#literally my close friend and i made so many dark depressing and or gay short films its wild

[800-dick-pics]

found my old highschool usb with allllllllll my photos/photography and videos/films and im like

wow we really made the gayest and most emo ass shit didnt we!!! i was damn emo and gay!

[spurgie-cousin]

WHW Royals Edition 👑 Part 1: Anne, Queen of Great Britain

Born: February 6th, 1665 at St James's Palace, Westminster, Middlesex, England Died: August 1st, 1714 (age 49) at Kensington Palace, Middlesex Reign: March 8th, 1702 - August 1st, 1714

I thought I’d give you guys a little intro to Anne, Queen of Great Britain as a start for my series on weirdo royals. I got big into her after seeing the Yorgos Lanthimos film The Favourite (can’t recommend enough) and that resulted in endless hours of internet wormholes about her bizarre and interesting life. I’ve read about a lot of fucked up royals in my life (truly there’s many) but it was only when I was reading about Anne that I kind of had an ‘a-ha’ moment about how really drastically the monarchial system can fuck a person up. 

Queen Anne fits this bill for me for a lot of reason; she was a surprise Queen who was woefully underprepared for ruling, which led to people pushing their political agendas on her under the guise of genuine affection. It’s hard to know if the relationships that define her legacy and life in popular culture were genuine, or if they would’ve existed at all had she not been a royal. Her legacy is muddied by the traditional, patriarchal writers of history of course and it sometimes is hard to get a clear picture of who she really was, but here are a few tidbits about her life and rule:

Anne’s signature

1. Queen Anne was born Anne Stuart, daughter of James II and Anne Hyde and raised in the traditional way for aristocratic girls, with an education that emphasized on arts, language, and music. This eventually proved to suck dick for her big time later on in life when she became queen. Traditionally, girls were purposefully taught nothing useful about politics or history because it was assumed they would never rule (cough) and this left Anne very much lacking in the political discourse department as a monarch; all of her future speeches and even remarks made around political figures would have to be scripted by advisors. If she found herself off script and not knowing what to say, it’s said that she’d sometimes “move only her lips and make as if she said something when in truth no words were uttered.”

2. 8 year old Anne first met friend Sarah Jennings (Churchill) when she was a lady in waiting at just 5 years old. As you’ll see later on, Sarah goes on to be one of the (if not the most) influential person in the Queen’s life, becoming a trusted friend and political advisor.

3. Anne was what we would probably refer to today as a ‘hot mess express’. The poor gal had a myriad of health issues, both mentally and physically, all of which only got worse as she aged. She suffered from gout and an undefined auto-immune disorder (we think) as well as a bizarre eye-watering disorder and poor vision. It’s also pretty evident that she didn’t have the best relationship with alcohol or food and most likely developed a binge eating disorder later in her life (she was very large at the time of her death and there are a few accounts of her eating to the point of puking in front of other people).

4. Besides her relationships with Sarah and Abigail Masham, Queen Anne is also known mostly known for the tragic loss of her 17 pregnancies. Of all her births she had only 5 live babies, only one of which survived beyond infancy. Her son William was also afflicted with various illnesses all of his life and died at the age of 11.

Prince William, Anne’s longest surviving child

5. Anne became queen by accident, after her Catholic father was ousted as king by her protestant brother in-law. He and her sister ruled for a short time before dying of pneumonia and smallpox respectively with no heir in place, so Anne, who supported the protestant reformation, was crowned Queen.

6. Over the years Anne and Sarah Churchill became extremely close friends, and most accounts agree that Sarah had an incredible amount of influence over Anne’s political decisions. Sarah is said to have had a more natural affinity for politics, and to have had a completely opposite disposition than Anne. Some think that Sarah may have maintained the relationship only to keep her political control.

7. A lot of people that believe that Anne and Sarah were so close because they were lovers. The pair at one time wrote each other 4 letters a day, that included things like “I had rather live in a cottage with you than reign empress of the world without you,” “Oh come to me as soon as you can that I may cleave myself to you,” one of Queen Anne’s “I can’t go to bed without seeing you… If you knew in what condition you have made me, I am sure you would pity.” I don’t think I necessarily share that opinion, for reasons you’ll see below.

8. Sarah was the only person under Anne that was allowed to speak to her without using a title. The two often used their nicknames for each other: Mrs. Morley (Anne) and Mrs. Freeman (Sarah).

Sarah Churchill, 1702

9. A lot of scholars disagree with the notion that Anne had any gay affairs with anyone, including Sarah, for a few reasons; first because, at the time, it was just apparently normal to act hella gay with your friends, particularly for royals, so excessive touching or writing wouldn’t have raised any alarms. Most historians attribute this to the extreme separation of the sexes, particularly in upper class households. Most people spent 90% of their time exclusively with people of their own gender, so it was a means to have your emotional needs met within the confines of your station. If an aristocrat started ‘friend flirting’ with you, it was also seen as rude to not reciprocate. 

10. A few other reasons Anne was probably not lesbian: she had a pretty good relationship with her husband (Prince George of Denmark), and the 17 pregnancies thing suggests that they weren’t having any problems in the bedroom department. Also, when Anne later became close friends with Sarah’s cousin Abigail, Sarah became jealous and began to spread rumors that the two were gay lovers (more on that below). This rumor probably stuck and carried over into other areas of her life. Or maybe Anne was bi and both things were true, who knows.

Anne circa 1685. All physical descriptions of Anne, especially in her later years, don’t describe her in the most glowing terms, which is insane to think about when I see portraits like this.

11. Anne began to grow distant from Sarah after her husband’s death in 1708, which all sources agree flung the queen into a huge depression. She was said to have sat by and kissed his dead body long after his death. Sarah took a tough love approach to try and snap the queen out of it, which backfired. This was when Anne began to get close to Abigail Masham, which infuriated Sarah.

12. Sarah was so mad at Anne for this that she literally wrote a song about her and Abigail being gay together, printed it out on a pamphlet, and passed it around court Mean Girls-style. The pamphlet read: “When as Queen Anne of great renown / Great Britain’s sceptre swayed / Beside the Church she dearly loved / A dirty chambermaid O Abigail that was her name / She starched and stitched full well / But how she pierced this royal heart / No mortal man can tell However for sweet service done / And causes of great weight / Her royal mistress made her, Oh! / A minister of state Her secretary she was not / Because she could not write / But had the conduct and the care / Of some dark deeds at night.” 

13. Besides Sarah, a lot of people took Anne’s relative political ignorance as an invitation to push their own political agendas. It didn’t help that her reign coincided with a rapid development of a 2 party parliamentary system, as the gap between the protestant Whigs and the Catholic Tories began to widen.

14. One of Anne’s crowning political achievements was the 1707 Act of Union uniting England and Scotland under the banner of Great Britain (she had good ideas sometimes, although it’s hard to tell if they came from her or her many influential advisors). Consequently, she was the first ruler to ever rule over united Great Britain.

15. After a series of pretty horrible strokes, poor Anne died at the age of 49 in August of 1714 with no heirs and without reconciling with Sarah Churchill. To her credit, it’s said that despite her failing health she continued to attend cabinet meetings as often as possible until her death. She is buried beside her husband and children in the Henry VII Chapel on the South Aisle of Westminster Abbey.

[viktorhargreves]

some thoughts i have on the s2 promo stills

I think Ben is appearing either in a dream or to someone other than Klaus. The reason I believe this is the color composition for the shot and the framing. The Umbrella Academy is a dark show. Literally. And the season two promo pictures are no different from season one. Why the sudden departure from this? Promotional photos directly from the source (i.e. the production department) usually are not put through filters so this is how it will be shown in the show. So why the brightness? I think it’s either a dream or revelation (you know the cheesy trope where the sunlight streams in and someone finally pieces things together) or maybe it’s a vision that someone has of Ben. Contenders for this? No idea. But judging from the body that’s strung up on the ceiling (yeah, I didn’t forget that part) it could be Vanya. Or I could be totally wrong. Either way, the body does hint towards Klaus’ telekinesis, something he has in the comics that we have yet to see in the show (besides the suitcase debacle). 

We know that Five is the last to be sent to the 60′s so if he’s stuck in a new time with no one around what does he do? Find a mannequin and make a new friend (or something more). Maybe what we are seeing is him about to home-wreck this bitch and steal little miss blue-dress here. Or maybe he’s looking back at a different character... the villains of this season perhaps? Or maybe The Handler makes a comeback? Either way, he looks cautious and if he is looking at someone less than savory then the set up we see could be set up to mock him rather than a harmless department store display.

The paper reads: “S.J.C.C. asks... Have you experienced DISCRIMINATION by your employeer?” Not much comes up in Google for a look into who S.J.C.C. could be but I personally am SYKED to see The Umbrella Academy hopefully tackle race issues. Especially at this time in the world, it could be what people need. Also a new hairstyle for Allison which I love. I personally hope Allison is thriving but this is the 60′s and even though The Civil Rights Act was signed in ‘64, there was no across-the-board stop of segregation at once. I hope for her sake she stays safe.

Again, we know that Five is the last one to arrive. Perhaps he gathers them all to this place to tell them about the newest apocalyptic event about to take place. But a barn? Not sure why. Everyone else is dressed in back, however, even Klaus which is very telling that something is wrong. Allison has lost the hair bump (she was probably just wearing it to fit in). Luther has a beard which is very telling as well because the only other time that we have seen him with one is when he woke up from his surgery (supposedly after a long period of time) so if it was in his control he would shave it off to be the good little soldier that dad made him. Maybe being stranded in Texas in the 60′s made him depressed like we saw towards the end of season one or maybe he just wants to live a little. Diego’s outfit looks very similar to his vigilante outfit in season one but with what looks like either shoulder pads or a hoodie. This could be one of two things: he is still a vigilante using his powers for good, or he works a job like construction or something similar judging by the cross-chest harness. And Vanya. Look’s like she’s wearing a suit jacket. Peak gay. No further comment. 

GOOD GOD!!!  What to say, what to say. As it’s been pointed out already by many other users, Ben. Is. Holding. Keys. That means he is corporeal and has a physical body. Whether this is for a short period of time like when he punches Klaus in season one or if this marks the beginning of a new era of Ben-filled The Umbrella Academy is unknown. Klaus is a fashion icon. That much we been knew. Although, his beard is longer than the promo pictures despite being in the same outfit. Longer than the picture above too. I’m excited for this scene regardless of what it is about, but if I had to guess: Klaus is motioning for Ben to give the keys to him. The car broke down. Klaus gets out and tries to fix it by popping the hood, only he knows nothing about cars. He gets angry and throws the keys. Ben catches them. Klaus is then irritated and asks for them back. That’s just my take. Klaus looks like he’s smiling but it could be the natural face a person makes when they are squinting from the sun (this is Texas and those are sunglasses (also water is wet)).

#justgirlythings. Vanya is the only one who seems uncomfortable, also where are Klaus’s shoes? If you look in the background it appears this isn’t a salon as you would guess on the first look but rather someone’s house. Maybe this is a way to time travel without Five? Or some other sci-fi device like the shoot that Cha-Cha and Hazel used in season one to get their orders. Either way, there is a lot more going on here than we know from first looking and I wouldn’t put it past anyone that this is an important still to remember and keep in mind.

Iron Man references aside (thank you Justin Min), look at her entire body posture and language. Clenched jaw, clenched fists, forehead straining, eyes closed but not clenched like the others, neck straining. Vanya appears to be in the middle of nowhere so maybe she’s testing her powers? Last time we saw her testing her powers it was in the middle of the woods with Leonard so maybe this will be a good parallel. What else to do in the 60′s when you’re stranded than to try out your superpowers that you just remembered a few days ago?

Vanya! Is! Happy! She is definitely smiling and looks genuinely more happy than she did with Leonard in any event. The blonde woman is Marin Ireland who plays a character “Sissy”. Variety and Netflix have stated that Sissy is "a fearless, no-nonsense mom from Texas who married young for all the wrong reasons". Maybe, and I’m just spit-balling here, she married young because of internalized and outward homophobia that is probably rampant in the 60′s and in Texas. She meets Vanya and the two begin a relationship. Friends? Lovers? More? Vanya’s right hand is either on a gear shift (manual transmission i.e. stick shift cars were much more common in the 60′s than now) or on Sissy’s knee. I like the idea of her resting her hand on Sissy’s thigh and smiling, maybe driving off on a new life together. 

Like. The Gang’s all here, Scoob. Even Ben! Allison is talking, it seems so to have Ben in the shot is odd. Usually Ben only appears when Klaus is the main character of the shot or the scene since he can only see him. Except, maybe everyone can see him!! Klaus can summon Ben as seen in the season one finale so maybe he was able to do it for a longer amount of time. I personally really hope that we see more of Ben (which the stills lead me to believe) and that they will develop not only his character and backstory more but his powers as well. His power rivals only Vanya’s is sheer amount of destruction it can cause. The room, however, where they all are looks unassuming. It could be where Five has taken up a residence, could be a house of one of the other siblings (we know that some of them did in fact settle down and start lives in Texas), or maybe it’s just a safe place to meet as a team. Either way I am psyched!

It’s safe to assume that these are the assassins. Whether they are with the organization that The Handler was with is unclear. What is clear is that I get Stranger Things vibes from these guys. It might be the white hair and dark, cloudy road. Either way, these guys are played by Tom Sinclair, Kris Holden-Ried, and Jason Bryden left to right and they play Oscar, Axel, and Otto respectively. 

