#dont you mind blurb

[starch1ldz]

Spencer Reid and his non bau partner. He always let's you know when he'll be home, especially if he'll be very late, sometimes he gets in at 4 am and he knows you'll be asleep, but the living room light is always on so he doesn't come in and stumble over something in his exhaustion and urgency to get to bed where you're asleep waiting for him.

It started off a few weeks into you living with him, he tripped over one of the many pairs of shoes kept by the front door and made a bit of a ruckus. It gave you a heart attack and you came out of the bedroom with the gun your father had insisted you have thats kept in the safe with Spencer's own gun and his credentials. When you realize it's him you sigh and lower the pistol, flicking the safety on, as you level him with an accusatory look.

He laughs nervously. “Sorry, love.” he mumbles as he slips off his beat up converse, pushing them into place next to yours.

You roll your eyes, but it's all good natured as you pull him into a hug, setting the gun down on the table where your house keys go for the time being. “It's alright, next time tell me when you're coming home and I'll leave a light on.” You say softly, as you press a kiss to his lips.

[squeakadeeks]

i need you to understand that being a physics department means every few months someone stops by out of the blue and tries to tell us about their "extraordinary new theory" and its just the most insane hogwash imaginable.

this particular guy fully printed and bound this book and just left it at our door. 80% of it is an appendix.

if this sounds insane and illegible, dont worry, it is. in a later part he "takes the limit of zero as zero approaches zero". someone called this standard model fanfiction and its all ive been able to think about for days.

[thedelusionalbitchgianna]

Emily: Truth or dare?

Reid: Truth.

Emily: How many hours have you slept this week?

Reid:

Reid: Dare.

Emily: Go to sleep.

Reid: I don't like this game.

[atlabeth]

okay i dont want kids but i cannot stop thinking about how good spencer is with kids. just thinking of like. will bringing henry into the office at the end of a work day because they're going out to dinner with jj after and they want to pick her up.

will goes off to find jj and you and spencer are entrusted to keep on eye on him, and spence is just. immediately so good with him. he's doing his little magic tricks like pulling quarters out from behind his ears and spouting endless facts when he asks him questions and just overall being so great with him, and you can NOT stop smiling

henry's like "do you work with my mom?" and spence nods, and he looks at you and is like "does she work with my mom too?" and spence nods, and then henry's like "she's really pretty" and spence looks at you too, cheeks tinting red but still smiling, "yeah. she is."

you nearly die on the spot.

and then you have to excuse yourself to the break room because picturing your crush as a dad is killing you very quickly. emily and derek can't even hold their laughs in as you run off

[felassan]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard Steam "About This Game" section -

"Enter the world of Thedas, a vibrant land of rugged wilderness, treacherous labyrinths, and glittering cities – steeped in conflict and secret magics. Now, a pair of corrupt ancient gods have broken free from centuries of darkness and are hellbent on destroying the world. Thedas needs someone they can count on. Rise as Rook, Dragon Age’s newest hero. Be who you want to be and play how you want to play as you fight to stop the gods from blighting the world. But you can’t do this alone – the odds are stacked against you. Lead a team of seven companions, each with their own rich story to discover and shape, and together you will become The Veilguard. Rally the Veilguard and defy the gods in Dragon Age™: The Veilguard, an immersive single-player RPG where you become the leader others believe in."

"UNITE A BATTERED WORLD Enter Thedas, a vibrant world of rugged wilderness, treacherous labyrinths, and glittering cities. The world is teetering on a knife’s edge while corrupt gods unleash havoc across the continent. Nations war, and factions splinter. Who will you trust? From the Arlathan Forest to the back alleys of Minrathous, this is a broken world. Your actions will affect the fate of Thedas forever. - Dramatic Single-Player Campaign — When corrupt Elven Gods threaten Thedas, lead the charge to save it. Rook isn’t afraid of a fight, no matter the odds. No matter the cost. - Vibrant & Diverse Environments — Enter a vivid fantasy world, and experience imaginative new locations as well as some you’ve heard of but never seen. - Larger-than-life Foes — Battle darkspawn, demons from beyond the Veil, dragons that rule the skies, and unique enemies as you advance your quest and fight for Thedas’s future."

"RALLY THE VEILGUARD Rally a team of 7 companions, each with rich lives and deep backstories. These are characters to befriend and even fall in love with. Among them, an assassin, a necromancer, a detective, each and all bringing their own expertise and unique abilities to the fight. You are never alone — decide who to take into battle, and together face down demons, dragons, and corrupt gods. - Recruit Distinct Companions — Your team is full of individuals with grim and wondrous histories, their own personal struggles and motivations, and rare skills that’ll help you survive. You’ll fight alongside Harding: The Scout, Neve: The Detective, Emmrich: The Necromancer, Taash: The Dragon Hunter, Davrin: The Warden, Bellara: The Veil Jumper, and Lucanis: The Mage Killer. - Rich Companion Stories — Deepen relationships with each companion and learn more about them on your adventures in Thedas. Your choices in these stories will impact how they develop, and completing them might unlock powerful abilities. Create memories with your team that will deepen your experiences in Thedas and give you more to fight for."

"BECOME THE LEADER OTHERS BELIEVE IN Select from different races and combat classes, customize your appearance, choose your character’s backstory, and begin your journey as Rook, Dragon Age’s newest hero. The choice is yours. On your adventures, you’ll gain new abilities and discover unique, powerful artifacts to enhance your own combat style. Brace yourself: there are tough decisions to be made, allies to inspire, and a fight that needs every sword, staff, and bow you can muster. - Be Who You Want To Be — Craft your personalized Rook with a robust character creator. Choose from a diverse set of appearance options for Human, Qunari, Dwarf, and Elf lineages. - Choose Your Way To Play — Select from 3 classes (Warrior, Mage, and Rogue), each with 2 distinct weapon types and unique abilities you can select between mid-combat. Experience new strategic depth as you combine fast-paced attacks, parries, and dodges with the companion ability wheel to exploit enemy weaknesses and seize victory with devastating combat combos. Customize a combat style that works for you. - Deep RPG Progression — Level up your Rook and companions with their own skill trees. Choose perks and combat abilities as you climb towards more powerful specializations. WARNING: See important flashing images and other health and safety information at www.ea.com/legal." [link]

[source: Steam]

[eldritch-nightmare]

i love liu so much he is just. That guy. to me.

everything about him is just. he's such an interesting character to me. he is so tragic in the sense that no matter how many times he loves someone, they're always doomed to die. he can never form any bonds, platonic or romantic, because death follows him like a loyal dog. it's his fault, he supposes. divine punishment for going down the path of revenge. something along those lines, he thinks.

i think liu tries so hard to protect those close to him. i think, even though they always end up dead, he never gets used to it. he feels to much. he never grows numb to the grief. maybe that's why sully is the one to always deal with death, because he knows liu will crumble at the sight of it. sully is the only person he's yet to lose, simply because he can't.

i've conjured up many different scenarios of liu falling in love, only for his lover to inevitably die in his arms. it haunts me like ghost. but there's always one specific one that haunts me the most.

heads up: many mentions of death, major character death, blood, and god.

i think about him meeting someone one day. it wasn't anything romantic or ‘drama’ worthy. hell, it probably wasn't even a meet-cute. realistically, it was probably something as simple as bumping into each other one time and then suddenly that person is like… everywhere you go, yknow?

and meeting you the second time, the third time, the fourth… it all felt natural. it was scary, how easily you wormed your way into his heart but then again, he never built up any walls. he can never stop himself from getting attached. he's only human, after all.

he never intended on becoming friends with you. he had wanted to keep you as a mere acquaintance, but you wanted more. you always asked to hang out with him whenever you saw him, even if it meant sitting in silence as he prayed or read a book. you didn't care, because you already viewed him as your friend.

viewing you as a friend was scary, because he knew the moment he got attached, then he was basically cursing you to die. but then months went by, and you were still here. you didn't vanish. you never got sick, or hit by a car, or murdered in a failed robbery. you were still alive. maybe that's when he started getting more comfortable around you, hesitantly letting himself get attached bit by bit, piece by piece.

death never came for you. you were so… alive. it took his breath away each time he saw you.

you started becoming a constant in his life. the one friend he allowed himself to have. even sully seemed to like you, which was saying a lot. he smiled more when you were around. it felt as if he could actually live a normal life, if he wanted to.

it's a shame that he didn't. maybe things would have turned out different, if he had.

you added color to his world in ways no one ever has before, and it was only a matter of time before he found himself falling in love with you. day by day, every time you came around with that sweet smile of yours, liu could feel himself falling. it was… scary.

would you die if he loved you? you haven't yet, so it would be okay, right? he could love you. he wants to love you. he does love you.

and loving you was as easy as breathing. it was an embarrassed, flustered mess when he told you how he felt about you. the guy wears his heart on his sleeve, so you weren't surprised when he confessed to you. but he was certainly surprised when you reciprocated his feelings.

it was like every day felt brighter with you in his life. he got happy over the smallest things. your smile, your laugh, the way the stars reflect in your eyes, how you light up like the sun whenever you start talking about something you enjoy… liu could spend hours just looking at you. you're like a painting come to life. he thanked god every day for bringing you into his life, because he simply couldn't picture himself living without you anymore.

and sully was just as smitten as liu. you had him wrapped around your finger. he's never had anyone other than liu, so he was fiercely protective of you. he was like a dog, the way he stuck by your side and scared off pretty much anyone he considered to be a threat. but the moment you call his name, he's turning into mush. he looks at you like you're the only other person in the universe. to him, nothing else could ever compare to you. nothing will ever match your beauty. if he could, he would devour you.

for the longest time, liu was terrified of leaving you alone for long periods of time. if he left you alone, you could die. but you always reassured him. no matter what happened, you weren't going to leave him.

“you're stuck with me, liu. even if you grow tired of me, i'll stay by your side.”

he had always been scared of telling you he loved you, but you said it so easily. you two could be sitting in total silence, and you'd suddenly say it. looking at him as if he were the stars and ocean combined, holding his face so gently in your hands, whispering it like a prayer.

sleep was easier with you. he felt safe. he felt like a different person with you. he felt as if he could forget about everything, and that he could just be liu woods.

it would take him forever to tell you about his past. he was worried that you'd want nothing to do with him if you knew. you listened to each word that came out of his mouth the night he told you, his head resting on your lap as you played with his hair. he thought you'd tell him that revenge wasn't going to make things better. he was prepared for it, actually. but instead…

“you won't leave after you kill him, will you?”

liu would have hesitated to answer before he met you. he never saw himself living after killing jeff. it was a bit grim, but that was his reality. but not anymore. not with you.

