#literally just dont want it to be boring thats it
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STEB HEADCANONS :>
Uhhhm YEAH a few headcanons ive collected since act 3 came out in november 😸 enjoy Stebnation, or dont idk
This is very short and boring but its easier to write him in an actual scenario so TRUST IN ME MY UPCOMING STUFF WILL BE BETTER 😿
Content warnings: Established relationship w Reader, miiiild mention of knifeplay but its easily looked past. My opinion on his race.
NSFW marked this pink!
• He cannot be any older than 30. I'd bet hes like 23-27. Idk how old u have to be to be a field medic/enforcer??
• Hes around 6'4.. Tall guy. ♥︎‿♥︎
• His frill thingies seem to lie flat to his face with "down" emotions, such as shame/guilt and sadness. But they point straight out with more intense emotions, like suspense, anger, exitement, worry. I love the way they flutter sometimes, as a subtle reaction. Like when they saw the Zaunites walking over the bridge to aid in the war, his frills were like "oh, wow.."
But also how they shot straight out with suspense when Ambessa wanted Caitlyn to b commander and everyone was banging their chests and stuff.
• I'd like to imagine his frills flutter a few times in a row when he orgasms, like the shockwaves of pleasure, but also post-orgasm. Maybe they go hand in hand with his nervous system kinda?
• His tip is the same color as his eyelids. His nails seem to be beige too.
• He CAN talk he just chooses not to if he feels he doesnt need to. Short sentences if he has to, small nods and shakes of his head, LOOKS. his face is VERY expressive, but thats more of a fact than a hc. body language is a key communication of his.
• Hes def always been the quiet type, ever since he was six he hasn't been big on speaking.
But sometimes you cheat the system.. Having your back turned to him when you ask him a question just so you can hear his voice, even just to get a little "mhm" from him <3
• On the rare occasion that he does speak his voice is kinda hoarse and gravelly from lack of use UGHHHH *squirts everywhere*
• hes a bit of a "bland" person, hes not boring.. Just a very simple man. He reads practically anything, carries your bags when you're out shopping, he literally just goes wherever you wanna go. He hangs over your shoulders when you do ur makeup, cooks breakfast most mornings, cleans when he feels its needed cuz he doesn't like messes, he'll have music on in the background tho and it's usually one of your vinyls that's playing, makes him feel closer to you <3
Simple things man. deeply emotional and caring too. Hes so kind and eager to help ugh MY SHAYLAA.
• hes a bit socially awkward, he doesnt have social anxiety, hes just kinda stiff and quiet around people.
• what the fuck does he do all day, really?
• I feel like he'd like dancing with his lover but he thinks hes bad at it so hes a bit awkward <333 put his hands around ur waist for him tho and he'd turn into even more speechless mush, everytime.
• Has a gummy smile thats really evident when he laughs so he tries not too, might let a grin slip in private tho c: and close mouthed chuckling/snickers.
• Loves being carressed, hold his face in your hands and trace his cheekbones with ur thumbs? FOLDS. Running your fingers up and down the fins at the back of his head when his face is in your neck? PUTTY.
• Speaking of fins, they continue down to to his lower back, shorter at the bottom but longest between his shoulderblades. He also has darker spots(scales?) Like the other fishfolk in Arcane on his outer arms and thighs. See this post of mine for a ref :)
• he drinks alot of water, like ALOT. his throat get dry easily cuz hes.. Yk, fish.. Atleast half-fish. He'll remind his partner to do the same, no matter your race cuz its good for u, he'll nudge u with a glass in hand and a small tug at his lips, or simply just leave it beside u as a silent reminder.
• Loves holding hands. like, he just LOVES it. He'll act nonchalant abt it but on the inside his heart is just blossoming 💗
Like imagine you're at a café or a bar or a diner WHATEVER and ur just sitting infront of him yapping abt ur day or smth ur planning while holding his hand over the table, and he'll just be buzzing with love, rubbing your soft skin with his thumb, feeling lucky his blush doesnt show (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎)
• ABSOLUTELY ADORES kisses. He just finds them so sweet and intimate (cuz they are. But i mean like, he doesn't ever NOT think about it after kissing you, hes always locked on target y'know, he only sees you. He only feels you when kissing your lips, he'll kiss u like its the end of the world.. even if hes just getting up to go to the bathroom or something.)
