#literally just the most random shit lmao
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"omg u have tiktok its so horrible tho"
meanwhile my fyp:
(warning its a lil loud)
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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I say this with the deepest sense of hatred imaginable, fuck this article
#‘read more’ no I don’t think I will#hey google why was this a recommended article. wanna tell me why that is. wanna tell me why you thought I’d like this shit#there’s a difference between an opinion piece and literal ableism lmao fuck you man#this especially hits a nerve for me because I was a quote unquote snobby kid who was really just autistic#yeah hate to break it to you but I wasn’t locking myself in my room everyday and destroying things and screaming because I was bored#it was because I had debilitating anxiety and sensory overload that I didn’t understand or know how to deal with#pretty funny how the ‘snobby’ behavior stopped almost the second I got on meds and learned coping skills. huh. interesting#actually fuck this by the way this makes me so angry I can’t even verbalize it#yes there are kids who are just Being Kids. but ever stop to consider that maybe they’re going through something they can’t verbalize#saying that autistic behaviors are bratty is So fucking damaging. ppl will internalize it and turn that stress towards themselves#meltdowns that would’ve otherwise been outward get internalized and start self destructive behavior#my fucking source? points at myself#and using the term ‘functioning’ also pisses me the hell off#yeah I’m ‘high functioning’ until I’m Not and I can’t talk or move#also Nobody is just handing out autism diagnoses left and right to random kids who are defiant sometimes#my brother in Christ I would like to see a source for that. where’s the proof that this is happening other than rising autism rates#fuck you fuck you and most importantly actually just plain fuck you#I’ve been treated like shit by total strangers because I have selective mutism. that shit is traumatic#I wasn’t fucking Misbehaving when an old fuck starting publically yelling at me and berating me because I didn’t say hi back to him#I wasnt being ‘defiant’ when I could barely leave my fucking room for weeks afterwards and had panic attacks every fucking day#why the fuck would anyone let this article be published#tw ableism#so sorry for not being ladylike! it’s not the Victorian era you dipshit! I’m not trying to be rude I am autistic#but apparently autism doesn’t work like that so oh ok I guess I’m just a bad person. thanks for confirming my suspicions
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in case anyone wants to know how fucked the legal system is here in canada, 3 teenagers came into my work today and beat the absolute shit out of a random guy because he “looked at them wrong” like literally had him on the floor and were kicking him in the ribs and head REPEATEDLY. cops were called (as much as i dislike cops, it was necessary bc wtf are we supposed to do as random minimum wage retail employees lmao???) and these teens were charged with NOTHING, after leaving this guy bloody and unconscious and his face was so swollen it was hardly even a face anymore. they punched one of my coworkers who tried to stop them too and a bunch of products were damaged as well from them throwing the guy into shelves. and they were smirking and laughing to each other as they walked out with no fucking charges because they were underage. like i’m sorry and i DO TRULY HATE cops and i hate the prison system and but HOW can you just let this happen?? no consequences?? at all??? NONE???????? they COULD HAVE KILLED HIM and literally nothing is being done because they were under 18. like. they’re just gonna do it again. and some girls that were shopping were like “they go to our school, they beat people up like that all the time and no one ever does anything” like what the FUCK!!!! where are your PARENTS😭 why is nothing being done about this!!!! i don’t understand!!! like wtf are we supposed to do, just let teenagers literally assault people?? i guess so! 😭😭😭😭😭
it was so bad that multiple customers were CRYING???? or so scared we had to literally HIDE THEM AWAY from the teenagers
#and it genuinely was random. like the guy was just picking up a prescription#and these teenagers flipped the fuck out out of nowhere#it was fucking insane i’ve never seen anything like it#and i got really scared but stupid and i was shouting at them to get the fuck out#and then security said they had to walk me to my car ‘just in case’ HUH???????#WHY ARE THEY JUST BEING ALLOWED TO WALK FREE#LIKE WHAT#insane shit happens at my work all the time cuz i live in like one of the most dangerous cities in canada lmao#but i have never seen anything like this. just literal senseless violence#like i HEARD the guy pleading them to stop and then he just suddenly. was not pleading anymore bc he WAS NOT CONSCIOUS ANYMORE.#there was BLOOD. ON. THE. FLOOR.#watching the camera footage w the cops made me sick#bc like they were fucking beating the absolute shit out of him#like yall remember how bad steve looked after billy got him ? well obviously that was makeup#but i need yall to imagine something like that and then multiply it by 10.