“i could never leave you. you're stuck with me.”

and that was all you needed to hear.

he was so caught up in his love for you that he forgot. he forgot. and he fucking hates himself for forgetting.

three years. three years into your relationship, almost five into knowing you. he left you alone for the first time. four days. he was gone for four days, and not once did he think anything bad could happen to you.

not once did he ever consider you crossing paths with his brother. he really should've, but he was so… so sure that this time would be different. you were supposed to live. you had so much life in you that liu couldn't even imagine you dying anymore.

you're the only reason he had a phone. you wanted to contact him when he was away, so you had got him one and added him to your plan. and when that phone rang, liu answered it happily with a small smile on his face, excited to hear your voice.

“i love you.”

your voice had been quiet. he could hear the terror in your words, the tears you were no doubt crying. worse, he could hear his brother in the background, mocking you.

“aw, i give you one phone call and you don't think to call the police? god, you're dumb. now your poor lover boy is gonna hear you die.”

and liu has never ran so fast. the panic, the adrenaline, it was the only thing that kept him from blacking out even as his lungs begged him for rest.

but it was too late. jeff was gone by the time he got there, and you were barely clinging to life in the middle of your bedroom floor. your blood pooled around you, staining your clothes. the floor. your skin. your phone.

it was like the world was coming to a quiet end. he held you in his arms, crying tears he couldn't feel.

“are you an angel?” you had playfully asked, your voice quiet. so quiet.

he begged. he begged you to stay alive. he begged god to not take you from him.

“i’m sorry i lied.” you said. “it looks like i won't be able to stay with you anymore.”

your heart was starting to slow. there was so much blood. why was he so cruel with you? what did you do to deserve this?

liu couldn't think of anything to say. he couldn't comfort you. he couldn't beg anymore. it was pointless, it all was.

“i love you.” it was the first time he said it, he realizes. three years of dating you, and he's only saying it now.

and you laughed. it hurt, but you laughed. that was all you needed to hear.

shakily bringing a hand up to his face, looking at him as if he were life itself, “i love you too.” he grabbed your hand before it could fall, your breathing starting to slow.

“i'm cold.”

watching the life leave your eyes was the worst thing to have ever happened to him. when you took your last breath, it was as if liu died with you. the grief he felt was so much that he shut down, sully having to take over.

and when sully saw your lifeless body in his arms, he laughed. this was a joke, right? you were just pretending. you can't be dead. you can't… you can't die. and when he stopped laughing, he cried. sully has never had to grieve someone before.

he cursed god. he cursed jeff. he cursed liu. he cursed himself.

i don't think liu or sully will ever heal from this, honestly. the grief will never go away. if anything, your death solidifies the idea that jeff needed to die.

for the longest time, i think sully would despise you for dying. how could you leave them? you promised you'd stay by their side, and now all they have left of you is a tombstone.

everything reminds them of you. it's like you were still with them, and yet they could never feel you.

how are they supposed to ever get used to never seeing your smile again? they'll never get to hear your voice or your laugh. they'll never feel your skin underneath their hands anymore. it's gone. you're gone.

liu would kill a thousand people if it meant bringing you back to life. sully would tear the heavens down and kill god if it meant you'd breathe again.

and sometimes, on the rare chance that liu is able to sleep, he dreams of you. he always hates waking up from those dreams.

liu will never stop loving you. no matter how much time passes, he always ends the day visiting your tombstone.

you were right.

he was stuck with you.

[postersofleon]

six long years:

leon sighed miserably after taking a long drink of his flask. another damn mission where he is having to deal with bullshit. but something was... different. he saw you. it's not like he has a crush on you, but it was... strange. six years ago he saw you in spain when he saw you and luis. you were an amazing scientist from umbrella who was saved by ada. leon knew you were going to choose ada because if he brought you with him.

you would be stuck in his hell. forced to do goodness knows.

you were speaking with ada in small mutters. you two were planning something. leon slowly approached the two of you, and ada smiled at Leon, "what are you doing handsome?" she teased. leon looked at you, "i'm sorry for not saving luis." he whispered.

you looked down at your feet, "it's been a while," you forced a smile, "it wasn't your fault."

but it certainly felt like it.

[gublernatural]

Okay so your AFAB nonbinary Emily fic got me in my feelings. It was so good!!!

I have a request idea where the AFAB nonbinary reader starts dating Spencer and Spencer being Spencer is all reassuring and scientific like, “people have been using gender neutral pronouns for thousands of years. It’s completely normal.” And he likes to impress the reader with his research that he’s done after getting to know them

If that’s also too specific I get it

note 1: i love that you guys enjoy me writing nonbinary reader!! my best friend is nonbinary so being able to show love for your community means a lot to me <3 but did want to say i am not nonbinary and i encourage you to seek out and support nonbinary writers as well!

note 2: i am a full-time student so i am not spending a lot of time researching lol if this info is wrong its bc it was from a quick google search

Send more requests here

All Spencer could do was smile as you were rambling about your gender identity. He loved listening to you talk, almost as much as he loved the blush on your cheek as you told him how you preferred gender neutral pronouns, and how you viewed yourself. "Honey," he chuckled as he cut you off, "I understand."

"Okay because," you rushed out, "I've just been thinking about this a lot and I know some people think it's weird or wrong or doesn't exist or stuff." Your voice fell as you finished. Your heart was pounding in chest. You knew Spencer would never judge you, he was the kindest man in the world. But Spencer was just the first step. After coming out to Spencer, there would be never-ending cycle of coming out. Friends, families, coworkers, doctors, everyone. It was overwhelming.

"Did you know gender neutral pronouns have been around for a very long time?" Spencer inquired, cutting off your train of thought. "It's dated back to the 14th century, at least the written record is. The first recorded use was a French poem about a pair of brothers. One turns into a werewolf, he saves his brother from his uncle that is trying to kill him."

All you could do was listen to Spencer spew facts he had memorized. You offered a "really?" and let yourself be comforted by both his voice and his knowledge.

"Really!" he exclaimed as he continued, "And while not completely correct as Native culture varies from tribe to tribe, there is a general idea of a 'Two-Spirit', of someone who is neither male or female. The idea of this can be hard to describe as the definitions available have been made to fit traditional western culture, and Native American culture has different rules and roles attributed to gender."

He barely let out a breath as he finished, "And, after all, gender is nothing but a social construct. What you define gender as is even different from what I define gender as. We all have our ascriptions based on our own personal education, experience, values, and perspectives. So whatever you choose to identify with is completely and totally up to you! I will do whatever I can to make you comfortable, I hope you know that."

A pleasant smile spread across your face, "I do know that." He leaned forward, said a quick "good", and pressed his lips to yours briefly. "I love you."

[butyoulooksocool]

STOP FOLOOWING THUS FUCKASS SIDE BLOG IM SERIOUSS😭😭😭 FOLLOW @backofhismomsmercury PLEASEplease PLEASE PELADE PELASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASE

[tamaharu]

for some weird reason i enjoy when stories are doing something more often than when they arent doing something. just a quirk of mine.

[koushirouizumi]

Someones description after they "Like" one of my NO R.B.s posts: "Stop vetting all your 'Likes' ffs!1!" ME: "No, sorry, you're violating boundaries I set hard since a LONG time ago where I said I'd block people who try to complain about people like me doing this, and I'm still blocking you until you interact with something that doesn't make me have to see that kind of description or vagueing!"

[mariasont]

im obsessed with reid’s hands. He’s got gorgeous long fingers its just🫶🏻😩. Id like to request a fic/blurbs whichever you prefer, revolves around that.. maybe he knows the reader loves his hands (especially when he cradles her face-neck and hair pulling).. nothing too spicy tho.. if you dont mind. Love your fics sm🥹

Where Hands Lead - S.R

a/n: i am also a victim to being desperately obsessed with spencer's hands! guilty af! and thank u so much babes i appreicate the love and the request <3

masterlist

pairings: spencer reid x reader

warnings: established relationship, hand kink, spencer being a smug little shit, domestic fluff, teasing galore, just two cuties being ridiculously in love!

wc: 1.6k

Spencer Reid's hands were a marvel. You couldn't pinpoint the exact moment you noticed them--maybe it was the day you saw him fiddling with a pen during a team meeting, his fingers deftly spinning it like he'd been born doing it. Or maybe it was the time he'd held out a hand to help you up after you got knocked on your ass after rough case, his long fingers wrapping around yours, pulling you to his feet. Whatever the moment, the realization hit you like a freight train: Spencer's hands were distracting. 

Of course, you never said it out loud. Not at first. How do you casually tell your boyfriend that his hands are your newest fixation? You'd settled for sneaky glances, admiring the way his fingers moved over the keys of his computer or absentmindedly tapped against his thigh when he was lost in thought. 

You thought you were being subtle.

But Spencer was sharper than you gave him credit for... and you gave him a lot of credit.

It started with small things. The way he'd catch you staring and tilt his head slightly, curiosity painting his features. Or how his lips would quirk into the barest smile when he'd reach for something near you and your gaze lingered a second too long. He'd never said anything, but you had the nagging suspicion he was onto you.

Then came the day he decided to test his theory.

It had been a rare quiet evening at his apartment. The team's latest case had wrapped up earlier than expected, leaving you both with an unexpectedly free night. Spencer, ever the perfectionist, had insisted on cooking dinner. You'd agreed easily, not-so-secretly thrilled at the prospect of spending uninterrupted tie with him. He'd shooed you out of the kitchen when you tried to help, insisting that you relax while he handled everything.

You were setting the table when it started. Spencer reached over to hand you a glass, his fingers brushing against yours. You glanced at him quickly, hoping he hadn't noticed the way your breath caught.

He had.

Spencer's expression didn't give away much--just the faintest quirk of his lips as he turned back to the counter. He began chopping vegetables, his fingers expertly curling and flexing around the knife. The movement was smooth, precise, almost hypnotic, and before you knew it, your eyes were drawn to them again.

"Everything okay over there?" he asked casually, not looking up. His voice was innocent enough, sure, but there was a certain lilt to it that made your cheeks heat.

"Fine," you replied, probably too quickly, forcing your attention back to the table. You busied yourself with arranging the plates, trying to will away the warmth spreading through you. 

