#like.......... looking back all those moments that felt meaningful no longer do

[rovercat]

im actually so upset by the wwdits ending. it kinda makes the whole show feel worse in retrospect.

[smut-anarchy]

Crybaby

Soft!Mattheo Riddle x Hufflepuff!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Some mild swears, nothing spicy... for now.

Summary: Every time Mattheo sees you cry and falls in love with you for it.

A/N: This is my first fic EVER! I was too excited to get it proof read by my bestie so all mistakes are my own. Check the tags at the end for a funny surprise.

Word Count: 7,300+ (Sorry, I went crazy)

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Mattheo had never been one of those who could be influenced by tears. With who his father was he learned very quickly as a child that tears equated to weakness, and weakness was never allowed. 

Even at times where previous flings had sobbed after being tossed aside or cried for cuddles after sex, it didn’t move him. After all, he’d always made it clear that he wasn’t a romantic. He’d have his fun and move on, he never gave any indication that it would be more meaningful than that. Because of this he’d been called a “cold hearted bastard” more times than he could count. 

Which is why the first time he saw you cry he swore something was wrong with him. Seeing your puffy, red cheeks, your quivering, plump bottom limp and wide, watery eyes he felt like someone sent a stinging hex right to his gut. Your eyes were trained right on a laughing Enzo. 

Now it wasn’t completely uncommon for Enzo to make a girl cry. After all, he too would flirt his way into one of their classmates beds from time to time. Though Enzo prided himself on having a kind, prince-like persona publicly, so he kept all of his trysts and crying ex-lovers deeply hidden from public view. So it was unusual for Enzo to be seen with a crying girl in public, right in the middle of the hallway near the potions classroom. 

The closer Mattheo got the clearer he could see that you had not actually cried yet. Your eyes were full of unshed tears, and by the look of your puffed up cheeks and bitten bottom lip you were clearly attempting not to cry. Oddly to him, this didn’t lessen the weird sensation in his stomach. It only made him slightly angry at his friend for a reason he couldn’t even name. 

Your eyes flickered to him for a brief moment before settling back on a smiling Enzo. 

“Fine,” you said in a defeated tone, “You win. You can borrow my notes for Transfiguration. But this is the last time Enzo!”

Enzo’s smile widened as he picked you up in an embrace and spun you around. Immediately your face brightened and your giggles echoed in the empty hallway.

“That’s my favorite Hufflepuff!” Enzo teased, ruffling your hair, “Next time just agree before you lose another bet and turn into a little crybaby.” 

Your giggles turned into a playful pout, “Hey! You cheated! You have longer legs than I do! And the staircase moved on my way down! You’d cry too if you ran as much as I did and still lost.” 

Enzo let out a chuckle and shook his head, “Well maybe don’t propose a race next time. It was your idea after all. I play quidditch love, there isn’t a world in which you win against me.”  

“Whatever, I’ll win the next bet, you’ll see!” 

You stuck your tongue out at Enzo and turned around, walking away from Enzo much more cheerfully than Mattheo expected for a girl whose eyes were bursting with tears when he walked into this hallway. 

“In your dreams love!” Enzo called after you, earning a swift middle finger from behind your back. Mattheo stopped behind Enzo, pure confusion over witnessing the entire interaction between you two. The assumption that you were one of Enzo’s fangirls or jilted ex-lovers was clearly off the table, but he still couldn’t make sense of the welled up tears in your eyes.

“Girl trouble Enz?” Mattheo hummed, curiosity thoroughly peaked by you and the strange feelings you brought on. 

Enzo, now aware that Mattheo had witnessed the entire exchange smirked, “Nah, nothing like that. She’s just fun to tease, is all.” And with that Enzo ducked into the Potions classroom, leaving Mattheo not entirely satisfied with the answer. Nonetheless, he brushed off his gut feelings and whatever thoughts swirled in his head. He likely wouldn’t have an opportunity to interact with you again, he and his friends never kept one girl around too long, even if she was entertaining. 

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he followed after Enzo to their table in class. 

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When Mattheo entered the Slytherin common room after smoking in the Astronomy Tower he was not prepared to find you on the couch with Enzo, this time actually crying. Though you were also laughing hysterically because Enzo happened to be tickling your feet. 

“How dare you! How dare you say I’m not your favorite Slytherin!” Enzo chided, gleeful smile on his face as he tickled the sock covered soles of your feet. He slowed to a stop, holding your ankles in his lap to keep you from escaping. 

“I didn’t say you weren’t!” You giggled, voice breathless because of your laughter, “I said I don’t know the other Slytherins so I can’t pick a favorite!” 

Enzo smirked, “Not good enough!”, and with that he resumed tickling your feet. Your laughter and squeals bouncing around the common room. 

Mattheo couldn’t help but stare, he and the guys never brought girls to the dorms, and certainly never sat together in the common room. Your yellow skirt and robe were a beacon in the dark and cold that was the Slytherin common room, Salazar Slytherin himself would have a conniption if he saw a giggling Hufflepuff on the couch. And yet, there you were with Enzo, both laughing as if this was not peculiar at all. 

“Say it! Say I’m your favorite!” Enzo demanded, his fingers still torturing the pads of your feet. 

“Okay!” You laughed, “Enzo is my favorite Slytherin!” You were attempting to wiggle your ankles free from Enzo’s grasp and escape the tickling torture but Enzo kept an iron grip, not satisfied with your answer. 

“And?” 

“And I’ll always share my notes with him!” You squealed, completely out of breath from all the laughter. Enzo, seemingly satisfied with your answer finally released your feet, which you immediately tucked under your lap, still wheezing from laughter. 

“Enzo,” you huffed, “You’re a spoiled brat, you know that?” 

“You love it, crybaby.” Enzo winked. His head turned and noticed Mattheo staring at them, still trying to make sense of the scene before him. “Mattheo! Come here, meet my little Hufflepuff!” 

Mattheo strode over and sat on the chair opposite to them, eyes flickering between the two of them. The addition of his presence made you seem more shy now, as if you were embarrassed to be caught with Enzo like this, you refused to make eye contact with him and your cheeks were a little blushed. 

“Y/N this is Mattheo, Mattheo this is Y/N. She’s my transfiguration partner and the cutest girl in Hogwarts.” 

Your blush seemed to bloom even redder from the compliment. But your eyes shyly made contact with him and a soft smile graced your face. 

“Hi, ignore Enzo, he’s just trying to get into my good graces after tickle torturing me and making me tutor him for two hours.” 

Mattheo muttered a low ‘hello’ and quietly trudged to his room, door slamming with much more force than he intended. His heart was pounding and he felt surge of envy towards Enzo. 

Enzo was right, you were cute, and even though your face was streaked with laughter induced tears and wild hair from wiggling on the couch, Mattheo thought you looked adorable. He’d never thought that tears could be cute before, but there you were with a soft smile and bubbling laughter. These thoughts and feelings were all new to him, it made him feel suffocated and embarrassed, but he was Mattheo Riddle for Salazar’s Sake! Mattheo Riddle doesn’t run from anything, let alone cute girls. Yet he knew he couldn’t just sit there under your pretty gaze and risk making a fool of himself. Enzo would never let him live it down.

Outside in the common room he could hear you ask Enzo if you said something wrong. Now he felt like an asshole, of course you were too sweet to think he was the problem. Mattheo closed his eyes and flopped onto his bed. He could hear Enzo comfort you, saying ‘Mattheo’s just an ass’ and offering to walk you back to your dorm. 

For whatever reason, hearing that made him sort of agitated. He wanted to walk you to your dorm, and he’d be his usual charming self and make you laugh and blush, then you’d direct your smile at him and maybe that’d make him feel better. Maybe he’d even kiss you, and that thought warmed him in a different way. Mattheo groaned, just thinking of kissing you burned his mind with other ideas, less innocent things with you, where your sweet, shy smile turned into something sultry and pleading, he could feel his dick harden and more thoughts bloomed, each one more tantalizing than the last. 

Mattheo’s door opened and Enzo walked in with Theo following behind. Theo just looked at him, nodding casually before turning to his side of the room, but Enzo’s eyes were dancing with mischief, a Cheshire grin already etched into his face. 

“Very smooth, Matty-boy.” Enzo teased. 

Mattheo fixed him with a glare, he hated when anyone called him Matty. “Don’t call me that, and I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Enzo’s smile widened, eyes alight, “Oh no? You don’t want to talk about how cute, little Y/N said one sentence to you and you ran off?” 

Theo’s head shot up at that, looking between his two dorm mates with mild interest. Theo always had an uncanny way of reading Mattheo, which right now really irked him since Enzo was stirring the pot. 

“I didn’t run off, I’m tired.” Mattheo grumbled, “Why did you even bring her here? We don’t bring flings here.” He had a feeling there was no such relationship between you and Enzo, but he couldn’t help but try and fish for more information.

“You brought a girl here?” Theo asked incredulously, his interest now fully invested.

Enzo rolled his eyes, “She’s not a fling, we’re friends. We were doing homework together after we got kicked out of the library.” 

“Didn’t seem like homework when you were tickling her.” Mattheo grumbled, the memory flashing in his mind with a new wave of annoyance. 

“You were tickling a girl here?” Theo echoed. 

“Jealous?” Enzo directed at Mattheo before he turned to Theo, “Theo, she’s a Hufflepuff and so much fun to mess with. It’s not like that.”

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I flirted with her?” Theo drawled. Mattheo’s head snapped to Theo, he could feel acid in his throat thinking of Theo flirting with you. Theo’s eyes were already on him, eyebrow quirked, his expression knowing. Mattheo glared back at him and turned away, he knew he shouldn’t care what Theo or Enzo did with you, but he did, and that pissed him off more.

Enzo laughed wholeheartedly, “Sure, but if you’re not serious she’ll sniff out your bullshit. When I first met her I flirted with her for her notes and she stepped on my foot so hard I had to go to Madam Pomfrey!” 

Theo chuckled, “Alright, so she’s off limits then.”  

“You’re fucking right she is. I actually do want to be friends with her, I don’t need you assholes scarring her for life with your flirting. It’s already going to be an uphill battle with how hellish Draco and Pansy can be.”

“So we’ll be seeing more of her?” Theo questioned, and for once Mattheo was glad for Theo’s inquisitive nature, the same question burning in his mind. He wanted to see more of Y/N, his mind flickering back to those not so innocent thoughts. 

“Yeah, probably.” And with that, the conversation seemed to be over, Mattheo’s lack of talking not going unnoticed by his two friends. They shared a look, coming to the exact same seemingly impossible conclusion: Mattheo had a crush. 

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Enzo’s casual affirmation was an understatement, as the next day he invited his Hufflepuff to sit with them in the Great Hall at breakfast. She was smiling up at Enzo when he brought her over, then turning her smile to all of them at the table. She shot Mattheo a shy smile and wave before settling between Enzo and Blaise. 

Pansy and Draco both offering indifferent greetings before turning to each other and continuing their conversation. Theo, Blaise and you began an intense discussion about potions, Enzo offering a comment here and there while he ate breakfast. Mattheo could only look around at his friends in confusion, his group not known to be friendly with people outside of Slytherin, or even with others in Slytherin for that matter. Draco and Pansy being the worst of two but they barely even acknowledged you and continued what they were doing. Blaise and Theo were known to be standoffish and yet here they were joking with you about potions. 

“They know her, dumbass.” 

Mattheo’s eyes shot to Enzo across from him, his face looking smug. Everyone else was so wrapped up in their conversations they didn’t hear what Enzo had whispered. 

“What?” Mattheo asked.

“You look confused,” Enzo clarified, stopping to take a bite of his Apple, “They all know her, she’s been in all of our classes since second year.”

Mattheo nodded in understanding, eyes flickering back to the sweet Hufflepuff, who had now drawn Pansy and Draco into the conversation, the five of them debating whether or not Professor Snape used shampoo. Her face was glowing with happiness, every time she laughed he could see the flutter of her full lashes. His mind echoed the strange desire to count each lash. 

He liked her laughing. The two times he’d seen her teary he thought she’d been cute, the frustration tears from chasing Enzo and the tears from laughing too hard, it was easy to find her adorable, but seeing her carefree and laughing filled his chest with yearning, he wanted her light to shine on him, even just for a moment. Yes, he much preferred her like this, hopefully he wouldn’t have to see her cry for a long while. 

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Mattheo didn’t know how many different ways someone could cry until he met you. 

Now fully adopted into his friend group he’s seen you cry over something with each of his friends and it confused him. He always assumed crying meant a person felt sad, that there were no other reasons to cry. The first time he saw tears in your eyes he added exhaustion as an acceptable reason to cry. Then he added laughter after the common room tickle incident. He figured that’d be it.

Until he found you and Pansy swaddled in blankets in her room listening to a muggle artist named Olivia Rodrigo and eating ice cream. He’d only stopped by to return a book he borrowed from Pansy the week before, he knocked and the door cracked open and he saw your tear streaked face and Pansy huddled on the floor, her face was turned away from him but he heard her sniffles. 

He fumbled out an explanation about the book and you accepted it from him with a small smile. After the door had closed he heard the music blast to full volume. 

He’d never thought Pansy would ever cry, she’d always felt like such expressions were beneath her. He was also very much confused on why you were crying, which made him worried something had happened to both of you. It wasn’t until later that Theo and Enzo told him that Pansy and Luna had broken up and you had decided some girl time was much needed to “feel your feelings” and listen to sad songs.

He’d never considered sympathy crying, but there you were with Pansy, sharing her pain. He admired you for it, your kindness knowing no limits.

The next day Pansy threatened to cut off his dick if he ever told anyone he’d seen her cry, though he was honest and said he actually hadn’t seen anything, and she seemed comforted by that fact. After Pansy seemed to be lighter almost, and she became as protective of you as Enzo, which became clear after Adrian Pucey cornered you in the hallway to harass you for a date. Enzo broke his nose and Pansy sent a hex that had Adrian vomiting hair clumps for a week. Mattheo would deny it but he also paid Adrian a visit after the hex had worn off and threatened a whole lot worse than a broken nose and a gross hex if Adrian so much as breathed in your direction.

The lust Mattheo felt for you still burned but there was something else, something new to him. Something that made him want to comfort you and protect you, to have you look for him for safety. Now, he didn’t just want your body, he wanted your undivided attention. 

Mattheo tried to brush off these thoughts. He was no romantic, you were too sweet and nice to get wrapped up in something with him. As soon as it ended, you’d be crushed and Pansy and Enzo would likely make him suffer for hurting you. He told himself he just felt this way because you were friends, and friends is what you’d have to stay to be safe from him. 

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Quidditch hardly interested you, Mattheo found out. Occasionally you volunteered with Madam Pomfrey and you’d seen enough quidditch injures to give you too much anxiety to watch the game. So whenever he and the boys played you’d skip up to them with boxes of baked goods to wish them luck and left on your merry way to watch the infirmary so Madam Pomfrey could supervise the game.

Surprisingly, Draco had been won over through his stomach. His indifference morphed into a kind of bland acknowledgement until he’d gotten the first good luck treats of the season, then he became outright friendly towards you. But when he’d caught the snitch the first time that year you’d made the whole team a whole fleet of chocolate lava cakes and candied fruit. Draco had sworn all of it was for him but after that he had taken on a kind of pseudo-brother relationship with you.

Conversely, you and Blaise bonded over your distinguished and varied adoration of books, often times swapping between yourselves. Blaise alleged that you were the only one he could read around because you weren’t “a distracting idiot” like Enzo and Draco or “an eternal gossip” like Pansy, but Mattheo could see that Blaise just had a soft spot for you like everyone in the group. Every time they went to Hogsmeade together you and Blaise would peel off to Flourish and Blotts, always coming back with more books. Of course, Blaise being chivalrous meant you never carried your own books despite your protests. The more time they spent in Hogsmeade the longer your books would get passed around to be carried until they always landed in Mattheo’s hands. Though he didn’t mind because you would smile sweetly at him when they returned to Hogwarts and thanked him for carrying your books. 

Yes, Draco and Blaise had become like brothers to you. So when Madam Pomfrey rushed them to the infirmary both bruised with multiple broken bones Mattheo had seen all the color drain from your face.

None of the team was allowed to be in the infirmary so the last thing he could see was your crushed expression and tears welling up in your eyes. Theo, Pansy, Enzo and him had paced outside the hallway until Madam Pomfrey had shooed them away to go rest, telling them they could visit in the morning. 

Mattheo had hardly slept the entire night. His two friends unconscious and battered and your crestfallen face had haunted him. As soon as he could reasonably leave the dorm he rushed to the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips upon seeing him, knowing he had not rested but allowed him to visit anyway, despite it still being too early. 

Draco and Blaise laid in their beds, looking much better than when they’d arrived. Whatever Madam Pomfrey had given them was slowly repairing the bones and easing the bruising on their bodies, their sleeping faces looked peaceful so it was clear they weren’t in pain. In between the two of their beds was you, huddled into yourself on a chair. 

Hearing Mattheo approach had made you lift your head from the floor. Your eyes were puffy from exhaustion, your usual bright smile gone and replaced by a mournful frown. You were wearing the same clothes from yesterday so he knew you’d stayed by their side all night and likely not slept. 

He stood in front of you, not sure what to say and as he looked at you he saw fresh tears gather in your eyes and your lip was trembling. Before he could say anything you’d lept from the chair and wrapped your arms around him, holding him tightly as silent sobs wracked your body. 

Mattheo had never been hugged like this. He was fairly certain he’d never been hugged ever. But here you were, clinging to him and crying into his chest. His heart ached feeling your tears soak into his shirt, you couldn’t keep your sobs silent anymore, now fully weeping on him. He wrapped his arms around you and rested his head on top of yours. 

He just held you as you bawled. Though this situation was less than ideal it felt good that he could be here for you, comforting you. Your body was enveloped in his and he was reminded how small you were, so fragile but so strong at the same time. He wondered how long you’d held yourself together before he got here. That thought made him embrace you tighter, at least he could be here for you now. He told himself he’d keep holding you until you were ready to let go.

