#that’s unrelated but still ! i need coffee lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

weirdkpopgirl · 2 years ago

Text

Stronger Together | Haechan Fic #2

Title: Stronger Together

Genre: College AU, exes to lovers (sort of)

Warnings: mentions of mental health issues like anxiety and self-harm, bullying. the story gets very emotional

Word Count: 14k

Author's Note: Omg I've been working on this story for way too long. This has been on the backburner of my drive for months. And somebody sent a request, asking me to write something with Haechan where the reader has a hard time being vulnerable with him. So I thought I might as well finish this story since it fits that request? I apologize for how long and cliché it is. I was also heavily influenced by the k-dramas that take place in universities lol. Thank you guys for reading and I really hope you like it ^^

─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─

~ prologue ~

Everything felt like some tragic scene from a romance movie gone wrong. One that left the audience holding their breaths, afraid of what the character’s next move would be. Meeting at a café, the one close to your university. The aroma of fresh coffee filled the air. The dimmed ambiance, as it was no longer daytime. Soft music playing in the background. Then there was you two in the corner of the room. The warm drinks set atop the wooden table remained untouched. The carefree smiles faded gradually.

At last, the silence was broken. When you met his eyes, all the courage you mustered up dispersed. Then the words you never thought you’d hear yourself say fell from your lips.

“Let’s break up.”

The sun receded behind the somber, gray clouds as the storm took hold, leaving behind the absence of the once cherished feelings of warmth and radiance.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ chapter one ~

“Yeonsung University’s Hae-Dal Couple Seen Sharing a Cute Moment Before Class,” Jaemin read aloud to the group.

You held back a grimace when you scrolled through the snapshots, most likely taken behind the school bushes. One of Donghyuck gently removing an eyelash off your cheek. One of you smiling fondly at him. One of him giving you an innocent kiss on the forehead. What began as a quiet exchange with your boyfriend had turned into morning gossip eagerly devoured by the students of Yeonsung.

“We look cute don’t we?” Donghyuck proudly swung an arm around your shoulders. Unlike you, he wasn’t bothered by the post at all.

You shrugged in response. “I guess.”

Maybe you were just being sensitive. At the start of university, you had a lot of goals. Study hard, get good grades, and find a nice internship. Love and leisure? Those were not on the list. Yet somehow Lee Donghyuck, one of the most popular freshmen, just had to pursue you out of all the other girls who fawned over him.

A little over half a year has passed since you agreed to be his girlfriend—after numerous rejections, and you still haven’t adapted to your elevated social status. The way everyone stopped to look in awe at the two of you when walking by. How there always seemed to be someone with a phone to capture a single moment of your day and post it to the UniYeon, your college’s community site. The endless stream of comments praising you both as the epitome of couple goals and being jealous over your relationship with the one and only Lee Donghyuck was unrelenting.

Maybe you were crazy for disliking the attention, even though it wasn’t necessarily bad. Being a campus couple—with Lee Donghyuck much less, meant taking all the pressure that came with it. Your boyfriend seemed to have no problem ignoring what everyone else thought. So why was it so hard for you?

“Hey, guys!” Your best friend, Ahryun, snapped you out of your thoughts. “There’s this new fried chicken place that opened nearby. We should check it out. I heard there’s a special discount for university students there.”

Your lips parted, hesitant to respond, as a sense of wariness washed over you. Fortunately, Donghyuck spoke up, saving you both from the need to answer.

“Can’t. (Y/n) and I have a date for our 200-day anniversary,” He said proudly. You couldn’t help but smile when he turned to you with such loving eyes.

Although it felt like the whole university was watching your relationship like it was a reality show, you could handle the inconvenience. The love you had for Donghyuck allowed any wary thoughts to temporarily shift to the back of your mind.

You never pictured yourself dating someone like him, honestly. To say the least, you and he were quite the opposite of each other. He was a social butterfly, who made everyone around him laugh. You were the more reserved type, sticking with small groups of friends, and hiding your face behind the thin rose-gold glasses you always wore. Donghyuck often left you wondering what made him like you in the first place.

The anticipation in Ahryun’s eyes dissolved into disappointment. “Ah, I see. What about you, Jaemin?”

“Sorry, I can’t either. It’s my turn to cook for Jeno and me,” Jaemin replied, rolling his eyes at the mention of his best friend. He peered up from his phone and shifted his attention to the group. “Also, it’s been 200 days already? Time flies.”

You and Donghyuck nodded in agreement. The dark-haired boy leaned back in his seat with a nostalgic look. “Ah, it felt like yesterday when Donghyuck followed (Y/n) around like some lost puppy.”

Ahryun set her chin on the palm of her hand. “How did you handle him, (Y/n)-ah?”

“He just grew on me, I guess,” You shrugged, turning to look at the boy who gave unamused looks to the two people sitting across from you.

You reached your hand out to gently pet his head. “And it turned out he was very sweet and cute.”

Cliché words like this were rare from you. But seeing the pleased smile on Donghyuck’s face was sort of worth the minor embarrassment.

“See? (Y/n) loves me, thank you very much.” He childishly stuck his tongue out at your friends, earning a head shake from them. He stood up and offered his hand so you could walk out together.

“Now if you excuse us, we have a reservation to prepare for.”

▃▃▃

Despite being seated not long ago, the fluttery feeling in your stomach had yet to leave you. Since you had planned your 100-Day anniversary date, Donghyuck took responsibility for this one. That’s how you find yourself at a classy Italian restaurant. When looking at the other tables, you felt underdressed in your powder blue dress that was quite plain.

“How did you find this place?” You asked conscientiously.

A part of you wanted to ask if you guys could afford this place, considering you were broke college students. But you didn’t want to cause any tension when his effort into planning this special day was clear.

He casually glanced up from the menu in his hands. For a moment you forgot you were also holding one. “I just came across it, when I was searching for restaurants we should try someday. This one has the rose pasta you like.”

“Oh, really?”

Finally, your eyes dropped down to your own menu. The slight nervousness you had began to fade as a small smile stretched across your lips.

You loved witnessing the rare moments where your boyfriend’s subtle consideration peeked through. He often pretended not to pay attention when you talked about a food you liked or an activity you’ve always wanted to try. But in reality, he secretly saved those small details in his pocket for future surprises. Honestly, you were lucky to be one of the few people to see this side of Donghyuck.

Once you adjusted to the new setting, dinner with Donghyuck was quite delightful. Dates with him often started with feelings of nervousness and hesitation. But Donghyuck’s humor and charm always managed to melt away your anxiety. It was in those times when you allowed yourself to relax and enjoy the present moment.

During the date, the topic of conversation mainly revolved around school. Since his major was music production and yours was creative writing, your schedules didn’t align. Some may hate the distance throughout the day, but you and Donghyuck truly didn’t mind.

Though the boy occasionally complained about how he missed you, having something to talk about when you were together was nice. You loved listening to him share his experiences, and learn about the classes he was taking. Donghyuck always had the most amusing stories about something that happened to him or one of his friends.

The bright blue sky disappeared as the evening settled in, just as your dinner came to a close. You may or may not have reprimanded Donghyuck when he went to the “bathroom,” but instead paid for the meal at the counter.

“We could’ve split the check.” You crossed your arms in disapproval.

Knowing how stubborn your boyfriend could be, chastising him was futile. Yet you still did it. Which caused you to insist, “At least let me pay for drinks later.”

“Deal,” The boy agreed. “But before we go, I have a little something for you.”

Unsure of what to expect, you eyed him curiously as he reached into his jacket pocket. He brought out a cream-colored box and pushed the small item toward you.

“Open it.”

Hesitantly, you took the box in with one hand and opened it with the other. The slightly smug smile on his face changed to one of satisfaction when you gasped.

Inside the box revealed a necklace and not just any necklace—one with a sterling silver chain, and a crescent moon pendant made of white gold. Instantly, you recognized the gift as a reference to your couple name, Hae-Dal. That was what your fellow peers started calling the two of you at the beginning of your relationship. This given title was probably the only thing you honestly didn’t hate about being a campus couple.

Hae was a word for sun, and dal meant moon. Donghyuck was the sun because of his bright and extroverted nature. On the other hand, the moon represented your cold and pessimistic demeanor. Despite your contrasting personalities, the balance between you two was nothing short of marvelous.

“Hyuck, you shouldn’t have…”

Leaning back in his seat, the grin on his face didn’t leave. “I know. I’m amazing aren’t I?”

His teasing response was out of instinct. However, it was also his way of covering up the warm sensation that filled his heart when you called him by his nickname. You were the only person who did.

“It’s perfect. Thank you, really,” You breathed, allowing yourself to smile at him.

Before you guys parted ways for the night, Donghyuck didn’t let you leave without helping you put on the necklace. You couldn’t control the blush on your cheeks when his fingers grazed your neck as he connected the clasp. Especially when he used his other hand to cup the side of your face to bring you closer to him. His lips connected to yours in one of the most tender kisses he’s ever given. The exchange left you feeling as though time had stopped and nothing else in the world mattered.

“I love you, (Y/n). Let’s stay together forever.” His tone was lighthearted. However, the intensity of his gaze and the unmistakable spark in his eyes revealed just how deeply committed he was.

Agreeing wholeheartedly, you gently pressed your forehead against his and whispered. “Yes, let’s do that.”

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ chapter two ~

For once, all of the negative thoughts in your mind quieted down. Despite having to wake up early for class, you felt more cheerful than usual. Even Ahryun noticed you had more energy today. The two of you met up in the library to do some homework.

“Okay, you’ve been acting like some lovestruck teenager all morning.” She gave you a weird look. “All because of Lee Donghyuck?”

You glanced up from the notes you were taking and smiled sheepishly. “Is it that obvious?”

Ahryun nodded and gestured to your neck. “Very. Did he give you that necklace?”

Almost instinctively, your hand reached to hold the pendant. You hadn’t taken it off since last night. Which was outstanding, considering you rarely wore jewelry.

“Wah, Donghyuck must really like you,” Ahryun smiled. “I wish I had a boyfriend to buy me expensive gifts.”

You shook your head. “That’s not why I like him though. The more I get to know Donghyuck, the more I see what a thoughtful person he is.”

Ahryun’s eyes widened with interest. “Tell me more about him.”

Out of habit, you folded your arms self-consciously when she leaned forward on the table. Maybe your lack of experience in relationships was the reason it felt so weird to talk about, now that you were actually in one. Back in high school, Ahryun was the one who’d be going on and on about her past boyfriends. You were pretty sure all the boys in your grade crushed on her at least once.

A part of you used to envy her. Ahryun had the type of beauty that didn’t require much effort. She always had the best features, the best fashion sense, and the best social skills. Once you started university, you thought Ahryun would end up being one of those campus couples. So even now, you were still surprised how things were the other way around.

“We’ve been dating for almost seven months now. But it feels like he and I have known each other forever,” You spoke honestly, twirling a pencil in your left hand. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, but I’m ready to open up to Donghyuck about…you know.”

The intrigued expression on Ahryun’s face disappeared. “Oh (Y/n), are you still…?”

A part of you wanted to hide under the table when her eyes darted to your right arm. Despite it being fully concealed by your white sweater, you instinctively pulled the sleeve down further out of paranoia. Almost no one knew about the dark secret that hid beneath the fabric.

Ahryun was the only person at the university who knew about your history of mental illness. Due to the toxic environment, you grew up in, you’ve always been an anxious child. As you matured, you constantly doubted yourself, convinced that you were merely fabricating everything within your own mind. It wasn’t until high school that those insecurities sought to completely destroy you.

The present you still hated yourself. But back then, the self-hatred stored inside of you was immense. Eventually, a box cutter came into your possession. Tenth grade was the beginning of your long, messy history with self-harm. Things got so bad in the last year of high school that you recklessly ran into a busy street. You could still hear the sound of the car horns blaring.

Unfortunately, your attempt to end your life failed. Your actions led to an unwelcome reputation that spread like wildfire through the entire school. You became labeled as the "crazy suicide girl," attracting gawking students in the hallways and the judgmental gazes of teachers. Amidst this turmoil, Ahryun remained steadfast as your true friend, standing unwaveringly by your side, providing much-needed support throughout it all.

After going through that trauma, you knew that anxiety would be a lifelong battle for you. But since starting university, you were in a far better place than you were at seventeen years old.

“I haven’t done it since I met Donghyuck,” You answered honestly. “But I still think he deserves to know, don’t you think?”

Ahryun leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, pondering on how to respond.

“To be honest, I don’t think telling him is a good idea.”

Confusion crossed your eyes. “Why?”

“Most guys leave their girlfriends right away when they find out they’re…mentally ill,” Ahryun slowly explained. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Donghyuck walked out on you right after you told him.”

The small bubble of optimism in you burst. You have heard stories in relation to what Ahryun was talking about.

“But not all men are like that, right? Donghyuck isn’t the type to--”

Ahryun cut you off quickly and exhaled in frustration. “Seven months might seem long because this is your first relationship, (Y/n). Donghyuck might not get angry now if you tell him about your anxiety. But he’ll eventually get tired of helping you, and leave. Do you want that?”

No, that was the last thing you wanted. Ahryun was right. Your relationship with Donghyuck was the longest you’ve experienced, but it was also the only one. Though you knew him well now, there was no way of knowing what he might be like in the coming years.

“Besides, Donghyuck is a busy person,” Ahryun continued. “He has to balance his studies with all the clubs he’s in, and his internship. Telling him his girlfriend has anxiety would just add more stress to his life.”

Your friend’s words left a sting in your heart. But you found yourself agreeing with her. You knew—possibly better than anyone, how much he had on his plate lately. On top of all that, he managed to make time for you too. Maybe you were being too selfish.

“Yeah…I don’t know what I was thinking.” You brushed the conversation off. “Just forget I said anything.”

When you defeatedly went back to taking notes, you missed the satisfied smirk on your best friend’s face.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ chapter three ~

Even though a few days had passed, that conversation with Ahryun kept replaying in your head. You felt like an ongoing battle was being fought internally. Your heart wanted to open up to Donghyuck. But your brain kept reminding you of Ahryun’s warnings. You hated yourself for overthinking things like this.

Your distraction left you a little dazed, and you found yourself zoning out throughout the day. In chemistry class, you made a conscious effort to push those bothersome thoughts aside. You listened attentively when the senior TA, Jaehyun explained today's lab procedures at the start of class.

Fortunately, you had Huang Renjun as your lab partner. He appeared to know what he was doing, a lot better than you did. At the beginning of the semester, the two of you were both a little shy and kept to yourselves. It wasn’t until you met him outside of class that you became more acquainted with the male. Coincidentally, Renjun turned out to be your boyfriend’s roommate and good friend. So the two of you naturally became closer after discovering this mutual connection.

“I think we’re almost finished.” Renjun’s gentle voice stole your attention away from the data table in front of you.

You tried to hold your pen steadily, watching him carefully mix the measured solutions into one beaker. Once he did, you quickly wrote down your observations in a lab journal. Thanks to Renjun, your experiment for the day ran pretty smoothly.

It wasn’t until after completing the lab that something went wrong. While Renjun was washing his hands, you took it upon yourself to return the supplies you guys used. The class was bustling around, cleaning up their stations. You gripped the slightly heavy tray in your hands tightly, trying to not let the crowded environment overwhelm you.

Jaehyun, looking to offer some assistance, came up from behind you. “Do you need help (Y/n)—”

You jumped at the sudden sound of the TA’s deep voice, and the tray in your hands dropped onto the floor with a clang, shattering a beaker in the process. A not-so-nice word immediately shot into your mind thereafter. You could already feel the stares of other students and tried to ignore them.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!” Jaehyun quickly apologized, seeming just as alarmed as you were.

You shook your head with a faint smile, and instinctively bent down to clean up the broken pieces of glass. “N-no it’s my fault, Sunbae. I should’ve been more careful.”

Jaehyun took a step back when Renjun rushed to your side with an apprehensive expression.

“Wait (Y/n), don’t use your bare hands to clean that. You’re going to hurt yourself,” Renjun said, reaching his hand out to stop you.

It was only after you registered his warning that you caught sight of crimson spots on your lab coat. You glanced down to see the palm of her hand bleeding profusely from a small cut. The previous shard of the glass must’ve been sharper than you anticipated.

Renjun cursed when he saw. “Oh no, that looks bad.”

Your brain went into panic mode when he took your hand to examine it. In doing so, your sleeve was accidentally pushed up, revealing several faded pink lines just below your wrist. Immediately, you tried to pull your arm away. But the look of dismay in Renjun’s eyes told you it was too late.

Before you could say anything, Renjun’s hand delicately enclosed around your wrist so that no one else would see what he saw. He cleared his throat and turned to Jaehyun.

“Sunbae, is it okay if I take (Y/n) to the nurse’s office?”

Jaehyun’s eyes flickered between you and Renjun, then gave a brisk nod. “Yes, take her. Make sure (Y/n)’s hand is properly cleaned and bandaged.”

“Don’t worry Sunbae, I’ll take care of her.” Renjun bobbed his head. “Let’s go, (Y/n).”

As Renjun escorted you out of the room, your front teeth anxiously sank into your lower lip. Neither of you said anything on the walk to the nurse’s office. Renjun politely asked the nurse for a first-aid kit. After obtaining it, he brought you to a secluded area to tend to your cut.

The silence between you continued, as he meticulously wiped the blood from your palm with a damp cloth. You had to use a great amount of willpower to prevent yourself from flinching as he applied ointment to the cut and then proceeded to bandage it.

Your breathing quickened when you felt his hand come in contact with your wrist. It was evident that he wanted to investigate further into what he saw earlier.

“Renjun, please.” You put your hand over his. “You don’t want to see them.”

Renjun’s eyes brimmed with melancholy. He’s never heard your voice sound so…fragile. Actually, he wasn’t certain if anyone had seen this side of you.

“You can trust me, (Y/n). I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he spoke with reassurance.

You withdrew for a moment, debating whether or not to let him see. After taking a deep breath, you slowly rolled up your sleeve, revealing the marks which varied in different shades of pink and white.

The composed expression on Renjun’s face contorted into one of shock, an expected reaction that failed to quell the fear coursing through your veins. His fingers brushed over the scars, as he inspected them with a non-judgemental gaze.

But his words were still laced with worry. “(Y/n) these are…”

“Please don’t tell Donghyuck,” You cut him off with a whisper.

Renjun’s brows knit together. “He doesn’t know about this?”

“He can’t.” Your head shook hastily. “If he finds out, he’ll see the truth and realize how crazy I am. He’ll leave me.”

The look in Renjun’s eyes softened as he placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Listen to me, (Y/n). I don’t know what you’re struggling with. But I know that Donghyuck would never leave you for something like this. He’ll want to help and support you.”

You let Renjun's encouragement sink into your head. Could it be true that Donghyuck wouldn’t judge if he found out this dark secret of yours? Or would it be wiser to pay attention to Ahryun’s advice, and keep it to yourself like you were used to?

“I…I just don’t know.” Your voice faltered.

Renjun gave you an understanding smile. “You should tell him when you’re ready.”

You let out a shaky breath, allowing the weight of the conversation to settle on your chest. A part of you wanted to believe Renjun was right about all of this. After a moment of silence, you glanced up and gestured to your wrapped-up hand.

“Thank you. I’m sorry you had to see all this,” you said, feeling a twinge of guilt.

Before you could add anything, Renjun embraced you in a warm hug, catching you off guard. His actions came as a surprise, given that he was typically the least physically affectionate person in your friend group.

“Don’t apologize. You’re my friend too, Kang (Y/n), and I’m here for you.”

You had to force yourself to look up at the bland ceiling to keep the tears at bay. But just as they began to prick the corner of your eyes, the sound of sneakers creaking against the floor stole your attention. Both of your heads turned to see a light-haired boy dashing down the hallway.

“Yah, Kang (Y/n)!”

You sprang away from Renjun’s arms and checked to make sure your scars were concealed before standing up. Donghyuck’s sprint came to a stop and his eyes widened with panic as he saw your bandaged hand.

“I was so worried when Jaehyun Hyung told me what happened. Are you okay?” He moved towards you, immediately pulling you into his embrace.

You released a small breath, surrendering to the comfort of Donghyuck's embrace. Even though you would never confess it, his hugs were always a source of warmth and tenderness that could soothe any pain. It was in moments like these when you cherished his comfort. Even if he didn’t know what was going on.

“It’s just a scratch, Hyuck. I’m sorry for worrying you,” You insisted, glancing at Renjun with a pleading look.

Renjun understood you were silently asking him not to say anything. Honestly, his care for your mental state made him not want to listen to you. But at the same time, he knew he had to respect your decisions.

After a few moments, Donghyuck pulled away to gently place his hand over the left side of your face. His eyes searched yours momentarily, before dropping down to your right hand.

You held it up for him to see. “Renjun helped wrap it up for me. So I’ll be fine.”

The tension in Donghyuck’s shoulders lessened a bit. He gave his friend an appreciative smile. “Thanks for looking after her, Renjun-ah.”

“Anytime,” Renjun hummed. He grabbed his bag and closed the first aid kit. “I have to go return this. See you guys later, take care (Y/n).”

Once Renjun left, Donghyuck focused his attention back on you. He used the soft padding of his thumb to gently caress your cheek.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” He asked with a slight pout.

You nodded and squeezed his hand reassuringly. It was endearing to see how worried Donghyuck was for you, and almost sickeningly sweet. You weren’t even that injured, but he still ran out of class. His actions only made you feel more loved.

However, Renjun's words from earlier lingered in your mind, and you realized that Donghyuck was your safe haven in moments like these. Although Ahryun's words still weighed heavily on you, you knew you couldn't keep your secret from Donghyuck any longer. He cared for you deeply, and as your significant other, he deserved to know.

▃▃▃

Later that day, Donghyuck and you decided to head back to your apartment. After an hour of studying, he suggested getting some takeout and continuing the drama series you’ve both been hooked on. The two of you sat at the far end of the sofa, snuggling underneath a fluffy white blanket.

As you rested your head against your boyfriend’s chest, you had to admit that being in his arms felt especially comforting that night. With the events of the day still weighing on you, the steady rhythm of Donghyuck’s heartbeat provided a soothing backdrop and eased the tension in your body.

Toward the second half of the episode, the female lead got into a heated argument with her boyfriend. The tension had risen after she reluctantly revealed her ex had been engaging in abrasive behavior in a poor attempt to win her back.

“How long has this been going on for?” The man looked at her with a betrayed expression.

The woman crossed her arms insecurely and replied hesitantly. “The past two months.”

“Why did you wait so long to say something?” He demanded, slamming his wine glass on the table.

“Because I knew you’d react like this!” She retorted, frustration flashing in her eyes.

The man scoffed in disbelief, running his fingers through his hair. “That’s not good enough! You shouldn’t have kept this from me.”

A feeling of unease filled you, as you witnessed the man stand up and storm out of the restaurant. You subtly glanced up at Donghyuck, wondering what he thought about the scene.

“Do you think he was overreacting?” You asked softly.

Donghyuck tilted his head slightly, “Yeah, a little. But I understand why he’s upset at her for hiding something like that.”

“Well, I think she just didn’t want to worry him.” Your voice trailed off.

“I get that,” He said. “But he’s her partner, and keeping secrets from one another will only hurt their relationship.

“What would you do if I was keeping a secret?” You questioned hypothetically. “Like if I didn’t say anything because I thought it might hurt you?”

Donghyuck paused for a moment before answering honestly. “I would be more hurt if you didn’t trust me enough to be truthful. It’s important that we share things, even if it may be hard to hear at times.”

Listening to your boyfriend’s thoughts only caused a small knot of apprehension to form in your stomach.

“You wouldn’t judge me or abandon me if I confided in you then?” You hoped he couldn’t hear the timidity in your voice.

He brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear. The touch he left sent a tingling sensation down your spine. “Never. Whatever you’d be going through, I’d be by your side.”

You felt something catch in your throat as his sweet words sank in. When you first met, Donghyuck’s humorous behavior made you think he never took anything seriously. But talking to him now, you didn’t think you’d encountered a person who was more genuine than he was.

Taking his response as a confirmation to trust him, a rare feeling of determination consumed you. Reluctantly, you removed yourself from the comfort of Donghyuck’s arms and turn to face him.

“Actually Donghyuck, can I tell you something?”

A gentle concern filled the sun-kissed boy’s eyes as he sat up with you. His hand already reached out to grab your bandaged one, quelling the nerves that had quickly built up inside of you.

“Of course, Jagiya,” He responded patiently. “Whatever it is, I’m here to listen.”

You couldn’t think of a better moment to let Lee Donghyuck fully into your heart. The fear of what might or might not happen was not going to hold you back this time. He waited patiently, as you mentally pieced together what you were about to say. Your heart felt like it was about to jump out of your chest, but you tried to shake off the feeling. You haven’t been this nervous since the first time Donghyuck confessed to you.

After releasing a single deep breath, your lips parted to speak. “Hyuck there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you—”

However, your sentence was cut off by the sound of the front door being unlocked. Bursting through the door came your roommate, Yuna, her eyes wide with panic. Her ragged breathing made it evident she had rushed over here.

“Eonni, have you seen the latest post on UniYeon?”

The mention of Yeonsung’s community site left you puzzled, your brows furrowing in bewilderment. You and your boyfriend exchanged looks of confusion.

“What are you talking about?” You tried to appear composed and unbothered by the disruption. When in reality, you were just trying to conceal the growing unease within you.

Yuna kicked off her sneakers before walking across the room. She pulled out her phone to show what she was referring to.

“I was studying in the library with my friends and some guys were talking about an article posted about you…”

Donghyuck leaned in beside you to catch a glimpse. His actions prompted you to narrow your eyes in an attempt to decipher the tiny black Korean characters at the top of the screen. The headline read, Kang (Y/n) Spotted Holding Hands with Huang Renjun!

You blinked a few times, wondering if you were hallucinating for a second. But the accusing words didn’t disappear. You tried to search for the name of the student who wrote this. But the post was anonymous.

“What the hell?” Donghyuck hastily grabbed the phone.

He scrolled down, revealing photos of you and Renjun in the hall earlier that day. The hall was usually empty, which made the situation look suspicious. The angles at which the photos were taken created an illusion that you were holding the boy’s hand as he knelt in front of you. When in reality, Renjun was only tending to the cut on your palm.

“This is ridiculous. How can anyone believe this crap?” He scoffed.

“Are you okay Eonni?” Your roommate’s voice was barely audible to you. An overwhelming feeling of dread was already beginning to consume you.

But you managed to plaster on a light-hearted smile. “It’s fine, Yuna. Thanks for letting me know.”

Yuna gave you an apologetic look as she accepted her phone back before excusing herself from the room. After she left, you reached for your laptop to pull up the article and stopped at the comment section.

What an ungrateful b*tch! How dare she cheat on Lee Donghyuck?!

Omo, who does she think she is, going after her boyfriend’s close friend?

Aish, it’s always the sneaky quiet ones that are the devils in disguise.

Donghyuck put his hand over yours before you could scroll any further. Despite the anger simmering about the situation, he recognized the difficult position you were put in.

“Don’t listen to the garbage spewing out of their mouths.” He said firmly, closing the laptop. “We both know the truth, and that’s all that matters.”

