#literally just barron thoughts

[urfavlarry]

Just saw that you take SBG requests! If possible could you do a Tyler oneshot where the reader starts out as Barron’s gf (it’s not going well bc he’s a jerk). Maybe Tyler helping her out of that relationship and just fluff of him being there for her. Bonus points if reader’s in the group!

Tyler Hernández x fem!reader

warnings: swearing, toxic relationship, manipulation

genre: angst(??) but mostly fluff

A/N: hope this doesn’t look rushed lmao I tried my best :,)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You’ve been dating Barron for a few months now, you wanted to give him a chance, thinking he would be different towards someone he actually loved, or so you thought he did. It started off as a normal relationship, he was sweet, took you out on dates, but now you realize that was just a trick so he could wrap you around his finger. You tried leaving several times, but you learned from your mistakes and didn’t think it was worth the bruises you would get. You. just had to pull through! Right?

You met Ashlyn and the other after you started dating Barron. They were really hesitant to let you in the group, thinking you were just trying to lure Logan into doing things for Barron like before, but they quickly relized you weren’t the type of person to do those types of things. You were complete opposites; he was manipulative, mean, and just a total jerk, while you were kind, truthful and calm unlike Barrons short temper. Everyone in the group was questioning how you even managed to be in a relatiomship with such an idiot but you brushed off the comments and told them he was different in private, which was a lie. Well if they asked this a few months back it wouldn’t have been a lie, but I guess people like Barron fairly change quickly. It was a few weeks after you started hanging out with the group that your situation with Barron worsened. To say that he was upset you were hanging out with the group that literally BEAT UP him and his little minions was an understatement. He would start beating you, yelling at you; “Oh so I’m not enough for you you fucking whore?” “You think you can just run off and think they will solve your problems for you?” But right after he would put up this kind facade, hugging you close, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and playing with your hair; “I’m sorry love, you know I get angry.. it’s just that..” Just endless excuses that you fell for, so you stayed.

The group quickly noticed your bruised figure; “Oh I’m fine, I was playing with my brother and fell!” or “I bumped into the side of a table this morning because I was in a hurry!” Everyone seemed to believe you except Tyler. He eyes you the whole lunch break, even during class. You glance at him every now and then and your mind starts to race; “What if he knows?” You think to yourself and look at Barron who like always wasn’t paying attention at all and would ask for you to do his work for him. You roll your eyes and decide this class doesn’t deserve your attention so you lay your head down on your desk and drift off.

The sound of the bells jolts you awake and you groan, gathering your stuff and go to leave the classroom. You feel a hand on your shoulder; “Leave me al—” “Come meet me after school, i’ll be waiting in front of the gates.” You hear from behind you and recognize the voice as Tylers. You nod and leave the class immediately, praying Barron didn’t see your little interaction.

The day went by dreadfully slow and you counted down the minutes when the last bell finally rang. The hallways were crowded with angsty teens and pick me whores who couldn’t wait to get drunk on a Friday night. You push your way through the mob of people and go to the gate where Tyler said he would be. You see Barron and his minions in the crowd of people and you sprint towards Tyler, grabbing him by the wrist and pull him towards the nearby coffee shop you had near your school. After you believe your put of sight you slow down, walking in silence. “Um, you can let go now?” Tyler says, pointing to his wrist. “Oh yeah, right.. sorry.” You look away, putting your hands in your hoodies pocket. Tyler raised a brow, it was mid May and it was getting hot out, every girl at school was either in tank tops, shorts, or dresses. He pushes the thoughts aside and opens the coffee shops door, letting you in first. You sit down in one of the more secluded spots in the shop and place your bag down.

“Soo.. whats up?” You ask, ordering a refreshing drink. Tyler just looks at you, eyes furrowed and arms crossed over his chest. “I know what you told us today was just a load of bull.” He says in a stern voice, having a “if you lie to me I’ll personally jump over this table and smack you” face.

“What do you mean? Are you implying anything?” You smile innocently, fiddling with your fingers under the table. He raised a brow, and hums; “Maybe I am.” He says and stays quiet after thar, staring you down, making you shift in your seat. You clear your throat and finish your drink, standing up; “Well if you don’t wanna discuss anything, i’ll be leaving—” You get cut off by getting tugged back by your wrist. You sigh and turn around, looking down at the ground not wanting to meet his harsh stare. He sighs and lifts your chin to look up at him, his gaze softening just a bit. “Wha—” He pulls you into a hug and you freeze, the new form of affection taking you by suprise. You hesitantly hug him back, feeling a bit awkward hugging him in a coffee shop but you pushed the thought away. He grabs your wrist and pulls you from the coffee shop; “I know that relationship between you and the hijo de puta isn’t healthy hermosa.��� He says letting go of your wrist, looking away from you and kicking rocks he had in his way. You sigh, contemplating if you should say anything, the things that Barron had told you haunting you everywhere you went. “I don’t know what your talking about.” You say and Tyler rolls his eyes; “Yeah right, you got that bruised cheek and eye from chasing your cousins riiight yep that explains it!” He says sarcastically and crosses his arms over his chest; “Really Y/N let me or the others help you, we aren’t blind, the others just didn’t wanna be pushy and force you to say anthing.” He says as you both walk to the park, only a few minutes away from the coffee shop.

He sits you down on the bench and towers over you, glaring right at you. “Come on we just wanna help, well at least I do, come on cariño, let me help you.” He says and sits down next to you. You look at him in disbelief, maybe you could finally get out of Barrons torturous grasp? But what if he would keep bothering you? What if he hurts your friends? Your eyes water and you hug Tyler, sobbing into his shoulder; “I’m scared Ty, I really am.” You choke on your sobs, shaking uncontrollably while Tyler rubs your back soothingly. “Aw Y/N don’t cry hermosa.. it’ll be fine.. I promise.” He says, cupping your cheeks and wipes away your tears. You smile softly, finally calming down from your little nervous breakdown. “Thanks Ty..” He nods in acknowledgment and puts an arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him.

You rest your head on his shoulder and talk with him for what feels like hours, explaining your situation with Barron and how he has been treating you. Tyler listens, only commenting a few times since he didn’t wanna interrupt you and make you feel like he doesn’t care. Oh he did care, more than you could imagine. He’s been a bit overprotective of you since you joined the group, always protecting you from bullies you didn’t even know you had because Tyler always kept their mouths shut.

The next day you texted Barron to meet you at the school gate, which he did. “Hey babe whats up?” He smirks and wraps an arm around your shoulder. You give him a disgusted look and shake him off, stepping away and try to keep your distance from him. Tyler was watching the whole scene unfold, promising you that if things got out of hand that he would intervene. “Barron I think we should—” He cuts you off and glares at you; “Oh so that’s what this is about? We already talked about this you fucking bi—” While he was rambling, you didn’t even notice Tyler walking up to him and punching him right in the nose, an awful cracking sound being heard seconds later. “She said what she said estúpido, now leave her alone.” Tyler holds your hand in his, pulling you away from the now bleeding boy. Barron knew better then to mess with Tyler so he just cursed under his breath, leaving you alone. You walk into the boys bathroom that people rarely went to since people thought it was “haunted” and he grabs you by the shoulders looking at you with a worried expression.

“Y/N are you okay?” He asks, concern evident in his voice. You look up at him and pull him into a hug, having the biggest smile on your face. You mumble like a hundred thank you’s, and pull away from the hug. “Thank you so much Tyler, you don’t know how much you helped me.” You say and kiss his cheek. “I know this won’t make up for the problems I causes you but—” You get cut off by soft lips on yours, leaving you stunned. You close your eyes and kiss back, wrapping your arms around his neck while his arms travel down to your waist. Your lips move in sync, like you were just made for each other and pulled apart for breath. Tyler smiles down at you and kisses your forehead and smirks; “I’ll need a few more of these~” He leans down to kiss you again, a finger on his lips stopping him. “First of all, take me out on a date.” You smile innocently and head to your class, leaving Tyler to plan your date for the rest of the day.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[corpseidol]

Hola, I'm back for more food. Can I request a poly sbg (again.) with a fem reader who is like Wonyoung from Ive (and she's an undercover singer and they all find out because they searched up her group name because they heard people *cough cough *Barron* talking about her (yummy)

BEHIND AN IMAGE

author’s note : i dont think wony knows how to play guitar expertly but let’s ignore that ok? (IM SO SCARED THAT THIS IS COMPLETE ASS)

concept : sbg with fem!reader similar to wonyoung

genre : fluff, little angst, hcs + drabble

content : fem!reader, mild use of curse words, reader is a kpop idol!!

small hints

⠀ › ⠀aiden most likely found notepads and random papers with song lyrics when he visited you

⠀ › ⠀ben has heard your singing voice, but you never revealed that you were a famous singer. you have sung for him a few times.

⠀ › ⠀ben blushes when you compliment his plays on the guitar

⠀ › ⠀the whole group has heard you humming and singing a few lyrics when they play songs but the only people who’ve heard you sing a whole song was most likely ashlyn and ben

⠀ › ⠀when taylor hears your singing, she suggested you should become a singer (you couldn’t help but giggle at that)

⠀ › ⠀tyler falls asleep listening to your singing but he’d never openly admit that

⠀ › ⠀you have karaoke with taylor

⠀ › ⠀logan did karaoke with you and taylor (him and soft music would be adorbs)

⠀ › ⠀ben would eventually find out about the notepads that aiden found and would find them fascinating when he reads them

barron

⠀ › ⠀has put you in many situations where you could get exposed

⠀ › ⠀you’ve had many fights exchanging that you would both leave each other alone just for barron to do something and bother you again

⠀ › ⠀claims that he won’t hold anything against you at the end of the fight but literally has tons of stuff kept to himself when he wants to do something you clearly will not enjoy

⠀ › ⠀barron genuinely believes you don’t trust the group and holds it against you very much

⠀ › ⠀doesn’t exactly “bully” you for it. he holds pride that he has a classmate who’s an idol, however, has disrespected your boundaries multiple times.

finding out

⠀ › ⠀barron’s loud ass and terrible lying. that’s basically it.

⠀ › ⠀when the group saw your situation with barron, tyler was going to step up until they started overhearing about some career (he figured he would talk more about it later. first he had to get rid of the trash!)

⠀ › ⠀ashlyn : honestly started connecting all the dots (at first she told herself “i won’t be surprised if she turns out to be a singer” but she’s slightly surprised honestly

⠀ › ⠀taylor : had to process it for a few minutes before going like “can you do a high note?”

⠀ › ⠀aiden : “that’s what the notepads were for.” honestly shocked but not shocked at the same time. prob would start to encourage you to do a high note along with taylor. (would also look at some concept pics of you and just show ben.)

⠀ › ⠀tyler : questioning his life. has no idea what emotion he’s feeling. no idea how to express it. just standing there with a funny look on his face.

⠀ › ⠀logan : surprised but totally hyped about it, finds it cool.

⠀ › ⠀ben : surprised but not in a “woah!! i would’ve never thought about that!!” or “what.. what the fuck..” type of way. more in a “wow.” then a pause “awesome.”

extras

⠀ › ⠀ben is slightly envious of you. he thinks of his childhood when he hears you sing.

⠀ › ⠀i’m not sure if lily was alive/able to remember when ben was still able to sing since she seems wayyy younger. if that’s the case then she would still see ben in you. she likes to think that you’re ben’s lost voice.

⠀ › ⠀after finding out, ashlyn would love to watch you dance practice

⠀ › ⠀the group teases you about anything related to aegyo

ashlyn

“i didn’t think you could do that first try.” ashlyn stared, watching you stretch your body similarly to the way she does it herself. “there’s a lot more than this i could do.” you softly replied, getting up from your position.

the twins

taylor and tyler were on your sides, their head on your shoulders as you sung a soft tune. tyler was trying hard not to fall asleep but closed his eyes for a few minutes, relaxing against you. taylor smiled at this, intertwining your hands with hers “your voice is still beautiful as ever.” she complimented. you rubbed your thumb gently against hers as acknowledgment, continuing to sing.

logan + ben

you hummed a gorgeous tune, walking around with ben’s hand wrapped in yours. logan was tending to his plants while you listened to ben’s music with him. to not leave out logan, you began to sing along to the lyrics.

ben (ft. taylor)

as ben watched you perfectly sing your part in the karaoke with taylor, he stared at you with admiration, and, at the same time, gloom. a thought popped in his head that if he never lost his voice, he could be able to sing along with you. he pushed away those thoughts, clenching his pants as he tried to keep a smile on his face.

aiden

“i think you looked rad here.” aiden said, holding up his phone in front of you. you giggled softly “i loved that concept.” you admired the picture. aiden continued to scroll through pictures of you. at the same time, he couldn’t help but wonder about how you never told the group. so did the others.

