#literally all of the bottom 10 are 4/5/6 episodes!!

[clarkgriffon]

The Best of the Best: IMDB’s 10 Best Ranked Episodes of Gossip Girl 

[yourfavoritehouseplant]

I watched James Somerton's final video, and all I got was this 6 page document

As soon as I learned his final unreleased video was on Revolutionary Girl Utena, I knew I had to hate watch it. I didn't know that I'd spend the following 4 hours making a comprehensive doc on everything I hated about it. But here we are.

The TLDR (is this too long to be a TLDR?)

The intro section, as well as Part 2, are directly plagiarized from wikipedia. The rest is unclear.

He makes a “haha this show is so weird right guys” joke 10 different times

He reads Anthy as so emotionally stunted she literally has to be taught how to think for herself, and believes that being the rose bride makes her feel good

He says that his reading is ‘vastly different” from the rest of the community, before boldly stating that this is because he sees it as a “deeply allegorical and symbolic story”

He sees the sexual abuse as “not to be taken literally”

Insists that the show be separated into parts that are strictly literal and strictly allegorical for the entirety of parts 3 and 4, before making the contradictory move of analyzing characters as allegories during part 5

The only characters that get dedicated sections are Akio and Dios, who he doesn’t believe are the same person. 

He says Dios gets his powers by “deflowering women”

He calls Akio, known child predator, a chaotic bisexual

Uses 14 year old SA survivor Anthy’s passive personality to make a joke about her being a bottom

His final point is that Utena was the real prince all along

There are no citations

Anyway, full version for people who hate themselves under the cut. With time codes, because I cite my sources.

Part 1: Intro

This entire section is almost exclusively quoted from the Wikipedia article for Revolutionary Girl Utena. Words have been changed, but the order at which certain topics come up is not. Highlights include:

0:56 In his introduction of Be-Papas, lists the founding members in literally the exact same order as Wikipedia.

1:40-2:00 His list of Be-Papas previous works is lifted entirely from wikipedia, only with the words changed. This leads to a strange moment at 1:52 where he claims Be-papas ‘lent their talents to’ Neon Genesis Evangelion, a show which started production at least a year before Be-papas was founded. On the wikipedia article for Utena, this is instead referring to the previous work of Shinya Hasegawa and Yōji Enokido

4:23 he uses a quote by Yūichirō Oguro describing the production as a “tug of war”. He seems to have lifted this in its entirety from Wikipedia, as he does not cite the actual source it is from (the box set companion book, btw)

As for James Somerton originals, at 0:44 he claims that out of all magical girl series,”none to my knowledge have been more discussed and dissected than the 1997 series Revolutionary Girl Utena” He will go back on this at 5:05, where he states that “Sailor Moon takes the lion’s share of discussion” in regard to influential magical girl anime

Part 2: Part 1

(At least I know I’m not funny, unlike James Somerton)

Speaking of which. Here is every single time he makes a “wow this show is sooooo weird you guys” joke: 6:00, 8:50, 10:40, 10:58, 13:46, 17:07, 24:16, 30:34, 41:19, 48:01

Here’s every time the punchline to the joke is the existence of Nanami, a character who he otherwise completely disregards: 10:56, 12:05, 16:22, 42:40

6:16 Claims that the “Apocalypse saga” and “Akio Ohtori saga’ are two names for the same several episodes, depending on the release. This is untrue. Instead, different releases either only have the Apocalypse saga, or split the episodes into an Akio Ohtori saga and then the Apocalypse saga. 

7:58 Claims Utena intervening on Anthy’s behalf begins the first duel. While this happens in the movie, Touga intervenes in the scene he uses clips from (like literally right after the shot he uses in the video). Utena only gets drawn into the duels when Wakaba’s love note to Saionji is posted. Youtuber Noralities’ Utena video also gets this wrong, which makes me wonder if this was copied.

9:09 Claims Akio’s “End of the World” moniker is actually more closely translated to “Apocalypse”. In reality, the translation moves away from a more apocalyptic reading, with 世界の果て (Sekai no hate) apparently translating closer to “the furthest reach of a known world” or “edge of the world”. (Love the implications of this translation, but I digress)

9:10 As can be assumed from the previous point, this means I can’t find any sources that point to them not using the title “apocalypse” for religious reasons

10:10 Uses Anthy’s extreme passivity under her Rose bride persona to make a top/bottom joke. I’m gonna repeat this in case you’re just skimming. He uses a trait that likely stems from years of abuse, (possibly exaggerated by the persona Anthy uses to manipulate people), and uses it to call her a bottom. 

He also just doesn’t seem to understand how the whole point of Utena constantly telling Anthy that she's just a normal girl who should make more friends is framed as Utena imposing her will on Anthy, just as much as the previous Engaged have done. 

11:54 Apologies in advance for my most “um, actually!” point yet, but technically his statement that Anthy stops being host to the Sword of Dios is wrong. Akio literally pulls a sword out of her chest in the final duel. It's a more evil-looking sword of Dios, granted.

13:02 !!! CANTARELLA SCENE ALERT !!! He interprets it as them fighting over Akio?? Which like. I will allow people to have their own interpretations of vague and symbolic scenes. I will. I swear. This is not technically incorrect. It just makes me want to eat my own intestines.

14:44 Bad Anthy take #1: He states Anthy “is emotionally stunted to the point where she needs people to make decisions for her because she does not know how to think for herself” This ignores several moments of Anthy clearly making her own choices throughout the show, including the suicide attempt Somerton mentions about a minute prior. This also strips Anthy of what little agency she has throughout the story, usually exerted through messing with Utena or Nanami. (The fact that she repeatedly makes choices that contribute to her own abuse is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting parts of her character, and it's a shame that Summerton’s ‘reading’ of the story completely disregards that)

Additionally, he once again reads Utena ‘urging Anthy to think for herself” in the first arc as an unambiguously good move, and not as something critiqued in the show.

14:52 Summerton reads the Swords of hatred as symbolizing men’s hatred specifically. Again, I’m trying not to completely disregard differing interpretations to a show like Utena, but this feels very simplistic, especially considering the harm we see aimed towards Anthy by other women

16:42 Here he claims that his reading of the story seems to be “vastly different” from the bulk of Utena discourse. What is this reading? That the show shouldn’t be read literally. Or, in his words, “[we can interpret] Revolutionary Girl Utena as a deeply allegorical and symbolic story about the struggles of coming of age amidst widespread institutional corruption in a high school and which describes a passive culture of inaction in regard to brazen instances of domestic exploitation in which there is not only a question about the caporeality of the events transpiring but also which events can be taken for granted and which events are meant to signify abstract sociological institutions.” The idea that he believes this is in any way a new reading of the material honestly baffles me.

Part 3: Part 2

17:48 through 18:50 differently quotes the Wikipedia article for postmodernism. He even makes a joke at 17:55 about Wikipedia. Please kill me. 

The first three themes he lists at 19:11 are just the three main themes listed on the Revolutionary Girl Utena Wikipedia page. What was that about a “vastly different” reading, James?

You’re gonna have to take my word for it, but this section is so short because it's just him talking about the various ways the story can’t be taken literally. He does, ironically, call this a hot take.

Part 4: Part 3

Here’s where the reading falls apart folks

At 23:15, he states that some things in Utena are allegorically coded, while others are to be taken literally. This is true. However, he seems to take this to mean that some parts of the show are Strictly Literal, while others are Strictly Allegorical for things going on in the Literal World. 

This is apparently why he prefers the Anime to the Movie, where there basically is no separation between the Literal and Allegorical

This take is bizarre to me for several reasons, but here is my favorite. At several points, he mentions how Revolutionary Girl Utena is a work of Magical Realism. Magical Realism is literally defined by its blending of the “literal” and “allegorical”, the mix of fantastical elements in a mundane, realistic setting. This idea of the impossibility of a blurred line, that Utena must either have lore where the magic is all real and means nothing, or dedicated allegory segments quarantined from the rest of the story, is contrary to the very idea of Magical Realism.

I can’t help but wonder if Somerton took his mentions of Magical realism from a previous work, due to how little it is consistent with his final argument. Either way, this section suggests a great lack of creativity in his analysis, a shame for such a creative work.

24:36: Shiori slander, for those who care

After this he gets really worked up about people assuming symbolism in everything, even when the author ‘doesn’t make it clear something is symbolic’. He shuts down a reading of a shot in the Lord of the Rings. Miley Cyrus is there? Very The Curtains Were Blue of him. 

28:22 Claims that Wakaba is the key to telling where the Strictly Literal segments end and the Strictly Allegorical segments begin. He states that, under this lens, deeply personal moments of character suffering such as all of the sexual abuse and Anthy’s suicide attempt (which he literally cites) should be read as symbolic and be “approached with uncertainty rather than confusion”. (28:24-29:13)

This also somewhat falls apart when you consider Wakaba is the jeep in the movie's car chase

And then he rants about people not liking his Attack on Titan video for a bit. Since its potential symbolism also doesn't follow hard enough rules to be symbolism. Once again, the separation of “fact vs allegory” I haven’t watched AOT, so that's all I’ll say.

Part 5: Part 4

Thank god this part is short. Much like Dios’ on-screen presence.

32:55 Makes the extremely bold claim that Dios is not Akio. As in, never even became Akio. because Dios is Strictly Allegorical.

Just to be a pedant, this is pretty explicitly disproven in the show

Confusingly, both earlier and later he will address these two as the same character. 

33:04 he also explains the root of Akio’s name in a tone that suggests this is supplemental information and not like. Literally something he explains out loud in the show?

Part 6: Part 5

This section is nearly entirely about Akio Ohtori. I would like to note that him and Dios are the only characters with dedicated segments.

38:30 The part where he states that Dios gets his powers from deflowering women.

38:46 Claims, once again, that Akio’s abuse of Anthy “may not be literal”. 

38:59 “the instance of exploitation here is used because assault has deep roots as indicating that akio's gender is the source of his imbalance”  THE ASSAULT IS ABOUT AKIO NOW???

39:45 Bad Anthy take #2: “Anthy’s conformity to the Rose bride is based around the fact that she feels good being subservient because this is the only thing in her life that has ever brought her any kind of positive reward”. This is a direct quote. Anyway, I can’t think of any instances in the show where Anthy’s subservience gives her a positive reward, except maybe when she’s intentionally using it to manipulate others. As for her feeling good being the rose bride. She tries to commit suicide. Dude.

