#literally gold star lesbianism but for aces

[moonscape]

the anon that's mad about isaboobs and the anon that got mad at me for projecting the way i experience my sex neutrality and complex feelings on the matter onto an ace character despite literally being ace myself and doing it with the ace game dev's approval should kiss

[knifegrrrl1312]

lesbian community sometimes is too exclusive bruh 😭😭 i swear what is the standards of being accepted? Ill see a post or a blog that says "lesbian safe space" but next to it i see "bi lesbians dni" like were u rEally that safe of a space???

and im not even bi lesbian myself, this problem doesnt directly affect me until it does like what if they start going "ace lesbians dni" next??? its like gold star lesbianism but evolved into "you cant sit w us unless ur 100% lesbian 🙄" and thats so fucked bc ppl are way too diverse for that shit, there will always be more exceptional lesbians out there and ppl whos sexuality differs from the majority bc every brain is different and also lesbianism is a spectrum as well.

Why is it so accepted in lesbian communities that the second ones sexuality is different or a lil more exceptional ppl start putting them in different categories/boxes and claiming they arent a ""ReAL"" lesbian unless they r ""100% lesbian"" like shut uuuuppp pls youre not only excluding bi lesbians but also a bunch of other lesbians like me whos lesbianism is a little more different than the norm (for me bc of my asexuality) like thats not a safe space at all why is it sooo hard to just not police others sexuality like why is so hard literally get over urselves acting like uptight bullies .😭

[bl00dy-plan3t]

intro post 😁😁

go here to read my rant part 1 here for part 2 and here for part 3

dm and askbox open for ppl. anons are welcome.

maybe i wont reply mayeb i will. depends on my energy.

pls be friens with i have like no friends.

tagging my non-existent moots

@discoveredreality BRO OMG OMG IM FINALY MAKING AN INTRO POST. sweetest most caring little shit. where the actually fuck would i be without you. like yes i know you dont do anything and somethimes dont even know that you need to do stuff but OMG WHAT LIKE YOU KEEP PUSHING ME TO DO SHIT TO MAKE MOVES AND LIVE MY LIFE PLS PLS DONT EVER LEAVE ME POOKIE <33333333

@lilcri84b1 AHHHHHHH. what would i be doing without you. i dont even know where to start. like litereally the most gorgeous girl out there. HOW DO I EXPLAIN YOUR BEAUTY TO THE REST OF THE WORLD. 10+ years of friendship so were basically already living under the same roof. I AM SO SO SO GRATEFULL TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE. btw guys this is my partner, who, i...... uhhhh talk, a.... uhhh little to much about.

@pumpkin-gizzards hello. thank you for being my class mate and in the same house as me too. besties ig. lmao

@ollieolioly lol hi just ask ari if u want to know who i am but u do know who i am. u point at me and say gay whenever u see me in the hallways so that should be enough info for u. sorry if i say mean things to u but like if u keep reading u will see why.

@violet92959 this rando on the internet just spawned out of nowhere and now im like besties with them????? anyways. u should have a 'beware, if yapping can't stop' sign. AKJDSWIEDDSN besties.

about me:

im mars. yes my previos nickname was mara, BUT now is a whole new era, whole new personality, whole new name. so please call me mars. they/them. agender. butch lesbian. grey aro and grey ace. idk whatver u can call me whatver but im probs not gonna respond to that lol. anyways. minor. im russian but live in australia. non religious. artsy (????) love to crochet. also the max volume in my headphones isnt enough i need the song up my baby spawner. does things last minute. pinterest is here. AHHHHHH WTF DM IF U WANT I NEED FRIENDS. also i probs wont answer all the time unless im at school so like dont get mad and shit. i also play the drums.

fave drink:

monster energy pipeline punch pink thing. (and also the gold one)

personality shit:

my mbti is isfp. star sign is taurus. favourite animal is snek . AHH GUYS EVERYONE UPDATE. I KISSED HER. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways. if u ever ecounter me being mean to you then 86.39% of the time im only playing with you. idrk my love language but i guess i make fun of you and also PHYSICAL TOUCH. not that if i dont do/show those around u i dont like u i just have no idea how to describe my love language. PLS TAG GAMES I LUV TAG GAMES YAYAYYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYA

time zone:

Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) 'Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST)

music taste:

MELANIE MARTINEZ ❤❤❤❤❤❤. tv girl. girl in red. 6arelyhuman. odetari. kets4eki. lumi athena. creepp. proz. elita. jazmin bean. marina. the smiths. dandelion hands. mitski. sign crushes motorist. shakira. jack stauber. asteria. dandelion hands. nirvana. acdc. radiohead. guns and roses. the beatles. naik borzov. the cranberries. queen. weezer. the cure.

ok pls dont hate me for this one. I ABSOLUTELY HATE READING BOOKS. I CANT READ. I LITERALLY READ LIKE A SNAIL. so i dont have a book taste. wait nvm ive read valentine by jodi mcalister AND LOVED IT. thats basically it.

i play minecraft and roblox (but mainly evade and dti) (no i dont)

no fandoms bcs i dont read books. But. i watch old disney movies so idk if thats valid. hwlp rip what is this.

KASIUEWOIAJDASKD MY PARTNER ACTUALLY READS THIS WHEN I UPDATE IT THATS SO SWEET WTF <3333333333333333333

congrats u made it to the end. u can now continue with ur day. good bye.

*if i didn't tag u then dm me and i will.*

the pics are from here and here and here and here and here

[doctorhomo]

some people are clowns lmao. the fact that it was the 1980s and they literally werent able to write ace as a lesbian in canon aside, people seem to forget that comp het is a thing, and as a lesbian myself who has experienced that and is still very much a dyke, using 'she's been with men though' as a gotcha is... eesh. not every lesbian is a gold star. anyway bottom line is she's canonically unlabelled and any interpretation of her sexuality is valid, INCLUDING but not limited to interpreting her as a lesbian. - 💖

yeah!! that’s what i thought, i was thinking about comphet bc like. that’s a thing? as far as im aware, ace never states her sexuality in canon. she’s been with men, probably with women too, but that could mean anything!! could mean she’s bi/pan, could mean she’s a lesbian with comphet, she could be aro and not realise it!!! i always assumed it was up for interpretation and not written in stone, and also, at the end of the day, my initial post was a joke lmao like. please stop trying to paint me as a bitch who’s intentionally erasing bi characters because that’s not what i was trying to do

[vtori73]

I think it's pretty funny when binary, exclusionist & radfem/terf lesbians argue against non-exclusionists and pull the " wHY dOes LeSbian only get targeted with these debates of being a spectrum/umbrella term???"

