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hangovercurse · 4 years ago

Text

Stay With You

You get the call after Rook’s accident and go to the hospital to take care of him.

Requests: “ Could you maybe write another Rook story about where you get the call after his accident that he’s in the hospital and just always staying there with him and when his dad shows up he sees you leaning on the bed sleeping holding Rooks hand or something and he knows you’ll take care of him? I just really love Rook “ “ I was wondering if you know what happened to rook and if you could write something cute like taking care of him after being worried at first about him. I had a mental breakdown when we got the news I'm hoping he gets well soon “

JP “Rook” Cappelletty X Reader

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of the accident (violence, broken bones, etc.), angst

A/N: I have been following every update from Rook and his Dad bc I have been so worried. It looks like he’s finally able to go home tonight but I’m still going out of my mind. I tried my best to do what happened justice (without being too depressing) and ended up needing a part 2. I had to reread what happened like 30 times so y’all better enjoy this just for my heartbreak alone.

Word Count: 3409

part ii

You were always scared when you got a phone call from an unknown number when Rook was out for the night. You’d gotten calls from the police station and hospital more than once, so you’d learn to expect trouble when your phone rang.

But this was not what you were expecting.

“Excuse me, is this Y/N Y/L/N, the emergency contact for JP Cappelletty?” A female’s voice rang out through the line. You rolled your eyes.

“This is her, what did he do this time?” You smiled, figuring he’d gotten hurt doing something stupid and just needed stiches.

She cleared her throat, “Mr. Cappelletty has been involved in a serious accident. He’s currently at Southern California Hospital awaiting treatment.”

You felt like your entire body stopped working. Your throat closed up and you started shaking. A normal phone call wouldn’t use the words “serious accident,” they would just say he’d been admitted for “minor treatment.”

“Can I come see him?” You barely got the words out, mind spinning in a million directions. The lady on the end of the phone gave you an affirmation and you thanked her, hanging up quickly and packing a small bag for you and Rook. You threw some of his clothes in, some hygiene supplies for you both, and anything else you could think he’d want. You texted your boss a quick explanation and asked for the next few days off before grabbing your keys, wallet, mask, and Rook’s insurance cards, and heading out the door.

You drove to the hospital, calling Colson on your way, on speaker, of course. “Whaddup?”

“Rook is in the hospital.” You rushed out, still in a bit of a panicked mode.

You could hear his breathing pause before he continued, “it’s probably nothing, you know Rook. He probably just punched a guy or something stupid.”

You had tried to convince yourself of that, but something felt wrong about it. “I know, but the hospital said he was in a serious accident.” You emphasized the word “serious.” “Maybe I’m overreacting but I have this really bad feeling right now.”

Colson’s voice held more worry after your statement, too. “Okay. Just get there and figure out what’s going on and then call me. What hospital is he at?”

“Southern California.”

“That’s like 10 minutes away from me. If it is serious, just call me back and I can be there.” His voice was much calmer than yours, which you were thankful for.”

“Okay.”

“And Y/N,” He paused, “try to stay calm. If it is bad, he’s gonna need you to take care of him.”

You took in a deep breath, trying to slow your heartrate. “Yeah, yeah okay. Thanks.”

“Let me know what’s going on.”

“I will. Thank you, Kells.” You hung up the phone, pulling into the hospital parking garage and turning your car off. You sat in the dark for a few moments, gathering your thoughts, before heading towards the hospital. When you reached the front desk, you gave them Rook’s name and waited as they read your temperature from the touchless thermometer. You had to stop yourself from groaning as she started reading the Covid questionnaire, answering no to every question.

The lady gave you directions to his room, telling you they’ll take your ID once you get up to the fourth floor. Your hands were shaking as you rode the elevator up, and you tried to calm yourself down before you saw your boyfriend. Colson was right, you worrying wouldn’t do anything but make him nervous.

You gave your ID to the security guard on the fourth floor, impatiently waiting for him to print out your visitor’s sticker. Once you had put it on, you walked down the hallway, counting the room numbers to find his. Once you reached the door, you took a deep breath, unsure what you would find beyond it.

You opened it slowly, a sigh of relief when you saw him sitting on the bed, an ice pack pressed against his face. “Babe!” His face lit up when he saw you. He tried to lean forward on his own, but his grimace told you that it hurt him too much.

You smiled, setting the bag in your hands on the floor and adjusting the bed so he didn’t have to lean. “What happened?” You whispered, taking in his state, and pulling down your mask. He had a small bruise under his left eye and there were wires and tubes running up his left arm. His right arm was wrapped in layers of hospital bandage.

He frowned at you, left hand reaching for your hand and motioned you to sit down beside him, so you did, gently. You wanted to hold his hand, but you were worried it would hurt him more, so you settled to rubbing his thigh gently. “I was walking around in the hills, and then these two guys came out of fucking nowhere. They jumped me and my friend and took a bunch of our shit. I punched one of them but the other one ran to his car and said he had a gun.” Your eyes went wide. “He didn’t have a gun, but he did have a car. And he literally came full speed at me and his partner.”

You tried to stay calm, but his recount of the night made you want to wrap him in bubble wrap and keep him in your house forever. “That sounds so scary, love.” You whispered, your free hand reaching out and stroking his right cheek. He leaned his head into your touch, a small smile on his face. “Did anyone see anything? Or does anyone know who they were?”

He shook his head lightly, “the guy in the car got away, but the other dude got hit too. Pretty sure he’s in this hospital. The cops came in and asked about it earlier, but I’d never seen those guys before.”

You nodded, leaning in, and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I’m very glad you’re okay.” You moved the ice pack from his face, observing the purple mark on his face. You may not know how to take care of broken bones, but you’d been with Rook through more than a few bruises and busted lips. You peppered kisses over the skin lightly, making him smile, which was the best thing you could do at the moment.

“The doctors are supposed to come back in soon. They did some X-Rays earlier to figure out exactly what’s broken, but my hand is definitely fucked up, and my legs.” He raised his right arm, showing you the cuts that ran along it. You frowned. “They said I’ll probably need surgery, which sucks.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” Your voice was soft. You reached your hand to move his braids out of his face, something you’d gotten in the habit of doing quite often.

He shrugged, “I’m fine with it, you’re the one who has to take care of me afterwards.” You smiled and shook your head teasingly.

“I do that anyways, loser.” You chuckled, before a thought popped into your head. “Should I call your dad? I told Colson but I didn’t think to call your dad.”

He shook his head lightly, “Once they told me they’d called you I texted him. He said he’d be here in an hour or so.” You nodded, moving to sit in the chair beside the hospital bed so you could be at eye level with your boyfriend instead of leaning down uncomfortably. “What did Kells say?”

You chuckled, “he said you’d probably just gotten in a fight or did something stupid.” Rook pouted dramatically. “I told him we’d let him know what was going on later and he could come to the hospital if you were up for it.”

He smiled at you as you leaned your head onto the bed, near his abdomen, and looked up at him. He reached to rest his hand on top of yours, even though you could tell it hurt him to do so. You sat in silence for a few moments until you heard a small knock on the door. “Come in.” Rook called, and you sat up, putting on your mask and turning to see who was coming in.

A woman in her early 40s walked in, followed by two younger men. “Hello again, Mr. Cappelletty. I’ve got the results from your scans.” She spoke as the other two placed X-Ray films onto a small lightboard in the room. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you had company.” She said as she noticed you.

“Oh, it’s okay Dr. Tambi, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.” He smiled, looking towards you. You smiled kindly at the doctor. “She can stay, right?” He asked, his hand curling around yours lightly, you could feel the motion straining him and you flipped your hand around, holding his in yours lightly. You hoped it would hurt him less.

Dr. Tambi gave a nod and flashed you a smile, “of course.” She turned back to the films, pointing at the first one. “This is your left hand. If you look at this part right here, you can see where your second metacarpal fractured at the bottom near the carpal.” She raised her right hand, pointing to the bottom of her pointer finger near the knuckle. “So, we’re going to need to do a minor surgery to fix that up a little bit.” Rook nodded and you ran your hand up and down his arm gently. “Your right hand got off a bit easier,” she pointed to the next X-Ray. “No surgery, we’re gonna put it in a cast for a little while just in case but it might be off before you even leave the hospital.” You could feel him relax under your touch at that.

“But then your legs,” she pointed to the next images, “are a bit more complicated. I would imagine they took a brunt of the hit, correct?” She asked. He nodded again and you bit your lip, trying not to cringe at the image of your boyfriend being hit by a car. “The lower portion of your right tibia shattered into 3 pieces.” She pointed to the bone fragments in the X-ray, and this time a shiver physically went through your body. “So, we’ll need to do surgery to fix that up, too. And your left ankle has a hairline fracture that won’t need surgery, but you will have to stay off of it for a while.”

You looked at Rook, taking in the clench of his jaw. He was trying to look tough, but you could see through him, you always could. You knew he wouldn’t ask, so you did. “How long will they take to heal?”

He turned towards you, a soft smile on his face. You two worked so well because you balanced him out. Whenever he would almost get into a fight at a bar, you would be the rational one to pull him away. When you got too stressed out or uptight, he knew just how to get you to relax. When he was too nervous to think straight, you were there to ask all the right questions. You took care of each other, and you could read him like an open book.

“The left hand won’t need to stay in a cast for very long if the surgery goes well, but the left leg might be in a boot for 6 to 8 weeks, and the right leg will probably be a little bit longer, closer to 8 to 12 weeks.” Rook took in a deep breath, and the hand on his arm squeezed lightly, subtly telling him that you were there for him, and he would be okay. “Once we get the surgeries out of the way we can talk more about the treatment plan going forward, so try not to worry about it too much.” She smiled.

One of the men stepped forward, “I’m Dr. Stenson, I’ll be the anesthesiologist working with you.” Rook nodded towards the man, who continued to go over what Rook could and couldn’t do before the surgery. “How often do you drink or smoke?” He asked, and you let out a small chuckle.

Rook shoved you lightly, a small smile on his face. “Often.” He said, and you tried not to laugh.

“And what do you smoke?” He asked.

You mumbled under your breath, “what doesn’t he smoke is the better question.” Rook heard you, sending you a glare and you giggled quietly.

“Weed and cigarettes.” He said, trying to hide laughter as he watched you out of the corner of his eye. The man nodded and soon after the doctors left, leaving you and Rook alone again. “You’re so mean to me sometimes.” He pouted.

You laughed, “If it wasn’t so easy to make fun of you, I wouldn’t be so mean.”

“I got hit by a car, you have to be nice to me.” He whined and you rolled your eyes jokingly. “That’s a law.” He stated.

“Oh, is it?” You smiled, leaning forward, and pressing a kiss to his lips. “I guess I can be a little nice to you. For now.”

Rook’s expression turned serious, his eyes gazing into yours. “I’m kind of freaking out right now.” He whispered, his forehead resting against yours. “I’m not gonna be able to play for at least 8 weeks. What if I forget how to? Or what if they get into surgery and find out that it’s worse than they thought and I can never play again?”

You sighed, knowing these thoughts had been festering in him since the accident. You brought your hand up to his face, your thumb rubbing circles into his cheek. “Babe listen to me. You are the best drummer I know; you’ve been drumming for what, your entire life? You’re not gonna forget how to drum from 8 weeks off. And even if they get in there and find out its worse than they thought, which they won’t, we’ll figure it out. Everything is gonna be okay. They’ve seen worse fractures than these, trust me, they know what they’re doing.”

He nodded, letting out air through his nose. “But what if I could never drum again? I dropped out of high school. I’ve literally never done anything else except drum. I wouldn’t have money, I wouldn’t have friends because they would be touring all the time, I would lose everything.”

“You’d have me.” You whispered, “You would have me, and your dad, and all the people who really matter, even if they go on tour.”

“You would stay with me even if I was broke?” He sounded so small, so scared, and yet so amazed that you would even hint at the idea.

You frowned, confusion on your face. “I would stay with you if we were living on the streets and eating out of trash cans. But we wouldn’t be, because I also have a job and you’re going to be able to drum in no time.”

You simultaneously loved and hated this side of Rook. He never showed anyone how insecure he could be, and he was so insecure sometimes. You hated seeing him so sad. But you loved it, because you were one of the only people who did see it, because he trusted you enough to let you.

You guys had been friends for years and started dating 3 years ago after he kissed you, completely sober, in the studio while he thought the other guys were taking a break (they were really spying on you two the whole time). In those three years you’d come to know just about everything about each other. You trusted him with every piece of you, and he trusted you. You’d moved in together 2 years ago, and now everyone seemed to be waiting for a ring.

You didn’t mind waiting, you didn’t need to get married to know that Rook loved you or to know that you were going to spend the rest of your life with him. It was clear in the way you looked at each other that there would never be anyone else for either of you.

“I love you.” He mumbled, bringing a smile to your lips.

“I love you too.” You pressed another slow kiss to his soft lips. He closed his eyes as you did so, relaxing into it. You realized how tired he must be. “Why don’t you take a nap, J?” You whispered, and he mumbled a sound of protest, but you could already see him struggling against his sleepiness. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.” You ran your free hand over his forehead, his braids having fallen into his face again, before adjusting his bed so he was laying down more.

It only took you 15 minutes before you fell asleep, your head resting against his stomach and hand still in his.

A little while later, Johnny rushed in the room, worry on his face until he saw the two of you. He smiled, taking a quick picture that he would definitely be showing on your wedding day. You got a good one, son. He thought to himself, feeling a sense of his pride that JP had finally found someone as good as you who would put up with his shit.

He took the seat on the wall opposite of the hospital bed. You came to consciousness 20 minutes later, finding the older man and smiling. “Hi Mr. Cappelletty.” You whispered, not wanting to wake Rook up.

“Hey, darlin’. How’s he doing?”

You looked up at your boyfriend, a soft smile on your face as you took in his peaceful features. “He’s doing good, a little freaked out, I think, but he’s good.” The man nodded, and you continued. “They’re doing surgery on his hand tomorrow and then on his leg a few days from now.”

“Damn. Did he tell you what happened? All I got was a very vague text.”

You nodded, the smile falling. “I guess these guys jumped him while he was out and one of them got in a car and hit him.” Your breathing got heavy thinking about it and you could see Johnny’s eyes widen.

He took in a deep breath, processing what you told him. “Jesus, I just thought he’d got his ass kicked at some bar.”

“So did Colson.” You let out a short laugh, your heart not in it. Your hand moved up to run over his arm again. “He’s scared he’s not gonna be able to drum again.” You whispered, tears coming to your eyes as you took in Rook’s sleeping state. For the first time since you’d gotten the call you allowed your emotions to hit you fully, thoughts of how much worse it could’ve been and how scared he must’ve felt floating through your mind.

Johnny could hear the slight crack in your voice, and he walked over to where you were sitting, pulling you into his stomach. “He’ll be okay.” He whispered, “I raised a strong kid.”

You nodded, trying to hide your sniffles. “I know, I just- I can’t stop thinking about how much worse it could’ve been. If he-.” You bit your lip, not wanting to voice the thought out loud. “I can’t lose him.” Your voice was weak, and you weren’t even sure that the words came out.

Johnny pulled you closer, “I know, sweetheart. But you have to remember that he’s okay, it wasn’t worse.” You nodded. “You’re allowed to want him to stay inside for the next few months out of fear, that’s natural. You just gotta remember how lucky we are.”

You wiped your eyes gently, smiling up at the father of your soulmate. “Thank you.” You whispered.

He nodded, “He needs to remember how lucky he is to have you. There’re not many people who would stick around with him for 3 years. Not people like you.”

You smiled softly, looking at Rook with fondness in your eyes, “I’m lucky to have him, too.”

Johnny patted your shoulder, going back to where he was sitting. You grabbed a spare pillow from the table next to you and propped it on the bed , slightly on Rook’s lap. You laid your head on it, making sure Rook’s hand was in a comfortable position in your own, and drifted off to sleep.

#Rook #rook cappelletty #Rook Cappelletty imagine #Rook Cappelletty x reader #rook angst #rook fluff

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thedandelion-writer · 4 years ago

Note

I’m so excited for the 600 followers event, and CONGRATULATIONS on 600! You deserve 600 more!

If I may, I’d like to request a male matchup please! For the questions:

1: Male matchup (I am female)

2: INFJ-Libra

3: I’m a little introverted, I’ve been told I’m really intelligent, but honestly it’s only book smarts. I’m VERY highly attuned to peoples emotions and can literally tell how they’re feeling all the time (it usually makes ppl freak out I’m so sorry I don’t do it willingly). I enjoy reading books, going on runs, and playing with my cats. There are some board games I like, like battleship, chess, Axis and Allies, and Trivia! I hope this helps!

4: first date has to be in a more public space, you can never truly trust anyone. Either restaurant where we can get to know each other, or taking a walk in the park. Really anywhere that’s public

5: someone I feel safe and comfortable with, maybe someone who can make me laugh, someone who’d never hurt me and would protect me. I’d try to protect them too ofc and take care of them!

6: first date kisses on the lips are a no, on the cheek maybe. Brushing hands but not outright holding haha. That’s 2nd or 3rd date material

7: yes I would! I’m a genshin characters whore!

Thank u for doing this Lynn and I hope it won’t be too much on you with all the requests! If it is just ignore this tbh! 💜😸

A/N: I'm so glad you were excited for this event because I honestly didn't know if people would be interested! Thank you for the overwhelming support on my event (and sorry to the 10+ submssions I turned down because it was past deadline). You were one of the easiest ones to decide for, once I read it through it was an instant match hehe

But without further ado, you're going with...

Xingqiu!

My reasons!

For starters, I saw you mention books and reading and immediately thought of him. Whether or not you are as into the hobby as he is, a little common ground is always a positive thing! Xingqiu is definitely a person that is able to humour you, and would never ever wish to harm you on purpose. He'd definitely work better with someone on the intelligent side, and because he sometimes hides the way he truly is to set up a facade in front of his father and brother, you acknowledging how he truly feels (so you can hopefully make him feel better) would be a pleasant thing. I also think that he'd try his best to cheer you up whenever you're done, whether it's with cheesy prose, or a fun, carefree outing or even just sitting down together to read in silence. I honestly didn't really have another match in mind for you I'm sorry! I struggled finding another possible candidate so I shall leave it at that :)

The First Date:

"Aha! Checkmate!"

You triumphantly knocked over his king piece over with your rook. "Better luck next time?"

"No way, I'm picking the game this time. Haven't you had enough fun beating me thrice in a row?" Xingqiu took a defeated sip of his drink before cleaning the table of the scattered chess pieces.

You watched his back as he returned the box to the area that had stacks of all sorts of board games free to use for the customers of this particular cafe.

Xingqiu called it a 'board game cafe' and after hearing about it, you pestered him to put down his damn book and take you there.

"It's a shame Chongyun and Xiangling couldn't make it, it'd be a lot of fun if they could play too wouldn't it?" You slipped out the new activity out of it's box, careful not to damage anything, and started setting it up.

"Truly a shame," Xingqiu said, clearing his throat. "Ah, battleship! I used to play this with my brother back in the day."

You tilted your head, unsure if he suspiscious for changing the subject too fast, or if it was merely you who was thinking too much. You mentally shrugged your shoulders. Even if the other two weren't here, spending some time with Xingqiu outside of reading quietly together was new, and quite enjoyable in it's own way anyhow.

"Ready to lose?" You taunted, making a show of cracking your knuckles.

"'Tis I, who should be asking you that milady," he switched into his formal tone and you know it's on.

Two losses and three wins later, the topic diverts and you find yourself showing him pictures of your cats and him telling you about a novel he's been working on.

"Well it's far from ready, but I will make sure you are the first to read it when it's done," he assured you before taking downing the last bit of liquid from his cup.

You do the same.

"Oh, and before I forget, I finished the book you recommended me last time! It was so good I couldn't put it down!"

Slipping the hardcover from your bag, you place it on the table to return to its owner.

