut u–” the sound of your phone chiming interrupts your banter. It’s a message from Kazuki, and you open it while Satoru stands over you. Probably close enough to read the message on his own if he wanted.
Kazuki: Hey, I hate to do this but I don’t think I can go through with tonight.
When you read the message, your heart drops into your stomach. There goes the other shoe, you think, fully embracing your pessimism. Who were you kidding, really? To think that tonight you’d go out and have a good time. Do something for yourself. It was stupidity.
Chat bubbles pop up on the screen. He has more to say.
He has more to say, and you’re fighting the urge to cry–to not shake out of sheer frustration while you’re still standing in front of Satoru. Because nothing would be worse than him seeing you can’t even land a date.
Kazuki: I recently just went through a divorce, and I know that I should have informed you about this before continuing our conversations…Especially since you’ve been so transparent with me about your own divorce and strife.
Kazuki: But if I’m being completely honest, I was scared. I genuinely wanted to see this through, at first. I wanted to forget about my ex-wife for just one night. But I realized I’ve been asking the impossible of myself…I’m still in love with her, and it’s because I’m in love with her that I won’t allow myself to lead you on any further.
Kazuki: I think we would’ve had a good time tonight. It's unfortunate we had to meet under such circumstances because you’re a really lovely woman, and I’m sorry an asshole is standing you up right now.
Kazuki: Take care. I know there’s a guy out there just waiting for his shot.
Satoru takes notice of the way your face drops as you read over the messages. Part of him wants to overstep his boundaries and take a peek at the screen. But he doesn’t. He gives you your space and takes a seat on the couch, waits for you to say something first.
In the meantime, he studies your face. Watches intently as your eyes become glossy the more you scan the messages, watches as your bottom lip catches between your teeth to hold back from crying. He thinks he knows what just happened.
Taking a deep breath, you lock your phone and put on another trained smile, “Well, looks like I’m staying in tonight.” Satoru dislikes when you do that. When you put on a fake smile and overcompensate to make others around you feel better, even when it’s so very obvious you aren’t. He wishes that sometimes you would just be selfish–act out.
And then you continue the façade. It makes his skin itch.
“I was too tired anyway, guess I can just catch up o–”
“Will you stop,” he spits, rising from his seat on the couch to stand. It comes out harsher than he intended, but he doesn’t regret it. You look at him like he’s got two heads as he walks over to the mantle and leans against it. His back is turned towards you, and the palms of his hands hold the crest of it. He uses it as leverage to rock on the heels of his feet. You can tell there’s something he wants to say because of the way his jaw ticks.
Satoru is never one to bite his tongue, so you’re not exactly sure why he’s choosing to be so restrained. If he wasn’t going to spit it out, you were going to poke. “What’s your problem?”
He chuckles at this, rubs his chin then pushes off the mantle to stand in front of you, gets all in your space again. The movement almost sends you back but you hold your ground, tilt your chin up at him and repeat the question. Slowly, this time with more venom.
“My problem? What’s your problem?” He breathes through his nose, his eyes flickering back-and-forth between your own. “Why do you always pretend like you’re not lonely? It’s okay if you were looking forward to having fun tonight. It’s okay to be upset and be mad at the asshole who stood you up!”
With every verbal prod at you, the gap between you decreases. His feet inch closer and closer to your own and force you to retreat farther until your back hits the wall. The coldness of it causes your breath to hitch, and you try to stay calm as Satoru encroaches more into your personal space. Being on the receiving end of his passion was always suffocating, you feel exposed under the intensity of his gaze–even more so as he continues to tear into you.
“Why do you even care?!” you cut him off, eyes wide and veins pumping full of adrenaline. “It’s not your place to be so invested in my life anymore! We’re not together, you don’t have to get so hot and bothered about things going shitty for me. I’m a big girl, and I’m perfectly capable of fighting my own battles.”
By the time you finish, you’re a heaving, shaking mess. He takes this as a sign to withdraw from your space, and goes to sit back down on the couch. When you finally settle your nerves, you join him, leaving a foot of space in between you. There’s an awkward silence, one that wouldn’t have even happened if he just respected your boundaries in the first place. Now he feels like the asshole instead of the actual asshole who dumped you. Taking a hesitant breath, he decides to speak up.
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t…It wasn’t my intention to come off so strong like that,” he begins, “I just wanted to let you know that you don’t always have to pretend to be fine. It’s not fair, you shouldn’t do that to yourself.” His eyes wander over to you reluctantly, like he’s scared that if he looks too long you’ll disengage from the conversation.
“It’s okay,” your voice is small, just above a whisper. You want to face him, but you know that if you do, you'll break into a million pieces. So you keep your gaze downward, busy yourself with the stray pieces of thread on the bottom of your dress. “You’re right, you know. I think I just…I think I just tell myself to expect disappointment so that when something bad happens, I’ll know it’s not because I got my hopes up.”
Satoru turns to you, and you can see him frown through your peripheral. Still, you don’t face him because you’re not done talking. But you thank him silently for listening without interrupting.
“Even though you’re right, I don’t appreciate the way you came on so strongly. We’re not married anymore, we’re not a couple–we’re co-parents. So if there’s something I want you to know about that’s outside of the scope of our kids, I’ll let you know. Otherwise, leave it alone.”
Satoru’s face softens. For once you’re being selfish, putting your foot down. This is the side of you he likes. “Okay. I respect that,” he says, “But can I ask you something?” The smile on his face is mirthful, like he’s got something else up his sleeves this evening. Skeptical, you finally face him with a raised brow.
“What?”
“Let me take you to dinner.”
You laugh in his face, even go as far as smacking his arm because you want him to know you found the joke really funny. He doesn’t budge, and that’s when you realize he’s being serious.
“Wait, what?”
“Let’s go to dinner,” he stands up, crossing his arms across his chest. You tilt your head in disbelief. You’re just waiting for someone to tell you you’re on that old reality show punk’d.
“Funny, I just poured my heart out to you and now you’re making fun of me,” you roll your eyes, feigning annoyance.
“I’m being serious,” he reassures, “you’re already dressed up. It’d be a shame for it to go to waste.” His eyes are twinkling with hope, and once again, you find yourself falling victim to their persuasiveness.
Being under Gojo Satoru’s gaze was suffocating.
Giving in, you ask, “So what are you gonna do? Drive all the way home to get dressed?”
The question is genuine, but the bastard just grins. “I’m a little hurt,” he throws a hand over his heart, “don’t you know me by now? I’m a businessman. I keep pressed blazers and slacks on me at all times.”
He swings his keys around his index finger, hoping that the promise of a spare change of clothes being in his car is enough to convince you to say yes.
“I don’t know…” you trail.
“C’mon, let me take you out. I promise you won’t regret it.”
Somehow he was able to persuade you into going out. After he changed into his spare clothes, you ended up telling your girls that there was gonna be a change of plans, and that they’d go home with their dad tomorrow.
Of course, before leaving, you made sure to leave some money on the table for pizza, and you also made sure to drill into their heads not to open the door for anyone except the delivery guy. You knew they knew the drill already, but it didn’t feel right to leave without saying it anyway.
“Be good, listen to your sister, she’s in charge,” you pinch Haruki’s cheek. Hana smirks, nodding her head in agreement with you.
“I will mom, I know,” she huffs, crossing her arms.
“And you,” your finger wags at Hana, her smirk drops. “Don’t provoke your sister, be nice. Act like you love each other, please.”
“Fine, whatever. I guess,” she grabs the knob to the door, ready to kick the both of you out already. “So does this mean the two of you are back together, or?”
Satoru and you turn to each other before answering in unison, “No.”
“Okay, cool. Well, have fun,” she practically closes the door on the two of you, locking it after. Satoru is just as dumbfounded as you are, but then you break into a fit of laughter.
“Those kids, man.”
“Your kids!” you correct, pushing him playfully as the both of you walk down the pebbled pathway. He finds his equilibrium in time to unlock the car and open your side of the door. You pause before ducking inside.
“Oh, how gentlemanly of you,” you jest, “And they say chivalry is dead.”
“How could it be when I’m alive?” He says matter-of-factly, closing your side of the door. He taps the top of the car before sliding across the hood to the other side. Nice to see some things never changed.
When he gets inside and turns on the car, he puts his hand on the back of your seat to back out. The proximity sends a shiver down your spine, and you have to physically refrain from letting your eyes linger on his jaw, and his arms, and the face he makes when he’s trying to concentrate.
You try to dispel these less-than-friendly thoughts by looking somewhere, anywhere else but him. But you can’t, and it’s irritating.
This is the second time tonight you’ve been this close, and it’s only this time that you realize something about him is…different. Earlier, he didn’t really smell like anything, but you quickly notice his smell has changed.
There’s a sort of piney scent coming from him. It’s not strong or obnoxious enough to blind your nostrils, but it’s enough for you to just barely pick up on it. You almost think it was premeditated, that he took the liberty of spritzing some on before walking you to the car. Before you separated, he’d made it a habit to wear variations of woody scents for you. If you can recall correctly, a passing comment you made about the cologne he was wearing that day is what sparked the habit.
Surely, this couldn’t be coincidental?
“You smell nice,” you blurt, filling in the silence.
Satoru glances at you, “Thank you.” You hate that from the corner of your eye, you can see his stupid little smirk growing bigger by the minute. He already had a big ego, it didn’t need to be stroked any more.
“Don’t let it go to your head, though. You usually smell pretty rank.”
“Ohhh, is that so? Guess I gotta start wearing this more often then, huh?”
“Sure, do what you want,” you say, trying to remain indifferent even though you’re failing terribly to hide your smile. When the car approaches a red light, you finally decide to ask the big question. “So where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see,” he glances over, “Just know I’m good friends with the owner, so last minute reservations weren't a problem.”
The rest of the car ride is silent, save for the low hum of the music playing on the radio. When you arrive at the location, Satoru makes sure to walk all the way around to your side of the door again and open it. Immediately after, the two of you are greeted by a young male. He’s wearing a white button down, black slacks, and a black vest with a red tie. Judging by his appearance, you assume he’s a valet driver.
Satoru drops his keys in the driver’s hands, and escorts you towards the entrance. The boy bows and goes to park the car. Looking around, you start to wonder where exactly this place is supposed to be. The area is dark and secluded, and from where you stand outside, it doesn’t sound like there’s supposed to be a restaurant here. You don’t hear any voices, you don’t even see any security or other passerbyers.
Still, you follow behind him like a duckling, only coming to a halt when he leads you to a door taller than the both of you. He gestures for you to back up, then raises his knuckles to blow a strong, single knock. You’re taken by surprise when a set of angry eyes appear behind a slot in the door.
The pair of eyes first scan over you, then Satoru. A gruff voice is second to accompany them, “Where can I get a good drink?”
“I heard the bar down the street is nice,” Satoru answers. The hatch to the door closes, then swings open the door, and the man behind it moves aside to welcome you in.
“Follow me, please.” Once he closes the door, he begins guiding you down the dimly lit hallway. After making what seems like your hundredth turn, you eventually reach a staircase. The man gestures for you to go on ahead, and you think this is him implying where the three of you will depart.
“Thank you,” you say softly, disappearing down the stairs. Satoru isn’t too far behind, keeping a pace between you. As you near the end of the long, narrow hallway, a stream of white light brightens up your whole path. It leads you down to another door like a beacon of light, and when you reach it, you can hear voices, live music, and dishes clanking on the other side. It’s bustling with life. A huge, joyous smile plasters across your face. It’s almost child-like in appearance, like you haven’t seen something this cool in a long time.
Satoru stands beside you and winks. “What d’ya think? Any idea yet where we are?”
“I think this is fucking cool, and hm,” you take a second to mull it over, “are we at a speakeasy?”
“Smart girl. Now come on.” Stepping back, you allow him to pull open the door, and when he does, there isn’t a word to describe the atmosphere of the place you step into. All you can do is stand there in astonishment. Before long, a man walks up to you.
“Welcome, what is the name you reserved under?”
“Gojo.”
Nodding, the host instructs you to follow after him. He leads you to a private seating area, somewhere far in the back that’s secluded from the other patrons. The space is much bigger, and much more extravagant. You know you’re only sitting way back here because Satoru is who he is. And in all the years you’ve known him, his connections were just another party trick in his arsenal.
The hostess seats you, then Satoru, and tells you that a waiter will be with you shortly.
“This is nice, really nice, but is it–”
“Legal?” he finishes your sentence, “don’t worry. It’s a modern speakeasy-style restaurant. There’s nothing illegal going on here, promise.”
While you wait for your designated waiter, your focus shifts from the man in front of you to the man singing on the stage. Up until now, his voice was white noise in the background, but then he started singing a tune scarily reminiscent of your past–and your breath catches in your throat.
If I ever leave you, baby
You can say I told you so
And if I ever hurt you
You know, I hurt myself…
Turning your gaze back to Satoru, you squint your eyes mirthfully in disbelief. You wonder if this is just a funny coincidence, if this is the universe playing her tricks, but you know deep down, that coincidences and Gojo Satoru don’t belong in the same sentence.
You open your mouth to speak, but quickly close it when you see the waiter approaching from the corner of your eye. He greets the both of you with a polite smile, then sets down two glasses of water.
“Good evening, I’ll be your waiter for the night,” he says, placing a menu in front of you, “Can I get you fine folks started off with a bottle of wine?”
Satoru nods, tells him to bring the best bottle of red they have and then gestures for him to come closer so that he can whisper something in his ear. All the while, you sit back in your seat observing, clicking your nails on the table until the server pulls back and bows.
When he departs, you immediately lean in over the table, and ask, “Just how much time did you have to plan all of this?”
Satoru feigns aloofness, taking a sip of his water, “What do you mean?”
You roll your eyes, gesturing at the stage with your eyes. Then, as if suddenly coming to a realization, he goes, “Oh, that? Yeah, I had nothing to do with that. But isn’t it funny they’re playing our old song?”
Now he’s smirking, with his elbow leaning back on the chair, and a gaze so piercing, you’re certain you’ll crumble into nothing unless you look away. So you do, avert your gaze back to the stage and sway calmly.
Is that any way for a man to carry on
Do you think I want my loved one gone
Said I love you
More than you’ll ever know
More than you’ll ever know
“So funny,” you counter.
Eventually, the server comes back with a bottle. “1982 Chateau Latife Rothschild,” he holds it out to present, “Is this alright?”
Despite the years spent with Satoru, and the many elitist events you often attended with him, your knowledge on wine had never surpassed anything but surface level. You knew the difference between good wine and cheap wine was the taste, but your taste buds had grown accustomed to store-bought, so if anything, store-bought tasted like heaven to you. Anyway, though, you nod your head and urge him to pour a glass.
“Thank you,” you smile, before gently swirling the glass and bringing it up to your nose to smell (something you only know to do after being the odd man out at so many company banquets). Satoru waits for you to sip your glass before he sips his. The way you melt into your seat is a silent assurance that you’re pleased.
“This is great, you’re amazing,” you tell the server, who seems pleased by your compliment.
“Glad to be of service, miss. Are you ready to order?”
Dinner goes by smoothly. In fact, it goes by so smoothly, you and Satoru finish the entire bottle of wine. Now you sit at the table, bellies full, faces flushed and sore from laughing, and now you find yourself telling him about the grocery store incident. If you had half a mind (a sober one), you’d shut up right this second to save yourself from the embarrassment. But you don’t. And Satoru’s very persuasive when you’re tipsy.
“Keep going,” he leans in, hand nestled under his chin. He’s completely invested in the story. Actually, as soon as he heard the words ‘store’ and ‘cute guy’, he just had to know more. And you begging him to change the subject didn’t help, not when the sadist in him loved to see you so embarrassed.
“Fine,” you hiccup, “It was so - so bad, Toru.” He doesn’t miss the way you slip and call him by the nickname you’d always reserved for him. It makes his heart race, and god, does he miss the way it sounds spilling from your lips. But he ignores the feeling, and refocuses on your story instead. Which, by the way, was proving to be a task in itself because his eyes couldn’t stop drifting back down to your lips. So soft, so–
“And then she said ‘we don’t believe in rings,’” you whisper, fist coming down on the table. The sound it makes nearly sobers you up, and you realize just how loud you’re being despite your table being secluded from others. Giggling like a kid, you continue, “I mean, how fucking insane is that?!”
“Something as bizarre as that could only ever happen to you,” he replies, laughing along with you, “those people were crazy.”
“The craziest,” you agree, throwing your head back in another fit of laughter. Gradually, the two of you begin to settle down, and once again, you find your attention being drawn back to the man on the stage. Only this time, he’s making an announcement.
“Good evening ladies and gentleman. Tonight I’ve got a special request,” he says, looking out into the audience. Looking at you. “This one’s for a very special lady who, from what I’ve been told, is a great mother that needs to start doing things for herself.”
The singer steps out of the spotlight and hands the note to a server. Your server. Then he begins to sing, and your heart drops into the pit of your stomach. It was your wedding song.
[...] I don’t even know how to love you
Just the way you want me to
But I’m ready (ready) to learn (to learn)
Yes, I’m ready (ready) to learn (to learn)
“Now this one? This one was me,” Satoru leans forward, and you swiftly turn your head to face him. He smiles as he watches your face go through ten different emotions before ultimately softening. It warms your heart to see how incredibly planned this evening was, despite the amount of time he was given to work with. Even so, it kind of scares you–because then that meant this was a grand gesture–that this was his way of saying something. And you weren’t too sure if you wanted to hear it. Your gaze drops to your lap, and Satoru frowns.
To fall in love
To fall in love
To fall in love with you…
“Look at me,” he says softly, but you don’t. “Hey, look at me.” He reaches over the table to take your chin in between his fingers. The touch alone feels electric. Sends liquid hot lightning down the column of your spine. Reluctantly, you meet his gaze, and like always, it’s suffocating. They’re so wide with hope, and so, so gentle in the way they hold you. The longer you gaze upon them, the more you convince yourself it’ll be okay if you surrender to them.
“It’s been years since we’ve divorced,” his voice is shaky, almost strained, like he’s actively thinking how to choose his words carefully, “and when we sat down that night, I thought it was what I wanted, too, you know? And for a while, it was,” he reaches a hand across the table to rest atop your own, “but you gotta know…you gotta know–you’re it for me. There’s no one else on this Earth that I want to start over with. You’ve always been the beginning and end of my story, and I’ll be damned if I let another man start one with you.”
Your heart is beating faster than you can even process what he’s saying. The only thing you’re focused on is not passing out in the middle of this damn restaurant. But then he’s squeezing your hand, and your focus is drawn back to those piercing, pale blues that even put crystals to shame.
“So what do you say?” he says, so softly, so tender. “Can we try again?”
