#lilith actually practiced and plays well

[dead-lights]

1920s // all that jazz // caleb & lilith vatore

i betcha lucky lindy never flew so high

caleb

outfit - 1920s vest 1 by @happylifesims

pose from can we raise a star by @vanillasims4xx

lilith

circlet - 20s headdress by @glitterberrysims

dress - 1920s evening dress 9 by @happylifesims

hair - maxie by @raindropsoncowplants

shoes - 20s shoes by @simsfromthepast

pose - from sing to me by rabiesims

necklace - coral necklace by @batsfromwesteros

props

piano - even grander piano by @littledica

microphone - vintage microphone by tyrABV (tsr)

[randomgurl2326]

Adam Relationship Headcannons

SFW

You two met after the whole Lilith and Eve debacle

You were sent to be his Guardian Angel down in the Garden of Eden. Honestly, he couldn’t care less about Eve when he first saw you

He was in the middle of the garden, talking to Eve and then you show up… man’s whipped. Simp I tell you

(Actually wished that you were made to be his wife instead of the baddie Lilith or the goodie-two-shoes Eve)

Again. Whipped.

Now, tho is guy… whewww. He may seem incredibly misogynistic to practically everyone around him. But he can be a total sweetheart

He would—if you didn’t know how to already—teach you how to shred on the guitar

Speaking of guitars, that gold strat that he had during the battle in the last episode is only used during a special occasion (case and point, when you two have a date night or after sex)

He also serenades you every chance he gets

After dinner

After a meeting

After sex

After just walking the goddamn promenade

I also think he would be heavenly (ha! See what i did there? No? Okay…) in the kitchen. Especially for date night. Adam knows how to make the best prime rib in heaven

(Lute totally hasn’t tried to blackmail the recipe out of him)

Adam is also very insecure about how he looks under his mask

Especially after having two wives ditch him for Lucifer

He definitely needs to be praised on a daily basis, even if it seems like he’s an egotistical asshole

Every day you tell him how handsome he is and he doesn’t believe you (c’mon have you seen him fuckin’ hot)

You two sometimes don’t see each other days on end because you both work so much. You being a high-ranking Angel/seraphim and him being well… the first man on Earth

If you guys go especially long for not seeing each other, you guys hole up a few days in your shared home spending time with each other among other things…

By the way, you and Lute are best friends, probably more than her and Adam

Like, seriously, if you’re not with him, you’re with her. Gossiping or fucking around, it’s heaven, there’s infinite things to do

You two are also very lovey dovey with each other

One time Sera had cover Emily’s eyes with her wings because you two were making out and feeling each other up in the middle of the Heavenly Court Room

Despite all of his faults, he’s a good husband to you, a great one actually. And if you two were to ever have kids, he’d definitely be the dad who everyone loves

He would introduce them to rock, punk, metal.

Definitely plays his guitar to get them to sleep every night

NSFW

Okay… he want lying about being the Dick Master. He can pleasure women, that is not a problem for him

Also, it might not seem like it, but he loves going down on you. Probably one of his favorite pass times actually

I swear, this man could make you scream his name within minutes. No joke

Don’t get me wrong, he loves receiving head

But just not as much as he loves eating pussy (Lilith and Eve missed out on that one for sure)

He also has a bigger dick than average

Probably 6-7.5 inches in length and hella girthy. Uncircumcised (duh), and a vein that runs up the bottom of it

Definitely knows how to use it

Every one within a five mile radius of your guys’ house… let’s just say I feel really bad for them

No joke, he is insane about pleasuring you

This probably also feeds into his insecurity about you leaving him (you won’t)

He for sure has a praise kink. Seriously, tell him he’s a good boy and he’s unraveling under your touch instantly

His favorite position is cowgirl (what can he say, he loves powerful women)

But he’s down for whatever position you want; missionary, warrior, against a wall, whatever

Speaking of wall sex, Lute has definitely caught you two more than once

The first time she did was when you two were in Adam’s office while he was supposed to be planning the next extermination. She came to ask him a question about it and there you two were. Goin’ at it like rabbits on the wall next to his desk

She couldn’t look you guys in the eye for three weeks. It was terrible

Adam also doesn’t seem like the type of guy to have sex toys or feel the need to use them

But, again, he’s whipped. So he’s willing to do whatever you want to do

Wont admit this to anyone but you, but he likes to sub every once in a while. Especially with all the ‘first man’ stuff weighing down on him he needs a way to get away from all that stress

Despite him making crude jokes about sex, he’s a very giving partner in bed

He had to make sure you cum at least twice before he gets his dick wet

Also, have I mentioned how good he is at eating pussy? Oh, I have? Yeah, well, he is (especially with that tiny bit of stubble on his chin… gahhh)

Just needed to get it out there

All in all, Adam is a very giving person in bed, can be selfish at times but will make up for it. He loves you too much for you to feel mad or upset (especially with him)

A/N: this was my first time writing for Adam and Hazbin in general. I hope you liked it. I love you all💚💜

[inubaki]

Taking What’s His

-chapter 1

—-warning for Adam x Lucifer smut -

—-a commission I bought from @libby-for-life for my birthday. The art pieces by @sir-tater-of-the-tot!

Adam was mad beyond belief. About two weeks ago, he had gone to sleep in Heaven after a long night of drinking. The next day, he had somehow woke up in Eden. At first, he thought it was a pleasant dream. Then he saw Lilith and thought it was a nightmare. 

He hadn't dreamt of Lilith in years and she was just as distant and cold as she always was. Adam ignored her this time as well; he was dreaming, so why not? He spent most of the time by himself.

Until he accidentally hurt himself. Seeing the red blood drip onto the emerald-green grass made Adam's heart skip a beat. No...you couldn't get hurt in dreams...

He had a full-blown panic attack right then and there. His breathing was so erratic he almost passed out. This was real. This wasn't a dream. He was really back in Eden, and somehow, he was no longer an angel in Heaven.

What kind of bullshit was this?!

He decided he wanted nothing to do with Lucifer or Lilith. Let them play out their fantasy but leave him out of it. He did everything to avoid them. He also knew how much Lucifer wanted to talk to him. He knew exactly what it was going to be about and he was not going to be offered anything.

So he avoided him until he couldn't anymore. Lucifer finally found him and he had the biggest smile as he tried to give him Forbidden Fruit. He could even see some of the black on his wrists. Couldn't he see how he was poisoning himself and how wanted to do the same to Adam?!

Adam couldn't help it. All the patience he had for this shit stain was coming to a head and he couldn't help but growl.

Lucifer flinched. "Adam?"

It was sudden, and Adam honestly should have thought it out, but he was far too angry. He grabbed the little angel by the throat and slammed him to the floor. Lucifer coughed in surprise; there was no way Adam could actually hurt him and knelt before the smaller creature.

"Damn you, little shit!" Adam cried out as he forced the robe Lucifer was wearing over his crotch. Adam smirked as Lucifer blushed in surprise and embarrassment when he noticed Adam looking at his privates. It was so small compared to Adam's, and he couldn't help but flick it harshly.

"I'll teach you to try and trick me!" 

"Wah! Adam!" Lucifer cried as he was spread, hands gripping his thighs so Adam could see what he was working with.

"You need to be taught a lesson."

Lucifer's eyes widened when he saw just how big Adam was compared to him. And now, with it fully erect, he could see just how truly big he was. Adam...couldn't be putting that in him...right?

But Adam was grinning in a way that made Lucifer shiver. He had never seen the First Man like this. What happened to the Adam who was innocent and sweet? This Adam was grinning feral-like at him and it was causing Lucifer to blush.

"Okay, bitch. You're only getting a little prep. More than you deserve."

Prep? What? Lucifer squeaked when Adam spit onto his hole before two fingers entered him. It was tight and Lucifer squirmed in discomfort.

Now, Lucifer did have the power to throw him off if he needed to but...the Archangel wanted, no, needed, to see where this goes. Adam stretched him for a few minutes before growling, "times up, bitch. Bark for me." Lucifer howled when Adam entered him at a brutal pace but not out of pain.

It was one of pleasure. Pleasure he hadn't known even with Lilith. He cried in ecstasy as Adam pounded into him, smirking all the while.

"Adam! P-please! S-slow down!" He cried, not wanting to finish so early. But Adam was on a roll and he would not be deterred. "Take what I give you, bitch!" 

They did this several times in several positions, and each time Lucifer felt more full and satisfied. Adam picked him up after their fourth romp and shook his face a little. "Still with me?" Adam taunted. Lucifer nodded lazily. "Yes, Adam...."

"Call me Master," Adam practically purred with the biggest smirk. Lucifer didn't know why but he repeated it without question. "Yes, Master..."

Lucifer was suddenly brought to his knees, Adam's still leaking dick brought to his face. Lucifer didn't know what he wanted for a second until the head of his appendage was wiped all over his lips. "Open wide, slut." Lucifer didn't know that word but it sounded degrading and Lucifer shivered in pleasure.

Lucifer opened his mouth obediently and Adam shoved his way inside roughly, making him moan. Adam was so rough and dominant...he couldn't help but love it. Lilith could be dominant of course but this was nothing she had ever done. She had nothing on Adam.

I'm not going back to Heaven, am I?

Lucifer thought as he was throat fucked, his eyes rolling as he felt Adam go deeper until his nose was brushing Adam's crotch.

He didn't care. Not if Adam gave him this all the time. He would gladly give his halo up for this. Suddenly, Adam ripped the long thick appendage from his throat and Lucifer whined at the loss.

The First Man chuckled. "Hold still." And Lucifer yelped as his face was covered in Adam's release. He blinked, whimpering a bit as he looked at Adam with tears in his eyes. He gasped as the First Man looked at him, his eyes holding a soft look that he remembered so clearly...

"Hm...looking cute, my pretty duck." Lucifer blushed heavily, Adam's semen dripping off his face and out of his ass. The First Man picked up the fruit that Lucifer had tried offering him and then picked up the angel by his robe.

"Find some other sucker to trick, Ducky." And then he placed the fruit into Lucifer's mouth, making sure he bit down. Lucifer was dropped onto the floor and the First Man left with a laugh.

Lucifer still felt dazed, the fruit spat out as he shakily got to his feet. He should clean the semen out of his ass but...he somehow didn't want to. He wobbled away and out of the Garden, towards Lilith but he only had one thing on his mind now that no one could possibly satisfy.

Lilith was horrified at his state, his arms,  hands, and legs now a dark black. "What happened?!" Lucifer could only smile in a daze as he looked at Lilith. How can he explain perfection without sounding mad?

Lilith fingered the bite mark on Lucifer's neck...what had happened? Did they fight? Then she saw the dry semen on his legs and she realized what happened. Lucifer didn't seem hurt...he seemed satisfied. More than anything they had ever done when they mated.

The next few dozen suns that passed only made Lucifer's newfound obsession set in deeper. He needed Adam like he breathed air. And he began to stalk him for long hours, just to get a glimpse of him.

Finding new ways to see Adam was hard. Especially since it was clear he kept avoiding him. But that didn't stop him from trying.

When he finally caught Adam it was by surprise as he was bathing. The First Man jumped when he felt something hug his torso in a death grip. Turing around with a scowl, he glared down at Lucifer as he held on with the biggest grin on his face.

"Are you fucking serious? Let go!" Adam demanded but Lucifer was determined. "Please, Adam! Don't leave! Can't we do what did last time?! Can't we mate?! I promise I'll be good!" Lucifer begged, his eyes big and bright but the grip on Adam was unrelenting.

Adam blinked, tilting his head before realization brought a slow smirk across his face. He grabbed Lucifer by the hair and brought him closer. "So...you need Master again, hm?" Lucifer's eyes closed and he nodded, gold staining his cheeks. 

"Let go and we can have a quickie since you're so desperate."

Adam was true to his word. The First Man had other stuff to do and fucking the angel into a purring mess certainly hadn’t been on that list. But he'd be lying if he wasn't tempted to fuck THE Lucifer Morningstar into his place again.

He was fast and rough, just how the angel wanted. Lucifer moaned, high and needy as he ripped grass at the roots from how hard he was clenching the ground. Adam only grinned and slapped his ass.

He finished their romp with Adam cumming inside Lucifer three times while the angel could only sob his name. After, Adam sat back and admired Lucifer's gold, bruised and dripping ass, finding he didn’t mind in admitting to himself just how much he’d enjoyed it. The black markings on Lucifer’s hands, starting from plucking the forbidden fruit, had already spread to his wrists.

Lucifer didn't even seem to notice nor care as the inky blackness tainted more and more of his white skin.

Adam honestly didn't care either. So what if Lucifer's body was falling into corruption? That's not his problem. He left Lucifer to clean himself up.

Adam knew he should have cut it off. Left whatever they had going on that day die by the lake he was bathing in. But...he couldn't. Lucifer kept coming back for more and he was persistent in what he wanted. Sex from the Dick Master himself.

Adam should have been flattered, and some part of him was since he was sticking it to Lilith, but another part was concerned. Just slightly. Every time they had sex...Lucifer kept looking worse and worse. His once angelic appearance turning into something dark and twisted. Demonic.

What really hit the nail on the head was when the small idiot was giving him a blow job. He was smiling in that soft silly way that made Adam know he was stuck in his own head space. He looked cute getting drunk off his must and pre-cum. But what really had his attention was the little tips poking out of Lucifer’s forehead. It didn't take a genius to know it was horns.

And it looked painful, ripping through his skin and little beads of angelic blood dripping and staining his hair. Lucifer seemed blissfully uncaring of this, happy to drink up Adam's cum as he came in his mouth.

That's when he started noticing other differences as well. His once slender fingers looked like claws, leaving deep grooves in the ground. His moans sounded...demonic. and his feathers. His beautiful blue feathers looked like they were falling out and growing new red ones in it's place.

When they were done, Lucifer wobbled away. Some of it was because he had been on his knees for over an hour, but the way he walked...like he had broken legs.

Adam knew he had to quit what they were doing. As much as he told himself that he didn't care...a small part of him did. A small part that didn't want to see such a painfull-looking transformation happen right in front of him.

Adam was done. This wasn't fun anymore. And good thing too...they were making him his wife. Adam was a lot of things but unfaithful wasn't one of them.

——

Next:

[cyjammy]

Alastor: A Fairly Predictable Enigma

I love how Alastor is written in the sneak peek.