“But still…I should’ve been more careful,” You muttered warily, running your fingers through your hair.

He quickly reached to take your hand in his. “Hey, none of this is your fault, (Y/n)-ah. Don’t waste your energy on people who have nothing better to do than spread rumors.”

Your shoulders sank, taking in his words. His response was so natural and confident, leaving you in awe by how he didn’t place any blame on you.

“Yeah, you’re right.” You return to your previous cuddling position and rest your head on his chest.

You felt the boy smile as his arms encircled your waist. “Oh, right. Weren’t you going to tell me something?”

Your mind raced back to what the two of you were talking about earlier. Hesitation filled you, and that small bout of courage you had was gone.

“Oh—um, it can wait,” You brushed him off.

Donghyuck noticed your gaze shift downward, and he was about to encourage you to just tell him whatever it was right then. But then you snuggled closer to him, gently squeezing his waist.

“I just want to stay like this for a little longer,” You murmured into his t-shirt, trying to push away all the bad thoughts.

His heart quickened, and he couldn’t stop the stupid grin that formed. He wondered how someone could possibly be this adorable. While a part of him was still curious about what you were saying earlier, he was content with having you in his arms for now.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ chapter four ~

Ahryun glanced at her reflection on her phone screen anticipatingly, as she stood under the camellia tree at the heart of the campus. Earlier this morning, Donghyuck asked if they could meet up. Receiving a text from the popular male was enough to make her heart skip a beat. Her mind instantly overflowed with all the possible reasons why he asked to meet her. Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait long, as he showed up in his favorite blue drawstring hoodie and a pair of black ripped jeans.

“Hey, thanks for responding so fast.” He quickly greeted her.

“Of course. What did you want to talk to me about?” She asked sweetly.

Donghyuck was too distracted to notice the dreamy smile that graced Ahryun’s lips. He wasted no time in getting to the point. “It’s just…(Y/n). You saw the post yesterday, right?”

“I did,” Ahryun slowly answered. Her smile faded as a tinge of disappointment quickly clouded her previously optimistic disposition.

“People have been making a lot of stupid comments,” he male shook his head. “And even though she might pretend to be okay, I know this is affecting her. So I wanted to ask if you could keep her occupied?”

“Keep her occupied?”

Donghyuck’s eyes fell to the ground, before nodding. “I wish I could be with her, but my internship is today. And I thought since you’re her best friend, you could try to distract her from looking at her phone too much?”

Ahryun inhaled, trying to suppress her outrage. She should’ve known he would bring up her. What was so great about you that made Donghyuck feel like he needed to protect you from the real world?

Holding back the urge to scoff, Ahryun masked her emotions behind a forced smile.

“Silly, I was already planning to take her out today,” She said. “But I would’ve done so even if you didn’t ask me to.”

The boy in front of her visibly relaxed, a look of relief washing over his face. “Yeokshi, Min Ahryun. I knew I could count on you.”

Her heart fluttered when he gave her an appreciative smile. He certainly wasn’t one of Yeonsung’s prince charmings for no reason.

Donghyuck checked his watch and let out a soft curse under his breath. “I gotta go. My class starts in 11 minutes.”

Ahryun nodded understandingly before holding her hand out to stop him from leaving.

“Honestly, I’ve been worried about (Y/n) too, and not just because of the community post,” She admitted.

He turned to her with a confused look and waited for her to continue. She hesitated briefly before speaking up.

“She got diagnosed with anxiety last year. But I’m sure you already knew, right?”

His heart instantly sank to his stomach upon this revelation. A part of him wanted to believe Ahryun was joking. But you had been acting strange yesterday. Was this what you were trying to tell him about?

Ahryun fought back a sly grin, finding it hard to contain her amusement at his dismay. She pretended to be shocked with a feigned gasp. “Oh my, she probably didn’t want you to find out. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Anxiety? She didn’t…she never said…”

Your friend grabbed his wrist in panic. "Please, Donghyuck-ah, you can't let her know that I told you. It's a sensitive topic for her, and she must have hidden it from you for a reason."

Based on the dumbfounded expression on his face, it was evident that the boy was rendered speechless. Ahryun had achieved the exact reaction she wanted. Donghyuck would never see you as that sweet and shy girl anymore. You resembled a fragile Jenga tower, seemingly growing taller. But it would only take a single block for you to collapse.

▃▃▃

You had thought about skipping class today. However, the rational part of your brain that wouldn’t allow anything to disrupt your academic focus, screamed a resounding “no” to you. Donghyuck offered to walk you to class, not wanting you to go alone. But you kindly declined, knowing his class was on the opposite side of campus. You weren’t going to trouble him with the extra distance.

However, the regret of that decision slowly crept up on you as soon as you set foot on campus. You didn't know what part of you believed you could handle the relentless gazes and barely restrained whispers all by yourself. Each passing minute in class felt like an eternity, with lingering glances directed your way. You felt as though you were under a microscope, a new specimen being scrutinized.

You released a quiet sigh, redirecting your focus to the professor's lecture. Aware that this was your last class for the day, you reminded yourself that enduring it for a mere fifty minutes was manageable.

However, by the time the lecture was over, you had barely taken five steps when the buzzing of your phone disrupted your escape plan. Letting out a small sigh, you reached into your bag to take out the cellular device. The notification turned out to be a text from Ahryun four minutes ago. She had sent a message asking if you were out of class and wanted to meet up after.

On any other occasion, you would have readily agreed. But in that particular moment, all you wanted to do was retreat to the comfort of your apartment. You began to type a polite decline to her, as you made your way out of class. Coincidentally, the male you were currently caught up in a scandal with, approached you.

“Hey, can we talk for a second?” He spoke in a hushed tone.

You mentally groaned at the icy reception students gave when they saw the two of you in the same place. Although you were pretty sure you were the one they were rolling their eyes at. Renjun shot a condescending glare at anyone who looked for too long.

After moving outside, Renjun let out a heavy sigh. “I’m really sorry about this, (Y/n). It’s unbelievable that someone would take photos of us like that.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” You replied with a faint smile. “Remember the threats I received when Donghyuck and I first started dating? I should be used to this by now.”

Your boyfriend’s roommate glanced at you with a mixture of concern and frustration in his eyes. “But that doesn’t make it right. Especially when it comes to invading your privacy and spreading rumors,” He deadpanned.

You didn't anticipate Renjun being just as furious as Donghyuck about the situation. It warmed your heart to know that you had people in your life who cared deeply for you and were ready to stand up for you. It made you wish you could be as strong-minded as them.

Just as you were about to respond, your conversation was abruptly cut short.

"There you are, Kang (Y/n). I've been looking for you!" You turned towards Ahryun, who was swiftly making her way down the hallway towards you and Renjun.

“Oh sorry. I was just about to answer your text,” You said sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck.

A look of understanding flashed in her eyes before she noticed Renjun standing beside you. She warily gestured between the two of you with her finger. “Won’t it be suspicious if people see you together right now? Unless you guys are actually…”

“No, it’s not like that,” You stopped her from finishing her sentence, your brows furrowing in puzzlement. Did she seriously believe that you and Renjun would go behind Donghyuck’s back like that?

Renjun promptly came to your defense. “Yeah, I was just checking if (Y/n) was alright.”

The slightest trace of irritation could be heard in his voice as if he felt no need to provide Ahryun with an explanation when nothing was going on.

In response, Ahryun chuckled and playfully tapped you on the arm. "Wow, you two got so serious all of a sudden. I was just teasing," she said with a lighthearted tone.

You breathed a small sigh of relief, silently reprimanding yourself for entertaining the thought that your closest friend would think so low of you.

“I was thinking we should go see a movie today,” She said, linking her arm through yours.

To which you responded with a hesitant expression, contemplating the idea. “I don’t know…I kind of just want to go home.”

“Oh come on, going out on a day like this will help take your mind off things,” Ahryun persisted. “You can join us if you’d like Renjun-ssi.”

Renjun declined with a polite smile, “Thanks, but I’m supposed to meet up with my group for a project this evening. You guys have fun though.”

You nodded understandingly, giving a friendly wave to Renjun before Ahryun took the lead, guiding you away.

▃▃▃

You zoned out during the movie, barely noticing when it reached its conclusion. Your mind seemed elsewhere, and you were only vaguely aware of the film coming to an end. Ahryun went to get a refill on her drink, while you waited for her near the entrance doors.

“(Y/n)?” A voice called out, capturing your attention. As you turned, your gaze fell upon a boy wearing a black hoodie adorned with a charming cat design. He was holding a half eaten bucket of popcorn.

“Oh hi, Jeno. What are you doing here?”

Jeno approached you with a friendly smile in return. “Jaemin dragged me here to watch this action movie with him. How about you?”

“I came here with Ahryun,” You replied. Jeno nodded in acknowledgment.

“How are you and Donghyuck?” He asked. “I heard you two recently celebrated your 200-day anniversary.”

You couldn't help but blush at the mention of such a seemingly trivial milestone. “It’s not that big of a deal,” You said, lowering your gaze.

“Well, I’d say reaching day 200 with Lee Donghyuck is quite an achievement. His relationships in high school barely made it past 20 days,” Jeno teasingly remarked, earning a laugh from you.

Jeno laughed along with you before adding, “But seriously, Donghyuck is lucky to have you. You guys have something special.”

His words carried a genuine warmth, which you appreciated. It surprised you every time when one of Donghyuck’s friends showed genuine acceptance toward you. They had been so quick to welcome you into their friend group when you two first started dating.

“Thanks, Jeno,” you said, hoping he could feel the sincerity in your words.

Why should you care about the opinions of others when you had all the encouragement you needed? The unwavering support from Donghyuck's friends and the strength of your bond with him made any external judgments or remarks seem insignificant.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ chapter five ~

"Okay, you have got to be kidding me," you groaned in frustration as you glanced at your phone.

The sight that greeted you was a series of pictures of you and Jeno from the other day, and now the online community site was blowing up with speculation. The comments were even worse than the last time. Before you could go down a rabbit hole of scrolling, Donghyuck swiftly snatched your phone out of your grasp.

“Hyuck,” you softly protested, extending your hand to retrieve your phone back. But he pulled his arm back, keeping the device out of reach.

“Nope.” He shook his head. “I’m confiscating this for today.”

“But–”

Donghyuck placed a quick peck on your lips before you could finish that sentence. “You shouldn’t care about what they think, babe.”

He glanced back at the article with an annoyed sigh. He didn’t understand why people were going after you. Couldn’t they just leave your relationship alone?

“Are you alright, though?” He asked, placing a hand over yours.

You nodded, “Of course I am.”

Of course, you were lying. The recent posts and the increased gossip bothered you more than they should. A part of you blamed yourself for all this happening. But you couldn’t tell Donghyuck that. Worrying him wasn’t going to make things better.

“Well if you are struggling, you can tell me okay?” He gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

For some reason, you sensed a subtle undercurrent of concern in his words. But you brushed it off as your tendency to overthink things, convincing yourself it was nothing.

Later that day, you were hanging out at Ahryun’s apartment. You lay flat on the floor in her bedroom, staring up at the ceiling while countless thoughts swam in your head.

“I just don’t understand why this keeps happening,” you sighed, venting your frustrations. “It’s like no matter where I go, someone is watching.”

Ahryun cast a glance back at you through her vanity mirror. "Someone must really not want you two together.”

“You think?” You frowned.

A lot of people didn’t like you being with Donghyuck. But whoever kept posting photos of you on the community site was clearly targeting you, leaving you apprehensive about the situation.

“Well I’m sure there are plenty of girls who find it difficult to accept you and Donghyuck being together,” Ahryun spoke nonchalantly, as she picked out a pink lip tint to wear. “They just can’t stand the fact that the popular and charming Lee Donghyuck is with someone so different.”

You pondered whether you truly were that different as Ahryun said. Sure, you might not come from a privileged background or possess the most striking physical appearance. You were ordinary, just like everyone else. What was so wrong about that?

“But seriously, you shouldn’t let it bother you (Y/n). There will always be people who will hate on you,” Ahryun said.

“Yeah you’re right…”

She did have a valid point. As long as you remained a college student navigating a judgmental society, criticism would inevitably be a part of your experience. Dwelling on it wasn’t going to get you anywhere.

Letting out a sigh, you sat up and directed your gaze towards the clock on Ahryun's nightstand, realizing the time.

"Hey, can I borrow your phone for a moment?" you asked, breaking the silence. "I should message Donghyuck to let him know I'm here."

"Of course," Ahryun smiled warmly, extending her hand to pass you the device.

Mouthing a quick thank-you, you received Ahryun's phone and swiftly began searching for your boyfriend's contact information. Just as you located his number, a notification popped up, drawing your attention. Your curiosity piqued, you briefly glanced at the preview, which read: "Someone commented on your post, 'Kang (Y/n) Seen Out with Lee Jeno at the Movies'." Having a weird feeling, you clicked on the notification, leading you to the UniYeon app. Scrolling up, your disbelief grew as you discovered that Ahryun…was the owner of the post

Overwhelmed, you decided to investigate further and opened her photo gallery. To your astonishment, you discovered numerous pictures of you and Renjun, followed by images of you and Jeno.

No, you couldn’t fathom this. Ahryun was your closest friend. She was someone you trusted wholeheartedly. She would never…

"Ahryun... what is all this?" you asked, confusion evident in your voice. A part of you desperately hoped that none of this could be true.

Ahryun spun around in her chair and met the look of betrayal in your eyes. She cursed when she saw you had the post open on her phone.

"(Y/n), I can explain—," she began.

You stepped back, unable to fully comprehend the situation. "Wait, so it was you all along? Why…"

Ahryun turned away, averting her gaze for a moment. Amid the tense silence, you caught the faint sound of a laugh slipping out from her lips.

“You know, you’re really pathetic Kang (Y/n),” She sneered, her words cutting through the air with a sharp edge. “Yes, it was me.”

You were startled by the sudden change in your best friend’s demeanor. “Why would you do that? The whole school is talking crap about me because of those posts.”

Ahryun fixed her gaze upon you, her expression lacked any remorse. There was an unsettling absence of any regret in her eyes, almost as if she were relieved to be exposed in this way. It was as if she had been waiting for the moment to discard the pretense of caring about you.

“Because I’ve liked Donghyuck long before you did,” she confessed. “I got tired of seeing you with him.”

Her resentful words revealed the depth of her hidden emotions. Your heart sank further, as you processed things. The revelation hit you like a tidal wave, making sense of Ahryun’s actions.

“So you wanted to sabotage me?” You shook your head in disbelief. “Why…we’ve been friends for so long.”

A smirk tugged at the corners of Ahryun's lips, her eyes gleaming with a hint of cruel satisfaction as she observed the wavering in your voice. Witnessing you in such a vulnerable state, after so long, seemed to gratify her.

“No matter how many times I thought about it, I just don’t get why he had to be with you, of all girls,” she said bitterly.

You took a deep breath, trying to process the magnitude of Ahryun’s actions. Seeing this new side of her left you questioning the authenticity of your friendship. Doubt crept in, as you considered the possibility that she had been pretending to be your friend this whole time.

“So you thought going behind my back and spreading false information about me would make us break up?”

"We both know how fragile you can be," Ahryun said slowly, her words carrying a calculated edge. "Like you were in high school."

The implication of her statement cut deep, resurrecting memories of past vulnerabilities. It felt as if she was exploiting your past struggles to justify her actions, further fueling the hurt and confusion that consumed you.

Before you could counter her words, Ahryun forcefully took hold of your arm. You gasped when she yanked your sleeves up, exposing the scars that held too many painful memories.

“Just remember that if he sees these hideous scars,” She threatened. “And when he does, he’ll see how broken you are. Nobody wants someone who is mentally unstable.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, as you’ve never felt more defenseless. She was using your past struggles as a weapon to tear you apart. Then to further sting to her words, she placed her hand on your shoulder as a twisted display of false comfort.

“If you can’t handle the facts, maybe you guys shouldn’t be together,” She said.

You stood up, gripping your bag tightly, and met her icy glare.

“Donghyuck isn't who you think he is,” you managed to say, your voice quivering. “He loves me, and nothing you say or do will ever change that.”

With a heavy heart, you turned away, a rush of long-forgotten emotions flooding through you. You didn’t bother to stop the tears from falling as you walked away. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you could already sense yourself slipping back into the depths of a dark place you hadn't visited since your teenage years.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ chapter six ~

A week had passed since your fallout with Ahryun, and you were doing your best to not let things get to you. But it was hard not to. You spent sleepless nights thinking about how things went wrong, and the subtle indications you failed to notice. Like her evident intrigue whenever you spoke about him, or the way her eyes lit up whenever his name was mentioned.

Nevertheless, you buried yourself in your schoolwork in hopes to tune out everything that was happening. Donghyuck noticed you seemed more withdrawn lately. You could see the concern in him growing, but you insisted that everything was fine.

One day you were on your way to meet Donghyuck after his class and stopped in the cafeteria to buy drinks for the both of you. You were inserting a dollar bill into the vending machine when a group of girls approached you unexpectedly. Their focused glares at you were filled with disdain and judgment.

“Look at that, it’s Kang (Y/n) the cheater.” one of the girls said, her voice dripping with hostility. “First it was Huang Renjun, and then Lee Jeno. Who’s next, Na Jaemin?”

You shrank back slightly, clenching your fists as you fought to maintain your composure. Despite them being three harmless girls, any sort of conflict easily intimidated you. Your heart raced, and a surge of anxiety threatened to overwhelm you, but you were determined to stand your ground.

“Please, you don’t know anything,” you said, your voice firm and steady. “So stay out of it.”

“You see, no one believes that quiet nice girl facade you try to uphold,” the girl beside the first one, scowled. “If you’re smart, you’d break up with him. I’m sure you’re aware that you don’t deserve him.”

You tried to not show them how their words pierced through you like a needle. The hate comments were bad enough. But being confronted in person made the situation ten times scarier.

Determined to not succumb to their empty threats, you grabbed the beverages from the vending machine and made the move to leave. But before you could escape their presence, the third girl twisted the cap off her soda bottle and spilled it on you. In mere seconds your clothes were drenched in the sticky liquid.

“Oops, my bad,” she laughed mockingly.

A wave of humiliation crashed over you, as you felt the weight of the stares and the whispers echoing through the cafeteria. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted Ahryun standing from a distance, watching in amusement. Was this all some twisted joke to her?

Back in high school, she was the only one who defended you. Now knowing her support and loyalty had been fake, made the sight of her standing idly by more painful.

Just as you were ready to break down, a voice yelled from behind you.

“Yah, what the hell do you think you’re doing to her?”

Turning your gaze, you saw Donghyuck storming into the cafeteria. His eyes were blazing with anger.

“Hyuck—” You tried to stop him before he could make the situation worse. But he was too angry to listen.

“You think it’s acceptable to gang up on someone based on false information?” His eyes glowered intensely. “You have no right to harass her or make judgments without knowing the whole truth.”

The cafeteria fell into an uneasy silence, the whispers fading into the background as his words reverberated through the space. The girls who had targeted you were momentarily taken aback by Donghyuck's unyielding defense, their expressions shifting from arrogance to uncertainty.

Deciding he had enough of this, Donghyuck firmly grasped your hand and guided you away from the prying eyes and tense atmosphere. He let out a sigh of concern as his gaze fell upon the stained fabric of your shirt, prompting him to remove his hoodie and put it on you.

“I’m so sorry (Y/n),” he mumbled, even though he wasn’t the one who should be apologizing. “Are you okay?”

You shook your head. “I’m fine, Hyuck. Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure though?” he asked, extending his hand towards you.

But you took a step back, feeling frustrated. “Yes, I already told you. I’m fine.”

“(Y/n)—”

“I just… I just want to be alone right now, okay?” You placed the drink you bought in his hands and walked past him.

Later that night, you found yourself once again unable to fall asleep. It felt like the troublesome thoughts in your head were slowly killing you, weighing heavily on your conscience. The weight of self-blame consumed you, as you couldn't help but think that all of this was your fault. It’s been so long since you felt this way, completely worthless. You didn’t deserve to have someone as sweet as Donghyuck in your life.

Without thinking much, you sluggishly sat down in your desk chair and absentmindedly opened the drawer. Inside lay an old friend you hadn't laid eyes on in ages. Ignoring the creeping sense of dread, you lifted the gleaming box cutter from the drawer.

Holding your breath, you tightly gripped the handle and pulled up your sleeve. You barely felt it when the cold blade punctured your flesh, tracing a diagonal line across your pale skin. Tears streamed down your cheek as you repeated the same incisions, mirroring the first one. The sensation of hot blood seeping out became palpable with each new cut.

You honestly didn't know how you would react if Donghyuck were to witness you in this state. The fear of him discovering the depth of your brokenness was more terrifying than the fresh scars that adorned your skin. Perhaps Ahryun was right, maybe you couldn’t handle this.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ chapter seven ~

You kept your gaze locked on the steaming cup of hot chocolate, anxiously waiting for the arrival of your boyfriend. He rushed into the café with an apologetic smile, as he sat down in the empty chair across from you.

“Sorry, I’m late. Renjun needed my help with something,” he said.

In response, you slid the other drink in his direction with an understanding smile. “I got your usual.”

"You are the best," he praised, lifting the cup of coffee to his lips for a sip.

You listened quietly as he shared about how busy he’s been lately with school and his internship. However, the gnawing sensation in your stomach kept you from fully focusing on the conversation.

“Oh, right!” Donghyuck’s eyes lit up as if a light bulb suddenly went off in his brain. “Your birthday is coming up, babe. What do you want to do?”

It was at that moment, you recognized the pressing need to speak up before your courage slipped away.

“Donghyuck…there’s something I have to say,” you spoke cautiously.

The confusion in his eyes, when you used his full name, was almost unbearable for you to see. But he waited expectantly to hear whatever you were about to say. The fact that he was oblivious to the reason you asked him to meet you here made you feel nauseated. You were aware that you couldn't continue to tiptoe around the issue for much longer.

Taking a deep breath, you locked eyes with him once more. Without allowing any room for hesitation, you uttered the next three words with unwavering determination.

"Let’s break up.”

You witnessed his face falter, a stunned look settling in as he struggled to comprehend the gravity of the situation.

“(Y/n)...what are you saying?” he chuckled half-heartedly. “You’re not being serious, right?”

Biting down on your lip, you used the explanation you had carefully prepared. “I realized that I can’t do this whole campus couple thing anymore. It feels suffocating, like every moment we spend together, people are watching and waiting to criticize me for something."

“I…I had no idea you felt that way,” Donghyuck swallowed, his voice tinged with surprise at your confession. “But (Y/n), we can work through this. I promise—”

“No, we can’t,” you deadpanned. “You should find someone better than me.”

You’ve never despised yourself more than you did in this moment. The hurt in his eyes reflected your own, a stark reminder that you were the source of his new pain.

In dismay, Donghyuck reached for your hand in desperation. “(Y/n) please, don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve already made up my mind,” your voice trembled with a mix of despondence and resignation.

Slowly you reached behind your neck and unclasped the necklace he gave you a while ago. Holding back tears, you delicately placed the shimmering moon pendant in his hand. Returning this symbol of your connection was far more heart-wrenching than you had anticipated.

The weight of the decision pressing on your shoulders, you gathered your belongings and rose from your seat, your determination masking the cracks in your resolve. The distant echoes of his anguished voice calling after you tugged at your heart, but you ignored them. With quickened steps, you hastened out of the café, your eyes fixed on the path ahead, knowing that if you allowed yourself even a moment of hesitation, you’d give into your selfish emotions.

You never cried so hard in your life as you did that evening when you returned to your apartment. You had just pushed away the one person who had brought so much joy into your once gloomy life. But as long as your mind continued to waver, you understood the importance of keeping everyone at a distance was safer.

Even though it meant bringing an end to a love that was incredibly precious to you, deep down, you told yourself that things were better this way.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ chapter eight ~

The next month following your breakup, felt like a self-imposed prison sentence. As the days blurred together, you had become a shadow of your former self. With the absence of your best friend and boyfriend, you found solace in isolation, confining yourself to the four walls of your apartment. It felt as if you were bound to your living space, only leaving to attend classes or go to your part-time job at the library.

The mere thought of encountering Donghyuck outside filled you with an overwhelming sense of unease, making it unbearable to step foot beyond the safety of your apartment. The idea of facing him, of seeing the pain reflected in his eyes or the awkwardness that would surely follow, was something you couldn't bring yourself to confront.

With your mental state continuing to deteriorate, you found yourself falling back into old habits. The blade in your drawer became the sinister companion you turned to when the emotional pain became too much. At some point, you stopped feeling anything as you wiped the crimson trails that traced down your arm.

Despite the tireless efforts of several friends, their attempts to reach out to you were met with distant silence and evasive responses. Renjun had repeatedly urged you to call him if you wanted to talk, while Jeno and Jaemin tried their best to cheer you up. However, their kind gestures only served to make your heartache worse. You knew that they were deeply concerned for both you and Donghyuck.

Secretly, you harbored the hope that the breakup wasn’t affecting Donghyuck just as deeply as it was for you. In a bittersweet twist, now that he was no longer tied to you, all you wanted was for him to move on swiftly and find happiness without you.

On a Friday night, Jaemin had made his way to your apartment. He sat with you on the couch, saddened by your withdrawn state. The toll of your emotional turmoil was evident in your appearance.

You had forsaken the delicate hues of your wardrobe, the creamy whites and light blues that once adorned your form, for a monochrome palette of darkness. Your complexion had lost its natural radiance, leaving your skin pale and lacking its usual vitality. Dark circles had etched their mark under your weary eyes, evidence of the sleepless nights and internal struggles you had endured.

“Come with me to the spring festival,” Jaemin suggested. “It’s your favorite event of the school year.”

You looked up at him with a weak smile, your eyes reflecting a mix of gratitude and despair. Subconsciously, you tugged down on the ends of your sleeves, afraid your scars might show.

“I’m sorry Jaemin. But I really can’t...right now,” you mumbled. “It wouldn’t be right for me to go out and have fun.”

Jaemin’s expression filled with genuine concern, as he reached to put his hand on your shoulder. “Don’t say that (Y/n),” he said softly, his voice laced with empathy. “I understand that you’re having just as much of a hard time as Donghyuck is right now. But shutting yourself out from the rest of the world isn’t healthy. You know he wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

The mention of his name was enough to cause your lip to quiver. You raised a trembling hand to press against your watery eyes.

Shaking your head, you lamented, “No, I don’t deserve your kindness or anyone else’s. I’m a terrible person. You don’t even know, Jaemin.”

It hurt Jaemin to see his friend so distraught. While he had a faint understanding of your tendency to self-criticize, he didn’t think you’d be this harsh on yourself. He had a hunch that you didn't truly desire to end things with Donghyuck.

You cried into Jaemin’s shoulder a bit, feeling oddly better after letting out some of your emotions. Once you calmed down, Jaemin tried to convince you again about the spring festival.

“Come on, it’ll be good for you to step outside for a bit,” He insisted. “You don’t even have to stay that long. If you’re not feeling it, I’ll bring you back here.”