Waiting for your reply, he squeezes your hand again. It’s like your soul is wandering the line between death and the living, and his touch is the tether that brings you back. In the background, the tune of the song sung at your wedding gives you a push of courage.
I don’t even know how to kiss your lips (kiss your lips)
At a moment like this
But I’m going to learn how to do
All the things you want me to
Yes, I’m ready
(Are you ready?) Yes, I’m ready
To fall in love
To fall in love
To fall in love right now
“Yes.”
The walk back to the car is hurried. Aided by both, years and years of built up tension, and the liquid courage currently bubbling in your systems.
The race back to his apartment is even faster. You thank the gods silently that it’s within close proximity to where you just were.
Once you get there, make your way past the doorman and concierge (who both give the two of you a knowing look), go up the elevator, and finally get into his loft–it’s over. Years of restraint, years of pretending, wanting–yearning, come crashing down.
There’s barely any time to close the door before he’s pushing you against it. His lips trail down the column of your neck, then come up to kiss your jaw, until eventually, they find your lips. And when they do, it’s instantaneous–that familiar feeling, the feeling that feels almost like falling.
Once again, for what felt like centuries, you feel again the rush of helplessness. The push and pull of the tide. It brings you down, down, down to the bottom of the ocean floor, and it’s unmerciful.
Kissing Satoru is like being shocked with ten thousand volts of energy. Like all this time you’ve spent not kissing him, has been costing you your life, and he’s the only one who can deliver you salvation. It’s all teeth and tongue for a minute. Messy, and sticky, and nasty. A true testament to the desperation brewing in the pits of both your stomachs.
The sensation of it all has your knees going slack, and that’s when he says–
“Jump.”
Obeying, you do just that. Jump right into his arms, and wrap your legs around his torso like you’ve done so many times before. The way you feel now is the way you used to feel before then, too. Like you were made to fit like this. To be held in his arms like you were molded from the same clay.
Carefully, he adjusts his grip on your body. Keeps his palms planted on the bottoms of your ass, and begins the trek to his room. He struggles a bit getting there because you haven’t stopped kissing since entering the apartment, but he figures it out after a stumble or two (which resulted in a bitten lip and you apologizing profusely through giggles).
“The turbulence up here is crazy, don’t blame me, blame the pilot,” you jest, kissing down his neck to make up for it.
“I’ll make sure to let him know,” he jokes back. As soon as he gets to the bed, he sets you down at the edge of the bed. You try to bring him down to your height but he stops you, wags his finger in your face playfully before using it to push you back into the bed. His fingers start to play with the fabric of your dress, and then his face takes on an indifferent expression. The same one from earlier that night when he first saw you walking down the stairs.
“Can’t believe you were gonna wear this for him…” he trails, lifting the fabric up slowly, eyeing you while doing so, “as if this dress doesn’t mean something.”
Of course, when Shoko chose it, its significance did make you falter–but in your defense, not once did you ever anticipate for him to see you in it. And you especially didn’t expect for him to remember it, the last time you wore it was almost a decade ago.
“I didn’t…” you start, a smile creeping on your lips, “think you remembered?”
“‘Course I did, how could I not?” He says more sharply than intended, taking offense. He takes offense because he spent the better half of the night showing you he remembered. The little things and everything else in between. Couldn’t you see that?
“It was our 4th anniversary. Bought you this dress and fucked you in it that same night. Funny how the second time I’m seeing you in this dress, the circumstances are the same except only this time we’re divorced,” he says, crawling over your body. “Guess I gotta show you just how much I remember.”
With that, he slips a hand under your dress, pulls your panties to the side and runs a finger down your slit. Oh-so-willingly, do you spread your legs for him. It’s almost subconscious, the way your body responds to him. And he revels in it. Lets his fingers work you, feel you, bring you to ecstasy. Then he heightens your pleasure tenfold when he kisses his way down your body, and takes a seat before you on his knees.
Unceremoniously, he pulls your body to the edge of the bed. Takes his time slipping your panties down the length of your legs, then kisses the insides of your thighs, before finally stopping at your mound.
Slowly, he lowers himself to your cunt, kisses your clit softly. Once, twice, three times. The pace in which he’s moving is killing you, to say the least. But you know he’s savoring the moment, making up for all the years he spent not kneeling like this between your legs. So you let him; let him caress you all over before he comes seeking the honey-sweet salvation dripping from your core.
The second his tongue makes contact with your heat, you find yourself clamping a heavy hand over your mouth. “Fuck, Toruuuu,” you drawl, back arching off the bed. Pleased with his abilities, he smiles smugly, using this as an opportunity to push himself even deeper. Up and down, he licks at your slit, uses his fingers in tandem with his tongue to prod at that spongy spot he knows you love.
“Tastes,” a harsh suck, “so good,” another, “better than I remember.”
You know he’s talking, but his words fall on deaf ears. You’re so caught up in your own high, you don’t even take notice of the obscene sloshing sounds coming from your pussy, or the moans you’re making. All you can do is lay there and take it as he takes, and takes, and takes from you.
Soon, you find your orgasm cutting through you like a knife, and you come with a strangled cry that has you biting back tears. Satoru talks you through the whole thing. He lays his head down on your thigh and continues working you with his fingers until you start to shake from the overstimulation.
For a few, you lay and stare at the ceiling. You think you can see the Milky Way–and all the constellations that make it up. It feels like your soul is floating beyond your physical body, and you don’t come back down to Earth until a sharp, stinging sensation brings you back. Did he just?
“Did you just bite me?” you lift your head, peering down to see the evidence. In all its glory, there it was; a red ring smack-dab in the inside of your thigh with teeth imprints. Looking at Satoru, he grins.
“Had to get you back from earlier,” he says, sitting back on his knees. You attempt to kick him with your foot, but he grabs hold of it. Pretending to be wounded, he gasps, “Is this how you treat the man who just gave you a soul-shattering orgasm?”
You roll your eyes, but to your dismay, it only encourages him to continue.
“Fuck, Toru,” he mimics, “oh my god, Toru. You fuck me so goo–”
“Alright, enough!” you manage to kick him this time, laughing as you bring up your hands to cover your face. “Keep carrying on like that and I won’t let you fuck me…” You’re serious in your bite, but he’s smirking. Like he knows you’re full of bullshit.
“Yeah right. You and I both know I make you feel too good.”
Feeling bested, you scoff, though, there’s no real weight behind it. While he begins to remove his shirt, you sit up and replace his hands. He relinquishes control and allows you to unbutton it until the item falls haphazardly to the floor.
He’s so beautiful, you think. Still so chiseled, so perfect after all these years since you’ve last seen him like this. At his most vulnerable. The only difference now is that there are more freckles littered across his skin. Back then, he’d say they were signs of aging, and he’d hate them.
But he’s older now. More mature. So much so that he even winks at you when you trace your fingertips over them.
“They suit you,” you whisper.
“Yeah?”
You nod your head, “mhm.”
Continuing your ministrations, you begin removing his belt. He holds your gaze the entire time it takes for you to unzip his pants and pull them down–and he doesn’t once shy away when you discover the wet spot on the front of his briefs. Slowly, delicately, you remove the soiled item and let it fall down to the floor with the rest of his clothes.
Still looking at him, you take hold of his length and fist him once, twice, experimentally. A dribble of pre oozes from his slit and you bring it to your mouth. All the air in his lungs expel into the air when you lick it off with your tongue, and god, he thinks he could come from that alone.
God, he’s missed you. Missed your touch, your lips–the way you hold him with your eyes like he’s something worth being gentle with. Nothing could ever compare to you, not even his own hand.
As soon as you’re about to take him in your mouth, he stops you. Pushes you back down onto the bed and slots himself between your legs. “No more playing, I’m tired of playing,” he breathes, lowering himself down until half of his weight is on top of you.
Guiding his cock to your entrance, he pushes past your folds with little resistance. The feeling of your cunt squeezing him in has his arms wobbling like jelly, but he musters enough strength somehow to stay up. You, on the other hand, are close to tears.
The more he eases himself in, the more you feel like you’re being stretched open (despite him previously prepping you). If you were being truthful, this wasn’t a complete shock to you. You’ve known that he’s always been big, but something about tonight feels different. Or maybe it’s just been too long since you’ve had something more than just your own fingers.
Even so, you try your best to ignore the burn of the stretch. You throw your arms around his neck and invite him deeper into you, hooking your legs around him so tightly that it renders his limbs useless. For a minute, all you can feel is the weight of him inside of you, and his chest against yours as they rise and fall asynchronously.
“Toru,” your voice is just barely above a whisper, but enough to make the hairs on the nape of his neck stand. “Make love to me.”
Heeding your request, he begins moving. Painfully slow, he unsheathes himself from you until only the head of his cock is inside, then pushes himself all the way back in with force. Again, and again, he repeats this motion. Pulls out, pushes in. Pulls out, pushes in, until he decides to increase his pace and set a steady rhythm.
Every thrust into you is meticulously calculated. Sharp, and forceful, and not once does he disrupt the rhythm. He listens carefully to the sounds you make. Even listens to the way your breath hitches when he hits a spot right. Everything he’s doing is perfect–and it’s to no surprise. Deep down, you know that Satoru knows your body like the back of his hand. He’d know it if you were all old and wrinkly. He’d know it if his soul reincarnated. Hell, he’d know it blind.
“Missed this,” he grunts, burying his head into the interstice of your neck, “missed you,” a kiss to your neck, “missed us.”
The veracity of his words render you speechless. He’s already professed his feelings for you tonight, but it feels even more real now that you’re beneath him. To be loved by Gojo Satoru was a feeling many couldn’t say they had the consolation of knowing. Only a few in his circle could hold that position–but only one person in this world could truly ever know his love to its fullest extent. You.
Satoru continues his mindless rambling, “I love you,” a thrust, “it’s always been you,” another, “was always going to be you.” Leaning back on his heels, he pushes your dress all the way up to reveal your breasts. Now it’s him who sits back and admires this time. As if he were reacquainting himself, he traces the planes and pastures of your chest with an eager hand. He runs it up and over each mound, squeezing and kneading the flesh experimentally.
Then, he dips down and kisses the space between them. Sucks and licks until the skin bruises, and he has evidence to prove tonight actually happened. Eventually, he withdraws from your chest and returns his focus on easing his cock in and out of your cunt.
“So beautiful,” he says, but it’s more to himself than anything. You’re so lost in your own pleasure, he doesn’t even think you can hear him. “Want you to cum on my cock, know you can do it, baby. Know you can,” he grunts, taking your hand and intertwining it with his own. Letting his head fall into your neck, he begins to quicken his pace. Fucks into you with everything he’s got and willing to give.
“Toru,” you finally manage to say, “‘m so close, keep going. Do it - do it inside.”
Do it inside. Do it inside. Do it inside. The thought is tempting, too tempting. It makes his dick twitch inside of you, and he swears if you say it again, he’ll actually do it. But he knows better than to listen to anything you say out of delirium.
“Trust me, sweet girl,” he cradles your face, to which you lean into, “I want to - I want to so fucking badly. But we both know you’d regret it later.”
Whining, your lips form into a pout, and the sight is so cute, he can’t help but to kiss it off of you. Compared to your kiss earlier, this one is much sweeter. Slower. More relaxed. He kisses you with the intent of making you dizzier than you already are, and it’s scary. Even so, you don’t pull away. You allow him to drink you up. Like your lips are the only source of water around, and he’s been quenched for days.
Finally, with a few more thrusts, you reach your climax. The pressure building in the pit of your belly pops like a balloon, and everything goes white. “Toru!” you shriek, arching off the bed and trembling in his grasp.
Using your arch as leverage, he keeps his hands underneath your back and continues to ram into you without abandon. You’re a babbling, wet mess at this point, and your cunt squeezing around him only encourages him more.
“Fuckfuckfuck, ‘m gonna - ‘m gonna,” he curses, balls beginning to tighten. Quickly, he unsheathes himself and fists himself the rest of the way. With an impassioned moan, he climaxes–spurting thick, white, ropes of seed all over your abdomen. Then, falls onto your limp body with a grunt, chest heaving rapidly, and slick with perspiration.
By this time, you’ve settled down enough to form a proper sentence. “That was…”
Satoru huffs, catching his breath. “Yeah.”
Still spent, he continues to lay atop you. And you, having nowhere else to go, let him. The two of you lay comfortably in silence like this for a long time. Just you tracing shapes into his back, and him purring into your neck. Both of you know you should be getting up, but neither of you make an effort to do so. In this moment, time is transcendent. There is no rush to move when time stands still for you.
Soon, that silence is broken.
“I love you,” you say, and there’s no elaboration. Not even a recant. In fact, you say it so nonchalantly, he’s not even sure it was real. You say it like you’ve never been more certain in your life, like it’s the easiest thing you’ve ever had to do.
“Really?” he queries, almost pathetically like the mere idea of you loving him is something unattainable. You look at him like he’s got two heads.
“Yeah, you’re my best friend. I’ve always loved you,” you admit, pausing your ministrations on his back, “I just had to relearn how to love you.” He smiles at this, hums into your neck to keep from crying.
“I’m glad we found our way back to each other,” he mumbles into your neck, “so where do we go from here?”
“From here we take it slow. We’ll learn together what it means to be individuals, and then from there we’ll see where it goes,” you say matter-of-factly, “no more repeating past mistakes.”
“Agreed,” he nods, “what will we tell the girls?”
That’s when your eyes widen and you sit up, forcefully pushing Satoru off of you.
“What did I say, what’s wrong?” he queries, sitting up on the bed. He watches you rummage around the room maniacally, head on a swivel as you run out of the room and return with a purse. You pull your phone out to see a slew of missed calls and messages.
“We forgot to call the girls!” You yell, showing him your phone screen of missed calls. Gojo jumps up to join you, one leg already sliding into his pants.
“Shit!”
Noticing the state of your appearance, you pinch the skin between your brows. “Satoru, I can’t wear this! You got cum all over it,” you groan, pointing to all the splotches of white. He tells you to wait a second before disappearing into his closet, then he comes back with a fist of clothes and throws it at you.
“I can’t wear this either, they’ll wonder why I’m wearing your clothes!”
Satoru runs to you and pull the dress off of your body, “We’ll wash it!” he screams, disappearing again out of the room, and to where you imagine, the laundry room. When he returns, he’s out of breath and panting. It’s only then do you realize how insane he looks with half his shirt buttoned, and his pants twisted around his hips. A giggle escapes your lips.
“What are you laughing at? Chop chop,” he claps, ushering you into his bathroom.
Yeah, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss this idiot.
comments + reblogs very appreciated !!!
© arachine 2023
#art by: @yamada_souko (twt)#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader smut#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader smut#gojo satoru smut#satoru gojo smut#gojo satoru x you#satoru gojo x you#gojo satoru x y/n#satoru gojo x y/n#jjk smut
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UNFINISHED BUSINESS ━━━ paige bueckers
i don’t wanna fight, but you got the wrong vibes. let me get you right, it’s how i apologize. ✶
synopsis: she broke it off, but has since had a hard time leaving her alone… especially when having to see her in person.
pairing: paige bueckers x fem oc
warnings: smut with plot, p eating ( p is literally EATING ), fingering, thigh riding, and slight angst.
notes: this is ridiculously long. in honor of her fit here, enjoy.. i loved writing this almost as much as i love the song lol. lmk if i should make a part two or maybe a series!
Nervous, excited, and borderline bald from tugging at my hair—these were all the things I had felt the moment I stepped into the WNBA 2024 All-Star Game.
I would be seeing Paige tonight. Paige would be seeing me tonight. Paige knew I knew she would be seeing me tonight, and I knew Paige knew she would be seeing me tonight.
When Paige and I first started hooking up, it was never supposed to be anything serious. She was sidelined with a torn ACL, and I knew she was in a dark place, struggling with everything that came with being forced off the court. I think that’s why it started, honestly. She needed an escape, something to make her forget for a little while, and I was there.
Paige and I have known of each other for years, though. We both came up in the basketball world at the same time, our names being tossed around in the same circles since high school. We’d cross paths at AAU tournaments and national showcases, always on different teams but always aware of each other.
Back then, our support for each other was more from a distance, and it wasn’t until college that things started to shift. We crossed paths more often, whether it was at games, media events. The rivalry between our schools added a new layer to our interactions, but by then, we had leveled up from distant competitors to something more like casual friends.
Those moments were what led us to where we eventually ended up. The more we talked, the more we realized how much we actually had in common—our experiences, our struggles, the pressure to perform, and the constant scrutiny. It felt natural, easy, to let our guard down with each other, which is why when her injury happened and everything else in her life felt like it was falling apart, I wasn’t surprised when we fell into it.
We had an agreement. Not one that was ever talked about soberly, but the way it happened just fell into place so perfectly that we didn’t need to. We’d meet up when it was needed, no commitments, no expectations. Just two people finding comfort in each other, filling a void that we couldn’t fill on our own. It was convenient, effortless, and most importantly, it worked for the both of us. I guess I figured if I kept things casual, I wouldn’t get caught up in something messy. I didn’t want to be the one to complicate her life even more.
We’d cross paths after games, during off-season, or whenever our schedules aligned, slipping into each other’s lives for a few hours at a time. She knew how to keep me at arm’s length, just close enough to keep me coming back but far enough to never let me in too deep. She knew exactly how to make me feel needed without ever giving too much of herself away. It was maddening, really—how she could be so vulnerable one minute, showing me sides of herself that no one else got to see, and then switch off just as quickly.
The more we hooked up, the more I started to realize I was getting too close. I could see it in the way she’d look at me sometimes, like she knew I was starting to care too much. And the worst part was, she didn’t seem to mind pushing me right to that edge. She’d say something that made my heart race, or she’d touch me in a way that felt like it meant something, only to pull back and remind me of our status. She was always in control, always the one with the upper hand, and I hated how easily I let her have it.
And then it was all done. She cut things off with a cold finality that I still can’t even believe. No explanation, no soft letdown—just a sudden, brutal end. It was like she knew exactly when I’d reached that point and she didn’t hesitate to remind me that it was never supposed to mean anything at all.
“I’m gonna go grab some snacks, alright? Try to look a little more happy for the jumbotron,” JuJu teases, getting up from her seat. I gasped, barely having any time to process her insult as she scooted between me to get to the stadium stairs.
“Very funny,” I muttered, watching her walk away.
Alone now, I focused on the game, doing an extremely good job at hiding the gnawing in my chest. I’d say I have a good poker face, but Paige would agree to disagree. My phone buzzed, jolting me from my thoughts. It was her and she’d finally found you. She was on the other side of the arena, clearly getting a kick out of having you in her view.
you mad at me or just deep in thought?
