#listening to black pus in bed this shit fucks in the best way

[890prodoctions]

Just got a temporary iPhone 5s to use as a temporary phone before I switch to android. And that’s what I’m using to write this post on!

[keanureevesisbae]

sugar sugar - the wedding

Summary: It's Becky and Henry's wedding day 🥰

Sugar Daddy!Henry Cavill x Becky Kim (asian OFC)

Warnings: Daddy kink, anal play, sex, mention of squirting, overstimulation (just what they usually do lol)

Wordcount: 2.4k

Masterlist // Sugar Sugar Masterlist // Sugar Sugar the wedding Masterlist // Previous chapter //

Today is the day. Henry is gonna marry the love of his life. When he kissed her for a short goodbye this morning, he was dragged away by Gino and Peter, who were gonna help him get ready.

Since Becky couldn’t decide who she wanted to be her maid of honor, both of her friends stepped up to the task, which caused Gino and Peter to share the duties of best men as well. He is standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for her to enter. He exchanges a look with Sehun, with whom he became good friends. He loves seeing Becky and her dad reconnect and she actually calls him a lot, even for tasks Henry himself can fix.

For example helping her with building a cabinet or something else she bought from Ikea. Normally she’d turn to Henry, but now she is quick to ask her dad for help and orders Henry , in case her dad asks, to pretend he is too busy with work to help her out.

The two of them are actively working on their bond and it warms his heart to see Becky hug her dad tightly, have their own little inside jokes and simply have the father-daughter relationship she always wanted.

The music changes and Henry looks up from Sehun, only to see Becky in her wedding dress. To describe her as breathtakingly perfect is not even enough. Her long black locks are slightly curled at the bottom of the strands, the dress hugs her in all the right places and the soft smile toying on her lips is enough to make him feel all sorts of things.

To make sure Genevieve wouldn’t nag his head off, he promised her that he would be slightly emotional when Becky would walk down the aisle, however now that she actually is walking towards him, the tears burn in his eyes. He feels the hot tear rolling over his cheek and he is quick to wipe it away.

She holds out her hand and he is quick to take it, helping her up the tiny stairs. ‘Wow,’ he says, ‘you’re gorgeous.’

‘Thank you,’ she says. ‘You look so handsome.’ She places her hand on his chest and smiles. ‘I love you,’ she mouths towards him.

‘I love you too.’

The two of them (and Genevieve) decided that the speech shouldn’t be too long, mostly because Becky said that she hates long speeches that seemed to never end. Henry barely listens anyway, because he is too enthralled, looking at his soon to be wife.

He sure is lucky.

When it’s time for the vows, Becky folds open her paper. She clears her throat a few times, looking up at him.

Oh, look at that, she’s nervous. Henry nods, a simple gesture to encourage her.

‘Growing up,’ she then says, ‘I missed out on a lot and though the dreams of meeting someone, get married and start a life together were what kept me going at the time, deep down I kinda knew it would never happen to me. No love, no care, no someone who would unconditionally show me what affection exactly entailed. Never in a million years did I think I would meet a guy like you.’

Henry squeezes in her hand as he notices the tears burning in her eyes.

‘You’re everything I ever wished for and even more than that. Henry, I know I tell you this a lot, but… Thank you for barging into my life, for completely changing it, for helping me to become a better version of myself, for believing in me and for always loving me. I don’t think I could say that I would be where I am now if it weren’t for you. I love you.’

He brings her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss on it, before grabbing his own piece of paper. Shit, he shouldn’t cry, but seeing the things he wants to say to her, is making him slightly teary. ‘Sweet Becky,’ he says, ‘believe it or not, but I accepted the fact that I would die a single man, however you changed my life for the better. I think it started with that sweet smile of yours, when I realized I never ever wanted to live another day without you. The fact it took so long before the two of us finally got together, is all my fault and I totally take the blame for that one.’

She chuckles.

‘I love you, Becky and I promise you I will take good care of you, love you forever and ever and try to be the best husband I can be for you, though you deserve so much better.’

They slide on the rings and when he finally hears the words: ‘You may kiss the bride,’ he doesn’t waste a second before pressing a loving kiss on her lips. Their first kiss as husband and wife.

‘I love you,’ he whispers against her lips. ‘I love you so much, Becky.’

‘I love you too, Henry,’ she says. ‘And I’ll forever do that.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Genevieve wouldn’t be Genevieve if she wouldn’t speech at the wedding reception. ‘Okay,’ she says, ‘if I can have your attention, please.’

The seventy guests they invited are all quiet and Genevieve gracefully thanks them.

‘I have known Becky for quite a few years now and let’s just say that she was hitting rock bottom at a very tender age.’

‘Gen,’ Becky says, frowning and pouting a little.

‘I promise you, it’ll be a lovely speech.’ Genevieve clears her throat and says: ‘She was always happy, but there was always this certain… How do I say this? Emptiness to it. Like her life didn’t have the right seasoning. But then this lady met Henry and lemme tell you: I was very jealous at first. Greg, honey, no offense, but damn, I was this close of leaving you.’

‘You and me both, baby,’ Greg chuckles.

‘The thing between these two, was that there was this spark, something they had yet to discover themselves. I mean, the two of them spend Christmas and the universe what other festive days together and didn’t confess their undying love for one another. How oblivious do you want it?’

Becky places her hand on Henry’s and with his thumb of his other hand, he caresses her wedding ring.

‘So, when these two finally admitted their love for each other, they are just disgusting as you can imagine. I hate it, but love it at the same time. You know, our sweet Becky deserves the world and Henry is the only one that comes even remotely close to what she deserves.’

‘Aw, that’s so sweet,’ Becky says.

‘Mister Sehun, kind sir, please cover your ears, because I’m gonna say something about your daughter you might not like.’

‘Gen, I swear to—’ Becky starts, while Sehun covers his ears and that’s when Genevieve says: ‘These two fuck like bunnies and honestly no one can tip to their sex life. I can know, I caught them once, but that’s all I’m gonna say about the matter.’

Becky looks over to Henry, who can’t hide his smirk, because it’s kinda funny. He presses a kiss on her temple and Genevieve gestures to Sehun to uncover his ears, as the rest of the crowd starts to laugh.

‘In conclusion, these two are everything every couple wants to be, but never will be. I’m so forever grateful that Becky found herself a good man and Henry should know that this woman is a once in a life opportunity. No matter how intense and intimidating he looks, I’ll make sure Greg will try and kick your delicious looking ass.’

Becky shakes her head, as she starts to laugh. ‘I appreciate it, Gen. Thank you.’

The afternoon turns into the night and after multiple dances, the married couple stands near the side, admiring the guests dance around. After it turned out that Sehun was a wonderful dancer, Gen and Viola pried him away from Becky to dance with him as well.

Henry wraps his arms around Becky’s waist, pressing a kiss on her temple as he gently sways her on the rhythm of the music. ‘Daddy can’t wait for all those people to go,’ Henry whispers in her ear.

‘And why is that?’ she asks, placing her hands on his.

‘Because I need to show you how much I love you, especially since you’re my wife now.’

‘Your wife,’ she says in a content tone. ‘Sounds amazing, you know?’

‘I can easily get used to it,’ he says. ‘Mrs. Cavill.’

✤ ✤ ✤

The door of their hotel suite has only shut for a second, when Henry says: ‘As gorgeous as you look in your wedding dress, I need you to take it off.’

Becky bats her eyes, as if she doesn’t understand why. ‘Why?’

‘Because you are my wife now and I need you.’ He takes off his tie and throws it to the corner of the room. ‘Fuck, baby, I need you so bad.’

‘Then you need to help me out of this thing, because I can’t reach the back.’

‘My pleasure.’ He unzips the dress and he presses a kiss on her bare shoulder. ‘I love you, baby girl.’

‘I love you too,’ she whispers. ‘I really do.’

Oh, does he love that tone. He turns her around as the dress slides down her body. ‘You’re not wearing a bra, baby girl?’

‘It has cups in it,’ she explains, as Henry explores her body with his hands. ‘Don’t look at me like that,’ Becky chuckles. ‘Honey, you’ve seen me naked before.’

‘I indeed do,’ he says, ‘but I haven’t seen you naked as my wife yet.’

‘Is it different?’

He nods. ‘In such a good way. I’m so in love with you and your beautiful body. Fuck,’ he mumbles, wrapping his fingers around the waistband of her underwear and pulls it down. ‘We’re married now, baby girl.’

‘I know,’ she chuckles. ‘Daddy, please make love to me.’

‘Make love?’ he asks with a chuckle. ‘I don’t know about that.’

She bites her bottom lip, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. ‘Well, let’s get you out of that suit first, okay?’

✤ ✤ ✤

Henry cannot help but completely worship Becky’s body, even as she shivers next to him on the bed. His chest is covered in her juices, as she squirted all over him as she was riding him. As she is on her stomach, her legs a little shaky and a thin layer of sweat on her back, he opens the bedside table. ‘I brought something, sweetheart.’

‘What is it?’ he hears her ask, while he pulls her up by her hips. She rests on her knees and knows exactly how to arch her back.

Shit, and this woman is his wife now.

‘It’s your favorite,’ he whispers, spreading her ass cheeks apart, brushing the cold tip over her puckered hole. She moans out loud as he slowly pushes it in. ‘Fuck, you take it so well.’ He smacks her bottom and not wasting anymore time, he thrusts his painfully hard member deep inside of her. Her hands clench into fists, as she holds on tightly on the sheets.

‘Daddy, you feel so good,’ he hears her whine. The room is filled with her moans, the nearly obscene sounds of her wet pussy and the slapping of skin against skin.

‘You feel good too, baby girl. Fuck, you’re my wife now.’ He holds tightly onto her waist, before he pulls out and turns her over. He pushes some of her hair out of her face. ‘Mrs. Cavill,’ he says, placing his hand on her cheek.

She chuckles. ‘That’s me.’

‘You’re so beautiful.’ He spreads her legs and pushes himself back into her sensitive hole. Her velvet walls wrap around his hard member and he gives her a kiss.

The night seems endless, but definitely not in a bad way. He watches her fall apart over and over again and she takes shaky breaths, hoping to regulate a bit, as she shudders underneath him.

‘How many times have you cum, baby?’ he asks, stilling his movements, to press a kiss on her cheek. ‘Tell daddy.’

‘F- Fo- Four times.’

‘Want to make that five times,’ he starts, ‘before I fill you up?’

She lets out a dragged moan, pushing her nails in his arms. ‘Please, daddy,’ she begs.

Becky is on the verge of crying as he slowly builds up the speeds of his thrusts. He watches tears running over her cheeks, but he recognizes it. He knows she’s not in discomfort, merely being so sensitive and overstimulated. As long as she doesn’t safe word or he deems it necessary to stop, he will continue.

‘You’re doing so good for me, baby girl,’ he whispers, kissing the tears away. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ she whimpers. ‘You’re amazing.’ He pounds deep inside of her and her moans are becoming louder and more desperate. ‘I can’t anymore, daddy.’

‘Tell me the word and I’ll stop.’

She doesn’t. ‘I’m tired.’

‘That’s not the word.’

Becky wraps her arms around him and gives him a kiss. ‘Are you close, daddy?’

‘I am,’ he whispers. ‘Where do you want it? Still inside, darling?’

She nods, while her walls clench around him and that’s when he spills his seed. He buries his face in her neck, his lips salty as he kisses her sweaty skin, whilst riding out his high. He has stilled his movements and asks if she’s okay.

‘Just catching my breath,’ Becky chuckles, clinging against him.

‘Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth, sweetheart.’ She laughs and he gives her a kiss. ‘You did well. Daddy’s proud of you.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Genevieve: I think you two forgot I have the room below you in the hotel

Genevieve: Goodness me, how long were you at it?

Viola: Two hours and forty seven minutes

Viola: Yes, I timed, because I had a room above you and even I could hear it

Genevieve: Since we were in on the fun, you should at least give us the details

Becky: No

Genevieve: You’re no fun

Viola: I think this was just a preview of what they are gonna do on their honeymoon

Genevieve: Oh right, the honeymoon on the sex island

Becky: You guys…

Viola: The NAKED honeymoon on the sex island

✤ ✤ ✤

Becky’s wedding dress

[blackmissfrizzle]

Skin

Pairing: Angel Reyes x black!reader

Summary:Angel gets to see your dancing skills.

Warnings: Smut

A/N: Inspired by a conversation with @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​. Also a special dedication to @starrynite7114​

I strongly suggest listening to Rihanna’s Skin while reading.

Coco was dragging the Mayans to a dance studio. The girl he was seeing at the time invited him to see her routine. “I don’t understand why we don’t just go to a strip club.” Gilly complained as they made their way through the parking lot. “This is free, man! They may not be naked, but you might get a lap dance. Now stop complaining!” Coco stomped out his cigarette and put some pep in his step.

Trish and her group just finished performing their rendition and now it was your group’s turn. “Oh, there he is!” Crystal whispered excitedly to you. Turning around you saw Coco waving at Crystal with the rest of the Mayans behind him.

Immediately, you started freaking out. None of them could see you like this. Especially, your best friend Angel. They all thought you were an innocent schoolteacher, not some dancing vixen.

You went out to seek reprieve from your other best friend and dance instructor, but she was already shaking her head no. “C’mon Nic, please! You perform with the group!”

“Nope! This is kismet. The forces at be wants you and Angel to bang and who am I to deny them?” Before you could stop her, she began to introduce you and your group. “Anddd, we have a special little treat,” Nikki stood behind you and clipped the microphone to the bottoms under your sweatpants. “Miss. Y/N here will be singing as well as dancing.”

