#literally don't be mean to people who have the same interests as you???
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hwnglx · 2 days ago
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dating enhypen hyung line pro's & con's
based on tarot. i don't know these idols personally. energies are always changing. everything i state is for entertainment purposes only, alleged and NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!
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heeseung
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pro's
will make you the brightest star of his life -> i can just see his life circling around pleasing you
your existence will just matter to you a lot
he's an extremely perfectionistic guy so he'll rarely feel satisfied and therefore put consistent effort into making sure he's being the best boyfriend he can be for you
he literally wouldn't live up to his own expectations towards himself and disappoint himself if he found himself being unfaithful or doing you wrong
wants to make his partners feel secure when they're with him, like he's their comfort person and safe space
sees his lovers as someone he can learn from -> wants to grow, improve and transform into his best self through dating his partners, as well as also become a source of support and help for them himself
almost like bonding through their wounds, perhaps even sharing similar past experiences so they can offer a sense of mending and healing to each other
i really don't see much of an ego here, in fact he's almost too overly modest and humble
heeseung is the type of boyfriend will dim his own light if it means you will shine, honestly
i thought of a line from stray kids' song “i am you” where changbin says “i can become darkness if it means you will become brighter” (fun fact they're both virgo venus')
has a very calming and soothing type of energy and presence in his romantic relationships
i just keep seeing him sit there with his soft gaze strictly focused on his partner's eyes all the time, gently stroking their hand and quietly humming “mhm”s while attentively listening to them talk and take in every word
very interested and curious in getting to know his partners in a detailed and thorough manner
will probably remember most things about you too, even the more trivial and simple things like.. the perfume you wore on the day you met, just things you probably wouldn't expect for him to remember
con's
his perfectionism, unrealistic standards and amplified romanticism can easily set himself up for disappointment, not only towards himself but also in regards to his lovers and his relationships
he tends to have this idealized view of love and approach his romantic connections with such high expectations that things not living up to that (which often is inevitable since relationships can't be perfect all the time) can quickly dishearten him
i also see him being contradictory in a way where he does want to grow and learn through the connection but at the same time, he can struggle with criticism and negativity
might not want to hear out your advice at times because to heeseung, it can feel like you rubbing his mistakes into his face, which he doesn't enjoy and can get afraid of
he's just really worried about messing things up
can get obsessive and overly invested in the relationship
i just see him being this lover who can suffocate his partners to a degree because he's so eager to make sure they're content and please them all the time
he reminds me of this guy i dated who had similar placements and he kept being so immensely alert and attentive to all my needs that it just felt.. overly smothering at some point (i know some people might like this though, depends on your character)
no lie, heeseung's and jungkook's energies are strikingly similar in a few ways. the idealization of romance, overthinking, immensely high standards causing quicker disappointment, issues with handling criticism due to their perfectionistic tendencies. they could relate on some levels.
heeseung seems like a good guy; i truly see his energy as one of the best in enhypen. though this could be subjective. his intentions read as pure, and coming from a selfless place.
jay
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pro's
has this pleasant energy to him where being with jay feels very comfortable, cozy, warm and relaxing
a boyfriend who loves spending the more quiet and intimate times together with his partner
will love displaying this source of calm and rest for them
i see him really enjoying to cuddle under the sheets, in front of the fireplace, with lit candles, wine, soothing music, softly holding you in his arm
a very sensual and indulgent lover too, he just loves making his partners feel good in every sense of the word and wants to heighten their enjoyment
physical touch & quality time are his likely love languages
quite good at figuring out your personal boundaries and remaining respectful and mindful of not crossing them
he's the type to hold himself back in the beginning stages and stay polite but once he's got a good understanding of how deep he can push your buttons, he'll love to initiate some playful debates and arguments
dating jay can feel like you're dating your best friend
he brings a lot of happiness and laughter into the lives of his significant others
a lot of playful bickering and fun times
i just saw this scene of him strolling through the furniture store with his lover and them fighting over which colour plates they should buy for their new house lmao
another insight i constantly get for him without fail; this man genuinely loves the idea of marriage
though i don't see him being ready for it at all at this point in time, jay does enjoy the thought of a more traditional relationship and domestic life
extremely protective over his lover and their relationship
will always defend you and your name fiercely
or e.g. protectively get you to walk on the other side of him, if there's a busy road next to you
quite territorial too, jay wants his lovers to himself and is ready to fight and glare off anyone trying to access them
just heard “nothing's gonna hurt you baby, as long as you'll be with me, you'll be just fine” (song by cas)
con's
mainly focused on himself; including his own dreams, desires and wishes, especially in terms of his career, his work and his money -> i don't see him having much room for anyone else right now
might feel like letting another person into his life in a more serious and committed manner could cause an unwanted interference rather than an enrichment
i truly don't see him enjoying the thought of compromosing or being restricted by anyone right now
tbh, the energy is pretty selfish, and more surface-level here.. i currently don't see jay getting into relationships for true love, but moreso for what they can do for him
and also for what the relationship looks like; on the outside, as well as on paper
very practically minded in that sense, i am not getting an actual emotional attachment to his partners for him
definitely has his workaholic tendencies; might put himself and his career above the relationship with his significant others if he doesn't see the two aligning well
i also see jay easily getting caught up in materialism and putting too much value on superficial things like money, possessions, status, etc.
he can get a little stingy if he feels unappreciated, or the connection is too onesided (like he's constantly the one buying the gifts, preparing everything and his partner doesn't bother to do their part)
immensely stubborn and “my way or the highway”
can be quite rigid and inflexible, as well as reluctant to give in, or adapt and adjust himself to anyone
tbh, the energy was interestingly different compared to what i got from him before. though obviously, people and their preferences, habits, etc. change all the time through various experiences. which is the case especially for enhypen, since they're so young and still in the midst of maturing and developing. this non-committal “i'll do whatever i want” energy strikes me as more of a stage or phase for jay as of right now. might change within a few months, who knows.