I rolled my eyes back to the deep depths of hell. Another text from her.
you look good tonight
you too. how’s the game?
As soon as I hit send, I regret it. I should have ignored her. I should have said something snarky.
Her reply comes almost immediately.
could be better. thought about coming over
what stopped you?
You watched her text bubble practically stutter, making you quirk an eyebrow.
juju. i didn’t wanna make it awkward.
lol. okay.
actually, scratch that. leave w me.
I shifted in my seat, my hands suddenly clutching my phone a little tighter.
paige, no.
why not?
I shut off my phone just in time for JuJu’s return, watching as she squeezed through mounds of people to get back to me. She handed me a cherry slurpee, which would however be gone in ten minutes.
“Thanks, sugar,” you teased her, wrapping your lips around the straw and taking a nice, long sip. She shook her head at me as she focused on the game again, nachos in hand. Ping.
Tell her don’t get too comfortable 😂
I could even feel her eyes boring into me from the other side. I could picture the stupid smirk or gummy smile she’d have. I turned my ringer off and silenced Paige’s notifications before slipping my phone into my back pocket and reverting my attention back to the game. It’s almost over.
Fast forward to the final buzzer, and Juju and I made our way down to the court, weaving through the crowd of fans and players. I always loved the energy in a room of women’s basketball players and fans— there were always a million things going on at once. As we reached the court, we spotted Caitlin, who was already deep in conversation with a couple of other players.
“Great game, Cait,” I said, pulling her into a light hug. “Guess nobody busts your butt as good as SC, huh?” I pulled back first, resting my hands on my hips. I could say I’ve known Caitlin as long as I have Paige, but Cait doesn’t know me the way Paige does.
Caitlin laughed, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. “Yeah, yeah, Miss Championship. but don’t get too cocky now.”
Juju laughed alongside me, adding a quick comment about how USC would give her a run for her money next time. The conversation flowed easily, a mix of post-game analysis and friendly banter. I scanned the court for a brief moment, knowing exactly who I was looking for.
Sure enough, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Flau’jae and Paige making their way over. I braced myself, knowing the cameras would be all over this reunion, and the media would have a field day with it. Paige looked as confident as ever, her stride always one that grabbed attention.
“Hey, y’all,” Paige said, her voice smooth, effortless. She exchanged hugs and high-fives with everyone, her presence commanding attention as always. When she reached me, she didn’t hesitate to pull me into a hug, her hand resting on my hip before snaking around to my lower back.
And then I felt it—her hand slipping lower, fingers grazing the fabric of my mini skirt. I could hear the smirk in her voice as she leaned in, her breath warm against my ear. “Good to see you.” Just close enough to keep me coming back.
I pulled back slightly, meeting her eyes. There was that smirk. My heart was pounding, a mix of frustration and something else I didn’t want to acknowledge. “You too,” I managed, keeping my tone as neutral as possible, pulling back with a tight-lipped grin that looked friendly enough to anyone who didn’t know what was going on. Which was everyone.
The group continued chatting, oblivious, obviously. You’d found out the one thing you hated about being around Paige was the overwhelming current of being the only ones in the room who knew how each other was feeling. Paige, ever the actor, kept up her usual easygoing demeanor, but I could feel her gaze on me, like she was waiting for something. I tried to focus on the conversation, but it was impossible with her so close, the warmth of her hand still lingering on my skin.
When the small talk finally wound down, and the others started drifting away, Paige moved closer, her eyes locked on mine. She leaned in again, her voice low, almost a whisper. “C’mon. Meet me,” she coaxed, her breath warm against my ear. Her fingers brushed lightly against my side, tracing a path.
I hesitated, the resolve I’d built up over the past hour crumbling under the weight of her presence. She was testing me, pushing every button she knew she could. And damn it, it was working.
I finally nodded, barely audible. “Okay.”
It was all she needed. A single, one-word confirmation that I wanted her as bad as she does. She took my phone out of my pocket for me, placing it my hand as she said her goodbyes to everyone else, leaving me there. I suppose it was smarter for her to do that anyway.
Shortly after Paige’s departure, I made my way out as well. JuJu wasn’t a tough barrier to get past. I told her to finish up her conversations, and that I’d see her back at the hotel. I wasn’t quite show how long my excuse would suffice, but I hoped she’d find her way to the bar or something after.
I don’t know why I listened. Watched my fingers click on her contact and give the driver her hotel’s address. It was like I was compelled from the moment she’d touched me, and to be honest, I don’t think I’d be surprised if that was the case.
The Uber ride felt interminable, each passing moment only heightening the anticipation and anxiety. I could barely focus on the city lights flashing by outside, my mind consumed with the impending confrontation and whatever would follow.
Finally, I was able to make my way to her room, feeling the cool air of the hallway against my skin as I knocked on the door. When Paige answered, her smile was as infuriatingly charming as ever, and she pulled me inside with a warm, yet testing glint in her eye.
The moment the door clicked shut behind us, Paige’s demeanor shifted. Before I could voice any protest, her lips were on mine, kissing me with an urgency that made my heart race. I barely had time to process the sudden change before she deepened the kiss, her hands roaming possessively over my back.
I tried to pull away, my mind still reeling from the fact that I was even here, but her grip tightened, pulling me closer. “Paige,” I murmured against her lips, trying to catch my breath. “We need to talk—” but as much as I tried to voice it, I knew that isn’t what we both really planned to do.
She silenced me with another intense kiss, her fingers tangling in my hair, guiding my head to tilt for better access. Her touch was relentless, her body pressing against mine with all the need in her body. “I don’t wanna fight,” she whispered between kisses, her breath hot and heavy against my skin. “Jus’ wanna be close to you.” She breathed in my scent, and I melted.
The words were almost lost in the heated moment, but I could feel the sincerity. She pulled back just enough to look into my eyes, her gaze smoldering with an intensity that made me rethink actually standing on business. She waited, trying to see if I was really against this. I licked my lips, glancing at hers.
I didn’t stand a chance.
Her lips found mine again, and the world narrowed to the press of our bodies. Our kisses were feverish and desperate, each touch holding some type of meaning. Paige’s hands roamed over my skin like there were so many options in a candy store and she couldn’t pick just one. In this case, one spot to focus on. Her mouth trailed down my collarbone, leaving a path of pinkish marks.
Our bodies were pressed together and refusing to let go. Paige guided me towards the bed, her hands never leaving my body, her lips continuing their assault on my skin. When she finally lowered me onto the bed, I was needy and breathless and finally feeling a little more realistic.
“P, I’m still mad,” I tried to insist, though my voice wavered as I watched her begin to undress. She unzipped her Nike vest slowly, the sound of the fabric sliding down her body making my pulse quicken. It fell to the floor, and she ripped off her shirt with a sudden, breathless intensity, revealing her sports bra. The sight of her, partially unclothed and vulnerable in front of me again left me speechless.
“I know,” she murmurs, her head slightly tilted as she looked at me all-knowingly. “And ima’ make it up to you, I promise. Just let me get you right.” Her fingers trailed up my bare legs, eliciting a small gasp from my lips. She tugged at the hem of my skirt, pulling the fabric down and grabbing my panties in the process. I watched her do it, in utter disbelief that this was how I was spending my night.
Her fingers graze teasingly against my kneecaps, sending shivers through my body, before she gently but firmly peels my legs apart. I look down at her. “You’re just trying to distract me,” I say, but there’s no heat behind the words.
Paige smirks, a knowing look in her eyes as she falls to her knees, her hands sliding over my thighs. “Maybe,” she admits, her voice dropping into a low, sultry tone as she tucks her lip between her teeth. “But you can’t say you don’t want this too.”
She’s right, and we both know it. The way she’s touching me, the way her eyes are locked onto mine with that look. The same one that knows she’s getting her way tonight. My worries seem so distant now, nothing more than a whisper of irritation in the back of my mind, easily drowned out by the way Paige’s hands are moving.
I begin to say something, but she easily cuts me off by diving into me with no warning, immediately humming against my cunt in satisfaction. Her eyebrows were furrowed as her tongue made some deliberate strokes, seemingly in disbelief of the way I tasted. She looks up at me as she delves in, a sight beautiful enough for the Louvre but way too sinful.
She says something I can’t hear, but I do catch a, “Can’t leave you alone, ever. Fuck.”
“Yeah?” I muster out, my breath a careless whisper.
Paige smiles against me, loving the cocky tone in my voice as she responds with a fast nod, the movement making me gasp. “Yeah.”
From there, every moan and gasp from me seems to fuel her desire, making her work even harder to drive me wild. Her hands grip my hips firmly, keeping me in place as her mouth and tongue continue their relentless assault. In the haze of ecstasy, all I can focus on is the feeling of her between my legs, making good on her promise to get me right, leaving me utterly consumed by the pleasure she’s giving.
I come, loud enough that the neighbors might know Paige’s name, but she keeps going. It becomes too much, enough for me to whine and pull away, scooting a little bit higher on the bed. She isn’t going for it, though, and immediately brings me back to her mouth, wrapping my legs in her thick arms.
“Where you tryna’ go, princess?” she teases. The sensation of her mouth and fingers on me is so intoxicating that I can barely respond before she pulls back entirely, rising to her feet. She begins to peel off her pants, her movements slow, leaving me breathless and frustrated.
“Seriously?” I complain.
“Chill,” she responds with a husky chuckle, towering over me in the sexiest way explainable. It’s like she contemplates something in her head for a moment, leaving me dripping wet and needy before her.
Finally, Paige steps closer, her hands sliding down to her sports bra. With a teasing glance, she pulls it off, revealing her bare chest. My eyes widen as I take in her form, unable to tear my gaze away. She then sits back down, positioning herself comfortably on the edge of the bed. “Want you to get on my thigh, baby, m’kay?” And there was no room for argument.
I crawl toward her, a mixture of urgency and anticipation in my movements. Once I’m seated on her thigh, I start to ride it slowly, the friction sending waves of pleasure through me. I truly can’t believe we haven’t done this before. The way she flexes, the way I can feel her muscle.. it’s all too much.
I roll my head back, needing more. My hands find Paige’s boxers, slipping into them with ease as she watches, her eyes moving more than her actual head. My fingers find their way to her core, exploring.
Paige’s breath hitches, her fingers gripping my hip as she watches me intently. “You like that, don’t you?” she breathes, her voice filled with a mixture of desire and all things Paige. “You’ve got me exactly where you want me.”
I stare at her. My body and arm moving repeatedly, my hair a bit puffy at this rate, and a panting mess. Paige raises her thumb to my plump and parted lips, slipping it in. I moan out, forced to suck around it as I squeeze my eyes shut.
Paige is in a trance, completely focused on the warmth around her thumb and how your small fingers disappear into her. “So, so, so good. Love seeing you above me, baby. So pretty.” I couldn’t understand how she could say things like these, and happen to not mean them, but it was the last thing on my mind.
“Mfmfmm, I’m gonna come. Again.”
Paige’s response is a series of breathy moans, her hands gripping my hips tightly as she keeps me pressed down, every thrust and touch pushing us both closer to the edge.
As she finally shudders, her release crashes over her like a tidal wave, her body trembling violently. The sensation of her coming around my fingers makes my own climax come shortly after. I cry out, my own pleasure peaking as I grind against her, my fingers thrusting in and out.
Our combined releases feel explosive, a storm of heat and passion that has us both gasping and moaning. I feel her tremors against my fingers as I continue to move, riding out the last waves of ecstasy before finally collapsing against her, both of us spent and tangled together in a sated, sweaty mess.
I think I’ll regret this in the morning. But right now? I’ve never been happier.
#bueckers’ works 🍒#paige bueckers#paige bueckers fanfiction#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers headcannons#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x reader#uconn wbb#uconn huskies#lgbtq#Spotify
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KILLSHOT!
re4r!fuckboy leon x fuckgirl reader
word count: 5.9k
summary: Leon is only really a fuckboy because of some sort of childhood trauma thing. He doesn’t want to be forgotten, growing up ugly isn’t something he wanted to be remembered by so when he got his glow up he obviously used his looks to his advantage. But what happens when he starts to hear another name other than his own making rounds, everyone is raving about this person and Leon doesn’t like this. Is he jealous of them? Or is he actually jealous he hadn’t gotten to experience it yet?
tags/warnings: Minors DNI! Smut, 18+. Complicated emotions, slight mask kink, using of drugs, drugs mentioned, alcohol slightly mentioned, college ditzy bimbo talking, fingering, cowgirl, praise, characters from other franchises mentioned, halloween party, stalking-ish.. not proof read
A/N: hello! i have not been active in a few months oh my gosh.. literally sickening but life is literally sickening in itself? so.. but anyways, i had this idea strike me and it’s taken so long for me to punch it out because i kept changing the plot and rewriting and deleting shit because i didn’t like it. sue me! but yeah i forced myself to sit and write all day, so if some of the plot is not consistent i apologize! i actually got slight inspiration from pawgleon.. like the way the characters speak. i think she portrays bimbo and ditzy talk very well! (this is me partaking in kinktober)
Songs! ^^
Killshot (Slowed + Reverb) - Magdalena Bay
Rehab - Brent Faiyaz
Yummy - Ayesha Erotica
Like a Dream - Thomas LaRosa
Poison- Brent Faiyaz
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。
Leon’s always made a name for himself ever since Junior year in highschool. He had been considered ugly up until that point, had a bunch of acne (just like a normal growing teenager would), wore glasses, and his voice was still a little high-pitched because his balls had yet to drop. So what? Most boys are late bloomers! Definitely nothing to be insecure about.
He got picked on a lot and all the girls he liked never liked him back, always made fun of him whenever they could and called him a weird freak. But that all changed one summer when he got back to school for the new year.
He had gained a skincare routine, traded his glasses for contact lenses, and even started working out. It made him feel good about himself and it gave him the confidence to say fuck you to everyone else.
When he strolled into school however, it proved to be different almost immediately.
Here he was thinking he would have to defend himself again this year but people actually seemed to like him, girls he had never spoken to in his life started coming up to him. All pretty and perky too.
Now all of the sudden everyone wanted to fuck him and he was overjoyed. He quickly lost his virginity not even a month into starting the new school year, it took him a long while to perfect his craft but soon he got pretty good at knowing a woman’s body, men too.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。
A few years later and now he’s in college with a reputation of being a fuckboy. It wasn’t a bad thing for him, considering the fact that he was able to get out the pent up stress college applied onto him.
Leon always got to pick his fruit of the night daily, sometimes even more than once a day. He didn’t have to worry about girls trying to get into relationships with him because of his reputation, one, and two, he was always up front about how he didn’t want to date anyone.
He was 1000% sure that if someone could be labeled as best fuck/hookup he would qualify for first every single time.
Well that’s what he originally thought until he started hearing another name going around, almost as often as his own. He was curious about who this person was, he wondered if they were as good as him for this many people to be buzzing about them.
It only took him a couple of minutes asking around before he found out the full name of the person and what class they were in. Surprisingly they were in the morning class of the same lesson that Leon took except his was more in the afternoon.
No wonder they haven’t crossed paths. No worries, he’s sure that a person like him must be cool enough to become friends with.
Oh how wrong he was.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。
You had a decent up bringing growing up, didn’t struggle academically and you weren’t bad looking but you weren’t good looking either. Just plain. No one paid much mind to you in middle school.
It was completely fine with you, no drama, no names to remember, and no one to pick on you. You could honestly say you enjoyed it.
No one bothered you up until you hit puberty, you noticed almost immediately that people started treating you differently. It was strange at first, getting used to everyone trying to butter you up for one thing only.
You didn’t see much of an issue because you didn’t care, you didn’t see virginity as a big deal either. Now you weren’t a hoe or passed around, you just had sexual relations with whomever.
You were pretty ecstatic about going to college you had aspirations and dreams, that dream job wasn’t going to be easy. You needed to have a proper education and a little experience in that field before you even tried.
It was also well known in college that you get to sleep around with whoever you want and receive no consequences.
But never raw, you definitely weren’t trying to get pregnant before your life properly started. You applauded the women who did have babies this early in life and still make something of themselves but you could barely take care of yourself on a daily let alone a whole other little human.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。
You sat there in the middle row of the lecture, bored out of your mind. You stared at the chalkboard and occasionally glanced down at your notebook to doodle or something to make it appear you were paying attention. It was just an extra class you were forced to do for extra credits before the end of the semester.
Leon on the other hand was sat in the back row of that same class, he somehow managed to weasel his way into the same extracurricular as you so he could spy on you, a feeling of unease brewing in his belly as he watched you.
He didn’t trust you, he didn’t think you were a whore. That’s kinda hypocritical of him but he was put off by your presence. Maybe a little bit jealous of you and how you managed to make a name for yourself. It was almost like he was challenging you mentally. A challenge you yourself wasn’t even aware of.
He glanced up at the clock when he noticed people getting up, he collected his stuff immediately and quietly followed behind you. Leon felt like he was being a bit stalker ish but he wanted answers. Plus it’s not like he was doing it to be a pervert.
He watched as you met up with some friends to go study in the library, obviously he was still shadowing you from afar. His nose shoved inside a book in the far corner in the library but close enough to spy on you from a distance.
He didn’t gain much information, you were hard working with a flirtatious personality, it was kind of hard for him to gather anything from this. But he overheard you and your friends talking about going to a party, his head perked up a bit like a dog smelling a delicious treat.
He wasn’t sure why but he felt this strange feeling wash over him, could he confront you there? But why was he trying to confront you? In all honesty he wasn’t sure, he just knew that he was jealous and scared that he would become a nobody again.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。
You and your friends spoke happily about the most random stuff, like who got who pregnant, followed by did you see this new show? The topics never truly stayed on one solid one unless the whole group had a deep connection to it.
So it didn’t surprise you that a party happening later that night was mentioned. “It’s a costume party?” You asked curiously and your friend chuckled and nudged you with her elbow. “Oh my god, like yeah. Obviously. It’s halloween.” Ashley giggled and the rest of them did too.
“That’s so lame.” You murmured, twirling your pencil around in your hand. “Like.. this is the start of a bad hallmark movie or something.” You said as your lips pulled up into a thin line.
Your friends shrugged and they obviously knew you would go anyways, you glanced around the library per usual. Something you did just as a random habit and you spotted someone looking at you.
You frowned a bit as you watched the guy look away and bury his face back in his book. How strange? “What a weirdo.” Your friend, Jill, spoke up and it startled you a bit. “Huh?” You turned back to her and she stared at the guy before looking back at you.