"What did I tell you?" Xingqiu grinned. "Just wait until you read the third chapter of the second book, it was enough to give me goosebumps."

Chatting about it certainly made you more and more curious, so the both of you head down the street to your favourite book shop to buy your own copies of the installment.

You looked through the various titles available, but ultimately settling for just the books you came for.

After paying (in which you had a small back-and-forth because Xingqiu insisted to buy them for you, and that he did) you held clutched them close to your chest, excited to pore over the pages later.

"Thank you for this, you didn't have to..."

You looked down as you both walked, a strange, unfamiliar feeling of shyness bubbling up inside you.

"It was no big deal," Xingqiu laughed slightly, swinging his arms in a carefree manner.

"And no, you musn't pay me back. I know of all your tricks, my liege."

"Ugh you and that nickname," you huffed, rolling your eyes as he chuckled in response.

"Or, if you are really that desperate to pay me back I suppose you could. But of course, I'll take no such thing as money."

You raised an eyebrow,"uh huh? And what would that be."

Realising that he stopped walking, you looked back to wait for his response.

"Another outing--wherever you'd like to go," his usual collected expression with a dash of cheekiness was replaced with something akin to nervousness, maybe even a bit bashful.

You knew exactly what he meant but decided to tease him a little.

"Well that's easy! I'd love to go out again, maybe the others would like to see the cafe too."

At this time, your back was to him to hide a little grin that was playing on your lips.

"What I meant was! You see," you heard him clear his throat. "I wanted to go out with you again, Y/N. Without--Chongyun and Xiangling..."

"I don't mean to exclude them forever of course, what I meant was- wait, why are you laughing?"

"Oh Xingqiu," you wiped a tear from the corner of your eye, heaving in a breath. "I was just teasing~ I'd love to go out together sometimes, just us two."

"Yes, yes that would be nice my liege," a smile spread across his face, giving you a mock little bow.

"No no, please, raise your head my loyal subject," you waved your hand like royalty, which elicited giggles out of the both of you.

As you watched him walk away, a flutter in your heart was a telltale sign that you were excited to see this friendship, perhaps, bloom into something a little more.

#genshin impact imagines #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact matchups #genshin impact headcanons #xingqiu #xingqiu x reader #xingqiu genshin impact #xingqiu genshin impact x reader #Lynn's 600

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storiesforallfandoms · 5 years ago

Text

the wedding ~ machine gun kelly

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight part nine part ten part eleven part twelve part thirteen

word count: 2387

request?: no

description: a year later, you and colson are finally getting your fairytale ending at the end of the aisle

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, lots of fluff

masterlist

series masterlist

*read the author’s note at the end!*

One Year Later

You winced as your sister accidentally yanked your hair again. “At this rate, you’re gonna have my hair yanked out before I get to the end of the aisle.”

“I’m sorry I’m trying to make sure it’s perfect,” Hailie responded.

“Here,” your mom said, replacing Hailie’s spot behind you. “A mother is more gentle.”

“The amounts of times I went to school with a sore head begs to differ,” Hailie teased.

But your mom was definitely right, she was much more gentle than Hailie. Before you knew it, your hair was finished and you were ready to get married.

You stood to look at yourself in the full length mirror. Your wedding dress was absolutely gorgeous, and Hailie had also done your makeup, with waterproof makeup luckily enough because you already felt like you were going to cry.

Your mom put her hands on your shoulder and smiled at you through the mirror. “My baby is growing up. Feels like just yesterday I was watching you walk for the first time.”

You put your hands over hers. “Please don’t cry, mom, I don’t want to start crying yet.”

“I know, I’m sorry honey. It’s just a very emotional da.”

You turned to face your mom, putting one arm around her and extending the other to Hailie. She stepped into your group hug and the three of you hugged each other.

“I’m so proud of you both,” your mom said, kissing your and Hailie’s foreheads.

A knock came at the door and as the three of you pulled apart, the door opened revealing your father in his suit. He looked you over and you could see the slight sadness and emotion in his eyes. “It’s time.”

Hailie hugged you once more before going to take her place as the Maid of Honor. As your mom went to leave, she paused next to your dad to look back at you. “We did good at raising some amazing daughters.”

Your dad smiled and gave your mom a hug before she went to take her seat. You were left with your dad. Neither of you really knew what to say. You were still trying to keep your tears at bay.

“I’m proud of you,” your dad finally said. “Even if I don’t like your husband to be.”

“You wouldn’t like him no matter who he was,” you teased. “But thank you dad.”

He extended an arm to you. “Let’s go before either of us start crying.”

You chuckled and took his arm. He led you down the stairs and to the end of the line of bridesmaids and groom’s men.

You and Colson had rented a sort of country club building, setting up the outside for the wedding ceremony and the inside for the reception. Your sisters were your bridesmaids, with Hailie being the Maid of Honor, and two of Colson’s crew, Rook and Slim, as his groom’s men and Pete as his Best Man. Casie was your flower girl and your youngest cousin, the son of your Uncle Nate, was your ringbearer.

You anxiously waited and felt your heart leap to your throat when the music began to play. One by one, the bridesmaids and groom’s men walked down the aisle, followed by Casie and your cousin. When it was finally your turn, you took a deep breath to try and calm your nerves.

“Don’t worry,” your dad assured you. “When you start walking down that aisle, the only person you’ll see is Colson.”

He was right. At first, as you started down the aisle, you were very aware of all the eyes on your, until you locked eyes with Colson, then it was as if everyone else disappeared.

He looked so handsome in his tux, and he was smiling through the tears of happiness on his face. Finally, the tears started to fall down your own face, and you were definitely grateful for the waterproof makeup.

Before passing you to Colson, your dad gave you another hug and a kiss on your forehead. You smiled at him before turning to Colson.

“You look beautiful,” Colson breathed.

“And you look handsome,” you responded.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the priest started, “we are gathered here today to celebrate the love between Colson Baker and (Y/N) Mathers. Before we get to their vows, is there anyone here who objects to this holy matrimony?”

There’s at least one person here who could, you thought to yourself, eyeing your dad briefly. But you knew that, even if your dad still wasn’t a fan of Colson, he saw how happy you were with him, and he didn’t want to get in the way of that.

“Now, you two have written your own vows, correct?”

You both nodded and looked at each other expectantly, causing yourselves and the audience to chuckle. Colson gestured to you, allowing you to go first.

“I, (Y/N) Mathers, promise to be your biggest fan. I promise to be by your side through the long nights of writing and recording, to always be waiting for you to come home after a long tour, to hype you up at all hours of the day. I promise to always love and to always be there for you, until the end of time.”

Colson squeezed your hands, more tears starting to fall down his face. “And I, Colson Baker, promise to be the best husband I can be. I promise to treat you like the queen that you are, to constantly call you while I’m away to the point where you’ll probably just turn off your phone to get rid of me - ” You giggled at this. “ - to make you feel like the most special girl to ever live, because to me, you are.”

You fought the urge to wipe the tears from your face, knowing you’d smudge your makeup if you did. Through tears, you managed to choke out, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Colson responded.

“May we have the rings?” the priest asked.

Your Uncle Nate nudged your cousin, who approached with the rings. Colson took yours first and positioned it in front of your finger.

“Do you, Colson Baker, take (Y/N) Mathers to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?”

“I do.”

Colson slid the ring onto your finger. You smiled at him as you took his ring and held it in front of his finger.

“And do you, (Y/N) Mathers, take Colson Baker to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?”

“I do.”

You slid the ring onto Colson’s finger. You held hands again and turned back to the priest.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

Colson wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you and kissing you deeply as your guests applauded and cheered.