Angel quirked an eyebrow at you saying, “Really?” In return you gave him a small smile and shrugged.

As the best starts, the dance studio dims to a blueish purple color, setting the mood that you’re singing about. The further along the song played, the more you got into it and stopped worrying about what Angel would think. Usually, you would find an unsuspecting target to sing and dance to, but instinctively you zeroed in on Angel. Tonight, he was gonna be the object of your desire.

I got a secret that I wanna show you, oh

I got a secret so, I'mma drop em to the floor, oh

You teased as if you were gonna strip out of your sweats and when you didn’t you swore you heard Angel say ‘fuck’. His eyes got fiery and you knew you had him under your spell, so you gave him a sly little smile. Angel raised another eyebrow saying, ‘You better quit while you’re ahead’, but did you listen? Hell no!

Go deep, I'mma throw it at you Can you catch it? Don't hold back You know I like it rough

You hit the squat, tugged on your own hair and bit your lip. “Oh shit!” Coco was there for Crystal, but he couldn’t help but be entranced by you. Angel hit him in his stomach when he caught him lurking at you too long for his tastes. “Look at your own fucking girl.”

“Hate to break it to you mano, but everyone’s staring at your girl.” Angel looked around and Coco was right. His brothers were getting their eyeful of you, even his baby brother. “Really, Ezekiel?”

“Sorry man. It’s like she’s a fucking siren.” They were so consumed with arguing within themselves they didn’t notice that you were slowly strutting towards Angel.

So why you standin' over there witcha clothes on?

Baby, strip down for me, go on, take 'em off

Don't worry, baby, I'mma meet you halfway

'Cause I know you wanna see me

Angel held his breath as he watched your body move towards him. He always knew you had a banging body, but the way you moved confirmed it. His eyes followed every little move you made.

Almost there (ha, ha)

So baby don't stop what you're doing (Uh-huh, ah)

Softer than a mutha, boy, I know you wanna touch

Breathing down my neck, I can tell you wanna (No-o-ow)

Finally, you were close to Angel. You had sung into his ear as you slid your hand down his chest to his sizable crotch. “Querida, you’re playing a dangerous fucking game. You better be sure you can handle the consequences.” Oh, he was really pissed, but not as pissed as he was about to be.

I got a secret that I wanna show you, oh

I got a secret so, I'mma drop em to the floor, oh

Unlike the other time, you weren’t a tease and took off your sweats and over shirt, revealing solid black bikini bottoms covered in fishnet shorts with a black bikini top to match.

No heels, no shirt, no skirt, all I'm in is just skin

No jeans, take 'em off, wanna feel your skin

You a beast, oh, you know that I like that skin

Come here baby, all I wanna see you in is just skin

O-o-oh, oh, oh, oh your skin

O-o-oh, oh, oh, oh just skin

O-o-oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm lovin' your skin

Oh, oh

The male dancers joined in and it was practically dry humping to Angel. The chemistry between you and your partner had him seething. To Angel it seemed that if your dance partner could, he would’ve fucked you right then and there. “Imma kill him,” Angel muttered to himself.

“Calm down, playboy. Look,” EZ pointed out to you walking towards him again.

All I wanna see you in is just skin

All I wanna see you in is just skin

Oooh

All I wanna see you in

All I wanna see you in is your skin, oh

You circled around Angel as if he was your prey, but in reality, you were his. He’d have to show you as soon as this song was over. His eyes followed you as you circled him. He wasn’t missing one second of this. As you surrounded him you took off his kutte and put it on yourself. Angel knew he was gonna fuck you once he saw you started dancing, but when you put his kutte on he knew he was gonna fuck you while you wear that and nothing else.

The song continued to slow down, and you slid your back against Angel’s front as if he were a human pole. “Y/N,” he growled, warning you, but you weren’t listening.

You were no longer singing, but the instrumental kept playing. The outro was freestyle, so you let the music flow through you and did whatever came to you naturally. And naturally you wanted to tease Angel. Since you near the ground, you slid down to your chest to arch your back. To go a bit further, you slid your hand under your body to grab your clothed pussy.

You couldn’t see, but you could hear the little commotion of the Mayans behind you. It sounded like Angel was ready to snatch you right off the floor and the others had to stop him.

Rolling over your head, you hit the splits which earned you cheers from the other dancers. Looking over your shoulder at Angel while biting your lip, you bounced up and down. He tilted his head at you and clenched his fists. You could tell he was hanging on by a thread, but you just weren’t through with him yet.

Crystal and you got together and began grinding on one another until you got into a squat, twerking on one another. But this time your eyes were on Coco. When Angel saw he wasn’t in your eyesight, he moved to stand in front of Coco. “Angel, move! I can’t help it if Y/N wants to look at a real man,” he teased. “Man, fuck you!”

You could see that Angel could possibly start wrestling Coco, so you removed yourself from Crystal and started popping one butt cheek at a time. That kept Angel’s attention until the song was over.

Everyone applauded your group. Yahir, your dance partner came and gave you a hug. “Damn, Y/N you did the damn thing!”

“Thanks! You weren’t too bad,” you joked, nudging his shoulder. Your conversation didn’t last too long because Angel with your duffel came and interrupted it. He kissed the side of your forehead and whispered into your hair only low enough for you to hear. “Tell your friend goodbye before I beat his fucking ass.”

“But I want to see everyone else dance.”

“Nah, we got some business to handle, querida.”

Yahir stretched his hand across your body to shake Angel’s hand. “You must be Angel. Y/N talks about you all the time.” Angel gave him a weak shake. “Yeah, I’m sure she does. Anyway, we gotta go.” Angel didn’t even attempt to say bye, he just drugged you to the door.

“Bye, Y/N!” Coco told you as you walked pass him and Crystal. “Bye Johnny,” you sung, giving him a flirtatious smile.

Angel tugged you even harder, making his brothers laugh at him. “Go straight home, no pit stops. Understand me?”

“Yes Angel.” You snatched your keys out of his hands. “Want your kutte back?”

“Nah,” he pressed his hands on your shoulders. “I like you in it.”

Angel kept close to you, not letting a car come in between you two as he followed behind. He even got off his bike before you were able to turn off your car. It was like he was glued to you. He was so damn close to you as you unlocked the door that you could feel his hardon.

When you finally entered your house, Angel threw your things to the side, lifted you in his arms and carried you to your room. “Yo ass like showing out, huh?”

“Angel, what are you talking about? Matter of fact put me down. Best friends don’t act like this.” You tried to wiggle your way down, but Angel held you tighter right on his erection. “Best friends also don’t grab their pussy in front of each other while singing about fucking. But I ain’t trying to be your best friend.”

“Then what are you trying to be, Angelito?”

“Your man.” His lips hovered over yours. “Hmm, I don’t know if I want that. I know Crystal doesn’t mind sharing, so there would be no problem for me getting at Coco.”

Angel threw you on the bed and ripped your fishnet shorts and bikini bottoms. His tongue surrounded your clit. He suckled on it like he was eating a peach. “Angel!” You wrapped your hands in his ebony hair, pulling on it when he wouldn’t give you release.

He lifted his head and licked his lips. “It ain’t nice to tease, is it?”

“No,” you cried out. “Then who’s pussy is this?”

You should’ve just let it go and comply, but your whole friendship with Angel was built on teasing and you weren’t about to stop it now. “Mm, I’m still stuck between Coco and Yahir. Maybe I’m leaning more towards Yahir. Did you see how he practically pounded my pus-”

Angel caught you off with his dick. Now you were a mumbling mess. “Huh, what was that mami?” He cupped his ear, pinning you down with his other hand. Still no words could be formed. Never in your life have you had the delicious mix of pain and pleasure. Angel was stretching you out in all the the right ways. “Angel, please. Move.” You were gripping onto his wrist from how intense he felt.

“Nah, not until you tell me who this sweet pussy belongs to.” It was killing Angel not to move, but he knew he had to wait you out. “Shit, Angel you! You own this pussy, my body, my heart!”

A lone tear fell down Angel’s cheek. “I love you, Y/N. Always have. Let me show you.” Angel began moving, giving you slow, deep powerful strokes.

Cupping his face, you leaned up to kiss him. “I love you, Angel.”

Your proclamation drove Angel crazy. It was the words he’s been waiting years to hear. He tore his kutte and your top off your body and flipped you over on your knees. “Give me that arch that you were throwing in my face earlier,” Angel ordered with a smack to your ass.

A thrill ran through you, but you were a little upset that he took his kutte off you. “I thought you wanted to fuck me with your kutte on.” You looked behind you and shook your ass a little.

Angel kissed you down your spine, making you shiver with each one. “We got time for that later. Right now I need to feel your skin against mines.” Angel slid right in, causing you and Angel to spill out a harmonious, “Fuck.”

This time Angel fucked you faster, but still hitting you deep. “Look at my dirty little puta creaming all over my cock.”

“Angel,” you whined, reaching behind you, trying to push him away. It was too much. He was too much. The pleasure, the ecstasy was overcoming you.

Angel grabbed both of your wrists and held them with one of his hands. “Nah, take this dick. Keep that same energy you had earlier.”

He was brutal with how good he was making your body feel. Every time he felt you lose a bit of your arch, Angel would pull out of you until it was just like he liked it. “Don’t be getting lazy on me now.”

“Please, daddy! Let me cum!” You begged on the verge of tears. “Only because you asked nicely.” Angel let go of your wrists and snaked his hand under you to rub on your clit. The added pressure had you falling apart, screaming Angel’s name.

“Shit, querida, I’m cumming.” Angel pulled out of you, jerking himself off until his seed coated your back. He got all primal and possessive when he saw you covered in his cum. You felt Angel fingers dip into his cum on your back. “Angel, what are you doing?” You asked tiredly. “Just making you mines.” He snapped a picture of his work and showed it to you.

With all the energy you could muster up you turned towards him and rolled your eyes. “Really, Angel? AIR?”

He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “There wasn’t enough for Angel Ignacio Reyes.” Throwing a pillow at him, you hit him in the face. “I hate you!”

“I love you, too,” he chuckled, pulling you both to lay down and get some rest before round 2.

Tags: @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​ @starrynite7114​ @brownsugarcoffy​ @bigsisbria​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @sadeyesgf​ @ifoundmyhappythought​ @angelreyesgirl​ @woahitslucyylu​ @thickemadame​ @my-rosegold-soul​ @ourlittlesecretsoveragain​ @ljstraightnochaser​ @angrythingstarlight​ @imanerdychubbyqueen​

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #441

“all alone, he turns to stone while holding his breath after death  /  terrified of what’s inside, to save his life he crawls like a worm from a bird”

