#literally fuck Cindy though! she's an awful person

[nevalizona]

It's crazy to me that literally watching anyone else other than Cindy (Pl*asantS*ms) and you'll see people that are genuinely having fun playing the S*ms and actually like want to get to know their s*ms. Cindy sometimes just seemed like she was nawt having fun bc she makes such strict rules for herself and she has a tendency to act better than everyone else bc she "actually" does what her s*ms want (aka what Cindy wants but she pretends she cares about their wants). It's just really frustrating listening to her talk about how much better she is for how she plays when she:

1). Doesn't ever remember her own rules despite having a whole ass website listing them all.

2). Does nawt keep track of her games. She claims to but y'all-.- she doesn't.

3). Only caring about making her s*ms have babies yet complaining and whining about babies and toddlers and even kiddos the *entire* time.

4). If she is making 20 s*ms, she only allows for two gay male s*ms and two gay female s*ms. She says anymore than that is "unrealistic".

I know I am missing more, but this is what came to my head first. I'm sure you're reading this and probably saying to yourself "Stevie, if this is how she has fun playing why does it matter to you?" And to that I would normally say it doesn't! It's just that sometimes she even seems miserable by her own rules. Like she isn't having fun but won't admit it. I think people should play The S*ms however way they get the most enjoyment. What I think you should nawt do is act better than everyone else because of how you play, especially when you aren't consistent with it in the first place.

[austinslounge]

I honestly tried to like Kaia, I truly did, but I can’t stand this shit anymore. Her desperate attempts to be popular, seem interesting and ”deep” are driving me insane at this point. I know it’s probably not her fault, but her parents’, they made her this cringy attention-seeker after all. I can’t understand what Austin sees in her other than her family’s connections or just a plain PR agreement. She has no personality, she always tries to gain popularity by copying her mother(or people she’s dating). It’s funny how she doesn’t even look that much like Cindy, sure, she’s beautiful, but Presley literally stole Cindy’s face. Her attempts to seem intelligent are also miserable. I’ve never seen any of her book club readings, because for me, most of her book recommendations are just airplane reads, but I’ve seen many people say that even when she’s talking about books, it seems scripted and staged. Like someone just gave her a summary and she retells what happened in the book, that’s it. I mean, what intelligence? She never even bothered to take basic acting classes. Her comments about nepotism speak volumes too. During the pandemic she bragged about having dinner reservations and partying with her friends. Her merch is awful. With all her money and resources, she could have made some really good stuff, but why would she?Her small insane fan base will pay 50$ for an ugly white shirt with a caption either way. She’s desperately clinging to anyone who can give her even the smallest amount of fame, her following people and then unfollowing them if they don’t follow back. The way she was clinging to Austin hardcore in July, dragging him away from his fans, when he wanted to interact with them. Her stupid cake for his birthday. Don’t even get me started on how she makes out with her female friends constantly or throws herself on her male costars or short SNL guys. I don’t know why I feel so annoyed and disgusted by her all the time. I swear, this girl spoils my excitement for Austin and his work every fucking time. Nepotism is not always a bad thing, there are talented nepo babies, but she’s like the epitome of everything I hate about nepotism. I don’t know how she can rub shoulders with people who actually have talent, get invited to all these awards and red carpets. Kaia had plenty of time to prove that she’s worth something, she’s been in the industry since she was a child, but no. Why would she prove anything? Her mother is Cindy Crawford, her father is a millionaire worth 400 million, her boyfriend is Austin Butler. I just wish she will go away finally. No matter how hard I try, I can’t warm up to her. Sadly, looking at the state she is now, you can clearly tell that the girl has issues, but sadly,having no brain,she can’t understand that she’s a tragedy about to happen.

💯

Girl! I wish I could give you an award for this post. You basically hit the nail squarely on the head with the many various reasons why a lot of us in Austin's fandom don't like this girl! I'd be saying the exact same thing if Austin were dating another woman just like this. I'm actually verrry surprised that people haven't called Kaia out on her very obvious clout-chasing by now.

I'll be honest, I never really cared for her even when she was dating Elordi. I don't hate her, she's just meh to me. Always has been. So my thoughts and feelings about her are not about Austin. It's more so about what I've observed about her over the years.

Her dating Austin just makes things even more unbearable though -- especially when you know that he could do so much better. 😩 But hey, it's his life, not mine!

When I realized they were dating however, I really did try to like her too, or at least give her a chance. I saw that Austin was with her, so I was trying to be a "good fan"and see what he may see in her. But last year, I started seeing more and more negative things that I just didn't like about her.

I really don't have much to add to this wonderful post, because you basically touched on the many various reasons why a lot of AB fans don't really care for her. I also think she makes Austin look cheap with her weird behavior and interests. 👀 She really cheapens his brand imo. But that's a topic for another day lol.

[luctisonusx]

Sick Of Vargulf’s || Drabble

I wrote this at work bc I was bored and the muse of Christina Wendell in my head was bouncing around wanting to harass my little baby Caleb so here it is. Ft Peter near the end

The full moon was getting closer and closer. With each passing day, Caleb grew more and more sick. Going to school was hard, but explaining what was happening to him to his dad or Cindy was certainly not an option. His brother, Alan, had commented on how awful he had looked that morning though and now as Caleb stood staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror he realized that his brother had been right. He did look awful.

His eyes were bloodshot and his face was pale -- an almost snow white. His lips were chapped, probably from the corroding effects of all the stomach acid he’d been vomiting up the last few days. He’d been ignoring Roman’s texts and calls. As much as Caleb wanted to be close with Roman, he just didn’t know how to share this with him. Though Caleb did want to reach out to Peter about this, he wasn’t sure if the other even seemed to know much about it. After all, Peter had been born this way. It was in his blood. He’d said. Caleb was not born this way. Everything about him was changing and it was terrifying.

“Wow. You look like shit.” A voice came from the door of the men’s bathroom and it pulled Caleb out of his thoughts. He turned to face the bearer of the voice only to be faced with the person he hated the most right now. Christina. He knew she was the vargulf. He just didn’t know how to tell Peter or Roman and what they would even do with the information. Then there was the question of would they even believe him? The look on her face was one of complete innocence, as if she hadn’t just insulted him. The wolf inside of him growled, begging to be let out to tear her apart and Caleb had to steady himself against the sink.

“Fuck you!” He spat and the girl blinked in surprise, walking further into the bathroom and seemingly barricading the bathroom door closed with the trash can. It felt like a threat of sorts, but he wasn’t sure what being a vargulf actually entailed. She looked so small and helpless. Surely if she tried something he could fight her off, right? Right? It didn’t feel right.

“I’d let you.” She says. Her voice is soft as if she hadn’t said something entirely vulgar to him. “But you can’t keep your eyes off the Godfrey boy and Peter too. Didn’t take you for a slut.” Caleb was literally shaking as she spoke to him. The malice was quickly seeping into her tone. What was her fucking deal? His lips pulled back into a snarl, but to her he looked like a trembling puppy. How cute.

“I made you.” Christina says, “And when the full moon rises, you’ll belong to me.” Caleb felt sick. He didn’t know what that meant. Had her bite not only changed him but marked him as what? Her servant? Her lover? The wolf seemed to indicate that that was a lie, but then again they hadn’t had their first full moon together. He didn’t know what that would be like. His stomach turned with his rage and he heaved once, twice, and then the contents of his stomach were all over the bathroom floor. The action seemed to pull the girl out of whatever trance she was in and her nose crinkled in disgust.

“Gross!” She exclaimed before dashing out of the bathroom, spilling the contents of the trash bin as she ran out. Caleb wasn’t sure why, but he started laughing then, holding his stomach while still hunched over. Spit and blood coated his bottom lip, a line of it hanging over the mess he had made. Caleb wasn’t sure how long he was like that, laughing with burning eyes until the door opened and in came Peter. The usual lazy look that was on his face disappeared quickly at the sight of Caleb and the gore that was all over the floor. 

“Sheeit.” He responded and that was enough to get Caleb to stop laughing and in it’s place, began to cry instead. He just wanted this to stop. He just wanted this to end. All of this. But the end in sight didn’t seem so bright now. What would he become on the next full moon? Was his fate sealed? Would he become a vargulf just like Christina? Would he be forced to be with her in whatever sick way she had planned? He didn’t want it.

“Let’s uh...Let’s get this cleaned up.” Peter said, grabbing a ton of paper towels and wiping up what he could. He took a few handfuls of water from the sink and poured it over the left over blood and by then Caleb had composed himself a bit, leaning against the wall as his legs felt like jello. He sniffled and Peter looked in his direction.

“You okay?” Peter asked.

“No.” Caleb said honestly.

“Understandable.” Peter scratched at his chin awkwardly, half wanting to ask what had happened, but he’d seen the fur in the vomit and he was smart enough to put two and two together. 

“You uh probably shouldn’t be here if you’re throwing up chunks like that.” Peter finally says and somehow Caleb finds it in him to roll his eyes. His anger was flaring back up despite himself.

“No shit, but there’s no logical way to explain this to my dad. Like Hey, Dad, I’m turning into a fucking werewolf and my first full moon is coming up where I may or may not survive and if I do may or may not become a vargulf, but it’s making me vomit like a lot. Mind if I stay home?” Caleb sighs and for a moment Peter doesn’t know what to say.

“I should get back to class.” Caleb says then, finally getting the strength to use his legs again. As he walked pass Peter, Peter lightly grabbed his wrist. The look on his face was the most serious Caleb had ever seen him.

“We’ll get through this...together.” Peter says, “Trust me.” Caleb holds his gaze for a second before someone else comes in. A guy who sometimes bullied the two of them, especially if they weren’t around Roman.

“What’s going on in here, gypsy heads? You sucking each other’s dicks in here or what?” The guy questioned in a stupid tone. Caleb wanted to turn and punch his face in. Why people in this town were so god damn racist against Romani’s was beyond him. Peter let go of Caleb’s wrist and Caleb walked out, bumping shoulders hard with the guy who had walked in, just to prove a point.

“What? Guy can’t take a fucking joke?” The guy asked, dumbfounded.

“Fuck off and go take a piss, man.” Peter said before going to the door. He peaked out to see if he could spot Caleb walking back to class, but he was gone.

[cainsnocreaturefeature]

She didn’t particularly know how to dance.

She also didn’t particularly know Nugget could dance.

But apparently he could, because the moment she found her bearings with those godforsaken heels Cindy insisted she wear he was leading her to the dance floor with the grace of a practiced dancer, practically running over everyone else with how tall and broad-shouldered he was. His suit made him stand out too - an incredibly light blue that appeared almost white to the untrained eye, the darker sections a cool cadet gray, his mask light blue with white handpainted snowflake designs on them. Cindy had gone all out with theirs.

I thought you’d both look great in each other’s colors, and thus, your theme, Cindy had told her offhandedly the moment she’d handed Lily her dress. So voila. A song of ice and fire. Fitting, since I thought you were a stone cold bitch before.

Pot, meet kettle, Lily had quipped back then.

Cindy scoffed. At least this round I’m a stone cold bitch to the people who deserve it. Now shoo. I need to fistfight Penny into choosing a color.

“Is the lovely Lily doing alright?”

Lily was snapped out of her reverie by a soft voice that could only belong to Nugget, whose emerald eyes shone with undisguised concern for his dance partner and date to the masquerade. “Ah… yeah, I’m fine, Nugget. Don’t worry about it.”

“Nugget will always worry about the lovely Lily,” He said seriously before raising his arm up and hers along with it - a signal for Lily to turn around once before falling back into the normal position for ballroom dancers. “But if the lovely Lily wishes for Nugget not to worry actively, then he won’t.”

A shift in the music. A turn in the tides.

The music became faster, more upbeat - and so Nugget and Lily adjusted. The clacking of Lily’s heels against the floor became more prominent as Nugget spun and twirled and dipped her like he’d been born to dance, and quite frankly Lily wondered if he’d been taking dance lessons on the side with Alice if he could dance this well-

“The lovely Lily is thinking hard again,” Nugget commented softly as he pulled her back up onto a stable standing position before leading her yet again.

Lily’s cheeks flushed gently, the fingers she’d interlocked with Nugget’s tightening slightly. “I was wondering if you’d taken dancing lessons with Alice at any point recently.”

“What made the lovely Lily think about that?” Nugget asked bemusedly.

Her cheeks darkened a little more. “I-It’s just- I didn’t know you could dance. Much less professionally. I feel like I’m dancing with a master when I’m just a beginner.”

