#ms lady thinks im annoying as shit and hates 75% of my personality because its ltierally just her personality

[computerpeople]

it makes me mad. because i scream my head off at him. im so fucking sick of his shit. but he isn't exactly the "cause" of these issues. my moms the one who did it. she's the one who made the choice to unschool me, and to raise me under the grid, and get rid of my documents, and isolate me from society. but the person who made those choices doesn't really exist anymore, she was a heroin addict in a multiple year long psychotic episode, she was also being abused by her parents, and eventually her new boyfriend after the divorce. that person isn't here with us anymore. i don't think she'd make that choice again, especeially not now that shes seen what its done to me.

but my dad has made everything worse. he let evil incarnate into our house in the form of my step mom and let her and HELPED her abuse me in any fucking conceivable way for 5 years. he *** *** **** **** ** ***** he stole my money he turned me into a house wife and a political opponent and a best friend. he neglected me for years, i wore the same underwear i did when he got divorced when i was 18. he wouldn't buy me shampoo or conditioner. he'd often not buy food and only bguy alcohol, not because we couldn't buy food but because he was tired after work.

but he isn't the source of anything. hes chickenshit scared of everything. hes big and tubby and doesn't have a back bone and dates women who make every choice for him, and when he doesn't date, he turns to me to do that for him. hes got big puppy dog eyes and a suuuuper sad voice to show off how sad and guilty he feels, and he openly listens to loud sad music while he does the dishes so you know he really really is sorry. so everyone in my family goes "its hard to be a single father... he needs all the help he can get. you dont understand" when ive done everything hes supposed to be doing. I raised his kids and i cleaned his house and i took care of our pets and i did the laundry. the only thing he did was cooking and thats because im fucking stupid and still have a huge fear of the oven and couldn't make food without freaking out and screaming and crying.

its the matter of context too. my mom doesn't have any legal custody. my dad has entire legal custody. he didn't make stupid legal choices, but he didn't love any of us or give a single shit about anything other than using us to get pity dates. at least my mom loves us