Your sobs had turned into little whimpers and sniffles, but you didn’t let go of him. Your head stirred underneath him and he looked down at you, seeing you staring up at him. Your wide eyes glassy and cheeks red, dried tear tracks on your face. The word beautiful flashed through his mind, somehow no matter what you did you always managed to look perfect to him. 

“T-thanks Matty,” you voice quivered, “Er, I mean Mattheo.” Your cheeks were already red from crying, though Mattheo desperately wanted to believe they got a little bit pinker.

“You can call me Matty.” His voice was somewhat hoarse and raspy from fatigue. Her lips quirked up slightly and then she sighed and closed her eyes. 

She slowly unwrapped her arms from him and dropped them to her side, looking back at Draco and Blaise. His body felt empty and cold after you let go, he felt the urge to pull you back but stifled it, as exhaustion was currently winning over his body.

Mattheo looked around and saw a spare blanket and two pillows. He quickly grabbed them, dropping them on the floor between the two beds with his friends. He sat on the floor, with one pillow behind his head against the wall. He pat the spot next to him and down you came, sitting next to him with the other pillow behind your head. He spread the blanket over the two of you and your head came to rest against his shoulder. His eyes closed and then sleep claimed the both of you.

He woke up to a flick on his forehead. He was still propped up against the wall with you ully leaned against his body, still dozing. Draco stood in front of him, the obvious perpetrator of the flick against his head, he was changed out of the hospital clothing but had various bandages and wraps on his body. Blaise was next to him leaning against the hospital bed he’d been spent the night in in, displaying a similar number of bandages. Both of them wearing smirks on their faces aimed at Mattheo and the Hufflepuff curled against him.

“Cozy?” Draco teased. 

Mattheo rolled his eyes with a smile, clearly his friends were alright if they were feeling up to making fun of him. 

“She stayed here all night for you dopes and we were tired,” Mattheo grunted, “Clearly you’re both feeling better though.” 

His friend’s teasing smirks fell and they looked guiltily at the sleeping girl. 

“Y’know she’s going to fuss over us when she wakes up.” Blaise admitted, Draco nodded with a sigh.

“She’ll probably cry.” Draco sighed. Not one of the three boys were looking forward to seeing their friend cry.

“I’ve gotta start carrying around some tissues for her,” Mattheo blurted. Blaise and Draco laughed at that, nodding in agreement and joking the whole group should start carrying some.  

The boys’ laughter stirred the Hufflepuff and she blinked her tired eyes open. At seeing Blaise and Draco awake and standing in front of her she shot right up, discarding the blanket on the floor.

“Blaise! Draco! Oh thank Merlin! How are you feeling? Are you supposed to be standing up? Do you need water? I’ll go get Madam Pomfrey to clean your bandages!” You rattled off, mind clearly spinning off with things to help the two injured Quidditch players. Luckily Blaise grabbed your hand, pulling you from your thoughts.

“We’re fine. Madam Pomfrey is letting us go today. We’re coming back everyday for the next week for the medicine and check ups.” Blaise seemed to sooth you with this, you nodded absentmindedly. Without your brain taking over you really looked at Draco and Blaise and, just as the boys predicted, you started shedding tears. You grabbed both boys and pulled them towards you, both giving you a half hug as you cried. Through your sobs you started babbling your relief about how they were both okay and making them promise to never have to come here half comatose they way they did. 

In the span of a couple of hours your waterworks had turned from fear to relief and Mattheo was glad to see his friends being fussed over by someone so sweet and caring. Your tears were short lived, as Blaise and Draco did their best to make you smile. Your sniffling turned to giggles when Draco’s stomach made a loud gurgle and he moaned about being starving, in typical dramatic Malfoy fashion. 

You had stepped away to thank Madam Pomfrey for allowing you to stay and taking care of your friends. Though the older woman swore it was her job to care for all students and softly chided you for sleeping on the floor even she seemed to fall victim to your charm, hurrying you out the infirmary and promising to see you next time you volunteered. 

“Mr. Riddle, a word please.” Madam Pomfrey said before he could follow you, Draco and Blaise out the door. He nodded to his friends that he’d catch up with them, trying not to think too hard about your worried look.

“I do try not to meddle in my student’s affairs,” Madam Pomfrey started, “But my dear apprentice has been here since midday yesterday and hasn’t eaten anything or slept, aside from your two hour nap on the floor,” the older woman gave a quick glare, “so if you’d please make sure your girlfriend eats and goes straight to bed, I would greatly appreciate it.”

Mattheo nodded dumbstruck, a satisfied Madam Pomfrey led him out the door. 

Girlfriend. Madam Pomfrey thought you and Mattheo were dating. Mattheo once found dating any one repulsive, but he thought about your sweet smiles and angelic laughter and suddenly the idea of dating was inviting, so long as he was dating you. And that was terrifying thought, Mattheo didn’t think himself boyfriend material, but the idea of seeing you date anyone else, or Merlin forbid one of his friends, made him nauseous. He conceded that maybe these feelings would fade after some time, after all, you didn’t give him any indication that you wanted to be more.

Taking Madam Pomfrey’s words seriously he met up with you, Blaise and Draco. After all four of you were fed he suggested they all get rest, Draco and Blaise didn’t argue, their exhaustion kicking in from their injuries, but you pouted, not wanting to go back to your own dorm alone. Mattheo wasn’t immune to your puppy dog eyes so he offered his own bed so you could be with everyone. Draco and Blaise shared a knowing look, but you beamed up at him and happily trotted along with them to their dorms. 

Enzo and Theo were still sleeping, likely to be out until afternoon so as quietly as they could Blaise and Draco went to their own beds, passing out shortly after pulling their blankets around their bodies. 

You shed your large yellow knit sweater and yawned, smiling sleepily at Mattheo. He smiled and tilted his head to his bed, offering it to the kindly Hufflepuff. After removing her shoes she slipped under the covers, he could tell she was struggling to stay awake. 

“Are you coming to bed too?”

Her question made his neck feel hot, she looked at his innocently, eyes fluttering. If he got in that bed with her, he knew he’d never let go of whatever feelings were developing for her. He slowly shook his head, ready to lie to her and say he wasn’t tired, that he was going to go shower or study or literally anything other than get into his bed with her.

“Please Matty?” You pouted. Merlin, he was a goner. He sighed softly and slipped under the covers with you, trying to keep a respectful distance. This whole situation had his body burning and mind in overdrive. You smiled happily and let out a small giggle, wishing him goodnight and then allowing sleep to take you.

Truthfully, he didn’t think he’d be able to sleep. His mind and body kicked into chaos at the proximity of the beautiful Hufflepuff. But he was actually tired, and your soft snores helped him relax and he was able to fall asleep as well. 

That sleep was short-lived, as he only slept for about two hours. When he woke up you were completely tucked into his body, still snoring, with his arms wrapped around you. Luckily, everyone else was still completely knocked out. Against his urges he detached himself from your cuddling, thanking whatever higher power that no one witnessed the intimate moment, and slipped into the bathroom for a cold shower to cool his fevered skin. 

The next day, he went to Hogsmeade and picked up a single green handkerchief with a snake and his initials embroidered into the fabric. He’d never tell anyone but he always kept it in his pocket, just in case.

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Mattheo knew Theo didn’t care for his birthday, after his mother had passed his father became cruel and he never had another birthday. When Enzo had mentioned it in passing at dinner, Theo had told you himself he didn’t celebrate it. 

Mattheo, now attuned to your expressions, saw a glimmer of sadness flickering behind your eyes, followed by a flash of determination. You hadn’t said much after that, but he saw the gears in your head turning. 

A week later on Theo’s birthday Enzo had dashed into the common room, asking all of them to follow him to the Room of Requirement. The whole walk there was tense, Mattheo could tell by Theo’s expression that if it was a big party he was going to be pissed. You were mysteriously missing most of the week, or dashing away quickly so he assumed you had planned something, with Enzo’s help of course.

When they pushed into the room there was no party. Instead there were soft string lights hanging from the ceiling, a fire going in an intricate stone fireplace and a swirling emerald green carpet guiding them further into the room. Just a few steps further and there you were, covered in flour and wearing an apron with splashes of food stains. In front of you was a table with only seven seats set, a cacophony of steaming food on top.

Mattheo and his friends had their mouths agape, trying to take in the extravagance around them. They knew you loved to cook, having been on the receiving end of endless, delicious desserts. But never before had you cooked an actual feast for them. He looked to Theo, who was not looking at the lights or the fireplace or even the food, his deep gaze on you. 

Mattheo saw a nervous smile take hold of your face and watched your hands tug on each other, clearly nervous about Theo’s reaction.

“Um… I made it,” you pushed out, “I remembered you said once you missed your Mom’s cooking so I made a bunch of Italian dishes. Y-your Mom probably made them better but I did my best. I even made Mostaccioli! I remember you said it was your favorite…” Your nervousness getting the better of you. No one said anything, all looking at Theo for his reaction. 

Theo strode up to you, his face not showing anything, and he pulled you into a hug. Theo, who hated unnecessary touching, was hugging you. Mattheo even swore he heard Theo mumble “I love it.”

When your arms came around Theo’s broad back Mattheo got a glimpse of your face. Your eyes were closed, tears leaking out of the corners and a soft, peaceful smile on your face. 

Mattheo didn’t know what to call these types of tears. It felt bigger than the other ones he’d seen. These tears felt sweet and sad at the same time, like you and Theo had a secret understanding. Looking at you and Theo embrace felt like a private, raw moment, but he couldn’t look away. He decided to deem these: bittersweet tears. 

Theo let you go and you chuckled and wiped the sides of your eyes. You beamed at everyone and invited them to sit down and eat. 

And as Mattheo sat down next to you, with a messy apron, covered in flour and a cheery grin on your face, Mattheo couldn’t help but think you more radiant than he’s ever seen you. 

And even though Theo refused to share the Mostaccioli with any of them, it was easily the best meal of Mattheo’s life, love and attention baked into everything you made. His friends more carefree and happy than he’d ever seen them, laughing and joking. 

When you left to get the cake you made that was cooling by the room’s kitchen area Theo leaned over to him and whispered, “If you don’t make a move soon, I’m going to marry that girl.” Mattheo froze like a deer in headlights, but Theo just grinned at him and sipped his champagne. 

Mattheo tried to ignore Theo’s words but they sat heavy in his mind. Ever since he started carrying around a handkerchief for you, he barely even noticed other girls. He can’t even remember the last time he accepted a girl’s invite to her dorm. He only ever thought about you, and instead of fear and uncertainty now he only felt warmth and longing when he imagined you and him together. It surprised him how much he wanted all of it. He wanted to kiss you, to hold you, to have you laugh at his jokes, to smile at him, to worship you in any and every way you’d let him. The realization that he was completely smitten with you pierced through his whole body. Theo was right, you had to be his.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Finding you alone was damn near impossible, Mattheo found out. If it wasn’t his own friends it was literally everyone else in the entire castle. Apparently your light touched everyone at Hogwarts, as every time he tried to get a moment to ask you on a date someone would appear and ruined the moment. 

At first he didn’t mind. When the Weasley twins approached you with a new invention, something they called the Zinger Wing Giggle Ball you had been too excited to test it for them. Even Mattheo would admit a ball that flies around making teasing, sarcastic remarks and giggling was funny. Even more so when it scared the daylights out of Mrs. Norris and chased her all through the halls calling her “a dirty flobberworm with legs and a tail”. You, of course, had felt bad for Filch and his tattle-cat but even so, you couldn’t help but laugh along too.

Then there were the professors, Mattheo didn’t realize how much volunteering you did for everyone. Professor Sprout requesting your assistance with the odd plant in the greenhouse or Hagrid wanting you to come witness whatever mysterious beast he’d found that week and log their abilities. Even Snape, who never seemed to like any of his students, would approach you for helping him stock his precious ingredients closet. How you made time for anyone was beyond Mattheo, but he was determined still.

His friends seemed to be the worst of all, they seemed almost determined to not let him have a moment alone with you. No matter where he was with you at least one of them would appear. When he’d finally gotten tired of it he gathered them all and told them he was trying to ask you on a date, a real ’not Mattheo being a fuckboi’ date, by Pansy’s words, not his. Of course with who his friends were and how fiercely protective they were over you, they grilled him for over an hour about his intentions. When they were finally satisfied galleons passed around into Theo and Enzo’s hands. Those fuckers had placed bets amongst themselves on whether or not Mattheo would ever figure out his feelings and ask you out. If Mattheo wasn’t so annoyed he’d be a little touched that his two best friends had faith in him. 

And now, here he was. There were no classes today, and almost everyone in the castle was at Hogsmeade. He knew you were somewhere, his friends confirming you weren’t coming that day and had chosen to stay behind. He’d looked for you everywhere, he had even bribed a younger year Hufflepuff with chocolate frogs to check if you were in your room. It felt like another day of failure for him. It was two hours before everyone would come back, he knew that it would be impossible to get you alone after that. He dragged his feet up to the astronomy tower, hoping to take a quick smoke to clear his head. 

But he heard a familiar sniffle from the stairs. As quietly as he could he peaked out from the staircase and there he spotted your familiar tuft of hair and bright yellow knit sweater. He approached you, nerves bursting in his body until he felt his stomach drop. You were crying.

“What happened?” Mattheo questioned. His voice made you jump and when you looked at him, he saw your familiar puffy, red cheeks and watery wide eyes. 

“Hi Matty,” you said softly, “Its nothing. Just something stupid.” You sniffled, trying to wipe your tears with the sleeve of your sweater. He pulled out his handkerchief from his pocket and passed it to you. You looked at him gratefully and accepted it, wiping your face with the soft, expensive fabric.

“You’d never cry for something stupid.” He corrected. He could remember every instance he’d seen you cry, nothing had ever been stupid about them. He sat next to you on the floor. You sighed, twisting your fingers nervously.

“Someone called me a Slytherin whore.” 

Mattheo could have gotten whiplash with how fast his head snapped to you. Mattheo tried not to let his fury show. He really tried, knowing that his anger could potentially scare you. 

“Who?”

“…Does it matter?”

“Who?”

“It’s not worth it.”

“Who?”

He didn’t mean to take a tone with you, but he was trying to figure out what asshole he was going to beat the shit out of. Then he’d let his friends have their turn.

“Adrian Pucey.”

That son of a bitch. That idiot couldn’t learn the first time. Screw the quidditch team, they’d find another chaser. When Mattheo was finished with him Pucey wouldn’t be able to go near a broom for at least six months. 

“Is that what people think of me?” 

Mattheo was so focused on his rage he didn’t even see you deflating at his side. As he looked at you he realized you weren’t just hurt by Pucey’s words, you believed them.

“No, no one believes that. No one with a brain anyway.” Mattheo assured you. He would cast his anger aside for now, you needed him more.

“I just-“ you groaned, holding your face in your hands, “I know I can be… clingy and a crybaby and maybe I do spend too much time with you guys, but I feel like you guys are my best friends and I like being around you guys and I feel like you guys like me around or maybe you just tolerate me but I feel like that shouldn’t make me a whore and I-“ Mattheo had let you babble long enough. He held your face in his hands and turned your head so you could look at him head on. 

“Listen to me,” He demanded, “You are not a whore. Nothing you do or say could make you that. Understand?”

You nodded in his hands. 

“We do like you being around because we like you. You aren’t clingy or a crybaby. Do you cry? Yes. Is it a perfectly normal reaction? Yes. You’ve made all of our lives better. Pansy has someone she actually likes to do girl stuff with. Draco knows someone outside of our fucked up group and his Mom cares about him. Theo had one of the best fucking birthdays of his life since his Mom died. All because of you! Don’t let some asshole that I’m going to punch in the teeth make you feel like you’re anything less than a ray of sunshine of every single life you touch.”

Mattheo hadn’t realized your hands were cupping his own. You were smiling at him, eyes watery, he wiped a stray tear off your cheek. Your glassy orbs flashed with vulnerability.

“What about you, Matty? Have I made your life better?”

“Better doesn’t even begin to describe what you’ve done to my life.”

More tears were flowing from your eyes but before Mattheo could wipe them away with his hands you threw yourself into his arms, toppling him over and kissed him. 

Any thoughts in Mattheo’s head flew out the window as soon as your lips touched his. Your delicate fingers holding his face lovingly and your soft lips pressed against his own. He brought his hands up to your waist, lightly caressing the skin there that was exposed by your shirt and sweater riding up. The a flurry of peace flooded Mattheo’s body, it was as if his entire being was releasing a sigh of relief, a single thought echoed throughout his body: finally.

Unfortunately, youpulled away, your cheeks flushed. Mattheo was laying on the floor underneath you so you ended up right in his lap, which, looking from his point of view, was so fucking tempting. 

“I’m going to marry the fuck out of you.”

Mattheo meant it but blurting it out had not been his intention, his brain still reeling from the kiss. Nonetheless, you giggled, airy and light like a tinkling bell.

“How about a date first, Matty?” You teased. 

“It’s a start.” Mattheo sat up, pulling your legs tighter around his waist so he could pull you even closer to him. Your fingers started to entangle in his hair and he looked up at you, pure adoration in your eyes, “Do I get to call you mine now?”

“I’ve been yours Matty.”

He hummed happily, pulling your face down to kiss you again. 

[starsintheendlessnight]

The beauty

And pain

Of remember

A person always has one or several memories that they keep with them no matter how time passes. It’s a universal experience that we have all experienced at some point in our lives, it doesn't matter if the memory fades as the days go by bc they are not perfect, in the end they are narratives in construction that in some way marked us as people.

Remember something can be both a beautiful experience and a painful feeling.

Remember helps us to better appreciate things and to understand both our values ​​and past experiences, whether those are moments with family or friends or simply having a good time. They are moments that we adore and keep in our minds with affection but these can also be transformed into a feeling of sadness, a part of us that was taken away from us, a piece of our identity away from us for who knows how long or even forever.

Many times “remember” makes us feel empty bc of what we no longer have and it is because emotional pain doesn't follow a specific script and cannot even be explain only in physiological terms, it’s something more complex and irrational and looking for a specific reason would be like looking for water in the middle of the desert. It hurts us emotionally to have to remember those people who are no longer with us or those happy moments that will never be repeated. Although within that same pain you can find beauty, it is still something irrational and meaningless bc yes, you remember with love and affection but you still feel pain bc of what those people or those moments represented for you and they are simply no longer there.