[tinywitchdraws]

Modern AU head-canons for these Dune characters:

Feyd Rautha

Glossu Rabban

Piter de Vries.

ohh okay this is interesting. I am not really that used to headcannons/ AUs, as I'm honestly new to engaging with fanfic in general so my apologies in advance if it doesn't totally fit, but here are my headcannons and ideas for how I'd do a modern AU with these characters.

Feyd Rautha:

Feyd Rautha is the heir apparent to a large spice mining company- in this case, you could substitute an oil or mining company for modern AU. The company culture is highly toxic, but Feyd likes that. He's known to churn through interns and keeps a non-existent sleep schedule.

His overall dynamic is finance bro meets basically any character from succession (think a slightly more financially literate Roman Roy). He buys luxury items just to fit in, however he has just enough taste so that it actually works. He considers most of these purchases a waste of money, but also his right and/or part of the job as heir.

As part of the Baron's inner circle, he has knowledge of most of the company's inner workings and takes great personal pride in digging up as much information as possible on the people he doesn't already control. He will often go to conferences and events just to get a read on competition. He secretly longs for someone to take that kind of an interest in him, but no one has just yet- many still think that he's too young and unpredictable to inherit.

After all- there is that rumor that he tried to kill the Baron.

Glossu Rabban

If Feyd is the more of a Roman Roy, Rabban is Conor. He had ambitions at the company which ended in failure, and has been reassigned to lobbying. Rabban is attempting to trade off of his industry connections to get into politics, if he can. He's aware his current position is tenuous at best and that he might need to make his own career. As the family industry is regulated, everyone basically hates this pipe dream of a career ambition. His moves are too obvious and clumsy, and he often tries to influence someone only to find that Feyd has already discussed the business with them. He's not a total failure, but his family just doesn't appreciate any success outside of financial success.

Piter de Vries

Piter is a math genius that works in data modeling and analytics. The Barron and Feyd love that he makes them money, however he's abrasive personality wise. He's known to use a myriad of drugs recreationally and at work, just because solving the same problems sober is too boring for him. The company has tried to hire assistants that can help him or at least explain his reports palatably, but he insists on doing the work himself and his own data models for fun in C. Not C++, C. The entire department rests on his shoulders and the Baron is weighing if Piter is worth putting up with. He gets the work of a department done on one salary, but also insists on making MILF jokes about lady Jessica basically any time she's within his zip code.

Would love to know your thoughts <3 Thanks for this ask!

[thatoneluckybee]

OKAY THOUGHTS TIME

This should be more coherent than last weeks where I lost my mind since this episode feels more like a lead-up to the drama rather than the drama itself. Which is exciting!

It’s 6:48 A.M. and they’re heading to school…. y’all I keep forgetting it’s been less than 48 hours since Tyler got kebabed. It’s been well over a year real-time so it’s so easy to forget these kids literally get NO break.

They all look so exhausted :(

Rest In Pieces Logan’s Glasses. He looks terrifying without them, but glad he has contacts. Makes me wonder, will they be broken or intact in the Phantom World? I think they’ll be intact since (if I remember correctly been a few weeks since I’ve reread) once they interact with an object in Phantom World, the Real World stops affecting it. Like the jeep. Also, are we gonna get contacts Logan from now on, will he get a new style of glasses, or will he just replace the lenses in a few episodes? (Also that hurt as a Glasses User who does not wear them as often as she technically needs to I don’t like them sensory eueuhhj. They must be SO expensive)

Again, WHERE IS AIDEN’S MADRE?

Ryan following them again… go away sir.

I can’t tell if Mike was glancing back because he notices Ryan’s car following them or if he was just checking on the Graveyard Gang… but I wouldn’t put it past him to notice they’re being trailed. He’s very observant.

Okay little screaming moment… HDJKWHBJKHJIHJWI THAT PANEL KILLED ME (Everyone looks so DONE and ANGRY and EXHAUSTED and the collective “No.” was GREAT. And then we have Ben looking like a troubled cat that’s just… disappointed. It’s cracking me up)

Logan likes french toast and Taylor likes egg and sausage biscuits, noted.

BARRON GET YO CRUSTY HINEY AWAY BEFORE I SMACK YOU WITH A FLYSWATTER YOU P E S T

They all looked SO COOL telling those losers off. It hurts so much to see how resilient they’ve gotten, honestly. At the start of the series they would’ve been scared or crying, now they’re just mildly irked. They’ve witnessed horrors. (Also boy RUN Ben is about to go FERAL on you)

Logan is scaring me. If they are turning into phantoms, he’s turning fast. It seems triggered by negative emotions…. that could be why Logan and Taylor seem the most affected right now?

Ashlyn is breaking my heart but I’m still so proud of her. Sucks HOW she’s learned to open up but seeing her now compared to the beginning is insane. Purposely avoiding ANY human contact and relationships to dead-seriously asking Logan to stay with her. I love how much she’s grown. And her hand was shaking… she’s getting good at being more vulnerable too!

Barron doin’ the little “I’M WATCHING YOU” sign is too funny to me— AND TAYLOR DOES IT BACK UYHIGYHIGYH I MISSED THAT THE FIRST READ

I WAS FEHWJFRIHIGUJ I NEEEEEED THE MR THOMAS LORE NOW. HOW DOES HE KNOW? Okay actually I have a few possible theories:

He is a part of or has encountered the crane organization. I still can’t still if the origami on his desk was symbolism, foreshadowing, or both.

He’s got eye bags. Could be natural (like mine) or… could Mr. Thomas also be in the Phantom World? Or he was when he was younger? If so, he would be REALLY valuable as an asset for our group. If he was when he was a high schooler as well but escaped that could help too. Now I’m just ITCHING for lore

AUGH I love Red’s pacing but it’s so annoying at the same time. I can TELL we as a collective are staring to figure things out (and as a collective I mean everyone on Tumblr and the Webtoon comments) but we literally just don’t have enough information to fill in the blank spaces without wild guessing. And we have SOME answers but we don’t know what questions they answer yet. Does get me SUPER pumped for the future of the series though!

EDIT: BUZZCUT’S NAME IS RYAN THANK YOU @planetarymesss

[thephantomhivefuckboi]

♞Kuroshitsuji Joker Theory♞

(Beware, for this will contain Kuroshitsuji manga spoilers.)

Okay, so a thought literally just occurred to me. I will do my utmost very best to explain it the best way I possibly can, so please bear with me.

So, I've discovered here on tumblr that there is this theory speculating that Polaris is probably Joker:

Which to be honest, is a very good theory that I personally enjoy, for it honestly makes a lot of sense. And in my opinion, it kind of makes a lot more sense since Doll was recently revealed within the manga as well. However, when I decided to re-read a page from the manga —Specifically chapter 137, I had discovered something that I'm hoping everyone else that read the manga saw as well.

Now, if this guy is Joker like the theory said, then...

WHO THE BLOODY HELL IS THIS GUY, THEN?! Could it be that Joker isn't Polaris afterall? Because who else could this person shown here be? BUT yet again, what if this cloaked man actually is Joker? Allow for me to explain.

Now, I recently thought of a bit of a theory that could perhaps make sense. Do you guys remember when Barron Kelvin remade the basement into the place where R!Ciel was sacrificed in, especially the locked in cages that contained those poor children?

How on earth could this absolute madman possibly had known how it looked down to every detail when he wasn't even there? The fact that he created it so that it would look exactly like how O!Ciel, and R!Ciel had experienced it is quite bizarre say the least...But I think that there may be an answer to that.

What if this guy actually is Joker? Perhaps Joker was a witness to this whole thing, and as soon as things started to escalate, he quickly left. Perhaps that would also explain why we didn't see this guy get killed by Sebastian within the manga when O!Ciel gave him his first order to kill the ones who did those horrid things to both O!Ciel and R!Ciel. (And how this guy hadn't been shown anymore after that one panel in chapter 137. This dude literally made one single appearance, then dipped. Coincidence? I think NOT!)

And not to mention that when the news was broken to Baron Kelvin that a buyer had gotten ahold of the Phantomhive twins, and that they were to later on be used as sacrificial lambs, Kelvin had begged to be taken to that same place that they were in:

And since Kelvin himself couldn't just go with the man who had just broken the news to him (due to not being able to walk due to his recent operation, and because the man had hurried up and left the room when Kelvin began to behave hysterical), what if Kelvin himself had ordered Joker to go follow the man to the location where the twins were being held, and perhaps save the twins, thus is why this cloaked individual here is randomly shown in Chapter 137 of Black Butler? I like to imagine that Joker had made it to the location, he disguised himself as a member of the cult to blend in with the crowd, and was pretty much silently watching everything unfold before his very eyes.

This would also explain how Kelvin knew of how the place where R!Ciel had been sacrificed, and how it all went down.—Because Joker told him everything about it. (i.e the appearance, the cages, the children within the cages, the table used for the sacrifice, the pentagram engraved under the sacrificing table, etc.) He probably didn't tell Kelvin about Sebastian being summoned, for Kelvin probably would've thought Joker was spouting nonsense.

And by the look on Jokers' face within this panel of the manga, I'm quite certain that fear isn't the only thing you can see on his face, but also guilt and anxiousness. I have a theory speculating that whilst Kelvin was boasting about re-creating the basement to look exactly as that satanic alter where R!Ciel was sacrificed, Joker was probably afraid that Kelvin was gonna reveal to Ciel that he had sent Joker to the place where those horrid things had happened to he and his brother that very day which probably would've caused Ciel to go mad, and probably shoot Joker, or just order Sebastian to murder him right away. But Kelvin wasn't able to finish his sentence due to Ciel immediately shooting him:

(Serves this nigga right, for I'd shoot his ass, too 🤷🏽‍♀️)

What do you guys think about this? I mean, don't get me wrong, I feel like I could be incorrect about all this, or that it could just be a coincidence, but yet again, you also gotta think to yourself—Not everything is a coincidence in Kuroshitsuji, for there are quite a lot of observations to make when it's a supernatural series full of all of numerous different mysteries.

But yeah, that's really all I've got to say about that, but let me know what you guys think about this theory.~

-Astre♞

[another-whump-sideblog]

Jane’s Pets Chapter 74: Alone

TWs in the tags

Previous

Masterlist

Next

You feel safe when you’re alone.

You didn’t, for a while. It wasn’t a conscious thing, but if Puppy or Kitty weren’t around, they couldn’t protect you if Jane decided to hurt you. And you used to feel like if Diya or Ray weren’t nearby it would be easier for Barron to hurt you. But slowly, without you realizing, you’ve gotten more and more comfortable with being alone, and now it doesn’t scare you at all.

It’s not like you avoided being alone before. You even specifically asked Diya to let you go on walks alone. Though that was before you really trusted em…

Really, you didn’t feel safe alone or with other people, and now both feel safe. You don’t worry about people hurting you when you’re hanging out with them, and you don’t worry about being unprotected when you’re alone.

You worry that you’re wrong, sometimes. Because you thought you were safe with Jane and you were wrong. But… that’s not exactly how it happened, is it? You suspected something was off. That’s why you went into the basement in the first place. Really, the only reason you fell for it at all was because you wanted it to be true.

And you want this safety to be true, too. But you don’t let that keep you from being alert, and even as you’ve looked for evidence that you weren’t actually safe, you’ve found very little.

You’ve gotten a lot better at handling flashbacks and panic attacks and nightmares alone, too. It’s easier with help, of course, but you know that if you get triggered and no one’s around, you’ll be okay. You’re okay alone and you’re okay with people around and you’re just… okay. You’re alright. Everything’s alright.

Alone time is fairly rare in the cabin, and that’s fine too. Once you’ve saved Kitty and Puppy it’ll be even more crowded.

You guess that once Jane is dead, some of you will have to move out. You don’t think Barron or Diya or Ray would ever kick you out, but six people is a lot in a two bedroom one bathroom cabin, and it’s a lot of people for Barron to support on one income.

Ray said you could stay if you wanted, but maybe it’d be nice to have a place with your own room. You’re… not sure how you would achieve that, but it would be nice.