Spencer, however, wasn't finished with whatever game he seemed to be playing. As you moved past him to grab utensils, he shifted just enough for his hand to brush against the small of your back. The touch was so light it could have been accidental, but it lingered just a fraction too long to be dismissed entirely. The warmth of it sparked along your spine, making your pulse leap in a way you couldn't quite explain.

What was wrong with you today? He was your boyfriend, for crying out loud. Casual touches like this were normal--expected, even. And yet, every brush of his fingers seemed to unravel you more. You cast a quick glance up at him, trying to gauge if he'd noticed your reaction, but Spencer simply smiled, his expression innocent, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.

You clenched the utensils in your hand, suddenly desperate to shake off this fixation before Spencer figured out what was going on. The last thing you needed was for him to think you were completely crazy--obsessed with something as specific as his hands. Surely, that wasn't normal. 

 By the time you finally sat down to eat, your nerves were fully frayed. Flustered didn't even begin to cover it. Spencer, on the other hand, looked completely at ease. He moved with his usually calm efficiency, placing food on the table with a soft smile. As he handed you a serving spoon, his fingers brushed against yours once again--warm, gentle, and far too distracting. You lingered a second longer than necessary, and while he didn't say a word, the subtle upward twitch of his lips suggested he notice.

Determined to pull yourself together, you focused on your plate. Or at least, you tried. Every movement Spencer made seemed designed to draw your attention. The way his long fingers curled around his fork, deliberate and precise, made your breath hitch. His index finger tapped lightly against the side of his glass as he considered something. Even the simple act of wiping his mouth with his napkin--slow, measured, maddeningly deliberate--seemed orchestrated to unravel you.

When dinner ended, you were quick to rise, eager to clear the table and escape the tight coil of your own thoughts. But Spencer was quicker. Before you could take a single step, his hand caught your wrist, fingers curling around you with just enough pressure to stop you in your tracks.

"I'll take care of it," he said, thumb brushing against the inside of your wrist before letting go.

Normally, you would argue. He'd cooker dinner, after all--it was only fair that you clean up. But today left you rooted to the spot. You sank back into your chair, wordless, your gaze following him as he moved around the kitchen.

Spencer rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, revealing the lean muscle of his forearms, and your eyes betrayed you once again, drawn back to his hands. The way they worked was mesmerizing--graceful and efficient as he dried plates, stacked dishes, and wiped down the counters with practiced ease. 

Spencer must have felt your gaze because he glanced over his shoulder, lips curving into a slow, knowing smile. He didn't rush, taking his time as he finished tidying up. When he was done, he dried his hands on a dish towel, then set it aside before making his way back to you. His hands were empty now, but no less captivating.

Stopping in front of your chair, Spencer lowered himself to one knee, his eyes meeting yours. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Heat swelled to your face, mind scrambling for something--anything--coherent to say. "I--what?"

Spencer chuckled softly, his hand reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "You're not as subtle as you think."

You opened your mouth to protest, but the look in his eyes stopped you.

"Next time," he continued, his thumb moving to brush against your cheek, his touch featherlight, "just tell me. I'd hate for you to sit there suffering in silence."

"I... don't know what you mean."

Spencer raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Oh, is that right?"

You nodded quickly.

"So you wouldn't mind if I did this?" he murmured, reaching out to cup your cheeks with the utmost care.

The warmth of his touch seeped into your skin, his thumb brushing slow, delicate arcs along your cheekbones. His fingers, long and steady, curled around the sides of your face, glueing you in place. Your breath hitched, the air between you thickening as your thoughts scattered like leaves in the wind. Words failed you, leaving only the rapid thrum of your heart.

"Or this?" he added, voice softer now, almost a whisper. His fingers slid upward, tangling in your hair with a sort of practiced ease that sent sparks racing along your legs. He tugged lightly, just enough to tilt your head and pull a soft, involuntary gasp from your lips. The gentle pressure was intoxicating, and you bit down on your bottom lip, completely undone.

"Spencer..." you managed, though it barely passed a whisper. His name trembled on your lips, a plea and a confession all at once.

"Or this?" he continued, one hand sliding down to rest on your thigh. His fingers curled just slightly. Your pulse quickened, a fluttering sound that betrayed just how completely he had you in his grasp. Spencer leaned in closer, expression smug, lips moving into a smile that left you breathless. 

"And what about this?" he added, voice dropped to a hushed murmur as his hand moved to tilt your chin upward. Before you could respond, his lips found yours. The kiss was slow, purposeful, and impossible to do anything but melt into. His hands moved back to cradle your face, fingers brushing against your jaw and the sensitive curve of your neck, their touch igniting a fire that spread through your entire body.

When he finally pulled away, you felt like all the air had been vacuumed from your lungs, cheeks flushed and heart pounding so loudly you were sure he could here it.

"Yeah, um," you stammered, the words tumbling out awkwardly as you struggled to regain your footing, "I don't think I mind... you could, uh, do it again if you wanted to."

Spencer's lips quirked into a slow, satisfied smile, his eyes sparkling. "Oh, is that so?"

He leaned in once more, capturing your lips in another kiss. This time, it was slower, unhurried, as if he were savoring every second. 

He leaned in to kiss you again, this time slower, savoring the moment.

When he pulled back, hands still cradling your face, he chuckled softly. "You know lucky for you, if my hands are your favorite thing about me, I've got two of them and all the time in the world."

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[saltwaterburns]

Ahhhhh kinktober, my favourite time of the year

kinktober | proving his worth - d.r.

day 1 - praise kink | kinktober masterlist

summary: after another rough race with vcarb, daniel seeks comfort in you back at the hotel. conversations arise about his uncertainty with everything about himself-- his driving and looks being a big factor. it's your job to prove the thoughts wrong.

WARNINGS: 18+ content, sub!daniel, dirty talk, praise kink, use of good boy, hair pulling.

w.c: 1.5k

a/n: happy october! i'm excited to share these blurbs with you all, and i hope you enjoy them. let me know your thoughts via reblog, comment or ask, i love hearing from you guys.

your thighs cradle daniel’s hips as you slowly move atop of him. his hands are on you as his fingers grip your soft skin tightly, with just enough desperation to reveal the weight of his emotions. his eyes, usually so filled with confidence and optimism, are clouded with something different now– doubt, frustration, the heavy weight of everything that has yet to fall from his mouth.

the tension that fills the room is almost suffocating, and a lot of it is radiating from daniel; his forehead pressed against your own, a shaky breath escaping his pouty lips. the only noises that fill the room is the sounds of yours and daniel’s skin hitting against one another, and the heavy breaths from daniel. that is, until he finally speaks up. “i just.. don’t feel like myself anymore,” daniel admits lowly, voice thick with emotion. his eyes land on his fingers that are absentmindedly tracing patterns on your soft hips. “everything feels wrong. maybe it’s me.” you run your fingers through his sweaty curls, tugging on them gently as you tilt his head back so you can see his face. you lean in and place a sweet kiss on his nose, before moving to place another on his lips. “don’t say that, danny,” you whisper, your voice gentle but firm. your hands cup his face, your thumbs brushing over his cheekbones as you look him in the eyes, wanting him to know how much you mean the words falling from your lips. “you’re still everything you’ve always been. on and off track.”

daniel swallows hard, you can see his adam’s apple bobbing as he does so. his grip on you tightens, scared to let you go. “then why do i feel like i’m falling apart?” he asks softly, as if he’s embarrassed to seek the reassurance. his wide doe eyes boring into yours, pleading for comfort. “because you’re doubting yourself, daniel. but you don’t need to, and you shouldn’t be. i’m going to show you how much you’re worth,” the words get to him, because you see the spark reignite in his eyes and briefly, you see his eyes get glossy. you don’t dwell on it though, because you know daniel wouldn’t want you to mention it.

your hips roll slowly again, and a quiet groan escapes him. there’s still that uncertainty lingering in daniel’s mind and you know it. tonight is about erasing every doubtful thought. you won’t stop until his mind is filled with nothing but praises– until your name, your words and your touch is all he can think about, leaving room for nothing else.

as your hips slowly grind against daniel, you can feel daniel begin to tense beneath you, his fingers gripping onto your hips tighter, holding onto you like you’re the only thing keeping him grounded. his breath stutters– from both pleasure and doubt-- and you can see him begin to spiral. but you won’t allow that. not tonight.

“look at me,” you murmur, voice soft yet commanding. daniel’s eyes open and focus in on your face, making sure to follow your instructions. “you’re incredible, danny. you’ve worked so hard to be where you are. you deserve everything.” his eyes flutter closed momentarily, as if he’s trying to take the words in and process them. you don’t leave it at that though, and you lean in to his neck as you pepper delicate kisses along the soft skin. “you’re perfect,” you mutter against the him, “every single part of you.” you trail the kisses down to his collarbones, your hands coming to rest on the hard planes of his chest. a shaky breath escapes him, the mix of your soft kisses and sweet words getting to him– in more ways than one. all he can get out is a small “yeah?”, looking up to your eyes hopeful, a sign he’s listening but needs more.