And just like that, you became Mrs. Baker.

~~~~~~

After a few pictures, the dinner and cake, and some embarrassing stories from both your family and Colson’s, it was time for the dances. Colson went first, dancing with an old family friend that basically raised him like a mother. While planning the wedding, both of you debated on even sending an invite to Colson’s mom. You knew he didn’t have a great relationship with her and had barley talked to her in years, so you decided it would be best if she didn’t attend. At first, you wanted to skip over the father-daughter/mother-son dances and just have the official first dance, but Colson insisted on keeping to that tradition, if nothing else.

Once their song was over, it was announced that it was yours and your dad’s turn. Your dad led you to the dancefloor and put one hand on your waist, while holding the other. You began to sway back and forth to the music together.

“I can’t believe my baby is married,” he sighed. “And of all people, you really had to choose fucking Machine Gun Kelly.”

You chuckled. “I know, we’ve been over this a million times. I’m sorry I didn’t choose a guy that worships the ground you walk on, although Colson still does, he just likes to act tough.”

“No,” your dad said, shaking his head. “I don’t care about it being him. I mean, he still bothers the fuck out of me, but that’s just because he married my baby girl. I hate Hailie’s boyfriend just as much.” You laughed and shook your head. “You’re happy, (Y/N), and that’s all that matters. I wish I had known how severely unhappy you were all those years, and how my fame affected you.”

“There wasn't anything you could do, dad,” you assured him. “I’m a tough girl, you know that. I was able to handle it on my own, and I always will be able to handle it on my own. In a way, I’m glad most the guys I knew were assholes, staying away from them led me to the right guy after all.”

“Also an asshole.”

“Dad,” you playfully scolded.

Your dad chuckled and pulled you close to him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and rested your head against his shoulder.

“I’m so proud of you, (Y/N),” he said. “You’ve grown up into the most amazing young woman I always knew you’d be.”

You smiled through the tears that were starting to form again. Dammit! I just touched up my makeup, I knew that was going to be a mistake.

“I love you, dad,” you said, your voice soft.

“I love you, too, (Y/N).”

You were almost reluctant to pull away when the song ended, but you knew you couldn’t stay attached to your dad forever. Both literally and metaphorically, today was a day about letting go, you letting go of him and vice versa.

Colson stepped up as your dad stepped away, the bright smile on his face. He offered you his hand and asked, “May I have this dance, Mrs. Baker?”

You smiled back and responded, “Of course, Mr. Baker.”

The song you had both chosen for your first dance song began to play. Everyone was stood around, taking pictures and smiling at the two of you as you danced, but in that moment it was as if none of them existed. It was just you and Colson dancing together.

“Did you ever think we’d get here?” Colson asked as you rested your head against his chest. Even in your heels, you were nowhere close to reaching his height.

“At which point?” you asked. “When you sat down with me at the diner, or when we started dating?”

“Either,” he responded.

“To the first one, no. I actually didn’t even think we’d ever talk again, even after getting friendly and you left me your number. Part of me was sure you’d forget all about me.”

“How can I forget the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met?”

You cuddled closer to him. He always knew the right things to say. “To the second one, I don’t really knew. At the time that we started dating, I really didn’t know what to expect. Part of me thought it might just be a brief thing, that maybe the distance or the secrecy of it all would result in us breaking up. Then I thought it would last some time but I wasn’t sure exactly how long. I don’t know, I never thought about getting married ever, it just didn’t seem like an option to me.” You lifted your head to look at him. “What about you?”

“When we first met, I didn’t think we’d end up here exactly, but I did hope we’d be friends for a long time. I really liked you, I thought you were cute and funny and so headstrong. I just wanted to hang out with you, if nothing else. When we started dating, I hoped we’d get to this point. I’m not sure if I expected it to happen, but I always hoped it did.”

“Well, you got your wish.”

You leaned up to kiss him. He smiled into the kiss and paused from dancing long enough to cup your face. Even through your closed eyes, you could see the flash from the camera of the photographer you had hired. It was just an old friend of Colson’s who offered to take pictures at the wedding, but you both insisted on paying him for his time, even if he would’ve been invited to go anyways.

“You’ll have to get used to that,” Colson said. “Although, I guess you already are.”

“Not as much as you’d think. My sisters and I always managed to keep on the DL for most our lives,” you shrugged. “But I don’t mind all that much. As long as I get to show off my amazing husband one way or another, I’ll gladly welcome any pictures.”

Colson smiled. “Say that again.”

“Which part?”

“The part about me being your husband.”

You giggled and repeated, “Colson Baker, you’re the best husband a girl could ever ask for.”

“And you, (Y/N) Baker, are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

You both kissed once again as the music ended. You stood for some time, just lost in one another, before a more upbeat song started to play and more people joined the dancefloor.

You partied until midnight hit, and when it did you changed from your wedding dress into something more comfortable to make your way to the car that would be taking you to the airport. Colson had booked a special honeymoon for the two of you, but didn’t tell you where it was, only that you’d both be gone for some time. You sat next to him in the car and you both smiled at each other. Colson took hold of your hand and gave it a small squeeze.

The car began to drive as your friends and family waved goodbye to the two of you. Next stop, your happily ever after, with Colson as your loving husband.

The end!

Tags: @littlewhiterose @creatureofthen1ght-v3 @arugula-pigeon @keithseabrook27 @xxkellsvixen19xx @hnbtx @c-dizzle-swizzlex @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @whateverthefucklove @kellysimagines @idkbrooklyn @hannahmarie2016 @ratedrkohardychick91 @rosesinmars @painkillerash @kawennote09 @psychosozial @tapedeck-hearts @trash-bag-bitch @bloodorangemoon @jointhehunt67 @nepturn @theroyalbrownbarbie @jesylovesmusic @ripped-up-jeans-and-glitter @chokemebymyheartstrings @kolsprincess04 @polychr0matic @sataninsatin @harringtonstudios @oopsiedoopsie23 @anon-1121 @itjustkindofhappenedreally @iamlivthehuman @rumoured-whispers @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @ghostlyawesome1 @bakerkells @hxbbit @laceupkells @nowhereiswhereibelong @moonificantlou @crystalbaby12 @omgitstreeloo @jordangdelacruz @limerenze @estxxbritt @moonixto @colsondaddybakerxx @shadyraiam @gemini5991 @nevercameaready @whyisgmora @thelooneytoon @bolivianchickennugget @write-from-the-heart

Thank you all for your support throughout this series. You really don’t know what it means to me that so many of you were so dedicated to this story and you loved it so much. Honestly, when I started writing it I didn’t think it’d get any traction at all. I’m just as sad as you guys are that it came to an end, but I knew this was the way the story was going to go even when I started writing it.

However, don’t be too sad. Keep your eyes out in the coming weeks for another MGK series ;)

#machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #colson baker #colson baker imagine #colson baker x reader #mgk #estxx #series #part fourteen #series finale #final part #eminem #one shot #imagine

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cometcalloway · 3 years ago

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MUN AND MUSE QUESTIONS

List 5 of your muse’s favourite sensations.

A ‘sleeping in on a snow day’ level of comfort and safety

Winning

Acceptance, forgiveness, companionship

Magic healing

Novelty

Do they have any pet peeves?

Sparrow used to do occasional scribe work. I think if he was working on this one particular page & the parchment kept coming undone and trying to curl up no matter how many times he fixed it, that would destroy him psychologically a little. I feel like small annoyances can build into big things pretty quickly sometimes, with Sparrow, especially if he feels trapped in some way and doesn’t have the option to just remove himself from the situation & do something else.

Rook is like. Rather than being someone with a critical streak, it’s more that he’s a critic who has the occasional streak of another thing. He’s intentional enough to usually avoid believing his critical thoughts as fact in an automatic and unquestioning way, but his internal monologue definitely gives him a lot of information about things that ‘should’ be done better or differently. He’s the most harsh with himself, of course.

Their comfort read? (could be a book, magazine, comics, etc)

From an answer to an earlier meme:

Sparrow projects onto female characters in the absence of nonbinary characters that fit his vibe more exactly. Books and stories grab his attention when a female mc is powerful, wants things, and is maybe a little bit feral, even if she hides it well. She doesn’t have have noble morals, and she doesn’t have to win; there are tragedies he wouldn’t enjoy, but tragedies he very much would. He’s drawn by dark & intense themes bc like, he’s working through some things.

Rook likes history and nonfiction. He doesn’t like to introspect and thinks less naturally in terms of ‘like/want’ & more naturally in terms of function; nonfiction has a very clear and straightforward function. You read the book, you get the information. He would be in an uncomfortable position if he read a fiction book and felt moved by the story in a way that conflicted anything in his carefully constructed sense of identity (and he is not sentimental). He isn’t scared of fiction, but eh. There’s nothing in there he wants to get badly enough that it’s worth the mess.

If the book they are reading turns out to be shit, do they push through just for the sake of finishing it, or do they move on and find something else?

It depends on the book, and it depends on what in particular turned out to be shit. If something about the book is dramatically insulting to something Sparrow really cares about, he’s more likely to drop it than keep reading, either to try and enjoy it anyway or to hate read. If the book just isn’t that interesting or just isn’t that well written, he might keep reading just so he has closure on the investment he put into it. He likes to read, so he’s more likely to keep reading if he doesn’t have a lot of options. I feel like Rook might be the opposite? If a book he’s reading turns insulting he might just be like “hmm, we disagree (fortunately I am very large & near invincible)” and keep reading. If the book isn’t interesting, he isn’t sentimental enough to want to ‘pay the cost’ of learning what happens. Now I’m imagining a situation where Rook puts down a boring book & Sparrow picks it up bc they share a headspace & the book caught his interest just enough for him to want to know what happens (and then one day Rook gets sick of this shit & picks up the book & flips to the end & reads the ending).

Their comfort tv show / film

I think L.ilo & S.titch could be a comfort film for a verse where Sparrow is living in a modern setting. Stitch has to figure out how to be a person after being created to be a tool. As the entire galaxy goes nuts over Stitch’s prescribed identity as a purpose, and as all of the humans are quick to put new unflattering labels on Stitch, L.ilo is the one who gives Stitch permission to start to figure himself out. It’s like, the kind of story Sparrow needs to hear. Plus the painting backgrounds would remind Sparrow of home.

Rook wouldn’t consider something a comfort movie, but there are a lot of M.arvel movies he would like. Lot of stories about superheroes trying to figure out what it means to do the right thing in a complicated situation, and the tone is light enough for it to be a reassuring experience to watch the movie overall.

A song that is currently stuck in their head? (or multiple)

Mmmaybe C.ardigan by T.aylor S.wift. It’s not a song I associate with Sparrow because it’s about him in some way, but it is a song that he would probably decide that he likes, in the way people can like things without the thing being like, one of their theme songs.

The next three questions are for you. do you have anything special in common with your character.

All of my characters have deep things in common with me. Sparrow is deeply sensitive, spiritual, and has a strong personal commitment to not abusing power over other people. Rook is really critical, but he’s also committed to things he cares about. He gets nearly paralyzed sometimes by trying to figure out what he actually wants or what is actually good after considering everything he’s ‘supposed’ to want and how hard it would be to go against the ‘supposed to.’ Sparrow is more of a ‘looking forward’ kind of character, for what could be possible, Rook is a more ‘looking back’ kind of character, at the practical side of things and the messy reality and the question of how to make honorable choices in a reality like that. They’re both really important to me!

What brings you the most joy about writing this character, right now?

Writing L.othric and now Sparrow has been my invitation to myself to tolerate less of the intolerable. Sparrow isn’t an exact image of a person I literally want to be, but he has qualities that I write about bc I want to develop them better for myself through getting to know him. Right now in particular, I’m still carrying bittersweet joy about being able to breathe life into OCs after writing D.ark S.ouls characters for so long. Sometimes when I look through the rp tags I see rpers with H.arry P.otter muses who say they’re ‘anti jkr’, and I wish it was that easy for me to signal that I’m going to engage with a story I still feel things about, but I do not want to approach it as an enthusiastic fan. Ultimately, the OC route is just more valuable because I can own everything I come up with, so it’s a change for the better all things considered. But I wish that it wasn’t so normal for a story to be like, ‘the final boss is a disabled person who was bratty for not wanting to be abused, so hunt him for sport or whatever’ & then a fandom springs around that like ‘this is content! playful irreverence!’ to the point where talking about things more deeply feels like intruding.

Who would win in a fight, you or them?

Oh, them, definitely, Rook and Sparrow would win individually or working together.

Any advice from your muse?

I think he’d say that he’s a made up person, you’re a real person. If he seems powerful because he can do magic and he’s stubborn and makes these daring changes to his life, it’s nothing compared to the power that a real breathing person has. You can do more than him by picking up a leaf off the ground. I think he’d say that maybe it’s easy for people to forget that sometimes, when it comes to any fictional character who’s aspirational in some way.

Tagged by: @batteredoptimist (thanks!)

Tagging: @stxrmchild @chilledtouch @cloudpools @destruqtivist @pleasemymel0dy @worthless-weight-in-gold ! and YOU

#long post #Ashes of Omelas | Characterization

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gimme-a-hand-scaevola · 4 years ago

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A review of the book The Rook by Daniel O’Malley that nobody ever asked for...

Ok so @chemcat92 recommended me this book and I listened to it on audiobook and I just... have a lot of thoughts. I haven’t read the sequel and I’m torn if I will. Having watched some AMVs of the show, it’s a hard pass. My review is going to be in three parts:

1. The plot

2. Wasted Potential - In General

3. Wasted Potential - Gestalt the Most Wasted Character Potential I’ve Read since Drizzt Do’Urden

Obviously spoilers under the cut.

Part 1: The Plot - i.e. I think Daniel discovered books four days before he started writing

Ok so... The plot of this book. It starts off STRONG I will give it that. Myfanwy Thomas wakes up in a rainy part surrounded by bodies wearing latex gloves and no memories. She soon discovers her previous self lost her memories but because she was organized and knew it was coming, she has eased new Myfanwy’s transition. She gets to choose to stay in her life through letters and then we get an easy way to give flashbacks. Anyway this part RULES.

Honestly, the book starts strong as hell. Myfanwy discovers she has supernatural powers over people’s nervous systems and is a trained bureaucrat for a supernatural wing of the government. This all runs sort of like a combination of Heroes and Harry Potter in the best way possible. And here is where we find the strongest part of the book: the superpowers.

We don’t have to look that far to find Heroes type shows or books where everyone has a special ability, so if you’re going to go that route, you’ve gotta bring it. And honestly, Daniel brings it. They powers are cool as hell, they’re inventive, they’re well bounded. I felt like I understood what people’s powers and limitations were. We were in a land with magic, but it never felt cheap. This is going to dovetail into my absolute RANT about Gestalt but give me a sec to get there.

Ok. So honestly I don’t even have any complaints until the third act. Act one gives us the set up, act two introduced the big bad the Grafters and so far so good. We’ve got good but elitist supernatural guys vs. bad but more egalitarian supernatural guys. We also know that it was someone in the supernatural org (it has a name but the name is so stupid I can’t spell it) that betrayed our protag and stole her memories and they’re still around and teamed up with the evil Grafters. Intrigue?? Don’t know who to trust???? Love it.

For some reason everyone is either old, or hot, or so inhuman it’s viscerally horrifying. Love this touch. Eleanor from the Good Place taught us that it’s totally free to imagine everyone in a story as super hot. And it is. So they’re all super hot. Love it. Good commitment, Daniel.

But then we get to Act three. So, this was a big swing on ol Danny’s part because a lot of the effect of this had to do with carrying out mystery. We’d built a lot of tension on the suspense Who Betrayed Myfanwy. So obviously it’s really important for me to be surprised or at least satisfied with who this is. (As an aside, I would have been ok with guessing correctly, I definitely don’t subscribe to surprise trumping cohesive plot). Ok. With that on paper... like... holy shit. What a stupid “reveal.”

So in part 1, like the first scene we get of old Myfanwy’s letters giving us context, she says that her apartment at work was inherited from a dude Conrad something that got promoted. And then she says it’s super badly decorated, and later we see it and this shit is straight out of Austin Powers, mirror over a round bed, The Whole Shebang. But she also says that this guy who otherwise is supposed to be very smooth and charismatic like... asks her about the decor.... every time they interact. Every Time They Interact. The second this was mentioned (WHICH IS AFTER WE KNOW SHE WAS BETRAYED) I'm like “oh ok so this guy bugged her room he’s the villain” and I only wasn’t sure because it was WAY too obvious.

But no. He’s the villain. He has a big reveal where he’s like “AND I BUGGED YOUR ROOM” and I'm like... well... yeah. Of course you did. But here’s the thing tho... Myfanwy’s like... WHOLE ASS JOB is planning covert ops. So... is she good at her job??? IS SHE????

But we also don’t actually show how characters are based on their actions, we are just told how they are. But we will circle back to that in the Gestalt part. That’s honestly the sum of my rant about the plot. It was nothing. It put all its eggs in the basket of the worst most boring reveal of all time. Daniel, I think you might just be boring.

Part 2: Wasted Potential - Everything but Gestalt who gets a special part to themselves.

The big sin of this book might just be too many good ideas. There’s a lot of characters, they all do cool stuff, but we have like 200 pages, so there wasn’t enough time to do anything with all these guys. I got lost about who was who like 80 times because they’re basically all sneaky hot magic guys. One of them smokes and is a soldier and he seems chill.

There’s a vampire and he gets a scene and a long intro that reads more like a wiki page. Like it was interesting but you would have lost NOTHING cutting him as a character except that he was cool. You never ever believe that he was the bad guy because it’s super well established in the Certified Back Story that he could give two shits about the politics of the humans. He’s there bc he’s an adorably young vampire who is very curious so his dad set him up as a powerful government agent as though it was enrolling him in a prep school. Love it, but again, we don’t.... need him around.

There’s a lady who can walk through dreams and I thought she was going to be important based on the fanfare of her introduction but then we forget about her basically entirely.

There’s a whole American wing that we also only see anything interesting about in side story. Basically the world building is really good. Like pretty superb to be honest. But it’s bracketing a story that is nothing so it makes even good characters seems really random. And that bring us to:

Part 3: My Darling, Gestalt. My Type. My Weakness. What a Sad Little Thing You Are (Also misogyny)

Alright... if the rest of this review wasn’t salty enough for you... let the salt begin. Gestalt. So named because of the word meaning larger than the sum of its parts. And so they were destined to be. And so they were most definitely not. So Gestalt’s whole thing is that they are one consciousness with four bodies. They can either control one body at a time and sort of shut the others down or they can control them all at once but that becomes harder if one of them requires more attention than another, like if one is in a fight.

Two twins (men), one fraternal brother, and a sister. If anyone is thinking “uhoh, only one girl, hmm can Daniel handle that? Seems like maybe some Smurfette style misogyny-lite is coming,” you would be wrong. Super wrong. Because it is not misogyny-lite. It’s aggressive Fight-Me-In-A-Perkins-Parking-Lot misogyny. So go fuck yourself, Dan.

Alright, so to number Gestalt’s sins.

1. Scrape off some of that intro mustard.

They’re introduced in the LONGEST fucking passage I’ve ever read telling me that this dude is hard to talk to and weird. Like, I’m in an urban fantasy book already, I'm all set. Also... bitch SHOW ME they’re weird. Like can I see some interactions that give me second hand embarrassment??? No. It is actually never uncomfortable to talk to Gestalt. I only know that because people are super fucking rude about them. But it is never earned. So I don’t feel sympathy when people are like “Oh noooo you have to spend a car ride with Gestalt? Ewwwww sorry.” I’m just like, “What’s your fucking problem? They seem fine.”

2. They’re supposed to be Bad At Planning but when??

Alright so there ARE times they’re bad at planning and we will GET TO THAT. But it’s only post-reveal like... what we are told during a monologue that they were dumb as shit. And that wasn’t even like not being good w/ details like it’s implied they are, it’s literally like doing dumb ass stuff. And it felt more like my bud Dan didn’t have a good handle on why stuff was dumb as rain than Gestalt being silly.

Also.... this is a stupid use of this sort of character. They’re dumb and bad at planning??? THEY’RE A JOINT CONSCIOUSNESS why would you waste that making them “Good at kicking ass.” ugh. Fine.

3. They get sidelined IMMEDIATELY

So a guy named Pumice Stone or Kettle or Lil boy Bad At This or something outs that Gestalt is working with the Grafters because he like.... wasn’t paying attention. It was boring. But anyway so they capture two of the bodies and then stop addressing Gestalt until the end. They have one weird scene where the protagonist like.... freaks them out but ok. Fine. Why is Gestalt so Yelly. Why are so many villains in this book yelly. Ew.

4. The REVEAL MONOLOGUE.

I know this is a long ass review already. But my Feelings Must be Heard. So in the end when Conrad surprises no one but “smart” Myfanwy that he was the bad guy, we also get a reveal from the surviving Gestalt bodies that:

a. There’s an incest baby

b. They’re afraid of death

c. They’re so phenomenally stupid I have lost all interest in them

So... this is where the misogyny comes in. I’ll note here that the only time we interact w/ Eliza, the special girl body, is when she takes a carried to Hogwarts the super secret magic school with Myfanwy and she doesn’t do anything except we get the internal note that she’s like... gained weight. This is the misogyny-lite we expect. (And no, Dan, you don't get any points bc a female character is the only pleased she got pudgy bc YOU wrote the female character so we’re all set there.)

And then we discover that the weird blonde (lol oh yeah they’re all hot blondes) baby that Conrad “Evil Austin Powers” British-Last-Name has with his weird wife is actually a Gestalt body that Eliza had after she boned down with her other body who is genetically a brother and consciously herself.

K. Ok. I have. Ok. Alright. Daniel. Ok.

SUBPART A: My Feelings about Gestalt: Oh Eliza, my darling, my dear, would that I could bring you Justice

So after Eliza is shot dead one of the interchangeable boy bodies of Gestalt yells at Myfanwy about how terrible that is bc it was the only body who could bear children so now THE HORROR they’ll die.