Diego, Diego, Diego. My son. Disregarding the long hair and beard completely because I refuse to acknowledge it at this point, here is my interpretation of the scene. This is a flashback in the same fashion that we had a Diego flashback in episode three of season one. That flashback had Grace helping Diego through a stutter and then in one camera motion showed current-day Diego sitting on his old bed. This could be the same kind of thing, with current-day Diego sitting where he past self was and watching a scene unfold around him. Why else would he be in his uniform? How could it fit? How could he be back in the mansion?

-----------

That’s all I have to say about it for now but my ask box is OPEN for theories, possible explanations, or hypotheses on season two or any of the promotional stills. Time travel is messy. Let’s see what happens on July 31st.

[fioress]

chicago’s very own fiore gattuso has been spotted on madison avenue driving a 2020 bentley continental gt v8 in red , welcome ! your resemblance to lorenzo zurzolo is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty first birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re impatient , but being cunning might help you . i think being a libra explains that .  3 things that would paint  a  better picture of you would be bloodshot baby blue eyes, long drives without a specific destination, getting high by the beach. ( i have been conning money out of older women and men ever since my parents disowned me  ) & ( cismale + he/him  )

tw : abuse, homophobia

full  name : fiore emiliano luca gattuso ( first name pronounced fee-oh-reh, also see here! )

nicknames : fifi, emmy ( by people who know his middle name ), some people might say... flower boy ( fiore literally means flower in italian ) 😳

gender : cismale

height :  5 ′ 8

age : 21

birthday : october 14 , 1998

zodiac : libra  ( leo moon, aquarius ascendant )

right  handed  or  left  handed : left  handed

eye  color : baby blue

hair  color : basically dark blonde / light brown

piercing  &  tattoos : the libra symbol on his left wrist, a cartilage piercing on his right ear

languages  spoken : italian  ( native  tongue ), english, spanish, sicilian ( after many summers spent in his parents’ summer house in sicily )

sexuality : bisexual

place  of  birth : napoli, italia ( naples, italy in english )

last  3  songs  listened  to : dimmi che mi ami by dj matrix ( a full on fucking italian boy tbh ), talk is cheap by chet faker, west coast by lana del rey

character  inspo : maxxie oliver from skins u.k , adam groff from sex education ( think season 2 adam ), alyssa foley from the end of the fucking world, david rose from schitt’s creek, michael kelso from that 70′s show, a mix of nick miller & winston bishop from new girl, maeby funke from arrested development 

♡ so fiore was born to an american mother named lindsey harrison & a fully italian father named gian gattuso. his mother is a very well known politician & his father is heir of a very popular gas company, literally named gattuso gas ( yikes lol ). besides that, he is also a preacher. without saying much, his parents are very well off

♡ fiore grew up with anything he’s ever wanted ( materialistically, of course ). besides that, his parents genuinely weren’t the best of people. his mother stole millions from the so called campaigns she ran & was a generally very corrupt politician, his father treated his employees like shit & was a pretty hateful person altogether

♡ they were people who expected a lot out of their only son, which made fiore feel an insane amount of pressure from the very start. at a very young age, he showed characteristics lots of boys his age didn’t show. he did things like peeing while sitting down instead of standing up, preferred to play with dolls instead of ‘boy toys’, favored the color pink, got along better with girls, preferred to watch shows that were considered ‘girly’, etc etc. 

♡ they were very harmless things honestly, things that most parents would laugh about & turn a blind eye. however, fiore really wasn’t that lucky when it came to his parents. any time he would do anything his parents claimed a ‘normal boy wouldn’t do’, he would get a huge lecture & a beating to go with it. needless to say, he learned to hide a lot of who he really was from a very young age

♡ he did a lot of things to seek the approval of his parents. he wasn’t smart academically ( dumb boi 101 tbh ), but he tried to make them happy in other ways. fiore was never fond of sports at all, but he started playing tennis at seven years old, because it made his parents happy. truth be told, he hated tennis with every fiber of his being, but again, he did this, simply because it satisfied his parents 

♡ fiore grew up trying to be the perfect son, considering the fact his parents were very much in the public eye of everyone. it was all smiles for the pictures, but behind closed doors, he really wasn’t the happiest boy ever

♡ simply put, he has always known that he likes boys. he likes girls too, don’t get him wrong, but he knew, literally since he could remember, that he also had a thing for guys too. of course, he knew this wouldn’t settle well at all with his extremely strict & religious parents, so he buried his feelings incredibly deep 

♡ he has a lot of charm & wit & found himself getting into relationships quicker than most of his friends. he briefly dated a girl when he was fourteen, but it was when he was sixteen that things really began getting, dare i say, spicy?

♡ there was an american boy new to his very #elite school & if you guessed it, they began to date! yup, his first boyfriend at sixteen years old. fiore was basically living two lives at this point. at school, he was himself, loud & proud, but when he got home, the facade began. the way he would switch up as soon as he entered the front door to his house was honestly shockingly scary 

♡ he really felt himself falling in love with this boy even though they were both fairly young. they snuck around forever. when no one was home, he would sneak him into his room to have sex, sneak out of his house when his parents were asleep, all that fun stuff. their relationship was forbidden ( at least to fiore’s parents ). this is where it gets juicy af tho, hear me out 

♡ so one day, fiore & him get really really drunk & honestly? video record themselves having sex! 😊 they didn’t do this to post it anywhere or show anyone or anything, they really just did it for themselves. they made a few copies & kept it for themselves ( stupid boys, i know! ), but they really felt like they would get married & all that gooey lovey dovey shit so they did it because yolo i guess? this is where it gets peak #juicy

♡ so fiore & him are walking back from practice. this is a time where fiore knows no one is home & no one is coming home for a while, so when they get to his house & see his father’s car parked outside, he lowkey panics a little. of course he makes the guy leave & goes inside to see what’s going on

♡ his father asks him to come upstairs & surprisingly, leads him into his room. he says something along the lines of ‘i just want to show you this so i can hear your explanation on what the fuck this is’ & this is when fiore’s entire life practically takes a 360. his father turns on his tv & legit starts playing his sex tape with his boyfriend. just picture this though; your extremely religious & hateful father & you sitting on your bed, watching your gay sex tape with your boyfriend

♡ obviously, this news isn’t well taken by his father. to make a long story short, he gets his ass beat. like, literally almost dies type shit. when this happened, he was seventeen, almost eighteen. he knew if that was ever discovered by his parents, it wouldn’t go well, but he really didn’t think them discovering his sexuality would be that brutal

♡ his parents basically disown him at that moment. they bought him a ticket to chicago & told him they never wanna see him again. it’s sad, but he packed his things & left in two days to go live with his cousin in chicago. citizenship wasn’t a problem because he had dual citizenship due to his mother being american

♡ it doesn’t really take an expert to figure out that fiore did not take this move well at all. for months, he was really depressed. he wouldn’t go out & would just lay in bed for the longest time. he was really hurt by everything that happened & it took him a while to recover. he has also lived in italy his whole life & wasn’t really used to life in america at all, but after like the fourth month of just feeling sorry for himself, it was his cousin who snapped him back to reality

♡ slowly but surely, he began putting himself out there. his english honestly #sucked when he first got to america, but it’s gotten a lot better since then ( he still has a pretty deep italian accent though ). at first, he began working at a pizza place, but fiore slowly began to realize how much he despised working. his entire life, he received everything on a silver plater with pure golden spoons, so this? he was for sure not used to it at all. again, his life completely did a 360. he went from living in a three story mansion in the most prestigious part of rome to living in a very shitty part of chicago, broke almost always, & working a job he hated with everything he had, splitting rent with his cousin

♡ fiore did not want this at all for himself. it wasn’t until he went out clubbing ( fake id & all ), that one his friends showed him the wonders of conning people. they walked into the bar with twenty bucks and left with four thousand dollars 

♡ quickly, fiore began to learn his friends’ ways. his looks, personality & his thick italian accent helped him tremendously; it was like people literally couldn’t get enough of him. soon enough, he was conning & finessing the fuck out of older men & women for their money. he once walked into a casino with five dollars and walked out with over twelve thousand, & it was only because he stayed for like an hour only

♡ finessing people became a huge hobby of his. it was with all this money that he bought himself a luxury car & jump started his model & influencer career. it was also with this money that him & his cousin ditched chicago & moved into a much better apartment in new york. with his looks & persona, he gained followers like crazy & posted videos on youtube as well, getting sponsorships & recognition easier than he expected. he was literally living off his looks & his personality & honestly? he was here for it! 

♡ there is still a part of fiore that has a lot of issues & trauma. honestly mommy & daddy issues af, but he doesn’t talk about this at all. no one really knows how he came up or where his family is & he keeps it this way, dodging questions about his personal life as much as he can

♡ in a way, he is kind of relieved with everything that happened with his parents because now, he’s completely free to be himself & do whatever the fuck he wants, knowing very well they can’t really touch him now. of course, it still left a mark that he’s never going to be able to erase or forget ( both in his heart & on his body too ), but he feels free for once in his life & he’s honestly kind of happier now 

♡ relationship wise, he really doesn’t commit to anyone. after practically being forced to leave his now ex boyfriend at almost 18, he kind of feels like he doesn’t deserve love? it’s really fucked up but he’s genuinely convinced that no one is ever going to genuinely love him or want to be with him so he just avoids any romantic relationship of any kind, usually just hooking up with people & then leaving as soon as it’s over. the truth is that he really does want to be loved, accepted & cared for by someone he loves, accepts & cares for as well, but will it ever happen if he continues pushing people away? probably not tbh 

♡ he is a fucking drinker & hella pot smoker!! legit give him some alcohol & weed he’s happy. he always has either one on him, or both tbh 

♡ this is all that’s coming to mind rn but underneath is his bio!!

       fiore was born to lindsey and gian gattuso in naples, italy. from a very young age, he showed characteristics most boys his age didn’t show. he would pee sitting down, every time he would visit his cousins, he would rather play dolls with them instead of ‘boy toys’, favored the color pink, watched things that were considered ‘girly’, etc. of course, this never settled well with his extremely religious parents, and every time he would do something even remotely different than a ‘regular’ boy would do, he would get a huge lecture, and a beating to go with it. that being said, fiore was quick to learn to hide a lot of who he really was. he absolutely despised tennis, but he played it anyways, and he did it, simply because it made his parents happy. the gattuso’s had a ton of money, so he played tennis in nearly all of europe. he has always known that he likes boys, maybe even a little bit more than he likes girls. literally since he’s had a sense of judgement, he’s just known. of course, he kept this a secret, practically living a double life, being himself at school and someone completely different at home. it didn’t take long for him to get a boyfriend, and soon, he found himself slowly falling in love. secretly sneaking him into the house when his parents weren’t home to have quickies, holding hands with him down the school hallways, and even lying to his parents and telling them he was going going to tennis practice just to hang out with him. however, one mistake costed him, well, everything.

        they were drunk and goofing around, and decided to record themselves having sex. it was innocent and pure, both of them just making love to each other in the rawest, loveliest form. the two boys made copies of it, and fiore kept one for himself. one day, when he was trying to sneak his boyfriend into the house, he saw his dad’s car parked outside, which was odd because he was never home around that time. his boyfriend left, and he went to go investigate. his father was beyond calm, and bought him up to his room. his room. fiore was confused as his father told him to sit down on the bed, and soon, his worst nightmare became a reality. his father began playing his damn sex tape on his dvd player, and to say he was mortified was an understatement. he was humiliated, and most of all, afraid. it came without much warning, but soon, his father was throwing punches to his face, his stomach, everywhere, dragging him down the stairs just for it to continue. all he saw was blood. for the first time in forever, fiore truly felt like he had hit rock bottom. they took away his cellphone, any type of technology he had to communicate with was gone, and before he knew it, he was being shipped off to america, completely cut off by his parents.

        fiore definitely didn’t take the move so well. he was a depressed mess. he wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep, and over all, just felt out of place. it took him a pretty long time, but eventually, he began adjusting. of course he was still super hurt over everything that had happened, his parents cutting him off, him being away from his now ex boyfriend, his first true love, but time luckily healed most of his pain, and soon, he found himself bettering his english, making friends, and fitting right in. at least he didn’t have to play tennis here. living with his cousin wasn’t so bad either. they constantly smoked, drank like there was no tomorrow, and he even managed to land him a job at a pizza delivery place. fiore hated this job though, but after a night our with friends, he found himself learning the art of conning and finessing older men and women. he does this like there’s no tomorrow, the money he made from all these schemes helping him jumpstart his career as an influencer and model, which bought him back to his typical luxurious lifestyle. fiore is just trying to get by, one day at a time.

extra spice:

[mikenewtonhateblog]

My oc’s aka too long of a gd post

The “BL” Crew (does not stand for boys love I’m just a moron who made that abbreviation before knowing what it stands for). My main crew and main series, a lot is a big WIP right now as I’m slowly redoing the first book and all the lore. Why? I love torture. Book is fantasy type but I won’t specify what.

Lacie, the protagonist. God tier idiot, bisexual bipolar depressed MESS, insomniac, former theater kid, doesn’t know what she wants out of life but currently it is not This(plot of book). Hot headed, impulsive, crude, rude, Mommy IssuesTM, would rather be taking a nap right now, rules are made to be broken, absolutely fucking FERAL, more bags under her eyes than the airport lost and found. 5’5, 130lbs, Aries, age 18, white as shit like literally the whitest human you have ever seen, strawberry blonde hair in a 2011 Hayley Willaims haircut with long bangs, the darkest brown eyes you’ve ever seen that stare directly into your soul. Lanky, no curves, body of a 12 year old boy but works out so she can and will kick your ass and thats a threat. Not human?