Side tangent, but isn’t this exactly what Akio says during the final 2 episodes? That Anthy enjoys being a witch? Is the main villain, who consistently says things during that very episode that are blatantly false, our source of information for this take? I guess so, since this is the dedicated Akio section.

At 40:20 he decides to introduce the concept of Anthy, Akio, and Utena as stand-ins for wider concepts, which is antithetical to his approach in analysis beforehand

Part 7: Part 6

42:40 he finally acknowledges that he’s been spending too much time talking about Akio, and literally no time on characters like Nanami

46:10 states that Utena’s exclusive motivation “is to protect Anthy from the predatorial intentions of the other dualists”, which disregards the fact, which she states herself, that she was largely participating in the duels and protecting Anthy to feel like a prince

48:04 The part where he says that Akio has ‘chaotic Bi vibes’ in regards to him sleeping with Touga, who is 17 and implied to be a long-term victim

Part 8: Part 7

54:01: His concluding point is that Utena was the real prince all along. 

In true Somerton fashion, the video then ends over a scrolling wall of patrons, with not a single citation in sight.

[maxwell-grant]

The Penguin: Episode 1 Breakdown

(Episode 2) (Episode 3) (Episode 4) (Episode 5) (Episode 6) (Episode 7) (Episode 8)

Thank you Lauren LeFranc, Mike Marino, Colin Farrell and Matt Reeves, we owe you the world for this, good God. It's finally here everyone and I've decided I'm gonna give each episode it's own post/breakdown of thoughts, because hahaha holy shit you guys this is beyond what I even dreamed of, and we're gonna be covering this for a while I think. I've worked out enough madness about this out of my system by talking with friends and I can't seem to be able to work on anything else till I get this done, so let's do it.

Bottom line: This isn't even just a must-watch if you like the Penguin or if you like The Batman, this is something I'd recommend to just about anyone in a heartbeat, something I can point to when people ask "why do you like The Penguin so much" and, instead of the elaborate nerd ramble that usually turns them off, I can just tell them to watch this. A friend of mine (who already loves Batman and digs the Penguin quite a bit) even told me as much, that he's starting to get why I love the character so much, and truly, is there a better feeling than this? Well, there is, and it's watching the show. Let's dig into this first episode:

Right upfront I'm gonna say that this doesn't really seem to be the Sopranos rip-off that people have been calling it before release, although there are definitely Sopranos comparisons to make here. I've spent the past months finally watching The Sopranos in order to get the comparison and definitely want to talk about those comparisons after I finish it (and this show ends). This thing aims to stand on it's own legs as a crime show and it's smashing out of the gate with an extremely promising first episode.

So this just casually opens with the reveal that all along, there was a second rich Gotham the whole time that was completely unaffected by everything we saw in the movie, already throwing a great twist on the events of that movie, and further reinforcing how fucking full of shit The Riddler was. All we saw Batman and the others deal with in the movie was just affecting the poorer parts of the city. All Eddie did was drown rats, and make life worse for the people already in the bottom, while never even getting close to targeting the systemic rot that ruined his life. He retains ideological worshippers in subways obsessed with the corruption of the city without doing anything to actually improve it, and because of him, the streets of Gotham are waterlogged shitholes while the rich Falcone suburbs are doing just fine, peachy even.

I said a while back that, in spite of having about 6 scenes/10 minutes of Penguin runtime, The Batman managed to squeeze impeccably controlled Penguin Trademark Scenes, and this show opens with the last one they didn't get to then: Penguin killing someone for making fun of him. In the movie, he tries doing that with Falcone and is beaten to the punch, so here he gets to actually do it to disastrous consequences.

Fucking adore that the inciting incident of the show is based on the fallout of Oswald killing someone for making fun of him. He pours his heart about the dream he lives his life for, his new boss makes fun of him for being an embarassment to their profession and then he does the most typical Penguin thing by killing him for it and laughing afterwards. And then he realizes how badly he fucked up, and then we get a fucking perfect titledrop with his musical theme, the exact moment we finish The Batman and enter The Penguin.

God it is so fucking cool how the make-up/lighting, the scar across his face, makes it look like he's got a genuine beak from certain angles, how they're able to achieve that effect without giving him a more literal beak for a nose. Everytime they talk about the character, Reeves and Farrell always emphasize how integral the make-up was to them figuring out what to do with Oz, how little they knew what to make of his six scenes until Marino created their monster and suddenly everything fell into place. Mike Marino fully deserves co-credit for the creation of Oz.

Pretty amusing that Victor, as designed to be Penguin's Robin, has exactly the same origin as Jason Todd, a poor street kid trying to steal the hubcaps off the Penguinmobile (I'm sure this bodes very well for his odds at survival), as is the way in which Oz goes on about his recruitment. He press-gangs this kid at gunpoint to help him bury a body arguing with himself and eventually the kid why shouldn't he just kill him to be safe, while trying to impress the kid with his car and air freshener and later that bullshit about "What, you think I hire any schmuck off the street?". From the tile drop onwards, he's doing everything on the fly while also spinning long-term plans set in motion as soon as he's on screen, he's taking this kid in out of sympathy and because he enjoys a power dynamic over someone weaker than him and because he very much needs someone to help him get stuff done. I'm extremely interested in exploring Penguin having a mentorship dynamic and I'm beyond curious as to what happens with Victor from this point onwards, but that poor kid is in for a terrible fucking time.

Found it very funny how much he half-asses the murder threat to Victor. Like it's his first time actually doing it and he's trying to be serious, but not too scary because he's already seeing himself in the poor kid with a stutter and wants the kid to think he's also a cool guy like he wants everyone to think he's a cool guy. I also think having Victor as the POV helps to sell moments like these, because it's still terrifying to him. Even as we follow their stories, these power players of Gotham are still big scary monsters to people caught in the dregs and Victor helps to reinforce that.

I enjoy Oz being friends with sex workers and drag queens off the street as much as I enjoy Oz being depicted as the kind of guy who deludes himself into thinking the prostitute he's with actually likes him, Lauren and Farrell launched into a bit about in on the podcast and I'm curious to see what's going on with him and Eve here.

Lots of perfect funny little character moments across the whole thing. Oz insulted by the idea of taking extra pickles off a poor kid's dirty mouth, but with zero hesitation whatsoever for picking jewelry off his boss' corpse. Dude is governed by principles even as he actively has to break them to survive.

"Technically it's plum." "He is the - or was the - new kingpin", "He's got nurse-like qualities." The show is not overtly trying to get you to find Penguin likeable as much as it wants you to find him engaging - making you think he's likeable is Colin Farrell's job and he's masterful at it, definitely a lot more matured within the character compared to the movie.

If there's anything in particular I'm thankful for regarding Gotham (well okay Gotham led directly to Telltale Penguin which was the basis for this one, so really I do have a lot more to be thankful with Gotham), it's the decision to give him a legit waddle via the broken foot, but the way they incorporate it here with the club foot does so much for him, so much as a modern day reinvention of The Penguin. Adds so much to why he's never been a serious candidate for mob leadership, why he kinda had to spend all his time in the Lounge, why he actually needs someone to help him run affairs, why he has such a gaping ego wound and is so murderously angry at people making fun of him / calling him a goddamn penguin, adds so much validation and so much darkness and nuance to Oswald's overwhelming anger and bitterness over how the world treats him (and so much power should he opt to reclaim it, in turn). It's the kind of thing that frankly feels like it should have always been part of the character, like what all the previous versions were itching closer to or trying to get at. Of course this is a guy gets called a penguin and he hates it badly enough to murder people over it, of course.

This gets to really highlight how differently Oz acts depending on who he's with. Traditionally, one of my favorite things about The Penguin, and one of the things that puts him above the other villains, is that, due to his position, he has to interact with a lot more people than the other Bat-villains. He has to manage a lot more relationships and dynamics, he has to play peacekeeper and puppetmaster. he's the only one in the United Underworld who's regularly interacting with and recruiting other villains to do business with. He's the guy who you pin stuff on like the Gangland Guardians, Team Penguin, doing betting pools with the Rogues taking cover in his Lounge while Joker War is happening, having to rig games to keep good standing with Maxie Zeus and Frenchy Blake in Batman Audio Adventures, and so on. So I greatly enjoy this beat here of him talking about how makes himself smaller before the Falcones, and that moment of him adjusting his outfit and practicing expressions in the mirror before meeting with them. How he contorts himself is present in all of his relationships, and retroactively adds to the way he carries himself in The Batman.

It seems that Oz is functionally regarded as the Paulie Walnuts of the Falcones: useful muscle, loyal for the most part and amusing to keep around, but largely an unstable self-serving dumb asskisser kept where he belongs, a liability if not kept on a short leash. I think the show does a good job of highlighting all the reasons why Oz has never been seriously regarded as a viable option for a boss, even putting aside his disability. He is a fundamentally embarassing person for these serious respectable criminals to be around and of course, the joke is ultimately on them..

Of course, there is only two people in the show who actually know what he's capable of, Francis Cobb and Sofia Falcone, said to be the central relationships defining the show moving forward. Both of them also a defining commonality with Oswald, being people who are looked down on and dehumanized, and characters who are underestimated until it's time to bear their fangs.

Extremely invested in where they're going with Sofia Falcone, Cristine Milioti's been killing it, and will in fact not stop killing it. What a perfect villain for Penguin they've set up with her, someone who has his Kryptonite: she does not underestimate him. Although we know in advance that Oz is going to live and be in the next movie, the question here isn't even so much who's going to win the gang war, and rather how much damage these two freaks will do to the city until Batman gets back. In many ways, Sofia represents the shape of things to come just as much as he does.

She is this embodiment of both the pristine unfathomable wealth and privilege and power that he both detests and strives for, as well as this brutal new breed of madness and violence attacking the streets that he has to survive against and make deals with (and is himself very much a part of, however he denies it). She is Falcone's legacy in every way that matters, both a Kingpin of Gotham whose existence creates the oppressive conditions under which a Batman or a Riddler are created, as well as the Arkham Rogue, the larger-than-life sadist with a tragic origin and a signature torture-murder method and an embarassing name for the papers.