Alastor waited until a prime moment of vulnerability from Charlie before he revealed that he knew angels could be killed. (Hey, we all know it, context clues, baby)

And here’s why he did it. Alastor may be seen as unpredictable, but he does have a code he follows.

It wouldn’t have made sense for him to tell Charlie as soon as he found out, he waited until this moment — for Charlie to be at her wits end before he offered the option.

Charlie is a firm believer in her plan for redemption. She’s a pacifist. It doesn’t matter what they have done or when they did it, she believes they can turn their lives around and be better.

So, Alastor was amused by the princess who boasted about her plan, took everything with a smile and unbridled optimism. She basically practiced everything he preached.

Alastor respects that.

Alastor even acknowledges this. He never expected Charlie to give up. To wallow in pity over a loss no matter how big.

With her firm beliefs comes a difficulty in getting her to try something different. Charlie’s behavior is so engrained in her very being that she will refuse to go against it.

If Alastor were to tell her before she went through everything she did in this season: being laughed at and ridiculed, having her beliefs questioned by the determining powers that have influence over her success, being confronted by a rigged system and being lied to by the person she trusted most —

She would have never listened.

Killing angels would be the last thing she would consider, and even then she would actively prevent this from happening if she had known about it earlier.

Charlie had to be battered by the world to see a new perspective. You can only rebuild what has been broken. She had to confront the world and all its flaws, break out from her delusional bubble and see things for how they actually are.

All of Charlie’s complaining about her stresses and basically giving up is what makes Alastor share that angels can be killed. Charlie sees the world for how it is and wants to give up.

Alastor can’t let that happen, so now that she’s out of options, the only thing she can do now is fight.

Alastor knows this all too well and takes advantage of it. If Charlie gives up, he no longer gets to see how this story plays out.

If he didn’t care, he would have left a long time ago (unless Lilith is commanding him to stay, which I firmly believe and I will die on this hill).

Alastor may not care for the patrons of the Hotel, but he does love a show, and what better than a war against Heaven?

Episode 7 and 8 are going to be amazing, I can’t wait until Thursday!

[mousy-nona]

Headcanon that someone asks Alastor for his body count and this confused man replies with some insane number because he thinks they're talking *literal bodies* and doesn't know why everyone is so shocked

“Three.”

“Three?” Angel Dust gaped, looking like he might pass out and die for the second time from sheer shock. Charlie buried her face in her hands, but she couldn’t hide the blush that spread to the very tips of her ears. Vaggie rubbed her back. 

“It’s not that bad,” she soothed. 

“Speak for yourself, Feathers,” Angel Dust spluttered. “Haven’t you been alive, like, hundreds of years? What the hell have you been doing with your life?” 

“Helping people, obviously,” Vaggie snapped. “Maybe you should try it sometime.” 

“Hey!” So fast almost no one caught it, he cast a nervous glance at Husk. “If you’re so much better than us mere mortals, why don’t you share your body count with the class?”

Vaggie raised her chin, her eyes flashing. “Two.” 

Angel Dust choked, wobbled, and flopped dramatically back onto the couch, fanning himself like an overwrought Southern belle. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you two were running a convent here!” 

“It’s your turn to share, numbnuts,” Vaggie sighed, rolling her eyes. 

“‘Fraid I can’t count that high, doll,” he grinned. “Lost track a couple years ago. Husk, your turn!” He sounded far too casual, as if he was very eager to hear the answer and was trying to pretend to figure out what the regular amount of eager would be. 

Husk grumbled and set his glass down on the counter. “Fifty?” He shrugged. “Sixty? Somewhere around there.” 

“Finally! A decent number. See, ladies, it’s not that hard once you put your mind to it,” Angel Dust sighed. “Niffty, you go.” 

The tiny reincarnation of chaos giggled, practically vibrating as she licked the tip of the knife in her hand. “Bugs?”

“No, Niff. Your body count.”

She scratched her head, looking adorably confused. “Silly spider! Bad boys can be bugs too.” 

“What–? Actually, you know what, nevermind. It was my fault for asking you in the first place. Okay, who’s left…” He brightened when he spotted Lucifer lounging by the fireplace. “Aha! The Big Daddy himself has gotta have some interesting answers.”

Lucifer chuckled, his chest swelling with pride. “Well, I might have slowed down in my old age, but before Lilith and I started our little family I was quite a killer with the ladies.” He thought for a bit, tapping his chin as he counted. Carry the one, times three… He finally gave up. “Maybe two hundred?” 

“A-ha! Is that it?” Alastor grinned. “And you call yourself the king of hell?”

Everyone gaped. Alastor had almost thrown someone out of the top floor window for accidentally brushing up against his hand. He’d once burned a coat after Lucifer had grabbed it. He only willingly touched others to A) show dominance or B) play mind games (this option he reserved almost exclusively for Lucifer).

In short, he was the absolute last person anyone had expected to participate in this game. 

Angel Dust looked like someone had just told him Christmas had come early. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the strawberry pimp himself! Don’t keep us in suspense. What’s your body count?” 

Alastor thought for a second. “Four thousand and five-six.” 

Six jaws simultaneously dropped to the ground. Lucifer felt the insane urge to fly into his circus dimension and scream until his lungs gave out. A strange green beast clawed at his stomach, and he pressed his hand against it, trying to tame it before he did something truly stupid. 

“Four…thousand?” Angel Dust stuttered. “But…you’ve only been alive for a hundred years?”

He shrugged. “I’ve been busy, I suppose.” 

That was the last straw. Lucifer stormed out of the room. He didn’t think he’d be able to control himself if he stayed. So Alastor’s fine with just anyone? What the Hell am I then, chopped liver? He stopped in the main hall, taking deep breaths in through his nose, then out through his mouth, just like Charlie had taught them during her “How to: Anger Management” seminar. 

“What’s all the fuss about?”

A familiar static ripped through the air. Lucifer scowled. 

“I don’t really want to talk to you right now.” 

“How interesting! I don’t want to talk to you ever, but unfortunately it’s out of both of our hands.” Alastor pretended to inspect his nails. Lucifer knew he was pretending, because he couldn’t see them through his gloves. “Charlie threw me out and told me not to return until I’d checked in on you.” 

Charlie did? Lucifer shivered, pointedly trying not to think about what that meant, and what she might know about his Super Secret, Definitely Not Pathetic crush. “Great. You’ve checked in on me. You can go now.” 

Alastor cocked his head, peering at him curiously. “I must say, I’m rather surprised by your reaction to my confession. Is it really so surprising? I’ve never made a secret of my favorite pastimes.” 

Lucifer gaped. “This is literally the first time I’ve heard you talk about this.”

Alastor frowned. Lucifer frowned. They both frowned at each other. 

“Have you gone senile? I ate a man in front of you yesterday,” Alastor asked, looking at Lucifer as if he’d lost his mind. 

“What does eating a man have anything to do with it?” Lucifer asked, the same expression mirrored on his face. “You just said your body count was –” 

Realization hit him like a freight train. Alastor had been born during the turn of the century. He’d struggled with modern day slang before, like vibes and cap and bet – and body count, it seemed. 

“Are you…are you talking about how many people you’ve killed?” Lucifer gasped, barely managing to get the words out in between laughs. 

“Yes?” Alastor wrinkled his nose. “Why is that so funny?” 

Lucifer thought his sides might tear from how hard he was laughing. “Nothing,” he wheezed. “Nothing at all.” 

Then he immediately started scheming ways to get Alastor's actual body count.

[xenia12]

Here’s a bunch of 3+ year old incorrect TOH quotes from my notes app because I’m bored

News reporter: There are rumors that you recently went undercover at Hexside under the name “Caleb”. Is this true?

The Golden Guard: Pfft, TITAN no. Caleb’s just a pathetic wannabe who can’t stand his own incompetence. Like, seriously, he can’t do anything right. I feel bad for anyone who has to suffer the embarrassment of being within 20 feet of him. He’s such a loser.

Hunter, watching the clip on his scroll a few hours later: Say that to my face, you fucking tool. Stop being such a royal ass-kisser and get a real job.

The Emerald Entrails, sitting together after practice:

Willow: Are you okay?

Luz: No problemo!

Luz, internally: But it was all problemo.

Gus: What's your biggest fear?

Hunter: Being replaced.

Gus: Damn that's deep.

Gus: My new one is the Kool-Aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now.

Hunter, lying in the woods, depressed: I'll never be a cop again. I'm gonna have to be a robber.

Lilith: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

The Golden Guard, stirring his coffee: I prefer it with salt.

Willow: What are you two arguing about this time?

Hunter: He’s always using human phrases incorrectly!

Gus: Cry me a table, Hunter.

Luz: I'm very disappointed in you, Vee.

Hunter: C'mon, don't get mad at Vee!

Luz: Hunter, stop telling Vee it's okay for her to punch you! She needs to learn not to punch people!

Hunter: But I'm not a person!

Vee: Which is why I punched him!

Lilith: *Turns on the breakroom light*

The Golden Guard: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*

Lilith: It’s four in the morning.

The Golden Guard: Turn the light back off.

Hunter: The joy of hanging out with Luz. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and she bites the tip of a marker off.

Camila: Can you come out?

Luz: Yeah gimme a minute…

Luz: Mom, I’m bi.

Camila: I know that. Come out to the car.

Luz: Okay.

Luz: Car, I’m bi.

Camila, a tired mother:

Willow: *lifting weights*

Hunter: Wow… She’s so intense!

Luz: I wonder what drives her.

Willow, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

Hunter, protecting a palistrom forest: I am Hunter, I speak for the trees. Chop them down and I snap your knees.

Luz: I wanna be a knight!

Hunter, basically a knight: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I’M DEAD INSIDE!

Luz: Man, I want some of that in my life!

Luz: I want a trip down memory lane.

Vee: *proceeds to grab every warrior cats book they have and sets them in Luz’s lap*

Vee: I heard you needed these?

Luz: YES! ALL OF THEM!

Hunter: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Luz: Did Willow say “I love you” and you said “Thanks”?

Hunter: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

The Golden Guard, on live news: I can't imagine what the Owl Lady is planning, but I can tell you two things: we won't like it and it won't be legal.

Gus: Did you win? Or just not die?

Gus: Either way, hooray.

Hunter: ... Is "no" a valid answer?

Gus: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.

The Golden Guard: Hey, do you know anyone who can teach me to play the trumpet?

Darius: Why?

The Golden Guard: I want to wander around playing it to annoy Lilith.

Darius: Technically, you don’t actually need to know how to play the trumpet well for that.

The Golden Guard: Darius, you have opened my eyes.

Lilith: Can we talk about that mass message you sent?

The Golden Guard: Why? It was important.

Lilith: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".

Steve, shrugging: The people need to know.

Gus: How long do you think it’ll be until Willow finally snaps and commits murder?

Hunter: I’ve been operating under the assumption that it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to her.

Hunter: It was difficult, so you’ve just given up. You might fail, so why bother trying?

Luz: Exactly.

Luz, to Amity: I told you he’d understand.

Willow: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up!

Willow: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!

Hunter: There's something I have to ask about you-know-who.

Luz: Voldemort?

Hunter: No.

Luz: Is it Voldemort?

Hunter: It's not Voldemort.

Luz: You haven’t mentioned wizards once this conversation, so I’m gonna have to assume it’s Voldemort.

[jtl07]

Hi JT! I’m not sure it’s possible to challenge you, but I’d love to try: Glasses, classroom, romcom!

okay finally got some time (how dare work actually be work) but also wow WOW ask an ye shall receive because goddamn this batch of prompts has succeeded in being a challenge lol

anon, i feel like i don’t actually write romcom that much so this was a fun mindpuzzle to practice. thank you for playing!!

“I just don’t get it, Lil.” Ava huffs from her perch atop the edge of their homeroom teacher’s desk, the heels of her feet kicking against it. Behind her, she hears Lilith sigh, which Ava takes as a sign for her to continue her rant. 

“She’s the kindest, coolest in judo practice but the moment she’s off the mat, it’s like she’s a completely different person.” 

Another sigh. “In what way?” 

“Like -” All four of Ava’s limbs get in on the telling “- okay, yesterday I saw her in the hall and waved but she literally said, ‘Do I know you?’” Ava groans, smacking her face with her hands as if it would get the entire experience out of her head. 

“Well, if I was Beatrice, I’d probably pretend I didn’t know you too.”

Ava swivels around, arms out wide to try to smack Lilith, who ducks, expert as she is after years being friends. She doesn’t even pause in her typing. “Lilith, I’m serious,” Ava whines, pulling her knees up to her chest. “Did I do something wrong?”

Lilith shrugs. “It might not be you. Maybe she gets temporary amnesia every time she goes onto the mat. Or maybe the mat triggers some kind of - I can’t believe I’m saying this outloud - subconscious persona that she doesn’t remember outside of practice. Or -” 

A soft cough at the doorway stops them both - with Ava nearly falling off the table when she finds the object of her angst and affection standing just inside the classroom. Because holy shit, Beatrice looks great, as always, but also: when the hell does she wear glasses???  

Beatrice glances between the two of them, must consider Lilith the safer of them as her gaze settles on her. Which, fair, Ava thinks grudgingly, considering how she can’t stop herself from gawking at Beatrice in glasses. Still, she wishes she could get Beatrice’s eyes on her like it is during judo practice, feel the soft touch of her adjustments, hear the note of approval in “good job” that always makes her feel like she could fly to the moon - 

“- okay, Ava?” 

Ava blinks, finds both Lilith and Beatrice watching her, concern written in similar lines across their faces. She shakes herself bodily. “Yeah, I’m fine. Did you need some help?” she squeaks, totally casual. 

“I just need to input those for Beatrice’s class,” Lilith answers, gesturing to the folder Ava’s currently sitting on.

“Oh, sure.” Ava doesn’t realize her mistake until she’s already leaning towards the side. The side that is the edge of the table. The side that is nothing but open air.

She flails for a half-second, hoping to negotiate with gravity, but like always - in judo, on the stairs in the rain, stepping out of the bathtub, and here - it doesn’t give in. Ava closes her eyes as she feels gravity win and thinks: Fuck. 