You really should start thinking about how things will be once Jane is dead…

But it’s a nice day. You think you’ll go for a walk and try to make a fancy meal for everyone for dinner. Yes, that sounds nice. Or maybe you could start getting into baking and try to make brownies or something.

You don’t have to worry too much. When the time comes to figure out real life things, you won’t have to figure it out alone.

~~

Diya would prefer literally anything to being alone, ever.

It’s not the healthiest, but Ray, Barron, and now Liam are always there for em, so ey doesn’t have to learn to be okay alone. Ey doesn’t have to be alone at all if ey doesn’t want to.

Still, when they wake up in the middle of the night and find that Ray’s not by eir side, ey always panics, and Ray always is back within a few minutes to reassure them.

I was just going to the bathroom.

I was just getting a drink of water.

I just heard someone crying and went to help.

Where else would I even go? I’m always here

I love you, Diya

Ey knows it’s stupid, and ey can handle it when someone’s separated from em by a few walls during the day. But at night, when ey’s only half awake, it’s as terrifying as if ey woke up back in eir little cell in Irving’s home.

Having Liam around has helped. Now if Barron is at work and Ray wants some alone time, Diya doesn’t have to remind emself over and over and over again that Ray didn’t leave em, they’re just in the other room, it’s okay. Ey can just hang out with Liam! Liam’s great.

Ey knows ey should probably find some activity that ey only does alone, so ey has something to associate with being alone besides hours and hours in a little concrete cell with nothing to do, or with waiting outside doing nothing but watching for 7 hours because she said she’d come back and if ey goes anywhere else she might just assume ey’s forgotten her-

Diya knows being alone doesn’t have to mean being abandoned, but it still feels that way, and building new associations is hard.

Diya is fine with living a life where ey never has to confront being alone. Ey can have one unhealthy coping skill, right? Not even that, really, just one issue ey isn’t ready to work on yet. Ey can have that. Ey can have that because ey isn’t alone.

~~

Master taking Kitty, and then Bunny, is the best thing that’s ever happened to Puppy. Which sucks, because it’s the worst thing that ever happened to either of them. They’d be better off dead.

This, Puppy has learned, is the price of her happiness. Every reward she’s given, every moment of mercy, comes at the cost of someone else. Master only feels merciful when she’s been unceasingly violent for hours before. Master only gives rewards to condition her and the others, and her conditioning has and will always lead to other people getting hurt.

When Bunny gets taken back, it will be the same way. Puppy will have someone else, someone who brings her joy, and every moment of that joy and gratitude will mean pain for him.

Kitty’s been more compliant lately. This makes Puppy happy, because she knows she won’t have to listen to Kitty keep getting punished over and over again, but she knows it’s bad for them. She holds them and tries to whistle through her muzzle while they come down from Master’s drugs, and they cry and cry and cry, asking who they are and where they are and why this is happening over and over and over again. It’s bad for them, but Puppy would rather see them cry than see them covered in blood.

The only thing Puppy has to hold onto are these little joys. Not being alone, seeing someone get hurt less, having someone to hug that won’t pull out a knife. This is how she comforts herself, because every life is hard and this is the one she has to live so she might as well find joy in it. But she can’t ignore that most of the time, when she has found something to be happy about, she is happy alone.

~~

I can’t connect to people the way mortals can. That full, unrestrained love that comes when you can age together with someone, when you share in the risks mortality brings. I can’t have that.

I can’t connect with other immortals either. I don’t fully know why, but I can guess. Immortals in general are very stingy with affection, having watched loved ones die and rot more times than mortals can even imagine. So I can’t connect with mortals because they are nothing like me, and I can’t connect with immortals because they’re fucking cowards.

I don’t know why I’m doing this. Sitting and ‘resting’ for an hour like Peyton recommended, even after I proved to her it wouldn’t work. It just leads to thinking too much, which sometimes helps with things like realizing my pet never gave me that key back, but mostly just makes me even more miserable.

Connections are stupid anyway. Just another way to hurt people.

Maybe I’d feel better if I killed someone’s family in front of them, leaving them just as alone as me. It’s worth a shot.

…After I finish my hour of rest. I don’t know why I’m doing this.

A/N: Let me know if I should tag anything else! Literally nothing happens in this chapter but if you preferred plot progression to meandering through a character’s thoughts you wouldn’t be on chapter 74 of Jane’s Pets lol

Tag list: @eatyourdamnpears @whump-in-the-closet @scp-1296 @fuzzybucketz

[larkawolfgirl]

Promnis Week- Dance

Prompto has never felt more out of place. He tugs at the tight fabric of his tux sleeves and tries to blend further into the shadows. Ignis helped him tailor it to a custom fit, but it feels more like a vice than an attachment, and he knows he must look silly in it despite Ignis calling it "befitting." The outfit probably costs more than his entire yearly rent and no amount of hair gel can hide the fact that he could never afford it in a million years. He's honestly still bewildered why Noct even thought it worth wasting his money on this tux just so that Prompto could attend this gala when Noct doesn't have the time to spare him. Nobels of all kinds flock to him, asking him to dance and making forced conversation. Unlike Prompto, he looks right in his element. He was literally born and raised for this.

Prompto hadn't wanted to even come, but Noct had argued that all three of them would miss him if he didn't. He doubts that. Gladio is dressed to the tens and socializing with drones of women, but he's still on duty (although Prompto assumes he's always on duty in the abstract sense) and can't move too far from Noct's side. Ignis is also a close shadow. While Gladio is obviously flirting, Ignis' demenor is nothing but polished dignitary. He speaks with whom Prompto can only assume are council members and dukes and the like.

Prompto is the one with the freedom but he chooses to remain hidden in the corner. Nothing is stopping him from mingling with them, but who's he kidding, he would die on the spot. He can't talk to a barron or whoever. And who's he to interrupt Gladio while he's on the prowl. And Noct? He's the center of attention. He doesn't have time to babysit his best friend. So, Prompto stays put, tugging at his tux and wishing he was home playing King's Knight instead.

"May I have this dance?"

Prompto’s head snaps up to see Ignis extending a hand to him. He chuckles at the gentlemanly display. “Heya, Iggy. Don’t worry about me. I know you probably need to keep chatting it up with the nobels.”

Ignis thins his lips. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Huh?” Prompto stares at his still extended hand. “You really want to dance with me of all people?”

Ignis’ lips turn up. “Why not with you?”

“Because,” Prompto uses his arm to gesture at the entire crowd, “there are at least 100 people to choose from who are way better than me.”

“Posh.” Ignis takes his hand and pulls him into a closed dance position. “There is no one here that I would rather dance with.”

Prompto can feel his face heating up at the compliment. “Y–you’re exaggerating.”

Ignis doesn’t break eye-contact as he begins to move them back and forth in a measured pattern. “Not at all. I like you quiet a lot, Prompto.”

Prompto gulps. “R–really? You don’t find me annoying?”

“What could I possibly find annoying about you?”

“I’m unconfident and nervous. I’m a commoner without any money and low ambitions. My parents barely even spare me the time of day, why would you?”

Ignis’ hand tightens on his back. “Oh, Prompto. You belittle yourself way too much. I see a charming man with great potential. You have no privilege, which means that everything you have earned you have done so with your own efforts. You push through when situations become tough. You treasure your friends more than anything else. I couldn’t have wished for anyone better to be Noctis’ best friend.”

Prompto’s gaze falls to the ground. “What about your own friend.”

Ignis lets go of his hand, using his hand to turn his chin up so that he will meet his eyes again. “I already have the two best friends I could have ever asked for.”

“Oh,” Prompto whispers.

“You, dear Prompto, are everything I could have asked in a partner.”

Prompto nearly trips from surprise. “What?”

Ignis steadies him and chuckles. “I would like to ask you out on a date, if you would be agreeable.”

“Oh, course!” Prompto nearly shouts. He is sure he is red in the face.

Ignis’ entire face glows with endearment. Prompto tries not to blink in case it turns out he is just imagining it. “Lovely. How about tomorrow after your class has finished?”

“S–sure thing, Igster.”

Prompto feels a bit lightheaded as they resume dancing. Is Ignis now his boyfriend? Is he dancing with his boyfriend? If so, he can’t work his head around how he went from eating fast food alone in a cold, dark apartment, to befriending the crown prince and dating his advisor. Perhaps he won the Astrals blessing by some means or another.

[clairdelunsblog]

there are legitimate reasons to dislike daniella, for me mostly the fact that her friends and family are openly zionists, but everybody on here calling here ugly, going out of their way to say she is uglier in person etc. is really just jealous of her lets be real. plus its a bit hypocritical to hate her so much for stuff like following right wing stuff like candace owens and trump without seeing how that relates to vince, like he abv agrees with her fews at least enough to date her 😭

also his close friends also follow a lot of righht wing accounts like Canadian conservative party insta and barron trump 😭😭

THANK YOU. literally my thoughts.

like i said i would never defend the girl because of those things, which are VALID things to dislike someone for, her editing her pics, trying to be an influencer, her drinking or idk what other nonsense y’all love to talk shit about that is so irrelevant, i mean i personally don’t give a fuck.

and literally😄 y’all hating on a woman this way screams insecure & jealousy one way or another☝🏼y’all wouldn’t give a fuck if she wasn’t dating a famous hockey player, which is btw, morally as fucked up as she is. people don’t go associating themselves with the complete opposite of themselves.

[enneagram-reblogs]

A few things to know about Type Nine.

From NineTypesCo by Steph Barron Hall.

Common Underlying Motivation To be at peace internally & externally

→ While the core motivation for Type 9s is often about peace, it’s also about balance and unity. They don’t just want to keep the peace - they want everything to be fair and equitable, so they’re driven to bring things into balance in that sense. 9s often move toward comfort, ease, and simplicity.

Consistently Avoiding Being the cause of conflict or disruption

→ Sometimes even internal conflict (such as bringing attention to strong beliefs they hold internally) can be uncomfortable.

You might not know that…

→ 9s have thoughts, feelings, and perspectives to share if you’ll take time to listen And sometimes 9s really don’t have an opinion on a topic, and that’s okay, too!

→ But NOT sharing isn’t always about avoiding conflict: it can also be because the 9 doesn’t feel safe to be open or share because they are afraid their perspective will be dismissed, interrupted, or disregarded. (Just because a 9 doesn’t shout their opinion from the rooftops does NOT mean it is unimportant to them.) And also, they sometimes might just not feel like sharing.

→ Some 9s learned early on in life that relationships can be fragile, so they prioritize keeping them intact, even if it means not speaking up.

→ But they’ll speak up when they deem it necessary, especially when they witness others experiencing injustice.

→ Not all 9s love candles and journaling and being alone - 9s can have literally ANY interest, and they can be outgoing, chatty, and competitive! Enneagram type ≠ interests, tastes, hobbies, etc.

→ 9s don’t always experience themselves as “easy-going.”

And BTW…

→ The term “sloth” associated with 9s has nothing to do with taking naps! If you like naps, knock yourself out! If you don’t, no worries!

“Sloth” refers to the passion of type 9. To read more about passions, click here.

See the image version of this post!

[outerbankies]

new light part 9: think twice — rafe cameron

new light series masterlist

summary: rafe already knew he messed up, the knowledge of your failed romantic gesture only confirming it; maybe a gesture of his own is enough to fix things.

pairing: rafe x reader

warnings: drinking, swearing, mentions of a false positive pregnancy (not for y/n, just gonna say that riiiight now)

a/n: hi!!! thanks so much for the response on part 8 🥲 i’m pretty excited about this one too. let me know what you think! and hey shoutout to @bmith for the name ideas for rafe’s roommate and his gf!

my writing

oh, you don't think twice 'bout me. and maybe you're right to doubt me

“When the fuck were you gonna tell me?”

“Um, literally never, if I could somehow figure out how to make that work,” you tell Kelce, shifting the phone to your other ear while you tried to find a seat in the stands at Barron’s swim meet. Beckham trails behind you, one hand holding yours, the other firmly grasped around the organic juice box you’d just bought him from the school cafeteria. You had just blinked at the employee slowly as she charged you $9, sliding Beau's credit card across the counter without another thought. “It only happened a week ago.”

“It’s been a week? What the fuck—Y/n/n,” Kelce scolds. “What even happened? He won’t tell me shit.”

“Are you—” you help Beckham up to his seat, making sure he’s settled in, rubbing a hand through his curls before turning back to your conversation. You knew coming to the pool deck for the first time since your breakup with Rafe was gonna suck—being around a pool reminded you of him before the two of you even got together. But you didn’t expect to deal with Kelce berating you while you did. “Are you back home this weekend?”