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while im already on the train of teen wolf thoughts, i might as well say that i do not get sterek. romantically anyway. that ship is so intensely POPULAR and ive been seeing stuff about it for literal years, way before i ever even considered watching teen wolf or really knew what it was. pretty much every teen wolf fic i see on ao3 has some manner of sterek in it unless i SPECIFICALLY search for something else, like its just a given part of fanon, but now that im actually watching it im kinda like. where? like yeah they had that one vaguely homoerotic wall-pinning moment in season 1, they snark at each other a lot, but like. i don't even see them together that often. and that's not even MENTIONING the fact that in season 1 stiles is 15/16 and derek is fucking,, 22 (or 20, I'm not sure on his age but ik its at least a four-year difference),,, which is just. yeah no thanks
if anything they strike me more as, like, goofy, vaguely sibling-coded friends. stiles came along as a package deal with scott and started annoying the shit out of derek and derek had no say in the matter whatsoever, and i think that's beautiful.
all this being said, stiles is absolutely bisexual
#out of all the ships ive seen for teen wolf the one i can get behind the most is scott and isaac#like. that's some MAJOR devotion bro. isaac brings scott up like every other sentence (not literally but ykwim) its cute#the whole allison love triangle is mucking that up a bit and honestly just. what even is the point of that#but WITHOUT THAT. <3#and they dont even have a disturbing age gap!!!#(yeah it has not escaped my notice that teen wolf has some. issues. with minor/adult relationships and inappropriate age gaps)#(theres the whole thing with lydia and that deputy whose apparently like 24 or some shit that i havent even gotten to yet. not looking#-forward to that)#other random tw ship opinions:#scott and allison are actually cute! i was pleasantly surprised in season one when i actually LIKED the main het ship lmao#stiles and lydia (or what exists of them so far anyway) are also cute#i still think it would have been cute/nice/whatever if jackson had repressed feelings for danny (which i know is not an impossibility since#-he DOES apparently come back with a bf later on)#but like i dont know how much i actually see that or if i just like it in theory . really i appreciate their friendship as a friendship in#-its own right#on that note. danny and ethan: SWEET. get it danny. love the trope of 'i originally had an alterior motive for getting with you but i#-caught feelings and really care about you now oops'#speaking generally though the romance (whether canonical or otherwise) is definitely NOT what attracts me to and keeps me hooked on teen#-wolf. not by far#but i like having opinions about it anyway uwu#magpie thoughts
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Ok you know what I feel like sharing these. Here's a little sample of things I've made in LMMS
Really proud of this Megalovania remix I think it's good.
One of the few originals I've made that's actually good and finished. It's kinda like Megaman X.
Idk why I used MatPat's voice in this but I did. It was probably a placeholder.
This is one of the many attempts at making an original FnF song for my own mod that I never made. This song isn't finished (like most of them). Edit: also just remembered this uses the undertale dog sound as a placeholder if it wasn't obvious.
