#literally insane cause i was expecting her to take a while to trust me. and on day 1 she knew i wasnt a threat and trusted me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

idealisticrealism · 2 years

Text

TCL 2x06 recap

Hahahahaahaaaaaaa get ready for more unhinged fangirling (and just so many words omg)

Also thanks so much to those of you who left replies on the previous recaps, I honestly really love seeing them– it’s awesome to know that you guys are actually enjoying my insane ramblings haha. So please keep sharing your thoughts and I’lll keep sharing mine :P

Honestly I am so happy we’re still on the same day as last ep! Though lbr I desperately wish we could have seen what happened between Garrett accepting the deal and Thony getting home– like how did she get home?? Did she drive back to the cleaning storehouse (I’m going to start calling this Cleaning Ladies’ HQ, or CLHQ for short lol) in the truck with Arman and then he dropped her home on his bike??? Or did Garrett insist on driving her home so he could chastise her about her involvement with Arman?? I mean either option would have been great to watch but lbr I would prefer the former lol. But sigh I guess that’s just going to be left to the imagination. But ugh it hurts to see her so upset– she was so steady and brave in the moment while making the deal, but now the reality is setting in, the feeling of once again being caught in a trap. And oooh it wasn’t until she told Fi just now about helping Arman move drugs that I remembered her reaction to Fi’s plan to sell party drugs for Brandon. Feeling like a bit of a hypocrite now, are we Thony?? And maybe a liar, too, considering she tells Fi that Garrett threatened to deport her unless she informed for him again– bc firstly there was zero mention of deportation (I honestly believe that Garrett is done with that threat, and also that he legitimately did actually intend to let Thony go and just take Arman in for the drugs), and secondly, we all know she begged him to agree to her being an informant, in order to keep both herself and Arman safe. But to admit that to Fi would be to reveal even more about the depth of her and Arman’s connection than the events in the motel did (and that was already plenty) and I honestly don’t think Thony is capable of facing that right now.

Ooooh only one person uses the weird kitchen door, which means Hot Detective Flores is back! Though as much as I like her, she does nothing but cause me stress haha. I‘m glad that the cops seem to have moved on from Thony as a suspect so quickly and easily– unless part of her reason for coming here and telling them about MMM’s disappearance was to see their reaction– but lbr it does look suss that MMM disappeared so soon after a death at his motel (sidenote, him being missing ‘over a week now’ definitely fits with the expected timeline). But aaaaarghhh I was worried that his disappearance would cause the cops to search his apartment and potentially find more videos– honestly, I’m surprised Arman didn’t look at MMM’s license for his address and then find his keys and go to his apartment to search for any sign of the Chris video. Unless maybe he did??? Honestly he’s savvy enough to think of it, and dedicated enough to protecting Thony that he’d absolutely do it. Ok tbh I am adopting the headcanon rn that he actually did go and do all that after disposing of the body, and just didn’t tell Thony bc he didn’t think she needed to know/wanted to let her just forget the whole thing. But anyway tbh it’s kind of funny to hear Flores say reassuringly “We WILL find out how your loved one died” to the three people who were literally present at/involved in his death lol. But also omg Chris how about you don’t yell “they’ll know I did it!!” literally moments after the detective walks out the door??? God you are such a teenager lol. And ok I love Thony’s certainty in saying that that the cops won’t find the body and that “Arman made sure of it”-- but like is that just her having enough trust in him to know he would have taken care of it, or did he actually tell her what he did with the body??? And if so, when??? Doesn’t this show know that I need to be privy to literally every single conversation and interaction between Armony?? C’mon writers be more considerate of a poor fangirl haha

(Also I forget to mention this every single week but I really love the new title screen thing with the soapy water washing away the red from the lettering like it’s washing away blood, leaving the pure white text behind. This show has such style man)

My thought process as Arman pulls up to the house on his motorbike: ‘oh hey I stood right by that letterbox thing down at the end of the street! Ok wait so these guys didn’t sell the motorbike or Nadia’s car, despite the severity of their financial issues? Also what is Arman staring at? Is there some kind of evidence that Robert has been at the house?? Omg wait did Nadia throw his stuff out????’ (*literally laughs in delight as the camera pans over his stuff on the ground lol*). Tbh I had fun pausing to check out his various belongings, and while the childhood pic of Adan is cutest, and the squash racquet is hot (I would watch him play that ANY day), the random lamps are definitely my favourite addition. Like are they sentimental lamps?? But anyway oh my goddddd this is a scene I have been hoping for for a long time, and holy shit Eva is legit giving it her all– hell hath no fury indeed. (ngl I’m giggling a little at the fact that she would have had to yell and throw those clothes right into the camera while filming this lol). But omg “What the hell are you doing??” / “What the hell are YOU doing?? I’m doing what I should have done the first time I laid eyes on you with your cleaning lady”-- honestly I love this line, because it is such a great throwback to the moment Nadia first sees them together in 1x02. (I’m ignoring their first scene all together the morning after the party in 1x01, because she was still drunk and didn’t actually see Thony and Arman interact at all; though mannn her 1x01 line “I like her. Give her everything” is particularly impactful now). But in 1x02, Nadia watches as Arman literally drops everything– leaving in the middle of an important meeting with Hayak and Knight– to disappear with a woman he barely knows, when it would have been far easier for him to get one of their guys to take her to the clinic, or even just tell her to go to a hospital instead. And I gotta mention the next time Nadia witnesses them interact as well; in 1x03 where she watches from across the club as Thony gives Luca’s drawing to Arman, and honestly she’s right with what she said– Thony really does look at him like he’s her hero in this moment, while he looks at her with an almost bashful pleasure, which (if Nadia had seen it) she would probably barely recognise, given how rare it must be for him. That was the moment Nadia started to understand something they hadn’t yet seen themselves, and was partly why she brought Thony to the wedding reception with her, to further observe how they would interact. She’s been watching this whole time, and though she’d tried to convince herself that the connection between them didn’t mean anything for her own relationship with Arman (I’m almost certain there was an interview that said Nadia has slept with other women during their marriage, so maybe they’re ~open), the truth is she’s always known that what Thony and Arman have is different. It's real, and she knows it, even if they don't.

Which is exactly why she calls bullshit when he says “There’s nothing going on between Thony and me. You know that!” And gotta say, as much as I love Arman, I kinda call bullshit too. Though while I can imagine some people would say he’s gaslighting her, I actually don’t agree. (“Gaslighting”: to deliberately manipulate someone by psychological means into doubting their own sanity). I think in Arman’s case, he genuinely believes he’s telling the truth, because to him, ‘nothing going on’ means a) he and Thony aren’t sleeping together, and b) that their relationship isn’t going to progress beyond what it is now. He’s aware of his feelings for Thony, and is also aware that she has some kind of feelings for him (even if he doesn’t know exactly how far those feelings extend), and though there is an undeniable pull between them he also knows that there is a line neither of them will cross, one that exists because of Nadia– especially since everything that happened with the prison and the debt, and how much Nadia’s safety and livelihood now depends on him as a result of that. And so that’s what he means with that line– while he and Thony are connected, that connection will never go any further (despite what Nadia clearly believes) as long as he and Nadia are together. Hence his frustration– she’s accusing him of having the very thing he so desperately wants, but has denied himself ever having. And he genuinely does try to explain what he’s been doing/make her understand about the plan with the drugs, except she won’t let him (damn at the accuracy of her “you’ll take any excuse to be with her” line though, wow), and then just as he’s about to try to convince her of his dedication to her, he sees the ring, and the devious landmine artfully planted by Robert explodes between them. Because while Nadia sees the reality– the inevitability– of Thony and Arman’s connection far better than he does, Arman sees the truth of Robert’s actions better than she does, and that disparity only serves to push them further apart. But omg the way I gasped when she yells “There is no more us!!!” and he just stares at her because he knows her well enough to see the truth, has fought bitterly with her enough times to see that this is different– that this time it might actually be real, that they’ve passed that point of no return and that their marriage is over. He can’t entirely believe it though, doesn’t dare to; because if it’s real, then she has actually just released him from the obligation he has towards her, from the slowly-growing weight of unhappiness that he has been carrying since even before he met Thony. And the irony of it all is that by leaving him, she has given him the freedom to do what he otherwise never would have done– the exact thing she was accusing him of in the first place: be with the woman he loves.

Okay so Armony are about to have their meet with Garrett to discuss the plan, and honestly I hate when scenes start with both of them already present! Like excuse me I need to know how long they have been waiting and what they have been talking about and how much they have looked at each other etc??? Like did they deliberately arrive earlier than Garrett so they could work out their plan? Have they been texting back and forth since last night trying to figure it out?? No matter how much this show feeds me (and ngl it feeds me well; see the above paragraph for proof lol) I am always going to want more lol. But ugh they have clearly talked it through together and are presenting their little plan as a duo and basically completing each other’s sentences and I love them. But honestly it confuses me a bit that Garrett starts the meeting by asking how they’re going to use Robert to get Cortes, and then only like a minute later he’s signing up for their plan to use Cortes to get Robert?? It just seemed like a sudden and odd priority shift, bc until this moment it seemed like he didn’t care about Robert (despite Robert’s extensive crime-ing) and only saw him as a means to getting Cortes? But tbh I don’t care lol. I just care about this Armony eye contact and the way Arman looked like he wanted to say something before Thony turned and walked away ugh. I’m gonna headcanon that after she gets in the van, he leans against the passenger door and talks to her through the lowered window, maybe arranging a time for them to meet at CLHQ and unpack the drugs from the van? (Also two sidenotes: firstly I’ve never noticed that little semi-bald patch in Arman’s beard over the right side of his jaw– is there a scar there because I would be very into that. And secondly dude I love the leather jacket as much as anyone, trust me, but it is too hot for you to be wearing it all the time! Take it off before you get heatstroke!! …. And while you’re at it, the shirt should probably go too. Just to be safe lol)

“Now that dad’s back in town you guys can get married!” Omg. I cannot describe my love for this scene, firstly for the near parent-trapping, and secondly for the fact that it literally legitimately felt SO real in terms of how a 12 year old would see and react to this situation. Like oh my heart Jazz is so cute and earnest lol, and Fi and JD were so gentle with setting her straight ugh. Bummer about the JD girlfriend, but eh, I’m sure she won’t last haha. I swear the JD and Fi ship (I’m going for “J-Fi” here because I’m lazy lol) is gonna sail by the end of the season– or at least it better, because I love them already ugh

It’s probably ridiculous that it irritates me that Arman changed the money into a different bag? Like why? Though I guess he had to take it all out of the other bag to count it anyway or whatever (also, where did he do that? La Habana??). But ugh yaaaasss that was such a satisfying power move watching him casually drop a ton of money in front of Robert and see Robert be like that meme of the lady who looks confused with all the mathematic equations floating around her lol. (That was terribly described but c’mon, you know the one.) Honestly I was so happy for Arman here because not only is he a fifth of the way closer to freedom, but he got to show the guy who thinks he has him completely backed into a corner that there is more to him than Robert realises. Robert clearly does not like to feel like he’s been tricked (which is ironic because he’s literally being tricked right now lol) so he immediately goes to Nadia to whine like the spoiled child that he is. I definitely did enjoy Nadia’s face when she learned Arman had paid off so much– yep, he did try to tell you last night, but you wouldn’t listen! Not that that means she wasn’t justified in everything she said last night, bc she was mostly right– there is absolutely 100% something going on with him and Thony– but to be fair to Arman, she’s wrong about what lines they have or haven’t crossed. But even so, his involvement with Thony doesn’t mean he was lying about selling the drugs, or when he said that he was doing this for him and Nadia (aka, for their freedom from Robert). Two things can be true at once Nadia!

Lol I love seeing Arman putting two relatively small boxes on the stack while in the background Thony is lugging a box off the truck that is practically as big as she is. Girl has got being self-reliant down to an art form. Ngl my brain is still very confused by the ‘how do they have both the money and the drugs in their possession’ question, but whatever, I‘ll roll with it (just like I’m rolling with Thony’s inexplicable outfit change back to what she was wearing at home last night; maybe the blue shirt got dirty between the meet this morning and now?). But who cares about these things when there’s completely unnecessary Armony touching to scream over??? I love that he holds out a hand to help her get down even though she has very clearly been hopping up and down from that van like a lil’ mountain goat all morning unpacking these meds (I also love that his other hand first covered hers on the box for like a split second before she straightened up ugh). But ugh she doesn’t shy away from him or say she’s fine– she just immediately puts her hand in his and lets him help her. Given that stubborn independence and self-reliance (like mentioned above) are some of Thony’s major character traits, I love to see little moments like this, which show that she is learning to accept help from the people that care about her, even when she already knows she could manage alone. (Bc the whole point is that she doesn’t have to anymore).

And so anyway she lets him help her down, and then ughhhhhhh they just… hold on??? And I say they bc honestly while Arman is more overtly deliberate in keeping that contact, it’s not like he’s preventing her from pulling away– his grip is relaxed, and she could have easily slipped her hand out of his the moment she was on solid ground (and without it seeming weird or like she was trying to get away from him), but she didn’t. Instead she just looks up at him, fingers still curled over his and thumb pressing against his skin, and ugh the way he's looking at her??? His fight with Nadia last night had such a feeling of finality to it, and while lbr he doesn't know for sure that she won’t backflip again and take him back when she calms down, he can’t help but let himself have this moment where he isn’t a man torn between obligation to one woman and love for another– he’s just a man looking at the woman he loves, the woman he could finally have a future with. And he shifts closer like he’s being pulled in by the dream of that future, and maybe she is too bc her eyes flick down to his mouth for just a split second– and then it’s like she snaps out of it, like ‘wait shit nope still married' and pulls back, her neck muscles tensing like she’s literally holding her breath??? And then she turns away for all of a second before she’s like '......unless….…?' lol and turns back to bring up the elephant in the room (or rather, the belongings in the truck haha), aka the signs of the possible dissolution of his marriage??? How uncomfortable must it be for her to acknowledge them, especially when they might actually mean nothing (she's seen the way Arman and Nadia fight, and yet thus far they’ve always still stayed together), or they might mean that things are really over between Arman and Nadia this time, which would open the door for the beginning (lbr, the progression) of something between the two of them??? But despite the awkwardness, it’s more important to her to make sure he’s okay, and ugh the way he steps closer to her again, his eyes on her face and voice all soft as he thanks her… Never thought I’d say this, but I’m almost glad for the appearance of Robert and Nadia, because oh man I can’t take this tension and all these unspoken truths. Ngl I did have a very brief moment of insanity when she said “If you want–” where I literally thought she was going to offer for him to come stay at her house ahahaha. I love that she did offer him somewhere to stay, though, because she cares about him and wants him to have a roof over his head. She’s trying to look after him, because that’s what they do for each other; and only a moment later he’s yet again looking after her by telling her to go into the storage room (presumably to have more cover/be closer to the exit on the other side if she needs to run) and ugh the way he puts his hand on his gun, ready to do whatever it takes to keep her safe. Honestly these two and their mutual care and protection of each other are going to be the death of me.

Anyway ughhh I am SO into this framing of Armony on one side and Nadia and Robert on the other. This is the shift I mentioned in a previous meta, with the Arman/Nadia partnership being severed and the two of them realigning with Thony and Robert (though lbr Arman and Thony were already very much aligned long before this, lol). I also love the framing of the shots inside the storeroom, with Arman behind Thony and his eyes on her rather than on Robert. I appreciate that Robert actually seems fascinated by the discovery of Thony’s actual profession, and the way his gaze flicks to Arman– whose eyes are still focused only on Thony– for confirmation. I also appreciate that he doesn’t actually sound sarcastic when he refers to her as ‘Doctor’; he’d been actually fairly respectful to her the day before, but there’s a new element to it now– maybe it’s that he feels she’s more worthy of respect now that he knows her profession (in which case, he’s a jerk), or maybe it’s just that he realises that he has underestimated the depth to her and is re-evaluating. Honestly I think she has intrigued him from the start and this has only added to that. But aaaaah I love when people who are used to being the one manipulating others– and who see themselves as the untouchable puppetmaster pulling the strings– get played themselves, and damn Armony did an amazing job at having Robert walk right into their trap. Because of course the man who wants to take everything Arman possesses would never be able to resist taking a chunk of his business away from him. (Though seriously, if one of them had been wearing a wire during this interaction, they would have had enough to hand Robert over to the FBI right away… but I guess that would have cut the episode pretty short haha). Anyway I’m so happy that Arman is now free from his deal to work for Robert (of course, so is Nadia, but lbr we all know that working for Robert suited her just fine). But ugh the look Arman gives her after ensuring her freedom from Robert– see, I told you I was doing this for you too– and the expression she’s wearing like she knows there’s more going on here than she understands, but she just can’t see it yet. I love the moment Armony share after Nadia and Robert leave– “You didn’t tell Nadia the plan?” / “No. That’s why it worked.” because a) it just further reiterates that Armony are their own team now and Nadia is not part of that (he literally let his marriage implode rather than defend himself to Nadia and jeopardise the plan), but also b) it’s gotta have Thony wondering what this little business deal will mean for Arman and Nadia’s marriage, and whether Nadia will let him come home now that she realises what he did to get them free of Robert. And while obviously the potential for Arman and Nadia making up is not at all what we want, I want Thony to realise that it’s not what she wants either.

But ugh of course Arman is immediately thinking about Thony’s safety and trying to convince her that he should go to the meet with Cortes alone– and of course she refuses and insists on coming with him lol. Tbh her argument about being able to answer any questions about the meds is weak (Arman could literally just call her if any came up), and we know the truth, even if she can’t face it herself. Because she’s almost lost Arman twice now– firstly when Hayak blew up his car a month ago and she spent a horrific week thinking he was dead, and then secondly when Hayak had him attacked in the prison (who knows if she’s actually aware of the third time, aka the prison shower showdown)– and both of those near-misses happened at times when they were separated. Since then, she can’t face the idea of him walking into a situation this dangerous on his own, can’t help but be terrified of what might happen to him– so the only (admittedly irrational) way she can control that fear is to be there too. And maybe she’s hoping that Cortes will be less likely to harm Arman if there’s a witness present, especially a woman– after all, her time in Arman’s world has shown her that there is still honour among criminals; and now, for him, she’s staking her life on it.

But anyway okay I’m confused again– why do they need money from the FBI for the drugs? They had no problem buying the drugs before with their limited funds (after all, they’ve said how cheap they are to buy from Mexico), but I guess maybe this time they’re getting way more? Idk. I love that Thony’s mind immediately went to the opportunity to steal from the FBI and take a cut for themselves (I see you’ve learned a few things, haha) and clearly Arman loved it too– ughhhh the way he just stares at her with such wonder and pride, and then abruptly looks away the moment she looks up at him lol. (Sorry, buddy, but not quick enough. She totally saw those heart eyes, but then again, it’s not like you’ve ever been particularly good at hiding them. Unlike her, who is maybe too good at it….)

Omg when did Garrett and Jefferson become such boyfriends???? “I’m an atheist” “sorry Russo, he’s an atheist” / “You’ve got nothing to worry about boss, we got this” and all the giddy little grins? Like geez guys try to be less like completely smitten newlyweds here haha. (Though lbr it’s super cute and I love it). Also my confusion about this entire Robert/Cortes situation continues, because literally last night it seemed like Garrett was going to keep his little teamup with Thony and Arman a secret– like when he said it was a false alarm and turned Jefferson away– but now he’s told the FBI all about it?? I guess maybe he was just waiting to get a clear plan from Thony and Arman that morning before he took it to Russo? Also lol at Russo mentioning Maya having met Thony– you can immediately bet Maya is going to show up at some point, despite Garrett’s assurances lol. Just like the comments about Thony being in danger if Cortes sees the FBI, and Garrett saying that nothing will go wrong. Famous last words lol…

So is La Habana gonna be like a shared custody arrangement, or…? Lol bc apparently rn Arman gets the office overnight and as soon as morning hits, she’s tossing him out. (That little finger click and gesture to get out? That was hot lol). Also I kinda love the clear way we are being shown the division between them, particularly in these shared spaces of theirs. And I love that this scene further reiterates that she was never just the pretty face around the club– they were both equally the pretty face that lured the customers, and the business sharks running the show behind the scenes. But omg, rumpled grumbly Arman all squished onto that too-small couch?? I love it so much haha. But lbr buddy ‘I didn’t have anywhere else to go’ is a lie, Thony made it very clear you were welcome to her bed… ahem, I mean the bed at the clinic. (Shhhh I can dream, lol). Also I will be 100% honest, I definitely stared at his thighs when he threw back the blanket haha, but I was totally just looking for evidence of the scar that should have been there from the explosion in 1x01. I swear :P But anyhow I actually am so happy about this fight, because unlike their fight in front of the house, this isn’t all fire and anger. The things said then could have been put down to heat of the moment, and the writers could have used this scene to have them talk it out and reconcile now that Nadia knows he was telling the truth about the drugs (even if she still doesn’t know the whole story, and she knows that there’s more to it). But instead the same argument is covered again, but with tiredness and resignation rather than furious attacks. ‘What I did was for us, can’t you see that?” / ”No, I can’t see it”-- honestly I feel like when Arman says ‘us’, he doesn’t mean them as a romantic couple; he means both of them, individually. And he has been fighting to free them both, because he cares about her and knows that being near Robert is only going to be bad for her in the long run. (Plus he just hates Robert and can’t stand the thought of Robert feeling like he’s ‘won’ her). But when Nadia hears ‘us’ she takes it to mean their relationship, their connection to each other. Which is why she doesn’t believe he’s fighting for ‘them’. But lbr these two are doomed either way– bc if they remain under the crushing pressure from Robert, they’ll crack under the strain until they shatter apart. And if they get free of Robert and re-establish the level of financial security they had before, then Arman will no longer have the same obligation to protect and provide for her, and he won’t be able to resist the pull towards what he really wants– a life with Thony.

The comment about the ring was interesting though– like whoever puts it on her hand (or more importantly, who she accepts it from) is laying claim to her? Originally it was Arman, but then the ring became Robert’s, and then he gave it to her– and so by her visibly wearing it, it’s now a sign of her connection to/acceptance of him rather than Arman. And lbr she could have put it away somewhere safe or even hocked it when Robert gave it back, but she chose to wear it, even knowing the message it would send to Arman. But ugh the way their voices get all low and he tells her she’s free of Robert, basically implores her not to get caught in his web again, and she holds back tears as she tells him that she knows that what he’s doing is for Thony. The fact that he stops trying to argue against it– he’s accepted that they both know it’s the truth now– and just tries to warn her in the only way he can that being close to Robert is dangerous, that he genuinely is trying to protect her, regardless of the state of their marriage. But ugh the quiet conviction in ‘my safety is not your concern anymore’ and ‘don’t be here when I come back’– we have seen them have many fights by this point, constantly lashing out at each other and pushing each other away, but always coming back to the safety and familiarity of their relationship– but to me, this is the point where their marriage truly ends. After this, I honestly can’t see the writers giving us scenes where they try to come back from this, aka try to ‘make it work’. I think they are definitely going to continue being in each other’s orbit– with La Habana, Robert, the drug business etc, there’s still a lot connecting them– but it will no longer be as a partnership. As allies, maybe, hopefully; but never again as husband and wife. (At least I really, really hope so.)

Omg I am in LOVE with Fi clearly just rolling with the fact that Thony is going to go undercover to meet a drug kingpin (it’s like that John Mulaney quote of “You know those days when you’re like, ‘This might as well happen’” lol), and aw she even goes all in to find her an outfit and make her look the part. Considering Fi has been the one doing most of the freaking out lately, I think it actually helps her (as well as Thony) to take a turn being the strong one, the one who says it’s all going to be okay. Thony’s feeling out of her depth, and so afraid for both Arman and herself– like I said earlier, maybe in the moment when she insisted on coming, she felt that having the two of them there must surely make it safer; as if even a high-level criminal would hesitate before killing two people (especially including a woman) because it doubles the likelihood of someone noticing them missing or knowing where they were last seen. But now she’s terrified that she might be wrong about that, and even more terrified that it might be her messing up somehow that gets them both killed. She insisted on coming because she thought it would protect Arman– but what if it does the opposite? What if he dies because of her?? And ughhh Fi reminds her of how brave and strong she is, and then gives her her ‘armour’ to wear so she can feel the part, and I just love them so much ughhhh. I have said it before that these two are the true centre of the show and I stick by that

Okay but we were 100% ROBBED of getting to see Arman’s first reaction to Thony in That Outfit. Am I going to fic it? Look, at some point, probably lol. Because you just know that that boy forgot his own damn name for a moment there when he first laid eyes on her. I’m picturing him and Garrett tensely standing at some designated meet point, waiting for her to arrive (maybe there was a bit of final briefing to do or something, idk) and as she pulls up they’re snarking at each other over something, and then when she steps out of the van Arman literally stops talking mid-sentence and just stares. And Garrett makes some teasing comment (like "careful, that puddle of drool will ruin those fancy shoes" or "what's the matter, zebra got your tongue?" Lol) that Arman doesn’t even hear– he's already walking towards her like he's being drawn by a magnet. Garrett huffs and then follows, then tells Thony that this outfit is much more on the mark than her goth one, but she’s not listening to him either. She’s only looking at Arman, and Garrett rolls his eyes a little and then does some very pointed throat clearing and then is all “Are we going to stand here having a staring competition all day or are we actually going to get this done?” and they snap themselves out of it. But anyway ugh the two of them driving in the caddy looking like that, with that sultry music over the top?? And the line “eye for an eye, heart for a heart, gave you my light, I’ll show you my dark” – like help??? Honestly whoever does the music for this show deserves a goddamn award. I have literally been listening almost solely to playlists of tracks from TCL for months now and I am loving it. But anyway major kudos to Arman for being able to focus on the road and not on the amount of bare thigh on display in the passenger seat lol; that’s some serious discipline right there. (Though lbr he’s had a lot of practice at trying not to stare at Thony haha, with varying levels of success).

But ugh the way she stays in her seat for a few moments after he gets out of the car, mentally readying herself– and then suddenly he’s there, opening the door for her and holding out a hand to help her onto her feet, and I love the symbolism of him aiding her through this almost as much as I loved the prolonged eye contact and hand holding ugh. The silent reassurance and support in the look he gives her? Help. Honestly I was hoping he’d hold out his arm and she’d take it so they’d walk into the place physically connected, but then it would have made her seem like someone who was more there for decoration than as his equal partner– ugh the power couple vibes were definitely strong. Loved that he continued to check in with her with little looks as they get inside and meet Cortes– also it just further reiterates that invisibility she has when she’s in her cleaning lady persona, considering Cortes saw her literally like 2 days ago in Robert’s office and yet doesn’t recognise her at all. I’ll acknowledge that it’s partly context (even if he thought he recognised her as the cleaning lady he’d seen, his brain would have convinced him that it didn’t make sense for her to be here like this now) but it’s definitely partly that he just didn’t see her, barely even looked at her in the office– even though he’s certainly looking today. This moment definitely highlights the way Arman saw her from the very start, even despite her wearing her cleaning lady invisibility cloak at the time, and it was unfathomable to him that anyone could overlook her. Ugh. (Also sidenote: hearing Arman say his name with the real accent during their introduction, rather than the Anglicised version, was super hot). Also omg catch me dying over Cortes saying “Me, I at least like a date before I jump into bed with someone, if you know what I mean” and the way Armony look at each other as Arman says “We feel exactly the same way.” Bc actually, you guys don’t just like ‘a date’ first, you like to completely entwine your lives and create an unbreakable bond of mutual trust and devotion before you get to the jumping in bed part hahaha. (and while I’m more than happy to wait for that bed part, please god let them it be coming at some point lol). Anyway I love that when they first sit down, he immediately orients his body towards Thony with his arm along the couch behind her, making the distance between them feel smaller ugh. Tbh I was surprised by how quickly their ‘date’ ended; and while he played it cool, Arman was clearly eager to wrap things up and get Thony out of there– and maybe Cortes picked up on that, or maybe not. Either way ugh this is the second time in only a few weeks that Arman has been forced to leave a woman he cares about in the company of a dangerous man; but at least with Nadia and Robert, he knew she was going to be safe. Leaving Thony must have been so much harder for many reasons, and tbh I think if he had seen in her eyes that she couldn’t handle being left behind, he would have done whatever it took to get her out of there with him. But Thony is badass and brave and did what had to be done, and that’s one of the many reasons why he loves her.

(Lol like halfway into the ep and already over 6.5k words. I am a mess. As much as I disapprove of them making Arman disappear for the rest of the ep, I do appreciate that it might be the only thing that saves me from myself haha)

Okay Garrett’s “He left her there” better not have any judgement in it, bc seriously boy you’ve seen how much Arman protects Thony– agreeing to the sting to take down Hayak, arguing for her to be let go when they were caught with the meds, etc– so don’t act like he would just willingly leave her in the clutches of a man like Cortes! Grrr. Anyway I just noticed Garrett is still wearing his wedding ring?? (and that Oliver has a finger tatt, lol). Honestly mate I think you’d be better off giving up on that one… especially since you are clearly not over Maya (wait do I ship it? Oh god maybe a little. gross)

Oh man, forcibly prolonged interactions with strangers are already so awkward, and this is even worse given the whole practically being kept captive thing. Like how much time has passed already? When did they move to sit by the pool? What have they been talking about? Has he actually asked anything about the drugs, which was her main argument for her being brought along in the first place? (Sidenote: just noticed this actor has forearm tatts that have been covered up, and I think they did the same for the actor playing JD bc I noticed something on his bicep last ep. How rude that they rob me of my chance to be nosy lol). But anyway omg “And how long have you and Arman been together?” / “Just a few months now,” (truth) ”but we’re not together, we’re business partners.” (lie lol). Well I guess it’s not so much a lie as it is not quite the truth. And haha “You could have fooled me” – I love this line because technically they are fooling him rn, but clearly not about their relationship lol. Like seriously, even this aloof criminal who saw them together for like all of five minutes could see what was between them. Ngl everyone can see that there’s something there, including Thony and Arman themselves, but they both refuse to acknowledge it openly because they’re too afraid of what it’ll mean if they do. Because think about it– what if one of them tells the truth about how they feel, and the other chooses not to take their relationship any further? Thony’s all too aware of Arman’s sense of obligation towards Nadia, and Arman’s afraid he’s too much of a liability to be worth the risk to Thony, especially when her family has to come first. And then there’s the even more terrifying option– what if they tell the truth and find that the other wants to be with them too, but then things fall apart later on?? After everything she went through in her relationship with Marco, Thony is afraid to trust someone with her heart (and Luca’s) again, and it would just be so hard to believe that someone used to the kind of upscale, intoxicating life that Arman has led could ever be happy in the simple family life that she has. Meanwhile Arman has always viewed himself as unworthy of her, and is afraid that someday she would realise it and abandon him, like so many others in his life have done. (Isabel, his parents, Hayak, and to an extent, Nadia). And so anyway with all of that, are we really surprised that neither of them will actually step up and say how they feel???

Wait dude it’s lunch time rn? So this guy has already had two glasses of wine before lunch on a weekday? Sorry bud but I have some professional advice for you regarding the level of your alcohol consumption lol. Also that huge plate of spaghetti and garlic bread is making me wonder how your cholesterol’s looking haha (says the girl who would absolutely demolish that meal given the opportunity lol). But anyway live fast die young I guess lol

Aww I love that Fi called JD! It’s so nice to see her having someone to lean on other than just Thony (who, lbr, is dealing with enough of her own shit) and ugh JD is so steady and kind (and tall. and cute. Have I mentioned lately that I ship it?). Honestly I was so nervous for her when she told him the truth about Chris– the fact that she did shows how close they really must have been when they were together– and his compassion for her made me love him so much. It makes sense that she can trust him about this though; he’d never do anything to hurt Jazz, and having her mother and brother jailed or deported is just about the worst thing he could possibly do to her. And that’s not to mention how much he cares about Fi herself, and Chris too, who he would have been a dad figure to when Chris was only a few years old ugh

And speaking of Chris– oh you foolish boy. You’ve really gone and done it now, putting your face and your name out there. Such a relief that JD got him out of there in time– hopefully they can come up with a plausible excuse for his visit before Flores comes knocking, for example that he came bc he wanted to request that if they found the video of Marco’s death, could they not tell his mom about it because he’s worried that it would hurt her too much to see it. But anyway ugh JD telling Chris he needs to forgive himself for the death he caused– I can imagine that a soldier who spent years at war knows a little about that. As much as I wanted a chance to see Arman bond with Chris, I definitely want to see JD & Chris bonding more (Arman can claim the Hot Uncle role later; let’s work on Hot Husband and Hot Stepdad first lol)

But ugh omg this whole conversation between J-Fi about when they split up and why she didn’t tell him she was undocumented and whether he would have proposed?? Helpp??? I am such a sucker for stories about people who love each other but who are kept apart by circumstances outside of their control– ideally I want the barriers between them resolved pretty quickly (Armony are definitely in this category lol) but I also love those like J-Fi, who get a second chance years later. So c’mon writers, send the girlfriend on her way and give us the J-Fi we deserve lol

Lol guess who learned something new today? I was all like ‘why does Arman call it Sportsbook when Nadia and Robert both call it Fast Lane??’ – well fun fact, a sportsbook is an establishment that takes bets on sporting events and pays out winnings. Clearly I am not a gambler or a televised sports enthusiast lol. But anyhow damn, respect to Nadia for dictating the terms of her business arrangement with Robert; she literally rocked up and bossed him around and he practically thanked her for it god I’m starting to get dom/sub vibes here too lol. But anyway Robert makes her feel admired and respected and wanted, whereas lately Arman has (unintentionally) made her feel tolerated rather than appreciated– while he does care for her greatly, I think he holds a subconscious level of resentment towards her, as the thing that stands in the way of what he wants above all else. And she can sense that, even when he’s not aware of it himself. But oooh her expression when Robert commented on the ring and how lovely it looks on her– I think she now sees that Arman was right, and Robert views it as a symbol of her connection to him rather than Arman, proof of him staking his claim. Interested to see what she does with that knowledge– like I said in another meta, I want her to use Robert and then throw him under the bus to take his kingdom right out from under him lol, but I guess I’ll have to wait and see on that one.

