#listen. when I hyperfixate? I HYPER-FUCKING-FIXATE

[uupiic]

Oh it IS.

For me, it was mostly the family, and their friends. Nothing makes you shut up about special interests like being told to stop blabbing about ''that shit'' and being mocked about taking changes in daily routine (very often regarding said special interests) harshly :) Or being mocked for liking the wrong thing :) Or your mother asking her half-baked psychologist friend and her drunkard friend (not the same friend, thank the fucking gods) advice on "how to stop her from doing that, so she'll be normal" :)

Somebody actually threw one of my HP books (that was long before the whole... *gestures at the whole naziterf shitshow*) because reading was cringe. Not HP (that one was actually cool), but specifically reading. Yeah. An adult. Threw a kid's book. Across the room. Because what fucking nerd likes reading, am I right, y'all?! (I still remember it was TPoA btw; had a biiiig hyperfixation on that book for some reason IDK either)

I have yet to get to the part where I can google that stuff in peace, tho, you're way ahead of me there. (I also suspect this is why it's hard for me to put character names down when writing fanfic)

[evilyn-is-gay]

Anyone want some cute/funny ass headcanons in my TSAMS Reality (reality shifting)?

Cuz here you go

Dazzle:

- I play with them and Jack, we’re like a legion of chaotic children (I keep them in check)

- We sometimes snuggle

- They taught me how to do a turnsie!

- They like pets (like on their head)

- They love it when I draw them (we have little drawing sessions, they have a really charming chibi style that a child would use)

- Sometimes steals my Therian tail and runs around with it

- I keep all the drawings they give me

Sun:

- Pansexual but is so fucking oblivious (EXAMPLE: Sun: Oh he has a neat design. Moon: … why are your fans whirring louder- Sun: What do you mean? Moon: It’s obvious you’re attra- Sun: Dramatic gasp and the whirring gets louder as his face heats up WHAAT??? NOOOO)

- Sits in the closet in his room to be covered in plushies when he needs to calm down

- Big squishy and plushie collection (Lets everyone borrow)

Moon:

- Aro/ace but MIGHT like men a little

- Bro listens to music to cope (me too bro 😔)

- Hyper fixated on science (and has since he discovered it while conjoined with Sun in the first year)

- Has a huge collection of fidget toys

- Sometimes he’s trying to explain something but he says it in his head or just says gibberish thinking we understand

- Has fictional ‘crushes’ but it’s just like ‘yo he’s hot I think’ and Sun goes ‘… what’

- Whenever he’s mad he walks into his room (or any room with a pillow/blanket) and screams into it and just comes back out like nothing happened (If he didn’t he would actually explode and start to stim aggressively) (EDIT: I love that this is canon now)

- Did actually enjoy having a tail as a furry but would never say it aloud

- Listens to that one song that used to play for intros to sleep

- His pupils get bigger when he’s excited like a cat (same with the opposite)

Lunar:

- His hyperfixation on bean bags is fading away and he desperately needs a new one (I want to get him to read fanfic)

- His hyperfixations over time are: Bean bags, plushies, LOL dolls, Trolls, Stars, Astrology, creepy pasta, cooking, art, phobias, Baldi’s basics, slime, and ASMR

- Listens to ASMR videos as he charges

- Forgets that not everyone is an animatronic sometimes and says things to kids that don’t make sense

- Will infodump about the weirdest shit (Last night i dreamed i was a bottle of ketchup ass shit)

- Steals my clothes and wears them around the house when he washes his (he just wears my sweaters and those donut pants I have)

- Even when he isn’t washing his clothes he sometimes wears my huge purple sweater thing

- His favorite types of ASMR are wood soups, slimes, and ones that ask questions like an interview

Earth:

- When in distress she floofs up her hair too much and it sticks out weird

- Has HUGE plushies she snuggles

- Has a habit of sticking her face into things that look soft

- loves stardew valley, Animal Crossing, and those Roblox games that are really aesthetically pleasing

- Mental disorders are her special interest/hyper fixation and she spouts it to me

- Her Roblox character is stunning and looks beautiful, she worked on it for a while

- Plays along with ASMR Roleplays

- Tingle immune 😔

- Talks to a Monty plushie when she’s upset, another coping mechanism she picked up

Solar:

- Doesn’t understand some pop culture references due to being isolated by his Moon

- Finds this universe Monty as a significant upgrade to his

- Draws himself as a human

- Amazing at art like holy shit (style is sorta like all the thumbnail artists mixed together)

- Has Aphantasia (BECAUSE I DO AND I NEED REP)

- This has happened → Moon: Hey Solar, have you seen Candice? | Solar: … Who’s Candice..? | Sun: MOON NO. | Moon: CANDICE DI- (Solar slapped him in the face afterwards)

Bloodmoon:

- has been high (I will not elaborate)

Castor:

- “Lunar, what’s a ‘skibidi rizz’?” *COMPLETELY DEADPAN AND MONOTONE*

There’s other characters but these are fun/cute ones 😭😭😭

I know these aren’t canon (a lot of the stuff in general in these aren’t canon and have been debunked) but I don’t care and they’re still part of this so fuck you

[worldenough-and-time]

Fic Song Tag Game

Thank you @spindrifters for the tag!! This is gonna be unhinged jsyk, basically half these songs actually inspired the fic and the other half happened to be my hyperfixation song during an intense period of writing so they do not relate lyrically at all, but the vibes… the vibes.

True Blue by Boy Genius

But it feels good to be known so well

I can't hide from you like I hide from myself

I remember who I am when I'm with you

Your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue

Okay obviously I have to include the song that TTTB gets it’s title from. You’ve never done me wrong!!! Except for that one time!!!! Genuinely the sapphic Wolfstar anthem… what else can I say….

Body to Flame by Lucy Dacus

Longing for your short hair to grow back to the way you like

Thank you for the gesture

I regret ever implying that you could be better

Didn't mean to empty your perfect body

And fill it with my passing will

Easily won, weary of losing, gullible girl

Weak and alluring, well, we break our rules

Get drunk in the dark

Laughing aloud at the spinning stars

Ok this one is scary- so what happened is I wrote two scenes for TTTB before I ever heard this song, and then Mel read them and then she listened to this song and she was like “dude… this song is about your fic and those two scenes specifically” and I was like “haha yeah it’s Lucy Dacus, the Queen of Sapphic Pining” but then I listened to the song and like… the specificity. They lyrics match up exactly. You will see when we get to fourth and fifth year, but, Lucy, my wife, we were drinking from the same mother lake…

Vampires by Tommy Lefroy

And I know you

I know you

I know you know

I know you feel everything

Okay so this one has the above lyrics, which became a sort of source code for TTTB Sirius. I associate this song with her and it helped to ground my writing of her character in the first couple chapters. Anyway I love her, also Tommy Lefroy rules, they’re gonna get big, I just know it.

Holland, 1945 by Neutral Milk Hotel

The only girl I ever loved…

This one has absolutely jack shit to do with anything related to this fic, but I was deeply hyperfixating on it back in January when I was first outlining TTTB, sooo yeah. I also wrote the first scene I ever wrote for this fic while listening to this song on repeat at my favorite coffee shop.

The Bench by Like Roses

Break down with me on the phone

Just like we did those nights when I was at home

This is another one that lyrically doesn’t have much to do with anything, but really helped me achieve the specific angsty headspace I needed to be in to write the year one Christmas chapter when Sirius goes home to Grimmauld Place. Also the above lyrics really gave me ‘prongsfoot talking through the mirrors’ vibes. I know this song is actually about addiction, like I’m aware.

Francis Forever by Mitski

I don’t think I could stand to be

Where you don’t see me

Mel texted me in a panic because she had read a snippet of a scene I wrote from sixth year and then listened to this song in close succession and she said that she had never really listened to these lyrics before, or she didn’t fully get what they meant, until she read that snippet and thought about this song and had a breakdown. Anyway, something for y’all to look forward too. Post prank vibes, delicious angst.