...

Maybe because "Lesbian," is the only term that has a big/most amount of people who are ACTIVELY hostile to it being an umbrella term/a spectrum (which we shouldn't be a surprise, how many times do we have to remind y'all about the history of lesbian separatism/political lesbianism & how it still holds strong roots within the community in present day, one recent example being gold star lesbianism).

Literally all other terms are treated/seen as umbrellas. Gay being the biggest one used by the community but the only thing is most of or a sizable chunk who do use it only mean gayness in a binary sense and tend to erase anyone who likes more than one gender that can make the person in question "seem straight." Bi is an umbrella term for various mspec people, not everyone likes it to be or use it that way for themselves but they can't deny it can be and is easily an umbrella term because by its simplest definition it can cover anyone who likes more than one gender. Trans is also an umbrella term that covers anyone who isn't cis & that includes nonbinary people but, yes, there are people who argue it should only include binary trans people but that doesn't mean it can't cover nonbinary people just because some trans people are stuck thinking & reinforcing binaries & binarism. And last being Queer which is the biggest umbrella term of them all covering anyone who isn't allo cis/hetero, not everyone likes it or uses it but that doesn't erase the fact that it IS the biggest umbrella term found within the community that anyone can use for whatever reason.

And you know what's interesting? There's this common pattern that you can see above happening of the only reasons given against terms being umbrellas is exclusionism & binary thinking on gender/sexuality and I think that in of itself should be the only indicator needed to prove that limiting queer/LGBT terms in anyway is bad & the work of gatekeeping & bigotry and nothing more.

The LGBT+ community in general has a problem with binarism though and needs to for once very much confront it because it's the main reason for a lot of ingroup bigotry and lateral oppression/bigotry (or just straight oppression depending on the group/s I question). Its why bigotry against bi, ace/aro, nonbinary, and other "contradictory" & "confusing" identities (ESPECIALLY including those experiencing oppression outside of attraction/sexuality or aka intersectionality) is so accepted and casual by others within the LGBT community because these identities question and spit on binary thinking of sexuality and gender that genuinely scares people because it makes them question themselves & the ideals they were taught & happily consumed & reinforce about how the world works just like any other bigot.

One thing we do have to also acknowledge is that the LGBT+ community is very much influenced & upholds white supremacy and where a lot of these issues stem from not saying it's the ONLY reason these issues exist but is a big one that mainly benefits white people within the community so it would make sense that they would then support things that only positively effect them.

[uncriticalbunny]

i’m sorry, this ask is obnoxiously long, but your pinned post about sydney’s relationships and particularly the part about lesbian syd truthers being ADAMANT that she’s a lesbian as opposed to bisexual because of the combo of jealousy (re: the fuckability of JAW) and denial (a girlboss like her surely couldn’t date a (WHITE) MAN?!?!?!?? what about #representation?!?!!) is sooooooo fucking real.

of course, i think to a degree it also reflects the general idea of bisexual women many people have regarding our relations to/with men - as though syd not being ‘gold star’ (yuck) sullies her in some way? or as though the usual idea of a ‘bisexual woman’ these people have in mind somehow couldn’t mesh with syd? - but still. it made me realise i’ve genuinely never seen an in-depth reason as to why syd is a lesbian that doesn’t hinge entirely on carmy (or even occasionally marcus, or ritchie, or whoever) as a character and the headcanoners reluctance to allow sydney to be involved with him for whatever reason, but i’ve never been able to put name to it til i read your post. and tbh, as a bisexual woman, i don’t even really care about syd being lesbian, bi, straight - it literally does not matter to me as long as she’s fulfilled. but i DO feel strongly about her ending up ‘alone’, regardless of whether they try to go the ‘but her job and her friendships fulfil her sooo much’ route. again, i didn’t realise why. it’s a very good post, thank you for explaining it so succinctly. it’s given me a lot to think about, especially post-VF article and right before S3 drops. i really feel like my third eye has been opened, especially since i have always wondered if i’m just putting too much stock into romance and ignoring that people can have fulfilling lives without it etc etc etc (mostly as a result of anti-ship sydney enjoyers). really, thank you, and sorry this is so long and muddled!

thank u anon, not muddled at all! you've hit the nail on the head. honestly people cannot be normal about bi women, whether in queer spaces or otherwise. it's interesting that people won't even consider a bi syd even though she could still have a girlfriend. that tiny possibility of her getting with carmy is too much for them to handle i suppose. above all, it sullies her like you said. i rarely see any bi headcanons when it comes to black female characters. i've mentioned before idgaf about people justifying their headcanons but again, like you said, the hc of her being a lesbian [mostly from white women and men] usually only comes up in relation to carmy. like there has to be absolutely zero chance for her getting with carmy. on one side, there are earnest people who genuinely want to see her as a lesbian because of representation or whatever [with no real thought of the #optics or how that execution would be like]. and on the other side, we have the racists and people who want her to be a lesbian simply bc they don't want her with carmy, whether bc they don't think she meets their standards for who gets to be involved with him romantically or bc they think she's better than him. i think these things are worth interrogating.

for me it's also about not wanting syd to end up alone. i don't trust the writers to make it satisfying for all the reasons i mentioned in that long ass post if they were to make her a lesbian and/or ace [or bi]. the ace headcanons are even more unserious to me. so many people would looooove to see her focus solely on the restaurant bc they think that's all she deserves or that the show has no room for romance, despite everything that happened in season 2 lmao. i don't think it's silly to want to see the romance at all. the anti-romance people are the silly ones.

[rainbowninjaprincess1]

I posted 5,691 times in 2022

14 posts created (0%)

5,677 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@spongebobssquarepants

@prismatic-bell

@ukulelekatie

@anarchy-in-new-vegas

@holdyourghost

I tagged 61 of my posts in 2022

#nwsl - 4 posts

#my post - 3 posts

#hell yeah - 2 posts

#washington spirit - 2 posts

#the batman - 2 posts

#emily sonnett - 2 posts

#bi ace - 1 post

#show and tell - 1 post

#show and tell time - 1 post

#the king himself - 1 post

Longest Tag: 95 characters

#and my oldest one is when i tripped on rough grass when i was younger and had to get patched up

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

Not a gold star lesbian, but I do identify as asexual.