jake
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pro's
immensely flirty, romantic and charming boyfriend
naturally brings a lot of butterflies and excitement into the lives of his partners in that way
i just see him being a hugely smooth talker, making his partners blush by flattering them all the time
almost in this love-bombing way, where some people might (playfully) tell him to shut up at some point while blushing embarrassedly and he'd love that sight
comes alive in romance; loves everything it entails
being in a harmonious relationship is something he desires a lot, so there's this grateful and proud feeling of “you're literally making my dreams come true”
would maybe even tell you you're his dream
emphasis on him being immensely sweet and loving with his words, there's definitely a poetic side to him too
will not only find his home in you, but become your home (offer you a sense of warmth, familiarity and belonging)
very calming and soothing listener
everytime i read for him, spirit tells me there's something about his voice and the way he looks at you, that just has the potential to calm you down immensely
jake is someone who can go through a lot of inner turmoil himself, so he can often find himself wanting to comfort the people he's close to, especially his lovers
a lover who's very.. “don't keep it all in, talk to me, i will listen, and i will try my best to help”
he just genuinely wants to make you feel cared about
also very witty and funny though, i see him provoking and poking his lovers a lot just to get a reaction out of them
a lot of sarcasm mixed into his teasing and humor in a way that just riles you up; jake will love seeing you annoyed and find it very amusing
i do see him trying to make it up to his partners too though, like giving them a kiss and apologizing (he's a very playful push and pull type of boyfriend)
con's
likely to not be very reliable, he can often be more talk than action, and not always stick to what he preaches
can be very moody, unpredictable and overly sensitive
does want a relationship that goes deeper (i can sense jake literally craving it since he can feel empty very often) but can opt to run away as soon as he feels like it does, especially because the intimacy can scare him off
vulnerability can make him uncomfortable -> to jake, it can feel like someone has insight into his true soul and sees him for everything that he is, including the flaws and blemishes he himself deems as unlovable
easily sees his wounds, pain and insecurities as something people would judge him for, which is why he rarely allows people in that closely
just.. really desires validation, a stroke of his ego and admiration and can quickly be under the impression that his more “raw” self isn't worthy of that
i heard the lana del rey song “will you still love me, when i'm no longer young and beautiful? will you still love me, when i got nothing but my aching soul?” (again.. wow, i remember getting it for my ideal type reading too)
i see jake's insecurities and unstable self-esteem making him a person who feels offended and hurt more quickly, which can lead to him becoming sharp, offensive and cutting with his words as a defence mechanism
i heard “hurt people hurt people”
can easily feel mistrustful which can lead to forceful and controlling behavior -> can experience issues allowing you your freedom out of fear of you moving on
jake kept giving me this feeling of “i want to find a person who can make me feel like i'm at home” i just kept hearing the word “home” continuously.
random note, i also thought of australia and his mother a lot, she comes up in almost every reading for him
for the pro's, the knight of cups fell out together with the four of wands, and the way it fell gave me the image of jake (knight of cups -> scorpio sun) seeking for this feeling of belonging and arriving home (four of wands) like he finally found the person who gives him the warmth he's searching for.
two of the following cards were the star and the nine of cups which gave me.. “thank you for making my hopes and wishes become reality, thank you for staying with me.” the reading was quite moving, tbh. i didn't expect that.
apparently, he is a scorpio stellium with an aries moon in the eight house, so.. phew. yeah. makes sense. jake is a bunch of intensity and emotions wrapped into one human, literally. he feels and senses everything three times as deeply as others.
his sun does fall into his fourth house too though, which explains how closely he ties himself to his family, and the meaning of home. he really craves a safe space.
sunghoon
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pro's
trustworthy, committed and loyal boyfriend (probably number one in enhypen right now) -> he just won't find much interest in other people once he's with his lover
sunghoon is picky anyway, so once he's with someone, he firmly stands behind his decision and won't be the type to just allow his impulses to ruin anything
an insight i get again and again; he likes the idea of a connection that blossoms slowly but substantially
isn't the type to rush or jump from lover to lover but moreso approaches his relationships in a mindful manner
will spend a good amount of time getting to know you thoroughly, i see him studying people quite carefully
if he decides to date you, it's because he sees you as the person for him -> not the type to put on a show or play deceitful games with his partners, he's a serious lover
puts genuine effort into making sure the relationship is based on a stable foundation of trust (very important factor for him!) and mutual feelings
meaning, he'll make sure you know you can trust him but also find ways to truly figure out whether he can trust you
the type of boyfriend who wants to grow together with his partner, go through various different cycles together and continuously deepen the connection as time goes on
i do see sunghoon believing in fate and destiny, he can be quite intuitive in that sense
i heard “tell me all your secrets” and “tell me something you've never told anyone else”
sunghoon will want to be the one special person who's allowed to know you in and out, better than anyone else
wants to enjoy this subconscious, profound and unique connection with you in that way, like no one understands you the way he does and vice versa
i especially see him wanting to be the one to know about e.g. your struggles, you might not tell everyone about
like he's your person, the one you'd trust with your life
keeps the relationship very private
i just see being in a relationship with sunghoon as this experience where, being with him can feel like you're the only two people on the world; it's very intimate
he will quite literally be tunnel-visioned on you whenever you're together and naturally make you focus on him too
though i do see him enjoying experiencing different things together with his lover, this silent but powerful connection and communication is likely to still be present, even when you're amongst a crowd
like this.. one moment of eye contact between the two of you, can already tell the other person what they're thinking and feeling, type of dynamic
con's
can have the habit of naturally holding himself back a lot and therefore store a lot of his worries inside
this man can overthink and overanalyze much more than you'd think, but many of his partners might not even figure that out since he's very good at disguising it
i keep feeling so chilly inside while reading for sunghoon, it's almost like.. once he gets to this place of overwhelming and inner stress, he often turns cold
tends to rationalize his more “negative” emotions since they can get confusing and too much for him otherwise
but he also doesn't enjoy confronting his lovers with them at all, out of fear of causing disharmony, or laying himself bare in this vulnerable or “weak” state
genuinely doesn't want to burden people, especially his significant others, with his own inner conflicts but can also have issues processing and finding healthy outlets
so he's likely to, either distract himself by focusing on his own desires and endeavors away from his significant others (like his career and work), or generally withdraw and isolate himself from them in order to somehow cope
i also see him potentially struggling to empathize and understand other people's standpoints at times
sunghoon does tend to look back at himself and reflect on his own behavior a lot, so he can get caught up in this feeling of “no but i did everything right, everything is fine, i don't understand why you'd be this way”
it's this frustration of sincerely wanting to understand you, but just not always being able to, which can result in him turning distant, stiff and detached emotionally
i also see some potential judgemental and overly picky tendencies in terms of superficial things, like appearance
maknae line coming very soon! stay tuned <3
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lovesick-gardening · 2 days ago
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Nikto with the sunshine, sweet, good, just reader who despite being that way guards their heart. so this man is intensely in love with you, like to the point of dreaming of you and genuinely staying quiet because you're so beautiful in his eyes he doesn't even know how to formulate a coherent sentence ...... yeah, this man is a total loser (affectionate). He's always looking after you even when you're not aware of it and he visibly comes to attention whenever anyone so much as mentions your name around him. You walk into a room and he is laser focused on you and sometimes he doesn't even realize how awkward that might be, but when he does remember, he's soooo grateful for the mask because his ears and neck and face feel so warm when you're around. a curious mix of shy in odd ways, yet gruff and absolutely puffing his chest and showing off whenever he can.