Just the thought of stepping into a crowd after the recent events sent a shiver down your spine. But Jaemin’s unwavering support and effort to help you reclaim some sort of normalcy, made you feel guilty. Deep down, you knew you couldn’t keep hiding forever. Maybe, just maybe, you could go out this once for a little distraction.

With a hesitant nod, you gathered the strength to pull yourself off the couch. “Okay, Jaemin. I’ll try, but no promises.”

Jaemin jumped up with excitement, his face lighting up as he urged you to the door. Once you arrived at the festival, you were greeted by the enchanting glow of the hung-up lanterns and spring-themed music playing in the background. The sight of cherry blossom petals dancing in the air reminded you of why you liked the festival so much in the first place.

“Kang (Y/n), you made it!” Renjun waved to you from one of the booths. Jeno stood beside him and gave you a kind smile.

Seeing familiar faces reignited a small flicker of joy you haven’t experienced in a while. Gradually, you allowed yourself to be swept away by the night. You let the guys guide you through the vibrant booths, adorned by colorful decorations. The air was filled with the aroma of sizzling fishcakes and the subtle fragrance of peach-flavored soju. You made a conscious effort to ignore the icy stares that people directed toward you.

Amidst the bustle of the festivities, your eyes caught a glimpse of a certain two people seated on one of the benches. Donghyuck appeared to be slightly drunk, and Ahryun was sitting right beside him. Ignoring any feelings of unease, you discreetly walked closer to where they were.

“I miss her so much. Nothing feels the same anymore without her,” Donghyuck blubbered. “I should’ve been there for her more and realized she was hurting.”

Ahryun reached out to tenderly hold his hand. “It’s not your fault, Donghyuck. (Y/n) made her own choices, and you shouldn’t be miserable because of her.”

She paused before gathering the courage to continue. “You know, I’ve liked you for some time now Donghyuck-ah.”

The boy’s expression shifted, caught off guard by Ahryun’s abrupt confession. He might be a little intoxicated, but his senses were still intact.

“I know how it sounds. But I liked you long before (Y/n) did,” Ahryun persisted. “And since you guys broke up I thought…”

“So what, you thought you could step in and replace (Y/n)? Is that it?” He started to question her intentions.

Ahryun’s eyes cried out with desperation. “I…I could be better for you than she was, Donghyuck. (Y/n) was just weak, unable to handle the challenges of being in a relationship.”

Donghyuck's eyes hardened, his protective instincts kicking in. "Aren't you her friend?" he asked. "Why are you talking about her like that?"

Ahryun's desperation heightened as she felt her chance slipping away. Ignoring his question, she leaned in closer, her voice now a seductive whisper. With a determined grip on his jacket collar, she tried to pull him closer to her.

"Donghyuck, if you just let me," Ahryun murmured, her voice filled with an unsettling mixture of desire and urgency.

That was when you reached your breaking point. The sight of Donghyuck and Ahryun, coupled with the flood of conflicting emotions inside you, became too overwhelming to bear. Slowly, you began to backtrack, stepping away from the scene that brought you so much pain. Each step felt heavier than the last as if the weight of your emotions was pulling you down. You turned in the opposite direction, determined to leave it all behind.

Just as you left the scene, Ahryun leaned closer to kiss Donghyuck. You missed seeing him push her away in outrage. He quickly stood up from the bench, his face contorted with anger and disappointment.

"Are you kidding me right now?" he exclaimed, his voice filled with disbelief. He locked his gaze with Ahryun, his eyes burning with a mix of frustration and disgust.

"Kang (Y/n) is the person for me," he declared firmly. "Not you or anyone else."

He left Ahryun feeling torn, with not even the slightest bit of sympathy. However, his path was interrupted when he spotted Jaemin standing nearby, his face filled with panic.

"Hold on, Hyuck," Jaemin spoke urgently, his voice quivering. "You need to know that (Y/n) saw Ahryun try to kiss you. She... she didn't look too good.”

Donghyuck took a step back, his heart sinking, and let out a frustrated curse. As if his night couldn't get any worse. "Where did she go?" he asked Jaemin, his voice tinged with worry.

As soon as Jaemin pointed him in the right direction, Donghyuck swiftly turned and hurried in the path you had taken. His heart raced as he desperately tried to catch up to you.

"(Y/n), wait!" he called after you.

Your body tensed at the sound of his voice and you froze in your tracks. The last thing you wanted was to see him right now. But Donghyuck wasn’t going to let you slip away so easily.

He approached you, his breath coming out in labored gasps. “Please, can we just talk?”

The pleading tone in his voice was what caused you to give in. Cautiously, you turned around to face him.

“What is it?” You were almost afraid to ask.

“Did you…did you know that Ahryun liked me?” He asked in disbelief. “Is that why you broke up with me?”

You looked at him, feeling lost and unsure of how to respond. Donghyuck sighed, closing the distance between you, his eyes filled with sincerity.

"(Y/n), I would have never gone to her. I never had any intentions of moving on or being with anyone else," he said earnestly. “You know that, right?”

There was a part of you that felt a glimmer of gratitude, knowing that Donghyuck still held feelings for you. It puzzled you how he could be so sweet, especially when you were the one who hurt him.

Feeling overwhelmed by your own guilt, you took a step back, distancing yourself from Donghyuck. Your voice trembled with a mixture of emotions as you spoke.

"Why are you being so kind to me? You should hate me.”

His eyes glistened with tears. “I could never hate you, Kang (Y/n). Please don’t think you’re unworthy of kindness or love.”

You felt a surge of frustration welling up inside you, pushing back against his words.

“No, I’m not,” You snapped.

Whatever had transpired between him and Ahryun didn’t matter. Despite Donghyuck’s reassurances, you still clung to the belief that you were damaged and broken. If he knew about your past, if he saw the scars beneath your sweater, he would never be able to love you.

Mumbling a quiet apology, you pushed past him, your mind clouded with self-doubt and regret. The weight of the evening bore down on your shoulders, and you couldn't help but blame yourself for stepping out into the world once again. Going to the festival now felt like a mistake, amplifying your insecurities and highlighting your perceived inadequacies.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ chapter nine ~

Ahryun seethed with anger and resentment as she refused to accept Donghyuck's rejection. In her mind, she saw you as the sole obstacle standing between her and the possibility of being with him. The rejection fueled her bitterness and the desire for revenge brewed within her. All she yearned for was to witness you suffer once more, to see you hurt as deeply as she believed she had been hurt. It was time for people to see you for who you truly were.

The morning sunlight painted a gentle glow across the campus as you arrived for your poetry class the day after the festival. However, as you walked by, you noticed a peculiar shift in the way people looked at you as they passed by. Whispers filled the air, and bewildered gazes followed your every step. You wondered if Ahryun posted another rumor about you again. Had she secretly captured photos of you and Jaemin this time?

Feeling paranoid, you paused to take out your phone and quickly navigated the UniYeon site. As the page loaded, the color drained from your face when you were greeted by the headline post.

“‘Kang (Y/n)’s Horrific Past Exposed,’” someone read aloud as they scrolled through the article on her phone. The person walking with them peered over the person’s shoulder to get a better look.

“Wah, did she actually try to kill herself?”

No, no, no, this couldn't be happening. With trembling fingers, you clicked on the post, your heart pounding. As you scanned the text, it mercilessly revealed all the painful details about your past suicide attempt in high school. The weight of each word intensified your feelings of shame and vulnerability. And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, there it was—the video capturing the haunting moment you ran into traffic, displayed at the bottom of the article.

You felt like you were reliving your trauma in high school, all over again. The piercing stares from those around you felt like a repeat performance, a mix of pity and judgment intertwined. There was only one other person in this university who knew about this incident. Min Ahryun.

Now the whole university was aware of what kind of person you were. Which meant that he knew too. Suddenly, the thought of attending your poetry class faded into the background. Overwhelmed with panic, your feet instinctively moved in reverse, and urged you to retreat.

▃▃▃

The second Donghyuck saw the UniYeon post, he abandoned everything else and set out to look for you. He sprinted to the location of your class, only to discover that you weren’t there. Panic consumed him as he realized that you must have left the campus.

Reading the post was emotionally excruciating for him. He couldn't fathom the depths of your anxiety and the overwhelming pain you must have experienced during that dark period. This had to be what you were trying to tell him that one night after you had cut your hand. He was angry with himself, thinking about how you have been suffering alone in silence this whole time.

“(Y/n)!” He pressed the doorbell, once he got to your apartment unit. When you didn’t come to the door, Donghyuck punched in the passcode to your door and let himself in.

You weren’t in the living room or the kitchen. So he darted over to your bedroom and was met with a closed door. He banged on it anxiously, calling out your name.

“Please, (Y/n),” He pleaded desperately. “Let me in.”

The sound of his voice barely registered, as you tried to collect yourself. It felt like all your fears were coming true. You just wanted all of it to go away.

Somehow, Donghyuck managed to break open the lock on your door forcefully and rushed into the room. The sight of you slumped on the floor, tears staining your cheeks, shattered him inside.

Donghyuck approached you carefully, kneeling before you. “(Y/n)...”

“You saw it, didn’t you?”

He nodded silently in response and tried to take your hand. But when you flinched in response to his touch, a look of suspicion crossed his face. His eyes searched yours, trying to understand the reason behind your reaction.

That’s when he glanced down and noticed the splotch of blood on your hand. His worry deepened, as he started to wonder about the desperate measures you had taken to deal with your pain.

Without saying anything, he reached again for your arm. You didn’t say anything this time and looked away when you felt your sleeve being rolled up. A deep sense of shame crawled up your throat as more tears blurred your vision.

Donghyuck couldn’t control the tears that cascaded down his cheeks when he saw your arm covered in angry red marks.

“(Y/n), why…?”

“I’m sorry,” you wept brokenly, “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

In the next moments, Donghyuck pulled you into his lap, engulfing you in a tight embrace. Your fingers instinctively gripped onto his shirt as sobs escaped your lips. He never felt so powerless, hearing your heart-breaking cries and feeling your body tremble against his. Tears streamed endlessly as he held you close, silently sharing your anguish. All he could do was cry with you.

“I’m so sorry,” the boy fretted. “I didn’t know you were in this much pain. I wish I had known, (Y/n). I wish I could have been there for you when you needed someone the most.”

“There were so many times I wanted to open up to you,” you managed to utter through your messy tears. “But I was so afraid of losing you, Hyuck. I didn’t want to be a burden to you.”

Donghyuck, in response, leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to your temple. He stroked your hair softly.

"Oh (Y/n), you could never be a burden to me," he murmured, his voice filled with tenderness. His eyes glistened with tears as he looked at you, his heart breaking for the pain you had endured alone. "How could you ever think that? You mean the world to me.”

You wrapped your arms around him tightly. Your voice was muffled as you spoke into his hoodie. “I’m sorry, Donghyuck. I’m sorry for pushing you away and not letting you in.”

"It's okay," he cooed soothingly, his voice filled with compassion. He continued to rub gentle circles across your back, offering comfort and reassurance. "It's okay, babe. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere.”

Once the both of you calmed down a bit, Donghyuck retrieved some medical supplies from your bathroom. You were surprised to learn how skilled he was at cleaning and bandaging wounds.

After he finished up, the two of you found solace in each other’s arms, spending the rest of the day in bed. Donghyuck listened attentively as you finally confessed everything that had been weighing on your heart. You didn’t detect even the slightest hint of repulsion from him. Witnessing how empathetic he was with you, allowed you to see that Donghyuck’s feelings for you were sincere.

The stormy gray clouds of despair gradually disperse, allowing rays of warmth and hope to seep into your heart. Your former friend had tried to tear you apart again. Everyone at the university knew your secret. Mentally, you were weaker than ever. But with Donghyuck by your side, you felt like everything was going to be okay.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ epilogue ~

In the coming days, Donghyuck and you walked hand in hand across campus. You chose to ignore the curious looks and hushed voices of speculations. The strength of your bond radiated in your intertwined fingers, symbolizing a resilient unity that could not be shaken by mere judgment.

“I just thought you should know,” Donghyuck said, glancing over at you fondly. “You look beautiful today.”

His flirtations still made you blush profusely, your cheeks tinged with a rosy hue as you subconsciously reached to hold the delicate crescent moon pendant around your neck. The necklace served as a reminder of the love and tenderness you found in each other’s presence.

Deciding you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of making you flustered, you playfully stopped walking and pulled the boy closer, surprising him with a swift yet passionate kiss. His lips met yours eagerly, his handing finding its place on your waist as the intimacy of the moment deepened. In that fleeting embrace, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the warmth of your connection and the electric chemistry that sparked between you.

"I love you, Lee Donghyuck," you said confidently, your eyes filled with sincerity and affection, after pulling away from the kiss. Hearing you say those words first was rare, and it took him by surprise.

His gaze softened as he pressed his forehead against yours. "I love you too, (Y/n). More than you'll ever know."

The two of you might have faced some challenging obstacles. And you knew that life would continue to present its share of difficulties. However, you were certain now that the bond you had with Donghyuck was very much real and unbreakable. Knowing you were stronger together, you believed you could overcome anything.

─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─❀*̥˚─

#nct dream #nct 127 #nct dream fics #nct dream x reader #haechan x reader #lee haechan #lee donghyuck #haechan fic #kpop #nct dream angst #college au #nctzen #czennie #haechan scenarios

138 notes · View notes

in-arlathan · 2 years ago

Text

Get To Know Me

Who dis? It's me! Been a hot minute, hasn't it? This year has been a pile of dung up until now, if I'm being completely honest, hence my absence from Tumblr and most social media. I had an accident in December and have been feeling like dirt ever since. But: I'm back now! Mostly thanks to my beloved @johaerys-writes and the amazing @mogwaei who tagged me for this game. Thanks to you two! ❤ It's been a please reading your posts.

And now: Let's dive in!

Share your wallpaper: I'm a very boring person who has her own artwork as a wallpaper on her phone (talking about this study I did last year). XD It reminds me that (every once in a while) I do create something that I actually enjoy without any self-doubt or regret, and I like that.

Last song you listened to: "Eyes Closed" by Ed Sheeran. I'm a very basic person, lol.

Currently reading: Let me check Goodreads real quick... Yeah, I'm reading far too many books at the same time again. So here's the top 3 of books I'm reading and enjoying the most atm:

The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman

Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

There's also a bunch of fanfic I need to catch up on but my mind has been all over the place.

Last move: "Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves". My P&P podcast party had been invited to a preview 2 weeks ago and we had a fun time watching that movie.

Craving: Time off. I've been working non-stop for the past 8 months or so (with Christmas being the only exception) and I'm feeling super drained right now. Luckily, there are a few short trips coming up in April and July, so there is that!

What are you wearing right now: Basic black jeans and a white knitted sweater. It's spring but it's still flipping cold in my apartment. Ooph!

How tall are you: 168 cm or 5'5 feet (I guess?)

Piercings: Just the two for my earrings. As I said, I'm *very* basic. :')

Tattoos: Currently I got two but I plan on getting more later this year. Gotta save up some money first.

Glasses? Contacts? I got 3 different glasses (transparent, gold and brown frames) and contacts because I like to switch things up.

Last drink: I'm currently having some coffee with oat milk aka The breakfast of Champions. Or so I keep telling myself XD

Last thing you ate: Chicken wrap with lots of cheese. It was amazing.

Favorite color: My taste in color(s) shifts constantly but I'm currently obsessed with green in various tones. I keep getting back to like a warmer green because it makes me feel very cozy. But I also adore a good color combo of orange and violet/lilac or yellow and dark blue. It depends on my mood.

Current obsession: Truth be told, because of the current state of my mental health, I have a hard time being obsessed about anything. It's not like I can't enjoy things (I know that that feels like and I don't want to get back to *those days*) but there's not hyperfixation that lives rent-free in my head. And you know what? It feels terrible! I miss the feeling of being utterly obsessed about something. I crave that level of excitement, honestly!

Unrelated Obsession: Okay, I guess this means non-fandom obsessions. I do have one of those! A short while back, I read a book by the title "Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World" which was fascinating. I loved that it was not Euro-centric and instead focussed on the achievements of Genghis and his successors. I've been gobbling media with the same or similiar topics – including finally playing "Ghost of Tsushima" which send me reading up on the Mongol invasion of Japan. It's been an intriguing ride!

Any pets: I'm too allergic to have cats, dogs, and other animals and I hate it. I want a little doggo so badly... 💔

Do you have a crush on anyone: IRL? Not anymore. I used to have a crush for most of last year but since he started ghosting me a few months back, I decided to focus my attention elsewhere. I'm *done* with dating and have been for the past couple of years. As for fictional characters... I have to go with Solas, although (as I mentioned) my excitement has died down somewhat. I still love that boy to death but I'm not as obsessed as I used to be.

Favorite fictional character: How dare you make me chose one?! I have a trillion fave characters and they're all precious to me ;_; No, I will not pick one because I truly can't!

The last place you traveled: I went to Cologne, my hometown, three weeks ago, but I assume that doesn't count as traveling. I think my last real vacation was in 2019 when I travelled to the Leipzig Book Fair. Oh my... 😅 (And I was wondering why I felt so drained all the time, lol. Dang... what a reality check. This hurts!).

That's it! Hope you enjoyed the read :3

Time to forward some tags. As always, please feel free to join in or ignore the tag: @serial-chillr @faerieavalon @thebookworm0001 @ohmypawsandwhiskers @pikapeppa @oxygenforthewicked @fiadhaisteach @noire-pandora @ellie-effie. Sending all of you lots of love. I hope you're doing great!

Until next time, lovelies! <3

#personal #tag game #get to know me

14 notes · View notes

captainderyn · 2 years ago

Text

Get To Know Me

Tagged by @tiredassmage, @elveny, and @anchanted-one thank you <3

Share Your Wallpaper:

My current laptop background is the art of Ryn I commissioned from @sbeep

And my current phone lock screen is this really cool piece of the Normandy:

I won't share my home screen but its a picture of my partner and one of our cats <3

Last Song Listened To: It was either Bite Me by Avril Lavigne or Tantrum by Charlotte Sands, can't remember lol.

Last Movie: I thiiink it was John Wick 3? We've been watching the John Wick movies after my partner learned I'd never seen them.

Craving: More sleep. I don't need more sleep but I really want more sleep. Also been really wanting some pickles/salty stuff the last few days.

What are you wearing rn? PJs/lounge clothes still! Flannel pj pants, black sweatshirt, and fluffy white blanket.

How tall are you? 5'6!

Piercings: I have my ears pierced, which only happened over the summer lol. I'd love to maybe get another piercing in each ear but don't feel inclined enough to go do it yet.

Tattoos: I have one! It's on my inner left bicep and its Mt Washington/the presidential range of the White Mountains with the Orion constellation above the peak. It's got some personal meaning to it but also just liked the way it looked. In theory I want at least one more tattoo, I want to shards of Narsil somewhere on my body but I can't decide where (Well, it makes most sense in my brain to get it on my inner forearm but I don't know if I want it there).

Glasses/contacts: Neither!

Last Drink: Technically water but I'm going to go make myself some earl grey tea with a splash of coffee (its really good, saw it on MorganDrinksCoffee's youtube channel).

Last Show: Uhh...I think it was an episode of The Circle on Netflix over dinner Sunday night because it was a stressful weekend and we just needed something super chill and ridiculous to watch.

Last thing you ate: I got dinner at Culvers last night because I wanted a salted caramel milkshake lol. And their cheese curds (Thank you midwest/south for introducing me to Culvers)

Favorite Color: Kinda swings around between a deep plum purple and a burgundy color.

Current Obsession: Still teetering on the obsession edge of Cyberpunk 2077, though its not got as much of a choke hold on me as it has the last like...two months. Elden Ring is lurking in the background menacingly.

Unrelated Obsession: The Exiled Fleet series by JS Dewes has taken root once again because her new book Rubicon comes out today. So I've been consuming a lot of recorded interviews/con panels/ect in anticipation.

Any Pets: In this household: one menace tuxedo cat pulled from a dumpster in Texas (Blasto) and my poor cinnamon roll of an orange maine coon mix (Atlas).

Honorary mention is Zeke, the 120lbs golden german shepard mix that was a stray down here last summer and I fell in absolute love with but couldn't feasibly adopt, who now lives with my parents up in New England lol.

Do you have a crush on anyone? My partner :P Also fictional characters/OCs

Favorite Fictional Character: HMM way too many to count tbh. Aragorn is probably the longest running fictional character because hooo boy. Can I say female V from Cyberpunk? I think the voice acting for her was done phenomenally. But if I had to choose from not toeing the OC line, probably Adequin Rake from the Last Watch (Js Dewes).

Last Place Traveled: Not counting the city for work or like...~moving~ out here probably to the other side of Kentucky to visit in-laws before I moved out of state. Or maybe back home to NH over the summer? Depends on technicalities of "travel" lol.

Tagging: @greyias annnd....anyone else who sees this and is inclined to do it!

#tag games #captainderyn memes

7 notes · View notes

merge-conflict · 2 years ago

Note

10 & 14 for Val/Abernathy & 20 & 16 for Val/Goro? :3c

:3 (Questions here)

10. What was their last big fight? What did they learn from it? (Valentine/Abernathy)

I'll preface this by saying that their style of fighting is all outwardly civil, because showing real distress or anger would be losing. So you've got one of those situations where all the air goes out of the room and they end up saying very vicious things in calm reasonable voices. Their last argument wasn't anything monumental on its own, but it was one of those ones where a lot of bullshit had been simmering for a while. When Abernathy gave Valentine some condescending feedback on a project she was working on, it just devolved into both of them trying to hurt the other as much as possible. Their fights usually go along the lines of 'You're never going to be good enough (Abernathy to Valentine)' and 'Your obsessive need to control people is why you don't have any friends besides me (Valentine to Abernathy)'.

They made up, but a few weeks after this Abernathy broke up with her in a public place and shortly after that after she got her promotion to SpecOps director and got Valentine kicked down the ladder with Jenkins. So Abernathy learned to be excessively paranoid about becoming a target for revenge, and Valentine learned not to ever get too comfortable. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ 14. What little things remind them of each other? (Valentine/Abernathy)

I guess this one is angsty because obviously they did not have a good breakup.

For Abernathy, it's every time she sees an exec working hand in hand with a trusted lieutenant, and whenever she's at a fancy party and doesn't have Valentine to text snarky commentary to. Valentine was really into all her fancy coffee blends and so on occasion she still hears her ranting intensely on the comparison of one roast over another when she's having her morning cups.

For Valentine, inevitably anything to do with the fucked up internal politics and power struggle within Arasaka will always have that sort of tinge of memory. She also still remembers all of Abernathy's favorite snacks and places to eat and socialize, which she now avoids entirely. 16. How do they react when the other is upset? How do they try to help? (Valentine/Goro)

Heh, well throughout the game events Valentine oscillates violently between "Everything's fine lol :)" and "If I can't stab someone or something in the next five minutes I'm going to lose it :)" so Goro gets a lot of practice. His strategy is generally to be a quiet voice of reason and stick close by for when she is ready to cool off and lean on him. He's also found distracting her with innocuous and unrelated conversation to be helpful.

On the other hand when they're together Valentine usually is expending some amount of brain power anticipating his reactions to things (she gets pretty good at it, so it's instinctual) and pre-empting as many conflicts as she can. Otherwise, Goro is a much more emotionally stable person than she is, but also much more (successfully) repressed, so often her work is to openly acknowledge she can tell he is upset. Most of the time the things that upset him are outside of her control (survivor bias lol), so she just listens to him get it off his chest.

20. If they disagree, who's usually the one to compromise? (Valentine/Goro)

Valentine 100% lmao. Either she won't mention that she disagrees or she'll tell him, but agree to do it his way anyway. There are times when she thinks she's right but that she can convince him, but she'll do it in the most convoluted non-confrontational way possible, and she's lucky one of his career skills is being able to understand what someone wants without saying it. (There was that one time she punched him in the jaw instead, but that was an Outlier.)

Which isn't to say Goro intentionally steamrolls her, but he's used to being obeyed as much as he is being Saburo's shadow. Still, he doesn't really want her to just go along with whatever he does so he does make the effort to compromise occasionally even if he thinks he's right. Luckily they don't disagree on most of the important things, and for most of the other stuff they're confident enough just to tease each other about those differences of opinion. (e.g. can the snacks sold in gas stations be considered Food?)

#ask meme #valentine #reading this like oh I guess Valentine has some Issues huh #johnny chewing drywall listening to her explain that all conversations are like disarming a bomb #and every meeting is a tactical battle that must be Won to be successful #*slaps valentine* you can fit so many neuroses in this #ok I finally did it #every time I think about abernathy and valentine the whole thing becomes so much worse #cyberpunk 2077

4 notes · View notes

after-nine-at-the-oasis · 2 years ago

Text

I'm starting the review a few minutes late but I have been watching :)).

Hmm busy?

Ope

OPE

Girl xDD

She ain't even watching LOL

C'mon girl turn around xD

YES phew xD

Awww :'DD

Aww 🥰🥰 <33

OH GOSH

O.O

UH OH

Hi Maddie :DD!!

DANG a bank robber lol???

(me acting like I didn't watch the promo 25 minutes ago xD)

SLFKGJDKHGS she literally just answered the call XD

C'mon y'all

There's no WAY this is good for this guy 😭

The road burn must be real xdd

Hi Athena :D

Ope fake money?

WHAOPE (like woah-ope almost) PAINT

UH OHHH

I hope the guy's okay 😬😬

Okay phew he's alive :)

Hi Bobby :D

Hi Chimney 🥰

Hi Buck :))

Hi Eddie :)!

Hi Ravi :D!!

Hi Hen :))!!

Oof my guy though xdd

Ope?

AWW the ring :'DD

Aww there she is 🥰🥰

YAYY she siad yes :DD

Aww 🥰🥰

Wait girl why?

O.O

OH GOSH LADY

I mean I get not wanting to drop it on him now but GIRL 😭😭

I don't think it's gonna lessen the blow too much in the long run xd like I mean he'll still be like "I got dragged across the road for her" lol xdd

OOF Chim's gonna doubt it now DD:

NOOO

XDD Eddie lol

Ayy y'all off :D

On an unrelated note we at least deserve a mention of the tarlos wedding

Like sure anything beyond 2x03 we DID make up about their (the two teams) relationship BUT STILL

They might canonically be friends xDD

Anyway lol

Honestly slay Hen good for you 🥰

THEN DOOOON'T!!

YOU HAVE BUUUUCK!!

Oof all except for Chim and Ravi xdd

Rip y'all good luck lol

I am sorry about the ring Chim xdd

NOO Chim DD:

Come on man nooo :(((

Chimmmm 😭😭😭😭

Aww hey Madeie :))

Oof lol xD

Oop o.o

Ooh lol good excuse xD

Ahh saved by the bell Chim XD

Lol that does sound kinda sus

UH OH

AAHHHH SHE'S GONNA FIND IT

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

I am not okay xdd

Lol hey Eddie xD

Is Chris being his tía?? I'm confused XDD

I guess just random shot of Chris anyway hi my boy <33

Sir nooo

Date BUUUUCK xDD <33!!

Wait is that the same lady lol

Is that her again??

