#listen wearing belts as a kid would bring me to literal tears

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

disobedience

Summary: Surprising Dave York at the only place he told you not to find him was risky. Wearing nothing but a coat and some lingerie, even riskier. 

Pairing: Dave York x F!Reader

Wordcount: 2.5k

Warnings: office sex 

A/N: diving deeper into the York pit... 👀

Masterlist

Taglist in reblog

It was risky.

Going into the only place that he told you you should never show up. Never under any circumstances. You never asked questions, but it was only natural that you were curious about the place that seemed to be off-limits for you, wasn’t it?

You didn’t mean to fuck your boss. But then again you were only a babysitter and Dave York had probably been the nicest and most compassionate father you had ever met. That he was almost 20 years older, freshly divorced, and that there was something dangerous in his eyes was also a nice benefit.

“How can I help you?” The lady at the reception asked with a professional smile. It was close to 10 pm on a Friday. You knew Carol had the kids this weekend and you also knew that Dave had been working a new case the whole week and you would probably not see him until you were due to pick up the girls from their ballet lesson next Wednesday and bring them home.

“I’m looking for Dave York? I���ve been trying to reach him but he isn’t answering his phone. I seem to have forgotten my keys in his house when I picked up the girls earlier. I’m the babysitter. And now I can’t get to my apartment,” you sighed, hoping your lie was believable.

The lady frowned, sighing herself.

“Agent York doesn’t want to be disturbed. That’s probably why you can’t reach him. I’m trying to call him.”

“I could also just go to his office? It’ll only take a minute,” you tried. She smiled at you.

“I wish I could let you in there by yourself, but this is the CIA. I can’t just let you waltz in there,” she explained, already the phone at her ear. You nodded, already feeling your chances of surprising Dave slip away. But apparently he wasn’t only ignoring you today. Sighing she put down the phone.

“He’s not answering. Tell you what. Wait 15 minutes over there until my colleague is coming from her break, then I’ll walk you over to his office, okay?” She smiled and you breathed out relieved.

“You are a lifesaver.” You smiled.

Who thought 15 minutes could be this long? Straightening the coat you were wearing you pulled out your phone, texting Dave.

Still ignoring me? ;)

It didn’t even take a minute before he answered.

I’m not ignoring you, I’m working. Now be a good girl and let me work. I’ll make it up to you by not punishing you too hard next week.

What if I want you to?

Thin ice, sweetheart. Thin ice.

Smiling to yourself you scrolled through your phone, checking your emails. You had finished your last exam for the semester only yesterday and you had applied for some internships. Your eyes widened when you already had an answer from one of the places you would literally kill to do an internship in.

“Ready?” The lady from the desk called and you looked up, nodding at her with a smile before you got up from your seat and followed her.

“I love the coat. The weather has been insane these last few days. Where is it from?” She asked you in the elevator.

“I don’t know. My… boyfriend bought it for me last month. He kinda ripped my old coat…” You explained.

“Boyfriend? I wish I was that lucky. But at least I have my roommate.”

The rest of the way to Dave’s office was silent. This building was like a maze and now you were grateful that you had someone walking you through it.

“Here we are.” She already knocked on the door and you heard his murmured “come in” through the door.

“Mr. York? This lovely lady apparently had been trying to reach you because she can’t get into her apartment.” She looked at you and you smiled thankfully at her before your eyes found Dave’s. He looked tired. His tie loosened, the first two buttons of his shirt undone, the sleeves rolled back. There was a flicker of surprise in his eyes before his eyes left yours.

“Thank you, Miss Diaz,” he said to the Lady next to you who only smiled at him.

“Greet this boyfriend of yours. He has a great taste,” she winked before she walked past you. Breathing in deep you took a step inside Dave’s office. There was a flicker of annoyance in his eyes and you swallowed your nervousness down.

“Close the door,” he said, leaving no room for any argument. You walked in, closing the door behind you. Leaning with your back against it as you looked at him, your hand still on the door handle. You locked it and Dave raised one eyebrow.

“I thought I made it pretty clear that I’m busy and that you aren’t supposed to come here,” he said cooly.

“You did.” You bit your lip as you looked at him.

“And yet here you are. I really don’t have time for this.” He shook his head.

“Are you sure?” you asked, breathing in deep, a little smile on your face. He looked at you, his eyes trying to analyze you. He always did that when he couldn’t figure out what was going on in your mind.

“Are there cameras in this office?” you asked. He frowned, shaking his head.

“Good,” you winked, before you unfastened the belt of your coat, letting it fall to the ground.

Dave didn’t say anything, his eyes not leaving yours for a moment before he finally took you in. Biting your lip as his eyes wandered down your body, you felt yourself grow nervous. You could never read him. He always looked kinda grumpy and you could count the moments you caught him laughing on one hand. You knew he liked what you were wearing. He told you himself the first time you wore it. It was a deep purple silk bra, only holding together by the bow in front. The same with the very small thong, two bows on the side. You decided on a black garter belt, holding the black stockings you were wearing. You even wore heels, deciding to take an Uber to get you from your place to here, before you could chicken out of going here wearing close to nothing.

“You really missed me, huh?” Dave asked, wetting his lips.

“You didn’t let me cum the last time,” you pouted.

“And you know damn well why,” he sighed, closing his eyes. You could see one of his hands disappearing under his desk. “And you clearly didn’t learn your lesson showing up here of all places wearing nothing but this.” He got up from where he was sitting, walking over to you.

He stopped right in front of you and you shivered, feeling him so close. He shook his head, leaving down to breathe you in before he kneeled down, picking up your coat.

“That boyfriend of yours has a good taste,” he teased. You were about to open your mouth to answer when he kissed you. You gasped against his lips, his tongue slipping into your mouth, dominating the kiss as his arms pulled you close against his chest. Your hands wandered up his chest, clutching the fabric of his shirt.

“Think you can cum in the next 10 minutes? Cause I really don’t have time,” he murmured against your lips. You grinned, your hands running down his chest, opening his belt.

“The question is, can you make me?” you whispered, moaning when he slapped your ass. Hard. His other hand grabbed your jaw, making you look up at him. His eyes seemed even darker.

“You better be a good girl or we both are gonna have to deal with what you started by ourselves. Now get down on your knees,” His voice seemed to have dropped an octave and if you weren’t wet before, you certainly were now. Getting down on your knees you made quick work of his belt, opening his pants and pulled his already half-hard cock out of his underwear.

You kissed the tip, your eyes not leaving his as you parted your lips, taking his whole length down your throat before he got really hard. You couldn’t manage it when he was hard. He was too thick.

“You really are hungry for my cock, aren’t you?” His hands brushed over your cheek tenderly. You felt him grow hard as you continued to suck him off. Something about being able to make this man grow hard just with a touch made you still feel beyond powerful.

Dave grabbed you by the back of your head, holding you still before he looked down at you, his eyes asking for consent. You just relaxed your jaw, your hands on his thighs squeezing lightly before he began to move. Slowly he fucked your mouth, knowing exactly how deep you could take it.

“Such a good fucking girl for me,” he groaned quietly, moving faster. You gagged as he went deeper, tears springing into your eyes, as you breathed through your nose slowly.

“Fuck I could just cum down your throat. That’d teach you huh?” He moaned. “Teach you that you will not get to cum until you fucking listen to what I say,” he slipped his cock out of your mouth, pulling you up, his hands still on your neck as he kissed you hard.

“Hands on the desk, and take your fucking panties off.” He hissed, his hand stroking himself as he watched you.

Unsteady you walked over, pushing your panties down on the way, before you leaned with your two hands on his desk, looking over your shoulder to see Dave bend down to pick your panties up.

“Soaked. Shit, you really want to cum,” he chuckled to himself, pushing your panties into the pocket of his pants as he walked over, his hand still stroking his cock.

“Eyes up front,” he snapped as he caught you looking. You obeyed immediately, feeling yourself shiver as you breathed in deep. You could feel your arousal dripping out of you. You really were more than ready for him.

Feeling him behind you, you swallowed, his chest against your back as his hands unwrapped the fabric holding your bra together, pushing it down your arms. He played with your tits, his hands warm as he teased you.

“Now here’s what’s gonna happen,” he whispered against your ear. “I’m gonna fuck you. Hard. You’re allowed to cum as often as you can manage and I’m gonna cum inside you. And then I want you to get that coat on and let a taxi take you to my place and wait for me in my bed,” he nibbled at your earlobe and you closed your eyes, biting your lip to keep yourself from moaning.

“I’m gonna keep your underwear here, so better keep my cum inside of you, if you don’t want it dripping down your legs on your way,” you could feel his lips against your skin as he smirked and you couldn’t help but moan.

“You like that? My cum inside of you while you wear nothing but that garter belt and a coat?” You felt the tip of his cock in between your folds.

“I need words, baby,” he whispered.

“Yes, Sir,” you whimpered.

“Good girl,” he kissed your temple before you felt his cock push inside of you. You let your head fall down, embracing the delicious burn that still came no matter who wet you were and no matter how much he prepared you when his cock invaded your tight walls.

“Fuck…” you moaned when his hips slapped against your ass and he was settled deep inside of you.

“You gotta keep quiet,” Dave said before he began to move.

He was never gentle and you absolutely loved it. Grabbing the edge of his desk hard you met his thrusts, biting your lip to keep yourself from moaning out loud as he rammed into you.

“Dave…” you moaned, your orgasm so close, when one of his hands left your hip, closing over your mouth as he pulled your upper body, against his.

“I told you to be quiet…” he hissed into your ear, his hand not leaving your mouth as you whimpered at the changed angle he was thrusting up into you. His other hand grabbed one of your tits, squeezing hard as he fucked you deep.

“I’m close so you better cum…” he groaned. You covered his hand on your tit with yours, pushing it down your body until his fingers were on your clit.

“Take what you need,” he whispered, kissing your shoulder.  You moved his hand, his rough fingertips circling your clit. You weren’t even trying to be quiet anymore, focused on chasing your orgasm.

“Cum. Now,” he growled, thrusting harder and you saw stars. Riding the wave of your orgasm as Dave fucked you through it, groaning into your shoulder as he sucked on your skin, surely leaving a mark you would wear with pride.

“Squeezing me so fucking good. Gonna cum…” he groaned, his thrusts getting sloppier until he stopped and you felt him spill deep inside of you. You both breathed hard, Dave finally releasing your mouth only to turn your head towards him to find your lips in a demanding kiss.

“I’ll try to be home by 2 am,” he whispered against your lips. Still trying to normalize your breathing you nodded. Slowly he slipped out of you and you felt hot as you felt a little of his cum drip down your thighs. Turning around you saw him pull his pants up, straightening his clothes before he walked over picking up your coat again.

“You really gonna me go back naked?” you asked amused, letting him help you into the coat. He made sure to button it up, tying up the belt, leaving his hands on your hips.

“I really am. Yeah,” he kiissed you softly, his eyes warm as he looked at you. “I really needed that, thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome, Mr. York,” you teased and he shook his head, grinning to himself before he parted from you, walking back to sit down at his desk, bringing yout bra that lay on it to his nose, before he tucked it into the first drawer of his desk.

“Text me when you’re home,” he looked at you. Nodding with a small smile you turned around on unsteady legs before you unlocked the door.

“Don’t make me wait too long,” you said over your shoulder before you opened the door and walked out, hoping to remember the way.

It was 30 minutes later when you found yourself back at his place, laying in his bed completely naked and content.

“I’ll be waiting for you here then.” You texted him, taking a picture of yourself hugging his pillow, already anticipating the moment he got home.

[writefightandflightclub]

You are my sunshine (Finn x GN reader)

What is this? This is 7/10 one-shots/blurbs for my “friends to lovers” event. (More deets in pinned post). The prompt is from @phoenixhalliwell​ and is Finn with “You think something is wrong but I simply have a huge crush on you and turn to jelly whenever you’re around.” Emma, thanks so much, and I hope that you like this! <3 I don’t write Finn often so I dearly hope I did him justice!

Author’s note: Finn! He’s precious. He deserves everything! Hope you enjoy this- there’s a little bit of angst but it’s followed by fluff. Everything ends well <3

Word count: 3k. You had all better be proud of me for writing something less than 5k :P

Warnings: lil bit of angst (reader thinks Finn is mad at them). Trapped in a cockpit but no danger / not claustrophobic or anything. Slight reader insecurity. It’s pretty light tbh :o)

You watch Finn leave with a sharp pang of pain. His excuses are becoming more and more elaborate, and it’s wearing thin. 

 “Sorry, I have to go and deal with a porg infestation on the Falcon.”

“I can’t hang around, Leia’s fuming mad at Poe - he made some crude Outer Rim innuendo during the briefing and she is pissed.”

“I can’t play sabacc anyway because... because I got dust in my eyes on the mission and everything is blurry.”

“I have to run and...” and then he, in fact, ran away from you.

Alright, the first two were feasible, but that last one, especially? Pretty kriffing flimsy.

It was beginning to sting a little. Alright, a lot. You and Finn usually hung out, whenever he was around on base. You always had, ever since Finn had taken control of his fate and been welcomed by the Resistance.

Since then, you had become his first real friend, and when everything was scary and new to him, you had held his hand. Literally- Finn was always reaching for you. For comfort. For reassurance. To demonstrate his fondness of you. Just because.

Of course, he’d settled into the Resistance like he’d always been a part of it, and had quickly formed a range of new friendships, including with Poe and Rey - all the cool kids on base. Of course he had. The man is likeable, courageous, and he has sunshine in his heart - despite being raised in the shadows. The strength of his light is so powerful that it blinds you sometimes. So, he’d made other friends, but you had always been his first, and his best.

At least, until now.

Recently, Finn’s touches and warm hugs and light had begun to retreat from your sky. You miss his bright brown eyes and his beaming smile desperately. You miss your movie nights and long chats. You miss laughing until your sides hurt. You miss the way he can turn anything into an adventure. The way he really listens when you talk, and his good, brave, generous heart.

This distance? It is more than a natural drift - it is more an intentional break. Intentional on his side, at least. Most definitely not on yours.

You don’t know why. You don’t know what you’ve done wrong…

…But you are determined to find out.

And, if Finn won’t talk to you off his own back, you’ll simply have to concoct some flimsy excuse of your own.

***

That’s exactly what you do, yourself and Finn now sealed together, alone, in the cockpit of some old cargo ship.

“You’ve trapped us in here?!” the man exclaims, voice loud and ringing with a rising panic.

“No,” you sigh, defeatedly. You don’t want to panic him - you just want to talk to him; without him running away. “You’re not trapped. Obviously, I’d never actually...” you trail off as you watch Finn urgently button-bashing on the control panel by the door, clearly pretty desperate to leave. “I just thought…” you explain, raising your voice a little to be heard over his rising and increasingly vocal frustration. “It was supposed to be a chance for us to talk.”

Finn turns towards you, all this energy coiling in his body, practically bouncing on his toes in his rush to get out of there. He looks as though the prospect of talking to you fills him with dread.

Your face drops. You should have realised this was a bad idea.

“We talked this morning,” Finn defends, weakly. Yeah, for all of two seconds. “Can’t you open this thing?” he pleads, throwing his thumb towards the door.

Fine. Whatever. If he’s that desperate to flee from you, so be it. Maybe you need to accept the fact that things aren’t the same between you anymore. Maybe never will be. Your heart aches in your chest.

Your shoulders slumping, you push the Jedi-in-training and all-round Resistance hero aside, punching the unlock code into the panel.

It beeps angrily in response.

A furrow in your brow, you try again.

“Oh, kriff.”

“What is it?” Finn asks from over your shoulder.

This is fine, actually. You have a back-up. Except, you pat your belt for your communicator, remembering at the same time exactly where you left it in the hangar.

“Okay,” you turn around to face him, your face locked in an apologetic grimace, hands raised in surrender. “So, we may actually be trapped now, but I would like to emphasise this was very much not The Plan.”

Finn purses his full, brown lips together, in entirely transparent irritation, an ire brewing in his eyes.

“I’m sorry!” you say defensively, though you note that your friend, Finn, would have found this funny -made the best of it- and the Finn is front of you now is someone else entirely.

“Being stuck here with you is the last thing I need right now,” Finn says into his hands, the words muffled, and yet their meaning perfectly -and painfully- clear.

Oh. Okay. That’s how it is?

You take a step back from him, wrapping your arms around yourself and rotating quickly away to face the transparisteel window. His harshness feels so alien to you, and bitter tears sting in your eyes, which you don’t want him to see.

“Kriff. That’s not what I meant. It came out wrong,” Finn says softly from behind you, and you finally hear the familiar kindness infusing his voice. The kindness you’ve been so desperate to enjoy again these past weeks. “What I meant was... was...”

Your back to him still, you raise your arm in the air. “Save it, Big Deal. You don’t want to talk to me? Let’s not talk,” you bite, your voice low and taut.

You’ve given Finn the benefit of the doubt for long enough now. Maybe this was a problem you shouldn’t try to fix. He obviously likes things precisely as they are.

Finn, for his part, hovers beside you, clearly apologetic, but you can’t even bring yourself to look at him. Instead, you focus all of your energies on popping open the console, pulling out the wire guts, and looking for a way to open this damn door.

He may have been running away from you, but now you’re the one who wants nothing more than to get out of there.

You had wanted to talk, but all of a sudden you don’t want to hear it. You can’t take one more flimsy excuse without breaking.

***

You’d tried everything. Banging on the door, waving out of the viewports. Trying to find a hatch to escape out of. There was nothing left to do but wait for your data patch to run. You’d linked-up some wires and an old data-pad to the controls, and it was simply a matter of time before your program loaded, overriding the door panel and thus letting you out of there.

Unfortunately, the small matter of time is proving problematic. It has already been about an hour, and the screen indicates your program is only about 75 per cent through -blasted old tech- and you’re not sure how much longer you can endure this fraught, awkward silence. 

Save for your escape attempts, you and Finn still haven’t spoken, and, eventually admitting defeat, you have each sunk to the floor on opposite sides of the cockpit, your knees drawn-up to your chest and backs pressed against the walls of the cool metal chamber. Now, the increasingly cool metal chamber, as the afternoon draws on and the suns begin to sink below the horizon.

You sigh.

“Why are you avoiding me, Finn?” you finally ask, firmly, bringing your eyes to meet his. “And, I beg you. No more kriffing excuses.”

Finn’s knees are drawn-up too, and his elbows resting on top of them, fingers weaving and fiddling together somewhere in the middle as your question finds him.

He purses his lips together once more, his bright, expressive eyes brimming with trepidation, his hand coming up to self-consciously brush against the tip of his rounded nose.

Eventually, his head drops down, until you’re only looking at the top of it. He’s growing out his tightly-coiled, black hair on the top, sides closely cropped, and you idly note that the length suits him. There’s nothing else to note, as he still isn’t saying anything.

Still, when you take a step back from your anger and your boredom, you recognise all the signs of him being anxious, now that he can no longer run away from your questions.

“It’s not what you think,” he sighs, and you shake your head in continued frustration and look sharply away, up and out of the viewport.

And, in the continued absence of an answer from him, your insecurities begin to fill in the blanks. “You know, Big Deal, you don’t have to hang around me just because I’m the first person you met.” Out of the corner of your eye you see Finn’s head snap up to look at you, distress shining in his eyes. You ignore it. “If you’ve decided this friendship isn’t what you need anymore, I can take it. I just wish you’d stop bullshitting me. I deserve better than that.”

Then, you try to suppress it, but you shiver, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to keep warm. You’ve felt chilly for a while now, but you have desperately been trying to conceal the fact.

Without missing a beat, Finn slips his -Poe’s- jacket off from his shoulders, shuffling closer to you, without rising from the floor. As he shrugs it off, he reveals nothing but a white, ribbed vest underneath, tight over his toned figure, and tucked into his belt at his waist. The vest sits in contrast with the deep brown of his skin, the bulge of his cultivated muscles evident in his strong, densely-packed shoulders and arms.

This? This is precisely what you’ve been trying to avoid. You feel warmer already.

Regardless, he moves to your side, kneeling next to you, and he pauses when he gets there. Hesitates. He lifts his finger, running it ever so slowly over the textured goosepimples on your forearm. “You’re cold,” he states, his voice so deep and rich, and his touch and his proximity sending a shiver through you in an entirely different way. You’d like to argue, you really would, but he weakens you, his sudden warmth melting you quickly after his long absence, and you let him guide you forward enough that he can drape his jacket around your shoulders. It is still warm from his body heat. It smells like him.

You wanted silence, but this is the kind that you don’t like; tense, albeit in a different way.

“Thank you,” you say thinly, expecting Finn to pull immediately away again. But he doesn’t.

Instead, his eyes go a little wide and afraid, even as he sets his jaw determinedly. He reaches his hand out, ghosting it slowly down the length of your arm, until he has scooped one of your hands up and flattened it in-between his own broad, warm palms.

Holding your hand.

You’ve missed that so much.

You watch Finn in gentle puzzlement, as his pink tongue nervously swipes out over his bottom-lip. And, with your eyes gently encouraging him to go on, he finally blurts it out. He finally says what he’s been keeping from you.

“I have a huge crush on you. I turn to kriffing jelly whenever you’re around me.”

Your hand suddenly becomes clammy, held in-between his. Your heart quickens.

Wait, what?

“I’m so sorry if I hurt you,” he says, his eyes soft like distant starlight. “It’s just, I panic. I know I like to pretend I’m all smooth...” he chuckles self-consciously, that laugh sounding from deep in his chest, and oh boy, you’ve missed that sound too. You’ve missed that gorgeous pearly smile, which blooms tentatively on his face.

“Smooth?! You do a terrible job of that, Finn, no-one’s buying it,” you tease, but it’s fond, your free hand settling on top of his, and your eyes crinkling with reciprocal joy as his beautiful broad smile widens, his face full of sparkle and light.

“Oh? Okay. That’s how it is?” he laughs.