1 note - Posted February 28, 2022

#4

Watching the NWSL semifinal match of Washington vs. Reign on my TELEVISION is the greatest thing ever.

2 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

#3

SAVANNAH MCCASKILL YOU LEGEND

9 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

#2

I will never EVER shut up about Sonnett scoring her first international goal, baby!

See the full post

10 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

This was the worst match I've ever watched. Literally ever, in any sport.

12 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

I am simultaneously sorry and not sorry for being the hoe I was this year. See y'all fuckers next year!

[lunasilverhart]

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

buddy I’m not even a regular lesbian

[pergaias]

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

girlie I'm sixteen .....

[thethiefandtheairbender]

also since it’s almost pride month here are some aphobic (ace / aro-phobic) or exclusionist dogwhistles

implying / stating outright that aces are cringy

“i just don’t want people to limit themselves” is basically what one of my family members said to me when i came out, it fucking hurt. don’t do it. you have no idea how much someone has wrestled with their identity

anti / ship policing, bc it’s predicated on purity culture and is a gateway to aphobia

saying that young people can’t be ace and that we’ll change our minds and just haven’t met the right person yet

“nobody cares that you don’t want to have sex” 

saying that aspec people are picky or just want to be special

calling us cishet 

getting upset when a character is headcanoned as ace or aro

only headcanoning characters as ace or aro and never shipping them - platonically or otherwise - with anyone

for that matter, treating ace characters and people like a punchline joke, including historical figures or memes. we’re not a cringe compilation

implying / stating outright that QPRs (queerplatonic relationships) are cringy or “you mean like having friends”

calling our history ahistorical and grasping at straws

reading our experiences and dismissing them as “oh but everyone feels that way” -- i got some news for you, bud

making fun of mogai instead of treating the damn thing with nuance

saying that asexuality or aromantic are a tumblr identity (we’re not and exclusionists destroyed our community here years ago, thanks for that)

aro erasure

“wow you don’t see these two characters as boyfriends because the line between romantic and platonic attraction is blurred for you? you must be homophobic” or “this relationship between two same sex characters that closely resembles a QPR isn’t Good Enough Rep and is homophobic because they didn’t kiss” (see: good omens)

making fun of heterosexual aros, heteromantic aces (particularly women bc you just love misogyny directed at “weird” people), and demisexual/demiromantic people especially

dismissing amatanormativity and saying that it doesn’t exist or isn’t a part of cisheteronormativity that fucks literally everyone up

taking posts clearly made to deride us or denounce as (i.e. aces don’t want kissing at pride, aros think all romance is Yucky) on face value and reblogging them as jokes and “discourse”

joking that it’s dumb/cringey/funny for people to want a queer safe space that isn’t as sexualized as clubs and bars

dismissing the fact that aros and aces experience comphet too (hi, op here: i definitely did and it fucked me up, thanks)

“just because you’re ace doesn’t detract from your gayness” and that only queer aces belong in the community (aceness is inherently queer)

an emphasis on lesbianism as Gold Star Gay (as aces often fell under the lesbian umbrella for similar reasons bi women did, historically) or gatekeeping

aphobic gatekeeping is often very similar to transmed or terf gatekeeping (sincerely an ace, aro trans person); if you can learn how to identify one, you can learn how to identify the other

along that vein, tagging things as q slur. i won’t trust you three separate fronts in case you’re a terf/exclusionist, congratulations

in other words, sincerely from an ace, aro spec, pan, nonbinary person

[crisislemon123]

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

Sorry if this sounds snippy but I’m very tired and this is kind of a ridiculous ask!

First of all, that’s a stupid way to think about queerness and lesbians in general - it literally doesn’t matter. No one is less of a lesbian because they’ve had sex with a man or want to experiment or something. That’s not even touching the fact that genderfluid/nonbinary/trans people exist.

Second of all - I’m nonbinary and transmasc, I consistently refer to myself as queer/bi/pan etc, and I’m also ace. This is very openly available info on my account, so I guess the answer is no? I’m not?? I’m not a lesbian, let alone a ‘’gold star’’ one, and while I don’t plan on having sex with any men I also don’t plan on having sex with women or anyone else!

Also, what a great and normal thing to ask a minor <3 love that for you

[hacash]

what I don’t think exclusionists get about the ace community - or maybe they do get it and they’re just unnecessarily pissy - is that it’s so fucking welcoming.

there’s no sense of having to prove anything. unlike the standard lbgt vibe of tumblr in the mid-2010s, where I was always worried about not being bi enough, there’s never any sense of having to prove that you’re ace enough, that if you had sex and enjoyed it once that you’re no longer a ‘gold star ace’, that you have to censor the word v*brator on the basis that implying some of us masturbate is damaging to the community. there’s an understanding that some folk will be sex-repulsed and some are sex-indifferent and some are sex-favourable; and some will experience sexual attraction only after forming an emotional bond, or only on very rare occasions; and some people don’t experience attraction because of trauma or illness or medication and that’s fine, and some people don’t experience attraction because that’s literally just how they’re wired and that’s also fine, and there’s an understanding that no-one has to qualify or validate anything else. hell, I bet a decent proportion of people in the ace tumblr community aren’t even necessarily aspec - but because they’re abstaining for religious reasons or health reasons or just because they want to, the way sex is discussed as something but positive but not obligatory in the ace community is really helpful to them.

and I just. considering how many people worry about not being bi/pan/trans/gnc/lesbian/gay enough, I think that’s such a fantastic thing. and it makes my head spin that exclusionists will look at that and think ‘they’ll let anyone into their little club, what a bunch of tryhard losers’. like, a really, really important need is being met for a lot of people - to be told that sex is great but it’s not obligatory, that if you want to do it that’s cool and if you don’t that’s also cool, you’re not broken because you experience desire in a different way to the norm - and there are no hoops to be jumped through or qualifications to be reached before this need is met, and you’re saying that’s a bad thing? you absolute bunch of turnips.

[azulapropaganda]

Hello everyone. Today (August 2nd 2020) I noticed a blog who earlier tried to accuse me of being a terf has once again made another post about this. This time she accused me of some other things and since her post suddenly started gaining attention, I decided to clear some things up and reply to every single claim she makes in her post.