Sir it's giving stalker XD

Oh okay no lol

Different people xDD

Ope xD as it should be 😌 /hj XD

OOF not the dog too Eddie xDD

Ahh lol <3

SLFKGJDKHGS Maddie xD

Bestie lol

The way she's about to drink the coffee and just sets it down again XDDD I can't lol

Honey xDD <33

AWW :')))

Lol at least she seems to like it xD

But the aww I just mean her trying it on and being emotional

Aww :'))

OH NO

Oh crap XDD 😳

IT'S STUCK SLFKGHDHKGS 😭😬

NAUR girl xD

I don't think tugging it like that is gonna help lol

Ohhh nooo girl xD

Ope hey girl!

(psst. Buck. GET WITH EDDIEEEE)

Wow that place seems cool :D

:OOOOOOOOO?????!!?!!!??!!?

H E Y L U C Y :OOO :DDDD!!!!!!!

Now Buck's acting awkward XDD

AHH (awh not aah) so that's where she went!! Good for her :))

Girl you're making it awkward xD Like no need to talk like that lol

Dang Buck way to be subtle lol xD

Less to Lucy more to what's her face lol

Sir XD

Lol YUP she knows xdd

I mean it wasn't reeeally a thing

Not enough for you to break up with your girlfriend xD

At the time I mean not this not-even-girlfriend lol

#9-1-1 #911 #911 on fox #911onfox #gayfirefightershow #oasis's 9-1-1 chatter #yes I'm very behind I got distracted watching a lot lol

2 notes · View notes

psychelis-new · 1 year ago

Note

Hi lys, how are you?

Chocolates, giggles, dolls, whispers <3

Hello, I'm doing kinda okay thanks wby?

[chocolates] what is your special treat? the one you save for special occasions to spoil yourself with, or buy to make your day a little brighter I don't think I have a special treat for myself, it changes if anything. It could be food of different types (sweet or sour: for example there are rice flour biscuits I really like or chocolates with alcohol or coffee flavour but also sour appetizers of different tastes like pizza, omelette, cheese...) or anything else tbh like things to draw/paint with. I am still not that used to buy/save stuff for myself as a treat, I rather give myself a mental break more likely, so at times even if I happen to find any of those foods around my house I may even not really have them as a treat either LOL

[giggles] share something about you people wouldn’t expect based on your blog! Hmm... probably that I have other totally unrelated blogs? I think there's something else ofc like maybe my look not matching the energy on here, or me being European but IDK. I think the most "shocking" facts for others at times are what we deem as the simpler things

[doll] tell us about your crush! (Or dream person) Uhm honestly these days I'm a bit more focused on myself so IDK... I also feel like I would repeat myself too much talking about the main traits of someone I could fall for :D

[whispers] what do you think about before falling asleep? Depending on how tired I am I may even not be able to think much lol but most of the times these days I think about the day that just ended and if anything happened that needs my attention or I think about what I absolutely should do the next day. I may also think about things I have learned or read or people I have seen/met. I may also just let my mind wander around and see what it comes up with if there's nothing really important.

Thanks for sending, have a lovely day/night!<3

#.#ask game #tw food mention #tw alcohol mention

1 note · View note

sweetandscarlet · 2 years ago

Note

okay but completely unrelated, what if they made a gay version of ‘to all the boys I’ve loved before’ and made it gay and the title would be ‘to all the girls I’ve loved before’ and like it’s a sad romance and like the m/c goes through all their old love letters to girls they used to love in high school. And the m/c is now like 24-25 and they found the letters in the back of their closet deciding there’s not harm,

and decides to send them, but with an extra page clarifying “this is from the high school days, thought it should be sent lol :)” or something and then they’re senior year crush sends a letter to the m/c in response.

The letter goes along the lines of,

“Dear m/c

This is the most heartfelt thing I’ve ever read, and I would love to be in touch. If of course you still feel the same ish way? My number is ## and I’ve seen your instagram, I do hope you’re not in a relationship. (Ton more heartfelt shit)

Best regards (m/c old senior crush)”

BUT PLOT TWIST. the m/c is in a long term relationship with their partner of 3 years. And they have a cat and live in an apartment together. But the m/c texts the old senior crush, “hey I am in a relationship, but I’d love to catch up for coffee as friends?”. Although the watcher can feel the tension from the m/c, and wants them to have the senior year crush cause it’s sweet and old love is always so good. but it’s a sad romance it’ll break your heart in two.

Butttt they catch up and it’s whirl wind of shit. The m/c feels this flurry in their heart as soon as their senior year crush walks in and it’s just like Taylor swift describes, all the m/c sees the world in this different hue and it’s just like back in high school when the senior year crush would make the m/c heart stop.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” AND THEN THEY HIT IT OFF BUT STAY FRIENDS. But the long term partner ends up finding out and accuses of cheating. But m/c says they’re nothing more than friends and that the m/c still loves the long term partner but actually really is losing a little interest.

But they stop calling and texting for a month ish. The m/c sees the world back to the hold colourless hues. And the m/c partner ends up proposing. M/c says yes. And m/c feels that flurry all over again. and the m/c ends up hitting up the senior year crush again and asks if she wants to be a brides maid and help her with wedding stuff. The bond again. M/c feels it again.

But skip all that, and then the senior year crush ends up confessing a week before the wedding it’s heartfelt and sloppy and it was at the m/c apartment doorstep as it rained. Professing her love

“I love you so much it actually hurts and the way Taylor Swift describes love that’s what I feel for you! And I know you’re getting married and I know that if I knew we would have spent our lives together instead of you with her- and I know it’s wrong to barge in and- and say all this only a week before- but I love you and I can’t watch you marry somebody else- someone who won’t know the way you like to move your feet when you dance or what side of the pavement you like to walk on- or your favourite album- or the way you like to be comforted when you cry! I know she knows some of those things but I can’t stand here and watch you not marry me”

But the m/c breaks everyone’s hearts (everyone in the cinema will yell “NOOO!”) and says

“no. You can’t do this. I can’t do this I cannot ruin what I already have- and whose to say you won’t leave me? You weren’t there when I needed you most. You up and left 3 and half weeks before my wedding date! I had to pick out my dress alone! And I was going to ask YOU to walk me down the aisle because I have no parents- but you! You do this to me?!? Why? WHY?! in the middle of the night? Oh my doorstep? Where were you when I had the hard days- when I couldn’t get out of bed- when I was recovering from my eating disorder! You weren’t there! so to tell me you love me now is- is- no. I can’t do it again I’m sorry. Loving you almost broke me- no it did break me and (insert partners name) fixed me. She helped me get up on the bad days and listened to me whine. You weren’t there. And I don’t think we should- be friends [voice breaks] I don’t want to see you ever again.” *closes the door* *leans back against and leans all the way down and sobs*

This is halfway through the movie. I will get back to this when I create my random fantasy of an ending 👍🏼 sorry this is my blurting of my brain, what do u think?

ugh i love this ! there should be a wlw version 🥺

your mind, nonnie-

pls blurt your brainy thoughts into my inbox when you finish the film ! ps; i love the t swizzle reference 🥲

1 note · View note

sadisticyouko · 2 years ago

Note

"dont be afraid to reach out im mostly normal!" number one way to directly not appeal to me JGKZJF /JKJK LMAO but u should know back when i first made my tumblr my url was weirdobsessivenerd and Weirdo was literally what i went by as my name (then i discovered kinning and started going by rouge and now also kurama lol) so like. im Absolutely one to embrace weirdness and encourage it in others, so! dont hold back that unhinged-ness! its precisely what draws me to people HFKHZKG when i say Chill i absolutely mean someone that feels like theyd probably be easy to just relax n be myself around. hang out being Cool Bros. which basically equals being unjudgemental and a bit of a freak (said absolutely positively but i wont use that again if ur uncomfortable with being called that!!)

but ANYWAYZ yeah sending out asks n responding through that feels a lot less...... contained? whatever the hell that means for Conversations but its the vibe lol. exactly like what u were saying. its like im pokin my head out of my lil fox den and yelling out across the field instead of inviting someone inside bgksbfjnzf also yea i totally get the social battery thing thats Super how it is for me too. if were ever chattin n u just drop off out of nowhere and show back up in a couple days continuing the same convo i will not judge bc i Super Relate JFKHSJF

also im not like Super exactly like my kins all the time its more like an internal thing. they may not always reflect me but i still get the feeling of Thats Me. cant always explain it tjjsbf then theres the case of some kins of being exactly how i am irl and some i connect to so hard for one reason or another that i just absorb all of their characteristics into myself bkdjfkd i have a lot of mha kins bc it was my Big Hyperfixation before yyh completely steamrolled over everything in my brain lol, most of them are lower kins tho but my bigger ones are def himiko, la brava, ochako, and shoto!

tbh i kinda wonder how into yyh i woulda been if i discovered it when i was younger, it feels like i may not have been as into it as i am now? which is weird to picture bc rn im Severely hyperfixated on it, i cant imagine having any other sort of relationship to the series jfkdhkf AND HIEI IS SO. FUCKING. ATTRACTIVE. only the second character to break through my asexuality and sex repulsion fjkdjfkd i cant believe he actually makes me so wild over his muscles when ive literally never given any fucks about abs n shit all my life. his hotness is just too powerful fjsjf AND IM ALWAYS ADORING HOW TINY HE IS BUT IN REALITY HES JUST A FEW INCHES SHORTER THAN ME TOO BC IM 5'2" LMAO. but. i always picture his height in comparison to kuramas human and youko forms and it makes me crazy HFKSJKF little man i want to pick him up and kiss him as hes frustrated and flustered about being carried so easily like that and annoyed at himself that he actually likes it 🥰

also if u do like those songs lmk owo!! im always curious to see if others will like a song i recommend hehe. and if u like aggressive music then boy do i have plenty of that bc edgy shit is like my #1 thing i love to listen to HFKSHKF

Omg pretending I’m normal is how I try to fit in ! That’s my inner shuichi trying to blend in with this classmates 😂 I’m a little bit of a weirdo too but I like pretending to be normie passing, I’m like a snail hiding all it’s weirdness under the shell 😂 my first username was tsukisbadgirl so I GET IT 😂😂 I was SUPER into bakugou I mean I still like him but he’s been replaced as my #1 since I got into Tokyo revengers 😂 I will let you know all about my weirdness tendencies but pretend its perfectly normal like 2 seconds later hehe

& yea wild open asks are the best lol IDK WHY but it’s all so true ! I’m glad u won’t judge if I can’t reply right away cuz sometimes I need to disappear and then I feel bad if I try to come back later ! Ohhh the kin thing makes sense too ! Maybe I’m not kinning too many ppl from mha rn cuz I’m hyper fixated on Tokyo revengers now ! I kin like SO MANY PPL from there but I am hopelessly obsessed with it so that might be why 😂 (especially manjiro, he is plaguing my every waking & slumbering moment now 👀)

asbfoajsos Hiei’s MUSCLES keep drawing me back like a little magnet and I am RESISTING 😂😂 why is he built like that ?? I mean I know why but omg WHY DOES IT LOOK SO GOOD ?? i hate it, if Kurama had nearly half the shirtless scenes hiei did I’d be even more unhinged but they didn’t give him the chance !! 😭 SOBBING. I like to be the one that gets manhandled tbh but I feel like even with Hiei’s height he could still get it done 😏 and then im like NO ! INTRUSTIVE THOUGHTS I WANT KURAMA ! and ahdisnsiaosndk 😂 im mostly attracted to ppl based on personality rather than physicality but once im attracted to the person it opens the flood gates and all of a sudden everything about them seems hot 😩

But yes I will let u now about the songs !! It might take me a while like my reading list lol ahdisbskdn BUT I will eventually get to it ! I do things very sporadically and depending on inspiration level so I can’t be held accountable 😂

#sadisticyouko asks #i don’t feel like working today #that’s unrelated but still ! i need coffee lol #sadisticyouko rants #not writing

2 notes · View notes

wayward-dreamer · 3 years ago

Text

Life’s Lessons - The Wedding

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader

Word count: 14,000 (you were warned lol)

Summary: The big day has finally arrived for Dean and Y/N.

Warnings: Nothing but the fluffiest fluff that ever fluffed. Oh, and smut. Because it’s me lol. Swearing, Smut: Dirty talk, Oral sex (Female receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it people).

Music: Thank You by Led Zeppelin/instrumental cover by Vitamin String Quartet (wedding processional scene), Dance Me To The End Of Love by The Civil Wars (Dean and Y/N’s first dance scene).

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: I really hope you all love this!!! As always, happy reading and enjoy! :)

Life’s Lessons Saga Masterlist

Divider by @firefly-graphics.

Y/N blinked rapidly, her eyes adjusting to the light in the room as the late morning sun streamed in through the windows. Turning onto her back, she ran her hands over her face, willing herself to wake up. She turned her head to the side, sighing as she didn’t see her fiancé next to her. He was no doubt also waking up at that point, in his childhood home.

She smiled as she stared up at the ceiling, already anticipating what the rest of the day was going to be like for her and for him. She couldn’t wait to see him later, her heart already longing for him since the previous night after they separated.

Now, after months and months of planning, the big day had finally arrived.

Their wedding day.

Y/N threw the covers back, a kick in her step as she got up and walked into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and freshened up, and then left to go down to the kitchen, smelling the aromas of breakfast wafting up the stairs. She smiled as she walked in, seeing Charlie at the stove, scrambling eggs and frying bacon. The kitchen island had a spread of bagels, cream cheese, toast, jams, peanut butter and a box of Coco Puffs. As Charlie cooked, she looked up and smiled when she saw her come in.

“Morning, bride!” Her cheery exclaim made Y/N laugh as she walked over, hugging her.

Charlie, Meg, Jill and Y/N’s nieces had spent the night at the house, where they’d all be getting everything prepped before they went over to the venue. They were getting ready in the big ranch house, one room dedicated to them as another was for Dean and the groomsmen.

“Morning. This all looks amazing,” Y/N sighed, as her eyes glided over all the food.

“Figured you better eat a big breakfast because who knows when we’re going to eat next,” Charlie said, plating the eggs and bacon from the pans.

“This is true,” Y/N agreed as she sat on one of the stools at the island.

Meg and Jill came down, dressed in casual t-shirts and jeans, Mia in Jill’s arms as Evie took the stairs down carefully in front of her.

“Aunty Y/N!” she yelled as ran over, trying desperately to hop into Y/N’s lap. She reached down and pulled her up, a fake sluggish groan leaving her.

“You’re growing too fast, kiddo,” Y/N joked, kissing the top of Evie’s head.

Jill sat next to her and put Mia on her lap, putting some peanut butter on toast for her. Mia frowned; her eyes suddenly glowing as she looked at the box of Coco Puffs.

“Puffs,” she said, pointing to the box.

“Mia,” Jill warned, giving her a stern look. “You can’t eat only Coco Puffs for breakfast.”

“Can I have some mommy?” Evie asked, voice as sweet as honey, thinking she could wrap her mom around her finger.

Jill, unrelenting in her discipline, looked between her daughters. “No.”

They both pouted, and Jill feared they were both about to throw tantrums, but luckily, they were in the clear as they both sulked.

“Hey,” Y/N whispered in Evie’s ear. She reached into her own plate and took a small piece of bacon, offering it to the little girl. “Want some?”

Evie nodded enthusiastically, biting into the piece. She chewed it and smiled.

“Good, huh?” Y/N asked, smiling.

Evie kept nodding, smiling up at her aunt. “Do you like bacon, aunty Y/N?”

“I do, but you know who loves it even more?” Y/N said, lifting an eyebrow.

“Who?” Evie looked at her with big, curious eyes as she waited for an answer.

“Uncle Dean,” Y/N stated, smiling.

The little girl’s smile widened as she took a little more of the bacon, as everyone continued to eat around the island.

Y/N smiled as she continued eating, wondering what her beloved fiancé and soon to be husband was doing at that moment.

Dean lifted the coffee mug to his lips, taking a slow sip of the dark liquid. He breathed in, letting out a peaceful exhale as he sat down on the steps of the back porch at his childhood home. He smiled as he looked around the yard, remembering all the great times he and his family had there.

He let out a small huff as a smirk grew on his face, still not quite believing what day was upon him. He was getting married today. Him. If someone had told him years ago that he was going to meet the most incredible woman and get married, he would’ve laughed in their face. He was with someone else and marriage wasn’t on the cards. Then Y/N came and changed everything he thought to be true, showing him what was real. She was real.

Hearing footsteps behind him, he glanced up and smiled as his mom sat down next to him, a coffee mug of her own in hand.

“Doing okay?” she asked, smiling softly.

“So far, yeah,” he replied, with a small nod.

“Good,” she sighed, lifting her hand and rubbing his shoulder. “I know I don’t have to worry about this, but make sure you eat properly today, okay?”

“Yeah.” He smiled at her and turned his head to look back at the garden. “Mom?”

Mary took a sip of her coffee before she turned to him. “Yeah, sweetie?”

“Did you… did you ever think I’d get here?” he asked, a nervous smile tugging at his lips.

She smiled, knowing that was probably what his thought process had been all morning.

“Yeah, I did. I really did,” she replied, softly. “I knew it would take time… but I knew that when she got here, whoever she was, was going to knock you out.”

He laughed, nodding. “She really did.”

“I’m so glad you found her,” Mary said, quietly.

“I love her so damn much,” he whispered, his eyes closing as small doubts started to filter in. “I can’t screw this up.”

Mary shook her head, squeezing his shoulder to let him know she was there. “You won’t.”

Leaning over, she wrapped her arm around him and hugged him, tightly. He sighed, willing the doubts to leave his mind. He didn’t need them today.

“Thanks, mom,” he said, as they pulled away from each other.

“You’re welcome.” She moved in and kissed his cheek, quickly standing up from the steps. “Alright, we better eat and get this day rolling!”

He chuckled as he stood, wrapping his arm around her as they walked into the house.

He was more than ready to get on with the day and finally see Y/N.

Y/N’s fingers glided over the fabric; her smile radiant as she admired the wedding dress hanging up on the door in front of her. Pulling her silk robe tighter around her body, she stepped back to look at the full silhouette, a giddiness settling deep within her belly. She couldn’t believe that in just a couple short hours she was going to be marrying Dean, in front of all their friends and family.

She was so nervous she felt like she could throw up. She wasn’t having cold feet by any means, but her nerves came from the fact that something could go wrong, and she wouldn’t be able to stop it from happening. What if Dean changed his mind? She knew he loved her unconditionally and there was no rational thought behind what she was thinking, but she couldn’t help that her mind was an endless fount of doubt in that moment.

However, as she looked around the room she was about to get ready in, seeing her bridesmaids fixing some last-minute things, her mom looking after her nieces and all of the hair and make-up spread out on a table, the worries gave way to hope. Hope that everything was going to be fine.

“Y/N, we’re ready for you,” one of the make-up artists said, smiling at her.

Smiling back, she sat down in her chair in front of the mirror, letting out a deep breath as she looked at her reflection. She glanced to the side, seeing Charlie come up behind her as the woman doing her make-up started.

“How are you? Can I get you anything?” Charlie asked, taking Y/N’s hand in hers.

She shook her head, squeezing Charlie’s hand. “No, I’m good for now.”

“Okay,” Charlie said, kissing Y/N’s head.

Y/N smiled as she retreated, helping Jill tie the ribbons around the bridesmaids’ bouquets. Her eyes caught Meg coming into the room, shaking her head as she carried her dress bag and shoes, dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt. She had gone back to her apartment because like an idiot she had forgotten her heels and had come to the venue with Cas.

“Hey, I’m so sorry I’m late! Cas drives so fu-” she started, rushing over to Y/N and kissed her cheek, biting her lip as she was about to swear. She glanced back at Evie and Mia in the room, sighing in relief that they were preoccupied with their grandmother. “So freaking slow.”

Y/N laughed, waving her off. “You’re fine, we’ve still got plenty of time.”

“Okay, good,” Meg sighed, walking into the little bathroom attached to the room. A few minutes later, she emerged in her light pink silk robe, the same as Jill, Eileen and Charlie’s.

The make-up artist dabbed foundation on Y/N’s face, as Meg walked over and handed her a glass of water.

“I saw the guys getting ready, too,” Meg said, sitting down in the chair next to Y/N, as the other hair and make-up artist started on her make-up too. “Dean said to tell you not to worry so much and have fun.”

Y/N couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she thought about her soon to be husband being worried about the fact that she must be unnecessarily nervous.

“Is he okay?” she asked, closing her eyes as the woman started on her eye make-up.

“He is,” Meg replied, sipping her own water. “More than okay, just can’t wait to see you. He’s not gonna know what hit him when he sees you in the dress.”

As they completed Y/N’s look, her hair in an intricate bun and a few locks framing her face, she stood up and faced her bridesmaids, smiling as they all hugged and stood in a circle. Jill picked up the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket on the table, popping it open. She poured some into six glasses, their mom getting up from the armchair and joining them. They each took a glass and faced Y/N, who smiled brightly as Jill wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“A toast to my baby sister on her wedding day… I’m keeping this short and saving most of it for my matron of honor speech, but I love you so much and I’m so happy for you, that you found the perfect person to share your life with,” Jill said, kissing her forehead.

“I love you,” Y/N said, hugging Jill tight.

“To Y/N!” they all said, clinking their glasses together. They all sipped the sparkling liquid, sitting back down to relax a little before they had to put their dresses on.

Y/N sighed as she sat down, humming as she felt her mom rubbing soothing circles on her back. “Just relax,” Meredith said, smiling.

“Thanks, mom,” Y/N whispered, looking up at her mother.

“Are you alright?” Meredith asked, softly.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” Y/N replied, nodding. “I just can’t believe I’m finally here.” A smile tugged at her lips, butterflies erupting in her stomach as flashes of her life so far with Dean came to her.

“I still can’t ever forget you gushing about him when we went for drinks after work, only a few weeks into being in Lawrence,” Charlie chimed in, beaming as she took sips of her champagne.

“God, that somehow feels like it was forever ago and like it was yesterday at the same time,” Y/N stated, thinking back on that night. The one that solidified that there was something more between her and Dean than just friendship.

Evie came up to Y/N and climbed into her lap, wanting to sit with her aunt. She kissed the little girl’s head and stroked her soft hair, looking adorable in her little flower girl dress.

“Okay, what’s your favorite thing about Dean?” Meg asked, smirking.

Y/N glared at her playfully, shaking her head as she knew what her friend was thinking. She only thought about it for a second, knowing without a doubt what her favorite thing about Dean was.

“His heart,” she replied, simply. “His heart is so big, sometimes I think he doesn’t know what to do with all that love he’s got in there. He just cares about everyone close to him so much, and he’s always willing to help someone out. And… the way he cares about me, no one’s ever made me feel the way he does.”

“Oh my god, Y/N,” Charlie sighed, already getting teary. “I’m just so glad he has someone like you. I can’t even imagine where he’d be if you never came into his life.”

“Life definitely changed for the better, that’s for sure,” Y/N said, smiling.

“For all of us,” Meg added, clinking her glass with Charlie and Eileen’s.

“I’ll drink to that,” Eileen signed, winking at Y/N.

“Our oldest friend is marrying our best friend.” Charlie got up and walked over to Y/N, hugging her.

“Mommy, I’m hungry,” little Evie’s voice interrupted, as she looked at Jill from Y/N’s lap.

“Mom, can you take them to get something to eat?” Jill asked Meredith, as she was still in her robe.

“Of course,” Meredith replied, taking Evie’s hand as she hopped off Y/N. She picked up Mia who had been playing with her dolls and led them to the door.

“Meredith,” Eileen called out, getting the older woman’s attention. “Mary’s got Elliot with her in the dining hall, so you can join them there.”

“Perfect, thanks Eileen,” Meredith said, smiling at her before she took the girls out of the room.

Y/N stood up from the chair and walked across the room, looking out the window with her champagne glass in hand. The girls looked at her knowingly, giving her a little space before they had to start getting into the dresses. Taking out the folded paper from her bra, she opened it, her eyes scanning over the words she had written as vows to Dean. She smiled as she thought about how she would get to say them soon, about how he would say his and they would be united.

She couldn’t wait to see him and finally be his forever.

Dean’s hands shook as his fingers nimbly buttoned up his crisp white shirt. Letting out a large exhale, he closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down. His mind started becoming more and more clouded with worries as the time got closer to the ceremony, his self-deprecating thoughts circling around and causing him to doubt everything. He had told Meg when she left to join Y/N and the other bridesmaids to tell his soon-to-be wife not to worry about anything, and yet here he was, doing the exact same thing.

His groomsmen, Benny, Cas, Brian (who he had gotten to know really well and wanted him to be part of the ceremony to make things special for Y/N), and Sam who was his best man, were all dressed in their suits, laughing and chatting in the main room. He had told them to give him a minute, needing some time to himself as he got dressed. It was less than an hour now until he and Y/N finally became husband and wife. That thought made his heart soar but also made his stomach flip with nerves. What if he said or did something and he ruined everything? What if he got up to the altar and she didn’t walk down the aisle?

A knock on the door of the bathroom broke him from his negative thoughts. He tucked his shirt into his pants neatly, and gave a quick “yeah” as a signal for the person to come in.

“You decent?” he heard Sam ask, as the door opened slightly.

“Yeah,” he replied, gruffly as he fixed his shirt in the mirror.

Sam opened the door and came in, immediately sensing something was wrong with the expression on Dean’s face.

“You alright?” he asked, softly, not wanting anyone in the other room to hear them.

Dean scoffed, shaking his head. “Not really.”

“What’s going on?” Sam went into protective mode, ready to be there for Dean for whatever he wanted to say or needed at that moment.

“Nothing major, Sammy,” Dean sighed, shutting his eyes tightly. “Just can't get past the thoughts in my head.”

“Hey, look at me,” Sam said, turning Dean towards him and looking directly at him as he put his hands on shoulders. “Everything’s going to be fine. Whatever you’re thinking right now, none of it is going to happen. You’re going to be out there soon, and you’re going to marry Y/N and everything is going to work out the way it’s meant to.”

“Less than an hour,” Dean whispered. Shaking his head, he let out a small, bitter chuckle. “Still time for her to run.”

“She’s not going to run,” Sam told him, a confident smile on his face as he shook his head. “Just think about everything you’ve been through together and remember how much you love her. How much she loves you. Remember that and everything will be fine.”

Dean breathed in deep, and as he let it out, a smile came to his face knowing that Sam was right. He was letting those negative thoughts win again, and he was done letting them control him. It was his wedding day, a day he never thought he’d get to see, but couldn’t have been more excited to finally have. He couldn’t wait to see Y/N in her dress and to finally be hers forever.

“You’re right,” he said, nodding at his little brother. “Thanks, Sammy.”

“No problem,” Sam said, smiling. “So… shall we?” He gestured towards the other room, knowing time was ticking away and they needed to start moving.

“Yeah.” Dean gave him a confident nod, a wide grin gracing his face as he pushed away the self-deprecation and concentrated on Y/N and what was going to happen soon.

They walked into the other room that was occupied by his side of the wedding party, seeing them sitting around, empty tumbler glasses waiting on the table with a bottle of his favorite whiskey.

