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bigskydreaming · 3 years ago

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Brain topic du jour is reflecting on the frankly weird as fuck pattern in Dick’s life where....he barely ever experiences losses one at a time. Most of the loss he’s experienced in his life is compounded by him losing multiple people and other elements of stability all at the exact same time.

1) When his parents died, in some continuities this is coupled with him losing his extended family of his aunt and cousin as well, with his uncle left comatose and on life support for years before he eventually died as well. Even in continuities without Richard, Karla and John, the loss of Dick’s parents is compounded by the additional loss of his circus family in the sense that he was taken away from them by the state and their constant reassuring presences in his life were no longer comforts he was able to rely on.

2) When Jason died, Dick didn’t just lose his brother, as the tragedy was compounded by Bruce’s reaction. I’ll never be able to gloss over the effects of NTT #55, personally, because I think its too key to Dick’s entire characterization and the specific direction his character took in the years that followed this, to like....disregard that Bruce however unintentionally, while lost in his own grief, added to Dick’s own sense of loss for Jason in probably the worst way possible. As by kicking Dick out and telling him to leave his keys, Dick - having no way to know or guess that they’d ever reconcile, just like he never actually went back to the circus being a regular presence for him - to Dick, this was in essence the equivalent of his childhood tragedy all over again. Losing not just one family member, but his whole family in one sweep, and all the comforts and stability offered by a home he was forced to leave. Even Dick’s contact with Alfred was minimal for awhile, because why would the guy who basically JUST saw history repeat itself and was like, well I know how THIS tends to play out.....why would he think that if Alfred felt forced to actually choose between his loyalties to Bruce and Dick respectively, that Alfred would pick Dick over the man he’d known and raised from childhood himself?

3) Titans Hunt. I know I harp on this one a lot, but you can’t deny that it fits the pattern. Dick didn’t just lose one friend and teammate.....he lost Joey, he lost a good four or five lesser known Titans who nevertheless were people he viewed as directly HIS responsibility to keep safe. With these tragedies compounded by the fact that though comics played out a lot more slowburn and extended stories over years back then, like.....the aftermath of Titans Hunt was still everpresent and directly died into Dick’s reactions and emotions during the Mirage storyline and everything that happened with the failed wedding and his breakup with Kory AND the fact that he was literally forced off the team he’d basically founded, by the government agency that took over the team and appointed Roy as its leader in his stead.

3) Graduation Day. The second time the Titans disbanded it was again not due to a singular loss, because Dick didn’t just lose Donna at this point, but also Lilith died in the exact same story and though Lilith is criminally underused, like, she’s also one of Dick’s oldest friends. She was literally the first Titan to join after the original five. This then led into the Outsiders era, where Dick was shown to still be reeling from the losses of this story for an extended period of time, and in a fun parallel to the Titans Hunt aftermath, Dick was also ousted from his leadership of THIS team by essentially a vote of no confidence by his teammates (and uh, Bruce too, literally).

4) The Blockbuster arc. Where Dick’s emotional state was due to a continued string of multiple losses. He lost his apartment building and almost every one of the neighbors he’d built a community out of, as we’d been shown him actively involving himself in their lives and vice versa for YEARS before this point. Then he lost his circus, his childhood home, burned to the ground and with dozens of deaths - both spectators and actual performers Dick had known and loved as a child. Then he lost his relationship with Barbara, his sense of self-security and autonomy to Tarantula, he lost another teen vigilante who died in his colors, the mantle HE’D created, when Stephanie was believed dead in War Games, and it all culminated in losing the city he’d invested himself in as his CHOSEN home, the place he dedicated himself to protecting, when Chemo blew it up.

Oh just for the record - my nonexistent passport to the magical kingdom of Narnia for a fic that raises the point when bringing up Tim’s losses in the Red Robin era, that like.....ALL of the above happened at literally the EXACT SAME TIME as all Tim’s referenced losses occurred. Obviously Steph meant more to Tim than Dick on a personal level, but I also included her largely as an anchor point to the timeline, to show how that death, and not long after that Jack Drake’s and then Superboy’s.... occurred right smack in the middle of one of the absolute WORST periods of Dick’s life. To be clear, I don’t intend this to suggest that no actually, Dick had it harder than Tim - nah.

No thank you. Hard pass. I hate that sort of thing even in support of my own faves over other characters. No, instead the thing I’d love to see explored more is just in light of the SPECIFIC angle fics take here - that Dick’s actions while Bruce was lost in time showed an obliviousness to everything Tim had lost lately - for literally ANYONE to bring up or introduce into the timeline here an awareness of everything Dick had lost AT THE EXACT SAME TIME PERIOD. To establish that actually, Dick didn’t just ‘not understand what it was like’ - rather, its more accurate to say that nobody in universe around this time ever shows an awareness of Dick’s own losses and says oh wait, that doesn’t track then.

Because obviously, with this stuff put in proper perspective, Dick understands VERY VERY WELL the exact thing we’re accusing him of not understanding by being oblivious to Tim’s losses that he’s not actually oblivious to because he tries to talk to Tim about them all the time, while meanwhile its everyone else who has absolutely mum to say about the fact that Dick’s emotional state is compromised to hell and back at this point, not JUST because of losing Bruce, but also because *gestures wildly* literally ALL OF THE ABOVE in the exact same time frame Tim’s extended losses happened in.

And okay I am going to indulge in slight tiny itty bitty pettiness and point out my ire that so many fics set during this time tend to recite listicles of Tim’s losses, with Steph, Kon and Jack Drake at the very top of said list....while paying no attention whatsoever to the fact that STEPH WAS LITERALLY BACK BY THE TIME THE RED ROBIN SERIES HAPPENED. She’s LITERALLY a person Dick sends to check up on Tim after Tim turns Dick away when he tries himself. How are you gonna stress the impact Steph’s loss has on Tim when you’re not even acknowledging STEPH’S RIGHT HERE IN THE EXACT SPECIFIC CANON STORY YOU’RE CITING??? I just. afhioskhflafhlafhklfahlfa.

And not to put too fine a point on it, but you know who ELSE was also back at the same time? CONNOR. Superboy LITERALLY was already back to life by the time the Red Robin series even began. Like, the issue where a resurrected Kon and Cassie (Wonder Girl) have a heart to heart about the fact that Tim and Cassie ‘connected’ during his absence and Connor stresses that this doesn’t bother him or make him feel negatively towards either of them at all, because hello, he was literally dead at the time, why would he mind that two of the people he loves most in the world sought comfort in each other? Yeah, that issue? Literally came out BEFORE Tim even became Red Robin.

I MEAN. I’m just saying, when people constantly take shots at Dick’s choices during this period because of how much Tim had lost before Bruce already, in order to shift focus away from the fact that Dick lost Bruce every bit as much as Tim did......and you repeatedly emphasize the SAME three names as the focal point of Tim’s losses while paying no acknowledgment whatsoever to everything Dick lost at the exact same time Tim lost these three.....it quickly becomes kiiiiiiinda relevant in my opinion THAT TWO OF THE THREE NAMES CONSTANTLY MENTIONED AS BEING TIM’S LOSSES ARE NO LONGER EVEN LOST BY THE TIME THE SUBJECT COMES UP. Again, I’m just saying! Pettily, mind you! I am aware of the pettiness, I just beg awareness of like *again gesticulates wildly at all of the above* ALL THAT!

LOL.

But I digress.

5) When Bruce was believed dead while he was lost in the timestream. Again, Dick didn’t just lose the father who had been the only parent in his life for almost TWICE as long as his first parents......this was coupled with the loss of numerous other sources of stability in Dick’s life. There’s the matter of his personal sense of identity and self-expression....Dick FOUGHT against becoming Batman, trying to handle Gotham in Bruce’s absence as Nightwing for as long as he could, because he knew being Batman was very much NOT going to be good for him. He put so much of himself into building his identity as Nightwing, establishing himself in that role, that self-image, that yes, I maintain it was an actual LOSS for Dick, to feel like he had no choice but to give that up and everything it meant to him and his own life, in order to essentially live Bruce’s life for him in his absence.

Because it wasn’t just being Batman that Dick was struggling with at this time....he also had to act as the patriarch to the Wayne family, essentially raise Bruce’s ten year old son, step into Bruce’s old role in Wayne Enterprises, all while getting no acknowledgment for any of this, for literally LIVING his father’s life instead of the life Dick had worked so hard to build for HIMSELF....because of course Dick’s actions and struggles couldn’t even be advertised beyond the family and close friends, because the whole point of him doing all this was so that nobody else even realized that Bruce wasn’t really there anymore. Dick didn’t just assume Bruce’s responsibilities. Dick assumed Bruce’s life, so thoroughly that most people didn’t even put together that Bruce was ‘dead,’ between Dick handling Bruce’s actual roles and responsibilities while Hush made public appearances as him.

Like, when you’re living someone else’s life so completely that nobody can tell they’re even gone....how on earth does that leave any time or space for you to have ANY kind of life of your OWN, y’know? Not to mention the fact that like in so many times previously....all this meant that Dick couldn’t even afford to let his grief for his own losses show, because he wasn’t supposed to be grieving any losses in the first place, that was the whole point of the con!

Additionally, couple this with the fact that throughout this time period, Dick didn’t have Tim to lean on at all, because it was never that Dick kicked Tim out or neglected him or didn’t care....he’d actively stressed how much he needed Tim, because the partner Tim was convinced Dick chose ‘over’ him - Dick was the first one to admit back then that he DIDN’T trust Damian yet, couldn’t afford to, because he was all too aware that Damian didn’t give a fuck about him yet and couldn’t be guaranteed to step in to have Dick’s back - because that required mutual trust that Dick literally just hadn’t had time to build yet. And add to THAT the fact that during this time, Jason was actively antagonizing the family and Dick in particular at every turn, trying to bring them all down and basically write over what all of them saw as Bruce’s legacy with Jason’s own version of what he thought that should look like.

Also also, take into account that unlike how often we see fanon depict Dick as just too stubborn or proud to ask for help, there’s the fact that he actually had very few avenues TO ask for help! As already established, he DID ask Tim for help. Not like Jason was an option at this time, and Dick’s friends weren’t actually just sitting waiting in the wings and groaning about the fact that Dick was trying to do all of this solo....nah, they kinda had their own problems, which Dick was all too aware of?

Like the fact that in the wake of Final Crisis, it wasn’t just Bruce that was believed lost. Many other key Leaguers like Martian Manhunter were dead or lost, with others struggling to fill the gaps left in their absence. Cry For Justice happened right after Final Crisis too....that story where Lian was murdered? So it wasn’t like Dick was remotely going to try leaning on Roy when Roy had just lost his freaking DAUGHTER and very much wasn’t handling it well (and not to overshadow Roy’s loss at ALL, but please let’s not act like Dick - who had literally been the person to put a baby Lian in Roy’s arms for the first time and had known that girl for pretty much her entire life - like, it shouldn’t be used to detract from Roy’s loss at all, but it shouldn’t have to, to just acknowledge that Lian’s loss right at this exact time was painful as fuck to Dick, who’d loved his niece like crazy.)

The pattern of compounding, concurrent losses in Dick’s life. I’m just saying. Its there.

And it extends into the New 52 as well, where Forever Evil came right on the heels of Dick losing his circus in THIS continuity to the Joker, just as a way to hurt him in Death of A Family. And with the aftermath of Forever Evil and Dick’s own literal death, being like....the complete loss of Dick’s entire life, even though he was revived quickly. That didn’t mean he got to live HIS life though, since Dick Grayson was believed dead and he was told had to remain so, so its like fuck whatever he actually wanted to do as he went about on the Spyral mission aka something that pinched his own sense of morality and personal agenda at every turn and was kinda the last thing a therapist would recommend for a trauma recovery period, lol. And like, for all the focus that was paid to how Dick’s family were hurt because they believed they’d lost him when he was actually alive, let’s not forget that for all intents and purposes, Dick DID lose his family in the wake of his resurrection because he was flat out told over and over that due to what ‘he’d LET happen to him’ he was an ACTIVE danger to them, and thus wasn’t allowed by Bruce to contact any of them or lean on them to any degree, until Bruce got amnesia and stopped blocking Dick’s pleas to return home by just not being there to pick up the secret phone line at all.

(And omg, the obliviousness that just EMANATES off the hot takes that Dick had a ‘choice’ in all this and he still CHOSE to do what Bruce told him....like. LOLOL, stop being pissy about me bringing up the term abuse apologism when its literal victim blaming to paint the guy who had to be beaten into ‘agreeing’ to the Spyral mission in the immediate wake of the trauma of DYING, all while his father vocally blamed him for his own suffering and the ‘threat’ he now posed to his family, keying directly into the guilt complex Bruce knows damn well is at the core of most of Dick’s motivations.....fucking please. There’s no choice in all that. That’s active emotional, mental and physical abuse aimed at directly manipulating Dick’s actions, delivered by the guy who knows Dick best in the world and whose approval - particularly when Dick is at absolute rock bottom aka Current Location - matters more to Dick than just about anything because his sense of self-worth has more in common with dog shit than actual dog shit does. Or something. Idk. That analogy got away from me. But like. You get it.)

BUT. I. DIE. GRESS. (I guess).

Aaaaaaanyway, so yeah! That repeating pattern throughout Dick’s life of ‘loss? What loss (singular)? My losses only come in groups, lolol, fuuuuuun’ - mmmm. Yeah. So that’s what’s on MY brain right now. Thoughts?

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dmclemblems · 2 years ago

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Claude calling the people of the Kingdom and Empire monsters and rallying people under the promise of their deaths and only giving half of a shit for his own people, on top of being willing to worsen foreign relations and refuel fighting on the border wrt Sreng for the same reasons. Hm wow that sure sound like someone who sees outsiders as less than human and only as threats to his own people (who are the only ones deserving of peace and safety). You know, that mindset that Claude fundamentally hates and literally came to Fodlan to wipe out so that people can live in harmony with each other?

Fuck this game and the absolutely horrific treatment it gave to Claude's entire character. Literally nothing anyone says can possibly explain why such a core aspect of Claude's character is not just not present, but actively replaced with its perfect opposite - and this game doesn't even bother to give a HALF-HEARTED explanation, he Just Is like this now. This game can actually suck my ass.

I like the game generally speaking (and AG was written really well), but I'm definitely not fond of how Claude was handled.

Like you said, and one of the biggest things that bothers me that I mentioned in another post is how he basically tells people to surrender or die, yet he says he wants to minimize casualties. It doesn't even make sense that he wants that but attacked the Kingdom without so much as a letter being sent to speak to Dimitri personally talk to to him about the Church and whatnot. Plus, if he did, he might have been made aware that all his perceptions of the Church were wrong.

The whole Sreng thing bugs me because they informed Sreng about the war and whatnot so that they'd invade, but later Claude tries to... not get them involved? He used them when it was convenient and then suddenly didn't want to after that.

One of my biggest gripes is that Claude has no consistency. You know how in CF they kept doing this back and forth trying to be like Edelgard is a bad person who started the war, oh wait no she's just a good person with strong views, etc etc? They really did that with Claude here except at least Edelgard was always consistent with her character. Claude's writing here is just like... they're trying to make him the anti-war person he is in Houses but they wrote him to be the exact opposite. When it starts going too far they pull him back again and have him keep iterating this nonsense about not wanting the war to keep going because people are dying.

Also, Nader saying he couldn't wait to rampage in the Kingdom REALLY bothered me (and he says this at camp so it's missable if he wasn't spoken to). After all the shit they said about Almyrans not being barbarians and whatnot, he's planning to go nuts with attacking the Kingdom? All that would do is make the Kingdom more unwilling to make any kind of relationship with Almyra.

There was definitely a lot of "we're doing this for Leicester" and not... any bit of care for any other land. I've been goofing about it a lot and trying to be mellow about it but just in general I find the things Claude does and the things he says to be absolutely abhorrent in this game. The way he manipulates people with the politely worded "surrender or die" is seriously awful and isn't much better than Edelgard's behavior.

I really doubt there would be any true harmony after this war. Even if the Kingdom lost and ceased to exist (and became just Adrestia and Leicester), I can guarantee there would be civil wars and uprisings all over the place. The people in the Kingdom would never, ever settle for that. Honestly, I could see Sylvain rallying troops and launching an attack on Leicester. I feel like even though he acts mostly calm during the story, he still has that in him because of the way Dimitri didn't want his emotions to get the better of him in battle. It's pretty clear to me that Sylvain despises Claude and the Alliance in GW.