“Yes, dude. I’m literally in the bathroom at the Lodge right now,” he explains. “Top’s here too.”

“Ask her about—”

“Shut up, Top, I’m not asking her about the fucking yacht charter right now.”

“They both already paid their share, I just need to know who’s coming so I can—”

“How’s Rafe? You know his dad made him come home,” you ask, before you can help yourself. Your stomach had been in knots, thinking about Rafe having to face Ward. Having to tell him he was right, you guys were never gonna make it. The thought made you sick for multiple reasons.

“I mean it’s Ward, Y/n. We’re at this bar for a reason,” Kelce says, voice going softer. The Kildare Lodge was one of the dingier bars in town, at least from what you had heard. You would never be caught dead there, except to pick up Rafe from guys’ night a few times. Your heart aches at the memories of him leaning up against a streetlight outside, dopey smile pulling across his face when he saw your Range Rover approaching.

“Fuck, okay,” you say, trying to snap yourself out of it. Your eyes widen at the same time as Beckham’s.

“Miss Y/n, that’s a bad word,” he says.

“I know, Becks. Sorry.”

He accepts your apology with a firm head nod, turning back to watch his brother swim.

“Kelso, now isn’t really a good time,” you say.

“No, talk to me. He was just visiting you, I don’t understand what could’ve even happened? When we left for school, you guys were, like solid—”

Topper speaks up again. “I mean, he was kinda freaking out, dude. Remember when he texted us—”

“Topper, get out,” Kelce says. “Go check on Rafe.”

“Kelce.”

Your voice catches at the end, and the little boy beside you looks over at you anxiously. You just paste on a smile, brushing his hair back again.

“Y/n/n, I’m sorry,” Kelce says. “Are you okay?”

You look down the bleachers, finding Barron in the pool, waving at the two of you excitedly when he spots you. “Say hi to big brother, Beckham. Kelce, I’ll call you back later.”

“Y/n, no—”

“Ask her about the charter, Kelce—”

“Top, if you don’t—”

You hang up the phone, going to shove it to the bottom of your purse, stopping when you get a new text from Kelce.

You know I’m on your side, Y/n/n. Always. Say the word and I’ll beat his ass

“Miss Y/n, are you okay?”

You look down to where the little voice came from, Beckham’s eyes wide as saucers as he surveys you. He shifts toward you and you put your phone away to bring him into your lap.

“I’m okay.”

“Hug?”

You smile as you let him wrap his small arms around your neck, before turning him to face the pool once again. You give Barron a thumbs up from where he’s already looking for you, Beckham following in suit and waving with both hands.

“Y’know one day Beckham, you’re gonna be too big to sit in my lap. And you won’t even want to hug me anymore,” you say. He turns around, shocked.

“Will I be big and tall and strong? Like Mistuh Wafe?”

You suck in a breath. Why did literally everything have to be a reminder?

You meant to tell Agnes and Beau about Rafe, explain it to the kids and everything—which you shouldn’t have to do, but of course they worshipped him and wanted to know more about him everyday. But after Agnes found out she had a false positive, no time ever felt like the right time to bring it up. You could tell she was fine, just a little shaken up over it, but you weren’t going to burden her with any college relationship drama; and you didn’t want Beau wondering if any of it was his fault, even if a bitter part of you wonders if it was.

“Yeah, just like Rafe.”

“He hugs you. I could still hug you then,” he points out.

“Yeah, buddy, okay,” you smile.

—

Hey

You didn’t tell your mom we broke up?

It’s the first time you’ve heard from Rafe since the airport, after you promised to text him but didn’t, archiving your most recent Instagram post instead, even if you left up all the others. And you don’t know how you expected the silence to break—but it wasn’t this.

hi. not yet

I just ran into her at the club

With Wilbur

did you tell her?

No. Figured you had a reason not to

You resist the urge to thank him, ask how he is, how his visit with his dad is going, how Ward reacted to your break up.

Find out how his essay grade turned out (you knew he deserved nothing less than an A after your edits).

What he’s doing for his birthday next weekend, when he’s coming home for Thanksgiving. You want to tell him about the baby. About how his plant is doing, what stupid thing your ex said in your capstone, ask if he’s still going on the yacht Topper chartered for New Year’s.

Ask if he misses you as much as you miss him.

But you just tuck your phone in your desk drawer—your mind still racing at the thought of Rafe playing it cool with your mom like nothing is wrong, putting on appearances because he knows for some reason you didn’t want your mom to know. Still so in tune with you, still looking out for you.

You told your dad—but not really by choice. He’d called you the day you got back from the airport, funnily enough to ask about the new blinds. When you sent him a picture the day before of Rafe’s handiwork, you felt something warm settle into your chest at the idea of your dad knowing you had someone taking care of you. But when he called, singing Rafe’s praises and asking how the trip went, you broke down into tears immediately.

“We broke up, dad.”

“What? When?”

“Today, like four hours ago.”

“What happened? What did he do?”

“It was just too much for him, dad. And I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, and I said some mean stuff to him about his dad, and I just feel so horrible, I don’t even know why I let him leave in the first place—”

“Take a deep breath.”

You do, honestly astounded you have any tears left to cry at this point.

“Please don’t mention it to mom. I’ll tell her, just not yet,” you plead.

“When?”

“Figure I’ll give myself about three glasses of wine on Thanksgiving to work myself up to it,” you laugh, the weak attempt catching at humor in your throat.

“Hey,” your dad admonishes, but you can hear the smile in his tone. “I really am sorry, sweetie. I was betting on him—but it’s his loss.”

But you knew it was yours, too.

—

“I shouldn’t call him, right? It’d be weird if I did.”

“Oh, we’re still doing this?” Davis asks, looking up from where he’s painting his nails.

“I mean—” McCall starts, head in her hands. “Y/n/n, I can’t believe we’re still having this conversation. You don’t call your ex on his birthday. Especially when he’s a fucking scorpio.”

“Yeah, but,” you sigh. “He knows I know it’s his birthday. What if—”

“You know I was team Rafe all the way,” Davis says, then squints, considering. “Still am. But at least since you guys broke up you can come to Big Bear with us instead of going to visit him.”

McCall shoots you a look. “You were going to go visit him? On our road trip weekend?”

You nod, looking at the time on your phone. 2:30. You would have be taking off in 10 minutes.

“Yeah. It’s his birthday. Planned it ages ago.”

“You never told me that.”

You shrug. “It was supposed to be a surprise. I put his phone number as the contact information so he’d get random notifications about the flight path and be able to figure it out.”

You thought about going the whole nine yards, calling his roommates to coordinate a real surprise. But you at least wanted to give him time to wash his sheets; you knew Rafe, and he’d be mad if he wasn’t in mint condition for you. You did reach out to his roommate’s girlfriend, Nora, who already followed you on Instagram, trying to get a vibe for the weekend and what he had planned before you showed up.

You probably should’ve told her you wouldn’t be coming anymore, but she must know by now.

“Fuck,” you shake your head. “I can't believe I ate the cost of those tickets.”

“You didn’t cancel the flights?” Davis asks.

“No,” you burrow into the couch. “Tried. Made me sad.”

The money was nothing to you, sure. But you knew it was deeper than that; some part of you was holding out that you’d get the chance to talk to Rafe. He’d call you up, you would both immediately agree it was all a mistake, and you’d run and jump into his arms at the airport.

But here you sat, getting ready to go to one of Davis’s vacation houses instead, Wren, Delilah, and a few of your other friends on the way as you spoke. Not exactly how you pictured this weekend going, but you were welcoming the distraction.

“Aw, Y/n/n,” Davis says, patting your head sympathetically, but with a flexed hand so he doesn’t mess up his nail polish.

“Wait. You took his phone number off of the ticket though, right?” McCall asks, water bottle paused halfway to her mouth. Davis’s eyes widen when he looks at you. You’re silent.

“Oh my fucking god, Y/n,” he chastises.

“I’m an idiot. I’m such an idiot. It’s not taking off yet. He probably hasn’t—there’s no way—”

Your phone starts ringing. And it’s Rafe.

“What do I do? Oh my god,” you panic.

“Um, okay, fuck,” Davis says, capping his nail polish and standing up. “You are going to answer. And we are going to go outside.”

“What?” McCall asks. “No, either block his number or put that shit on speaker.”

“No, McCall. Leave her alone,” Davis says, already pushing her in the direction of the patio. “Y/n/n, you didn’t know if you should call him. Take this as a sign.”

You’re sure you just barely scrape by on the last ring, pressing answer as soon as the patio door is shut.

“Hello?”

It’s silent for a little bit, then his voice is finally coming through. “Hey. Hey, Y/n.”

“Rafe,” you breathe, the sound of him knocking you off kilter for a second. “Hi. Um, happy birthday.”

“Thanks, thank you.”

It’s silent for a second, neither of you taking the first step. You squeeze your eyes shut, hand on your forehead. “So, how has—”

“I got a weird notification—”

You both cut yourselves off. You just burrow your face into your hands, eternally grateful your roommates went outside. They still had their faces pressed up against the glass, you’re sure.

“Sorry. What was that?” he asks.

“I was just gonna ask how your day’s been going. Are you having fun?”

“Uh, sure. Yeah. My dad and Rose sent me a bottle of Dom. Going to the breweries in a bit,” he says.

“Oh, nice. Yeah, m’happy for you. So he wasn’t—ah, sorry.”

“What?”

“Just… I know you had to go see your dad last weekend. But he sent you the champagne so, must have not been that upset,” you say.

“Oh,” Rafe breathes, like he’s shocked you’d remembered. As upset as Kelce was with both of you, he clearly didn’t spill that you asked about Rafe. “No, yeah. It was fine. The usual.”

“That’s good.”

“Took a page out of your book, though,” he continues. “Didn’t really tell him about us yet.”

“Oh,” you say, feeling your eyebrows furrow. “But, it would’ve helped though, right? If he knew we weren’t together anymore.”

“Couldn’t stand him thinking he was right.”

“Rafe.”

“Listen, that’s not—I called because I got this text from Delta? About a flight coming into here from your city tonight,” Rafe says. “I was just wondering if you knew what that was about.”

It’s silent, and you have to take a deep breath in before you continue. “Yeah, um. Fuck, Rafe. I’m sorry, I meant to cancel it. But it just slipped my mind.” A little embellishing wouldn’t hurt—Rafe didn’t need to know you had opened the flight confirmation at least three different times, hovering over the cancel button before shutting your laptop every time. You could never make it all the way through, the several hundred dollars you’d lose didn’t hold a candle to losing Rafe a few weeks ago.

“Wait, you… you booked a flight out here? On my birthday?”

“Surprise,” you murmur lamely.

“When did you do that? I thought you couldn’t make it out here before Thanksgiving,” he wonders, and you can practically hear the wheels turning in his head, picture the contemplative look on his face as he sits in his desk chair that you’d seen so many times on FaceTime. In the bedroom, in the college house you’d probably never get to see now.

“Um, I booked it in August. Had to fib about the other weekends you wanted me to come so I could try to make it special,” you confess.

“You… no, you told me you couldn’t go to on that trip with your friends this weekend because you had to work,” he says, slower. It sounds like he’s trying to make himself believe it.

You just let out a shaky breath, going in for the direct approach. “Rafe, it was all lies. I’ve known I was coming to see you since before we even left the Outer Banks. Or, would’ve been. Your roommate’s girlfriend was in on it.”

“Nora?”

“Yeah, we exchanged numbers on Instagram.”

“Wow,” he breathes. “I—wow. I can’t believe you did that for me. Or, were going to do that—”

Your resolve breaks, and you try to mute yourself so you can sniffle but you’re not coordinated enough, Rafe’s voice coming through the speaker again before you can.

“Sweetheart?”

You suck in another breath. “You can’t call me that.”

“I know, shit. I’m sorry, Y/n/n. Reflex,” he whistles. “Are you okay?”

You shake your head, sniffling again since your cover is blown anyways. “I don’t know.”

“Cause I’m not,” he says. “I thought I did the right thing, Y/n/n, I couldn't hurt you anymore—I just had to cut it off, had to make it stop. But you booked a flight, Y/n/n? I don't even—”

In the background on his end, there’s a loud bang and the sound of his door opening, music spilling into the audio.

“Fuck, listen, we should really talk—”

“Cameron, get the fuck downstairs,” a voice says in the background. “The girls just got here and we’re leaving in five.”

Your body immediately runs cold.

