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ladey · 6 months ago
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‘i can’t believe i’m doing this’
Jinx x Fem!Reader ᰔᩚ
notes: nsfw, explicit smut, fingering & cunnilingus, swearing, mature & sexual topics, characters are 18, y/n's height is implied to be short (5'0ft), reader is feminine! minors & men dni !!
wc: 5.4k
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“You wanna hookup with someone?!”
Only 2 weeks are left of the school year. The days are longer and warmer, and now that it's technically summer the weather is no longer rainy and dreary like it had been in spring. Not that you can complain. It means that you can watch the tree buds and the flowers bloom while your seasonal depression slowly dissipates.
Right now you sit in the school cafeteria during lunchtime. It's not too often you do; the friends you have are usually all over the place and like to go out somewhere to do whatever during the lunch period. However today is one of those days where there is only three of you, and you guys just so happen to be sitting at a table smack-dab in the middle of the cafeteria.
And this gives you three a perfect view of all the different people in your school...
Fatima and Bailey, two of your best girl friends, are sat across from you with bewildered expressions. You had just told them out of the blue that you were thinking about hooking up with someone so that you can lose your virginity before graduation.
You feel embarrassed and start focusing on eating your cafeteria bought garlic fingers. But you’re pulled back into what you already unfortunately started. "Why am I surprised but also not surprised?" Fatima squints her eyes in an odd analyzing sort of way.
On the contrary, Bailey looks excited. "That is big news, Y/n! Do you know who you wanna do?" She leans closer from across the table and reaches her arms out to grab yours tightly. The girl has hooked up with so many random people, you aren’t sure why she does it or if she enjoys it as much as she says she does. But you know that if you’re going to attempt this, going to her for help would be a wise decision.
"Umm.. Well I had a few people in mind. There are a couple of guys that would be down no questions asked..."
"You sound unsure." Bailey observes.
"Um... I just— I think, maybe doing this with a girl would be better.. or nicer..." You whisper, looking around to be sure no one is listening. Fatima looks up from her phone with an eyebrow raised.
"That's probably gonna be way harder to figure out. Girls are picky, they know what they want and they'll make sure they get it. Especially, when looking for a hookup." Fatima explains. You get the feeling that she's just talking about herself. "Plus, there's like barely any girls in this school who regularly hookup."
Bailey turns to her. "Well they don't have to be someone who does regularly. As long as they're open to them then that's all that matters." She shrugs and turns back to you and smiles. "And they have to be hot of course. Someone who knows what they're doing."
"Hm..." you hum, leaning back a bit as you gaze veers off to nowhere in particular.
You wonder what hooking up with someone would even be like. Before starting high school, you hoped that you would meet someone and finally get into you first relationship. And it's not that you think going into college or university as a virgin is bad, you just want to be able to say that you have some experience. You also really want to know what sex is truly like instead of just imagining it in your head.
At that same time, a loud laugh reverberates to your left. You turn around and see a girl with long blue hair and an obnoxiously punk-esk style standing a couple tables away from yours.
She throws a plastic bottle at a boy who's drenched in water. Him and the others there laugh, and she waves them off before walking in your and your friend's direction. You look away and squirm in your seat, hoping the girl won't approach you guys.
Your prayers were ignored though.
"Hey Jinx!" Fatima calls out warmly, Bailey smiles with a wave. Curse you and your whole friend group for being friends with literally everyone.
Jinx momentarily stops behind you to greet the two girls, "Hey Fatima. Nice top." And she's walking away again. But not before punching you shoulder, almost sending you flying against the edge of the table and breaking a couple ribs.
"Jeez." You grumble under you breath as you glares holes into Jinx's back as she walks away. Out of nowhere Fatima sits up straight and her face fills with realization.
"Holy shit. You can hook up Jinx." Your stomach drops to your ass.
"Huh?" "What?" You and Bailey say at the same time. Fatima looks at the two of you like what she said should've been obvious.
"What? She literally hooks up people all the time. With girls. She's exactly what you're looking for, don't try to convince me otherwise."
"She's an asshole to me! Are you forgetting we hate each other?" You protest.
"So what? Then the sex will be better."
Bailey slowly turns her head to look at you who's currently trying to control you breathing. For some reason the idea has your heart beating rather fast. "I heard that she had a pregnancy scare once, and never hooked up with a guy since." Bailey hushes quietly, making you gasp.
"Ew..." You grimace slightly. Jinx with a dude? Highly unlikely. Why does that thought make you a little mad?
"Pft yeah I heard that before." Fatima chuckles.
They veer onto a different topic right until the bell rings signaling the end of lunch. When you sling you bag over your shoulder Fatima goes to stand beside you. "Just think about it. Remember you can ask Mikey to help you sort it out." Her and Bailey send you reassuring smiles and the three of you go your separate ways to your respective classes.
-
A few days pass by and you are sitting in the cafeteria again. You’re on your free period right now, but you’re still rubbing your temples to ease the slowly dissipating headache from the previous math class.
You’ve been thinking about your discussion with the girls ever since it happened. And after deep thought and consideration...
Jinx sits at a table not too far from yours. A couple boys are with her and they seem to be laughing at something on one of their phone screens. Jinx is facing away from you, but you have a good view of her exposed back. Her long blue braids cascade behind and passed her shoulders and you can see the muscles jump whenever she leans farther across the table. You have also noticed that Jinx always seems to sit with her legs spread, and you realizes that that's always been a trait you like on women.
...You’re starting to believe that you might just give in.
But then Mikey comes bounding into the area all happy and gleeful. He looks around and goes to Jinx's table, talking and laughing about god knows what, then approaches another popular dude carrying a basketball.
Minutes pass until Mikey is finally walking up to your table. You swear, this dude knows everyone. He's part of the reason why you even know who anyone is, and why they know you exist.
"What's good, Y/n?" He plops himself down across from you and pulls his own phone out to place it on the table.
You shrug only giving a small smile. "I'm fine."
Mikey notices you look conflicted about something and decides to dig farther. He squints his eyes at you. "Something is on your mind. What is it, tell me?" He waves his hand beckoning you to talk to him.
You puff hair into your cheeks then blow it out. You’re not sure you should bring up the topic from before. You’re afraid he'll have something negative to say.
What if she has a girlfriend— or worse, a boyfriend that you don't know about?!?!
"I was talking to Fatima and Bailey a couple days ago about... who the right people to hook up with would be." You start. Mikey hums and nods. You just stare at him hoping he'll get the hint.
"Soo you wanna hook up with someone?" Thank god.
"Yes." You sigh. "And we came to the conclusion that—Jinx," you choke, "could be a good person. Or whatever." You pause. "Look I wanted to choose a girl instead of a guy because if I'm gonna hook up with some rando, I want it to at least be enjoyable and not super uncomfortable..." You don't want to bear the pain of having your cherry popped by some impatient horny dude.
Mikey just looks at you, seemingly processing the information and thinking about it.
"Well, with Jinx it's a 50/50. It depends on her mood. She doesn't get into details about the shit she does, but with you... Ehhh she'd probably be a bit rough." He explains. Why he knows this information, you don't wanna know.
And you guess what he meant by that is how you and Jinx aren't on the best of terms, and that if it came down to it she'd probably be tempted to strangle you to death in the middle of it or something...
"Okay.."
"I can go ask her what her type is. Find out if she likes ass or tits." He holds his hands out as if weighing two options. "Wait wait. You know how she fucks depending on her mood, but you don't know what her type is?" You say a little too loudly in the quiet cafeteria. Jinx glances behind her at your table.
Mikey shrugs his shoulders now looking like he's being accused. "Listen, I don't go askin' her what she likes and dislikes, I don't care. She tells me what she tells me on her own. Now do you want my help or nah?"
You groan and lean back, fingers clutching at the edge of the table. You think about it to yourself one last time.
You’d be shocked to find out if Jinx is actually open to hooking up with you. You yourself aren't an eye sore, many people have tried hitting you up both online and in person. But you and Jinx's relationship have always been a bit rocky seeing as you just never got along due to your differences and.. lack of tolerance. So you’re not sure if Jinx would be able to ignore that for once just to spend a little while fucking... Oh jeez.
You glance past Mikey at Jinx's figure once more and sigh. You play with the rings on your fingers, "Fine, go." You wave him off curtly. He gets up and leaves.
Mikey, please don't make this obvious. You think to yourself as you watch him casually sit himself down beside Jinx and dap her up.
You squirm in your seat and distract yourself with your phone when the two seem to fall into conversation. You doesn't expect Mikey to come back only minutes later.
"That was quick." "Yeah. So, she said she leans more towards tits but ass is good too." "Did you find out her type?" "Ehh, she didn't really say anything specific. So, I think you're good."
He gives you a thumbs up.
You breathe out a sigh. So, you guess that you’ll just make up your mind from here and find out if Jinx is game or not. You tap your long nails against the flat surface before finalizing, "Okay. I'm down."
Mikey smiles at you approvingly. "Alright~ I'll ask her at lunch."
-
The sun had gone down. The street lamps seep in through the sheers covering the windows. You sit quite still on the edge of your bed, knees pulled up to your chin as you stare down at the floor ahead of you.
Earlier that day after lunch, Mikey had found you looking like he was in an oddly good mood. Turns out Jinx said yes and now you’re to expect the girl to message you at some point.
Why? Why did Jinx agree? Could this be a set up, or a joke to her? Will Jinx meet you somewhere and just make fun of you the whole time until you leave feeling humiliated with yourself? You know Mikey would never do that to you, but Jinx...
You bite your lip, your gloss shining in the soft glow of the pink LED lights stuck to your walls. They're always able to put you in a good mood, paired with some music playing softly from your speaker. At the moment they're struggling to do so.
Right as soon as you huff and fall backwards onto your mattress, you get a notification from Snapchat. Your heart leaps and you slowly lift the screen up to your face. And what do you know, it's none other than a message from Jinx.
You tap the screen and open it...
Jinx: so me, huh?
Y/n: oh don't get so cocky.
Jinx: isn't that what u wanted??? 😹
Y/n: don't start pissing me off now.
Jinx: jeez louise nobody can joke with ya 😒
Y/n: anybody but you.
Jinx: we'll see abt that
Well... this is magnificent. This is actually happening. You’re going to fuck Jinx. Or the other way around— Both perhaps? You’re confident in yourself, you always have been. You may not have firsthand experience but you knows the basics.
Now you have to prepare yourself. At this point there's practically a week left of classes, so you’re aware this is going to happen soon. You only hopes Jinx won't be too unpredictable and give you whip lash with whatever plans she comes up with.
The when and wheres have you on edge already. You try to look at the bright side, and all you can come up with is the fact that at least Jinx isn't a stranger...
-
The car ride is deathly silent for nearly the whole time. Save for a couple of questions made in a lame attempt at small talk.
You have no idea where Jinx is taking you two. She had said a while ago that there is a couple of places that people go to hookup. You can guess you have no idea what these places are, or what they look like. Or if it's even safe or far enough out of public's eye.
You feel a need to act a certain way in hopes of not coming off too boring or unemotional. You cross you legs and rest your chin on your fist, staring out of the window and at the passing trees. Only sparing the blue haired girl a few glances. The girl in question stares straight forward, left hand clutching the steering wheel and her right arm resting on the middle storage compartment cushion.
You wonder if Jinx is high and that's why she agreed. But this had been planned for a week now. Oh how you wish you hadn't suggested the girl to your friends.
You're growing increasingly nervous and scared about how it will go. How Jinx will treat you. Or if you will embarrass yourself in front of her. It's embarrassing enough knowing that Jinx now knows that you're a fucking virgin. You can feel your dignity slowly draining like a leak while coming to terms with the fact that you're quite literally giving your virginity away to your enemy.
The only positive thing your can tell yourself is that at least she's better than a near stranger.
"What'd you tell your parents as a cover up?" Jinx's raspy voice cuts through the soft rumble of the car. Your look over at her.
"Or are you so much of a goody-goody that you told them what you're doing?" Jinx turns her head and a smirk spreads across her face as she looks you seated beside her; sitting almost poshly in a way that makes her want to roll her eyes and laugh.
You glower at her even after she's turned away. "Obviously I told them I'm hanging out with a friend. What else would I have said?" You mumble the last part as you look away to stare out of the window once more. You're expecting a retort but shockingly one doesn't come.
You've driven out of the main city and have now been driving through woodsy areas for the past almost 10 minutes. And although the nice warm sunny weather makes up for it, you're starting to get antsy.
"Are we almost there?" You mumble loud enough for Jinx to hear as you sit up in your seat. Fingers now fidgeting in your lap.
"Getting excited are you?" You hear Jinx tease. You don't even bother sparing her a glance. "Shut up, that's not what I meant." Truly, you just want to get this over with.
Jinx let's out a hum as she turns onto a rocky road. Dust wafts up past the windows and soon she pulls into a small-ish secluded parking lot behind an old building. It's shaded by large trees, and vines slither up the cracking and chipping brick building. Only slivers of sunlight manage to peak through the leafy branches above them.
If it were under different circumstances, you would quite like this spot. However you can't lie that you aren't apposed to it. In fact you're feeling kind of—
"We're here." Jinx's voice cuts through your thoughts for a second time today. You had barely noticed when the girl had stopped the car and sat there looking at you for a moment.
You stop your inspecting and slowly turn to face the other girl while you nod your head. "It's nice."
Jinx takes a deep breath and sighs, her hand still resting on the wheel as she looks forward. She looks like she's fighting to find words to say. She scrunches her face up for a moment and then it's back to neutral. You're just watching her.
All of a sudden Jinx is opening the door and closing it after she steps out. You watch her walk to the back door and open it; she leans in and fiddles with something until the back seats slide 20 or so inches backwards.
Oh. She's giving us more room...
You feel your stomach flip. You turn back around burying your face in your hands, whispering to yourself, "I can't believe I'm doing this."
You unbuckle yourself with trembling hands and let yourself out of the passengers seat to go meet the girl waiting for you. Who's now found herself a spot and began fiddling with something on the floor.
You open the door and ungracefully sit yourself down, shutting the door harder than intended.
"Careful, would ya?" Jinx sits up and frowns. "I pay for this thing." You curl your lip and roll your eyes while looking away, mumbling a half assed "sorry."
Jinx shuffles a bit and sniffles before facing you and giving her full attention. Her expression gives away that she's analyzing you. Now you feel like a freak.
"Soo, how much experience do you have?" Jinx casually asks. You open your mouth to reply but nothing comes out.
God how can people do this? And like it's nothing? How is she so chill about it?
"Um.." You shrug. "I know how to kiss." You timidly meet Jinx's eyes which were unknowingly staring right into yours.
"That's better than nothin'." The bluenette says. Her eyes rake up your body until she meets your eyes again. She scoots closer until your knees are touching and she reaches out to grab your arms; your hands previously fidgeting in your lap.
"Mind if I kiss you?" Jinx's rough teasing voice is so close to your ear. You involuntarily take a breath through your parted lips. The lips that Jinx is gazing at every few seconds before looking into your eyes.
You look down at Jinx's lips. They're shut, but still plump and soft and shining with what looks to be lip-chap. You think you can smell cherry cola. How typical.
But you really don't want to keep Jinx waiting. Only a couple of seconds have passed but it feels like it's been 5 minutes already. Your jaw clenches; eyes quickly flicker up to Jinx's making momentary eye contact before going back down to her lips and closing the gap.
Jinx is slightly taken aback but she's quick to reciprocate. Her hands move to rest on your bare thighs, fingers gently caressing the supple skin. You feel your breath catch in your throat. One of your hands timidly reach up to Jinx's toned arm, slowly gliding up her bicep until it's resting on her shoulder.
You two separate for a second to catch your breaths at the same time Jinx's sneaky hands begin sliding farther up your thighs. You let out a hot breath against Jinx's lips, who lets out a breathy chuckle and presses her lips back against yours.
Jinx's tongue slides against your bottom lip. You gladly grant her entrance and the bluenette wastes no time slipping it inside of your mouth. You didn't really lie that much when you said you knew how to kiss. You have a general idea. You only have minimal experience with it...
You tentatively stick your own tongue out to glide it against Jinx's. She responds by pressing hers harder against yours and pulling away until there's a line of saliva connecting between your lips.
The kiss then turns into a full out make out session. Jinx's hands clutch tightly at your waist, pulling you closer while you cup her face. You feel Jinx keep tugging on you and pulling you closer, and you get the signal to shuffle around a bit and swing a leg over her thighs, now straddling her.
Now this is starting to feel super intimate. And the fact that you're is doing this with Jinx... You almost can't believe it.
But you also can't complain. Because Jinx knows exactly what she's doing; her hands sneak under the hem of your shirt and glide up the smooth skin of your back, making you involuntarily arch into her while goosebumps rise across the expanse of your back. Before gliding all the way down until her hands cup your ass and give a firm squeeze.
You let out an involuntary hum. Jinx pulls away to place a kiss onto your jaw, and quickly starts trailing her lips down your neck.
You let your eyes flutter shut. You try desperately to let herself relax, for you can still feel the tension in your body and you're sure Jinx can sense it too when she pulls her face away and peers up at you with a quizzical look.
"You needa relax, toots. 'Course, I can help ya with that." She starts moving you over sideways, making you momentarily confused before coming to the realization that she's trying to lay you guys down. Oh gosh.
Jinx pushes you down onto your back and maneuvers herself between your legs, her hand reaching down to wrap one around her waist. She leans down and places a deep passionate kiss onto your lips, nearly knocking the air out of you.
"Breath." Jinx murmurs and places her lips back onto your neck, right below your ear. And that sends a bolt of arousal right down to your core. You take Jinx's advice and take a deep breath, then exhale into the air that has become increasingly hotter in the tiny space.
Your hand reaches up to rest in Jinx's hair, lightly tugging on the blue strands, pulling a hum out of her. Her low voice so close to your ear uprises the sensation that your whole body is tingling and vibrating. You're only just getting started and you've already began to turn into putty under the girl's touch.
Dark marks have began to form on the supple skin of your neck thanks to Jinx. It stings just a tad, but you don't have much time to think about that because Jinx is tenderly kissing your cheek and then your lips again. However This time much more greedy than before, teeth clashing and saliva smearing over your mouths and chins.
Jinx moans softly into your mouth as she gets intoxicated by your scent, letting her hands roam your body. "Fuck, your perfume, it tastes nice." Jinx mumbles, biting your bottom lip. That makes you chuckle, "It 'tastes nice'? I reckon if you were to taste perfume it would taste pretty bad."
"Yeah well, it actually tastes pretty good." She pulls you back into a kiss, slipping her tongue into your mouth. "You taste so sweet..." She mumbles softly into the kiss.
She rests her forehead against yours for a short moment. Then pulls back and flitters her eyes across your face, taking in every feature and detail. Her hand starts to travel down your side slowly, testing the waters. Nimble fingers dance over the inside of your upper thigh; your hands fist at the back of her shirt in growing anticipation.