Josh. Soft boy, smart, Lacie’s cousin and only friend for like the first 18 years of her life, autistic anxious mess who’s special interest is anchient egyptian history, is in honors classes, despises math, passes out when his girlfriend looks too cute, just needs a hug. Can eat a whole carton of easy mac if left alone, whole wardobe is the same outfit just different colors/hoodies, sensory issues, seriously can someone give this guy a hug. 5’9, 150lbs, Pisces, age 18, mixed (half whatever flavor of white Lacie’s family is [they don’t even know its just some scandanavian shit and irish], and half mexican on his mom’s side), medium olive skin with freckles and moles, dark chocolate brown hair that’s a bit of a 2009 Beiber cut, warm brown eyes, not beefy, a lil thicc and self concious about it but squishy boys are GOOD. Gets bit by a werewolf so now he is one his mood on it is “thats a lot to unpack but let’s just throw the whole suitcase away”.

Zander. There is not one braincell in this man, himbo KING, pansexual dumbass with undiagnosed ADHD, no impulse control, head empty and full at the same time, PTSD, his fashion sense should be an actual crime, gets in fights to feel something, basic requirements for him to be attracted to you: kick his ass. Drinks his respect women juice, sees a folding table and must immediately launch himself on it, chaotic, cannot drive a car and will not, food aggression and eats enough for 3 people but never gains weight which is ILLEGAL, him and Lacie may be a couple.....but in this house we stan slow burn, he talks in caps and every sentence either ends with a question mark or exclaimation point, likes romcoms. 6’2, 190lbs, Sagittarius, age 19, austrailian roots and has the accent but is from [REDACTED FOR STORY REASONS], white, dorito shaped with long legs, blueish black hair that’s long and messy, dark navy eyes that match his hair, bigass neck scar from [REDACTED]. Not human

Peter. Gay dad friend who is TIRED of having to be in charge of a bunch of teenagers, only one with full functioning braincells, lowkey a genius who loves engineering, mixes magical technology with human technology because he likes to play god, is he ever sober? No one knows, will kill for a bottle of single malt, his fashion sense? Tastefully expensive suits perfectly tailored. Likes building his own weapons that no one else knows how to even use, generally non-threatening but can get scary if needed. 6’4, 140lbs string bean man, Scorpio, age 179 but looks early 30s, I know I said Lacie is the whitest human but he’s even paler like a literal sheet of paper with scandanavian roots/ancestors were vikings or some shit, blonde hair styled like 2013 Brendon Urie lmfao, light crystal blue eyes. He’s a vampire and was born one.

Danielle. Tiny, sweet, queen of girls supporting girls, comments on all her friends instagram posts with 20 emojis, LOVES fashion and has a wardrobe that would make anyone jealous, oozes feminine energy, only child and parents are in love still, gets exactly 8 hours of sleep each night and wakes up looking like a disney princess. Just because she is small and cute doesn’t mean you should underestimate her she WILL fuck your shit up. Quiet when angey which is terrifying. Josh is her bf and she loves him so much but also loves teashing the shit out of him. Legally cannot cuss, polite, used her high heels as a weapon once, speaks like 5 languages because studying them is her hobby, gardens, hugs everyone. 5’0, 110, Taurus, age 18, mixed (half french-american, half Korean-american), glowy skin always, PETITE frame aka the friend everyone can pick up when they hug, long past her waist curly brown hair, bright green eyes. She’s not fully human as she has fae blood in her and this gives her the ability to talk to and control plants. Flower crowns for everyone

Becca. Theater kid who would die to sing in Wicked and has the vocal range to do so, cannot wait to graduate and go to her dream college which she got into and a scholarship, closeted lesbian bc her whole giant family is extremely catholic and she feels like not dealing with it, “no boys allowed in bedroom” rule is her favorite joke, chill, middle child of 5 siblings and just wants some peace and quiet for ONCE. Her fashion sense is “I’m dropping subtle hints I’m gay but only to other gays”, has a black belt and took self defense classes. 5’6, 145lbs, Virgo, age 18, Latina (cuban and mexican mix), darker brown skin with light freckles over her nose, athletic build, eyebrows on POINT, bright caramel eyes, short light brown hair cut in a bob, has a tiny nose stud, always wears a blue friendship bracelet her gf made her. Human

Anika. Calling her a bitch/slut is a compliment, bisexual, a bit of a mean girl but she grows out of it give her time!!! Is always Too Much, the horny friend, favorite color is red so thats almost all of her outfits, loves to show off her body as much as she can because she’s hot and knows it and thrives in her own confidence. Her mom is literally like Regina George’s mom from Mean Girls but married a rich man 20 years older than her, Anika doesn’t know her bio dad but thats fine neither does her mom and her step dad is nice and does his best to be a dad. Becca’s gf, always hanging out at her home so Becca can get some quiet because Anika’s an only child and has a pool. 5’9, 135lbs, Gemini, age 18, white, long layered dark reddish brown hair, teal-blue eyes, swimmers body type (I normally do not mention bust size but she would want the internet to know she was blessed with big bahoogles so there you go), can sprint in heels. Half mermaid (boy was that a surprise considering her mom doesn’t know who her father is LOL)

Rex. Nb uses they/them he/him pronouns but honestly will respond to any, goth lite, only attracted to men and ace, can read minds so knows all your secrets, mischevious little shit, great friends with Zander and enjoys his dumbass thoughts and that he’s basically a human version of Jackass, wears too many rings, goth boots for kicking and fashion babey, always has the freshest memes and will not hesitate to roast in the group chat, hangs with the girls most of the time. Chaos god who loves making art, be gay do crime, skateboard and spraypaint. 5’8”, 165lbs, Leo, age 18, Native American, masculine frame, dark brown skin, blue eyes, firetruck red shoulder length hair that’s usually in a ponytail, knock-off gucci sunglasses just for judging their friends. Has magic in their blood so not entirely human and can cast spells and shit (don’t roast me its a wip and I’m doing my research)

Sam. Boho goddess, aromantic, makeup and nails are always instagram worthy, quiet and stoic type but losens up around close friends, Rex is her best friend, has some trauma and doesn’t want to talk about it, emotionally numbed out a bit and wants to purely vibe. Has seen some of the worst parts of humanity and wishes she hadn’t, finds no point in being bitter or resentful though because that won’t change anything, loves cats and once she moves out shes adopting one or three. Has wine aunt energy. 5’4, 200lbs PLUS SIZE QUEEN, Scorpio, age 18, Filipino (her parents are immigrants fun fact!), really olive skin sometimes has a grey/green tinge to it, dark brown almost black shoulder length hair, gold-hazel eyes. Sam’s the victim of a family curse that requires her to consume human hearts to survive, she can transform into a pretty scary looking being and uses this curse to hunt down pedoph*les, r*pists, murderers, and abusers. The less often she feeds the less human she looks, hence the constant grey/green tinge to her skin. 

Andy. Baby of the group, must be protected at all costs, 100% didn’t sign up to be in a friendgroup of 90% monsters but highkey loves it, trans, bi, anxiety MAXED, just wants to draw comics and cosplay spiderman, has to babysit his two younger sisters a lot because his parents are....not great, and as a result now knows all the lines to Tangled and The Little Mermaid. Big nerd energy, has to draw on everything including homework, gets inspiration for comics from his friends, awkward and socially anxious, drinks way too much tea and will accidentally steal your pens. Fears include: crowds, thunder, tall angry men, tiny spaces. Just trying his best. 5’2, 100lbs BEANPOLE BOY, Leo, age 16, white (irish and scottish roots), freckles absolutely EVERYWHERE, orangey red hair thats in desperate need of a haircut, chocolate brown eyes, braces, chronic nail biter. Human and kinda wishes he wasn’t.

That’s it for now if you read all this bless u thank u here is my whole heart. Please no discourse, literally these are fictional people I’ll never publish the books they go to.

[letterboxd]

Locked In.

The director of new documentary Spaceship Earth on snark, queer cinema, the survival of our species, and the ten films he’d take into a biosphere.

In 1991, eight people entered a vivarium to conduct a two-year experiment on whether humans could become fully self-sufficient inside a closed system on this—or any other—planet. Calling themselves the Synergists, the small collective, led by a charismatic chap named John Allen, had backgrounds in theater, art, science and business, and they became media superstars for a short period of time.

With much of the world sheltering in place in cramped apartments, many of us can only dream of being locked-down inside a human-scale terrarium complete with lush gardens, creative friends and a cook as inventive as Biospherian Sally Silverstone. Biosphere 2, which still stands on a ranch in Arizona, looks really inviting right now.

But there are complexities, tensions and controversies in an experiment like this, as documentarian Matt Wolf explores in his new film Spaceship Earth, which blends fantastic archive footage and present-day interviews to bring those two years to light.

Biospherians (left to right): Bernd Zabel, Taber MacMullen (top) Mark Van Thillo, Jane Poynter, Linda Leigh, Roy Walford (middle), Abigail Alling and Sally Silverstone (bottom) posing inside Biosphere 2 in 1990. / Photo courtesy of NEON

Wolf talks with Letterboxd’s editor-in-chief Gemma Gracewood about the lessons we can learn from the Biospherians amidst the Covid-19 pandemic, the ten films he’d take into a biosphere with him, and the dangers of ignoring young people.

How (and where) are you during this pandemic? Matt Wolf: I’m doing well. I’m in my living room in the Lower East Side of New York, where I am every day, and I’m doing okay because I'm throwing myself into this film release. It’s been a real relief to have something to do instead of just reading the news and being trapped at home. The timing is uncanny, but I’m seizing the moment. I’m very happy to be participating and doing lots of virtual events and promoting the film so that people will watch it, because I hope that it will give some perspective for what we’re going through.

That’s the next obvious question: how did your work on Spaceship Earth prepare you for this extraordinary moment, and what advice do you have for those of us sheltering in our own tiny biospheres? It’s funny. My producer Stacey Reiss says the Biospherians were in their world for two years; we were in our filmmaking bubble for two years, too. And so, we could relate in that way but we never thought we would relate so vividly to that experience. And I think, you know, talking to the Biospherians, something that they relayed was that it really was a transformative experience, because they were responsible for creating their own atmosphere, for producing the food they needed to eat, and they really couldn’t take anything for granted—even a breath of fresh air. So when they came out they felt a renewed connection to the larger world, and a different sense of responsibility and consequence for their actions.

I hope that in some ways we all feel transformed by this experience, and it allows us to engage with the world in a different way, because we’re going to have to think and act differently now that we really understand in a visual sense how fragile the world really is.

The exterior of Biosphere 2. / Photo courtesy of NEON

Yes, it feels like the Earth is breathing. It’s such an interesting time. Yeah. I think we need to make a connection between climate change and what’s happening now. If we don’t change how we behave, the threat of long-term catastrophe is inevitable. Not to take this to a dark place, but it’s true.

From a filmmaking perspective, we’re living in a time where, with social media and smartphones, we are creating our own content every second of every day. One thing that’s endlessly fascinating about archive-based films like yours, is how lucky we are to have had people—who were not necessarily filmmakers themselves—document these extraordinary experiences. What was it like when you first started diving into that footage? I’m actually always on the lookout for stories that have a strong basis in archival material that can help activate them and bring them into the present. I was certainly determined to tell this story; it was extraordinary and I knew there was a great deal of media coverage. But when I went to meet the Synergists at their ranch, I was brought into this temperature-controlled room that had hundreds of 16mm film canisters, analog video cassettes, thousands of images; it was astonishing that they had had the foresight to not only document what they were doing but also to preserve it in such a meticulous way.

To me it was an indication that they recognized that what they were doing was history, but also kind of poignant because nobody had taken an interest in that archive and tapped into it, so it felt like an incredible opportunity, but also a responsibility as well. It would have been a much less potent film had we not had that material as well as the video diaries that Biospherian Roy Walford shot inside.

For me, it is unprecedented to be able to tell a story—particularly a story with so many narrative twists and turns—that has archival footage that covers literally every beat of the story. I don’t expect that to happen often in my filmmaking career! This was an extraordinary situation.

Biospherian Linda Leigh and tourists. / Photo courtesy of NEON

Okay Matt, you’re heading into the Biosphere, with no internet, and you can only take ten films with you. What are the films that you’d pack to take? To help you choose, we’ll give you some guidelines. What’s the movie you’ve watched the most? I would say the movie I’ve watched the most, ever, is Todd Haynes’ movie Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story. It was a movie made with Barbie dolls about Karen Carpenter’s life. I have just watched that movie over and over and over again, and it’s a bootleg movie because the Carpenter estate suppressed it. It’s one of those things made of lore, in which people exchanged low-quality file transfers, and I got my hands on a high-quality restoration recently. I love showing it to people who haven’t seen it, and it’s a total joy to watch that movie. That is the movie that I would definitely need to have access to if I could never see anything again.

Can you name a favorite documentary; one that has meaning for you? Every once in a while I watch this documentary that really is in some ways my favorite. To me it’s like taking a bath to watch this film, a bath for my brain. It’s called A Skin Too Few: The Days of Nick Drake. I’ve only been able to find it on YouTube; it’s not in distribution. I’m a fan, but the film is just made in such a delicate and visually precise way. It represents the type of filmmaking that I really love. It’s seemingly straightforward as a documentary, but I think in its subtlety it is really just a soothing and absorbing film.

What’s the film you’d take to entertain your fellow Biospherians on a Friday night? One of my favorites from when i was a kid that I think would be fun to watch on a Friday night is Troop Beverly Hills. If you want just like cotton candy, that would be my version of that.