• he just loves you so much, please kiss him, everywhere. Theres not a single spot of him you could kiss that wouldn't make him shiver (the good way).
• Steb is not much for hardcore kinks in bed. He doesnt "fuck", he makes love. In his eyes there truly isnt any purer form of intimacy than sharing something like that, giving away a piece of yourself to this person, your souls spiritually intertwined and yadiyadayada (it's true tho)
• He will go harder if you ask him to, hes not afraid to make you scream with pleasure. Also, bite him and hes a goner. Omg if hes like treating u so nicely in the sack you gotta bite down on something to contain yourself, pls let it be his shoulder, please leave pretty imprints of you canines all over his neck and chest. And hickeys too HNNGHH
Makes him groan so deliciously. Hips snapping into yours just a liiiittle more harshly than intended.
He'll bite you back carnally if you'll let him, Steb gets so lost in it sometimes..
• Hes open to experimentation tho, like if theres something you reallyreallyreally wanna try he'll be like 'euuughgghggggrhggh okay yk what fine', as long as he doesn't have to hurt you, not too much anyway. The idea of inflicting pain-pain on the person he loves makes him queasy.
• But if hes really fucking horny at some point, watching you take the front seat and play around w his gills, scratch at his chest, put a hand around his neck or.. Idk drag a knife gently across his skin while topping he'll literally whine, digging his dull nails into your sides, holding on for dear life.
• He loves being called petnames. Serious and silly ones. His favorites have gotta be Love, Darling, Baby and pretty boy.. All the sappy stuff. One time you called him 'Gorgeous' and his frills shot straight out for a solid three seconds.. If he already didn't speak, he'd be speechless then. CUZ HES A GORGEOUS MAN.
Or that one time you called him 'fishface' and he just slumped in defeat when he heard you giggle, knowing that one was gonna stick around.
You'll enter the kitchen where hes making something to eat and just go "Hey, Fishface! So--!" Continuing to yap and he just rolls his eyes with a lopsided, lovesick grin u cant see from behind him. From anybody else it'd piss him off, but it's you, So he lets it slide.
• he has the warmest and weirdly softest fuckin hands ever. They're never clammy or sticky, just nice and toasty, perfect.
• is the type to grab your hands in the winter and rub them if theyre cold, trying to transfer his warmth over, even if hes also freezing. breathing hotly onto them.
• speaking of winter he probably HATES IT. He gets SO cold SO easy, hes shaking in his boots fr. A frozen fishstick fr. Like jesus. But the palms of his hands stay warm for some reason..
adding to that hes def a sweater fiend.. He LOVES knitted sweaters and hoodies and TURTLENECKS. HE'D LOOK SO GOOD IN A TURTLENECK. TELL ME IM WRONG. LIKE A BIG, FAT, KNITTED ONE THAT GOES UP TO HIS JAW. Even better if you knit/crocheted them for him <33
• I headcanon that his dad is a human and his mom is a fish person cuz he has hair and rounded teeth which other fishfolk we see don't. We don't see any other fishfolk from piltover tho.. So maybe hes just slapped on a wig, peel-off eyebrows and filed his teeth down (which is INSANELY painful btw) to look "socially acceptable". I HEAVILY doubt that, when i rascism like that ever shown in Arcane, Piltover specifically? 🤔 Im not even gonna get into that whole Vastaya thing cuz i dont know enough.. I heard they can decide how many animal features they show as they please and that they're like deeply connected to magic and live really long.. But that isn't mentioned or even nodded to in Arcane so im just gonna pretend that doesnt exist lol sorry
• but ya he adopted alot of his moms fishy features but also human-ish hair and teeth from his dad.
•speaking of his parents, i do feel like Steb was raised kinda strictly? Idk i just feel like his parents would be very uptight and that stuck with him all the way into adulthood, he stands super upright and is well proper while on the job because thats just what hes been taught.
hes alot more relaxed at home tho, where he knows he doesn't have to be or look presentable for anyone, especially not you. he knows you'll love him even while standing by the fridge in pj's, with a fist full of grated cheese ready to be devoured at circa 2 AM.
