#lit was meant to be here but i couldnt draw him so

[artisthoi]

in the clurb we all fam or whatever kids these days r saying

theres like no way station fanart so i had to lock in (also vaguely inspired by @/ fluffyfurbie on insta and i cant find a tumblr for them so </3)

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Omg I love all your drabbles they are so amazing and brilliant I can’t believe you do that for free! What a blessing you are!! I was wondering whether there would be a part four to the vacation au and if not could you do maybe more jealous Cassian but in your lawyer au I’m obsessed but honestly anything you write has me happy!

This is so sweet I am so glad you’re loving the drabbles! I did a second part to the vacation AU a couple days ago so I’m going to go with Jealous Cassian in the lawyer AU. I already *kind* of did this but I’ve been doing jealousy light lately and this time we are cranking it up to 100. This one is kinda long and pretty angsty and I think I definitely need to smoosh all these lawyer drabbles into a mini story that follows Nessian from meeting while studying for the bar exam and then through snippets of their careers so maybe that’s what I’ll do next.

Actually facing Nesta in court was an extreme rarity. All of her non pro Bono work was strictly solicitor. Drafting contracts and negotiating deals in different chic board rooms with little glass bottles of Perrier and complimentary latte carts trolling the halls.

Nesta thought that she didn’t want to litigate. She thought that people didn’t like her and because of that she was a bad advocate. She couldn’t have been more wrong.

Watching Nesta fight for something that she believed in, truly believed in, was the closest thing to a religious experience Cassian had ever known.

“And I would urge you to consider in your decision, your honour, the fact that even if it should apply in this case, the very law my learned friend is attempting to uphold is currently under review by the Supreme Court and may soon be overturned on the basis of being unconstitutional as well as unconscionable.” Nesta took a pregnant pause.

“If that happens. If this law is overturned, as you well know, it will not be retroactively helpful to my client. My client who was born here. My client who grew up in Queens. My client who can draw you a map of which bodegas has the best coffee vs the best sandwiches and their proximity to the nearest train, and if that doesn’t qualify her as an American, and a New Yorker, then I don’t know what does.” The judge smiled a little at that. It was a calculated risk, the emotional appeal. But Judge Miluski was already on Nesta’s side and she was a born and bread New Yorker and she had the rare distinction of being a member of the judiciary with a sense of humour. “If this law is overturned, which we both know is highly likely, then my client will be sent to another country, a country she has never even been to, not because she did anything wrong, but because this trial happened a few weeks too-”

Nesta trailed off, eyes caught at the quietly opening gallery door. A man stepped in. Tall and thin and… greasy. Hair slicked back with so much product Cassian didn’t think he’d feel it if he hit him on the head with a hammer. Which he desperately wanted to do. That brutish, violent, raised in foster homes in Harlem side of him that even a legal education and a closet full of Armani suits could never quite polish out of him lit on fire at the sight of this creep. This asshole who was wearing fucking asics with his $4000 suit. And no tie. Top three buttons of a pinstripe white shirt unbuttoned. What a fucking rube.

Except that this guy. THIS fucking guy, made Nesta lose her train of thought. This guy who walked into court late and had yet to drag his eyes up from Nesta’s ass, had distracted her. Caused her to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and smile a little. This shy, light, cutesy little smile that absolutely did not belong on Nesta Archeron’s face.

When Nesta smiled it was a sly, knowing, victorious thing that curled across her lips and set Cassian’s heart hammering in his chest.

This… this was insanity.

The man smirked, deep and arrogant, as he stood at the back of the courtroom, hands slid into his pockets. Not even respectful enough of the proceedings to sit down.

Nesta gathered herself quickly. The whole mess over in under 20 seconds, but Cassian noticed it. Even as Nesta went on and cited the law and the competing jurisprudence and the ethics and the constitution, he couldn’t focus. All he could think about was that little smile.

Cassian said his final piece, the judge ruled, as they both knew she would, in Nesta’s favor, and it was all over.

Nesta didn’t even gloat like she usually would have. She just stuck her hand out, the absolute picture of professionalism, and shook his.

“Good working with you, Counseler.” She said, as if he hadn’t pulled her around the side of a building and pushed her body up against a brick wall the other day, moulding her into him as they fought over this case. Discussed their future. Their passions.

She’d rejected his invitation to dinner, but she always did. It was a part of the game. A game that Cassian was determined to win.

“Who’s the tech bro?” The sneakers with the suit and the unbuttoned shirt and the general shitty attitude all pointed to that being the only reasonable profession.

“Babe,” the slimy man in question pushed past the swinging waist high half door that separated the gallery and the space where counsel’s desks sat. “Let’s go.” He wrapped and arm too tightly around Nesta’s waist and pulled on her a little.

Cassian curled his fists into his palms so hard his nails bit imprints into the skin of his palms. Babe? Telling her when to leave? The pulling? No.

“I’m Cassian.” He held out his hand. “ADA. What firm do you work for? Haven’t seen you around.”

“Tomas.” The man scoffed, “And I’m not a lawyer. Not interested in all that gibberish you’re type is always spewing. Sounds like pure nonsense to me. I’m a tech investor.”

Yeah. That sounded about right. No actual skills. Not an engineer or developer or even a business manager. Just an idiot with a trust fund throwing money at whatever looked cool.

“Well, Tomas. Do you know why they call that big exam full of all that gibberish you hate the bar exam?” The weasel just raised his eyebrows. “It’s because once you pass it, then you are an attorney. And allowed to cross past this BAR.” Cassian pushed Tomas back out the little half door again. “Which separates the civilians in the gallery from the lawyers making their cases. So maybe learn how to show a little respect.” Cassian scoffed, flicking his eyes to Nesta, “In a few different areas of your life.”

“What the fuck, bro?” Tomas rolled his eyes. “This is why I fucking hate going to your lawyer parties and shit. Jackasses like this.”

“Tomas, please.” Nesta placed a hand on his chest, Cassian tensed, and that seemed to calm Tomas down. Not Nesta’s touch, but another man’s jealousy.

“Why don’t you bring the car around. I have to work out a court date for another matter with Cassian but I’ll be right out.”

“Yeah, ok.” Tomas glared, keeping eye contact with Cassian as he kissed Nesta’s cheek, hand travelling too far down her back. “Hurry though.”

“Of course.” Nesta smiled that same tiny little smile that made her look like a doll on a shelf and Cassian wanted to scream.

“What the fuck are you doing with a piece of shit like that?” Cassian minced no words as he turned to face Nesta.

“Excuse me?”

“Pretty straight forward question, Nes.”

“You… you don’t know him. He’s not like that once you get to know him.”

“Sure he’s not,” Cassian scoffed.

“What is your problem?”

“My problem is that your boyfriend, who I’ve never heard of or seen before today despite knowing you for years, had a chance to see you in court. Had a chance to watch you all fired up and passionate and brilliant and instead he walked in late, stared at your ass instead of listening to what you were saying, and then shoved his way up here and pulled at you to leave like you were some kind of toy he didn’t mind tearing the arm off of.”

Nesta blinked. Huffed out a breath. “We’ve been on again off again for a while. That’s why you haven’t seen him before. And he just doesn’t like lawyer stuff that’s why he’s like that in here ok? Not that it’s any of your business.”

“So you’re dating someone who not only doesn’t recognize how brilliant you are but won’t even let you talk about your job?” That was wrong. That was so wrong. That was… why Nesta was so intense with him. Why she debated and fought and talked for hours. Because she couldnt do it at home.

“Why do you even care, Cassian? Let’s just set a date and-”

“Fuck you, Nesta.” Her jaw fell open. “Fuck you for even asking me that. You know why I care. You can’t play dumb with me like I assume you do with him.”

“You don’t know anything about my relationship!” Nesta defended a little too vehemently.

“I know you can’t yell at him about his take on immigration laws,” Cassian stepped closer to her. “I know you can’t get a little tipsy off your favorite Malbec and go on a rambling tirade about the corrupt judiciary and your twenty three- or twenty five depending on the night- reasons why voting for judges completely undermines the integrity of the legal system.”

The was almost no space between them as Cassian looked down, gently set his hand under Nesta’s chin and raised her gaze to meet his. Burning with anger and passion and barely concealed desire. “I know that he didn’t understand why you were crying when RBG died. Because he doesn’t care about how appointing Supreme Court judges works or what that meant for the future of the court. And because I know that you weren’t with him that night. You were with me. Just like election night in 2016. And the Kavanaugh trials. And when the travel ban came into effect. You found me. Because I get it, and I care about your thoughts on all of those things. I’m devastated by them too. You were with me, Nes. And don’t you dare pretend that doesn’t mean anything.”

“It does,” Nesta let her cheek sink into his palm. “It means everything Cassian, but…”

“But we fight,” he smiled. “We bicker and yell and cross ideologies and disagree on all the little things. But not the big things, Nes. Never on the big things. We disagree on how to change the world, not what we want to change in it. Isn’t that what matters?”

Nesta swallowed. “I can’t risk losing you.” She said quietly. “I need you. For all of those reasons, I need you to be in my life and if we… I hurt the people I love, Cassian. So if I let myself love you, I would only hurt you. And I can’t bear the thought of hurting you.”

“So you date him.” Realization was an arrow sailing into Cassian’s chest. “Because you won’t hurt him. Because you could never actually love him.”

Nesta swallowed. “See? See how awful I am?”

Cassian moved his hand to her back, pulled her into his chest. “Go,” he whispered. “Go do whatever you need to do. I’ll be here. And I’ll be waiting for you to realize that I’m not going anywhere. That I can take it. Whatever you want to throw at me, I can take it, Nes.”

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

When tensions break too often- a dark side au story

So I got my ideas back for some angst and some tension in this au, and I just couldnt resist writing it. Plus its a good way to warm me back up into doing things for this au.

This is also a bit of a deeper dive into the dynamics of darkside! Virgil and the other dark sides and how they all bounce and thrive off each other, as well a some backstory and peeks at the full effects of Deceit leaving( jealousy is with the dark sides but is only mentioned, he currently doesnt make much of an appearance in this one in particular, he gets his own angst later)

This was fun to write, not gonna lie. Its been awhile an this is gonna be long so buckle up with me

I also got alot of inspiration to finally write this out(and revise parts of it) due in part to @aimasup ‘s recent comics and writings about their kid sides(which I love, like alot alot and I hope they dont mind me getting super inspired by it!)

ships: Past prinxiety, past anxciet, implied intruxiety, implied intrulogical, implied intruloxiety, implied one sided remus x wrath, implied past demus, implied current roceit

Im putting a trigger warning here for cussing, fighting(verbal and physical), descriptions of panic attacks and emotional breakdowns, violence, gross and inappropriate language, some body horror descriptions, as well as implied unsympathetic sides(all sides are morally grey but the perspective is biased towards the dark sides as its seen from Wrath’s view- keep that in mind)

Things are about to get angsty my friends but i promise it ends happy(for once in this au)