For god’s fucking sake Daniel O’Malley. What the fuck is your goddamn problem. You LITERALLY wrote a Smurfette Syndrome character who is only important because she can have babies. She is literally just there to be a baby-box. What the fuck. Get fucking wrecked. Thank GOD Starz cut your program and fuck the Aurealis Awards for giving you an award for this fucking book. But they’re a sci-fi award so this is probably super progressive for them. I was pleasantly annoyed by the basic nature of this book until this part. Now I am just done with your content. This was more overtly sexist that Supernatural. So... real swing and a miss.

ANYWAY FORTUNATELY this opens a whole new can of worms that I get to ruthlessly mock certified Basic Bitch Daniel O’Malley for.

SubPart 2: Gestalt Raises Interesting Philosophical Questions Daniel Isn’t Smart Enough to Address

So, remember, I would have cut this dude more slack if he didn’t do that to Eliza. Gestalt, to be honest, this whole review is dedicated to what you Could Have Been.

Interesting Questions or Comments We Could Have Asked:

Does having a baby being one of five of your bodies affect your consciousness? That thing doesn’t have object permanence? Is there like an intellectual cost to having another baby body? No, we don’t care. I think we just had there be a baby bc “Weird sister-sex” was as interesting as Daniel could get. Side Note: The obvious question of “lol haha lol is it incest or mAsTurBation is not going to be addressed here bc it is literally too boring to consider)

Does having a body who textually is said to have post-partum depression affect your joint consciousness? If not, why bring it up?? Bc she has “weird lady disease” is that why???

Are they....afraid of death????? Why didn’t you ever bring this up? Why have they showed only excitement at the prospect of very dangerous fights up to this point? Why are all four bodies in the field.

WHY ARE ALL FOUR BODIES IN THE FIELD. Ok so here is one of those points that is definitely stupid but stupid in a dumb as dirt way. If you were afraid to lose your baby-box body, why would you send her into battle?

Why didn’t they freeze a bunch of her eggs? In fact, why did she bear it at all? Why put your one female body that you only want for babies through that sort of danger? Canonically they all get paid an absurd amount and Gestalt is paid for each body, they can afford a surrogate.

Why let a weird dude who is at best contemptuous of you raise your baby body? Why wouldn’t you want to do that? Doesn’t that give him a huge amount of leverage over you?

Is the quality fo Gestalt’s form destined to decline if genetically they can only make more bodies by full genetic sibling offspring? Does that scare them? Again... does their physical brain affect their consciousness?

If so... maybe that would be a good reason for them to want to join up with the Grafters who are way ahead in genetic research and engineering.

ANYWAY Gestalt is sexist as shit and boring as hell and had SO MUCH WEIRD POTENTIAL.

In summary: It was definitely fun but Fuck you, Daniel O’Malley

#the rook #Daniel O'Malley #Myfanwy Thomas #Gestalt #Book review #the rook starz

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ma-sulevin · 5 years ago

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So, there won’t be a chapter next week because I’m going on a work retreat and won’t have time to publish it, BUT I love you all and we’re so close to the end I can almost taste it.

Pairing: Sharky Boshaw/Female Deputy Rating: E Warnings: Canon-typical violence, but nothing particularly explicit I don’t think Word Count: 6387, chapter twelve of fifteen (almost definitely this time).

Read it on AO3 instead and say nice things.

---

She wakes up slowly, each breath leaving her with a rattling noise, a sharp pain over her heart almost drowning out the ache in her shoulders and ribs. She doesn’t try to open her eyes. She can already tell that will hurt too. She just tries to regulate her breathing, counting slowly, inhale, exhale.

One, two, three.

She knows she's in the jail because of the smell, the distinctive scent of coffee and old linoleum penetrating even her cloudy sinuses. The sounds of people trying to live their regular lives around her, quiet but not quiet enough, make it too hard to go back to sleep even though she feels like she’s been run over by a car.

Maybe this is the end of it, finally.

Finally.

She makes herself open her eyes. The light stings, makes her want to close her eyes again, but she won’t let herself.

She’s not going to wallow.

She’s not going to fall into that trap.

She moves her legs first, pulling her knees up to her chest one at a time before twisting so she can let her feet fall to the floor. She heaves in several deep breaths, working up the courage and the strength to push herself up, and then she does. Her feet are on the floor, her hands white-knuckling the edge of her cot, her eyes closed again because her head is swimming.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…”

Sharky’s voice calms the tight ball of anxiety in her chest before he’s even in her space, but then he’s kneeling in front of her and cupping her chin in his big hands. She leans into his touch, smiling a little at his warmth.

“You okay?”

She thinks about it. “Mmm. Nope.”

She forces her eyes open so she can look at him, smiling a little just from being close to him. It takes her a second, but when her eyes focus she can see how fucking exhausted he looks. It’s like he hasn’t slept all night, or for like two days in a row — the shadows under his eyes are deeper than she’s ever seen them, the lines around his mouth more pronounced.

“You look like shit, babe.”

His frown deepens. “You scared the fuck outta me.” His voice is uncharacteristically quiet, serious, and she feels guilt creeping over her. “You wandered off and then you just dropped and wouldn’t wake up no matter what me’n Hurk did.”

His lower lip trembles and she surges forward without thinking, wrapping weak arms around his neck and pulling herself into his lap. He tumbles back, sitting down hard, but he wraps his arms around her waist and holds her as tight as he can. He buries his face in the crook of her neck and keeps talking but now she can’t make out the words he’s saying.

She just holds him, cups the back of his head with her fingers tangled in his hair, and squeezes her eyes closed against the tears that are threatening to fall. The fact that they’re sitting on the floor in the middle of the jail doesn’t even matter to her — she’s just happy she’s not in Faith’s clutches anymore.

Sharky turns his head a little so that his face is still mostly against her but his mouth is free. “I’ve never seen you die and remembered it later.”

She gasps, pain searing through her heart. “I didn’t die, baby.”

“Thought you did.”

His admission is a quiet mumble, honesty pouring out of him because it would never occur to him to lie about something like this. She squeezes him tighter, her tears finally escaping her control and dripping into his unruly hair. It’s more than she can take, this knowledge that he thought he lost her for good, that her luck (good or bad) had finally run out and left her to die for real.

He thought she left him.

He thought he was alone again.

She sucks in a deep breath, steels her emotions, forcibly stops her tears even though it makes her throat ache. “I wouldn’t do that to you,” she hisses, a promise she means down to her very bones even if she doesn’t know how she can keep it. “I wouldn’t.”

He grumbles something she can’t make out and then falls silent, content to simply hold her.

Somehow, for him, this is enough.

She loves him.

“I love you.”

He sits up finally, looks her in the eye. His are red-rimmed, bloodshot, utterly exhausted, but they crinkle at the corners when he smiles at her.

“I love you too.”

She smiles back and kisses him, just a chaste brushing of her lips against his, then she kisses him once more when he doesn’t open his eyes after she pulls away. This one lingers, just for a second more, and then she remembers who they are and where they are and pulls away to sit back up on the cot.

“Everything’s… okay?” she asks, voice tentative. Obviously what she saw was wrong if they’re just… talking in the jail, not hiding in a bunker or dead, but she has to be sure. “I mean, I just collapsed and you brought me back here and literally nothing else happened?”

Sharky hauls himself up and sits next to her, leaning over to rest his elbows on his knees. He stares at the dirty linoleum as he answers, “No? You expectin’ something?”

She shakes her head and then leans it against his shoulder. “Nah. Just… just making sure.”

He makes that same grumbling noise again. “Lying?”

Her breath catches in her throat, and she thinks about lying to him again… then, she changes her mind.

He deserves to know the truth.

“I just thought… um, I guess it was a bliss hallucination or something, but I thought…” She trails off, looking down into her lap as she tries to remember the details of what she saw. She remembers the feeling of peace, then of terror, and the absolute certainty that if she didn’t do what Joseph wanted… everyone would die. “Uh, I saw mushroom clouds, like we’d been attacked.”

Sharky reaches over and wraps one arm around her shoulders, pulling her over into his space. She moves with him, resting her head on his chest even though the position is a little awkward. He kisses the top of her head.

“Definitely nothin’ like that happened. Think they were just trying to scare you?” Sharky pitches his voice up like it’s a question, so Mattie nods against him. “Fucken bastards.”

Mattie giggles, surprised, then makes herself sit up under her own power to smile at him. He still looks like shit, but the tension has bled out of him a little, and he smiles back at her when he realizes that’s what she’s doing.

“Is there food here?”

Sharky perks up at the thought of being helpful, and he’s nodding at her even as he climbs to his feet. “Yeah, I’ll get you someth—”

Mattie grabs his arm and cuts him off mid-word as she pulls herself to her feet. She needs to stretch her legs, needs to look outside and make sure the air isn’t that awful radiation-green from her… not her vision. It wasn’t a vision. It was a hallucination, of some sort, that Faith… controls?

“We can go together,” Mattie says, instead of what she’s thinking, not letting Sharky argue with her this time either. “I need to see Whitehorse anyway.”

Sharky looks like he wants to protest, but he ends up just taking her hand after a minute and pulling her along behind him. There are a few other people laying down on other cots, but no one really talks to them. She gets one or two sympathetic looks, but that’s it. It’s reassuring, in a way, that no one looks like they’ve seen their fucking world obliterated in an explosion of terror.

Sharky pulls her past everyone else, not stopping to let her talk to anyone even if she wanted to, and she barely has time to look through the tiny, reinforced window in the outside door before he’s hauling her around the corner to the cell block where they’ve set up tables and chairs.

The sky looks blue.

No ash drifts past the window, not that she can see.

She relaxes until she turns forward and sees Whitehorse and Tracey standing side-by-side with Virgil, all three of them staring at her with varying levels of worry on their faces. Whitehorse looks the most upset, not at the fact that she’s holding hands with Sharky this time, but just at her.

She stares back at him and puts her hand over her heart where the pain from the shot is the sharpest.

He flinches. It’s a cold comfort.

“You scared the hell out of us, Rook,” he says, a grimace still twisting his face. Sharky’s fingers tighten on hers as he continues, “We weren’t sure if you’d wake up.”

She shrugs and pulls her fingers free of Sharky’s grip so she can sit down on one of the stools. She leans against the counter and puts her chin in her hands, smiling a little when she sees Sharky digging through a box of MREs to find one she’ll like.

The expression quickly disappears.

“You feelin’ alright?” Tracey asks, one hand on her hip and her eyes appraising. “Come out of the bliss too fast and you’re liable to scramble your brain.”

Mattie nods as she says, “Yeah, I’m fine. I thought there had been a terrorist attack, but Sharky said I was wrong.”

Whitehorse’s frown deepens, and Mattie smothers a laugh when his mustache twitches. “What kind of attack?”

“Does it matter?” she knows her voice is too sharp, knows she’s getting defensive, but she can’t stop it. “It was a hallucination.”

Whitehorse grimaces. “It matters what Faith Seed is trying to show you.”

Mattie sucks her teeth. “A bomb. A fucking nuclear holocaust. Fall’s End was destroyed, on fire, ash and radiation in the air, everyone was dead…” Sharky’s hand on the back of her head cuts her off, and she lets herself be drawn against his chest so she can hide the tears she hadn’t noticed before in his hoodie. He puts something on the table in front of her and then rubs her back, and she bites her tongue to keep herself from crying harder at the tender way he’s cradling her.

“Are you gonna arrest me if I tell you to give her some space?” Sharky’s voice is too high-pitched, showing his nerves, but he doesn’t let go of Mattie, and he doesn’t pull away from Whitehorse, and Mattie doesn’t think she could love him more if she tried.

Whitehorse sighs loud enough for Mattie to hear, and then he says, “You’re not bad, kid.”

Sharky flinches when Whitehorse pats his back; Mattie feels both the pat and the flinch with how closely she’s pressed to Sharky’s front, but she doesn’t move until she hears the door close behind them.

“I can’t believe people are staying here on purpose,” Sharky mutters. “I mean, I know it’s for protection an’ all, but every time I’ve been here, it’s been against my free will.”

Mattie giggles and wipes her cheeks dry with her sleeve.

“I'm just impressed you haven't been arrested since I moved here.” She offers him a little smile so he’ll know she’s just playing, and giggles again at the disgruntled expression on his face.

“I'll have you know I've gone longer without getting arrested,” he says, looking totally outraged. Mattie beams up at him and after just a second his ears tinge pink and he starts setting up one of the little flameless heaters from the MRE. “And, ‘sides, I was on probation anyway. I had to be on my best behavior.”

Once again Mattie finds herself marveling at the turn of events that brought her to this point, shaky and sick and pushing down false memories of nuclear annihilation to put her chin in her hand and croon, “Poor baby,” at her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend? She should probably ask.

For now, she enjoys the pink coloring his face and tries not to think about the bliss fields outside waiting for her.

---

Mattie’s fully aware she’s skirting the line of Claritin overdose, but she keeps popping pills as often as she dares and keeps a dirty handkerchief tied over her face to keep the worst of the pollen out of her face. Sharky hovers just at the edge of her line of sight, flamethrower at the ready, keeping up a steady stream of chatter with Hurk even though Mattie can’t work up the energy to respond. Boomer stays far ahead of them, somehow always leading them to the closest group of peggies.

It’s exhausting, trying to cover so much ground of the Henbane with her eyes watering and vision sparking at the edges when she breathes too deeply. She can’t even work up the energy to do more than offer a small smile when Sharky looks at her to see if she’s laughing at his jokes.

She can see it’s worrying him, that each time she doesn’t giggle makes the lines around his mouth deepen just that much more and his jokes get just that much louder. Hurk picks up on it, starts walking a little closer to her, veering close enough to give her a jostling nudge with his elbow every now and then, but she just can’t.

She can’t.

They go back to the Hot Springs Hotel and clear it out, searching it from top to bottom more thoroughly than strictly necessary. She feels like she’s missing something with every room that she searches. It’s like she’s looking at herself searching the hotel instead of looking at the contents of the overturned dressers and the abandoned suitcases. She’s even responding slower to faraway sounds, blinking at the sound of Sharky yelling “You’ve just been Boshaw-ed!” from across the grounds instead of smiling and realizing what it means.

It’s weird and she doesn’t like it and she can tell Sharky’s worried about her but she doesn’t know how to make him feel better about it. She just doesn’t.

One eye on her, they steal a car and Hurk drives them to their next location down the highway while Mattie stretches out on the backseat with her arm over her eyes.

Then they get out and start it all over again.

Hurk and Sharky are searching the recently-liberated brewery for beer the cult hasn’t destroyed when she hears yelling by the road. Boomer lifts his ears and starts to trot off in that direction, so she follows.

There’s a peggie standing in front of a bound, kneeling civilian. Mattie stares at them for too long, trying to hear over the blood rushing in her ears, trying to decide if this is truly happening or if it’s another hallucination sent from Faith.

She doesn’t see spots in her vision right now, but she didn’t last time either.

Boomer sits at her side and that doesn’t help her make up her mind either. She looks down at his cute little face (with one ear flipped inside out) and then she picks up a rock by his paw and throws it as hard as she can at the peggie.

If it’s a bliss hallucination, the rock will pass right through. If it’s not…

The rock hits the peggie in the temple and he falls back with a cry. The civilian flinches away, then pushes himself up to his feet so he can run away as the peggie unleashes a stream of words Mattie’s pretty sure aren’t Joseph-approved.

Boomer moves before she can figure out what to do next, leaping up and tearing out the peggie’s throat.

Mattie shakes off her stupor and follows at a jog, pistol in hand, and puts the peggie out of his misery.

The civilian is nowhere to be seen.

She’s still standing in the center of one of the lanes, staring down at the peggie, her gun clutched in her hands, when she hears Hurk shouting from back near the brewery’s entrance. She stands up straight and turns toward the noise, but it feels almost like she’s swimming, all her senses on a three-second delay.

She sees Sharky first, barreling toward her at full speed, his hat and weapons gone, and she doesn’t have time to do anything before he rams into her, wrapping his arms around her torso and lifting her with the sheer force of his momentum.

It knocks the wind out of her, pushes her back out of the way of the oncoming semi-truck. From the other lane, she watches as it flashes by, painted peggie-white, the ugly cross on the door taunting her as she gasps for air in Sharky’s bruising grip.

Neither of them speak for several seconds, several long seconds where she can see Hurk trudging across the brewery’s yard. He stops and picks up Sharky’s hat where it must have fallen off, and then her attention snaps back to Sharky as he moves his grip to her shoulders to hold her away from him.

“Mattie, what the fuck?”

“Wh-what?”

He shakes her, and it’s like it clears up some of the fog that’s been following her around since she woke up in the jail. She looks at him, really looks at him, at the bags under his wild eyes and his windswept, sweaty hair, and she can’t think of anything to say.

“You can’t just wander off! You gotta pay attention! What are you thinking?” A little shake punctuates each of his sentences, and she feels sweat breaking out on her skin as tears spring to her eyes. “That truck almost hit you!”

“I woulda been fine.”

The words are out before she can think about them, before she can think about how Sharky will react to that attitude from her again, and he drops her before he can shake her again. She rocks back on her heels, reaches for him because she can’t bear to stand on her own now, and he lets her tangle her fingers in his hoodie without moving away.

“I don’t wanna fuckin’ see that,” he says, voice too loud. Behind him, Hurk is slowly drawing closer, not quite aware yet that they’re fighting. “If you’re too bliss-sick to see peggies coming at you, we’ll go back to the jail so you can sleep it off.”

“It’s not bliss, I’m fine, I’m just… I’m so tired, Sharky,” she tugs on his hoodie so he won’t interrupt her, won’t stop her from saying what she needs to say so he can insist on returning to the jail. “I can’t stop — Faith has Burke, Joseph still has control of the County. If I wait, people die for good.”

“What happens when you get hit by a car and just break both your legs?” He grabs her arms again but doesn’t shake her, just holds her still. “Who’s gonna die if you don’t pay attention?”

“I’m sorry,” she starts, leaning her weight against him so he’ll have to hold her up, and he does, but Hurk interrupts them before she has a chance to say anything else.

“Dep, you scared the shit outta us!”

Sharky doesn’t look away from Mattie’s face, but she looks around him to meet Hurk’s gaze. He’s smiling, trying to calm her, but he looks nearly as worried as Sharky was.

“I didn’t mean to.”

Hurk shrugs, closes the distance between them and pulls her out of Sharky’s grasp with gentle fingers. Sharky lets her go, and she releases his hoodie, and Hurk tugs them behind him as he heads back to the brewery.

“Didn’t nobody tell you to look both ways before you cross the street? You’re a cop!”

She laughs, but she doesn’t mean it. She thinks the boys know that too.

Sharky’s right, though. If she runs herself ragged and just gets seriously injured, something more than the scratches and clean wounds she’s had so far, she won’t be able to rescue Burke or kill Faith or kill Joseph.

“I’m sorry,” she says, again, and each man squeezes the hand they’re holding.

“Listen, Sharky’s my baby cousin, and long as you’re with him, you’re my family too, okay? And I don’t know where you’re from, but we take care of family ‘round here.”

She doesn’t have a hand free to wipe her face, but she tries to dry her cheeks with her shoulder. Sharky squeezes her hand again, and she squeezes it back, and she lets them park her in a chair in the brewery’s office while they go looking for a cot for her to sleep on.

She’s asleep before they come back.

---

She wakes up feeling stiff and dehydrated, but more alert, alone on the cot in the brewery’s office. She finds a half-empty water cooler and drinks right out of the faucet, bent over and twisted around because finding a cup is too much work. It makes her feel less like she’s just slept for eighteen hours after pushing herself to the brink of exhaustion and more like she’s in the process of switching from night shift back to days, and this is a level of tired she can work with without accidentally putting herself or Sharky in danger.

She finds the boys together, both still sound asleep, in the brewery’s break room. There’s about a dozen empty bottles on the table, and Hurk is snoring on his back on the larger of two couches while Sharky’s contorted to fit his long legs on the loveseat.

She climbs on the cushions with him even though there’s no way they’ll both fit, and he contorts himself more to make room for her before he even wakes up all the way. When he finally comes to, it’s because she’s tucked her head under his chin and worked her hands up under his hoodie to press against the warmth of his stomach.

“I’m sorry, baby.” She starts apologizing in a whisper as soon as she’s sure he’ll understand her words through the haze of sleep. “I have to take better care of myself. I didn’t mean to scare you. Thank you for taking care of me.”

Sharky doesn’t respond right away, just takes a deep breath and then lets it out all at once. Mattie holds her breath and bites her tongue, not sure if he’s going to scold her again or if he’s still angry, but then he’s squeezing her body tighter against his and kissing the top of her head.

“You just scared the shit outta me, s’all,” he mutters, words nearly disappearing into her hair. “I thought that truck was gonna really hurt you.”

“I know,” she says, tilting her head up to press the words against his throat. “I’m sorry.”

He grumbles and squeezes her tighter. “Don’t do it again, okay? I’d miss you if you up’n left now.”

“Okay.”

“Now that y’all got that all worked out, can we get breakfast? I’m starving.”

Mattie giggles at Hurk’s words even as Sharky heaves a dramatic sigh, burrowing closer to him instead of giving in and getting up. “I think it’s your turn to cook, Hurk.”

The couch groans as Hurk heaves himself upright. “Alright, I get it. You want some alone time. You got ten minutes.”

Mattie’s still giggling when the door to the break room shuts behind Hurk, and then she shrieks when Sharky twists them around to put her between his body and the couch. He curls around her, tucking his head under her chin instead in a mirror image of how they had been before, and she wraps arms and legs around him to hold him as tight as possible.

It’s quiet, and it’s intimate, and she hates that it took all of this hell for them to find each other.

She hates it.

They deserve more than this.

---

Jessop Conservatory isn’t that far from the brewery, closer to the jail but on the opposite side of the river. Hurk pulls over down the street without being told so they can sneak in, grumbling about how Hope County is like having a war zone outside his house. A shadow passes over his face as he says it, and Mattie wonders once again just how much truth is his stories of the Rook Islands and Kyrat.

Peggies are swarming the Jessop’s old place, higher-ranking members supervising angels as they work with rows and rows of bliss plants growing in containers around the yard. Mattie pulls her handkerchief up higher over her face, covering her already running nose, and winks at Sharky when she catches his gaze.

“You ready for this, shorty?”

He’s uncharacteristically serious, fiddling with his shotgun shells, not quite looking at her now that he’s checked in with her, like he’s not really sure what her answer’s gonna be.

Honestly, with all the bliss pollen in the air, she’s not a hundred percent sure of her answer either.

“Yeah, babe,” she says, answering with confidence she doesn’t really feel. “It’s all good. It’s just the plants, not the oil. You and Hurk burn as many of them as you can without setting the house on fire, and I’ll take care of the peggies when they start getting too close. Deal?”

Sharky brightens at that, turning to face her fully, and she smiles back at him even though he can only see her eyes.

“You ready, Hurky?”