Literally the whole thing with the Kingdom just sits so wrong with me. They were just minding their own business and suddenly everyone is trying to invade. In fact, they're trying to do good things within their borders and fix their society, but they can't because everyone around them just wants to go to war. Even the Church kind of forced them to get involved by asking for their aid. I'd put the least blame on them honestly because they really don't do anything bad at all here/in this game, but the war forced Dimitri's hand in so many ways when all he wanted to do was make a better society for the Kingdom.

By the end of the game I'd say Claude is really just... marginally better than Shahid, and that is not a high bar. It just served to keep the theme going that Almyrans just want war and fighting. Claude had other options and he chose invasion and killing. He chose to do what Shahid did to Leicester.

I honestly feel really bad for the Kingdom. Nobody will leave them alone and the worst part is that they're all so loyal to each other and so tight knit that like... once you've fucked with one of them you've fucked with all of them. They're not just gonna let it go and be like oh yeah okay we'll just stop the Kingdom from existing and give up on it. Dimitri also just wants to keep his people safe and Claude abuses that fact to make Dimitri let him get past him to get to Rhea. Basically, Claude is saying either I kill your people or let you me pass by and kill Rhea. Seeing as Rhea has always supported Dimitri and has never tried to obstruct any part of his rule, it's really shitty to be like oh hey you know this person who has done right by you and has been super chill with you? Let us kill her or I'm gonna kill your people and make you feel like shit about it. He uses people's emotions to make them stop fighting, and what he said to Ashe really bugged me.

There's a lot of stuff at the camp in GW that I saw (I'll end up posting some of it later, it's just that my posts are totally out of order for when I actually post them compared to when I'm playing so that I don't end up posting tons of stuff all at once, flood people's dashboards and then just have nothing to post lol) that really highlight how awful all of this is. Several characters are unhappy with all of it, and then you have the dumbass types who don't give a fuck like Raphael and Leonie (which is BEYOND me, especially with Raphael. He's supposed to be the gentle, kindhearted one and he's like 150% okay and happy with invading and fighting people and just knocking them flat. He gets excited for it. Hopes Raphael just ain't the one for me lol), and they only care about a good fight no matter who they have to kill.

Only a few people regularly question the morality of Claude's army, like Yuri, Hapi, Lorenz and Ashe. Most of them just... do not care. They'd kill good people for a good fight or because they just happen to like Claude so they'll ruin other people's lives.

I know it's just a video game, but... I just hate everything about the second half of GW lol. I love the early Almyran lore and it helps a lot for the missing pieces in Houses, but the story is just... disgusting. I've always hated Edelgard's actions in Houses and I'm not gonna justify Claude's behavior and actions in Hopes just because I like him in Houses. Just like her, he's a huge warmonger in this game. I guess it's because I just... don't like war and I have a very strong mindset on people who do things like that, especially when they attack people who are just living their lives and doing their own thing. Even though I've always been a Kingdom girl, I don't think my feelings would change on any of this if I was more bias toward Leicester. I don't think I'd be comfortable seeing the Kingdom being trampled for literally no reason whatsoever. We can't even blame Cornelia or other TWS members in this game for a lot of what happens to them. It's Edelgard and Claude doing a lot of it.

There's just... a lot of really awful things happening in this game and Claude spearheads a whole ass lot of it.

Claude von Deserved A Lot Fucking Better.

#Three Hopes Spoilers #I'm torn for my next Houses run bc I AM technically in the middle of a GW run #but I miss AM. but also I am not ready to have to see Rodrigue and Miklan die again lol #I mean Miklan technically seems to survive in GW and... I guess in SB? I don't remember well on that one but #at least in AG he died having gotten better and being a commander!#but also I just miss the good writing LOL I miss AM and wanna play it but #my data/progression would end up being split off into two playthroughs and that just bugs me #I am sad and miss Dimi's accidental flirting!!! I miss the pure lil cutie who got to be at least #a lil happy at the Academy and WAS ACTUALLY FRIENDS WITH CLAUDE #this game gave me many good things... all of which were isolated to AG lmao #I got a lot of things I rly wanted in this game but LIKE. AT WHAT COST #DCB Reply

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erwinsvow · 4 years ago

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𝐚𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨

note: part two to the college headcanons! part one can be found here! i had a lot of fun writing these and i hope everyone enjoys them :) teacher/student dynamic warning for zeke and hange's, and i guess bullying for annie's :/

𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐝

the very definition of kind-hearted frat boy who doesn’t fit the stereotype he’s been assigned at all

starts off with accounting before realizing he hates math, moves into business management and marketing

the linkedin profile is absolutely popping, 500+ connections and details about every club and organization he’s ever been a part of

the friend that helps everyone find internships and fixes their resumes while offering helpful advice and not being condescending… anyways so that’s how you meet porco

he works at the career center 100% and does various coaching/prep help, and you, pieck’s friend, are in desperate need of an internship

so you’re complaining to your friend as usual, when she tells you to stop by the building and ask for a “pock”

so you do just that, walking in and asking for “pock” and porco is a little stunned by this pretty stranger calling him by a nickname reserved for his close friends, and even then he just barely tolerates it

but he doesn’t want to correct you, especially since you’re being so sweet and he can tell you need some help

so a meeting at the career center slowly turns into facetime calls to review applications and last-minute edits, stopping by your dorm to help you fill out paperwork and walking together to mail it out

i have a feeling porco doesn’t wanna be too forward, and he thinks he’s being very aloof and casual, when he really just seems oblivious

and you cannot tell for the life of you if he likes you or he’s just being friendly since you’re close with pieck

finally after you land the internship and won't have your normal excuse to spend time with him, you get the guts you've been searching for

you tell him about the position later in the day, stopping by the center for hopefully the last time

"by the way, my number's on my resume if you're ever gonna ask me out."

leaves pocky-boy flustered and red and scrambling to ask you out, and you have been happily dating since

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫

oh boy

conny is a very typical college kid in the sense that he will sleep through every 8 am class he has, blow off class to go wait in line for the nacho bar, and has adopted the mantra ‘c’s get degrees’

but he is an extremely lovable education major with a focus in history

rarely seen without his shadow sasha, but now that she started dating niccolo, she thinks that conny could use a relationship too, and that it might do him some good to be with a funny, down-to-earth person

thus begins the most grueling two weeks for every girl on campus, as sasha hunts down girls that she thinks would be a good match for her best friend

this includes airdropping a photo of conny to the lecture hall with the caption “would you date this man? serious inquiries only”

creates a fake tinder complete with a google form to narrow down the options

however, none of this is necessary because sasha bumps into you in the smoothie line and causes your triple berry blend to go flying

she helps you clean up and idle conversation leads to you talking about dates and so forth

“well, i’d love to set you up with my best friend? how do you feel about a blind date?”

yes, conny met you, the love of his life, on a blind date set up by sasha with a stranger

it’s one of those funny stories that people don’t believe when you tell them, because how ridiculous is that, but you both think it’s perfect since you get along so well and it made all the waiting worth it

bonus: double dates with sasha and niccolo! fondue night at their apartment, going to the arcade and having to lug up sasha and her food baby while niccolo parks the car, just overall a grand time :)

𝐳𝐞𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫

zeke yeager, ph.d. started his new job at university with one rule in mind: absolutely no illicit affairs

he also coaches the club baseball team, because why not get involved on your campus

he really believes that he’s gonna stick with it too, despite the overwhelming number of students who come to his office hours with questions that his less handsome teaching assistants could answer

but no, he doesn’t want to earn a reputation as that professor, and so he heads into the new semester with absolutely no lingering thoughts of an exciting little dalliance to get him through the monotonous days

he knows his huge lecture classes would always come with a few pretty students, but it’s the smaller, upper-level psych class he’s teaching when he meets you for the first time

zeke has you all figured out, or so he thinks. sitting in the front row, raising your hand for questions he wasn’t expecting anyone to actually have an answer to, neatly handwritten notes in a color-coded notebook. he wouldn’t peg you for the type to jump and take the risk by starting a relationship with a professor.

but he soon realizes that he didn’t have you as figured out as he thought he did.

you avoid the gaggle of freshmen during office hours by scheduling meetings instead, sometimes right before class, coming to him with two cups of coffee and a wide smile that actually had him fooled into thinking you were here for academic reasons

this facade quickly fades though, because after a semester of interactions with you and getting more and more comfortable with each other, to the point where coffee orders are memorized and it’s zeke rather than professor yeager, you’ve had just about enough

he knows he’s fucked when you come visit him at practice for the baseball team, bringing him a drink and engaging in conversation while the players watch their coach flirt with you

he’s especially fucked when he realizes he’s looking forward to practice just because there’s a chance you’ll stop by on your way to your next class

you submit your final paper early, nearly a week before it’s due and of course the first in the class to do so, and waltz into his office the next day with another steaming cup of his favorite drink

“you submitted your paper pretty early, you know.”

“i know. i also know that it means i’m not your student anymore, so if you were going to make a move, now’s the time.”

no, he definitely had underestimated how much he knew about you.

𝐦𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐚 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧

mikasa is a forensic sciences major and is still debating on the minor- she’s torn between criminal justice or history like armin.

she loves her major classes, but she just wants something else interesting to look forward to as well, so armin suggests sitting in on a couple classes early in the semester and getting a taste for it.

so you don’t really think twice when she claims the empty seat next to you on the first day of classes, smiling politely and paying attention to the professor. you do notice, however, that she’s not writing anything down or looking at the syllabus, leading you to strike a conversation on why that is.

she explains herself and then before you even know it, the lecture ends and you spent the last forty minutes talking to mikasa about anything and everything.

she’s sitting in on another class tomorrow, and absent mindedly invites you to come along, to which you agree all too quickly, because why wouldn’t you

numbers are exchanged, times are fixed, and mikasa leaves wondering why she’s so excited at the idea of sitting with you in class again.

you two hate the history class she had chosen, with the professor droning on and on and you being focused entirely on the conversation you’re having with mikasa

until the professor kicks the two of you out for not shutting up, that is

you’re both laughing hysterically once you reach the hallway

“i’m gonna have to discourage you from doing that history minor if that’s what all the classes are like.”

“well, i have to do criminal justice so we can have that class together, anyways.”

𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭

true to form, annie goes into one of the most difficult majors: cheg. definitely flies through intro courses with straight As and minimal effort, but that’s also mostly because all she and bertholdt do is study

reiner tries his hardest to get her to go to a party every once in a while, but usually to no avail because she always has an exam to study for

you’re a tutor, and honestly, you’d say you were pretty good at your job. you can answer questions and explain reasonings fairly well to confused students. but when annie comes to your office hours with some complicated problems and she’s asking for explanations that you just don’t have, you literally feel your face burn with heat for the entirety of the time she’s there

long story short, your first encounter is embarrassing, to say the least. you’re stumbling over words as you try to look through your old notes and piece together an answer for annie, who you cannot even look in the eyes.

anyways, she leaves eventually and you want a hole to open in the ground and swallow you up, but at least she won’t be back next week, right?

wrong.

miss leonhart doesn’t know how to express her feelings any better than you, so her way of flirting is spending time with you in the tutor center as you fail to answer her questions time and time again

you want to scream at her to stop coming because she and you both know you’re not helping either of you with this

but also you really don’t want her to stop coming because you don’t have any other ways to see her outside of class

both of you reach your wit’s end on the same day, her coming to you with the absolute easiest problems she could find in the textbook, and you with every intention of asking her out to dinner

she opens her book, and you reach and close it quickly

“unless this is the only way you know how to flirt, something has to change now.”

𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐳𝐨𝐞

dr. zoë teaches, just, way too many classes

we’re talking multiple chemistry labs and upper-level research courses as well

you’re just a ph.d. student doing rotations as per usual, and you’ve heard the comments from students senior to you about dr. zoë, who makes every student in rotation say hange instead of the formal way you’re used to

you’ve heard everything from crazy to genius and everything in between

what you weren’t expecting was… so good looking, and young? and comforting? and talking about all the things that you didn’t have the guts to bring up with other people, like how you always feel a little left out in the field and that you think no one cares about your research interests that much—a lot of stuff that you find yourself pouring out to hange on your very first day in the lab

you’re wondering why it’s so easy to talk to them, and why none of the other rotations ever felt this comfortable

and then you realize you’re spilling your guts to someone who probably doesn’t even care, and has way more to deal with on their plate than a ph.d. student with imposter syndrome

so you’re apologizing right after you’ve finished, when you’re met with the warmest look and a reassuring hand on your shoulder

it’s so easy to fall after that, with weekly meetings and regular check-ins, and you know it’s wrong to have this strange crush on your superior, but hange really feels like the one person you can count on here

you hide the crush in favor of getting the mentorship you desperately think you need, but it’s not long until you’re onto the next rotation and the next lab’s work is even closer to the stuff you love

you hate the way you feel, that you’re not gonna have any reason to keep in touch and you never even got to explain how you feel about them—and that you didn’t even get to experience hange’s energy because she was always listening and helping you out

it’s not until you get a text the night before your first day in the new lab from hange, filled with reassuring words and asking for a coffee date later in the week to talk about how it goes, that you realize just how well hange understood you

𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫

last but not least, miss pieck is double majoring in french and public health

absolutely obsessed with her majors and loves the subjects, but works herself to death to keep up with it all

you don’t even realize that the pretty, studious girl you’re seeing in the library all the time is the same girl you spot with some of your friends from class

pieck is as oblivious as they come. you invite her on study dates after you two are introduced by reiner, invite her to get coffee after a particularly late night of studying, pretty much start spending most of your days together

you can’t help but be disappointed that pieck doesn’t see you in that way, because you’ve slowly been falling head over heels, but you accept that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be, and you still love the friendship you two have

it takes a while for things to click for pieck, but they do right as the semester eases up

once exams are over, you two decide to go to these famous parties porco and reiner never stop talking about

it’s not the usual scene you’re comfortable with, but what’s wrong with letting loose a little, especially after midterms? no harm in having fun, right?

wrong again! you definitely get plastered way too quickly, and eventually pieck takes you to a room to settle down

drunk confessions of love aren’t usually the way to go, but you can’t help but reveal everything you’ve been feeling for the last few months when pieck is taking care of you in your current state

you definitely wake up hungover and ignorant to last night’s shenanigans, but you’re in your dorm, with a bottle of water and ibuprofen on the nightstand, phone plugged in and shoes off

pieck comes back with breakfast, coffee and your favorite pastries, and checks up on you

“so.. about last night..”

“i’m so sorry, did i throw up on you?”

“no, but you did say you were in love with me. was that just a drunk thing, or is it a sober thing too? because i think i’m in love with you too.”

320 notes · View notes

iclaimedtobethebetterbard · 3 years ago

Text

i’m taller than you - chapter 3

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Logan and Janus; mentioned Virgil, Roman, Remus, Remy, and Patton Rating: Teen & up Relationships: Enemies-to-lovers/arranged marriage Loceit; platonic Janus and Remy Warnings: Language; some discussions of transphobia; extremely brief mention of incest (it has 0 details and does not involve any of the characters in the story, it's almost literally just that the word is said). Word count: 5644 Notes: as far as I know, "Letters of Viola" is not a thing that exists in the real world; I just needed a cool-sounding title for a play, lol

Read on AO3!

My writing masterpost

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–

Chapter 3

In the two months since the wedding, Logan’s dislike for Janus had barely tempered itself. The first few weeks they had exchanged no more than the bare minimum of communication, and none too politely, either. Unpleasant as this had been, Logan almost thought he would prefer it to now. It had minimized the amount of time he and Janus spent in each other’s presence.

But after those first few weeks, Virgil had started pointedly inviting Janus to spend time with the royal siblings. This was tantamount to utter betrayal in Logan’s eyes—Virgil had always been the one he had counted on to understand him and to take his side when everything went wrong; Virgil was the buoy he always clung to until storms washed over. And now Virgil had chosen the storm instead of Logan. It… hurt.

To make matters worse, the twins immediately adored Janus, who fenced with them and gave them tips, and flattered Roman’s poetry, and laughed at Remus’s crude jokes, and regaled them both with stories of things he’d allegedly done (which the twins found enthralling, and which Logan was quite certain were entirely made up).