I hope you guys enjoy

~~~~~~~~~~

Wrath Sanders had a lot more patience then almost everyone gave him credit for. Most considered him the biggest hothead there was, going off at the first irritation. But, the truth was he was eerily patient...Sure he may simmer and seethe and hold onto things in unhealthy grudges, but he never lost his cool as often as some would want you to believe.

Wrath Sanders kept his cool during many things, even if that was the last thing he wanted to do.

He had sat back through many things, biting his tongue to hold back the venom and yelling and grinding his teeth together in anger and forced himself to sit through many many things that happened around him out of respect- out of a deep fucking respect- for Virgil’s Fear’s Anxiety’s authority. Instead, he watched shit go down over and over again and held himself back from reacting towards the problem, focusing his energy on the recovery. 

But, the most recent event was his last fucking straw.

It had happened seemingly out of nowhere, Wrath had been slumped down on their shitty lumpy couch boredly watching some dumb movie. It was getting later in the night, around 10 maybe 11 and he had one of Remus’s crappy beers partially drank in his hand. He was just getting up to change the movie or turn it off all together when the whole house seemed to shift violently, the walls seeming to tremble. There was a moment of confusion before he heard it.

“ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

His whole body jolted to its feet unsteadily as the sound of Anxiety’s pain wreaked scream filled the house to an almost deafening volume as it distorted and deepened. His body moved before his mind, lurching over the couch and running for the source of the scream as another one wailed out even louder than the first, the sound muffling the breaking bottle and violently shaking the walls with their reverb. He heard other sounds too underneath, glass shattering heavy objects banging and wood splintering, wallpaper shredding. A third screech rang out, cutting itself in half with echoing high pitched sobs. 

He hadnt been the first to make it to his room.

Wrath watched as he turned the corner in time to see Remus destroy Anxiety’s door with his morning star, a wild and desperately freaked out look to his glowing eyes as wood splintered and gave out under the weapon, some sending cuts into his cheeks. The creative side was then out of sight in a flash, forcing his way into the room yelling as to be heard over the screams.

Remembering the pain, the fear the absolute panic in Remus’s normally confident voice sent a deeper chill down his spine than the screams had.

“ Virgy??!! Fuck fuck fuck fUCK!! Virgy no no! Its me dammit!! Fuck FUCK FUCK!! No no NO! Virgy virgy virgy storm cloud creepy cryptid no no nnonononono look at me no no look at me cmon honey look at me not those at me. me me me me..” His voice continued, shaky and softening as the screams faded into heart wrenching sobs and high pitched hyperventilating gasps. Remus continued to speak, morning star thudding against carpet and a softer thud sounding.

“ Hey hey hey hey hey hey...hey hey hey I got you I got you I’m here im still here....i’m always here for ya honey...I got you now I got you see? Yeah yeah thats me....just focus on me....cmon cmon stormy cant pass out on me now...follow my breathing lets breathe together...in...out...in out...now....tell me five things you can see....cmon honey you got this just look up im here right here...” 

The sight through the broken door haunted him, made his chest throb hard and bile burn his throat. 

The bedroom before him was completely trashed. It was as if something feral and destructive had ripped it from its very foundation. Every piece of furniture, big or small, was broken and smashed apart, the anxious side’s bed and couch ripped into multiple pieces. Every shelf  or flat surface had faced an even worse fate, thrown around and shattered into various pieces that had been strewn around the room along with glass fragments from anything unfortunate enough to have been made of glass. Papers and books were severed and torn apart viciously, and the wallpaper was slashed in huge wide cute, some of the slashes cutting deep into the wall underneath. And in the middle of the disaster was Remus and Anxiety. Long, protruding limb like dark shapes sprouted from the purple side’s back, twitching and trembling with adrenaline along with his heaving, hunched over shaking form. Remus was there in front of him, knelt down to the balled up figure and slowly but surely coaxing him up enough to pull him into his arms and rock him back and forth as he kept speaking to him. It took Wrath a few seconds of his vision adjusting to the room’s darkness to realize Remus had more cuts on him, and why.

Strings.

Millions of purple tinted, tautly pulled strings, like a tightly woven and intricate sickening spider web filled the room from top to bottom as if trying to shield the two in its depths. He could see parts of them hanging limp, likely from Remus forcing his way through to the other. He watched in a horrified shock as Anxiety’s body lurched and jerked with his piercing sobs, hand harshly digging into his scalp through his hood and shadowy claws threatening to rip said hood open. He could see many of the strings connected directly to various parts of his body and to the eight extra things on his back and it made him shudder. The room radiated a sort of fear and panic that was infectious, suffocating even. But he refused to leave the doorway and abandon the two there, in that too dense darkness. 

He watched Remus manage to gather up the shorter side into his chest and rock him more, practically curling into a ball over him. He was still talking, his voice softening to the point he couldnt make it out anymore from the door. But he could see his expression. God his expression mightve been what pushed him past his bullshit accepting limit.

Remus’s face was grim, any traces of his grins and normal attitude gone. His eyes were glowing in a dark, dangerously violent fury but the way they stayed trained on Anxiety kept them, for the time being at least, soft and remorseful. There was so much pain there in that focused gaze, pain regret sorrow a disturbing amount of fear and understanding. His mouth moved with words not meant for Wrath to hear, soft gentle coos and reassurances too intimate to be heard by anyone else but the one trembling harshly in his strong arms. Brows furrowed and it made Wrath feel even colder to realize his hands, hands that were holding the other up and petting his hair through that black hood and rubbing between the spidery appendages, were trembling. 

Remus was trembling.

After awhile the strings seem to fade away into nothing, those shadowy limbs following them scarily slow. Once that happened and the worst of the darkeness seemed to dissipate was when Wrath dared to take a few stiff steps into the room, debris crunching too loudly under his boots. He saw Remus stiffen and his eyes flicker up like a cornered, ready to attack animal before relaxing, glow never leaving.

“ W...wh..r...R-remus...” 

“ Des...Dessy brat...h-hey spitfire do me a solid and go open my door ok? Dont worry itll lead to my bedroom...just...go open it for me...will you...?” Wrath’s voice failed him after that and he nodded, backing out of that suffocation and away into the brighter lit hall rushing from the room to push open the dark stained door further down. He turned around to go back, to try to help somehow...anyway he could, when he watched Remus instead picking his way out of the mess and into the hall, their leader cradled in his arms limply like a small sleeping child. Not a sound came from either of them as he stalked through the hall and into his room, a single nod dismissing Wrath before the door swung shut in front of him...

That was where he was drawing a line. Enough had been enough.

Wrath had sat back through many things, too many fucking things than he should have. He held back his doubts when Virgil and Roman had first started seeing each other when they were younger and dumber, had held himself and barely held Remus back from mauling the so called “good” creativity when things had gone awry and he had broken Virgil’s heart and left him in bitter, resentful pieces for them to pick up and help mend back together. He held back every time Thomas had, intentionally or unintentionally, slighted and undermined their jobs as a part of him, of their importance, of Virgil’s and Remus’s importance to him. He had sat back through the aftermath of ever fight with the “light” sides and with thomas, through every dismissal and banishment and arguement and accusation. He had helped and been there through countless sleepless nights and previous breakdowns and panic attacks between all four three of them, and he had been here, had been forced not to retaliate as per Virgil’s simple request.

“ Dont Des....dont go after them...Im forbidding it got it? Dont do it. it isnt going to be worth it...please...” 

It had always been the please, soft and defeated that made him obey. Not the angry snaps and lashing out, not the cruel words and push and shove they all did for so long, but the plea in that word...the vulnerability it revealed. 

He had sat through Deceit’s slow distancing from the rest of them...and his eventually leaving them for the light sides and the ensuing pain and breakdown that his leaving left behind.

It had splintered them, had struck both Virgil and Remus harder and more painfully than either side would verbally admit. Wrath had been forced to do nothing but helplessly watch it break them and break himself too, and try to clean up the aftermath best he could.

But this breakdown, seeing the side that had always stubbornly refused to buckle or back down reduced to a screaming sobbing wreck on the floor, seeing the other side he had always seen be nothing but strong and indifferent to everything thrown with a grin shaking in fear and softly pleading was too much.

He had stayed down, seething, resentment festering for years. too many years without an outlet.

He remembered the hand that had been held out to him all those years ago. Remembered coming along a little bit before Deceit ever did...and looking up from where he was angrily crying on the floor to see two figures before him. One was shorter, with two sets of brightly glowing purple and green eyes and a big black hoodie that was too big for him and messy hair that fell into his face. Behind him was someone much taller, with wild hair and a single streak of white in it, eyes feral and gleeful i a way that made him tense and made him mad through his tears. He was dressed extravagantly, like a prince or even a king grinning unnaturally wide. But his focus narrowed on the purple one, whose dark claw tipped hand stretched out in front of him in an offering. When Anger had put his head back in his knees to cry more he felt an arm drape over him. His head snapped up and he saw the princely one next to him with a softer expression, hand rubbing his back a little.

“ Hey....hey its ok Anger. Whatcha crying for? You did your job! Pretty damn well too! You were amazing the way you had Thomas screaming at that bully!” A clawed hand smacked him making him yelp and he looked in front of him to see Fear knelt in front of him with a look of understanding, a bitter smile on his face.

“ He’s right you know? You were only doing your job...you didnt realize how out of hand things would spiral and thats ok. How they reacted isnt your fault...” 

They offered him a place to go, a place to thrive. Screw the others that refused to understand and stay with them. And Fear led them both deeper down the halls by the hand, making sure he didnt get lost

He was done standing down.

Someone needed to pay. 

~ ~ ~

If he was honest, Wrath wasnt sure how long he sat outside the intrusive side’s shut door, sitting slumped against the opposing wall in a thick, deafening silence. It mustve been long enough for him to drift into an uneasy, restless sleep. His dreams filled up with memories of younger years, of pranks and scuffles and violent roughhousing the three of them got up to being on their own, of Remus making meals and running around frantic to keep both Anger and Fear from accidentally killing themselves or each other on something. Of Deceit hazily joining their trio, hesitant and quiet but able to snap back just as viciously and able to rough house back just as good as the rest of them after awhile. Of days filled with shrieks, squeals, bickering and shrilly laughter, of restless nights where they all broke into Remus’s room and dog piled on his bed to sleep. Of slowly growing up and watching Virgil come out of his quiet observance and transition from Fear to Anxiety and taking charge as a leader among them, of Remus stepping back and letting him with full confidence as his right hand and partner in crime in most cases. Of seeing Deceit come out of his terrified shell and blossom into a belovedly bitchy and...supposedly self assured side...of Virgil’s echoing screams that seem to reverberate through his very core...

He jolted awake at the sound of a door creaking, and sluggishly lifted his head to see a pair of familiar scuffled riding boots, laces fraying if you looked close enough. He lifted his gaze higher and soon locked onto tired green eyes that were dark and dull from exhaustion. Lifeless was a term he could describe those eyes with and that fact made him briefly queasy and cold. He looked tired, so very tired, and older. He was older than them both....but right now he looked much older than he was...There was a silence between them for a few moments that allowed Wrath to rouse himself up a little more.

“ Dessy....for all thats unholy...what’re you still doin out here dumbass? Did you stay there all night?” 

‘Dessy’...‘ Des’ the nickname eased some of his shot nerves. Ever since they were kids they had joked that his name shouldve been “ Despair” instead of “ Daniel Williams” because of his very present pessimism and negative outlook. And soon it became so much more fitting that his nickname became “ Des” short for despair...or in Remus’s case “ Dessy” as he oh so enjoyed calling him. The annoying nickname was familiar though, and it helped him relax enough to speak. His voice was rough and awkwardly quiet in the small hallway, as if he’d been the one screaming. 

“ I....wanted to make sure he’d be ok...” He trailed off, voice faltering with a clear shake. It sounded pathetic and weak to him. 

But maybe, just this once pathetic and weak wasnt a bad thing. Because at the sound of his voice, and his dumb reason, Wrath saw some life flicker back into the older side’s eyes, some of their glow returning. Remus let out a tired, exasperated sigh and gave him a small sad smile, his expression softened into something sorrowful yet fond. That fondness, that softness sent warm tingling butterflies fluttering through his chest like it always did despite the grim circumstances. Remus let out a strained chuckle and shook his head, pulling his door shut with a quiet click.

“ He’s asleep now ya little Tasmanian devil...let him rest and we’ll check on him in a bit...now cmon, lets go make some breakfast and watch some movies or something....lets go up up.” With a grunt Des allowed himself to be heaved up by the armpits to his feet and didnt protest Remus wrapping an arm around him and guiding him down to the living room. He didnt want to see that pained exhaustion on his face...he needed to do something

and had a problem he was finally going to get rid of. 

“ No Des you cant.” 

There was that feeling as familiar to him as breathing bubbling in his chest, that hot smoldering feeling of anger or irritation igniting. It flushed out the cold he had been feeling in an unpleasant way but he ignored that part, pressing his palms flat on the table with a bit of force as he narrowed his orange eyes at the one across from him. He felt something like acid stinging his mouth and begging to be spilled free but he did as he usually did and grit his teeth to hold the worst of it at bay. Pushing it down. Holding back again.

“ Not again Remus. I refuse to just fucking sit back and do nothing again. They need to be taught a lesson! This is all their fault- all his fault--”

“ Even if it is so fucking what?! You blindly lashing out at them is only going to make things worse I can promise you that--”

“ Like hell it will!! They act like they can just walk all over us and treat us like fucking trash and cause things like last night and you think im lashing out blindly when--”

“ --When youre temper is as violent as a fucking feral mongoose--” “ Dont call me a fucking mongoose beetlejuice reject!!” “ Oh shut up and sit back down you twerp!!” 

They went back and forth across the table, both their tempers and volumes raising as they fought. That bubbling feeling was twisting into a boiling, growing burning that began filling his chest and core. Why was Remus not agreeing with him for fucks sake--

His vision started tinging red.

“ Look brat you think I fucking like this?! You think im not pissed the fuck off?! Because I am! I’m beyond pissed off about this!! About the fact I know exact who and what caused Virgy’s breakdown and about the fact it happened at all!! I fucking get it!! But even I know you shouldnt just storm in there to take off trying to take off their fucking heads when youre too upset! Youre not thinking clearly enough for that kind of confrontation dammit im trying to protect you in this too!!” Remus’s words were loud, ruthless, and hard hitting. There were angry and forceful and made sense.

Plenty of sense. 

And somehow that made him even angrier.

“ Oh? Ooooh! I get it, I fucking get it! Now that youve been sweetening up fucking logic youre suddenly the first to fucking defend them hurting our fucking best friend--”

“--oh for fucks sake bitch Logan has nothing to fucking do with this!! Im not fucking defending them either!! I swear to god im just trying to--” “ --to what huh?! Keep on his good side so you can get in his fucking pants?! Or so you can fucking push it aside and laugh about it later like one of them?!--” “ Goddammit you fucking stubborn brat you dont know what youre even talking about--” “ I dont know what im talking about?! I DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT?!?!” His voice rose much louder, his own trembling distortion coming out and getting spat at the side who had helped fucking raise him like venom.

“ I dont know what im talking about?!!  You mean like how I NEVER seem to know what the fuck im talking about?! Like how Virgil  never knows what hes talking about or how you never seem to know what youre fucking talking about when your talking to them?! God now youre even starting to sound like those pretentious bastards!! Dont know what im talking about?! What part do I not know what im talking about Intrusive Thoughts?! huh??!!” His breath was coming out in ragged, squeaking pants as his eyes began to burn “Which fucking part do I not fucking know?! The part where ive had to sit back and bottle up my rage at being pushed aside and degraded and judged and dismissed or having to sit back for fucking years and watch you and virgil get hurt and hurt and ignored and dismissed and talked down and insulted and broken and having to swallow my protests of it?! Or of knowing last night fucking happened because Deceit decided to fully live up to his fucking name and abandoned us for those bastards and left us alone without a second thought and got away with it?! Or the fucking fact youre too busy trying to bone down logic to even fucking care--!!” 

Smack!

It came so fast he hadnt had time to prepare for it before his head was snapped to the side and pain exploding in his face, on the cheek near the jaw in particular as he staggered to the ground a good foot and his eyes eerily slow dragged themselves from looking at the kitchen cabinets to Remus, who still had his fist outstretched near where it had collided with his face, his chest heaving almost like his own was, eyes wild and just as angry before a flash of realization went through them.

“ ....Des....fuck...i...you...” Nothing too coherent came babbling out Remus’s mouth, he was still way too hoped up on anger fueled adrenaline. His fist was starting to tremble and Wrath watched his pupils dilate a few times in his attempt to calm down.

And then there was something like an explosion as that burning feeling warped into a raging fire and Wrath let out a infuriated, inhuman shriek and lunged for Remus with a full intent to rip out his stupid fucking throat as his rage consumed him.

The two fighting sides went crashing into the living room loudly nearly knocking over the couch in their wake, both of them screaming and Wrath inhumanly screeching in an almost reptilian manner as he clawed and punched wherever he could reach. Remus wasnt just lying down and taking it either, yelling in loud angry spats of soon unraveling nonsense as he fought back mercilessly, throwing the other into walls, into furniture, throwing punches and kicks of his own. But nothing seemed to slow the orange side down and he struck back with slowly growing claws and fangs and something sharp growing out of his hair, angry tears burning his eyes and his voice too warbled and distorted to even be understood anymore, both their forms twitching and subtly shifting and glowing as they tried to rip each other to shreds, things fluid dripping and twisting lashing out from Remus’s back. Remus was stronger, he always had been, but Wrath had a seemingly endless stream of fury and adrenaline that kept him getting back up and charging in for more, the room being wrecked between them. Maybe things would have gone too far if it hadnt been brought to a hard, screeching halt.

By the time they could both blink they were ripped away from each other, both now uselessly struggling as they were entangled in roughly restraining strings that glowed a eye straining, furious purple color and seemed to tighten and wrap around them more the more they fought and struggled for freedom. Their indecipherable words and incoherent screams where just as ruthlessly cut short as strings wrapped warningly around their throats, not tight enough to actually choke or hurt them, but firm enough to be very present and felt, their voices being quite literally silenced the moment it touched looped once and touched the spot over their vocal cords. There was a horrifically tense silence as their mouths moved in spat insults and screams that never made a sound.

“......that....that is enough out of both of you.”  

Virgil’s voice cut through the room like a cleaver, the tone dead, cold, and just as pissed off as they were. At first they couldnt see him, manic eyes darting around until Wrath saw the Duke’s eyes trained on top of the stairs near the hallway, pupils down to small pinpricks. When he glared over in that direction he fully understood and felt all that anger draining and quickly turning into a queasy, cold dread that made him want to cower.

That radiation of fury, or bone chilling fear and a kind of suffocating anxiety that made it hard to breathe and a panic that made them both feel like they were perpetually falling and simultaneously drowning swept over the living room like a flood, the corners and ceilings slowly developing intricate pulsing webs or strings that seem to absorb the rooms light as Virgil stepped, no, half crawled down the stairs and into view. Both sets of eyes were visibly, the whites dyed a void like inky black where his brightly burning purple and green irises cut into them coldly. Something sharp and gleaming poked from his scowl and revealed themselves as fangs as his snarl curled his lips. His hood was up hiding most of his pale skin but couldnt hide the flecks and scatterings of void like, inky and purple spots dusting parts of his slowly purple tinging skin. His hands, snapping out from his sleeves to grip the stair railing were fully blotched in that void, fingers curling into razor sharp claws that strings hung stickily too. The eight dark appendages, opaque and gangly half carried him down faster than usual, the ends digging into the carpet as if for stability. A shrill hiss whistled through Anxiety’s teeth and the panic inducing feeling of being stared at at being excruciatingly examined came from every corner, growing worse and worse as he stalked closer with silent movements. 

“ What....the actual fuck are you two doing.” The words with sharp edged and cold, tone flat and tired. They both just stared helplessly, unable to move or speak and both beginning to mindlessly panic. Virgil blinked and a gust of air like an exhale swepted through the room and....left no traces of those fearful horrified feelings in its wake. Both of their feet thudded mutedly against the carpeted floor as the strings released them and retreated back into nothing, disappearing from all around them as if they had never been there to begin with...the room never dimmer than it had started in the morning light and the three of them stood there in silence. Any hints of inhumanity were gone from Anxiety’s form, leaving his two still glowing eyes losing their luster and leaving dull annoyance behind, no fangs, no extra limbs, no claws, no void dotting his skin. When he spoke he took a slow breath, as if unable to breathe just like them.

“....I...I mean it you two...what. the actual fuck did you two wake me up with.” Even his voice had returned to normal, if not for a bit shaky and hoarse from last nights screaming. Wrath saw his eyes were bloodshot, and his face was tinged with blotchy pink and was puffy from crying and something clenched in his chest, thudding hard. He looked at Remus, who was panting from lack of breath, eyes dull and exhausted and pain filled again, injuries from their fight blaring from the blood decorating his body and clothes.

He had done that....he’d lost control again...

“ Im dont want to repeat myself a third fucking time. What the fuck did you--” 

“ I...This is my fault I started it...” Both of them looked at him, gazes drilling into him. But he let his head drop as shame took over, choking him a little. This was his family and they were already hurting and look what he’d done-

“Oh piss off Dessperato. It aint only your fault I fucked up too. Look virgy we were both tired and coming off that dumb worry adrenaline shit and we started arguing...and we got waaaaaay too heated and decided to beat the living shit out of each other...sorry we woke you you were suppose to sleep later.” Virgil let out a sigh and rubbed his temples, pulling off his hood and shaking out his messy bedhead. 

“ Is that all that happened? Im not deaf and the doors arent sound blockers...” “ Then why are you asking.” Virgil and Remus as a bit of a stare off before finally, for the first time that morning all the life slowly returned to his eyes and he gave a toothy, blood streaked grin and started to laugh. The other two looked at him like he had fully lost it. Then Virgil’s lips twitched up and Des rolled his eyes and failed to stop the grin spreading across his face or the chuckles that he managed to choke out. Within a few minutes all three of them were laughing on the messy living room floor  half sprawled over each other and Jealously bemusedly deciding they werent capable of making breakfast and making it for them all instead. Des watched half delerious from his exhaustion as Remus cackled and kicked his leg, just to laugh more when he kicked back.

“ I swear to god no more violence out of you two or I swear I’ll...” Remus let out a snort and gripped the other’s chin between his fingers sensually tugging their faces closer with a smug grin

“ You’ll what Hot Topic? Lock me in the closet again? Or send me reeling with nightmares and hallucinations~ Oh please virgy baby I dare you too~” His tone was light and suggestive, quirking his eyebrows up teasingly for added effect. Virgil snorted and and grinned back leaning close as well.

“ Oh dont start teeempting me with those sweet talkins about hallucinations dr. Hideous~ I might just take you up on that...” Then he flicked his nose and shove him away, both of them laughing. Des was about to try to give them the time to themselves when Remus yanked him between them waggling his finger disapprovingly, making him whack the other’s shoulder with a affectionate “ fuck RIGHT off” and for awhile, in that growing morning light, things felt ok. 

It had taken alot of talking, and another arguement almost breaking out between himself and virgil to convince him to back down from confronting the light sides violently. Virgil brought a surprising amount of identical points to remus, while also reminding him that reacting to violently will only make them ignore and dismiss him further. Des was very reluctant, and stubborn, but ultimately he trusted Virgil’s and Remus’s judgement. He trusted Virgil’s reasoning and that he was looking out for him- protecting him. So when he asked him, softly, to refrain from trying to handle it on my own and let him deal with it Des had agreed, obeying his request.

And then a real tipping point pushed him back over the edge.

It was a few weeks later. He remembered distinctly because the mindscape was abuzz with excitement, even the dark sides were effected by Thomas’s unbridled joy. But Virgil had said he was getting a bad feeling...and headed off to the main part of the mindscape that morning. Things were quiet after, calm even. At some point him and Remus had started playing cards, though Remus was blatantly cheating and they were bickering.

Things were fine...things were calm...

Then Virgil crashing into the living room breathing harshly and in the midst of a bad panic attack. 

They both jumped up and Remus caught the other in his arms, trying to calm him down and figure out what happened. It took a long time and for awhile they only got bits and pieces out

Thomas

A callback, a big important one he and Roman were thrilled for

Patton, something with both Patton and Deceit

Neither of them agreeing but both of them fighting Virgil

some kind of important friend event on the same day

they had argued, they had fought, there had been yelling by the climax of it

Him and Roman went at each others throat despite the fact he had been trying to help roman’s cause

Deceit fought him alot too, trying to cut him off at every chance in a form of fear response, out of defense

Him and patton argued and fought badly for the first time since Thomas’s last breakup

He thought logan would try to see his side and be a neutral party

Logan was getting tug of warred into agreeing to arguments to push him out

They kept trying to shut him down and dismiss him, they stopped listening fairly

Virgil had to pull out a form shift in front of thomas

He had to use his influences and fear to get them to stop talking over him and twisting his words

it only made things worse, and arguments harsher

They rejected him and his attempts to help more

He started having a panic attack mid argument

He thought logan and patton tried to help but they were getting drowned out by Roman and Dee

There was so much yelling, things that should never be said got thrown

They told Virgil he never does anything but make Thomas worse

Thomas finally nearly screamed for them all to stop and half asked half pleaded for Virgil to just leave until everyone calmed down

He lashed out and hit someone, he wasnt even sure who before he fled, not hearing them yell after him. It mightve been patton, or thomas, or maybe logan

And then his panic attack got worse and neither of them could get another understandable word from him. 

In the end Remus eventually got him called down, after a good couple hours of trying, and it took everything in Wrath not to scream and destroy the room.

All Virgil did was try to help, and look what their....their bullshit left him. He was beyond seething at this point, he was fuming he was downright practically breathing fire and shaking from the effort to keep himself still. Remus gave him a cautious warning look, as if he was sizing up one of his many monsters in the imagination and debating if it would kill him or not and Virgil lifted his head to choke out for him to stand down, and to not do anything. Wrath had nodded silently and waited, watching Remus help him upstairs to his room to grab his headphones, and hopefully calm down more. Once they were out of sight he made a decision. He knew the consequences of it, knew theyd both be furious and Virgil would make hell for him for it. But none of that mattered to him

For the first time in many many years...he disobeyed Anxiety’s direct request.

It took a few days to find an opening, but once he saw one he took it, rising up in the big main living room, unknowingly in the middle of a video brainstorm.

Wrath always seemed to appear near the couch, between Roman and Thomas. Just seeing them made his blood boil more than it had been.

It was easy to say he scared the shit out of most of them by just appearing, his entire presence sucking the air from the room and making it hot and tense, a cracked dam waiting to break. Itd been months since he’d seen them face to face, and for a moment his senses got overwhelmed by everything.

But he let that fuel his anger further and he growled for them to fess up. Which one had said it. Roman had of course jumped to the defensive of his friends and that was all Wrath needed.

He lost it, pointing and yelling and accusing Roman. Blaming him for it. Roman didnt back down and fought back, and the fight only seemed to worsen. The others tried to interject, and maybe if Wrath’s vision hadnt been blood red from his fury he wouldve seen they were trying to diffuse the situation and calm things down, talk things out. But he ignored that, whipping around and lashing out at them too

“ Wrath you need to step back and take a deep breath! Youre getting irrational!”

“ Wrath kiddo please we dont have to yell and scream about this Logan’s right lets all take a deep breath ok?”

“ Like hell! Im not going to just let him force his way in here and yell and scream and pretend its ok and we can talk!”

“ Roman please!” “ro stop getting angry back is just making all of it worse the others are right we need to be calm or we’ll never get through to him.”

That voice. Silken and soaked with caution. He whirled around on Deceit and snarled pinning him to the wall without thinking.

“ This is all your fucking fault! Youre the reason they keeping hurting and virgil has breakdowns that put him out of commission for days!! Youre part of the reason Remus locks himself away beating himself up. they trusted you!! We all trusted you and you decided to fuck us over and throw us out like trash!! Was it worth it?!?! Was being here worth breaking the people you grew up with you and loved you?! Well?!” There was yelling around them, and he thought briefly he heard Remus’s and Virgil’s voices behind him as well. But now all that anger, that pushed down bitterness and resentment finally had a target and he couldnt focus on anything else. He didnt even heard Deceits struggling answer as he tried to claw him off, his different eyes wide and his mouth moving in words that werent registering.

“ -youre right ok?! Fuck youre not right at all--fuck fuck I get it youre angry and I fucked up with this, this isnt my fault and I havent been trying to figure out ways to fix it! I totally havent been beating myself up for what happened a few days ago with virgil and I dont regret it ok--” THe words blended together in his head, there were hands on his shoulders ripping him away the the freaked out snake and shoving him into the couch. He snarled but froze when he realized He was staring at the very formal business end of Remus’s morning star, inched from his nose and Remus standing over him with a dark look over his face...dark and upset The red faded from his vision and he blinked rapidly, eyes burning again and jaw aching from how hard he’d been clenching it or from yelling he honestly couldnt even tell anymore. From behind Remus stood both Logan and Virgil, side by side speaking in rapid low voices he couldnt decipher. Behind them he caught of glimpse of Roman and Patton both kneeling on the floor, fretting over a still freaked out Deceit as Jealously offered to help him up. Wrath was struggling to breathe, his body twitching and shaky from the quickly fading adrenaline. Soon he was left feeling cold and sick of himself, staring at Remus with just as wide and wild eyes. 

“ Easy....easy spitfire....youre...just breathe for me ok?” He couldnt even nod, he couldnt move. He vageuely noticed Virgil and Logan both looking at him before the morning star was gone and Logan was in front of him, hands palm up in a non-threatening manner. 

“ Wrath can you hear me? Good...just listen to my voice...I need you to name me five things you can see.” He blinked rapidly and barely heard Remus’s and Virgil’s murmurs of reassurance. Or maybe Virgil’s was more quiet talking, as he was standing at Patton’ side  like the normally bubbly side’s shadow. 

“u...uuh....y..youre tie...r-remus’s outfit....the stairs...the others...and the Roman’s s-sword...” Logan gave a nod, slowly kneeling in front of him with a calm, leveled expression that helped him focus more.

“ Good, now four things you can touch. Take your time Wrath.” He flexed his fingers, more of a twitch really as his breathing began to even out slowly. “ Um...My jacket...the couch...my jeans...uh...t..the carpet?” He nodded again through his faltered stammering as the deepness faded.

“ Three things you can hear?” He blinked again and listened for a moment.

“ .....your voice...Remus’s voice...the others...” “ Two things you can smell, remember take your time.” “ Bacon...from breakfast...and someones cologne..” A small smile came to his face as he adjusted his glasses in slow noticeable motions.

“ Just just 1 thing you can taste.” He managed to smack his lips once and his face screwed up at the taste lingering in his mouth.

“ ....acidic bile...” Both their brows furrowed a little but when Logan looked over his shoulder Remus shrugged at the silent question.

“Probably needs to puke Dr. Maywhoo.” Logan sighed at the nickname and turned back to him, holding up his hands a little.

“ Now, Wrath Id life for you to unclench your jaw, roll and relax your shoulders, loosen your posture if you can, uncurl your fingers and exhale please.” He blinked and slowly did as instructed, not realizing until then that he was wound up like a jack in the box. His jaw ached as he unclenched it and his shoulders slumped heavily as he relaxed, fingers sore from apparently being curled into firsts for so long, small red lines in his palms from his nails. He felt calmer, drained and upset, but calm. 

“ Logan, Remus.” He looked past them to see virgil standing up tall, if not awkwardly, besides Roman and watching them with a hard to read look.

“ I...think sitting down and calmly talking...is now long overdue.” 

~~~~~

Hours later Wrath Des found himself on the mindscapes main couch tiredly nestled besides a dozed off Jealousy Jacob and a cheerfully talking Patton. They had spent hours haphazardly strewn around the very room, just...talking and discussing and airing years worth of grievences. It wasnt easy, and things were no where near fixed or completely repaired. But, there were many small positive steps taken in that direction...and things were lighter and better as they stood at a better understanding of each other. Things werent perfect, and in the back of his mind he could list everything that could fuck up and send them back spiraling. Yet he didnt want to ruin what...whatever it was happening as dinner was cooked. Logan, Remus, and Virgil all sat together on the other side of the couch chatting among themselves and with Patton as they tried to decide on a movie and played candyland. In the kitchen he could hear Roman and Deceit cooking and giggling with each other, trying to outdo each other with some dumb food based pick up lines. But they sounded happy, so many it wasnt that dumb...Des watched them play candyland, staying relatively quiet aside from answering questions and jabs sent his way. It was comfortable and relaxed, and Des couldnt help but yawn. Without noticing , he ended up resting his head on Patton’s clearly unoccupied and underutilized shoulder as his eyes drooped shut. He felt Patton jump a little before slowly relaxing, and he didnt even need to open his eyes to flip Remus off as he let out an overly exaggerated coo at the motion letting himself relax. Patton smelled good he decided. Like fabric softener and baked goods and some kind of spice...Des also decided that the blurry sight of the trio next to them, with Remus’s legs draped across Logan and Virgil’s laps and one hand playing with Virgils messy hair as he sat on Logan’s right and Virgil contently and fully relaxed into Logan’s left side, head resting in the crook of his neck and his hand laced with the logical side’s unused hand as they played was also good. The sound of Jacobs soft snores was soothing and the joyful flirty voices in the kitchen blended into it well when combined with Pattons soft humming. If this was how things would be more often....he’d learn to add a little more patience to his supply of the stuff....

And maybe for once he didnt have to be negative, with no more tension for now to be broken.

The end.

 Ok holy shit its finally finished!! This was over 7k goddamn words of emotion and holy shit was it a rollercoaster to write

THis is what happened when I wake up before 5 in the morning after not being able to sleep much...I apparently bust out 15 whole pages worth of words

Now....to go do my chores real quick and go pass the fuck out for an hour or two of sleep

I hope you guys liked it!!!

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[siserary933043]

Caravan of love

God I need a cigarette! I gasped as I collapsed, exhausted, at the top of the small mountain my team had just hiked up in the Lake District.

Youre supposed to be setting us a good example. Khalid laughed as he flopped down next to me quickly followed by his two schoolmates.

Fu…To Hell with that! I laughed, I deserve one after a walk like that.

Still laughing at me puffing and panting the boys whispered something, then Khalid turned to me and asked nervously; Do you really want a smoke?

I was supposed to have given up…but…yes… at this minute I would absolutely love one. I replied.

Jonny, he turned to his friend, give her one.

Id love to; but will a fag do? The good looking teenager giggled.

When the penny dropped that Khalid had made an innuendo the laughter got even louder.

You boys will get me the sack! I chided them as I took the cigarette from the packet. Jonny knelt beside me as he lit it in his best James Bond manner.

Youre leaving anyway, the other boy, Fletcher, corrected me.

He was correct; this was my last day as a teacher in the UK and I was only doing this course as a favour to the Headmaster.