The fact that none of the many many guards at this very isolated property have noticed the random car hanging out nearby is a little ridiculous lol. As is the fact that Garrett gets into the compound by sneaking past when their backs are turned– Cortes should definitely fire every one of these goons lol

Ugh Thony looking out the window as if for rescue; makes me think of her “he always shows up when I need him” statement. She knows Arman can’t come for her right now– and in fact, by getting the drug handover done, he is literally doing everything he can to get her her freedom as soon as possible– but she still can’t help but wish for him to appear. And then lol at the ‘well, shit’ expression on her face when Maya walks in. I actually really enjoy the way these two interact, and how they both try to protect the other– Maya by warning her to get out and away from Cortes asap, and Thony by trying to convince her to do the same. Totally in love with the little ‘oh, honey’ look that Thony gives Maya when she learns of her relationship with Garrett; lbr Thony can definitely relate to falling in love with someone she probably shouldn’t have, but at least for her that someone is a man who will literally always put her before himself, which is clearly something Maya didn’t get from Garrett. But while he may be a selfish asshole, Thony knows he really has been trying hard to protect Maya, and that there are good sides to him– certainly far more than Cortes, who is only ever going to hurt her worse and worse until one day she ends up dead. Honestly when Thony said she’d been with someone who hurt her too, I gasped aloud, because I have always believed that Marco (while definitely abusive in multiple other ways) was never physically abusive towards her. I always felt that while Thony accepted/tolerated a certain level of his emotional/financial/social abuse, she would never have tolerated him getting physically violent with her, partly because she has too much fire in her for that, but mainly because she wouldn’t have been able to trust that that violence wouldn’t eventually be turned on Luca, and she could never allow that. So her comment to Maya had me all like omg?!??, and then she added ‘not physically’ and I was just like jesus don’t scare me like that lol. Also later she tells Maya “The way he treats you is not love” and honestly this line says so much. And tbh anyone who judges Thony for ‘cheating’ on Marco– a man who abused her for years and put their son’s health at further risk, and who she could not legally separate herself from/who made it financially almost impossible for her to escape from– can piss right off imo

Anyway omg when Thony had Cortes’ gun to her head ugh… my poor baby deserves all the peace and happiness in the world and yet she gets so much fear and suffering instead. I loved seeing Maya rescue her though, and then Thony immediately trying to rescue her right back– as ever, this show is THE BEST when it comes to women helping other women. And ugh they looked like such a badass duo there facing off against Cortes, Thony staying close by her side and giving her her strength and support. But ugh he did what abusers do and weaseled his way closer until he was almost able to strike– if he’d gotten the gun from Maya, they’d both have been dead in seconds. Which is why I’m pretty much on Garrett’s side when it comes to shooting him tbh; I know that a cop shooting an unarmed man is terrible, but in this context it was the right call, because like I said, he was literally moments from killing them. And to allow one or both of them to be hurt/killed before he could be ‘legally’ taken out is just insane. Damn at Garrett’s trust in his aim though– Cortes and Maya were standing very close– and daaaaaaamn at Thony’s quick thinking (she has learned a few things from being in Arman’s world lol). Honestly so proud of the fact that she did that for Garrett; she and Maya could have just stood there and done nothing, and then told the FBI the truth about what happened– and they would have likely faced no consequences, while Garrett would be hauled away for manslaughter or something (I assume?). But Thony understands that legal and illegal don’t always match up with right and wrong, and she knows that Garrett just saved both of their lives– and so in return, she saves his freedom. It’s going to make their dynamic even more interesting now, and tbh I can’t wait to see more of how they interact and help each other in the future, especially now that he will literally never threaten or blackmail her ever again.

Anyway, not sure what I’ll be stressing over more between now and next ep– Thony getting caught for her aiding and abetting (because as @enigmaticfox brilliantly pointed out, Thony put the gun in Cortes’ left hand, but we definitely saw earlier that he’s right-handed ugh), or Flores looking into Chris, or the (thankfully unlikely) possibility that Arman had a run-in with Sin Cara when trying to get the drugs and ended up in a world of trouble of his own aaaaahhhh (for once I’m actually tempted to watch the promo for next ep, but nah, I’ll just suffer in suspense instead lol)

Alright that’s all for 2x06, kids. See you in a couple of weeks with a recap which will undoubtedly break 10k based on how quickly things are going downhill with my self control lol

#The Cleaning Lady #Armony #TCL recaps #hit a new record today guys are you proud of me lol #I am both proud and terrified haha #honestly how will I survive the next half of the season when the Armony REALLY gets going #(spoiler: I won't)

12 notes · View notes

ikari-cat · 2 years

Text

It’s been months I know BUT

Here’s a long, LONG, update on my life currently along with the usual goals that are always 50/50 SO *types for like almost 2 hours*

2022 - the year-long eviction crisis that I dealt with. I don’t even recall if I mentioned it here but yes in late 2021 my family and I received a notice of eviction. We have lived in the same apartment complex for around 26 years now, so you can imagine how stressful it was to be kicked out of my ‘home’ - I still live in the same complex I grew up with. So throughout 2022, I was stressed, I was broke, and I was hopeless about my future as a psychology major. Clearly, I needed to be making and saving money instead of studying in a school I felt like a stranger all while not knowing if this piece of paper will get me anything worthwhile. On top of that, I decided to go on birth control, which was a struggle for me both mentally and physically, sufficient to say my ongoing relationship with my high school sweetheart was put up to the test as usual.

SO let’s section up things from here on - still tangents however so YEET

School

The struggle of being a psychology student. In late 2021 I decided to take on Advanced Statistics due to needing to take at least one ‘graduate’ level class as an undergrad. I really enjoyed learning from my Intermediate Stats Professor so I asked for advice on improving my psychology field skills due to my continued questioning as a student - they had stressed taking as many stats courses as possible. To my horror, however, they did not teach any upper-level courses (in fact they later left the campus in general to take a position in Washington which honestly goes to show his worth) SO I was left to pick up other stat courses with other professors. As expected, they were questionable, to say the least. Given my VERY horrible introduction to stats overall at my community college, I was left feeling like even with an A in intermediate stats I was totally underqualified to be in a graduate-level course. I WAS RIGHT OF COURSE. I felt so alone, I could barely grasp any of the concepts with the professor, and ultimately my final straw was crying in a lab late at night feeling so worthless to be here as a psychology student. After the midterm, our professor had check-ins with every student on their status so far, they had asked me if I wanted to continue the course or not. I was honest, I had no idea what was going on, and with the eviction in the back of my mind it was literally like “why am I bothering with this right now?”. So, given that it was the semester after the lockdown, the professor left me as an incomplete, which I would ‘retake’ the course again within a year in order to pass it. I left and ended up dropping my other elective course due to being stuck on a group project I felt so done with (my communications students out there - I believe some of y’all are red flags now).

The following semester was in Spring 2022, at this point I decided to trust my mom in her words that she will handle everything with the eviction thus putting my all into school. I was a full-time student with a new car (which I am gonna rot with interest at this rate wfoijwofij) on the path of making up for my lack in this new school. To save myself the stress, I told my stats professor that I would retake the class in the Fall, sufficient to say my Spring semester was LOADS better with the avoidance of that class. I eventually got the hang of the campus and overall felt better than I was in late 2021. NOW, my summer could have been a lot better, I practically locked myself up in our room after being rejected from a program for the lack of experience basically and shut down once again (even more since I wasn’t saving any money for whatever eviction outcome was to happen). Fall 2022, another full-time semester, with the addition of advanced stats in the background causing me to once again go mentally insane. TO SAVE THE CHAOS, a basic rundown in the end. I PASSED ALL OF MY CLASSES. I was really fucking surprised, I should have failed at least 3 of the class (a psychology lab, another psychology course, then advanced stats) LITERALLY due to failing the majority of assignments in these classes. I wrote practically a 2-page lab paper that clearly needed to be 10 pages long, failing exams in my regular psychology course, then not turning in half of the assignments in advanced stats - sufficient to say these professors fucking took pity on me. In total, I took on essentially ‘6′ courses - I would recommend doing so for the ones who clearly have fixed discipline skills cause holy shit never again. Did I learn? For sure. Is it all gone from my head? Yes - only remember the pain.

Now, it’s Spring 2023, originally my final semester. The semester was supposed to end with my internship class, a psychology course, and another elective. BUT AS EXPECTED, I didn’t secure an internship of my choice in time, thus pushing me to graduate in Fall 2023 since no aid can cover me in the summer. It sucks, really, but as I go in more later, right now Evolutionary Psychology and Geography on National Parks are really enjoyable - my search for an internship continues.

Housing

So what ended up happening in the end? Our case got settled in February 2023, with us being able to stay so long as we pay back the ‘missing’ rent we owed to the complex. What started off as a parking space issue ended up making us pay practically 4k in the next 7 months that followed that settlement, as a VERY broke college student with no steady income this has been hell. All of my grant money is now gone, I have to either take out a loan or get another job in order to pay my part of the rent. Then my car didn’t help, which HIGHLY STRESS TO NEVER GET A CAR FROM A DEALERSHIP, I have fucking learned my lesson. So, overall, I’m glad to have a stable place to still call home, but how to get money again is the issue. Leaving my ‘official’ job back in 2020 messed me up mentally, the fact my standards of a job now is just to be treated as a human being with minimum pay is sad. I know I have worth, but getting yelled at every day over the littlest of things really messed me up. On the plus side, the manager of the complex we were dealing with got ‘replaced’ with a new one! My mom was one of the few old tenants to stand her ground here against them, apparently, they were kicking off older tenants for a variety of reasons. So they decided to ‘evict’ us just because my mom went to the main office instead to dispute about an extra parking space, the biggest red flag was them refusing to take our money orders then later on claiming that we were now ‘not paying rent’ thus deserved to get evicted. UGH, I’m telling you, the whole process was so fucking weird to deal with LIKE HAVE ANY OF YOU GUYS HEARD OF SOMEONE FIGHTING AN EVICTION FOR OVER A YEAR??? NEVER GETTING THE COPS CALLED ON THEM OR ANYTHING JUST LITERALLY ENDLESS NOTICES UNTIL THE COURT FINALLY TOOK US IN. I am suffering in debt now but wow I could not believe this all started over a landlord getting called out - I’m so glad they are gone.

Career

I still work as an assistant to an acupuncturist, I think it’s about to be 5 years now? This is technically my first job but at this point, it just feels like I’m helping my grandma since well I’ve never been close to my actual ones. I’ve mentioned it before but if for some reason new people read this, basically I had gone to see her as a patient with acne scars, and yeah wanted them dealt with SO micro-needling in a way. The old assistant was leaving, and I was going to stop my sessions due to lack of money now, so she decided to give me the job. It’s well, something still, business pretty much died due to Covid, and well with the recession and all it’s basically not cheap to go here. The treatment works, just money comes into play, as in general acne isn’t something cheap to deal with (especially since it’s mainly based on genetic factors). I miss getting treatments myself, but since we only work 2 days.....you get the point. I still would rather be her last assistant till she retires though, or at least until her niece works with her SO overall it’s either another part-time job or wait till I’m done with school. I have no idea what I want to do still, all I want is to be treated well really, it’s sad but I really don’t mind doing mundane things so long as I’m helping others. Because of my variety of interests, however, I’ve been so tempted to go back into food service, especially if it is at a bakery! Given my rising interest in plants and wildfire, however, it’d be cool to also work in that realm BUT I chalk it up to me just wanting to go out and explore in general. Overall, I still want to work in something related to psychology, hence my pickiness in an internship. SO MANY OF THESE SITES JUST WANT A SOCIAL MEDIA INTERN, YOU FUCKERS IF I WANTED TO DO A MARKETING JOB I WOULD HAVE MAJORED IN THAT, I know we live in a capitalistic society but god damn I do not want to waste my internship on something like this. THEN THE ABA ISSUE, literally a whole fucking sham I’m telling you, in what world do you think it’s safe to send out students to families like this???? If a job offers a bonus sign up it’s a sham like AND THEN BEING ON CALL?????? I’m tired bro - literally if I am so desperate for an internship I am going to cry in picking a site like that.

Mentally and Physically

Oh man, I have been on a trip. This year I am in therapy, it’s provided by the school, and currently doing 1-on-1 and an art therapy group (on a waitlist for another therapist with my primary healthcare). It’s been a lot, I cry often still, and in front of others again. Especially with dealing with serious past issues (being a CSA victim for one), for like almost 6 years now I’ve tried to cope with my mental issues alone - please seek out therapy. I’m serious, it has helped me a lot, it’s fucking terrifying but you feel so much better knowing that you are being heard and consulted. My breakdowns got so bad that I’m going off birth control just to see if that has caused a rise in things, I have pinpointed around 4 moments where I literally wanted to end things for myself. Given my issues, I could not imagine a ‘normal’ person taking all these things at once without at least feeling exhausted. So, it’s been a long time coming, but I am glad I am receiving the help I needed. As you can imagine, however, I’ve distanced myself online to avoid downsprialing in social media as I usually do. It sucks, especially since I am a closed-off person with only 4 bonds (my partner, my two friends, and my brother) BUT I’ve also noticed that a lot of my interests online were getting negative (pokemon, dceu, star wars etc) so to avoid the heartbreak it means to distant myself more. ALTHOUGH, yes I am more active on my side twitter with dimileth than anything else, hey they have been a pairing that has made me very emotional over so it’s been comforting for me (especially with being sexually liberated and all). Overall, I am trying to do better. Physically I have been more active, the campus gym being free really helps, and I’ve been taking weekly yoga classes to cope better. Ideally, I want to just be able to take the goddamn stairs without panting like a bitch, but a push-up would be great to fwjofijwofiwfwjf ALSO I forgot to mention that food stamps have really helped me as a broke student! I’ve also cut off soda or rather just cold drinks in general, the only caffeinated things I can tolerate now are sweet coffee and matcha which I rely on for my mornings. I can make a list of foods but for the sake of this part, basically being more active both mentally and physically.

Relationship

Ah man, if you are reading this still, you are a trooper. But I wanted to share it here since well, this is my blog after all. I will probably make an official post about this eventually but I AM ENGAGED. This is going to bite me in the ass later but fuck it, I can’t wait to marry this weenie I’ve been with since high school. It’s been such a mess but I literally am ready to settle down with this fool, he’s been through so much with me that just the mere thought of him gone from my life tears me up. As mentioned, birth control messed me up, but it has taught me a lot about what I want in a committed relationship. M and I went on a family trip of sorts to Joshua Tree National Park, it was with his extended family and I was so excited since it was my first National Park and potential in the well family! Unfortunately, the trip did not go well, I saw what a broken marriage can be and it really affected me. I felt like shit, and I just remember crying in the car wanting to leave cause I couldn’t take seeing them in pain and M understood. I felt guilty, this was his family after all, but it was like a reminder for both of us how families aren’t at all what they seem. I felt like despite the terrible experience however, it made me realize that I never want to be like that, I want to make things work and not even THINK of taking it out in front of others with no remorse, at the end of the day children shouldn’t be exposed to this conflict - as a broken child I can’t imagine doing that to one of my own. I’m so fucking critical of families now but I can’t help it, I want the best for my family, and I want to do better. So, YES, I’m sure M and I will go on rough paths once again but seeing all these struggling relationships makes me realize that what I have is something to be grateful for - wow this is so preachy fiwojfwoifjwo f

Overall

Honestly? I still never expect anyone to read this, but as always, it gives me time to reflect on my life all while realizing that I do have a blog for like 7 years now. I do feel guilty for not keeping the blog updated, but well, as you read, it hasn’t been easy for me. In high school, I remember drawing all the time, and now I keep staring at others' draw wishing I can do the same. I’ve been more active on Instagram since my friends dragged me along there, so it’s been great to keep up in well irl things since I was so used to just living in my own bubble. I swear it’s like after Ben Solo died nothing has been the same fjwoifjwf literally COVID hit and life has changed for everyone since. I unfollowed a lot of blogs here in order to give myself a fresh start, and well hoping to queue from my drafts again first before starting to blog again. Will I draw soon? Probably not, despite getting the Ipad I feel like I stopped drawing, so maybe it’s really just trying to draw back on paper again to get the mood. I know I’ve completely dropped fandoms, but well the ongoing content that comes with them hasn’t been making me happy SO I would rather post things that make me happy. It sucks, especially if you follow me for something specific, but well that is just life after all. I am not sure what exactly I want this blog to be still, but I think the premise is still the same as ever - random stuff I like. From Pokemon, to Horror, to now a pairing from a Fire Emblem game that is almost 3 years now? All while getting a BA in psychology?????? Truly, thank you for sticking around, I’m going to be updating my socials despite my messy state but hope you have been doing well!!! If not, we struggle together!!!! *disappears*

(My baby is turning 7 in August - time is really going by)

#cat's random rambles #long post #fjwoifjwofijw #it's been so long that the tags aren't saving for me again #whomst

5 notes · View notes

valleynix · 2 years

Note

Another one down. I was annoyed for like the first half of the chapter😭

My blood pressure every time the Red pal was mentioned 🔼🔼🔼

Cass has my full support on the dislike of their presence in the castle. SAME. The joy when I read that they finally left...

Anyway.

DANIELA

Daniela, tell me about the lily. What does the lily mean?

Pls her unintentionally killing her lovers coz she's not aware of her strength and the fear she'll hurt Reader too :(

This is always such a sad and heart-aching trope.

You out there doing god's work and giving the sisters different body types <3

But Dani being insecure :( like no, ma'am you're beautiful and perfect just the way you are. This little fly deserves all the reassurance and worship in the whole world 🛐🛐🛐

When you told me about sweet Dani scenes I didn't expect THAT 😳

But I'm not complaining, it was all really sweet indeed and had such safe and comfort vibes and like yes ✨communication ✨

Idk it warmed my heart. It wasn't like the usual stuff I come across in writing.

After the last chapter I was afraid that all the progress made with Cassandra was ruined and that it'd take some time to regain her trust and get on her good side again :/ but what a nice surprise it was that she and Reader talked and Reader even told her about the stuff with the other reality and Lunatic (even if she may think of them as crazy but they already seem like insane so ssdggh). It's good they opened up about it.

If it comes to it, perhaps Cass will be able to at least save her mama and sisters :(

What an even nicer surprise it was when Cass kissed them like oh my god ~200k words, ~30h of waiting for that very moment and it happened in quite unexpected circumstances considering Reader just fucked up badly a while ago.

And Cassandra was so cute with her kisses. Slightly confused about what she's supposed to do, unlike her sisters pls I love her.

It's so nice to see a different interpretation of her character😭

Anyway that was so mean of you to throw that argument with Alcina right after the moment with Dani 😐

Ginger Snaps? Reader Snaps. And comes out as a bird🐥

Wings huh, a symbol of everything Reader hates. Funny how everyone else loves them. Maybe they'll help Reader accept who they are. Because it doesn't define them as a person but can work as an advantage.

^me waiting patiently to hear your lovely takes on what's going on

*AW NO, NOT ANNOYED LMAO. fair though, that was some shit that went on

*you're going to learn very quickly why we don't like Red in this house :D

*listen Cass has the BEST vibe checker, and Red simply does not pass it

*HEHE FINALLY DANI!!

*i really feel like, with the excitement of having another sister/daughter, no one warned her that she was a hell of a lot stronger than she used to be, and that caused... issues, obviously. the main reason she wanted Reader to "take control" (she's a power bottom, cmon now) was so that she would have a much less chance of hurting them. poor baby can't stand the thought of hurting anyone she actually likes :(

*hehe, i tried my best to make them a little more realistic <3 with how much she copies her sisters, i wouldn't be surprised to find she also compares herself to them, and considering they actually have different body types in TPtM... unsurprising she would be insecure and wouldn't have given anyone else the chance to reassure her

*we love communication here! Dani strikes me as the one to communicate literally everything to her partner (where to touch, what feels good, etc.), regardless of what it is or how significant it actually is; the trouble is getting her to not ramble about flowers or rocks or whatever else is on her mind during spicy time

*it was definitely supposed to be a much softer moment as compared to anything else they've done with each other up until then :D

*listen, i could literally never do that (i'm on pc so imagine i put a crying face). i feel Cassandra is too mature for that, and with her already knowing what was going on but wanting Reader to admit to it, i don't think she'd completely give up everything over an accident/misunderstanding

*i think lots of people were surprised to read that Cass was the first to know about everything going on. she probably wouldn't have poked it out of them had it not been for the fact she saw them talking to someone that wasn't there, but it is good to finally have at least one person they can rely on through it all :o

*ahaha... aha.... haha.... about that-

*she has had a week basically to herself to figure out what she's feeling, why she was so upset to find them outside with Daria, why her heart flutters in her chest when they smile at her... all the fun, totally straight stuff you experience, yknow

*listen. listen. i genuinely don't like horndog Cass and feel it can be very bland to write her that way, even as much as she teases others about it (or how she sits on Reader's lap, pins them to the bed, etc. without actually meaning to go further), so i thought... what if... Reader was basically her "first"... her first kiss, her first "human" she's actually cared about... pls she's so awkward i love her

*i have said it before and i'll say it again: Alcina can be a toxic lover. when she wants information, she will get it one way or another, but i think i did write that she apologized for pushing them that far? she's pushed their buttons again and again before, just never to that extent. i can understand her frustrations, but Alcina, pls

*mm, it was nice to write that Reader hates that part of themself and what it means, what it represents, while everyone else thought the wings were cool as fuck. i don't think anyone even mentioned how similar they were to Miranda's (yet? it's been a minute since i've even worked on TPtM), and i feel that's a step in the right direction, distancing themself from her/her influence

definitely looking forward to how you'll react in chapter thirteen, and i will warn you that it's a doozy. be prepared. you may hate me after LMAOO <333

#asks #to promise the moon #speaking of i do have to work on tptm #i had a different thing to work on but i didnt even get halfway #eh #always tomorrow #why be productive when i can write about homosexuals

4 notes · View notes

brendashmenda · 3 years

Note

YOUR MY FAVORITE ACCOUNT EVERRR!!! can you write about aot characters being twerked on? thank you!

OMG yes!! Lmk if you want a part 2 for any characters I didn’t do

and happy valentines day as well <33 (in my timezone it’s technically still the late hours hehe)

eren: looks at you like you‘re actually crazy asf but then also expects you to act like hes not crazy for dragging you into another room and commanding you to do it again. watches you with wide eyes, pupils blown. he’s probably never seen anyone twerk before, at least not right in front of him. he loves it, just don’t do it around anyone else.

armin: ok bro if this is in public (in front of friends) he’s so embarrassed…he’d just slightly push you off him (but he doesn’t want u to be embarrassed either so he’d still hold your hand but he’s still kinda dying inside…will most likely complain abt it to you later while laying on top of you, voice muffled into your skin)…but if it’s in private i assure you he’s still flustered but much less so.

levi: would stare at you like wtf and would judge hardcore. if this is canon compliant levi lets be real he would ignore you for at least a week straight. but if this is more fanon...well, he’d ignore you in public for sure, but as soon as you’re home he’d realistically get pissed off at you for dancing suggestively, and he’d let you know, non verbally...by edging you till you promise to never do it again ;)

hange: laughs their fucking ass off…and grinds into you, rotating their hips in circles against your ass. doesn’t take it too seriously, just has fun with it. they don’t care who sees, everyone knows you’re their bitch anyways. (joking but also not). but yeah expect a lot of teasing and them egging you on.

jean: oh nahhhh he is such a tease, holds your waist ever so lightly in his hands, guiding your hips in their movement. And I assure you that if you were trying to get any edge over him by making him flustered?? uno reverse. He’s got your skin heating up as leans down so your back is against his chest, and he’s not even moving his hips at all, but making you do all the work…he’s absolutely living for this

connie: omg he’s your hypeman. Outwardly, he’s leaning back, pumping his arms in the air, cheering you on, and if anyone was initially judging you, well trust me, with his enthusiasm they’re not anymore. but inwardly, he’s absolutely flustered, and thinks above all that what you’re doing is insanely hot and that you’re the baddest bitch ever.

mikasa: she’s incredibly flustered and can barely even look at you, just politely averting her eyes. but don’t let that fool you, you can feel her slightly pressing against you, ever so subtly, with her thigh against your ass, slightly encouraging you. but if anyone so much as glances your way, she’ll be taking a giant ass step back, cause she doesn’t like to be caught in awkward situations.

pieck: smiles and pats your ass, encouraging you to do it more. she frowns and gets pouty when you stop, despite you explaining that you can’t twerk for that long of a time. compared to the others, she doesnt think it’s weird or embarrassing at all... cause have y’all seen this woman?? she crawls around on all 4s she dgaf if you‘re having fun, even if it means people see you literally grinding your ass up and down on her.

erwin: would make you stop in a proper public scenario cause he cares about his image but would lowkey love it in private. ‘do the thing y/n.’ He doesn’t even know what it’s called, he just knows it’s hot and it makes him want to fuck you <3

761 notes · View notes

storiesforallfandoms · 3 years

Text

meet cute ~ bo burnham

word count: 1752

request?: yes!

“i love your work so much so i am literally begging for meeting bo burnham fluff. just kind of like an instant connection, maybe music or humor wise. thank you so much love!!”

description: in which they meet at a coffee shop and have an instant connection

pairing: bo burnham x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

Do you want to hear the most cliché story ever? Picture this: girl walks into a coffee shop and orders a drink. Her order is called, she reaches for drink, and she bumps hands with a very tall, very handsome man who just so happens to have the same drink order as her.

Feels like you’re reading a chick lit novel, right? Well, this is how I happened to meet Bo.

I worked from home and got to decide when I got to take my breaks and how long they would be. On this particular day, I felt like I was about to fall asleep at my desk at any moment, so I decided to take a little break and go to the nearest coffee shop for a pick me up.

I had been on my phone while I waited for my order, and wasn’t paying too much attention when the order was called. I reached for it and felt my hand collide with someone else’s. When I looked up, I was met with a pair of blue eyes that were peering down at me from a man who was a solid foot higher than me.

“Sorry,” we both said at the same time, which caused us both to chuckle a little.

“I have a feeling we had the same order,” he said. “Three sugars, no cream or milk?”

“That’s me alright,” I said. “I didn’t think anyone was as insane as I am to put three sugars in their coffee.”

“Oh, trust me, I am plenty insane. I’m gonna need those sugars to get me through this day.”

The barista holding the coffee cleared his throat and looked between the stranger and I. We both realized we hadn’t actually taken the coffee from him, and he was just stood there, a coffee outstretched in his hand, being held back from doing his work while we talked.

I looked up at the stranger, who nodded for me to take the coffee. “I’ll wait for the next one.”

I took the coffee and immediately took a sip. The hot liquid burned my tongue and throat, but I needed the pick me up as soon as possible.

The stranger laughed at my eagerness. “Most people wait for that to cool down.”

“I don’t have time for it to cool down. I feel like I’m going to fall asleep standing up,” I sighed.

“Long day?” he asked. Before I could respond, his coffee order was called and the same barista from before thrusted the paper cup at him. “Hold that thought.”

I didn’t need to stand there and wait for this stranger to get his coffee. I didn’t know him, I didn’t owe him an explanation for me feeling so tired and wanting my coffee immediately. I certainly didn’t need to follow him to a nearby table after he asked, “Have time to sit for a while?”

But I did all those things. I couldn’t explain why, but there was just something nice about having someone to talk to. Sure, I had friends and family, and my other work from home co-workers, but it was refreshing to have a new face to talk to. Someone who didn’t actually know me, so wouldn’t be questioning me or judging me for anything I was about to say.

Also, he was pretty freaking cute.

When we sat down, I decided to take the first step forward in becoming more than just strangers at a coffee shop. “My name is (Y/N), by the way. I figure I ought to tell you that now before we start talking for a while and realize we didn’t even exchange names.”

The stranger smiled, but I could tell it wasn’t a genuine one. He shuffled in his seat as he muttered something in response. I tilted my head in confusion and said, “Huh?”

“Bo,” he said. “My name, it’s-it’s Bo.”

“Well, nice to meet you Bo.”

He seemed surprised by my reaction. "That’s...that’s all you have to say?”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “What did you expect? For me to make fun of your name? I mean, I hear Bo and I think of Little Bo Peep, but we just met. I’m not about to make fun of your name yet.”

He laughed, still seeming surprised. “No, I didn’t expect you to make fun of my name. Trust me, Bo isn’t even the worst part of my name. It’s just...well...not to be all ‘don’t you know who I am’, but I’m kind of a celebrity. I kind of expected you to freak out or something.”

I tried to think back to if I knew any celebrities named Bo, but my mind came up blank. I shrugged and shook my head. “Sorry, can’t say I really know you. Should I?”

“Oh, no. I’m not...well I am...I’m like B list famous I guess. I’m a comedian, I started on YouTube and then got super famous out of nowhere basically. If you’re into Internet stuff you’d probably know me.”

“I am into Internet stuff, but I really don’t think I’ve come across your videos before. Maybe I could watch them after today.”

“I wouldn’t recommend my videos because I was young and super cringy, but I do have two specials on Netflix that I’m proud of. A couple albums on Spotify and Apple Music, too.”

“Okay, no need to brag Mr. Big Shot.”

When he laughed again, I could tell he was more relaxed. I was glad to give him that moment of peace and reassurance that I wasn’t about to sell all his private information on the Internet or something. It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and now he felt free to talk to me like a normal human being.

We got back to the topic of my need for coffee. I told him about my stay at home job and about my exhaustion that day. I figured it had to do with me being up late the night before trying to finish an important project, and then not being able to sleep afterwards because I was high on adrenaline from the project. Now, trying to work my normal hours and be a functioning human being in the day time felt like the biggest challenge ever for me.

“See, that’s why you don’t leave things till last minute,” Bo said. “If you do them in a timely manner, you don’t fuck up your sleep schedule.”

“You have a point there, but you’re missing the fact that I don’t have time to do it in a timely manner. I work pretty well all day, and then when I finish working I either sleep or I have adult things to do.”

Bo put a finger against his lips like he was thinking and nodded. “Hmm, yeah, you have a good point there I guess.”

After some more conversation, I looked down at my coffee cup and realized it was almost empty. I didn’t realize how much time had passed. I knew I should be getting back to work, but I wasn’t exactly jumping to go home. I was having a nice time sitting here and getting to know Bo.

I guess he was starting to think the same thing because I saw him start to look at his watch. Desperate to keep this going for at least a little while longer, I cut stopped him by asking, “So, what kind of comedy do you do? Stand up?”

“Uh, yeah kind of,” he said, lowering his arm and looking down at his coffee cup instead. “My whole thing is I do musical comedy, usual satirical stuff. I used to do stand up but...I’ve given up on that I think.”

“You think?” I asked.

“Yeah. I...I started having panic attacks on stage while I was performing. So severe that I felt like I was dying. I did two tours and realized after the second one that I can’t keep putting myself through that. So...I’m taking a break from it but...I think I might be giving it up for good. I don’t think I’m mentally capable of going back on stage any time soon.”

Before I could stop myself, I reached across the table to put my hand on his. “Oh, Bo, I’m so sorry. I didn’t...I shouldn’t have - ”

He waved away my apology with his free hand. “Don’t worry about it. You didn’t know. No one does, really. I don’t exactly speak about it publicly. I don’t want people to pity me or view me any different because of it. I do want to make people more aware of mental illness in Hollywood and try to end that stigma around mental illness in general, but I want to keep that part of me private for a little while longer.”

Silence fell over us again. I realized I was still holding his hand, but he wasn’t trying to pull away. I didn’t want to pull away, either. I could’ve stayed like that for a while longer.

Unfortunately, Bo finally moved his arm to check the time. His eyes widened as he jumped up from the table, pulling his hand away from mine quickly.

“Shit, I’m late,” he said. “Fuck, I didn’t realize the time.”

I stood with him, not in such a rush as he was. If he was leaving, I figured it was time I go as well.

“What’s the former comedian got going on that he’s late for?” I asked.

“Directorial duty,” he responded. “I wrote a movie that got greenlit and we’ve been filming it the past few weeks. We’re almost finished, but we’ll never get it all done if I don’t show up to set on time.”

He paused a moment before grabbing a napkin from the dispenser on the table. He took a pen from his pocket and wrote something on the napkin before passing it to me.