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yep, a few. What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? If I'm having a really bad day, I can tolerate as early as 7:00. :x What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Honey ham, probably. What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summer is disgusting. It's too hot, too humid, too many bugs, and I just hate it. Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? No, that sounds gross. What is your favorite color to wear? b l a c k Are you an overachiever? Oh, hunny. What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Maybe uhhhh big eyes. What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'hara) would you marry? Darkiplier bc he is merely a misunderstood soft boi. How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? Legs: It's been nearly a year. Pits: not that long, considering I shave them every time I get in the shower. What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone else? I'm sure it would be something in one of the letters I sent Jason. Or Dad. Idk. Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? The phase never ended lmao. What is your favorite thing about your life? My loved ones. Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire? Sorry, but I'm picking the animals. Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? Yes. How many real bfs/gfs have you had? Two. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Yes. Except for when I was with Tyler. Name a comedy that you like. White Chicks. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah. What’s the best Nirvana song? I'm not sure, really... Maybe "Drain You?" What was the last thing that impressed you? No clue. When was the last time you were in a pet store? Several months ago when I went in to get more rats for Venus. What nationality is your last name? Irish. What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Plain, rippled Lays in French onion dip. Who was the last boy that you saw cry? I don't know, actually. It may have been Sara's dad, which was years ago. Does your mom know you do surveys? I mean no, it's not like it's come up in conversation. Have you ever had a serious injury? When I was a kid, there was this one time I was running down the road with my friend, and I tripped; I was a fast runner, so I skinned the everliving FUCK out of my knees to the point there was even pus. I was SOBBING, and it took weeks to heal; I had the scars for years. What was the last thing you achieved? Losing weight at the gymmmm. Staying dedicated to going. Would you enjoy being famous? No. I couldn't take all the eyes on me and even ONE person's negative judgment. What’s under your bed? A big box of my art supplies. Do you enjoy travelling? Yeah. I wish I could do it more. Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? No. When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? Not since I first tried it at elementary school. It was absolutely disgusting. Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? I doubt it. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? No. If I'd listened to him while driving, I could've gotten myself killed while merging onto the highway. People are assholes and didn't want to move over. Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Probably "Freakshow." Does mind over matter work for you? Not usually, no. Are you paranoid? Oh yes. What is the best thing about winter? Everything!!! Literally the only BAD thing about winter is the dry skin/lips. I love the cold, Christmas and all that comes with it, the decor, hot chocolate, snow, getting all cuddly... Everything. :') Have you ever been truly in love? Absolutely. Are you currently planning a trip? No. A trip to Illinois is just a wish right now. How many plants are in your home? None, I think? What is your favorite possession? Excluding my pets (because I don't like calling them "possessions"), probably my laptop. Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? I have before, yes. What movies have tripped you out? Off the top of my head, the only entertainment media in general that has ever truly "tripped me out" was the first time I played the Silent Hill game. The movie didn't affect me to that level because I already understood the concept. When I watched Jason play it for the first time, I was SO confused and just blown away by the concept that I did loads of research and just thinking about it all. That franchise is just cool as shit, okay. Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? I LOVED rollerblading. I haven't done it in years, though. Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? NO. I will NOT settle. Being genuinely in love with my partner is too important to me for me to ever do so. I don't know if any of my friends are in that situation. Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? With my current body? FUCK no. If I was happy with my body, the answer is still probably no. I'm too self-conscious and awkward with that kind of stuff, and besides, I really don't think I want a picture like that to exist of myself to avoid potential trouble. Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No. What summertime treats do you love? We have this local slushy place that is FUCKING BOMB. It may sound basic, but they have SUCH a vast variety of flavors and goodies you can top it with that it's truly just so amazing. How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I am VERY picky. I have to be really interested in you. Save for how things were with Tyler... I just felt like I was supposed to. What do you hate most about moving? I. Hate. The process. Of moving. It is just so, so stressful to me. I have a very hard time confronting big tasks, and that's exactly what packing and unpacking entails. Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? Not necessarily. Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? No. Has anyone ever whistled at you? I don't think so. Do you like scarves? No. Is your father homophobic? Possibly. I don't actually know. I honestly don't think he took Sara's and my relationship seriously, so that may be a sign. Do you take gummy vitamins? The only vitamin I take now is vitamin D, which isn't a gummy. Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? Ha, yeah. I gave Jason a makeover once. Who would you like to meet before you die? MARK. I am so determined, alsdjfkaj;wek;rj. I just want to hug him and say thank you and ugly-cry. If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? No. Even if I had the body of a model. What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The fuckin' flat earth theory, probably. If Heaven and Hell exists, where you going when you die? Well, considering I have an, uh, very negative opinion of the Christian god... Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My mom. The day she passes is a day I am inexplicably horrified of. What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? My life. If there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? My mom really could use it. Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I love "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse, but idk if it was actually written for the movie. How old was the first person you kissed? He was 18 when we first kissed. Will you be a strict parent one day? I never want to be a parent. If I hypothetically became one, I don't think I'd be strict, necessarily, but very protective. Last person to stand up for you? Probably Mom, idk. Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, a few. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My dad. What’s your favorite high school memory? Just... a lot with Jason. Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? I prefer being in a (healthy) relationship, but I won't get into one just for the sake of having one. What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? Hmmm... scuba-dive, maybe? What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math. Italian food or Chinese food? Italian. I don't really like (most) Chinese food. Do you like to make flash cards when you study? I rarely did that. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Yes, somehow. Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? No. I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. Ashley. What do you think about Marilyn Manson? He's one of my favorite musical artists, but he's a disgusting dick personally. Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? Nothing, really. I was a very well-behaved kid. Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? Yeah, I have a Canon. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? No. Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Not every year, but most. Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No. Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loooove them. Did you ever play Minecraft? Nah. My niece is getting into it. Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? I did have one. I wasn't one of those premium members or anything like that; I just had a basic account. Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Bitch me. It's extremely embarrassing. I 100% got it from my dad. What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? The manner through which Jason broke up with me. It left me traumatized. What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people that think only they matter and have no consideration for how their actions affect other people. If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? I'd lose a shitload of weight, for one. My teeth would be whiter, my eyes bigger and bluer, I'd want my hair colored/able to hold color far better, I'd lighten and lessen my body hair, make my skin clearer, thin my eyebrows... I'd change a lot. What are your feelings on feminism? MANDATORY. Absolutely necessary in a misogynistic society. However, I do believe some people take it way too far to a point it is anti-man and puts women on a holy pedestal. It is about equality. Describe your first relationship? Perfect, until it wasn't. Describe your last relationship? Wonderful and healthy, but distance and our health were issues at the time. Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? My history with sex is confusing and complicated and I really don't know. Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? Thinking about it... it's probably because of how Simba runs from his problems and bad memories, but returns to confront them and is victorious. That's how I want to be. What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? That I'm nice and clearly sincerely cared about them and their feelings. Do you feel protective over someone? My sisters, nieces and nephews, Sara... What perfume/cologne do you wear? It's called "Blush." Where did your vehicle come from? I don't have my own, but Mom's came from a girl at the dance studio. She ran into a deer, and the front got fucked up, but the sweetheart paid to fix it up to being operable so Mom had her own car. The front bumper is kept intact with zip ties and duct tape, but hey... it works and has for many, many years now, lol. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? Ummmm... I actually don't remember. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? As tenders, probably. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: Red velvet. This year for my bday, our controlling-as-fuck family friend bought me my birthday cake without consulting ANYBODY, and I was so fucking annoyed. It was a very kind gesture, yes, but um, can I have a say, please? What do you wear to bed? Usually men's pj pants and a tank top. What were you doing at 8pm last night? Sleeping, actually. I was extremely tired and went to bed early.

[yayninjabob]

Update 1/20/21

It's been swell having my freedom again now that I'm covid-free.  I'm not going anywhere or anything.  But things like gardening in our backyard, taking my dog-kids Fable and Riot on walks, cuddling with my wifey on the sofa and watching netflix or whatever, and just being able to cook again for myself in the kitchen... I've missed all of it so much.  So much in fact that I've been slacking on editing more than I should, whoops.  SORRY, GUYS.

But I did finish up all my rewrites yesterday FINALLY so the new chapter is nearly done.  All that's left is another swoop of editing and maayyyybee swapping out this one scene I have for another that I originally had planned for 13 instead.  So give me a day or two to decide what feels best for the story while I start tinkering with 13 a bit.

So basically I'm stepping away from 12 today to work on the scene for 13.   Depending on what I decide to do with that scene, I might finish chapter 12 tomorrow night after work, or I might need another day after that.  But I don't think so.  I'm already like 90 percent sure on what I'll probably end up doing lol.   Just gotta write this up first to be sure and it will EASE my perfectionist mind.  Once that's done, then it's final editing and formatting stuff which takes me usually a day or two.

Alright that's just a really wordy way to say I will have CHAPTER 12 up this SUNDAY, JANUARY 24TH.  PROMISE GUYS.  

I feel so bad it's been so long since our last update that I'll share one scene with you guys from 12.  I mean, if you’re checking this blog you're probably looking for an update, right?  Well for now, I hope a little sneak peek will suffice until Sunday.

Personally, I think it's kind of a cool sneaky peeky because honestly it doesn't really give away much of the plot of the chapter and still leaves the suspense of where we last left off pretty much.  SO.  If you wanna read a little bit of 12, here's scene #3 for you guys early.  If you want to avoid it and remain pure, I’ll see you Sunday I guess lol.

Uh... heads up, it's got some gore lol.  A creepy little horror comedy scene, really.  One of my personal faves of the chapter, too.  PLEASE ENJOY.

SNEAK PEEK:  Chapter 12, Scene 3 under the cut....

scene 3

The green Powerpuff lay in the dark unable to sleep.  Even though the teenager had turned out the light hours ago, there was no stopping the never ending loop of the night which still replayed over and over within the young hero's mind.  Buttercup had done nothing but tossing and turning in an attempt to try and find rest that night, and had managed to kick away all of the bedding and sheets.  Laying upon a bare mattress and still hopelessly waiting for sleep with eyes shut tight, there was a sudden faint knocking sound heard coming from within the bedroom.

Buttercup sat up in bed with a jolt the moment the sounds began in the dark.   Immediately the Puff's emerald eyes fell on the door to the bedroom closet.  The door to the closet was shut, but the noise was definitely coming from behind it.  Buttercup watched the door intently, while silently and cautiously moving towards it.  With super hearing activated, the Puff listened to the sound of something rustling about inside, and as the young hero crept closer and closer, there was a rotten, burning stench in the air.  Buttercup reached for the closet door's handle and opened it.

"Where is it?  Dude, it's gotta be somewhere around here!"

Buttercup blinked at the blood soaked kid for a moment before a look of annoyance came next.  The sixteen-year-old Puff watched as the thirteen-year-old apparition  dug around the heap of dirty laundry that littered the closet floor.  The kid had her back turned as she knelt upon both knees over the large pile of laundry and searched frantically for something.   Buttercup groaned, still holding the closet door open, "Oh no....  What are you doing here?  Dude, really, I'm just trying to get some sleep tonight and you showing up now just isn't-"

"Where is it?!" the kid jumped onto their sandy wet sneakers and began to search the shelfing within the closet, "Where the fuck is it?!"  As the thirteen-year-old removed an old snowglobe from the shelf and tossed it carelessly over her shoulder, Buttercup caught it and glared at her.

"Where's what?!" Buttercup snapped at herself.

The kid stopped suddenly and slowly glanced over her shoulder with her ghostly, opaque white right eye.  "Where's the mask?"

"Oh," Buttercup's angry expression softened.  "...It's... gone...."

"...Oh...."

"...Yeah...."

As Buttercup reached over her to return the snowglobe to its spot on the shelf, the kid turned round to face them.  "Can't you get it back somehow?"

The green Puff sighed deeply and floated slowly back over to the bed, "Nah, Dude..." Buttercup reclined upon the bare mattress again, "I think... I think that shit's over now....  I mean, shit's getting pretty serious now that Mojo knows about us.  I'm hoping it all works out tomorrow, and he's really not gonna make me do something fucked up in return for his silence, but... even if he does keep his word..." Buttercup shut both eyes and yawned, "It's just gettin' way too risky, Dude...."

"Huh..." the kid stood at the teenager's bedside, "I thought we were just startin' to have some real fun...."

Buttercup's eyes remained shut, hoping the illusion would go away soon.  "It was fun while it lasted...."

"Sucks, Man....  Say, you got anything I can eat?  I'm fucking starving, Dude-"

"Dude," Buttercup interrupted with annoyance, "Why are you here?"  The green Puff sat up in bed once more and looked towards the kid and saw that she had made her way across the bedroom.  The blood soaked child stood in front of Buttercup's dresser, staring at the pair of birds that sat within their cage.  Her back was towards Buttercup, but Buttercup could see that the kid suddenly gripped something shiny in her right glowing green, acid burnt hand.

"Same reason I always drop by," the kid answered with her back still turned.  The apparition turned her head slightly, and even in the dark Buttercup could make out the devious glint of a small, sly smile as she still gripped whatever was in her hand.  "I'm here to help you out, you know... since you got nobody else, right?"

Buttercup continued to stare at the kid, but chose to remain silent.  The green Puff watched as the illusion returned her attention to the birdcage, and with her left, seared bloody hand, she reached for the cage's small door and opened it.  Both Snot and Pus instantly tried to dart away from the sizzling glowing green acid drenched palm that reached for them, but the kid easily managed to yank the fluttering green bird from the cage.  Buttercup's eyes widened in shock as she watched the kid cut into the squirming, live bird with a shard of glass, slicing the helpless creature straight down the middle.  His yellow companion fluttered about within the closed cage behind them, squawking loudly as the kid raised the green bird to her lips and began to slurp loudly.

All the green Puff could do was look on in stunned silence as the kid continued to suck the blood from the slowly dying bird.   As many times as the green Puff had received a "visit" from their former, "dead" self, this sort of thing... was definitely new.  As Buttercup continued to watch, the green Puff tried to keep in mind that what was being witnessed... could definitely not be happening.

The kid used her tattered black jacket's sleeve to wipe away the fresh blood-stache from her face, before turning to Buttercup.  "Did ya want the other one?"

The green Puff shook their head.

"Suit yourself," the kid shrugged and tossed the dead green bird over her shoulder, before she repeated the same act with the yellow bird next.  

Buttercup still could not look away.  "Dude... what the actual fuck...?" Eventually, the Puff's green eyes drifted slowly back to wear the discarded dead green bird's drained body lay on the floor of the room.   There was a gust of wind and Buttercup watched as the wooden floorboards of the bedroom and the dead bird began to blow away like strange particles of sand.  The green Puff rose from the bed mattress as it next faded away into the dark atmosphere around them.  "Ah, shit, no wonder..." Buttercup laughed a little nervously, "I'm dreaming...."

"We're dreaming," the kid added as she stood beside herself with a grin.

The green Puff glared briefly for a moment at the unwelcomed tag-along before looking around once more.  The once empty black void that was the adolescent's default dreamscape had changed as of late.  It was still a mostly desolate land, but no longer shrouded in total darkness.  Now, the sky shook with thick, dark and thunderous clouds which boomed with a growing, green electricity inside them.  The fiery green light that crackled within the black storm clouds illuminated the land with an eerie green glow.  The earth was cracked and dry and as the storm ahead continued to boom above, the windy weather of the vast wasteland kicked up the sandy dirt around them.

"Well, whaddya  know?  Ya changed up the place, huh?  I like it!" the kid grinned as she cupped one bloody beaten hand over her brow and looked about the dreamscape.  The thirteen-year-old turned back around and saw that she had been left behind as the green Puff continued to float on ahead without her.  "Yo! Wait up!"

The green Puff carried on without stopping, moving towards a large, distant shadow in the east.  After several minutes, the kid managed to catch up, loudly wheezing and gasping for air as she tried to catch her breath beside the casual floating Powerpuff.

"Dude! I told ya to wait up!" she socked Buttercup on the shoulder with a bloody, bruised fist, "I don't have my ghost powers in this dream world!"

"What sorta sense does that make?"

"I dunno!" the kid threw up her hands, "You tell me!"  the kid paused to cough a little, splattering the dirt with blood.  She wiped at her mouth with her tattered sleeve, as she walked quickly beside the Powerpuff, "Here, I'm just like you were when Goody-Goody left ya behind on that island!   Weak and human-y and useless and burning alive!  You remember?"

The green Puff glared at the kid for a moment before muttering, "Yeah.  I remember."