The ground isn’t what greets her though. There’s a clatter of something falling to the floor and a gasp she recognizes from Lilith, but what surprises Ava the most is the warmth all around her. It’s strong, familiar. 

Ava pries open eyes she hadn’t known she’d closed. Turns her head to find Beatrice, wide-eyed and so, so close. 

“Are you alright?” she asks, and Ava has to keep from losing her shit completely because she can feel Beatrice’s breath against her cheek. 

“Yep,” she squeaks, totally normal. 

She feels Beatrice shift and her feet finally touch the ground. Ava’s loath to let go, now that she knows what Beatrice’s arms feel like fully around her, now that she has Beatrice’s eyes on her fully now, looking at her like - actually, Ava’s not sure what she’s looking at her like. It’s not the wary suspicion from the hallway, but something different. Something like recognition.

Beatrice takes the glasses Lilith is holding out to her, slowly, carefully puts them on.

“Oh,” Beatrice breathes, realization and wonder spreading pink across her face, “It’s you.”

[writer-freak]

Dates | Hazbin x Gn reader

Characters: Lucifer, Vox, Husk and Rosie

Warnings: gn reader, mentions of reader possibly being a cannibal in Rosie's part, I think everything else is pretty fluffy, english isn't my first language

A/n: So I'm currently busy with a personal fanfic for me and my friends so I haven't spent that much time with writing stuff for Tumblr but here are a few headcanons that I wrote real quick.

Comments, likes and reblogs are always appreciated and really motivate me to write more <3

Lucifer:

I think Lucifer would sometimes use his authority as the King of hell to give you the best dates ever

He would take you to exclusive restaurants that are like super fancy for hell and would even book out the entire restaurant so that you could spend time together just the two of you 

If you want to visit a specific location he will do everything in his power so that you two can go there

Though I do think he personally would be particularly fond of spending just time with you at home

Maybe watching a movie and cuddling, I think after Lilith left he would be quite a touch-starved 

And now that he is finally ready again for a relationship he just really enjoys being as close as possible to you

I think as gifts he would often handmake you things but if there is something specific that you talked about wanting but are not able to get at the moment he would buy it for you in an instant

Vox:

He would definitely take reader on some overly fancy dates, you would be sitting in a restaurant where you wouldn't be able to afford a meal with your entire month's salary

But Vox obviously tells you to get anything that you want as he will pay for it

In general, he would really shower you with the money that he has

Gifts from him would be something overly fancy and expensive and even if you tell him you don't need that stuff he will still give it to you

In general, I think he tends to be a bit overly obsessive so he probably will never let you leave his sight

The gifts are almost ways to ensure that you will stay by his side even if it's just because you feel bad that he spends so much money on you

Husk:

I think Husk personally prefers more chill and relaxed dates

At least when he has some free time for them, because if Alastor just wants him behind the bar all day then he has no say in what he wants to do

So often your dates are just you sitting at the bar while Husk is working

But hey at least you can spend some time together

But outside of that, I think if you wanna go out it could be like a chill bar date with good music if you can find that kind of place in hell

Or you two just spend time in each other's rooms 

Cuddling together while watching a movie and maybe you can give Husk a massage until he starts to purr loudly

I think he would give you some good liquor that you two can share together or in general something more practical that you can actually use 

He just enjoys being able to relax with you and forget about everything else

Rosie:

I think Rosie is almost playful while dating, she just has this really charming personality

She would take you out around cannibal town maybe to a nice cafe or restaurant around there

Or even better a picnic in a park with food from her own shop she really wants to make sure that you are eating well

I can kinda imagine her also enjoying spending time with you playing music, singing and dancing together

I think she would handmake you some gifts and in general, she is someone who would regularly just gift you something because she likes seeing you happy

She would just really cherish you and always shower you with compliments

Divider by: @saradika-graphics

[zootopiathingz]

My issue with Vaggie and her character

(TW: Opinion‼️)

I’ve been wanting to make a rant about this for a while and I’m sure other people have already done it, but I figured I might as well share my thoughts because I like to think my opinion matters to some people lmao. Anyway, I wouldn’t read this if you’re like a die-hard Vaggie/chaggie fan, but that’s up to you!

So I’m sure some of you by now heard the news that Charlie and Vaggie are getting another duet in S2 which apparently will be about their sex life. Which like, ok sure. In a show like this I expected a sexual-themed song to happen eventually. Here’s my issue with this though;

If you need to make an entire musical number about how much your main couple fucks, because of the severe lack of any hints of a sex life between them in the first season, then it’s not a good pairing, and this feels like a desperate attempt to give them chemistry that they just don’t have.

I saw someone say something similar on Twitter and I really couldn’t agree more. Some of you are going to say “you only say that because you don’t ship Chaggie!!” You’re right. I don’t ship them. Because there’s nothing there for me to root for. Like, at all.

Let’s start off with the fact that Vaggie has no personality outside of being Charlie’s girlfriend. I tried to like her character, I really did, but she’s honestly the most forgettable to me in the entire show. Some of you might disagree with me, but be honest and answer me this; can you name one interesting thing about her character that doesn’t involve her relationship with Charlie? And what she adds to the plot besides being Charlie’s “voice of reason”? (Which she’s not, she basically just gentle-parents Charlie into not doing things that Charlie wants to do)

Let’s take a look at some of the other characters in our main cast: Charlie, princess of Hell, desperately tries to help other people even when nobody believes in her cause. Alastor is a powerful overlord who’s supposedly helping out with the hotel, but clearly has ulterior motives that have yet to be revealed. Angel Dust is a famous porn star in an abusive relationship with his employer and is on a path to redemption himself. Husk is a former overlord who lost all his power to his gambling addiction and is now being forced to play bartender. Lucifer, the king of all Hell, a fallen angel who lost his will to dream, a shell of his former self. For fuck’s sake, even Lilith—whom we have yet to even hear speak—has a more compelling plot; she’s been gone for seven years, she’s in Heaven having made a deal with Adam and we have no idea why.

And what does Vaggie do exactly? She gives Charlie advice, she helps run the hotel, she.. occasionally threatens to hurt people with an angelic weapon (you know, the thing that kills souls for good?)

Ok so she’s also a fallen angel—a former exorcist in Adam’s army that leads to exterminations. Now that could have been an interesting plot point. It does explain a little why she’s so aggressive and skilled in combat. The scene with her practice-fighting Carmilla for answers was probably the most interesting scene that prominently features her. And even then, Carmilla kinda steals the spotlight for me, as I’m actually way more invested in her character and her background (seriously, why is she so knowledgeable about angelic weapons and Vaggie—the literal former angel herself—isn’t?)

This was honestly a twist I didn’t see coming, and it had so much potential to add more to Vaggie’s personality and character as a whole. Seriously, losing her wings and her fucking eyeball must’ve been severely traumatic. She might hold some grudge against Adam and Lute for abandoning her and tossing her aside like she was nothing, even after all that work she put in to be one of the top exorcists. She could maybe miss Heaven and even if she’s content living in Hell, a part of her will still always long to go back to what was once her home.

…But no, the entire reason she’s a fallen angel is just to create conflict between her and Charlie. And that barely lasted a whole episode.

Again, everything about her and her ‘personality’ all narrows down to Charlie. Not only is this a terrible foundation for the main couple of the series, it’s also just extremely unhealthy realistically speaking. Even episode 3 alludes to the toxicity of Vaggie thinking she has no purpose outside of helping and protecting Charlie. And I find it funny that Charlie is so taken aback, but she doesn’t actually say anything to correct Vaggie, because…it’s true.

It’s very frustrating for me to say this. Vaggie had so much potential to be at least a somewhat interesting character, but instead she’s always resorted to being Charlie’s partner/sidekick. Ik this has a lot to do with Vivziepop being terrible at writing female characters but imma be real, even Loona interests me more and they almost have the exact same traits (grumpy, aggressive, insecure, etc.)

I’m gonna try and wrap this up the best I can. Honestly guys, ship whatever you want but for me, Chaggie just has no appeal at all. For the first four episodes, I didn’t even know they were a couple. I assumed Vaggie had some sort of unrequited, unhealthy crush on Charlie. Hazbin Hotel’s writing is already kinda bad to begin with, but if I can’t tell that your main female leads are in a romantic relationship within the first few minutes of their screen-time, that’s really saying something. And I understand wanting more wlw relationships in media, but having two female characters together just for the sake of having a wlw relationship in your show is not good representation. You need to actually have chemistry between them, you need to make them compelling characters as individuals, and sadly Vaggie is too one-dimensional that, on her own, she has nothing going on, and I’m not rooting for her and Charlie.

And I’m sorry but I can already tell I’m going to cringe so hard at this ‘sexy’ duet between them next season💀

[bloogers-boogers]

Part 3 / ?? >> Previous

Lilith only tilted her head unsure as she watched the exorcist he held in his hand.

“And Adam just let you take her?”

“I did a lot of convincing but I managed,” the devil said prideful.

“Hmm…” her wife winced weird out to all this, unfamiliar and uncomfortable. She hesitantly grabbed hold from one wing and held the exorcist close to her face to examine it in detail. 

Fake curled horns, demonic looking expression as a face. Was this some sorts of mockery from heaven? Most likely.

Lucifer winced alert as he took the baby away in one swift snatch from his wife’s dangerous hold, “don’t hold her from the wing, you’ll hurt her.”

Lucifer was feeling dread from the silent gaze of his wife on Violet. He smiled realizing that all she needed was to see the beauty of her soul for Lilith to warm up. Her wife had trouble seeing the exorcists other than being just that. So this was a great opportunity to prove her wrong, and they were alone so no one else would see Violet’s face.

He gently took off the mask, revealing precious ruby eyes, pale skin, pouty lips and all brown messy short hair. Lilith gasped lightly now inspecting her in curiosity and amusement. 

“I can now see the angel in her.”

Oddly enough, this angel also looked a lot like Adam aside from the eyes of course.

“See? I told you they were all very precious.”

Lilith nodded, now feeling a wave of eagerness on wanting to carry the little angel. Those big ruby eyes calling her in ways she never expected something to capture her heart.

She made clawing hand gestures and Lucifer chuckled softly, reaching his arms out, expectantly waiting for Lilith to muster the courage to hold Violet.

Lilith bit her lip slightly nervous, she awkwardly grabbed the angel. Violet giggled, “I like your horns, miss queen!”

Lilith pupils grew twice their size with now flustered cheeks.

Oh no. The baby fever was hitting bad now.

~~~~

Lilith was doing the most out of the two. She was all over the castle trying to find things to entertain the angel, baking sweets or bringing out snacks. She even bought her a whole wardrobe of clothes.

While Lucifer and Violet sat at the reel from one of the open windows watching. Violet sitting on his lap while Lucifer rested his cheek on his palm, elbow resting on his right thigh. While both pair of eyes looked back and forth at the queen of hell trying to find a small lyre she wanted to show the angel.

It was funny for Lucifer how all of this reminded him of Eden. Back when things were wonderful and perfect. Back when Lilith and Adam would try showing off Lucifer their newfound discoveries. 

“So—“ he tried making conversation, “do you have any instrument in particular that you like? I can make you literally anything you want.”

Violet looked up at him with those big-doe eyes, “we’re not allowed to play any instrument, but Addy lets us play with his guitar sometimes.”

Lucifer smiled softly, this reminded him of Michael and how they would forbid him to do stuff as simple like playing with instruments until he finished practicing. Literally just watching from the training fields at the rest who get to do the average common things while he was out there stuck working almost with no break. Because that was considered a 'distraction'.

Soldiers and their shit rules.

“Well~ we’re not in heaven aren’t we?”

Lucifer summoned a small panel making Violet gasp intrigued by the technology, brushing her small hand on his in curiosity. The devil couldn’t help but beam prideful. He swiped left showing Vi all of the type of selections of instruments that there is.

“Anything that sparks your interest?”

“That one!” She exclaimed happily pointing at a piano. Classy.

~~~~

The day went wonderfully, Violet was a absolute sweetheart and a menace too. She burned like two pieces of furniture but that was pretty much it. 

Lilith was actually questioning if Adam had really been raising the child because of how well behaved she was. 

Lucifer has to remind her that the kid was a soldier so they really had no choice on that matter.

But anyways, every day comes to an end, and it was already hell night. They went to their room and Lilith tucked Violet in bed, read a story while he used his magic to present visuals of the tales his wife narrated. It was a magical experience for Violet. Lilith was literally stuck to Violet in a hug, nuzzling close to her as a loving mother, arms wrapped around protectively while Violet yawned tiredly.

This entire scene warmed Lucifer’s heart, oh how he’d pictured Lilith holding their child with such love. He would imagine their child to be as cute and adorable like Vi.

He sighed, before getting comfortable and wrapping his arms around Lilith. Both temporary ‘parents’ holding on to their child as a shield while falling deeply asleep.

“I miss Addy.”

With that, both demons opened their eyes while Violet snuggled closer into Lilith’s chest, squeezing her eyes tightly and letting out a small whimper.

This squeezed their heart painfully. 

At the end of it all… they weren’t her parents. 

~~~~

“I want a baby,” Lilith spat, sat down defeatedly on their couch, after coming out from a portal; returning from giving Violet back to Adam. Her palm now resting on her forehead seemingly in thought.

“I know,” Lucifer growled frustrated while rubbing furiously at his face.

It was becoming torturous now. Zero results, over too many attempts. And yet no bun in the oven.

Lilith snapped her fingers, summoning a glass of wine and standing up abruptly while the swift action startled Lucifer enough to make him fall on to the couch.

“I have an idea!”

Lucifer winced nervous for whatever idea coming out from Lilith’s desperation. It was never good, the last time this had happened she suggested to sneak into earth and steal one of the human newborns.

“And that is…?”

“Adam,” she finger gunned him as it were the best solution to their problems, taking a small sip of her glass.

“Adam?”

“Yes. Remember I told you that maybe fucking Adam is the solution to us having a baby?” 

Lucifer nodded hesitantly, but unsure, “you– want to fuck Adam?”

“No!” She exclaimed with uncharacteristic enthusiasm, before pointing at him and wink.

This only confused him even further.

“Okay.. so how is that going to work?”

“Well, at this point I’m willing to let go of the idea of carrying the baby as long as it’s ours.”

Lucifer nodded still seemingly not understanding yet still wanting to be supportive.

“And you said that all angels have both genitalia didn’t you?”

Lucifer frowned immediately in realization, “you want me to get fuck by Adam?!” He crosses his arms seemingly not believing this.

“Oh c’mon, Lucifer. You cannot tell me you never considered doing it with Adam back in the garden.”

“Yeah, but I’m the one fucking him!”

“It’ll be just like with Eve, picture it as trying to give free will to humanity again.”

“I would not do that a second time,” he huffed looking away.

Lilith thought for a few seconds, “can’t you like use your magic to implant his seed in me? And then alternate his genes with yours?”

Now this sparked Lucifer’s interest. He raised his brows stunned, “I can,” a sly smirk revealing itself in both mischievous spouses.

“But there still will be some Adam in those genes.”

“I’ll take what I can get.”

“How are we gonna get his seed without him noticing?”

“You’ll fuck him hard, baby, get him dazed the hell out,” she smiled wickedly, chuckling by the thought, “maybe even do him with one of those kinky outfits that get you wild up, full on demon form, and then leave the rest to me~”

Lucifer’s fangs exposed themselves in their full on glory mentally savoring the image.