Honorable Mentions go to:

The entirety of Transgender Dysphoria Blues by Against Me- nothing is more punk rock than being transgender and if you haven’t listened to this album yet, do yourself a favor and turn that shit up right now. Fucking bangers all the way through.

Dreamt We Were Closer by Ash Tuesday- look it’s not my fault that this is a Wolfstar song, okay???

For Sale: Ford Pinto by Rosie Tucker- my current hyper-fixation song, idk what will come of it yet but it is a whole vibe.

Tagging Mel @capacity-for-wonder who is on her honeymoon but will never miss a chance to make a playlist.

[idiot-in-the-walls]

Me to my friend’s hyper fixations:

Friend: rambling abt current hyper fixation

Me: listening patiently, even though I don’t care

My friend to my hyper fixations:

Me: speaks one word of the current hyper fixation

Friend: changes subject and completely ignores the fact that I want to talk about smthn that I love

Me:

Me: Bitch do I do this to you?

Let me ramble, please. I don’t have anyone else to talk abt it to, and it’s so fucking annoying when she does this, and it’s even MORE annoying when she says “you let me ramble abt *insert hyperfixation*, I let you ramble abt EPIC”. Like. No you don’t. You change the subject and you’re not even paying attention to me at all. At least I make eye contact, CONSTANTLY talk about it, unlike you. God just let me talk about it without getting shunned.

[jinxed-venting]

*Just as a note, most of what I'm going to say is targeted at people in the notes who apparently don't know what a hyperfixation is. "Hyperfixation" refers to a medical symptom of autism and ADHD (which are neurodevelopmental disorders), plus some mental health disorders. Hyperfixations aren't healthy, and frankly people need to stop acting like they are. Just because I have sideblogs for my hyperfixations doesn't mean they don't negatively impact my life. Hyperfixations aren't "I eat, breathe, and sleep this shit," hyperfixations are debilitating obsessions that interfere with your life and sometimes even your ability to function as a human being.

Hyperfixations, as a symptom of a neurodevelopmental disorder, aren't healthy. They're an obsessive fixation on a specific thing, whether that thing is good or bad.

I've lost sleep over hyperfixations. I've hyperfixated on plane crashes caused by bombs (Pan Am Flight 103 for example), and did so while I had family taking a plane to travel out of state which absolutely demolished my mental health. I've forgotten to eat, drink, or even go to the bathroom because I got so hyperfixated on something.

You're acting like hyperfixations are inherently healthy, which they aren't and never are, it's why they're a symptom of a disorder.

In addition to all this, I personally find it incredibly difficult not to ramble to anyone who will listen about my special interests and hyperfixations. If someone will listen, I will talk their ear off about zoology, Sonic, medicine, and whatever else I feel like talking about. Shit like this makes me self-conscious about that, to the point I don't even share those interests with my dad because he commented on it once when I was like 12. Yeah, explain that some aspects of a hyperfixation or special interest are unhealthy, but don't fucking tell someone "stop hyperfixating on this" or "stop talking about this" because it causes lasting issues. You should've told this individual the issues with how they were talking about this person, not told them to quit a hyperfixation???

Additionally, to anyone who thinks this sounds like a regular crush: I've had hyperfixations function like this. I ditched Sonic for a year after two years of hyperfixating on it off and on because the fandom was toxic and I didn't want to deal with it anymore. Additionally, I've had crushes, and maybe it's just because I'm more introverted but I don't talk about my crushes like that. As someone who's experienced multiple hyperfixations in my 20 years of life, Anon is accurately referring to their classmate's fixation as a hyperfixation. The fixation being on a person doesn't make it not a hyperfixation and "crush" and "hyperfixation" aren't mutually exclusive, fuck off.

Also, everyone in the notes acting like a hyperfixation needs to be "okay" or "morally right" (including the person who submitted the original post) is ableist. That's not how hyperfixations work. Autistic people don't control our hyperfixations (or special interests for that matter). Acting like autistic people or people with ADHD can just stop hyperfixating on something at the drop of a hat is ableist because that's not how hyperfixations fucking work. Did you miss the "hyper" at the beginning of the word hyperfixation??? Hyperfixations are obsessive and not easily broken, that's why they're considered a fucking symptom. The person Anon is referring to didn't have the person they were fixated on get mad and then they stopped, Anon confronted them which made them upset, then the person they were fixated on got mad and they stopped. It wasn't a sudden thing and hyperfixations aren't always long-term in the first place.

In addition to ALL of this, we don't know how much this hyperfixation the person Anon is talking about had negatively affected their life, but it sounds like it negatively impacted it significantly. THAT'S A HYPERFIXATION.

In conclusion, if you're one of the people who think hyperfixations and crushes are mutually exclusive, or you think hyperfixations should always be healthy and morally okay:

Aita for telling an autistic classmate to stop having a certain hyperfixation?

This happened awhile ago but I'm curious.

A bit of a background: They're autistic and in the year below me, I'm not autistic but neurodivergent nonetheless (my diagnosis isn't important here), so this isn't a case of a neurotypical person getting fed up with an autistic person's hyperixations. You see, their hyperfixation was on a specific person, a friend of theirs. They'd talk about this person 24/7, everything was about that person. Which, would be fine and all, if the way my classmate talked about the person wasn't incredibly objectifying. It was all about how the person was so attractive, how my classmate just wanted to steal them away, etc. I was right in the middle of a toxic, codependent friendship with someone who claimed I was his hyperfixation (meaning he was romantically and sexually obsessed with me despite me already being in a romantic relationship). The way my classmate was talking about their person reminded me of how my "friend" would talk about me, and I knew it made me feel like an object with no worth outside of that friend. I didn't want that for this person, and I didn't want my classmate to hurt them by talking about them this way. So I told them, essentially, that they need to quit having that hyperfixation because it will make the person you're obsessed with feel like crap. I didn't mention why I felt this way or anything, they didn't ask- simply responding "Oh." My classmate seemed really upset about what I said, but continued talking about the person nonstop until they did something that made my classmate mad, which caused the hyperfixation to go away. I don't talk to the classmate anymore since they moved and we don't have much in common anymore or anything.

My classmate had never hurt anyone as far as I knew, and I'm fully aware I could've been projecting my experience. Whatever the verdict is won't really change much, but it might help me approach situations like this better.

So, aita?

What are these acronyms?

[dangerous-advantage]

Ranking the Best Video Game Soundtrack of All Time*

ehm.

by all rights, i should not be taking the time to do this. it's finals week, i have an essay due by midnight, and i have fifty other things to do related to my current hyperfixation.

there is no audience for this. nobody here cares about my opinions relating to video games or their soundtracks. all this does is serve as a reminder to my mutuals that i am, in fact, back on my bullshit (and also never stopped.)

(thank you guys please i swear i'll write something relevant to my current hyper fixations eventually, but for now, here this is instead.)

i present to you: my ranking of the original plants vs. zombies soundtrack.

i could talk about a lot of things pertaining to why i am doing this, but i've decided to not do that, and leave at, simply: pvz is one of my all-time favorite games, pop cap deserved better (fuck you ea) and if you haven't played pvz, i highly recommend the $5 computer version on steam (that and also peggle. play peggle right now.)

anyways, generally people will explain their criteria and stuff but i am basing this off of vibes alone. i'll be linking the songs via the images, so hopefully you can click on the images and be able to hear them.

(i would also recommend you listen to these songs, even if you don't read through this, because you deserve it. yes they're that good.)

without further ado, let's get into it.

1. Crazy Dave [Main Theme]

(Note: Plays during main menu.)

Though my ears have been dulled to this song via the many times I've listened to it, one cannot deny the instant recognition. Anyone who has played PvZ knows this song.

As you click the petals off of the flowers in the main menu or watch the lawn grass roll open across the loading screen, it plays. Embodying the ideas of PvZ as a concept. This is not just a simple tower defense game, despite what one might think. It's a masterpiece. And this song embodies that masterpiece.

