#listen I saw some people headcanon him with OCD and at first I was like 'nah'

[solarmorrigan]

Guys I can’t stop thinking about Steve with OCD

(The following deals heavily with anxiety and with themes of OCD, so please keep that in mind and skip this one if you’re worried that’ll trigger your own anxiety <3)

At first, it’s manageable. Hardly worth thinking about.

Steve's always taken pride in his appearance; no shame in wanting to look good. It's just a part of his routine: picking the right outfit, making sure everything is clean and in good condition, making sure his hair is just right. He even has a set routine specifically for doing his hair – specific products, a specific number of spritzes with the hairspray, a specific look.

And if it's not just right, he might have to redo it, yeah – it just... feels weird if he gets it wrong. He spends the whole day feeling off. Anxious. Sort of itching under his skin, for reasons he really can't articulate. It's just– it has to be right, that's all

(He hadn’t thought anyone noticed that his morning routine made him perpetually late—and even later when he messed something up and had to redo it—until Robin mentions Mrs. Click’s class the summer after he’s graduated.)

It doesn't start becoming a hindrance until after his first meeting with the demogorgon.

Before that, it had been okay if his morning routine didn't go just right. It wasn’t great, and he hadn't liked it, but he could get on with his day. After that encounter, though – it gets harder.

Everything else seems totally out of control, but his appearance? He can do that. He can control that, but it needs to be just right. If he gets it wrong, he needs to start over. If he doesn't have the time, it throws him off entirely.

He finds himself nearly in tears one morning as he drives to pick Nancy up, running horribly behind because his alarm hadn't gone off and he hadn't had the time to shower and do his hair properly, he hadn't grabbed anything to eat, he hadn’t done anything right, but he couldn't stop to do it all because he’s supposed to get Nancy to school, and– and–

He berates himself for having become this weak, emotional mess. What the fuck is his problem?

He's pretty sure he manages to get his head on straight by the time Nancy gets into the car, giving him a look that’s equal parts irritation and curiosity over why he’s kept her waiting.

He doesn’t offer an explanation.

And it's normal that he'd want his house to be clean, right? After getting into trouble with his parents for that party (after that party went so horribly wrong, resulting in Barb's death), he'd been on thin ice for a while. They’d wanted to come back to a perfect house. Nothing out of place, no messes, no evidence that Steve had had a party (or that he'd had friends over, or—god forbid—enjoyed himself in any way while they were gone). So Steve develops a routine for that, too.

It feels natural: make sure things are done a certain way in a certain order, because he tends to forget things otherwise, and make sure it's all done right.

(And if it's not right, just do it again. Do it over again. Make sure it's done in the right order, make sure it's done right. Do it again.)

This maybe results in being late to a few dates, or some lost sleep, or some homework ignored, but whatever. Steve's got it under control.

Subsequent meetings with the Upside Down just seem to make things worse

He's an athlete (or he had been, anyway), and athletes can be superstitious, right? They have little rituals for good luck. Nothing weird about that. Nothing weird about Steve needing to tap the roof of his car three times before getting in. He's driving kids around now, he needs to make sure they stay safe, and tapping the roof of the car– it's– Steve can't really explain it, it just has to be done, so they don't get into any kind of crash. It's not weird, and he can stop doing it if he really wants to, he just doesn't want to.

(He doesn't want to because the few times he’d tried driving without doing it, he'd been so fucking anxious he'd nearly crashed just because he'd been so jumpy about other people on the road. But that's his business.)

His list of chores around the house grows, even though his parents no longer comment on the state of things (or really talk to him much at all). It's just that he needs it all to be right. Things need to be in the right places, things need to be organized properly, so Steve knows where everything is just in case he or anyone else needs it.

(This isn't to say that it always makes sense. A box of cereal lives exclusively on the counter, rather than in the pantry, because that's where the box of cereal needs to be. Steve can't put it away because it belongs on the counter. If he eats it all, he makes sure he already has another to replace it. He'd almost yelled at Dustin once for putting the box back in the pantry after using it, because it doesn't go in the pantry, it goes on the fucking counter, that's just where it goes.)

He snaps at Robin once or twice when she tries to take over any of his usual closing duties at Scoops Ahoy, which definitely doesn't endear him to her, even if he doesn't really mean to do it, it's just that it's what he usually does, and he needs to make sure it's done right. He's not doubting her ability, he just... needs to make sure for himself.

(By the time they hit Family Video together, Robin is used to it. She leaves him to whatever closing duties he's decided are his and even reminds him sometimes where he is in his routine when he spaces out or has trouble thinking straight through a headache, saving him the trouble of having to restart to make sure it's all done. Sometimes he restarts anyway, because he needs to be sure, but he appreciates that she pays attention.)

There are nights when he can't sleep, when he needs to make sure everyone is alright, when he'll get into his car and make a circuit around town, driving past everyone's house just to make sure nothing is amiss.

There are bad nights when he needs to make the circuit three times: the first time to check, the second time to be sure he hadn't missed anything the first time, and the third time to make sure the first two times weren't a fluke. He taps the roof of his car when he gets in, and now he does it three times when he gets out – can't hurt to be careful, right?

But it isn't a problem. None of this is a problem, it's just the way Steve deals with things. It's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a problem. Not at all.

It’s not a problem until he's meant to be meeting Robin and Eddie for a movie, when he's made it halfway down the street before wondering if he'd checked that the stove was off.

He's pretty sure he had, but what if he hadn't? He'd used it this morning to make breakfast. It might still be on. He has to check.

He pops a U-turn and heads back home. He'll just check the stove real quick and then get going.

Except once he's back in the house, he has to check everything else before he can leave. Check the stove, check that his hair dryer is unplugged, check that there’s a light on in every room (lights are important, lights are a warning, and Steve cannot come back to a dark house), check that all the windows are locked, check the back door, check that the front door is locked properly, check that his bat is in the trunk. Tap the roof of the car, start it up, pull out of the driveway – is the hair dryer unplugged?

He's pretty sure it is, he knows he checked it, but had he really been paying attention? Is he sure?

He's back in the driveway, back in the house, before he's even really conscious of making the decision.

Check the stove, check the hair dryer, check the lights, check the windows, check the back door, check the front door – had he done all that in the right order? If he hadn't, he might have forgotten to do part of it. He'd better just–

Robin and Eddie find him sitting on the kitchen floor over an hour later, after he hadn't shown up, after he hadn't answered their calls (he'd been too busy checking things around the house to answer the phone).

He can't quite breathe right and he's not sure if he should be laughing or crying because he's realized that he can't leave the house. He can't leave, because he might have forgotten something, something might be out of place, and then something bad might happen. Bad things have happened already, and if more were to happen because of him—because he'd failed a step, failed to get everything right—he wouldn't be able to stand it.

So it's... a bit of a problem.

[queersturbate]

Pls pls talk about Light having ocpd AND about Lawlight disorder solidarity, I could listen to you all day!! Your brain is huge

hello!! :D

of course! ive been sitting on these ocpd!Light and neurodivergent solidarity lawlight asks for a bit trying to think and get more knowledge and opinions on the subjects so i think it's finally time to answer them!

Firstly i need to restate that OCPD is a personality disorder and is not the same thing as OCD. OCPD is defined by the person who has it being completely obsessed with rules, order, and control with the person thinking their thoughts and behaviors are correct (while people with OCD have unwanted intrusive thoughts). OCPD and OCD have a few overlapping symptoms with each other so it can be hard distinguishing them, but it is possible to have both! Which I think Light does. One difference between the disorders is that OCD starts early in childhood, OCPD, like most personality disorders, appear in a person's late teens or early twenties.

with all mental disorders/illnesses you need certain symptoms to be able to be diagnosed (eg. PTSD- in order to be diagnosed you need to have flashbacks and experience dissociation, i am a person who has been medically diagnosed with PTSD and this is what my therapist told me) and so with OCPD there is also a list of symptoms you need to have. The thing i saw has a series of 8 symptoms and at least four need to be present in order to be diagnosed with OCPD.