“What? No, I told you not to—Y/n, gimme a sec,” Rafe rushes.

But you’re numb. “I’ll let you go, have fun with your uh… friends? Happy birthday.”

“Baby girl, no—”

“Cameron, you are not seriously sitting up here on your birthday talking to—”

You end the call before you can hear the rest, throwing your phone to the end of the couch like it’s burned you.

Davis picks up the motion, immediately throwing the sliding glass door open, McCall following shortly after. They take one look at your face, McCall sitting down on the couch by your feet and Davis sinking to the floor in front of you.

“Not good?” McCall asks. You just shake your head, pressing the back of your hands into your eyes to feel how puffy they are.

“I've never been more confused.”

You catch Davis putting on your do not disturb setting while Rafe calls you back incessantly. It doesn’t work because you still had him listed as a favorite in your contacts, meaning his calls would bypass the restriction. You hold your hand out for it and just shut it off completely.

“What do you need?” Davis asks.

McCall clears her throat, hands clasped together. “I think we make a no Rafe rule this weekend. If he calls—”

“He's gonna call.”

“—ignore it. Or let someone else answer. I personally would love to let him know what I think,” McCall snarks.

Just then, the front door swings open, Wren and Delilah tumbling in, Wren holding far too many bags for just one weekend, Delilah carrying only a bottle of champagne.

“Who’s ready to get fucked up in the snow?”

—

Rafe rounds on his roommate when his third call back goes straight to voicemail, breathing heavily. “God dammit, Graham, get the fuck out. Now.”

“Dude, it’s your birthday—”

“Hey, hey. What’s going on up here?” Nora comes up the stairs then, immediately stepping in front of her boyfriend. Rafe’s eyes drop to hers.

“You knew she was supposed to come?”

Nora’s eyes go wide, her mouth dropping open a little. “She… did she tell you?”

“Not on purpose. It came through on my phone.”

Nora furrows her eyebrows, looking at the floor in contemplation. “Why wouldn’t she cancel them? Or take you off, I don't—”

“I didn’t even get the chance to fucking ask,” Rafe sighs, dropping back into his desk chair, not before shooting Graham another glare.

“Your ex was supposed to come out here?” Graham asks, looking a little guilty.

“She has a name, dude,” Rafe grumbles. “Also, what the fuck? I told you not to invite the girls.”

Nora’s eyes widen, immediately rounding on her boyfriend in the doorway. “You told me to bring them. I fucking knew he wouldn’t be ready for this—Graham, what the hell?”

Graham shrugs, looking caught out under both of their gazes. “Just thought it’d be good for you, bro.”

“I’m not going,” Rafe says, already unbuttoning the dress shirt Graham had forced him into. He glares at the bottle of champagne his dad sent him that still sits unopened on his desk, shoving it as out of sight as possible.

It’s silent after that, Graham and Nora just casting Rafe worried glances while he doesn’t speak. Nora finally sighs, turning back to her boyfriend. “Bub, go downstairs and tell everyone to get ready to leave.”

“Okay,” he nods dutifully. “Er, sorry dude, no harm meant. I promise.”

Rafe nods, not shifting his gaze.

“I’m sorry, Rafe. He told me to invite my friends,” Nora says, once her boyfriend is down the stairs and out of earshot.

“Not your fault, Nora.”

“I’ll tell them to go home, if you still wanna come out with us? It’s your birthday after all,” she says from the doorway.

“I’d just bring everyone down. And I need to… I just need to think about how I’m gonna fix this. If I can.”

Nora just nods, turning on a heel and shutting his door. But she’s popping back into the room before she leaves. “You know, Rafe. She was really excited. She was messaging me about it the entire time you were out there, talking about how you had no idea, asking what you liked to do here so she could make your birthday perfect. I don’t know… I don’t think anything’s over yet. The fact that she didn’t even cancel...”

“I broke her heart, Nora,” he whispers. “She was planning this huge romantic gesture for me and I just—broke up with her at the airport.”

“Dick move, honestly,” Nora says, wincing apologetically when Rafe doesn’t react how she thought he might. “I think you’ll figure something out.”

He nods. “Tell Graham I’m sorry.”

“I won’t, he’s an idiot. He’s just been worried about you the last few weeks. I can’t promise he won’t get too drunk and cry when he gets home because he feels bad,” she laughs.

Rafe just gives her half of a smile, shooing her off before he's dropping his head into his hands.

—

Rafe tries his luck all night, trying to calculate how long you’d be in the car with your friends, staying up way later than needed due to the time difference. He fully springs out of bed when one call finally lands, not even giving you the chance to speak first. “Y/n, are you—”

“Uh, hey man, it’s actually Wren.”

“Oh,” Rafe breathes, sitting back down. “Uh, how are you?”

“Good. Listen, I don’t think this is a good time. Maybe call again Sunday, when we’re back at home?”

“Is Y/n okay?”

“She’s fine.”

“Then… why are you answering her phone?” Rafe asks, growing a little annoyed.

“Because my girlfriend asked me to. And in general, I do the things she asks me to do.”

“Whatever, man. Just give her the fucking phone.”

“Dude, you need to calm down. I’m not taking a side or anything here,” Wren says. “I’m neutral, promise—she’s one of my best friends but I like to think you’re a good guy.”

Rafe scoffs, fully ticked off now. “Wren, I appreciate that, but can you just put her on—you’re… I think you’re kinda overstepping here, dude.”

Wren lets out a humorless chuckle.

“Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you were inviting girls over two weeks after you broke up with her.”

“You have no fucking idea—is that what she told you? I didn’t even go out after she hung up on me,” Rafe rushes in exasperation. “I didn’t even invite them.”

“Just—whatever. You need to give her some time, Rafe. Alright? She’ll call you back when she’s ready. Don’t be that guy.”

Rafe knows he’s right, knows exactly how you are when it comes to handling things. And picturing how you must be doing right now—he knows he has no right, but he just has to ask. “Is she… how is she?”

Wren clicks his tongue, sighing in exasperation. “Y/n’s gonna be fine. She’ll call you back, Rafe. Have a good night. And hey, happy birthday.”

—

You do not call Rafe back. You skip three days of class in a row, recovering from the phone call (and the hangover) with reality TV and entirely too much chocolate oat milk, only coming out of your cocoon when nanny duties called or Davis asked you to look over his projects for him. When you didn't even come downstairs for Bachelorette night, Davis and McCall just climbed into bed with you, settling on either side and dragging every contestant way harder than they needed to.

You really thought about calling him, had been thinking about it basically since Wren slipped your phone back into your hand, puffing his chest out about how he’d ‘handled it’ for you, ruffling your hair.

But the hard exterior lost a little bit of meaning when, a few beers later, he was telling you he was pretty positive Rafe was your soulmate.

“Just hear him out, Y/n,” he’d said, pouring a round of shots for the two of you and Delilah in the kitchen of the chalet you were all staying in.

You’d just furrowed your eyebrows, looking at Delilah. She shrugged, taking her shot and not saying anything. “I’m sorry, who’s side are you guys on?”

“None, jesus, fuck,” Wren said, alcohol bringing out his potty mouth. “But you two are definitely soulmates.”

“Hard agree,” Delilah said, nudging your shot toward you. “But let’s leave that for Sunday Y/n to deal with, alright? You need to catch up.”

But you still hadn’t called. You wanted to, but you chickened out every time.

Until a delivery man shows up at your door holding a a beautiful white box, asking you to sign before walking away.

The box sits on your bedroom floor for exactly five minutes while you stare at, wondering what could be inside. You already know who it's from.

And then you're carefully tearing it open, air leaving your lungs when you see the familiar logo on the card, flipping it over to trace the lines of the cursive penmanship.

I'm sorry for all the things I've ruined.

-RC

Your hands are sliding under the tissue paper, and then it's silky smooth materials, ties and straps sliding through your fingers. It’s blue and then purple, cream and black, and then—blush pink.

It's your Midsummers dress. In every single color.

Your hands shake as you tap through your phone with one hand, the other still sifting through the entire box, running your hands over every single one.

“Y/n/n, hey.”

“Rafe, I’m just really confused right now.”

“What? Why? Did you get it?”

“Yes, Rafe. That’s why I’m confused, I don’t—you break up with me. And then you’re telling me you thought you did the right thing, but then you’re like—already moving on, apparently, and the dresses—”

“I’m definitely not moving on.”

“But Graham—”

He sighs. “No, Graham’s an idiot. Where are you?”

“In my room?”

The call clicks off, your phone going dark for less than five seconds before a FaceTime call comes in. You hate the way you check your appearance before clicking accept, tugging your hair out of its bun and tucking some strands back behind your ears. When you do accept, Rafe’s sitting on his bed.

He’s lost some of his tan since he came to see you, his stubble pretty grown in at this point. And his haircut had grown out of course, almost, almost hitting that sweet spot of your favorite version of him. A little unkempt, which he never liked to be—a telltale sign he wasn’t doing well.

“Uh, hi,” he starts.

“Hi.”

You fall silent, seeing the way his eyes dart around the phone screen, taking you in like you just had him. He shakes his head abruptly. “I told Graham not to invite them.”

“Who?”

“The girls, Y/n/n.”

“Right, yes,” you say, shaking your own head, still taking him in. “Sorry, I just—”

“It’s weird, seeing each other, huh?”

Rafe certainly didn’t lose the ability to read your mind after three measly weeks.

“Yeah. Weird,” you agree. “It's not really any of my business who you go out with anymore.”

His brow furrows. “It absolutely is your business, Y/n/n.”

“Why?”

“I’m not playing games—sending you things when I don’t mean anything by it. I don’t want any confusion on where we stand.”

“Well there’s a lot, Rafe. On my end, anyways,” you accuse. “Where we stand? You literally broke up with me.”

He clenches his jaw, the muscle movement visible under his skin. “You… but you agreed to it. I thought—I thought it would be best.”

“You don’t—you didn’t even ask if that was what I thought. You just said ‘I don’t know what else to do. Do you?’ And then I fucking told you and you still said no.”

“You said it first.”

“What?”

“We pulled up to the airport, and you said ‘we’re about to break up, aren’t we?’”

You pause at that, realizing he’s correct. And you don’t know what motivation you had to say it when you did—maybe some part of you didn’t want to feel blindsided. You wanted to feel like you took part in initiating it, when that couldn’t be further from what you actually wanted. The other part of you just wanted that reassurance, for him to call you crazy—tell you it hadn’t even crossed his mind when you knew it had. What if you had never said it? “Okay, blame game over. We broke up, end of. So, again, none of my business what you do on your birthday.”

“I didn’t do anything on my birthday but sit in my room all night figuring out how to get the shop to rush that order. And arguing with Wren, of all fucking people. I can’t believe he didn’t tell you any of this.”

You roll your eyes. “Rafe, you don’t have to lie—”

“Ask Nora. Ask Wren. I’m serious. I kicked them all out and stayed home,” Rafe says. “Look at me. We broke up three weeks ago, Y/n/n. I would never do that.”

You nod, compelled to believe him. You could always ask Nora later, but a part of you knew you didn’t need to. And Wren would’ve told you if he felt like Rafe was lying.

“I know,” you say, tears gathering on your waterline. “Um, thanks for calling to clear that up.”

“You called me,” Rafe points out.

“Yeah—wait. I did. The dresses, Rafe,” you ask, reaching for the tissue box on your nightstand. “You’re crazy.”

“I told you I’d replace it.”

You wipe your tears in haste, but you can’t help the sniffles that remain. “What even changed?”

“What do you mean?”

“I only hear from you once about my mom and my dog, and then suddenly you’re like calling me, talking to my friends—”

“I knew I fucked up the moment you drove away,” he admits. “And I’ve missed you since then, too.”

You shake your head. “But—”

“It was the birthday trip, sweetheart,” he interrupts, and you let him get away with the nickname this time. “When we got together—and you told me in high school you weren’t good enough for me, but I was just showing you were?”

That conversation, and that night, is an easy memory for you to recall. You still get giddy thinking about the champagne and the waiter and the way his touch had felt on your skin under the lights. Everything still so, so new between you two—yet still feeling like something that was a long time coming, something finally slotting into place.

“Y/n.”

“Yeah, sorry. I remember,” you say, cheeks warming up. You hope Rafe can’t see it through the phone camera, but you can catch the look in his eye.

“It’s just like that,” Rafe says. “I spent an entire weekend just panicking like an idiot over everything—and I think I did what I had to do to fix it, and then I’m completely unsure immediately after… and then I get this stupid automated text from an airline.”