And finally, Jinx's fingers touch the place you had been wanting her to so badly. She presses against your clothed clit earning a short moan from you. She gives the most sexiest smile and moves downward, places a kiss below your bellybutton, then starts pulling down your skirt and panties.
You lift your hips to help, and once they're slid passed your ankles and tossed somewhere at the front seats she wastes no time kissing down your thighs.
Jinx hooks your legs over her shoulders and you hold your breath. The closer she gets the stronger the throbbing ache grows. Your eyes stay trained on her, who looks up at you for a faction of a second before licking a stripe up your folds.
There is no holding back your gasp. You're not sure what you were expecting. It felt warm and wet, but.. soft? "You taste sweet, who woulda thought?" Jinx rasps. You resist the urge to roll your eyes. You forget what she even said though once her tongue splays against your flowery folds again.
Jinx's tongue feels so good against you, working you up as she swirls her tongue around your clit. Forcing your hand to shoot down and bury in her blue hair.
Jinx peers up at you for a moment, checking in to see how your taking it, and she smirks when she sees your head thrown back and your plump lips parted as you let out huffs and soft whimpers.
This feels way better than masturbating. You assume it must be because someone else is doing it for you; you can't predict what Jinx will do next or when she'll change the pace. Or when she'll twist and hook her fingers just the right way to hit that sweet spot inside of you.
That almost makes you jolt out of your skin. That was very unexpected... then you think that maybe it actually was. You don't complain though. Not when the added sensation has you tingling from the souls of your feet to the top of your head. By this point you've pretty much stopped caring about who is actually fucking you right now.
"Oh fuck~ right there." Your hand fists in her hair, the other moving around to anchor onto anything in reach. Jinx hums into your wetness, sending the vibrations tumbling through you and bubbling your brain. She pulls away for a moment, using just her fingers to please you as she praises. "You're doing so well, babe."
That makes your skin flush and the sweat that you've been ignoring before, forms as a thin sticky sheen over your body. Your hips move with her fingers, chasing your high that has begun to form as a coil deep in your abdomen.
Your thighs tighten around Jinx's head. Even though she loves to be smothered by a girl, right now she wants all the room and access she can get. You whine when her fingers leave you to spread your legs wider again, making you lose the delicious friction you were getting. Jinx chuckles. "Patience baby, I'll get you there."
Instead of going back inside, Jinx decides to play with your clit instead. Her thumb rubs circles over the sensitive nub, perfectly lubricated by her saliva and your juices. You sigh. "F-faster please. Feels s'good." Your words are slurred, mind hazy as the pleasure pools in your core. But you need more.
And that's what Jinx gives you. As if reading your mind, she plunges back inside of you without warning and curls her fingers, causing a lewd squelch to emit from your pussy. "Oh fuck, right there! Please don't stop!"
You beg and cry, tears forming in your eyes, both hands now on Jinx's head as you push her face deeper against you. You can hardly catch your breath with the way Jinx is making you feel. Your legs are quivering and starting to feel boneless, Jinx has to hold them up a bit when they start to give out. Not that that would've been much of a problem anyway. The feeling of her strong hands gripping firmly onto your hip and thigh only fuels the coil that is so close to snapping.
"C'mon Y/n, you can do it." She mutters into your pussy, puffy folds spread wide for her as her glazed eyes go back and forth between her fingers drilling into you, and the way your head lawls back as you tremble beneath her. She could watch you for days and never get bored. You look absolutely stunning to her.
Your pathetic attempts at holding back your loud moans are pointless now. Jinx’s words have you teetering over the edge, encouraging you. The blue haired girl’s tongue dances over your clit again, and that action is what finally gets the job done. The coil low in your stomach snaps, and all you see for a few seconds is white.
You’re not even aware of how loud you get. You just know that nothing has ever felt this good in your life. It’s almost otherworldly. Your mind and body in pure bliss as Jinx fucks you through your orgasm, gummy walls pulsating around her fingers. Her mouth slurping up every drop of your sweet juices.
As you come down from your high she’s still tonging at you, cleaning you up before pulling away and placing a kiss to your inner thigh. She places a few more up your belly before she’s hovering above you again, and you now have a full view of her face.
It’s slightly comical, you can’t help but giggle when you push some of her hair away behind her ears. She’s about to kiss you when she notices and frowns.
“You got some stuff on your face.” Her cheeks, nose and chin look like they just got splashed with water. “Ah.” Jinx smiles and wipes her face with the back of her hand. Then finally she kisses you. You can taste yourself on her lips, and it’s kinda odd… Oddly arousing.
Your arms wrap around her neck, feeling yourself melt into the kiss. You want to feel her closer, resting against you. Not in a sexual way, but simply just to feel her. Damn, does this usually happen after sex?
Jinx hums and pulls away, her thumb idly rubbing circles on your side. “You took it better than I expected.” Hah, there’s the Jinx you know. You pout at her teasing smirk. “Do we really need to start something right now?”
Jinx’s low raspy laugh thrums through you when she sits up and pulls you with her. She helps you seek out your clothes, checks in on you when you when you guys get ready to leave, and the drive back to your house (which will actually be the end of your street), is comfortingly quiet.
The car pulls over to the side of the road. While you gather your things Jinx clears her throat. “All jokes aside I had fun toots.” You turn your head to look at her. She’s staring at you with a hint of a smile, her blue eyes softer than you’ve ever seen them before. You return the smile with a small nod.
“I did too.” You open the door and step out, waving at her before shutting it. You see her wave back before driving off down the street until she’s out of sight.
While you slowly walk down the sidewalk back home, you realize that this has probably changed things. You like to believe for the better.
But holy shit, you just slept with Jinx.
219 notes · View notes
j2hoes · 7 months ago
Text
Hopes And Fears Part Three. (Wally Clark x Reader)
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Summary: Y/N’s death is traumatic. So traumatic in fact, she can’t even look at Wally without reliving what happened to her.
Word Count: 2.4k
Gif Not Mine. Requests Are Open!
Warnings: Mature Language
I’ve grown fond of the early mornings whilst stuck at Split River. The first glimpse of the sun shining over the gardens, a warm hue welcoming the day. With no students roaming the halls, all I hear is the quiet sounds of nature. On the odd occasion, I’m even able to spot a rabbit or deer, grazing gently on the acres of freshly trimmed fields surrounding the school buildings.
It’s become a habit of mine, each morning I find myself lounging besides the flowerbeds. Allowing myself to feel each blade of grass that delicately brushes my skin. For a while, I forget that I’m no longer alive. I can simply exist.
It’s not uncommon for Wally to join me. Sprawled on his back, gazing up at the clouds. Pointing out different shapes and imagining different backstories for all of the cloud animals he sees. Besides that, neither of us speak much. Only enjoying one another’s company as we relax in the morning light.
Spending this time has given me the opportunity to process everything. Wally helps me to work through my emotions and thoughts. Nothing ever being too much for him to listen to, though I’m still afraid to divulge everything. I’m sure he can sense that I’m holding back, yet he doesn’t pry. Content to just listen. In all honestly, I truly believe that these moments with Wally have helped me more so than Mr Martin’s support group has. Despite attending every session since my memorial, I consistently leave the group feeling unfulfilled. Unsatisfied. In fact, it doesn’t seem as though the teacher wants us to discuss the past, our lives and our deaths. Only wanting us to focus on the present, the state we are confined to. I find myself struggling with this a lot.
“What do you think you would be doing if you hadn’t died?”
Pushing myself up on my elbows, I look over to Wally, who is resting on his stomach, absentmindedly plucking grass from the ground.
“I was supposed to go to college, play football. Hopefully make it pro, that’s what the plan was anyway.” He tells me, full of confidence yet his tone of voice suggests that’s not the pathway he would’ve chosen for himself.
“What about like outside of a job though?” I pry, the boy has my curiosity heightened. “Like, surely you have other things that you wanted to do?”
His eyes focus in on the pieces of grass that he’s now twisting together in a makeshift sort of chain. Deep in thought, I can see the cogs working in his brain as he tries to think of an answer for me. I’m sure it’s not something he’s necessarily thought of before, following the path that his mom set out for him upon birth.
“You’re gonna laugh, but I always wanted to get married and have a family. I know that times have changed and you lot don’t really believe in marriage and stuff that much anymore but I’m a family guy. Always have been.” He admits, finally looking at me and I see the honesty written across his face. “It just sucks that I’ll never actually get to experience it.”
My heart aches for him. One fatal accident and his entire future was stripped away. Never getting to experience the things he always dreamed of. It breaks heart, knowing what he could have had.
“Wally, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s no big deal, really, I’ve spent the last few decades accepting my fate and it’s not so bad here.” He tells me, a sadness shining in the brown of his eyes, trying his best to cover it up with a soft smile. “What about you? Other than taking over the world with your best friend, what was the plan?”
Giggling slightly as he references Abby’s speech, I start to wonder what my life would’ve looked like. Truthfully, I have no idea. My life revolved around dancing and cheer, other than that I have no clue as to who I am. Up until my death, I didn’t believe I was worthy of love, the one chance I took was with Spencer and look how that turned out.
“I suppose I wanted to leave Split River, Abby wanted to go to New York so I figured I would study there.” I reply, knowing New York was never my dream. I just couldn’t bare to part with her once high school ended. “It would be quite nice to live on a farm. Out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by animals, I think that would’ve been my dream.”
“Now this makes sense.”
Crossing my legs underneath me to sit up properly, he’s unable to hide the bright smile on his face. Clearly finding some amusement in what I said.
“What makes sense?” I ask, to which he laughs quietly. Pulling a clump of grass out of the ground, I launch it in his direction. “Hey, you dickhead, I didn’t laugh at you, so you can’t laugh at me.”
“No, no. I’m not laughing at you.” Wally speaks through chuckles, rolling on to his back. “It just makes sense now why you like to sit out here.”
His arms are thrown across his face, shielding his eyes from the sun. I can’t help but stare as his muscles flex, admiring the sight in front of me. Following his body, I find myself biting the inside of my cheek as I notice his top has risen up his stomach ever so slightly. Highlighting the small trail of hair that dips below his shorts.
“Did you have a girlfriend?” I blurt out, before I even realise what I’m saying.
Slapping my hand across my mouth, embarrassment floods my body, eyes wide as Wally smiles. Eyebrows raised as he looks over to me. Sly smile making its way on to his face.
“No. No girlfriend. Why?”
“I was just wondering. I mean, star high school quarterback, you must have had girls queuing up for your attention.” I’m able to stop myself before I begin a long-winded rant. Helping to ease at least a tiny amount of my embarrassment.
Wally rolls his eyes at my comment. “Well in that case you must’ve had boys queuing up for your attention. What with being head cheerleader and all.”
“Ha ha. Okay, I know it was a stupid question.”
Fortunately for me, I’m saved from making a fool out of myself even more by the sounds of cars entering the parking lot. In unison, we both turn to face the sound. Observing the students that have started to filter into the building, chatting loudly amongst one another as they do so.
My vision locks in on Spencer and his gang of hooligans. They’re jumping all over one another without a care in the world as they make their way into the school. Trail of awestruck girls following behind in the hopes of garnering the smallest amount of attention from one of the jocks.
If only I was able to tell them what they’re really like. Perhaps they wouldn’t make the same mistake that I made. Perhaps I’d be able to save them from the same fate that I suffered.
“So I was thinking we could have a pool day. I think Charlie would be up for it, maybe not Rhonda, but it could be fun for us all just to chill out. You haven’t really spent much time with anyone else apart from in our sessions with Mr Martin.”
Wally’s words echo around my head though I’m not paying any attention. Despite, no longer being able to see the group that I was fixated on, I’m still closely watching the area that they had just previously been walking through.
Two weeks later and Spencer and his friends still evade justice. Police presence at the school has increased drastically with crime scene investigators cornering off the old toilet block. Maybe I’m impatient, but it feels like they’re getting away with it. Receiving no consequences for their heinous actions.
“Y/N, are you listening?”
Wally’s words finally drag me out of my thoughts and I meet his eyes. “Yeah, pool day, sounds good.”
“And we’re inviting Charlie and Rhonda.” He states, eyebrows raised as he knows I wasn’t truly paying attention to a word he said.
“Oh, no. They’re nice but can we just do it alone? I’m not sure I feel up to doing a whole group thing.”
Wally nods, though his eyes narrow. Sensing there’s something off with me. He’s good at noticing whenever my demeanour changes, or whenever something is bothering me. It’s part of his nature.
“Yeah of course. We should probably head to group first though.” The athlete pushes himself off the floor as he speaks, waiting for me to stand as well which I reluctantly do, not before releasing an annoyed groan. “You know, one of these days, you might actually enjoy the sessions.”
Rolling my eyes, I follow Wally towards the gym. He holds the doors open for me as we enter the building, his small act of chivalry makes me giddy. I make no effort to show this however, politely thanking the boy as I walk through.
“Ah here they are! Took you two long enough.” Charlie jokes as we enter the gym, taking our seats. I sit between Dawn and Rhonda with Wally seating himself between Charlie and Mr Martin.
“No guesses what they’ve been up to.” Rhonda comments, lollipop hanging out the side of her mouth as she does so.
“Thank you Rhonda.” Mr Martin chimes in, stopping the conversation from escalating any further. “So today, I figured we would get to know our newest member. Y/N you’ve been here for a couple of weeks now and we still don’t know too much about you.”
“I’m sure Wally could tell us all about her.” Rhonda remarks under her breath. So quiet, I almost don’t catch it.
“I’m sorry, is there something you want to say?” I snap, my tone harsh and confronting.
She laughs in response, the annoyance on my face evident as I glare at her. Her snarky and sarcastic nature hasn’t proven to be a problem for me, though I think that may be about to change.
“Y/N, tell us about your death. We’re all dying to know what happened. No pun intended.” The teacher interjects, attempting to diffuse the tense situation yet I still feel on edge.
“No thank you.”
“Oh come on Y/N, none of us are going to judge you. You know that.” Charlie tells me, offering me a reassuring smile.
“No, she’d rather just listen to all our trauma. Isn’t that right cherry pop?”
Rhonda’s words strike a chord within me. I’ll admit, the other ghosts have been very open about their deaths with me. All discussing in detail what happened to them to result in this fate. Sure, I haven’t divulged into the details of my death as of yet, but it’s for good reason. Not only am I still trying to process it myself but I don’t want them to look at me any differently nor do I want them to take pity on me when they learn the details.
“Do you have a problem with me or something Rhonda?” I ask, swinging around in my chair so that I can face her directly.
Upon doing so, I take note of how Charlie and Wally are quick to sit up straight. Feeling the anger radiating off me and awaiting any possible confrontation that may be about to occur.
“As a matter of fact, I do.” The girl retorts, crossing her arms over her chest before she continues speaking. “You waltz in here and make no effort with any of us besides Wally. Who, let’s not forget, you made to feel like a piece of shit on your first day after that unreasonable outburst. You listen to all of us recounting our deaths, the most traumatic things that could’ve happened to us and still none of us know what happened to you. It hardly seems fair.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry Rhonda. I’m sorry that i’m still processing what happened to me. I’m sorry that I’m not ready to discuss it with a group of strangers. I am so sorry that I’m not getting over everything as quick as you would like me to.”
My voice is raised as I speak, hurt that she would even think that my choice not to share what happened is a personal attack on the group. No matter how hurt I’m feeling, the anger completely outweighs it. Angry that she can’t see that I’m still struggling and angry that my murderers are still attending this school. Instead of being locked behind bars for the rest of their life, like they deserve to be. Nobody can understand what I am going through and that makes me so astonishingly angry.
“Boo hoo. You’re still processing, we’re all still processing. Not to mention the fact that we’ve barely seen Wally these past couple of weeks because he’s been trailing around after you, trying to make you feel less threatened by him. He’s even taken off that stupid football shirt that he loved so much! I hate to break it to you, but he was here first.” She argues, tears well in my eyes as she mentions Wally. I lock eyes with him and see his downcast expression. Was she right? Was he only spending this time with me to make me feel better and less scared? “You should do everybody a favour and fuck off back to the old toilet block where you came from.”
“Rhonda!” Charlie exclaims, clearly shocked by her words.
“Is that how you really feel Wally?” I ask hesitantly, the dejection evident in my voice.
He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. Nodding slightly, I understand completely. Pushing myself out of the chair, nobody speaks as I make my exit from the room.
“Lovely chat.” Rhonda shouts, one last attempt to get a reaction from me. Even as I shove open the doors with an obnoxious slam, I don’t look back.
The entirety of my body feels heavy as I drag myself down the hallways. Nobody comes after me, not even Wally. I feel truly alone, hurt and confused. Death was supposed to be peaceful and yet here I am. Suffering more than I ever did when alive.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
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pacifymebby · 1 year ago
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What would each peaky boy be like with a wife who owns a bakery, one who pops round to meetings with fresh cakes and treats and stuff
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This is a really cute request and really feeds my dream of having a bakery one day
Tommy
🌿 your bakery is quite small and easy to miss but once Tommy knows it's there tucked down a side street, pretty much just a hatch in the wall, he never goes a day without visiting
🌿 Always, no matter how busy he is, will take the time to stop by even if only for a second or two to say hello and pick up something to eat. You think he must really love your baking and he does think your breads the best he's ever had however, that's not the reason he stops by every day.
🌿 You'd joke about how he's going to eat you out of heart and home if he carries on like this and he'd very simply say, "Marry me love, then I won't have to will I..." Of course he's only teasing but the blush it paints on your cheeks is priceless and well, he does often wonder what it would be like to marry you.. no harm in putting the idea in your head.
🌿 He says the same thing every time you tease him for stopping by, which you do at least three times a week. It isn't that you're ungrateful for the business it's that you don't understand how a man as busy as Tommy Shelby has time to visit your little bakery every day and you don't understand why he'd want to.
🌿 this little routine, you teasing him, him making that joke, you blushing and going shy, carries on for months and months, it drags on so long that all your friends are certain he's not really joking, that perhaps Birmingham's most infamous has taken a liking to more than just your bread.
🌿 One day when he says it you smile, "if you keep saying that Mr Shelby one day I might just take you seriously..." And he pauses, mouth caught in a half smile, hands in his pockets as causal as you like he looks you up and down to work out whether you're teasing him. "And what would you say if you did?"
🌿 When you're married he'd help you set up a bigger bakery, hires you staff to help you run it, but you always keep your little shop too because that hatch in the wall holds a special place in both your hearts.
🌿 Whenever you think up a new recipe or you're experimenting with new flavours Tommy makes sure to be interested in what you're doing, listening to you when you tell him about your troubles "Thing is I don't know if it's salt I need, to bring out the sweetness, or if I'm just not using enough sugar and then there's the trouble with the Cherry jam it's too... Too..." "Jammy?" He'd tease, "wait no, too cherry flavoured eh, that it love?"
🌿 will be the first to try anything new recipe you've baked and will always give you an honest answer, unless somethings truly awful, then he won't tell you quite how bad it is because he doesn't want to break your heart.