You’ve missed this. Have missed him.

That’s it? That’s all it is? He has a crush?

After a few moments, the two of you apparently basking in relief -on your part that you haven’t done anything wrong, and on his, that his confession is finally through- his smile naturally falls from his lips; however, it lingers in his eyes, that gentle starlight back again.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you. I just… kept messing everything up around you. I didn’t want you to think I was the biggest dumbass on base.”

“Oh, Finn, honey-” you grin, and he completes the sentence with you, nodding, and a big chuckle falling out of him. “Poe is the biggest dumbass on base.”

Isn’t that the truth?

You simply look at each other for a moment, all this starlight swirling in the space between you.

“Come here,” you say softly, finally, unable to resist, and you shuffle on to your knees so you can lean forward and give him the biggest hug, your arms folding around his sturdy, muscled form. It feels so good to close this distance, especially after so long. Especially as no-one on base gives better hugs than Finn, you are reminded, as he holds you.

“Are we... cool?” he asks apprehensively, into your shoulder as he squeezes you tightly, and you pull back from him, your hands still resting on his shoulders and his weaving under, settled around your waist.

“We’ll always be cool, Finn. It’s going to take more than that.”

“Yeah?” he smiles happily. “Good, because I missed you so kriffing much. I have so much to tell you.”

“And I want to hear it, but first,” your mouth tips up into a smirk. “Can I kiss you now?”

Finn’s eyes widen in shock and he makes a bunch of noises – broken, flustered syllables and consonants, his eyelashes fluttering in disbelief. He’s sunk into his relief so readily, that he must have forgotten entirely to entertain the idea you might like him back.

Your hands trail all the way down his toned arms, until you slowly fold his hands into yours, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “Play it cool, Finn,” you tease, giving him a quick wink.

He schools himself, and even as you notice a hard swallow bob down his throat, and he lets out a long, slow exhale of breath through the circle of his lips, he makes use of his classic bravado. At least, for long enough to get some coherent strings of words out.

“Yes please. Y-yeah. Kiss me. You... should do that.”

Too many words.

So, you inch forward, and you press a fleeting, light, chaste kiss to his impossibly soft lips. Just enough to shut him up, before dipping your head back, giving him time to respond.

He looks at you sweetly, in shock for a moment, but, before you know it, his lips are chasing yours with a whole new confidence, and his mouth twitches-up in a smile as he meets you again. This time, the kiss is not fleeting. This time, it is drawn-out; a slow, sensual, gradually deepening thing. He hums against your mouth, the sound low and reverberating through you, and, as the kiss grows, his broad hands slowly and safely lower you down against the cockpit floor, arranging his jacket under you so that your skin needn’t touch the cold metal - only his warmth.

When you break for air, he settles himself over you, strong arms holding him up, his eyes shining with disbelief and adoration. He looks at you in a way that says – yes, you may have been his first friend, but that, maybe, you could be his first love as well.

As he gazes down at you, your hands wind up around the back of his head, skimming lovingly over his textured, raven hair, and readying to pull him back down to you, eager to drink more of him in. To feel more of his skin against yours. However; you are cruelly interrupted by a harsh sequence of beeps, indicating that the door is finally unlocked. Finn briefly twists his head over his shoulder, confirming with a look.

“Power’s back on- we can get out of here now,” you say breathily from under him. 

“Nah,” he says, with a subtle smirk and a shake of his head, apparently not wanting to move anywhere that would shift his warm body from on top of yours. “I think we should stay here a little longer, how about you?”

“Fine by me, Finn,” you agree quickly, beaming back at him, like the moon reflecting sunlight, basking in his warm glow.

His eyes narrow for a moment, searching yours, and he rolls you both on to your sides, your thigh coming to land over him, and his warm hand begins to stroke you there, as his sweet, languid kisses continue to find you in succession, his breaths coming more quickly, his need unravelling. “Is this okay?” he asks, pausing momentarily to skim his thumb over your cheek and down under your chin. “How are you feeling?”

While Finn seems relatively calm and sure right now, you are suddenly feeling like jelly. “Shaking. Nervous,” you admit, your words trembling out of you.

He nods a little, like he could tell. Maybe he could feel you tremble against him, or maybe it’s deeper than that. Maybe it’s the Force. You certainly feel like something deep and powerful is eddying between you.

“It’s okay,” Finn promises softly, his voice breath, and planting a small kiss to the tip of your nose. “If you want to keep going, I’ll be here to hold you.”

Your eyes shine with happy tears, and this time, when you drag him enthusiastically to your lips, your legs wrapping more tightly around him, you know that you need not be nervous at all. It has always felt right whenever he reached for you, ever since the beginning; and now is no exception. It is so much more than him holding you physically – you feel safe in his arms in every way you could.

You had missed him so deeply, not only because you have a huge crush on him right back, but also because he is your friend. And while he may not have been your first? He is certainly your best.

Finn is your sunshine, and you are endlessly pleased to have him back; to see him shining.

[thesolotomyhan]

Narcos México: Dating Them Would Include: (1/7)

Alright,,, so I gave in and I just said fuck it. I was feeling bold when I decided to to upload this because I have so much doubt about this😅. This is my first time ever writing. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! I started off my with tontín and if all goes well, I’ll start writing the rest! :)

BTW: I’m sorry I couldn’t add a keep reading link, I’m using the mobile app as of right now because I’m in the process of getting a new laptop!

Warnings: NSFW! 

Amado:

Let’s start with El Señor De Los Cielos,

Amado is always one to flex, ever since your first date, it was his priority to end the date with you wanting more of him and leaving the impression that no one will treat you as good as he will

And although he did succeed in his goals, he was the one counting down the minutes until your next date, you had him in the nubes, girl

I shit you not, he went to buy you an engagement ring after your first date because he just knows that you’re the one he’s gonna marry and have kids with- I’m sobbing

So it obviously doesn’t take long for you guys to be official

He loves taking you out for dinner

You cannot convince me otherwise that he would not go all out for y’all’s personal dates, like roses everywhere, with mood lighting and a pinche serenata,,, like cmon, you make him SOFT

He would not do this for anyone other than YOU

If you wanted to go on a date or just go somewhere, he’s already dragging you along to one of his planes

Acosta probably roasts Amado so much but he does not care, not when you have him wrapped tightly around your finger

When he’s away on Juarez business, he’s calling you every night, just to hear your voice

Ugggh, you let him rant about the stupid shit everyone did that day because you just know your Amado is tired and needs someone to listen

When he comes back from business, he always brings you something just to see you smile

He gives you the softest kisses! Forehead kisses are a must

Ugggh,, I also see him stargazing with you, like you’re in between his legs with his arms wrapped around you and there’s times where he has Chalino Sanchez going on in the background

When Miguel throws any type of party or Amado just feels like going to the club, he’s taking you with him and always having an arm around you at all times

He HAS to be leading you around the party and introducing you to everyone, godddd, he addresses you to everyone like

“Mira, les presento a mi mujer, la reina de Juárez”

Like, damnnn

I can imagine , like you getting up to get a drink while he talks with the others and he’s pulling you back asking where you’re going with like worried eyes

“Voy agarrar una bebida”

“No, mi reina, yo te lo agarro, siéntate”

Everyone of the guys teasing the shit out of him but he’s just all like, “ustedes no saben que es el verdadero amor, hijos de la chingada”

But they’re not gonna lie, they all respect you and enjoy your presence

Even though he doesn’t like you knowing or being involved in depth about his business, he doesn’t mind you sitting with him during any kind of meeting talk inside of the clubs

Your just curled up into his chest with your drink, minding your own business

That,, or you’ll wander off but not before Amado orders a couple of his men to keep an eye on you

I’m swooning, can you imagine bringing him food to the construction site because you just know he hasn’t eaten all day

The fucking smile he has when he sees you because he literally forgets all the pendejadas and stress he has

LORd,, you know when Acosta was talking about retiring and living a normal life with Mimi,, can you imagine like he’s trying to convince Amado to do the same with you,,

I can’t,, and Amado just looking at where your talking with Mimi or something and just the fucking heart eyes he has because it does sound like a good idea

But, we all know, you can’t just retire from this business :((((((

Look, this man would triple your security after he learns what happened to Güeritos family because of the deal he made with Pacho and what if Miguel were to find out sooner

He’s gonna take his precautions to protect his queen alright, pero discretamente, he doesn’t want to alarm everyone especially Felix

Ooooh myyyy, why do I see him building you a home secretly, like he says he’s going to do handle some shit in Juarez on his day off but in reality he’s building a home for you two🥺🥺

The day he surprises it with you, he’s all like

“Es nuestra casa, mi reina, te gusta?”

Your just so speechless because you cannot believe this man would go all out for you.

“Mira, allá podemos construir un parquecito o cancha de fútbol para los chamacos o algo, no se, y acá te hice un jardín, ven”

GOD, he’s like a happy puppy showing you all the things he built and is still planning, and you just start crying because your so happy that he wants to build a family with you,, ok I’ll stop, my heart hurts, I’m so soft for Amado

Can you imagine the day you finally get preganant tho,,, just the fucking smile and adoration he has when he sees you doing literally anything

His heart is about to burst when he sees the curve of your belly grow because he did that, your carrying his child

Just the orgullo he has for you both and don’t get me started on how he overprotective he gets because he has a kid on the way-

Overall, your relationship is so cute and strong and just full of pure fucking love

NSFW:

Alright, here we go you nastys

This man LOVES blowjobs especially when he’s had a rough day, so naturally you welcome him home with a surprise

You’re wearing one of his favorite lingeries because he’s always buying you them

And, you know, once he walks in through the door, you’re already waiting for him

“Y Ahora, chula?”

“Te quiero ayudar a relajar, mi amor”

as you drag him to sit down by his belt

God,, I can just picture him on the couch with his head thrown back and one of his hands tangled into your hair as he desperately thrusts into your mouth

“Puta Madre”

As he looks down at you just full blown mesmerized

When he gets frustrated over the dumb things he has to put up with, like the time Miguel accepted to transport 70 tons of coke 👀,,,, you best believe he’s gonna take it out on you in the bedroom

You know like giving you rough and needy kisses as he picks you up and heads towards your bedroom

You’re working on unbuttoning his shirt as he’s basically tearing off whatever your wearing

I can see him wanting to caress your body and take his time but god damn his lust is getting the better of him and your only encouraging him more when you grind your hips on his OOOF

One of his favorite positions is having your legs spread as far as they can and wrapping one of his hands around your throat,,, he loves the sight of it

He does not go slow and soft ok, Amado is going in rough and pounding you into next week

When he’s feeling especially rough and dominant, he’s taking you from behind and pulling your own hair

Always scolding you if you try to keep quiet,,, he’ll do those slow but really rough thrusts just so you can whimper something out until he has you screaming

He once made the mistake of inviting Acosta to sleep over one day because of business and it was the first and last time Amado will ever do that

He had you screaming out his name as he fucked you into the bed that night,,

Amado had forgot he had guests over

So the next day when he’s having a drink with Acosta out in the patio in the morning, it’s the first thing Pablo brings up

“ cabrón, iba a llamar a los paramédicos anoche, pensé que estabas matando a tu mujer” he says it so irritated too

Amado is just like,, confused at first and looking weirdly at him because like tf is he talking about??

“ Será un milagro si no la dejas embarazada, tontín”

That’s when it comes together and Amado is trying to pathetically explain

“No cabrón, yo no quiero saber como se la metes” while he’s like laughing at Amados expression

You’re always pulling on his hair whenever he’s going down on you or pounding into you and he loves it because then he knows he’s doing a good job

He also loves it when your scratching down his back and leaving evidence of your night spent together

He’s always down to leave marks on you but in discrete areas, he’s not one to flaunt about your private lives

God, when this man takes you on vacations to places around the world, you best believe that he’s fucking you, either on the plane, at the place y’all are staying or even at the hidden beaches he’ll take you

He wants to make your vacations memorable and tbh, you two are like horny teenagers

THE CHAIN, y’all know the virgin chain he has on,, girl, he’s dicking you down and your holding onto that for dear life as you pull him down for a messy kiss,, yeah, I’m going to hell😅

He definitely has a thing for you when you wear his black shirts, whether it be the morning after or you just pulled it out of the closet and felt like wearing it

He thinks you look so beautiful wearing his clothes,,,,, he’s also had you wear only his shirt when you two have sex at times because, wow what a sight,,,, you, his reina wearing his things- ugh

He also makes sure to leave you satisfied before he has to go fly somewhere,

He has to have a fresh memory of his cock sliding in and out of you as your writhing below/above him

A refresh of what your moans and facial expressions are so he has them freshly engrained into his memory

Okkkk,,, Your just so damn perfect to this king

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode 9: Jack in the Box Jesus

View on Google Docs

Summary: September 1, 2015 - An alleged sighting of the Lord & Savior at a downtown fast food restaurant has the residents of King Falls ready for deliverance, meanwhile Sammy & Ben try to navigate the flood waters of this revelation.

[podcast intro music]

Mayor Grisham Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that while it is a terrible inconvenience that our modern electronics are out— this is not the end of the world. It could be a refreshing change of pace! Instead of reading, on your tablet, go down to the King Falls library, and check out the real thing! Instead of texting your BFF, go enjoy some pancake puppies at Rose’s! and have a face-to-face chat. This isn’t as bad as it seems— and it could be a blessing in disguise.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy Good morning guys and dolls, you’re listening to King Falls AM—

Ben —That’s 660 on the radio dial.

Sammy And this is day 13 of what has been dubbed the King Falls Electrolocaust.

Ben This has easily been the hardest two weeks of my professional career.

Sammy It has been tough, but Ben and I want to thank you, and everyone out there listening, for the continuing support of the show.

Ben We got another doozy of a show for you tonight, King Falls. During hour two, we’ll be interviewing Maria Chandler, manager of the King Falls Apple store, and speaking about the effects the shut down has had on business.

Sammy As well as fielding your calls and talking about whatever’s clever this evening.

Ben I miss computers, Sammy. I miss the schedule. Our automated systems, my alarm clock. I’ve went through three the legal pads in two weeks!

Sammy [sympathetic] I know, buddy.

Ben I would literally watch Channel 13 if given the chance.

Sammy Wow. That’s saying a lot.

Ben [softly] I need my life back.

Sammy King Falls, how are you taking the modern electronic shut down of 2015? Are you refreshed? Reliving the mid-90s? Or— are you falling apart like our dear Ben Arnold?

Ben I’d listen to boy bands, to have a working smartphone. I’d wear, puka shell necklaces and sell my pog collection,[1] if you give me five minutes with my email.

Sammy Look on the bright side, Ben. You’re spending all your free time down at the library, and I haven’t called you out on it!

Ben That’s calling me out on it.

Sammy Eh-Well- and you know it’s nice hearing the birds tweeting instead of @kingfallsam. I’m not saying I don’t miss it but, I’m enjoying this a little bit.

Ben ♫It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with yoouu♫[2]

Sammy The references are not gonna bring back your goods.

Ben [hurt] Dammit Sammy, let’s just take a call from our jury-rigged phone system.

[bg music being provided by Chet’s record player]

Sammy You’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Cynthia Yeeaah, I wanna talk about the outages.

Sammy Cynthia Higgenbaum, ladies and gents. How are you doing during this electronic crisis?

Cynthia [blissful] I feel the warm embrace of the chastity belt that’s been placed on society. I’m relieved, de-stressed, marvelous!

Ben *chuckling* Whoa, heh, that’s- that’s a heck of a change!

Cynthia [suddenly aggressive] What are you trying to say, Ben?

Sammy It’s just you’re usually- you’ve been a little… pessimistic in the past.

Cynthia [mostly calm again] Ohhh, I still have problems; I’m full up with issues. But right now, I don’t have to worry about what websites my husband is perusing, what brain-dead TV my kids are watching— I’m at peace! It’s just me and my harlequin novels. Plus, with Jesus back and all—

Ben [jokingly suggestive] 50 Shades of Cynthia

Cynthia [angrily] Don’t be filthy Ben Arnold! I Know Your Mother!

Sammy I-I’m sorry, Cynthia— did you just say that Jesus is back?

Cynthia [gossipy tone] Have you guys not heard the news?

Ben Is she talking about Jesus Jesus?

Cynthia There’s only one.

Sammy Wellll, I think Mexico would disagree, but please tell us why you think Jesus—

Cynthia [snappy] I don’t think Sammy, I know! [softer] Earlier this evening, he was spotted glowing and speaking in tongues at Jack in the Box.[3]

Ben The one off Main Street or Red Oak Avenue?

Cynthia Ew, nobody does to Red Oak.

Sammy [softly] Jack-in-the-Box-Jesus.

Cynthia Oh, Hell no! I will not participate in that blasphemy. You’re gonna get smited—

Sammy Oh, I- I mean- I wasn’t- I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to, uh—

Cynthia Tell it to Satan! In Hell, Sammy! [hangs up forcefully]

[dial tone]

Ben This is big.

Sammy [slightly reluctant] If you or someone you know has had a sighting of *clears throat, Ben laughs* Jack in the Box Jesus please give us a call. Uh, 424-279-3858

Ben You’re on King Falls AM.

Deputy Troy Now I know what you’re thinking: how could the second coming of God’s only son happen and ol’ Troy here didn’t clue you in.

Ben Not what I was thinking.

Sammy What do you know Troy?

Deputy Troy Well I got a suspicious persons call out at ol’ Yack[sic] in the Box around 9. So, I hit the lights and cruised over to see what the fuss was about. And lo and behold, back by the dumpster with a mess of people looking on— there he was.

Sammy Now, are you really telling us that— [still reluctant] you saw, or, you believe you saw the son of God and the King of Kings bangin around outside the Jack In The Box?

Deputy Troy Well, he was a man. Somebody’s son, no doubt. Bearded. Good lookin’, if-if you’re into that sort of thing. He had a robe on—

Ben [cutting in]We can solve this right now. Was he white or was he black?

Deputy Troy He was more of a greenish color. Like a glow really.

Sammy The man had an aura around him.

Deputy Troy It was shinier than a damn Fukushima foxhound, fellas. Like, I felt a need to put on the old aviators, but I- I didn’t want to be cliché.

Sammy Alright, Troy. So, work with us here; you’re in the back of the Jack in the Box, there’s a uh, a Jesus-type guy—

Deputy Troy Just-a-ramblin’ on.

Ben Speaking in— tongues?

Deputy Troy Speaking in somethin. The last time I heard gibberish like that was comin’ from the back of my Chevy with Shell Snyder’s daughter.

Sammy So what happened next?

Deputy Troy Well a group of looky-loos had descended, as I said, and since it was only me, there was no perimeter set up yet. So I start ta approach this glowing Christ and somebody— Roy Higgins if you gotta know/— hollered out “It’s Jesus!” and the whole parking lot just went bonkers!

Ben Well, di-did you speak to the guy?

Deputy Troy Damn skippy. I told Roy that this was official police biz. And he shouldn’t be squawling around like a little baby.

Ben No, Jack in the Box Jesus.

Deputy Troy Oh, well no. I- I turned around and he was gone. Split right off into the woods, I suspect.

Sammy Did you follow him?

Deputy Troy Sammy. So you’re tellin me that you’d follow a 6-foot-tall and glowing perp into the woods??

Sammy [muttered] Point taken.

Ben So any other sightings?

Deputy Troy Well, not as of yet. But there were so many people they could’a had a revival in that parkin’ lot. So I’m guessin’ that’s how word spread so quickly. And without internet, too? That’s pretty damn impressive.

Sammy Is there an APB out or anything?

Deputy Troy For what, dilly-dallying around with a jumbo jack? He wasn’t doin nothin bad. Just acting a fool— Lord forgive me— where he shouldn’t’a been.

Ben And glowing.

Deputy Troy That’s right.

Sammy Well, please let us know if get any more info on this, Troy. We’d appreciate it.

Deputy Troy You bet. I’ll be sure to keep you boys and the listenin’ public informed. But if you should happen to stumble upon Jesus? Do not approach, bother or pester. You just call up Ol’ Deputy Troy.

[hangs up]

Ben …or your local church. [dial tone]

Sammy Deputy Troy, ladies and gents. Now we’re just going to take a quick break and hear from one of our new sponsors: Carl’s Candy!

Ben Yeah I don- I don’t think we should play this

Sammy What? Ads pay the bills remember?

Ben Folks, as a workaround with all the tech issues, uh, I went out and recorded a few spots of some of our sponsors- uh, new and old. Emphasis on Old, after this one.

Sammy Okay, so the audio is bad.

Ben *sucks in breath* You could say that.

Sammy This company’s paid up! They’re scheduled in one of your many notebooks. Let’s do this. We’ll be right back folks.

[slow, creepy xylophone music]

Carl [voice is soft and creepy, like you expect from a guy who offers kids candy from the back of a van] Do you know why they call it a blow pop? I sure do. And if you come on down to Creepy Carl’s Candy, I’ll fill ya up! I mean in. [whispering] It’ll be our little secret.- A sweet tooth is a terrible thing to waste. Come find a new sugar daddy to butter your fingers at Creepy Carl’s! Come in and grab a sack of Carl’s Boston baked beans while you’re at it. Oops, one fell in my pocket. Free if you can find it! *Ben groaning “oh no”* Every child’s welcome at Creepy Carl’s, big mouths, small mouths, white mouths and brown mouths. We’re equal opportunity! And just cause they shut down the ol’ brick and mortar doe’n’t mean you can’t buy it from my van. Be sure to ask your parents’ permission first, kids. Creepy Carl’s Candy, where the suckers don’t suck themselves. [Police sirens]

Deputy Troy [through megaphone] Carl, turn off your ignition. You are too close to the school zone.

Carl I gotta go! Catch ya later [tires squealing]

Ben [desperate, in bg] The mic!

[sirens fade out]

Sammy … Never again.

Ben I tried to tell you.

Sammy I know. Let’s never speak about this.

Ben [whispering] I need a shower.