Even the fact that she is The Hangman, and Carmine was defined around his penchant for brutally strangling women - regardless of whether or not she did the crimes that got her in Arkham, she's become this larger-than-life themed expression of a violent obsession in a way that sets her up as every bit the Batman villain that The Penguin is. The two champions of the two Gothams, duking it out in this new world The Batman and The Riddler made, The Penguin vs The Hangman.

I am so glad Lauren LeFranc made the call for binning Alberto in the first five minutes so the rest of the show can focus on Sofia and make a real character out of her in a way nobody's ever really done before, every step of the way so far LeFranc has been perfectly on the ball about where to take these characters and their conflict. And speaking of those,

I feel very confident in saying that this is the first time anyone's ever really had something worth doing with Oswald's mother as a character in her own right and not just a source of anguish for Penguin (Gotham was almost onto something with Gertrude, but not nearly enough). When it comes to Penguin origin stories, my favorite's always been the Pre-Crisis one, where he's poor and bullied but happy with his mom and birds until she dies and the government seizes everything he has, which doesn't necessarily involve her much. But here? Francine Cobb is a real character in what little time we get to know her, and what a character she is. We quickly understand the role she's playing in Oz's life, not just as his mom and person he loves and strives to protect, but the person who's sculpting him into the man he's going to become.

She is vulnerable and she does need meds and she's not quite all there, and Penguin's need to care for her is visible in other actions of his. But then they turn it around by showing how strong and demanding she is, how she is fiercely ambitious and pushing him to be something he would otherwise not be, how much she loves him and sees greatness in him. She knows he's a people pleaser, she knows how to push his buttons, and she wants him to be more, so of course he's going to be more, because he lives to please his mom.

Related to this is this absolute bullseye of a summation of The Penguin, that Lauren LeFranc delivered in the podcast: "Perhaps his greatest fear is that love is transactional. And that yet, everything he does, every decision he makes, is as if that's true. As if "love is transactional" is a truth he abides by". Oswald's conception of power is being loved and revered like Rex Calabrese, and the love he wants most in all the world is the one from his mother. So in turn this, and all extensions of it, drive him to greater and darker lengths.

He doesn't have that ambition quite down yet, it's his mom that does. She who's pushing him to take over the city and not just be a guy scraping by for survival. He's smart and ambitious and extremely good at slipping out of trouble, but she's pushing him to be the guy who will be taking the city by the horns because that's what he has to be for their sake. Her legacy to her son is nurturing him having that dog in him that will make him the supervillain who picks fights with Vengeance. She is the force that's turning Oswald into The Goddamn Penguin and I can't wait to see how she's developed.

Of course he reprimands Victor in that scene for lacking ambition, who do you think he gets it from?

Really love what they've done with Sal Maroni in here so far. I like adaptations that take these throwaway Batman backstory gangsters and make something out of them, in this case, with Clancy Brown lending his power and voice and reputation as The Grand Boss of Villainy to play the last Respectable Gangster of Gotham, this intimidating principled old tiger who's inversely proportional to how much of a petty and scummy piece of shit Carmine Falcone was. Extremely a guy I'd want to see playing a hand in the creation of Two-Face. Just as crucial is the fact that he is the one who gets the most effortlessly outplayed by Oz here, because this is The Penguin Show: no room for traditional or respectable gangsters anymore, their purpose is to be crapped all over by our wacko birdman.

There's a lot about this that re-contextualizes his behavior in The Batman and the one I'm gonna point out is: even though he can't be sure his plan didn't completely go to shit, he is still keeping his wits and not being terribly scared about being beaten up and tortured and staring down the scariest Falcone with a gun shoved in his throat. But he craps his pants at the sight of the Batmobile. He gets pain, he gets indignity, but he doesn't get Vengeance, what kind of sick freak would come up with the stuff that guy does. A gun in his mouth and Falcone torture is just Tuesday, but a car that wants to eat his soul is some psycho shit he's just not ready to deal with.

It is the delicious tasty fucking irony that Oswald thinks Vengeance is this weird freak who doesn't play or bend to any rules and is here to fuck up everything, just like the madman who flooded the city, and thinks of himself in turn as a justifiable guy standing for the respectable old-fashioned empathetic way of doing things, instead of the exact same thing that Riddler and Batman are. Only Sofia gets what he really is, the same thing as her, and that's why she is the arch-enemy / the biggest thing he's gotta defeat in life for now.

God, how fucking PERFECT it is that he gets caught and tortured because he, after stabbing out a man's eye and causing him to get run over by a schoolbus, stops to wave at the kids in that schoolbus while covered in blood. Just the Rex Calabrese of it all, the self-image, this guy who's both a mean nasty son of a bitch and also a real bleeding heart softie and in ways that ruin his life and allow him to slip and wriggle his way out of shit he has no right to, as demonstrated by the finale.

Thinking about Sofia chastizing Oz saying he thinks she is a toy to play with, while rattling off the ways in which she owns him and everything he has, all the ridiculous little accessories her daddy let him play him, and he in turn is a ridiculous little accessory for the family she is twisting until it breaks. Perfect fucking villain for him. Can't wait to see how badly these two are gonna burn Gotham.

I knew deep in my heart that all I wanted out of a Penguin show, the thing that I simply needed to have in it, was Penguin pulling a heist set-up in advance, and it fucking delivered. He doesn't even complain at Victor for being late, because if anything, getting captured and tortured while the car crashed was even better for him. No, he complains at Victor for not being sufficiently gruesome with the body. See, unlike other cowardly anti-hero reinventions of Bat-villains, the show never wants you to forget that Oz is a weird freak and a disgusting piece of shit, even if he is a very likeable and even aspirational one. Only by the most random stroke of fate it wasn't Victor that he fed to the wolves at that moment, that he sees himself in the kid isn't exactly ensuring that he's gonna make out of this in one piece.

Mr. Vengeance gets Nirvana, and Mr. Boniface gets Dolly Parton, perfect credits.

In conclusion: Out of everything they could have done following the thunderous success of The Batman and it's ensuing influence over the DCU, out of all the offers Reeves must have gotten to helm their new universe after delivering a megahit reinvention of their breadwinner blockbuster character, Matt Reeves went "Nah, I listened to my crew, and what we really want to do is 8 hours of television about the waddling freak who's in my movie for 10 minutes", and he and his crew deserve the world for that. I dreamed as a kid of getting to make a big Penguin story or show, a wild impossible idea that would never actually happen, and now it's here and it's better than anything I'd ever imagined.

I'm fit to burst with joy and riding a high of no longer having to hunt for scraps and washing away decades of put-downs for the character and enjoying a Penguin renaissance like one I never imagined happening. I am extremely not an unbiased reviewer here, this show rules and I've waited for it since I was a kid and it's here, drink it the fuck in cause it's only the beginning.

[snoozyjoosi]

Homicipher Episode 1 Guide

If you want the additional 2 rows/alternate routes of Episode 1, skip down to big red text.

I included the scenes of the correct storyline of Episode 1 which is may be unnecessary as they are easy to get through with minor trial and error, but I still included them.

Episode 2 Guide - https://www.tumblr.com/snoozyjoosi/766185589671444480/homicipher-episode-2-guide

Episode 3 Guide - https://www.tumblr.com/snoozyjoosi/766219102165598208/homicipher-episode-3-guide?source=share

Proceed down below the cut, scene order is from left to right and top to bottom.

Scene 1: Game starts, click on Mr Crawling

Scene 2-3: Interact with Mr Hood as per usual and leave through the door

Scene 4: Do not go down the doorless pathway on the right as it would result in death (unless you leave) and no progression.

The closed door on the right is where you’ll meet Mr Gap who asks to take your heart (in a very literal sense unfortunately), close the door on him or don’t open it at all (however I recommend that you do open it so you can get some words to translate).

Go to door on the left.

Scene 5: Enter the room after moving junk out the way and meet Mr Chopped.

Scene 6: You have the choice between either picking up the little guy or leaving him there.

Scene 7: This is the result of you leaving Mr Chopped and going downstairs without him, getting kidnapped and experimented on by Mr Silvair which is Ending 01 - Research (I personally do not mind being tortured by him.)

Scene 8: This is the result of picking up Mr Chopped and will progress the game further on.

Scene 9: A little language lesson with Mr Silvair and Mr Chopped, afterwards go into the door at the back on the room.

Scene 10: Now inside Mr Silvair’s torture room/lab, collect some more words if you’d like, then leave the torture room and exit Mr Silvair’s base.

Scene 11: Go up stairs, Mr Silvair bids you farewell, and continue on your journey.

Scene 12: There’s two ways to go to, and regardless of which side you pick it would result in the same outcome of being alarmed by a mysterious presence and running to the dark left side. With the two rectangular windows on the wall, the right one is empty while the left one has Mr Gap who cannot do anything with the bars in the way (haha loser), which you can use to collect more words.

Scene 13: Once went into the dark left side, you can grab a crowbar and hide or hide without any weapon behind the wall.

Scene 14: Mr Crawling pops outta nowhere in your hiding space.

Scene 15: It’s when you beat him in the face with a crowbar that you picked up before hiding.

Scene 16: Regardless whether or not you grabbed the weapon beforehand (you’ll still get it anyways) and hit Mr Crawling, you leave the room and head out to the hallway over to where the original red glowing right side is. Mr Crawling accompanies you.

Scene 17: You see the blood splatter on the floor, then sense someone approaching.

Scene 18: Mr Crawling alerts you of danger, talk to him and he’ll push you down to the ground and get on top of you (ykyk) to protect you. Get angry and push him instead then he’ll leave you to your death (understandable have a nice day) and you’ll get killed by Mr Scarletella.

Scene 19 and 20: Once Mr Scarletta leaves, you and Mr Crawling progress on the journey.

Episode 1 ends here.

For the additional alternative route/s of Episode 1:

(Note: To unlock this alternate route you must complete the main storyline first all the way to episode 5, so you cannot do this in a fresh save)

Scene 21: Start from Scene 1 and DO NOT click on Mr Crawling, wait for the time to run out. Then follow the arrows to Scene 22.

Scene 22: Keep following arrows. If you click on any characters you pass by, you will kill them.

Scene 23: Once you walked into a certain room (aka Mr Machete’s room) continue to walk and get stabbed by Mr Machete. Do not get up.

