#link is also autistic but thats a given

[waywardsalt]

I collected my current Phantom Hourglass oneshots into a series! The amount of organization you can do on ao3 is cool. Anyways, they’re all in one spot now and any future oneshots will most likely be added to this series.

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[postal-ech]

Fellas, I have been listening to a shit ton of remixes on the Prime Trilogy and once more I need to let loose my autism unto this hellsite

I fucking love Dark Samus

I really fucking love Dark Samus

I don't know if any of you know this, but I FUCKING LOVE Dark Samus, like she is my top Metroid Antagonists, topping even the SA-X or Raven Beak (Raven Beak is genuinely on top but I'll get to him in another post) or Ridley and others.

Why?

Well that's what this post is about

So who the fuck is Dark Samus? Or really, WHAT IS Dark Samus??

(Source is from the Metroid Wiki channel on Youtube. I use the original version instead of the remastered because the lighting in the remastered version of this cutscene is a bit fucked despite the better-detailed models. You can see the eye on the palm much more clearly as its pupil dilates to adjust to the lighting of the room. look I'm an autist for these details, I want you all to see them in all their glory as much as I have growing up)

DARK SAMUS My beloved

Dark Samus is more or less part of the "dark doppelganger" troupe in nintendo games, with the important caveat that unlike other such doppelgangers like Dark Link or Dark Kirby from the Magical Mirror games, Dark Samus' originated from the destroyed remains of the METROID PRIME, the final boss of the first game in the Prime Trilogy.

After Samus murders the shit out of the Metroid Prime, it manages to steal the Phazon Suit she used to get into the Impact Crater, which by extension also contained the DNA of Samus. With this, this ressurection of the Metroid Prime, reconstructed using this Phazon Suit and the DNA it acquired became what we know today: Dark Samus, a Metroid Hybrid - the first of its kind, long before Samus would eventually have Metroid DNA spliced into her during the opening events of Fusion.

(Dark Samus' final concept art, found in the Metroid Prime 2 concept gallary)

Dark Samus' design in prime 2 is something I adore to the utmost extreme. Its this wholly-organic Varia-adjacent suit with exposed, dark blue musculature. She has a clawed hand, feett, and an arm cannon too and its visor isn't just a visor but is entirely integrated into her body. In essence, She isn't just a living suit, She has used the Varia Suit as a basis to reconstruct her ENTIRE god damn body, right down to the arm cannon and the pauldrons and the visor too. THIS IS HER ZERO SUIT! So if anyone comes up to you and shows you a picture of Emo Zero Suit Samus and calling it Zero Suit Dark Samus, know that that is FAKE and WRONG and ENTIRELY INACCURATE to the ELDRITCH HORROR MADE REALITY.

Its a shame that the Gamecube wasn't really that powerful enough to truly show off just how organic this Dark Samus design was, especially given the pauldrons have these scrolling phazon textures poking out of the holes in her pauldrons that could really do well with an up-ressing of her model. Hopefully the remaster does this justice. Her morphball form, too, deserves an equal amount of justice given the concept art that exists of it

(Source is again from the concept art of MP2. VERY SPOOKY.)

Anyways, Dark Samus comes equipped with her own arsenal too, uniquely her own with a few exceptions, such as a Phazon Scatterbeam, a thin phazon laser thats almost akin to a more focused hyper beam that Raven Beak uses, an energy shield much akin to the phazon suit she used to reconstruct herself, alongside a ramming attack that's kinda akin to her own shinespark or screw attack (prime style of course), and the obvious Super Missiles and Boost Ball that she has in her first and second encounter. Eventually she'll even gain a Cloaking Field that can only be detected via the Dark Visor or the Echo Visor, and eventually super charging herself to even throw out pure phazon at Samus in her third and final fight.

There was a cut bad ending to Dark Samus' fight where she would have stolen the Light Suit from Samus (to reflect the time she had stolen the Phazon Suit in MP1) and gone off to let Aether get destroyed and

Jesus Christ, I love it.

You can see how it takes direct inspiration from the Metroid Prime as well, given her head and pauldrons have those spikes alongside the red and orange highlights on her armor, but it ALSO has a sort of luminoth inspiration to it too. It has a metallic, shelled sheen to it with two-pronged feet, a sort of completed hand and her arm cannon looking less round and more reminiscent of her Prime 3 design. It would EVENTUALLY see the light of day as inspiration for her overall Metroid Prime 3 design, but I still wish I could model it and bring it to life for other Metroid Fans to use.

In Prime 3, her design is switched again to something more akin to a shelled crab. ...now the Wii's graphics aren't... ENTIRELY REPRESENTATIVE of her design...

It's...not BAD, but you can't really tell if its organic or metallic in nature.

Smash Ultimate does this design justice at the very least. You can tell its more chitinous in nature compared to Prime 3's low-res renders

This has her having a more traditional suit design compared to Prime 2, and while the latter's design will always be my all-time favorite, this one is great too.

In Prime 3 her arsenal is expanded too, as she can control the Phazon on Phaaze to create pillars of the stuff for cover, split herself into multiple copies that act semi-independently of her (dubbed Echoes, funnily enough), She is by all means and purposes - a fucking POWERHOUSE of a creature in her own right.

Eventually she is "permanently" killed off in Prime 3, as confirmed by the director Kensuke Tanabe, but I still have hope that maybe one day she could return later on in the metroid timeline, because god dammit. She was THE ONLY other metroid hybrid in the franchise, right there with Samus as of now. Samus is honestly more closely related to Dark Samus now than she ever has been in the franchise, save for the Phazon mutagen Dark Samus had consisted of.

Hell, there's even a bit of a character arc with her where she started off as the Metroid Prime - this solely monstrous, instinctual creature mindlessly consuming Phazon and assimilating weaponry onto itself, before reconstructing itself as Dark Samus proper - still instinctual in a sense, but with a growing intelligence that really shines in the climax of the trilogy with Prime 3 - leading entire raids against the Federation with Space Pirates and showing a sense of companionship with the other metroids/phastroids she interacted with whiles showing how cruel she could be towards the surviving feddies of the Valhalla.

It's so much so that ever since Dread dropped its been a dream of mine to realize a climatic battle between Metroids.

THE LAST METROID VS THE PRIME METROID

If you will.

GOD, I fucking love Dark Samus. She honestly stacks so high up even against the X as my other favorite metroid antagonist that I wish more was done with her before the eventual climatic ending with Prime 3. I hope this was enough to also gain your interest in this fascinating mutant metroid made humanoid.

Next up on the list, the Chozo - including Grey Voice, Old Bird, Raven Beak and Quiet Robe of course.

[sidebaxolotl]

Do you know of any good resources for dealing with gender dysphoria from a side B or Y Christian angle (i.e., not affirming sin or encouraging transition?) It's not huge in my life but sometimes it comes up and I wish I had more advice for dealing with it. A lot of the stuff I find is unhelpful because it's just plainly restating the rules with how Christianity doesn't condone gender ideology with no practical advice, is in that "how to talk to your friend who has this issue" pov, or just kinda goes "lol pray about it idk". I 100% know and stand by that biological sex is biological sex and don't think it's possible to change to the opposite sex, nor do I really want to... so it's not a matter of needing to persuade me, but it doesn't change that I still have feelings of stress and of not really living up to or fitting in with womanhood. When I'm around other women it can be really difficult because I feel so profoundly different when we should be similar. TIA

Sorry this took so long, I took the time to talk to a couple of people who had dysphoria in the past and some who didn't to get some insight.

Both the people I had talked to who had it had cited porn as a major reason why they developed it in the first place so if thats not ur experience then maybe this wont be as helpful for you 😅

They did bring up a good point that assessing where you think your dysphoria comes from from a psychiatric standpoint could help you figure out how to deal with it and i was given this link:

https://oncurrentevents.substack.com/on-gender-transition-and-psychiatric-disorders

Like for example it was pointed out to me that gd presents a lot like body dysmorphia (specifically, like eating disorders and stuff) so u might be able to use whatever coping mechanisms are used for that to help. It also seems to be a prevalent phenomenon in autistic and adhd individuals so perhaps addressing those things if you have them would help.