“Nugget isn’t a master… but he did use to dance with Gramma when he was much younger,” The blond mused as the music slowed to a stop. With the end of the song, Nugget and Lily bowed to each other before joining together once more for another dance. “Gramma liked to listen to ballroom music while working, and Nugget was usually there. Nugget would dance with Gramma when she asked. Gramma taught Nugget most of what he knows.”

Lily remembered Grandma Groujon. The sweet old lady had been the lunch lady at the first kindergarten where she’d met Nugget, and honestly one of the nicest staff members present. Hell, she was unmatched - at least, until they’d met Bob in the second kindergarten.

Lily gave Nugget a smile as he lifted her in the air. The sudden loss of gravity made her panic a bit, but upon remembering that it was Nugget holding her she relaxed by a hair, her other arm going to circle around his neck. “That’s sweet, Nugget.”

“Not as sweet as the lovely Lily,” Nugget quipped.

Oh, how appropriate her attire. Suddenly her everything was on fire.

“I hate how you think you have the right to say that,” Lily grumbled as Nugget set her back down with a cheeky grin as the music slowed again to a stop.

As the musicians scrambled to set themselves upon a new piece, Nugget led Lily back to their table while he answered, “Does Nugget not have the right?”

“W- I mean. Y-yeah, of course you do…” Lily stammered before harrumphing and crossing her arms. “But it always catches me off guard! It’s not fair! I can never catch you off guard!”

Nugget blinked at her in bewilderment before admitting in the most honest tone Lily’s ever heard from him, “But the lovely Lily always catches Nugget off guard with how lovely she is every day. How can Lily say that when she does that every day?”

THERE IT IS AGAIN!

Lily wanted to disintegrate. Badly. It wasn’t fair that he could be so innocent and smooth at the same time. What kind of sick god out there let one person be both? God she just wanted to melt.

She, however, didn’t get the chance, because suddenly Nugget was seating her down on one of the chairs and he was sitting down next to her and oh, okay, so he was getting food for them. Neat. That was neat. A neat trick.

…

God she was a goner, wasn’t she?

Lily buried her face in her hands.

“Lily?”

She looked up. Standing in front of her was none other than Billy, who was peering down at her curiously. By his side was Kidd, who seemed to be on the lookout for something, but from what he’d said before when he’d shown up at the Kurosawa doorstep, she didn’t think too hard about it.

-=-=-

“You look like hell,” She told him bluntly.

Kidd barked out a harsh laugh. His left arm rested against the doorframe as he tried to catch his breath. “Tell me something I don’t know, Lilith.”

“Ooh, my full name, I’m terrified,” Lily rolled her eyes before yelping as Kidd swooned and quite nearly fell over her. “Jesus, Kidd! I know I said you look like hell but you don’t need to prove it!”

With a muffled groan, Kidd just rested his chin on top of Lily’s head. “Can I please come in. Please.”

“Dumbass. Of course you can, come on- BILLY! GET OVER HERE! KIDD NEEDS HELP!”

A crashing noise. A bang.

Billy tumbled down the stairs unharmed before scrambling to his feet to assist.  Lily didn’t even bother asking why he’d tumbled down the stairs at the call. “It’s like, nearly nightfall, Kidd. Shouldn’t you be home?”

“Can’t go home. Someone killed Alice.”

“SOMEONE KILLED-” Kidd immediately slapped his hands on both LIly and Billy’s mouths, shushing them harshly.

“The door’s still WIDE OPEN. Come on, let’s move this inside.”

He shut the door behind him.

-=-=-

“Hey, Billy,” Lily greeted, straightening up. “Party going well for you?”

“Mmhm. Can’t get anybody to dance with though. Don’t blame them - they’ve got you and Nugget to beat, after all,” Billy winked, causing Lily to flush furiously again. “Aw, don’t be shy. You two are great at dancing.”

“He is, anyway - you know I’m terrible at this!”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Lil. It’s just dancing,” Billy punched her shoulder before crossing his legs and crossing his arms, leaning back on his chair. For Billy, Cindy had chosen a practically nonexistent motif, claiming that he was ‘water’ in contrast to Nugget’s ice and Lily’s fire. But that was probably just her bullshitting, she reasoned. “And besides, you know as well as I do that he loves you regardless.”

There was the word again. You’d think she’d be used to it by now, but noooo.

“Are you actually blushing because I said he l-”

“Stop. D. Don’t.” Lily quite nearly gnashed her knuckles with her teeth.

Billy gave her a deadpan stare. “You two. Are LITERALLY dating.”

“ALMOST dating. That’s the difference. We haven’t formally asked each other out yet-”

“WHAT THE F-”

“CALM DOWN, BILLY! YEESH!” Lily reached out to shoosh him, settling him back down into his chair just as Nugget came back with what appeared to be an array of entrees all arranged on one platter and at least three different drinks on another platter.

Billy gave him a grin as Nugget set them all down. “Already taking a hit at the buffet table?”

“Before Ron does, yes,” Nugget quipped before sitting down next to Lily again. “Nugget sees you have been hanging around friend Kidd still. Any luck on that front?”

Billy’s red face told Nugget everything.

“Nugget supposed not. Such is the plight of poor Billy.”

“Don’t make us sound like some Shakespearean tragedy, geez,” Billy grumbled. “Anyway, Buggs found Madison, Jerome, and Ozzy earlier.” He gestured towards the side, where Buggs and the trio were heading over.

Lily perked up - it’d been a while since she’d seen any of them. Since any of them had seen the trio abroad, actually. “Oh! They made it!” Pause. “Wait, Buggs made it too? Where’d he get an outfit? Did Cindy know he’d make it?”

“Uh. That’s the surprise, actually. We helped him do some last minute shopping. Don’t tell Cindy, okay?” Billy shushed her with a conspiratorial grin. The last time Lily had seen that grin, he’d been trying to set up for Monty and/or Carla to admit that they were in some way or form dating. It hadn’t been a success.

Lily gave him a look.

“Lil, c’mon. It’ll work, trust me.” Billy reassured as Cindy the parrot neared them, fluttering over to Nugget and nestling in his hair. “This is like, Buggs and Cindy we’re talking about here. They’re not as skittish about the topic as Carla and Monty.”

“About what topic?” Buggs asked, raising an eyebrow as he stood right behind Billy’s chair.

Billy leaned backwards to give him a grin. “About Cindy and you being in a relationship.”

“How many times do I have to beat the idea out of your soul, Kurosawa?” Buggs grumbled. “She’s not looking, I’m still soul searching. Not ready for anything and I sure as hell will not burden her with the me running around trying to find myself.”

“And Nugget’s not in love with Lily,” Billy shot back flatly, making Lily choke on the glass of Four Seasons she’d begun to drink. Nugget seemed oddly placid about it, smiling pleasantly at Billy as he patted and rubbed Lily’s back as she choked. “Seriously, dude. You named your parrot after her. You might as well be making googoo gaga eyes.”

“Like you are with Kidd?” Buggs replied just as dryly. “Don’t fucking shoot things at me that you do yourself, dirt for brains.”

Billy turned red, and Lily looked up at Kidd. Thankfully enough, he didn’t seem to have heard - but he did have his sights set elsewhere. “Kidd?”

“...”

“Kidd.” Lily called again.

“... Huh? Oh,” Kidd turned back to face them. It was eerie, the way Cindy had designed his mask. While everyone else’s masks had the traditional eyeholes, Kidd’s mask had three horizontal slits for each eyehole instead, hiding whatever his eyes could have been expressing in terms of emotions. The mask itself also curved in such a way that the scars visible on his face were hidden the best they could be. Everything about his mask obscured his face, and while she supposed it was typical of Kidd, it was still eerie in general. “What is it, Lily?”

Lily pursed her lips as Madison, Ozzy, and Jerome all took their seats around them at the table. Maybe they needed to get two tables. “You seem distracted. Pretty girl catch your eye?”

She was mostly jokingly referring to Alice, but Kidd only replied with, “Sure. I guess you could say that,” before turning back to where he was looking.

“Seriously, Kidd. You seem tense,” Jerome rested his cheek against his palm, his elbow on the table as he looked at Kidd. “I know pretty girls wouldn’t bother you like this. You’re like… unflappable.”

“Thanks…?”

“You know what I mean. Spill.”

“Just... looking out for Ted and Penny, that’s all,” Kidd admitted, visibly turning his head so the others could follow where he was looking - to Ted, being forced to converse with what appeared to be Applesoft’s business partners alongside his father and mother.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Huxley had at least one of their hands on his shoulders in such a manner that made it seem as though they were afraid to let go of him, but from where they were all watching, it seemed that Ted was quickly slipping into a comfortable manner of speech with the partners - a good sign. Ted had been anxious about the whole thing from the beginning, so to see him at least relaxing slightly about it meant that he’d be okay, at the very least.

“He looks like he’s doing well,” Buggs commented mildly.

Madison looked around curiously. “But where’s Penny?”

“Probably still fist fighting Cindy about her dress,” Lily echoed offhandedly. When everyone turned to stare at her words, it occurred to her that maybe she should have worded that differently. “I mean. Uh. When I got my dress Cindy shooed me away so she could ask Penny which of her dresses she’d be wearing and coordinate accessories for it. There’s a possibility Penny hasn’t chosen yet.”

Jerome raised an eyebrow. “This late into the party?”

“She could just put on red to match Ted,” Ozzy mused, observing Ted’s outfit. “He looks dashing. Why the feather motif though?”

“Something about swans, I bet,” Buggs said. “She’s been dying to make something about them for forever.”

Billy hummed, sipping on his own drink. “Would explain the feather motif on Penny’s dress too. I like it.”

“You like everything she makes.” Jerome snorted. 

“She’s good at her work!”

“Is that the kind Penny?”

Nugget’s words caught everyone’s attentions as they followed to where he was pointing. From the entrance of the ballroom from the garden side, a cloaked figure entered the fray, holding one of the invitations to the masquerade. As the figure pulled back the hood, a familiar mask and blonde hair revealed itself.

“So she went with the red one. Nice. Never seen Penny in red before,” Ozzy leaned forward on the table, lacing his fingers together and making a cushion for his chin. “She looks absolutely radiant.”

Madison hummed in agreement. “Ted’s got good taste.”

“She really is a vision in red...” Lily agreed before looking at Kidd, who seemed to be oddly stiff. “... Kidd?”

“... I need to talk to Penny,” were his only words before he took off, leaving the party in the dust.

“Where’s he off to in such a rush?” Buggs asked, raising an eyebrow as Kidd weaved through the various ballroom dancers to get to the lady in red across the room. “Penny would’ve found us sooner or later. He didn’t need to run.”

Billy tugged on his sleeve nervously. “... Maybe he really needed to tell her something.”

-=-=-

“Alice died. But I looped. Remember when I looped when we were kids and I told you that it suddenly stopped?”

“I can loop again. But before I found out, Alice died.”

“She died because of something a lot like Penny’s old laser.”

“There’s something wrong, you two. And I think Penny and Ted are the eye of the storm.”

-=-=-

Lily shook her head free of the things Kidd had told her. At the feeling of Nugget’s hand gently holding hers, she only sighed and squeezed his hand, trying to reassure herself that Kidd was probably just paranoid.

He probably isn’t though. He’s never been wrong about these things... right?

... Right.

[nothing-but-kpop-dreams]

Just "Friends" (5.5/?)

A/n: sooooo sorry this literally took forever. My job is hoenstly so crazy and i either dont have time to write or i am too tired.

All Parts

“Three! Two! One!”

The freezing rain was quick to snap you back into reality. The thin soles of your shoes barely had enough traction to keep you on your feet as you ran down the crowded and slippery walkways.

For a dude that you never saw walk faster than a snail's pace, Yoongi was actually a fast runner. You were barely able to keep up with him. It could have been that he was secretly fit or the fact that the rain felt like bullets of ice shooting down on you but the two were back in that dirty alleyway he found you crying at in what felt like ten seconds.

He was quick to usher you past the garbage bins you once hid behind all those weeks ago and pushed open the back entrance of his apartment building.

“We made it!” he huffed, trying to catch his breath from the burst of activity.

You looked up at him. His blue locks were plastered to his forehead and his shirt was completely soaked. His shirt stuck to his body like plastic wrap and the bottoms of his pant legs were a darker shade of blue compared to his thighs.

You on the other hand were only standing in soaked sneakers while the neckline of you shirt was the only other thing to get the most damage. Yoongi’s coat protected you from most of the water and you felt a bit bad that you had it on the whole time. 