Shelley Long and her Wilderness Girls in ‘Troop Beverly Hills’ (1989).

A film for the inevitable long, lonely, insomniac nights? If I was feeling depressed and lonely, and like really leaning into those feelings of isolation, maybe like Fassbinder’s Ali: Fear Eats the Soul. I remember that as being a film that was at once devastating but also comforting. Just about human connection and human alienation. I just think it’s so deep and true.

What about a film that you like to impress people with because of the way it looks, or makes you feel? One of my favorite movies that I just love to show to people because it’s so amazing—well, there’s two that fit into that category, movies that are fun to show people because they are unbelievable and true. One is Hail the New Puritan by the artist Charlie Atlas. It’s a documentary about Michael Clark, a kind of punk ballet dancer from London in the 80s, who collaborated with Leigh Bowery and The Fall. Charlie, the filmmaker, made it in the model of A Hard Day’s Night, the Beatles vehicle, and it follows this gay punk ballet dancer on his nightlife and pseudo-celebrity adventures through 80s punk London.

And then my other film that is too good to be true is A Bigger Splash [the 1973 Jack Hazen documentary, not the 2015 Luca Guadagnino feature], which is a similarly constructed documentary about David Hockney that feels like a fiction film staged with all the characters from his orbit during the height of his popularity in swinging London. It’s such a great depiction of an artist’s life and it’s completely baffling how the filmmaker was able to generate such access and to construct a film that feels so dramatized.

What film has had the biggest impact on you, whether for its meaning or for its execution? One of the films that had a big effect on me and that I really think the communal experience is central to, is Derek Jarman’s film Blue. He made it when he was dying of AIDS and it’s a lush soundscape with a kind of like non-linear stream of thoughts coming from Derek Jarman, and a beautiful soundscape, with material from Brian Eno. It’s a feature-length film where the screen is just blue. Every time that film screens in the cinema, I take the opportunity to go because it’s almost a religious experience. A cinematic religious experience. I feel really moved by it but it also is something to share with other people, in an unusual way.

And a film that’s stuck with you since you were young? American Family—the documentary series that gave birth to reality TV. In the 1970s Alan and Susan Raymond made this epic PBS cinema-vérité series that followed this upper-middle-class San Diego, Californian family. In one episode, their son Lance Loud moves to New York and is living at the Chelsea Hotel and his mum comes to visit and he comes out of the closet. It is a unique, different world, many of the Andy Warhol superstars are there. It [felt like] the first time a gay person had appeared on television and the drama unfolds over many episodes.

It was this huge controversy, people thought they were disgusting and perverse for putting their lives on television like this, but it also is kind of mundane and boring, just like a lot of the early cinema vérité, but it really laid the groundwork for what would become reality television, except it’s not constructed for the camera in the way that we expect these shows to be. I like watching serialized family stories like that, and this is the foundation of it.

What’s a recent queer film you’d take in with you? There’s this movie I was obsessed with. I just thought of it the other day: Saint Laurent, by Bertrand Bonello. It came out a few years ago and it’s a completely narcotic, kaleidoscopic biopic, and I think it’s so rare that biopics actually inhabit the psyches of their famous protagonist and that the actors don’t just feel like they’re doing pantomime. This film really captures not only the disintegrating psychology of Yves Saint Laurent, but also the context of the gay subcultures of Paris in 1970s and the 80s. It’s this super-vivid depiction of subculture, but through a very narcotic lens. I just was obsessed with that film. It’s not really considered ‘queer film’, I think it’s more considered a biopic, but to me it’s one of the more interesting depictions of queer culture in recent years.

Gaspard Ulliel as Yves Saint Laurent in Bertrand Bonello’s ‘Saint Laurent’ (2014).

And finally, a fond, family-viewing memory? I always loved Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. I mean, I wouldn’t say it’s one of my favorite films but every time I see it, it’s like, “Oh, I get why I was obsessed with that as a kid”. I love the visual world and Gene Wilder is so bizarre and a little creepy. If you look at it as an adult there’s something kind of perverse about it, but I love a kind of analog fantasy world! So that film is, you might say, delicious.

You could say Spaceship Earth is a kind of analog fantasy world—the Biosphere itself is a living fantasy. I’m interested to know what you’d say to younger film lovers of today about what they might get out of seeing these avant-garde theater-makers-turned-Biospherians of yesterday? This film is more targeted towards younger people. I feel like there is a certain cynicism amongst adults that completely discounts young people and their ability to reimagine the world in creative ways. This is something I really dealt with in my film Teenage, the history of the invention of teenagers: adults always try to control young people. They corral the inventiveness of young people and the languages that they speak and invent. Young people all fight back, trying to define the world on their own terms, and this is really a film about a group of people who came together in their 20s and decided to reimagine and redefine, literally, a new world. There are all sorts of forces of establishment that tried to stop them and question and discount them.

We live in a world that’s pretty cynical and brings a lot of skepticism to people who try to do things differently, and I think as a 20-year-old you might see yourself in the idealism of these unusual people. Don’t you think that’s true? That, like, 20-year-olds aren’t as snarky and cynical? I feel like 20-year-olds are earnest and sincere and idealistic. Maybe I’m out of touch, but that was my experience and part of what I’ve observed in other young people.

I just feel like that ‘snarkiness’ that is often represented in the media is the cynicism that comes with the bitterness of life experience. And when you’re young and don’t have hardships and disappointments that have maybe hardened you with a certain kind of cynicism, it is possible to think more expansively and more optimistically about the world. We really need to tap into that energy. It’s not really helpful at this moment to, I don’t know, to shoot down anyone who’s trying something new. I hadn’t thought about that, but I'd be really curious what young people think of the film.

That’s a useful perspective, and makes me think of how, over the last couple of years, we have seen so much grassroots activism from young people, and now with the global lockdown there’s been a quieting of the youth climate movement, at least out there on the streets. You’re totally right. It was this big loud wave of activity and now with the pandemic it has really been washed over. But what they're talking about is long-term consequences, and if we don’t address the underlying issues that have related to the collapse of our society as a result of uncontrollable environmental factors, the survival of our species is threatened.

Related content

Matt Wolf’s 10 Films for Quarantine on Letterboxd

20 Films for Earth Day 2020

10 Great Space Science Films

‘Spaceship Earth’ is available for virtual screenings and on streaming services now. Our thanks to NEON.

[im-not-a-joke]

Mmh... All the field

the whole- the whole field....

thank you for asking, this is going to be one long post

Alisons: Sexuality?

asexual, unlabeled/queer romantic

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

they/them or he/him, nonbinary

Amaryllis: Birthday?

february 4th

Anemone: Favorite flower?

bleeding heart

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

steven universe

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

probably offer a place to sleep overnight

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

strawberry lemonade

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

my gf? yes, absolutely.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

i’d like to think so, yes

Baneberries: Favorite song?

currently “better than me” by the brobecks

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

a mess, i have three siblings, and two of them are currently living at home, we also have two large dogs

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

yes! my best friend anna, and her brother bryan!

Begonia: Favorite color?

purple

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

mantis shrimp

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

dog, i want the constant love and affection

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

first a botanist, then a geologist

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i want to adopt some someday! sometimes they suck, but i want to be there for someone who doesn’t have a family to lean on.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

abandonment, because i’m annoying

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i shared a room with my little brother until i was like 12.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

visiting all the people i love most, all of my friends, my gf, i’d call my sister

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

taken!

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

france

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when people take the time out of their day to talk to me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

nope, i do want some someday, though

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

yes! i got my ears pierced twice because it ripped my earlobe the first time

California Poppy: Height?  

~5′8″

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes, and if i die before any of my friends, i’m coming back to haunt them

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

a floral tank top, my favorite sleeveless cardigan, and jean shorts

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yes, my little brother was afraid of the dark and insisted on having a nightlight on

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my mom

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

my gf

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

architect’s daughter

Columbine: Are you tired?

yes, very

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

tomorrow i get to leave the house all day to drive across the state and it’s going to be a lot of fun

Coneflower: Dream job?

language teacher! either english to people who don’t speak it or german/french to english speakers

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert. i’m on tumblr all day

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

yeah, i think so

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i’d actually die for multiple people in my life

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes! a stuffed white dog with a plaid scarf and matching antlers! my friend got it for me because it reminded her of my big white dog.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

once i came 3rd in my age group for a 5k i ran

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

i successfully kept a frail axolotl alive for an entire summer

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

i dont care what my parents think about stuff like that, they cant tell my who i am or am not allowed to date

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

@byler-obsessed literally like, maybe 15 minutes ago as of writing this

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i’d like to think i’m decent at singing

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

staying awake during the day

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i saw my gf for the first time in months! i came out to the girls team for xc! i spent a lot of time with one of my closest irl friends!

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

decent, i had coach practice, which was nice

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

yeah, i’d say i’m pretty happy where i am

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

learn guitar

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

my best friends anna and bryan, my older brother, the girls on the team, my ukulele, my therapist, my dogs, the creek in my back yard, my grandma’s amish apple dumpling recipe, random internet memes, books

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

listening to my spotify playlist

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

reassurance and/or talking about things that i enjoy, i’m really insecure so if i’m talking about something i like, that’s me trusting you. 

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

the mental health progress i’ve made

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i lay in bed until like 11, then, i spend the rest of the day out with my friends, we get sushi for dinner and stay up until like 3am

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

be on tumblr

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

i met them both in 6th grade, anna nad i were in the same science class and i met bryan at lunch, he didn’t talk to me for at least the first half of the year.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

bryan, he always knows just what to say, and knows that he doesn’t have to fix my problems to be a good friend.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

like, 13?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

my friend once told me that they couldn’t tell if i was a boy or girl upon first meeting me and it made my day.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

i’m a mess, an anxious, depressed, gay mess

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

my hair, it’s really fluffy and soft, and just about light enough to dye bright colors

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

my chest, it’s always been a huge part of my dysphoria and i want it gone please

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i would play dress up with my dog, he had to suffer through wearing all my old dresses, but he got treats so it was ok

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my friend ry, we met in second grade, we’re still on and off friends, currently off

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

in 5th grade i used the word “suck” in class and got yelled at

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

see above answer

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

carson: christian. it’s my name because i like how it sounds, and anna really liked it too, she picked it for me.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

white, suburban ohio. all the kids had cliques by the second day of kindergarten, and if you were knew, you generally had a pretty good chance of being picked up by the popular kids.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had bunkbeds with my little brother, i slept on the bottom.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

so far, not really. i’m just mentally ill and closeted, it’s not great

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she likes to dye her hair crazy colors, and she used to be a beekeeper, even though she’s allergic to bee stings.

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

he rides his bike almost every day, and supports my mom in whatever she does

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

on my mom’s side, the kindest boomers i’ve ever met, my grandpa used to take us on “adventures” to the park and just watch us play

on my dad’s side: my grandpa loves seeing us but doesn’t get out much, my grandma laughs hysterically at every family gathering, and has all the best amish recipes

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

when i turned 13, i went ice skating for the first time and fell and sprained my wrist

Peony: What was your first job?

mowing lawns

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

we had mutual friends and slowly ended up being close, we were in school plays and track together.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i bite down on my finger to simultaneously distract myself, focus on something else, and hold myself back

Pink: Where is home?

my best friends’ living room at 1 am, with the golden girls playing in the background

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i’d go back and stop current president from becoming president

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

my sister, she has always been driven and passionate and talented, and she makes everything seem effortless and still gives it her all.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

me and my spouse and my kids amd my dogs all live in a decently spacious house in europe, my job is stable and i love my work, my students think i’m cool and come to me if they need help, i am doing well.

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i used to believe that the smoke from fireworks was where clouds came from

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

my best friends

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

the sound of rain on my roof at night

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

when my sister, dad, and i all climbed to the top of a mountain in california

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

throwing up in the car on the way home for visiting my sister in new york

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

a hug from anna

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

it’s hard because i don’t trust people

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 5.5 hours

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

to run, it makes me feel better and i love cross country

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

lmao i dont have one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my binder!

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

the record player song but a boy

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

a list of reasons why you deal with me/things you like about me

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the fact that this is taking a lot longer than anticipated and i don’t want people to think i’m ignoring their asks

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

actual books? only 2, Catcher in the Rye and the Night Circus

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

out with my friends

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yes, and i regret it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i’m double jointed in my left pinky

[basic-cable]

Fic Rec Bingo

I saw this making the rounds on Twitter and decided I’d like to try it (mostly because I enjoy going back through my list and reminiscing about the ones I love but haven’t read in a while), but didn’t feel like Twitter was the best place to post mine. I’ve got both Dreamwidth and Pillowfort, but I haven’t really used them. This is probably the kind of thing that should go there, so maybe I’ll post it there, too. We’ll see. 

Anyway, I only read in four fandoms, so maybe my recs will be boring to most people. But they’re good stories, and maybe there are even some people out there who haven’t read them. 

I don’t expect any reblogs or anything, but maybe people will see it and decide they’d like to take part, and then there will be more fic recs out there making the world a better place.

I put them under a cut because the descriptions and stuff take up so much space.

1. A fic you love without knowing the source material Take the Pieces and Build them Skywards by quarterturn Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 44,816 ** Explicit ** Character Death Gerard's not happy with his life, but that doesn't mean he's particularly thrilled when he wakes up dead. To add insult to injury, he finds out that instead of crossing over, he's been chosen to join the ranks of the grim reapers. Things get more complicated when he falls for one of the living, a waiter named Frank Iero. And just when everything finally seems to be falling into place, Frank's name shows up on the list of souls to be reaped. Loosely based on the TV show Dead Like Me.