#fynn art#lmms music#megalovania#megaman x#friday night funkin#matpat#minecraft#random shit from my LMMS project folder#Maybe I'll share more things from there if you like it :3#Also hope there's no issues with me uploading these I just got really nervous about that OUUGHHHH >~<#music#< forgot literally the most important tag on this LMAO
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*walking with a friend and a guy my friends befriended (he seems okay? weird humour but cool ig) talking abt falling out of windows*
me: there's actually a word for throwing someone out of a window in english. defenestration
guy, quite weirded out (i think from his voice, his face is like. he's literally twice as tall as me i ain't looking that far up): why? do you just know that??
me: .... Reasons. (chronically on tumblr and weirdly informed abt strange topics)
#a biscuit's rambles#hes not yet desentisised to me saying random weird ass shit ranging from mildly concerning to 'what kind of illegal sites are you on'#and its soooooo funny#i randomly offered them sugar and he looked So wonderfully confused (i am known for randomly handing out sugar packets among my friends)#thus started a contest (well its been 2 days so far) of carries the most random shit in their pockets#so far im winning with my embroidery thread and tealight (which i did not pocket specifically to have something weird in my pocket)#its very funny. its absolutely hilarious. he has no idea what im like and is so utterly unprepared#maybe i do like him (was unsure up until uhhh yesterday when we first properly talked)#(idk he has a sense of humour i kinda. Do Not Like and ive no idea where he came from so i was like. i dont personally need to get to know#him. like good for my friends buuuut. also hes like 2m tall that is freaky as fuck. BUt he seems a chill dude so maybeeeee)#(first impressions and all of that jazz. u dont gotta like everyone. but u might. lmao)#no but for real if im standing anywhere close to him i literally have to tilt my head back as far as can go to look at his face. its weird#no hate to him or tall people i just come from a long line of small people and moderately sized friends this seems Wrong lmao
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I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS
#this has been happening for like TWO YEARS BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TRYING.#my usual art motivation (my webcomic idea) has been put on hold for a bit and because of that i forgort... everything#my will to draw specifically#but in my defense i have been writing k*arlach / oc indulgences and i've been VERY focused on finishing it#i also got a marketing manager (my friend <3) to help with advertising my comms and stuff so uh... look forward 2 that#i might need to start posting all of my art on a sideblog so she doesn't have to log into my main though#so there might be some changes#but i promise i want to do art!!!! but there's always something to do first and then months pass :(#or i get the urge to draw and then life is like ''have a cancer scare'' lmao...#(ended up being cancerous actually </3 but because it's skin stuff it was easy to remove)#(but that really took the piss out of me for most of july... not to mention that ffxiv released a new expansion and i have been...#having a good time with my new friends doing content and stuff!) i also made a friend irl after like 3-4 years of total isolation#we feed ants and watch them move around together and comment on their behaviour patterns...#but like when i say this takes literal hours.#we just sit out there and talk about random shit and watch ants walk across the floor. both of us hate ants btw.#like we don't like having them ON us so it's a bit like playing with fire.#but anyways yeah i've also been really low energy recently too bc of the heat and burnout from college...#but the good news is that i'm transferring in fall to a much more relaxing college & courseload!#i'm hoping it'll stop me from feeling so... awful ?? i guess ??#like i was taking classes i didn't need to that were really difficult & punishing#not to mention extremely boring & hard to pay attention to when dealing with literally anything. i did not want to be there.#my next college is much more interest-oriented so i will finally be able to take classes i want to and learn from them...!#and then maybe i will feel a bit more in control of my life / more encouraged to draw#anyways thank u for reading my ramble. hoping it all comes together soon.#i need to do a lot of work but most of it is so i can sell commissions again#but once the karlach fic is done we're so back on the webcomic train !!!!!!!!