“I enjoyed getting to talk to you for a while,” he said. “If...if you’d like to have more time to talk in the future. Maybe...like a date or something. You can, uh, you can give me a call.”

He said goodbye and left before I could respond. I looked down at the napkin in my hand, his quick handwriting scrawling the digits across the paper. I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I slipped the napkin into my pocket and finally leaving to go back to work.

#Bo Burnham #bo burnham imagine #bo burnham x reader #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

178 notes · View notes

letsloveimagines · 4 years

Photo

Title: Crush

Pairing: Corpse Husband x fem!youtuber!reader

Collab with: @the-winter-sxldier-posts

Requested by: @unicornblood4ever

Request: Hi I just saw your request post for Corpse, so if you're still taking requests I have one. The reader have been on a losing streak, and Corpse tries to help. But accidentally rats himself out as the second imposter. With fluff if possible, of course only if you have time to write and everything.

Word Count: 3963

Warnings: a little angts and fluff, i guess?

Note: The images doesn’t belong to me, all the credits go to the respective creators. I only made the collage. Also, I will not make anything to make Corpse uncomfortable, if he ends saying he doesn’t like fanfiction about him, I will delete this.

Part II: Here

♦⋅☆⋅♦

Y/N sat down at her gaming setup, she was getting ready to start a stream she had been invited by her friend Felix (aka Pewdiepie) to play among us with him, and some other friends. She made sure everything was in order before starting it. She had been doing this for so long, but each time it felt like the first, and there was always that little chill in her belly indicating she was nervous.

She got onto her twitter quickly, just to let people know she was live in case they didn't get the notification about it. As people started coming in, Y/N smiled at the camera. “Hey guys, welcome to the stream.” She read one of the comments from chat asking what she was gonna be playing on stream today. “Today we are streaming some “Among Us’ with some friends, and I am getting to who they are before you guys spam it in chat. I’m going to be playing with Corpse, Sykkuno, Rae, Felix, Seán, Lily, Toast, Poki and Leslie.”

She joined the discord call, as the game loaded up. Y/N had her facecam in the middle on the bottom screen to make sure that she wouldn’t leak the code, once Felix sent it to the discord. Once the code was entered they were in the lobby and Y/N, went to the little mini computer in the game to customize her astronaut, and as always she was quick to pick the white colored one with the pink flower on her helmet. “Hey guys.” Y/N said to her friends in discord with a smile. Felix was the first to speak “Y/N finally you’re here!” She and everyone else laughed as he kept talking, excitedly. “We are still waiting for Corpse and Seán to join before we start, they’ll be here in a minute.” Everyone had said their hellos to Y/N as Seán joined the discord call and the game, followed shortly by Corpse. “Hey, Seán, Corpse.” “Hey, Y/N.” “Whaddup baby.” They both said at the same time making everyone laugh once more, as they all had their characters customized. Y/N’s face turned a few shades of red at what Corpse had said, and her chat was quick to pick up on it. “That is everyone, we are starting the game now.” She muted her mic after Felix had started the game and the black screen with the red astronaut, said shhhhh. Then her screen read ‘Crewmate, there are 2 imposters among us.’

She blew out a breath talking to the chat. “At least we can warm up as a crewmate this round.”

But…

It didn't take much longer for her to get killed, which made her swear. She knew she couldn't trust Felix but she did anyway, and he literally stabbed her in the back… What a traitor.

♦⋅☆⋅♦

The time passed faster than it should have, or at least that’s what it seemed to the group of friends who were just having fun.

Y/N had now been streaming for an hour, and she was on a major losing streak. She either got crewmate, or voted out first as imposter because she was a bad liar. Or when that didn't happen, she was one of the first ones to be killed, and had to spend the entire game floating from one side of the ship to the other as a little white ghost, completing tasks for her team to win. To be honest, she was already a little irritated about that. They were now in the lobby talking to each other while waiting to start the next game. Y/N's nostrils were flared with frustration after another round of failure at being an imposter. She sighed, unmuting her mic."I just wanted to say that in all of these rounds I must have played a full 8 seconds! Like come on, what's wrong with me today!?"

That phrase was enough to make the others burst out laughing, including her chat. The comments came and went so fast, sliding on the screen on her right side, that she could barely keep up.

Sykkuno, like the blessed and pure angel he was, replied amid laughter: "Don't worry, you're just on a bad streak. Better luck next time."

"Yeah, I guess." She answered while moving her mini white astronaut in circles, being quickly accompanied by the black astronaut with horns on his helmet. Y/N smiled at that.

"Stop talking guys, I'll start the new round now." Pewds, who was the host, almost screamed at them.

Y/N cracked her neck and her fingers preparing herself.

"Stay with me this time Y/N, and I'll protect you." A deep voice was heard through her headphones, causing a shiver to go all the way down her spine.

"Oh!" She exclaimed surprised, looking at her chat that was going insane with everyone saying how cute that was. "Thank you, Corpse, let's do that."

"No problem." She could hear the smile in his voice.

The game was started and the black screen with the red astronaut, said shhhhh. Then her screen read IMPOSTER.

Y/N quickly muted her mic, as soon as she stopped listening to her friends speak. "Okay, I wasn't expecting that." She commented to her chat, very surprised, because next to her doll was Corpse's own little character. "Well, maybe my luck is changing. Everyone heard that Corpse and I were going to be together, so at least now we have an alibi if anyone suspects us." Corpse danced around Y/N, suggesting she follow him, and immediately she did. They both went through the ship as he was looking for innocent astronauts for them to murder. They ended up in medbay first, where Y/N faked her samples task, with Corpse watching over her and making sure that no one would find their behavior suspicious.

And, oh, how her luck seemed to have increased when Felix walked in. Y/N immediately pulled up the sabotage map and locked the medbay doors, and Corpse was quick to kill him. That made the girl laugh hard, yelling out loud. "That was just karma having its way!"

Then both vented out as the doors were still locked.

Y/N smiled talking to the chat. “Pewds is dead, next if the opportunity arises we need to get Seán. They are the two that always sus me out even when I’m a crewmate.” She went back to the game as they vented into electrical, since nobody was there presently. They both faked tasks in electrical, Y/N going first with Corpse watching her back. To her surprise, Seán walked in all alone and right as she was going to get her first kill, when Felix’s body was reported. She rolled her eyes. “Damn, so close to getting them both.” She said to her fans as she unmuted the mic, and saw that Rae was the one that found Pewds.

“Where is the body?” Y/N questioned trying to keep her voice level and calm, to not give herself away. “Pewds is dead in medbay.” Was the answer she got from the other girl. “Y/N and I were in Electrical with Seán.” Corpse said, trying to immediately shift suspicion off of the two of them. “They were already there when I entered the room, however. I don't know where they came from before, though."

"We came in through storage, after Y/N and I both did the trash chute, Y/N stopped at the gas can and then we came to the electrical to do our tasks."

Y/N quickly muted herself. "God, Corpse is gonna carry us this round, I can already feel it…I just want one kill and that is Seán, Corpse can kill everyone else... I just want to kill Seán!" She unmuted again as the friends decided that they didn't have enough information to vote anyone, so they skipped and no one was ejected.

Corpse danced around again for Y/N to follow him and she did. This time they went through weapons. Y/N faked the task against the wall while Corpse faked one as well. Y/N brought up the sabotage map while they waited on the kill cool down to end.

Y/N sabotaged the lights, and the two imposters ran over there to turn them on as a way not to give anything that made them suspicious.

"Kill someone, don't wait for Corpse." Y/N read the comments, confused. "I don't know guys, are you sure? Today I haven't won any games as an imposter, so I don't want to give any reasons to make my team lose.” Looking back at the screen of the computer, she smiled seeing that the two little astronauts were touching each other, eye to eye, in what would probably be a strange little kiss. "Awww guys, look! Corpse just kissed me, this is too cute to handle."

But there was something that the fans did not fail to notice, and were quick to tell her that.

User: She's blushing!

User: This is so cute, I'm dying.

User: UGH, I ship them together so much!

"Oh, shut up y’all." She said with her face on fire, clearing her throat trying to make her voice normal again. However, the pink tone that painted her cheeks did not want to disappear, getting worse and worse as she thought about it. “Okay, as much as I don't like it, I'm going to do what you said. I’m sorry, Corpse." And then she quickly ran away, going to another path separated from Corpse, looking for someone alone that she could kill.

Hopefully it would be Seán.Y/n would be the first to agree that she was a little obsessed with getting her revenge. But could you blame her? Seán and Felix were almost always the reason she got voted out or killed first.

She went around the map, and on the navigation she found Lily alone. "Oh oh, poor Lily, but I need to do this." She was quick to press the button, kill and enter the vent, leaving Lily's body cut in half behind.

"Quickly, I need to find someone to be my alibi! Where's Corpse?" She came out of a different vent, running and seeing Rae nearby, quickly joining her. It didn't take long before someone reported the body. "Oh no, I'm sweating already."

“Lily’s body was in navigation.” Leslie said.

“And Toast is dead too, so it was a double kill this round.”

"Where have you been, Leslie?" Corpse asked with such a deep and calm voice that if Y/N were not the other imposter, she would think he was innocent. “I was with Sykkuno in security, looking at the cameras.”

“Yes, I was with him.” The mentioned boy said.

“Well, I was with Poki in medbay but I needed to do the asteroids in weapons. So, when I finished in weapons I went down, and found the body." Leslie replied.

"That seems a little sus to me, to be honest."

"Yeah, seems pretty sus to me too." Y/N repeated after Corpse, trying to help.

"Okay, wait a minute." Rae began, suspiciously. "I was with Y/N for a while because we met in storage, but she came from the right side of the map, I saw it."

"Explain yourself, Y/N."

'Oh no. Busted.' Thought the girl nervously looking at the camera. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, and replied as calmly as she could: "Well, yes it's true, but I was in comms uploading. When I finished I left and that's when I found Rae in storage."

"It's her!" Seán accused.

"Definitely."

"What!?" Y/N asked shocked. "No, I'm not the imposter guys, I swear!"

"Y/N, stop, it makes perfect sense. I'm voting." She rolled her eyes, that is exactly why she wanted to kill Seán.

It was then that Corpse interrupted: "It couldn't have been her, she was with me."

'What?' Y/N asked herself, 'No, I wasn’t. What is he doing?'

"But... You said you were with Sykkuno."

"I... Yeah, but before that I was with her in Comms, but I left to go to the Security."

"And what path did you take?" Rae questioned.

"I went through storage, then electrical and I went up."

"That’s impossible because I went down the left side, and went through electrical and I didn't see you."

"They’re both the imposters, oh my god." Was Seáns revelation.

"No, we are not. What he said is true!" Y/N tried to defend.

"I'm going to vote Corpse this time just for his audacity!" Rae exclaimed excitedly. "Then we vote for Y/N!"

"What!?" Corpse said shocked. "No...!"

But it was too late, and quickly his little bean body flew off the ship. ‘Corpse was ejected.’

The girl could do nothing more than gawk at the computer screen, still shocked by what had happened. "No!" She said when she muted the microphone. "The game is already lost. What can I do?" She questioned, guilty.

User: Noooo! Poor Corpse.

User: He was defending her :(

User: It's her fault that they found out he was the other imposter.

Guilt weighed on Y/N's heart and she felt saddened. Why did she have to ruin everything? "I know, I'll apologize to him when I can." She whispered to the chat, quietly, running around with her character confusedly. "What do I do now? Do I kill someone or do I play innocent?"

But at that time a meeting was called by Seán who was camped by the emergency button, and everyone got together to speak.

"Yes?"

"Well, we already know who the other imposter is. Are we going to vote her out or not?" He said laughing.

"Guys, please don't, it’s not me."

"Sorry Y/N, but you're the only one sus right now."

"What about Leslie?” Y/N tried. “She left Poki in medbay, she could have gone to navigation, killed Lily, self-reported and said she was in weapons!"

"No, don't believe her!" Leslie shouted. “She’s lying.”

"I know it's Y/N, I'm going to vote for her!"

And one by one everyone voted, and the game was over.

"Good job guys, we did it." The others celebrated while the girl almost pouted.

"What happened, Corpse? I’ve never seen you like that, well, playing so badly I mean." Sykkuno questioned his friend timidly.

There was silence from Corpse for a moment, before he simply said. "I don’t know.”

Swallowing hard, Y/N spoke softly. "Corpse?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"Ehh, don't be. That's alright."

But that was not enough to erase her guilt. "You know Seán this is exactly why I was gonna kill you in the electrical, before Rae found Felix's body. You always sus me out even when I’m innocent."

“But you were the imposter this time!”

After a new game where she quickly died (Seán was the one who broke her neck and left her body in admin), the girl was quick to open Discord and send a message to the deep-voiced boy, who as much - as she didn't want to admit it, even more to herself - was her crush.

Y/N: I’m so sorry I got you voted out, honestly, I feel so bad about it. I’m such a bad imposter.

CORPSE: Y/N, It’s fine, really. There’s no need for you to feel bad about it ♥.

This put a smile on the girl's face again, and her chat was quick to question what was going on. She shrugged her shoulders and gave no further answer, Y/N returned to concentrating on the game, with the corner of her lips lifted in a half smile that she couldn’t control.

♦⋅☆⋅♦

Time quickly passed full of fun for the ten friends, and the thousands of people who watched them. Y/N didn't win any of the rounds, but she didn't care about it anymore. After another hour of playing she decided to say goodbye and finish the stream, feeling the tiredness dominating her. She ate something and took a long and relaxing bath, which eased her aching muscles, and was already in her fluffy blue pajama pants, and was getting ready to go to bed when her phone rang.

Picking it up from the nightstand, she looked at the screen and gasped in surprise seeing who was facetiming her. A shiver ran down her spine. Shaking from head to toe, with her heart pounding, she quickly ran her hand through her hair making sure she was at least minimally presentable, before she answered it, saying nervously, "Hey, Corpse, is everything okay?"

The screen came to life, with her tiny image in the corner and the completely black screen dominating it. Of course he wouldn't turn on the camera, nor did she want him to do it if he didn't feel comfortable. It was already surprising that he actually called, since he has never done that before, and that was what made her even more nervous.

"I just wanted to check on you." His voice came through the phone.

That made her face heat up a little. She was thankful that the only light she had on was the lamp on her nightstand and he couldn’t see how red her face got.

"Cute pajamas by the way." He said while laughing a little bit, provoking her.

"Well, I would say the same thing, but I can't see anything." Y/N provoked back.

There was a comfortable silence after that, a silence that the two of them seemed afraid to try to break. The girl laid down on her bed, curled up under her warm sheets, and looked at the black screen kindly, with her head resting on the pillow.

"So-"

"I-" They both said at the same time, and immediately stopped talking when they realized that. “Go ahead-” “You first-” they once again said at the exact same time.

Y/N tried to speak. She really tried. She was so prepared to tell him the truth, to tell him how much she was into him, that she was in fact in love with him… She was prepared to say that meeting him, and having him in her life for the past few months was one of the best things that ever happened to her. Y/N was determined to speak, but when she tried, nothing came out. She stood there, opening and closing her mouth, sighing with a frown on her face.

"What's up?" Corpse asked seeing that, with concern in his voice.

"Nothing."

"Y/N, you know you can tell me anything."

"I know that." And she really did, Corpse was a good friend, an excellent friend who was always there for her... And that was exactly what she was afraid to ruin with her confession. "You are able to make me so nervous sometimes, even when I think I'm feeling brave."

"Oh, yeah?" He asked, and she could practically see his smile, even though she has never actually seen it. She was in love with a faceless man and she had no idea how to tell him that.

"Oh, shut up."

He laughed deeply for a long time, and that was enough to make her smile. Finally he stopped and said quietly, almost timidly. "I think what you wanted to say is exactly what I want to tell you."

Impossible, Y/N thought with a sad smile on her lips. I want to tell you how much I love you but… how could I? And who could ever love me?

"No, believe me, it isn't." “And how do you know it isn’t?” Y/N bit her lip a little unsure of how to answer him without revealing her feelings for him. “I-” But she cuts herself off, not having the courage to actually say the words. She pressed her face into the pillow to muffle the groan that came out of her mouth, at how much a coward she was being, but she mumbled out her response that was still muffled. “I just know.”

“What was that?” All he had heard were incoherent sounds.. She sighed, removing her face from the pillow not wanting to repeat what she had said, to save herself the rejection, since he couldn’t possibly feel the same way that she did about him.

“Are you really not going to tell me?” His voice broke through her thoughts. She sighed, trying to get away from the internal battle going on in her mind. “Y/N?” He spoke once again, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“If I say it... everything is gonna be ruined and weird for us, and I don’t want that. Your friendship is so important to me, you're my best friend.” She ran a hand down her face, furious with herself. “How do you know that, if you don’t say it?”

“Because I just do, okay?” Why couldn't he just let it go? "I-" She tried to say it out loud, once more. C'mon Y/N, just say it. "I gotta go!" She said quickly tried to end the call, but he wouldn't let her.

"No!" He screamed out sharply, taking her by surprise and then he did something she never thought he would do.

The screen, which was previously completely dark, lit up and his face finally appeared for the girl who loved him to see. Y/N sighed in shock, admiring all his features, from his ivory-white skin to his dark curly hair.

"I have a crush on you too." He confessed quietly, with a soft pink tinge appearing on his cheeks.

Did he just...? Oh my god!

There was silence again, but this time it was a silence that had become tense and terrifying for both of them. Corpse was nervous waiting for her to say something, and she could tell. His mouth was pressed in a thin line, he didn't seem able to face her as his gaze traveled anywhere but to her, and he fidgeted immensely, touching everything within reach from the rings - that she saw he had on his fingers - to the chain necklace he had around his neck.

"Oh." She sighed softly, not knowing what to say.

He looked at her then, apprehensive and almost ashamed. "Ugly, I know."

"No!" Y/N was quick to interrupt. "You are incredibly handsome just… just as I always imagined." The girl managed to see a small smile appear on his lips as he blushed deeply.

"I..."

"I’m in love with you too." She confessed, finally without fear. It felt like weight lifted off her to finally get it out in the open between the two of them.

Corpse’s eyes went wide, completely shocked but so, so happy. A huge smile full of shiny teeth on his face, as he focused all of his attention on Y/N. "You are?"

"Yes." She said blushing and smiling intensely as she snuggled up in the blankets, her face almost hidden when she looked at him dreamily.

"I-" He cleared his throat. "Good."

"Good."

"Great."

"Great!"

They burst out laughing, their voices mixing in hamornia. The two looked each other in the eye, separated by a mobile phone screen, separated by kilometers and kilometers... but even with everything that separated them, the world was not able to stop them from falling in love with each other.

"What do we do now?" He questioned.

"Well..." Y/N started. "We'll have to see, won't we? Why don't you start by giving me your address?"

Corpse smiled provocatively, his beautiful eyes shining maliciously. "Of course... But be careful now baby, the devil’s got his eyes on you."

Y/N laughed completely in love.

"Oh, shut up."

♦⋅☆⋅♦ Tag List: @breathygasps

#corpse husband #Corpse Husband Fandom #Corpse Fandom #corpse fanfiction #fanfiction #imagines #one-shot #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband oneshot #corpse x reader #corpse x y/n #corpse x you #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x you #corpse husband x y/n

3K notes · View notes

softyoongiionly · 3 years

Text

Portraits of a Tiger - The Finale

Legends of a great and equally terrifying warrior nicknamed the Tiger have been emerging from your fellow villagers for quite sometime. Stories of his skill, his stealth and his supposed wickedness have been passed around to the point where he is more prophecy than person. You have lived your life with a strong sense of conviction, rarely letting gossip influence your opinion. However, you would be lying if you said that his legacy didn’t intrigue you. When the Tiger and his infamous army arrive in your village to refuel, you come face to face with the man behind the myth.

And no amount of marketplace gossip would ever be enough to capture the true complexity of his nature.

Pairing: Merchant! Reader x Warrior! Yoongi

Genre: Adventure, Romance, Smut, Fluff, Angst, not intended to be a historical au.

Word Count: 28k

Warnings: depictions of violence, death, blood, choking, mentions of battle, heavy angst (happy endings only), LONGING, explicit language, mentions of grief, mentions of loss, mentions of insecurity, explicit smut: scratching, biting, lovebites, unprotected sex.

A/N: welp :( This is the end for now folks. I can’t believe I finally finished a series on this freakin’ blog lol. I am so incredibly grateful for your patience. I truly hope you enjoy it and if you do, I would love to hear from you. Whilst this is the end of the series, I wouldn’t be surprised if I wrote drabbles for it in the future so, if there is anything you’d like to see more of, please let me know :D

A few thank you notes to my sisters from across the globe @yoonia and @randombtsprincessa, the two of you are so important to me and, I am forever grateful for your friendship. I love you lots.

To @kithtaehyung @missgeniality @noelleydances thank you for always hyping me up and, being willing to chat with silly ol me. You’re all amazing and I LOVE YOU ALOT.

To @gldnrecs LISTEN IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW, LAY. I am so thankful you and, your willingness to scream with me in my dms. I’m so honored to know you and, I hope you know that I am always here if you need anything. ALSO HAPPY COLLEGE GRADUATION YOU FREAKING GENIUS. Please consider this (and Hobi’s conclusion specifically) my graduation present. Love you.

Love letter to Rachel: It’s very important for anyone who comes across this story to know that I would have NEVER EVER EVER be able to conjure up this universe without the help of my bestie @bulletproofbirdy. My friend, you are a genius and, it has truly been such an honor designing this world with you. I am so grateful that I’ve been able to create something with someone as amazing as you but, ON TOP OF IT??? We became so close that we literally talk every single day. I don’t know what to say without being the mushiest person ever but, I just want to thank you for being you. Without your love, your support and your BIG BRAIN, I would have never finished this series. I hope it lives up to all of your expectations. I love you.

The clouds hung in the air with a heaviness that was almost palpable. Storm season was looming over the horizon and, although you’re aware that the rain is more than overdue, you still feel a sense of doom clinging to your subconscious. This time of year, arrives like clockwork and your village is well-equipped to deal with all the rainfall, the thunder, the lightening...

But there was always a chance that the river would flood and thus there was always a chance for tragedy to strike; a chance for everything you’ve ever known to be swallowed whole. You know you can’t stop a flood. The water operates on its own axis, untethered by human convenience. It terrifies you yes but, you’re fascinated none the less.

With a deep sigh, you step away from the edge of the river. The soft bubbling of the water is intriguing you, eliciting a yearning within you to step inside just one last time. However, you know the bite of the water would be too much to handle on your bare feet and you really don’t want to catch a cold before the winter season has even started.

Turning around, the breath you are preparing to take gets lodged deep in the center of your throat. It’s Yoongi and he’s reaching out for you but the look of pain on his face alerts you that something is horribly wrong.

“Y/n...” He croaks, his eyes wide with fear as he reaches out to you and it’s then that you see the blood dripping from his fingers. Your eyes frantically travel down his figure before realizing the source of the blood.

A wound similar to that of a sword brandishes his lower stomach, staining his tunic and causing the bile in your stomach to swirl uncomfortably.

He’s hurt.

He’s hurt badly.

“Yoongi!” You cry to him, your heartbeat rising to a level that feels painful.

As you try to run to him however, he falls to his knees, the life sparking in his eyes one last time before he collapses.

The scream coming from your lips is unrecognizable but, thankfully it draws you upright in your bed, informing you that horrible scene you just witnessed, was only a dream.

You clutch your hand to your chest, breathing heavily, your eyes stinging as they well up with tears. Without thinking, you sob into the clasped hand over your lips, trying your best to calm down but the morbid images continue to assault your mind over and over.

The light streaming in through your window, informs you that the sun has risen. At least your nightmare had allowed you to sleep a full night before rudely interrupting. You swallow back another sob, forcing a deep breath through your nose while you remind yourself that Yoongi is ok.

But you can’t know that for sure, can you?

The small break in your logic is enough to make you rush out of bed and into your coat, not bothering to fix your appearance as you shove your feet into your shoes. Thankfully, your parents are still sleeping soundly in their beds when you bustle through the main room and towards the door.

You have to see for yourself; even a glimpse of him could loosen the grip that fear currently has on your mind. You take the back way to avoid the marketplace which already shows signs of coming to life. You would need to make it quick to avoid missing the morning crowd: that’s usually where most of your sale’s come from.

With everything in you, you hope that he’s already awake because if he isn’t, you’d just have to move on without the reassurance, which is what you should do anyway, but you can’t bring yourself to let it go.

Thankfully, Yoongi is awake and by the looks of it, he’s out with the new recruits, running drills in the grass right in front of their camp. You see Jungkook out there as well, assisting one of the men with his form as he brandishes a sword.

The sight floods your mind with images of your dream once again, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut.

He’s ok though, so regardless of the images, you feel content seeing him in good health. Logically, you know you need to go about your day and allow him to go about his but, as you move to turn back towards the village- he notices you.

At first, a smile passes over his lips almost involuntarily but, his keen observation skills notice something is array. You see him gesture to his men to continue before he starts making his way in your direction.

Embarrassment washes over you without any warning and you try and wave him off, reassuring him that everything is ok, but he ignores it and jogs over anyway.

“Good morning-” He murmurs, his hands reaching out for yours. As he laces his fingers between your own, he tilts his head, “Are you ok?”

Instinctively, you nod but when you open your mouth to say something, nothing comes out.

Glancing up towards his face, your eyes pass over the area your mind brandished with blood and, without thinking, you throw your arms around him.

Yoongi is a little taken aback but he reciprocates nonetheless, his arms encircling you and pressing you against his chest. You feel a sigh of relief leave your lips as you cling to his robe, breathing in the subtle scent of him.

“I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

The whisper of your voice sends an aching into his chest and although you don’t disclose exactly what happened, Yoongi trusts that you had a valid reason for checking on his well-being.

With a soft smile, he presses a kiss to your temple, “I feel a little more than ok now...” He confirms before pulling back to look into your eyes, “May I do my own wellness check?”

There is a playfulness to his tone that softens the hard exterior of your residual panic and you bite your bottom lip when you nod.

His expression grows pensive as he holds your chin between his thumb and forefinger. He tilts your face from left to right, his own head following the motions whilst he narrows his eyes,

“Hm, nothing out of the ordinary here...” He grins, his blonde hair rustling slightly with the pace of the wind, eyes alight with fondness, “Still beautiful- still curious, still driving me insane because, I don’t know what’s going through her head...”

A small bit of laughter leaves your lips as you slide your hand up his forearm before settling gently on his wrist. With your fingertips, you press lightly against the bone beneath his skin, relishing in any tangible part of him you can touch, “I had a nightmare about you.”

He purses his lips together, rubbing his thumb over your cheek, “Did I turn into a tiger and try to eat you? My men have told me they had this dream quite a lot during training...”

Yoongi attempts to keep his tone playful but he looks slightly deflated now as he waits for your response.

With a small smile, you shake your head tightly. You take his hand away from your chin, lacing your fingers together, ensuring that the grip you have on him is tight.

“No. You were-”A sigh leaves your lips whilst you shake your head, “You were hurt.” You spare him the details, “I woke up and just started running over here to make sure you were ok...it’s a bit silly now that I’m thinking of it.”

Yoongi can’t help but smile at you, his heart flourishing with the promise new romance often makes. He is saddened that you were worried on his account but, he would be lying if he said that this wasn’t endearing.

Ok- so perhaps it was extremely endearing.

“And if I wasn’t ok?” He wraps his arms around you, “Would you have come to my rescue?”

The smirk on his lips makes him all the more handsome and the feeling of his hands on the small of your back, makes your mind fuzzier than you’d care to admit.

“I would have-” Your voice grows higher with determination which causes Yoongi to chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief, “Why are you laughing???? Do you doubt my ability to hold my own on the battlefield?”

Yoongi’s laughter is choppy and warm, it soothes every sore spot of anxiety in your head in almost medicinal way.

You wish you could hear the sound more.

“Absolutely not.” He shakes his head, still chuckling a bit, “In fact, I think you’d make a fine solider, ma'am. It’s just-” He glances down at your feet, “I don’t usually recommend wearing house slippers on the battlefield.”

The rolling of your eyes, brings Yoongi’s laughter back into the conversation.

“I would have managed just fine, thank you. You underestimate how powerful house slippers can be when brandished by the right person.”

He raises his brows, “Is that right? You wouldn’t need a sword then? Just your slippers?”

“Mhm.” You grumble with certainty, your fingers finding the ends of the hair hanging down from his pony tail, “My slippers and my wit are more powerful than any weapons you have here.”

Yoongi chuckles, the sound low and slow in the base of his throat, “Now that sounds a bit more realistic- that mouth of yours would certainly be enough to guarantee your victory.”

As he’s replying, you’re gently tracing your fingertips up the length of his spine, admiring the strength clearly present in the muscles of his back.

“Hm-” You muse, stealing a look directly into his eyes, “I do hope to show you what my mouth is capable of someday-” Fluttering your lids innocently, you try to stop the smirk from taking over your mouth but, when Yoongi’s grip tightens on you, it takes over anyway.

Drawing a deep breath through his nose, you see his Adam’s apple bob in the center of his throat as his jaw fills up with tension. An audible swallow comes from him as his gaze slowly shifts from playful to perturbed.

“I find it ironic that you’ve chosen to threaten my wellbeing…whilst in the middle of a wellness check …”

You hum with a sense of false innocence, “I haven’t the faintest idea of what you’re talking about.”

“You’re dangerous” He murmurs, and you don’t miss the lust that coats his voice, “and unarmed...” A chuckle leaves his lips then as he presses his hands further into your skin, “and in your house slippers. I think you might be the biggest threat I’ve ever encountered.”

This makes you giggle now, dropping the salacious tone from your voice but, as you lean up to press a kiss to his lips- a voice brings your motions to a halt.

“General Tiger! Are you going to join your men for training this morning or were you planning on teaching them the art of seduction?”

It’s Jin and he’s stood outside their tent with his arms crossed. It’s then that you notice the lack of movement in his camp. Most of the recruits were sort of standing around awkwardly, many of them sneaking a glance at the two of you.

They look rather shocked at Jin’s choice of words, expecting Yoongi’s wrath but instead he merely smirks and leans in so his lips are at your ear before whispering, “We’ll talk about this later...”

His slightly menacing tone sends excitement rushing into your chest as you reluctantly pull away from him.

You salute him, “Yes sir.”

Yoongi forces a breath out of his nostrils, shaking his head at you, “You’re going to kill me one day.” He mutters to himself as he practically saunters back to his camp.

Yoongi is still smirking as he returns amidst his group of men, which Jin promptly comments on.

“Even after a decade with you, you still surprise me.” He notes, his tongue running along the inside of his cheek.

“Third line, run those last two again! I need you sharper than that!” Yoongi calls out to his men, replacing his commanding expression with one full of nonchalance, “What are you referring to?”

Jin merely nods to the place the two of you had just been canoodling in, “I wasn’t sure that I’d ever see the day you took a partner- let alone the day that you’d publicly display affection for one. I wouldn’t necessarily think to question it but-”

Yoongi smirks, his eyes on the men in front of him but his focus clearly elsewhere, “And yet here you are...”

Jin rolls his eyes, “You can’t possibly blame me. I mean, you have a reputation that spans across the entirety of this land- does it concern you that they might mark you as vulnerable? From what I’ve gathered around the plaza, many of these villagers have already began to view you more casually.”

Yoongi’s smirk never fades as he calls out another command to the recruits, “If an enemy brands me as vulnerable- that is an error on their end, not on mine. In fact, I imagine it would bode quite well for me in the end. In regard to the villagers viewing me in a certain light- I can’t say I mind. Being feared was never something I asked for- you know this well. I would hope that more of the people I’ve served find me approachable.”

Jin doesn’t look convinced, knowing Yoongi far too well to believe that this was the end of his explanation, “There is more to it than that, isn’t there?”

“What do you mean?”

“You have other motives for being so open about her.”

Yoongi tilts his head in thought, still not bothering to look at him, “I just don’t think it hurts to send a message, to anyone who might be observing us.”

Jin scoffs at his vagueness, attempting eye contact, “What message might that be?”

Finally, Yoongi turns towards him, the ghost of his previous smirk on his mouth, “That she is both protected and accounted for.”

With that, Yoongi draws his sword and heads back amongst the large crowd of men who, having finished their drills, were now eagerly awaiting his instruction.

Jin finds himself smirking as well now, undeniably intrigued by his general’s newfound attitude.

Your day in the marketplace moves slowly but, you find yourself largely unphased. With a mind full of budding romance and unresolved passion, it’s difficult to focus on the mundanity of everyday life.

“So- “ Jane begins, with a curious gaze as the two of you begin packing up your wares for the day, “I’ve seen you over at the military camp quite a lot these past few weeks...”

Unable to resist, you roll your eyes at her observation whilst lining your bags with your belongings, “I’ve been making bread for the battalion.”

You’ve learned over the years of working with Jane that keeping your responses to a minimum is a good idea, particularly when she decides to fish for information.

She has an impressive habit of picking your words apart in search of anything potentially scandalous.

“Oh? So I suppose canoodling with their leader is just a part of your services then?”

With wide eyes, your head whips in her direction, “What do you mean?”