But, now that Janus was frequently spending time with people, instead of holed up in his study with his nose buried in his philosophy books, or out on the palace grounds spending hours riding horseback alone, at least Virgil harped less on Logan to make Janus feel welcome. Janus was fast becoming good friends with the twins—and with Remy, who regularly showed up to drag Janus away for what he called “trophy husband self-care days.” Janus seemed to enjoy these; he was always in a good mood when he returned from them.

Given all of that, at this point, Virgil seemed content to let Logan and Janus ignore each other, so long as neither of them spent too long alone.

But that was just the hangup. Ignoring each other wasn’t happening anymore. A couple of weeks ago, Logan and Janus had gotten into an argument about the book Janus had been reading at dinner. It had left Janus grinning, his eyes sparkling and his cheeks faintly flushed, and left Logan feeling deeply disgruntled—he had been winning, until Janus once again referenced their height difference and distracted Logan from his own point.

Since then, Janus, for inexplicable reasons, seemed to have decided that his one goal in life was to make Logan’s life a living hell. What other reason could he have for constantly talking to Logan, smirking and pestering him with questions and sly witty jabs and argumentative statements of falsehood practically designed to bait Logan into angry debate? Logan had hardly had a moment’s peace since this began. Janus kept tricking him into spending hours debating over things that Logan—well, actually, things that Logan cared quite a lot about—but things Logan would not have chosen as conversation topics, certainly not with Janus.

Janus, damn him, seemed to enjoy it all. He’d even stopped his long horseback rides in favor of spending more time annoying Logan, saying, “Oh, no, I absolutely hate horses, I wasn’t lying about that,” when Logan questioned him on it.

“You used to spend hours with your horse every day!” Logan had burst out, frustrated.

“Yes, because I hate most people more.” Janus had rested his chin on his clasped hands, beaming in a way that had to be calculated to annoy Logan to the highest possible degree. “But now you’re interesting.”

Logan had groaned and buried his face in his hands, and Janus had laughed, and he had continued to not go on horseback rides any more, and Logan was entirely fed up with it.

All of which had brought him to the present moment, late one evening, which was entirely too full of Janus’s pestering for Logan’s liking.

“Logan. Logan. Logan. Looooogaaaaaaaan—”

“What do you want, Janus?” Logan snapped, slamming his book down on the table in their shared library. “I’m reading!”

“Can we go to bed soon?” Janus tilted his head to the side. This would have used to make his hair fall in his eyes, but he had had it all cut off the day after his parents left, leaving himself with soft bangs that swooped across his forehead and the wavy red birthmark on his cheekbone on full display. “I’m tired. And you’re noisy when you go to bed later than me.”

“Falsehood,” Logan said crossly.

“You’ve woken me up three times in the last week,” Janus countered, arms folded. “I’m sick of it. So I’ve decided you have to stop staying up late, it’s dreadfully inconvenient for me.”

“Try sleeping better,” Logan snapped. This was, perhaps, unfair, but he was in a prickly mood today. He’d sat in on several meetings to watch how King Romulus and Virgil conducted politics in the real world, as he was expected to do on occasion, and it had been exhausting.

“How about you try sleeping at all in the first place, see if it makes you less of an ass,” Janus retorted. “Or at least gets you to stop taking it all out on me.”

“I do not—”

“Do so.”

“Well, you started it, by deceiving—”

“Oh my stars, you have got to let go of the stupid bookshop thing!” Janus flung his hands in the air. “You did the exact same thing as I did!”

Logan groaned, pushing back his chair sharply and getting to his feet. “Well, you have terrible opinions on philosophy, so—”

“Oh, says the man who thinks the theory of relativity is plausible,” Janus scoffed.

“Wh—” Logan broke off, struggling to string together words in response to something so out of the blue and bizarre. “…That’s just… accepted fact? And it’s not even philosophy?”

“It’s close enough to it,” Janus said assuredly. “You can’t prove it in the physical realm, it’s all talk and ideas. So. It’s philosophy.”

He had to be messing with Logan. This was exactly the kind of thing he did to start arguments: say something they both knew was so false as to be laughable, and insist he believed it until Logan was irritated enough to stop ignoring him. He seemed to take great amusement in it.

Logan fumed, but he couldn’t let it go. “I cannot even begin to explain how wrong you are about every single thing you just said.”

Janus smirked. “So I win, then.”

“No! No, you decidedly do not!” Logan stormed closer to Janus. “You cannot win when your fundamental premise is based on something so laughably untrue as to prevent even the most basic conversation!”

“I don’t know, we seem to be conversing just fine,” Janus said, making a show of looking down his nose at Logan.

“This is not a conversation,” Logan said heatedly, taking another step into Janus’s personal space and jabbing his finger against Janus’s collarbone. “This is me telling you that you are wrong. Unequivocally so. Because you are! About almost everything I have ever heard you say! Is that clear?”

Janus made a strangled noise, visibly swallowing, his cheeks flushing bright pink. “I—uh—” He stuttered to a halt, his eyes very round.

Logan realized that he had backed Janus all the way up against the wall and that they were standing very close together. He quickly stepped back. “…Apologies.”

“It’s fine!” Janus said, voice high and unsteady. “Just—just fine and dandy, actually, um—what were we talking about?”

Logan blinked at him several times. “What?”

“Never mind,” Janus said, shaking his head. “I—I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m just—tired. Yes. That’s it.”

“Did I scare you?” Logan asked, uncertain, feeling guilty in spite of himself.

“What? No,” Janus said. “I’m fine, can we stop talking about it now, please?”

Logan bit his lip, and Janus visibly zeroed in on the motion, cheeks flushing again. “Fine,” Logan acquiesced, looking away. “I—I apologize for losing my temper.”

“Sure,” Janus said, voice almost back to normal. “I’m—going to go get ready for bed.” He all but fled from the room.

Logan stared after him, bewildered, then shrugged and went to place his abandoned book back on the shelf where it belonged. When he heard a high-pitched, muffled shriek, wordless but definitely Janus’s voice, he could not withhold his concern any longer. He stepped into the bedroom. “Are you alright?”

Janus, sitting on the bed with his knees drawn up to his chest, started and looked up from the pillow he was mumbling a whole string of curses into, face flushed red up to the tips of his ears. “I’m fine,” he said, voice cracking, a somewhat forced smile sliding into place. “Just—just processing something. How are you?”

Logan, who was feeling incredibly off-kilter about this whole conversation, shrugged. “I am also fine?”

“Good,” Janus said, still smiling a little too hard. “Good, good, that’s great. Glad to hear it.” He got to his feet and fled to the bathroom and his skincare routine.

Logan changed into pajamas; a thought occurred to him. He knocked on the bathroom door and poked his head in. “Was all of that just to distract me from your stupid theory of relativity thing?” he demanded.

“What?” Janus stared at him blankly for a moment. “Oh! Uh, yes. Absolutely. That’s exactly what it was. You caught me. Oh no.”

Logan squinted at him; Janus held up his hands in an unassuming shrug, smiling very blandly.

“Well. You’re still wrong,” Logan said after they stared each other down for a moment and no new information was forthcoming.

“And you’re still short,” Janus retorted.

“I hate you,” Logan said immediately.

“What, because I’m taller than you? Goodness, that explains why you’re so horrible all the time. How many people do you interact with in a given day? And they’re, what, all taller than you?” Janus shook his head, grinning. “That must be very hard for you.”

Logan, fuming, told Janus exactly where he could put his opinion and marched out of the bathroom, the sound of Janus’s laugh ringing in his ears. They exchanged no more words as they conducted their various nightly routines, though Janus smirked at Logan every time they made eye contact and Logan flipped him off several times, which did nothing to stop the smirking. At last they both climbed into bed—Logan shut off the light, as had become his habit when they went to bed at similar times to each other. His side of the bed was closer to the lamp on the wall, but that did not make him feel less salty about this state of affairs.

There was silence for a few moments, the quiet darkness settling itself about them, a sliver of moonlight coming through the crack where the drapes met and tracing a line along the foot of the bed. Logan lay on his back with his hands behind his head and his thoughts swirling, going over all the reasons why Janus was wrong about everything over and over again inside his head.

At last he was fed up with it. “And another thing,” he said, propping himself up on one elbow and pulling out one of the pillows in the wall down the center of the bed.

Janus rolled over to stare at him through the newly created gap. “What?” he mumbled, sounding sleepy.

“Physics has nothing to do with philosophy,” Logan informed him. “They’re completely different disciplines.”

“Tell that to my first lady-in-waiting,” Janus said, yawning. “Lauren. She was such a laugh, I adored her.”

“I will!” Logan frowned. He didn’t care how amusing this person was, a wrong opinion was a wrong opinion.

Janus shrugged. “You can’t. I have no idea where she is. My parents fired her for encouraging me to come out. I haven’t seen her in years.”

Logan was silent, caught off-guard. “That’s… depressing.”

“Yes.” Janus shrugged again. “I miss her, but I mean, she’s probably better off away from Mother and Father. Everyone is.”

“I’m sorry,” Logan said quietly.

Janus was quiet for a moment. “Thanks.”

“Forgive me for saying this if I am overstepping, but your parents sound horrible,” Logan burst out.

Janus let out a startled laugh. “You’re not wrong,” he admitted. He paused. “That’s… why I act so arrogant all the time, I think,” he added, almost in a whisper, staring up at the ceiling. “I had to act like I had an absolute god complex in order to get even basic respect from them after I came out. It’s a force of habit at this point. Or a defense mechanism, or something. I don’t know.” He drew in a long breath and let it out again.

“Oh,” Logan said quietly.

Janus chuckled, not sounding like he meant it. “Indeed.”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“I feel—” Logan began in a whisper, not even entirely sure why he was saying it. “I—I feel like I have to be perfect in order to—to matter. To make sure there’s no excuse to dismiss or ignore me. My brothers and my father care about me, but to everyone else I’m… the second prince. The backup. I don’t really matter.”

Janus let out his breath in a long sigh. “I… I think I get that.” He glanced over at Logan with a rueful half-smile. “So, we’re both assholes for attention, is that it?”

Logan wrinkled his nose. The phrasing was crude, but all the same—“Something like that,” he admitted softly.

Janus’s smile got a little more genuine. They were both quiet for a moment, looking at each other with something far more like understanding than they had yet experienced.

Janus drew in a deep breath, rolled to lie on his back, and very obviously changed the subject. “Anyway, I told you. That physics thing is all theoretical, so until you come up with a way to get concrete proof, I can treat it like a philosophical debate.”

Logan groaned. “That is a falsehood.”

“I know,” Janus said sweetly. “I just don’t care. It’s funny. Now, do you plan to keep me up arguing all night, or can we go to sleep?”

Logan harrumphed, but begrudgingly replaced the pillow into the wall between them and fell back into silence, tossing and turning on his pillow as Janus’s breath slowly evened out. But eventually, his tired body won out over his speeding thoughts and he too drifted off to sleep.

***

Logan paused in the middle of the path in the palace gardens, doing a double take. He squinted up into the apple tree he was passing beneath. “Janus?”

Janus, seated some twenty feet off the ground, yelped and started and grabbed onto the branch to keep his balance. “Hello,” he called down, somewhat unsteadily. “What are you doing here?”

Logan blinked up at him. “I could ask you the same thing. I feel with better grounds to do so.”

“Fair enough.” Janus shrugged. “I like it up here. I come here to think.” He gestured at the foliage about himself. “And eat apples, sometimes.”

“Ah,” Logan said. “Am I—disturbing you?” He and Janus had been in a tentative, uneasy peace since the odd vulnerable conversation they’d had a couple of weeks ago. Logan felt uncertain around Janus now, never knowing what to expect from him. He could be by turns the most horribly annoying man Logan could imagine, and actually not all that bad.

Janus shook his head. “No.” He tilted his head, his smirk slipping on. “I’m taller than you. A lot taller than you, up here.”

“You are the same height you have ever been,” Logan countered, crossing his arms.

“Still taller than you,” Janus singsonged.

“Oh, shut up.” Logan rolled his eyes.

Janus grinned. “Want to come up?” He patted the branch beside himself.

Logan’s mouth fell open at the invitation; he snapped it shut. “I—absolutely,” he found himself agreeing. He fumbled a little with the unfamiliar branches on his way up, but was too used to climbing the tree outside his own bedroom to truly be at a loss as he ascended. He settled onto a branch a couple of feet away from Janus, sitting facing him with his legs dangling. “Now what?”

Janus shrugged. “Look at the view? Talk? I really don’t care what you do.” He waved a hand airily.

“Me coming up here was your idea,” Logan mumbled under his breath, but he craned his neck around, examining the view as Janus had suggested. Although they were not all that high up, he had to admit, it wasn’t a bad vantage point. Particularly to the east: the ground declined on a gentle slope, leaving an unobstructed view of the sky stretching away from them.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Janus murmured, watching Logan’s face and seeming pleased with what he found there.

“It is,” Logan had to admit. “I see why you like it up here.”

Janus nodded. “Plus, it’s quiet. People don’t notice me most of the time, so they don’t bother me.”

“Ah.” Logan hesitated, unsure whether or not to apologize for intruding.

“You’re fine,” Janus said quickly. “Gave me a bit of a scare, but I—I don’t mind you, honestly.” He glanced away, cheeks tinged with pink, picking at a loose thread on his trousers.

Logan made a small “huh” noise. “I find your presence… sometimes pleasantly tolerable,” he offered after thinking it over. “Sometimes.”

Janus snickered. “How touching.”

They were both silent for a moment too long, stretching into awkwardness. “So—” they began at the same time, then broke off with quiet laughter.

“You can go first,” Logan gave in with a sigh when Janus looked at him expectantly.

“Good,” Janus said primly. “I was saying, how do succession laws work here?”

Logan blinked at him. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I’ve been wondering for a while. I mean, you all look like your father in different ways. That’s just allowed here?”

Logan stared, trying to parse any semblance of meaning out of his speech. “I… don’t understand what you’re saying,” he had to admit at last.

“Passing on the crown to a blood relative,” Janus said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I—I mean, you all are, aren’t you?”

“…Yes,” Logan said. “I mean, technically we’re all half-siblings except the twins, but Dad birthed us all. Is that what you mean?”

“Yes—wait, your father is trans too?”

Logan blinked. “Yes? Did you not know that?”

“No! How would I have?” He made a face. “That explains why your whole life is so perfect.”

Logan squirmed, but Janus was not exactly wrong. “I… yes, I suppose. I am certainly grateful that I had to explain so little to him,” he admitted, a little ashamed never to have considered how lucky this was before. “But what do you mean, how would you have known? It’s not at all secret? And he’s the king. Everyone knows. How would you not have known?”

Janus blinked, taking this in and thinking about it, then made a face. “Oh. My parents must’ve made sure not to let me know. They hated me knowing other trans people or even hearing about them. I only even knew about you because they had to explain why you had a different name.”

“I see.” Logan winced. “Point taken.”

Janus grimaced and moved on. “But my point was, you’re all related to your father by blood? And any of you can just inherit the crown from him? Is that really how you do it here?” He spoke as if this were somehow scandalous.

“I—I mean, customarily, yes,” Logan said, still bewildered. “The heir can be anyone, I think, but they are legally considered the child of the ruler once they’re selected, even if they weren’t before. So it usually winds up being the ruler’s actual first child, biological or otherwise, unless there’s a reason to choose someone else. There’s a lot of training they have to undergo in order to prepare to assume the crown, it takes years and years. If—if anything had happened to Dad before Virgil had completed it, the kingdom would have been placed under the regency of the Royal Council until Virgil was properly trained. But he finished it all when he was twenty, so now he only has to testify in front of the council every five years to show that he still knows it all.”

Janus listened to all this with his chin in his hands. “That’s fascinating,” he said with a wrinkled nose.

“Why, how does your kingdom do it?” Logan was baffled by what could possibly make this setup seem so odd to Janus.

“Oh, well, the Philos royalty apparently had this lovely little incest problem a couple centuries ago,” Janus began cheerily.

“Ah. Charming.” Logan made a face.

“Exactly!” Janus nodded. “So now it’s illegal for a blood relative within two generations of any monarch to assume the crown. Usually the royal family adopts—my parents did. And Patton and his fiance Emile are already planning for their own children.” Janus shook his head. “Your way is very strange.”