A memory can appear in many ways, whether it be from a song, a simple word or… Flowers.

Sunflowers are beautiful and radiant flowers that always seem to catch the eye, they are a small reminder that Eurylochus keeps of his home while he resided in Olympus, bright and so cheerful they were the only respite that Eury kept from his already distant home, he took care of them and adore them for the love and nostalgia that they transmitte to him at those moments from which he was separate. Little by little his appreciation turned into pain, a sweet memory of his home transformed into sadness and guilt.

He refused to go back to his flowers, remember his home only made him feel worse about himself. How could he long for something that he did not deserve? The pain stopped being just that and turned into guilt. He did not deserve those flowers, he did not deserve those seconds of escapism and as he did with anything that caused him pain he just turn away and ignored it thinking that everything would be fine if he did not think about it.

As the weeks went by, Eurylochus needed a moment to himself again and he remember his flowers. He wasn't in his best moment and he needed to try to feel again that peace that he felt the first time he saw his sunflowers, but it was too late... His flowers were already dead, he felt distressed bc the only memory of his home was withered before his eyes. He felt pain, but not only because his flowers died. That pain is not going to heal by simply planting others and then as if he hadn't let them die. That pain is about what those flowers represented for him and how he let them go in the face of that pain that made him feel inferior.

Pain is irrational. They may seem like just some flowers, but for Eurylochus they represented much more than that, and it’s in the memory of what he lost that he appreciate and love what gave him calm at the time. His flowers are dead, he let them die but he loves them for the peace of mind they gave him, even though the pain and nostalgia of his far away home is still with him at least he can appreciate it a little more even though he feels sad for remember those good times.

.

.

.

I feel like I'm VERY annoying with the ClosureAU (mostly on Twitter) and I apologize for that again, a new year started and I felt like I needed to do something decent, something meaningful not just a doodle or a funny video. No idea came to mind until I watched some videos of my fav youtubers again and this idea came up. I'm sorry if I'm being so annoying with all the angst I'll try to make not so sad content of the AU I promise. Happy new year to everyone I wish you all the best and thank you for supporting me at all times, I love you all so much 💚

[storiesfromafan]

Just His Best Friend

A/N: I am back with Mattheo and angst. The two go well together, haha. Maybe part two?

Pairing: Mattheo x Longing!Slytherin Reader

Warning/s: angst, spelling/grammer mistakes, briefly revised

“I can’t imagine who I’d be without you in my life” were the greatest words to hear from Mattheo's lips, which held a warm smile.

Your heart skipped a beat. Tingles running up your spine. This was it. The moment you’d been waiting for. The last five years of friendship leading to this, Mattheo's confession. Finally hearing the words you’d been longing for, craving for. The validation that you were something more, something meaningful. And yet once more you were wrong...

“How could I be here without my best friend!” He sounded so pleased, the giddy chuckle leaving his mouth.

Your heart stopped, no longer skipping a beat. The tingles, doused with a wave of a cold chill down your spine. Five years of friendship, which was really longing and hoping on your part. Crashing down by just those words, his best friend. That validation for your place at his side, actually the space behind him. That seat at his side, his arm around them belonged to another. Any other that wasn’t you.

You forced a smile, hoping the crushing of your heart doesn’t show. “A-ah, yeah...right b-back at ya" you sputtered. Not really like you, but it’s all you could muster right now.

Your mind though, you could only imagine it as mini yous running around, screaming and cursing. Some throwing paper, while some kicked chairs or turning over desks. No doubt one was in a corner crying, bawling out their eyes. What you’d like to be doing, but remaining steadfast and strong.

Mattheo clapped you on the shoulder before something behind you caught his eye. The sly smirk that crossed his tempting lips told you all you needed, he’d spotted his next target. “I’ll catch up with you later (Y/N/N). I see someone begging for my attention”.

And with that he slipped past you. You stayed where you were, eyes looking to where the boy you loved once stood. You heard his cheeky hello, along with a sweet giggle. That snapped you out of your comatose state. Holding the strap of your bag for dear life, the last thing grounding you, you took off in a hurry. Back into the castle, back to the dungeons and back to your room.

You didn’t take in the halls or people you past, didn’t even make a snide comment when you bumped into any students. Your focus had been returning to your sanctum, your space. You were glad none of your room mates were there, for as soon as the door was closed, and your back against it did the tears fall. Big, warm tears cascaded down your face. Your face heating up from the humiliation and heartbreak.

Pansy and the other girls of your dorm room told you this would happen. The day would come when it finally reached heartbreak. That Mattheo wouldn’t see how you felt, how you cared for him. Or see how much you did for him. Rather he expected it now. And you had only yourself to blame. You had opportunities to shoot your shot. But you always crumbled, chickening out. If the moment wasn’t ruined by someone else, you’d always come up with an excuse to put it off. And look where it had gotten you. Best friend zoned.

The next two weeks you mopped and cried in bed. In class you remained blank, reserved even, almost on autopilot. You went through the motions, barely passing. And that was only because of Pansy. She was the one there for you, helping you and pushing you. After being the one to find you on the floor crying your eyes out, Pansy had said told you so but didn’t hesitate to hold you. You were grateful for that.

At the start of week three you were finishing getting ready to head to breakfast when Pansy stood by watching you. You didn’t even notice her, just putting on your cardigan before grabbing your bag. The moment you turned for the room door was when you finally noticed her. She stood there with a concerned look upon her face, her hands on her waist. You had a feeling where this would go, and weren’t looking forward to it.

“That’s it" Pansy started. “This has gone on for long enough. It’s time to move on”.

You flinched, knowing she was right and yet part of you couldn’t let him go. “I-I can’t”.

She sighed, arms dropping to her sides. “Yeah, you can. It might take time, but you have to start somewhere (Y/N/N). You can’t give him this power!”

The logic part of your brain agreed with her, while your broken heart protested. How could one just get over Mattheo Riddle? It wasn’t possible. The girls who want, long for him. The girls who’ve had him pine for him. And the girls who didn’t stand a chance – where you sat – dreamed for him. Mattheo was a parasite you couldn’t just remove, once infected you were like that for life.

“I-it’s not so easy, Pan...” you muttered, feeling like a child being scolded. And you kinda were.

Pansy moved to you, hands taking hold of your shoulders. Her eyes looking right into yours, and your soul. “I get it, really...but this isn’t good for you. The best way to get over a guy is the move on to another...”

The look on your face hearing her words was pure shock and horror. The suggestion of another guy was blasphemy. Who could be better than Mattheo? No one. Not to you, not to the girls who worship the ground he walks on. And you voiced that, minus the worshipping part.

“There are other guys, believe me. Ones who actually like you!” Pansy stated, as if it was common knowledge. But not to you. “There’s Patrick Darby in our year, he’s asked me about you before. Or Kellen Barlowe – in the year above us, who Mattheo detests! I know he would die to have you look at him!”

She went on to state a few more guys from your year or the next up, or other houses. Your head was swimming from the new information, the boys who like her. You’d never known this, never been presented with the opportunity of another. Of someone who wasn’t Mattheo. But could you do that? Just turn your back on your feelings? Yet could you continue to stand behind Mattheo, waiting for your chance, however long that could take?

“I-I...h-how?” You found yourself asking, all you could ask.

A soft smile formed on Pansy's lips. “Just start with a hi, maybe a conversation".

You nodded slowly, mulling over her suggestion. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was a start. You would try it her way. And if it didn’t work, you’d return to your solitude and misery. Back where you belonged.

True to your word to Pansy, you said hi and struck up a conversation with Kellen Barlowe. It was at lunch in The Great Hall, you were heading to Pansy when you noticed him smile at you. And you took that as a sign to take a leap. Awkwardly you had slowed down, before stopping by Kellen, who’s smile just widened.

“H-hi" you greeted. Simple and a little stupid really. But it worked.

“Hey (Y/N)” Kellen replied in a warm, airy tone. “Morning classes went well?”

You put on a smile, trying to be nice. Though you wanted to run away, for this didn’t feel right. It felt so, so wrong. Sure, the boy sitting before you was gorgeous, on the same level as Mattheo. But he wasn’t Mattheo. He didn’t have the chocolate brown eyes that held your attention. Nor did he have the brown messy curls that Mattheo has. But his green eyes and mousy blonde locks was still appealing, just didn’t have a lasting hold on you.

“T-they were alright...McGonagall was tough, as always" you supplied, with a sigh.

Kellen chuckled. “Yeah, she’s a tough nut to crack".

“How about your classes?” You enquired, feeling it only right to ask him the same question.

He sighed dramatically. “Absolutely draining. Snape was on the war path, not even us Slytherin’s were spared. If you have potions later, best be prepared".

You nodded, believing his words. “G-good to know, thanks".

A bit more small talk was made before you moved on, quickly scurrying to Pansy. As soon as you took your seat did the girl bombarded you with questions, as well as praise to have followed her advice. Not long after did a familiar body fall into the seat across from you both. Mattheo looking to you with a raised eyebrow.

“Friends with Barlowe, huh?” Came his offended tone, shocking you.

“A-ah, wouldn’t s-say that" you replied. “I was just being nice...”

He nodded. “Hmmm, alright. But keep in mind Barlowe goes through girls like socks".

Pansy laughed. “You’re one to talk, you’re worse than him!”

Mattheo rolled his eyes. “Please, I’m not like him, nor am I worse!”

That fired up Pansy. She and Mattheo going back and forth, voices rising with every second. You don’t know what came over you, or why you did it. But you slammed your hands on the table, rising to your feet. Both parties stopped their bickering, eyes flying to you. You took a deep breath, realising that frustration and anger got the better of you. But you couldn’t shy away now. Instead you cast a quick look to Pansy, before moving to Mattheo, where your eyes stayed. You hoped he saw how upset you were, he needed to know this wasn’t right. He couldn’t come in, trying to dictate what you can and can’t do.

“Matty, you don’t get a say in who I say hi to, or who I have a conversation with" you took a deep breath before releasing it. “I-I can do what I want".

And with that you grabbed your bag, and headed for the hall’s doors. Lunch not even dished up, let alone eaten. None the less your appetite lost. You could feel the eyes on you as you made your escape. Of course you’d have an audience, a loud noise would get attention. The moment you left the large room did you feel the air return to your lungs, the weight of everything lifting. That moment was broken when a hand grabbed your upper arm, causing you to jump.

“Easy (Y/N)” came a soft, airy voice.

Upon turning to the new presence, you were surprised to find Kellen. He looked concerned but wore a faint smile. Wanting to not come off as suffocating or over bearing. You could see the questions in his eyes, those forest green orbs of his.

“You alright?” He asked in a tender voice.

You nodded, remaining silent. Unsure if you could be convincing in a lie. As you weren’t all right. You weren’t sure how you were feeling. That was the first time you’d done that, stood up and made a scene. You were so fucked up right now.

“Hey" came Kellen's voice, face moving closer. “It’s alright, don’t cry".

You brought a hand up, and sure enough there were a few fallen tears. Turning away you wiped them away in a hurry, embarrassed to be caught like this. You weren’t supposed to cry outside your room. This was not how it was supposed to be. Either you shouldn’t have spoken to Kellen, or Mattheo could have just let you be. Maybe then you wouldn’t be standing here like an idiot, fighting back tears.

Kellen moved around to stand before you, hands on your shoulders. Those forest green eyes of his peering into yours, concern shining in them. “It’s alright, you’re alright” – he looked back to The Great Hall for a moment – “come on, let’s get out of here, yeah?”

Slowly you nodded, letting the older boy lead you from the doors of The Great Hall, down a hall and off to a courtyard. Away from those in The Great Hall, and those chocolate browns of Mattheo Riddle. Who’d headed for you, but stopped upon seeing you with Kellen. And how he had his hands on you.

Seeing that sight, Kellen so close to you, and you letting him be. It stirred something in Mattheo. Something he hadn’t felt before. Sure, he hated the male who pulled you away. But this was jealousy, the green eyes monster. Yet, why was Mattheo jealous? Why would he be jealous of Barlowe? Maybe it was the way he looked at you, was close to you just now. Whatever it was, Mattheo did not like it. At all.

[tsumuus]

monoma,, please,,, for your #2 prompt. the quote one. I like the quote you had as an example,, the first one. you can choose whos who (:

₊✩‧₊˚ neito monoma + prompt 2 ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ “im not in love with you anymore” “i never knew you were” ˚₊✩‧₊

Late nights at U.A. always had a certain stillness to them. Most students had long gone to bed, the quiet halls lit only by the soft glow of the moon filtering through the windows. But for you, these late-night conversations with Neito Monoma were a routine. They often started with playful banter, little arguments that no one else understood, but somehow always ended in meaningful talks that stretched into the early morning.

You were perched on the edge of his dorm bed, cross-legged and twirling a loose thread from your jacket. Monoma was lying beside you, his arms behind his head as he gazed up at the ceiling, his usually sharp and teasing tone softened by the late hour.

"I'm glad I never lost you," Monoma said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence between you. You looked over at him, a small smile tugging at your lips.

"Why would you ever lose me?" you asked, half-joking.

"Because of my feelings," he replied quietly, and your heart gave a tiny skip at the unexpected seriousness in his voice. You shifted slightly, leaning closer.

"Your feelings?"

Monoma sighed, sitting up slightly so that he could face you. His eyes, usually brimming with mischief, were focused on you with an intensity that made your stomach twist. "I'm not in love with you anymore."

The words hung in the air, sinking into the quiet room, and you felt your breath catch. "I didn’t know you ever were," you whispered, your confusion clear in your voice.

Monoma blinked, clearly taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"What do you mean?" you asked, your voice softer now, almost afraid to break whatever fragile thing was hanging between you. "You're not in love with me anymore? You were in love with me?"

His brows furrowed. "Yes, we've talked about this. You always turned me down, so I decided it was best to get over it before I ruined everything."

Your head spun, struggling to grasp what he was saying. "We talked about this?"

Monoma nodded, his expression a mix of confusion and frustration. "Yes, multiple times."

You stared at him, your mind racing back through all the conversations you’d had, trying to remember any moment that even hinted at a confession. "We’ve never once discussed this, Neito."

His confusion mirrored your own, and suddenly it felt like you were on two different planes of understanding. You never noticed. You had never realized he was trying to tell you how he felt all those times. And now, the weight of what you hadn't known crushed your chest.

Silence fell between you, thick and uncomfortable.

"I didn't know," you whispered, feeling a dull ache form in your chest. Over the last few months, you had started seeing him differently. He was your best friend, but the longer you spent with him, the more you realized that your feelings had changed. And now, hearing that he had moved on while you were only just catching up—it hurt.

"I didn’t know you were in love with me." You forced a small laugh, but it was hollow. "And now it doesn’t even matter anymore."

Monoma’s face shifted into confusion again. "What? What do you mean?"

You swallowed hard, pushing yourself up off his bed. "It's late. I should go." Your voice cracked, and you hated yourself for it, but the reality of the situation was too overwhelming. You needed to be alone to process it.

Monoma sat up quickly, his eyes wide with concern. "Wait-"

"I'll see you tomorrow," you cut him off, forcing a small smile before slipping out of his room. Your heart pounded in your chest as you made your way down the dimly lit hallway, trying to sort through everything that had just unfolded. He wasn’t in love with you anymore. But the ache in your chest was because you had fallen for him, and now it was too late.

Over the next few days, you couldn’t help but pull away from Monoma. It wasn’t intentional at first, but every time you saw him, a sinking feeling dragged you down, reminding you that whatever chance you might’ve had was gone. Conversations were shorter, and you didn’t stay for your usual late-night talks.

It didn’t take long for Monoma to notice. On the fifth day, your phone buzzed with a message from him.

Monoma: Come over, we need to talk.

Your heart skipped a beat, but you brushed it off. This was normal, right? The two of you talked all the time. There was nothing unusual about him asking you over. Still, as you made your way to his dorm, you couldn’t help the knot that twisted tighter in your stomach.

When you arrived, Monoma wasted no time. As soon as the door clicked shut, he turned to face you, his expression serious. "You've been avoiding me."

"I haven’t-"

"Yes, you have." His voice was firm, but there was something softer underneath, something that felt like worry. "What's going on?"

You swallowed hard, unable to look him in the eyes. "I didn’t know," you whispered.

"Didn’t know what?"

"About your feelings," you continued, your voice trembling slightly. "And when I finally realized I..." You trailed off, biting your lip. "I didn’t know you had moved on. It just... it hurt. Because I started to realize I have feelings for you too."

Monoma froze, his breath catching as your words sank in.

"But then you told me you weren’t in love with me anymore, so I thought-" You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to look at him, your heart aching as you saw the shock in his eyes. "I thought I’d just get out of your way."

The silence was deafening, and for a moment, you regretted saying anything at all. But then Monoma stepped forward, closing the gap between you in two strides. Before you could say anything else, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you.

It was sudden, and yet it felt like something that had been waiting to happen for a long time. When he pulled away, his voice was a soft murmur. "I never moved on."

You blinked up at him, your heart racing. "But you said-"

"I tried," Monoma admitted, his thumb brushing your cheek. "I tried to get over it because I didn’t want to lose you as a friend. But I never could. You’re too important to me."

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips, and before you could stop yourself, you kissed him again. When you pulled back, you saw the soft look in his eyes, the same one you had always been too blind to notice.

"I guess we’re both pretty terrible at talking about feelings," you teased, your voice light.

Monoma chuckled softly, pulling you closer. "Guess we’ll just have to make up for lost time."

a/n longer then expected but legit could not leave it angsty, just had to end it with sme fluff

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[maiyami]

𝑷𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 & 𝑪𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎

𝙋𝙧𝙤-𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙆𝙖𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙞 𝘽𝙖𝙠𝙪𝙜𝙤𝙪 𝙭 𝙋𝙧𝙤-𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙁𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

Minors Do Not Interact

All characters aged up, 21+.

One Shot

Warnings: Smut, fluff, pinning (Bakugou), mentions of fighting, mentions of blood, pheromones, breeding kink, lewd, mutual feelings, friends to lovers, mentions of Deku having a crush on you, jealousy, and more. (If I missed anything, my bad I did this half asleep.)