I don’t know anything about the TV show Dead Like Me; when I first read this fic in 2009, I had never even heard of it. I’ve wondered since then if I like it even better because I don’t know anything about the source material, but I’ll never know.It made me laugh and cry; it’s an emotional roller coaster, and I love it.

2. A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work but does

An Inexplicable Occurrence of Angels by stele3

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 35,192 ** PG-13 ** No Warnings

I've messed with the band timeline, clearly. This is set in summer of 2005... but it ain't the Summer of Like. This is a story about second chances and gutting through your own failures, but never letting them defeat you. Take that, bitches.

Frank (Frank!) is a literal angel, okay, but there is not a thing I don’t love about this story. It’s angsty but still manages to be cute and charming as fuck, and the characterization is great.

3. A fic you’ve reread several times

Seeds by thesardine

Sherlock ** Gen, supposedly ** 5,475 ** PG-13 ** No Warnings

In a fit of boredom Sherlock plants some seeds, may or may not eat one cracker, and definitely waxes dramatic on the sofa for a while.

Sherlock struggles with a bit of depression caused by boredom, and accidentally discovers a hobby he slowly learns to allow himself to enjoy. I love this a lot; the author takes us into Sherlock’s headspace, so you’re painfully aware just how much he needs a distraction, and how much better off he is with John in his life.

4. A fic you still remember many years later

In Care Of by Fangs_Fawn

Harry Potter ** Gen ** 45,319 ** PG-13 ** Child Abuse

During the summer before sixth year, Harry finds an injured bat in the garden and decides to try to heal it...and an unwilling Snape learns just what kind of a person Harry Potter really is.

Between the Dursleys getting what’s coming to them, and the redemption of Harry, Snape, and Dumbledore in each others’ eyes, this story has really stuck with me through the years.

5. A comfort fic

Nature and Nurture by earlgreytea68

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 203,273 ** Mature ** No Warnings

The British Government accidentally clones Sherlock Holmes. Which brings a baby to 221B Baker Street.

Thousands of words of fluff. Literally. There’s not a lot of conflict in this story, which makes it a great comfort fic when your mind is too busy or real life is too depressing.

6. A cathartic fic

The Quiet Man by ivyblossom

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 157,369 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

"Do you just carry on talking when I'm away?"

Post-Reichenbach John is walking the line between fantasy and reality, choosing to stay with the Sherlock in his head rather than deal with the reality where he no longer exists. He eventually manages to attempt a normal life, but he’s bored and basically sleepwalking through his days, so when Sherlock finally reveals himself, it’s the best kind of relief. They go after the last remnants of Moriarty’s web, in hopes of a second chance at the life they should have had together.

7. A fic you’d print and put on your bookshelf

Saving Sherlock Holmes by earlgreytea68

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John Mycroft/Greg ** 139,494 ** Mature ** Underage

Okay. So. This was literally supposed to be, like, three or four chapters as a prologue to the show. Sort of a "what happened in the Holmes childhoods to make them the way they are today." That's why it's set in the time period it is, because I thought I was eventually going to leave them to go on to the show. And then...I got a bit carried away and thought, Here I have established the two young Holmes boys. Now what happens if, instead of making them wait twenty years, I give them everything they need to fix themselves right now? Forty-three chapters later, you have this story.

To be honest, I would like to have most of my favorite fics in book form, with actual pages, that I could pluck from my actual shelf and sit and read without the glare of a screen between us. But I do enjoy the feel of this story, and I do believe it would make a good actual book.

8. A fic you associate with a song

Unholyverse by bexless

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 186,764 ** Explicit ** Violence & Character Death

“He thinks I have stigmata,” Frank said, because what the fucking hell, it couldn’t get any worse. He might as well just lay it out.

“Oh, well,” said Brian into his hands. “Of course.”

Every time I so much as think about this series, MCR’s Heaven Help Us starts playing in my head.

9. A fic that inspires you

Turn by Saras_Girl

Harry Potter ** Harry/Draco ** 306,708 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Frankly, I love every single thing this author has ever churned out, but this one is my very favorite. Harry gets a glimpse into what his life could have been, and a chance to make big changes he desperately needs. 

10. A fic that brought you on board a new ship

So, So Fucked by Anonymous

Bandom ** Pete/Patrick ** 12,565 ** Mature ** No Warnings

Pete accidentally "outs" himself and Patrick on Good Morning America. Only problem? They're not gay. What now?

I was reading strictly in Harry Potter at the time, and wasn’t interested in bandom at all, but my best friend was doing betas for someone who was writing in bandom, and she ended up getting into it and then wrote this one, and kept calling me about it to bounce ideas around, and the story was so cute, and Pete and Patrick were so cute, and I suddenly found myself totally invested. Honestly I think it may have been one of the best things that ever happened to me.

11. A fic you wish could be a movie

The Anatomy of a Fall by novembersmith

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 107,525 ** Explicit ** Violence & Character Death

The unholy union of a high school AU and a ghost story. Gerard's life takes a strange turn when his family moves to a small town in Vermont and he discovers the locals aren't all what they seem to be. Also includes: unexpected nature walks, murder, pining, improper treatment of crime scenes, a number of bone-related puns, high school bullies, and a short-range shrub named Ferdinand.

This story has excellent imagery that I think would work really well on the big screen. Plus I can’t even hear the name of it without my heart doing flip-flops.

12. A fic that led to you making friends with the author

Seven ficlets for Valentine’s Day Part VII by RedOrchid

Bandom ** GSF ** 1,042 ** Mature? ** No Warnings

Panic-as-cleaning-equipment-AU Valentine's Day GSF.

I technically don’t have a fic for this bingo square, but this one comes close, I guess. The author was already in my larger circle of friends, but we didn’t actually talk to each other? She wrote this crack ficlet around the same time we started talking to each other more, and I still vividly remember it because of the genius involved in turning band boys into literal cleaning equipment. The line “Ryan bristled” has stuck with me to this day.

13. free space

Elf ‘Verse by mokuyoubi

Bandom ** GSF ** 103,247 ** Explicit ** Underage

Modern AU where Ryan is a famous poet, and he and Spencer are fiercely private and insular and stupidly co-dependent until Jon shows up and effortlessly breaks down all their walls.

Or

Wherein Brendon and Frank are Christmas elves who, inspired by Will Farrell movies, venture into the real world to become rock stars. Or something of that nature.

I’ve got a lot of love for this universe for various reasons, but it’s also fun and heartwarming and honestly, I don’t really need anything else.

14. A fic you’ve gushed about irl

Harry Potter and the Battle of Wills by Jocelyn (and her mum)

Harry Potter ** Mostly Gen ** 137,385 ** Basically PG-13 ** Character Death

Harry mourns his godfather as the war finally begins in earnest, bringing tragedy and new struggles for all those on the side of Good. If they hope to win, all quarrels must be set aside, new alliances must be forged, and Harry Potter must find the courage to face down dark wizards, his own emotions, and a destiny he did not choose. Snape blows his cover as a spy to save Harry from Voldemort.

This begins after Order of the Phoenix, and the story and characters read more like canon than any other HP fic I’ve read, so because of that and because it’s so, so good, I like to rec this one to people who are new to fandom.

15. A fic you associate with a place

Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi

Harry Potter ** Harry/Draco ** 57,582 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

Wiltshire! I’ve never actually been there, but this author is really good about details. The story is also lovely and funny.

16. A fic that made you gasp out loud

Home is a Name by Arsenic

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 39,314 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

MCR Clinic of Love. Companion fic to Wednesday Night Boys.

Okay, so this one is actually a sequel, and the first installment, Wednesday Night Boys, should 100% be read first. It must be said, though, that while the sequel doesn’t have any warnings, Wednesday Night Boys is about the Panic! kids as prostitutes, and has warnings for graphic violence, rape/non-con, and underage sex. The MCR guys work at the free clinic, and Home is a Name focuses on them. They’re honestly both gorgeous stories.

17. A fic you found at the right time

real or not real by thearkdelinquents

Anne with an E ** Anne/Gilbert ** 11,587 ** PG ** No Warnings

“I could do it.” Gilbert said, looking straight ahead.

Anne stopped. “What?”

He turned to look at her; they were just outside Green Gables now. “I could do it. I could court you.”

“What- We- You- I- You don’t like me like that.” Anne sputtered.

Gilbert smirked at her. “Well we could pretend. I could court you and be your fake boyfriend.”

For one of the few times in her life, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert was speechless.

-

a fake dating fic but it's basically just a shirbert To All The Boys I Loved Before au.

I really, really loved Anne with an E. When the final season was released, I spent a weekend binge-watching the entire show, and then it was over and I was bereft, so I decided to see what was available on Ao3, and I found this, and it was exactly what I needed. And now I have another fandom.

18. A fic that you would read fic of

Left by lifeonmars

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 45,153 ** Mature ** No Warnings

John Watson is left-handed.

He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

In this universe, all right-handed people have some kind of power, or ‘knack’, most of which are mild and easily categorized. Sherlock’s is rare and believed to be the only one like it in the world. John is left-handed, part of the 10% of the population without a knack. I would read all kinds of fics of this fic.

19. A fic that made you laugh out loud

What to do When Your Flatmate is Homicidal by hyacinth_sky747

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 58,650 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

Sherlock takes Molly's advice when dealing with his dangerous flatmate.

Heartwarming and hilarious. I laughed a lot.

20. A fic with a line (or two) that you’ve memorised by heart

A Necessary Requirement by Bexless

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 3,759 ** Mature ** No Warnings

Right, here is the extremely silly storylet I wrote BY HAND on holiday. On PAPER. With a PEN. My god. The things I do when I'm separated from my beloved net. It is set during the Summer of Like (Warped '05, for those of you who don't know) and is basically a product of my reaction to various pictures of Gerard groping himself on stage, which led to me obsessing about his dick and what it might look like. As usual, I chose to work this obsession out through Frank.

This fic could have gone to multiple other squares, but I am not usually the kind of person who can quote lines from things, and I have many lines from this story committed to memory. I’ve read it multiple times, because I read it every time I need a pick-me-up or a good laugh. Or if I’ve read something scary and I need something lighter before I can actually get up and move around my house...

21. A fic that gave you butterflies

Pretty Much A Sex God by adellyna

Bandom ** Spencer/Jon ** 3,985 ** PG-13 ** No Warnings

Jon and Spencer’s first date.

The Jon in this story is so soft and warm and fluffy and his character makes my heart and stomach do weird things.

22. A fic that embodies something you value in life

A Marauder’s Plan by CatsAreCool (Rachel500)

Harry Potter ** Harry/Hermione ** 865,520 ** PG13 ** Violence/Death/Underage

What if Sirius decided to stay in England and deliver on his promise to raise Harry instead of hiding somewhere sunny? Changes abound with that one decision...

ALSO

Harry’s New Home by kbinnz

Harry Potter ** Gen ** 318,389 ** PG-13 ** Abuse

One lonely little boy. One snarky, grumpy git. When the safety of one was entrusted to the other, everyone knew this was not going to turn out well... Or was it? AU, sequel to "Harry's First Detention". 

In these two stories, Sirius and Severus throw everything they have into creating the best possible world for Harry, as he is their number one priority, because that is exactly how parenthood should be. 

23. A favourite AU

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 156,714 ** Explicit ** No Warnings

Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?

This has got quite a bit of schmoop, which isn’t usually my thing, but this story is so, so good, and I always love stories that describe Sherlock realizing and appreciating how extraordinary John is.

24. A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading

Collared by VelvetMace

Sherlock ** Sherlock/John ** 83,028 ** Explicit ** Violence & Rape/Non-Con

In a world where the British Empire is still strong and slavery is her economic backbone, John has become a terrorist for the abolitionist movement. He is caught by Mycroft, enslaved, and given to Sherlock for training. The goal: To test a new kind of slave collar with the power to break even the strongest willed fighter. One that will make even John learn to love being a slave.

Dubious consent, and humiliation. I remember staying up very late reading this one, even though I had to work early the next morning. I just couldn’t put it down. 

25. A fic that made you feel seen

Buy Handmade by jjtaylor

Bandom ** Frank/Gerard ** 18,755 ** Mature ** No Warnings

He knows something else is going to happen; his life isn't always going to be this. He just doesn't know what has to happen for that change to come, for him to wake up and become an artist with an Etsy page and a home studio, and to never have to see a cubicle again.

This is the story of my heart. I have felt Frankie’s feelings and thought his thoughts, and I love that he does something about it, and I love Gerard so, so much. I first read this in 2009, and my love for it has never wavered. I could have used this one for a good half of the bingo squares, but it’s the only one that could go here.

[elegant-etienne]

🍏🍉🍊

Fruity headcanon asks!

Apologies for the late reply @taetelli​ and thank you for the asks! I quite stupidly kept trying to answer this without a draft and would then accidentally close the tab, losing all of my answers more than once.

🍏  :    how stable is my muse’s physical health?  do they go for regular or semi-regular checkups by a physician?  do they have any diagnosed illnesses and / or take any medication?  how often do they get sick?

Etienne: is in pretty good health! They swim every morning and have gotten back into strength training. They see the healer as little as possible, even though they should know better. Over the years they’ve struggled with self-destructive urges, addiction and depression, which they call their ‘dark moods.’ Since going on hormone replacement therapy, those dark moods have lessened considerably - not that their mental illness is fixed by HRT by any means, but their baseline of absolute hating themselves, their body, etc., has been considerably lifted and they’re much happier.