I was also linked to this book, the friend in question had remarked that it had helped a lot of the women he knew:

https://a.co/d/6DNWdA2

The guy I talked to said therapy had helped him as well as support from God/ his family but finding non affirming therapists that have a nuanced view on things is extremely difficult, esp if you want a Christian one. Him and I were extremely lucky in that way.

The one woman i spoke to said she quit porn and sobered off gd feelings once she realized transitioning wouldnt truly make her a boy.

I did want to be a boy when i was really young but im not super sure that counts? Idk.

For me what helped was realizing a lot of what made me not want to be a girl at that time was just a reaction to stereotypical gender roles and sexism towards women. Once i started challenging those perceptions and the ways my brain was affirming them i became way more comfortable in my body.

I also had a similar realization as sibling that I'd never truly be able to be a boy if i tried to alter my body. I could wear blue and be the night in shining armor and be a hero and still be a woman, yknow?

Also a lot of it was me being very gay and not realizing it lmaooo

I can def relate to not really fitting in with women--particularly in Christian settings I'm typically the only one who isnt hyperfemme and it can be a bit alienating.

Realizing i wasn't straight kinda helped too since the lesbian perception of womanhood is a lot more fluid than its straight counterpart. Not saying to "go gay" if you aren't but maybe looking into butch and gnc communities and framing your self-perception in that way might help?

If there are any other side b dysphoric folks reading this feel free to chime in with your own tips/resources in dealing with this stuff please!!

[sickknotdoom]

Someone should tell Eve that squeak doesn't get to decide how we feel about squeak's characters.

REAL. this is definitely gonna set some people off, but the whole "cuddles is the only real villain in the entire story and all the other staff are actually innocent" narrative is bullshit. nearly everyone that works at that hospital tortures and permanently detriments innocent lives if not ending them entirely in brutal ways, and were supposed to just forgive every single one just because "theyre being forced to do so"?

also, the "one true villain" being the only cishet and likely only neurotypical in the comic really rubs me the wrong way. apparently the reason sparklecare even got rebooted was because kneeby thought having evil characters also be queer was "bad representation". i am not a fan of the "queer people can do no wrong" approach. as someone whos gay and under the trans umbrella, id like to point you towards dahmer and chris chan.

jeffrey dahmer was a gay man who cannibalized other gay men. christine chandler is a transgender woman who committed incest. those traits are not mutually exclusive in the real world. they are taken simultaneously, unrelated to eachother unless you go out of your way to relate them. and i think its safe to say that nobody would try and link dahmers sexuality with his actions unless theyre homophobic.

just because one figure within a minority is fucked up, does not mean the rest of the minority is fucked up by association. if that was the case, then id be associated with edp445 and h/tler due to the fact im black and suffer from autism. but thats not the case at all, so why are the clowns so afraid of letting queer characters be antagonists, or vice versa?

all the nurses are treated like theyre completely innocent just because of their identities and/or them being possibly coded as neurodivergent. it seriously comes across as infantilizing queer and/or autistic people, which as someone whos both, i do not like. especially nurse puppy. i do not like the way puppy is written.

puppy is, in my opinion, the most explicitly autistic coded character in the comic (not including characters that are confirmed to be). lo is also the most babied by both the clowns and the fandom. loves whole premise is that cuddles brainwashed lov into seeing loves job (murdering and torturing innocent civilians) as a fun game. lo is canonically 30 years old, by the way.

speaking from experience, us autists are relatively easy to take advantage of when were younger, due to our difficulty grasping social cues. ive been taken advantage of by so many people in just fourteen years of being on this earth. ive been groomed, sextorted by someone who i saught out comfort from after said grooming, painted as a predator by the very person who sextorted me, and then propped by my only remaining "friend" group who would bring all that shit up just to milk my reaction and use it to further damage my reputation.

almost all these people were also queer and autistic, and coincidentally also liked sparklecare, my sextorter being the one who initially got me into it, since he had a uni pfp one time. theyre also victims of similar shit themselves. does that mean all queers/autists/sparklecare fans/abuse victims are like them? no. but does being any of those things excuse the torment they put me through? no the fuck it does not. you cannot give me the excuse of them "not knowing" or being "brainwashed", theyre all at least two years older than me, some being legal adults as im writing. you cannot convince me they didnt intend to fuck me up.

so it reasonably infuriates me to see a Grown Ass 30 Year Old Adult That Murders People For Fun And Listens To Them Scream In Misery With A Smile On Loves Face given the excuse of "lo doesnt know!!!! blame cuddles not lov!!!!" and the fandom just not questioning that at all. imagine watching your lover or best friend get murdered by someone breaking into their house and chucking a toaster into their bath while theyre taking a shower, and the cops* tell you to sue the manufacturers of the toaster. see how fucked that logic is? thats basically sparklecare.

*not like you should trust american cops but i needed an example ok

one of these people i described earlier happens to kin puppy, what a surprise. maybe im just projecting, but the most explicitly autistic coded character (also the only character so far that uses neopronouns/identifies as a xenogender) being treated this way is revolting to say the least, and i feel like lo is made immune to criticism by the clowns because lo just so happens to be those things. if this character werent queer, they would give no chances.* i will gladly allow puppy to exist as is, same personality, everything, i dont mind. its the constant infantilization and justification of loves abhorrent actions that upsets me.

*and this applies to all the other nurses in the comic, except maybe nurse snare since shes practically nonexistant after volume one. but in volume one we are shown barry being tortured and injured by, as far as i can tell, every nurse thats been introduced so far. barry, one of the fandoms most beloved characters, is put through excruciating pain and trauma on screen (with a million trigger warnings before each page, in typical clowns fashion) and nobody gives a fuck once its over, just because everyones queer except cuddles, and cuddles is the Only One To Blame For Anything At All Times.

the cycle of abuse is extremely common. an abuser being a victim does not cancel out them being an abuser, and if theyre not actively seeking help theyre a bad person, regardless of what minorities they belong to. but that does not mean everybody within that minority is a bad person. sparklecares creators and fandom cant seem to grasp that. kneeby cannot erase my opinions on the way the staff is portrayed.

[simptasia]

What are some of your favourite lost theories? Like you said once, Jack could be the smoke monster, and I went and looked it up, and you did convert me holy shit makes sense so I'd love to hear what other theories you believe/really like

oooh, fun! thank you!

let's see here... here are some theories i've fond of

you already mentioned it but jack turning into a smoke creature post-finale. because like, yeah, his death is very fucking similar to what happened to turn smokey into... smokey

david shephard being david austen-littleton when he was alive. the theory that when kate and jack banged before coming back to the island, they conceived a baby. they had a son which kate and claire then raise. along with aaron (making aaron and david brother-cousins!). the limbo world just repurposed david's parentage for the sake of symbolism and stuff, since jack and juliet were a couple in that world. okay so, in limboverse, i believe jack and juliet were made a couple, who then divorced, because in real life they were divorcees but it was like, bad soul crushing divorces. in limbo world, the universe saw fit to be like "what if divorced but amicably? as a treat?" so yeah. and david was given to them to fit that narrative. that and it came across like juliet longed to be a mother in real life but it never happened. so yeah, the universe did some shuffling of david for emotional reasons. but in real life, kate was his bio mom. what helps this is that david is a mini-jack so either one of them could be mama kjhfsjhk. also also! the amount of time between jack and kate banging and the finale? two weeks. thats not enough time to even notice a missed period yet let alone know you're pregnant. so she's in for a surprise when she gets home. i love this because it's like beautiful and angsty. oh, as a side note, evie lilly was actually pregnant in season 6 so her noticeable bloating/pudging up is only helping me!