“There he is, man of the hour,” Benny said, his cheery Southern accent filling the room. He got up and picked up the bottle, cracking it open. Pouring a couple of fingers into each glass, he handed them over to each of the groomsmen and Dean.

“I’m going to save most of what I want to say in my speech later, but…” Sam started as he turned to his older brother. “I’m so happy for you, man, that you found the woman you’ve been waiting for.”

“To Dean!” They all cheered and clinked their tumblers together, drinking the amber liquid.

“Thanks, Sammy,” Dean said, tapping his little brother on the shoulder.

The door to the room opened, and Dean looked to his right, seeing his father and Y/N’s walk in. He gulped nervously as David walked over to him, a small smile on his face.

“How are you, sir?” Dean asked, offering his hand to shake.

“Good, but I think I should be asking you that,” David replied, shaking his hand with a small laugh.

“Better now.” Dean didn’t add anything else, not wanting to draw attention to the fact that he was having doubts just a few minutes before. Taking a sip of his whiskey, Dean looked up at David, a small, nervous smile on his face.

“Sir, I… I wanted to thank you. For trusting me with Y/N. I promise you that I’ll always take care of her,” he told David, his voice firm with conviction.

David smiled, nodding. “I’m glad to hear it.”

He walked forward, putting his arms around Dean into a hug, one that solidified the bond between their families. Pulling away, they smiled at each other before David stepped back, leaving Dean to finish getting ready.

“Hey,” Sam got his attention as he walked over. “I’m just going to quickly check in on Elliot and then see Eileen. Are you going to be okay?”

“Don’t worry about me, Sammy,” Dean stated, smirking. “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded and retreated back, walking across the room and shutting the door behind him.

Dean looked at himself in the mirror by the window, trying to tie his bowtie properly. He gave it a few tries, growling in frustration as he couldn’t get it right, his hands started to shake again.

“Here, let me,” he heard his dad say, as he walked over and turned Dean towards him.

“Thanks, dad,” Dean sighed, lifting his head so John could see properly.

“No problem.” John smiled as he started tying the bowtie for Dean. “I remember doing this for you for prom.”

Dean huffed a small laugh, lifting an eyebrow. “Bet you never thought you’d be doing it for my wedding.”

John smiled, knowingly. “I did think I’d be doing it. I always knew you’d get here.”

He fixed the bowtie and then folded the collar back down. “All done.”

He picked up Dean’s suit jacket and held it up, pulling it up onto his shoulders once he put his arms through. Dean fixed it to fit properly on his shoulders, frowning a little as it felt weird to be wearing a suit.

“It’s just for a few hours,” John said, knowing what his son was thinking by the expression on his face.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, as he pinned the small flowers to the lapel of his suit.

“Dean,” John said, getting his son’s attention. Taking out a small box from his pants pocket, he handed it over to his son, a proud smile on his face. “I have something for you.”

With a confused look on his face, Dean took the box from his dad. Opening it, his eyes widened as he saw a pair of old, silver cufflinks sitting in there, immediately recognizing them.

“Grandpa’s,” he whispered, breathing heavily as a wave of emotion came over him.

“He’d want you to have them,” John said, smiling as he took them from Dean, taking them out and putting the box back in his pocket. He lifted Dean’s left hand and attached them to the end of the sleeve, repeating the action on the other.

“Thanks, dad,” Dean said, smiling.

John shook his head, pulling Dean into a tight hug. “You don’t have to ever thank me, Dean. I’m so proud of you.”

The younger Winchester’s eyes closed, his smile growing as he hugged his father. All his life, he had looked up to his dad, wanting to be just like him. While things had happened in the past and he saw a different side to him, Dean knew his dad worked hard to give them a life they deserved, one filled with joy and laughter, all while overcoming obstacles along the way and becoming a stronger unit because of it. He knew that despite some troubles, he saw a good and loving marriage between his parents, and one he hoped he would have with Y/N.

Y/N stepped into her dress, standing up straight as Charlie and Jill pulled it up and slipped the straps over her arms. The sheer low cut back came down to a zip and button closure, which Jill did for her, smiling over her shoulder. Y/N fixed the front, making sure the low front was secure over her breasts, smoothing her hands down the front of the dress. She caught Mary’s eyes through the mirror as she stood behind her with Elliot, smiling at her through teary eyes. Meredith came over, the veil carefully cradled in her arms as she stood behind Y/N. She watched as her mom clipped the veil into her hair just above her bun, fluffing it to fall delicately over the silhouette of her dress. Her mom had a few tears fall down her face, and Y/N was trying desperately not to cry in that moment.

“You look so beautiful,” Meredith choked out, looking at her younger daughter.

“Thanks, mom,” Y/N said, her voice shaking.

“Okay, no crying yet, we can’t ruin our make-up,” Charlie added, wiping lightly under her eyes, avoiding her make-up.

Everyone laughed and tried to take breaths, making sure they didn’t have to re-do any of their make-up. Y/N smiled as she clipped on her grandmother’s silver bracelet to her wrist, and put on the diamond drop earrings, completing the look. She spied little Evie coming up next to her, looking at her with big, round eyes full of wonder.

“Aunty Y/N, you look like a princess,” she said, smiling up at her aunt.

Y/N laughed a little as she bent down slightly, kissing her head. “Thank you, honey. You look so beautiful.”

Evie blushed as she giggled, which melted Y/N’s heart even more. She and Mia had matching off-white flower girl dresses with pastel pink sashes around the waist tied into bows at the back, both complete with matching headbands and shoes. As Y/N adjusted the front of her dress, a knock at the door alerted everyone.

Eileen opened the door, smiling as Sam walked in and kissed her, quickly. “Everything okay with Elliot?”

“Yeah, he’s great,” she replied, looking up at him as she bounced their son lightly in her arms. A smile spread across her face as she nodded towards Y/N. “Turn around.”

Sam turned, suddenly in awe as he looked at his soon-to-be sister-in-law. “Y/N. Oh my god.”

Y/N laughed, twirling the dress slightly. “Think Dean will like it?”

“Like? He’s going to lose his mind,” Sam replied, shaking his head as he beamed at her.

“How is he?” she asked, a longing in the tone of her voice. She couldn’t wait to see him.

“He’s good,” Sam replied, a little too quickly. She knew something was wrong.

“He’s freaking out.” It wasn’t a question considering she knew how Dean’s mind worked.

“He was, but I talked him down. He’s good now, I swear,” Sam promised, firmly.

She nodded but she knew she needed to do something, somehow, to convince him that things were okay and to not freak out.

“Mom, can you hand me that note pad and a pen,” Y/N said, gesturing to the items she wanted on the table in the far corner.

Meredith brought them over, and Y/N immediately scribbled something on it, quickly. Tearing the page off, she folded it and handed it over to Sam.

“Give him that when you get to the altar, okay?” she asked, smiling.

“Sure thing,” he replied, holding it securely in his hand. “We’re going to head out there.”

“See you soon.” She couldn’t keep the smile off her face, more than ready to go out there and marry the man of her dreams.

“See you soon,” he repeated, winking at her.

He turned his mom and offered his arm to her, Mary taking it immediately with her own wink at Y/N. He took Elliot from Eileen and carried him in his other, all of them leaving the room and shutting the door, lightly.

Y/N smiled as she turned back to the mirror, taking in her full appearance. It was almost time and she couldn’t be happier.

John, Mary, Sam and Dean sat under the trees, in the front row of chairs all lined up and starting to be filled as the guests arrived. Elliot sat in Mary’s lap, looking around curiously at everything. They all looked out past the arch covered in flowers for Dean and Y/N to stand under, past the trees and saw the lake, the sun shining off the surface of the water on the most beautiful and perfect day they could’ve hoped for the wedding. As he sat with his family, Dean couldn’t help but think about all the memories the Winchesters had made there.

He stood up from the chair, watching as people arrived. He saw Jody and the girls arrive, smiling brightly at them. She blew him a kiss and he laughed, blowing one back. After them, he spotted Donna, her blonde locks blowing slightly in the breeze. She saw him, circled her finger in the air to gesture to the suit, and mouthed a “nice!”. He smirked as he winked at her, causing her to laugh before she sat down next to Jody. He looked next to him, seeing Sam looking down at his watch.

“Five minutes,” he said, looking up at Dean.

Dean let out a breath, nodding. “Guess we better stand.”

“Don’t worry, honey. Everything’s going to be great,” Mary said, quickly standing up and kissing his cheek. She held Elliot in her arms, making sure he was sitting in her lap properly as she took her seat again.

Dean stood up under the arch with the female officiant who was already there, Sam standing next to Dean as the groomsmen stood off to the side near the trees, waiting for the bridesmaids. Remembering what Y/N had given him, Sam reached into his pocket and took out the note, nudging Dean.

“I saw Y/N earlier, asked me to give you this,” he whispered, handing over the paper.

Taking it, Dean opened the paper. He had calmed down considerably since Sam spoke to him in the dressing room, but when he read the words on the paper in Y/N’s pretty handwriting, he felt the weight completely lift off his chest.

Don’t be scared.

I love you.

He felt tears prick his eyes, but he cleared his throat and folded the paper into his pants pocket, blinking rapidly to stop them from flowing. Seeing those words was exactly what he needed at that moment.

He was more ready than he ever was to get the show on the road.

Y/N, Jill, David and Meredith walked up the gravel path, the girls behind them as they held Y/N’s dress up off the ground as she walked. She was doing considerably well in her sparkly, pointed-toe heels, but she knew by the time the reception rolled around she would be taking them off. She didn’t care, however, as she was just more than ready to see her man.

“I haven’t told you yet, but-” David whispered, leaning into her. “You look so beautiful, honey.”

“Thanks, dad,” she whispered back, kissing his cheek.

They made it to the end of the path, hidden behind the trees so that no one would see them.

Meredith turned to Y/N, cupping her face in her hands, her eyes blurry with tears. “I love you, so much.”

“I love you, too, mom,” Y/N choked out, blinking to keep her tears at bay.

They kissed each other’s cheeks and hugged, Meredith quickly walking down to the clearing, down the aisle and taking her seat in the front row on Y/N’s side. She looked at Dean and smiled, getting a smile back from him as he waited.

Y/N watched as Cas, Benny and Brian walked over to them, as they stood next to their respective bridesmaid. Cas took Charlie’s arm, Benny took Meg’s and Brian took Eileen’s as they lined up in front of Jill, Evie and Mia. Each of the bridesmaids stood with their bouquet of Oriental Lilies, while her nieces had their little baskets filled with light pink rose petals, the only roses Y/N had for the wedding. She stood behind them, as David took his place on her right.

“Ready?” he asked, looking at her.

“So ready,” she replied, smiling wide. She laughed a little, shaking her head. “Just please, don’t let me fall.”

“Never,” he whispered, kissing her temple. Offering his arm, Y/N wrapped her right one around, holding her bouquet of Calla Lilies tight in her left hand.

Before she knew it, the music started from the speaker off to the side of the altar, and it was show time. Taking a deep breath in, she released it as she watched the bridal party walk out, ready for her turn down the aisle.

The soft violin started from the hidden speaker, the tune immediately recognizable to Dean as Thank You by Led Zeppelin, but instrumental.

He felt all his emotions beginning to rise to the surface, but he tried to keep himself calm as he watched the bridal party come down the aisle. Cas and Charlie were first, both sharing a smile with him. Cas took his place next to Sam, as Charlie couldn’t resist coming up and quickly hugging Dean, kissing his cheek. Benny and Meg walked in behind them, and he fist bumped his other best friend and work partner before he took his place next to Cas. Brian and Eileen followed and stood at their respective sides, waiting for the rest of the party.

Dean watched as Jill walked down, winking at him as she walked over to the left side, standing in front of Charlie. All the guests admired and ‘awed’ at Evie and Mia, as they dropped the petals from their little baskets onto the covered ground. They went and sat down with Meredith, after having done their duty as flower girls.

The music began to soar as Y/N held onto her father’s arm tightly, walking slowly with him towards the aisle. She looked at her father, giving him a little nod to let him know she was ready. She felt tears collect in her eyes as she started walking, seeing everyone standing and smiling at her. Everyone who was special to them was there, and she was so grateful.

Just as the tempo changed, Dean felt a catch in his throat as he finally saw Y/N, on the arm of her father. He didn’t think he could be as speechless as he was at that moment. Time completely stood still, as all he could see was her. He had seen Y/N dressed up several times, on so many occasions that were special to them, where she had looked absolutely beautiful. However, the vision of her gliding towards him like an angel, with the most radiant smile on her face, was an image that would stay with him until the day he took his last breath. He was overwhelmed, willing himself to keep composure, but he knew he was failing as a tear slipped down her face.

Y/N smiled, feeling the tears threatening to fall down her face as she saw Dean looking at her. At that moment, she saw no one else. He looked so incredibly handsome in his suit, but his face, with a smile of his own and his eyes glassy, was the most beautiful sight she could have seen. As she got closer, she saw a tear roll down his right cheek, and she felt one of her own escape, as overcome by this moment as he was.

Y/N stopped at the end of the aisle, as Dean stepped towards her. They looked into each other’s eyes, both of them smiling as their vision blurred behind unshed tears. She turned to her dad and kissed his cheek, his own smile speaking volumes as he took her hand and placed it in Dean’s, giving him a small nod that held the weight of the moment. They continued to look at each other as David sat down with Meredith, who was already a mess of emotions.

Dean and Y/N stepped closer to the officiant, turning to face each other as they held hands. He shook his head, his eyes gliding up her dress and looking into hers, a small smile on his face as he tried to let her know with a look how beautiful she was, as words were something he couldn’t manage in that moment. He had to save his voice for his vows, which were going to be even more nerve-wracking now. The music turned off and the officiant, Cindy, looked between them, ready to start the ceremony. The interpreter stood off to the side, closer to Eileen so that she could see properly. Cindy was a short woman with greying hair, thick black glasses and the sunniest personality they both had ever seen, smiling as she began the ceremony.

“Dearly beloved, we gathered here today to witness and celebrate the marriage of Y/N Y/L/N and Dean Winchester.”

Dean breathed deeply, his eyes never leaving Y/N’s as did the same. Cindy went on to see a few things she learnt about them as a couple as she got to know them before this day, both of them beaming at each other as she spoke.

“So, let’s get these two married, shall we?” she asked, laughing.

Everyone joined in, with cheers and claps all around, including the bridal party behind Dean and Y/N.

“Dean and Y/N have each prepared their own vows which they’ll share now, before I ask them a couple of questions. Y/N, why don’t you go first,” Cindy said, looking at her.

Y/N nodded, turning slightly and taking the piece of paper that Jill handed to her. She opened it and looked at Dean, smiling at him as he looked at her intently. She looked down at her words, tears threatening to fall.

“Dean.” She glanced at him again quickly, before concentrating on her words, not wanting to mess up. “For a long time, I wondered if I’d ever find someone who I could truly be myself with. Someone who would protect me and never hurt me, someone who would never let me fall. Someone who would challenge me. Someone who would love me unconditionally, without any selfish gain. For a moment, it felt as if I’d never find it. That I’d never get out of that dark place that I was in. Then, life prompted me to make the greatest decision of my life; to move to Lawrence, Kansas of all places. It may have seemed like a strange choice, but it was ultimately the right one, because that choice led me to finding you.”

She looked up at him, a tear now rolling down her face as she smiled through them. He was barely hanging on, and it warmed her heart to see all the love in his eyes.

“Dean, You got me out of that dark place. You’re my light, and I promise to always be yours too. I promise to always be your rock, to tell you just how much I respect you and appreciate you, to be your protector through any obstacle that comes our way, and to never doubt you or let you doubt yourself. I promise to love you forever, Dean Winchester.” As she finished, she looked up to see Dean subtly bend his head and wipe a tear away, turning back to her with a smile.

Cindy gave Y/N a wink before turning to Dean, a small nod letting him know it was his turn. He turned to Sam, who gave him his vows with a small smile, tapping his upper arm before Dean turned back to Y/N. He opened the folded paper, taking a deep breath as he hoped that his words would get his point across.

“It’s a good thing we gotta write these down, because I’m not good with words,” he said, looking up from the paper before he read it. “Even what I wrote might not be great, so-”

He stopped rambling as he felt Y/N’s hand slip into the one that wasn’t holding the paper, grasping it tightly. He looked at her and saw her smiling, her eyes holding all the promises she had just made. He smirked at her, knowing he could do this.

“I never thought of myself as the “get married” type of guy,” he started, looking intently at his vows. “Not for any other reason than I didn’t think it was on the cards for me. Then… right when I thought life was dealing me the short straw… I found you.” He looked up at Y/N, beaming at her as she did the same, her eyes watery.

“Y/N, you came into my life when I needed you most. You helped me understand what it meant to be supported, appreciated and respected. What it meant to be loved. You helped me get out of the cage I was in, and you helped me realize that I deserve better than what I had. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier that that “better” was you. You… you saved me,” he said, his voice hitching as he looked up at her, his eyes shining. He cleared his throat from the emotions he was feeling, looking down at his paper again. “Y/N, I promise you… I’ll always be there to tell you how much you mean to me, how much I appreciate you and respect you. I’ll always support you the way you have with me, and I’ll be your shield any time you feel that dark cloud coming in. I’ll never let anyone, or anything hurt you. I’m going to love you for the rest of this life and into the next, sweetheart.”

“Dean,” she gasped, shaking her head in wonder of her soon-to-be husband.

“Was that okay?” he asked, softly, nerves reflected on his features as he looked at her.

“It was beautiful,” she whispered.

“That was amazing, wasn’t it?” Cindy asked, receiving several cheers from the guests.

Dean and Y/N looked at their families, seeing both their mothers incredibly overwhelmed as they wiped away their tears.

“Alright, let’s do this,” Cindy said, smiling. “Can we have the rings?”

Jill and Sam both handed the rings to Y/N and Dean respectively, both of them smiling as Dean took her left hand. They couldn’t believe how close they were to being married.

“Dean,” Cindy started, turning to him. “Do you take Y/N Y/L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, loving and honoring her all the days of your life, until death parts you?”

Dean smiled as images of Y/N when they first met on that fateful day and every incredible moment between them since then, flashed before his eyes. “I do,” he said, with more confidence than he had ever had in his life.

He slid the platinum wedding band onto her ring finger, sitting on top of her engagement ring. Y/N looked at him, her eyes never wanting to leave his as Cindy turned to her. She asked the same question of Y/N, who refused to look anywhere else than at the love of her life standing in front of her.

“I do,” Y/N stated, never breaking eye contact with the wonderful man looking back at her, as flashes of their life so far crossed her mind. She looked down briefly, sliding the matching platinum band onto his finger.

The anticipation crept up within them, more than ready to be declared husband and wife.

“Well, I guess it’s time then, isn’t it?” Cindy laughed, looking between both of them. “By the power invested by the state of Kansas, in front of your dear family and friends, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Dean,” Cindy declared, raising an eyebrow as she smiled at Dean.

Leaning forward, Dean’s arms wrapped around Y/N’s waist as he pulled her as close as he could. Her arms wrapped around his neck, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss. It was as if time stood still, as if every kiss until this one was only a teaser, their souls now connected forever. Everyone stood up and clapped, cheered and called out their congratulations, but the couple only heard them briefly. After a moment, he pulled away and gave her the most beautiful smile she had ever seen on his face. They gave each other a few more short kisses, before they turned and smiled at everyone.

“Family and friends, I am delighted to present for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Dean Winchester!” Cindy yelled, clapping excitedly.

Dean took Y/N’s hand, both of them making their way down the aisle, waving at their families and promising to see them soon. They walked off behind the trees, a moment alone before the photographs started. Dean cupped her face, pulling her into another passionate kiss.

“I love you so much,” he whispered between kisses.

“I love you, too,” she whispered back, desperate to keep kissing him.

“You’re my wife,” he said, laughing happily as he bit his lip.

“You’re my husband,” she sighed, kissing him again.

Their lips locked in a passionate exchange, not wanting to let go of each other. They stayed in each other’s embrace for a few moments, eventually pulling away from each other, knowing they needed to get to the next part of the day.

“Shall we?” he asked, looking deep into her eyes.

“Absolutely,” she replied, kissing him once more.

He offered her his arm, ready to take her to the photographer and start the rest of their special day. Y/N smiled and hooked her arm around Dean’s, strolling down the path with him as they held each other close.

The photographs took a bit of time, getting everyone coordinated and organized. They took family photos, with the bridal party, in every combination they could manage, before their photographer took pictures of just Y/N and Dean. He took them at more natural points, and based on that, they were excited to see what they would look like.

Once they were finished, they walked down the path and over to the reception, small chandeliers hanging from the top of the tent, and beautiful flower arrangements at the tables. Everyone turned to look at them and cheered as they came in, Dean taking Y/N’s hand and twirling her around the empty space that would be used as a dance floor. They had decided to get their first dance in, not wanting to pause the reception later and be the centre of attention even more than they already were.

Dean smiled at Y/N as he held her hand, pulling her in close as his other one rested on her hip. They looked into each other’s eyes, the song they had chosen floating in through the speakers. Y/N had told him about it, and after listening to it, he was on board straight away. It may not have been classic rock, but it was a classic in its own right and the cover that they had chosen of it suited the feel of their wedding.

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin

Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in

Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove

And dance me to the end of love

Please dance me to the end of love

“You look so beautiful,” he stated, smiling down at her. “I couldn’t get that out when I saw you.”

“Well, now I can tell you how handsome you look, too,” she said, softly.

There may have been people around them watching as they danced, but their eyes were only on each other as they moved to the music. He leaned his forehead against hers, both of them wearing identical smiles as they swayed slowly. Tilting his head slightly, he kissed her nose softly, bringing her in closer.

“I can’t wait to spend forever with you,” she whispered, looking into his eyes.

“I can’t wait either, sweetheart,” he whispered back, leaning in and kissing her, passionately.

They pulled away after a moment, her head leaning against his shoulder as he rested his cheek against her head, both content as they closed their eyes.

Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone

Oh let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon

Oh show me slowly what I only know the limits of

And dance me to the end of love

Please dance me to the end of love

Suddenly, he took her hand and spun her, a squeal leaving her as she started laughing. Pulling her in, he laughed as they held each other close.

Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on

And dance me very tenderly and dance me very long

We're both of us beneath our love, and both of us above

And dance me to the end of love

Won't you dance me to the end of love

The guests cheered and clapped as the song ended, Dean and Y/N smiling at everyone as they made their way to their table, as everyone found their respective ones as well. The food had started being served, and the couple had never been more thankful, having been dying to eat all day. The little snacks throughout the day had only served to make them hungrier. The food was incredible, and the drinks were amazing. As the sun had set, the fairy lights all around the tent shined as did the chandeliers, bathing the area in a soft glow. As waiters took away plates and glasses, others came around with glasses of champagne, ready for the speeches. Dean had his arm around Y/N as it rested on her chair, both of them smiling as they saw her father stand up.

“Evening everyone, I’m David. Y/N’s father,” he started, looking around the tent at the guests. “Well, I hope you know who I am, otherwise well done for sneaking into an expensive meal unnoticed.”

There were laughs around the area, as Y/N’s jaw dropped. She and her mother looked at each other, shaking their heads as Jill giggled, sitting on the other side of Y/N. Dean chuckled lightly, nodding as he sipped his water.

“I just want to welcome you all and thank you for being here for this incredible occasion, of my daughter’s wedding. Meredith and I want to thank John and Mary as well, for being so welcoming of us and our side from New York. I know that Y/N’s talked about how wonderful you both are, and we’ve definitely seen it, so thank you,” he continued, gesturing to Dean’s parents who sat next to David and Meredith.

“Y/N, Dean… congratulations to you both. Y/N, honey, your mother and I are so proud of you and the woman you’ve become. God knows you’ve been through a lot, but you came out of it more courageous, stronger, and more determined to keep fighting. Dean, the day we met you we got to see just how much you care for our daughter. We knew without a doubt that she was going to be safe and provided for. So… I know that as much as it kills me to let my daughter go… She’s going to be happy and well looked after. As long as you remember the cardinal rule of marriage: one person is always right, and the other person is you,” he said, making everyone laugh again.

“So, I know we’ve all been emotional today, I mean even the cake is in tiers,” David said, causing some cringing from his wife and daughters. Dean pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh as his wife shook her head at her dad.

“But once these speeches are done, let’s have some fun, okay?” David smiled, lifting his glass. “To Dean and Y/N, I know that your relationship is already a strong one, so may it continue to always be.”

Mary stood up, already a mess of tears as she tried to dap them away. She smiled over at the couple and took a deep breath as she prepared to talk to them.

“I want to start off quickly by thanking everyone for coming today as well. I look around now and see so many people who are so important to our family, and it just warms my heart to see you all here, and to see some other very important people who have now joined our family,” she started, looking from David and Meredith to Y/N. “I’m so happy for my son, who’s found someone who makes his world brighter. Y/N, thank you for seeing all of the good things in my son and for loving him for all of it and more. I’m so glad you came into his life, and therefore, ours. There’s not much I can say to you as advice because I already know how much you both care for each other, but as long as that remains constant, as long as you’re there for each other, support each other, love each other… I know you’re both going to be happy forever.” She blew a kiss to them as she sat down, smiling as John kissed her cheek.

Dean watched his parents and saw how much they still loved each other, even after all the things they had been through and all the years together. If he and Y/N were half as happy as they are, he knew they would be perfectly fine.

Jill stood up from her seat next to Y/N, as everyone at their table adjusted to face her. She smiled down at Y/N, who returned it, her eyes never leaving her older sister.

“Hey everybody, I’m Jill, Y/N’s sister. I’m going to ask that you all bear with me because I may cry as I talk about the greatest little sister a girl could ask for,” Jill stated, already getting choked up before even starting her speech. “While she may have had a mean streak when we were younger, like the time she shaved my eyebrow off while I was sleeping-”

There were audible gasps and laughs around the tent, as Y/N shook her head, ready to argue.

“That was because she spat toothpaste in my hair because I bent down at the sink before her!” she yelled, causing everyone to laugh.

“Which is tame compared to the eyebrow,” Jill countered, laughing. “Dean… you better watch out.”

Dean choked on his water, coughing slightly as he laughed. Y/N playfully glared at him, causing him to press his lips together to stop laughing.

“Anyway, while that may have happened… none of it changed how amazing a person she is. With everything she’s been through, everything she’s fought for, and everything she’s accomplished… I’m so constantly in awe of her and the incredible force that she is,” Jill added, looking down at her sister, tears in her eyes.

“When she told me about Dean and how she was starting to fall for him, I thought about how I’ve never heard her sound like this. She had been in love before, but never quite like this. More than anything, it was how she spoke about Dean that struck me. How much respect she had for him, how in awe she was of him, how crazy she was about him. From that, I knew that there was something there that was special. Meeting Dean only proved that further,” Jill said, looking over at her new brother-in-law. “I saw how much he reciprocated all of those things back to Y/N, and that was when I truly knew… that this guy, well he was the real deal.”

Dean smiled at her, a little nod between them to acknowledge that Jill had always approved and would always continue to do so.

