#listen i got addicted to this fucking show and this has to exist

[conan-christopher]

please, please, please let me get what I want

see the luck I’ve had, can make a good man bad

homelander x oc

multiple chapters

rating: explicit - sex and violence

ao3 / wtt / Q

[0alix0]

Overusage of Lore

a lot of people tend to say that bioware put little to no lore into Veilguard, and i might be on a minority on this to me it's way too much and way too shallow

The entire game feels like writers just scream at you "Look at all the magical thing we have!! So we have Titans! And Evanuris! And Illuminati Those Across the See! And-- are you listening? You better listen cuz there are more! We have Shadow Dragons! We have Griffons! We--"

OMG calm down it's not a fucking Warcraft

the best thing in DA was the way it beautifully showed real life issues through the lens of medieval fantasy world.

The dalish weren't so fascinating because they had an entire language made for them and pretty tattoos. They were fascinating because they were enslaved, fought for freedom, then got their land taken away YET STILL continued to fight for survival, for their cultural identity, their children and their children's children, for freedom. Literally combination of native american's and jewish history. Because despite having one goal they all had different approach and opinion about other of their kin: city elves (those disconnected from their culture) and half-elves ("can they be considered elves?" "should they be allowed to be a part of dalish?").

The city elf origin wasn't so memorable because every npc had a backstory with a length of bible. It was memorable because it was the most obvious analogy on racial oppression, segregation, colonialism and fetishism in the entire franchise. Because it had the guts to actually show in details the horrors of these things.

Broodmothers weren't so horrifying because it's a female mixture of jubba hutt and a fucking pudge from dota with a detailed explanation their anatomy. They were horrifying because they were paralleling a very real misogyny, mistreatment, the way how women in some countries are seen as nothing but a walking uteruses, where the only thing they're good for is to give birth

AND bioware doubled it while doing the same thing with Orzammar, cast system & Rica!

The Circles weren't so interesting because we've got dozens of pages in WoT explaining their hierarchy/fraternities. No, they were interesting because it was literally a bunch of medieval GULAGs with a function of a mental hospital, it showed what mistreatments happen there, the abuse, child abduction and enforcement of religion.... And from the side of templars it was a discussion about professional deformation, addictions and the way high ranking people abuse those to control their underlings.

..... And you know, if we were back in origins, griffons, for example, would've probably been used as a parallel on irl eco terrorism. it might've been about how Wardens despite their good nature unintentionally bonded the general association of the entire animal species to their order and abused this connection to the point when the species was beyond preservation!

and btw, then that decision in davrin's quest would actually had any meaning, instead of throwing wardens into mud (again) and turning isseya into a villain for no fkn reason.

lore is only good as long as it's used for purpose, when it has things to discuss, not just exist

i don't fucking care about titans/evanuris/and other shit because they're just a 30 pages long article in codex and WoT trying to explain magic and write DA timeline almost to a fucking mesozoic era. it's BORING. Get me emotionally invested, then i'll care

[archivedblog16]

To HB credit, Brandon did the bulk of the writing for s1 and established that these characters are friends or at least chummy with each other. Than s2 happened and it’s been the stolas cry baby show ft fizz.

In HH none of the characters moments are earned. They all just sit (I swear to god there’s more time of them sitting and doing nothing than there is of them actually doing something) react to shit happening around them or wait for the story to happen. I don’t get friendship strangers who are forced to live with a coddled sheltered rich woman and her codependent gf. Angel and Cherri are established as “friends” but all Cherri did was call Angel a nerd for not taking drugs and caring too much for nifty. Didn’t do shit when valentino was hitting Angel. Husk is just there to guilt trip Angel for taking drug and being promiscuous, sir p gets shitted on by all these assholes I legit got mad when they cried and acted like they cared. (Fuck all of you, you didn’t treat sir p with respect) nifty is also just there to be funny, I guess. She didn’t make me laugh she got annoying real quick. Alastor is the worst fucking character, I don’t wanna get into a rant about him but he sucks so fuckimg hard. Angel is ok, would’ve been nicer if we saw him actually progress and if his “friends” cared he was getting SA’d on a daily basis but they don’t care, if they did we would get more poison mv. Vaggie exist to serve Charlie, which sucks because she had so much potential but she’s a nothing burger and Charlie is just a selfish brat who cries till people give her what she wants and tells her she’s great when she isn’t

Yeah, during season 1 Brandon carried in more ways than one especially guiding Vivziepop. Vivziepop admittedly has her moments in season 1 where she can read the room. Honestly, in retrospect for Helluva Boss season 1 and 2 regarding the IMP gang I see them being more chummy/tolerating each other than being friends.

They had their moments I will admit but most of the questionable stuff they do each other feels more out weighed than the good. Luciferanalyzestar and Tooningin say it best:

If Stolas and by extension Stoliz drama wasn’t hogging all the screen time, IMP could’ve been something more. As for Hazbin Hotel they can pretend all they want how close and how they care for each other but their actions and dialogue say otherwise. In the pilot and addict while Cherri was a bad influence in a different way, she had a heart of gold, and cared for Angel. Now in the show, she is shallow.

I guess Cherri Bomb is a nerd by her logic for caring about Angel Dust and trying to take care of him in Addict. Yeah, Angel Dust’s arc is super rushed and don’t get me started on the timeline of it, it’s extremely janky the more you think about it. The aftermath scene of Valentino and Angel Dust in episode 6 was crazy. Cherri and Husk didn’t even help, they just stood there then once Angel Dust walks away from Valentino, now these chumps want to do something and do the bare minimum by congratulating him.

If Angel Dust’s arc is rushed, then Sir Pentious is a background character. Not only was his character development nonexistent but no one attempted to helped him or even try to wonder where he was. They just forgot about him. The most tonal whiplash, Vivziepop love her cake and want to eat it too. Haha, Anons never change it’s so funny when y’all drag Charlie.

With Vaggie there is so much you can do with her character and story wise, it’s not even funny. She’s not even my favorite yet I can think of so much. If Vivziepop and writers are going to go with the direction like purposefully have be Charlie’s bootlicker only for her to realize she’s been following orders her own life then slowly does things outside of Charlie. Then Yeah, I would love that. I really hope isn’t completely static.

Series Alastor will always be a loser bum, but the fans will eat it up. I wouldn’t mind listening to some Alastor slander. 😗

[jebbzfixations]

There is a LOT going on in s2 ep16 that I could talk about. The show makes a heavy-handed, but earnest attempt to have a conversation about race. It feels very early 2000s, which is when colorblind ideology was pretty much the most popular manner of thinking. I suppose that’s still what a lot of people would rather defer to because it’s a lot easier than acknowledging intersectionality and structural oppression, but that’s a long conversation that exists outside of this fucking crime show from the 2000s. What I was thinking about most during this episode was HOLY SHIT WHY IS REID AT WORK?! You’re telling me this young agent with a fragile psyche who literally got kidnapped and tortured is expected to go back to his job?? Almost the entire episode, no one ever says, “hey man, you should go home!” Because I know based on the end that Reid most likely fought to not take a leave of absence, but just because someone wants to work doesn’t mean they should. Having a guy who just went through a brutally traumatic event go right back to his continuously traumatic job is actually dumbfounding. Maybe it’s just the social worker in me but goddamn this man needed at least six months of therapy before going back to work. Season one literally starts with Gideon having been on a sabbatical for something that comparatively was not as directly traumatic (would never compare trauma like this in real life, but it’s a TV show) and yet Reid just goes back to work?? Listen I know it’s a show and TV got to TV but damn he really should be anywhere but the damn BAU. The last few minutes also made me upset. I love you, Morgan, but come on. He goes up to a guy who has gone through something life-altering and gets him to open up, which is good, but as soon as he does, he shoots him down. It actually reminds me of Reid’s conversation with Elle at the beginning of the season, except that conversation was rightfully painted as unhelpful. Here, Morgan tells Reid to use his trauma to make himself a better agent and a better person, and that his feelings all boil down to empathy. But that’s not true. Reid never didn’t have empathy for the victims. Maybe not to the level he has now, but it’s not like it wasn’t there before. Morgan’s wrong. What Reid is feeling isn’t empathy, it’s fear. There’s a huge difference. The closeness he now has to victims isn’t on a level such as empathy because empathy still implies a level of disconnection. Reid was a victim. He’s having PTSD episodes. You wouldn’t ask a coal miner who survived a cave-in to “get back in there!” I’m conflicted on the tone of this ending. Because Reid kind of sarcastically smiles (imo) and says “a better person” like it’s the most bullshit response he’s ever heard. And yet the episode plays this sort of cheery, triumphant music. Now, things will get worse rather than better for Reid here on out, so I’ll give the show the benefit of the doubt and hope it understands that Morgan was completely unhelpful. But Reid’s PTSD and drug addiction will eventually get swept under the rug. Like I said, I get it, it’s a TV show. This was still an early 2000s cop show whose main focus was drawing in people into the “whodunnit” crime shit of the time. It wasn’t the “watch Reid intensely develop as a character” show, at least not yet. But still. I guess it just makes me mad how he’s treated by the characters and the writers through this arc.