The melody is short, but familiar. Jazzy and intriguing, but light. Playful. In it, we only begin to see the genius of Laura Shigihara's compositions. It's basic, but catchy (especially the end part -- you know what I'm talking about.)

Final Rating: 6.4 brains (out of 10)

2. Crazy Dave's Greeting

(Note: You guys know when this plays. And if you don't, it's when your neighbor, Crazy Dave [as seen above] is talking to you. Now go play the game.)

This is criminally underrated in the way of PvZ music. I know it's technically nothing more than a sting, but I'm trying to be thorough, and not including it feels wrong.

It's simple, barely eight seconds, and plays behind Dave as he talks. And yet, despite that, it's so incredibly snazzy that you can't help but bop along to it. That, as you already know (or will soon see, proven over and over again) is simply a testament to Laura Shigihara's creative (and lone) genius. My only complaint is that I wish it were longer.

Final Rating: 6.73 brains (out of 10)

3. Choose Your Seeds

(Note: Plays as you are choosing your seeds. What else is there to say?)

Admittedly one of the weaker tracks, if only for the repetition. It isn't terrible and fits the mood of what is happening fine, but can be irritating if you let it play too many times over. Not something you would loop just to listen to. It does, however, hype you up spectacularly for the upcoming level music (especially on "boss levels," but we'll get to that.)

It's a simple piano, reminiscent of the main title track, with a slow, dragging feel. It doesn't rush you, or demand attention. It just stands by as you frown at your seeds and plan your upcoming strategy with the seeds you can pick. In endless mode, this track becomes your friend -- a moment of relief within the madness.

Final Rating: 5.7 brains (out of 10)

4. Grasswalk

(Note: Plays during first stage of game, levels one through ten -- "Day." Alternate version, 'Grasswalk [Horde], plays when "a huge wave of zombies is approaching.")

Did you expect to hear the announcer groan, " The zombies... are coming..." at that one specific part? Could you hear it in your mind but not in your ears? Of course you could. It's ingrained into your very bones, isn't it?

This track starts out fine. Good, even. It's simple, plodding. Something to put on and nod your head slowly. It doesn't demand too much attention. It knows you're just starting, or just coming back, and are getting used to everything, and it lets you. It allows you to.

But it builds, too. Slowly. Enough for you to barely notice, to think, "Hm. I wonder where this is going." And then, that part hits, dully cementing the greatness of this song. It's just long enough for you to look forward to hearing it again, breaks up the repetition. And you think, "This is pretty great! If all of the songs are like this, I think that would be pretty cool!"

And then the rest of them are better.

Final Rating: 6.9 brains (out of 10)

5. Victory Jingle

(Note: Plays when you win a level/obtain a new seed packet.)

Again, technically not a song, but how could I not include this? When that last zombie falls and you've just planted that last plant to make perfect, symmetrical rows of plants, bopping proudly to the earth's heartbeat, and you click on that new seed packet -- could not think of a more perfect jingle than this.

It's light, energetic, but final. It's a smug, proud thing, tilting up your chin as you think, "Heh, that was easy," or "Hell YEAH I fuckin' SURVIVED that!" Either way, it feels deserved. It's also probably something you would want to learn how to play on piano, just because it's such a cool little sting. There's no reason for it, you just like it.

Final Rating: 9.4 brains (out of 10)

6. Loonboon

(Note: Plays during fast-paced mini-games, such as wall-nut bowling [as seen above. Apparently inspired by Metroid, Laura's cat, zooming around the house.)

You know it. You love it. It's there, bright an energetic, as you line up your shots to take down as many zombies in a row as you cam (who doesn't love the satisfying sound of wall-nuts crashing into zombies?) Not much else to say, really.

I will say: this soundtrack, while not the most anxiety inducing (don't worry, we'll get there) does certainly fill me with a sense of manic, potential energy. A lot of the other soundtracks are more chill, even the energetic ones, but this one is fast-paced enough that you worry you won't be able to keep up.

Final Rating: 7.5 brains (out of 10)

7. Moongrains

(Note: Plays during the 'Night' level stages. Alternate version: Moongrains [Horde] plays when, y'know. The zombies are coming but more worryingly.]

We all remember our first time, being introduced to the night levels. The horrible realization that, oh shit, sun doesn't fall from the sky? Crazy Dave, are you sure about this?

This track feels like PvZ at night. There's no other way to explain it. It's a sneaky track. For tiptoeing. As you fall into the rhythm of the new play style and begin to fall in love with the new repertoire of shrooms and other fungi offered to you during these levels, this song allows that level of mysteriousness and excitement that you come to expect from PvZ. Glorious.

Fits right along with the night-time plant ambience, my favorite of which being the crumble of gravestones being digested. That, or the sound sun shrooms make when they grow up. (Though, who could forget, the disco theme.)

Final Rating: 7.59 brains (out of 10)

8. Watery Graves

(Note: Plays during the pool stages (day). Alternate version, Watery Graves [Horde], plays when, um... you should hopefully be able to figure it out by now. It's also a complete fucking banger, btw.)

Ah, the pool levels. Just when you had the hang of the night levels, too. Personally, when I think of PvZ level tracks, this is the one my mind returns to. It's just so good. Adding those lower, 'doo-doo, doo-doo' undertones as it builds into the FUNKIEST piano you will have ever heard. You bop your head, thinking, wow. And then it's not even done! It keeps going! It stays new and interesting through the entire time, with its unique vibe, but also that mysterious PvZ vibe that carries through all of the songs.

Honestly, this track is just phenomenal. I can hear that "ding! ding! ding!" in my head just by thinking about it. It has a tropical vibe, almost, which makes sense. Also, lowkey reminds me a bit of Sunflower's song (you know the one.) And the light percussion... just a masterpiece all around.

Nothing but good things to say about this track. Absolutely spectacular. One of my favorite levels to play, strategy-wise (and plant-wise! Some banger plants here, top ten (not bought) plants come from these levels.) I don't even want to move onto the next one yet, just want to keep listening to this on loop.

Final Rating: 9.3 brains (out of 10)

9. Rigor Mormist

(Note: Plays during the pool (night) stages, also called the fog levels. Here's the alternate Horde version.)

The fog levels. Incredibly terrifying to me as a child, still innately horrifying, but less so because I'm really good at this game now. I would still honestly say these are my least favorite levels, but I might just be biased because of my childhood fear.

The song, though? You hear Moongrains and think, yeah, that's PvZ at night. You hear this and think, haha, I'm in terrible danger. You watch the fog quietly encroaching, and even though it's not worth it to invest in plants that would light the way and is probably better to just guess and pray, you want to. You make sure to always have enough sun in case you need to pull out the Blover that you probably should have switched for a more practical plant with the excuse of "balloon zombies," but you know the truth.

You'll be fine, right? I mean, sure, you're straining your ears and hoping that you get enough Cactus plants down (which you also shouldn't have invested in, but you're driven by fear) before you hear the first "fwoosh" of a balloon going up when you hear this godforsaken sound and it's fine, everything is fine. I mean, it's not like it can be any worse than this, right?

Final Rating: 8.7 brains (out of 10)

10. Stage 4 / Level 10

(Note: Where it gets worse.)

PvZ is by no means a horror game, (despite the zombies.) This is also not a song. In fact, this is the only level in the game almost entirely devoid of music. The only things you hear are the zombies, fog level ambience, and the rain. After playing the level enough, it becomes easy. Simple.

But that first time. The shocking lack of sound. The darkness taking over the screen. It's such a well-done bit of atmosphere. Calming, but simultaneously terrifying. The more zombies that appear and the longer the seconds between flashes of lightning...

Usually, level ten of each stage is accompanied by a certain soundtrack (which I'll get to later) that's bright, upbeat, and energetic. It feels victorious. You were expecting that, but now you realize, it would feel out of place here.

Final Rating: 9.68 brains (out of 10)

11. Cerebrawl

(Note: Plays on certain mini-games, such as the "I, Zombie" mini-games. According to Laura, it plays on the more "cerebral" levels.)