Oh and if you wear the niqab?? youre a hijabi??? he's melting at the softness of your eyes, the strength of your gaze. nikto looks into your eyes and wants to learn everything there is to know about you, about the softness of your eyes and the way your whole face lights up with a smile so precious that he can't even fathom what kind of effect actually seeing it would have on his heart. of course you're so gorgeous, really not everyone is even worthy of seeing your face. He gets it and never makes you feel uncomfortable and he never pressures you to take it off.
Nikto sometimes gets so absorbed in the bubble you too can create at times, but he's immediately disgruntled whenever another man tries to get your attention for some selfish reason. No, does this guy even know how excited you get talking about your favorite media? does he even know what your favorite subject was in high school or even an inkling of the thought process behind your outfits???? Nikto will literally subtly match your outfit in some way and he’ll fuss with that one thing to make sure it’s perfect. And even if you don’t notice it, he’ll do it all the time anyway because his whole being lights up at the thought of sharing anything with you. A style, a home, a life, if you’ll let him.
And then there is you. so kind, warm and intelligent and amazing and always making others feel welcomed and loved. You're always encouraging others to be confident. You - who affected Nikto with kindness that came so easy to you but meant everything to him. every moment of it, every bit of it, every second of it. When you talk to him and he talks to you, he feels like you two are the only people in the world and every second with you is precious. He hangs on to every word that leaves your mouth, tucks it safe into his ribcage where if you were ever to truly see the space you hold in his life, you'd know it's a library dedicated to everything you. What you love, what matters to you, your intellect, your experiences, your likes and dislikes. You mean so much and you don't even know. You withhold parts of yourself even from close friends - like your interests or the kind of books you like, for example - so everything Nikto knows is through pure devotion of his time and attention to you, only you. It has always been you and will never be anyone else.
You, who distance yourself from others the second they show any romantic interest in you. A waiter at a restaurant specifically tends to table around yours and keeps turning to see you and you don't even realize; it's only when a friend teases you about him having an interest in you do you realize. And it's the way you clam up and freeze that keeps Nikto from ever spilling his heart in incriminating ways. With words he can never take back and hides and lives with all the same. But oh - his feelings for you are anything but subtle, even when he thinks he's being mellow about them.
He holds your bags for you and if you have a favorite drink you'll first find it on your desk before Nikto works up the courage to just give you it each time that he knows you're craving for it. So strong, so big, so tall, and sometimes so gruff and other times he comes to life with this devastating streak of boyishness - like when he figures out something about you or when you let down a wall or when he knows he's flustering you. All he wants is to be let into your innermost circle where he'd live forever under your shade. If you're sitting under a tree, he's finding refuge in your shadow. His heart is entirely yours and shies and twists and even aware of its own weaknesses and faults, but still, Nikto doesn’t want it anywhere except with you.
What he wants is for you to know you’re always safe with him and you can rely on him. He’ll do everything from cooking your favorite meals to even shielding you from the sun when it’s too hot and the wind when it’s too cold. He’ll see you shiver and coo at you for not keeping yourself warm enough as he gets on the floor and slips socks onto your feet. It’s the best and worst kind of agony because he wants to do so much more for you. Want to tuck you into his side, wrap a blanket around you and kiss your forehead, your, eyes, your nose, your cheeks, and then your lips. To silence all those fears and insecurities, all those doubts. To have the honor of you asleep in his presence. Entrusting him with yourself
He's incredibly restrained - never wanting to make you uncomfortable, but it's his eyes that give him away. So wild with yearning and affection and want that overwhelms anyone looking on. Like he's never seen another person before, like you’re a star come down to earth, like you're all anyone ever wants.
He's okay with holding back for now, whatever it takes to be close to you. He'll accept anything you give him if it means you’ll let him look after you, to be a part of your life in any measure.
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genderqueerdykes · 1 day ago
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hi I feel kinda silly for not knowing, but I can't easily google this: What does tma/tme mean? I've only ever seen the abbrieviations
thanks for stopping by to ask! hey that's okay most people don't know what they mean, it's used by a niche group of people who are very rude and are hellbent on making afab people, trans men, intersex people and other queer people feel like shit all over again for no good reason.
they stand for "transmisogyny affected" and "transmigoyny exempt". they are dog whistles used to say "trans woman/tranfem" with "tma" and "afab people, intersex people, people perceived to be afab people trans men, transmascs, and basically anyone who isn't a trans woman". however the way its most commonly use code words. TME is used as a code word for trans man, transfem or afab person, TMA is used as a code word for perisex (non-intersex) transfems and trans women.
it's an easy way for people to say they hate trans men, transmascs & afab people without actually saying it, which makes them feel better about themselves. really what they're trying to do is attract people who feel the same way who are too scared to say it out loud. they don't want to risk garnering outright too much hate by outright saying "nasty transmascs, trans men and afab people" but they can say "nasty TMEs" because it's gussied up as progressive. according to the people use it, it's "about oppression,". it's not, but that's what they say it is.
people who consider themselves TMA look down on TME people because they're "not as oppressed," but i quite literally don't know in what universe AFAB people are not oppressed. that is such a twisted view on the world, first of all. AFAB people are oppressed no matter what, even if they are transmascs or trans men. AFAB people are subject to all kinds of oppression from birth. people in certain transfem echo chambers believe AFAB people, intersex people, transmascs and trans man can never suffer ever for some reason. it's really bad.
it's an oppression olympics thing. some people are not interested in having a real conversation about the struggles trans people face. they just want everyone else to clam up and listen to them with rapt attention and never speak. TME and TMA don't work because transmisogyny affects everyone regardless of gender. anyone can be affected by transmisogyny due to the hyper visibility of transfemininity.
it's also been pointed out that black trans people do not segregate people into "transmisogynoir affected" and "transmisogynoir exempt". this would be a ridiculous thing to do. it's creating unnecessary barriers between trans people.
some AMAB queer people, transfems & trans people have a knee jerk, cat hiss reaction towards queers who were born with vaginas. it's really scary honestly. i don't know why. this entire thing is to try to figure out what genitals you were born with. like be careful around people like this and don't try to tell them which one you are because they are literally trying to figure out what genitals you had at birth & what gender you were assigned at birth. it's not to make you "safer" for transfems and trans women to be around or whatever. this is a transandrophobic dog whistle. stay safe. thanks for stopping by, take care of yourself
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utilitycaster · 13 hours ago
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i keep seeing people say that OF COURSE Bell Hell's haven't grown or changed, it's only been 3 months in campaign! and it's been nonstop! and every time I see that, I gotta admit 1. okay so you admit they haven't grown, cool. 2. that feels like a watsonian answer to a not-quite-watsonian complaint. iirc, m9 were only a few months longer than BH by the time their campaign ended, and it's been pretty comparable irl time. Both bell's bells and m9 had significantly less 'in world' time than vm and the m9 grew and changed plenty.