I’m genuinely tired of all of this.... So, there’s a insanely popular atla TERF (@what-would-azula-do) blogger that’s been attacking me and my friends, and she worked with a group of TERFs to ban my og spop blog. I literally just made this blog but I’m tired of getting attacked by TERFs, so I’m making a call out post (ew ikr) to end this.

I am not a terf. I did not work with a group of terfs to ban your blog, you did this to yourself by tagging your post with “terfs please interact”, “terfs do touch” and other tags. You’re attacking a minor with false claims that are easily debunked. I have not been attacking you or your friends, I don’t even know who your friends are. I specifically added the “please do not send op any hate” tag when I called you out so my followers wouldn’t harass you.

First off, what-would-azula-do is a pretty obvious crypto TERF. She reblogs and creates a ton of TERFy posts that might flow off the radar of cis people, but directly harms trans people. She constantly reblogs and makes exclusionary feminist posts that exclude trans women, and use TERF rhetoric, and she doesn’t have any trans or non-binary mutuals. She also just posts full on TERF shit a lot, and whenever she gets called out she gets defensive and deletes the evidence. I got this info from an anonymous trans woman that pmed me, but she also used to just be a full on out TERF in 2016, and posted transphobic slurs and memes regularly, and also was a SWERF. Allegedly she deleted the blog and remade with her new main and the what-would-azula-do sideblog. Again this is just an alleged anon tip but I believe it. She also ships a pretty TERFy atla ship (tyzula) that à ton of TERFs on tumblr ship. Now I’m going to go to a huge pile of shit already, ONE OF HER MUTUALS IS LITERALLY AN OPEN TERF.

You say I reblog and create a ton of terfy posts. Which ones? I only talk about atla on this blog and actually make an effort to tag anything else as “off topic”. I don’t think I even made a post about feminism on my blog. You also say I don’t have any trans or nonbinary mutuals, do you have any proof of that? You contradict this claim further in your post (“Has trans mutuals even though she’s a TERF”). You say I post “terf shit” a lot, could you provide screenshots of that please? And according to you, “whenever” I get called out I delete the evidence. I got one anon once when I accidentally reblogged something from a terf I wasn’t aware I was following. I personally wouldn’t call my reply to this anon “defensive”. You say you got info from an anonymous trans woman that I used to be a full on terf in 2016 and that I posted transphobic slurs and memes regularly. In 2016 I was 13-14 years old and I didn’t even have a tumblr blog. I don’t even know how to address the tyzula thing. How is a ship “terfy”? And just because I reblog art, doesn’t mean I actually ship it? I reblog art of several ships just because I like the art.

Unholy-lesbian is one of what-would-azula-do’s TERF mutuals (she has about three crypto TERF mutuals too) that’s just a full on TERF. She was really into the TERF sphere a month ago but went crypto when she became mutuals with what-would-azula-do (probs to protect her crypto TERF identity) she said she’s not a TERF anymore, but she still reblogs TERF rhetoric and all her mutuals are TERFs. She also put TERF in quotation marks which means she probs thinks it’s a slur, which is TERF rhetoric. She’s also a gold star lesbian which means she excludes trans women from her dating pool. I’d go into this bitch more, but this callout ain’t for her.

Could you please give me the usernames of my three cryptoterf mutuals? Look I’m not going to deny that unholy-lesbian was a terf a while ago. She told me this yesterday or two days ago when I talked to her about your post. She also told me she was done being a terf because the community was so hateful all the time. She’s 15 years old, don’t pull her into this.

I’m friends with her so she can find a welcoming and nice community in the atla fandom. She’s on the right path now, do you seriously want to go hate on her for this?

This is a lighting round of all the shit she did, and also her track of aphobia and ableism, so here we go:

I literally have autism and adhd myself.

Used the t slur on her old blog (alleged)

No I haven’t? Could you provide proof of this please?

Has trans mutuals even though she’s a TERF

You contradict this earlier in this post, once again without any evidence.

Misgendered an artist on what-would-azula-do and didn’t apologize

Who? I use “they” whenever I don’t know the gender of an artist. I wasn’t aware this ever happened and I’d like to apologize to said artist of this claim is true

Liked an aphobic meme

Which meme? Also my likes aren’t even visible.

Mutuals with an aphobe that bullied an ace kid off tumblr

Who?

Uses her queer followers as props to denounce her being a TERF

This is ridiculous. My followers know I’m not a terf so of course some of them are going to defend me and support me.

Gaslight her former nb mutual

Who?

Reblogged from a TERF with TERF in her username

Yes and I addressed this already. Someone sent an anon about this, I deleted the post, unfollowed the user I wasn’t even aware of following in the first place, and thanked the anon for telling me about this.

Said the r slur on her main

No I didn’t? Do you have a screenshot of or a link to this post? Also I literally have autism, as I have mentioned earlier on this blog.

Slandered a queer artist on what-would-azula-do

Who?

WORKED WITH TERFS TO DEPLATFORM ME (A NB LESBIAN OF COLOR)

I reported your post once because you were accusing me of untrue things and harassing me, a minor, and you were threatening to murder my followers. I didn’t work with terfs at all, they came to your post after you tagged it with “terfs please interact”

And what does your sexuality and gender even have to do with this?

Even if she wasn’t a TERF (which she is lol) she worked with TERFs to ban my blog that exposed her, which is violently lesbophpbic and nbphobic.

Your blog was banned because you were harassing a minor and throwing around false accusations, not because you are a lesbian or nonbinary. I did not work with terfs to ban your blog, as I have mentioned twice earlier.

So y’all really shouldn’t follow or support her anymore, unless you’re a TERF just like her. (Dm me for screenshots, I didn’t want to post them here since she’d just gaslight me)

Please post all of the screenshots you have in a reply to this post.

Also, could you stop harassing my followers. This is just incredibly gross behavior.

PREVIOUS POST

[absentcaryatid]

She Likes To Be On Top

Chapter Eleven of the Juicy Cock Saga, an ATEEZ fanfic by AbsentCaryatid

Fluff and innuendo only, all talk and no action but still occasionally NSFW, 3K words

You may wish to read the Prologue first: She Came On A Red Motorbike Previous Chapter: Only In Fanfiction

~

“Chicken girl! You haven’t abandoned us,” Mingi yelled before picking you up in a well-intentioned but over-enthusiastic greeting. “You aren’t our delivery person anymore. We have all missed you, we don’t order fried chicken as often because it wasn’t the same without you. Yeosang won’t even talk about chicken anymore. Are you here to drop off food? Everything you bring always tastes best.” His sincere, warm praise made your smile almost as wide as his was.