Hurk hefts his RAT-4 higher on his shoulders and flashes them both a grin.

“Ready.”

The peggies are so distracted by Sharky and Hurk that no one notices Mattie dashing in to yank the wires out of their radios, even when she trips over an angel and has to break its neck to keep it from screaming and alerting everyone to her presence.

As far as the peggies are aware, the Drubman cousins have decided to really fuck up their day totally independently of the Sinner everyone's supposed to be looking for.

She climbs onto the roof of one of the sheds and uses her rifle to pick off peggie stragglers, thinning the crowd for the boys. She can hear them cheering and laughing over the din of battle, more keeping each other's spirits high than really rejoicing in the carnage, and she smiles to herself as she scopes out her next target.

She really stumbled into some good ones out here. Jess and Grace might have helped her take this place without making a peep about it, but who looks out for her like Sharky? Who keeps her distracted from aches and pains like Hurk?

She leaves the boys in charge of burning the rest of the bliss plants while she heads inside.

It’s deathly quiet inside, even with Hurk and Sharky still wandering around outside, and the hairs on the back of her arms stand up as she walks through what used to be the nicest house in the county. There are dirty mattresses everywhere, Faith’s catchphrases painted in a shaky hand on the walls, notes and chemical formulas Mattie would never recognize in a million years scribbled on scraps of paper and post-it notes and directly on the walls.

Where are the Jessops now?

What would they think of what happened to their home?

The upstairs is a little better, but the clouds of pollen aren’t nearly as thick. She pulls her bandana down and takes a slow breath of the cleaner, cool air and sighs as the familiar stars start dancing around the edge of her vision.

This fucking sucks.

She replaces the bandana and sorts through the loose papers on the desk, looking for anything that might let her know where Faith’s base of operations is. This is obviously an important landmark for the cult, but so’s the Joseph statue and the Misery, and Faith isn’t working out of those locations either (probably — Mattie wouldn’t be wholly surprised if Faith literally worked in a giant statue of the cult leader).

She’s not entirely surprised when she hears footsteps on the stairs behind her, or the creaking of a floorboard to her right, but when she turns with a smile to greet Sharky…

“Welcome to the bliss.”

Another cloud of bliss hits her full in the face, clogs up her sinuses and infuriates her. She wants to lunge for Faith and rip her hair out, but she's not in control of her own body. She can't make her hands work, can't make her legs push herself forward.

Sharky’s going to be so pissed if this is the dose of bliss that finally kills her.

She’s back in that stupid field, with the stupid rabbits that have the stupid antlers, but she can’t do anything but watch as Faith shoves at her shoulders, sweet veneer starting to crack to show the anger underneath. She might not be a Seed in blood, but she’s a Seed in every other way that matters, and Mattie thinks she’s able to snarl back when Faith starts to talk.

“Don’t you understand what we’re trying to build?” Faith shoves her again, not hard, but hard enough to push her back a good ten feet through the tickling grass.

It makes her ankles itch, even through her dirty jeans, and she wonders if that’s part of the bliss hallucination or just a reaction to the pollen. Maybe she really is allergic, and she’s just going to go anaphylactic and die before anything else can happen.

Mattie’s still looking at Faith across the field when she takes her hands and turns her around. Faith is there, behind her, still angry, almost pouting, and Mattie blinks in annoyance. Can’t she just move like a human person? Why does she have to flit around like this?

“Do you just not care?”

Nope. She tries to say it, but she can’t. Her mouth doesn’t work, and that just pisses her off more.

“Why do you run this way and that inflicting violence on those who wish no harm upon you?”

That’s the biggest load of bullshit Mattie’s heard recently, and she’d tell Faith if she could. She settles for thinking it.

Loudly.

“We’re at peace here. We’ve worked hard to be here.” Faith pulls her along behind her, then releases her and starts to skip. It’s an innocent, little-girl routine that would have worked on Mattie too one or two bliss hallucinations ago, or before she saw what happened to the Conservatory, but now?

“I know you have your doubts--” That’s a fuckin’ understatement-- “but this is the only way the story ends! Nothing you can do can change that. Your friends on the outside are controlled by fear. They don’t understand… but he does. He’ll show you.”

Faith points, and Mattie looks, and then Faith is there again to help her climb into a rowboat.

A rowboat with Burke.

Fuckin’ Burke.

He’s smiling at her, so happy, so blissful, and he’s speaking gently instead of snarling and swearing at anyone who gets too close, and she’s so surprised she sits on the bench across from him and just… listens.

He’s stained and dirty just like Staci and Joey were, but he doesn’t look like he cares about anything except for Faith anymore.

“I know you’re here to take me back,” he says, and she’s at least able to nod at him as Faith’s hold on her loosens. “It’s okay. She knows. Everybody knows. You think you’re doing the right thing, you think I need to be rescued… but, I don’t. I don’t want to go back.”

He sighs and smiles as some of Faith’s butterflies land on the bulletproof vest he’s still wearing. Mattie stares as they flutter their wings, wonders if she’ll ever be able to see a butterfly again without thinking about fucking Faith.

She’s so distracted by a hummingbird hovering in front of her face that she almost misses Burke’s next words, almost falls for the illusion that Faith is painting for them.

“Have you ever looked at how your life has really turned out?” he asks, words eerily reminiscent of how Jacob was taunting her just a few days ago. Dread turns in her belly, but she just blinks at him and waits for him to finish parroting Faith’s thoughts at her. “I mean… what you’ve actually done with it, you know? We’re told we can be anything, right?” Wrong. “Um, a famous singer, a Hall-of-Famer, a movie star… we’re all gonna be a success, Rook.”

They’re still moving down the river, but he’s stopped rowing. He’s just gripping the oars in his hands and staring her down, like he can talk her into doing something just by the sheer intensity of his stare.

That might have worked before, that definitely worked when he came swaggering into Hope County with his fucking federal warrant and his fucking Marshal’s badge, but now?

Absolutely fucking not.

“Well now,” he chuckles, he fucking laughs, “that’s just not true.” He starts rowing again, apparently unconcerned with where they’re going, not even looking at her anymore in favor of admiring the green-tinged world around them. “We live mundane lives, just doing what somebody else tells us to do. Day after day… Everybody thinks they’ve got free will, but, c’mon, when’s the last time you did something that wasn’t required?”

And… okay, he almost has her there. Almost everything she’s been doing since the failed raid on the compound has been because she had to do it, because someone told her to or because no one else would. She wouldn’t have voluntarily killed the Seeds, or voluntarily raided their bunkers alone, or ventured out into the Henbane to even look for Burke -- she did those things because she had to.

But… she’s doing other things because she wants to. She’s spending time with Sharky, she’s falling in love, she’s building a new family from people she didn’t know would see her like that.

She wants those things.

She wants the love and the family so bad it hurts, and yet she’s putting those things at risk to fucking find Burke of all people? Burke who doesn’t even want to be rescued? Burke who’s actively working against her?

God fucking damn it.

“--we don’t live our own lives. We live theirs.” He’s staring at her again so intensely she doesn’t know what to do about it, so she just clenches her jaw and stares right back. “And when we think we have free will, well that is just a lie, an illusion. Ah, oh man, I am so done with that. I am done with being a Yes Man. I am done with being an errand boy, and I am done with being the garbage collector. I am so done.”

He pushes the oars aside and rests his elbows on his knees, looking away, and when he looks back at her, she can see tears in his eyes and hear the tremble in his voice. He must have been so miserable before Faith found him.

Mattie doesn’t fucking care.

“Because… if that is real life, then what is the point? This place gave me the chance to become something I thought I could never be: happy.” The boat runs up on the shore, and the butterflies fly away. Burke smiles at her, palms pressed together, then gets up and climbs out of the boat.

He turns back to her, smiles a little, and adds, “And in the end, Rook… isn’t that the only thing that really matters? Happiness?”

He presses his palms together and does a little bow, then wanders off, picking flowers as he goes.

No one comes to move her. Faith doesn’t pop up to tug her along or to plead with her. No bombs go off, Joseph doesn’t show off his chest, and she’s just… sitting there.

She blinks.

She stands up.

“Burke?”

Her voice works.

Her body works.

She climbs out of the boat and takes off after Burke at the fastest run she can manage with the bliss still in her mind and making sparks dance at the corners of her eyes. Her shoes are soaked, her feet sink into the mud, and she can practically hear Whitehorse telling her to rescue Burke as she pushes through waist-high grass.

She’s close enough to tackle him when it occurs to her she might be about to pounce on a bear, or off the edge of a cliff, or into the river.

She doesn’t care enough to stop.

She lunges, grabbing Burke around his knees and pushing him forward. He falls forward with a cry and her vision starts to go white as she hauls herself up his body to get his arms tied behind his back.

She can hear Faith from far away, furious, desperate.

She doesn’t care.

She finally got him.

Finally.

---

This time, she wakes up to Tracey checking her pupils with a flashlight nearly too big for the purpose, sore and nauseated with a pounding head, and she doesn’t feel afraid. She doesn’t think the world has ended or that the world is going to end, she doesn’t have the icky feeling of dread crawling over her skin.

“You’re doin’ great,” Tracey says, and Mattie smiles up at her for the half-second they have before Burke starts to lose his shit in the next cot.

Tracey jumps to help Whitehorse, and then Sharky’s in Mattie’s space, looking as haggard and worn out as he had the last time she returned from Faith’s grasp. He puts his body between her and the fight, carding his fingers through her hair and holding all her attention even as the other scene gets louder.

White sparks dance around him as the last of the bliss leaves her system, make him look like something straight out of a romance novel. He looks pretty like this, all dark hair and blue eyes and deep laugh lines, worried about her like she’s the most important thing in the whole world.

He smiles as she stares at him, not even flinching as Tracey and Whitehorse start yelling at each other behind him.

“You’re real pretty too, shorty. I’m glad you’re okay.”

#sharky boshaw #sharky x deputy #hurk drubman jr #far cry 5 #oc: mattie covington

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frankensteined · 5 years ago

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DEPUTY ROXANNE BAILEY (made using this template, edited to add/remove some stuff like body temperature who needs that)

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: roxanne bailey (no middle name~) PRONUNCIATION: rox-ann bay-lee MEANING: roxanne means “dawn/dawn of day” or “bright, radiant one” (which i did not know until right now!) REASONING: she was named after her father’s baby sister, who passed away when she was four years old (her father had been eight at the time). NICKNAME(S): roxie, rox, deputy/dep, rook/rookie (by the entire hope county sheriff’s department), “kid” (by dutch), shorty (by unexpected bff sharky boshaw, though he, along with most of her allies, tend to stick with “roxie”), brosenkrantz (by hurk jr, after a very intense debate over which of them was brosenkrantz and which was guildenstern), Various Terms Of Endearment from adelaide (but she calls everyone by those names so it doesn’t really count) re: the seeds and how they address her: • jacob’s taken to condescendingly calling her “precious”. as in, he did not take her seriously at first, so her attempts at bravado when they first met were greeted with a patronizing “aw, that’s cute. that’s just...precious.” so now he calls her ‘precious’ instead of ‘deputy’ half the time and she hate hate hates it. • joseph has a way of saying her first name that somehow makes her feel like he’s the one that gave it to her, so she prefers him to use “deputy” as well. it makes her feel too exposed, otherwise. • it doesn’t matter what john calls her; it always sounds like he’s playing with the name like it’s a toy she can’t get back from him. • and faith asked during their first encounter if she could use ‘roxie’ for her “like we’re friends”, so even though that’s just her regular nickname, the way faith uses it always feels a little like a trap. or an invitation. roxie isn’t sure which is worse, especially since she isn’t entirely sure that it isn’t both.

PREFERRED NAME(S): “just...anything but what the seeds call me. or the way they call me. ..you know what i mean.” BIRTH DATE: april 10, 1987 AGE: 31 (circa fc5 time, set in 2018) ZODIAC: aries GENDER: female PRONOUNS: she/her ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: biromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual NATIONALITY: american CURRENT LOCATION: hell hope county, montana LIVING CONDITIONS: UHHHHHH....currently not. awesome??? (”occasionally, i’ll find a house that hasn’t been riddled with bullet holes that i can rest in for a couple of hours? that’s fancy.”) often crashes either in fall’s end or nick rye’s house, but will catch a few hours of sleep at various locations that she’s helped liberate when she’s not in that area. nothing has become a sort of “home” for her yet, though. pretty much, as soon as she finds a place with a working shower she’ll plop down for a bit to recuperate and then moves on. likes to talk/joke about moving into the seed ranch now that it’s out of john’s hands, but also worries that if she does that he’ll harm hudson worse than he already has, out of revenge (so for now it’s just stops there to do laundry and shower and that’s probably pushing her luck enough). TITLE(S): junior dep-yoo-tee with the hope county sheriff’s department

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: america HOMETOWN: gunnison, colorado SOCIAL CLASS: lower-middle class EDUCATION LEVEL: high school graduate; was attending columbia unversity on a scholarship (studying psychology), but didn’t complete her program FATHER: jameson “jim” bailey -- owner of a local hardware store in gunnison MOTHER: elizabeth “liza” bailey (nee wright) -- high school art/music teacher SIBLING(S): none BIRTH ORDER: only child! CHILDREN: hahahaha no PET(S): she grew up with a bunch of cats and no dogs, though she desperately wanted one. currently, her parents have four cats back home: ginger, roy, caesar, and bunny. in hope county, she has boomer (which is why she got so attached to him so quickly). there’s also cheeseburger and peaches, but they’re....not really pets, exactly (even if she pets them all the time) OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: lloyd bailey (paternal uncle, lives in missoula, montana), richard bailey (paternal grandfather, lives in flathead county, montana), sarah wright (maternal grandmother, lives in gunnison, colorado) PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: michael lennon; ex-fiance. (he insisted on going by “len” which, now that she’s long out of that relationship, she jokes “should have been my first red flag that we weren’t going to last”. gets roasted pretty regularly by her friends in hope county over it after they find out: “your judgment’s been pretty good so far, but then again: you were gonna marry some dude who wanted people to call him len...so...”, etc) ARRESTS?: nope! PRISON TIME?: ...not unless you could the literal cage that jacob’s kept her in~ DETAILED BACKGROUND:

• her father, jim, was born and raised in flathead county; he was the middle child, with an older brother and a younger sister, but lost his sister to an accident when she was four years old. he and his older brother became inseparable, and on his twenty-first birthday they set off on a roadtrip around the country, just to see what else was out there

• her mother was born out of wedlock to a woman who “found god” after she discovered that she was pregnant and was subsequently abandoned by her lover; liza wright never knew who her father was, as her mother refused to tell her, but she was assured that she was considered a gift, rather than a punishment.

• jim and liza met when the brothers ventured through gunnison while on their trip; initially, it was lloyd who was interested in her, but jim’s soft-hearted demeanor was much more appealing in the face of his brother’s louder presence, and lloyd bowed out graciously. it quickly became a whirlwind romance, but liza called it off once he started talking about just staying in gunnison instead of completing his trip. jim told her he’d be back once he was done, but she didn’t believe him. she should have; he returned that fall, hoping she hadn’t moved on. she hadn’t. they resumed their romance, much to her mother’s displeasure, and were married the following spring (also to her mother’s displeasure)

• jim got work at the local hardware store, while liza began her career of teaching at the local high school. she’d planned on just teaching one subject, but due to a series of administrative mishaps she took on an additional role as the music teacher as well. within a year, though, she discovered that she was pregnant. they hadn’t planned on having kids so soon, but there was no helping it. jim ended up taking over the store, while liza worked until she couldn’t anymore. their daughter was born the next spring; they named her in honor of jim’s baby sister

• roxanne was a healthy, happy baby, but her parents were finally beginning to come down from their whirlwind relationship, and began to worry about money more and more. they did their very best, and they loved their daughter, but roxanne grew up thinking that it was normal that her father was only around for dinner time at 6 pm, and that he was in bed by 8 o’clock. she grew up thinking that it was normal for mothers to stay up late into the night with work, so she’d need to put herself to bed from the earliest age she could. she grew up entertaining herself, but needing to be quiet about it, lest she wake her father, or interrupt her mother’s grading or lesson planning.

• she grew up lonely. roxanne has very vivid memories of sitting on the school steps, watching parents picking up their children one by one, and having to wait until well after everyone else had gone home before one of hers remembered to get her. she remembers being embarrassed as her teachers had to sit and wait with her, and she remembers being in third grade and deciding to try to just walk home on her own; naturally, she got lost, and was found crying on a corner by the sheriff. after he drove her home, arrangements were made for her grandmother to begin picking her up and keeping her at her house until one of her parents were done work

• sarah wright might have disapproved in her daughter’s choice of career, her choice of husband, and her choice in her granddaughter’s name (she had been hoping that liza would have at least given roxanne her name as a middle name!), but she wasn’t a cruel person, and she tried her best to make her home accommodating for her increasingly moody granddaughter. roxie would later go on to recall how her grandmother would refrain from bludgeoning her with “too much church talk”, but she would make comments such as “i’ve been praying for you lately, because i know you aren’t doing it for yourself”, and other such things that would sour her on faith in general, but she shrugs it off by adding “at least i wasn’t alone all the time”. it was her grandmother who suggested she try some sort of physical activity to get her frustrations out, and she enrolled her in dance lessons, which roxanne would stick with for much of her adolescence.

• by middle school, roxanne’s moodiness had given way to real, proper anger. she was angry at her father for always being at work instead of spending time with her. she was angry with her mother for prioritizing other people’s children over her own. she was angry with her teachers for innocent infractions, such as not realizing that casually suggesting that her parents could help her with her homework felt like the equivalent to open mockery to her. eventually, the anger turned into acting out, which eventually landed her in a chair opposite a children’s counselor; here, she’d actually begin to voice these issues, which delivered a much needed wake up call to her parents. they began to seek out ways to better balance their lives, and roxanne began to realize that she rather enjoyed being able to see where her anger was stemming from, and see where it was going. it was her first brush with understanding psychology, and that redirected her focus towards the subject once she hit high school.

• speaking of which, things improved by the time she entered high school. it helped that she was now seeing her mother regularly in school, and she got a part time job as a waitress in the diner across the street from her father’s store so she could see him on his breaks, but beyond that she simply...had a place to put her energy now. more accurately: her goal was to get out of gunnison, and to study psychology. everything else seemed to fall into a strange, but welcome place in the background. her family began taking yearly trips to visit her uncle and grandparents in montana, where they would go hiking and camping, and her uncle would introduce her to bird watching. those trips became some of her fondest memories

• she worked her ass off in high school, academically-speaking, in order to have a shot at a scholarship. her mother’s position definitely helped her to at least get the audience she needed to apply for one, but roxie somehow, miraculously, managed to get one to her top school of choice mostly through her own merit. she left for columbia university, and while she was feeling wildly out of her depth there, she managed to attract a small bunch of (much more well-off) friends who saw her as a “project”. it wasn’t a flattering comparison, but by this point she had come to attach herself to anyone who actively appeared to choose her over others, and so she was inducted into their numbers and it shielded her from getting too in over her head, financially and emotionally

• one member of that social circle was michael lennon, a bio-med student, son of a senator, asked that everyone just refer to him as “len”, who, for reasons she still doesn’t understand, decided that he needed to pursue her. he was far from her type, and she turned him down initially to focus on her classes, but that only increased his interest. despite herself, roxanne was flattered by the attention, even if he was self-important. eventually, they began dating, whereupon he introduced her to things like galas (which she hated), yachts (which she hated), and how to fly his own, personal, two-seater plane (ridiculous...but she kind of enjoyed that). eventually, he asked her to marry him, and, again, for reasons she still doesn’t understand, she accepted his proposal. (...it was because it was the ultimate “i choose you” display. that’s the reason, even if she doesn’t want to acknowledge that)

• back home, her father’s struggles with money only increased, and her mother returned to throwing herself into her work at the school. it became the perfect storm needed for a man by the name of “cal jethrow” to waltz on in and offer jim help, only to turn around and con him out of everything. jim had thought that he was going to expand his business, and that could keep him afloat, but by the time that cal vanished (with his fakey-fake name), he was left with nothing. as soon as roxanne had all the details, she was already on a flight back home. her parents had told her not to return, but she ignored them. len had told her not to go, but she ignored him. her return home was bittersweet, but she was in a better position than any of them were to dig her heels in and try to help her parents back on their feet

• len told her that if she stayed, their engagement was off. with a detachment that really should have tipped her off to how little she actually loved him, roxie replied “then it’s off.” he then went on and told her to hold onto the ring “for when she came back around” (because he’s a jackass). she turned around and pawned it as soon as she got off the phone with him, so her father could keep the store running for the next month. with her life firmly turned on its head, she began looking for work that would help her help her parents, and found herself facing that same sheriff that had helped her all those years ago. she was trained up, and joined the ranks of the sheriff’s department as soon as possible.

• eventually, financial matters smoothed, somewhat, but issues between jim and liza only worsened. their relationship, which had never exactly been on anything other than shaky legs to begin with, had been strained to the point of fraying. they were forced to admit that they were struggling during another trip to montana, after jim’s mother’s passing, and roxie, attempting to keep her own anger in check, asked them what she could do to help beyond what she’d already done for them. they admitted that they were blaming themselves, and each other, for her returning home, so she suggested that she just stay in montana, with her uncle lloyd, for a while in order to give them space to figure their own shit out (direct quote). so, that’s what she did.