~~~~

Lucifer bit his lip nervously watching Adam read out a few statistics about something he wasn’t really putting attention on. He was mostly focused on planning out his strategic to court Adam to bed, it’s been awhile since he tried seducing someone. And Adam, well, fuck. That’s a whole different type of difficult.

It’s like he’s about to fight off the boss level.

Suddenly right now, Adam was looking very seductive, enticing, ravishing. He glanced up with half lidded eyes, his pierce golden looking at him with boredom.

They were so beautiful. When did Adam become so appealing?

And Lucifer could feel himself wanting to melt away from his gaze.

“Are you even listening?”

Lucifer straightens himself up, readjusting his bow, “what?”

Adam rolled his eyes, “I said if you’re okay if we divide a few of the perimeters based on their ranks? It’ll be easier to target the weaker first before scaling higher ground. It’ll also let the girls give themselves a good warm up before going for the real deal.”

Lucifer gulped. He waved his hand dismissively, “do what you want with them I don’t care.”

He poofed himself as a snake and slither his way on the table to reach Adam.

The first man arched a brow suspiciously from his closeness and obviously hating the form he had taken for. 

Lucifer poofed right back to his form and now sitting comfortable; crisscrossing his legs and in front of Adam.

“You look oddly nice today~ did you get a haircut?” Lucifer purred while leaning forward on to his palms.

Adam winced disturbed and even more confused. He glanced at his clearly covered helmet with confusion and then back at him.

Before the first man was gonna retort to his comment, his attention snapped away from the king, “hey, Arabella! Don’t pull on her hair!” Watching two of the exorcists wrestling around the floor, Arabella had yanked out from the other sister a few of her strands of hair under her mask. He got up from his seat and went to separate the two. One oh them had gotten the strength to yank Adam’s helmet off by grabbing it from the horns while he was at it; his messy fluffy hair exposed to the open, it’s gotten slightly longer.

He grumbled as he held on different sides of his hands two pouty angels, “I took forever to make those damn braids!” 

Both exorcist began giggling mischievously.

“Oh haha! Really funny,” he let go of them in a huff as they flee away from his scolding glare, “assholes!”

Okay, this was Lucifer chance to make a move. 

“I can make you braid on that luscious hair~”

“And you. What the fuck with all the weird innuendos comments!” He snarled out accusingly before stomping his way to a circle of angels that were drawing on the wall!

And bending down to his knees and taking the crayons away from them, “I told you guys not to do that!”

The things Lucifer was thinking while Adam’s ass was full on— fuck was his ass always that big? were far from holy. 

He cursed Lilith for giving him an opportunity like this to visualize her ex husband in ways he shouldn’t be.

The first man look exhausted (parenthood was doing wonders on him) and could use some time to take that steam away, why not fucking him? One of the best stress relievers out there! the idea of it was also pleasuring.

He waited until Adam sat back on his seat.

“What do you want now Lucifer?” He snarled with a glare as if he was catching on to his shit.

“I want to fuck you,” he smiled as he savored Adam’s reaction. Might as well cut to the case.

Adam went from embarrassed, to absolute confusion, then turn on rubbing at his temple in frustration.

“Just fucking wonderful the devil wants to fuck me,” he muttered annoyed under a whisper, shaking his head in disbelief, “you’re fucking with me aren’t you?”

“I want to,” he said smirkingly, seeing Adam colors drain away from his face.

“You’re being serious?” 

Lucifer tilted his head slightly with sultry eyes and a still smirking face.

“Fuck no!” Adam shouted almost too loudly causing the exorcists to turns their heads at them, “fuck you! What class of sick joke is this?” He whispered angrily at him, “wasn’t enough to have both my wives now you want—… fuck.“

Lucifer licked his lips enthralled by the many conflicted emotions on the first man’s face.

“What about Lilith? Da fuck does your loyalty stand for? Are you that much of a whore?”

The devil chuckled, not offended for the derogatory remarks of his person, “she’s okay with it, I wouldn’t be asking you if she wasn’t.”

Adam scoffed incredulously, “so this is some kink of you two freaks? Go figures. Fuck you both! I bet Lilith asked you to do this! Nasty motherfuckers.”

Lucifer laughed softly, slightly nervous that Adam wasn’t so far off, “so that’s a no? Cause I can make it even more tempting for you.. what about us three? Hmm~? You, Lilith, myself… wouldn’t you love to hav-”

“Of course it’s a fucking no! You guys really think I’d have sex with you guys after everything you’ve done to me?! Who do you guys see me as? Eve?” He laughed even dryer, the images of his second ex wife flashing through his memories, “I bet this is some kinky humiliation shit, I wouldn’t be surprised if the idea of me being fucked by you turns Lilith on. Which is why she told you. Like she’s always been petty over me never submitting to her as she would’ve wanted me to back in the garden, this is like some type of payback to get under my skin. Fucking bitch.”

Adam brushed his hair to avoid strands falling on his forehead (groaning when he noticed Holly using his helmet and making bull noises while the other girls started running away from her), clearly this suggestion has stressed him out further. He was flustered and pissed off more than anything else.

Lucifer did not expect for it to be taken this negatively, after all with Eve it wasn’t like that. She was more laid back and opened minded to try new things.

However he did not like how Adam spoke about his wife, he tried to remain composed because he needed to bed Adam.

“Oh Adam please~” he purred feigning a more submissive approach. He slowly reached out to him and placed a hand on his chest, lustrous red eyes staring deeply into the golden eyes of Adam.

Adam huffed slapping his hand off him and moving away from his seat.

“Fuck you. This meeting is over I don’t give a fuck,” he took out his phone to check his recent activity, “out of all times, they don’t call me now when I honestly would love an excuse to fucking leave!” He grumbled typing on his phone.

Lucifer shape shifted as a bird and sat on his shoulder, a desperate attempt to not let the man make his exit quicker, “Adam, it’s not as bad as you think. Were mature now, what happened at the garden was so long ago! You’ll enjoy it, I promise, if you don’t want Lily in bed with us, she can just watch us?”

“You really think I’ll fuck you? Do you see yourself so high and mighty that you think capable of banging even the guy you ruined his freaking life? Do you see me as that pathetic?” He snarled, glaring at him, “and even if I did! I won’t. I’m taken.”

Lucifer brows raised up in shock, Adam looked back at his girls.

“You’re taken?!”

“Yeah. As in ‘I’m living the best life without you assholes’ type of taken,” he dryly declared while scrolling through his phone, “okay, girls, let’s get going.”

“No! Wait!!” Lucifer spat out, almost desperately, before poofing himself back to his devil form and place himself in front of the former man, “what do you mean taken? Are you still with Eve?”

Adam rolled his eyes, “it’s not Eve. It’s somebody else that doesn’t concern you,” he shoved past him and summoned a golden portal.

He gestured the girls with a snap to take their lead making them fly through the portal in a flash and into the other realm.

And with that Adam jumped in without saying goodbye.

~~~~

“He’s taken? By who? Eve got back with him? Whose dumb enough to fall for that dick?” Lilith asked incredulous to the news, pacing around the room trying to figure out now what.

“It appears it’s not Eve, it’s somebody else. Adam refused to reveal who though,” Lucifer shrugged tiredly lying in bed.

Lilith rubbed her eyes, “Adam’s most stubborn attribute is his faithfulness. We’re never gonna get him to accept on being fucked by you. Or wait until he gets dumped.”

“So does that mean plan C?”

Lilith sighed, kicking off her heels to the side and lying face down next to him in a loud thump.

“I’m not sure about what to think of some random hellborn or sinner fucking you, with Adam it seems so simple because y’know, it’s Adam?” Lilith rolled to her side now looking at him in contemplation, “as weird as that sounds, maybe it’s the familiarity. Eden was such a simple time…”

Lucifer nodded in understanding, placing his hand on hers.

“Fine. We can try a hellborn,” Lilith decided, squeezing on to his hold, “but we’re having that baby.”

~~~~

As if it were a curse, Lucifer got fuck over 500 times in the course of a few months and none were successful on getting him pregnant. This was already a sign that the problem was far more deeper and personal than what they thought was.

Maybe father had also cursed his body? Now that was twice as cruel. Unless he was incapable of creating a child himself? Being an angel conception really wasn’t a thing back then… maybe it was Lucifer the problem.

“You should give it a shot Lily, I’m exhausted,” he laid down with some limping, he was starting to feel really bad cramping on his legs with all that rough sex.

The queen hummed, nodding, while rubbing his sides to ease the tension on his body, “I assume there’s no harm on trying. But I do believe this curse was gifted for both of us.”

They look down at each other in sadness. Giving up is now starting to become a more welcoming thing to do.

A month later it was a meeting with Adam, Lucifer prepared himself before welcoming himself in a tired and downer mood at the Heaven embassy. Adam was already there, odd that he only brought five little exorcist this time. He seemed to be expressing a similar type of vibe, however irritation and anger were plaster in his features. He didn’t even bother looking up at him, just sliding the paperwork to his side.

“Someone stuck a stick up your ass?” Lucifer pointed it out as he grabbed the documents. But no response came from Adam.

“Addy got his heart broken,“ Yushiel blurted out.

Adam almost snapped his neck to glare at them, a blush forming deeply on his cheeks, “sniches!”

“Yeah, Lute, Holly and Jolice went to throw hands-“ Amalia got her mouth covered when her sister clasped a hand on it to make her shut up.

“We’re not supposed to say that!” Yushiel whispered angrily with a far from silent tone.

“Is that where they went?” Adam looked at them incredulous, “those bitches are getting so freaking grounded.”

Lucifer looked in amusement at them then at Adam, “you’re heartbroken? Did that girlfriend of yours broke up with you?” Was this a sign of growing hope he’s sensing?

Adam huffed, “boyfriend.” The first man corrected. This stunned Lucifer more than it should have. 

Oh.

“And here I thought men wouldn’t be as complicated than woman,” Adam began nagging about the situationship he had.

“Totally,” Lucifer keep blurting out words in agreement to get on his good side. This is great news! Adam is single and is very much into men, ohoho~!

He took his phone underneath the table, texting Lilith the news.

“That bitch always had something to nag about,” Adam began the first sentence of the beginning of his soon to be one-hour rambling.

‘Just like you,’ Lucifer couldn’t help but thinking while hitting the send button.

“He complained about me leaving a mess after sex, like if I was just being lazy, sometimes I just want to go straight home after a long day. A few dirty laundry here and there isn’t gonna kill him, it’s not like I wasn’t gonna go back and grab them.”

“What a fucker.”

“I know right?!” Adam exclaims, his arms in the air exasperated, “And it’s not like I didn’t have shit to tell him too! I never told him how he rarely gave time for us. He’s always fucking busy, but like, everyone in heaven is! I am! And I still manage to squeeze him in my schedule,” he kept on rambling about his issues about the unfortunate man who thought it was a good idea to mess around with Adam. A clingy individual.

“And he’s so fucking controlling, always trying to make me do shit like he wants. He was THISS close on also trying to dress me up! I will never use a suit I don’t care what fucking meeting it is! Fucker. Okay, fine. I may had dressed up for the occasion but thats it. I’m no bitch.

But I’m a caring boyfriend, and this dude just couldn’t handle my awesomeness so he had to try changing every bit of my essence,”

“So overbearing.”

“Yes! Fuck thats what I was telling him!!”

The devil kept saying ‘no way’ ‘fuck’ ‘what a dick’ ‘you deserve better’ ‘good, tell him what’s up’ ‘such an asshole, you dealt with that?’ to everything Adam was saying.

“-it’s like everyone I’m with is trying to find something on me to excuse themselves from leaving!”

Lucifer nodded without listening while reading Lilith’s message.

>>Snatch that ass I’ll prepare the room.<< 

He smiled pleased.

“They like antagonizing me to make themselves look good, look less like a dick but they’re all fucking lying, backstabbing cunts!

Empty promises and sweet talking don’t do shit nowadays.”

The ranting took over like 20 minutes before Adam began sniffling while summoning his third plate of ribs, chewing them loudly with no care of the world, mouth full and face (mask?) filled with sauce.

“And that’s why my life sucks,” his eyes went big and watery but no tears fell down.

Lucifer sighed, intertwining his fingers while looking seriously at the first man. As if he was about to offer him the most life changing deal of his life.

“Well, Adam. The only solution here is for us to fuck.”

“Huh?” The first man almost chocked on a piece of the rib he was eating. He did not expect that.

“Think about it, don’t you want to get back at him? It seems like he didn’t appreciate you…” he slithered his way right next to him whispering into his ear with a hungry smirk, sending Adam a few chills down his spine, his hot breath against his neck, “someone like the first man deserves someone more of his rank~” he kept lying through his teeth.

They didn’t call him the king of lies for nothing.

Adam scoffed still food in his mouth, “so you’re saying I’m a wife stealing bitch? I have standards you know?”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes but immediately covered his irritation with feigned sweetness.

“Besides, what makes you think I’d slept with a low class angel?”

This made him lift a brow skeptical.

“Then who did you sleep with~?” The devil purred, following along with whatever bullshit Adam was spitting out from his mouth.

“Archangel Michael,” Adam stated with a smug smile and sharp eyes.