“Sorry about my absence, it was hard on me too missing my best customers and good friends. My cousin took over the takeout trips from me while I finished up the semester. I'd been able to keep working a little, mostly your dorm and KQ Entertainment runs until the final exams got near. I had to really prioritize my business degree over helping deliver chicken for Gran. My uncle had a long talk with her about that.”

He smiled, knowing he had kept your secret identity as literally part of the KQ family from everyone, even the other members, for now at least.

“Actually Mingi, I’m going to be seeing a lot more of you these days. I am the new intern until I go back to college.”  Holding up four laden bags you grinned, “I did bring meal boxes for each of you as long as I was on my way here though.”

It was all welcome news, but more for the former than the latter, and the gentle giant of a man dramatically jumped for joy. He took some of the bags lightening your load and passed them to Wooyoung who immediately called back toward the practice room, “Guess what, Yeosang? Your true love is here!”

Hongjoong strolled over at the commotion ready to possibly rescue or at least greet the new employee he had been told to expect when he realized no introduction was necessary.

Mingi exuberantly explained the situation. “Hongjoong, she's going to be working with us, here!”

You met him with a bow although he had offered a hug. “I appreciate your manners toward a workplace senior but you do not have to be so formal with me,” he said pleasantly.

You explained that although you were already very friendly with the guys through your previous connection delivering their takeout which had led to so much more you planned to avoid being so physically touchy with them at the new job. Taking this internship seriously you wanted to be treated like any other staff member. Hongjoong respected your dedication and said he would convey that message to the other members not present.

The truth of the matter was that you weren’t like any other staff member and you felt the need to come clean the next time you were at the ATEEZ dorm for the “going away” party they threw for you. You weren’t really going away but they understood the visits to their home would be far less frequent while you worked at the same company, at least for now while you were trying to back off being so affectionate with the group so it would not show up at work. They said it did not have to be that way but it was your request and they honored it.

Stuffed with cake and ice cream you sobered for a moment and made a serious admission. “I have been lying to you.”

“You are not ace?” Mingi asked hopefully beside you at the table.

“Oh no, that I am. A virgin, never been kissed, no nothing.”

“Not pertinent to the lying then but I need to point out that sounds like some ‘gold star’ bullshit,” Seonghwa remarked.

You had heard of people who ranked their queerness by experience, or rather lack of other experience as “gold star” gays or lesbians. There were probably aces that did the same cruel thing. Seonghwa was completely right to call you out about your potentially harmful phrasing.

“Do you know what, you are absolutely right. Even with gradations like gray-ace there is no such thing as a hierarchy of being more of a ‘real ace’ than anyone else. Previous sexual experience is not the determining factor of someone's identity, it is their own assessment alone that makes the label. Lots of people figure things out later in life or change over time.”

Jongho sounded testy. “Thank you for the lecture, teacher. I would be more receptive to learning at a different time. Can we get back to the lie now? What have you done that we need to know about?” It took a lot to get him riled and he was probably thinking you had been selling photos of their dorm to trashy news sites, writing a tell-all book, or something else invasive like that.  

“Nothing bad, just a rather big lie of omission.” You got to the point quickly to head off stressing your friends further. “For a long time now you have deserved to know that the boss of your company is my uncle.”

“I knew that,” Mingi gloated. He’d kept the secret, surprising everyone including himself and you smiled at him earning a big grin in return.

While speaking you had also begun resting your hand on his thigh so it was not just your smile making him beam. Then you turned serious. “I thought Mingi had shared the information so I had been working on the assumption that all of you in the dorm knew but were just being quiet about it. Anyway, now you know why I could text the CEO to break the rules and get permission to stay at the your dorm the night of the big storm so long ago.”

San looked stricken and apologized. “I remember. I am sorry Seonghwa, Wooyoung, and I were so skeptical of your text back then.”

“No, no, it was completely reasonable to be without understanding how we we knew each other. You have nothing to be sorry for,” you said, touching his hand reassuringly.

Hongjoong nodded thoughtfully. “You call the owner of  the restaurant Gran. Is that something everybody does like when she tells people we are her grandchildren or is she real family?”

“No, it is real, she is mother to my mom and aunt. She also has a son.”

Putting two and two together he realized that meant your uncle, his boss, had been promoting his own mother’s chicken restaurant. “So that's the real reason CEO Kim has been so supportive of Juicy Cock, it is his mom's shop. We had been having fun with the innuendo but it was a mystery why he kept approving our association with the brand. He said she had loaned him money to start KQ Entertainment but that clearly was not the whole story.”

“True. I think my uncle does not care who knows, the older people in Juicy Cock’s neighborhood certainly remember him growing up there as a teen but they are not generally the ATEEZ market so the connection was never made. My guess is he kept the family relationship hidden to let it be my choice to be open or not.”  

Yunho gently prodded, “Why did you keep quiet?”

“Well, now that I am an intern I want to make my way without being the niece of the boss and getting preferential treatment. So, you know but I do not want it to go further than this dorm if at all possible. But beforehand? You have seen I do not flaunt my friendly relationship with you guys, it is a similar thing for my family. I wanted to be seen as me, and the grandchild of the restaurant's owner was fine too, though I know that helped me win over Yeosang.” His subtle smile at that helped you go on.

“But as we became closer I had to know your trust was something I earned on my own. I am sure now you never would have sucked up to me to curry favor with your boss but then I had no way of being certain. I should have been more open once I understood that, though.”

Wooyoung asked, “So how did Mingi know?”

“It came up.”

“That's vague,” San snarked.

“He was asking if I was pregnant.”

“What?” several voices startled.

“You had to be there,” was all the answer you would give.

Mingi was grateful that other than Yunho the guys didn’t know fully how silly he had been and how much his mind ran away with him that day. He squeezed your hand in an appreciative expression. You were very good to protect him by deciding not to take the opportunity to explain all that happened, as good a story as it was. He figured some of the others would be getting the whole thing out of him later though, by tickling if necessary. It would probably do him good to talk to more of his friends about all these feelings he was developing.

“Well she could have been pregnant, weren’t you just saying ace is in the heart not what the body has been up to?” Mingi then added, “First I thought she was dating the CEO. She told me to sort out that misunderstanding.”