on this note, the theory that juliet was pregnant when she died. i know it's fucked up but it makes sense. i'm basing this on that one scene where bernard offers her tea with a knowing look on his face and juliet has her hand on her stomach. listen, in media language, a woman resting her hand on her tummy = pregnant

daniel was the one who programmed the looking glass code to be good vibrations. they said a musician did it and he was in dharma. it's not that deep, it's a natural leap to make

i've very fond of the idea that richard is daniel's real biological dad. i have done an essay on this, heres a link. this could never be the case in-universe or at least i wouldn't want it to be because jeremy davies is hella white. buuut in the version of lost in my head? i hold fast to it like it's a fact

it's so hard to reconcile the way eloise is in "flashes before your eyes" and the rest of the show, like they may as well be different characters. so to mildly patch this up, i imagine eloise is one of the people in lost who has powers and hers is to do with... time. or something. i dunno. and maybe the reason the others got her in the first place is because she was a Special Kid, like with walt

that's all i can think of right now

oh and theres all the people i consider bi, trans and/or autistic but that's less a theory thing than like, headcanons

thank you for your time

[corethetrueidiot]

•Core's (not) Beautiful Tumblr Blog•

anyone hear that ominous bell tolling???no????just me??? 😭😭😭😭(help)

_________________________________________________

Hello!!! im Core :] a dumb 16 year old on the internet that got given a phone way too early in life. oh, i also draw and animate. cool right?

My main-main interest at the moment is project sekai because miku virus got to me. Its a Horrible virus. So ill be posting abt that from now on since twitter turned to shit and i got tired of it !!!!! (if you were my oomfie on twt pls inform me so that i can fb!!! i usually am not able to recognize yall right away!!!🙏)

I am an emunene and polyniigo artist !!! i barely draw any ships that arent any niigo monoships or emunene!!(ones outside of that are only as a treat....)

The art youll mostly see here are abt my faves!! ( oshis have a * on them.you will see them alot.) Mainly Nene**, Emu*, Mizuki*, Kanade*, Airi, Saki, Minori, Ena, and Kohane. Other character's art is pretty rare to see around my account....but requests will be avalible if you wanna see your fave in my style :3

Other details that are probably important:

- they/them pronouns. only comfortable with friends calling me by he/him

-Im Puerto Rican. Latino. Hispanic. arroz con gandules. What ever you ppl call it (basically i speak spanish and english)

-my bday is in 4/20

-i am extremely interactive!!!! i also dont mind dms or asks so pls ask away or yap away 🙏!!! i always love making new friends slowly but surely so pls dont be scared of talking to me or interacting with my posts!! ^_^

-DNI if your a shitty person in general. im not a fan of shitty people and i wont hesitate to block you.

-I use IbisPaintX to draw and Flipaclip to animate. occasionaly Flipnote Studio

-i may be autistic.

if you wanna know a Bit more abt me consider looking through my rentry

Consider supporting me on Ko-fi if you like my art! Link to that here

Go through this tag if you wanna see my art: #the core art tag

Go through this tag if you wanna read my stupid posts: #core rambles

Go through this tag if you wanna see what i reblog for whatever reason: #core's reblog tag

thats it basically! you rlly wont find me anywhere else other than here from now on but if you still use twt and i know you, you can ask for my priv :]

(subject to changes if i change hyperfixtations!!! for now it will be project sekai but tomorrow?who knows......(joke))

[jade-harley-lesbian]

hello people of tumblr!!! i have been rewatching part 1 of valle verde because im autistic and noticed a couple of things that i havent seen pointed out here yet!

the first being that chloes portrait briefly replaces the town landscape around 4:44 in the video, and you can see that she doesnt seem to have eyes? one socket is empty, and where the other should be seems to be just skin. her mouth is also replaced with an eye. heres a link to a screenshot i took, for posterity and so no one has to Look at that if they dont want to.

the second is that when the smiling one is first mentioned, the name is actually COM until the text is fully written out! i had to take these screenshots from the non-subtitled version because the subs actually covered up the last word

these other two points are taken from various comments ive seen on youtube, but the japanese players house appears to have a pair of shoes outside it, and ive heard that in japanese media, thats often meant to reference suicide? the fifth language in the bit where it says “turn the console on march 22, 1997″ also appears to be written in enochian, which is an occult language which its creators say was given to them by angels.

[bionic-penis]

did you even look at the links in the journal? https://sta.sh/0oaewsw1qme https://sta.sh/218azefzfdww https://tupe-lo.tumblr.com/post/184656093423/venty-vent

Yeah I did.

The screenshot about the dead body proves nothing other than, allegedly, AwoDee is comfortable around death. The screenshot is cut up too so we don't even know if its actually AwoDee saying that nor do we get any context. Bad evidence.

The link where AwoDee and CandyRotten have a conversation over discord regarding AwoDee's art also proves nothing. It literally just looks like a conversation gone wrong which, considering that AwoDee AND CandyRotten both have autism (with CandyRotten saying IN THE JOURNAL that autistic ppl naturally struggle with tone and communication) uh yeah I'm not surprised. The one time we get good evidence and its just people being annoying and not understanding eachother be fuckin fr.

And finally, the link to the vent also proves nothing other than, allegedly, AwoDee was a minor who'd go into adult spaces which is bad, but also isn't something that I'm going to condemn someone for, especially four years after the fact. Not only that but the original poster of the vent provides no actual evidence. It's all hearsay which, given the fact that it's a vent post, makes sense, but it also means it shouldn't have been used as evidence in a journal (from 2019) thats still being passed around to this day. Bad evidence.

CandyRotten made bold claims that, if any of these people were a bit more popular, could ruin AwoDee's life. You can't just call someone a neo-Nazi and insinuate that they're having inappropriate relations with children without proof. Also why was the only proof we're given about stupid shit? You're telling me CandyRotten had time to grab multiple screenshots about AwoDee being annoying about his art, but NOT him being racist? Seems a little fishy and it calls CandyRotten's priorities into question.

Its possible that AwoDee did all of those things, but because CandyRotten was unable to provide screenshots we can't know for sure. It is irresponsible to pass around CandyRotten's journal as if it contains any kind of validity. Furthermore, this was four years ago. People change. CandyRotten himself has mentioned being a bad person but moving on and growing from that. Why isn't AwoDee given the same grace?

Give me actual evidence or leave me alone.

PS: its so fucking annoying that a lot of these points were "omg hes sooo weird hes got a gore fetish he's into cannibalism" can we all fucking grow up please. Being into horror is not weird nor is it something someone should be condemned for. You dont have to like but you don't get to act like someone's a creep for being into it. Honestly this guy sounds like he fucks.

Also fuck ppl for calling this guy weird for displaying behaviours commonly associated w autism. How was that ever okay. Like I'm supposed to side with CandyRotten when he's calling out AwoDee's "weird" behaviour while also acknowledging that autism affects how you interact and communicate? Where am I?

[pagesofkenna]

Propaganda:

Jade Harley: omnipotent space dog god, but also She Who Sleeps. most powerful character hidden in the sweet lovely kid archetype. one of the Four Main Characters of Homestuck and also arguably the one with the least screentime or narrative utility. she was isolated and neglected in the story and out of the story. she deserved so much more. I love her your honor.

Haydee: Greek princess sold into slavery who gets brought into France to deliver her vengeance on her father's betrayer. I wish she'd gotten to kill him with her own bare hands but she's too elegant for that vulgar an act. not a fan of the romance arc the book gives her, personally, but a HUGE of how she flips the 'vengeance will consume you' script; she gets her revenge, and immediately moves on. no moral dilemma. your honor, I love her.

Ema Skye: SHE WANTED TO BE A FORENSIC SCIENTIST BECAUSE SHE WANTED HER LOVE OF SCIENCE AND THE PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE TO HELP HER SISTER'S DETECTIVE CAREER BUT THEN HER SISTER WAS ARRESTED FOR FORGING EVIDENCE AND EMA COULDN'T GET A JOB IN FORENSICS AND I WOULD DIE FOR HER! I LOVE HER!