you grind down harder against him, reveling in the whine that leaves his mouth as he throws his head back. you retrace your tracks, moving back up his neck and this time, trail the kisses up to his ear, kissing just below his earlobe. moving your lips closer to his ear, a smile makes its way onto your face at the shiver that escapes daniel. “yeah, danny. you’re so good– so good to me and for me,” you whisper to him, catching his adams apple bobbing at the corner of your eye. your lips are now on his jaw, his shortened stubble graciously tickling your soft lips as you trail your kisses all around his jaw, making sure to love every part of him. “nobody makes me feel as good as you,” you tell him, your words coming out in soft, breathy praises. “you’re everything i want. everything i need.” daniel’s hips involuntarily jerk up at your words, a choked sound leaving his lips, and you know it’s starting to get to him. “you’re so strong,” you continue, moving your hands from his chest over to his arms, tracing every tattoo that was painted upon them. “you work so hard, and you’re so talented. and you’re so handsome,” you add, lips brushing daniel’s before leaving a chaste kiss upon them. “you’re so handsome, daniel.” he shudders beneath you, overwhelmed by the flood of praises, but he needs more of it. “say it again,” he whispers, almost as if he’s embarrassed. but you can hear the desperation his voice, pleading for you to continue. you smile, running your hands over his chest again, your fingers tracing the lines of his muscles. “you’re handsome. you’re perfect, inside and out,” you kiss his lips, slow and deep, before pulling back just enough to meet his gaze again. “you’re everything.” daniel lets out a broken moan, head falling against your bare chest as he continues to thrust up into you. his breaths are ragged, he’s panting with want and need, and you know your words are getting him closer. you move a hand to the back of his head, fingers delving into his curls, tugging gently as you play with them. he moves against you with more urgency, occasionally pressing soft kisses against your breasts, a silent thank you. “good boy,” you whisper, your lips hovering his ear as you give his curls another tug/ the words make daniel groan against your skin, you can feel him swallow thickly. his hips jerk against you once more, you know he likes that. “so good f’me, danny. so good.” his breath stutters, and you can feel him begin to tremble beneath you, the tension growing too much for him to contain. “you’re doing so well,” you tell him, words soft but filled with heat, each word dripping with affection and desire. “no one could ever make me feel like you. only you.” daniel’s grip impossibly tightens on you again, to the point you’re sure you’ll have bruises on your skin tomorrow. you aren’t bothered though, it only excites you. his thrusts up into you begin to get faster, driven by your praise. you place a kiss to his temple, before telling him”you’re mine, danny. every part of you is perfect. you’re so strong, so talented, so perfect. and most of all– you’re mine.” he whimpers at that, his moans growing more desperate as his head buries further into your chest. you can feel him losing control, every sound he makes coming out rough, needy. your fingers tighten in his curls as you tilt his head back, forcing him to look up at you. “look at me, baby,” you whisper, your voice a soothing command. his eyes, heavy-lidded and filled with lust, meet yours, and you smile down at him. “that’s it, danny. i want you to see how perfect you are.” a choked groan escapes him, his body trembling beneath yours, and you keep your hips moving, slow and steady, letting him feel every bit of you as you praise him. “you’re close, aren’t you?” you murmur, leaning in to kiss him again, slow and deep. “come for me, be a good boy.. show me how good you are, danny.”

his hips snap up desperately, his breath catching as he teeters on the edge, eyes locked on yours as if your praise is the only thing holding him together. “you’re so good. come for me,” you whisper, pressing your forehead against his as his body shudders beneath you, a strangled moan escaping him as his seed spilling inside you with no warning.as daniel’s body shudders beneath you, he completely lets himself go but you catch his face, pulling him into a searing kiss. “believe me now, danny?” you ask him, and he nods lazily into your hands, nuzzling into your soft palms. “i want to hear it,” you tell him, tone commanding.

his breath hitches at your words, doe eyes looking right into yours as he nods slowly. “ ‘m perfect..” he pants, swallowing before continuing, “i’m good, and i’m all yours.”

[maybanksprincess]

isnt the same without you.

warnings: comforting, fluff, insecurity, a little bit of blood.

summary: jj goes to a party without reader for the first time, and when jjs phone dies, she starts to overthink. (based off this ask, thank you anon!)

a/n: this is sort of short because its just a blurb, but i really love this request, its so cute!

pairings: insecure!reader x soft!bf!jj

you weren't feeling up to this big party that everyone was attending tonight. unfortunately, you and jj were planning to go for a few weeks now, and since you didn't wanna go, you didn't wanna stop him from attending it as well.

he insisted that he would stay home and look after you, he offered to buy you snacks and even watch those cheesy romcoms that he absolutely despises, but he tolerates them because you love them.

but you assured him it was okay, and he can go even if it made you feel a little uneasy.

you had never done well with being away from jj for long periods of time, let alone him going to a party without you. but you told yourself to 'grow up' and 'stop being a baby' about it. you needed to get a grip.

you decide to text him about an hour in, just to make sure he was safe, and then you promised yourself you would stop bothering him after that.

imessage:

11:01 pm: hey jay! im just checking in to make sure your okay, i dont wanna bother you or anything so im gonna let you have fun! bye i love you <3

-

you chew your nails, anxiously waiting on a response from your boyfriend.

about five minutes went by, and you were constantly picking up your phone, swiping up for any sign that he had read the text or responded. but there was nothing.

you waited another ten minutes, then got back to anxiously checking it again, still nothing. delivered.

you told yourself your being dramatic, and went to occupy yourself with doing the dishes, and sweeping the kitchen floor. by the time you had gotten back to your room about fifteen minutes later, there was still nothing.

you toss your phone down onto the bed, feeling frustrated but also upset at the same time. had he been hooking up with another girl? is he drinking too much? what if hes talking to someone else?

all these thoughts cloud your mind, and you find yourself biting down on the skin beside your nail bed. as your chewing away at your skin, your phone dings unexpectedly, causing you to jump a bit, tearing a piece of your skin off. (ouch.)

the sting of the bare skin makes your eyes water a little, a bead of blood trickling down your finger. "ow." you mumble, before picking up your phone and looking at whoever texted you.

it was jj. all your pain was instantly forgotten the moment you seen his text on your screen.

imessage

jayj🤍: "hey beautiful, im sorry i didnt text you back. i forgot my charger like a dumbass. but im at home now, and i didnt have fun. it was boring as shit without u baby."

you instantly reply to his message after reading it, your heart no longer feels like its carrying a weight anymore.

you: "thank you for texting, i was worried sick baby...i literally hurt my finger trying to answer the phone. I thought you might've been cheated on me or something."

you send that text with a underlying hint of insecurity in it, hoping he wont just brush you off. your in need of some reassurance from him right now.

jayj🤍: "baby you hurt your finger?!! and what do u mean 'cheat on you'? thats not even possible for me mama."

the next text eases your worries a bit, but you wanted to get everything off your chest.

you: "i just hate being without you for a long period of time, i wish i would've let you stay in with me tonight, but i know how excited you were for the party."

jayj🤍: "oh baby, no. parties are not the same without you. i would never cheat on you, im sorry if i made you feel that way, but that isn't me. you know your stuck with me forever mama, whether you like it or not."

now all your worries and insecurities are instantly gone, touched by your boyfriend's loyalty to you.

after you let yourself think for a moment, you remember the minor injury you caused yourself a few minutes back and wince slightly at the sting.

as if exactly on cue, jj double texts you.

jayj🤍: "oh and im on my way with some bandaids and snacks, i love you baby. unlock the door for me beautiful."

after he sends that text, you hear jjs dirtbike pull up.

[deansbite]

✴ ( ᴗ ᴗ 　BACK STAGE SECRETS !

— CONTAINS 18+ mdni!!! | quickie | pwp | p in v | creampie ( kill me now ) | unprotected sex ( WRAP IT UP YOU FUCKIN' IDIOTS!!!!! ) | public sex | smut smut & more smut

PS > @floralscented @jasvtsc @frosttbitessam @deansbeer @beausling my baes who i think look forward to this. this is ass btw dont mind it its a blurb i wrote in like 30 or ish minutes

— SUMMARY jensen gets horny. ( thats quite literally it )

JENSENS hands travelled down your body. every curve and inch of your skin he could touch was beneath his fingertips. his lips finally came around and wrapped around the exposed skin of your shoulder. his hands went lower and finally settled on your hips. his fingers were curved just a little to get a better grip.

“jen..” you groaned under your breath. he let out a breathy chuckle which tickled the skin of your shoulder. he slowly let go of the area with his plump lips.

ever so gently his hand went up to bend you over the very table he had a conversation at with his co-stars. shit, maybe this was more arousing than you would’ve thought.

“y’sure you’ll be quiet?” he whispered, his bearded chin coming into contact with the very same spot he marked up, the spot that was imensely more sensitive. a whine escaped your lips. “guess not.” his free hand roamed upwards and being used as a gag for you.

“i have t’be on stage soon. can’t be found with my dick all nicely sat in ya can i now?” he asked, but the answer was obvious.

he trapped his bottom lip between his teeth to stifle the moan when he positioned himself properly to your entrance. he drove his hips forward. it was quick-paced but, you knew it was necessary. he let go of his lip and threw his head back, a breathy — yet quiet groan escaping his lips. he was way better at this than you.

because usually.. you needed more prep to get him to fit as well as he did. no matter how many times you’ve been together intimately, he was huge and split you in two.

but, slowly he increased his pace, his belt clanking ever so slightly in the silent room. your hips kept going back and then hitting the edge of the table, probably causing a couple bruises. but it didn’t matter because the pleasure was unbearable. you were sure if jensens hand wasn’t silencing you — you’d be screaming his fucking name.

he probably knew and took advantage of that, inasmuch as he plunged into you much faster and harder, too. “mmf — hmphgh.” you tried to babble outloud, just for you to forget jensens hand.

“i know, baby. just keep quiet f’me and y’can cum soon.” it was like he could read your fucking mind. but it wasn’t like you could give two fucks with jensen fucking you with his expeditious thrusts in and out. the sound of skin against skin finally registered into your mind — and the wet squelch of your pussy.

“oh, fuck” he moaned into your ear, his hips stuttering, his hand — the one that was busy bruising the shit out of your hip, went forward and his index pressed against your clit. causing more stimulation and more muffled nonsense that escaped you.

the coil that was already threatening to snap — did, and you thought you saw stars. as you came down from your high, you noticed the warm liquid that spilled into you drip down your inner thighs onto your underwear which was shoved down your legs just enough to get access to your cunt.

jensen pulled out, tucking himself back into his pants and fastened his belt. then he helped you get ready — grasping the waistband of your pants and pulling them up alongside your underwear.

once you turned around, still hazy with your activities before, jensen pressed his soft lips against yours, just for a second.

“i can’t wait t’ruin ya when we’re alone.” he winked just as he was called on stage, running his hand through his hair and heading toward the door connected to the stage.