Jane chuckles, smoothing her hands over the many fly aways atop her head, “The man clearly moves as though a burden has been lifted from him and, given the way he looks at you every time he visits our plaza- I have no choice but to assume that you were the one to do so.”

Most of the time, you’d shy away from her attempts to gossip but, you’re in a bit of a mood after your earlier encounter with Yoongi so, you decide to give her something to work with. “I am a healer Jane, if I can lift the burden of stress from my patrons- I won’t shy away from the opportunity.”

It’s her turn to widen her eyes now as she chokes back the small gasp coming from her throat, “Are you- are you saying it’s true then? You’ve laid with the Tiger?”

In an almost child-like manner, you giggle to yourself, glancing over at her briefly, “Is it still considered lying with him if I were pressed up against a tree?”

Jane’s face shines like a summer tomato, fit to burst, as she hustles closer to you, “My girl!” She whispers, “What has gotten into you?”

Brushing off leftover debris from your cart, you turn towards her, “Well according to your theory-” You wager, “I suppose it was the Tiger,” You smirk, “Wasn’t it?”

Jane smacks your arm now, causing your laughter to increase in volume, “Y/N! I am shocked by you-” She begins before her features seem to morph back into her previous curiosity, “and slightly impressed...I thought I was the only whore around here.”

“Jane!” You swat her arm now, shaking your head at her and trying your best not to laugh, “Aren’t you married?”

She shrugs, a smirk now present on her lips, “I am but-” She eyes her husband, who is obliviously untangling his fishing line across the plaza, “Morris and I are well-acquainted...” She allows the word to drop from her mouth like maple syrup, “with other members of the village.”

Did she just-

“Whatever satisfies your heart and mind, Jane. I’m glad you and Morris are active community members...” You wave her off, giggling once again and desperately hoping she won’t divulge any further details, “I’ll see you tomorrow...stay out of trouble.”

“Don’t give me advice you know I won’t take Y/N...” She chuckles loudly before calling her husband, “Oh Morris! Don’t forgot we have plans with the minister and his wife this evening!”

Morris’s eyes widen, seeming to understand the hidden implication behind her words as he puts his index finger to his lips in an effort to silence her.

With that disturbing piece of information, you rush out of the plaza before you learn anything else that has the capability of scaring you for life.

Before heading to Rachel’s with her steamed buns, you decide to stop at the library to check out the new arrivals from the Queen’s province. Every month or so, they send new copies of the latest publishing from the capital and, given how coveted they are- you always try to make it to the library on the day of delivery.

You’re able to snag a title on growing herbs in the wintertime before spotting someone you’ve been quite eager to see: Rachel.

You find her perusing the history section, completely unaware of her presence even as you slink up beside her, “Oh hi there- fancy meeting you here; how was meeting your new student?”

Jumping slightly at the unexpected interruption, she pivots towards you before her eyes narrow with accusation, “Oh NO you don’t!” She chides, though her red cheeks suggest something else, “I cannot believe you used my love of teaching to stage a romantic COUP in my own schoolroom!” She rants, eyes wild with disbelief.

Ignoring her completely, you lean against the shelf- admiring the scent of the parchment before repeating your question, “Uh huh yeah-” You dismiss, “How did it go?”

“It went...” She clears her throat, mindlessly running her fingers over the spines resting on the shelves, “very well- it went very well.”

Looking at her expectantly, you raise your brows, “Can you define ‘well’ for the courts please?”

Rachel’s eyes seem to light up all over again as they drift into her story, “I never thought a man like that could be interested in such a quiet life like mine...we hardly know each other but, there is such kindness and passion in his eyes...it feels like I’ve known him for years.”

Seeing your best friend so enamored warms your heart; if anyone deserved happiness in this world, it would be her.

She goes on to tell you everything that happened between the two of them, recounting the nervous glances, flushed cheeks and a romantic confession from Bambi with the biceps himself.

At her conclusion, you’re unable to help the excited squeal that leaves your lips as you wrap your arms around her flushed frame, “I’m so happy for you!!!” Your scream comes out as an excited whisper, not wanting to feel the wrath of the librarian before you recall her earlier comment, “I think your quiet life and impeccable charm is what drew him in, in the first place...” You nudge her playfully, “You should have seen him talking about you- even I was swooning.”

She glows brighter, her figure emanating a bright carnation as she smoothly changes the subject; Rachel will only take the spotlight for so long, “Speaking of swooning, how is that ferocious general for yours, eh?”

Suddenly, you become very interested with a book on the shelf beside you, “Hm? What general? I don’t know a general Rachel, I’m just a silly little medicine woman.”

Her eyes widen as she smacks you playfully, “APOTHECARY!” She corrects and, the two of you giggle like schoolchildren as the librarian shoots daggers in your direction, “Don’t play coy with me- I spilled my guts about Jungkook. Fair is fair.”

Resigned, you let out a sigh and try to contain all of your emotions towards the subject, “Fiiiiine. The general simply explained that...” you look around to make sure no one is listening before lowering your voice, “that the reason we haven’t, hmmm what’s the word-” You pause once more, looking rather pensive, “defiled one another yet, is because he wants to wait until he has no more distractions. Which basically means we must wait until retirement, which of course also means- I am likely to go insane.”

Rachel snorts, slapping a hand over her mouth in an effort to conceal with laughter, “Wow he is serious about his intimacy.” She comments as she places a hand on your shoulder, “It’s been nice knowing you. I will tell the world your story.”

Slumping against her, you groan, feeling the full weight of your impatience, “If you’re wondering whether or not he still kisses me passionately beneath the moonlight despite the fact that he wants to wait- the answer is a resounding yes.” You explain, matter of factly, “it’s like he is wishing for the destruction of my sanity...”

Rachel links arms and giggles once again, “Look at us hm? Being pined for by heroes like in the poems that line these shelves...” She nods to them, “Who have thought?”

“I am slightly regretting all of my daydreams involving a knight in shining armor- who would have thought there would be so much yearning?”

She merely laughs again, shaking her head at you, “Have you two discussed his retirement?”

You nod, “His entire battalion is retiring this year. He said it should be around the wintertime, all of them have been in service for 10 years, including Jungkook.”

“That’s incredible: ten years of such a hard life. I couldn’t imagine. Do you know what they will do?”

“That means Jungkook joined the queen’s army before he was of age,” You observe, furrowing your brow, “I imagine they will retire with their chosen partners. Yoongi said that, that was his plan at least-” Your voice turns slightly coy at the end, “I don’t imagine they will have to work for the rest of their lives. My parents always talk about how well taken care of decorated soldiers are.”

Rachel’s face falls, “I’m just imagining Jungkook choosing this life at such a young age...the things those men have seen and, the rough life they have in service to the two queens...” She shakes her head, “I hope they all find peace and happiness, no matter what they choose.”

You nod, resting your head on her shoulder, “I think they have made their choices already- it all depends on if their partners reciprocate their advances.”

Rachel nudges you when she hears your teasing tone, “Quiet down you, we’re in the library...”

After much more giggling and, gushing over the men that have stolen your hearts, the two of you part ways.

Rachel has an evening to prepare for after all...

She rushes home after her time at the library. The books she gathered for her lesson on Monday are carefully placed on her bookshelf and, the ingredients for tonight’s meal are sprawled out on her countertop.

As she begins the long process of preparing for her night with Jungkook, she allows her mind to wander to a place she seldom visits: the past.

Like most people, she finds indulging in this subject to be quite the slippery slope. Today, she finds herself remembering a time where finding love seemed like nothing more than an elaborate fantasy. Rachel is a brilliant woman yes, but she has mistakenly branded herself as invisible for most of her life.

Now, she is faced with the reality that not only does someone see her but, they are enamored with her.

It’s slightly terrifying.

Another quiet breath is pulled through her nose then as she smooths her hands over her dress once more.

Glancing back towards the home she’s shared with herself over the years, a small smile comes over her face as she realizes that she might need to get used to the idea of sharing.

But then again, it will be nice to have someone around during the winter...

Especially when that someone has biceps like Jungkook.

Rachel waves at a group of students who scream her name excitedly from across the street whilst desperately hoping that they don’t try to follow her to her destination.

With another deep breath, she begins heading out of the market plaza and into the deep emerald of the clearing just before the camp. Normally around this time, she would be heading there with Y/N to deliver bread but, tonight she takes a sharp left into forest.

She had given Jungkook instructions on how to get there and he had then insisted on getting there before her to set things up. Rachel realized at that moment that her ability to refuse him was at a minimum, especially when he flashed those beautiful eyes her way.

Curse him and his ethereal beauty.

Narrowing her eyes slightly, she navigates through the maze of trees as the sound of running water slowly makes its way into her ears. A smile comes across her lips then, as she realizes she’s getting close.

The sun is beginning to take the minimal warmth of the day with it as it begins its descent towards the horizon and, she feels slightly regretful that she chose to meet with him around sunset.

Sometimes you have to sacrifice body heat for the ambience.

As she nears one of the many pools that come off of the main river, she finally sees Jungkook waiting for her. Slowly but surely, she can make out his appearance for the evening and as she does, her heart swoons.

He’s standing somewhat awkwardly at the edge of a large tan woolen blanket, dressed in a red tunic and red cloth pants, with his onyx locks freshly washed and curling in various directions atop his head. She sees him swallow at the sight of her, the tiniest of smiles etching onto his lips.

“Good evening.” He bows slightly, gesturing to her, “You look- um, you look very nice.”

She returns his smile, fingers clutching the basket of food a bit tighter, “Good evening. I could say the same to you, red looks really great on you.”

His stance seems to light up at her compliment, the tiny smile growing, “That’s what my hyungs said, I wasn’t sure if it was too much but, if you like it then-” He nods, cringing at how nervous he feels, “-then that’s good.”

Rachel bites her lip, noticing his nerves immediately, “I love it,” She assures him before raising the basket up, “I brought dumplings. I wasn’t sure what kind you liked so I brought a few different ones.”

At the mention of food, the tension within his figure seems to dissipate.

“I can’t wait to try them,” He grins now as he gestures to the blanket, “You can sit wherever you’d like, I can take those from you-” He shakes his head then, regretting his choice of words, “No wait... here-” He is gentle as he takes the basket from her before turning around to set it carefully on the blanket. He then reaches out with his palm extended, “I’ll help you down...”

Her heart bursts.

It seems she isn't the only one flooded with nervous excitement.

“Thank you-” She insures to heighten the gratitude within her tone, wanting to soothe his anxiety in any way she can, despite feeling so much of her own.

He plops next to her in a less graceful manner then he would have hoped as he looks regretfully toward his canteen, “We don’t have an extra canteen in the camp. They were all given away to the new recruits. I would have brought you your own but, I washed mine for you and filled it up. I can drink from the river over there.”

“Oh goodness no, you don’t have to do that-” She shakes your head, pulling out her canteen from the basket, “I figured you would have had your own; I should have brought you one just in case though-”

“No really, it’s ok! I can just use mine.” Once again, he cringes, “I guess it’s a bit strange that I would have thought you’d want to drink from mine...I don’t know what I was thinking.”

At the rather innocent pout on his lips, he looks up at her- feeling slightly hopeless.

A bit of silence lingers in the air for a moment before Rachel giggles and at the sound, Jungkook’s lips twitch.

“It’s not a good sign that you’re already laughing-” He laments, the smiling that was threatening his mouth fully taking over, “Even though I quite like hearing it...”

Rachel places a cautious hand over Jungkook’s knuckles, relishing in the warmth of his skin, “I promise you it is-“ She disagrees, “It’s important that I’m around people I can laugh with- even if its at our own expense sometimes…”

The corner of Jungkook’s mouth turns up in a half smile, “That might work out in my favor then- my hyungs say I appear one way but, behave another…I guess that’s why I feel so nervous now…”

He looks up at her quite innocently through his long eyelashes as Rachel furrows her brow, “What do you mean?”

Jungkook’s fingers are now aimlessly toying with the bit of loose thread and, with her heightened sense of empathy, Rachel can sense that he is burdened in some way.

“I am slightly afraid that you will be disappointed when you get to know me…” He admits.

This shocks Rachel as she cannot imagine how someone as beautiful as Jungkook could lack confidence in any capacity. But still, she feels the urge to understand him.

“Well, I don’t want to discount your worries Mr. Jeon but, “ She tilts her head slightly, a hint of sternness in her gaze, “I sincerely doubt your ability to disappoint me.”

Jungkook’s cheeks begin to burn all over again; there is something about the way her lips look curving around the words ‘Mr. Jeon’ that he stores away for a later time.

“Aren’t I already different than what you expected?” He chuckles, and the sound is boyish and full of airiness but, it still holds a bit of tension.

He was right.

He was much different than she had anticipated but that isn’t saying much, considering the fact that her first impression of him came after he took down a group of raiders.

“Different doesn’t always mean disappointment…” She assures him candidly, “In fact, I am quite relieved that you aren’t what I expected.”

He is intrigued, “Most of the people I meet are afraid of me but, I can’t say I blame them; My hyungs and I come with a reputation. Were you afraid of us when we came here?”

Jungkook wants to know what she thinks, even if he might be uncomfortable with her answer.

Rachel eyes the dumplings collecting the cool air around them and, doesn’t even notice the fact that they have yet to start eating. Both of them are too overcome with anticipation to pay attention to much else aside from each other.

It felt instinctual to begin things this way.

“Yes.” She replies honestly, catching the way his face falls and regretting it instantly, “But that wasn’t your doing. I have come to understand that you and the rest of your battalion are merely victims of village gossip. Besides, the fear I felt quickly disappeared once I saw you.”

Jungkook’s face lightens once again as he extends his hand towards hers. Rachel feels a shiver rush eagerly up her spine as he slips his fingers between her own, “You aren’t afraid of me now?”

Anyone else may have found it odd that Jungkook needed this type of reassurance so early in the evening but, he simply couldn’t relax until he knew that he wasn’t perceived as a threat. He is so used to putting on a tough persona and, even more used to people fearing him. He has grown quite tired of always needing to disarm himself.

Tightening her grip on his hand, she allows a playful smirk to etch across her lips, “I wouldn’t have agreed to meet with you in the middle of the forest if I was afraid of you. That would be quite foolish don’t you think?”

Jungkook’s teeth are brilliant as he grins, a breathless bit of laughter leaving his mouth, “Not unless you were some sort of thrill seeker…”

Sensing the bit of suggestion in his voice, she takes her chance and utters, “Those aren’t exactly the type of thrills I’m seeking…”

Jungkook feels his mouth dry up at her words but, before he has time to process any of it, she raises the basket once more, “These are getting cold.”

And ever the gentleman, he doesn’t comment on it but just as he did with the image of her lips, he stores her comment away.

For later.

The two of them begin eating and, Rachel watches on fondly as he shoves more than half of the dumplings in his mouth. She can tell he is doing his best to appear civilized but, Y/N did mention that they don’t eat proper meals very often so, his manners weren’t exactly in tip-top shape.

Rachel didn’t mind. In fact, she took great pleasure in watching him stuff himself. His cheeks puffed up adorably to accommodate the volume of dough he was shoving in them but, despite him wanting to eat the entire batch, he kept insisting on feeding her bites of food every 30 seconds or so.

During dinner, they talked about all sorts of things:

Rachel’s childhood, her work as an educator, her favorite seasons…

Jungkook wanted to learn it all.

He was fascinated by her entire existence.

However, after a certain amount of time, Rachel begins to notice how he continuously shifts the conversation back towards her. He doesn’t look uncomfortable when she asks him questions but, he keeps answering them as quickly as possible.

Finally, Rachel decides this theme has gone on long enough before she finally asks the one question that’s been on her mind all night.

“What led to you joining Yoongi’s battalion so early?”

Jungkook swallows the instant lump in his throat, “Uh well…it wasn’t hyung’s battalion yet when I first joined. We both went in together. He took over when he was about…” He thinks for second, “20 I think? So I would have been about 17. But we were both running in missions long before that.”

Rachel almost comments on the fact that he didn’t answer her question but, he beats her to it and, continues.

“Yoongi-hyung and I are brothers but, not by blood.” He begins, “His family took me in when I was 7.”

She can sense that he is about to tell her something quite serious so, she hesitates to ask any further questions; he would clarify if he was comfortable enough to do so.

“Hyung and I are from the same village. Our families had been neighbors for three generations until-“ He averts his eyes, preparing to tell the story that started it all, “we were attacked. Our village was destroyed by a raider clan. The first incident wasn’t so bad but, they came back and-“ Jungkook swallows the emotions that have balled up in his throat, “they decided that they weren’t after our valuables any longer; they were after blood.”

Rachel’s whole body is tense with the weight of his story, her mouth seemingly frozen in its slightly parted position as she tightens her grip on his hand.

“I still can’t comprehend it.” He breathes, shaking his head, “It wasn’t even like they were trying to recruit us or take us as laborers; they just wanted to create chaos.”

She can see the way his eyes are growing glossy and the way his breath seems to shorten and with her whole being, she expects to wipe his tears but, they never come.

“Our families tried to flee the village together but-“ He clears his throat, “my parents and I were shot by the enemy’s arrows. I remember seeing them go down in front of me and, then there was this horrible pain in my side. I tried to stay with them but, Yoongi-hyung wouldn’t let me. He just threw me over his shoulder and ran. I still don’t know how he did it; he must have ran with me for hours before we made it to the next secure village.”

Still captivated by his story, Rachel runs his thumb over the backs of his knuckles to ensure that he knows she’s right there with him.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispers and, he offers a sad smile in return, squeezing her hand.

“Hyung told me many years later that the shots my parents received were fatal. There was no chance of rescue. But, for so long I believed I had abandoned them there. From then on, the only family I knew was Yoongi-hyung and, the parents he decided to share with me; He shared everything with me actually: his food, his clothes, his bed, his patience,” Jungkook chuckles breathlessly, “When the military council came for him, I panicked; we had been inseparable for so long. I couldn’t stand to see my hyung going off to war alone so,” At last the heavy emotions begin to lift from his face as a slight smirk comes over his lips, “I may have snuck out in the middle of the night and, followed him out…”

Rachel’s eyes widen, “You could have been killed!” She smacks his arm playfully which causes him to break out in a fit of laughter, “How on Earth did you manage that??? I’ve always heard they were so meticulous!”

Jungkook shrugs, somewhat smugly, “I fit in quite well. I was already taller than hyung at this age and, he and I had been training together since we were young.”

“What did he say when realized you had come along??? I’m surprised he didn’t send you home himself.”

He is chuckling again, his eyes lighting up fondly at the memory, “Oh he nearly killed me himself actually…he found me hiding out in a barn on the military camp and, it was truly the only time I’ve ever seen him that afraid. But once he was done lecturing me, we both decided it was safer for me to stay. Hyung was worried that I’d be punished if he turned me in to his general so, I passed as a volunteer. The rest is history…”

Rachel grins, overcome with fondness, “History indeed, especially the part when you became the youngest recruit to ever join the royal army.”

The faintest blush crosses his cheeks, “Well technically, the records will never reflect that, most people in our land believe hyung and I are the same age. I personally find this hard to understand as he clearly has so many more wrinkles than I do but-“ He shrugs again, “I suppose it works out.”

She smirks, “I suppose it does. I don’t know where the royal army would be without it’s Terror Cub…”

Jungkook groans, his face turned up in disgust, “I will haunt the historian who writes that name down in the books. Could they not have come up with something more menacing? Terror Cub? It sounds like a character in a children’s book…”

He is pouting profusely now and, Rachel decides that his adorable expression is far deadlier than any weapon he could wield.

She was simply powerless against it.

“I promise not to go blathering to any of our historians about it. If anyone asks, I will tell them you were the fiercest solider in all of the land.”

Jungkook’s heart swells with pride as he subconsciously puffs out his chest, “While you’re there please tell them of our involvement as well. I hope to be remembered for the pursuits of my heart rather than just my skills on the battlefield…”

Rachel’s lips twitch, “What exactly shall I tell them?”

His demeanor shifts slightly and, it's as if the sparkle in his eyes turns to lightening, “I think you should tell them that-” The distance between their lips seems to lessen almost subconsciously as Jungkook licks over his bottom lip, “our connection was medicinal, that it was almost as if we had been holding our breath until we finally found one another.”

Despite Jungkook’s words raising every hair upon Rachel’s skin, he seems to grow immediately nervous by his candid statement.

“That’s really excessive isn’t it? My hyungs always tell me that I should think before I-“

But he isn’t able to finish his sentence…

Rachel has closed the distance between them and, is pressing her lips against his own. Jungkook’s body stalls at the feeling and, he assumes the whole world stalls along with him.

For in this moment, there is nothing else but her lips.

Jungkook’s hands are unstable as they reach her cheeks and, he grimaces because he knows his palms are damp with the evidence of his nerves.

But Rachel doesn’t notice.

She can only sigh hopelessly into his mouth as the two of them deepen their kiss.

============================

The river welcomes you with open arms this evening. The chill of the oncoming fall season is no match for the thick woolen coat your mother made for you last year. Tonight, you are overcome with peace as you stroll along the embankment. You’ve always felt so much happiness around the river but ever since meeting Yoongi, the meaning of this piece of land has shifted and intensified.

He is unlike anyone you’ve ever known. He’s wise and controlled but, he carries a type of wildness that is uniquely his own. The great and powerful Tiger: he is so much more than just a rumor. Even though you claimed to make your own judgements about things, you still expected Yoongi to be some sort of brut; an egotistic warrior at best or a bloody thirsty monster at worst.

But you had been wrong.

Yoongi was a man of great skill yes, quick like lightening and deadly like his feline persona but, his heart contained so much depth and so much warmth, that you found yourself drowning in it. The two of you hadn’t known each other long but, the emotions are already so strong. Your future with him is all you find yourself daydreaming about and, you can only hope that he is able to keep all of the promises he made to you.

The anxiety surrounding his departure strikes again, right in the middle of your heart.

You have half a mind to join his ranks or even stowaway amongst the new recruits…

Surely he wouldn’t notice if you wore a disguise, right?

The twigs snapping on the forest floor behind you remove you from your ridiculous plan as a smile immediately graces your face.

“You’re late.” You call, not bothering to turn around, “Did the recruits keep you tied up again?”

There is a bit of silence before a voice answers your question.

“I didn’t realize you were expecting me- although it doesn’t surprise me that Yoongi’s plaything would have a heightened sense of awareness…” The voice is unfamiliar and, it causes your blood to run cold, “…given that she’s canoodling with a monster.”

It all happens so quickly.

Just as you’re about to turn towards the voice, a burly arm is wrapping around your neck. Gasping for air, your hands immediately fly up to claw at your attacker’s forearm.

Panic is rushing through you, your feet kicking around as he attempts to drag you backwards into the trees.

“You really shouldn’t be out in the dark by yourself, pretty.” He snarls into your ear, his breath reeking of alcohol, “There are a lot of maniacs out here…”

You can feel yourself losing consciousness as he tightens his grip on your neck. Your fingernails are desperately digging into his skin, trying to cause him any discomfort that you can.

“I want to see the look on his face-“ Your assailant cackles, “I want to see his reaction to your cold body laying in the place where you first kissed…He thinks he’s strong but-“

You hear him gasp for breath as an unknown force seemingly knocks it out of him. When he releases his grip on your neck, you frantically suck in the air around you, wincing as you fall to your knees.

In your attempt to distance yourself you scramble up against the nearest tree and, just as you’re about to scream for help, you realize that you’re not alone.

A golden dagger sticks out of your attacker’s shoulder as he attempts to get away from the one who threw it: Yoongi.

“Stay right there.” He calls to you gently, his eyes devoid of any emotion.

You are still reeling from nearly being choked to death but, you listen to his command, nonetheless. The man on the floor is dressed in the colors of the royal army and, you gather that he belongs to Yoongi’s battalion- or at least he pretended to.

Yoongi catches him by the hair as he drags him up to his knees. The man is spluttering from the pain, his brows drawn in tightly as he struggles against Yoongi’s grip.

“Do you remember the lesson from this morning, rat?” He ventures, his voice casual and icy cold.

“Y-yes sir…”

Yoongi rips his hair back again so the tip of his nose is facing the sky, “What was it?”

“Ah!” He groans, his hands balling up at his sides, “N-necessities, sir.”

“Necessities- very good.” Yoongi would sound like he was praising him if it weren’t for the heartless smirk painted across his lips. “Now, would you say your head was a necessity?”

As Yoongi asks his question, he unsheathes his sword with his free hand and presses the blade to the man’s throat.

“Yes!” The man practically yelps, his body freezing beneath Yoongi’s grip, “Yes, sir! Very necessary, sir!”

You can’t help but watch in complete shock. There is a part of you that knows Yoongi would never kill someone in front of you but, the way the light has drained from his eyes is forcing you to doubt yourself.

“Oh is it now? What about your throat?”

Yoongi’s expression barely shifts but, you can literally feel the fury emanating off of his figure as he presses the blade further into his skin. Ruby red blood barely peeks out of the man’s skin as he whimpers.

“Yes-“ He chokes out, “It’s necessary! Please! They told me to kill her, I’m just the middleman! If you spare me, I promise I will tell you everything just-“

Yoongi stalls his movements, his eyes flashing towards you for a moment before yanking his head back again, “Who is they?”

Through another pained groan, the man spits out his answer, “The Meddleways sir.”

Although unfamiliar to you, the name seems to affect Yoongi greatly. However, he quickly composes himself and pulls the man upwards by his hair, “Stand up.”

Wincing, the man rushes to his feet, his hands lingering out in front of him with uncertainty.

With his lips curled beneath his fury, Yoongi offers one last eerily calm sentiment in the man's ear, “You are very lucky that I am in the presence of a lady. Had I come across you on my own-” He stops himself, taking a deep breath in through his nose. He shuts his eyes for a moment, collecting the storm inside of him before continuing, “I will put you with your leader after my men are done questioning you. From there, you will make the journey to your trial and, whilst you are on your way- please be sure to thank whatever god you believe in that I am not the one tasked with your punishment.”

Yoongi’s voice is nearly unrecognizable. It’s like a glacier, cold and enormous but, slow moving. It seems to inch into the man’s subconscious as he cowers beneath him.

“Do you understand?” Yoongi confirms to which the man nods immediately, “Good.”

With that final word, he rips the dagger out of the man's shoulder. His yelp is cut short by the handle of said dagger as Yoongi whacks it against the side of his head. The man falls to the ground unceremoniously, his body going limp for the time being.

The events that have transpired, leave you frozen against the bark of your favorite willow tree. Yoongi seems to know something you don’t and, you can’t fight your instinct to ask questions.

“Do you know him?”

Your voice seems to pull Yoongi away from his urges and back to reality. In an instant, he is rushing over to you, his cold gaze defrosting slightly as he assesses your wellbeing.

“Did he touch you?” He mutters, his fingers on the end of your chin, tilting your head to the side.

“Well, he was choking me but-”

Yoongi glowers, his nostrils flaring slightly, “Did he touch you?”

The way he emphasizes the word ‘touch’ gives you the hint that Yoongi is referring to whether or not he violated you.

“No...” You whisper, allowing your fingers to brush against his cheek, “He was only on me for a moment before you found us.”

Yoongi deflates under your touch but, to say that he relaxed would be an overstatement. In fact, it's safe to say that he has never been more tense in his entire life.

“Are you hurt?” His voice breaks at the end as he swallows back his emotions. Before you’re able to answer, Yoongi’s eyes light up with quiet rage all over again, “Your neck- it's going to bruise-”

“Hey-” You coax his gaze up to yours, “I’m safe. You saved me and, I’m safe.”

Your words unfortunately do nothing for him but, he doesn’t want to center this interaction around his fear. Instead, he simply nods and places a tense kiss to the center of your forehead before nodding to the limp figure behind him.

“I need to take him back to the compound, Namjoon and Jimin will get out any information he has. In the meantime, I need you to stay away from here. In fact, don’t go anywhere alone after sunset- not until I can assess the-”

“Let me come with you. I want to know what’s going on-”

Yoongi shakes his head, “No. It’s too dangerous to have you on the compound right now. My entire battalion may be compromised.”

“But Yoongi-”

His eyes grow cold again, “This is not a discussion. A civilian has no place in these matters.”

With his words, he drops his grip on you but just before he steps back, you are shooting a glare his direction.

“Civilian? Is that what you call me now, Min Yoongi?”

Using his full name would be considered disrespectful if the two of you didn’t know each other the way you do but, it still feels foreign coming out of your mouth.

Yoongi technically has authority over you and your entire village. If he wanted to, he could order you to do anything he wishes. Yoongi never exercises his power this way but, he is so overcome with fear that he wants to do anything to protect you. “You know that isn’t what I was implying. Don’t twist my words.”

“Then please feel free to untwist them for me. That term comes with a loaded meaning, and you know it...”

The tension clings in the air between you like moss to a tree. It’s uncomfortable and more importantly, unfamiliar. Yoongi stares you down, his hardened gaze wavering as the seconds pass. His eyes trace each feature of your face with desperation, seeking to memorize your current expression and, not because he is particularly fond of it but, merely because it belongs to you.

Yoongi’s future is not guaranteed and, therefore- neither is his life with you.

So he must memorize it all.

“I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way.” He concedes, his features softening, “I just need some time to sort through my men. I won’t deny your request for information but, I have to gather it first. I am asking you to stay away until then and, its only because I fear for your safety- not because I don’t regard you as my equal.”

His words gnaw at your guard until it disappears and, suddenly you wish to be in his arms. You know both of your reactions came from a place of fear as its woefully unlike the two of you to misunderstand one another.

“I’m scared.” You whisper, “I don’t want to leave your side.”

Yoongi’s heart breaks at the worry written on your beautiful face and, he loathes the unconscious man beside him even more for making you feel this way.

“Come here,” He reaches a hand out towards you and, as soon as you take it, he is pulling you against him. He places a kiss atop your head, allowing his lips to linger for a moment. When he feels your fingers curl into fists around the fabric of his tunic, his eyes squeeze shut.

He is terrified.

“I won’t let anything happen to you ever again, do you understand?” He murmurs, his voice unstable, “I will protect you with my life and, gladly lay it down for your own.”

All you do is nod, burying your face into the crook of his neck, “But you’re going to leave me...”

And for this Yoongi has no response.

Because he will protect you yes, but he will never lie to you.

He is going to leave you and, it will be much sooner than he had planned; there is no use in training the recruits now- as far as he is concerned, they have all gone bad.

“Only my body will leave you.” He answers with another kiss to your head, “The rest of me is bound to you forever.”

----------------------------------------------------

It’s been nearly a day since you’ve seen Yoongi.

After he tied your attacker to a tree, he walked you back home and, fetched the rest of the men for reinforcements.

You have yet to see the man since Yoongi disarmed him but, more importantly, you hadn’t seen any of the battalion.

It was as if they had disappeared overnight.

The only indication of their presence was their horses roaming around the compound. The rest of the men were seemingly confined to their tents, a tactic likely used by the leaders to ensure they kept track of everyone whilst they interrogated the wayward recruit.

But still, it was unnerving.

It gave you another glimpse at what your world would look like very soon. Your life had changed so drastically since Yoongi’s arrival and, you simply weren’t ready to move throughout your day without the promise of meeting him by the river.

But you had to be ready.

You had to be ready a lot sooner than you anticipated.

The day had moved like slugs along the riverbank after the summer heat has dried up parts of its shoreline. Despite the nerves brewing within you and the ache of anticipation all over your body, the clocktower stared back at you defiantly, refusing to move.

Yoongi promised you he would come to your house as soon as he had the information he needed but, you weren’t planning on waiting for him any longer.

It had been nearly twenty-four hours since you were attacked and, without answers, you slowly felt yourself going insane with impatience. Once your wares were packed up and taken home, you strode with determination to the makeshift compound.

Still appearing to be deserted, you don’t have any clues as to which tent to start with first. You opt for the one that the seven men usually stay in and as you approach it, you desperately wish you were here delivering bread.

The illusion of simplicity had been shattered. You were being courted by the leader of the Royal Army and because of this, nothing was never simple to begin with.

You felt foolish for believing otherwise.

Before you’re able to ring the bell outside of the tent, you are met with Yoongi rushing from the opening, still dressed in the same clothes he wore the night prior. Dark rings of exhaustion are positioned around the sockets of his eyes and, his lips look as though they haven’t had a sip of water all day.

He is beautiful but, he looks like hell.

“I had a feeling I wouldn’t need to come looking over you-” He smiles but, it doesn’t reach his eyes. Instead, he offers his arm and jerks his chin towards the trees, “Walk with me?”

This can’t be good.

You nod, interlocking your arm with his and, taking a moment to relish the warmth that still ebbs and flows from him. Even with the gnawing monster of the unknown staring daggers at you in the distance, you feel safe with him.

“Did he keep his promise?” You ask him as the two of you step into the forest. The light shining through the trees is painted the same color as the sunset on the mountains and, if this were a normal meeting between the two of you, you would have admired it. However, the only thing you can focus on is what Yoongi has yet to tell you.

“He did,” He nods.

The promise, of course, refers to the attacker vowing to tell Yoongi anything he wanted to know if he decided to spare his life.

“And?” You cock your head, trying to catch his gaze that seems to be fixated upon the dirt beneath your feet.