“It was my fault for not canceling it,” you say immediately. “I’m sorry you found out.”

“No, what? Don’t apologize.”

“It was your birthday, Rafe. I didn’t mean to—”

“No, it was—no. I think it’s literally the most someone has ever cared about me. In my life. And even if I fucked it up, and you didn’t even get to come, it was...” he trails off, his eyes glassy now.

“Rafe.”

“I know, shit,” he says, blinking rapidly and clearing his throat. “But anyway, uh. That’s what changed, Y/n/n. But I—I just need you to know that I fucked up. And I know it.”

You nod your head slowly, trying to let his words sink in fully. The confusion was gone—Rafe wanted you back.

But where you two were supposed to go from here was beyond you.

“If it’s any consolation, you kind of inspired me,” you finally say, gauging his reaction when you throw him a bone.

“Huh?”

“That move you pulled at the airstrip, back in August?”

“Ah,” Rafe sighs, a smile forming on his lips. “That was pretty smooth, wasn’t it?”

“Of course, had to top it.”

“Well, you did. Or, would have, I guess,” he says, the volume of his voice tapering off until he’s merely mumbling the end of the sentence.

A reminder goes off on your phone that Barron and Beckham’s playdate ends in an hour, and you swipe it away, glancing back down at the camera. “I have to go pick up the kids in an hour, and I look like this right now, so I should really—”

“You look beautiful. Even though I hate it when you cry.”

You bite your lip, the reminder that you two are anything but okay right now a little too much to handle after his compliment. “Thanks, for the dresses. And for talking to me. It was… nice.”

“I need to see you when we get home.”

You blow out a breath, the hair around your face shifting slightly at the motion. “Um—I’ll think about it?”

“Yeah, okay. All I can ask for, I guess,” he says calmly, but you can read his face, notice the tiniest of victories present in his features. “I love you, Y/n/n.”

Something heavy in your chest lifts at hearing him say those words, but you’re not quite there yet, just nodding one more time before you hang up, before he can see the matching smile forming on your face.

—

tags: @moniamaybank @downbytheouterbanks @littlementalpolaroids @fangirlvoice @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @amourtentiaa @loveylangdon @oopsiedoopsie23 @sodasback @arvinrussellseggplant @cooper8224 @rafeyybabyy @lemur46 @cameronsrafe @imjustanothernerd @judayyyw @irlpadfoot @synonymforlame @tinawhynot

[billdecker]

i feel so much better today!!

for the first time in YEARS (this is no exaggeration) i had a proper night of sleep. i was so knackered i went to bed at 7pm and woke at 4am, only waking up once in between. when i woke i did my first bit of writing in days, made cecil’s breakfast (he’s now very happily snuggled next to me), and now i’m watching my daily classic who story. 

i’m up to resurrection of the daleks. what i love a lot about 80s who is actors from my childhood are on it. as if peter davison isn’t a king enough already for the button moon, you’ve also got rula lenska! rodney bewes! i last watched classic who about 12 years ago now so i’d totally forgotten about these people being in it. i was super excited when keith barron was in enlightenment. he’s one of those actors who is like a household meme for me and d. i don’t know why but we get super excited when we spot keith barron in anything lol. i watched minder last year (dennis waterman is a weird household meme for us too) and i was excited when he popped up in that. 

d went to have his dressing changed yesterday and on the way back a tree fell down at the end of our road. we live off a tiny little hidden secret driveway off one of the main roads into our town, across from the town common and museum. the road was blocked on the way back so my dad had to drop him off at the end so d had to walk the way back. then literally five minutes after he was home, the tree by our flat block toppled over so we had to report it to the housing association

i was looking out of the window when it happened. it fell so easily it was like someone pushed it over with their finger. a tree fell in front of my sister’s friend’s car after the school run. it missed my sister by only a minute. i was only 4 when the great storm of ‘87 happened so i don’t really remember it, but my parents said around here got away really lightly. 

lol i’m using this place like my lj from years back. i promise i’ll stop when things are more settled! no one wants to keep reading my boring trail of thought. all i’ve gotta do today is cecil’s litter tray and make meals. i managed not to burn myself yesterday but i did cut my finger. 

i am getting less overwhelmed by things even tho it still all feels very stressful and difficult. i’m trying to adapt. making lists of what i’ve gotta do it helping, even down to the tiniest detail - pick up mug, pick up cecil’s food bowl, open kitchen door, put mug in sink, etc etc. it makes me feel slightly pathetic but it’s the only way i can get through it all. if i don’t i feel too overwhelmed by what i’ve got to do and it feels like my brain goes into meltdown. 

still haven’t binge eaten either. about six weeks ago i started using one of those calorie counting apps and meal planning for the week just to help to bring routine to my day when it came to eating and it’s helped me so much. if i didn’t have that all planned out already it would be another stress i would find difficult to cope with. honestly, i’m so looking forward to getting stronger and seeking out an assessment because i need to make some sense of why i find simple life stuff so difficult to process. 

[another-whump-sideblog]

Hypothetically— could we have a scene with barron helping liam learn magic or giving wise mage advice?

Yep! I had a lot of fun with this one, I hope it’s as entertaining to you as it was to me 😅

“Barron? Why does it feel like the people who wrote these books really don’t like other magical creatures?”

You’ve been sitting in Barron’s room reading while it painstakingly carves runes into some brightly colored rocks, asking questions whenever they come up. They come up a lot.

“Hmm. The relationship between human mages and other magical creatures is… strained. We’re not well liked by other creatures. Culturally, we’re very different.” Barron pauses. “I guess it’s not fair to say that they just don’t like us because of their culture. It’s… more complex than that.”

You expect Barron to keep going, but it doesn’t. “How so?”

“…Human mages have a very different approach to magic than other creatures, even other mages of different species. In order to be a human mage, you have to have sought it out, gone against standard human wisdom and believed that magic existed and was something you could learn without much evidence. I guess some mages are raised by other mages, and they aren’t always like that. And usually mages raised with magic connect with other magical creatures more easily, because to them magic is just a fact of life. One that influences how they live and how they will die and everything in between, in positive and negative ways. So mages raised with magic tend to have more positive relationships with other magical creatures.”

Barron pauses again. You push. “Why would seeing magic differently mean other creatures don’t like you?”

“It… doesn’t, necessarily. We approach things differently, so conflict happens, but if it was just that… things would be different. There’s… some bad history, there. Human mages would… experiment on other creatures. Like I said, human mages seek magic out. Not all mages are so curious that they’d hurt other creatures to learn, not even the majority, but… enough. And it wasn’t condemned by other mages when stuff like that happened, back then.” Barron seems very uncomfortable. “Of course, that very rarely happens anymore. Now, mage society treats hurting other magical creatures the same as hurting humans. But other creatures haven’t, ah, gotten over it, for lack of a better term. Especially the longer lived ones. There are no human mages still alive who participated in that stuff back then, but there are a lot of victims of it still alive.”

Something about the way Barron is talking is kind of familiar, but you can’t quite put your finger on why. You think you would’ve been able to if you’d never fucked up your head, but that thought process will just make you frustrated, so you push it aside.

“They don’t trust us, and a lot of human mages see that as an overreaction, since we don’t do that anymore. We’ve tried to build more positive relations with the rest of the magical community, but for a lot of human mages the motivation for that is just to learn more about other kinds of magic, which makes other creatures feel like we haven’t changed at all. That we… still treat them as sources of information rather than equals. Not all of us do. But enough. And their lack of cooperation has led a lot of human mages to think of other creatures as… well, what you’ve been reading. Beneath us, incurious about the world, stubborn to a fault, etc.”

“…Yikes.”

“It is yikes, isn’t it? And I didn’t even think to give you that context before you started reading. I warned you not to take stuff too literally, but warning you about how one-sided the discussion of other magical creatures is didn’t even occur to me. I didn’t think about it. I… need more non-human friends. But I guess that’s just doing what I just talked about, seeking out friendship for information, to fill a blind-spot, rather than for the kind of motives other creatures think we should have. But yeah, don’t take the things said about magical creatures in there at face value.”

“Got it.”

A few pages later, Barron speaks up again. “It’s not like non-human creatures are perfect. You know how a vampire took Diya and a faery took Ray, and those species abducting humans isn’t super out of the ordinary. Not all, or even most, but enough. Though you’re much more likely to be abducted or hurt by a member of your own species than another. I just mean, like, I’m not saying what human mages did was okay, but we have reason to fear them too. I guess that’s less of a human-mage thing and more of a human thing, though. We’re less vulnerable than the average human. It’s just… complicated.”

You nod. “It feels… different, knowing that. Like I’m not just learning magic, I’m joining this group, and this group has done a lot of bad stuff.”

Barron shrugs, again sounding uncomfortable. “I guess. There are some humans that know magic that don’t associate with the human mage label, for that reason. Obviously I’m okay with being associated with that history, but you don’t have to be. I won’t pressure you to call yourself a mage if you don’t want to. I can’t promise other creatures will see at as different just because you call yourself something different, though. And any creature can be a mage, so you’d be associating with human-mage history, but also mage history in general.”

“…I’ll think about it.”

“Yeah, of course. There’s no need to choose what to call yourself right now. Hey, look at this.” Barron holds up a shiny red rock with a rune carved into its side. “Pop quiz, what does that rune do?”

You don’t recognize the rune. “Uh… does it make shields?”

“Not even close. It’s an invisibility spell. Want to try? Do you remember the words and motions?”

You don’t, so you flip through the book until you find it.

“Okay, you need to have an idea in mind of why you want to be invisible, outside of practice.”

“Hmm… like what?”

“To hide from something, to steal something, to eavesdrop. Or something else.”

“Would wanting to hide from Jane work? I always want that.”

“Maybe. You can try.”

Barron hands you the rock and you recite the words and motion the way the book instructs. You want to hide from Jane. You want go be so hidden that even if she finds the cabin she can’t find you.

The rock vanishes, consumed by the spell. Your hand vanishes too.

You look down at yourself, but don’t see anything. “That’s kind of freaky…”

“Did you know your eyes turn yellow when you cast?”

“I suspected. Diya mentioned it, when you were sick.”

Oh. Well, you did great with the invisibility spell, especially for your first time casting that one. It’s a very useful spell for all sorts of things.”

“I bet.” You try to look at your hands. They’re still not there. “It makes your clothes invisible, too?”

“This version does. Some don’t. Like if the rune was put on a different material.”

“Ah. How long does this one last?”

“Depends on the intention behind it. Not how long you intend to be invisible, it just works better with different intentions. This one lasts the longest with the intent to steal, so with the intention to hide it should only last an hour or so.”

“How long would it work if my intention was to steal?”

“Three to four hours. If you cast the spell several times in a row, it can go much longer.”

“Oh, cool! Is that true with other spells with a time duration?”

“Most of them.”

“Cool.”

You’re not sure what to do now. “I guess… I’ll keep reading? Invisibly, until it wears off?”

“If you want. How’s your head?”

“It doesn’t even hurt.” You lie. It’s not a big lie, though, it only hurts a little. You can read for another hour.

“I’m glad. I’m going to carve some more runes into these rocks. Do you want to try the shield spell next?”

“Ooh, yeah!”

Barron nods and gets back to work. You read a little, but mostly you end up distracted by how the book looks like it’s flying when you hold it.

You’re actually invisible. You’re invisible because of a spell you cast, because you’re learning magic, which is crazy. You never even imagined that you could end up like this.

You’re more powerful than ever, and Barron’s a good teacher. You’re excited to learn lots more magic from it. Maybe Barron can even teach Kit and Dollie some stuff when they get here!