Don't have much to say here, but this bop doesn't need my platitudes. It can stand on it's own two feet just fine. Needless to say, this track fucks. It falls right on that line between spooky and funky that Laura has perfected. Plus, it's in one of top favorite mini games (along with several other bangers, such as "It's Raining Seeds," "Beghouled Twist," "Zombiequarium," and others.)

Final Rating: 8.5 brains (out of ten)

12. Graze the Roof

(Note: Plays during the roof levels. Here's the Horde version.)

Y'ALL KNOW WHAT TF IS UP!! GodDAMN, have I been waiting for this one (and you have, too. Don't lie to me.)

By this point, you're wondering, "Wait, there's more? We've done both the back and front lawns, and night and at day? What else could possibly be left?" And then it pulls out the roof. And with it comes Graze the Roof.

It's a culmination of everything you've grown to love about PvZ, but more. This track is so good. Laura does not fuckin' MISS, and this song? With these levels? The Roof levels are some of my favorites, and the music is a big part of that. I mean, also, obviously, the gameplay, but like. Come on. It's so damn good. Hell-to-the-yeah.

Final Rating: 9.72

13. Ultimate Battle

(Note: Only plays during the tenth level of each stage, the "final stage" of each.

If you've gotten to this point, you've probably been waiting for this. Actually, let's be for real: everybody has been waiting for this. When you get to the tenth level of stage one and this comes on, it's like you've been remade. The world will never be the same again. Because this music exists, and now you've heard it.

This track is the reason I replay the main story levels instead of just focusing on endless. I actively look forward to playing the tenth level because of this track. I will go back and play through each stage just so I can get to this point and play the conveyor belt levels.

For one glorious level, you don't give a shit about strategy or sun. You take the plants they give you, put 'em on the screen, and watch huge swathes of zombies battle your excessive amounts of plants as this BOP plays in the background. It's literally amazing. Thank you, Laura. This is... beyond words.

Final Rating: 100,000 brains (out of 10)

14. Zen Garden

(Note: Only plays during the Zen Garden mini-game.)

Calm before the storm here. Just a nice, chill song, for a nice, chill mini-game, that's actually more rewarding than most other "zen-garden" games I've played. It's just... nice. Calming.

Final Rating: 7 brains (out of 10)

15. Brainiac Maniac

(Note: Boss battle music.)

As @gamer-guy2873 in the comments section so artfully puts it: "Everybody gansta til the note is written in cursive with proper grammar."

This is a culmination of vibes, having fully pulled away from that spooky feel to a more energetic, active feel. You're gonna fight this guy. You've been training for this the entire time. And you get an absolute banger to do it with.

The more energetic feel plus the softer, more "smooth" sections brings the roof vibe together with the original vibes presented to us during the very first levels. In a lesser song, these sections would clash. But this is no "lesser song." No. This is art.

Final Rating: 9.89 brains (out of 10)

16. Zombotany (Unreleased Track)

(Note: Unreleased track. You probably haven't heard it before, and it's great, so go and do that!)

I feel like we were robbed. Hello? Hello? This is excellent. The lighter, funky feel, with the spy-esque undertones behind it? I would have loved this, playing PvZ as a kid. I mean, I do now, so I definitely would have then.

The fake-out starts and stops? The little bits of off-key notes? All arranged into this masterpiece. The little bits and peices of audio effects weaved within it? Man, this is just amazing, honestly.

Final Score: 9.6 brains (out of 10)

17. Zombie on Your Lawn

(Note: Roll credits, bitches.)

That's right. We're here, finally. Done. If you've slogged through this (or skipped over if for fear of having to spend an inordinate amount of time reading through a post about plants vs zombies/accidentally opened the read more, not realizing the level of commitment required), good job. This song serves as both a thank you and also end, which is fitting.

What can be said about this song that hasn't already? It's excellent. All of these songs are excellent. Watching the music video after defeating Zomboss was truly an experience my seven-year-old brain was not equipped to handle.

I love this game. Maybe it's nostalgia, maybe it's the music, maybe it's a lot of things. But objectively, these songs are amazing. Go check out Laura and support her if you can -- she's over on Twitch at supershigi, if that's something you're interested in.

Anyways, it's three in the morning here. I'll check for mistakes when I'm less dead. For now, let's end this already horribly long post.

Final Rating: 9.8 brains (out of 10)

(*in my opinion)

[sadisticyouko]

"dont be afraid to reach out im mostly normal!" number one way to directly not appeal to me JGKZJF /JKJK LMAO but u should know back when i first made my tumblr my url was weirdobsessivenerd and Weirdo was literally what i went by as my name (then i discovered kinning and started going by rouge and now also kurama lol) so like. im Absolutely one to embrace weirdness and encourage it in others, so! dont hold back that unhinged-ness! its precisely what draws me to people HFKHZKG when i say Chill i absolutely mean someone that feels like theyd probably be easy to just relax n be myself around. hang out being Cool Bros. which basically equals being unjudgemental and a bit of a freak (said absolutely positively but i wont use that again if ur uncomfortable with being called that!!)

but ANYWAYZ yeah sending out asks n responding through that feels a lot less...... contained? whatever the hell that means for Conversations but its the vibe lol. exactly like what u were saying. its like im pokin my head out of my lil fox den and yelling out across the field instead of inviting someone inside bgksbfjnzf also yea i totally get the social battery thing thats Super how it is for me too. if were ever chattin n u just drop off out of nowhere and show back up in a couple days continuing the same convo i will not judge bc i Super Relate JFKHSJF

also im not like Super exactly like my kins all the time its more like an internal thing. they may not always reflect me but i still get the feeling of Thats Me. cant always explain it tjjsbf then theres the case of some kins of being exactly how i am irl and some i connect to so hard for one reason or another that i just absorb all of their characteristics into myself bkdjfkd i have a lot of mha kins bc it was my Big Hyperfixation before yyh completely steamrolled over everything in my brain lol, most of them are lower kins tho but my bigger ones are def himiko, la brava, ochako, and shoto!

tbh i kinda wonder how into yyh i woulda been if i discovered it when i was younger, it feels like i may not have been as into it as i am now? which is weird to picture bc rn im Severely hyperfixated on it, i cant imagine having any other sort of relationship to the series jfkdhkf AND HIEI IS SO. FUCKING. ATTRACTIVE. only the second character to break through my asexuality and sex repulsion fjkdjfkd i cant believe he actually makes me so wild over his muscles when ive literally never given any fucks about abs n shit all my life. his hotness is just too powerful fjsjf AND IM ALWAYS ADORING HOW TINY HE IS BUT IN REALITY HES JUST A FEW INCHES SHORTER THAN ME TOO BC IM 5'2" LMAO. but. i always picture his height in comparison to kuramas human and youko forms and it makes me crazy HFKSJKF little man i want to pick him up and kiss him as hes frustrated and flustered about being carried so easily like that and annoyed at himself that he actually likes it 🥰

also if u do like those songs lmk owo!! im always curious to see if others will like a song i recommend hehe. and if u like aggressive music then boy do i have plenty of that bc edgy shit is like my #1 thing i love to listen to HFKSHKF

Omg pretending I’m normal is how I try to fit in ! That’s my inner shuichi trying to blend in with this classmates 😂 I’m a little bit of a weirdo too but I like pretending to be normie passing, I’m like a snail hiding all it’s weirdness under the shell 😂 my first username was tsukisbadgirl so I GET IT 😂😂 I was SUPER into bakugou I mean I still like him but he’s been replaced as my #1 since I got into Tokyo revengers 😂 I will let you know all about my weirdness tendencies but pretend its perfectly normal like 2 seconds later hehe