Fi: In the beginning area of the Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, there's a scene where Link's Master Sword, irreparably damaged by Ganon's power, is put onto an alter and sent into the past. In that scene the sword gives a brief pulse of light, and a short musical theme plays—that's Fi's theme, because Fi IS THE MASTER SWORD. a sentience bound in the sword, introduced in Skyward Sword; seeing her hurt in Totk hurt my heart, because I love her.

Ayda Aguefort: the definition of autistic rizz. she's a hot dark phoenix girl and she's got a section in her pirate library about how friends work. she doesn't understand why it's supposed to be a secret that her girlfriend kissed her. she wrote a spell for her best friend that is 'wizard punch'. she wrote a love letter to her paramour on primordial comets. her dad's the sucky school principal. need i say it? i love her.

Falin Touden: listen if you know me you know i love me a necromancer and this babe can fit SO many necromancers in her. she's dead. she's dragon meat. she IS a dragon. when her party got attacked by ghosts she immediately started making friends. when she finally made a friend she was 100% ride or die, immediately, no questions asked. powerful mage. lesbian. your honor? i love her.

Kate Bishop: I am physically incapable of seeing a hawkeye and not loving them but Kate Bishop is perhaps the most deserving of them all. got hurt, learned how to hurt back. archery, swords, fists, laserguns, she's got 'em all. teenage superhero turned young adult superhero. ignore the fact that her parents are rich. i love her.

Riza Hawkeye: i am physically incapable of seeing a hawkeye and not loving them but Riza Hawkeye is perhaps the most deserving of them all. she was used as a tool by everyone and everything she ever trusted and instead of falling to despair she leaned into it. she'll be a tool but on her own terms, under her own control, and for her own goals. one of which is to kill the man she loves at a moment's notice. and she never misses. thats sick as hell, i love her.

Yorda: the premise of the game Ico is you're playing a young boy who was left in an empty, ancient castle as a blood sacrifice, and you come across this girl Yorda in a birdcage. you work together trying to escape, unable to speak since you don't share a language, running from the shades sent by Yorda's mother, the evil queen. Yorda is passive in all this, following the player character around, and yet that is part of what endears her to me. she knows escape is almost impossible and yet she tries anyway, because you're trying. without working together neither of these characters could make it to freedom, and they do it all without words. i love her so much

Inej Ghafa: nicknamed "the wraith" in the story given her ability to move silently and out of sight - and you know i love ghosts. she can do anything she sets her mind to and not because of innate talent but because she puts in the work. one time she climbed up the inside of an on-fire chimney stack, burning her shoes into her feet, and when she finally came out the top she decided to dedicate her life to hunting slavers, and then she just did that. she can do anything. i love her.

Elaine Marley: Elaine could very easily be (and in some games has been) the astonishingly more-competent woman who's bafflingly taking the back seat to the dorky incompetent main character she's in love with—but instead it feels to me like she's the protagonist of a different game we're just not playing. Especially in the last game, she's got her own thing going on that really has little to do with her partner. She works in politics and philanthropy and fights bad pirates with both her sword and the law. She really also deserves more from the story but yeah, your honor, I do love her.

Temperance Brennan: I love necromancers, and I love science, and Temperance "Bones" Brennan is the closest you can get to a necromancer in a non-fantasy setting. This show started airing when I was a kid and it honestly may be the reason I'm a necromancer fan now. In every episode Brennan works with the final bare traces of the human condition and gets criticized for being emotionally distant from the death and murder surrounding her, and yet she restores life to dead bones. She sees their humanity and fights for their dignity. She's oh-so autistic coded. Her best friend is Billy Gibbon's daughter. I'm literally quoting her every time I tell someone "I don't know what that means." I know she's just a fictional character but I really highly respect her. Also? I love her.

apparently this is a bandwagon and i'm hopping aboard

[headspace-hotel]

Last place I lived, there were a ton of proverbs/sayings to the tune of "trip to the doctor will damage you more than the disease": it seemed a given, the abuse & lack of power. The chronic pain community on tumblr's also really good about not taking shit from drs after being mistreated too many times. I think older ppl are treated with less abuse in medical setting, partly b/c Doctors Be Like That & partially b/c older people Take No Shit & are very assertive about what can/can't be done to 'em

I’ve talked a lot (sort of?) on here about the pervasive problems with how doctors treat people, and how harmful that is to autistic people specifically. Mostly because I, specifically, have a horribly debilitating fear of going to the doctor that I feel like I can’t/shouldn’t refer to as “trauma” but that “phobia” doesn’t really describe at all. Like…I’m incredibly good at ignoring/managing anxiety, but medical things are a whole other tier. I straight up can’t go in a doctor’s office without shaking like a chihuahua. I went just to get tested for covid last year and crashed so hard from the adrenaline that I was too exhausted to do anything but lie in bed for like two days.

I especially hate needles, and for a couple years a while back the smell of rubbing alcohol would trigger shooting pain in my arms. It was fucking weird.

The thing thats fucked up is that the fear wasn’t really linked to being actually exposed to the thing, like with a phobia. I have a lot of nightmares about medical stuff when I’m anxious, kind of always have? I developed a lot of super debilitating fears of different when I was a preteen having panic attacks for the first time (fun) and most of them linked in some way to medical things. For a solid year or two of my life I was 100% convinced I had any of a number of serious illnesses, and it only hit me this past year how most of them were things that were 100% treatable. It was never like…cancer or something that could realistically threaten my life. The fear always centered on like…being hospitalized. Because that was The Worst Thing Imaginable, like my ability to imagine bad things just stopped there (and I was a kid who was like. Very, very, very much aware of my own mortality). My brain never got to the concept that “okay but if that happened they would be able to help you and you would be okay” because I couldn’t conceptualize anything coming “after” Medical Treatment.

I feel like it’s linked to a few bad experiences I had as a very young kid, but it wouldn’t have gotten this bad if my experiences with doctors weren’t so generally pervasively bad. I’m autistic. I don’t like unpredictability. I don’t like to be touched by strangers. It gets harder for me to communicate when I’m stressed. For most of my life my experience with doctors was “person in position of authority that feels entitled to access to your body and will do things to your body without explaining them,” and now I’m on levels of neurosis you mortals can’t even imagine.

But there’s the initial damage, right? And then there’s the damage that comes of everyone around you insisting your fears are irrational and there’s something wrong with you. I always hated the label of “phobia” because I was supposed to accept that it was irrational to be afraid of being forced to give unlimited access to my body to a stranger that wouldn’t communicate with me or treat me decently.

Everything I read about how to free myself from the horrible nightmare-scape I was in assumed there was something wrong with me. It took so, so long for me to encounter anything that even considered the idea that maybe there was something wrong with how I was treated, instead of something being wrong with my feelings.

And this is the thing that’s really…traumatic about being autistic. Your boundaries are wrong; people aren’t wrong for violating them. Your behavior is wrong; people aren’t wrong for bullying you. If something traumatizes you that most people can “get over,” it’s not traumatic, it’s something wrong with you.

Long story short, this is how I learned how our understanding of psychological harm is prescriptive, not descriptive.

People who otherwise understand bodily autonomy get really weird about this subject. Because in our culture, doctors are Authority Figures, and they’re trying to help you, so you shouldn’t be assertive in setting the terms for your care, you shouldn’t refuse examinations you’re uncomfortable with, you shouldn’t kick medical professionals to the curb when they can’t or won’t communicate with you in the way you need. You can’t even express frustration without people siding with the doctor, because they have a degree, and that means people can’t be abusive bastards, or something.