Because there's a discrepancy between 'time in game' and 'time at the table' for actual play, using 'in game' time as an excuse for...anything, feels thin. Because it still FEELS like three years both to us and the players! Does that make any sense or am i losing my mind? cause every time i see answers like that I feel a little crazy for feeling like it's almost entirely unrelated to complaint they're trying to address
No, it makes complete sense. I discussed this here as well but on some level it's like ok so they haven't changed! Turns out they suck, and the fact that they haven't changed means we have a party that still sucks. Like, if your point is "I don't like this character trait", someone saying "well it makes sense for them to have it" doesn't fix the core problem of you not liking it. This is a repeated problem in discussions in this campaign. I think Liliana dying would have been narratively interesting; I literally give zero fucks whether it's deserved, because she isn't real and I'm not a believer in Calvinism nor instant karma in real life and plenty of people die for unfair reasons and I happen to really enjoy exploring that and how people respond to it in fiction. You can't have a conversation with someone who, when you say "I'm not a big fan of vanilla ice cream, do you have chocolate?" says "but vanilla is literally a complex flavor made from orchids?" (Also yes, the Mighty Nein are a great example of a party who were already more closely bonded about a month and a half in, following Molly's death; the entire campaign was almost a year long though a bit shorter in terms of time together due to Happy Fun Ball time dilation. For reference, Bells Hells have been together 4 months and 5 days, and the Mighty Nein, at that exact same amount of time, were exploring the second Uk'otoa temple, and a number of them were already rethinking their whole deal at that point.)
I don't currently have any original posts to make re: criticism of Campaign 3 until next episode, most likely - I'm reblogging well-made posts I see, and obviously I'm answering asks, but I said this more briefly in the tags of another post earlier and I'd like to elaborate, but this has been a problem for me, at least, the entire campaign:
Campaign 3 has a small but loud contingent of fans who are utterly incapable of tolerating the idea that other people hold different opinions than they do and post them on their own blogs (often even not in the main tag). They respond to this with abuse and harassment; with a constant switching of direction to the point of self-contradiction; and with doubling and tripling down on statements I personally find to be bigoted. They are, in my opinion, small-minded, unintelligent, self-absorbed people who are so locked into, as I said here, an Us vs. Them mentality that so long as there is anyone who doesn't like them they will never be happy. They have gotten, narratively, almost everything they wanted thus far, but they'll never be happy so long as someone openly disagrees with them. Like, if the fact that your ship is the most popular one for this campaign on ao3 is so important to you, why are you so pressed about a few people disliking it? If liking Campaign 3 means you're a good anticolonial leftist and you're therefore allowed as a white person to mock the experiences of any nonwhite person actively dealing with the consequences of colonialism why do you need the support of The Bad People Who Don't Like It? If you can be broken by anything less than universal adoration, then, well. Break, bitch.
Essentially, think "the personality of Elon Musk in a broke 20-something whose main interests are cartoons aimed at a grade school audience, and a three sentence incorrect summary of Marxist theory that they use to justify whatever they already wanted to do," and you'll get the picture.
My advice therefore is that it's not really worth arguing, and frankly, there would be little to no discourse if they weren't so pathetically insecure that a post saying "The structure, pacing, and message of Campaign 3 are all weak and inconsistent, and Bells Hells have so little motivation they fail to be heroes, villains, nor antiheroes" sends them into an extended tantrum because the OP didn't append the words "I think" or "I feel" at the beginning of every statement, as most of us assume any reasonable adult would understand that a person posting on their own blog is posting their own opinions. (And, frankly, appending those words doesn't really help half the time because most of them are ultimately mostly outraged that someone would dare think or feel things that they don't.)
I am making posts about my thoughts on Campaign 3; I think most other people with criticism thereof are doing so as well. I will only be convinced otherwise by Campaign 3 itself being better, and I think it's probably too late for it to do so, and I will not be swayed nor intimidated by people who, see previous paragraphs re: my thoughts. My advice to you and anyone who's saying "wait a second" is to trust your gut; everything you said here seems like a pretty good assessment. If it helps, back away from the fandom and see what you feel without the influence of others (including me!) posting, and go with that.
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alexhasalotofthoughts · 17 hours ago
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Okay it's been long enough since TIT that I can share my thoughts with a clear head. I literally slept the whole of yesterday because I was so tired (thank you, London).
Seeing Dan and Phil was a really big deal for me—as I'm sure it is for most fans. I've been a fan of DnP since primary school and now I'm nearing the end of secondary school and the start of uni so this feels like a very big full circle moment.
As cringe and stereotypical as it is, DnP videos have always been there when I needed them. When I was having a bad day at school, or struggling to come to terms with my sexuality/gender, there were Dan and Phil, ready to put a smile on my face. Dan's coming out video was released the same year I started being bullied for my sexuality and seeing someone I looked up to as much as him be so honest and open really helped me to feel less alone. I rewatch that video a lot. I will always be grateful for that.
I've worn my Interactive Introverts bracelet everyday since I brought it with the DVD (my mum would not let me see them live at the time as I was "too young" lol) so Dan and Phil, in some way, have been there for every big and small moment in my life. They were technically there when I got an offer from the uni I want to go to. I literally wore a Dan and Phil shirt to my autism assessment. They were mentioned in my autism assessment report (though I am not the person who said that for the confessions part of the show, that was someone else. I am not trying to steal their thunder lol). I can't even begin to express what a big part of my life their videos have been.
As I'm sure has been mentioned many times by now, my show was filmed so I might even end up on YouTube or a DVD (PLEASE DAN AND PHIL, KEEP PHYSICAL MEDIA ALIVE) or something, though I doubt that because I was in the royal circle. Also a drunk girl hung if the balcony and heckled for most of the show. I think even ended up getting kicked out. I saw somewhere on twitter that Phil asked for her to be kicked or mentioned to staff that she was too loud but I have no idea how true that is as I was on the opposite side of the circle to her and I have never and probably will never speak to Phil to confirm this.
Other than that, though, the show was absolutely brilliant!
Genuinely! It was so funny and it was absolutely lovely being in a room of people who have the same interests as me; I literally saw a "Be More Chill" "Boyf" bag, "Heathers" tracksuit bottoms, a FNAF Bonnie keychain and a Doctor Who badge all in the space of 5 minutes of one another. My people. Someone even complimented my hat, though I find London so overwhelming that I forgot to respond properly lol (sorry hat person, you were very nice! I liked your whiskers!).