🌿 He will try anything and everything you put in front of him but he has to admit his favourites are the more savoury treats you bake, anything with cheese is an instant hit with Tommy and sometimes, when he's had one of those weeks where he's stressed out, hardly eating at all, living off coffee whiskey and cigarettes, one of your cheese buns is the only thing that can tempt him to take his spectacles off for a moment, come out of his head and back down to earth, back to you.
🌿 Whenever there's a family meeting you always want to use it to get opinions on your baking so any new recipes are prepared specially for the family and you get in a real huff if anyone refuses to try your food... And Tommy always warns them in advance, threatening his brothers to "be fuckin nice yeah, try the cakes, be fuckin nice eh?"
🌿 Sometimes he brings Charlie into the bakery to see you and when you can tell that Tommy's particularly stressed you offer to take care of the young boy. He enjoys baking with you, making a mess with all the flour and sugar. He's your number one taste tester and every time he's in you get him to pick his favourite so that you can advertise whichever items he recommends as "recommended by little Charlie Shelby"
🌿 It sort of turns you into a bit of s matriarch within the family. Whenever anyone's having a party, whenever there's a birthday to prepare for, you're always kept busy baking cakes and sweet treats for the whole family. And when Charlie tells his cousins about the fun he has at the bakery they all want a turn decorating cakes and iced buns with you...
🌿 Tommy definitely falls in love with you a little more every time he drops into your little bakery in the late afternoon to pick his son up, to come face to face with your flour dusted features and your bright smile, watching you suck a little icing from your fingertip to test the sweetness.
🌿 He will almost always catch your hip in his hand, look down at you with longing in his eyes and murmur something sweet like "give us a try of that eh love..." sucking the icing straight from your pinky.
Alfie
🐻 Alfie has been coming to your bakery for a very long time, he remembers when your mother used to run things, remembers her Challah recipe by heart.
🐻 He would often turn up early in the morning before you were open, let himself in anyway and lean, white sleeves pushed up to the elbows against the counter waiting for you to turn up. "Thought you might fancy a little company this mornin miss y/l/n..." The first time he shows you're shocked and you can't hide it. You know he's infamous, a violent criminal who promises nothing but trouble... but you also know he's the baker of Camden town and that your mother was always quite fond of him...
🐻 So you can't turn him down. Not that anyone in their right mind would turn Alfie Solomons down...
🐻 You spend lots of time baking together in that kitchen, it's Alfie's favourite place to be, holed up cosy amid the yeasty smell of baking bread and the sweet scent of fresh pastries. He enjoys your company, enjoys getting close to you, using excuses such as "y'see ziskeit your problem yeahs, that you ain't leanin into it enough, you've gotta kneed with your whole body right, like this..." standing behind you, arms around your waist, kneeding the dough for you with you trapped between him and the counter watching him work.
🐻 You also have lots of little tiffs in the kitchen, him winding you up by putting things away in the wrong places or reorganising cupboards and shelves so that you don't know where any of your belongings are. Him getting tetchy with you when you insist you know a better recipe for something than he does.
🐻 However despite your tiffs Alfie never lets you talk yourself down... Whenever you have a new idea he's always quick to tell you you're a genius. Always calling you the cleverest girl in Camden town, always dramatically complimenting you. Even if something goes wrong, even if a cake isn't perfect or the bread you've baked doesn't quite rise properly he will hush any of your complaints with one finger to your lips, that contemplative frown on his brow
🐻 "Now just you mind what you're about to say yeah my little ziskeit, just you be very careful what words come out that pretty little mouth of yours next yeah because I've got somethin to say right... I've got something to say... This here yeah, it's bread right but... It don't feel right just calling it bread yeah, cause this here ain't any old bread, this bread right it's a fuckin work of art my little ziskeit, this bread right, it's a masterpiece, one of them modern wonders of the fuckin world right... So just you think very carefully yeah about what you're about to say..."
🐻 "Cause I won't put up with no bread slander today right, I've made up my mind and I just won't tolerate it..."
🐻 You teaching him how to delicately decorate cakes and pastries with ornate little designs. Him getting frustrated because his hands are too big and his fingers are a little too clumsy to master the finer details. You hugging him, kissing his cheek when you reassure him that his gingerbread men aren't "fackin elephant man ugly"
🐻 Your flower stained blush mirroring his flower stained blush when you both realise what you've just done.
🐻 When he's busy working all he wants is a visit from you and he always hopes you'll come down with something from the bakery. He literally sits there in his office pining for you and your "delights" as he calls them, and sometimes when you're late or you can't visit he sits there getting more and more grumpy, poor Ollie has to try and lighten the mood but just gets grumbled at.
🐻 And when you do come to visit Alfie at work he gets jealous when you bring stuff for the workers too and he chides you for "spoiling" them. He only does this because he loves the cheeky smile you give him as you sit down in his lap and offer him something sweet to try, "Don't worry Alfie I didn't forget about you..."
🐻 When he flees to Margate you open a bakery together on the seafront, he tends to hide away in the kitchen getting jealous when local boys come in and flirt with you, occasionally when he's feeling particularly protective he'll come out to spook them.
🐻 but for the most part that little bakery on the sea front is your own little slice of heaven, back in London he'd fed you the idea whenever you were getting worried about him and his business. Whenever you started to fear he was in too deep, making too much trouble for himself.
🐻 And now he's finally made good on that promise to you. It's just you, him and Cyril living a peaceful life together in Margate. The smell of freshly baked bread in the mornings, spending evenings together preparing the dough for the next day's batches.
🐻 You've definitely thrown a handful of flower at him multiple times, definitely "pied" him at least once for being a grumpy old martyr.
🐻 He's definitely given you that look, beckoned you over and instructed you to "clean up your mess now ziskeit, reckon you've had your fun with the fuckin creme patissiere..."
🐻 Scoops up said creme patissiere with his two fingers and feeds it to you, won't smile until your lips are closed round his fingers, your eyes locked with his.
Arthur
🍂 Sorry Arthur bby but...
🍂 I feel like he's a really messy eater, like he chews really gross and definitely talks with his mouth full... Crumbs everywhere, always spilling cream or jam down his shirt...
🍂 Which means you have to instruct him on how to eat your cakes and usually clean him up afterwards too. You have to break a piece of cake off for him and place some in his mouth giving him instructions "right close and chew..."
🍂 But no sooner has he closed his mouth and begun to chew is he forgetting himself again, opening his mouth to tell you how fucking lovely it is and you'd have to hush him up.
🍂 "Fuck me darlin this is fuckin delicious, fuckin heavenly..." he starts getting crumbs everywhere, you're watching exasperated but endeared all the same as he gets crumbs all over the floor and himself. You know there's nothing you can do about this.
🍂 You can't help laugh at him, he's so daft sometimes, doesn't seem to have any idea how funny he looks... But you get a cloth and wipe the cream from his mustache, giggling at him, him chuckling along too when he realises what he's done.
🍂 "Sorry love I can't help it, they taste so good I forget me manners..." "Excuses, excuses.." you tut only teasing him. He actually blushes.
🍂 Arthur loves your baking so much that whenever there's a family meeting he all but insists you bring sweet treats along for everyone.
🍂 "Please darlin I'm beggin you, how are we gonna survive Tommy's fuckin speeches without somethin to eat... He'll have us in there all night with nothin to eat... We'll starve if you don't bring us somethin sweet to eat..." he's so dramatic but you always comply, just rolling your eyes and teasing him. "God Arthur anyone would think you haven't just eaten five of these..." You grin packing tins full of pastries to take with you...
🍂 But he can't help it, he loves your baking and he loves you, thinks the sun shines out of you and your gifted hands so he wants to show off his talented girl and her delicious creations... Upon arriving he will very loudly announce that everyone needs to "fuckin shut up and listen to my Y/N cause she's brought everyone some new cakes to try and they're fuckin delicious..."
🍂 He'll make everyone try one, even Tommy and he'll glare at his brother until he says something nice about your baking.
🍂 "We're fuckin blessed right, to have such a fuckin talented baker in the family..."
🍂 You try to teach him to bake but honestly, he's clumsy, he makes a mess, he can't concentrate on the recipe because he's standing close to you and instead of having his hands in the mixing bowl he just keeps trying to grab you and hug you, can't keep his hands or his lips off you for long enough to get through even the most simple of cookie recipes.
🍂 Honestly if ever you've got something important to bake, a wedding or birthday cake, new stock for the shop you have to lock him out of the kitchen until you're done because he's too much of a distraction.
🍂 You have the fear whenever you're working on something delicate, you have to put signs on the doors reminding Arthur not to slam the doors when he comes home. When you hear him coming you brace yourself, hovering round your delicate creation, wincing when he forgets about not slamming the door.
🍂 "Arthur please my love!" "I know I know I'm sorry sweetheart I'll be careful" he says hands in the air all surrender and sweet, making an effort to tip toe and be careful, forgetting three seconds later much to your despair.
John
🌼 John gives me low-key earth sign vibes, not sun sign earth sign vibes but something else, like a moon perhaps? Anyway my point with that is that John definitely has a love of home comforts, mundane, little luxuries... He likes being spoiled with sweet treats. Likes coming home to find you baking with the little ones.
🌼 I mean he really loves it... There's nothing better than finishing a long day at the betting shop surrounded by drunk, rowdy men, to stop by the bakery on his way home only to find one of his children behind the counter, standing on a stool to help you serve customers. He can hear his other kids giggling in the kitchen and he practically jumps over the counter in excitement to see them and all the mischief they're getting up to whilst your backs turned.
🌼 Him asking for one of your finest cakes, and then when Katy holds her hand out to take his money he grins and says "Well y'see kitty my little love, I spent my last penny on flowers for your mammy so Daddy was hoping he could pay with a kiss eh?"
🌼 When she agrees she's very cheeky, she sighs dramatically and says "fine but just this once..." and when he scoops her up and kisses her cheek about to take the cake from her hand she holds it back and says "one more for mammy."
🌼 So he slips behind the counter and slinks his arm around your waist pulling you away from your work to give you a very dragged out, much needed kiss. The kind he really shouldn't be giving you in front of the customers... Not when there's a queue.
🌼 You shoo him away so that you can get back to work telling him to go and sort his little hellraisers out in the kitchen.
🌼 But John doesn't want you to "get back to work" and so once he's rounded the terrors up and helped them clean up their mess in the kitchen he's right back ar your side, gruffly announcing to the line of customers that the bakeries closed and it's time to go home. Each and every one of your attempts at protest is silenced with a kiss and when you open your mouth to argue with him about it again he takes one of the cakes from the counter and puts it in your mouth to silence you so that in your shock there's nothing for you to do but take a bite, chew and cover your mouth to hide your messy giggle.
🌼 "Can't bloody believe you John Shelby! You're a bloody n..." "Irresistible, devilishly handsome, doting husband? I know love you don't need to tell me..." he teases taking the cake from your hands and helping himself to a bite. "Come along flower, we're all waiting for you, we wanna go home..."
🌼 And when faced with John and the wide doe eyes of all your little ones looking like angels now that dad's come and got them into shape... Well you can hardly refuse them.
🌼 Uses "Teach me how to bake love..." as a premise to get some time with you whilst you're working, his minds really not on baking though he is thinking of putting one in the oven...
🌼 At least one of your children have been conceived in that kitchen...
🌼 When you bring the children with you to family meetings so they can give everyone the cupcakes they made, John gives his brothers warning looks like "you will eat these very girly lookin cupcakes and you will tell my girls they're the best thing you've ever eaten!" he makes a big song and dance of telling everyone how amazing they taste.
🌼 Has started food fights in the kitchen with the kids. Has started food fights with his brothers at family meetings because he wasn't satisfied with Tommy's "wow Katy these are really good..."
🌼 Has definitely defused an argument with you by putting a handful of batter in your hand and instructing you to throw it at him. "C'mon flower, you're pissed off with me ain't you, fuckin throw it if you think I deserve it..." then being shocked and a little bit wounded when you actually do throw it... Arms around you immediately play wrestling with you to get his revenge.
🌼 And this usually ends up with the two of you kissing, wiping cake mix from one another's faces, closing the kitchen door so that your customers can't hear how you really resolve a fight...
🌼 Always making special requests, his favourite things you bake are your berry pies and he gets such a huff on when you inform him that you can't make anymore because the berries in question are out of season anymore. "Fuck the seasons.." gets genuinely cross he can't peaky blinder style intimidate the literal seasons.
Bonnie
🍀 It's unsurprising that Bonnie has quite the appetite considering a) he's a growing lad, and b) he's a boxer, always training, always exhausting himself in the ring...
🍀And yet once he finds your bakery, he's never too tired to stop in after a long day training, and you can't deny you don't look forward to seeing that oh so slightly mischievous smile every evening... so much so that sometimes you stay open just waiting for him to drop by.
🍀 He's always very sweet to you, always leans on the counter chatting away to you whilst he eats the sweet buns you save especially for him... It takes him a little while to realise that's what you're doing but when he works it out, that you hold treats back for him and you even stay open a little later waiting just for him he becomes a butterfly filled mess. Feels really proud, starts cheekily calling you things like "my favourite girl"
🍀then he starts stopping in early too, gets up at the crack of dawn just so he can drop by your bakery on his way to the boxing gym. He uses the excuse that he's hungry, that he needs to fuel himself up for the day but really it's because he wants to see more of you. Wants to get you alone.
🍀He joins you in the kitchen, sometimes helping you out, sometimes just sitting on the counter admiring you whilst you work, being a pest getting his fingers in the jam, pinching the strawberries you've carefully halved to top your pastries.
🍀 You're constantly swatting his hands away and threatening to kick him out but by now you both know you never will. That little crush you thought you might have on the young boxer has flourished and you wake up every morning looking forward to seeing him. In the hours between him leaving in the morning and returning to you after training your little bakery feels so empty and lonely without him.
🍀When he pinches some cherries from the top of one of your pies you gasp in frustration about to give him a scolding but when he sees you, your cheeks flushed that glow of annoyance in your eyes he can't help chuckling at you, telling you he's sorry, saying "c'mere dove, I'll share..." youre about to refuse when you catch the pining look in his eyes, the way he looks at you with such a quiet pining... it lights sparks inside you, leaves your heart racing, makes you feel very forgiving.
🍀So you give in and roll your eyes, say fine, come on share then... and though you expect him to place a cherry in your palm instead he plucks one from the stem and pushes it to your lips, watching you breathlessly as you take it in your mouth and sink your teeth into it. A little juice escapes your mouth and stains your lips and the corner of your mouth deep, sweet red.
🍀And he leans in without even thinking about it, kisses the corner of your mouth to catch the juice before it can trickle further and make a mess of your pretty face.
🍀You don't get much baking done after that and the cherry pie youd been labouring over is left forgotten about on the side whilst you and Bonnie get thoroughly lost in eachother.
🍀From then on Bonnie stops in on you twice a day every day, he walks you to and from the bakery morning and night and quite often makes up excuses to bring you back to the caravans at night. The first time you meet his family you're so nervous, wanting to impress them, the way Bonnie's been spending all his time outside the gym "elsewhere" people have begun to talk and so everyone is curious to meet the girl who has stolen his heart.
🍀You bake plenty of delicious buns and breads to gift them trying to make a good first impression and Bonnie is insistent that you really shouldn't have done, that they'll love you regardless of whether you bribe them with food, but secretly he just wants to keep you and your baked goods all to himself. "If everyone knows how good these are they'll all be coming here and then there'll be none left for me!" He says taking another bite from his second cinnamon bun of the afternoon.
🍀He stops talking however when you catch the stray icing hes got on his cheek and suck it off your finger, "Don't be daft Bonnie, I'll always save enough for you."
🍀He goes foraging for berries and fruits, always bringing you wild herbs he's picked that he thinks you'll be able to do something good with, sprigs of lavender and such to weave into your more intricate designs. His favourite thing however is to convince you to close up shop for the day and go foraging with him, taking you out into the country on the back of his pony, showing you all the best places to find your favourite herbs and flowers.
🍀 Pulling you down into the long grass beneath the trees, cradling you in his lap after a long walk, smothering you in kisses and affection.
Isaiah
🐀 Being the quiet, earthy homebody that you are you're not exactly Isaiah's type. He wouldn't even have met you had it not been for Michael dragging him out to your bakery one morning, insisting that you bake the best pastries in town.
🐀 And at first Isaiah is cynical, "fuckin pastries for breakfast are you soft lad, you eat fuckin pastries for breakfast... Them toffs who raised you really mess with your head didn't..." he's still taking the piss out of Michael when they walk into your bakery but one look at you steals the end of his sentence straight from his lips.
🐀 Because even with a light dusting of flour over your nose, your cheeks rosy from the heat of the oven, stray hairs escaping your pretty little hair scarf, he thinks youre the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on and suddenly he's swallowing all his snide remarks.
🐀 and suddenly he's a little embarrassed, a little uncertain of himself because he's realised he's out of his depth when he wants to charm you. You're so different from the other girls in his life that he just doesn't know what to say to you.
🐀 "Would you like to try something sir?" You ask, your softness literally melting Isaiah. Michael is just sniggering a little smug because he'd known this would happen all along. This was his plan all along.
🐀 And then Isaiah realises that if he plays up to being clueless you will give him all the attention he desires offering for him to try different things, explaining what each item is...
🐀 You're surprised when Isaiah comes back the next day without Michael, you honestly weren't expecting to ever see him again.. it was clear to you that the bars and clubs were more his scene, that he'd choose whiskey and dancing over tea and cake anyday... But clearly Isaiah has his heart on the best of both worlds, he goes out at night with the peaky lads, raises hell and then visits you to see the soothing sight of your angel face every morning.
🐀 His curiosity impresses you though and every morning you pick something out special for him to try... You've heard what he gets up to on his Saturday nights and on Sunday morning you make sure you've got just the right cure for his sore head and jaded eyes.
🐀 Then one morning he doesn't show and you begin to worry about him, when Michael drops by you ask after his friend and though at first Michael laughs, giddy with mischievous excitement when he realises his friends been visiting the sweet little baker every morning... Then however he tells you Isaiah's in the hospital, got caught up in some unpleasant business. He doesn't tell you it's Peaky Blinders business but you know what he means...
Michael
🐀 And you're horrified to learn that the charming Peaky boy you'd grown rather fond of is hurt, so you beg Michael to take you to see Isaiah in the hospital. Michael genuinely can't hide his amusement as you busy yourself making up a basket of sweet and savoury treats for Isaiah, he's just watching you fuss over the hardened peaky lad, can't wait to rip the piss out of his friend who's clearly got an admirer.
🐀 And when you turn up at the hospital placing the basket down at Isaiah's bedside he's shocked... A little embarrassed at the way his attachment to you has been revealed so dramatically. But he's also touched, also beginning to realise how nice it is to have some consistency, how much he loves having someone so homely and comforting to take care of him.
🐀 So he invites you to stay, tells Michael to piss off and he lets you feed him one of the sweet buns you brought him. He's being extra charming, flirting with you, teasing you for your having visited him... "Anyone would think you were me girlfriend coming here an spoilin me like this darlin..."