If only you knew that he was actually staring at the way your dress billows in the wind, the way the shadows from the leaves bounce off the soft skin of your ankles...

He must memorize it all.

“I have to leave...” He finally says, looking up at you, “...tonight.”

The news is reasonable but, it feels like a cruel joke. You have half a mind to deny him, to lash out and, scold him for toying with you in such a way.

But Yoongi would never lie to you.

Ever.

“Tonight.” You whisper, swallowing the bitter flavor of the word. And almost involuntarily, your hands are curling gently around his forearms in protest, “Why tonight?”

Yoongi can quite literally taste the pain in your voice and, it sickens him; it sickens him because, there is nothing he can do about it.

He leaves his arms in place for you to touch however you want, thoroughly shocked that the desire still manages to coil in his stomach even in the face of such sadness.

“The man who gave me this scar on my face was the leader of a cruel wayward group known as the Meddleways. Years ago, after Namjoon successfully lead them to our army, the leader and I fought to the death. Xansa, was his name. It was the closest I had ever come to losing my life.” Yoongi almost smiles as he feels your grip on him tighten but, he opts for gently caressing beneath your elbows instead, “This group, they had plans to attack the Queen’s capital and assassinate the people who lived there. After the death of their leader however, many of them came to our side- claiming that they were held against their will. There were a small number who escaped and, I foolishly assumed they would dissolve.”

You look up at the scar he speaks of, gazing at the angry strip of marred flesh running down the center of his right eye. In complete silence, you reach up and trace your index finger along the shape of it, letting out a shaky sigh at the thought of someone causing him pain.

“They haven’t.” You conclude whilst Yoongi closes his eyes beneath your touch, “Have they?”

He simply shakes his head as his hands secure themselves round your waist. His eyes stay shut even when you move your hand from his scar to cup his cheek. The skin there is splotchy from the evening breeze and, surprisingly soft. You almost think to question it but, Yoongi is already answering your silent observation.

“Your salve.” He chuckles as his beautiful eyes finally open, “It would be swept up by the people of the capital in no time; it’s a miracle in a tin.”

Allowing just a moment of reprieve, your mind drifts to the not-so-distant future, “Shall I make a career there then? I imagine if you’re retiring, I will be the one providing for us.”

A bit of ego flashes through Yoongi’s eyes, his fingers curling into the fabric of your dress, “My villa is nowhere near the capital. And as for providing for us, I am pleased to inform you that I have enough gold from my military service to last us several lifetimes.”

Good, you think, one lifetime together wouldn’t be enough anyhow.

“Am I to be a housewife then?” You arch your brow, throwing an unimpressed but playful glance his way.

Yoongi smirks, “You are to be whatever you wish. It’s just worth noting that I have the means to take care of us both. Although, I will admit that whilst my retirement will hardly be noticed as there is already someone taking my place, if you chose to retire now that- that would have some dire consequences.”

His compliment, however silly, makes you giggle as you roll your eyes, “Your logic is insanely flawed my dear general however, I will accept your flattery nonetheless.”

Your laughter soothes the rawness in Yoongi’s heart, even if it’s just for a moment. He follows suit, unable to help the small bout of laughter that leaves his lips. But before long, you two seem to settle back into the solemnity of the moment and, you’re asking:

“There after you...aren’t they?”

Yoongi is nodding, his brows drawn tightly together whilst he murmurs, “They are coming for me now. My battalion and I must reconvene and cut them off before they attack here. Xansa is dead but, according to the man who attacked you, there is a new leader, Xansa’s brother. Their objective remains the same: they wish to destroy the peace the Queen’s have built and, exploit the land and it’s people for power.”

To know that not only is Yoongi tasked with defending the lands from violence, but also that he is being targeted specifically, frightens you beyond belief.

“Why can’t you stay hidden? My family will hide you; you could blend in here until they are defeated, I know it isn’t ideal but-” You sound panicked now and, it breaks Yoongi’s heart that he must deny you any reprieve.

“Darling,” He cups your face, his own bottomless gaze searching yours, “There is only one place in the world where I can truly hide. And someday,” A calloused thumb brushes over the apple of your cheek, “I will take you there and, we will live out the rest of our lives. But as of now, anywhere I go- weak minded men will follow, desperate to prove their idea of strength. My head is a trophy to all men who are poisoned by their masculinity.”

“Your head is not a trophy,” You protest but your voice barely reaches above a whisper, weakened by your own despair. For the last time it seems, you brush your fingers against his skin- electrocuted by the sensation, “and you are so much more than the rumors that follow you. So much more...”

Yoongi has to summon all the strength within him to keep his emotions at bay, not wanting to break down in front of you. Instead, he silently brings your lips to his and, presses the softest kiss to your mouth.

He pours everything he wish he had time to say into it, his breathing picking up slightly as you return the passion with everything you have.

The two of you know you have to break it off, especially as you hear the compound finally come to life beside you; they were preparing to leave.

With foreheads pressed together, you are the first one who speaks with bated breath, “Promise you’ll come back to me...”

His hands are on either side of your face now as he centers your focus on his eyes. You had yet to see such silent determination within them since you met and for the moment, it convinces you that his word is golden.

“I will crawl back to you if I have to.”

When you part, you gather that most of Yoongi’s men have already left. It appears that only the main unit and, a group of thirty or so remain in the compound.

“Hyung!” Hoseok calls from the front of the tent, his normally bright expression full of contempt, “It’s time.”

You detest how well their readiness to leave coincides with the end of your conversation but, it almost feels easier this way. Being unable to anticipate the exact point of Yoongi’s departure has allowed you to be suspended in ignorant bliss.

The pain isn’t as drawn out.

Yoongi returns his statement with a tight nod before, turning his attention back to you for the last time.

With all the power in him, he musters up a type of promise one can only convey with their eyes and says, “I’ll meet you back at the river...” He swallows around all of the words he wishes to utter but, with a delicate brush to your cheek, he leaves you with only two, “...my love.”

And suddenly, the world between you is massive once again.

Suddenly, he is a thousand miles from you even though he only moves a few yards away.

You feel frozen in place almost, your cheek burning with the remains of his touch as you try to catch the breath his words stole from you.

Is this really it?

The last guaranteed moments of your incredible connection with a man you could only dream about- is this truly how they end?

You’re standing there longer than you realize because, the next thing you know, you hear the whinny of the last horses and, the sharp commands of Jin’s voice.

Spinning around, you aren’t thinking clearly as you sprint towards the group of men beginning to ride away into the forest.

“General Min!”

You are surprised at how well your voice carries over the noise and, out of the group pops Yoongi riding on the back of a black stallion.

With his gold sword attached to his hip and, his capable hands controlling the reigns, Yoongi brings the movements of his horse to a stop.

“Don’t be late.” You call to him, fresh tears spilling silently from your eyes. But despite the tears, you are smiling- offering some semblance of hope to the two of you.

He chuckles, bowing his head towards you, eyes outlined in red, “Yes ma’am.”

Then he is gone.

And with him goes all of your steam for the time being.

It’s as though the energy has been pulled away from you, leaving you sullen and exhausted regardless of how much rest you’re able to get.

The weeks without Yoongi begin with nightmares. The one you had just before he left seems to haunt your subconscious day in and day out. It’s as if your brain were torturing you with worst case scenarios, preparing you for a world without him.

Without Yoongi.

The night the battalion left, you rushed over to Rachels and, upon her opening her door, you simply collapsed into her arms.

With your head on her shoulder, the two of you cried together. You hated the fact that she understood the pain you were in but, you were happy to have someone relate to.

She understood.

To live such an ordinary life one day, only to fall for a mysterious stranger the next…

And then to have that stranger seem so familiar, to connect so deeply with someone you haven’t known for very long and, then having to say goodbye…

It was a very specific type of pain and, your best friend knew exactly what the sting felt like.

Nearly a month of this passes before you receive something that has your monotone soul seeing color once again: a letter from Yoongi.

A young man, who identifies himself as a royal messenger, shows up at your door with a tightly wrapped piece of parchment that contains enough hope to keep you going for the foreseeable future. This young messenger explains that he was commissioned by the “the Royal General” to deliver two letters to this village every month until his return.

Two letters meaning, one to you and of course, one to the beloved schoolteacher next door.

The thought of Rachel getting to hear from Jungkook makes your heart sing.

Trying to contain the tears in your eyes, you thank the messenger profusely before practically tripping over your own feet as you rush back to your bedroom. You waste no time in removing the protective fabric from the letter, your shaky hands nearly ripping the corner of the parchment.

Y/N,

I know we didn’t discuss writing to one another but, I couldn’t handle not contacting you in some way. Thankfully, I’m privileged enough to have access to the royal messengers and, they have promised me they would deliver my letters until I return. Are you staying healthy? I know how cold it must be getting where you live. Please reassure me that you’re staying warm so, I can stop obsessing over it.

Our men have been successful so far. We’ve encountered many obstacles but, we have the strategies to hold our own. Most of my days have been spent working on a pathway out of this mess but, we have been unable to find the new leaders of the Meddleways. The Queens are aware and have sent reinforcements but, we still have a long way to go.

Not to worry, I still plan on keeping my promises to you. It’s the only thing that keeps me alert most of the day as I haven’t been able to sleep as much as I’d like to. Our time at the river spoiled me, I didn’t realize how much energy I was getting from your lips. Sleep depravity meant nothing when I was with you.

Yours,

Yoongi.

By the time you finish the letter, a teardrop is regretfully staining the center of the page. Frantically, you wipe it from the parchment before it’s able to blur the ink placed there by your lover. The indents from his lettering are the only piece of him you have so, you press your fingers to the page in an effort to feel closer to him.

Over and over, you read the words he wrote, overcome with gratitude that he would go to such lengths to have this message delivered to you. By the time you’ve read it for the tenth time, your mother is calling you from the other room, signaling supper is ready.

You have no interest in eating at this moment but, you know that family dinners aren’t something you’ll be able to enjoy once Yoongi returns. So, you decide to file your thoughts away for later and join your parents in the main room.

The meal your mother prepared takes a lot of time and effort so, you insist on cleaning up after the three of you finish eating and, send your parents to bed early. They work so hard and, deserve all of the rest in the world.

After cleaning up the kitchen, you eagerly return to your room to draft your response to Yoongi.

General Min,

I am pleased to report that I have not one but, two woolen blankets at my disposal. You can put your obsessions regarding my warmth to rest for the time being. Other than missing you, my health has kept up just fine since you left. The village is preparing for a rainy season as we do every year but, I’m actually quite excited for the storms.

It’s good to know the Queens are supporting your mission as I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to track down such a volatile group. Nevertheless, my faith in your abilities is still strong. If anyone were able to apprehend them, it would be you. In regard to your sleep deprivation, I can only offer you my energy from afar. I visit the river every night since you’ve been gone and, I find myself leaning against our tree, wishing that it was you who was pressing me into it.

Continue to think of my lips, General. They will be all over you before you know it.

I cannot wait to hear from you again,

Y/N

A smirk is on your lips as you seal your letter with melted wax, hoping that your wayward tongue motivates him to keep going. The promise of finally being able to consummate your passion for one another burns brightly within you and, you can only hope he will feel the same.

The messenger had explained to you that he would return for your letter in the morning as he had other deliveries in the area. That night, you slept particularly well and, for once you were able to dream of something peaceful.

As promised, the man returns to your home the next morning to collect your letter and with a tip of his hat, he assures you that he will return the same time next month.

And he certainly does but, it seemingly comes at the cost of said month dragging on endlessly. However, when the messenger shows up at your home, you are quick to forget the last four weeks and, instead just focus on the small piece of Yoongi waiting for you. Before the boy continues on, a nagging question enters your mind and, you are stopping him before he reaches Rachel’s house.

“Excuse me, I hate to pry but, have you been in contact with the general at all?”

He offers a small smile as he shakes his head, “No, ma’am. The general leaves his letters at one of my many posts throughout this land. I met with him only once but, he specifically instructed me not to come looking for him if he didn’t leave anything for me to deliver; he said it was too dangerous.”

This frightens you as it comes ripened with the devastating possibility of Yoongi being incapacitated in some way. Of course it isn’t the man’s intention to worry you and rather than unloading all your anxieties onto him, you merely smile back and thank him for his time.

Before he knocks on Rachel’s door, you also learn his name and, silently scold yourself for not thinking to do so sooner.

He tells you his name is Hyunjin and, expresses his gratitude for your business before leaving you alone to read your letter.

Y/N,

I am trying to find the words to properly convey how many times I re-read your letter and, all of the ways I managed to use it, without sounding crude, but then I remembered that my Y/N doesn’t really care much for decency does she? So I shall be candid for once…

It’s very late when I’m writing my response and, I am overwhelmed with my desire for you. It’s quite sickening actually. I feel lightheaded when I think of us alone together.

Never in my entire life have I wanted someone so badly.

I wish I could see you somehow. Jungkook draws pictures of Rachel on every surface he can but, I don’t possess the artistic abilities he does. My attempts to draw you would be insulting. Although, I wouldn’t commission anyone to illustrate you either; They would mess it up somehow.

How has your month been? Are you still baking bread as often now that my greedy battalion is away?

Yours,

Yoongi

You are immediately transported back to your schoolyard days as you squeal into your bedsheets at his confessions. Yoongi truly had a way of saying everything you needed to hear in only a few words. More notably, he had a way of speaking so passionately; it took your breath away.

Feeling full of unbridled optimism, you pull out a fresh piece of parchment and your ink to begin drafting your response to him.

General Min,

I can’t help but wish you had been a bit cruder. Next time, feel free to include all of the way you used my words; it would comfort me to know that I am tending to your needs from so far away.

It seems as though you and I share the same illness. I can’t help but, think of you in the same light every evening when I’m trying to sleep. I only wish I was able to dream of you the same way, I’m certain I would wake up feeling much more rested.

Are there any updates on your progress? It’s been three months and, yet I feel as though it’s been twice as long. Are you feeling alright? Are you able to find adequate shelter?

I’m sorry for the interrogation but, I can’t help myself when I begin worrying about you.

Tell Jungkook that Rachel draws him as well. Every time I visit her at home, she is shoving one of her pictures into dress pocket. She thinks I don’t notice but, I most certainly do.

What kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t know when she was in love?

In regards to the bread, I am baking slightly less than I was before but, I still find myself adding in extra ingredients for you all every now and then.

I’ve gone on long enough but, I still have so much more to say.

Just know, I miss you terribly.

Love,

Y/N

Hyunjin returns again the following morning and, graciously accepts your letter before heading on his way. When you hand him the parchment full of late night confessions, you truly think nothing of it.

Despite the longing you felt for Yoongi, you had grown used to looking forward to his letters. In a way, it was almost as if he were much closer than he actually was. The letters made you feel like he were writing to you from the capital while he was away on business rather than out in the middle of the battlefield.

But that didn’t change the reality.

Yoongi was out in the battlefield and, things were growing far more complicated than he was letting on.

“Hyung, we can’t keep evading their fire. They are going to catch up to us eventually.”

Yoongi has been trying to write his response to you for over an hour and, every time he sits down to do so- he is interrupted.

This time, the interruption comes from Hoseok who stumbles into the tent, sore from yesterday’s battle.

“Yes they will,” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “and when they do, we will lead them to the outskirts of the capital where the Queen’s have established reinforcements.”

“Aren’t you worried they will strike before then? We have already lost-“

Yoongi interrupts him now, trying his best to control the frustration and pain in his tone, “I am aware. I write down every single one of their names. That does not change my plan. We will not engage unless we absolutely have to. I don’t want to see another village go down beneath our fire.”

Hoseok is dissatisfied with his answer but, he knows better than to question Yoongi when he is like this.

“What is our plan for tomorrow, hyung? Are we moving to a new area?” Jimin asks quietly, his tired eyes barely lingering open as he runs his fingers through Taehyung’s hair. His head is positioned in Jimin’s lap whilst his injured body tries to recuperate; everyone was losing their steam. “I don’t know if Taehyung should be travelling right now. He might have to ride on the back of my horse if we must move on…”

Yoongi’s chest tightens as he sees the state of his men.

The most prestigious army is now littered with bruises and open wounds. There isn’t a single muscle in their bodies that doesn’t feel strained or damaged in some way and, he doesn’t even remember the last time they had a proper meal.

Clutching his quill in his fist, he nods solemnly at Jimin’s comment, “You are probably right. I will walk the perimeter with the rest of our men tonight before bed and if all is clear, he can camp out an extra day whilst he heals.”

Jimin offers a small smile in return that only just reaches his eyes, “Thank you, hyung.”

He nods tightly, adjusting the grip on his quill before continuing to write; he has so much he wants to tell you. He wants to cry out to you in his letter but, he doesn’t want to worry you. Instead, he’d rather pretend like everything is alright, like the two of you are merely star-crossed lovers sneaking around after dark and, writing in code to communicate with one another without being caught.

He wants to pretend like he is anyone else but most of all, he wishes to pretend to be the man he promised you he would be.

But, he won’t lie to you.

He can’t.

Y/N,

This might be the last time you hear from me for a while. Things are growing extremely difficult for my men and I. We must now focus all of our efforts on making it to the outskirts of the capital safely so, that we have the reinforcements we need.

My entire body aches for you, Y/N. There is no comfort for me aside from your letters.

And as much as it pains me to say it, I am beginning to fear that I might not make it home to you. I have yet to express this to my men because, I don’t want to worry them. I just don’t know what our future holds anymore.

We have sustained so many losses.

I don’t want to worry you either but, I am only doing so because, I need you to know something. My need for you to understand this overcomes my need to make you comfortable.

I love

BANG.

With a flash of fire, the tent Yoongi resides in is quickly overwhelmed with chaos.

And as he hears the desperate calls of his men, he knows he has no choice but to abandon his words to you and, fight.

Or else he and his men are doomed.

---------------------------------------

There wasn’t a particular day Hyunjin arrived but, you did expect him to come some time during the middle of the month. However, the middle of the month comes and goes without a word from him and, while you find this to be quite odd, you chose to think nothing of it.

Yoongi was in the middle of a lengthy mission, it was a miracle you had been able to hear from him as much as you did.

However, when the second month passes without word from him- you begin to feel the tidal wave of panic swelling inside of you.

You feel idiotic for getting sucked into the romance of letter writing. It had convinced you, only for a moment, that there was nothing at stake.

But this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Everything was on the line.

How could you lessen your vigilance?

Yoongi could very well be in a grave danger somewhere and, you would never know.

Does he have arrangements for such a thing?

Did he consider this?

Of course he did, you think, as you begin to choke back your tears.

He has seen more carnage than you could ever imagine; he most certainly thought of informing you of his passing.

So maybe this is a sign to be hopeful.

Maybe this means that he is merely stuck somewhere or far too busy to send letters.

With an almost delusional sense of certainty, you furiously wipe your hand across your face and, try to gather yourself.

Today was a busier day at the market so, you desperately hoped things would move quickly.

For once, you are lucky enough to have your wish granted.

The next month however, isn’t so merciful.

Every day is the same. You wake up, try to muster up a smile, pack your wares and sell in the plaza. You bring Rachel her snacks and, the two of you eat in silence before it becomes too much and, you both end up crying.

She hasn’t heard from Jungkook either.

It’s been three months and, you have heard nothing about the whereabouts of the men you intended to be with for the rest of your lives. It’s as if the world is turned upside down and, you spend the majority of your time thinking the worst.

The next morning however, you are granted the briefest moment of respite when Hyunjin knocks at your door. You barely manage to pull on your coat when you yank open the door and, beam at his presence.

“Thank goodness, I was so worried-“ You are cheering for only a second until you catch a glimpse of his expression.

“Good morning ma’am. I’m sorry to have disturbed you but, I felt it was my duty to give you an update on the General…”

Your blood is cold and still within your veins and, the sickening feeling of grief begins crawling its way through your senses.

“We haven’t heard from his battalion for months now. The Queens have sent out a league of experts to find them but, we have yet to-“ He swallows back his nerves as he sees the look on your face, “-we have yet to be successful.”

The tears are unstoppable as they quickly flood the sockets of your eyes. Your hand feels clammy whilst it grips your door frame, your whole body growing numb with each word he utters.

“This doesn’t mean the worst, ma’am. The Tiger’s army is well known for disappearing like this, it’s part of their strategy. I just didn’t want you to be left wondering why I didn’t return. When I went to the postal location, nothing was waiting for me.”

With a shaky and unrecognizable voice, you ask, “Not from Jungkook either?”

He frowns, looking at you with pity, “Nothing, ma’am. There are normally hundreds of letters for me to deliver and, I didn’t find a single one.”

Regardless of his attempt to comfort you, you knew exactly what this meant: something was horribly wrong.

You couldn’t even manage to think of the word but, all of your terrifying nightmares containing Yoongi begin to flood your subconscious. It's all you can think about now.

“I promise to update you as soon as I hear from them, ma’am.” Hyunjin feels immensely uncomfortable delivering this news and, he is eager to return home as quickly as possible.

All you can manage is a nod before you robotically begin closing your door, “Thank you, Hyunjin.”

Thankfully, your parents are out for the day so, you’re able to shut the door quietly before sliding against it, allowing a broken sob to leave your lips.

You knew in your heart that the likelihood of Yoongi and his battalion being safe was next to nothing. The lack of his letters had been evidence enough but, you wanted to remain hopeful, you wanted to convince yourself that he was just busy.

But you were lying to yourself.

Cupping your hand around your mouth, you let out all of the emotion you couldn’t relinquish in front of Hyunjin. Your eyes burn as your tears stain your cheeks, your lips parted in a silent scream. With your body shaking, you cry for the life you were never able to have and, for the man you were never able to love.

That evening, your mother helps you into bed. She understands when you refuse supper even though she made your favorite. She lets you cry in her lap like you did when you were a little girl only this time, you weren’t crying over schoolyard bullies.

You don’t leave your bed for two weeks. The only time you have contact with anyone other than your parents is when Rachel finally decides to drop by to check on you. Of course, the feeling had been mutual and, just as you had before, the two of you spend most of your time crying together.

Once she decides to leave, you are once again left alone with your thoughts, all of which are of Yoongi. Today in particular, you are remembering his hands and, the first time you intertwined fingers.

“Why are you looking at my hands?” You had asked him

“Because I want to hold them.”

His voice echoes in your mind now as fresh tears find their way out of your eyes for the millionth time and, it’s this memory that prompts you to visit the river.

You hadn’t been back since Hyunjin came to deliver the news. The thought of going there alone sent a deep sadness through you but, part of you felt like it might be a good idea.

If you were to ever truly mourn him properly, you would have to grieve every piece of your time together.

Wrapping yourself up in your winter coat, you make the short journey towards a place you once called your favorite spot in the world. At first, it was because of the inner peace it had brought you but once Yoongi came into the picture, it took on a whole new meaning.

The rain had stopped hours ago so other than a bit of extra mud and a much colder breeze, the river looked just as it did during the summer.

Securing your coat tighter around yourself, you sniffle whilst looking out towards the river. The palette of the sunset is reflecting off the water and, bouncing against the ground beneath your feet. If it had been under any other circumstances, you would have felt content here. You would be collecting herbs, humming to yourself, speaking with the forest creatures- despite their lack of understanding you but...

Most importantly, you would be waiting for Yoongi.

The thought once again causes you to cry as your brain tries to conceptualize a world without him.

It seems so impossible.

...

“So- is this where the tree bark grows?”

Your eyes widen and you turn around so quickly you nearly fall over. As if out of a fairytale, General Min Yoongi stands just beneath the entrance to the river, dressed head to toe in his strongest armor. His hair is slightly messy and framing either side of his face and his mouth is portraying a brilliant smile.

He’s alive.

You’re crying harder now, frozen in place as you call to him, playing out the first time you two met here,

“You of all people should know not to ambush someone like that...”

If you aren’t mistaken, you see him sniffle as the smile on his face only grows, “I’m sorry, I’m late ma’am...”

His voice breaks at the end and the next thing you know, you are running. Opening his arms, he braces himself for you and, as you crash into him- he uses all of his strength to lift you off the ground. Spinning in a circle, he chuckles fondly when you start placing kisses anywhere you can reach: his cheeks, his lips, his nose, his forehead, his chin...

It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s him.

“You bastard!” You cry to him which only causes him to laugh harder, “I thought you were dead I- I thought you were...”

He stops spinning as his gloved hands come up to cup your face, his eyes wet with the slightest evidence of tears, “Shhh I know, I’m so sorry- I tried everything to reach you but, it wasn’t safe...”

You’re shaking your head, your hands coming up to rest over his, needing to feel every part of him, “It doesn’t matter- you're here now.” You say the phrase but then suddenly, you are overcome with a sickening feeling. What if you were just imagining this? What if you had simply dreamed of him? With a desperate glance, you press your hands into his harder, searching his eyes, “You are here aren’t you? Like- you're really here? You came back to me?”

Yoongi’s expression crumbles, his thumb brushing over your cheek, “I am, my love. I am here- this is the only place I know now.”

Sniffling again, you lean in towards his lips, your mind completely fuzzy with emotion, “Show me, show me you’re here.”

He takes the hint, closing the distance between you and, tucking his mouth into yours. It’s a much harder kiss than you’re expecting but, you relish in it nonetheless. Yoongi’s lips taste like medicine to you, all of your pain melting away beneath his touch. He sighs shakily as he presses your body into the cool steel of his armor, slightly wishing that he had been able to wash up before coming to see you.

It’s been a long journey.

“You’re here...” You whisper into the kiss, your hands tracing over his features, “You kept your promise...”

Yoongi is nodding, pecking at your lips over and over again, “I told you I would crawl didn’t I?” When you nod, he continues, “Well I crawled, darling. I crawled all the way back to you...”

You pull back slightly, unable to get enough of his face, your fingers coming up to brush the hair from his face. Elated, you laugh breathlessly, a smile burned onto your mouth.

“You will never have to crawl again, General Min. It is now my life-long mission to make sure you are in a warm bed with a full belly for the rest of your life.”

Yoongi beams at your sentiment, his eyes lighting up along with his grin whilst his hands slide down your body before settling on your hips, “I love you.”

There it is.

Those three little words that have been etched in your mind for longer than they should have been.

Gripping his face between your palms, you are bringing his mouth down towards you once again, “I love you too.”

After much more kissing, Yoongi mentions that he hasn’t eaten properly in quite a while and, that he has a few things to discuss with you before you can leave with him. You insist that he can use your family’s bathing area to wash up and, that you will pick up clothes for him in the plaza; the armor he’s wearing looks incredibly uncomfortable.

The two of you decide to visit the local tavern as it will be a good place for Yoongi to eat and, update you on what’s going on. He does specifically mention however, that he doesn’t want to speak of what he’s just been through. He only assures you that all six of his leaders survived and, that the Meddleways had been apprehended. He promises you that he will tell you stories from the mission later down the line but for now, he only wishes to speak about your future together.

However, there is one question that’s been nagging at you since he arrived that is slightly off-topic.

“Is Jungkook here?” You take your seat at the table across from him, slightly hating how far apart the two of you are.

Yoongi grins, a bit of fondness in his eyes, “He wouldn’t even wait for me to get out of the chariot before he was already sprinting like a mad man towards her home.”

You feel overjoyed at the thought of how your best friend’s day is going. The grief hit the two of the same way so, you hope she is feeling all of the happiness you felt when you realized the man you loved returned home.

“Are the four of us riding in the chariot together then? You might need to stay in town for a few days if that’s the case- I can throw all of my worldly possessions into a trunk but, Rachel would need more time to prepare.”

Yoongi reaches out for your hand then, smiling as you instinctively lace your fingers between his, “The chariot only has room for two, I’m afraid. My brother has decided to stay here for the time being. I think this final mission was especially hard on him, he’s expressed that he just wants to stay in one place for awhile.”

This resolution warms your heart. The idea of Rachel and, Jungkook making a quiet life for themselves in your home village, brings you so much joy. In many ways, it seems as though they had found a home in each other and, you couldn’t wait to see what their future held.

“I couldn’t imagine a more perfect scenario for the two of them. Although, I do know someday Rachel wishes to leave the village…I’m sure they will work out the details when the time is right.”

“My brother has already insisted that he will build her a house with his bare hands,” He chuckles, “so, at least she doesn’t have to worry about finding a carpenter.”

“What a gentleman.” You giggle before taking a sip of your drink.

Yoongi squeezes your hand gently, acknowledging your sentiment before eagerly moving back to what he wanted to discuss with you.

“My villa has been prepared for the two of us whenever we are ready. We have an entire battalion waiting to escort us there but, we will have to return to the capital after a few days.”

“Retirement ceremony?” You venture with a smile to which he chuckles and, shakes his head.

“I opted out of the theatrics actually. As much as I appreciate the sentiment, those ceremonies last far too long. I am just eager to start my life with you. However,” He sighs, wincing slightly, “my successor doesn’t seem to feel the same way. He wants his full induction ceremony which of course, I would have to attend...”

You cock your head, “Who is your successor?”

Yoongi smirks, “Seokjin-hyung.”

This doesn’t surprise you. Jin is the oldest member of the lead battalion and although Yoongi was technically their general, Jin never failed to assert himself as his right hand.

“I thought the seven of you were retiring this year. Did he re-enlist?”

Yoongi shakes his head, “No, he is taking on the position I turned down.”

You cock your head, brow furrowed with confusion, “Oh? What position is that?”

A rather arrogant look flashes in his eyes for just a moment until he seemingly reigns it in, attempting to keep his tone as casual as possible, “I was asked to serve on the royal council as an advisor to the Queens…”

Its impossible to hide the widening of your eyes causing Yoongi to chuckle at the expression on your face, “You must have made quite the impression, General Min. My father has always told me that positions on the royal council are passed down by blood…you really turned it down?”

Yoongi merely squeezes your hand, “I did. Do you think I was mistaken?”

You shake your head, “Oh, of course not. I mean- selfishly, it’s the outcome I would have hoped for but, I just want to ensure that you didn’t do this for me.”

A small grin comes over his lips whilst his thumb brushes over the backs of your knuckles, “Unfortunately, I can’t exactly guarantee that, ma’am. I don’t think any of my decisions are made without you in mind…” You open your mouth to protest and, Yoongi merely chuckles again, holding his finger up to signal that he isn’t finished, “However, even if I didn’t have you in mind- I still would have turned it down. As flattering as the offer was, I don’t wish to work in this field any longer. I’m grateful for my time and, honored that I was able to serve my land properly but-“ He stares into your eyes and, you can finally get a look at how exhausted he is, “I’m very tired. I’ve spent my entire youth with a sword on my hip and, I want to live simply now. If I’m being honest, I want to be detached from the rest of the world for a little while...”

You admire the man sitting across from you so much.

He’s only ever given to others, laying his life on the line over and over again, only to have his reputation constantly called into question. Staring at him now, you can’t even remember a time when he was nothing more than a rumor.

“I can’t even imagine the hardships you’ve endured. Your desire for peace is only natural after everything you’ve been through.” You place a kiss on the back of his hand, allowing your lips to linger there as he responds.

“What I desire is you.” He counters, his voice slightly raspier than before, “Peace will just allow me to indulge in you properly. I want no distractions... just as I told you before.”

Yoongi’s voice is laced with something that is wholly inappropriate for a public setting but, neither of you seem to care- instead you just stare at each other for a moment. You watch as his eyes travel over every inch of your face before slowly easing down your neck and, back up again.

The pain of missing him is one thing but, the lack of opportunity to bury into one another is physically painful.

You clear your throat and, send a smirk his way, letting him know that you understand what he’s getting at, “Did you offer the position to Seokjin? Or was he just next in line after you?”

Yoongi leaves his lust in the back of his head for now. He doesn’t want to rile himself up in the middle of the busy tavern.

“The Queens offered him the position when I turned it down. He was named my successor a few years ago when I fell ill so, he was already in a position to take over for me if necessary. Out of all of my men, he is the most capable but, also the most willing.” He chuckles, thinking fondly of his hyung, “He will do a far better job than I would anyhow. He is much more social and, outspoken. Plus, he will be living in the palace- I couldn’t imagine a better life for such a man.”

The warmth in Yoongi’s tone is palpable and, you can’t help but admire the way he talks about his men; its as though they are family to him.

“To Seokjin,” You smile, raising your glass.

Yoongi follows suit, clinking the rim of his goblet yours, his eyes brightening, “To Seokjin.”

As the two of you sip from your cups, Yoongi continues on with his explanation, “The journey to the villa will be brief. We will visit the palace for the ceremony in a few days and, then make our way back home again. From there, we are free to do whatever we wish.” The word home fills you with bliss. For the first time in months, it seems as though everything was falling into place. Now, the two of you could truly be together and, live out the rest of your days in peace.

“Free-“ You muse with a smile, “I quite like the sound of that.”

He smirks, “Of course you do. You have never failed to remind me that you don’t care much for the rules…”

Shrugging, you lean back in your chair and regard him for a moment before replying, “I don’t care for the rules that keep me away from you, General.”

His smirk never falters, “Consider them retired then, apothecary.”

The two of your resist the urge to maul one another in public and, decide to return to your home so that you can pack up your things and, Yoongi can bathe.