Im Nina and Im a 25yr old supply teacher in the North of England. Because I was sick of not knowing which school Id be at from one week to the next I was catching a train home to Bishop Stortford the next afternoon after Id safely put my three teenage charges on the coach home to Newcastle. Id been at this school 7 times in the last three years and had developed a good reputation among the pupils and staff, but knew that there was no chance that Id ever get a full-time job.

Every year twelve schools from the Newcastle area take part in an outward bound competition in the Lake District spread over four days. The Headmaster at Ponteland Comprehensive, where Id been teaching since January, was desperate for his school to do well for once; but Mr. Winnet who was meant to be in charge of a team of four had hurt his back so I was corralled into spending four days climbing hills, canoeing, orienteering and walking through rivers with three hormonally challenged 15 year olds while getting paid for it!

I already knew the three boys in the team from my time as their stand-in Maths teacher and hadnt had any real problems with them; even though they were all from the notorious Darras Hall Estate. These three were regarded as ‘saveable by the Headmaster and the course was their reward for 100% attendance and working hard.

Im a naturally sporty type of girl; so with my help and leadership we had been ‘neck and neck with Scotswood Grammar School and climbing this hill in the fastest time meant that we were the Champions!

Youd better finish that quick, miss! Jonny shouted, Walker Academy is nearly here.

Khalid and I took a last puff from our cigarettes and made a drama out of stubbing them out and wafting away the tell-tale smell of smoke, although there was a gale nearly blowing us away.

I grinned and shook my head when I read the sticker on the boys caravan door – ‘If the caravans a-rockin; dont come aknockin! Hardly appropriate for a group of schoolboys; I thought.

Whats going on here? I asked as I suspiciously sniffed the air in their caravan when I went to collect them to go to the evening meal and presentation.

Nothing, Miss. They all chimed in unison.

If thats what I think it is, you really will get me sacked. I tried not to grin as I definitely smelt dope in the air.

The boys didnt admit to anything and we made our way across the muddy field to the main building. It was quite a distance as we had been allocated two caravans at the far end of a large field; the other schools had large tents closer to the main building and toilet block.

You look nice miss. Khalid told me as we walked past the other schools tents.

Thank you, I smiled in appreciation, a girl never knows what her luck will be like in a place like this.

I did actually; even though I was wearing a nice short denim skirt and a fitted zip-up hooded top there was absolutely no way I was going to pull on my last night as an English school teacher. The best looking guy was obviously gay and the other teachers and the instructors all looked down their noses at my team as they were from a rough council estate that didnt fit into their ‘elite club.

After dinner and the short ceremony we tried to mingle with some of the other teams but when I had to stop Jonny from hitting a taller boy from Scotswood I thought that a tactical retreat was called for.

Have you got any of that stuff left that I didnt smell earlier? I asked Khalid as I pinned Jonny to the wall as a teacher from Jesmond led a whimpering boy away claiming that Jonny was ‘going to kill him.

He nervously looked at Jonny who was their natural leader; then nodded nervously, Why Miss?

I think that this young man needs to relax and, if memory serves me right, that should do the trick!

Youre cool, Miss, Fletcher told me, with a lop-sided grin, for a teacher!

I asked what he meant by that and the boys all told me why they liked me above all of the other teachers as we wandered back to their caravan.

The boys were being trusted not to wreck the van as they should have been chaperoned by Mr Winnet but he had got the train home earlier in the day.

As Khalid unlocked the door he turned and grinned, Weve got some booze too!

Why am I not surprised? I chuckled as I took a seat in the middle of the bay window.

Khalid brought his large rucksack in from the bedroom as Jonny produced a tin with 5 spliffs in it from his.

I shook my head in mild disbelief as they poured large measures of vodka into tumblers and topped it up with coke from the ceremony.

Where did this come from? I asked as I put the glass to my lips, I know you didnt bring it with you; we checked your bags.

This morning; when you were putting Winnet on the train, he grinned mischievously, I robbed two bottles and some cider out of the shop over the road.

The boys let out a cheer as I shook my head in mock disbelief.

Jonny opened his tin and offered me one of the spliffs.

Id rather have a ciggie if someone has one. I shrugged my shoulders, Ill have one of those later!

As we sipped the vodka and coke the boys bombarded me with questions: ‘Did I have a boyfriend? ‘Why was I leaving? ‘What was my home town like? ‘What was university like? ‘Had I ever taken drugs? ‘Did I have any tattoos or piercings?

It was fun talking to them and I tried to be as honest as possible as they genuinely wanted to know what life was like away from their town. I admitted to smoking dope and occasionally dropping a couple of Es and I had three tattoos; showing them the Angel on my shoulder and the Celtic design on my lower back but letting them guess where the other one was.

When Id finished my large glass of vodka and coke we all lit up the spliffs…WOW…Id forgotten how good that stuff could be and how powerful.

My head was spinning when Fletcher handed me a second large glass of vodka.

My legs were now curled underneath and I began asking about their lives. It wasnt long before they started talking about girls.

As the drink and dope began to take effect we were all in a giggly mood and the boys became braver as they talked about the girls and other female teachers in very personal terms.

I began by admitting to being quite wild at University but not actually telling them exactly what Id done – just letting them guess; which was fun.

The boys quickly became excited when I didnt blush or rein them in so their questions soon became very sexy and personal.

‘Did I play with myself? ‘Did I use sex toys? ‘Had I ever been with another girl? ‘Had I ever seen a porn film? ‘Do you suck cock, Miss?

Without hesitating I replied, Yes or of course, to just about everything.

The boys were all grinning and had twinkles in their eyes as they continued asking me about my sex life and confessed to all sorts of things that theyd been getting up to with the girls at school who Id previously thought relatively innocent! How wrong I was!

Jonny told me that Nadia gave the best blow-jobs because her tongue was pierced but Carly would let them cum on her face.

Apparently at least five girls in 5c, including both Thompson twins, had shaved their pubes off! I couldnt remember if I even had pubes at that age!

Their dirty language and descriptions were now making me very, very horny and I was beginning to think I should leave them as I really needed to frig myself.

What do girls think about when they play with themselves? Fletcher asked.

All sorts, I guess. I answered then took a draw on the last spliff that Khalid had passed to me.

Like fantasies? he continued.

Yes, I raised my eyebrows in mock amazement, girls have sexy fantasies just like guys.

All three looked genuinely amazed and it was only then that I remembered how young and immature they really were.

So what are your fantasies Miss? Jonny asked me.

Ooh, I couldnt possibly say. I said as coyly as possible.

I nearly gave the game away when Khalid immediately started talking about him and his elder brother roasting a girl as her 15th birthday present.

By this time I was permanently squirming in my seat and I was sure that Jonny and Khalid were looking up my skirt and could see my red panties. They certainly made no attempt to hide their bulges that where poking through their jogging pants as they moved into the corner of the sofa for a clearer look.

.

Im going to have to go for a wank now! Jonny snorted as he thrust his hands inside his pants and finally adjusted his hard dick. I uncurled my legs to make myself more comfortable; making sure that they got an unobstructed flash of my soaking knickers and hopefully some of my gash as I knew my pussy would be sucking the gusset in.

Would you like me to do that for you? I smiled.

The poor kid didnt know what to do or say.

Im serious, I beamed, as I took another slurp of vodka, do you want me to wank you off?

The boys nervously looked at each other, unable to comprehend what Id just said.

I manoeuvred until I was kneeling on the sofa and facing the 15 year old schoolboys.

Oh come on guys, I pleaded as I slowly unzipped my top, youve got to know how horny youve made me.

The boys were still silent but now grinning madly.

Ill show you mine if youll show me yours. I giggled as I took my top off then seductively cupped and stroked my tits through my pale blue lacy Wonderbra.

Ive always had nice tits…no thats not quite right…I have fucking lovely tits…everyone says so! They are medium sized (32b), firm and pliable clay and my nipples poke up to the sky. They have passed ‘the pencil test several times!

Jonny shrugged his shoulders and pulled the waistband of his pants down with one hand and waved his prick at me with the other.

Mmmm, that looks nice. I purred as I unhooked my bra and let it fall to the caravan floor. Do you like my tits?

The boys nervously nodded. Jonny and Khalid were still in front of me but Fletcher was sitting slightly behind getting a good view of my arse as well as a side view of my tits.

Get your cocks out and Ill show you my tattoo! I teased as I unbuttoned the side of my skirt.

Khalid quickly whipped his out closely followed by Fletcher. Their cocks looked gorgeous; Khalids was about 6 inches long and quite thick and a lot darker than his olive skin – I couldnt wait to suck it! Jonnys was about the same length but not as fat and Fletchers was short and fat – just like him.

I could feel the sweat running down my back as I stood up and let my skirt fall to the floor. The boys couldnt take their eyes off me as I slowly pulled the front of my knickers down so that they could see my hairy pie and my little red devil tattoo but not quite everything.

I dropped my chin onto my chest, fluttered my eyelashes as innocently as possible and told them, Well, Ive seen yours…would you like to see mine?

Fuck yes! Fletcher gasped as he stroked his cock. Actually they were all slowly masturbating in a well practiced manner. Thats another thing about me…I love watching guys play with themselves…as long as there is some left for me.

It took a tug to prize my knickers out of my sticky pussy but Khalids jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw the long string of juice that was stuck to the gusset!

I slowly looked around the caravan at my three students. They were like putty in my hands as they devoured my naked body with their eyes – they were going to be my sexual play-things for the rest of the night.

Do you still want me to …wank you off? I suggestively licked my lips and met Jonnys gaze, or would you like me suck it?

Ooh, Miss…suck me off…PLEASE MISS! Jonny pleaded.

I rested my knee on the seat and leant forward, jiggling my tits for him when I gently wrapped my fingers around his hot pink shaft. Perhaps it was stage-fright but it wasnt as hard now as when he had first flashed it at me; but I would soon put that right.

Does that feel good? I asked. The boy grinned and nodded. Lets see if the Teachers better at sucking cocks than her pupils?

Ahughaghaghooohhh. He groaned when I covered his swollen plum and kept on pushing until his squishy cock filled my mouth and my chin touched his hairy bollocks.

God his young cock tasted lovely…all hot and sweaty just how I like them. Years of practice came in useful as I began fucking his cock with my mouth as I breathed through my nose. Just as I hoped it instantly began to stiffen and filled my mouth so I had to eventually let most of it glide out so I could suck him comfortably and stroke his shaft and balls.

My head was spinning as I put on a show for his friends; slurping and sucking his dick like a porn actress.

Squeeze my tits! I whispered in between slurps.

Jonny slid his hand around my neck and began caressing my breast; making me gasp when he touched the nipple.

Squeeze them harder! I pleaded, Dig your fingers into my tits!

Oh fuck! he gasped but obeyed, digging his nails into my flesh and shaking my puppies like a kitten with a ball of wool.

When I felt his balls tighten and his breathing became shallower I tightly gripped the base of his shaft and making sure my breath engulfed his knob I looked up into his glazed eyes.

Miss! Im cumming! He warned me, MISS! My balls are aching…Im cumming!

Do you want to cum on the Teachers face? I teased Youd like that wouldnt you? Spunking all over her face!

Yes, yes, yes! He winced and manically nodded his head as I flicked my tongue across his japs-eye.

Go on then, I whispered as I furiously rubbed his shaft and aimed his piss-hole at my face.

I too was now squealing with delight as he tried to pull my nipple out of its roots when the first jet of hot teenage spunk splashed across my face, then another and the third landed in my eye.

Oh God! Oh fucking God…Miss! He gasped as I sucked the last dregs of salty spunk out of his cock.

Delirious with desire I raised myself up onto my feet. As his spunk dripped down my face I asked, Who wants to be next?

Me Miss! Me Miss! Fletcher shouted as he raised his arm in the air for attention, forgetting that he wasnt in class.

I picked my knickers off the floor and wiped the excess cum off my face then lay down next to him with my face in his lap.

His short stubby cock looked lovely as I licked some bitter pre-cum out of his tip.

As I stroked his cock I turned to the other two, I need one of you to lick my cunt.

They both looked shocked that Id used the C word. It hadnt dawned on me that the boys and I had probably used every other word in the dictionary during our sexy chat but at this moment in time it wasnt a vagina or a pussy between my legs it was a CUNT a hot and horny CUNT that needed a good tonguing.

Jonny instantly knelt on the floor and pulled my legs apart; staring at my hot pink gash.

Ive never done this before, Miss. What do I do? He looked at me excitedly.

Just lick it like its an ice cream then, I told him as I pulled the sticky flaps apart to expose my clitoris which was sticking out like a third nipple, then flick your tongue like crazy over that.

Ill try my best miss. He said in a soft voice. Even the boys calling me ‘Miss was becoming such a fucking turn-on!

Oooooohhhhh yeesssss! I moaned when he made his tongue glide up my groove.

He was a fucking natural; his untrained tongue lapped up my love juices and he sucked on my labia as his fingers stroked and caressed the inside of my thighs and the crack of my arse.

After a minute or so I bent over to greedily eat Fletchers fat prick. We moaned and groaned in unison as his cock fit perfectly into my mouth and Jonnys tongue fit perfectly into my sopping cunt.

Yeh….yeh…yeh…yeh! Fletcher kept gasping as he twirled my around his fingers as my mouth created a vacuum around his dick.

Without using words I made him spread his legs so I could get a tight grip on his hairless sack while I bobbed my head and swirled my tongue around the purple knob.

Oohya! I yelped when Jonnys tongue suddenly touched my clit making me jump and I let the cock slip out of my mouth.

YES….YES…YES! I cried out, Finger me! Finger me!

Jonny dutifully poked my twat with a long middle finger giving me a little bit of relief as I returned to my oral administrations on his fat friend.

Fletcher grabbed two handfuls of hair and began bouncing in his seat as he fucked my mouth. I met each thrust with a bob of my head as Jonny did wonderful things to my cunt and clit with his fingers and tongue.

My whole body seemed to convulse as I gave and received oral at both ends.

Aaaaaggghhh! Fletcher gasped as he neared orgasm.

More fingers! I shouted to Jonny as my own fingers furiously wanked the fat cock until it showered my face with thick lumpy spunk.

He inserted a second then a third finger and viciously licked my throbbing clit until I panted for air then WOW!!!! A mind blowing orgasm flooded my body. I didnt scream or cry out like I usually do…I just grinned myself silly as the sweetest feeling in the world engulfed my whole being as Fletcher covered my lips with solid globules of sticky cum.

My orgasm left me shattered so I flopped back against the cushions and gently stroked my tingling cunt for their amusement.

Khalid was now standing naked in the middle of the floor stroking a stiffy that looked like it was going to burst.

Come here baby, I whispered and patted the cushion nearest my head, and Teacher will take care of that ache for you!

He didnt need telling twice and was soon waving his dark uncut cock in front of my face. I couldnt wait either and immediately filled my mouth with my third rock hard teenage cock.

My tits…my tits! I moaned, Do what Jonny did and squeeze Teachers titties for her…nice and hard…hurt me!

His hairy olive fingers were soon mauling my mounds as I sucked his dark pipe for him.

Oh yes…thats good! I grunted with a mouth full of cock as he stretched my pink rosebud nipples as far as they would go, making me suck the life out of his young dong.

As the third boy to get his cock sucked I knew that he wouldnt last as long as the others and I was right. Khalid soon grabbed my head and forced his long thin dick past my tonsils and came straight into the back of my throat and down my neck.

I was now insatiable and judging by the three hard cocks that were in front of me so were they!

Now… fuck me! I called to Jonny as I lay flat on my back and spread my legs for my young lover, curling one ankle over the back cushion so that my hairy cunt was on show to the whole world.

With a huge grin on his face he knelt between my splayed legs and eagerly guided his six inches of throbbing cock into my willing hole.

Ooohhh yes baby! I panted as his cock filled me up, does that feel good fucking your teacher?

Yes Miss it does, he chuckled as he began thrusting his hips and forcing his cock into my belly, Its fucking…fucking amazing!

My head was shaking from side to side and I was playing with my over sensitive tits as Jonny proved to me that he hadnt been lying about fucking lots of girls at his tender age…he was quite a swordsman.

Fuck her mouth, Jonny told the others, one of you fuck her mouth…lets roast her!

The smile on my face would have lit up London when Khalid suddenly appeared next to my face and forced his cock past my lips for a second time.

I was in raptures as Jonny forced my legs back until my knees touched my tits making his long thick cock tickle the inside of my belly and the darker boy grasped two large handfuls of my mousey brown hair as he wildly fucked my mouth and throat. All I had to do was lie back and enjoy it as they now treat me as their sexual plaything for nearly fifteen minutes.

Jonny hadnt cum and sweat was pouring from his face when Fletcher begged him ‘for a go!

Okay, he panted, but Im not finished with her.He had hardly pulled his cock out when Fletcher lunged forward.

Wait! I gasped as I pushed Khalid away from my face, let me get on top…I want to cum again.

I positioned Fletcher so he was sitting on the sofa and I straddled him. His thick cock felt wonderful as it stretched my aching cunt. I quickly accustomed myself to his girth and rocked backwards and forward rubbing my clit against his pubic bone as I squashed my tits against his face.

The other two wandered off and opened the bottle of cider as I fucked their fat friend within an inch of his life!

No matter what I did to him; I couldnt cum. I bounced on his cock, I ground down hard, I twisted and rotated, I fucked him fast and I fucked him slow – nothing! I kept getting close but nothing.

I was becoming desperate when I spotted Jonny and Khalid whispering conspiratorially; then giggling like the teenagers that they were.

Jonny stood on the sofa and edged towards me waving his flaccid cock in front of my face. I didnt need asking twice and hungrily gobbled his young meat as I bounced on the fat cock in my cunt.

Id been with two guys at University once and had dreamt of doing it again; never dreaming that it would be with school kids; but tonight it seemed so much sexier and dirtier than in my fantasies; especially because they called it ‘spit-roasting.

If fucking and sucking two cocks was exciting Khalid soon moved the action up a gear!

As I ground my pussy down onto Fletchers cock Khalid began shaking my tits with one hand and stroking and nipping my arse with his other.

Go on. Jonny urged him as he held my head while I sucked and licked his rock hard shaft.

Khalid nervously ran a finger between my arse cheeks and hovered a finger tip over my anus as he rolled my nipple between his fingers then tugged on it just the way I liked.

Go on! Jonny was becoming agitated, Shes not stopping you, is she?

Without any warning he jabbed a bony finger past my sphincter and about in inch or more slid inside my arse making me gasp…with pleasure!

Ugh…ugh…good. I gurgled.

I fucking told you she would like it! Jonny admonished his young friend. Khalid soon realised that I was enjoying having his finger up my arse while the other two ‘roasted me he soon began twisting my nipples and finger fucking my arse with two fingers.

Fletcher broke off from suckling my tit to ask; have you ever been water-tight Miss?

What? I asked as Jonny sat on the top of the cushion watching the action.

Airtight you dozy cunt! The good looking boy laughed, Airtight!

I shook my head and raised my eyebrows to let him know I still didnt know what he meant.

There was a look of surprise then delight on his face as he told me; you take three cocks at once…one in each hole.

Id never heard of such a thing but the crazy grin on my face must have told him that I wanted to try it…NOW!

Right…get up bollocks face, Jonny said as he slapped Fletcher on the shoulder, lets change places.

We took a moment or two to decide who was going where and which would be the most comfortable way to perform this lewd sexual act.

As I gulped down a belly full of cool cider, we agreed that I would fuck Jonny, suck Fletcher and because he had the thinnest cock; Khalid would be the first to fuck my arse!

I was shaking with excitement as I fed Jonnys 6 inches into my well fucked cunt. When I was comfortable Khalid lined the tip of his dick against my puckered anus and spit a gobful of saliva between my cheeks as lubrication. I clung onto Jonny as Khalid slowly worked his cock into my virgin arse-hole.

Agh…ugh…ooh! I grunted through gritted teeth as my arse felt as if it was being torn in two.

Oh shit! The boys gasped in unison.

I can feel your fucking dick touching mine! Jonny giggled as only a thin membrane separated to hard cocks inside my body.

After making sure that the boys wouldnt budge I slowly rotated my hips and gently moved my arse so that their cocks moved a little bit as I became acclimatised to the feeling of being full beyond belief.

Okay, I nervously told them, but be gentle with me.

Thankfully Jonnys position meant that he couldnt be as forceful as he would have liked to be and my arsehole was too tight for Khalid to fuck too fast so I was soon nearly hallucinating with sexual elation.

After a couple of minutes I began to relax and the three of us began moving with a bit more freedom making me groan and moan and gasp and giggle with gratification.

Now…now! I gasped and nodded to Fletcher, Im ready…make me airtight!

Fletcher shuffled along the sofa and placed his purple knob on my bottom lip. I nodded my head and his fat cock stretched my mouth and jaw.

I snorted and gagged but I wasnt going to stop now! I could feel my poop-chute stretch and loosen up with every thrust from Khalid and the more relaxed I became the harder Jonny banged his cock into my cunt from down below.

Fireworks were soon going off in my head and clitoris as I began spontaneously orgasming. Little ones, big ones, short ones long ones…one after another untilI was just hanging on to the boys…like a limp rag.

Yes…yes…YES! Khalid wheezed as he rammed his dick into my arse like a fucking piston then suddenly stopped as he filled my shit-hole with his cream. His cock came out of my arse a lot easier than it went in!

Get off me! Jonny demanded as soon as the other boy stepped away. I want to fuck

your arse.

He virtually pushed me away in his haste to bugger me. As soon as he was standing behind me he forced me back onto my knees and spread my cheeks to view his friends handiwork.

Oh man, he exhaled noisily, that looks so fucking sweet…look… your spunks still coming out!

I was now trembling with anticipation as Jonny tentatively nudged his fat cockhead against my tingling anus. Khalid had stretched my poop-chute but Jonnys cock was definitely fatter and it still wasnt that easy for him to get his knob past my sphincter.

Aaaaahhhgggggg! I howled as he finally plunged his dick into my arse. As soon as the knob entered the rest just slid in like greased lightening. AaaaaaAAAGGGGHHHHHH you bastard! I screamed again when he began fucking my arse as hard as he had my cunt, but it didnt stop him.

I was biting my lip and had my face buried into a cushion to stifle the pain as he pummelled my arse with his thick six inches. The pain was becoming unbearable and electrifying so I didnt want him to stop.

Oh Jonny, Jonny, Jonny!I cried with tears of joy running down my face, Harder baby…harder…fuck my arse…fuck the teachers arse!

The teenager was now grunting like a wild animal as he revelled in the discomfort he was causing me.

Thats it…yes…yes…yes! he groaned as he speeded up just before he too filled my anal cavity with lovely teenage spunk.

When he withdrew his cock I could feel my hole gaping open and the overflowing spunk running down my thighs.

Its your turn now. Jonny wheezed and pushed Fletcher with the extra wide cock forward.