[itskyleeyo]

tfatws brain dump

SPOILERS FOR THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

let's talk about tfatws. this show is absolutely fucking amazing and deserves so much hype. this is just gonna be an overall brain dump about the whole series, but i'm probably going to rewatch soon, so expect single episode brain dumps (this is a very big maybe cause i'm a lazy bitch newayz). also please reply with how you feel because i'd love to discuss this and hear your opinions!

the soul gazing scene?? literally i haven't seen like anyone talk about this?? it hurt my heart so much bucky must be protected at all costs he's so precious. my mans got real vulnerable and they never bring it up again and i'm like ??? that's such a good line/plot point to discuss and write about, but they just threw it out there and left it to dry. not cool marvel >:( and also we would've gotten a little more insight on how that affected sam? cause idk about you, but if someone said that to me, it would totally rock my shit. and sam seemed fine? idk i wish they'd elaborate on this because its totally loaded with heartache and potential.

sharon being the power broker! literally absolutely fucking fantastic! destroy the government from the inside! i love that we get to see her as more than "steve's fling" and also that she's angry! i feel like non-heroes are always expected to just be okay with whatever the heroes do because, well, they're the heroes, and its nice to have real, valid emotions portrayed when someone you thought loved you, uses you, and then leaves you in literal exile. The revenge plot is something that you see used a lot in action movies, but this is really the first time where i look for a fault in her justification and really? i don't think there is one. sharon has been through so much shit because of steve, the avengers, and the us government in general that the justification is 100% there in my eyes. the amount of anger and hatred she is hiding? that takes some skill. and also the inner monologue of how peggy would feel about this? like sure, fuck the government, but also, she was your aunt peggy. not just some bitch with a banging work ethic. i 100% think that sharon will continue to destroy the government (as she should), but i see one of two things happening: we are going to see her try to justify herself in the eyes of peggy (she's already justified in her own eyes) or sam/bucky/whoever are going to try to use her relationship to peggy to get her to stop.

mr john walker. there is so much about this man that i despise, but for now i'm actually gonna talk about the writing. why? does he always end up with sam & bucky? i feel like we're all missing the refusal we expected. like this dude is straight up awful but they're like "you're here, i guess we'll work together." no! fuck him! you literally despise him why are you working with him?? and another thing about walker's writing. why does he always do "the right thing" at the last second. like he literally murdered someone in broad daylight doing the right thing goes against the entire buildup of hid character? like marvel what are you doing he's supposed to be an asshole, please stop trying to give him any sort of redemption. he doesn't deserve it and it's wildly out of character.

mr cool gay uncle bucky barnes. its just so fantastic. like he looks genuinely happy in the moment. he's no longer ashamed of his arm and he's learning to deal with his past. i feel like this is one of the first times people see his as something other that "a killer" or "a freak." honestly, i think this is one of the first times he sees himself as something other that "a killer" or "a freak." it shows that he is, however slowly, growing to accept himself, and that makes me very happy.

BARRON FUCKING ZEMO. this man is both a dilf and a sugar daddy and is quite literally now one of my favorite marvel characters ever. He thrives off of power, but is willing to give up all power if it means that what he believes is the "right thing" happens. He has personal motivation, a legitimately achievable goal (compared to most other villans), and is fairly justified in his wishes. He somehow manages to do really shitty things while still being somewhat justified and that takes a lot of skill. i feel like no one touches on the fact that he's incredibly smart and a quick thinker? and also like super brave (or stupid, depending on how you look at it)? like mans pulled out a gun and shot somebody right in front of sam and bucky, and that was both highly intelligent and profoundly stupid. but it ended up working out in his favor. and don't even get me started on that scene in madripor. when bucky had to pretend to be the winter soldier? do you know how much of a power trip that gave zemo? how he knew that bucky was on the edge of losing it the entire time? this man has so much more to him than anyone (both characters and fans) seems to notice and its really disappointing because he's such a complex and interesting character and i love him dearly.

[staliasjeronica]

for the ask thing for jeronica 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, and 7 <3

Pairing: Jeronica

1. If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it?

I would have liked them to meet at a bookstore or library because they both are into reading, but that would be too normal and mundane for Riverdale to have anyone outside of couples to bond after s1 SO I’ll have to go with a version of the pilot that I’ve actually written! I wrote about Jeronica meeting instead of Veronica going over to Barchie in my rewrite, you can read it here (link)!

2. What song fits your pairing the most?

Oh God… there’s SO many that can fit them. It really depends on the situation…. but there is a Jeronica playlist (link) that has a lot. And in the Jeronica Nation Discord, there’s a chancel for songs or videos that remind us about Jeronica and @half-ok posted a song called Just Friends by Ally Barron (link) and GODDD it fits so perfectly it hurts!!

3. What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing?

Literally I love everything for Jeronica and everything slaps so hard but enemies to lovers/secret dating/or grown up Jeronica (with kids/family) are the best. Give me all of them. Also, I love the fics that point out just how perfect they are together because I cannot pinpoint them all since my memory is awful :(

5. Favorite canon moment of them?

We’ve gotten so little I can’t choose between them… I love their kiss because you can see how Jughead never thought she’d actually kiss him and he’s lowkey scared/surprised at first but then he’s the one leaning into her and pushing himself forward from the edge of the hot tub. I love when Jughead comes to make sure Veronica’s okay when her father is back (there was actually a short drabble written about it before Jughead entered here enjoy Jeronica’s! Link) and it’s such a genuine moment that we only ever get from them or Barchie when the show actually has normal moments. Ughhhh if I had to choose between those it’d have to be the hot tub scene.

6. Least canon moment of them?

Again we don’t really get canon, non-crumbs that we have to literally go find but I HATE when Jughead attacks Veronica for what her FATHER does. I’m sure people judge(d) him for what his (EX) GANG LEADER father did and him doing the same thing to Veronica (not only is a parallel) makes my blood boil because she doesn’t deserve that.

7. Favorite headcanon/trope?

God there’s so many I accept and love… It kind of depends on the fic I’m making at the moment but I really love the hc that they get together and stay together, like they’re so perfect for one another and they love one another and are happy as can be and have this sweet little family away from Riverdale and they make sure that their kids (if they have any) don’t go through the toxicity they did growing up.

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Reaper of Souls by Rena Barron

Summary: After so many years yearning for the gift of magic, Arrah has the one thing she’s always wanted—at a terrible price. Now the last surviving witchdoctor, she’s been left to pick up the shattered pieces of a family that betrayed her, a kingdom in shambles, and long-buried secrets about who she is. 

Desperate not to repeat her mother’s mistakes, Arrah must return to the tribal lands to search for help from the remnants of her parents’ people. But the Demon King’s shadow looms closer than she thinks. And as Arrah struggles to unravel her connection to him, defeating him begins to seem more and more impossible—if it’s something she can bring herself to do at all.

Set in a richly imagined world inspired by spine-tingling tales of voodoo and folk magic, Kingdom of Souls was lauded as “masterful” by the School Library Journal in a starred review. This explosively epic sequel will have readers racing to the can’t-miss conclusion. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: A messy sequel to an amazing series, we get to see the after effects of the fall out of Arrah vs. Efiya from KOS… and when we tell you it is MESS!!!

~Spoiler-Full Review Below~

The Good: 

→ Arrah and Dimma

Geena: One of my favourite things about Reaper was the sprinkle of Dimma’s POVs throughout the story. We got an insight into Dimma’s life before she was Arrah, and how her relationship with the other Orisha and Daho developed. It also really helped build up the suspense near the end and set up plot twists that clocked us near the end. Dimma aside, let’s talk about Arrah. Rena Barron said brooding boys are out, brooding girls are IN! And you know what, we love to read it. The story starts off with Arrah trying to save Sukkar after she snapped all his bones while trying to save him, and she does save him :) Or so she thinks but that’s besides the point. Over the length of the book we follow Arrah’s inner turmoil of suddenly having the power of 10 tribal chieftains and being insecure about whether or not she even deserves it.

I loved Arrah, even when she was holding herself up to a terribly high bar and beating herself up about everything she did. Arrah helped bring her Auntie back from the dead and was like “Damn I suck :/” and thought shattering a girl’s glass (who was flirting with Rudjek) put her on the same level as her mom and Efiya. I was sitting there like NO GIRL YOU’RE PERFECT, YOU, YOUR MISSING TOOTH AND YOUR PETTY NATURE!! 

Kae: YAAAAAAAAAS! Geena summed Arrah and Dimma up perfectly. 

But I would like to add how much I love Arrah and how selfless she is. She’s always thinking about her friends and their safety, the safety of the tribal people, and of course the kingdom. She’s a worry woman, but for all the right reasons. And she also cares about herself; so much even that like Geena said, she beats herself up for the smallest of things. She’s so worried about being evil like her mother and her sister, that she calculates every single move that she makes, debating if it’s really worth it to use strong magic or not. 

As for Dimma, I loved her POV’S. She is a complex character who has been demonized since book 1. We were taught to believe, through the POV of some of the Gods, that Dimma was a horrible Goddess who wrought nothing but chaos. They erased her name from history, LITERALLY. And Dimma became known as the Unnamed Orisha. While reading her POV, we learn that Dimma was quite selfless, much like Arrah (since they are technically the same person). Dimma was full of love and loved even harder. She went out of her way to give Daho immortality as well as his people, because she loved them so much. She defied the rules of the universe for her love, and it only came to bite her in the ass in the end. Like her siblings told her, “A God’s love is a dangerous thing.” And it was, but not exactly for the reasons one might think.

Geena:  Kae’s summary of Dimma and Arrah is AMAZING, you know my ability to connect dots when reading is kinda shit so reading Kae’s summary gave me realization…  Arrah tries so hard to separate herself from Dimma, because she refuses to believe that a part of her is in love with Daho because she herself is in love with Rudjek… but it’s like girl… you have travelled to the ends of the earth to fight and bring back the people you love (the tribespeople) just like Dimma searched the ends of the universe for immortality to give to Daho. It’d be much easier to reconcile your feelings if you just accepted that “Okay, I may have been Dimma but now I am Arrah”

Also another thing I love about Arrah is how she had…. For a time… three dudes in love with her… or at least what she thought was three dudes. Real hot girl shit. 

→ Rudjek and Daho

Geena: You know the character archetype that’s like a snarky boy who knows he’s hot shit and acts accordingly, but when it comes to the person he’s in love with he’s just a bowl of mush. That’s Rudjek, and only Rudjek can pull it off. In KOS, he was slated to be the next vizier because of his father, in Reaper he’s known as a prince because his dad snaked his way into becoming the monarch. So, now he’s the snarky prince…. And the only snarky prince with rights! His POVs were actually so fun to read, like following the politics of the Kingdom and him dealing with his new craven powers…. Which also had him being able to smell pheromones when people were doing the dirty around him 😭

I really liked that Rena gave him a POV, because now we get to see how he develops given the fact that him and Arrah are dangerous to one another, because he saps her magic with a single touch and could kill her. The whole time Arrah is stressing like “Damn, what if he doesn’t like me anymore because we can’t touch” meanwhile Rudjek is like “I’ll fight the Gods if I have to, to keep her by my side” and it’s like 🥺Also, who let a teenager be in control of a whole army… I thought the vizier was a sly and smart man but I digress… Another thing I liked about Rudjek in this book was that he didn’t shy away from uncomfortable conversations with Arrah, regarding the fact that he confused Efiya for Arrah when they did the unspeakable in the clearing in KOS. Like, that was very mature of them and I’m glad they could deal with that misunderstanding… But… hands down… my favourite scene… During the climax of the book Rudjek gets a demon soul shoved down his body, and immediately assumes it’s the demon king…. And his only command to his friends is to not let him near Arrah😭😭😭 I was like PEAK ROMANCE, SOFTEST SHIT, SACRIFICIAL LOVER!!!!! 

Kae: SO GEENA SUMMED UP RUDJEK SO DAMN WELL. LIKE DUDE OMG? Correct. He is perfect. I really don’t have much to add but I just genuinely loved him as a character. He is caring for both Arrah and his friends. He is also one of the few male characters I’ve read that actively tries to go against their father. Most dudes in books are like “Fine puhpa, I shall do your evil bidding.” But Rudjek is like “Sike bitch, I’ll let you think that but I’m doing what I WAAAANT!” 

But okay, let’s talk about Daho. So first off, I love him??? Am I a villain sympathizer now? Tbh, I don’t really see him as a villain. Man’s didn’t commit a genocide or try to scheme Arrah out of her pants. AND HE VERY MUCH HAD THE CHANCE TO and he was like “nah.” And I appreciate that. Because there are a few certain villainous men who I shan’t name, that be on that scant shit. And Daho is just like… genuinely trying to avenge his wife’s death (Dimma) and try to get Arrah to remember that she is Dimma. 

YES, I know he got Arti to bring him back. BUUUUUT, he didn’t tell her to kill a bunch of kids and shit to do it. Arti did all that evil shit on her own and Daho was like “look, i don’t condone that shit. But it’s over and I’m sorry it happened but I can’t change it.” And I’m like… okay, mood. I get it. Daho is sweet and caring. He looked out for Arrah in *redacted’s* body because we didn’t know *redacted* was dead the whole time. And even then, Daho was still like “My bad… But he wasn’t using his body??? So I took it???” Why let it go to waste, amiright? 