“Here you should take your coat back now.” you said, so that he'd at least have something to keep him warm.

He took the coat from you but didn't put it on. “It's alright I’m gonna change out of these clothes right now. Might as well lend you another sweater too.”

“Nah, its ok.”

“I said I'm lending you a new sweater.” he “insisted” kindly as he grabbed your hand again and began to lead you to his apartment.

Second floor, the second door on the left and you were in his humble abode. 

“Okay, warning, I wasn't expecting this to happen so sorry that my place is kind of a mess.” He said a bit late considering you were already standing in the middle of his apartment.

You took a look around. It was a decent sized place, probably a bit bigger than your apartment, definitely cleaner. If he thought this was bad, he must consider your place a landfill by comparison. “No worries, it's cool, but where's holly though?” You asked excitedly.

“Oooh, he isn't here today. My brother took him for a few days”

“Aw, then what's the point of being here?” you whined

“To finish our date with some good ole fast food... or would you rather be out in the rain? Cuz i can very easily kick you out!” He said with a grin.

“I mean if those are my own options, imma get an uber!” You said jokingly.

“Like I'd let you get in some stranger's car.” he smiled more sincerely, very much noticing your cheeks turn a deep shade of pink. “Wait here and decide what you want us to order while I get changed. There's a few take out menus by the fridge if you want to look at those!” His voice trailed off as he went down his hall and into one of the bedrooms.

Very timidly did you make your way to his kitchen and took a "quick" look around for the menus he was talking about. It could have been possible you snooped through the cabinets and drawers, but it was just a thorough look at the place that's all.

The menus sat there by the fridge just as he said. There wasn't too much to choose from

“Burgers, sushi, pizza- oh that doesn't sound too bad right now, ohhh mexican food!” you were getting hungrier and hungrier as you looked through the pictures of the different foods.

“Boo!” A shout suddenly came from behind you and you felt a pair of hands grab your shoulders!

You let out a shriek. With eyes closed shut you spun around wildly throwing fists at your opponent.

“Chill!” You could hear yoongi laugh. His hands grabbed your fists to stop you from trying to hit him. “It's just me!”

He had a cute laugh, but right now wasn't the time you were going to let him get away with it. “Oh just you? All the more reason to do this!” you hissed, ripping one hand away and smacked him on the shoulder.

Yoongi only laughed some more. "I had to do it. It's pay back for scaring me at the park.” he justified.

“Ugh, fine. We're even.” You grumbled, taking notice of his new "outfit". Yoongi was sporting a faded orange t shirt that made his towel dried blue hair pop even more, paired with some black skinny jeans.

"And here! This is for you, you scaredy cat." He chuckled, pulling off the black sweater hanging from his shoulder and holding it out for you to slide on.

You rolled your eyes at him but complied.

The black sweater was huge. It was like he draped you with a blanket. It was thick and soft and all around perfect.

"Thank you." You smiled like a spoiled brat.

You looked up at him to find him with the same look he had during the whole movie.

His eyes were locked on you, but his face was a deep shade of pink. He was frozen in a stance where he was leaning in closyoongiyou, but not close enough to break your bubble of personal space. Yet again it was like he was holding himself back from making a move.

You yourself felt your face getting hot. You wondered if he was finally going to make a move or not. 

After what felt like full on minutes of him just staring, he still did nothing. 

Maybe it was your turn to try and get the ball rolling.

Without much thought, you reached out your sweater paws and grabbed his hands, moving him closer to you.

Your touch seemed to startle him, as if you disrupted his train of thought. You couldn't help but crack a smile when his eyes looked back at you with subtle look of shock.

You probably caught him off guard. Up until now he had been the one to make all the advances. He was the one to text first, hold your hand first, and was always the one to ask to hang out. 

It's not that you ever turned him down in any way, but you also never put yourself out there with him. Why? You weren't completely sure. It could be that part of you still saw him as your nothing-but-pure-evil high school bully or that you were traumatized by any type of possible rejection after your drama with taehyung. Regardless, it wasn't really fair to him to not reciprocate anything. 

"So yoongi, I've been meaning to tell you something." You started. 

"Hm?" Was all he was able to get out, suddenly so nervous around you.

"Shockingly enough… I don't hate spending time with you." you confessed.

Yoongi couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "I told you I wasn't that bad." He mumbled shyly.

Silence fell between you two again. Neither one of you knew what to say next. 

"... I-um... y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"I've been meaning to ask you something... I'm sure it's pretty obvious at this point, but I like spending time with you an-"

"Ay yo! Yoongi!" A voice came from the now open front door.

The two of you looked over at the front entrance and honestly, you weren't too surprised to see who it was. Even with his back towards you due to peeling off his soaked coat, he looked like he hadn't changed a bit since high school. 

"Dude, you need to answer your fucking phone!" His voice filled the empty silence of the apartment. "Namjoon and I were creating such fire, all we needed was-" his blood ran cold when he turned around and saw you standing with Yoongi in kitchenette. "Oh! A girl!"

Jung hoseok, aka Hobi, aka Yoongi's partner in crime all through high school, stood in awe at the sight of you. Hoseok and Yoongi were always together back in the day. Most of the school was convinced Hoseok flunked a grade too just to be in class with Yoongi. And even years after graduation, it seems like they are still inseparable.

"What were you saying Hoseok?" Yoongi's voice was a full out groan now. 

You on the other hand were a but too shookth to even wave him and just stood there like a statue. You weren't trying to be rude, but you weren't exactly friendly with Hoseok in high school, you know, cuz him being Yoongi's hype man in his bullying raids and all (of course now trying to accept the fact he was trying to be more of a wing man back then).

Upon landing his eyes on you, hoseok plastered on a smile and made his way over to you guys. "Oh it's nothing, but who's your lady friend here?" He asked walking up next to the both of you.

By this point you and Yoongi had let go of each others hand, so shy about being put on the spot.

"Hi, I'm hoseok by the way." He said bringing an arm out to shake your hand and not even letting Yoongi answer the question.

"I know." You said smiled awkwardly. " I still remember you from high school."

Now it was Hoseok's turn to freeze. "High school?  We went to high school together?" He was suddenly looking at you more intensely, doing his best to try and remember you.

Suga let out a frustrated sigh. "Do you really not remem-"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Hoseok's finger stopped Yoongi's lips from moving, all while having his eyes locked on you.

Immediately Yoongi slapped his hand away

"Oh my gosh" Hoseok whispered. "It's you! Cindy, right? Cindy from algebra 2?!"

Hoseok literally didn't even let you answer his question, he just attacked you with a hug. "Oh damn it's great to see you! It's been so long! how've you been?" He screamed joyously.

"She not Cindy you idiot!" Yoongi said pulling Hoseok off you. "It's y/n. She was a grade below us remember? Fuck, we all ended up graduating together stupid!"

"Whoops sorry! You and the girl I was thinking about look alot alike!" Hoseok laughed.

*You and Cindy, in fact, did not look alike*

"So we graduated together, huh? What's your last name???"

"You gotta be fucking kidding me!" yoongi grumbled. "Hoseok, this is the same y/n i liked back in high school." He spoke in a growl, so frustrated and a bit embarrassed over Hoseok's horrible memory.

Hoseok's eyes opened wide. "Oh…. Oooh!" He froze for a second "Oh you're that y/n." He said under his breath. Again, he stuck his hand out for a handshake. "Well hello again!" He said back in his original tone. "It's great to see you after all these years. You haven't changed a bit!" His tone, although, polite expressed a hint of what you felt could either be nervousness or embarrassment. "Um by the way… why are you here?"

"Hoseok!" Yoongi snapped.

"What?" The questioned innocently. "Last I remember, she hated us."

"I used to." You butted in. "...But now I don't." Without even thinking about it. your eyes trailed over to Yoongi and you couldn't hold back the little smile that formed on your face.

Hoseok very much so noticed the look you gave Yoongi. "So uh- so uh-" he was just waving his hands weirdly between the two of you "so uh what's going on over here then? Hm? Whats- whats a- going on between the two of you?" He asked, his eyebrows jumping mischievously.

"We're on a date." You said blankly. 

Remembering how over the top Hoseok was back then (and seeing how he is now) you didn't want to add any fuel to his over dramatic fire by beating around the bush.

Immediately, his smile widened. His smile was so big you could see all his teeth. The boy was practically an attack on titan titan with the face he made. 

"Say it ain't sooooooo!!!!" He screeched at Yoongi. 

"It is! So now can you let us order some damn food?" A red face yoongi growled.

"Oh food! What we orderin'?"

"No, no,no. Just y/n and i. You want food, then you go out and get some." Yoongi ordered, grabbing Hoseok by the shoulders and attempting to guide him out the kitchenette.

"But it's still raining!" Hoseok whined.

"So?"

"C'mon! Hey y/n don't you wanna catch up with me over some… pizza? How about mexican food?" Hoseok pleaded as he held onto the counter, now from the other side of the breakfast bar. "I'll chip in this time!" He proposed, just as Yoongi tried to get the front door open with one arm while the other was gripping onto the back of hoseok's shirt.

"Nope!" With one swift yank, Yoongi put Hoseok out in the hall and he shut the door in his face.

Yoongi kept himself at the front door for a moment, putting all his weight in case Hoseok tried to come back in. Meanwhile, you were having a laugh attack at the sight of two men in their twenties acting like actual children.

"C'mon man! Let me in! Hoseok shouted through the door."

"No, I won't let you mess up this date!" Yoongi shouted back "And shut up the neighbors will get mad.

"Fine! … but can i at least get my jacket? It's still raining."

Very strategically, Yoongi grab hoseok's coat without allowing the front door to completely open. 

"Bye y/n!" Hoseok shouted "niceseeingyou!youandyoongidonthavetoomu-"

Yoongi yet again cut hoseok's attempt to embarrass him off by shoving the wet coat in his face and slamming the door shut.

You continued to laugh on your own seeing a defeated yoongi place his head on the front door. It was very easy to tell that his best friends had a tendency to do something like this alot.

You both knew any chances of yoongi being cool after this were out the window.

"So…" he sighed, still hiding his probably blushing face from you. "did you figure out what you wanted to eat?"

-Admin Boat

[runningwolf62]

@wardencommanderrodimiss, @pachelbelsheadcanon Oh my god I hate case fics, have the first half of Turnabout Ablaze.

-

At first, it’s a pretty simple routine. Get up. Get dressed. Walk the dog. Go back to Edgey’s apartment. Apply for jobs. Write fic. Rinse and repeat.

The chapter is less of a mess than Larry had originally thought and while his readers love it, they have questions and Larry wishes he had answers. WolfDragon offers what support he can, apparently he’s got something coming up with work, his coworker, who he compares to being “frighteningly like Viper from your fic” has something for him that’s gonna keep him busy for the foreseeable future but Larry already misses him. Like, he’s not gonna sit around waiting for him to get back, but he finds that WolfDragon’s really become part of his life and he’s gonna miss being able to chat with him quite as much.

Pess is good company though as he binges his way through Edgey’s collection of Steel Samurai, occasionally he texts him a picture of the TV with some caption as he reacts to whatever is happening in the episode. Edgeworth seems largely amused by Larry’s reactions though occasionally he asks his opinion on a plot twist or writing choice, but given his focus is on visiting his family in Germany he doesn’t have too much time to talk.

But then, a few days into Edgeworth’s vacation, something pops up on Larry’s radar. Namely because he’d been searching “Steel Samurai” in an attempt to find a reference for some art to draw Edgeworth, partially as a joke, partially as a thank you. But this is the answer to Larry’s prayers. Sort of.

The embassies are hiring, of all things, someone to perform in a stage play of Steel Samurai. Larry figures fuck it, and throws his hat in the ring. It can’t hurt to try and plus he’s still working on getting published.

Something that hurts to even think about, because he misses sitting with Elise and talking about plot ideas, just the camaraderie of having someone to sit with and work with. He misses having a mentor and it guts him still to think about writing serious work.

He knows he needs to though. He needs to strike while the iron’s hot, but he’s made a deal with himself. Find a new place, find a new job to pay the bills, and then he goes back. He’ll give himself that much time, that should be enough time to mourn.

What he doesn’t expect, is that he hears back almost immediately. Like later that day immediately.

But Larry’s not one to turn down a chance at work, however brief this will be. So, he says yes.

He waits to tell Edgeworth though because he wants to see his face.