“I—my understanding is that it’s fairly standard, as far as inheritance laws go,” Logan said hesitantly. His knowledge on this topic was not in depth, mostly coming from the much less vigorous training he’d had to go through himself as the second heir, but he had never learned anything to make him believe his kingdom’s situation was anything out of the ordinary.

“I don’t care, the fact that it’s different from mine makes it strange,” Janus told him, grinning cheekily.

Logan pursed his lips, trying not to rise to the bait. “How self-centered.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Janus said, sounding delighted. “I’m very good at that.”

“Most people would not consider that a good thing.”

Janus wrinkled his nose. “You sound like Patton.”

“Sorry,” Logan said quickly—after all, Janus’s parents were a touchy subject, and he didn’t want to assume his brother was excluded from that. “Is that bad?”

“What?” Janus looked at him blankly. “No. It was just inconveniencing me not to be automatically right. Why would it be bad?”

“I—you don’t seem to like your family very much,” Logan explained, hesitant.

Janus frowned. “I don’t like my parents. Patton is the best person in my life, the only one who made the last few years livable for me, and my best friend.” His frown deepened. “Anyone who dislikes him, or says anything bad about him ever, is my enemy.”

“I—sorry,” Logan said, taken aback by the sharpness in Janus’s tone. “I didn’t know.”

Janus crossed his arms and looked away. “No, that’s just too bad for you. I think I shall never forgive you,” he said haughtily.

Logan couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. “Janus—”

Janus snickered. “Fine, you get one second chance, but only because I like you.”

Logan froze, feeling like his whole world had flipped on its head. “…Pardon?”

“I said it’s fine because I—” Janus broke off, face flushing. “I—oh. I, I meant—I—”

“It—it’s fine,” Logan managed, still feeling unbalanced and disoriented. “I rather recall you saying you hated me, is all.”

“I…” Janus blinked several times, as if collecting his thoughts, and when he went on his face and voice were much calmer. “Oh, I did, of course. Very much so. And you deserved it, I might add.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Must you always be so rude?”

“Prove me wrong,” Janus challenged.

Logan bit the inside of his cheek and looked away.

“That’s what I thought,” Janus said. “Anyway. I changed my mind. Because I am an extremely mature and kindly man.”

“Oh, yes, those are definitely adjectives I associate with you,” Logan teased.

“Shut up or I’ll push you out of this tree and make it look like an accident,” Janus sniffed. “Anyway, we can’t keep fighting forever, it’s exhausting. And you’re—you’re alright, sometimes. So I don’t hate you anymore.” He smirked. “I just didn’t think you needed to know that.”

Logan was torn between making another witty retort and actually acknowledging what Janus was saying beneath all his layers of snark. “I—well, then,” he said, the more decent side of him winning out. “…Truce?” He offered his hand, reaching across the space between the branches they each sat on.

Janus relaxed, a small smile slipping onto his face for just a second before he masked it. “I don’t know, what’s in it for me?”

Logan sighed, retracting his hand. “If you’re going to be like that about it—”

“No, no, I want to be friends,” Janus said quickly. He bit the inside of his cheek. “I just don’t want to have to get all chummy and sweet with each other. I like arguing with you.”

Logan felt himself relax in turn, though he hadn’t realized he’d been tense. “That’s more than fine with me,” he said, and discovered it to be entirely true. When had that happened? “I mean, you’re wrong often enough that it would be hard not to.” He offered Janus a challenging grin.

“And yet you still forget how to prove it, no matter what we’re talking about, if I just point out I’m taller than you.” Janus examined his fingernails innocently.

“I—you—that never has anything to do with what we argue about!”

“No, but it still helps me win, because it always distracts you,” Janus said, grinning. “And it’s really funny to watch you jump and stand on your toes and the like.”

“I don’t do that,” Logan said at once, which was patently untrue.

“Oh, of course you don’t,” Janus said sweetly. “And I’m actually an elephant with swan wings in disguise. Those are both very true things. Especially the part about you not being petty about being short.”

“Now who’s getting pushed out of the tree?” Logan said, but he couldn’t quite hold back a smile as he said it.

That startled a giggle out of Janus, a noise of pure delight that sparked an answering feeling in Logan’s chest. Janus’s laugh—it wasn’t so bad, actually. It was contagious and delightfully appealing, now that he thought about it.

Logan decided he was very glad they’d made the agreement to be friends.

He was even more glad when, after a few days, during which his and Janus’s attitudes towards each other became noticeably less malicious, Virgil pulled him aside while Janus was doing a jigsaw puzzle with the twins. “I’m glad to see you two are finally getting along,” he said. “I knew you’d figure something out. Well done.” And he smiled, the first proud smile Logan had received from him in months.

Logan had glowed under the praise and, even better, the knowledge that Virgil wasn’t upset with him any longer. Things were finally beginning to regain their equilibrium in his life.

Yes, Logan was very, very glad to be friends with his husband.

***

“Logan!” Janus, who had been out with Remy all day, shouted late one evening, bursting into the suite so hard that Logan heard the door slam against the wall. “Logan—Logan, are you here?”

“Whatever is the matter?” Logan called back, concerned, scrambling to make his way to the sitting room. Normally on days like this, Logan would have gone to bed without waiting up for Janus. But for some reason, he’d found himself remarkably disinclined to end the day without seeing his husband’s face, and so he had stayed up in his study on the vaguest pretense of work, waiting for Janus’s return.

“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong, it’s good, it’s amazing, I—my voice cracked!” Janus seized Logan’s hands and swung them back and forth, bouncing on his toes, a grin splitting his face open. “Like, definitely for sure cracked! It’s getting deeper!”

Logan relaxed, Janus’s euphoria instigating an answering delight in himself. “That’s wonderful,” he said sincerely, squeezing Janus’s hands. “I can definitely hear it, too.”

“You can?” Janus looked thrilled. “I wasn’t sure if I was just imagining it because I wanted it so badly.”

“No, it’s definitely been getting deeper,” Logan assured him.

Janus made a strangled, gleeful noise, hugging himself and spinning around. Logan, watching, found himself stifling a smile.

“How was your day?” he asked when Janus spun to a stop, clinging dizzily to the nearest piece of furniture.

Janus lit up again. “It was so fun! Remy and I went out to the town—oh, I got you something—” He rummaged in the satchel slung about his shoulders. “Here!” He pulled out a book and thrust it at Logan eagerly.

Logan accepted it with careful hands, already intrigued. “What is this?” He ran his hands over the leather cover and flipped open the book, which appeared to be a philosophy text he hadn’t encountered before.

“Xe’s one of my favorites,” Janus said, leaning over to point at the author’s name on the title page. “And this is a really nice introduction to xyr work—Virgil said you hadn’t read anything by xem. So. I thought you might like it.”

“That is—very thoughtful, Janus,” Logan managed, mind reeling at the amount of consideration and care that had gone into the gift. He’d asked Virgil?

Janus bounced a little on his toes. “Keep looking,” he urged.

Raising an eyebrow, Logan went a few pages further and drew in a sharp breath. “Oh—” He flipped through the whole book, scanning the margins and finding that many of them were marked up with old, faded ink. He looked back up at Janus. “You—it—” He struggled to find words, emotion welling in his chest.

“It’s like in the bookstore!” Janus confirmed. “Like how you said you like them. I got really lucky, finding a marked-up copy of this there.” He seemed greatly pleased with himself, but was still watching Logan’s face anxiously, his cheeks tinged with that same pink that colored them so often lately.

“I—I am touched,” Logan managed, and though the words themselves fell far short of the reaction he wished to communicate, something in his face and the tone of his voice seemed to please Janus. “Thank you,” Logan added, flipping back to the beginning of the book and examining the first note. “Thank you—so much, Janus. This is—it’s very nice.”

Janus’s cheeks went even redder. “Of course,” he said. “I—I mean, it’s not like it was all that special. Remy and I were there anyway, and I just saw it while I was looking around. No big deal.”

Logan doubted very much that this gift had taken as little effort as Janus was trying to imply, but he let it slide. “Well, I appreciate it greatly nevertheless. Thank you.”

Janus bit back a grin and nodded. “I’m—glad,” he said, a yawn breaking the phrase up. He wrinkled his nose. “And tired, apparently.”

Logan chuckled. “Well, it is very late. We should probably go to bed.”

“Yes—what are you doing still up? You didn’t—wait up for me, did you?” Janus looked at Logan doubtfully.

Logan’s cheeks, for reasons unfathomable to him, warmed with embarrassment. “No,” he fibbed, glancing away. “I—I simply lost track of the time. I was—writing.” This was technically true, except for the part where he denied waiting up on purpose.

“Oh,” Janus said, still doubtful. “Alright. Well, your writing can wait till the morning. I’ve decided.”

“How very gracious of you,” Logan teased, but he followed Janus to the bedroom, setting the book he’d been gifted on the sidetable before beginning to prepare for sleep.

As the pair of them got ready for bed, Janus prattled on about his outing with Remy, and all the fun he’d had, as well as offering scathing commentary on a stuffy noblewoman who’d insisted on holding a conversation with the two of them for nearly an hour when she spotted them having lunch. “She was clearly only sucking up to us because of you and Virgil, but I don’t think she could even tell that we knew! We got rid of her eventually, though.” Janus climbed onto the bed and sat with crossed legs on top of the blankets, still talking. “And we saw this new show, it was absolutely droll—I think you’d like it, we should go sometime!”

Logan climbed into his own half of the bed. “Really? What’s it about?” he asked, intrigued in spite of himself.

“Oh!” Janus pulled out a pillow from the wall between them so they could still see each other, crawling under his own covers. “So, it’s this very think-y tragedy, it’s new I think, and it’s about the question of whether or not a life can be meaningful beyond its own existence. It gets very existential, but I really liked that and I bet you would too. There’s a Death character, and the way they’re worked into the narrative is absolutely stunning.”

Logan made a noise of interest. “Kind of like in Letters of Viola, do you mean?”

“Ooooh. Yes, kind of, but there are some distinct differences. The twist actually took me by surprise, I thought it was going to be something totally different.”

Logan found himself deeply fascinated by this prospect, and said as much. The conversation from there quickly turned to discussing their favorite plays—they turned out to have a few in common, and a few that they heartily disagreed on, which prompted a long but mostly good-natured argument. They talked until they grew so sleepy their voices started to slur and stumble, faces close together on either side of the wall of pillows.

Logan wasn’t quite sure when he’d drifted off, or if it had been before or after Janus, but neither of them bothered to put the pillow back and close the wall up again before they slept.

Taglist (ask to be added/removed!): @icecoldflames @theimprobabledreamersworld @simplestoryteller @cromatheskeleton

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #thatsthat24 #loceit #logan sanders #janus sanders #ts logan #ts janus #ts fic #ts fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #trans logan #trans janus #i'm taller than you fic #sandersxchange21

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someonemadeofstardust · 4 years ago

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the star signs as people from my life

aries: some of my favourite people. the hard workers (although a lot of the hard work goes unnoticed because it’s pretty under-the-surface, behind-the-scenes, feet-paddling-under-the-water stuff). absolutely beautiful, unfairly photogenic. a good sense of style that’s also constantly changing. more sensitive than you’d think. naturally quite athletic. neat freaks. easiest people to hold a conversation with (mostly because they laugh at anything and make you feel better about your jokes). although they seem like they’re always happy and easygoing, they are some of the worst people at opening up. you’ll never know anything’s wrong until, one day, you see them crack and it sucks.

taurus: underappreciated people. they’re actually more talkative than you’d think; their voices are just quiet. quick to laugh. incredibly loyal. the “hey, i noticed you look down, is everything all good?”, “it’s okay, i’ll wait” friends. very distinct personalities (i don’t really know how to explain this but they’re the kind of person who, when you see a tiktok or something, you just clearly think it’s them). calming presence. they don’t all have cold hands but they give cold hands vibes, yknow? they give off big “friends to lovers” vibes; like, i can’t imagine them dating someone who wasn’t first a friend.

gemini: they have a bad rep for being two-faced but, honestly, i don’t see it. again, they’re some of my favourite people. very good at noticing changes in mood + being tactful about it. fast to get super excited (and super loud) about things. they’ll sit with you on the bad days and laugh with you on the good ones (basically, they’re really great friends). even when you push them away, they’re the ones who’ll stay, just at a distance, and they’ll understand. underrated sense of humour - very witty. smart.

cancer: personally, i think they’re the most closed-box sign (does that make sense?). they never (completely) open up to people. or if they do, they usually end up regretting it. good liars. the coolest people - they own record players and shave their heads and have cool style and are beloved by their friends. i just want them to be okay. probably still awake at 2am. probably still awake at 2am because they’re crying. super low self-esteem which doesn’t make sense because.... seriously.... have you ever seen a cancer, they’re gorgeous. touch-starved. very, very, very loyal; they get super attached to their friends. usually in a corner at a party - but they’re very good at being social in their corners, if that makes sense.

leo: i don’t really know how to describe it but i know a lot of leos and they’re all just so distinctly leos but i can’t figure out what it is that makes them leos and it’s frustrating me. they all give off the vibe that they have a “sense of responsibility” if that makes sense? they have really distinct - but also really witty - senses of humour. clear plans for the future. fast bounce-back. a little too scared of being unloveable and dying alone (because they’re all convinced it’s going to happen). awkward but in a comfortable way. the most loyal people. they also have a lot of stuff going on under the surface and they’ll usually allude to it but never share all of the details. very active on group chats.

virgo: my experience with virgos is limited. all my friends used to be virgos and then i became an introvert and now i associate only with people not born in september. from memory, they’re all fairly loud, life-of-the-party people. very loyal friends - most of the time, you’ll notice that their closest friendships (not friendship groups) don’t change very often. outdoorsy people. not exactly photogenic but also very photogenic at the same time. hard workers (you don’t always expect it but they really do try their best). passionate. funny.

libra: the best flirts. the stereotype is true. they’re also the life-of-the-party but not necessarily in an obvious way. just... they’re fun to be around so people want to be around them. conversations flow naturally - usually a lot of teasing. lots of random skills/talents that one day you’ll find out about and be like... “woah okay”. effortlessly smart - usually, they’ll be able to pull through most things with minimal work. adaptable. they definitely, definitely hold grudges so never get on a libra’s bad side, not unless you want all of their friends to also hate you. good at keeping in touch with people. the best inside jokes - six years later and it’ll still be funny.

scorpio: i mean... i know scorpios but i also don’t know scorpios. they’re pretty quiet (and some people say that they’re intimidating) before you get to know them but, as soon as they’re comfortable around you, you’d be surprised by how loud they can be. not necessarily talkative, just loud. not afraid to be mean to you. they have the longest-lasting friendships - not necessarily out of loyalty, just out of a fear of strangers. lots of obscure talents. very artistic. there’s always going to be a lot of long silences with them but not in an awkward way. reliable.

sagittarius: they get bored easily but they’re also super terrified of abandonment so, together, not the best combo for stable relationships (which includes friendship). they have a lot of close friends but also, no close friends, because they push and pull people regularly. say “i want to travel” 24/7. actually, they say a lot of things and don’t actually go through with them. their self-esteem is so low it’s a little concerning. give random compliments all the time. they hate being touched but also love being touched - it really changes at any given time, according to just how sad they are at any given moment. terrible at hiding their emotions but equally terrible at opening up (so you always know that something’s wrong but never know exactly what’s wrong until they eventually tell you seven months later). give them 10 business days to reply to your texts.

capricorn: i really don’t think i’ve ever had a close capricorn friend. or even just a capricorn friend. they’re usually extroverted but not the loud kind of extrovert - they’re happy just being with their friends, sitting back and listening to the conversation, only contributing occasionally. they laugh easily. supportive, reliable. funny but not noticeably so - the kind of person who mumbles sarcastic comments and makes the person sitting beside them crack up.

aquarius: aggressive as fuck. if they don’t like you, you’ll know. and if they don’t like something, everyone will know; they literally have no filter - which is funny if you’re their friend and annoying if you’re not. very, very loyal. they will not hesitate to start a fight on your behalf. pretty outdoorsy people. they’re also definitely not straight. they have super strong opinions and it’s pretty hard to get them to change them. really random taste in music - if you ever stalk their spotify, you’ll see the most unexpected songs in there. they’re actually super easy to talk to - they laugh easily and are pretty encouraging in conversations, as long as they like you. they get angry, instead of sad.

pisces: they will tell you anything. literally the biggest oversharers but in the funniest way. very touchy people - just drawing patterns on your leg, comparing hand sizes, plaiting your hair. they give “old soul” vibes - like, holding eye contact, running into forests, long skirts and dresses and hair. intimidating because of all that big dick energy. again, cold hands vibes. they’ll send you lots of random tiktoks. reads fantasy and smut. no sense of shame. seriously the most beautiful people - not photogenic but that just means they amaze you when you see them in real life because they’re genuinely stunning.