My arse was already stinging from the two buggerings Id just had but when Fletch pushed his fat mushroom in I gasped and felt like Id died and gone to Heaven. This boy was in no hurry and fucked my arse very slowly – each stroke nearly turning it inside out.

Oh baby, baby, I whined, that feels so fucking good. Youre making Teachers arse very, very sore and I fucking love it!

As the other two boys sat in front of me taking it in turns to feed their cocks into my mouth I panted, Thats it…faster…faster…fill my arse with your hot spunk…go on do it!

Hearing my husky voice sent him over the top and I felt my arse get warmer as he filled it with hot spunk.

Over the next hour or so the boys fucked me in every combination imaginable.

When I eventually collapsed, exhausted on the floor, my arse had been fucked ragged and my cunt was nearly worn out and my jaw was aching so much I could hardly speak; but I didnt care…this was the fucking of a fucking lifetime.

Id heard about the staying power of young boys but…shit… these boys were out of this fucking world.

I could hardly move the next morning when I woke up in a sleeping bag next to Jonny. I pulled on my top and skirt and hobbled to the shower block like John Wayne after a 200 mile horse ride.

I stood shivering with aches and pains under the hot shower; hardly able to wash myself as I relived the previous evenings events over and over and over again in my head.Pangs of guilt struck me as I got dressed in my tiny caravan but I reminded myself that the boys had promised to keep what we did a secret (hardly likely – I know) and after all in five days I would be on the other side of the world starting a new life in New Zealand.

https://www.superbestaudiofriends.org/index.php?members/olevridis.10679/#info

[shhh-no-ones-home]

skeleton key slash x reader

+++++++++ i wanted something cute and fluffy but ive been in a mood lately so here ya go lol, its kinda cute and fluffy but starts a little disconnected and stand-offish

i edited this but if i missed anything sorry lol

Song: ill always be around by waterparks

tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse @slashscowboyboots @smokeandmirrorz +++++++++

i sat against the wall of the dressing room and swirled the unopened bottle of beer against the tile floor in front of me. it made a mesmerizing sound as the glass scraped against the linoleum. it was the only thing really keeping my attention. it had been a rough couple of days and i wanted nothing more than to feel normal again.

i watched slash slide down the wall out of my peripherals, hearing him sigh as he hit the floor with his full weight. we sat in silence until i broke my trance, opening the bottle finally, i just stared down into it. slash cleared his throat but i didnt look at him.

"You okay?"

He asked, nudging my arm with his elbow. I took a quick swig of my beer, making a sour face at the taste.

"As okay as I usually am."

I sighed out.

"So not very?"

He asked, sending me a look. I looked over at him and shrugged.

"I'm sure things could be better but I'm living life one day at a time."

He shook his head.

"That's no way to live."

i sighed again, taking another drink.

"is it ever?"

he hummed.

"well no, but whats been up lately? you haven't really seemed like yourself."

i took another swig.

"havent i?"

i asked, raising a brow quickly. he frowned at me.

"none of us think so. the rest of the guys have noticed it too. you arent the same as you were a week ago."

i sighed, dropping my head back into the wall and looking to the ceiling.

"im lost."

he looked a little confused.

"youre lost?"

i looked over at him, watching his hair as it fell into his face.

"i dont know, my mood just tanked all of a sudden. i have no drive, i dont want to do anything. the only reason im here is because i have to be."

he tried to examine my face but i was on the whole expressionless.

"you couldve stayed on the bus, not that it wouldve helped, but you couldve."

i let out a short laugh, bringing the beer bottle to my lips.

"i thought getting out wouldve made an impact, ya know, keep myself busy to forget about it."

He nodded.

"it didnt."

I said and he sighed out, pinching the bridge of his nose. i looked back ahead of me, staring at the wall. we sat in silence for a bit until he shot up, drawing my attention and looking at him like he was crazy. he offered his hand to me.

"come on."

he said, more chipper now. i raised a brow.

"what?"

he shook his hand, wanting me to take it.

"come on, get up. we're going on an adventure."

i drew my brows before reluctantly taking his hand, setting my beer on the ground where i was just sat.

"where are we going?"

i asked as he pulled me out of the room and into the hall.

"It a surprise, but you have to come along to find out, thats why its an adventure."

i followed closely behind him, still unsure about the situation he was dragging me into. he walked comfortably down the hallway, looking from room to room as we went. i just watched him, trying to figure out what he was really after as we moved further into the venue. he nodded to the venue workers as we passed them, his grip on my hand getting tighter, making it known to them that we were attached. he relented as he ducked under pipelines and around mic stands. suddenly i was forced into someone.

"hey! watch where youre going!"

i heard as i looked up with wide eyes. in front of me was a large bald man with a stern gaze and i suddenly realized i was no longer tethered to slash. i looked to my suddenly empty hand in panic before looking back up the man.

"whats your deal?"

he asked, harshly. i looked around but the curly mess of hair was nowhere to be found. i breathed deeply.

"do you speak or are you just here to get in the way?"

the man said a bit louder. i jumped.

"no, i, i, uh-"

i stuttered out. he looked like he was waiting for an answer.

"you just gonna stand there looking stupid with your hand in the air or are you gonna move out of my way?"

he grunted out. then my hand got snatched away from me and i looked to slash with relief.

"sorry dude, i guess i lost my girl."

he apologized, pulling me to him. the man watched us as slash led us away from the man.

"keep her on a leash or something! i dont have time for road blocks!"

he called after us. slash waved his hand in the air.

"will do man."

he said before looking at me like 'yeah right' and making me giggle. slash looked around before ducking into an empty room.

"dude i thought id lost you there for a second. i saw one of the crew and went to squeeze your hand and i realized youre hand wasnt in mine anymore."

he let out a nervous laugh.

"it looks like i found you just in time though cause that dude looked like he meant business."

i nodded in agreement.

"yeah that was kinda scary."

we both laughed a little at the situation.

"but i found this place."

he said excitedly. i looked around, it was dimly lit but the furniture looked much better than the dressing rooms we were in. part of me wondered if it had been an office at one point but was now a storage room. i looked up as the light flickered overhead.

"spooky."

i said happily, raising my brows at him.

"well, im glad you like it cause i set this up for us."

i drew my brows as he took my hand again and led me around the bulky couch in the middle of the room. my mouth dropped at the layout of food, wine, and candles on the floor; all of it arranged on top of a black blanket.

"where did you get all of this?"

i asked, a bit shell-shocked. he half smiled at me, rubbing his arm.

"Well, i noticed youve been down for a bit and wanted to do something nice. i also figured we had a decent amount of time before the show starts so i went out and got this stuff earlier with a little help from duff and he helped me set it up. all i had left to get was you."

i could feel tears stinging my eyes. no one had really ever done anything this nice for me before and it made my heart ping. He really new what to do to make me feel better, he always did. i sent him a smile before pulling him in for a hug. he held me tightly to him, burying his face into my neck.

"thank you, slash, it means a lot."

i whispered against him. he pulled away and helped me sit.

"i wasnt sure exactly what you would like but we asked the lady at the shop down the street what she would want and thats just kinda what we got."

he said bashfully. i leaned over and kissed his cheek quickly.

"its great. really. it is."

i reassured as he started pouring two glasses of wine. he cleared his throat as he handed me one of the glasses.

"i, uh, also had a question for you while we're here."

he looked down at the blanket, and i almost thought i saw a small blush on his face but it was hard to tell in the low light.

"ask away."

i said raising  the glass to him in cheers and taking a sip. i watched as he swirled the liquid around in his own glass.

"well, i was wondering, if maybe youd want to go on a date with me. like officially."

i smiled widely at him.

"id love that."

he gladly returned the smile.

"great! i mean i know weve kind of gone on a date before but it wasnt legit, and yes i kind of blame axl for ruining that one-"

i laughed a little bit, shaking my head.

"lets call it a trial run."

i said, making him laugh too.

"well then i already feel more comfortable."

he clinked his glass against mine in cheers.

"same here."

i took a sip before setting the glass down and resituating to sit with my legs crossed under me.

"now, lets see what that lady made you buy."

i joked, prompting him to move the little basket he had acquired closer to me.

"dont blame me if its terrible."

he said through a laugh. i sent him a warm smile.

"thanks for this slash, you really know how to make a girl feel better."

he nodded.

"no, i know how to make you feel better, and i wouldnt have it any other way."

it was my turn to blush, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks at his words.

"im glad you have the thing that opens the door to my emotions or else this tour would be much harder."

i noted, taking a small box out of the basket and setting it next to me. he snorted.

"like a skeleton key to your happy place."

he said. i nodded.

"exactly!"

he laughed a little bit before taking another sip of his wine.

"you have no idea how happy that makes me."

he said, leaning back in his spot. i leaned over, close to him.

"the feeling is mutual."

i said lowly, watching his eyes flicker to my lips.

"can i kiss you?"

he whispered out, looking back to my eyes. i nodded. his hand found its way to my face, caressing my cheek gently. like a slow motion film, he moved forward, it felt like every anticipation building inside me before our lips finally met. it was soft and warm and he tasted like the wine. when he pulled away i felt like my home had been ripped from me and i missed it immediately.

"cant wait for that date."

he laughed out and i couldnt help the amused look on my face.

"likewise."

[lovelyshawnn]

Bodyguard!Shawn x Famous Reader imagine part 2

I nervously tapped my nail on the material of my clutch purse as my leg bounced up and down frantically as if it had a mind of its own. I didn’t even realize my nerve wracking habits until Walter reached over and placed his hand firmly on my shaking thigh, “Calm down, babe.”

I let out a breathy laugh, “Sorry, I’m just... a bit nervous.” Walter furrowed his brow at me, “Nervous? Since when were you ever nervous for an award show? We all know you’re going to kill it out there.”

I bit my lip. Walter was right, I typically never had this much anxiety before an award show. The only thing that made me nervous was the fact that tonight was the first time that me and Shawn were going to be in the same building in 3 months. 3 months since he left me with not even a days notice. Packed up all his stuff and flew across the world to work for Camila Cabello. “Camila is attending this award show.” I mumbled quietly. Camila attending meant... Shawn was also attending.

Walter pieced together the puzzle, raising his brows in surprise before patting my thigh and giving me a small smile to indicate that he understood and that he was here for me. Walter was the bodyguard that Chelsea hired for me once Shawn left. Walter was more built and taller than Shawn, but he was no Shawn. He couldn’t ever hold me or kiss me the way Shawn did. No one else ever could. I tried desperately to get over Shawn these past couple of months but I couldn’t help but have my mind wander off, thinking about the way Shawn would lazily draw shapes into my skin before we both fell asleep, or the way he always kept his hand at the small of my back when we walked through a crowd together.

“Alright, you ready?” Walter’s voice broke me out of my deep thought. I nodded before he took my hand and led me out of the small limousine that arrived at the VMAs red carpet. As soon as I walked out, cameras were flashing left and right. I walked to the backdrop to have my photo taken in the long, silky red dress that I wore with my hair curled.

As I was finishing up with an brief interview on the side of the red carpet, I caught a glance of a head of brown curly hair. There Shawn was, dressed in a grey suit that was different from his usual black and white outfit. Camila was laughing at a joke that he must’ve said, leaning on him and placing her hand on his bicep.

I stared and stared and I couldn’t look away no matter how furious the sight before me made me. At the very last second, Shawn looked up and made direct eye contact with me. His smile instantly dropped, and his mouth was left slightly agape at the sight of me.

Our stare was intense. It felt like we were the only ones in the room, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Shawn was the first one to take a step closer to me, before I was pulled out of my gaze.

“Y/N! They have crab cakes!” I heard Walter shriek like a little girl as he grabbed onto my hand and led me to the food table. I laughed at his excitement over a simple fucking appetizer as we loaded up our plates with food.

“So, hows Ryan?” I asked while shoving my face full of food. “Oh, hes great! We were just thinking about moving in together, actually” Walter replied with a beam of light that always appeared when someone mentioned his boyfriend. Walter and I have gotten extremely close over the past few months since we spend basically every waking second together, and I definitely considered him one of my closest friends. I was so happy that at least he could find some love and happiness.

The night dragged on and on as I watched people perform, and socialized with the people around me. It was a fun night, but lets face it. The only thing on my mind was Shawn. The whole night was honestly a dreadful blur, until the afterparty happened.

The afterparty was hosted at some club downtown and I just wanted to come drink my sorrows away and forget about Shawn. “I’m gonna go use the restroom, I’ll meet you at the bar?” Walter said before I nodded and split up from him.

I walked to brightly lit bar and flagged down the bartender, ordering me and Walter’s usual drinks. “2 margaritas and some vodka shots, please!”

“You still drinking those fruity little cocktails, love?” A deep voice rang in my ear and I instantly felt a shiver go down my spine. I looked to my side and saw the face that I was so desperately trying to forget for the night. Shawn.

A wave of anger washed over my body. Who did he think he was, leaving me without a warning and ignoring every text and call for months, and then walking up to me with some stupid ass remark? I rolled my eyes. “You still fucking every girl you work for?”

I downed a shot and felt the liquid sting my throat. Shawn shook his head nonchalantly, “I could say the same for you. Moved on quick, maybe?”

A loud lough erupted from my throat. “Yeah, well, I move on quite quick when I didn’t even get a say in anything,” I said, rolling my eyes before grabbing my drinks and making my way away from the bar. I was stopped as a warm hand grasped onto my arm.

“Aw c’mon now, don’t be like that honey,” Shawn said as he leant into me and brushed a piece of my hair away from my face and tucked it neatly behind my ear. Normally, this close proximity would have me weak at the knees. But the stench of alcohol from Shawn’s breath made me feel disgusted. “You’re unbelievable,” I said before pushing him off of me and watching him stumble to regain balance before I sauntered away from him and outside of the club.

I just needed a minute outside alone to get some fresh air before heading back inside. I leaned my back against the brick wall behind me, letting my head fall back and my eyes fall closed. I took a deep breath in. Just try to forget him. You don’t mean anything to him, so he shouldn’t mean anything to you. Just forget h-

“I’m sorry.” My thoughts were cut off by that god awful, stupidly soft voice that Shawn had. I laughed sarcastically, “You’re sorry?? You left! I told you that I loved you and you just left!” I was screaming at the top of my lungs in front of everyone but I just couldn’t hold in my anger any longer.

“I had to leave! I couldn’t fucking stand seeing you and Charlie all lovey dovey and shit!” Shawn fought back, obviously sobering up by the minute.

“Well I can’t fucking stand seeing you right now so get the hell out of my face, Shawn!” I yelled back with the same amount of anger.

Before I could even see it, Shawn had me pressed up against the wall with his hands on my hips and his lips massaging mine. For some reason, I couldnt fight it as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. Our tongues fought for dominance before he pulled back just a little bit for air. His breathing was rugged and shaky as he whispered, “I love you.”

He kissed me again, smashing his lips onto mine before I could even process his words. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he said while pecking my lips. “I love you and I have always loved you. I just couldn’t tell you I loved you because it would only hurt you more when I left. I was just trying to protect you, but I... I fucked up, Y/N. I’m sorry.”

I stared at him blankly, unable to break away from my state of shock. He took my silence as a cue to keep talking. “I understand if you never want to see me again, but I need you to know that I will always love you.”

I smiled, leaning up to plant a small kiss on his lips again. “I love you too.” Shawn grinned from ear to ear at my response, “So you-“

“Y/N! I’ve been looking for you!” Walter’s loud and worried voice interrupted our moment. Shawn rolled his eyes at the sight of his replacement. “Oh for fucks sake, not this guy...” he mumbled angerly.

“Shawn. He’s gay.”

Shawn’s face immediately grew red as he tried to hide his blush by burying his face in the crook of my neck. “You really couldn’t have told me that earlier? I was pissed the whole night about him.”

“You really couldn’t have confessed your undying love for me earlier? I missed out on a lot of orgasms” I replied.

“Touche.” Shawn and I giggled before he pulled me in closer and moved his warm lips closer to the cold shell of my ear due to the cold nighttime LA air, “Lets go home now and see if I can make up for that, yeah?

a/n: this was long long long overdue im so sorry guys !! but part 2 is finally out!!

[reeree1500]

His Aphrodisiac...Part 2 Vampire Ivar! x Reader

Disclaimer: Smut 😏(an attempt), spelling and grammar mistakes😬 and my cliched imagination🤣Thank you for all the love and support💕☺️

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @oceans-daughter-3  @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @wuxiesalt @supernaturalvikingwhore @readsalot73 @affection-rabbit @blonddnamedhandz @paintballkid711 @ivarthethiccness @limbo-limbo-limbo @funmadnessandbadassvikings 

Weeks had gone by after our steamy session in Ivar’s office. I still couldn’t process the fact that he was a vampire. That ancient tale of a monster who sought nothing but blood was true. However, he had proved otherwise. Ivar didn't seem like the type of person to go around sucking people’s blood just because he felt like it. No, he was the type that when I had a problem he would make it disappear. Like Johnathan, my ex-fiancee who wouldn't stop harassing me. As soon as Ivar had found out about him, he never showed up again. It was as if he had disappeared into thin air. Of course I was relieved at the time, but now I cant help but think about if Ivar had anything to do with it...

----------------------

it was the night of the annual Lothbrok Corp dinner. Only a select few people from the office were to attend as many of our sister branches would also send their representatives. Not to mind the fact that the founders of Lothbrok corp would all be there as well, with their friends and family. This year the dinner had been set to occur at Ivar’s mansion upstate. This included a secluded area where the next house wouldnt be in sight for miles. Ivar was a man of privacy and now I could understand why. The dinner was to start in an hour and I had yet to finish my makeup. I wasn't really one to amazing at it, but I knew what would compliment my (y/s/t) complexion. As I finish applying my mascara, I take one last look in the mirror before heading out to the kitchen to find my phone and call an Uber. Taking my coat in one hand and juggling my keys, phone and purse in the other. I manage to somehow lock the door, but not before I’m met with a pair of electric blue eyes. “I..Ivar. W...What are you doing here?” I manage to say through my shock. 

“You haven't returned any of my calls or messages since that night (y/n). I wouldn't admit this to anyone else, but I was genuinely worried about you.” He trails off as he says the last part whilst avoiding my gaze. “Ive just had a lot on my mind, Ivar. Im sorry.” I say looking anywhere except his eyes, knowing full well the effect they had on me. In a flash Ivar stepped away from the limousine, took my coat and placed it on his arm and grabbed my hand dragging me towards it. “Ivar what are you doing my Uber’s here.” “I gave him 100 bucks and sent it away. You're coming with me.” He whispers the last part close to my ear before shoving me inside the limo. His tone of voice wasn't all the way warm, it had hints of his icy personality in them and made it hard to breathe for me.

-------------

The car ride was awkward and filled with lots of tension. Ivar tried multiple times to start a conversation with me, but I paid him no mind. I sat as far away as possible from him, I could swear that there were times where I thought that I would fall out the door. His hands would “accidentally” (as he said) wander all over my legs, tracing patterns and ever so often trailing even higher. It took everything in me to  ignore his advances, and he knew very well the effects his touch had on me. His mere touch created a pool of wetness down there and the bastard knew it. Before his hand could go any further, the view of a great mansion surrounded by nothing but trees caught my eye. “Woah, that's huge.” I said as I looked out the window. “And its all yours (y/n), if you’d just have me.” Ivar says as he turns my head and stares into my (e/c) eyes. Getting lost in his electric blue orbs I lose all sense of why I was upset at him. It’s as if it’s only us two and the whole world disappeared when I look at him. Before either one of us could act upon our feelings once again, we’re interrupted by the driver as he pulls up in front of the house. “Oh for fucks sake! Someone is always interrupting us!” Ivar screams out, startling me a little as his eyes began to glow. His sudden outburst made me want to run away, but also made me feel as if I should have calmed him down.  Ivar turns to me and he just stares, no sudden movements or words just a blank stare. In seconds Ivar is out of the car and opening the door for me. If I hadnt known that he was a vampire I could've sworn that it had all been a fix of my imagination and that he truly wasnt there.

-------------------

As Ivar led from the limo inside the mansion, I couldnt help but admire the artwork and intricate design of his house. It was something truly unexpected from him. Once inside the ballroom Ivar had disappeared, I guess to greet everyone and say hello to his family. Whom I know he hasn't seen for the longest time. I however, am very overwhelmed and I think it may have to do with the fact that everybody’s eyes are on me. I don't do very well in public scenarios like this one and all the attention is making me a little sick. There was security all over the place and although intimidating I knew that I had to find a washroom as quickly as possible, so I could lock myself in there all night. The bodyguard didn't even speak, he just pointed towards the stairs and went back to acting as if I wasnt there. Shrugging it off I make my way up the stairs only to find a corridor with an exceptional amount of doors. Internally cursing myself I make my way down and knock on every door, but they're all locked. I almost gave up until I saw the double doors on the right. Obviously this couldn't be bathroom, but at this point I didn't care, I just had to find a place to stay till it was time to go. 

As I opened the double doors Im greeted by an awfully dark lit room, with intricate black designs. The cravings on the bed posts and the paintings around are those of ancient nordic runes, something that led me to believe that this might have been Ivar’s room. I knew of his great admiration foe his background, he loved anything that had to do with nordic beliefs and ancient gods. Making may way inside Im transfixed by all the artwork and details around me that I fail to acknowledge the presence that lies in the corner of the room. “So, I seem you've made yourself acquainted with my room already, (y/n)” Ivar says as he walks out of the shadows with his crutches? “Oh my God, Ivar are you okay? I literally left you for less than an hour and you've already gone an injured yourself! Wait, I dont mean to sound like a bitch/ignorant or anything, but why do you have crutches? Aren't like vampires supposed to be like physically invincible?” I said all in one breath, as Ivar just cocked his head to the side and stared at me. “You honestly believe everything that the media tells you, dont you?” Point taken, all I knew about vampires were form shows, movies and books that were then turned into movies or shows. “Anyway, before I became a vampire, I was actually a viking. Hence all the nordic runes everywhere and the massive tattoo on my chest and back. My family was very rich and my father Ragnar was king. However, unlike my siblings I was born without function in my legs. Which is why I use those metal braces in the corner over there while I'm in public, and these only around people I trust.” He says moving closer to me. “Now, tell me as to what drew you to come in to my room without me, (Y/n).” Ivar says as he draws my name longer than he has to, in a very sensual tone that makes my knees tremble.

“(y/n), give in. Dont fight it, we were meant to be. You're the reason I can finally feel alive. If it weren't for you, I probably would've kept roaming this world with no sense of purpose. I know you feel this connection. So once again , will you let me take care of you?” And in that moment all senses had been thrown out the window.