-

Oh, he sees Edgeworth’s face alright. Larry prides himself on everything Nick taught him in college and then stuff he picked up in his time working here that he doesn’t break character when Miles Edgeworth himself asks for his autograph. He really cannot wait to see his face now. He might have to film it. He tries to wink at him as he hands over the autograph, but he doesn’t think Edgeworth sees it. He doesn’t recognize the young girl with him either, she reminds him of Maya though, something about her eyes, bright chirping voice and dark hair.

Edgy and Nick were just adopting kids all over the place huh?

He remembers what he’s here to do though. This is a big moment, a big goodwill thing, no pressure Larry. No pressure. Just shaking a guy’s hand.

Thankfully that ends without incident, Larry feels like he’s riding some kind of high. He’s not only impressed Edgeworth, admittedly not that Edgeworth knew that, but he’s done a massively impressive thing without fucking it up! Though now that it’s over, he did just kind of shake a guy’s hand. Like, yeah, the gesture was important, but it was just an everyday thing really. He tells himself that in the hopes his heart rate will go back down to normal.

Well, honestly, getting out of his costume and getting some fresh air might help. He takes a secret staircase up and out during the Jammin’ Ninja thing to go sit on the roof and take his helmet off and just cool down.

He does let out a fist pump and a cheer though. Larry Butz, Turnabout Champion in his own right after all.

He takes the time to relax, rehydrate, and admire the chimney, it’s got some interesting architecture though he’s not sure why anyone would have a fire going now. It’s LA in March it’s not that cold, it shouldn’t be smoking. He gets so lost in studying the chimney that he kind of forgets he’s supposed to head down to his room and then to the speech.

Until the police arrive, to find him still admiring architecture.

And he’s accused of murder.

Again.

Larry decides at this point the universe is against him this year.

He lets himself be dragged back downstairs, holy shit there’s an actual dead body, he feels his breath stop in his throat, memories of Elise, er, Misty, and the memory of Cindy haunting him as he stares at the body.

He steps back as this very aggressive - did he actually just snarl at him – Interpol agent steps towards him, he wants to be back on the roof, away from her, away from the body and the accusations, just long enough to clear his head and think.

He backs away and right into something solid that grunts as Larry crashes into them. The pitch suggests male. The whip that makes his head spin, literally as his mask spins around him, suggests someone else.

“What do you think you're doing to my subordinate!?” Yeah, he knows that voice and whip. He quickly pulls his helmet off so that he can see her, “uh hi aga- Edgy?”

Edgeworth’s eyes about leap out of his skull, and Von Karma spares him a glance, long enough to ask, “who is this fruitcake!?” Okay now that felt harsh.

“I am Larry of the House of Butz: Married Man of Neo Olde Tokyo, m’ ma’am!” He would not say m’lady he had not sunk that low, he had not. His head was still kind of spinning though, and given he’d smashed his name together with the Steel Samurai’s introduction he might also have some kind of heat exhaustion.

“Now I remember. This... person is one of your childhood friends, isn't he, Miles?”

Edgeworth softens slightly as he seems to take in Larry’s frantic state, “yes… he is.”

Larry laughs a bit nervously, “Hey! It’s good to see ya, I’m in a bit of a bind.” He also hadn’t realized Edgeworth was back in town, had they missed each other? He’s been walking Pess, even with his now hectic schedule, the show coming up had caused the past week to be a bit of a blur.

Edgeworth’s eyes narrow and Larry fights the urge to shift around nervously, “what sort of "bind" are we talking about here...?”

Larry glances over his shoulder at the agent behind him, who also had narrowed eyes and a cruel, sharp, sneer, “the suspect kind! I accidentally became a suspect in a murder!”

“I see. That is quite the bind.” Edgeworth sounds calm though as he took in the room so maybe things will be okay. Maybe.

Von Karma arches an eyebrow and tugs on her whip, “...Not that we're in the least bit surprised.”

Edgeworth makes a noise in his throat while Larry feels himself deflate like a balloon. Namely like the one he launched into Gourd lake. Sounds like a good idea right now. Not just ‘cause he felt like shit, but he was also sweating in the costume.

“Franziska, he has been making quite the effort to improve himself,” Edgeworth speaks quietly but firmly, “I assure you; he’s only improved.”

Larry gives him a grateful look while Franziska eyes him critically, Larry hates how he feels himself coming up short as she sizes him up. But the she nods.

“Well then, fools of a feather flock together.”

Edgeworth nods and then seems to take in Larry’s outfit, “wait!”

Larry grins at him tiredly, “surprise? I hope you liked the autograph?” he really hopes Edgeworth did, he hopes that had made him happy in some way.

Edgeworth is gawking at him again, “you were the… On stage…”

“Yeah?”

“Not to interrupt,” the voice that cuts in is one clearly delighted to interrupt and Larry about jumps out of the suit when the hand comes down on his shoulder.

Edgeworth’s eyes harden to flint as he takes in the man next to Larry. “Aha. So, this is the incident you mentioned earlier.”

The Agent grins and Larry feels like the big bad wolf is hanging off his shoulder, “Mr. Prosecutor, this man... this childhood friend of yours... is our prime suspect. Of what, you ask? Of the murder of a man who had snuck into this embassy, Mask☆DeMasque II!”

“There was a second one?” Larry looks at him in surprise, he almost feels himself throw up, he doesn’t need a reminder of that god awful week, and this time without WolfDragon and Nick to help pull him out of it, he doesn’t need to remember the break up, the fight, the foolish, stupid-

“useless looking young man”

He bites back bile and has barely zoned back in when he hears Edgeworth ask someone, a different detective? Where had he come from?

“Why exactly was that man placed under arrest, Detective?”

The detective glances at him curiously, “that... samurai?”

Edgeworth grins slightly, “he was born looking suspicious, but not for the reasons you suspect, I assure you. As you can plainly see, he is completely harmless.” Larry gives him a dirty look, now is not the time for jokes but Edgeworth doesn’t seem to mean anything by it other than light ribbing.

The detective looks at him and hesitates, “well, it was just a random guess... It's not like he's actually under arrest...”

What? Larry spins to look at the agent, who had certainly made it sound like he was being arrested before he decides that is not a man he wants to fight. Samurai sword or no.

“Tonight, here, at the Allebahstian Embassy Ambassador Alba was to give a commemorative speech. And that's when... the Yatagarasu showed. But keep in mind... the Yatagarasu isn't who I'm talking about right now.”

Larry tries to catch Edgeworth’s eyes, the whomst? But Edgeworth’s focus is on the detective as he continues.

“Those seats for the guests who had been called to sit in them were empty.””

Edgeworth glances at Larry out of the corner of his eye, “a no-show...? Who was it that failed to take their seat?”

“Me,” Larry muttered miserably, “I was up on the roof.” And had completely forgotten.

The detective, Larry leans to see the name Badd – is that a joke?!? – pinned on his shirt. “The Steel Samurai. Until the speech was to begin, each member of the entire Steel Samurai family was to wait in a separate room, However, for some weird reason that man was spotted in a different location than his assigned room at that time.”

“On the roof,” Edgeworth finishes, and glances at Larry, “and what, were you doing up there?”

Larry tugs on his collar, “After the show, I left the pushcart in the Rose Garden, and came into the embassy. Then, they took a picture of me shaking hands with the ambassador. After that, and until my next appearance, I had some free time, so I wandered around, and I was overheating so I thought I’d go outside and cool off. Celebrate a little.” Stupid, stupid, stupid. “That's when I spotted the chimney. A chimney like that is a rare thing, you know.” He bites back his excitement, “and I was busy admiring the architecture and missed my cue and that’s when they found me on the roof.”

“You were just up there cooling off?” Edgeworth repeats, as though there’s doubt. Larry shrugs his shoulders.

“Did a little people watching too and that sort of thing but mostly yeah.” He pauses, “I was also wondering why smoke was pouring out of it, given it’s March. In LA. You know, not the time to cuddle up in front of a fire.”

He folds his arms and tilts his head to think, “which is really weird ‘cause I think that’s Mindy’s room and she was taken away on a stretcher so I don’t know why she’d want to overheat.”

Edgeworth and Von Karma startle at that and he realizes he’s probably handed them some evidence they’ll need to make sense of. He gives them a chance to prowl around the room and investigate, doing his best to stay out of the way while keeping Edgeworth between him and the wolf guy. He has a very intense stare as he watches Larry from across the room, he certainly knows his aesthetic and lives up to it.

"I must again ask why we are helping this foolish fool," Von Karma asks with a glance over at Larry, who grins sheepishly.

Edgeworth glances at his sister, "that man helped me when I was at my lowest point and believed that I could return. I would like to offer Larry the same chance."

"Thanks, Edgy- wait that man? Do you mean-"

"Can someone please get the Pink Princess so we can ask her some questions?" Edgeworth smoothly steamrolls over Larry's confusion. That man really.

The wolf man huffs, eyes narrowing as he watches them, Larry feels very much like a rabbit might under the gaze of a wolf. Edgeworth’s attention turns to him now and the investigator shifts to address him.

“You did some investigating over in the Babahlese Embassy, too, right?”

Edgeworth nods once, “I did. Is there a problem?” It’s like a tennis match, though Larry thinks Edgeworth prefers when his partner on the court (hah) is Nick.

“Lang Zi says: ‘A wolf who aims to hunt for two rabbits at once...’” he rumbles, almost a warning and Larry kinda wishes he could be that intimidating.

Edgeworth keeps his cool though, and Larry is very impressed. “I believe the idiom you require is, ‘He who runs after two hares will catch neither.’”

The agent scoffs openly at that, “A real wolf can catch both.”

Edgeworth smirks just slightly and Larry knows he’s got him. “I see. So, what are you trying to say, seeing as how I am currently handling two cases?”

The agent pauses before he snorts again, “suit yourself. But don't say I didn't warn you.” Larry isn’t sure he even did that in the entire conversation but he’s having the horrifying realization of why the agent’s way of talking sounds familiar. He talks like WolfDragon. But like WolfDragon if he was a rampant asshole.

Edgeworth turns to Larry now, “I have some questions for you.”

“I’ve got some for you as well,” Larry folds his arms over his chest, the costume clanging slightly as he does, “what’s with you and that man” he rolls his eyes at the term, “and adopting kids? Like you turn your back and he’s got another one and now you’ve got one hanging off you. Where is she by the way?”

“She couldn’t get- she is not my- I am not adopting anyone,” Edgeworth flusters and the agent lifts his eyebrow.

“Maybe you two could be childhood friends.” He mused out loud, Larry gives him a dirty look before he can think better of it.

The pink princess arriving keeps Larry’s foot out of his mouth for the moment. “Hey!” He greets her cheerfully; he likes Mindy and thinks she likes him. Thinks she liked him a lot more when he mentioned off handedly that he wasn’t dating right now because he was focusing on getting himself and his life back in order. “Feeling any better?”

There’s no response and Larry finds that a bit unsettling. “Umm.”

Edgeworth and Von Karma glance at her and then begin musing over the fireplace, Larry has no idea how the fireplaces could be connected; his only experience with architecture was drawing it. He could admire it, but he didn’t know the mechanics.

But it’s important to the two of them obviously. Larry’s not sure how he feels watching them interact. It’s like they almost get along but can’t help sabotaging their own relationship.

Edgeworth turns from his sister and the fireplace to Mindy, “Ms. Pink Princess. I have a few questions I'd like to ask you.”

Once more she doesn’t answer, and Larry and Edgeworth share a concerned look. The agent shifts his weight slightly, Larry realizes in that moment if something has happened to Mindy at least he’ll be on their side in this.

Edgeworth took a step forward, calmly, “Ms. Pink Princess! If you would please answer...” as he spoke, she began to remove her helmet and Edgeworth’s voice definitely shot up an octave on “me!”

Edgeworth makes a noise like a computer finding an error and Larry was given vivid flashes of that one cursed job, his past has all come back to haunt him today hasn’t it?

“Wh-what the--!? A-Aren't you Ms. Oldbag!?” Larry stammers out, barely managing to not curse, mostly out of fear Von Karma will strike him.

Edgeworth whirls on him, “why are you so surprised!?”

Oldbag looks surprised to see him, “Ah, so you're the one they got to play the Steel Samurai. It's too bad I didn't realize that until now.”

“You are acquaintances with Larry...?” Bit stronger of a relationship than Larry would say they have but he’ll gladly let Edgeworth talk to her.

Oldbag laughs and waves her hand like she’s trying to reassure a jealous lover, “why, yes! We worked at the same company for a little while, you know. That's why it's OK, my Edgey-poo! You don't need to be jealous!”