• her uncle was (self-appointedly) tasked with helping her find a job in montana, initially in missoula, where he lived, but he heard from an old friend, earl whitehorse, out in hope county, that he was looking for a new deputy. lloyd and his niece debated the position, with him filling her in on hope county’s history, and the cult that was operating within it, framing it as nothing she couldn’t handle, given her psychology background. “you think i can, what, deprogram people in a cult?” she asked. “christ, no! you just won’t get scared from it, is all i’m sayin’! anyways, those seeds are keeping to themselves, so i hear. you probably won’t even see them very often. it’ll be breaking up barfights and handling domestics, just like you’re used to!” she considered her uncle’s sales pitch. “alright,” she shrugged. “give your buddy a call. what’s the worst that can happen?”

• freshly relocated to hope county, roxie found herself immediately taking a liking to sheriff whitehorse, as well a fellow deputies joey hudson and staci pratt. they welcomed her with genuine warmth, taking it upon themselves to give her rides to work, as well as good-natured hazing (referring to her exclusively as “rook” when it wasn’t just ‘rookie’, and teasing her when she decided to wear the nickname as a badge of honor, since she already was a bit of a dork as far as bird knowledge went). by the time us marshal cameron burke appeared, tasking them all to accompany him in his arrest of joseph seed, pratt and hudson had delivered her one last prank: they’d had her uniform shirt ordered with the name “rook” on it instead of “bailey”. roxie found it hilarious, but nancy, the dispatcher, assured her that she’d already placed a new order for a proper uniform shirt for her. roxie dramatically thanked her for being the only person to have her back. (*sad trombone noises*)

• on the way over to the compound, while on the helicopter, roxie was checking her phone for the briefest of refreshers on the project at eden’s gate. her mother attempted to call her, but she dismissed it, intending to call back later than night, after the arrest was done and they’d all gone home.

• and. well. ....here we are. (note: at the time that i’m writing this, roxie’s sitting just shy of full resistance points in all three territories, but she’s yet to confront any of the heralds in their final encounters yet. so, that’s where i’ll be imagining her at for the most part, because it’s a fun dynamic to be playing around with, in terms of her relationships with all the other characters)

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: does “deputy with the HCSD” even mean anything anymore? she isn’t exactly getting paid right now... SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: ummm...selling pelts? TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: UMMM....looting peggies? APPROXIMATE AMOUNT PER YEAR: $Who, cares, about, money, right, now. ?? CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: “...y’know...i think my job could be better these days...” PAST JOB(S): waitress, deputy with the gunnison county sheriff department SPENDING HABITS: she’s actually always been pretty frugal, but given her current situation she’s more willing to part with funds for the sake of better supplies (or clothing). mostly, her response has been “why are you making me pay for this when i’m helping--no. you know what? fine. just give me the keys to the helicopter.” (Capitalism Never Sleeps, roxanne) MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: a necklace with a gold wishbone pendant; her mother gave it to her when she was leaving for university, “for luck”. it has since absolutely gone missing thanks to the nightmare that is her current life in hope county, but she doesn’t know when she lost it. could have been when john had her in his bunker and he was prepping her for confession. could have been when she was being dragged into a cage at jacob’s behest. could have been while she was wandering around in some bliss-fueled hallucination. she doesn’t know, it does upset her, and, yes, she’s taking it as a sign that her luck’s running out.

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: 7/10 (she’s stronger than she looks and has decent enough upper arm strength to pull herself up ledges and ropes without struggling, but she’s also not going to win any brawls unless she ends up with an unexpected advantage) OFFENSE: 6/10 (knows how to fight, But Would Prefer Not To) DEFENSE: 8/10 (knows how to defend herself And Prefers That Very Much Actually) SPEED: 8/10 (outruns a lot of chosen in their helicopters. pisses them off. pisses the seeds off. feels good. ♥) INTELLIGENCE: 7/10 (she was a good student and has a good enough head on her shoulders, but generally isn’t too above average outside of her preferred interests) ACCURACY: depends on her condition 8/10 (generally, pretty good! she hates it!) AGILITY: 8/10 (can successfully walk in a straight line and run without tripping, can dance well, but has also slipped off a dock and fallen into the water while trying to be sneaky, so...) STAMINA: 5/10 (running on fumes most of the time these days, but still does just enough to keep going!) TEAMWORK: 9/10 (she prefers to work with others! the only times that she tries to go it alone is either if she thinks a situation is going to be too dangerous for them, or if she’s experienced something especially upsetting. she can quickly get called out of that funk by someone simply reaching out to her, however, so all in all she’s a really good team player) TALENTS: ignoring the practical skills she is honing during this ordeal (ie: picking locks), she has a stupid amount of knowledge about birds and how to get by in the woods, thanks to her uncle. she’s also a fairly skilled dancer (she was absolutely That Person who went out to clubs to actually just dance when she was in university), but generally just prefers to dance like an idiot to relieve stress. she’s a little bit crafty, too, thanks to her mother’s background in the arts, but her talents are limited to making non-fancy jewelry (though she will friendship bracelet the hell out of someone if given the chance) SHORTCOMINGS: not so great with melee weapons/hand to hand sorts of situations and has been knocked on her ass too many times to count. she’s also not super wild on heights, so every time she needs to climb something high her heart’s firmly lodged in her throat. LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english is the only language she speaks fluently, alas DRIVE?: she’s a great driver! [footage not found] JUMP-STAR A CAR?: she can get it eventually, but definitely not on the first try. luckily, she travels with much more competent car-lifters :’) CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: if she has to but there are so many abandoned vehicles everywhere is it really worth it when you can just take a new one? RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes! SWIM?: yep, and she’s had to do a lot of it lately, unfortunately. she’s always in need of dry socks :( PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: her mom tried to get her into playing instruments when she was younger, and she can pluck away at guitars well enough, but she never stuck with anything long enough to get really good at it PLAY CHESS?: hahahahahahaha no. BRAID HAIR?: yeah, but she can’t remember the last time she’s braided anyone’s hair (including her own) TIE A TIE?: yep! PICK A LOCK?: heck yes that was the second or third perk i unlocked for her

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: krysten ritter EYE COLOR: hazel HAIR COLOR: black HAIR TYPE/STYLE: shoulder length, straight. ties it back when it’s hot out. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: thankfully unneeded (though she will wear sunglasses if she finds a cool pair) DOMINANT HAND: right handed HEIGHT: 5′9″ WEIGHT: 130 lbs BUILD: slight EXERCISE HABITS: running and hiding and climbing and crouching and swimming and absolutely none of it is done for fun :) SKIN TONE: fair TATTOOS: none yet PEIRCINGS: she has her ears pierced once in each ear, but nothing more fun than that MARKS/SCARS: she’s absolutely covered in scars across her torso/arms/back/legs these days (or, if they aren’t scars already, they’re definitely going to be once they’ve healed up properly!). by far her most concerning scar is the one on her neck that came from a wolf attack, uncomfortably close to a spot that’d have been pretty fatal if she’d been less fortunate. she’s also got a burn scar on her upper left arm thanks to being too close to sharky being sharky (she doesn’t blame him, though. honest accident!) USUAL EXPRESSION: lately it’s been like this when it comes to seeing what an epic shitstorm she’s landed herself in, but prior to this she was much more relaxed and oftentimes open, if not downright playful, with others. that side still shines through when she’s with her friends in hope county, but it’s getting harder and harder to feel that way the worse and worse it gets. still, she’s trying to keep it together. CLOTHING STYLE: currently she’s stomping around in a tank top, jeans, combat boots, and a hat on, but even before coming here she was always a pretty basic jeans/t-shirt type of person. doesn’t get too attached to clothing these days, because it always gets damaged if not literally torn off her JEWELRY: the aforementioned necklace that’s gone missing, as well as some larger rings that she’s found in abandoned houses throughout the county that she keeps on to add extra insult to any punch she might need to deliver. ALLERGIES: n/a DIET: ironically, she eats fresher food now than she did before coming here. her current diet mostly consists of whatever gets hunted/fished up and whatever canned foods she finds in prepper stashes around the county, though now that the resistance has reclaimed a number of farms she’s been able to enjoy more variety. is gonna storm john’s bunker for a chocolate bar someday, though, seriously PHYSICAL AILMENTS: just...basically perpetually injured at this point. always at least a little Fucked Up

PSYCHOLOGY

JUNG TYPE: i took three different tests to see and in two of them she got the “hero/champion” archetype, so that’s what she is (as much as it pains her) MBTI: ENFP ENNEAGRAM TYPE: six “the skeptic” MORAL ALIGNMENT: neutral good TEMPERAMENT: choleric ELEMENT: fire PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: interpersonal/intrapersonal MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: she was neglected for much of her early upbringing, and with that came issues involving anger and attachment. while she was in a much healthier place recently, some of those issues are resurfacing as she’s feeling more and more pressure from dealing with This Mess SOCIABILITY: prior to all of this, roxanne was slow to engage with others, but quick to befriend and trust them if they showed her an equal level of enthusiasm towards her. that’s essentially still the case, and she certainly excels when she’s in groups of people, but she’s becoming obviously more withdrawn and jumpy, finding it hard to accept praise or to feel like others are being honest with her when they thank her. but she still thrives off of that validation, so she keeps herself surrounded by other people as often as possible. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: L O L it’s all over the fucking place these days. she has a hard time controlling her anger, but on the flip side she’s also become even more fiercely affectionate and protective towards her friends. some days, she will swallow back every feeling she has, and the next she might end up crying over any little thing. her emotional state is kind of like sharky’s homemade, duct tape reinforced flamethrower: it’s holding together, but you’re always gonna be a little worried that it’s gonna blow up and take out everyone around it under the wrong circumstances. OBSESSION(S): for the sake of keeping sane, she’s 100% thrown herself into collecting the comics and bobbleheads and whatnot that she comes across. sometimes, roxie and her team will search a house that contains nothing but a baseball card for her collection and still consider it a success COMPULSION(S): she’s compelled to...break every tv set she comes across that’s broadcasting something she doesn’t want to see on it :) PHOBIA(S): shockingly, she’s developed an extreme fear of drowning! wonder where that came from. ADDICTION(S): she’s addicted to validation and having people choose her (going all the way back to her childhood, where her parents often did not prioritize her over others, despite their best efforts). this really, really isn’t something that she acknowledges in herself, but it does explain her responses to the accolades the people of hope county throw at her: even though she absolutely doesn’t think she deserves it, it keeps her going. she tells herself it’s because she has to keep going for them, and that’s true(!), but there’s a part of her that is sated in having others validate her. unfortunately, that also subconsciously influences her responses to the focus the cult has on her as well. DRUG USE: recreationally in her youth, but hasn’t done any for some time. (unless you count helping aaron kirby/tweak out once by being his guinea pig) ALCOHOL USE: occasionally; more so when stressed, though she tries to keep a clear head as often as possible. still, if it’s there, she’s gonna drink it. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: ........guilty.

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: she’s fairly blunt, but surprisingly playful even now. keeping a sense of glibness to her responses, hopefully, masks just how poorly she’s coping with all of this. it isn’t all a front, though: she does genuinely speak with levity when she’s with her friends, enjoying being able to banter and joke with them, because they bring out the best in her. she used to be much more mouthy towards her enemies, until she saw firsthand how her allies were faring in their clutches. now, she saves those kinds of comments for just the right level of tension. there’s no sense in antagonizing them verbally when they’re in a better position to hurt her friends than she is to save them.

ACCENT: american QUIRKS: • even before coming to hope county, she was someone you could count on to always have gum on her person, and that’s especially true now. she’ll use pieces of gum as a peace offering/extending of an olive branch to people who don’t quite trust her, figuring that even the grumpiest of people can be won over thanks to the promise of fresh breath these days. • she also tends to “ask permission” of her animal companions before doing something dumb or reckless. if cheeseburger didn’t say no, then it’s fine, right? NERVOUS TICKS: fidgeting and picking at her hangnails DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: • from the beginning, her main drive was to understand herself, which fortunately branched out to understanding others. that’s how she came to understand and make peace with her parents, it’s what made her able to harness her own negative emotions (...usually), and it’s what made her think that she’d fare okay in hope county in the first place. she’s still trying to understand these people, as much as she is trying to survive them. • she also, of course, wants a place to belong to. so much of what she grew up tolerating was in the name of being wanted and appreciated, and whenever she finds that it becomes dear to her, even if it isn’t necessarily a positive thing (ie: frickin’ len). thankfully, the friends she’s made here are quite happy to accept her into their numbers, so she doesn’t need to pull validation from elsewhere (even though...it’s out there, in some twisted form) • also, revenge? vengeance? not a positive goal, but!! it’s in there, simmering! FEARS: she fears so much lately it’s easier to list what she isn’t scared of, but obviously the biggest one is failing everyone that’s counting on her. it’s dying here. it’s her own mind, thanks to jacob. it’s joseph. but also, it’s turkeys, because those assholes are bloodthirsty. POSITIVE TRAITS: roxie is loyal to a fault, and absolutely fails any attempt she makes to turn her back on someone that she could help. she’s genuinely affectionate with her friends, and enjoys having inside jokes and opportunities to be silly with the people who like having her around, which, all in all, makes her a really good friend. she grew up without many of those, so she tries to be better than what she started with. NEGATIVE TRAITS: roxie’s prone to flashes of anger and tends to hold grudges because of it. it makes her somewhat vengeful (part of why she leaned toward law enforcement was because she liked to imagine taking down the guy who conned her dad), which can sometimes make her take risks she really shouldn’t. she has a stubborn streak that borders on foolishness at times, and that makes her unable to just walk away when it would be better for everyone involved. she also does not handle loneliness well at all.

also she’s been turned into a brainwashed attack dog whenever jacob plays his gd song SENSE OF HUMOR: her own brand of humor is pretty dry/sarcastic/it’s-a-defense-mechanism, but in the right company she’ll lean into being silly/absurd and goofing off a fair bit (traveling with sharky and hurk together really brings that side out the most often, though nick and adelaide can get that too. she at least tries to be more serious with grace and jess, but between the three of them she’s probably the most likely to goof off). roxie does find sharky and hurk’s nonsense genuinely hilarious about....85% of the time, and although adelaide’s style doesn’t match her own at all, it still cracks her up a lot of the time as well (in an incredulous way). DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: only when stressed :) which :) i mean... :) :) :)

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: dancing ♥ ANIMAL: birds (except turkeys. she knew true betrayal when a wild turkey first attacked her) BEVERAGE: no one believes her when she says this, but it’s really just any herbal tea! COLOR: the kind of deep orange you associate with autumn FOOD: blueberries! she likes blueberry flavoured anything. (least favourite: peas) FLOWER: peonies (least favourite is.....bliss flowers. obviously. but also roses, because she associates them with cheap apologies) GEM: citrine HOLIDAY: halloween! (all about that fall aesthetic) MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: cars, though she’s getting less rammy with big fuckoff trucks in hope county :) (least favourite is probably the quad because she. tends to crash them.) MOVIE: the wizard of oz (least favourite: moulin rouge, entirely because of “el tango de roxanne”. or, more specifically, how it influenced people to say her name for like five years after the movie came out) SCENERY: as shitty as her situation is, montana really is beautiful, and she appreciates a lot of the natural sights around when she’s moving from place to place SCENT: fresh laundry is always a good one, but she’ll be the first person to admit that a really nice cologne or perfume will turn her head quickly. it’s a weakness. (least favourite is....uh. the smell of burning bodies, which wasn’t something she’d ever expect to have firsthand experience with, but here we are.) SPORTS TEAM: “uh....go cougars?” WEATHER: the kind you get right before a storm is rolling in, though she’s also fond of a good ol’ thunderstorm as well. (least favourite is snowy anything. she does not enjoy winter) VACATION DESTINATION: ironically, it used to be camping in montana. now it’d be...literally anywhere but here.

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: being able to see her parents again GREATEST FEAR: “i just don’t want to die here.” MOST AT EASE WHEN: she’s taken to setting some time aside for herself to play with boomer, or to lounge against cheeseburger when there’s some precious downtime. sometimes peaches will come lay across her lap then, too, and there’s something really reassuring about having these apex predators just relaxing with her, knowing that they’ll keep her safe. also, the jukebox at the spread eagle often gets hijacked after really stressful days, and being able to dance for a bit without worrying about an airstrike or something interrupting does wonders for putting her at ease. sometimes, her friends will put the music on for her and force her to dance with them when she’s in an especially bad funk, and it’s hard to really stay up in her own head when she sees them go to that much trouble for her sake ♥ worth noting: most of this dancing is not, strictly speaking, good, but it is ridiculous and fun. (and that’s valid!) LEAST AT EASE WHEN: joseph seed is making very intense eye contact with her (which is the only way he seems to make eye contact with anybody, in his defense) WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: she literally can’t think of anything at this point that could make things worse for her, save a literal, actual apocalypse hahaha :( BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: retaking the hope county jail and saving sheriff whitehorse. having him back has been the first real sense of normalcy to return to her life, and was the push she needed to press on towards trying to locate and rescue hudson and pratt. BIGGEST REGRET: ...failing thus far to save either hudson or pratt. in joey’s case, roxie can sort of forgive herself, because she wasn’t in the absolute best position to be able to rescue her, but having been so close to her that she could see the tear tracks on her cheeks while john was wheeling her out of the room still weighs on roxie even now. she can’t stop to think about what she left hudson to deal with in there without feeling sick. in staci’s case, the feelings of regret and guilt are even worse because they’d come so close to being able to escape jacob together, but it was never enough. pratt had saved her, and he was left behind to suffer for it. she’s taken to smashing every tv she comes across that’s looping that video of him being left to die. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: probably this moment when she first met hurk. it was a Class Act. BIGGEST SECRET: the seeds get to her. they’re in her head, she can’t shake certain things that each of them have said to her, and it all really boils down to the fact that a part of her -not even a part that she wants to recognize or acknowledge - thrills at the attention they have fixed on her. that part of her that yearns to be a priority is grateful, in a twisted way, that she’s apparently worth more than just a bullet in the head to them. that’s the part of her that’s keeping her skirting between territories, rather than just finishing it with the heralds one by one. roxie doesn’t accept that that’s what’s happening to her, but if she’d just stop to really think about it...she’d see that it’s true. • despite the warnings, she can’t help but...wonder if maybe faith is actually sincere but has been manipulated. if maybe she could be reasoned with. she doubts it, but roxie has to admit that hearing faith’s accusatory “i thought you were different!” made her feel. well. bad. (roxie’s totally wrong about her, and she’s been warned against faith by loads of people, but. oops.) • she isn’t....not attracted to john. like. aesthetically. it’d be an absolutely terrible idea, she would hate herself if it happened, and she loudly rejected both sharky and adelaide’s observations on their dynamic, so she’s not even thinking about it, but. ...well, anyway. that’s one of those take-it-to-the-grave secrets so shh • out of all of them, despite what everyone else has done to her, the one that’s gotten to the her the most, the one that scares her the most, the one that’s seen through her the most, is joseph

TOP PRIORITIES: “stay alive, save my team, save my friends, save the rest of the county, if i can. stay alive some more, finish this, then sleep, for a long, long time.”

#deputy: roxanne #court vs far cry 5 #my characters #profile: roxie

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scarlettkat86 · 5 years ago

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Eyy, @fluttyseed, remember the stripper Sharky fic idea? Well I took it and did a little less funny and a little more steamy. Hope you enjoy. Also tagging @deaconmcsexypants and @jacobmybeloved for reading snippets, appreciate yall. Theres also stripper sharky edits at the end because I have no shame.

Characters: female dep/rook, brief Hurk Jr, Sharky Boshaw.

Word Count: 1584

Warnings: Um, its a stripper fic, so if steamy lap dances and sharky taking his clothes off aint your thing turn away now.

Notes: Sharky’s stagename is from a disco song of the same name by Boney M, and the song he chooses to dance to is Fire and Gold by Bobby Saint

"There is literally nothing to do in this town." Rook huffed, slouching down into the couch. "What's there to do other then betting on which local a start a fight down at the Spread Eagle?"

Hurk Jr. takes a seat beside her, shotgunning a beer before he answers. "Well amigo, we can always get wasted and let the pigs loose at the Woodsons farm. Think I could ride 'em like one of those fancy rodeo cowboys!?"

Rook laughs at the image but shakes her head. "No way dude. Last time you and Sharky blew up a silo and set a barn on fire when i took yall cow tippin." She leans over putting an arm around Hurks shoulder. "Speaking of Sharky, where is he? Does he still think I'm gonna arrest him, cause that was just a joke."

Hurk jumps up from the couch, knocking over a few beer cans from the side table and points an acquisitive finger in her face. "You was serious that day man! I ain't ever seen someone ticked off as you was. If he hadn't of saved your ass from that bull man, you'd have taken us both in!"

Rook stifles a laugh before pushing his hand from her face. "That'd make me an accessory to a list of crimes I'd rather not admit to being a part of." She sees his face twist with amusement, then he flicks her nose.

"Dang, you know what. Bonafide disaster of a cop cause you're always aiding our criminal adventures, but you're the best damn friend I ever had." He rubs his thumb along his goatee then says, "I tell you what. I'll let you in on where Sharkys at, but you've gotta sweeten the deal for me brobafet."

"You insult me, then insist I sweeten the deal, seriously?"