“So, Dean… welcome to our family. Thank you for taking care of my sister the way you have so far… I know she’s in safe hands and you’ll always continue to do so,” Jill ended her speech, sitting back down and leaning over to Y/N, hugging her tightly.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you, too,” Y/N whispered back, kissing her cheek.

Sam stood up next to Dean, standing in such a way that Eileen could read his lips as he spoke. He had been signing for her so far, Eileen having refused an interpreter at the reception as they wouldn’t have needed him for very long, unlike the ceremony. Sam cleared his throat, looking around at everyone before he started.

“Hi everyone, I’m Sam, Dean’s younger brother and best man. So, I had thought a lot about what to say today, since Dean asked me to be his best man, actually. I thought about how I should say nice things about my big brother, but then everything I thought about didn’t feel like enough to tell you all how great he really is,” Sam said, looking around at the guests before he looked at Dean.

Dean looked at Sam, a small smile on his face as he wasn’t used to his little brother saying things about him.

“My entire life, Dean’s protected me. I didn’t always like it; in fact, sometimes I really wasn’t appreciative of everything he did for me. Then of course there were the stupid pranks he pulled on me. I’m sure most people know the Nair incident, but let’s not bring up old wounds… let’s just say, Dean got into a lot of trouble for that one,” Sam continued. He raised an eyebrow as he looked at his brother, as people laughed, shook their heads in disbelief as they remembered the incident, while others looked around wondering what happened.

“Still can’t believe you did that,” Y/N whispered, shaking her head at Dean.

“Well, clearly we’re made for each other, what with shaving off Jill’s eyebrow,” he whispered back, smirking.

She giggled and leaned in, kissing him softly.

“Then as I grew up, I realized that despite the pranks, despite the constant annoying comments about my hair, the bad singing in the car, the same five albums playing over and over every time we went somewhere, the way that he always had to have the last word… through all of that, the fact that he always there when I needed him… it was the one thing, in the whole world, that I could always count on. It’s the only thing I’ve ever known that was true,” Sam said, clearing his throat as he felt the emotion rising up from his chest.

Dean smiled softly, letting a low exhale, deeply touched by everything his little brother was saying.

“That’s why I know without even a shred of doubt, that Y/N…” Sam looked at her as he spoke his next words. “Dean’s going to be there for you through anything for as long as you’re both living on this planet.”

Y/N smiled, her heart skipping a beat at Sam’s beautiful words.

“And yeah, sure, he’s going to probably piss you off. You know who to vent to when that happens,” Sam laughed as he gestured to himself. Dean shook his head as he annoyedly glared at Sam, causing Y/N to chuckle, as others joined in.

“But he’s never going to let you down,” Sam continued, smiling. “And I have to thank you too, Y/N. I told you the first time I met you that you’re good for Dean, and I’ve never seen anything to tell me otherwise, for as long as you’ve been together. For a while there, he was lost, but you found him and brought him back to being the person that he is and always has been. I know I speak for everyone when I say we’ll be thanking you for that for years to come.”

A small tear rolled down Y/N’s face, causing her to dab it away with the tissue in her hand.

“So, without me going on and on, let’s raise our glasses to the bride and groom,” Sam announced, lifting up his glass of champagne, as all the guests did the same. “I hope you both have an amazing life together, counting on the things that are honest and true. To Dean and Y/N!”

“To Dean and Y/N!” everyone cheered, clapping and sipping champagne.

Dean and Y/N clinked their glasses together, kissing softly before they each took a sip of the sparkling liquid. They both got up from the table and thanked everyone, Y/N hugging her dad then Mary for their beautiful words. Dean went over to Sam, tapping him on the shoulder.

“That was some speech, little brother,” he said, smirking.

“Yeah, I tried to mix it up,” Sam stated, laughing slightly. “Tried not to make it too chick-flick for you.”

“Thanks for that.” Dean chuckled slightly, before he smiled at him. “What you said about Y/N though… it was great, man.”

“Well, she’s great,” Sam affirmed, looking between Dean and Y/N, who was talking with Mary.

“Yeah, she is,” Dean said, quietly as he smiled, watching her. He turned to Sam and gestured to come closer, both of them hugging as they clapped each other on the back.

“Thanks, Sammy.” Dean smirked as he pulled away from his brother, grasping his shoulder.

“Don’t mention it,” Sam said, smiling as he patted Dean’s arm.

They went their separate ways, as Dean and Y/N continued to make their way around and meet everyone. He hugged Mary when he got around to seeing his parents, not before receiving a quick kiss from Y/N as she walked past him to continue socializing with others.

“How do you feel?” John asked.

Dean grinned. “I feel… amazing.”

“Told you you’d get through it,” John said, softly as he smiled.

“Thanks, dad.” Dean smiled at his dad, hugging him.

“Dean!” he heard his groomsmen call out to him, making him pull away from his father.

“It’s okay, we’ll catch up later,” John said, a small chuckle leaving him.

Dean smiled and then walked over to his friends, seeing Y/N head over to them too. He leaned down and kissed her, passionately once they reached each other.

“Alright, let’s dance,” she said, taking his hand in hers.

“Dean dancing? This I gotta see,” Sam teased, smirking.

“Hey, I’ll have you know that my new sister-in-law taught me a few things,” Dean stated, tilting his head over at Jill.

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really? When?”

“Really, and a few days ago, when she got here,” Dean replied, smirking.

“Well, let’s go then!” she yelled, laughing as she dragged him onto the dance floor.

Most of the guests were dancing, drinking and having an amazing time, while others mingled, talked to people they hadn’t caught up with yet or hadn’t met ever. Everyone was having the time of their lives, none more so than Dean and Y/N. She laughed in surprise and excitement as he danced with her to a faster Elvis song, loving to see him so carefree. After a few songs, they stopped in the middle to cut the cake, everyone gorging on the delicious sweet. She ran her finger through some of it on the surface of the knife, offering it to him. She felt her cheeks heat up as he sucked on her finger, winking at her.

“Little preview for later?” she asked, smiling.

“Maybe,” he replied, smirking.

The night continued on, the women all dancing together when “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” came on. Dean was having a conversation with Bobby but kept getting distracted as he looked over at Y/N, dancing with Jill, Charlie and Meg. Evie and Mia bopped at their feet, being very careful not to step on aunty Y/N’s dress. Dean quickly finished talking to Bobby, promising to catch up with him in a few days time, before making his way to the dance floor. He roared as he swooped in, picking up Mia and spinning her around. She laughed and squealed, holding him tightly as he joined everyone. The song changed over to “Dancing in the Dark”, as more people joined in. Jill and Brian danced together, as the girls danced with their aunt and uncle.

“Uncle Dean, guess what?” Evie yelled over the music.

“What’s up, kiddo?” Dean looked down at her, taking her hand and spinning her around, as he held Mia in his arm.

“I had bacon today and I liked it!” Evie told him, excitedly.

Dean put a hand over his heart, smiling at her. “Kid after my own heart.”

She latched onto him, making it difficult for him to move, but he leaned over and kissed Y/N, having gone too long since their previous one. Eventually, pretty much everyone was on the floor, dancing together as they continued to enjoy themselves.

The night began to wind down, as a few more guests thanked them for a wonderful night and they thanked them for being there, before they left. Y/N was chatting with Jody and the girls, when Dean came up behind her, putting his arms around her.

“Excuse me, ladies, but I gotta steal this one away,” he told them, slowly turning Y/N around.

“Go ahead,” Jody said, smiling.

“The girls want you to throw the bouquet and then we can head out,” Dean said, kissing her softly.

“Head out? We’re only going home, we can stay a bit longer,” she stated, frowning.

He smirked, shaking his head. “We’re not going home.”

“Oh really?” she asked, smiling. “What do you have up your sleeve this time, Dean Winchester?”

“Well, considering we’re not going on our honeymoon until next month because of the last few weeks of school, I pulled some strings with a customer who’s a manager at a hotel in town, and got us a room,” he replied, biting his lip as he smirked.

“You’re amazing,” she said, simply as she shrugged.

“So are you,” he said, leaning in and kissing her, lovingly.

Within a few minutes, Y/N got up on a chair as the women all gathered around to take part in a tradition she wasn’t too fond of, but Charlie had convinced her that it was a bit of fun. Y/N turned her back to them, launching the bouquet overhead, turning to see it glide through the air. Charlie stepped aside to let it end up in Meg’s vision, causing her to launch forward and grab the flowers. She looked at them with shock, not having been close enough to catch them and yet there she was. Holding the bouquet.

Cas looked on from where the guys were standing, suddenly feeling hot under the collar of his shirt. Sam looked at him, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

“You okay there, Cas?” he asked, smirking.

“Fine,” Cas replied, clearing his throat.

“Looks like you’re next,” Benny teased with a smirk of his own.

Dean laughed, tapping Cas on the back. “Relax, man. You look like you’re gonna barf.”

“I’m fine,” Cas repeated, his voice raspy and nervous.

The three of them looked at each other, chuckling quietly.

Within another hour, the reception came to a close, just a little after 12:30am. Their immediate family and friends stayed and left the tent with them, as they made their way back to the ranch house where they had gotten ready. The girls helped Y/N change out of her wedding dress, promising to take it back home for her. She got dressed into a white, A-line dress that came to just above her knees, changing into white shoes that had a shorter heel. She smiled as Charlie handed over an overnight bag she had packed for her, telling her that she was in on the surprise from Dean. Doing one last sweep of the room, the girls left and walked out to the parking lot.

She smiled as she saw Dean leaning against the Impala, his white dress shirt tight across his muscles as he crossed his arms, having ditched the suit jacket. The back of the car had a “Just Married” sign stuck to the trunk, and cans tied underneath. She knew he couldn’t have been happy about that, but he didn’t seemed he didn’t seem to care at that moment. They said their goodbyes to everyone, before Dean turned around and walked to the car, opening the passenger side door as he waited for Y/N.

She waved at everyone as she hurried over, quickly sitting inside as he shut the door. He waved at all the guests one last time as he ran around the front of the car, getting into the driver’s seat.

“Ready?” he asked, as he turned to Y/N. He had the most perfect smile on his face, which she reciprocated.

“Ready.” She leaned over, kissing him softly as he started the engine.

With one last look in the rear-view mirror, Dean’s foot pressed down on the accelerator. The Impala sped off, as he pressed the horn a few times and Y/N stuck her head out of the open window, waving as everyone cheered. They made it down the long drive, everyone disappearing from view, as Dean took a right turn and put them in the direction of Kansas City.

Once they arrived at the hotel, checked in and rode the elevator to their floor, they made their way to their room. Y/N stood back as Dean opened the door, took her bag from her and dropped both of them inside the door, holding it open with his foot. He took Y/N’s hand and bent down, wrapping an arm under her legs and around her back, picking her up.

“Really?” she asked, laughing as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Hey, we stuck to other traditions today, might as well stick to this one, too,” he replied, as he carried her across the threshold and into their hotel room, the door shutting behind them.

He walked over to the bed and carefully dropped her onto the covers, the rose petals scattering around. She laughed as he climbed on top of her, his legs on either side of her. The lights in the room were dimmed, giving everything a warm glow as they gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Hi, wife,” he breathed, grinning.

“Hi, husband,” she whispered, beaming.

He leaned in, kissing her passionately as he took her hands in his and placed them on either side of her head, their fingers curling between each other’s. The kiss became heated quickly, both of them wanting to be as close to the other as possible, after being apart since the night before.

“Dean,” she mumbled against his lips. She bit her lip as she wiggled her eyebrows. “I think I need to slip into something more comfortable.”

He hummed, kissing her again quickly. “I think you do, too.”

He rolled away from her, letting her sit up and stand up from the bed. She turned back to him and felt a heat spread through her body and settle in her as she looked at him, his legs crossed as he leaned up on his elbows, smirking at her. His white shirt had a couple of buttons open, exposing his neck and clavicle, making her shiver. She smiled at him and walked away to the bathroom, picking up her overnight bag along the way, and shutting the door.

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror, smiling as she let out a small squeal. She had never felt as happy as she did in her relationship with Dean, and she couldn’t wait to see how much deeper their love would grow now that they were married. Unzipping her dress on the side, she slipped it off and took off the simple bra and underwear she had put on. She unzipped her bag, smiling when she saw the white lingerie she had bought. Good thing she had told Charlie about it and her friend packed it for her. She slipped it on, clasping the bra and adjusting all the straps. She took out the soft lace robe and put it on. Looking at herself in the mirror again, she took out all the pins from her hair, flicking it back and forth to open it up. She stroked her hands through it and fluffed it, the strands now wavy from being in the bun all day.

With one last check in the mirror, Y/N opened the door and walked out. She smiled as Dean sat on the edge of the bed, taking his shoes off. She cleared her throat and he looked up, stopping what he was doing as his eyes raked over her. He looked up into her eyes, smiling as he dropped his shoes and leaned back on his hands, watching her walk over to him. She straddled him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he sat up, placing his hands on her hips.

“Like it?” she asked, as her hands combed through his hair at the back of his head.

He hummed as he leaned in, kissing her neck softly. “Definitely… but I think I’d like it better on the floor.”

His hands moved up to her shoulders, her arms moving back to let him push her robe down her arms, letting the delicate material slip to the floor. She shifted forward, her covered mound pressing against his crotch as she began to grind slowly. He pulled her closer, kissing her neck, nipping at the spot that always drove her crazy.

“God, I love you so damn much, sweetheart,” he whispered between kisses, making his way to her mouth, pressing a searing kiss to her lips.

“I love you, too,” she said, pulling away briefly. “So much.”

His hands slid around her back, slowly unclasping the bra and unhooking the bottom part of the lingerie. He pulled it off her and threw it on the floor, leaving her in the matching white lace thong.

Pulling her into him, Dean turned and laid Y/N down on the bed, her head resting against the pillows. She sat up, reaching for his shirt and unbuttoning it, kissing him feverishly as she pushed it off his shoulders and tossed it on the floor. He leaned over, laying her back against the bed, moving in to kiss her again. He trailed his lips down, kissing along her neck and collarbone, down the valley of her breasts, stopping to plant a kiss to each of them, making his way down her stomach.

“So beautiful,” he whispered against her skin, making her press her lips together, her cheeks hot from his admiration.

She looked down at him, watching as he pulled her thong down her legs and dropped it to the floor. Their eyes met as he moved between her legs, a small smirk on his face as he leaned in and placed a kiss to her sex. She bit her lip as they kept eye contact, a gasp leaving her as he licked a stripe over her folds. He moved his tongue from her entrance to her clit, tasting her as she started to get wet. He ran his tongue over her swollen nub in circles, causing a small moan to escape her lips. He started to alternate between sucking at her clit and slowly thrusting his tongue into her wet canal, as her hands moved into his short locks.

“Dean, oh my god,” she moaned, looking down at him as her hands gripped his hair tight.

“Taste so good, sweetheart,” he groaned.

He continued his ministrations, as a string of moans left her, his name falling from her lips as she felt her core tighten, knowing that she was close. No matter how many times Dean did this for her, every time was a euphoric experience, a feeling that could never be compared to anything else because it was just that amazing. Every single time.

“God, feels so good,” she whimpered, closing her eyes tightly.

“Come on, baby,” he whispered against her thigh, planting a kiss to her flesh. “Cum on my tongue, wanna feel it.” He dipped his head and continued to suck at the swollen nub and lick at her entrance, ready to bring her over the edge.

“Dean, fuck I-” she moaned, threw her head back. “Dean!”

The coil snapped as she came, her wetness slicking his tongue and lips. He lapped at everything she gave him, not moving until he was satisfied. Pressing a kiss to her inner thigh, he drifted up, holding himself above her as he smiled.

“You alright, sweetheart?” he asked, softly.

She reached up, cupping his face in her hands and bringing him closer, kissing his lips and tasting herself on them. She looked up at him, stroking her thumbs across his cheeks as she looked into his eyes. “I really am.”

His eyes flicked over every part of her face, taking in every feature. “You’re so beautiful.”

“So are you,” she whispered, gazing into his green orbs.

“Wanna be inside you, sweetheart,” he groaned, softly, as he reached for the belt on his pants.

“Want that too,” she sighed, reaching up to plant kisses along his jaw. “Need you inside me.”

Dean took off his belt and dropped it down the side of the bed, undoing his pants and slipping them off along with his boxers, throwing them to the floor. He was hard, his cock throbbing after he had brought her over the edge with his mouth. He took a hold of his shaft, pressing the tip to her entrance, as her legs spread a little more. Knowing she was more than ready for him, he sank into her, a soft moan leaving her lips as she felt her walls stretch and sheath his cock completely.

“Fuck, you feel so good inside me, Dean,” she whispered, kissing his cheek. “So good.”

“So perfect wrapped around me,” he whispered back.

He pulled back slightly, thrusting back into her as he set a slow, sensual rhythm. He leaned down on his forearms, his face closer to hers, kissing her passionately. She held onto his shoulders, her legs wrapping around him, her heels digging into the globes of his ass. Their bodies moved together in a slow dance, their lips moving against each other at the same pace.

“I love you,” she whispered against his lips, a soft and loving smile on her face.

Dean pulled back slightly, looking deep into her eyes. He couldn’t believe that he got to be her husband, feeling overwhelmed by the moment as he continued to move within her.

“I love you so much, Dean Winchester,” she sighed, her hands moving up to cup his face again. “I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.”

Dean reached up and took her hands in his, their fingers linked as he held them down on either side of her head. He leaned in, pressing his forehead to hers, their eyes boring into each other’s. For yet another time in their relationship, he wondered how luck finally came to him, how he finally found the woman of his dreams. He marvelled that he found a woman who truly cared for him, who loved him unconditionally and saw past his flaws. He couldn’t believe his luck to get the chance to spend his whole life with her.

Y/N breathed heavily as she gazed up at him, seeing his eyes begin to water. She couldn’t believe that this man above her had come into her life right when she needed him. That he had found everything about her incredible, to the point where he had committed to spending his whole life with her. He loved her and made her feel safe, and she constantly thanked the universe every day that they found each other.

A tear rolled down Dean’s right cheek, causing Y/N to reach up and softly brush it away. Another tear escaped his left eye, as he let out a mix between a gasp and a moan. His shoulders shook as a wave of emotions flooded him; his jaw clenched as he tried to keep the tears at bay.

“I love you so fucking much, sweetheart,” he rasped, a few more tears escaping.

She held his face in her hands, leaning up slightly to softly brush her lips against his cheeks, kissing his tears away. He continued to move within her, her walls clenching around his cock as his hips undulated slowly, hitting her g-spot repeatedly. Her hands joined with his again, their fingers tight around each other’s. Linked together. Forever.

She smiled through tears of her own, tilting her head to kiss his lips softly. “I love you, D.”

He thrusted into her a little faster, knowing that she was close from the way she contracted around him. He leaned up slightly, looking down at her as he moved deep with her, her hips meeting his. She felt the heat in her belly rise, her core tightening again, her second release fast approaching.

“Dean,” she moaned loudly, her hands grasping his tightly. “Baby, I’m so close.”

“Me too, gorgeous,” he grunted, clenching his jaw. “Cum with me.”

She looked deep into his eyes, as his hips snapped against hers a few more times, causing her to moan loudly. With their names on each other’s lips, they fell over the edge together, her wetness slicking his shaft, as his seed coated her inner walls, the euphoria washing over them like a calming ocean.

Dean breathed heavily as he dropped his head to her chest, his lower body slowly laying between her legs. She ran her hands through his sweat-soaked hair, holding his head in place, her chest rising and falling harshly as she caught her breath. He turned his head slightly, softly kissing the top of her breast and any other part of her skin that he could reach. He slowly pulled out of her, but she didn’t allow him to move away.

“That was incredible,” she said, softly, feeling a tear escape her eye and run down the side of her face.

He nodded against her chest, not trusting his voice at that moment.

They lay there in the same position for a few moments, until Dean rolled off her and shifted back against the pillows. Y/N moved into him, resting her head on his chest and wrapping her arm around him. Her fingers made random patterns on his chest, both of them basking in the afterglow of their wedding night love making. Soon, sleep was starting to creep in. He reached up and turned off the lights from the switch near the bed, the clock on the bedside table reading 2:15am.

“I love you, Dean Winchester,” she whispered, her eyes closing.

“I love you, too, Y/N Winchester,” he whispered back.

They fell into a deep slumber, their bodies moulded together perfectly, their minds replaying the beautiful memories of their special day and knowing that come sunrise would be the start of new ones being made.

It would be the start of their new chapter together as husband and wife.

-x-

Tags: @deanwanddamons // @winchest09 // @downanddirtydean // @jensengirl83 // @wonder-cole // @that-one-gay-girl // @whatareyousearchingfordean // @flamencodiva // @danneelsmain // @ellewritesfix05 // @roonyxx // @akshi8278 //@hobby27 // @michellethetvaddict // @spngirl05 // @kyjey // @440mxs-wife // @stoneyggirl // @stoneyggirl2 // @deanswaywardgirl // @redbarn1995 // @marianita195 // @babypink224221 // @deans-baby-momma // @parinarain // @thoughts-and-funnies // @mandalou29 // @jerkbitchidjitassbutt // @supernatural-love14 // @vicmc624 // @prettyboyswow // @lunarmoon8 // @irmcpar // @compresshischest09 // @weepingwillowphoenix // @xlynnbbyx // @whiskey-infused-dreams // @perpetualabsurdity // @verytoadpapersoul // @pink-sparkly-witch //

#Life's Lessons Saga #Life's Lessons Time Stamps #Dean x Female!Reader #Dean x Female!Reader Series #Dean x Female!Reader Fanfiction #Female!Reader Insert #Mechanic!Dean #Teacher!Reader #Dean x Reader Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Smut #Dean Winchester Series #Dean Winchester Fanfiction #Supernatural Fanfiction

114 notes · View notes

xxxsweetdreamzxxx · 4 years ago

Text

warnings/tags: dom!Yixing sub!reader, fanfic, smut, slight fluff; cursing, size kink, fingering, unprotected sex, railing, cream pie

summary: over a weekend, the sexual tensions between you and your best friend Yixing come to a breaking point

word count: 4.7k (um, wow)

===============================

i went all out on this one, hope you all enjoy!!

P.S. only the ending is based on a dream this time, I made up the rest :>

===============================

"What are your plans for this weekend?" You asked the two men in front of you.

The three of you sat around a small round table outside your favorite local coffee shop, a few blocks from your work. Around you, the city buzzed in the excitement of mid-day. The autumn sun peeked through whatever gaps in the buildings it could to light up the streets below. Every now and then, the sounds of downtown - a speeding car, a siren - would interrupt the conversation.

Their answers to your question were both something along the lines of 'absolutely nothing' with looks of dread for the boredom to come.

"Why do you ask?" Junmyeon, the one to your left, asked.

Shrugging your shoulders and peering into your nearly empty coffee cup you replied: "I don't know, I was maybe hoping I could tag along with one of you since I don't have anything to do either."

To your right, Yixing was quiet and deep in thought. "I know." He suddenly announced. "Let's go camping!"

You pondered the idea for a moment. The chance to completely disconnect from and forget about the stresses of adult life - even if just for a couple of days? Not to mention a whole weekend alone with your two favorite people in the whole world. Sounded better than any other activities you could think of at the moment.

"Sure why not." you agreed, looking to Junmyeon. "Are you coming with?"

"I'll have to be back Sunday night, but sure."

"We'll bring two cars then, since me and y/n don't have to get back until sometime Monday." Yixing proposed.

Junmyeon knowingly smiled at him. "Must be nice getting a long weekend, I should join you guys' office."

The conversation trailed off into unrelated chatter, until your lunch breaks were up. Parting ways with Junmyeon, you and Yixing walked back to your building a few blocks away, continuing the conversation alone.

In your sophomore year of high school, the two of you had become fast friends, both having the same interests and intended career path. He had then introduced you to his friend Junmyeon, and although you didn't have as much in common with him as Yixing, his easy-going personality made you warm up to him quickly. Throughout the remaining two years of high school, the three of you had been inseparable. You didn't even have any girl friends, but you didn't need any with the boys always around.

Although, you would be lying if you said you'd never caught feelings for either of them. The truth was both were very attractive and had girls falling for them left and right. Multiple times over the years you yourself had gone through phases of having a crush on one, then the other until finally you decided it wasn't worth potentially ruining the friendship. These days, those feelings were rare - and dismissed as quickly as they came up.

Entering your office building, the two of you rode the elevator up to your floor. Exiting quickly through the still-opening doors, you said your goodbyes to Yixing for the rest of the afternoon with a slight wave as you both headed to your individual desks.

.•°•. _ .•°•. _ .•°•. _ .•°•.

The rest of the week was uneventful, work progressed at the office smoothly. Later on that day, you'd gotten out of the shower after work to find Yixing and Junmyeon already texting in your group chat and making plans. Junmyeon was in charge of food and drinks. Yixing had a large tent that could be used, and would pick you up Saturday morning.

y/n: you guys have to leave at least one thing for me to do

not_a_sheep: bring yourself

y/n: very funny

suh01: don't worry y/n, we'll work your ass off once we get there

not_a_sheep: we? I never agreed to this

y/n: promise

suh01: i'll make sure of it

y/n: lol k

y/n: I can also bring equipment like flashlights and first aid just in case

not_a_sheep: good idea

And so it was that you awoke early on Saturday, pulling your hair into a loose ponytail. You dressed in some light denim shorts, a tank top, and a cropped jacket that provided just enough warmth until the day heated up. You kept your makeup natural, so if it was damaged by the outdoors in any way it wouldn't be noticeable.

Feeling your phone buzz in your pocket, you quickly opened it to the lockscreen and glanced at Yixing's text signaling his arrival. Grabbing the backpack you'd packed the night before, you slid on your sneakers and headed out of your apartment and to the street. There he was waiting for you, Junmyeon sitting behind him in his car. Waving briefly at Junmyeon, you turned to Yixing's car as he rolled down the window.

"You can toss your bag in the backseat." He instructed, smiling at you.

Doing so, you then got in the passenger seat, closing the car door. He sped off in the direction of the country with Junmyeon following close behind. You picked up the soft sound of music playing at a low volume through the speaker. Only when he turned the volume louder did you realize he was playing your shared favorite band on the radio. Turning to smile at him, you saw he'd been waiting to see your reaction and once he did a grin spread across his face. God was that a cute grin.

You ignored how flushed you suddenly felt by averting your gaze and singing along to the music. And that's what you continued to do for the next two hours. You didn't hold back one bit, you were so comfortable with each other. Your voices mixed in a passionate duet - you both knew every line the lead singer sung.

Before you knew it, you were racing past open plains and small pine forests with no signs of civilization in sight. After passing by a few potential spots to set up camp, he pulled off the road near the edge of a forest and field. Rolling through the bumpy grass for a minute or two, he finally stopped and parked the car once the road was out of view.

"Wow, we're in the middle of nowhere." You observed, exiting the car and taking a look around.

"It's perfect!" Junmyeon called, walking over from his car which was parked a little ways away. Once he'd gotten closer, he spoke again at a normal volume. "So, what did I miss out on in the past two hours?"

"Only a concert sung by y/n and yours truly." Yixing replied with a shrug.