Jongho sighed wearily. “So I can stop holding my breath then. There is no scandal looming.”

“Nothing like that. You know, my uncle bought me my first asexual pride patches so I think he’d have no trouble fending off a hit piece story about ATEEZ and their shared girlfriend if something like that ever happened. I am sorry I made you worry my secret might harm your careers. I really should have told you sooner.”

In the end your friends and now colleagues understood your reasons and declared there were no hard feelings for keeping that fact from them. After all, there were things about them you did not know either and that was not an impediment to being dear to each other. So with a weight off your chest and a final round of goodbye hugs you left for your college dorm. The next time you met it would be at KQ headquarters and everything would appear far more professional. The internship would keep you busy enough that you didn’t have time to miss socializing at their dorm and once the school break was over you would leave the temporary job and see them again as usual.

For the remainder of your college years you would return whenever you had time off to rotate through a different department of KQ Entertainment. The pirating watch dept looking for music uploads fascinated you along with the data analysis that team did for fan engagement and reception to different content. There even were some long distance workers who would not be interacting with ATEEZ outside VIP concert ticket meets in their country assigned the task of keeping a regular survey of fanfic.

“We have a person in Scandinavia,” your uncle explained, “fast reader and writer too, in multiple languages. We have juiced the fic pool like we do with other social media dropping in some concepts we want to promote or gauge reactions to some content themes. They’d been doing the stories in their off time and we finally had the smarts to put that work of theirs on the payroll too.”

Of all the placements throughout the company, wardrobe had been your favorite. Being around to help dress the members was not the draw, for you the appeal lay in design. Watching the process of dreaming up eight complementary yet personalized variations on a theme and seeing the seamstresses bring the ideas to life really caught your interest. Although your future career intentions lay in less hands-on aspects of business management you were really grateful for the inside view of every component of the production company from the ground up.

Hongjoong had been particularly generous with his time whenever you had questions about the musical production side of his work. Knowing your eventual goal was to be involved in a management company yourself one day he appreciated the chance to teach someone how to be supportive from the perspective of what an artist really needs. Now that your family connection was revealed the odds of you being his superior one day were clear and he appreciated the task of training the future boss to see his side of things.

Before the last year of your master's degree you had even been placed as an assistant to your uncle, Mr. Kim, the founder and CEO himself. This meant you crossed paths with the boys less often at work but had been able to socialize with them more freely outside of it again as you earned higher positions in the company.

You realized with a start you were internally still calling the ATEEZ members “the kids.” They were adults now really and had been for some time and despite being younger than all but Jongho you always had thought of them fondly that way. To truly treat them as coworkers you knew you needed to leave that attitude behind and recognize the young men as fully competent adults rather than the often goofy teens clamoring for the chicken dinners you used to deliver to their dorm years ago.

This career choice did make you happy and certainly gave you mental flexibility from dealing with the many things that could come up unexpectedly, most of which were not in the job description. Memorable days included a panicked phone call from Wooyoung looking for assistance getting San’s arm unstuck from within a claw machine while trying to fraudulently grab a plushie after running out of coins. Wooyoung snapped pictures of the EMTs you enlisted briefly posing with a more resigned than distressed San who proclaimed he had earned the stuffed animal legitimately and it just had not dropped into the chute.

There was also the day you hastily had to donate some hair before a show because Yeosang had been running around with Hongjoong's braid extensions yet again. He swore he had returned them after playfully sporting them in a backstage V Log but somehow they had gotten hidden under a newly arrived delivery box and your replacement hair was quickly styled then clipped on Hongjoong that day, which was closer than you ever had wanted to get to a performance stage.

No matter what happened some things remained the same. Your cousin was now delivering Yeosang’s chicken orders and had been to the ATEEZ dorm sometime earlier in the day as evident from the scent in the air. The members were friendly enough with her but she was not you and the interactions were brief, not even joking to Yeosang about true love. That was reserved for you, and Betty once upon a time.  

Settling on the couch you scrolled through your phone to await another movie night with the guys. Well, all but Mingi since he was taking a health break from official duties. It was seeing the way you missed him that prompted tonight’s entertainment because all of them could use some cheering up for the same reason.

From your perch in the living room you overheard Yeosang in the kitchen ask, “Do you mind if I suck on your Juicy Cock?”

“I forgot you like that. Sure. Suck it off, make yourself happy,” Hongjoong agreed.

That got you looking up from the screen. You realized you were thirsty but this might not be the best time to intrude on the members in the other room. Surely they remembered you were here, right? It was the polite thing to do to let them know you were within earshot so you got up. You paused wondering what you were about to happen upon then resumed walking into the kitchen to find Yeosang and Hongjoong standing together at the counter by the sink.

“I can go if I am interrupting something.”

“Come join us, sit down, sit down.” Yeosang waved you into one of the empty seats at the dining table. “I was just telling Hongjoong he left so much of the fried chicken coating on the ends of his drumsticks. Seeing the bone pile I was asking if I could suck and gnaw on them. The tragedy of having so much of the delicious seasoned batter left behind unappreciated is one reason I don't like to share the legs usually.”  

“You know, the way it sounded from the living room I wondered if you were finally getting over Betty, Yeosang.”

Hongjoong went over what he could recall of the conversation and laughed. “I should be so lucky. No, his heart is fixed. They have been talking a lot on the phone again lately.”

Yeosang smiled broadly. “Betty has been getting a lot more recognition for her work since she brokered the collaboration between Lil Nas X and RM of BTS on the ‘Seoul Town Road’ version of ‘Old Town Road.’ She even tells me she feels her reputation for competence in her own right has been sealed so she is open to dating again and already has one person in mind. I see her next week when she is back running another training at KQ.”

“No way!” You squealed in delight. No fanfiction pairing you sighed over held the same level of affection you had for seeing your former college roommate together with your dear friend. If anyone was meant to be together it was them. “Let me know if you have any trouble getting time off to see her. I will go straight to my uncle and sort things out if need be.”  

“Already have the vacation booked with CEO Kim’s approval. We are going somewhere quiet for the week after her work. I’m glad Betty doesn’t want our relationship to be used for publicity and I am in agreement with her on that. She shouldn’t have to put up with fans questioning if she’s good enough for me.”

“Meanwhile I who know you both hope you’re good enough for her.”

