Pairing: Ash (self-insert)/Commander John Shepard
Word Count: About 1.2k
Warnings: A bit of swearing, lots of making out. Slightly steamy if you squint, but it's mostly fluff. Also Shepard needs a vacation.
Synopsis: Set in the midst of Mass Effect 3, Ash can't help but notice that Shepard hasn't been doing well. After all, he could he? With the Reaper War upon the galaxy, it was up to him to save all organic life. Still, Ash worries for him. Building model ships has always been a hobby of his, and Ash thinks that perhaps building one together could help his tired mind relax.
Knock.
Knock knock.
Knock knock knock.
Ash sighs, staring at the metal door in front of her blankly. She looks down at the cardboard box in her hand, a toy model ship waiting to be built and assembled.
He must be sleeping... She thinks to herself. Usually, as soon as she knocks on the door of Shepard's cabin, he's rushing to open the door, to pull her into his strong embrace, tilt her chin up and kiss her.
Shepard doesn't seem to register the knocking at all. He's just staring blankly at the wall, lost in thought. It had become a regular endeavor for him these past few weeks. Fuck, there was always too much happening. Every single second he spent here wasting time, another planet was being attacked. The constant feeling of unease had him growing thin, as was being pulled in what felt like every single direction of the galaxy.
"EDI, you mind opening Shepard's door for me?"
Ash asks, looking up at the ceiling. The Normandy's AI companion could hear her regardless of where she was looking, but it was a habit Ash couldn't seem to drop. The response comes almost immediately, as it often did when EDI was involved.
"Past data indicates that Shepard's dopamine levels increase when he hears your voice, so yes. Yes I can."
As the door opens with a woosh, Shepard seems to be snapped out of whatever trance he was in. He's still sitting on the edge of his bed in a pair of sweats and his favorite N7 hoodie, but he looks over at Ash.
"Hey, Ash. You need something?"
He's happy to see Ash, and his tone is plenty chipper, but Ash can tell just how exhausted he really is. Perhaps it was her magical girlfriend senses, or maybe it was that it was plain to see that Shepard was exhausted. Still, she smiles, just happy to see him. Not even an intergalactic war could stop the way he made her heart flutter.
"Nope. Didn't realize I needed an excuse to see my boyfriend now."
Ash's tone is sarcastic and light-hearted (as it often is), but John just shakes his head and sighs, rubbing at his temple with his hand,
"I'm sorry. There's so much to think about. The deal with the Salarian Dalatrass-"
"Can wait. It can wait."
Ash approaches the bed and pulls his head into her chest, giving her the best hug she can muster with one hand still holding the cardboard box (hidden very stealthily behind her back).Ash's voice is a whisper as she kisses the top of his head, the familiar prick of his buzzed hair on her lips.
"When's the last time you slept, John? Joker told me your stress levels haven't been this high since the Blitz. I'm worried, baby."
"... I'm not tired. At all. I'll be okay."
Ash sighs, letting go of him and rolling her eyes. Shepard raises an eyebrow,
"Hey, what are you hiding behind your back?"
Ash shows it to him. To be completely honest, model ships were much more his department than Ash's, but she still did her research, and this particular model took her nearly a month of hunting down.
Shepard's blue eyes go wide,
"This model is a hard one to find. You got this for me?"
"Yeah." Ash smiles, "I thought maybe it would help get your mind off things."
"Ash, I... Thank you. Thank you so much."
Shepard looks up at her, and his eyes are so earnest and sweet. When's the last time he took a break, did something for himself? Ash puts a hand on his cheek, feeling the small poke of his stubble against her palm. She leans in for a soft kiss, pressing her lips against his, and it's a gesture that Shepard is more than happy to reciprocate.
"Where would I be without you, honey?"
It's more of a rhetorical question anyway, but Ash kisses him again, this time on his forehead,
"Dunno. And we won't find out either, since I'm with you until the end."
"In that case..."
Shepard takes the box from her, looking at it front and back,
"Wanna build this with me?"
"Fuck yeah, let's do it."
~~~~~~
It takes nearly an hour of long work, gluing and linking together wooden and plastic pieces to make what seemingly resembled a small figurine of a warship, but seeing John's smile made all the hard work more than worth it to Ash. Shepard yawns, settling the ship down.
Ash grins,
"Finally tired now?"
"Yeah. Think I'll take a nap, then shower."
Ash runs a hand down his arm,
"Hm... Mind if I join?"
She doesn't miss the smirk on Shepard's face, and she fucking loves it.
"The nap or the shower?"
"Heh, both. Looking forward to the shower, though."
Ash can feel the smile on his lips as he pulls her into his lap where he sat on the ground, wrapping his arms and kissing her deeply. His breath is soft on her lips as he pulls away just enough to speak.
"'Course you are."