Sammy *sigh* …Moving forward, we were just talking about a sighting that happened a few hours ago around the 9 o’clock hour, just off Main Street. It seems quite a few people believe that we may be experiencing a religious phenomenon. Perhaps the second coming of–

Ben [slightly gruff impression] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years!”[4]

Sammy *chuckles* Right, let’s go to the phone lines.

Ben [happily] That was good though right?

Sammy It was good. Good evening, you’re live on King Falls AM.

Reverend Hawthorne Ask and ye shall receive! King Falls-uh. It is the gooD Reverend Xavier “Right. With. Gaawwd-uh” Hawthorne.

Ben Reverend Hawthorne? Are you back in town?

Reverend Hawthorne [speaking over Ben] The One and Only, and we are turnin’ the wagons arounD as we speaK-uh. And we’re headin’ back to my flocK-uh. How’re y’all feelin’ tonighT, King Falls- I said How are you, Feelin’!

Sammy [softly] We’re feeling alright.

Reverend Hawthorne Praise GoD-uh! Hallelujah! Now a little birdie, uh-just chirp’n on my shoulder, told me there was a SighTing. A Vision. Dare I say it, eyeballs were laid on our Lord and Saviour at a burger joint in our fair city.

Sammy Yeah, about 9 o’clock here.

Reverend Hawthorne Could it Be-uh! that our 5-week-revival worked. Could it Be-uh! that our prayers have been brought forth the lamb of God-uh. Can I get an amen!

Ben Reverend Hawthorne we—

Reverend Hawthorne Amen! This miracle-uh, this sight from our God-uh, perched on a Mountain of Sanctity, says that he is ready to lead-uh, his most Highly Favored, Congregation bacK to the promised land. Gimme some organ, Deacon Reggie [organ music begins playing in bg]

Sammy [aside] Do you think Reggie has to wheel that thing around just in case?

Ben This is getting good.

Reverend Hawthorne Play it dirty, brother. We are going Home-uh. Take us back to Calvary, take us BACK-uh! … Samuel, Benjamin may I ask you gentlemen if you have a relationship-uh with the Author of the E-ternal Sal-vation; [organ goes silent] [softly] are ya saved?

Sammy I’m—

Reverend Hawthorne Then let me tell y’all, [organ starts again] because if you aren’t-uh, I’m coming back to town. One weekend only, the Xavier “Right with GoD-uh” Hawthorne Experience will be wheelin’ bacK into King Falls Fairgrounds this very night-uh. We are hoping to get One- On- One with the Risen Christ and start preparin’ for Kingdom Come. But just like old Xavier, you gotta come on down-uh so we can get you TurnT uP With GoD-uh. [click, dial tone]

Sammy Xavier? Hello?

Ben He’s, gone. Sammy.

Sammy Well, you heard it here first folks. Xavier Hawthorn’s Travelling Roadshow is coming back to town. Will Jack in the Box Jesus make his stage debut?

Ben [muttering] Tch- Jesus.

Sammy Literally.

Ben Do you think we could get an interview? Would it be Mr. Christ? Or-

Sammy Something tells me that there is something more to the story than what we’ve heard so far, Ben.

Ben Tsk. I get that, but this is King Falls, Sammy.

Sammy What a perfect place to make a return: a rinky-dink town with no internet.

Ben Line- [muttered] dammit, there’s only one line. Uh, you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Archie Good evenin’ fellas!

[small dogs barking in bg]

Sammy Is thi-

Archie It’s Archie Simmons!

Ben He-ey Archie, how’s Princess Von Barktooth?

Archie Well, I do have news concernin’ the princess, and I just want to possibly recant some info from our previous call a few weeks back.

Sammy About the werewolves?

Archie Correct.

Sammy Wow. I mean, you sounded pretty convinced that you saw a werewolf.

Archie And now I’m saying that maybe I was misinformed.

Sammy I think you should probably tell Troy and the Sheriff’s Office, Archie.

Archie *giggles* You silly Sally, Troy’s on his way over now

Ben Why the change of heart, Archie?

Archie Well, new information has come to light boys, I mean with the Divine One making his triumphant, and let’s be honest, dramatic return to King Falls.

Sammy You’re talking about the glowing man at the Jack in the Box?

Archie [softly] Let’s be real here, it’s the J-Man, of course a heavenly carpenter would pick King Falls. So many projects to keep busy with.

Sammy [dryly] Uh-huh.

Archie Plus, with the princess and this new information, we have to believe this.

Ben You keep saying that, what’s going on with the princess Archie?

Archie She’s in a delicate condition.

Sammy Oh, of course. I mean she’s been through a lot.

Archie *giggles* No Sammy, I mean she’s with child. Ch-children. Puppies? There’s a bun in my $2400 oven boys!

Sammy Wait. She’s pregnant? From the werewolf attack?!

Archie [softly again] Well, that’s the thing. While I believed in my heart of hearts that the hillbilly beast from the trailer park had gotten to the princess, I think…

Ben What. What do you think Archie?

Archie I mean it was dark, I know it was a full moon but I was scared and recently awakened, sleep in my eyes etc. and so on.

Sammy You don’t think it was the werewolves.

Archie I’m thinking with this new evidence and the fact that I saw a long-haired, bearded man in a Biblical Act— Yeah I-I- I think- there’s a chance it could have been [whispering] the man upstairs.

Ben [stern] Upstairs from whom?

Archie Mankind! Come on Ben, get with the picture!

Sammy He’s saying that because there’s been a holy sighting tonight- which we should all be a little bit doubtful of- then maybe it wasn’t the werewolves, but the Alpha and the Omega.

Ben No! NO WA- That’s too much, Archie. You saw the werewolf. He looked you in the eye and howled at the moon.

Archie I don’t know what kind of weird things Jesus is into.

Ben No way. This is ludicrous.

Archie You just wait and see Ben! The princess may have lost her Westminster dreams, but it was all part of God’s plan.

Ben We’ve got to go Archie *laughs* you’re crossing a line that we cannot cross at King Falls AM.

Archie Judge Not, lest ye be judged boys. Kardashians[sic] 3:16 or a Psalm or something. I think Troy’s coming around the bend anyways boys, laters!

[click, dial tone]

Sammy You know? When I walk in the door every night I say to myself, “Nothing’s gonna surprise me tonight” And more times than not, I am just Dead Wrong.

Ben Let’s give the phone a rest for a moment, Sammy, the record player is just begging to be used.

Sammy *chuckles* Not a bad idea Ben.

[phone pings]

Ben What? *gasps* My phone! [several pings] OHH it’s back baby!

Sammy Me too! What’s going on?

[pinging continues]

Ben What’s up! Oh my God, I could literally kiss the apparition of Steve Jobs.

Sammy Hey, I’ve got a text here, Unknown Number.

Ben Okay, what does it say?

Sammy “I- I know why this happened. I know how to stop it. We need to talk“

Ben What?

Sammy No, that’s what the text said.

Ben You don’t think this has anything to do with… Thank You, Jesus.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References:

[1] Pogs - Pogs, generically called milk caps, is a game that was popular among children during the early-mid 1990s. The name pog originates from POG, a brand of juice made from passionfruit, orange, and guava; the use of POG bottle caps to play the game preceded the game's commercialization.

[2] “It’s tearin’ up my heart when I’m with you” - Lyrics to the song “Tearin’ Up My Heart” by NSYNC, an American boy band from the mid-90s

[3] Jack in the Box - American fast food chain, primarily along the west coast and southern states.

[4] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years” - lyrics to the song “Mama Said Don’t Knock You Out” by LL COOL J (also came out in the 90s)

[girlbabyvelez]

Hasta La Muerte // Chapter Five

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Swearing, Violence, ya know murder, sexual harassment (not from one of our boys tho), and thats it??

@cnchoe-imagines (aka the best person ever) made me this movie poster for Hasta La Muerte. And I am soooo grateful. Thank you for this amazing bomb poster Tati. I literally love it with my whole ass heart. So please go check our her blog and give her love (im crying) I love you so  much Tati.

His dark eyes focused on your picture, looking over your features as he thought about his next move. He needed to do something to you that would scare you and a little threat wouldn't hurt you. Santiago stood up from his desk, one his hands picking up the picture of you before looking up at the two men in front of him.

"¿Cuál es el plan, jefe?" Paulo asks, linking his hands in front of his body ready to hear the order of his boss. Santiago looked between Sergio and Paulo for a moment, making sure he picked the right men for the job, then looked down at your picture before throwing it back onto the desk.

"Warn her. We need to scare her, and warn Richard not to mess with us." Santiago orders.

~

You step back into the room, gently closing the door behind you. You spin on your heels and see Christopher, his back leaning against the head of the bed and his fingers pulling at Aaliyah's stuffed animal. He was aware of your presence but he kept his focus on the toy in front of him.

"She has the cutest laugh." He whispered with a smile. You shake your head and let out a laugh, making your way over to the bed.

"She does." You reply. You were surprised how good Christopher was with Aaliyah, mostly because of everything he did with the mafia. "You treat her like she's your own," You say, crawling up on the bed until you were able to rest your head on his legs. Your words cause him to pause his movements, taking that moment to look down at you before shifting his focus back to the toy.

"I wish she was," He mumbled, hoping you didn't hear him but you heard the words loud and clear. You freeze in his lap and think of your next words, you didn't want to put either of you in this situation.

"You want kids?" You ask him, lifting yourself from his lap and into a sitting position. Christopher looks up at you and drops the toy on the bed. He grabs onto your hands and looks at you, oblivious to the fear and dread running through your body. You couldn't raise a child in the dangerous life that Christopher lived, they would be destined to follow in his footsteps and you knew how hard it was for you to get out of that life.

"Yeah. I can't wait until I have a little baby Velez in my arms. But I want three kids and all of them would be the perfect babies." He answers. You noticed the smile he got when he said he wanted a little baby Velez and your heart shattered for him. "¿Y tú?"

"Chris..." You begin. You honestly didn't know where to begin, you wanted to make this deal work for your brother but you couldn't destroy Chris' dream either. You opened your mouth to finish responding to his question, break the truth to him when you heard the light knocks on the door and Aaliyah's sobs. You let out a sigh of relief now that you had time to gather your thoughts, getting off the bed and opening the door. Aaliyah stood there with tears rolling down her face and her arms outstretched towards you. You scooped up the young girl in your arms and rub her back for comfort.

"Papi," She cried out, her head resting on your shoulders, your heart broke for her.

"He'll be here soon mamas. Want to sleep with me?" You ask her, moving your head from her back to her hair and twirling it in your fingers. You could feel her nod her head so you turn back towards the bed, avoiding Chris' gaze and crawling under the covers with Aaliyah.

"Y/N," Chris whispered and adjusted himself so he was laying next to Aaliyah, an arm reached over her and caressing yours.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow." You tell him and bring the girl closer to your body, humming a song to help her sleep. Christopher ran his hand over your arm to silently communicate with you, but you just ignored him and focused on the girl in your arms.

~

His dark brown eyes were the only visible part of his face, the mask was wrapped around his face and his hair was hanging in front of his face, hiding his identity. Yashua held the gun tightly in his right hand, finger hovering over the trigger.

"Do it," Romeo taunted. He had dry blood matted to his hair and fresh blood pouring out of his nose, his face was different shades of blue and purple. He was on his last legs, but he was never going to give up the information that he held. He wasn't going to give up the plan that Santiago had in mind for them, he would take it to the grave. At his words, Yashua quickly leaned up and pressed the gun harshly against Romeo's temple. It had been one week since Romeo had been locked up in the room, legs and arms chained to the chair, and yet he hadn't given up any information. He was fucking useless to them now.

"Any last words?" Yashua questions, shoving the gun harder into his temple. Romeo winced at the action, the gun digging into a bruise he had. But he only did it for a second before he smirked at Yashua.

"Santiago is going to kill all of you. I promise you that."

~

"Pa' arriba pa' abajo pa' centro pa' dentro!" You shouted, clinking the shot glasses with Lydia's and Tatianna's before you all down your shots. The alcohol burned your throat as it went down but it felt good to be able to let go for the night with your closest friends. You would have to face Christopher soon, after successfully avoiding him for a week and drowning yourself in work. But that wasn't a worry for tonight, you just wanted to get dumb drunk to forget how badly you would disappoint your brother and hurt Chris.

"Let's go dance!" Tati shouted over the loud music, she managed to grab your wrist and drag you and Lydia to the crowded dance floor. You shook your head and let a laugh out at your wild friends.

"Come on Y/N!" Lydia encouraged and began to shake her hips to the beat of the music. Tati nodded her head and copied Lydia's moves. You smiled at them before dipping your hips and shaking them side to side.

It felt like the three of you were there for hours, dancing to the music that blasted over the speakers, and belting out the lyrics when your songs came on. The worries seem to wash away with every sway you guys made. But you could feel the alcohol begin to wear off, and you needed more.

"Hey, guys! I'm going to go get us some drinks!" You shout to them over the beat of the music. They nod at you for a quick moment before turning back to their dancing. You managed to make it safely off the crowded dance floor, making your way over to the bar. You pull your phone out of your clutch, looking at the notification that immediately popped up.

Chris: Can you come over tonight? We need to finish our conversation from last week.

You ignore the message and shove the phone back into your clutch. No worries for tonight, just letting go. And that's when it happened. You were leaning against the bar, ordering another round of drinks for you guys, when you felt the hands slide up your thighs. Another pair of hands snaked around your waist and kept a firm grip on your hips, keeping you in place.

"Listen mamacita." You could hear him whisper in your ear.

"Get the fuck off me before I punch the both of you in your throat." You threaten them.

"Remember our names, so you can tell your brother Paulo and Sergio are here as a warning." One of them whispers. The other leans over to you, lips next to your ears and hands still on your ass.

"Sleep with one eye open mamacita because now you and Richard are targets."

Note: guess who’s back? back again.  heyy guysss im backkk. i know I took a month away from writing, its been a rough month for me ngl but thank you to all those who checked up on me, you guys are the best. but now that I am back, I have all the content coming for you guys so stay tuned. 

Taglist: 

@cncloca @wowvelez @babecita-1 @yashuazbabygirl @getmealife @phanislife124 @valeriiaaass  @cyaneaa @codename-nyx @cnchoe-imagines @moonlitzabdiel@damnthoseyes  @disneydejesus @ourkarlanicoleuniverse @niallisworld @multi-fandomgoddess @california-creator @ ego-allie-bap

[walkerismychoice]

Everything’s Reminding Me of You - Part 1 (Logan x MC, Colt X MC)

Book: ROD

Pairing: Logan X MC, Colt X MC

Rating: PG-13

Summary: As Gabi drives off to college alone, she can’t help but think about the two loves she left behind.

Note: This chapter will be 2-3 parts and will wrap up my ongoing Logan X MC/Colt X MC series. I was going to do it all in one, but it would have been huge and I likely would have rushed to finish, so splitting it up was my best bet. Most of the dialogue comes from the book with some original dialogue to fit the scene and the altered storyline. This flips between past and present, and each memory has an accompanying song with Lyrics in bold. Thank you to @choicesarehard for helping me choose some of the scenes and songs.

Song Credits (In order): 1. Hello Beautiful - Noah Schnacky 2. You’re So Vain - Carly Simon 3. Ocean - Khalid and Martin Garrix 4. I Like It - Cardi B, Bad Bunny, J. Balvin 5. Fallin’ All In - Shawn Mendes 6. There’s No Way - Lauv and Julia Michaels   Spotify Playlist

Word Count: 4167

Gabi looks out over the horizon as the pop radio station signal starts to fade and realizes she’s getting further from civilization. Less than 2 hours into a multi-day drive, she’s questioning her decision to attend college on the literal opposite side of the country. She scans to find something that will come in and hears a familiar twang.

“Why is country the only thing that comes in in the middle of nowhere?” She asks out loud. She’s about to find put on a Spotify playlist (thank God Toby had installed a sound system with bluetooth) when a new song comes on and the lyrics hit her like a punch to the gut:

I was eighteen when we first met / Couldn't believe how you took my breath / In your sweatshirt, your converse / You didn't even know you were rockin' my world

It was like it was written about her and Logan. The same age, even the same outfit she was wearing. She can’t help but let herself go back to that first day.

~~~

“Oof!” Gabi crashed to the ground and her books went flying. She wasn’t paying attention and ran straight into someone’s back. She looked up and suddenly all the blood in her body rushed straight to her cheeks. It was the extremely hot guy with the really expensive car she saw out the bus window. To make matters worse he had been talking with Brent, the rich stuck-up asshole who saw the whole thing. She was too busy being mortified to even pay attention to Brent’s jab at her.

The mysterious hot guy reached down to help her up. “You know, there are easier ways to get my attention.”

“I, uh..thanks.” She takes his hand and he easily pulls her to her feet. “I’m really sorry about running into you. It won’t happen again.” She could hardly look him in the eyes and she wasn’t sure if it was because she was so embarrassed or because he was so good looking. Probably both.

He cocked an eyebrow. “It won’t? Too bad.”

Her heart started to flutter in her chest. “I just got distracted, and then I didn’t--um--Sorry, but who are you?” She was so flustered she didn’t even think about how that question sounded.

The guy chuckled. “You cut right to the chase, don’t you?” The name’s Logan.

~~~

That’s where it all had started. The best and worst thing to ever happen to her. She had thought she was done crying but a single tear streams down her cheek as she remembers that day. She knows now the whole thing was a set-up, but as she thinks back to the way Logan looked at her, she’s certain at least a part of it had always been real.

She comes back to the present, focusing in on the words again and it only gets worse:

I tried to see you but your daddy wouldn't let me / He told you, you should just forget me / But what we had, was somethin' so real and / He didn't know, the way we feel /Oh-woah-woah-woah / And so I met you in the dark Oh-woah-woah-woah / Underneath the stars

Gabi quickly scans to another station because she’ll have to pull over and cry if she doesn’t, Logan’s goodbye still too fresh in her mind. She finally hits on something that sounds like classic rock, so she hopes that will be safe. Some song she doesn’t know is finishing up and then another comes on, one she knows this time:

You walked into the party / Like you were walking on a yacht /..../And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner / They'd be your partner, and You're so vain / You probably think this song is about you / You're so vain, / I'll bet you think this song is about you / Don't you? / Don't you?

It could make her think of any of the self-important snobs that went to her school, but she laughs because there’s only one cocky asshole this song brings to mind.

~~~

Gabi stood with her mouth agape at the side-show. She had never seen anything like it and was taking it all in.

“Looks like you’re in the wrong place, sweetheart.” She turned in the direction of the voice to see a guy with hair and eyes as dark as his black leather jacket leaning against a white motorcycle, arms folded like he owned the place. “You’re lost aren’t you?”

She narrowed her eyes at him and his patronizing tone. “Who wants to know?”

“Just wondering who you are trying to impress, looking like that.”

What was that supposed to mean? Did he like what he saw, or could he tell that she felt like a girl playing dress-up and trying to fit in? “I’m meeting...a friend.”

“Uh, oh. Sounds like you’ve fallen in with the wrong crowd.” The guy smirked. He was hot, but that didn’t excuse his jerkish behavior.

“Only since I started talking to you,” Gabi huffed, and he just laughed. “Look are you going to stand there being a jerk, or are you going to tell me what this place is?”

“I can multitask,” he answered smugly. “You’re looking at the biggest side-show in West L.A.”

“Side-show?”

“We get together, show off our rides a little. Do some stunts, some racing...make new friends, new enemies. You get the gist.”

Gabi rolled her eyes. “You must make all sorts of friends with that charming personality.”

“Hey, talk all you want, but I’m not the one who ditched my date like this.”

“Gabi, hey! There you are.” Logan jogged up and slipped his arm around her waist protectively.

“Ah, here comes the knight in shining armor now,” Colt assessed wryly.

Logan glowered at the leather jacket clad motorcycle rider. “Who’s this?”

“The guy who had to keep your little girlfriend company.” He answered in a challenging tone.

“Logan, he’s just giving me directions.” Gabi figured she’d never have to see this guy again, so she wanted to diffuse the situation before a fight broke out.

The guy and Logan exchanged words, but thankfully he decided to leave before any punches were thrown. He swung his leg over his motorcycle and winked at Gabi.  “See you around,” he added before revving his engine and gunning it out of there.

~~~

Gabi smiles as she listens to the rest of the song, belting out the chorus every time it comes on. Her initial assessment of Colt had been pretty spot on, and yet she’d grown to love him anyway.

She gets bored of that station and has difficulty getting much of anything to come in. “Screw it.” She says to herself because there’s no one else to talk to. If every song is going to remind her of them anyhow, she might as well embrace the pain. She selects ‘MPC’, the playlist she thought she’d never want to listen to again. Songs she’d compiled during her time with Logan, Colt and the crew. 