Edgeworth makes a strangled noise and Larry does not blame him in the slightest.

Oldbag continues, “I was in the next room, you know, trying to get in some beauty sleep. But it was so noisy here that I couldn't fall asleep. So, I came over to complain! So, imagine my shock when I saw my precious Edgey-poo waiting here for me! I mean, who could've imagined that you would ever come to a show like this! I guess I've misjudged you, Edgey-poo!”

Von Karma and Larry both shift closer to Edgeworth as though he might need them for support. Von Karma pulls on her coiled whip and asked slowly, “you ‘misjudged’ him...?”

“I thought he was trying to avoid me, you know!” She laughs but Larry can see by Edgeworth’s face that was exactly what he was doing. “But it looks like the winds have shifted and he's now willing to be chased after! I'm simply overwhelmed! Don't you worry, Edgey-poo! I'd chase you for forever! To the ends of the Earth!”

Von Karma looks ready to jump in front of her brother and buy him time to run but instead says, “Isn't that just peachy?”

Oldbag explains that she used to work for the studio, and they’d called her last minute as understudy for Mindy. That certainly did explain why “Mindy” had missed so many cues and fumbled in so many places. Larry had done his best to cover for his co-star when he’d needed to. Which he’d had.

“How did you get the role,” Edgeworth asks Larry absently as they watch her hand the paper proving it to Von Karma.

“Guy they wanted for the role got a bigger acting offer. Some movie that’s gonna have John Marsh in it or something.” Edgeworth nods and Larry adds, "I also thought I was applying for the crew."

"That... does make more sense."

"Yeah, I'm good with my hands and arts and building stuff, so I figured stage and tech couldn't be that hard, helped once with one of Nick's things in college but I guess I clicked the wrong link or something 'cause I got called in for an audition."

Edgeworth’s soft laugh is fond, “that does seem your kind of luck.”

Larry grins at him and shrugs, a feeling of warmth uncurling in his chest. If he wasn’t accused of murder this would be downright heartwarming.

The sound of a dog barking makes them start, Larry turns his head, since when did police departments use Shibas?

The Agent immediately begins to praise him, Larry settles next to Edgeworth to watch the unfold. After a moment he leans over and asks, “what his name anyway? The guy who like tried to arrest me.”

“Agent Lang, he’s with Interpol.” Edgeworth replies and Larry tries to suppress a shudder at just how much trouble he’s gotten himself into.

Larry watches Edgeworth debate and reason exactly how Larry isn’t the killer and connect various pieces of evidence with a speed that Larry has to admire. “You’re a real Sherlock Holmes Edgy,” he comments with a grin as he watches Edgeworth display his wit.

Agent Lang huffs and curls his lip in a smirk and Larry’s eyes widen, was this guy an actual werewolf why were his teeth like that?!?

He jerks back as Agent Lang speaks, “well done Mr. Prosecutor.” He glances between the two of them, “although, I still find it a bit unbelievable that the two of you are friends.”

Edgeworth and Larry are silent, they’ve proved how well they know each other, if that’s not enough for him Larry doesn’t know what will be. Especially if he’s gonna be like this about it.

Lang’s eyes glint with a bit of excitement, “but the suspicion on that guy over there-” head jerk at Larry, “isn't completely resolved yet, so don't get any funny ideas about running off, OK?” This time he smirks at Larry and he steps back.

“Uh Edgy, what does Wolfman mean when he says I’m not off the hook?” He thinks Lang twitches at the Wolfman name. He knows he does, it slipped out by accident, but Agent Lang is like WolfDragon’s evil twin or something.

Edgeworth sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose, “he means the murder weapon. Larry, did you forget? There are two layers of suspicion hanging over your head.”

Lang smirks like the wolf who has caught the first scent of blood, “That's exactly what I mean. We can't only rely on the words of the suspect, after all. We may have figured out where he was and what he was doing all night… but the blood-stained Samurai Sword that was left at the crime scene- As long as there is no satisfactory explanation for that then this wolf will refuse to ease up on his bite!”

Larry thinks he snapped his teeth at the end of his sentence, “Jesus, Edgy, He looks like he's seriously about to take a bite out of me!”

Edgeworth glares at Lang, “he probably will.” He draws himself up and steps up to debate, Larry’s beginning to realize that with his luck it’s a damn good thing his two childhood friends became lawyers.

He chimes in when he can, confirming that the spear and the sword are made of the same stuff and bend easily, he’s pretty sure not even Lang could kill a man with one. It would be rather like killing a man with a carboard tube.

And then Franziska and Edgeworth finally get to what has been lingering underneath the surface of their exchanges.

Her father.

Larry hates that man more than he could ever put into words. He remembers Greggory Edgeworth faintly, more a kind feeling, a warmth and an aching loss. He knows exactly what he did to Edgeworth though and for that he will never forgive him. He bites his words back though; this is between the siblings.

And you know it’s serious when your sibling calls you by your last name, “Ms. von Karma, as you know, unlike your father, I am not a genius prosecutor. Plus, I doubt his record of a 40-year win streak will ever be broken.” Edgeworth raises his head proudly, “but perhaps, it is for the best if it remains unbroken. For no one should've conceived of the notion to ‘convict all defendants’ in the first place!”

“Atta a boy Edgy,” Larry’s muttered praise fills the silence as Franziska stares at her brother. Her whip strikes over his armor and he yelps.

“What a foolishly foolish statement from a foolish fool who hates to lose!” Franziska steps towards her brother which is hardly intimidating in Larry’s opinion when Edgeworth is that much taller, “it's the job of a prosecutor to make sure that all defendants are found guilty in court. There is nothing more important in this world than a perfect victory!”

Edgeworth shakes his head sadly at her, “That may be your opinion, however, I don't believe that's all we are.”

Lang makes a startled noise, Larry smirks at him now, like he told WolfDragon, Edgy is the best of the prosecution, not for his record but for his beliefs.

“As a prosecutor, what I pursue is not the perfect victory, but the perfect truth. And if that means that the bridge, I must cross will crumble beneath my feet... ...then let it crumble as I walk on towards the truth!” Larry itches to write that down, or clap, or something. He just grins at Edgeworth with pride, and he catches a hint of gratitude from Edgeworth. Edgeworth has come a long way from his ‘Demon Prosecutor’ days and Larry’s so happy to see him get here.

Lang is quite a moment longer, perhaps aware of the moment they are sharing before he grins and cuts in, “you're good at keeping me entertained, Mr. Prosecutor!” He looks actually pleased, not the cocky arrogance Larry’s begun to associate with him, but it shifts back into the challenging smirk and he and Edgeworth start going again.

The verbal sparring is much louder when Larry is standing right next to everyone yelling “Hold it!” and “Objection!” and “Not so fast!” His head spins but Edgeworth proves that the murder weapon wasn’t even the sword. Or would’ve if they’d be allowed to examine it.

Larry feels a pang of guilt as Edgeworth agrees to take the responsibility for any repercussions from examining the statue, this is his fault. If he’d been more careful, if he’d been where he was supposed to be Edgeworth wouldn’t be risking everything for him.

Except that this evidence they find is literally game changing. He’s off the hook and everyone looks too busy to explain what is happening, so he heads off back to his room.

Once there he realizes that his ‘son’ is missing. Great. The last thing he needs is to get in trouble for having lost a prop. Nothing for it. He’ll just have to check everywhere that isn’t a crime scene. Actually, that might be a good idea. Keep him out of the way and out of trouble. But first he needs to get out of this costume before he sweats to death.

[nowitsdarkfic]

chapter six (the prince and the pauper)

a/n: we’re getting a long here so i’m putting this one under a read more break

“What is this, an Abbott and Costello routine?”

I take a seat at one of the tables in the front room, the one closest to the entrance of the kitchen given the room itself smells of coffee and fresh cake. Yes, birthday cake! Lars follows suit in the chair across from me: I watch him adjust the lapels of his coat prior to sitting down. Underneath his sweater and his vest, I make out the round shape of a slight belly: indeed, taking a second glimpse at his face, I notice the roundness and fullness of his cheeks and lower jaw. It’s as if he used to be quite heavy but then lost a lot of the weight.

Indeed, the chair creaks under his weight: when he straightens himself upright, I can tell the seat is a little too snug for him. I rest my hands in my lap before crossing my right leg over my left, and I feel a little better about my thick thighs.

“Thin, silky, and elegant,” he remarks, his eyes scanning over me, “no wonder why you feel cold so easily.”

“I have a big black hole inside of me, though,” I point out.

“How come it hasn’t eaten you alive?”

“I know how to keep him pleased,” I assure him, and I rub my hand up my stomach. I could use another large bowl of soup courtesy of Cindy right about now.

“Before I gained some weight, I started wearing several layers,” he says, adjusting the lapels of his overcoat again. “It also makes sense to do it because it’s so bloody cold now in the Bay Area. James and I don’t know how you do it here upstate, Joe.”

“We do it ‘til our bones break and glaze over with hoarfrost,” I answer with another gentle caress of my stomach before bringing both my hands back into my lap. Lupe and Louie’s chattering catches my ear right then. I crane my neck for a peek into the narrow kitchen to the right of me. I don’t pay attention to him or the feet underneath the table, until the soles of my shoes slip upon the hard floor. I catch myself on the arms of the chair so he has a good view of my body.

“Forgive me for staring but—” Through my tousled hair, I notice him gazing on at me as if in awe. “--I never really got a good look at you before. You’re very handsome.”

I flick my hair back out of my face in order to look at him, and I feel my face grow warm.

“Handsome?” I’m flabbergasted.

“Yeah.” He tucks the same strand of hair behind his ear such that another glimmer of his wedding band on his ring finger. That’s getting a little annoying. “Dishy, in fact. You wanna know the truth? You seriously wanna know the truth? It actually amazes me in how you haven’t had the girls chucking their brassieres and their panties at you while you were up there, standing with the mic in hand and singing your heart out. I mean, you are just--” He leans forward so I can hear him better over Lupe and Louie’s chattering.

“--have any of the girls flirted with you?” his voice is so soft that I pause for a moment to actually comprehend what he was asking me.

“Here?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes, they have. They all compliment me, and they’re nice to me, and I think Gwendolyn--the black girl--might have a thing for me but I dunno.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“Last night, while I was getting into bed, she goes ‘you’re so sexy, Joe’, and I’m like... ‘okay.’”

“Wait. What? Fucking... what?”

“She’s a stripper, Lars. A stripper. Strippers take their clothes off and are kind to you as part of their job.”

“So?” He almost looks hurt.

“So? I kind of expect that coming out of a woman like that.”

“Oh, puh-lease.” He rolls his eyes at me. “You really don’t think she doesn’t find you good-looking? I find you good-looking, man. I find you very sexy in fact. Even I am jealous of you.”

“You? Jealous of m--no.”

“It is true! You are very a sensual and lovely man, and you’re a front man on top of that. Front men always get the brunt of the action.”

“I didn’t get that much,” I point out to him.

“Alright, now you’re just fucking with me.”

“Dude, come on,” I roll my eyes at him, “alright, alright. I’ve seen you behind the kit. You’re a machine.”

“Seriously? I’m not that good, Joey. I’m not Charlie.”

“Pfff, nobody’s Charlie. Shit, Charlie isn’t even Charlie.”

“I wish I was as good as you think I am. And you’re smoldering compared to me. What have I got? I’ve got a fat round face and a belly that doesn’t know what to do with itself.”

“You have a wife, for Pete’s sake.”

“Right. A wife and I don’t know if you can see it very well, but thirty pounds around my hips, thighs, and waist. Really, it wasn’t long ago I actually had a big potbelly on me. I’m also in the silver medal position with a tug on my neck. There are moments I feel like I need to run out with this arrowhead with me.”

I’m taken aback by that. “Oh? Oh, really?”

“Yes,” he insists. “And I wouldn’t lie to you, either.”

I nibble on my bottom lip at that. “I’d think that you would,” I confess in a curt tone, “given you’re here right now, right next to me.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You still didn’t answer my questions from earlier,” I recall. “Why are you here?”

He opens his mouth to say something but the sound of Lupe’s tinkling sweet voice stops him right in his tracks.

“Well, what about her, though?”

“Who, Maya?” asks Louie.

“Yes.”

“I dunno, maybe we can take her to the hospital if she doesn’t wake up soon.”

Lars leans over closer to me. I turn my head to better face him.

“Not to be rude, but who are they talking about?” he asks me in a low voice. “Do you know?”