It takes much more kissing, but Shepard eventually, Shepard picks her up with ease and lays her down in bed. He took his N7 hoodie off while they were building, so he takes his shirt of before laying next to her. Admittedly, Ash is soaking in the sight of his bare chest, her eyes drifting down to his muscles... There were scars, both from the Blitz and his miraculous coming back from the dead, but to Ash, there was nothing more attractive.
Shepard wraps his arms around her, and Ash giggles. His arms always felt so perfect. Ash was so soft, and she smelled so sweet too. She was Shepard's happy place. Ash laughs as he buries his face in her neck, soaking in the scent of her cologne barely clinging to her skin after a long day, and starts peppering her with kisses there.
"Shep! Your beard! It tickles!"
But he doesn't stop. He has a massive grin on his face. He loves hearing her laugh so much.
Still, it doesn't take long before Shepard is ready to drift off to sleep, the exhaustion of a day of meeting with aliens and humans alike kicking in.
Shepard squeezes Ash, holds her tight in a big ol' hug. Honestly, his grip is a little too strong, but Ash doesn't mind. He was showing her affection, and she was glad he didn't have to hide parts of himself around her. Whenever they sat around and built figurines together, it was so easy to pretend that they were just the run-of-the-mill couple, and not a supersoldier back from the dead and a decorated Alliance soldier.
"I love you, Ash."
He loosens his grip and lets her snuggle into his chest like how she always loves to.
"I love you too, honey. Let's get some sleep. I'm sure Garrus will wake us up if anything happens."
"I could stay with you forever."
Ash smiles,
"When it's all over, you will."
Shepard, already half-asleep by his point, grabs gentle hold of Ash's left hand and runs his thumb over her ring finger, right where a wedding ring would rest.
"Yeah, I will."
The next thing Ash knows, Shepard is out like a light, his breathing being enough to lull her to bed too.
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Okay I wanted to study math but I got so distracted by thoughts.
You know how some time ago I posted this about the fire-crested wren's story making me think about kiawren (I realised there was a typo, I didn't type out the 'wren' after 'fire-crested' woops.)
Today I realised I didn't dwell on the other part of the chapter I read this at. One of the hawaiian stories of Maui finding fire relates to him learning from birds who could make fire. (you can read the full thing here, it's cool I found it online after reading this in person but my new phone doesn't have the pics of the pages)
And like..... ... I was thinking how it is birds that first alight fire in this folklore. And Kiawe... Maybe his fire burns passionately becuz of Wren. Yes he's always had the drive in him, but a new sort of fire was kindled after he met Wren. It's a new sort of love and passion. Especially becuz he talks about feeling down and unsure about the future until but he says talking to (the player) helps.
Similar to this Pokemon Masters storyline:
He can and does feel burnt out (haha) sometimes and it really helps to know the people and pokemon around him care for him and want to achieve their goals together. So, I think with Wren around he'd have a new sort of motivation and looking forward to show them his progress. (Becuz he does all this for pokemon and people in the first place, to learn about the connections between the natural world and people through this cultural art.)
Wow ok I'm going off tangent. Uhm basically he needs a bird to keep his fire alive. (The bird meaning me)
Something else,
I find it comforting that he'd also know Banyan trees becuz they also have stories where I'm from: (there are more apart from these)
I think Kiawe would like that the former myth relates to music (the kompang drum) since he's a traditional dancer that also appreciates traditional music.
This is the same sccreenshot as the second picture on this post but I was quite glad to read they were baking bananas. Becuz I love goreng pisang that you can find in my region🤤🤤🤤 (fried banana)
Like! We could tell each other these stories and remark about their similarities (also, the snake in the Banyan was killed and Maui broke a neck and burned the head of the birds in the earlier story, but I didn't screenshot that part. Interestingly they have the animals on the losing end lol) and find parts of it that relates to us, even though these stories were shaped in different places.
The main thing I wanted to say is that Kiawren is so special to me for relating our love to the stories and symbols of the world, so that it goes past just "haha us" to wow I'm learning a lot of things because of you, and it's a larger than life feeling.
Also I remembered this silly drawing I did last time. If you asked Kiawe about loving Wren he'd probably remark that he loves them simply, becuz he cares for them and likes learning with and spending time with them. And if you ask me about loving him, I'd tell you about the fire-crested wren, the birds that made fire on trees that led Maui to bring fire to people, the way the Pacific Ring of Fire and the way tectonic plates subduct to form volcanoes reminds me of him and us. The Dragon and Phoenix in Chinese myth are celestial beings and when paired together represent marriage and prosperity. (He reminds me of reptilians, hardy and seemingly fierce but can be gentle. The dragon is formidable. He also has dragon, charizard, that used to be his grandfather's, the ex island kahuna and yes I'm following the pokeani story here cuz i like incorporating it with his game character. So yes I associate him with the dragon. And I'm the phoenix becuz bird. And also he loves fire. The dragon and the fire-bird. ) Chalk it up to age-old mythologies and natural phenomena that is a symbol of us before we even met, and even if we part.
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