Lucifer happy expression fell completely, the act breaking down while all the colors drained out of his entire body.

“I also dated Azrael but we didn’t last long because Michael swoop me up,” the first man shrugged now vanishing his plate in thin air.

Lucifer’s mouth was hung open, eyes widen like plates. The devil looked at the girls in disbelief expecting confirmation of this even being true and only Yushiel thumbed up in ‘yup, pretty much’ in response.

To be continued??

[xxlemon-chanxx]

On the spicier side, ever thought about doing a full NSFW alphabet for Beardo Philip?

Sorry this took me so long! I was having a lot of trouble with some of these lol

Anyways, NSFW alphabets for Philip and Belos!

Philip NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I hate to say this, but nonexistent. He's incredibly rough with S/O and then he leaves them to be sore and shaking while he goes off and does…whatever the hell he thinks needs to be done. The only time the effort for aftercare is made is in two scenarios:

• The S/O is VISIBLY pregnant with his child

Or

Philip is so rough with S/O that he feels he must do general maintenance to not have his partner break on him.

Unfortunately, Philip is really shitty and neglectful towards his lovers

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Anything that's chubby—stomachs, breasts, thighs, etc… being plump or chubby was considered very attractive I'm Philip’s time, so I imagine that he would enjoy the warmth and softness that comes from having a partner with excess fat on them. He loves to bury his face in S/O’s breasts/bosom or their belly. He loves to grab handfuls of it with his hands and knead and squeeze it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He paints S/O. Whether it be on the inside or out, he enjoys seeing them quivering as he pumps his length, aiming towards whatever spot he hasn't covered yet.

D = Dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

Philip keeps a secret “sin journal” of all of the fantasies he wishes he could make a reality with S/O but refuses to actually do it in real life because it goes against what he believes is “proper.”

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's most likely a virgin before he meets S/O. His experience is limited to what S/O is willing to show him and how much he is willing to LEARN from them. He's stubborn, rude, and needs to have things done his way. He's a very selfish lover, is what I'm trying to say in so many words.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary. He will change it up sometimes, but usually when he does it's because he feels too ashamed by his urges to want to look S/O in the eye, so he’ll push them face-down on whatever surface is available and fuck them that way.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

He's usually very serious. Very rarely is lovemaking something he’s playful for. When he is loving, he practically WORSHIPS S/O, but for the most part, he's usually all business and no play. Puritans, am I right?

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I've made another post about this, but no…he’s not well-groomed at all. He actually has a constant dirt cloud swirling around him like Pig-Pen from Charlie Brown. When Lilith punched him in the nose, she kicked up a small flurry of grime that swirled around his head for hours. His hair is greasy and probably has a dead moth somewhere in it, and he smells like he would hiss and scurry to hide if someone held up a soap bar.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

He's either very emotionally detached or he's angry-fucking. Philip hates the idea that he's succumbing to his lesser impulses when he's having sex. The only exception to this is if him and S/O are properly married, ONLY THEN he will allow himself to be more emotionally present and warm towards his partner.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He does not, and he actively forbids his S/O from masturbating either. Sits down with S/O and makes them pray with him if he catches them doing it. Continues to shame them after.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding. He loves the idea of getting his partner pregnant and making lots of babies. A strong bloodline needs lots of healthy babies.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

This is really funny, but considering we see Philip’s home is mostly stationed in a cave, that's also where I headcanon he's most willing to do the deed. He doesn't like staying in towns in the Boiling Isles because of the denizens, so he's going to stick to the series of cave hideouts that he's carved out across his journey in the Demon Realm. Philip shagging on a cave floor is just really funny to me.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Stress. He's most likely to seek out his partner for sex if he's under an insane amount of stress. Something about all of that stress boiling over REALLY puts him in the mood to angry-fuck to get all of his frustration out.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

He would hate not being the dominant one. He NEEDS that control over the situation because God forbid he gets caught unawares or someone is able to have an iota of power over him. He likes holding all the Aces. He won't even entertain the idea of his partner PRETENDING to be the dominant one for the evening. Its also partially an ego thing.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

This is similar to masturbation. He doesn't, whether that's giving or receiving. His view on sex is very narrow and he's very resistant to trying new things. He doesn't give oral and he's downright offended if his partner asks him to go down on them.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough. This ties back in to the “angry-fuck” or “stress-fuck” idea, but he really does treat these things as annoying urges that he should get over with so he can go back to ignoring them.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

kind of self-explanatory lol. He doesn't do slow and sensual sessions. Every time he fucks his S/O it's like he's speedrunning.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

No. He doesn't really want to differ from what he deems as “appropriate.”

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

His rounds never last too long, but he usually has at least two or three in him before he's done. So think three nuts over the course of 7 minutes.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

No, kind of self-explanatory.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

His ‘teasing’ is very mean. Borderline insulting with what he says. He's very much the type to use abusive language and then frame it like his partner is the one in the wrong for being upset over it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's very quiet, but the sounds he does make are very ragged. A lot of grunts and growls. Occasionally he’ll mutter something like “take it” or “c’mon,” but for the most part it's silent with the occasional grunt.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

If Philip accidentally hurts his S/O during sex, he’ll actually take the time to take care of them until it was clear they were going to be okay. Puritans were very much against physical spousal abuse, so he’s not going to raise a hand to you to hurt you intentionally if it's not a situation where he deems death as being the only resort.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's not particularly muscular, but he doesn't look emaciated either. He has some clear definition where you can see his ribs poking out, but he also has a bit of a gut. For anyone who doesn't know, if you’re malnourished, that can cause a lot of problems for your gut health, which can lead to inflammation and swelling, which results in a distended, rounder belly. Because Philip has a completely messed up eating schedule where his body never knows what it's gonna get or when it's gonna get it, he is showing some signs of malnutrition.

And of course, he's covered in dark, curly hair, and some spots where his veins would be showing are subtly tinted that sickly cursed green.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Non-existent until it's there. Anyone with ADD or autism may be able to relate to this, but it’ll very much be like when you go a day without eating and then have your body scream at you at 2am because it's starving. Essentially that. He doesn't feel the urge to engage (and is actually generally repulsed when his S/O tries to instigate) until it hits him like a truck at the most inopportune times.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He’s either awake for several hours after or he conks out immediately. It entirely depends on if he was in the middle of something when he felt the urge.

Belos NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He's actually incredibly good at aftercare, which is surprising. Whether it be massaging a sore muscle, cuddling, drawing a bath for S/O, or anything else they need done.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Same as Philips, anything soft and squishy, so stomach, tits, etc

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

As much as he would love to paint his partner like he used to be able to, his shots don't have the same oomph that they used to. Cum just sort of oozes out in waves. He’ll likely pull out just enough so the head of his cock is slowly leaking onto his S/O’s entrance before pushing back in.

D = Dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

He enjoys subtly guilting S/O into putting on “special outfits” for him when they’ve been “misbehaving” in his eyes (aka not blindly listening to what he says). He likes to make sure he gets what he wants in the least confrontational way.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's not very experienced before meeting S/O, but he's very eager to learn and he's very gentle, so even his most noticeable shortcomings in the bedroom are more endearing than anything else.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes S/O on his lap facing him. His hand finds its way to their lower back and firmly presses their hips against his. Even after completion he could sit like that for hours with them.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Still kind of serious, but it's more light-hearted and loving than what Philip would be. He can whisper in S/O’s ear, call them little endearments, make little quips here and there depending on how noisy/responsive his partner is, etc.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's immaculate. He's the emperor. He lives in a massive castle with dozens of people waiting on him hand and foot, there's not a chance in hell that man is not the most well-groomed man on the boiling isles.

His hair on his chest and naval is going to be patchy because there are several scars on his body (both from his curse and otherwise) that leave bare patches of skin where hair doesn't grow

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Super gentle and compassionate. I headcanon that Belos will actually be so gentle that it's maddening. He actually has to hush his S/O because they will often whimper and beg for him to please go harder/faster and he just…doesn’t. He likes his pace. It gets him where he needs to be by the end of the night and he doesn't have to worry about throwing out his old man back.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Unfortunately, he’s still a lot like Philip in this regard. He doesn't masturbate and he doesn't believe his S/O should either. But, instead of shaming his S/O if he catches them, like younger Philip would have, he takes it as a sign that he's neglecting them, and immediately interrupts them to “fulfill their needs for them.”

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks

Once again breeding. Man loves the idea of his partner having babies.

Now there's an added worship kink. He loves tracing his beloved’s body with his lips and lingering on the parts he likes the most.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom. He's a very private man and doesn't even want to RISK the chance of being spotted doing the do out in public. Imagine the scandal and shame.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Sometimes seeing his partner naked is enough to get that ball rolling, other times it can be something as simple as his partner sensually tracing his shoulders and spine as they pass by that make him ready for action.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Being totally submissive. He could NEVER be fully submissive. He doesn't feel safe not having some semblance of control. Even if he trusted S/O more than he's trusted anybody in his life, it's not enough for him to be completely at their mercy. He will always need one hand on the wheel.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Will most definitely need to be coaxed into it, but if his partner frames it as something popular that human’s do in modern times, he *might* be convinced to try it out. He might even like it! Even if he does like giving/receiving, that will have to be for very specific circumstances.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual babyyyyyy

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Sometimes he likes to get a load out before he has to start his day. Morning wood and all. Definitely at least a weekly occurrence.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Anything Belos experiments with are things his S/O pleaded with him to try. He's a very old man who is mostly blind to the world of sex.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

One and the round will last around ten minutes.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

No.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Again, he likes to tease when his partner is begging him to go faster/harder. He absolutely refuses to be any faster than a snail's pace.

“My my, someone is impatient.”

“Don’t rush, darling. Enjoy this time with me.”

“Be at ease, my sweet. There's no need to fuss.”

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Very quiet with the slightest moans and gasps.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He reaaallly enjoys praying in the bedroom. I once had the headcanon that he prays in Latin and I have not since been able to imagine a sex scene with him where he doesn't sing praises to the heavens in Latin at least once.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Slender, but with old man sagginess on his abdomen, under his arms, etc. His scar wraps around him like a spiral with branches, cutting across his chest, naval, one branching down his arm and another one halfway down one thigh.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He will want sex at least 4-5 times a week, maybe less if he's incredibly busy.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

If it's a nightly fuck, he's out like a light as soon as he's finished with aftercare.

[candyhoiic]

Edit: I added some more details at the beginning

Beginning Notes:

Welcome back to my rambles of what it might look like if Adam and Lilith switched places in Hazbin Hotel!

In my last post, I described how I pictured their dynamic in Eden might have played out in the beginning, and then how the additional presence of Lucifer would affect their relationship.

For this post, I'm simply going to start where I left off! So, for the ease of access, I'll be linking my previous and first post of this series at the end of this post. Just in case you want to check them out or need a quick refresher!

TW: minor suggestive content, I describe their sex life in general but it's not graphic. I'm not writing smut lol sorry

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Okay so little recap!

As I said before, their relationship was at its healthiest after they accepted Lucifer offer to act as a buffer for them during sexual intercourse. With him at first simply talking them through it, and then from there he would gradually start to non-invasively touch them- with their consent of course.

He would use these touches to help promote cooperation between the two. So, they would work together towards their shared completion instead of fighting one another for dominance. Although after a while these touches would become more teasing as their relationship expanded. Lucifer not only trying to guide them with his touches but also excite them as well as to satiate his own curiosities.

After all, Lucifer had never laid with another despite knowing of sex. As he never really had the need given the main purpose of such acts were to reproduce which seraphim didn't have to worry about. If they needed more seraphim, they would simply be created.

However, he found himself wanting to have a sexual connection with Lilith and Adam. Not because he wanted to reproduce- obviously, but because it made him feel closer to them. To him it was yet another way he could express his care for them. Besides he also learned firsthand how pleasurable the act could be for all parties involved when done correctly.

Their newfound cooperation in their sex life transferred to other aspects of their life as well. With Adam and Lilith forming a special connection. Now it wasn't the traditional relationship you expect of a husband and wife, but it was undeniably what worked best for them. While Lucifer acted more like a more traditional romantic partner, Adam and Lilith acted more like friends for the most part.

Although they crossed the line of mere friendship a long time ago with them both being sexually involved with one another. However, even 'friends with benefits' wasn't the right term for their relationship. There were too many feelings between them. They had too much of a connection with each other to be just that. After all, they were literally made for each other.

So, while they weren't exactly in love with each other, they did love one another in their own way. Slowly, learning there were other ways to love someone. Lucifer helping them to understand love wasn't a purely romantic concept, it could be platonic or somewhere in between. And so, with experimentation, they slowly but surely found a balance they were comfortable with. The two gradually coming to terms with their relationship.

They accepted it wasn't ever going to be 'normal' and made peace with neither of them being the dominant one. They allowed themselves to actually relax in each other's presence and simply enjoy exploring their expanding relationship. It was a process to figure out their boundaries and expectations for one another, and of course they were setbacks at time. But it paid off with the two of them being able to hang out without needing Lucifer to act as a buffer.

They learned to not only stand one another but enjoy it. One way they spent time together was preforming duets together. With Adam's skill at playing practically any instrument and Lilith's gorgeous singing voice, they were able to produce such sweet melodies together. During one of these times, their eyes would meet, and both would be shocked to see the soft look the other directed their way.

It was the type of look Lucifer would give them when they did something particularly endearing. It was the same look they would also give him at times, but it was never a look they gave one another. Still neither broke eye contact as they carried on with their current song, hardly noticing as they grew closer to one another. Their steps follow the rhythm of their duet with both of them softly swaying to and from each step.

They weren't exactly sure what they were doing- later they would call it dancing. And that would be the first time they actually named something together without arguing.

Regardless, neither one of them were eager to break whatever spell fell over them. So, they continued to dance. Their bodies move harmoniously with one another and yet neither lead the other. They were free to move however they liked with only the beat commanding them to stay in time with one another. Their dancing slowly guides them ever closer as matching smiles light up their faces.

They don't stop moving towards one another until their chest to chest. At one point, Adam's instrument had gone slack in his hand while he sang the last bit of the song with Lilith. His voice wasn't nearly as smooth as the others, but neither seemed to care as their voices were still able to pleasantly melt together. Neither voice overpowering the other as their voices tempered off together signaling the end of the song.