Ivar closed the gap with his hot mouth against yours. You gasped as you felt the heat spiral through you, as you ran your fingers through his soft locks. Throwing the crutches to the side Ivar manages to pick you up the hips and deepens the kiss. The sensual dance between your tongue and his is soon over as you cave in to his dominance and let his explore your mouth, slowly with deliberate movements. “Ahhhh...” A moan escapes your lips as his lips move down to your neck. “Since I saw you in that dress earlier tonight, it took everything in me to not act on impulse.” Making his way to the bed, Ivar lays you gently on the back satin sheets and holds himself up as his roam over your body in admiration. Ivar then looks at you for permission as his fingers begin unlacing and unzipping your dress. As Ivar kisses along to every spot that is unveiled to him, goosebumps begin to raise along your skin. You had longed for this moment for awhile, but had denied yourself of the pleasure due to your fear. Oh how stupid could I have been you thought to yourself as you relish in the pleasure that this man brought you every time he kissed and caressed you. “You're so beautiful...” Ivar says as he touches you with reverent fingers, as he begins caressing that part of your body that is not very often explored.

His fingers begin tracing the inside of my hips as his head dips down to my flower. Ivar takes my clit into his mouth and gently bites it, bringing a pleasure that I cannot describe. My hips buck up to him on their own accord asking for more. But he holds me down and brings his face up to mine. His intense gaze had distracted me for a second as his ministrations towards my clit were over. But before I could beg him and ask him for more, it was as fi Ivar had already beat me to it. In a flash he had dipped and curled 2 of his massive fingers into my hole. Pumping them in at an alarmingly fast rate. “I..Ivar, that feels so good!” I manage to say through my moans that are increasingly louder as I throw my head back from all this pleasure. Ivar’s pace becomes steady and his lips are now focused on my right breast, kissing and caressing it as if it were his favourite thing in the world. My hands uncurl form the sheets and move towards his head caressing it and then bringing it up so that I could kiss him. This time I wanted to show him that I too cared for him. And all that fear had been washed away, this man had been everything to me the minute I started working for him and Would be damned if I let him get away. Vampire or not! 

Bringing him in for a kiss Ivar tries to take control and dominate again, but this time I would be in control. I manage to shock Ivar with the lack of submission that he’s used to seeing from me. I use this to my advantage and flip us over. Trying to not hurt him in the process. I break apart our kiss and stare deeply into his eyes as our heave breaths begin to entangle with each other and become one. I slowly remove his fingers from my hole, much to his dismay. And before he could protest I place my finger to his lips. “You've shown me how much you care for me. Time and time again Ivar. Let me show you that I care too.” At this his eyes hold admiration, surprise, and hints uncertainty. Making my way down his body, I leave trail of kisses form his chest all the way down to his legs. Taking my time kissing every part of them and staring into his eyes with love and tenderness, which he mirrors in his gaze towards me. I then make my way up to his long and already hard cock. Oozing with loads of precum.  Licking the excess I take as much as I can into my mouth as I wrap my hangs around the base his very thick and long shaft. Pumping and bobbing my head I can feel and hear Ivar’s pleasure. His hands wrap around my (h/l)(h/c) hair and his hips thrust forward. I can see that he is reaching his high and before I could make him cum, he pulls out of my mouth. “I’d like to cum inside you, if you'd let me (y/n)” He says as his hands pull my face into a heated kiss.

Climbing on top of him I go to position myself on his member. However, Ivar flips us around so that he is the one on top. I could only look at him in shock for a second before my eyes roll back as I feel him thrust into me with one swift movement. My hands wrap around his torso, and claw at his back from the overwhelming sense of pleasure. Our moans become a melody to my ears, but soon I can feel myself reaching that high. “Ivar.....Im gonna” “I know baby, me too.” And just like that with a few more of his powerful thrusts Ivar and I reach our edge. Ivar and I stare into each others eyes with admiration and love. My hands without thought brush the strands from his hair away from his sweaty face. “Dont leave me ever again (y/n), I mean it. Those weeks that went by were probably the hardest of my life.” He breathes out as he caresses my face and body so gently, as if he were thinking that I would just vanish right there. “I would never think of leaving you again, ever. Im your aphrodisiac after all. What would you do without me?” And without a care in the world we lied in each others arms whilst the party roared downstairs, and the host nowhere to be found.

[find-the-eyes]

I’ll Try Anything Once: Chapter 36

Written by: Sol, Allegra Edited by: Beth, Allegra, Sol

“Nick, calm down.”

Nick felt a hand on his leg once again and opened his eyes to see that he was furiously kicking and thrashing. The only difference from last time was that this kicking and thrashing wasn’t purposeful, and it didn’t feel good at all. And it wouldn’t stop. Nick did everything in his power to calm his flailing legs, but he couldn’t. He had never felt so helpless. His arms thrashed out at his sides. Where was Alex? He arched off the bed, gagging as his breathing tube shifted. His blanket came undone and dropped to the floor. He felt himself sliding towards the edge of the bed to join it.

“Nick!” He felt hands on both of his legs now, and a hand on either arm. Through his half-lidded eyes he saw three nurses, doing their best to restrain him as his legs kicked out and convulsed wildly. His arms thrashed violently now, the IVs in his forearms nearly ripping out of his skin. After a few minutes, Nick felt his body slowing down, suddenly crashing from his wild attack. His head lolled to the side as he felt hands adjusting his breathing tube, gently bringing him back to reality. His head was spinning and he couldn’t stop tears escaping from his eyes.

Two of the nurses talked in hushed voices at the doorway, glancing back at Nick occasionally. Finally, after a few moments, they returned to Nick’s side.

“You’re going to have a brain scan later,” the blonde nurse said. “We need you awake for it, so we’re going to take you off the sedatives for now.”

Nick couldn't even find the strength to nod, so he simply looked at her, hoping she understood.

She put the communication board on Nick’s lap. “Would you like to do anything while we’re waiting to do the brain scan? Your friends are art students, right? Would you like to draw?”

Yes.

“Alright, I’ll be right back.”

Don’t leave. Don’t leave.

“Ah…” She glanced around the room and spotted the notebook that was still sitting on the counter from when Alex was writing in it a few days before. “Is this ok?”

Yes. Thank you.

Nick held the notebook close, and as soon as the nurse left he opened it to a blank page. He grabbed the pen next to him and just started writing. He didn’t know where the words were coming from, but they needed to get out. His arms jerked and twitched as he wrote, but he tried to fight it. This was important.

When he finished, he folded the letter with shaky hands and laid it on the bedside table, not even bothering to read it over. He had barely placed the pen on the table before his head fell back and he drifted off to sleep, all of his energy gone. All he could hope was that Alex would understand.

A couple of hours later, Nick awoke to a hand on his arm and a gentle voice calling his name. He opened his eyes slowly to the information that they were taking him back for the brain scan. His leg kicked out again.

“It won’t hurt, and it won’t take long,” the nurse reassured him. Nick closed his eyes again, trying to believe her.

—

Alex found the neurology office fairly easily. It was a small room in a distant hallway, far from anything Alex had seen in the hospital before. So many people are suffering here. Is Nick one of the worst? Alex shook the thought and entered the small office when he was called.

“Hi, Alex,” the doctor said when he went in. Her calming energy immediately made Alex feel more at ease.

Alex greeted her and sat down at the desk, not knowing what to say. “Is Nick alright?” he finally managed, fiddling with one of the pens on the desk.

“Well, it doesn’t appear that the kicking and thrashing were anything more than a bad reaction to the sedatives. His reaction increased when they gave him more, and so on.”

“Why did he react like that?”

“Here.” The doctor showed Alex the scan of Nick’s brain. “He has a bit of damage to the language processing and speech areas of his brain, as well as some executive functions like decision making and general cognition. Has he ever mentioned that to you?”

“Yeah, actually,” Alex realized, “he had a different lung injury before all of this and said he had some brain damage from a lack of oxygen.”

“That explains it, then. Does he act normal, usually?”

Alex thought for a moment. “He does have some unusual behaviors, but… he doesn’t need to be normal. He’s perfect to me.”

“Unusual behaviors?” The doctor leaned closer to Alex. “Can you tell me what you mean?”

“Uhh…” Alex felt uncomfortable talking about Nick’s issues with a complete stranger, when he wasn’t there to speak up for himself. “Well, he has bad dreams a lot...he’s stolen some things before...he has trouble reading and speaking, and he doesn’t always make eye contact when he’s talking to someone new.” Alex paused, then continued with a sigh. “Nick told me that it all started with the initial brain damage that he got from being shot. He doesn’t really have any physical issues, though.”

The doctor nodded. “All of that definitely could be connected to how he reacted. We think the thrashing was caused by a reaction with the part of his brain that controls movement. Rather than turning off, like it usually does with sedatives, it tried to reject them. Because of that, his body didn’t want to accept the sedatives.”

“Oh…” Alex nodded along thoughtfully and pretended to understand what the neurologist was telling him.

“The good news is that he’s been off the sedatives for a few hours now and he’s doing perfectly fine! You’re allowed to go see him now, if you’d like.”

Alex beamed and thanked the neurologist as he left the small office.

—

Alex walked into Nick’s room to find him fast asleep. He smiled when he saw that the IV giving him sedatives had been removed. He walked over to Nick and brushed the hair off his forehead. Nick stirred at the touch and his eyes lit up when he realized that it was Alex. He lifted his right arm and stretched it out as far as he could, smacking his palm against the bedside table. Alex blinked in confusion for a moment before he noticed the folded paper atop the table. “Is this for me?” he asked. Nick gave him a weak thumbs up of approval.

At that moment, a nurse rushed in, saying something about needing to check on Nick. She rushed Alex out of the room before he could even ask Nick about the piece of paper.

Once he was alone in the hallway, Alex unfolded the piece of paper. He held it gently, trying to decipher Nick’s messy handwriting.

--

A lex

Thank you so much for putting up with me Im sory you have to see me like this It hurts a lot so bad and Im scared but pleas dont worry I cant wait to go home and pet Steckrübe again and Play music again but not do anyt hin g dumb this time Because I Ive learned now maybe I shouldnt stage dive until they tell me its okay

But right now it hurts I want to go home but they wont let me I want t o get up but they won’t let me I Miss being able to speak I dont feel like I have a body anmore it just hurts so much But  when youre here I forget You make me happy  Please bring Steck next time I miss him

I’m sorry I didn't listen to you I feel like a bad Flatmate Im sory I cant do anthing to help you out

Im scared I wont get better it Hurts it hurts and I dont know why it hurts so much I still cant breathe Im Scared I wont be able to

My body is kicking thrashing I cant stop it wont stop Im so   tired but I cant sleep it wont Help Im terrified

You saved me

I want to be with you Im sorry I couldnt tell you that niht  it hurt too bad I want to be yours

I love you so much Alex Ive loved you from the first night you Visited me at the prisonn You accept me ffor who I am and you ne ver get mad at me Evn when I deserve it I deseve it 

Thank you Than k you Thank you for saving me I love you I love you I love you Alex I love you

--

Alex braced himself against the wall, trembling as he clutched the paper. Nick loves me. He meant it the other day. And I didn’t listen.

Alex folded the piece of paper again and ran back into the room as soon as the nurse left. The heart monitor started beeping faster than Alex had ever seen it beep before as he approached Nick’s bed. He laughed softly and believed for a moment that Nick was giving a small smile as well. Was he? Maybe it was just the lighting. Alex ignored the beeping and held Nick’s hand. “I love you too,” he said softly. “So much. And you're going to get better.” Alex ran a hand through Nick’s hair. “And I’m sorry for trying to talk about our relationship when you were in so much pain. I should have known better.” Nick started furiously tapping the I love you box on his board, blinking back tears as he looked up at Alex.

Suddenly, a nurse rushed into the room. “Is everything alright in here?” she asked, obviously concerned by the sudden, rapid beeping. Alex dropped Nick’s hand, instantly brought back to the reality of the situation as he remembered the condition Nick was in. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t form the words.

“Just…don't get him overexcited, yeah?” the nurse sighed as Nick’s heart rate slowed back to normal. “He’s still in critical condition and we want him to make it out alive, after all.”

“Alright,” Alex said sheepishly. The nurse gave him a stern look and walked out.

Nick’s eyes were bright, but he wasn’t smiling. He couldn’t. There was no way he could do anything more than move his eyes and his hands. He still had to make it out of the hospital alive before Alex could even think about the future. Was it better to be hopeful or to prepare himself for the worst?

Alex looked back down at Nick and realized that his eyes were still so full of love, searching for an answer from Alex, an answer neither of them could find.

“I love you, Nick,” Alex ran his hand through Nick’s hair, “I really do.”

[oh-ranpo]

more than a pretty face. (2)

Pairing: Ben Hardy x OC AN: This is going to go back into the past a little bit, just before the Golden Globes. Just as a little heads up. All of this is completely fictional of course, but just so you have an idea of the timeline here. Let me know what you think! Tags list is open, just send me a message to be added. Warnings: Cheating, drinking

All anyone could talk about were the Golden Globes. Even though it was still a few weeks away, as soon as the boys found out that they were nominated, there had been instant celebration and constant talk over what they were going to wear and what they were going to do if they won.

Charlie had been so excited for them, knowing just how much they all deserved it. While Ben had already been over the U.S. for a while staying with Sophia, once the nominees were announced, Gwilym, Lucy and Allen had flown over to celebrate. Charlie had suggested throwing a party at her place, since it was the biggest, and they had happily taken her up on her offer. She was the only one in the group who had a townhouse that could accommodate everyone who was sure to be coming.

Normally, Charlie might have been a little more apprehensive about having so many people she didn’t know well in her living space, but she was willing to make an exception for this. It was such a big moment, and the perfect way to start the awards season.

“Thank you so much for letting us have this party at your places, Charles,” Joe said cheerfully, as he wrapped his arm around his brunette friend. Charlie could tell that he had already had quite a bit to drink, considering he had broken out his ‘Charles’ nickname that he knew she despised. It only reared its ugly head when he was drunk and when he knew that she wouldn’t get mad at him.

“Of course, Joey. You guys deserve it,” Charlie replied, smiling brightly at him.  

There was loud music playing in the living room, and there were people milling about all over the place. Most people Charlie recognized as either other cast members from Bohemian Rhapsody, or as friends from other movies. No one had told her exactly who had been invited, only to expect a lot of people to come. They weren’t wrong.

As Charlie moved to see to it that the bar was fully stocked, Joe bounded off to greet someone that he hadn’t seen in a while. The party had been going for almost an hour now, and Charlie still hadn’t seen Ben or Sophia anywhere. She couldn’t complain though. Not having to see Sophia’s face was more than enough thanks for throwing this party.

The crowd seemed to get denser the closer to the kitchen she got, and just as Charlie was able to push her way into the room, a voice called her name and she felt her stomach drop. She hesitantly turned in the direction of the voice, and put on her best fake smile as Sophia’s best friend, Wren, moved towards her.  

While Wren wasn’t nearly as bad as Sophia, the entire time that Charlie had known her, she had been trying to sleep with Joe. As far as Charlie could tell, Joe was nowhere near interested, but that didn’t stop Wren from asking about him anytime she had the misfortune of bumping into her. Also, the fact that Wren was here meant that Sophia was also there somewhere. The thought made Charlie nauseous.

“Charlie, oh my gosh, I’ve been looking all over for you! What an amazing party!” Wren’s blue eyes were wide, and Charlie had a hard time telling whether she was being genuine or if she was just faking it in hopes of getting in good with Joe. Either way, Charlie wasn’t buying it.

“Thanks, Wren. Of course, it was all put together by Joe and Rami. I just provided the space.”

Wren’s face lit up at the mention of Joe’s name, and just as she opened her mouth to launch into twenty questions about him, Charlie was knocked to the side, a sarcastic ‘sorry’ being muttered as someone pushed past her. She wasn’t at all surprised to look up and see Sophia smirking smugly at her, while Ben trailed behind her like a lost puppy. His eyes met hers for a brief second, and Charlie thought that she might have seen a bit of an apology in his expression, but he had disappeared into the crowd before she could be sure.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go and check to make sure the rest of the kitchen is one piece. I’ll talk to you later,” Charlie excused herself, ignoring the fact that Wren’s face fell at her dismissal. Deep down, Charlie hoped that the big crowd kept her, Wren, and Sophia as far from each other as possible.  

The urge for another drink consumed her, and Charlie grabbed a plastic cup from the stack at the end of the bar and made her way down to where the keg was sitting. There were several people hovering around it, but they all parted for her as she grabbed for the tap. After filling her cup up completely, Charlie turned to make sure that everything else was in order, and was surprised to see that all the drinks had already been restocked. She figured Rami or Lucy must have come in at some point, and made a mental note to thank them later.  

Charlie pushed back through the crowd, and when she made it back into her living room, she smiled when she saw Rami, Lucy, Joe, Gwilym, Allen and Ben chatting happily amongst one another. Lucy was perched on Rami’s lap in the lounge chair, and Joe, Gwil, Ben, and Allen were all smashed together on the couch opposite them. Rami looked up and smiled as Charlie entered the room, drawing everyone else’s attention to her as well.

“Charles!” Joe cried happily, and Charlie rolled her eyes. He eagerly patted the armrest next to him, but she just shook her head. Sitting next to him would require crawling over almost everyone’s laps, and she wasn’t about to do that.

“Are you guys having a good time?” she asked, bringing her cup to her lips to take a drink. All of them nodded simultaneously, each one wearing a giant smile with the exception of Ben.

“Oh, it’s just wonderful. Thank you so much for doing all of this for us, Charlie. You are the best,” Lucy gushed as she removed herself from Rami’s lap and walked over to wrap her in a hug. Lucy was always so sweet, but just like with Joe, Charlie could tell that she had already had quite a bit to drink. All of them looked like they had.  

“Really, it’s nothing. Hopefully in a month we will be able to have an even bigger celebration.”

Lucy left one of her arms draped across Charlie’s shoulders, but she didn’t mind. She wasn’t normally the touchy-feely type, but when it came to this group, it was something she had been forced to get over quite quickly.  

It was several more minutes before Charlie realized that, besides Lucy, it really was just all the guys. Sophia was nowhere to be seen. The thought of having her running amuck in her house made Charlie nervous, so she quietly excused herself to see if she could locate her. She didn’t say anything to anyone about what she was doing, because she knew if she brought it to Ben’s attention, he would get offended and the entire night would be ruined. Charlie cursed under her breath when she realized that there were still a ton of people around, making her search even harder. Sophia was not a tall person, so spotting her in the crowd was going to be difficult.  

She started with the main floor, searching through the dining room and kitchen, but found nothing. She then headed into the lower level where people had set up some drinking games, but the crowd was sparse, and after one glance, Charlie could tell that she wasn’t down there either. She could feel a knot form in her throat at the thought of her being on the top floor, where only her bedroom, the guest bedroom, and another bathroom were located. When she made it upstairs, at first, the area looked empty. But then, Charlie noticed that the guest room door was shut. She was just about to reach out and open it when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“Charlie? What are you doing?”  

She must have looked suspicious, because when she turned to face Ben, he gave her a questioning look.

“I was just checking to make sure everything was okay up here. I mean, this is my house. I can go wherever I want,” she huffed in response. “What are you doing up here?”  

Ben narrowed his eyes and gestured down the hall towards the bathroom.

“The bathroom downstairs was taken and Joe said that there was another one up here.”

Charlie nodded curtly, and then both of their attention was stolen by a loud crash and then a giggle coming from inside the guest bedroom. Charlie turned quickly, and Ben laughed.

“Sounds like someone is having a little fun in there.”

Charlie cringed at the thought, and reached out to push the door open. Regardless of who it was, she didn’t want someone getting it on in her guest bed. She was already going to have quite the mess to clean up.

As soon as the door swung open, Charlie inhaled sharply when she saw a half-dressed Sophia sitting on the edge of the bed while another man was sprawled out across the floor. The loud thud had apparently been him falling off the bed.

“Soph- Sophia?”  

For a moment, Charlie had forgotten that Ben was right behind her. In his curious state, he had moved closer to see who was causing all the commotion, and for the first time since she had met him, Charlie felt sorry for him.

“Oh my God, Ben! Honey, it’s not what it looks like!” Sophia struggled to remove herself from the tangle of sheets, but Ben was already gone. Charlie could hear his footsteps racing down the stairs, and the man that was on the floor leaned up against the bed, clearly confused as to everything that was going on. Sophia grabbed her shirt and shorts in haste, but when her eyes landed on Charlie, she glowered at her.

“You did this on purpose!” she hissed, pulling her shirt over her head and stumbling over towards the doorway. “You’ve always been jealous of Ben and I!”

The accusation made Charlie laugh, and even though Sophia was giving her a look that could kill, she didn’t feel threatened in the slightest.

“Oh no, sweetie. You brought this upon yourself.”

When she finally stumbled back into her pants, Sophia pushed past Charlie in the doorway and disappeared down the stairs, leaving Charlie alone with the stranger.

“I think it goes without saying, but you really need to leave,” Charlie said, as she pulled the door closed behind her so the man could get changed. A few seconds later, Gwilym bounded up the stairs, a bewildered look on his face.

“What just happened? Ben came storming through the living room, mumbling something about leaving and then Sophia chased him outside with her shirt on wrong side out.”

Charlie tried not to laugh, considering the delicacy of the situation, but before she could reply, the man exited the guest bedroom and sheepishly squeezed past them to head downstairs. Charlie’s eyes met Gwilym’s and a look of understanding crossed his face.

“Damn, poor Ben.”

The sympathy that Charlie had been feeling for Ben dissipated and instead frustration took its place.

“This has been happening for a long time, Gwil. You know it, I know it, we all know it. It’s his fault for not opening his eyes to it sooner.” A sad look crossed Gwilym’s face, and Charlie already knew what he was going to say before he said it. It was the same thing all the guys had been saying when the issue got brought up. “And no, love is not that complicated.”

Charlie made her way back downstairs, and saw that several people had already left. The mood of the room had shifted considerably, and without saying, people seemed to realize that something had happened. The rest of the BoRhap crew still sat in the living room, but their eyes were watching the stairs, waiting for her to come back down and explain what had happened, even though they were all sure they could guess.

“Is he going to be okay?” Allen asked first, as Charlie took the empty seat next to him. Charlie shrugged.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.”  

A somber kind of quiet fell over the group, a complete contrast to the upbeat dance music that was blasting through the speakers. The evening’s celebrations had been ruined, and now all anyone could think about was Ben and how he was handling what had just happened. Rami excused himself after a few minutes, and Charlie knew that he was going to go try and find him.  

“He shouldn’t be alone right now,” he murmured, as he pressed a parting kiss against Charlie’s temple, and Lucy followed him out.

A few more people filtered out, and Joe took it upon himself to go down and make sure that everyone else knew that the party was over. Before long, it was just Gwilym, Charlie, Allen, and Joe left in the house and someone had turned the music off.

“Do you think he’s going to take her back?” Gwilym asked awkwardly, after a few more minutes of silence. Charlie was still sitting next to Allen on the couch, but Joe was leaning in the doorway across the room.

“God, I hope not,” Charlie breathed, and Joe laughed. She hadn’t meant for it to come out so loud.