About: Number two hero Katsuki Bakugou just can’t seem to get you off his mind. Harboring a secret crush on you since your days at UA. But when you finally come back from a mission that took you overseas, he can’t help but want to keep next to you at all times.

It felt like forever since you step foot back in Japan, the United States needed the aid of some of Japans finest heroes on a year long mission. You had kept in contact with all of your friends during your time there, just making sure everything was going smoothly back home. You especially kept in touch with Japans number two hero, Bakugou Katsuki.

It wasn’t uncommon to have a conversation a day with the explosion hero before departing for your mission. You ended up becoming closer to him than ever before when everyone graduated UA. However, your conversations became longer once you left for the states.

It started off as little conversations about your mission, asking how long you’d be gone. How many heroes were taken for the mission. Which part of the states you’d be in. The main topic being about the mission, but somewhere along the way it morphed into something more. More of how has your day been? Did you rest enough? What did you have for dinner? Have you gone out at all since being in the states? You should have seen what happened to me today! I have to go to this stupid hero gala, pray I don’t blow anyone up! Just a subtle yet progressive movement of your friendship with the blonde. You didn’t mind it a bit, over the years you secretly looked forward to having these kind of meaningful and meaningless conversations with him.

He had been messaging, calling, and even FaceTiming with you all the way up to your return home. A chuckle coming to your lips as to saw his name flash on your phone screen the moment your plane landed in Japan.

Blasty (5:30am): “You better be fucking ready for everyone to flood you with welcome home messages. But I had to be the first to beat all those extras.”

You (5:34am): “Always aiming to be number one, huh Katsu?”

Blasty (5:35am): “Damn right! Welcome home, y/n.”

You (5:43am): “Thank you! My agency is throwing a massive ball for the return of all of us! You better be there.”

Blasty (5:44am): “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Princess. Who ya take me for? Kaminari?”

You (5:59am): “LOL. Never. I can’t wait to see you!”

You pocketed your phone away after you saw the gif he send a second later, a guy giving a thumbs up with a deadpanning face. If anyone else looked at the messages between the pair of you? It would look like a couple just having a cheeky conversation. You sometimes wished it was that way. But you had long given up the idea of Bakugou looking at you in that type of light. Content of having him become your best friend. However, on the other side of the phone? Bakugou Katsuki couldn’t wait to see your beautiful face.

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“What’s got you smiling at your phone so early in the morning, Bakubro?” Kirishima's voice sounded out behind the fiery blonde. Bakugou quickly pocketed his phone away to give a glare at his best friend and roommate.

“Mind your business, shitty hair! I wasn’t smilin’…” Bakugou huffed, his nostrils flaring as his friend could only laugh at him. Making the blonde return more rage at his red haired companion. “What you laughin’ at shit for brains?! You got a death wish?”

Kirishima clutched his sides, pretending to wipe away a tear from his lash line. After he was done with his little laughing fit, he looked at his best friend with joy and happiness in his eyes. “She’s finally back home, huh?” He couldn't help the shit-eating grin that spread across his face. While his hot-headed best friend looked as if he stole the last cookie from the cookie jar.

Bakugou nodded back at Kirishima, shoving his phone back into his pocket before huffing out. "I wanted to be the first one to welcome her back..." He felt his cheek become hot, he knew that it was stupid to harbor this crush still. He could just be honest with how he felt. Somewhere deep down inside, he felt like you wouldn't accept him back. He couldn't bare the thought of losing you if that was the case. He was content to just be on the sidelines for you, something he would never do for anyone else in his life.

Kirishima didn't understand why his best friend would get so embarrassed by something like this. It wasn't like you hadn't seen every side of Katsuki before. You stuck around him through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. Just like he did. If anyone was perfect enough, or meant to be with Katsuki? It was you.

"Should just tell her, man. You look like a little puppy whenever you speak with her. It's cute." Kirishima laughed as he started to run off, hearing a pillow smack into the wall he rounded while Bakugou screamed curses at him.

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It wasn't even two days later when your hero agency threw this massive party to welcome back home all of the heroes that went overseas. Everyone who was anyone was attending, which meant all of your pro-hero friends were coming to see you. Sure, you were excited to see them all. Catch up face to face, but you were most excited to see Bakugou.

The stylest that was given to you, dressed you to the nines. Your sequence crimson dress was snug to your frame, hanging low at your back. A pair of black heels to match along with your black clutch, honestly you were a sight to behold. Anyone's imagination could run wild seeing you in this dress. It just made everything fit in the right place. Light make-up, nothing too distracting from your choice in formal wear. However, tonight you decided not to hide the scar that ran along the left side of your face. Right over your eye, it slit your eyebrow a little. You were tired of trying to hide it at this point, you weren't ashamed of it. Just a battle scar you picked up in the States.

You wouldn't say you were nervous, there was however a little hum that stayed in the back of your mind. Was this going to be overwhelming? Was it going to be too much for just coming back home? What if people didn't remember you? These thoughts flooded your mind the whole car ride to your agency. Only for them to be stopped as you saw the flashes of the shutterbugs waiting at the entrance to get pictures of the arriving heroes. Shouting question after question as you exited the car, giving them your best-practiced smile as you made your way inside.

Your agency didn't cut costs for how well they did the place up, it honestly didn't even look like an agency anymore. They turned a brick office building, into a stunning ball-like palace. With food that almost looked too good to eat, and music that made the place feel light and airy. It was refreshing, to say the least, it made your heart warm. It also caused your quirk to emanate off you slightly, the scent of peaches wafting into the air as you moved through a sea of people. Finally spotting a face that you had come to be very friendly with over the past year away. Rushing to get to their side and feel a bit of comfort.

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Bakugou Katsuki was never late for anything, but tonight was different. Since Kirishima promised that they would give Kaminari a ride, they were going to be late. Much later than Bakugou could tolerate at this point. He was antsy, shaking his leg in the backseat as they finally made their way to the agency. Thirty fucking minutes later than they should have been if only that damned Kaminari was ready on time...Bakugou would have already seen your pretty face. Hear your breath-taking laugh, and held you close to him. It was all that was keeping him sane for the car ride, that he will be able to do that soon.

Decked out in a tux, with a crimson red tie to match his eyes he finally arrived at your agency. Glaring and hissing at the shutterbugs as he pushed his way into the building. He had a set goal, finding you. Hastily pushing through the crowd, but what really caught his attention to find you was the smell of peaches in the air. That syrupy smell made his mouth water and filled his senses with nothing but you. If he was honest with himself, he used to hate it. It was so distracting, it would make his mind mush. Make his teeth ache with the smell alone while making his pants tighter around his crotch. After years of knowing you, letting that scent take over his mind again and again? He welcome it, he craved it in his daily life. Even went as far as buying peach rings or peach-flavored yogurt just so it would be like you were always with him. He loved the scent, following the trail that lead to you.

That's when he saw you standing at the bar, looking as beautiful as the day he first met you. He took you in for a moment, relishing in the way your nose scrunched up as you laughed. How you would tip your head back a little to stop that laughter, and how your cheeks were dusted pink from the drinks you already had in your system. You were a vision in his eyes, the most gorgeous thing he ever got the pleasure of being around. But that all faded for a second as he noticed who you were with.

Even though Bakugou had made his peace with Izuku, he couldn't help that little green monster of jealousy rear its ugly head within him. Watching you shower Izuku in your warmth and joy, sucked it right out of Bakugou himself. That was supposed to be him making you laugh, making you touch his arm for support. Not Deku. Anyone but Deku. He almost walked away, he almost went in a different direction. Not wanting to say the wrong thing as he watched his long-time friend flirt with the girl of his dreams. However, you had caught his eye. Excusing yourself from Izuku to practically run up to Bakugou.

"Katsuki! You came!" You yelled over the other people speaking and the music. Pulling the blonde into a tight embrace. Bakugou felt his whole body stiffen for a moment, his brain stalling. Before correcting himself, wrapping his arms around you. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled that sickly sweet scent that he loved. Basking in your presence a little longer than what typical friends would do. Before unraveling himself from your body.

"Course I did, Princess. Wouldn't miss it for the world." He rasped low, Keeping a hand on your waist as you beamed up at him. This is what he has been waiting for, for a year now. To just be around you, be close to you. Once he finally took all of you in, his brows furrowed a bit. Bringing a thumb up to rub at the tail end of your scar that hit your cheekbone. "When did ya get this?"

You paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before speaking back at him. "Maybe about a month or so into the mission." You brought your own hand up and over Bakugou's, rubbing the top of his hand for a moment before continuing. "I had to keep up with appearances over there, so my PR team made me cover it up all the time. I just...didn't feel like hiding it anymore."

"Why didn't you mention it to me? How ya get it?" He rasped again, a little bite to his question. Almost as if he was hurt that you didn't tell him.

"It was always covered with make-up, I didn't see the point of speaking about it when at some point I knew you'd see it." You bit back a little, not enjoying his tone. "A fight broke out within the mafia I had to be a spy in. A guy pulled a knife and I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Luckily I didn't lose my eyesight, Izuku was actually the one that got the guy away with the knife. So, honestly, I owe him a huge thanks."

Now that stung a little bit for Bakugou, not being the one to come to your aid. Not being the one to be on the mission with you. For you to owe a debt to Deku of all people. It made his jaw clench, and his free hand ball up into a fist. The light scent of caramel wafting into the air as Bakugou’s quirk was acting up. Most people wouldn’t really care that they could smell it but you knew what was happening.

“Katsuki…what’s going on?” You questioned as the scent of his quirk came to your nose. Causing you to hold onto his arm, trying to bring him back down to earth. Making him look at you for a moment. “What’s got you so upset?”

Katsuki took a deep breath, his crimson eyes finally leveling with yours before he grabbed onto your hand. Making sure his palms weren’t too hot to touch you. He led you out to the balcony, away from everyone else. At the bar, a certain green haired man was watching. A displeased look on his face before he chuckled to himself.

“Izuku, what’s gotten into you today? You haven’t taken your eyes off her.” Shinso finally asked his friend, watching him look like a wounded dog. His own purple eyes looking over to see Bakugou leading you elsewhere.

“I-…I got really close to y/n. On the mission that is. But I always knew I was coming in second. She’d speak to him daily…I saw it in the way her eyes would light up when his name came across her screen. I guess I can’t be number one in everything.”

———————————————————————————

Out on the balcony, Katsuki moved you both towards the small seating area at the far end of the balcony. But neither of you sat, Katsuki just leaned against the railing. His palms rubbing over his face once he let go of you. “What is going on.” You finally asked, holding onto your own arms.

He was silent for a long moment, his hands gripping the railing tight before finally sighing. His eyes never left yours, like he was staring into your soul. “I just…fuck. I don’t know how to say it, princess. Not without it fucking everything up.”

“What are you going to fuck up?” You would question while moving up to him. To grabbed his cheeks, making him keep his attention on your eyes before rubbing them softly. “Please, Katsuki…honey. I don’t know what’s going on.”

At the pet name you had given him so long ago, it felt like all his worries disappeared in a moment. Moving to rest his hands on your hips, letting his fingers dig there for a moment. “I-…I’m- shit! This is so hard…I’m so embarrassed. Goddamnit I’m in love with you, ok!” He finally huffed it out, making his eyes look down once more so he didn’t see the reaction on your face. “But that damn Dek- Izuku might have a place in your heart and I don’t know how to handle that.”

You gave his cheeks a little shake, making his eyes meet yours again. All yours showed was kindness and love, with the small smile on your lips. “Honey…Izuku doesn’t have a place in my heart. Maybe as a great friend but nothing more.” You said while stroking the sides of his cheeks, moving in a little closer. “Who have I been speaking to everyday even before I left? Who has seen every little ugly side to me? Who have I told everything to?” You asked, noticing the way Katsuki shrugged his shoulders. You chuckled a little. “You, dumbass. It’s all been you. I’m in love with you too.” You smiled at him brightly.

He couldn’t believe what he heard initially, his mind moving a mile a minute. He moved his hands quickly to your face, his thumb brushing at the tail end of your scar once more. “You do? You…love me? Princess, don’t bullshit me.” As you shook your head yes, Katsuki had the biggest smile that had ever crossed his face. He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was raw, passionate, and full of undying love. The way your lips moved together was like two people coming together to be one finally. It was breathless, it was sweet, and it was something you both had been missing for a long time now.

"Let's leave." Katsuki finally spoke after breaking the kiss, still holding onto you tightly. He wanted to take you away, he wanted to just have you to himself. Finally, he waited long enough and so had you. "Can we leave?" He pressed again as he pulled you into a tight embrace. "I just want you to myself right now, fuck everyone else."

You nodded your head softly, looking up into his crimson eyes. A smile was etched into your lips as you started to pull him towards the front of the agency. "Yeah, let's go. I have waited long enough to have you to myself."

The wait wasn't long to get a cab to pick you up, it was the wait for the drive home that was killing you both. Soft touches against legs, brushes of hands against hands, and let's not forget the smooth whispers coming from Katsuki that the cab driver needed to 'hurry the fuck up already.' It was actually really amusing to you, because what you didn't expect when you rolled up to the front of Katsuki's apartment building? Was him to basically throw money at the driver's face, and carry you all the way up to his home.

"Katsuki! You can put me down now!" You were laugh-yelling at him as he kicked in his door. Not caring that it was almost 1am in the morning and the door handle denting the drywall.

"No time..." He said softly against your neck, leaving a trail of open mouth kisses against your skin as he navigated through his apartment into his bedroom. Once he pressed you into those black silk sheets, everything hit you at once. Looking up at him over you, the desire and love in his eyes, you were finally going to be with someone you truly loved in this world.

The small little sigh you let slip past your lips as he nibbled on one particularly sensitive spot on your neck made him realize it too. Years and years of loving you in secret could finally come out in the open. He can finally express the way he feels about you, without even having to say anything. He just looked down at you, your hair all sprawled out in different directions, lipstick a little smeared, and the look of love in your eyes? You looked like a goddess to him.

"You're beautiful..." He said softly before moving back to kiss you again. This time it was more rushed, like he was hungry. He was hungry for you, slipping the straps of your dress down your shoulders. As your breasts finally became unclothed, Katsuki sucked in a breath. Your pretty perky nipples already standing at attention for him, causing him to lean down to blow cool air over one while he twisted the other with his fingers. It caused your back to arch into his touch, pushing a leg between his thighs as the top of your knee brushed against his already hard crotch.

He hissed a bit from the touch, having him wrap his lips around your nipple to give it a playful little suck. What piqued his interest the most was the way you reacted to his teasing. A high-pitched moan came from your throat before you slapped your palm over your lips. Your body was so sensitive, so ready for him. He moved his hands lower, bringing your dress along with him before getting rid of the offending object. Leaving you bare under him.

"No panties...fuck Princess...you'll be the death of me." He growled, something deep in his chest as he moved back. Stripping himself of his own clothing before moving back ontop of you. His hand slipped between your bodies so he could run a finger up your already moist slit. Katsuki's eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head when he felt your slick against his fingers, before slowly pushing two of them inside your sopping cunt. "Gotta prep you..."

You already felt full from just how thick his fingers were, working in and out of you at a slow pace. However, your eyes didn't leave his cock. It was so thick, and long as well. Veins in all the right places while his head was just a pretty shade of pink, dripping precum already. You didn't care about being prepped at the moment, all you wanted was to feel him deep inside you. You moved your hand to take ahold of his shaft, stroking it softly before bringing your palm up to his tip. But he quickly grabbed your hand and pinned it next to you.

"Don't...baby. I am barely keeping it together. If you touch me like that? I'll fold. Be a good girl for me, Princess." He said in such a husky voice it made you squirm under him. That granted you his smirk, all teeth. He was pleased with himself, seeing that you were so good at listening to him. So willing for him, such a perfect girl. You were so ready for him, but he wanted more. He wanted to taste you, to feel you quiver on his tongue. To see you lose your mind to the pleasure. But as he went to move towards your cunt, this time you stopped him.

"Please...I can't wait anymore. I want you inside me Katsuki...please? Can you please just make love to me already? I want you...I need you...Daddy...please." Well you didn't expect that to come out of your mouth, but you were so hazed over in pleasure and need that you didn't care. The name however made Katuski raise his eyebrows in shock. It made you close your mouth, eyes adverting his gaze now.

Katsuki felt his mind stop, felt it completely skip a beat at the sound of your voice calling him daddy. It unlocked something in his brain, it made him feral for you. His desire for you now went through the roof. Boy, were you in for it now.

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"Daddy? Oh...baby girl...you've done it now..." He smirked at you, moving his head back from between your thighs. Leaving a trail of open-mouth kisses against your torso, up your chest, and now to your neck. Literally you with every little mark he could leave on your body, claiming you as his. His tongue trailed against the shell of your ear before he whispered something lewd against it. "You want Daddy to put his fat cock inside you? I'd be you'd look so sexy with it bugling out of your stomach...hm?" He sucked on your earlobe a little before continuing. "Want Daddy to stuff you full of his hot cum...make you his?"

Your mind was running a mile a minute, it was so good, so much. As you felt his tip start to press against your slick entrance. "Please..." You moaned out almost breathless. "Please...fill me with your cum...Daddy." You begged him, while bringing your left leg over his lower back, trying to pull him into you more. "Will you fill me up?" You asked in such a sweet voice that it made Katsuki's whole body shudder a bit.

"Fuck, I'll do anything for you if you talk to me like that..." He said now somewhat out of breath. Moving his hand to take ahold of his shaft, to part your lips. The feeling of your slick already coating his head, made him see stars for a moment until he pulled himself together again. "Alright, I'm going to put it in Princess." He said under his breath as he slowly pushed his head past the first tight ring of muscle. He felt your walls making room for him, fitting the shape of him, as he slowly bottomed out inside of you. The pure sound of pain, mixed with a little bit of pleasure made his eyes roll to the back of his head. He fought with everything in his power to keep his eyes on your face, not wanting to miss a second of your expressions.