Still neither made a move to step back. Their eyes still locked, blue skies meeting the soft browns of earth. Two very different colors and yet no one could deny they belong together. Neither knows who started to lean in first, but the next moment, their lips brushed softly together. Clumsily melding together in a sweet unhurried manner as they simply appreciated the warmth that ran through them at the contact. And soon their arms would encircle one another in a gentle embrace as they continued to kiss. Not to procreate, not for dominance, simply because they wanted to.

Their kisses would remain innocent while they slowly lowered to the ground with the soft grass cradling their intertwined bodies. It was there they would stay cuddling each other as they continued to exchange kisses until their lips were both pink and puffy. Eventually, they would go back to singing. This time a different melody as they laid side by side, and that's how the rest of their day was spent until Lucifer came back to them.

The seraphim returns from Heaven to the sight of both his beloveds sleeping soundly. Their forms still pressed against one another in a lover's embrace.

There would be other incidents, where Lilith and Adam would spend time alone simply appreciating each other's presence. Although those times were slowly becoming less and less as Lucifer seemed to leave for heaven less. Not that neither of them were complaining! While they both may now be able to actually stand each other without him, that didn't mean they cared for the seraphim any less. He was as much of a part of their relationship as either of them were no matter what anyone else thought.

They didn't care if it wasn't in god's plan for it to be Adam, Lilith, and Lucifer because they decided that's exactly how it was supposed to be in their book...

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Any possible consequences of this decision were far from any of their minds. Blinded by their happiness, the three grew careless and slowly heaven grew suspicious. Sera noted Lucifer's absence, and it didn't sit right with her. Naturally, she brought her concerns to the other seraphim and eventually the archangels were also paying closer attention to Lucifer spending more time in Eden. It got to the point, he was there more than he was in heaven, and while they should have been glad he was taking his duties so seriously, no one could deny it was odd.

However, it was Sera who discovered exactly what was keeping Lucifer away. While the others were content to simply wait for Lucifer to return for answers, she was too worried. She just knew something was wrong, and fearing the worst she took it upon herself to use an unauthorized all seeing orb to check on her fellow seraphim. She was in no way expecting the image which greeted her. She had expected to see Lucifer, not Adam or Lilith, and certainly not any of them in such a scandalous position.

In her shocked state she continued watching, hoping that she was wrong. Hoping the situation playing out before her would somehow right itself, but there was no way that anything could fix what she was seeing. The three of them were in the middle of being intimate. There was no point in denying it now, and so once her brain finally caught up with her, she immediately vanquished the orb.

She knew she wasn't meant to watch such sinful behavior, she also knew she had not had permission to use the orb in the first place. However, she couldn't simply just let this continue. So, she rushed off to group up the other seraphim, which led to them going to the archangels. The gathered angels swiftly came to the decision that Sera and two other seraphim would visit Eden immediately. They were to confirm what Sera saw and talk to the three before bringing Lucifer back with them so they could decide on his punishment.

When they arrived at Eden, the three they were looking for had just finished their activity, but still it was easy to see that Sera had indeed seen correctly. The fact that Lucifer was still not fully robed yet, making that as clear as day. However, Sera still gave them a chance to deny the accusation. She secretly hoped they would, but to her growing horror Lucifer did not; Adam and Lilith followed suit.

Instead of any of them expressing even an ounce of guilt over their wrongdoing they argued they had done nothing wrong. They even expressed they all loved one another. That was the final nail on the coffin. Sera had heard enough as well of the other seraphim, they asked Lucifer to come with them and he agreed. Although both of the first humans clearly didn't want him to. Both had even stepped in front of him as if attempting to shield him from the other angel's ire.

These poor souls Sera had thought. Just how much had he tainted them?

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Adam and Lilith could do nothing when Lucifer inevitably went with the other seraphim back to Heaven. The two of them holding each other in their shared worry with their other third. Whatever was happening didn't seem good at all. Both of them still felt bitter remembering how Sera had looked at them as if there was something inherently wrong with them both. Although beneath the bitter resentment neither could deny they were also scared.

Would Sera replace them?

She had mentioned it before when they wouldn't procreate. And now that it was clear that she didn't approve of how they solved their initial problem, they were at fear once more that they would be replaced. However, it was out of their hands now so they simply continued to cling to one another as their thoughts turned to their shared worries over what would happen to Lucifer.

Sure neither of them were any more comfortable with the thought of being replaced as they had been, but at least they still had each other for now. Meanwhile the other was all alone in heaven going through who knows what. Guilt and worry were quick to fill their souls.

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While up in heaven, Lucifer wasn't feeling much better. However, he was less worried over his impending trial than he was for what would become of Adam and Lilith. He had been the one to propose the idea of getting involved with their love life. He didn't want them to be punished for something he suggested. Even if he was still unsure of what was so wrong with it to begin with. He had done his job and kept them happy.

Was it really so wrong that he had fallen for them along the way? How could something as pure as love be proclaimed as wrong?

He just didn't know.

Unfortunately, he seemed to be one of the minority who felt that way. At his trial, it was clear they had already made their judgment before it began. The angels who mattered were not swayed in the least by his defense. Even as some other angels sitting in on the court meeting voiced their own support over Lucifer.

The fight was lost before it began and he was sentenced to a human lifetime on Earth to reflect on his wrong doings. If he truly repented after his sentence was up then he would be allowed to come back to Heaven but until then he was not allowed in Heaven nor Eden. His wings would also be locked away into his body with him unable to call upon them for aid, and before the day was up, he fell.

The whole process wasn't as painful as one would think. In fact, the angels had been disarmingly gentle. At most he felt discomfort when his wings were bound, he only felt slight pain when he fell even. His landing was softer than it should have been. He expected it was due to whatever little favor and connection he still had with Heaven that kept him from being harmed to the full amount.

However, nothing was able to soothe his worries over what would happen to Adam and Lilith. So, despite everything he began to search for Eden, his sentencing be damned. He would be reunited with them. He promised to watch after them and their happiness, and despite whatever Heaven might think, he was no liar.

🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸

Time of heaven and time of Eden didn't exactly correlate so Adam and Lilith spent a whole week not hearing anything from Heaven. Not knowing of what became of Lucifer. At that time, the two barely slept or ate. They were only somewhat functional due to the other worrying over them, and reminding one another they had to stay strong for Lucifer. Although it seemed to be all for not when Sera and a new group of seraphim returned but no Lucifer.

Despite Adam's pride he openly wept knowing exactly what Lucifer's absence implied. He was gone. And while Lilith came to a similar conclusion she would not weep instead she openly glared at the approaching angels while hiding Adam's face in the crook of her neck. However, these angels still had the gall to sadly smile at them as if they were the ones in the wrong. As if they were both just a pair of misbehaving children.

Lilith did not care for the condescension one bit, but didn't speak out as she hushed her husband as best she could. She wasn't the most maternal being but she did her best.

Sera was the first to speak, explaining how everything was fine now. Adam's sadness seemed to transform into rage at her words as the man ripped his face away from Lilith's comforting form to also glare with teary eyes set ablaze. Immediately, asking for what had become of Lucifer, but any attempt for information about the other was shut down. Sera would clearly not divulge anything except that he wouldn't be able to further corrupt them anymore.

It was Lilith's turn to speak as she laughed with cold derision, arguing Lucifer had done no such thing, but Sera simply gave a patient smile. She wouldn't argue with either of them, but it was clear she didn't believe in Lucifer's innocence either.

Instead of further humoring either of them, she moved onto inform them that they had done nothing wrong and would not face any punishment. Explaining how the archangels had agreed it was only due to Lucifer's temptation that they were tricked to stray from god's path. As long as they continued to not partake from the fruit of good and evil they were allowed to stay. Then, she left along with the other seraphim.

Adam and Lilith both should have felt relief, but neither felt anything but cold. Both of them remained to cling to each other, joining together in solemn grief over what the angels had done to their other third.

🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸🐤🍎🎸

A/N:

One down to two go :)

Just to be clear Lucifer has fallen, but hasn't had the fall yet. Our boy was simply put in Heaven's version of a time out corner, but as we all know he will fall to Hell eventually just not yet.

Next time, I'll explain how Lilith and Adam cope with Lucifer's banishment and I'm hoping to also cover some more characters falling from grace hehe Eve will also probably make appearance in my next rambles too.

So, yeah I'm just about done covering the main points of what happened in Eden in my version of this Au.

Links:

Previous Post

First Post

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

Alastor actually forgot he had tattoos. Not until a stupid dare from his canon self from his winning round of cards made him look like a quote on quote ruffian. Which just meant taking on his uniform coat and taking off one of his favorite vests. Not part of the uniform too, but he did so love that beautiful Mahogany red with Berry red striped vest. And of course to sell the part, he took a page out of his Husker’s book and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.

Which is where it led to him now. Shirtless, letting the others stare at his tattoos and scars. Part of him was suddenly happy Blueberry and the highschoolers were playing Minecraft with the Charlies.

He stayed still the best he could while the others grabbed his arms to stare at the inking. He did jump slightly when he suddenly felt the claw tip of one of the Voxes trace along the body of the golden serpent on his left arm. Based on the missing hat he could catch in the corner of his eye, it was Swap Vox. It had caught his Swap counterpart too, who peeked around his Vox.

“How did you get that one? It’s so shiny looking compared to the others.” Swap Alastor asked, curious as the cat.

“This old thing?” Alastor pulled his arm back, twisting his arm to see how the gold ink seemed to glimmer in the light. “It’s my contract tattoo from Lucifer”

“You sold your soul to Lucifer? Why?”

“Not really selling my soul pre-say, I made a deal with Lucifer. Why, I will keep private mainly, but he did offer me power that many sinners dream of hmhmhmhm” Alastor laughed near the end, a coy smile playing on his lips as locked eyes with Canon who seemed to seethe with that acknowledgement.

Ah the small joys in the world, one may say.

“But anyway, when we shook hands on it and a snake appeared, it slithered along my arm before sinking its fangs into my flesh and-Poof. Contract sealed” Alastor explained, “And in the sealed contract wake, it left this beautiful golden delight on my arm. Funny to think I used to loathe this thing.” He stretched his arm out, watching as it looked like the inked serpent seemed to move on his skin. Of course, it actually doesn’t move, it is merely his eyes playing tricks on him. Shockingly enough.

“Despite knowing you are the family’s guard, it still shocks me to learn this. Lucifer. Of all people” Dadstaticradio Alastor spoke up.

“Well, it was not like Lilith was an option, given the fact the women disappeared and has been gone for who knows how long” Alastor spat, trying his best to hide the venom in his tone.

Dadstaticradio Alastor opened his mouth to say something before turning his head to clear his throat. “Right of course, apologies” He muttered.

“Yeah yeah, cool, cool, who cares about that, I wanna know what is with the weird scar on your-”

“Hey!” Swap Alastor was quick to interrupt Canon Vox.

He used the table as leverage, to lean forward and press a finger on Alastor’s pec. “What is with that tattoo? Why do you have a little heart key hole thing tattoo?”

Alastor squinted, confusion written on his face. Keyhole heart tattoo? What was he-

“And why is there like…, Vox those are circuits under it right?” Swap Alastor asked, moving a bit for his Vox to take a look at the tattoo.

“Yeah, those are circuits. Why would you have a tattoo-”

Alastor tuned out everything else. Fuck.

He forgot about that tattoo. He got it when he was drunk and when Angel brought over his friend Cherri Bomb in his universe. She was practicing tattoo inking, Angel offered him because Alastor already had tattoos so he was used to the pain of the inking pen, and after some poking and trying to sketch it out, Alastor got that.

A drunken mistake, okay not really, of a tattoo because he was sad that day because he MISSED A CERTAIN SOMEONE BECAUSE HE JUST HAPPENED TO REMEMBER IT WAS WHEN HE FIRST FUCKING MET HIM AND THAT WAS KIND OF LIKE THEIR ANNIV-

He looked up, which may have been a mistake, as when he did he could see the gears practically turning into the Secretly married duo’s head. Processing slowly turned into smug knowingness and Alastor felt his face turn scarlet.

Without missing a beat, Alastor bolted, making up a small excuse that he believes he heard his Charlie call for him and just sped walked out of there. He spent the rest of the night with the other Charlies, Blueberry and the highschooler Alastor and Vox. Praying the other Voxes and Alastors, mainly Secretly married, would forget about the tattoo come morning.

….

They did not.

“If only he could see

How special you can be

If he only knew the you that we know~!”

Secretly Married Alastor and Vox sang in unison, gripping onto the Radio Guard’s shoulders before bursting into laughter.

“I hate you both.” He finally mustered to say, cheeks a rosey red. “You both remind me of Rosie, but worse somehow”

“Oh, come on, don’t be so rude. We both think it is so sweet you still have feelings for him, no matter how hard you try to block your heart off with rage.”

“To be fair I have my reasons. Still.”

“Yes, yes, we are not denying that fact. But maybe soon you two will work it out fully. Oh Al darling, wouldn’t it be cute if they got matching tattoos”

“Of very much indeed, my dear Voxy. Why you could even use your precious little heart tattoos as a blueprint for your Vox’s tattoo”

“What about matching tattoos?” the Radio Guard’s Vox poked his head in, confusion written on his face. “I poke Al’s radio signal and got greeted with an elk scream soo what is going on?”

“Your Alastor has a special little tattoo to-”

Before either could finish, Alastor threw them back with manifested tentacles before next to his Vox suddenly, blocking the doorway with his body.

“Nothing! Everything is fine!” Alastor said quickly before composing himself. “Do apologize for the elk scream, but come! Since you are here, let us go on a walk”

Before Vox could question anything, Alastor gripped him by the hand and pulled him along. As far, far away as possibly from the married couple.

Bonus:

“Vox you are tracing my tattoos”

“I know”

“Why?”

“I like them. Much as I hate to say it, my canon self was right, they make you hot”

“...Simp”

“Hee-Hey? What’s with this heart tattoo”

“Uh…”

“It has a keyhole on it and…circuits under..it…”

“...”

“...”

“Wow you weren’t kidding when you said you didn’t hate me. Dare I say hehehe, you still are head over heels for me~”

“...”

“Heh, kidding kidding. I know I may never cross over that bridge again, but what even is the meaning of that-”

“And if I said I did still have feelings for you, that they are so locked in my heart the memories we share bring me such joy and sorrowful pain I wanna cry, would you believe me?”