& yea wild open asks are the best lol IDK WHY but it’s all so true ! I’m glad u won’t judge if I can’t reply right away cuz sometimes I need to disappear and then I feel bad if I try to come back later ! Ohhh the kin thing makes sense too ! Maybe I’m not kinning too many ppl from mha rn cuz I’m hyper fixated on Tokyo revengers now ! I kin like SO MANY PPL from there but I am hopelessly obsessed with it so that might be why 😂 (especially manjiro, he is plaguing my every waking & slumbering moment now 👀)

asbfoajsos Hiei’s MUSCLES keep drawing me back like a little magnet and I am RESISTING 😂😂 why is he built like that ?? I mean I know why but omg WHY DOES IT LOOK SO GOOD ?? i hate it, if Kurama had nearly half the shirtless scenes hiei did I’d be even more unhinged but they didn’t give him the chance !! 😭 SOBBING. I like to be the one that gets manhandled tbh but I feel like even with Hiei’s height he could still get it done 😏 and then im like NO ! INTRUSTIVE THOUGHTS I WANT KURAMA ! and ahdisnsiaosndk 😂 im mostly attracted to ppl based on personality rather than physicality but once im attracted to the person it opens the flood gates and all of a sudden everything about them seems hot 😩

But yes I will let u now about the songs !! It might take me a while like my reading list lol ahdisbskdn BUT I will eventually get to it ! I do things very sporadically and depending on inspiration level so I can’t be held accountable 😂

[blueymoons]

ADHD Brain Dump

Since my post the other day, asking for help with female experiences after being diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood...I've had so many people I don't know reach out to me and I really just want to say...Thank you. So much.

I posted the same message, exactly, on my FB...asking my female FB friends to reach out either in the post or privately and I had a few...but not nearly as many as I had here.

And let me just say...it's weirdly more reassuring to hear from people I've never met that it's okay to be afraid of the medication, but that medication is meant to help me. So many of you have addressed my addiction fears, sharing information your therapists have told you and things you've learned and it's given me a ton of things to add to my list of questions to ask.

I feel so much more prepared and ready for this.

I'm not as scared and I certainly feel less alone.

On a separate note...I think I'm realizing that my main superpower (I'm choosing to claim this as a superpower because for fucks sake...I've built my life from the insanity of this and I function really freaking well despite it) is hyperfixation. The more I learn about this concept (is that the right word?) the more I realize it's shaded my ENTIRE life.

Every movie I've ever watched and loved, I usually watch over and over for the first few days and weeks of owning it. The first movie I remember doing this with was The Little Mermaid. I saw it in theaters when I was 6 years old and when we got it on VHS tape (yes I'm that old...sorry y'all) I watched it every single day for a month.

Pride and Prejudice 2005 (The Hand Flex™ version) is my go to movie when I'm sad or upset or sick. And I will go through periods of time when I will watch it every day.

When I find a new show or book series that speaks to me (Doctor Who, Ted Lasso, Harry Potter, The Cormoran Strike series..etc) I dive into the fandom for that piece of media FULL FORCE and then wallow in it. So much so that I persuade everyone around me to get into it with me and then I get my feelings hurt when they don't love it the way I do.

I hyper fixate on music too and this is really hard for me because I FEEL music with every emotion in my body. I could have whole conversations with songs. You know how a lot of people have synesthesia (not sure I spelled that right) where they can taste words and names, or see colors for words and people's names...I feel people in music. Most everyone I know has a song assigned to them in my mind. One I associate with them, that when I hear it, I think of them, even though we may have never listened to it or talked to each other about it before. But something about that song makes me feel a certain way and I associate the way I feel in that moment to a person and then the song becomes associated to them. (Is this normal though? I don't feel like it is...but no one has ever understood it when I talk to them about it and they all just look at me like I'm super weird)

So it's been really wild learning about ADHD this past week and being able to see where it may have shaped my life and who I am. And I won't lie...There's a part of me that LOVES hyper fixating on things because I feel such comfort from them. I don't want to lose that comfort because the medicine makes me stop hyper fixating...

So...if y'all wouldn't mind answering more questions...Have you found that your medication dulls these things for you? Are you like me and learned to comfort yourself with one of your "superpowers" and then you lost that power with the medicine? Or did you keep it? Did it change in some way?

And again...thank y'all so much for being so lovely to a complete stranger on the internet. It means more than I'd ever be capable of communicating...even though clearly I like to use my words. (Sorry about the length of this y'all...but probable ADHD brain got me like...)

In the words of my current obsession, Ted Lasso...

I appreciate you.

[echoingvoice]

I want to rant a little more teehee :)))

Another thing is the adhd friend even told to me go back to hyper fixating on yunobo and like... if you know anything about being autistic you know that 1: you can't choose what you hyper fixate on... ya just sorta get REALLY into it. And 2: i can't force myself hyper fixate on any other thing! I don't know about other people but i just can't go on a rant about rock boi when i don't care about him right now.

I still like him but I'm not gonna start hyper fixating on him just cause you don't like the charecter I'm talkikg about.

Another thing they did is... they never really told me to stop ranting about the charecter? If they did i can't really remember but they would either just ghost me after i sent simp pics or would text it in a way where i thought they were joking.

Also also I LISTEN TO THEM RANT ABOUT SHIT ALL THE TIME??? i don't care about the stuff they rant about but i still listen, cause i like listening to my friends rant about stuff they like! But suddenly when i rant and be just as fucking annoying as they are with the stuff they like its suddenly a bad thing????

I can't even rant about the stuff i hyperfix on because i hyperfix on characters/things people don't know/like and even if i do find people who also like the thing they're not as extra about it as i am!!

I'm fucking done with listening to people all about the stuff they rant about but nobody will listen to me, and i don't even trust new people enough to just find new people to dump my rants onto

Guess I'll just rant to ai chat bots.

This is a vent piece

I'm tired of hyper fixating on a show or a character or something and I'll talk about it a lot with people i thought i could just rant about this kind of stuff to, only to find out that they actually don't give a shit...

It especially stings cause one of my friends who has adhd and also hyper fixes on stuff and rants to me about it threatened to block me because i kept showing them art of one of my favorite characters...

[meichenxi]

*rant commencing*

ok guys let’s sit down and have a think about the way we talk to kids, particularly neurodivergent ones, and the weight it carries

the other day, I opened up to a friend about something really hurtful my best (and only) friend said to me when I was fifteen. It was a moment of emotional intimacy and the first time I had brought it up seven years later and, once again, I got laughed at and told I was too fucking sensitive

and ok maybe yeah I was a ridiculous child. I’m a ridiculous adult, that shouldn’t be surprising. But this hurt and hurt and hurt and I was trying to think about why this in particular and not anything else was so painful

so here’s the situation. at fifteen, like many smart kids, everyone thought the world was open to me. Ok I had no social skills to speak of and was ostracised by teachers and students and family, but I was an optimistic kid, and in a disaster of a home situation (involving kidnappings and court cases and running away and being out of school for a year and a brother starting drugs at 12 and living in a shelter and basically just a LOT) I was always the smiley helpful one. and apart from being defeated by very simple mechanisms like idk drawers or biscuit packets, I picked things up quickly. I took GCSEs early and extra and tutored others; I was a regional competitive swimmer in breaststroke and open water; I taught myself the flute and got into an international touring youth orchestra without lessons; I won a poetry competition for adults in primary school; I played competitive netball and was a long distance runner; I drew and sold my art; I wrote shitty novels and started making conlangs and was interviewed on bbc world about it; I loved performing and was invited to join a theatre company when I left school; and my biggest passion in the entire world apart from Tolkien was martial arts. And the best thing was for my parents - one of whom was disabled and didn’t work and the other who was a cleaner - is that I worked two paper rounds and tutored younger children and earned all of the money for it myself. blah blah blah. I was your mum’s friend’s kid. 

well, I’m a disaster adult, so you can probably guess that none of that lasted for very long. and there are gazillions of people here with exactly the same story. 

the point in question, though, was when I was fifteen and thinking about sixth form (the last two years of school in the UK) it was becoming clear alarmingly fast that you weren’t allowed to just keep doing everything you loved. at some point you had to make a choice. 