“Oh, this little gal named Maya upstairs,” I explain in a near whisper, “I found her last night before the snow came in and the girls here and I have been trying to figure her out and take care of her.”

“Maya?” he echoes, knitting his eyebrows together.

“Maya... dunno her last name.”

“That’s funny, I just so happen to know a girl named Maya. And I know her through my wife, of all people.”

“Really.” I raise an eyebrow at that.

“Yeah. She introduced me during a party literally right before we were married and one thing that stuck out to me about her was this weird fucking crease on her forehead.”

“How was it weird?” I think about the crease on Maya’s forehead.

“Just... the way it was positioned, like I thought it was a lobotomy scar but it wasn’t. She never told me how she got it, either, but I swear it resembled a surgical scar of sorts.”

“That’s interesting. Maya upstairs has one on her head, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s like prominent, too. When I was bringing her over here, I could see it in the dark and with rain in my eyes.”

“What shape is it?”

“Like a horizontal line, like a worry line almost. Except you can see it from a mile away.” I have an odd fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Anyways, she is from England but her parents were from Norway... but I never would’ve guessed it because she had like real long dark hair and hazel eyes.”

“Wait, back up. You’re... still talking about Maya, right?”

“Yes. Maya Sorensen. She’s a British author with a punk zine called After the Watershed. It’s quite revolutionary because she goes quite in depth and she’s rather frank in her writing. I remember the first time I read the first edition, like I thought ‘wow, this woman is really going to go places with this, like I see more people going forth to write a zine of their own—”

“Yes, but you’re—talking about Maya, right?”

“Yes, unless there is a different Maya around here.”

“I’m sure I’m the one talking about Maya here, unless the one upstairs is a horse of a different color from the one you’re talking about...” My voice trails off and I lean back in my chair with my hands resting in my lap once again. But then I lean forward and bring my face back towards him.

“Wait, wait, wait,” I start again, setting my hands on the top of the table. “Back up, back up. Let’s clear this up. We’re talking about—Maya, right?”

“Right. Maya Sorensen.” He knits his eyebrows together once again. “And—may I ask how you know her?”

“I don’t.”

“How do you know her name then?” He flutters his eyelashes at me.

“I found her lying in a storm drain last night, bound at the ankles with a rope. She told Cindy and me her name but I never learned her last...”

Lars gapes at me as his skin washes out to the color of wet paper.

“You found her—laying--in a storm drain.” He looks like he’s about ready to puke.

“Yeah, the two of us just about froze to death while I was bringing her over here last night, too. Granted, I was more concerned with her because she was more battered than me. But I still passed out when I got here.”

“Oh—” He leans back in his seat with his hands rested upon the edge of the table. He glances around the floor around us. “Ohhhhh my God. That has to be one of—are you serious?”

“As serious as the black hole inside my stomach.”

He hesitates with a lick of the lips.

“Wait a minute, are we seriously talking about the same Maya here?”

“I don’t fucking know!” I can’t help but chuckle. He licks his lips at me.

“She’s upstairs--you said?”

“Yes. I can take you to see her if you’d like.”

“But I think you’ve got something coming for you, though. I keep smelling cake and beer.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s for my birthday party later tonight.”

His face softens at the sound of that.

“It’s your birthday?”

“Yes, sir. Twenty-eight years ago today, I crawled out from my mom’s snatch and began to show the world my legs. Yet here I am, poor as a motherfuck and with no prospects left than to my own wits, sitting in a strip club about four miles from home with the fat of royalty. Nice fucking life, am I right?”

“Twenty-eight,” he repeats it, “you’re twenty-eight.”

“Yes.”

The tip of his tongue slithers out of his mouth for a moment before it rides along the edges of his teeth.

“What’s so special about that?” I ask him.

“Twenty-eight, you’re a fucking stud. Hang tight, I’m going to check this woman out and make sure we’re talking about the same person.”

He climbs to his feet and pads out of the room towards the stairwell. I watch him ascend the steps for a moment before I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn my head to see Lupe looming over me wearing a thin black sweater embedded with silvery threads.

“Yes?” I ask her with a raise of my eyebrows.

“T minus some twenty-odd minutes before Mrs. Hamilton returns with some drinks to round out this party.”

“I don’t drink anymore, though,” I point out. She shrugs, and the grin never leaves her face.

“We can give you a virgin screaming orgasm if that’s what you’d like.” The way in which she said that made the fluttery feeling inside of my stomach return with a vengeance.

“Where’s the cake, though?”

“Cakes,” she corrects me.

“Cakes? There’s more than one?”

“All for you and that other stud muffin, birthday boy.” She flashes me a wink and for a second, I believe she’s about to kiss me but she never does. Instead, she ducks back into the kitchen with a toss of her hair and another wink at me before disappearing behind the door. I hear her speaking to Louie in a hushed voice in there; I catch the sound of Lars’ footsteps upstairs, stretching further away from me as he ascends up into the loft.

She did wish me happy birthday after all.

[destiny-islanders]

You (Comrades Protag) + The Chocobros | Part II - Prompto

Part I - Gladio |

STRAP IN, FOLKS! I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS ONE. YOU AND PROMPTO ARE ABOUT TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE.

So after you eat Gladio’s I’m-Sorry-I-Gave-You-A-Concussion Cup Noodles, he gives you his phone number, just in case you figure out how to unlock your phone.

He knows that you’re a pretty big deal in Lestallum; people recognize you and know that you’re busting your ass to help keep the city safe. He asks you to keep him posted on Lestallum’s progress via Iris.

You and Iris become pretty good friends. And you take pictures of everything.

Pictures capturing the progress of construction projects around Lestallum

Pictures of your handwritten notes from your meetings with the elected leader of Lestallum, Holly, Cor, Libertus, Dave, and a handful of other key players in the power restoration efforts.

You even send him a photo of you and Iris posing in sweaters you knitted for each other by hand

Yes, you know how to knit now. When night falls, and the people of Lestallum are forced to hide within the safety of the city’s walls, they’re left restless, anxious, and with way too much time on their hands-- time to learn how to actually play a game of chess, time to learn how to play every single card game known to man, and time to hear just about everyone’s stories of loss and faint, fragile hope for a brighter future.

One day, Gladio texts Iris to let you know that a friend of his will be swinging through Lestallum soon, and that he might track you down for some combat practice.

Iris seems excited to see this friend of her brother’s. She says his name is Prompto and that you’re going to love him.

The name doesn’t ring a bell, and you have no idea what he looks like. You guess you’ll recognize him when he taps you on the shoulder and asks if it would be okay to beat you up behind the power plant.

Prompto shows up while Cid is tinkering with your favorite weapon, imbuing it with the power of that griffon feather you and your friends found yesterday. You take it from Cid and give it a few practice swings, testing out its weight, admiring its shine in the light.

Prompto: “Yikes. Hope you don’t end up hitting me with that thing lmao”

Turns out that, just like Gladio, you’ve seen this guy before. He’s another one of the prince’s royal retainers. He was a last-minute addition, with next to no formal training. But you guess he must at least have some kind of raw talent, to have survived this long as a hunter.

The extent of your former interactions with Prompto: You were collecting herbal ingredients in Duscae for a medicinal remedy that a sickly friend of yours desperately needed. You’d just about gathered everything you needed when you heard screaming from across the lake. You glanced in the direction of the noise and saw a cotoblepas charging towards two tiny figures standing way too damned close to the water.

You: “SHIT SHIT SHIT”

It’s a good thing you didn’t spare a second to think this through, because you would have realized how stupid you were being if you had. Instead of trying to warp around the lake, you decided to warp straight across it. Your intentions were noble; you wanted to help these people as quickly as you could.

But yes you fell into the water and approximately twenty-seven (27) gallons of it shot up your nose. But you chucked your weapon into the air and kept going 

You barreled into one of the people fleeing the cotoblepas and warped, putting as much distance as you could between yourselves and the beast. You put a hand on the person’s shoulder, shouted, “Stay!” and got ready to warp back for the other.

Turned out you didn’t have to bother; the other idiot could warp, too.

You: “...Prince Noctis?”

YEP! Prompto knew that you were a Glaive and was waaaaaay too intimidated by you to lie. He explained that they essentially Did It For The Vine. 

Did the key to the salvation of Eos almost get himself trampled by a cotoblepas for a photo?????

Prompto showed you the photo.

You: “Okay that’s actually pretty sick, bro”

Noctis: “Hell yeah”

You: “Oh shit my fucking weeds”

Prompto: “Your what now”

Prompto and Noctis understandably felt guilty when they realized that the herbs you had worked so hard to collect for your friend were soaked, dirtied, and ruined because you fell into the lake. They helped you collect more before you parted ways.

Prompto: “So... Gladio said you might be down for some sparring?”

You lead him to the Lestallum equivalent of the bicycle rack: the same quiet corner where Gladio had brooded in a constant state of exhaustion.

No one cleaned up the crates you broke with your body in the back of the alleyway...

Prompto: “Go easy on me, ‘kay?”

This guy is smaller and more noodly than Gladio. You hope that means you actually stand a chance this time.

Nope. Wrong. Bitch you thought. You don’t. One second you’re standing there, getting ready to fight, the next, you’re frozen in place and unable to do anything but watch as Prompto takes a selfie with your petrified body

No sooner have you regained yourself than he’s casting Starshell and inflicting you with confusion.

Where are you? What are you doing here? What day is it? Who’s President?

Why are you asking that? Lucis has a monarchy?

You literally end up putting your weapon down and sitting by a dumpster, your head spinning and your thoughts a muddled, confusing mess in your head

Prompto sits down next to you and listens to you rant and rave, riding out the status effect until it’s run its course

You, Confused: “Why do they call it instant ramen when it takes three minutes to cook”

You, Confused: “That’s not instant”

You, Confused:  “Does it hurt grass when we step on it?”

You, Confused:  “Why are bees”

Prompto: “Why are bees what?”

You, Confused: “Just. Why. Why are bees”

You, Somehow Even More Confused Than Before:  “Tissue fabric running tire folder clean”

Prompto: *Is trying so hard not to fucking laugh right now. Literally he has never seen someone react this way to the confusion status ailment* “That’s right. Let it all out.”

You finally come back to yourself and look at Prompto for what feels like the first time.

You: “Did... did I win?”

Prompto: “I’d call it a tie.”

You don’t spar again that day. You just hang out.

You will fight again a few more times! Turns out he’s not so tough once you manage to dodge his attacks and get in close.

Punch him! He bleeds!

Please don’t punch him. He bleeds. :(((((((

The score ends up being 4-3 in Prompto’s favor. You try to argue that the first fight shouldn’t count because of the Status Ailment Hell he banished you to, but Prompto won’t hear a word of it

You’ll get him next time

You think Prompto’s great! You can’t remember the last time you laughed this much. It feels good to laugh. There’s not much to laugh at in this dark day and age.

Prompto gives you his number before he leaves Lestallum. You promise you’ll text him when you remember your passcode.

That leaves Iris to once again be an intermediary between you and another Chocobro, though this one is more for fun than it is with Gladio-- since most of your communications are related to relief efforts around Lucis.

IRIS’S PHONE BECOMES A HUB FOR POST-APOCALYPTIC MEMES

It’s like a “laugh in one eye, cry in the other” situation

You guys end up texting so much that Iris can’t take it anymore. A friend of hers in Old Lestallum has an unlocked smart phone and gives it to you until you can unlock your own.

The meme-ing gloves are off now. Uh-oh.

Group chat with Gladio and Iris. Prompto names the group “Annoying the Amicitias”

Where has Prompto been all your life? You’re memesters in crime

Fast-forward seven months. Iris bursts into your tent in the middle of the night in tears.

Iris: “I just got a call from Gladio. Prompto went with some hunters on a supply run. They haven’t come back. They’re all missing.”

You’re getting out of bed and reaching for your jacket in an instant

You: “I’m going.”

Iris: “I’m coming with you.”

Gladio promises he’ll meet you in Hammerhead, and that Iggy’s coming, too.

You have no idea who Iggy is, but Iris looks happy about that news, so you will be, too

You don’t tell Gladio that Iris is coming with you.

He’s going to be PISSED.

AT YOU.

WHY DO YOU GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO MAKE THIS GUY ANGRY 

HAVE YOU NO FEAR

Continued under the cut!

You and Iris meet Cindy in her garage, and she explains what had happened. She and Prompto had been talking about those special headlights that can be used to keep daemons away. If the possibility even existed that there were more in Insomnia, it had to be looked into. With the nights growing longer, it would soon become suicide to drive between safe havens without them.