🐀 You're speechless, you don't know what to say to him but you get very flustered and he thinks that's adorable so he puts you out of your misery very quickly, "can't say I'd mind that me like, havin you as me girlfriend... Lookin after me when I've been through the wars..." "If you want to be my boyfriend Isaiah Jesus you'll have to stop all this scrapping... I don't want to spend every Sunday in the hospital with you..."
🐀 But of course it's not the last time Isaiah winds up in the hospital and every time he does you bring him a basket of sweet treats... It makes him rather popular with the rest of the peaky boys who start dropping in on him much more often so that they can pinch treats from that basket when he isn't looking.
🐀 He asks you to teach him how to bake but much like John he can't keep his hands off you for long enough to learn. He does have quite nimble hands though and so eventually he gets very good at plaiting bread dough with you.
🐀 He's always bragging to Michael and Bonnie about you, he'll bring something from the bakery down to the Shelby offices or the boxing gym just so that he can eat it slowly taunting them about how good it is. "Ah ah boys hands off, my girl made this one just for me..."
☘️ You're so stubborn though he realises this is an argument he's not going to win so eventually he settles for a compromise. You can keep your bakery, keep your little business as long as he can be involved somehow. So he insists on helping with your accounts and being involved in the financial side of things... which you're really rather pleased about as you've never liked running the accounts, numbers aren't your friend and you find it so dull being stuck at a desk when all you want is to be in the kitchen.
☘️ Isn't happy that his girl has a job... he should be able to provide for both of you, he earns enough to spoil you rotten and yet you still insist upon working in that bakery.
☘️ But before you met Michael that bakery was your whole life, you've worked so hard to have a bakery all of your own, to have a business that belongs to you, to be able to make a living from something you love and you're not about to give that up for Michael just because he doesn't understand how much your work means to you...
☘️ And when Michael gets involved with the bakery and you begin to work at it together to grow the business you start trying to use it as a pitch to convince him to go straight, to leave his brothers corruption behind and settle for a humble but comfortable life, a safe life with you.
☘️ Of course that never works, Michael has ideas beyond his station, he likes the luxury which comes with being a gangster, he's enamoured by the glamour and fame which comes with being a Peaky Blinder...
☘️ Instead what ends up happening is that your bakery gets dragged into the Shelby business... When the lads hear about the delicious treats you bake they start coming up with excuses to hold their business meetings in your kitchen where they have access to all the delightful treats you bake fresh from the oven. But they're all so charming and Michael never lets them get up to any trouble so you grow quote fond of having them around.
☘️ You're very dedicated to your craft and Michael gets frustrated when sometimes he feels you pay more attention to bread than to him. He will tell you he's taking you out for dinner, ask you to be ready by seven and then find that you aren't even home... When he goes to find you at the bakery youre dusted head to toe in flower, nowhere near suitably dressed up to go to some fancy restaurant.
☘️ And you always look so genuine when you gasp and apologise for having lost track of time, when you start ranting about how you were just desperately trying to perfect this recipe, that you'd tried one idea and almost set fire to the kitchen so had had to start again, then you'd tried this other idea and it was almost right but not quite and that well, you really just wanted to perfect it so that you could bring it home for him to try because you wanted it to be perfect for him...
☘️ Well he thinks you're the sweetest girl in the world and he can't stay mad at you for very long. He loves that at the end of all that you were actually thinking about him all along, trying to bake the perfect treat just for him... He loves that you wanted it to be perfect for him, it makes him feel really special.
☘️ "Ah well never mind eh love," he sighs taking your cheeks in his hands to brush the flower from your face and kiss your nose, "the corrinthian can wait eh, got everything I need right here..."
☘️ He'll even try to help you with your projects sometimes even though he really doesn't like getting his hands dirty. He'll do it for you, just as long as no one else is around to see him doing some "real work"
☘️ Loves being spoilt by you, loves that you value his opinion above everyone else's. Gets a little wounded when you want to take something to a family meeting to ask everyone to try because "my opinion not good enough for you now love?"
☘️ You always have to pacify him with a kiss and a reminder that his opinion is of course the most important.
Taglist:
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@cocoaflowers
@zablife
@jomarch-wannabe
@itsghostgirlyo
@marwwfairy
@toddlerbodybag
@everysage
@tommyshelbywhore
@kas3ylovesyou
@kxnnxy
@starrykitn
@call-sign-shark
@only-malala
@liliac-dreamer
@impossibleheartflower
@mollybegger-blog
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rose-tea-and-strawberries · 1 month ago
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Ok Ok since you listen to Epic the Musical hear me out-
What if Epic is a thing in Yuu's world? Like she's a huge fan and decided for a movie night she first introduces all the boys to it and eventually shows it to everyone at the House of Mouse,
There will be gasps, There will be tears shed, etc.
Everyone in the Hercules cast especially will be intrigued by seeing their own selves in a different light. But once they get to the thunder saga (and also gods games), Zeus is sweating bullets meanwhile hades is laughing his butt off from his brother's face,
But at the same time poor Hercules is like "....Dad???" as Meg and Yuu comfort him.
...also for the Vengeance saga everyone (NRC and HoM) especially the couples, Will def cheer after Odysseus says next to my wife.
Okay so first of all, if you want to read a fic where NRC reacts to Epic I highly recommend this because it is truly top tier:
I mean, for the past month I was thinking of a twst reacts to Epic fic (where Yuu acted in EPIC back in her world and the school/RSA reacted to it through some type of magic - it was kind of set in this universe where Yuu was a theatre actress before entering twst. I mentioned once that I had a theatre!Yuu that is friends with RSA and once played Christine Daaé back home. This is that AU) and then I just stumbled across this two days ago and my mind was literally blown! The saying that that there are no original experiences is really true!
Basically Yuu (who's female in this fic) is doing some extra credit work so she asks her friends to act in one of her favourite musicals and NRC reacts to this. Ace plays Ody and Deuce is Telemachus and Yuu plays practically every female character (I'm not going to spoil who plays the other characters). Also this has Aceyuu which is practically my OTP.
I'm also a huge fan of the Disney Princess React series where the Disney Princess, Princes and practically all the good characters from before their movies react to their future so I have been thinking of a Disney characters + Epic cast reacts to Epic fic.
Okay so according to Google, Hercules comes before the Odyssey so none of the Hercules cast would know anything about the Trojan War or Odysseus which would make this even cooler!
Hades: And you guys thought I was bad? Just look at my younger brothers!
Hercules: Dad! (īī ^ īī)
I've never watched the Hercules tv show except for that one crossover it did with Aladdin so I don't really know how the gods/goddesses are portrayed but I do know that the movie took a lot of ... creative liberty to say the least.
But can you imagine the cast of The Little Mermaid/Octavinelle reacting to Suffering/Different Beasts where the sirens come to kill the crew only to get slaughtered. Also, I have a feeling that Triton would be leaving his trident back home in the palace for the next few weeks.
But imagine every sailors' (e.g. Eric, the pirates,ka etc) reaction to Ruthlessness and the absolute carnage that follows. They'd be gripping onto the tables with white knuckles.
Hades would be having the time of his life (except for the parts where Yuu cheers for the other gods: read Hermes/Athena), especially during the Underworld saga. Like everyone would be looking at river styx in horror and he'd just be like 'ah home :)'. I bet he'd enjoy God Games as well. He'd definitely be munching on popcorn during Ody's and Athena's argument in My Goodbye.
The muses would be watching everything like WRITE THAT DOWN!
I don't think Hercules wants to talk to anyone at this moment :/
Thanks for the ask ‎♡
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stillnotyourmusebitch · 3 months ago
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not really a request, just a soft thought I had (sinner! Adam)
You and Adam are the only ones in the parlor and sitting next to each other on one of the couches. You’re reading on their phone and listening to Margaret by lana del rey, and it’s making your eyelids heavy. Adam pokes fun at your music taste but is also staring to doze off.
And then Charlie comes downstairs in a bit and finds you two sound asleep on one of the couches together, that song still playing on your phone.
thank you and good night
Okay, I love this idea. I do feel like I’ve been neglecting this fandom a lot, so let me see if I can write a little something.  
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It is a rare sight to see the lobby of the new improved Hazbin Hotel completely empty. You’d think that from a glance but if you followed the soft sounds of music, you would spy hiding away on the fancy plush couches in the parlour were two sinners. 
“Remind me again why I let you control the tunes?” Adam huffed as he fiddled with one of the loose threads of the couch 
“Because I want you to experience other music genres, and I know that you like at least some of the songs I’ve played for you. You loved that song I played the 80s synthy one.” 
“Okay that was one song. The rest you’ve played has been . . . meh.” He pulled a bit too hard on a thread making it form a smallish hole. “Oh shit.” Adam turns to try and stuff the thread back into the couch in a vain attempt to fix the mess he made. Last thing he needs was another apology letter to write and knowing Charlie he’d be writing to the couch. 
You giggle behind your hand at his frantic movements to rectify the issue. 
“Hey, don’t laugh at me bitch this is your fault!” Adam snapped over his shoulder. Every attempt to fix the hole led to enlarging it. He still hadn’t gotten used to his new demonic form. His clawed fingers snagging on the fabric “Shit shit shit.” 
You tug on his arm to pull him back enough to see the dilemma. “It ain’t that bad. Just leave it be.” You rested you hand over his stilling him. “If you want I can take the blame for you.” 
Adam turns back to face you. He quirks a brow. “What’s in it for you?” 
“Ahhh, dear Adam. Just a simple request.” 
Adam leans back on the sofa. You had the look in your eyes when you think of something truly twisted. 
Producing your phone again you say, “Driver picks the music; shotgun shuts his cakehole.” 
“But tha- . .” 
“Ah ah ah.” you shush him with a finger to his lips. “My music. You no talky.” 
He rolls his eyes. “Fyne.” he murmurs against your finger. 
You pull away patting his left cheek. “Good boy.”  
Adam resisted the urge to snap back but just sank down more into the couch cushions. He watched you type the song you wanted and set it to play. Adam wanted to say something but watching you lay down resting your head on his lap. He froze a little. 
“Is this part of the deal? Me becoming your pillow?” 
“Yes, well it is now. Plus you are just the right kind of squish.” 
“Oh now you’re calling me fa- OW! Don’t pinch me.” 
You snigger and nip his leg again with your fingers. He starts nipping your sides in retaliation.  
‘Oh this was war now.’ you thought choosing the parts of Adam that you could reach in your position. The parlour fills with yelps and giggles as you two play fight for dominance. You both wrestle until you are straddling him nipping wildly at his sides and arms 
“Say it!” you nip him again a little harder this time. “Say I don’t have bad taste in music.” you nip again making him yelp. 
“Okay you- ow you win. Your music taste is not all ba- ow okay okay you have good music taste.” He pulls you in for a hug trapping your arms to your sides. 
“Muwahahaha! I knew it. I wiii-. .” You let out a massive yawn. “amm winner.” you yawn again choosing to rest your head on his shoulder. Your body slowly relaxes against him.  
The soft music that was playing the whole time finally reaches his ears. Adam listened to the words and the whole calm vibe that it brought.  
“You know what, this song ain’t that bad. I kinda like it.” Adam waited for a smug comment in reply but when he was met with a light snoring. He smiled softly as he gently arranged your limp body in a way that you wouldn’t wake up in pain later on. He didn’t have the heart to move you off of him. You’d been complaining about severe bouts of insomnia lately this was partially the reason he was with you in the first place. He also didn’t sleep that great either. This was probably another reason he snapped so much at other residents during the mandatory exercises done each day. 
Adam rested his head back on the couch, wondering what stupid thing was planned for today. His thoughts dipping in and out as the song drifts back into his ears.  
‘Maybe it won’t be that bad.’ He shut his eyes focusing on the song and the light snoring against his neck. ‘Just gonna rest my eyes’ he thought. 
----- 
When Charlie arrived in the parlour to set up her morning exercise for the residents, she stopped in her tracks clamping her hands over her mouth to suppress the squeal of joy.  
There on one of the couches sat Adam cradling you against his chest both of you fast asleep. She then hears soft music playing, carefully she picks up the phone to see the song has been playing on repeat for who knows how long. The battery on the phone was almost dead. Placing the device back, she slowly slinks backwards and sets about warding off other residents saying today's exercise has been cancelled and everyone gets the morning off. 
-------
I didn't mean to make it so long and i kinda did a little creative adjustments to your original thought. I hope that is okay??
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henrioo · 9 months ago
Text
°•*⁀➷ TIMELESS: MONKEY D. LUFFY
꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "Many things are taken away by time, power, money, life... But pure, genuine and true love is always timeless. Surviving every hardship that may come, and Ace and Sabo could see that clearly between you and Luffy.
꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : angst! Ace death! Male reader! (Can be trans or not), Pre time skip Luffy! Alabasta arc, Dressrosa arc, SPOILERS!, gay relationship, Luffy and reader are clueless, Sabo still depressed about Ace
꒰ WC ꒱ : 2,5k
꒰ NOTES ꒱ : So this was one of stories I had finished a long time and I now I'm posting them. It's not totally angst because nothing bad happens in the Luffy and reader relationship, but still sad. Fem dni or block and enjoy :))
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Everyone quickly starts working on the tents before the terrible cold of the desert makes them freeze. You were finishing helping Nami with the girls' tent while trying to ignore Sanji cursing you for stealing his chance and calling you a pervert.
“Thank you (y/n)-kun” Nami said, satisfied with the end result while Vivi was placing the necessary items so that they would have a makeshift bed.
You just nodded and went after the boys to see what they were doing with their tents. Sanji clearly had a stable tent although it was kind of small, you thought about asking but your theories about his perverted goals made you shudder so you just ignored him and went to the other group.
Usopp was busy trying to make a tent himself and he was determined to show that he knew how to set one up, but he didn't. Zoro was lying on a sheet on the sand and using his backpack as a pillow, while Luffy and Chopper seemed to be having fun listening to the stories of the captain's older brother, Ace. “Usopp, do you want help?” You asked, approaching everyone. Since you still had some energy it wouldn't hurt to help others before going to your own tent to sleep, after all you were the first to set up your shelter which consisted more of a roof and pillow cloths and a sheet, you weren't much demanding and thought it fair that the girls had more fabric to work with.
“Hm… no… I… I'm almost there” he said, too focused to look at you, trying hard to make the poles that were supposed to hold the tent upright… obviously without success.
“Zoro?” You decided to leave the shooter alone, either he would make it or he would give up. The experience of success or failure was worth it then it was no longer your business.
“I'm fine, it's not too cold,” he said calmly. You would doubt if a normal human was truly capable of withstanding that cold, but it was Zoro and you knew he didn't think like a normal human, so you just shrugged it off.
You approached the other three boys who seemed very excited even after a long day of travel. Ace was a good guy, he definitely cared about Luffy and he had been very kind to everyone when they found out that you were his beloved little brother's crew. What bothered you was that he looked at you in a kind of strange way, especially when you interacted with Luffy.
It made you a little nervous and paranoid, but it didn't make you treat him any differently.
“Do any of you need help in the tents before I go to sleep?” You offered everyone, as always being very helpful.
“Oh! No! I’ll stay with Usopp!” Chopper declared happily and looked at his companion, but upon seeing the situation in the tent he was a little… well he was definitely something but you still weren't very good at reading emotions in an animal. He just sighed, getting up from Luffy's lap "I better help him" the reindeer said as he went towards his friend.
“I’m fine, fire advantage” Ace smiled and you had to admit he had a good charm. To prove his point he lit his own hand with his flames and you almost felt envious of the natural heat he was able to provide.
“Okay, then I’m going to get some sleep” you said, yawning, already feeling the tiredness finally catching up with you. As you turned to walk away you felt something grab your wrist and turned to see Luffy with a huge upset pout and his stretchy hand reaching out to hold you back.
"And me?" He asked in such a hurt way that he looked like a puppy abandoned in the rain.
“Huh? What about you Luffy?” You asked a bit confused.
“Aren’t you going to ask where I’m going to sleep?” He said it as if it were his duty to do it, a kind of genuine obligation.
“Oh! I thought you were going to sleep with Ace…” you said confused looking at your older brother. Since it had been a while since they had seen each other and Ace produced heat, you figured the two would just sleep together like brothers usually do.
“I don’t want to sleep with Ace!” Luffy grumbled, letting go of you and crossing his arms, he seemed almost offended by his assumption. “He snores!”
"Hey!" Ace said in protest at the small offense.
“Okay… what do you want to do then?” You looked at the boy with amusement, Luffy was always a bit clingy towards you and little by little you learned to give in to all his requests.
"I want to sleep with you!" He declared with a big smile and with so much confidence that it made your cheeks heat up and you looked away in embarrassment.
“Okay…whatever you want captain” you said shyly and practically ran to your tent to avoid hearing whatever Ace might say about that interaction.
Soon you were lying in the sand under your tent and trying to calm your racing heart, why did Luffy have to be so cute?! It only made it worse that he didn't know the effect he had on you... what an unfair life. When you were almost falling asleep you felt his warmth on your back, he wrapped his rubber limbs around you a few times as he held you tight against him, almost as if he wanted to make sure you wouldn't leave. He moved a few times, adjusting himself and then placed his head on your back, starting to sleep soon after. You sighed, deciding to follow his actions as you yawned one last time and also let sleep overcome you.
Outside, Ace watched as his brother practically skipped over to his tent with a knowing smile on his face. He wasn't an idiot, he knew Luffy very well and had good experience with romance, he knew exactly what was going on between the two of you. The way you smiled at Luffy and seemed to always be around him, the way the boy was also clingy to you and always seemed like your validation… who would know that Ace's whiny little brother would grow up enough to fall in love.
“Huh… those two then?” He laughed knowing that Zoro was the only one who was still awake, it wouldn't hurt to know more about his brother's boyfriend, after all it had been a long time since they had seen each other and Ace wanted to know all the news.
"Actually no." Zoro said quickly turning around to face Ace, he still had his eyes closed but was definitely awake.
“Huh? How not? They are literally sleeping together!” The man said, confused.
"Put two idiots together who are incapable of understanding what it's like to be in love and you get these two" Zoro yawned in his seat but he had an amused smile. “They definitely feel something, everyone knows”
“Let me guess, everyone knows except them?” Ace laughed knowingly, that was just like Luffy.
"Bingo... (y/n) is a little smarter, but I think he just doesn't want to accept that he's in love with the captain himself" that was a good theory, you always showed a lot of respect for Luffy's position and maybe you didn't want to mix things up things.
“He… huh, has problems with men?” Ace didn't know exactly how to ask if you weren't out of the closet without seeming rude, wouldn't it be weird if you didn't want to confess because you didn't feel comfortable liking a boy. Although that seemed a bit unlikely with the way you acted around Luffy.