These are the ones I think fit Light: preoccupied with rules, lists, order, organization, and schedules so much that the point of the activity they're working on is lost to them. (think of Light using a testing the notebook and extending and figuring out every little rule and loophole), shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion, is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the point where they cut out friendships and leisure activities, is overconscientious/scrupulous/inflexible about matters of ethics/morals/values, shows rigidity and stubbornness, is unable to discard of items even if useless, and is hesitant to work with others unless the other's submit to do exactly what they say and want.

okay now i've explained just a tiny bit of my OCPD!Light headcanon but you also asked for lawlight nd solidarity so i must talk about that before this gets too long! So, first let's get what disorders/mental illnesses I think Light and L have out of the way.

With L i think they have: autism spectrum disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and ADHD.

For Light i think he has: narcissistic personality disorder, a god complex, obsessive compulsive disorder, obsessive compulsive personality disorder, and POSSIBLY ADHD. My friend and I are talking about it. I haven't decided if I see it yet.

I think L has more understanding on why his brain is the way that it is. Why he has these thoughts and what's going on with them. He's very self aware and had probably read up on his disorders, and self diagnosed himself since I doubt the wammy house would provide therapists for the kids. Watari probably also helped L with his disorders and identifying them. However, Light on the other hand does not know why his brain is the way that it is. And honestly with NPD and his god complex he doesn't really care tbh, people with NPD/God complexes are delusional and even tho some can be aware a lot of people aren't. But with OCD he worries that everyone will see him as Not Normal and an imperfection if he lets those symptoms show. Again, not knowing why he feels like the need to flick a light switch on and off 7 times or else his family will be robbed, will make him feel like he is not the perfect man he has convinced everyone into thinking he is. A perfect man doesn't have to fold a shirt 6 times because it didnt feel right. Or need time alone in his room because he touched something that felt off to him.

I think that Light has had everyone around him fooled into thinking he is neurotypical. But L, as always in regards to Light, saw through his attempts of squashing his symptoms and tendencies out of view of others. I think im going to answer another lawlight nd solidarity ask listing some headcanons i have so it'll look cleaner and this won't be too long. so that's all for now on the Light is not neurotypical saga, tune in again and I'll talk about gay people

[vivid-wisp]

You know how it be suffering from big brainrot being into FNF so I’ve compiled a list of ideas for the characters. This is more so for myself but thought I'd share some of my ideas. Take this as you will, these headcanons are based on educated guesses, actual lore, or just for fun. I also really like explaining my reasoning for some stuff so be ready for that. Long post. :]

Boyfriend / BF

- Is asian specifically Japanese, based on the idea how the dev team like to agree Hatsune Miku is BF’s canon sibling. Can also be asian American.

- Despite his appearance BF is actually somewhat physically strong and capable. If he can’t rap battle someone he’d be down to beat someone up, based on the idea how PA (Phantom Arcade) says he sucks at FromSoftware games and would rather throw down IRL than in video games.

- Him and Pico were exes, but they dated when they were WAY YOUNGER, and this was before when BF or Pico knew how to handle a relationship properly. Pico was the one to call things off. (more on Pico’s section) They may still get kind of flustered around each other.

- For most of his childhood, BF never really felt like he stood out. It leads into the reason why he likes singing since it ironically feels like he's being heard, despite not really liking to talk a lot. He was a very quiet kid back then. He'd always liked singing and rapping, he just wasn't put into a position of intense judgement until meeting GF's father and mother, rockstar and ex-rockstar. Training arc begins.

- BF took courses/majored in music design or sound design in college, but dropped out to spend more time with Girlfriend and practice his musical talent himself seeing as it felt more natural than doing boring classes.

- Despite what people think, BF doesn’t dye his hair. It WAS a different color but a shade, like a lighter blue color when he was younger. (Based on Ninjamuffin/NM's recent AMA answers)

- BF owns a dog, not specific but definitely a large breed of dog that stays at home and is taken care of by his parents. He loves a lot of pets and animals, especially anything blue.

- It’s no surprise BF isn’t the smartest, but this comes from a place of putting on the “bad boy” act and being told he’d never make it anywhere in life so he never tried. BF is really a soft guy who deep down has a good heart and just wants to show his appreciation to the person (GF) who makes him feel okay knowing you don’t have to be the best.

- BF actually CAN speak, but chooses to be selectively mute. More so because he’s not the best when it comes to words, and he’s never felt the need to talk. Don’t expect much because like in Week 6, it’ll likely just be random noises he makes or his signature “beeps!” He still reacts, just with noises. (we ignore the logic of him singing it just sounds like beeps to us the players while everyone in universe perfectly understands) [just saw NM's recent AMA I GODDAMN CALLED IT LET'S GOOOO]

Girlfriend / GF

- GF unsurprisingly, has a very wealthy background and in turn family too. So she’s no stranger to most expensive things. This doesn’t mean she won’t appreciate anything BF gifts her, in fact she’s more than appreciative of anything if it comes from BF her love.

- May or may not be a demon like her parents but she doesn’t want to scare BF, and also has slight appearance anxieties about it so she chooses to hide it by staying in her “human” form. She's self conscious of appearing like a demon, and doesn't want to scare people away just based on her look.

- So yes GF can and will in fact beat you up, a lot more than BF if she really wanted to. Especially if she went into her demon form.

- Also not the brightest, due to her extravagant background she’s been so spoiled to the point where everything is handed to her on a silver plate. Which also means her intelligence. They're both himbo/bimbo dynamic I don’t make the rules sorry.

- Actually really good at singing herself too, she’s a bit more wonky with rapping but she’s still good. Ties into the fact GF is the first to teach you how to rap/sing in the tutorial. If she really wanted to, she would destroy BF in a singing battle.

- Kinda aloof and can be apathetic, but more in the sense of “oh cool" instead of a "not caring" feeling way. Like moving on from something that was most definitely not cool like oh my god does that monster with bloody human teeth have a lemon for a head-

- Absolutely adores the large height difference between her and BF. She loves picking BF up suddenly and swinging him around. It’s cute and funny to her. (BF likes the height difference dynamic too but he'd never admit it)

Pico

- Pico never went to college nor finished, instead he takes up jobs from around the city as a mercenary. He's so skilled to the point it pays well enough he doesn't really need a job. He owns a small apartment.

- He likes spending time when he's not on the job, around BF and GF but this is more so at a distance. He does hang out with them, but don't expect him to show up automatically by their side. Like maybe once a week.

- Despite his original job to kill BF, Pico is very protective of BF and looks out for him albeit distantly. He knows BF can handle himself, but he will risk jumping into a situation if BF needs help. ONLY when he needs help.

- Pico still spends time with Nene and Darnell, but this is more so as an acquaintance thing. They're still friends, but all three of their jobs (as assassin and mercs) make things kind of awkward and distance from one another.

- Pico has a lot of untreated trauma, whether that be PTSD, schizophrenia, OCD, etc, a lot of it is very untreated. While Pico is aware he has some mental health disorders he's not aware of ALL of them. He frankly doesn't care nor does he really feel like dedicating the time to properly help himself, which stems from his upbringing in his childhood, "deal with it" attitude back then. He doesn't think it's a big deal, even though deep down he knows he should seek help. Especially after hanging out with BF and GF who, unsurprisingly, are (relatively) normal in the head unlike his friends Nene and Darnell. His disorders disrupt his everyday life and living routine, he can have a lot of very bad days.

- Pico is a wannabe DJ, he likes to sing and rap but prefers the latter and likes listening to music more rather than doing it itself. When he was a kid he liked BF for his passion for singing and rapping, and admired him in a way.

- BF and Pico went to the same elementary school, and were very much friends. After the events of Pico's School, Pico acted very different than how BF knew him, and somewhere along that path BF and Pico decided to date each other when they were in middle school (at 13-14). This was very much a hasty decision and didn't end well. Pico was the one to break things off due to knowing he couldn't handle the responsibility of another person, especially in a relationship. He had too much on his plate already from the trauma that still haunted him, and also was around the time Pico told BF he would be getting homeschooled instead after many years of decision with Pico's parents. It was best to end things before they'd spiral and get worse.