“Do you know him?” She asked and you shook your head no. “Yeah.. I thought so. He kept glancing over here and I thought it was all in my head.” Jill mumbled softly as if to keep it between the both of you. With a nod of agreement from you Jill joined back into the conversation.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。
Leon on the other hand was burning red in embarrassment, you had looked right at him and made a face. Now he looked creepy. He should just leave the library now or something, anything! But he stayed glued to his seat, straining his ears to eavesdrop on your table.
After a while he watched you all get up and leave, he sighed softly and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Nice going, Kennedy. You’ve outdone yourself and now you look like a creep.” He muttered in annoyance.
He quickly packed his stuff up and exited the library, shooting his friends a quick text before heading towards his dorm. He needed a Halloween costume now.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。
Halloween shopping didn’t take long for your group of friends. All of you got ready in Claire’s dorm because it was spacious and she was the one who got the best one because rumor had it her brother fucked one of the deans for special privileges and Claire used it as blackmail for herself.
Everyone in that dorm knew it was far from the truth, she was just a good student and because of that she got special treatment alongside Chris.
Ashley was busy doing her makeup when she looked over at you who was staring at the costume you had got. “You okay?” She asked and you turned around to look at her. It was obvious to everyone she would go as Harley Quinn. It suited her. Is what you thought before responding.
“I’m questioning if this is too much.” You responded and Jill perked up. “Definitely not. It’s actually beneficial because it’ll probably be super hot at that party so the less clothes the better.” She murmured mindlessly as she put on her realistic wig..
Ashley and Claire glanced over at Jill before bursting out in a fit of giggles. “This is why we keep Jill on a high pedestal. She’s like super smart and pretty. It’s a two for one.” Ashley grinned and you chuckled softly.
Claire slung her arm over your shoulder and tugged you close. “Besides you’ll be matching with me, and y’know if someone bothers you and you don’t want them Chris will stand up for us.” She pinched your cheek gently and you swatted her hand away with a whine.
“Fine, you have a point.” You relented with raised hands as if you surrender. Claire smiled and grabbed her costume to change into.
Ashley put her hair up into two pigtails and grabbed the spray of temporary hair dye. “So.. Luis is going to be there.” She beamed, and everyone in the room rolled their eyes. “Ashley, you are such a simp for him.” Claire huffed and you and Jill nodded in agreement.
“Okay well it’s not my fault okay! It’s gotta be his stupid accent.” Ashley grumbled softly, pouting as she did so. When she turned around after staring at the vanity mirror for so long she smiled seeing everyone in their costumes.
Jill is Tiffany Valentine from the Chucky franchise, Ashley is Harley Quinn from the DC franchise, Claire is Starfire, and you are Raven.
You purse your lips as you hold the cape up between your fingertips. “You know for the longest time I had no idea what she was saying.” You admitted and everyone but Jill agreed. “You didn’t watch it with subtitles?” She laughed and you shook your head no with a grin.
“I thought she was just speaking gibberish.” You said and it just made everyone laugh harder as they gathered their things to get ready to leave. “Yeah because they would make one of their main characters speak gibberish everytime she used her powers.” Claire teased and you turned red with embarrassment but also laughter as you all walked out the door.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。
Leon on the other hand was pre gaming in his dorm room with his friends, Carlos, Chris, and Luis. “Dude you know how many hot chicks are going to be there?” Chris murmured as he slipped into a brown jacket, pulling gloves onto his hands while searching for his Jason Vorhees mask.
“I'm definitely scoring tonight.” Carlos said as he messed with his hair, a soft hum leaving his lips. Leon shrugged, not very interested in hooking up with anybody. He was more interested in trying to one up you.
Luis sat next to Leon on the couch and stared at him for a second. “¿Qué pasa, Sancho?” He asked, tilting his head at the blonde who seemed to be anxious. “Nothing. Just.. thinking. I guess.” He replied, rubbing his nape.
Luis cocked his eyebrow up and narrowed his eyes at Leon suspiciously. “Well, whatever it is. I’m here if you wanna talk.” He assured, placing his hand on Leon’s shoulder. Leon nodded and grabbed his Ghostface mask.
“Are we all ready?” Chris asked as Carlos was putting on his gloves with fake claws on them. He had the signature Freddy Krueger colors on while Luis had the iconic blue jumpsuit and Michael Myers mask. Once everyone was ready they set off to the party, Leon swallowed anxiously under his mask.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。
The first thing you were met with when you entered the frat house was a mess, a mess of drunk and high people. You made a face at the smell of sweat and sex filling the air. Have some decorum people. You grimaced as you were dragged through the party.
Somehow ending up in the living room with everyone in your friend group. “They have coke! Oh my gosh, I’ve like totally wanted to try it.” Ashley beamed and grabbed you. “C’mon let’s all do a line, when’s the next time you’ll be offered coke or something. We’ll be all old with wrinkles.” Ashley whined, trying to convince Claire and Jill who sighed and reluctantly agreed.
“Okay but doesn’t this like burn?” You questioned.
“What? Like Molly?” Ashley raised her eyebrow.
“No—Like doesn’t it burn your nostrils?” You raised an eyebrow back at her.
Jill sighed and picked up a straw that was on the table along with random lines of coke on the glass surface while you and Ashley argued over something as tedious as whether it’ll go down smoothly.
Claire followed in pursuit of Jill and did a line too, squeezing her eyes shut as she sniffled. “Jeez, that shit is strong..” She muttered as she pinched her nostrils, Jill nodded heavily in agreement.
“I forgot you’re the fucking coke queen of America. That’s my bad.” You huffed softly.
Ashley rolled her eyes and went to reach for a straw for you only to see Claire and Jill holding them. “You guys did it without us!!” She complained and you just sighed.
“Ash, we can just do a line right now.” You murmured which seemed to calm her down enough to keep her tantrum at bay. She holds your hand and leans down in sync with you as you both snorted a line.
At the same time you both did, Leon and his goon squad arrived at the party and everyone started cheering. Garnering the attention of all of you kneeled at the table.
You wiped away the residue on your nose and sniffled, narrowing your eyes at Leon for a second as he put on his Ghostface mask and his face was hidden again. He looked.. familiar.
You tried to ponder where you saw him at, but you just shrugged it off. Whatever. Probably nowhere.
Jill glanced over at Chris a few times while Claire was eyeing Carlos. Ashley immediately bounced up and was about to scurry over to Luis. You grabbed onto her wrist before she could run off.
“Ashley! Are you seriously ditching us for Luis?” You stared at her, trying to gauge her reaction.
“What? Noo—I would definitely not. ‘M just being friendly. I’ll totally come back.” She replied in her usual manner, which gave away that she was lying. You reluctantly let her go and she scurried off.
You sighed heavily as you watched Claire and Jill give each other a knowing look. “You guys too?!” You groaned out and they gave you a sheepish smile. “We’ll come back, we have our phones on sound and we’ll all go home together.” Jill assured, placing her hand on your thigh.
“You guys hate me.” You frowned with a slight pout and Claire pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Pinky promise we’ll come back.” She whispered and you took her pinky in your own. “Okay. Promise.” You sighed out.
Then you watched Claire and Jill disappear, probably to go curl up with Chris and Carlos. You weren’t very amused, the only reason you came was to hang out with them but Leon and his stupid friends came and ruined it.
Whatever. Least you had some entertainment, the coke on the table and the promise of alcohol.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。
Leon smirked as he entered the party, he knew he was hot shit. But that lingering fear that he would be some name in the past still brewed within him. Which is why he agreed to tag along. The only question was where were you?
He sauntered deeper into the party with his friends until one by one they were plucked away by girls he recognized from your friend group. He pursed his lips beneath his mask, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips as he glanced around.
It’s as if fate itself had its way of showing itself as you stumbled into the kitchen, not dressed in much. His eyes widened in surprise as you walked to the punch bowl that was probably spiked by now and got yourself a cup of juice.
He watched from the corner of his eye in awe as you licked the rim of the cup to clean the few drops of juice you got on the side of the cup. He gulped and chastised himself, no he wasn’t supposed to be staring at you like some lovesick maniac. He was trying to prove himself tonight.
He would plow through so much pussy tonight it would leave you behind in the dust. Or at least that’s what he hoped.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。
As the night lingered on you got more wasted to forget about the fact you got ditched for some dick. You couldn’t say you were surprised and honestly you were contemplating getting laid. But there was something uneasy about tonight.
Every room you slowly made your way into you saw some guy in the Ghostface costume making out with some girl, borderline groping each other over their clothes. At first you thought it was different guys until you got a good look at the face of the man behind the mask twice to realize it was the same guy with different girls each time. Weirdo. Is all you thought but you were smart enough to remember some guys have a game to see who can get the most kisses, hook ups, blowjobs in one night.
Leon on one hand was shocked each time you walked past him like it was nothing, like you just didn’t care. He was sure he could fuck some girl in front of everyone and you wouldn’t pay them any mind. What the hell?
With a growl he was determined to get your attention somehow, it didn’t even register that he was doing all this for your attention. His body reacting on pure instinct as he broke away from the kiss with the girl. A brief apology as he excused himself. Chasing after you as you drunkenly stumbled back to the kitchen.
He stood at a distance watching you rummage through the fridge. “All my friends hate me, oh my god.” You mumbled under your breath as you found nothing to satisfy your hungry belly. A soft pout on your expression until some guy pressed up against you from behind.
You paused for a second before you stood up straight and turned around to see some random guy in a batman costume staring down at you. “Uhm, hello.” You say as he leans down to inspect your costume. “Oh okay. Just go on ahead—“
“Raven? From Teen Titans?” He asked as his eyes met your own again.
“Oh yeah, my friend and I dressed as Raven and Starfire.” You slurred a bit as he rubbed his thumb over your chin. “Oh—Hellooo.” You giggled as the guy placed his other hand on your hip.
“We’re from the same franchise. I think your costume looks really cool.. I’m Brandon” He uttered softly, leaning down to brush his lips against yours and you eagerly reciprocated, whispering your own name into the kiss. You had plans starting to form in your head to go back with this guy to his dorm and hook up with him.
Well, you did at least plan to leave with him. But no way in hell was Leon going to let that happen. He stormed over, his angry expression hidden behind the Ghostface mask, he cleared his throat and tugged you away from the guy.
He glanced between you and the guy in his stupid batman costume. When he realized what he had done he immediately lied on the spot, blurting the first name of your friend that came to mind. “Ashley! Erm—Ashley asked if you could come help her with something.”
You blinked a few times as you processed what was said, realizing that the guy behind the Ghostface costume must know Ashley, which didn’t surprise you. “Oh.”
You bit on your bottom lip and glanced at Brandon. “Sorry. My friend needs me.” You replied and latched onto Leon’s arm. “Lead the way.” You hiccuped.
Leon immediately walked off with you, feeling a sense of pride at the knowledge he ruined that moment for you. Yet when he looked down at your face you didn’t seem to mind, in fact you seemed more worried about your friend.
Leon guided you out the party, letting the fresh air overcome him and you. He didn’t realize how hot it was inside until he stepped outside with you.
“Wait. She left the party?” You stopped in your tracks and gently tugged on Leon’s arm.
“What?” He said, confusion laced in his tone before he remembered the lie he uttered. “Oh yeah—yeah. She uhm, left to go with him but she told him to tell me you needed her.”
You didn’t seem to question him any further, which was a relief for him because he wasn’t sure how much more he could lie as he guided you back to the dorms. More specifically his.
What the fuck am I doing?
Why did I care so much that she was going to kiss some random dude?
Why am I taking her back to my dorm?
I should’ve been on my fourth hook up tonight and yet I haven’t touched any naked body yet.
Leon’s mind raced as he unlocked the door and guided you inside, closing the door behind him and locking it as you called out for Ashley.
“Ashley! Ugh I swear if it’s not something important and you made me miss out on the opportunity to get laid I’m gonna murder you!” You groaned out as you stumbled in your platformed boots; which in theory are horrible to wear while being wasted.
Leon pulled his mask off and tossed it onto his couch, wiping the sweat from his brow before he followed after you, grabbing hold of your wrist to turn you around towards him gently.
“Ew your hands are like.. gross and sweaty.” You made a face of disgust and his nose scrunched up in annoyance.
“Okay that’s a bit rude.” He huffed and looked at you, he would finally be able to see you for you at this moment. It suddenly hit him.
You’re not competition, obviously not if you’re not bragging about your hook up to him, rather your friend who definitely isn’t here.
Hell, you’re just a girl. A girl who he’s jealous of for no reason.
A girl who’s.. really fucking pretty?
His eyes widened as he came to the realization that it wasn’t anger at being replaced, it wasn’t jealousy of hearing your name being uttered time and time again instead of his.
No, that's stupid. I’ll see if she’s really as good as everyone says she is. He was determined to see what was so special about you.
Your nose scrunched up as if mimicking his own expression as you could see different emotions ran across his face. “Uhm hello?—“ You went to wave your hand in front of his eyes when he tightened his grip on you and pulled you in for a kiss with force. Such force that you stumbled.
A quick lie running out of his mouth smoothly as he cupped your face in his hands. “I lied, Ashley didn’t call you here.. I just have such a big crush on you and didn’t know how to express it.” He breathed out as your tongue ran over his bottom lip.
You, to his surprise, didn’t fight back or protest the kiss. You seemed to encourage it more than anything.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s kinda sly of you..” You remarked as you pulled back from the kiss, your lipstick smeared on his soft plump ones. You brought your thumb up to his bottom lip and wiped away as much as you could.
“So what’s your name you big stud.” You teased in a drunken tone, Leon bit his bottom lip and ducked down to capture your lips again. “Leon.” He muttered into the kiss, slowly guiding you to his room with careful steps.
He could tell you were getting tired of how slow he was moving so he patted your thigh to encourage you to hop up. Once you did he grabbed the back of your legs and held you firmly against him, your lips not parting from his own as he stumbled into his bedroom.
He dropped you down onto the bed and finally pulled away. “I have to turn on the lamp..” He mumbled quietly as he reached off to the side to flick the light on. The moonlight helped to illuminate the parts of the room the light didn’t reach fully.
When he looked down at you he felt his heart rate increase. “Fuck.” He cursed and you just smiled at the sight above you.
You reached your hand up to move his hair out of his face. “What? Think I’m pretty or something?” You asked and he nodded, a soft giggle leaving your precious lips.
So precious. He thought as he pressed his left palm above your head against the bed while his other hand came up to cup and fondle your breast above your costume.
You managed to kick your boots off somehow, leaning back against the bed comfortably. “Well that’s sweet of you. I think you’re quite handsome.” You replied as your hair laid spread out behind you.
Leon hesitated for a second, what does he do now? He’s been hooking up with people for awhile now and for once in his life he’s stunned on what to do next. He opens his mouth to speak but all that comes out is a soft moan as you drag his hand up to your mouth to suck on his thumb.
“Hah.. you’re good at that hm?” He cooed, pressing his thumb down against your tongue. With a soft hum from you he adjusted the way he was hovering above you so he could use both hands instead of one.
He dragged his left hand down your torso right down to your pussy, he could feel the heat radiating off of such an intimate part of you. This made his cock throb with want as he pushed the crotch of your costume to the side.
“I guess this costume is pretty much easy access..” He spoke his inner thoughts aloud, watching you blush beneath his watchful gaze before his fingertip brushed against your clit.
You mewled softly and brought your hands up to paw at his chest, wanting his costume off but he clicked his tongue. “Patience. Good things come to those who wait.” He scolded you lightly and gave you a shit eating grin as you frowned.
“You’re like a delicacy.” He explained, rubbing his middle and ring finger through your folds before prodding them against your hole. “You must be handled with care.” He punctuated his words by shoving his fingers inside of you.
You gasped and your back arched off the bed a little. “O-Oh fuck. That feels good.. your fingers are so thick.” You whimpered around his thumb, he snickered softly and pulled his thumb away from your mouth, pressing the wet digit against your clit to rub hard and fast circles against the sensitive little bud while his other hand moved in tandem by fucking his fingers in and out of you.
A slick squelching sound resounding through the room followed by lewd moans coming from you. Who would’ve thought having sex while being high on coke made everything feel ten times better?
“Leon.” You whined softly as your walls clenched down tightly around his fingers. “You’re g’nna make me cum..”
Leon just shrugged and leaned down to nip at your neck. “And? That’s what you want, right baby?” He whispered directly in your ear, sucking on your earlobe. He let out a low chuckle as you cried out a soft yes.
He doubled down on his efforts and you swore you saw stars, definitely. You squealed softly as your orgasm crashed down onto your body like a truck, your cheeks and the tips of your ears turning red and hot with arousal.
“There’s we go. That’s my girl.” He lapped at the pulse point on your neck as you settled down from your high, he took the opportunity to strip himself of his clothes but not before getting a taste of what he was going to be indulging in.
He brought his fingers up to his mouth and swirled his tongue around his own digits, sighing softly as he tasted the sweet essence that he had coaxed out of you.
“God. That shits perfect.” Leon bit his bottom lip as he began to remove his clothes, eyeing you hungrily as his cock sprung up into view.
You mumbled something before sitting up on your elbows, your mouth almost instantly watering at the sight of his dick. “Woah.” You blinked a few times before reaching out to touch.
Accidentally grabbing it too hard made Leon hiss in pleasure. “God damn. Easy baby.” He groaned out, and you winced out a soft apology, letting him guide your hand to be the perfect pressure and pace for him to get off on.
“Wait..” You said suddenly which made Leon pause, staring down at you questioningly. “Can you get your uh.. the mask.” You asked coyly, twirling a strand of your hair around your finger slyly as it registered what you wanted in his head.
“Sure thing.” He chuckled and patted your cheek, disappearing for a second before returning with the mask on his head. You grinned wickedly as he stood near the edge of his bed.
“How do I look—“ He was cut off by you yanking him down onto the bed, straddling him as you smirked. “I’m gonna absolutely ravish you.” You sighed out softly, having already removed your clothes when he stepped out the room.
Leon was quite stunned at the 360 shift in attitude. You were just crying on his fingers a few seconds ago and now you’re practically pinning him down. He placed his hands on your thighs, gently rubbing his thumbs against your soft skin.
“Yeah? What if I want to ravish you?” He retorted and you leaned down to press your bare chest against his own, “You could try.” You slurred quietly, but as the hours went on the more you slightly sobered up.
“Guess I’ll have to try super hard then.” He whispered softly as he grabbed his cock, rubbing the tip of it through your folds with a soft hum. You bit your bottom lip as you eventually sank down on him, the two releasing a soft moan in sync with each other.
It didn’t take long for Leon to start bouncing you on his cock as you rode him with an eager pace, it seems the mask was doing things for you that you yourself weren’t even aware would do.
