𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 | 𝐀.𝐀
𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ✷ she hopes im cursed forever to sleep on a twin sized mattress never graduating up in size to add another 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,1k ✷ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: religion, homophobia n’ nsfw content
abby feels owen’s hand on her waist like a brick to her chest weighting her body down, it wouldn’t take much for the drowning to begin but your face across the room was both oxygen and the final anchor of her demise. she weighed her options as their personifications stood before her, father smiling brightly at the happy couple unaware his own daughter forced her chirpiness while she yearned in the deepest aching to be swept off her feet by the girl just a few away– who now refused to face her much understandably. you cursed her for inviting you to their preppy engagement party, cursed her for multiple reasons more, yet your heels stuck to the ground like they clung for dear life anticipating a plot twist shaped by regret.
“excuse me” she finally croaked out mid conversation, the place where her fiancé’s hand once held onto now burning her skin like a rotting poison. she wished to bathe herself clean in the rain like a baptism, wished owen didn’t felt like sin tainting her body from being with you, her holiest of experiences, wished she had not known heaven between your legs so she may live on her life guiltless and not as someone who has felt blasphemously like a god herself. your fingers brush past eachother as she walks up behind you and fireworks bloom from your fingertips like lily flowers at spring. lillies, her favorite, your perfume.
you follow her to the bathroom, breath unsteady, and regardless of how long the affair has been happening no familiarity prepares you for the crash of her lips against yours as you twist the doorknob. sometimes you think these moments might make you understand her, to have abby anderson’s tongue exploring your mouth, hands by your neck to keep you still, perpetual apple cinnamon smell, was nothing short of a religious experience. perhaps that is what the church brought out in her, this same inextinguishable fire at the pit of your stomach with understanding of icarus and his hope for the sun. if all sins felt this sweet it did not seem so big of a sacrifice to die for them– you’d die for her if asked.
“abs, stop” you whisper once her lips are on your neck, long wet kisses all across the exposed skin warming up your body from the winter cold better than any cloth could have, she’s hungry, biting you down and her fruity scent doesn’t let the irony of forbidden fruit to die on you even as she hums in fake confusion allowing herself more time in her feast begging it to cloud your judgement as it almost does “abigail, we have to stop”
“don’t do this to me” she begs, voice cracking “please don’t leave me, you’ll take all the sunshine with you and it’s cold, it’s a cold winter i need your arms, your limbs, your body, my sunny girl-“
“you’re getting married, abs” you sigh with the exclamation, it seems nearly as though you’ve just reminded her of it like someone who forgot to turn off the oven before they had left the house, someone destined for burnt flames, your reality scares her into kneeling submission and you’re laughing because it looks like a proposal and it’s absurd, her hands gripping yours, her gaze doe-eyed and unconditional. you are missing a ring but you see hers, diamond, and the ache doesn’t easen.
“you are everything that i want…”
“then leave him, abby. don’t sit on the dirty bathroom floor of a venue for your engagement party and promise me a love you are too scared to give me, i can’t keep excusing your cowardice for the sake of sanity. take off that ring and walk out of here with me, we’ll figure it out, we’ll be happy together, your winter won’t be cold”
she pretends to take in your words, analyse them as if her nights haven’t been filled with scenarions and possibilities all of which there is pain unbearable. you’re searching her eyes with a hope unbeknownst to men and suddenly you feel the line between dream and desperation blurring itself into oblivion. abby lets go of your touch and slides the ring from her finger out onto it’s demise on the tiled floor. you think you won. you think god exists when she locks the door behind you and presses you against the wall, believe he had heard your prayers once her fingers dip between your thighs. when she’s thrusting inside you, you cry out for god instead of her name, moan louder at the sight of her wedding band far away on the ground, feel your walls clenching around her digits and her warm breath against your neck, she’s mumbling so many i love yous you barely notice how multiple sound like im sorrys.
with your hands curling around her loose hair she gets sloppy, deprived, wants you to tug on her and beg for her mouth without needing the plead to taste you and you do so eager it burns her scalp. she’s back on her knees and she thinks for a moment not admited this might be her holy repent. tugging on your jeans till their ultimate glide towards the floor, shes sucking on the wet patch of your underwear as a tease, letting her senses flood of lillies and pussy. she finally pushes it aside and dives in, godhood in the shape of your swollen clit grazing her teeth, you tilt your waist to give her further access and there are stars and angels behind your fluttered eyelids.
she calls your her sunny girl as you rain down her face in white honey, her muscles spread your legs further apart and suck it in till it has destroyed her makeup, part of her wishes to leave this bathroom and still smell of you, part of her is scared owen might kiss your heavens from her tongue and catch it all. she’s putting her ring back on at your climax, and you’re confused and heavy breathing. a sob clings to your throat.
abby tells you all she’s ever known is the cold. tells you girls like her are unworthy of the sun. tells you owen is waiting and maybe you should leave. she doesn’t tell you she thinks god isn’t real once you’ve turned your back because he would never have created something to purely magnetic to have it ripped from her hands, she does not tell you the only thing worth worshipping is the gap between your teeth, the crook of your neck and the dimple in your cheek, doesn’t tell you she thinks hell is this. but she almost does. she almost does. on your way out, you just sob and hope she’s cursed. hope god is angry. think god is her.