[millersfinest]

untethered³ | e.w

00s!ellie williams & 00s!miller!reader

wc: 8.1k

series: chapter one, chapter two, chapter three (you’re here!), chapter four , chapter five

blurb: it’s been awhile since you’ve been back home; in upstate new york where you’ve spent most of your life waking up early and tending to the animals that moo’d and meh’d. after graduation high school, and then college, the city life has stolen most of your attention. enabling you to visit only a handful of times through the years. when your lovely adoptive parents (tommy and maria miller) invite you back for a thanksgiving dinner—a troubled old flame from your childhood manages to get your attention, despite its explosive ending.

cw: +18, lmao flip phones, r and ellie NOT beating the cheating allegations, more use of y/n then i would prefer, she/her pronouns, afab anatomy mentioned, some vulgar language, fuckgirl!ellie (kind of), the millers, r is a writer (she doesn’t write much in this ch wink wink), dina being a bitch, more horndog ellie, r being a little self-deprecating, elements of longing, ellie is #1 lesbian yearner in the world, jealous ellie, some early 2000s references, thanksgiving, r is still very jealous of cat, hella angst, rich!abby (one of r’s evil exes), emotional cheating (from ellie), r using abby for sex, repressed emotions, crazy mature chapter (wasn’t intentional lmao)

note: lmao guys, i just wanna say as i proceed with this series… i do not agree w cheating on your partners DONT DO IT. don’t be like ellie (or the reader), it hurts people’s feelings and it’s just not worth it. i hope i tagged everyone who wanted to to be. bisous little lesbians/sapphics in my phone <3 please, enjoy this dramatic ass chapter x

Normally, you wouldn’t be so pliant with Abigail—letting her hands drift toward the small of your back. Clearly, expressing her attraction, because she lost that privilege a while ago. But, you were weakened. And with the burning dark irises of an old friend into the back of your frame, you couldn’t help but let her. It was like she was some sort of cloak of invisibility. Some made up thing in your head ease your spirits.

You met Abby about a year ago, 2004, at some high profile event your agent made you go to. Isa introduced you as an aspiring author to anyone that she could, getting your name out there—which was a good thing, but horribly embarrassing at the time.

Abby was there with her dad, a well-known general surgeon in the city; when she was still in medical school. Wanting someone to talk to, you offered her a drink; a flute of expensive champagne. You didn’t hide your attraction to her, but you approached her with an open mind. Fortunately for you, the night consisted of flirting and great conversation. She was smart, and you loved smart women.

Give or take a few months, you withstand her busy schedule—dating each other, giving only a sliver of intention to one another. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but what you did know is that you couldn’t stand flakiness. Abby began to flake on you a lot; whether it was for her friends or work or school. For work and school you understood, but even then there were days you spent laying around each other completing your priorities. Somehow in the midst of your temporary romance, she began to cast you aside. Maybe it was because you weren’t drowning in money like she was. Or, she just didn’t like you—both were awful options.

Taking the lead, because you’d rather dump than be dumped, you broke up with her—she then hit you with: we weren’t in a relationship. Which was rough on the ears and heart. That was the first time you actually tried with someone in a long time, and she fucked it up. You learned your lesson, though.

The two of you didn’t speak for a few months, but then you called her on a very lonely night, begging for warmth. And, ever since then, it’s been off and on—you playing hard to get and her playing wanting to have.

In the bar, with your hand clutching your cold, cheap cocktail, you walked with her in the direction of Ellie. Abby had her eyes set on her friend group, so she didn’t realize you were slowing down. “I’ll catch up with you…”

“Oh—“ She looked down, seeing the table of three practically gawking at her. Abby made a face that was unreadable. “Don’t make me have to come and find you.” She purred in your ear, slipping her arm from around your shoulders. Abby was such a show off when she wanted to be, which was more often than not.

An uncomfortable smile rested on your lips, hand waving, shortly, to the three sat at the rocky table. Ellie looked completely taken aback, leaning forward on her elbows. “Who the fuck was that?” Ellie whispered as you slipped into the seat she saved for you. Her jacket was placed on the back of your seat, holding it for you.

“Hey, y/n!” Jesse spoke, grinning ear to ear, leaning back in his wooden chair.

“y/n,” Dina said, plastering a fake smile on her glossy lips.

Jesse snickered, taking a sip of his beer. “Is that all you? Goddamn.”

“She’s just a friend from New York…” You waved a hand, dismissively.

“We just watched her feel you up and buy you a drink. Some friend she is.” Ellie countered, glancing over her shoulder at the tall, muscular blonde sitting with her friends. And, weirdly enough, Abby had her eyes on her, too.

You scoffed, holding up a hand. “Okay, she didn’t feel me up. Just forget it.” Shaking your head, you replaced that stern look on your face with a smile. “Anyway, how are you guys? It’s been a long time.” You wrap your lips around the straw sticking out of your drink. The sweet tangy flavor of the alcohol mixed with cranberry juice spreading over your tongue—easing your worries.

He glanced at Ellie, briefly. So fast, you almost missed it. Almost. “I’m doing good. Just moved into my new place in Boston. How about you, Dina?” Jesse raised an eyebrow, nudging her arm.

She stirred the ice in her water with her straw, raising a thick eyebrow. “I’m great.” Dina responded, simply.

“Great.” You say, sipping your drink, awkwardly.

There was silence between the four of you that could only be classified as awkward, uncomfortable and tense. Ellie boring her big eyes into the side of your face as you, purposely, ignored her. Dina no longer having a reason to speak because of your sudden appearance. And, Jesse, well… He was normal. If anything he was trying to fight the demon that was the awkward silence.

Ellie shook her head, a scoff falling from her lips. Abruptly, she stood up, walking over to the bar. Even though her beer was barely touched. “What’s wrong with her?” You mutter, watching her get up. She motioned for the bartender, and you watched them fill up a shot glass. Her slender frame leaned over the bar top, on her toes. Pale skin exposed between the belt holding up her jeans and the hem of her shirt. You couldn’t help but let your eyes linger there—places you’ve touched with the pads of your fingers…

“I don’t know… But, I’m curious. Be right back.” Jesse stood to his feet, taking his beer with him. Leaving, none other than, you and Dina left alone.

Chewing your lip, you slide your drink forward, looking her in the eye. Perhaps, it was the liquid courage settling in your muscles. “Things shouldn’t be weird between us… Ellie wanted me here.” You felt the need to defend your place. Ever since that day, she always seen you as some predatory figure—now, that you think of it… She had even before that day. Just did a better job at hiding it. You were the predatory animal chasing over your gullible and prancing prey—Ellie

“Yeah, and sometimes she doesn’t know what’s good for her. So… I’m sure she did.”

Ouch.

You physically coiled at her words. A dry, pissed scoff fell from your lips. “Fuck you, Dina.” You cursed, leaning back in your chair. Ellie could never do wrong in her eyes—it was obnoxious. Did she have a crush on her or something?

She dryly laughed, shaking her head. “Fuck me?” Dina raised an eyebrow. “Look at her!” She jutted her brown eyes in her direction. “Every time you’re around, she ends up looking that. A wilted fucking flower.” She scolded you, causing you to follow her eyes. Jesse spoke to her with intent eyes. Ellie ran her hands through her hair, eyes shifting side to side. You didn’t know what they were talking about, but it seemed serious. “Just face it, y/n… You’re the common denominator here.”

The common denominator. What an interesting choice of words.

“She’d probably have a better night if you just leave. Go home. Let blondie over there take you home… Or a taxi. I don’t care.” Dina turned her face from you, like you were nothing.

Your hands began to shake and tremble from her words. The muscles in your face twitched and heated up like a furnace—eyes welling up with pained tears. You sniffled, standing up from your chair. Trying every which way not to make a fuss—saving face. She was always such a bitch! So, instead, you rushed to the bathroom with the stiffest posture. Heels stalking by Ellie and Jesse with eyes set on the women’s restroom to unleash your fury.

It was like a gust of wind passing her, Ellie’s words trailed as she unloaded onto Jesse about where her minds been. He was, probably, the only person she could even share it with. Dina didn’t like you very much, she was too emotionally involved. Jesse wasn’t bias and could give her proper advice—it was just up to Ellie if she wanted to follow it or not.

Ellie confessed that the feelings she had for you hadn’t gone away. Something he already knew. But she explained it like an act of a possession—as if the softness of your skin, the beauty of your features, the smell that exuded from you was a spooky presence that just won’t leave her alone. A poltergeist. It was becoming a carnal need the more she saw you.

But what about Cat?

What about her?

Then, on cue, you passed her. Ellie only caught a glimpse of your face. Jaw trembling, the sound of your emotional hiccups. Immediately, her olive eyes shifted to the young woman left at the table. She clenched her jaw, shaking her in disapproval. “Jesse, can you get a fucking handle on her?”

“Easy, Ellie. Don’t talk about her like that. She’s just looking out for you— or trying to.” He told, shifting on his feet. “…And she’s pregnant.”

Her eyes widened. “What?!” Jesse motioned for her to whisper.

“Shh! I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Dina’ll kill me.”

“You guys aren’t even together—“ Ellie pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. “Congratulations.” She intoned, running her hand through her hand. “If you don’t mind, I’m gonna go check on—“

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll talk to Dina.”

Meanwhile, you paced around the single person bathroom. Purse thrown to the ground, makeup smudged down your cheeks. Fists clenched at your sides, and every few minutes pounding a spot on your thigh that inflicted enough pain to briefly distract you from the pain inflicted on your heart. Dina doesn’t understand! You’re not a bad person for what happened that day. When will Ellie get the heat for what happened? Why does it always have to be you? It was always your fault.

So much time has passed, meaning you’ve thought about the altercation for a long time. Hell, it was all you thought about at times. You should’ve never put your hands on Ellie that way—you knew that. But, she shouldn’t have pushed you to do it either. That was her mistake. Pushing and prodding at someone she claimed to love. Ellie was aware of that, too. She wrote about it in that letter she hand delivered on her eighteenth birthday.

Wringing your hands out, you heaved. Emotions still weighing heavy on your heart. Her words cut you like a knife—triggering you. Before you met Tommy and Maria Miller, life was so much harder. Everything was your fault and your birth parents—and the numerous foster parents that you had—made sure that you knew that. It wasn’t fair then, and it wasn’t fair now.

What stopped your progressing thoughts was the gentle call of your name, and a soft knock. It was Ellie.

“Go away!” You sniffled, leaning over the sticky sink to get a look at your appearance. It was a tragedy.

“Please, just let me in. I don’t know what Dina said… But, I’m sure it was fucked up— look, she has her reasons.”

“She has her reasons—?!” You exclaim, looking at the door through the reflection.

“But that doesn’t make it right. I know.” You heard her lean against the door. “Please, y/n.”

Wiping your face, you sighed. Sniffling, you walked over to unlock the door, gulping. “It’s unlocked…” You spoke, weakly. Positioning yourself with your back against the sink, you crossed your arms. Watching her push inside the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Ellie pressed her back against the door, observing you with the softest pair of green eyes you’ve ever seen. It was charming. Through her thick eyelashes, pelvis leaning forward—like she was a child in trouble.

“I’m so sorry about Dina. I should’ve never invited you… I just thought things would be different.” She frowned, fiddling with her fingers in front of her body. Her fingernails had chipped black nail polish on them; focusing on that was easier than focusing on her.