"So, where we goin' anyway?"

As the two approached a tall arched golden gateway, the green Puff stopped and turned towards the kid.  "No way.  You ain't comin' with me, alright?  Why don't you run off somewhere else, and I dunno... play."

"Why?" the blood-soaked kid strained her eyes as she tried to peer through the thick golden bars of the gate. Besides only having one functioning eye, there was a dense mist in the air that made it difficult to see. "Where are we- Oh-" she stopped as her vision focused on a short redhead walking her pet Pomeranian through the garden.  "Her?" the kid laughed a little, "Dude.  What do you see in her, anyway?   Like... do you like gettin' bossed around, or is it the big boobs, or-"

"Shut up," the green Puff rattled the gate a little to get the kid's attention once more, "Look," the skinny teen's scarred hands grasped the kid by her hooded jacket and spun her to her left, "Go that way, alright?  You'll find Ace's place and have a good time."

"OK, cool!" the kid thankfully agreed, "Which building is it?  That one or that one?"

"What are you talkin' about?  There's only one other build-" the green Puff stopped mid sentence, noticing for the first time a tall silhouette in the distance.

The thirteen-year-old watched as the green Puff shot off for the tall structure with a flash of green light.  "Shit!" she started to chase after on foot, "Wait up!"

As soon as the structure came clearer into focus, the flying teen halted mid-air, "The water tower...?"

For a while, the green Puff remained suspended in the sky, watching the tower intently from afar.  As far as the hero could tell, there were no signs of anyone there, but the scene still felt too ominous.  It was several minutes before the teenager worked up enough courage to continue forward.

Touching down on the metal landing of the water tower, the structure was so high up in the eerie green atmosphere that the darkened mist was especially thick and overpowering even for superpowered vision.  The green Puff gulped nervously, walking cautiously around the platform, tense and ready for anything.  Both green eyes glowed as they searched around the labyrinth of the thick metal beams that supported the tower's massive water tank.   As the teenager reached the railing on the other side, far below could be heard the desperate wheezing and coughing of a struggling thirteen-year-old attempting to climb the tower's ladder.

"Oh, Man!" the kid shouted from below, "I don't think I'm gonna make it!  Dude... a little help?!"

The teenager sighed before zipping downward to retrieve the kid from halfway down the ladder.  The green Puff carried her back up to the metal landing and set her on her feet, but the kid instantly collapsed onto the floor, panting heavily from exhaustion.  

"You know..." the wheezing thirteen-year-old spoke between hard breaths, "That's hard enough... without powers... but climbing really sucks... when your hands... practically have no skin..." she sat up and coughed as she struggled to climb back onto her feet.  The kid stood silent for a while as she watched the green Puff continue to intently search around every metal beam of the platform.  "So what's up?" the kid finally asked after a while.  "What're you lookin' for?"

The green Puff came to the center of the landing, and turned to look back at the kid, wearing a somewhat disappointed frown.  "Nothin', I guess."

[byuniieo]

‘Lovely Guardian - CH 1’

「pairing: baekhyun x reader」

「genre:mafia!AU racer!AU & little bit of university!AU」

「☻A ♡F ✿S (later on)」 ✧ 「༄ - on going mini-series」

→ Main Masterlist

→ Lovely Guardian Masterlist

Word Count: 4365 

·˚A/N✎ ﹏ I made a playlist (on spotify) that helped me create this story!! Feel free to listen to it !!

Lovely Guardian’s PLAYLIST ❀

。・゜    ♡ ・ 。       。・゜     ♡ ・ 。       。・゜ ♡   。・゜   ♡ ・ 。

Being early october meant there was rain and cold wind. It was fall and it’s one of your favorite seasons despite you not like being cold. You liked being able to wear warm and big baggy hoodies and the rain made you nostalgic, you thought about the man with the jade green eyes.

You usually stay up till 3AM mainly because you just can’t bring yourself to sleep so easily. I guess you could say it’s insomnia or sometimes you just think too much before going to bed. Last time you thought about having a dragon for a pet and then in the morning you ended up trying to do some witchcraft on a cat, which resulted you in chasing a cat. And no you didn’t get the cat but you found a convenience store that sold some good noodles.

Right now you were sitting at a kitchen island, with all your papers, sketch books and sketches laying around but you were sound asleep. You were just resting there ever so peacf-

“Xeno! Wake the fuck up! Your class starts in 12 minutes and i’m not driving you there!” You felt something smack the right side of your face and as you look up you instantly jumped off the stool you were once sitting on as there was a flying a book headed your way. If you could go back in time, You would’ve rather much gone back to your apartment then to have knocked on this crazy girls door at 3am.

“Damn..be a little nicer, it’s barely 7-” You quickly turned around to check the clock on the living room wall, “7:18..” You scratch the back of your head then taking a small glance the person who kindly interrupted your small sleep, which was the one and only, Kim Joy. A while ago you decided to crash at Joy’s place since tonight you didn’t want to be home alone. You and Joy met when you were in high school, 5 years ago during sophomore year. At that time you thought you met someone who was fully capable of being responsible, sadly enough you bumped into the next big hot mess and here you both are. Surprisingly still alive.

You started to pack your things into your backpack when you decided to actually look at the girl. There she stands tall and beautiful from the roots of her black hair to the very bottom of her heels, dressed in a tight black dress with a brown coat gently falling off her exposed shoulders. You had the urge to brush back the hair falling down, framing her angelic face. Its when you hear her that you snapped out of your thoughts.

“Just take a picture and get over with it.” You look up to her eyes just to see her wink. She’s always been confident in herself, either her body or her face. She never failed to show off her looks. Of course she wasn’t cocky about it, she just liked the attention.

You felt a small chuckle leave your lips and you turned around heading towards the door, “I’m good, Later.” You softly mumbled as you pulled on your old black boots and swung your bag over shoulder.

Opening the door you felt the cold air touching your face and then you heard Joy yell out from inside, “I PUT AN ORANGE JUICE BOTTLE IN YOUR BAG AND DON’T COME BACK LATER CAUSE IM NOT OPENING THE DOOR FOR YOU”

The door slams shut right behind you with a small smile adorning your face as you make your way to your first class of the day. Reaching into your pocket to take out a cigarette from its packet and you lit it up with your pink pocket lighter. Lowering your pale hands you inspect the glitter polish chipping off your nails, you puffed out a cloud of smoke without removing the cigarette from your lips.

You could say you enjoyed dressing up and looking stylish. Occasionally you’d do your makeup and nails. Some days you end up walking out barefaced and still be dressed nicely but now you could care less, with your pink oversized hoodie, over your black ripped jeans and your dirty black pair of boots.

Feeling your body get colder you cover your honey colored hair, then placed your cold hands in your hoodies pocket, you hoped the day would be better than yesterdays.

Although you already knew not to expect much from life.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Your classroom felt warm and comfortable but looking outside you saw raindrops dripping from out of the sky onto the sidewalk below. Luckily you managed to make it to class on time, and now you were just heading out to get some coffee on this cold rainy day. Walking out of your class you saw a couple of students walking around with their umbrellas. So pulling up your hood on, you walk forward and under the rain.

“Hey Xeno! I thought you said you were quitting school?” You turned around to look at the owner of the voice and the hood on your hoodie slides off your head exposing your head to the cold rain.

You look up to see his soft brown hair falling over his dark orbs, you quickly notice his simple outfit, black jeans and a light grey hoodie under his jean jacket and the open umbrella loosely laying on his shoulder. You looked up to meet his eyes and his boyish smile, “Oh Sicheng..” Returning his smile you walked over to him and you grabbed his hand to pull him after you.

You started mumbling a response to his earlier question, “I did say that, and I was going too..but Seulgi said she’d buy me food for the year if I stayed..” Your face scrunches up as you turn to smile at him, “and well you know me.”

A fit of laughter erupted from his chest as he pulled you back and placed your hood over your head. He then turned you around grabbed your bag and gently pushed you forward, “Why am I not surprised” He muttered as he walked behind your small skipping figure, watching you step and splash in puddles.

Rain was a happy thing for you, because it reminded you of the man with jade green eyes. You and him used to play outside in the backyard on rainy days, and even though you got sick the next morning you never regretted it. Sicheng being someone who grew up with you knows this, so he let you be. Sicheng was always like an older brother to you, He held your hand when you were scared, he helped you when you struggled to do things on your own, and he always peeled your oranges because you just never could. He was legitimately the brother you never had. You and Sicheng met when you guys were little, he was your next door neighbor and since then you’ve always been together. Him and his family weren’t the closest or the best and because of that he adored you more since you never pushed him or blamed him for shit. Life can be a cruel ass, especially to those who have already “fucked up”.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“Aye, Xeno want to come with me to the repair shop with me?” Turning around you saw Sicheng fixing the bags on his shoulders. 

“Sure! Is Seulgi there?” You tilted your head watching him start walking in another direction, you began to skip behind him.

“Yeah actually, They’re all most likely there since it’s friday the shop is closed. Meaning they’re taking this time to modify their own cars.”

“Are you going to make me help you?” 

“No, Last time I did that you almost broke Yeol’s window”

Your face turned bright red at the horrible memory, In fact what Sicheng said is true you sort forgot to focus on what you were doing because of Toben, Chanyeol’s dog. He was running around and nudging your legs for attention, you shuddered at the memory of Chanyeol threatening to make you into Toben’s chew toy if it were to have happened, “Yeah uh, Maybe that is a better idea.” 

Sicheng emitted a small chuckle, “Well no shit, Sherlock”

You walked beside him under his black umbrella, looking up you saw a glowing galaxy drawn all over the place. You drew those for him because you were criticizing him for being “basic” and in the end he challenged you by telling you that you couldn’t do better, which resulted in a glow in the dark galaxy right over his head on rainy days.

You pulled your hood lower on your head turning to look at the steps you take, “How’s Taeyong?” 

“I actually haven’t seen him in a while. He’s probably selling drugs again.” Sicheng released a sigh as he looked down at his feet too. 

You knew these boys belonged to the world of “bad”, the world where there’s illegal races, drugs, violence, sex, murder, so on so forth. It didn’t bother you, You knew these boys since you were young and even if you knew your life was in some sort of danger for knowing them.. You didn’t really care. You yourself smoked, but never drank or did any xanax, heroin or any sort of drugs. You also never went to one of their illegal races. They never forced you to come but they did ask if you wanted to tag along to which you usually always refused.

“Do you think he’s taking them again..?”

“I hope not, even if he was I doubt it make any difference” 

“What's that supposed to mean ?!” You turned to smack his chest.

“Nothing! Nothing! aH! I'm being attacked by a dwarf!” Sicheng pushed your hands away and closed him umbrella and started running away from you. 

“Get back here you muffin top!” Running after him in the rain while your boots splashed in every puddle your small foot landed in. With a bright smile on your face you declared a race, and of course the loser buys lunch.  

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · · 

“Hey Win! Can you pass me the T9 on the front counter”

Confused by the new voice you frown up at Sicheng.

“Who’s that?” You reach out and grab the umbrella from his hands.

“Kai, He’s been a racer of Suho’s for a long time but Chanyeol just brought him here in the garage a couple weeks ago” He turns around taking off his jacket and tossing it on one of the chairs nearby. “He’s pretty chill guy you might like him, but there’s this other guy that I know you’ll be happy to see.” 

Right as he finished his sentence a white cloud ran alongside Toben, barking and jumping at your feet. 

“Viví~” you cooed at the white puffy dog. Crouching to their level you patted their heads and rubbed their bellies. You picked up Viví and cradled him in your arms. 

Standing up you walked behind Sicheng as he made his way over to this Kai person and girl when you saw this man it’s like you saw a literal god. With his honey skin, his well defined face and body, he looked like an actually god, but your mind only thought of one thing..

“Woah, Its Fancy Squidward from Spongebob!” You heard Sicheng snort and look over to see Chanyeol dying of laughter right besides his yellow Mustang GT350.

Your eyes widen in realization, “Oh! I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?!” You buried your face into the dog in your hands as you walked back to hide behind Sicheng. 

That’s when you heard laughter coming from “Fancy Squidward” himself. Peeking over Sichengs shoulder you saw the boy reach over to grab the screwdriver from Sicheng’s hand. 

“That was a very lovely first encounter” He looked up to meet your gaze. “Hi” He smiled at you, “Im Kai, or Jongin”

“Y/N,” Sicheng moved out of the way to start working on his car, “Sorry about that I didn’t mean to say that loud” You bent down to let the Viví play with Toben. 

“You’re all good” He giggles, “Oh! That’s right uh that’s Sehun” He pointed to a black Aston Martin Vanquish right behind him. Tilting your head you noticed another tall guy standing besides the car. Instantly you recognized his face and ran towards him.

“Sehun!” You jumped up to hug him and he quickly responded by wrapping his arms around your waist as he laughed into your shoulder.

“You haven’t changed a bit.” He placed you down and pinched your cheek, “Still short as ever”

“Hey! You know what go back from where you came from because I am not liking your attitude” You slapped his hand away and crossed your arms.

“You guys already know each other?” You turn around to look at Kai and nod.

“Yeah me, Sehun and Joy met in high school” You turn to look at Sehun, “He’s just older” You stick your tongue out.

“You know he’s the same age as me right?” Sehun pats your head, “tear tear” He starts teasing you by making his fingers in the shape of T’s and imitating your pout.

“Im taking Viví!” You watched as he walks towards the car he was working on.

“I hope we become good friends” With that Kai patted your head and strolled after Sehun.