The wet sounds between the two resounding through the room as skin on skin slapping against each other blended into the mix. “Fuck, you’re so tight.. ‘n wet.. ‘n warm.” He whined, fingers digging into your plush thighs as he bucked his hips up into you.
You nodded in acknowledgment. Your eyes fluttered shut as you could feel that coil in your gut tightening with each thrust and bounce. You knew you were close and so did Leon. “I’m almost there.” He panted out, gulping beneath the mask which was starting to prove to be extremely hot. He was sure he had sweat all over his face and head, if he was to remove the mask he was 99% sure that his hair would be thoroughly damp.
Yet if he could get girls to ride him as crazy and as good as you do he would wear it for every hookup encounter he ever had.
You reached your hands up to start punching and twisting your nipples, fondling your tits to tease him. He grunted loudly as he watched you with bated breath. “Fuck, keep playing with yourself like that. Touch that pretty little clit of yours too.” He gritted out as you did so, causing your walls to clamp down tightly around his cock.
Your jaw dropped as his cock brushed against that spongy spot inside of you that never failed to give you chills. “I-I can’t hold it..” You cried out, hand still moving quickly against your clit. Leon could see your chest rising and falling quickly and he was just a few seconds away from spilling his own seed.
“I know. W-Where do you want it?” He uttered aloud, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back against his bed. “Mm. Inside, please.” You whined, bucking your hips eagerly.
Leon's eyes shot open and his head shot up to stare at you. “Fuck.. that’s so hot. Are you sure?” He was a bit nervous and didn’t want to cum inside of you if you weren’t 100% sure.
With an eager nod you spoke once more. “Yes! God, please! Inside of me, Leon.” You insisted, throwing your head back in pleasure as he thrusted a couple more times before pulling your hips flush against his own, he came before you did and it only took a few quick rubs from you before your orgasm hit you once more.
You practically collapsed on top of him with a heavy breath, resting your head on his chest as he moved his hands up to pull the mask off, finally being free of the sweaty contraption. He wrapped both his arms around you as his cock started to soften within your warm wet walls.
Fuck. He had to admit that the people were right about you being a good fuck.
Especially when you looked up at him with that soft smile but your eyes told a different story as you wiggled your hips a bit, it’s as if he didn’t even start to soften to begin with as he was fully hard within seconds.
Guess he was in for a long night, just as long as you don’t hear the incessant buzzing coming from your phone that was discarded on his nightstand haphazardly from your friends.
#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x you#leon scott kennedy x reader#leon kennedy fanfic#resident evil#leon kennedy smut#writing ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚#fuckboy!leon#fuckgirl!reader#kinktober
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BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS!!!!!!!!
(I don't remember where I found this photo, if it happens to be yours lmk!)
Alex Hirch really made Ford and Fiddleford as gay as possible without explicitly saying they're gay
Fiddleford:
1. Fiddleford got Ford not one, but TWO gifts. HANDMADE. A snow globe model of the cabin and a pair of six-fingered gloves that he went through FIVE prototypes for. This man is serious about gifts.
2. When he wants to be. Because who did he get the gifts for? The two gifts lovingly and painstakingly designed and handcrafted? Right, Ford. Obviously. Because he cares about Ford. So when he goes back home to visit his wife and kid, he'll get them something too, because they're his family.
3. Wait what
4. Alex what
5. What the fuck do you mean he forgot to get his wife a Christmas present
6. Are you telling me that Fiddleford sees Ford as more of a partner than his literal wife
7. OK, you could argue that he was just preoccupied with the lab/portal stuff, and he wanted to do something really extra nice for Ford, so he completely spaced getting his wife a Christmas gift. OK, sure. It's not inherently gay to be a forgetful husband.
8. But it is gay to write "try to forget" on a torn picture of the day he and Ford became roommates in college, implying that the memory of their relationship is traumatic on par with literally seeing a demon from another dimension. (EDIT: IT IS ALSO GAY TO WRITE "MISS YOU" IN A CODE ON THE WHITEBOARD IN THE PHOTO OF THE FIRST DAY THEY MET. I'm not sure who's supposed to be the one who wrote that, probably fiddleford since he tore the photo, but did he know any of the ciphers? I don't know. It's gay, I don't know.)
9. TRY TO FORGET WHAT, FIDDLEFORD
10. YOUR GAY FEELINGS FOR STANFORD PINES???
Ford:
1. Fellas, is it gay to seek companionship in isolation? When Fiddleford tells Ford he's flying back to visit his wife, this cuts him deeply.
2. Ford says "of course...who could fault him? I sometimes forget there is a world outside my lab."
3. So... the way Ford says this feels like he knows that Fiddleford's marriage isn't working out, for whatever reason. "Who could fault him?" My dude, that's his wife???
(Also side note, but I find it interesting that Ford says "F confessed that he's flying back home to visit Emma-May." Important words: confessed-why did he not want to tell/ leave Ford? Visit-why say Fiddleford is visiting his wife? Why not that he's flying back to be with his wife, or to reconnect?)
4. Again- Ford is reminded that there is "a world outside my lab" i.e. Fiddlefords wife. A world that he's not a part of and cannot fathom.
5. Fiddleford saving Ford from the Krampus and then immedietly hugging. Or, sorry- "EMBRACING." Fellas, is it gay to embrace your homie after a near death experience?
6. Ford immedietly asking if he can cheer Fiddleford up after him mentioning the fight with his wife (you know, the one about him not getting her a Christmas gift even though he clearly cares a lot about gifts). Not even asking like "dude...really?" Just immediete support. Maybe even understanding?
7. Ford calling Fiddleford down to the portal room to surprise him with the lights and decorations. "The smile on his face proved I'd made the right choice." OH, IS THAT RIGHT STANFORD
8. Ford knowing and playing Fiddlefords favorite song???
9. Them getting nog-drunk, building snowmen, and reminiscing about old times??? REMINISCING??? NOT THE REMINISCING!!!
10. "It can be hard sometimes to find a moment to celebrate when you're lost in the cold...but it's easier with new gloves." OH. OK.
That is all.
#gravity falls#the book of bill#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#fiddleauthor#book of bill spoilers#the book of bill spoilers
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Roommate: Too sick (chapter 1)
Pairing: Hazel Callahan x Reader
Summary: Hazel, you, PJ and Josie got accepted in the same college and were living together. You didn't know that Hazel was such a mother hen till you became roommates. You tried not to get too flustered while she took care of you.
Warning: 18+ Themes
Warning: Swearing. Mentions of vibrators and alcohol. This fic most likely contain smut scenes in later chapters.
Other Chapters: Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5
Song Recommendation: Crush - Tessa Violet
PJ, Josie, Hazel and you all wanted to go to same college and accepted which you all were super excited about. It has been months since you share the same place. Four rooms, living room and kitchen are combined and two bathrooms. Of course only one has a shower. But still thank god It's two bathrooms.
It has been a real experience living with them for you.
It's usually Josie and you who cooks. PJ and Hazel were officially banned from the kitchen. Well, not the fridge. But you know, the stove…
It was decided by Josie and you when Hazel and PJ tried to make Hazel's grandmother's recipe. They were alone at home when it happened. PJ wanted to help Hazel to cook, for the first time in forever and it did not end well. You were the first one who found out this incident. You were going to a friend's to study but you realized you forgot your phone at your guys place so you went back and saw the the huge ass smoke and firefighters and a frantic Hazel and PJ on the street.
Sundays were cleaning days. Everyone cleaned their own room, except PJ. Her room was the messiest and most dust producing room which made the whole place worse. All of you argued with her regularly about this but she swore that she cleaned it regularly.
One time she took Hazel's shirt to wear it for a date which she never asked Hazel If she could take it and of course PJ being PJ, forgot to give her shirt back.
"Ugh, I couldn't find it, okay. Just look into my room."
"What do you mean look into your room? If I go there, I don't know If I will be able to come back! Have you seen your room?"
"It's literally a black hole that is disguised as a pile of stuff." You stated with a smirk.
"It's a PJ hol-" Josie was about to smugly say,
"Okay! That's enough! I got it, okay!" until PJ interrupted Josie.
You told Hazel you would help her looking for her shirt which was an encouragement for her cause God knows, It takes lots of courage to go in that room.
You and Hazel started to look for the shirt in PJ's room.
"Oh…Oh my god! OH MY GOD!" Hazel shouted. Hazel put her hands onto her head and moved backwards with worried eyes.
"What? You found i-, Oh my god! What is this!" Hazel gagged as she sat down on the floor and you looked at the thing for a while, not believing what you see.
You snorted and laughed hysterically. "Josie! Josie, come here!" You screamed and held your stomach as Hazel groaned as she was in pain.
"What? Guys, why are you-, Hazel are you okay?" Josie kneeled down next to Hazel.
"I wish I never came here." Hazel's bottom lip quiverred as her eyes got teary. She layed on the floor in fetal position, color drenched out her skin.
Josie left Hazel's side to see what you were trying to show her and she saw the 'thing' and froze in her place like three minutes then PJ came into the room.
The 'thing' was a vibrator. A baby blue vibrator with a silicone layer which was covered a mild green to a dark green mold. Plus tiny flies were on it. You didn't know how many.
"What's this all fuss about, huh? My room's messy I got i-. Hey, I was looking for this… I guess I have to get a new one." she sighed and got out of the room with a moldy vibrator.
"You guess?" you aand Hazel shouted at the same time.
We all got out of her room. Hazel recovered from this incident once she calmed down. As for Josie, we all knew she would never be the same after this incident. Except PJ, who thinks vibrators getting moldy is only natural so she didin't understand the trauma she caused.
Hazel never found her shirt as PJ never cleaned her room. You thought she wouldn't want it back anyways.
You would still laugh whenever you remembered this.
College was never really boring with your roommates. You thought your friends at college were cool but your roommates were TRULY one in a million.
For you, Hazel was one of a kind.
You knew you needed to wear something more suitable for autumn but you didn't want to look like a buritto, going to the parties. It had a cost.
You coughed and it sounded like as If you were an animal who's in pain and about to die. You sneezed into the poor napkin as you layed down on your bed. 'How It was possible to be tired while you were laying down all day?' you thought as you sneezed again. You got up and opened the window. It was cold but you needed fresh air too.
You were upset that you missed your classes. You mailed your professors and they let you know It's okay. You would take your notes from your friends anyway.
You thought of last night. PJ interrupted Hazel's studying last evening, again. You were glad that you studied at library earlier. It was quiet and PJ-free. You liked your friend but she usually would convince you all to watch a movie, play a board game or go to a party. Or she would simply talk to you not caring If you listen or not.
Flashback
"Come on! Barry is giving a huge ass party. There is booze, there are girls, there are-"
"PJ, you are with Brittany. You remember, right? " Josie interrupted.
"Yeah…but no one says you can't look. I am not gonna eat them. I'll just… observe them. Just a small feast for my eyes since she decided to went to a college far away." PJ crossed her arms with a frown.
"You can always video chat with her." Hazel pouted.
"It's not the same thing, Hazel!" PJ yelled, frustrated.
"Yeah but what would she feel If one of us accidentally told her what you have said about party and girls and observing them…" you said with a playful smirk.
PJ raised her brows. "I'd probably beat the shit out of you."
"Ugh, that's harsh." you scoffed.
"Anyways, we should get ready. Move your asses, now!" PJ said as she walked to her room to get ready for the party.
"Are you going, Y/N?" she looked at you with puppy eyes.
"Yeah… I would try to convince you to come but I don't want to interrupt your studying." you said with sad eyes.
Hazel played with her rings. " I had swimming practice. If I wouldn't, I could study with you earlier."
"Study with me?" You raised brow. How did she knew you studied? Did she saw you?
"Yeah…library is on the way to pool so… a-and you always study on the same corner next to window." She played with her rings nervously.
'She saw me all the times...' you gulped to the thought. You looked at her hands, not being able to face her. She was playing with her rings nervously until she catched you watching them. Three, maybe four seconds passed when you realized she saw that you were looking at her hands. It could be just because you liked her rings.
In a totally straight way, obviously.
You averted your gaze and got up from your seat. "I didn't realize you saw me." you chuckled nervously.
"Yeah…I never told you and you look very focused during studying so…" she nodded her head to herself.
"Hm…we can always study another time If you'd like… Well, not here though, cause-"
"PJ?" she smiled widely.
"Yeah." You answered her smile with yours.
"I am going to change now. Have a good study session." you said and walked to your room to change your clothes.
You walked to your room and after spending five minutes in front of your wardrobe, you wore a white crop top, black baggy jeans, black converse and a black denim jacket. You left your hair down.
"Nice…" PJ said with a smirk.
"Thanks. You too." You checked her clothes.
"Isn't that a little bit thin though? You might get cold." Hazel said pointing your crop top. You blushed at what she said.
She was changed her clothes as well.
Josie pointed at Hazel. "Are you coming?"
"Yep."
PJ smirked coyly." That's the spirit!"
"Weren't you going to study?" you raised a brow.
"I'll study tomorrow. I'm not gonna drink much tonight, anyways." she said, looking at your clothes. "Really, Y/N, you'll get sick. "
"It's fine… We have a ride." you sighed.
"Even I don't worry that much for my girlfriend, Hazel." PJ wiggled her brows playfully with a smirk.
You couldn't help but blushed at what PJ said. You saw Hazel was looking down at her shoes and Josie was smiling at both of you.
Josie's smile ended with her phone ring. "Our ride is here. Let's go."
End of the flashback
You didn't know If this was cold or flu but Hazel was right.
You got sick and everything hurt. Moving hurt. Your head hurt. Your eyes felt like they were pierced. Your ears hurt. You could hardly breathe. Whatever this was, It was draining the shit out of you. You hated that you were wrong but you loved that Hazel was all around you. You also felt guilty about it cause she was interrupting her studying by checking up on you, getting you water, food, making you herbal teas every half an hour…
The thing about Hazel, she turns into a mother hen whenever someone gets sick. Especially when you were sick. You thought it was because you were closer with her than PJ and Josie.
You still rememeber the first week of moving here, you had a migraine attack. She went to the pharmacy without anyone noticing and came back with painkillers and a migraine stick.
And she massaged your temple till you fell aslept. You didn't know If you imagined something touching on your forehead. Preferably her lips. But you thought It was probably a fantasy of yours or a dream.
Of course, you were very pleased with her taking care of you. So you didn't mind getting sick. Maybe even It led you to wear thinner clothes. Not on purpose though.
Subconsciously.
You didn't really wanted to admit it but the idea of someone taking care of you, turned you on a little bit.
The idea of Hazel taking care of you, burned and twisted the parts of you, which you never knew that existed because you had a slight crush on her.
Just a tiny one…
Hazel knocked the door three times.
"Come in." your voice came out shaky.
Hazel came into your room with a smile.
"Hazel you don't have to check up on me every hour." you coughed as you said.
Hazel grabbed a chair with her one hand and placed it next your bed with a smile. She became more musclar and the veins on her arms looked like they were going to pop since she decided to join the college's swimming team. You were very enthusiastic about her decision.
She had a bowl in her hand. You looked up to her and saw her pouting.
"I'm so close thinking you don't want me here, Y/N."
'Well, fuck me!' you cursed to yourself for making her think that. You didn't think she was joking.
"Of course I want you here, Haze. It's just you couldn't study last night and now you can't study because of me." you explained quickly.
She grinned. "I know you do. And I am studying very well and I need breaks too, you know."
She usually took things at face value so It made you shocked to see her saying something without meaning it.
"Well you said it seriously so I thought-"
"I was joking." She took the strand of hair which was front of your nose and placed it behind your ear.
She beamed at you for a half a minute. You felt your heart beating very fast.
"Yeah… What's that?" you pointed to the bowl in her hand.
You noticed a spoon in Hazel's hand and the bowl was smelling really good.
"Chicken soup. I squeezed some lemon in it too."
Your eyes widen at what she has just said.
"No, no, no! I didn't make it! I ordered it. Don't worry. I made a promise to you and Josie and I remember." Her eyes widened as well.
You chuckled. "Okay. Cool. Uhm,… thank you Hazel." You sit up staright in your bed and you were going to took the bowl from Hazel's hand but she didn't give it to you.
"Ugh…?" You have her a confusing look.
"Let me feed you, please. " She made a puppy face.
"Y-you don't have to." you stuttered. Honestly, even your arms hurt when you moved them. And you would definitely not mind her feeding you. It was just you were afraid to make a fool of yourself.
"You seem really tired. Come on. " She pouted again.
"Ugh…okay but stop making that face." you said you averted your gaze.
"What face?" she grinned. Maybe she actually knew what she was doing.
"You know what you're doing, don't you?" She ignored your question and sighed as she blew the soup little to make it colder.
"Open up." she smiled as she held the spoon full of soup to you.
You drinked the soup and It was delicious. You would drink whatever she gave anyway.
"Thank you Hazel. Soup felt really good." you smiled gratefully to her. Your cheeks burned but It was okay that your cheeks were pink because you were sick so she wouldn't think it that way.
"Of course. Least I can do." She smiled at you for a moment as you held eye contact with her. "Oh, I forgot the vitamin!" she said as she got up and left your room.
"What? You ordered vitamin too?" you yelled for her to hear you from the other room.
She came back with a vitamin c supplement in her hand.
"No, I went to the pharmacy."
"Hazel you spent too much time. You go study now!" You scolded her.
"Okay, okay! And It was a ten minute walk. It's not much. Plus walking in fresh air is a good break time."
"Here." She held the vitamin your lips and you felt bold and took it with your lips while keeping eye contact with her.
It was awkward.
In a sexy way.
Her body froze except her eyelids, they blinked a couple of times until she gave you a glass of water to swallow the pill.
She cleared her throat. "So, I'll go study now. If there is anything you need-"
"I'll tell you. I know."
"Okay." she said as she rushed out of the room.
'Fuck.' you told yourself and laid down on your back as you wait for sleep.
#hazel callahan x reader#hazel callahan fanfiction#hazel callahan#bottoms movie#bottoms hazel#bottoms 2023#lgbtq#sapphic
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Favorite Complete Joongdok AU Fics
One-shots
Helpful Scenarios: What If by 16Wishes; 5,555 words, Rated: Teen; Modern AU - YJH & crew run an account where they post social experiment videos, dedicated to capturing and spreading human kindness and empathy towards one another. KDJ is their main subject.
In Continuation by 16Wishes; 8,888 words, Rated: Mature; Modern AU - how YJH met KDJ and conquered the gaming industry - completing life's checkpoints one at a time together.
a gaggle of sunfish bastards by Anonymous; 13,287 words, Rated: Teen; Hero/Villain AU - Top hero YJH volunteers to infiltrate the villain organization that was apparently attempting to clone him. What he finds instead is KDJ.