[impala-dreamer]

Pondering Fate While Ignoring The Obvious

A Ten Inch Hero Story

~Priestly has got it so bad for Tish that he can barely see past the end of her... well, her back end, anyway. He's love sick and forever rejected, constantly stuck inside his own head. When a new girl in town starts messing with him, he quickly loses his cool...~

Boaz Priestly x F!Reader

2,511 Words

Warnings: Nuttin' but fluff and banter. ;)

A/N: This is another square for my @jacklesversebingo card. The prompt is "Backhanded Compliment/Convenience Store/Sugar Addict"

Now listen- I've never written for this movie before, but I had so much fun doing it. If you've seen the movie, I think you'll love this. If you haven't seen it, you may not totally get it, but you'll still love it because it's cute and fluffy and I said so. Give it a chance ;)

Another day, another spicy Italian with no oil and no vinegar. How you could eat a hero dry was a question he could never quite grasp the answer to, but in the end, did another weird order really matter? He’d put a condom on the bun if they asked for it. Maybe not a used one, but then again, Tish was looking extra spicy herself today.

Tish. Goddamnit. There she goes flirting with every male in existence except him. There she is leaning over the counter in that not-so-sneaky way that pushes her tits up and out, giving everyone and their mother a look into the valley of the Promised Land. 

For fuck’s sake, if she’d only do that for him. 

Then again, nothin’ he hadn’t seen before. 

Fingers snapped in front of his face and Priestly blinked himself back into reality. 

“Can I help you?” he asked, still half dazed and half hard after staring so intently at his coworker. 

Piper sighed. “Yeah. You gotta make a run down the street.” 

He sighed harder. “You know, you ladies are capable of patronizing the convenience store now and then. It’s not really hard. You just pick out what you need and exchange it for cash.” 

The tiny blonde pouted and batted her lashes. “Please? My feet hurt from standing all day.” 

He scoffed. “And mine don't?” 

“I’m not used to it. I’m delicate.” 

Priestly scratched at the bright green spikes that sat atop his head for the day, masquerading as a hairstyle. He frowned but relented. “Fine. Gimme the list.” 

He saw her from the street. He wasn’t purposely peeping through the window like a stalker, but he felt like it all the same. It wasn’t his fault, not really. Things mostly stayed the same around town, so when something was different, when someone new showed up, it tended to stick out a bit. 

The new girl at the register was cute, not particularly daring in her style or makeup palette, but she was attractive. Probably the thing Priestly noticed first was the lollipop stick hanging from her painted lips. 

His entrance was announced by the jangling of bells and she looked up as he came in. She smiled around the pop and twirled the white paper stick between her fingers. 

“Welcome.” 

He looked back at her over his shoulder and nodded. “Hey.” 

Slowly, she pulled the treat from her mouth and licked the very tip. Her tongue was as red as the pop and Priestley was sure that his cheeks were turning the same shade. He cleared his throat quickly and turned back, going about his business. 

The store was otherwise empty except for Mr. Jacobson, the old man who never seemed to go anywhere but was always wherever you went. He was currently lingering at the end of the aisle, amazed at the sheer amount of chip flavors the new millennium had to offer. 

“Back in my day we had regular and salt & vinegar, and we were grateful!”

Priestly laughed under his breath and looked over the rack at the register. She was laughing softly as well, and when their eyes met, she didn’t shy away. 

He did; quickly tearing his gaze from the cherry pop and focusing on the aluminum foil instead. There was no use flirting with her anyway- she’d never go for him. She looked too normal, too pretty to fall for his shenanigans. Best not to even think about it. 

Arms fully stocked, he headed her way, keeping his eyes on the black and gray tiled floor and praying she wouldn’t make his heart race any faster. 

She sucked hard on the Blow Pop and then took a bite, making him jump. Sugar crackled between her teeth and she winked.

“I hope you overcharge them,” she said dryly, staring him down. 

Confusion took the place of shyness and Priestly’s face scrunched up. “What?” he snapped, jerking away from the counter. 

The girl rolled her eyes and went about ringing up his order without another word. 

Cash exchanged, Priestly thanked her and walked out, still wondering what the hell she was talking about. 

Monday. 

Priestly stared out the front window, wondering if the day was going to go his way or not. He knew he shouldn’t bother pondering the Fates, because they always seemed against him, but he liked to think he had some hope tucked away somewhere beneath the Manic Panic hair dye and all the metal sticking out of his head. If there was, he couldn’t find any today. 

Tish was late, as usual, probably rolling out of some strange guy’s arms and fishing for her bra underneath the bed. 

Someday… someday, that’d be his bed she was searching under. Someday, those would be his arms she rolled out of. He just had to keep hoping.

Or not. He really didn’t care. 

The sun was too bright, the grill was too hot. He hated everything. 

Except the sound of bubblegum popping behind him. He didn’t seem to hate that. 

With spatula in hand, he turned and startled just enough to make the bubblegum appear between coyly smiling pink lips. 

“Hey.” 

Priestley squinted. “You’re that chick from the store.” 

Annoyance crept onto her face. “And you’re that dude with too much eyeliner.” 

He laughed before realizing she was insulting him and ended up jolting up on his toes awkwardly, half a smile curled on his lip. 

He cleared his throat. “Priestly.”

She squinted. “Like Elvis?” 

He shrugged. “And you are?” 

“Hungry.” 

Slapping a five on the counter, she picked up her hero and spun away, heading toward the door. She turned to push it open with her backside and popped her gum again. 

Her eyes were glued to him and Priestly felt his stomach flip. He met her gaze and she smiled. 

“I always do.” 

He wanted to say something, to ask her what the hell she was talking about, but she was gone before the words reached his tongue. 

“Always do what?” 

Jen turned her head his way, but her eyes were still locked on the computer screen. “What’s up?” 

He sighed. “Nothing. Just a weird girl from…nothing.”

It was nothing. She was just the weird girl from down the street. And anyway, he was supposed to be hating everything today, not shifting his ponderance to the mystery of the gum chewing, pop crunching girl from the convenience store. 

“Nothing.”  

Blue hair; don’t care. 

Priestly cracked an egg on the grill and watched the edges sizzle. He wasn’t great at a lot of things, but cooking eggs was something he did exceptionally well. The butter bubbled around the perimeter, curling the whites just slightly, and he pushed the tip of his spatula against it. 

Not ready yet. 

The girls were, yet again, chatting about men, and he kept one ear on the sizzle and the other in their conversation. 

“I just don’t understand how hard it is to find. It’s right there.” Tish laughed and pushed a delicate hand back through her hair. “It’s a clit, not the Holy Grail.” 

Priestly raised a brow. “Some would call it that though,” he interjected. 

She rolled her eyes. “You would.”

Offended, he sucked in a quick breath. “Ya know something-” 

She turned, one hand on her hip, waiting. “Yeah?”  

His lips pursed and dejected, he turned back to the grill. “Forget it.” 

“Thought so,” she laughed. 

God, she was such a bitch sometimes. OK, most times, but still.

Tish went back to leaning on the counter and he took the opportunity to peek at her ass. 

Behind him, a throat was cleared. 

Priestly sighed, knowing what was waiting for him when he turned. Or, rather, who. 

“You again.” He batted his lashes. 

She smacked her lips. “Me again.” From her pocket, she withdrew a pink Starburst and fiddled with the wrapper. 

He eyed the candy and followed it to her mouth. Her lips were darker today and it reminded him of the cherry pop. “You eat too much sugar, you know that?”

She smiled gently. “And you dye your hair too much. That isn’t good for you. All those chemicals are gonna fry your brain.” 

“Joke’s on you, it’s already fried- shit!” Fried egg. Burnt to a crisp. “Damnit.” 

Sugar Girl swallowed a laugh and the Starburst. 

He turned around, annoyed at himself and her laughter. “Are you- do you want something?” 

“Yup.” She nodded and took her order from Piper, who was holding a small, paper-wrapped hero. “Thanks.” 

Green eyes narrowed on her smile. She was weird. Way too weird. And kinda rude. 

“You ever gonna tell me your name?” he asked, calling out as she pushed open the door. 

“Sure,” she replied, “Soon as I get my free sample.” 

“Huh?” 

Confusion always seemed to linger when she left, that and the smell of strawberries. Or cherries, or whatever she’d been sucking on. 

Sucking on…

His eyes flickered over to Tish and he wondered if she was as good at sucking things as she claimed.

It was raining and he was cranky. 

He’d missed his alarm, the car wouldn’t start, and a passing bus nearly drenched him head to toe. 

It wasn’t supposed to rain at the beach. It was practically against the law. Nature’s law, anyway. 

And to top it all off, Tish was bragging about the amazing night she’d had with a handsome stranger visiting from New York. 

“He’s just in town for a few days, so it’s nothing serious,” she explained to a wide-eyed Piper who was drinking down every word. “But man, I wouldn’t be mad if it was. He’s… tall and handsome and-” 

Priestly cleared his throat. “Ya know I’m pretty tall.” 

She clicked her tongue. “And?” 

His heart ached at her callousness. “And… just thought I’d remind you.”

Maybe she didn’t know what she was doing to him, but he thought his advances were fairly obvious. Maybe she was just a bitch.

Jen derailed his thought train with a shopping list she’d printed out. 

He shook his head. “No.” 

“Please?”

The shop on the corner was the last place he wanted to go. Nameless Sugar Girl was the last person he wanted to see. “Why do I always have to go?” He pouted and gestured to the window. “It’s pouring rain out there.” 

Jen looked up with puppy-dog eyes. “Which is why I’m asking you to please go.” 

A heavy sigh was his only reply. Priestly grabbed the paper from her hand, crumpling it beyond repair, and set out into the downpour. 

