#lisa im sorry that a bitch (me) would ever say anything like that

[kdafuckbrigade]

i'm going to tie myself up in knots thinking about lisa silverman. in KNOTS about it. ouroboros, you'll end up letting go. even if you bite down there's NEVER enough meat and it's not even your fault. you're always gonna have to let go. the only thing you get to choose is how far deep the scars can go, and that's not very comforting

[pyroocatalyst]

kaeya x black!reader - general hcs

requested by: absolutely no one but i know y’all wanted it

a/n: NIGGAS RULE MONDSTADT 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾 this one is kinda short 🙁 apologies

bitch when i tell you nobody can fuck with y’all

i mean NO BUH DAY!!!

if you’re more the serious type, kaeya’s attitude and personality definitely would’ve rubbed off onto you over time

you him and lisa together is so funny

you three meet in the library after hours and just gossip about the town LMFAOO

fairly early in the relationship, maybe a few months in, he’d take you down to diluc’s tavern not only to drink but to meet diluc himself

diluc is sick of him but he’ll put on a front and say “nice to meet you” bc he’s polite <3

you’d see venti there at the bar with what looks to be three wine glasses around him and one in his hand and you like “⁉️ nigga ain’t you like twelve ⁉️⁉️”

you and rosaria aren’t allowed to interact ever because the outcome is always bad

she either helps kaeya corrupt you into recklessness or you’re already like that so you just wreak havoc everywhere you go for bullshit’s sake

walk into dragonspine with no supplies or warm clothing for no reason other than to be a menace

kaeya would like your hair

and subconsciously twist a curl around his index finger while he’s doing paperwork or whatever

BRO

LMFAOOOO

HE LETS YOU DO HIS PONYTAIL

YOU SLICK THAT HOE DOWN!!!!

ITS GIVING INSTAGRAM HAIRSTYLIST

no diss to ig hairstylists y’all are great at what you do 🙏🏾

you two would go adventuring together a lot

any hilichurl that come within twenty feet of you getting murked

imagine getting your ass whooped by some hard water

L 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

do y’all remember that one quest that came up at the beginning of the game with the fake treasure in the ruin that kaeya only told traveler about so a treasure hoarder would take the bait

yeah you’d be traveler LMFAO

he’d be like “bae my grandfather has a highly valuble pirate heirloom hidden in a disguised ruin do you wanna roleplay captain jake and the neverland pirates i’ll be jake”

i have absolutely no recollection of that show but they treasure hunted right

anyway

you’d do it and be like </3 bc AINT SHIT AT THE RUINS

he’s like “im sorry stink stink 💔” and he’d give you a treasure he’d already been holding onto as a gift for u bc he wouldn’t want you to go home empty handed

hm

u have ur own taste in music but you also enjoy what kaeya enjoys

idk kaeya just seems like the kind of person to like the kind of music that you would hear in a rich person’s house as you walk past one of their eleven fountains

makes him feel classy 😋

hold on let me find one

ok im back

quarto de hotel by hareton salvanini or reflections by toshifumi hinata

bam

theres ur references 💯

ok anyway

u two like to just relax to that kind of stuff

after a long day u lay on his chest and just

breathe

the classical instruments quietly play in the background, almost portraying the unspoken appreciation you have for each other through the notes played

u guys have matching rings

not for like engagement or anything like that

just a cute lil accessory u both have

you can consider them promise rings if you like

kaeya toys with it when he misses you and vice versa

just twisting it around

your vision would probably be installed onto it actually

um

yeah im out of ideas im so sorry

[inkyquince]

BRO U LIKE GENSHIN? since we r talking abt paimon i found her rlly cute in the beginning but my main problem with her is her goddamn voice. so high and it gets progressively higher as the game goes on. it was rlly nice and calm in the beginning and now she’s screeching. i also have a massive problem with silent traveller. they tried to do a breath of a wild thing where the main character is silent but the difference is, their main character has options that are apart of the convo. aether and lumine are just there. we get options sure but they don’t do anything. paimon speaks for us and that’s really annoying because what if we have a separate idea from that? they can keep the silent traveller but hoyoverse, don’t make it seem like a one on one convo with paimon and the npc. another massive problem i have is the character designs. idk if you’ve seen yelan’s physics but her boob ones? immaculate compared to lisa. and the heizou leaks? he’s so pretty. if they’re able to do that they should be able to do justice to itto’s body. he’s an oni? not a muscular man like itto should be massive. don’t get me started on diluc’s face. he looks a like a grumpy baby. and albedo’s hair????? it looks so flat ingame and i understand it might not work but im sure they can elevate it a bit more? and we now arrive on the biggest problem of them all, resin and rng. fuck resin. that’s it. either don’t make everything locked behind resin, or make the cap higher. no way is someone supposed to do everything they want with 160 resin when all domains and bosses are 20 and 40. and fix the stupid ass rng???? i don’t want to be doing domain’s multiple times and my resin running out and finishing it with one good artifact. and even after getting one good artifact leveling it up relies on rng. like yeah you get a good substat but now, you have to once again rely on rng for that substat to be upgraded as well. okay this was rlly long but it’s just so annoying and frustrating bc we all know hoyoverse can fix this stuff but they don’t bc capitalism yass

God, Paimon just... Is so goddamn irritating and nearly made me quit the game in the first place. Her voice makes my teeth feel itchy and i have to keep muting her at this point so i dont get a headache.

BUT YES THANK YOU, if silent protagonist, why take away perks of having a silent protagonist by having the world's most annoying little bitch speak for us.

Like im sorry, but if Paimon was like... Bibble, from Barbie, and spoke in squeaks and noises and yet the traveler was the only one to understand her and everyone else was just ??? Like, translating her words for the player and we can chat with her that way, i'd love that way more. Also, it would hit harder if the only words the traveler ever say are to their twin, or something. Like, imagine how much better that would be! Rather than having a diaper demon speak for me and being a little cunt.

Ngl, i don't really look too much into character design, but the genshin women... They do feel designed by a horny incel. Specifically when it comes to boob physics?? Why do they need to have physics??? But the genshin art looks so much better than the models in game? Specifically @ diluc, like he's super hot out of game but the model? Suddenly he's not the hottest dude in mondstadt, he's a grumpy newborn.

Honestly, the resin is one of the many mechanics that just don't really make sense? Like, i can see how they thought it was a good idea, but several in game features don't.. Work.

Also, I have a personal vendetta against the pause screen. Because, say, if you go from the menu and want to go into your inventory to fucking heal up, instead of pressing alt and selecting the inventory backpack, because its easier.

Why.... Would you make time continue in the space between going from the fucking menu... To the inventory? To the Wish screen? TO THE CHARACTER SCREEN? Like, it's... Neat? Idk what they were going for but it just pisses me off at times, because you can't move in that time but enemies can and its enough time to get a fucking swing in. Also some of the enemies are legitimately fun but some aren't levelled correctly at all? It's just irritating.

Edit: paimon is the main character

I'm just basically her oversized Swiss army knife that she sets on people.

Therefore... I want to put her in a washing machine

[samirafms]

[ sahar luna, cis female , she/her ] have you seen SAMIRA  FARAS lately ? yeah, i heard they're 22 years old and a SOCIALITE now in charleston city. i mean, i don’t know if it’s their GEMINI vibes or that they’re -MANIPULATIVE and -SECRETIVE but also +FLEXIBLE and +CUNNING, but they remind me of MONEY by LISA. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble around here. (J, 21, she/her, gmt +3 )

hellooooo everyone it’s j yet again , coming in HOT with a new muse ( correction new mess ) but anways you know the drill so like this or message me on discord @ jules#6729  if you’d like to plot  

I - PINTEREST

you know me and my obsession for pinterest boards so click here to find it 

II - QUICK FACTS

before i start with all the talking here are some quick facts 

dob: june 6th 1999

lives with her mom only , father is unknown ( at least that��s what her mother says ) 

no other siblings aka shes an only child ( of her mother ofc ) 

moved to charleston at the age of 10 so she’s been around for about 12 years now 

nicknames: mira ,sami though she prefers to be called by her name instead of nicknames 

dyes her hair a lot like but prefers being a brunette 

is pansexual

III - BIO

before we get to samira’s birth , we have to go back to where it all starts with the young alia faras , a woman born in charleston with dreams of becoming a world-famous actress , and a drive so big as if there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do in order to achieve it . it was at the age of twenty-four when samira’s mother packed everything and her beloved charleston to achieve the hollywood dream. but things didn’t exactly start off as good as she hoped for , one audition after the other , the rejections kept coming and coming as if there was no end to it . but alia never stopped dreaming , she knew there was someone out there who would be willing to give her a chance and so here he was , a beautiful man by the name of REDACTED , whos promises were so big that she couldn’t say no to an offer like his. not only was he kind , but the missing ring on his finger could only mean that the man was single, and before you knew it , the man who was willing to help her become the star she is destined to be he also suddenly became her other half , her soulmate . this relationship was like no other , he cared about her so much , in a way no other man did before him . 

months go by but the mans promises never come to realization , she never got the roles she wanted , but hey at least they loved each other right , there’s still time for her to shine , she’s still young after all . and before you know it the young woman had not only fallen head over hills for this man , but was also bearing his child  , news that ware supposed to tighten her relationship with this man and maybe seal it forever , her fairy tale world suddenly crashed as the man revealed that he already had a wife and children of his own , and alia and her child had no place around him anymore . and here she was pregnant and alone , about to face a life she wasn’t prepared for . 

the first nine years of samira’s life weren’t too good . her mom was working two jobs so she can pay their bills , she was often left with one of her mom’s friends/neighbors since samira’s mom didn’t exactly have the time or money to be a mom . but it all changed suddenly when on her 10th birthday , when her mom rushed home and packed their bags , claiming they were going to a much better place and so charleston was introduced . suddenly their small apartment was gone  , instead the two lived in a big house filled with everything one could imagine . ever since then samira and her mom have been living a pretty lavish life , with neither of them having to work at all , but the question still remains , where does all their money come from 

SPOILER ALERT 

ok ok so you’ve guessed it probably but basically mommy went all girlboss and threatened samira’s dad for money or else’s she’ll ruin their picture perfect fam . and since the mystery dad is a pretty big deal he started paying an allowance of sorts where he pays them a huge amount of money so they keep everything under wraps  

 IV - PERSONALITY

girlie is very that bitch , shes obsessed with herself 

sis is secretive af like she doesn't share much about her home life even to her closest friends 

shes spoiled rotten by her mother 

get extremely mad when people ask where the money comes from like just dont 

is willing to do anything to achieve her goals 

can easily persuade people to do dumb shit with her 

V - CONNECTIONS

you know me always down for brainstorming but here’s a few quick ideas 

ride or dies ; exes on good / bad terms ; fwb , one-night stands / hook-ups ; enemies ; enemies to friends and vice versa ; childhood friends ; - aka the ones i had on romeo im sorry but my mind = blank 

[randomsevans]

pain of being in love part 8.1

a/n : in the current time line the reader is around 25 / 26 while Chris is around 28/29 so is set around about 2010 , just roughly . although you can picture any time you want , im just trying to sick to thing the best i can . 

 Chris POV 

 11 years ago 

Once Chis got the call he was on his way to you in an instant . How dare some one stand you up ? were there stupid or what ? No matter what Chris was on his way to come and get you and find out the punks name and show him  how much he fucked up . Chris’ heart tighten when he heard you cry over the phone and dropped everything just to make you stop  .

When he picked you up and saw the red rings around your eyes he made it his mission to stop those tears and see that smile that make his chest flutter .So when you sat across the booth from from laughing and smile , his mission was couplet along with him no longer being hunger . But he saw your eyes brows brought to together and your eyes slightly widen with a rush a red onto your cheeks , as you were so clearly stuck in your own head . Chris did not think much about it , but he did not know that moment , that single second , single thought would play such a big part in not only your  future but his too  . Its kind of funny you never know that you are experiencing one of he most important events of your life ,not until after it happens .

10  years ago .

Chris stood at his truck all nervous and giddy , he had a journey of a life time a head of him . Moving to New York was just the begging he hoped , along with all his family . Who were standing on the side ready to send him off .

“ill be back soon ma , you know that . ill never be too far away “ he said as he hunched over his mother giving her a tight hug , while a tear escaped his eye , he has never been ashamed to cry especially when it comes to his mom .

“ i know but my boys all grown up “ Lisa says swaing her and Chris sided to side . as there part Lisa wipes Chris few tears “ oh dont cry son your going to be a big movie star . 

“Ma ! “ Chris chuckled shaking his head “ i highly doubt it “

“pfff what ever Christopher just dream big yeah ?” she said stepping away 

“yeah “ he agreed 

chris turned to his sibling with a big smile , saying his good byes to his sister he finally come to Scott 

“i aint gonna miss ya “Scott tease, once pulling away from there hug 

“oh yeah so whos gonna put up with all your shit “ chris shrugged , narrowing his eyes 

“ahhh duh thats what y/n for  “ 

Chris snapped his head to Scott side where he pointed, at hearing your name . There you stood next to his brother , in a yellow summer dress , flowing in the slight breeze , your hair just past your shoulder , with red checks and glossy eyes . You were breath taking. quite literally , but Chris soon shook  that thought away .

“take care of him would ya “ chris spoke taking a step closer to you 

you nodded your head and jumped into his arms , Chris quickly wrapped his arms around you as he buried his face in your hair while you tightly hugged his waist . All of a sudden the excitement of leaving was gone , with a feeling of longing and not wanting to move from where he was . You delicate  body wrapped up , him holding you tight , he felt like he could both breath and was breath taken all at once , his surrounding forgotten as he heard you tiny hiccups . The moment felt like it lasted for every and was so quick all together  As Scott cleared his voice . The pair of you slowly pulled away , but Chris had the argue to keep you close so he did so by keeping his hand o the small of your back . He glance down and saw your once glossy eyes were now a streaming river 

“ha ! ill tell you what i told ma ...”

“that you’ll be back soon, and your gonna be a movie star “ you giggled to yourself . The sound made chris heart saw but he did his best not to pay much attention to it .

“ i never said that “ chris shook his head , looking through his eyelashes at your glowing beauty , once again he shook that thought away immaturity . 

“ dont forget me when your all big and famous “  you sigh making directed eye contact with him , his breath hitched and his chest tighten at the thought of you thinking he could ever forget you 

“ i could never “ he quickly whispered but was soon replaced with “ no promise , id have get  to there first , “

you wen to playful slap his chest but he caught your wrist , mid air , he held it for a second and rubbed his thumb over your wrist. Until Lisa came  into view 

“ come on son you want to get there before theres to much traffic “

chris slowly let you arm fall to your side , while your finger tips were still slight touching , bring an electricity feeling to chris , but pulled his hand away as the feeling of not wanting to leave crepes back in 

he turned away from you .” yeah your probably right “ chris made his way to the truck  that engine  was already going , he jumped in and shut the door with a loud bang , while the widow was down fully 

“see ya soon “ he shouted 

“ bye . we will miss you “ 

“ i wont “ 

“ bye son “

“ love you “

“ dont come back until your rich and famous “

were just some of the response as Chris ,as he  turned on to the road with a wide small on his face , until he turned to his mirror and saw you standing , waving your hand slightly , his chest tighten once again unable to  breath nor tear his eyes away from you , the pit in his stomach grew as you got further out of view as he made his way to his new life . 

9 1/2 years ago 

The Evns household was full of commotion , as not only was Chris back in town , but it was Scotts and yours  senior prom . All day long Scott was stressing basically over nothing , while having you on the phone despite you coming over later . Lisa had spent the day running around making the day as best it could be for her baby boy.

Chris was shaking his head with a small smile on his face as he bounced down the stairs , hearing his sister arguing  , reminding him of what he leaves behind every time he goes back to New York . But Chris smile was short lived as he reached the bottom steps , walking straight into something . a faint sound of clinking could be heard 

“oh sorry i didnt see where i was going “

that voice made chris’ head snap up . He was met with a breath taking sight , quite literally Chris could not breath . There you stood before him . In a long maroon dress that reached the floor , with your hair in loss curls with the front pulled back . Your eyes shown against the smoky eye shadow. Chris took you in , looking you up and down through his eyelashes , only to land on yor lips , which where lump and glising under the hallway light  . 

“its nice to see you “ you sweet voice now broke him out of his trance as a smile played on your lips . Chris shook his head , trying to make sense of his mind .

“ummm ...you to... you loo..”

“aww there you are “ Scott voice boomed as he made his way towards the pair of  you , with Lisa following , camera   in hand .

“im here “ you said ding a little twirl as you held your dress up  a little 

“and dont you just look beautiful” lisa smiled towards you making you blush ,causing chris heart beat to excel  , he shoved his hands in his back pocket trying to avoid your gaze as he frighten he might just have a heart a attack  . 