You were a vision under him, goosebumps littering your whole body. A slight arch in your back, the way your chest was raising and falling with a small pant in your breath. Your eyes screwed tight in pleasure, while your mouth hung open just slightly. You were beautiful to him. You always were, but in this moment you were ethereal.

As you felt him hit against your cervix, your legs wrapped instantly around his lower back. Keeping him tight against you while you caught your breath for a second. Your eyes opened slowly, marveling at the view you were getting. Katsuki's eyebrows pinched a little, lower lip snug between his teeth. A small bit of sweat on the side of his forehead, while his eyes looked at you with nothing but love.

Each drag of his cock within your tightened walls was like seeing the night sky lit up with stars. The feeling of him slowly thrusting himself in and out of you, so painfully slow had your eyes almost crossed. You were soaked, so much so that there was a lewd squelch every time Katsuki pulled out of you. The sound of skin hitting against skin was echoing through the room as Katsuki poured every ounce of how much he loved you, into your body.

As you felt your body coming to your climax, you accidentally set off your quirk. The scent of peaches and cream seeped into the air, almost like a thick cloud of desire and lust. You felt Katsuki shiver above you, hand gripping the sheets next to your head with such a tight grip. It made him pick his pace up, thrusting into at a back-breaking pace.

"Fuck- Princess...goddamn you smell so fucking sweet...so fucking good. Ahh, fuck!" He was losing himself above you, his face so screwed up in pleasure that it made you tighten around him suddenly. "Don't- shit! Don't do that Princess...I'll cum inside you..."

"Do it...cum inside me...please pleasee Daddy, cum for me?" You begged just as sweet as your scent. Batting your eyelashes up at him, holding him in closer as your tasty moans hit his ears like the best music he ever heard. Plus the way your cunt was clenching around him, sucking him in? Made Katsuki lose his mind.

"Ya? You want me to cum inside you? Want me to breed this tight little pussy? Yah...yeah you fucking do. Fuck ya, baby. Take it all, take it fucking all." He said while thrusting as deep as he could inside of you, holding himself there as he painted your walls a pretty white.

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As you both came down from your highs, Katsuki slipped out of you slowly. Taking a moment to watch how his cum was leaking out of you. It made his cock twitch for a moment before he let his fingers trail in the mixed liquids before pushing some of it back into you. At the way you squirmed in overstimulation, he chuckled. Moved to lay beside you, bringing your back into his chest. He was leaving soft open-mouth kisses on the back of your neck. Just enjoying how you hummed in satisfaction.

"I can't believe I finally got you..." He said in a groggy voice, the low grave in it making you shutter a little against him. That earned you a playful nip to the back of your ear. "Relax, woman. If you keep at it? We are going to go all night."

"Who says I wouldn't want that?" You playfully teased back, rolling slightly so you could face him. Your own shit-eating grin plastered on your face. You leaned forward to kiss him deep, letting the moment sink in before you were rolled onto your back once again.

"That a challenge? Oh...Princess...you have no idea what you have gotten yourself into now."

[grifffins]

🔮 The Fool’s Journey (Into Trouble) 🔮 | Ch. 5

Lilia Calderu x fem!reader

summary: A matchmaking event, a reckless plan, and a game that cuts a little too deep—because playing with fire always has consequences

wc: 8.3k (Chapter 5/?)

a/n: I'm reading all the reviews you're leaving, and it's filling me with so much joy, seriously, thank you so much! I promise I'll eventually get around to replying to them all, but for now, just know that I've seen them, I appreciate every single one, and they are absolutely fuelling me to get these chapters out faster. If I had to stare at this chapter any longer, I was genuinely going to throw myself off a cliff, so here it is before I lose my mind. I don’t know, I hope you like it!

And just a heads-up—ratings have officially gone up 🔥 y'all better handle this with care.

Ch. 4 ch. 6

also on ao3

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The next few weeks flew by in a blur of routine and mild frustration. I’d gotten used to maneuvering on crutches though not without my fair share of near-disasters and before long, I was downgraded to a boot. A clunky, annoying boot, but it was better than nothing. And now, I was almost out of it, counting down the days until I could finally move like a normal person again.

Lilia had been... Lilia. Ever present, always hovering just enough to make sure I wasn’t doing anything too reckless, but never crossing the line into anything that could be considered more. There were lingering touches, soft smiles, and the occasional meaningful glance, but nothing had really progressed.

And, honestly? That was fine.

Mostly.

Between the shop being surprisingly busy and my friends constantly roping me into their latest schemes, fundraisers, work drama, and questionable life choices. I barely had time to dwell on it. I liked keeping busy, helping where I could, and throwing myself into distraction after distraction. It was easier than thinking about how much I wanted Lilia but didn’t know how to move things forward.

Some days, it felt like we were stuck in this comfortable, frustrating limbo. We'd laugh, we’d bicker, we'd work side by side in the shop, but there was always this invisible line neither of us was willing to cross.

Still, things were good.

Lilia was still a mystery I was determined to solve, even if she sometimes acted like an impenetrable fortress. But there were moments, tiny cracks in the walls she put up. The way she’d refill my tea without asking, or how she’d linger at the end of my shift, pretending to read while really just making sure I got home safely. The way she’d watch me when she thought I wasn’t looking, like she was thinking about something.

And those moments? They were enough to keep me going. For now.

One afternoon, as I hobbled around the shop stocking shelves, I sighed dramatically. "Lilia, please, I cannot wait to be out of this boot. I feel like Frankenstein’s monster."

Lilia smirked from behind the counter, flipping through an old grimoire. "You only have to wait till this afternoon."

I shot her a glare. "Rude."

She chuckled, but there was that usual softness behind it, the kind that made my heart skip a little. "You'll be back to your reckless self soon enough. I'm sure I'll regret it."

I grinned. "Oh, you will. First thing I'm doing is dancing barefoot on the counter just to spite you."

Lilia rolled her eyes but didn't argue. Instead, she just said, "I'll keep the first aid kit ready."

I snorted, limping toward the register. "You should always have that thing on standby with me around."

"Trust me," she said dryly. "I do."

The bell above the shop door jingled, and before I could process it, Jen and Agatha waltzed in like they owned the place.

"Y/n!" Jen beamed. "Still hobbling around, I see."

Agatha leaned on the counter, eyeing Lilia with that devilish glint in her eye. "And, you're still under Lilia's watchful eye, huh?"

Lilia arched a brow. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Jen smirked at me. "Oh, it's not a bad thing at all."

I groaned. "Guys, please."

Agatha ignored me, grinning. "Anyway, y/n, you up for helping me with something later?"

I sighed, already knowing I was about to get roped into something ridiculous. "What is it this time?"

Jen wiggled her brows. "Oh, you know, just a little... matchmaking event."

I blinked. "No."

Lilia, to my absolute horror, looked very interested. "Matchmaking?"

Agatha smirked. "Yeah. You in?"

Lilia, without missing a beat, looked directly at me and said, "I think y/n should go."

My jaw dropped. "What?!"

Lilia’s lips curled into that maddening smirk. "It could be... fun."

I groaned, slamming my head onto the counter. "I hate all of you."

Lilia just sipped her tea, looking far too pleased with herself. "You'll survive, baby."

“What exactly is a matchmaking event?”

Jen leaned against the counter, grinning like the devil she clearly was. "Oh, y/n," she purred, eyes sparkling with mischief. "A matchmaking event is exactly what it sounds like."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "And why, exactly, do you think I need to attend one?"

Agatha smirked, completely ignoring my very valid concern. "It's a charity event, actually. Think of it like speed dating, but fancier, cocktails, music, a little light mingling." She waved a hand dramatically. "People will bid on dates, there'll be matchmaking games, the whole romantic shebang."

I groaned. "You have to be kidding me."

Billy, who had apparently appeared out of thin air (or just snuck in without me noticing), clapped his hands together. "Oh no, she's not kidding, and I am so excited for this."

Lilia, who had been sipping her tea silently this whole time, finally spoke up, eyes fixed on me in that infuriatingly calm way she had. "I think it’s an excellent idea."

I gaped at her. "Et tu, Lilia?!"

She shrugged, setting her cup down with a smirk. "You did say you were bored."

Agatha nodded sagely. "Exactly! And what better way to pass the time than by meeting some... interesting people?"

I groaned, dragging a hand down my face. "Oh my God, no. I am not getting auctioned off to the highest bidder like a damn prize goat."

Jen laughed. "Oh, come on. It’s for charity! Think of it as... networking."

Billy wiggled his brows. "With benefits."

Lilia quirked an eyebrow, but there was something sharp in her eyes now, something that made my stomach flip. "You never know, y/n," she said smoothly, "maybe you'll find someone... intriguing."

I stared at her, heat rising to my cheeks. Was she actually encouraging this?

I pointed an accusing finger at the coven. "You’re all just doing this to watch me suffer, aren’t you?"

Agatha grinned. "Absolutely."

Billy winked. "One hundred percent."

Jen shrugged. "You should be used to it by now."

I sighed, sinking onto the nearest chair. "This is actually my worst nightmare."

Lilia, standing far too composed and far too smug, leaned against the counter. "You'll do fine, baby."

And the way she said it, soft, teasing, but with just enough of an edge, made me wonder if she was enjoying this a little too much.

I stared at Lilia for a long moment, watching the way she casually sipped her tea, completely unbothered by the absolute chaos the coven was throwing at me. Mixed signals? Oh, she was full of them. She’d spent weeks hovering, making sure I didn’t overdo it, looking after me with a quiet protectiveness, and now she was totally fine with me flirting with other people?

Okay, Lilia.

Fine. If she wanted to play it cool, I could play it colder.

With a wicked smirk, I crossed my arms and leaned back into my chair. "Alright," I said, shrugging. "I'll do it."

The coven exploded.

"YES!" Billy practically fist-pumped.

Jen beamed. "Oh, this is going to be so good."

Agatha cackled. "I knew you'd come around."

But I didn’t take my eyes off Lilia, watching for any flicker of emotion behind that carefully composed exterior of hers. She raised a brow, looking mildly impressed but ultimately unfazed. “Good for you,” she said, nodding. “You’ll enjoy yourself.”

I wanted to scream.

Instead, I smiled sweetly. “Yeah, maybe I’ll meet someone intriguing, like you said.”

Lilia’s lips twitched, but she didn’t rise to the bait. “Perhaps.”

Ugh.

I was going to do this. Not because I wanted to, but because if Lilia was going to keep up this whole mysterious and unattainable older woman thing, then I was going to make her watch me flirt with someone else.

By the time I got back from the hospital that evening, boot-free and feeling like I had reclaimed my dignity, I was on a mission.

I went all out.

I pulled out one of my best dresses, the kind that hugged in all the right places, paired it with strappy low heels— I wasn’t about to push my luck after just recovering from a broken leg — and topped it all off with red lipstick. My hair was styled to perfection. 

I looked in the mirror and grinned. Damn, I missed dressing up.

Before I left, I snapped a quick selfie and sent it to the group chat.

Me: Ready to break hearts tonight.

Billy responded instantly.

Billy: BABE. I AM DEAD.

Jen: GIRL, THEY WON'T SURVIVE YOU.

Agatha: Show Lilia. Right now.

I rolled my eyes, typing back.

Me: No way. Let her suffer.

I grabbed my clutch, took one last glance in the mirror, and smirked.

Lilia Calderu had no idea what she was in for.

I arrived at the venue, the heels clicking confidently against the pavement as I made my way inside. The place was fancier than I expected, soft lighting, elegant decor, and the kind of crowd that screamed money meets desperation.

I spotted Agatha immediately, standing near the bar with a drink in hand, watching me approach with an impressed smirk. Her eyes swept over me from head to toe, and she let out a low whistle. “Damn, y/n. If I weren’t rooting for Lilia, I’d bid on you myself.”

I rolled my eyes, planting myself in front of her. “Alright, what do I need to do?” I asked, folding my arms.

Agatha grinned wickedly. “Eager, are we?”

I sighed, eyeing the bustling room. “Let’s just say I’ve been encouraged.”

She chuckled, handing me a glass of champagne like she hadn’t practically dragged me here. “Alright, here’s how it works. There are three... let’s call them options.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Go on.”

Agatha held up a perfectly manicured finger. “Option one—the bidding auction. People bid for a date with you.”

I groaned. “Hard pass.”

Ignoring me, she lifted a second finger. “Option two—the matchmaking questionnaire. You fill it out, they set you up with someone they think is compatible.”

I stared at her. “Do I look like someone who’s here for a deep connection?”

Agatha smirked. “No, you look like someone here to make a certain divination witch jealous as hell.”

I didn’t deny it. “And option three?”

Agatha smirked, holding up the final finger. “And then there’s option three... mingling, flirting, working the room.” She gestured grandly at the crowd. “And, honestly, that’s where you shine.”

I sighed, taking a slow sip of champagne. “And which one exactly do you want me to do?”

Agatha’s grin stretched impossibly wider. “Oh, baby, I didn’t bring you here to find your soulmate.” She winked. “I brought you here to make Lilia Calderu jealous as hell. So, option three it is.”

I arched a brow. “And if she doesn’t show up?”

Agatha shrugged. “Then at least you’ll have some fun and free champagne.”

I sighed, finishing my drink. “Fine. Let’s do this.”

Agatha grinned, looping her arm through mine. “That’s the spirit. Now, go mingle. And remember, eye contact, light touches, and laugh at everything.”

I groaned but let her pull me toward the crowd. This was going to be... interesting.

I took a deep breath, rolling my shoulders back and putting on my most dazzling smile. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it right.

Armed with another glass of champagne and Agatha’s ridiculous advice bouncing around in my head, I stepped into the crowd, letting myself glide from conversation to conversation. I laughed, I touched arms lightly, I made just enough eye contact to keep people interested without giving too much away.

And through it all, one thought lingered in the back of my mind.

Please show up, Lilia.

I scanned the room subtly, pretending to be fully invested in whatever some guy in a ridiculous suit was rambling about, but my heart wasn’t in it. I could feel the absence of her. Could feel the weight of her not being here.

The evening dragged on, and despite the flattering attention I was getting, more than I knew what to do with, there was an ache in my chest that wouldn’t quite go away.

I found myself standing near a group of women, effortlessly charming my way through another conversation, when I caught myself staring toward the entrance for the millionth time.

Nothing.

I sighed internally, feeling my excitement wane just a little.

But just as I turned back to my conversation, I caught a shift in the air. A presence.

And then I saw her.

Lilia Calderu, standing in the doorway like she owned the place, dressed in a simple but devastatingly effective black dress, nothing overly elegant, just effortlessly put together, the fabric skimming her figure in a way that made my mouth go dry. Her dark curls were loosely pinned up, a few strands escaping to frame her face, and those brown eyes of hers scanned the room with sharp intent, missing nothing.

My heart stopped.

She looked... incredible.

Her gaze locked onto me almost instantly, and I saw the way her eyes flickered over my dress, my posture, the easy way I was leaning against the table with a glass of champagne in hand and a smile that may have been a little too smug.

For a second, I thought she might turn around and leave, but instead, she walked in with the kind of calm, deliberate grace that made my stomach twist into knots.

Agatha, appearing by my side out of nowhere, whispered, “And there she is.”

I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. “I thought she wasn’t coming.”

Agatha smirked. “She didn’t think she was coming. But then she realised she couldn’t let you have all the fun without her.”

I watched as Lilia made her way through the crowd, her expression unreadable, but her eyes, her eyes, never left me.

I forced myself to smirk, turning back to the group I was talking to, making a show of tossing my hair over my shoulder and laughing lightly at something someone said. But my heart was pounding.

Lilia Calderu was here. And she was watching me.

Game on.

I took a slow sip of my champagne, letting the bubbles fizz on my tongue as I kept my posture relaxed, my smile effortlessly charming. I could feel her gaze burning into me from across the room, sharp and assessing, but I didn’t look her way, not yet.

If she wanted to watch, I’d give her a damn show.

“So, y/n,” the woman beside me purred, leaning in just a little too close. “You never told me what you do for a living.”

I smiled, tilting my head coyly. “Oh, you know... a little bit of everything,” I said smoothly, trailing a finger along the rim of my glass. “Keeps life interesting.”

I swore I could hear Lilia’s scoff from across the room, and it took everything in me not to grin.

Agatha, who was lingering nearby, nudged me under the table with her foot. “Subtle,” she whispered, her tone practically dripping with glee. “She’s watching you like a hawk.”

I shrugged, pretending to be unaffected. “Let her.”

I felt her familiar presence before I even saw her. Lilia’s energy was intense, heavy and magnetic, drawing people in without her even trying. And then, just as I was laughing at something unremarkable, I saw her appear at the edge of my vision, standing beside the group with her arms crossed, a neutral expression on her face.

But her eyes? Her eyes told an entirely different story.

They flicked from the woman leaning too close to me, to my lips, and then, finally, locked onto mine.

I arched an eyebrow, feigning innocence. “Lilia,” I greeted, taking another slow sip. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

She tilted her head slightly, her lips curving into that maddeningly subtle smirk. “Neither did I.”

Agatha, not missing a beat, grinned and chimed in. “Lilia! Finally decided to join the fun?”

Lilia’s gaze didn’t leave mine as she responded, “I suppose someone had to keep an eye on y/n.”

“Oh, I think I’m doing just fine on my own,” I shot back, playful but pointed.

Lilia’s lips twitched. “So I see.” Her gaze dragged over me, slowly, taking in every inch of my dress, my posture, the way I was standing just close enough to the woman next to me to imply interest.

I held her gaze, my heart racing. “You know, you could’ve just stayed home,” I teased, my voice dropping just a bit. “No need to check up on me.”

Lilia stepped closer, leaning in just enough that I could catch the faint scent of her perfume. “Maybe I just wanted to watch?”

I swallowed, my bravado slipping just slightly.

Agatha, watching the exchange like it was the best thing to ever happen to her, nudged me again and whispered, just for me to hear, “You’re losing, babe.”

I straightened up, regaining my composure, and smirked at Lilia. “Well, since you’re here... maybe I should introduce you to some people.” I gestured to the woman beside me, who looked suddenly very interested in this new development. “This is—”

But before I could finish, Lilia reached out, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear, her fingers lingering a second too long. The touch sent a shiver down my spine.