He was dripping by the time he made it down the street. He sneered at the water on his face, rolled his eyes at the welcome mat, swatted viciously at the bells as they rang above his head. 

“Rough morning?” she asked, watching his huffy entrance. 

He scowled. “You could say that.” 

A peppermint rolled on her tongue and the red and white stripes caught his eye. “Well, lemme know if you need any assistance.” 

Priestly ran a hand through his teal-tinted hair and shook out a puddle’s worth of rain. “Yeah. Thanks.” 

It took him a while to collect the goods, having trouble finding the right paper towels that would fit into the holder in the bathrooms. He’d never had any issues in the store before; seemed like someone had rearranged. 

Someone. 

He looked across the rows of sundries and wondered what her deal was. Hell, he still didn’t even know her name. Not that he wanted to, of course. 

Of course. 

Finally, and with much annoyance, he arrived at the register. 

She laughed softly as he unloaded his arms. 

He shook his head. “What?” 

“I… I shouldn’t even touch this one.” 

He had no clue what she was talking about, he never did, and he was at the end of his rope. 

His patience snapped. “What?”

She sat back, clearly hurt by his tone. “Your shirt.” 

She pointed at his chest and he looked down, reading the big black letters upside down. 

‘Save a tree, eat a beaver’

His shoulders fell. “Oh. Yeah. Whatever.” 

“Yeah,” she echoed, the sting heavy in her voice. “Whatever.” 

He couldn’t take it anymore. Dropping a can of coffee onto the counter, he slapped his palms down on either side of it and leaned in. 

“Ya know, everytime I see you, you’ve got something snarky to say.”

Her eyes went wide. “Snarky?” She frowned. “I thought I was flirting.” 

The fight drained out of him along with the blood in his cheeks. Confused once more. “Uh… what?” 

Pushing herself up off the stool, she mirrored his pose, hands falling dangerously close to his. “Flirting,” she said again. “It’s an ancient ritual in which a sexually interested party attempts to lure their prey into bed with witty and charming wordplay.”

He balked. “I know what flirting is!” 

She glared. “Then why haven’t you picked up on the fact that I’ve been trying to pick you up for weeks now?”

“I uh…” His elbows buckled and he stood up fully. “You have?” No way. She wasn’t…

Memories of the past month flooded his mind. Each time he’d seen her she was smiling at him, not being snarky. She was teasing him, answering the ridiculous sayings on his shirt. 

‘I sell crack for the CIA.’ … “I hope you overcharge them”

‘Surf naked.’ … “I always do.” 

‘Orgasm Donor - Ask for your free sample’ … “As soon as I get my free sample.”

It had been smacking him in the damned face and he hadn’t seen it. She had been playing with him the whole time, not trying to annoy him. She wanted him to notice her, but he was too busy dreaming of Tish, wondering when she’d notice him. 

He sucked in a stunned breath. “You have. Wow.”

A tiny smile returned to her cherry lips. “Come on, I know you’re not as dumb as your fashion sense implies.”

Priestly felt a dip in his gut, something fluttering around inside. He grinned. “Oh, I’m way dumber.” 

Reaching across the counter, she grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him close. “Good.”

Her lips were soft, the kiss as sweet as the candy she was always eating. He breathed her in as her tongue swept over his.  He was stunned, confused but in a good way. Maybe he needed to push Tish aside and pay more attention to the world around him. Maybe this was a good thing. A really good thing. His eyebrows raised in surprise, his blood pressure raised even higher.

She pulled away slowly, her lips lingering on his. 

“You get it now?” 

She waited, blinking at him with the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. He should have looked sooner, closer; should have given her a chance.  

“Yeah,” he whispered in a laugh. “I think I do.” 

Another kiss, a press of her hand at the nape of his neck. 

“You ever gonna tell me your name?” 

She smiled. “Y/N.”

He reached for her cheek; fingers landing lightly on her soft skin. 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” 

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[tireddovahkiin]

Okay so LISTEN UP.

WE'VE GOT A F/O SITUATIONSHIP AND BI-CRISIS GOING ON IN MY FUCKED UP HEAD

I need help, bc I already yapped on dc somewhere but got a bit ignored so I'm taking this here. I'm so unbelievably confused and flustered and helpless and dont know what to do HELP YOUR BUDDY OUT PLEASE. This will be long, but I truly need you to hear it.

But be warned! There will be suggestive themes mentioned below, although briefly. so I'll put the cut just in case. Read at your own will!

OK SO, if you didn't know, I got another new f/o, Raiden, from Metal Gear, (DW I haven't forgot my beautiful wife Snake I could never do that to him I love that nicotine addicted buff bear) who is canonically married and has a kid. His wife is named Rosemary, and the moment I saw that woman grace my laptop screen, I felt irritated beyond belief by her. Especially because she was secretly a spy sent to monitor Raidens behavior as a soldier operator, and basically started a 'fake relationship' with him ("accidentaly" bumping into him and going on a date ig), but it later got real, and she really fell in love with him. But shit got down, she got captured, and the Patriots (group of men working behind the whole USA government or something like that, basically the secret antagonists of the Metal Gear saga), and they formed an AI program based on her that would assist Raiden on a mission as a way of manipulating him. But luckily, it ended okay, she was set free, they were reunited, she revealed she was pregnant, he proposed to her, blah, blah.

And then, Raiden got into some sort of serious depression, because of the difficult past he went through as a child, that started haunting him again, causing him to become alcoholic, have violent tendencies, and would return home late drunk and with strange wounds on his body. Rose was helpless, she wanted to help but, there was also a risk of her getting harmed in the proccess, and she was with a baby. And because of that, plus a risk of the Patriots finding out about her identity, and the child's existence, too, she LEFT him. She lied about having a miscarriage, and leaving Raiden alone while he was fucking BATTLING FOR HIS LIFE, and even "remarried" for a Colonel, as form of safety for her and the baby. Bro got so heartbroken, and felt like he lost all purpose in this world, like he got no one. He lost hope. And it broke my fucking heart. That did it, and I started hating on Rose even more because of that. 'she had no choice!' SHE COULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING SHUT UP

However, after the baby was born, and the threat of being discovered has ended, Rose finally decided to reach out to Raiden, and introduce him to his little son John, finally telling him the whole truth. They then decided to start over as a family, and yay happy happy happy -_-

I just got so frustrated how Rose didn't suffer the consequences of treating Raiden like that, leaving him alone without any explanation whatsoever. Meanwhile, here's a bit of Jayden lore LOL: I was the one who helped Raiden get back on his feet, I was there to help him overcome his demons when he felt alone and abandoned. No matter how nasty it would get, I was there in his best and worst. There to comfort him, support him, raise him back to his feet, and push him forward. While ultimately battling with my own problems and hopelessness in life. I was his anchor in the darkness, his supporting shoulder he could always lean on. (depression buddies WHEEEEZE)

... Only for him to forgive Rose. Just like that. Without any consequences, without any hesitation.

I felt angered, dissapointed, jealous even (ahaha yes delulu Jayden MUCH) and above all, sad. I never forgave Rose, ever. And I never forgot what she did to him. However, Rose hated it, she WANTED to get along with me, because I was Raidens 'best friend'. She wanted to thank me for being there for him, but I just wouldn't hear it. I avoided her, out of terrible jealousy, not even realizing I was obviously showing it. That I actually had feelings for her husband without even realizing.

So, of course, I keep telling myself I resent her.

… BUT… As I was washing dishes (lmao), I suddenly... Thought about something… I'm bi… .. I like pretty girls too… And Rose, well… I guess she's… a pretty woman… And ok… I still hate her… Right… I'm also poly, which means I can like multiple partners at once…

And I kept thinking about these... DIRTY threesome scenarios of Rose finding out I had feelings for her man… And then making a plan with Raiden to secretly lure me and show me she wanted to make things right between us two even tho I resented her… And letting Raiden (who didn't even realize he had feelings for me too, until his wife actually told him (dense idiot oml)) do the yeehaw with me, as she watches ALL of it…

And it making my heart pound faster and literally blush and STOP WHAT I WAS DOING BC WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT I HATED HER- (IM NOT DONE YET) And then when she approached, I made the move and fucking KISSED HER. ME. ME WHO I HATE ROSE. And then we all get down on each other. A GANG BANG.

And I get left speechless. Like, what the fuck… I thought she's annoying… Yet why does it sound… fucking hot…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WHAT DO I DO?? WHAT IS THIS LOVE TRIANGLE/ENEMIES TO LOVERS TYPA SHIT??? GUYS PLEASE-

[veilody]

So, as some of y'all might know I LOVE the entire Yakuza/LAD/RGG (+Judgment my favourites of them all <3) series - but currently? The Pirates on Hawaii ain't it. While I love me some good Majima Shenanigans I - for the love of FUCK - cannot get myself to care ONE BIT about the Rich-Family.

Big critique with Spoilers below cut - I warned you <3

I absolutely hate how a CHILD is the core of this entire story and that it sticks to me WHEREVER I go. Like, I'm Majima, I talk about stabbing and killing people all the time and at least do the stabbing bit constantly. And the story wants to tell me this child is OKAY with this violence?

So far I am only in chapter 3 but everything about the Rich-Family (except Goro the Tiger-cub, because cute) icks me - though nothing is as bad as this stupid child.