but how could I give up swimming for music? Or music for languages? Or languages for athletics? Or athletics for theatre? or, actually, all of them but one???? how did people just know what they had to do with their lives? how did they choose? 

the problem was, I said to my friend, I know I could do well at any of them, so how was I supposed to choose? (tactless and a stupid thing to say and also just not true but I was fifteen and simultaneously disgustingly cocky and cripplingly insecure) And he laughed and said, well, fuck you then. 

oh noooo. poor meeeeeee. I’m so fucking good at things what do I dooooo

I haven’t stopped thinking about that comment for seven years. Every single time I think about wasting my potential, every time I can’t sleep because I’m terrified that I’m not being productive or useful and hating myself because I’m upset that I can’t do something right away and I know it’s a stupid thing to be upset about - I think about that comment. I’m lucky. It’s alright for some. 

because, actually, being expected to know what to do with your life aged 15 is a fucking terrifying thing. we were kids at fifteen being told to make decisions as if we had all the facts, as if we weren’t also being blindfolded and spun around in circles until we couldn’t stand. Do you do what your parents say? what you think you want to do? what your teachers say? do you just stay in education even though it’s not for you because your dream is stupid, or because you don’t have a dream like everyone else seems to? are you supposed to have a dream?

*it’s NOT a stupid thing to worry about*

particularly when? well, when your entire self worth equates to the things that you output, the things that you do. so just for a moment, put yourself in the shoes of all of these wonderful, dazzling, damaged, crazy kids with big dreams and big hearts, kids that are struggling right now and kids that are our future, and imagine that you’ve been told since you were old enough to read or speak or walk that you’re just so very clever

isn’t it just wonderful how clever you are? isn’t it just great how we never need to worry about you? you’re such an easy child, it’s a blessing. always so considerate, so thoughtful, never making a fuss! isn’t it just fantastic how well you do in school? I can’t imagine what it must be like to have a child who went to all of those nasty parties. you’re so dedicated

raise your hand if you were only ever told you were good. raise your hand if you were never told you were kind. 

so, what happens? you take a child, and you tell them for its entire childhood that they’re clever. You don’t tell them that they’re creative, or hard-working, or dedicated, or driven, or helpful. You let them know that it’s ok that they’re weird, because they’re going to be successful. what do you think parents say to their kid who’s crying because she has no friends and she doesn’t understand what the other children are thinking and why they would hurt each other like that? even good parents, the very best of them, say things like: you’re just more mature than they are. it doesn’t matter. keep your head down - you’ll show them. 

your child, in the best case scenario, has access to her hyperfixation that makes the world big and bright and beautiful. she’s a bit weird, but it’s kind of cute. anyway, she’s good at it. and as long as she succeeds, conventionally, and you get to brag, then it’s ok that she’s a little bit unconventional.

and then things to break, just a little. and then, aged eleven, your child is having an asthma attack in the classroom because she got so anxious she couldn’t answer a maths question she couldn’t breathe. it’s ok, her parents tell her the next day. you’re just not good at maths - that’s alright. you don’t have to be good at everything

your child, because she’s perceptive, begins to realise that things don’t get better as you get older. people are just as cruel at 12 as they are at 7, and they’ll be just as cruel at 15. and then one day, as a bad joke because she doesn’t really understand humour, she writes a fake text to her dad from someone’s phone in legalese that actually has a secret code hidden it in that she knows her dad will crack right away because he’s brilliant. she thinks it’s hilarious. her father thinks he is being threatened, and spends the next week in meltdown, bedridden and burnt-out. and when she owns up, he turns and snaps at her, and says as if you could write something like that. an ADULT wrote this, not a fucking child

and suddenly, that cleverness they kept talking about? they don’t even understand that. 

suddenly, no one sees her at all. 

she needs to learn to be like the other kids. to be like a fucking child. and while she’s learning, she doesn’t speak for a year

that happened to me, but take your pick - I’m sure you don’t have to look far to find examples of your own. 

My point is this: if you tell a child for their entire life that the only thing that is worthy of being loved is what they achieve, if every time they do something they love you tell them oh, you could be a famous writer! you’re so talented! rather than saying that you loved listening to their story, if you only praise them when they’re good and quiet and convenient and tell them that as long as they succeed, it doesn’t matter if they don’t have friends or if they’re miserable, and THEN you tell them to choose ONE THING and drop 90% of everything that makes them who they are - 

what the hell did you THINK was going to happen??

because here’s the first thing. for many kids, whether that’s because of neurodivergence or age maturity or whatever, hyper fixations and hobbies aren’t just things they like to do. THEY ARE LIFELINES. they’re the things these kids go to when they’re hurt, angry, upset, because they make sense. for many kids, especially but not always girls, they are able to camouflage themselves and mask tendencies of neurodivergence because they’re ‘good students’. at a family gathering once, my mum, so frustrated at my inability and lack of desire to talk to any members of my extended family, snatched my German grammar book and locked it in the boot of the car. knowing that I escape and read it in the toilet was the only thing keeping me going, exhausted and stressed and overwhelmed. I vomited on the grass.

and here’s the second thing. you tell us from an early age that they only way we’ll ever be acceptable to the rest of society is if we succeed. autistic kids are fine, as long as they’re international maths olympiad champions. adhd kids are fine, as long as they’re famous athletes. if you’re obsessed with musicals that’s ok, as long as that obsession leads to a well-paying job as a successful writer on Broadway. 

and then you tell us that we only have one chance at that success? and this decision determines the rest of our lives? and that we had so much potential when we were kids, and we better not waste it now? that not everyone is so lucky to be able to choose between so many things?? 

because being asked to choose between these things isn’t being asked to choose a hobby. when the only way anyone else defines you positively is by your success in one area, that becomes your entire identity. 

so no, we’re not being too sensitive when you ask us to pick and choose what career, or what hobby to take forward. you’re not asking about hobbies. you’re asking us to choose what kind of person we want to be. you’re asking us to choose the most impactful way we can give back to the world, because we can’t waste those god-given talents. you’re asking us to figure out, still a child and hopelessly lost, what our purpose on this planet is. and you’re looking at us as if the ways that we survived all of these years, the things we clung to for comfort, are things we can just cast aside without further thought

ask me now, and I’ll tell you that’s not the way things work. we have second chances and third ones and tenth ones, we can be different things to different people and we can do different things at different parts in our lives, and be successful in different areas. life isn’t a fucking flowchart. and I’m still trying to come to terms with all the things I could have been, and my freak-outs about ‘wasted potential’ are so clockwork I could plan my calendar around them, but I’m beginning to understand that life doesn’t end when you’re twenty, or when you haven’t written a best-seller by eighteen. you have time.   

but at fifteen? at fifteen, that question broke me. 

do you know what you can do instead? you can show a little thoughtfulness. you can be kinder, and lead by example, and praise your kids when they’re kind too. when your son runs to you and shows you what you think is a better picture than you - a stick figure artisan, if you say so yourself - could ever create, you can actually just say you really like it. you can ask him if that’s him and daddy and the dog on a cloud. describe the picture back to him, and engage with this thing he’s made from his imagination - tell him the clouds he’s drawn are so big and fluffy and white, and ask if there are giant spiders living there. you know how to shut a child up? tell them yes dear, it’s wonderful. don’t be that person. promote your kid’s creativity - ask questions, have fun, play with this thing they’ve made - and not destroy it

when your daughter comes to you and shows you a song she’s written, don’t tell her she’s so talented or that she could be a musician one day. just sing along. ask her why she wrote it, and what she was thinking of when she did. ask her if she could make it different for two people singing it at the same time. 

and if your child just really, really loves maths? let them do maths. it’s ok if their interests are stereotypical - as long as they love it and it’s fun, supporting them is wonderful. the best present my father ever got me was five hours of tutoring - an introduction to linguistics!! - when I turned twelve, starting on my birthday at 8am. I had never felt so understood and so loved. 

as much as these simple things can destroy someone’s life, can stop them talking for a year, you have the chance to be that one voice of kindness that is a friend where a young person needs it most. 

for me, this was the Bus Lady. I never knew her first name because I forgot immediately and was too embarrassed to ask again, but we got the bus together for two years right before I applied to university - she was a trainee teacher at my school. she saw that I missed tutor group and sat in the corridor every morning writing, and that I ran laps for an hour every lunchtime instead of sitting alone. but she came and sat with me one morning and asked what I was doing; I was developing a new shorthand and told her so warily. 

she didn’t raise her eyebrows or say wow, that’s...that’s amazing. instead she frowned and looked at me skeptically and said ‘But why would you do that? There are plenty of functional shorthands out there - what does your shorthand have that they don’t? Tell me about it.’