"No, he's always made it clear that men are his type... Luffy isn't exactly the type of person who cares about gender either." Zoro pondered "I think it's just... They maybe don't think it's really love, the way they are they should just think it's a good friendship and that's it"
“No, (y/n) knows she's in love with Luffy” the third voice was Sanji's who was outside his tent smoking. "He just won't confess because he thinks Luffy is like that with everyone."
Ace sighed feeling empathy for you, Luffy could be very dense and his friendly manner probably confused you. But he knew that his brother definitely loved you, loved you in a very romantic way even if maybe he didn't know exactly what that was or how to express it.
“Well, I worry less,” Ace yawned, adjusting his hat to cover his face. “Luffy will eventually understand that he is in love with him, when that happens he will confess and make his love clear… he just needs a little time” the man laughed. He could already imagine the scene, Luffy would probably be a great boyfriend if he was already extremely loving with you now, as an older brother he felt very happy knowing that his little brother was having his first love and that luckily it was still reciprocated. You would work out, you just needed time until your feelings became clear and you could finally accept and accept them.
Sanji had already retired again, leaving Zoro to be the only one awake, he lay on his back facing the starry desert sky. Yes... You two just needed time, everyone could see how much you both loved each other much more than friends and mainly cared about each other. It would definitely be very interesting to see this unfold, he was just glad that both of his friends were in love with good people who would take good care of them.
You stroked Luffy's black hair, he was lying with his head in your lap recovering after the difficult battle against Doflamingo. You were all at Kyros' house so that Law and Luffy could have more time to recover, soon you would leave for Zou and then for Wano, so all the time to recover was essential now.
The straw hat on your head cast a certain shadow on your eyes, you didn't want to fall asleep, too worried to take your eyes off Luffy. But it was obvious that tiredness was also taking its toll on you, after all you also participated in your own battles to help the entire city from collapsing, now all your body and mind wanted was a little rest.
“Hey! Bro, you should get some sleep, you look like a zombie” Franky laughed as he continued the repairs on his body, you laughed weakly believing his words.
“Don’t worry, this one won’t wake up anytime soon” Zoro said, assuring you that you could take some time for your own rest.
“Okay… wake me up in case anything happens” you yawned, leaning better against the wall and finally resting completely, the straw hat fell against your face giving you greater coverage. You couldn't feel it, but Luffy turned a little, laying on his side and using his elastic arms to wrap himself around you, holding you close to him.
“It seems I came to say goodbye at a bad time” Sabo smiled entering the house, he would really love to spend more time with Luffy to recover everything they lost, but the revolutionary army needed him and it was time to go back. "It seems like some things never change, Luffy was always sleeping as a child."
“This one just doesn't sleep more than he eats,” Zoro said, making the other members who were there laugh a little.
"That's good, I'm glad he's still like this..." he smiled nostalgically, a part of him was happy that Luffy had managed to recover after Ace. A guilt still lingered in his chest for not being there, but they would have plenty of time in the future to come together again.
The blonde boy was going to say something else before starting his final farewell, but that was when he stopped to pay a little more attention to his brother and the man who slept with him. Luffy's precious straw hat resided on the man's head while his brother was wrapped around him in the same way he was wrapped around Sabo and Ace as children. No, it wasn't the same way, there was something different. The smile on Luffy's face, the way he was snuggled up to the boy Sabo knew was called (y/n)... Oh, he knew what that was.
“So both?” Zoro's eyes widened in surprise, it seemed that the brothers were much more alike than he imagined. He smiled nostalgically thinking that Luffy's two brothers really care about him a lot, it seemed like a great déjà vu from that same night in Alabasta years ago.
“No, not yet” he laughed looking sideways at the two “But they are already better than before.” That wasn't a lie, now that you and Luffy were reunited you were much more open to his displays of love, probably due to being apart for so long. The only thing “missing” was a label, but it wasn’t like you and Luffy seemed to care about that.
“Ah, I see… Luffy is more dense in these things” Sabo smiled happily, looking at his brother so comfortable.
“I'm happy that it's reciprocated, for both of them... I'm sure they'll work out, they just need a little time.” He was sure of it, it was obvious how much you liked each other, a little time would be enough for the two of you to take on whatever was necessary and nothing else would come between you “Well, I need to go, thanks for looking after my little brother, I promise we’ll see you again soon.” Sabo turned to leave but was stopped when he heard Zoro's voice.
“Huh… Ace said the same thing” Sabo's heart stopped for a second. "Not just about taking care of Luffy... About the two of you, you two were pretty confident that with a little time they would work out..."
Sabo had to hold back his tears, taking a deep breath to keep his control. He said happily without looking back "Then that must be a good sign, big brothers are never wrong." That was the small blessing for his brother's future relationship, he knew it would work out, Luffy could be dense in romantic relationships but Sabo knew that the day he fell in love with someone and was reciprocated he would never let that person go.
Leaving the small house he faced the sunny day feeling the wind on his face, wiping his tears and ruffling his golden curls.
“Hey Ace… It looks like our little brother grew up huh?” he said excitedly looking up, could his brother see him now? “I'm glad you had the chance to see them too... (y/n) is a good guy, I'm sure he'll be good for Luffy” he smiled confidently, after all he had seen how you took care of your brother when he passed out after the battle. “Luffy will also be good for him… Ah… I wish you had the chance to be here to see them finally together” he bit his trembling lip, unable to stop himself from crying “But it's okay, I know you can see us there, so please take good care of them… Our little brother deserves to be happy.”
And inside that house Luffy was still hugging you tightly, you yourself were smiling with your hand in the boy's hair, patting him even though you were sleeping. You might not have admitted your feelings, but that didn't matter, you and Luffy both knew that you loved each other and that you would never let anything happen to each other. And everyone around you, especially those two proud older brothers, knew that nothing would stop you two from enjoying a beautiful romance.
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softspace-fics · 2 months ago
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Sorry about the other request I got REALLY excited and turned trauma dump so just know I'm sorry for the tmi lol thank you for listening to me ramble (also completely unrelated you should write for Tony and strange with a little reader and little peter)
-🦄
Safe place.
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A/N - So this request took so long to think of something because I just didn't know how I wanted to portray them, but I think I love this fic so much.
Stephen strange x Tony start + Little!Peter and Little!reader
Masterlist - all my work!
Warnings ⚠️ - FLUFFFFF!! and a little bit of sadness, and reference to bad childhood, but nothing extensive.
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Safe places, seen to many as the only place one can be themselves. In some cases, there's no such thing as a safe place, and some have never known the feeling of being truly safe.
You never had a safe place, for most of your life, you were on your own. The moment you knew how to make the most basic meal, your parents left you to fend for yourself basically. So when you met your caregivers, it was such an eye opening experience, for not only them, but for you too.
You had known each other for years prior to them adding you to their family with Peter, and it took a long time before you were completely comfortable letting them take care of you, but soon enough, you did.
Toddling through the room, you see Peter off in his own little corner, seeing how many webs it will take to stick all his blocks he's collected together, and your two caregivers are busy as your papa shows your dada his new tech he built.
You continue to wander through, your pacifier securely between your lips, your little blabbles muted behind it. Your little stuffie friend clutches perfectly to your chest as you climb into your play tent, where more of your friends sit, waiting for you to say hello. Your tablet lays right where you left it when your dada grabbed you for lunch just an hour earlier, ready for your little hands to come and turn on your favorite cartoon.
You grab your favorite blanket, curling into your stuffies safe embrace and safely covered by the soft fabric of your blanket. The music from the intro of your cartoon sounds through your tent, and your eyes light up with joy.
Minutes pass, and halfway through your episode, a shuffle is heard from outside your tent and then peters head peaks through.
“Cuddles?” He softly asks, his eyes begging for snuggles and human contact.
You nod and open your blanket, your normally hyper playmate, cuddled in closely to you, holding you safely in his arms, watching your show alongside you. The two of you mumble some words every now and then, up until the soft snores came from your twin flame, your soft music from your show lulling him to sleep.
Around 2 episodes after Peter falls asleep, quiet footsteps are heard outside your tent, and then a soft knock on the floor just outside the tents walls was heard, alerting your attention. You shift slightly, but not enough to wake Peter as you see your dada peeking in, checking on the two of you.
There would have been a time where a caregiver checking on you would have caused fear and you would have started to tremble, but in this case, part of you wanted to just be engulfed in his arms.
“He asleep?” Dada strange asks you. You slowly nod your head, in an attempt not to wake the boy currently under your head, soundly asleep.
Strange nods his head in a gesture to let you know to carefully climb out of your tent and come to the living room before he gets up from your tent, asking your papa to grab Peter shortly after get you out of the tent. You sit up carefully, placing your tablet back where you found it and carefully tucking your brother under your blanket before taking your stuffie and yourself out to your dada.
Once you're out of your tent you happily toddle back over to him before he protectively picks you up, kissing your forehead and holding you tightly. Your papa eventually appears with your brother wrapped in his favorite blanket, and your favorite blanket securely on your papas shoulder, ready to be given back to you.
Safety was always a concern to you, as you grew up, and even when you got to your big world, it was always a rocky apartment, or a creepy neighbor, or just the instability of the world.
But as your papa hands your blanket over to your dada, and he quickly burritos you in his arms, giving you kisses as he does, you feel a sense of safety you’ve never truly found anywhere else. Your sense of safety grows as jarvis lowers the lights and your caregivers settle you and your brother in their arms. Jarvis puts on your favorite movie, seeing as you're the little one who's awake, giving you the ability to cuddle into your dada and completely relax.
Your breathing begins to even out about a quarter of the way through the movie, as your own dream land takes over your mind. Your dada gently plays with your hair, keeping you safe and sound in his arms.
Safe Places aren't known to all, and some may never have a safe place. But you have found yours, and you knew it.
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blondeaxolotl · 5 months ago
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Finally found the time to draw my re-vamp of Pluto... I had this planned for a while but I didn't do anything until now!!! so here he is! The guy!!!
Since I probably won't talk about Pluto that often, I'm deciding to just drop his re-vamp here and his lore that I made for him in this post!!
Personality wise: Pluto is a human who was formed into a "Hell-hound", unlike "Canon Pluto", Pluto here has more of the personality of a human instead of a dog in a mans body. He resembles a dog yes, but he talks, walks, behaves like a person, and prefers to be treated as one, otherwise it makes him feel de-humanised if he's being shoo'd away like some house-pet (which is what Sebastian often does, they don't like eachother that much). Pluto seems to have a close bond with Finny and Snake, considering them truly family first before he starts viewing the others as such as well (Not Sebastian). He does not recall his human life, he doesn't even remember his own name. The reason why he's referred to as "Pluto" is because it's what Angela called him when she was in charge of him, and the name stuck within the phantomfam, but he did eventually gain the nickname "Plu-Plu" by Finny, which Pluto seems to not mind, but he prefers if it's only used by either Finny or Snake (or his snakes). Besides his obvious close bond with Finny and Snake, he's slowly starting to show more trust with the others, Like Ciel, Mey-Rin and Tanaka. He doesn't like Baldroy that much but he doesn't hate him (they'll eventually bond when Baldroy starts to cook better food). Though he seems to hate Sebastian and refuses to be near him or listen to him (unless Ciel tells him to), poor fella is uncomfortable around him.
BACKSTORY/LORE (Warning for Human experiment, demon sacrifice, implied animal abuse, physical abuse and torture) Please read with caution if any of this things might discomfort or trigger you
I'm going to keep things short and simple I won't go into deep detail or such, it's just a summary of what "Pluto" went through from beginning to end and how he got to where he is now, also sorry if the writing is shit this is my first time writing anything like this so my bad.
On a bright sunny day, a 17 year old boy, Maxwell, and his pet dog were both kidnapped and taken away while alone working on their family farm while his parents were away for the week. Max and his dog were taken away by a group of men and taken to a mad doctor who wanted to create the first ever "half-beast half-man" and sell it off to a freakshow for alot of money, pretending to have "found" the beast instead of "creating" it. Unfortunately, the boy and his dog were not the first. While being dragged away to their new long-time home, Max noticed cages upon cages of "people" with animal parts attached to them (from the looks of it, it seemed like a few of them were already lifeless and decaying). With now knowing what's going to become of him, Max and his dog were thrown in an empty cage together, a cage which will be known as his long-time home and thus 2 long years of torture began. The torture of him and his dog becoming one.
After many forced injections, body parts being taken apart and stitched together, Max slowly grew weaker and weaker as more as he went through, not only did his body grow weaker, but so did his mind. Who was he? Who were his parents? Where did he come from? Why was he wearing a dog collar? Answers who he did not know for, at least not anymore. The doctor, who was getting more and more irritated realizing the only thing keeping his creation alive right now was his weak breathing, has grown sick and tired of all these failed experiments. The doctor had one last option to make his half-beast man become fully alive and functional, one last chance of becoming the rich man he wished to be.
Max being yanked by his collar and forced to walk on his hind legs (which was already painful enough to stand) was dragged down to a lower, darker part of the building(?) he was in, his vision was blurry and his ears were muffled but upon entering a room, he could see the figure of who believed to be the doctor standing above something and surrounded- what Max believed to be a weird circle.
After being thrown into the circle, he struggled to stand up and fell down to the ground, rubbing his eyes trying to handle this brain-spliting headache while the doctor rambles off non-sense, for a second he felt like he heard something being impaled but wasn't sure. Barely a second past and suddenly the whole room felt like it was spinning, weird black goop and furniture started circling around him and the doctor as if there was a hurricane accruing right this moment.
Max finally looked up and saw a strange tall lanky figure leaning over the doctor (at least what he thought was a figure), his vision was still blurry but he knew he felt unsafe the moment that thing appeared in the room. Not even trying to comprehend what the two of them were talking or even trying to figure out what that thing was or where it came from, he tried his best to regain his strength and attempt to crawl away to safety- Which didn't last long as he felt a sharp pain within his chest suddenly, as if a hand went through him and started crushing his soul. Whatever that thing was, he knew the doctor told it to do it (since he heard loud cheer coming from that freak)- He felt like he was being killed and reincarnated at the same time.
Moments later, Max found himself running out of the building he was once kept in for what felt like an eternity. Blood was dripping down from his mouth but he no longer felt pain every stepped he took, his vision and earing have improved as well, as if all that pain he went through never happened.
He did not know what that thing was, (he did not recall what he did or what happened after the experience with the figure and the doctor, but he knew he did something- did he hurt someone?) but it seemed to have helped him more than it helped the doctor, whatever it was, he did NOT want to encounter it again nor something similar to it. Despite feeling physically better, his mental state still remained fragile, he still couldn't remember anything nor how he even got here. Who was he again?
Months after finally fleeing his personal hell, walking for days and hours as far away as he could. He eventually found himself in a forest, and finally decided this was a good place to rest for a bit, he was far away from his abusers, but also isolated enough to where no one could find him and take him away again. At least, that's what he thought.
A minute has past with his eyes closed, only to quickly open them up again after feeling something hover over him, a strange woman in white was standing over him. “Oh dear, what are you” she muttered.
He didn’t know if she meant it with disgust, but she seemed surprised nonetheless. They both stared at each other for a short period of time, before the lady look away for a moment and then looked back, as if an idea clicked in her head.
“You’re a strange looking demon hound” A demon hound? Is that who he is? What's a demon hound? “But you seem to be lost and scared, come now, as an Angel, it’s my duty to help those in need, even if one is a demon”
He had no idea who this woman was, but the moment she spilled out that she was an angel he immediately jumped back onto his feet, an angel? Did she come to help him? Did she come to fix him? If only she would’ve come sooner but he would rather not complain “What’s your name?” she asked but all he could do is stare, what was his name again? Did he even have one? After receiving moments of silence, he felt a tug on his collar “Pluto” The angel said
“Nice to meet you Pluto, we’re going to be friends for a while now” Pluto? That felt familiar, but he didn’t know why.. But it was his name now, and it’s what he will be referred to from now on according to the angel. With his tail wagging and his spirit high now, Pluto finally found someone he can trust, I mean, it’s an angel after all, and angels are always there to help, so of course he's going to trust her, she did say she is going to help him.
Without hesitation, Pluto began following the angel after she gestured to him, leading him to a village. Believing that this village might be his journey to fixing himself, though unfortunately, he does not realise that the angel tricked him into becoming the monster of this villager, leading to long months of now being treated like monster that deserves to be hunted down by the towns people, and only bringing hatred towards the villages own dogs because of him being a "hound dog". That is, until help finally arrives.
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Okay yeah I yapped a little too much my bad I got carried away, but basically long story short, Ciel and Sebastian get there, they found out it’s not some evil spirit and it’s pluto instead (Sebastian beats the fuck out of him) and later on Angela hands Pluto over to them to “train him better” or whatever. Which Ciel agrees to and next thing you know Pluto ends up becoming a trio with Finny and Snake because he feels the closest to them and believes they’re the only ones who relate to him the most with the experience he went though and yeah. This took longer than I expected and it's now 3am lmaooo, as a bonus for reading my edgy story have a doodle:
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callingbridgerton · 7 months ago
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"Colin didn't earn Penelope."
Ummmmm.
Okay. So, let's just start by saying that Colin Bridgerton did nothing wrong by simply not feeling the same way about Penelope for so long. I am so serious. Even if he never returned her feelings, he wouldn't have done something wrong. But that's not the story we're watching. They're meant for each other, but he didn't know that. That is not wrong of him.
He has done only one thing wrong, ever (to Penelope): give into his insecurities, alter his true self, and give way to a fake version of himself that wants to be accepted by the wrong people and make a hurtful comment to "the boys" about her.
Which he apologized for the moment he knew she knew. It is sad, indeed, that he didn't realize on his own how hurtful that was but even if he had, given that he didn't know she knew, what purpose would there be in him going "uh, I made a really mean comment about you recently and I feel bad about it." Like what? That'd be harder to come back from than how it actually played out.
Now, I don't even want to talk about this because it annoys me how annoyed people are and I have seen it calming down but I think this is worth saying. Some people, I know, are really frustrated with Colin visiting brothels and having "experiences" on his travels. Especially those that have read the books (I haven't.) I know that people were attached to Virgin!Colin, but since I never even thought about that I just didn't care. Show Colin has not offended me, it is not my favorite thing in the world but I think people's primary problem with it is that they wanted Colin and Pen to be on the same exact page when they got together (virgins.) That's very cute and sweet as an idea but show Colin lives in a time period that does not at all expect that of him and in fact expects the opposite. In his quest to take on a new persona he attempts meaningless sex as well but we are shown over and over again that he's just not that into it. He's so confused, he knows it's "supposed" to work for him (as it does/did for his brothers and friends) but it just doesn't.
I also think a lot of people have a problem with it simply because they consider him promised to Penelope when he is not. He just isn't (even though he is.) But he didn't know that!!! He had literally no idea. He didn't cheat on her, he didn't break a promise, he didn't do anything wrong. He was just trying to figure himself out.