“Enjoy yourself, baby,” she murmured, her voice low and full of something I couldn’t quite place. “Don’t let me stop you.”

And with that, she stepped back, leaving me absolutely reeling.

Agatha burst into laughter. “Oh my God, she is so playing you.”

I clenched my jaw, staring at Lilia’s retreating figure as she casually wandered toward the bar, looking as cool and composed as ever.

Oh, hell no.

I was not about to let Lilia Calderu waltz in here, throw me off my game with a well-timed smirk and a touch that lingered just enough to make my brain short-circuit. If she thought she could walk away with the upper hand, she had another thing coming.

I plastered on my best grin and turned back to the woman next to me, who was still watching the whole exchange with keen interest. “Sorry about that,” I said smoothly, letting my fingers graze lightly over the rim of my glass. “Old friend.”

Lilia, who had just reached the bar, tilted her head slightly at my words, clearly listening in.

The woman smiled, intrigued. “Old friends who stare at you like they’d rather eat you alive?”

I laughed, but it wasn’t entirely fake. “She’s... complicated.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lilia's shoulders tense slightly. Gotcha.

Agatha, still lingering with a devilish glint in her eye, whispered in my ear, “Atta girl. Make her work for it.”

With renewed confidence, I turned my full attention to my current company, leaning in just enough to make it seem like I was entirely absorbed in our conversation. I laughed at all the right moments, let my hand casually brush against hers, and even threw in a little coy lip bite for good measure.

And Lilia saw every second of it.

I could practically feel her eyes on me, dark and heavy, her carefully composed façade slipping by degrees.

When I dared a glance her way, I caught her watching with that unreadable expression, cool, detached, but with a flicker of something darker beneath. Jealousy? Annoyance? I wasn’t sure, but I liked it.

Still, she didn’t approach.

Fine. If she wanted to play it that way, I’d push a little harder.

I tilted my head back, laughing at something the woman said, making sure my posture screamed confidence, my neck arched just enough to be noticeable. And then, as casually as I could manage, I said loudly enough for Lilia to hear, “You know, I was a little nervous about coming tonight, but... I think I’m really enjoying myself.”

From across the room, I saw Lilia’s grip tighten around her glass.

Agatha, ever the enabler, had appeared at the bar, bit back a grin and leaned against the bar near Lilia. “So, Lilia,” she said innocently, “what brings you here tonight? Surely not jealousy?”

Lilia’s eyes flickered with something sharp, but she simply took a sip of her drink, her voice smooth as silk. “Just making sure y/n doesn’t get herself into too much trouble.”

“Oh, I think she’s handling herself just fine,” Agatha teased, shooting me a wink.

I smirked, running a hand down my hip and throwing Lilia a pointed glance before turning back to my conversation.

But before I could say another word, Lilia appeared at my side, moving silently and suddenly. Her presence was commanding, and I felt it in every nerve of my body.

“Y/n,” she said smoothly, her voice velvety and low. “A word?”

The woman next to me raised an eyebrow. “Oh,” she said, clearly amused. “I think I’ll leave you to it.”

I swallowed, my heart pounding, but I kept my smirk firmly in place. “Of course, Lilia.”

She led me away from the crowd, her hand resting lightly on my lower back, just enough to own the situation, just enough to remind me exactly who I was dealing with.

Once we were in a quieter corner, she turned to face me, crossing her arms and raising a brow. “Having fun?”

I shrugged, playing it cool. “I was.”

Lilia’s lips twitched, but her gaze sharpened, laced with something I couldn’t quite place. “You’re walking a fine line, baby.”

I tilted my head, stepping closer, pushing just enough. “Maybe I like the edge.”

Her eyes darkened, and for the first time all night, I wondered if I’d pushed too far. But instead of pulling away, she leaned in, her breath warm against my ear, sending shivers straight down my spine.

“Careful,” she murmured, voice low and dangerously smooth. “You might find yourself wanting something you can’t have.”

I swallowed hard, fighting to keep my cool. “Maybe I’m tired of waiting.”

Lilia’s expression remained unreadable, her head tilting just slightly.  “Getting ahead of yourself, baby.”

I exhaled sharply, biting back the urge to roll my eyes. “And you love dragging this out, don’t you?”

She made a soft, thoughtful sound, her gaze sweeping over me like she was deciding just how much she wanted to let me have. “Mmm. Maybe. Or maybe you’re seeing something that isn’t there.”

Heat curled in my stomach, frustration and want tangled together, her eyes flicked down to my lips for half a second, just long enough for me to notice, but before I could say anything, she let out a slow, almost teasing sigh and stepped back, putting space between us. “Go on, baby. Enjoy your night.”

And with that, she turned and walked away, leaving me reeling.

Agatha appeared at my side almost immediately. “So... that looked intense.”

I took a deep breath, my heart racing. “I think I might be losing.”

And honestly? I didn’t want to play this game anymore.

Agatha grinned. “No, babe. You’re both losing.”

I groaned. “Great.”

I huffed, crossing my arms tightly over my chest as I watched Lilia disappear back into the crowd with that same frustrating grace she always carried. I turned to Agatha, my lips pursed in irritation. “You know what? I don’t want to do this matchmaking thing.”

Agatha, ever perceptive, didn’t even argue. She just sipped her drink and gave me a knowing nod. “Of course, no problem.”

I blinked. “Wait, seriously?”

She smirked, leaning against the bar. “I know when you’ve had enough, y/n. And right now, you look like you're two seconds away from murdering someone.”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, suddenly feeling the weight of the evening pressing down on me. “Yeah, I think I just... I need to go home.”

Agatha nodded, patting my arm. “Good call. Go home, take a bubble bath, and—”

“Eat my feelings?”

Agatha grinned. “Exactly.”

I gave her a small smile, grateful she wasn’t pushing. “Thanks, Aggie.”

She winked. “Don’t worry, babe. We’ll gossip later.”

I nodded, weaving my way through the crowd, ignoring the curious glances and the lingering presence of Lilia somewhere in the room.

By the time I stepped outside, the cool night air hit my skin, and I let out a long breath. The tension that had been building inside me all evening eased slightly, but the frustration was still simmering beneath the surface.

Because despite everything, the flirting, the teasing, the stupid mixed signals, Lilia still managed to keep me at arm's length. And I was tired of playing the waiting game.

As I made my way home, heels clicking against the pavement, I couldn't help but feel like I had just walked away from a fight I wasn't even sure I wanted to win anymore.

I made it home, kicking off my heels the second I stepped through the door. The silence of my apartment felt jarring after the noise and chaos of the event, but it was exactly what I needed. No prying eyes, no teasing coven, and most importantly, no Lilia.

I sighed, rubbing my temples as I walked into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and downing it in one go. The adrenaline from earlier was fading, leaving me feeling tired, annoyed, and... a little disappointed.

The evening had started off fun, with the whole “make Lilia jealous” plan in full swing. But somewhere along the way, it had stopped being about teasing her and started feeling like something else. Something heavier.

I wanted her to chase me. I wanted her to want me.

But instead, she just kept pulling back, staying in that frustrating space of almost.

I flopped onto the couch, staring up at the ceiling, letting my thoughts spiral.

Maybe she really doesn’t feel the same way.

Maybe the age gap is too much for her.

Maybe I’m just a fun distraction to her.

I groaned, tossing a pillow over my face. “Ugh, stupid.”

Just as I was debating whether to text Agatha and unload my feelings, my phone buzzed against my thigh.

I grabbed it, half expecting it to be one of my friends checking in, but my breath caught when I saw the name on the screen.

Lilia.

I stared at it for a beat, my thumb hovering over the screen.

Was she going to scold me for leaving early? Check on me? Or just... toy with me some more?

Taking a deep breath, I swiped to answer. “Hello?”

There was a pause, then Lilia’s voice, soft and measured. “You left.”

I blinked, sitting up straighter. “Yeah, I did. I wasn’t feeling it anymore.”

Another pause. “I see.”

I rolled my eyes. “Did you call just to state the obvious, Lilia?”

She hummed, and I could practically hear the smirk in her voice. “Maybe.”

I rubbed my forehead. “Lilia.”

She sighed, and for a moment, I thought she might actually say something real. But then—

“I wanted to make sure you got home safely.”

My heart did that stupid little flutter thing, but I pushed it down, forcing a casual tone. “I’m fine. I always am.”

There was silence on the other end, and for a second, I thought maybe she’d hung up. But then—

“I shouldn’t have encouraged you to go,” she admitted quietly.

I swallowed, surprised by the sudden shift in her tone. “Why did you?”

She didn’t answer right away, and when she did, it was softer than I expected. “Because I wanted to see what you’d do.”

I clenched my jaw, feeling frustration bubble up again. “And? Did you enjoy the show?”

Lilia exhaled, something close to a chuckle, but there was an edge to it. “More than I should have.”

My grip tightened on the phone. “You’re infuriating, you know that?”

Another pause. “So I’ve been told.”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Go to bed, Lilia.”

“You too, baby,” she murmured, and before I could come up with a snarky response, the call ended.

My heart pounding, frustration and something else, something deeper, swirling in my chest.

I stared at my phone for all of ten seconds before I muttered, "No, fuck this." Without thinking any further, I tapped Lilia’s number and called her back.

She answered almost immediately, her voice a little softer, maybe a little surprised. “y/n?”

“You’re confusing,” I blurted out, pacing back and forth in my living room, frustration bubbling over. “You are so confusing, Lilia.”

Silence.

I didn’t care, I was on a roll now. “You flirt with me, you pull away, you get all soft and caring, and then you act like none of it happened. And I keep trying to play it cool, keep waiting for you to make up your damn mind, but you never do.”

She didn’t say a word, and I wasn’t stopping.

“And fuck you and this whole age gap excuse, because that’s what it is now, Lilia. It’s an excuse. You keep telling yourself that’s the problem, but it’s not. You flirt with me, you want me, and then you shut me out like it never happened. I’m tired, Lilia. I’m so tired.”

I paused, breathing hard, and then it hit me. My eyes widened as I blurted, “And you never even gave me my underwear back!”

I was hysterical. 

I could hear Lilia inhale sharply on the other end, and for a second, I thought she might say something, anything. But all I got was silence.

And that silence was worse than if she’d yelled at me.

I swallowed hard, my anger deflating into something... heavier. More raw. My voice softened, and I rubbed a hand over my face. “I’m sorry,” I muttered, feeling the weight of it settle in my chest. “I shouldn’t be yelling at you.”

Still, she said nothing, and it was starting to hurt more than I thought it could.

I took a shaky breath. “I’m done, Lilia. I can’t take any more.” My throat tightened, and I blinked back the sting in my eyes. “It hurts too much.”

For a long moment, there was only the sound of my breathing and the faint static of the line. Then, finally, Lilia’s voice came through, so quiet I almost didn’t hear it.

“Y/n...”

I squeezed my eyes shut. “Don’t.”

Another pause. Then she sighed, long and slow, like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. “I never meant to hurt you.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, well... you did.”

Silence again, and I could almost imagine her, standing in her shop, looking down at the floor with that troubled frown she always wore when she was thinking too hard.

After another beat, she said, “I—” but she cut herself off, like she couldn’t finish the sentence.

I shook my head, wiping at my eyes. “Lilia, I can’t do this anymore. Not unless you actually want me. Not unless you’re willing to admit it.”

There was a pause. Then, finally, so quietly it nearly shattered me, she said, “I do.”

I froze, my heart slamming in my chest. “What?”

“I do,” Lilia repeated, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just... I didn’t know how to.”

I swallowed hard, my chest tightening. “Then why are you pushing me away?”

There was a long silence before she finally admitted, “Because I’m scared.”

I felt something shift inside me, my anger melting into something softer. “Scared of what?”

Lilia sighed again, and this time, she sounded... tired. Vulnerable. “Of how much I want you.”

My lips parted, my throat suddenly dry. “Then stop running,” I said softly. “Please, Lilia. Just... stop.”

She was quiet for another long moment, and then— “Come over.”

My breath hitched. “What?”

“Come over,” she said again, a little stronger this time. “Now.”

I hesitated, my heart pounding. “Lilia, are you sure—”

“Yes,” she interrupted. “Please.”

And just like that, I didn’t even hesitate. I grabbed my coat, shoved my feet into my shoes, and bolted out the door, my heart pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat. The night air was cool against my skin, but I barely registered it, I was too focused on getting to Lilia.

The drive to her shop felt endless, every red light an eternity, every turn slower than I wanted. My fingers tapped anxiously against the wheel, my thoughts racing.

She admitted it.

She finally admitted it.

But what did that mean? What was waiting for me when I got there?

By the time I pulled up outside her shop, I was a mess of nerves, my stomach churning with anticipation and something I couldn’t quite name. I parked and sat there for a moment, gripping the steering wheel, trying to collect myself.

Come over, she’d said. Not “we need to talk,” not “I need to explain.” Just... come over.

I swallowed, took a deep breath, and stepped out of the car. The street was quiet this time of night, the shop windows dark except for the faint glow of a single light inside.

I knocked, and almost immediately, the door creaked open.

Lilia stood there, looking... different. Her usual confidence wasn’t as sharp around the edges tonight. Her hair was loose, curling naturally around her face, and she had changed into casual wear, soft sweater and leggings, barefoot.

Her dark eyes searched mine, and for a moment, neither of us said anything.

I exhaled shakily. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she replied softly, stepping aside to let me in.

The familiar scent of her shop, incense, old books, and something distinctly her washed over me as I walked inside. She closed the door behind me, and the quiet settled around us like a heavy weight.

I turned to face her, my heart still racing. “I meant what I said, Lilia. I can’t do this anymore if you don’t—”

“I know,” she interrupted, her voice thick with something I couldn’t quite place. “I know, baby.”

The sound of her calling me that made my knees weak.

I swallowed. “Then why—”

Lilia took a slow step forward, her eyes locked onto mine. “Because I’ve spent a long time being careful, y/n. Too careful.”

I didn’t move, didn’t speak. I just let her talk.

“I told myself I couldn’t do this,” she continued, her voice quiet but sure. “That you deserved someone... younger. Someone with fewer complications. Someone who wouldn’t keep you waiting.”

I blinked, my throat tightening. “Lilia...”

She stepped closer, and this time, she reached out, brushing her fingers lightly over my wrist. “But you’re right. The age gap, the excuses... they’re just that. Excuses.”

I felt something break inside me, my breath hitching. “Then stop making them.”

Lilia looked at me, really looked at me, and I could see the struggle in her eyes, the hesitation, the longing, the fear. But then, with a slow, deliberate movement, she cupped my face in her hands, her thumb grazing lightly over my cheek.

“I’m done,” she whispered. “No more excuses.”

I barely had time to react before she kissed me.

Soft at first, hesitant, but then I melted into it, my hands gripping her waist as I kissed her back with everything I’d been holding in for weeks, months.

Lilia pressed closer, her body warm against mine, and I felt her exhale shakily into my mouth, like she was finally letting go of all the barriers she’d built between us. Like she wanted this just as badly as I did.

I pulled back just enough to catch my breath, my forehead resting against hers. “Took you long enough,” I whispered, my lips curling into a smile.

Lilia chuckled, her fingers still ghosting over my jaw, thumb tracing my lower lip. “I know, baby. I know.”

And for the first time in weeks, I felt like I could finally breathe.

But Lilia barely gives me a second to recover before she’s grabbing my hand and pulling me through the shop, her grip firm, her steps hurried, almost reckless. I can barely keep up, my heart racing, my body already aching for her before we even make it to her bedroom.

And then I’m there, being pushed back onto the bed, the mattress bouncing beneath me as I look up at her, chest rising and falling rapidly.

She’s standing over me, eyes dark and burning with something dangerous, something I’ve been craving for so long. 

I moan, unabashedly, because fuck, she’s so hot.  The way she looks at me like she’s about to devour me whole, like she’s going to ruin me, like I’m something she’s been starving for.

And then she starts stripping, slowly, painfully slow, slowly, deliberately, eyes locked onto mine the entire time. Teasing me with every inch of skin she reveals. She peels her sweater over her head, her curls tumbling loose, and I watch, breathless, as she undoes the clasp of her bra with deliberate precision, letting it fall to the floor, her smirk growing the longer I stare. Her hands move lower, hooking into the waistband of her leggings, sliding them down her hips with an agonising pace. She steps out of them with ease. My pulse pounds in my ears as she takes her time, dragging it out, knowing exactly what she’s doing to me, letting the last of her clothes slip from her body until she’s completely bare, standing before me in nothing but those dark eyes and the wicked smirk playing on her lips, and I’m left staring, aching.  

I can’t take it.

I stand up, lurch forward, hands reaching for her, closing the space between us, my hands immediately on her body, kissing every inch of skin I can reach her collarbone, her shoulders, the curve of her neck. My hands roam over her bare back, pressing her closer, needing to feel her. My teeth scrape over the pulse hammering at her throat, and I hear her breath hitch.

Lilia moans, her fingers tangling in my hair, tugging me even closer, and I can feel the heat radiating off her. I trail kisses down, across her chest, down her stomach, dragging my nails lightly, down her ribs just to make her gasp, desperate to taste her, to make up for all the time we’ve wasted.

I want her. I want to wreck her, hear her fall apart beneath me.

But Lilia has other plans.

With a low growl, she shoves me back onto the bed, straddling me before I can even react. Her body pins mine against the mattress, a delicious weight that has me gasping. She tugs my dress up, her hands rough and impatient as she drags it over my head and tosses it aside. A shiver runs through me as her fingers hook into the waistband of my panties, and without thinking, my hips lift to help her slip them off.

And then she does the same to me. Lilia’s lips are everywhere, hot, demanding, claiming me in a way that’s anything but soft. It’s hard, it’s raw, it’s pent up tension that’s been building for weeks, and it’s so damn good, and I can feel it in every press of her teeth, every bite of her nails against my thighs.

She kisses me like she’s making up for lost time, her hands gripping my hips tightly, grinding down against me, slow and deliberate, teasing me with the friction, with enough force to leave bruises in the morning. My nails rake down her back, desperate, needy, and she loves it, moaning into my mouth as she deepens the kiss.