It’s not consent if there isn’t a real, informed choice, even if you technically did agree. We understand this about sex. It’s not “Yes” if “No” is not an option. And yet, medical professionals regularly will try to coerce and pressure you into letting them do things to your body, and often completely obscure the fact that a choice is available. “You have to do X,” they will tell me, conveniently leaving out the fact that no the fuck I do not.

“We recommend that you do X, here are the benefits and risks” is acceptable. “Our policy is not to do Y unless you’ve had X” is acceptable. But “you have to do X” is not, because it’s not true, because I can get up and leave at any second, watch me, I’ll do it right now. If you have a problem with that, well, your move. I spent 1.5 years in Krav Maga, I’m faster than you, and I bite.

If you bring this up to people they will be horrified, because there might be risks to refusing something recommended! People that otherwise perfectly understand consent often cannot understand this, and regress into the mindset of a Republican politician when you have this conversation with them. Suddenly, bodily autonomy does not matter, and actually other people should make the choices about your body because you might make the risky choice, and obviously you shouldn’t have the right to do that, even though it’s your body.

Let’s think about this. Let’s be thoughtful. Who will be healthiest in the long run, the person who learns that their feelings and choices matter in a doctor’s office and is able to build up a good relationship with medical professionals, or the person who experiences coercion and disrespect and ends up so psychologically fucked up that they avoid medical professionals even when they’re sick, in pain, and suffering?

My body is for me, you have access to it because you are PROVIDING A SERVICE TO ME. The moment you disregard my choices, you are no longer doing your job.

As far as I am concerned, it’s the same mistake people make with dogs. “No” is viewed as disrespect, just as a growl is viewed as disrespect. But “No” is polite. It’s “Here are my boundaries. You’re free to back off.” Instead of just, you know, biting.

[anarchistsuggestion]

hey, vaccinate your kids you jerks!!!

thanks for coming to my essay! now that i have your attention, i think we should stop talking about anti-vaxxers like theyre all backwards hyper-religious dumbasses. like, im frustrated too, and i agree that "personal/religious reasons" should not allow someone to keep their kids unvaccinated. furthermore, as an autistic person, i despise the myth that vaccines cause autism. i especially hate that it scares people into avoiding vaccines, because theres nothing wrong with me.

but ridiculing these people will only make the problem worse, and here's why: i think that a lot of anti-vaxxers and their communities are used to feeling like the most important aspects of their cultural identities are universally mocked or demonised (im not qualified to say whether these feelings reflect reality in every case, but either way im just talking about feelings, ie, what people think we believe about their culture). for instance, my only knowledge of amish people comes from jokes ive seen others make about them. yes, none of these jokes were very serious, and its easy for me to laugh at them because im not amish, but despite my low empathy i can understand that it just feels bad to hear a whole bunch of jokes about something important to you. i'll get back to this point in a moment.

anyway, i bring up the amish because in 2014, there were measles outbreaks in some amish communities in Ohio. and i think that a lot of the people who dont vaccinate their kids are used to being ridiculed for their "weird" or "new age" or "hyper-religious" or "unchristian" lifestyles, so they just see our concern as more of that mockery. we all sound the same to them, and cant you see why?

"ughh all these people ignoring science and being stubborn about vaccines because their church said--" you sound like one of those atheists. if you cant say anything productive, please stay out of the discussion. why do you act like ridiculing people will change their minds? we should be reaching out, instead.

we need to make the effort to approach anti-vaxxers in a way that distinguishes us from those who only converse with them to mock them.

i want more people to understand that the best way to change someone's mind when they're defensive is by listening. you need to be willing to accept whatever they might rant about, and respect that, even if their fears seem ridiculous, even if their fears are rooted in ableism, their fears still terrify them. thats why theyre called fears. you can validate someone's feelings of anxiety and confusion without validating their bigotry, and you must be willing to accept that this is work. this is difficult. it's much, much harder than yelling your opinions. it's exhausting, and sometimes it doesn't even pay off. sometimes you just can't convince somebody, and you have to be able to accept that.

if this seems too hard for you, i have good news: you do not have to do it. this kind of thing is not for everyone, and it's okay if you just don't want to. this doesn't have to be your responsibility.

i only ask that you stop making things worse by (performatively, in the case of yall who arent in danger of dying/losing a loved one to a preventable disease) mocking anti-vaxxers, because we are the ones who need something from them. we are asking them to face their fears (which were sometimes instilled in them very early in their childhood) for the good of humanity. i don't know about all of you, but i'd be hesitant at best to face even my third worst fear (spiders) for the sake of strangers who regularly mock my culture and heritage, and i know for a fact that most spiders cannot harm me!

this is natural. this is human. it is easy to dismiss things you dont understand, and it's even easier to dismiss them when all the scientific evidence agrees with you. however, your evidence does not make these people's experiences and fears less real for them. it does not lessen the effect their fear has on their choices. knowing that a tarantula won't hurt me if i follow certain guidelines will not stop me from shaking and having a breakdown if i think too hard about touching one. knowing that nothing bad would happen doesn't motivate me to go over to the science building at my college and ask to hold their fucking tarantula.

there are no shortcuts here. if we want anti-vaxxers to accept vaccines and stop putting so much effort towards keeping their children unvaccinated, we have to convince them that they don't need to be afraid of vaccines. we need to actually address their concerns. telling them their fears are ridiculous is just not convincing no matter how much scientific evidence you have. this discussion has become too performative. people just tell anti-vaxxers to vaccinate their kids, and they dont bother to address the fear that motivates their opponents. they don't care that they're asking people to trust a yelling internet stranger with their child's health.

it is inconsiderate to demand things from people without stopping to think about what you're asking for. please think about it from their point of view. if vaccines were dangerous, and they vaccinated their kids, then anything bad that happened to their kids due to the vaccines would be their responsibility. and remember, these people have not been given a convincing reason to believe vaccines are harmless. okay? they do not want to be at fault for their children getting hurt. yes, they are wrong. yes, they are frustrating. yes, they are endangering immunocompromised people like my dad, but there is a huge difference between being malicious and being misguided. please do not treat them like they set out to hurt you.

also? stop telling them to care about other people when you don't care enough about them to respect that they're doing their best with the resources they have. stop saying "i dont know how to explain to you that you should care about other people" when you really just want them to magically stop being scared. maybe you say it out of genuine frustration and bewilderment, but when everyone is saying it, it comes across like a smug 'gotcha!' phrase that excuses you from spending more energy on the debate. you can just say youre tired and stop.

i am trying to explain to you that you should care that these people have felt scammed/hurt by the medical industry enough times that they feel justified in risking the health of their whole family (assuming they even think vaccines work). you should care that theyve never been given a convincing reason to trust remedies promoted by rich strangers who make claims that sound too good to be true. the government has promoted harmful things to underprivileged people before, like milk (it took me a half hour to sift through unrelated stuff about soy milk to confirm this, so i'll go ahead and link my source). it is logical to mistrust an industry that operates for the profit of people youve never met. not everyone trusts the FDA to keep the pharmaceutical industry in check, and it's actually pretty smart to rely on direct accounts from people you know personally when you aren't sure how well something actually works, and you dont trust the ones selling it to you.

with that in mind, talking to people is probably the best way to tackle this issue, but many of you haven't bothered to compile introductory information about vaccines. you havent bothered to present these resources in a way that doesn't ridicule people who are scared. i am trying to explain to you that you shouldn't debate with people if you won't treat them like humans. i am trying to explain to you that "you dont actually care about others" is a hurtful and manipulative sentiment, and when you say it to people who are trying their best, you become part of the problem. you reinforce their mistrust. i am trying to explain to you that trusting doctors doesnt make you morally superior.

put yourself in their shoes for a moment. imagine that someone comes up to you and makes it clear that they think the choices you've made as a parent are ridiculous. they make claims about your child without offering proof, or the only proof they offer also mocks you and people like you (or they just tell you to "google it"). furthermore, they tell you that unless you give in, something bad will happen to their own children, and it will be your fault.