I had no idea what to say

this was the first time anyone had actually ENGAGED in any capacity with what I was doing. and just like that, just by treating me seriously and asking valid questions and pointing out inconsistencies, I was a person who happened to have an idea that was in some serious need of questioning, and not a freak

there’s no way she remembers that interaction; she’s been a teacher now for year and probably doesn’t even remember who I am. But I had been this close to not going to university, to not bothering, and she made me stop, and wait a moment

she will never know the difference that that conversation and two months of kindness on the bus from a stranger made in my life. 

so let’s be kind to each other, please. let’s be forgiving. let’s challenge each other and let’s engage with kids with special interests and listen to them talk. and so to any educators or teachers or parents or even other kids, I want to say - let’s treat our words seriously and with respect, like we treat our children, because they have immense capacity to hurt, because they can be used for good. 

to any other fifteen year olds in a similar position, I just want to say: none of us here on tumblr have properly sorted our lives out, but I promise you it does get so much better.

you’re not too sensitive. you’re not a freak. you’re not only acceptable because you succeed. I know if you’re masking you feel you have to and it’s for survival, and I’m sorry, because you shouldn’t have to. and you should never, never have to think that you ‘have it good’ or that you’re lucky and are not allowed to hurt. there’s always some one who has it worse, and you can’t stop beat yourself up about that. fuck anyone who tells you otherwise. if you have gone through trauma, if you have unhealthy coping mechanisms, if you are depressed or anxious or otherwise mentally ill and some of it stems from this, I am so very very sorry. but you will be ok, even if you can’t write for a couple of years, or even if things change. you’ll get there. speaking as someone who is now writing for the first time in six years, drawing for the first time in longer, it’s scary and new and weird, but you will come out the other side. 

and you do work hard. and you are creative. and you are loved. and you are so very, very kind.

*rant over*

[91percentpynch]

proof i am basically gansey

i mean i do realize i‘m female but we‘re basically twins

we both have absolutely no fucking clue what is going on 90% of the time

we both are unhealthily in love with adam parrish and blue sargent

we both would absolutely not get that noah is in fact dead until we saw his dead body

but at the same time believe in the absolute weirdest supernatural theories

we are both history nerds

we are both the mom friend

we are both insanely awkward

we both accidentally insult people without meaning to

we are both overly dramatic

we both would DIE for adam parrish and ronan lynch

we both would not get if two of our friends secretly started dating

we both would hide our relationship in order to not hurt adam parrish

we both have weird hyperfixations

we both talk about said hyper fixations to anyone who will listen

we have the same hair color

we both have slightly annoying older siblings we still love

we both feel more at home when we‘re with our friends than our actually family (for different reasons tho)

we both have absolutely no idea how the fuck cars work

we are both in a constant state of (asexual) confusion

we both have unhealthy coping mechanisms and should probably see a therapist but won‘t

we would both instantly DIE for our friends

we are both horrible at social interactions

we both like doing things for the aesthetic

we both have massive personality and insecurity issues

we both tell the people we like weird fun facts

we both got our friends by saying something weird and then got adopted

[smutty-ki113r]

hello!! I’d like to request a matchup please!!

my pronouns are he/him, I’m 19, pansexual, and Aquarius

I have a big chest and a smaller waist, dark brown hair that goes past my shoulders, and dark brown eyes

I like drawing, anime, video games, gore, cosplaying and reading

I prefer darker wardrobes, and my room is a tiny bit messy

horny 24/7

I don’t really like talking to people at first but when I get familiar with them, I can talk about my hyperfixations for hours

I’m more on the quiet side though, and I hide my emotions when I get flustered bully you

Later in relationships it gets easier to express myself though!

also a kinky mf

My humor is kind of broken so I make memes to cope with the fact that I have no friends 💀

But yeah! Hopefully this is enough information! Tysm!!

I match you with…..💖BEN_DROWNED💖

You didn’t tell me what kind of matchup you wanted but you did say you were kinky so I’ll give you a bit. Slight NSFW bellow~

Yeah I think he’d be a good match for you. Life with him would be, interesting to say the least, especially with a person like you.

You guys have similar interests, playing videos games with him is probably a must for the boy. I also believe he watches anime, I just know he likes fucking saiki k, it might be a guilty pleasure of his. Also hentai smh (we all know Jeff likes deathnote)

Congratulations, you have a messy room? BEN HAS GOT THE MESSIEST EVER. So at least you won’t ever feel bad if he sees your room, his is always worse. He’s not depressed he just is so so lazy and wants someone else to clean it. He’s a really chill guy, can listen to your hyper fixations and then get excited from that. He loves a good laugh too so you will have no problems getting a joke on with him.

It takes a while for him to get actually comfortable with you, because of past traumas he acts super social all the time, like nothing ever phases him but he’s a little sensitive. He cares a lot for you but has a hard time showing it.

Yeah he’s pretty kinky too. You didn’t tell me if you’re a top or a bottom or a sub or whatnot but he’s a switch so you’re good either way. He ties you up, likes to watch you tremble but also will give those high pitched whines. so so sexy.

Hope you liked this! For the record I don’t have that many irl friends and I talk to myself a lot. I come up with the funniest stuff by myself, like why tf is peppa pig 7 feet tall? I just don’t understand. It shouldn’t be possible. That’s not peppa that’s Godzilla. I jus-

ANYWAY! HAVE A GOOD DAY

[tundrainafrica]

One song I associate Levihan with is Almost is Never Enough by Ariana Grande. I see the song as a what if. What if Levihan did have feelings for one another? Did they act on it? Most likely not. They have to worry about titans, Marley, and the rumbling. They could admit it, but they can’t because of the war. Then you have the forest scene, and now Levi tells Hange to dedicate her heart. I randomly thought of this and I could be wrong. If only Isayama can pull a KNY. I doubt it

So, Almost is never enough is one of the songs that I’ve heard enough times on the radio but I never really had in my spotify playlists coz reasons. But it’s been on repeat since you sent this ask because fudge, it’s a Levihan anthem and any song at this rate which reminds me of Levihan is a work of art. 

Like I get the mood? Like my feelings for this pairing are so strong, I ended up thinking about why the hell I was so hyperfixated on this pairing and why the hell I get so hyperfixated in shows in the first place. I think I was like this with a lot of shows too, like I'd kinda like this one pairing or one character and when the authors kill off one of them or when I have to watch the authors NOT pair them with together, I'm the type to stop watching a show over something that small and I was wondering why the hell the same thing didn't happen for Levihan? 

BECAUSE THEY WERE ALMOST THERE. if the finish line of a race is canon, ch. 126 is like that one final lap where they make that 'final lap' sign in Mario Kart and chapter 132 is like that one fucking blue shell with the wings in Mario Kart which completely destroys your cruise all the way to the finish line. 

And this ship blueshelled me so hard.

I get the energy of that song because Levi and Hange’s relationship in my head is really a product of mutual pining and even before I got hyper fixated on their characters, I think that’s how I really would have imagined mutual pining and romance to develop between them. One of my favorite characteristics of the very delicious mutual pining trope is the fact that sometimes, all you need is one confession for a love to become reality. If no one confesses or says anything, then the two people can live in denial that something never existed. 