“Well…” You dryly chuckled. “You thought wrong.” Slowly, you drag your eyes from her hands, to her face—avoiding her eyes, though. “Apparently, you’d be better off if I left… Or died; if it were Dina’s way.” Your voice trembled, tears falling from the corners of your eyes. Dina didn’t tell you to die, but that’s what her tone told you. All you were doing was existing. If that’s what stressed Ellie out then… Fuck. Maybe you should just croak, huh?

Ellie ran her hands over her face, taking quick steps towards you. “Fuck— I don’t know why she said that.” Her hand ran through her straight hair, frustrated at herself and Dina. “I—… I do want you here. She doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about.” She reaches a hand out for you, but you flinch. There was a slight height difference to the pair of you—your heels caused you to look down at her. But, you weren’t looking down on her.

She was close enough for you to notice the orange-brown flecks in her irises. The ones you missed… So much, and desired wholly. However, you pushed yourself into the ceramic sink, fighting temptation. “Don’t tell me you actually believe what she said?” Her doe eyes looked up at you, demanding a response.

“I don’t know… It’s more than that, Ellie.” You analyze her features as inconspicuously as you could—which wasn’t possible. She noticed everything because she was doing the same thing.

Your bodies drew to each other like the opposite sides of conjoined magnets. Eyes intertwining and overcoming like they always did. Tensions were high, and you were in an enclosed space—your stomach rumbled with anticipation. “Tell me what it is, then.” The feeling of her fingers sliding up the curve of your elbow caused you huff, moving to the toilet to sit down. Cold air replacing where her fingers attempted to tether to you.

Ellie sighed, bunching her hand into a fist at her side. She knew what she was doing—after all, she was a pusher. It was hard to identify when to stop.

You dropped your head into your hands, forcing even breath from your lips. “It’s just… Old shit, okay? Dina struck a nerve.” You glanced at her through your hands, lips quivering.

Ellie took your previous spot, pondering. She knew about your life before your parents—how awful those people treated you; and she couldn’t understand why. You were a scorned person, like most of the kids you grew up with, but underneath it all you were soft. She’s witnessed that softness. And she will regret it for the rest of her life that she was the one to pull you from that that—all for dumb proof of trauma.

She realized too late that she was never alone in that traumatic suffering of the adoption system. After that day, she never wanted to see you hurt like that again. Or at all. Ellie wanted to make everything up to you.

Seeing those tears staining your cheeks; she wanted to kiss it better.

“I’ll talk to her.” The words fled from her mouth. Her old converse squeaked toward you, squatting before your sat figure on the filthy toilet. You turned your head, shutting your eyes and shivering at the thought of her. “Hey,” Her fingers grazed your jaw, pulling your eyes into her line of sight. “I will. She crossed the line— this isn’t my favorite version of you.” Her eyebrows deepened, pressing her lips into a firm line. She wanted to be level with you—not above or below.

Those words were music to your ears. Supple in its raspiness. The warm touch of her fingers on your face, you leaned into her hand. She had a favorite version of you? You reached up, gently gripping her wrist to pull it from you. Ellie shouldn’t have been touching you like this. But, even so, your bodies somehow gravitated toward one another. Eyes staring at each others parted lips, wanting. Needing. Her hand bracing on your thigh, pulling herself closer until your lips met.

Soft and forbidden. You gasped against her mouth, pulling away for a brief moment. Her olive eyes were pleading, and you just couldn’t say no. Being a victim of your flesh, your hand found its way to the back of her neck to pull her lips flush to yours. Mixed whines coming from the both of you; lips merging and meshing together. Creating something beautiful.

Every time you were physical with someone they were missing something. This was it! The passion, the history—the things that matter. The fucking chemistry; it was all there with Ellie. And, deep down, you knew that it was the only place you were going to find it.

She pushed into you, being guided by her carnal desire. Whining and growling into your mouth. Hands gripping at your hips, and the side of your backside. Ellie was hooked under a spell you concocted—some aphrodisiac that exuded from you. And she wanted to breathe more of you in until she couldn’t anymore. She was gluttonous.

Breaking her trance was a rough knock on the bathroom door. The two of you basically jumped apart; you falling into the toilet, nearly touching the water, her falling on the floor. Some of the glitter on your lips had rubbed off onto hers—it looked nice on her, but that was besides the point.

“Some people need to piss! Get out of the fucking bathroom!” Some heavy handed woman exclaimed from the other side.

A smile spread on her lips, hazy eyes watching as you pulled yourself up. “Fuck, Ellie. Why are you smiling?” You walk to the mirror, taking a look at yourself. You and Ellie had just kissed. The same Ellie who’s girlfriend is waiting for her back at the guesthouse. The pressure was already hitting you like a ton of bricks—Ellie was right, you had a terrible poker face. How could you forget about this? “Can you hand me that?” You pointed to the purse beside her.

She chuckled, standing up from the floor. Your purse was in her hand as she walked up behind you, handing it over. Her other snaking around your hips—clearly, still overcome. Taking the purse, you smack her hand away. “Enough!” You scold, deepening your eyebrows. She pouted, crossing her arms. Leaning her back against the wall, shutting her eyes. But it was soon replaced with a smirk.

Your fingers rummaged through your purse for your lipgloss. “This didn’t happen… This never happened…” You muttered to yourself. Once you found the sparkling tube, you began to apply it like a nervous tick. “I still don’t know what you keep finding so funny— nobody can find out about this, Ellie.” You turn to her, dropping your lipgloss back into your purse. “What just happened isn’t fucking funny—“

You were a homewrecker, a thief of girlfriends—watch out New York!

“You’re spiraling.”

“Yeah, and I have every reason to. This isn’t me. I’m not this person. You have a girlfriend!”

Ellie watched you ramble with a look of in awe in her eyes—you were fucked, and so was she. “I remember…” She couldn’t compel herself to care about the repercussions of hr actions; Ellie just wanted you. Even more now than before. She was given an inch, and she was ready to take a mile. Perhaps, longer if that was possible. Your ethics only made her want you more.

The glitter on her lips distracted you, causing you to reach your thumbs near her lips to wipe away the signs of you. Her wide eyes looked up at you, hands wrapping around your wrists. Where did she learn this type of behavior from? VHS porn?“Ellie, will you quit it?!” You stomped your foot, squeezing your eyes. “Fuck me.” You whisper to yourself, adjusting your purse.

“I’ll see you at home…” You mutter, placing your hand on the door handle.

“Am I not driving you?”

“No. You’re gonna stay here, mingle—fuck, I don’t care.” You shook your head. “Abby’s gonna take me home.” The words rushed from your lips because you were thinking and speaking at the same time. You needed an alibi and that’s what Abby was going to be.

The auburn-haired woman rolled her eyes, scoffing under her breath. Jealousy peaking inside of her like it did earlier. “Abby. Abby… The buff blonde you walked into the bar with— the one who was feelin’ you up.” She popped the p sound, nodding her head with searching eyes.

“She wasn’t feeling me up. I don’t think you know what feeling up looks like.”

“Show me, then.”

Your jaw almost dropped from its hinges, gasping at the woman before you. She was shameless, and you were the complete opposite—it was a recipe for disaster. “Like I said… I’ll see you at home.” You opened the door, slipping through to allow her some privacy. The people must’ve opted for the men’s restroom. Fucking freak. You thought, fighting the amused smile off your lips.

Adjusting your top, you approached Abby’s booth. She was surrounded by familiar faces—you knew them-ish. “Abs, can I talk to you for a second?” She looked up at you, blinking with slight confusion at your state.

“Oh, hi, y/n!” A short-haired woman grinned, wiggling her fingers at you.

You smiled at her, while Abby shimmied out of the booth. Taking her hand, you led her away from her friends, keeping her large hand in yours as you began to speak. “I know it’s early, but could you take me home? Like, now?”

She deepened her eyebrows, a hand dropping to your face, wiping at the mascara stains that had run down your cheeks. “Are these tears?” She bunched her eyebrows, gripping your chin and moving your head side to side. “I saw you run to the bathroom—“

“It’s not important, all right?” Your eyes peer up at the blonde woman, pressing your lips into a line. Pleading and batting your eyes at her—you really wanted to go home. And you weren’t necessarily doing it for Dina, it was more so because of her. As well as the fact that you had just made out with a woman who was spoken for. Whose girlfriend who is only ten minutes away, and who also offered to get champagne for Thanksgiving after you mentioned its absence. It was currently, probably, chilling in the fridge as all of this unfolded.

While you semi-sensually begged the woman to drive you home in her Jaguar, Ellie had gotten herself together in the bathroom. After you left, she released a joyful laugh once the door shut behind you. As if she had finished with making out with the hottest girl in school—very teenage-like. Her cheeks were flushed, blushing a warm mahogany through her freckles. You wanted her just as much as she wanted you; the kid proved that much.

But, then, a pang of guilt settled in the pit of her stomach. A fragment. Very small and minuscule.

It wasn’t right away; Ellie was certain that you thought of her to be cold based on how she was handling the situation. She had a girlfriend and found the situation amusing? You’re right—nothing was funny about what happened before you fell into the toilet and before she fell onto the floor. The both of you had managed to dig yourselves into a hole that she didn’t want to get out of. And she was sure you felt the same—she hoped you felt the same. Holes were fun, right?

Ellie wanted to keep digging deeper, and deeper, and deeper. She wanted to envelop herself with you, just like she used to. However, this time, she wasn’t planning on letting you go.

Cat was just something—someone she had to deal with in the meantime. She’s gonna fix it… Ellie just doesn’t know how, right now. She can’t think straight. Pun intended.

Leaving the bathroom, she checked her cell. Noticing the few messages her girlfriend had left her during the short period of time she had you to herself. Her avoidant nature caused her to skim them, then slap her phone shut.

“Everything good?” Jesse questioned, watching as she approached the table.

Ellie shoved her phone into her front pocket. “Yeah… Everything’s fine.” Her olive eyes averted to Dina. “Dude…?” She squinted her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Els. I went too far, I know.”

“I’m glad you know.” She sat in her chair, glancing over at you talking to the buff blonde. “What you said was fucked up, and I should be more mad at you, right now…”

She sighed, pouting her lips. “Well, thank you for your mercy, sire.” A smile creeped onto her lips.

“Dina,” Ellie narrowed her eyes, shaking her head.