In reality, Colin has done nothing but be exceedingly kind to Penelope. A true friend. He has shown nothing but reverence for her all throughout season 1 and 2. And 3. He earned her through being her friend, the only one who truly listens to her and notices her bright mind and kind heart and warm soul. He is literally the only one. Eloise, maybe, but tbh she doesn't truly realize how amazing Pen is (IMO).
Colin didn't need to do anything else. He apologized for his mistakes and showed through actions how much he meant it.
He has earned her since the day they met.
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itsybitsylemonsqueezy · 10 months ago
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Wow, my Baldur's Gate 3 post blew up somewhat... nice. Well, time for more headcanons, of the unapologetically horny variety. (Yes, yes, I know everyone and their mother has done this already, well here's mine. Nyeh.)
Including: Astarion, The Emperor, Gale, Halsin, Jaheira, Karlach, Lae'zel, Raphael, Shadowheart, Wyll, and Zevlor
Tumblr is run by unfun prudes who would like my 30-year-old thoughts to remain Chaste and Pristine™ so filth under the cut until they ban me or whatever
Astarion
So the truly hilarious thing about Astarion is that he claims to be a pillow princess, but is almost always a dom. Like, I find it very funny that he enjoys the Aesthetics™ of being a spoiled brat, too delicate and pampered to lift a finger, but in reality, he's a bit of a work horse who finds having nothing to do dull as rocks.
Not to say that he doesn't enjoy receiving, I fully believe he does, but I think it's mostly relaxing at best and dissociative at worst. We'll assume though he's with a trusted partner for now though, rather than deal with the Hang Ups. I think inevitably he'd eventually roll over and change positions and end up in charge. I think it's an undeniable itch for him, even when he's being treated very well. There's just something so enthralling and exciting about being in control and playing with someone. It gives him a satisfying challenge the way being a pillow princess doesn't.
I think sex is particularly about aesthetics for Astarion as well. Bondage, costume, the art and immersion of it would be appealing. Role play would naturally extend out of this, especially as a safe outlet for some of his more complicated feelings. Succeeding at multiple layers of social interaction and intimacy would be extremely rewarding for him, I think.
He's also a very giving lover. I'm not sure praise would quite do it for him, that's not exactly his build. The submission though... oh yes, that does wonders. And he's very keen to reward that submission with nice things, sweet things, unbearably sweet, more than you can take... that's the kind of torture he's into, whining, begging, pleading, from the too muchness of it all, from how good he's being to you... mmm, yes, that's the stuff. It's soothing to understand you can be in control and not hurt people, to know that the control is not corruptive, not a bad thing in itself. I think it'd do a lot for his confidence and self-image.
Also, very into feeding as a sexual thing. He is a hedonist after all, more pleasure is more pleasure.
(The) Emperor
Hey, haters to the left, please. We believe in free love here and that includes the tentacle-y kind.
Look, okay, the dude comes on... strong. Too strong, to be honest. A little overly possessive, overly needy, but there is a hot, sweet core in there. And with a little patience, time, and reassurance, that can be honed into a respectful balance. If you can be patient and take your time, you can help him understand that he doesn't need to be in your every thought or be constantly touching to still have a deep bond. Do gotta watch those tendencies though.
That said, tentacles are a gift! Strong, dexterous, perfect for holding, squeezing, manipulating, and of course, inserting. It's hard to imagine a more intuitive metaphor for desire than tentacles, constantly grasping as they are. And boy, the Emperor wants. Also potentially has some experience using these, probably has a fair idea of how to make this good for both of you, so a pretty good bonus there.
While the Emperor tends to think he knows best and never enters anything without a plan, I think he'd be willing to take instruction. Your pleasure would be a point of pride so if something could be going better, I think he'd listen. Communication reaffirms trust after all. It's no dishonor to be spoken to or even commanded.
Honestly not sure illithid experience pleasure outside of making you orgasm and just like voyeuring or skimming the pleasure off your brain, so it's probably all about you here. Which also means we're probably not looking at marathon sessions; it'll be just the right amount of attention to a big, satisfying orgasm and then warm, languid rest. But the trick is, you're not going to get any gentle, casual encounters. His focus is unparalleled so it's very hard to back off of 100. That's fun, but can be exhausting, especially if you like a bit of variety.
Gale
Sometimes it's hard to see what Mystra saw in Gale; other times it's blinding. He's the most self-congratulating, infuriating, annoying bastard you know and he's also, somehow, perfect. What the fuck. The basic problem with Gale is that he'll tell you, to your face, that he fucked a goddess and when and where and how and the worst thing of all is he's not lying; he's actually good.
Gale has the enviable qualities of simultaneously being very laid back and very enthusiastic. He's happy with whatever position you suggest and is just thrilled to be invited. Throws himself into whatever's on the table.
Not to say that he doesn't have ideas, god, but he never shuts up about his ideas. And they're all, frustratingly, really good ideas too! "Oh, well I thought since we're in the hot tub, a little ice in my fingertips might be electrifying." "Have you considered the effects of shifting local gravity so you could ride me longer?" "I've taken the liberty of enchanting your dildo so you can feel it when you peg me!" God, don't you just hate him for being right all the time?
And to make matters worse, the stupid prick is full of wondering adoration for you, always trying to give you the best time possible, the best time ever. And he cares So Much he even notices if The Most Sensations Ever isn't the right thing right now and adjusts. He's just as happy to sit and cuddle or read next to each other. Ugh, disgusting. It's like someone made him in the Best Lover Conceivable factory and blew the whole budget on just him! Like, why Mystra gotta ruin the dating scene like that?!
Trouble is, he's obsessively good at doing exactly what you want because he was groomed by a goddess so... 😬 Sometimes you have to remind him he's enough. Sometimes you have to let him know that he isn't as good as what he could do for others, that he was already good, just on his own. Sometimes you gotta take care of him because he won't remember and he won't realize. And he might pout and object, but he deserves a good time too. Not that he wasn't having a good time but... you know what I mean. Let him be the focus.
Gale's very into attention and a slow, sweet time. Work him up painstakingly, bring him to the edge of begging, tell him what a good boy he is. He'll be crying with pleasure. Don't let him rush, rushing is a cheap shortcut and it means he doesn't have to endure being adored just as much as he adores you. It's the only time he'll ever be shy, having to accept love. But this should also, of course, always be paired with letting him reciprocate. One-sided affection or interaction would be torture for the poor boy. He wants so badly to be good, but gotta temper that a bit with reminding him he already is.
Halsin
Oakfather giving Mystra a run for her mother for "ruining the dating scene" with this one. Only The Oakfather went "thicc whores only" and the world cried amen for we were blessed.
What can we say about this polyamorous icon that hasn't already been said? Well, perhaps counter to some above examples, Halsin blessedly doesn't have to be at 110% all the time. Having a soft time is just as good as a rough ride. Although... we all know you're getting more of the latter on average, right?
The nice thing about Halsin is you don't have to worry about him denying himself or doing things just because he thinks you want them; he's a master of balance. He absolutely has his own personal, selfish desires and he knows how to serve them in turn. There's something refreshingly organic about Halsin's attraction, he's into you for perceptible maybe even measurable reasons, you don't have to worry about what's going on in that beautiful head of his so much.
A lot of energy in this one though, gotta be aware of that appetite. But hey, if you're into Halsin, you're probably open to maybe a couple more partners, together or separately. Halsin is certainly down for all of those combos.
Very generous lover, not satisfied until you say so. Down for any length of time, any position, but he strikes me as a man who's not into a lot of frills. Sex is about the physical pleasure, those animalistic instincts, and the kinetic energy between people being used and blended to create something more, something almost beyond us. A lot of artifice and dressing up wouldn't make a lot of sense to him and he's not likely to get much out of it. Don't think he'd yuck your yum, but unlikely to participate himself.
Might even prefer multiple partners at once and the longer the session the better. Short sessions are possible, but he's not going to enjoy it as much unless he can get really into the rhythm of it. Again, it's about balancing the energy, which often involves a bit of warm up and getting into the groove to truly satisfy. If one partner, high energy is best if possible. Come in with some goals in mind or you might get overwhelmed. Wouldn't be surprised if sometimes Halsin doesn't come at all due to his unreal stamina and thresholds.
Can't think of a better teacher to help you try something new though. Patient, kind, thoughtful with feedback from long experience. And he's incredibly appreciative of the unique skills every person has, the things only they bring are always valuable to him, something to be cherished and enjoyed. One of the few people who can be instructive, encouraging, and erotic all at the same time. It's a rare breed.
Jaheira
I'd let Mama Harper boss me around any day. And she is decidedly the boss, she's been giving orders since before I was born and that isn't about to change. Strong dom MILF energy here. And she definitely knows what she wants so those orders are going to be clear and consistent.
I don't think the strap is her preference, but I don't think she'd be opposed. But as another druid, I think she likes to go in bare handed, as it were. And, to be fair, she doesn't need help, I've seen those hands work a lash. She's strong and flexible, whatever you ask for she can give. She seems to have less in the raw energy department than Halsin, but I'll chalk that up to not being chief. I think it would take awhile to wear her down though, can't take her for fast or easy. Just like Halsin, I bet she prefers longer sessions to shorter, but would probably be a bit more flexible on this.
I think her real specialty is probably ropes, any kind of bondage. And she seems keen to teach the uninitiated, to make it not scary and safe. Her argument being the restraint in and of itself heightens the pleasure, why not try it? Not a bad argument.
She also probably enjoys herself most getting a work out in. She can be gentle for you, but her own pleasure is found in conquering, mastering. A test of strength or wills would probably be called for here. Tbh, I can't imagine her being that interested until you can prove you're a match for her in some way. Not terribly interested in coddling.
Karlach
Oh, a goddess among mere mortals. Those tits, that ass! She could break me in half and I would thank her, crying tears of joy. Karlach deserves every happiness on earth. Karlach is maybe the most enthusiastic person here, and that's saying something. The feeling of being close to others, but specifically sex, is such an important love language to Karlach. She has high physical needs and so is very excited and very determined to make you have as good a time as she is having. Unfortunately, sometimes this has a spiraling effect that results in questions like "how many orgasms is too many orgasms?" She just gets carried away, poor thing. But, nonetheless, as addictive as a good time is, you'll probably run out of stamina before she does. Though I bet she'd still keep going past the point of discomfort for herself, just because she's so excited and in love and bursting with joy and energy. It's hard to stop when there's so much you want to say and do and experience. Especially after being restrained so long.
On that topic, bondage probably not a good fit here. Anything that prevents touch for her is not really going to be her thing.
On the flip side, there is no such thing as too much, too hard, too long. I cannot imagine someone more eager to gobble you up, to taste you everywhere, to squeeze you close and shudder and gasp until your sweat smells the same. Like... she is here for this, she is into it. And she'll intuitively go for whatever is going to be more tactile, more of your touch and your body on hers. But also more scent, more excitement. She's going to respond like lightning to any little squeak or shiver to get any reaction out of you. She's so hungry for it.
And she's had a lot of time to think of ideas so you won't run dry on creativity for a good long while. Also important to note, she's only going to be a fast draw in the early days when everything is so urgent. She will slow down in time, though I think she'll end up running faster and hotter than most here. Her appetite is strong, but her stamina is actually on the low side. So more orgasms, but less space between them. Over stimulation is going to be huge here.
Not sure she has the patience for role play or anything fancy. This is not to say she isn't vocal she is... very vocal. Constantly. But that's quite affirming. And I think she'd be pretty into displays, perhaps even a bit of exhibitionism. After all, voyeurism/exhibitionism is all she had for awhile, so I suspect that would carry over into now. I think in particular she'd like to show you off, since she has a keen understanding of the eroticism of visuals. Not everyone's cup of tea of course, and she doesn't have to, but she just gets excited and proud. This makes her feel so good she can't help wanting to shout about it.
All of this said, she's also probably the most attentive in safety and aftercare. Halsin is a safety nut as well, but Karlach absolutely dotes. She wants to make sure she didn't hurt you or wear you out in any way and so will make extra, extra sure any little need is taken care of.
Lae'zel
Lae'zel's pussy could kill a man, in fact, it probably has. Not the most romantic of our choices, at least at first, but vigorous, satisfying, honestly intimidating. But, sex is very accessible with Lae'zel. Sex is part of communion for her, but in a different way than Halsin. It's exercise and contest and entertainment and group cohesion all in one. For these reasons, she's not as intimidating as you'd expect because just you saying yes to her pleases her. If she's invited you, that means she's already judged you worthy. She's not going to be upset when giving pointers because she has no hang ups about how sex is supposed to work. She doesn't expect you to read her mind and would probably be mad if you tried. Clear communication is part of this and you already earned the trust for it.
And on the flip side, she will not be distressed by you stating your desires because she's also not trying to read your mind. She wants you to trust her enough to say what you want. Honestly, she's probably a good starting place for virgins, her openness would be soothing. She might even have the patience to instruct, though she's not a terribly patient woman in general.
Also, not to bury it, Lae'zel just likes sex, the sweat, the scents, the weird, sticky feelings of it, the shivering glow through the body. Sex is fun for her and that's obvious in her vocalizations, both articulated words and not. And she knows that the more times you have sex with the same partner, the easier it gets, the more enjoyable it is. I think she'd like watching that progress, like a good team coming together. It's a sign of trust and affection. And in time, if she comes to trust you a lot, the sex becomes even more intimate and vulnerable, as you start to trust each other experimenting, going by instinct rather than plan. Those little shifts would be thrilling for her as she learns to improvise and accept new ideas. Surprising her would be delightful because she always thinks she has the upper hand. How fun to show her that's not always the case.
Lae'zel is a dom more out of necessity than desire, I think. She's probably a switch, happy with whatever suits; she just ends up doming a lot because no one has earned her subbing/she doesn't trust enough yet. But taking turns would also be valuable team building for her, important everyone trains even the skills they're weak at. Together, we become better at sex and at understanding each other. Weirdly, a very emotionally healthy outlook.
Raphael
I think I feel about Raphael as others feel about Enver Gortash. I want to project every flithy, nasty ass thought onto this wet rag of a man. So, without further ado: humiliation is the name of the game. I think if you fucked Haarlep in front of him, binding him so he couldn't do anything, only watch as Haarlep groans about how much better you are than Raphael, I think he'd come in his over-tailored pants. Cuckold the shit out of him. I think he needs to be stepped on, pegged, and drooling in the street. Never let him have his own way. I think he'd see stars getting pushed around like that. I think it would be great for him. Just use him like a cock sleeve, really dig in there. Absolutely deserved.
Like, imagine if this whole thing is his cringefail attempt to court Zariel. Imagine that level of humiliation. Works on this for thousands of years, only to burn his own house down over a few puny mortals stealing his shit. Oh my goddddd.
If nothing else, it would be Fucking Hilarious.
Shadowheart
So Shadowheart is probably into some hardcore stuff, right? She strikes me as someone with a bit of a home invasion kink. Definitely here for the blindfold/sensory deprivation kink. Restraints, but not just bondage, I'm thinking vinyl suits. Shadowheart's definitely into the unconventional. The more toys and artifice, the better.
It's probably next to impossible for Shadowheart to relax sexually. I don't think it's that she isn't into sex, but it's probably difficult for her to calm down and feel safe being vulnerable, get in touch with soft, gentle things that are just nice. Things that hurt a bit are more comfortable, more familiar, and even have less to do with her personally so she doesn't have to deal with her own feelings and preferences. But, with a bit of patience and a firm hand, you could coax Shadowheart into easing up, allowing herself to be taken care of, and to enjoy just a simple hand job or the too soft touch of lips. She's a bit of a project, but especially if you enjoy a bit of darkness and danger, very rewarding.
And Shadowheart would be big into reciprocation, you can't do something nice for her without her doing the same to you. And she'd take it as a point of pride that she's very good at making people beg for mercy. I think she'd become very giving over time, if you can be patient and teach her how to enjoy herself, in time she will give as much and more back to you.
And to be clear, not suggesting she doesn't also and always enjoy a bit of bondage and sensory deprivation, but I think she'd enjoy it more once she's come to terms with the fact this is not a service she's required to provide, an act which could determine her worth, but just occupations she enjoys for herself, outside of external validation. Teaching Shadowheart to masturbate could be huge. I do worry about her some times. A little self-love lessons might be necessary.
Edging also definitely something to try here. The slower the better. But, it's gotta have that pay off, or she'll start circling back to denial is the end in itself. Which... maybe sometimes, but there's also a lot to be enjoyed in the climax too!
Wyll
Hard to find a sweeter, gentler soul on the road. And a softer touch too. Needless to say, it's a lot of firsts with Wyll. But, he's a quick study and enjoys being tender and lovely. And I'll say it right now, even with this illustrious company, I don't think anyone gives better head than Wyll Ravenguard. Such a soft mouth and singularly focused and determined, he genuinely enjoys it too. It's such an act of service and this boy is all about acts of service. He wouldn't even get distracted by his own pleasure, just entirely focused on what he can give you. Halsin might have greater skill, but that heartfelt desire is unparalleled.
Wyll is made to be commanded, he will do whatever you say in bed. Even if you gave him control, I'm not sure he'd want it and definitely wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, not to say he's a pillow princess, those hips are doing their share of heavy lifting. Just to say that he wants instruction, he wants to follow your lead and let you tell him what to do. Praise would be huge here, tell him what a good boy he is, how well he's doing, he'd go mad.
To prolong the pleasure, a little orgasm denial may be useful, make him work for it. He loves a challenge and a test to prove his worthiness. And, in time, you could get experimental with him as you build his confidence. Maybe a little exhibitionism. Maybe a little bondage, a little role play. As long as the trust and love is there, Wyll's willing to try anything once.
Maybe the most fun thing about Wyll is Wyll actually can keep it down. Some of us just have to scream about it, but Wyll can actually get away with a fair mount because of his cool exterior. And Wyll is available for quickies, an advantage over some others here since he doesn't require a huge amount of energy set aside to have a good time. Wyll responds better to smaller but frequent affection and physical touch than big events spaced out. And Wyll is impulsively romantic, he likes to surprise with fun ideas and sudden invitations, which is a reward unto itself.
Zevlor
And a win for Team Sexualizing Old Men! I remember my roots. It is truly a tragedy that Larian won't let me sex up that old man. Look at him, you know it'd be good. So tender, so thorough. And Zevlor deserves something nice god damn it.
You know he knows what he's about. None of that shy, awkward fumbling you get with the new kids. Heck, he probably knows how to get you off standing against a wall, still in his armor! A true prince among men here. Don't think because no one's asked in awhile his skills have diminished.
Very passable oral skills, surprisingly long stamina, not just in oral too ;). Not the fastest ride you'll ever have and some positions are probably going to be out, battle-scarred knees and such, but for my money, absolutely delightful. Don't have to contend with more power than sense here.
And hey, if you want some Honorable Mentions like Aylin, Enver Gortash, or Dammon, let me know! I'm always down to give sexual headcanons no one wanted! 
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fizziepopangel · 4 months ago
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Chronically ill Vaggie headcannons? I feel like she suffers from back pain and flare ups from losing her wings
I love this idea, lowkey jealous that I didn't see that oppertunity, but so glad you brought it up! I hope you enjoy these chronically Ill Vaggie headcanons!