“I am going to be, Betty means the world to me.”

“Perfect, because if there’s ever a problem that’s your fault you’re in trouble with me too.”

“That’s intimidating and very motivating and I very much plan to never find out what you would do to me.”

“Good.”

~

On to Chapter Twelve: Everything But Juicy Cock

Look forward to Jongho staying true to himself:

Jonngho considered holding your hand in reassurance but decided that was not his thing. He might ask Wooyoung to do it if needed. There had to be a way to get this discussion to end so he could eat in peace.

Masterlist

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

What is your opinion on straight passing privilege? I (bi) don’t think it exists, but a close (lesbian) friend of mine insists that it does bc “You can hold hands with your SO (nb cis passing man) in public without risking being the victim of a hate crime.” I have been researching but keep seeing this same argument coming up, and I’m unsure and don’t want to be making anyone upset if I’m being ignorant here.

I think that there's a lot of fucked up internet politics around who is and isn't allowed in the community. Which is ridiculous.

Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Pan, Poly, Ace, Aro, Trans, Intersex, etc.

The only people who shouldn't be in the community are cishets, and pedos, none of that 'it's a sexuality' nonsense, it's predation.

The concept of straight-passing is ridiculous, primarily because it's all based on assumptions. If you're in an m/f relationship, and you are both cis and heterosexual, it's straight.

But here's the catch, if you identify as any LGBPT+ then it's not straight.

Two trans people in an m/f relationship is not straight passing.

Two bi people in an m/f is not straight passing, it's queer babes, it's in the name. If you're bi and your partner is like, straight, it's still queer from your side of the fence.

It's the 'pick a side' argument from another direction, this straight passing nonsense. Where you are villified by the straights if you have a same-sex relationship (or fetishised, let's be real, every part of the acronymn has it's own p*rn category aimed at straight people with a kink), and if you have a relationship with the opposite gendered person, the queer community gets cranky.

Two things:

1) Is this friend between 13 and 25? Bc they could still be working this out or being mentored by t*rfs, or had some bad info. IT could be jealousy or fear of being open where you live. Perhaps you could question what makes her say that; has she had a bad experience, or did someone say this to her. where are you Are you in america? are there snake wielding jesus warriors near you? Blink SOS if you need an escape route, child

2) Who wins when everyone in the queer community is divided and policing one another? Telling everyone off for dating this person or that person or not at all

I didn't get an invite to the big queer conference to make these decisions, so like, they're not valid. It's some pocket of internet active idiots who think they can speak for everyone.

What we need to do is stop pulling this bullshit on one another and get back to asking just why the fuck it's not okay for people who are perceived as not-straight or cis etc to hold hands in public.

There's a problem for every facet of the acronym, babes and dudes and theys. Lesbians are heavily sexualised by straight cis dudes. Gays are heavly fetisihed by straight cis women. to the point where even saying 'I'm gay' is considered to be an obscene, sexual act that you should not let children be exposed to.

And there's always someone from the opposite gender who thinks they 'are confused' or 'haven't met the right (gender) person yet', or 'they could fix them with their magic genitals' or mumbled religious nonsense. There's such intense stereotypes that people can't stand women who look butch, but also you can't 'really' be a lesbian unless you are' or gay men can't just be, like, a normal dude, instead of some flamboyant in-your-face charicature.

Of course people who match the stereotype exist, too. And they get no respect for fitting into the stereptypes either, it's just another reason for disrespect. There's no winning.

Bi's can't talk to anyone without hearing a question of a threesome come up or being attacked from either side for coice of partner.

Pans, same, but also kitchenware jokes. Both Bi and Pan are considered sluts and whores and can't decide or are going to cheat, etc. Or the 'you're being special snowflakes', 'choose a side', 'you're secretly gay and won't admit / you're secretly straight and want attention' etc.

Ace/Aro - everyone under this banner gets the whole 'you just haen't found the right person' or 'when you're older/you're a late bloomer' or 'how do you know?' or 'maybe you're straight/gay and haven't worked it out yet?' invalidating them completely and trying to push sex onto them. The queer community has always let Ace and Aro in under the Bi banner, and they are welcome. But the internet community, usually young people, are tearing each other to shreds over it lmao.

Chill.

Non-binary, trans, intersex. They have been here for ages, but people from one community try to destroy their credibility, despite them existing since humanity has. It's big on p*rn and fetish sites too, lot of straight dudes think these things are hot and sexy, but would spit on trans people in the street. Hypocrites (I mean, every second low-brow comedy movie out there makes a thai-l*dyb*y joke, and how it 'doesn't count' like yikes).

Nb has only just been recognised, which is funny bc society literally made up gender and the rules and pretended that was how its encoded in DNA lmao.

Transpeople have it bad though. Between the cis straights, the cis queer community (primarily t*rfs and those who fall for misinformation) and the fetishists, and the medical community who treats them like an illness rather than people. Like, they are afforded respect if they 'pass', but even then it's still an EW factor.

Transwomen are seen as 'men in dresses who want to break into women's spaces' and treated horrifically; assaults are very high. Transmen are seen as butch women, and 'gender tr*itors' by the Crazy Motherfuckers we mentioned before; their assaults are high. They're not considered Real People unless they meet the ridiculously high standards for each gender; unless they perform Right.

I remember, but did not understand at the time bc I recall i was little, that there was a gameshpw bachelorette style and there was a big twist. You know what the twist was? That the bachelorette they'd been dating and trying to win over... was trans. I don't think that she knew it would be the big twist, either; of the two men remaining, bother were angry and one might have been sick. Might be on youtube.

But like, that's funny to the non-queer community. They put a huge fucking target on this woman's back, put her in danger of being hurt, abused, killed, by anyone who watched it. By the men who she had 'lied to' as they chose to frame it, of their weird white american families who could have sought revenge. Like yikes.

And intersex people (called h*rmaphrodites for a long time even by medical personnel) were also a p*rn category and/or medical curiosity for centuries. Not to mention all the cases of parents who just went with 'make them a (specific gender)' if there was mixed presentation, at birth, and got mad at the kids for being like "Hey so, you flipped the coin wrong and I'm ___" even thought the potential for this was always on the cards.

And the parents often make a big messa bout how their baby ___ is dead and gone, even if they DO accept the person/child as who they really are. It's like, I get it they have changed but you didn't mourn their first haircut or lost baby tooth like this and that was change too, chill.