Etienne severely damaged their aether pool casting black magic, essentially breaking through their considerable well of mana and pulling from their own life force in order to cast a blizzard spell. Since then, they’ve had trouble maintaining their body heat, have somewhat poor circulation, and in the past have had a slow healing time from injuries. Etienne assumes the injury has shortened their life and do any time they cast black magic - one of the myriad reasons they stopped adventuring was the very real possibility they would cast a spell that ultimately killed them.

Etienne is also at risk for a hereditary illness, but so far only experienced the symptom of occasional life sensitivity (but it’s fine, they have those cute pince-nez!)

Adi: suffers from a chronic hereditary illness. His symptoms include sensitivity to light which can be coupled with intense headaches, physical weakness and dangerously low stamina, and digestive issues coupled with frequent nausea. The dry air Thanalan irritates his delicate membranes and he gets nosebleeds and sometimes has coughing fits. Most of the sufferers of this illness die early which is preferable to the alternatives. He handles his illness with potions that help with nausea and have mildly restorative properties and an inhalant potion. He eats little snacks during the day any time he’s not feeling too sick to eat to maintain energy. He’s very food-oriented as a way to battle what could be seen as an apathy for life that also tends to couple with the illness. While he’s begun to occasionally eat dairy products (and eats honey and items made with east), he is a staunch vegetarian, partially out of a literal inability to do harm to other living things.

His organs and bones are a huge mess of scarring and tissue from constant, quick-healing, though aside from his scarred, mis-healed eye, he shows no external signs of what he’s been through. He’s surprisingly able to handle poisons and intoxicants, provided they’re things he’s encountered before, he treats himself with micro-dosing until he develops immunities “to better understand” the illnesses he treats.

Kadin: is the swoll dude who brags about how he never gets a cold. He has an iron stomach and can eat things regular people would probably die eating.

Houmei: suffers a compromised immune system, headaches and fatigue due to his physical and mental trauma. He suffers severe dissociative amnesia. He engages in extremely rigorous care of his skin, nails and scales, in order to try and fight his compulsion to pick and bite himself.

🍉  :    which of the four seasons suits my muse best,  and why?  

Eti: loves spring and autumn equally. They love the changes - both the living and dying - and has a deep fondness for their transitory natures, which they find spiritually inspiring. The bursting into life and the quiet surrendering into death and sleep are equally beautiful. Also, they have a slight preference for spring pastels over autumnal earth and jewel tones 

Adi: loves winter, but only in the Shroud, where it’s constantly cold, wet and rainy. He’s rather apathetic to seasons in general but prefers gray weather.

Kadin and Houmei: both love the activities, warmth, and foods of summer, but are wary about the fireworks.

🍊  :    does my muse desire romance?  is it something they would actively seek out,  or prefer to happen more  ‘  naturally?  ’  what is their love life like?  do they have any exes or past flings,  or crushes?  

Etienne: I feel like if someone asked Etienne this question right now they’d probably just sort of laugh and shrug? They just got out of a serious two-year-relationship with plans to marry, and before that they were in a toxic marriage. Ultimately, they’re not sure that those kind of committed relationships are right for them, and a lot of that comes down to what they feel are their obligations to someone they’re in a relationship with, and feeling trapped by monogamy.

They are pretty used to having other people pursue them, and in truth, are not quite sure what to do when they like someone. They make a lot of excuses for it, like the guy should always ask the lady out, but the truth is they are afraid to be super-open about their feelings. After all, if others are aware you want something, or someone, or the objection of your affection is aware of it, what’s to stop them from taking advantage of those feelings in the worst ways? It doesn’t really cross their mind that they could have something genuine if they risked being vulnerable with others. It’s too scary for them.

Besides, they have their pride. They don’t want to let someone else “win them over,” because that means they lost.

Basically:

Adi: has a boyfriend currently, Zihji’li. I think when it comes to his desires for romance and sex, he is still in very early stages of baby gay (“terrifying religious upbringing” model), while he’s not in total denial he still believes that it would be better if he were not gay, and that he does not deserve to feel good, be loved, or love anyone. Up until growing close to Zihji’li he would never allow himself to consider the possibility of even looking at another man twice, so he really doesn’t have any history with that sort of thing.

Kadin: has lived with his boyfriend for two or three years now! They started out as close friends, but Kadin always had a torch for him even when he was dating his ex. As far as previous relationships go, he’s had a lot of casual sex with men and women but has only dated other men seriously, although the last two guys he dated ghosted him - one of them actually ghosted him twice, and the second time really, really hurt. Considering people’s propensity for not taking him seriously or treating him like a priority, he’s not really interested in dealing with that crap from people! He’s down for casual flings with his boyfriend present, or if his boyfriend wants to have them on his own, but currently there’s no one whom he feels is worth the effort. He loves sex, but he’d rather stay at home with the dogs.

Houmei: has barely been able to leave the FC house until recently due to his level of fear of others. That doesn’t make for a lot of romantic possibilities! He does not have many clear, cohesive memories of his own personal life, just flashes of things, but he does have a sense he had two people who were precious to him in the past, and that bond was severed, and that he’s also taken lovers short-term now and then, people who’s names he might not even remember with a complete memory. Talk of feelings did not feature highly in any of his past relationships. He is somewhat interested in how romance is pursued in Eorzea ‘as an exercise,’ and I think he’s open to the idea, but a bit intimidated by the idea of navigating things when he feels he has little to offer. He has someone he likes but he’s taking it slow with them.

[my-bread]

I used to be an Onision fan. Here’s what happened.

I’m going to go ahead and say that this is a longer post, so I know most people won’t read all of it, so here’s the short and sweet: I used to love onision videos. Now I don’t. Somewhere in there I get stabbed and come out as queer. I give some bad advice and say goodbye. Story over.

For those willing to read the entire thing, find a good place to sit, this is a long one.

I got introduced to Onision by a friend of mine. We had just got done shooting guns in his backyard and wanted to watch some YouTube videos, and he asked me if I had ever seen the “I’m a banana” song. We watched it as well as some other stupid videos. At the time we both loved comedy sketch and controversial humor so Onision was like a gold mine to us.

This was about the time where I started to make my own opinions about things in life. I started to take stances on certain subjects, I started trying to figure out who I was, I wanted to stop shooting guns, color my hair, become vegetarian, get some piercings, and eventually, wanted to come out as queer. I lived in a small conservative town so YouTube was how I learned about everything, got exposed to everything, and I definitely became obsessed.

I loved so many big name YouTubers practically religiously, and Onision was one of them. But the world of YouTube was changing, and shock humor sketch comedy was no longer on the forefront of the website. But unlike the other YouTubers who were trying to change with the times, Onision continued with his videos practically unfaltered. Practically cornering the market of self produced sketch comedy and parody. That was what made me continue watching was the fact that he was still self produced, unlike a lot of other creators who had large scale productions, management, employees, contracts, he presented as an original content creator.

I started coming out as queer to my close friends, with some understanding and others not. I had some very dark nights where the only thing that kept me from doing something stupid was parody videos. Onision (UhOhBro especially) had helped me a lot. And at the time I didn’t really know there was a controversy, I was just a anxious/depressed kid who had a bad sense in jokes. To me at the time Onision seemed like a good guy. While yes, his humor was dark, offensive, and probably wrong on so many levels, he seemed to have good morals and I shared his same views (at least the ones he had when I was that age) I saw Onision as someone who had been in the military but was for gun control, someone who believed in women’s rights, someone who believed in gay rights, a vegetarian, and someone who was against child abuse and mutilation. Views that were not found around where I lived.

It was around this time where I had lost a very valuable friendship in a really ironic way. The same friend from earlier (the one who intoduced me to Onision) and I were just finishing up going through his knife collection when he made some sort of side comment about how it would be hilarious if Onision made a video with a certain other YouTuber. (I’m leaving their name out to be polite because this is supposed to be about my time as an Onision fan, but from what happens next, anyone with basic understanding of Onision drama will know exactly who it is.) I lost it laughing, because the insane fangirl I was knew that they had kissed before and had a falling out. This is also when I rushed to get out my phone and show him the video. Him being extremely homophobic was disgusted by the video and instantly became revolted by Onision. Being the queer kid that I am (I was not out to him) tried to get him to understand (especially since we were so close) but the argument just got more heated, I was trying to defend gay rights, he was trying to convince me that it was wrong beyond sin, and after lots of yelling it ended with a decent sized cut on my arm from the knife he was holding in his hand. (He didn’t stab me on purpose FYI. It was a total accident) I was on the ground crying, mainly because I didn’t want to get stitches, and he was wrapping up my arm, cleaning up all the blood, telling me that as long as wore long sleeves for a little bit, my parents wouldn’t even have to know. Now this is where you would expect us to have a romantic moment, our eyes meet, and he would kiss me, we would fall in love, but no. That’s not what happened. I just simply looked had him, still crying as we sat on the floor, arm all wrapped up in gause, clothes covered in blood, that I was queer. I was still crying, and he helped me get to my feet. He stayed silent, getting me a clean shirt to walk home in, from his closet. After I changed, he was giving me a hug, telling me he was sorry, that he would pray for me, that I was still one of his best friends, that it didn’t change anything that I was queer. But it definitely did, because after I left his house that night, we haven’t talked since. I cried all night that night and the only thing that gave me any kind of happiness was Onision videos. The same videos that had also made my hyper conservative, super pro gun, sexist, homophobic, ultra religious, believer in ‘children are property’ friend happy. Looking back I can tell that Onisions values were not the most structurally sound, but hindsight is 20/20.

I stayed a fan for quite some time, never getting too involved, but occasionally getting smack from my friends for watching his videos because of his controversies that were happening at the time. Then, the adpocolypse had begun on YouTube.

Lots of creators were effected by this, not going to lie, but no one handled it quite like Onision. Like that last huge algorithm change, Onision stayed mostly the same. Still making stereotypical sketch comedy. But because of his language and content choices, could get barely any ads on any of the videos across any of his channels. So the patreon ads began, and I honestly don’t mind when creators promote their patreons. Their are plenty of people that I watch still that premote it, but it’s just how Onisiony he promoted it.

Onision has always been very vocal about his opinions, and if he’s upset about something he will make a statement. The same thing happened with patreon. Almost every joke turned to “for patreons only” or “unsensored hentai break on patreon” videos became less and less about what they were supposed to be, and more just an ad for patreon. Which I was not a fan of. I don’t know if it was just I had gotten older, or my comedic tastes have changed, but I was starting to not find his videos funny. They seemed brash, with overdone characters, rushed production, stale acting, over the top themes, and just trying too hard to hold on to the same thing he had been doing for ten years. I was never a fan of the ‘hot or not’ videos, and slowly he just faded out of my recommendation list when I got online. I never had some major realization while I was watching his videos that I didn’t like them, I just slowly stopped watching.

And the truth is, I would still go back and watch his old comedy sketch, or UhOhBro, or shock humor because I still find those videos funny.

But then I started seeing it from the other side. And oh boy with was a shit show. When I was a fan of Onision, I never saw any of the controversy. Literally zero. Especially since I was a fan of his comedy work. You’d see the ‘apology videos’ or the ‘my side of the story’ but as a fan I literally knew nothing that was going on. Everything was phrased in those videos to not seem as serious as they could potentially be, or be just as serious of a situation but make it look neutral, and that no one person was the instigator. But as soon as you step away from the crowd and saw the whole show, it was a lot more complex. As a fan, at least in my experience, everything was seen as under control. That everyone else is overreacting. That were within our bounds, everything is fine, this isn’t really that bad. It’s just YouTube videos, just jokes. Everything was fine. But everything definitely isn’t fine. That’s for damn sure. When I followed his content, I would never come across anyone’s complaints about his content. Now that I don’t follow his content, I probably see a new controversy of his a month.

I completely understand why people who follow him so blindly do, because from their standpoint, he is a poster child. But it doesn’t mean he still hasn’t done wrong things.

Looking back, you can see his content change over the years, but in some ways it still stays the same. It’s all still controversial. It didn’t really matter if it was shock humor or scandals, it was still views, still ad revenue, still his life. And you can see he’s burned out over the years. Just trying to get content out and keep the numbers up any way he can. But always trying to stay true to what he founded his channel on. Shock humor and angst.

As my (very unqualified) advice to Onision. It’s okay to change what kind of content you make. Emo Charlie and Chibi are literally ten years old. Your sketch characters could be in the 5th grade learning long division and growing out of the Disney channel. I know there are new characters but they are still around. That says how much your content has changed. Also, you are the final filter for your content. You ultimately decide what goes on the Internet under your name. You decide how private or public your life is. No one is forcing you to upload personal content. Sometimes someone else might try to paint you in a bad light but so be it. Fight fire with water, I promise you it’s more effective. Finally, think about what you actually stand for. People call you out for a lot of stuff and actually stop and think about if your actually doing it. Don’t just blindly shoot back a response.

Of course I do not expect him to ever take any of that advice, but I’ll just put that out there so maybe someday it might just find it’s way to him.

Thank you Onision for helping me through my adolescence, I do not regret to inform you I will not be watching your videos. My best regards.

[nylenol]

tagged by @dxlighted​, thank u!!