• He was raised in a small village on the outskirts, right beside the ocean. Hence he still adores it and loves to go swimming with you, reminds him of his childhood yk c:
• He kinda gives only child vibes to me? Idk the thought of him with an older sibling is kinda cute tho,, i imagine they'd be like complete opposites. They hardly see eachother,, I don't feel like his family lives in Piltover. He had a "Mom, Dad.. I'm 18 now..! I'm moving to the big city. And there is nothing you can do to stop me." Moment, exept in a less verbal way maybe, moving to the city of progress and begining medical and tactical training, to help people. On both sides.
• Hes really good at origami, sometimes when hes at work and droning at his desk with nothing better to do he'll just grab a random paper and fold a little swan together. You've found multiple critters like that scattered around the house, some with faces drawn on, just two inky dots and a derpy smile like this : )
Once he made one of your favorite animal and left it on your nightstand before heading to work, you picked it up and examined it, smile growing even wider when you found the hidden lovenote that was written on it <3
It's now glued neatly into your shared scrapbook/journal along with many more, surrounded by dried flowers and red hearts <33
Uhhhhhhhhhhhrghhhhhhhhhh yeah ❗️🚮 i just debated wether or not this is even worth posting for like twenty minutes.
Pls dont bash me for my opinions now *gulp*
Also heres a lil reminder that im taking requests 💗💗 i love writing i just never have good or original ideas :'o(
#arcane#steb arcane#arcane steb#arcane s2#steb#steb x reader#steb x you#steb imagine#steb smut#steb headcanons#Saliva yappings 🍥
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Hey, its me again, surprise, it turns out I'm having even more thoughts about "killing the Villain"!
Namely that is can also result in boring/flat villainsand/or stories quite regularly.
To keep with the Star Wars Example: We tend to have no issue with Palpatine getting killed, because he barely is a Character. He has very little screentime, and whenever we see him he is either cackling evily, ordering the heroes deaths, or shooting lightning at the heroes.
Thats it.
We learn nothing about him, his background, his motivations, his reasons or anything about him as a person really, he is less a character and more a plotpoint.
And I'd argue that that is on purpose, because that makes it harder and less likely for us to emphatize with him or see him as human. He is just this super evil asshole, so him dieing feels like it "doesnt count".
If you want to justify someones death, just make them so purely over the top evil without any real reason for that apart from "is evil and/or crazy" that that is the only thing anyone will ever care about.
This can even work with characters you dont kill, see The Joker in DC Comics. He is literally so death immune that the goddamn trope is named after him despite being just the fucking worst.
Because by being the worst, Batmans moral integrity in NOT killing him is emphasized and, whenever someone starts the old "Batman should kill (at least the Joker)" debate again, the debate actually feels evenhanded, despite the fact that it really shouldn't. The pro-killing side only has arguments as long as the Joker is completely insanely evil and also immune to consequences of any and all kind.
Which, I would argue, makes the Joker a less interesting Character, because the hand of the author becomes VERY visible in some of those moments.
Point being, It's easier to kill or argue on favor of killing characters that are barely characters so you often end up with shallow or uninteresting characters because its easier to write that without having to deal with all those moral quandaries. It unfortunately also makes the story more shallow.
And hey, dehumanizing ones enemies, where have I heard that recently?
It Is A Mystery
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the thing about fanfic is that if it’s done well i can be sold on almost anything (and yes that includes a/b/o like idc i’ve read some good ones) but i will never be clicking on a high school au even if it comes recommended by a thousand mutuals. i don’t wanna read about teens or teen problems... but i don’t have anything that i filter out bc at this point in my life i’m down to clown. anything can be good.