-

Straight-passing is a projection and a weapon. Like, is it the people in the relationship's fault that society looks at the pair and decides they are m/f, straight and cis? Nah, it's what people are conditioned assume and that's on them.

We can't bring it into the queer spaces and keep perpetuating that shit, because it's nonsense. Queer people are dying in other countries and your friend wants to being smart-assed about the fact you hold hands with your nb datemate in public?

-

Nonsense. That's right up there with t*rfs and the gold-star bullshit that was going on for a few years there. Probs still is among the younger people lmaoooo.

'Passing priviledge' is a myth, and it is used to hurt people. Vulnerable people and those who need support / guidance and assistance from their queer communities more than ever. So try to talk to your friend or try The Whole Friend disposal services, either way, chill.

The real issue here is that any of us are at risk of a hate crime for daring to even show affection in public. That even in safe spaces, 'allies' and those wise enough not to be openly homo/trans/bi/pan/ace/aro/other phobic are still side-eyeing you and wanting to talk 'for you' without listening to the community itself.

We have bigger issues than this, and your friend (and some others on the internet) need to get a grip and prioritise.

[Insert strained analogy about being pro-child but childfree in a suburb where everyone got married out of high school and anticipates you and your partner will too, no matter how often you remind them No Thanks. But you babysat the other day and people thought you and your partner looked like 'naturals' when you took child to the park and played with them. And you remind them, hey, chill, we like kids too but it's not for us. And they get pissy and pushy.]

---------

I can only point it out from my perspective, I'm certain there other queer people from the above acronymn community who can present their thoughts on the matter to and what it means to them.

Thanks for the question, good-bi.

[actias-android]

So, okay, I don't usually like the gender to nonhumanity comparison but let's go with it for a second.

I have always felt...something. I've settled, eventually, as an ace, queer trans man with some additional nonbinary-ness. The road I took to get here was not short or simple, nor is it over, either; as long as I'm alive I could change and settle on another label, or even a whole different identity if that suits me better.

I know I have not really been entirely cis- or heterosexual, but what I have been has changed over the course of my life. I've been female and bisexual, but a tomboy; I've been female and not feminine but definitely a lesbian; I've been genderfluid, and attracted to only women; I've been nonbinary but statically so, and attracted to other nonbinary people; I've been a trans man and back to bisexual or pansexual again as far as attraction, though really mostly asexual insofar as sex being important to me or not.

I bring this up because it's become very common, especially in otherkin circles, to justify being otherkin as something like gender and orientation: it happens to you once and you have a One True You somewhere in there for your entire life, and the only direction you can go is towards this Real You. Anything else is a mistake.

This is nothing I've ever experienced with my own identity, which has wandered around in circles and occasionally gone sideways a bit, in any sense. Cool if that describes someone else out there, but it would be the height of ridiculousness to say that I wasn't really a lesbian when I identified as female and was solely attracted to females. Of course I was, because that's the term for someone like that, and that's the label I was proud to carry for that time. The person I was then with the understanding and feelings that I had then was a lesbian. That I later changed doesn't negate what was.

My understanding of myself is still evolving and will be until I stop breathing. So then, if being really, truly, for-real nonhuman is exactly like orientation and gender...well, then, that would mean that, at least for me, it would also evolve over time, and that each new step doesn't mean the ones that came before were somehow false, mistaken, or inauthentic. (What a horrible, high-stress thought...I couldn't deal with that.)

The other point is that my understanding of myself is, partly, not at all innate. I was not born with concepts or words for anything I've experienced. I didn't even realize that having attraction for more than one gender was anything unusual for my entire life up through college, and discovering the word 'bisexual' was a trip. I had never heard of trans people until later in college. I literally couldn't have identified myself as bisexual, trans, or even queer because those were not concepts I had. Being these things with these labels, as they're defined by others, is something that came to me through culture and society, and I decided eventually that they suit me as an expression.

This doesn't make my feelings more or less real. It's a lens through which I can process them. I could have had the same feelings, been the same person, and said, "I don't like these words. I think this isn't quite right." And really, even as I use them now, the nuance is close enough for rock and roll, but not entirely, 100% identical, but it's enough to be understood by others so it works.

Here's the part where I finally get around to what this has to do with otherkin. I don't see why any other aspect of identity has to be held to such a ridiculously high standard. Otherkinity itself is a community label, just like any other. If anything, it's most like gold-star gay (which is pretty outdated as a concept); you have to have always been this one thing and any deviation from the standard is grounds for losing your label.

I could, tomorrow, suddenly feel a very different way about my gender. Happened before, could happen again! I was still a trans man when I was one. Tomorrow I could wake up and not be fae anymore. I was still fae when I was fae. I wasn't mistaken, unless I choose to interpret it that way, but that's a choice I'm making. I've chosen to look at the evolution of my identity and give my past self the grace and understanding that I was not wrong when I decided who I was in the moment, and that life is defined by changes, and to give my future self the peace of mind and space to adjust course without fear of abandoning my own history.

I can't even imagine doing anything else, especially as so much of identity is informed by the culture around you. The discourse in the otherkin community regarding choice and its role in identity never seems to give the first thought to the fact that interpretation and labels are something external. Nobody is inherently otherkin, because otherkin is just a series of sounds; people may inherently feel that they're something other than human, but exactly what that is and what that means to them is a result of choosing to interact with others and accepting or rejecting various labels and defining concepts.

For my part, I can't breathe under the label of otherkin. I tried, but in the end, it was stifling, and had much more interest in telling me what I was not, by the standards of a bunch of people I've never met and don't think I would like much if I did. I'm happier being a faery without anyone else's rules telling me how I'm supposed to believe about past lives (all physically human as far as I know), or nonhuman memories (none whatsoever, thanks for asking), or whether or not I can choose to be this (I don't think I did, but I could un-choose it if I really wished to, and that's actually innate to my being fae).

And really, of course a faery is going to be happier without someone else's rules. If anything, deciding to not be otherkin is the more faery thing to do here.

Anyway this has been another vague, rambling post about why I don't like the label or the discourse and think they're both kind of full of shit, and also why I don't like the gender comparison that much. Gender is experienced just a little, if not a lot, differently by every person in the world, and for plenty of us, it's very malleable over time and probably better viewed as an ongoing process. Using it as a point of reference for something that's purportedly immutable by the most common definition is pretty damn silly in my opinion.