Tell me what you're crying for / I'll wipe your tears, oh love /If your soul is aching love / We'll comfort you for sure

“I’m not crying now, but I might be by the end of this song,” she muses out loud as the first song plays, and she thinks about where she was the first time she heard it.

~~~

Gabi sat on the hood of Logan’s devore GT leaning back on her hands, eyes closed, letting the warm late afternoon sun wash over her face. She’d just kicked ass during her driving lesson with Logan and was enjoying avoiding the normal stress of daily life for just a while. A slow song played from Logan’s car stereo, just loud enough for them to hear.

If we're caught in a wave, I will carry you over / It don't matter where you are, I'll run to your front door... You could put an ocean between our love, love, love / It won't keep us apart   

“Something’s on your mind. Is everything okay?” Logan asked, sensing something she had no idea she was making known. 

“Yeah just wondering if you play this song for every girl you bring to the beach. It’s pretty literal - wave, ocean....” Gabi teased.

Logan chuckled. “I promise this is just some random radio station. But really, is everything okay?

“You ever feel like two different people at once?”

Logan paused, pensively looking out at the sky. “I wish I could say yeah, that I’ve been there. But I’d be lying.”

“Maybe that’s just part of growing up.” Gabi turned her gaze to the ocean and then looked back at Logan, his eyes meeting her intensely. She leaned in closer and he met her halfway, caressing her cheek and kissing her sweetly in the light of the sunset. She pulled back, searching Logan’s face, trying to gauge his thoughts. Logan held her close and she rested her head on his shoulder as they looked out over the water, watching the sun go down.

Logan broke the silence after a while. “I’m glad you came with me. But I don’t want to cause any problems with your friends.”

“You won’t. I promise.” As much as she loved Riya and Darius, she figured they’d be happy to lose their third wheel every now and again. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you brought me out her to watch the sunset..but that would be way too romantic for you.”

“I can be romantic sometimes. Just don’t tell anyone.” Logan winked at her but then his face grew more somber. “I used to do this on hard days sometimes. Come out here and watch the waves roll in, the sun go down. Just to remind myself that the world was bigger than me. Bigger than my problems. The ocean made them seem pretty small.”

Gabi’s heart ached for Logan. She couldn’t begin to fathom what it was like to grow up the way he did and she was sure she didn’t even know the half of it. “Sometimes, I wish I could meet that kid you talk about and help him out. Or just hold him. Tell him he’s gonna grow up to be a really great guy.”

Logan sighed. “A great guy maybe... but not a good one.” 

When my head goes in different directions / You know my heart's never on the move / And in the dark times you don't have to question / If I'm a hundred with you

The sat back against the windshield in silence as the song played on and the sun fell fully over the horizon.

~~~~

At the time Gabi hadn’t understood what Logan meant by being a great guy maybe but not a good one. Now she understands why he thought that, but after all has been said and done, she knows it’s not true. Logan turned out to be one of the most amazing, selfless men she ever met, and she only hopes he can see that now, wherever he may be. 

You could put an ocean between our love, love, love / It won't keep us apart / You could build a wall, I would run it up, up, up (run it up) / Just to get to your heart / If we're caught in a wave / Baby, we'll make a way /  You could put an ocean between our love, love, love / It won't keep us apart

She’s wistful as the song finishes out, remembering the brief time she was naive enough to think no obstacle could come between them. Much to her relief, the next song elicits a happier memory.

Yeah, baby, I like it like that / You gotta believe me when I tell you /I said I like it like that / You gotta believe me when I tell you /I said I like it like—

~~~

"You've got taste, I'm stunned." The way Colt said it didn't quite sound like a compliment, but she'd take it over his typical insults. Gabi knew enough about popular hip hop songs to sing along, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't pick the station because she figured it was the type of music Colt liked. He was still such an ass but she couldn't help feeling a need to win him over.

Gabi heard the opening of 'I like it Like That' come on. She and Riya had sang and danced to that song in her room a hundred times. "You ain't heard nothing yet” she announce before jumping in on Cardi B's first verse:

'They call me Cardi Bardi, banging body, / Spicy mami, hot tamale / Hotter than a Somali, fur coat, Ferrari / Hop out the stu', jump in the coupe (the coupe) / Big Dipper on top of the roof / Flexing on bitches as hard as I can /Eating halal, driving the Lam' / Told that bitch I'm sorry though / 'Bout my coins like Mario (Mario) / Yeah they call me Cardi B, I run this shit like cardio / Oh, facts.'

'Woow, Gabi. Just wow." Colt shook his head and laughed, yet she didn't detect any sarcasm in his tone like she might have expected. There was almost some sort of affection there and she saw what appeared to be a genuine smile for the first time. Up to that point she hadn’t realized he had any other facial expressions aside from his scowl and his shit-eating grin.

"Kinda turned on right now." Mona added, and if Gabi had impressed her that was saying something.

"Sing with me guys," Gabi encouraged.

'Certified, you know I'm gang, gang, gang, gang (I said I like it like), Drop the top and blow the brains (I said I like it like that), she continued and only Toby, Mona and Ximena joined in.

'Oh he's so handsome, what's his name?' Gabi turned to Colt and pointed

Colt rolled his eyes but humored her and answered back: (I said I like it)

Everyone in the car burst out laughing and they sang along to every song the rest of the ride home.

~~~~

Gabi still has a big smile on her face until the next song starts,  and she gets melancholy once again. Sometimes some of the best memories can be the most painful.

~~~

Logan turned to Gabi while Darius and Riya playfully bickered across the table from them at the diner. "Thanks for inviting me to hang out.”

“Well, I’ve been ensnared in your world.. Thought you could get ensnared in mine.”

“It’s a nice change of pace for me. Calm.”

“I promise I won’t let you get too bored.” She did worry that this normal life seemed pretty lame in comparison to what he was used to.

“I never get bored. Matter of fact, I have an idea. Come with me.” Logan stood, offering Gabi a hand. He led her over to the jukebox and put a few quarters in. “Pick any song you want.”

Gabi perused the selection carefully. It looked like an old school jukebox, but had been updated with a bunch of newer songs in addition to the classics. She almost chose ‘What’s New Pussycat’ to make him laugh, but then one of her favorite songs caught her eye.

Logan cocked an eyebrow. “Shawn Mendes, huh? I bet you just like him because he’s cute.”

“Have you seen his body?” Gabi teased.

“Alright, that’s enough out of you. Shall we?” He asked, offering his hand.

“Dance? Right here, in the middle of the diner?” She looked at him skeptically but followed his lead anyhow. They swayed to the music, holding each other close.

Sunrise with you on my chest / No blinds in the place where I live / Daybreak open your eyes / 'Cause this was only ever meant to be for one night / Still, we're changing our minds here / Be yours, be my dear / So close with you on my lips / Touch noses, feeling your breath / Push your heart and pull away, yeah / Be my summer in a winter day love

“Is this what it’d be like? If I went to school? If I were a regular guy? Hang out in diners with you and Riya and Darius and fix DNA models?” There’ was a wistfulness to his tone she hadn’t expected.

Ooh, you know I've been alone for quite a while / haven't I? I thought I knew it all / Found love but I was wrong / More times than enough

“I know it’s not a glamourous life of money and thrills... but yeah.”  These things are so mundane to her, but she’d never thought about it from the perspective of someone who’d never had the chance to experience them firsthand.

Pretending to be normal feels surreal. It feels...dangerous.” Logan admits.

You are bringing out a different kind of me / There's no safety net that's underneath, I'm free / Falling all in

The significance of the lyrics at that very moment in time was not lost on Gabi, both of them showing each other how the other half lives, bringing out sides of one another they didn’t know they had. She’d never considered that getting to experience and get used to the idea of an average teenage life could feel just as ‘dangerous’ to Logan as hanging out with gang members and committing crimes was to her. “Normal can be overrated. Just look at me. I was living the same old boring life. I couldn’t wait to get out of every day until I met you.”

“How do you like me as a normal high school guy?”

Gabi pressed a long kiss to Logan’s lips as they spun around. “Does that answer the question for you?”

Logan smirked. “Not completely sure. Maybe answer it again so I can make sure I get it? You know, if you’re not too tired, we can still get you behind the wheel for some practice after this...”

“I’d like that.” Gabi stared into Logan’s eyes as they spun around the checkered floor, the song continuing in the background.

Every time I see you baby I get lost / If I'm dreaming, baby, please don't wake me up / Every night I'm with you I fall more in love / Now I'm laying by your side / Everything feels right since you came along / I'm thinking baby / You, yeah, are bringing out a different kind of me. / There's no safety net that's underneath, I'm free. / Falling all in / You fell for men who weren't how they appear (Ooh) / Trapped up on a tightrope now we're here, we're free / Falling all in

~~~

Gabi sighs as the song ends. As with so many things Logan said and did, looking back on them knowing everything now makes so much more sense. If she had to pinpoint an exact moment Logan started to give in and admit to himself his feelings were all real, she’d have to guess this night - letting himself long not just for a normal boring life, but that life with her, making the fact that he may never get that with anyone now hurt that much more.

It feels like Gabi has been driving for days but the clock tells her its been just over 3 hours, and she’s seeing literal tumbleweeds out her window. Her legs are all stiff, the gas is getting low, and she kind of needs to pee, but she’s determined to make it vegas. She groans wondering how she’s going to make it another hour but she perks up when the next song starts:

You touch me and it’s almost like we knew / That there will be history between us two...Trying to keep our feelings secretly covered  

She’d tried to fight the feeling for a while an she knew that he had too, but thinking back to that moment on the cliff, something had clicked and there would be no going back.

~~~

Colt’s blase, tough guy attitude about everything was getting to Gabi. Here they were overlooking the pacific ocean at sunset, vibrant streaks of pink, orange and yellow in the sky, and it was honestly one of the most magnificent things she’d ever seen. “You know, you don’t have to downplay everything. Sometimes it’s okay if something just takes your breath away.”

Colt turned, and held her gaze a moment too long. “Noted.”

The way his eyes took her in suggested they weren’t talking about the sunset anymore, and she felt her cheeks flush. “How’d you find this place?” Gabi asked, looking for any appropriate topic change.

“My pop brought me here when I was a kid. He’d make me jump off the cliff into the water.”

Gabi craned her neck to peer over the edge. “That’s a long way down for a kid...or me!”

Colt scanned his eyes over the water thoughtfully. “I think he was trying to teach me something. Courage? Trust? I dunno, I was just a scared kid flying through the air and into the deep. But maybe it worked. Because since then, whenever I needed a place to be at peace, I’ve come here.”

“Well...we didn’t just come up here to stare, right?”

“You wanna jump? Seriously?”

When Colt looked back to Gabi, she had already stripped down to her underwear. “Seriously!” Although the prospect of jumping from that height was still terrifying, there was something about Colt’s presence that made her bold.

“Okay, okay, you’ve made your point.” Colt removed his clothes to match her with only his boxer briefs left on. “I know what I’m in for. Do you?”

She didn’t. Not for the jump and not with Colt either, but she was ready to find out. “Nope. On the count of three...”

“One, two...three!”

They ran toward the edge together and Gabi grabbed Colt’s hand. He squeezed hers back just as they leapt into the air. “Aaahh!” Gabi screamed on the descent, finally plunging into the deep, cool water. They kicked their way up to the surface, still hand-in-hand.

Colt shook the water from his hair, a wide grin plastered on his face. “Man... I’d almost forgotten what it felt like.”

“See? Are you done downplaying everything?”

“...Maybe I am.”

But maybe we can hold off one sec / So we can keep this tension in check But there’s no way that it’s not going there / With the way that we’re looking at each other

Drifting together face to face, Colt’s eyes met hers with a heated intensity that made her forget how cold the water was. Something unspoken passed between them and they crashed into one another, Colt threading his fingers through Gabi’s hair and holding her close as they kissed each other hungrily.

I wish I could make the time stop / So we could forget everything and everyone / I wish that the time would line up / So we could just give in to what we want

Colt broke away without warning. “You’re with Logan. I shouldn’t do this to the crew.” Gabi started to respond, but before she could get the words out, Colt’s mouth was on hers again, kissing her hard and making her forget everything else. Treading water, Gabi tries to hold onto Colt, but he pulled away again. “Dammit, what’s wrong with me?”

“Look...things are complicated.”

“I don’t know what that means.” It wasn’t a question but he was still asking for an answer.

'Cause when I got somebody, you don't / And when you got somebody, I don't / I wish that the time would line up / So we could just give in

How could she explain that be he and Logan made her feel amazing things but it totally different ways. “I guess I don’t either. I’m only just now figuring out who I am. Logan’s part of that. But maybe you are too.”

Colt smirked, seemingly satisfied with the answer enough for now. “Well, maybe I can help you figure that out.” Knowing just what he meant, her lips met his again, and they kissed passionately, desperately, limbs intertwined as the bobbed in the waves until the last traces of the sun disappeared.

~~~  

The lyrics had it right. There was no way it was not going there, no matter how hard she’d tried to fight it. Every time she had been with Colt it was like time stood still and Logan didn’t exist. She wishes she could say she regretted getting herself into that mess, but that would mean regretting the good times with Colt, and she wouldn’t change those for anything.

Suddenly the combined emotions all seem to hit her at once and she needs a break, turning the music off completely. Maybe some silence will quiet her thoughts for a while.

[lindsaylouus]

Starlit Secret - Part 2/2

A/N: Part 2 gets a lil smutty, not gonna lie. The first part was a bit of an intro, so here’s the bulk of the story. Hope you enjoy! :) <3  There’s a nice bit of fluff in here too, for anyone that wants to stick around ;)

I made my decision. God I love Laila, and judging by his face, so did Seokjin.

He led you through a long corridor of plush carpet and oak doors. The mood had shifted from sultry and romantic, to rushed and frantic. You both finally stopped outside his room. Without a second thought, or glance to him, you entered. 

The view was breath-taking, almost as stunning as him, almost. The open window allowed a soft, cool breeze into the heated space. You continued to stare into the deep purple night, as you heard him close the door behind him.

After removing his suit jacket and throwing it onto the bed, he turned his attention to you. Repeating the scene from the balcony, sauntering forwards, cautiously. Whilst there was still space between you, before he could close the gap, you stopped him in his tracks. 

This is it, you thought to yourself. Taking a breath, you place both hands in front of you, halting him immediately. He knew exactly what you wanted him to do, and that was wait. 

You slipped each strap of your dress delicately off your shoulders. Pulling it down slightly, the fabric fell to the floor. Your bra joins it almost instantly. You turn your back to him, once again facing the night sky, the stars your only witnesses. Placing your hands either side of your hips, you push your underwear down to your ankles, keeping your legs straight. You bring your back up, remaining perfectly poised. You could feel the burn of his eyes on you.

There you stood, in all your glory, wearing nothing but your heels and necklace. 

Before you even think of turning back to face him, his large hands lace around you. You could sense his desperation to touch you, but his movements were calm and subtle. He stroked your exposed skin, giving you goosebumps. His nose traced a long line up your neck, his tongue followed suit. You move your head to the side allowing him more access, your eyes can’t help but capture the moment from your reflections in the window. 

His hand slid down your stomach and found your, now very wet, clit. His finger was moving in sinful circles, whilst his other hand massaged your breast, his mouth now latched onto your neck and teeth dug into your neck. 

You stand there unable to move, and not wanting to either, just gripped by intense pleasure. All you could muster was moving your hand to grip the back of his head, fingers tangled in his hair.

‘Seokjin,’ your breath heavy, ‘fuck me, please.’

The man did not need to be asked twice. He turned you around, lifted your chin and bore his eyes into yours.

‘Undress me.’ You’re impressed, he stumped you for a second.

Laila doesn’t falter though. Your naked and aroused body drops to its knees to untie and remove his shoes. You unbuckle and rip away his belt, pull down his zipper with your teeth and take off his trousers. 

Without breaking eye contact, you rise and tear open his shirt. You pushed it over his insanely broad shoulders, before returning to your knees to remove his underwear. Once he was completely exposed; you immediately take him into your mouth, holding his shaft firmly with your hand and manoeuvring your tongue expertly around his head. You suddenly take him in fully, then focus on the tip once again, repeating the motion whilst grabbing his ass. He tastes so good and his moans are music to your ears.

His hands were tangled in your hair, gripping on for dear life. Seeing the image repeated in the open window turned him on even more, but he was no where near done yet.

‘Get on the bed,’ he huffs heavily, gently pulling your mouth away from him.

Heavy breaths, sordid moans, pants and curses quickly filled the room as Seokjin slammed into you. He’d plunged in immediately, you wrap your legs tightly around his waist and latch onto those shoulders with your red nails. Bright pink scratches appeared on the surface of his skin. All the while, he left a constellation of licks, bites and kisses anywhere he could. 

Senses on overload, you could smell lust, feel him inside you, taste this tongue in your mouth and see more stars than you ever could in the night sky. That familiar, unstoppable tension was building at the core of your body. As your climax approached, Seokjin placed a hand around your neck and squeezed. That was it, you could now hear your own orgasm ricocheting off the walls.

Overcome by your noise, he pours into you uncontrollably, saying your name over and over again. It was the most beautiful symphony you could hope to hear. He never stops kissing you; eyes, lips, nose, cheeks, everywhere.

Quiet envelopes the once ignited room. The breeze bit at your sweating body. You lay beside him, under his arm, processing what had just happened. As he holds you, his breathing comes back to a more normal speed.

‘This is pretty,’ he says, moving your necklace between his thumb and forefinger.

His voice was no longer egotistical and confident, but light and playful.

‘It is, my boyfriend got it for me. It’s the constellation of Berenice’s Hair. Berenice cut off her hair to ensure her husband’s safety from a dangerous mission...’

He listened intensely, stroking your face softly as you spoke.

‘...He returned, so she fulfilled her promise to the goddess and placed her hair in Aphrodite’s temple. The hair disappeared, making the husband angry. But it was said that the goddess was so pleased with Berenice’s hair that she placed it into the sky.’ You stared down at the necklace, thinking of the person who gave it you.

‘Well, he clearly has good taste. You know, I bet he’s a really nice guy,’ Seokjin chuckled.

‘He is, but he can also be a complete dick. Someone who doesn’t realise that if we’re gonna pretend to be different people, that he should at least change his name!’ You’d been waiting all night to lay into him about this.

But, as you tried your best to be annoyed, you couldn’t stop laughing because he was laughing.

‘Oh y/n, your face when I said Seokjin,’ he was literally crying at this point.

‘Well I’m glad you’re finding this so funny, Kim Seokjin! After I followed all your rules.’ You tried to shove him away, pretending to be sulky. Jin apologised after wiping away his tears. You giggled as he pulled you back, tickling you.

The whole charade was his idea, but you were too intrigued to turn him down. You knew the two of you being drama students would come in handy one day.

‘Y/n, I’m sorry, but how could I improve on Kim Seokjin? It literally means large treasure. I mean, can you think of two words that better describe me?’ He looked at you with those innocent eyes, and gave you a wink. Ugh, he was right. Didn’t stop you from wanting to slap him though.

‘So tell me, precious Seokjin, why Laila?’ You asked after snuggling back into his side.

‘Ah well, Laila is a beautiful angel..’

You looked up at him with caution as he finished his sentence.

‘..of Conception.’ 

Now you really wanted to slap him. He could tell.

‘Relax babe, I’m just kidding!’ Here it comes, ‘Get it y/n? KIDding??!!’ And he erupted in laughter once again.

That damn infectious laugh of his, always gets him out of trouble.

‘Well you’re lucky I’m feeling too fucked to be angry at you..’ Just before you finished your sentence, a vibration came from your dress somewhere on the floor. Jin turned dramatically to you, eyes wide. All you did was freeze.

‘Y/N!!!!! WE SAID NO PHONES I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU BOUGHT YOUR PHONE AND YOU WERE HAVING A GO AT ME FOR KEEPING MY AMAZING NAME OF KIM SEOKJIN WHICH IS NOTHING COMPARED TO YOU I JUST CAN’T GET OVER THIS TRAVESTY I MEAN WHO EVEN ARE YOU I DON’T KNOW YOU ANYMORE WHERE WERE YOU EVEN KEEPING YOUR PHONE ANYWAY HOW THE HECK DID YOU HIDE IT? THAT DRESS WAS SO TIGHT I’M SURPRISED I DIDN’T SEE IT I THINK I WAS TOO BUSY LOOKING AT YOUR...’

Your lips were on his before he could force any more words out of his mouth. When he snapped like this, you remembered that it was another reason why you fell in love with the beautiful dork.

After you broke away from the kiss, he cleared his throat, ‘OK, well, I guess I forgive you y/n, but I don’t think I like Laila,’ he pouted.

‘And why is that?’ Your head was leaning on you hand, elbow bent. You couldn’t wait for whatever reason he’d cooked up.

‘She ruined my new shirt.’ 

‘What a bitch, I’ll have a word.’ You couldn’t help but feel bad, ‘I’ll buy you a new shirt babe.’ And with that, gave him a peck on his cheek.

‘Speaking of which,’ he shifted on the bed, ‘I think I have a button where a button shouldn’t be.’ He looked directly at you.

‘Well, while you’re dealing with that, I’m gonna order room service, take off these evil heels and close this blind!’ 

‘Oh yeah, we may regret that!’ He laughed, whilst still trying to get comfortable.

‘Not for a second, my large treasure,’ he gets a wink in his direction, for a change.

‘Not for a second.’ 

[maaaaaatryoshka0325]

Not Afraid of the Dark - Seo Changbin gang AU series Part 4

Description: you’re a college student, so is he. Big difference? He’s a gang member.

Warnings: violence, cursing, all that good shit.

(Part1) (Part2) (Part3) (Part5) (Part6) (Part7) (Part8) (Part9)

School was closed for the next couple days, and a party would be taking place at the one girls house. She had invited practically the whole school, so you, Nina, and Chul were going. You put on a cute, casual black dress that looked cute with your black sneakers. You did up your make up and (straightened/curled) your hair. Nina sat on your bed doing her own make up when Chul came in. He was wearing a dark V neck and tight blue jeans.

“You look good.” Nina said.

“Thank you.” He said with a smile.

You finished your make up and rushed them out the door.

One thing you hated about these parties: the couples making out in the middle of it. You bumped and squeezed around people who had their tongues down each other’s throats. It made you sick really. You grabbed a drink and chugged it, trying to get at least a buzz going.

“Y/N?” You heard a voice.

You turned your head and saw Felix standing there with a white button down and tight light blue jeans with some rips here and there.

“Oh, hey Felix.” You greeted.

“I didn’t know you liked parties.” He said.

“Sometimes, not too much.” You replied.

“I have to find Jeongin, I’ll be back.” He said, disappearing into the crowd.

You were mad at yourself for losing Nina and Chul so fast. Literally ten seconds in and they were gone. You sighed and made your way around, heading to the balcony that over looked the lake behind the house. You were squeezing by a very intoxicated couple when you bumped into someone. The cologne was familiar. When you looked up, you made eye contact with Changbin.