Grumbling to yourself you walked towards Chanyeol who was sitting on the floor fixing his cars tire and draped your body over his back releasing a sigh. You look at what he was doing and saw his hands skillfully move all over the place, Sometimes he grabbed his notepad and pen and wrote a few notes down. It’s like if he was so engulfed at his task in hand, he blocked out what was going on around him.

“Is anyone using the upstairs room?” You poked his cheek and waited for a response while skimming through all the tools he was surrounded in.

“No, I think it’s empty,” He placed one of the tools on his leg and started fixing a few things with his hands, “Let me guess you’re tired already?” You felt his back vibrate with the sound of his laughter.

“Yeah” You hopped off his back and made your way towards Seulgi, “Hi sexy!”

“Hey Xeno, brought  me anything today?” She stood up from where she was inspecting her motorbike and turned to at you. You noticed the faded bruises decorating her face. There was a small cut on the corner of her lips and a small stitch on her forehead.

“Hey what happened to you?” You walked up to her and grabbed her face.

“Just a little rough play” She looks down at you with her a slight sad expression and when you looked at her eyes it’s like if there was some sort of unspoken words, and she just wanted to spill but instead she lightly slapped your hands away, “Go rest”

With that she turned around and started working on her bike again. Seulgi never really acted that way, She was honest and blunt with her words and always spoke up about what she wanted, You were concerned about Seulgi’s behavior but you didn’t want to push it, if she’s not in the mood, sometimes it’s best to give her time, you kind of learned that the hard way. Slowly walking towards the stairs to head up stairs you saw that Sicheng wasn’t to far from there so you strolled over to him.

“Hey Winnie, I’m going upstair.. Im kind of tired” You placed your head on Sicheng’s shoulder and scanned over the motor he was trying to work with.

“Okay, Rest well. Call me if you need anything” He looked over at you as you pulled away from where standing and made your way up the stairs with Viví and Toben trailing behind you.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The sound of a roaring engine and an argument was heard making it way towards the garage. Chanyeol immediately stood up grabbed his gun and walked towards the big doors. Everyone also felt kind of iffy about the atmosphere and got ready to attack.

“It’s just Irene and Taeyong at it again,” Sehun yelled out towards them, being the closest one to the big doors  he was able to peek outside and see who was causing the commotion. “and I think B’s car”

Him and Chanyeol walked over to the big doors and pushed them open allowing a red Lexus CL500 roll into the garage, with an arguing pair following behind. Behind those two were 5 others trying to split them apart before they’d scratch at each other’s throats.

“It’s the same bullshit with you!” Irene glared at Taeyong from where she was walking.

“Well what else was I supposed to do! What could I have possibly done when there was literally 5 guns pointed at me!” Taeyong gripped at his hair looking at Irene as she walked around the red car mimicking him.

“Hey I’m talking to you!” Taeyong walked up to Irene and pulled on her wrist and lord have mercy on him because that was the worst decision he could’ve possibly made.

That was enough to piss Irene off, she grabbed his arm and twisted it to turn him around and she pushed him against the closest wall, “Don’t you ever lay your fucking hands on me” She slammed him into the wall again and before it could’ve gotten worst Seulgi ran up to her and pulled her away.

“You ruined it all! You put her in danger again! We have been keeping her safe for more than half of her life and this is where you get us!” Irene trashes in the arms of Seulgi and soon Sehun and Joy are running up to her in an attempt to help keep her in place.

“I’m not mad about the fucking time we spent! I’m mad that you can’t be her fucking friend and think about where your decision brought her!” She managed to rip away from their grips and ran towards Taeyong punching him right on the side of his face.

“Irene that’s enough!” Everyone started shouting and trying to pull each other away from each other. They weren’t aware you woke up and started  watching from the top of the stairs.

Everyone except one.

Your eyes met another pair. His eyes were in a slight glare but droopy enough to not crease his forehead. His lips seemed to be a natural pout, and the strands of white hair slightly falling over his eyebrows.

He looked ethereal despite you knowing he wasn’t anywhere near pure.

You broke out of your trance and glanced towards Irene as she kept trying to attack Taeyong. You didn’t understand the reason behind the violence, using your words can be strong enough to bring a point however whenever someone deeply upset violence seems to be the easiest way out.

You made your way down the stairs drawing a bee line in your head to where Taeyong stood. Without realizing it, the white haired boy had his attention on you since you met his gaze.

But just as your foot touched the floor a gunshot erupted from a gun and echoed through the garage.

With wide eyes you saw Taeyong falling to the floor, as his body touched the ground a small pool of blood started forming around his side.

“Fuck! B, get her out!” The sound of gunshots erupting from different guns, the sound of shattering and yelling soon become white noise as your mind goes blank and the bad memories come rolling to your head like a bullet train.

After all these years you seem to never forget those jade green eyes fluttering close.

“Honey, I’m here. Always.”

You felt a soft hand slightly tug you down behind the red car and as you looked up you saw the boy with white hair.

“I’m here, so don’t panic. I need you to listen to me so I can help you.” His dark eyes look right into yours as he pulls your hood over your head. Tugging on your arm closer to the cars door.

He takes out ,what you assume, is his gun from his pocket and in one quick motion he opens the door and slightly pushes you inside. As he does this he tosses something towards the garage doors.

And just as it touches the floor a cloud of smoke appears from the small item and everyone scatters to their own cars.

Before crawling to the other seat you managed to see Taeyong being picked up from the ground. You released a sigh of relief as you saw that the one picking him up was Sicheng.

You made your way to the other seat as the white haired boy closed the door behind him and turned on the engine.

The sound of the engine was followed along with a few more, you peeked out the window to see 3 vehicles. Chanyeol’s yellow Mustang GT350, Sicheng’s white Toyota 86, and Seulgi’s purple Suzuki GSX250R.

You felt the boy leaned over your body, so you turn to come face to face with him, his eyes met yours as he felt your lips slightly brush over his cheek. 

Immediately after meeting your gaze he pulled the seat belt quickly buckling you in and speeding out the garage. 

“Here.” You look over at him, seeing he’s looking up ahead, your gaze slowly trailed down to his hand extended out towards you. Grabbing the earphones from his hand you plug them into your phone to tune out the sounds around you. 

And from the corner of your eye you see him smirk while taking out his gun.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You feel a light tap on your shoulder waking you up from your sleep. Sluggishly you pulled out the buds and slightly turned your head to look at the person who just woke you up. 

You see the boy slightly turn his head towards you, but the darkness outside catches your attention. And like you weren’t just asleep about a while ago you quickly looked outside the windows to be met with twinkling stars and empty fields.

“You aren’t kidnapping me right..” You slightly turn to look at the boy besides you who is seemingly entertained by your comment, “..Please don’t kidnap me.. I have yet to try cheesecake and- and I- I still haven’t tried the new coffee at the gasoline station across the street from my home so please don’t kidn-” 

The boy besides you suddenly chuckles and the sound erupts some sort of feeling inside your stomach because of raspy and deep it sounded in your ears.

“I’m not kidnapping you, besides Win is right behind us.” Your gaze fall to the side mirror and you notice the white car behind you instantly recognizing the cars plates.  

“O-Oh sorry.. my names Xe-“

“Aiko. I know it’s Aiko.” Your eyes widen as you hear your given name.

You didn’t hate it. It just always scared you cause it seemed to always bring you wrong attention. You were afraid that what happened to the man with jade green eyes.. would happen again. You were afraid of losing someone again because of that given name.

Yoon Aiko.

The name Aiko meant “Love Child” in other words “child who will be loved” but it’s meaning felt foreign to you. So you changed it to Yoon Xeno, Xeno meaning “foreign” or “strange”.

“How do you know my name..?”

“You’re the daughter of..” He turns to look at your eyes and seeing how they looked confused his brows furrowed in confusion as well, “Do you know who you are?”

“Yeah I’m Yoon Aiko..Why?”

“No. Do you know who you are? Your background? Your family? The place you were born in?.. Do you know Sir Lyeth?”

Lowering your gaze to you hands on your lap, your mind repeating the last question.. Do you know Sir Lyeth…?

“No, I don’t know any of these things. But if you do.. You have to tell me.” You look up at him with determination.

Of course you know Sir Lyeth, He was a friend of the jade green eyes man, and when he passed Sir Lyeth was your caretaker. But one day he suddenly disappeared and you were forced to move elsewhere, leaving you to where you are now.

“I can’t do that, It’s not my place. It would be better if you heard it from Win or Taeyong maybe even Irene or Suho but not me.” 

“Why not you?” You see him change the gears while steering with his other hand. 

“Because I’m Byun Baekhyun and I’m the last person you’d want to hear this from”

“I’d rather hear it from you, It hurts less if it’s the actual truth.” Stars twinkle outside and all around making it feel as though it’s falling right onto you.The car’s engine can be heard running and the gears being changed can be felt and heard from inside the car. 

“There’s no going back now princess.” He turns to look at you with a slight frown.

“When you were born, everyone working for your parents feared for your life. You we’re your parents first and an only child, You were a miracle because your mom wasn’t capable of giving birth to you on her own but you made it. To everyone's surprise you were a girl, they wanted to keep you but they knew your life was endangered. Since well,” You heard him take a deep before he turned to look at you, “You’re the child of one of the biggest and strongest mafia groups out there” 

And just with, that your world had stopped. Suddenly the sound of the engine and the sound of the running tires behind turned into silence. You could almost feel your own pulse and the blood slowly running through your veins. 

You.. are the daughter of a mafia.

。・゜    ♡ ・ 。       。・゜     ♡ ・ 。       。・゜ ♡   。・゜   ♡ ・ 。

next »

。・゜    ♡ ・ 。       。・゜     ♡ ・ 。       。・゜ ♡   。・゜   ♡ ・ 。

✎ᝰ┆I was so nervous to post this, I will be going through and fix some errors ( ・∇・) It’s kind of sloppy forgive me, I was really nervous :’) But any who I hoped you enjoyed!💘

ᵖᵒˢᵗᵉᵈ ¹⁰/²¹/¹⁹

[brokendave]

14: dont u mind.

14. A kiss so desperate that the two wind around each other, refusing to let go until they are finished.

a/n: hopefully by don’t you mind you meant amelia and shawn :) if you haven’t read my fic “don’t you mind” this should still make sense!

———

amelia stood at the doorstep of his house, a gentle knock letting him know she was there. it was the last thing shawn was expecting when he opened the door but it was exactly what he needed.

“what are you doing here?” he asked, looking around her for her car or maybe ben and then he looked at her.

she shuffled on her feet, feeling uncomfortable being at his house again but it was like she was drawn there. to him. she knew the distance wasn’t going to last for very long. no matter what the reason being.

“i just, i uh, just wanted to see you, i guess,” she stuttered. a smirk played on shawn’s lips. it wasn’t a cocky smirk. not a, i knew you couldn’t stay away from me, smirk. it was an amused smirk. one that said; where did you come from?

“come in,” he offered, opening the door further for her and she took it. the house was quiet, still, lonely since his grandma died but it still smelled the same and he still brought her to his room like he would if she was still alive.

his room looked the same, too. mattress on the floor, black curtains making the room dark besides for the little light that came from the lamp on his desk. an ashtray on the floor. the remains of joints he had smoked littered on the floor. “couldn’t even clean for me?” she joked.

“since when did you care about how messy my room was? last time i checked, you liked that there were clothes all over the place. easier for you to grab something to put on after we, ya know,” shawn rambled. it brought a warmth to her skin and she looked down at the ground to avoid the eye contact that he was trying to make. “wanna have a seat?”

“i shouldn’t,” she said.

“then what are you doing here?” he asked her. she looked at him, finally. his lips were slightly parted and wet.

“do you think i came here to have sex with you?”

“no, no. i didn’t,” he stammered causing her to laugh at him. “what?”

“i’m kidding,” she waved him off and sat on his bed where she always sat. the spot felt familiar and she had flashbacks of all the times he laid her down on it, kissed her stomach and thighs and neck on it. “i wanted to talk to you,” she told him, rubbing her hands on her legs.

“yeah. i was hoping i could talk to you, too,” he admitted. he sat down right next to her, legs barely touching. “i didn’t want to push you, though. i wanted to give you enough time.”

“i appreciate that,” she said. when she looked at him, really, really looked at him, she saw undereye bags that screamed that he hadn’t gotten any sleep and although his lips were wet, they were chapped. his hair was messy and disheveled and he ran his fingers through the curls. “listen i-“ they started talking at the same time but shawn gestured for her to continue and she did. “i just wanted to say that i’m sorry about your grandma and i’m sorry i haven’t been there for you and i’m sorry that i left you,” you said.

“you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for?” shawn said, appalled that she ever thought she had to apologize to him. “i love you, mila. and this whole thing is fucking shit and you’re doing the best you can do. i should be the one to apologize,” shawn said. he leaned forward a little, his face getting closer to hers. “you are the best thing to ever happen to me,” he whispered.

“shawn,” she whispered back to him, shaking her head and licking her lips. she wanted him and she couldn’t deny that. from the moment he opened the door, her insides were on fire from his scent alone. the passion that they always had with each other was too much to deny and the way his breath hit her lips made it even hard to ignore.

shawn’s hand went to her thigh, touching just the outside. his nose brushed hers. her breathing caught and her hand went to his curls. that act, the act of her fingers in his hair, put shawn over the edge and his lips smashed against hers with all the desire and lust that had been building up. the desire and lust that amelia had been trying to ignore since she walked out of that hospital room.

his hand went from her thigh to her waist and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her as close to him as he could. her arms wrapped around his neck as she kissed him harder. they couldn’t get close enough to each other. they couldn’t get enough of each other.

shawn ran his hands up her shirt, the skin to skin contact making him moan in her mouth. she smiled against his lips and his finger tips pressed into her back. he pulled her on his lap, bringing her closer and his lips went from her lips to her cheek and then her neck.