- While BF was heartbroken, he knew it was for the better even if he was upset for quite a bit. After Pico became homeschooled and left middle school, BF noticeably became more quiet until he'd meet GF near the beginning of high school. Pico and BF tried to keep in contact, but eventually naturally just fell out of touch with each other, both too busy with their own lives now. Pico never really resolved his whole feelings issues, which still show up when he'd meet BF years later again but knows those feelings are best left behind.

- While Pico was very surprised and shocked to see BF again despite being commissioned to kill BF, BF himself was too busy being caught up in seeing an old friend again. Whether that be BF was either too dumb to realize he was being killed or because he was genuinely very happy to see his old friend again, the two had a small reconcile after so many years and decided to rap for old time's sake.

[mottephobia-imagines]

BNHA as Hetalia Characters (Axis + Allies only)

Hahahahaaaa.. I’m still Hetalia trash 😇

—

Mirio Togata as America

I first put Denki as America but then I saw a post and now I can’t stop thinking about BTT SeroKiriKami so yeah-

Mirio and America have more things in common other than being blond, blue-eyed precious beans that need to be protected

First of- s t r o n g. They’re both canonically some of the strongest characters in their respective series despite their relatively young ages (Mirio being above some pro-hero levels despite still being in high school and America being well America lmao)

Additionally, they both have drive; they have a determination to become as strong as they possibly could, and stop at nothing to get there

Also, they love helping people! Mirio wants to save a million smiles, and America is a self-proclaimed hero (who admittedly isn’t the best but he’s trying okay)

Both of them kinda also have a hidden intelligence? Like, as in one would never think of them to be highly intelligent people because they’re so goofy and energetic

Since it’s implied that both Tamaki and Mirio game in their free time, him and America are also avid gamers (imagine them playing smash together lmao I feel like they’d break all the controllers)

Both v v competitive too (not as much as the next duo tho)- they’ll never back down from a challenge and face it head on with all their might!

Also, they’re basically the blond boy of the month but it’s every month lmao

(In my eyes they’re both cute little golden retrievers shshsjdjskal)

In conclusion, they’re sunshines who deserve the world and more

Katsuki Bakugo as England

Okay fr hear me the fuck out-

I know it’s an unlikely pair

But they have their similarities just bear with me here

Yes, I was initially going to put in Romano for Bakugo (anger issues gang)

But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that unlike Romano, he wouldn’t back away from a challenge or run at the slightest scare- Bakugo would take that shit and smother it into the ground

And while England may sometimes be portrayed as a prude gentleman type, we can’t forget his history- this man is probably one of, if not the most, ballsy countries to exist (at least back in his prime)

England is smart, calculated and cunning- how could you not be when you’ve conquered nearly the whole damn world?

He’s proud and maybe a bit too egotistical, and while lacking the anger issues and probably dead vocal cords of Bakugo, he sure as hell matches him in the pride and power aspect

Bakugo, on the other hand, is literally top of his class; boy is a nerd and has a perfect record

So he’s by no means any less smart than England, maybe a little more reckless, but he’s 16- you can’t exactly compare his mindset to a country’s

Even so he does act quickly on the battlefield, much like England assessed situations very precariously (most of the time)

Both of them would probably look an opponent dead in the eye and tell them to do it, bet you won’t pussy ass

On a lighter note tho, they’re two blond, spiky-haired tsunderes who are way to proud and smart for their own good

They also both listen to rock/punk so there’s that too

foreverfurrowedbrowclubTM

Aoyama Yuuga as France

I know I just said SeroKamiKiri is the BTT but once again hear me out

I couldn’t not put Aoyama in as France

It’s literally a match made in Heaven guys cmon

They’re both sparkling, flamboyant and fabulous blondies

Although sometimes their attitude can be interpreted as holier-than-thou, really they just know that they’re amazing and don’t care what people think (we stan confident kings 😤)

They also know that they deserve the best luxuries in life, and definitely won’t settle for anything else

In terms of courage, they’re pretty much on the same level; they get scared easily and will more than likely either back out of the challenge or give up the moment they feel tired

The difference is, France will never regain whatever bravery he had before the French Revolution, but Aoyama is slowly building his courage up in his journey to become a hero

They also take things in stride, willingly or unwillingly (whether it be an ugly outfit or a defeat, they won’t be a sore loser lmao)

While not necessarily flirty like France, Aoyama can still charm people with his whims. Also, their relationship towards people that they can’t charm kind of mirrors one another? (Might be reaching here lmao)

I do think though sometimes that Aoyama shows some similarities with Poland/2P!Romano, but he has the most similarities with France so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Toga Himiko as Russia

You may say she’s more like Belarus but nay nay I say

Belarus is the more kind of ‘stoic’ cruel in my mind; she doesn’t show much emotion besides annoyance and getting angry

Russia however

He’s ‘childishly’ cruel- looks innocent but is capable of some horrible, monstrous things.

Even though his face says otherwise, he does take some glee in torturing harming others (like, a lot)

Toga also does this, but in a much more obvious way lmao. She’s a villain, who drinks blood, there’s no doubt she hasn’t killed anyone. She also takes a lot more pleasure from hurting people than Russia does

They not that close with people, but the ones they are close to they are immensely protective of (Toga and the LOV, Russia and his sisters)

They also are capable of being highly intelligent, knowing more than what people think they know (Toga helping Twice our, and I high key headcanon Russia as a manipulative and cunning bastard who’s done many horrible things to people to get his way)

(I still love you Ivan)

I think this goes without saying but they’re really really violent

Russia just likes using his magic metal pipe of pain, and Toga likes her knives

They also have some really shitty pasts that have lead them to be who they are today

They may look cute on the outside, but they are oh so very cruel on the inside

Shota Aizawa as China

Haha, old man syndrome-

These two have more in common than you’d think

First off, they have that wisdom that comes with age, and are trying to get the younger ones to learn it (Aizawa does this better lmao)

I can totally see them complaining about ‘kids these days’ even tho they’ve done the same shit back then-

Along with wisdom comes cunning and craft. I headcanon China as a low key genius, so he’s probably on par with Aizawa, if not better (in terms of battle strategy and such)

Even though they come off as strict, all they really want is the best for their students/siblings

They’re both physically strong (China was probably once hella jacked, and Aizawa speaks for himself)

They do tire out quite easily tho so there’s that

Both have a penchant for cute animals like cats (Hello Kitty’s a cat don’t @ me)

On a darker note, they’ve both suffered losses of close friends. While China has definitely lost a lot more, Shirakumo’s ‘death’ still took a huge toll on him. Likewise, China has lost all his ancient friends over the years, making him the last one left (except turkey and Mongolia they don’t matter rn)

Tenya Iida as Germany

You cannot tell me this isn’t also a match made in heaven

They’re literally, at their very core, almost the exact same person

Iida is a stickler for rules- he follows every single one of them. Any and every. Pretty organized too, if I do say so myself

Likewise, Germany is also very strict with rules and regimens. He’s also canonically OCD so mans cannot stand messes (people or things)

It may make them seem like pains in the neck but really it’s the only way they know how to interact

Also have some angsty connections with their brothers

Although not as easily provoked as Germany, Iida can still be just as terrifying (mans tried to kill Stain I mean come on-)

As with nearly all of these characters, they’re both strong as hecc

Also, I feel like both of them are somewhat pressured by what their other family members have accomplished and want to achieve the same thing (Iida coming from a family of superheroes, and Germany really looking up to his father and brother and wanting to be like them but less yknow)

They don’t really know how to communicate well?? Like, of course they can talk and hold conversation but they have difficulty with most social interactions (it’s adorable)

More often than not the louder voice of reason within their friend group (Everyone in the Dekusquad besides Deku himself is the voice of reason lmao, and Germany is a no-nonsense kind of guy)

Smart bois (In Gakuen Hetalia, Germany is said to be one of the smartest students and tutors Italy, and Iida tries his best)

All in all very awkward and loud losers beans that need to learn how to not be so stiff lmao

Shoto Todoroki as Japan

Y’all already know I had to pair the introverts together

Calm, collected and reserved- these two mind their own business like it’s a sports championship lmao

Even though they may come off as intimidating sometimes, in reality they’re just shy and don’t really know the basics of social interaction (more than Germany and Iida lmao)

They’re both fairly strong, too (Todoroki with his icy hot quirk makes him one of the most OP characters in MHA imo, and Japan definitely doesn’t carry around a katana just for show)

Very very convoluted and not so great childhood (Think the sengoku period was Japan’s childhood so he was basically torn up as a kid while Todoroki had to deal with Endebitch)

Also both pretty smart??? Like, high key they’re both very intelligent and skilled

Both their friends are slowly helping them get out of that super duper introverted mindset, but the poor bbs are still trying to learn how to be a lot less stiffe

They’re also really into architecture esp traditional Japanese architecture (canon in both)

I honestly think they’d get along pretty well if they met, tbh

(Japan would get him into anime and manga and the bookworm in Todoroki can’t resist)

The strange circumstance of Italy

Honestly, I could not find anyone in MHA that was remotely similar to Italy

I was very close to putting in Mina or Nejire, since those two come to mind whenever I think of bright and bubbly (Maybe Kirishima too, but it just doesn’t fit)

So while those two are pretty much the most fitting I feel, they don’t completely encompass his character enough yonow?