“For his sake, I hope he doesn’t either. Ben’s too good of a guy to keep having his heart broken like this,” Allen added.

Charlie felt a little confused at his phrasing but didn’t say anything. Was this not the first time Ben had a bad relationship? It didn’t really matter. She could only hope that tonight was the last that she saw of Sophia.

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[wackapedia]

Never Love Again

Reader time travels to the 70s meets and falls for Roger Taylor, sings a song for him before she leaves to return to present.

A/N: could be read as Ben!Roger from the BoRhap universe.

Warning: tiny angst

She breathes in the fresh air of Monmouthshire. She made it. She successfully traveled through time. It was August 1975. She walks toward the dingy studio that could pass as a farmhouse.

"Hello! You do work here, right?" A gentle voice rang from the threshold of the room coming from a man she recognized as John Deacon.

"Yes i do!" She lied. "Do you need help?"

"I was just wondering if you have an extension cord for my amp.." he points to his homemade amplifier while adjusting the bass guitar strapped around him.

"I'll go and check.." She obviously had no clue how an extension cord for an amp looked like but she pretended to. She leaves the room while stealthily avoiding people who actually work in the said studio.

She collides with a blonde man tossing drumsticks in the hallway as she was being followed by the studio manager on duty.

"Quick! Hide me!" She whisper-yells to him. Being the quick-reflexed musician that he is, Roger Taylor's arm immediately wraps around her shoulder and pulls her into a small storage cabinet.

"Why are you hiding?" He whisper-yells to her back. "Its complicated!" She replies with the same tone as she adjusts herself around the dark, tight space. Her hands tap on her back pocket to confirm her phone was still there. It would be a disaster to leave it at this period.

"You dont work here, do you..?" His breath fans her face as his eyes narrow at her even if the place was poorly lit. "No. Please dont rat me out" she sounded like she was about to cry.

The manager on duty's footsteps draws nearer and stops in front of the storage cabinet. Only a thin wooden door between the cat and the mouse. This is it.

The studio manager opens the door of the storage cabinet to find one of the supposedly rehearsing musicians making out with a girl. It took him a good five seconds to realize that they have been exposed. "Are we up now?" The blonde musician with a cocky attitude faces him.

"Yes! About twenty minutes ago!" The studio guy answers. "Alright, thanks. Come on, babe." Roger addresses the stranger he just made out with as he grabs her hand and heads toward the recording box.

She couldnt believe what happened. Roger Taylor just made out with her to save her guilty ass from getting kicked out of the place.

"Youre welcome. It was a pleasure actually." Roger speaks up after a moment. Cheeky. "Now, Are you spying around here? Why were you hiding?" He calmly asks, still holding her hand.

"I'm studying to be a musician and i wanted to see how things work around here" she partially lied. Again. "I'm really sorry. I can go if you want. Just please dont report me"

"I'm not gonna report you alright, dont worry about it. I can tell the studio that your with our band so you can get to watch while we work. Is that alright?" Roger offered. She of course agreed to it. She gave him her name as they entered the live room.

Roger introduced her to the band as "a music major student who wanted to learn about the recording process" and made her stay at the control room, witnessing the outrageous process of production.

Days went on as the recording of the first few songs finished. Her phone eventually died out but she was unbothered since she had no use for it. She and the band stuck together and treated her like family. Especially Freddie, whom she can not look in the eye without tearing up.

One lazy Sunday afternoon, most of the band members in isolation while writing a lyic or a tune, she found herself sitting in front of the piano of the live room, playing basic nursery rhymes she learned in grade school. She was with Roger, a person who has become more than a friend over the past few weeks.

He sits across the piano facing her. She breaks the silence. "I have a song for you. But you have to promise me you wont steal it."

"Of course i wont steal it! Do you really think i'm that low?" He responds to what he thought was a joke.

She begins to play a mellow song on the piano and begins to sing

When the rain is blowing in your face

And the whole world is on your case

I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

Oh, I hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet

But I will never do you wrong

I've known it from the moment that we met

No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue

And I'd go crawling down the avenue

No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do

To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea

And on the highway of regret

The winds of change are blowing wild and free

You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true

There's nothing that I wouldn't do

Go to the ends of this Earth for you

To make you feel my love, oh yes

To make you feel my love

She lifts her fingers to her eyes to wipe her tears as she realizes how much she meant the lyrics. For this band who became a legend in her time. For this man who has a special place in her heart.

He had no words. He was able to feel every lyric and every emotion she put in.

"Did you write that? That was beautiful." He finally spoke.

"Thank you, but i didnt. Its a song by a famous artist from where I'm from." She spoke honestly. The room is occupied by silence.

"I have to go now." She spoke, breaking the silence once more.

"What? Where will you go?" He somehow felt that she will be going away for good.

"I'm going back to where i'm from." She sniffs. Her eyes rimmed with tears.

"Let me at least walk you back..?" He asks, hopeful.

She contemplated for a while before she agreed.

They walk hand in hand, quietly across the field not far from the studio, September wind blowing past.

"Thank you, Roger. You've been very good to me." Her gentle voice speaks.

"Do you really have to go? I thought we were having a good time together?"

"I had the best time with you, Roger. But I dont belong here." She breaks down, tears streaming from her eyes. "Please dont make this hard for us. Remember the good times. And keep it just between the two of us."

"Okay." He hesitantly lets go of her hand and takes half a step away.

"Please close your eyes." She says as she wipes her flowing tears with the sleeves of her sweater.

But Roger takes a step forward, gathers her in his arms and kisses her. All his emotions poured out in one meaningful kiss. And then he lets go.

He takes two steps back and smiles. "I love you." He yells even if she is nearby. She laughs.

"I love you too!" She giggles. He is wearing a full grin as he closes his eyes, spreads his arms and feels the cold wind hitting his face, rattling his loose bell-bottom jeans and the sleeves of his sweater.

He finally opens his eyes to find an empty field.

He turns round and round the vast grass, confused. He screams her name. She was nowhere to be found. He screams until his throat is parched. Roger slumps to the ground trying not to cry for the loss of his love.

It was a rainy Wednesday afternoon as a sleepless Roger emerges from his room to find Brian in the kitchen.

"Brian, do you think time travel is possible?" His fragile voice almost goes unheard by the tall guitarist.

"Funny you'd ask that Roger. I had this thought last night about time dilation and Einstein's special theory of relativity-" unceremoniously dropping his spatula to the sink, launching into a full lecture and eventually the conception of a song about volunteers travelling through time and space.

[magioftheseas]

Day 1 - Reserve

Written for @the-hinata-project 

Prompt: Reserve Course Student Hinata

Rating: G

Warnings: Lowkey manipulation and insecurity, but other than that, not much.

Notes: Alright, so I’m still in the middle of these, but like... Here’s the first one! They’re all going to be pretty short, around 2K but I’m gonna do my best to finish all of them so wish me luck...! And this first fic is gen. No ships. Next ones won’t be so gen. It’s also pre-HPA. Kind of.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

The last wish he made on New Year’s was a simple one.

I want to get into Hope’s Peak.

But of course that  would never happen.

“Can’t you dream more realistically, Hajime? Do you have any idea how expensive Hope’s Peak actually is? We can’t afford that.”

“I... I know that, but...”

“If you know then why are you burdening us with this? Please. Just think about other people besides yourself for once.”

“...sorry.”

His mother sighs, but ruffles his hair in a show of affection.

“You current high school isn’t so bad, right? You can make good friends here, and it’s a fine school.”

“I guess it’s...decent,” he mumbles.

“Just don’t even worry about Hope’s Peak anymore,” she tells him. “It’s impossible, and it can’t be helped. Keep your chin up. Okay?”

“...fine...”

Because he knew, after all, that she had a point. They couldn’t afford it. And he wasn’t talented. It was a pipe dream to attend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Still...

--

For his birthday, he was given a new laptop to replace the old. It was a fairly recent model. Pretty expensive. Likely compensation. He can’t say he didn’t like it.

He wasn’t ungrateful. He doesn’t think so.

It’s just that I admire Hope’s Peak more than anything.

So much so that he finds himself on the forums first thing.

>Does anyone have any idea who’s going to be in the upcoming batch?

>They haven’t finished scouting, right? Oh, but I just saw on the news that an actual princess was accepted! Hope’s Peak really can get in anyone!

>Wow, actual royalty?!

>There’s this photographer I follow. She’s getting in, too, I’m pretty sure.

>I just saw Saionji Hiyoko-san’s performance last week. I’m positive she’s getting in.

>I’m more interested in the princess. Can you imagine how lucky it would be to meet an actual princess?

>>They’ll be running the lottery in a month or so. What I would give to have more of a chance...

>Wow, they’re doing that again?

>With how much getting into the reserve course costs, you probably have a better chance with the lottery...

>But if you win the lottery, you’re actually considered talented. Reserves are just...y’know, reserves.

>But you’ll get to meet the princess, potentially. I think the money’s worth it, even if all I can do is steal a glance!

>Still... Seems so lame that you can just pay your way in...

>But brand name recognition is pretty powerful...

>>I heard you can actually get into the main course from the reserve course if you do well enough.

>No way! That’s a pipe dream! Maybe if you paid like, twice as much!

>Must be nice to be rich, huh...

Hinata stares, wondering what to type, but also letting the thoughts swirl around in his head.

>>I would do anything to get into Hope’s Peak. But my family just can’t afford that.

>Yeah, mine neither. Who actually can?

>You’d be surprised... They’re getting a lot of enrollments.

>You can’t like...get a scholarship or anything? It’s not like you need to go to college after attending Hope’s Peak.

>Well the golden gates can’t open that wide, I suppose...

>It’s for the best. If just about anyone could get in, it wouldn’t be that special.

Hinata bites his lip, picking at the peeling skin with his teeth.

>>Still. I want to get in more than anything.

>If you aren’t talented, it can’t be helped.

>>I would give anything.

>Pffft. No kidding. I’d give an arm and a leg, probably.

>>I would give anything.

>A lot of people would.

>You’re like a super fan, huh. Well, I am, too, but still...

>>Getting into Hope’s Peak has always been my dream.

>Everyone wants to be special, man.

>But if everyone was special then no one would be special.

>It can’t be helped. You’re either born talented or you aren’t.

>Right?! I must have spent hours drawing but there was always that one person I could just never compare to. It’s hopeless!

>You shouldn’t say hopeless on the Hope’s Peak forums!

>Haha, sorry!

>>I’ve never been talented. There’s not one thing I’m particularly good at.

>Normie...

>>But I want to get into Hope’s Peak Academy... More than anything.

>Give it up. For your own good. Wishing for the impossible isn’t healthy.

>Hey, don’t tell him that! What if he ends up winning the lottery?

>Yeah, right!

>>I’m not particularly lucky, either.

>Luck’s not a talent anyway.

>Are you sure? I’ve known people who get ridiculously lucky while gambling...

>If they gamble too much, that luck’s bound to run out. And I bet they’re not that lucky, they just brag a lot.

>That might be true... Still it would be nice just to get into Hope’s Peak by chance...

>Whoever wins that lottery probably is ridiculously lucky considering how many people are participating. We’re talking like, every high school student in their first year in the country.

>Sucks to be other countries, huh.

>Maybe someday but for now, I like not having that much competition.

>Still a ridiculous amount competing...

>I bet it’ll be someone who can afford the reserve course if they haven’t already enrolled.

>No fair! That kind of thing should disqualify you immediately!

>>I just...want to get in...

>Yeah we all do. But it’s impossible.

>Impossible.

>Totally impossible.

>Pigs will fly first.

>I heard some Ultimates actually can make some crazy shit. We might see flying pigs pretty soon.

>That’s terrifying.

>>I just want to get in.

>You should get offline.

He should. He really, really should.

Is it really impossible?

“Of course it is,” he can practically hear them murmur. “Not only are you untalented, you can’t afford it! And you’re going to win the lottery, either!”

Hinata buries his face into his hands, shuddering.

I just... I just...

--

To his surprise, he later receives a DM. Shivering, he clicks it open.

>Would you really do anything for Hope’s Peak?

He doesn’t recognize the name of the sender but...it looks official.

>>Yes. Of course. Why?

>There actually is a program you can sign up for that will get you in without having to pay a coin.

Hinata blinked once. Twice.

It’s way too good to be true.

But he’s desperate. Beyond desperate.

>>What is this program? How can I sign up?

>Here’s the information.

--

What he’s about to do is how people get themselves abducted, he’s pretty sure. But right now, he’s desperate and... If it really was someone associated with Hope’s Peak, how bad can it be? What’s the worse than can happen?

I already have no chance getting in. I know that... But...

His heart was pounding as he took the train. He stared out the window, at HPA’s towering buildings in the distance, getting closer and closer, and he sucks in his breath.

It’s so shining that it hurts to look at.

Shining like a dream...

--

“Ah, Hinata-kun, you made it after all. So you have the necessary information?”

“Uh... Yes...” Truth be told, he didn’t understand most of it. There were a lot of words that were hard to read and pretty...advanced. “I just...well you said you couldn’t explain everything in just files, so...”

The other looked pretty professional. Sharply dressed and smiling in a way that at least seemed pretty welcoming. But...still pretty intimidating, considering the circumstances. Hinata ducked his head, feeling rather flustered.

“Yes, it’s meant to be kept very tightly under wraps, you see,” they laugh. “I need to assure confidentiality before explaining, Hinata-kun. Surely you understand.”

That’s...weird.

But it made his blood thrum with excitement to be a part of.

“I... Y-Yes, of course. Absolutely... Of course...”

“Sign this form, then, promising that.”

“O-Of course...!”

He scribbles down his signature without a second thought. The other smiled more, pleased. Hinata squirmed in his seat, and tried to keep his posture straight.

With that, the other sat across from him, polite and yet...expectant.

Ah... Hah...

“So you’re willing to do anything for this school,” they say, voice almost light but also dense with significance. “Might I ask why?”

“It’s...as I said on the forums,” Hinata mumbles, fiddling with his tie. Even dressed professionally for this would-be interview, he feels underdressed. “I’ve always admired this school. Always. It’s always been my dream to...to go there...”

The other nods, expression unchanged.

“And why do you wish so badly to go there, despite not having a talent that can be cultivated?”

Hinata flinched.

“T-That’s...! I...” He hesitates, but he soon finds the words just spilling out. “I just want to be someone I can be proud of. Someone who can stand tall. Be confident. Be significant. Isn’t that what I deserve?”

“Isn’t that what everyone deserves?”

Hinata’s nails dig into his palms.

“I admire Hope’s Peak...more than anyone. I will give whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.” His teeth grit. “Whatever it takes... W-Whatever it takes...!”

Even though I know it’s selfish and impossible, I just...!

He just wanted to be someone. Someone other than...this.

Unimportant. Unremarkable. A faceless, meaningless part of the mass. The idea of being consumed by mediocrity and insignificance for the rest of his life, never to matter, never to even be remembered, just to disappear, just like he never even existed—

“I’ll do...w-whatever...it takes...” He’s shaking, eyes wide and crazed. “Whatever it takes... Whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.”

“Ah. I see.” An easy smile. And yet, the atmosphere felt so heavy that it was near suffocating. “Very well then, Hinata-kun. That’s exactly the kind of attitude we’re looking for.”

Hinata lit up.

“R-Really?” He dares to let hope slip into his tone. “D-Do you really mean it?”

A nod.

“Hinata-kun... If you could be reborn from the faceless body of a miserable nobody into the world’s hope... Would you?”

“That...sounds too good to be true...” His heart really was racing, but he was flushed with excitement. “But... Y-Yeah... I... Of course...”

“Then, allow me to tell you about how that can be possible. If you agree, you’ll be accepted into the school, free of charge, no talent necessary. In fact, it’s even essential that you be talentless.”

I...don’t understand.

He doesn’t understand but it just sounds so incredible that he can’t help but be swayed.

“...tell me.”

“Very well.”

A folder of files is placed before him. They look too important to grasp. And the stamped out letters of CONFIDENTIAL stare back into his wide-eyed, shimmering gaze.

Fingers trembling, Hinata actually slices his finger open as he flips it open.

He doesn’t even feel the sting, as engrossed as he is in the text.

“I...”

The words swirl around in his head, over and over until he drowns in them.

“Do you need time to think about it?” the other asks him kindly. So kindly that Hinata is struck cold. “Tell you what... You can still get into the reserve course. You don’t have to say yes right away, and the deadline will be in a few months from now. You can attend classes here until then...and then make your decision on whether or not you’re willing to stay. Okay?”

“I... O-Okay.” Hinata swallows. “That’s... I’m okay with that.”

I said I’d do anything. And I do...want to do anything. But...

His hands are shaking while still gripping the files.

I can’t...let this chance slip by...even if it’s something like this. This is everything I ever wanted. Why am I even hesitating?

“It’s alright,” the other says reassuringly, taking the files away with ease. “Hinata-kun, I know you’ll make the best decision for yourself.”

For...myself. Myself...

“I...yes.”

“I’ll have them send in your acceptance letter and uniform.” His hand is shook, the grip warm and calloused. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Hinata-kun.”

“A-A pleasure... Yeah.”

Just like that, Hinata was stumbling out of Hope’s Peak, trembling and falling to pieces with every shaky step.

I have to do it, he can’t help but think. I have to do it, for...for myself...

This was going to be the year his life changed irreparably. He was sure of it.

[thiickfreaknesss-blog]

Head Case

Chapter One

I felt very calm, laying in what I took to be grass as it tickled my neck. So close to my nose I could smell the unmistakable scent of the freshly cut lushness. Though it was grown so tall, passing the height of my head, I could tell it was not recently manicured.

As I lay there, enjoying the scents and the chirping of birds, I thought how remarkable it was that my mind allowed such a vivid and hyperrealistic dream world. All my time spent in the lab, missing out on reportedly 'epic' college frat parties, researching and studying the world of dreams and the unconscious, finally paying off. I may not have broken any records or discovered something new, but lucid dreaming IS one of the perks to my studies.

After an imperceptible amount of time lying in the grass, relishing the feeling of nature beneath me, I decided it was time I should open my eyes and try to hold on to the world I've created. My personal battle with lucid dreaming was the act of opening my eyes. I never could get past physical sensation and enjoy the world, every time I opened my eyes it all disappears and I'd be back in the lab or in my off campus studio, tired and disappointed.

This time though, I was determined. The smell of the earth, the birds song, the light breeze that brushed my eyelashes, I had to know what kind of magical place my mind brought me to. I wanted to experience it, to feel it's realness-

My foot suddenly jiggled and I felt the hand that lightly grabbed at the toes of my boot. My eyes snapped open at the touch and I looked down at my bottom half only to be met by glowing eyes.

He opened his mouth to speak but what came out was definitely not English...

"Du valgte et mærkeligt sted at falde i søvn." the words rolled off his tongue elegantly, though I had no idea what they meant. He cocked his head to the side like a listening dog.

I was stunned, frozen like a deer. This was definitely the most vivid dream I've experienced. It's hard to believe that those round eyes weren't real with the way seemed to attempt to look straight into my soul.

I didnt reply, I figured he wouldn't understand me anyways. I looked away, sitting up and taking in my surroundings. I was in some sort of field or meadow, lined by tall lush trees and beautiful yellow flowers releasing feathery seed pods that danced through the breeze. Though I couldn't see it, I heard the sound of water running nearby to my right. Slow and melodic, possibly a stream or creek hiding within the tree line.

My attention went back to blue eyed boy. He spoke again, his tone questioning, but I didn't know what he asked. He looked down at my hand, and questioned me again. I then realized my left hand was covered in sticky warm blood. My blood. A deep gash ran from the middle finger of my palm and down, the pain of it just now taking affect in my brain. The burn washed over my entire hand and it quickly became my main focus. I pulled at my loose shirt and used it to press on the wound, trying to stop the blood from flowing. I felt a hiss escape my lips at the stinging sensation. This dream was feeling more and more like reality than I thought it would.

The boy sat at my feet, staring at me, probably wondering why I wasn't responding to him. He said something again and started to stand, though I could tell it took a great deal of effort to do so. As he stood he grabbed what looked like crutches from the grass and used them to steady himself as he started to turn and walk towards the tree line. He spoke again and motioned for me to follow him.

Still somewhat in my trance of uncertainty and confusion, I also stood slowly and walked forward to keep up his pace, dropping my shirt from my clenched fist and noticing the dark red stain it left behind on my cream colored blouse. I kept pace with the boy, surprised that his speed was somewhat normal considering his apparent afflictions.

We walked for maybe a mile, mostly in silence besides the few times I tripped on nature's unforgiving floor, swearing profanities as I instinctively caught myself with my already injured hand. The boy only rolled his eyes, attempted to help my to my feet and kept moving.

We finally arrived at a small town, or village would be a better description. We passed many small houses made of wood and other bits of nature, and eventually made it into what I would call possibly the 'heart' of town. Many vendors with wooden carts ran around, people talking, people trading things between each other. The style they all wore, including the boy at my side, was very old world. Thick looking fabrics, duller colors, many layers, and metals. It did not belong in the 21st century, even in the poorest of communities within my city.

We reached a large building and he opened one side of the giant and heavy set of double doors and walked in, holding it open for me to enter and closing it shut with a loud slam behind us.

In the large room we had entered were lines of wooden tables and chairs. At the forefront were two stately and noble looking chairs that faced the main room, like thrones. I stopped for a moment to take it all in, noticing the fire-lit sconces that clung to many spots on the four walls and the medieval looking weaponry that decorated the room.

Where had my dream taken me??

The room was mostly vacant except for two women who stood by chatting. The boy that lead me around said something to them and motioned them over, an authorities tone washing over his words. One woman rushed to his side, eyes at the floor, the other scampered away with a basket of what looked like fruits or vegetables and left the room.

The boy spoke to the first woman and gestured towards me, then she rushed away. The boy motioned for me to sit at the nearest table and I obliged, returning my bleeding palm to a fresh spot on my blouse, the sting immediate.

The boy sat next to me and grabbed my hand away from shirt, examining it closely. He said something again to me and I felt bad that I couldnt reply in his language.

"I'm sorry, I don't.. " I tried to speak apologetically. His head perked up at my words, looking astonished.

"So it is English you prefer to speak?" he asked me.

I was baffled, wondering why my own dream had created a language I couldn't speak, only to find out he knew my own? What on earth...

"Yes, I speak English.. "

The look of surprise and uncertainty washed over his face, but before either of us could ask further questions of each other, the woman he had previously fetched returned with a bowl of water and bandages. She knelt beside me and began to pat my hand with lukewarm water, removing any traces of caked blood. She wrapped my hand in cloth, finishing her work, then briefly looked up at the boy, about to speak. He waved her off and she quickly picked up her things and shuffled away, leaving the two of us alone.

He leaned forward, his chair facing me, resting his elbows on the legs. "I've not seen you before. Where do you come from?" he asked me, in English. His mouth was hard not to stare at, pouty lips next to glowing blue eyes. A look of determination...