*slaps roof of car* this bad boy can fit so many misunderstandings in it by Anonymous; 7,605 words, Rated: Mature; Modern/SocMed/Mob AU - KDJ makes fanart for his webnovel based on his and his estranged friend YJH's appearances. When HSY wants permission to use his designs for a webcomic adaptation, he needs to reunite with YJH to give him a heads-up. YJH has become a Mob boss.
Manager Squid Supremacy by Arcanvas; 9,200 words, Rated: Teen; Modern/Idol/Social Media AU - Even after KDJ's 'resignation', his dear idols never fail to give him a headache. Only this time, it gets worse with his newfound fame on social media.
the siren's song by crispy_scoliosis; 1,960 words, Rated: Gen; Fantasy AU - Unseelie King YJH keeps hearing his people talk about hearing a siren singing a sad melody. He goes to investigate.
meow for me by dirtpellets; 5,222 words, Rated: Gen; Modern/Cat Cafe AU - KDJ becomes the object of affection for two local tsunderes: one human, one cat. A battle of great honor ensues.
how to stan my idol boyfriend by idlemurmurs; 2,349 words, Rated: Gen; Modern/Idol AU - The best way to show support to your idol boyfriend? Buying his merch.
home, an irrevocable condition by kero (tofuflower); 18,390 words, Rated: Teen; Modern/College AU - KDJ works at a maid cafe. He tries to keep his job a secret from YJH. Which works until it doesn't.
To Live With Dying by MatchaMochi; 3,416 words, Rated: Teen; Royalty/Isekai AU - YJH & KDJ live in 2 different worlds literally. They can only meet every time YJH dies.
Anemoia by pinkeque; 10,157 words, Rated: Teen; Modern AU - YJH (41st), a soldier, and KDJ, a war photographer, meet and grow closer during war times. Their story is told from the future from different points of view.
there's a thin line between boyfriend and boyfan by psychoguava; 7,322 words, Rated: Teen; Modern/Idol AU - Idol KDJ accidentally finds his bf's secret stash of his merch.
he said she said by quillifer; 3,288 words, Rated: Teen; Modern/College AU - Jihye has no idea why her taciturn advisor is so invested in the rumors about Professor Kim's love life.
the way to a man's heart by quillifer; 6,368 words, Rated: Teen; Modern/High School AU - YJH might anonymously make KDJ lunch three times a week, but he's not nursing a crush. Pinky promise.
All the Things My Hands Have Held by spoonks; 6,397 words, Rated: Teen; Modern/No Scenario AU - in a world where the apocalypse didn't start YJH, KDJ, & YMA are their own little family.
Given Life First by spoonks; 6,545 words, Rated: Gen; Modern with Magic AU - It wasn’t until a few months had passed that the public finally realized that the world was no longer how they remembered.
No More Snow in the Mountains by spoonks; 20,750 words, Rated: Teen; Fantasy AU - KDJ gets transported to a novel of a different genre.
tall tales and thick tails by zxrysky; 5,917 words, Rated: Teen; Magic AU - YJH needs a familiar. HSY sets up a summoning ritual to get him one. He ends up with a fox.
Multi-chapter/Series
vital signs by anemotions (realdefonge); Multi-chapter (10,702 words), Rated: Teen; Modern AU - Medical Intern KDJ keeps meeting CEO YJH during his monthly check-up.
love letters for your lips by Anonymous; Multi-chapter (29,771 words), Rated: Explicit; Modern AU - Chef Yoo tries to seduce an oblivious Kim Dokja using food, with little success.
Heart Signal AU by Anonymous; Series, Rated: Teen; Story 1 (Compete - 149,679 words) & Story 2 (Complete - 2,787 words); Modern AU - Long lost childhood friends reuniting on a dating show.
Surely It Was Fate by Anonymous; Multi-chapter (867,644 words), Rated: Teen; Modern AU - YJH and KDJ meet at the hospital as teens, than keep meeting over and over throughout their lives. Like it was fated.
@thereader has blocked you by AssassinOfChaos: Multi-chapter (14,364 words), Rated: Gen; Modern AU - Pro-Gamer YJH can't figure out why he's blocked by a fellow gamer on all socmed platforms.
The Story of Us by augustiamoon; Multi-chapter (73,514 words), Rated: Teen; Modern AU - Journalist KDJ is assigned to shadow Pro Gamer YJH for an article.
and i hope that one day, you will love yourself too. by dkdlel3; Multi-chapter (215,734 words), Rated: Teen; Modern/High School AU - YJH meets a boy with lifeless eyes and helps him live again.
He can't be real by erisky; Multi-chapter (4,853 words), Unrated; Modern AU - In which HSY has to give relationship advice to a dumbass who somehow doesn't understand why his boyfriend loves him.
in hindsight no one with an avatar that ugly could be an npc by exocara; Multi-chapter (Abandoned - 1,781 words), Rated: Teen; Modern AU - Pro gamer/streamer YJH realizes that the npc he's been fond of for years isn't what it seems.
killed those men by Frill; Multi-chapter (12,279 words), Rated: Teen; Modern AU - KDJ is good at covering up other people's murders.
picture you in my mind by glazing; Multi-chapter (11,266 words), Rated: Teen; Modern/Social Media fic - Pro-Gamer YJH and Book Youtuber KDJ face off in a FaceOff Poll and flirt with each on Twitter.
in each other's eyes, we are observers by idlemurmurs; Multi-chapter (14,193 words), Rated: Teen; Modern/College AU - Painter KDJ finds a muse in YJH.
not a round without romance by keijhi; Multi-chapter (4,027 words), Rated: Gen; Dating Sim AU - YJH & KDJ are NPCs in a dating sim.
from fact into fable by lilaclavenders; Series, Rated: Teen; Story 1 (8,232 words), Story 2 (7,892 words), Story 3 (3,069 words), Story 4 (11,425 words), Story 5 (6,169 words), Story 6 (4,041 words), Story 7 (3,738 words), & Story 8 (Ongoing); Modern AU - no scenarios au where everyone meets each other earlier in life
aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? by midothusiast; Multi-chapter (40,157 words), Rated: Teen; Modern AU - KDJ finds himself a brooding neighbor as he settles in his new apartment while being subjected with a proposal (in-game).
what is home? by ninidream; Multi-chapter (42,760 words), Rated: Teen; Instead of living in great affliction, KDJ decides to move out from his relatives. Coincidentally, YJH does, too.
Reincarnated As My Youngest Brother by NurikoEsuki; Modern/No Scenario AU - Multi-chapter (67,052 words), Rated: Teen; KDJ is murdered by his father and reincarnated into the body of his unborn brother.
and i hope that when you say forever, you want all the little things that come along with such a big promise by quillifer; Multi-chapter (19,979 words), Rated: Explicit; Modern AU - In which KDJ and YJH decide to start a family, documenting the frequently emotional and occasionally hilarious hijinks that ensue along the way.
prelude to a duet by rioseco; Multi-chapter (10,130 words), Rated: Gen; Modern/High School AU - KDJ has an encounter with the lead guitarist of his favorite local rock band.
Moving Out of the Closet by Sinnatious; Multi-chapter (21,411 words), Unrated; Modern AU - YJH meets his neighbour KDJ, who at first glance seems to be living in what he thought was the building's janitor's closet.
love in 144p by straycatmilkyway; Multi-chapter (12,085 words), Rated: Teen; Modern/Social Media AU - Popular Idol YJH becomes infatuated with down on his luck idol KDJ. KDJ has been YJH's fan for a decade. This is their developing romance through a socmed lens.
Filthy Acts at a Reasonable Price by threecrossings; Multi-chapter (5,065 words), Rated: Mature; Modern AU - KDJ had YJH meet his mom as his fake boyfriend to stop her from setting him up on dates.
[Rewrite] On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog by threecrossings; Multi-chapter (88,324 words), Rated: Teen; Modern AU - KDJ & YJH catfish each other in a MMORPG.
Mortifying Ordeal by WindsOfTime; Multi-chapter (85,978 words), Rated: Teen; Modern/Soulmate AU - Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk are soulmates. KDJ has known for 20 years now. YJH thinks he doesn't have one because a "wall" is blocking his access to their bond.
To Kim Dokja by YukiSkyes; Multi-chapter (19,528 words), Rated: Gen; Modern/High School AU - KDJ gets a love letter in his locker. YJH is not happy.
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venus .
synopsis; you're going on your third year of university, and your friend kazuha invites you to an end of the year ball. parties have never been your thing, but for her? youll make an exception.
trope; non-idol!kazuha x f!reader, friends to lovers, fluff, suggestive, kinda smut? ball/fancy party ! university au!
wc; 6.3k
cw; kinda suggestive, kinda smut? cursing.
a/n; i decided to try writing something suggestive for the first time and next thing u know im 6k words in and i started going thru burnout near the middle/end >< apologies, just wanted to get one last fic out before i disappear to china for 2 weeks!
Your eyebrows knit together with immense concentration as your eyes shift between the notebook on the picnic table and your laptop propped up in front of it, your hand gripping your pen with an unbreakable grip. It was a wonderful day out on the university campus quad, with perfectly warm but not too hot temperatures and a light breeze, and you decided to take advantage of the perfect study environment to finish up the last homework assignments you had. You could see people from the corner of your vision, some were walking with friends, others lounging within hammocks they propped up between trees, you could even spot a group of boys playing pickleball. There were squirrels either digging within the dirt or rummaging through nearby trash cans, and birds singing from the trees. These were perfect conditions to allow for optimum problem solving. You look back at your work. Now, if you just had the correct formula and numbers, the answer should be…
“y/n!”
Before you could even process who had ripped your focus away from solving your chemistry homework, a colorful piece of paper was shoved directly into your face. With the way it was aggressively being waved around and how close it was, you could already tell who the concentration-culprit was.
“Kazuha, what am I looking at?” You ask aloofly, trying to move your head away so you could actually read the parchment. As you make your futile attempts, you catch a quick glimpse of the Japanese girl, seeing that she's made her way to sit on top of the picnic table instead of on the actual very much open seat with her long legs crossed as she beams at you.
“Can’t you read it?” Her voice was sweet and upbeat, as if the answer she was expecting was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Not when you have it literally 2 inches from my face and you won’t stop shaking.”
You can see Kazuha roll her eyes playfully as she pulls the parchment away, placing it on top of your notebook to allow a proper view of its contents. “It's a ball!” You hear Kazuha say excitedly as you skim over the information on the page, “The university’s hosting it as a sort of end of the year celebration. It's gonna be at this fancy castle place that rich white people used to hold masquerades and all that kind of stuff at back then.”
“No.” Your response was almost instantaneous, and you can immediately see Kazuha’s face turn into a frown and then a pout as she whines, leaning forward above your laptop screen, “Whaaaatt? Why not?”
You cross your arms and shrug, shifting your gaze over to the other students enjoying the weather as you speak, “Parties just aren’t my thing, Zuha. They’re loud and cramped, and more often than not I somehow always end up alone.” The way you spoke would’ve sounded quite pitiful if you weren't so firm with your words. What you said wasn’t some opportunity to gain pity from your friend, it was merely fact. Whenever you went to any sort of party or dance with your various groups of friends throughout the years, sooner or later they would break into their own little mini groups, and you were left floating amongst their conversations, left out. You simply didn’t want to relive that experience again with your current college friend group.
Kazuhas frown deepens as she closes your laptop, crawling closer to you from the top of the picnic table as she puts on her best puppy eyes, “come onnnn… Please? The girls already bought tickets, and it's almost our last year of uni! ” She begs, and you try your best to mask the smile that's threatening to form from the corner of her mouth as you repeat your answer, “no.”
She inches closer to you, grabbing you by the shoulders as she lightly shakes your body back and forth, as if that would help get her words from her mouth into your brain and into your heart. “It won't be the same without you!! Yunjin and Chaewon will likely end up hardcore drinking the whole night together, and Sakura is gonna be babysitting Eunchae the whole time!!! You’re the only person I’d genuinely want to spend all night with. I haven’t even bought my tickets yet because I’ll only go if you go!! ” You bite back laughter as she continues to whine, words spilling out of her mouth at rapid speed.
“It’ll be just like prom!”
“I didn’t go to prom.”
“Exactly!”
Hiding your grin was starting to become pretty difficult. Frankly, it felt nice to be wanted. Especially by Kazuha. She's always been so kind to you ever since freshman year, and has always tried her best to include you in social events with her friends. Even so, despite her quite literally saying she wants you there you still can't shake off the feeling that you’d end up alone just like always. You look back at Kazuha and see her desperately trying to win you over, her eyes almost sparkling with a cartoonish glint as she frowns… Still, you’d hate to be the reason why the other girl doesn’t go to an event she is so explicitly excited for.
Letting out a defeated sigh, you rub your temples as you give in, “Fine, I’ll go.”
You watch as Kazuha immediately lights up at your response, pulling you into an all too tight hug as she gleams, “Yes!!! You’re the best!”
“But! Only on one condition,” You pull yourself away from Kazuha and stick up your index finger in her face, forcing her back as she looks you in the eyes, nodding to indicate she was all ears. “You won’t leave me alone.”
The taller girl rolls her eyes as she scoffs, swatting your finger away dismissively as she speaks, “That was already part of the plan, silly. You wont leave my sight the entire night.” The gives your nose a light tap with her finger as your face scrunches up, not appreciating the gesture before shaking your head, beginning to shoo her off the table and onto her feet.
“Okay, okay. Now go away, I need to finish my work.” You allow yourself to smile fully this time, unable to truly keep up the cold and dismissive persona as she winks at you, “Meet me at my place on friday, we’re gonna go dress shopping!” You watch as she spins on her heel and merrily walks down the quad, chuckling at the sight before you return to your work.
…Did she turn off your homework program when closing your laptop?
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Soon enough, Friday had come and you swiftly made your way to the front of Kazuha’s apartment. You had decided to wear a simple white tank top and skirt paired with a bolero top to make changing a quick and efficient process. In all honesty, you were both a little bit excited for this experience but also dreading it for multiple reasons. On one hand, you really didn’t want to go to this ball. The idea of a majority of the university being put into a castle where you could easily get lost and lose sight of your friends was not an ideal situation. On the other hand though, Kazuha did promise you that you wouldn’t be alone this time. The idea of her having all of her attention on you throughout the night didnt sound all too bad…Plus, you did enjoy dressing up and feeling pretty. You sigh as you quickly send Kazuha a text.
Y/n [14:05] – Here.
Zuha [14:05] – come in ^w^ im still getting ready
You laugh a little to yourself at the text, Kazuha was always so punctual until it came to you. You didn’t take any offense to it though, you soon learned over the years that it was a sign that she felt comfortable to take her time with you.
You open the door and you’re greeted with a welcoming living room, ambient light illuminating the sight as you take it in. Kazuha most definitely pays a fortune in rent for this place, the walls lined with large bookcases and a generously sized couch pressed up against the wall. The interior of the apartment was various shades of gray and white, yet somehow still managed to exude a comforting warmth despite the cooler tone. There were blankets and pillows scattered charmingly on the couch and the bookshelves not only held actual books, but also little trinkets of all kinds, including rocks, figurines, and origami figures. The kitchen table had a bowl of fruit freshly put out, and you take notice of a pair of ballet shoes placed next to the door. There have been many nights spent here with the other girls before, whether it be movie nights or drinking, and you can appreciate Kazuha in keeping the space clean for your arrival.
You immediately make your way to the couch, the plush fabric giving into your weight as you get comfortable. A few minutes of aimless scrolling on your phone pass before Kazuha emerges from the nearby hallway, her long black hair ruffled in an intentional way as she wore a black tank top and jeans with a matching jean jacket that slightly slipped off her shoulders, exposing them. You find yourself staring a little longer than usual, taking in the sight before you. Of course, Kazuha was always beautiful— all of your friends were, but something about her outfit and hair and light makeup she put the effort into doing for a simple girls day out with you made your throat unexpectedly run dry.
In all honesty, ever since you first met Kazuha you have always thought she was incredibly attractive, and her kindness and bright personality that came out as you two got closer made her even more desirable; but the idea of ruining the first friend you made in college with a dumb crush immediately steered you away from making any moves beyond platonic. Most of the time you can forget that you even felt anything towards her in the first place, with schoolwork often taking up most of your brainspace— but not this time, apparently. You try to not let your eyes linger on her for too long before she speaks up.
“You ready?” She asks, snapping you out of your trance as she smiles, twirling her car keys along her index finger. You get up from your seat, clearing your mind from your previous intrusive thoughts as you nod, following her out of the apartment and into her car.
The ride to the boutique was enough to completely make you forget about whatever ideas you had before, the pair of you singing all kinds of songs as the world seems to pass you two by on the road. Kazuha had an impressive roster of j-pop music queued up for the ride, and you found yourself silently admiring her as she loudly sang the lyrics out the window as she drove, giving the sky a performance that could never be replicated.
You always seem to forget that the girl was practically born for the arts— from dancing to singing or just general charm, Kazuha was a perfect candidate to become a celebrity or the other. She was beyond good at what she did. It was only reasonable for her to pursue a performing arts major, and you were certain that after graduation you’d see her on the big screen, dancing and singing for the whole world to see. You could only hope that out of everyone in the world who would listen, she’d still find you. You try to follow along with her singing, but you don't know even a fraction of Japanese, and Kazuha can't help but laugh at your efforts. Smiling, you look out the window to try and hide your blush.
Once the two of you arrive at the boutique off campus, Kazuha was quick to drag you towards the wide variety of dresses lined up on the walls, “so… what kind of dress are you thinking?” She asks excitedly, already rummaging through dresses while constantly looking between you and the rack, “I think you should go for something that's gonna enunciate your curves, you got a hot bod.” The comment was so lighthearted and so painfully platonic, yet it still made your cheeks warm. You can’t be feeling these things right now. You dismissively wave your hand as you respond, “don't tease me, Zuha.. besides, aren't you supposed to be looking for dresses for yourself?”
The taller girl furrows her brows as she grabs your forearm, giving it a firm squeeze, “I’m being serious y/n, you’re crazy hot. Give yourself some more credit!” She shifts her attention back to the dresses and her eyes catch sight of a bundle of blue fabric, pulling it off the rack she shoves it into your arms and guides you to the dressing room, “try this on, I’m gonna find some more dresses for you!!”
You were left dumbfounded by Kazuhas words within the changing room for a moment before you pat your cheeks, forcing yourself to focus on the task at hand before trying on the dress. The way she spoke to you felt way too much like a girl talking to another one of her “girl friends” and it made your stomach churn, but you repressed the feelings as you slipped on the blue fabric. It took a bit of effort, but after fighting the tightness you were able to get the dress on. It definitely hugged your body well, being a bodycon style and all, but you felt like a ball at a castle calls for a more dramatic and elegant look.