“Oh, hey Sweetheart.” He said with a smile.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were here.” You said.

“Yeah, I pop into parties here and there.” He said.

“Oh, so do I.” You said back.

He was about to say something when you both heard the couple slurping each other’s faces. He scrunched up his face and looked at you.

“Wanna go on the balcony?” He asked.

You nodded and he helped you get by the couple. He led you on to the balcony, and you were awestruck by the sight. The moon reflected off of the lake and made it shine. You glanced over and saw Changbin looking at you.

“What is it?” You asked.

“Nothing.” He said with a smile.

You rolled your eyes and looked back over the balcony.

“You look great tonight, Sweetheart.” He said.

“Thank you, so do you.” You say back.

He looked very attractive that night, actually. He had a dark button up that looked tight and was tucked with tight black ripped jeans and a belt. His hair was nicely parted and his cologne was more noticeable. You both stood on the balcony, enjoying the silence and the company while sipping your drinks, your shoulders brushing every so often.

You heard a commotion then you both went down the stairs. You saw a boy with chestnut hair pummeling a smaller boy, people were hooting and hollering as the poor boy was being beaten. You felt Changbin push pass you as he pulled the bigger guy off and walked him out of the room. You kneeled beside the smaller one, seeing his lip was busted.

“Can someone get him some ice?” You called.

A very drunk girl hobbled over with a sandwich bag of ice and a cup of water. She seemed to know him so you left him in her hands. You searched the area for Changbin, and felt relief when you saw him approaching you.

“Sorry, that fight was way too out of hand.” He said.

“No I agree, you did the right thing.” You said.

“Ohhhhh Y/nnnnnn!” You heard someone call in a sing song voice.

You both turned to see Nina stumbling over to you. She was DRUNK.

“I couldn’t find you and *hic* Chul so I’ve been searching all *hic* night.” She said.

“Okay, are you ready to go? You can stay at my place.” You said, steadying her.

“Yay a *hic* sleeeeeepoverrrr.” She said, flopping all her weight around.

“Ahhh, Nina stop moving so much.” You said.

“Here, I’ll help.” Changbin said, helping you support her.

You allowed him to do so as you walked her to your dorm. It wasn’t a long walk. And the fresh air might do Nina some good. Might.

As soon as you stepped in the door she was face first in the toilet. You held her hair back as Changbin filled up some water and knelt beside her as tears flew down her face. You heard your door open and when you looked back you saw a very pissed looking Chul.

“Chul-“

Before you could finish, Chul had Changbin by the front of his shirt.

“Don’t you listen?! I told you to leave her alone!” He hissed.

“Chul stop!” You grabbed his arms.

“I said stop!” You said more firmly.

He let go and Changbin’s calm face remained the same.

“What do you think you’re doing Y/N? He’s in a gang! It’s called stray kids! He’s no good Y/N, he’ll just get you into trouble. That’s all he is, trouble.” Chul hissed.

“I don’t care what he is. He hasn’t hurt me, Chul. He’s a good person. Instead of acting like this, why don’t you help our friend?” You hissed.

“Y/N, it’s fine. He’s right. I’m nothing but trouble.” Changbin said, then he looked Chul right in the eyes.

“But I would never cause trouble for her. I would never hurt her in any way. Like I said to you before, she helped me.” He pointed to his chest, the buttons had gotten messed up and his toned chest and stitches shone.

“You gave a human stitches?” Chul asked.

“He wouldn’t let me call anybody.” You said.

“Shtop being soooo mean Chully.” Nina drunkingly said.

Chul looked at her.

“He helped Y/N *hic* bring me back and he’s so *hic* nice and you’re bullying him.” Nina said, starting to cry again. Changbin bent beside her and pulled her hair out of her face, taking a hair tie you had on the sink and pulling her hair back.

“It’s okay Nina, I understand why he’s mad.” Changbin said.

“Can I *hic* just talk to Y/N pleaseee?” She asked.

Changbin nodded then walked out of the room and you knelt down with her and shut the door.

“I have to throw up again and I don’t want Chul to see me throw up.” She rasped.

You handed her the water and she drank more and stayed leaned up against the toilet bowl.

Outside of the bathroom, Changbin leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets, his shirt still messed up as his chest shone in the moonlit room.

“I’m sorry.” Chul said.

Changbin looked over at him.

“I shouldn’t of reacted that way. I’m just really protective of them, ya know? I’m sorry.” He said.

“I understand.” Changbin said. “Stray Kids may be a gang, but we like Y/N. She saved me, as you can tell. And she’s been great ever since.”

You walked out of the bathroom. With the empty water, about it fill it with cold, filtered water.

“I can handle it from here. You guys should go home and sleep.” You said.

Chul nodded then headed out your door. Changbin remained before looking at you.

“I’m so sorry Changbin-“ you started before he cut you off.

“Don’t worry about it Sweetheart. Let me help you get her to bed.” He said.

Nina gargled some mouth wash before you and Changbin tucked her in. You quietly shut your bedroom door before turning to him.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to do this.” You said.

He shrugged and smiled at you.

“No biggie. I’m gonna headout so you can sleep. I’ll see you later.” He said, smiling and waving at you.

“Let me know when you get home.” You said.

He smiled even bigger and nodded. When he left, you slipped out of your dress and into comfy sweatpants and a T-shirt as you removed your make up. You crawled into bed beside Nina, who was snoring lightly. You plugged your phone in and watched it light up with a notification on top of it.

Changbin: I’m home safe and sound, goodnight

You: Goodnight. Thank you again.

You turned over and felt a wave of exhaustion hit you as you slipped off into slumber.

The walls around you were tight as you fight to free yourself from them. Screams and cries echoed in your ears as you raced through what seemed to be a maze of walls. You screamed but no sound came out, instead it went silent. A buzzing sound filled your head and you covered your ears. A black feather landed on your hand and you looked up to see the muscular back of the angel above you. He slowly turned.

Your eyes fluttered open as you looked at the opposite side of your bed. Nina wasn’t there, and when you sat up, you saw a note on the side table.

“Went home, thank you for putting up with me. There’s a coffee in the fridge for you when you wake up :) ~Nina”

You smiled and dragged yourself out of bed. It was already 1 pm so you threw yourself in the shower (literally yeeted yourself). You decided to run some errands. You went to the pharmacy and grabbed your prescription, grabbed some food for your dorm, then headed back to drop it off. You studied for a little bit, deciding it was best to keep your mind fresh. After spending hours (and literally a few days of your school vacation) cramped in your desk chair, you stretch and decide to go for a walk.

You threw on a hoodie and decided to take a walk around the river. You haven’t been out in a few days, save for when you went to take out Changbins stitches. You watched as people walked their dogs, played with their children, and caught up with each other. You really loved watching the old couples walk around while holding hands. You always though that growing old and being in love with someone for so long was one of the most precious things. You realized it was getting dark so you headed back.

Almost all of the roads back to your place were back roads. They usually didn’t make you feel anxious about taking them, but tonight seemed different. As you walked, you noticed someone who had been around since your walk on the river. He had his hood up and took every turn you took. When he noticed you noticed him, he sped up. You hurried around a corner and hid. Anxiety filled you. What did he want?

He searched around the ally and smirked.

“Here kitty kitty. It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.” He said. You caught a glimpse of his face. He had a scar through his eyebrow and he looked mean. You stayed hidden and when he turned a different corner you pulled out your phone, your hands shaking. Who should you call? Chul was with his family and probably wouldn’t answer, Nina and Nari wouldn’t be able to save you. You closed your eyes tight before a name popped into your head.

You dialed the number and as it rang your heart raced.

“Wow Sweetheart I thought you’d never call.” He laughed.

“Ch-Changbin.” You managed out.

He stopped laughing as soon as he heard your voice.

“What’s wrong? What is it?” He asked.

“I-I’m being followed. He’s looking for me right now.” You said, your voice shaking.

“Who?” He asked, you could hear slight anxiety and anger in his voice.

“I don’t know. He followed me from the river. He’s in black and red and has a scar through his eyebrow.”

He went silent, then in a rough voice he said.

“Don’t move. Send me your location now!”

[lesbeet]

long post ahead

ive been thinking nonstop about the possibility of me having adhd since my sister and her boyfriend brought it up to me last week (i’m FINALLY seeing my therapist today so we can talk about it) and i’ve been doing a lot of research and i found the howtoadhd channel on youtube

and literally the number of times in the past 2 hours alone that i’ve teared up or started legitimately crying because of how much i relate to things that these videos are saying is ridiculous, like some of them are word-for-word things i’ve said that i had NO inkling of an idea could be related to adhd

like this one video of this guy who was diagnosed at 43 and said that prior to his diagnosis he had just accepted that he would feel dissatisfied for his whole life, that he would never feel content, i’ve been saying that for YEARS and just was resigned to it and chalked it up solely to my depression

and just like. having been able to do well in school as a kid but constantly being told that i’m “not living up to [my] potential” and now that i’m in my early 20s and my intelligence can’t compensate for like....not being able to regulate my emotions and not being able to organize my life and not being able to motivate myself to do things, which is supposedly why a number of people get diagnosed around this time, because metrics for success are different in adulthood (you can’t just take a test and rely on being smart to compensate for all the other problems), and i was always just. thinking that i fucked up and wasted my life through laziness or whatever the case may be

i’ve always considered myself to be “crafty” and “resourceful” in the sense that i may not go about doing things in the typical way but i can almost always find a way to accomplish what i need accomplished, even if it’s unconventional -- apparently that’s common with adhd too! like i’ll say “oh i couldn’t figure out how to do [x] so i did [y and z]” and someone will be like “why didn’t you just do [thing everyone else does]” and usually i either couldn’t figure out how, or it didn’t occur to me, and my way was weird and unconventional, but it worked for me!

and then of course i’m just recognizing all these signs that have always been there that i either didn’t notice or attributed to other things -- i’ve been trying to observe the way my attention functions this week and literally i space out and miss things SO much more often than i ever realized, like i miss so much information because i’ve drifted off. or i get really stuck on things in conversations and even after everyone else has moved on i have this urge to bring it back so i can say that last thing i’ve been rehearsing over and over for the past 5 minutes so i didn’t forget it, and now it’s in my head and everyone is talking about something else and it’s SO inconsequential but i have to forcibly drag myself away from whatever the thing is (yesterday my sister and her friend and i were talking about early 2000′s fashion and i wanted to make a comment about wearing ugly scarves as belts and they saw a dog and moved on to talking about cute things our dogs have done and i just couldn’t stop thinking about the scarves as belts thing for like 10 minutes until i just had to sigh and be like...well i can’t bring that up again now)

when i was younger i would rush through tests so i could go back to whatever book i was reading and i just thought it was a silly quirk like “oh i just like to read lol” but i realized i still do similar things -- if i’m reading a book or watching a show or working on something, THAT is what i’m doing. anything else, whether it’s work or sleep or eating or hanging out with a friend or fulfilling any sort of responsibility? that’s a break from the thing i’m doing. if i’m reading a book, even if it’s the 3rd time i’m rereading harry potter for the year, for example, then in my head, i’m reading harry potter. i have to go to work all day but then i can read harry potter. all i’m doing is thinking about reading harry potter. i rush through my responsibilities so i can go BACK to reading harry potter, because that’s what i’m doing and anything else is just taking a break from reading harry potter. (you see how this can negatively affect the accomplishment/fulfillment of important tasks and responsibilities)

and my sister has pointed out things that i didn’t really notice, like she said it’s really difficult to hold a conversation with me when i’m excited about something because i can’t calm down enough to let the other person talk. and i’ve always known that i tend to finish peoples’ sentences for them during conversations, which i always thought was a way of showing that i’m listening! but ive realized it’s actually that, if i already know what you’re going to say, and you’re saying it too slowly, i get impatient and i need to blurt out the rest for you so we can move on and i can say my next thing before i forget it

and like obviously all people experience some symptoms some of the time, daydreaming isn’t exclusive to adhd, neither is walking into a room and forgetting what you’re doing there. but this week as i’ve been paying attention, i notice i do it CONSTANTLY. the other night i opened up my phone before bed because i remembered i hadn’t set my alarm, so i picked it up from where i place it for the night (i was about to go to sleep). 15 minutes later i put my phone back down and decided to turn in for the night again, and then realized i still had never turned the alarm on because i got distracted and did other stuff. and things like that happen with almost comical regularity, now that i know to look for it.

i’ve known i have executive dysfunction issues for a long time so i won’t go into those, but like we’ve known i have problems with directions and organization and spatial processing and knowing how to complete tasks for a long time

the rejection-sensitive dysphoria is something i didn’t really realize was part of adhd, but it makes SO much sense. i think it’s part of why i thought i had bpd for a while, because a lot of the symptoms were similar and i knew i was dealing with something more than just depression and anxiety but didn’t know what, and a lot of the symptoms i experienced also seemed to fit the bpd diagnosis even if my actual behavior and personality didn’t seem to

there are so many more things i’ve noticed this week and thought about differently but i literally can’t remember what they are lmao i think i’m gonna try to write stuff down so i don’t forget to tell my therapist today but like. 

so many of these things i didn’t realize had anything to do with adhd, like emotional dysregulation, i’ve always known i have horrible mood swings and trouble regulating my emotions, i’ve always noticed a lot of these different symptoms but it never occurred to me that they could all be part of the same thing??

like i haven’t been tested or diagnosed yet and i’m worried i’m getting carried away but the only time i’ve ever felt this sort of relief was a few months ago when realizing my dad is a narcissist. like the feeling of “oh my god, i knew this was something i experienced but i didn’t think i could attribute it to anything” and “oh my god, this is word for word something i say all the time, i didn’t realize it was part of a pattern”

and it genuinely made me cry! hearing people talk about things that describe me that i never would have guessed might have to do with adhd, finding something that seems to encompass a very broad range of symptoms that i previously thought were unrelated or results of a myriad of things (and obviously they all play off of one another but that’s a whole separate issue)

but it would explain so much of my behavior and challenges -- why i struggle with finishing up a task or project once the big, complicated part is done; why i get super obsessed with something and then once it wears off i never mention or think about it again; why i’ve always needed my mom’s help to clean my closet or pack for a trip, even though i felt like i was way too old to need help with that; why people constantly are like “i know you heard me say this because you said ‘ok’” about things i genuinely have no recollection of

but i just can’t stop thinking about that guy talking about how he was just resigned to thinking he would never been satisfied or content with his life because that is something i have been feeling and saying FOREVER, for years ive just been like “everything is so hard, the idea of spending the rest of my life struggling to get up in the morning and going to work every day, dealing with all my responsibilities, i feel like i’m exhausted and underwater just thinking about it, i’m never going to feel fulfilled or satisfied, it’s always just going to be slogging through my responsibilities and it’s never going to end” and apparently that’s....a normal thing, and i just thought it was depression and maybe part of it is, but maybe the reason i struggle so much with those every day things is because my brain is wired differently?

and maybe i’ve fucked up because at this point i think i’ll be really disappointed if i don’t get the diagnosis because i’m not really sure what else could explain these issues, it certainly makes sense and i feel like it fits and i feel relieved just thinking about having that answer, and it certainly negatively impacts almost every aspect (if not every aspect) of my life. so like if i don’t get diagnosed idk what i’m gonna do and i probably fucked up by spending the last week obsessing over it lol

but like....the relief i feel every time i read or hear or see someone with adhd say “i experience [x]” and i’m like holy shit??? me too???? and it just. feels like maybe there’s an explanation for all this horrible dissatisfaction and unhappiness i thought i was going to be stuck with for the rest of my life, and there are other people who experience these things and there are things that can be done, medication and therapy and strategies and...my whole life doesn’t NEED to feel like a challenge, maybe it’s not an indisputable fact that i’m just going to have to live with forever.

if you read this far and you have adhd (especially if you were diagnosed after childhood) i would love to hear your thoughts on this, obviously i didn’t list every single symptom and experience and i know there are more but these are all i could think of at the moment, if i seem like i’m way off base obviously please let me know

[lubdubsworld]

Bird Bones

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

“Do you want to order take out? Or do you want me to make you some fried rice or something else?” Hoseok said quietly, helping me take off my jacket and shooing me into the cozy apartment , right over the dance studio he owned. Hoseok’s home was a two bedroom bed-sit of sorts, comfortably big and furnished rather eclectically, with bright and muted colors and fabrics of different textures. It looked homely and soft in some places, all hard edges and elegant perfection in others. But the whole thing came together pretty well, much like their owner.

A study of contrasts.

Both Hoseok and his home.

“ Anything you like. Sesame oil makes me throw up.” i said softly, toeing off my sneakers after bending down to untie them. Soon , I wouldn’t even be able to do this, I thought bleakly. There would be a baby belly on my way. I swallowed drily, feeling lightheaded as I straightened up. And something told me that not being able to bend over and tie my shoelaces would be the least of my worries.

“I’ll make you some chicken soup then. Go wash the rice and put it in the cooker.” He said casually, taking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt swiftly. I hesitated before dropping my bag on the couch and moved to the kitchen, separated from the rest of the dining space by a small granite counter. i saw some unpaid bills and a few brochures for exotic tours in the mail, spread out on the black surface.

“When was the last time you took a vacation…” I said casually, flipping through a pamphlet on Angkor Wat. Hoseok grunted and i peered over the edge of the wall to see him pulling his belt out of his pants, taking off the neatly creased slacks as well. I took a deep breath and went back to opening the cupboard, grabbing the small pouch of rice and moving to get the measuring cups.

He came back out a few minutes later, shirtless except for a white wife beater and wearing his loose sweatpants, moving to the freezer to get the chicken before starting with his meal prep. He was good at this, easily grabbing sugar salt and olive oil, getting some lemon zest, crushing garlic and thyme and seasoning the meat with practiced ease.

We made the meal in relative silence, the kind that comes after years of being comfortable with each other. He had music playing and it was only when we had settled down for dinner that he brought the subject up. “So…when did this thing with jung kook happen…”

I hesitated.

“About seven weeks ago.” I said with a shrug. “ it was a one time thing…” “Were you drunk? “ I flinched. “A little bit. But not enough for it to be non consensual or anything. We both..well we both wanted it.”

Hoseok frowned. “You do realize that this going to change everything.”

I swallowed. “I’ve been thinking about it…. “ I said awkwardly. “ Maybe I could just get a part time job , enough to hire a nanny or …”

“You can’t be a mother and a student, Da Som. It will literally kill you.”

I stayed quiet.

“Have you considered adoption?” I shrugged. “I don’t know… I mean. Yeah, if someone can give this baby a better life then.. I’m not… I mean… I won’t be opposed to it .” I said softly not sure what I was agreeing too. It was early, too early for me to form an attachment but who knew what the days ahead would bring? What if I fell in love with this child? Would I still be able to give him or her up.

“It’s the best option. I don’t want to be cruel but there can be nothing worse for that baby than for you trying to raise it in that shitty dorm of yours, while you struggle to get a degree and a job.”

“I was planning on moving back to Seoul…” I said grudgingly.

“you still have an year of university left.” Hoseok said sharply.

“Can we not talk about this..?”

“Da Som….”

“I’m serious. I’m tired and this…this soup isn’t really doing much for my nausea, to be honest… I want to go sleep now.” I began to stand up but Hoseok brought his palm down on the table with enough force to make me jump a bit.

“Finish the damn food, you’re not starving when you’re pregnant.” His voice was as sharp as a whip cracking through the air.

I grudgingly sat back down, feeling bone weary and tired. Everything was just too much now, a sort of heaviness in my stomach and a hazy cloud of self pity threatening to take over. I felt like I was trapped, airless and struggling to breathe.

“Jung Kook has plans too.” He said suddenly and I looked up confused.

“What?”

“They’re not mine to say but I want you to know that he’s got his own plans, for how he wants his life to be and a child is not in those plans, no matter how much he tries to act like he wants to take care of you.” I sighed. Hoseok was honestly preaching to the choir at this point. No one knew, better than me , that jung kook and I did not belong in the same sentence, let alone the same path in life.

“He doesn’t have to do anything.. I told him he can just leave me be and…”

“He refused right? Instead he offered to take care of you… Don’t deny it, I witnessed it myself . Did you think why?”

I frowned , wondering what he was trying to tell me. Jung kook had acted like a decent human being, that’s all. Nothing out of the way amazing or extra-ordinary.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply here…”

Hoseok sighed.

“I just want you to know that people like him have a different way of …thinking things through, you could tell. i don’t want you to get swayed by his gestures or his words. Not when there is literally zero chance of him actually living up to his words.”

I knew Hoseok was right.

He knew better than anyone else how badly these people treated me and jung kook had, till a few weeks ago, been one of them. He was right. He was looking out for me.

But his words still hit a nerve. “You sound like you almost want him to treat me like shit.” i said angrily. Hoseok looked taken aback before sighing deeply.

“ You know that’s not what I meant, Dasom. I just want you to be careful. I don’t want to see you getting hurt because of misjudging the guy…”

I fought the urge to cry, tamping down on the urge with barely there restraint. It felt like I was always on the verge of tears, these days, the tears just welling up at the slightest trigger , but I also knew that it was both unfair and wrong to take it out on Hoseok. Hoseok, who had been and still was the only dependable person in my life.

“I know.. I just… I’m trying to work this out, oppa.”

He nodded.

“We’ll go see Seokjin hyung tomorrow, alright? He runs the Health center off campus and I can take some time off from the studio in the evening. Taehyung and Jimin will be able to cover for me.”

I nodded, only half registering the words. I didn’t particularly dislike Jimin and Tae. They were younger than Hoseok and taught some of the younger kids at the studio. However, they were also pretty close with Jung Kook, both their parents were part of the town council and their mothers were always working closely with Mrs Jeon in most of her charities. They didn’t really acknowledge me, other than the odd smile or nod when I ran into them at the studio.

“Okay.”