Scene 24: After staying down from Machete’s attack, you end up in a collapsed room with Mr Chopped inside who asks you to help him. Talk to him instead of killing him as that would lead to Ending 13 - And Then I Saw No One (this ending physically hurts me btw).

Scene 25: You chat with Chopped who tries to teach you more words. When the selection between two sentences comes up, it doesn’t matter which one you pick, Chopped will fall asleep.

Scene 26: As Chopped is resting, he talks some more and reminisces about Mr Silvair sadly, in which you pat him on the head (thankfully not killing him). He will then sadly complain that his hair is dirty and wants to go to the hair dresser.

Scene 27: There will be an earthquake/building collapse, but there’s a tunnel to exit through.

Scene 28: After climbing out of tunnel, just follow the arrow to the hairdresser’s room. This is the end of Mr Chopped’s Route.

Scene 29: Start from Scene 23, this time look up in time after being stabbed by Mr Machete which will result in getting killed by him which will end in Ending 12 - Sore Loser. However you can go beyond this ending for Scene 29 and 30.

Once gone beyond, you enter a fight with Mr Machete, make sure to click in time!

Scene 30: However despite hitting him in time, you will still end up losing, resulting in ‘Fight End’.

[vasquez-rocks]

in the spirit of "o'brien doesn't actually suffer the most, it's just that all his suffering takes place in special Suffering Episodes": a complete ranking of ds9 characters by how much they suffer

(including recurring guest stars but not villains. i don't care how much gul dukat suffers. he could get hit by a fucking bus for all i care!!) 1. kira nerys. undefeated galactic suffering champion. literally goes back in time to find out if her mom died in a concentration camp when she was a small child like she thought and somehow the answer she gets is, to her, EVEN WORSE THAN THAT. o'brien could never.

2. odo. lab experiment childhood, spends 5 seasons pining tragically for the station’s most eligible terrorist, seeks his family only to find out they're genocidal maniacs, every small innocent being he tries to parent either dies or runs away, he has to return to said family to end a war! odo suffers so much actually??

3. benjamin sisko. loses his wife, becomes an unwilling messiah, forced to leave his family (the most important thing), etc.

4. miles o'brien. ok fine sure he does suffer a lot. not like kira does tho!!

5. garak. most of his suffering is pre-show but that suffering is BAROQUE. and then daddy never tells him he loves him and he indirectly causes his mother’s death

6. nog. after 6 seasons of minimal suffering, our baby boy suffers a LOT

7. jake sisko. not counting "the visitor" (it was a different timeline!). if the show put Jake through any additional suffering, i would wail and cry. His primary sufferings are pre-show (mom's death) and end-of-show (dad is gone and can't say when he'll return), but they are significant. at least he has, and loves, a wonderful stepmom!

8. kassidy yates. SPEAKING OF. her primary suffering is going to jail for the standard federation prison sentence (6 months, which is also what garak got for attempted genocide!!!!!), but then also losing her beloved husband to the celestial temple like almost immediately after, which is kind of a lot

9. keiko o'brien. a lot of miles’ suffering is hers also, and also she gets possessed by a demon after spending the first few seasons trying to find a new fulfilling job despite her husband moving her, a botanist, to a barren space station on which all life withers

10. jadzia dax. happy-go-lucky sex worm who has never experienced a "problem" until gul dukat throws a death basketball at her at age 35, so idk it evens out

11. julian bashir. gets kidnapped a lot and has a backstory so angsty that it's hard to tell whether he's even technically the same person he once was. HOWEVER, he's a goofy lil sexual harasser which makes it very easy to overlook his suffering!

12. worf. virtually all of his suffering is his own fault and he universally responds to it by creating more suffering for his own perverse ends. however, he does get disgraced from his people (his fault), lose his wife (not his fault but also why was she the only person left on the station when she literally FLIES THE SHIP most of the time??), and refuses to ever have fun (his fault)

13. leeta. perky and happy. in a great marriage. loves her stepson! unionized her workplace! however she is not at the bottom of this list because she is (a) a child of the occupation and (b) has to put up with fuckin quark

14. ezri dax. contrary to her frequently expressed beliefs, many things are easy for ezri

15. quark. when he suffers it's hijinks

16. rom. rom's character development is entirely positive. he goes from being the put upon idiot brother to the self-actualized leader of his people who has a son who loves him and a beautiful wife. the worst thing that happens to him specifically is probably when he masturbates so hard he almost dies and even then the result is he becomes a hero to labor in both his world and ours. things go ludicrously well for him at every turn. he is the winner of ds9

[kneesheee]

50 Things to Know about the Disney-verse

1. Ursula and Maleficent are rivals so Uma and Mal being rivals also tracks.

2. The Evil Queen and Maleficent are rivals for Hades' affections and for the status of "The Evilest of Them All'.

3. The Evil Queen claims not to be Hades' girlfriend, but they just had "an interesting weekend" on Castaway Cay. And therefore, I headcanon that she is Hadie’s mom. Probably conceived sometime around Evie’s banishment.

4. In the Disney Villains: Top Secret Files, Maleficent is featured in her own section. According to the pieces of information provided, Maleficent's last name is Faery.

5. She was actually invited to Aurora's birth ceremony and that the invitation simply never got to her castle because she burnt the postman to death (believing him to be a trespasser) before he could deliver it.

6. Her dragon form also appeared in The Little Mermaid series episode "Heroes" as a sea dragon.

7. Captain Hook tried to charm her, only to be zapped away leaving behind his hook. Jafar also tried to woo her while they sat together, only to end up being literally burnt.

8. It was revealed in "A Christmas Cruella" that she did want a puppy before becoming her villainous self.

9. Cruella has a brother named Cecil and a niece named Ivy. However, Cecil is not Ivy's father, meaning that Cruella and Cecil must have another sibling (most likely a brother) who is Ivy's parent.

10. In 102 Dalmatians: Puppies to the Rescue, Cruella has set up a toy factory next to DeVil Manor. She seems to have tried online dating, where she has supposedly wed herself to Professor Farzboom, a meek professor who helps her make her toys. So there’s Carlos’ dad.

11. In "Max's Embarrassing Date", she went on a date with the Beast and asked if he came in a medium, which the Beast became annoyed of. After the Beast gets soaked with soup he was eating, Cruella is unhappy as she would have to get him dry-cleaned.

12. Walt Disney's early vision for The Rescuers revolved around the kidnapping of a polar bear from a city zoo; writers considered reusing Cruella as the main antagonist (presumably driven by her desire for the bear's fur).

13. The concept art of the film shows Cruella wearing an outfit made out of crocodile leather. Because The Rescuers was set more than a decade after 101 Dalmatians, Cruella was given a period-appropriate update. Aside from her '70s alligator-chic outfit, Cruella is accessorized with Sly and the Family Stone-style sunglasses. In other sketches, De Vil is depicted in bell-bottom pants and a pair of platforms. Other concept art showed Cruella driving a water vehicle similar to the one Medusa uses in the final film.

14. The Prince is usually known as Prince Charming, though some source material shows that his name is Henri, or Henry. However, he was never referred to by name anywhere in the film. Not even mentioned as "Prince Charming".

15. The story takes place roughly in June. In the movie, the sun rises slightly before 6:00 AM (in France), as it would within a few weeks of the summer solstice. Also, by this time, a pumpkin would have grown to 20–40 pounds.

16. The debate of the setting of Cinderella has always been a problem, but most people can agree it is French; however, there is a small amount of people who think it is Spanish because the female names end in "A" but that does not really cut it so deeper research shows that the thing on Anastasia's head is a peineta or headdress used in Spain along with formal attire also the French furnishings and the Spanish furnishings within the same time period are very similar in style.

17. Cinderella is the “oldest” princess in the official franchise being 19 while Snow White is the youngest being 14. Also, Snow White’s prince was suppose to be 18 according to Disney’s records.

18. In the third movie, Cinderella’s shoe size is mentioned to be a size 4½ in women's. According to Disney's Villains' Revenge, Snow White has smaller feet than Cinderella.

19. Cinderella was actually rich at the beginning, even before she married the prince. This was exempted, however, as she was forced to work as a servant.

20. In some stories, Cinderella's real name was Ella (short for Eleanor), and because she would always lie in cinders, her stepfamily would call her CinderElla. However, in the Disney film, "Cinderella" is truly her name by birth.

21. Cinderella's last name would likely have been Tremaine since her stepmother's name was Lady Tremaine unless Lady Tremaine kept her maiden name.

22. According to Disneystrology, Cinderella’s birthday is September 6.

23. According to the Disneystrology book, Snow White’s birthday would be on March 6.

24. Cinderella is magical. She has a special ability to empathize with animals, perceive what they say and communicate with them.

25. Melody is the very first human-merperson hybrid in history, making her birth a significant historic moment in both human and Atlantican history.

26.She is also not considered a canon descendant’s character and considered to be from an AU, but apparently, Beauty & The Beast, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and The Little Mermaid are considered to be happening roughly around the same time in the disney timeline.

26. Melody's bedroom is Ariel's guest room when she first took human form and stayed with Prince Eric, albeit recolored with brighter colors.

27. Contrary to popular belief, Jasmine's age has never been confirmed or even referenced in any of the Aladdin movies, television series, or other spinoff projects. In the original film, the Sultan declares that Jasmine must be married "by her next birthday", but never specifies how old she will become on said birthday.

28. An early story concept for the original film had the Sultan saying, "Jasmine, the law says you must be married by your sixteenth birthday.", which would have made her fifteen years old. This concept was scrapped when Jeffrey Katzenberg became worried about sending the wrong message regarding the idea that fifteen year old girls can get married. Thus, the line was changed to "married to a prince by your next birthday.", leaving Jasmine's canonical age unknown.

29. One of the Disney Princess magazines has a story about two of Jasmine's cousins named Farah and Nadine. Whether they are considered canon is unknown.

30. Although the exact date is not clear, Jasmine's birthday is in late January or early February. This is because when Aladdin and Jasmine fly on the magic carpet, Chinese New Year is being celebrated over in China. This holiday can fall anywhere from January 21 to February 20.

31. She also has another cousin named Sharma who teaches at The Royal Academy.

32. Nasira is the better sorcerer between her and her twin brother, Jafar.

33. According to Disneystrology, Tiana’s birthday would be on December 25, Christmas Day.

34. The trailer implies that Gaston may have been aware of the Beast's curse, and had ulterior motives besides wanting Belle as his wife for attempting to kill the Beast, as the trailer described him as being "one man who wants to keep the spell alive," although it is unconfirmed whether this was the case in the film itself.