You step out of the changing room, looking around for your friend as she quickly shuffles her way back, her face partially masked by the comically tall tower of clothing she carried within her hands. Her eyes scanned you from top to bottom, eyebrows raised as she takes in your appearance, smirking a little at how shy you become. “I… don't think this one is good for the ball, it kinda feels like I’m going to the bar?” You sheepishly comment, suddenly shrinking and trying to hide your body from your friend as she places the dresses on the bench nearby.
She places a finger on her chin and her other hand on her hip as her eyes glaze over you again, deep in thought as she nods. “Yeah, youre right… but you still look great, you should wear something like that for my birthday,” she smiled mischievously, but you could tell she was being serious with her words. You try to stop your heart from practically racing out of your chest as you quickly grab another dress from the pile, disappearing into the changing room as Kazuha giggles.
Soon enough, you and Kazuha are practically going through a real life movie montage, with you trying on every dress she suggests and her sitting down and giving you her opinions. You had tried on a flowy red dress that was off the shoulder, and the color was great but Kazuha wasn’t much of a fan of the shape. There was a champagne dress that was very princess-like, but was just simply too much. The layers and the itchiness and overload of glitter made you want to die. This continued on with just about every color and style of dress until the ravenette hands you a long white dress, throwing you a thumbs up and a wink as you disappear back into the changing room. Honestly this was all fun, but if this wasn't the piece for you after going through what felt like thousands before, you were just going to show up in a t-shirt and shorts.
As you slip on this dress, you notice the amount of detail put into it. It was an off the shoulder dress with a leg slit in which the fabric twists around your hips almost like if it were a flower. It hugged your body well, but it wasn't suffocating whatsoever, and the fabric was surprisingly comfortable with a shimmery sheen on top. It was beautiful, but you couldn't manage to zip up the back of the dress by yourself. You poke your head out and meet the gaze of Kazuha, waving your hand to beckon her over and into the room with you.
You couldn't help but notice the way her eyes widened when she saw you, and how they eased over every part of your body for just a little bit too long. You let out an uncomfortable yet soft cough and she snaps her attention back to you, “This.. This might be the dress!” She says, putting on a smile as you laugh at her response, “yeah? You think so?” And she nods, shooting you a comical double thumbs up as you continue, “I need help with the zipper, though. Do you mind?” You turn around and expose your bare back to the other girl.
You try to keep your gaze downwards as you feel her fingers trail down your back, all too scared to accidentally make eye contact with her while so vulnerable. Still, it seemed like the harder you tried to not do it, the more prompted you were to do so. Sparing a glance into the mirror it's nearly impossible to notice how Kazuha bites her lip, her fingers shaking as she zips up the dress for you, almost as if she was scared to touch you. You can feel her breath on the back of your neck and you shiver, realizing she's gotten closer. Her eyes dart up to meet yours within the reflection, and you’re left there frozen like a deer in the headlights. Her hands slowly trail down your sides and firmly land on your hips as she once again drinks in the sight of you, but this time, there's nowhere to go.
All of a sudden it became very very hard to think. For the first time, you see Kazuha’s eyes darken, and you cannot figure out what could possibly be going on in her mind. Hell, you can barely figure out what's going on in your own. She still hasn't broken eye contact with an unreadable poker face as she wraps her arms completely around your hips, pulling you closer and completely pressing your bodies together. You gasp at the sudden contact, feeling heat shoot through the entirety of your body, your ass pressed up against her core. What is she doing? What are you doing? You close your eyes, unable to look at the vulgar spectacle before you. She leans down and gently places her chin on your shoulder as she leans into the cook of your neck, and you feel the ghost of her lips hovering over the sensitive skin, waiting. The sensation causes the quietest whisper of a whimper to escape your lips.
And just like that, it was as if a switch flipped. “You look so pretty!~” she cooes, squeezing your body and rocking the both of you side to side in a playful (and very platonic) embrace as she grins, “You’re going to catch so many eyes at the ball. I’ll let you change and we’ll buy this dress then head out, yeah?” The words flow out so fast, Kazuha manages to slip out of the small changing room before you could even process what happened.
As soon as you hear the sound of her footsteps fading, you press you back up against the cold mirror, hand on your chest as you feel your heart threaten to give in. You squeeze your thighs together as you try to calm every nerve in your body that was working over time (it was all of them.)
Sweat forms on the top of your forehead as you shakily breathe out, “fuck…”
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
The next few days following the “dress incident” as you very originally named, went by painfully slow. Seeing as it was the end of the school year, you had already finished all of your finals and you were simply left sitting alone in your apartment trapped within your thoughts as the days passed. There isn't any more schoolwork to keep you distracted, but frankly, you dont think even all the assignments in the world could keep you from thinking about what happened in that dressing room. You haven't texted Kazuha since. How could you? What even was that? There had to be a logical explanation for… whatever that was, surely. You’ve known Kazuha for around three years now, and not once has she ever done anything to show you she may like you more than platonically.
The situation left you so distressed, you sought out solace in the form of your roommate, Sakura. You’re left restlessly pacing the living room, biting your nails as you retell the story, the older girl’s eyes following your every move. After seeing you do about 30 rounds around the coffee table, Sakura finally decides to speak up. “Y/n… you do know Kazuha has always treated you differently than the rest of us, right?”
Almost comically, your neck snaps towards your roommate as you dash over to her, grabbing her firmly by the shoulders as your eyes widen, staring her down with a stress driven craze, “what.”
Sakura immediately raises her hands in defense, dropping her phone as she is practically pinned against the couch by your unexpected strength. “I-I’m just saying..! Kazuha has always been a pretty shy and reserved person. I mean, she can hold conversations well with just about anyone just fine. But with you? I've never seen her so outwardly affectionate to anyone. She's always touching you and being… silly? I don't know. At least with me, she’s upbeat sure, but she's usually so much quieter, never latching onto my arm, whining, or always trying to get my attention in any way… I'm sure it's the same for the others too…”
As the older girl’s words trail off, your grip on her loosens, and you can see her sigh in relief as you collapse on the couch next to her, lost in thought. Did Kazuha really treat you differently? “But I thought she was just, I don't know, treating me like one of her girl friends? Gal pals or whatever?”
Sakura simply shrugs at this response, “Maybe to her, you’re more than that.”
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
You sit in the passenger seat of Sakura’s car as you wait in front of Eunchae’s dorm building. Alongside the dress from the store, your hair was tied up into a low bun held in place with a white floral hair stick and accented with a gold arm cuff and necklace that crawled up your body nicely. Sakura had a light pink mermaid style dress on with pearl accents, and you can catch a glance of Eunchae waddling her way over, her hair in an adorable high ponytail to match with her puffy blue dress.
You exchange pleasantries with the younger girl before turning your attention to your phone, nervously nibbling on the pad of your thumb as you quickly send a text to the girl whos been driving you crazy.
Y/n [19:56] – Kkura, Eunchae, and I will be there in five.
Zuha [19:56] – yay!! can't wait to see you in that pretty dress <33
You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling the blush rush to your face.
Y/n [19:57] – What dress are you wearing btw? I didn't see you buy one at the boutique.
Zuha [19:58] – its a surprise~~ (^з^)-☆
“Who are you texting??” Eunchae’s voice rings out, and you immediately shut off your phone in a mild panic as she leans over your shoulder, frowning at the black screen before her.
“Just letting Zuha know we’re on our way– and put your seatbelt on.” You realize how much you sound like a mother in that moment, and it shows on your face, cringing at yourself as Eunchae snickers, returning to her seat as you make your way to the castle.
To describe the venue as grand was an understatement. Your eyes are met with towering spires that stretch dramatically into the sky. The castle was constructed entirely of stone, its walls weathered from the centuries of its existence, dark green ivy leaves crawling up its exterior, giving the fortress a sense of timelessness and majesty. “Wooaaah!! This looks even prettier than the pictures!! They must’ve paid a fortune for this place,” Eunchae’s upbeat cheer interrupts the serene experience as you and Sakura look at each other, laughing as you guide the younger girl down the cobblestone path and toward the crowd.
It felt like all of the university was here at the castle, the courtyard becoming a hive of activity as people shuffled their way in and out through the main doors and from the main hall. The dimly lit grandeur of the hallway before you left you awestruck, casting long shadows that helped illuminate the faces of the individuals passing you by. You spot Kazuha almost too quickly within the crowd, her hair placed elegantly along her bare shoulders as you finally get a look at the dress she picked out for this occasion. She chose the color black for her dress, almost as if to intentionally match your own. The dress was strapless, showcasing her shoulders with a sweetheart neckline that had a hypnotic type of allure to it. The top was fitted, hugging her body and torso to excellently showcase her slim figure before flowing out into a multi layered floor-level skirt. Alongside this, she wears a pair of long black gloves and a pearl necklace that enhances Kazuha’s beauty tenfold, her aura emitting a sense of timelessness and grace. She looked beyond gorgeous, like a black swan. You feel your ears grow hot and your stomach do flips as Sakura gives you a reassuring squeeze on your hand, smiling softly as she guides you and Eunchae towards the group.
Yunjin and Chaewon hold Kazuha in conversation, and you can see a small smile form on her lips as she listens to the duo intently. As the three of you approach, you lock eyes with Yunjin, who grins at your arrival, playfully moving past Kazuha and Chaewon as she wraps her arms around your neck, pulling you into a warm embrace. “y/n!! You made it!!” You get a whiff of her perfume and are immediately hit with a woody scent with a mix of citrus, which you think is fitting with her short green dress and bright orange hair. You laugh into the hug, giving her a light squeeze before looking over at Kazuha.
You swear you see her eyebrow twitch for a millisecond before Yunjin glances at the other girl. Giggling, she leans in and whispers into your ear, “She’s been talking about you all night, by the way.”
Cheeks now embarrassingly flushed, Yunjin pulls away, and you can see Kazuha glaring daggers into the back of Yunjins head as Chaewon sighs, pulling her partner away from you and linking their arms together. The bob-haired girl wore a blood red maxi dress, with matching stiletto heels to boot. She had an authoritative energy to her tonight, and if she wasn’t your friend, you think you would’ve been a little intimidated. “Let the girl breathe, Jen.”
You sheepishly smile as Yunjin sticks her tongue out at the shorter girl, beckoning for Sakura and Eunchae to join as they chatter amongst themselves, leaving you and Kazuha off to the side. After exploding Yunjin with her mind, Kazuha’s gaze softens as she walks up to you, her breath hitching as she opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. You giggle at the sight as she grabs your hands with her gloved ones, looking you in the eyes as she speaks, “you look stunning tonight, y/n,” and the words held a completely different meaning this time. She’s complimented you before– countless times really, but they held a different weight now. It was different now that you could feel an unseen electricity between you two. It was different now because of what she did (or didn't do) to you in the changing room that day.
Blushing, you squeeze her hands, “You look beautiful as well, Kazuha.” Your words were breathless and shy, and you think about how embarrassing it is to say that she quite literally took your breath away with her look tonight. You’re not too sure how long you and Kazuha stood there in the middle of the hall, simply staring at each other as the world seemed to no longer exist around you, but the sound of a cough brings the both of you back down to reality.
“Wanna go to the dance floor? They also have food and drinks,” Chaewon suggests, already leading the group as you can now clearly see how flushed Kazuha’s cheeks are, and you melt at the sight, intertwining your fingers with hers as you follow the group onwards.
The rest of the night was spent dancing and enjoying your time off with your friends. Eunchae was socializing with just about any person who crossed paths with her, Sakura having to hold her back to ensure she didn't get lost. As expected, Yunjin and Chaewon had actually already pregamed the event, but still had more alcohol hidden within their dresses. They offered you a shot, but you declined (much to Yunjins dismay.)
Despite Kazuha being rather introverted and soft spoken most of the time, she definitely had more friends than you realized. Almost every five minutes she would be approached by some group of girls or a lone guy and she’d end up in a conversation that would leave you off to the side. Despite this, Kazuha was an expert at staying true to her word. She always held your hand within hers, sparing glances back at you and playing with your fingers while socializing, almost as if silently saying, “I’m still with you.”
The gesture was sweet, and you really did appreciate it all. But as the night wagered on, you couldn't help but feel that familiar prickling feeling creeping up on you once again. The amount of people brushing up against you made your skin crawl, and the music seemed to be all consuming and suffocating despite the large size of the room you were in. Even holding onto Kazuha's hand was beginning to feel like too much. You frown.
You watch as Kazuha chats with a girl you recognize as Danielle, and you tug a little bit on her arm, catching the taller girl’s attention as she leans over to you, offering an ear as Danielle continues to ramble on. “I think I’m going to get some air!” You try to speak over the music, and it takes a moment for the words to register in her mind, “Do you want me to come with you?” She asks, her eyes caring as she looks into yours, and you want to say “yes, always,” but the rhythm from above begins to shift, and you watch as Danielle’s eyes light up as she grabs hold of Kazhua.
“Oh my god. I love this song, we HAVE to dance, come on!!”
Soon enough your hands break away from one another, and you try to give a reassuring smile to Kazuha who tried to make her way back to you, but ended up getting swept away by Danielle into the sea of people rotating to the dance floor. The smile on your lips drops as soon as she is no longer in sight, and you take a moment to look around. The other girls were nowhere in sight, and there were only strangers surrounding you as you awkwardly mumbled half hearted apologies, desperate to be anywhere but here.
After running through what felt like endless hallways, you burst through a set of wooden doors. Your face is hit with a cool breeze and you finally feel like you can breathe.
You sigh and rub your head, taking in the cold night air as you try to calm yourself down. How ironic. You were so insistent on not being left alone on this night, and when you get what you want, you choose to return to the familiar feeling of solidarity.
Taking in your surroundings, you realize you have ended up on an unused balcony, the stone flooring facing out into the forest beyond. The faint flickering of fireflies emerge from the darkness, and you take a moment to simply just take it all in— to ground yourself. The muffled booming of music from inside lingers, and you close your eyes, leaning over the balcony in contentment.
“Y’know, I don’t think we’re allowed here.”
Kazuha’s warm voice rings out, and you twirl around, finding the taller girl smiling at you softly. She joins your side, staring off into the forest before looking back at you. “Are you okay?”
You hum in response, nodding as you breathe out, eyes focused on the fireflies ahead. “yeah, it was just getting really overwhelming in there…”
Kazuha stays silent, also staring off as a comfortable silence drapes over you two. You can't help but let your mind linger again to the changing room instance, and you look back at the ravenette. She seemed completely unphased by the situation, and you start to wonder if it even happened at all. You open your mouth, wanting to ask what exactly you two were, but the sound of the music inside slowing down catches Kazuha’s attention.
Her ears perk at the tune, and she shifts her gaze back to you, offering her gloved hand just like she did at the very start of this night. “May I have this dance?”
The question catches you completely off guard, and you can't help but laugh, all tension within your mind and body letting loose. “What?? Right now?”
Kazuha gives a gummy smile, “yes. I’d like to dance with you. Right here, right now.”
Your laughter continues and rings out into the night, it’s a wonderful feeling. “Zuha, you know I can't dance,” you chuckle, and despite this truth, you still allow her to take your hand in hers.
“Then just follow my lead.”
You’re pulled into her body, and its a softer experience than before. She guides your free hand onto her shoulder before she places hers on the small of your back. You ease into her touch as she leads the way, taking the first steps and guiding your body to follow. It was clumsy and messy at first, with several instances of you stumbling on your feet and needing Kazuha to keep you up, but it didn't matter at all.
How could it? How could anything else matter in the world right now when the moonlight above framed her face so perfectly? When the shine of the fireflies are dull compared to the woman before you right now?
The both of you laugh as she twirls you in sync with the muffled tune of the song, and you can't help but let out a surprised yelp as she dips you, your hair flying back as you are given a clear sight of the canvas of stars just above the two of you. It was stunning, romantic, even. Kazuha lifts you back up, and suddenly your lips are centimeters apart. You feel her hot breath against your lips, and you suddenly feel like you’ve been transported back to that cramped room.
You feel Kazuha hesitate, before she asks, in barely a whisper, “C-Can I…?”
You would have laughed at the question, the words being so upfront yet so scared coming out of her lips if you didn't so desperately want it as well.
“Please.”
Kazuhas lips immediately press against yours, and it's sweet. It's intentional and tender, full of pent up emotions that threaten to overflow, but the need in the way she tightens her grip on you is strong. She's waited so long for this, and she wants to enjoy it all, but she's holding back, scared that you'll slip away again. Her lips taste like cherries, and it's a wonderful flavor. A flavor you’ve waited three years to taste. You find yourself licking your own lips as you pull away, your arms wrapped around her neck as your faces remain close.
“Is this what you wanted to do when you cornered me back at the boutique?” You whisper, your lips teasingly hovering over Kazuha’s, pulling back when she tries to meet them. You smile mischievously as you see her grow impatient.
“Something like that.”
She's suddenly latched onto you again, lips pressing against yours with more pressure as you gasp, your hand instinctively flying to her hair as you dig your nails into her scalp. A sound you’d never expect to ever come out of such a quiet girl erupts from Kazuha’s throat.
A growl.
You feel that all too familiar heat shoot throughout your body once again as the taller girl pushes you against the stone railiing, her lips trailing down your jawline and onto your neck. Her teeth graze the skin and you cant help but let out a moan, your voice egging her on even more as she begins to mark your neck.
You really should stop her. You’re still out in public, and there was no way you would be able to cover any hickeys she may leave on you with a dress that was very much made to remain off your shoulders. But when she presses her knee in between your legs through your dress and her hands find their way to your chest, who are you to stop her?
Kazuha was nowhere near finished with you.