#literally anything else i'll read#fics about pregnancy like as a main plot i wont read but also!!! truth and measure! done well! so!#at this point i have ventured into basically everything and i don't have any icks whatsoever so i just#prefer not to read high school aus bc they#theyre boring#but thats p much the same as like. i dont enjoy established relationship fics#honestly the only reason i even look at tags is to see if the sex will be interesting enough askdfjhdjkss otherwise it's summary all the way#literally just dont want it to be boring thats it
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i am being so brave trying so hard to hold back writing a rant about that 'minimizing narrative noise' comment on totk sage concept art bc its actively flying around in my head like the worlds most annoying fly
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#i have .... thigns to say...............#i need to wait until i get a look at the entire book#and cant go on rants on single comments#then again .... what else is in there .................#i am dreading this thing#like id rather know that there was trouble during development than having a dozen of shitty comments obviously trying to cover up-#-for something- this CANNOT be true#yes narrative noise is a thing that exists- but in THIS game????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#like you basically cut down the already boring plot into its bare essentials that isnt executed well either#and then add confusion and menaingless detailes like the sage helmets “”connecting“” the sonau to the shiekah#when rly it just makes it more confusing bc the hsiekah a prectically gone- the fuck kind of conenction is there#like THAT is what id call narrative noise- weird details that make no sense and arent important#also you cant make a character the equivilant of a blank box and then say 'we wanted them to feel powerful and scary' or sth#BC YOUD NEED TO MAKE THE CHARACTER ANYTHIGN -BUT- A BLANK BOX TO HAVE THEM BE INTIMIDATING#ALSO all the ancient stupid sages do is stand around repeating words like they are puppets- you dont see them fight ever#“intimitadtign” my ASS the useless little knife fake zelda throws at sonia from half a mile away and prob wouldnt even have gotten through-#-her hair is more intimidating than any of the blank box mc sages#youd think they learned their lesson when they made the botw champions DLC bc it fleshed their characters out more and added better-#-shrines BUT NO apparently that was a big mistake huh#maybe thats why every single character is reduced to one boring stereotype or a blank box of nothing in totk#having zelda be anything else but a swooing little damsel waiting for her prince was narrative noise needing to be removed HUH#writing team all fired or what- literally WHAT was going on in there
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astarion stans who refuse to try befriending or even romancing anyone else are the most annoying mfs. "I only romance astarion I just can't relate to the other stories" really? you can't relate to gales deep self loathing? his deep love and loyalty for those he cares about? you can't relate to wylls kind heart and desire to always do good, even if it means he's miserable? can't relate to shadowheart blindly following a god, only to learn the truth and reinvent herself? you can't relate to lae'zel or karlach who were lied to and used as weapons their whole lives, but continue to push on even when they're scared? you can't relate to the overarching theme of authority vs autonomy???
it's not difficult, it's just people refusing to appreciate and explore the game to its fullest bc their manipulative sexy vampire is all they need(something astarion actually loathes being seen as btw). but ok, you can be boring and do whatever you want, but don't lie and say the other stories are bad, because they're not. it's simply a lack of media literacy and critical thinking. because to you, if a character doesn't tell you point blank that they're aware of their situation, it's bad writing. missing the entire point that victims don't always realize the situation they're in. keep in mind astarion and karlach are the only ones who got away from their abusers, which is why they tell you clearly and confidently about what happened to them, fully aware that it was abuse. whereas the others give only their tunnel visioned perspective and speak highly of their deity(not caring about themselves, wish to appease them for something in return).
don't get me wrong (seriously, if I see one person misunderstand me I'm going to lose it) astarion is a good character, but people who only like him need to stop acting like he's the only complex and well written one. stop crying when people with brains call you out for being weird about his ascended ending. the game isn't about him. at least try and show some respect to those who worked hard on the game. make an oc and try new things, i promise the fictional vampire won't care if you don't romance him one run. have a drink with shadowheart, dance with wyll, go to a restaurant w karlach, maybe then you'll calm down.