At this Junmyeon laughed. Leaving the boys to talk about the drive, you walked around to the trunk of the car. Opening it, you took the tent out which was still folded up in its bag.

"Where should we set this up?" You asked, holding it up for them to see.

"Somewhere near those trees." Yixing pointed. As you began carrying it over, you heard him call out to you again. "Hey y/n, Junmyeon and I are going to quickly gather some firewood for later!"

"Alright!" You yelled without looking back.

You walked over to the flat area that he'd instructed, a few yards from the trees. Making sure the cars were still in sight, you sat the tent down and began to unpack it, separating the pieces. Unfolding the stiff main walls of the tent, you attempted to flip the thing right-side up - except now it was too big for you to move. You tried a few more times before stepping back for a moment so you could muster up all your energy.

You felt someone standing behind you the second before they tapped you on the shoulder. Startled, you spun around to find Yixing right next to you with that grin on his face. Behind him you could see a pile of fallen branches he'd set on the ground.

"Need some help?" He asked.

Sighing, you smiled at him in defeat. "Sure."

Each taking one side of the tent, you easily flipped it over with his assistance. It consisted of a single large interior room and a separate screened "porch" in the front. You then found a rock that fit in the palm of your hand, and used it to pound one of the stakes on a corner of the tent into the ground. It worked well. Moving to do the same on the next stake, you bent over to reach it. You could feel Yixing's eyes glued on your figure the whole time you drove the stake into the earth.

Straightening up, you glanced at him with a teasing look on your face. "What?"

Embarrassed that he'd been caught, he quickly looked away and acted like he was going to work on one of the stakes that you hadn't gotten to yet.

"Yixing, did you need something?" You asked in the same tone, subconsciously very aware of his intent but refusing to fully acknowledge it.

Chasing him down around to the other side of the tent, you found him still avoiding your eyes, a slight pink painted across his cheeks. "Can I use that rock?" He asked, refusing to make eye contact.

"Oh, sure." You replied, handing it to him. You were stopped from making any further comment by Junmyeon's approach, branches in his arms.

"Who wants lunch?" He asked, dumping the wood with the rest.

"Me!" You were starved after not eating breakfast.

Heading off to his car, you decided to keep it silent between you and Yixing as you waited for Junmyeon to return. He returned with some sandwiches he'd prepared for all of you, and nothing was said for minutes as you devoured them. Then the idea of a hike was brought up and agreed to.

After finishing every bite of your lunch, water bottles were gathered and the three of you made your way into the forest. Junmyeon led, while Yixing was in the middle and you brought up the rear. You soon came across a creek, and decided to follow it so you could easily retrace your steps when you decided to head back.

Yixing's back was facing you as you followed him along the trail that Junmyeon chose. With him in your view the entire time, you couldn't help but take note of his broad shoulders, his tight ass. The way his sculpted muscles moved as he walked showed his strength - it was all very attractive. Continuously you were shoving these thoughts from your mind only for them to return again. 'He's my friend.' You reminded yourself. 'I can't think like this.'

Eventually you opted to just stare at the ground until you got back to the tent - several hours later. By the time you returned, the three of you were exhausted, muscles aching. The sun was already lowering in the sky, turning it all shades of orange, pink, and yellow. Grabbing the wood gathered earlier, the boys built a bonfire the best they could while you went to grab the marshmallows out of Junmyeon's car.

When you returned, the wood was already ablaze. They'd created the perfect campfire, setting the biggest logs flat on the ground as seats. It was just dark enough now that the fire created a barely visible glow that warmed the ground and air near it. Already sitting, they turned to look your way at your approach, Yixing's face lighting up with the sight of the marshmallow bag in your hand. His grin made your face feel hot and you quickly looked at Junmyeon instead, who smiled at you, understanding conveyed in his gaze.

This exchange made you blush further, as you looked down at the grass and sat down next to Yixing on a log. Why did you feel this way? And why the fuck did you just sit next to him? Maybe you were just going through another phase of crushing on one of your best friends. These thoughts ran through your mind as you focused on opening the marshmallow bag. 'Nothing'll come from it, as usual.' You reminded yourself.

Pushing these thoughts to the back of your mind again, you asked: "Do we have some sticks for this?"

"Here." Junmyeon replied, leaning over to hand you some he'd gathered. It occurred to you that this whole time he'd been watching you, reading you.

The sky darkened, and the night got late. The three of you ate marshmallows, both golden and burned. Stories of all genres were told by everyone. Laughter filled the air. At some point, drinks were brought out, and enough was had to the point that everyone was tipsy. The tales became more ridiculous, small secrets were spilled without any thought. But it was okay, you probably wouldn't remember any of it by morning.

Slowly, one by one, you began making your way to the tent as time creeped into the early hours of the morning. Junmyeon was first, followed shortly by Yixing after he'd put out the fire. He asked if you were coming too, and you replied with something like "in a minute."

When you did stumble your way over to the tent several minutes later, you moved to open it when you heard hushed voices. They were practically whispering, but bless your good hearing - you could just make out most of the words.

"Are you sure?" Yixing asked, excitement detectable in even his whisper.

"I think so," Junmyeon replied, "...can't look at you... blushing..."

You put your ear even closer to the tent wall, struggling to hear Junmyeon.

"I'm scared to make a move." Yixing confessed. "I'm scared I'll ruin everything."

Then Junmyeon said something inaudible.

In your drunken state, none of these words made sense. Did he have crush on somebody? Deciding you couldn't stay awake out there any longer, you finally entered the tent. They already lay on the ground, falling asleep. Junmyeon acknowledged your presence with a soft "hey" before rolling over on his side to face the wall of the tent. Yixing lay in the middle. You slowly crawled next to him on the other side and laid down.

After a few minutes, Yixing spoke the last words you heard before drifting off to sleep. "Goodnight y/n."

.•°•. _ .•°•. _ .•°•. _ .•°•.

The light of the late morning sun filtered through your lashes as you blinked open your eyes. The first thing you noticed was the throbbing in your head, the second was the arms securely wrapped around you from behind. Remembering the sleeping arrangement the night before, you quickly realized it was Yixing, spooning you like a child hugging onto its favorite plushie. At this revelation, your heart began pounding rapidly.

You reached to touch his hand. "Yi- yixing?" You asked in a quiet voice.

"Hmm..?" He moaned, semi-awake.

For painfully long moments he continued holding you as he fully awoke and assessed the situation. When he realized he suddenly pulled away, sitting up and mouthing a "sorry," hoping Junmyeon wouldn't hear. Taking deep breaths to calm your heart, you sat up as well.

"What time is it?" You asked in the same tiny voice.

He grabbed his phone off of the ground and looked at the time, surprised by it. "10:23."

"Ugh." You groaned, rubbing your forehead. "My head's killing me."

At this, Yixing became concerned. "Do we have pain killers?"

"Yeah, in my emergency bag." You replied, still holding your head with your hand.

"I'll go get them." He said without a second thought, quickly exiting the tent. Not two minutes later, he came back pills in hand.

"Do you have water?" He asked.

At your motion to your water bottle a few feet away, he leaned over and grabbed it. Opening the pill bottle, he took out a dose and handed it to you. Then he did the same with your water. He made sure you took and swallowed them, concern never leaving his expression.

"Isn't your head hurting too?" You asked.

"A bit, but I'll take care of it after you start feeling better." He replied. "You're more important."

Not knowing whether to take that as a compliment or not, you pouted. "No I'm not, you're equally important. Where's your water?"

"Gone since yesterday."

After thinking a moment, you held out your water bottle to him. "Here."

He stared into your eyes, a little taken aback but looking to see if you were truly fine with it. For once, you met and held his gaze, letting him know you were. Taking the bottle from your hand, he swallowed the pain killers. You watched as the tip of your bottle that had been on your lips moments before touched his. But it was the way that he tilted his head back as he took a sip that made your indecent thoughts return. You snapped your head towards the wall, covering your reddening face with your hand.

He set the bottle down again, not noticing your state. "Thanks y/n."

He then moved to exit the tent again, waking Junmyeon. After rubbing his eyes and running his fingers through his hair, Junmyeon left you in the tent alone, still just as flustered and replaying the morning's events in your head for minutes on end.

After you'd calmed down, the rest of the morning and afternoon flew by. Pretending like nothing happened, the three of you went about activities similarly to yesterday. You had brunch, then walked into the forest again, heading for the creek. This time, you went in, the coolness of the water refreshing from the mid-day heat of the sun. After splashing around and playing for hours, you returned back to the campsite and roasted some sausages over the fire for dinner. When the last bite had been finished, the three of you continued talking right up until the end of your time together.

Standing up from a log, Junmyeon sighed. "Well you two, I've gotta bounce. I'll leave what food's left with you."

"Aight man." Yixing stood up, giving him a quick hug. "See you in a few days."

Yixing then said something quiet to him, causing Junmyeon to nod.

"Bye y/n!" Junmyeon called, waving at you.

A little confused that he wasn't offering a hug as usual, you didn't voice it and waved back. "Bye!"

With a smile, he turned and walked to his car. After removing the cooler with food inside, he took off, leaving you alone with Yixing. On your own, not as much was said, you chose your words more carefully. He started the fire up again with some new wood that had been gathered that day. You sat on separate logs, slowly conversing as the sky became colorful, then dark. This night was a bit cooler than the last, and you began to shiver slightly.

During an awkward silence, he noticed this. Without saying anything, he reached out an arm, inviting you to sit on the same log as him. Heart rate speeding up a bit at the thought, you shuffled over to sit beside him after no hesitation. Wrapping his right arm around you, he pulled you close.

"Better?" He asked, smiling a sweet smile.

"Mmmh." You agreed, trying to loosen the way your body had tensed.

The minutes ticked by, and the only thing you could hear was the pounding of your heart deafening your ears. Then your worst fears came true.

"Y/n... is that your heartbeat?" He questioned.

When you refused to answer, mind racing, he pulled your face around to look at him, hand on your cheek. "Hey, are you alright? Your face is burning up."

In that moment, a feeling overcame you. Maybe it was because of the way he cared so much, the genuine concern he expressed. Or how you felt infinitely safe around him in a way you couldn't describe. Although, it could've also easily been the way the firelight danced off his tan skin. The way it lit up his warm brown eyes more powerfully than the sunlight could ever dream of. It could've been any combination of those things or others. But something compelled you to pull down his face to yours, brushing your lips across his in a soft kiss.

Snapping out of it, you pulled away, seeing the shock on his face. "Oh my god, Yixing I'm so sorry I-"

You were cut off as he kissed you back, a long deep kiss that you melted into. When you finally pulled apart, you giggled at how stupid you'd been.

"What?" He asked, smirking.

"I'm so blind. I thought you didn't like me in this way."

He shook his head. "I have for a long time y/n."

As he met your lips again, your heart felt as though it was soaring above the clouds. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you ran your fingers through the hair at its base. Quickening the pace of your kisses, you began to breathe heavier. Panting, you felt him pick you up by your waist and place you on his lap. You began to grind your hips down into his. Groaning, he quickly stopped you by gripping them, firmly holding you in place.

"Slow... down.." He panted, speaking between your kisses.

"But- I want this." You told him, meaning every word. The wetness already pooling between you legs confirmed it.

At your spoken consent, he released his grip on your hips. Straddling him, you began moving again, slower than before like he'd instructed. A growing bulge felt between your legs made you keenly aware of his arousal. A stronger thrust on your part made him grunt and swear against your lips.

"Shit y/n."

Suddenly you both lost your balance, crashing onto the grass a few feet away. You were only on top for the few seconds it took him to remove your shirt before he rolled you under him, pinning you in place. He took control of the pace, speeding it up. Being completely engulfed in his shadow made you want him more.

Spreading your legs wider, he unbuttoned your shorts and began pulling them down. Then he tugged at the waistband of your soaked panties and pulled them down to your ankles as well. Fully exposed to him, the scent of your arousal mixed with the smokiness in the air, penetrating your sense of smell. There was no way he wasn't aware of it too. You felt him move a hand down your body towards your naked heat.

When you felt the first touch of his fingertips against your folds, trembles rocked your body. You forced yourself to relax, settling down into the soft grass. Only to get excited again as he started tracing fast circles with his thumb on your clit, spreading your slick. You felt him smirk at how wet he'd made you. You arched your back up off the ground, moaning at the pleasure.

Beginning to feel your high building, you didn't warn him just yet. But unexpectedly, he inserted two fingers into your dripping pussy without warning. You cried out, sucking in a sharp breath as you flexed your walls and came onto his finger all in seconds. A little surprised, he pulled them out. Whimpering, you rode out your first orgasm underneath him.

After you'd calmed down a bit you moved to unbuckle his pants. He held your hand away for a moment.

"Y/n, I didn't bring a condom. And... I don't want to hurt you." He said carefully.

"I..." you panted, "don't care... I can take it." Another breath. "Just take care of me afterwards."

After hesitating a moment, he let go of your hand, and assisted you in removing his clothes. First his pants, then shirt, then his boxers. Springing free from the fabric, his cock stood erect as you took it in. It had good length, but its girth was what made you lay your head back on the grass and prepare yourself. The following seconds inched by as he moved towards you.

Pulling him down closer onto your body, you led him into another round of rough kisses as you felt the tip of his cock brush against your clit. Taking his hand in yours, you intertwined your fingers with his, waiting.

Pain shot through you as he slid into you harshly with a single thrust. Pushing deeper, he used his strength until he was balls deep in just two. He filled you up so much, almost too much. Bitting your lip, you did your best to adjust to his size. But he didn't give you much of a chance to, as he pulled out entirely after only being inside for a few seconds. The empty feeling was more painful than the full. You throbbed, desperately needing him back.

Thankfully he didn't wait long before fulfilling this as he repeated himself multiple times. Your combined pants and moans filled the night air as he forcefully fucked you into oblivion. It didn't take much of this to cause your second high. Aggressively pounding into you again for the unknownth time, he hit that sweet spot. Your mouth fell open and you gripped some blades of grass next to you with your free hand.

"Th- there-" you managed.

Understanding, he didn't remove himself fully again, only doing so partially before angling himself to hit the same spot. He only did so twice before you came undone for the second time that night.

"Yixing!" You cried out too late.

You clenched around his cock, feeling it twitch inside you. He swore, arms becoming shaky and breath choppy, warning you right before he came. Hot strings of his cum shot through you, filled you up to the brim. Your combined wetness then spilled out of you onto your inner thighs and the grass. Pulling out completely, he flopped down onto the ground next to you, grinning and breathing heavily.

Reaching out to touch his face, he held your hand against it. Then he pulled you closer, kissing your swollen lips gently. Parting, he looked into your eyes and smiled. You still couldn't look at him in this way without blushing, but it didn't matter anymore. Taking you into his arms, he held you as exhaustion caught up with you. Not a word was said, but none had to be for you both to know the mutual happiness you felt.

.•°•. _ .•°•. _ .•°•. _ .•°•.

You awoke to the sun peaking over the eastern horizon, lighting up the nature around you. Laying on your side, you felt something warm pressed up against your back. Rolling over onto your other side, you winced at the prickling of the grass on your bare skin and the soreness between your legs. You saw it was your best friend's bare chest that had been pressed against your back. He appeared to be sleeping peacefully, slightly curled around your body.

Realization hit you as you remembered the events of last night. Eyes widening, you gasped and covered your face with your hands in embarrassment. Peaking through your fingers, you saw his eyes were now open, that same adorable grin plastered across his face.

"Morning honey." He stretched a bit before realizing where you both lay. "Oh god, did we fall asleep here?"

"Mhmhmm." You replied with a nod.

Sitting up, he grabbed his pants and pulled them on before standing. Offering you a hand, you accepted it and tried to use your legs. Immediately they buckled under you. No way were you walking to the tent.

"Whoa!" He exclaimed as he prevented you from falling. He then scooped you up from the ground and into his arms.

"What the hell have you done to me?" You playfully asked, poking his cheek.

"I'm so sorry." He replied in a serious tone.

"Hey!" You scolded, not meaning to make him feel bad. "I asked for it."

He side eyed you as he carried you into the tent, smirking slightly. "Yeah you did."

Setting you down on the floor, he laid down next to you, cuddling up to you again. A few soft words and kisses were exchanged as you drifted off to sleep together again. It looked like this was what the rest of your trip would consist of, and you'd be lying if you said the thought didn't please you.

197 notes · View notes

silkenstarlight · 4 years ago

Text

blackbird's lullaby

Summary: After a rough day, Bucky can’t sleep. Reader decides to help.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warning/s: a bit of angst in regards to Bucky’s past, but the end is fluffy and sweet :)

Word count: 2.1k

Author’s note: something possessed me to write this instead of working on my finals, so here, enjoy the fruits of my academic negligence lol

My masterlist

Join my taglist

Do not repost or translate! Reblogs and comments are welcome and encouraged :))

Bucky’s side of the bed was cold when you woke.

You sighed deeply, wrenched from the arms of a dream, rubbing the heavy, lulling tug of sleep from your eyes. You were half awake, toeing the line between the violent brightness of a dreamscape and the hazy, blurred shadows of your bedroom. The warmth of the blankets wrapped around your limbs and threatened to pull you under again, but before you could succumb to their soft, enticing tangle, a singular thought rose in your mind from the murky depths of sleep. At first, it was quiet, a hushed voice in your brain whispering to you that you were alone. But then, the concern gained traction, and it blared in your skull with a deep, unnerving clarity, a nagging insistence that made your eyes snap back open.

Where the hell was Bucky?

You sat up in bed and looked at the alarm clock on your nightstand. 2:46 AM.

You frowned, turning to face Bucky’s empty pillow, and reached a hand out, lightly tracing the crisp, untouched folds. The sheets on his side of the bed were still flat and pristinely tucked, his pillow perfectly fluffed. He hadn’t bothered to try to sleep.

You knew why.

You peeled back the blankets and shivered, met instantly with the deep chill of night air as you unfolded yourself from your fleece and goose-down cocoon.

Bucky preferred to keep the apartment cold. You obliged, of course, bundling up in endless sweaters and blankets as he opened the windows wide and turned the rotary fan on full blast. You never questioned him about it, never asked if you could dial up the thermostat just a few degrees. You knew that keeping the apartment cold helped him to avoid the dreaded space of sleep, helped him to outrun the ever-looming specter of his nightmarish past. And, whenever he did come to bed, he gave you all of the blankets, covering his body with just the thin cotton layer of a bedsheet.

You knew that he rarely fell into a deep, nourishing slumber, so you tried to help boost his energy in other ways. Big, steaming pots of the strongest coffee you could brew, a fridge stocked with healthy snacks, and daily morning walks around the neighborhood together. He quietly thanked you for your efforts, pressing sweet kisses to your forehead and leaving fresh flowers in the vase on the kitchen table every Sunday. But, even though he preferred to stay awake, whenever you rolled over in bed to snuggle into his side and found that his eyes were still wide open, a hard lump rose in your throat and a worried pit formed in your stomach.

You swung your legs over the side of the bed and put on your slippers, grabbing one of Bucky’s sweatshirts and shrugging it on as you padded out to the kitchen. You just wanted to check on him and make sure that he was okay.

When he had returned from his mission earlier in the evening, he had seemed a little off to you. Usually, he was quiet, preferring to listen to you as ranted about your stressful workday or gushed about the newest book you were reading. He never wanted to talk much about himself, silently refusing to drag the horrors of his work into your home. It was where he felt at ease-- the plush pillows, the diffused, ambient lighting, the cloying scent of vanilla candles-- it was all so you. He didn’t want to taint the safety and warmth he felt when he was surrounded by your essence with the cold uncertainty and lingering shame of his work. Even though his missions nowadays were usually unrelated to his past as a clandestine Hydra operation, and even though the two jobs differed vastly in motive, he sometimes felt the creeping prick of deja vu traveling up his neck. Follow this person. Disable that vehicle. Shoot this opponent.

All of the lights in the apartment were off, so as you approached the kitchen, you used the bright white glow of your phone screen as a flashlight. You didn’t want to go directly to the living room and make it too obvious that you were checking on him. He would just shake you off if you did, insist that you go back to bed. So, you reached into the cupboard above the sink and grabbed a glass, turning on the faucet and filling it as you peered over the countertop, trying to pick out Bucky’s rigid frame amongst the inky shadows of the living room. You turned off the faucet and brought the glass to your lips, swallowing a couple of small sips.

“It’s late. Shouldn’t you be asleep?” The sound of Bucky’s voice coming from the couch made you jump, the thick glass of your cup clacking against your teeth. You placed it in the sink and walked over to the couch.

Despite the low light, you could see that Bucky was still wearing the clothes he had on when he came home from his mission. Gray tee, leather jacket, dark jeans. He hadn’t even taken off his heavy black boots.

You stepped slowly towards him, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, fighting the urge to bury him in a hug and pepper him with kisses. Instead, you sat next to him, leaving a little space between your body and his. Now, you could see his clenched jaw, his jittery, tapping fingers, and the jumping vein in his neck that only pulsed when he was stressed. His gaze was fixed on some indeterminate point on the wall in front of him, as if he were lost in thought.

This wasn’t a normal sleepless night. Something was wrong.

“I… I guess that I should be asking you the same question,” you said softly, voice gravelly and low from sleep.

He didn’t respond, just took a sharp inhale that made it sound like he was staving off tears.

You couldn’t help it. It was like your body could sense his distress. Your hand jerked up to rest on his shoulder, a subconscious reaction to his apparent suffering. You let it stay there, though, stroking your thumb lightly along the cool leather of his jacket.

He stirred from his reverie and turned to look at you. It was so dark, the curtains shut tight, not a single ray of moonlight filtering into the room, but the blue of his eyes shone bright, glistening with the wet sparkle of unshed tears. Sadness swelled in your chest.

“You can tell me,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “I’m here to listen.”

His gaze dropped from your face, silently weighing your words. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you enough to open up. The truth was that he didn’t trust himself to speak. If he started talking, he wouldn’t be able to stop. And then, his demons would be given a voice, and the doors to this vanilla-scented, blanket-swathed haven would be wrenched open to the darkness that waited for him beyond the threshold.

But he could also see the way that his silence affected you. You frowned more on the mornings after he didn’t come to bed. You talked and talked and talked, trying to fill his ears with noise to distract him from the numbing static in his skull. And you were constantly touching him in some way, whether twining your lithe fingers around his thumb or draping your body on top of his in a warm, crushing hug. It was as if you didn’t want to let him out of your sight.

So, he let out a long exhale and reached up, taking your hand from its perch on his arm and twining his fingers tightly with yours. He idly stroked your palm with his thumb and decided to tell you the truth.

“I… I had a bit of a setback tonight.” He felt like he was wrenching the words from his throat. He couldn’t look at you, a deep sense of shame settling into his bones, but he stared at your hand held in his and felt the creeping self-doubt hesitate just a little.

“What do you mean?”

He dragged his eyes up to yours, blinking nervously. “I, uh--” he inhaled sharply and felt tears prick at his eyes. “Someone used my trigger words tonight. And it worked.”

Silence lay heavy between you as you digested what he said, but you didn’t pull away, didn’t pry your hand from his. You simply held his gaze.

“How is that possible?” He had gone through years of extensive mental treatment in Wakanda, the emotional scars that he suffered after years of lost identity and unwilling servitude seemingly healed. But, now, it seemed that one of those scars had re-opened.

“Ayo said that it was unlikely, but that it could happen. Relapse is a part of the process.” His voice was pained.

You nodded slightly, assenting to Ayo’s expertise. But Bucky’s next sentence made you fall apart at the seams.

“I thought I was different, after all these years. But I guess I haven’t changed. I’m still him.” He spat the last word, his face creasing into an expression of disgust.

You didn’t hesitate. “Come here.”

You gently separated your hand from his and reached up to his shoulders, guiding him towards you in a tight embrace. You wrapped your arms behind his neck and he pressed his chin into the notch between your shoulder and neck. As you began tracing your fingertips along his jacket collar, his chest heaved in desperate inhales, slow tears tracking down his cheeks developing into full, wracking sobs.

“You’re safe. I won’t let you go.” You pressed your mouth against his temple in a soft, soothing kiss.

“You were never him.” Although your voice was barely a whisper, it spoke volumes, your words ringing clear and true in the quiet stillness. Bucky shuddered, squeezing you close. You moved one of your hands up to cradle the back of his head.

You stayed like that for a long time, until you saw the blue light of dawn trickle through the gap beneath the curtains, but you didn’t say anything, waiting for Bucky to say what he needed. When his breath finally stilled into a regular rhythm, no longer halting and ragged, you pulled back and took his face in your hands, staring deeply into his eyes.

“I’m so tired.” His voice was flat and broken, but when you wiped a stray tear from his cheek with your pinkie, a small, grateful smile formed on his face.

You nodded. “Well, I know what will help. Come here.” You pulled back, shifting down the couch, guiding him with you with your hand wrapped around his arm. When he had enough space to lie down, you stopped, settling into your seat. He hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether he could risk falling asleep in his current emotional state, but he sighed, knowing that he needed to rest. He laid back, resting his head on your lap, and looked up at you.

You carded your fingers through his short hair, brushing it back from his forehead. He melted into the gentle gesture, relaxing into the couch, into the warmth of your body.

And then, you began to sing.

You were quiet at first, as if trying out the thought of singing him a lullaby. Your voice was tentative, trying out the feeling of the different notes in your mouth.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

Take these broken wings and learn to fly.

All your life,

You were only waiting for this moment to arise.”

You thought that your voice was nothing special, your untrained, warbling syllables rushing from your lips in a breathy exhale. But Bucky loved it. The way you let your words flow together, followed by a long, lilting end note and a pause to inhale-- it was sweet and soft and so very you.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see.

All your life,

You were only waiting for this moment to be free.”

He could feel it already, the lull of an encroaching dream. His first instinct was to fight it, to blink the sleep from his eyes, but he let his lids shut, blocking out every sense except for the sound of your voice.

“Blackbird fly, blackbird fly,

Into the light of a dark black night.”

And, as he welcomed the embrace of sleep, your voice followed him, a glowing amber halo of warmth that pushed the dark away and lit his path into the space of dreams.

“All your life,

You were only waiting for this moment to arise.”

He dreamt of blackbirds and forehead kisses, of vanilla candles and forgiveness.

He dreamt of you.

288 notes · View notes

stevesharrlngtons · 4 years ago

Text

it’s just what you do.

roman godfrey x reader

summary: “my problem is that if you bring anymore whores around and it’ll start to feel like a brothel in here. and i am far too young to be a madam.”

word count: 6.0k

a/n: if you’ve read some of my st stories, you know i have a little bit of a love for bratty, bitchy readers lol so here ya go! a bratty bitchy reader in the hg universe! (though the reader is pretty tame for what i usually write for a bitchy!reader) i hope you enjoy, and if you do let me know in some feedback (:

You padded down cold stairs in bare feet, yawning as you did. You could already hear Roman and Peter talking quietly at the breakfast bar over cold cereal and sleep graveled voices as you reached the bottom landing. You stretched your arms above your head with a resounding squeak that announced your entrance.

As you push away unruly strands of hair from your face, you rub your cheek, still sheet streaked and warm to the touch.