Chronically Ill Vaggie
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Vaggie was a happy, healthy angel. She had experienced the occasional wing cramp or sprain, and the occasional strain from overuse, but nothing compared the the pain of having her wings ripped off her body…. At least that was what she thought after it happened. But what was worse in her eyes was the pain that came afterwards.
Healing the wounds wasn’t all that hard, especially with Charlie at her side nursing her back to health…. But the pain never truly went away.
Most days it was manageable; just an ache where the muscles had been torn, a few quick jabs of pain where the joints and bones had been snapped, but nothing a bit of stretching and an over the counter pain medications wouldn’t help, but some days the pain was nearly unbearable, bringing the former exorcist to tears.
She tries to limit the amount of lifting and bending she does (though carrying her girlfriend to bed is never off the table and she will do it even if the action brings her to tears)
Vaggie actually throws out her back more often than Husk, causing the old sinner to poke fun at her for “acting old” when her back goes out or she complains about pain.
So much slouching
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While most people experience mostly lower back pain or mostly upper back pain, Vaggie has found that her pain shoots both up and down, and after Charlie helped her get a doctor that listened to her concerns, she found that there were several muscle groups and joints that were irreparably damaged, causing the pain to be something she would likely experience the eternity she lived in hell. Vaggie cried  when she realized that this was something she’d always experience.
Her pain does affect her combat style sometimes, but she does her best not to let it because she refuses to look weak in front of her friends and family, or her opponents. She definitely has pretty bad flare ups after any sparring or fights she's in though.
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Different types of pain sensations in different areas of her back. Her lower back mainly aches while her mid and upper back tend to have sharper pain that Vaggie has compared to a hot knife being stabbed between the vertebrae in her spine.
Heating pads. Everywhere. Charlie made sure they are always on hand for her.
Her back pain causes pain in her hips and neck from the muscles overcompensating for the muscles and joints being unable to perform the way they normally would.
After noticing that her pain made it a bit harder for Vaggie to climb the stairs some days, Charlie began trying to make the hotel more accessible to her, adding an elevator and even making the room they shared a bit for disability friendly.’
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Since the pain can make it hard to sleep some days, Vaggie takes naps sometimes during the day, sleeping with a body pillow that she sort of straddles to help relieve some of the pressure on her lower back.
So much comfort and support from her girlfriend (and Lucifer by association). Lucifer would gift her a duck pillow during one of her flare ups as a way to cheer her up.
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Charlie giving massages unprompted on the days she notices her girlfriend flaring up, kissing along her spine as she does.
So much back cracking/popping. And yes,it sounds horrifying sometimes.
She gets the egg bois and Niffty to walk on her back sometimes. She’s asked Charlie, but the princess is terrified of breaking her.
Chiropractic and physical therapy weekly.
Hot showers and baths with epsom salts, though Vaggie doesn’t complain much since she can often get her girlfriend to join her.
Though she won’t tell anyone (besides Husk since everyone likes to bitch to the bartender), Vaggie often feels ashamed of being in pain since the constant pain makes her feel weak because she has to listen to her body’s limitations.
Even after getting her wings back, her back pain remained, she now has to adapt to the back pain being worsened every so often when she flies too much.
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phoenixyfriend · 2 years ago
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[squints at the MCU] Tony Stark has displayed more ability to weather interrogation and torture than Steve Rogers.
This is "(displayed more)(ability)," not "(displayed)(more ability)," to be clear.
(I know fiction’s depiction of torture is famously propagandafied, but in this case, it’s not about torture for information so much as physical traumas shown on screen.)
(Anyway, have a rant I did on discord the other day.)
It's not really so much about "resisted the urge to hand over information" as "survived a truly harrowing experience and still came out of it trying to do good."
Tony's very first movie involves getting repeatedly drowned while in constant pain from bomb injuries as a civilian contractor, and I… don't think I can remember anything even a little similar with Steve
I don't think he's ever been captured for long before breaking out? All his injuries are in active battle, not torture.
Like... Steve went through something horrible with the ice and losing Bucky, nobody can argue that. But I think it's very telling, sometimes, that movie Steve, especially 2012 movie Steve, is completely unaware of the absolute nightmare that Tony experienced in his solo movies.
I have so many feelings about Tony Stark being the epitome of "guy who was raised and manipulated into being a bad person by someone he trusted, and (after a horrible experience) attempts to be a better person, constantly and consistently, even if he sometimes fucks up in the execution."
And the way that some fics elide his experiences in cleaning up other people's messes (first Obadiah's, then Howard's) and how that doubtlessly compounded his many neuroses from fixing messes that he did actually create himself is just
I have a lot of feelings
And am also feeling a little bitter and salty about how Tony Stark's MCU incarnation reportedly took some inspo from Elon Musk... and a little petty and satisfied about just how drastically we've all be shown that Musk can never live up to the idea of 'billionaire with inherited wealth who actually, without hesitation, risks his own life to save millions' that he tried to use PR to achieve in the media with 'my electric cars are gonna save the world' stunts about things he didn't actually have a hand in inventing
I'm just reading some fics I really enjoyed when I was still in the YA fandom, and there was a reference to a line Steve said in the movies and I started thinking (again) about how frequently fans take lines from Steve or Sam about Tony as gospel, because they haven't seen Tony's movies, and the lines from the star spangled boys are contextually meant to show that they don't know jackshit about Tony or his life, because they are directly contradicted by multiple prior films.
Also like... how often Steve's traumas get explored (in fic) in a way that Tony's just... don't? At most, his issues about Howard get explored, but that's it.
There's this moment in CACW that people take as Accurate and it infuriates me.
Tony Stark: [Back in the cell.] Just look. Because that is the fellow who was supposed to interrogate Barnes. [He shows a holographic image of Doctor Broussard.] Clearly, I made a mistake. Sam, I was wrong. Sam Wilson: That's a first.
Which, like... it's a bad movie. Obviously. But also
That line is immediately followed by Tony revealing that he's here to help the others and is sabotaging the security to make sure Ross can't take advantage, and yet fanfic still uses Sam's quote to promote anti-Tony agendas!
And 'Tony admits he fucked up' is. Like. Listen to me
Tony's first solo movie is fixing Obadiah's machinations. *
His second solo movie is fixing his Dad's fuckup.
His first team movie is fixing Thor's mistakes.
His third solo movie is fixing something that is only tangentially his fault.
It's not until AoU that the fuck-up is really his and his alone (well, not counting Bruce), and even then, even then, a massive portion of the blame is narratively laid at Wanda's feet!
And only then do we get this man, who has spent five movies seeing what happens when people don't take responsibility for their actions, or have anyone riding them to be ethical, who has criticized himself for neither having that oversight nor providing that oversight for people who snuck shit under his nose, that is when we get Tony weighing in on the side of "most countries on the planet are agreeing with this and it's for a reason, please work with me here, maybe we can get some of it rolled back to be less authoritarian and more reasonable."
* and removing himself from the military industrial complex he was raised and groomed to be in, but that's a system and not an individual act or a set 'villain'
Or as @firebirdeternal put it:
I would say that his first solo movie does have a large element of fixing his own mistakes too, it's just that his "mistake" was Trusting the Wrong Person and not taking personal responsibility for how his actions are affecting the world. (Which, he immediately does upon coming back from being captured? "We're going to immediately stop making weapons, because it's making the world worse" and then when Obadiah cuts him out of the company he goes "Oh. Okay no that didn't work, have to personally fix all this then.") and yeah it's just Tony have plenty of reasons to be on the side of "Someone needs to have oversight over this"
IM1 is such a good exploration of someone in privilege saying "this stops now" in a situation where they do have control because they have been confronted with their mistakes in a way that's unavoidable
It's also like, a great example of the fantasy of the Super Hero. Because Tony Stark, the businessman, even with all his wealth and knowledge, isn't able to stop the systemic harm being caused by His Own Company. One person isn't able to do that, even with the best of intentions. It isn't until he becomes something else, something more, a Super Hero, that he's able to make any kind of meaningful change on his own. Like IM1 is just a phenomenal movie. It understood it's subject material so incredibly well.
And people skip it and then take Steve and Sam at their word about Tony's strength of character and moral convictions and I scream.
THIS MAN FLEW A NUKE INTO A WORMHOLE WITH THE FULL EXPECTATION THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE
Yeah, like, that Jump on the Grenade mentality is something that he and Steve actually literally share.
They both had 'jump on the explosive to save people' moments in their introductory movies.
I find so much more strength and inspiration in stories like Thor and Tony, where they are inherently fuck-ups and were shitty people and they are trying so damn hard to be better, which is more Tony than Thor really, but both of them and their first movies are just. I find that more inspiring than Steve or T'Challa or any other hero who was already a good person and just Became Great.
Tell me about the person who has to struggle to find that moral choice. Tell me about Natasha dragging herself from her oceans of blood and Tony fighting the government over whether they have the rights to use weapons he's created and about Thor having to reckon with his family's power being born of imperialistic ravaging of other cultures.
I want to hear about the people for whom being good is hard and a choice they don't have to make, but then they make it anyway.
Also I stand by "I am Iron Man. [infinity snap]" being the most amazing bookend the MCU could have done and probably the best part of the Endgame.
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punkeropercyjackson · 23 days ago
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What's funny about Batcest defenders is they use the 'historical accuracy' excuse but Batcest hasn't actually had any longlasting,overt effect on Batlore or irl movements and thus is not a cultural aspect,neither to comics culture nor any other kinds of cultures.'Older gays thought of Robin and Batman as a gay metaphor in the early Batman comics days' is the one you'll hear the most but this was never a plot point in said runs and Bruce and Dick were established as having a mix between a brotherly bond and a father and son relathionship ever since Dick's debut issue and they were never written with anything but familial ties in mind and given no gay-coding that implied attraction to eachother specifically.Yes,Batman as a franchise frequently plays into camp but this was moreso in Bruce's gender presentation and mannerisms and interactions with his fellow male adult heroes and his villains like Clark and Harvey than anything to do with Dick.At the time these allegations were thrown,the awareness of children's rights and by extension what did and didn't count as child abuse was extremely low and inclined in favor of normalizing the latter due to the ageist dehumanization of kids and if you're going to include older gays' opinions on this,it's only fair you listen the younger gays of the time too lest you fall under the same ageist rethoric that got them abused-Or more specifically groomed,as what a romance within 'Batman and Robin' inherently is
It took literal decades for Batman and Robin to actually be written as a canon ship and the writer in question was ragingly racist at the time who very purposely employed romani heritage into the previously white Nightwing specifically to fetishize him further but has since apologized for this as well as her Batcest canonization,stating she was trying to cope with her own incestous csa trauma but went about it the wrong way.Tim/Cass was only canon pre-Cass adoption and discarded when the writers finalized they're decision to make Cass Bruce's adoptive daughter,Jason/Dick/Tim in any combo has zero canon depicitions despite there popularity,the closest thing to Damian Batcest is him brefriending a deaged Cass in the Harley Quinn 2019 comics but even then we're not truly given anything beyond friendship with them and Duke as an official Batkid has far more pagetime and grounding than any Batcest ship.And yet........So many Batcest shippers defend the erasure of the first ever black Robin,a legitamely revolutionary and major Bat-Addition and Batfact that is treated as such in-universe by the narrative(and by Jason 'I see a black boy and imma ride with and for him typa beat' Todd)and out of universe by black DC fans,as if the words of 'queer elders' they never met and were dangerously very possibly actual en masse pedophiles are more important to them that of black Batfans who exist with them,us and you today
If you were to bring up the Batfam to someone irl,their first thought would be 'Oh,it's Batman and his kids!!!',not to start talking about ships of them.In my experience,through cultural osmosis most people who don't read comics already know The Batkids are siblings and are puzzled,shocked and disgusted when they find out people ship them.Batman and Robin/Batgirl are not known as an 'otp' but as a dad and son/daughter duo almost universally even to non-superhero fans and it's pretty widely aknowledged in the case of Batgirl specifically they're a bad ship that ruins her character by reducing her down to a love interest for an older man according to those who've only watched animated adaptions and most of all by those who're heavily invested in Babs as a character i.e dedicated enough to read her comics.It's almost like.......Batcest is a defect,not a feature,and only comes along when bad writing strikes.........and is fueled by bigotry rather than queerness as seen by the racism in it's first insertion,the misogyny in the cishet versions and the antiblackness by the posers in the fandom..........and that trying to prove it as 'historically accurate' is something only done by chronically online predominantly white gooners with intersectionality issues who use gaslighting as their tactic...........Who woulda thunk incest wasn't actually an intentional element in a mantle created to be an escapist fantasy for children first and foremost,which is a legit kept historical part of it as seen by DC refusing to let anybody who's 18 or over hold it to the point of keeping Tim eternally 17........That's crazyyyyyy
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anime-simp-0 · 4 months ago
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when bakugo’s anti-villain s/o and him fight
i got this idea from the opposite version of this i did, bakugo’s anti-hero s/o. it really had me thinking how bakugo would react to someone who fits the anti-villain archtype; someone who has the noble goals but their means of attainment are evil.
well for starters, just like heroes have a ton of different sub-archtypes, so do anti-villains. in the most basic sense, i’m basing mine off of the concept that they have the right end-goal but not the right methods they are going about so i guess you could kinda consider them like mr. ferret boy draco malfoy. he, by nature, is evil. he has toxic traits and is overall a less then decent individual. however, if tiktok has shown anything, it is that people can still obsess over him. (sighs in dracotok)
regardless, in terms of bakubitch’s s/o, i dont think this makes them a bad person. just misguided. stain’s ideology was exposed to them at a vulnerable time and it just stuck and they turned in to a vigilante because no one had validly proven to them a better option. which led to constantly fooling around in the shadows and kicking ass but mainly for the purpose of catching twofaced hero’s that are actually really shady people, so all around a moral goal but not heroic action.
as to how bakugo would react to this, I think that it really depends on what stage Bakugo you are dating. Middle School? High school? Starting Hero? Experienced? And a large part of this differentiation is what he experienced at UA.
In middle school, he thought heroes were the good guys and they always did the right thing and he was going to be the #1. He was gonna be so perfect that they had no choice except to give him the title of perfection.
And then, UA happened. And he experienced the USJ and he saw firsthand what villains are like. Low level thugs, sure. But those villains didn't care if they killed everyone in that building. And then to see a monster so strong it could get hit by All Might at full force and not bat an eye. That's not even mentioning what happened at the summer camp. Not only was he kidnapped but had his life continuously toyed with for hours and the heroes took their sweet ass time to save him. All because they wanted to follow protocol, and he still managed to get away in the end. I don't think the protocol issues get any better with time either.
I think the older he gets, the more they piss him off. Because he's seen more. he's seen the damage wasting time can do. and i guarantee you there was a decision he makes in the future that costs someone their life because he decided to follow protocol and he never lets himself forget it. because that blood isn't on the commission's hands. it's on his. he was the one that made the call to listen to what the high and might's decided.
The experience also changes his definition of right and wrong. He starts to see everything through a different lens when it comes to why villains do what they do. Are they stealing from places because it's fun or the way they survive? Are they selling drugs because it's their hustle or because it's the only way they can provide. He also starts to see heroes in a different light as well. Are they saving people because they want to keep the city safe or because of publicity? Do they actually care about protecting individuals or is it about the money? And then you have the antivillains and antiheroes and all he can think is about the person who lost their life because he decided to follow the rules. But antiheroes and antivillains and vigilantes don't care about that kinda stuff. They don't have to follow the rules that they didn't sign up for. They don't have to go through the chain of command or rules and regulations. They have the freedom to do the right thing with no consequences ( unless they get caught that is ).
Truly though, I don't think you were aware Bakugo was a hero when you first started dating him, just like I don't think he was aware that you were a antivillain/vigilante. but i could totally see you both finding out because you were running from heroes after some shit and he managed to catch you and you both had a moment where you recognized each other and he couldn’t let you get caught so he let you go and stalled to buy you time. which, yea, lead to a pretty interesting fight. but you managed to talk and make it work. he made you promise to stop fucking around as long as he followed up on his end about taking care of the shitty heroes so you didn’t have to. having said that, i think that he also is still very strong in his beliefs that heroes are good. sure not all of them, but enough where being completely against heroes annoys the living shit out of him. so i think that many arguments would stem from you not liking some of the heroes he works with. whether that’s you doing the signature smart ass lines that make them uncomfortable or intentionally making it known you don’t like them.
hence why it was currently 1:32 in the morning and instead of being in bed with the hot headed prick you call your boyfriend, you were on the couch.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
the heated words from earlier still ring in your ears as you lay on the couch, looking out of the window and onto the city that lay below, glistening and active even at this time of night. a thin blanket was wrapped around your legs as bakugos shirt that was a few sizes too big left your legs exposed to the cold air in his apartment. you would have left after everything that was said but he had picked you up from your apartment and brought you to his earlier that day so now you were stranded and far too stubborn to ask for help from your friends, knowing they would want details you weren’t comfortable disclosing yet. instead, you decided to sleep on the couch and calm yourself by staring into the glass pane.
the details of your fight were still cloudy in your mind, but one thing was for sure. you both were not on good terms. after you made a backhanded joke about one of the heroes he had become friendly with, it was all over. it started with just about the one guy, then it became how you never liked anyone from his job, then it turned into you hating everything heroes and then, finally, bakugo said the thing that really set you off. “if you hate heroes so much, then do you even give a shit about me? if all heroes are so damn bad!” the things that came out of your mouth next were a mix of rapid fire insults and gabs at him, turning into a full out war of verbal assaults over something as simple as you not likely one of his work buddies.
it made you so angry, it almost made you cry. not because you cared. what? no! of course not! i mean, why would you, right? it’s not like the most important person in your life insulted you and one of the only things you truly believe in before having the audacity to ask if you even loved him-… oh wait… no. no, yea that is what made you cry. you sighed and rubbed your eyes, wiping away the tears before they had a chance to fall. you were angry at yourself. if only you hadn’t said anything. if only you didn’t snap back at him. if only you never said you didn’t like his new work partner. if only-
the sound of the bedroom door opening cause your attention before a bakugo, and frankly a quite grumpy and agitated bakugo at that, stepped out. but the sour expression faded off his face when he saw the tear that you hadn’t managed to wipe away.
“what do you want” you muttered before turning back towards the window and, as subtly as you could, wiping away the dampness from your cheek.
he went to speak multiple times before pausing with a slight growl and shuffling towards you. his sweats hung low on his waist and his hands were bunched up in his pockets as he flexed them, standing next to you on the couch.