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 other blogs to answer as well. @youriko-is-my-jam @jhaskii @bearsketches @bingobanjo @radonodera @friskbitz @boy-o @nekekur @nyaalien @tsuru-yo @originalbookwormninja @scytherion @minichen123 @o-h-k-a-y @honking-honokas-honkers @teabeanssss @catonatrain @prxttypeach @featherpaws

1. Last drink: arizona tea

2. Last phone call: my mom xd

3. Last text message: “we need all the clubs to reply before i can make the flyer” (to my club president, we’re coordinating a multi-club event for school)

4. Last song you listened to: closer by tegan and sara, that song slaps

5. Time you cried: last friday over my grades lmao

6. Dated someone twice?: not even once r u kidding me

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? kiss whom!!! i dont have anyone 2 kiss and its a crime against humanity

8. Been cheated on? nope and i hope never

9. Lost someone special? ya

10. Been depressed? always B)

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? nobe

favorite colors

12. turquoise

13. pastel pink

14. neon colors in general

in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends? yes!!

16. Fallen out of love? lol

17. Laughed until you cried? yes multiple times

18. Found out someone was talking about you? yeah

19. Met someone who changed you? yeah? everyone i meet changes me a bit i think

20. Found out who your friends are?: i been knew i think

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: nah

general

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl? like 80% lol

23. Do you have any pets? nope :(

24. Do you want to change your name? no, it has a lot of significance 2 me

25. What did you do for your last birthday? School, got boba w/ friends, nothing much

26. What time did you wake up today? like 8 AM but i didnt drag myself outta bed till 10:30

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleebo uwu

28. What is something you cant wait for? April in general! have a school trip, district convention for one of my clubs, seeing a friend :)

30. What are you listening to right now? closer by tegan and sara again lol

31. Have you ever talked to a person named tom? Ya

32. Something thats getting on your nerves? MYSELF im dumb af and have the work ethic of a rock and i need 2 change it within the next few weeks

33. Most visited website: Tumblr/Facebook r tied

34. Hair color: dirty blonde ? its brown in some places and blonde in others

35. Long or short hair: looooooooong its almost at my knees rn, probably gna cut it in summer

36. Do you have a crush on someone: as if i can read my own feelings! ha! you fool!

37. What do you like about yourself: im pretty weird but its not bad weird (so im told); it’s easy for me to talk to ppl and i stand out a lot

38. Want any piercings? yeah but im scared of them ripping xd happened to me once as a kid so now Never Again

39. Blood type: dunno

40. Nicknames: Sanders/Bernie, Sandro, Sondre, etc., any of my handles on social media 

41. Relationship status: emotionally unavailable lmao

42. Zodiac: emo pisces

43. Pronouns: She/her

44. fave tv shows: Love Live!, PMMM, Aoi Hana, etc., love live is my main hoe tho

45. Tattoos: not rn, but i wanna get something small on my ankle or something one day

46. Right or left handed: Right handed

47. Ever had surgery: pls no

48. Piercings: used to in my ears (asian baby earring piercings), one closed up tho

49. Sport: water polo/swim

50. Vacation: every few years to VN

51. Trainers: pokemon? yes

more general

52. Eating: just polished off an entire tray of blueberries in 10 mins

54. Im about to watch: new citrus ep

55. Waiting for: me to finish this so i can work on the 190274147236 things i gotta do (a welcome distraction tho)

56. Want: a gf! hit me w that gay shit financial stability

57. Get married: ya eventually

58. career: i wanna do concept art for gamez xd

which is better?

59. Hugs or kisses: both? but hugs preferred

60. Lips or eyes: eyes but also both

61. Shorter or taller: either is fine, same height is optimal

62. Older or younger: same age

63. Nice arms or stomach: nice bonus but neither required (i want 2 be ripped tho)

64. Hookup or relationship: relationship

65. Hesitant or troublemaker: im a huge troublemaker tbh

66. Kissed a stranger: no

67. Drank hard liquor: no

68. Lost glasses: no but i WILL once i get them made

69. Turned someone down: yeah

70. Sex on first date: nono

71. Broken someones heart: yeah

72. Had your heart broken: xd

73.Been arrested: no but the one time I thought i was gonna be i had a stroke almost

74. Cried when someone died: no

75. Fallen for a friend: :) ya

76. Yourself: very much so

77. Miracles: yes!

78. Love at first sight: i think it’s possible, in a sense

79. Santa claus: never really believed in him but that man did exist at some point

80. Kiss on a first date: depends on who?

81. Angels: pretty thought but no

other

82. Best friend’s name: benjamin he a thot

83. Eye colour: dark brown

84. Fave movies: the handmaiden is an all time fave

85. Fave actor: all the ll seiyuu! literal rays of sunshine

[immediocregoodbye]

92 truths tag

RULES: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. at the end choose 25 people to be tagged.

Pretend @isoldmyheadbutnotmystereo  tagged me because I know she was thinking abotu me but 2, 2 shy, hush hush eye 2 eye

LAST:

drink: Iced coffee, 6 sugar packets half a gallon of half and half (what’s half a gallon of half and half? a quarter quarter of a quarter?)

phone call: Doctor’s office 

text message: My friend Alex and I talking about 10 year high school reunions and how painful high school was

song you listened to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-3_a24I3PY&ab_channel=BarsukRecords

time you cried: 2-3 days ago I can’t remember

HAVE YOU EVER:

dated someone twice: No

been cheated on: I don’t think so

lost someone special: How literal? Like lost in the desert? I have lost friends in the desert. Or like death literal? I don’t think in that case. Or like metaphorically people drifting out of my life? Probably but I’m a sociopath and got over it I guess.

been depressed: HAHAHAHA 

Haha

been drunk and thrown up: So this one time it was my friend Lauren’s birthday and her boyfriend worked at a bar my coworkers and I always went to after shift and since it was Whiskey Wednesday he brought out a tray of like 30 whiskey shots and since it was free and I was poor, me and every other sucker just did back to back shots of whiskey then walked to Denny’s. I puked in their bathroom twice, ended up under the table sleeping on a Barney Rubble toy someone won from a claw machine, woke up and was driven home, puked all night and then when I woke up hungover I tried sleeping it off on the couch but as soon as I started feeling better there was a commercial for Jack Daniels on TV and I got up and threw up again.

Also like 3 other times probably which isn’t that bad considering how often/the vast quantity I used to drink

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

made a new friend: YEAH!! I made some of the best friends of my life in the last year.

fallen out of love: No!!!

laughed until you cried: In the past YEAR? I’m sure I have but I can’t remember over what.

met someone who changed you: I’ve met people who have really affected my life for sure so yeah I guess!

found out who your true friends are: I feel like I’ve known this for like 10 years

found out someone was talking about you : I think people talk about me every day and talk shit I wouldn’t even be surprised I don’t need to find out I KNOW

GENERAL:

how many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: God, I know a lot of Tumblr people in real life actually.

do you have any pets?: One dog (my parent’s), one cat (actually my wife’s but WHATEVER I LOVE THAT CAT)

do you want to change your name?: Nah I don’t care

what time did you wake up this morning: 10am

what were you doing last night: Drawing and using some dope bath bombs, possibly at the same time (spoiler alert don’t bring your laptop and tablet in the bath, that creates a literal bomb in your bath)

name something you cannot wait for: I’m gonna see my goil soon and I can’t wait!!! 

have you ever talked to a person named tom?: Hell yeah one of my good buddies is named Tom and he’s DUMB 

what’s getting on your nerves right now: Fucking everything I’m on my period THAT’S MY PERIOD YA DUMB BITCH THAT’S MY PEERIOODDD

blood type: A+ (because I aced my blood test wink)

nickname: ???/ I have a lot but none that are like widely used. Kisa, Burro, Gay, Twin, Star Bud, Bea, E, etc (etc isn’t a nickname)

relationship status: murried

zodiac sign: Gemini

pronouns: She/Her

favorite show: Steven Universe, Adventure Time, Gravity Falls, BoJack, for recent shit. For older cartoons, Futurama, ATLA, old Spongebob, FOP, Hey Arnold. Not cartoons, Parks and Rec, B99, 30 Rock, like anything on food network lol.

college:Went/Dropped Out, finished an AA online but never finished my degree in art or w/e. Might go back someday to be a MFT but masters in therapy takes a long-ass time

hair color: Really dark brown and gray

do you have a crush on someone: Is it gay to say your wife

what do you like about yourself: Fuck uh. I think I’m a good friend and try my best to make people feel good about themselves. I’m good hearted and treat people well. I’m a good listener. I think I can be pretty funny. I can be creative if I try. I’m open to doing a lot of new stuff. I’m pretty open-minded and cool w/ going with the flow. I cook pretty dope. 

FIRSTS:

first surgery: My first ever and I shit you not was an 8 hour hip surgery at a hospital that has a very specific specialist for the type of hip injury I got. I was in the hospital for 5 days recovering and had 12 pins and 2 plates put in.

first piercing: OKAY LISTEN my first piercing was my ears, I got it done at the mall and they put some fuckin CHEAP material in my ears. I ended up having an allergic reaction and my skin actually CLOSED over the backings so I was trying to take them out one night and couldn’t?? I went to the hospital the next morning and they numbed my ears and cut the skin open to get the earings out. I was like 8 years old lol.

first sport you joined: Soccer, age 9

first vacation: I don’t really remember because my family took my siblings and I on vacation every year - it was usually a trip up the coast of California, to Monterey, Morro Bay and San Fran.

first pair of sneakers: Yes

RIGHT NOW:

eating: I wish

drinking: I wish

i’m about to: lose my mind UP IN HERE UP IN HERE

listening to: A Youtube video which is talking about politics because I’m an adult that listens to polical news while drawing!!!

want kids: Probably not I wouldn’t want a child that’s genetically my own because of the lotta problems I have, I’d adopt if I ever decided to but I don’t think I’ll ever want kids because I’m sort of selfish with my time and wouldn’t want the commitment of a child. 

get married: RIGHT NOW??? AGAIN?? @man-cultural-outing

career: My current career is what I’ve wanted to do for a while, which is mental health and drug counseling at a rehab, but if I moved into another career, I’d hope to move up into therapy or if I ever committed to doing something art related I might consider it

WHICH IS BETTER:

lips or eyes: Prob like eyes more

hugs or kisses: I like both, I think hugs are nicer probably

shorter or taller: Doesn’t matter, as long as your heart is tal and your temper is short

older or younger: Are we talking like dating preference or just people or...? Like? I don’t care honestly, I have no preference in physical appearance, age, whatever.

romantic or spontaneous: Romantic

sensitive or loud: Sensitive

hookup or relationship : Relationship. I’ve been aware I’m asexual since I was an early teen and I’ve never considered hooking up with someone before.

troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant. I’m super afraid of getting in trouble and I fold under pressure fast lol.

HAVE YOU EVER:

kissed a stranger: If I did it was a long time ago

drank hard liquor: See answer up above (also one night in Isla Vista I had 13 shots of Everclear and didn’t died)

lost contacts/glasses: Don’t think so

sex on first date: Never

broken someone’s heart: I mean I’ve rejected people so probably

been arrested: Probably

turned someone down: A few times

fallen for a friend: That is almost exclusively what has happened to me

DO YOU BELIEVE:

in yourself: Not really but I also tell myself I just gotta do the shit I gotta do and I get it done.

miracles: I’m not totally sure. I think great things happen randomly sometimes and I think things work out for the best and I’m grateful they do but I accept that it’s just random luck. I’ve never prayed for a miracle or anything.

love at first sight: Sort of. I don’t think love based on attraction at first sight is a thing for me. But I think understanding I love someone the first time I meet them and get a vibe about them is something I can say I believe in.

I don’t really care to tag anyone I can’t remember who I’m friends with so if you want to do this just tag me and say I tagged you okay thanks

[pocketgalaxies]

tag game

tagged by: @greysjapril

rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

tagging: @shir-n, @catdcstuff, @junkieshepherd, @robbinsarizona, @blancheharrington, and anybody else who wants to do it

last

1. drink - apple juice

2. phone call - gf

3. text message - gf

4. song you listened to - jessica jones main title - sean callery

5. time you cried - i don’t remember but it’s been a long time

ever

6. dated someone twice? - no

7. kissed someone and regretted it - no

8. been cheated on - no

9. lost someone special - lexa tbh

10. been depressed - not that i know of

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - no

fave colours

12. blue

13. black

14. green

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - ya bc i just started college

16. fallen out of love - no

17. laughed until you cried - probably skdjfskd

18. found out someone was talking about you - yes

19. met someone who changed you - ya prob

20. found out who your friends are - i guess? idk what this means

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - i try to keep it as close to 100% as possible

23. do you have any pets - unfoRTUNATELY no

24. do you want to change your name - lowkey yes

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i think i had korean bbq?

26. what time did you wake up today - 11:15AM

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - watching jessica jones w gf

28. what is something you can’t wait for - jo and alex centric???????

30. what are you listening to right now - jessica jones soundtrack

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - i don’t think so?

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - people who mOM me

33. most visited website - tumblr

34. hair colour - black

35. long or short hair - long

36. do you have a crush on someone - no

37. what do you like about yourself - my hands

38. want any piercings? - no

39. blood type - literally no idea

40. nicknames - nova

41. relationship status - single

42. zodiac - aries

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - grey’s anatomy, jessica jones, person of interest

45. tattoos - none but i want some

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - no

48. piercings - i have regular ear piercings

49. sport - i used to do gymnastics, tennis, and bowling, but now i just walk to class

50. vacation - some nice beach-y place

51. trainers - idk exercising

more general

52. eating - just had some “””Breakfast Bread”””

53. drinking - crystal light

54. i’m about to watch - jessica jones

55. waiting for - research labs to love me

56. want - the weather to get better

57. get married - probably

58. career - doctor or smth

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs

60. lips or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - idgaf

62. older or younger - idk older?