“And about the adoption thing. I don’t want you to think I’m pressuring you into this in any way. If you.. if you decide to keep the baby, I’ll be supportive , as much as I can. But it won’t be easy… You know it won’t.” There was a wealth of exhaustion in his tone and I noticed, rather clearly the bags under his eyes and the slightly loose fit of his clothes. I felt worry well up inside me, combined with genuine guilt. Hoseok did not deserve to be saddled with someone like me.

I nodded, finally taking the last bite of my chicken and grabbing a glass of water.

“I won’t make things difficult for anyone , just because I … just because I want to be selfish and…”

“it’s not selfish to want to raise your own child , Da Som…”

I bit my lips before laughing a little, the tears forming before I could stop them.

“Maybe not for others. But for someone like… well like me? It’s the most selfish thing in the world, really.”

“Da Som…”

“I’m going to bed now. I’ll see you tomorrow, oppa.”

~~~~~~~~~

“Well, you’re eight weeks along at the moment which means that you’re probably going to have another month or so of nausea. I can prescribe some meds for it but don’t take them too often. Also, are you taking all your supplements?”

I nodded, tapping the table with the pen as I frowned at the form in front of me. There was a whole section allotted to the ‘father’ and I literally did not know a thing about Jung kook.

“ Uh… is this stuff , necessary?” I said awkwardly , pointing out the columns asking for some stuff. Seokjin glanced at the paper and gave me an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry honey. They’re mandatory . Especially the one about his blood group and his allergies.”

I swallowed.

“okay.. Can I get back to you with these? Later?”

“of course. Take your time , Somie-ya. Just drop it off with Hoseok and I’ll get it from him , if you’re uncomfortable bringing it over to me yourself. I’ve written a note for you to carry in for your next appointment. You can probably meet me in my private clinic hereafter. I’ll be able to get your scans done there as well.”

I nodded, carefully folding the form and placing it in my bag . Hoseok helped me back into my jacket and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

“I love you baby girl. I’ll be busy tonight and tomorrow as well. There’s a showcase this weekend. I’ll see you on Friday before I leave to Seoul, alright?” He said fondly and I smiled.

“Sure, oppa.” I gave him a half hug before zipping myself up and pulling my bag up further over my shoulders. The moment I stepped over the threshold, I felt the blood drain out of my face.

A group of girls stood near the entrance, looking smug and downright scary.

I recognized two of the girls from my Creative Writing class, both of them huddled close to the door, looking rather to obviously, like they’d been listening to what was going on inside. But it was the girl in the middle who made my stomach churn.

Sana. Jung kook’s fiancée.

“SO guess all that sleeping around finally came around to bite you in the ass, huh?” one of them stage whispered and I went still.

I stared at them, half outraged and half in disbelief.

To my surprise they didn’t look even remotely ashamed. Instead the taller girl stepped forward , grinning. Sana didn’t stop her, still staring expressionlessly at me.

“What? Are you going to deny it?” The girl snapped and I shut my eyes.

“Get out of my way.” I said calmly.

Sana smiled then and I stared at her.

“We’ve never met before. I’m Sana. Jung Kook’s fiancée.” She grinned.

“So?”

“You don’t know who he is , do you? The father? Isn’t that why you couldn’t fill in the details?” she said casually.

I laughed out loud.

“I can’t believe you think it’s okay to talk to me like that? Is that what they teach you in your finishing schools?”

“Well, they certainly don’t teach us to spread our legs for every guy with a dick. Isn’t that something your mother taught you? Heard she was just like that…”

And it was amazing, that even though I’d heard variations of that sentiment, all through my life, it still stung.

“Wow. You really are a bitch.” I said softly moving around to get the hell away from her when her arm shot out, gripping my arm with surprising strength. I almost winced from the pain.

“Stay away from Jung kook. I don’t know what your game is but if I see you sniffing around him, I’ll make sure you get kicked out of college. Then you’ll have no choice but to be a real whore…” she whispered.

I yanked my hand back and grinned.

“Sweetheart, I really don’t give a damn about your boytoy. If you’re so insecure about keeping him, maybe you should get him a nice leash…”

“A slut like you doesn’t deserve to even breathe around someone like him. He’s a Jeon! He deserves only the best. He shouldn’t be anywhere near something like you!” She shouted.

“Go tell him that. He’s the one who can’t seem to stay the fuck away from me” I hissed angrily.

Her nostrils flared and I tossed one last glare before stalking away angrily.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I moved to the bus stop, I caught a glimpse of Jung kook, leaning against the stop sign, grinning at his phone and looking, for want of any other word, downright beautiful in the fading light.

I felt fury rise up inside me like an ugly snake rearing its head.

“Hey, Da Som.. how was your day ? I was looking for you and-“ Jung kook stopped himself when he saw the look on my face.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” I snarled, curling my fingers into fists and shoving him hard, making him stumble. He swore and righted himself easily, moving closer and grabbing my wrists gently, stopping me from hitting him again.

“What… Da som.. are you okay?” He looked alarmed, pulling me closer and wrapping one arm around my back.

“Let go of me!!” I screeched.

“fuck… baby, stop screaming people are staring..” He panicked, wide eyed and confused but it only made me angrier. Yes, people were staring. People would always stare if I stayed anywhere near this man. He was the reason people stared at me. The reason complete strangers thought it was okay to hurl abuse at me. To call me a slut and a whore and a fucking prostitute!!

“Who gave you the fucking right to call me that!!! I am not your baby.. I’m not your anything… Stop.. I said let me go…” I yelped as he all but carried me away, arms wrapped tight around my waist as he hauled me to his car.

I grunted as he pushed me in, reaching over me and putting the belt on me. I felt my stomach lurch in helpless arousal, his cologne doing that thing where it sort of went past my longs and imbibed itself in my blood, made everything else haze except for the scent of him. The heat of his body, evident even through the layers of clothes and the few inches between us made me want to wrap myself in his arms.

All bad ideas, really.

When he was sitting in the driver seat, he took a deep breath and turned to me.

“Now… mind telling me what’s the problem.”

I took a deep breath.

“I met your fiancée. Lovely girl you have there by the way. I wish you both the very best.” I sneered.

Jung kook flinched and looked genuinely uncomfortable.

“shit.. did she… say something. Look she’s actually a nice girl, okay? She’s a bit possessive with me …so whatever she said, it’s probably not personal… so don’t take it to heart.”

“She told me that I’m a whore because my mother was one as well. It’s hard not to take that personally.” I said waspishly.

Jung kook had the good grace to look ashamed.

“shit.. I’m sorry. I just… I’m sorry you had a bad day.. let me make it up to you, okay? Let me take you out to dinner…” He begged and I stared at him disbelief.

“what do you think you’re doing?” I said in genuine confusion.

He blinked.

“what?”

“this..thing. where you keep acting like you actually care about me.”

He groaned.

“I do care.. why is that so hard for you to believe. That bay in there is mine as much as it’s yours and…”

“yours? Are you kidding me…? I do not see you puking twenty times a day and staying up all night because your body aches… I don’t see you feeling like death every time you have to swallow down food, or worrying about getting a part time job because you can’t even afford to buy maternity clothes when you get as big as a truck…. So enlighten me, how this baby is yours…” I shouted angrily.

Damn it, Somie don’t fucking cry…

“I would if I could.” He said softly and I froze.

“jung kook…”

“I want to be there for you, Da Som. I’m not joking… I swear I’m not. I just.. I know I can’t take away your nausea or your body aches and I certainly can’t have the baby for you…but everything else… I’m here. As a friend. ”

He moved closer, fingers reaching out to rest awkwardly on my knee.

“You shouldn’t be.” I whispered. “ there is no parallel universe in existence where you and I could be friends without it ending in disaster.”

Jung Kook reached out and cupped my face in his hands.

“Hey… that is not true. I can be your friend. I want to be your friend. And I don’t care what anyone says, I don’t care what anyone thinks…. I’ll be there for you. Because that is what friends do…”

How naïve was this boy?

I sighed in defeat.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking. But fine. You can start out by filling this form for me.”

[kingfallshistoricallibrary-blog]

Episode Nine - Jack in the Box Jesus

Mayor: Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that while it is a terrible inconvenience that our modern electronics are out, this is not the end of the world. It could be a refreshing change of pace! Instead of reading on your tablet go down to the King Falls library and check out the real thing! And instead of texting your BFF go enjoy some pancake puppies at Rose’s and have a face-to-face chat.This isn’t as bad as it seems and it could be a blessing in disguise. [intro] Sammy: Good morning guys and dolls, you’re listening to King Falls AM Ben: That’s 660 on the radio dial. Sammy: and this is day 13 of what has been dubbed the King Falls electrolocaust. Ben: This has easily been the hardest two weeks of my professional career. Sammy: It has been tough, but Ben and I want to thank you and everyone out there listening for the continuing support of the show. Ben: We got another doozy of a show for you tonight King Falls. During our two we’ll be interviewing Maria Chandler, manager of the King Falls Apple store, and speaking about the effects that shut down this (?) business. Sammy: MMYAs well as fielding your calls and talking about whatever’s clever this evening. Ben: I miss computers, Sammy. I miss the schedule, our automated systems, my alarm clock. I’ve went through three the legal pads in two weeks! Sammy: I know, buddy. Ben: I would literally watch channel 13 if given the chance. Sammy: Wow. That’s saying a lot. Ben: I need my life back. Sammy: King Falls, how are you taking the modern electronic shut down of 2015? Are you refreshed? Reliving the mid-90s? Or are you falling apart like our dear Ben Arnold? Ben: I’d listen to boy bands to have a working smartphone. I’d wear, puka shell necklaces and sell my pod collection if you give me five minutes with my email. Sammy: Look on the bright side, Ben. You’re spending all your free time down the library, and I haven’t called you out on it, Ben: That’s calling me out on it. Sammy: Well, and you know it’s nice hearing the birds tweeting instead of @ king falls a.m., I’m not saying I don’t miss it but I’m enjoying this a little bit. Ben: It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with you

Sammy: The references are not gonna bring back your goods. Ben: Dammit Sammy, let’s just take a call from our jury-rigged phone system. Sammy: You’re live with Sammy and Ben. Cynthia: Yeah, I wanna talk about the outages. Sammy: Cynthia Higgenbaum ladies and gents. How are you doing during this electronic crisis? Cynthia: I feel the warm embrace of the chastity belt that’s been placed on society. I’m relieved, de-stressed, marvelous. Ben: Whoa, that’s, that’s a heck of a change. Cynthia: What are you trying to say, Ben? Sammy: It’s just usually- you’ve been a little.. pessimistic in the past. Cynthia: Oh, I still have problems; I’m full up with issues. But right now, I don’t have to worry about what websites my husband is pursuing, what brain-dead TV my kids are watching, I’m at peace. It’s just me and my harlequin novels. Plus with Jesus back in all- Ben: 50 shades of Cynthia Cynthia: Don’t be filthy Ben Arnold! I know your mother! Sammy: I’m sorry Cynthia, did you just say that Jesus is back? Cynthia: Have you guys not heard the news? Ben Is she talking about Jesus Jesus? Cynthia: There’s only one. Sammy: Well, I think Mexico would disagree but please tell us why you think Jesus is- Cynthia: I don’t think Sammy I know! Earlier this evening, he was spotted glowing and speaking in tongues at Jack In The Box. Ben: The one off Main Street or Red Oak Avenue? Cynthia: Ew, nobody does to Red Oak. Sammy: Jack In The Box Jesus. Cynthia: Oh, hell no! I will not participate in that blasphemy. You’re gonna get smited- Sammy: Oh, I mean, I wasn’t- I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to- Cynthia: Tell it to Satan, In hell, Sammy! [hangs up] Ben: Woah, this is big. Sammy: If you or someone you know has had a sighting of Jack In The Box Jesus please give us a call. 424-279-3858 Ben: You’re on King Falls AM. Troy: Now I know what you’re thinking: how could the second coming of God’s only son happen and ol’ Troy here didn’t clue you in. Ben: Not what I was thinking. Sammy: What do you know Troy? Troy: Well I got a suspicious persons call out at ol’ Jack in the Box around 9, So I hit the lights and cruised over to see what the fuss was about. And lo and behold, back by the dumpster with a mess of people looking on, there he was. Sammy: Now are you really telling us that you saw, or, you believe you saw the son of God and the King of Kings banging outside the Jack In The Box? Troy: Well, he was a man, somebody’s son no doubt. Bearded, good looking, if you are into that sort of thing. He had a robe on- Ben: We can solve this right now. Was he white or was he black? Troy: He was more of a greenish color. Like a glow really. Sammy: The man had an aura around him. Troy: It was shinier than the damn Fukushima foxhound fellas. Like I felt a need to put on the old aviators, but I didn’t want to be cliché. Sammy: Alright, Troy. So, work with us here you’re in the back of the Jack In The Box, there’s a uh, Jesus type guy. Troy: Just-a-ramblin’ on. Ben: Speaking in tongues? Troy: Speaking in something. The last time I heard gibberish like that was comin’ from the back of my Chevy with Shell Snider’s daughter. Sammy: So what happened next? Troy: Well a group of lucky-loos had descended as I said and since it was only me, there was no perimeter set up yet. So I started ta approach this glowing Christ and somebody, Roy Higgens if you gotta know, hollered out ‘it’s Jesus!’ and the whole parking lot just went bonkers! Ben: Well, did you speak to the guy? Troy: Damn skippy. I told Roy that this was official police biz, And he shouldn’t be squawking around like a little baby. Ben: No, Jack in the box Jesus. Troy: Oh, well no. I turned around and he was gone. Split right off into the woods I suspect. Sammy: Did you follow him? Troy: Sammy, so you’re telling me that you’d follow a 6 foot tall and glowing perp into the woods? Sammy: Point taken. Ben: So any other sightings? Troy: Well, not as of yet. But there were so many people they could have had a revival in that parkin’ lot. So I’m guessin’ that’s how word spread so quickly. And without internet too? That’s pretty damn impressive. Sammy: Is there an APB out or anything? Troy: For what, dilly-dallying around with a jumbo jack? He wasn’t doin nothin bad, just acting a fool, Lord forgive me, where he shouldn’t have been. Ben: And glowing. Troy: That’s right. Sammy: Well, please let us know if get any more info on this Troy, we’d appreciate it. Troy: You bet, I’ll be sure to keep you boys in the listen and the public informed. But if you should happen to stumble upon Jesus, do not approach, bother or pester. Just call up ol’ deputy Troy. [hangs up] Ben: ..or your local church. Sammy: Deputy Troy ladies and gents. Now we’re just going to take a quick break and hear from one of our new sponsors: Carl’s Candy. Ben: Yeah I don- I don’t think we should play this Sammy: What? Ads pay the bills remember? Ben: Folks, as a work around with all the tech issues, I went out and recorded a few spots of some of our sponsors, new and old. Emphasis on old after this one. Sammy: Ok so the audio is bad. Ben: You could say that. Sammy: This company’s paid up, they’re scheduled in one of your many notebooks let’s do this. We’ll be right back folks. [ad] Carl: Do you know why they call it a blow pop? I sure do. And if you come on down to Creepy Carl’s Candy, I’ll fill ya up! I mean in, it’ll be our little secret. A sweet tooth is a terrible thing to waste, come find a new sugar daddy to butter your fingers at Creepy Carl’s! Come in and grab a sack of Carl’s Boston baked beans while you’re at it. Oops, one fell in my pocket. Free if you can find it. Every child’s welcome at Creepy Carl’s, big mouths, small mouths, white mouths and brown mouths. We’re equal opportunity! And just because they shut down the ol’ brick and mortar doesn’t mean you can’t buy it from my van. Be sure to ask your parent’s permission first, kids. Creepy Carl’s Candy, where the suckers don’t suck themselves. [Police sirens] Troy: Carl, turn off your ignition. You are too close to the school zone. Carl: I gotta go, catch ya later

??: The mic! [End] Sammy: Never again. Ben: I tried to tell you. Sammy: I know. Let’s never speak about this. Ben: I need a shower. Sammy: Moving forward, we were just talking about a sighting that happened a few hours ago around the 9 o’clock hour just off main street. It seems quite a few people believe that we may be experiencing a religious phenomenon. Perhaps the second coming of– Ben: Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years! Sammy: Right, let’s go to the phone lines. Ben: That was good though right? Sammy: It was good. Good evening, you are live on King Falls AM. Reverend: Ask and you shall receive. King Falls-uh. It is the good Reverend Xavier “Right with God-uh” Hawthorne. Ben: Reverend Hawthorne? Are you back in town? Reverend: The one and only, and we are turnin’ the wagons around as we speak. And we’re heading back to my flock. How’re y’all feelin’ tonight, King Falls? I said How are you, feelin’! Sammy: We’re feeling alright. REVEREND HAWTHORN   Praise God-uh! Hallelujah! Now a little birdie, just chirp’n on my shoulder, told me there was a sighting. A vision. Dare I say it, eyeballs were laid on our Lord and Saviour at a burger joint in our fair city. Sammy: Yeah, about 9 o’clock here. Reverend: Could it be-uh, that our 5 week revival worked. Could it be-uh that our prayers have been brought forth the lamb of God-uh. Can I get an amen! Ben: Reverend Hawthorne w- Reverend: Amen! This miracle-uh, this sight from our God-uh, perched on a mountain of sanctity, says that he is ready to lead-uh, his most highly favored congregation back to the promised land. Have me some organ Deacon Reggie [organ music begins playing in the background] Sammy: Do you think Reggie has to wheel that thing around just in case? Ben: This is getting good. Reverend: Play it dirty brother. We are going home-uh. Take us back to Calvary, take us BACK-uh! Samuel, Benjamin may I ask you gentlemen if you have a relationship-uh with the Author of the eternal salvation; are you saved? Sammy: I’m- Reverend: The let me tell y’all, because if you aren’t-uh, I’m coming back to town, one weekend only, the Xavier “Right with God-uh” Hawthorne Experience will be wheelin’ back into King Falls Fairgrounds this very night-uh. We are hoping to get one-on-one with the Risen Christ and start preparing for Kingdom Come. But just like old Xavier, you gotta come on down-uh so we can get you turnt up with God-uh. [hangs up] Sammy: Xavier? Hello? Ben: He’s, gone. Sammy. Sammy: Well, you heard it here first folks Xavier Hawthorn’s Travelling Roadshow is coming back to town. Will Jack In The Box Jesus make his stage debut? Ben: Jesus. Sammy: Literally. Ben: Do you think we can get an interview? Would it be Mr. Christ? Or- Sammy: Something tells me that there is something more to the story than what we’ve heard so far, Ben. Ben: I get that, but this is King Falls, Sammy. Sammy: What a perfect place to make a return, a rinky-dink town with no internet. Ben: Line -dammit, there’s only one line. Uh, you’re on with Sammy and Ben. Archie: Good evenin’ fellas! Sammy: Is thi- Archie: It’s Archie Simmons! Ben: Hey Archie, how’s Princess Von Barktooth? Archie: Well, I do have news concerning the princess, and I just want to possibly recant some info from our previous call a few weeks back. Sammy: About the werewolves? Archie: Correct. Sammy: Wow, I mean you sounded pretty convinced that you saw a werewolf. Archie: And now I’m saying that maybe I was misinformed. Sammy: I think you should probably tell Troy and the Sheriff’s Office, Archie. Archie: You silly sally, Troy’s already on his way over now Ben: Why the change of heart Archie? Archie: Well, new information has come to light boys, I mean with the Divine One making his triumphant, let’s be honest, dramatic return to King Falls.

Sammy: You’re talking about the glowing man at the Jack In The Box? Archie: Let’s be real here, it’s the J-Man, of course a heavenly carpenter would pick King Falls. So many projects to keep busy with. Sammy: Uh-huh. Archie: Plus with the princess and this new information, we have to believe this. Ben: You keep saying that, what’s going on with the princess Archie? Archie: She’s in a delicate condition. Sammy: Oh, well of course. I mean she’s been through a lot. Archie: No Sammy, I mean that she is with child. Children. Puppies? There’s a bun in the $2400 oven boys! Sammy: Wait, she’s pregnant? From the werewolf attack? Archie: Well, that’s the thing, while I believed in my heart of hearts that the hillbilly beast from the trailer park had gotten to the princess, I think.. Ben: What, what do you think Archie? Archie: I mean it was dark, I know it was a full moon but I was scared and recently awakened, sleep in my eyes etc. and so on. Sammy: You don’t think it was the werewolves. Archie: I’m thinking with this new evidence and the fact that I saw a long-haired bearded man in the biblical act, yeah I think there’s a chance it could have been [whispering] the man upstairs. Ben: Upstairs from whom? Archie: Mankind! Come on Ben get with the preacher. Sammy: He’s saying that because there’s been a holy sighting tonight, which we should all be a little bit doubtful of, then maybe it wasn’t the werewolves, but the Alpha and the Omega. Ben: No! NO WA- That’s too much, Archie. You saw the werewolf. He looked you in the eye and howled at the moon. Archie: I don’t know what kind of weird things Jesus is into. Ben: No way. This is ludicrous. Archie: You just wait and see Ben. Princess may have lost her Westminster dream, all part of God’s plan. Ben: We’ve got to go Archie [laughs] you’re crossing a line that we cannot cross at King Falls AM. Archie: Judge not, lest ye be judged boys. Kardashians 3:16 or a Psalm or something. I think Troy’s coming around the bend anyways boys, laters! [Hangs up] Sammy: You know when I walk in the door every night I say to myself, ‘Nothing’s going to surprise me tonight’ And more times than not, I am just dead wrong. Ben: Let’s give the phone a rest for a moment, Sammy the record player is just begging to be used.

Sammy: Not a bad idea Ben. [notification sound] Ben: What? Oh my phone! [many notifications] Oh it’s back baby! Sammy: Me too! What’s going on? Ben: What’s up! Oh my God, I could literally kiss the apparition of Steve Jobs. Sammy: Hey, I’ve got a text here, unknown number. Ben: Ok, what does it say? Sammy: I know why this happened, I know how to stop it, we need to talk Ben: What? Sammy: No, that’s what the text said. Ben: You don’t think this has anything to do with.. Thank you, Jesus. [credit music plays]

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E2 (Showmance)

Mama Mia, here I go again!

Please don’t tell me this GROWN MAN had his license plate changed to “GLEE” to reflect the high school club he runs. PLEASE.

Rachel brings a whole-ass SUITCASE to school? I know she’s extra by nature but PLEASE.

Finn just Doesn’t Know What Things Are! I adore him. 

You’re really just going to walk by Kurt hanging out by the dumpster with a bunch of dudes who harass him in the hallways? AGAIN? Nice one.