“shawn,” she moaned softly. his lips left her neck and he smoothed her hair out of her face, looking at her lovingly. inspecting her eyes and her lips and all the freckles that were on her face. all the details he loved. “i love you,” she whispered. shawn smiled, his thumb tracing her lower lip. “so much.”

[bang-me-bangtan-style]

the temptation-2 : Kim Taehyung

1 | 2 | 

paring: jeon jungkook x kim taehyung x reader

genre: smut, innocence,celibacy, corruption,seducing, going against morals,

summary: Church. School. Work. Home. Home.work. school home. It was a hell of routine. But it was old. It was getting way too old. This pure innocent life was just a facade nowadays. Your mind had fell into the fifth circle of hell. And your boyfriend jungkook realized this. Especially after you cheated on him with the person he hated the most. Taehyung. And now according to him you would burn in hell for it. How long could you keep your legs closed after reviving oral sex from taehyung? Could you keep the rest of your innocence or did you really want to burn in hell like jungkook said you would? Book 1/7 in the bts series

notes: this series is about sexual desires and religion don’t read if your not into that or are against. you’ve been warned.

unedited but enjoy

Although you were at work your phone had been ringing all day. You knew who it was already and you wish he'd just stop and give you a break. You didn't want to deal with anything else. Yesterday Jungkook broke up with you and you would like the pain to subside before dealing with Lucifer. Plus everyone was sent the video of you and Taehyung and you were to face that soon when you went back to school after Christmas break. you just hope your parents didn't receive it or you'll be dead.

"Can i take your-" your phone rang in your back pocket startling you- "order." you finished. Your customer looked at you weird and you inhaled and exhaled. It was safe to say that it was time to turn it off as soon as things died down in the cafe.

"Yeah i'll have black coffee on ice," the guy that was balding from old age said.

You rang him up and your co-worker started on his order. The next person in line came up and your eyes widen when you were met with Lucifer himself. what the fuck was he doing here? you began to internally panic but on the outside you look cool, calm, and collect.

He leaned in on the counter, "you're not answering none of my calls what was I supposed to do?" your eyes fixated on his lips and you stopped breathing- flash backs hitting you like PTSD.

"Why would you show up here?" You whispered yelled becoming angry. You felt embarrassed seeing him now that you were sober knowing the sinful things he had done to you. Plus you were at work and now was not the time to talk about anything related to what happened over the weekend.

"We need to talk,"was all he said looking seriously.

"I cant right now, i'm at work,"you growled.

"when do you get off?"

"never"

"y/n come on" he pleaded.

"In an hour."

"fine, i'll wait for you."

"no."

"yes."

"no."

"yes."

"fine! hurry up and order or leave your holding up the line."

he leaned back up and turned off to sit down somewhere the person behind him giving him a dirty look as he was holding up the line.

one hour later...

You had clocked out and counted you drawer helping the next person get settled in for their shift. and when you were done you went to where Taehyung resided and stood, you looked around. "I don't think it's safe to talk here."

he realized this and he stood up and followed your form.

The cold hit you as soon as you stepped out of the cafe and instantly you wanted to go back in. You were annoyed that you left your coat at home of all days. Taehyung noticed this and quickly took his trench coat off and wrapped it around you. He walked you to his car and he had the courtesy to open the door for you before getting in himself. You sat in silence as he walked around the front of the car to get to the drivers side, thousands of things running threw your head as you waited.

He got in the car shutting the door with a thump and turned it on so he could warm it up. he blew on his hands rubbing them together a he tried to warm them up. However you were warm in his coat the smell of him filling your senses of his Gucci cologne.

You looked down as you waited for him to start the conversation. Once satisfied with the temperature in the car he turned to you.

"Are you okay?" was the first thing that came out his mouth Because he didn't know what to say he didn't want to make you mad in any way. He liked you too much.

"Yeah," was all you replied looking anywhere but him.

He stared at you watching you and your body language he could tell that you were uncomfortable with the current situation and he felt like he was to blame.

"I'm sorry-"he began.

"It's not your fault I wanted you to- you have nothing to be sorry about."

This time he looked down. "I don't want you to be mad at me and I promise I'll find who ever sent that video to everyone."

"Don't worry about it the damage has been done."

"Does he know?"

"Of course he knows.."

"What he-"

"He broke up with me of course. And he said you and I will go to hell." You forced a smile but it didn't reach your ears. It was obviously forced and it broke his heart. "Is this all you wanted to talk about 'cause i'm kind of tired and i'm going to miss the bus-"

"I'll take you home if you miss it." He held onto your contact, his eyes twinkling. God he was so handsome and so dangerous and it scared you even more now because you didn't know if you could control yourself around him. You fell into his arms like silly putty before, it could happen again.

You breathed in again. God he smelled so good. He probably tasted delicious. literally. You shook the sins out your mind.

"Fine," was all you said as you tried not to concentrate on sucking him off in the back seat of his car right now.

"I just hope your parents don't find out they already hate me enough."

"you and me both." you Smirked slightly.

what was this? could you two be something if you got over jungkook? he was a nice boy. but he was bad. you didn't know if you could take him. you weren't used to being touched. and he was so touchy. he put his hand on your forearm and touched the skin there as in to comfort you but why did your mind always make everything so sexual. it felt so sensual. and you pulsed between your legs. you just wanted him to touch you more, you liked the feeling of male touching you. it sent you into a craze.

"id say id take it back but then id be lying." your pu$$y reacted to his words. the same words that came out that same mouth that made you cum. mmm. talk about temptation. he was so tempting.

"can't live life with regrets we all do things for a reason what's the point in taking them back?" it wasn't exactly the response he wanted from you but it Was good enough.

just then the bus came and gone and you watched it go.

"alright it looks like im going to take you home," he whispered in the silence of his car.

you looked outside of the window the snowfall on the ground that had melted some had remained. the streets were cleared and the snow was casted to the side of the road.

moments went by...

"im hurt that he broke up with me but everything happens for a reason. i keep telling my self this. maybe if one day he could forgive me id feel better but until then i feel like shit."

he hated hearing about jungkook but it wasn't about him. it wasn't his place to be mad you weren't his. even if he did steal you away.

"i guess you're right everything does happen for a reason." was all he could say with out sounding possessive over you. " i will say that im going to get a lot of shit from him. he might start shit with me,"

"he won't." You assured him.

'cause if he does he'll look like the weak one- and one thing jeon jungkook hates is being week. he's going to act like it doesn't bother him when we get back to school. that's the type of guy he is."

taehyung didn't say anything he just nodded his head.

"what about yo-"

don't worry about me too much. ill get a lot of hate and what not but its okay. ill manage."

taehyung hated this he hated that this happens, he didn't care about himself but he didn't want you to have a hard time.

"if it feels any better, what you did for me was the best thing you could have done it felt so good. if it wernt for you i would have imploded by now. he would have never done that for me. he wouldn't even-" you stopped yourself before you admitted things he shouldn't know.

"he wouldn't what?"

"nothing," you shook your head looking back at the snow.

"its okay tell me."

you hesitated, but why not? its not like he was with you anymore.

"he wouldn't even kiss me."

taehyung was really taken aback."seriously why?"

"because it will lead to sex."

"not always. you could stop when it got to that point."

" that's what I tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen."

taehyung was mind boggled, "so the whole time you were together he has never kissed you?"

you pressed your lips together and shook your head.

"wowwwww, he sighed throwing his head back against the head of the seat.

"so was i your fist kiss?"

"you were my first everything so far." you blushed even though he could tell inside the dark car.

he smiled looking down. " i kind of like the Sound of that."

you blused even more. it was too much to handle. your heart was beating fast again his sent engulfed you smothering you like you were in his arms which if you were in his arms you wouldn't complain. not one bit.

"i am sorry that i dragged you into this mess." You admitted.

"its okay, trust me im not complaining."

you looked at his side profile he was so alluring. fresh new. it exlierated you. you wanted to touch him all over, fuck him in his car, make out with him in bed, but that would be too much.but you kind of didn't care. but you would keep your dirty thoughts to yourself. you were already in hot shit. you fucked everything up with jungkook you didn't want to fuck up more.

but being around taehyung made you want to do things it always did,and when you finally did it when you got drunk, you knew that this was your true self there no reason to hide who you were. you were a sexual human and it was human to feel like that. you shouldn't have to hide who you were. it was natural. you shouldn't have to feel ashamed of yourself. jungkook made you feel ashamed of your self. and that's where the depression resided from.

it was only a matter of time until you exploded. oh wait....

"well should i take you home?" he said looking at you.

"yes..." i want you to stay though.

"okay let's go," he started the car and began to drive off.

you wish you could say your thoughts aloud.

[earwaxinggibbous]

Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2018

As I geared up to make the list of hits for 2018, I was prepared for difficulty, and I wasn’t wrong. Hence why there are a few little cheats here and there. Really anything that even had the potential to be a hit got on this list because the Hot 100 was fucking barren and I figure I’d rather give some exposure to some good artists that didn’t get what they deserved.

I do discuss alcohol/drug use briefly in my number 9 + 6 and abuse in my number 4. Let’s get this shit on the road.

10. Mine - Bazzi

This song is dumb. And I love it.

Mine by Bazzi, who no doubt will not show up on the charts next year, is a song that all of you know even if you think you don’t, because it’s the one with the memes.

You so! Fuckin! Precious! When you! Smiiiiile!

Yeah, it’s that one.

There’s not much to say about this one. It’s a quick and easy listen at only a little over 2 minutes. Bazzi has a nice enough voice, and the production manages to stand on its own. Honestly the reason it’s here is because the lyrics are adorable.

It feels very teenage, but not in the obnoxious way that Lucid Dreams is. It’s just very innocent despite the second line being about hitting it from the back. It’s a kind of innocence I can enjoy mostly unironically.

Like, whatever man. Just enjoy life.

9. Betrayed - Lil Xan

So I wasn’t actually sure when this song charted. I believe it was either late 2017 or early 2018, possibly with some crossover, but I’m counting it because I love this song so much.

Betrayed actually shares a lot of similarities with Juice WRLD’s Lucid Dreams. They were both towards the bottom on each respective list, they both have videos made by Cole Bennet, and they both have a sneaky anti-drug message.

Ironic considering his name is Lil Xan. Also I lied it’s not very sneaky at all. Which is good, if you’re gonna be anti-drug then just fucking do it. The beat is chill, the bars are chill, it’s all super chill. That’s probably in part due to the fact that Lil Xan has a super calming voice. This is weed music. Like Car Seat Headrest. And good weed music can be enjoyed when you’re sober, which Betrayed can be because it just sounds nice.

A good chunk of Betrayed is about the pitfalls of the rap game, and how suddenly everyone turns on you and wants your money, which is kind of neurotic but not entirely inaccurate.

This was actually the plot of a Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake song called Holy Grail from a few years back. And I hate to say it but this song does it way better, because it’s not trying to make fame out to be some horrible demon priestess who’s sucking your soul out of your ass, but rather, more of a lifestyle with very different complications.

Which is what it is.

So Jay-Z got outdone by a 12-year-old with face tats named Lil Xan, and if I heard about that my ego would be deeply, deeply bruised.

The only reason it isn’t higher is because, uh.

Oof, Lil Xan. Come on now.

8. King’s Dead - Jay Rock ft. Kendrick Lamar, Future and James Blake

So a lot of people actually didn’t like this song. Which... I kind of get.

Also apparently this was on the Black Panther soundtrack. I never saw that movie, but a lot of the lyrics on this, at least according to lyric genius, relate to that movie. Which I guess is why I have no clue what it’s about other than the average rap music cliches. The only thing I knew about King’s Dead for god knows how long was this gif of Kendrick eating corn in a palm tree.

I feel like the best argument against this song (other than Future’s high-pitched sampling of Slob On My Knob that made me lose my shit) is that there’s nothing really special about it. I mean yeah, Kendrick has a voice that’s smooth like butter, but King’s Dead has a generic beat and bars that just don’t stand out.

But I don’t know. I just love it.

This is just a nice fun song to chill out to. I can put it on, throw myself into bed, and let the cares of the day shloff off of my body as Kendrick whispers to me in the language of the ancient ones. This is nowhere near his best work, not even remotely close to it. All it is is nice and small and easy to listen to without being completely boring.

Maybe I also just like it because it’s been forever since a rap song really sounded like one. This is partially the fault of Future, who is on this song, and doing the same shit he usually does, but at least the rest of the song sounds like words. It feels like it’s been a whole decade since rap music wasn’t just an autotuned jumble, and while I’m easier on mumble-rap than most, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss good old fashioned regular rap.

Regardless of whether it’s blind nostalgia or some level of actual quality, I enjoy King’s Dead for what it is. It may just be a rock and not a diamond, but it’s my rock and I love it.

7. In My Blood - Shawn Mendes

So like, what the fuck happened with Shawn Mendes? He just kind of got really good all of a sudden. Like when every genre, every artist, every newcomer and every single is shitting the bed, it’s Shawn Mendes of all people to bring it home. That’s like if Charlie Puth turned out to be the savior of music. It’s like if Chingy developed into a rap legend. And this song, In My Blood, is about something we all wanna do! Giving up.