“  i tell you what Jack is one lucky boy “ Scott teased making Chris shoot a look at you 

“oh shut up “ you playful pushed Scotts chest 

“what ! i though you were going with Scott you have a date ?” Chris was trying his best to hold of his anger as he spoken through gritted teeth , his fist forming in his back pocket 

“whats happening ? why am i anger ? im just protective over her thats all  “ Chris told him self 

you looked at him with wide eyes 

“umm uhh yeah i was but ...”your nevous clearly shown in your voice 

“until some hansom bitch came and cornered her in the hall yesterday and asked her out “ Scott finished for you clearly exited and not at all hurt that he does not have a date any more . 

“scott language “ Lisa scolded him , making  scott roll his eyes .

“and you said yes “ chris bitterly asked 

you just nodded you head as you and chris looked at each other not daring to break  eye contact .that feeling came back the one on the day he first left , not wanting to leave but now it was not wanting for you to leave and go and a date with some stupid boy that is mostly only trying to play you .

“okay picture  time !”

7 years ago 

(chris bring his first gf jessica belle home from hollywood )

Chris walked into his house with a hugh smile in his face , his nervous where at an all time high , but was under control thanks to the brunnett keep tightly in his arms 

“its going to be okay chris “ Jessica laughted 

“ i know , i know , there will love you , if anything i should be the one telling you everythings gonna be okay “ chris nervously chuckled making his way through the living room , walking past the christmas tree and all its decroations 

Chris was nervous , Jessica was the first girl he brought home to meet his family , that did not allready know her . Since his town is small everyone already knew eachother , therefore his girlfriends already knew his mom and family . Jessica saw and meet a diffent side to him . The one where he was now in movie 

*************

The day went smoothly everyone loved her and chris was happy . Sitting on the couch with his family and girlfriend ,chatting away until the door bell rang .

Scott jumped out of his seat and did a little ran . Chris head followed his movement till he got to the door and then turned back around to Jessica .

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Scott sang for the 100th time that day . Everyone in the room chuckled and turned to look at the next victim of Scott's singing

"AND MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU " a highter pitched voice mocking yet beautiful sang right back at Scott

That's when lisa now jumped out of her seat

"Oh dear merry Christmas. Come in come in " chris heared the front door closer and everyone got up to great the new guest . Chris was busy pulling Jessica up that he didnt realise almost everyone was seat back down

"Merry chr-" chris breath hitched as you stood in front of him in a lose fitting red dress with your hair loose half up and half down . While holding a tinned box in your hands

'What is it with not breathing when your in dresses "

Chris was lose in his thoughts until a tug at his left made him turned his head to look at jessica who nodded her head towards you .

"Oh right.... yeah "chris pulled Jessica by the waist closer to him . "Umm this Jessica my ... my girlfriend and jess this is .. y/n ..." chris nervously shuffled on his feet . His eyed wondering every where . The floor ceiling but there keeped finding there way to you looking you up and down

"Y/n ?" Jessica asked

"Oh I'm Scott's friend " you quickly answered for some reason .

"Ohhh that must be why I havnt heard about you "Jessica concluded . Causing you to scrunch up your face as chris heart dropped .

"...i..."

"Oh y/n plzzzzzzzzzz tell me there your cookies " scott come and stood inbetween the three and snatched the box out of y/n and ran off to the kitchen

Y/n stood there stunned for amont . Staring at her noe empty hands . Until her fist former and fell to her side slight stomping her foot as she turned and began to walk at a rate now man will escape

"Evan's "you began quickly

"Ummm" was all could be heard

"Give ... me ...back ... the COOKIES !"

Part 8 .2 will becoming soon

[child-of-of-the-sunshine]

CHAPTER 2

"We do all realize that I can take any of you," I said

"That sounds like challenge," Clay said

"Okay," I said

"Oh this will be good," Sonny said

Me and Clay started to work out together and kept challenging eachother to our limits for at least 2 hours until we're both done

"Fuck," I said grabbing my water

"Same time tomorrow," Clay said

"So on," I said

"This is the most interesting thing ever," Trent said

"Clay race you to the cages," I said

I started running to the cages with Clay on my tail we got back to the cages and changed

"I won," I said

"Uh uh," Clay said

"Shut up," I said

"Yeah," Clay said

3 mouths later

"You exited for your first deployment," Clay said

"Yes," I said

"This is going to be fun," Sonny said

Clay's girl.walked over and gave me a look that I was not having

"May I help you," I said

"No just back off," She said

"Its kinda hard to that when I am supposed to have six 24/7 so no I will not," I said

"Can't you go to different team," she said

"Nope can't they won't let me they love me too much and I'm one of that can handle Clay by myself so," I said

She throw a punch and punched back

"Never hit a texen unless you want some broken bones," I said

She tried to punch me back I grabbed her hand and twisted it

"I will brake it and you will have to have surgery for it," I said

"Addison Ember Quinn," Jason yelled

"Aw looks like your in trouble," she said

"I won't hesitate to throw you against a wall," I said

I walked over to Ray and Jason

"Addi," Jason said

"What," I said

"Your starting to get bruise," Ray said

"Addison," Clay said

"Yes princess," I said

"What the hell happened," he asked

Noticing the bruise on my jaw

"I'll see you all tomorrow," I said before leaving and walking to my truck and crying the whole back to mine and Sonny apartment, once I got back I realized I left my phone and to head back, so I went back Clay was sitting in his car, I walked outback and grabbed my phone

"And she's back," Lisa said

"I forgot my phone," I zaid

"Addi hangout with us before the last of deployment," Jason said

"Fine," I said

I grabbed a beer from the cooler and opened it

"Is now a good time to say this is my first beer," I said

"Addison," Ray zaid

"In a while," I said

"Good," Jason said

"Addi do want me to at that," Trent asked

"Maybe," I said

Trent came over and looked at it

"Needs ice," Trent said

Niman went and got me some ice

"Thanks," I said

"Addison," Clay said

I didn't respond to him

"Slient treatment," Sonny said

"Addison," Clay said

"What," I said

"What happened to your face," he asked

"Your Girlfriend punched me after she said to stay away from or I should leave the team and I said no because I'm not ruining my career over what she wants so Clay if she's going to be a bitch then I'm sorry Clay we can't be friends off base," I said

"Addison what," Sonny said

"Im sorry bit if she's going to do and not want to get hurt or for me to get distracted because I don't want to over step people could get killed and I'm not going to be the reason so this might be my last deployment I talked to Blackburn," I said

"Addison," Clay zaid

"Sorry," I said

Clay hugged me

"Addison please don't leave the team," he whispered

"Clay," his girlfriend yelled

"Amber I'm sorry but we're done I'm not losing my best friend and team mate because of you because I trust and everyone else to have my six if she leaves I don't think would trust the next brovo seven," Clay said

"Fine," she said throwing his key at him

"And this is yours," Clay said giving me his spare apartment key she just throw at him

"Thanks," I said putting it on my keys

"Yep anything for you," Clay said

We finished the night with me driving Sonny and me back to the apartment Sonny finshing the jack in the kitchen and headed to bed, the next morning I woke up and grabbed my bag after changing to head to base with Sonny once we got there we parked and got of my truck

"Wish this was a Gucci deployment," Sonny said

"Why so you can be a princess," I said

"Yes," Sonny said

"God," I said

"Addison keep the boys in line," Emma yelled

"Got it Emma," I yelled

"Keep a close eye on them," Niman said

"Always do," I said

"When did she stuck babysitting," Lisa said

"I don't know," I said

"Is mini Quinn ready for her first deployment," Lisa asked

'Yeah," I said

"Three months with my best friend," I said

"Wait were best friends," Clay zaid

"Yes," I said

Clay picked me up.and ran on to the plane with me

"Clay," I yelled

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Youth with You” with Me!

Episode 1 Part 1

- Lisa is so cute when meeting Kun and Ella!!  What dorks to hide from her hahaha

- Jony J is cooler than I will ever be and all he’s wearing is a plaid puffy jacket

- I love that Kun and Ella were so like “hehehee we’ll trick and surprise them” and then Lisa just jokes back with them that she knows what an icon

- Jony J, sir, please...Kun and Ella are so sick of him im weak

- Lisa, sweetie, never change !

- the door crying as the Shining Twins walk past lmaooo (the trainees from AKB48 Team SH, Kuliko “Chestnut” Shen and Anne Hu)

- the mentors remind them of the teletubbies im screaming

- Ella stop being so mean!!! they’re so afraid omg

- ooh new team! Independent trainee nevermind just like Kun!

- Oh she’s cool.  Jue Chen has such a style I’m actually weak like I think she’s too nervous to expand on any thoughts i’m dead I love her

- HuaCe Movie Esther Yu I’m so sorry sweetie

- Pastel Gang, aka TPG’s group All the Same Height, are so adorable

- oh Anne sweetie again I’m so sorry

- Esther is such a mood incredible she’s deadass asking to take his seat what an incredible person

- Jony J kills me with his responses

- SNH48 and AKB48 are in such similar costumes but they are more

- now they’re going through a montage of the many different groups

- Tov Ent K Lu and the rest of the three-person group I think might be some of my favorites as we continue.  Them, the Shining Twins, and Esther.

- Wow her dance from the Opera is incredible i deffo need to find it online eventually

- look i know i’ve probably reblogged this already but when Kun steps in to actually make sure that Lisa is able to understand and talk with the rest of the members??  I want a group of friends with that kind of worry and respect for each other

- I do not want to get on the wrong side of Joey Chua ever bc she could definitely kill me with little to no effort

- aish they all look so cool!  (another montage of like several groups)

- Mr. Fruit is a product placement I know and I’ve only known him since the beginning of the episode but if anything happens to him I would cry

- I’m the girl who threw up her arms as a heart to Lisa’s intro thanks

- Kun is such a dork im love him

- their food looks so good ugh I want some roast goose too

- i’m gonna assume the super fancy pink x chair is gonna be for either the leader of the nine-person group at the end of the series or for the person who does the best

- their dorms look better than mine and they’re only staying there for a maximum of four months i hate it like i love it but im jealous of how nice they look

- Their ads are certainly interesting

- oooh yay the mentors are gonna be performing yay!!!!! Let’s go Lisa let’s go!!

- not to sound gay right now even though it will and i am a queer this is very cool and she’s so pretty and the dance is very fun to watch

- Heck yeah Mr. Jony J !  the guitar is nice i like the beat

- the song is so personal to him and yet he makes it with his tone feel like it’s personal for us too and the way the trainees reacted is a good example of what i’m trying to say

- YES IT’S ELLA’S TIME I CAN’T WAIT I LOVE EHR

- bitch im gonna cry this song is like as one fo the trainees said a story wowowowow

- i’m adding her song to my asian pop playlist on spotify if i can

- I’m all of the trainees trying to hold back tears by looking at the ceiling

- ksksksks the leg kick i literally am so weak

- I feel like Kun and Heechul would get along oddly well if they ever meet

- Kun and I are also like the same age and so like,..,sir,,,no one is going to call you daddy.  you are literally a year older please calm down

- OOoh TOV vs Lionheart we all know I want TOV to win tho :/

- K Lu obvi doesn’t believe Kelly but it’s cool it’s fine it’s whatever

- their choreo is so fun!  i love the foot taps with Marco Lin and K Lu!

- K Lu reminds me of Kai when dancing and the outfits help a lot lmao

- I like that the mentors are giving advice right after they’re finished that’s very nice for them

- I might just be dumb but is Marco the only guy?  of all of the trainees?

- Kelly’s voice is very good i do like it

- i don’t think that she practiced singing and dancing at the same time however.  she sounds out of breath

- “she designed [the microphone hold]” i’ve seen heechul do the same thing but also she was probably a youth-y youth and Ella laughing about the hip-hop of it killed me

- i think i’ll watch Kun & ZZT’s season of idol producer after this season is done for several reasons but mainly I just deeply miss Yixing and his instagram Calvin ads aren’t enough content I’m afraid :(   xp

- and that’s all for part 1!!!

[bobowhooo]

Potent Savages

Genre : Drama?/ Angst/ Thriller/ Fluff??/ Trigger warningssss/ SMUT haha ima really do it this time enjoy/ Exo, oc, and blackpink gang au!

Summary : Not everyone is cut out for this kind of fast paced lifestyle, but for these young, rich, savages, it’s second nature.

Chapter 12 : More savage

                                               Grrr bitch.

My body won’t stop moving on it’s own. Im so fucking filled with rage right now. All i can see is red. A faint silhouette of choi siwon keeping my gloved hands in action. I could still hear his voice perfectly. I wish i could accept that he’s dead now, but for some reason it feels like he is still living. Hiding somewhere deep down inside of me. 

I snapped out of my thoughts when a cry of pain entered my ears.

“Fuck aya.” Rose grabbed my shoulders, pulling me back from lisa who had fallen to the ground.

“Shit! im sorry! im so sorry.” i fell to the floor of the gym to get a look at where i accidentally clocked the girl. 

“It’s okay, im fine. But what the hell were you thinking about? i could tell your mind ran off somewhere.” She said while hissing in pain and taking off the punching pads that i had been aiming for earlier. 

“I don’t know, i just.....ugh, i don’t know.” 

“You have to know what made you go out of it.” jennie spoke up from the other side of the home gym. Her body slowing down as she turned down the speed of the treadmill. 

“I.....”

“You?” Jennie spoke more aggressively. 

“I can’t get siwon out of my head and-”

“Knock knock.” Kai peaked into the room through the door with a smile. 

Seconds later, the door was pushed roughly open and baekhyun stepped in before anyone else while chanyeol was right behind him. As always. 

I bit my lip at baekhyun when his eyes met mine. Completely forgetting the conversation that was interrupted by them. He smiled at me with his eyes turning up into little crescents. His body adorned in a black nike compression shirt and black shorts. His own gloves hanging in one hand and a drink gripped in the other. I could see his chain peeking out of his shirt even though he pushed it under the material. 

“My eyes are up here.” I looked up at him as he held out one hand for me.

“I know where your eyes are located baekhyun.” 

I was brought to my feet with a pull of my mans arm. He smirked when i bumped into him. 

“Well aren’t you shameless.”

“You are too.”

He grabbed my elbow and twirled me around so my back is to him, my legging clad left ass cheek filled his harsh grip and i hissed. 

“You’re right. There’s no shame in my game.”

“Fuck sake, get a room!” Chanyeol yelled at us from his seat on the bench next to all the weights.

Baekhyun slowly loosened his possessive grip on me and stepped back. I know that a month ago he would have probably done something much more. But after everything that had happened he’s been afraid of hurting me, or triggering me. He’s so careful and much more gentle. Well as gentle as a guy like baekhyun can try to be. But, i don’t need him to be gentle with me, or treat me like a fragile little piece of fine china. 

Not that i completely hate it. I think it’s sweet. But when has anything between us ever been just sweet. 

“ You know, i can tell you’re holding back.”

“You know me so well.” He spoke without looking at me while putting his gloves on. 

“Daddy.”

His eyes widened and he smiled in surprise. “Stop it aya.”

“Look at me.”

He ignored me and messed around with his gloves more, still grinning.

My hand grabbed his chin, forcing him to look my way. “Where’s your balls daddy?”

“In my pants.”

“Are you sure? They might be missing.”

“Stop.”

“Hmmm.....” my hand slowly moved down his chest and straight to his nuts. He jumped and grabbed my hand, laughing loudly at my bold moves.

“Stop! Damn, you know im trying to restrain myself.”

“You never told me that shit. But, yeah, i noticed.”

“You’re fucking crazy.”

“Stop acting like a bitch baekhyun, im a grown woman with a body count of over one hundred. If i need to be babied i would tell you, now wouldn’t i?”

“You’re right again love, damn you’re on a roll today.”

A pout sat on my face as i watched him brush me off and be stubborn with his stupid decision. I get it, I know that after what happened he doesn’t want to make any hasty moves, but damn how am i supposed to enjoy being back if he’s acting like this.

He kissed my pout and walked off to do what he came here for. We might be both stubborn and firm on our decisions, but i always get what i want. 

Always.

My feet followed him to the weights. I could see him in the mirror smiling at the way i was acting. Something like a needy pet, or a bratty kid that wants a thing it can’t have. It’s usually the other way around with us. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Is this what love does to a person like me?

The pout residing on my face grew more prominent as he continued to ignore the fact that i was staring at him in need. In need of him to be the reckless, stupid, crazy baekhyun i love. 

“Babe.”

“Aye, chanyeol, im gonna need you to spot me.”

“Baekhyunnnnn.”

“Yes baby?”

“Cut it ooouuut.”

His face filled with an expression i have never seen before, to be honest. But im going to guess it’s the look you give when you see something cute. I have never been seen as cute before. So i don’t know for sure what the fuck he’s making that face for. 

You could say the way im acting right now is really unusual. I wish i could stop it. But a random emotion has taken over my body. I looked up into the mirror and looked at myself up and down. My stance is vulnerable, and relaxed. My face scrunched up with a huge pout and narrowed eyebrows. My arms folded but somehow so open at the same time. 

I look like a damn fool.

All the eyes in the room stared at me in surprise. My actions being so out of pocket.