“...What?”

“Nothing, pardon me. I have to go. I will speak to you later Vox.”

“Wait! Al! Get back here! Explain yourself!”

---

Hehehe :3

-⚔️ anon

It was so wholesome and then you broke my heart again at the end 😭

Radioguard Vox just immediately hearing an elk scream while trying to check in is so funny I wish I could've seen his face when that happened

[layce2015]

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Masterlist

*3rd Person POV*

Sam, who appeared drunk, was playing pool with a man from the bar. "Brian, come on, man, just one more. Just -- just give me a chance to win it back." Sam tells Brian. "It's your cash." Brian said just as Dean and (y/n) comes in and go over to Sam.

"Excuse me. My brother's a little sauced to be making bets." Dean tells Brian. "He insisted." Brian said, nodding towards Sam. "Yeah, but you've already taken, what, two bills off him? I'm just saying." (Y/n) said. "Hey, shut up, guys. I'm fine." Sam shouts at them. "No, you're not fine. You're drunk!" Dean said and Sam turns to Brian.

"Let's make it five hundred." He said. "Five hundred?" Dean and (y/n) said, shocked, but Brian seemed intrigued. "Sure." He said and Sam puts the money down on the pool table. "Five hundred. Your break." Brian said then looks down. 

While Brian is looking down, Sam raises his eyebrows at Dean and (y/n). For a second there's no trace of drunkenness. The two raise their eyebrows at Sam. Sam breaks, sinking several balls, then sees Ruby across the bar. "Keep the money." Sam said as he puts his cue down on the pool table and walks towards Ruby. "Keep the money? What --" Dean said and he and (y/n) follow Sam.

"Hey." Sam said to Ruby. "Well, you got a lot of nerve showing up anywhere near me." Dean growls at her. "Dean..." (y/n) said, apprehensive. "I just have some info, and then I'm gone." Ruby said. "What is it?" Sam asked her. "I'm hearing a few whispers." She replied and Dean rolls his eyes. "Ooh, great, demon whisperers -- that's reliable." Dean said, sarcastically, and Ruby ignores him.

"Girl named Anna Milton escaped from a locked ward yesterday. The demons seem pretty keen on finding her. Apparently, some real heavy hitters turned out for the Easter-egg hunt." She explains. "Why? Who is she?" (Y/n) asked, curiously. "No idea." Ruby replied then she turns back to Sam. "But I'm thinking that she's important, 'cause the order is to capture her alive. I just figured that whatever the deal is, you might want to find this girl before the demons do." She said and Sam turns to Dean and (y/n).

"Look, maybe we should check it out." Sam said to Dean. "Actually, we're working a case, but thanks." Dean said to Ruby. "What case?" she asked. "Uh, we've got leads, big leads." Dean said as Sam and (y/n) roll their eyes. "Sounds dangerous." Ruby said, sarcastically. "Yeah, well, it sure ain't goose-chasing after some chick who, for all we know, doesn't even exist, just because you say she's important." Dean said.

"I'm just delivering the news. You can do whatever you want with it. Far as I'm concerned, I told you, I'm done." Ruby said and she starts to turn to leave. "Wait, wait, wait." Sam said and Ruby turns back to her. "This hospital Anna escaped from -- it got a name?" Sam asked her.

*(y/n)'s POV*

Dean was driving while Sam is speaking on his phone while I sit in the backseat and look over some information on my laptop. "Can I get a copy of the missing persons report? Great. Okay. Thanks." Sam said into the phone then he hangs up.

"Well, Anna Milton's definitely real." Sam said. "Don't mean the case is real. And this hospital's a three-day drive." Dean said and I raise my head up. "We've driven further for less, Dean." I tell him and he shakes his head. "You got something to say, say it." Sam said, annoyed. "Oh, I'm saying it -- this sucks." Dean stated.

"You're not pissed we're going after the girl. You're pissed Ruby threw us the tip." Sam said. "Right. 'Cause as far as you're concerned, the hell-bitch is practically family. Yeah, boy, something major must've happened while I was downstairs, 'cause I come back, and -- and you're BFF with a demon?" Dean asked him. "I told you, Dean, she helped me go after Lilith." Sam said, defensively.

"Well, thanks for the thumbnail -- real vivid. You want to fill in a little detail?" Dean asked and I furrow my brow at this. Little hypocritical there, Dean I thought and it seemed Sam had the same thought. "Sure, Dean, let's trade stories. You first. How was Hell? Don't spare the details." Sam yells and Dean stays quiet.

The rest of the ride had this tension in the air that was thick you could cut a knife with it. Sometimes, I wish these two would quit fighting, it is getting very tiresome.

"Of course I want to help however I can." the psychologist said after we arrive to the hospital and sit in his office. "Now, the orderly has no recollection of Anna's escape?" Sam asked him. "Apparently, she knocked him unconscious. The blow caused some amnesia. He doesn't even remember coming into her room." The Psychologist replied. "That's a hell of a right hook to knock out a guy that's got 80 pounds on her." Dean said.

"We think she may have planned this, waited behind the door." The Psychologist said. "Right. Uh, you mentioned Anna's illness was recent." I said, questioning. "Two months ago, she was happy, well-adjusted, journalism major, lots of friends -- Bright future." He said.

"So, what happened -- she just...flipped?" Dean asked. "Well, that's the tragedy of schizophrenia. Within weeks, Anna was overtaken by delusions." The Psychologist said. "What kind of delusions?" Sam asked. "She thought demons were everywhere." The Psychologist said and he gives a sketch book to Sam, where we see very weird drawings of random things.

"Interesting." I muttered. "It's not uncommon for our patients to believe that monsters are real." The Psychologist said. "Well, that -- that's just batty." Dean said as Sam turns the pages and we see some meaningful sketches and the text Raising of the Witnesses and in the next page Samhain the next seal is broken. "That's Revelations." Dean pointed out after looking at the page. 

"Since when does the Book of Revelations have jack-o'-lanterns?" the Psychologist asked, nodding at the drawings. "It's a, uh, it's a little-known translation." I said. "Well, Anna's father was a church deacon. When she became ill, her paranoia took on religious overtones. She was convinced the devil was about to rise up and end the world. I hope you find her. It's dangerous for her to be out there alone right now." the Psychologist said and we nod.

Later, we make it to the Milton house and Dean knocks on the front door, but no one answers. "Maybe they're not home." Dean said and Sam looks over at the driveway. "Both cars in the driveway." He said and I go to open the door, only for it to open easily. I turn to the boys, giving them a confused look, then we enter the house.

"Mr. And Mrs. Milton?" Dean calls out as we walk in. "We're from the sheriff's department. We just wanted to ask you a couple of questions." Sam said but we stop in the living room. There is where the two dead bodies of Mr and Mrs Milton lie on the floor. Their throats had been cut.

"Damn." I muttered, horrified, as Sam checks some powder on the floor near the dead bodies. "Sulfur. The demons beat us here. Whatever the deal is with this Anna girl --" Sam said. "Yeah, they want her. They're not screwing around." Dean said and I walk around the room.

"All right, so, I'm Girl, Interrupted...." I said as I pick up some addressed envelopes. "...and I know the score of the apocalypse, just busted out of the nut-box...Possibly using superpowers, by the way. Where do I go?" I asked, hypothetical, while Sam looks at family photographs and picks one up.

"Hey, either of you got those sketches from Anna's notebook?" Sam asked. "Yeah." Dean said. "Let me see 'em." Sam said and Dean hands the drawings to him. "Check this out." Sam said and he picks out a drawing of a stained-glass window. "She was drawing the window of her church." Dean said. "Over and over. If you were religious, scared, and had demons on your ass, where would you go to feel safe?" Sam asked and we all share a knowing look.

That night, Dean parks the Impala is parked in front of the church where we see, through a window, two figures upstairs. We grab our guns, get out of the car and head to the church.

Minutes later, we enter the attic with our guns drawn. "Guys." Sam said and Dean and I turn to him and he points with his gun towards a person hiding. "Anna?" he calls out as we put away our guns. "We're not gonna hurt you. We're here to help. My name is Sam. This is my brother, Dean. And this my friend, (y/n)." Sam said and Anna slowly rises up from her hiding spot.

"Sam and (y/n)? Not Sam Winchester and (y/n) (l/n)?" She asked, curiously. "Uh, yeah." Sam and I said, feeling taken aback that she knows our names. "And you're Dean. The Dean?" Anna asked as she stands up and looks at Dean. "Well, yeah. The Dean, I guess." Dean said, shrugging. "It's really you. Oh, my God." Anna said, letting out a breathless laugh. "The angels talk about you. You were in Hell, but Castiel pulled you out, and some of them think you can help save us. And some of them don't like you at all." She said then she looks at me and Sam.

"They talk about you two all the time lately. I feel like I know you two." She said. "So, you talk to angels?" I asked her. "Oh, no. No, no way. Um, they probably don't even know I exist. I just kind of...overhear them." Anna corrects. "You overhear them?" asked Sam. "Yeah, they talk, and sometimes I just...hear them in my head." She said.

"Like...right now?" Dean asked her. "Not right this second, but a lot. And I can't shut them out, there are so many of them." she said. "So, they lock you up with a case of the crazies when really you were just...tuning in to angel radio?" Dean asked her and she nods. "Yes. Thank you." Anna said.

"Anna, when did the voices start? Do you remember?" I asked her and she nods. "I can tell you exactly -- September 18th." She said and Dean's eyes widen in realization. "The day I got out of Hell." He said. "First words I heard, clear as a bell -- Dean Winchester is saved." Anna said then Dean turns to me and Sam.

"What do you guys think?" He asked. "It's above my pay grade, man." Sam jokes and I turn to Anna. "Well, at least now we know why the demons want you so bad. They get a hold of you, they can hear everything the other side's cooking. You're 1-900-angel." I said and she nods then thinks of something.

"Hey, um, do you know -- are my parents okay? I -- I didn't go home. I was afraid." she said when we hear hurried footsteps. We turn and see Ruby had enter into the attic in a rush. "You got the girl. Good, let's go." She said and Anna screams. "Her face!" She shouts and Sam holds out a hand to her. "It's okay. She's here to help." He assures Anna. "Yeah, don't be so sure." Dean grumbles.

"We have to hurry." Ruby said. "Why?" I asked her. "Because a demon's coming -- big-timer." She replied. "Well, that's pretty convenient -- showing up right when we find the girl with some bigwig on your tail?" Dean accuses. "I didn't bring him here. You did." Ruby said.

"What?" Dean asked. "He followed you from the girl's house. We got to go now." Ruby said just as I noticed a nearby statue bleeding from the eyes. "Uh, boys." I said as I pointed at the statue.

"It's too late. He's here." Ruby said, fearfully. Then Sam takes Anna by the arm and hides her in a closet. "Okay. Stay in there. Don't move." he tells her. "Okay." she said and Sam closes the door then takes out a flask of holy water. "No, Sam, you got to pull him right away." Ruby tells him and he looks over at her.

"Whoa, hold on a sec." Dean said. "Now's not the time to bellyache about Sam going darkside. He does his thing, he exorcises that demon, or we die." Ruby said and Sam puts the flask away again.

*3rd Person POV*

Seconds later, the demon enters and Sam tries to exorcise him, but it doesn't work. "That tickles. You don't have the juice to take me on, Sam." the demon said, smiling, then he throws Sam downstairs. (y/n) goes to raise her hand, trying to use her power but it doesn't do anything and the demon turns to her. "Pathetic girl." He growls and throws (y/n) aside and DeN attacks him with Ruby's knife, but the demon wins their fight.

"Hello again, Dean." the demon said while Ruby pulls Anna out of the closet, escaping. "Come on, Dean. Don't you recognize me? Oh, I forgot -- I'm wearing a pediatrician. But we were so close...in Hell." The demon said and Dean now realized who this is. "Alastair." He said just as (y/n) stabs Alastair with Ruby's knife but barely missed his heart and essentially only hits his shoulder.

"You're gonna have to try a whole lot harder than that, girl." Alastair said and Sam grabs Dean and the trio look at a large stained-glass window. As Alastair pulls out the knife, Sam, Dean and (y/n) jump through the window.

*(y/n)'s POV*

"Are you almost done?" Dean asked from the bathroom as I sew up a cut on Sam's left arm. We had sustained injuries after we jumped out of the window, Sam and I got some cuts and Dean had a dislocated shoulder.

"I'm going as fast as I can." I said to Dean as I finish up sewing. "Good, 'cause you know I got a dislocated shoulder over here." Dean said as he walks out of the bathroom then picks up a whiskey bottle and drinks from it. "Yeah. I'll pop it back when I'm finished." I tell him and I finished with Sam's wound then I turned to Dean.

"Gimme that." I said, pointing at the bottle. Dean hands it to me and I pour the whiskey over Sam's wound. Sam let's out a groan and I look up at him. "Sorry." I said to him, apologetically.

"So, you lost the magic knife, huh?" Dean asked. "Yeah, saving your ass." I said to him as I get up from my seat. "Who the hell was that demon?" Sam asked Dean. "No one good. We got to find Anna." Dean said. "Ruby's got her. I'm sure she's okay." Sam said and I go up to Dean.

"All right. Come on." I said to him and I place my hands on his shoulder. "On three. One..." I said and I force Dean's shoulder back into place. Dean clenches his teeth as he holds back a scream then he rotates his shoulder to make sure it was okay.

"You sure about Ruby? 'Cause I think it's just as likely she used us to find radio girl and then brought that demon in to kill us." Dean said. "No, she took Anna to keep her safe." Sam said. "Yeah. Well, why hasn't she called to tell us where she is?" Dean asked him. "Because that demon is probably watching us right now, waiting to follow us right back to Anna again. That's why he let us go." Sam replied.

"You call this letting us go?" Dean asked, angrily. "Yeah, I do. Look, killing us would've been no problem to that thing. That's why, for now, we just got to lay low and wait for Ruby to contact us." Sam said. "How's she gonna do that?" Dean asked and I sighed. "Will you two quit your bitching!" I yelled and they all look at me.