35. Despite various concept materials, as listed above, give Gaston the surname of LeGume, the Bimbettes during the song of "Belle" refer to Gaston as "Monsieur Gaston" and Belle in the reprise twice sarcastically refers to herself as "Madame Gaston" suggesting that Gaston is his surname in the final version.

36. The Bimbettes (individual names Claudette, Laurette, and Paulette) are blonde identical triplets who fawn over Gaston. They are inspired by Belle's sisters from the original Beauty and the Beast fairy tale.

37. They are the first Disney characters to possess green eyes without being villains

38. These girls worked their asses off in the comics to get Gaston to notice them. 😩

39. Its implied in one comic that Belle and Gaston were friends when they were children.

40. Ironically, despite Belle being considered by the village to be the most beautiful woman in the village, Laurette once disguised herself as Belle flawlessly enough to fool Gaston initially, which conflicted with the claim that Belle's looks had no parallel.

41. Even though he is referred to as a prince in the opening, none of the characters directly refer to him by that title. In addition, the first draft for Woolverton's take of the film indicated that the Beast was intended to be a duke instead of a prince.

42. According to the first stained-glass window featured in the film's opening sequence, Adam’s family motto is "vincit qui se vincit" (meaning "The winner is who wins himself").

42. Though the Beast's official age is not mentioned in the movie, it is strongly indicated by the narrator's statement that the rose "would bloom until his 21st year." As the rose has already begun to wilt by the time Belle arrives at the castle, it is very likely that the Beast is 20 years (i.e. on their 21st year) of age by this point.

43. In authorized supplementary comics, most notably The New Adventures of Beauty and the Beast, the Prince is never shown as being older than a preteen when he's shown as a human; moreover, the palace staff all refer to his pre-curse self as "a young boy" or "child". Two individual comics show that the Prince was originally a few years older than Chip, who didn't age during the curse, and shows him as being a couple of years older than Belle herself. The comics also show that the Prince has had a few run-ins with the disguised Enchantress, meaning that he'd still be a preteen when he was cursed.

44. Despite her slim figure, Belle seems to have considerable strength. She may have lifted the Beast, as evidenced by the Beast being placed onto Philippe's back, although this was never shown on-screen. Later on, she was able to pull the Beast up onto a balcony.

45. Belle is currently the only official Disney Princess to have hazel eyes.

46. In the beginning of the original 1989 storyline, found on the Diamond Edition DVD, Belle's birthday is celebrated, and the cake reads "Happy 17th Birthday Belle", providing evidence that she is 17 in the movie, or at least that she was originally planned to be 17.

47. Contrary to popular belief, it's not made clear whether Belle was actually born a peasant, as she implies that she wasn't born in her home village in the opening song, but rather moved there. In addition, her owning books at her cottage implied that she is, or at least was, considerably wealthy (as back in the time period of the film, books were considerably expensive).

48. In the musical, specifically the song "No Matter What" one of the lyrics had Maurice stating "You are your mother's daughter; therefore you are class ... crème de la crème", implying that Belle was part of the social upper class. This was also supported by Belle having a portrait of her and her mom in the Enchanted Tales of Belle attraction.

49. In earlier drafts, Aladdin had three human friends named Babkak, Omar, and Kassim.

50. In the episode "Two to Tangle", it's revealed that Aladdin has unexplored magic powers hidden within his soul. This may possibly be a link to him being "The Diamond In The Rough".

[mystery0028]

Frieren Timeline/Pacing

(Manga Spoilers at the very bottom)

Rewatching Frieren made me realize just how much thought the writer put into the pacing and timeline.

It feels like a slow-paced anime, but also time passes by really quick? Like the first episode literally shows a 50 year time skip? But is this really true?

50 years, 20 years, 4 years, 2 years, 6 months, about a year, around another year, 6 months,(Story Starts), 6 months, 2 months, 3-4 months.

Notice anything?

These are the timeskips/timelapses in the timeline. And as Frieren learns more about humans and learns to appreciate the present, the gaps get smaller and smaller, with the everyday being elaborated on more.

Now maybe that's not on purpose, but it certainly seems like it is. The thought and care to create such a subtle way to show Frieren's growth and understanding and appreciation of the NOW - all the while still reminding us of how old she is and how these years really aren't all that long to her in the grand scheme of things? Beautiful.

Expanded Timeline Given Below:

The first episode (1st manga chapter) starts with first a 50 year timelapse (Himmel dies at the end of this), and then a 20 year timeskip, before we end with Frieren deciding to stay with Heiter to translate a grimoire even though it could take 5 or 6 years (barely any time at all for Frieren- over a 1000 yr old elf)

The next episode (chapter-2) starts after a 4 year timelapse (24 years after Himmel's death) to reach a point where we see Fern's progress on learning magic and also the deterioration of Heiter's health. Heiter dies and then there is a 2 year timeskip (26 years after Himmel's death) until we come across our first 'quest' (chapter-3) that we see Frieren and Fern undertake - the search for the blue moon weed flowers. There is a 6 month timelapse before Fern decides 'this is taking too long' and tells Frieren that she thinks its time to pack up and move on - they end up finding the blue mood weed right after that conversation.

The third episode (chapters-4 and 5) is set another year later (27 years after Himmel's death), and the 4th episode a year after that (28 years after Himmel's death) We spend 6 months of this year cleaning up a ship wreck (Episode 4, Chapter - 6)

This is where the present day storyline properly starts - 28 years after Himmel's death -with our party finding out about Aureole (Episode 4, Chapter-7) and picking up another member (Stark) (Episode-6, Chapter-10/11) as they head north.

After that its all small timeskips as we join the party on their 'quests' as they head north.

The next biggest one is when they are stuck in a blizzard for 6 months near the Schwer mountain range and so cannot move ahead. This is in the 2nd half of episode 11 (Chapter-24).

After this timeskip we find out it is now 29 years since Himmel died.

Again small timeskips (in days or weeks - normal for an anime) as we get to Ausserst (during which we meet Sein, spend a few weeks in his village, travel a bit, and then get stuck in a village for a month due to a snow storm - no major time skips here by the way), then 2 months timeskip between reaching Ausserst and writing the First Class Mage exam. (Episode 18 and Chapter 37).

The anime ends after the mage exam alongside Chapter- 60 of the manga. Keep in mind this is still 29 years since Himmel's died.

**Manga Spoilers Ahead**

We don't hit 30 years from Himmel's death until Chapter 70, and 31 years until Chapter - 105. There's a timeskip of a few months where they live outside Weiss with Denken, as Frieren analyzes a curse, and they deal with defeating a demon (Macht Arc - Chapter- 81 to 104), but you get the point.

The manga currently is on 31 years after Himmel's death. (Chapter-134 is the latest as of writing this)

-1.9.2024

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Riz Gukgak Junior Year Playlist: side A

Heres the first side of the Junior Year Riz Playlist and the explanations down below, Spoilers for Episodes 1-10 in FHJY

Genres: Alternative, Anti Folk, Math Rock, Punk

1. Photosynthesis, They Might Be Giants

Photosynthesis does not involve a camera Or a synthesizer Although that's interesting, too Photosynthesis is how plants take in light From the sun and turn it into energy It's actually a thing on which most life depends Here on the planet Earth

GOD so when I'm not making these playlists I'm and environmental educator and when Brian was like "we're the photosythe-KIDS!" i nearly lost it. Gotta let this little nerdy kid have at least one nerd song as a treat to me

2. Dissonance, AJJ

My feet planted in different realities I've been doing lots of parallel planning and asking Does morals exist anymore? Wondering if society's all broken down yet I should probably know I should probably know I should probably grow some more plants in the window I should probably try I should probably try I should probably try to find a cure for this dissonance

One of the things I relate to Riz about the most is the way in which he is so hungry for explanation and, specifically problem solving. When they get dropped right back into normal teen life after having just saved the world and "cracked the case", Riz had to really switch into school mode fast (with the whole paying for college thing)

3. Stress, Jim's Big Ego

I'm addicted to stress That's the way that I get things done If I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long And I hang around like a bum I think I'm going nowhere, and that makes me nervous Everybody's out to get me, but I feel all right

Obsessed with the way that, if Brennan didn't let Riz take on the stress of other people in the party, he would literally be so normal about the downtime system. God help him and his nervous system.

4. Travelers Insurance, Their/They're/There

After all that we've done, You still skipped out on the beat of a different drum. Blurring the lines between failure and fortune

it's getting at Riz supporting so many people in his party, taking on their stress, organizing their extracurriculars, and literally tutoring them on subjects he doesn't know about. And they're definitely trying to keep everything under control, but sometimes it feels like when they mess up or make bad choices, it's Riz who has to take the L

5. Pitch Black, Heart Attack Man

Rock bottom smile bares its rotting teeth again Acts like there's nothing wrong and they're still my closest friend Romanticize the fondest memories and good times And hope that I forget the rest Rock bottom's grinning as it's creeping up again Dust off the depths and make me wish that I was dead again Hold out your hand to me Take me to a place in hell where Having self-esteem seems selfish and unhealthy

God the way that in Ep. 10 after Riz had that talk with his mom about everything he was just so despondent the rest of the episode about everything that was happening, and actually thinking about the toll his friendships were taking on him 💀

6. An Antidote for Strychnine, The Mountain Goats

Dig down amongst my calculations Check my maps Up there on the surface Everybody's gettin' ready for the bloodbath Stem the tide, stem the tide They're calling down for reinforcements Tryin' to find An antidote for strychnine Tryin' to find An antidote for strychnine

This has always and forever been such a Riz song for me and I feel like it really fits the tone of Riz looking into the soil, into lucy's death, into eventually the loam farm, reluctantly telling his mom about it. The moment when he thinks that something like what happened to Yolanda could happen to his mother and he gets really serious about it. AHHHHHH Something something isolation, something something taking on dangerous tasks by yourself just to protect the ones you love

[voiceless-people]

MY TOP 10 WARRIOR CAT MAPS 🗣🗣🗣🗣💥💥💥💥

These are all just my opinion, and I don't think any of these maps are "better" than the other, they just have personal meaning to me.