#this isn't astarion slander this is a critical post against his annoying ass fans#if this post offends you then youre exactly who im talking about. use your brains. i want people to appreciate larians hard work#idk man i just dont understand people who play heavily choice based games and don't try different things#again dear god do not get me wrong. play how you want. its the people that literally lie about characters that irritate me#'gales full of himself/lae'zel is mean/wyll is boring' tell me your brain is full of holes w/o telling me#also. shocking. but youre allowed to dislike or be neutral on characters but at least try to see their story and give a Valid reason why#no 'gale was toxic to mystra' doesn't count bc thats a blatant lie. and him forcefully triggering romance stuff is a bug. try again#the thing is too i just know this chaos is caused by dragon age stans that migrated to baldur's gate bc the next game is gonna fucking tank#cant keep their stupidity in the da fanbase it seems#astarion ancunin#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3 spoilers#six speaks#also im not saying every stories writing is perfect bc not even astarions is perfect. i have criticism for all of them#but at their core they succeed in delivering the themes mentioned above
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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Me, who's never played an mmo before bc they're all years and years established, have super toxic community stories, and/or have a kinda steep price entry for a type of game I may not even like after starting:
T&L being f2p and available on ps5 without requiring PS+:
Me: yeah, ok.
#this is my first attempt with this character creator and i dont hate it.... but shes simultaneously cringe and boring imo lmao#ahhh but i still like her. maybe ill change her hair whenever I get a ticket thingie lol#my posts#my t&l#alex tries out a game thats not an amime rpg 😂#I've wanted to play an mmorpg FOR YEARS but i have been intimidated by the three reasons listed in the post#i dont like amazon as a monopoly. but i really cant keep being picky when a literal free to try out mmorpg drops right in my lap#mostly i just want to know if i like the kind of vibe and environment that mmorpgs supposedly have/can give#throne and liberty#throne & liberty#im sad that blue protocol is dead bc i was hoping thats be free on Playstation and not require ps+. oh well :/
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Im so fucking lonely. And it's literally nones fault but my own lol lmao even
#i just want to be able to msg people without feeling like just speaking will make them hate me#i get so nervous trying to talk to people who CLEARLY want to be my friends or ARE AND HAVE BEEN my friends#it literally throws me into an aniexty attack any time i get a msg like what is wrong with me#not everyone is out to get you kat for fucks sake.#sigh im sorry if you msg me and i responed once or twice then suddenly drop off the face of the earth#i want to talk i so very much do but just. i feel like i have nothing to say. im boring and mean and hurt people#vent#orange is typing...#i used to chat with my online friends EVERYDAY . what happend. can i fix it please. please. i dont wanna live like this man#as usually sorry dont worry about me my mood swings are crazzzzzyyyy just venting abt shit thats eating me up lol
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people who stop liking things just because it gets popular are the most shallow people ever no one cares if you like something popular like what you want to like art is made to be celebrated
#luc posts#like im not talking about people who dont like popular things bc thats cool like whatever you like i really don't care#im talking about the people who like something (a singer or band or something) but as soon as it gets popular/mainstream they completely+#+stop listening to it bc they dont want to be seen as basic?#like i mean for no other reason than it getting popular like ok??? you hate seeing art getting celebrated??? you hate seeing artists get+#+the recognition they deserve??? thats just weird#no one gives a shit if you listen to the music thats on the radio every day (if they do then they're weird bc music taste is personal)#listen to whatever you want#whether that's some underground folk singer who has a pet goat that shows up in every music video or the chart topping music good for you#art is meant to be celebrated stop acting like something being highly celebrated is a sign of being boring?#basic is a social construct there is literally no such thing as long as you're happy it doesnt matter and if other people care then they're#weird bc policing people's tastes is just strange#celebrate the art you want to celebrate support the artists you like genuinely no one cares if you like something mainstream oh my god#thank you for coming to my ted talk#music
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zeno's ultimate pokemiku tierlist ⁉️(it's all his opinion and he loves them all regardless⁉️)