Okay, so that’s not exactly what it’s about. It’s about the feeling of wanting to give up, but refusing to, in a very chronological way. With the verses representing the low points and the chorus representing the swell of energy that forces one to get back on their feet. It’s an incredibly well put-together song where Shawn’s voice is actually put to good use instead of him gargling pus like he did on Treat You Better. I’d be lying if I said he didn’t emote wonderfully on this.

I haven’t heard any of the other singles he’s released around this song, but I’m definitely interested in doing so because In My Blood is an experience, kind of in the same way that like, a really good Panic! at the Disco song is. It just punches you repeatedly. You ever been punched by a song? It feels great. I wish more songs would punch me.

In a lot of ways In My Blood is also nostalgic for me, since it brings me back to an era where I actually got excited about pop music because it was important to me some-fucking-how. And I don’t mean like, I was interested in pop like I am right now. When I was littler my parents basically raised me on old alternative music and jazz, and while I definitely enjoyed it I had literally no idea what other kids at school listened to. The first pop song I remember hearing was Pokerface by Lady GaGa, I was on the school bus, and it sounded like nothing I’d ever heard before. Over time my sister began playing the radio so that her friends at her new school would stop goofing on her for not knowing any pop artists, and hearing all this new music was kind of an experience. Of course after awhile we both moved into individualized tastes and neither of us really listen to the radio unless it’s during the holidays, but hearing In My Blood somehow reminds me of a time when being a hit actually meant something.

It’s a song where you put it on and it just owns the room despite its minimalism, and with tons of easy listening alt-crap hitting the stations nowadays, it’s nice, albeit surreal, to know that Shawn Mendes is the one who gives a shit.

6. Genius - LSD

In case you didn’t know, LSD is the combined efforts of rapper Labrinth, singer Sia and producer Diplo. I hadn’t actually heard of this group until pretty recently, and I wish I had because if you know me, you know about my wretched obsession with Sia. Maybe I’m too forgiving, but I can’t remember a single bad track she’s put out. And Genius is no exception.

Lyrically this song’s a bit lacking, despite the title. But soundwise it sticks like gum, with a layered production. I always say that they should have Sia work with one of these sing-rappers, so having it finally happen is proof that god might be listening to me.

It’s like bubblegum for your brain, it’s sweet, it tastes good, it’s fun and it sticks. Even after only one listen I couldn’t get the tune out of my head. And god knows I just want the charts to be fun for once. No, I don’t think this song charted, which is an absolute shame. LSD should absolutely have the star power to hit the top 100, but I guess this just wasn’t a good year for them.

Regardless, I have heard that LSD plans to do a full project, and after listening to the rest of their short album I am more than excited. The only reason this isn’t higher up is that, judging by the group name I was expecting it to be way more of an acid trip soundwise. It’s definitely hard to compare LSD’s Genius to any other type of pop in recent years, but I feel like that’s moreso because Diplo and company have taken all sorts of elements from all sorts of pop music and sneakily fused them together.

Regardless, Genius is a highly enjoyable listen. Sia’s at top performance as per usual, Labrinth sounds really nice beside her and Diplo’s production is solid. Also I seriously recommend the music video. It’s super weird. I wish animated music videos were more common with pop, to be honest.

5. Better Now - Post Malone

I almost feel like I’ve sinned putting a Post Malone song above a Kendrick Lamar song, but god do I love Better Now.

The Post Malone conversation is still very much underway, with a lot of people saying they hated Psycho because it was boring (which I can get even though I don’t agree) and that they hated Jackie Chan because it was just really really stupid. But, much like Candy Paint, I have yet to hear anyone say they dislike Better Now. And I do honestly believe that he hit it out of the park on this one.

This one’s sort of the reverse of Genius. It has pretty basic trap production, but really nice lyrics. Possibly building on the story from I Fall Apart, though with a slightly more mature outlook, Post talks about an ex-girlfriend who he misses, trying to drown his feelings in alcohol, drugs and expensive stuff in the wake of the relationship.

A total bummer, but Post sells it pretty well.

Like damn. That’s a detail right there.

I mean, I could argue that nobody has a specific drawer for socks they don’t like, but who cares really.

Anyway, unlike I Fall Apart, which was a turn-off for a lot of people because it felt spiteful and juvenile, Better Now doesn’t really place the blame on Post or his ex, which is a much more realistic scenario. Because really, his ex isn’t at fault for no longer being in love with him, but Post isn’t at fault for pining. He’s only human. Judging by the lyrics, the story is that Post was dumped for being a druggie in this song.

Though Lyric Genius also argues this is a reference to the death of Lil Peep, who was close personal friends with Post Malone in real life. If this song is somehow in a weird roundabout way an ode to Lil Peep, honestly it does feel like it’s a good send-up to him from another rapper. Like yeah, a love song might seem weird as a tribute to a dead friend, but it definitely does feel like a mournful, sad song about longing for a close person who’s gone for the long run.

Whether this is a tribute to Lil Peep or just a breakup song, it definitely carries the weight of the emotions, partly since Post just generally sounds sad all the time. And in a year full of pissy break-up songs, this is the one that hits home more than any other for me. If Post is going off of past experience, it shows, and if he isn’t he’s just a really good actor I guess.

4. Freaky Friday - Lil Dicky ft. Chris Brown

This song is the bane of my fucking existence.

Why do I laugh at this? Why do I laugh at jokes about Lil Dicky having a small penis still? Why am I losing my shit at the idea that a white guy in a black guy’s body would immediately wonder if he can say the n-word? Why am I, a grown man with presumably mature tastes, going ‘hee hee hoo hoo’ over the phrase “I’m DJ Khaled! Why am I yelling?” And why the fuck, in the year 2018, am I actively enjoying a Chris Brown song?

Lil Dicky I have a soft spot for. We’re both Jews, we’re both stupid, we both look dead inside in every photograph taken of us. We’re basically like long lost twin brothers. Plus I do think he’s a skilled rapper, with his greatest track easily being Professional Rapper featuring Snoop Dogg, and if it had been my choice, that song would’ve been his first big hit. But no, it had to be Freaky Friday. A song that, for all accounts and purposes, is about as funny as an early Your Favorite Martian song, and yet still makes me roll into a screaming fit laughing my ass off.

I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I’m over the Chris Brown drama just because there’s plenty of worse artists charting right now. Forgetting it would be an offense to everyone involved. Do I think he’s probably matured since? Maybe. But that doesn’t excuse or explain away what he did. But for me to pretend I don’t enjoy this song would be disingenuous, and it breaks my heart to actually enjoy a Chris Brown song. In 20-fucking-18.

Everyone hates this song. And they’re valid, honestly. I just like the chorus, maybe? I don’t know. It’s hardly Lil Dicky’s best work, but fuck me. Of course I had to be the one suffering with the curse of enjoying Lil Dicky’s Freaky Friday to the point that I put it above a ton of songs that are probably objectively better, all because I laugh at dick jokes and love a catchy chorus.

But I will give it credit, this is the first popular comedy song in a long time I’ve been able to get down to. Selfie and What Does The Fox Say made me wanna scoop my eyes out with a melon baller, but of course the fucking Chris Brown comedy song makes me shriek in body-wracking laughter as if I’ve never heard a joke before.

It’s been at LEAST a year since I felt this shitty for enjoying a song, but that’s life I guess. Just enjoying bad music by bad people for bad reasons.

3. High Hopes - Panic! at the Disco

How is it that we’re having a Panic! at the Disco hit in 2018? Whatever, I’m not mad.

I mean, come on. A swelling Brendon Urie anthem about finally being able to achieve your dreams and shit? That’s really all I need on a bad day, isn’t it. Thanks 2018.

I don’t even remember if this song has good production or not. It’s really loud. Everything is loud. Do you think I care if it sounds good? I mean, Brendon sounds good, but like. Biz Markie’s Just A Friend fills me with emotion and it sounds like it’s being sung by a donkey. My standards are not high. Maybe I’d need higher standards to not like this song.

Frankly, I don’t care if the production is bad. Because this song is just good mood music, and I like that it’s loud. I want Brendon to scream in my ear about having high hopes. Do you think I care how it sounds?

No but really. It’s a perfectly well-built song, Brendon performs well on it. Bless this shit though. If there’s anything that represents hope in my mind, it’s Brendon Urie skittering up the side of a building while singing about having high hopes and his mama and whatever whatever. In a year full of dour break-up songs and people dying and abusers getting famous, all you can really have is high hopes. And that’s all there is to it.

2. Neva Lavd Yah! - Dusty Ray Bottoms

Can we all agree RuPaul’s Drag Race is kind of a hack show at this point? I mean, Season 10 was a disaster and so far AS4 has been a disaster too. I’m not even sure why I still watch it at this point.

Anyway, this is kind of a cheat. Neva Lavd Yah! charted on Billboard LGBT, and actually charted pretty high. Not the actual Hot 100, but do you think I care anymore?

So we’re all mad that rock music is dead, and that the only remnants we have of it is Imagine Dragons and other similar garbage. But don’t fret (unless it’s on a guitar) because Dusty Ray Bottoms, queen of my heart, is here to solve that problem. Full electric guitar and drums. No autotune. Just pure Dusty Ray on the track here to kick ass.

I guess Neva Lavd Yah! is a generic “fuck the haters” anthem, but for once I actually believe it. Maybe it’s because it’s being sung by a 50-foot-tall gay man with dots all over his face. Maybe it’s just because, with every drag queen doing techno music, Dusty Ray has done something completely different. God knows I was sick of every drag queen doing overproduced electronica about nothing at all.

Neva Lavd Yah! isn’t polished or clean. It’s screaming and loud and full of passion. Sometimes you’re just a 50-foot gay who wants to yell, sometimes you’re a 5-foot gay who wants to yell. Maybe you don’t feel like yelling right now, but you’ve probably been in that mood before. Neva Lavd Yah! is for when you wanna chill in a garage with an electric guitar and write songs and then scream with your shitty garage band and it’s the 90′s and you’re gay.

Damn right.

And before we move forward,

let’s hit those honorable mentions.

I Like It - Cardi B ft. Bad Bunny and J Balvin

This song really did almost get on the list, and I mean it was like a baby dick’s length away. I almost feel bad that I let Mine on instead. Cardi I am so sorry.

Nice For What - Drake

This was the only good song Drake released this year, and while Drake talking about “strong women” on the same album as I’m Upset seems like bullshit, I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t at least kind of a banger.

Now or Never - Blair St. Clair

This was the only other big drag queen hit I remember this year. It was released in the wake of Blair St. Clair coming out about a sexual assault, and while I do think it’s an empowering song, I don’t like the way it sounds that much.

Pray For Me - The Weeknd ft. Kendrick Lamar

How I liked King’s Dead more than this I can’t even explain to you. The beat on Pray For Me rocks my tight ass though. Plus let’s be honest, The Weeknd and Kendrick are a fucking dream team.

I Love It - Kanye West ft. Lil Pump

I can’t hate this. Fucking look at it. They’re in roblox costumes!

Famous Prophets (Stars) - Car Seat Headrest

Not a hit, which is the only thing that kept it off of here. Consider Song of the Summer by Remo Drive, Humanity by Gorillaz and When You Die by MGMT also in this spot.

On to number one, and if you know me you probably know it already.

1. Kamikaze - Eminem

Listen. I don’t care if this didn’t chart. I don’t care if it didn’t get close. I don’t give two fifths of a fuck if Eminem isn’t as good as he used to be. I don’t give a single rat’s ass.

Because I fucking love Kamikaze.

(The song.)

The album was fine, I wasn’t huge on the whole “call out everyone” angle it took. Sure sometimes it landed, but other times, like with the Tyler the Creator diss, it was completely pointless and kind of petty.

But the title song? It bangs.

The lyrics are good, obviously, it’s an Eminem song and he hasn’t been struggling with lyrics since... Revival I guess. The production on Kamikaze is interesting, the chorus is catchy. I just love it. It puts me in a good mood for reasons I cannot explain using words of the English language.

Maybe I just love Eminem too much. But in a year of stolid depression like 2018, all I wanted was for my favorite rapper Eminem to say “fuck” and yell a lot and just be kind of motivational in his weird way. And he did it. And I understand if people don’t enjoy Kamikaze (the song or the album) but I just can’t not love it, it makes me so excited every time I hear that intro. I feel like a child almost.

I saw Eminem live for the first time this year at Governor’s Ball. It was an experience. My feet were killing me because to get good spots, my sister and I had to sit through Chvrches. (Didn’t like them very much.) It was loud and crowded. It started raining, I was cold as shit and tired and this enormous drunk guy in a wifebeater nearly elbowed my head clean off of my shoulders just due to a lack of spacial awareness. And I didn’t even give a shit until it was over.

The music ended, and I realized I was freezing my ass off. And that’s what good music does to a guy I guess. And being able to download a new, really good Eminem song was like capturing that moment in a bottle. A bottle of white boy spite, but a good bottle nonetheless.

Of course I’m biased. God knows if this song is actually better than something like In My Blood or Genius, but I love this song too much to put it any lower than number one.

Whenever I need motivation or I’m just really pissed, this song is here for me to listen to, so I can lose my shit by the side of a man who I’ve literally begun referring to as my dad at this point. And that’s just what I want. A song that I can feel next to. A song that can feel with me. And as good as some of these other songs are, I don’t feel with them like I do with Kamikaze.

See you next year, I guess.

[gendercraft]

Outlast: Revisited [Chapter Six: Waylon]

Read on ao3

Synopsis: I’m rewriting Outlast where the first game and Whistleblower are combined, Miles and Waylon are more connected, and also they kiss

Trigger warnings: Sexual assault plus everything already in the game; eye gore; the gore actually gets kinda intense here; let me know if i missed anything

    The furnace roared to life. Waylon scrambled backwards, as far away from the flame as possible, but it was futile. It caught his pants, chasing his leg.  