#i know like three things about astrology so this is all based on vibes and experience #aries gemini and cancer are superior i will take no arguments #it's funny when you know which one i am #zodiac signs #tag yourself #types of people #astrology #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

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jackoshadows · 3 years ago

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“We are not racist” yells the crowd after spending 3 seasons nitpicking and singling out Maria Deluca for anything she does. Literally

If she doesn’t get any writing and is sidelined - I don’t like her because she’s underdeveloped

If she gets writing and is central to the plot - Why is she taking away so much screentime from other characters.

Why this need to have other characters yell at her or show that she has flaws? She has flaws - you guys are pointing it out each episode. Kyle repeatedly castigates Maria for being single minded about finding out who is in the coffin.

The nitpicking of the writing for her, when pretty much every character on this show has problematic, bad writing.

Entire essays on why she is evil because she risked Max’s life jumping off a building. Meanwhile Alex knowing about Maria’s visions and absolutely not caring that any of his friends may die? Just bad writing.

Maria is the devil for being rude and dismissive towards Michael, but Alex being rude and dismissive towards Michael? Aww, poor baby is just trying to protect Michael, he’s stressed, the writing is bad, the writers are homophobic, Michael is being an ass.

The writers not spending time on Malex? Homophobia. The writers not spending time on Miluca, an inter-racial relationship? Miluca is trash, Michael doesn’t love Maria because COSMIC LOVE.

These writers are just not that good at writing characters, relationships or plot points. Even Echo has problematic elements with how Max allowed Liz and her family to be tormented for so many years. And if Rosa/Wyatt happens? Hell no! Makes no sense for Rosa as a character.

It’s a silly, entertaining CW show about aliens. But of all the characters, the hypocritical singling out of Maria is why the misogynoir in this fandom stands out. As others have pointed out Liz was sidelined last season for Michael and the whole Alex/Michael kidnapping plot towards the end. Where was all this outrage about Liz being sidelined then?

And quoting a Spoiler frigging TV review written by one you is not the validation you guys think it is. It’s Spoiler TV, not Alan Sepinwall.

The hate many of you have for even Heather Hemmens - not wanting her to direct, accusing her of influencing the story, being a bad actor. All the while thirsting over Blackburn.

And Blackburn’s lucky he is in a little known CW show and other mainstream indigenous actors don’t know of him. They have spoken up before in other cases like this both behind the camera and in front of it.

Like for the Yellowstone casting of a non-native American actor playing a main character.

Before the first season of Yellowstone began airing, Native American actor Adam Beach, best known for his roles in Windtalkers, Flags of Our Fathers and Suicide Squad, took to Instagram to criticize a particular casting decision. Over a picture of actress Kelsey Asbille he posted the words, "Failure of diversity. I'm asking my Native actors to stay away from this project."

https://www.looper.com/199689/the-truth-about-yellowstones-casting-controversy/

Of course, Beach is just one person. Buzzfeed published an article about the controversy which included interviews with other Native American actors and industry professionals who spoke to a diversity of opinions within the native community on people who possibly have Native American ancestry — but who did not grow up in a native community — playing native roles.

Joely Proudfit, Ph.D, who helps run a group that consults on Native American representation in media called The Native Networkers, said of the controversy, "I don't want to minimize this to one individual... That's the crumbs on the floor, not the cake on the table."

Actor and Chair of the SAG-AFTRA National Native Americans Committee DeLanna Studi pointed out that a huge part of the issue is the fact that Native American actors rarely get opportunities outside of the small number of native roles available at any given time. "If it was more of a level playing field — where our Native actors were being cast as leads in How to Get Away With Murder or Grey's Anatomy, where they can just be a human being — then there wouldn't be this need for us to be protective of the roles that are just for us."

Even the showrunners of the recent Reservation Dogs mentioned how most Hollywood casting agencies take the easy way out because they don’t want to reach out to the Reservations for actors. So if someone living in LA comes in saying that he is NA, naturally they are going to be eager to cast him, taking away from an actual NA actor. And that explains why Blackburn keeps getting these roles

And the fact that Blackburn’s not even apologized or acknowledged the impact of what he did? Terrible. But yeah, it’s Heather Hemmens who should not be allowed to direct because she plays a fictional character in scenes written and directed by someone else. GTFO.

#Roswell New Mexico #RNM fandom #Fandom nonsense #Maria Deluca #Heather Hemmens #Tyler Blackburn

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childofaura · 3 years ago

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I finally got to watch the Trollhunters movie...

And it was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Waited to watch it so I could watch it with my friend, and good thing too because boy, we were screaming.

Spoilers under the cut, with my criticisms:

So the only pros I could really say we had:

1. Strickler and Nomura were back.

2. The animation was pretty cool.

And that’s it. That’s pretty much the only thing I can think of that was positive about this film.

Nnnnow, we’ve got the criticisms:

1. Nomura and Strickler’s deaths. Holy hello, can you say “cheap-shot deaths”? Also you’d have thought that Nomura would have died earlier given that they were at the top of the Titan with no cover. Couldn’t they make armor, or something? Either way my queen didn’t deserve that death.

2. Needless conflict for Jim feeling like he’s not fit to be the Trollhunter anymore; literally everyone felt like they couldn’t stop the incantation unless Jim’s amulet was working?

3. Steve was reduced to the shallowest character I could imagine. Also... the pregnancy thing? Really? Were they trying to top off Jimmy Neutron in most awkward alien pregnancy? And I guarantee that joke wouldn’t fly if the genders were reversed, but apparently teen pregnancy’s a funny joke when it’s a guy :/ (inb4 people say “it’s just a joke”: Yes I know. But like I said, reverse the genders and I know people would throw a shitfit).

4. The cat-dragon (I can’t be bothered to remember his name, I’m sorry) did not even feel like a sacrifice. You’re telling me the Chinese trolls can’t just make another horngazel? Speaking of which, the horngazel just... breaks? No rhyme or reason to it, a thing that has never had durability issues breaks so we can have story-driven conflict.

5. Everything about Tobes’ death. This series has spent so much time minimizing Tobey being Jim’s friend in favor of giving Jim more screen time with Claire, so much that it feels like they saw Tobey as enough of a lesser character that it was safer to kill him off. His death felt more insulting than honorable.

6. The whole plot in general just felt... underwhelming. You give the sorcerers (I refuse to call them gods, they couldn’t do jack shit unless they have something to boost their powers) these crazy time-traveling relics, something that could... I dunno... be used to pull back villains from the past (Bullar, Gunmar, Zeron Brotherhood, Morando, King Arthur, etc), liven up the antagonist cast a bit, and all it’s really used for is making big Titans that through a really crappy plot twist can destroy the world.

7. People will hate me for this, and it’s fine, I don’t care: Everything involving Claire. This is all my subjective opinion so if you don’t feel this way, that’s totally okay, but: Claire is the most shallow two-dimensional female character in the show whose only drive is just Jim. And it just gets worse through the series. She’s supposed to be the “wahmen empowerment” character that female viewers are supposed to connect with, but I’ve only ever hated her. The movie (And the series in general but let’s focus on the movie) makes her unbelievably powerful when plot demands it, useless when it’s needed, and motivated by absolutely no one else but Jim. Literally nothing can hinder her or make her suffer consequences; Make a giant portal despite being “spent”? Oh she just faints for like five minutes and she’s awake and perfectly fine just in time for the plot. Going to the Chinese Troll Market without bringing a weapon? That’s okay, she can just disarm a guard and use a weapon literally physically impossible for her to wield due to the weight difference, and something she’s never had training with.

Let me just say we were absolutely cheated to have not gotten Book Claire. We could have had a Scottish descendant of a warrior race who actually has standards, but instead we get someone unworthy shoe-horned into the role who was made more important than she really should have been.

8. That whole ending, like... what? The point of the amulet is that it’s supposed to have chosen the one it thought was the most worthy. I get that in the fake time-travel episode of Season 2, if Jim hadn’t accepted it, it would have gone to someone else, but there’s no way it would have just automatically switched to Tobey. And what is that supposed to mean, now? Isn’t that just gonna fuck up Jim’s relationships with everyone? Blinky won’t be his mentor and therefore won’t become the surrogate father figure, Strickler won’t go through his trials with Jim because he’s not the one he has eyes on as a target and therefore won’t bond, Draal will no longer be Jim’s brother-in-arms... did they get a greenlight to make a what-if season or is this the end, and it’s supposed to be left up to our interpretation? And how is THAT supposed to save Tobey?

9. Also an added note: Naari’s death had no impact. You killed a character whose build-up to the main cast was all done off-screen between seasons. Did I like Naari? I did, she was cute and well-designed and I liked that she was so fond of Douxie. Did I feel sad when she died? Not really. Also, what the hell was with the inconsistencies of the Titans and the sorcerers? They didn’t explain if they could only be felled by each other or not, you’d think the bombs would have hurt the ice guy when they exploded, but the golem just re-creates itself again; but suddenly Naari stabs him and THAT hurts?

This whole thing was a mess. My other friend was right, I can see why this movie made people mad.

#Trollhunters #3Below #Wizards #Tales of Arcadia #This whole movie just ended up pissing me off #As far as I'm concerned the series could have just ended with Wizards #Like maybe I can just pretend that this movie never happened #And look I get it; writing for a movie is effin' HARD #you've only got so much time #But really it just feels like they were mis-handling characters #Or stumbling with their plot #I partially blame Netflix but they can't be 100% responsible #Also I'm like 90% sure I'll invoke the anger of people who like Claire but I MUST establish once again: It is my subjective opinion #And my opinion should mean nothing to you; it won't prevent you from liking her or anything #But as someone who is technically supposed to be an audience that she was created for: I truly hate her #Oh and I hate Aja too #They try to make these characters 'strong independent women' characters but they only ever make them insufferable #The only female characters I really liked were Nomura and Naari #Morgana was actually pretty cool too but her 'redemption' was handled poorly #Like it made sense that her past self was sympathetic and much more willing to work with others #But then once she gets dragged back from the shadow realm or whatever for plot convenience she just... drops all that malicious personality #But yeah Nomura Naari and Morgana are way more appealing to me than Claire or Aja

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paenling · 4 years ago

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i just saw the wildest post and the notes were even wilder so i have some Thoughts.

i don’t want to antagonize anybody -- but listen y’all ,,, it’s not a moral failing to enjoy and be intrigued by a flawed character. it’s not a moral failing to explore things that are “problematic” from the safety of fiction. that’s kind of the whole point!

continued ramblings below the cut -->

yes, it’s important to be critical of harmful narratives, but acknowledging a character’s flaws and essentializing them are two different things. (and not just silly little quirks, like real, serious flaws with consequences)

in regards to Daniil Dankovsky’s Canonical Racism, it’s indisputably horrible. he’s wrong and he should absolutely face consequences for being a racist prick, but a significant part of the narrative of pathologic is about dealing with racism. pretty much every character, including other fan-favorites like Lara, are racist. like. at least a little bit. a huge chunk of Artemy’s arc is about confronting his own relationship with race. he can ALSO be horrifically racist to the Kin on purpose in order to take advantage of his ability to pass as white. but we like soft stories, so we disregard these timelines in favor of Big Dad Energy and heart-of-gold shenanigans.

to definitively fill that role and prey on those doubts, Daniil ends up serving a narrative purpose. he’s a deliberate foil character who challenges Artemy’s values and mirrors his insecurities, and what’s more he’s a crucial figure for a lot of people’s experiences with the story of the game, especially for those who played patho 1 first. from Daniil’s perspective, and indeed from the player’s perspective when entering with the Bachelor’s route, the way he acts is completely reasonable. this weird creepy town is full of backwards liars who wanna waste your time until you die. the whole point of the game is for you to play as Danko, agree with his feelings, and then spend the Haruspex route feeling shame and laughing at how much of a fucking idiot he is. that’s the point. you’re supposed to laugh.

condemning anyone who likes him, even in a cheeky little “haha look at this fail doctor he is endeared to me but only because he’s an idiot” sort of way, is just... not fair? especially when taking into account that most of the relevant fan content (at least as far as i’ve seen) ends up directly confronting his bigotry as The pivot-point of conflict between him and Artemy, and the thing that must be corrected and compensated for before their relation can continue platonically or romantically. like. bruh. i would understand if this was something that people kept trying to minimize or act like it was alright, but literally zero people are doing that. everyone agrees that he’s a shithead. nobody’s making excuses for it or saying it’s OK.

I also love that this attitude is like “i dont like that people ship our beloved ~tyoma~ with a stinky little weenie rat man whom i hate” when there are CANON continuities in which Artemy is a straight-up psychopathic child-murdering organ trafficker. like. chill. he’s not our golden boy, he’s an entire adult who can decide what kind of dandy-ass manlet he wants to start a beautiful life with or whatever. there are worlds in which they are shitty enough to deserve each other, and there are worlds where both of them are working together to be better.

it’s 1000% alright and fair to not like the ship and not want anything to do with it, but to assign a blanket moral judgement and condescend to anyone who thinks differently is profoundly immature imo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#Мор. Утопия #daniil dankovsky #burakhovsky #damn i guess this is discourse??#untitled plague game #pathologic

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liquorisce · 3 years ago

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High School Years, Ch 3: aftermath.

pairing: eren x mikasa (SnK)

rating: M. (nsfw)

Summary: for eren and mikasa, love was easy; they'd loved each other forever. but physical attraction? that's a whole other story.

read on ao3 | chap 2 | chap 1

The morning after the… “confrontation”, when they walk to school, they hold hands. It's a new dimension of their ‘relationship’, and the thought of calling it that, of calling Eren her ‘boyfriend,’ is something that makes her feel so many things.

“So um,” she begins, squeezing his hand a little bit, soft pink dusting her cheeks, as he turns to look at her questioningly. “... Are we going to tell the gang?”

For the briefest moment he looks confused, but when he sees her shy expression, not spelling it out because she doesn’t know how to say it yet, his eyes widen in understanding. “Ah that you and I...,” he colours, just a little bit, because it wasn’t until the words were literally at the tip of his tongue, that he realizes he doesn’t know how to say it either.

She’d said it last night, called him her boyfriend, and it did things to him, making his heart constrict with a nervous kind of excitement. Because he was Mikasa’s boyfriend, and that was something of an honour.

But another part of him, the part that recognizes what it means for a high school kid, just finds it completely lacking, he doesn’t want to announce that he’s ‘dating’ Mikasa Ackerman, the word simply does not do it justice. And he sure as hell doesn’t want to hear her name in the gossip rings, from the mouths of shallow, boring girls who have little better to do than keep track of their high school reality show or from the dirty whispers of teenage boys who can’t control their hormones (if Eren is one of them, he doesn’t acknowledge it).

“... Maybe we could just keep it quiet? Just for a little while…” He watches her expressions searchingly, and she does that thing that she does, hides into her bangs when she doesn’t want him to see what she’s thinking and he panics, just a little.

“Hey, listen,” he stops her by the wrist, before they round the corner onto the street of their school. “... It’s not that I want to hide it,” he whispers, resting his forehead against hers, because god forbid she thinks he’s embarrassed or ashamed or anything short of absolutely ecstatic, “You know that, right?”

She closes her eyes and she lets the waves of insecurity pass her by. Surely, there was nothing more to worry about. He’d made no secret of the depth of his feelings last night. “Mm-hmm.” She feels his minty breath cool on her lower lip and she reaches up to press her mouth against his. It’s tentative, the way she does it, reserved and shy but completely incomparable. It’s like everything she does, he thinks breathlessly, as he deepens the kiss. There’s no one like her.

She threads her hands into his already messed up hair, breathing harshly as she breaks away from his kiss. “I don’t mind,” she agrees, “... I think I’d like it to be just between us for a while…”

And because he’s so grateful that he’s in love with his best damn friend, who knows him and understands him like nobody else, he kisses her again… just because he can.

