#are all negative traits i need to suppress and modulate for the sake of others if i am perceived as a man | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

countingprimes · 6 months ago

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sometimes i see queer people make low hanging anti straight jokes, and they'll often pre-defend themselves by saying straight people don't need defending as if the queer community isn't populated by tons of straight people, straight trans people, straight ace people, straight poly people. queerness doesnt exclude exclusively opposite sex attracted people and it bothers me to see these jokes and their subsequent defenses because normative society certainly rejects these folks because of their queerness and now you are inside the queer community rejecting them for who they desire. i think about straight trans folks the most who are out here under fire from normative society who turn to the queer community for support only to be inundated with sentiments like straight people are actually the real lesser than folks, and it's easy enough to say straightness is valorized in normative society so shitting on straight people is punching up, but i can't help but be keenly aware that the queer straight people tend to be queer in the ways which are often excluded from queer community. so actually yeah i do think straight people need our protection, not heteronormative culture, but individual people? yeah. the "coming out as straight" jokes are all haha good times fuck the straights until you think about the fact that straight trans people when they come out are functionally doing that. after all how many straight trans people used to think they were cis gay people. and we, inside the queer community, turn their experiences into a mean spirited punch line designed to reject them from queer community.

like sorry i just don't think we are gonna find queer liberation by trying to figure out which group we are allowed to make fun of for having the wrong sexuality.

#i also feel similarly about the way feminist circles talk about men #you're right men as a social class don't need defense #but when you frame literally every single interest someone could have as a negative just because they are a man with said interest #you arent fighting patriarchy you're just shitting on individual people and then wondering why they feel threatened #like .... i think about the tweet from #the person who delayed their transition to avoid being a male film student #and yeah the punch line is very funny and i laughed but the sentiment itself is very very dark imo #gender euphoria? no can't risk it cause then people will think negatively of me #simply for being my own gender in my own field of study #like misandry isn't real on a structural level #but as i pass more masculine i'm keenly aware of all the ways my behaviors and mannerisms which were charming and tomboyish as a woman #are all negative traits i need to suppress and modulate for the sake of others if i am perceived as a man #same person - same jokes - same opinions- but taking up space as a woman is a good thing #taking up space as a man means you're suppressing women #it's weird #cause in theory being more masc should mean i am treated with consistently more respect and have my ideas listened too more #after all im no longer affected by misogyny right?#(of course the dirty little secret of that is thst you have to be white and perform appropriate white masculinity while being stealth #for that respect to work cause brown skin and a fey voice will exclude you from that bump #real fast) but it's an interesting nexus to exist in a place where normative society says i need to make myself smaller #because i'm a woman and therefore inferior but also the internet subculture im around says i should make myself smaller because im #not a woman and i'm taking up their space #but it's all fine cause patriarchy is bad so this is just doing feminism right?#the third wave really fucked people in the head it seems

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