Like, I genuinely cannot find anyone who is similar enough to compare him to

So for now, until I can find a suitable pick, Italy won’t have a MHA character to be paired up with 😔 sorry guys

—

What do you guys think? Do you agree or do you think different characters should be put in place?

If this gets enough notes, I might make a part 2 including female nations and the others (or whatever characters you guys request)

Requests are still open! You can ask for edits or character imagines/headcanons!

[beclynn-herondale]

Jace Herondale for the character ask

Hi dear, thanks for the ask and I hope all is well and that you're staying safe 🧡🧡

Also thank you for this, I love Jace

Favorite thing about them

How much he's grown and changed and become a better version of himself, also one was when he walked away from Valentine and didn't go with him in City of Bones, for abuse victims not listening to your abuser or not doing everything they want or walking away is one of the bravest and hardest things to do, from my experience it is anyways, did he still have conversations with Valentine yes but he said no and never truly went back, that's huge and not talked about enough. and also how even with everything he went through he didn't give up and kept going and he encouraged me to keep going.

Least favorite thing about them

I don't have one, i have always loved Jace and maybe it's partly because I related to him so much and saw through his mask and walls from the beginning because I am like that and I understood his actions and all that.

Favorite line

"It means 'Shadowhunters: looking better in black then the widow's of our enemies since 1234" and "I know, everytime you almost die, I almost die myself." And "as if I could stop loving you. As if I would want to give up the thing that make me stronger then anything else ever had. Since the first time I saw you, I have belonged to you completely." And "my heart is your heart. My hands are your hands." And "I love you, and I will love you until I die, and of there's a life after that, I'll love you then."

brOTP

Jace and Alec, Simon and Jace, Izzy and Jace

OTP

Clace / Clary x Jace

nOTP

Alec x Jace ( romantically), Jace x Izzy ( romantically) Jimon ( romantically ) if you ship Jimon do not take this as an offense it's cool, it's just not my thing and I see them as friends and that's it.

Random headcanon

It's not random but I think Jace has Anxiety that's just never explicitly been said.

Unpopular opinion

People give Jace way to much shit and hate, and forget to remember that he was an abuse victim and has trauma and OCD canonly and probably other mental things and need to understand that he is not the person he was at 16, like many of us are not who we were when we were younger, that he has had probably some of the biggest character development out of most of the characters, and that he was told at 6 years old that to love is to destroy and to be loved is the one to be destroyed, yeah that's gonna mess anyone up, especially because his formative years were spent being abused and neglected and manipulated and so yeah he made mistakes and said hurtful and stupid shit and was an asshole but he has grown.

Song I associate with them

Natural by Imagine Dragons. honestly I Said Hi by Amy Shark a little reminds me a little of him. Lost My Mind by Alice Kristiansen. Fix Me by Icon For Hire and War by Icon For Hire.

Favorite picture of them

This art by @alexandracurteart

[anime-scenarios-galore]

Hello, may I request a male ( to be matched with) matchup please and thank you from Fairy Tail, Ouran and Bhna (pro hero -not endeavor, please- or villian) . LINK -  The first part is infoship2 (.) tumblr (.) (com) (without the parentheses). You can take as much time as you need to, I don’t mind being patient & waiting. If you want the information shorter or need anything else, let me know.

Hello,of course you can. I was surprised at how long the information was,but I didn’t mind. The more information,the easier it is for me to match people up and make headcanons for them. Thanks for requesting!

Fairy Tail Matchup:

I match you up with..dun,dun,dun! Gray Fullbuster! He’s the first person that came to mind when I saw your description. In my opinion,your relationship would work out will. You two are pretty compatible.

Here’s some headcanons~

-It’s easy for him to tell if you’re genuinely happy or not. It’s like a sixth sense,in a way. Although,he gets confused from time to time about which personality is your true personality,but it doesn’t bother him.

-You two have a few similar traits. You both act indifferent to things,and you both  don’t like seeing those you care about hurt.

-You both are observers. He likes how you both like to observe,it’s something he likes bonding with you about. If that makes sense.

-He likes how he can confide in you,and that you’re such a great listener. He’ll lend you a shoulder to lean when you need or want it.

-Gets you a pet on your 3rd month anniversary,so that you won’t get lonely when he goes on missions without you.

-Encourages you to show your negative emotions around him,and he’ll do his best to do the same.

-Does his best to help you with your anxiety,OCD,and depression. He probably has depression himself,but hides it,most likely.

-Asks you how you’re feeling. This boi knows when you’re lying about your feelings,but he won’t really push you tell him. Does his best to make you happy,and not feel a lot of negative emotions.

-Researches facts about animal. Brings you to dates where there’s a lot of animals so he can see you smiles,it’s sweet,really.

-Tells you to not second guess yourself,and tries to boost up your confidence.

-Always being himself around you. Extremely honest,but it’s hard sometimes. He does have a pretty traumatic backstory,but he’s trying.

-You have no idea how pretty clueless he is about dating at first. He came to Mirajane for advice,and he still does.

-Uses terrible and extremely pickup lines on you,but fails miserably. He’s getting better,though. Slightly. He’s getting pickup lines from Loke,so don’t expect much.

-Treats you like you’re the most special person,and you are. He loves you so much. You both understand each others,and balance each other well. Even though the start of your relationship was rocky,it’s far from it now.

Other possible matchup(s): Loke

Ouran Matchup:

The one and the only,Kaoru Hitachiin! One half of the “Little Devil” types. You two would be like two peas in a pod.

Here’s some headcanons~

-First of all,you’re his first girlfriend. He’s in the Host Club,so he’s used to flattering females,but not by flirting with them. You’re the second female that caught his interest.

-Researches about being a good boyfriend. Also goes to Honey-senpai for advice,like all the time.

-Very playfully towards you,but he doesn’t overdo it.

-He’s easy-going,unlike Hikaru. All your dates would be nice and sweet. Takes you to see rare animals,and tells you facts about them. Will literally fly you out of the country just to go to a zoo which has rare and cute animals.

-You two binge watch movies at his house. Also,video games. He has tons of them. He’ll even give you video games that haven’t even come out yet.

-Makes the chefs cook you two new foods you haven’t tried it. He loves trying new foods,too. Expect Hikaru to join you two once in a while.

-Buys lots of board games and puzzles for you two to play,and put together. He gets the weirdest and craziest board games.

-If you want to go anywhere,tell him. He’ll take you wherever you want to go. He also loves traveling,it’s wonderful to see new things. Especially if he’s with you.

-He’ll hire a private tutor to help you learn Spanish,he’ll learn alongside you two. He wants to have conversations with you in Spanish so others won’t know what you two are talking about.

-Learns how to sew and knit to impress you. He won’t admit how long it took for him to even learn how to put the thread through the eye of the needle.

-Surprisingly,he’s trying to learn how to cook. So far,it’s going good. He can cook basic food,like eggs and bacon. He’s still trying to figure out how to cook rice. He keeps burning it for some reason. He wants to be able to make you a tasty bento someday.

-He handles it pretty well when your temper acts up. He does his best to calm you down,like he does with Hikaru. He has lots of experience with it.

-Tells you how amazing you are,and how much he loves you everyday. He appreciates you so much,he’s willing to do anything for you.