"I'm deadly serious, like a ninja. I ain't blind and I know what you're gonna see tonight will be far more better then anythin' you could imagine. Now, what I want is simple. I wanna use your jeep while you visit Sharky at his new job. That's it."

After a few stipulations, Rook drove the 40 minutes to the next town over. "That's it!" Hurk yelled. A neon sign read, 'The Swinging Sirloin Bar'.

"You mean to tell me I drove nearly a hour to pound a few back in some sleezy bar?!" She says squinting her eyes at Hurk.

"Whoa whoa whoa. That's somethin' I don't need to know. Now a deal's a deal amigo." Hurk says with his ears covered. She's confused, nothing she said should make him cringe like that. Rook stepped out of the jeep and he took over the driver's seat.

"I'll see ya tomorrow amigo, dont worry Sharky won't mind riding you. Shit, what I meant was giving you a ride. In his car. Oh hell, just...bye!" He stammers and flies out of the parking lot.

That was...odd. Opening the door to the bar, everything suddenly makes sense as her ears are assaulted by women hollering and catcalling. She sees a stage with a semi naked man gyrating on a random woman seated on stage. To her right is a hallway with multiple doors, and to the left is the bar. She makes her way over, taking a seat at the end furthest from stage. Her cheeks flush, not for the sight in the room, but because she thought this was a hole in the wall bar. That serves steak. Not a strip club.

The bartender makes his way over. "The names Seth. What can I get you beautiful?"

Rook shrugs her shoulders, "Whiskey sour I guess. I'm here to see a friend, maybe you can point me to him? Goes by Sharky."

The man behind the counter slides her drink to her. "Only know stage names and faces, got a description?"

There's a loud commotion center stage, the man on stage now had his head up the back side of the random womans skirt, seemingly motorboating her ass. Rook curses, horrified but unable to look away. "Do uh, do all your dancers get so, hands on?"

Seth raises an eyebrow. "Well now, are you curious to find out, or jealous the friend your crushing on feels up on all the ladies in the same way?"

Rook snaps her head back around glaring daggers at the bartender. "What! How did you, I mean no. I'm not... jealous." She folds her arms across her chest. "I'm-Oh. Oh my God, he's a stripper?" She pulls her phone from her jeans and shows his picture to Seth.

"Crushing on Daddy Cool? His no touch rule drives the women crazy." Rook chokes on her drink, spewing it all over the counter.

"He's got time for a private dance. Or you can wait for his shift to end." He laughs pouring her another drink and wiping up the mess. "But if you wait, some other woman will probably take his last dance."

That's how Rook found herself sitting on a questionable leather couch in a dimly lit room, waiting.

Ten minutes felt like an eternity, before she finally heard the door open. She resists the urge to turn around and face him when he starts speaking.

"First things first, I got a couple ground rules. One, no touching unless you have my consent, two, hav-" Sharky stops dead in his tracks when he finally comes face to face with his customer. He twists the owl ring on his left finger, opening and closing his mouth before finding his voice again. "Uh, he-hey shorty. What uh, how-why are you here?"

Rook stretches her arms out, relaxing into the couch. "Well isn't it obvious? I've been missing you lately. Now I know why you've been gone."

"I ain't been avoiding you if that's what you're thinkin'. Just need extra cash, and well with my record'n all..."

"Well I've got plenty of extra cash."

"Hell dep, I can't ask for your money, I-"

Laughter bubbled up from Rook, catching him off guard. She stood up, placing her hand on his shoulder, whispering in his ear. "I don't want you to ask. I wanna see your skills, Daddy Cool." She watches as he pulls out his phone, unsure if he's actually gonna strip. Maybe it was the way she purred his stage name in his ear, maybe it was part of his act, but the next thing she knew, he's carrying her to a chair in the center of the room. Music she's never heard before starts playing and Sharky starts circling her. It's an odd song choice, she's beginning to think he's joking but then his hand reaches from behind and wraps around her neck, the other tracing her shoulder and chest. His lips graze her ear, "Remember, no touching."

The song slows to a sensual beat and he's rolling his hips in sync with the rhythm. He slides across the floor, hands on her knees, pushing her legs apart. Her breath catches in her throat when he slides his hips between her legs, grinding against her. He leans back enough to pull the white tshirt off, wrapping it around her shoulders before running his hands down his chest. She slips her hands down his back feeling his muscles contract with each roll of his hips. Suddenly he's moving away from her, a playful smirk tugging the corners of his mouth. "Shame dep. I had one rule and you've already gone'n broke it." He sways his hips, thumbs tucked behind the waist of his jeans. "Maybe I should go?"

Rook is flustered, what she thought was going to be hilarious, is actually turning her on more than she wants to admit. She turns her head to the side, clearing her throat. "No. Don't- don't stop." She hates how desperate that came out.

Sharky nods his head, sliding his hands to the button on his jeans. He bites his lip as he pops the button open, turning his back to her, moving his body until they drop to the floor. Sharky looks back over his shoulder and slaps his ass. Rook giggles at the sight, though the orange thong actually looks like sin on him, then he's striding her way. He puts one leg up on the arm of the chair and takes her ponytail, pulling it free, grabbing fistfuls of loose hair.

He starts singing with the music "I need it, jesus. Burn baby burn." Pulling her head to his waist and snapping his hips. She can't resist the urge to grab his thighs, and he makes no move to stop her this time. Her cheeks are hot as his erection brushes against her chin. He pulls her head back, leaving kisses along her jaw and neck as he slides his body back down. Instinctively she wraps her legs around his hips. Sharky cups her ass, picking her up, and begins rocking against her. The music stops but neither of them seem to notice. Rook smashes her lips to his, all teeth and tongue. She pulls away as she realizes she's just kissed him. He gently lowers her back to her feet, taking a few awkward steps back.

"I um, I don't know what came over me..I"

He shakes his head, "Shit dep I didn't mind whatever that was."

"I wasn't finished. I was gonna see if you wanted to take me back to your place, finish what you started here?"

"Hell yeah, but just so we're clear, you started this."

youtube

#sharky boshaw #female dep/rook #sharky boshaw x f!deputy #hurk drubman jr #fc5 #fc5 fanfic #my photo edit

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western-writer · 6 years ago

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What Must Be Done

A/N this doesn’t have a happy ending and it’s long. You have been warned. Enjoy!

Summary: Jacob Seed’s daughter betrayed him.

You remember seeing him when he first arrived at the Veterans Center. Who used to be Deputy Staci Pratt is now someone completely different. A part of you hurts for him, having been subjected to your father's torture in more ways than one. You never doubted the project or your family before Staci dropped into your life. Maybe it was because you found yourself falling for the broken man that you finally began to see how awful what your family was doing. Maybe you had known it all along but refused to see it until it affected someone you care for. Whatever it was that caused you to realize it had done its damage, and despite how much you love your father and uncles and Faith, watching what they did sickened you. You know there’s still good in them, you’ve seen it first hand, but their actions made them less than able to be humanized.

You hated the conflict inside you. The inability to choose what’s right over your own blood that took you in when you had no one else, despite barely knowing you, killed you. You did what you could to help, all while trying to stay loyal to your family. That’s when the feelings for Staci began to surface.

It didn’t take him long to confirm that he shared these feelings and thus start the forbidden romance. As the months passed and Staci became more and more trusted in your father’s eyes, he allowed him more freedom. Jacob would often send Staci with you as protection when none of the other soldiers could be spared and this soon became routine, not that either of you minded. It allowed more time for you two to be together, just the two of you. No father or followers breathing down your neck. For a while, you could both forget that a civil war was going on.

This day was no different than any other time this happened, except it was.

Your head rests lazily on Staci’s shoulder as he drives. The sun has been down for more than a while, yet neither of you cared. You had warned Jacob that your errand may take a while, but he dismissed you quickly, having other things taking his attention. You admire what stars you could, reveling in the feel of Staci’s hand on your leg. The act was simple, yet so comforting. The ride is silent but it’s a comfortable silence. That is until a loud explosion in front of the truck causes Staci to hit the break. You brace yourself against the dashboard with your hand as the truck screeches to a stop.

People surround the truck as the smoke clears, all pointing guns at you. Both doors open and you are pulled from your seat. The man that pulled you from the vehicle forces you to your knees and a gun connects to the back of your head. You fall forward, groaning, and you push yourself back up to your knees.

“Rook, what that fuck?” you hear Staci say.

“It’s a rescue, Pratt,” a male voice says. It’s too dark to see any faces, though you try.

“And you wanted to almost blow us up!?”

“It got you to stop, didn’t it?” a female voice responds.

You hear Staci grumble a bit and the male behind you speaks. “What you want done with this one?”

You know he’s talking about you.

“She is Jacob’s daughter, after all.”

You cringe at that statement. You hate how being related to him automatically criminalizes you.

“Get her to her feet,” the female voice says. Once you’re on your feet, she approaches you. Being able to actually see a few faces now, you recognize her as the Deputy. A male approaches you and you recognize him as Sheriff Whitehorse.

“Whaddya say, Rook? Whadda we do with her?” Whitehorse says.

At that, Staci storms forward and rips the hand off your arm, facing his coworker and boss.

“The only you’ll do with her is let her go,” he demands, wrapping his arm around you protectively.

“Pratt, are you fuckin’ crazy? She’s the enemy!” Rook says harshly.

You barely see the glare focused on you. “If any of you lay a finger on her, I won’t go with you and this would’ve been a waste.” The resolve in his voice unsettles you.

“Pratt, what’s going on here?” Whitehorse asks.

Staci says nothing as he uses his free hand to grab your face. He kisses you hard, showing his coworker and boss what exactly is going on here.

“Pratt, what the fuck?” Rook asks. “You’re involved with the enemy?”

Staci pulls away from and glares at Rook. “She isn’t the enemy. You haven’t seen her like I have so you have absolutely no place you say she is.” He looks back to you, and though you can’t see his eyes very well, you can tell she’s staring directly into yours. He turns back to Rook and Whitehorse. “I can’t go with you.”

“What!? Why not!?” Rook yells.

“Do you have any idea what Jacob will do if I don’t come back with her? It won’t matter that she’s his daughter.”

“Staci… wait…” you say softly. “There’s a way… there’s a way for you to leave without repercussions for me.”

As much as you want him to stay with you, you know it won’t be safe for him. Even if Jacob sort of trusts him now, that could change at any minute.

“(Y/n)...” he mutters.

“You know it isn’t safe for you, Staci… This is the only way you’ll be safe.”

You can sense his apprehension. “Whadda we need to do…?” he asks softly, knowing you’re right.

“Just… someone rough me up a bit. I can tell my dad that you turned and planned this. If I’m roughed up, he’ll believe it. I won’t be held accountable.”

After a bit of bickering, he finally agrees and it’s decided that Rook will deliver the blows. She stands in front of you.

“Are you sure about this, babe?” Staci asks you.

You chuckle a bit. “Jacob Seed is my dad. I can take a hit or two,” you answer softly.

Rook makes a fist and pulls it back, landing a hard blow to your jaw. She kicks your stomach and when you double over, she knees your face. It seems like she’s enjoying this just a bit too much when she finally pushes you back, signaling that she’s done. You can feel the blood dripping down your face and the bruises already forming.

“Go on,” you tell Staci as he kneels next to you. “Take the truck…” he leans down and kisses you once more before jumping into the truck with Rook in the passenger seat and driving away.

You wait about twenty minutes before pulling out your radio. You press the button and muster up the best hurt voice you can.

“Dad…” you cough.

Silence.

“Dad!” you shout.

“What!?” he yells back.

You make sure he can hear the ragged breath you inhale which is anything but fake at this point. Your ribs ache from the knee to them. “It’s Pratt…” you mutter, wiping the blood off your face.

“What about him?” He seems more annoyed than concerned so you decide to really sell it.

“It was a fucking set up, Dad!” you shout through the radio, no doubt making the sound on the other side horrible. “Some of the Resistance was waiting for us to grab Pratt. They beat me down and took the truck, too.”

“Fuck,” he growls. “Where are you?”

“I… I don’t know…” you answer truthfully. “Pratt was driving.”

“Fuck,” he growls again. “I’m calling Faith and John. I gettin’ everyone lookin’. It ain’t safe for you to be out there alone. Stay where you are.”

You sigh and drop your radio, sitting in the dirt for who knows how long. Headlights shine on your face and you look over, seeing a patrol truck slowing to a stop.

The guilt is overwhelming you. You know you did the right thing, but you also know if your father finds out what you did he’ll see you as a traitor. Blood or not, you’d be ostracized at best. Before you know it, you’re placed in the back of the truck between two followers.

“Are you okay, Miss?” the man on your right asks you.

You shake your head. “Just take me to my dad…”

The next few weeks are quiet as Jacob seethes at the loss of Pratt. You’ve healed quite well during this time, though you miss Staci greatly. Then, one day, Jacob calls you into his office.

“You need me?” you ask softly, peaking your head into the room. Jacob waves you in and you shut the door behind you. He doesn’t turn to face you.

“Why’d you do it?” His voice is calm and that scares you. A calm voice is more dangerous than his angry one.

“W-what?” you stutter.

“You…” his voice raises. “You know what I’m talkin’ about. Did you forget that I have cameras?”

He finally turns to you and his eyes blaze with a hidden fury. You’ve never seen him this angry, not at you.

“And-!” he starts, walking toward you. “Why him?”

You know exactly what he’s talking about. “How’d you even see that…?”

“It doesn’t matter how I saw it!” he yells. You shrink back at his tone. “Do you have any idea what Joseph will do when I tell him that you allowed my prisoner to go free?” You’re honestly surprised that he hasn’t done more than yell at you.

“Then don’t tell him.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

He glares at you, a cold, hard glare. “It doesn’t matter why.”

“Yes, it does!” you yell in response. “I swear, you love your brothers more than your own daughter! You are more loyal to them than you have ever been to me. All I did was keep someone I love from being hurt by another person I love, and here you are basically threatening me!” You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes. “You know what Joseph will do. You taught me to do what I think is right, but maybe I missed the part where you said ‘unless it doesn’t agree with what I’m trying to do’.”

“Pratt could leak important information about my operation! He could ruin all of this!”

“He wouldn’t and he won’t. Know why? Because he knows that would ruin me, too! We are hurting innocent people, Dad! I know you probably don’t care, but I do! I never once doubted you or Joseph or John or Faith, but I got to feel first hand what it's like to have someone you care about put through what you’re doing! It is literally tearing me apart being in the middle like this! Can’t you just stop and think about me as your daughter instead of one of your soldiers?”

Jacob’s glare never falters as his icy words hit your ears. “You’ve made your choice.”

Whatever hope you had at getting through to him is diminished at that statement. Fat tears roll down your face as you realize that your own father just sentenced you to your death. Words can’t express the amount of you’re feeling at this moment.

“Just like that? You can’t stop being a soldier for one second and be a goddamn father, hm?” You wipe the tears off your face with the back of your hand. “Did you ever even love me?”

Jacob doesn’t respond right away and you feel your heart drop. “This has to be done, (Y/n). You put the Project in danger.”

You choke back your sob and turn on your heel. “Thanks for nothing, Dad… Thanks for nothing.” You leave his office and go to your room, packing your things quickly. You’ll be damned if you just sit around and wait for your demise. After gathering the few articles of clothing you own and your few belongings, you leave through the back. You hope no one sees you as you make your getaway.

Only as the sun begins to set do you start to wonder where the hell you’re gonna go. You won’t be safe with anyone related to Eden’s Gate and you know the Resistance would jump at the chance to use you as leverage against Jacob. And you can’t even begin to think where Staci could be. He could be anywhere. You start to wonder if this was a good idea but realize it’s better than sitting around, waiting to die.

You spend the next few days hiding in abandoned buildings and slowing becoming more and more dehydrated as well as hungry. You found both along the way, but it hasn’t been enough. Your resolve starts to falter as you grow weaker. Eventually, you make it where we were trying to get to and are relieved to find food and water inside the bunker. This was the bunker Staci first kissed you in. Your resolve to stay away comes back as your strength does.

Sitting down on the couch, you pull your radio out.

“I don’t know if anyone is listening to this… but if you are and are in contact with Staci Pratt, tell him to meet me where we first kissed.”

Two days later you wake up to someone shaking you and open your eyes to find Staci staring down at you. You immediately lunge into his arm, trapping him in your own. You look over and see Rook standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“We couldn’t know if this was a setup,” she says to you once you release Staci.

“What? Why would I set you up?”

She shrugs. “Jacob radioed me and said you went missing. That you ran off. Then just a few hours later we heard your radio call. Seemed suspicious.”

You rub your face and sit up on the couch. “Yeah, well, what he probably didn’t mention was that he found out what I did and was gonna tell Joseph. He probably has people out looking for me already.”

“Really?” Rook asks you. “He’d do that to his own daughter?”

You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes again. “He said I made my choice. That it had to be done.” You sniffle a bit and feel Staci wrap his arm around you. You lean into him, only now realizing how much you missed him. You take a deep breath. “Thank you for coming.”

“You know,” Rook starts. “You can just come back with us. You don’t have to stay here.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “You think I can join the Resistance just like that? I know people would be more than happy to use me as leverage. I can’t take that chance.”

“You know we wouldn’t let anyone do anything to you,” Staci says.

You shake your head. “I know, I know, but I won’t be able to hide behind you forever! I won’t be able to handle being somewhere where everyone will never trust me.”

Staci stays with you inside the bunker. The time together is nice, but comes to an end when suddenly the bunker is flooded with followers. You wonder how they found you but then remember the cameras. The fucking cameras.

Three men grab you and attempt to take you up the stairs as you fight against them, screeching the whole time. You kick and flail your arms but you’re no match for the men, they were trained by your father after all. You can’t see what’s happening with Staci, but you can tell that they’re dragging him up the stairs, too.

“Put me down! Put me down!” you yell in vain. The soldier holding your right arm covers your mouth as they finish carrying you upstairs. They drop you on the ground at the feet of your family members. The force Staci to his knees next to you, holding a gun to his head.

“Come to kill me, then?” you say with more confidence than you feel.

“Do you just forget that I have cameras all over the hills?” Jacob asks you. You look away from his gaze, from both of their gazes. Joseph walks over to you, kneeling in front of you and grabbing your face to make you look at him.

“You poor lost lamb,” he muses. “Have you lost your way? Have you forgotten your place?”

“What even was my place? Mindless soldier? Daughter of the ruthless herald? I didn’t lose my way, Joseph. I didn’t forget my place. I never had one to begin with.”

There’s unspoken anger in his eyes, softened by his love for you. “I cannot blame you for being unable to resist the temptations of the flesh,” he mutters, glancing at Staci and then the bite mark on your neck. “especially given how young you are. But we cannot have you putting the Project at risk, can we? It looks like we’ll have to re-educate you.” Your eyes go wide as you glance at John and the sin scrawled across his chest. No doubt in your mind would that be done to you. Then you’d be given to Faith to ensure your obedience.

Your pleading eyes meet your uncle’s, then your father’s. His eyes remain cold. “Please… don’t…”

Joseph stands up with indifference in his eyes. “We will do what must be done.”

“Please don’t hurt him…” you whisper as you’re set on your feet.

Joseph gives you a nod. “No harm will come to the deputy.”

You manage to free yourself long enough to hug Staci. Joseph orders the follows to give you a minute with the lift of his finger.

“I’m sorry,” Staci whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

You hold on as tight as you can as you’re being pulled away. Your grip only lasts so long and you’re forced to let go. You’re dragged away from Staci and you know, deep down, that this will be the last time you ever see him again.

#deputy staci pratt #staci pratt #staci pratt x female reader #staci pratt x f!reader #jacob seed #jacob seed x female reader #jacob seed x f!reader #joseph seed #joseph seed x female reader #joseph seed x f!reader #jacob's daughter #jacob seed's daughter #angst

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flightandsurvival · 5 years ago

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Ayyyye.

General Womanhood

1. Do you like the color pink? I like a nice dusty rose.

2. How easily do you cry? It depends.

3. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad? When I’m sad I eat a lot of pastries.

4. How often do you experience boob sweat? Anytime that the humidity is over 40%.

5. What time of month is your time? I don’t have that anymore.

6. How moody are you when you are on your period? Not really.

7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? Nope.

8. Have you ever been on the pill? Currently. 9. Have you ever thought about having children someday? What is your current opinion? I think about it from time to time. I’m not sure if I will have children one day or not. 10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? Nope, and I’m not sure. 11. How much do you like decorating for holidays? I don’t like decorating. At all. 12. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? Mediocre. 13. What is your favorite thing to cook? Stir fry. 14. Do you prefer cooking, baking, or both equally? Baking. 15. Can you sew? I can. It’s not pretty though. 16. How feminine do you consider yourself? I’m female. I don’t know... I’m regularly feminine. 17. Have you ever been told that you are too girly or feminine? No. 18. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Yes, absolutely. 19. How do you define “girl power”? Women supporting women. 20. How much of a neat freak are you? Not really much of a neat freak at all. 21. How you ever wished you were born a male? Nope. 22. Breastfeeding or formula? Whatever is best for the person breastfeeding. 23. What is your opinion of equal pay? I think that anyone, regardless of sex, gender, ability, etc., doing the same job with the same quality should be paid the same wages. I also think that all wages should meet the cost of living inflation. 24. What is one profession you think needs more women? I think that every profession needs more women. Women are wonderful. 25. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? I am heavily pro-choice. 26. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. Yes. Usually in microaggressions, sometimes in overt ways that are disguised as “humor”. 27. Have you ever been called a blabbermouth or a chatterbox? Lol, no. I’m fairly quiet.

28. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? I’m not sure. This is a generalization I won’t make. 29. Is there anything you dislike about being a woman? No. 30. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I am a woman because ______. Women are magic.

LIFE EXPERIENCES:

31. Did you ever play with Barbie dolls as a child? Yup.

32. Have you ever dotted lowercase Js and Is with hearts or smiley faces? Probably hearts.

33. Have you ever been a Girl Scout? Nope.

34. Have you ever been a ballerina? Nope.

35. Have you ever been a cheerleader? Yes, my whole family was involved in cheerleading.

36. Were you ever voted as homecoming or prom queen? No.

37. Have you ever hosted a sleepover? Many times.