Like I can overlook how the theme is handled - still feels like the pirate plot is really pulled by the hair, but I can roll with it. But this CHILD just doesn't feel like it belongs there.

First off: It got way too much to say in EVERY kind of situation.

So we waitin' for Saejima (my love) but NO this kid wants to go to some dangerous Island full of gutters and scammers and we okay with that. Then we finished the boat to take part on that tournament but BEFORE WE DO!!! We have to go back to Rich Island because KIDDO wants to show off to his big sister. Then, do we help that daughter of that dead guy with the revenge? KIDDO SAYS YES and everyone is listening and is touched by the bravery of this stupid kid. Like, cool to see adults not dismissing a childs opinion, but we're talking about revenge, blood and murder.

Second: The adults behave weirdly

So how can it be, that I cannot partake at adult entertainment - like the strip club we know exists in Honolulu - and that Majima gets a bit panicked when the kid is near the sex shop. But at the same time: Let's go take the child on to a murderfest! Or there's someone WOUNDED and DYING and NOBODY covers the kiddos eyes?! Like, honestly this feels very americanised. And the DAD, shit, why does he always leave HIS CHILD in MY care. I am playing an ex-Yakuza, who comes to know rather fastly that he's a LEGENDARY Yakuza. Someone who's willing to gut people and gets into ALL the fights.

The only one who behaved like he's got all his marbles together IS Saejima and I hope he keeps being my shining light in this whole situation. All the kisses for this one.

Third: The fits of the Kid is cued veeeeery weirdly.

I am not talking about the two times in chapter one that the kid was kept hostage and had a fit. No, this is A-Okay, it showed us that this child doesn't do well with troublesome situations and the reason why his father tried to keep him out of danger - like he should (it's just not cool that he never clearly communicated with his son before Majima came around).

What I am talking about is the situation in which he was held hostage by the "Palekana" and we had to bust him out. He was abducted, bound and gagged with nobody he trusts around him and clearly in life-threatening danger. We come to him and he seems... Peachy. His gag comes loose and the first thing he says: "I'm sorry Captain."

Not much later, AFTER MY SOLO FIGHT with Saejima (NOBODY ELSE GOT INVOLVED AND SAEJIMA WOULD NEVER HURT A KID - THIS MAN IS A BEAR AND A SAFE HAVEN) and we bound SAEJIMA down and explain that the kids got a sickness - kiddo has a little fit as if to show off what was just said. He was by NO MEANS in danger. And it was explicitly said, that air pollution and excitement (good or bad) are the triggers for that.

Honestly? To keep myself entertained while playing this game (the mechanics are at least really fun and addicting) I am constantly walking around in the Goromi-Style. It makes EVERY scene better.

And those scenes that don't get better because the child keeps on being in the spotlight? Well I skip it. And I have only ONCE (Y4, if you know, you know, and I do hope they find a better solution to show what they meant if they make a remake of Y4 because that tainted Saejima before we really got to know him - and I love him but gee, RGG do him justice) skipped scenes and dialogues during my first playthrough of ANY RGG-Game before. I feel bad for the hard working Developers and Voice Actors behind the game, but for fucks sake, this "Noah Rich" gives me THE ICK.

I know children are something that RGG always pushes as "You need to protect them", "They're the future", "You're a Yakuza and less important than these innocent kids" - and I felt that with Haruka because she never CHOSE to be the central role of these Yakuza-plots. Honeybaby was always roped into the shit because the adults didn't handle their shit without endangering her. (Looking at you, Kazama) or because some sleezy assholes used her as Kiryus weakness. She LITERALLY got out of Kiryus way, so he can handle the dangerous shit and reduce the chance of her being used to lure Kiryu into a trap. The poor man HAD to distance himself from his daughter because she was pulled in front of the guns all the time and IT KILLED HIM - quite literally his name.

And then there's Noah Rich.... Selfish, selfish Noah Rich. I get that being selfish is a trait of children. I have a little brother who's also turning 12 this year. But no matter how adventurous you are, there's gotta be a limit of accepting the bloodshed around you, as a child.

I'm only in chapter 3 and I am so sure that I have to save this shitty child more times than I want to. I do hope that Jason Rich, Noahs mom and the sisters find their marbles at some point to say "Hey, we can find a different solution, so that Noah doesn't feel as sheltered as he did on Rich Island" without him keep being a LEECH at my side.

So... I don't know how many chapters this game has. If I am still just starting or if it can be considered mid-game already. But so far a lot of things feel rushed and not well thought through. Personally, I didn't have these issues with LAD:IW despite many people criticising the story - but maybe I was too overwhelmed with crying for Kiryu idk, because I am definitely biased towards Kiryu and not Majima, despite liking the latter too.

Thank you for coming to my TED-Talk have a Potatsuyu

[tklpilled]

to the moon and to saturn

craig wouldn’t say he loves a lot of things. it sounds pessimistic, but love is a strong word! sure, there are things he likes—he likes his friends, for example. he’s just…not one to use that word so freely.

he loves stripe. he’s been a constant in craig’s life for years, somewhat. it’s not always the same stripe, but craig will pretend it is anyway, because he hates letting go of things. he loves stripe, even when he wakes up at too-fucking-early-o’clock to a variety of sounds coming from the cage, and even though sometimes stripe bites him when he tries to pet him. he’s always heard love is unconditional, after all. for a long, long time, he thinks stripe will be the only thing he ever loves—and he’s okay with that. it takes him a while to realise that something has changed.

it’s hard to pinpoint his feelings, because it’s a different kind of love than what he feels towards stripe. plus, every description he’s ever heard is absolute bullshit. there are no fireworks going off in his head, no butterflies in his stomach, no heated cheeks or longing stares or stumbling over his words. the feeling just barges its way into his heart and makes itself at home, as if it’s always been there. hesitantly, craig begins to welcome it.

he loves tweek. he loves everything he does, his shaking hands and his wobbly smile. he loves the feeling of tweek’s skin against his own when their fingers intertwine, how he always smells like coffee and lumber. he loves hearing tweek’s voice even when he’s rambling about nothing in particular. he loves taking note of everything tweek does, all his barely noticeable mannerisms. he’s almost certain he knows tweek better than tweek knows himself.

there’s a third thing, too—tweek’s laugh. which, yes, sure, could be considered part of loving tweek as a whole, but there’s something so addicting about the sound that craig considers it an understatement at best to group it with the rest.

tweek doesn’t laugh very often; craig can’t say much, because it’s not like he’s any better. it happens so rarely that sometimes craig finds himself wondering how there’s an entire category in his mind dedicated solely to it—and then he hears it again.

he can remember the first time it happened.

“you’ve been avoiding me all day! just—gah—tell me what the problem is!” tweek has a tight grip on his arm, enough to keep him in place but not enough to hurt. it’s almost annoying how much he worries.

craig stares at the ground, hiding from tweek as much as he can. “…nothing.”

tweek’s grip loosens, but craig makes no move to leave. “please?”

finally, craig looks up at his boyfriend. after a deep breath, he tentatively starts talking.

“promise you won’t make fun of me.”

tweek stares.

and he stares.

and then he laughs.

“is that it? y-you got braces? you dumbass, i thought i did something wrong!”

craig is hardly listening. his eyes are wide, and if he hadn’t spent the whole day forcing his mouth shut as much as possible, he’s sure that would be ajar too.

tweek’s laugh…

it’s the prettiest sound he’s ever heard in his life. a choir of angels would pale in comparison.

in that moment, craig understands why love is so often depicted as an arrow being shot through the heart.

he’s always trying to think of new things that tweek would find funny, or that would catch him off-guard just enough. the thing is, though, craig’s never done something like this before, because he’s never in his life been so enamoured with a laugh of all things, and evidently tweek isn’t easy to amuse. he can’t just ask, either—craig has always been the type to speak his mind, but the idea of telling tweek just how excruciatingly in love he is feels…terrifying, to say the least. besides, what if tweek thinks it’s weird and never laughs ever again? craig would rather walk through hell than experience that. 

and then, whatever god may exist finally decides to show him mercy; either that, or his luck is just that good.

craig is incredibly clingy around tweek. he loves touching him, even if it’s just the slightest contact. whenever he gets the chance he’s almost always wrapped around the blond, holding on to him like he’ll die if he doesn’t. tweek doesn’t initiate contact much, but he doesn’t mind when craig does it—it even seems to calm his twitching down a bit. 

he’s hugging him from behind while they sit on craig’s bed, legs wrapped around his waist for extra security. he makes a move to adjust his arms, tightening his grip and pressing his fingers into tweek’s sides—

“ack! st-stop it! that tickles!” tweek jolts away like he’s been shocked, though it doesn’t do much considering how tight a hold craig has on him.

craig looks down at his hands. “oh. sorry.”

…wait.

it’s a dangerous idea, considering tweek could very easily give him a black eye right now, but the opportunity is right there. slowly, he moves his hands back to where they were as tweek’s attention is focused on the television.

tweek yelps as craig repeats the action, not pulling away this time. “gah—wait! stop! leave me alohohone!” he leans back into his boyfriend, then seems to realise there’s nowhere to go. “cuhuhut it ohout!”

craig wouldn’t be mad if this was the only sound he could hear for the rest of his life. he wishes, so, so badly, for tweek to never stop laughing.

“ngh, what was that for?” tweek whines, pulling craig out of his trance. he realises that his hands have stopped moving. 

craig rests his chin on tweek’s shoulder. “i like when you laugh,” he mumbles, embarrassed, and slips his fingers into the gap in tweek’s poorly buttoned shirt before he can respond.