-Tries to help you overcome your anxiety and depression,but he doesn’t know how to tell with OCD. It confuses him,but hey,he’s doing his best here.

-Leaves orange roses on your table every morning,and a cute note stuck on it.

Other possible matchup(s): Tamaki Suoh

Bnha/Mha Matchup:

Ooh la la la~ I match you up with...*drum rolls*  Keigo Takami,aka Hawks! Yes,the number 2 hero~

Here’s some headcanons~

-For some reason,you caught his attention. He doesn’t know why,but he’s head over heels in love with you. You’re just so different from other females.

-Loves how you listen to him. He always comes to you to rant while holding you in his arms,his chin on top of your head.

-He wishes he has more free time to spend with you. He really wishes that he was a lower ranked hero so he can take it easy,and spend lots of time with you.

-Leaves small but romantic gifts at your window whenever he can’t spend time with you.

-Pretty cocky that he’s in a relationship,but he doesn’t dare tell anyone in fear of you getting hurt or worse.

-You two were best friends for a while until he asked you out. He fell in love with at first sight,but he wanted to get to know you better first.

-Pickup lines all the time. It just won’t stop.

-Hard for him to be completely honest with you,but he’s doing it inch by inch.

-Prefers indoor dates instead of outdoor dates. He just wants to be able to have you in him arms,and cuddle,and kisses.

-It doesn’t seem like it,but he’s working hard to be a good boyfriend. He actually thinks a lot about what to text you,or what gifts he can get for you.

-He will talk your ear off. It doesn’t matter if you’re listening or not,he’ll just keep on talking. After he’s done,he wants cuddles and kisses.

-Tells you it’s perfectly fine to express your true emotions around him,and he’ll do the same. He wants you to be able to express your negative emotions around him,too.

-Compliments you every single day,and hopes to get your confidence up,because he’s a good boyfriend like that.

-He understands why you have a human chameleon personality,but he tells you to just be yourself around him. He won’t judge you. Ever.

Other possible matchup(s): Taishiro Toyomitsu/Fat Gum

Sorry I couldn’t add gifs,they weren’t loading for me.

Hope you enjoy~

[pika-ace]

Foster Dog Hamilton AU-Character Descriptions

((I combined all your submissions into one to save space cause I’m kinda OCD like that, okay X3))

Burr Breed: Black Lab Appearance: Um…a black lab,lol. Dark brown eyes. Breed Info: To be honest, this is just what I’ve always imagined Burr to look like as a dog. While Labs are usually very hyper, many can have a calm disposition as well. They are very friendly and charming to lots of people, as well as intelligent. Background: Burr was born to a breeding pair of Black Labs that were owned by an official breeder. He was adopted by a man at a little younger than two months. He was very hyper and playful, which amused his master at first, but as he grew bigger the man grew tired of the constant barking, and began yelling at Burr when he began to get loud, even kicking him at some points. Burr soon grew afraid to bark or make much of any noise. If he even moved around the house too much his master would get angry. He trembled at any raised voice, even at voices raised in excitement. His life soon became both monotonous and stressful at the same time. A personal motto he ended up developing was “Bark less,Wag more”. At a little under a year old, his owner finally grew tired of having him around and tied him up outside the animal shelter one night. When the employees found him they took him in right away. The attempts to adopt him out were unsuccessful, as due to his anxiety he would never play with anyone who came to look at him or interact with them much at all. Plus,he would show great fear at raised voices and barking, as if he would be punished for other dogs barking. The shelter employees decided to ask the Washingtons if they could take him. Perhaps they could help him to be a normal dog again. 

Laurens Breed: Beagle/Retriever mix Appearance: Slightly taller Beagle body, golden brown color with a white chest,fluffy floppy ears, light brown eyes. Scar on his tail. Breed Info: Beagles are friendly social dogs. They usually get along well with others. They do tend to howl and bark when left alone though due to separation anxiety. They also love to track scents,though they must be watched carefully because this can cause them to wander and get lost. Beagles owners have to work hard to train these dogs to listen, as they sometimes their pets will ignore their directions, especially when tracking a scent. Beagles are also one of the most popular breeds in South Carolina. Background: Laurens was born to a beagle father and retriever mother in a small family home. His other siblings were sold but he was kept by the original family. They had a hard time teaching him not to howl and wander off. Eventually he ended up wandering so far that he became lost. After days of trying to find his way back, he finally made it,but his father,who never really liked having the puppies around and still didn’t care for Laurens himself,chased him away before the family saw him,giving him a good bite on the tail. He was picked up by a shelter a few days later. The Washingtons were still new to this foster care thing, so they decided to try and foster him, so he was sent to Virginia to be their second foster.

Lafayette Breed: Picardy Spaniel Appearance: Just as a Picardy Spaniel looks, brown eyes Breed Info: The Picardy Spaniel originated in France as a gun dog. Today it’s nature is active,affectionate, and alert. They are great family dogs and are content to stay by their family’s side. Due to their alertness,they are excellent watchdogs and will sound the alarm if something is amiss. They are easy to train from a young age. They do best with a positive and consistent leadership. They are great with children. Background: Lafayette was born in France and purchased by an older couple living in France. After a few months, their schedule would not allow them to give as much time to him as he needed. Rather than just send him to anybody, the couple asked their friends the Washingtons to take care of him back in America. Lafayette was flown to them some time later, and has been with them since. It was soon after that the Washingtons decided to foster some more animals.

Hercules Breed: Pitbull/Rottweiler mix Appearance: Rottweiler style body, a bit leaner however. Brown brindle coloring. Brown eyes. Breed Info: Both Pitbulls and Rottweilers have a bad reputation due to many being used in dog fights. Both breeds are affectionate and protective towards people. They make good guard dogs and are both active and intelligent. Rottweilers are very alert and aware of their surroundings. They are levelheaded and calm. Pitbulls can be fearless,yet stubborn. Both breeds were used to drive livestock in the past. Background: Hercules was born into a dog fighting organization, but at a few months old he was rescued in a police raid. Despite being rescued as a pup, nobody wanted to take him, especially as he looked more and more intimidating as he grew older. At a couple years old, the staff was thinking he would never be taken by anyone,until the Washingtons took him in. He was the third dog that they fostered and kept,after Lafayette and Laurens. Unfortunately for Hercules, he is often feared by people who can’t see past his breed and history, but he is one of the sweetest dogs.

Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy Breed: Golden Retriever Appearance: Angelica: Darker gold wavy coat Eliza:Straight gold coat Peggy: Light cream coat Breed Info: Golden Retrievers are even-tempered, intelligent and affectionate. They were bred to retrieve game for their masters. They enjoy being in water and are very easy to train. They can be trained for many different things. They enjoy being around other dogs as well Background: These three sisters were born in the same litter and are inseparable. They were adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Schuyler at a few months old and have been there ever since. Angelica enjoys going duck hunting with Mr. Schuyler, Eliza gets spooked by the gunshots however, and Peggy is a little too hyper to stay quiet, so they stay home with Mrs. Schuyler. They live nearby the Washingtons’ home, and their owners have been friends with them for years,so they often go over to their home,as it is large enough for many dogs. Eliza is so calm and gentle and Peggy is so friendly that Mrs. Schuyler volunteers them as therapy dogs for children in schools and hospitals. 

(Just a little note that I forgot to add in my submissions. I made Jefferson and Madison cats because I thought it would fit them better in this AU. I may send in an alternate description where they are dogs, but for me, I headcanon them as cats. Plus, it sounds less overwhelming when you say someone is caring for five dogs and two cats rather than seven dogs.)

Jefferson Breed: Ragamuffin Cat Appearance: Brown tabby,long-haired, light blue eyes. Magenta collar Breed Info: Ragamuffins are large and long. Their fur is long, soft, and silky. It needs to be brushed daily to keep all the tangles out of the coat. They usually have a docile nature and love to be held or lay on laps. They crave attention and can become clingy. Background: Jefferson belonged to a wealthy elderly lady. He was very spoiled from the moment she bought him. The best quality,most expensive wet cat food,groomed every day and night, and the softest bed. It all ended when she passed away when he was older. After a little while, some people dropped him off at the animal shelter. He mourned his poor owner as he sat in the kennel he had been placed in. He turned up his nose at the food they offered him, he barely knew how to groom himself, and what was this bed!?. He became grumpy and unwilling to let anyone interact with him. The shelter decided to ask the Washingtons if they would be willing to foster him, as they have been pretty successful with animals. They agree, and the next day he was sent off to them.