You try very hard not think of the fact that Yoongi’s naked body is on display in your back garden as you neatly fold your belongings away in your trunk. There are some things that you’re leaving behind so, that your parents can continue to sell your wares if they wanted to. Yoongi has arranged for them to receive part of his retirement so, they never have to worry about working again. It’s been discussed that the two of you will visit often and, you promised your parents you would write them every week.

Yoongi returns from his bath whilst you’re shoving the last of your clothing away. You can smell him immediately, the scent of your lavender soap wafting away from his skin as he walks toward you. He says nothing until his arms are wrapped around your waist, his chin coming to rest atop your shoulder, “I’ve never been in here before but, your room is very much like what I pictured.”

“Oh?” You lean against him, “I didn’t realize you would imagine what my room would look like.”

You feel him grin against your shoulder, “Well- I suppose I thought more about what we would do in your room…”

Biting your lip, you turn your head to the side to get a better look at him, “And what exactly would we do in here?”

You have half a mind to check to make sure Yoongi had closed the door to your bedroom but, when his hands start sliding up the front of your body, you no longer care.

“I would have love to take you in this bed…” A low chuckle comes from his throat as he starts kissing up the side of your neck, “Although, I wouldn’t be able to make you scream properly with your parents in the next room would I?”

His words send a jolt of electricity up your spine, your body growing weak beneath his touch. Through your nose, you emit a deep and unstable sigh before gripping his hands that are resting just under your breasts.

“You could have kept my mouth occupied somehow-“ You counter, feeling your attitude brewing beneath the surface of your patience.

At your comment, you feel Yoongi’s grip tighten on you as he moves his lips to your ear, “Excuse me?”

But all you do is smirk in return, regretfully pulling his hands from your body so you can continue packing.

“You’re excused.”

Yoongi is about to grab you again but, the knock on your door interrupts your flirting.

This seems to be a very irritating trend.

The two of you eventually part ways with your parents and, although you feel a bit of sadness, you’re overjoyed that they are able to live their life together in comfort. And because of Yoongi’s connections, you will be able to come visit them whenever you want.

The sexual tension between you and Yoongi has yet to fully fizzle out and, he reminds you of this as he grips your waist whilst the two of you walk towards Rachel’s home.

He has many things he’d like to say to you after that comment you made back in your bedroom but, the excited greetings from villagers prevent him from doing so. And all the while, you continue to grin, pleased that you’ve been able to pierce that carefully crafted demeanor of his.

You scamper away from him as you near Rachel’s front door, eager to see your friend after everything that has happened today. You’re anxious to see Jungkook too; Yoongi mentioned that this mission had been hard on him so, you’re hoping more so than anything that he isn’t injured too badly.

Yoongi lingers extremely close behind you as you knock on Rachel’s door, practically bouncing in your steps as you await for her to answer.

And boy does she…

Swinging open the front door, Rachel is still giggling at the man seemingly attached to her from behind. Her hair is absolutely destroyed and, her dress is buttoned up improperly as she addresses the two of you.

“Good evening, Y/N-“ She practically slurs, her eyes lit up with the type of insobriety that does not originate from alcohol. She bows her head towards Yoongi, “Good evening, General Min.”

Your lips are parted in delighted surprise as you survey the two bumbling humans before you. Jungkook is dressed only in his linen trousers, his black tendrils sticking in every direction atop his head and, from what you can see- his neck is littered with various reds and purples.

“Good evening to you- harlot…” You chide, trying to contain your laughter.

She shrieks, reaching out to smack your arm, just as she always does, joy painted all over her face, “Excuse you! I am a respectable woman of education.”

“Uh huh-“ You smirk, unconvinced before nodding towards the man behind her. He’s not even really paying attention to you, his eyes are just staring up at your friend like a lost puppy, his lips swollen from their previous activities, “Jungkook, it’s good to see you. Are you well?”

He merely smiles, only glances at you for a moment before his eyes rush back to Rachel, “Very well, thank you.”

Yoongi clears his throat, “Jungkook-ah,” He scolds, “Answer her properly…also, why are you answering the door if you aren’t decent.”

Jungkook seems to snap out of it, hiding behind Rachel in an effort to shield his body from your view, “My apologies. I’m feeling much better now, I’m glad to see you are looking healthy as well.” His tone shifts once again as he addresses Yoongi, his brown eyes lighting up with mischief, “I just wanted to see you off hyung and, uh- Rachel said this was decent in this village, I’m just adapting to the new lifestyle.”

Yoongi raises a brow, unconvinced but endeared nonetheless, “I am highly suspicious of that explanation…”

Jungkook giggles like a boy who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, “You should be.” He winks at his hyung, giggling harder as Yoongi wrinkles his nose in disgust. He rests his chin back upon Rachel’s shoulder before speaking again, “Are you two heading to the villa then?”

You’re grinning now, admiring how relaxed Jungkook seems around her, “We are. I was hoping to hug my best friend goodbye before we made the journey…”

Jungkook gets the hint, his eyes widening a bit as he reluctantly moves his arms from her, “I will give you thirty seconds.”

This causes Rachel to laugh, waving him off playfully as she opens her arms to you, “Come here you…”

You throw your arms around her, smiling even as the tears sting the corners of your eyes, “I’m going to miss you… far more than I care to admit…”

She laughs again, patting your back gently, “Oh you know I’ll be around…” She assures you but, her voice is tightening with her own emotions, “…but please make the journey to me often…I fear how stale this village will become without you.”

You’re looking at Jungkook now as he grins softly, admiring the two of you and, send a look his way, “I’m sure this one will keep you properly entertained…”

Finally, the Jungkook you remember returns as he seems to shy away from your comment, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Rachel is staring at Yoongi too and, she musters up the courage to throw a pointed finger in his direction; she is still slightly intimidated by him after all.

“You’ll take care of her, won’t you? She is precious cargo, General Min.”

Yoongi tips his head toward her as he chuckles, placing his hand over his heart, “You have my word, ma’am.”

Rachel smiles, sniffling a bit as the two of you release each other, “Good.” You pull away from her, trying not to give in to your urge to cry as you both sort of giggle, exchanging a series of knowing glances with one another.

“I love you, my dear friend.” You squeeze her hands and, she returns the gesture, her eyes glossy while she slowly begins to release your hands.

“I love you.”

Jungkook is back on her then, his brow furrowed with concern at her saddened state. He says nothing, not wanting to ruin the moment between you two and, chooses to press a soft kiss to her shoulder instead.

Yoongi moves closer to you as well, winding his arm around your waist and, squeezing your hip reassuringly.

“Write to me?” Rachel asks, trying to mask the cracks in her voice.

You nod, blinking back the remainder of your tears, “Every week.”

Leaving Rachel is one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do but, it feels so much better knowing how happy she will be. Yoongi stays silent for the moment, gently escorting you down the street, waving at many of the civilians that bid the two of you farewell.

Roughly 10 minutes later, the two of you are huddled in the back of a massive wooden chariot, pulled along by four black horses and accompanied by a group of guards. The interior is lined with padded silk and, is easily the softest thing you’ve ever sat on in your life. After the two of you are settled inside, Yoongi mentions your departure with Rachel:

“You two have a special bond, I’m sorry that you won’t be living near her for the time being…” He feels guilty for the moment, wondering whether or not you were happy giving up so much for him, “You know, we can always come back. I could commission the architect to design us a home out here.”

You squeeze his hand, touched that he would suggest such a thing, “I appreciate your concern but, I promise you that I am beyond content with my decision.”

His lips curve slightly, feeling satisfied with your answer for the time being. He would be sure to check in with you often, the last thing he wants is for you to feel unfulfilled.

“I’m happy to hear that but, please don’t hesitate to let me know if you ever get tired of me.” He chuckles, squeezing your hand as the two of you approach the chariot.

“I promise you, you would know...” You assure him, nudging his leg with your foot. Yoongi grins and quick as ever, he grabs your ankle and, places it upon his lap. The sudden motion makes you jump, a bit of laughter coming from your lips. Silently but still grinning to himself, he gestures for your other foot with his hand until you get the hint to rest both of them in his lap. He looks down at them, something unreadable flashing through his eyes whilst his fingers brush over the tops of your ankles.

Its such a simple gesture and, yet it sends shivers across the surface of your skin. Yoongi continues to touch you, not saying a single word as he traces the faint shape of the veins beneath your flesh. Resting your head against the silk lining of the chariot, you allow your eyes to close in order to enjoy his touch. As your lids fall shut, Yoongi grins softly, finally allowing himself to ogle at you the way he wants to.

And oh, can you feel his eyes on you. They burn into your skin despite the fact that you cannot see exactly where he is looking. Truthfully, it wouldn’t matter even if you did, his eyes were everywhere.

His fingers slowly venture up to slide along either of your shins but, he is careful not to reach your knees just yet. And it's here that you decide to set your curiosity free.

“When was the last time you had sex?”

You feel his motions stop for a split second as he processes your question, the silence of the chariot much louder than before.

“Not long before I first arrived at your village.”

The effort to hide your frown is in vain as Yoongi’s rickety laughter gives you the hint that he’s already spotted it.

“Does that upset you?”

You keep your eyes shut, trying to stifle your smile, “Immensely.”

And there is another beat of silence before the two of you are laughing together. Yoongi flattens his palms on your legs, rubbing them gently in an effort to soothe them.

“I suppose that’s reasonable.” He concedes, his tone thoroughly amused, “And you?”

Your teeth are on your bottom lip then, trying to stifle yet another smile, “Not long before you first arrived at my village.”

Yoongi is pinching the skin of your calf playfully as an affronted scoff leaves his lips, “I see what you mean now, that is a truly upsetting answer.”

At long last you open your eyes and, the two of you regard each other for only a moment before you’re laughing again. It feels quite juvenile to jest about something like this but to you, it’s merely a testament of your comfort around Yoongi.

“I guess it sounds odd on my end though, doesn’t it? Since I’ve been so insistent on waiting with you...”

You shake your head, “I don’t think so. I never assumed you insisted on waiting because you were protecting a virtue of some kind. You are a 28-year-old man, it would be silly of me to think that you hadn’t taken a partner before.”

“Taking a partner sounds far too intimate...” He retorts, “...my reputation caused many people to throw themselves at me in attempt to satisfy some sort of fantasy. Occasionally, my physical needs made me privy to their advances. But, that’s all it ever amounted to.”

It does sadden you that people interacted with Yoongi in this way. If they had taken just a moment to get to know him, they would have discovered someone worth spending their time on. In your case, spending a life time with...

You’re adjusting your position so that you’re able to get closer to him. With your feet off of his lap, you move across the seat until you sitting right beside him. His arm immediately positions itself around your shoulders, hugging you against him whilst your fingers venture towards the free hand now resting in his lap. Silently, you run your fingers over his skin, not missing the way his breathing shifts as you do.

“I am exceptionally grateful that you allowed me to get to know you. I don’t think I could have been this happy with anyone else.”

Your voice is smaller than normal and, it makes Yoongi feel warm inside, his head cocking in such a way to signal that he wants you to look at him.

“The pleasure has been all mine, ma’am- I can assure you.”

He leans into to kiss you then, barely capturing your lips before he’s pulling away to rest his forehead against yours. In the small beat of silence, you choose to utter the words you’ll be saying every chance you get for the rest of your life,

“I love you.”

And with a brilliant smile and, a kiss to your nose, he is whispering, “I love you too.”

On the rest of the journey, Yoongi updates you on the status of the rest of his battalion:

Seokjin, as he mentioned earlier, is making arrangements to move into the royal palace as he will be taking the coveted position of the royal advisor to the Queens. Yoongi also explains that he will likely take a partner in the coming years and, that his family will be well-taken care of for generations to come.

Namjoon returned to his home village to reconnect with his beloved, Danielle. The two of them plan to move towards the ocean and, raise a family there. Yoongi explains that it will likely be awhile until he sees him again but, that you both can expect a wedding invitation in the next year or so.

As for Jimin and Taehyung- they will be following a similar path that you and Yoongi are. Their villa is positioned deep in the forest, even further from civilization than the one you’re headed to. The last thing Jimin said to Yoongi when they parted ways was that he plans on dropping by once every other month to catch up, emphasizing how much he would miss him.

Hoseok’s status was somewhat of a mystery and, Yoongi smirks with a sense of fascination as he explains where he might be. Years ago, Hoseok met a woman who matched his skill with a bow and arrow. She lived in a village not far from yours and, takes a rather firm position against any kind of authority. Hoseok took a liking to her attitude and, challenged her to a marksmen competition. She won. Naturally, Hoseok was both wounded and intrigued by this woman and, Yoongi suspects that they had been lovers for quite some time until his battalion eventually had to move on. Her name was Orion, just like the constellation and, Yoongi bets all the gold in his possession that Hoseok disappeared to look for her.

The ride to Yoongi’s villa comes to an end nearly half a day later and, you’re asleep on his lap when he gently shakes your shoulder.

“We’re here, darling.”

And here you most certainly were.

Beyond a massive wooden gate laid the most beautiful structure you had ever seen. The villa sits proudly in the middle of a massive stretch of emerald grass with an array of flowers blooming around the perimeter of the cherry oak that winds in intricate patterns up into strong pillars. The windows are tan and, made of a screen like material which is intended to keep pests out of the home. There is a pond just off to the side, which you are eager to explore later and, a balcony facing the right side of the forest. Yoongi had not exaggerated when he said that the villa was quite far from civilization for the backdrop of the scene before you were the mountains themselves, enormous and calm as they loom over the property.

Everything inside Yoongi’s villa was a brand of luxury you had never known: art, elaborate furniture, plumbing, and more space than you knew what to do with. Still however, it was uniquely Yoongi in that it was comforting.

It felt like home.

He explains some of the interior to you as he leads the way to his bedroom. He mentions that you can get comfortable and put your feet up while he checks the perimeter; something he says to expect every night.

Old habits die hard.

With a kiss, he opens the door for you and, promises he will return in shortly.

His bedroom, or our bedroom as he had called it, matched the rest of the villa. It was quaint but clearly displayed his immense wealth as he had an enormous bed in the center of the room covered in likely expensive linens. The windows were all shuttered for now, the only light coming from the lanterns hanging by the door and the entrance to the balcony.

Whilst Yoongi is checking the perimeter, you figure you only have a few minutes to prepare before he returns. Rushing over to your trunk, you settle beside it on your knees as you rifle through your belongings, looking for the one article you had been saving specifically for this evening. Tucked into the bottom, much neater than the rest of your items is a sapphire robe made from the finest silk your village offered. You had been working on it slowly every since Yoongi had left, preparing for the night when you two were finally alone.

You were buzzing with anticipation as you take off your clothes, neatly folding them and setting them aside. Then the cool silk is drawn over your body before you secure it with the tie just above your belly button.

With a deep breath drawn in through your nose, you pad over to the end of his bed and, take a seat upon the cream-colored linen. The rain begins marching prominently upon the outside of the villa bringing a cold breeze through the cracks in the shutters. The glow of the lanterns placed at the entrance of the chamber throw shadows onto the tile floor, entertaining you for only a moment until the creaking sound of the door grabs your attention.

Yoongi enters the room, not looking up as he relays the findings of his perimeter check, “Other than a few rabbits, the coast is clear and, I think after all my years of training I can handle-“ He is in the middle of this joke when he looks up at you, the rest of his sentence dying on his tongue. You see his Adam’s apple bob in his throat, his eyes darkening as they trail over your figure.

It seems like forever before he says something, his body simply frozen by the door, unable to do much else aside from staring at you.

“I don’t remember you packing that…” He breathes, his tongue wetting his lips.

“That’s because I hid it from you intentionally.” A nervous but sly smile comes across your lips, your hands sliding over the tops of your thighs, smoothing down the robe for the millionth time, “Do you like it?”

He’s shaking his head, his lips kissing his teeth, as he steps just a little bit closer to you, “That’s really not the proper word to use…”

“Well-“ You swallow, standing up from your position on the bed, eyes searching for his, “You are free to use whatever words you’d like…”

“I’ve suddenly forgotten most of the words I know, unfortunately.” He counters, his eyes darting from you to the floor multiple times before finally focusing on your face. And he’s shaking his head all over again, a sort of desperate look in his eyes, “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?

The sincerity in his tone takes your breath away but, you do everything you can to hold his gaze, trying to beckon him toward you, “I want you to see all of me.” Your hands are moving towards the tie that’s concealing you from him but, when you’re about to undo it, his voice stops you.

“Wait-“ He pleads, hands lingering out in front of him, “May I?”

You try your best to swallow but, the sheer look of desire in his eyes is removing all moisture from your mouth. Nodding, you hold a hand out to him, your fingers wiggling to beckon him toward you.

He finally seems to thaw out his frozen posture, heeding the gesture of your hand and, closing the distance between you. Almost involuntarily, he leans down and places a soft kiss against your mouth. His lips are dry, almost sticking to yours as he pulls away.

He’s nervous.

You both are.

But at the same time, you feel so incredibly at ease. There is a sense of peace between you now and, even though you’re about to experience something incredibly intense, you are both finally free from the bonds of the outside world.

Now, it is only the two of you and, all the unresolved passion that needs tending to.

Yoongi leans his forehead against your own, his hands slowly moving towards the tie at the center of your robe. You can see that they are unstable, the breath that leaves his nose is proof of that but, he continues forth anyway until his fingers are beneath the bow.

“You’re sure?” He whispers, his breath hot on your lips, making you want to kiss him all over again.

Your hands come up then, cupping either side of his face as you pull away, eyes desperately searching his own, “Certain.”

With your confirmation, he pulls the tie forward, drawing the robe apart and revealing your bare body to him. You never allow your eyes to leave his face, wanting to capture every bit of his reaction.

When you come into view, his expression seems to collapse slightly, his lips immediately parting in awe. Doing the impossible, he tries to swallow again when you use your fingers to slide the robe the rest of the way off.

And without saying a single word, he drops to his knees right in front of you, his hands coming up to grip your hips. Looking up at you, he shakes his head in disbelief, entirely overwhelmed by your beauty.

“There isn’t a battle in the world that could have prepared me for you.”

His words knock the wind from your chest, your breath leaving your lips in an unstable burst when your hand comes out to touch his cheek. When you do, he smiles, with nothing but bliss present in his expression. He turns his face so that he can press his lips into your palm a few times before rubbing his mouth over the area. Your other hand comes into play then, brushing over the clips in his hair and then allowing your fingers to slide down the length of his ponytail.

Right before he speaks again, he drags his lips to your wrist and, nibbles at the skin there, his grin broadening when he hears the change in your breathing, “Will you take my hair down for me, darling?”

His request is nearing the likeness of a coo. It’s a tone you’ve never heard before but, you now know you’d do anything if he asked you with this voice.

You pull your hand from his face and, allow it to join your other one in gently removing the accessories in Yoongi's hair. They might add a level of luxury to his look but, you know for a fact you prefer him without them.

He is beautiful without any embellishments.

When you start on undoing the elaborate work in his hair, he rests his chin just beneath your belly button and, simply stares up at you. The intensity of his gaze actually makes your cheeks hot but, you do your best to continue taking down his hair, scratching at his scalp once you’re finished removing the clips.

His eyes close as you do, a low hum resonating in his throat at the sensation. Yoongi’s hands begin moving down the sides of your body whilst his lips pepper kisses all along your stomach. They’re wet and lacking urgency and, they send a wave of pleasure directly between your thighs.

“Your hair is so beautiful- you'll have to let me practice my skills on it one day...” You murmur with a smile, letting out a sigh as he takes a bite out of your hip.

“You may do whatever you wish with me...” Yoongi smirks, sponging his lips down towards the ache between your leg, “For however long you wish.”

“I wish to undress you-” You reply, coaxing his gaze up towards you, “and then maybe have a turn on my knees...”

At your comment, Yoongi takes another bite out of your hip, his eyes blazing with lust. And almost defiantly, he begins kissing towards the tuft of hair between your legs, his tongue licking and just barely tasting the skin above your core.

Your fingers are back in his hair when he buries his face in yours and, you hear him inhale deeply before exhaling with a groan.

“You smell so good…” He nearly whines, kissing over the mound of your pussy, “…wont you wait your turn? I want to taste you first.”

And it’s so unbelievably lewd isn’t it?

The two of you had only pecked each other’s lips and, your lover is still completely dress and yet, he is begging to bury his head between your legs.

“Before you’ve undressed?” You tease, trying to maintain some level of sanity but, the way he’s looking at you is making that an impossible feat.

He looks absolutely maddened.

His response comes in the form of his tongue, licking over the top of you whilst his hands grip the outside of your thighs to coax them apart.

“Do you want me to starve?” He accuses, a sense of darkness in his eyes. Before you’re able to answer, he licks up the length of your pussy, his fingers pressing into your flesh, “Hm?”

The lust that’s running through your body is peaking at dangerous levels from his touch but, the way he’s talking to you is sending you into frenzy.

You feel like you’re going to explode.

“No, of course n-“

He cuts you off then, his eyes nearly black with desire, “Then let me eat.”

Your head is on the pillows seconds later with Yoongi nudging your legs apart so that he can situate himself between them. The silk of his own robes tease across the surface of your sensitive skin with every movement of his body. He still seems to be taking in the rest of you with hungry eyes but, as soon as he uses his hands to part your legs, his gaze turns ravenous.

Bared before him, you can feel how wet you are when the cold air of the room hits the moisture between your lips. You’re positively drenched and, he hasn’t even touched you yet.

This fact doesn’t go unnoticed by Yoongi who is now smirking darkly betwixt your thighs. He says nothing as his index finger draws a line straight down the center of your pussy before curling towards himself as he follows it back up, collecting the evidence of your arousal.

Even in the dimly lit room, you can see the way you’ve drenched his finger but, he emphasizes the visual by rubbing his index against the tip of his thumb, only to pull them apart and display your arousal drawing a string between them.

Yoongi stares at you with slight quirk to his lips as he raises his fingers to his mouth. He makes a show of sucking each of his digits until his cheeks hollow out, his eyes closing at the taste of you.

Your cunt quivers at the sight of him, mouth parted in disbelief at how unbelievably good he looks.

When he pulls his lips from his fingers, he allows the smirk to form on his mouth once again before whispering, “Oh- I’m going to devour you.”

And then his head is buried between your thighs.

Yoongi’s tongue moves with contradiction, like lightening and mud all at once. He traces the tip of it around the circumference of your clit slowly but, sucks it into his mouth with fervor. In an effort to torture you with pleasure, he never does one movement for too long, knowing that this would draw you to your end far too quickly.

You can feel your breath leaving your lips at an unstable rate, your fingers searching for something to grasp onto. Yoongi has this covered of course, his hands reaching for yours before resting both of your intertwined digits on your hips.

His tongue continues to explore each fold of you. It’s as if he were collecting every ounce of moisture from your cunt before becoming determined to make you to make it all over again.

When Yoongi is satisfied with cleaning you up, he sets his sights on your clit, his tongue licking over the throbbing bundle of nerves three times before releasing his grip on of your hands and, placing one atop his head.

With an adoring glance, he slurs, “Use my mouth, darling. Show me how you like it…”

His gesture makes you let out a breath you had been unconsciously holding, your grip tightening in his hair at his request.

The sensation sends a shiver down his spine that he most certainly plans on addressing later. For now however, he is preoccupied with learning how you like to cum.

You tug his hair gently so his mouth his back over your clit and, slowly you move his head up and down. Ever the fast learner, he quickly picks up on the pattern you want and begins licking his tongue over the throbbing muscle.

The relief that comes with consistent pleasure finally pulls a moan from your lips, to which Yoongi immediately mirrors between your legs. You find yourself parting your legs further, your hips angling up to get closer to his mouth which only causes him to increase the pressure of his tongue.

The pleasure is mounting inside of your stomach like a hurricane and, for some buried reason, you bite your lip to attempt from crying out. Yoongi stops what he is doing and pulls his lips from you, which are completely soaked with your arousal.

His brows are drawn together in disappointment, his hair tickling your thighs as he shakes his head, “Oh please…let it out my love, no one can hear you but me.”

He pulls his tongue up the length of your clit slowly, his gaze nearly predatory as he reinforces his request, “Won’t you sing for me, darling?”

You nod, licking over your lips as you guide his mouth back to your cunt. He seems to work twice as hard now, flattening his tongue as he continues to rub it against your clit.

The muscles within your core are fluttering inside of you, your orgasm not far from reality. At Yoongi’s pleading you allow yourself to be more vocal, whimpering his name when he sucks at your clit.

He groans again at the sound of it, his fingers digging into your hips for the moment and then, suddenly pulling back. Eyes locking with yours, his wet lips get to work on lubricating his digits before positioning them at your entrance.

Yoongi licks his lips and, with a salacious look he says, “Deep breath…”

And try as you might, the feeling of his fingers curling up inside of you, yank the breath you attempt to take right from your throat.

“Ah-“ You preen, leaning up on your elbows to watch him fuck you with his fingers, “Oh Yoongi…yoongi…”

He grins up at you, securing his fingertips against the spongy tissue you inside of you whilst his other hand comes down to rub at your clit, “I shall ban anyone else from uttering my name, only you know how to say it correctly.”

With the increase in speed and pressure, you can feel something mounting inside of you that you’ve never felt before. You don’t quite know what it is, you just know that you’re going to make a mess.

Slightly panicky, your shaky hand reaches out for him, “These are clean linens…I feel like I’m going to soil them.”

The breathy and desperate nature of your tone goes straight to Yoongi’s throbbing erection but, instead of burying myself in you as he wants to, he merely increases the pace of his fingers.

“They will be much cleaner if you do, my love.” He assures you, his voice nearly cooing, “Just remember to say my name.”

His right hand is massaging against your clit at the perfect pace as his fingers curl up harder inside of you. The squelching sounds from your body would normally embarrass you under different circumstances but now, the pleasure is too overwhelming for you to care.

“Oh- oh Yoongi…yoongi…” You whine, your back arching off the bed as the dams inside of you break, your orgasm gushing out of your cunt in a way it never has. And although you can’t see him because your eyes are screwed shut, you feel Yoongi’s breath grow closer to your core until his mouth is back on your clit.

“Yoongi!” You whimper, toes curling into the sheets as he draws the pleasure from you.

He groans against you once again, his tongue repeating the same pattern you showed him earlier until you are shivering mess beneath him. Once he can sense you growing sensitive, he gets to work at slurping up every ounce of your release. His lips are sucking at your folds, your entrance, the inside of your thighs, nibbling and licking up every single thing you gave him.

With spotty vision, you anxiously reach down for him, suddenly despising the distance between you. He takes notice instantly, crawling up the length of your body and, placing kisses on every bit of you that he can.

Yoongi’s hair forms a platinum curtain around your head, which closes quickly when you grip the back of his neck to pull him down towards you. You meet each other’s lips with a type of hunger you now fear that you could never satisfy, tongues intertwining with desperation.

Ever so tenderly however, Yoongi his cupping your cheek and whispering sentiments to ease your overstimulated body.

“Shhh it’s ok, its ok my love.”

“You did so well.”

“You fed me so well.”

“I love you- I love you so much…”

With each phrase, he seals it with a kiss, the rest of his body settling between your legs and its then you are reminded that he is still clothed and, desperately hard.

“I love you too.” You whisper shakily against his lips, “I want to see you, I want to please you now…”

You’re practically begging, filled with disdain that his body is hidden from you, especially after you’ve just cum all over his face.

And he’s grinning against your lips, a rather sly look twinkling in his eyes, “And how do you plan on pleasing me?” He hums, kissing up the length of your nose.

“Well…” You begin, allowing a hand to travel down the black silk adorning his body before finding the solid length of his cock, leaning away from his hips. Smirking softly, you place your palm against him, relishing in the way he twitches up towards it, “You said you’d give me your soul didn’t you? I want it down my throat first.”

Your comment causes him to groan, hips pushing forward against your hand as he furrows his brow. Almost frantically, he stares down at you and shakes his head, “I know you think of me as a strong man but, I don’t think I could contain myself if you put your mouth on me- not with the taste of you still on my lips.”

Using your hand, you encase his length in the silk of his pants, squeezing gently as you move it up towards the tip of him. And you have his head hanging on his shoulders now, arms trembling beside your head whilst he tries to hold himself together.

“I don’t remember asking you to contain yourself. Those have always been barriers you designed.”

Yoongi looks up at you, eyes drawn in with a mix of pleasure and apprehension. When you squeeze him again, he shivers, a wanton groan leaving his lips. When he opens his eyes again, they look more nervous than when he stood before you at the end of the bed. In fact, it’s a look that you’ve never really seen before.

It compels your hand away from him slowly as your other one comes to cup his face, “What’s wrong?”

He breathes out a laugh, his mouth turned up at the corner, “Why is it that you can always find your way into my head and yet, I can never find my way into yours?”

You ignore his attempt to lighten the mood, your thumb brushing over the apple of his cheek, “Yoongi- what is it?”

The tone of your voice is gentle but, the look in your eyes compels Yoongi to bear his truth, no more how vulnerable he feels.

“My body is-” He sighs and restarts his sentence, leaning his face into your hand, “The last battle, it left me with many injuries. Most of them have healed but, I don’t want them to startled you.”

You sit up then, causing him to take a seat on the backs of his legs. Unable to help your saddened expression, you simply shake your head, “Yoongi, the only thing your body can be is beautiful. You have laid your life on the line for the people of this land, myself included. I could only ever love everything about the body that brought you home to me.”

With glassy eyes Yoongi is reaching out for you, placing a searing kiss upon your lips and, through it he murmurs “I have never let anyone undress me before…”

You kiss him once more and pull away a bit to lock eyes with him, “Do you trust me?”

And looking like a much younger man, his wide-eyed gaze full of innocence he nods, his hand coming up to brush against your cheek, “You’re the only one.”

His response accounts for several sentiments. His trust, his love, his dedication…

All meant for you.

“May I undress you then?”

His answer comes in the form of another kiss, lips attaching to yours with passion as his hands reach out for your fingers. He leads them to front of his robe, which covers the length of his tunic and his pants and urges you to remove it from him. Taking his lead, you push the material from his shoulders and, allow it to drop behind him before finding your way to the hem of his tunic.

The two of you find each other's eyes once again whilst you slowly draw the material up his torso. He follows your motions, lifting his arms above his head and placing them back by his sides when his tunic is removed.

The first thing you notice is his hair, flowing in prominent waves down his chest and, stopping just above his belly button. Then come his arms, strong and lanky all at once, much of their surface littered with the evidence of his missions. You can see what he meant and, you try to control your expression when you gaze upon the bruises and, cuts that have yet to heal.

You want to scold him for not acknowledging his injuries earlier so, that you could tend to them. But, you can clearly see that they have been taken care of by someone with much more skill.

His eyes are on you, searching for any sign of disapproval, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

He wish you could hear what you are thinking.

But just then, a soft smile comes over your lips as you carefully take his chin betwixt your fingers, “Just as I thought- you are molded from the gods, Min Yoongi. There has never been a man who contained more beauty.”

Your words hit his heart like a dagger, some of the air nearly forced out of his lungs. And he’s wanting to kiss you again, his lips desperately chasing yours before your hand comes to rest on his chest.

“Easy tiger…” You giggle, causing his lips to twitch into a smile, “I haven’t finished yet…”

He eases up, moving back into place with both of you still on your knees, facing one another. With tender hands, you move the tendrils of hair from his chest so that they flow freely down his back. His chest is fully exposed to you now, the swollen muscles beneath his pecks also displaying traces of the life he has lived.

Of the life he is finally able to leave behind.

Now, with just your fingertips, you trail your them across his clavicle, stopping for a moment at the ball of his shoulders before trailing them all the way to his wrists. A prominent shiver rattles through him, his hands twitching by his sides with the need to reach out and touch you.

But he doesn’t.

He stays perfectly still with only his eyes falling shut as you explore the surface of his skin. You take your time, dipping your fingers into the lines of his muscles, tracing the maze of veins beneath his skin, and smoothing your palms across the tops of his shoulders.

He’s properly turning to mush when you whisper, “Lay down…”

Like a man bewitched, he feels the urge to obey every command that comes from your lips and, commit every statement you make to memory.

He pushes his hair back, allowing it to settle on the pillows in various directions. And beneath you now, with his arms outstretched above his head, he looks like a king.

A sort of curve settles on his mouth when you position yourself between his thighs and, although he may look strong and confident beneath you, you can’t hear the way his heart is hammering in his chest.

Sex is familiar to Yoongi.

Intimacy however, is not.

Smoothing your palms down the muscles in his stomach, you use your fingers to hook under the band of his pants.

“You might need to help me with this part.” You smile and it only broadens as he chuckles, lifting his butt in the air and maneuvering his body so that he can help you pull the material down his legs.

Settling back into his position, Yoongi takes a deep breath whilst you take in the sight of him. He’s so hard. The skin of his dick, reddening towards the tip, the veins winding patterns up his shaft, the whole length of him begging to be touched.

“My, my- so the rumors are true…” You muse, slowly tickling your fingers up his inner thighs, which send his dick twitching in response.

His brow is furrowed however, wondering what you’re getting at and, you answer him before he ends up asking you.

“You do keep a viper on you at all times.”

And for the first time this evening, he is laughing. The full bellied and rickety sound leaves his lips as he wipes a hand over his face.

“You are incorrigible.”