“craig!” tweek kicks his feet against the mattress, twisting side to side. “lehehet me gohoho! this is s-sohoho unfahair!” he manages to squirm out of craig’s grasp, and he thinks that’s going to be it, but tweek just turns and hides his face in craig’s shoulder, throwing his arms around his neck as he giggles into his shirt. so, slowly, he returns his hands to tweek’s sides and squeezes, and tweek squeals and tightens his hold but otherwise doesn’t do much. craig takes it as an invitation to keep going.

“t-tickles!” he squeaks out, gripping onto the back of craig’s shirt. “it tihihickles!”

craig slides under tweek’s shirt just a little, enough to scratch lightly at the skin on his sides. “good. that’s what i’m going for.”

tweek whines, broken apart by laughter. “fuhuhuck off!”

craig hums. “let go of me, then.”

“…nohoho.”

[corellonsblessing]

A BLACK OUT/SLAM POEM based on the teletubbies (tv) tag on ao3

TRIGGER WARNING_MILK.

stray dogs literature clubs, the school for good and evil. ink sans angel—stranger things

horror sans guy—don’t hug me i’m scared. don’t hug me i’m scared, (don’t hug me i’m scared.)

free form plot twists. tragedy/comedy. alternate universe—high school. alternate universe—music.

the chaos unfolds each day, pristine, centuries ago, fight the many.

post divorce, living together, implied drug use, alcoholism. snippets from the end of the show, renunion, although it takes place a couple years before. we were the stars (but space was a void) by ponfarrpussyqueen.

corporate clash, bug, duck, the guardian pest, the prince, macarena, kissing, crack, as a joke, boys kissing, regret everything

underage julius caesar, emo napoleon, mating bond, tentacle dick, magic healing cock, holy water, holy roman empire, kissing in the rain, the battle of waterloo, a true story.

crossover, insanehappymealgiver, original character, original, simulator, mentioned, i’m at my limit, intentionally bad, wearing the other character’s skin, start praying because this sure ain’t holy, my dad went to get the milk because of this, sent to the void, put me in a coffin, rancid hope’s peak

we greet you with good luck and prosperity.

we love gay anal and lesbian smut and we hope you do too.

diminishing flame, not for kids, you’ll cry so hard you won’t have eyes, not sorry, commit a clarity, vaporized, freeform, sewer rat

2020 presidential election, spit as lube.

chaos bear, crack, crack, crack, has religious trauma, gay, gay, lesbian, lesbian sex, orgy, moist naked bodies rainbow is jesus, sex during tornado, this is NOT. finished.

there she was, in a new world. guess she’ll play the cards she’s dealt.

jesus confessed, sin shock, tears streaming down her face. “i fucked your sister.” crack. treated seriously, why did i write this. gay best friend—i can see that (i’m safe here.)

why did i write this!

crack. treated seriously.

slowly losing our sanity, we die.

crack, treated seriously. the moon of hope and the sun of despair LET IT GOOOOO LET IT GOOO.

crack, treated seriously, blue balls, orphan account

his little purse. what was once an inside joke is now taken seriously. crack. crack. fluff and crack. angst and crack. i am a man of my word, and i speak for the people.

a million other projects to complete

crack, crack, i dont know what’s going on, we’re idiots so we made this

it starts out all nice then it all goes downhill

satan, crack, this is a joke, please help me, please don’t hate me, i’m so sorry, i cannot think of anything else, please don’t read this. but. do, the author regrets nothing, the author regrets everything, why do i still exist? (discontinued, at least until further notice.) by even moderner prometheus

forbidden love, dead dove:do not eat.

so small in the midst of it all. rolling with the weird and unusual, traumatized teens to comfort, and an important decision to make

i came up with this, i will go down with this

i can’t believe i write this, why did i write this, i wrote this while listening to mother mother, sleep deprived, wrote this instead of sleeping, the guardian witnessed sex and is now scarred, touching, addiction, slut shaming

insufferable with apologies to all my followers, hell (literal), sewage

i got problems, so fucking random, pulled out of my ass, hard to explain, hard to word, each chapter will be posted, find me on wattpad,

near death experiences, major illness, declarations of love, love confessions, eating, marking, delay/denial, knotting, marking, mating bites, overstimulation, based on taylor swift songs, missing spleen

help me pleease, im scared, why did i write this?, just this really chill person who wants to take over the world, humanized teletubbies, my friend and i wrote this over the summer

you better not forgive me for this, im serious, vaginal fingering, a hushed voice, the contact making her shiver.

may your heart stay strong. torture, vomiting, blood and gore, self-indulgent, touch starved guardian, all characters are adults, electricity, suicidal thoughts, medical inaccuracies,

and yet… you lie again. i like noo-noo i hope he explodes, don’t show up

crack. i am so sorry. not in detail but it could’ve been so count your blessings

gods this can’t end well, good parent, to two children, bad parent, to the other one

IM SO SRRY BUT THIS WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD, HAHA SUFFER,

attempt at humor, death, gore, i don’t even know, i’m so sorry, you have been warned, i posted this for my brother’s birthday

plague, companionship, through the fields we ran

it quickly turns into anti-demon propaganda

a play in one act, post-war, no sex, no killing

the prize of reading this is to meet god

help my poor soul this is a disgrace but it was my first fic so i refuse to orphan it, and the teletubbies followed

help, i was forced to write this and i’m sorry, i don’t even know what to call this monster, the southern pansy, aziphrale, the prince of hell, and the archangel gabriel

angst, satire, this is not serious, it’s meant to be funny

DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, IT WAS WRITTEN BY THREE HIGH THIRTEEN YEAR OLDS.

this is what you’ve been waiting for and hoping would never come

hearing voices, broken bones, emotional manipulation,

live, work, play, a simple life, protected, until a stranger comes.

i can’t give you a summary of the plot. that would ruin the story.

the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part one)

the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part seventeen.)

let me know if i forgot to tag anything!!

blame the painkillers. i blame the painkillers.

[shawmlinsitly08]

Been a while since I've done this. Might as well try this again.

I have been feeling unsatisfied; hollow, for lack of a better term, with my life. And maybe apprehension for what's to come.

I only have one and half months of summer break yet it feels like I already wasted most of it. It doesn't help the fact that the reason why my break is cut to three-fourth is because of the pandemic fucking up my country's school system, and in their good ol' fashion style, they decided to rush last year's school to 9 months only to align the summer break last month.

And currently in a... less than ideal situation at the moment because of the people I have to put up with. So stuck in their familiar cycles that they keep hurting me and others in the process. Hell, it's already hard to just function normally while they intersect with my plans, and on top of dealing with executive dysfunction that I have teach myself to maintain that.

My phone addiction is no better too. People could blame me all they want about being near the screens but they are no better with their own phone usage, too. One person I know who keeps his phone volume on full blast Anywhere, Anytime, listening to political slop and propaganda because he has nothing better to do in his life. And of course, companies making the internet as addicting and stimulating as possible with little regard for our well-being.

And y'know, it feels familiar and, in a way, comforting, to be on my phone as I distract myslf from all of that outside Noise.

I'm only here to get my thoughts out than to expect a response, I'd rather scream into the void at the top of my lungs until I wear myself out.

Shit's been hard. Society, culture, and communities feels like they keep eating itself up for as long as we're here.

I am aware that this vent comes off as cynical and whatnot, not that I care what to say next; I just want to show a side of myself that's rarely shown. Side of bitterness at those who should've been supportive to me than bring me down into insignificant punching bags and playthings of old pains echoing in the present.

Just because I am showing y'all this doesn't mean you should fall in despair, there's a reason why I still keep clinging onto stubborn hope for as long as I stand. I'm holding onto Why I am standing for myself, against systems and people who will find this break in the status quo dangerous: it's a sign of the upcoming death of familiarity, of someone who refuses to play by the rules, of someone who Dares to question their pillow-cushioned delusions.

Keep hoping. Hold into it. Not complacent hoping for far-flung miracles.

Question what you know. Question everything and everyone around you.

It will mean more to you than you give it credit for.

It is the first ingredient to breaking down the lies they built around you.

It will hurt. It will weigh you down. It will burden you with knowledge you never wish to know. Here's the thing: pain is a part of life. There will never a painless existence, you need to accept pain as an inevitability, not something to avoid.

You will break free. Make it a possibility; a certainty, not an impossibility.

You got this.