Madison Breed: American Shorthair Cat Appearance: Small, stocky grey cat, amber eyes Breed Info: American Shorthair’s have broad chests and a muscular neck. They are placid and easy going. While they’re fine with attention, they don’t need it constantly. They can entertain themselves easily. Their coat is thick and dense, so they need some brushing, especially in the colder months when it gets thicker. Background: Madison was born in a kitten mill. He was sickly soon after birth and developed a cough. It’s a wonder he survived. Police shut down the kitten mill when he was six months old and brought as many cats as possible to be evaluated and treated. Madison was there for a few months to regain his strength. It was discovered that his cough could be controlled with medication. It wasn’t contagious but he would always have it for the rest of his life. Not many people want sickly cats,so the shelter asked the Washingtons if they could continuously foster him if the shelter provided the medication. They agreed and took him soon after that.  

[numbrellafive]

Headcanons for losers club meeting in group therapy.

I took this a bit further than I meant to, I hope you like it though because I love addressing mental health(I based it off my own experiences and knowledge so I’m so so sorry if anything is not accurate)

- They all have the same therapist (she’s called Jackie) but they’ve never met each other

- she takes them all for different things

- Bill has depression from loosing his brother (‘n-n-not dead…j-j-just m-m-missing) and anger issues from getting frustrated with his stutter

- Beverly has depression and PTSD from her father and addiction to smoking

- Ben has social anxiety and topophobia from moving so much and getting bullied

- Mike has insomnia and PTSD from his parents death and having to work on the farm

- Richie has ADHD, bipolar disorder and addiction to smoking just from genetics and how his parents treat him

- Stan has chronic OCD and anxiety from his father being a perfectionist

- Eddie has chronic Mysophobia , anxiety and is the worst hypochondriac she’s ever seen

- She has problems with all of them being closed off for some reason

- Bill doesn’t like talking because when he tries to talk about loosing his brother his stutter gets worse, then he gets frustrated and gets overwhelmed

- Beverly just can’t bring herself to talk about it, talking about her dad sets off her PTSD and she gets super defensive about her smoking

- Ben is actually quite intimidated by Jackie, he knows deep down that she wants to help but can’t help but feel like he’s just putting his problems on someone else’s shoulders

- Mike is the easiest one to open up, he needs to know that someone is there and supporting him but at the same time he can’t talk about his parents without tearing up

- Richie talks about everything that isn’t his problems and wastes their hour pretty much every time, although some days he comes in and pours his little heart out

- Stan has told himself if he lets people know about his problems and says them out loud then it’ll make it all worse

- Eddies the only one who’ll willingly talk about what’s happening although he’s insecure about telling her incase she thinks he’s stupid

- so basically, she has a hard time with all of them but she still wants to help them all so bad

- So she proposes to her team leader that she should have an extra session with them once a week where they’re all together

- once she gets the all clear, she tells them about it

- They all agree sounded slightly worried and unwilling, other than Richie who was having a fantastic day and is ready to meet his new fucking friends

- the first session was…interesting to say the least

- Jackie set the chairs in a circle

- the first to arrive was Stan, he always needed to be early no matter what incase he missed something and took the seat next to Jackie

- Eddie was the second to arrive, he took the seat on the other side of her

- As a therapist, this warmed her heart as she knew they did that to feel safer

- She introduced them and got them talking about why bedrooms should be kept tidy, needless to say they become friends right away

- Bill was the third to arrive, he had gotten the wrong room at first and was kinda upset

- he walked in whispering the paragraph that helped his stutter, looking down

- He didn’t look up until he was sitting down at the furthest seat from Jackie in the circle

- She started to introduce them but he honestly wasn’t listening, he was too busy staring at the cute boy with curly hair in front of him

- Stan catches him staring but that doesn’t stop him, he just watches as Stan’s cheeks redden

- next to arrive is Ben and Mike, they weren’t really friends yet but they helped each other find the room

- And finally, Bev and Richie walked in taking as if they had been friends for years (slightly late)

- apparently Richie’s lighter had given up on him so Bev offered hers up, they became friends pretty quickly

- Ben is awestruck by Bev

- They both sat in the remaining two seats left

- As soon as Richie sat down he noticed the small boy next to Jackie and ended up doing the exact thing Bill did with Stan

- Jackie goes around the circle, asking everyone to introduce themselves and their problem and also say how they’re feeling today

- When it comes to Richie, he’s still looking at Eddie

- ‘I’m Richie, I have ADHD and I’m so fucking gay right now’

- Everyone (including Jackie) laughs, they like Richie already

- The session went okay, nothing too interesting happened and they just talked about stuff

- Jackie definitely noticed how they became more open as the hour passed by

- Although Richie spends most the time flirting with Eddie

- Stan leaves last, Bill waits for him by the front door and Stan swears he didn’t tear up a little

- Bill does this and walks Stan home after every session, after the sixth time they start holding hands

- Eddie eventually grows super fond of Richie so one day when said boy walks in and doesn’t talk or even really look up the whole hour, Eddie is pretty worried

- after the session, Jackie asks to talk to Richie privately and Eddie waits by the front of the building even though it’s raining

- Richie comes out after ten minutes, sniffling with red tearful eyes

- 'Oh hey, Eddie spaghetti….isn’t your mom worried you’re not home yet?’

- 'I’m more concerned about you than my mom right now’

- Richie offers to walk Eddie home, giving Eddie his black denim jacket littered with patches somewhere along the way

- Richie also uses this time to explain his ADHD and bipolar disorder to Eddie

- 'Is there any chance I could get my jacket back? I’ll probably stay out for a bit’

- 'Sure…why are you staying out if it’s raining?’

- 'Just, parents and stuff yanno’

- with that, Eddie demands Richie stay over until his mum comes back or the rain stops

- Ben starts writing little notes and poems which he puts on Bev’s seat before every session and are signed anonymously

- Bev thinks it’s Bill at first but she sees Stan and Bill holding hands on the way home so she crosses him off the list

- one day, whilst she’s out smoking to get away from her dad she bumps into Richie

- she decides he’s a good smoking buddy and they become close, sneaking out pretty much every night to smoke together

- Richie saw Ben putting a note on Bev’s seat one day and honestly he just can’t keep it to himself

- 'Why don’t you ask Ben if he’s your secret admirer?’

- 'I might just do that’

- She leaves a note on his seat one day, with her number and the words 'my heart burns there too’

- To say Jackie is pleased with them and her decision to make their group is an understatement

You know what to do (add more) - xo

[bakugou-ou]

Ik I'm anon and all, but I don't wanna get off it because the embarrassment would probably make it worse. I'm just tired of life… mines is pretty useless if you ask me, and according to everyone else who if ever met, I'm ugly too, I wouldn't kill myself because I'm too much of a coward to do that, but I don't know what I wanna do with my life and I can never be happy without someone ruining it That's why you and other creators' story helps me, it makes me think about my dram life I'll never get

Listen, friendo, whoever you are, you’re not ugly, and not useless. You don’t need to come off anon if you don’t want to, I get it. This is gonna get v personal here in a sec, so I’m putting the rest of this down under a cut in case no one gives a shit about my personal life and doesn’t wanna see my tragic anime backstory, but I’m sharing it with you because you said that you like my writing. This is the story of how I ended up running this blog, it’s got lots of talk about suicide, mentions of rape. It’s not pretty, so read at your own risk. Also, it’s long.

When I was four years old, I tried to jump off the balcony of my apartment, I wanted to die. It wasn’t a kid doing a stupid thing, I literally thought if I fall from this height and hit my head on the ground, I will die and then went for it. I fell onto a 7ft tall cinder block mailbox on the way down, four feet below my balcony, crawled off of it, and walked back upstairs to my parents like nothing had happened. 