We don’t stop.

There’s no hesitation, no second guessing, just heat and need and the overwhelming feeling of finally having what we both wanted.

I gasp as Lilia's hands roam lower, her touch possessive, her mouth following her hands, unrelenting, claiming every inch of me. She grips my thighs, spreading me open, pressing teasing kisses along my inner thigh, slow, deliberate, making me squirm.

She pauses just above where I need her, her breath warm against me, teasing, torturous. And when she finally looks up at me, her lips just barely brushing my skin, her eyes are dark, lips slick, pupils blown wide with hunger. She smirks.

“Took me long enough, huh?” she murmurs against my skin.

I can’t even answer, just nod breathlessly.

Lilia’s mouth is on me before I can even process it, her hands pressing my thighs apart with a hunger that makes my head spin. She doesn’t tease. She doesn’t drag it out. She takes. 

She devours me like she’s starving, like she’s been holding back for too long and refuses to do it a second longer. Her tongue moves with precision, slow at first, savoring, before she licks deeper, pressing her mouth against me with a hunger that has my head spinning. She flicks her tongue, dragging it over me just right, and I sob, my body jerking beneath her. 

Her fingers slide through slick heat, teasing, testing, until—

I gasp, my back arching off the bed as she pushes in, stretching me, filling me in a way that has me gasping for air.

She’s ruthless, curling her fingers just right, stroking deep, pushing, pulling, setting a pace that leaves no room for mercy.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve been doing to me, baby?” she moans against me, the vibrations sending a shiver up my spine. Her fingers don’t slow, thrusting into me hard, fast, each stroke deliberate and punishing. “The things I’ve thought about... every time you walked into the shop in those little skirts, every time you teased me?”

I whimper, my hands clutching the sheets, head thrown back in pure bliss.

She bites the inside of my thigh, and I cry out. “Those panties you left behind,” she breathes, her voice thick with lust, “I couldn’t stop thinking about them. About you. About what it’d feel like to have you.”

A desperate moan rips from my throat, my body trembling under her touch. “Lilia... please.” My hips lifting, chasing her, needing more. She hums, low and indulgent, before finally sliding another finger inside me, stretching me open, pushing deeper, pressing her palm against me just enough to make me whine. My hands clutch at the sheets, my body burning, every nerve ending sparking.

“I should’ve done this sooner,” her tongue circling me in slow, teasing strokes, drawing me apart piece by piece. “Had you like this ages ago. Been wanting to hear these sounds from you for weeks”

Her fingers press against that perfect spot inside me, and I choke out a sob.

She licks deeper, pressing her tongue flat against me before sucking lightly, and I jerk, crying out.

“Want to hear you cum for me,” Lilia purrs, her voice dark and commanding,  before she sucks harder, her fingers thrusting into me faster, curling deep, coaxing me higher. “Come on, baby. Let me hear it.”

And I do.

The pleasure crashes through me like a tidal wave, my body shaking, moaning her name over and over as I fall apart beneath her touch. Lilia doesn’t stop, doesn’t let up until I’m completely wrecked, panting, and twitching from the aftershocks.

She finally pulls back, pressing a final, lingering kiss against me, her breath warm and heavy.

“Good girl,” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to my stomach, her voice full of praise that makes me shiver all over again. “You did so well for me.”

I can barely respond, my limbs boneless, my mind hazy. But I know one thing for sure, I want more.

It takes me a moment to come back down, my body still trembling, my breaths ragged and uneven. Lilia watches me with dark, satisfied eyes, her smirk smug and dripping with confidence. Her fingers still teasing lazy circles on my thigh like she’s enjoying the way I twitch under her touch.

But I’m not done with her, not by a long shot.

Before she can even process it, I flip us over, pressing her into the mattress with a wicked grin. Her eyes widen, but there’s no surprise, just anticipation, hunger.

“Fuck.” The word comes out in a breath, barely a sound, but enough for her to hear.

She hums, amused, her nails skimming over my arms as if daring me to continue.

My fingers trail lower, slipping between her thighs, and I pause, my breath catching as I feel how absolutely soaked she is. The realisation sends a shiver through me, and I can’t help the smirk that tugs at my lips.

I pull back slightly, looking at her properly now, taking in the way her lips are parted, her pupils blown wide, her body already straining toward me.

“Oh,” I breathe, teasing my fingers against her, dragging them slowly to feel every bit of her need. “You don’t need any help, do you?”

Lilia’s breath hitches, her hips twitching beneath my touch, but she doesn’t answer, just watches me with dark, half-lidded eyes, her lips parted in anticipation. Fixes me with a look that makes my stomach flip.

It’s daring. A challenge. Like she’s waiting to see what I’ll do next.

“Fuck,” I say again, letting out another slow breath, pressing a little firmer, feeling how she responds so easily. “You really have been waiting for this,” I murmur, my voice dark, satisfied. “Haven’t you?”

She parts her lips to respond, but I don’t give her the chance.

I sink my fingers into her, slow at first, teasing, stretching her open, feeling the way her body clenches around me. 

And then I push in deeper, hard, and she gasps, her back arching, her fingers digging into my shoulders..

I don’t go slow. I don’t tease. I take her hard and rough, my fingers moving with purpose, curling inside her in a way that has her moaning instantly.

Lilia’s hands grasp at my shoulders, her nails scratching, dragging down my back, and I lower my mouth to her breasts, sucking one of her nipples between my lips. I swirl my tongue around it, biting down just enough to make her cry out, and it’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.

“Fuck, y/n,” she moans, her hips bucking up against my hand, her thighs trembling around me.

I smirk against her skin, flicking my tongue over the hardened peak before moving to the other, lavishing it with the same rough attention while my fingers pump into her relentlessly.

She’s so wet, so tight around my fingers, and it doesn’t take much before I feel her start to tighten around me, her walls fluttering, her breath coming out in broken gasps.

“So, you’ve been thinking about this for a while, huh?” I murmur against her chest, my voice dripping with satisfaction. “Thinking about how I’d feel inside you?”

She groans, her back arching as she gasps, “Yes... yes... fuck.”

I grin wickedly, increasing the pace, curling my fingers just right until she’s on the edge, her breath coming in short, desperate pants. “Come on, Lilia,” I whisper against her skin, sucking hard on her nipple as I thrust into her with delicious precision. 

“Let me hear you.”

And she does.

Lilia spasms around me, her moan breaking apart into something raw and desperate, her entire body trembling beneath me as she comes undone, gasping my name like it’s the only thing she knows.

I watch her fall apart, mesmerised, drinking in every twitch, every gasp, every sharp intake of breath, and it’s the most intoxicating thing I’ve ever seen. 

My fingers slow, riding out her high as I press soft kisses along her collarbone.

Her breathing is ragged, a deep flush crawling up her chest, sweat slicking her skin, and she lets out a soft, breathy laugh, pulling me against her, her fingers tangling in my hair. “I should hate how smug you look right now,” she murmurs, voice thick and shaky.

I smirk, kissing along her jaw. “You love it.”

She hums, her lips ghosting over my temple as her breath steadies, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on my back. 

After the intensity of it all, after the heat, the moans, and the desperate need finally sated, we collapse into the sheets, bodies still humming with the aftershocks.

Lilia sighs softly against my hair,  her arm draped lazily over my waist, her chest rising and falling steadily beneath me, and I feel her hand lazily tracing circles on my back. 

I shift slightly, my leg sliding between hers, my fingers still ghosting over her skin, unable to stop touching her even in the aftermath.

Her skin is warm, still damp from sweat, her breathing slow and steady.

“Comfortable?” she murmurs, voice low and raspy, and I can hear the lingering amusement in it.

I nuzzle against her neck, pressing a lazy kiss to her collarbone. “Very.” My voice is heavy with sleep, and I can feel the exhaustion creeping in, but I don’t want to move. “You?”

She hums, her lips pressing against my temple in a slow, lingering kiss. “Mm. I could get used to this.”

My heart stutters at that, but I don’t say anything, just smile against her skin, letting myself bask in the warmth of her.

Minutes pass, maybe hours, time feels irrelevant when I’m wrapped around her like this. Lilia strokes her fingers through my hair absentmindedly, and I can feel her breathing slowing, the tension that always seems to cling to her finally easing away.

I sigh, letting my eyes flutter shut, my body melting against hers. “Don’t retreat in the morning,” I mumble sleepily, barely coherent, but needing to say it.

She chuckles softly, the sound vibrating through me. “I won’t, baby.”

And that’s enough for me. With her promise lingering in the air between us, I drift off, feeling safe, sated, and completely tangled in her. Tangled in her warmth, in her scent, in the quiet hum of her presence.

[lossie92]

I went back to working on a short story for @iamdusttoo. They have sent me a prompt forever ago and I wanted to write something special for it. I feel like I've finally figured out the plot I want to go with and hopefully I can finish this soon.

The below is a snippet from that story. Hope you enjoy! ❤️

-

Warnings: none

-

Though he was somewhat confused by his husband's unyielding determination to woo him – and it was indeed wooing, no doubt about it – he felt warmed by it as well. 

Nobody else has ever put so much effort into getting to know the real him. Similarly, there had been very few instances of others calling him beautiful and he had yet to hear anyone apart from Madara referring to his mind as an absolute wonder. His husband had even prepared a dedicated space for him so he could continue working on seals and jutsu if he so pleased! There was never a time when Madara had refused to listen to him talk about those subjects and he often contributed to the conversation, which resulted in the two of them having heated debates about subjects such as chakra theory or the creation of jutsu.

There were many, many other things Madara had done that had endeared him to Tobirama, of course. Simple, but nevertheless meaningful things such as always having a pot of his favourite tea ready, adjusting traditional Uchiha recipes to suit his palate, making sure to bring a shawl or a jacket when they went out for a stroll so he wouldn't never be cold, bringing home knick-knacks he would like, gifting him flowers just because, respecting his boundaries and not trying to push past them…

What would he do with himself, he wondered, if he was robbed of it all? How could he possibly endure if he could no longer see the glint in Madara's eyes as they discussed chakra theorems or played shogi, or the soft smile on his face when he told him “you are beautiful” as if it was the most fundamental truth in this world?

Would he survive never seeing Madara again? Never holding him again? Never talking to him again?

He didn't think he would.

Madara stood up and turned before reaching for the light armour made of leather that hung neatly on the gusoku lake. He had seen Madara prepare it the night before after dinner so he knew what it looked like already, but it was different to see it now in the grey, dim light of early morning.

Hesitating only for a second, he crossed the distance between Madara and himself, one of his hands coming to rest against Madara's hand that was already holding onto the armour's breastplate.

“Let me,” he said quietly.

Madara looked at him for a moment before he let go and stepped back. 

“Of course, wife,” he said. “Thank you for your help.”

Tobirama said nothing in response as he picked up the breastplate and helped Madara put it on, and fastened it in place. He remained equally silent while tying the kawan kote around his husband's forearms, the haidate to his thighs, and the suneate to his calves. 

He thought briefly that kneeling before Madara didn't feel degrading or humiliating. It was an act of reverence; a way to show his husband he hadn't wanted, but cared for now that he wanted him to be safe.

[macravishedbymactavish]

First "I love you" (TF141 x GN!Reader Headcanons)

Since I literally can't focus on writing the series I have started, have some headcanons instead

TW: Swearing, typical COD violence and themes (mild spoilers in Price's bit), some clichè themes

Blog HQ

Ghost

Saying I love you...

You told him the first time he returned to your shared home following deployment

Sure the two of you had been together for a fair while before this, but its the first time you were alone in your shared space. It was the first time you really felt how empty home was without him.

You didn't want to distract him prior to leaving for the mission, so you whispered those 3 little words to him mid-kiss when he was home with you.

Heart full, and the breath you didn't realize you were holding all this time released. He was back in your arms. Your home was back with you.

Hearing I love you...

As with the other headcanons I write, I'm a firm believer that Simon isn't as emotionally unavailable or closed off due to past trauma as much as so much time in solitude. The last meaningful connection he had ended not the greatest, so he wasn't keen on seeking this out. It's been a while, our man is pretty uneducated in the modern romance department.

With his "lack of experience due to time alone" he is honestly a bit overwhelmed and terrified of this. He loves you, all of his heart. He loves you with the same amount of his heart as he loved them.

Sure, it's a different love altogether (familial vs romantic), but the feelings are overwhelming no less.

He clearly doesn't say it back right away (even though God he wants to). He wants to make sure he means it and portrays just how much he means it before diving right in. He wants it to be as close to perfect for you as possible.

Surprisingly, the perfect moment comes when you're falling asleep one night. You're snuggled into his chest, warm, content. Mumble a soft I love you, Simon.

His response comes naturally, a soft I love you too whispered into the darkness. Then everything just seemed to fall into place.

That night was the best sleep either of you ever had.

Gaz

Saying I love you...

I feel like with Kyle it would happen at the exact same time. Like....literally the same time. So imma just:

Saying I love you/Hearing I love you...

It would definitely come when the two of you are most comfortable around one another. Probably during a lazy night at home.

Cooking together perhaps? Little bit of teamwork, mixed with teasing comments and stolen kisses as you manuever around one another.

Or maybe playing video games (cozy couch co-op or fiercely competitive. No inbetween. Take your pick).

Flip side of the coin: you're getting wound down from a night out. Stripping out of the stupid fancy clothes you decided were a good idea to wear out. Spoiler: it wasn't a good idea. Next time let's do something more casual.

No matter what the situation is, you're doing it together and your hearts couldn't be fuller. Happily in the apartment you two share, just enjoying one another.

"I could live like this forever without complaint" you'd start, smiling over at him (even if he beat your ass at whatever game you were playing with no mercy)

"Didn't know I was dating an immortal" he'd tease back. "Share your secrets with me"

"No!"

"Why not????"

"I simply cannot share my secrets with a doof like you"

Your play argument ending in him trying to tickle you, or play wrestle you, or just anything that results in the two of you (INNOCENTLY) tangled up together. Like super clichè looking into the others eyes as you lay/sit there. Lost in the moment and realizing it's no longer "I like like you" but rather:

"I love you"

Said, by the two of you, at the exact same time.

Queue laughter, shared kisses and full hearts.

Soap

Saying I love you...

My mind automatically went to lost on a road trip trope. Like you two would plan out an entire day, wanting to visit the spot you two would hang out at all the time pre-relationship.

Except you're both too distracted by conversation and jamming to whatever playlist you had in the background to realize: your turn is well into the rear view.

By the time he realizes he's now driving on roads he doesn't recognize, it's too late. You're pretty far out of the way, and the clouds in the sky don't look super promising.

"T'hell with it! We have our lunch here" he'd propose, finding a small hill in the distance. "Our new spot™️"

So that'd exactly what you do. An improvised little lunch, in your new trademarked spot.

It was after lunch, when you both were full and ready for a food coma. You don't know what overtook you to say it. You didn't even realize you were saying it until his eyes dialted and a small smirk crossed his lips.

"You love me, aye?"

Hearing I love you...

He would have no hesitation saying it back, except for you playfully smacking him while yelling his name.

He'd be so in shock that someone as lovely as you would feel that way toward someone like him.

You!! Loving him!!

The next time he'd try to say it back, it would be interrupted by thunder in the distance, and the urgency to start packing up your things and getting home before too long.

It was when you make the journey from the vehicle to the house through the pouring rain when he decided now was the time. Watching you laugh, try and fail to keep yourself dry that it came out.

"I love you too"

"That's nice. But it's raining fucking hard so can we go inside and be cute after?"

You two were 100% cute inside after that. Lots of "I love yous" shared back and forth that night.

Price

Saying I love you...

Hear me out though, what if it were you captured with Kate (in that one mission, the one that solidified that Gaz shouldn't be in aircrafts anymore).

No matter how you feel in that moment (terrified, oddly calm, pissed to high hell) one thought would be in the front of your mind:

You've never said I love you.

Sure, you've told him the various things that you love about him. But never told him straight out that you love him in his entirety.

So as you sit, guns pointed at you. Ready to cause harm and death if needed. You find yourself reflecting on your relationship.

The ups, the downs, the victories and hardships. The way that you used to find his overbearing nature to be insufferable at times...you're now viewing it in a new light.

Maybe that's just because you're standing on death's doorstep wondering if he's going to answer today.

The crash, the chaos. You truly wonder if it's the end. Until you're pulled away from eternities grasp and brought back to reality. Face to face with your boyfriend who is clearly fighting back his own emotions. Still convincing himself that you're alive.

"I love you, John" comes out so naturally as you launch yourself at him. Ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of his gear pressing into you. He was here, he had you.

Hearing I love you...

John would 110% be beside himself. Trying to figure out how he let this happen, concerned that he won't get to you in time, letting his mind run wild with worse case scenarios.

Whether you work in the military or not -- you were never supposed to be in this type of situation.

Getting the call that you were MIA and now a POW caused his heart to stop. To grow a shade colder as he reminded himself he needs to breathe.

Won't do you a whole lot of good if he's passed out.

While he wants to call the shots and lead the charge to get you back safe, he does step back and let his teammates take point. Considering it's a glaring conflict of interest for him to be there, captain or not.

The entire time they're fighting to get to you, all he can think of is how this is inadvertently his fault. Running through everything to figure out where he went wrong. Where did he slack off? What could he have done differently?

He also vowed in this moment to keep you safe for the rest of your lives. Even if you hated him, if you never wanted to see him again because of this. He would never, ever anything like this happen to you again.

When they finally reach the front of the convoy, he's ready to pass out or punch someone out if they don't move out of his way. Much like a mama bear and her cub, you don't get between John and his love in this moment.

His team makes quick work of the enemies, as he approaches one of the doors. Heart hammering inside his chest, hands shaking slightly as tears burn the back of his eyes. Pleading to anyone listening that you be alive.

When you barreled into him and whispered those words to him he could've fallen over. His legs almost not supporting him. You were alive, you love him. You were alive. You love him. He repeated this over in his head as he held you close.

Whispering the words back, cursing himself for how his voice broke halfway through.

You were alive. You love him.

Taglist: @bloodonmyhands-1221 @v1naco @bowtruckleninja

[chapinii]

Many on Quesadilla island believe that Fitmc was very much closeted to himself and the world up until he arrived on the QSMP, but perhaps that closet wasn't quite as locked as some may presume.