[this-mustbethevoid]

monday, april 28 — 9:45pm

just got back from seeing my GP. i knew i wouldn't feel great but i wish i didn't feel this bad. crying nowadays feels so weird. it feels like i have to try or else it doesn't come. kind of like being nauseous and you just wish it would happen so you don't feel nauseous anymore.

everything went fine i guess. i do feel very poked and prodded and overstimulated. but everyone was nice and it seems like i'm going to get checked out like how i should. i guess i should call my parents tomorrow and tell them the news. they'll be happy.

i'm definitely not happy with my weight. i'm over 200 pounds now. i've never been higher than like 170. my average is like 160 and my lowest is like 140. i just don't know where all this weight came from or where it went/is. i don't feel that big. i feel like 180. but it just really goes to show how much not doing any fucking movement at all really just slows down your immune system. i know i haven't been eating the best either but i didn't think it was bad enough for me to gain this much weight. definitely doesn't feel good. i need to stop smoking so much weed i don't think that helps. but sometimes its the only thing that gets me through the day.

i like my therapist so much but maybe i should see one that specializes in depression. then i also wouldn't have to spend so much fucking money.

i know this is all part of the plan and everything, but i really just don't want to do it. i dont' want to kill myself but i don't want to be doing all this existing and being alive and shit.

well the tears are fucking coming now. which i guess is good. i just wish everything wasn't so difficult. i'm just so unhappy. i just don't know how i'm going to make it through this. should i be seeing a therapist twice a week? in theory i could try seeing another therapist in addition and it wouldn't cost a lot of money but just would give me more support.

but for the sake of posterity, i was feeling pretty good today. i got a bunch of stuff done that i wanted/needed to. its just shitty that it has to end like this. i need to start working out at the end of the day bc its not like i got anything better to do with my time.

idk how i'm going to be feeling tomorrow but i hope its good bc we have sunset boulevard tix. i wouldn't be surprised if i don't make it but katherine has a lot of friends she can take instead. even some of my friends would want to go and they like katherine.

i just hate feeling so pathetic and sad and depressed and fat and gross and worthless. i'm not any of those things. but i feel like them. it's hard to argue against the fact that we're all just wastes of space in this world. but i guess the world would be worse off without me. i'm know that i'm a good person and i have a lot to offer people and the world. i just need to get through this patch and then i can focus on the good things.

honestly i feel like i wish this was a drug addiction or something. maybe it's not okay or cool for me to say that but at least that's more understandable and has a clean answer. i feel lost. i feel like i'm swimming in an endless ocean with a weight attached to my leg. and i keep trying to swim and its so hard, and it would be so easy to just stop swimming and let the weight take me to the bottom and end it.

how do i fight against the weight? i just keep fucking swimming and eventually i find a boat or an island or something to help take the weight off. OR i get stronger. swimming with the weight helps develop my muscles and endurance, and then even if i do have the weight and it sucks to drag it, i can.

i just am struggling so much and i don't know what to do. are you supposed to reach out to someone? what could they do? i just feel like talking about this with a friend isn't helpful. maybe listening to some sad music will help. it did last week i guess.

[bridgetlynn]

lol I see u in the pitt tags sometimes and it's like. jesus christ thank you. I think the issue we're running into with the pitt fandom is that it Is a complicated, real world show. And not in the way like white lotus is where everyone is terrible, no nuance, or severance where everyone is complicated but the real world application is...nuts. but in a way where people are messed up in normal, real world ways which is shockingly a lot more difficult to find these days on tv. And not to stereotype, but this is Tumblr where people are very online, maybe a little sheltered and socially isolated, and young (there's that poll going around and 50% of the user base is actually gen z lol). Idk how many of them have even met an actual addict. Or even had a job tbh. I grew up in the shit part of cincinnati and life has kind of sucked so like. whenever I see this Langdon/drugs discourse specifically I'm just like. who gives a fuck. Everyone gets arrested. Everyone kills someone every now and then. Everyone's an addict. My only concern is ok. your life sucks. what are you gonna do about it. it's not redemption, which is honestly a Stupid way to look at it. who even talks like that irl??? it's 'the only thing you can ever change is the future, so r u changing or not?' also. It's benzos, not meth (the only drug that really makes me say gtfooooo. bye). Anyway. thanks for keeping it real wrt addiction/drug use. I've just started going thru the main tag and blocking anyone that annoys me even a little lmao

I'm at work watching people lose their minds over the stock market (and half my office didn't show up today) so this might be a little disjointed and rambling...

Yup. To all of that. The lack of nuance blows my mind the most out of all of it. The hypocrisy too - I've never seen my much younger cousins or their friends (early 20s) sober on a weekend. And it's always some kind of off-label prescription drug too.

What happened to the good ol days of booze, weed (and coke when you got tired)? Like, at least I knew what was in that. (I'm only half joking)

The nuance being: Chronic physical pain is a thing that actually exists. And ER work is hard on the body. Langdon literally could have just very recently found himself in an 'oh shit' situation and figured he could get himself out of it without help. He's not going to consider himself an addict if this is a recent development- might also be why he's so pissed at Robby in the preview. The lack of listening to him has got to hurt Langdon (even if I do think it is not the night for a chat). It's like Robby just decided to write him off on the half baked word of an intern and therefore everything out of Frank's mouth is a lie or excuse.

Personally I've been there more then once. I was shoved down a flight of stairs in college and as a result have pretty severe nerve damage to my back (and subsequently limbs) - I can not count the amount of times I've realized 'shit...guess I'm in for a shit couple of days' when I realize I've killed my oxy supply for the month too early. Now I'm 'lucky' in some much that I have apparently fallen into the very small percentage of my family (like 10 people) who can take stuff, overuse and not get the mental itch so when I need to stop for a while I can (the physical sucks just as much as for anyone though). And can therefore essentially detox myself til enough time passes and I can't walk and need to go back to pills.

TL;DR - they act like Langdon is the evilist mofo to ever exist they also have zero proof of anything other then the 10 librium pills. They just decided that he did one bad thing- so therefore everything he does is bad.

[cattatonically]

How to Kill Men and Get Away With It - Katy Brent (Kitty Collins, book 1)

Synopsis

Meet Kitty Collins.

FRIEND. LOVER. KILLER.

He was following me. That guy from the nightclub who wouldn’t leave me alone.

I hadn’t intended to kill him of course. But I wasn’t displeased when I did and, despite the mess I made, I appeared to get away with it.

That’s where my addiction started…

I’ve got a taste for revenge and quite frankly, I’m killing it.

A deliciously dark, hilariously twisted story about friendship, love, and murder. Fans of My Sister the Serial Killer, How to Kill Your Family and Killing Eve will love this wickedly clever novel!

My Thoughts

Kitty Collins is rich. She's an Instagram influencer. And at first glance, she comes off as vapid and shallow. But the more we get to know Kitty, the more apparent it becomes that she finds the entire facade tiring. Exhausting. Troublesome. Especially when it comes to her friends, who really only care about things at face-value, and only care about what looks good on social media and the press.

But everything changes for Kitty after a bit of an accident where a man who was following her home after a night out - thinking she owed him something, of course - trips, falls, and dies. Well, he threw a wine bottle at her head first, so she pushed him away, and he impaled his neck on a bottle shard. But those are just details.

But that's the moment everything changes for Kitty, and honestly, I'm here for it.

If there's one thing this book has instilled, it's that one thing does remain common between rich women and poor women - men will always, without fail, treat us all like pure shit. This is not a new concept. This is what women have been telling the world for millennia - and the world still isn't really listening, especially not with misogynist Nazis in positions of power all over the global political climate. (Yeah. They're Nazis. I'm calling them as I see them, don't like it, stop reading and fuck off.)

But the fact remains - this book speaks to that on a very, very personal level. It speaks to the abject fear and terror most women have for just *existing* in the world. The terror or walking home from work alone. The terror of rejecting the advances of the wrong man. The terror of even just being around any man alone without our keys between our fingers as a last-ditch effort at protection. And how sad is it that we need a piece of tongue-in-cheek dark comedy to show the reading masses what women have always known - we are not safe around men.

The more I watch Kitty become a serial killer with an agenda, the more I can't really blame her for all the reasons above. She is sick and tired of the fear, of the terror, of being objectified and treated as a possession. The only difference between her and the rest of us is that she has the finances, power, and privilege to hide in plain sight.

Or maybe not. Because The Creep, her cyberstalker, certainly seems to know what she's been up to.

The identity of the creep truly baffled me. I had my suspicions, but they were slightly off - just a little to the left. I can't say I was necessarily surprised by the reveal, but I didn't have the full eureka moment either. It was definitely more of a "oh, yeah, that tracks" moment, which was honestly very masterfully done. As was Kitty's handling of the situation, of course.

Kitty Collins is a lot of things. She's a good friend, an incredible liar, and a master of wearing masks. All of these skills serve her well dealing with the general public as a socialite. Especially now that she's set on living a normal life with her friends, and her charming boyfriend (who actually didn't set off any red flags, so bonus points for that!)

But at the end of the day, Kitty Collins is a serial killer with an agenda. And I'm here for it.

[computerpeople]

it makes me mad. because i scream my head off at him. im so fucking sick of his shit. but he isn't exactly the "cause" of these issues. my moms the one who did it. she's the one who made the choice to unschool me, and to raise me under the grid, and get rid of my documents, and isolate me from society. but the person who made those choices doesn't really exist anymore, she was a heroin addict in a multiple year long psychotic episode, she was also being abused by her parents, and eventually her new boyfriend after the divorce. that person isn't here with us anymore. i don't think she'd make that choice again, especeially not now that shes seen what its done to me.

but my dad has made everything worse. he let evil incarnate into our house in the form of my step mom and let her and HELPED her abuse me in any fucking conceivable way for 5 years. he *** *** **** **** ** ***** he stole my money he turned me into a house wife and a political opponent and a best friend. he neglected me for years, i wore the same underwear i did when he got divorced when i was 18. he wouldn't buy me shampoo or conditioner. he'd often not buy food and only bguy alcohol, not because we couldn't buy food but because he was tired after work.

but he isn't the source of anything. hes chickenshit scared of everything. hes big and tubby and doesn't have a back bone and dates women who make every choice for him, and when he doesn't date, he turns to me to do that for him. hes got big puppy dog eyes and a suuuuper sad voice to show off how sad and guilty he feels, and he openly listens to loud sad music while he does the dishes so you know he really really is sorry. so everyone in my family goes "its hard to be a single father... he needs all the help he can get. you dont understand" when ive done everything hes supposed to be doing. I raised his kids and i cleaned his house and i took care of our pets and i did the laundry. the only thing he did was cooking and thats because im fucking stupid and still have a huge fear of the oven and couldn't make food without freaking out and screaming and crying.

its the matter of context too. my mom doesn't have any legal custody. my dad has entire legal custody. he didn't make stupid legal choices, but he didn't love any of us or give a single shit about anything other than using us to get pity dates. at least my mom loves us

[gloryundimmed]

The second he saw Takeshi falter, he knew he had fucked up. Like truly fucked up. It was shocking, really— he hadn’t known Takeshi could make an expression like that, but here he was, making it because of him. And his comment about them being together being a joke? It was like the other man had taken a knife, stabbed him deep in his gut, and then twisted.