His tone is disapproving but, his eyes are still filled to the brim with adoration. Because of course you would make this so easy for him.

Of course you would make love so easy.

All of his fears seem to mean nothing when he is with you, even when he is at his most vulnerable like he is now.

“And you, my dear Yoongi-“ Your tone lowers a bit as your brush your fingers over his balls, smirking when you see his chest puff out, “-are beautiful.”

With that, you lean down and lick slowly up the length of his cock, collecting the bit of precum that has collected on the tip. He tastes like the salt of the earth and, with that small bit of him- you now find yourself craving so much more.

His lips part, a sharp breath leaving the confines of his throat, his fingers quickly rushing to the sheets in anticipation. It’s been nearly half a year since he received any sort of pleasure from another person but, seeing as it’s now coming from the woman he loves, he is overwhelmed.

You are licking up the length of him again, your ass sticking up there for him to gaze upon as you slowly encircle his throbbing dick in your palm.

He is melting.

With his chest rising and falling unsteadily, Yoongi’s stare blazes right through you, when you suck him into your mouth.

“Oh fuck-“ He swears under his breath, the sound of that word coming from his lips sending an ache back to your core. You start him out slow, your cheeks hollowing out with the force of the suction you’re providing him.

His fingers toy helplessly with the linen beside him, the pleasure from your mouth numbing the tips of his toes.

With your free hand, you cup his balls, sighing through your nose at the almost desperate groan that leaves his mouth. He looks beautiful, his lips parted, stomach caved in at the pleasure he’s experiencing, his hands fisting in the sheets beside him.

“’sso good…” His brow is furrowed now, hips jolting a bit when you take him deeper towards your throat, “Be c- careful love, I don’t want to hurt you…”

But you don’t listen and, instead you continue your motions, your two fingers pressing behind his balls as you attempt to swallow his length.

“A-ah…” He throws his hand over his mouth, still slightly apprehensive at the sounds he wishes to make. You watch him as he breaths through the gaps in his fingers, eyes squeezing shut whilst you take him further down your throat.

He moans into his hand, his toes curling into the linen. And to address his attempt to conceal his sounds of pleasure, you simply walk your fingers across his trembling stomach and tap lightly.

Instinctually, he looks down at you- nearly cumming when you suck off of his length, your lips swollen and covered in saliva which you then spit back down on his dick.

Rubbing your lips against the sensitive underside of him, you coo, “We’re the only ones out here, my love. Let it out…”

He leans down, rubbing his thumb over your lips for the moment as he nods rapidly before allowing his head to hit the pillow again.

Chest heaving, he tries to prepare himself for your mouth all over again but, fails miserably. The pleasure is just so intense.

You waste no time in easing him back into your mouth, paying careful attention to relax your throat. He is confident, even in all of his years of sexual exploration, that he has never felt like this before.

He feels like he barely has a grip on his sanity and, when you take him down your throat- he has no choice but to whimper.

The sound only encourages you, your eyes unable to leave him as you watch his nipples harden, his stomach cave again, his eyes roll back…

“Fucking- fuck…fuck fuck…” He mutters through gritted teeth before his mouth parts again, “Please- don’t stop.”

Fucking him into your throat is no easy feat but, the sheer state of ecstasy he seems to be in, allows you to continue.

You rub at his hips, attempting to sooth him, your motions on his dick now becoming hands-free as his hips start pumping at their own pace. Despite the burn in your throat, you don’t ease up, wanting to see him overcome with the sensations, wanting to please him completely…

He shakes his head, eyes blown out and searching for an explanation as to why it feels so good but, he comes up empty.

Its just you.

Yoongi slams his head against the pillows, exposing his Adams apple when he swallows back the scream that wants to leave his chest. But when he feels his balls tighten and throb with his impending orgasm, he caresses your cheek.

“Please, my love- wait a moment…please…” He’s only pleading because it’s the only thing that can properly leave his mouth right now, for your motions on him have left him bewildered.

You’re careful to suck off of him cleanly, kissing the tip of his dick as you bat your eyes at him, “Are you alright?”

He’s smirking now, and a breathless laugh comes from his lips, “I think you’re well aware of how I’m doing.”

You giggle at his comment, kissing his dick again before resting your cheek upon his hip, “Then what is it?”

And with that same rather innocent, slightly humble look in his eye, he confesses, “I’ve always pictured being inside of you…the first time.”

In his earnest and rather proper way of explaining himself, you are simply taken over by your love for him.

He looks at you as if he is asking for the world but, little did he know- you would think nothing of giving him such a thing.

You’re kissing his hip now and starting a trail up his naked body. His hands come to life beside you and take their time caressing over your skin.

One last trail is place up the valley of his chest before your lips are hovering over his.

“Then be inside me.” You whisper into his mouth, sucking the bottom half of it into yours.

A deep growl resonates within his chest and, the next thing you know he is flipping you over, arms placed on either side of your head as he reconnects your lips.

Wildly, he kisses at you, allowing your tongues to intertwine in a somewhat disorganized fashion, neither of you concerned with rhythm at this point.

Yoongi is pulling away to take a look at you, silently reassuring himself that this beautiful creature below him, desires him too.

It’s slightly hard to wrap his brain around.

But as you raise your middle finger to the scar marring his right eye, you are breaking down the last of his concerns. He closes his lids beneath your touch, his chest tightening as you whisper,

“No more wounds, my love. I will make sure you feel only pleasure for the rest of your life.”

With a last and exasperated sigh, Yoongi guides himself inside of you in one quick motion.

“Oh-“ He breathes, his eyes widening as he chokes back a moan.

Your own moan is forced from your chest, Yoongi’s rhythm not giving you a chance to last very long.

He presses his forehead against yours, his mouth hanging open even as you kiss at it, hips quickening with each thrust inside of you.

“I love you.” You moan, whilst your hands come up to secure themselves behind his neck.

He is hurling towards his release so quickly, he fears the intensity of it, but the only thing he can tangibly focus on is confessing his love to you over and over.

“I will l-love you forever, it is a-all I will ever do for the rest of m-my life…”

Even as he stumbles over his words, his eyes never leave yours, pouring all of the emotion he feels into his movements.

He pours and he pours…

And you drink and you drink…

Until there is nothing left to do but surrender to one another.

The first rope of his release leaves his body with a jolt, his hips jerking forward and, immediately his eyes screw shut, his face burying into your neck.

You rub his back, kissing all along the side of his face as another hot spurt of cum leaves his cock.

“Oh Y/N…” He whines finally, sounding in pain and relieved all at once, “Y/N…Y/N…Y/N…”

He calls your name over and over and, somewhere along the edges of bliss, you tip over the edge too, digging your nails into his back as you do.

You seem to take turns saying the name of one another, the two of you riding out your highs for as long as possible until finally, your lover collapses on top of you.

In the stillness of the night, the only sound either of you allow is the rainfall atop the roof and, the whispering sound of your breathing.

For awhile, you just trace shapes into the skin of Yoongi’s back as his lips sponge into your neck and across your shoulder, or any part of you that he can reach. Moments later, his concern for his bodyweight upon you takes precedence and, he finally rolls over, the two of you wincing at the loss of contact.

You quickly take your place atop his chest as he leans over to the bedside table and, grabs the goblet of water waiting there. There was one on either side when you came in and, you assumed the staff had put them there.

Yoongi takes a deep breath and, attempts to steady his hand as he brings the goblet towards you but, to no avail.

His hand continues to shake.

Placing your hand around his, you try to assist him as a soft bout of laughter leaves your lips, “You’re trembling.”

And with waves of messy hair framing his beautiful face, he simply grins and corrects you, “I am in love.”

He raises the glass to your lips and, admires you when you take several big gulps, feeling good that he is able to take care of you.

His reply sends butterflies into your stomach, which seems like a rather impossible feat considering the fact that they had taken up a permanent residence there months ago.

When the Tiger moved into your life…

You usher the glass towards his lips with a soft smile, feeling so much happiness at the peace present in his eyes.

“As I’m I.” You whisper, rubbing your hand over his hip as he drinks the rest of the water in the goblet. There is also a sense of exhaustion in his gaze however and, you are met with the reminder that he probably hasn’t slept properly in months.

Your telepathy pays off once more as Yoongi addresses the heaviness upon his lids.

“I always pictured this to end with one of our elaborate existential conversations…” He chuckles softly, laying back on the pillow. Before he continues, he is reaching up to brush his thumb over your lips, “…but I do believe you’ve drained me of energy for now, my girl.”

A kiss is placed against his thumb, “Sleep now. We have plenty of time to question our existence.”

Yoongi chuckles again, using the hand that’s on your face to pull you closer to him. He kisses you one last time, ensuring that it reaches your soul before he’s puling you beneath the covers with him.

The last thing you remember before drifting off is another exchange of those three words.

The three words you would never grow tired of saying.

Yoongi sleeps well past sunrise. His chest rises steadily beneath your head for the better part of the morning and, although you want to wait it out, your desire to see the view from the balcony finally overtakes you.

You’re careful not to wake the sleeping man beneath you as you slip out of his grip. And as you’re pulling on the silk robe he had left discarded the night before, you take the time to admire him. Cheeks puffed out, lips pouted, brow smoothed over, none of his features containing a single ounce of worry…

You planned on keeping him this content for as long as you both shall live.

The mid-morning air was cold but, it felt nice upon your skin. Sleeping with Yoongi was new and, you now know that he emits as much body heat as a fully grown bear.

Or a Tiger…depending on who you ask…

This of course is wonderful, especially given how harsh winter can get but, you were growing quite warm beneath his arm.

The balcony was simple. It was painted the same color as the rest of the villa: a deep cherry red and, other than a few plants in the right corner, there was nothing else aside from the view.

Overlooking the grounds of the villa, the balcony displayed all of the elaborate architecture as well as the natural aspects of the grounds themselves. You set your eyes on the mountains to the left of you and, are overcome with excitement at the thought of them being covered in snow.

A hawk flies high above your head, his call echoing off every surface around of the villa, connecting the two of you for that single moment. As your eyes move to admire the thick expanse of trees before you, a pair of strong silk-covered arms wrap around your waist.

And normally, you would jump in surprise but, this time you don’t.

You could sense him staring at you for quite a while now but, rather than disturb him, you just let him have his moment.

Most of your moments would be spent staring at him if you had it your way.

“I had feared for a moment that I had only dreamt of you again…”

The tone of his morning voice is much deeper and covered in gravel, the sound sending a shiver through you. You lean back against him, lips curving up in a smile.

“We are finally alone, General Min.” You assure him softly, rubbing over his forearms. He kisses up your neck, causing your eyes to shut, just basking in the feeling of him.

Of the man you love.

“Well-“ And you can hear the grin in his voice, “Not completely alone.”

You open your eyes, confused by his response but as you try and look back at him, he is jerking his head towards the trees. At first you are confused by the amazed expression on his face but, when you see the mix of orange and black moving through the forest in the distance, you gasp in understanding.

“Is that?”

“A tiger?” He chuckles and when you look back once more, to confirm your suspicion, he winks at you, “It most certainly is.”

“Should we be worried?” You breathe, quite amazed yourself. The tiger doesn’t seem agitated from what you can tell, they merely move through the trees slowly- seemingly locked onto a destination.

“No, this one I have seen before.” He replies confidently, “They maintain their distance just fine…” Yoongi pauses for a moment and, then smiles to himself, “Unless of course, he falls in love…then we’ll never get him to leave.”

#bangtansorciere #yoongi #yoongi smut #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #daechitwa #daechitwa! Yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi fics #yoongi fanfics #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts fanfiction #bts fanfics

552 notes · View notes

oneoftheprettynerds · 4 years

Text

Worth The Eternity: Dark! Bucky x Reader (Vampire AU + Mob AU + Soulmate AU)

This is for @cherienymphe’s 5K Twilight Renaissance Writing Challenge. Congratulations, keep slaying! I wrote this instead of studying, so pray for my paper please lmao.

A/N: This tired girl tried.

WARNINGS: something between dubcon and noncon present. Triggering, darkish themes.

Summary of sorts: Ever seen Hotel Transylvania 1/2/3? In this AU, mythical creatures exist and have soulmates and you feel a zing if you are blessed enough to encounter them.

"Boss, we narrowed it down to these core three suspects.” A husky voice, slightly muffled by the sack on your head, entered your ears and you had a hard time being calm.

You had been picked up from your office, specifically the basement of Oscorp Industries while entering your sleek silver car. A pinch in your neck and everything comically blurred. Next thing you know, you are waking up with your entire body sore, your muscles and joints screaming and begging for freedom from tight restraints. Your vision is black, as if you are staring into an abyss and your vision is filled with white and red dancing spots forming patterns, maybe from the hours of inactivity.

Muffled noises of protest and scraping of metal against the concrete floor entered your ears and you realized you are not the only one here held captive. You racked your mind for possible explanations but couldn’t come up with one.

You lived a very simple life, even as the vice president of Oscorp industries. No messing around, no rivalries with other employees, no butting heads with the seniors on the Director’s board. Was this a ploy against the company? Or a domination statement against the weaker species, the humans?

Lucky enough for you, you realized you would soon find out as the sound of a shutter opening and metal clanking noisily filled your ears.

“Took you long enough, Scott. Fill me in.” Another brooding voice reprimanded jokingly and a million goosebumps traveled the path of your skin as you involuntarily shuddered.

“Yes Boss. We tracked the missing sum to the account of this man on the left. He has fourteen other accounts under different names and nationalities, pretty hard to trace but not impossible luckily. This proved he is shady so he’s most definitely involved.”

“This ginger on the right, he made the suspicious call with weird words so we believe he pretty much passed the verdict, calling the shots with the codewords. He has had several surgeries, his face is fucking silicon at this point but his DNA showed us his true identity, Mr. Rumlow here is the Consigliere of The Midnight Moon.”

You sat and listened, piecing together whatever you understood. The pack/mob name more than rung a bell, it scared you shitless. You were quick to catch on, realising that you were caught in an inter species scruffle.

“This shit just got interesting folks. Alright, where does Miss Sexy Legs fit in all this?”

The pencil skirt you wore wasn’t the most modest piece of clothing to exist and the spaghetti straps blouse was a bad choice considering the sheer coldness in this warehouse, the temperature only seemed to go down with the entry of your kidnappers but it’s not like you knew this was going to happen.

You could only assume with your legs on display that you were the one being sexualised and talked about.

“We are not sure about her though, that’s why I said suspects. We have proof the call was made from her phone but the videos show her lending it to a creepy stranger at a café. It might be really good acting but it’s highly unlikely. We brought her in because in the transfer of the stolen cash, her account was an intermediary but it’s a good chance that she was tricked when her phone was borrowed by Mr. Rumlow. Also, she’s a human, you see?”

If it was you being talked about, you felt a jot of relief, just a smudge because at least they were aware you weren’t involved in whatever game they were playing. That didn’t necessarily ensure your freedom, but hey, you were willing to take anything at that point.

“That’s the sweet fucking scent I keep on smelling!” The leader exclaimed as if he made a great discovery, a cure for a pandemic or cancer you’d think. His gruff voice almost had a light, cheery undertone to it, too unlike of a man who was wronged and cheated and was close to murdering someone no doubt. These mobsters are always maniacs like The Joker.

“It sucks that you brought her here. She might not be guilty, but now she knows too much. She’d make a good blood bag though. Maybe I’ll just have a taste, who knows?” The ‘boss’ made a disturbing slurping noise and your heart stopped at his words, a tear almost escaping your eye.

Discussion about drinking blood? You were most definitely in The Vamps territory, your assumption about the inter-species conflict true. You had no doubt you were the weakest in this creepy space, the frailest here, most probably the only human.

“Show me the bastards’ faces.” Like the flip of a switch, the joking man swapped his personality and all but growled. You heard the ripping of cloth and a man gagging, his shrieks muffled. Another flurry of movements and another man retching on the fabric could be heard.

“Well, hello Mr. Rumlow. I must say, brown suited you better.” A horde of chuckles made you widen your eyes, even though only black still filled your vision, as you realised there were at least a dozen twisted, sick men in the room. The fact that they were silent as fuck till now only showed you how disciplined and regimented these soldiers were.

“This one has a pretty face, boss.” You felt the sack ripped off you, and your eyes closed with the sudden flooding of the lights. Your eyes sealed due to hours of inactivity and you kept them shut, afraid to face your tormenter.

A cold hand cupped your cheek and straightened your face that was trying to hide itself in your silky locks by curling in your own neck, the cool metal of rings and insanely icy fingers chilling you literally.

“Open your eyes sweetheart.” A voice called out behind you and you gathered enough courage to face your impending doom, the air as silent as the calm before a storm.

Your orbs opened and gazed into piercing sapphire blue eyes and everything behind this chiseled face blurred. You could swear a ring of pink and red passed over his eyes and you shuddered again, getting overwhelmed due to the eye contact yourself. This wasn’t the usual anxiety you felt while meeting new people, it was somehow both a pull and a push. An inviting comforting pull and a terrifying, ‘stay cautious' push.

You, a self-sufficient woman, who had been independent for as long as you could remember, suddenly felt half; incomplete in a way that you couldn’t fathom. You felt an attraction, a tug towards the man in front of you, and the absurdity of the thoughts and emotions that popped in your brain made you heave on the gag.

Your intellect couldn’t find a reason, your view on love and romance until now completely conflicted. You believed soulmates to be separate pieces of art that complemented each other when together; then what was this broken jigsaw puzzle sentiment you were having now?

Your wide eyes somehow managed to break free of his stare, panicking and looking around to observe, which wasn’t comforting in the least as men with guns and gadgets filled your vision. You were relatively unharmed in comparison to the beaten lads beside you, one with a bruised face and the other with a bloody one.

The handsome man, the Boss’s stare didn’t leave you through the entirety of your searching around, you were sure they saw you as a scared little rabbit, waiting out its inevitable death.

“Lost in her eyes, Boss?” The sideman cracked what he believed to be the funniest joke in existence, earning laughs of the horde of the soldiers around.

Your eyes went to the Boss’s face, surprisingly when his left your face to glare a nasty stare on his trusted man. His muscular form raised the forelimb, his hand signaling to stop, that effectively quietened the room to a pin drop silence.

With gentle fingers, the man took off your gag and yours lips quivered, throat too dry to make a noise though. You greedily gulped the air through your mouth for whatever reason, maybe just to move your jaw after hours of inactivity.

Maintaining eye contact was challenging, arduous to say the least. It seemed as if he could read you, find everything about you there is to find by studying the flecks in your orbs. His delicate hands, loosened the ties and you were now more so confused, along with the trepidation.

Just what the fuck was going on?

Bucky had almost lost hope, centuries on this planet and no one to love and cherish, no personal confidante, no soulmate. But good things take time, right? And in his opinion, best things take an eternity. He knows this now.

Expect the unexpected was the truest phrase, idiom whatever it was, in this moment. He had spent countless nights wondering about his soulmate, was she pretty? Ugly? Was she even a she or not? Dumb or witty? He made a lot of scenarios of how they’d meet, the kids, reigning together. He entertained the idea of her being from a different species, a nymph, an orc, maybe a werewolf?

And now that he found her, it was a revelation, a surprise honestly. After all optimism got evaporated, after traveling the dark tunnel for centuries literally, there she was, his beacon of light. Finding her was a wonder, and her being a human was astonishing, a possibility he somehow failed to consider, but he was over the moon cause there she was, right in front of him now. A beautiful, stunning lady in flesh and blood, human flesh and blood, with the prettiest eyes he had ever seen. His zing.

He always liked humans, apart from the similar appearances the vampires shared with them, they were always docile and accommodating. In the last few millenniums, after the mythical creatures showed themselves to the world, the humans understood their place and tier pretty early.

They were smart to surrender and be peaceful as all the species came to light, clever to know that even with less numbers they could be overpowered and bloodshed was detrimental to all involved.

He knew he would convert you soon though, your lifespan far too short for his liking, and obviously, now that he found you, you were to rule together. For Centuries.

His happiness was over taken by the realisation that you were not in the most hospitable settings, you were tied and strapped, being preyed on by his men. He made quick work of the restraints, allowing you to breathe by loosening them first. Your scared, trembling form plucked his unbeating heart’s strings, but strangely enough, his brain found amusement and he felt smug. Seeing you tied up and trembling was definitely a turn on for him, noted.

After commanding his foolish men to stop giggling, he leaned closer to you, your aura comforting and intoxicating as he smelled your hair. A divine scent, an addictive one for sure. The goosebumps on your skin confirmed the reciprocation of his connection.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you.” His husky voice, calming but imposing resonated in your ears, his hand tapping your cheek on the other side. Even though the private statement was whispered for you, the deafening silence made every person witness it.

He leaned back, his hands behind his back as he grinned, tone again light like earlier and commanded, “Get her out of here and cleaned up, tell Nat and Wanda, they’ll know what I mean. Then we’ll deal with these guys here, after the lady leaves of course. No scratch on her from this point forward or you’ll lose a limb. Proceed.”

All three of you, the hostages were going to get ‘taken care of’ but in different ways.

It had been over twenty hours for sure, you were abducted in the early hours of the morning and now the moon was out again, like one endless night. You remember being escorted to a sleek black car; your limbs ached but you managed to keep up. You tried to keep up with the car’s turns, trying to memorize the streets but your head was pounding and eyes were blurry.

You remembered being led to a suite in an expensive hotel like ones where your conferences were held, being taken to room and given towels to clean up. You didn’t change the dress when given another, the attire being a summer dress even shorter. A woman came a while later named Wanda who checked the forming light contusions and scuffed skin with hands so delicate, as if you were precious cargo. You were, you just didn’t know.

You didn’t eat anything they provided and after hours of conspiring and overthinking, you heard sturdy footsteps. Since your arrival, only women bothered with you, probably the ones the leader sent. But these were heavier, harder.

The door opened and you glanced up to find the leader who demanded your locking up in this fancy place, his eyes travelling on your form sat up on bed, as you mindfully pulled your skirt down. You were anxious the entire day, dreading your future but nothing was like the restlessness that ran through you in this person’s presence.

Maybe it was the fact he was a vampire, or the leader of a Mob or maybe both, but whatever it was he intimidated you, alarmed you, even though you’ve had only two encounters including the present one. You were smart to be scared, he looked at you like, like you were something to eat, your mind told you.

“Hey.” His raspy voice caught you off guard, not having heard a single syllable out of the women the entire day, your questions being ignored the entire time.

You stared at him warily. Your mind having a myriad of emotions and thoughts. You didn’t want to trigger him, besides the place being armed well, he was a vampire, a beefy one at that and you would be stupid to try anything. Shouting and making a scene was no good either, your best option being the lamest one: to talk it out. You refused to become a willing blood bag.

You let out a long sigh, surprising him somehow, “Look, I have money, resources in the business sphere, information, what do you want? I know I got caught in this by accident, but I’m willing to do a lot of things to get out. Name it and I’ll do my best.” You said with your ‘business deal’ voice, the wise, guiding leader voice from your office.

For some reason though, the man found it hilarious. He slapped his hand on his chest, his boisterous laugh echoing. It wasn’t that good a joke if he believed it to be one. Men, ever so condescending.

“Humans, ever so gluttonous. I don’t want your money, precious.” His term of endearment didn’t fall short to your ears, but you had larger things in play here than a sweet nothing.

“I have other things to offer, name it.” Within your moral sphere, of course.

“You still don’t get it, do you? And you humans boast you have everything figured about us.”

He neared you and you leaned to the inner area of the bed, refusing to get cornered to the wall if things escalate and wanting to have the option of running away, probably in vain though. With each step he took, a new shudder ran through you because of the closing distance between your bodies, it getting triggered in unexplainable ways.

You didn’t need to say words to prompt him to explain, your scrunched eyebrows already doing that mission. “You should feel it too, you know? The goosebumps, the bewilderment in your insides, you’re intoxicated by my very presence too, aren’t you?”

The more he neared, your breaths quickened visibly, his words becoming truer. Your skin heating, mind losing a bit of consciousness. His presence didn’t affect you to this extent in the warehouse, but now? You were putty, almost incapable to think. You tried to roll over to the other side but your plan failed because he caged you with his bulky hands on your shoulder, body diagonal across yours. With how slow and out of it you were, he didn’t even need his heightened speed to trap you.

“Oh, it’s kicking in, isn’t it? The realization, the surge of love and lust? To be held and cherished and be full of me?” He smirked at your trembling form, your chest heaving and weak arms trying to push him off.

“I’ve read humans feel flushed, hot, so let’s get you out of these scraps, yes?” He slid off the thin straps while you mumbled a very unconvincing ‘stop’. Both actions were pretty pointless because he wouldn’t stop, you both knew that and also, he ended up taking the top off over your torso the normal way.

Your hands barely managed to land themselves on his wrist to pull them off, but the foolish limbs ravished in the feel of his cold skin instead. It was like a high you had never experienced and your body wanted more. It was already addicted to the feel of this stranger whose name you didn’t even know.

He unzipped the skirt, your pathetic body no longer even fighting him as he rambled on. “Among us vampires, well not much to tell but we’re all freezing cold when we find our ‘zing’. Like every normal day. Except for the inability to think and the need for their mate’s blood, of course.”

He came back up to kiss you, his body now in line with yours as one hand held your cheek and the other groped your breast. You had an out of body experience, feeling disgusted for reciprocating the kiss but also wanting more of that, more of him.

He trailed down your neck to your collarbone and you gasped for air, your thoughts incoherent. He kissed between the valley of your breasts, removing the bra sometime in between as you heaved. He wanted nothing more than to rest in those swells for an eternity.

As soon as cold air hit your nipples, one was being sucked while other was being pinched. The nameless stranger alternated between licking like a kitten and sucking like a baby on the breasts. Your rational part felt gross but the dominating side was the one experiencing delight.

He kissed down the sternum, to your bellybutton and then hovered above the thin, flimsy underwear. His hands slid down your sides, down the curve of your waist and hooked themselves at the cloth’s side, pulling them down in a swift motion.

Your legs quaked, trying to close themselves but one muscular arm on your thigh was able to hold them off, throw one away from the other. He leaned down and you were pathetically still under his muscles, your lower limbs either not daring to move or not wanting to.

You wrapped your hands around your torso to hide a bit of yourself, but did that really matter in the larger picture of the events unfolding right now?

You closed your eyes, tears already escaping since minutes ago as you tried to accept the reality of what was happening. A cold sensation on your little button caught you off guard; an infinitesimal fraction of time later, an inhale reached your ears.

You looked down, opening your eyes to find the man smelling you, his Grecian nose poking through your folds and taking in sniffs of your intimate part.

“Please sto-”

“The scent at its source, so fucking divine. I want a taste.” With that, your sentence got interrupted by his words and then by his action as his tongue licked away. It sucked on the bead, delving in the cavity there pretty fucking deep and he slurped away like he pretended to do when you were blindfolded.

Your back arched like a gymnast, hands that were folded across your chest clawing at your own skin, leaving marks behind. His hands were hooked around your thighs and they threw your legs on his shoulder some point in between. When he thrusted three fingers at once, an audible wheeze left your lips, your noiseless gasps now hoarse ‘Aah’s and you could feel him smirk.

There a also a lot of teeth involved with his razor sharp canines that appeared out of nowhere during this and when he thrusted his fingers particularly hard with his teeth nibbling on your sensitive bud, you shamelessly let go of the inside flow.

It felt humiliating and mortifying, your body glowing with the aftereffects of descending into bliss while your mind wanted to cry. Your soul was surprisingly content with what unfolded, at peace. You hated the diversity of emotions you felt, revolted to find even a bit of positive sentiment at your assaulter’s actions.

While your inner monologue happened, the man got up and out of his clothes painfully quick. You tried to sit your up, feebly trying to escape but ineffectively so. Your eyes couldn’t meet the handsome stranger’s nor did you want to see him naked and removed him form your eyeline, making you get caught off guard when his hands wrapped around your ankles and pulled you down, finishing the small distance you managed to crawl up.

His hands left their place as he kissed his way back up your flushed skin, from the swell of your ankle to the swell of your stomach. He licked away the drops of blood around the crescent scratches left by your nails under the intense ecstasy he forced upon you. Then he continued his journey from the swells of your chest to the swell of your cheek, taking you in a fiery, needy yet affectionate kiss.

Your surroundings blurred a second into the kiss, mouth and skin hungry for his touch alike. A thrust had you painfully gasp as you were stretched unlike ever before, impaled to a depth unlike ever before. He kissed away your tears that continued to spill on command of your ashamed mind and leaned back to look into your eyes, a pretty pink passing over them for a fleeting second.

His blue orbs bore into yours and you almost believed he loved you by the intensity of his gaze. At this moment in time, nothing but you two mattered, connected and finally together. How you got here didn’t matter, how unwilling you were didn’t matter. This felt right, felt necessary and was worthy of everything you went through. The rational part seemed to die the instant you two physically connected and somehow, everything and nothing made sense.

But you felt complete.

Your lips captured his of their own accord, and you both smiled into the caress of your lips while he began thrusting, one hand on your waist, the other supporting his weight. Out of breath, he leaned back, still thrusting though, and gazed at you. “Scott back there, he called you pretty, that’s practically an insult. The way you look right now, you’re much more than beautiful. You’re ethereal, my Zing, the loveliest in existence.”

His genuine words tugged at your heart. For some reason you believed him, had confidence in his feelings. Your foreheads connected as he quickened, his hand caressing your skin, the cool against your warm skin soothing. It didn’t take long for you to let go again this time; your previous resolution already dissolved. He neared your ears and whispered, “I want you to scream my name. It’s Bucky.” You nodded absentmindedly, chasing the high.

One particular thrust paired with his canines piercing your skin made you cry out “Bucky!” and you felt him smirking in your neck, lapping the blood. You wilted in bliss and your eyes closed, warmth filling you minutes after. Your eyes were dazed and you felt ‘Bucky’ shift, removing his towering frame from you, a goofy smile on the chiseled face.

With mind free of the aforementioned disapproving thoughts, you checked out his handsome face. It was like you saw him in an entirely different light now.

He gave you a quick peck, his hands cradling your face and he spoke with the utmost sincerity. “You are worth the wait, precious. No measure of time with you will be long enough. But we’ll start with forever to compensate. I’m never letting you go.”

579 notes · View notes

acourtofantumbra · 2 years

Text

Pulling at the Thread of the Day Court and the Dawn Court Pt.1 - Alchemy & Other Realms

☆ All SJM spoilers: ACOTAR, CC, and TOG ☆

I might be putting this insanity out into the tumblr wilds, but trust that I do not think anyone would ever care to read something this long. Idk if my college thesis was this long. This is a literal invitation into how my neurodivergent brain works. Expect real a to b to q to wow we've just fully veered off the road... where are we even going? energy. If you get tired along the way — yeah, trust me that's normal.

So, I'm doing my first re-read of ACOTAR!! Tbh during the first go around I struggled with the OG trio (I DNFed ACOFAS multiple times lol) and it's been well over a year since I've read them. But recently, I binged every other SJM book/series. So during my messy reread I've been picking up on a lot. And enjoying it more! But there were two fleeting moments from ACOMAF & ACOWAR that caught my eye and led me down what will become (maybe) the longest fucking theory spiral. Like multi part...

Honestly? It's been so fun. My job is very soul sucking.

In short — nothing about this will be short lol — the thread I followed brought me to Helion, his Day Court, and weird connections to both the Thesan/the Dawn Court and one of ACOTAR’s many unexplored Faerie Realms. And some realms not in ACOTAR. I also take a look at both Helion and Thesan’s powers (as well as some others) that have me questioning... some unexplored "magic" from multiple worlds. Happy to call all of it crack theory, but I will be citing as much canon as tumblr's image limit allows. This is gonna be a long and winding road!

I always add books and page numbers (and try to add any other relevant citations) to the visuals/sources I use, so check those out if you need some extra info!

Color Key: spoilers, notes from me 2 u, important, important + links, mentioned later in the post, mentioned in another post of mine or in a future post

Day Court Powers and Dawn Court Powers

Alright, so the moment that caused me to spiral was a snipe from Lucien in Chapter 11 of ACOWAR. Feyre’s plan to GTFO of the Spring Court is fully in motion, but she's freaking out about Hybern weaponizing faebane. Breezing past that, Lucien confronts her about being a big ol’ liar whilst reminding her that he has other friends, ok?

So, two things: I was trying to remember who Lucien’s friend was and thought, Oh right, the ‘Master Tinkerer.’ The friend that made Lucien’s golden eye, which is itself magical.

But then I got caught up in a different question... Like hold up, what healing powers did Feyre use in this moment he’s talking about?

Because that's the main power of the Dawn Court that's canon thus far. Especially because Lucien is pointing out that his friend’s light and Feyre’s light comes from “the same power,” which he seems to know intimately, and their “light is identical.” At first, I was just confused because who is this non-High Lord person with High Lord power? And are we all cool with that or...?

So I flip back to ACOMAF to remind myself wtf we’re talking about here… which of Thesan’s — or the Dawn Court’s — powers did Feyre use in the Hybern/Cauldron event at the end of the book? A display noticeable enough that Lucien clocked Feyre's light looking familiar — perhaps because his mechanical/magical eye might have related functions.