this is manipulative. even if you are correct, it is manipulative. demanding that someone treat their child in a way that they consider harmful is just ridiculous and i don't know why you expect people to listen to you. do you expect this to be easy? do you honestly believe that if someone isn't converted within minutes, they're just being stubborn? do you think these people know the truth, and only persist out of spite?

these questions are necessary, because many of you talk about anti-vaxxers as though the answer is 'yes.' there is a difference between being correct and treating people right. please be more aware of that line in the future, and do your best not to cross it.

oh, and by the way, if i see any of you using this year's measles outbreaks as an excuse to be hateful towards jewish people, i will block and report you. antivaxxers usually arent malicious, and if you perceive orthodox jewish antivaxxers as being worse than other antivaxxers, you need to rethink your beliefs. they arent rejecting vaccines just to hurt you. maybe theyre tired of being demonised and blamed for everything from climate change to unemployment to dead kids*, and theyre unwilling to trust random people with something as important as the health of their children when a lot of us have never bothered to listen to their struggles. (* ive seen a whole lot of people saying things that border on blood libel without quite involving blood during these discussions, so can we all agree to be careful not to do anything that resembles that shit now that ive provided a handy link about what it is? thanks)

lastly, all of this criticism of anti-anti-vaxxers is very easy for me to say because i have less of a personal stake in the issue. i know it must hurt in a way i can't currently understand to lose someone to a preventable disease. if i have made anyone feel dismissed or invalidated in this essay post, i'm sorry for doing so, and i want to make it clear that it is okay if you hate anti-vaxxers. i know their fear has hurt you, and i wouldn't ask you to pretend otherwise. i dont want to make any of you feel like you shouldn't talk about your experiences and fears. i'm just asking that, before you hit the post button, you read through your post and edit out anything manipulative or guilt-trippy. your contributions to this conversation are valuable, and i want the people youre trying to convince to be able to read them without feeling like they have to defend themselves instead of listening to you. the culture around this debate has become almost hostile, and while we dont all need to work directly with anti-vaxxers to make it better, we do all need to agree to stop making it worse.

[tapsoda]

I love your long replies, mostly because you and I have the same opinions on like everything so far so it validates me in always being right all the time. Also I'm autistic so I know when you just gotta infodump. Do you have a link to the novel yet or do you want me to get you one? That stuff can be time consuming to find but I could probably find a free link somewhere.

SAME AAA like it’s so rare to see anyone have the same opinion on ffxv even tho it just feels like this should be a given on whats good and bad abt it djdvsjdv the adhd/autistic compels us to be right all the time<3 ALSO DUDE THATS LITERALLY SO NICE OF U TO EVEN OFFER THAT? IM SOBBING? I don’t have a link yet and obviously u don’t need to find one for me if it proves to be difficult but if u do stumble on one id love to be linked with it🥺 take ur time I’m in no rush at all but rlly I’m abt to cry over that gesture wtf MUWAH

[mininecro]

Current Hibari characterization is butchered by the tyranny of the masses. Will you adapt? Or will you perish like a dog? *read more link* *10k meta essay*

how to write hibari????? I can't seem to grasp his character so any tips? 

show me the hibari meta. im ready 

i hate all of you

Entry level: 

Hibari's tendency towards animal metaphors isn’t ever made clear - he obviously considers them animal metaphors, considering his ‘bite you to death’ and how he frames crowds as herds, but their actual extent is up in the air.

However, what we do know about it is that Hibari uses the “herbivore” moniker specifically for cowards. If he hates someone who isn’t a coward, he gives them a title or nickname (like with Yamamoto, Reborn, and Gokudera, who he refers to by their most identifiable traits, Dino, who he gives a sarcastic nickname, or Xanxus, who he just straight-up insults). If he respects someone, he refers to them by their name. He does this to Yamamoto later in the story, and his future self does this for Tsuna. 

At no point does he ever refer to someone as a “carnivore”, because he respects brave warriors, and if someone is brave and strong enough to earn his good favour, they earn the privilege of being taken seriously, by being referred to as their given name.

Hibari currently refers to Yamamoto by his full name and Kusakabe Tetsuya by just his name. He might be taken to referring to Reborn and Shouichi by their names if endeared to them. It’s unclear how he’d refer to Gokudera. He’d never refer to Xanxus by his name because their desires are fundamentally at odds.

There’s a notable exception in Tsuna, who Hibari doesn’t really respect, but understands enough about his strength that he’s unwilling to call him a herbivore. Tsuna’s ingenuity and raw power outranks his “cowardice”, so Hibari would prefer to call him a Small Animal. Hibari also loves small animals and wants to care for them, so this is also pretty gay

I haven’t reread the series in a while so I’m missing a few details. But you know

Intermediate Level: 

He is just as much of a theatric edgelord as Mukuro is and thats why they can never get along. They both eat that “mortal enemies who cannot stop until the other is defeated” except they fundamentally misunderstand what the other considers a “mortal enemy” - Hibari’s objective is to Win, while Mukuro’s objective is to control, and both of them just misunderstand each other to be on the same page. If Hibari Won, he’d completely blow Mukuro off, because his mental dramatic character arc has been completed. Hibari and Mukuro are the edgy version of the Gokudera/Yamamoto dynamic and it’s a greatly underutilized comedy routine. How dare Amano reduce it to 1 panel in the Rainbow arc, like a coward

ANYWAY, Hibari is a fucking chuunibyou and since no one believes me I’m back with receipts

Volume 2, chapter 16:

Hibari talks a lot. He has something to say every time he’s prompted. It’s incredibly important to him that he’s the most important thing in the room and he has the respect of everyone around him, and having a dominant personality is key to that image. The difference between him and a Fucking Chuunibyou is theoretically nothing, but in execution it’s more that he makes good on his threats. 

But they’re still theatrics, because immediately after asserting dominance, he does this: 

His goal was just to dominate everyone with the minimum possible effort. Tsuna got smacked, so he’s been Adequately Dominated, but the other two fought back, so they needed to be knocked out. Since knocking out is dangerous, though, he’s made sure to take care of them afterwards.

Hibari isn’t a wild animal or anything. He meticulously cares for anyone he “bites”. If they’re fine, like Tsuna ends up being, he’s like “yeah, just sit on the couch for a second and rest for a little bit”. It’s only after Tsuna crosses him again that he goes back to violence. 

Hibari isn’t a rampaging delinquent, he’s a selfish asshole who associates violence with control, and that’s why he’s an abuse survivor in all my shitty AUs

But back to the theatrics and him being a chuuni fuck

Volume 6, Chapter 43: 

hhHFHAHGAHGSKJGKGSGKSHFAH

Hibari just, clearly likes peaceful time alone? Looking at the trees? There’s no reason for a human being to say shit like this without blinking unless they think it sounds cool. Hibari curates his self-image meticulously. 

Before I move on to exaggerate the point, here’s some other micrometas:

hibari is attractive enough to be sexually harassed by Hetscum, King Of The Restraining Orders, making him one of the only few characters explicitly handsome, which is important because Amano draws everyone hot and I need some sort of justification for the cold sweat I broke into when I saw 10YL Hibari for the first time

(also he looks like a pretentious nerd in these early chapters so its worth noting in general)

Hibari’s entire character arc is literally the fact that he has the exact same problem. It’s possible that the reason Dino pisses him off so much is because he feels embarrassed at the implication of hypocrisy. 

The fact these 2 expressions happen in abrupt sequence is so fucking funny I love him (also, proof again that he isn’t a wild violent animal intent on abusing others - being contradicted doesn’t anger him, he just assumes Winning will solve the problem, because, I’m sorry to say, Hibari is not a thinker, which I’ll get to later)

BACK TO THE CHUUNI ISSUE

Volume 5, Chapter 38: 

And then he doesn’t do anything to Tsuna.