Jesse side-eyed her, pressing his lips into an unimpressed line. She looked over at him, lips parting. “Just tryin’ to lighten up the mood. Excuse me.” Dina deepened her eyebrows, sliding down in her chair.

Ellie chortled, shaking her head once more, making sure to swing it far to get a glance at you. She watched you follow Abby back to her booth, telling them that you were leaving. Her hand guiding you, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. Fuck, that should’ve been Ellie. She hated watching you lean into her like that—shrinking yourself. That wasn’t you.

You were bold, opinionated, and despite your strict upbringing, you never shrunk. If anything, Maria and Tommy’s parenting gave you confidence. That used to intimidate Ellie, but it didn’t anymore. It influenced her.

As you walked out with Abby, Ellie gave an awkward wave, but you snapped your head in the other direction. You needed to clean your pallet, and that’s exactly what you were planning to do in that shiny black Jaguar.

When the door opened, the brisk, autumn air hit you, cooling your body down. But your mind was still set on using Abby as a cleanser—a handkerchief to wipe you of your mistakes.

You feigned a straightforward destination, giving her the address of your childhood home. But, halfway, you told her to pull over onto a dark dirt path. She made a joke, asking: Is this where you kill me and steal my car?

And you respond, full of need: I don’t want your stupid fucking car. I want you. Launching yourself over the center console, wrapping your arms around her face. You swing one of your legs over to straddle her in the driver’s seat. Hips grinding against her, shoving your tongue down her throat like she was going to leave you. Although, she wasn’t going anywhere—not with you on her lap, anyway.

Abby groaned into your mouth, gripping your ass over your jeans, pushing you harder against her. Messily, you begin to trail your lips down her jaw, toward the softness of her neck. Urgently nibbling at her skin. “Fuck, you’re eager…” Abby muttered through her heavy breathing. “I like this version of you.”

This isn’t my favorite version of you. Ellie’s voice echoed in your head. It frustrated you.

Warmth built up under the crotch of your jeans; the thick seam doing very little for the pleasure you wanted. “Please, Abby…” You breathed into her ear, tugging at the silver ring through her cartilage. “Touch me.” Reaching for her hand, you place between your legs, cupping her hand as she groped you. Meeting her eyes, you taunted her, chewing on your bottom lip.

The blonde didn’t hesitate, unbuttoning your jeans and shoving her hand inside. She was always quick to give rather than receive—listening to any command you spoke. As the pads of her fingers contact with where you needed her the most, you sighed. “You’re so wet for me already…”

It was debatable whether it was for her or not. With your eyes squeezed shut, you imagined the earthy, olive eyes of your past lover. The softness of the her lips. The desperation in which she put her all into pleasing you—it was experienced before. But, at that point, you were amateurs. So much has changed since then. You were curious how much, though. “All for you.” You whined, rocking your hips against her hand. Lying through your teeth.

She pressed two fingers into you, pushing a moan from your throat. Hands gripping her shoulders, bracing your weight. You imagined them to be her fingers curling deep inside of you—pulling sounds from you like a puppeteer.

You were worser than you thought.

Abby was supposed to be a pallet cleanser, but instead she was just a vessel for your horny fantasies.

The palm of her hand rubbed against your clit, pushing you closer to an edge you wanted to fall off of. A tightness built in the pit of your stomach—burning like a prosperous flame; standing by to erupt. “Ah… Fuck, yes!” You lewdly affirmed, fingers gripping the roots of her hair, back arching into her. The smell of lavender shampoo wafting into your nose from how close you were.

Ellie would never wash her hair with lavender shampoo. She stuck to sweeter, muskier smells. The one’s you liked.

Your legs trembled around her hips, jolting with every stroke and thrust. Her ministrations intensifying causing the sounds from your lips to get louder, laced with desire. “Abby,” You trembled with a warning tone. “I’m g—gonna… Fuck, I’m comi—“ Your choppy words are cut off with the snapping of a band in your stomach—spreading over you like a brisk gust of wind. Shocking your body into a brief state of paralysis against her strong frame.

She coax’s you through your orgasm, with that same come hither motion that got you there to begin with. Although, she was so quiet. That’s when clarity hit you, as you shakily rocked against her hand. Reaching down, you grip her wrist, kissing the pressure point under her ear. “Can you check the time f’me?” You sweetly ask, still subtly, rutting against her.

Abby checked the watch on her wrist. “Eleven-something.” She hummed into your neck.

“Eleven-somethin’, huh?” You tease, lifting off her, trying to settle back into the passenger seat. “I should probably get home…” You zipped and buttoned your pants. Normally, you’d be eager to return the favor, but your plan didn’t work—and, frankly, that irritated you. That nerdy, auburn-haired, freckled woman, that you knew so well, had burrowed herself under your skin already. It was a recipe for disaster.

There was a twitch in Abby’s brow at your sudden departure from her. She felt that bite of coldness; it was something she wasn’t used to. Nonetheless, she drove you home. With you leaning on the window, watching dark, shedding trees pass you by. All the way until you felt that familiar shift from side to side as you cruised over the gravel that led to your childhood home.

“How long are you gonna be here for?” You asked as she pulled to a stop, where Ellie’s car was previously parked. It was out of courtesy to wonder; these parts of town wasn’t really for people like her.

“Until the end of the week, then back to work.” She turned toward you, pushing her hair behind her ear. “When am I gonna see you again?” Record scratch. Abby Anderson has never asked you that. She was always aloof and carefree. I’m too busy. Let me check my schedule.

You couldn’t help the laugh that fell from your lips. “I’m really tying to spend some time with my family, but— uhm… I’ll call you, okay?” Leaning over the console, you place a lush smooch on her lips—riding on the confidence from her lack thereof.

Getting out of her expensive car, you adjust your clothing before walking into your house. Thankfully, the lights were off, meaning your parents were asleep. Thank, God. You looked awful, and you preferred not to be questioned on your state, Ellie’s whereabouts, and who took you home.

Gently, you shut the door behind you, keys jiggling in your hand. Slipping out of your heels, you tiptoed toward the fridge just to prove something to yourself. The white light from the fridge illuminated your deadpanned expression as two tall bottles of champagne sat on the second shelf. Nobody likes champagne that much. You rolled your eyes, scoffing under your breath.

Cat didn’t deserve any of what happened tonight, and you hated that.

When you got to your bedroom, you wasted no time to peel the clothes from your body. Falling atop of your mattress like a starfish. Before you slipped under the covers, you pulled your laptop onto your stomach to log into your MySpace. There was a red notification on your activity icon. When you click on it, StarlightWilliams had added you back—you were mutuals now. The pads of your fingers touched your lips, remembering the softness of hers from that moment in the bathroom. The pressure of her slender fingers gripping your sides—wistfully you sighed, slumping your head against the fluffy pillows and stuffed animals against your headboard.

Suddenly, your computer makes a sound—a ping. You sit up, squinting at the incoming notification.

kit_cat79 wants to be your friend!

What a coincidence. The website exposes whether you were online or not—you couldn’t hide from her. So, you decided to add her back. Cat’s picture was of her with her tongue out, dark bangs styled to the side. You didn’t realize that she had a tongue piercing—could she get any cooler? Maybe you should get a tongue piercing.

Her mood hadn’t been recently updated, but it was: Optimistic.

Her bio didn’t over explain much, but said more than her freckled counterpart: my name is cat and i do tattoo’s !! message me for inquiries (or ur a loser). Your eyes and cursor skimmed her account, not paying attention to the smaller details. Quickly, you navigated to the pictures and videos. There were some pieces of her work, candids of Ellie, pictures of her at band shows—

kit_cat79: hey… i know it’s late, but that was you who just got back, right?

The messages appeared at the bottom left corner of the screen, blinking green.

BugsWritersRoom: Hey, yeah. That was me…

Duh.

kit_cat79: i thought you went with ellie in her truck. also… where is she? she’s not answering my texts.

Was she worried about her? Or was her questioning coming from a place of distrust? Or, a secret third option... you had a bad case of paranoia.

BugsWritersRoom: She’s still at TB. I’m sure she’s just distracted catching up with Jesse and Dina.

kit_cat79: oh…

kit_cat79: that was some car you pulled up in...

She was wanting to start conversation, but you were too tired. You didn’t want to think about, or talk to another person about Abby. Let alone, talk about her with Cat. No offense. Sleep is the only time when your mind was going to finally rest, and you can resume thinking tomorrow.

Leaving her message on seen, you shut your laptop, pushing it to the side. You took Cat’s message as a sign to shut it down, reaching to click your lamp off.

You allowed sleep to take over, cuddling into your pillows as if it were a body. Hitching your leg over it, tugging it to your chest. Could you have been more evident in your loneliness? In your restless dreams, your brain scoured for something to show you. Something relevant, of course.

Olive eyes, freckles, prominent beauty mark—it was obvious what images it was looking for. Ellie.

By the time the sun lingered on the horizon, a tragic alarming song sang in unison to wake you—the sound of your ancient alarm, and the sound of the rooster sat atop of the chicken coop. Groaning into the pillow you held, squinting your eyes open. It had pulled you from a dream that was… Certainly, a dream. It was untoward, lewd; just straight up nasty.

There was a wetness between your legs that was the first to get your attention. Out of shameful curiosity, you reached your hand under your shorts; hoping it wasn’t your period suprising you. Pulling your fingers out, there was an absence of the dark hue that was a symbol of your menstrual cycle. It was fairly clear, shiny, and slick. You were a victim of a wet dream. How juvenile.

The sight of it only made your hornier. So, while you still had time, you jumped for one of the bags you brought. You were expected for morning chores, but there was always time to rub one out.

Taking the battery-powered silver bullet from you bag, you attempt to switch it on but it doesn’t respond. You even switch the batteries around, blowing into the port. “Come on…” You complain, but it still it doesn’t adhere to you.

You groan, falling back into your pillows. There was nothing wrong with going old school, but you were a creature of habit.

Sliding your hand down your body, you slip under your shorts and underwear. It didn’t take long for you to completely rouse yourself, blinking your eyes shut to fall into your imagination. Usually, the best material was your most recent hookup—or some celebrity crush that you couldn’t get over.

The movement of your finger mirrored a strong blonde who always aimed to please you. You could imagine yourself gripping her long, silky hair, pushing her into your pussy—devouring you. Feeling her hands gripping your thighs, anchoring them to the mattress.

You relished in the feeling that was slowly washing over you. So much so that when the image of blonde hair began to fade and be replaced by short auburn strands, you barely noticed. Subconsciously, replicating the dream that kept you snug as a bug all through the night.