These are in order from highest to lowest!

1 Rut. Come on. Rut is the map ever. Without fail I will start tearing up when I watch it, I cried the first time. Such incredible art with such an empowering song. It's a great watch for when you're feeling low.

2 Blame walked so that Rut could run. This map meant so much to me when it came out- and it got me through rough times. I know every part and the song by heart. Such a lovely message.

3 King and lionheart. This map was MY SHIT back in elementary school. I hadn't even read arc 2 of warriors at the time, and this map does the story so much better than the actual books. Also, the pinned comment about Squirrelflight is a good read.

4 Buy the stars!!! How I found out about MARINA!!! This is one of the most nostalgic maps ever. What do you mean it's almost a decade old. This map is iconic Hollyleaf propaganda. Also this song needs to be more popular.

5 Poor George. This song seriously goes hard. The buildup is so intense and crashes down on you as the singer sobs by themself at the end. Yellowfangs struggle oml. Raggedstars death is done so well.

6 Warriors reprise. This map kicks ass. SSS intro? Hell yeah. I cheered during the buy the stars segment. Every part is so distinct and the animation is wonderful. I love so many of these maps.

7 Millhaven. I knew about this song long before the map was even announced, and I thought it was so cool that this (semi)obscure polish song was in a warriors map. The color palette is so dreary yet fitting, and has a nice buildup as the story goes on.

8 Burn him down. While the map is relatively short, it tells Ashfurs story in a unique almost episodic manner. A very unique song too. Little Lionpaw hopping from paw to paw is lowkey peak.

9 Roxanne. Come on, you knew this would be here. This map changed everyones brain chemistry and you know it. So iconic. WHYYYYYY DOES MY HEAAAAAART CRYYYYYY.. it's this low down for a reason tho.

10 Mama we all go to hell. I DON'T LIKE DRAKINATOR. I think they should've stayed off YouTube, but it's undeniably true that this map influenced a lot of ppl. This was one of the first few maps I really saw, and damn it hit like a truck. It's at the bottom because. Drakinator sucks.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Everything moves honestly should've placed on the list, but unfortunately the map itself doesn't mean much to me on a personal level.

Mama told me This is one of my favorite mother mother songs! The fall theming is so nice.

Kids again okay so. This map is my guilty pleasure. I know literally nothing about these cats outside of this map because I refuse to read dawn of the clans. I discovered the song via this map and now it is THE song I associate with my favorite ship ever.

Beautiful another nostalgic one. I just like it a lot lol

Cowboy Dan I'm not really sure what cheetah z did but I think they're controversial?? Either way I love this fucking song. The cloudy rain part? Immaculate vibes.

[snapscube]

i trust your opinions very much so i have an important question: how would you rank all six seasons of better call saul?

Oh god this is such a difficult thing to do but my gut take is, from highest to lowest (of course keeping in mind that even the lowest tier is still 10/10 filmmaking and one of my favorite shows of all time):

Season 3 - Easily the show at its best imo. I feel like I maybe go against the grain ever so slightly when I say that I enjoy the first half of this show ever so slightly more than the back half, and it really loses something special when Michael McKean as Chuck leaves despite having enough interesting stories to go the rest of the way. Jimmy's relationship with Chuck is the infinitely compelling centerpiece of his character that quite literally changes everything that came before and that would come after. not to mention this is the season that gave us Chicanery, which is my favorite episode of the show and one of my favorite episodes of television ever.

Season 5 - though I think S6 ends up being an intensely compelling finale overall, I think the more straightforward direct descent into darkness that the characters experience in this season ends up being JUST A TAD more potent for me. Especially once you reach the end and see where Kim lands and how that affects Jimmy internally. The payoff is great, but there's something about the impending potential for disaster that this season sets up that really made it stick with me.

Season 2 - This season gave us the inflatable man montage. I need say no more.

Season 4 - This season gave us the something stupid montage. I need say no more.... but I will. It was also the introduction of Lalo, a character I honestly don't know if I fully believed we would see until it happened. Fucking legendary piece of lore building.

Season 1 - Again, I think Jimmy's relationship with Chuck is THE SINGLE MOST INTERESTING thing this show ever added to the character of Saul Goodman. This season is an extremely worthwhile buildup to understanding that relationship fully, and though some complain it's too much of a slow burn I think it's perfectly paced. This and Season 2 give us the "early years Saul Goodman" show that the premise implies, but has just enough tension boiling underneath the surface to lead us into what the show REALLY is come Season 3 onward.

Season 6 - ...okay I KNOW HOW THIS LOOKS. I honestly wasn't expecting Season 6 to be at the bottom of this list because I REALLY LOVE Season 6. I think it's just because I've watched the other seasons so, so, so many times so they just really mean a lot to me, and I still only have one watch of S6 under my belt. I gotta rewatch it soon cause there is so much to love about the way this show wraps up. Again, I have to stress: bottom of a Better Call Saul tier list is still S+ filmmaking.

I fucking love this show

[theclearblue]

Hi

Can you rank the Strawhats by most liked to least? Or at least ramble about their characters?

See ya, love u

Hiiii Empa I can always gush about one piece thank you <3 (also im assuming this is my own personal ranking ur asking for and not who i think is most popular in the fandom lol) My ranking changes a lot to be fair and literally love all of them soooo much but currently:

10. Jinbe

He might be at the bottom of my list but I literally cried tears of joy when he joined the strawhats so that's the level we're operating on when I say how much I love all of them. Really the only reason he's on the bottom is because he's had the least amount of time on the crew, but literally one of the coolest characters ever and Oda teasing for YEARS of him joining the crew and him finally getting to!!!! Amazing!!!! Can't wait to see more of him as the series goes on I've already loved his role in Wano and Egghead it's been a treat.

9. Franky

Guy of all time. I WISH Oda gave him more screentime because he's literally so cool!!!!! One of the funniest characters and that is not appreciated enough, has such a good introduction/backstory in Water 7, his relationship with Robin is literally everything to me, and when he does get screentime!!! I am seated!!! People need to love Franky more >:(

8. Chopper

MY SOOOONNNNN I would die for him. His story line about being a monster and coming to embrace it because the strawhats literally love and embrace him as he is, I will cry about it if I think about it for more than two minutes. I felt that he didn't get as many opportunities to shine in post timeskip and then the Wano arc happened!!!! Such a good arc for him and how essential he was to the overall success and how proud everyone was of him!!!!! And how he has full control over his big monster form and utilizes it to help people! Literally love him so much GOD.

7. Usopp

Can u believe there was a time in my life where I didn't like Usopp? Insanity. To be fair his introduction arc is unfortunately the weakest in the series for me, I found him annoying in the beginning. But Usopp is so cool because he is a regular guy, and yet he still overcomes SO much. A lot of speculation that the next arc of One Piece will be HIS arc and I really hope that's the case because every time he gets a chance to shine is some of the times when One Piece is at it's absolute best.

6. Nami

Literally girl of all time I'm so obsessed with her. I know people hate how women are drawn in One Piece but it's honestly made up for me by the fact that almost all the women have such incredible and nuanced writing, and I think how good of a writer Oda is really shines in how he writes Nami. Consistently one of the most interesting and fun characters in the whole series, and the first character to really get the spotlight and people still talk about it as a highlight of the series 20+ years later. No one is doing it like her!!

5. Brook

When Brook was introduced I was not thrilled to get ANOTHER crew member, especially cause it was a dumb talking skeleton, and that seemed just like a gag character. And then 40 episodes later I was literally sobbing over his backstory and character and he's such a good addition to the crew. He also hangs out a little bit more in the background but he's still doing SO MUCH in the background that you can't help paying attention to him. So dorky but also just hits people with profound wisdom every once in awhile?! Brook rocks so hard.

4. Luffy

I never really know where to put Luffy in my ranking, because really he's number one as well (as are really the next three as well, they change in ranking too much for a definitive number one). The perfect protagonist and how he helps people and his own personal development has literally changed me. I never get tired of him, I never find him boring, and he's such a major reason as to why people have stuck around to see this story unfold for 25 years now. He's the character I really don't now how to put into words how much I love him, he's just bigger than life in so many ways.

3. Zoro

He captured my heart at the very beginning and never let go, which is funny cause I thought I would hate him LMAO. Literally the coolest character while also being the absolute silliest, he never fails to make me laugh from his dumbassery. And hes such a simple character with simple motivations, but there's so much to pick apart at the same time somehow. i feel like his words hold so much weight when he's being serious, and even though he's a simple character it doesn't always make him easy to understand unless you REALLY dive into his character. Literally never mad to see him get screentime, I love him so much he was my first favorite character in the series <3

2. Robin

ROOOBBBBIIIINNNN I LOVE HEEEERRRRR. Again was kinda skeptical about why she was joining the crew and not Vivi, but Oda has never let me down when adding a new member to the strawhats, and her story is so great to watch, especially going back with more context and everything she says makes so much sense. I mean her fully becoming a member of the crew is still a series highlight, and I also really like the moments where she relies on the crew and they rely on her and the TRUST!!!! THE LOVE!!!!! Also her sense of humor is so underrated she cracks me up so much I love that she shares a brain cell with Luffy and is so morbid lmao

Sanji

I hate him. His eyebrows are stupid. He acts like an idiot all of the time. There are several instances where he needs to be put in horny jail. Obnoxious, stupid, bratty, and people look at me with disgust when I say Sanji is my favorite character and that I'm insane about him. Oh it's so bad. The way he shows love, how he's a bratty kid with a temper yet also the kindest strawhat, the way he's like a leashed rabid dog but he attached the leash to himself, the way he has so many moments of self sacrifice throughout the series and it's acknowledged as a problem 20 years after he's introduced as a character. He's mentally strong for the ones he loves yet doesn't see any worth in himself. The way his arc centers on blood vs found family. Him being scared of becoming as monstrous as his family. AHHHHHHHHH I HATE HIM I HATE HIM HE MAKES ME INSANE. Anyways that's my favorite character.

[inexplicablymine]

Soon to be YOUR WIP Wednesday

Instead of sharing my own work this week, I’m sharing the 10 prompts I just submitted to the @halloweenhuh Fanworks Fest.