#like arrfgggdiakaktmcksmsama this was literally all for me like they knew what they were doing#i love character design i love pokemon i love miku. and then you put ALL THREE TOGETHER....#i will explain some of my choices here#poison miku is just too good but also i am a big sucker for freaky scientists with constant “worry” eyebrows#her design is just so out there and crazy (this is about the shoes. some understand the greatness of the shoes and some dont. and thats ok.)#every other miku in peak i think establishes their theme exeptionally well especially ghost bug and fighting#for ghost i already love spooky and gloomy looking characters and that miku delivers tenfold (of course shes designed by the GOAT take)#esp with the mix of ghostly and electronic/digital regarding the glitchy parts n the 01 hologram#she looks like shell invade my computer and give it a virus if i dont send the chainmail about her tragic file corruption to 10 friends#(in the best way possible)#for bug miku the big dress is a huge plus but also i just think shes adorable nuff said#for fighting - i love a delinquent character and she fits that really well. the half coat thing is a big highlight for me#also the leek theme is absolutely iconic#for the ones i didnt like as much - i honestly just think the koraidon one is a leeeeetle bit boring#dont get me wrong. it has really cool aspects like the hair and the koraidon like cape but idk#it feels like theres a lot going on but not that much at the same time? its still a really nice design tho esp the hair color#for the ones in yellow tier - i just dont like the color palletes very much . theyre still really nice designs esp fire miku#but all in all these are genuinely all amazing designs and i dont want to be too critical or mean to any of them esp seeing im not a pro#but this was really fun to see unfold!!! cant wait until the songs start dropping#in the topic of miku as well - hey muse dash where's my miku on the switch version....#please dont make us wait too long 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
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forever wondering if people actually like talking to me or theyre just bored
#i know at least some ppl in my life have thought this abt me#i was in mental health treatment for a few yrs#this one girl literally only ever talked to me when she felt left out and or had no one else / was bored#like ok thanks!!!#she was weird anyway but like.#lol treatment fucked me up soso bad ahahhah#anyway my point rn is like#like ok#OBVIOUSLY my friends are allowed to have other friends#but rn my brain is just like#like a few ppl dm me first but at the same time#ok besides juli heh !#do those ppl even want to talk to me or do they just need a therapist or r bored and shit!!!#smth smth i am not the type of person someone falls in love with#not even romantically#again!!!! do most of my friends even like me or r they just bored n lonely!!!#im so fucking tired of being a therapist for everyone#im not just a fucking book you can read when u dont want ur thoughts to get loud#thats all ill ever be lmfao#vent
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Do you think the corporations will realise that we will care about their straight ships if they're not a girl fawning over the first guy she sees and getting married within the year and it being treated like a good thing or is this thought process too advanced for them to handle right now.
#for legal reasons this is a joke. and also being posted at 2am my time.#just. im thinking about petrigrof and why i like it. and its because its tragic and doomed and makes me feel things.#and thats why i enjoy jmart and privateeyes and literally any queer ships.#its not that i dont like straight people its that I am being spoonfed the same relationships with the same sexist undertones#over and over again#idk im just tired man#Oh this is also why I like heathers btw. That movie slaps. I do not ship JD and Veronica or anyone in that movie making myself clear#anyways#garlic breath#petrigrof#relationships#rambling#idk what to tag this and im not trying#I will take media suggestions tho. Like. For literally anything I am bored and tired and want some happiness#might delete later. idk.
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day 70
ok yall seemed to enjoy clownradia so here is a destiny clownsona doing a silly little dance
#day 70#year 4#destiny chainsaw#my ocs#cw eye strain#here you go clown enjoyers#i say that like i dont also enjoy a good clown aesthetic now and then#weirdest side effect of being a haunt person is being dragged into the spooky clown aesthetic zone#i always thought clowns were weird and boring and then working at the haunt the clowns are like#the MOST FUN ROLE that fuckin everybody wants#you have the most options as an actor you can really just go nuts as a clown??#like i think its because none of the other roles are really designed to be like...#YOU ARE SPECIFICALLY AN ENTERTAINER!!! even though really we all ARE like thats literally our job as actors#idk everybody loves the fucking clowns thats where they put some of the best actors
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thinking about vampiric arakawas again just so i can make a 'blood-sucking politician' joke