Baekhyun dropped his 45 pound weights, quickly grabbing me and sitting me on his lap. The happiness he’s radiating set off a certain butterfly feeling in my stomach. His face scrunched up when he dug it into my neck and shook his head. An actual giggle left my lips as i tried to get away from the thrill of the tickling sensation i was getting from the amazing man. 

“Baekhyunnn, you’re not listening to me.”

“I am baby, i hear you. You want me to pick you up and slam you to the wall like i used to.”

“Yes.”

“And you want me to choke this pretty neck of yours.”

“Yes.”

“And you want me to act recklessly with you, like before.”

“Yes.”

“Too bad.”

“Eh?”

“There’s going to be none of that baby. Well not this early at least.”

“What? Baekhyun.”

“No baby, none of it. I am going to treat you like the princess you are, and i am going to protect you with carefulness and caution.”

“But-”

“No buts, im not gonna let what happened to you happen again, you hear me? So suck it up and stop pouting.” He was looking me in the eyes with a stern expression that shook my core up, His index finger and thumb holding my chin gently. I leaned in, throwing myself into whatever this feeling is. My lips touching his in such a soft manner, as my body twisted for easier access to him. I could feel him tighten up a bit when i swung my arms around his broad shoulders. My lips digging into his passionately, Baekhyun grabbed onto my hips, making sure to keep me from moving too much, while i defiantly clutched onto his shoulders and grinded on him slowly. Our mouths dancing roughly with each other. His grip became deathly, his other hand let go of me and slowly moved it my torso. His fingers tickled my collar bone and traveled around my neck. 

Yes baekhyun. Do it.

The man pulled away quickly and removed his hands from my body. My head is still spinning while looking at baekhyun’s face screw into one of frustration.

“C-could you get up for me baby. Daddy needs a minute.” He said with his eyes shut tight and his hands clenched into fists.

“Yes daddy.”

Baekhyun sucked in air and shook his head. His body lifting and stopping for a moment to turn and shake his finger at me, then turn back and continue walking out. 

The door shut harshly and silence filled the room. Chanyeol chuckled for second before looking at me with wide eyes. 

“He’s gonna go masturbate in the bathroom. You know that right?”

“What?” I said not really processing what he said.

“Damn, he’s so firm on his decision, he would rather fuck his hand instead of you.” Chanyeol’s head shook in slow motions with a small grin on his face.

Am i missing something here. Does baekhyun really think that all this is necessary. My eyes squinted and i sucked my teeth, taking in a deep breath.

“That’s a no no.”

“This shit isn’t easy.” I said to chanyeol as i fix the chains hanging around my neck in the mirror of my bedroom.

“Just quit it. She doesn’t want you to hold back around her.” Chanyeol spoke back to me whilst touching up his hair.

“I know that, you don’t think i know that? But at this point it’s about what we both need. And me being my old reckless, horny, fuckboy self, is the very last thing we need.”

“Whatever you say boss.”

“Thank you. She’ll get used to it.” I threw on a jacket and made my way to the door, making sure to tap chanyeol as a sign, it’s time to go. 

“Well damn baekhyun, you’re starting to sound like an over protective dad.”

“Correction, daddy.”

“Dude, come on, Cut her some slack. She just wants things to be the way they used to.”

It’s not that im not considering how she feels. But im just scared. I don’t want anything to happen to her. I just want her to feel safe and protected around me. But maybe i am being too much right now. I should let myself relax. I don’t want to suffocate her. That will just make shit worse. Knowing aya, i can’t keep treating her like this. Too much of something she doesn’t like and someone will get hurt. 

“Ugh, fine. I’ll lighten up.” I said with an exhausted tone and closed eyes.

“There you go.” Chanyeol landed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “We all learned our lessons. It’s in the past now. Live a little.” The guy spoke the truth. 

I think i will.

Me and chanyeol entered the living area of the exo mansion in a rush. Suho and jisoo were sitting on the couch cuddled up together as if no one else was around. I sighed at the gross couple. I guess this is how it is seeing me and aya together, but much more pg. 

“Hi boys.” Jennie’s voice called out to us. I turned to the stairs where she was and found the rest of the girls not far behind her. They’ve been living here since the whole, well since shit hit the fan. Me and suho decided it was a safer idea to have them here. They are currently occupying the spare rooms we didn’t know what to do with. Im happy they are here with us though. I feel less worried knowing they’re in the same household.

I eyed aya up and down and she avoided my gaze. She’s obviously not happy with my behavior lately. That thought made me a bit upset. How can i be just the right amount or careful and reckless for my little queen. I want to be myself with her and be the man she loves. But i also want to be the man she needs. Someone who can match her strength and her pace. Im going to have to try my best to figure it out. But for right now, think my baby needs to be wooed.

I know just the thing to help with that,

She walked towards me with her head tilted slightly to the side and her face void of emotions. Her thighs were covered in black fishnet, and red thigh high, heeled boots. I licked my lips, completely taken by her outfit. Her looking like this tonight can’t be a coincidence. 

“My eyes are up here baekhyun.”

“I know where your eyes are located honey.”

Aya’s lips turned up into a smirk i missed more than i thought i did. I took her up in my arms swiftly, The distance between us was too much. My fingers dug into her soft thighs and she bit her soft bottom lip.

“Have you ever rode a motorcycle baby?”

“No, never. But i have a feeling that’s going to change?” She said while her eyes squinted cutely at me. 

“Let me take your motorcycle virginity babydoll.”

“It would be an honor baekhyun.”

“AAAHHH!” I strained my lungs as i screamed into the cool night. Wind whipping the helmet covering the hair i spent a good hour on. My fingers dug more into the jacket adorning the rest of the outfit baekhyun had picked out tonight. A smile is plastered on my face and i can’t get rid of it for some reason. I watched baekhyun’s hands tighten onto the handle bars when a small laugh came out of his mouth.

“Want me to go faster!?” He yelled back at me, leaning slightly forward more as he waited for an answer.

“Is that even a qu-AHHH!”

The sound of the motorcycle got even louder as he went faster without a definite yes. Excitement, thrill, joy, overflowing love for this amazing man. That’s what im feeling. After a whole month of misery and mental abuse. This is exactly what i needed. This is exactly what i wanted. I made it out half dead. But i finally feel alive again. 

I finally feel like me now.

“I LOVE YOU, BYUN BAEKHYUN!”

“I DEFINITELY LOVE YOU MORE, PARK BONG CHA!”

I felt my cheeks get hot at the way he called out my birth name. 

“Don’t say my name out loud like thaaat!”

“Sorry, sorry.”

I saw the club up ahead through my helmet. The lights adorned the dark atmosphere of the night, It’s large upscale look giving off a, you can’t sit with us, type of vibe. A sort of electronic, r and b, song loudly played so that it could be heard from afar. The wind carrying the sound perfectly. Huge neon purple letters spelled out the name of the club obnoxiously. OASIS. That’s where exo and blackpink will be throwing my welcome home party. Of course we’re the only ones that know i even left in the first place. But still. I denied this being a thing the moment they mentioned it to me. But they went and set it up anyways. Why? Because they’re a bunch of assholes. Assholes that i love more than i love myself. Which means a lot. 

Our bodies leaned to left as we swiftly entered the parking lot of the club. Baekhyun being the first to lift his right leg up and step off the ride. I did the same as he held my hand in his. 

“Im glad you enjoyed babydoll. We will definitely do it more often. I might even teach you how to ride one yourself.” He said, slowly letting my hand free itself from his.

“Might?” I pulled the helmet off carefully so i won’t mess up my hair anymore than i already have. Baekhyun nodded with pursed lips in response to my question. He pointed lazily at where to put my helmet before taking his own off. Baekhyun’s beautiful fingers curled around the head piece tightly. His arms made the sleeves of his jacket look so much tighter as he flexed pulling the object off almost teasingly. The head of the man popped out and flew back, shaking away the hair that had invaded his eyes. The helmet was placed to his side and he ran a hand through his kind of messy hair, making it more handsome, and much more on purpose. My heart beat is erratic as i watch his every move intensely. My lips going completely dry. What has he done to me. My eye caught a small smirk from his lips he tried to contain and hide from me. 

What an asshole.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” I said in a daze.

“Tempting you darling.” His answer somehow burning in my ears.

“You and i both know i don’t need to be tempted.”

His lips were moistened with a quick swipe of his pink tongue smoothly instead of giving a real response to my words. 

“Let’s go.” he said.

“Why? Afraid you might end up fucking me in the parking lot in front of all these people?” My teeth caught my bottom lip after the words left my mouth as the image flashed in my head.

No Answer. 

His eyes reacted first, closing tightly to fight the feeling creeping somewhere inside him. This is getting harder to watch. I guess he really wants to continue with his decision. I don’t know if i even want to keep pushing him like this. It’s really no fun. And if he’s so serious about this. Maybe i should be too. Even though i don’t understand it.

My arm reached out to be taken by his instinctively, and he took a hold of it gently.

“I’ll be good.” I said quietly. I don’t know if i really want him to hear that.

His head tilted to get a better look at my face that is hanging low. My pout sitting loudly and refusing to leave. Baekhyun hummed in agreement as if he’s saying “Okay we will see.” Which i don’t know if what i said is going to actually happen but i’ll give it the good old bong cha try.

He pulled me forward to follow him and i did so submissively. As soon as our feet walked through the entrance it was like a whole new world. The lights lit up the luxurious night club with a beautiful shade of purple. There are long white box like couches laid out where the dance floor is and private rooms tucked away to the sides of that. Spiral extravagant staircases led to the higher level of the place while even bigger staircases led to vip hang out spots. A huge black dj booth with a long stripe running along the sides and on the top of it was placed in the middle of everything, being something like the main attraction. Which makes sense. Behind there must be some sort of kitchen, where all the drinks and food are coming from. The smell here is a mixture of expensive cigars and weed with a hint of luxury cologne and perfume. I guess not a lot of people have sex in this club. Because sex is a reoccurring smell in a lot of clubs i go to. 

Fancy pantsy. Im impressed. I usually go to the more rough clubs because it’s much more fun and laid back. But this place seems pretty fun also. Definitely not laid back though.

“They out did themselves.” I said under my breath. Baekhyun was smiling as he looked around for the rest of the squad and held my hand. In reaction i did the same. My eyes took in the different faces. Some of them are exo rookies and some of them are just random people i don’t know. They all look hella expensive though. Not as expensive as me. But expensive nonetheless. I was pulled by my boyfriend to go up the larger stairs and to the vip hang out area. That’s where everyone else was sitting and drinking. Looking like complete buttholes. As always. But i have to admit i am starting to feel and come to understand the reason why they always separate themselves from everyone else. I do what i want though. so im probably going to end up back down the stairs with all the rookies again at some point. 

“Aya!” Jennie yelled from chanyeol’s lap as soon as we got to the top of the stair case. My head tilted to the side so hard i thought i cracked something. What the hell is she doing on his lap. I hope that’s nothing serious. My hand loosened on baekhyun’s and i tried to run for her but he didn’t let go. My body jerked back on his firm grip and i looked at his hand impatiently. He held out his cheek and tightened his death grip without even blinking an eye. 

“You have got to be kidding me, baekhyun.”

“Does it look like im kidding, aya?” 

“You know, for a drug dealing killer, you’re pretty soft.”

“Only for you lovely. Though you are the only one that can make me hard these days. Anyways, hurry.”

My lips pecked his soft marshmallow like cheek in a rush, my hand slipping out of his swiftly. I jumped into jennie’s arms with force. I can’t stop hugging my girls after leaving them for so long. I just can’t. Im sure it’s become a habit. 

“Im not letting you leave us and ride that stupid motorcycle with baekhyun. I missed you too much.” Jennie said in a jokingly sad tone.

“Aww shut up.” I playfully hit her arm in response to the small pain i felt from her cute whining.

Her smile widened as she chuckled a bit. “Alright, alright. I was kidding. Kind of.”

“I hope you guys know i don’t pick him over you. It’s equal.” I said in all seriousness.

“We do.” Rose said as she walked to me, lisa and jisoo not far behind. “But i think we should have a girls night. Just for us to spend some time together again. Despite how much we love the guys, we miss it just being us a lot.” 

Lisa nodded in agreement quickly and jisoo hummed. I know for jisoo that’s a definite yes, she’s obviously thinking the same way. I had no idea this was in their heads. But i guess that’s proof enough. I used to know exactly what their thinking at all times. But not anymore. I kind of hate myself for letting it get this way.

“It’s settled then. We’ll have a girls day. A day for us to reconnect and be the bad bitches we are. Just us. I promise.” I said with a proud smile as i looked them in the eyes one by one.

“Yayyyy!” The girls in front of me squealed excitedly at my answer and jumped towards me for a surprise group hug. My laugh got louder as i felt ticklish all around. I feel terrible for ever making them feel neglected by me.

“So what were you doing on chanyeol’s lap?” I asked curiously as we pulled out of the hug somewhat slowly. 

“Oh, that? I was just playing around with him. We tease each other here and there, it’s nothing really.”

“What? I thought you said you guy-” Lisa spoke before she got slapped in the back of the head. 

I tilted an eyebrow in suspicion at the scene. What was that about?

“They fucked.” Jisoo said nonchalantly. 

“Jisoo!” Jennie said in surprise as she stomped her foot.

Lisa and rose busted into laughter as jennie’s face lit up like a stop light. 

“What the fuck.” I said with wide eyes. I never thought she would have sex with him out of everyone. Im very surprised.

“Whaaaat!? It just happenedddd.” She whined to stop the shame from coming her way.

“Damn sis.” I spoke as my palm lifted to my face, ready to face palm myself in shame. Jennie rolled her eyes with a small smile as the other girls continued to laugh at her embarrassment.

“Whatever. What about you and baekhyun? He isn’t acting the same with you.” Jennie said with slight concern in her tone.

“You mean they aren’t being as gross as they were before.Yeah, what a blessing to us all.” Jisoo said with a scrunched up face. She’s probably thinking about that time we almost fucked on the table she was eating breakfast at. 

That was a wild morning. I smiled at the memories that came back from it and jisoo did the opposite as she thought of the same thing.

“Nah, i realized how he’s treating you. Do you know why he’s acting like that?” Jennie said with a hit to my chest.

“Yeah, i know why. He’s just being careful with me after everything. He thinks he knows what’s best for me. As if he’s my dad or some shit.”

“He kinda is.” Lisa said trying to hold back a chuckle after letting her comment slip. 

Im not impressed.

Jisoo hit her on the arm and shook her head. “Don’t make me cringe.” 

“Too late.” rose said. 

“Well shit, did you guys talk about it?” Jennie asked while messing with her hair.

“To be completely honest , no we haven’t. For some reason it feels like we shouldn’t.”

“Yes, you really should.” Jisoo spoke while folding her arms. 

They’re right. As always. How could they not be. If anything we should talk about everything that happened. How it affected us. And how it has changed us moving forward. I don’t know why i didn’t even try and do that in the first place. I guess i’ll have to find a good time to. Not tonight though. Because im planning on getting fucked up in every meaning of the saying. I think a conversation like that should wait for a sober me. Im not her tonight.

“Okay, i will.”

My throat felt strained when i screamed the lyrics of this song i haven’t heard in so long. Body moving on it’s own, and the alcohol in my system being the fuel to it. Im having a great time.

The dance floor is filled with rookies and other young party goers. Me, existing basically right in the middle with lisa, and rose, dancing like there’s no tomorrow. Our hips are somewhat connected as we moved to the tempo. I downed the rest of my drink and looked to my left at this guy placing pills in a random girls hand. I think he’s a rookie. 

Before i could even think about what im doing, my feet walk in their direction. 

My eyes focused on whatever it is in their hands. 

You said you want to get fucked up. Get fucked up. 

I grabbed one of the unknown pills out of the hand of the boy and inspected it. He looked at me, probably ready to tell me to fuck off, but his face changed when he realized who i was. I continued my inspection. This has to be ecstasy. I smirked and opened my mouth wide.

 Im so ready for this. 

A hand smacked the shit out of mine before the drug made it into my mouth though. Which is unfortunate. I looked to my left once again and saw rose staring at me in disappointment. 

“Just no.” She said lowly. 

My lips pursed and i shook my head, i feel a laugh coming on from out of nowhere. She grabbed my arms and pulled me back in the center of the floor. Where is that laugh that i thought was coming? It never came. That’s life. Randomly a burst of laughter came out of my mouth as i stood in between lisa, and rose. 

“Am i drunk!?” I yelled at the two girls over the music.

“Yes!” Lisa yelled back. She looks as drunk as i feel though. 

One thing i know is im not as drunk as i could be. I wanted to get shitfaced but i won’t because sex isn’t as good when you’re shitfaced. I smirked and turned. My eyes landed on baekhyun while he quietly observed from the vip hang out area. His eyes low as he looks down at everyone. His forearms always look so sexy when he does this. He suddenly ran a hand through his hair, moving the strands that fell in his eyes. That’s the man i love up there. Im so proud to be his. Who would have thought i would fall in love like this. I always thought i was so incapable of such a thing. He finally caught me staring at him and smiled. His hand made a small wave at me and i did the same back to him. 