He watched, helpless, as the blond stepped away. Weakly, the hitman called out for him to stop, even tried to reach out to stop him, but it seemed like Takeshi didn’t even register his actions. Fuck. It was clear as day he had hurt him, and hurt him bad. Why the hell did he have to take what he said so personally? He had missed his point. Ignored it, even. Did he not see how fucking nervous he was, even now, his hands trembling despite willing, praying them to stop? It was all so stupid. Stupid enough to piss him off. His fingers twitched, and he balled them into fists.

Before he could stop himself, he strode up to Takeshi, grabbed hold of the front of his shirt, and yanked him close hard enough for it to hurt.

“You fucking dumbass. Did you listen to a single word of what I just said?!”

He was pissed. Seriously livid. So angry he dropped any hint of slang usually present in his speech. How could Takeshi blame for something that was clearly his fault? No one would take responsibility for his shortcomings. No one but himself.

“I try to explain, to tell you why I'm not boyfriend material, and you don’t even care to listen? I never said it was your fault. I never even said I didn’t like you. If it’s so fucking hard to understand, I’ll put it into baby terms.” He yanked Takeshi even closer before placing his hands on the other man’s shoulders and squeezing them with an iron grip. His golden eyes held unwavering, unflinching contact.

“I like you. You’re great. You’re a ray of fucking sunshine for me, and I mean that. But me? I can’t even begin to describe to you how utterly fucked I am. I know you think you're not perfect, but you have no idea. It may seem like fun and games right now, but you don’t even fucking know me— the real me. The guy who kills for pleasure, who gets his rocks off by watching people suffer. The guy who has nothing but hatred inside of him, especially for himself. The guy who can’t handle a single fucking one of his emotions properly and got addicted to smack trying to make them go away.”

The hitman pulled up one of his sleeves and showed Takeshi the track marks in the crook of his elbow, “See these? They’re here because the only thing I know how to do is escape. I’m a fucking coward, Takeshi. You may not know that, but I know. I know it so deep in my fucking bones that I can't let you make this mistake without knowing what I am. Maybe you think I’m fun, that I fuck you well, but I’m not dating material. I’ve never even been in a romantic relationship before because they scare the shit out of me. How fucking pathetic is that?”

Kai inhaled deeply at the end of his explanation, having said it all in one long breath. He finally broke eye contact and looked down, hanging his head low.

Voice dropping to a murmur, he continued, “Do you get it now? I’m just trying to protect you from making a decision you’ll regret. Anyone would regret dating me. You have nothing to do with it, so stop acting like a kicked fucking puppy. I really… can’t stand seeing you look that sad.”

With everything off his chest, he shoved Takeshi away and took a couple steps back. He couldn't even look at him anymore. God, he was so disgusted by his existence it physically hurt. It made him nauseous. “So. Now you know."

he can't help it - it's sorta cute seeing kai so flustered, yanno? watching him fumble over his words, trying to gather his thoughts and put together something that resembles a full sentence. he almost thinks about teasing kai about it, if only to fluster him more because hey, why wouldn't he? s'cute to watch -- takeshi's definitely having fun.

but then it changes.

it changes so quickly that takeshi struggles to keep up. kai won't even look at him -- is he that disgusting? is the idea of takeshi being his boyfriend so horrible that he can't even stand to look at him? and then the excuses, ha - well, s'pose he should give points for at least trying to let takeshi down easily, he's definitely the first to have done that at least.

takeshi laughs, he actually laughs - it's like he doesn't know how to respond and laughter is the first thing that comes to mind. because what else was he meant to do? he'd damn well been shot down when, in his mind, there was no way kai would've said no to him. takeshi had been so sure that this time would've been different - he'd felt it. two people having so much in common, actively seeking each other out?

god.

stupid. you're stupid. stupid stupid fuckin' dumb god damn IDIOT--

what was he thinking, really? that kai would actually see him as more than a good fuck? when had anyone ever seen him as anything other than that? why would kai be different? you're disgustin' - damaged, fuckin' crazy, takeshi. no one is gonna give you a fuckin' second glance and think you're worth anythin' -- because you're not. you never have been. all you're good for is somethin' to pass the time with - haven't you figured that out by now?

❝ right -- yeah, no. yer right -- i mean c'mon, you an' me? what a fuckin' joke-- ❞ he tries to brush it off with a joke, but there's no hiding the way his eyes seem dulled ; the way he withdraws himself from kai, steps back -- anything to put distance between the two of them. he wants to leave, needs to leave - clear his head. a drink - he needs a drink, needs to find something, someone to distract him just for tonight.

❝ i mean -- look at me, right? why would ya want me of all fuckin' people? ❞ a lump in his throat as he laughs, though it lacks any real humor, any real feeling. ❝ thought i would've learned m' lesson, right? i ain't cut out fer tha' shit -- ain't what people want, s'fine! ❞ takeshi tries to smile, but it looks too forced, too strained. he takes another step back, waves kai off.

❝ anyways! gotta go -- catch ya later-- ❞

[spidernerdsblog]

euphoria

A/N : I really couldn't come up with a good summary for this fic. Tried something new with this one also my first eddie munson fic. Let me know what you think.

Summary :  beside being your drug dealer Eddie has been a good friend of yours. This one time you get high and hookup you experience pleasure so intense with feelings leaving you both confused.

Pairing : Eddie Munson x Reader

Warnings : 18+, SMUT, minors DNI, drug use, high sex, genital piercings, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

“Hey Eddie!” The loud knock on his door jolted him out of his sleep. It was a struggle to open his eyes and his head throbbed as Eddie sat up. After a few seconds his vision cleared, his brain finally catching up as he took in the shabby interior of his trailer.

“I know you’re in there Munson! Open the fucking door!” more pounding on the door. Eddie huffed and almost tumbled out of his bed in his half awake state reaching the door and wrenching it open.

“Jesus christ woman! People are trying to sleep in here” He squinted at the bright daylight outside.

“It's four in the afternoon.” you said, shoving past him and walked inside his trailer.

“Well I had band practice and then stayed up playing dnd last night. It was a long game.” he grumbled behind you, closing the door.

“Right, your little babysitter club.” you never understood his obsession for this game that he played with a bunch of highschool kids. He once tried to explain the game to you but it went right above your head. Also you didn’t care as long as he gave you your happy pills.

To be clear you weren’t a drug addict but when your mother leaves you with a very absent rich asshole father who barely acknowledges your existence unless he has to maintain his image and show the world how loving and caring father he is, parading you at those business parties and charities. So yeah you had abandonment issues, the feeling that nobody loved you, ate you up and you wouldn't mind a reprieve from those feelings even if it’s for a short moment of time, kind of recreational you know.

Eddie decided to ignore your jab as he asked, “What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to be with your boyfriend, Connor?” 

“Ex-boyfriend.” You informed. It was Connor who had introduced you to Eddie at one of the parties he threw last summer before you all went off to college. ‘He is a freak but he got the good stuff’ he had told you. But the funny thing is Eddie was the most compassionate and friendly person you’ve come across in your life. Whenever you visited him for a new batch half of the time he would talk you out of doing hard drugs— how did that help in his income from this side business you had no clue if he went on advising potential customers not to buy drugs. But soon you realized you just needed someone to talk to, someone who would listen to you without any judgments and Eddie was the one in his weird, easy going, funny way.

“Oh Y/N… ” his face filled with concern.

“Yeah caught the bastard fucking Clarise in the bathroom at the party last night.”

“That's terrible. Are you ok?” 

“I will be if you just stop asking me questions and give me the pills.” you gritted through your teeth.

“I can't.” much to your surprise he sounded serious.

“What? Why?” 

“No Y/N, go home and let me sleep.” he strolled back to his bedroom.

“C’mon I have got the money.” you followed him while pulling out a couple of dollars from the pocket of your jean shorts.

He took a look at you and sighed. “Y/N you're upset right now I think you should talk this out I'm here for you know.” 

“Oh cut the emo crap.” you bristled.

“It's not good for you to rely on them.” 

“You started a side hustle or something? Dr. Munson free therapy Mon to Fri.” you knew it was a cheap shot but still you laughed.

Eddie just shook his head disappointedly. “It’s still a no.” 

It angered you even more who was he to make you feel guilty, you don’t need saving. “OK fine! I'm gonna take it myself then!” 