What was wrong that someone barely past toddlerhood wanted to kill themselves over? I don’t know, maybe it was just that my parents were fighting all the time and hated each other, maybe it was because I have the genes for it. More on that last bit later.

When I was six, I tried to throw myself in front of a car, thinking that if a small child like myself got hit by a car going 25+ mph, I’d die. The driver hit the brakes, I played it off like I’d tripped into the road, no one knew how I really felt. When I’d told my parents I wanted to die, they thought I was being dramatic, they didn’t think a kid my age even knew what that meant, the finality of it. But I knew, and I craved it.

When I was eight, I tried to hang myself in my older sister’s bedroom with her sheets. She found me, took me down before I blacked out, and we never spoke about it again after that night. I was pissed with my sister for saving me, I cried and punched her as she held onto me.

When I was twelve, I tried to eat a bottle of Xanax, thinking it would kill me. It didn’t, it just made me really, really fucking sick. Not sick enough to go to the hospital, but very sick. I had no lasting organ damage, but I still wanted to die.

When I was fourteen, my boyfriend dumped me over the phone on a day he was supposed to come to my house, and ignored me while I cried. He had me on speaker phone, actually, and his friends were laughing about it and I could hear them. I could hear him laughing along with them. So, I decided to eat a bottle of asprin for dinner a couple of weeks later. I was stupid, it didn’t work, and I was hospitalized in the mental ward for 2 weeks.

When I was seventeen, I had just left an abusive relationship, graduated high school, and my mom told me that my ex raping me repeatedly for 9 months was my fault and that I was asking for it by continuing to date him the whole time. I was too scared to leave, I had been told by a counselor at school that no one would believe me. I tried to eat all of my antidepressants. I was hospitalized for 3 weeks in the mental ward.

When I was eighteen, I tried to do that same thing again, in conjunction to another thing my mom said about my abuser. My cousin had been raped while studying abroad, and she was talking about poor cousin, your poor cousin, it’s so traumatic, but when I mentioned that I’d been abused for three quarters of a year and no one batted an eye, she told me I was being selfish, and that my time for being the victim was over. How dare I detract from my cousin. So, again, I tried to eat a bottle of pills. I was hospitalized for one week in the psych ward.

Earlier this year, at the age of twenty, I was hospitalized because I felt like I was going to slit my wrists if I stayed home. So I checked myself into the hospital. I was there for a week while my doctor tried to find better meds for me because clearly mine weren’t working. My mom had told me that she was ashamed of my sexuality and my gender identity, and the rape issue came up again, with her saying I wanted it, that I let it happen.

I have bipolar II, borderline personality disorder, OCD, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and selective eating disorder. A lot is messed up with me. I get the anxiety from my mother, and the bipolar II from my father. The PTSD was a gift from my ex boyfriend, and the rest I just ended up with.

When I was a little kid, I loved books; my father read all sorts of books to me, all the time. Artemis Fowl was the first series we read, then Harry Potter, then my mother read me the Chronicles of Narnia, then my father read me A Series of Unfortunate Events. We also read other books, things that weren’t series. I loved reading, and I wanted to write things that made people feel the way I felt about the stuff I read. 

Both of my parents are naturally talented writers. At the age of six, I began to write fan fiction for Harry Potter. I was way too young to be on the internet, but I was online writing fanfics on snitchseeker. Some of the only validation I found in my life was from random strangers on the internet, encouraging me to continue writing and complimenting my plot lines, even if my grammar and spelling were atrocious; on the internet, no one knows you’re a little kid writing Drarry fanfic.

I was a really athletic kid, so I didn’t spend all my time writing, but a good chunk of my free time was spent writing if I wasn’t surfing, playing soccer, or skateboarding. I didn’t have a lot of friends, I wasn’t likable, apparently, and I had a really hard time in school. I got into a lot of fights because people picked on me, but I was always the one who got in trouble for defending myself. It pissed me off. I developed issues with authority. I wrote in composition books to escape all the crap around me.

By the time I turned 11, writing was my life. I had just moved to California from Hawaii, my life was basically turned upside down, and I was miserable. So, I made a myspace account, wrote fanfic on there, and threw myself headlong into it. I have a fanfiction.net account I’ve long since forgotten my username and password for, but it’s out there with dramione fanfic, sasusaku, things that I liked at the time. I need to escape everything happening around me. My dad, my best friend, wasn’t anywhere near me, my mom was a bitch, and my demented grandmother moved in with us. It was miserable.

By the time I was 15, the only hobby I had outside of practicing for orchestra, was writing. I laid in bed on days off and just sat on my laptop, writing. I stopped publishing things after I got a mean comment once, my first one ever. It bruised the ego I didn’t even have so badly that I refused to publish anything for three years.

When I was 18, I published my first fanfic in 4 years. It was a Criminal Minds fanfic, featuring an OC and Spencer Reid. I was so fucking proud of it, and while lots of people loved it, a lot of people said mean shit. So, I posted Loki fanfic, which got infinitely more love, and then I did an alternate version of my Criminal Minds fic, that one got even more hate than the original. Then I published a Wallander fanfic. I haven’t touched them in 3 years, despite people asking me for more.

Up until this time last month, I never showed my writing to anyone. I kept everything to myself, hidden, I was ashamed of it. It is my only coping mechanism, but I couldn’t share it with anyone. My parents had my computer passwords up until I was about 16, sometimes they’d look through my text files and come to me later and tell me how amazing my writing was, and encourage me to publish it. But I never believed them.

On a whim, I started this blog; I love Boku no Hero Academia, it has given me something to look forward to every week. I live Chapter to Chapter, episode to episode, I track my time with it, it’s a coping mechanism. I saw that there was a decently active fandom on here, and I wanted to be a part of it. I hesitated on making the blog for a few weeks, thinking that no one would want to read my writing.

A month later, there are nearly 600 people here, constantly asking me to write scenarios and headcanons for them, telling me they love my writing, and think I’m a nice person, and that they’re glad I’m here. Every time I get a message like that, I cry. I never thought anyone would ever care about my writing, let alone write it. When I got a single follower that wasn’t a friend I know in real life, I cried. I was so excited. When I got my first request, I was so, so excited. When people began sending more stuff in, when people started talking to me and wanting to be friends, I cried. I’ve made a dozen friends on here as a direct result of their writing, and my writing.

I love running this blog, and I love writing for everyone. I have felt useless and like a waste of space my entire life, I’ve been told that my entire life, I’m made to feel like that every day of my life even now by the people around me, save for my friends, but when I log on here, I’m reminded that hey, maybe I’m not useless. If I manage to make even one person happy with what I do, that’s all I want.

So, you saying that my writing helps you, helps me. All I’ve ever wanted in life is to make other people happy, to please them, and my writing is apparently doing that. I’m really, really lucky to be in this position.

Even if you don’t have something like this, you’re not useless. You should be here. I know you said you’d never kill yourself because you’re too cowardly, but I’ve never seen suicide as cowardly, but that’s probably because I’ve tried to do it so many times. I’ve made a total of 8 attempts in 21 years. I don’t think I’ll be trying it again, though. It’s taken me 21 years to find something that I’m kind of maybe a little good at, that makes me even a tiny bit happy, and that does some good for other people, too.

Shit sucks, life is really awful, and I completely understand the plethora of reasons any given person would feel like wanting to die. I’ve never thought it unreasonable or dramatic to feel that way, it’s just how some people feel. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life until 3 years ago, and even now I’m unsure if it’s really what I want to do with my life. I’ve got a lot going on behind the scenes that makes me feel like shite, and a lot of the time, the people around me try to ruin what little I have that I enjoy and that makes me happy…

Even with all that happening, somehow, I’m still here, and I’m writing this. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I get your feelings, I hear you, they’re valid, and I love you, stranger. Because I feel the same way as you all the time. This blog is my escape from that. It’s really the only thing I have keeping me from my intrusive thoughts.

If you never come off anon, that’s fine, but if you need to talk about things, I’m here for you, or anyone else who needs it. Really, if I can even try to help, I’ll do my damnedest to help. I hate seeing other people feeling as junk as I do on a daily basis, I want to try and make it better. If being a friend, even if I don’t know who you are, helps, I want to help. If writing things helps, I want to do it. But, for me, it’s not just helping other people, it’s helping myself. You coming into the box helped me. So, you’re not useless. You’re keeping me here, too.