© dykells twentytwentythree
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:*New and Improved*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
✧・゚: *✧Lilly Whitefield's Fanfiction Masterlist✧*:・゚✧
Bridgerton
Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington
Doja Cat Modern Songfic Series
Penelope Needs to Know - Explicit, Size Kink, Love Confession, 7/7, 25.6k words
Why Don't You Say So, Colin? - Mature, Masturbation, 2/2, 7.5k words
They've Been Feelin' Freaky Deaky - Explicit, One-Shot, Mirror Sex, 9.1k words
Polin Week 2023
Love Island and a Little Magic - Mature, Modern, Love Confession, 2k words
Rent is Due - Explicit, Modern, Roommates With Benefits, 1.6k words
A Pen Pal Called Pen (or, The Missing Letters) - General Audiences, Regency, Epistolary, 2k words
Never Turned You Off - Explicit, Modern, Flirting Help, Wall Sex, 2.1k words
Olive Like No Other - Teen, Modern, Olive Puns in Greece, 1.5k words
A Visit From Sir Richard - Explicit, Regency, Dildos, 3k words
when you and I collide - Teen, Modern, Intimacy, 1.2k words
Polin Month 2023, Ed Sheeran Edition
learning to speak - General Audiences, Modern, Meet-Cute, Speech Disorder, 2k words
a million more first times - General Audiences, Regency, Developing Friendship, 2.2k words
I see my future in your eyes - Explicit, Regency, Kitchen Sex, 3.4k words
this love won't ever go away - Explicit, Modern, Disney World with Children, 9k words
you will still love me the same - Explicit, Regency, Older Couple, A/B/O, 3.7k words
Polin Week 2024
it's hard to know which one of us is caving - Mature, Regency, Forced Proximity, Arguments, 3k words
linger - Mature, Regency, Lessons, Masturbation, dancing and flirting in Colin's bedroom, 2.2k words
Mr. Brightside - Teen, Fake Dating, Jealous Colin, why does everyone like Debling???, 3.6k words
i wish i was special - Teen, Epistolary, Colin's letters, sad boi hours, 2.6k words
maybe i just wanna be yours - Explicit, Height Difference, Colin goes through Pen's window to propose, 3k words
only fools rush in - Explicit, Soulmate AU, Meet-Cute, Sex under the stars, 5k words
your skin and bones - Explicit, Hopes for Season 3, Mirror Sex, Wedding Night, 2.7k words
Complete Multi-Chapter
The Scents of Longing - Explicit, Regency, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Demisexual Colin, many confused feelings for our sad boi, Alpha Presentation, 6/6, 37.9k words
Knot Surprising - Explicit, Modern, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Pen asks Colin to help with her heat, it goes super well, since they're great friends and all, 6/6, 38.5k words
The Christmas Cake-Off - Explicit, Modern, Christmas Hallmark Movie, 3/3, 25k words
A Poison Tree - Explicit, Regency, Forced Marriage/Proximity, Only One Bed, Rebuilding Relationships, 19/19, 145k words
Santa Baby - Explicit, Modern, Santa Kink, Lap Sitting, Pregnancy Sex, 3/3, 22k words
It Was a Graveyard Smash - Various Ratings, Halloween One-shots, 21/21, 35k words
Bloodlust - Explicit, Regency, Vampire AU, Blood Drinking, Check Tags and A/N for CW, 4/4, 22k words
Romancing Captain Bridgerton - Explicit, Regency, Mermaid AU, 21/21, 100k words
Summer Afternoons - Explicit, Regency, Coping with Heat, Semi-Public Smut, 4/4, 16k words
One-Shots
my honey bee, come and get this pollen - Explicit, Regency, Breeding Kink, Pregnancy, Colin's turned on by the baby race, 4.2k words
Forgiveness - Explicit, Regency, Spanking, Lady Whistledown Cloak Shenanigans, 4.2k words
Falling for You - Explicit, Regency, Amnesia, Valentine's Day, Love Confessions, 11.2k words
Love in Bloom - Explicit, Regency, Sex Pollen, 5.2k words
you are impossible - Mature, Regency, Love Confession, 2k words
Switch It Up - Explicit, Modern, BDSM, Restraints, Latex, 1.9k words
Kissing the Kettledrums - Mature, Regency, Masturbation, 1.4k words
Baby, It's Cold Outside - Explicit, Regency, Pregnancy Sex, 4.5k words
All's Fair in Love and Pall Mall - Explicit, Regency, Sexual Frustration, 7k words
Works-in-Progress
Twelve Years, One Night - Teen, Modern, Rom-Com (based on Six Days, Seven Nights), 4/?, 11.9k words
Made of Honor: A Polin Love Story - Mature, Modern, Rom-Com (based on Made of Honor), 1/?, 1.8k words
Other Fics
Lord Fife (plz read this fic I swear it's actually so good and gay)
In His Wildest Fantasies - Explicit, Regency, Fife/Ben but also one-sided Fife/Colin and one-sided Cressida/Pen and also Colin/Pen in the background and ends with marriage of convenience for Cressida/Fife, M/M smut, 5.6k words
Queen Charlotte
Agatha Danbury/Lord Ledger
Come With Me - Explicit, no PIV but it's hot I promise, 4.3k words
Call the Midwife
Bernadette | Shelagh Turner/Patrick Turner
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - Explicit, Couch Sex, 3k words
may God hold you in the hollow of his hand - Teen, Grief, Loss of a Parent, 4k words
When I Fall In Love, It Will Be Completely - Mature, First Date, 4k words
Talking - Explicit, Married Life, 2.5k words
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