Before the show, they played "Hot To Go" by Chappell Roan, and the whole theatre sang and danced along, which was absolutely lovely!
I was laughing and cheering for about 2 hours straight, so I'd say it was money well spent, though my mum literally fell asleep during the first act so I don't know if she'd agree.
One thing I will say: seeing sister Daniel in the flesh is literally a HOLY experience—I am so... Gay? Straight? Bisexual?? I'm not sure which word go use in this situation but Daniel was hot, so who cares?
To conclude this overly long blog post no-one will read, it was fun and I feel like 12 year old me would look at me now and smile. I saw Dan and Phil live. I got an offer from the uni I wanted to study film! I write!! I have friends who care about me!! I'm not ashamed to like the things I like!! God, they would be so proud of me. And I am proud of them.
TIT pics below ;)
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(That last pic was taken by my mum, hence why I look so awkward. I was happy, I swear.)
Thank you very much if you read this! I really do go on a lot but also this is my blog and I suppose that means I can go on as much as I want.
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royalcommunistthor · 2 days ago
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tell you what these people neither care about thor nor they care about loki. they just need to WOOBIFY loki that's IT and who is the closest to loki and affect loki? thor. yes, poor loki loves their abuser and sends destroyer to kill his brother (and you will also find these people justifying this by saying loki wasn't in right mind)
they will often mention that they love thor but no one is falling for their bs. what do you mean that being an abuser makes thor more interesting. I think you have an affinity towards abuse babe if you should get help. projecting on a fictional character is not going to help in long run
thor keeps being thrown under the bus every two weeks because of his association with loki. dude's only fault is that he couldn't stop loving that greasy weasel even after enduring countless abuse from loki. loki clearly ruined his life
tbf woobifyng has been around since the beginning of time so like they had to do it to him i guess. i will never understand why it's such a persistent and universal fandom phenomenon lest of all why anyone would do /ALL THAT/ for a man played by tom hiddleston. but. that's not any of my business.
don't even get me started on the whole jotun thing. MCU LOKI DOES NOT EXPERIENCE RACISM, MCU LOKI DOES NOT EXPERIENCE MARGINALISATION OF *ANY* KIND, MCU LOKI IS NOT BULLIED BY THOR, HE IS CERTAINLY NOT BULLIED BY HEIMDALL. can't believe this is something that apparently STILL has to be said- over and over might I add- despite the movies spoonfeeding it to you. the deleted scene has loki torment a servant, another scene that has been kept in has loki saying a guard should be FLOGGED for *gasp* taking too long. mans talking about subjugation and birthrights for like 3 movies straight. HE IS THE BULLY, BITCH!
what loki's jotun heritage reveal in the mcu does is RECONTEXUALISE LOKI'S RELATIONSHIP WITH POWER (which is 😘🤌) it doesn't mean that loki hadn't been wronged but it also doesn't make him experience racial discrimination! if anything, loki is time and time again shown to have everything back to front (which is honestly what makes him fun)- he grossly miscalculates thor's 'golden child' status, he spits that odin could never have a frost giant on the throne of asgard and then sits on that very throne a heartbeat later BECAUSE HE IS SECOND IN LINE! he thinks thor will never forgive him or see him in the same light as before - AND THOR FORGIVES HIM AND LOVES HIM, LOVES HIM EVEN WHEN HE'S ANGRY WITH HIM OR FEELING BETRAYED. it's literally the constant in loki's life.
thing about mcu thor & loki is that they essentially start in the same place, i mean it LITERALLY & FIGURATIVELY. we see them orbiting their father, eager for his attention and praise; their flashback as children running parallel. THEY GROW APART AND CHANGE IN DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS which is THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT, as you know...a basic storytelling device, but they're very clearly raised as equals, yes odin says they were both raised to be kings but we don't really know what that means; was loki meant to be a puppet king of jotunheim or a different client kingdom? were thor & loki meant to co-rule? was he meant to be thor's advisor/shadow co-king? was this a line from an earlier version of the script that just didn't get amended or taken out? we might never know, but one thing is certain; being the second son of a royal family is not oppression. the way this fandom talks about him you'd think he's fucking cinderella.
i hate the whole abuse debacle but for argument's sake like a person who manipulates you into being punished and then also tries to kill you several times would be the abuser. thing about thor is that he doesn't see himself as a victim and i think that's overwhelmingly a good thing because it makes him a more interesting character and it makes his relationship with him family more complex, he's anchored in by that deep personal connection no matter what happens - not to cringe quote star wars here but he loves his family more than anything they can do wrong. and BOY, wrong they do.
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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monstersinthecosmos · 6 months ago
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i feel like slightly younger than marius mael is the best just for flavor reasons lol. reeaally curious to know what you think
I think I usually land on slightly younger but not like a baby. Like early 30s maybe. BUT I'LL TELL YOU SOME THOUGHTS OF WHY I LIKE EACH OR WHY EACH COULD WORK:
Under 30: First of all because of Jesse's chapter in QOTD--Maharet was turned around age 20 I think? And for Jesse, I'm sure there's that sort of uncanny thing where your mind fills in blanks and makes excuses, like, her "aunt" has been around her whole life so like gee golly I guess she just looks young for her age! Except that there's like the vampire uncanniness too, so whatever you judge as an age doesn't super matter. So like, Mael blending in as one of her guy friends in his early 20s would make sense. Jesse DOES also clock him as not being human, so again I think the uncanniness might not make her peg either of them as a certain age.
I do worry if this clashes with the idea that he could properly be a priest? Caesar said that it takes 20 years to train a priest, but A) A lot of what Caesar said is like anti-Keltoi propaganda and might not be accurate since the Druids famously never left anything in writing, so there's very little first hand information about them. B) MAYBE IT'S OKAY BECUASE IN VC-VERSE TESKHAMEN IS REAL AND MAEL WAS REALLY COMMUNING WITH HIM SO IF THERE WAS LIKE MAGIC AFOOT IN THE COMMUNITY MAYBE HE GOT FAST TRACKED OR RESPECTED AS BEING SPECIAL IDK. I can work with it and make excuses lol.
I LOVE the idea of him being like a young man because of how much madder that would make Marius, plus the way he likes to mentor young blonde men lol. But it might like hurt him even worse if the author of all his misfortunate is like SOME KID.