I let out another sigh then run my hand over my eyes. "Anyway, it does bring up a good point, Sam. Why do you trust her so much?" I asked him. "I told you guys." Sam said. "You got to do better than that. Hey, and I'm not trying to pick a fight here. I mean, I really want to understand. But I need to know more. I mean, I deserve to know more." Dean said and I nod in agreement. "I'm intrigued about all this too, Sam." I said and Sam sighs. "Because...she saved my life." he replied.

There Sam goes on about how Ruby acted like she was gonna kill him but she killed her demon partner then got Sam out. Then she told him how he still has his powers, it was just dormant, and they needed to reactivate it to take down Lilith. And she told him that she'd teach him. He also told us how he made her possess a non-living body instead of a living one.

"So? What'd she teach you?" I asked Sam. "Well, the first thing I learned...I'm a crappy student." Sam replied, with a bit of a smirk, and he continues the story.

He tells us how he tried to exorcise a demon but he couldn't which lead Ruby to kill the demon with her knife. They get into an argument...then they end up having sex.

"Sam?" Dean said as I rub my temples.

"Yeah?" Sam asked.

"Too much information." Dean said. "Hey, I told you I was coming clean." Sam said. "Yeah, but now I feel dirty." Dean said, disgusted. "Think of it as payback for walking in on you two." Sam said, pointing at us, and I sighed. "For the last time, Sam, we are sorry about that." I said and Sam chuckles. "Okay, well, uh, brain-stabbing imagery aside...So far, all you've told us about is a manipulative bitch who, uh, screwed you, played mind games with you, and did everything in the book to get you to go bad." Dean said.

"Yeah, well, there's more to the story." Sam said. "Just...skip the nudity, please." I said and Sam sighs again. "Pretty soon after...that, um...I put together some signs...Omens." Sam explained. "Saying what?" Dean asked. "Lilith was in town. And I wanted to strike her first." Sam said.

He talks about how he and Ruby argued about him to go after Lilith and he went ahead to go after her. He went to go kill her but she had already left behind the girl she possessed him and two demons ambush him.

He goes to fight them but he was overpowered until Ruby came in and helped him. She told him to take the girl and run as she fights the demon and Sam comes back and was able to exorcise the demon.

"Ruby came back for me. Whatever you have to say, she saved me. More than that, she got through to me. What she said to me...It's what you would've said. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here." Sam finished explaining just as we heard a knock on the door.

"Housekeeping." A female voice said. "Not now!" Dean yells. "Sir, I've got clean towels." The voice said and i stand up and open the door and the maid, a heavy-set black woman, enters.

"Couldn't you just leave 'em at the door?" Dean asked her then the maid closes the curtains then goes over to Sam and hands him a piece of paper. "I'm at this address." She said and Sam looks at her, confused. "I'm sorry. What?" He asked. "Go now. Go through the bathroom window, don't stop, don't take your car, don't pass go. There are demons in the hallway and in the parking lot." She said and Sam's eyes widen.

"Ruby?" He asked, shocked. "Okay, yes, so I'm possessing this maid for a hot minute. Sue me." she said, annoyed. "What about --"

"Coma girl? Slowly rotting on the floor back at the cabin with Anna, so I've got to hurry back. See you when you get there. Go!" she tells us.

Minutes later, we come up to the barn and enter to see Ruby, now in her former body, and Anna standing there. "Glad you could make it." she said. "Yeah, thanks." Sam said and I turn to Anna. "Anna, are you okay?" I asked her. "Yeah. I think so. Ruby's not like other demons. She saved my life." Anna replied, smiling.

"Yeah, I hear she does that." Dean said then he turns to Ruby. "I guess I...You know." he said and Ruby raises an eyebrow. "What?" she asked. "I guess I owe you for...Sam. And I just wanted...you know..." Dean struggles to say and I face-palm at this, shaking my head. "Don't strain yourself." she tells him. "Okay, then. Is the moment over?" Dean asked and Ruby nods. "Good, 'cause that was awkward." Dean said.

"Hey, Sam, you think it'd be safe to make a quick call, just to tell my parents I'm okay? They must be completely freaked." Anna asked Sam and we all give her a worried look. "Uh..." Sam said and Anna gives a scared look. "What?" she asked. "Anna, um...Your parents..." Sam said, trying to find the right words.

"What about them?" she asked. "Look, we're sorry." I said and Anna gasps. "No, they're not..." she said as tears build up in her eyes. "Anna, I'm sorry." Sam said and she begins to cry and double forward. "Why is this happening to me?" she asked, tearfully. "We don't know." I said as I place a hand on her shoulder, sympathetically.

Then she sits up, straight, a look of fear on her face. "They're coming." she said and Dean looks over at Sam. "Back room." he orders and Sam takes Anna to the back room, then comes back as Dean and I get our guns ready.

"Where's the knife?" Ruby asked. "Uh...about that..." Dean said and Ruby gives an exasperated look. "You're kidding." she said. "Hey, don't look at me." Dean said and he gestures at me. "Thanks a lot." I said to him and he smirks at me. "Great. Just peachy. Impeccable timing, guys, really." Ruby said, annoyed and angry.

The door rattles, violently, bursts open and Castiel and Uriel walk in. "Please tell me you're here to help. We've been having demon issues all day." Dean said to them. "Well, I can see that. You want to explain why you have that stain in the room?" Uriel asked as he nods at Ruby, who glares at him. Silence hung in the air as we waited for what the angels would do next until Castiel speaks up.

"We're here for Anna." Castiel said. "Here for her like...here for her?" Dean asked. "Stop talking. Give her to us." Uriel demanded. "First of all, rude. Second of all, are you gonna help her?" I asked them. "No, she has to die." Castiel replied.

@rach5ive @kitsun369 @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @ellie-andthemachine

[aqualblue]

What are you art inspirations? Your style is so pretty and unique. Also could you tell me more about your OC's? Like what they do and their personalities?

tyyy hahahaehe!!

my main art inspiration is ennuigrl. I had almost quit drawing entirely until I spotted their acc on twitter and found my love for drawing all over again through simply viewing their art. I also Take a lot inspiration from Street Fighter, winx club, my little pony fim, dmc, guilty gear, mortal kombat, and Dragon Ball in style/character design !

Unique to my other characters, my winx club oc Lovera, and her two goons, Gaia and clover, are seperate entities in their own stories, as well as being the main part of my personal winx club x castlevania au

As for ocs, my main cast, (Tsuaki Family, Downtown trio: Brecken, Anna, Kaminari Nami) were first made in wizard101 when I used to play a lot, through drawing them they became their own ocs, and now I rotate them through fandom aus of fandoms im into. Anba's friend group/circle also consists of the extra Kotori (Cori, ditzy, clumsey, abscent minded), Karol (kind of a perv, tall, protects her friends), Caren(Sweet, some may think she's a mean girl but she's very kind), and Eris and Rhea(Reincarnations that come back easily any time they die, both untrustworthy shapeshifters) Currently my main focus and au for them, it's street fighter!! (and sometimes dmc/guilty gear)

I'll breakdown some of my main ocs below their personalities under the cut!!

Lovera: Lovera is one of my many completely inhuman ocs that appear human. Like an animal she wears bright colors and naturally has bright colors in her human/non human forms to indicate she's toxic. She's an ex fairy/fae, having had her wings permanently torn from her shoulder blades right at the root for aiding her father in destroying a large portion of the fairy realm and stealing dark magic for their own gain. She's gone on to become a dark sorceress, sort of self absorbed anti hero who doesn't meddle in the affiars of others. In the castlevania au, her personal isolation is due to her love not being reciprocated by Juste Belmont when he learns of her past. She eventually goes on to open up to Alucard however. As a fairy, she was "the fairy of the pale dragon heart", which just means the fairy of love

Anba: Anba is the one you see me draw the most, the stoic little critter with the headband/glasses. She's completely random, unpredictable, but can be quick to temper or resorting to violence when things go south. Despite her muscled body, she's very flexible, and able to fit herself inside small spaces which she enjoys. Her powers are paradoxial, meaning she can use two opposites at once (fire, ice, shadow, light, etc). Anba also has an obxnoious british twin cousin named Nokoribi who raised her when her elder three siblings and parents vanished for some time.

Paru: Paru is the only Tsukai sibbling born completely without the capeability to show that she's being malicious, even if she wanted to. She trusts everyone, ever, think how fluttershy is when thinking the best of everyone !. Paru often has no trouble making friends, or being nice, and like her name suggests, she has a pearl in her forehead, which is the only time such a neutral gem has been placed in a Tsukai family member. Paru and Anba were very close when Paru was alive.

Kessho [Tsukai]: Kessho almost NEVER emotes, Apart from sometimes smiling at her partner or her siblings. Kessho, Ame and armondo are all 55, so Kessho is very mature, cool headed, and well thought out. She's the most like Kage visually and fighting wise, having spider flexibility and powers, and able to shapeshift very well

Amejisuto & Armondo-Hisui: These two are practically the same person, like with Morrigan and Lilith. Both having nighttime related powers, Ame' is a sweet, motherly type who comes off airheaded but is actually very smart and cunning, whilst Armondo doesn't hide that he's a sly, sassy, kind of rude liar.

Turmeric: Turmeric is the eldest out of the paru, anba and himself tripletts. He's blank faced, rarely showing emotion outside of blank, and being annoyed or weirded out. He was originally anba's genderbend, but became his own character to me. His powers are light related, and he's Kessho's opposite.

Kage: Kage is an evil, disney step mother (except she's the bio mom) type of character, who is simply wearing the skin of a human she was born into the vessel as. She has a twin sister, who often stays out of the continent of Asia to avoid Kage. She's also in past of history, been known as the witch "Morgin Le Fay", and in the era of Japan when samurai's still fought dragons and evil yokai, "The ShiKage". She has an obsession with bugs, specifically arachnids and hates avians.

Anna(Sanari Gojo): Anna is very timid, shy, sweet. She doesn't go out of her way to be noticed but either due to Brecken and Nami, her friends, or her mentor, Anba, she ends up in trouble. Anna comes off as weak willed, but actually has very strong principle and is only shy and cowardly around people she cares about impressing. When it comes to evil people, albeit, in her terms, "bullies", she has a zero tolerance, and will beat the shit out of them. Her fighting style mixes karate and Gymnastics, and she has icy powers

Kaminari Nami: Nami is just a very unhinged girl and mistunderstood for it. She's very outgoing, sweet, and attentive to those around her. She enjoys girly things, not always clothes, but she owns lots of makeup and dolls. She's one of my only hatian ocs, the others being her mother, Mirlande, and her twin sister Masayoshi. Nami in general just really has lots of love to give and so comes off as intense when she tries to give it out. She learned to fight by wrestling Aligators in Jamaica where she was raised by an adopted big brother after her parents vanished ! Nami and her twin sister have storm/raging storms at sea powers, relating to their names

Brecekn: Brecken's your classic gangster and swindler. She's got a mysterious ability to talk anyone into any kind of deal or scam she's selling ha. In the street fighter au she has a bunch of fighters/boxers under her wing in her management company and takes a HUGE cut. She's cocky, but for good reason, as despite her size, she's a boxer/bear wrestler that packs a punch harder than being hit by a car. She has illusion based powers

[seafoamreadings]

week of august 6th, 2023

aries: venusian activity in your 5th house, retrograde or not (it is) means romance and creativity for you. love your inner child in the way that it needed when you were young. take yourself outside to play, or buy yourself a nice toy. if you have your own children or spend a lot of time around someone else's kids, be a safe and trustworthy grownup to them for extra good karma!

taurus: venus in retrograde comes back to square uranus and conjoin the sun, retracing her fairly recent steps. while it's probably less bubbly and bright than last time, it's still alluring and may herald romantic developments.

gemini: the moon in your sign such as it will be this week can make people antsy. you're not really an exception. on the brighter side of things though, you're more fluid than any other sign and can easily turn any mood around. you can turn other people's moods too, with your charming eloquence put to good use.

cancerians: it may well be that recent leonic themes are not something you're quite comfortable with, and maybe with venus retrograde over there you even have some financial struggles occurring. this week especially, overspending is ill advised. it's not such a mercurial time that you need to work out a whole budget unless you want to! just think twice (or three or four times) before you buy stuff for fun.

leo: sun conjunct venus is HUGE for leos, never mind the fact that venus is in retrograde. that just means you get to do this again after she turns direct and it'll be even better then! good vibes all week if you wear gold, especially rosy golds, and glitter, and big sleek hair. plus embrace the feline life and attitude. lilith is also in that neighborhood, so no need to adhere to any traditional roles. be in your wildest authenticity. you may be a house tiger, but you're still a tiger.

virgo: this week is peaceful for you if you are willing to surrender. but for a sign who has a negative stereotype about being micromanaging control freaks, which yes is a stereotype but also yes has some truth to it (admit it!!) this is no easy task. just practice letting go. if you founder, practice some more.

libra: venus retrograde is an introspective time for you but if there's any time during the process that you should be out socializing it's this week, and if you don't want to then at least take some good selfies. the glow is unreal and people should see it, don't deprive them of your divine aura.

scorpio: frivolous for some but poignant for you. that's the vibe this week. others can't be expected to understand what you're going through, so you may feel a bit lonely in it all, but try to enjoy or at least appreciate the solitude such as it is and do something really kind for yourself, and then do something really kind for someone else, with no expectation of reward or even recognition.

sagittarius: jovial jupiter, your sign's ruler, gets beamed with a friendly trine from mercury, the merchant and trickster. little harmless deceptions or mistakes can actually work out in your favor, and if you're in any form of sales it is currently profitable.

capricorn: once a month, like this week, the moon treks through your relationships house in cancer. on the weekend you'll probably feel like settling in and settling down with a comfortable person. but make sure they are more than comfortable - your structured lifestyle needs more than a nap and a good meal.

aquarius: uranus in taurus has likely had you feeling out of your element. and the series of squares to that ruling planet of yours probably compounds the problem. the trick is to stay utterly true to yourself, while also embracing ways in which you can grow, especially in areas that involve nature - the grass, the trees, the dirt. get out of your mad scientist lair for just a bit.

pisces: increasing activity in virgo, much of which is shadowy and operatic, has you feeling a bit wuthering heights. partnered pisceans may be questioning their commitments or feeling questioned themselves. single pisceans are more likely than usual to find themselves in "situationships" they really wish were more, even if they struggle to admit it.