“One day, you will all work for me” I doubt these guys are going to be working up the ranks at Vogue.com, Kurt, but I rate the energy.

Emma you’re better than this dude. Run. Run as fast as your hollow bird pelvis will let you.

SANTANA’S FIRST LINE!!! You’re right, they should get a room. 

For all the creepy obsessing Will’s done so far over the glee kids, you’d think HE would be the one to notice how they don’t have enough members to qualify

Sue points out a bunch of special ed classes, and yet I’m pretty sure she says McKinley has no real support available for special needs students later on? They must be whack classes

These people are really acting like all Will does is coach the glee kids even though he’s literally a Spanish teacher

Early Quinn may be incredibly mean, but like, I’d say thanks if she killed me 

Rachel really has a whole spare outfit ready to change in to post-slushying? I guess that makes sense if it happens that regularly

Cory Monteith REALLY couldn’t dance and we love him for it

Disco didn’t suck until Mr Schue got his grubby little mitts on it

I almost forgot about Kurt’s selection of hats. What is this one? A fez? It’s fez shaped

Why is Kurt so sure they’ll throw fruit specifically? Is that McKinley asshole custom?

Terri’s actress, once again nailing the act of making me want to throttle her

Kendra also nails that.

A “used” house oh my god

THIS ARGUMENT BETWEEN KURT AND MERCEDES IS GOLDEN. “You need to call me before you dress yourself. You loo like a technicolor zebra.” They REALLY match. God I hope they ad-libbed that.

It’s the first rap of the show, folks. 

I hate Mr Schue doing Kanye, I really do, but imagine Finn doing it instead like he planned. Better? Worse? I can’t even tell anymore. 

The LOOK Kurt gives Mercedes when she starts belting out the Jamie Foxx part... Don’t be jealous hon you’ll get your bars. For real though his face is hilarious, he looks like he’s worried she’s about to burst a blood vessel with all that TALENT

Sign #5 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Get your hands OFF of Kurt Will Schuester he doesn’t want to dance! Tbh though I love season 1 Kurt during the group numbers because he just always looks SO done.

Mr Schue’s also wearing a T-shirt that says “DITCH PLANS” on it. Please DITCH the state instead?

KEVIN MCHALE IS THE UNSUNG VOCAL HERO OF THIS WHOLE SHOW AND I WILL NEVER LET ANYBODY FORGET IT

Watching them all sing in a goofy, candid way is honestly healing. 

KURT’S DOING THE SINGLE LADIES RING-HAND MOVE IN THE BACKGROUND THIS BOY REALLY LOVES HIS BEY. Me too Kurt me too

They straight up gave Rachel no gag reflex and had her guidance counsellor make a joke about it? Ok RIB

“Have you ever liked somebody so much you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?” Same girl, same

AAAaaaAAALllLlLLLLLlll BYYYYY MYYY SEEEEeeeEEEEEEEELFFFF.........bY mYsEeElF i’M bY mYsElF

Ok I like Emma but she sometimes kinda sucks at her job

“He doesn’t even notice me” Rachel, hon, he’s probably already warned his neighbours about you

“Gay parents encourage rebellion” PICK A SIDE, SUE! I really can’t keep up with the convenient flip-flopping of her bigotry. And with Jean, you’d think she’d go off on Rachel for calling people “chromosonally-challenged”

Finn, of course you know who Justin Timberlake is... That’s Mr Schue’s hotter, less evil twin!

I love how they have to label Robin Thicke on the poster - you know, because of how awful and irrelevant he was even then?

Half the janitors are just gone. How has this school not been closed down already?

Sign #6 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Mr Schue: I want to build a club where people can express themselves musically Literally every single member: Hello Mr Schue, I’m here to express how much I dislike the music you’re making us perform. Mr Schue: Never talk to me or my fake-unborn-son ever again

Humble, modest Finn going d’aww shucks and telling Rachel to stop complimenting him is adorable. I love him!!!

How could I forget the celibacy club... I almost feel bad for Quinn, he’ like the only person there who genuinely cares about being celibate. I don’t buy that anybody’s convinced that Puck’s a virgin...

The fact that Finn thought joining the celibacy club would get him laid is just... Yeah. It suits him. 

Jacob Ben Israel you will die by my hand you slimy, unforgivable bastard. NOBODY IS OBLIGATED TO GET YOUR DINGER WET, SCUMBAG! Short skirts are not an entitlement!!!

I still don’t know what Puck means when he says “Those skirts are crunchy toast” and I don’t think I want to know.

OH GOD T H E M A I L M A N . . .

Finn Hudson has canonically nearly killed a man and I don’t think anybody talks about that enough.

I beg all of you to look up this scene and listen to the way Finn goes “Ahahaha... Driving’s fun...” Like it just brings me so much joy. What a doofus. 

Carole’s first instinct is to yell “OH MY GOD YOU’VE KILLED HIM WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!” Calm down queen he’s gon be fine

Quinn really hates contraception, huh!

I know your wife is a shit, Mr Schue, but it’s fucking reprehensible to lead on another woman. It’s clearly intentional at this point I’m sorry, you don’t put chalk dust on somebody’s nose like that platonically!

Rachel: We’re going to give them what they want! Kurt: Blood? God I love him

I do love the running gag of Figgins wildly overestimating the excitement for the assemblies tbh

This school doesn’t have working toilets but, hey, on the bright side, all you have to do to get expelled is shit yourself!

“Yay, Glee! Glee kids hooray!” Emma just warms my cockles

Will referring to the glee club and saying “We’re on our way back” like no, old man, you’re not getting clout for this. Then again, neither are any of the students until they’ve graduated...

AHH, PUSH IT! KURT’S HIPS. LOOK AT THEM GO. HE’S SO INTO IT.

I WANT THE FACE SUE MAKES WHEN SHE SEES FIGGINS TAPPING HIS FOOT TATTOOED ON MY HEART

Finn’s face as he gets ready to start his part... He’s so nervous. Bless him...

THE PERFECT TIMING OF KURT SLAPPING HIS ASS. And then the zoom on that fucking fanny pack going crazy this scene is so fucking iconic. That fanny pack has been burned into my retinas forever. 

AND THE WAY HE WOBBLES HIS HEAD AROUND AS HE STEPS BACK. KURT! FUCKING! HUMMEL!

Oh god, now he’s crawling across the floor to Mercedes. I can’t tear my eyes away he’s GOING for it!

They really had Finn and Rachel go that hard? Honestly up until that point, the routine isn’t too overtly sexual, but now I understand why they get in trouble 

I DON’T GET HOW THEY’RE STILL LOOKED DOWN ON AFTER THIS PERFORMANCE! Nearly everybody applauds! RIB just had to have that cake and eat it too. 

I demand Will’s resignation too, Sue

Ah, the approved songs list... That they will proceed to ignore for the rest of the season post the Unholy Trinity’s audition

Sign #7 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He has NO PLACE to be mad at Rachel here. You didn’t listen to any of your students, you wouldn’t compromise, and now they’re going on a sex riot. You did this!

Ken Tanaka you cannot undermine a woman’s self esteem and convince her to settle for you as a second choice, and then complain about feeling like a second choice... WHY do they ever act like he’s a victim here?!

Finn saw that whole-ass picnic set up and didn’t think to ask about it? King. I love one (1) himbo. The way he says “You’re cool, Rachel” just fucks me up every time...

She pours him the TINIEST drink in the world? Girl the cups not even a tenth full and he’s a big boy...

The real OTP is Finn x Airplane Cups

Why does Rachel lie down for the kiss... Is it solely so Finn can have his little overflow at the mayo factory or???

THE MAILMAN SCENE HAPPENS EVERY TIME HE KA-BLAMOS OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET...

Look, Rachel, I get that it sucks that he ran away, but he literally has a girlfriend? You couldn’t have expected things to go that well...

THE UNHOLY TRINITY FORMS... I’M QUAKING

Throwback to how blatantly obvious it was that Santana and Quinn weren’t singing at all. How did they think they’d get away with that...

Brittany’s original sideswept bangs? Ugh. Giving me LIFE.

Dianna’s voice turned me gay. I’m genuinely convinced my sexuality is Quinn Fabray’s fault and I’m not even mad?

By this point we know next to nothing about Santana’s character, but the second Sue suggests sabotage, her face fucking lights up. She’s living for it already 10/10

Will you can’t make Emma tag along to all your janitorial shifts I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re married. And a jackass. 

I know Rachel went behind his back, but there’s no real reason to give Quinn the Don’t Stop Believing solo? She’s talented and incredible and I love her, sure, but it doesn’t suit her voice at all my guy, if you didn’t have biscuits for ears you’d know that...

Is this the only instance where Will takes actual responsibility for the glee club’s actions rather than blaming it all on the kids? Wow... A rare gem.

The way he says “I should never have pushed disco so hard...” All serious like... Get a fucking grip

I can believe that Rachel’s neighbours would sue her for singing all the god damn time

Rachel singing “Take A Bow” is more fitting than I realised. At first I was like, “that’s dumb, Finn doesn’t really realise what he did anyway” but it fits her character to use a song and spin it so she feels empowered by it in the end. Or at least, tries to feel that way.

So there’s episode 2! What a hot mess. We love our hot mess.

[confusedunit]

The Other Side Looks The Goddamn Same - Chapter Two

(crossposted on AO3)

They meet up sooner than Gabriel was expecting. Which is great in theory...but he really wishes it had been literally any other time or place. It's one of the few missions that they need to complete, need with a capitol N, and he's been providing a distraction.

"Heads up, we've got company." Sombra's voice crackles through his comm.

"How much longer is this going to take, Sombra?" He crouches behind a wall, taking count of how many he has left.

"Well, if someone would actually help me instead of sitting on her ass, maybe I could get this open sooner!" She grumbles, before scoffing. "This isn't a vacation, araña, we have to go!"

"Sombra..." He smokes into the fray, firing his shotguns at the guards. He's so focused on going around, taking out his targets, that he doesn't realize something feels wrong until Sombra's voice cuts through the haze.

"Reaps! Think fast!"

Gabriel tenses, glancing around, before he staggers forward as he feels several bullets make a home in his back. He growls, whipping around, shotgun drawn, ready to punish whoever thought they could sneak up on-

His eyes widen under the mask as he realizes that Soldier 76 is the one aiming at him. He lowers his gun.

76 tenses, before he takes off running.

"Motherfucker- Sombra!" He bolts after him. "Do you have things under control?"

"Got it covered. You go after your new best friend."

He growls but doesn't reply, allowing his body to shatter to dust, smoke chasing down his target.

Soldier 76 is crouched down in an alleyway, breathing heavy. He raises his gun when he sees Gabriel getting closer.

"Stand down, asshole." His claws reform on the edge of his hazy frame, and he grabs 76's shoulders, yanking him into a nearby building.

"Hey-" He struggles within the wraith's grip, but as the fog wraps tightly around him he can't break away.

"Shut up." His form is vaguely human shaped behind the other, as he pulls the both of them back against the wall. One of his claws covers the face-plate of 76's mask, the other gripping the man's side. "Don't move."

76's struggle fades, until he's finally still. His rough breathing gives away his fear, but Gabriel doesn't judge him for it.

After a few moments, running footsteps are heard nearby, along with a set of voices.

"He went this way!"

"Chase him down!"

"Priority target nearby, currently in pursuit!"

The two tense, as slow footsteps are heard near the entrance. 76 yanks his arm out of Gabriel's grip, reaching up and tapping the side of his visor before he can be stopped. The visor goes dark.

"He can't be far." One of the Talon grunts speaks from outside. "We should split up. Take out anything that moves nearby."

"Are you kidding??" The other voice replies. "The Reaper went after him! On the one hand, if he can outfight -him-, we have no chance! On the other, you know what happens to those who get in his way! He'll just kill us too!"

"So, what, you want to let Reaper get all the glory?"

"We're not here to show up The Reaper, we're here to re-collect The Widowmaker! We can't find the Soldier, so let's just go back before you get us killed!"

76 tenses a bit more, tilting his head ever so slightly. Gabriel growls in response.

"...Fine. Let's go back. But it's your head that's rolling if we get in trouble." Footfalls trail away, until it's finally silent.

A few moments later, Gabriel finally lets go, coiling away and reforming nearby.

76 lets out a breath as he's let go, reaching up and turning his visor back on. "So, not killing me today, then?"

He rolls his shoulders, taking a step forward, only to startle when the wraith collapses to the floor. "Shit." He crouches down next to him. "What happened?"

"Your fucking bullets happened, that's what." Gabriel growls, pushing himself to sit, hunched over.

"They hurt you this time?"

"They hurt every time."

"You know what I fucking mean." He helps the wraith lean against him.

"I was solid this time, dumbass. Why were you even shooting at me in the first place?"

"We were in the middle of a firefight, and you're mad at me for shooting you."

"Yes!" He glares, even though the mask blocks his face.

"Cry about it." He reaches to his side, unclipping something from his belt.

"Fuck you."

"No thanks."

That catches Gabriel off guard, and he sputters.

76 snickers quietly. "Paying attention now? Because I've got an important question."

"I hate you."

"Can you get the bullets out yourself?"

"Yeah, I can get the fucking-"

"Then do it. And hurry up. Your team'll be looking for you soon."

"They're not my-"

"Enough fighting. Just fucking listen to me, already."

Gabriel yanks himself away, snarling. "This isn't gonna be pretty."

"Wounds never are, Reaper. Hurry up before I change my mind."

His nanites shift and shudder in his back, locating the bullets with ease. A dark viscous liquid drips out of the holes, far too dark to be blood, as the bullets are pushed out of his body. They clink to the ground, before he slumps over again.

A sudden warmth rolls over him in waves, and for a moment he finally feels at ease. It's a feeling he hasn't felt in a long time, and it's only when he hears a soft click and the warmth leaves that he realizes why. He's tense again in an instant. "Where the hell did you get that from."

"I raid Watchpoints, remember? It's called a biotic field. I'm surprised it worked on you." He leans back on his hands. "How's it feel?"

"I'm fine. I don't need your concern." He sits up, rolling his shoulders.

"I'm trying to make up for shooting you, Just...let me, will you?"

"You can make it up to me by not doing it again." Gabriel pushes himself to his feet. "Now get out of here before they find you." He falls to smoke before the other man can reply, flying down the streets.

He moves like a small river, gliding over all the bodies lying in the wake of Talon's mission, pulling every shattered and complete soul that he can find into his frame, trying to forget how content he just felt. It was a moment of weakness, the memory of a time long past, but he can't hide from it. Not like this. In his less physical forms, thoughts and emotions dominate over training and practice.

He aches. Not just from the healed wounds, but from what he remembers. He wanted to hurt 76, when he realized what he'd done. Only one person had ever used those on him, besides himself. He had no fucking right to Jack's old equipment. Who cares if they hadn't been used since the Omnic Crisis? In his mind, they were still Jack's, and only he had the right to use them.

But he can hear a voice in the back of his head, that sounds suspiciously like Jack's, reminding him that Jack would want the equipment to be used to help people. To help Gabriel.

And it hurts. The memories hurt, the thoughts hurt, the feelings of loss and guilt, regret and mourning, threaten to tear him apart-

"Gabriel."

The voice catches his attention, for a moment. He knows that voice. He trusts that voice.

"Mission's over. We're heading home. Get to the extraction point before we leave your sorry ass."

Ah. That explains it. He slowly reforms, looking around. "Sombra..."

"We're on our secure channel. don't panic or anything. I'm not an idiot." She sounds almost slightly concerned, and even that is telling of how badly he had just broken down. "Get over here. Now."

"Understood." He takes one more look around the body filled streets, before he starts the long walk to extraction.

He doesn't trust himself to wraith.

-

Sombra leads him through the halls, once they get back to base. She drops Widowmaker off at the infirmary, before bringing him back to her room.

It's not as sparse as his. A large bed is pushed into the corner, three beanbag chairs in different shades of purple and pink in a pile nearby. Her desk is elaborate in design, covered in various papers and parts from her translocator.

"Sit down." she finally speaks after the door is shut. "Mask off. Coat off. Persona, off."

"I don't owe you anything." It's a halfhearted retort, and he knows it. He takes off the coat, dropping it on the floor in a pile. He drops the mask on top, before he slowly shambles over and collapses into the dark pink chair.

She picks up the pile, moving the items somewhere else. He doesn't care to notice. She returns, draping a grey blanket over his shoulders.

"I'm not fragile, Sombra." He pulls the blanket tighter around him.

"Shoes off." She crosses her arms.

"I'm not wearing your stupid-"

"Shoes. Off."

He sighs, pulling them off and throwing them across the room. He pulls his legs onto the chair, wrapping the blanket fully around himself.

"Thank you." She moves to the door. "Wait here." She leaves before he can reply.

He sighs again, slumping over slightly. There are few people he trusts, in the world. Far fewer who he would let see him in such a state. Sombra's managed to make her way onto both of those lists. It would unsettle him, how quickly she had, if he still cared enough about anything like that.

She had figured out who he was quickly, cornered him, and torn into him. Shouted, lashed out, screamed in his face, because here was the one man who could have fucking done something for her home, alive after everyone else was dead, and why hadn't he done anything? It was the one and only time he had ever seen Sombra 'break character' so aggressively, letting her persona drop as she finally found someone who deserved her rage.

He had told her everything. Gradually, over time, but he had told her nonetheless. About the UN, about his team's betrayal, about his new mission.

About Jack.

They worked together ever since. They made their own terms, but they would stick together. No matter what. Because the two of them were all that they had.

He looks up when Sombra returns, carrying two mugs. The door shuts behind her, and she sighs, handing him a mug. "Here."

"Sombra..."

"It's not lemon." She knew some of the things that would set him off, like this. "Or grey." He appreciates the gestures, more than she could ever understand. Or...maybe she did. "It's white hibiscus."

"...Thanks." He looks down into the cup.

She sits next to him, after grabbing a large stuffed bear. She adjusts to rest her arms around it, still holding her cup of tea. "...You want to tell me what that was all about?"

He takes a small sip, still looking into the liquid.

"...I haven't seen you get like that since Dorado."

What a mess that had been. Taking out some members of Los Muertos had been the plan, taking care of a few of Sombra's 'loose ends'. And it had gone fine, until the explosion that shook half the area interrupted them. They had gone into a store the next day, undercover, to try to find out more about the blast. He hadn't been prepared to hear the kid inside talking so excitedly about heroes to anyone who would listen to her. It felt like she had described a ghost.

He had held it together until they had gotten back to their safehouse.

"...I thought about him, again." His voice is quiet, not growling like usual, but rough from the emotion he's trying to restrain. "About Jack."

"Why?"

"Soldier 76." His shoulders slump. "He had biotic emitters."

"Why did that remind you of him?"

"They were Jack's. Back...during the crisis. He always carried them to patch us up in the field. He had worked with Ana at first, to develop them then. After the war, he worked with Ange- ...Mercy. With Mercy. She was always credited for them, but the original concept was his." He takes a rough breath. "...He took them from a Watchpoint. Used one to patch me up."

"...You haven't used one since Jack, have you."

"No. I didn't want to touch anything that had been his."

"That explains it..." She looks away. "You were lost for almost half an hour, before I pulled you back, you know."

"I was with-"

"No. I mean lost in thought." She looks back at him. "Was wondering if you ever were going to come back."

"...Sorry I worried you."

"I don't want an apology. You didn't do anything wrong. I just thought you should know."

He slowly nods. "...Thank you, Som."

"No te preocupes, Gabe." She smiles. "No problem."

[_]

Soldier 76 makes it back to his safe-house without any other trouble. He moves quietly, mechanically, closing the door, pulling off his shoes, hanging up his jacket, walking to his bed. He pulls off his mask, running a hand through his hair as he drops the armor to his side. He pulls off his visor, too, rubbing at his eyes as he sits down. It hurts, it hurts so badly, and for a moment he tries to maintain his strictness, tries to remain 76.

But he can't stop the tears falling down his face, and he's Jack before he even realizes it. He hunches over, curling around himself, pressing his hands to his face as if that will stop the pain.

It started with his retort to The Reaper, his playing off the man's anger as flirtation, and he regretted it as soon as he had spoken. It flowed easily, just like back then, and it felt like a knife in his chest. Things just kept piling up, after that. The banter felt too close, too much like home. He hadn't used the fields on anyone else in years, only on himself, and barely even that. It felt like had broken something, some small rule that never had been, when he had used it on The Reaper. But he always cared too much; he had hurt him, and had been protected by him anyway. He needed to make up for his mistake.

He took a shuddering breath. How long had that been his mantra? Fixing his mistakes was the only reason he was still around. The only reason he hadn't given up and joined his husband six feet under. He owed him that much.

A part of him disagrees, insisting it wasn't his mistakes that he was making up for, urging him to keep going anyway. It sounds like Gabriel's voice.

It takes him a while to ground himself, but eventually he pulls his hands away from his face. The tears keep falling, but he reaches under his pillow, grabbing the leather bound book underneath. He knows it's dangerous to carry, but he doesn't care. He can't care. Not about himself. Not anymore.

He leaves the visor off, even as he flips through the pages, struggling to find where he left off. He picks up his pen, lining himself up as best as he can, before he starts to write.

'Gabriel,' He begins, 'I...thought about you again, today...'

[askthenewhopespeak]

Daichi knocked on Natalie’s dorm door. “Hey, Martinez, are you in? I have a proposition for you!”

Natalie groggily stood up, before opening the door. “Hm? What is it? If it involves death, security, or helping Munakata off the lawn, count me out.”

“No, this is actually fun. You mentioned wanting to buy a blazer, right?” Daichi fished around in his pocket for his wallet, before flashing it out. “I have some money and I really feel like going to the mall. Want to come with?”

Natalie grinned. “You’re driving,” she said, stepping out of her room, closing and locking it behind her