In his 30s: Personally I usually land here because I DO wonder how long it takes him to gain status in his community and become a priest (in his 30s is still fast tracking it but maybe feels more plausible LOL) and I enjoy the idea of he and Marius being sort of similar to each other. Like, Marius often gets used as the example of Turning an Older Guy and what it means for his temperament and the way it translates to his immortality. I like imagining Mael as around Marius's age for that reason, like I want to remove all his excuses why Mael is a young stupid kid or even an old salty jerk--it forces Marius to confront that Mael is ALSO someone who is chill and smart and has had enough life experience. BUT WHILE THERE'S A WINDOW WHERE THEY COULD BE SIMILAR IN AGE, OR MAEL COULD BE A TAD OLDER, I ALSO STILL ENJOY MARIUS BEING LIKE "HE'S YOUNGER THAN ME I HATE THIS!" BECAUSE HIS AGE AND SELF-PERCEIVED WISDOM & EXPERIENCE ARE IMPORTANT TO HIS IDENTITY AND HE FEELS BELITTED LOL.
In his 40s: Makes sense for the above reason! But I like to skew younger personally just for the Marius ageism dynamic lol. Also there's something about him being a foil to Marius where like, if they're very similar in other ways it can kind of emphasize how their atheism/religion contrasts each other and affects them as people.
Over 50: ALSO POSSIBLE and it's hilarious bc in the audiobook the narrator reads him like such a grouchy old man lmao. I could see this causing a lot of resentment because Marius likes to be the oldest and wisest in the room. I could see him also being younger because Marius insults him every chance he gets and I just think he would've told us that Mael is like an old hag if it were true lol. Anyway wondering how this effects Marius's barbarian kink and how he submits to men.
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jjoelswatch · 2 years ago
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Always amuses me (read: exhausts me) when people are surprised and angry when Star Wars creators refer to Thrawn as a villain and act like it’s the end of the world because the creators don’t “get” the character.
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countingprimes · 8 months ago
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sometimes i see queer people make low hanging anti straight jokes, and they'll often pre-defend themselves by saying straight people don't need defending as if the queer community isn't populated by tons of straight people, straight trans people, straight ace people, straight poly people. queerness doesnt exclude exclusively opposite sex attracted people and it bothers me to see these jokes and their subsequent defenses because normative society certainly rejects these folks because of their queerness and now you are inside the queer community rejecting them for who they desire. i think about straight trans folks the most who are out here under fire from normative society who turn to the queer community for support only to be inundated with sentiments like straight people are actually the real lesser than folks, and it's easy enough to say straightness is valorized in normative society so shitting on straight people is punching up, but i can't help but be keenly aware that the queer straight people tend to be queer in the ways which are often excluded from queer community. so actually yeah i do think straight people need our protection, not heteronormative culture, but individual people? yeah. the "coming out as straight" jokes are all haha good times fuck the straights until you think about the fact that straight trans people when they come out are functionally doing that. after all how many straight trans people used to think they were cis gay people. and we, inside the queer community, turn their experiences into a mean spirited punch line designed to reject them from queer community.
like sorry i just don't think we are gonna find queer liberation by trying to figure out which group we are allowed to make fun of for having the wrong sexuality.
#i also feel similarly about the way feminist circles talk about men#you're right men as a social class don't need defense#but when you frame literally every single interest someone could have as a negative just because they are a man with said interest#you arent fighting patriarchy you're just shitting on individual people and then wondering why they feel threatened#like .... i think about the tweet from#the person who delayed their transition to avoid being a male film student#and yeah the punch line is very funny and i laughed but the sentiment itself is very very dark imo#gender euphoria? no can't risk it cause then people will think negatively of me#simply for being my own gender in my own field of study#like misandry isn't real on a structural level#but as i pass more masculine i'm keenly aware of all the ways my behaviors and mannerisms which were charming and tomboyish as a woman#are all negative traits i need to suppress and modulate for the sake of others if i am perceived as a man#same person - same jokes - same opinions- but taking up space as a woman is a good thing#taking up space as a man means you're suppressing women#it's weird#cause in theory being more masc should mean i am treated with consistently more respect and have my ideas listened too more#after all im no longer affected by misogyny right?#(of course the dirty little secret of that is thst you have to be white and perform appropriate white masculinity while being stealth#for that respect to work cause brown skin and a fey voice will exclude you from that bump#real fast) but it's an interesting nexus to exist in a place where normative society says i need to make myself smaller#because i'm a woman and therefore inferior but also the internet subculture im around says i should make myself smaller because im#not a woman and i'm taking up their space#but it's all fine cause patriarchy is bad so this is just doing feminism right?#the third wave really fucked people in the head it seems
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maddy-ferguson · 2 months ago
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talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)
#and like i say: brf slt#they don't know i'm crazy and as long as you're normal about it having seen a lot of movies just makes you come off as someone who's like#interested in culture i guess. which i am. but it's fun#and the books thing too and also knowing a lot about sociology#i have things to say jokes to make so in two months they haven't even realized i haven't lived a life yet🙏#i didn't even do it on purpose the way it happened is in 2019 i was very depressed suicidal etc then i got better but i was focused on#like...idk. basically getting used to being okay with being alive again? then it was 2020 and we didn't have classes in person full time#until september 2021. that's how it was for university students here. i did hang out with people but no one i LOVED or actually became#close with and it's true that i could have tried harder but i didn't because guys i love being by myself😭😭😭#then three years went by and now we're here. it's fine it's just that i don't have a lot of anecdotes that aren't old because LITERALLY#nothing has happened to me. nothing#that's not true i did talk about something semi-recent to my bff on friday it was about my 'friends' who hated on everyone the same way i#did when i was literally 12 and about how anxiety inducing it was because after a while i was like is this how they talk about me when i'm#not around🤨 i actually talked about that then. january or february 2023#this has been in my drafts for a week and i talked about the post i talk about in that last tag last week when i talked about my mutual who#blocked me that's the post she replied to to give me advice😔#also it's funny i said they don't know i'm crazy and a guy asked me what my favorite tv shows were and i don't know why i actually gave him#my full list like it's funny because like i said they think i like like good movies and good television and interesting books and stuff#and i know the shows i told him made him reassess that (which is fine but it's just funny) and also i told him i'm watching gilmore girls#for the 18th time and he was like you're joking i was like hm...and then he was like no you're being serious because it's way too#precise...and THAT i could have not told him. i was like whyyy did i tell him that...but it's fine#HE HADN'T EVEN HEARD OF SUCCESSION? 34-year-olds...#i mentioned the sopranos a couple weeks ago and my future bff was like what is that and i was like ? then i asked two more people and they#didn't know the show either so i was like i'll ask him (34-year-old) i know he'll know the sopranos and he was like OBVIOUSLY i know#the sopranos it's supposed to be one of the best shows of all time and later i asked if he had seen succession and he'd never even heard of#it? crazy. i mean if it had been anyone else i wouldn't have thought it was crazy but i expected HIM to know succession