No one and nothing could ever replace the place he carved in my heart.

“She’s getting shitfaced baekhyun.” Sehun said while squeezing my shoulder and looking down at aya. 

I breathed in slowly, continuing to watch my girlfriend dance around and about. Her outfit making every move of her hips so much more magical. Every few seconds she glances at me, and every few minutes she stares into my eyes. I know what she wants. There’s no doubt about it. The way she’s dancing, the looks she’s giving, the way she keeps downing drinks to tempt me to come down and stop her like i usually do. Two can play this game.

“No, she’s not getting shitfaced. She knows what she’s doing.”

“Whatever you say, hyung.” The guy said, already about to walk away.

My hand slapped to his chest to stop him. “Here, take this, hold it for me, it’s expensive.” I spoke as my hands removed the jacket on my body. Sehun scowled a bit at me for making him babysit a damn jacket, but walked away with it in his hands, knowing better than to not listen to me when i tell him to do something. I walked down the stairs slowly and watched aya the whole way down. When my feet hit the floor my energy changed. It’s a completely different vibe on the bottom. 

Just as i approached the love of my life she looked up at the vip area with confused eyes. I smiled and grabbed her by the hips before pulling her into a back hug. 

“Baekhyun!” She said with a slight laugh in her tone.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“What is this you’re drinking?” I asked her. Without waiting for an answer i slipped the glass out of her hand and into mine. Gulping it down quickly only to surprise her. She looked at me with wide eyes. She knows i hate alcohol, but here i am, finishing her drink off. 

Fuck. What the fuck was that stuff!? It tastes so fucking bad. 

I smiled at her and gave the cup back. “Let’s get more.” 

“Whaaat are you doing?” She asked, giggling a bit at me.

That drink is fucking me up. How was aya drinking this stuff so nonchalantly!?

I cleared my throat before speaking into her right ear. “Daddy can’t drink with his number one girl anymore?”

She grabbed onto my shirt in a sudden act of passion. “You can drink something better than alcohol.”

Ahh yes, intoxicated aya. The most aggressive aya. My laugh came out nervous even though i didn’t feel that at this moment.

Her eyes bore into mine so intensely. I feel like i can’t breathe. A smirk flashed on her lips before she turned around, pushing her ass into me. 

Our bodies moved as one. Rolling into one another slowly to the tempo of the song playing. The pants im wearing are starting to make me uncomfortable. 

Im so reactive to everything she does. Her touch, her stare, her smile, her kiss. It all just sets me on fire. She knows just how to burn me up just as much as she knows how to cool me down. There’s no one that could replace her. And having her here makes me realize how truly miserable i was without her. 

“Baekhyun?” My baby whispered seductively in my ear. 

I hummed in response she pressed her lips to my ear softly. “What are you thinking?” A teasing question flowed out of her mouth into my ear. Her tone completely drench in lust.

“Im thinking about how every time you touch me, i feel like i could die right then and there. My whole life being fulfilled at that moment.”

Her movements stopped and she flipped to look me in my eyes. 

“And when i somehow survive you, the feeling just replays. With every touch.” 

Aya’s eyes lit up with every word that came out of my mouth. I took her chin in my hand gently, slowly covering her soft lips with mine. Her hands became impatient as they ran up and down my torso. She wanted all of me. Even if it meant having me right here while everyone watches. The only thing is, i don’t have the strength to refuse anymore.

Please forgive me in advance. When i indulge in her at this moment. Everything i have been holding back will come out from the place i held it all down in. 

As always the kiss became more rough while our hands began to dig into each other harshly. 

I pulled away quickly, trying to remember how to use words. “I-uhmm, are you sure baby?”

“Who do you think i am. Of course im sure. I want you to fuck me right now. And i mean right now.”

Without even thinking anymore, i picked her up by her thighs. 

They’re so soft and perfect. It’s like this woman was made just for me. 

I carried her to one of the private rooms as her tongue played with my neck. 

“Are you ready babydoll?”

“Always daddy.”

“Im not going to hold back.”

“Me either.”

“Then what are you doing with your clothes still on?”

My voice became more and more hoarse as my head began to spin. 

“Too much?”

I turned my head to the side and let out a meek no. Im enjoying the slightly painful pleasure. 

My legs are crossed together and pushed up into my chest, as baekhyun continues to eat me out on his knees. I don’t know if its possible to be in so much pleasure. His tongue is making movements they never have before. He’s been at it for what feels like an hour. I don’t know how much more i can take. My eyes shut tight when he started to suck on my clit harshly. He moaned into me one good time and it brought me to my edge. 

“Baekhyun, no more please. Im gonna cum again.”

“Shhh, daddy’s eating.” He said playfully before smacking my right ass cheek quickly. “Don’t be rude.”

“I c-can’t-”

“Yes you can. Watch.”

His tongue entered my hole smoothly, going in and out slowly while his thumb rubbed my clit. Picking up the past after i screamed his name. The music in this place was hiding the dirty sounds we were making. But honestly i couldn’t care less if someone heard me,

“Shit baekhyun!” With another scream of pleasure my climax hit me hard. My legs shook as my back arched up off the couch. I couldn’t see anything because my eyes shut tightly. but for some reason that made it more pleasurable. I kept jumping at jolts of intense pleasure shooting through me. I couldn’t stop it. Baekhyun was still licking up the mess he made of me. The mans hands finally let my legs down from their position. 

I was still trying to catch my breathe when he got up and unbuckled the belt of his jeans. 

“I want you to ride me baby. Can you do that?”

“I can daddy.” I said even though my body was tired. 

I needed more. 

Baekhyun pulled me up into his arms and kissed me like it was the last time he ever would. His tongue dominated mine before he sat down on the couch pulling me onto his lap. My shirt, jean shorts, and bra were disregarded the moment we got into this room. He had ripped my fishnets for better access to my sweet spots. So all i have on is my thigh highs and what isn’t torn of my fishnets. Baekhyun seemed to be enjoying my attire maybe too much. His eyes so shameless as he stared at my body without blinking.

“I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but don’t ever give this body to anyone else. It’s all mine. Besides im the only one that knows what to do with it.” The boy spoke cockily while reaching for a condom and ripping it open with his teeth.

“Same goes for you too, playboy.” I playfully smirked at him. 

I looked down to watch him put it on before i took his hard cock in my hand and guided it towards my tight entrance. Rubbing his tip there teasingly, a groan escaped from his perfect mouth. He could feel how wet and hot i am. It’s making him whine a bit for me to put it inside already. Patience was never his strong suit in times like this. But i could say the same for myself.

“Shit.” Baekhyun spoke under his breathe when i sank down onto him. His hands grabbed at my hips while i twirled them slowly around his cock. My head fell back in pure ecstasy. He’s filling me up so perfectly. I can never get enough of him. And that’s saying a lot coming from me.

I went faster as soon as his moaning got louder, slamming my tight wet core onto his length. My nails dug into his shoulders, making him bite his plump bottom lip in reaction. Guiding my head head into his neck, i continued to take him inside me. It feels like he’s stretching me out a bit more than usual, my eyes keep rolling up into my head, and my toes are curling harshly. Sex with baekhyun has always been good, but it’s something about the teasing, the holding back, the fact i have been away for so long.  Such raw pleasure. It should be illegal.

My fingers tangled in his hair as i worked harder on top of him. Im feeling dirtier by the second. His moaning isn’t helping either.

“Fuck! Yes, yes, yes!” I screamed with my back arching. Im riding him harder than i ever have. I don’t want this feeling to stop but i can’t slow down.

“My dirty little slut loves her daddy’s cock doesn’t she.”

“Yes, daddy!”

“Cum then baby, cum on daddy’s cock.”

My eyes snapped open. I bit my lip in restraint. Can i be selfish?

“Not yet daddy.” I said meekly with his dick deep inside of me, throbbing in anticipation. 

“Not yet huh?”

My movements went from slowed down to completely stopped. My eyes locked with his impatient ones. He’s not having it. I can tell just by his expression, how bad he needs to cum. 

Baekhyun suddenly slapped my ass, making me jolt up. He picked me up and moved me to side of him, my back hitting the soft white sofa. 

“Ass up, face down. Don’t make me repeat myself.” 

A small moan came from me as i looked up at him. My body all exposed for his eyes only. His hair a bit messy and sweaty, His lips plump and dark pink from all the things he did with them. His member rock hard and twitching a bit. Baekhyun’s body is perfection to me. There’s no denying how bad i want him. Not like i want to though.

I picked myself up, moving my limbs that are feeling heavier than usual. My cheek pushed up against the seat of this couch and baekhyun made a sound of appreciation. 

“Damn, you’re so fucking perfect. Will i ever get used to this?”

“Probably not.” I said with a smirk. I know the view im giving him is delicious. I can feel my core dripping juices and my ass is probably still a little red from our rough acts. 

Just how he likes it. 

“Are you ready to go to the moon, my queen?”

“Yes, my king.”

My cheeks lit up as i dug my face more into the cushions. I have never been so happy to be with such a cheesy man in my life. 

His cock slowly filled me up while he used his hands to spread out my ass cheeks. I gripped onto nothing when he pushed into my spot. 

“I still remember all your sweet spots, babydoll.” He spoke with a roughness that made my chest stir. My back arching even more for him, just wanting him to fuck me into oblivion. Baekhyun gripped on my hips so his thrusts can be more aggressive. Hitting that spot just how i want him to. 

“Shit!! Faster!”

A little breathless chuckle came out of him right before he grabbed my hair roughly, my back completely arched at this point. 

He’s so deep. 

“Harder baekhyun! Fuck me harder!”

His member throbbed intensely when he dug himself deep inside me, putting pressure on that one spot. My eyes shut tightly when he slapped my ass. 

I can’t hold it anymore. 

“So fucking tight.” His hoarse voice had a low grunt in it, sending major chills down my spine. “Daddy needs you to cum for him. Right now.” 

As if on cue my eyes shut tightly, the knot in my stomach finally unraveling. Extreme pleasure washing over like a warm wave. I could feel my juices flow out of me while my body shook messily.

Two last strong thrust from baekhyun made him empty his load inside of me. Baekhyun gripped my hips to keep me in place while i came down from my high. 

“Fuck.” Baekhyun spoke under his breath, while trying to catch up to it. “I missed this so much.”

I smiled while pulling away from him. “I missed it more, baekhyun.”

“Did you?” The man asked suggestively. “Maybe we need to do it again, you know, to make sure you don’t miss it anymore.”

“Hush, baekhyun.”

The purple lights gave everyone somewhat of a pretty filter. Or maybe it’s the alcohol im sipping on. Baekhyun is seated next to me with his legs spread over the white couch of the vip hang out. I love when he sits like this. 

Everyone else left to the lower level when me and baekhyun disappeared into one of the private rooms. I guess they got bored just sitting up here, looking down on everyone. I know i did. 

I stood up to look at the dance floor. They all seem to be having so much. The two youngest men occupied the middle of the dance floor along with lisa. Chanyeol, and chen were in the crowd being hype men while wearing wide, innocent smiles. Rose is trying to get jennie to dance with the rest, which won’t work. I chuckled a bit. And jisoo, suho, and minseok filled in a private room to watch the floor in a more comfortable placing. 

In my past, making friends. and having people to trust, was never needed. Or that’s what i thought. Back then i had me, and that was enough. Enough to get by. Enough to get out of that orphanage at such a young age. I did what i had to, because i was determined to find the gold hidden in all the shitty dirt of my life. Then i met my girls, and i learned that other people are trustworthy. That other people don’t have to be my enemies all the time. Now, knowing exo, knowing all of them as trustworthy, amazing, and sweet guys, my horizons have been broadened. I know that it’s not just me, and im not in a endless survival war, fighting all alone. I know now i was always one step ahead. Only because of these assholes.They pave the way for me. I don’t know if i would even be alive without them. And in the case that i would be, i would have been somehow dead inside. These people have become something close to oxygen in my life. I need them more than anything else. And as long as they’re by my side. I can live.

“Aya!” 

My eyes snapped to a red haired disaster stumbling in from the front entrance and four other girls coming along with it. I sighed deeply as the one in front twinkled her fingers in my direction. “Red velvet has arrived no pictures please!” 

The five girls came barging in, rudely pushing people out of the way. My girls tapped each other in warning while the boys continued to dance without a clue.

If there were anyone other than taeyeon we try to avoid, it’s these girls. All they do is ask for attention and pick fights, which they always lose. Not to mention the million times they tried to steal from us, or tried to have us killed for “stealing” jiyong and his crew. Or the time they snitched on us and we went under investigation for three days. Good times.......yeah. The only reason we didn’t kill them by now is because they’re so dumb they don’t deserve it. But no matter how much we try to help they just continue to...well...be them.

Lisa looked up to me and mouthed a silent “what are they doing here.” 

I just shook my head in reaction. I wish i knew the answer to that question. Unfortunately they show up at the worst times. At least taeyeon always stayed far, far away from us. 

“Oh what the fuck....” I spoke under my breath in misery. Irene jumped in the arms of sehun sweetly and without hesitation he latched onto her. I can feel my gag reflex acting up.

“That must be sehun’s girl.” Baekhyun said calmly from the couch, phone in hand.

“His what!?” My feet stormed down the stairs in a rush. I could faintly hear baekhyun call for me and probably follow me but im not really thinking about that. 

“Uhmm where, why, and how?” A bossy tone lead my words out of my mouth without blinking. 

“I missed you so much, oppaaa.” The girl ignored me and continued to indulge in the young man holding her. “It feels like forever since i had seen you.”

“I know, honeydew.” He smiled sweetly like a child. 

“Im gonna fucking hurl.” Jennie said with an eye roll. 

I must say, i hate this just as much as i am surprised by it. 

“Oh, right, noona, this is irene, and her friends, call them red velvet, i met them at a club downtown. They are a smaller gang, you could say, but my girl works very hard to make it expand, like us.” a smiling sehun finally replied.

“She drugged you didn’t sh-”

“So this is the exo ganggg, very interesting, i always wanted to know more about you mysterious boys.” Joy cut me off in annoyance. My assumption just might be right.”You guys keep to yourselves well. Until the jiyong dragon thing of course.”

The five girls spread out, eyeing every exo member standing close to them. I hope they know i know what the fuck they’re doing. “Ehem! I get that you were invited but i think it’s better if you leave.” I said with the last bit of patience i have.

“I heard suho is the the boss but baekhyun’s running things.” Seulgi whispered to wendy, and joy while irene eskimo kissed sehun. Exo continued to stand around or pay no attention to the intruding woman. I feel annoyed that we always have to tell them who to watch out for. 

My eyes locked with jisoo, telling her silently that if i get ignored one more time, im going to bash a few skulls in. She quickly worked her way to the dance floor with a tense expression. “Alright, sehun. Not to burst your bubble, but you need to take these girls elsewhere, or better yet cut them off right now.”

“What!? Why?” Sehun said looking completely confused by her words. 

“Because they’re trashy and they’ll screw you over. Oh, and i can’t stand looking at them anymore.” I spoke in a bittersweet tone with an annoyed smile.

“Ugh. What. Ever. You have always hated us for no reason. Don’t let her talk to me this way sebear!” Irene whined.

“Wait....they’ll what?....i, uhmm....” The boy looked blankly down at her as she continued to act like a spoiled brat. To be honest i’ve never seen her act like this. She’s obviously putting on a fake personality for the boy. Who would have thought he was into the princess asshole type. 

“Now, sehun.” Baekhyun said with an arm thrown over my shoulder. It was apparent he couldn’t care less about these girls. 

“How about later.” Seulgi said cockily. My left eyebrow shot up quickly when i finally looked at her. Gun in hand, her smirk widened even more. Her long slender arms aiming straight for my head.

“You have got to be kidding me.” I said lowly. Of course they’re here to rob us. All we are is a come up for people like them. All this money, all this power, and this unbreakable bond we formed. There are really people out there that hate the sound of us doing well. These bitches especially. 

Everyone around us froze in surprise as the rest of red velvet pulled out firearms. Sehun, along with the surprised crowd, stopped moving. We tried to tell him his girl isn’t what she seems. 

“Alright then, one of you rookies go fire the body guards outside. Im gonna go bring the car around.” I said with my hands up in the air. I am simply not in the mood for these girls right now. I just wanted to relax tonight. 

The sound of a gun shot off loudly filling the room with panic. I ducked after remembering seulgi was aiming for me, and i think wendy too. A bullet blew past the top of my lowered head, penetrating the couch, then the floor. I grabbed baekhyun’s hand and ran behind the couch, hoping that didn’t hit anyone.

“What the fuck!” I yelled. Just when i thought i couldn’t get any more annoyed.

“Drop all your wallets, and jewelry, and you might not get shot down!” I heard irene yell. I continued to stay low, ducking behind the injured couch. I peeked above to see irene holding her weapon to sehun’s neck with a grin. 