Oh! Where am I from..?

A loaded question.. How to answer that?? I come from reality whereas you are actually a figment of my imagination? Umm..

Before I could decide on anything my brain answered the question my own mind asked. "I'm not sure."

Oops. I meant to keep that to myself..

"What is your name?" he asked me. His expression was one of fascination and questions. I suddenly felt cocky and decided that this was MY dream and I would do the asking.

I leaned on my knees to mimic his stance and looked at him closely. "What is YOUR name?"

His eyes widened a bit, surprised at my unwillingness to obey, but a smirk crossed his thick lips, he held his position and answered me with confidence.

"Ivar." he said, he almost said something more but seemed to decide against it. His eyes made a questioning motion for me to reply with mine.

"Caroline." I replied.

"Where do you come from, Caroline?"

I paused, again not sure how to answer. I decided I would be as vague as I could, to avoid too many particulars. "I'm not from around here. I traveled pretty far, actually."

He leaned back, not entirely pleased with my answer, obviously, but he seemed to let it go for the time being.

I suddenly felt my stomach turn in knots and realized I was incredibly hungry. How could I be hungry in a dream? I shouldn't have been surprised, the pain in my hand reminded me that apparently any feeling can be expected, even in my dream world..

"Have you got any food? I'm oddly starving.. " I asked him. He leaned back in his chair, smirking, and called another of the women over to fetch food I assumed.

This lucid dreaming was turning out to be nothing of what I expected...

After I scarfed down a bowl of warm soup that tasted of fresh herbs and wild game, Ivar, who patiently waited for me to finish with minimal talking but maximum eye contact, led me through the house, up a set of stairs and down a long hall. He opened the door and we entered a small, nearly bare room. There was bed that stood on the right wall with a small table and chair a few feet away. On the opposite side of the room was a small fireplace and a large tub that took up a good portion of the already slim amount of walking space. There was a women poking at the fire, her long platinum blonde hair braided down her back. Her brown dingy brown dress dragging on the floor, stained dark from time and wear. She barely acknowledged our entrance until she saw it was Ivar who followed in behind me. She immediately stood and bowed her head, almost as if to wait for instruction.

"You may stay here tonight." he stated. "Yeni is drawing you a bath. I suggest you get some sleep, tomorrow is another day and I'm sure the new Queen of Kattegat will want to meet you." he had a certain distaste about the way he spoke that last sentence. Something against the Queen maybe?

"Thank you, Ivar." I stepped closer to him, I think making him suspicious of my actions, and gently laid a peck on his cheek. He looked very much surprised, blood rushing to his cheeks. He nodded and walked away.

"Ivar!" I hollered after him. He turned on his crutches, looking inquisitive. "How do you say 'thank you' in your language?" I asked him.

His eyes squinted and he said "tak skal du have." then he turned and made his way back down the hall.

I stepped back into the bedroom and moved towards the girl called Yeni. She moved to place in my hands a pile of clothing, off-white in color. She pointed to the prepared bath, muttering something in her language, and stepped out of the room.

"Tak skal du have!" I yelled after her.

I undressed quickly and stepped into the steaming water. It felt amazing after a day like today! I took my time in the bath, biding my time. I took the cloth that was draped over the edge of the tub and dunked it under the surface of the water, soaking it instantly, and rung it out over my bare chest. The hot water trickled down my breasts, aiding in warming my whole body. I leaned back and wet my hair, scratching at my scalp to release any caked on dirt. I laid in the tub until the water was too cool and became less than comforting.

Assuming the clothes Yeni gave me were for tomorrow, I opted to lay in the bed naked. I knew that once I fell asleep my time in the dream world would be over, so I kept my eyes open as long as I could. I almost wasn't prepared to return to my small studio apartment. The hustle and bustle of people and technology, midterms creeping around the corner. Plus with this dream having been as detailed and realistic as it was, I don't know if my lab partners would ever believe what I'd tell them happened. Either way my short experience here will make for a great essay topic!

I shut my eyes and tried to shut off my whirlwind mind. Not long after snuggling into the cozy bed covered in warm furs, I drifted off...

A cold sharp line stung my throat and a heavy weight on top of me woke me from a deep sleep. I thought I should be back in my own room, seeing my pink curtains blowing in the nightly wind through the screen. But instead I opened my eyes to a pair of glowing blue ones, almost nose to nose with me.

"Who. Are. You." the voice hissed.

I immediately recognized the eyes, and the angered voice. Ivar.

"Ivar, what are you doing?" I managed to squeeze the air in and out of my lungs long enough to get the question out.

"Why will you not tell me where you are from? What you are doing here? It drives me mad." he hissed at me. I used every ounce of my strength and body weight to lift myself up and throw him to the other side of the bed. Unfortunately my blanket of furs went with him and my naked body exposed. I reached for the covers out of modesty but he leaped and grabbed me by the throat with one hand, the other propping himself up on the bed.

"Answer me."

___

Heyyaa! This is my first ever legit attempt at writing anything substantial so I hope it goes over well! There will be more to the story, of course, gotta get that juicy stuff! I'm definitely a huge Vikings fan and I'll do my best to keep time lines with the show n stuff but I will gladly make changes if it benefits the story. ALSO the language I've translated that the Vikings are speaking is Danish, I had a b*tch of a time locating anything legitimate to Old Norse so 😕. And of course, in this story, 'Boneless'does not mean 'BONEless'... Catch ma drift.. So, enjoy!

Nomnomnom...

[teamkaiforever]

I BELIEVE IN YOU

(requested by   @toriar1019 )

word count : 3 884 summary :  Kai fights the siren’s mind control because of his feelings for Reader. * gif by phantom-evil __________________________ A week. That’s how long Y/N and her friends tried everything to open the Vault at the Armoury to get back Kai and Damon. None of them was prepared to find the Vault completely empty , none of them could figure out how they got out. Y/N had thought the anguish she had felt during that time was too much but what came next broke her completely. Three months went by before there was even a hint about what Damon and Kai might be up to. Things only got worse from there. Being separated had always been hard , but this time it was different. Kai wasn’t on some trip for a few days somewhere. There wasn’t a way to find them with a locator spell or anything. It took Y/N and her friends month to track them down and eventually find them at an abandoned slaughter house after a victim was found. Stefan and Y/N had gone there and had tried to get them back the same second they found them , but things hadn’t gone according to plan. Seeing Kai had been enough to put the pieces of her heart together again and shatter it completely right after specially after hearing Kai say ‘I don’t love you and I never have. Go before I rip your throat out.’ Those words echoed in her mind and they cut deeper than any knife ever could , even though she knew he hadn’t meant a syllable. Kai’s eyes had betrayed him , the way he had held onto her hand for a few seconds before pushing her away - he had done it on purpose to get her to leave. Y/N never gave up hope and seeing him only made her more determined to get him back , no matter what she had to do or who she’d have to go through to make it happen. Kai couldnt believe what his life had been turned into the past few months. He had spent years trying to be better and learn to control his blood thirst after he turned , had a girl who loved him enough to risk her own life more than once just to save him and just when he was about to get everything he ever wanted he got himself into this mess. All of this had ruined helping people for him. Worst part of it all was that no matter how much he fought , there was no way out. Kai was stuck with Sybil and his least favourite person on this planet who had tried more than once to kill him. It had been months since Kai had been with Y/N and he had wanted to go back for her so many times but knew if Sybil found out about her , his girl would end up dead or worse. He couldnt let that happen.     “What is he doing?” asked the siren. Damon glanced at him. Kai was sitting not too far away from them with some paper in his hands , reading or more like pretending to read so he doesn’t have to think about the things he had done in order to keep Sybil distracted and keep his girl safe. Y/N – he suppressed a smile , just her name was enough to make him happy but he couldn’t let it show. He closed his eyes and he could see her smile , even hear her voice sometimes.     “Catching up on current events.” said Kai indifferently. “The mysterious disappearances are drawing too much attention. Think you can cut back on red meat a bit ?” Sybil rolled her eyes. “I spent a better part of a thousand years trapped in a Vault. So no , and who are you to tell me what to do ?” Kai sighed. He was getting tired of being an evil minion , finding her 'evil people’ to eat , not to mention how fighting the siren’s mind control was getting harder each day. However he was doing better than Damon , who was flying on full cruise control. His least favourite Salvatore didn’t even remember who Elena was now , thats how much Sybil had messed with his head. Kai would rather die than have his memories of Y/N twisted or replaced with new versions.     “No one , apparently.” he said with a smirk. “I’m going out to grab a snack. Blood bags just dont do it for me as you well know.”     “Fine , but dont go too far.” said the siren. “There is a housewife living in the house next door , bet she is delicious.”     “Thanks for the offer, but I prefer my blood a little younger.” said Kai walking past them. “I’m going to look for a cheerleader at the high school or some confused teen at a bar. Oh or a sorority girl. Who knows what I’d find.” After all those months they were finally close by Mystic Falls. About two weeks ago when he had briefly seen Y/N for the last time , it had been so hard fighting the urge to pull her into his arms , suffocate her with kisses and never let go of her again. The look in her eyes , how they had lit up when she saw him - it was all seared into his mind. In that moment he had felt happy again but then came the look of hurt when he had said all those horrible things to push her away for her own safety. Y/N was stubborn as hell , more determined than ever - it had been his only option to get her to go. Kai had never been more afraid of his feelings for the brave human girl than in this moment. Even after the merge with Luke , he hadnt been that shaken of everything he was feeling. Just the thought of her getting hurt in any way was enough to send him in a really dark place. There was no life for him without her and he was sure if she died , he’d die with her. Sybil kept digging in his mind and he knew at some point she’d uncover Y/N’s existence. There was only one thing left he could do to protect her , as painful as it might be for the both of them. After all this mess was over he’d go and find her , move away with her, start a new. Kai walked into town , knowing her daily routine hoping nothing had changed and she’d still be going to work at the Grill. He stood a few hundred metres away waiting for her and just like always at the exact same time every Tuesday - there she was. More beautiful than ever with a look of determination on her face. A gust of wind blew out of nowhere (or more like Kai manipulated the weather) and she turned towards him. The look on her face changed between shock , surprise , caution , surprise and love – sticking to the last one. Her eyes widened and she ran towards him not even paying attention to traffic or cars or anything or anyone else in general.     “Kai!” said Y/N running directly into his arms. “H-how are you here ? Why are you here?” Kai pulled her towards him , tighter than ever and smiled at her. He could see in her eyes she knows something was wrong with him. Did he really look as broken on the outside as he felt on the inside? he wondered. His hands cupped her face and he kissed her gently for a few seconds. The young heretic couldn’t believe after everything he had said , Y/N had ran towards him like that instead of going the other way , how she hadn’t yelled at him or slapped him or anything.     “I’m sorry Y/N … I should’ve never gone to that Vault.” said Kai softly, his voice filled with sadness and regret. “I am sorry for what I said to you a few days ago too. We had ears on us –”     “I knew you didn’t mean it.” she smiled widely at him , not willing to let go off him or move more than half an inch away. “Whats going on Kai ?” Y/N gazed into his eyes - he looked different - broken , crushed. The way he had pulled her towards him , as if letting go of her would mean his death both scared her and made her happy. Whatever was happening it was probably worse than she had thought.     “I … I literally cannot say.” he sighed. Y/N looked at him with a puzzled expression.”No , I mean it – whenever I try to say out loud whats going on it comes out all giberish.”     “Doesn’t matter , as long as you are here. Come on , lets go home —”     “I cant.” said Kai. “I want to , more than anything but I — cant. You need to leave town. Now.“ he said with a serious look. "Go home , pack up your things and leave. It’s not safe for you here.”     “Leave ?! No. Not without you.” protested Y/N.     “I – the siren keeps digging inside my memories , trying to find what I am holding on to.” said Kai , cupping her face. “There is no way to stop her. Her neck gets snapped and she comes back to life 5 seconds later. If something happens to you -”     “- I’ll die if something happens to you.” she said pressing her lips onto his. Kai pulled her towards him , kissing her as if its the last time he’d ever kiss her.     “For once in your life, do as I say.” he demanded. “Don’t make me compell you to forget all about me.” Y/N took a step away from him. Kai wouldn’t compell her , he wouldn’t go that far. Never. Though this desperate look in his eyes made her feel nervous. She understood he wanted to protect her , like always but he wouldn’t cross that line.     “You wouldn’t…”     “We both know I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you. Even if it means losing you.” Tears had started gathering in her eyelids just thinking how just when she finally got him back , he wants her to go away.  No way. There was another way to get him to go with her , because there is no version of her life without him — and that way was walking towards them in that moment.     “Okay – I’ll leave.” she sighed in defeat. Kai looked at her with a mix of surprise and heartbreak in his eyes clearly not expecting her to give in that easily and dreading losing her again.     “But you are coming with me.” she finished , seeing Stefan behind Kai , holding a vervain syringe. A few moments later Kai dropped unconscious. “Thanks for that Stef.”     “Yeah. Don’t mention it.” replied the Salvatore, holding Kai’s body. “I suggest you two get out of town. Alaric is working on finding out what that instrument is and how it helps us kill the siren. As soon as we figure it out , our lives would go back to normal or as normal as they were before all this.”     “What is normal anyways?” she wondered. With Stefan’s help she got Kai onto the backseat of her car. Y/N put the keys in the ignition and drove off as fast as she could not giving a damn about the speeding limits or red lights or anything. Her eyes kept darting between the road and the review mirror , looking at Kai on the back seat. Everything was fine until they passed old Miller Road and he started to wake up screaming in pain , holding his head in his hands.     “Y/N… stop the car.” he groaned rolling around the backseat.     “No. We — we are leaving. There has to be a way to get you away from her and out of her control.”     “I - I can’t l-leave.” he groaned and reached his hand stopping the car with magic. Y/N hit the gas pedal again , tried the ignition but none of it worked - the car had stopped in the middle of the road. A groan of frustration left her lips. What had the siren did to him ? Kai got out of the car and started walking back into town. Quickly she unbuckled her seat belt and ran after him , catching up in a few metres. Seeing him in pain broke her heart , even more noticing the tears in his eyes. He kept rubbing his forehead , groaning in pain. Y/N placed her hands on his shoulders making him look at her.     “Kai , whats happening ? Tell me.”     “I am too far away from her. She is p-pulling me back.” said Kai taking another step towards town. “Get in the car and go before she finds you -”     “You are stronger than this Kai. You can fight it –”     “I’ve been fighting it for months now … ”     “Don’t stop. I will help you. We’ll find a way to break the link , I promise.” Kai laughed under his breath. “You can’t help me Y/N. I know you love me and want to help but - ”     “Well , well , well…” said a young woman with short brown hair and brown eyes , standing a few steps away from them. “I was wondering how you keep resisting my control. Pity this girl didn’t listen when you told her to leave. Damon , if you may –” Damon grabbed Y/N before Kai had had time time to react , holding her in a tight grip ready to snap her neck at a moments notice. Kai tried to get to her but the siren hummed some tune and he stopped in his tracks , visibly struggling to get to his girl.     “Now , Kai.” said the siren taking a step towards the young heretic who was trying hard to fight her influence and move. “If you don’t want anything awful to befall your girlfriend –”     “Fiance.” he corrected quietly.     “– then you are going to do exactly as I say. Both you and Damon are quite resourceful when it comes to picking victims but I think you’ll be a lot more committed when there is nothing holding you back. So , I am giving you a choice.” Y/N watched Kai stare at the ground , refusing to meet the siren’s eyes. His hands were shaking and she knew that look very well. Under any other circumstance at this point , whoever had gotten in his way would have had their throat ripped out or their head would’ve rolled on the ground. It was a look Y/N hadn’t seen in almost 4 years and made her blood freeze. Her fiance was angry , hurt and scared and whenever one of those emotions took over things always ended badly. Y/N didn’t care what would happen to her , but she worried about what the siren wants Kai to do.     “What kind of a choice?” he asked.     “Shut off your humanity and come with me or watch your fiance die.” said the siren , pausing for a moment. “You know what – maybe I will make it more interesting and make you kill her. Imagine this - having to live with the guilt of killing the one person who you love more than anything.”     “Don’t — don’t do this to him.” pleaded Y/N , stepping on Damon’s foot with force in an attempt to get free. The vampire growled in her ear. “Let me go Damon or I swear … I’ll get to that coffin and burn Elena’s body myself.”     “Elena ? Who’s – who’s Elena?” asked Damon. Y/N gulped. If the siren could erase Elena’s existence from Damon’s mind then what could she have done to Kai ? Sybil laughed. “I see why you love her. Maybe if she was a supernatural I would’ve taken her with us. ” she paused for a moment. “I still can , find a way to taint her soul and kill her , making sure she’ll end up in Hell.” she thought out loud with an amused look. “So , what’s it going to be - are you coming with me or does your pretty girl gets to die ?”     “No.” said Kai.     “It’s really not a choice , honey. Turn it off. ”     “No.“ repeated Kai.     “We’ll have to do this the hard way then.” sighed Sybil and grabbed his head , closing her eyes. Kai could feel her digging in his mind , trying to find something else against him. He tried hard not to think about any of the moments he and Y/N had shared so the siren can’t modify them like she did to Damon’s memories of Elena but seeing his girl struggle to get free from the vampire’s grasp pulled one of the memories to the surface of his mind.      "Interesting.“ muttered the siren , slipping into one of his memories. "I have to say - that must be one of your best works. Taking your entire family down with you. It’s one of the reasons Cade wanted you. Now why is this memory so important to you—” Kai stood by the entrance , watching himself walking through the wedding disaster struggling because of the werewolf bite. Bonnie showed up a few moments later but he wasn’t paying attention to that , the other him was dealing with that. He was watching out one of the windows , knowing any moment now he’d see Y/N heading towards the barn. Her dress was covered with blood and her hair was messier than ever. Bonnie flew across the room towards one of the walls and Damon showed up shortly after. Kai sat at the podium , playing with a rose in his hands while talking with the vampire. A few moments later Damon left and Kai saw himself looking around with confusion in his eyes. Then he heard it - the sound of one of Alaric’s compressed air weapons. He turned in the direction of the sound seeing Y/N and then Damon laying on the ground with a piece of wood plunged in his back.     “What ? No 'thank you'for saving your life ?” she said blowing a strand of hair out of her face. Y/N reached for his hand , instead Kai pulled her into his arms for a few seconds. “Lets go before he wakes up.”     “One moment … ” said Kai  , biting his wrist and rushing to Bonnie’s side. “Don’t you ever forget this Bon Bon.You didn’t really think I’d let you die did you ?” Y/N grabbed his hand and both of them run out of the barn. Somehow she was running faster than him and he had a hard time catching up with her. A few moments later he stopped abruptly making her stop too.      "Why would you save me ?“     "Because — you are not this monster. You are good and – I can’t let the person I love die. ”     “What ?” he asked with a hint of surprise in his voice.     “I love you Kai. You are my future and you can push me away all you want but even if you don’t let yourself see it or feel in general — ” she said softy , placing her palm on his cheek. “ — I know that you see the same. It’s in your eyes — ” Kai pulled her into his embrace , holding her tighter than ever unable to believe that after all the things he had done , including a few hours ago there was someone still believing in him , carrying about him and loving him.     “I love you too Y/N.” he said smiling resting his forehead on hers.      "Ohhh , I see.“ said Sybil , twisting his memory and replacing Y/N’s face with hers. Kai looked at her with a small smile on his face , tucking in a lock of hair behind her ear.  Sybil smiled at him innocently and leaned in to kiss him.     "Nice try. You are not her and I am not as weak as Damon.” said Kai , snapping her neck in a few moments later. 