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imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here
i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual
#most of his indirects on twitter are from people in diff asian countries as well and ik he's doing an asia tour soon(?)#bruh he's never coming back to the usa is he 😭😭😭 i need him in chicago i miss him so bad#i feel very ugly emotionally rn still bc i was reading all of the rando ass dating rumors of him last night LMAO and it pissed me off#i know i have no right to get mad and i'm being irrational but at the same time like. everyone is just like 'omg he's so in love rn'#bc his music has been very angsty and like. idk... conflicted? but his new song was very happy and sweet and very In Love Sounding#and i already know all his music is about one person bc he always talks about the same shit (he's very predictable i see right thru him)#and he's putting out a new song called 'shining' and he has been talking abt a person being his light/shining on him for the last 7yrs atp#so like. that's how i know it's about one specific person and i don't think he has moved on LMAOOO so unless he was dating the same random#7yrs ago i don't think he's dating any of the people they bring up tbh... i pay attention to these things not to brag or anything but like#being attentive to the people i love and noticing inconsistincies in their behavior and when they act diff is like. the only skill i have#at least irt other people LMAO like honestly i wrote all the lyrics he ever wrote down in a google doc and it shows a clear trajectory#that starts like... innocently and just gets more fucked up and toxic as it goes. and ppl say he's one of the most sane ppl they know#meanwhile he's been writing songs about 1 person for nearly 10 years and they get progressively more desperate and insane#I'M JUST SAYING. i completely forgot what my original point was but i guess it was most likely that. no one pays attention to him like i do#the songs started being about this person at the same time i started liking him and having dreams about meeting him btw#and they got progessively more uh. spiteful and desperate and weird as the years went on. did i mention i cast a spell on him 😐#and he literally says shit like 'it's impossible for me to move on' 'i don't care about anyone else' 'it's like i'm possessed' etc#and after we met at his concert he got really into saying shit like 'that one night wasn't enough' and 'the spotlight between us'#&the ever-famous 'i like the way you look at me' 'my eyes are on you' 'focus on me just look at me' when all i did was look at him all night#if you're reading this right now and thinking 'celeste do you seriously believe a kpop guy has been writing songs about you for 7 years?'#you should remember who i am and how i reacted to ***** having a gf (that i guessed exactly right months before he revealed it)#i'm schizophrenic 🤷♀️ but the guy i'm into was the one who started my fascination with soulmates and destiny and fate and shit like that#you know it's funny i mention that because he also started writing about that!!!!! in his songs!!! crazy#and he talks about the person making it hard for him to sleep and wanting to meet them in his dreams again and whathaveyou#i mean even in his two newest title tracks he says 'i'm frustrated in the studio the only melody that comes out is for you' and#'i want to turn everything about you into a song' in the newest one... hm.#and btw he announced his album right when i admitted i was in love with him again to my family (they know my insanity LMAO)#and he releases a song about being happy and in love and listening for someone's voice from far away to reach him/vice versa?????#right when i get back into him???#it's my fave color & his fave color & he's releasing it in my birth month like. i know billions of coincidences are a thing but it's crazy
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#look this was probably the most experimental post i've ever done considering i had to make the newspaper article from scratch#and to be entirely honest i uuuh im not happy with it lmao#i should've done an obituary instead of the article but too late ! i have no energy to start again#but whatever .the point is that the article is supposed to allude to alex's death okay so yes obituary would've worked better but too bad#idk i think i just had a massive brain blegh halfway through which sucks because i was thinking about this post all day#but the idea behind the whole concept and the QUOTE in the first place and the stupid article concept#was the idea that nigel wasn't the only one to kill himself at the end of the film#alex did too . just not in the literal sense#alex kills the old version of himself . kills the who he used to be#this did not do that quote or the intention behind the post justice but i'm just gonna dump it here and go#also deep in tags is the best place for me to put the random shit i'm thinking of and i've had the trainyard scene on my mind lately#but i left my thoughts to simmer too long and now it's been reduced into thickness 😞 but anyway#greg may have been too much of a coward to give them the maraclea ending they deserved#but he will never be able to take away the fact that the trainyard scene will always be their version of the myth TO ME and me only probs#okay because that story is supposed to parallel the typical conventions of marriage - the consumation when he lays with the body#and then 9 months later the skull symbolises a birth resulting from their union#that moment at the railway ? where nigel shoots himself with the very gun alex is holding?