“Fuck this being nice shit. I think i gave them enough chances to breathe air.” I said to myself softly. To hell with it. My hand reached for the knife on my person. It’s the only thing i brought and the only thing i need. My legs picked up the past as i crouch ran towards wendy who was running the pockets of some random guy that definitely isn’t a exo rookie. My foot connected with the girls face harshly, her body hitting the floor and her hand dropping the gun in it. Just when my instinct kicked in to stick my knife in her neck she whipped her head around in complete fear. My arm stopped in it’s tracks to analyze what i should really do at the moment. 

“Ughhh! You’re so fucking lucky.” I said before kicking her one more good time to knock her out. 

My girls had already taken care of the other unwanted guests, and sehun had switched the gun around on irene while she stood in front of him with shaky knees. 

“Shoot them all, i don’t want to see their fucking faces again!” I looked at suho standing from the vip area with a pissed off expression. 

Sehun cocked his head to the side quickly, im sure he didn’t have a problem now that he knows what’s up with her. But for some reason. I do. 

“Don’t! don’t shoot okay, they’re a pain in the ass but they don’t deserve to be dead.” I said, slowly walking over to sehun. 

“Nope! They tried to play sehun, held him hostage, and attempted to rob our club. They have to go.” Suho spoke sternly down at me. 

“Okay, then, let’s figure something else out. But let them live.” I pleaded with the man. I don’t even know why myself, to be honest.

“Hm, okay, bring them back to the house. All of them. I know just how they can repay me for the shit they pulled tonight.” Suho had a dark aura when he fixed the sleeves of his shirt. 

“W-w-what are you going to do t-to us?” Irene asked with a stutter.

“Oh, don’t worry. Im a business man, consider this as me taking you in as my employee, except every penny you make goes to me, either that or you can die where you’re standing.” The boss man spoke as he glided down the stairs, happy to have found another source of income, obviously. 

“He has such a hard-on for money.” Chen said out of nowhere. 

“Don’t we all?” I said with a slight chuckle.

“Yeah.”

The feeling of being under water has always been so inviting for me. I love how my body feels so surrounded and engulfed in it. The weightless but also somewhat heavy feel to my body. The challenge of holding my breath. Im much like a kid when i get around water. Then again i never went to the pool or the beach much when i was little, no matter how much i wanted to. I never really went anywhere except school, to be honest. My mother was always too busy staying home and waiting for my dad to arrive with a new girl on his arm to take me anywhere. I remember those days like they were yesterday. He would tell me that he faked being drunk just get a girl to drive him to his house. I remember how he would have sex in his car outside. And how i was so young all i thought he was doing was showing those woman the boxers i helped my mom pick out for him on fathers day. I remember the feeling of being alone in the world because my older brother ran away from home so young and left me to fend for myself. My brother....i remember how much i had wished i found him sooner. 

None of them ever gave a shit about me. But maybe my broth-

Air, i need air!

My body sprung out of the water while i flipped my wet hair out of my face. I was breathing deeply in and out to get rid of the deprived feeling i have. My hands ran through the soaked strands of my hair while i started to breathe steadily again. I wiped my face before opening my eyes. The blue sky of this warm early morning and the huge white mansion i live in, greeted me with what felt like smiles. 

Bad things have happened to everyone in there. Things that messed them up. But we found a way out of it and here we are. Living the lives of filthy criminals. I guess after we all struggled so much we weren’t able to think about struggling more. We weren’t strong enough to. Life punched us and now we’re finally punching it back. Making money the dirty way, and hurting others. Even taking lives. But to be frank, i don’t think any of us care about others anymore. I don’t think any of us would even think twice about pulling the trigger on someone now. We aren’t good people. We’re damaged goods. There’s no more denying for us. There’s no reason to. 

What’s so wrong with giving up on being right?

“What are you thinking about, baek?”

Aya’s voice startled me out of my thoughts. I turned to the side of the pool where she is standing, clad in a big t-shirt and slippers. Her hand was occupied with a cup of something, and her hair looks so messy from sleep, 

She looks perfect like this. So, so perfect. 

“I’ve been shot.” I said under my breath.

“You what?” She spoke loudly at the edge of the pool. Her free hand cupped her ear and her eyebrows raised.

“Nothing!” My chuckle bouncing off the water. “Good morning babygirl!”

“Morning...” She said with her attention switching to her now barefoot dipping into the water.

 Adorable.

Aya bit her lip and took her foot out. Her hand sat down her mug as she kicked off the other slipper on her left foot. I held my breath in anticipation of her next move, watching her take a few steps back and away from the edge. The girl suddenly ran towards the water. A smile growing on her face with every movement. 

A large splash sound hit my ears when aya dived into the warm pool without hesitation. Her head popped up out of the water as she smiled so brightly, moving her hair out of the way.

“I fucking love you so much, it’s insane.”

“What was that baekhyun!?” The girl yelled at me as she tried to dry her face more. 

“Nothing! Come here!” i yelled back at her. She paddled across cutely and in a hurry. My eyes couldn’t get enough of the site. If only there was such thing as a replay button.

“Hi.” She whispered when she threw her arms over my shoulders. 

“Hi.” I said back with a smile, my hands squeezing her waist.

“What were you thinking about? I saw you were in deep thought when i came out here.”

“I was thinking about life. Or the things that surround me, rather.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Well. Sure. I was just thinking about how, maybe i would have been different if my brother was still alive.”

“That is true. We all could have been different if that one thing that pushed over the edge didn’t happen.”

“But then i thought, it did happen, and i am different. And maybe im not living the best life. But i am young, and im rich as fuck, and i have you, and everyone else. I guess what im saying is im happy. Am i allowed to be happy?”

“I would like to think everyone should be allowed to be happy. But then when i think about the shit i have done, and the shit i will do, i think otherwise. On the other hand, after everything i have been through, happiness is something i had to fight for. Hard. Now im here, and im happy, and if this is so wrong i don’t ever want to be right. You know?”

“Yeah, i get that.” I said lowly while looking at her arms that are linked around me. 

“The real question is, how did you hold up while i was gone?”

“I was in complete misery. Is it possible to get physically sick because of your need for someone?”

“I don’t know the answer to that one, baek. But i do understand what you mean. Though i had to keep my health up, if not i would have lost my hope of getting out of there.”

“My babygirl is so strong. Too strong. Im kind of scared of you.” I joked with her and chuckled when a smile graced her face and my eyes. “That whole experience taught me how to man up, and it taught me how to be strong like you.”

Her cheeks lit up a light red color as she smiled shyly at me. She has no idea how special i feel. Im so happy to be the one that put that expression on this pretty face of hers.

“Well i learned that i can trust people, and that i love people, and that i can count on people. Also that it’s not only me in this world.”

“And don’t you ever forget that.” I said playfully. My nose nudged hers before she looked up for a second. Quickly she read my eyes. I hope she read them well. My lips latched onto hers slowly and she gripped on my shoulders. 

“How much do you love me?” She pulled back and said breathlessly.

“To the moon and back. I took you there last night, remember?” I said, a smirk accidentally slipping it’s way onto my lips.

Her hands dug into the water and made a quick upwards motion, splashing me in the face with chlorinated water. I struggled to get to her and stop the torture but my eyes closed tightly so i couldn’t find her. I took a chance and held my breath before diving for her and into the water. Her body filled up my arms as i fell into the warm pool. All i could feel was her struggling and the thick shirt she wore to bed. Our bodies popped up at the same time, missing that sweet oxygen. 

“You play too much!” She yelled with the cutest giggle and extremely soaked features. 

“So do you!” 

Im still young and im still figuring shit out. Im allowed to do that. I know as long as i have these people surrounding me. 

Everything’s going to be okay.

AUTHORS NOTE : Ahahahahaha! I did it! and yes the smut is shitty i freakin knowwwww!!! im going to get better T-T i hope.......anywaysss yall got to see more into baekhyun this chapter i hope you guys liked that uwu lmao you might get a look into chanyeols mind too soon...i mean.. what? hahah i hope you enjoyedddd if you did let me know i wanna talk more with you all uwu and also im about to hit 80 followers what should i do? 

kissesss <3333 ~ lailaaaa

[loversarcanas]

1, 12, 17, 21, 22, 26, 27, 29, 43, 50, 52, 54, 59, 61, 62, 63, 64, 68, and 92 :3 (I def went a lil wild but FUN ASKS)

LISA HAVE I TOLD U I LOVE U YET BC THANKS I LOVE U!!!!!!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? teacups! they’re so delicate and cute and have such pretty designs on them! (i actually collected tea sets for a short while before i ran out of space at home, so i want to keep collecting them when i move out and have more space). Coffee mugs are a close second though, they’re so cozy!

12. name of your favorite playlist? Aphrodite! It’s a playlist I made for my current D20 Modern character, and while it isn’t anywhere near complete you can listen here if you like!

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? I have a pair of comfy white and pink flip flops that I’ve been wearing since last spring, i’m a total flip flop ho and I love how low effort it is to wear them

21. obsession from childhood? already answered! it’s pokemon!

22. role model? honestly I don’t really have any role models I can say, I’m someone who really wants to be my own role model and be a positive role model for other people!

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Swimming!!! Though I’ve only done it once so far this year… I feel like I could live in the water and though I’m a bit rusty on it I learned how to semi breath underwater for some short periods of time

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? ice skating!!!! again its been way too long since i last did it but it feels so free and fun

29. best way to bond with you? talking about stuff we’re both into!!! i love making new friends talking about pokemon or anime or veganism, dnd, art, hobbies, lots of stuff!!! honestly just talking to people who are friendly and kind makes me so happy and is the best way to bond with me!!! (though i think you wouldl need a good amount of patience lol i get anxiety and forget to message back a lot…)

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? cardigans!!! hoodies are a close second but i only like them in cold weather. cardigans are light and flowy and especially the long cardigans are my favourites

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? oof thats kinda tough because ive laughed a lot but i remember this one time aaaages ago when my bunny hope was still alive, we had a box of thin mint girl scout cookies on our coffee table and she was having her free roam of the house. she sat on her hind legs at the table and pulled the whole box off and ran back to her pen with it!!! cookies spilled behind her on her way and she took one (1) bite out of like 3 different cookies before we finally got her. i loved that rabbit with my entire heart she was so funny

52. favorite font? i couldnt find the exact one that i downloaded a while ago but i like fonts kinda like this 

54. what did you learn from your first job? not to stretch myself thin to the point of tears every day lmao

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? i dont think i would have a catchphrase so much as i would just throw up a peace sign and call myself a dyke LMAO

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? kdjffhgskdl i feel bad i cant think of anything off the top of my head sorry!! ;;

62. seven characters you relate to? OOH HELL YEAH okay: Sayaka Miki from PMMM, Sayaka Maizono from Dangan Ronpa, Chiaka Nanami from SDR2, Nico Yazawa from Love Live, Dia Kurosawa from Love Live Sunshine, Yang Xiao Long from RWBY, and Glimmer from She Ra

63. five songs that would play in your club? God this is. such a good fucking question

Coloris - she

Hit and Run - Breathe California

I Like it Loud - Cash Cash

Play Hard - David Guetta ft. Ne-Yo & Akon

Casual Affair - Panic at the Disco

64. favorite website from your childhood? ABSOLUTELY neopets. that shit slapped and it still does (bonus second place was theN.com bc of that one avatar game i can not remember the name of)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? i cant think all the way back but today i tried peach gummy rings flavored with lime chili powder and i almost threw up. i dont understand. i love both of these things separately. why do they taste so awful together…… top 10 anime betrayals

lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? ideally? fairy lights. i love the suttle beauty of dim lights. but im also a bitch who struggles to see so i need at least some of the other lights. rip

[jujywrites]

WIP Challenge

I got tagged by @kikithedeceiver to do this!

Challenge: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

Here’s the thing. I don’t have many separate WIP files; most of them are in one huge doc. and most of the separate wip files are... pretty dead? but ok whatevs. under a read more since it’s long...... and my ego won’t let me skip snippets hjkhkhk thanks for the idea Kiki

From my main miscellaneous folder:

50 Grades of Steele. 1 and a half chaps of a role-flipped 50 Shades of Grey rewrite (i haven’t read the books so I extra don’t care about the characters lol). why do i still have it i’ve lost interest.... *side eyes her entire wip ecosystem* ...Then I see my interview subject, seated at her desk.

"Mr. Grey. I'm pleased to meet you."

And I stop breathing. [end CH1]

[open CH2) I forgot to mention something: I exaggerate occasionally. But I'm not now. I literally stop breathing for a few seconds. A thousand thoughts are racing through my mind, which doesn't help my chest stop seizing, but the main problem here is that Anastasia Steele is quite possibly the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

Fanfic idea masterlist. my most active file and where I keep most of my WIPS, unless they get too “large”. Organized by fandom. lotta stuff i keep passing by & may as well be dead but don’t wanna delete. here’s a zero-draft snippet of probably the next chapter of my G-rated yukyoru fic collection

He grabbed a pillow and placed it to his chest, grabbed her arm, and yanked her to him, praying his idea would work.

Seconds passed and he didn't transform. He put his arms around her gingerly. Should he try to immobilize her or would that make it worse?

She made the decision for him. "Mom," she sobbed, clutching him with an iron grip. "N-Need to help...!"

His stomach dropped to his shoes.

Thudding footsteps announced Yuki's arrival. "What's wrong?! Honda-san--"

He didn't say "What did you do?" The thought raced by and Kyo said, "Grab a pillow and help me!"

As Yuki positioned the pillow and himself without having to ask, Kyo said, "She won't wake up. I don't know what to do!"

"Night terror," Yuki said tightly. He was too close but it almost didn't matter. "Not much you can do besides wait."

MayxWard BDSM fic agents of SHIELD. mix of notes and actual writing. kind of a half AU. Melinda climbed into the driver's side and buckled in, then started up the car. "If you've not ridden on the left before you might have motion sickness. It's normal. Just close your eyes until—" She paused as she looked at him; his hands shook so much he couldn't manage the seatbelt. "Here, let me."

"Thanks," he muttered with a sigh, looking rueful.

Modern AU Zelink. What it says on the tin~ Teenage-ish Zelink, with a mash of supporting characters from other games. another mix of notes and fic. Link wasn't sleeping tonight. Tonight was the night he'd been planning for and awaiting for weeks. He was going on a quest: the quest to meet Princess Zelda. 

She wasn't really a princess, of course. That was just her nickname. Zelda Nohansen was Hyrule's sweetheart, the most sought-after young actress in the movie business. And Link had fallen in love with her the first time he'd seen her, two years ago in a tiny theater in Kakariko.

PMMMfic homumado. Madoka Magica. AU, been around since about an hour after I finished the series (5 years yikes, still gotta watch Rebellion). Homura's time power still somewhat involved, but Mami's an adult, everyone's at a boarding school (I think?) where ~things aren't as they first seem~ and Madoka has mysterious powers and night terrors. just notes at the moment.

SoubixHitomi.  Loveless. 3 unfinished/dead first-person Shinonome-senseixSoubi snippets, all of ‘em spicy.

yvy abo. Yuri On Ice. Yuri (Katsuki!!)/Victor/Yuko(!!?!), my attempt at. well. omegaverse(!!!!!!!). orignally started as part of a “bad YOI fic” bigbang and now I’m taking it seriously dgdgfg. Alpha Yuko. “Please, please stop,” she whispered, like saying it aloud would make any difference. But the pressure in her head kept building. Her limbs had begun to itch restlessly.

And Victor wouldn’t let go of her hand.

With the last scrap of her control, she straddled him quickly and kissed him awake.

Even in half-sleep he arched to meet her, and when he opened his eyes sapphire blue had already turned stormy with lust.

yvy canonfuturefic. Yuko-focused following of canon, or: how canon can I keep YOI while still rareship OT3ing it. She and Yuri fall in and out of love, in between falling for Victor. Victuri is still my life I swear   

“You have got to watch this,” she tells Yuri. She watches Yuri’s face instead of the video, having seen it at least forty times by now.

Yuri’s eyes transform into beacons of awe, and Yuko swallows around her rapid heartbeat, breaths coming too short. She sees everything she’s feeling and more on his face. She remembers that she loves him, that he’s real and here and more important than the beautiful boy on her phone who’s trying to pull her under to a scary new world.

ZnT ot3 bdsm AU. Zankyou no Terror, 9/12/Lisa. mix of notes and fic, not just PWP. in heavy need of editing bc a lot was inspired by a non-spicy book.

“But it’s not just me. It’s everyone. You need everyone because you have no idea how to need yourself. Or even how to be yourself.”

“You’re wrong.” The force and volume of her voice shocked her and pushed her onward. “You and Touji. I don’t need anyone except you and Touji! Because you both taught me how to be myself-- no, how to find that on my own. I know exactly who I am, and that me isn’t complete without both of you!” She could feel the tears streaming down her face, yet somehow her voice didn’t waver. She felt so full of conviction she could burst into flames. “Don’t you understand, Arata? We’re all meant to be together.”