#gg fanfic#kpop#kpop fanfic#kpop x female reader#wlw#kpop gg#kpop girls#kpop x reader#nakamura kazuha#nakamura kazuha x reader#kazuha x reader#kazuha x f reader#nakamura kazuha x fem reader#gxg#gxg smut#smut#lesserafim x reader#lesserafim x fem reader#lesserafim smut#nakamura kazuha smut#Spotify#le sserafim x reader
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Valorant Protocol as Highschool Stereotypes
Characters: Chamber, Gekko, Iso, Jett, Killjoy, Neon, Phoenix, Raze, Sage, Skye, Viper, Yoru Type: Headcanons
HAHA help me valorant brainrot >.< also this is based off of my hs experience soooo yeah
Warnings: none
Chamber
your typical pretty boy
all the girls love him all the boys hate him
well...most of the girls love him
they follow him around to classes or offer him gifts or ask to sit with him at lunch etc.
and he eats up the attention every time
he's lab partners with Viper in Environmental Sciences and he likes trying to flirt with her
she actually hates him btw
Gekko
canonically he skateboards
but honestly? I can see him being on the dance team
he's so high energy, he needs some sort of outlet
he never misses an opportunity to show off his dance moves
homecoming? prom? he is the center of the dance circle
like Raze, he doesn't know how popular he is
he's just happy to have so many good friends that it doesn't even actually occur to him that he's considered "popular"
Iso
he's an ap art kid
like he walks around with a big ass sketchbook every day
always talking about his portfolio
Iso baby ily but please shut the fuck up about oil paints <3
he probably volunteered part of his summer break to come in and paint a mural for the school
I think he'd also take a piano class as like a schedule filler but he actually gets crazy good at it
Jett
pe tryhard
if you end up on the opposite team as her while playing dodge ball good luck 😓
she's always picked as team captain because literally no one else is excited as she is
she's sorta like Hairo from Saiki K 💀
she gets a lil mad when her teammates don't try
Killjoy
she's in robotics club
she's not very popular but that doesn't bother her at all
she heads straight to and from every class and spends her lunch period in the workshop unless Raze drags her off somewhere
not a lot of people actually know who she is, and if they do they just know her as 'Raze's Friend'
i think she'd remind the teacher about the homework and hit you with the "erm actually 🤓" tbh
Neon
she's on track and field/cross country
after every meet you can find her laying on the floor somewhere ready to puke bc she tries so hard to win 😭
she always ends up top 5 tho
she complains about practice but joins the team every year anyways
she carries her bag around all the time and if you open it there's like 10 water bottles in there
#hydratedqueen
Phoenix
theater kid DUHH
he's probably drama club president or sumn
bro will NOT let go of a specific song from a musical he was in his freshman year and it wasn't even his song 💀
he's been in every show every year and somehow he manages to land every role he wants
he's insanely good at the game 'bang' (mostly because he's louder than everyone else...)
he probably plans/hosts the cast parties too
Raze
she doesn't care much about her grades
she does the bare minimum and gets straight Cs
she's just here to have fun
everyone likes her because of her approachable personality
she doesn't think she's popular but she is
Sage
she's in the medical assistant class
she takes it very seriously, as she plans on going to medical school
even before taking the class she carries a first aid kit and other essentials everywhere she goes
you need a bandaid? ibuprofen? a pad or tampon? she has it all
she's also ASB president
school events literally would not be able to run without her
lets just say her college applications/resume will look REALLY good...
Skye
she also took medical assistant but was less crazy about it than Sage
she just follows her friend's lead
she thinks the skills are useful but she doesn't see herself making it her career
but also I think she would play volleyball
she's a well rounded player but specializes most in defense
still, don't underestimate her bc this girl can SPIKE
Viper
she took every ap science class offered without taking the general ones first
she complains about getting any grade below an A...
"What are you talking about? That test was easy"
sorry not everyone is as smart as you Sabine 😑
she spends all her free time at chem tutoring (even though she doesn't need it)
Yoru
he thinks he looks cool and mysterious when he walks down the halls but he doesn't
everyone just thinks his mad all the time and stay out of his way 😭
randos try to pick fights with him bc he "looked at them wrong" (Yoru wins every time)
he's not exactly a 'quiet kid' but he does lay low when it comes to the social part of school
despite his 'bad boy' look, he has pretty good grades
he's also probably one of those guys that a handful of girls have a crush on but he has no idea
#viper valorant#valorant viper#valorant x reader#valorant sage#valorant#valorant skye#valorant iso x reader#valorant iso#iso x reader#iso x you#iso valorant#valorant yoru#yoru valorant#yoru x reader#valorant phoenix#phoenix valorant#phoenix x reader#valorant jett#jett#jett valorant#jett x reader#valorant raze#raze valorant#raze x reader#valorant killjoy#killjoy valorant#valorant neon#neon valorant#neon x reader#valorant gekko
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Landslide
Summary: Melissa's doing a lot of self-reflection while she ponders about what the future might hold for the two of you.
Feel free to listen to my cover of the song too!
WC: 1.95k
Melissa Schemmenti has been through a lot- there’s no two ways about that statement. She’s had plenty of rough seasons, and they’ve shaped who she is today. And then you came crashing into her life the day that you quite literally tripped and fell walking into her during the first day of development at Abbott your first year. Your mere existence threw her into an existential crisis, and that was before the two of you started dating. And now? She’s contemplating asking you to marry her (how you managed to get her to rethink her entire outlook on life, love, and marriage without your realizing it is beyond her). With this revelation of hers that she might want to get married again, she’s doing a lot of reflection of the course of her life.
I took my love, I took it down. I climbed a mountain and I turned around. And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills, til the landslide brought me down.
She used to wear her heart on her sleeve. That’s actually how she fell in love with Joe. It was a typical school girl crush in the eighties when she met him in an entry level writing course during college that everybody was required to take in order to graduate. They fell in what she thought was love and got married far quicker than she had ever expected herself to do. She had climbed that mountain, and she almost made it to the top. But then, their marriage had turned into the situation that she had promised herself she would never be in. She turned around, and as she began her trek down, she saw her reflection in what was now a snow covered hill. She saw the way that this experience changed her, and she knew that she would never be the same again- not after what Joe had done. And then the landslide brought her down, and she had fallen from what felt like the highest peak, and she found herself in one of the lowest valleys.
Oh, mirror in the sky: what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Building herself back up to be as much of the Melissa Schemmenti that she knew and missed was a process, and the redhead knew that it was always going to a little different than it once was.
Melissa found herself looking up at the sky quite often, feeling a sense of serenity when the sun in the sky shone on her face or when the droplets of water that fell from the clouds trailed down her face and she couldn’t quite tell what was rain and what was tears. It was freeing and made her feel as though everything might just be okay.
The redheaded woman was looking up at the sky on a rather cloudy and dismal day as she wandered through the city aimlessly when she finally decided to ask herself what love really is.
Melissa came to the realization that day that she had no idea what love was. Her mother and father certainly didn’t have the love story everyone yearned for- no, they ended up divorced by the time the redhead was ten. She remembers hearing their fights, the cursing and tears, while she lay in bed trying to fall asleep. A part of her had died in those years, and she truly wondered in that moment if the inner child within her heart could ever rise above and find love- true, real, and natural love that wasn’t forced or expected of her.
The woman walked through the city without a destination, wondering if she could handle the changing ocean tide of being in a marriage to being single again. Could she handle the different seasons of her life that were yet to come? She supposed she made it this far, so she can’t give up now- if anything to spite whatever God was trying to make her life a living hell.
Well I’ve been afraid of changing, cause I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, even children get older. And I’m getting older too.
That night, Melissa went back to the small apartment in the middle of Center City Philadelphia that she couldn’t quite yet call a home. She stood out on her balcony, eyes focused down on the streets below her. Somewhere, Joe was roaming those streets looking for his next booty call. And in that moment, she realizes that she needs to change her ways- it’s been two months that she’s been moping around since the divorce was filed.
But she was terrified of change. She had built this whole life around Joe and his friends and family, and she lost it all in an instance when she caught him in their bed with another woman.
With time, Melissa’s heart healed and mended itself- the only true remedy for heartache and heartbreak. And in that time, she grew to love where she worked at Abbott Elementary. She grew bigger and bolder, back into the woman that didn’t put up with shit and marched to the beat of her own drum.
Years passed, and the redhead found herself watching her first class graduate from Abbott. Only then did she realize that even children grow and get older- onto their new chapter, and then in a few short years she would find herself at their high school graduations cheering and clapping for them among their families.
But Melissa Schemmenti was like family to some of those kids- like a second mother, or even a first mother in certain cases. And she would continue to be there for them.
Only after she enters the door to her townhouse that at least somewhat feels like a home to her now does the second grade teacher realize that she too is getting older.
And then you came around. You started working at Abbott when Melissa was finally settled into her own being and she was happy with where she was in life. And you came and shook that all up in your flowery sundresses and bright smile. You turned her world upside down with your infectious positivity and sunny disposition. The redhead who wore mostly muted colors with her pleather pants and leather jacket started to wear brighter colors again, because you unintentionally made her see the world like she was living in technicolor.
And after a few months of you working there, the two of you began to see each other romantically. You brought out parts of the hardheaded second grade teacher that she thought she would never see again, yet she was still Melissa. She was still the woman who knew a guy and wasn’t afraid to back down from a bare knuckle fist fight or to bring out her bat to destroy someone’s car who wronged her. You found yourself loving that. You also found yourself loving the way that Melissa would turn soft for you in an instant if you needed it. You knew she was the woman of your dreams, and the redhead felt that too oddly enough.
And so, here she is in her classroom as she waits for you to finish up a meeting with Malik’s parents and doing some self-reflection again as she wonders if maybe you are the miracle that she’s been waiting for her entire life- if you are the one true, real, natural love that she’s been looking for. If you’re the one that she’s going to throw caution to the wind for and get married to.
Well I’ve been afraid of changing, cause I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, even children get older. And I’m getting older too.
She’s been afraid of change her entire life. Melissa Schemmenti thrives off of routine and the things that she knows to be true in the world. But you came and shook everything up, and she’s built her new life around you now. Is she willing to change everything if a second marriage of hers goes south again?
But… time has made her bolder. Time has shown the redhead that no matter what happens, she’s resilient- she’ll make it through. And genuinely, she isn’t so sure that she would hate the change of being married again, as long as it was to you.
Time passes around her slowly as she looks around her classroom and realizes just how much has truly changed since she started teaching you and even just in the past few years that you’ve been in her life.
The kids that she started out with are onto the real world, they’ve grown up. They’re off creating their lives, creating families and raising beautiful children that are now wandering through the halls of Abbott themselves.
The practice of teaching has changed and evolved as Melissa’s been here, and while she’s always been afraid of change, the redhead realizes that she’s always been changing and growing to fit the standards of the time in order to give her students the best education she can.
And you? You’ve brought a new sense of life and passion into her world… she’s getting older, she’s aware of this. Maybe you’re worth the potential landslide that could take her out again. She doubts you will- you’re nothing like her ex-husband in the slightest. And that gives her hope. The lingering fears though stay with her, because much like you’ve shaped her, so have her past experiences.
Oh, take my love, take it down. Oh, climb a mountain and you turn around. And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills, well the landslide brought me down. And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills, well the landslide bring it down.
Melissa’s worn her heart on her sleeve when it comes to you. And so far, she hasn’t had to take it down. You’ve both climbed the mountain, but neither of you have turned around. She saw her reflection as she climbed up, and she’ll be quite frank: she still glances down at the snow-covered hills occasionally when a moment of self-doubt and self-worth takes over. But she doesn’t think that the landslide will ever bring the two of you down.
And so, she opens her phone and pulls up the number of one of her guys.
“Jack? I think I need a ring,” she says into the phone lowly, praying to God you aren’t coming around the corner.
“For?”
“I think I found the future Mrs. Schemmenti,” Melissa reveals with a soft smile on her face. “I’m done letting the landslide bring me down.”
“Meet me tomorrow after work, and I’ll have a few things picked out for you.”
She hangs up the phone with a smile.
You walk into her classroom a few moments later, bags slung over your shoulder.
“Hey, babe,” you sigh. “You ready to go home? I’m beat, and I need some relaxation and Desperate Housewives.”
Melissa chuckles softly as she stands from her desk chair and grabs her own bag. She stretches to peck your cheek before taking your left hand in her own. Subconsciously, she rubs her thumb on your ring finger as she thinks about the meeting that she has tomorrow with her guy.
Melissa Schemmenti has always been afraid of change… always wanted to heal that inner child of hers that used to look up into the night sky and wonder what love was. And here she was, changing for you and knowing what love truly felt like.
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* Dandelion - finally hearing the other person laugh after a period of hardship
Why am I always in the mood for hurt/comfort??? Does this say something about me??
hello my sweet apple pie !!!! this is far more comfort than hurt and i hope that's okay :))))))) it's all fluff LOL flower prompts
“You look nice,” he hears himself say. She does. Very nice, in fact. The sight of her is very tempting, actually, the polyester purple blanket that he’d had since college draped over her lap. She smiles at him lazily, eyes all warm and fond and there’s something just so sweet about it.
Strictly, Carmen does not have to work tonight.
He knows this. When he’d met her, Carmen knew that he wouldn’t really be able to resist the siren song of her company for very long. He can still remember the moment they met, dim lighting at house music at a friend’s party. How odd is it, that he even ended up at something like that? She was all warm disposition and lovely eyes, joy written all over her like she couldn’t be bothered to hide it. He doesn’t even remember what he said that was funny, but he does remember how she tipped her head back, joy overflowing till she couldn’t hold it back, and he saw her lovely neck. The pride of making her laugh like that. He wants to feel that way all the time.
So, yeah. He couldn’t really avoid seeing her.
He has a headache. He knows he’s not good company. Somehow, she’s not the kind of thing he can deny himself even when faced with how much he does not deserve it.
He tries to makeup for being in a relationship while doing this restaurant thing, tries not to repeat past mistakes. He tries to be up earlier, do his prep work on time, tries not to get behind. He’s actually pretty good at it, and somehow- it’s a Saturday night, and he’s ahead of schedule. He could theoretically stay in with his girl tonight.
His girl. He’s not sure he’s allowed yet, still tentative about scaring her away.
Her makeup is a bit faded and her hair is in a clip. He tries not to think of the image of her rummaging around his drawers, nimble fingers quick and lovely, finding the clip he kept just for her in his bedside drawer, along with a few other things she might need.
“Thank you,” she replies, looking up at him with the sweetest smile he thinks he’s ever seen, “You look nice too.” She outstretches her arms, hoping for an embrace and- fuck it.
It’s a little awkward, the positioning but god, she smells like the lavender perfume he and Sugar picked out for her, and he can’t stop thinking about it. You like nice too, she had said. A little ridiculous. He’s pretty sure he’s got anchovy juice on his shirt and smells like literal ass and he hadn’t had time to change before he got home, so really, he’s quite sure he’s not the most pleasant sensory experience.
And yet, she rakes her hands through his unkempt hair, graces him with a lazy, pleasant smile.
“How are you doing, Carmy?”
Her tone is warm, like milk and honey. He could drown in it, he thinks, spend years trying to pin down all of the melodic qualities of the ways she chooses to keep him company.
He ponders the question.
She looks so stunning, warm and pliant in his arms and god, it loosens the knot in his chest a little. This week has been fucking awful, none of his recipes tasting in the real world how he pictures in his mind, nightmares ever-present in his sleep, only eased by the mornings where he wakes with her pressed against his chest. He’s so grateful for the sight her, drinking her in like a man starved.
He takes her hand, gazing at it with reverence before pressing his chapped lips onto her delicate fingers.
“I’m better,” he manages to rasp out, blue eyes trained on her lovely face, “I think I’m doing much better.”
#carmen berzatto#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto fluff#carmy berzatto fluff#carmen berzatto fic#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy x reader#carmen berzatto x You#carmy berzatto imagine#carmen berzatto imagine#the bear#the bear x reader
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"Quick Reaction" || kang yeosang || one-shot
| genre: non!idol ateez. fluff. slice of life | mentions: teasing. fainting. jewelry gift. | This is literally my high school delusions. My old school is literally an 'old school' school like no phones and computers, being in a relationship is not allowed, and big ass windows as our source of fans--- i mean we do have electric fans and ceiling fans but with the weather and a very old, close to dying, e-fans? We really have to depend on the wind from our windows. Anyways, this list is basically a true experience. My personal favorite? Song Mingi's.
You were bored out of your mind, wishing you could have brought your book or your drawing pad to pass time, although everything seemed to be going smoothly—until your professor called you to the faculty room. "You're missing an assignment," she said, a hint of amusement in her voice as she added, "and so is your classmate, Kang Yeosang."
Anything but that. You cried, stomping your foot to the ground out of frustration. You sighed internally, mentally retracing your steps to figure out which assignment had slipped through the cracks. As you walked to the faculty room, carrying your notebook and pen, you bumped into Yeosang, who had the same expression of concern on his face. You both exchanged knowing glances, resigned to your fate.
“You lost your assignment?” Yeosang asks. You shake your head, “I’m not sure either but I know I wrote it and had a perfect score. What about you?”
Yeosang shrugs, “I guess I was cutting class when it was given.” Both of you giggling knowing that is farfetched. He never does and never will, most especially his mom is your math adviser. Besides, there are guards blocking the two entrances of your school gates, so there is no point in cutting class unless you decide to fake ‘sickness’ to not attend school.
Standing outside the faculty room, you could hear your professor bustling about. "Alright, since you two are here, I’ll dictate the assignment instead, but since students aren’t allowed inside, I’ll give you the answers too. Be quick, though—it needs to be passed immediately and the head will not be happy to have students inside."
You pouted, “We could just work inside the classroom.”
“Oh … you’re right. You may go but I hope to get this one before dismissal and ask one of your classmates to dictate some of the homeworks you both are missing.”
And that’s how you found yourself inside your classroom. Yeosang stays at the other but you both agree to stay at your classroom instead. You pulled out your notebook, your pen poised to capture every word. Years of training as a news anchor for your upcoming college years had honed your ability to take notes swiftly and efficiently. Yeosang, however, wasn’t faring as well. As your classmate, Hongjoong rattled off the questions and answers, you noticed him out of the corner of your eye, struggling to keep up. His eyes darted from his notebook to yours, then back again, frustration clear on his face.
"Hey, hey, what’s this..." he whispered urgently, tapping you on the shoulder to grab your attention, leaning over your shoulder. It wasn’t until you leaned back to check on him that both of you realized how close you were. Your faces stopped just inches apart, your breath brushing against his lips. Yeosang froze, his gaze trailing over your features, taking in every detail. His heart pounded in his chest as he noticed every imperfection—each one making him feel something unfamiliar yet undeniably warm.
"Hey, if you two are gonna kiss, let me turn around first!" Hongjoong teased, breaking the moment.
Startled, you both pulled away, cheeks burning with embarrassment. You quickly handed your notebook to Yeosang, avoiding eye contact as you nervously fiddled with your pen. Meanwhile, he hid his face behind your notebook, furiously scribbling down the remaining answers, trying to ignore the heat still lingering on his cheeks.
As both of you finished the assignment, he took your notebook and he handed the assignment to Hongjoong who insisted on bringing them to your professor since he will be passing by the faculty room and towards the auditorium. After thanking Hongjoong, Yeosang glanced at you, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips. You met his gaze for a brief moment, sharing a silent understanding, before both of you looked away, the air between you filled with unspoken words and the beginnings of something new.
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