Your ministrations quickened as you neared finality. Bottom lip slipping between your teeth. Soft, repressed moans sneaking through them as your hand clutched your breast, thumbing your sensitive nipple. The serotonin levels increasing with every swipe and slide. Fuck, El—

Downstairs, the artist peeled dried paint from her fingers, waiting for you. Staying out late knowing she had to get up for chores was a huge mistake. There were many mistakes that happened last night. Another being, ignoring Cat’s messages. Ellie pulled into the driveway not too much later than you—it was nearing one o’clock.

When she entered the guesthouse, shrugging off her jacket—with a mind busier than New York City herself—Cat was found in the small living room. With her thin eyebrows bunched together and her arms crossed over her chest. Dressed in nothing but a fitted tank top and cheeky underwear.

Ellie had looked at her with a stressed look, “What are you still doing up?” Walking past her to the bedroom to undress and unwind. Cat scoffed, following her to the bedroom. Slippered feet stomping behind the artist.

“What am I doing up?!” She chided, twitching toward her. “I’ve been texting you all night, Ellie. You couldn’t respond to one?”

The freckled woman plopped onto her side of the bed, kicking off her shoes. She pretty much saw the messages as they were coming in; Ellie just didn’t have the nerve to respond. She didn’t feel like it. Not after what happened in the bathroom—she couldn’t come back from that. Hell, she didn’t want to come back from that. The only image replaying in her mind was your lips on hers. Your hands imbedded in her hair. The wanton sounds coming from you that she wanted to hear on again, and again, and again. That feeling of being between your legs...

And, let’s not even get into how it felt to see you leave with Abby. That ruined her whole night. Not even Jesse could cheer her up.

She ran a hand through her hair, looking over her shoulder with a tired expression. “Babe, I’m sorry, okay?” She began, standing to her feet to remove her jeans. “We just got too carried away talkin’ and whatnot.” Walking to the bathroom in the bedroom, she shed her shirt from her body. Ellie found it too easy to lie—she’s always been good at it. And, Cat was pretty gullible. But she had to throw a monkey wrench in there to really calm her down.

“Turns out… Jesse got Dina pregnant.”

“What?”

She turned on the shower, then peaked out of the doorway. “Yeah, how crazy is that?”

The tattooed girl fell onto the edge of the bed, eyes casting toward the ground, full of uncertainty. “Super crazy…”

Noticing the subtle dejection in her features, Ellie sighed. Leaving the doorframe as the shower ran hot in the background. She appeared before her, reaching her hand down to lift her chin. “Kitty Cat,” Her voice was soft and oh, so forgiving. “I should’ve responded to your texts— I’m an asshole. Let me make it up to you…” She sultrily offered, caressing the softness of her chin with her thumb.

And that’s what she did. Ellie made it up to her girlfriend of almost a year. By fucking her in the shower hard enough to make her forget about all of her uncertainties.

She had a long night.

This morning, she got up an hour earlier to get a better start on her sketch—she even started incorporating her oil paints. That’s what was stuck to her hands. The coloring in of her portrait of you in front of that shed. She felt the need to freeze that moment in time; where you embraced each other in the arms of company for the first time in too long. That hazardous kiss you shared in that sticky bathroom at the Tipsy Bison inspired her to color in the lines.

“I normally hear her up and movin’ around… She’s taking longer than I thought she would.” Maria commented, munching on a buttered bagel. “How long were you two out last night?”

Ellie inhaled, lifting her eyebrows in thought. “I got back around one, but y/n came back earlier than I did. She got a ride from a friend.” She shrugged, the ends of her lips curling, mischievously. “I think her name’s… Abby.” Ellie added, glancing between the two parents.

“Hm. What made her leave early—?” Tommy began to ask, but he stopped himself. He frowned, leaning his elbows on the counter, peering at the auburn-haired woman across from him. “How’s Dina doin’?”

She chuckled. “Still pissed, if that’s what you’re getting at?” Ellie went from peeling paint off her fingers, to fiddling with them. “They got into a bit of a…”

“Fight?” The blonde woman questioned, deepening her arched eyebrows. She never liked hearing about you fighting—or seeing it. That was a strictness Maria was never going to get rid of. Tommy used to get into fights a lot, finding himself locked behind iron bars at the county jail. But that was years before he moved to New York. When he still lived in Texas with Joel.

“No.” Ellie bunched her eyebrows in defense, shaking her head. “It was an argument, but it didn’t last long. I handled it.”

Steps sounded from the stairs, silencing the three. Pairs of eyes peered up the stairs, hoping that it was you stalking down the steps—but it wasn’t. When he began clearing his throat and coughing, loudly, they knew it was Joel. “Goddamnit…” Tommy rolled his eyes, slapping his hand against his thighs.

“Good mornin’ to you, too, Tommy.” Joel scoffed.

He huffed, licking his lips. Just like you did when you grew irritated—Tommy’s antics had rubbed off on you. “Is there any signs of life from my kids' room—? Because she should’ve been down here five minutes ago.” He looked to Joel before glancing at his watch. “Maria and I planned for her to teach Ellie how to do our grocery shipments.”

“Grocery shipments?” Ellie cast her earthy eyes toward Maria.

“It’s a lot of information, but I’m sure you’ll catch on just fine, Ellie.” She placed her hand atop of hers, pressing her lips into a smile. “If only your teacher could be timely…” Maria sighed.

The freckled artist stood up straight, pursing her lips. “I can go check and see if she’s up…” She offered, shrugging nonchalantly. “I’m sure she is— maybe she just needs a little nudge. I had rough time this mornin’, too.” To be frank, offering to grab you from the second floor of the house was clouded with selfish intentions. Ellie hadn’t seen your bedroom since she was seventeen. She couldn’t help but wonder if anything had changed.

And, she wanted a useful reason to talk to you.

Your parents are wondering what the hell you’re doing— also, how was our kiss from 1-10?

Hey, you’re supposed to be teaching me about grocery shipments, right now— hypothetically, would you kiss me again… Or?

She was such a loser for you; she always has been. “If you don’t mind. I’m sure she’d appreciate seeing you more than me.” Tommy chuckled, nudging his wife but she barely broke a smile. Staring her husband down with icy, blue eyes.

Ellie’s eyebrows twitched, but she decided not to interact with whatever happened there. Quickly, moving to the stairs to find you.

What she could remember about your room was the pink wallpaper and the posters. You used to be very persistent in upgrading old ones for new ones—saving the old ones in your closet. She found it amusing how you could never get over anything; you liked to collect things. As many things as possible—posters, collectors items, superhero figurines—you were an undercover geek!

The fascination you had with catwoman was insane. But, understandable.

The stairs of your home was guided by many picture frames. Pictures of you lining the walls. The bottom starting with photos of you when you still went heavy on the eyeliner and hairspray; gradually preceding with much happier images of you. The final photo being the whole family together, including Ellie. It was taken after your college graduation, in front of the house. You were sandwiched between your grinning parents while Joel and Ellie were on both ends; her sporting a timid smile, and him grinning just like his brother.

She was so proud of you that day, but didn’t dare to enunciate that how she really wanted to. At the time, the shoulder you gave her was ice cold. Brisker than the harsh weather of the east coast.

When she emerged at the top step, the first door in front of the stairs was cracked open. But that wasn’t your bedroom, that was your parents’ bedroom. Down the hall, to the right, after passing an open floor planned media space, was the guest room. Where Joel was spending his nights. A little further down that hall was your bedroom.

It was the best spot in the house. Your bedroom have the best view of the front of the house, and was far enough from the prying ears of curious parents.

Neither you or Ellie were innocent teenagers—you both couldn’t wait to get some alone time, and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other once you started. It was the perfect place for late night shenanigans.

Again, some things never change, huh?

Strolling toward your door, Ellie raises her hand to give a soft knock. But she pauses at the faint sounds coming from under your door. Breathy whines, the light rocking of your old, rickety bed frame. Could she hear just how wet you were from outside your door?

She leaned closer to the brown door, her bottom lip slotting between her teeth. Ellie wanted to be sure she was hearing correctly, of course. She heard you cursing and swearing, but nothing shocked her more than when she heard you squeak her name. “Fuck, Ellie…”

Apparently, Ellie wasn’t the only one who was overcome. Wanton sounds filled her ears like a mantra before she decided to interfere. Knock, knock! She heard you gasp.

“It’s Ellie... Your parents are gonna throw bitch-fits in T-minus five minutes if you’re not downstairs soon.” Ellie kept herself composed, using her hand to hold her weight against the wall. She heard you shuffling behind your door, cursing under your breath.

“I’ll be down in, like, five minutes!” You shout, the sound of quick maneuvering being heard from Ellie’s side of the door.

She wanted you to open the door, just to get a glimpse of that blissed out look on your face—Ellie anticipated that flustered look. Forgetting about her own blushing cheeks after hearing you say her name while touching yourself. She felt like a fucking king.

Stuffing her hands into her pockets, she walked to the media space. Lifting up CDs, VHS tapes, and eyeing thick books that haven’t been touched in years to pass the time. Fuck, Ellie—still played in her mind like a record. There wasn’t any scratching, only smooth playing; no interruptions.

When you appeared from your room, dressed in your working cowboy boots, a long-sleeve Abercrombie shirt and bootcut jeans—there was a shit-eating grin that just wouldn’t leave her face. Ellie turned around to lay her eyes on you, unable to help but ogle. “Do you have a condition that you’re not mentioning? Perhaps, a tumor—? Since you can’t help yourself when it comes to laughing…” You grumble, placing your hands on your hips.

Your words only made her smile more. The more time the two of you spent together, the more snarky you were becoming—she missed that. “Turns out, under some circumstances… I can be a morning person. Some circumstances.” She muttered, mainly to herself but she didn't mind if you heard. Ellie deliberated with herself on whether she was going to expose what she heard you say… Or, if she was going to hold onto it. Similar to how victorians put the hair of their lover’s into lockets.

“Whatever, Els.” You rolled your eyes, loosely calling her by that nickname, again. Ignoring the harshness of her eyes, you passed her to descend the wooden stairs. There was still a mindless sleepiness to you. It was charming to your past lover, as she followed behind you—floating on air. Thinking about how great of an idea it was to come back this year.

And, still, Ellie was barely harbored with guilt. Even more so when she inspected your features, intently. When her thoughts wandered into the gutters of her creative mind—spreading you wide in all of your glory.

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