From my SnK folder:

Cave of the Crystal Maiden (working title). Aruani. Modern AU. MMORPG shenanigans with a dollop of magical realism/supernatural. Just notes. @portraitofa-girl suggested “meeting online” and it’s been there literally for years oh lord im sorry. no fic yet, just notes.

Falling Anthem (working title) Modern AU Levihan, art student Hange and young professor Levi. just notes. fic one in a planned series. also has been years ;_;

Raindrops and Soft Steps. Jearmin. unsurprisingly, modern AU. One morning, when Jean looks out of his bedroom window, he sees a boy dancing across the street. In the street, to be exact. There wouldn't be anything unusual about that, Jean supposes, except it's raining cats and dogs outside.

In my IAMXfic folder (fff i almost skipped this):

2ndPOVCalberto (DO NOT CORRUPT WITH HET) ChrisxAlberto? not much to say?? yes i know they’re real people??? which applies to everything after this oh my god *crawls under desk* Of course she knows; she is annoyingly perceptive when it comes to romance. The only thing preventing you from asking her (like a fucking lovestruck teenager) if Alberto likes you back is emptying that beer bottle. By then the only thing on your mind is ordering another.

CalbertImmi. i can’t even keep my poly shit outta RPF ahaha omhg Imogen has a conversation with her lover's lover. (AlbertImmi, sequel to...) Imogen finds herself in an unenviable position. (emerging CalbertImmi)

Alternate summaries (CC POV, first fic?): Chris loves two people. He doesn't want to choose. Chris has fallen in love a few times in his life. But he's never fallen for two people at once. (Chris also isn't good at choosing.)

ChrisxJ. several self-insert fics bc CC is just that powerful, apparently. haven’t looked at the file in a long time,,,,,

He started calling people to the stage with him, and one by one, my row emptied.

"Come on, yeah, come on," he was saying, waving his hand in an inviting gesture and grinning like a little kid. "Hey, you want to?" I did a double take.

"Me?" I mouthed, pointing at myself just to be sure. He nodded, smiling wider.

So it was that I walked unsteadily down the ramp and waited in line, feeling like I didn’t belong there. Soon I was next in line. What would I say? What would I do? I was sure if I opened my mouth I’d either burst into tears or faint.

Genderswapped IAMX sci-fi. The sci-fi was inspired by a word prompt, genderswapping by my own brain. (play spot the Immi lmao) Across the aisle, Sam rolled his eyes. “Leave Chris alone; she’s nervous.”

“And put on your own seatbelt, Johann,” shouted Jess, two seats back and in Sam’s aisle.

Patrick turned  to look at Chris. “Subspace travel is a bitch,” he said simply, and turned back to his book.

“Oh, I feel much less nervous now,” Chris said with a sardonic grin. “How do you know that, anyway?”

"I'm not exactly what I seem to be." He didn’t look up.

Chriimmi (While I Was Gone inspired). Chris/Imogen, inspired by scenes from Sue Miller’s While I Was Gone.

"You really ought not to do that, you know," he said softly.

"Do what?"

"Sneak up on me."

My eyes slid from his face. "I didn't mean to. It just... happened."

"Mm." I glanced back at him; he wore a lopsided smile. "Not that I minded." The tension was so strong the air nearly vibrated with it, yet I held my tongue, terrified that I was the only one feeling it. He took a breath, deep, nearly rising on his toes. "No. I didn't mind at all." He took my hand, circled his thumb over the back. My breath caught as I felt it, as I watched him looking down at our hands.

Chriimmi bathtub dream. dream inspired Chris/Immi smut.

Chriimmi twitter. twitfic plus some, inspired from an actual tweet iamx made that i’m still not over. 

@ imogenheap Come sing your lovely lyrics with us in London. @ IAMX misses you. CCx

ChrisxImmi main. grab bag of Chriimmi I was too lazy to put into separate docs.

“What do you think?” She grinned, twirling.

He cleared his throat. “Ah, I-Imogen, what are you wearing?”

“Well, I didn’t want to clash with your theme…  Janine helped me. Does it work?”

Scandalously short skirt, midriff-baring top, knee-high boots.

“You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you? You’re trying to fucking kill me.”

Her grin only widened, even though a blush had started.

Fic edit chriimmi ver. yeah. editing someone else’s original fic to be chrimmi. either never posting or editing the frick out of. ~_~

He kissed her neck, whispered into it, “I love you.”

Imogen laughed. “Bollocks,” she said lazily.

”I do!” Chris protested. She looked down at him, nestled on her shoulder. He looked back, open, a little adoring. “I fell in love with you halfway through the show; I sang every note just for you.”

”Oh, please. You couldn’t have seen me.”

”No,” he said. “But I knew you were out there… I knew it had been you the minute I saw you backstage.”

Hospital Chriimmi. In which my guilty feeling over RPF are even worse bc of the inspiration ^_^U “Ms. Heap. What a pleasant surprise.” It’s surprising, how well she remembers his voice.

“Mr. Corner, what have you got yourself into?”

“Oh, just a bit of lingering insomnia. You know how it is.”

She takes a seat in the chair near his bed, crossing her legs. “Well, I’ve certainly had a sleepless night here and there, but I’ve never ended up in hospital from it. So no, I don’t suppose I do know.” Her tone is light, but her smile has begun to crack.

ImmixChris genderbend smut. the my secret friend video is... fertile material. have not actually written the smut yet.

...he saw us as characters– we put on those clothes and become separate from ourselves, removed. Whereas I simply felt like myself in men’s clothes, and instead of feeling what He felt for Her, I just kept right on feeling what I felt for Chris, amplified to a distracting level.

ReluctantdommeImmixSubCC. ...shrug emoji? notes and uh. visualizing.

Vampire Chriimmi. based on a dream. smutty. inspired by True Blood so wow that’s old.

From my Markipairings folder:

demon dream. markiplier self insert...... ughhhhhhhh o///o

"You can have me," I tell the creature. "But this one," I jerk my head toward Mark, "comes with me. He's mine, you see." A bold proclamation to make, but in the moment I know that the truth in those words surpasses everything I've ever said. He is mine, and saying the thought out loud fills me with courage. He squeezes my hand, two short and a long one so strong I think he might break it.

I know we’ll win.

DommeJujY. same as above, same as the next four. smutty.

Fight team AU. i forget where i got this one from. vaguely inspired by loveless i guess.  The first clear thought I had was, He shouldn't have gone ahead of me. The second one was, I should have been able to protect him. But these came later, after the rage went away, after I hugged him and apologized, after I bandaged him…

Gaming meetcute. i win some contest or whatever to secretly tagteam w/ Mark. stuff happens and yeah......

The adrenaline surges through my veins as I take in the scene. Mark's avatar is flailing around, backed into a corner by some Eldritch Abomination and holy shit, the graphics in this game are amazing.

"This is not good, I can't move, I can't move…"

There's a voice in the back of my head screaming to shut the game down, to get that horrible thing off the screen. I ignore it.

Markinpanties. .......smut.

shifter-slight sci-fi AU. shrug emoji.

I looked up from the ground and saw I was heading straight for a brick wall. There was no time to slow down. I braced for impact...

It didn't happen. I opened my eyes and found myself in a café.

What.

Looking behind me, I saw a door. On impulse I walked over and opened it; the tree-lined street I could see through the glass was indeed there. No brick wall to smack my face into. Bewildered, I turned around and looked for a seat, choosing one near a window.

Gouldiplier~. master doc of ficbits of my cracky mccrackship, MarkiplierxEllie Goulding.

I check my phone during break time again. My selfie has been liked and retweeted thousands of times, and I shake my head in disbelief; I don't think that will ever stop surprising me, deep down. To make things even better, Mark's liked it! I'm in the middle of a happy jig when I realize there's a text from him and a squeak of joy slips from me.

hellooo gorgeous

looks like you're having fun. Hope the shoot's going great! <3

I quickly send a reply. it has been. Be glad when it's done tho. Missin u lots xo

Markipicbunnies. fanart of Mark for Gouldiplier insipration. photographer au. 

"Ms. Goulding, I'm really not sure about this…"

"I produce pictures that are intimate because I'm an intimate being, Mark." Ellie looked at him directly, a hint of a smile shaping her lips. "Deep down, I think you are too. We just need to draw you out a bit."

showersexgouldiplier. WELP. IT’S SMUT.

Also I have folders for my 2010/11 nanowrimo novel that are kinda still WIPs but also kinda not

i’m gonna tag.... @kippielovesyou @kiridork and @mistergrass and anyone else who wants to do this can too :3

[olivia-ivy]

Peter’s Favorite

(This was a commission for @the-gilbird and the prompt “Drunk Avengers w/ Sober Peter laughing at them”. Hope you like it!)

"You will never know the feeling of true betrayal until your kid says their favorite Avenger isn't you," Tony said, flopping on the couch dramatically.

Scott barked out a laugh. "Yeah, I've been there. Cassie likes Iron Man because, and I quote, 'he's smart like you, Daddy, but he's better because he's super rich'."

"Remind me to buy her a pony," Tony said, and Scott went pale.

Clint nodded. "Same here. Coop's a Cap fan, Lisa likes Wanda, and Nate's too young to pick favorites, thank God." Clint stood and clapped Tony on the shoulder. "Well, tell Peter I'm flattered-"

"You're not his favorite," Natasha said. He looked at her incredulously.

"Oh what, and you are?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow and unzipped her hoodie, pulling it apart to show her t-shirt which read 'Bug Squad' with a black widow's hourglass symbol underneath.

"He got me one, too," Scott said, and it was true. Peter got the three of them matching t-shirts for Christmas, but Scott's shirt had an ant on it and Peter's had his spider logo.

"And he got me and Clint those 'Bird Squad' shirts," Sam pointed out. "Maybe the kid just likes matching t-shirts. Besides, if anyone's his favorite, it's me." That statement was met with loud dissent and Sam raised his voice over the team's objections. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said, sitting up straight and fully getting into the debate, "who stood in line with him for an hour for the latest Star Wars movie premiere, huh?"

"Not you!" Bruce interjected, putting down his book and speaking for the first time. "You were already there standing like 10 people behind him and you used him to cut the line so you wouldn't have to wait as long. If anything, I'm probably his favorite." Again, protests rose from the group. "Not the big guy," Bruce clarified, "me."

That was met with louder voices and one person calling out "Bullshit!" They were immediately chastised by no less than three people saying "Language!"

"Are you kidding?" Bruce asked, taking control of the conversation once more. "When I first met him, he spent more than an hour talking about my work with me."

"That doesn't count!" Natasha insisted. "He's the biggest nerd in the nerdiest school in the entire state, he probably thought it would count as extra credit."

And so the debate went. From Peter's spot, safe in the rafters, it seemed almost more vicious than the conflict in Germany. No punches were pulled, everything was brought to light and laid on the table for everyone to see. Peter hit the "end recording" button on his phone, even though they did not seem even close to done.

He sent the recording to the group chat he had with Ned and MJ with the attached message: "Told you I could make the Avengers fight over me. Pay up."

MJ responded first with a string of creative swears, where Ned opted for a few crying-laughing emojis.

Peter: Other highlights include:

Peter: "You dropped part of an airport on him, Cap!"

Peter: "We were fighting and he told me he liked my metal arm!" "You don't even count as an Avenger!"

Peter: "Bug Squad for life, bitch!" *Black Widow starts hitting Hawkeye with pillows*

Ned: no way she did that

Peter: She may be a little drunk.

Peter: A few of them are kind of drunk, too.

MJ: Define "kind of".

Peter: Well, no one's crying yet, so

Peter: Oh

Peter: Wait

Peter: Never mind

Peter: Tony is sobbing and wondering why it's not him

Ned: lol

MJ: Fine, you'll get your fifty bucks.

Peter: :D

MJ: It's a small price to pay for a recording of Black Widow calling you a nerd.

Peter: D:

Ned: ok but now im curious

Ned: who is ur favorite avenger

MJ: I swear, if you say yourself...

Peter: Please, is that even a question?

Peter: Have you ever SEEN Thor?

Ned: ah

MJ: That's fair.

(Get your own commissioned fic here)

[theharlequinwriter]

He’s Just like you.

Summary :  you and sam have a bad fight causing you to leave not knowing your pregnant and its a couple years later

Word count : 2,720

triggers: swearing.

“Dean wheres sam”

I stood on my tip toes looking over deans shoulder looking for my tall boyfriend sam.

“He took of with that demon bitch”

I gritted my teeth.

“Ruby”             I hated her more than anything , I knew that she was lying to us about helping dean outta going to hell but of course we couldn’t took a damn angel to save him. I hated how much sam trusted her , I feel like he would chose her over me , so I avoided the question during fights. I sat back on the couch grabbing my food from the brown bag dean had.

“You okay y/n?”

“Im fine why?”

“You seem upset lately maybe a little bitchy”

I pushed deans arm , taking a bite of my burger. We sat watching movies until at least midnight when sam finally came back in the door. Dean and I both turned now looking at sam who stood there as if he had just gotten off work.

“Where were you sam?”

“With ruby babe”

He walked by grabbing his salad pecking me on the cheek. I heard more footsteps and in walks in the demon herself ruby.

“Why the hell are you here demon bitch”

“Watch you’re tone with me hunter skank”

I walked around the couch coming face to face with ruby.

“Lets go bitch”

I pushed her back , sam came grabbing my hand leading me to the kitchen.

“What the hell y/n”

“Really sam”

“What?”

“You brought her here knowing how I feel about her”

“Shes helping me”

“I can help you sam”

“Not like she can”

“Are you sleeping with the bitch or something”

“What no”

“Then what the hell sam , why am I getting the 3rd degree here”

“Shes helping me y/n more than you or dean ever could”

“Wow sam I stayed with you even after dean went to hell ,I stayed when I found out you’re a demon blood junkie , I stayed even when she came”                                                       “No one asked you too y/n”

His hands now clenching into fist.

“I didnt ask you to stay , you did that all on your own”

“What was I gonna do sam , let you go y2k on everyone and everything?”

“I dont know y/n but it would of been easier if you just left”

“Really why so you could fuck her without feeling guilty after , oh im sorry I mean "helping” you"  

“Actually you know what y/n yes okay yes im fucking ruby ,ya happy now , wanna know why? Cause she doesnt bitch all the time , she doesnt need me to protect her , id rather her have my back at least I can depend on her”

“SAM!”

dean yelled stepping between us.

I felt my heart shatter In pieces, I felt tears forming , I didnt want him to see me cry.

I walked away still hearing him yell at dean about how ruby is better for him than me , how maybe I should just go. I went to our room grabbing everything I could , smashing pictures as I walked around the room.

“Okay  sam , hope your happy”

I walked away grabbing my bag and a little money. I gave dean a hug then I walked out the door not looking back.

I finally got to a cheap hotel where I got a single bed for the weekend. I walked inside falling onto the bed tears falling down my face. How could he say that. I took a shower , getting out my phone had a text from dean.

-hey y/n think it finally hit sam your not coming back , he might try call ya Ill let you know if he does anything stupid and dont worry about ruby ill gank her soon-

I didn’t reply i want sam to worry to realize im not going back.

Its been two months since I left, i decided I need to get a apartment in a little town where supernatural things didn’t occur.  I went into the little market buying some food and shampoo oh and pregnancy test.

I got home taking the test , it came back positive only one guy could be the father.

Sam.

I havent slept with anyone else or even looked at another guy I still loved sam.                    

*TWO YEARS LATER*

“Mommy , mommy look”

I got down on knees taking the drawing out of ethans hand.

My son ethan looks just like his father , he has his eyes and hair , his laugh , smile. He makes me miss sam everyday.

“Thats amazing baby , what is it”

Looking at the drawings it was a very tall person with a cape and what look like dogs.

“Its daddy , you said hes saving people from devil dogs , silly mommy”

I put it on the frige placing him in his seat. I gave him his lunch , he always wanted to know about sam ever since he had a play date with a kid who had both his parents. I told him sam was off saving the world from monsters like ghost and devil dogs. He always asked if his daddy was coming home or will he ever see him.

He was so smart for a child his age. After lunch I asked if he wanted to go to the park to play and feed the ducks.

We got in the car buckling ethan into his seat. When got to the park , ethan took off for the swings. I sat on a bench close enough to see but not so close I can’t see my surroundings. Im still a hunter  after all. Ethan was playing tag with some of his friends when another mom came and sat next to me.

“Hey y/n , how are you”

“Im fine susan ,how are you”

“Honestly a little shook up , some fbi agents came to the house asking about murders”

“Creepy”

“Oh my thats them”

She pointed her finger over at two men in suits , walking twords us. I brushed my hair into my face , I turned to her but she was already gone. As they got closer I could hear them banter back and forth.

“Excuse me miss may we ask you some questions”

I sat up looking up at the man who spoke.