Sybil opened her eyes , clenching her jaw. The siren hadn’t expected the young heretic to be that strong. Damon had resisted her but she had been stronger , this was new.     “Well , that was unexpected. Shall we try this again ?”     “You can try all you want Sybil.” said Kai with a smirk. “I’m not Damon and I am not the monster you want me to be. I’m not this person anymore.”     “Ahh that’s right.” said the siren smiling wickedly. “Because you love this fragile human girl and your feelings for her are stronger than your blood lust. Shame , she would’ve looked beautiful in a wedding gown. Damon — how would you feel about a snack?” Damon grinned , purple black veins flashing under his eyes and his fangs sank in Y/N’s neck. The girl screamed , dug her nails in Damon’s hands kicked and tried everything to get free but it was useless. Kai took a step towards them but Sybil hummed another tune forcing him to watch as the life drained from the girl he loved. The only person who ever gave him a real chance even before the merge was dying and he couldn’t even move his finger.     “Let her go.” said Kai. “I’ll — I’ll do what you ask just let her go.”     “Kai , don’t. You are stron-ger than you think. Fight – it.” said Y/N struggling to speak. Kai looked into her eyes , her lips forming four words 'I believe in you’.  He struggled , feeling Sybil trying to sneak into his mind again and get him to let go , but it didn’t matter - all he could hear and see was Y/N. His eyes closed for a moment and he found the strength to flick his wrist snapping Damon’s neck , raising his other hand pulling out Sybil’s heart out of her chest with magic. The moment the siren dropped on the ground his mind cleared and he ran towards his girl , biting his wrist bringing it to her lips.     “Don’t you dare die Y/N.” said Kai smiling nervously. “Not now …. not ever.” Y/N wrapped her fingers around his wrist feeling his warm blood trickle down her throat. A sigh left Kai’s lips and he caressed her face , placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Her eyes opened and she pulled herself up unitl he wrapped his strong arms around her.     “You did it.” she smiled widely at him.     “Only because of you. ” he said softly. “Though that wont last for long unless your buddies figure out a way to hold her down. Until then –”     “– get in the car with me and we drive as far and fast away as we can.” she finished with a hopeful expression on her face. Kai smiled widely at her. “Pick a destination , sweetheart.” MASTERLIST - SMUT MASTERLIST - FLUFF

[drop-and-give-me-zen]

Yess~ my first request already?! Im blessed to have beautiful Mcs already interested~

Rating: Safe for work though 15+ recommended

Reason: Alcohol, vomit, envy

Keywords: Romance, Date, Bar, SFW           

You and Zen had been talking on the phone a lot, He hadn’t had a lot of time to spend with you lately due to work, and being boyfriend and girlfriend, that put a little bit of a damper on your mood. You wanted to just do something to be with him, anything at this point so you begged the man to just hang out at the bar tonight, nothing big and fancy just a little bit of you time for the both of you. When you asked you could hear the smile in his voice as he answered you, “Of course Love~ I have had something on my mind that I wanted to talk to you about anyways.... Ill meet you there at around seven pm....alright?” and with that you were satisfied, you were going to see him after what had seemed like forever...but what was it he wanted to talk to you about. You attempted to shrug it off, heart racing and a smile on your face you pick out your favorite outfit down to your cutest bra and panties, and got all ready hours ahead even. It was going to be your special night and you wanted it to happen right away. Not to mention the thought of what he had wanted to talk to you about had almost drove you crazy.          As you waited at the bar for a few minutes, dressed all cute, catching the eyes of a few on lookers almost drooling at how amazing you looked, even more so with the giant smile on your face as you thought about your man, and being able to be with him even just if for a little bit. The sound of footsteps suddenly snapped you out of your daydreams and back to reality, looking to see Zen looking at you with a huge smile and a light blush, just as happy to see you, “Hey babe.....I hope I didnt keep you waiting~” he said as he leaned in to kiss you on your cheek with a light pink hue across his face. You assured him it hadn't been long, Home wasn't even a block away so you took your time to get here. The smile forming on his face even more as he wrapped his arm around you to hold you close as he started to walk you in, “Alright~ Lets get something to drink, and maybe a snack for you here~ My treat~” he said with a wink as he walked you into the rather classy bar, filled with mostly couples, a few stragglers, and some people even singing karaoke. It was a very nice place, not like any bar you had seen before really. As he walked you in eyes of a few envious girls had caught your attention, however the grip he had on you had put you at ease for the moment being.        Sitting down Zen had ordered a beer for himself and an alcoholic drink that you had mentioned liking before, when he ordered it for you you couldn’t help but feel a bit shocked that he had remembered such a small detail about you. “I’m so sorry about everything....” he said as he turned to face you with a smile, “I’ve been so busy lately with work and modeling for Jumin’s new wine ads....I haven't had time to be with you....but I promise that will change soon alright princess..?” he said as he touched your face lightly, his soft hands petting your cheek. Closing your eyes you could feel the warmth on them, drawing you into it more, your senses going mad with the smell of him, the feeling of his hands, and the sound of his voice, that is until the sound of another envious woman seemed to snap you out of it again. ‘uggh....he could do so much better.....like me..’ a snotty voice said behind you, though when you looked at Zen he didn't seem to notice it at all. You were done, you needed that alcohol, and when it came you pounded it down almost instantly. Zen’s eyes widened as he watched you, a bit surprised at how quick you drank it, ordering another for you. “Wow....Honey...” he said with a small laugh, “Try not to drink it too fast....they often sneak up on ya and hit you all at once....” he said as he looked to you, you assured him again that you were fine, and there was nothing to worry about.         As the night went on you both sang Karaoke, both talked about your week and what had gone on, drinking happily and laughing the night away, those voices still getting to you, and just remembering the woman and what she had said had made you want to drink more, that is until Zen had cut you off at what seemed to be your limit. “Jagiya....Are you alright?” he mentioned, rather worried about your current state, you couldn't even walk straight. He was right it had all snuck up on you, and you felt horrid. “Come on.... let me take you home..” he said as he talked to the bartender, paid the tab, and walked back to where you were sitting. “MC....You should have been a bit more careful....but then again...I’m just as to blame for this..” he said in a worried tone. You tried to justify yourself telling him you were fine, and you didn't want to go home, though as you talked your words slurred and you couldn't even keep yourself from crying, you wanted to stay out with him all night, you didn't want to end up like this. As the tears ran down your face Zen couldn't help but feel to blame, quickly scooping you up bridal style and carrying you out the door. Your heart sank as the depressing feelings filled your head, you couldnt hold back, you told him your worries, and about the woman in the bar. His face got red with anger as he walked carrying you to your place, “W-what? Why didnt you tell me earlier?” he said a bit angered that he just had found out, “If you would have told me I would have told them off...” he said walking a bit faster out of anger, “Honestly people these days can be so....Uggh!!” he let out getting a bit more angered though looking down at you he couldnt help but blush a bit his eyebrows a bit sad, “Dont you ever think that you are not good enough....you are my Princess....and someday I want to make you my Queen...Dont let what others say get to you....they dont know you...You are the most beautiful woman in the world to me and nothing will change that..” he said as he walked up to your door with a light blush, grabbing your keys and unlocking it as he smiled and paused kissing your lips before opening the door to your house, and walking in with you still in his arms.                 As he placed you down in a chair you couldn't help but watch him as he scurried around your small apartment. Everything seemed to be moving around and you were hit with the sudden feeling of nausea, Zen turned to look at you with a glass of water in his hands, his face however very pale, “H-hon...are you alright?” he asked as he put the glass down and went over to you, your hand over your mouth. He knew what that meant and instantly swooped you up and carried you to the restroom where you had instantly leaned into the toilet and let it out. Zen quickly pulled his own hair out of the ponytail and put the rubber band in your hair, holding your hair back as you let it out. Sitting with you and petting your back softly as you let it all out, he kissed your shoulder blade and pet you as you started to slow down, feeling a bit better by the second. “You alright now MC...?” he asked as he let a soft sigh out flushing the toilet for you and standing up as you nodded still unable to talk. As you sat on the floor he had gotten up and grabbed the glass of water from the other room, your toothbrush and tooth paste from the counter of the bathroom and a wet washcloth. Sitting down on the floor next to you he started to clean your face up, his eyes filled with love and worry. As you drank your water and brushed your teeth to get the taste out he stood right next to you, not moving away more than an inch, and his hand always on you. “Im so sorry...” he said as he put his head lightly on your shoulder, “I shouldnt have let you drink so much...” he said with a worried tone. You were sobering up by this point, the shock of the vomit, and having it all out of you at this point being a big factor. You told him it wasnt his fault where he shook his head, “If you say so but I have to make it up to you...” he said as he looked at his watch, “Im staying the night, Ill keep an eye on you and make sure you are okay...” he said with the smile as he tucked your little bit of hair that didnt make it in the rubber band behind your ear.               As he walked you to your bedroom to lay down he assisted you with taking your clothing off, though flustered enough where his eyes were closed the whole time, though when you assured him you were dressed he opened his eyes, the beast inside still a bit flustered by seeing you in your PJs, his red face gulping a bit as he looked at you. “I have to get used to this....after all...I..wanted to talk to you today remember...?” he asked as you nodded crawling into your bed and laying down a bit, “I wanted to ask you to move in with me.... I want to see you every day after work....and sleep next to you...I want to come home with flowers and tell you how nice it is to see you... you are suck an inspiration to me and every time I see you I cant help but feel more alive....I want to take the next step together and live with you, so please.....will you do me the honors of moving in with me...” he said bowing a bit deeply, his face bright red, about as red as his eyes, “You...dont have to answer tonight, and Ill remind you tomorrow.....I have keys made for you if you choose to...so please think about it...” he said blushing more as he looked up at you to see your smiling face. His face lit up as he could tell what your answer was, though he quickly cleared his throat, the blush still running across his face, “T-think about it alright love...? For now though...I want you to sleep...and rest.. Ill be here in the morning alright...I already called in for the day off tomorrow....Ill make sure you are comfy and healthy after... tonights endeavors...” he said with a low chuckle as he turned your light off and walked over to your bed, laying next to you, holding you to his chest. You felt so relaxed and so calm, falling asleep you could hear his heart beat, and feel his warmth again, “I love you my darling queen.....I will always love you.....and I will always be here for you...for now on...” 

[reapiing-souls-blog]

💀 - Hope you burn in hell

💀for a drabble of my muse killing yours | Selectively Accepting

//Love youuuu

Love was never an easy thing. It never had been,  there was no doubt about that. Things seldom worked out, all Gabriel knew was heartbreak and pain when it came to love…but when he found him. When he found the man that lit up his life like no other had, he knew that he had to hold on and keep him. Regardless of their years working together before Zurich, before the fall- before everything went to hell. When he first saw Genji again, it seemed as if his life had been completed, he was that missing puzzle piece that fit so perfectly into the void that was Gabriel’s heart. Even if Gabriel was a terrorist, a murderer, a shell of the man that he once was- Genji still accepted him, saw him as the man deep at his core, saw the humanity that lurked within the darkness. And Genji was that spark that had lit Gabriel up so beautifully, that had let that humanity within him thrive, he had brightened Gabriel’s life like none other before him had.

He cherished what he had with the cyborg, even if it wasn’t exactly ethical by any means, even if they had to sneak around to see one another for the time being- just until Gabriel could destroy Talon from the inside. And how quickly things could turn tragic…it didn’t take long for Talon to figure out what Reaper had planned. There was no justifying, no protesting, just him being taken into custody in the comfort of his own room. Turned from a leader to a prisoner in one easy second, force into the same role that Amelie had been pushed into. The endless hours of gruesome experiments, gruesome reconditioning. It sucked away everything that he had been slowly rebuilding. Every ounce of love that he held within him was sucked dry, gone and taken away from him in a moments notice. He had turned cold, shut down completely to protect the smallest ounce of sanity that still resonated within him. He couldn’t feel…everything was numb. He couldn’t hear his heartbeat, he couldn’t even feel it…all the pain and ache that he had over the years since he became this monster..it was all gone- and it was nice.

His gaze was cold, blank, as he listened to his superior give him orders. Track him down, bait him out, and kill him. It was easy enough and Gabriel was more than happy to comply. A nod being given before he turned on his heels and walked out. Robotic like in movements, following his programming perfectly. It wouldn’t take much to bait Genji out, it was easy to get a hold of him and get him. He retreated to his quarters, rifling through his belongings before he found it. An old flip phone with one unnamed contact on it, but he knew exactly who it was. Claws were dull against the screen as he typed out a simple message- location and time. And to play more to the act, he made sure to send a heart along with it, knowing it would draw him out even more. As much as this should have hurt him, as much as he should be fighting against it…he couldn’t. He had no will of his own anymore, he was simply shut down…robotic as ever, and he couldn’t bring himself to break the cycle. It would cost his sanity to do that, and he knew that if he were to do such a thing then his shadows would fully take over…fully consume him.

It wasn’t much later, Reaper was waiting patiently at the discussed meeting place. Claws glimmering in the dim light as they tapped impatiently against his side. Then he heard it- a slight movement. He seemed to perk up a bit, eyes narrowing beneath the mask as he waited for whatever it was to show itself. Quiet steps were heard and then he saw him once again- that cyborg that he had once held so dear to him. Genji’s hands moved to remove his mask, smile on his lips as he approached Gabriel, arms wrapping around him. ❝I missed you, Gabriel.❞ His voice was sweet as honey, a certain fondness within it that came with a seasoned relationship. A sweetness that caused a sharp ache resonating within Reaper’s chest. He tried to ignore it, swallow down the feeling- he wouldn’t let it affect him. He was a killer now, a pawn for Talon, and he would do what was ordered of him. When Gabriel didn’t return the embrace, Genji took a step back, brows furrowing as he looked up at his former commander. ❝Gabriel?❞ He asked quietly, ❝Is something wrong?❞ there was worry in his tone and it caused yet another sharp pain in Gabriel’s chest. He had to do this quickly before his emotions fully came back…before he failed his mission and got punished yet again.

A deep breath escaped the wraith, his hand moving to remove his own mask and place it aside. Genji at the very least deserved to look his killer in the eyes, to know what was going on when it happened. His hand that rested on his side slipped to the holster, fingers wrapping around the grip of his gun.  His own brows knit together as he looked at Genji. No words were said as he slowly pulled his gun from its holster, aiming it at Genji. ❝Gabe…?❞ There was a panic in his voice, and it simply went in one ear and out the other, it was a quick shot to the chest, gun still raised in the air after it had happened. What he had expected to be a instant death was the quiet opposite of it. Genji seemed to stumble backwards slightly, eyes wide as his fingers grazed over the bullet wound in his chest- staining with a bright red. The look in his eyes though…the betrayal, the pain, the heartbreak…the way tears cascaded down his cheeks so seamlessly. That was more than enough to pull Gabriel back into this reality, back into his actual mind set.

The gun fell to the floor with a loud clank, his arm trembling as he watched Genji collapse onto his knees. Blood oozing out of the wound in his chest with such an ease. ❝Oh my god…❞ his voice was strained, shaky as he stared down at the bloodied mess he had made. He was quick to get on his knees, grabbing Genji’s shoulders and pulling him close. ❝Genji…Hey hey- ❞ The cyborg’s blood coated his hands, his coat- everything. But he didn’t give a damn, what he cared about now was getting him in a stable condition and getting him fixed up. He didn’t give a damn about the consequences- he didn’t fucking care anymore. How had he been so blind to the most important thing in the world to him? He held Genji over his lap, gazing down at his face with knit brows, looks of worry flashing across Gabriel’s face as he watched the colour begin to drain. Hand moved to rest against Genji’s cheek, lightly patting it. ❝Hang in there…please…❞

Genji stared up at him, the tears had stopped falling from his own cheeks now. Instead they were wet with Gabriel’s tears, he couldn’t understand why he had done this- why he had turned on him so easily. Shaky hand moved to press over the one that rested against his cheek, a deep breath being taken in. ❝Why?❞ Was all he could ask- voice hoarse and croaking as the blood pooled beneath the two of them. There was pain in his voice, ache and betrayal…he  didn’t give a damn about being shot- he was upset that it was Gabriel who did it. That Gabriel looked him in the eyes as he pulled the trigger.

Tears slipped down Gabriel’s cheeks as he let out a quiet sob, fingers trembling against his cheek. ❝I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…I- Talon- they…❞ his chest was heaving, he couldn’t seem to catch his breath. ❝I’m so sorry Genji. They fucked me up- and I…I couldnt.❞ A soft hiccup as he pulled Genji closer to him, he was a trembling mess despite being the one who had hurt his lover. ❝Please don’t leave me…Please.❞

Of course Talon had done something to Gabriel…that was the only possible reasoning for him acting out like this. Genji completely understood, and while he hurt, while he felt betrayed as hell, he wouldn’t let Gabriel feel bad. He knew that he would leave soon…that he was slipping from this world. He would be there to comfort his lover even in his dying breaths. His hand slowly moved, fingers brushing against Gabriel’s cheek and a small smile curved onto his lips. Nothing but love was in his gaze now, ❝Its okay…❞ his voice was weak, but he was hanging on even just in these few moments- just for Gabriel. ❝I know you didnt…mean it-❞ A low hiss of pain left him as he sucked in a deep breath. He was struggling to stay here, but he had to make sure Gabriel wouldn’t blame himself. ❝Hey…Hey look at me Gabriel.❞ He swallowed harshly, ❝Its not your fault…please don’t blame yourself, okay?❞

Gabriel leaned into Genji’s touch, shaky breaths leaving him. He didn’t know what to say, or how to react. All he saw on that smile of Genji’s was all the good memories the two of them held together, and now that same smile was here while he was bleeding out in his arms. ❝Genji…I cant- I shouldnt have done this.❞ He couldn’t help but feel guilty, even if he was under Talon’s influence, he still couldnt break the brainwashing on his own- he wasn’t strong enough, and that’s what had gotten them into this situation in the first place.

A stern look pressed onto Genji’s face. ❝Gabriel Reyes.❞ His tone was sharp, leaving no room for argument. ❝Promise me. You will not blame yourself. That’s all I want from you.❞ He took in another deep breath, fingers that were pressing against his cheek digging in ever so gently. ❝Kiss me. Please…❞ It was one last request, tears forming in his eyes as he looked up at Gabriel, a pleading gaze in his eyes.

Gabriel knew better than to argue with him, he wouldn’t. Not now. He slowly nodded,  and it seemed as thought the words were caught in his throat. He couldn’t speak, and so instead he fulfilled that wish. Leaning down he gently pressed his lips against Genji’s, breath hitching as he did so. He stayed there for a few moments, eyes shut completely. And then he heard it- Genji’s voice against his lips. ❝I still love you.❞ It was a simple few words, but something that meant so much to Gabriel.

❝I love you too, Genji.❞ His voice was soft, and it was almost as if those words were all that Genji needed to hear. He felt the breath beneath him still, fingertips slowly slipping from his cheek before the thud of his hand falling into his lap. And it was in that moment that he knew he had lost the love of his life, his soulmate, the one man he loved more than himself. And that was the hardest thing for Gabriel. Knowing that he would never love someone like that again, knowing that he would never have a love like that again, knowing that he would and could never love again.

Love never was an easy thing, was it?

[x-puerbulla-x]

Im drainned dude

hi 10:33 18/08/2019

i need to vent my minds a mess idk, i havvent stopped in months and it has been very draining so i guess idk i didnt wannaa sounds cocky saying all the things i did but for the sake of me wanting tto le it out i will and all of this to lead uo tot he present that was me being eith my dad today and how it was, how i feel about it i guess. So it all starts back in may, 3 months ago, where i was trying to survive with my grades i had to make sure everything was gonna go smoothly in my desenho exam and then i also was starting to feel pressure cause june was coming uo and tbh june is just streeeessssfull, theres first mels birthday on 1st June and one week before we took her to the tosquia too, then theres Beas burthday but also my sobrinho santiago was born, on the 5th an then beas birthday is on the 6th, then theres the aniversary off bea and i's first date in the 16th wheere we had previously planned wed recreate to celebrate and then theres bea and i's actual birthday on the 22nd and we went to pride but i was all very hard cause idk i guess we wanted our first birthday to be good (or at least i really dis which gave it some pressure), but it happened;; we celebrated at pride cause we were lucky enouh this year it was on he 22nd, the 2 days later its my moms birthday and i usually dont do anything but this time i decided i was gnna do something and i did, i recreated her gradma's torta, clean the whole house spotless and then i recreated a card i had made for her back in '06;;; on top of all of these ne is exam seasson and i had to hardcore study for gd everyday trying to reach a unreachable goal of 67 exercises, with so much gd i ended up forgetting a litte about portugues and had to study last minute, luckly i knew what i was doing cause m aware i know pessoa pretty well so my plan was just to study the rest but i dont think i gave it enough time sinse i had an 8, the to desenho i didnt study cause cockly, i dont need to, i had a 13,4 which i wasnt happy with but thats life i guess, it wasnt woth the money tryng to ask for a revisao, well, and at gd i had a 5, when i needed a 10 cause i was aluna externa this resulted that after this hell of a month i had to suffer another one cause i neeeded to learn everything i didnt lean in 1 and a half years id gd, in les than a month so i had to stuy like a crazzy person, this time i didnt have to do 67 exercices it was a lot less but still i couldnt do it and i did as much as i could and more i broke down 10000 billion time ad i thought i couldnt do it i didnt fee prepared and tbh i was terrafied cause if i faied this exam i didnt have my 12th grade done and it as a pain in the ass to think about but still after madess of stdying gd all day and until 5 am i did it only with a 11;;; but i didd  it then that hell of a month ended and we get to this present moth but before that had sams birthday coming up and i wanted to surprise him with a cake cause bea and i had offered him cookie cake not knowing he was vegan now and it was dissapointing when we were like ,,, so you cant have it? cause we didnt know we wasnt jus veegetarian anymore blah blah blah, i had to do preaparations for his birthday and it was stressful, i wanted it to be good, the the day after we celebrate sams birthday im still not able to sit and relax a little cause its 2nd august and bea and i are going to veiros, dont get me wrong i was the one deciding to go but god i was tiring, i had more fun than last time i was there but theere wasa lot more stress too cause renataa was trying to cionvince us to go to university the whole time and it was a pain tbh cause i didnt know what to do but i ha a slight ide that i did wanna go bt then the problem was that because of that they ere all using me as an eexample to convince bea and i felt pressure to be like yeah im absolutely for sure going;;; at the end of the say i didd decide i wanted to go but then i was more stressed cause the dates were ending an i didnt havee my passe for dges cause there was a problem with it and my fcha enes was stuck to cause apparently you had to do thing in the secretaria to pik it up so i emailed the help line of dges for the password and asked my mom to go to school to ick up my ficha and ii did manage to have the pass in time but then the lady lied about the time the secretaria was open apparently cause when lena and my mom went there it was closed and i gess that meant that steess was over but id didnt manage to do the cadidatura in the 1st fase,;;;; which later on i found out i couldnt even do in the first place cause people with exams in the 2nd fase cant do the candidatura in the 1st fase soyahhhh unnecesary stess and now i need to wait until 9th september to do my candidatura and pray im accepted indesenho or pintura cause i do not want escultura as a everyday thing or at least i dont think i do ~ so;;; were n veiros also therees tension in the air cause tia tania an vo rosa are mad at each other, we did a lit of things everyday ehch made it less boring but i was so tired already that doing so much stuff wasnt my favourite at times now we came back 4 days ago but i still havent stoped and im tiredddddd, i think i only stayed 1 day home and it was to clean, we arrived in the 12, i slept in beas house and stayed ther the 13th, then i was home on the 14th, then there was the attempt to go to school take care of the ficha and it as closed but then spent the day with david and sof and bee, then my brother invited me to go meet santiag and then i actually went to school again and go stuff done and then the day arrived and i spent the day with andre and the baby, a friend, lena and rafaela, and her mom too for a bit (she was nice). all pf this leading up for today and this week, today i met with my dad just outside my house, he had miriam and pff idk he was having a talk to me cause we walked shiro and he was just saying o ho mirriam remind him of me and how were very alike and idk what to think of that, he said or drawings are the same and that she has my feitio, asked me to go to his place some day and all and idk it was confusing, he made me remember memories i was repressing, good ones but idk if itss good for me to remember those things, he reminded me of when i used hus bike and surprised him cause i was sall and he used to be on a bike aand id always ask like you could let me use it and etc etc and he was like come on mariana podes la tua andar com a bicicleta do pai its too big and all that and i told hm i couldnt go on it alone cause it was to tall but if he put me up there i could ride it and he did probably just to shit me up and i rode it to the end of the street did a cirve and got back and he was choked and all of this cause he said he really wanted miriam to learn too. he compared me a lot to her and talked about ho he still has lots of my stuff;;;;;;; i complainted about my doctor octopus;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; i guess it was to avoi talking about the situation with lena but he did meantion her at all ot as little as possible and it was weird cause that made it so that the way it was talking it was like i was his only daugther or that lena was never there which made me wonder about things idk i guess i never realised to what degreee i was ay closer to my dad than lena, its no surprisse we always knew lena got the looks of his side of the family but i got the personalty thats why me and andre get along so well (also andres sun is my moon cough) im pretty sure me seeing my dad makes my mom sad too, understandably so i dont plan to do it often, not everyone can be happy in this story and its definitely not my mom going to be the one thats not happy, i own her everything i ever had and tbh i only acceot the times i do see my dad out of ity and guilt and cause admiditely i do miss and crave having a dad idk i guess i never had one for real but id like to, but it doesnt sound very realitic so im not too expectant i dont believe i is ever going to happen i hope days fro here forward are a little more chill although i doubt that, at least for a week or so, maybe a few days if im lucky but today im meeting bea and sleeping there se if thats a bit relaxing, then tomorrow im supposed to go soewhwere with david and sof and then the day after with david, sof and sam so yah know, a bit busy i wanted to pint and to draw do thins in my sketchbook cause there hasnt been much time ffor that or cabeça i guess and knoowing myself i feel like that might work on making me a little better before the mess starts again cause of the candidaturas in like 2 weeks

anyway

12:46 18/08/2019 bye