And let us not underestimate denial.

Even in real life, my current boyfriend and I were clowning for what probably was years saying shit like ‘you’re not my type’ or ‘I’ll make you the godfather of my kids.’ or ‘I’ll be the cool aunt’ or ‘don’t forget about me when you get a gf/bf’ or other bullshit like this because we didn’t want to risk anything. Even if somehow at the back of our mind, we would guess that ‘what if’ he did like me? We had issues with circumstances and whether we were each others types. We never touched each other, we never sat too close even when we were texting each other everyday and sharing everything.

“Because we’re best friends, we’re not dating” 

And it was just a bunch of emotions forced into this tiny ball and down my trip and the moment he confessed in the most anticlimactic manner saying “I never said you were fuck ugly,” I ended up crying my eyes out and I realized I’ve wanted him for years and all I needed was just some confirmation that this weird ass thing I felt was real. Because I had too much pride to even admit it myself that it was there.

Somehow, I feel with the dreariness of the war, it could have ended up similarly for them. Like if any one of them just said something only remotely like ‘I love you’ and maybe if their hearts weren’t stuck so far up their asses, Levi and Hange would have literally just made it happen. The circumstances of their relationship though were just so much more extenuating with the war, with their positions and their responsibilities that fine, it’s understandable that it got stuck at ‘almost’

But hey, at least Levi kinda confessed.

And at least she understood it. (Yo, tell me she isn’t crying here, her lips are quivering and what’s that watery thing under her eye. Okay fine she’s about to go to her death of course she’s crying but why was it Levi’s words of all things that made her breakdown. Hange never even broke down this whole time right?)

Anyway, while we’re in the conversation on Levihan tracks, lemme just drop the five Levihan songs I’ve been listening to on repeat this past week.

Let’s Hurt Tonight by OneRepublic (Inspiration for my fic, Rekindle)

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer (“And we know that we’re doomed, my dear we’re slow dancing in a burning room”)

Samson by Regina Spektor (Inspiration for my oneshot, My Sweetest Downfall)

The 1 by Taylor Swift (”And if my wishes came true, it would have been you,”)

Please don’t say you love me by Gabrielle Alpin

If you got more tracks feel free to share, my Levihan playlist is only getting longer and longer.

[katebishopofearth]

3, 6, 10, 17, 50, 99!

3. What is your gender identity? I’m a cis woman

6. What is your favorite personality trait about yourself? Ah fuck going for the hard ones are we. My curiosity to always know more about the world and see things from others’ pov

10. Are you crushing on someone? Pretty sure @prose-n-scripts will kill me if I say yes so... no.

17. Favorite song at the moment? I HAVE NEVER LISTENED TO A SONG IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Lol maybe Cardigan by Taylor Swift cause I was listening to it when walking my dog just now

50. Thoughts on Greek mythology? BITCH THAT WAS MY 2ND HYPERFIXATION! I was in Year 5 and we learned about ancient Greece in school and I was OBSESSED with Greek myths for the longest time! (First hyper fixation was dinosaurs xo)

99. Do you talk to your mutuals? If so who? Not too much bc I’m shy shy but I talk to a few folks on and off and I’m always thrilled when someone messages me

Quarantine asks here

[letterstothelosers]

Hey, Rich, I have ADHD too. Do you think its possible to hyperfixate on a person (I think thats happened to me a few times) if so, have you ever done that before and who?

I definitely think so! I was fixated on Bill for years. He was like my strength, always bringing my mood up and pushing me to be a better person. He’s our leader, he always has been, and all of us would follow him to the ends of the earth.

But when I was younger and my ADHD was un-diagnosed, he somehow became a huge factor in my life. I’d spend all my time trying to focus on him and follow him, by his right hand man, listen to what he told me to do, that sort of stuff.

I’ve never told him any of this though so it may seem super fucking weird xD But yeah, I think you can hyper fixate on a person for sure, or anything for that matter - Richie

[thegreatweissshark]

I can confirm a lot of this except sometimes the dreams and flashbacks do play out like the movies, especially the parts you refuse to let go of, at least for me it does. Your brain can also hyper fixate on certain things depending on how much you remember and how many times you've had that dream and/or flashback. It eventually becomes an etched groove in your memory that gets deeper and longer with each pass.

In my nightmares I tend to hyperfixate on sound to the point where I can pick out specific individual voices despite hearing several. I think the best way I've ever described it is listening to things on full blast using top quality headphones. Surround sound, baby!

Another thing is twitchiness. It really depends on the person, but for me whenever I slip into a flashback I begin to twitch and tense up. It's kind of like shaking yourself out of it. It helps me a lot, but people end up giving me funny looks for it. Twitchiness also happens when someone is severely lacking in sleep. For this, imagine your heart after a couple cans of redbull.

Auditory and visual hallucinations are also extremely scary as fuck when they first start happening. The auditory ones are hard to deal with because you can't close your ears to ignore them, though phantom sensations are extremely scary—even worse when your eyes are closed and you're doing all it takes to block out noise. There's also the things you see in your periphery and that feeling something is behind you. Say hello to enhanced paranoia.

And how could I forget the most Ironic symptom of trauma: forgetting it. Legit. Forgetfulness is a symptom. I can tell you so many details about my incident down to a T but until recently, I haven't been able to remember the exact date. I can remember the time, the weather, the sounds, and even how the concrete felt beneath my hands, but I couldn't for the life of me remember the date. It took retelling my story to a friend to remind me of it. Things slowly came to me like puzzle pieces falling into place then bam! July 13th.

Forgetting is a defense mechanism your brain puts into place to help protect you, but it doesn't erase it completely—once again, this is all from my personal experience and shouldn't be used in any way to compare to others. Anyway, forgetting. I might have forgotten the date it happened but my body didn't. Every year when the anniversary of the incident rolls around, my nightmares and flashbacks become more frequent and vivid. I lose sleep, appetite, and interest. I essentialy go from being okay(ish) to being more depressing than Eeyore, then back to being okay(ish). Whiplash. @_@

Irritability and anger is another thing, but those two are kind of self explanatory and link back to everything. Living with trauma is living a repeated nightmare.

TL;DR: living with trauma sucks and there's no real cookie-cutter way to describe it. Research is your best friend and, strangely enough, so is MatPat's Spiderman 2 video on why Spidey lost his powers.

A small tip: if your characters have a traumatic experience, and they have nightmares about it, more often than not, those dreams will not be a play by play of what happened, but will often hold symbolism to the event than the actual event itself

These dreams can often not be genuinely scary but can leave you feel shaken and unrested when you do wake up. It may take your characters hours to let go of the feeling

It is also common to have the same dream roccur often. It might be unsettling enough that your characters will try to avoid sleeping for as long as they can, or will they to self medicate in some way to try to make the dream go away

A common reoccurring dream I had after my mom died was I would be watching her die, similar to how she did, but it was faster, and then we had her cremated. But the next day [in the dream] she would be back on the couch, just like any other day, as if she had not died the day before. But then futher on into the dream she would slowly start to decinigrate into ashes, but it would be ten times slower and it would be like losing her all over again

I would sleep completely through the dream and not wake up in some cold sweat or hyperventilating, tho that’s not to say that’s never happened before , but the next morning I would be shaken when I did wake up and it took me hours to get back to normal. I had that same dream several times over the last few years, and it still makes me shaken, but not to that same extent as the first time. That can happen over time with desensitization

Flashbacks work the same way. They’re not often a perfect play by play of what happened, but can be flashes of what happened. Or it can not be visual at all

You have five senses, and certain tastes or smells or sounds or touch can be just as impactful as visual flashbacks. For the most part, unless you have a disability that prevents otherwise (like being d/Deaf, or blind), all five of those senses are working together at the same time and each can carry their own weight in trauma

Especially when traumatic things are happening, adrenaline is rushing through you, or you are in a high stress situation. Parts of you are processing things faster than other parts of you. Your brain is working to take in everything that is happening and sometimes things are not always remembered correctly