#that's their consumation babes; their union; their wedding#'pray for me pray for yourself we're one now' may as well be their vows#and what do we get as a result of that union 9 months later? we get jack#jack is the product of these 2 people becoming 1 and just like the skull granted great power to the lord#so too does jack grant power to alex; the power to take control of his life and forge his own path forward#me making this post 🤝 cats : oooooo big stretch#seriously#lowkey glad no one will see this in the tag search lmao#like minds
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So the bronly hardcore Sam stan blog is still at it, shoving their finale positive tag down everyone's throats like them and their cultish little friends putrid takes about Dean dying on a rusty nail and their erasure of Sam's entire character so they can do sad little brother hours will fix all of us huh
#spn finale poo poo#these people have bullied almost everyone in this fandom#and over some of the most innocuous random posts imaginable#while sitting around their old lady knitting circle and still think people care what they have to say about anything#and think people might actually believe they're nice lmao#babe you were shitting on people just the other day for daring to call Cas a main character and before that you were literally GLOATING#about Dean's death
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the tumblerinas really made me watch bones and all for THAT
#i just came back here to be a hater u can block me it ok idc!!!!!#“cannibalism as a metaphor for desire and consumption uww“ baby WHERE?????????#listen i couldn't give two shits about value judgements you can love it or hate it it's good it's bad it's all the same idc#the only thing that annoys the fuck out of me is that you people keep watching shit (not even reading shit!!!!) and saying stuff about#and none of it makes any sense!!!!! none of it makes sense!!!!!!#you're just saying words about it and they don't make sense babes!!!!!!!#anyway cannibalism can be about anything!!!! but some of u are simply wrong!!!!#really it's my mistake for falling for tumblr propaganda lmao you people will say theee most random shit about a movies/tv#“it's about the power of desire and horniness! omg!!!” it's literally not!!! not here!!!!!#whatever babes ignore me unfollow block its all good <3 i'm just a hater it's literally not that serious <3#going offline again <3 god bless <3
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Tiktok realized I was feeling off with my friend before I did
#pov: you slowly start hating your bsf *song on the back sick of your voice sick of your face sick of~*#and i was like whaattt noooo i dont hate *him* and thought of that one while at the time we supposedly were a trio#i saw two tiktoks like that#and then he send me one like 'haha why is tiktok showing me that?' or something#haha lmao dude same!! i also saw 2 of those i dont understanddd#and its been months#and just the other day i was talking with my mom and i told her how I felt and how hes been annoying me for no reason or done/said stuff#that bothered me#sbsjjsjs#and also. the last months im speaking daily with someone else and maybe not even exchange a word with my 'bsf' even though we sit together#in the bus and like- when sometimes i compare the 2 of them or how their reactions to stuff i say are-#idk i feel like hes constantly judging me or doesn't care about what I have to say so sometimes i dont even bother#like at this point im looking forward to the days hes not taking the bus back home so i can listen to music instead of sitting in silence#its an unspoken rule to always sit on the same place and i dont want to break it. even though the other day he was like 'sit on the front#cause im studying'#ahhshs ugh the other day I was like 30 minutes anxious he would judge me about something I did wrong but he never did#like am i just making shit up?? idk sometimes he just annoys me and i feel like an asshole cause we've been friends for so many years but#i do feel a better treatment by the new people im hanging out with most of the time like;#i never pay attention when you talk/oh yeah i remember that random thing you mentioned last year#and like i get he doesn't care about what we were talking about but literally saying 'i never pay attention to you 2' like ok. why even#talk to each other then? ... Also im sick of everyone who says shit like 'once we graduate we'll never see each other again' like yeah#if you have an attitude like that. like half of us are neighbors. i literally heard someone say 'can we be friends until july to go to the#concert?' and the other person was like why are you talking like that why wouldn't we be? and my bsf is one of those people who cant wait#to graduate and never return here#...oof ok im gonna go take a bath Goodbye#sugarenia talks#sugarenia diary#sugarenia has friends#sugarenia doesn't have friends
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I need Joker to fear Captain Marvel so dam badly. Let me explain.