    “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He pressed his back against the brick wall. 

    Orange climbing up his pant sleeve, he thrashed his leg out, over and over again. The heat burned through. The pain wracked up his leg, rippling and angry. He screamed and knocked his head against the wall. 

    Something rattled. He gasped and turned around—the wall was crumbling. He could break that. He could. 

    Holding back a moan of pain, he turned onto all fours and rammed his shoulder into the wall. It jostled, but not by much. Again, again, come on, don’t let me fucking die here. The pain was climbing. If he didn’t get out of here soon, he wouldn’t even be able to walk. 

    He launched himself at the wall again, again, again, then finally—CRASH! He oofed as he smacked to the concrete, landing atop the loose bricks. 

    “No! NO! You were MINE!” 

    Gasping for breath, Waylon staggered to his feet. There was no telling how quickly the Cook could find his way to Waylon—he had to leave.

    He hobbled through a door and found himself in a makeshift chapel. A glowing red exit sign hung above a door. His heart stopped. He raced forward, ignoring the burning pain in his leg, and turned the handle—locked. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He pulled and yanked but nothing. 

            Looking around for any way of escape, he brought his burnt leg off the ground to relieve the pressure. His breathing was slowly steadying. 

    In the back of the chapel, he found a transcription from an employee of Mount Massive, Dr. Bruce Newhouse. 

     Father Clarke— 

        Far be it from me to lie to a man of God, so let me at least say that I will do my personal best to improve the safety of your working conditions...if you feel threatened by anybody in particular, simply let us know and we can either increase chemical restraints, or administer a lobotomy or similar calming procedure. 

     Waylon grimaced and flinched. 

     Not all of our poor unfortunates have families to call upon, and so the burden, (and calling,) is yours. We are all of us relying on your faith and hard work. 

     DBNR

    Dr. Newhouse, MD

    May 20th, 1961 

     Surely they weren’t still administering lobotomies. And ‘poor unfortunates…’ it was so distant, so condescending. These weren’t ‘poor unfortunates.’ They were people, people that Murkoff decided to torture. 

    Everywhere else was a dead end, and there was a creeping feeling in his gut that the Cook was getting closer, so Waylon headed back to the furnace. There was a ladder to the top of the ovens, which opened up to a huge chimney full of half-put-together scaffolding and skinny ledges. It went up pretty high. He doubted the Cook would follow him, if he even knew that’s where he went. 

    On the ladder, he dragged his useless leg behind him, relying on upper body strength to get himself to flop atop the ovens. His arms burned, laying like jelly next to him. A scream rained down. 

    Waylon leapt to his feet, gritting his teeth and holding back a hiss. THWAP! Waylon covered his face as the Variant smacked to the brick and cracked their head open. Hesitating, Waylon stared. Blood seeped through the cracks, viscous and crimson. 

    Glancing down at his leg, he sighed. Don’t fail me. 

    He scaled the chimney slowly and carefully. As he inched across a ledge, his vision blurred as Morphogenic rorschach images swam and splattered. He groaned… and his foot slipped. 

    Gasping, his entire body jolted to the ground—then he caught himself, planting his foot firmly on the ledge. 

    “Motherfucker,” he snapped under his breath. He grit his teeth. “Come on, come on… just fucking do it.” 

    He made it halfway up the chimney, where a vent opened into one of the upper floors. Crawling inside and hopping down, he brought up his night vision and looked around carefully. He explored the Administrative section of the hospital block, all dark and empty. 

    Across a boarded up door and through the glass, a group of people ran past. 

    “There!” One of them cried. “I told you it would be open. I told you.” 

    Were they… escaping? Waylon would pry those boards off with his bare hands. 

    “Keep moving, Graham, we’re almost out!” 

    Waylon picked up the pace, limping towards the door and grabbing hold of the board. He pulled, planting his bad leg against the wall, and yanked, yanked, pulled, pulled, pulled until his hands were raw and scraped. He dug at the screws until his nails cracked and his fingers bled. 

    Growling, he slammed his elbow into the glass, over and over until tears came to his eyes. It ached horribly, and the glass didn’t so much as crack. 

    “Fuck!” His voice cracked. Sobs rose in his throat, and he swallowed them back. Don’t you dare fucking cry. 

    If he had to cry—which he didn’t—he could do it while he was moving. He had to get home. He had to expose Murkoff. 

    The only way further was through a small library, so he pressed on, only to freeze as a buzzsaw sounded. 

    “Dinner bells!” The cook cackled as he rounded the corner. 

    Waylon gasped and ducked behind a shelf just as the man entered the room. Shit. Could he still run? He’d been able to block out the pain in his leg, but if he so much as moved wrong, it was overwhelming. Black spots appeared on his vision and he had to grit his teeth to keep himself from crying. It was the worst pain he’d ever experienced. 

    He’d have to be quiet, and quick. 

    The Cook buzzed his saw a few times as he entered the room. Waylon gripped onto the shelf to keep himself upright. In the quiet tension, he couldn’t ignore the pain anymore. It ripped through his skin, pulsing and wet. God, was it blistering? He couldn’t bear to look at it. 

    “I can smell you,” the Cook sung through closed lips. He chuckled. “I know you’re around here…”

    He blocked the light from the hall as he passed the missing spaces in the bookshelf. Waylon held his breath. The pressure on his leg was becoming too much, too much, too fucking much. A few tears trickled down his face. 

    He couldn’t hold it anymore. 

    Falling against the shelf, books scattered onto the ground with a clatter. “Fuck,” he groaned. The Cook had already heard him, so fuck it. 

    The Cook whirled around with his saw in the air. Waylon shoved himself against the shelf as hard as he could and it tipped over. Letting out a choked yell, the Cook stumbled backwards, only for the shelf to take him to the ground. Waylon screamed as he scrambled over the shelf to the door, black spots coating his vision. He sprinted down the hall as the Cook struggled to get the bookshelf off. 

    He sprinted through the halls until he couldn’t anymore. Smacking to the ground, he dragged himself forward. The buzzsaw was getting closer. He gasped and choked for breath, pulling himself towards a barricade of filing cabinets and hospital beds, trying to squeeze through the gap. 

    “You are mine!” The Cook yelled. 

    He was gaining. Waylon’s leg was dead at this point, he was in too much pain to even feel it anymore. He got through the gap just as a slash came down on his leg. He pulled himself through and the Cook tried to squeeze through himself, only to get stuck with a growl. 

    “Get back here!” He screamed. 

    Waylon staggered to his feet and hobbled, practically hopping on one foot, down the hall. He struggled his way through and found himself in a bathroom. Collapsing to the tile, he pressed his back to a closed stall door and pulled the fabric from around his leg. He bit back a scream as the fabric dragged across the burns. It was blistering bad, and the Cook had opened one with his saw, the pus dripping and running down his red skin. The burns covered from his ankle to his knee. 

    “Come on, Waylon,” he whispered. “Keep going. Get out.” 

    It took all of his strength to get to his feet.

    “See me now,” someone growled, their voice raspy. “Just try!”

    Waylon straightened up. It came from right behind him. He hesitated, then took out his camera and swung open the stall door. A Variant stood, holding a doctor on their knees, slamming their head into the toilet over and over again. 

    “What do you see?” He snapped through the blubbering and gurgling. “Who am I? Idiot.” 

    Waylon stumbled over to the sinks and set the camera up to face him. The Variant was barely in frame. 

    “Lisa,” he said cautiously, glancing at the Variant through the viewfinder, “or whoever finds this, know that Murkoff is creating monsters. I’d never seen the patients after they’d gone through that German’s so-called therapy. The Engine. So much worse than I could have imagined. They may still be human, but something’s been ripped out of them. And too many… other things pushed back in.” He repressed a shudder. “They were not all murderers. They were sick, but they weren’t killers. Murkoff made them monsters.” He reached out to grab the camera, then hesitated. “Dr. Roset said the engine had ‘varying effects,’” he made air quotes, “the variant outcomes too erratic for any sort of prediction.” He huffed a laugh. “I took it as idle cafeteria small talk, Raul’s endless chatter.” He swallowed and pursed his lips. “I should have listened.” 

    With that admission, he picked up his camera and hobbled out of the bathrooms. 

He found himself back in the fucking labs again. He made his way to a decontamination chamber full of gas. A man pressed himself to the glass. 

    “Shut it off!” He begged. “Shut down the gas, please, I can’t…!” 

    He had to get through that airlock to make his way to the prison. He’d have to find the valve to shut off the gas. And quickly, if he wanted this man to live. Through the green, he couldn’t tell if he was a patient or doctor, but he couldn’t waste any time. 

    He found a sheet of paper on a desk and snatched it, but didn’t bother reading it yet. While exploring for the gas room, he came across a Variant smacking his head into the door until it bled on the wood. Waylon grabbed his shoulder. 

    “Hey, man, come on, stop,” he said firmly. He looked into the Variant’s eyes and tried not to flinch away. His voice came out a little weaker. “Just… Don’t do that to yourself, okay?” 

    He hesitantly took his hand back. The Variant stared. Then continued. 

    Waylon sighed. These people are broken. 

    The buzzsaw picked up again as he hobbled down the hall. He grit his teeth so hard something cracked. 

    They met eyes through the darkness. Waylon whipped around and hobbled down the hall. The footsteps raced after him. Slamming the door behind him, he pressed himself to the wall next to the door and panted. BAM! BAM! The door nearly came off its hinges. BAM! BAM! 

    BAM! 

    The Cook barged into the room a few steps in and Waylon ducked back into the hall. Before the Cook noticed where he was, he hurried into another room with two beds and an open vent. Could he get up there with his leg? He hopped onto the bed and leapt. Fuck, that fucking hurt. Groaning, he pulled himself up into the shaft, barely biting back a scream as his leg dragged against the metal. 

    He dragged himself through the shaft, only to fall through a grate and land hard on the floor. One of the two doors slammed against its lock. Waylon leapt to his feet and rushed to the other door, swinging it open into the bathroom and slipping through a crack in the wall. He explored the halls a bit, staying low to the ground and in the shadows, until he passed by double doors into a lab room. 

    There was a patient file on the counter. 

     MURKOFF PSYCHIATRIC SYSTEMS 

    PROJECT WALRIDER 

    Patient: Frank Antonio Manera 

    Page age: 36

    Gender: Male 

        THERAPY STATUS: 

    Minimal Morphogenic Engine activity, and only at extreme (stages 5 and 6) levels of hormone therapy. Dream states return repeatedly to images of isolation and betrayal. Zero lucid state. 

     INTERVIEW NOTES: 

    He was lethargic and largely non-responsive, exhibiting interest only in the hypnotherapy script pattern 9 (Wernicke), concerning drinking blood from the chest of sleeping men. He continues to refuse baths or the attention of a barber outside of general anaesthesia, stating, “if I cannot partake, I cannot share.” 

     Recommended forced nutrition for Manera if we cannot find something he likes to eat. 

     MURKOFF PSYCHIATRIC SYSTEMS PROJECT WALRIDER

    MOUNT MASSIVE CO 

     The Cook. Frank Manera. 

    He continued through the room, jumping as he found a bloodied security guard curled in the corner. “Get out of here. This is my place.” 

    Waylon stared. 

    “You’re going to get me killed! Fuck off!” 

    Waylon crumpled the file in his hands. He hoped Manera came through here. He continued on, in the wallway finding the signs for the gas room. Following the signs, he continued through the labs, blood and corpses spilled over the slabs of metal. 

    “There you are!” Manera cackled, growing closer from behind. 

    Waylon hobbled forward, his leg burning under the pressure. “Leave me alone, you fucking creep!” 

    He cornered himself against a closed, gas-filled decontamination chamber. Manera stalked the halls. 

    “I won’t be hungry for much longer.” Manera grinned. 

    Waylon looked around for any sign of exit. I have to get home to Lisa. He looked up. A wooden panel hung over the top of the decontamination chamber. 

    Manera lunged. Waylon barely got out of the way in time, lurching to the left, then stomped on Manera’s foot. As Manera howled and doubled over, Waylon nearly lost his balance, vision blacking out for just a second. He regained his footing and shoved Manera as hard as he could. Grabbing the edge of the wood, he hauled himself to the top of the chamber. 

    The gas room was on the other side. He turned the valve and the chamber cleared. He sighed. 

    Now that he had a moment, he pulled out the file from earlier. 

     EXCERPT FROM 1957 AND COMMENT ON IG REPORT “OPERATIONS OF TSD” 

  Influencing Human Behavior 

  The potential use of psychochemicals in political action operations is well recognized...Chemical Division includes it as an objective of its programs to be prepared to support or make such operations possible. Non-chemical methods of accomplishing political action operations are also included in the program. 

     Note: (J.Lawyer/April 15, 1958) Present the above MKULTRA excerpt to Technical Services Division for budgeting and authorization of continued research of Dr. Rudolf Wernicke...and project WALRIDER. Autopsy of recovered test subjects show chemical content of bodies (metallic tumours, evidence of sub-dermal combustion) that indicate heavy psychochemical dosage. 

     MKULTRA? Waylon pocketed the note with shaky hands. That’s why they were experimenting on the patients? As much as he worked on it, he had no idea what Project WALRIDER really was. 

    He placed his hand on the door. He just had to get back to the decontamination chamber, see if that guy was still alive, and get into the outside recreational area. Then he could get to the prison and use the radio.