“look…” he sighed. this kinda thing was never easy for him. he spent so much time condensing his feelings, being able to openly talk about them was weird on so many level that even after a year and a half of you two dating it still made him feel weird. “i.. shouldn’t have used your stuff against you… what you believe and support is what you do and… i can’t control that or change it. it’s just… i was pissed and wasn’t thinking straight… and i know that’s not a good enough reason to hurt you, i’m not saying it is i just…” he sighed again before taking a hand out from his pocket and rubbing his face “i know you love me, okay? i know that. you prove it everyday you deal with my hero shit or help with my cuts and scraps after a bad day or even just, fuck, staying. you didn’t leave. and i love you for that, okay? i do. i fucking love you with everything i have.”
your tempted to turn to look at him, to break and let a tear fall while you sit there but you don’t. he groans softly before taking his hand and lightly pressing his fingertips to your chin and turning your face towards him. “i’m sorry baby… i mean it. im sorry” he leans down and softly kisses your head before pulling away.
“don’t fucking do it again” is all you can manage before resting your head against him as his arms wrap around you.
“trust me, i don’t plan on it”
“i mean it katsuki” your voice was cold and sent a chill straight to his spine. “don’t question my love again. and don’t use my opinions against me. i love you enough to be with you even though you’re a hero but i love myself enough to walk away if I need to.” you paused and look up at him “don’t put me in a position where i have to be the bad guy. we both know i play the part too well.”
he nodded solemnly before taking a deep breathe. out of everything you had said to him in the last couple hours, that he knew was true. you were always labeled as a villain. not only by your peers but you family as well. when you manifested your quirk and it was far more powerful then anyone else in your family trees, they immediately wanted you to be a hero. to make money for them and be popular. and the second you said no, they turned on you so fast it gave you whiplash. you were so used to being put in positions where you had no choice but to be the bad guy. to do the non glamorous or even cruel thing to survive. he had become your safe space, but even he wasn’t foolish enough to believe you couldn’t live without him. hell, it was the other way around.
he had been laying in bed since you had had your fight, tossing and turning in the cold sheets and reaching for a body that wasn’t there, searching for warmth that was on a couch instead of wrapped in silk with him. he had tried to fight himself on it for hours now. but as much pride as he had, his ego crumbles before you. you mattered more than that to him. you mattered more then being right or proving a point. he needed you. you had become such an important part of him that the idea of you being gone made his heart stop. he was nauseous at the thought of opening the bedroom door and finding your things missing and shoes no longer by the door.
but right now with you in his arms, all he wanted to do was hold you. not for another minute or another hour. forever. he never wanted to breathe without you in his arms. he didn’t want to know what it felt like for you to exist without him. so he looked down at you slowly, his thumb rubbing back and forth against your skin as he held you against him. “I know…” he rested his head against yours, “i know.”
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krashlite · 11 months ago
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The brainrot took over and I spent all morning rambling/psychoanalyzing BigB and Grian cause they make me crazy
So it’s been established that Grian + Scar and Ren + BigB are soulmates. No matter what they will find each other- even outside of DL. Fate chose them and continues to choose them
Grian + BigB on the other hand are not soulmates, they just chose each other. It’s rare that they cross paths but typically they’ll stay nearby whenever they do.
3L had blue sword boys (BSB) which was the two of them and Martyn, though Martyn was the only one out of the three that called on the alliance. The desert’s first plan happened at BigB’s castle- an action that steered Scar away from BigB and towards Dogwarts even though aiming for BigB probably would’ve gotten them more immediate results- something I know damn well Grian shoots for. I like to think this was because B was Grian’s backup plan if Scar did die. “Your job isn’t to steal cookies, it’s to do murder” if that was the sole reason for changing targets then why not just attack BigB instead of stealing his cookie?
They didn’t cross paths on the battlefield iirc, even when the desert stormed Dogwarts for the final time. BigB was absent when the desert went sky high and was largely uninvolved in most of the war. Though he sided with DW he didn’t fully stand against the desert, he didn’t stand against Grian. And when the desert stormed DW, BigB was mostly on the outskirts of that fight, which I think was because he’s scared of combat. EDIT correcting myself here but BigB was in fact shot by Grian, even if unintentionally
The next time they see each other is when Scar comes along to sic Bdubs on BigB. The whole time Grian is begging BigB to “do something!!” And saying he can’t watch. EDIT 2 I watched the clip back and Grian specifically told him “don’t go out without a fight.” DON’T GO OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT.
Even after BigB panics and attacks him, Grian is still distraught over the fact that he’s gone. He even justifies BigB attacking him as it being revenge for the arrow
I’m also fascinated by B’s decision to attack Grian instead of the other two reds. Grian was the only yellow name left, which was probably the reason why B went for him over Scar or Bdubs. It could be a fun idea for BigB to see that he was never truly on the desert’s side and attack Grian as a response to that. Yes Grian was pleading for him to do something, but he made no actual attempt to save him. Grian was going to let them kill BigB, and B knew this
Anyways
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LL they didn’t really interact much- which does come into play during DL
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In DL Grian and BigB found each other day 1, but alas, not soulmates. But there’s a couple things established in their first interaction. Grian suddenly dropped like 6 hearts bc of Scar and started panicking asking for food. This established pretty much immediately that Grian’s soulmate wasn’t going to save him and BigB was.
BigB, on the other hand, though Grian’s disappointment, reads that Grian would have truly valued his company- not to mention how he knows that G would’ve taken the lead on things B feels he’s weakest at, considering they have past experience
Enter Ren! Ren is someone who truly does value and care about BigB but he is very bad at actually expressing this. He tries spinning negatives into positives instead of working through them- which isn’t a flaw necessarily but it is something that clashes with BigB
I would like to specifically point out that instead of listening to BigB when he said he doesn’t know how to build and teaching him some basics- Ren instead leans into the fact that BigB is bad at building. He decides they should make the ugliest base as a sort of inside joke but I can’t help but feel like BigB was a little hurt by that. He laughs along, but damn.. Ren intended this as some harmless fun but fails to recognize that it’s not what BigB wanted, nor what he needed. BigB does learn to love the base for all its goofiness because he loves Ren, and wants to be there for him
Box pretty quickly becomes about what Ren wants- not through malicious intent but because they have different personalities. Ren is very loud and outgoing while BigB is more reserved.
Ren is someone who tends to jump into things headfirst while BigB tends to follow. Ren also has a habit of not listening to people- something he did in past seasons as well. DW almost crumbled because he failed to listen to Martyn, he got tunnel vision in LL while building the shadow fort and failed to save Cleo- not even realizing she’d died when the betrayal happened on his front doorstep
BigB, on the other hand, needs to be listened to. Again, he’s a lot more reserved than other people but truly shines when he has a spotlight on him. LL was wonderful for this since, after his betrayal, the main plot thread of the fairy fort centered on him- on how his mistakes led to their demise and how it was up to him to fix the situation he caused. BigB stayed closer to his team than ever before, making sure that they knew he was trustworthy. However, B also ran away from the true issue, which was that he had betrayed Cleo. BigB was too scared to try to make amends with them after Cleo burned the fort to the ground, fearing for both his safety and the safety of his team.
Back to DL! BigB overcompensated for past mistakes by fully mirroring whatever Ren did, all the way down to getting a matching pair of sunglasses and dog ears. He didn’t agree with Ren’s decision to ban Pearl from Box, but stood by the decision since Ren had made it. Largely, BigB didn’t feel heard in the relationship- something that’s later discussed in couple’s counseling
Putting a pin in that!
On Grian’s side of things he is in! An entire mess. Not only is he paired with a past fling, but Scar is almost constantly causing problems for him. He’s taking large chunks of damage, getting himself into stressful situations for Grian, and Grian has to drag him everywhere in order to get them to get along. Scar wasn’t even going to base with him, he was perfectly content in them living in separate bases when Grian needed to stay with his soulmate. It comes down to safety for Grian- he doesn’t think he can rely on Scar to keep the both of them out of harm’s way. In fact, Grian has to hurt himself to be with Scar, even in their first interaction with the stalactite!!!!
Grian feels less like Scar’s partner and more like Scar’s mother, having to constantly watch after him and make sure he’s out of trouble. I think Grian even remarks that being with Scar is like watching over a toddler.
Scar’s behaving like this both to try and get Grian to be less uptight about every little thing and also as a means of getting back at him for said little things. Grian didn’t want the pandas in the house? Fine, he’ll hop in some powdered snow. Grian’s upset by him taking damage? Fine, he just won’t eat for a bit. Scar knows it’s not as serious as Grian’s making it out to be but does nothing to reassure Grian.
All this does is push Grian away, so it’s absolutely no surprise that Grian runs off. He tried! So hard! To fix the relationship and doesn’t see Scar putting in the same amount of effort. Again, Grian is his partner, not his caretaker. He shouldn’t be expected to constantly clean up after Scar
No G wasn’t perfect but goddamn
BigB on the other hand, has already been established as a Safe person. Both this season and in past seasons. Remember, Grian was completely absent from the fairy fort plotline, never actually crossing paths with the consequences of the betrayal. This affects both of them. Not only does Grian perceive him as safe, but BigB knows he has nothing to prove to Grian. He is loved regardless, while with Ren he feels the need to prove himself CONSTANTLY with little acknowledgement.
They both felt undervalued with their soulmate but were valued with one another. However, neither one of them wanted to actually leave their soulmate, which is where things get tricky. They were fully in the wrong for cheating on their soulmates, even if they did have a reason for doing so
But anyways
BigB got caught between Grian and Ren, the more he leaned to one side the more he lost the other. This is the same issue he had in 3L- coincidentally landing between the same people.
Both of them kept the other a secret to protect their peace more than their soulmate. Grian even goes as far as to gaslight Scar when Scar clearly knows he’s being cheated on. BigB also lies about Grian’s involvement in his and Ren’s 2nd death, leading Ren to focus solely on Bdubs.
Ren does this to find a target to defend BigB from rather than actually addressing the root of their problems- Ren’s inability to listen. He thinks that if he just Shows BigB how good of a soulmate he is, he can keep BigB at his side when that’s not what BigB needs. So now Box is caught in a cycle of trying to prove themselves to the other
Scar, on the other hand, doubles down on his behavior instead of making any changes. The only thing he does change is how much he listens to Grian. He basically becomes Grian’s lackey, which was meant to address the fact that Grian feels like he has no control over his circumstances. However, he fails to recognize that the reason G thinks he lost control is because Scar himself is a rogue element.
So both sides continue to get worse in trying to course correct- which causes both of them to get into increasingly dangerous situations
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Also side bar, in writing this I realized if you swapped Grian for Ren they would be perfectly functional on both sides- since Ren’s course correction matches what Scar needs and Scar’s course correction matches what Ren needs. Ren needs support while being a protector and Scar needs someone to stand by him. Grian needs someone who’s safe and BigB needs someone to guide him
It’s a really funny coincidence but anyways
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Ultimately it was Grian’s impulsiveness that did them in- all four of them. He set the trap at Box trying something ambitious, and he went to get a warden for a last hoorah. I like to think he was emboldened by the fact that the soulmate feature had less emphasis to him in those final episodes. He was thinking about BigB and not Ren and considered Scar entirely separate from him. It also doesn’t help that two of the three soulmate couples that stayed together- were either dead(ranchers), or distant from him(clockduo). Boat boys fed into his chaotic nature through being silly goofy guys
Even after Grian ended his season, BigB still forgives him. He still cares!!
I’m not normal about this season whatsoever
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In LimL they really don’t properly interact until the very end but we’ll get to that.
BigB’s POV really reinforces that Grian is a loose canon. This was established in DL but LimL reinforces this in a more Romanticized kind of way. Grian’s sort of framed as being dangerous in a fun way and not the “oh this one’ll kill me and dump my body off a bridge” kinda way. He’s a Bad Boy, not a Bad Guy
On the other side of things, Grian’s POV reinforces that BigB is “safe.” The only conflict he has with the Nosy Neighbors is the Judge Judy and Executioner plotline- which Grian doesn’t take seriously whatsoever. Meanwhile, the Bad Boys have conflict with literally everyone else on the server
So when Jimmy and Joel die, it is zero surprise that Grian comes running to BigB again! BigB can’t save him, he can’t even save himself, but goddamnit Grian still trusts him and BigB’s too nice for is own good
And once again!! It’s Grian’s impulsiveness that gets them killed
I would like to also point out the moment where B has 45 seconds left on his timer and while Pearl is desperately trying to save him, Grian sort of stands off to the side and gets ready to crit BigB out if he has to. Remember- Grian was fighting a losing battle to save his boys, it getting to the point where it just wasn’t worth the cost. He hesitated because he didn’t want to lose BigB but wasn’t quick to save him like Pearl was.
And honestly it’s no surprise that Pearl was so quick to give him time. She spent the last season completely on her own and had nobody to turn to. Everyone she tried to stay with turned her away, and BigB was arguably the only person who didn’t outright shun her. Remember, he was only going along with Ren’s decision and I think she knows this. Now in LimL, Pearl has him as someone she can fully rely on, someone who stays at her side no matter what and I also think she panicked at the idea of being alone. Grian has a habit of making selfish decisions, and she knows that won’t bode well for her if it’s just the two of them. Plus she fully understands the power of a sacrifice and what it means to others. Hell, her victory was given to her THROUGH A SACRIFICE. Pearl knows damn well the amount of kindness it takes to do something like that, so her jumping to save B makes complete sense
I also like to think this calls back to 3L, with Grian not moving to save him from Scar and Bdubs. In both situations, Grian thinks BigB was going down anyways and is too scared to do anything to save him. But while BigB couldn’t do anything then, he can do something now. Grian is grateful for the extra time but I can’t help but think this pushed BigB away
Pearl was the last of that trio iirc, with both BigB and Grian dying in clumsy ways
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SL they coincidentally wound up on the same corner of the map and most of BigB’s silly goofy behavior was directed at Grian but I really need to watch their POVs again to do a proper analysis so we’re putting a pin in that until later
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beacarrot · 2 months ago
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Yes, I think I'm doing it again. One day without you turned into a week, and soon it will become a month, but I refuse to let it stretch to a year, ten years… This text is another open letter to share my experience, especially the grief of losing Liam Payne.
I've been a One Direction fan since I was 14. I discovered the band because of Liam, who, back in his “fetus era,” looked like an Australian actor I had a crush on. One day, while browsing the internet, I came across the name “One Direction.” Honestly, I didn’t feel anything phenomenal in that moment; I had no idea how much that name would change my life and my youth as a whole. I didn’t imagine the hours of research, the nearly one hundred songs memorized, the posters, the fan theories I still hope are true, the Pinterest boards full of images, the photo edits of myself with the boys just to get a taste of what it might be like to be near those five special guys. Fanfiction, imagines… the list goes on.
In the beginning, I even mocked their songs, calling them cliché. A few months later, I knew all the lyrics AND the dance from “Best Song Ever" video clip. Life has a way of transforming our paths when we least expect it, when we’re lost enough for any path to seem fine. But life is generous and shows us the "right direction."
The truth is, it was October 16, 2024. I was coming home from school, crying, and, strangely enough, I had no idea that Liam had passed. I’d been introspective in recent days, reflecting on my last months at school and my amazing friends in class. I’d been listening to One Direction more than usual, and that very day I’d listened to “Stand Up”! I got home and was getting ready to go out again; it was almost 7 p.m.
I remember precisely: my mom looked at me with that expression she used to soften bad news, but it didn’t hide her own anxiety. She said, “I want you to hear this from me, but it’s not someone in the family.” I widened my eyes, jeans halfway on. I felt calm; if it wasn’t family, it wouldn’t hurt that much. But then she said it was something about the band and that one of them had fallen from a hotel balcony and was in bad shape.
My heart skipped one, two, maybe five beats. I don’t remember my tone of voice, but I know it was loud, trying to make my mom remember who it was. When she said “Liam,” I still thought, “Well, he just got hurt, but he’s alive, right?”
“Is he okay?” I asked, near panic. Truly, I wasn’t considering the possibility that he could have passed. But my mom’s words echoed: “No… unfortunately, he’s living with God know.”
My world stopped. I wasn’t even fully dressed, and I started shouting Liam’s name over and over, as if trying to confirm the reality, as if pleading for an answer from the heavens. I looked at the photo beside my bed, which I’ll include in this post, and messaged my friends who were also fans. I cried uncontrollably. I smoked so much in those days that I literally got sick, with a sore throat. Only my mom, my friends from youth group, and school saw my true state. Edu, thank you for putting up with my grotesque sobs on your shoulder. I adore you, friend!
The first night was a nightmare, a heavy and negative energy settled in, but I was clinging to the hope that with sunrise, something might change. But it didn’t. The sun rose, and I relived everything in my head, going over the story, just wishing it was truly a nightmare. I think no one has the right to talk about someone else’s pain. Grief is an individual experience, full of complicated nuances.
I’ve been alternating between suffering, crying to the point of dehydration, listening to the songs while every line hurts. There’s the denial phase, when it feels like it didn’t happen; that Liam is out there somewhere, and we’re still in 2012. Then, the reality drops like a piano falling. And there’s anger: “Is this real? He was so young!” And finally, moments of acceptance, when I smile at the memories and look at the photos, though I’m not completely there yet. Grief isn’t a straight line; you repeat and get lost in these stages, and no one should blame themselves for that.
People have lost the capacity for empathy and humanity. It doesn’t matter if Liam didn’t know me; I knew him. Not personally, of course—he had layers, and that’s one reason we couldn’t imagine how he was self-destructing. But he was a singer with an amazing stage presence, always sweet and attentive with the fans, a real warrior in his personal life, and he certainly made his share of mistakes. He lost his way on the crazy road of life, fame, money, media, relationships, addiction; it drained the hope from that 16-year-old boy who didn’t give up on "The X Factor". Liam is a legend.
There are days I can laugh, listening to the songs and remembering their silly dances, like when I watched “This Is Us” two days after his death. I thought I’d cry, but those boys never make me cry; they only make me smile. What makes me cry are the circumstances surrounding 1D. On other nights, I cry knowing there was nothing I could do. The closest I ever got to him was in a dream once, where the boys were having a party at my house. Liam was sitting in the corner of my room, the same spot where I was when I found out he’d passed. I walked over, asked him about Louis and Zayn, and hugged him. It was a sweet, protective hug. That’s my comfort: imagining his face painted in the beautiful blue sky, knowing he was lost and needed rest. I’ll continue with my contradictory life, and when things get hard and tough here on Earth, I’ll smile because he'll be far away and safe, no longer needing to deal with it all.
I’m still hesitant about watching his funeral online. Since finding out, I’ve stepped back from social media. It cleanses my soul to know I didn’t contribute to the hate, negative energy, dirty jokes, or nasty comments thrown his way, in real life or online. I learned from Liam; I let myself be touched by his essence, loving him completely, and I learned to see the world through the lens of songs and art. Words won’t be enough, Liam. This is not a defective goodbye. I still need you, and even if I can’t see you with my eyes, you’ll live forever.
I can't post something that is not just about it, but I will just continue posting some things because they were already ready before I knew about his death.
Gratitude and strength to all!
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I don't like to put black pictures blank in these moments because I don't think it's right black and white because Liam brought and still bring so much color to us.
We love you Liam, our eternal red.❤️
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