So we know how we, as a community, all accepted that Billy Batson / Captain Marvel is the most egregious Tax Evader of DC (for this who don’t know, there was a whole poll and our boy Billy won out of literally everyone, including supervillains).
And in the Batman Cartoon (and some comics), it’s stated that Joker is terrified of the IRS.
I think you see the picture.
Joker: I may be crazy enough to fight Batman, but I am NOT crazy enough to deal with the IRS
Captain Marvel: lol imagine doing your taxes
Everyone present: w h a t
*clip goes viral*
IRS Agent: So, Captain Marvel was it? According to this footage, you have no been paying your taxes
Marvel: prove it.
IRS Agent: What?
Marvel: to make me pay anything, you need to know who I am and what’s to pay. I got nothing to pay.
IRS Agent: that’s not-
Marvel: not even Batman knows who or what I am. For all you know, I could be living in a multidimensional rock situated in, quite literally, the middle of nowhere.
IRS Agent: …
IRS Agent: I- w h a t
*some time later*
IRS AGENT: YOU BORE A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE TO LATE CC BATSON. SOMEONE WHO HASNT PAID TAXES IN 70 YEARS! YOU OWE US TAXES
Marvel: no I’m not
IRS Agent: Don’t try-
Marvel, holding the lasso of truth: I am not CC Batson, I don’t owe you shit. Plus he’s totes dead so can’t be me.
IRS Agent: DAMMIT
Joker: This mofo is crazy! Crazy? I was crazy onc-
*later*
IRS Agent, in Fawcette: why is none telling me anything!!!! You, Child, what do you know of your local hero?
Itty Bitty Billy Batson: lmao aren’t you that Agent harassing Cap
IRS Agent: it’s not harassment if he owes the government taxes
Billy: good luck taxing anyone in Fawcette lmao, magic doesn’t give a shit about that. Also we have different currency’s that just switches on random basis. So unless the government takes Drachmas, you’re cooked
IRS Agent, on the verge of tears: this has never happened before
Lex Luthor: WRITE THAT DOWN WRTE THAT DOWN
Bonus:
Billy: you know, I know someone who has been commuting tax evasion, tax fraud and more charges. His name is Ebenezer Batson. That’s E B E N Z E R and he lives just outside of Fawcette. Can’t miss him.
IRS Agent, who has a fridge with ‘CC Batson’ and is more than happy to get old man prey: thanks kid
Bonus 2:
Billy: Sweet, the IRS put my uncle in jail and the police gave me back my inheritance. Now to convert this into Fawcette currency (they will not be taxing this money)
Joker, visibly weeps
#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#dc#captain marvel dc#Egregious tax evasion#joker is terrified of the itty bitty boy#lex is taxing notes#lex: new child villain?#lex: potential protoge?#Lex: am I really about to pull a Wayne and adopt him?#thinks for a bit#fuck it let’s go#irs#this turned out to be a Billy vs the IRS
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i love doing group projects where the other members don't do shit. favorite part of school.
#like we literally got one (1) sentence done along with some research and guess who did most of the research? guess.#it was me of course. because these assholes just want to talk about random shit.#so um. i think im just gonna do the research over the weekend as well as summarize it.#and then they can put everything together. or not. fuck if i care.#because if they don't do the work i sure as hell am not showing up when we present#like lmao! get fucked! your fault if you don't carry your weight!#anyways vent over
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random percy headcanons:
wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.
literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck
his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)
he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it
will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs
the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.
he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it
percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao
back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone
has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on
weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like
shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao
bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺
can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao
gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.
movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(
percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake
he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it
has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks
grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic
has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.
he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao
he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence
called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week
the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured
has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him
he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.
he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class
currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!
its his birthday<3
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