“G’morin’ (Y/N).” Peter greeted through a mouth full of milk soaked Sugar Crisp.

“Morning, love.” You replied, placing your hands on his bare shoulders and pressing a chaste kiss to the crown of his head.

You let your hands linger on his skin a moment longer before you stepped around him and to the pantry.

“Good morning,” Roman called after you as he watched appreciatively as the hem of your short negligee dusted the tops of your thighs.

You acknowledged him with a hum, but gave him no further greeting. No good morning, no kiss, no smile. Just a hum as you rummaged around searching for your box of oatmeal.

Roman hadn’t come to bed until just before dawn the previous night, only furthering the animosity you felt for him. The new, deep and unrelenting displeasure you held for him now that he had let another woman into your home.

“What? Peter gets a fucking endearment and I don’t get anything?” Roman griped. His voice grated on your ear drums and his angry breathing only served to churn your disdain for him.

You kept mute, clenching your teeth as you gathered a bowl and some milk to make your morning oats.

You pictured turning around to spit in his face, and how it would feel to watch his reaction as your saliva splattered his skin. You’d then tell him to go fuck himself, maybe break a glass while you were at it, anything to get his attention. Or maybe you’d go hop on Peter’s lap, place his hands on your bare thighs and stick your tongue down his throat. That was probably better than any tantrum you could throw. Your boyfriend was nothing if not possessive of what he deemed as his. You fell under that laundry list of Roman’s possessions, though you were unsure if you were soon to be erased and replaced with five new letters.

Because it had been a little over a week since Annie had taken residence in the second guest bedroom. A fucking week of seeing her and Roman eye fuck each other and share whispered conversations. A week of her connecting with Roman on a level you couldn’t understand, of being a part of schemes, of helping him and Peter (something you were never allowed to do) and talking about Nadia. You’re fucking daughter. You swore the next time her mouth began to form the syllables to the child’s name, you were going to strangle her to death. Upir or not, you were sure your pure maternal rage would be no match for her.

And, it had been a goddamn week of you sulking and pouting and seething without Roman taking even the slightest notice, or if he did, not caring a bit. That, more than anything else, is what was truly making you irate.

“(Y/N)? What the hell?” Roman cursed again as you slammed dishes around in cabinets.

Before he could say anything else, another pair of footsteps sounded on the stairs.

“Good morning!” Came her happy french lit as she bounded toward the three of you.

You didn’t acknowledge her presence, simply continued on with your oatmeal.

“I still haven’t gotten over the water pressure here. It’s so wonderful,” Annie says, and you’re sure Roman is half hard at her stupid compliment.

You still haven’t looked at her, but you’re picturing her with damp hair and ruddy cheeks from the hot water. Her face smooth and freckled with youth. Her damp hair turning her already light sleepwear see through and sticky.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” Roman chimes and your neck prickles with anger.

The ice he was treading on with you was growing thinner and thinner by the moment. Melting under your fiery ire for his behavior. When he finally fell through, you hoped he’d drown.

“What are you planning on doing today? Do you have work?” Annie asks.

“I do, but do you need me for something?”

You scoff much louder than you had anticipated and you can feel three pairs of eyes on your back. You square your shoulders and turn toward the group, but don’t look at any of them. The stupid Hardy Boys with their brand new Nancy Drew, resigning you to be the villain, you supposed.

You walk around the breakfast bar with purpose, turning your body obnoxiously to avoid touching Annie as you pass. You weren’t close to her as she leaned against the counter, but you wanted her to know just how much you loathed her. So much so, that the idea of touching you made you recoil.

“Uhm, no. I was just making conversation.” She replied, her voice wavering after your subtle outburst.

You held back a pleased expression as you went to the couch, sitting at the farthest corner from the kitchen and taking the throw blanket from the back and wrapping yourself in it. You took your first bite of oatmeal and clinked the spoon loudly back in the bowl in protest.

“Is everything alright, (Y/N)?” You hated how your name sounded so melodic coming off her tongue, “Are you feeling alright?”

You don’t reply, just continued to eat your breakfast, looking straight ahead. The tension was palpable in the room as Annie shifted her feet and waited for your response. You wish she would pick up on your clear animosity toward her and quit trying to engage with you. Her efforts were admirable, you’d admit, but with the way she looked at Roman, and the way she spoke to him, there was absolutely no way she could possibly expect you to indulge her.

You could feel Roman’s glare on you, his green eyes burning holes through the knit throw to sear your skin with displeasure. Peter was still turned toward the island, shoulders tense with discomfort at the scene you were creating. You almost felt sorry for him, it wasn’t his fault Roman was being an oblivious asshole (and that you were retaliating the way you were). He didn’t deserve to be caught in the awkward crossfire. Maybe you would sneak him into a corner and feel him up for a bit? He did deserve some pleasure for living with Roman’s pain (and hey, if it made Roman jealous in the process, that would just be a bonas of your good deed).

Soon, Annie recovered from your echoing silence and moved back to talking with Roman and Peter. You could see her out of the corner of your eye, sleep shorts hanging low on her hips and flimsy white t-shirt you had imagined, dipping down from her relaxed stance, giving both men a perfect view down her top. You didn’t have to be looking at Roman to know he was stealing glances.

You stayed on the couch, trying to eat your breakfast, but the oats were soggy and not as good as when Roman made them with cinnamon and maple sugar. You toyed with the beige mush until Roman announced he was off to The Tower. He gathered his jacket and briefcase before saying goodbye to Peter and Annie.

“I’m leaving,” Roman called over to you.

You kept your vow of silence and pretended to be interested in the curdling food before you.

“Jesus fucking-- fine! Goodbye.” He spat, irritated.

You continued to fold your oatmeal around your bowl until the front door slammed shut and Annie spoke after a moment's pause.

“I think I’ll be off, too. I have some errands to run.” Biding you both a quick adui before she exited the kitchen for the stairs.

You huffed to yourself. She could only stand to be around you and Peter when Roman was in attendance.

“I feel like I’m in a high school cafeteria and Annie just took your seat next to Roman.” Peter joked, having heard your annoyed sound.

“Well, she should know I always have an assigned seat next to him,” You said, setting your bowl on the coffee table and crossing your arms.

“Oh my God, (Y/N)! Do you hear yourself?”

“I do, and I know I sound childish but I’ve lost the will to care.”

You hear Peter sigh, then the sound of him getting up from his stool to come sit next to you.

“What’s next? Are you going to spread a rumor about her to make Roman think she’s icky?”

“Like anything I said could make him stop mooning over her,” You reply with disdain.

“He loves you, you know that. He’ll ask you to prom, buy you the most valentines and all that shit.”

“He has a funny way of showing it.” You pout with a furrow of your brows.

“Have you considered just telling him how you feel about Annie staying here?” Peter asked.

“If he can’t figure out on his own why I’m so angry, it’s not my problem.”

“Do you really think that’s fair?”

“No,” You tighten your arms across your chest, “But it’s not my fault that your gender has no emotional intelligence or inference skills.”

Peter chuckles, “All the more reason to just come out and tell Roman how you’re feeling.”

You roll your eyes and give him a half hearted glare, “Don’t you have a job to be getting too?”

“Yes, but I want to make sure you at least mull over my option first.” He nudges you gently with his knee

You give a small pause before a small smirk breaks out over your lips, “I was actually thinking about making out with you to make him jealous. Would you be willing?”

Peter claps his hands down on his thighs and pushes up from the couch, “And with that, suddenly I’m late.”

“Oh c’mon!” You giggle and get up to follow him, “Not even a little peck? Just put your hand on my ass!”

“I would rather keep all my limbs attached, thank you very much.” Peter says as he trouts up the stairs.

“You’ll like it!” You call up after him with a laugh.

“That was never in question, sweetheart! I just like my head on my shoulder and not on Roman’s mantle.”

“It’s my mantle, too.” You mutter, going up the stairs after him and heading to the master bedroom in hopes of avoiding Annie before she left for the day.

You had taken an angry nap until noon and then went downstairs to your office to get some work done. It was during this time that Jane, Roman’s new housekeeper after Anna, informed you there were some nice cuts of meat that would be going bad soon, and if you’d like it for dinner that evening.

“That sounds wonderful, Jane. Thank you.” You replied, peering at her over your computer screen.

“Would you like to ask Mr. Godfrey if he would like steak for this evening? Or if another night would be better?” Roman was known to work late, so this question wasn’t unreasonable to ask.

“I’d call him and ask, but unfortunately I am about to hop on a conference call and don’t have a spare minute. Would you mind calling to ask?” You asked in your sweetest voice.

“Of course, Ms. (Y/L/N).” Anna gave you a smile before she parted from the room.

You sighed, and went back to your riveting game of solitaire.

That night with burgundy stained lips, you sat at the head of your long dining table waiting for Roman to return for work. The beautiful reclaimed wood table that you had excitedly picked out at an estate sale that you had seen Annie sitting on just two days before. Swinging her legs like a child and eating a peach while letting Roman ogle her as the juice dripped down her flawless skin. You had slammed the front door so hard that the frame shook.

As you guzzled down your third glass of Merlot, Peter kicked your foot. A silent plea to slow down, so this evening didn’t explode with your loose lipped temper. But, you paid him no mind. You mostly just thought about how much you hated Annie for making you hate her. Hate her, and Roman. Because, really, you weren’t one of those women who stewed in jealousy or was in a constant fear of their partner cheating. Maybe that was because Roman had always been clear in his devotions to you. Sure, his eyes would wander when an attractive woman passed, but you knew he never acted on it. You had a trust in him that had never wavered until now.

You didn’t want to be one of those women who hated other women or demonized them for having your boyfriend’s attention. You didn’t want to be the girlfriend that men could point at and make stereotypical remarks about your possessiveness and label you “crazy” because of your actions in this scenario behind the three of you… but you were near the end of your rope and the woman had barely been staying with you two weeks. You were starting to question that unmoving trust you placed in Roman and it made you sick. All you could hope was that you were wrong… or at least that Peter would have told you if something happened between Annie and Roman by now.

Half way through your fourth glass, the front door sounded open and in sauntered Roman, with Annie in tow.

“Nice of you both to join us,” Peter teased, though you saw a split second of panic cross his features. You knew he didn’t want to play into your paranoia and had just done so unwillingly.

“Oh yes, we just happened to run into each other in the driveway,” Annie said, throwing a beaming grin over her shoulder at Roman who offered her a smile.

“How coincidental,” You offered over the rim of your glass.

Everyone in the room darted their gaze to you, clearly surprised that you had decided to end your silent streak.

“Yes, I suppose it was.” Annie replies, her smile still intact, “Now what’s all this then?”

“Jane noticed some food that was going to go bad in the fridge and offered to make a nice meal for us.” You said evenly.

You remembered when us just meant you and Roman.

“How thoughtful,” Annie said, looking to Jane who thanked her quietly.

“Ms. (Y/L/N) was a great help with it as well,” Jane said, opening another bottle of wine as you had almost polished off the one she had originally opened for the evening.

Ms. (Y/L/N). Not Mrs. Godfrey. You were easy to be rid of, exiled at a moments notice.

Jane was been modest. You had sat with her while she cooked and idly chatted, handing her utensils and chopping up garlic, but nothing else. You were sure she was trying to get Roman to take notice of your efforts, which you thought was sweet. You hadn’t come out and explicitly talked about your problems with Roman to Jane, you were sure she had figured it out on her own.

See that Roman? Your housekeeper knows more about what’s wrong than you do!

“Well, thank you, (Y/N). It looks wonderful.” Annie said.

You might have even thanked her through gritted teeth, had Roman not just pulled out a seat for her and gently pushed it back in. Instead, you settled back into your discontented humming and poured what was left of the original bottle of wine into your glass.

Peter could sense your inebriation level bordering on dangerous, so he quickly raised a glass in distraction.

“Let’s make a toast! We don’t get to have such a fancy dinner this often, y’know?” He smiled through his unease, and if you weren’t almost five glasses deep you might have even caught the desperate looks he was throwing you.

The please-for-the-love-of-god-don’t-start-a-fight-with-me-here looks.

“Well, how about to (Y/N) and Jane? For making this feast?” Annie offered, raising her glass to match Peter’s.

“Yes,” Roman said, his voice tight, “To (Y/N). And Jane of course.”

His eyes bore into you, both of you on opposing heads of the table. He raised his wine in the air like he was challenging you to a game you weren’t sure the rules of. You had never felt so uncomfortable in his presence ever before, and suddenly the idea that something was really wrong between the two of you seemed more plausible.

You raise your glass to your honor, but don't cheer’s anyone, just simply place the glass back to your lips.

Everyone then went around dishing out food on their plates and passing bowls to each other. Annie was always sure to pass to Roman first and he was always the first to offer her what he was holding. You felt like you and Peter were intruders on the romantic dinner that you had cooked for them (well, helped cook).

“Oh, I have some of Pryce’s plasma left in the fridge, do you want any?” Roman offered to Annie as she took a dish of mashed potatoes from him.

“If you wouldn’t mind. Thank you,” She accepted his offer so meek and polite you almost gagged.

Maybe this was meant to be? She was the perfect little wife for Roman after all. Sweet, attentive, was just subversive enough to seem interesting, an upir. The latter was likely the best contender for why Roman would be kicking you to the curb soon. It made sense, they were the same and she was new. And don’t all men want some new pussy after a while? You were no stranger to Roman’s reputation, and you had been reminded by many a peer of his serial adultery in the past… you had just hoped he’d outgrown it when he fell in love with you.

Roman came back with the plasma and leaned over Annie’s shoulder to fill her glass. You heard her take a sharp intake of breath at his closeness and watched as she glanced up at his face, which was mere inches from her own.

You ground your knife hard into the porcelain of your plate, and the sound broke her from her Godfrey trance. You pretend nothing happened and put a green bean in your mouth.

You tuned out the table’s conversations about their days and recent events, feeling isolated and somber. The wine was no doubt contributing to your sadness, but the residual feelings of neglect and rejection were getting to you. Because if Roman really cared, wouldn’t he have pulled you aside by now and just asked you if you were alright? Why you had been avoiding him, why you wouldn’t kiss him goodnight or good morning? Or did he just truly not care at all? Had you been replaced so easily?

You continued to sulk and play over a fictional break up in your head when a topic caught your attention.

“Any news on Nadia?” Annie asked as she swallowed a piece of bread.

Not the baby. Not your baby. Not the child. But Nadia. This woman who was trying to usurp your place in Roman’s life while you were still very present, had just again spoken your daughter's name. Like she had the fucking right.

Before Roman could answer, you pushed up from your seat, again causing all eyes to attach to you. You walked over to the fridge and obtained an old bottle of steak sauce (that you didn’t even want, you were just angry) and returned back to the table with a scowl.

And it seemed this most recent outburst was Roman’s tipping point.

“What the fuck is up with you?” He bellowed, throwing his hand in the air with similar fervor.

“Nothing.” You replied with a snap.

“Sure as shit fooled me! Because you’ve been acting like a fucking brat for the past week. So, why don’t you share with the class what’s on your mind, hmm?” Roman leaned back in his seat and dramatically gestured for you to speak.

“You wanna know my problem, Roman?” You bit out.

Peter was likely already planning his escape.

“That’s what I said.”

“My problem is that if you bring one more whore into this house, it’s gonna start to feel like a brothel. And I am far too young to be a madam.”

And there it was. Grievances were now aired, and unfortunately in front of your two house guests.

Roman’s jaw tensed and flexed as he stared you down, “Peter. Annie. Would you excuse us?”

Both stood without any more prompting and scurried to the stairwell as you and Roman continued to glare at each other in silence. When you heard the twin sounds of doors shutting, Roman finally spoke.

“So you’ve been a fucking nightmare because Annie is staying here? Are you kidding?” He scoffed.

“Don’t belittle me,” You ran a hand through your hair and looked away from his piercing gaze.

“What? Like you just did to Annie?” He motioned to where she had sat.

“Oh,” You mock, “Roman, her knight in shining armour. I’m sure it’s hard to save her when you’re up on your high horse.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“I’m talking about this fucking obsession you have with this woman! This obsession your culviating right under my nose and in my home.”

“Are you fucking serious?” He spits.

“Yes, I am. And don’t play so god damn naive. If the roles were reversed, you would have thrown a fit by now! Fuck, a fit! Fuck any amount of tantrums I could even begin to think of throwing! You would have murdered someone by now.” You seethed.

Roman looked at you with a bewildered expression, his eyes bugging and his mouth agape, stuttering for words, “So, you’ve really just been jealous? Fucking Christ!”

“Like you wouldn’t be if the tables were turned.”

“Fuck off about if the tables were turned. We’re talking about you, not me.”

“No! We are talking about you, Roman. This is just as much about you as it is me.” You shout, “And it has everything to do with the tables being turned. Because if I invited a man to stay in this house -- our house -- and all he ever did was fawn over me and I batted my eyelashes at him and giggled at everything he said while in nothing but a towel you would give yourself an aneurysm.”

“Stop changing the subject,” Roman snarled.

“Can you tell me with absolute and utter certainty that if I offered some guy a room, then spent all my time with him, had little inside jokes with him and touched him, you wouldn’t be angry?”

Roman doesn’t respond, just resets his jaw.

“So, if this man told me how beautiful I was, flirted with me and would never shut up about how similar we were, you wouldn’t be mad?” Roman just clenched.

“What if you started to suspect that I was fucking him, huh? What if you started to think about him inside me? Kissing me? Making me cum? Making me--”

Roman’s fist connecting with the tabletop cut you off.

“Enough! You win, OK? I would hate it, alright? I’d fucking kill him.”

“Thank you! That’s all I wanted. I just wanted you to see my side of this fucking story. Why I have been so mad.” You deflate against your chair, though you know this fight is far from over.

“And you didn’t just tell me, why?” Roman inquires.

“Because you should have known! I know that sounds ridiculous and I can see you rolling your eyes, but you should have known that I was upset and asked me what was wrong.” You said, tears bubbling up, causing your throat to constrict.

“I did ask you! I asked you this morning.”

“Yeah, in front of fucking Peter. Like I was going to tell you then… and you didn’t even mean it when you asked. If I would have told you, you would’ve just yelled at me and made me seem like I was crazy. I wasn’t going to open up to you when I already thought you thought I was being stupid.”

“You thought that I thought? Jesus… I have no idea what you want from me…” Roman sighs, reaching around the back of his chair to retrieve his cigarettes from his jacket pocket.

“I want you to hear me when I say that having Annie here, a woman who so clearly wants to fuck you, bothers me. A woman who you are clearly attracted to, a woman who is clearly attracted to you. It hurts me that you’re letting her stay here, especially when you didn’t even ask me if she could.” You were barely holding off the overflow of tears from your eyes at this point and you knew the second you started to cry this would all be over. Because you would start to blubber and Roman would get irritated that you couldn’t get a word out.

“Let me get this straight: I’m attracted to Annie, she’s attracted to me? So I’m going to have sex with her? And what? Leave you? Is that right?” Roman puffs around his cigarette, the condescension in his tone unbearable.

And your dam broke, the tears threatening to breach your lash line were flowing freely now. Why Roman wasn’t able to just see that something was hurting you and help change, was beyond you. You decided right then and there that you refused to let him have the satisfaction of watching you cry. You were done, for an unforeseeable amount of time.

“You’re so fucking mean.”

You sucked your teeth loudly before pushing up from your seat and heading for the front door.

“C’mon, what are you doing now?” Roman groaned, turning to watch you leave over his shoulder.

“I’m done. I’m going to Destiny’s.” You said curtly, taking your purse and keys from the hook in the entryway.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes I am. I’m done, Roman.” You slung your purse of your shoulder and clutched your keys tight.

“What for tonight or forever?” He asked like he was calling your bluff.

“If you can’t understand why I am so hurt, then I don’t know. Maybe forever.”

“Hey, woah, what?” Roman’s voice was startled as he got up from his seat and rushed to the door, “No, you aren’t leaving. This conversation isn’t over.”

He planted a large hand on the door handle, preventing you from opening it. You could feel his hulking figure behind you and you wanted to shrink under his size, but stayed strong.

“Roman, move your hand.”

“You’re not fucking leaving. Let’s just talk this out, OK?” He bargained.

You tried to pry Roman’s long fingers from the handle, but even with all your might working to untangle their hold, he was just too strong.

“I’ll listen, OK? I’m sorry, just let’s talk. Let’s talk about this.” His knuckles were turning white below you. You could see his bones threatening to break the surface of his reddening skin.

“Are you going to listen to me, or just dismiss and make fun of me? Because if you do Roman, I’ll just go out the back door.”

“I will. Promise.” He sounded sincere. Maybe now that he knew you were serious, he was more receptive to what you had to say.

You turned to press your back to the door and look up at him. The fear on his face was surprising to you. You hadn’t expected him to be so scared at the prospect of your leaving, he sure hadn’t cared that you were around since Annie arrived.

“I’m mad at you.” You stated frankly.

“Yeah, I caught that.” He sighs.

“I don’t like how you act around Annie. It’s disrespectful to me. I’m not a woman who cares when you look, but when you start to flirt and threaten to touch? I’m done, Roman. I’m not kidding.” You raised your eyebrows as Roman listened intently.

“I never touched.” He swore.

“Yes, but you’ve flirted and “innocently” touched. Flirted, touched and now you are starting to look at her like you looked at me.”

“I have never looked at her the way I look at you.”

You scoffed, then pantomimed his love lorn expression for him, clasping your hands over your heart theatrically.

He just rolled his eyes, “I’ve never looked at Annie like that.”

“Trust me, you have.” You say, ducking under his outstretched arm to walk back to the kitchen.

“Baby…”

“Don’t baby me, I’m still pissed.” You started to gather the abandoned plates to put in the sink for Jane.

“Then what can I do, huh? How do we work this out?” He asks, running a hand through his hair.

“Let me just ask you something,” You abruptly turn from the sink to face him, “Do you want to fuck her?”

Roman sucks in a deep intake of breath and opens his mouth, but closes it just as quickly.

Your tears threaten once more. You already knew his answer was yes, though all but hearing him say it was worse.

“Ok, let me ask you something else. Have you slept with her?”

“No! Absolutely not, baby. Never.” Roman said, taking a step toward you.

“And why should I believe you when I know that you want to have sex with her? Hm?” You crossed your arms.

“Because you know I love you. Because you know that I can’t even stomach the idea of my life without you,” Roman says, his tone frighteningly serious.

You look at him for a long moment, his eyes pleading for you to speak while you collected what you wanted to say next.

“Do you want to leave me for her?” You finally said, trying your best to sound collected.

“Baby, hey--”

“No, just listen Roman,” You took a breath, “Because, you know, if you wanna be with her, be with her. Just do it. Don’t string me along because you’re scared of losing more people. Because I get it, I mean I do. She’s an upir, you’re an upir... You have shared experience and she can teach you about what you are and just… Roman if you leave me just don’t be a pussy and cheat on me. Just break up with me.”

Roman looked at you bewildered and once again stammered for his words. For a moment, you were planning on looking at the price of U-Hauls; on how long you could stay with Destiny before you were intruding; if you would stay in Hemlock Grove because it was less expensive or just go straight to shopping for places in Philly?

But Roman doesn’t sigh and tell you it’s over. He doesn’t let you down easy or even scream and stomp his feet.

He just says:

“I love you more than I have loved anyone in my entire life. Family, friends, whatever. It doesn’t matter because you win. You always win. I’m not breaking up with you, alright? Jesus fucking Christ, nothing sounds worse to me than that.” Roman takes a long stride toward you to look soulfully into your eyes.

“Yeah, I think Annie’s hot and yes, she’s an upir. So fucking what? I’m not going to leave you because of that! I could give a shit about either of those things when you’re right under my nose.”

Your pick at your nail polish as you listen to him, feeling embarrassed. But Roman doesn’t let you wallow as he tilts you by the chin to look at him.

“I should’ve asked you if she could stay, I’ll admit that. I shouldn’t have been so chummy with her, either. And yeah, I probably should’ve just asked you why you were being so fucking moody. But you should have told me what was wrong without pouting.”

“I just wanted you to come to me and ask… for some reason I convinced myself if you asked me what was wrong, it was a sign that you still loved me.” Saying it out loud made your face heat uncomfortably.

“I love you, but that has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” Roman chuckles.

“Don’t be rude,” You huff, pushing him gently by the shoulder, “Letting another random woman stay here was the real stupid thing.”

“How about we call it a draw?”

“I think I can handle that…”

“Ok, then it’s a deal. I’m sorry, you’re sorry, it’s all good.” Roman pinches your chin lightly to hold your face in place to place a soft kiss to your lips.

You hadn’t kissed him in days, and the feeling made you whimper.

“Is there anything else you need to get off your chest crazy lady?” Roman asks, his breath dusting your mouth with a smirk on his face.

You push him again, with more strength this time.

“I don’t like when Annie mentions Nadia. She is our daughter and hearing that woman say her name makes me go into like, hyper lioness mode and all I think about is punching her.”

Roman’s eyes widened.

“I do not need another woman sticking her nose in our business with our daughter. May I remind you that’s how we got into this whole mess in the first place?”

Roman sucks in a deep breath through his nose, “That’s fair.”

“I already miss her, I don’t need some woman who’s trying to hop on my boyfriend’s cock talking about her.” You were starting to get angry again.

And fucking Roman, he just smiles.

“Hearing you call her our daughter, calling me your boyfriend, all while being on a little jealous rampage? I gotta admit baby, it’s got me hard as a rock.”

“It always comes back to your weird primal possession,” You roll your eyes.

“Eh, you knew that from the beginning.” He shrugs.

“You’re still not totally forgiven, y’know?”

“Yeah? And what do I have to do to get out of the dog house, baby?” His smile turns devious.

“I want Annie out of this house,” You began.

“Done.” Roman cups your face as he started to walk you back toward the counter.

“I don’t want you seeing her without someone else present, or without telling me first. Not because I don’t trust you, but because--”

“--You don’t trust her. Got it,” Roman says, firmly pressing your lower back to the marble slab now.

“You know I have an intuition about these things,” You purse your lips in a pout as Roman begins to trail kisses across your jaw, “You should really be thanking me. I just know Annie’s going to turn out to be bad news. I have a feeling.”

He laughs, “Is there anything else, baby?”

“Yes…” You pause, “I want an inground pool. You promised me one when we moved in and the plans keep getting pushed back. I want to go swimming.”

“I’ll get the plans drawn up tomorrow,” He sucks on your pulse point.

“And you have to buy me as many bikinis as I want, designer ones, and I don’t want to hear one peep out of you about the price.” You crane your neck to give him more access to continue his sweet assault on your skin.

“I’ll leave you with my credit card so you can order as many as you want.”

Roman moves from your neck to look down at you, his cocky persona flickering for a moment so you can see the sweet eyes of a lovesick boy hoping for forgiveness.

“Like I don’t already know the number,” You smile, letting him know that it had been granted.

He groaned, “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“I love you, too.” And you reached up to kiss him fiercely.

i hope you enjoyed! this was fun to write, i love writing a moody!reader lol. if you did enjoy, let me know with a comment or reblog (: ‘til next time, ily! *lets hope third times the charm and this ends up in the tags lol

863 notes · View notes