YOU YES YOU can go claim one of these prompts and write to your hearts content, I highly encourage it ;)

Styled as actual summaries instead of outlines because I think it’s fun and a more creative way to make the story match… BEHOLD

1. The one with sugary treats

“I swear to god if you have just dyed everybody’s buttercream black with your stupid charcoal paste I will end you.”

“You can try sweetheart but we all know I’ll come out on top.”

Cupcakes, cakes, and all things sweet, welcome to the Halloween episode of “Can You Bake It” featuring our favorite contestants in their most challenging week yet.

2. The one where they are cowboys

All Alex can really think about is the way Henry’s ass looks in those jeans, how his cowboy boots fit, and the way the Stetson he is wearing sits just right on his head.

Cowboys for Halloween was a great idea.

3. The one where they grow up together

5 Times they went in a group costume for Halloween growing up and 1 time Henry and Alex went in a couples costume

4. The one with the masquerade

Maybe there is something in the Hallow’s Eve punch, maybe there is something in the way that dapper stranger moves across the ballroom, maybe it is the fact that everyone is masked, maybe it is the fact that there hasn’t been a ball this grand in decades, regardless someone has caught his attention and Alexander, well, he never said he had the patience of a saint.

5. The one where it’s not all fun and games… or maybe it is

Come in costume they said. It would be a fun party they said. Tell that to the fact that he is stranded with his arch nemesis, blindfolded, on the side of the road, shirtless, soaked in something he isn’t even sure what to name.

Alex would think that would be enough for one evening, but Henry kissed him only moments ago and he isn’t sure if he is more mad at Henry, or himself for liking it.

Halloween is about to be one wild night.

6. The one where I insert the ghostbusters theme here

Alex did NOT want to be living with a ghost, but he wasn’t all too upset about the hot ghostbuster that he kept getting to call over to the house.

7. The one with Arthur’s world famous Halloween party

Meeting the parents wasn’t supposed to be nerve wracking, but Arthur Fox was literally James Bond, and Alex might throw a New Years Bash in Texas for his mother’s Governor’s ball every year, but Arthur’s Halloween parties are legendary.

8. The one where it’s shipping season and the suitors get competitive

“Fall Ball, there is no earthly antiquated reason why this kingdom still does something so ghastly”

“You want to ask Alexander don’t you?” Pez asks with a raised eyebrow

“Just me and everyone else,” Henry sighs out.

In an event rivaling the Spring Fling, the Fall Ball was one of the most prime positions during suitors season to make a move. Everyone wants Alexander’s hand, so Henry must work extra hard to capture his heart.

9. The one where Alex is a ghost courier

Alex looks down at his note again and shakes his head. Trying out the Ouija board with Nora had been a mistake. Now he was on some convoluted journey to tell a bunch of people a ghosts last wishes. The laundry list of names is long, but near the bottom there is one that makes his heart flip over in his chest, why in the world would a disembodied voice want to talk with Henry?.

10. The one where they are making spooky outfits for the Met Gala

“I think you might have bitten off more than you can chew.”

“I’ll bite you.”

“I mean I wouldn’t be opposed.”

The Met Gala Costuming Institute has named this years theme as “The Haunting.” It might only be tipping into fall but the design houses are already in full swing. Too bad fashion’s best and brightest don’t get along… or do they?

You can claim one of my prompts (or one of the other amazing 61 prompts) here and go follow along @halloweenhuh for some fandom fun!

[cf56]

Season 3 segment names solved

Alright, let me get to the bottom of all of these segment names once and for all. Literally, I have figured out almost every single segment name for the season, with near 100% certainty. This post will contain the biggest

SPOILERS

I've ever posted on this blog.

(It’s not really that spoilery, though, just the same thing you’ll see when you log into Hulu to watch season 3. Episode descriptions and titles.)

I went digging myself on ui.eidr.org, where many of the leaks originally came from. I was able to match the episode titles with the descriptions we now have of the episodes to definitively say which is which.

I would like to credit this ask for prodding me to look deeper into this.

Episode 1 is "Previously On/Season 3 & WB/How to Friendship"

Previously On will likely be a lead-in to Season 3 & WB, recapping what happened in the season 2 finale.

Episode 2 is "Soda-pressed/A Starbox is Born/Royal Flush"

I know this because the title "Royal Flush" matches up with the description of "Brain plans to rig a high stakes poker game to become the new Kind of England". Now look at the first description for this episode. That's right, the influencer episode is not "Teeniacs." It's "Soda-Pressed." I was reluctant all along to say for sure that the teen influencer episode was actually "Teeniacs", and it turns out I was right to be skeptical.

Episode 3 is "Planet Warner/Talladega Mice: The Ballad of Pinky Brainy/D.I.WHY?"

So "Planet Warner" has nothing to do with aliens or Warner creatures and is actually the segment about a day on the Warner Bros. lot.

Episode 4 is probably "Fantasy - Cold Open"/"Über Nachtmare"/possibly more

There are only 9 complete episode titles listed out of 10 for the season, so I had to piece this one together out of random segment names that didn't have a home in any other episode title. This one has by far the most uncertainty. "Über Nachtmare" is the segment with Scratchy and Wakko in the car together.

Episode 5 is probably "Teeniacs/Starbox & Cindy: Dog Days/Groundmouse Day Part One"

Episodes 4 and 5 have no descriptions. I put this episode here through the process of elimination, and because it stands to reason that "Groundmouse Day Part One" would be in the episode immediately before "Groundmouse Day Part Two"/"Groundmouse Day Again". This episode could just as well be episode 4, though.

"Teeniacs" actually probably is the one with older Dot, which is what I thought in the beginning, but we got led astray. Full circle speculation.

Episode 6 is "Animaliens/Murder Pals (Part 1)/Groundmouse Day Again/Murder Pals (Part 2)/The Island of Dr. Warneau/Murder Pals (Part 3)"

This one has two different titles on EIDR, with the biggest difference being that "Groundmouse Day Again" was alternatively called "Groundmouse Day Part Two". I have no idea what Murder Pals is.

Episode 7 is "The Wrath of Khan/Lawn in Sixty Seconds/All's Fair in Love and Door"

Don't have much to say about this one. I did guess that "All's Fair in Love and Door" was the PATB alternate reality one, based on the trailer clips.

Episode 8 is probably "WARnerGAMES/Starbox & Cindy: Bedtime/WARnerGAMES 2/Crumbly's Moment"

This one is weird. There are two episode titles with "Starbox & Cindy: Bedtime" in the middle. The other one is "Ready Warner One: Part One/Starbox & Cindy: Bedtime/Ready Warner One: Part Two". The "Ready Warner One" title was created months before the "WarnerGames" title, so my theory is that "Ready Warner One" was recently renamed to "WarnerGames".

Episode 9 is "How the Brain Thieved Christmas Part One/Santamaniacs/How the Brain Thieved Christmas Part Two"

Looks like a fun Christmas episode. I find it interesting that Brain is "desperately" trying to take over the world. Is he realizing his time is running out, or just sick of all the failure?

Episode 10 is "International Mouse of Mystery/Aliens Resurrected/Joe/The Stickening/Slappy's Return/Everyday Safety: Giant Adirondack Chair"

The global warming segment is "Aliens Resurrected" or "Joe", and it does sound like aliens are threatening to destroy Earth unless Yakko convinces them otherwise with a song. Animaniacs ends with "Everyday Safety: Giant Adirondack Chair", which is either fitting or disappointing. I'm really curious to see how they turn that into an ending. Slappy returns in the finale, but it doesn't seem like her segment will be very long.

[gamemakerm]

I'm working on a list of mermaid media rated from 1 to 10 where 1 is "that's just a human with superpowers," 5 is "top half is a human and bottom half is a fish with a hard line in between" and 10 is "that's absolutely a creature"

Tidelands (up until at least episode 4) is a 1, very disappointing

The Little Mermaid (2023) is a 6, she's got a tail and also scaly bits. Solid effort, but could be pushed

Wednesday has sirens allegedly, but I only watched episode 1 and in that they're only a 1, barely a 2

The Thirteenth Year gets a 7; a formative disney channel original movie that actually puts some hand prosthetics on their merboy, groundbreaking

Siren ranked fairly high, like an 8. Those sirens have some BtVS makeup and webbed hands, well done

H20: Just Add Water and Mako Mermaids are around a 5, but also get my respect for doing the mermaid thing for as long as they did

I checked out Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides and honestly the mermaids in that one scene are so fast and its so dark i have no idea if they can become fucked up creatures or not. But they get a 6.5 by virtue of being terrifying. The main one featured gets a 6 though

Tropical-Rouge! Pretty Cure has my favorite mermaid and she actually has fin ears in her mermaid form, which gets her a 6, but also I love her so she gets a 10 in my heart

Avatar The Way of Water is like an 7, doing surprisingly well for a movie that isn't about mermaids at all

Literally the only media I've found that gets a 10 is The Sea in You, a webcomic by Jessica Sheron of @theotherhappyplace fame. They've got it all: fully covered in scales! Neck gills! Big ol eyes! Pointy teeth! Arm fins! Webbed fingers! The works! (Leave it to a horror fan to not be a fucking coward about mermaid design)

[bitter-post-millennial]

So im gonna go through this point by point:

1. I agree with you on the first paragraph whole heartedly. Disregarding Viserys’ very public want for a son- Rhaenyra’s grown up in a pretty stable household by Westerosi standards. Shes loved by both her parents (side eyeing Viserys hard in the first episode), she’s got a best friend (fruity as fuck) that she spends her days with, she’s got a sick dragon that she rides, all things considered a pretty good kid.

2. She made the love marriage to daemon after faking her first husband- Laenors- death so they could be married. Their grand plan is to do this not long after Laena’s death. So with both their children dead, the Velaryons are distraught and grieving. So what do the widows of their children do? They get married not even a month or so after. These are the people who were supposed to be dedicated to their children and they spit in both corlys and Rhaenys’ faces by getting married so soon. This is not a good look to say the least.

3. I would not call Jace and Luke respectful of others. Not when they bullied Aemond. You’re gonna make the argument that they were just children but what the fuck was that at the last dinner where lucerys laughed at the pig placed in front of aemond. That doesn’t seem kind or respectful at all.