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phantajam · 6 months ago
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my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)
#they were still adjusting to living life without struggling to survive#a girl should not be jumping into a relationship the same week she just tried her first piece of non-rotten food lol#thats not to say I don't like the canon ships#but mal married literally the FIRST man she met in auradon. at 18.#and even as far as in descendants 2 we see them still struggling to adjust in different ways (mainly mal)#in d3 they seem to have fully assimilated into life in Auradon (as much as a VK can anyway)#so it makes sense for them to THEN seek out relationships if that's what they want.#but disney ofc wanted to act like romantic love just automatically fixes a person's problems ig?? as if a relationship wouldn't just be#added stress given the position the VKs were in in d1#not to mention dating just like. wasnt a thing on the isle (mal even says this)#and I get that the kids are craving to be loved because their parents didn't gaf about them. But I wish the first movie focused more on the#finding that love in each other than romantically with outside people. a sort of “they had love in them all along” moment.#and then this fandom loves to argue about whether Jarlos/Janelos was 'rushed'. at least Carlos (and Jay +lonnie) waited a few months before#throwing themselves into the dating scene. Poor evie had her heart broken within like 3 days of being in Auradon. no wonder she was willing#to help steal the wand lol.#Anyway to wrap up this rant I didn't even mean to go on#I just think that kids who have spent the first 14-16 years of their lives fighting to survive and being put through continuous trauma on a#daily basis don't need dating right away. they need THERAPY.#if anyone here has seen stranger things its kinda an El and Mike situation were its like. the girl grew up in a lab and fell for the first#boy in regular society who was kinda nice to her lol. thats how I view Mal and Ben#same with doug and evie. he was nicer than chad but he still fell for her for her looks and she still fell for him because he was the first#guy in auradon to be genuinely interested in her. also evie had a whole “I dont need a prince” arc and ended up with a man anyway?#my problem with janelos was always that Carlos never quite worked out his mommy issues or his anxiety. I feel like he'd be afraid of hurtin#her even though that boy wouldn't hurt a fly. and we see Jane get pretty stressed out herself- have you ever been in a relationship where#both of you have anxiety? cause it either goes really well (you help keep each other calm) or REALLY terribly (you make each other spiral)#I actually really liked Lonnie and Jay (though I feel like it would've had a bigger payoff if she was in d3. not sure why she wasn't but I#wont dunk on that because it couldve been smth to do with her actress). I think Lonnie is someone who can 'handle' Jay well and match his#energy. And I like the idea of Jay finding someone he's loyal to after being commitment-phobic for 1 1/2 movies and the whole first book lo#and ofc I have to throw this in here: any auradon kid the VKs get with is never going to grasp even half of what they went through.#this doesnt mean they can't try to understand and be empathetic. but it will always cast a shadow on VK/AK relationships.
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musical-chick-13 · 1 year ago
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"This show is SO good, you should watch it!!"
I gotta be honest. If I look at a character list on Wikipedia and get five characters down without seeing a single woman, it's probably not for me.
#I have no patience for 'there is exactly one woman in the main/supporting cast' anymore#unless the writing is INCREDIBLE and the themes are explored with a type of depth and nuance I can't get anywhere else (like shiki)#(daily media plug for shiki)#then I just. probably will not vibe with it. if there are no women. (also shiki DOES have interesting female characters in it)#and this isn't to say that like. things involving men or talking about men or that have a male protagonist are Not Worth#My Time that is NOT what I'm saying at all. I just want like. several women. who show up and affect the story. like LITERALLY that is all I#am asking for. I feel like that's just. the bare minimum. but alas.#mel screams about fictional ladies again#there are plenty of things that are male-character-focused that I enjoy and even genuinely think are good! but I do want people to#ask themselves why they aren't willing to go to bat for media that DOES have more women in the cast than men.#(I mean. the answer is misogyny. but I want people to be. aware of that. and evaluate accordingly)#(evaluate meaning 'acknowledge I have some biases I need to continue deconstructing' not 'drop interest in everything tumblr#user musical-chick-13 personally doesn't like')#I feel like so many times we get trapped in this space between overcorrection via 'don't like ANYTHING that's pRoBLeMaTiC in ANY way'#and people taking the 'it's fiction it's not that deep' to the conclusion of 'because I cannot actually hurt fictional characters because#they're not real that means I am incapable of hurting irl people when they talk about those characters'#like there is. nuance here. there is a middle ground. and most people have NO interest in finding it lmao#and like...if you carry your biases from irl (which EVERYONE HAS. INCLUDING ME. COURTESY OF LIVING IN A PREJUDICED SOCIETY.) into a#direct and one-to-one evaluation of stories or characters that allow you to exercise those biased ideas. then that reinforces those biases#like. no hating...for example every anime lady isn't the same as structural misogyny like the pay gap or anti-women violence#but if you automatically associate the idea of 'female character' with 'lesser-than' it strengthens the already-present societal idea that#women are not as important or dynamic or worthy of support and attention as their male peers. if you are willing to see every (white)#fictional man as having interiority and depth but struggle to see that in any fictional woman then it adds to the things society is already#telling us about women. it creates an association of 'women' with 'inferiority' and uh. that's what misogyny is.#it is not the same as misogynistic crimes against irl women but it IS a reflection of the rhetoric and societal impulses that lead to them#and even if it's a reflection and not the actual thing. it's still important to break down and examine and reevaluate because#if we don't examine our OWN biases. then even if we tear down the greater oppressive structure we'll just end up building it back up again#no your thousands of words of m/m fanfiction or liking late 2000s shonen anime isn't responsible for misogyny nor are these things#inherently misogynistic. I just want like. some acknowledgement that something being 'for fun' doesn't automatically mean that bias/#prejudice is nowhere to be found
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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 months ago
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another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me