I don’t even have to comment on this. Hibari’s just a weirdo

Volume 34, Chapter 330:

Hibari has, at this point, witnessed Tsuna recover from a snapped neck and kill god. He saw this with his own two eyes. Tsuna asserted dominance over the closest this series has to the literal devil, eater of dimensions, and he only a few chapters earlier explicitly told Tsuna that he respects him so much that to defeat him in battle is a grand ambition of his and complimented him on his ingenuity and specialized power.

Hibari is lying here. He is lying through his teeth. He has finally entered tsun territory. He knows this conflict is important to Tsuna and is affording it to him, but because he painstakingly maintains self-image, he has to make it out to seem like he’s doing this for entirely selfish motives. “Wait for you to be killed”? What could that possibly afford him? Nothing, but it sounds cool, so that’s what he goes with.

it’s worth nothing that he’s functionally identical to Mukuro in this respect, except while Hibari communicates that he cares for Tsuna through Manly Warrior Affordances, Mukuro straight-out attacks Tsuna and compensates for his feelings with constant hostility. Both are funny but Hibari’s is full of more warmth and companionship so that one’s the best.

Anyway, god I forgot how cluttered and ugly the paneling had gotten during this arc

Chapter 335:

It’s not as if he’s giving Tsuna special treatment, either, because he does the exact same “I could...BUT I WON’T” half-hearted dismissal when he comes upon a somewhat exhausted Mukuro. Everyone knows that Hibari hates Mukuro and wants to fight him, but Mukuro has just defeated the enemy as an ally, so he chucks a tonfa at him and says “reaction time is shit, get some sleep”. Hibari was slighted by being defeated, but he has garnered respect for Mukuro, but he can’t tolerate having these opinions concurrently, because he’s incredibly straight-forward and it doesn’t mesh with his “character”

Look at his dumb face. He’s entered Full Tsun.

Expert level: 

Hibari is super fucking Autistic and loves his friends

I mentioned before that he’s not a thinker. It’s not as if he doesn’t try - his observational skills are actually pretty good, and he composes a lot of reasonable conclusions based on the evidence he’s provided. For example, after fighting Daisy:

But he often falls into logical stopgaps, and his method of resolving these are...less than ideal.

Situation: Hibari meets with a conflict to his worldview, image, or judgement

Conclusion:

He hits it until it stops being a problem.

Hibari is like a Sims character that will scream at the wall that used to hold the door they were about to walk through for 30 minutes instead of rerouting. He doesn’t care about being crossed, because he can easily understand it and control that variable, but he is hideously offended by contradiction. If his worldview is challenged, he gets pissed off.

This is the primary reason he and Dino struggle to get along - the entire basis of teaching Hibari is the assumption that Hibari isn’t already right about everything. Dino has to challenge everything about Hibari’s preexisting notions, and Hibari hates him for it. Dino’s lessons excel the most when he feeds into Hibari’s view of things, which is why the 2 things that got through to him by the end is “anger is power” and “flexibility is strength”.

Hibari’s forthright, carefully maintained image also affects how he communicates with people. He talks a lot, sure, but it’s usually to talk at people about how fucking cool and above them he is. He rarely actually communicates his interest in others, which is why him talking to Tsuna about what he likes about him is so important.

It’s also why this tiny panel-and-a-half is one of the best Hibari moments in the series:

Since when?? Have you respected Yamamoto?? He’s given zero indication of being fond of him until now. There’s absolutely no basis for this immense respect he’s solemnly presenting. He’s been mostly scornful of Yamamoto during the Daily Life arc. Hibari says this with such assuredness that he definitely thinks that liking Yamamoto Takeshi is in line with his character, unlike with Tsuna or Mukuro, who he also secretly grew fond of but is unwilling to admit as much, but Hibari just flies this like a fact.

Hibari Kyouya is fully capable of being friendly with others, but he struggles to operate outside of camaraderie. He definitely cares for Kusakabe, and they grew close over the years, but the first thing he says when he sees Kusakabe (10YL) “herding” up with a bunch of unconscious teenagers is “you’re fired”. 

Again, great basis for my AU fanfic where he’s an abuse survivor, especially when Mukuro, a canonical abuse survivor, has the same problem (with a different way of coping), but it also says a lot from the perspective of someone with Autism - he wants to become close to others, but communicating basic ideas like that is entirely beyond him. Hibari only operates in his comfort areas, and is hostile to being forced out of them. 

And yet Dino, who is the only character besides Kusakabe who has spent a significant amount of time around him, described Hibari to be similar to his ancestor, and when he gives reasons for that conclusion, he also mentions...

And this is observable! Because Hibari's reactions are missing from scenes he has no engagement in, like this one:

We can actually pick out scenes where he mentally checks off people as “worthy”, like this one:

This is also where it’s more apparent that Hibari respects strength/bravery. Shouichi is obviously a cowardly mess of a person, but when he says “we are WINNING”, Hibari makes note of him.

Anyway in conclusion Hibari is a gay autistic chuuni and I love him. Here’s Hibari getting mad at Squalo for being around without permission, something he previously expected of his friends

“mu.”

[groundramon]

I’m only writing this down here because I have shit to do and cant sit pondering on things for the time being, but:

I’m currently trying to figure out why certain things bother me in Steven Universe and Voltron that are also present in Teen Titans, but I find endearing in Teen Titans.

I’ll start with Voltron because I actually have an answer to that one.  Voltron’s tendency to switch between comedy and seriousness at the drop of a dime always bothered me a lot.  It’s not as present in the 3rd season because that season is just straight drama (ironic considering Shiro was missing for most of it, and ill get to why thats ironic in a minute) but it is in the other seasons.  The best (and by that I mean clearest and also funniest in the contrast) example of this is the Space Mall episode.  While everyone else minus Allura and Shiro are fooling around in a mall and doing mostly comedic shit, Shiro is nearly killed by the big bad of the series in a beautiful but pretty dark scene.  (And Allura is also off doing something funny and cute, its worth mentioning).  This perfectly highlights the tonal differences and what causes these differences - its whether Shiro is in a scene or not.  Like I love Shiro, I love Shiro a lot, but...giving all your serious scenes to one character, or worse killing the mood of a scene just by his meer presence, is...bad writing.  The only three other characters that have really had any serious backstory or serious moments are Keith, Pidge, and Allura.  But I can basically never take a scene with Lance, Hunk, or god forbid Coran seriously.  Coran is okay because no show ever develops the Old Crazy Uncle comedy relief character (but i will love this show forever if they do that honestly) but Lance and Hunk?  It’s appalling how little development they’ve been given.  To be fair it looks like theyre building up to /something/ with Lance, but honestly?  That should’ve bubbled over two seasons ago.  You establish your characters’ problems and struggles in the first season, not season 4 or later.  Sorry not sorry.

But comparing that to Teen Titans, okay.  So Voltron’s problem is that instead of its serious moments vs its comedic moments being situational, they’re character driven.  They dont treat all their characters equally; they act like they have a cast of comedic characters and then a cast of serious characters.  Teen Titans, meanwhile, relies on all of its main characters as a source of humor.  Robin gives bad puns, Starfire is the quirky alien, Beast Boy is the Typical Teenage Boy(tm), Cyborg is his slightly chiller and cooler sidekick, and Raven is the emo kid that cant stand the Typical Teenage Boy(tm).  And all of its main characters also have a darker side that fits into these comedic topes that they fall into, that makes them overall well-developed characters and fitting for the tone of the show as a whole.