4. If we’re going by the series, which I assume we are based on your Aegon comments, we have no reason to believe that she’s making dragonstone prosper. We hear literally nothing about that. Sure you can assume that but at the end of the day, Viserys always pushed her out of the important decisions. He shut her down at every turn when she spoke up when she was cup bearer in the small council. She doesn’t have a lot of training. Granted, I’m not saying that Aegon has any, but don’t pretend that Rhaenyra is completely well rounded in this regard.

5. I’d say knows and respects are pushing it. Also who are you considering family. Are you including Valyrian descendants or are you also including their spouses. Defining this makes or breaks your point.

6. Your next point is also completely correct. Aegons only merit is that he’s the first boy. But he’s not the eldest child. Rhaenyra is.

7. In the book Aegon isn’t a rapist. Is he an unsavory individual, yes. Is he an asshole? Yes. Is he a drunk who likes to fornicate in the wee hours of the morning in flea bottom, potentially catching and giving an inordinate amount of STDs to the surrounding population? Yes. My point is that there’s a lot of other things to choose from if you want to hate Aegon, why go for the one that’s only in the show?

8. His wife is also his younger sister that he made no secret of opposing as a match. Helaena’a his little sister and has to get drunk every time they have sex because he can’t stomach it. Also, let’s not act like Aegon’s cheating is the only instance of it. Rhaenyra has three bastard children that she got by cheating on Laenor Velaryon with Harwin strong. Not only that but Laenor also cheated on Rhaenyra with ser Qarl. This is not the place to demonize cheating.

9. Again, if we’re going by the show, ALICENT WAS 15!!! SHE DIDNT MANIPULATE SHIT AT THAT AGE. She was a child being manipulated by her father. Viserys was the adult, he could’ve sent her on her way.

10.this is the part where I see that you’re nuts and you haven’t been watching the show. Helaena is shown to be a dragon dreamer. If you want to double check, read fire and blood. She says “Aemond will have to close an eye if he wants to get a dragon” and then he gets his eye gouged out and rides vhaegar. Please don’t be obtuse,

All in all you do have some good points but they’re ruined by the sincere lack of consideration of why team green exists. This is not the girl boss story you want it to be. If you want that, I don’t think you should be consuming any of GRRMs material,

You have to choose ? It's true that the choice is really difficult.

On the one hand we have the king's eldest daughter with two parents of Targaryen blood. Her father appointed her his heir before the Seven Kingdoms and her mother was a true Queen who inspired respect and love. There was no doubt that she loved her daughter more than anything.

An heir who made a love marriage to a Prince Targaryen, who is the most feared man in Westeros and probably Essos. After so much suffering they are finally reunited and are in love with each other.Both are dragon riders.

They have children who are educated and respectful of others, whom they truly love. A true loving family.

An heir with a proven track record in managing and making Dragonstone prosper.

Every member of their family knows and respects the traditions of the Taragaryen line.

On the other hand, we have the king's second child, whose only claim to the throne is that he is a boy.

Who is a serial rapist, who abuses his power over the weak, who takes pleasure in watching starving children fight each other like animals.

Who cheats on his wife, who has several bastards he doesn't even care for, abandoning them in the Street of Silk.

Who has a mother who uses him as a pawn to steal a throne to which the Hightowers have no right.

A mother who manipulated a grieving man into crawling into bed with her on her father's orders. And we all know what that kind of woman is called. Who hides behind a virtue she doesn't possess and takes the liberty of judging others, she's the worst hypocrite there is.

Her children are only there to serve her thirst for power (three psychopathic sons and a daughter who has nothing exceptional and no, she never had the gift of being a dreamer - you've got to stop with all this nonsense!).

A woman who's bitter about her life and all the bad decisions she's made. A woman who is jealous of Rhaenyra's marital and maternal happiness.

Who, even though she's an adult, is still under the control of her pimp father.

So yes the choice is definitely a difficult one.

[faustocosgrove]

and on the thirteenth day of reviewmas I, Fausto, give to thee:

[(a show taking place in 2040/6 other shows i reference in this dual review)/(a different franchise with 1 manga + 4 anime series + 3 tv specials + 5 feature films + 1 musical +1 video game + 2 live action adaptations)] - (one show released in 1994 - the other released in 1987) = 13 reasons why i’m placing this review at number 13.

one of 12 instances of elder abuse

11 yawns

my 10 remaining brain cells after this shitty movie jfc

9 instances this show reminded me of a better show

an 80s cult movie

7 lgbt main characters in an incredibly queer manga like holy shit

6 ye olde government agents

5/5 stars best movie of the decade easily. might be the best movie of all time

4 scantily clad teenaged girls (fbi open up! meme)

the 3rd time i read the same book about lawns maybe?

2 high school animes

and a ninja book

…from a guy who still thinks about the naruto series in the year 2024

yes that math checks out. i would have simply placed it else where if it didn’t.

here’s the math again without words to make it easier on you:

[(2040/6)/(1+4+3+5+1+1+2)]-(1994-1987)=13

hell, i’ll even show my work

2040/6=340 1+4+3+5+1+1+2=17 1994-1987=7 340/17=20 20-7=13

Another dual review!

this review contains spoilers for a series not reviewed here: the nausicaa manga.

So I was turned off by this first show’s art style and kept scrolling around it but i’m running out of bad 80s and 90s anime on this free streaming service. also there’s like 3 seasons and 2 movies i keep seeing over and over again so i finally said the hell with it and turned it on. i don’t know how far i got through episode one, but i turned it off before the credits rolled. Anyway, City Hunter is the story of a vigilante/mercenary in 80’s tokyo with a gun who is also a massive pervert. that’s it. that’s the show.

based on the wikipedia page, it seems to have been quite popular, considering is has like 2 seasons and 3 movies or whatever up on the streaming service i should have seen that coming.

y’know i’d brush off that i didn’t like this on the fact that i’m not a fan of crime dramas, but i literally watched all of Nightwalker and that show was fucking awful. and i would also make the excuse that i’m not a fan of pervert is comedy but that’s a good chunk of Ranma 1/2 and like all of Urusei Yatsura and i didn’t hate either of those. i dunno, stars weren’t aligned or something.

Anyway, since i was scraping the bottom of the barrel for 80s and 90s anime i made the massive genre shift to a 90s american saturday morning cartoon.

i am not a clever man.

I also only got part way through episode one of Phantom 2040, but i’ll probably come back to it, just not often enough to shelve this review until i do.

I have never seen an animated show where everyone is ugly before. it’s fascinating. i want to study it. i mean the bad guys are clearly uglier than the main cast, but even the Phantom, who is supposed to be an 18 year old kid, is kinda ugly. best looking character in the whole cast so far is light googling Guran, the grandson of the original Guran. i mean at least in a franchise that’s core theme is “white man gets magic power from africa and is trained by a black man” makes everyone uglier than the one black character. i choose to believe that was intentional. tiny consolidation prize for the overarching racism.

the show also has that 80’s “this show was made for the sole purpose of selling merchandise” feel, mainly in how all the character models look like they’d translate into dolls very easily. unfortunately the result of the dollification is that everyone is doing the tory power stance at all times. like, so the doll can stand up by having its feet apart. this choice also leads to a lot of weird crotch shots. like, a guy or an evil robot gets shot and tumbles backward. with their legs apart. so you just get this animation rotating around the whole no-no-zone. and like i can see kids playing with their dolls shoot them and they die and knocking them over and like the kid knocks the doll down to show it’s dead. and this is like animating that. but it’s still weird crotch shots.

mild tangent warning, but i am going somewhere with this.

i am a huge fan of nausicaa of the valley of the wind. it’s my favorite book, bar none. yes my favorite book is a manga, shut up. i’m really touchy when it comes to nausicaa references. i detest the character rei from the new star wars movie because the opening sequence of that movie is just nausicaa references and then the rest of the movie has zero environmentalism. i’m also a huge Lily Orchard fan who has through the years used rei as an example of a perfectly fine character that men don’t like just because she’s a girl. and in spite of all the evidence i’ve seen of rei being a perfectly fine character whose trials and growth just don’t happen to revolve around environmentalism, i still can’t bring myself to like the character because i can’t detach the lazy nausicaa references from her. a thinking error on my part, but i just can’t fix it.

and then there’s the movie I Kill Giants where in the final battle the little girl’s hallucination tells her to stop fucking around and go see her mother before she dies of cancer and then drops the line “All things that live in this world die. That is why you must find joy in the living while the time is yours, and not fear the end. To deny this, is to deny life. But to embrace it…can you embrace it?” which has some, keyword some, resemblance to the final fight scene in nausicaa where our hero says “all things are born from the darkness and all things return to the darkness” and “suffering and folly will not disappear in a purified world. they are part of humanity. that is why, even in a world of suffering, there can also be joy and shining light” and “we can know the beauty and cruelty of the world without the help of a giant tomb and its servants” which is not to say that i think the mom cancer movie was ripping off nausicaa like starwars did. i understand that accepting death is a concept that many works depict and use almost these exact phrases because we all have to fuckin grapple with death, but the lesson of accepting death is an important one and it’s one the movie i kill giants did poorly. but because i’m obsessed with nausicaa it’s an insult to nausicaa to tell a story where a little girl is in denial for like 80 minutes then gets all the lessons crammed in her face that she somehow accepts suddenly versus nausicaa who comes to this realization herself after her father dies in book one of seven, being in a content wide war, and suffering from radiation poisoning herself. i mean even her pets die. her teacher dies. and in the purified garden scene nausicaa has to be brainwashed for her to forget all that’s going on and she only struggles for about 5 minutes with the idea of forgetting the real problem and playing a game of everything being fine in fantasy land before she snaps back to reality.

wow i really wrote more words letting you know how obsessed i am with nausicaa than i did reviewing either of the shows.

anyway, back to phantom 2040. there’s this bit about the new phantom discovering a leaf that after scientific analysis is determined to be a plant that absorbs the poison in the soil and destroys it.

unenthusiastic drumroll

exactly like the forest of corruption in nausicaa.

and… i don’t hate it.

i don’t know why it doesn’t come across as blatant plagiarism to me when i kill giants literally had nothing to do with nausicaa and i hold it to that standard anyway. it might be because i haven’t finished the series so i don’t know how bad it gets. it might be because phantom 2040 clearly didn’t make any money so i guess i think stealing is okay if you suck at stealing so bad you can’t even make money by copying literally the best thing to ever be written? sure. there you go, there’s my review.