Eddie watched you search his room frantically ransacking his drawers only to find them filled with junk. He has been a drug dealer for a while now and seen people waste away just to get numb and honestly he never bothered as long as he got paid. But when it came to you he couldn’t do it. His inner conscience won’t let him. At the beginning he had sold you a few pills but now he always talked you out of it. Eddie saw you as this lively, happy soul who is stuck in a lonely, unforgiving world. Being himself labeled as the freak of the town for having different views about life he understood you. He loved talking, spending time with you and a small part of him was happy to hear that you dumped that asshole Connor’s sorry ass.

“Where is it?!” you demanded.

“I don’t have any at the moment trust me. The guy whom I got the supply from is lying low after a police raid.” he explained calmly. “And even if I had I won’t give you anymore.”

“Why?” you said weakly.

“You're my friend and you can't just escape your feelings when you are hurt.” 

“Well I don't want to feel so just give me the pills!” you yelled.

“OK, ok why don't we sit down a bit and take some calming breaths.” he made you sit down on his bed as he took the spot beside you. “I know you’re angry.”

“God I'm so angry at everybody! My mom, my dad, Connor, you...” a stray tear slid down your cheek as you wiped it off aggressively with your hand.

“I know, I know…” he murmured, brushing a soothing hand down your hair. “For what it's worth, he didn't deserve you. You were too good for him.”

“Why are you so good to me?” you rested your head on his shoulder, picking on a loose thread of your shorts.

“As I said before, you're my friend, Y/N. I care for you.” he said sincerely and your stomach did a flip, unable to stop imagining what it would be to have him as your boyfriend, so caring and supportive.

“So how is your next song coming along?” you asked, your mood quite chipper now.

“It’s still a work in progress. Steve heard the initial notes and said it sounds really good already.”

“Ah Steve…” you sighed. “That's the guy you have a crush on right?”

“No.” Eddie scowled.

“Admit it you want to fuck him.” you chuckled. “Whenever you two are together in a room the tension is so thick.”

“Oh god I'm going to need something strong.” he got up abruptly as you fell on your side on his bed giggling.

“What? If Robin was here she would agree with me.” you propped yourself on your elbow. “I understand he's steve harrington everyone wants to fuck that guy. I would do him anytime given a chance.” 

“Well I don't.” he muttered, opening a cabinet and taking out a small pouch.

“Uh huh.” you nodded mockingly and noticed the bag of pot. “Hey! How come you can smoke weed to avoid conversation but I can't?” 

“It's medicinal.” he shrugged nonchalantly.

He came and sat down on the bed as you watched him deftly roll a perfect joint filled with some strong smelling dope. Eddie lit the tip and took two very long hits before you snatched it right out of his hand. 

“Give me that!” 

He made a low sound in protest as you put it between your lips breathing in slow and deep, but it was such a hot hit that you stopped inhaling after a couple seconds. Eddie was smiling at the stunned look on your face. 

"It's good, isn't it?" he grinned. You just nodded exhaling. 

You went to hand him the joint but he didn't take it. "Take another hit," he said. "Proper joint smoking etiquette includes taking two hits before you pass it." You rolled your eyes and took another drag, exhaling curls of smoke from your mouth. 

Unfortunately the joint was out. Eddie grabbed his lighter and said, "Put the joint to your lips and I'll light it. Start inhaling when I tell you." he lit the tip, waited about three seconds, then said, "Now!" 

You inhaled deeply forcing a lungful of thick hot smoke down your throat. It burned like hell, but you smiled as you exhaled the thick dark smoke in the air. You were already starting to feel it and took another hit before handing the joint back to Eddie. His hand touched yours briefly as he took the joint. He took two equally impressive hits.

You marveled at how long he could hold the smoke in his lungs. It seemed impossible that someone could hold their breath so long. The joint was almost at the roach, Eddie noticed that too. With his gaze fixed upon you he said, “come closer.” 

You instantly knew what he was suggesting. It wasn’t like you haven’t done shotgunning before, it was the thing that happened after that. You and Eddie had hooked up. Even though it was a one time thing the sex was mindblowing. You were high just like now and the barbell piercing he had on his cock just amplified everything. You never came so hard and wouldn’t mind a repeat performance of that night. So you scooted closer to him.

He got one last good hit and cupped the back of your neck. Leaning forward his lips touched yours gingerly as you parted your own. He released the smoke he was holding in and relaxed against you, his tongue sweeping across your lips, conquering every inch.

It took so little time for you to lick into his mouth, you haven’t any idea how long you were craving for the taste of his mouth until now. And there was the added taste of the smoke, rich and fragrant stroking your taste buds, filling you with delight at the intoxicating aroma and the softness of Eddie's mouth.

Eddie pulled back grinning, “I bet you've never smoked weed that good before.” 

“No,” you rasped, “I haven't.”  you stared at his lips before meeting his brown eyes which grew darker. You lifted your hands to his face and let your fingers trace his jawline and cheeks before you slid them through his long hair and pulled him in for another kiss. 

Eddie groaned and pulled you on his lap. His hand gripped your hip as his tongue invaded your mouth, tasting me. His kiss was dominance and fire, and it set you aflame in unexpected ways. The way your tongues teased each other and your lips perfectly molded together felt as if this was more than a chance meeting. 

Eddie’s hand slid up from your hip, stroking along your ribs, spreading even more fire in its wake. Your nipples puckered against your bra. Eddie’s fingertips stroked the underside of one breast before his thumb brushed over your nipple. Heat and wetness pooled between your legs as you let out a soft whimper.

Eddie’s other hand popped open the button of your jean shorts before it slipped in, stroking over my slit.  His hand slid into your panties, two fingers pressing lightly against your clit. He sucked your lower lip into his mouth when his fingers moved up and down your folds, scissoring you until every nerve ending in your pussy awakened. You rested your head on his shoulder, nose brushing against the skin of his neck. His skin smelt surprisingly good, like soap and something masculine.

Your breath came in short pants, your body growing tense as a knot wound tighter inside your stomach with every stroke from Eddie’s fingers and he was the only one who could release it. He gathered the wetness between your folds and spread it over your clit, circling it. His breathing was coming faster now too. He never took his eyes off you as he drove you higher. The sensations became overwhelming, the knot ready to burst. 

“Yes,” Eddie rumbled, his eyes appearing black in the darkness, like they belonged to the devil you’d made a pact with.

He pushed two fingers into you and twisted them. You sucked in a sharp breath, your body screaming for release. Eddie pumped his fingers faster and you exploded, head tilting back in ecstacy.

You looked down at him with a dazed expression as he watched you coming down from your high leaning against the headboard, lips tugged into a lazy smile.

“Tell me, what do you want, sweetheart?” his voice a soft murmur, his fingers drawing soothing circles on the exposed skin of your hips. Need pulsed through your body as you said breathlessly. “Fuck me…I need you to fuck me.” 

Eddie just smiled and reached out to tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear. “Take whatever you need, Y/N. I'm all yours.” 

You crashed your lips as your hands worked on unbuttoning his jeans and then slipped your hand inside his boxers to pull out his hard length. The barbell piercing at the head of his cock gleamed in the dull light in the room. You stroked his length firmly, a bead of precum forming at the tip and you smeared it with your thumb. Your hand touched cool metal at the base of his cock and then you looked carefully to find another barbell piercing.

“You got another one?” you blinked with surprise.

“Surprise?” he said. “The ladies love it when it rubs against their clit, added stimulation.” he added smugly.

You smirked and stood up to slide down your shorts and panties. Tossing them aside you lowered yourself on him. Eddie teased your clit with his piercing until you were panting softly. Then he notched the tip of his cock to your entrance. You slowly sank down on his thick length and sucked in a sharp breath at the feeling of fullness. The cold metal of the piercing pressed against your clit like he’d said. You began to roll your hips in slow figure eights. 

Eddie’s hand wandered up to your breasts tugging the neckline of your tank top along with your bra. 

Your tits bounced free and he rolled your nipples between his fingers. You moaned, digging your nails into his chest and twisted your hip, driving his cock deeper. You leaned forward, kissing him fiercely. His piercing rubbing against your clit deliciously.

“Oh…” you breathed against his mouth. “This feels amazing.” Eddie guided your hips as you bounced up and down his cock. Your mouth fell open, body shaking overwhelmed at your orgasm hit you out of nowhere.

Eddie let out a grunt and gripped your ass cheeks flipping you over and slammed into you. With every thrust he was hitting that delicious spot deep inside you as he chased his own orgasm. Your eyes fluttered, wanting to lower and sink even deeper into the sensation. He held your gaze as he continued to fuck you with deep precise strokes.

Your inner walls clenched around him and he changed his angle slightly so that the piercing at the base of his cock stroked your swollen clit while the piercing at his head grazed against your g-spot. The dual sensation made you feel euphoric that no other drug can give you in this world. You arched into him as pleasure took hold of you. You cried out, your nails clawed at his back as you came. 

Eddie continued rutting into you, his hair falling like a curtain around his face. He captured your lips in a soft delicate kiss and you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer. His pace faltered as he spilled his warm release inside you. He pulled away as he looked at you, like really looked at you. His gaze so intense and in that moment you knew something shifted between you two but you weren’t ready to talk about it, not tonight.

“I feel so tired,” you feigned a yawn. “I think I’ll sleep in here tonight.” you turned to your side pulling over the covers and closed your eyes.

“Ok.” Eddie needed to gather his own thoughts as well so he decided to give you space and got off the bed. This conversation can happen some other time. 

..................................................................................