A search party had been sent to Insomnia a week after the original group had left. They’d made it to the city, but they couldn’t find Prompto or the hunters anywhere-- alive, or dead.

You: “What if they never made it to Insomnia?”

Gladio: “Or they made it to Insomnia, but were on their way back when they were attacked?”

Cindy: “Will be a right mess if either one o’ them is the case. They could be anywhere between here ‘n there.”

Gladio: “And splitting up to cover more ground is out of the question.”

Iris: “So what do we do, Gladdy?"

Ignis: “We travel in pairs.”

You witness the True Power of the Amicitia Family when Iris and Gladio get into a spectacular argument about whether or not Iris should join the rescue mission.

You and Cindy kind of watch them bicker in awe. The way that I imagine one of the humans in Jurassic Park watched in awe as the dinosaurs fucking killed each other.

Gladio finally relents. BUT. Iris has to travel with him. Ignis, still trying to adjust to life as a blind man, will travel with them, as well.

Gladio hadn’t even tried to tell Ignis to stay behind for this one.

Ignis devises a plan for the rescue mission.

You all create five search parties and plan out the routes each of you will take with a map. At this point, there are only a few hours of light each day, so the plan is to drive out together in two trucks, fan out and search the area, and then return to the car and drive back as it starts to get dark.

The keys are left in the glove compartment of the unlocked car. Six forbid that the person with the keys gets killed or goes missing, leaving the survivors stranded without an escape vehicle

You get paired up with a hunter named Kravyn. You’d worked with him on a few hunts before. He’s as capable a hunter as anyone.

You both get out of the truck and head northeast. It already seems like the sky is growing darker. Are the days even shorter now? Will the time come when the sun doesn’t rise at all?

Iris and Prompto seem convinced that Prince Noctis will return before that happens. 

You do your best to not lose hope that he’ll return at all.

The clock is ticking. The timer you’d set on your phone shows that you only have fifteen minutes before you need to head back.

That’s when you see blood in the grass.

You follow it.

The trail leads you through the grass and into the woods. It’s so dense... you can barely fit between the trees. It’s so dark beneath the canopy of leaves overhead that you have to take out your flashlight so that you can see the blood splattered around.

The blood leads you to a corpse. It’s not Prompto’s.

You take the dog tags. They belonged to a woman named Janda.

Kravyn: “Fuck. Fuck. We gotta head back. This is way too dangerous.”

You: “I’m not leaving. We still have... seven minutes. The rest of them could still be alive somewhere.”

To Kravyn’s credit, he doesn’t abandon you. You can tell he’s terrified, but he stays by your side and helps you search.

The alarm on your phone starts to beep right when you see a boot jutting out from behind the trunk of a tree.

It’s Prompto. You’ve found him.

He’s covered in blood. His eyes are closed. He’s not moving.

You: “SHIT SHIT SHIT”

You snatch a hi-elixir from your back and break it over his head, since he’s covered in so much blood that you can’t even tell where he’s injured and you don’t want to waste time poking around trying to find out where.

He lets out a soft moan when you give him the curative. He’s still alive! Thank the Six!

Why didn’t you check for a pulse first? You could have wasted a precious curative on a corpse!!!

You: “You’re hurt, Prompto. Tell me where.”

Prompto: “Everywhere.”

You: “YOU ARE BEING VERY UNHELPFUL RIGHT NOW.”

You end up giving him two more elixirs. He’s still in a pretty bad way, but his breathing is significantly less labored, and his pulse feels strong enough to repair some of your confidence about his chances of survival.

Kravyn: “This is great that we found Prompto and everything, but we really should be heading back.”

You, Reaching to Pick Him Up: “Right. Up we go, Prompto.”

Prompto: “I can walk.”

He moves his right leg a little bit and stops immediately.

Prompto: “I lied.”

You: “As I was fucking saying. Up we go, Prompto.

Prompto: “Omg I’m so heavy you’ll never make it.”

Is Prompto heavy, or are you just really strong? Both? Neither? Who cares? What matters is that you’re able to pick him up and carry him without too much trouble.

You can pinpoint the exact moment he passes out because he stops apologizing for how heavy he is and for making everyone worry and for the fact that you risked your life to find him

You and Kravyn make it back to the truck. Everyone else has already returned, but the plan had been to wait an hour before heading back to Hammerhead, so they had all been waiting for you.

Iris starts crying again when she sees Prompto. Even Gladio gets really quiet and dewey-eyed. Ignis rests his hand on Prompto’s chest, as if to feel his heartbeat.

Ignis: “Bloody idiot. Thank the Six...”

Prompto is the only missing hunter the rescue team was able to find.

Iris found a dog tag. Including the dog tag you’d found, that leaves two of the missing hunters still unaccounted for.

You all agree that you’ll head back out again tomorrow to search further north.

You take Prompto back to Hammerhead to get proper medical treatment. He’s going to be okay.

[survivorgalaxysedge]

Episode 4 | Space Cadet Blasting Off Again - Jessie

We swapped. And what a wild swap it is. I want from the Andro Tribe to the Circi Tribe. And so did Jonathan, Ari and Zoe. Four of us stuck together on a tribe of 5. We also have Ali with us. I’m worried Ali has an idol so I just don’t want us to lose at all. Let’s keep the good vibes flowing. 

AND NOW IM AM ON CALL WITH JONATHAN AND HE'S TELLING ME ABOUT THE EXACT PLACE I JUST WENT AND THE EXACT RIDDLE I DID LIKE "SOMEONE ALREADY GOT THERE" HELLLLPPPPPPPPP honestly this is what he gets for going off script! i had the room search under control and he was supposed to be in the hallway so it's not my fault he found my mess!

I encountered an alien in the idol search! I sang them a song and viola! I have a special power. I have the ability to kidnap someone from another tribe, for a full round of the game. They compete in the challenge with us. They'll attend tribal council if we go, but can't be voted out. Kind of a neat little power. It has to be used before merge. So I guess we'll see what happens. If we started with 18, swapped at 15, I imagine that merge will be at 11. I've got a few tribals to figure out when/how to use this power, if I even decide to use it at all. Man, I am loaded. Hidden Immunity Idol and this now. On a DISGUSTING note, someone used a power on me to destroy 10 of my fuel. Thankfully it was only 10 and not a whole lot of it. 

I’m actually so annoyed Why the heck would you say “we should throw the challenge .” Like legit why. This is my favourite challenge and I’m not throwing . I get that Jacob hasn’t said a lot but seriously throwing a challenge to get rid of someone who seems kinda new is so stupid . I’m actually so annoyed rn so I’m typing my thoughts so I don’t yell at the person who said they don’t wanna take the time and edit because we are losing anyways . You know what maybe if you didn’t have such a negative attitude about the situation we could turn out a badass video . Did you ever think maybe the other tribe would be down right awful and we could pull out a win ? I’m so tired of my tribe constantly losing . Anyways updated thoughts or whatever because we had a tribe swap Jacob: said creative challenges aren’t his thing . Trying to talk to him more Cindi : we haven’t spoke I don’t think she likes me from our last game though which is fine I guess? Nathan : Original tribe loyalty I guess ? Jay: Jays pretty cool. Okay that’s it I just needed to vent so that’s why it’s confessional form I also still have my idol so flex I guess ? Idk that’s sounds kinda cringe This is Jessie the space cadet blasting off again 

I AM SWAP FUCKED

I SWEAR TO GOD MY GAME ENDS WITH THESE HOES

Keegan is going home

Fourth straight immunity win! This game is wild. I’ve never done so well before! And now I’ve got another 6 fuel, which is a total of 16 fuel from reward wins. With my hidden immunity idol, and my steal a player advantage, I feel unstoppable. But, things can change at a moments notice so I’m not going to stand on my high horse, I’m going to remain realistic. I don’t have any alliance chats, the only person who has straight up said they want to work with me is Jay who is now going to tribal. It’s almost a bad thing not attending tribal so many times, because I have nothing to test or prove loyalty. Who knows what will happen moving forward. 

https://youtu.be/dm7Kta2n7hs

Well we just lost the challenge. Not that I'm surprised, we pretty much lost it when we didn't communicate for a whole day. I tried to do my part and get people discussing but once it was clear this wasn't gonna be a win for us, I just used it for strategy. I wanted to do my best despite the circumstances to prove that this tribe needs me since I'm active and good in challenges. And I think it worked! The judges shouted me out twice for my part in the video (even tho it kinda sucked, but I guess my white boy dancing was good in comparison). But anyways, I do like this tribe and I'm sad we lost, but I have a little theory on why some people didn't try so hard. It was discussed before the challenge even came out that we wanted Jacob out. How this happened was Nathan approached me as soon as we got onto the new tribe and we called and had a good talk on how we felt about the game. Turns out that the queen herself, Jessie Flynn, advocated for me as an ally to Nathan before we even swapped. And us both, and Jessie, all felt good about Cindi too. And ever since then, Nathan's been in my DMs talking about voting for Jacob. So overall I think I landed myself in a pretty sweet spot on this disaster of a tribe and hopefully we can get our shit together for the next challenge, cause things won't be so clear cut next time.

https://youtu.be/dm7Kta2n7hs

WE WON. THANK *GOD.* after flying across the country yesterday and dealing with several minor life crises, i literally spent the ENTIRETY of today working on that video - meaning from when i woke up at 10 to fifteen minutes before when it was due - and also spent seven whole dollars at the dollar tree for props & costumes soooooo if we had not won i would've been quite embarrassed. i was nervous about the editing part, as i've not ever actually put together a music video challenge, just weird silly videos like me as zac efron.... but it turned out okay! i'm not 100% satisfied with my work (i wanted to put more transition effects & it needed more variety / staging to make it less repetitive) but hey it was a thousand miles above the other teams' submissions so i will take it!!! and i never have to listen to space jam again!! anyway, i guess this means another boring day around camp. winning reward got me two more adventure missions, which i used to mostly complete the outside portion of the quest and jonathan is i think gonna finish it off for us tonight. i am hoping/assuming he'll get whatever is there since it's been literally only 48 hours since this started and the door keypad had five zillion combos, and that'd mean that's the last thing in this adventure probably? oh wait nvm we still have a shit ton of stuff to check in the hallway i should do that next. but yeah so that'll be good and i hope it is an advantage or a disadvantage that he won't play on me LOL. if i wake up and all my fuel is destroyed.... i know where you've been jonny! not much else to report right now. it sounds like ali's doing a good job of getting himself in the good graces of zoe and jonathan, which is the most ideal scenario for me so we can say bye-bye keegan. i was a bit worried that if we lost this challenge i wouldn't have a plausible reason to argue to jonathan for keeping ali - or actually, more likely, i think he would have wanted to vote zoe? she hasn't been around as much and he did express concern on saturday about whether she's doing okay. luckily though, this W has bought me a few more days to work on getting the people i like to like each other.

https://youtu.be/F4_Sylzyxyw

UGH UGH UGH I GOT TRIBE FUCKEDDDDDDD IM WITH MJ WHO I JUST SLASHED THE VOTE OF AND LIED TO AND THE OTHER 3 ARE FROM THE SAME TRIBE. GOD DAMN IT. UGH but on the other hand we won immunity and it'll give me time to get to know my other tribe mates. I just hope this isnt a "tribe strong" battle in this game. I hope everyone are free agents

woo! ari and i are together in the swap as well as keegan and jonathan, and ali wound up with us as well on the new circi tribe. we won the music video challenge so the streak continues. i’m very tired!

so the tribe swap went pretty much the best it possibly could, as i got swapped majority with the two members of my tribe i talked to the most. we won immunity so i'm chilling for another week. unfortunately, mj and silver seem to have no interest in talking to me. both of them left me on read after i initiated conversation. so. sits.