As it turns out we're not talking about Thesan’s powers at all… we’re talking about Helion’s powers. Which might be why Lucien is intimately familiar with how the power works — for wholly different reasons... like having inherited Helion’s powers himself.

So Feyre breaks through Hybern's wards so she can get her sisters and IC out and reestablishes her bond speaking with Rhys, but notably she still can't feel the bond with Hybern's spell crushing down on it. But she pretends she's broken the "curse" Rhys has put on her to make her like him more than Tamlin...

Tamlin... my dude... no...

And while Feyre gave an Oscar worthy performance convincing everyone that her very nice Night Husband was evil the whole time, Lucien is suspicious as hell... and so is his eye.

Lucien knew Feyre was full of shit and with “centuries of cultivated reason” he might know about some other lies *cough* who his real dad is *cough*. But his mating bond with Elain has freshly snapped into place… so his priorities shifted, one could say, and doesn’t call Feyre out.

Ok, so where are we now?

Feyre used Helion’s Day Court power - his light and his cursebreaking/spellbreaking to take down Hybern’s wards so the Night Court could get her recently Made sisters out of dodge. Lucien clocks this because he has a friend in the Dawn Court with the same abilities and the same light and also maybe because he personally knew Papa Helion’s powers were being used.

Here's a post from whitewolf-ofdoranelle: detailing some evidence about Lucien maybe knowing the truth about Helion and his powers.

About Light in the SJM Multiverse:

It's becoming more important by the second!

We have many different shades that seemingly allude to overarching people/powers/plots. Most of the time when we encounter characters using or emitting light, they/we don’t exactly know where it comes from or how it works. Which is why so much of the understanding re: our shining characters is still just speculation at this point.

But we know it's for sure important with the introduction of the Starborn Line in Crescent City and the lore that connects Midgard and Prythian (tho the stories are not identical... someone is lyinggg). We’re building that knowledge more extensively as the multiverse comes into play.

For example, when Feyre glows after the mate-a-thon with Rhysand in the mountain cabin she wonders what court's light is turning her into a 100 watt bulb...

It very well might be a different light! Helion's light has been described as healing! Of all the glowy boys — Thesan is actually the glowiest and the brightest! Are they different? Are they the same? I really don't know!!! And I'm sorry if I've made you more confused now too. Tho I do delve into Thesan more towards the end.

A thought I've had re: Helion's kind of light (I'll get more into in another post) has everything to do with Pelias... and Helion's sensitivity to the Dread Trove.

In ACOSF, Helion has to have the IC cover the mask and physically remove himself from the area... no one else has this sensitivity (at least to this extreme) and all Helion has to say for himself is this:

It's worth noting that in Midgard they don't seem to have the same distinctions regarding light powers. Like... everyone who glows (minus Hunt) is Starborn?

In Prythian we have Dawn Court light, Day Court light, Night Court shadows and perhaps this (to borrow the Midgard term) Starborn light. Pelias, the controversial figure in the lore connecting P + M in the King Fionn and Theia story, is said to be a Starborn prince. But at every turn the Princes of Hel are quick to point out that Pelias' power and his light are nothing like Theia's — who is, by their claim, the true Starborn power holder — and her daughters'. They also say Theia's daughters have starborn and shadow gifts, but that isn't necessarily part of Pelias' skill set either... I'm lookin' at you Aidas.

Anyway, I've toyed with the idea that perhaps Pelias' light powers, because Midgard lacks the distinction between light powers, could be Day Court-like. And it would make sense that the Dread Trove would ward against anyone in that lineage considering "Pelias wielded [Luna's] Horn until he died" (HOEB). JUST SOME THOUGHTS.

Check out this absolutely incredible (a comprehensive) theory post from @wingedblooms about the different kinds of light in the SJM Multiverse

But back to Lucien’s friend who has Day Court powers… who is she?

It’s Nuan! A character I was like, "She seems cool, can’t wait to get to know her.”

And then ACOWAR ended and we never heard from her again... womp. But, some might call this a loose end.

It's me. I'm calling it that.

Considering she played a big role in Lucien’s life (a former main-ish character with nothing but loose ends), provided critical help to win the war against Hybern, has a suspicious amount of power, technical skills, and connection to distant faerie realms we still know frustratingly little about… Nuan has nothing but potential! Welp, let’s get into it.

So remember how Feyre is like “What if everything I eat has faebane in it, wow that’s suddenly a huge problem for us right now on the verge of war?” And then Lucien is like, “You have my friend’s powers, you liar?” Coincidental? Cool.

When Nuan is finally introduced by name, she's shown up at the tensest High Lord meeting ever at the Dawn Court. Why? She wants to let everyone know she invented a cure for that pesky Faebane. Helpful!

There is a metric ton stuffed into her introduction and it's hard to even know where to begin, but I'll try.

Just know the “she looks kind of like Amren thing” is incredibly specific and out of nowhere.

Whenever SJM throws in an “oh, I just kinda thought that… strange” and “oh hm maybe i saw that person glowing like a 60 watt bulb but maybe not” etc etc etc… statements, they are always important. There are more of those moments to come and every series by her is full of these.

Anyway, ACOTAR has had 5 books (4 novels, one novella) and this comparison to Nuan is among one of the more specific pieces of the “who and what is Amren” puzzle we get. We’ll get to it, but we’ve got a mountain the size of Ramiel to dig through first.

Back to the Dawn Court scene: Being his usual discriminatory self, Beron aka the High Lord of Autumn is suspicious of Nuan’s miracle cure for faebane for because he's an asshole and a xenaphobe — we’ll come back to this. But she counters with her own commitment to protecting the fae from being poisoned and powerless. Go Nuan! It also seems like she's a very dedicated scientist, but that behind this science there is also magic. Makes sense when you consider the whole magical appendages gig she has!

Nuan monologues about the Mother aka higher power/god/[insert mystical lore here] situation who is suspect #1 in the whole “what are the gods?” conversation. The gods, etc. are known lore — which exists in different forms ACOTAR, TOG, and CC — and they're complicated enough to warrant their own massive post.

Anyway, Nuan explains that the Mother provides “everything we need on this earth.” Nuan simply needed to find what the Mother has provided Prythian to stop Hybern from “wiping out” their powers. Considering she applied this logic and it worked… seems legit... and important?

So yes, the way she phrased her scientific method struck me... and left me with so many more questions than I started with. Like what did you use and how did you do it and where did you find it??? What do you mean this earth?! I could keep going!!!!

However, her antidote can’t protect fae entirely because physical objects made from faebane will still have dangerous effects. Sounds like her compound is able to… dare I say… break the curse or spell of faebane? But if the physical object that makes fae vulnerable comes barreling at them… well that’s a whole different story. Kind of like how from the first scene I mentioned: Feyre could break the wards and the spell silencing her mating bond with Rhys, but she still couldn’t feel any of the physical effects of the bond with Hybern’s spell shutting her down.

Nuan, it seems, not only has Day Court-like powers as a person whose family isn’t from Prythian, or the Solar Courts, she can transform magic/power into physical objects - magical mechanical body parts and medicines, for ex. Kind of like less spooky Nesta sword versions of Made objects?

But this is apt considering she’s not just a tinkerer (a word that will always make me lol), but Thesan introduces her as an alchemist.

Let's talk about alchemy, baby

So let’s take an unplanned detour off the cliff of what tf is alchemy? VERY COMPLICATED is what it is! You may wonder where the heck are I'm going with this... patience my friend. Possibly somewhere... maybe nowhere... idk. Look, I said this would be long.

I promise we'll delve into actual historical contexts, but I'm gonna be real with you... I'm not a scholar, or a philosopher, or an archaeologist, or a theologian, or a chemist, or an anthropologist. I took courses on these subjects, but I just enjoy learning about this stuff/consuming content about it. Alchemy is very mysterious, very "lost to time," so it's hard to get it right. And just to keep it 100... my deepest and longest exposure to alchemy comes from a beloved manga and anime series. If you're like... "yup, absolutely not." Skip the rest of this post if you'd like... or skip ahead. To both fandoms... I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do. lol.

Alright, raise your hand if you too love the manga and anime series Full Metal Alchemist… If you’re not raising your hand, I highly recommend giving it a whirl. And maybe don't ruin it by reading any of this. If you think Kingdom of Ash has insane world building culminations and… pain... yeah FMA has that and emotional pain I’ve never healed from. *sobs* 10/10

Much like SJM and her use of universal mystical concepts and traditions, FMA also references much of the real history of alchemy and, by association, incredibly complex mystic religious principles. And what would ya know? Turns out FMA is a super helpful tool to explain/understand this very difficult subject.

So let’s take a quick look at the main character in FMA…

That’s Edward. He’s a rascal. He’s also an incredible alchemist who’s able to transmute — woefully basic explanation: turn objects from their original form into something else through the law of equal exchange — without a transmutation circle. That's a rarity among even the greatest alchemists. Because he can do this, at age 12, he becomes the youngest State Alchemist (he works for the government begrudgingly). Though, in the image above, that's Ed with a transmutation circle and hm... is that a star shaped rune? I digress.

You might ask... where is there an instance of a "law of equal exchange" in SJM's worlds? It might not be a perfect parallel, but... there's definitely something going on with give and take regarding magic. And that has major implications re: how much magic each world has (and how much the Asteri need to consume/wreck worlds for). I'm a broken record but... that perhaps will be its own post one day.

When Nuan talks about the Mother providing what that world needs... I feel like we're touching on something here. And as an alchemist, her work would be centered around this law of balance. Of course, we get absolutely no details from SJM.

But let's look at something we've encountered a bit more, like the Great Rite. Note: not my favorite magic tradition in these worlds... But it keeps coming up, especially where characters with mysterious pasts are concerned.

I've also made a post tying it in with Hunt from Crescent City and... idk... once I saw it, I can't unsee it.

First off, Lucien shakes off shadow hands multiple times talking about the Great Rite... please take note of that for a point below.

But we get reference of a tradition that must occur every year for their magic's cosmic "give-and-take." Sounds equal exchange-like.

High Lord becomes the Hunter (Hunt... is that you?) who needs to find the Maiden (Bryce is this what you guys are doing?) selected by the magic. Then they "couple" *sigh* and generate magic that's released back to the earth and all is well and magical for the coming year. Sure.

The Maiden has come up countless time in the references to the triunity or triple goddesses throughout ACOTAR, CC, and TOG (Also long and complicated - I am 100% doing a post on this). Short version: the triple goddess = mother, maiden, and the crone. Three-faced goddess. All the moon goddesses implicated. Witches and their goddesses... Persephone-like characters... etc. etc. etc. I'll get into it another time... this is my super bowl. But the Maiden has everything to do with the Mother and vice-versa, just as Nuan pointed out in her assessment of balance and magic within this world.

Outside of the Great Rite's Hunter and the Maiden ritual, Lucien says the rest of court takes a part in the night, "though it’s not the Great Rite, our own dalliances tonight will help the land, too" (ACOTAR, Chapter 21). Energy spent becomes energy reaped... even if they don't get the ritualistic title. Is this reminding you of science class and the first law of thermal dynamics: energy can't be created or destroyed it can only be transformed? It should.

It's notable that every Court has a Great Rite they must comply with to power the magic of the land, though we're only familiar with the Spring Court's Calanmai tradition. But in ACOSF, Gwyn mentions multiple times that when females "come of age" they can, and seem to be expected to, participate in the Rite. And we all know rituals with titles and milestones have never gone wrong for anyone... *stares in Crescent City* (The Drop). But also, we're seeing instances in both CC and ACOTAR where magic is waning... like the balance is off. Rhys tells Feyre that Starfall souls are less plentiful and well... we know the Asteri are over indulging in first light. Essentially, exchanges are not equal and there are traditions in place to keep them that way! What's changing? What does this mean?

The TikToker ahappyhermit posted her first podcast episode about Starfall and the dwindling souls and it's awesome. She's also got a lovely reading voice!

Back to FMA, transmutation boiled down also feels suspiciously similar to Aelin and co. drawing their wyrdmarks... something many SJM theories speculate will make a big return come CC3/ACOTAR5.

Alchemists even wear objects (clothes? yup! prosthesis? yup! fake eyes... eye patches? yup!) or have tattoos (Aelin and Bryce's world walking tats? TOG witches w/ the Eye of the Goddess tats?) with transmutation runes to help them attempt to do what Ed can do — transmute without crouching down and drawing out a rune.

In an attempt to try and spare you the full rundown of the science and magic of both alchemy and the world of FMA... there's gonna be metric tons of nuance I'm leaving out. The FMA fandom are effectively scholars at this point and I just want you ALL to know I know I'm watering some of this down.

Why can Ed transmute without a circle? It's really complicated, and important, but I'll do my best to summarize. First, it helps that, like Nuan, he has a metal arm - in FMA it's called automail, it's as complex as we've come to know Nuan's work is (albeit a little less magical), and basically he can do science faster/easier with it (I'm so sorry this would simply take too long to explain). And because *giant and complete FMA spoiler alerts across the board - like seriously I'm going to discuss all of the big reveals* he does some majorly taboo alchemy — resurrection of human life — that takes his leg and arm (and his brother's entire body, but not his soul leaving him as animated armor). Performing the taboo human transmutation opens a portal to the Gate of Truth. It opens, revealing a dimension of information which manifests as a shadowy void with several shadow-like hands coming out of it and a single large eye within. And this isn't just pure FMA canon, it draws inspiration from the lore of the Tree of Life.

Shadowy hands and something with a big eye watching you in a knowledge void? Hm... Let us turn to Nesta spiraling out and falling down the House of Wind steps and into her Making memories from the Cauldron. This does not include the MANY times characters, from multiple worlds, mention feeling shadowy hands (*wink* Dorian), but we saw examples with Lucien above.

The Cauldron kind of sounds like a big eye in a shadowy void that is perhaps a different dimension stacked with information, huh?

And what happens after Nesta's spiral? She comes to and realizes she's sparked and embedded her hand, and then handprint, in stone... which is also glowing.

Did anyone else find this moment/detail weird when they were reading? Cassian found it super weird!

Back to Edward, at the Gate of Truth, he meets a god, Truth. It's a whole thing. Insanely long story short, by reaching the Gate, Edward sees into the void that holds the truth of the universe. This allows him to bypasses the need to draw runes and instead channels the energy of alchemy/all the nature bending stuff he does by his own will.

Effectively, Ed seeing beyond the Gate allows him to break the rules of nature and freely wield a "different magic".

Interesting, because what Nesta has taken from the Cauldron seems to allow her to bypass the natural order of things too. No markings or weapons needed.

Throughout the series some (Illyrians) call Nesta a witch and refer to her different, powerful magic as unnatural. In fact, even the other magical beings of Prythian do not get her magic.

Hypothetically, and just pretend with me, Nesta could (she gave it back) do a kind of alchemy without the limits of nature/the laws of Prythian because she she took too much from the Cauldron/void of truth... it stands to reason that, much like using the wyrdmarks in TOG, that alchemists like Nuan are tapping into something totally different magic-wise. Like most High Fae have some magical capabilities, but the High Lords are usually the ones with the more robust skillset. Alchemy might be this secret link to why characters — multiple groups of high skilled/non royal fae/even humans in TOG — can display huge power... as well as create objects with incredible abilities like arms and eyes... and... Prythian iPods?

Helion might not have tinkerers like Thesan, but he does have piles of libraries and scholars... oh ya you can be I will be doing a post just on libraries.

Anyway so we've got some suspicious powers around, suspicious magic objects created for other purposes originally, and magical objects like body parts and medicinal powders. We've got multiple instances across worlds that implicate magic and cosmic balance... specifically that balance being off now.

Especially with magic being targeted (First and Second Light in HSOAB) as a deity food source - I think correcting the broken state of magic with alchemy could very well become... something. And I explain below an instance we already have seen where non-magical magic does just this in the SJM multiverse.

But in the next part of this theory spiral this connects (perhaps!) to Nesta and the Cauldron/Gate of Truth concept I outlined. Specifically, alchemists who see it and come back have taken too much from it. It comes at a great personal cost, but they have superior nature-bending abilities. The "great personal cost" thing is a TOG quote... just btw. Spoiler alert: witch mirrors

Ok, I promise just a few more comps using FMA and we'll move this train right along...

Finally, in FMA and alchemy seven is also big number and I get into some other instances in the real history below. There are seven Homunculi, beings with tremendous power who have their own agenda with a much bigger scope than what's happening on this sole planet/realm. And actually, there's a secret eighth Homunculus that's been hiding in plain sight for the whole show (like a secret 8th court?)... and ends up being the creator of the other homunculi... as well as being Ed & Al's dad (like said secret court being an origin point for all our favorite fae?). What is a homunculus? It refers to the medieval legendary concept of a being Made and brought into existence by certain means of alchemy and it requires the Philosopher's Stone (too complicated to even get into, but it comes up again in my Pt. II post). Also fun fact: in FMA, Homunculi all carry the mark of the Ouroboros... like that (witch) mirror in ACOTAR that people have been mighty suspicious of.

The Homunculi are aptly named after the seven deadly sins - pride, envy, lust, wrath, greed, sloth, and gluttony. Makes you think... Asteri are pretty gluttonous... Valg? Princes of the Pit? Angels? Scions? Some High Lords? Nesta? IDK?! Anyway, the Homunculi begin as villains and some change their allegiance along the way. But not all not all of them are inherently evil. Despite looking like the human characters/beings in FMA, "Homunculi are still aberrations of nature created by violating the laws of the natural universe, and as such, have no souls." It's complicated, but they're incapable of accessing the Gate of Truth or regular alchemic (read: magic) powers, because they lack souls. Some weird Valgy/TOG god/Asteri/can't get through a damn portal parallels, no?

Ok, that was still SO long, and I'm just gonna leave these many kernels of thought I have failed to really wrap up here... whilst staring into my own void... and catalog of all the characters and beings we've run into described as something else or Made or bred. I will spare you from the whole chimera conversation... FOR NOW... but I'm looking at all of the spooky murder pets our heroes have fought off... and truly every Asteri "experiment" being. Just know that.

Has Sarah watched this show? Dude, I don't know. But I do know that we both entered the world of fantasy via Sailor Moon. According to this post she even wrote wildly popular Sailor Moon fanfiction. So she has watched and loved at least one anime. FMA is wildly popular, has a rich fantasy plot that's a masterclass in world building with brilliantly researched foundations in global mystical traditions, and it's penned by a woman! So, no, I'm not 100% convinced she hasn't.

So, is alchemy real? Kind of...

OK, I swear I'll focus now. So alchemy! There was a time when people believed it was real (from the ancient past to Isaac Newton who wrote a lot about alchemy and very real science). The way I have come to understand it, alchemy exists within the crossroads of science and mythology. It's even been considered a kind of witchcraft or spellwork. However, alchemy did either lead to, or exist along side, many important scientific laws and discoveries we still hold as truths/are taught today.

So... witchcraft, eh? We've had allusions to witches in ACOTAR, but we seem to be lacking the noted presence of such beings like we've seen in CC and TOG (though we still don't fully understand their powers across the board)... unless they're hiding in plain sight dressed as something else?

Interesting... no? I am far from the first to suggest the Made Archerons are witches (and Pt. II will have more witch talk and citations to great theory posts I didn't write). But hey, they could be alchemists too...

We know from Nesta's perspective in ACOSF that she absolutely took more than she should have from the Cauldron and she is using/making tools (read: swords) right and left. Plus, Mor's description sounds suspiciously like alchemy that's... gone rogue or without equal exchange. Also, more simply, everyone calls Nesta a witch (specifically the Illyrians) and she's cool with it. But that's could be because she revels in being scary and we love her for it.

Alchemy as word reveals much about it. Like most terms that have an "al" to start (algebra, algorithm, alfalfa, alcohol, almanac...) is an Arabic syllable for “the,” and we see it show up in the language of math and science.

"Alchemy was rooted in a complex spiritual worldview in which everything around us contains a sort of universal spirit, and metals were believed not only to be alive but also to grow inside the Earth... Historian Nevill Drury, in his book "Magic and Witchcraft," notes that, "The word alchemy is thought to derive from an Egyptian word, 'chem' or 'qem,' meaning black — a reference to the black alluvial soils bordering the Nile ... We know that the Greek word 'chyma,' meaning to fuse or cast metals, established itself in Arabic as 'al kimia' — from which alchemy is derived." Live Science

"Alchemists attempted to purify, mature, and perfect certain materials. Common aims were chrysopoeia, the transmutation of "base metals" (e.g., lead) into "noble metals" (particularly gold); the creation of an elixir of immortality... The perfection of the human body and soul was thought to result from the alchemical magnum opus ("Great Work"). The concept of creating the philosophers' stone was variously connected with all of these projects." Wikipedia

There's a lot going on there, but we're speeding right along. You can ask questions at the end of class. No, seriously ask them because I'm probably not gonna dig that deep here.

Alchemy has roots in many different ancient places and sprung up independently of one another.

"[There were] at least three major strands, which appear to be mostly independent, at least in their earlier stages: Chinese alchemy, centered in China; Indian alchemy, centered on the Indian subcontinent; and Western alchemy, which occurred around the Mediterranean and whose center has shifted over the millennia from Greco-Roman Egypt to the Islamic world, and finally medieval Europe." Wikipedia

As it turns out, Sarah and alchemy have a lot in common — they love mixing a matching the myth of many places into one magical tangle. There's a lot to unpack there and I wont get to all of it here... but I will try to eventually. One thing I will definitely touch on in another post is alchemy's connection to the God Hermes who keeps coming up in my research — he has many powers, but notably he's a world walker.

So from the quote above I'm gonna dive into connections with what we know about elemental fae magic, then we get back to Nuan and Alchemy's far reaching geographic history, and how that brings us to major questions marks around Helion and Thesan and their Courts.

Elemental Fae Magic vs Alchemy

So we don't know everything about elemental fae magic across worlds, but from the recent books and leading plots... we get a ton of focus on weapons (swords) being the biggest world connections (CC 3), Nesta forging narban blades, and Rhys explaining finally what this world is and what magic/fae used to be like.

Something new, eh? Something different?

As the LiveScience quote above points out, alchemy is magical, scientific, but it's also deeply connected to the Earth and laws of the universe. So elements play a big role and, you guessed it, we get the number 7 again (if you don't get why I keep referencing 7 I encourage you to take note every time the number 7 comes up in TOG, ACOTAR, CC because it's near constant):

"The elemental system used in medieval alchemy... consisted of seven elements, which included the five classical elements (aether, air, earth, fire, and water) in addition to two chemical elements representing the metals." Wikipedia

If you're unfamiliar with the concept of aether, here's an incredibly rushed explanation that's still somehow too long:

Aether has roots dating back to ancient Greece and means, "in Homeric Greek, 'pure, fresh air' or 'clear sky'. In Greek mythology, it was thought to be the pure essence that the gods breathed, filling the space where they lived, analogous to the air breathed by mortals. It is also personified as a deity, Aether, who is at times relates to Chronus, Erebus, Nyx, Chaos and Hemera (this is its own post) in traditional Greek mythology. Aether is related to αἴθω 'to incinerate', and intransitive 'to burn, to shine'."

Traditionally there are 4 elements - air, earth, fire, water. But in the Medieval Age (read: alchemy time), scientists concluded there was a 5th element. Aether was considered the material that fills the region of the universe beyond the terrestrial sphere. Unlike the four terrestrial elements that were subject to change and moved linearly, aether was a celestial element that moved circularly and had none of the qualities the terrestrial classical elements. Aether also is tied in quite often with light. And this is significant because light is notably how scientists (have — some theories since disproven — and currently do) measure distance and travel within space.

I find aether particularly interesting because, within the SJM multiverse, we have seen magic wielders display powers that would fall within the terrestrial elements (ex. Autumn Court's fire powers, Rowan's/Whitehorns' wind powers, House of Many Waters & Aelin's mom's water powers, etc.). But then we have these outliers whose powers work a little differently... perhaps more powerfully... specifically when we're talking about light and shadow. And with the allusions to burning, shining, and breath... we've got a lot of interesting Starborn connections. Also... travel within non-terrestrial spaces??? Come on now!

Back to Elemental Fae

In the ACOSF passage above, Rhys explains that Prythian Fae magic used to be more elemental — like the elements above. He also says their kind of magic could forge great weapons, just like Nesta who creates her narban blades... and a reminder that there are the 5 discussed elements and also 2 metals (we wont get into specifics here, but just... metals ok?) to create the 7 alchemic elements.

Tons here to analyze but take a look at TikToker chemicalrosie killing it on the analysis of elemental fae magic, weapons, and connections across the SJM worlds. She does most of the heavy lifting on this point (thanks Rosie).

In Crescent City we get more hints of elemental fae magic. In fact the Houses themselves seemingly represent these elements: House of Sky and Breath (aether? Also potentially air?), House of Earth and Blood (earth), House of Many Waters (water), House of Flame and Shadow (fire... also aether?). Under the House of Sky and Breath there are even beings called "Elementals," though we don't exactly know what an elemental is yet because their mentions are limited. Am I screaming "alchemists" into the void? Sure am. If they were elemental fae... wouldn't they just be called fae??? We do know they belong in the same House as angels, fae, and those blessed by major gods (which we know can give a magical or non magical being gifts of varying levels from TOG).

We also get mention of an Elemental War, which Lehaba mentions a distant relative sprite being involved in. Though that is sort of the extent of what we know about it (unless I'm wrong and feel free to tell me I'm wrong always).

We also get another depiction of elemental fae magic forging a weapon (refer back to that TikTok above if you want to delve into who this is and what it depicts in the multiverse).

So we're not gonna get too much deeper into elemental fae magic (tho let me know if you want further digging on this because my unhinged brain knows no bounds), but let me sketch my overarching point with this.

We have multiple points of reference within the SJM Multiverse where elemental magic and its noted difference to starborn/aether-like magic is being woven into this bigger world-spanning plot. Obviously, I referenced CC and ACOTAR here, but I could have dumped a ton of TOG references in here too (and will... later!).

We also have a multiverse with magic that seems... out of balance. We do not not know why all of these element-related mentions have been baked into the plot here and there. What was the Elemental War and why are magic abilities so different among Fae at the very least — and why are they different than they were before?

We also have metal/Made/superior substance swords linking our multiverse and being forged despite that not happening in a very long time. But now that Nesta has relinquished her stolen power back to the Cauldron... and we've got a world walker stuck in Prythian who may want to leave with one more sword than she landed with... seems like special weapon forging might be a useful skill. If only there was someone who could make magical metal objects without the powers of some spooky void or magical land decree...

Oh wait... we do have that person. And perhaps she also has a whole team of alchemists like her.

That's right folks... the last part... of this first part...

Back to Nuan and Other Faerie Realms

Oh my god this is so long. If you're still reading... I think we're officially betrothed? Idk. I love you.

Ok, so Nuan is described to us as so unique looking (look, I am not saying this is a great moment from SJM) she can only compare her to Amren... a [we have no idea but lots of speculation] being from another world.

Then we get a stark moment of xenophobia from Beron during the Dawn Court-High Lords meeting... because Nuan's parents are from a Fae realm called Xian. Xian is a faerie territory located somewhere in the Continent (I will speculate a ton below) that notably supported the loyalists during the war that resulted in the wall between the mortal lands and the fae realm. That means Xian was pro human slavery and that they ultimately lost. Nuan follows this up by reminding High Lord Asshat that she is as Prythian as his sons (let's go girl).

Beron's outburst also causes Thesan to jump to her defense because (that's his girl) his mom was from Xian... actually the majority of his court is from Xian?

ALRIGHTY THEN! Where to start?

So first off, just extrapolating from what we get in this exchange re: Xian... a place like most places SJM has not explained at all to us in that we know almost nada about it. If Xian supported the loyalists... and then they lost... and then a bunch of fae relocated to the Dawn Court in search of "a better life," we might (read: I do) assume that this was a territory south of the wall. Faeries, after the war, were not allowed to stay in the southern part of the continent.

Why do I find this interesting? Why have I spent 800 years getting to this point about an alchemist from Xian? Why do I even think alchemy is worth spending this much time thinking about when this is the only time we encounter it in ACOTAR?

Well, because it's not the only time we encounter it in the SJM multiverse.

So, in TOG, there are alchemists on the Southern continent who provide really important firelances to Aelin & co.'s fight against the Valg. A magical, very effective weapon that non-magical beings can use... and it's so impressive Aelin is relieved that her waning fire magic will be supported by such... firepower.

You know what else conveniently pops on the Southern continent in TOG? Healers and their Torre Cesme... Yrene Towers ilu. Isn't it just so coincidental that the Dawn Court's powers just so happen to be healing powers? And that in the TOG world there's an entire Fae healer community that relocated to the Southern Continent, bred healing powers into the mortal population, and then just... disappears? And also like are dead in crypts that are unbreakable for Valg related reasons, but I digress.

And something else that's fun is that Thesan and Nuan aren't even the only characters in that scene to get a cryptic allusion to a familiar sounding Southern continent that is notably... not one we've met via ACOTAR.

When Feyre describes Helion (it always comes back to him doesn't it?) in, yes, that meeting of the High Lords at the Dawn Court... I swear to all these freaking gods I didn't plan this! Anyway, she "all the sudden for some weird reason" starts thinking about a place her dad (feeling like I have to do a deep dive on Papa Archeron because the more I research not looking for him the more he pops up) visited as a merchant — south-eastern kingdom that sounds suspiciously Antica from Tower of Dawn. And we know when she thinks fondly of her father's merchant days she also always brings up spices... so there's that. (worth noting that this scene with Helion is BIG in my pt. 2 post)

So, obviously we get allusions to actual empires/places within these "different realms" in the SJM multiverse. Xi'an is the name of a real province in China (and has gifted the world so much food-wise and i'm sure countless other ways but I wont rest until I have cuminy lamby noodles asap) and the Khagnate/Southern Continent of the TOG world draws inspiration from the Mongol Empire (how I feel about SJM's... useage of these empires is it's own separate convo). It also includes a lot of the territories where alchemy sprung up independently and thrived that I mentioned before.

Sadly I'm out of images I can post (holy crap), so just... google it

Cool so we've got a lot of relevant territories covered here re: their SJM multiverse parallel.

Obviously Amren is the mystery that keeps giving and tons of people have their theories about her... and I guess SJM at one point said she's some kind of archangel... personally? IDK! Do I think it's strange, in my untangling of this curious maybe from another world territory population, that Amren... a being we know is from another world chose a Xian fae body? Yup! Especially because the southern continent, as we learn in Tower of Dawn from the Stygian Spyders (her handmaidens... which is what I thought Amren could have been, but that's not my theory battle I choose to fight) that there was a big ol' door/portal/whatever that Maeve walked herself and clique through. Hm...

Also, let us not forget when Nuan casually mentioned in her alchemic practice that the "Mother provides everything [they] need on this earth." What does she know that we doooon't?

And while I know I've wanted more, more of the other solar courts — I think perhaps they've been held back because they'll play an integral role in whatever happens next. I mean in addition to everything else Thesan's got a population of winged beings that sound suspiciously like Midgard's angels and Helion's got the only flying horsies (and libraries... I cannot stress how preoccupied I am with libraries in these worlds).

Re: Dawn Court... light-filled healers in TOG (specifically Yrene) play an essential role when it comes to the Valg (who we're not 100% are also the Asteri or Daglan, but let's say they're in the same fam). Yrene can "cure" the people the Valg infect and *the biggest of TOG spoilers* she kills the big bad Valg with her powers. But before she does that... Erawan (which will always just remind me of the fancy shmancy grocery store) wants to capture her and says her powers/what she can do goes far beyond what she understands... and... at the end of the day... us too... SARAH!!!

I will be doing a verrrry deep dive into TOG-world healers because every single page I read describing... like anything about them was making my SJM insanity senses tingle. We haven't spent a lot of time with Thesan and his powers, but we know Feyre's blood can heal others so... curious to see where that one leads.

But the other thing we've got in TOG is a lot of people of varying... let's call them heritages having varied power abilities... and even humans being able to use magic (like wyrdmarks). They've also got a god city and scions and I simply cannot spend anymore time going on tangents here, but know I only have more questions... no answers... help.

OMG we made it. To recap we've got: connections to other faerie realms (whether in ACOTAR or the multiverse which would implicate some world walking), we've got alchemists/alchemy, we've got healers, we've got two light wielding courts with some magic overlap and, and at the very least, magic irregularities. We've got gods all over the place. We've got... so many questions... but hopefully some thought provoking parallels!

If I had to make my very bold "conclusion" to whatever hellscape of a hypothesis this is it's that I do believe the Dawn Court and the Day Court have some mix and matching travel/world walking situations with the southern continent in TOG and ditto for that relationship regarding more elemental fae and Midgard. And with alchemy (that I really hope either exists in this world, manifests as just witches like babes I'll take it) acting as the connecting thread between the power balances of the worlds... idk I think we're gonna get some answers there. And I think perhaps they'll be very important to connecting the worlds.

Mostly... this is my plea to SJM to bring back Nuan! Tell us about the other glowing boys (Thesan & Helion).

Seriously, if you read any of this... thank you and just know I'm sending you a little virtual kiss. Ok, let's both go touch some grass now.

Pt. II is mostly written and coming to a tumblr near you soon.

16 notes · View notes