Daichi laughed. “Alright, c'mon.” He guides her towards a car before climbing in. “Hope Hijirihara isnt going to need this anytime soon,” he murmured.

“Fuck ‘im,” she said, getting in the passenger side. She buckled up, grinning.

Daichi backed out, driving towards the mall. “You can play whatever you want. My sister used to play all types of music, so I’m basically desensitized to it all.”

Natalie shrugged, plugging her phone into the aux. “Kidzbop it is.”

“Oh… wow, your taste is even worse than hers,” Daichi mumbled, holding back a laugh.

Natalie laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m kidding. I’ll probably just put on my playlist that covers pretty much everything, so sorry if you don’t understand all of it.”

“That’s fine. I find it easier to drive if I listen to something,” Daichi said, sparing a quick glance to natalie.

Natalie nodded, pressing play. The song began playing, clearly metal. She grinned, leaning back in her seat.

Daichi tapped a finger to the beat, but he focused on the road. Even despairs could be safe drivers.

Natalie started singing along when the vocals began, the language sounding vaguely like clearing your throat.

“Huh… what language is that?” Daichi asked, slowing to a stop at the light.

“German,” she said, turning to look at him. “German’s a bit weird to learn to pronounce, but it was probably easier for me because I learned it later down the line.”

“Damn… how many languages do you speak?”

Natalie furrowed her eyebrows, beginning to count on her fingers. She began muttering under her breath, saying, “Let’s see, German, Italian, Russian, Spanish, English, Japanese, Korean, and bits and pieces of Texan. So…7-ish?”

“Texan is a language? I thought it was just an accent in America?” Daichi asked.

“I wish I could agree, but they have a whole other language. You haven’t truly lived until you’ve heard someone say ‘y'all'dn’t’ve unironically,” she said, scrunching up her nose.

“They don’t actually say that right?” Daichi’s face instinctively scrunched when he heard her say that horrible abomination. “Because that’s outrageous.”

“Yall'dn’t’ve and y'aint. Two very real things I heard when I was living in Texas,” she said, sighing.

“How do you delete Texas? I have to save the rest of the world from those word abominations.” Daichi turned. He was pretty sure this was the right way to the mall.

Natalie laughed. “Hey! It’s not all bad. Some good food came from Texas.”

“Yeah? Maybe it can redeem itself yet.” Daichi took another turn.

Natalie nodded, looking out the window. She couldn’t really think of much else to talk about.

Daichi sat in silence as well, letting the music wash over him. Soon enough, they reached the mall.

Natalie smiled, waiting for him to park before getting out. “So, where are we gonna start?”

“I was thinking we get your blazer first, since I have no idea what kind of coat I want yet,” Daichi said. He shrugged. “Or we can scour stores for the perfect coat.”

Natalie shrugged. “I was probably just gonna yank a student one from Naegi. We could just wander.”

“Wandering sounds nice. Relaxing, even,” Daichi said. He started to walk inside, letting the chill of the store sink in.

Natalie followed, glancing around. “Man, I haven’t been to this one yet. This is nice.”

“I don’t think I’ve been to a mall in years. I don’t even know where to begin really,” Daichi said, still walking through the store.

“Well, do you want to showcase just how edgy you are and find the entirety of Harajaku crammed into a single store?” She asked, gently elbowing him.

“Yeah, fuck it, let’s get edgy here. Lead the way, dear edgelady,” Daichi grinned.

Natalie grinned. “Jesus, are you going to get, like, a trench coat?”

“Hey, I might just look great in a trench coat. We don’t know yet, do we?” Daichi snorted. “We’ll just have to see.”

Natalie rolled her eyes, walking to the edgiest store in sight. “God, I feel my 13 year old self nodding in approval.”

“Well, get ready for her to lose her mind. I think we should both find the edgiest things in the store and then try it on,” Daichi said,“See who is the true edge master.”

Natalie narrowed her eyes. “You’re on.” She walked into the store, ignoring anything that wasn’t jet black.

Daichi grabbed a spiked collar. This was a terrible idea. He regretted it already, but he still kept searching through the store.

Natalie found a collar, belt, and combat boots. She put on a black hoodie, snickering.

Daichi put on the black gloves he found, alongside a trench-coat, spiked collar, and matching headband. He found the skinniest jeans he could find before running to the changing room.

Natalie bought some black lipstick, running to the bathroom. She put it on, before putting the rest of her mix-n-match hell outfit on.

Daichi stepped out, feeling his poor decisions much more personality. He bought some nail polish and eyeliner, putting it on as quickly as he could, admittedly not that well.

Natalie headed out of the changing room, waiting for Daichi.

Daichi walked over to Natalie. “What do you think?” His outfit was a bizarre mix of spiked collars and headbands, dark eyeliner, a trench coat, and the tightest skinny jeans in the store. He blew on his still drying nails.

Natalie’s jaw literally dropped. “You look like my 13-year-old self’s wet dream,” she said, covering her mouth in awe.

“How badly do you think the other two on security would react if I started wearing this to work?”

“I would start crying. I would actually, physically, cry,” she said, trying to hold back laughter. “But, in all seriousness, the trench coat doesn’t look bad on you. And, with a little work, you could rock eyeliner.”

“You think so? I might actually buy the trench-coat then. And as for your outfit…”

Natalie shrugged. “I couldn’t find enough fishnet in my size.”

“I dare you to wear that on patrol tomorrow,” Daichi snorted.

“If you wear that spiked collar and wink when someone asks what it’s for, I’ll do it.” “Deal.” Daichi outstretched his hand for a handshake.

Natalie spit in her hand, holding it back out for him as well. “Seal the deal, bucko.”

Daichi spits in his as well, shaking hers. “Let’s do this.”

Natalie grinned, going to buy everything. “I’ll tease my hair if you straighten yours and give yourself emo bangs.”

“Oh easy peasy. This is going to be pure gold.”

Natalie could barely hold back her laughter. “Oh my god, what are they going to say?”

Daichi smirked before mimicking Hijirihara’s voice. “The hell are you two doing?”

Natalie held her stomach, doubling over. “Oh my god. That’s spot on!”

Daichi cleared his throat before attempting to mimic Sly’s. “We’re supposed to be serious. We’re the only security here.”

Natalie followed his lead, mimicking Kirigiri. “You two are on duty. What are the kids going to think when they see their only protection walking around like this?”

“Uh, Maruyama, Martinez… are you sure you can do your job dressed like that?” Daichi said, mimicking Naegi.

“I know I’m not here to judge your life choices, but are you sure this is how you want to look? You two…I’m not sure this is the right way to mourn Nakajima,” Natalie said, moving her hair around to imitate Kyoji.

Daichi bent over laughing. “That one was good. Really good.”

Natalie grinned, cracking up herself. “Oh my god, this is gonna be pure gold.”

“Ten bucks says they threaten to fire us once.”

“Ten bucks says Kirigiri actually fills out the paperwork.”

“Ten bucks says Hijirihara almost signs it too.”

Natalie was crying from laughter at this point. “Oh my god, oh my god-”

“I’m going to lose my job for a joke.” Daichi laughed, tears coming to his eyes.

Natalie grinned. “I’m gonna get arrested because I made an OC named Dark Deathrage when I was 13.”

“Oh god, was that just a thing 13 year olds did?” Daichi took a deep breath before laughing again.

Natalie nodded. “Oh my god, yeah. I had an OC that was a super weeb OC. I regret everything I’ve ever done.”

“I can’t believe this,” Daichi mumbled, wiping at his eyes. “Wow.”

“I’m the problematic one, I admit it. I lived in Texas and had weeb OCs, I’m the worst.”

“Christ, no. This is just a 13 year old thing. I think all of us were terrible.”

“Fair. Anyway, what do you say we keep looking through this dumb mall? Get some food?”

“Sounds great. Lead the way.” He said. Daichi paid quickly after changing and left the store.

Natalie smiled, heading out of the store. “Or do you wanna head back and make homemade slushies?”

“Slushies sounds even better honestly. Let’s do that,” Daichi said, pulling the trench coat on.

Natalie smiled. “Alright. Let’s head back. You’re driving again, and we’re listening to Kidzbop Bring Me To Life.”

“I’m sure it’s a masterpiece. Did 13 year old you like it?” Daichi said, heading back to the car.

“No, I was too hipster for that. I didn’t listen to Evanescence because it was too popular.”

“I see,” Daichi laughed. Once they reached the car, he slid back into the driver’s, flinging his stuff into the back.

Natalie set her stuff beside his, ducking into the passenger’s.

“Alright, hit me with it. I’m ready.” Daichi said, backing out.

Natalie started playing it, trying to hold back laughter.

“Oh fucking hell, I take it back, this is the worst,” Daichi said, trying to keep his eyes on the road.

“How DARE you insult it like this. This is a fucking masterpiece.”

“You’re trying not to laugh. I’m not even sure what they’re saying half the time and I can tell it’s bad.”

“Fuck you, this is great. This is my favorite song.”

“Oh yeah? If it is, you’ll play it everywhere you go tomorrow.”

“I sure as hell will,” she said, grinning ear to ear.

“What have I done,” he mumbled, heading back to the school.

Natalie grinned, turning to him. “You better prepare for tomorrow. Now, gimme a cig and let’s get back.”

Daichi fumbled with the pack before handing it to her. “Take your pick.”

Natalie took one, pressing the lighter in. She stuck the cig in her mouth, waiting for it to finish heating up.

Once it was done, Daichi lit it quickly. “Can you pass me one, and light it?”

Natalie nodded, handing him one.

“Thank you,” he said, lighting it before driving on. “How pissed do you think Hijirihara will be about the smell?”

Natalie shrugged. “Probably hound us, but the guy’s too soft now. All he’ll do is tell us to fuck off.”

Daichi laughed. “Yeah probably.”

Natalie nodded. “Y'know, maybe we can chill for a while. At least, until I have to deal with whatever bullshit you’re planning. Keep it a bit tame, please? Just this once.”

“No promises. Now to get those slushies?”

Natalie nodded. “Hell yeah.”

[ichoiheedong]

A Fusion Of A Cold Love pt.9 (Jungkook ) M

“BTS member : jungkook x reader

                      :Jungkook ft.Namjoon

genre: angst/smut/ mature contents / rough sex

summary : it’s killing for a little girl to grow up poor after being a rich spoiled kid ,and it’s more killing when you lost your dad for this reason but being a pretty independent woman who will take what was hers again will be something really hard to get specially when the man who has every thing was jeon jungkook the ice prince …

masterlist

part 1  part2  part3  part4  part 5  part 6  part7  part8

hold your breath girls kkkk!! let’s gooooo

 well i’m glad to tell you you’re ok Mr jungkook you could do your daily activities but not the hard of them your shoulder still need a period of time to be totally fine “ jungkook’s physician explained to him and you were actually the one who was listening carefully asking the doctor about what kind of things he could do and if he could go to gym and when it looks really cute for him how you were taking notes and trying to memorize the doctor words   

he liked that side of you , caring 

“well we can go celebrate now right,? you said and jungkook turned looking at your hyper glad face and he chuckled 

“let’s go home first to take a rest before going out 

“cool but first i need some groceries ,your mom asked me to buy for her “

“why does she ask you jungkook frowned he knew there is at least 10 maid in his house 

“we are kinda close this days you said when your hand reached the car door “

fixing your seat belt”is it weird for us to be ? “

jungkook chuckled “it’s great where shall i take you now ?”

some where called a moll 

-

jungkook was wearing a beanie and a timberland he looked like a hot star in his outfits you liked every details in him actually and for many reasons you enjoyed seeing him here out of paper works and without a neck tie , he looked relaxed and young he looked full of life walking and looking every where to the different shops,when suddenly caught you staring at him 

you blushed looking away feeling that your face became a red tomato you cursed and squeezed your bag 

jungkook chuckled and dragged you to one of the shops and it turned to be an accessory shop

you felt dizzy as this kind of place didn’t suit you you were looking at how much beautiful this kind of soft chains were when jungkook came closer checking the one you were staring at 

“it looks really nice  i’m wondering how it will look on you y/N ah 

“i’m not buying it, i was just looking here and there 

“excuse me! jungkook called for the girl and she smiled hugely coming to see his request 

“can i get this necklace he said and she immediately brought it for him using her white gloves

the precious stone looked so beautiful in jungkook’s hands 

i will take it please pack it  

your eyes widened “why did you do this i said i don’t want it 

it’s for Hana Noona” jungkook looked at you innocently “ she adore emeraldand i think she will like it a lot , did you think i bought it for you ?who would i when you said you don’t want to !”

your lips parted slightly seeing him giving his credit card to the seller you bit your lips “why the hell did i open my fucking mouth idiot!!”

the whole way home you were so calm you didn’t speak with jungkook who was resting in the back seat with you quietly 

the driver parked the car and you didn’t him to come open your door as you rushed out going upstairs to the room 

you were an idiot once more thinking jungkook came to check you but it seemed he didn’t care as an hour passed while you were laying uncomfortably in the bed until you slept 

-

it was 8 pm when you woke up you sighed staring around to see no one but the walls around you  sighing again but this time loudly you walked towards the bathroom and took a hot shower you didn’t feel jungkook when he came to the room the way you nonchalantly wrapped the short towel around your body and went out hair wet and half naked 

you used the fresh towel to tie your hair up and went straight to the dressing

“the hot breath burning your bare wet shoulder made your hand froze before it reached the shirt you were looking for 

you gulped feeling hurt , you didn’t want him to be here now 

“what do you want you coldly said without turning to him but that didn’t stop him from hugging your back  you bit your lips thinking of him sucking your skin the time his chin rested there on your shoulder 

“you said you want to go out let’s go now he said still hugging you

“i’m tired let’s do it an other time jungkook “you coldly replied him and he smirked gently kissed your neck up to your ear 

“you will regret refusing going out with me ,he said while every time trailing kisses in your skin 

you tried to get your self together and turned to him 

“what do you think i will really get mad or jealous if you just went out without me !!”you yelled eyes like blood shoot but your reaction never hit him he stood there looking really cool your way to argue with him was cute and sexy at the same time 

jungkook’s hands suddenly grabbed your towel and you gasped following his hand that grabbed it tightly until you stuck in his chest , you tried to make it steady even you were blushing hard but you didn’t want to lose in front of his eager yes 

“aren’t you going to get jealous when i will come home late drunk and full of women fragrance ? you know they could do a lot for a man like me 

trying not to cry you struggled to free your self hitting his chest “let me go i need to change and sleep 

“tell me he said gripping you more 

“i will not be ,you know i never got jealous about you before and you know literally why we got married so why would i you spat trying to be the winner out of this fray 

jungkook looked deeply in your eyes it was the first time you couldn’t read them his eyes were dark 

“good to hear that “he said loosening his grip around your waist and you gripped the towel feeling cold “is it ok with you knowing that i’m fucking an other woman?” he said staring in your eyes but you turned again to bring clothes you need neglecting him the tears were threatening you to fall but you fought them when a cold soft material touched your collar bone your eyes widened and you looked again to the necklace jungkook bought earlier 

oh shit it was a fucking joke was he trying to test you 

“wear a nice dress and come down stairs my parents are waiting for us 

before you could protest jungkook was out and you didn’t wait so long to choose a dress and to dry your hair 

you ran the stairs going straight to the dinning room 

your mother in low was saying how much pretty you were but all you were focusing with was your quiet husband eating his dinner calmly he didn’t even look at you

-

both your parents in low went out after dinner for a date you chuckled seeing your mother in low wearing her elegant coat and cloves ,god she was gorgeous and you were finally alone with jungkook now 

he was planning to leave the room when you blocked his way looking deeply in his orbs you saw him standing there his lips were kissable and his chest was calling you to rest your head on it and that was what you did 

you stepped toward him and hugged him and you felt his hand circling your waist 

“thank you “

jungkook chuckled “i’m sorry because i teased you i was just planning to let you know that it’s ok to get any thing you want you’re not any girl ,you’re jeon jungkook’s girl 

“i don’t need fancy things you whispered 

“i know jungkook said and stopped his thoughts dragged him to the first period he knew you you looked really elegant and classy , you never asked him for a car or any thing for some reasons he wished that so he will treat you well but that was never your goal and jungkook knew that 

“what about a movie night ?” he suggested and you looked happily meeting his eyes, you  nodded and hurried to choose something while jungkook brought the drinks and headed to your shared room 

-

“i’m coming tomorrow “

your eyes popped out and you quickly deleted the  text you received from Namjoon 

you hated him and you didn’t know how to get out of this trouble now you looked again to the other side where jungkook was sleeping soundly 

it was 6 am and you couldn’t now do any thing ,you panicked thinking of what could he do 

leaning on and hugged junkook again you closed your eyes and felt a heart ache ,he can’t say the truth to jungkook can he? he can’t deprive you from this bless ;opening your eyes every morning to see this beauty and kiss him no no no

jungkook felt how much your body was rigid and he blinked lazily 

“what’s the mutter baby? he hissed his voice still raspy and you just hugged him tighter 

“jungkook even if something happened please don’t hate me “

“what’s happening in the morning he checked his phone “it’s fucking early !! y/N did you see a nightmare  

you gulped trying to cover your self as you were only wearing a bra 

“yeah it was a bad nightmare “

-

jungkook was supposing to be at his office the whole day so you didn’t have any difficult to try talk to your ex you wanted to let him know that you will give him the papers but he needed to promise that he will never try hurt jungkook again but Namjoon giggled he was an evil why the hell you trusted him before 

fuck you cursed and threw your phone away 

jungkook called you several times to inform you he will be out in a work trip for tonight but you didn’t hear so he just left you a text that you saw when you checked your phone later

“good it’s better that he will not be here while Namjoon is coming shit!! what kind of coincidence is this!!

“let’s meet at my place “ it was namjoon next text and you were frozen but you couldn’t refuse it will be safe seeing him there 

driving your car to your old place  you took files Namjoon needed and you decided to make some deals with him ,well even he will say yes you weren’t ready to give up so you just hided some information he had to pay for what he did 

it was 8 pm and all you told your mother in law was you had to stay in your other home the one you and kook use and she didn’t say no 

you lied telling her you needed to work and asked her to tell jungkook if he called 

Namjoon was wearing a black long coat and his hair color was little bit different 

he looked hot and manly as usual but for you nothing was special in him he wasn’t jungkook...

“long time no see baby “

“this is the files you need take them and please go “ you said and  he giggled loudly 

“are you telling me to get out of my own apartment !! nice try i like your protective personality when it comes to your beloved ones 

“ you know what i mean oppa ! 

“it’s great you remember i’m oppa to you and you didn’t even give oppa a welcome kiss he said stepping towards you you weren’t a good fighter 

“do you think jungkook will let you as his wife when he found out you are the one who ruined him?

“it’s not your business “

“how come when i’m preparing a nice castle for you in america waiting you to finish this shit and just come back to me huh!!”

you stepped back until your feet touched the bed “stop there !! you yelled 

“well i’m not planning to do it tonight as i have an important meeting but we will have fun next time ok 

“what about jungkook you whispered and he just sat next to you on his bed “well baby , he stopped to get a cigarette and he started “i can promise you to let him alive if you left him immediately 

you gulped feeling dizzy you never liked smoking smell “give me time “

“deal i’m going now see you later ..aah California it’s where the castle is he said and left you 

hugging your legs to your chest  you sobbed loudly feeling hurt you loved jungkook so much he was the best with you he treated you like a woman 

your fingers ran to touch the necklace and you sobbed hard you need to left him so he will be safe 

tired dizzy and sad you slept hugging your self until you heard a furious knocks in the door and you immediately jumped hearing the familiar voice

you opened the door and jungkook pushed you in he was fucking angry you even didn’t see this side of him before he was know as a cold man

“why are you here ?you innocently asked and he stopped looking at you 

“what did you think i’m spending the night outside so you can do whatever you want here ??

you backed up eyes widened “i .. i came here to take something and i felt asleep i wasn’t planning to stay ? is this why are you angry you lied and hurried to the room searching for your phone 

“let’s leave if you want”

  jungkook didn’t hear you as his eyes fixed on the bed you looked where he looked and you didn’t understand until you saw him picking up something and you chugged

“it was Namjoon golden lighter!! shit you cursed

“jungkook you whispered “

“did you have a good time ?”jungkook asked and you were frozen and tired already 

“i’m fucking asking you?? since when Kim Namjoon was here? 

you gasped , suddenly the air was thick and your lungs stopped exchanging oxygen

“h..how do you know him?? 

jungkook smirked “i know every thing since you came to my office that day 

and i waited you to change but i think you were that kind of bitches who only run after money ,i know that jerk never forget that i beat him in every thing he hated me since we were in the same college ; he was smart but i was golden he hated me and hated seeing me getting better scores in every thing  and you were helping him to ruin me and even i found out i married you because i wanted to give you a chance because i felt something towards you but you don’t deserve any thing y/N , i was expecting you stabbing my back any way why would i feel chocked now!! 

you didn’t spell out any damn word you kept tearing up chock growing up more in your mind 

“it’s over y/N, you can come home to get back your things you don’t have to worry i will not be there “ jungkook said smirking smugly throwing the lighter in your face “take it maybe it will wipe your fake tears 

the door shut finally and you fell down your tears were over you couldn’t even cry more 

“it was over jungkook has gone ...

someone give me cold water please