“Hi sam”

His jaw dropped as I spoke to him , I flashed a smile , I jumped up hugging dean before reaching out offering sam a hug. He pulled me in hugging me tightly his hands rested on my lower back. I pulled away still having the smell of him fill my nose

“So what’s going on , I havent heard about any murders”

Dean spoke when sam just stood  there with a big smile across his face.

“Happend in the 80’s thinking its a wendigo who went quite”

“You guys still gotta gank it nice or not a monsters a monster right”

“Right”

Dean winked at me before sam cut in.

“So uhh whats new”

“A little this , a litte that”

I didnt tell him about ethan, I didnt need a absent father in his life Sam kept glancing at the ground then back at me.

“We ganked ruby”

“Oh im sorry ”

“Im not ,she was tricking me”

“Oh well cant trust anyone I guess”

“Ive missed you y/n”

“I miss you too sam”

His smile grew bigger.

“Maybe we can get a drink tonight and talk”

“I can’t im sorry”

“Oh you got a boyfriend or something?”

“No ”

Dean now trying to help his brother spoke now giving me his best charm.

“Why dont the three of us go get a drink and talk about getting the band back together”

“Id love to you guys but I cant”

Sam was about to protest when ethan came running from the playground.

“Mommy , mommy I caught a bug”

I picked him up sitting him on my hip.

“Let me see”

He opend his hand showing a dead cricket"

“Its dead hun”

“I know silly mommy , it was scaring lisa so I saved her , like how daddy saved you from monsters”

I kissed his cheek putting him back down , crouching down I grabbed his hand.

“Go say bye we gotta go home”

He smiled running off to say bye, I stood up sam and dean both wide eyed and speechless.  I waved my hand in front of sams face making him snap out of his trance.

“You have a a a a son?”

“Yea his names ethan”

Sam stayed speachless watching ethan run back to us.

Ethan stood by my side , gripping my pant leg tightly. Sam crouched down pulling out his fake fbi badge.

“Hi im sam”

Ethan grabbed his badge.

“Im ethan”

“Tell him your full name ethan”

ethan tucked his head into my leg before looking back at sam smiling.

“My name is Ethan Samuel Winchester”

Sams head shot up looking at me, he stood up trying to figure out what to say.                                        

“Ethan hunny dont forget your toy”

He ran back to the swings where his toy dragon sat in the sand. Sam finally spoke.

“Is he mine?”

“Yes sam , hes your son”

“When did you find out"                    

"Maybe a month and a half after I left”

“Why didnt you call?”

“Didnt think you would care”

I could see tears filling up his eyes. Ethan walked over , picking him up I gave sam and dean quick hugs before walking to my car , shaky and on the verge of tears.

*sams pov*

Dean and I just killed off the 90 year old wendigo. Dean decided we had a crazy day so the bar was the perfect place to go. We sat down at a table near the back , dean ordered 6 shots of whiskey , 3 for each , and two beers one for each. As we drank my mind kept snapping back to y/n and our son.

“Sammy?”

I snapped out of my day dream to dean cheersing me with his shot.

“So you’re a daddy sam”

“Im not a dad im just the biological father , I wasnt there for anything”

Dean downed his other two shots , so did I. He raised he hand asking for 3

More rounds. We were in the middle of our 3 or was it 5th round with jack when I finally yelled.

“Why the fuck didnt she call me dean? Ya know just be like oh hey sam im pregnant with your child just fyi or a text something”

“You told her to go sam , told her you wanted ruby , that you were cheating on her with ruby , that you wished she left , you made her feel worthless , unloved , unwanted , you were so jacked up on demon blood you didnt care when she walked out the door”

I buried my face in my hands , dean was right , it was my fault she never came back or called , I dont blame her for hiding him from me.

Dean cleared his throat.

“She clearly tells the kid about you”

I looked up at him , feeling tears build behind my eyelids.

“What?”

“She tells the kid about you I mean you didnt hear him say he saved the girl from the bug like his daddy saved her”

My heart beat hard agianst my chest. I had to see her ,tell her everything. I stood up but dean pushed me back into my seat.

“2 more rounds”

After we drank I felt the room spinning , my thoughts jumbled between y/n and ethan , and more alcohol. I walked outside feeling the cold air hit my face.

“Cas!”

I yelled when I heard the sound of wings I turned to see 3 cas’s , he spoke but I couldn’t hear him.

“T-t-t take me to y/n”

Next thing I knew I was infront of a little white house.

*y/n pov*

*BANG BANG*

I ran to the door , it was 2 am who the hell is banging at my door this late. I opened the door to find a very drunk , very sad sam.

“Sam?”

He smiled pulling me to his chest.

“Y/n!!”

I took him inside sitting him on the couch handing him a water bottle.

“Sam what are you doing here?”

“This right here ”

He patted his hands on the couch.

“Is where im meant to be”

“Sam please dont”

“Please just listen”

I sat next to him making sure we didnt touch.

“Y/n im so sorry for how I acted , for what I s s s said , ruby was a lying bitch just l l like you said. She tricked me into horrible things I never had sex with her , I never even looked at her like that , I was so junked up on demon blood that I didnt see that you were what I needed , w w what I need baby.”

I saw tears falling from his eyes now when he spoke.

“Baby you are my world , and we have a son ,  , I dont blame you for keeping him from me, but I I can’t , wont miss anymore of his life or yours , I need you back y/n , im so sorry so so so sorry”

He was now full on crying , I could tell dean had gotten him drunk so he could say how he felt. He looked back at me , his eyes blood shot and his     breath smelling of whiskey.

“He has your eyes sam”

“Really?”

“Yeah , he is just like you more and more everyday”

I felt tears falling down my face.

“Sam you can come back but you have to be here , I wont let you hurt ethan”

“I wont ever hurt eaither of you”

His hands grabbed mine pulling me to him so now I was sitting on his lap facing him. He put one of his hands on my lower back while the other rested on my cheek. He closed the gap between us his lips gently touching mine. I kissed back running my hands through his hair making the kiss deeper.

“Ive missed you so much sam”

I helped him upstairs ,letting him sleep in my bed. As I layed next to him , he wrapped his hands around my waist pulling me into his spooning me.

“Does ethan know about me?”

“Yeah he knows you and dean hunting   monsters like ghost and demons but he thinks your a superhero”

I heard his laugh as we fell asleep. I woke up before sam untangling myself from him. I walked downstairs where ethan sat watching his morning cartoons. I called him over to the kitchen sitting him in his chair I went to the frige grabbing things for pancakes.

“Mommy what’s wrong?”

Ethan looked at me smiling

“Nothing baby”

I walked away from my mixing bowl picking ethan up sitting him on my hip. Grabbing my wallet I took the picture of me sam and dean out handing it to him.

“That right there is your uncle dean , hes really brave and the tall guy thats your daddy sam he’s my hero”

Ethan smiled holding the picture, I walked into the kitchen sitting him down on the floor. I heard steps coming from upstairs.

“Ethan hun I have a surprise for you”

His head snapped up looking at me with wonder.

“What is it mommy?”

“I want you to look at that picture real close”

As he squinted his eyes , sam came down standing at the walk way into the kitchen.

“Now ethan look up”

Ethan looked up from the picture , as his eyes met sam , the biggest smile formed across his face.

“DADDY!!!”

he ran over grabbing sams legs as sam picked him up.

“Daddy your back!”

Sam hugged him tears falling down his face.  His eyes locked onto mine.

“Daddys home now ethan”

After breakfast dean came over so ethan could know his family. As sam and I did dishes his hands grabbed my hips spining me around so now I was face to face with him.

“Y/n I wanna be a family”

“We are sam”

“I wanna make it offical”

He reached into his pocket pulling out a ring.

“I know its not much but will you marry me ?”

“Yes sam oh my lord yes”

He kissed me , my hands tangled in jis hair as we parted I could hear ethan and dean.

“Ew mommy and daddy are kissing”

“I know right gross”

I smiled at sam , knowing he will always be there for ethan and I

[wayward-demons]

Game For Anything Pt. 19

Word Count: 1,552 Warnings/Notes: None, sorry its so short, and sorry for the long wait. but like... it will be worth it for the ending next chapter! (im not ready to end it :( ) Tags: @crawegirl @nea90sweetie @littlegirlsdontplaynice @queen-of-moons-peace-out-bitches @gaysmutstiel @xolyssaaa @uruburock13 @lisa-horn@jencharlan @fangirl1802 @spn-4-eva @hey-um-misha  @grumpymoonbird

((if you want to be added to the list just let me know))

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 /  Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17 / Part 18

“Sammy, we have a problem with the potion… we need Randy’s blood.” Dean said, entering your bedroom. He found you sitting on your bed with Sam facing you. his fatherly look on his face that told Dean he was being sweet, but trying to ask you a million questions on the sly.

Sam coughed, :I’ll be right back Y/N. Just stay right here.”  Sam rose, and you could feel the bed give a little from the loss of his weight. He shut the door gently behind him, pulling Dean into the hall. He didn’t say anything till they were a few steps away, knowing that you could hear him even from this far. Probably still could.

“We gotta talk about what’s going on.” Sam started. He glanced back at the door, not quite sure how far he needed to go to be out of your ear shot.

“What’s to say?” Dean shrugged Sam’s hand off his shoulder. “She’s a vampire. And we need to cure her. We have to.” His voice was deeper than usual.

Sam shook the hair out of his eyes. “I know that Dean. But-“

“Okay, but the problem with the potion, spell, whatever.” Dean interrupted him, raising a hand and walking farther down the hall. “We can’t exactly cure her without Randy’s blood. I think I still have some on my clothes, but who’s to say that’s his and not any of the others we killed. It’s kind of a long drive. It’s not like we can’ just turn tail and get some.”

Dean was rambling, and Sam was letting him. Letting him fill the air with his string of nonsense words. It wasn’t as if you couldn’t hear them, you could. But with all the other noises in the air you were trying your hardest to pick one to focus on.

You lay down. How much longer were you going to let them try and find you a cure? How long till you told them the change had already happened? How long do you wait to tell Dean it was you who had bit him?

Sam steered the car with both hands. Knuckles white as he drove quickly down the road. He was closing as much distance as he could between himself and the vampire nest they had just destroyed. He was lucky for once that they hadn’t burned the place down. That they had run out so fast there wasn’t a chance to take care of the damage like normal.

He glanced at his phone, content with the fact that it hadn’t lit up yet. If it had Dean was in trouble, and he would need to turn tail and get back as soon as he possibly could. But would it be quick enough?

Dean walked into your room, once again hesitant. “Y/N? It’s just me. Lil’ ‘Ol Dean Winchester.”

You lay in bed, in and out of sleep. “Y/N? I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve been turned before.” Dean wasn’t sure you were awake or listening. “It was scary. I remember it. I remember… the hunger.” Dean sighed. “I almost hurt…” his mind started to spin with memories. “Never mind.”

Dean sat on the edge of your bed. “I don’t know what I am doing in here. I guess I don’t want to leave you alone. Even though that’s probably the safest thing for both of us right now. Y/N…” Dean sighed. “I can’t believe this happened. We should have gone after you as soon as you left. Not sat around twiddling our thumbs.”

You tried to lay as still as you could. Your heart beating inside your chest. Dean kept talking, about nothing and yet about something. His voice was blaring in your ears until you turned over so quickly you forced yourself on top of him.

You could feel his body heat against your skin. Could hear his heart beat quickening. You licked your lips, face close to Deans. “Dean shut up.” You ordered. You lowered yourself, pressing your body harder into Dean. “Just.” You whispered. “Shut.” Your hands squeezed Deans wrist, keeping them in place. “Up.” Your tongue licked his neck, salty and sweet.

“Y/N, don’t do this.” Dean tried to free himself of your grasp, quickly remembering how strong new born vampires were. “Y/N you don’t want to do this.” He could feel his wrists starting to bruise. Could feel his skin growing sore from both him trying to escape and your squeezing.

Your new teeth started to show. They slowly poked through your gums; sharp and deadly. “Oh but I do. I want to taste you again. It was so good before.” You could barely recognize your own voice, it was deep and commanding.

Deans attempts to free himself grew stronger. Suddenly your hands gripped him so tight they went numb. You switched, raising his hands above his head, holding them with one hand. Your free one ran a finger down his jaw line. “You’re so… Yummy.” You uttered.

You pressed yourself harder on Deans lap. His face seemed confused, turned on by the fact that you were all but grinding yourself on top of him, but afraid of the new vampire wanting to suck his blood. You turned his head until his neck was exposed and ready for you. Dean’s heart couldn’t beat any faster, but for a moment you heard it skip one beat. “Stop fighting Dean. It sounds, and feels, like you like this.”

Dean stopped kicking his legs. His whole body stilling while he lay there under your command. “It’s not enjoyment. Its fear.” Dean grit his teeth together.

Dean acted so quickly you didn’t know anything had happened till you were suddenly under Dean. Now he held you down, his legs binding yours. His hands holding your wrists. His body still close, closer than ever before.

“You don’t want to do this Y/N. This is just the vampire in you talking. Not you. You’re still Y/N, you’re still you. Don’t forget that.” Dean looked scared. Dean looked worried. Dean looked like he cared. You’d never seen this look. Dean always looked so calm, collected, and stern. Never so weak before.

You were entranced by Dean, not even bothering to fight as you lay under him. Your ‘human’ brain kicked in. Dean was on top of you. Deans chest was pressing into yours. You were on top of Dean. You could feel Dean. For the first time in a day you had forgot about being a vamp and suddenly were overwhelmed by the fact that a boy, Dean Winchester, was on top of you.

“D-Dean.” You croaked, trying to cower under him. “Dean.”

It took a moment for Dean to realize what it was you were suddenly nervous about. “Sorry Y/N, I- I didn’t mean to-“ Dean stammered, letting himself rise a bit so he wasn’t touching you so much. He was just hovering over you. His body still warm. And for a second time you could hear it skip a beat.

“I’m sorry Dean. I don’t know what’s going on with me. I just…” Tears started to pour out of your eyes until your vision blurred. You could barely breath, choking every time you tried to inhale. “I just-“

“It’s alright.” Dean climbed off you, rising you so you were sitting up at his side. He held you close and rocked you back and forth. “You’re going to be alright. Sam is out getting the blood we need for the spell.” Dean stopped.

The spell. The spell to stop vampirism in its tracks. It needed a bitten, the biters blood, and you not to of fed on someone. Dean let that sink it. You not to have fed before. “Y/N, did you- is this from you?” He pointed to the bite mark on his arm. The red and puffy scabs that have been picked off thanks to his boredom and nervousness.

You gulped. “Randy bit you, and forced me to drink it. Dean I didn’t mean too. It wasn’t what I wanted.” You tried to argue, but Dean was already on his feet and a few steps away from you.

He drug his hand over his mouth and let that sink it. You’d tasted him, you’d had his blood. You were an actual vampire now. “It makes since I guess. I mean, normally your eyes… and the-“ Dean sighed. He wasn’t willing to admit it fully. He still wanted to hope, to pray even, that you were still not a full-on vamp. That the spell would still work on you. But suddenly he was nervous, suddenly he wasn’t so sure on what the next plan of action should be.

Sam walked up to the house slowly, blade at the ready in case he found another stray vampire here waiting for him. The house was grand, rooms on both sides of him for what seemed like ages. He tried to remember which room you were in. Tried to remember where he had found you hovering over Dean’s body. And then he hesitated.

He found the room. Randy’s head cut off with fly’s buzzing around it. Sam scrunched his face before stepping foot into the room. He pulled out a syringe and tapped into the source itself until it was full.

[sunlightbi]

hi guys !! i promise i’ll do a proper follow forever later in 2018 when we survive 2017 but today i want to give a shout out to some amazing people whom i’m very proud to call my friends and best friends. all of my mutuals are extremely special but these ones mean the whole world to me as we always talk and laugh together and i’m pretty sure i’d die for every single one of them. i hold each one of you very close to my heart :’) so here’s a list of people that make me smile every day and also make my world brighter and my dash a better place !! (1. idk how long it takes im sorry i lov y’all 2. also idk why i have this summer pic as my header but happy new year i guess)

i’ll start with the most important person for on this website @alloutshirt. lisa, you’re truly my soulmate and i can’t even imagine my life without you now. you always make my happy by just liking random posts on my blog or tagging me in pure stuff. i just want you to know that i’d do anything for you, i care about you so so much and i don’t think i’ll ever stop. i hope you’ll always be happy because you’re too precious and incredible and you have my whole heart. i love you to the moon and back, baby :’) YOU’RE ALSO THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD DON’T FORGET THAT

@twofronteeth amal even tho you never check ur activity page and have a face like a goddess (no kidding im crying every time i see your selfies) somehow we are mutuals and friends, i still don’t know why the fuck you noticed me but that was the best day of my life. please please never change, you’re literally the cutest person i know and your spelling mistakes make you even cuter !! just the way you talk to ppl makes you cute idk how you do that. you truly deserved your nickname ‘baby honey’ and i’m very proud to call you that i love you

of course i can’t even imagine myself without Pure Squad even tho it exists like 3 minutes but !!!! these people are already so important to me that i cry every time we interact

@spaceboysweater arsh i swear i couldn’t love you more because you’re one of the purest people on this website. and ur laugh !!!!! oh my god this is the best thing i’ve ever heard i need it as my ringtone. i will love you forever, you always make me smile and i wanna hug you so tight !!!!!!!!!