Geena: STOOOOP FOR REAL HE WAS LIKE “It was empty, I didn’t think you’d mind” 

Kae: LMAOOO OKAY BUT DEADASS. And like, idk man. He just seriously isn’t a bad person. He was trapped because after the God’s killed Dimma, he was like “BET IMMA JUST KILL THEM” and they lowkey were shook so they trapped his ass in a box for a millenia or whatever. He wasn’t even out to kill all humanity or anything. The God’s were just being some haters and now he’s suddenly the bad guy. Anyway, we stan Daho in this house. 

Geena: Daho is how you write a sympathetic villain. He owns up to his own mistakes even while his demons run free terrorizing people. Kae said it best that he just wants justice for his wife and unfortunately history is written by the victors so the Orisha painted him out to be a bad guy… My dude was just chugging that respecting my wife juice and they killed her… and he also thinks they killed his son… Guess me and Kae are just villain sympathizers now 

The Bad:   

→ The Ending 

Kae: Okay, let’s get it. And I also just want to clarify that when we say “the bad”, we don’t mean we hate it. This is just something that was like “oh fuck, this is BAAAAD! THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GO DOOOWN.” 

But like, good Lord. The ending? That shit was crazy. First of all, we find out that *redacted* aka, SUKKAR. OUR SWEET, PLAYFUL, SARCASTIC SUKKAR. IS DEAD. HE HAS BEEN DEAD THIS WHOLE TIME!? Excuse me while I *SCREEEEEEEEEEEAM*. Like, what an unforeseen twist. This mf kicked the bucket back in KOS when Arrah tried to save him. Turns out… She maybe… Totally… possibly… Absolutely killed my guy on accident. He dead-dead. And this is how we find out that Daho took over his body, once Sukkar’s spirit ascended. It was a really sad reveal and my heart kind of hurt reading it. I straight up wasn’t expecting that to happen. THEEEEEN. GOTDAMN EFIYA. IS BROUGHT BACK. 

Geena: No joke, the ending of Reaper was just one sucker punch followed by another… At first you think Tyrek (the prince from KOS who joins Arrah and her crew on a journey to save the tribespeople) is the demon king, then you think it’s Rudjek because he’s getting possessed, and then you learn it’s Sukkar… The final punch to the gut was Daho bringing back Efiya because his close general asked for her… because she’s his daughter. We were like, DAHO ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU SAW THE DAMAGE SHE DID TO THE HUMANS!!! Like Efiya may have grown quickly in a few months but her brain isn’t fully developed, like that girl is UNHINGED!!! I thought we were done with the Efiya chapter but here we are, and I’m scared to see what role she’ll play in the final instalment of the series. I guess this is the case of bringing back an old villain that can work out really well…  I trusted Rena with the messy Arrah/Daho/Rudjek love triangle, so I trust her with this too 

The Ugly:  

→ Tyrek 

Geena: Remember how I said Rudjek is the only valid snarky prince… Yea, Tyrek can CHOKE!! In KOS he sides with Efiya and she wreaks havoc in the Kingdom, and in Reaper he’s brought to his knees. Rudjek’s dad wants to execute him for his crimes, but Arrah sympathizes with him because she knows how Efiya’s mind control worked. As you read, you get a sense of “Okay, maybe he isn’t bad, he’s helping Arrah and them” but then you get to the climax and you’re like okay nvm this boy was insane… Imagine travelling to a whole other dimension and making deals with demons, because you’re in a fucked up sort of romance with a half-demon girl. He managed to lie to Arrah that he was being controlled by Efiyah, when he was really with Efiya the whole way…. Even when she told him to murder his whole family… this man was vile!! He’s also one of our first fake outs, when he pretends to be the demon king I was kinda disappointed… I was like no this ruins the messy love triangle I’ve been waiting for! But it was just a fake out, Tyrek was just trying to scare Arrah into freeing Efiya, whose soul was in the demon dagger that Arrah used to kill her in KOS. Overall, 1/10 for this man… the 1 point is for when he figured out “Sukkar” had a crush on Arrah before Arrah even knew.  

Conclusion 

Kae: So, I don't have much to add to Tyrek’s snake ass. He really was ugly in the end. I’m glad he’s dead. 

But to conclude, this was such an amazing, refreshing read. Reaper of Souls was a wonderful sequel to Kingdom of Souls. Rena writes so beautifully and she didn’t hesitate to have us readers shaking in our boots. Getting more background information on Dimma, the Gods, and their old ass war, was really fun and insightful! IT added to the story in a way I hadn’t even thought about until I was consuming it all! 

Arrah and Rudjek are perfect angels and I can’t wait to see where book three leads them. I also want to give a shout out to Essnai and Majka for being such good friends to Arrah and Rudjek. Same to Kira and the Cravens. This is a really close knit group of friends who will go to the ends of the Earth (and literally new dimensions) for each other. THAT’S LOVE, BITCH. And we LOVE to see it. 

Geena: For real! Rena Barron set up such an amazing cast of characters, and she really emphasizes the power of friendship in her series and it’s one of my favourite things to read. With Reaper, from the very start, she sets up the story in such a way you’re literally screaming by the end… I think it requires a special kind of skill to be able to set up a story so well that while you do make predictions about what’s going to happen, it still shocks you when you realize you’re right. Cannot wait to see the absolute mess that will be the final book, with Rudjek/Arrah vs. Daho… and the drama it will bring now that the Orishas realize that Arrah is Dimma’s reincarnation.  

[pinkatron]

Of Winters and witches.

Dandelion slipped into the chair across from Geralt, looking harried as he placed one of the tankards of beer in front of the witcher.

“Heaven help us Geralt, I am just glad we got a room.” He bemoaned, as a roaring group of buskers had already taken up the front of the large tavern and inn’s house.

“It’s just as well.” Geralt sipped at the beer, which was actually frothy and cold. “A simple stop over, previous contract was paid well, and you made a mint off that barron and his wife. It’s a good start to the spring season, and I still haven’t shaken off the winter from my bones so a night of rest and merriment is perhaps exactly what is needed.”

Dandelion looked at him, grinning slyly.

“Merriment you say?” He arched his fingers gracefully over his beer. “Caught the eye of any charming lass?”

“Aye, a few.” Geralt murmured as his friend laughed outright. “It will be good to play the field, work the ice from my joints.”

“And johning from the sound of it, will warm you the rest of the way.” Dandelion winked salaciously, which was quite ruined by the fact that his new bonnet kept slipping. “Though I am sure you have a whole gaggle of willing women at your keep to bring you warmth in the winter months.”

Geralt frowned a little. Dandelion caught the expression as he took a large sip of his beer. He choked a little, the foam sticking in his blond mustache and making it look like sea foam awash on hay.

“Surely you have entertainments of the flesh up in that mountain hole of yours?” Dandelion looked affronted, and mildly concerned.

“Flesh a plenty, aye, but none that fit the title of inamorata.” Geralt eyed the bard waiting to see his reaction.

The bard spluttered because he had a reputation to uphold after all. He slammed his tankard down on the table, his face so rife with concern it was comical.

“Well, why ever not?” The bard’s lip seemingly was attached to his eyebrow, as both lifted in confusion and frank disbelief. “Surely a lovely little doxie would jump at the chance to have a winter’s worth of coin,  bed, and a warm body to chase away the mountain chill. That sounds like it would be a whore’s dream. Paying client, no need to fear if they are or aren’t coming. Ha….”

“May be a whores dream, Dandelion,” Geralt took a sip of his beer. “But frankly, we wouldn’t bring a whore up for the same reason I don’t bring you up.”

“I choose to not follow you there.” Dandelion sniffed, and his eyes lit up as the bar maid, an older woman with plump wide hips and a belly which had seen many children, sauntered up with their order of kipper.  Her breasts quite literally spilled over her bodice, and were only held in place by her chamois, which was in full view of the tavern. “I have obligations! A whole estate to catch up with and help run. I have lectures to give, and nieces and nephews to spoil on yule.”

The woman looked at Dandelion and blushed, her plump cheeks and upturned nose painting their interest upon them.

“I like to spoil people after all.” Dandelion grinned at the woman with coy turn of his lips. She tittered, as most did before turning and sending a sly wink to the bard. Geralt knew he would likely have the room to himself.

“Oven’s already been warmed, Dandelion.” Geralt took a pointed sip of his beer to hide his amusement.

“All the better.” Dandelion had flushed a little as well, though from the beer or the buxom mother, Geralt wasn’t sure. “Who in their right mind would prefer a cold oven? I for one would like to know it works, and works well, before I go trying to bake bread within it.”

He hadn’t taken his eyes off the curvy woman, who seemed to Geralt to be swaying her hips, just to keep Dandelion interested. And interested the bard was, Geralt could smell it. When Geralt looked at her, however, she looked like a criers bell, her skirts moving back and fourth to the point where the witcher was nearly surprised that he couldn’t hear the musical strike on iron. His friend’s choice in lovers was always a mystery to Geralt.

“You were saying?” Geralt kicked Dandelion’s shin under the table, and Dandelion hissed, and gave Geralt a cross look before his eyes drifted back to the nearly mocking concern.

“It was actually you who were saying.” Dandelion sniffed as Geralt grabbed a cracker and put a healthy slathering of the pickled fish onto it.

“Hmmm,” Geralt frowned. “With what has befallen my guild, it would be too great of risk to bring someone there.”

“But you pay a whore to be discreet!” Dandelion practically shouted, and a few of the patrons looked over to him annoyed at the outburst. The band too was annoyed at it, for they got louder, and cast the colorful bard baneful looks.

“All it would take, is one.” Geralt shook his head ruefully chewing at the oily fish. “One open mouth and an army of angry peasants would be against our gates.”

Dandelion looked around, and frowned. The witcher grabbed a cracker and slathered it in fish. The briny taste accompanied by the cool beer was delicious.

“Geralt, I think that is absolutely abhorrent.” He stated sniffing fitfully, once again catching the witchers eye. “I know you retreat there to rest. I can’t imagine a full winters worth of forced celibacy is something that one endures with grace. What is there to do?”

“Plenty.” Geralt raised a brow as a woman at the bar caught his eye and blushed, looking away sweetly. Dandelion looked to the bar where the women was, and then looked to Geralt, who had become distracted.

“Are you just going to sit there staring at the local color? Or are you going to elaborate?” The bard leaned back with his beer smiling knowingly.

“What is there to tell?” Geralt smiled and then tossed back his beer finishing it in a single swallow. “We sleep, we train, and we do the same thing that any man does when his home is falling apart around him.”

“You ignore it?” Dandelion leaned forward taking an innocent sip at his beer. Geralt laughed as he stood up.

“Something like that.” He patted Dandelion on the shoulder roughly, causing his bonnet to list, and the feather to dip down into his beer.

“Fine, fine,” The bard adjusted his bonnet and dabbed at the beer laden feather with a cloth rag that had seen better days. “Go, Geralt, you need this more then I ever could.”

The witcher didn’t bother to acknowledge him. Instead, he walked to the bar, where the girl looked up to him sweetly, and he made a soft motion with his head. Dandelion watched and sipped at his beer as the woman followed him, at a polite distance.

He was mulling over Geralt’s words, shoveling the last of the kipper and crackers into himself, when what Geralt said finally dawned on him. Flesh a plenty. Did that mean? Dandelion froze, feeling his cheeks light aflame as images unbidden flashed into his head of what a keep of only men, trapped together overwinter, would get up to. It was then, as his fantasies reached a fever pitch, that the plush matron from earlier in the conversation came back to the table.

“Seems as though a boy like you could use an experienced hand.” She grinned down at him, and Dandelion’s mouth went dry.

“My lady, with one as gorgeous as yourself, the hand could be virginal and the enjoyment would be just as sweet.” He said, and the women smiled and reached out her arm.

“I have an hour or two, before I must get back.” She grinned as Dandelion took her arm. “Lets see if we can’t put that sweet mouth of yours to use.”

It didn’t matter, as he fell into a spare room at the inn, that he suffered turgescence not because of the woman in front of him, but because of the witcher who was coaxing sweet sounds of praise from his prize somewhere in the rooms above. If the woman in front of him was as wise as he believed, then she knew full well what had just taken place, and was more then happy to take advantage.

Soon, all thoughts of witchers disappeared, as the wise woman pillowed his head softly between soft flesh, and Dandelions clever mouth proved to be sweet indeed.