So despite the easy seeming vote, I'm still gonna be nervous until the votes get read. These players are no joke, especially knowing that Alex was completely blindsided by Nathan and Jessie. I'm staying positive because I think it's like, a 90% chance I'm in the clear, but you really don't know until you know LOL. I'm just trying to set up my position on this tribe and for the future. I've gone to Cindi, Jessie, and Nathan individually and reassured them that I'm with them for the long haul. And for now I mean it, but if any of them get too dangerous then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry not sorry~ looking specifically at you Nathan 👀

nothing rlly to say tbh happy we swapped!!!!! and happy we won!!!!!! happy to be here with jules. havent really talked much since swapping honestly but i think i'd like to work with jules and asya and somehow get silver tf up outta here when we get the chance!!!!!

https://youtu.be/kt66vebpU4k

https://youtu.be/t5x52CJdhjI

TRIBAL AGAIN. I'm so nervous. I'm the only one from Circi so that's an easy swap screwed if you ask me. But I hope I'm ok. I think I've made a good bond with Jay Nathan and jessie and they all say we're voting for Cindi so fingers crossed it's not all an elaborate ruse on me

First tribal should be a unanimous vote. I told Nathan if he voted me out I'd block him and our 50 day snap streak would be toast and, like, tbh I think that would crush him. Jay and I want to work together. The only one who might've been sketched out is Jessie but she doesn't have the numbers. It feels insane to be this not paranoid before tribal when I know Jacob is pushing my name...but also I literally don't think that he could get me out?? Like, Nathan and I were/are a dynamic duo so I do not know how he would flip. Jay flipping makes zero sense. The ONLY people this would benefit or be a neutral for is Jessie and Jacob. The only way I go is if Nathan and Jay are two of the dumbest players on the planet.

Tribals in an hour we lost Big sad energy I guess my hearts really going to supernova 

[buffy-the-assbutt-slayer]

HELLO EVERYONE I NEED TO RANT IN THE VOID

So I live with my boyfriend and his parents most of the time. I also have moderate OCD (diagnosed by my previous psychologist). So for me, everything has to be neat and tidy and put away at the end of the night with nothing hanging over the edge of the surface it's sitting on. I know that obviously that's not gonna happen all the time perfectly so I'm usually pretty good at focusing my mind elsewhere until I'm distracted. But holy shit recently my boyfriend's mom has been so fucking horrendous with being tidy and like, a million other things too. So I need to rant about all the bullshit that makes me want to resort to violence. (and yes my boyfriend and I have tried talking to her calmly to try and change her behavior hundreds of times but instead of actually listening to us she just goes "oh well I am the way I am. At least I'm a good mom" and ends the conversation). So without further adieu, here's a list of all the fucking things that drive me insane about Parker's mom. (there's a lot of classic Baby Boomer™️ behavior in here too which is fucking wonderful).

- clearly no one ever fucking taught her to clean up after herself because she leaves dishes and half done baking and projects all over the fucking house

- she never pushes her chair in when she's done at any table or at the kitchen island

- she wears fucking shoes in the house like it's the United States of No Manners (she was born in Iowa tho so that's probably the fuckin reason)

- she thinks dishwashers work like they do in the commercials and you can throw a whole plate of spaghetti in and it'll come out sparkling

- and because she thinks this she never uses the dishwasher and proceeds to handwash everything but never put it away when it's dry so there's CONSTANTLY like 7 dishes and a drying rack and 4 towels on the counter

- she's fucking obsessed with covering every surface of the house in fabric. There's always 6 placemats on the island that don't match and aren't centered or the right way up or anything they're all just piled on top of each other. The couch always has 6 blankets on it because her fucking dog "like to burrow" even though every time we put the ONE blanket that's Pepsi's favorite to burrow in on the ottoman, folded nicely, Cindy just moves it to the fucking couch and unfolds it so it's an ugly fucking mess. There's at least 4 dish towels on the oven handle at all times.

- Before we donated a bunch of towels to the SPCA THERE WERE OVER 40 TOWELS IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE because she uses a towel once and then washes it.

- I know what you're thinking, "what's the big deal if she likes to have a blankets on the couch with her?" The answer is, she thinks she's the only person in the house who uses the living room so she leaves it an ugly fucking mess 24/7 instead of CLEANING UP AFTER HERSELF

- Since the shower in the master bathroom has bad water pressure, she uses the shower in our bathroom. Fine, no problem. Except, there are 14 FUCKING BOTTLES OF BATHROOM PRODUCT IN THERE AND ONLY 5 OF THEM BELONG TO MY BOYFRIEND AND I. SHE HAS 5 FUCKING BOTTLES OF SHAMPOO/CONDITIONER IN HERE AND THERE'S NO FUCKING SURFACE AREA TO PUT OUR STUFF

- She fucking thinks canned goods that expired a year ago are totally fine but will throw out Chinese food from 2 days ago because it's "bad"

- SHE HAS THE CHURCH PAYING HER RENT BECAUSE HER AND HER HUSBAND CAN'T AFFORD IT ON JUST THEIR PENSIONS ALONE BUT CONSTANTLY WASTES SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY AND FOOD AND RANDOM SHIT FOR MY BOYFRIEND AND I EVEN THOUGH WE ASK HER NOT TO EVERY SINGLE TIME.

- She claims she's not a hoarder but she has 37 jackets, 45 mugs, and when we were going through the 40+ towels before to donate the shitty ones no one likes to the SPCA she kept grabbing them out of the donate pile to smuggle into her bathroom

- She is the fucking reason for global warming at this point because she leaves every light on in the house and when she leaves, she leaves the lights, and the TV, and the stereo on for her fucking Daschunds. She also leaves the shitty old radio in her bathroom on 24/7 even though she only spends 8 hours a day in her room and literally all that time is sleeping.

- She has no fucking clue what recycling or compost is. Everything is garbage to her. The garbage bag in her bathroom (that's right. Garbage bag. She hangs the good IKEA bags we use for bottle depot recycling from the doorknob in her bathroom instead of using a fucking garbage can) at one point had a towel (that was perfectly fine there was literally no reason to throw it out), a water bottle, practically a book's worth of paper and cardboard, and random shit like a fucking lightbulb in it

- She thinks that if an employee at a store makes a mistake ONCE then they're a "fucking idiot" and the whole store is full of people who (to not use slanderous terms) aren't mentally capable of putting their shoes on. And holy shit if that employee isn't white then it's nonstop racism for an hour

- My boyfriend and I had to yell at her for being racist at the post office because she called the previous employee who accidentally printed her moneygram check upside down a "fucking idiot ch*nk". Instead of listening to us and going "huh racism is wrong" she just laughed like it was a fucking joke.

- anytime you try and talk to her she just interrupts you after literally 3 words in your sentence to go "Oh! Yep! Uh huh! I know exactly what you mean!" incredibly obnoxiously.

- if you say something to her and she doesn't hear what you said, instead of just saying "pardon?" or anything at all she just ignores you and says "yeah" like she's dismissing a child talking about their imaginary friend

- She threw out one of the fucking coils for the stovetop because she takes them out to clean them every day and didn't plug it back in properly so it wasn't heating up. It didn't work literally once because it wasn't connected to the stove properly and she just fucking chucked it in the garbage can.

- She constantly accepts food donations from the church (which are all fucking cheap disgusting Compliments brand food). So much so, that we have wasted a whole fucking room on the main floor so they can store all the shit that doesn't fit in the pantry. AND THE WORST PART IS SHE DOESN'T FUCKING EAT ANY OF IT. IT JUST GOES BAD. AND THEN SHE SPENDS MONEY BUYING THE NAME BRAND VERSION OF THAT FOOD TO EAT.

- SHE LEAVES THE FUCKING BACK DOOR OPEN YEAR ROUND WITH NO SCREEN DOOR OR ANYTHING SO ALL THE HEAT GOES OUT THE DOOR AND THE FUCKING FURNACE IS JUST RUNNING CONSTANTLY WASTING MONEY AND ENERGY AND KILLING THE PLANET IN THE WINTER. AND IN THE SUMMER, LITERALLY HUNDREDS OF BUGS FLY INTO THE HOUSE.

- any time we have tried to help her be more organized or help her keep track of her things because she has a fucking atrocious memory, she just completely ignores our help and continues to do things her way. BUT HER WAY DOESN'T WORK. IT'S FUCKING LAZY AND UGLY AND MESSY AND SHE LOSES HER SHIT ALL THE TIME

- SHE FUCKING WASHES THE FLOORS WITH BLEACH WHICH IS FUCKING INCREDIBLY UNNECESSARY EVERY FUCKING WEEK BUT HAS NOT CLEANED OUT A SINGLE CUPBOARD IN 9 YEARS AND LEAVES GARBAGE AND FUCKING AWFUL MESSES ALL OVER THE HOUSE

- every single thing you could think of that would be in this house in a bottle has at least 3 other bottles somewhere completely fucking random and every single one of them is open and half used. There are (AND I'M NOT EVEN JOKING) 12 FUCKING BOTTLES OF BLEACH IN THE HOUSE THAT ARE OPEN AND USED IN VARIOUS AMOUNTS.

- EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Parker has tried to help her life by getting her something to replace an old way of doing things (like a digital cooking timer, or a spray bottle of Shout for laundry stains instead of scrubbing the fucking shirt with a bar of soap). She immediately hates it and doesn't even try to listen or learn and immediately shouts "I hate technology!"

- LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TIME PARKER AND I HAVE TRIED TO DECLUTTER THE HOUSE SHE TELLS US TO KEEP SO MUCH RANDOM SHIT BECAUSE SHE'S "gonna use it" even though she hasn't seen the thing we're getting rid of in over 5 years. Or because it's "expensive" and they bought it when they were rich. JUST BECAUSE IT WAS EXPENSIVE AND FANCY 12 YEARS AGO DOESN'T MEAN ANYONE GIVES A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT IT NOW. AND THEN 6 MONTHS LATER WHEN WE ORGANIZE A SYSTEM IN A CLOSET OR CABINET WITH ALL THE SHIT SHE TOLD US TO KEEP 6 MONTHS AGO SHE RIFLES THROUGH IT AND GOES "oh no. I never said to keep this. You can get rid of all this."

There's a MILLION more reasons but I am so stressed right now I can't even fucking think straight. So yeah, have a rant. I don't blame you if you didn't read this.

[samtheflamingomain]

royal

So as I already talked about, my granddad died recently.

About 3 days ago, my friend messaged me telling me my mother’s father passed away.

Being a normal person, I assumed this meant RECENTLY.

But, when I Googled his obituary, I saw that he died NEW YEARS DAY.

My parents have only one means of contacting me: through my highschool friend Cindy. And she contacted me as soon as she was told the news.

I have 2 theories. First, they waited on purpose so I wouldn’t show up at the funeral, as if I would anyway. They want nothing to do with me. In fact, my own mother wouldn’t let me pack my things when she kicked me out because she didn’t want me in her house “because she was afraid I wouldn’t leave”. Bitch, I was there to PACK MY SHIT AND ABANDON YOU FOREVER. My mom is one SERIOUSLY stupid cunt. Like I actually don’t think her IQ is triple-digits.

Anyway, theory 2 is actually worse, and it’s one I didn’t even think of till now. 

They forgot about me.

This actually doesn’t make a lot of sense, because, as one of only 3 grandchildren, I was actually mentioned as a survivor in his obituary. 

But why else would they delay this information by over a month? Simply, I was an afterthought.

Maybe one day, maybe around my birthday (mid-January) they remembered, oh yeah, we never told Sam his granddad died.

Now, I mourned for exactly one day. I’ve quickly come to realize he wasn’t that great of a person and he was living on borrowed time, health-wise. That, and I hadn’t seen him in nearly 8 years anyway.

I was kicked out February 10th, 2017. Exactly one year later, Cindy messaged me to say that my parents asked her IF I WAS STILL ALIVE. That REALLY fucked me up.

Then about 3 months ago, walking home from a plaza I live next to, I saw my parents dining at a Mexican restaurant there. 

Then, this. 

When I was born, I had 6 grandparents (2 divorced and both remarried). Now I’m down to 4. One I couldn’t possibly care less about, as she refused to believe me that her own son had cheated on my mom. One to whom I am indifferent, and one which I would miss very, very deeply upon hearing of his death.

See, when Cindy called me, she told me my grandfather died. I had 2. I almost screamed, “OH MY GOD, WHICH ONE?”

And though it’s an awful thing to say, I was relieved when she told me it was my mother’s father and not my father’s step-father. 

It’s made me realize that if I don’t see or speak to him again before he dies, I’ll regret t for the rest of my life. 

But Royal, dad’s step-father, had Alzheimer’s. And it was 2 years ago that I last spoke to him. 

Chances are good he wouldn’t even know who I am, especially given the fact that he’s never really seen me with a beard and a lowered voice. He called me his granddaughter until the very end. (I’m a trans man who came out literally 8 years ago, but he was always in denial).

But he’s still the only family member who cared, who believed me, who felt bad for what I was going through. And that’s not nothing. 

So if there’s even a chance that he’ll recognize me, I have to try. I owe it to him.

Stay Greater, Flamingos.