@babieharrie ahhh karri you’re just the most adorable person ever and i love you so so so so much. we almost made it !!! almost started a gc aksjfgffkj. you are incredibly lovely and you have a special place in my heart even tho you hate cats which i still can’t believe oh my god

@rainbowsboa 1) where the fuck are you i miss you 2) i’ve never seen a blog with more posts than yours i swear i need hours to scroll through it. but bella you’re my sunshine and you always bring me happiness, i really enjoy talking to you and omg i just love you so much i’m sorry i’m crying

@bibi-harry becca i can’t even put into words how much you mean to me !!!!!! i appreciate it so much when you come to talk to me because you’re sad or feel alone. i’m really glad i can help because you’re too amazing and flawless to be sad ever. i just hope you’ll have the best 2018, i love you with my whole heart cupcake !!

@haryslytherin eleanor baby it feels like i’ve known you for ages, you’re such an incredible person even tho your blog is a mess aklsjkdh. i love talking to you, you’re a pure bean. please make more 1d edits in 2018 that’s a need for me !! your art is wonderful just as you :) also i hope in 2018 you won’t change your icon every day

@fireprooof le !!!! just as you said i can’t imagine my tumblr experience without you too (tbh that message made me cry i love you so much). you were one of my first larry mutuals actually and i’ll never forget how excited i was that day. and i was extremely happy when you messaged me and said you miss my likes !! that was iconique. your edits give me life, i’ve never seen anything more beautiful, i just want to make a whole sideblog to reblog everything you make.  hope you’ll have an amazing 2018, i love you endlessly :’)

@louieh ghadeer aka the most iconic fanfic writer i know ;);)));)) i know this had been a tough year for you but i hope 2018 will be much better !!! you deserve the best only, i love you so so much and appreciate you more than you could imagine. i wanna give you the world and the stars and the moon and everything pure in the universe !!!!! i just hope everything will be okay darling :)

@stylesappreciation flo even tho you forgot about me i’m still here like hachi bc i love you very much a lot. anyways !!! skldjdfbhdskl you’re one of the most iconic people i know and your edits make my heart melt, i cry every time you post something new. we don’t talk as much as we used to which is sad but that’s okay, i’d sill give you my liver and everything you want. hope 2018 will treat you well baby :) ( @nosuchblue take care of her !!! i love u too erin and wish you all the best in 2018)

@liamsgrammys and @blushlouie you just go together and i can’t tell you apart. we actually don’t talk but you two are the most iconic gays ever and i’m so glad to witness ur gay relationship and reblog ur gay selfies and cry my gay tears !!!! i hope 2018 will be amazing for you, i love you two so so much, this gay experience is very important for me

@rosesau syeda aka ome of the most popular binches ever. i’m shook that like everybody knows you??? wtf??? how you do that honestly. you’re truly iconique and i’m pretty sure you make everyone’s tumblr experience much better. your text posts are my favourite thing ever and i just love you so incredibly much !!!! have the best 2018 biatch

@honeyhaz jackie !!!! the most precious flower in the land, i adore you so much. i really really really love talking to you, you’re the loveliest person ever, i hope you’ll have a lot of friends in 2018 !! you deserve only pure things darling. you make my heart burst with love every time you appear on my dash and i would just like to clarify that i love you to the moon and back :’)

@iconichalo well your url just speaks for itself so !!! i only wanted to say that alex you’re really an amazing person and i’m hella glad that we met thanks to gorgeous people we both talk to. i hope in 2018 we’ll become closer because i really like you !!! wish you the best stuff in new year darling :)

@ann-fortunately maybe i’d love you more if you stopped exposing me !!!!! alsjddgdgdkdj nevermind i actually love you very much a lot, you’re a pure puppy and i just wish 2018 treats you really well. all the love my dear !!! (also pls make more edits)

@dreamsmp3 eden baby idk when you’ll see this but i just want you to know that it’s not the same without you here, you’re incredible and i hope you’re taking care of yourself !!!!! i’m still thinking about that post i made when i just saw you on my dash and i oliterally became so overwhelmed that wrote big ass paragraph about how much i love you on the verge of tears and tbh this is Mood. you make everything better and brighter and i just want to wish you the best things in 2018, you deserve the whole world my love :’)

@lwtrainbows gio !!!! i’m so happy that i’m friends with arsh’s soulmate aldjfhfgjn you are just wonderful !!! i hope you won’t ever be sad, you need to always smile and laugh because the world needs more of this. you are one of the purest people ever and i just want to wrap you in a big blanket and give you forehead kisses. i wish 2018 treats you well sunshine !!!!

@alwaysycu well rhian you’re just an angel (my-my-my-my only angeeeel) that deserves better, always better. you make my heart go ‘!!!!’ when we talk and you’re just so nice and sweet always. i hope you’ll never be sad in 2018, it just goes against nature tbh. you were created to spread love and light so i hope next year will be the happiest for you :) i love you very much a lot

@iamlouis oh damn sarah !!! (this is just The Mood always with you) you’re a popular bitch and i’m still wondering why we are mutuals because your cool ass is too cool for me. everything you do is iconic and i’m tired bc you’re too good and pure wtf !! but i wish you become iconicer in 2018 because why not we all deserve some glow up i lov u

@delicatelou pinja you’re the softest person i know !!!! like literally. everything about you and your blog is so aesthetic and beautiful and just perfect??? h o w. i’m friends with a literal angel what the heck !! hope 2018 treats you well, you deserve the best only my pure baby. i’ll love you til the end of time darling, you’re amazing :’)

@ftdtlouis @lesbianhoran @larriez @definegirlfriends i’m only mentioning you because you broke my heart to pieces !!! but it’s new year so i gotts forgive you so you could dissappoint me in 2018 with something new. ALSMJDHNDG JOKES I LOVE Y’ALL EVEN THO I WAS HELLA SCARED YESTERDAY i just want all my mutuals to be happy and fine. is that too much to ask?.. anyways i wish you all the best i hope the nest time this shit happens i won’t be online bye

@rainbowstyles sabine i wouldn’t ever forget about you !!! you’re the sweetest creature ever, so so pure and lovely that you melt my heart. you deserve lots of love and happiness and laugh in 2018 and always. i hope you won’t ever be sad even tho it’s impossible but you are meant to be a sunshine !! i love you so so much, please don’t forget that :)

@poshlouis and @louari you two are iconic bitches and i couldn’t love you more. amanda thank you for always being nice to me and aline ,,, just thank you. you are a dream team and i love seeing you two interact on my dash !!!! hope you’ll have the best 2018, i love you two very much a lot

i hope all of my amazing mutuals will have the best 2018, you darlings mean so so much to me, i love you with all my heart !

[zigsexual]

Oh since you like makeup can I ask you know, tips? I'm started to like makeup literally one year ago but I'm still not that good at it because I just discovered this world lol I luv ur blog btw, u a true bitch

yes omg!! thank u sis wow im so sorry im replying to this ten years after u sent it 💕 tryin not to half ass my life lmao

i think my biggest tip for makeup would be that u dont have to spend a lot of money to get good products. starting at the drugstore is best and u can easily get a full face of makeup there that rivals high-end quality. u really just learn by doing and by watching others, so i’ll share some of my best makeup resources here since they have more to offer u than i do:

temptalia - the bible of makeup truly, this bich is doin the lord’s work out here she has a foundation match matrix, a dupe guide for literally anything ever, and the most thorough reviews on products u will ever see

stephanie nicole - she works in the beauty industry and does incredibly thorough reviews of all products, complete with full cost breakdowns andexcel spreadsheets n shit like this girl is a great place to start if u wantscience-based info on beauty and skincare with no frills

samantha ravndahl - sam is so great she has incredible skill with makeup and reallytakes the time to teach her techniques and talk through products/tools she usesand why, additionally she’s funny as fuck and doesn’t buy into popular productbullshit so u can trust her to shoot straight

emily noel - emily is a sweetheart who never does sponsored videos and isgenuinely so positive and kind and warmhearted i truly do not have enough goodthings to say about her, she does incredible reviews and rly values drugstoreproducts for what they can accomplish

karima mckimmie - karima is an incredible teacher, shes very gifted and takesthe time to go through her techniques and really show u whats up,, additionallyher video quality is sleek and calming and i love listening to her talk lol

mariah leonard - i love everything about this gal she’s so chill andsoothing and does videos that other youtubers aren’t doing, she knows her shitand rly experiments with colors so if ur looking for that she is a greatteacher for how to make colors wearable, additionally she has celiac so all hermakeup is gluten-free if that’s something u need!!

chrisspy - a real down bitch with INCREDIBLE talent like just watch oneof her transformation videos u will die i s2g but additionally a good teacherre: blending, basic eye techniques, etc.

lisa eldridge - lisa is the OG, she actually is a celebrity makeup artist and she will show u how she did cover looks for vogue and vanity fair n shitlike she is a godsend and a real fuckin talent,, shes not a beauty guru she isthe real deal so if u wanna know how a celebrity does their makeup then lisaprobably is the one who did it and she will show u with her nice soothingbritish voice (she also has super cool videos on makeup history if ur a geeklike me)

i hope that’s helpful for u! makeup is so much fun so just do u and dont think u need to wear a ton of product if u dont want to, just feel out what works for u and do research online and soon it will be second nature ✨

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Dean, Not Sam

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam

Word Count: 1,597

Warnings: Jealous!Dean and we all know how he can get then fluffy!dean

Request: Heyyy can u do a Dean x Reader where Sam and the reader are best friends and have a lot in common and Dean feels like shes gonna leave him for Sam but the reader reasures him that she's not

Author’s Note: If you want to be tagged, leave an ask or message and I’ll add you! Same goes for my Series Rewrite! If you want to request a fic, please send them in! I love writing what you guys want!

Feedback is always appreciated

Tags at the bottom

Living with the Winchesters was always an adventure. Each day was open to something new happening but you wouldn’t trade this life for any others you might have dreamed of in the past. You were dating the hottest and you were best friends with the tallest.

Your life was good and you were happy with how things were going. You just started dating Dean a few months ago even though you’ve been flirting for a lot longer than that. You were friends with both Winchesters a lot longer before you moved in with them.

You met them when you three were on the same case. You were posed as the reporter, trying to dish out whatever you could for the case and Sam and Dean were the very attractive FBI men who took over when they came into town.

But you didn’t let that happen since you got there first so this was your case. One accident later, Sam and Dean were exposed as hunters to you, thanks to your clumsy ass. But everything worked out in the end because with the brothers, you clicked instantly with them.

Of course, Dean hit on you from the very start, not that you minded since you liked him a lot more than his brother (in that way). You were supposed to be Dean’s one night stand but after you had mind blowing sex with him, you started snooping while he was in the shower. You found his father’s journal and you couldn’t help yourself.

You had to read it.

You must have gotten too invested in it because you didn’t even hear Dean get out of the shower until you heard him clear his throat. You tried explaining that you weren’t trying to snoop but you saw this and you couldn’t help yourself.

Before he could say anything, you started talking about all the monsters you came across and he started to accept you into his lives because at that point, he knew you were going anywhere.

A few years later, you moved in the Bunker with them, happier than you ever have been. You had everything you could ever need: a sexy boyfriend, an amazing best friend and a whole library filled with lore books.

Lore was one of your favorite subjects to read, even before you were a hunter. That is why you accepted the hunter’s life so easily after your parents were injured due to a vampire. Luckily no one got turned and they now live happy lives, putting that whole incident behind them.

You, on the other hand, stayed in the life after killing the vampires because you knew what was out there. What you knew back then was nothing compared to what you knew now. You were always learning about new monsters and what was out there.

Which is what you were doing now with Sam.

“I know a lot about Lore but this is one book I haven’t read and judging by its cover, there are new monsters in here both of us might not know of.” Sam said, grabbing the book before sitting next to you in the library.

“That’s awesome. I can’t wait to read it with you.” You said with a smile, sipping your water. You barely got into the book when you heard Dean’s footsteps enter the library.

“Hey, Y/N, want to help me work on my car? The parts I ordered for her came in. Let me save you while I can.” Dean laughed, joking about you reading with Sam.

“Uh, no thank you. Sam and I are just getting into this book. Plus, you know I find working on cars boring. That’s your thing, not mine.” You said, missing the look he gave you. Dean noticed how close you and Sam were sitting, smiling as you both read the same book.

He knew that you were your own person and you had your own likes and dislikes but Dean felt you had a lot more in common with his brother than himself. He liked you a lot and he hasn’t felt things like this about a woman since Lisa left his life so he thought you were pretty special to begin with.

But maybe you were meant to be with Sam and not him.

“Oh, okay, I’ll just be out there, I guess.” Dean said, looking at you.

“Have fun.” You said without looking at him. He sighed and kicked the ground before leaving to his car. He hated feeling this way and this was one of the reasons he didn’t get involved with women like this. They always chose Sam when they wanted a deep relationship.

Dean wasn’t meant for relationships like that.

A few days later, you were in your bedroom, getting some cookbooks you had stored there. Cooking was a hobby you had and now that you had a huge ass kitchen, you were going to use that hobby more often.

“Hey, want to go for a drive? Sam is going to be in the kitchen all day working on his food schedule.” Dean said, knocking on your door. The reason you had your own room was because you liked to have your own space that was just for you. You spent most, if not all nights in Dean’s bed but it was nice to have something of your own.

“Yeah, I know, I’m actually going to help him with that. He seemed to like that I had some cookbooks in here.” You said with a smile, again, missing the look on his face.

“You know, if he is holding you against your will, tell me and I’ll whisk you away.” Dean said, chuckling nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Dean, don’t be silly. I like doing these things. How about we go for a drive later on?” You asked, kissing his cheek before leaving your room to where Sam was.

Was Dean doing something wrong? Was it his fault you liked Sam more than him?

The next night, Sam was out and you were bored. You tried finding Dean but he wasn’t in his room or the kitchen, the library and the war room were empty too.

“Dean?” You called out, walking around the Bunker looking for the wan you wanted to spend time with. You know you’ve been spending a lot of time with Sam lately and you missed Dean. As you passed the entrance to the garage, you heard clanging come from inside.

You opened the door and walked inside, not seeing anything but hearing the clanging sound again. But now that you were closer to it, it sounded like it was a ball bouncing off the wall or something. You walked around the garage, coming to the Impala.

You walked around to the other side and frowned when you saw Dean sitting on the floor with his back to the car, throwing a ball to the wall, catching it when it bounced back to him. He had a few beers near him as well, one of them being empty.

“Dean? Wat are you doing out here?” You asked, sitting next to him.

“Where is Sam?” He asked, ignoring your question.

“Out. He went to one of those film things that were showing a French film.”

“Why didn’t you go with him?”

“You know I don’t like those kinds of movies,” You said, finally noticing the look he had on his face. You noticed he wasn’t happy. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you want me to be more interested in books? Do you want me to eat healthier? Do you want me to grow out my hair so it can flow in the wind?” Dean asked, making no sense to you at all.

“Dean, sweetie, what are you talking about?” You asked. He set the ball down and turned to you with hurt flashing in his eyes.

“Do you like Sam more than me?” He’d figure the band-aid would be better ripped off.

“What? No, I like you. Why would you think I like Sam more?” You asked, oblivious to your actions throughout the week.

“You’re spending time with him with your book reading and your food scheduling. Do you want me to be more like Sam?” He asked.

“No, Dean. I like you just the way you are. I’m sorry you are feeling this way but I don’t like Sam. I like Dean. A lot. Like, a lot, a lot.” You said, putting your hand on his cheek. He leaned into your touch and you smiled, getting up.

“Where are you going?” He asked, missing your warm touch.

“Come on, I’m going to show you just how much I like you more. I may even love you.” You said with a smile, holding your hand out. He grabbed it and used it to aid him in getting on his feet.

“Wait, love? You love me?” He asked with a small smile.

“I said I may love you. May. We’ll see.” You giggled, walking with him back inside the Bunker.

“Okay, okay, before we go any further, I have a question.” Dean said, stopping you. He got in front of you and look at you with a serious face.

“What is it?”

“I can grow my hair out, right?”

“You’re such a dork.” You smiled, taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom. You loved this man whether you knew it or not and despite Sam being your best friend, Dean was the better man and you were going to spend all night proving that to him.

Forever tags:

@im-not-an-angel-of-the-lord @maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes  @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose @cobrakai1967 @essie1876 @innernightwerewolf @wishedworld @justanotherdeangirl @crispychrissy @laqueus-ludovicus @nostalgic-uncertainty @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @potterhead1265 @starswirlblitz

Dean tags:

@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @winchesterandpie @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @spn-applepie-imagines @tahbehonest

Other tags:

@notnaturalanahi @27bmm @thing-you-do-with-that-thing