…

They know. He doesn’t know how they know, but they fucking know, and he mutters unhappily under his breath, “... fucking vultures, the whole lot of them.”

Armin smirks, not unsympathetically. They’d mutually decided to tell him (rather, he spotted them holding hands, and he’d almost cried in happiness), even though Eren had been somewhat sour about it, sulking when Mikasa had pointed out that they obviously needed to tell Armin. Eren was a brat, and a jealous one, especially where Mikasa was concerned, so despite having ample proof by now that the kiss between Armin and her had meant nothing, it remained a sore topic for him.

“Isn’t it easier this way? At least now you won’t have to stare down all the boys queuing up to ask for her number in the cafeteria.”

“... That’s not the point,” Eren sulks, even though he knows Armin has a point (he always does), the phenomenon he’d described was a canonical and frequent event that he actively loathes, because Mikasa was quite free with her personal details that way.

( It’s high school, Eren , she’d told him exasperatedly one day when he’d actually brought it up to her, if I don’t give them my number they’ll get it from someone else anyway. Besides, the block functionality is quite useful .)

Somehow Eren is fairly certain that knowing she was in a relationship wouldn’t be enough to deter potential suitors (/ fanboys) and as they walk towards their class, he spots the best example of this crass behaviour in none other than his horse faced friend chatting up his girlfriend, who seemed to be fairly liberal with her smiles.

Armin watches the scene from right next to him and snorts, barely able to contain his laughter. “... You’re so transparent, Eren.”

“Clearly the news hasn’t reached everyone,” he clears his throat, tearing his gaze away from the beauty and the beast, trying his best to remain civil and not scare his girlfriend away in less than 24 hours of them being, you know, together .

“This is what you wanted,” Armin reminds him, clapping his shoulder sportingly, barely able to contain his grin.

…

She tugs nervously at her hair, feeling ridiculously exposed despite the fluffy maroon scarf around her neck. She hadn’t been prepared for the events of yesterday, be it the emotional confession, or the heated kisses, or the possessive nips at her neck.

She certainly wasn’t prepared for the self consciousness that came with the marks he left on her, and had absolutely no knowledge of the make up skills required to cover it. (It hadn’t helped that it had taken Armin less than two minutes to spot the hickeys.)

But what she was least prepared for, is how almost everyone seemed to know, without her even having to open her mouth, and how they all seemed to have an opinion.

… Aw, but I was really counting on him getting back together with Krista… they were so cute…

… I wonder how long he’ll stay with this one…

… wait, Mikasa Ackerman? Aren’t they like practically siblings or something? Ewwww~

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to gag, or if she wanted to hide… or both.

She doesn’t hide. Because Mikasa Ackerman is a class act and despite feeling completely torn up listening to bitchy people talk about her like she does not possess hearing, she goes through the day looking outwardly untouchable.

But after trudging through the entire day of listening to absolute bullshit rumours and whispering, she’s pretty sure she feels a migraine incoming. Groaning to herself, as she takes out her notebook from her locker, she finds herself face to face with a chirpy voice that she once hated.

“... Hey,” Krista says, with a small smile. “... rough day, huh.”

Mikasa nods, it’s not that she dislikes the cute blonde in front of her (not too much, anyway), it’s just that today was not the day she wants to be visually reminded of her existence. Because watching her, in her white miniskirt and pink sweater, perfect blonde hair and her perfect smile, is reminiscent of all the days she hid in her room with only her insecurity for company.

“So um,” Krista begins, because Mikasa can be comfortable in her silence, just looking at Krista questioningly. “... Everyone’s talking about it, basically,” she blurts out, unable to help herself.

“And if you want to know whom to smack, it’s Hitch, because she says she saw you guys holding hands outside school and making out, and she snapchatted it to the whole world, because that’s what she does and,” - Mikasa’s eyes narrow and Krista takes a deep breath.

“Look, I just wanted to reach out, and you know,” she clears her throat, like it was obvious what she was doing here. Mikasa just looks blank, feels blank. “... Like, I don’t want it to be awkward or anything, between us,” Mikasa is genuinely confused at this point, because there didn’t have to be an us, between her and Krista, their social circles were comfortably distant enough to have as minimal interaction as possible. “... You seem like a great person, and honestly, I’m not even surprised you guys ended up together. It was just a matter of time, I guess.”

She smiles earnestly as she says this, and Mikasa finds herself liking the short blonde despite herself, and offers a smile back. “... Thanks, that’s sweet of you.”

“And um,” Krista offers, completely casually, “... I could lend you some concealer if you wanna… you know, cover that up.”

…

“Snapchat!” Sasha wails theatrically, “... I can’t believe this is what our friendship has boiled down to.”

Mikasa has the grace to look guilty. “Explain to me, bestie ,” Sasha can be quite scary when she has her manic face on, “why, I had to receive a snap from the school’s number one hoe, informing me of the fact that my best friend had finally hooked up with her absolute thirst trap of a roommate.”

She doesn’t have much to say to defend herself, she simply slinks lower into her seat. “... I’ll buy you lunch for a week,” Mikasa whispers, defeated.

“Oh you better,” Sasha declares, still fuming. “... Snapchat, are you fucking kidding me…” She turns around once more, sizing Mikasa up deliberately. “... What about that time I walked in on you guys, in the kitchen, and he didn’t have a shirt on?” Sasha narrows her eyes accusingly. “... Were you two already…? Did you lie to me back then?”

“No! God, no,” Mikasa vaguely wonders why she sounds so defensive and apologetic about her own love life, but she remembers that Sasha is upset and for what it’s worth, she loves her like a sister, so she says, “... I swear, there was nothing between us then. It only happened, like… last night.”

Mikasa blushes as she says it, and the twinkle returns to Sasha’s brown eyes. “You must tell me everything,” she commands, and despite her sighing and blushing and giggling, Mikasa does exactly that.

...

He waits for her as they walk back from school. This is new too. Well not entirely, they’d walk back together, the three of them, Him, Mikasa and Armin, everyday in middle school, but high school had brought them different routines, and a distance that he was happy to get rid of.

“So…” he says as he slips his fingers between hers. “So much for our plan to keep it quiet.”

She burrows her head into his arm, “... everyone knew. Literally everyone.” After a minute, she adds reproachfully, “The hickeys you left on my neck didn’t help, either.”

He grins despite the glare she gives him. Embarrassing or not, he didn’t regret it one bit, not the moments that led up to those anyway... the way she’d found herself on his lap, fitting so perfectly in his arms, and against his mouth. The way she’d gasped when he’d let himself explore the sensitive skin on her neck.

He understands her situation, but god, there was no way he’d apologize for the sheer sensation he’d felt in that moment.

Tugging at her scarf to see his own handiwork, he can’t help his disappointment when he sees only a faint outline of them on her pretty skin. “... I see you’ve covered them up.”

“Ah,” Mikasa grins, “... that was your ex, actually.”

She feels him still, letting go of her hand for a brief moment. “... What?” Eren blinks nervously. They don’t really talk about his ex, not much more than they did yesterday anyway, and he wishes they’d never have to, not now that he knows perfectly well how much it had hurt Mikasa.

“You… um, spoke to her today?”

Mikasa nods, “... She came by to say hello, yeah.” And because Eren looks extremely uncomfortable at the thought, she giggles and tells him, “She says she didn’t want things to be awkward between us.”

Eren groans, “... this sounds like the teaser to every high school drama ever.” But despite his sarcasm, he was worried because despite Mikasa’s unassuming popularity in school, she lived her life outside of the cliques, the gossip rings, the drama… and Krista, sweet that she was, was somehow always in the thick of it.

“Don’t worry,” Mikasa says sweetly, “... if you want me to tell you that we had a catfight over you, prepare for disappointment.”

He grins in relief and asks, “... Is it so wrong to indulge in the fantasy of you fighting with another girl over me?” And because he can’t help himself, he adds, “You’d win for sure, Mikasa.”

…

As long as she can remember, Mikasa had been in love with Eren. It wasn’t complicated, or confusing for her, she’d loved him and she’d always known it.

When she was younger she had less trouble expressing it, they played together all the time, and she shared her toys with him, her sweets, and promised his mom she would take care of him when he got into trouble.

During her darkest days (after losing her parents), he would look after her, keep an eye out for her, tuck her in sometimes and sleep by her side when she had nightmares. Back then it was easier to ask for his attention - Eren could you stay with me, she remembers her 12 year old self asking, sniffling in the night, with no inhibitions, just a young girl asking for comfort from the boy she shared everything with.

(He’d given her everything she asked for graciously, fussing over her in his own way, watching over her even when she didn’t notice.)

It’s the ‘how’ that increased in complexity, the way she wanted more and more as the years went by, until the point where her love for him was a complete stranger. It was frustrating when she first realized it, when she realized she looked at him more often than usual… when she realized she wanted him to look at her too.

Growing up they’d watch movies together, and she’d often wonder about the way the hero kissed the heroine at the end of the movie, and wondered if someday Eren would kiss her like that. Most of all she wondered if Eren thought about it too.

When he started dating, that became amply clear to her - he thought of kissing, and to her unfortunate attention, it became clear that he thought of much more too. Those months were incredibly difficult for Mikasa because not only did she have to go through life like nothing had changed - ostensibly nothing had, not between them - but she had to police every indiscrete thought when he walked around after his shower without a shirt on, she had to control her gaze every time it fell on his beautiful mouth, wondering exactly what it would feel like against hers.

And for the first time in the longest time, Mikasa could no longer love Eren the way she always had, openly and without shame, she could no longer ask of him his care and attention.

But it feels like overnight so much has changed, she can barely comprehend it. Eren is so generous with his attention (his love), she wonders if the last couple of years of distance was the doing of her own imagination.

He is so free with his touches, sometimes gentle on her waist, sometimes tender on her face, sometimes rough in her hair (this excites her most of all). She no longer has to wonder if he’d ever kiss her like in the movies, he kisses whenever he damn pleases, and it always, always takes her by surprise. And it is so much better than she has ever imagined.

…

He saunters in as she prepares the tofu carefully, and because Mikasa is a perfectionist in everything she does, she’s concentrating completely on flipping each piece at the perfect moment when they turn golden brown.

But because Eren finds literally everything she does impossibly cute, he wraps an arm around her waist and kisses her gleefully on the cheek. It has the desired effect, she gasps, dropping her fork, and he catches her in an open mouthed kiss.

He manages to distract her for a good couple of minutes until she smells the tofu becoming decidedly darker than golden brown. “Erennn,” she whines, “... my tofu is ruined!”

“I’m sure it’ll taste wonderful,” he says because she’s an excellent cook, but also because he’s slightly affronted that by the way she pulls away in complaint.

“Please. Go sit,” she swats him away, making him pout adorably. He does as he is told and waits till she plates the food minutes later, and he’s pleased to say that he was absolutely right, it did taste wonderful.

But he’s more eager to eat up as soon as possible and finish what he tried to start a few moments ago.

“What are you going to do after dinner?” The answer he wants to hear is I’d like to make out with my boyfriend , but just as he expected, Mikasa’s mind is on a slightly different wavelength.

“... Hmm,” she eyes him suspiciously, “... I guess I’ll finish cleaning up and read the latest chapter in English Lit before bed, and just drift off to sleep. Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” he states innocently. “... I’ll help you clean up.”

He changes the topic before they have a chance to linger, and does good on his promise to clean up as fast as he can. It’s ridiculous the way he’s acting, and he doesn’t understand it himself, but he can’t seem to help himself. He can’t seem to stop looking at her, can’t seem to stop craving her, whether it’s the closeness of her body or the taste of her lips, and he’s pretty certain the way he’s acting right now is downright embarrassing, but somehow since its with Mikasa, he feels emboldened.

Or at least that’s how he’d felt until recently. Of late there’s been just the slightest amount of doubt that’s crept in. He finds himself wondering if it’s just him who feels this way, this inexplicable urge, and he wishes that she’d be the one reaching for him more often.

“Thanks, Eren,” she murmurs, breaking him out of his intense internal monologue, when she reaches over and brushes a chaste kiss on his cheek. It warms him instantly, immediately making him want more.

He dries up and follows her out of the kitchen, and as she turns into her room, he grabs her wrist and says, “... Mikasa, wait,” and when she flips her head to look at him, he nestles her against the wall and whispers, “... I just wanted to say goodnight,” before kissing her full on the mouth.

For all that he internally complains about her not initiating their kisses enough, she responds beautifully to him, opening her mouth to him, and slipping her tongue inside, gasping when his fingers slip under her shirt, brushing softly above her ribcage. She slides one hand around his neck and the other clutches his shirt, pulling him so close to her, he revels in the feeling of her body pressed against hers.

He doesn’t even know how, or why, because he isn’t thinking when he’s kissing Mikasa, just going with it, running on the sheer feeling of it all, because he just gives into her - but she’s got both arms around his neck and he’s pressing her so firmly against the wall, tongue shameless in its exploration of her mouth, he slips one of his legs between hers.

She likes it, likes the pressure between her legs and she finds herself moving against him, grinding almost, embarrassingly, and she doesn’t even register consciously, until she feels him hard and pressed up against her thigh. She makes an embarrassing noise, something between a gasp and a moan, and suddenly his eyes snap open, all too conscious of their position.

She feels him twitch against her, and she can barely breathe with the excitement of it all, the newness… the feeling. He looks at her like a different person, green eyes heady and searching, holding her in a heated gaze. But in the most crushingly confusing move, he steps back and whispers “good night,” before turning towards his own room.

Quite frankly, she doesn’t know what to do with herself. Any more of that and she would’ve melted into jelly all over the leg that was between her thighs. And instead of pursuing that intense, boneless feeling, she finds herself catching her breath alone in the hallway with a confoundingly novel ache between her legs.

…

He watches her at the tennis court the next day; he drags Armin with him.

He’s never cared much for the game itself, only knows the basic rules because Mikasa’s been playing for years. She has a practice match today, against Jean, and he’d claimed he’d only wanted to see ‘his girl’ crush that horse face to the ground.

But the more he sits next to Eren, the more Armin feels decidedly uncomfortable. “Oi, Eren,” he says, when he’s fairly certain he’s had enough. Eren looks at him annoyed for being distracted from the game. “... What?”

Armin pinches the bridge of his nose before speaking, because how does he say this politely? “... You’re staring.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t huh me! You’re literally ogling her,” he hisses under his breath, “... it’s embarrassing, so please stop.”

He feels his face burn as he splutters, “I, I’m just watching the-,” he’s quite literally red by this point, “... Armin, what the fuck?” He just wants to hide, and so he hides his face in his hands.

He was right, he was staring, and he knew this because his mind had memorized the way she looked in that outfit, white tank top low cut and body hugging and giving him an excellent view as she moved. And he didn’t even want to comment on the way those shorts hugged her curves and how it flowed perfectly into her long, glorious legs.

If he could kick himself he would.

“What’s going on with you?” Armin asks, after he gives Eren a moment to recover from absolute mortification. Hesitating, he says, “... This isn’t the first time I’ve caught you staring at her like this recently.”

He looks at Armin helplessly, because he doesn’t know how to put it into words. “You can talk to me,” Armin coaxes him, “... you do embarrassing shit in front of me all the time anyway,” he supplies helpfully.

There’s conflict in his green eyes as he considers just how to say it, if he wants to at all. He’s still not a hundred per cent over the fact that Armin was Mikasa’s first kiss and if anyone could hold a (pointless) grudge it was Eren.

“However if you still choose to not talk to me about Mikasa because you are hung up over a stupid drunk kiss, then that’s completely fine with me too,” Armin says, reading Eren’s mind cheerfully.

“... You didn’t have to bring it up,” he says sullenly. Armin rolls his eyes. “... You’re thinking about it anyway, so I might as well talk about it.” He’s known him far too long to not understand the very simplistic nature of Eren’s thought processes.

“... I can’t stop looking at her,” he confesses, deciding to gloss over the discomfort of their kiss and focus on the main problem instead. “I hadn’t noticed,” Armin quips dryly, and Eren glares at him - so much for ‘ You can talk to me, Eren.’

“I’m losing my mind here, Armin,” trust Eren to always be dramatic, without fail, “... You can make fun of me all you want, but everytime I look at her, I,” he inhales sharply. “... God, I feel disgusting. It’s Mikasa for fuck’s sake.”