63. nice arms or stomach - aren’t they kind of like a package deal

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker prob but like not TOO crazy

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no

67. drank hard liquor - no

68. lost glasses - probably when i was younger

69. turned someone down - uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyes

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someones heart - ha ha

72. had your heart broken - no

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - no

75. fallen for a friend - no

do you believe in

76. yourself - surface-level

77. miracles - nah

78. love at first sight - no

79. santa claus - no

80. kiss on a first date - i mean these exist

81. angels - no

other

82. best friend’s name - lulu

83. eye color - dark brown

84. fav movie(s) - wonder woman, mr. and mrs. smith, frozen (bc sisters), shall we dance (ft. j.lo), baby driver, stick it, the proposal, and prob a lot of others sdhfsdkfj

85. fav actor - camilla luddington, sarah drew, alycia debnam-carey, chyler leigh, gal gadot, melanie scrofano, amy acker, krysten ritter, and everyone else who played a role in my Gay Self-Actualization

[mag200]

i was tagged by @basilstorm <33

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. LAST: Last drink: water

Last phone call: my friend maria last week

Last text message: “im mad jealous tbh” (that my cousins just saw kingsman 2 before i did)

Last song you listened to: “the fire” by ben howard

Last time I cried: yesterday when i watched It

HAVE YOU EVER:

Dated someone twice: no

Been cheated on: yes

Kissed someone and regretted it: yeah lmao

Lost someone special: yes unless you mean lost someone to death but if you don’t mean that i definitely have

Been depressed: yep

Been drunk and thrown up: yeah

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: yes!

Laughed until you cried: hah i do this a lot i cry easy

Met someone who changed you: not rlly i havent met as many people in 2017

Found out who your true friends were: um nah my friends that i’ve had are still good lol

Found out someone was talking about you: nah

GENERAL:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: idk maybe about 10

Do you have any pets?: yes! i have a dog named percy (short for persephone) and a cat named maya

Do you want to change your name?: lmao i already made up my own last name and legally changed it so i think im good now

What time did you wake up this morning?: 7:30

What were you doing last night?: at the movie theater watching It

Name something you cannot wait for: january so i can go back to school

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes when i was little and i went to horse camp one summer the place was owned by a man named tom and his wife alicia they were lovely people

What’s getting on your nerves right now?: i cant decide if im hot or cold

Blood type: no idea

Nickname: idk if i have any nicknames like technically Shay i guess but that is what i prefer to be called at all times bc my full first name freaks me out a little so idk

Zodiac sign: aries

Pronouns: literally any

Favorite tv show: like if ur asking me for the best tv show i’d say sense8 or american gods but if ur asking which shows i want to binge-watch over and over it’s buffy or vampire diaries

College: im not in school rn but im going back this winter! yay!!

Hair color: natural color is like a medium/dark brown but rn its red

Do you have a crush on someone: yeah the moon

What do you like about yourself: im really very gay

FIRSTS:

First surgery: never had any

First piercing: ears

First sport you joined: go-kart racing

First vacation: uhh first one i can remember is going camping for my 6th birthday

First pair of sneakers: how tf u think someone remember their first pair of sneakers i was probably like one (1) year old

Eating: what

Drinking: what

I’m about to: go to sleep i hope

Listening to: nothing rn but  i can hear the crickets outside

Want kids: yeah probably

Get married: probably yes

Career: im 20 idk

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: eyes definitely

Hugs or kisses: hmmm hugs maybe

Shorter or taller: both are good bc tall people are v nice but short people are so nice and make me feel tall! (im very little but i feel like im 6 ft)

Older or younger: doesnt matter just close to my age

Romantic or spontaneous: you can be both i’d like to think i’m both

Sensitive or loud: i can be loud sometimes but i am always sensitive

Hook up or relationship: im terrible at hook up culture im more about relationships

Troublemaker or hesitant: umm i can be both but more often i am hesitant/cautious

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: does it count if you’d been talking for hours but u met that day like when does someone stop being a stranger

Drank hard liquor: no

Lost glasses/contacts: nope

Sex on first date: nooo

Broken someone’s heart: idk possibly

Been arrested: no

Turned someone down: yep

Fallen for a friend: lmao yeah it was rough

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

Yourself: ah sometimes?

Miracles: idk how to define miracles rlly but i think crazy magical shit happens a lot and sometimes its crazy magical good shit

Love at first sight: idk i think u could be drawn to someone at first sight and there could be an immediate feeling that runs deeper than general attraction but i would not call that love so probably not

Heaven: no. i dont have a really fixed opinion on what happens when we die, part of me thinks we just go into the earth and rot, part of me thinks there could be something else too. but if there is, i doubt it’s structured anything like any organized religion would tell you.

Santa Claus: no dude.

tagging @house-of-chemical-wolves @walkingcanvas13484 @edmelon @lesbiankiliel im not tryin to come up with 25 people bye

[gallaxygay]

85 things

Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

I was tagged by @lonerofshalott​ (thanks ash !! i fuckin love talking abt myself) 

(this is a long post, feel free to press j and just skip to the end of it) 

The Last 1. drink - orange juice (don’t let this fool u, i do not like orange juice) 2. phone call - my best friend  3. text message - ITS SO NICE AND COOL (was talking abt being back inside of canada)  4. song you listened to - little lion man by mumford & sons  5. time you cried - sometime last week when i sprained my toe 6. dated somebody twice - nope 7. kissed somebody and regretted it - Nope 8. have been cheated on - NOpe  9. lost someone special - yeah but it was a while go 10. been depressed - Here i am, in my house, being, attacked  11. gotten drunk and thrown up  - i’m, uh, 15

Favorite Colors… 12. to wear - black, blue, white 13. all shades of blue - i like really dark, almost purple blues  14. pink - uh cool so i dont know what types of pink there r i’m not to keen on any but pastel pink is sometimes ok I Guess

In The Last Year Have You 15. made new friends - yeah mate  16. fallen out of love - NOPe 17. laughed until you cried - ?? don’t think so ?  18. found out somebody was talking about you - yeah AND IT WAS MY GIRLFRIEND VAUGING ABT HER CRUSH ON ME  19. met somebody who changed you - yeP  20. found out who your friends are - maybe ? 21. kissed somebody on your Facebook list - i’m 15 yall, i don’t have facebook

General 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life - it’s me the 15 year old, 15 years, with no facebook 23. do you have any pets- i don’t im so sad i’m allergic to everything i have plants though  24. do you want to change your name - kind of don’t like my name, not enough to wish to change it  25. what did you do for your last birthday - watched a movie with some friends  26. what time did you wake up - 9:45 (i got back to canada at like, 2 in the morning)  27. what were you doing at midnight - on an airplane 28. name something you can’t wait for - the next time i see my girlfriend  29. when was the last time you saw your mom - literally like, just now  30. what are you listening to right now - a fucking jacksepticeye video I Know  31. have you ever talked to somebody named Tom - nope  32. something that is getting on your nerves - just this one kid, just him 33. most visited website - tumblr 34. hair color - black n blue (but it’s gonna be purple soon so) 35. long or short hair - i really like long hair !! 36. do you have a crush on somebody - my ? girlfriend ??? 37. what do you like about yourself - i like that im GAY (thats it)  38. piercings - ears, yo  39. blood type - dunno  40. nickname - one person in the entire world calls me jordie. i Resent  41. relationship status - in a relationship  43. zodiac - sag (i don’t know how to spell it Whoops)  44. pronouns - she/her 45. favorite tv shows - currently: voltron, rick n morty, sense8 and a couple others 46. tattoos - 15 years old  47. right or left handed - leftie  48. surgery - NOPE 49. piercing - (this ? repeated?) ears  50. sport - Nothing  51. vacation - um i was just in texas and maimi for two weeks  52. pair of trainers - just black, uniform ones for school  53. eating - um well i had pancakes for breakfast ?? 54. fav drink - i lovelovelovelove peach juice  55. what you’re up to - i’m doing this ? and just resting  56. waiting for - idk man 57. want - another plant  58. get married - do i wanna get married ? cause like yeah, that’s the plan 59. career - i wanna go into law for now, but also im 15 60. hugs or kisses: hm i like being hugged more i think 61. lips or eyes - Eyes My Dudes 62. shorter or taller - doesn’t matter ! 63. older or younger - preferably the same age  64. nice arms or nice stomach - doesn’t really matter  65. hook up or relationship - relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant - im a hesitant piece of trash so probably of troublemaker  67. kissed a stranger - ive kissed one person, ever  68. drank hard liquor - 15 Years Old  69. lost glasses/contact lenses - i fuckin drop my contacts all the time where do they go ive never found any theyre all just gone  70. turned someone down - Nah 71. sex on first date - 15 years old, is my age  72. broken someone’s heart - Nope 73. had your heart broken - Nope 74. been arrested - Nope 75. cried when someone died - Nope (hasn’t happened to anyone close to me)  76. fallen for a friend - Yeah Man (im mostly unable to distinguish the difference between platonic and romantic love) 

Do You Believe In 77. yourself -  this is a loaded one eh i’m just gonna like, leave it right where it belongs  78. miracles - sort of. i would never say that there’s just no explanation for a good thing (even if it’s sometimes nicer to have random, great things)  79. love at first sight - nah i just think that’s infatuation 80. Santa Claus - if i like, did believe in santa, then this would put a real Big question in my mind  81. kiss on the first date - i think it just depends on what youre emotionally ok with, it’s probably not for me though  82. angels - no 

Other 83. current best friends names - rebecca, peyton 84. eye color - brown !  85. favorite movie - i really liked baby driver ? probably not my favourite ever tho

ok ok ok i’m gonna tag some peeps but don’t feel any pressure to do it ! (i’d love to see ur responses tho!!) 

@novocainekneesocks @yuckierfish6 @heytheredali @mostrecentfantasy @gghastly

or just fuckin Do It and tag me 

[vin-taege]

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

I was tagged by @starrduust thanks sweetie ^^

THE LAST

1. drink: coffee 2. phone call: My best friend and main man 3. text message: my mom 4. song you listened to: 24K Magic 5. time you cried: When I was watching a bts try not to cry vid lol 6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: haven’t kissed anyone yet 8. been cheated on: eh… I don’t wanna dwell on that 9. lost someone special: ahh well, lost in a sense that I don’t talk to him anymore. So, kinda? 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no, never will

3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Blue, esp. pastel or darkish 13. Black 14. Mint green (omg same @starrduust)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: Heck yeah! My @lovely mutuals 16. fallen out of love: mmm I guess you could saythat 17. laughed until you cried: Yes, i.e. the perks of having multilingual friends 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. met someone who changed you: yes 20. found out who your friends are: yes 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: I haven’t kissed anyone yet lol GENERAL 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: about all of them 23. do you have any pets: yep :) a pupper named Sprinkles 24. do you want to change your name: yes, because my full name’s v long xD jk. I don’’t really 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I just celebrated at home, and my mom gave me a delayed present, which were concert tickets ;) 26. what time did you wake up: usually at 5 or 6 am since I have school 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: reading fanfics and crying over them :’) 28. name something you can’t wait for: art school ^^ 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: literally 5 miuntes ago 31. what are you listening to right now: 24K Magic lol 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I don’t have a ‘Tom’ to talk to haha I had a Thomas though… 33. something that is getting on your nerves: flirts who call you a flirt because you’re close to guys 34. most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube :)   35. hair colour: dark brown that looks like it’s black 36. long or short hair: medium 37. do you have a crush on someone: a few hehe 38. what do you like about yourself: I like my drawings, actually :) I think I’ve come a long way and did a pretty good job ^^ 39. piercings: are earrings counted? 40. blood type: I think I’m AB 41. nickname: Jor Jor Binks lol, Jor, Gabi 42. relationship status: single (；ω；) 43. zodiac: Pisces 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Amazing World of Gumball (i am a smol child) (but also) MasterChef and Asia’s Got Talent 46. tattoos: nope, but I want some in the future ^^ 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: no, and hopefully never 😅 50. sport: I’m a jack of all trades when it comes to sports :) my main is volleyball, then swimming, and a bit of badminton 51. vacation: I went to South Korea last vacation :D 52. pair of trainers: The shoes I mostly wear are Disney themed sneakers

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: ahh I just brushed my teeth, but I’m craving nachos 54. drinking: nothing lol 55. I’m about to: either sleep or continue writing a fic 56. waiting for: vaCATION PLS LET ME REST I- 57. want: nachos and a quesadilla. Oh and a drawing tab would be nice             58. get married: someday 59. career: I wanna be an animator in either Disney or Pixar :’)

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: hugs ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: taller guys~ 63. older or younger: older guys~ 64. nice arms or nice stomach: ehh… I wish I had better upperarms, but a nice stomach is cool too 65. hook up or relationship: relationship. Always. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: a bit of both ;)

HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: no 68. drank hard liquor: no 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 70. turned someone down: yes, and I kinda feel bad whenever I think about it… 71. sex on the first date: no 72. broken someone’s heart: I think I have… 73. had your heart broken: kinda 74. been arrested: no jc 75. cried when someone died: no 76. fallen for a friend: maybe?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: I am trash, but i sober up when needed 78. miracles: yes, i.e. my math grades :’) 79. love at first sight: yes 😍 80. santa claus: I still do :’) 81. kiss on the first date: uhh not really 82. angels: yes

OTHER: 84. eye colour: brown 85. favourite movie: oh gee.. I have a lot. But the most memorable for me are The Little Prince, TFIOS, NYSM 2, Feng Shui, The Road, and Forrest Gump

I tag @fangirlingfrofandoms @oppamansae @spring-gay @ask-contemporary-philippines  @crossingbordersonmyown @ask-bts-stuff @ask-ggbts have fun darlings 😘✨