#snap chats#have i ever posted my vampire arakawa musings. i think i did long ago in a distant land. or at least for halloween vjaERLVKJ#anyway i was having my evening stroll with my dog and thinking about how much i love dark-renaissance age stories and whatever#which is a weird way to lead into vampires since At Least Dracula vampire stories dont start until the victorian - progressive era#though i guess you can do whatever you want with mythical creatures and its not as if vampiric stories cant start during the 1400s either#theyre immortal and Not Real (i hope) so anythings possible theres no need to be super restrictive#i am. literally not getting to the point Point Is it could be funny .....#thats why they cna be really good assassins like just eat your targets tf <- vampires dont eat people#but then of course i have to wonder the implications ... oh ive definitely made this post but im still curious#fuuuck man i wanted to make my joke but i just realized how do i even get to that joke cause i dont think masato would be a vampire#dhampir as i definitely said way back then IF THAT. what were the circumstances wait shut up why are there police next door#bro im too nosy this post is interrupted hang on#not nosy enough to keep watching im bored its probably nothing anyawy. cause i think sawashiro and ikumi woudlve been human#like during the uhhh idk dark ages and maybe arakawa turns sawashiro into a vampire later on but what of masato .....#idk im not gonna think too hard about it. right now just take my blood-sucking politician joke idea we'll figure it out later#stopppp i was wondering about vampires in japanese pop culture but then i rmemebered mandurugo WHICH. are filipino but STILL FOUL#im everywhere im ending the post now bye#wait i have to end this post cause why tf did my bestie send me a tweet being like 'look forward to the future of chao'#since shadow x sonic generations is coming soon LIKE DONT PLAY WITH ME AVBOUT CHAO I DONT PLAY ABOUT THEM FUCKERS#ok im ending the post now for real bye im gonna throw up
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very often ill see bears following my nsfw account and ill end up looking thru their profiles as i check for ppls ages in bio and theyre 99.9% bear4bear. That one anon lied to me.
#talkys#this is like a half joke/not that deep bc i dont actually care#and like. hm. how do i word dis.#there ARE people that have messaged me very very excessively over how much theyre into al on there#and i would NOT want that directed at me.#and i myself am‚ of course‚ an al enjoyer#and like. this is also not that deep im not saying its actually affecting me on a very personal level#especially since me and skunker are boring little guy things#but seeing everyone going into that account only being there for my guy is just reminding me of#being friends with like the prettiest girl in high school#where like at lunch she'd leave to get something and all the guys tailing her would be like#so whats the name of your hot friend lol :)#LIKE GAH. of course you're here for him but damnnnn cmonnnn#idk how to describe it bc again id also feel strange if ppl were being weird about skunker instead. idk! idk what it is#and i myself wouldnt lust after skunker adjacent beasts etc so i get it but theres Something about it i cant place#I THINK its bc skunker is an expression of identity and self#and skunker and cow al are like. copium. so some part of me feels really alienated by feeling like my audience straight up doesnt want#''me'' there...ykwim...i think thats it. bc ive been asked for more solo als or al with literally anyone else#or al with other big guys bc itd be hotter#and while im open to dis if im paid to draw it it really feels like the simpsons sheep bit LOL
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I am Sisyphus the way I "suddenly" have a brilliant art idea, except it's always literally the exact same paper doll concept I've had for years on end since I started drawing digitally. The concept that never ever gets finished. But I SWEAR this time it'll work, I swear it!!!
I want to draw boy king "get ready with me" 😞 I want to draw layers(idea I've had at least 20 times atp) surely I'd finish it. Surely.
#every project threatens to be the picrew again....#except that one actually got finished! wow!!#but yeah literally the whole time ive drawn digitally. i have this same concept idea over and over again#like a recurring dream...or nightmare...#the allure of it is to be able to draw different clothes on one base#so you can see how the character would look w different things on#and not have to draw a entirely new thing every time you wanna test an outfit#but how it ends up is that i finish the base and then draw maybe one outfit and get tired with it 😭😭😭#i really love drawing out the different layers of the outfit#cause that kinda thing is super fascinating to me. especially old styles of clothing#but yeah. it is genuinely pushing the rock up the mountain#bcs as i said i get to a certain point. get bored. few weeks later. omg!! i have an idea!!! repeat.#BUT YEAH.#i wanna draw this boy king au one particularly bcs the LAYERS#theyre so COOL to me#and i want to actually focus on clothing fully#though i know already ill get wrapped up w the face regardless lol#but i am thinking deeply about layers and hair and such#maybe ill do it#i guess its just such a longer commitment than drawing a normal thing#and it feels endless so thats why i end up becoming sisyphus#but i dont think ill ever get tired of the idea of it. i mean its been almost a decade at this rate#catie.rambling.txt
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