#literal acknowledged interpersonal abuse Needing to be ''mediated'' (implicit premise of preserving that relationship >>>)#and if the victim doesn't participate they're treating their abusive partner / abusive relationship as ''disposable''#like in what meaningful way. getting away from an abuser is ''disposing'' of them like imprisonment / killing From A State?#dropping an abusive relationship is ''disposing'' of it? like uh yeah i sure hope it is#this is always Vaguely Applied to ''ppl don't want to HANDLE CONFLICTS or DO THE WORK'' & then connected to political actions#like well someone's just a bad person In The World / All Things if they stopped being my friend and i don't know why#like of course that Can Be good faith. it's a personal business#but if someone ghosts you and you truly don't know why Yeah maybe there's something going on but like okay let them go#if they want to do that for reasons you don't think are Compelling or they just aren't interested / putting in that Effort then like#what Friendship is really being lost here. but then tweet about it with no context & a zillion ppl like SO TRUE kys randos#[fart reverb Conflict Is Not Abuse] standard abuse apologetics which are easy & a zillion ppl go SO TRUE b/c It's Abuse Culture#someone HAS to Answer My Texts / Calls / In Person Confrontations As A Bold Clearsighted Political Actor are you kidding#someone really doesn't. even if you Really are like ''and i'm not even consciously malicious'' what a high bar#one gazillion abusive parents will tell you And My Estranged Child Won't Even Tell Me Why / Doesn't Have Any Good Reasons / Won't Talk....#what am i supposed to doooo i'm at a losssss And Really I'm The Victim#''i want to break up'' / ''okay i don't :) let's talk through Your Feelings :) [waffle around until insisting on Same Access To Person]''#someone can rescind interpersonal access to themself For Any / No Reason. on a dime no explanation necessary. for god's sake#and friendship is not actually some magically pure & Neutral relationship either. same things#anyway just unfollowed some rando for their thread spinning off a vague qrt ''ppl are so AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION they unfriend u''#going on & on abt how You Need To Put In The Work & Effort & You're Just Probably A Bad Person Otherwise & Disposability like#the disposability is my three points wastebasket toss. death via the state =/= someone won't talk to you. can we be at all serious#every day i reach out further like aplatonic people [some emblem gesture] lovelessness [same] help me#thinking of a Good Tweet i saw abt framing everything re: interactions with others around Consideration first & foremost#wildly enough the way you treat people doesn't need to have Fundamental Assumptions re: like ah Friendship / Community / Love / Family &ccc#how do you treat a stranger. how do you treat someone who you don't personally like &/or vice versa. how do you treat ppl you don't Meet.#it's all so vague it could mean Anything but a) often hints towards [abuse victims are framed as Bad Political Actors]#& b) then that's what people read into & respond to for sure lol#as ever ''oh everyone's just little bitches who can't handle any discomfort. yes; this was prompted by my being discomfited''#wait yeah lol i did not Confront this stranger to try to Posit this to them in twttr's character limit; just unfollowed. disposability smh
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thekimspoblog · 8 months ago
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Demon trying to feed on my insecurities: "You're a bad driver"
Me: "Of course I am. I hate driving. Going 80 mph surrounded by tons of metal is nerve-wrecking. I try to do it as little as possible. Of course I'm bad at it"
Demon: "You're a bad writer"
Me: "Well that part's simply not true. I never claimed I was the greatest author of my generation, but when I put pen to paper I know what I want to communicate and I usually do it well. If someone isn't impressed with my work, that's unfortunate but they're entitled to their opinion"
Demon: "You're a bad leader"
Me: "Well I don't know about that! I mean there was that one time when... Ok look just because people don't see me as an authority figure doesn't mean... 😠 You know you can be a real asshole, demon!"
#joking aside the reason I suck at helping people is probably not dissimilar from why I'm bad at driving#the joke is “having good ideas which would work if people let you boss them around” and#“having enough charisma to persuade people to let you boss them around” are two different skills and I don't have nearly enough patience#for the latter#but no really it makes me deeply insecure seeing sycophants rally around the most transparently incompetent and self-interested POS people#and meanwhile I'm getting called shrill and presumptuous for pointing out that the left-wing is poorly organized and I could do it better#can we agree it's at least a little bit because I have aspergers and no penis?#like I realize what I'm doing is the political equivalent of “but I'm such a nice guy!” and I'm literally complaining that no one#respects ma authoritah#but just saying: maybe I wouldn't come off as such a petulant misanthrope#if I wasn't constantly being asked to fix problems that could have been avoided if everyone listened to me in the first place#“nobody likes an i-told-you-so” yeah that's why democracies keep falling to fascism cus you want someone pleasant over someone correct#at the same time sooner or later you have to look in the mirror#and I can count the group projects I've successfully headed on one hand; maybe it's me#if it was just that people don't listen to me than yeah this would just mean I have an ego#but there are plenty of women the left could be rallying around and it doesn't because of minor scandals and anarchist ideals#it's stupid and I'm becoming a tankie just because i'm sick of the idea#that political goals can be accomplished without a clear chain of commmand#i don't need to be the leader but WE NEED A LEADER#the hatian revolution succeeded because Toussaint Louverture organized random slave rioting into an actual army#and I just wish I had that kind of magic myself but I might already be too bitter#ftr this isn't in response to anything that happened recently I'm just still mad thinking about an anarchist group I tried to join#on facebook five years ago where I asked point blank what the marching orders were and got blocked for being “obviously a cop”#and the mod comes at me with “anarchists don't have leaders IDIOT”#yeah well you're the guys always saying you only oppose UNJUST hierarchies idiot!#excuse me for thinking you guys had a plan beyond perpetual infighting#not everyone asking blunt questions about the anarchist platform are feds you guys are just paranoid and ableist#and when you block people for asking what game plan is it really sounds like you just plain don't have one (which is depressing)#I don't care how many books there are about how anarchism is more than just “wanting a free-for-all”#if you attack anyone who tries to impose a hierarchy just to get shit done it really seems like that first impression of
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thatwitchrevan · 2 years ago
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The thing about armchair diagnosing cis people as trans is that if you accept that everyone's understanding of gender is deeply personal and that you shouldn't tell someone they're not trans or not trans in the right way, you should also accept that you can't tell someone they are trans or that they're not cis in the right way. Or that they have to either identify as trans or cis.
These are all just words and there's never any excuse to argue with someone over who they are.
I don't think most people are genuinely trying to overrule the 'cis in a gnc way' perspective but even being flippant about it is not helpful. Also I think cis people talking about gender in complex and fun ways is very cool.
#everyone is allowed to have their own gender#it's not like 'trans people get to do whatever they want and cis are boring and default'#cis just means you generally identify with the gender you were assigned or don't strongly identify with something else#not that you never think about what gender means to you or that you think you're a woman BECAUSE you have a certain body#everyone is capable of understanding the difference between sex and societal gender roles and gender identity#if we try to say that only trans people have this forbidden knowledge that's just another way of alienating ourselves#and suppressing discussion of gender#gender things#anyway i said this bc i was watching a video essay about transness in horror#and she talked about a mangaka who writes trans narratives and has this really complex relationship with his own gender#but doesn't openly identify as trans#and i think we will lose a lot of interesting stories and people if we tell cis people to either be quiet about gender identity or be trans#and i know it's like. 'no one's telling them to shut up they're the majority'#yeah yeah but like. being cis is such an ephemeral state of being#you could just as easily not be cis within a moment#so it makes no sense to me to act like every cos person individually is An Oppressor#they're literally not they're just other people under the same stupid capitalist imperialist society as us#that wants them to be stuffed into tiny marketable boxes just as much as it wants us to be#so not they're not an elevated class and they're not barred from the table#the reason we have community is for support and understanding but some cis people support and understand us and some trans people don't#everything has nuance#anyway i want to engage less with labels and more with people and let them tell me who they are
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