Now onto Teen Titans and Steven Universe.  I’m starting to absolutely despite Steven Universe’s filler episodes.  Like, sincerely, there are so many episodes in Steven Universe that bore me, the “stupid” episodes especially.  So why do I hate SU’s filler episodes but not Teen Titans’?  Well first off, I said Teen Titans’ make me laugh, not that I like them.  There are a lot of episodes that I didnt even find that funny, I just found myself laughing as a reflex because my brain was stuck in a loop of “what?? what the fuck??? this is borderline kinky”  Secondly, the reason I can laugh at Teen Titans’ is 1. because they purposely dont take themselves seriously in those episodes, and 2. because they dont take away from screentime that should have gone to the shit pacing of the serialized story.  Control Freak is my favorite (irONICALLY) but I’d prefer to see Slade terrorizing the Teen Titans with his latest plan over another Control Freak episode any day (except yesterday because i watched a lot of depression shit yesterday).  Having said that, I dont mind watching Control Freak because (USUALLY) by the time they get to a filler episode, the main plot has hit a stopping point where a filler episode is okay (IE the titans cant do anything about it), or the “filler” episode actually is the plot.  Because the Titans stopping Control Freak from robbing a bank IS their job, so it IS the plot, regardless of where Slade is at.  But yknow how I mentioned usually?  Yeah well, as much as I love Terra herself, I had a LOT of problems with her arc because the writers gave her five (5) episodes and four of those were inherently linked despite there being two filler episodes sandwiched between them.  Winner Take All was the one I had the biggest problem with, because she was around for ONE (1) episode before her betrayal and she wasnt even a focus in it?  Like really??  You gave yourself a new character to work with and you didnt even explore the possibility of “filler” episodes with her???  And Fractured is a bit more understandable (well, plot progression wise - the episode itself is basically a drug trip) but even then, I feel like...that wasnt really a good place for that episode.  I feel like taking out those two filler episodes, and maybe taking out another one or two earlier on and moving her first episode as a Titan up further, and dedicating those episodes to filler episodes involving her would be much better for her overall arc.  But I digress, it does it right MOST of the time, where as Steven Universe basically hasn’t done it right since the second season.  The problem is that the filler episodes are interrupting the plot, instead of the plot stalling and leaving room for filler episodes.  And the moral thing - there’s no fucking moral to Fractured or even Winner Take All, but Steven Universe acts like there’s some kind of moral to episodes like Onion Friend.  I dont know, I just feel like the show tries to say “be nice to people who are different!” about a character that really is the embodiment of being MEAN to others who are different.  And I dont mean he’s mean to others (he is, but he doesnt discriminate), I mean that he himself is the embodiment of the “weird kids are weird and nobody should like them” kind of trope.  Onion isn’t just some quirky child, he feels like a creepy autistic stereotype - and this is coming from someone who isn’t good at picking up on these kinds of things and really hasnt heard much about Onion from anyone else other than “hes annoying”.  He puts me very, very off and I know the writers had good intentions, but Onion was very much the wrong character to do with this - or he needs to be more redeemable and less psychopathic.  Like you cant say “oh he’s just different and does strange things [implied because hes autistic]!! uwu” and then show him robbing an arcade a few episodes later.  You need to commit to how you’re portraying a character.  But I feel like Onion could be comparable to like Starfire, since Starfire’s status as an alien is treated both seriously and is generally the source of her jokes, but this already got too long and i dont have time to pinpoint the exact difference right now - but I guess for the time being you could say that “starfire saying weird things because shes a cultural minority, both on earth and in space” is a lot less harmful than “mentally ill people like to rob arcades”

I’m gonna write a more articulated version of this some time but rn I’m not satisfied about how I’ve highlighted the differences between SU and teen titans and like i said i dont have time right now so

[greyro-problems]

I always thought that the term aspec referred to the autism spectrum

First of all, if I may ask (and if you still remember), where did you hear this? Because this whole topic has been quite the issue on tumblr, so I’m kind of curious whether you heard about it somewhere on tumblr or somewhere else online/from an autistic friend/etc.

Secondly, I did a bit of research and this is what I came upwith. This will be a long post, so strap yourselves in – in fact,I’m going to put one of those “continue reading”-things here toshorten the post for those who don’t want to see it. This doesn’talways work on the tumblr app, so if this is the last sentence youcan see on this post and there is no “continue reading”, eitheruse a computer or try clicking here.

I can say from myown experience that I’ve honestly never heard/seen „a-spec“ usedto describe the autistic community – except for posts on tumblrsaying that it’s widely used/was first used by autistic people andaros/aces should stop using the term. I’ve never actually seen itbeing used in a post describing some sort of autistic experience oranything like that. This might of course be (at least partly) becauseI’m not autistic myself, so I’d probably be less likely to stumbleacross such a post.

But the thing is –I’ve spent over an hour today scrolling through tumblr and google anddidn’t find any post (except for the ones mentioned above claiming„a-spec“ should only be used by autistic people, of which therewere plenty) that used „a-spec“ for anything autism-related.Which of course doesn’t mean it has never been used by autisticpeople (an hour of searching doesn’t nearly cover all there is on theinternet, after all), but apparently it can’t be used as widely or ascommonly as some people claim.

The second thing Irealized was that most of the posts claiming „a-spec“ forautistic people (especially the more aggressive ones) came from blogscalling themselves some variant of or participating in some form ofaphobe/aphobia or aro/ace discourse, which means I personally takeeverything they write with more than just a grain of salt (and Iwon’t link to these posts here, since I don’t really want discourseor aphobes on my aro-spec blog, sorry).

Infact, there are plenty of autistic people (who are often alsoaro-spec and/or ace-spec) who either specifically stated that theydon’t use and have never heard of “a-spec” being used to refer toautism (x | x | x | x) or used “a-spec” in their posts meaning“aro/ace” (as opposed to “autistic”/”ASD”, which was used in thesame post to refer to autistic people/experiences). The most interesting post I sawwas this one (which I’m going to link here despite what I said above,but cw for several discourse blogs participating in thatconversation), because someone actually asked for a source for thestatement that “a-spec is used by autistic people”. The sourcegiven was the person’s therapist and they stated that “[they]only recently learned from [their] therapist that thats howprofessionals refer to autistic people” - though several otherautistic people replied that they went to one or several therapistsand had never heard of “a-spec” being used that way.

Plus, several(autistic) people have mentioned in various posts (x | x) thatthe person who first started the rumour “a-spec stands for autisticpeople” was not autistic themselves and has been disproved severaltimes. Not convinced? Look at the answers on this post to see what 20 autistic people (some of which are aro/ace, some of whicharen’t) think.

To conclude, thiswhole issue (or at least the bulk of it) seems to me (and several other actually autistic people (x | x | x)) less like anargument between aro/ace people and people on the autistic spectrum –and more like a fight between aphobes/discoursers and aro/ace people(especially those who are autistic themselves).

This doesn’t meanthat no autistic person has ever used “a-spec” to refer to autismor that all who do are automatically aphobic/discoursers, butobviously there are either very few (if any) of these people or they don’tmind aro/ace people using the same term as much – since none ofthem posts about it. In fact, some autistic people have coinedanother term for themselves - “auspec” or “au-spec” (which,as some people argued, also makes more sense linguistically, sinceit’s closer to the root of the word “autism”.) (x | x | x | x)

(Bonus: one of themain arguments, apart from the “autistic people used it first”,is that autistic people who do want to use “a-spec” to refer toautism shouldn’t have to look at all the aphobia on tumblr. I agreeand I raise you: NO ONE should have to look at theunnecessary hatred that is aphobia, biphobia, homophobia or any other formof discrimination.)

Also, if anyonewonders - the first actual mention of the term “a-spec” I couldfind using google and searching from September 2009 on with the terms“aspec autism”, “aspec forum” and “aspec tumblr” was on18th February 2011 by a tumblr user, who used it in their blogdescription meaning“aro/ace”. I couldn’t find any other actual sources of when thisterm has been used first. Do with this whatever you want. (The closest I could findsearching for “a-spec autism” is the Autism Spectrum Australia,since 2005 also called “Aspect” - please note the “t” at theend.)

This is all I’vefound on this topic. If you want to comment on this, feel free to(especially if you can cite actual sources), but please stay civil.Aphobes or discourse blogs (which I fear this might attract) will beblocked immediately. Hope you all have a nice day, stay safe :)