38. Do you belong to a sorority? Nope.

39. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal? I currently have a journal, good self-care.

40. At what age did you get your first period? 12.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

41. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Would you ever grow it that long again? I think the longest has been low back. It’s getting there and I have no intentions of cutting it at the moment.

42. Have you had a hairstyle above the eyebrows? I’ve had fringe. I’ve never had hair that short beyond the bald baby years.

43. What hairstyle do you wear the most? Loose.

44. Have you ever died your hair? If so, how often? Many times, many weird colors, and whenever I am feeling the need for change.

45. What is the heaviest you remember ever weighing? I’m truly at my heaviest now, 220lb.

46. How muscular are you? I’m fairly muscular. I’m a strong lady.

47. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your earlobes? I had my nipples, nose, and lip pierced. Right now it’s just my ears.

48. Do you have any tattoos? If you, where are they and what are they of? I’ve got a dragon (left shoulder blade), a dream catcher (low back), an unalome (nape), a lotus (sternum), and an elephant (left inner/upper arm).

49. Do you like wearing lipstick or lip gloss? If so, how often do you wear them? I love a little matte lipstick. I wear it almost everyday unless it’s Winter. In Winter the SAD takes over and I don’t give a fuck about putting on makeup.

50. How often do you paint your nails? Not often.

51. Have you ever worn any fake nails? Yup.

52. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? Yes.

53. How often do you shave or wax your legs? I shave my legs 2-3 times a week.

54. How white are your teeth? Fairly white.

55. Have you ever been told that you look like a certain celebrity? America Ferrera, Gina Rodriguez. Lol... I’m Chinese.

56. How much do you look like your mother? Not much, I spent a lot of my childhood with people asking me if I was adopted. I’m not.

57. How much do you look like your father? Very much so. We 100% look like father and daughter.

58. What do you think is your best physical feature? My skin. I have great skin. I also have great hair.

59. What do you think is your worst physical feature? My very fat upper arms. It makes it hard to find shirts that fit well.

60. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions? Fairly good.

FASHION STYLE: 61. What type of clothing do you own the most of? Workout leggings and t-shirts. 62. How big is your closet? Not big. 63. Have you ever looked through your closet and though “I have nothing to wear”? Literally always. 64. What is your favorite fashion brand? For Days, Torrid, Aerie. 65. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? Yes, regularly. 66. What is your dress size? Large, 14. 67. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? Finger tips. 68. How expensive was your prom dress? $500 69. What is the most expensive piece of clothing you currently own? I’m not sure. 70. Do you wear high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often? I will not ever wear stilettos, but I definitely wear heels on the regular. 71. Have you ever worn high heels casually? Yes. 72. How often do you take an OOTD (outfit of the day) selfie? Not often enough. 73. Have you ever worn the exact same outfit from head to toe more than once? Yes. 74. How often do you wear a bra when out in public? Nearly always. 75. How often do you wear a bra when bumming it at home? Rarely. 76. When you get home from work, how soon does your bra typically come off? Within 10 minutes. 77. Have you ever carried a spare bra with you in your purse? No. 78. Which are you more likely to go without: A bra or panties? Panties. 79. Does it matter to you if your bra and panties match or not? I have never owned a matching set. 80. What type of underwear do you typically wear? Thongs during the day, full butt panties for bedtime. 81. How much of your underwear is white? Not many pairs. 82. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse? Not that I can recall. 83. Do you like eyeshadow? I do. 84. Do you like mascara? Yup. 85. How much makeup do you typically wear? Depends on how I’m feeling. Sometimes none, sometimes a little, sometimes a shit ton. 86. Have you every gone out in public without any makeup on? Yes. Often. 87. How much jewelry do you typically wear? The original jewelry put in when I got my rook pierced and 3 rings. 88. Is there any kind of jewelry you pretty much always wear? See previous answer. 89. Do you carry a purse at all? I have a backpack. 90. Do you like tube and halter tops? Not really. 91. Do you like crop tops? Sometimes. 92. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage? Yes. 93. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? Either. 94. Does it matter to you if your bikini top matches the bottom? No.

WEDDING CRAZE:

95. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? If so, how often? When I was little. Just once.

96. Do you have any desires to get married? Nope.

97. For how long have you thought about your wedding? Not long lol.

98. How much of your wedding do you have planned out already? If I ever did choose to get married it would be done in the Fall, likely late September or early October. It would be at an apple orchid. That’s it.

99. Would you rather have a big or a small wedding? Small as shit.

100. Would you rather have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple? Small handful. Sammy, Joanie, Brookie, Ellie. It’s a theme.

101. Would you rather have an indoor or an outdoor wedding? Does the same go for the reception? Outdoor. Yes.

DATING & RELATIONSHIPS:

102. What is your current relationship status? Single.

103. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever had? 14 months, very on and off though... Carter was a straight nine months.

104. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic at all? Oh absolutely. I love love. I love caring for people, loving people, and connecting with people.

105. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to? Nope, a male.

106. What personality trait are you most attracted to? Honesty.

107. Have you ever been on a blind date? No.

108. Has anyone you know ever tried to set you up on a date? Yes.

109. Do you use any dating apps? If so, have they ever worked out for you? I did until recently. They worked enough to go on dates, but nothing serious came out of it.

110. Do you kiss on the first date? I would if it felt right.

111. How often do guys hit on you? Lol, I am not someone who picks up on that. I need very direct cues. Example- a good friend and I hung out at my place, I truly believed we were just good friends hanging out. Then he straight up asked if I wanted to makeout and suddenly we were in my bed.

112. Have women ever hit on you? Yes.

114. Have you ever kissed another woman while sober? If so, did you like it? Yes. It was weird, I was young and it was my best friend at the time.

115. Have you ever dated another woman? No.

116. After how long of dating do you typically consider a relationship to be serious? It’s far more nuanced than that. If we’ve been together for a month but have spent every day together and are in constant contact, I’d say we’re relatively serious. If were together for four months but see each other like once a week and don’t keep in regular contact we’re not serious.

117. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate, flowers, both, or something else? Flowers are nice. I’d probably be more excited with like a spontaneous trip to the MSPCA to play with the cats... but that’s just me.

118. Are you friends with any of your exes? Nope. One ex cannot even be in the same room with me without a very heavy tension invading the space between- I’m not even sure why he was awful to me and I’m super over it lol. The other one I have no interactions with and truly I wish him well but I’d also be happy not running into him ever.

119. Is sex before marriage wrong? Nope. Sex is only wrong if there isn’t consent.

ENTERTAINMENT: 120. What celebrity do you most admire and why? I admire Amy Brenneman tremendously. She’s a wonderful actress, she’s a humanitarian, and she’s truly such a kind human. I was able to meet her, it was amazing. 121. Do you like romantic comedies? Do you have any favorites? I think they’re okay. No favorites. 122. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? No. I don’t really live movies. My adult ADHD is too real. 123. Who is your favorite Disney princess? Badass homie Mulan. Not just because she’s Chinese but because she’s the most badass. Also she isn’t actually a princess but she get lumped into that category.

124. What is your favorite Disney song? All is Found from Frozen 2. 125. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? Nope, it is an uncomfortable concept. 126. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? Yup. 127. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model? I loved ANTM as a kid. Mostly I liked the drama of the makeovers. 128. Do you like watching any beauty pageants such as Miss America? Nope. 129. Do you like watching the red carpet arrivals before award ceremonies? Nope. 130. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? Both. 131. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? I don’t watch either but they’re both really great people.

A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 132. Are you named after anyone? No. 133. How many male friends do you have? A good amount. 134. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends? Yes. 135. Have you ever called your friend friends your ‘girlfriends’? Yes. 136. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, babe, dear, or darling? Yes. 137. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design? Idk. 138. Have you ever scoffed at something because you thought it wasn’t feminine enough? No. 139. How healthy do you eat? Not the most healthy. 140. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: Clutched in your hand, on your elbow, or on your shoulder? On my back. I like backpacks. 141. Besides you phone, money, wallet, and keys, name five things you always have with you in your purse. Pen, notebook, chromebook, doTerra essential oil roll on, hand lotion.

142. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse? Yes. 143. Have you ever used your bra or your cleavage as a purse or a pocket? Yes. 144. Do you consider shopping a sport No. 145. Do you shop more in physical walk-in stores or online? Online. 146. What is the most amount of money you remember ever spending in one single shopping trip? Not sure. 147. How often do you have a girls’ night out? Nearly never. I’ve got course work, internship, and actual work. I only see my friends at work right now.

148. Do you prefer coffee or tea? Both. 149. How polite do you consider yourself? Polite enough. 150. Can you do the splits? Nope. 151. Do you like doing any yoga? Yes. 152. Have you ever been told that you have cute handwriting? Yes.

153. How well can you write in cursive? Well. 154. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? Yes. 155. Do you currently or have you ever belonged to a book club? I will have a book club after Spring break for work- I work at a school and one of my students asked to have a book club. 156. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticket by using your looks? No. 157. Have you ever drunk a non-alcoholic beverage from a wine glass? Yes. 158. Do you prefer showers or baths? Baths, if the tub is big enough to have my boobs and knees and I have a bath bomb 159. Have you ever snorted while laughing? Yeah. 160. How strict are you about manners? I’m not “strict” about it, but general rule of thumb is don’t be a dick.

#survey #about me #me #personal #questionnaire

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missdreawrites · 7 years ago

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Far Cry 5, and How I Feel a Week after Beating It

@weekend-writer, here we go. Hold on to your butts.

I just recently finished Far Cry 5, and mid-way through the playthrough, someone asked if I thought it was worth the 60$ USD and I had originally said yes. Now, having completed the game, I’m rethinking that stance. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sorry I bought the game for full price, but I’m definitely a bit - sad over it. So I’m going to go through the game point by point, in a somewhat blistering, disappointed review.

Obviously, beyond the cut, there are SPOILERS ahead.

Let me start this out by saying I enjoyed seventy-five percent of this game. The graphics were amazing, the outposts were all unique, the characters were priceless (fucking Hurk Jr, man, I love him so much and dude, I ran around with a bear named Cheeseburger). The music was fantastic. I loved the theme, and the battle music, and even the scary uber-Christian hymns that played on Eden’s Gate Radio.

Now, for those of you who are looking for a bit of a rundown, the game is about a Rookie Deputy Sheriff - hereby known as Rook for the rest of this review. You play the Rook who goes to Eden’s Gate, an uber Christian cult in the middle of Hope County, Montana. You, Deputy Hudson, Deputy Pratt, and a US Marshall go to arrest the leader of this cult, Joseph Seed.

Like in Far Cry 4, you have a choice in the very beginning of the game. You can choose not to arrest Joseph - though you have to loiter for ten minutes or so as your partners and boss get increasingly angry with you, but eventually the Sheriff decides you’re right, this is not a battle we want to fight, let’s just go. Credits.

However, if you actually want to play the game, you have arrest Joseph and bring him to your chopper, wherein all hell breaks loose, and you crash because of course you do. Joseph Seed tells you that arresting him was breaking the first “seal” and anyone who has watched Supernatural within the last thirteen years knows what that means.

The rest of the events in the game are not all that important to this review, only that Joseph Seed has several siblings that you have to defeat to get to him after you escape and are set loose on the region.

There’s John Seed, a torturer who has Deputy Hudson. He’s obsessed with cleansing people of their sins. There’s Jacob Seed, a war veteran who has so many PTSD issues I can’t actually list them all, and he’s a manipulator who believes the weak should be culled from the herd. He brainwashes you a la Bioshock, only he uses a song to do it. Then there’s Faith Seed, and she’s not actually related to them. She was a junkie who came to Joseph for help, and ended up helping him create Bliss, this hallucinogenic drug that stretches the bounds of reality just a bit too much.

There. Now.

You have to liberate each region (John, Jacob, and Faith respectively) in order to unlock the final confrontation with Joseph. Each region has a bar that has little bubbles on it, once reach those bubbles, those are essentially check points of “pissing off a Seed sibling” and they send Hunters out after you.

1. Mechanic I hate number the first one: the Hunting Party

So you’ve pissed off a Seed sibling! They send a Hunting Party after you. The party arrives - even if you fast travelled to a different region, or even the other side of the map. Or like me, you’re a stealthy snipery jerkface and you kill the entire party undetected as they yell about finding me and “use the Bliss Bullets, John/Jacob/Faith wants ‘em alive!”

I kill all eight of the hunting party, and breathe a sigh of relief. There are no more red markers, Boomer says no one else is around. I venture out of cover.

Blam.

Screen goes wavery, then sparkly. Then Rook falls unconscious. Despite having killed the party, or left the party or hidden, these are scripted events, so I literally can do nothing to save myself. I have to get kidnapped by the Seed sibling, for Plot Reasons.

Annoying but manageable.

2. Mechanic I hate number the second one: The Rook

Unlike in the rest of the Far Cry series, you are not a person. By which I mean, you’re not like Jason Brody or Ajay Ghale, or even Jack. You’re still the Rook, of course but you’re not voiced, you have no personality. You can be male or female, and the only person in the entire game that mentioned my gender as female was freakin’ Hurk.

Your character makes noise - when you’re hurt or falling, you grunt and groan and cry out, but you don’t talk. You don’t emote. You are just a blank canvas. What’s worse, is they didn’t bother recording two sets of dialogue like Bethesda did in Fallout 4.

So all the cultists just call you by a gender neutral sound. “Get ‘em!”/��I saw ‘em over there!”/”I got eyes on the sinner!”

Y’all. Y’all come on.

This is especially hard to stomach when the characters are spewing just the most ridiculous nonsense at you. There’s a moment after you get kidnapped by Jacob, and Joseph is there. He goes on this - truly awful and ridiculous monologue about how he used to be a different person, he was married, a baby on the way. How happy he was. Then there was an accident. His wife died, and the doctors saved the baby but the baby was sick, probably premature, and they said he had to be strong for his baby daughter.

TW: he is not strong for his baby daughter.

The rook doesn’t say a damn thing to this horrible man who admits he killed his baby daughter instead of taking care of her. The rook just watches him, from behind bars. Yo, I was livid. I was like WHAT THE FUCK YOU MURDERER HOW DARE YOU PREACH PEACE but nope. My character was totally silent.

Y’ALL.

3. Mechanic that I hate number the third one: the Ending (collectively)

WARNING: Here be spoilers. If you don’t care about me spoiling the entire ending confrontation with Joseph, keep on reading. Otherwise, feel free to skip down to the conclusion, which I’ve helpfully put in bold.

SO THE ENDING.

After you liberate each region, gather all your Roster, finish your side quests and helping each person you find, Joseph Seed contacts you - he offers to open up his compound so you two can finally have it out. Now, I’ll take this moment to say that I put it off for a bit. I ignored Joseph so I could finish side quests, and my partner, who beat the game two days before I did told me no, go do it, you won’t want to keep playing after. Why waste that time?

I was thoroughly alarmed by that statement. So even though it was almost seven in the morning and I’d stayed up all night to play it, I drove my ass to Joseph’s compound and in a mirror of the very beginning, walked up to the church.

Immediately, I am placed in a cut scene. This has happened a few times throughout the game, Whenever John Seed implored you to say “yes” to whatever tortures he wanted bestow on you, to talking with your allies. However, the length of this cutscene dragged on, until Joseph is done preaching at you.

He says he’ll give you an offer. That despite all you’ve done, despite the fact that you’ve killed his flock and family, he’s going to offer you peace. He’s going to do the “right thing” and offer you peace. You hear something behind you - still in a cutscene - and turn around to see all your friends. The roster you helped out, minus the animals, all Blissed out of their minds (as noted by the glowing cloud around their faces) and leading tied up people into the compound. They aim their guns at Deputy Pratt, Deputy Hudson and the Sheriff, all of whom have been recaptured by the people you thought were your friends. Joseph tells you if you resist, if you don’t choose peace, then you can kiss your friends goodbye.

Then you’re given the ability to choose two options: Resist or Accept.

IF YOU CHOOSE RESIST:

He knocks over some Bliss barrels, and everything gets all kinds of fucked up, and your friends attack Pratt, Hudson and the Sheriff. After you fight off Joseph for a second or two, you’re able to revive them (not a new mechanic, you can revive anyone during the rest of the game) and all four of you start fighting Joseph. You have to fight your roster as well, but once they go down, you’re able to revive them as well - which puts them back on your side. However, Joseph will also try to revive them, which leaves them your enemy.

I guess “killing them” and reviving them is like cognitive recalibration? Either way, once all your roster-friends are revived an on your side, you turn your attention to Joseph and shoot the fuck out of him. It’s real cathartic… until you beat him and are immediately locked into another cutscene.

While Joseph monologues at you, the Sheriff (your boss, essentially) comes up behind him, declares him under arrest, and handcuffs him. Joseph proclaims that another seal has broken, and then the entire screen shakes with some kind of impact. The cutscene shows you, Hudson, Pratt, and the Sheriff a giant mushroom cloud, not too far away from where you are, across the lake.

There’s a moment of shock, and Joseph declares it the end of the world, just like he predicted. He was right, and the end is upon us, etc, etc yadda.

We all run toward a car, with Joseph in tow, and then you’re given control back just long enough to drive helter skelter away from the shockwave, as shit is getting set on fire, until you’re suddenly locked in another cutscene just in time to slam into a falling tree.

The screen goes black and red, as you come to, realizing that Pratt, Hudson and the Sheriff are dead. The car door opens and you fall out, blacking back out. When you wake up again, you’re in a bunker - the same bunker you woke up in before being set loose on the county after the prologue, and who should be with you?

Joseph. Seed.

He tells you that everyone in Hope County is dead, and it’s all your fault, why couldn’t you have just picked peace? But hey, it doesn’t matter - we’re family now and one day, we’ll walk through Eden’s Gate together.

“I am your Father,” Joseph Seed says, leaning back in his seat, and staring at you with those wide eyes. “And you are my Child.” He locks eyes with you, never blinking, as the screen fades to black.

Credits.

I was in fucking shock. According to my partner who was awake on the couch and watching me play through this, I kept clicking my mouse like I was trying to pull my guns to shoot him. Why couldn’t I just shoot him?

Now, I’m willing to admit that a lot that might have been a hallucination - the cutscenes make use of the Bliss (which is hallucinogenic) a lot - even though when you aren’t in a cutscene the drug only behaves that way in the most minorest of ways. I’ve been running through fields of Bliss for ages, and all you get is weird sparkling on the corners of your screen. Sometimes you hallucinate Faith Seed, or animals that aren’t there.

However, ultimately, whether or not it was a hallucination doesn’t matter. Because the credits roll and the game is over. Hope County is gone, your friends, your allies, they’re gone. Your only companion is the man you failed to kill, the man you failed to arrest, and you’ve lost.

You lost.

So, utterly livid, I reloaded my save just before choosing Resist, and instead chose the other option.

IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT PEACE:

Joseph lets you go. He monologues a bit more, but he lets you, Hudson and Pratt, the Sheriff, he lets everyone go. You retreat to the edge of the Compound, get into the same truck you’d get into if you chose to resist, and start driving away. The Sheriff talks to you a little and ultimately what he says isn’t important, because the radio turns on, as you drive away.

Remember how I said Jacob Seed brainwashed you.... With a song?

The screen goes red as your character starts screaming, and then the screen goes black.

Roll credits.

The game is over. The last time that song played, when you did Jacob’s Region, you killed one of your allies because he brainwashed you into doing it. The entire lead up to killing Jacob is one big brainwashing suckfest, and you do things you don’t think you’re doing until it’s over.

It’s very, very clear that you’ll kill everyone in that car with you.

You lose. Everyone in that car knows how bad Joseph Seed is, they’re your survivors, your witnesses. The people who could have helped you get more manpower to come back and get rid of Joseph with more than a song and a prayer.

But you kill them. You lose.

Both of these endings mean that the ninety hours I spent playing were useless. Nothing I did mattered. Either the world fucking ends, or you murder the people you spent the whole game trying to save. Nothing you did matter, you made no difference, and you lose.

I have nothing against games where you don’t win. I have nothing against games where the ending message is you lose. I have serious issues with being plot railroaded via cutscene into endings I don’t want. Why couldn’t I shoot Joseph? I shot Faith, and Jacob and John. Clearly due process wasn’t important THEN, so why are we arresting Joseph? He’s a dangerous man who knows how to use a dangerous drug to mind control people - but yeah sure, let’s arrest him.

CONCLUSION:

Am I disappointed I bought the game? No, not really. I’m glad I played.

However, I was left with this - bad taste in my mouth, a little. The endings were lackluster, I feel like a require closure to move on with my life - especially because I beat it a week ago, and I’m still stewing over the ending.

Like the original ending of Mass Effect 3, where I was left in shock, I hope that Ubisoft hears how disappointing those endings were and gives us a miniature DLC (to go along with the three weird ones they already have) that gives us a better option.

To the anon who asked me if it was worth the 60$ USD, I originally answered your ask saying yes, because I loved the game.

I hope you see this, and note that my answer has changed. If you’re a hardcore fan of the series, like me, sure - spend the 60. But if you’re not? If you’re a casual player who just liked the idea of the plot - give it a miss, until the next Steam Summer Sale or Xbox Gold Give Away.

This is a little disjointed, I started it while I was at work and then slept before finishing it but I am free and available for any questions via ask/message system. Anon hate about loving the endings will be added to the fire and will fuel the heating for my house. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

#far cry 5 #far cry 5 spoilers #review #thoughts #SO I HEARD YOU LIKE BLISS #far cry #joseph seed #john seed #faith seed #jacob seed #the rook #shenaniganry

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