And It’s Mikasa whom his friend had always been slightly unhinged for, but Armin thinks better of saying this.

“... I feel like I just don't know how to look at her respectfully anymore,” and he says

this almost choked, so distressed, that Armin tries very very hard to suppress a laugh.

…

She wishes she hadn’t done it.

In a rare moment of weakness that she now regrets, she had given into Sasha’s ever curious inquisitions into her love life. And by love life here, Sasha was explicitly digging for the good stuff.

“Eh?!?”

Mikasa waits patiently for Sasha to return from her high pitched look of disbelief.

“... What do you mean you haven’t slept together yet?” Sasha asks, a bit calmer this time, but still urgently distressed about the matter.

“We just… haven’t,” Mikasa explains rather unsatisfyingly.

“So… do you like, want to wait or something? I thought you’ve been in love with him since forever…”

No matter how much she’s accepted that fact herself, it still makes her blush when she hears it out loud. “... It’s not like, I want to, um, wait or anything,” she confesses. Because she’s found herself thinking of the same thing every night since the time Eren had her against the wall, pinned against him and his hardness. It’s almost like it created a monster out of her, a monstrous desire that has her eyeing him out the corner of her eye whenever she gets the chance. It makes her seek him out more often, seek him out after his workout, after his shower, innocently, by accident of course, and she’s ashamed of herself.

“... You just need to jump him,” Sasha says, with the utmost seriousness. Like she knew anything at all on this subject. “And boy have I got the perfect thing to help you.”

…

Mikasa Ackerman is a huge fan of Marie Kondo. It was one of the curiously annoying yet cute things about her that Eren has an impressively large list of.

She’s watched the Netflix show more times than he can count, follows her on Youtube, and once he’d seen her pray to her room or some shit before she started cleaning. It mystifies him, and he doesn’t care enough to understand more so he just goes along with it.

Today she’s decided she has way too many clothes and she will only keep what “sparks joy” in her, so she’s strewn out her entire closet and demanded in the sweetest way that he helps her with her mission.

(She throws in the offer of trying out all her outfits before she throws them out, and Eren is horny for a fashion show or the moments in between so he readily agrees)

“... I’m not sure about this one,” she says, eyeing herself in the green dress critically.

Eren’s eyes bulged in disbelief. “... You’re kidding, you look like a fucking goddess, Mikasa.”

She blushes happily with the compliment, but Eren isn’t exaggerating. It’s a slinky strapless number which was incredibly short. And it had a slit. According to Eren, the slit could not be emphasized enough.

“... Your legs look incredible,” he says, providing her the only decent compliment he can muster. The rest he does his best to convey with eyes.

“... It just doesn’t feel like something I wear usually, you know… so I don’t know if it sparks joy...”

He resists the urge to roll his eyes, “Well, you should wear it. C’mere let me help you spark some joy,” he says, playfully pulling her down into the pile of clothes that made a poofy bed on the floor.

She giggles, settling over him happily, and for a moment his sappy little heart feels like it’s going to explode. He’s pretty sure her giggle is his most favourite sound in the whole world.

“... You’re insane,” he breathes, relishing in the way she feels on top of him, his hands sliding up her legs and resting just beneath the hem of her dress (just beneath her ass). She kisses him sweetly, tongue flicking gently on his lip and making him groan softly. His hands brush past her ass, caressing ever so softly as they come to rest on the small of her back.

She deepens the kiss, and he grabs her hips roughly, angling her mouth onto his in a way that suits him, gives him access and he sighs into her mouth. The view of her on top of him, is unparalleled, her thighs around his hips and her chest heaving temptingly with her harsh breathing. He closes his eyes and captures her mouth again before he makes a fool of himself in front of her again.

But she has her hands in his hair, and she’s pressing down, grinding down against his crotch, and he can feel himself pulse at every brush of contact, and he groans knowing fully well that there’s no way she can’t feel his length brush against her legs.

He doesn’t want to stop, or run away, because he’s ridiculously turned on at this point, and unwilling to let go of her, so he simply turns her around and pins her beneath him, taking advantage of the way she squeals, to slip his tongue into her mouth and taste her.

It’s so tempting having her beneath him like this, so he gives in and slips his leg between hers again, eager to have her rub against him like she did that day, with the faintest hint of a moan, like he hasn’t been able to forget.

His fingers entwine with hers and he stretches them above her head, wanting so much to just kiss her senseless, but they collide with a cardboard box and he spares a glance at it, in annoyance.

Until he squints and actually sees what it is. The label alone makes him blush, not to mention the contents that he could clearly see under the transparent plastic covering.

Mikasa looks up, dazed and a little bit disoriented from what was possibly the most intense make out session she had ever experienced. “... Eren?”

“Babe,” he rasps, choked, “... are you trying to tell me something?”

She follows his line of sight, and wants to hide, wants to die, wants to erase this moment from her very existence.

Her Sensual Pleasure kit, he reads, his mind effectively going numb as he comprehends the contents: a vibrator, a blindfold, some pink fuzzy handcuffs and what looks like a generous bottle of lube.

Somehow even though she forgot about this ridiculous thing, having stuffed it into her closet to forget all about the ridiculousness on her friend’s face when she gave it to her, it seems to have stumbled out into the light of day at the worst possible moment.

If she could murder Sasha and get away with it, she would.

“... I-It’s not what you think, Eren,” she mumbles, cheeks red and panicking, even though she has absolutely no idea what she wants him to think.

“I assure you,” he manages, “... I’m not really thinking right now, Mikasa.” Sure enough his mind had somewhat short circuited, barely able to handle the pressure of having his extremely sexy girlfriend beneath him and somehow simultaneously having discovered what appeared to be her sextoys .

Gingerly, he reaches for it, and he almost gasps, because the box had been opened and fiddled with. “Did you actually…”

He looks at her face, and it’s the colour of a tomato by this point, teeth biting her lower lip nervously, and he doesn’t know whether to laugh or if he is even more turned on.

“The vibrator, Mikasa, did you…?” His voice is so hoarse just imagining, it superseded any fantasies he’s had up until this point. “... Eren,” she whines, embarrassed, hiding her face in her hands.

“Please for the love of god, Mikasa, please just tell me, baby,” he’s pleading because he really needs to know at this point. He needs to know if he’s been going to bed in the room besides her without the potent knowledge that she’s been using this to relieve herself at night.

When she nods, just ever so imperceptibly, he’s pretty sure he’s going to combust. “... What did you think of when you were using it?” His voice sounds like a stranger’s.

She looks conflicted, looks unbelievably embarrassed, but he’s pretty sure he isn’t imagining it when he hears the faintest whisper from her saying, “... you.”

But that isn’t going to cut it, because he’s spent countless nights with a raging boner and raging guilt, as he jerked off to the most tantalizing moments he’s had with her… and he barely ever manages to look her in the eye the next morning. So he has to, no, he needs to know that he hasn’t been the only one in this absolutely ridiculous situation.

He kisses her hard, teeth grazing hers, mouth eager and greedy, and she responds to him with equal fervour. His head drops to her shoulder as he kisses her bare collarbone. “... If you knew how many times I’ve touched myself thinking of you, you wouldn’t be able to look at me the same again.”

His words are a deep, throaty confession that he whispers on her skin, and it brings a tingle down to her spine and all the way to her toes. She thrusts her chest upwards against him subconsciously.

“... I think of you too, you know… all the time,” she confesses, forgetting the very meaning of inhibition. It’s hard to remember it when he looks at her that way, heat burning from his verdant eyes, his grip firm against her hips. She doesn’t want to; doesn’t need it, if it means she can be this close to him.

“... Do you think you can show me?” he whispers, barely thinking through his requests through his lust-filled haze.

He sees her hesitating, contemplating, and he finds himself praying as his fingers inch up the dress and dig into the curves of her ass, lips delicate against the tops of her breasts.

“Only if you show me how you touch yourself,” she murmurs, and he can feel himself twitch in excitement.

She backs up against her bedpost and slips out of her panties, and Eren is absolutely, positively certain, he has never seen anything more appealing than when she slowly, deliberately, hikes up that beautiful green dress and spreads her legs.

He’s so lost in the sight before him, he forgets what he’s promised until she says, steel eyes determined, challenging him almost, “... your turn, Eren.”

He shucks his pants off gracelessly, he couldn’t make it look as artful as she does even if he tried, but he’s happy to be free of the restrictive material as he springs heavy and erect at the sight of her. “... Could you um, pass me the lube,” he asks, and she does, but not before squeezing some onto her own hand.

It’s hypnotic how she rubs it into herself, wet, and pretty and pink, and he jerks into his hand, slick and wanting, as he whispers, “... God, you’re beautiful.”

His words only serve to enhance the needy pressure between her legs, the tingling feeling that her slow circular motions were only making worse. She picks up the vibrator and turns it on, pressing it to her nub, the way she’s done a few lonely nights by herself, wishing it was him against her skin.

It’s different this time, because even though it’s her and the silicone toy, Eren’s gaze is like liquid fire on her skin, dark and licentious, and almost greedy. She throws her head back, shivering with pleasure and gasping.

“... What did you think of when you played with yourself?” He asks again, and this time she knows he wants a more specific answer.

“Your fingers,” she mumbles, and she finds the pleasure makes her startlingly more honest. He could ask anything of her, and she would tell him.

The idea, the thought of it, makes him twitch happily in his hand, and he jerks erratically, feeling an unbelievable urge come over him. “... Did you get wet thinking of my fingers on you, Mikasa?”

“Mm-hmm,” she nods, blushing prettily, high off the vibrating sensations. Without planning to, he crawls over between her legs and kisses her deeply, murmuring on her lips, “... then let me touch you, baby.”

It was her who was being stimulated, but he nearly groans into her hair at the feeling of her soft wetness, the way it feels against his fingers, the way her arousal coats him so eagerly.

“... I’ve wanted to touch you for so long,” he murmurs hoarsely, rubbing delicate circles across her nub, diligently favouring the area she had favoured mere moments ago. “Then why didn’t you,” she gasps at the last syllable, at the sudden intrusion of his long finger having slid deep inside her.

“... Sorry,” he says, sounding far too turned on to be sorry, “... you’re so wet, Mikasa.” He’s in awe, almost reverent of how warm she is, how easy.

She hangs on to his neck now, teeth grazing his neck, whispering, “... I want you, Eren.” Her breath is warm and damp and he’s unmistakably certain of what she asks.

“... Are you sure?” He asks, panting, hoping to god she’s sure, because he’s so ready, he’s been ready for a long time now, and he can barely control himself from leaking onto his own hand, when she says, “Yes.”

He makes sure she’s comfortable, or as comfortable as she can be on top of her clothes, and he commits everything to memory, the way she looks beneath him, the way her breasts heave when he pulls off the entirety of that dress, the way her nipples stiffen against his warm kisses. “... Please,” she whimpers, when he takes his time with her, taking the peaks of her breasts into her mouth and teasing ever so slightly with his teeth.

“... I can’t help it,” he rasps, “I want to touch you everywhere, you’re so pretty, babe, I,” -

He chokes, cut off, by the feeling of her delicate hands circling around him, pumping slowly as she guides him to her entrance. “Shit, Mikasa,” he curses, closing his eyes as he feels the sensation of her warmth against his tip.

It’s not his first time, but he feels like a stumbling virgin, murmuring desperate things as he feels her sheathe him completely, pausing only to pay attention to her comfort. Barely coherent, he asks, “... you okay?” She nods quietly, and his eyebrows furrow, looking at her questioningly. “Feels… so full,” she manages, with a feeble groan, and he can’t help but grin at how irresistible she is.

“... That’s because I’m supposed to fill you up, babe,” he whispers, not caring how far gone he is, because he slides out just a little only to spread her legs for him again, and slide back in. He tests the rhythm carefully, watching her expressions for any sign of discomfort, but the way she squeezes her eyes, the way she throws her head back with a gasp, just makes him lose whatever little control he had.

“Please tell me if I need to go slower,” he tells her, but judging from her reaction, from her moans, she only seemed to be egging him on.

It’s too much, he thinks, too much for him to possibly handle, not with the way she bucks her hips, and definitely not with the way she clenches needily around him.

And in a moment that he’ll probably never live down, he groans, “Fuck, babe, I’m going to,” - barely realizing with some consciousness to pull out of her tight, wet, core, and spills onto her stomach.

Mikasa’s never seen him make a face like that.

When he opens his eyes, she’s looking at him in wonder. And he’s looking at the mess he’s made on her stomach, and even though a small part of him only feels arousal at the sight of that, today he just feels like a massive asshole. “Shit,” he curses, not happy with how this played out at all. He reaches for the panties she’d so easily discarded and mops up his sticky release, mumbling, “... God, I’m so sorry, Mikasa. This was your first time, I can’t even believe,” -

“Eren,” she interrupts, because she doesn’t have time for this, his self-derision can come later. “... I, um…,” she clenches her thighs together, and he suddenly realizes that he hadn’t yet completely fucked shit up, he could still make her feel good, and that’s all he wanted.

He settles himself between her legs and spreads her folds open for him, feeling a familiar twitch at the pretty sigh in front of him. “I’ll take care of you, baby,” he whispers earnestly, before she feels his mouth on her folds. He kisses her like how he kisses her lips, like he wants to consume her, and if she thought it felt good against her own mouth, it felt only a million times better down there. He’s generous with his tongue, probing circling, sending her into a frenzy that only he could have managed.

She threads her fingers into his hair, gasping his name, prettily, holding on to him as she rides wave after wave of pleasure against his tongue.

When he lifts himself up and looks at her, he grins, his mouth shining because of her juices, and she closes her eyes swearing to herself that she will never forget that sight.

He collapses next to her, this time of a happier countenance because somewhere in his mind he’s judged this to be a fair exchange, and because Mikasa knows him so well, she can’t help but giggle.

“I’m not usually like this,” he asserts, once he’s caught his breath, and she’s barely managed to catch hers. She raises an eyebrow at him, amused. Trust Eren to be bothered about the unnecessary mechanics of his ego, barely minutes after their first time. “... I swear, next time I’m not going to let you go unless you have at least three orgasms. Minimum.”

“I guess I’ll have to hold you to it, Eren,” she murmurs, chuckling. “And before you freak out about the other thing; I’m on birth control, so don’t worry.” There’s silence, remarkably guilty silence, because he hadn’t thought about it, and that’s ridiculous because he’d never done it without a condom before, and if he ever feels like the biggest idiot on the planet, it’s at this moment.

“... I fucking love you, Mikasa,” he says sincerely, thanking the gods and this insane goddess right beside him, and this time she can’t help but laugh out loud.

a/n: edit: two whole weeks after posting ao3, i finally got around to putting this on tumblr.

to all those who have been on this journey with me, thank you so much. it's been so fun with these guys in the hsy verse.

i can't believe the story is over; i'm not ready to let go. going forward i may or may not right 3 more chapters each focusing on armin, historia, and jean respectively. i'm still mulling over it :)

i've recently been made aware that some people who read my stories are minors and i should be more mindful. so the note below -

i'd just like to clarify that it's fairly normal to be 18 yo in senior year of high school (at least where i'm from), which is when this last chapter takes place, so i did not feel the need to write age anywhere. i just want to clarify this; im no one to lecture any body on the appropriate age to be sexually active - as long as the person who you're with treats you respectfully and honours your consent. and respect your own limits and body.

HOWEVER I WILL ABSOLUTELY TAKE THIS MOMENT TO LECTURE YOU ON THE USE OF BIRTH CONTROL - PLEASE USE CONDOMS. please discuss birth control or std prevention with a sexual partner. DO NOT BE LIKE EREN AND FORGET JEEZUS. i'm 27 when i'm writing this so the last scene was just meant to be funny, especially his unbelievable sigh of relief when he finds out she had the foresight to be careful.

anyway, see ya and if it might interest you pls check out my mikasa stripper au ;) i'm very excited about it.