[mr-hammerproof-thickskull]

Repost, not reblog! Tag 6 muns you would like to get to know better when done! 

Name: Nope Nickname:  Hearty Age: 22 Faceclaim: It depends on muses, try not to use fc that are in that said fandom characters. Pronouns: They/Them Height: ...5′3 1/2″...Fight me. Birthday: October 29th Aesthetic:  Moon, black and white, books, mangas, weapons, armor, video games, foxes, fruit snacks, stuffed animals, blankets, tennis racket, pills, computers, slippers, toys, pale skin, hazel eyes, blood, the moon, mickey mouse, a heart, stuff like that. Last song you listened to: Lost in Thoughts from the Fire Emblems DLC sung by Matt Mercer, because I like to hear Cor’s voice sing ♥ ...Uh...HUh. *goes to check.* 「LimS™」▸HIT & RUN ! - MEP

Favorite muse(s) you’ve written: Almost I have so many, but at the moment, Cid for canon muses, Cid Sophair. I love him as a character and how he interacts, I love his relationships and he is so much fun to play. But as always, my main and constant ones are my OCs, Angelic-Din-Mortem and Keaton-LiE-Vita, they are my prized treasures and I love my muses so much. They came a long way on tumblr, and Keaton was my very first blog and very soon Angelic, that was around 2013. 

What inspired you to take on your current muse (that you are posting this on): Aw geez where to begin? Well I got into the fandom through Ardyn, I was looking for fcs for my OC Angelic and came to looking through KG. And found the perfect fc on my bby, almost same hair color, messy wild hair style, dark clothes, scruffy and yet impish playfulness, made Ardyn my muse, fricken adored him from then on out, later got into Reggie, have his blog, and made him another fc. I loved playing Ardyn, but after well life went to shit again and got hate and stuff, and just lost interest in Reggie, so many people played them and I needed to get my mind off things and fast and as much as possible, rping helped a lot with that, and while playing FF15 and looking through things, watching people and interactions, Cid showed up. A muse never really used, and yet a old man that I fricken love and reminds me of one of my favorite FF characters FF7 Cid and after a point I was like, FUCK THAT I’LL TAKE THIS OLD MAN ON AS MINE! So I did, saw how little love he got, made it my job to give him as much love as possible, gifs, headcanons, posts, soon icons and pictures and shit. So proud of my old man bby. I love old men, love playing them. So much easier to rp then most characters.

What are your favorite aspects of your current muse: See above in fav character to rp. And to add, he is a underestimated character that didn’t get a lot of screen time and love till King’s Tale, the man a bloody hoot, took the stereotype Cid of FF and made a whole new fulfilling character.  And one that was very much needed in FF15, I don’t think it would even be close to the same without Cid, I think he did a lot of influence, even if it isn’t seen. He is a gruff old man that wouldn’t take shit from anyone, a worthy challenge for the upper class all mighty Ignis and Gladio, and their children Noctis and Prompto. Broke yer car, oh well, go and do what any person does and get the money by workin’ and pay us when yer ready. Need a upgrade on those toys of yers? Okay, but ya need to get these things first. Need a upgrade on that car? Well I can but it will cost ya like the rest. A person that got the royal system and got them as a person but also doesn’t baby feed them. But he will also open up his soft side when needed.

You see this very much in two parts, when Reggie dies and Noctis gets all mad and confused, like wth dad why? You can see how useless his friends could help him, help him get his old man, and you know who did? Cid, Cid was blunt with Noctis, he knew what Reggie was like, he knows the true side of Reggie that Noctis didn’t seem to get often, Noctis didn’t just learn more about his dad and looked up to him more and accepted it in a more healthy way,  you get that Noctis got some peace in that, that his father did honestly love him and was going to show it to death itself. Another part is Cor, when he beats himself up for not doing his job, no one was able to help him there, not that we see, until Cid spoke up. Cid again understood Reggie and Clarus, he got Cor, he and Cor were in similar boats, unable to help those they care for when most needed, alive longer then they both think they should. Cid did his speech, about what friendships, brothers, and family truly about, we see how much it didn’t just affect Noctis, but Prompto and Ignis and Gladio, you get the oh and ah and opps from their expressions and reactions, but I bet similar happened to Cor, I bet you thats was very much for Cor and that Cid wanted Cor to know, and the kids to learn from this, learn from each other, and stuff. Cid was a huge influence I think and an amazing person that took the little things and made them huge, I fricken love that even after everything, he still gives it his all and does so much for those around him.

What’s your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing: I honestly don’t know...When I was a kid I just wanted to, I wanted to write a spin off of this one game I loved, but soon it turned into books for my OC and later book series, later wrote fanfics and over time felled in love. Rping was a thing since I was a whee bean, and kept it with me, rping tumblr one of the few things I can still do most of the time, and keeps my mind more positive and hopeful and kept me away from things I shouldn’t think of. I want to be good at something, something I can be proud of and others be proud of my, and I love rping, love day dreaming, so yeah.

Favorite types of threads: Aw geez, depends on my mood, and Cid’s. We can do all sorts, but with Cid, if I had to choose, either fluff or crack, no one can pull off crack like Cid can, not the way he does it anyway, the man a trouble making imp that loves to stir things up from time to time, very much when younger, he loves pushing buttons. And fluff, mainly because how influential he is to others, and how much of a father figure or brother or more he is to others. Like here is this old mechanic hermit like dude in the middle of no where, and how many and who sees him for comfort or advice or peace, even love? Honestly think he gets the most in game and rp. Well from if you count how many different people that is, King to  shaped up restaurant owner thanks to Cid. Seriously man what you been doing for thirty years?

The biggest struggle in regards to your current muse: Speech style and background hands down. Here’s the thing about his speech, hands down Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama like style, but when you watch the cut scenes, the subtitles, you get the general goin’ and yer and ya and ya’ll like style, but the pain is how uneven and where he uses yer and ya, he doesn’t use those all the time and the general all southern accent. SO BLOODY CONFUSING AS HELL MAN, LIKE MAKE UP YER BLOODY MIND AND IF YOU LUCIS OR FRICKEN REDNECK HOT DAMN! XDDD And another is background, and here is why, besides King’s Tale and what he and Cindy and other say in FF15, pretty much got nothing on Cid and the other gang members and most characters in FF15, and being ocd and perfectionist, I don’t want to screw up his past, and how things happened between him and Reggie and how they met and shit. Also worried they may show those later at some point and if they do, opps. So yeah, I need to know more about my ol bois. I demand it, them and Ardyn...and more screen time for behemoths and cerberus. 

Tagged by: leorugiet

Tagging: Whoever wants too.

[mars-the-witch]

This is legit like the realest shit to me tho?? Like I’ve seen different takes on Steve with ocd before but this is the first time it’s felt so accurate to my personal experience with ocd. So it was just rlly cool to read <3

Guys I can’t stop thinking about Steve with OCD

(The following deals heavily with anxiety and with themes of OCD, so please keep that in mind and skip this one if you’re worried that’ll trigger your own anxiety <3)

At first, it’s manageable. Hardly worth thinking about.

Steve’s always taken pride in his appearance; no shame in wanting to look good. It’s just a part of his routine: picking the right outfit, making sure everything is clean and in good condition, making sure his hair is just right. He even has a set routine specifically for doing his hair – specific products, a specific number of spritzes with the hairspray, a specific look.

And if it’s not just right, he might have to redo it, yeah – it just… feels weird if he gets it wrong. He spends the whole day feeling off. Anxious. Sort of itching under his skin, for reasons he really can’t articulate. It’s just– it has to be right, that’s all

(He hadn’t thought anyone noticed that his morning routine made him perpetually late—and even later when he messed something up and had to redo it—until Robin mentions Mrs. Click’s class the summer after he’s graduated.)

It doesn’t start becoming a hindrance until after his first meeting with the demogorgon.

Before that, it had been okay if his morning routine didn’t go just right. It wasn’t great, and he hadn’t liked it, but he could get on with his day. After that encounter, though – it gets harder.

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