#eremika #liquorisce fanfiction #eremika smut #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #high school years

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sunnytwst · 4 years ago

Note

Hi there! First i wanna say that ur writing is so cute hdjxjcb i love it,, May i request headcanons with dorm leader x reader (as in couples) where the reader is always with their other friend for projects and studying so they don't spend that much time with their s/o, how the dorm leaders would react to that (it can be any type of headcanon). Take care of yourself!!!

hello anon!! osdifjsdoif thank you,,honestly i feel like all of y’all are so nice to me....n e ways here’s your request!! sorry it took a while,,

relationship: dorm leaders x gn! reader (romantic)

format: headcanons

genre: i am once again putting this under hurt/comfort but the hurt is minimal

warnings: none :-D

riddle rosehearts:

ah, sorry! i’ve already done headcanons for a request quite similar to this, you can find it here

azul ashengrotto:

does his best to work through his insecurities post-overblot but it’s really tough when school makes spending time together so difficult

sometimes he can’t help but wonder if you’re growing tired of him but the rational part of him that’s been trying to grow knows that it’s not your fault you keep getting assigned to be partners with someone else for projects

may or may not try to finesse the teachers into pairing you up more often but i can’t vouch for how well it went over with trein...

when it comes to you spending all your time studying he’s a well known workaholic so it makes him a bit of a hypocrite...

will try to lure you away from work by turning up the charm and promises of a night at the lounge, just the two of you, but if it doesn’t work he’ll turn into whiny baby azul and just cling to you until you finally agree to take a break

please give him cuddles and reassure him that you still love him and want to spend time with him :-((

leona kingscholar:

kinda annoyed tbh

maybe not at you directly but with school and the professors and all the work that’s been piling up and how it’s all getting in the way of some quality time with his lover

would never tell you that he misses you to your face though and would just grouch around, scowl deepening the longer the two of you are apart

definitely gives your project partner the stink eye across the classroom and in the halls

all your “i have to work” shit?? he’s not having it

stupid lion boy is clingier than he will literally ever aknowledge because he spent so long being second place and now that he’s first in your heart??? there’s no way he’s letting that go

would literally physically remove you from your spot bent over your desk, trap you in his arms, and fall asleep

struggle all you want but one look at the smooth, peaceful lines of his sleeping face and ah...maybe your assignments can wait

kalim al-asim:

honestly torture for this poor guy

he loves spending time with you and being able to hug you or give you a kiss and generally just really likes being near you

very understanding of your situation but might whine to a Very Tired jamil about how he wishes you guys were project partners because he misses you :-((

although to be fair the teacher stopped assigning you guys together because kalim having an excuse to talk to you during class would always turn out disastrously giggly

when he sees you finally show up at the party he’s hosting after being holed up in your room for a while he gets so excited!! his eyes light up and he starts bouncing around like a puppy in love

but he can tell that you’re distracted by the thought of all the work you could be doing as you sit and quietly sip on your drink and so he would invite you on a magic carpet ride above the clouds, just the two of you

the quality time together, soaring through the stars, makes you realize just how much you missed this and you spend the rest of the evening relaxing in each other’s arms

vil schoenheit:

copes pretty well initially but this is getting out of hand

another member of the tsun club who would never admit he misses you but it’s not hard for people around him like rook to tell that vil’s been a little snippy lately

understands that assigned partners are out of your reach and assures himself that you would definitely rather be with him than just another potato, right? right???

the busier you get the more time and effort he puts into his makeup and look everyday as if he’s trying to get your attention or flaunt his superiority to your poor project partner??

even if you don’t have time for a date be sure to shoot him a complimentary message on occasion to smooth his feathers

ah, spending all that time studying and working? don’t you know that’s terrible for your skin?

absolutely cannot stand the way that you’ve been looking so drained lately and whisks you away for a spa day

might not complain too terribly for once if you press kisses all over his face once the cucumber masks come off

idia shroud:

absolutely hates this because sure he was lonely before but now that he’s had a taste of outside affection?? there’s no turning back

would try to distract himself from the hole in the chest by playing games but then he can’t focus on the games because he’s thinking about you and it’s all just one vicious cycle

can’t help but be jealous of your project partner because he wants to spend time with you but then he gets insecure as to whether or not he deserves it

instead of becoming clingier he actually grows a bit more distant??

texts less often and just holes himself in his room for longer periods of time just feelin’ sad and confused

you’ll probably have to be the one to have the control to break away from your studies amd go check on him. maybe bring a basket of his favorite snacks and your gaming console!!

would be a bit pouty and grumbly towards you when he first lets you in his room even though he knows it’s not really your fault but it feels so nice to settle into this routine with you again and soon he’s cheered up

the two of you work on being more consistent with communication which is really good for y’alls relationship :-D

malleus draconia:

tries not to think about it too much

similar to idia he hasn’t really recieved a lot of affection outside of his dorm members and even then it really just wasn’t the same

honestly it might not feel like much time that passes to him, personally, but he’s constantly just so aware that you’re mortal and human that’s what’s so scary

throws himself into his own work and duties as a distraction and this really only widens the rift but no one said that it was a good solution

the combo of you spending time away from him for work and him spending time away from you for work definitely increases his lonelieness at an exponential rate and eventually he goes to look for you

swings by to see if you had time for one of your usual (but despairingly growing less common) nightly walks and was shocked to find that the big problem wasn’t even not being project partners but you overworking himself

doesn’t do anything directly to sway you but kinda just sits in silence and stares, unblinking, as you scribble away

it gets so uncomfortable that eventually you crack and pet your pen down, laughing about how he’s such a baby

both of y’all gotta promise to take cuddle breaks from here on out, okay?

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland headcanons #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #leona kingscholar #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #malleus draconia #cloudy day

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come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years ago

Text

//general dating headcannons//

Characters: Komori Motoya/Oikawa Tooru/Sakusa Kiyoomi/Miya Atsumu

Request: bby ;-; HCs or scenarios of Komori, Oikawa and OmiOmi please cause my knee and back are screaming murder and I just want some love :'C (+Atsumu but homegirl forgot)

Warnings: some swearing and I make one sex joke

Word Count: 2.4K (~600 a piece)

Notes: I PROMISE i’ll get back to doing fics I’m just a weenie with AWFUL time management skills

Komori Motoya

My bleppy eyebrow boy oml i love him so much

Smooch his motherfucking eyebrows and watch him become a flustered mess. I swear, if you don’t, I will.

He’s already an absolute sweetheart, but when it comes to you? It’s a whole new level of soft. I’m talking like he’s going to be buying you little gifts all the time. He’s a really good listener, so you could mention your favorite book once and he’s going to scour the internet for a collector’s copy, or you maybe briefly mentioned that you thought orchids were really pretty and this boy? He’s bringing you a bouquet of them on your next date.

Your beauty is so ethereal to him, so Komori calls you his angel

He is just genuinely so proud to have you as his girlfriend?? Like, the fact that someone as incredible as you??? Wanted to date him?? It’s still a shock to him, but he’s so happy that you did.

Komori is a sucker for physical contact, so whether you’re in the comfort of your own home or out in public, he will be touching you in some way.

If you’re in public? It really depends on your comfort level. He’s down to have his arm wrapped lovingly around your shoulders, or if you’re not super into PDA, he’ll just hold your hand or just intertwine his pinky with yours. If you guys are at a restaurant, he’ll brush his knee against yours if you're across from him. If you’re next to him, he’ll just press his shoulder against yours. Anything to be in constant contact with you.

But if you’re in private, this baby just wants cuddles. Please face him while you two cuddle, because he honestly wants to give you all the sweet kisses on your nose and he’ll just stroke your cheek while the two of you just chat or enjoy each other's company.

I already said this earlier, but it needs to be repeated: SMOOCH HIS EYEBROWS

Komori likes to pretend that he hates it, but he’s kinda obsessed with it? And if he’s having a bad day, he’ll just hint at you that he wants eyebrow kisses

He’s going to call you just to make sure that you’ve eaten.

Honestly, he’s a caller instead of a texter, just because he wants to hear your voice. Is it a little inconvenient? Yes, but he thinks it’s worth it.

The two of you have probably sat on the phone for HOURS with very minimal talking, just the two of you going about whatever you’re doing, but just enjoying knowing that the other is there.

He doesn’t really get jealous? He’s pretty relaxed and doesn’t really feel threatened by other people? On the rare occasion that he is jealous? He will walk up to you, plant a short kiss to your lips, and ask if you’re ready to go.

Call him a shortened version of his name and he’s putty in your hands. His favorite is ‘toya.’ But he’s also a weenie for really cute pet names like “pumpkin” or “sweetheart”

Say it with me everyone: Husband material.

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Oh our stoic boy

I would love to tell you that he’s super sweet behind closed doors, but?? He’s just not. He still has his calm, collected front.

Honestly? It’s literally just because he’s never had a girlfriend before. He’s still getting used to having someone that isn’t related to him tell him that they love him, so you’ll have to give him a little time to get used to this whole relationship thing.

There was definitely mutual pining going on on both sides. You couldn’t tell if he liked you and he’s really prideful, so he didn’t want to be rejected, so there was a good three? Months of the two of you “talking” but even then it was really just him standing around in the hallway with his friends, and the two of you would always greet each other. Maybe? MAYBE do a little small talk?

“Are you excited for your tournament this weekend?”

“I guess so. Are you coming?”

Yeah. That’s seriously his idea of flirting.

You’re inevitably the one who caves and just asks him on a date. So, insert one (1) shocked Sakusa because he didn’t realize that you liked him too??

N E WAY. He’s not a fan of PDA, but I’m sure that’s not a surprise to anyone. The most he’ll do is drape his jacket over your shoulders as a sign that your his

But here is the surprise! Once he gets a little more comfortable with you, he likes the physical contact. If he thought you were germ-riddled, he wouldn’t date you, so it’s pretty easy for him to be okay with the contact. Play with his hair?? Oh he’s in love. That is his absolute favorite feeling.

Mask kisses? Mask kisses. Speaking of masks, you two probably have a few matching ones that he got you for anniversaries or things like that.

He’s a big big fan of butterfly kisses or just nuzzling his nose against you? It’s really sweet and intimate to him, so expect a lot of those if you two ever cuddle.

He’s a TALL mans, but he really doesn’t mind leaning down to kiss you. If anything he thinks it’s even cuter that you’re smaller than him.

I would simply like to say beware of jealous Kiyoomi. He’s not violent, but he’s really cold? He’ll come up behind the guy who’s talking to you, likely towering over him. Everything about Sakusa would be radiating this really dark aura. He would probably just grab you by the wrist and pull you away from the encounter.

But, he gets really soft afterwards? Like he just wants to hold you and he’ll tell you over and over that he loves you just so he can hear you say it back.

Kiyoomi usually has these soft moments when he feels threatened or if he’s just had a bad day. He gets really, for lack of a better word, subby. He wants to be cuddled and have his hair played with. Be big spoon PLEASE and shower him with compliments.

He hates fighting with you, but the thing is. He’s not really a scream-fighter? He just gets really irritated, which is probably worse? Because then he really says the wrong thing and you’ll probably just leave. There’s no use arguing with him when he’s like that. He’s stubborn and doesn’t like to be wrong.

But he’s usually the first to apologize. Especially if you’re genuinely upset. It’ll be HOURS before he does say sorry, but if you’re not around, he’ll call you just to say that he’s sorry and that he didn’t mean it.

And then proceeds to ask you if you want ice cream, because he’s coming over to beg for cuddles.

Oikawa Tooru

I think I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again.

Oikawa Tooru is one of the biggest shit talkers that you will ever meet

I’m sorry did you actually think he was a player? No. He’d be texting you about how much he wants to make out with you or ahem hit it until it breaks ahem but the moment the time comes?

FLUSTERED BOY

Like, he’s hiding his face in his hands so you can’t see just how red his cheeks are. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, he’s just a pleaser and he’s nervous that you won’t like it.

Tooru is two completely different people when you’re out in public and when it’s just the two of you.

When he’s around others, he’s the cool, confident person that you first met. He’ll have his arm around your waist, a smug smile on his lips, showing you off.

But, alone? Oh, this boy ;-; he makes me angsty so prepare yourselves

Tooru is super vulnerable when he’s just with you. You’ll find him opening up a lot, especially if the two of you have been dating for a while or just have a really strong bond.

He talks about his insecurities when it comes to volleyball and how he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough compared to Kageyama or some of the other incredible players on the court.

He’ll confide in you about he doesn’t feel like people see him. He thinks that people only care about him because he’s popular and attractive, not because of who he is as a person.

So, Oikawa likes to be the one being cuddled for sure. He likes to lay on his bed with his head in your lap while you either play with his hair or just gently trace his features.

While he likes being told that he’s handsome, if you give him compliments on his personality, he’s a complete weenie.

Long drives with him are the BEST. Especially night drives. Those are his absolute favorite dates. You two will go get fast food, drive out to the middle of nowhere, lay out a blanket to look at the stars, talking, eating chicken nuggets, sharing a Coke. Yeah. That’s the good shit right there.

Tooru. Likes. Podcasts. No, sorry. He loves them.

I think I mentioned this in a match-up, but he’s a horror/sci-fi junkie, so he really loves podcasts like “Welcome to Night Vale,” “Alice Isn’t Dead,” and “The Hidden Almanac.”

Watch horror films with him, please. I promise, if you’re scared, he’ll let you bury your head in his chest. He may laugh a little, but he will tell you that he thinks it’s cute. If you don’t want to watch, that’s fine, but he’ll probably call you just to talk about it.

But, if you like that stuff too? Movie marathons are a regular occasion for the two of you and you take turns sharing your favorites.

Oikawa is another one who just always wants to have contact with you. He’ll kiss you in public, but he mainly likes to hold your hand. He’ll swing them a little between the two of you as you walk and then bring your knuckles up to his lips just to give them a little kiss. He kisses every knuckle bye

Every now and then his knee will get little sharp pains or just ache in general. It can happen pretty randomly and he always feels guilty when it happens, because he needs to cut the date short, but he’s just in stupid amounts of pain and needs to lay down.

But, if you take care of him while he’s nursing his knee by bringing him water and painkillers, or pillows to prop his knee up, or even a heat pack to make it feel better?

He’s ready to wife you tf up.

Miya Atsumu

I love Atsumu with my whole heart and I am so so sorry for hurting him

Unlike most people he’s around, Atsumu is a complete softie for you. You’re his princess and he will treat you as such.

He’ll bring you flowers ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes the notes attached will be really sweet. Him telling you why he loves you or how happy he is to have you in his life.

Other times? It’s probably some bullshit like “ur dumb” or some teasing remark about something ridiculous you said. They’re all jokes and you get that, so they usually make you laugh. You’ll probably give him a little “Hey!” of mock hurt and a little smack upside the head or on his chest, but you can’t hide the smile on your face, because despite the note, he did still get you flowers.

Atsumu is a big big fan of PDA. You know that thing from “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” where Peter puts his hand in Lara Jean’s back pocket? Yeah. He does that. And he totally did not get it from that movie he did

He also likes to just have his arm around you so he can pull you into his side for maximum physical contact.

Wear his clothes and uhhhh atsumudotexe has stopped responding. You just pull them off so well. And if it’s a sweatshirt with his name on the back? He will take a picture and it will be on his Snapchat/Instagram story and it will be his new lockscreen.

Call him ‘Mu. He likes it so much more than any pet name you could ever give him. Babe/baby is too common. Sweetheart just doesn’t ft. Honey/Hon isn’t really his vibe either. He likes ‘Mu and you are the only person who’s allowed to call him that.

He lets you wear his training jacket during games, just to kind of silently let everyone know that you’re his, but he’s so vocal about his relationship with you, that everyone already knows not to flirt with you

But on the off chance that they do?? Oh, dear. He’s not even mean, he just has this really smug smile on his face when he approaches the guy talking to you. He’ll step between the two of you and introduce himself, absolutely crushing the other guy's hand in a handshake, never letting his smile drop.

Atsumu will ask what you’re talking about, inputting himself into the conversation, making some little snide comments to piss the other guy off. He’s a slow burn kind of aggressive when he’s jealous.

He honestly isn’t super big into cuddling? Like, if you want to, sure, but he’s never going to initiate cuddles.

You’re more than welcome to sit in his lap facing him and bury your face in his chest or shoulder while rubs your back, though. He’s a fan of that. You just look really cute all snuggled against him.

Or if you want to lay between his legs on the couch? Yeap. He likes that too. But those are really the only two ways he likes to cuddle.

One of your favorite ways to spend your lazy days together is just listening to music, maybe dancing around, or singing, but mainly just laying around and just chatting or enjoying each other’s company

It’s because of this that he gave you a set of mix tapes for your six month anniversary. And, yes. There was one for each month you had been dating. He’s really cheesy. Don’t come for him.

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