With the environment of 2b2t being so rife with hatred and homophobia, a deep and meaningful relationship was always out of the question. But within its depths lay the rub, of Fit, going through the all too familiar queer experience of being very aware of his sexuality against this toxic landscape, and knowing the possibility of others out there being just like him. Others whom he could never risk reaching out to in public, but longed to all the same.

He'd heard and seen his fair share of casual to severe homophobia, as well as witnessing with some amusement how the homoerotic tension some players swear against can tear factions apart. He knows all too well the irony that comes with a land so dominated by toxic masculinity and bigotry. This is a place where a man will stare you in the eyes, caress your cheek so gently, then spit in your face in disgust before insta-killing you. Of course, the price for outing somebody in such a place is a pretty penny for sure. Being a blank slate in the land of anarchy is your strongest asset. The last thing you want to do is throw fuel onto the fire and give people even more of a reason to put your head on a spike.

And so, he kept his feelings repressed- for the most part. He'd hide a blush as he melted internally over a handshake with a particularly muscular allied base leader. He'd allow himself the luxury of a poster, of an old Hollywood western starring a (very) dashing cowboy, that he'd stick crudely on the bedroom wall of wherever he'd end up staying for a while. But perhaps, just a couple times, he'd had a few small but significant experiences: the touch of a hand on his for just a fraction too long, warm eyes from a face he can't quite remember looking him up and down, all but rendering him breathless. Split second opportunities that would make those feelings bubble up to the surface, too strong to ever truly ignore. Being a lone mercenary in a world of anarchy is all well and good, but God does it get lonely.

He and Pac like to take things slow. It's a mutual decision. Neither of them have ever truly felt the need to sit down and discuss why. Fit wouldn't like him to know what he thinks about whenever the subject drifts towards the two of them going any further with their relationship. Every time Pac makes any kind of suggestive advance, heck, even if he looks at the man for too long, his mind can't help but think back to one quiet night on 2b2t, so many years ago. Flashes of encountering a stranger, deep underground, of a clumsy, desperate kiss. Stubble on stubble, the raw smell of dirt and sweat and cigarette smoke. He remembers the thrill, the terrifying electricity of it all, until a clatter was heard in the cave behind them and the moment was gone forever. It meant everything and nothing at the same time, that chance encounter. It was the closest he'd ever came to a real connection with somebody. He didn't know what became of the other man who so urgently whispered 'run', into his ear. He could have killed Fit right there, made a point of it, and yet he didn't. The mere memory of it petrified him, but by God, did he feel alive.

All the same, he didn't dare risk anything like that again. That was until he came to the QSMP, a place where he didn't have to hide himself from others, but still he airs on the side of caution. He's afraid of getting things wrong, of throwing himself into something he can't run away from. This isn't just some random encounter with a player in 2b2t. Pac is different. Fit knows he's got a past of his own, he sees how it torments him sometimes. What if daring to make a move, even kissing him opens up old wounds for the both of them?

Fit's no longer hiding in the dark. Making things 'official' with Pac is not a once in a lifetime chance, but the longer Fit hangs around him he feels like it is. He wants to keep Pac safe just as he kept himself safe for all those years. When he finally lets himself get closer to his roommate, one wrong move and another hypothetical cave noise could sound, followed by the form of something even more terrible that could rip the two apart forever and send Fit straight back to square one.

Slow and steady wins the race. Slow and steady keeps them both safe.

But God, what he'd give to feel that thrill again.

[kremlin]

it really is alarming how bizzare and erratic and nonsensical my behaviors and actions have become and how much of a complete weirdo i am, not in a fun quirky way nor a dangerous and mentally ill way, it is certainly negative and probably a symptom of much more pedestrian but nonetheless very serious problems like a lifelong hardcore drug addiction and lifestyle that would make a doctors eyes pop out of his skull. i haven’t exactly been to a statistically significant number of psychotherapists to make a sample size but certainly a good amount of them, the more straightforward ones have admitted they do not know which direction to go anymore and all of them licensed to write prescriptions have stated that my issues are not something medication is suitable or feasible to address. when i wrote that post a few weeks ago about how my life has been a failure despite zero hardship and every possible advantage, i don’t think i made it clear that this isn’t upsetting from a “boo hoo i am sad” perspective but a “i could have absolutely and meaningfully contributed to society with my skills but i didn’t”. those words i wrote were absolutely true and after re-read and consideration things might be even fucking darker, the only fucking thing i want anymore, more than i’ve wanted anything in my entire life, is my own family and it’ll never happen for categories of reasons, you can’t be a deadbeat junkie and expect to have a healthy family, you cannot treat people the way i treat people and expect them to just put up with it forever, you cannot expect to meet women that are going to love you and want to start a family being in the shape i am and *certainly* not women that are able to have kids and still roughly around my age. it would be frankly a seriously unethical move to waste their time frankly because even a basic relationship probably won’t work out.

i’ve never in my life been as social and outgoing and fun as i am right now, never been closer to my parents and extended family, and never felt this lonely by a mile, even when i was in school and would go months without a meaningful non-coursework non-job-related interaction with someone.

it’s so fucking frightening and i am so sick of being this miserable and i don’t know what the fuck to do about it and the closer i look the blurrier it gets. this is a new thing in my life, i’ve never really even been upset for longer than 3 days. i think before this last year. i don’t know if what happened last autumn just completely broke me or the camels back. and please for the love of god do not think for a moment i am about to do the things usually suspected of people who say things like i am saying because i am not and feel embarrassed that i have to write that.

[cynthiaandsamus]

Samus's Morning Problem

"Gah..." Samus groaned, she'd woken up this morning with wicked morning wood and her loins were already throbbing. She'd tried to put her zero suit on but couldn't quite get it stretched over the full mast erection she was currently sporting. Since she had nothing to do today she decided to sit in bed and wait for it to calm down despite her heart racing in her chest.

This proved to be a mistake as her phone was soon lit up by pictures from her friends. Some where intentionally teasing her like Cynthia showing off her new bikini or Deunan and Sabine's sexy spaceship car wash, though some were more mundane and simply allowed Samus's mind to wander as she imagined how good Andi's ass looked in those new jeans or how big Loki's tits looked today. Her dick twitched and she let out a growl of frustration as she tossed her phone onto the bed. "Guess we're doing this." Waiting was no longer an option.

The bounty hunter's breath hitched as she wrapped a hand delicately around her girth, even this small amount of pressure provided her starved cock some measure of relief. Her toned thighs clenched as she started rubbing more eagerly, thoughts of everything everyone had sent her rushing through her head like a rapid-fire slide show. Once one hand got into the rhythm of pumping her thick member, another hand joined it, working along her hungry shaft with increasing speed as she sat on her knees on the bed.

Her statuesque body shuddered as both hands curled into fists while pumping her cock, so needy that she was ready to brute force an orgasm out of all this rather than worrying about any sort of technique, she just needed to cum badly. Her breasts heaved with every ragged breath and labored moan that escaped her lips, knees flexing to lift her legs a bit and work her hips more into the frenzied ministrations of her hands.

"F-Fuck..." Her hot breath washed over her lips as she moaned out, throwing her head back as her hands worked faster and faster, cock throbbing with need for release as the slideshow playing in her head short-circuited, no meaningful pictures being formed anymore as her brain flooded with pleasure and the vague colors of thoughts of the need to cum and breed flashed in front of her closed eyes. She was so close she barely felt herself flop back onto the cool sheets behind her, grunting as with one final squeeze and at least came, firing ropes of her seed into the air with an almost scream that could surely be heard from several rooms down, her cock twitching and flinging the hot fluid from her sheets and back onto her stomach and chest as she frantically milked every drop from her orgasm.

She didn't even feel herself stop moving as she ran out of steam, her mind blanking out for a moment as she found herself panting and laying back in her bed, her cock semi-soft and satisfied for now, her skin stained but glowing all the same. A small groan and a whimper left her lips as her tired muscles forced her to roll out of bed so she could go get a shower and wash off the ache and various fluids.

"Guess I can start the day now..."

[ransprang]

Vi + piss kink

Kinktober 2023

Vi - Piss Kink

You and Vi were on a 3-day, 2-night trip to Cameron Highlands in Malaysia. It was your turn to drive, and Vi was lost in her thoughts, gazing out the window. There was not a tandas in sight. You had been driving for the past hour, your eyes slowly closing due to the monotonous drive. Vi looked at you with a slight smile, but you noticed her wrinkled forehead, paying it no mind.

"I actually quite like the rubber trees on the side; it's quite peaceful to be amongst tropical nature," you said.

"I like being here with you, all alone in a new country," Vi replied.

You smiled back as you switched gears, bringing your focus back onto the road. Vi returned her gaze to the scenery but you noticed her thighs tense up as she began to squirm in her seat. You tried to put it out of your mind, but the hours rolled by, and Vi's squirming had only multiplied as she drummed her fingers on the dashboard.

"What's wrong?" You finally asked, reducing the volume on the radio, which was currently blaring the song 'Highway to Hell'. "Nothing, cupcake. Can we stop at the nearest rest stop? I just need to use the toilet." "Oh," your cheeks colored. "I think we passed the last one 15 minutes ago. There won't be one for at least an hour now." Vi's fingers stopped drumming. "Oh, fuck it, I can't hold it in that long. I'll just go behind a tree or something. Pull over whenever you can." You nodded tightly, your blush refusing to leave your face. "Why do you look so red, cupcake?" Vi asked. "Nothing, it just seems like such a waste," you gave her a meaningful glance, shyly shifting your gaze from the road to Vi's face. A look of understanding crossed her eyes, and her lips immediately quirked in a sly grin. "Is that so?" she replied speculatively. You pursed your lips in excitement.

You reduced your speed, wanting to drag out this journey even longer to watch Vi squirm. She always teased you; today was your turn. Vi had dangerously let loose of her seatbelt and began rubbing her thighs together, arching her back. You couldn't help but stare at her sexy posture as her chest jutted out with each arch, and those thick, muscular thighs slapped against one another. She was biting her lower lip in desperation, in pain. She needed to relieve herself.

Eventually, you spotted a place to stop the car and accompanied Vi into the forest. You could see her straining to hold it in, her flushed skin almost matching the colour of her hair. She turned towards you, her eyes bright and intense, "I really need to go, y/n".

"Please not yet, Vi," you begged her, as you kissed her pushing your body against hers, creating pressure on her stomach, pinning her against a tree. Your nimble fingers made quick work of her clothes and you slid your fingers into her warm folds. You reveled in the slow, rhythmic movement of Vi’s hips as she ground down on your fingers. She deepened the kiss as you increased the pace when suddenly Vi pulled away and whispered, "I can’t hold it in anymore."

Wordlessly you knelt before her, admiring the view as she took off all her clothes instead of just her shorts revealing everything, out in the open in the forest. Any trekker could have seen this sexy woman pissing. She got close to you, her pussy towering above you, close to your face as she released.

Vi’s eyes rolled back from relief as the warm liquid rolled down your face through your t-shirt onto your chest, beads rolling down to your own nethers. You felt so turned on, Vi fingered herself through her orgasm as she peed all over you. You slipped one hand down your own panties, you were already on the verge so it didn’t take long for you to orgasm as well. You both came behind the tree, letting out moans.

When she was done she stepped away, leaning against the tree, and pulled you by the hand towards her. She kissed you tenderly, and whispered, “Good girl,” in your ear. Just at that moment, you heard the rustling of leaves prompting you two to wear your clothes immediately and rush back to the car. Vi reached out to a big water bottle and poured it on you to clean up before getting back in to drive. She proceeded to chug the rest of the bottle, leaving you shocked. She chucked with an evil look in her eyes and sat back in for the next leg of the journey.

your piss,

admins sav & san

[catgirlbussy]

holy shit i just realised im autistic

i know this seems like a shitpost, and tbf i am laughing at myself pretty hard rn. it's dawning on me at 6 AM after being awake all night, but (if you care, and if you don't feel free to ignore too, have a nice day!) hear me out, cause this genuinely feels meaningful and insightful for me with how my life has gone so far. I spent an hour writing this post in hopes someone might find it helpful too :3c

If you don't wanna read my post pls enjoy this picture of our famous friend autism baby stackin those cans before you go~♪

(source: wikipedia)

l

like i already /knew/ I was before this moment, but i was thinkin about what i used to do as a kid and wow i am so autistic how the fuck did i not realise sooner. It straight up wasn't until I was already well into my 20's that I started to meet other autistic people online and learned about their experiences and difficulties from talking with them that I realised a lot of things they described matched for me too.

I live in assfuck nowhere so most of my life the only few times that I had met autistic people were like, folks who were nonverbal or whatever, just generally needing direct assistive care, and I never bothered to look things up on my own because I was already inundated with the pressures of growing up, school, mental health, etc. I remember one of the first times I had built up the courage to ask anyone about it, I was in the hospital because of mental health issues. This was in my second year uni, and when one of the doctors assessing me was asking me questions, I said I thought maybe I was autistic. He promptly and with a fair amount of snark told me that if I was autistic I wouldn't have gotten into university.

Thinking back, he was probably just an exhausted, fresh outta school resident with no special interest in psychiatric care (and also just seemed to suck in general), but it was enough that I shelved the idea for another 5 years.

Lo and behold, now I am lying here in bed, just absolutely gobsmacked by the VERY REAL idea that im autistic and like holy shit I feel so vindicated.

I've been on tumblr for just a bit, but I see a lot of folks talking in various neurodivergent circles about their experiences and that's been so wonderful for me. I also have a few good friend groups w/ a lot of neurodivergent folks, and that's been really exciting too.

Like, I'm still processing this cognitively as I'm writing, so please pardon this ill patterned post, but this feels like such a beneficial thing for me. Over time I've adapted a few strategies here and there to help myself accomplish various tasks, but now I feel so empowered to, like... actually figure stuff out.

Even after feeling confident I was autistic, it was this nebulous, floating concept in my head for so long of, "oh yeah im autistic or something idk," that I never really dedicated much effort to finding healthier ways to do things that didn't irk me or whatever. I don't feel like the label /itself/ is what is important to me here, but rather the awareness around why I do so many things in the ways that I do and that it's /okay/ that I do.

I don't want this post to go on too much longer, but I feel it's worth noting that I've fought for years with my family because they didn't understand why I was going about things the way I did. Again, remember, they all grew up in this cloistered hellhole too. But, surprise surprise, the times in my life that I have been doing better than any other are when I felt confident enough to ignore what everyone was trying to get me to go along with and instead just fashioned my own best methods (which also sometimes included informing said overbearing individual(s) to go fuck themselves cause I'm busy doing shit. It's hard for them to argue with me telling them as much when I would be completing X objective well, which is what they wanted in the first place).

I don't want to make this sound like I'm trying to be overconfident, but I mention as much instead as a sign of support for other neurodivergent folks to feel similarly empowered to drum to their own beat. Thinking back, I went from almost failing high school and ultimately retaking a grade to excelling in all my classes. Every single one. I know that's a relative assessment, you got variable difficulty levels, etc., and the grade score isn't important in and of itself, least of all because the school systems here (Canada) are a mess it seems, but just that alone as an idea, within the parameters of a particular system, I went from initial abject failure to thorough and lauded success.

Just think of what so many people could do if they weren't being pigeonholed into formats that absolutely aren't working for them.

I already have a boatload of (genuinely helpful by way of enabling access to proper education and treatment) diagnoses from my history of working with my (very wonderful and genuinely caring and helpful) psychiatrist that match with what I know about the neurodivergence term umbrella like ADHD, OCD, and bipolar, so it seems |autism| will feel quite at home in the group ^w^. I'll ask her about it at my next appointment to see if an official diagnosis has any value versus me just continuing to figure things out on my own.

Either way, I am thrilled right now thinking about the next time I get to shout

"FUCK YOU IM DOING AUTISTIC SHIT"

while an electric guitar squeals and lightning strikes all around me and I make cool stuff happen :3c.

[nobodylikety]

hello nyúl, am here to request a foreigner (spanish) reader who is in Korea for Uni and starts dating school president dahyun but a year into a relationship reader starts missing home and dahyun ends up calling readers parents to help her make all of readers hometown food or foods from there childhood and when reader gets home they are surprised by this gestured by ends up loving it of course, then you can make it even fluffier by dahyun giving YN 2 tickets back to Spain for the summer holiday as a surprise present

Hey! How are you doing? <3

You always send me good ideas and request for fics, thank you very much 🥺🩷 I know I still have some of your requests pending, and I'm slowly working on it! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

There is no place like home

School president! Dahyun x Spanish exchange student! reader 

tags: College AU! fluff.

notes: fem pronouns used!

For someone born and raised in Mojácar, a small city in the province of Almería, embarking on the exciting experience of studying in Korea, particularly in the vibrant and enormous Seoul, was practically a dream.

So shortly after your arrival, the immensity of said culture immersed you in an absolutely unknown world, where the main difficulty had been from the beginning the language barrier (because let's be honest, at the beginning you couldn't pronounce annyeonghaseyo correctly not even to save your life), although soon, between classes and new faces, you caught the attention of Dahyun, the class president.

And well, how could you not catch her attention? You always seemed like a lost puppy hanging around the hallways, speaking a language practically unknown to her, and for god's sake, it surprisingly made you look adorable doing it.

But again, and just as from the beginning, the language barrier presented itself as a challenge, so the interactions between you and her were mostly simple greetings and smiles. Because you couldn't speak Korean to save your life, nor could she speak Spanish. However, as the days went by, the spark overcame problems as earthly as a linguistic obstacle, through patience and friendly gestures, dissolving the difficulty of her first encounters.

Because beyond that, you and Dahyun had learned to communicate through gestures, shared laughter, and genuine expressions. The connection grew day by day, turning their friendship into something deeper and more meaningful. And of course, over time you learned one or another Korean expression or sentence, purely through the process of adapting to the environment, but it was no longer crucial. You told each other everything, without saying a word.

And as your friendship intensified, excitedly sharing your Spanish roots with Dahyun, as well as the tenderness of discovering Korean traditions together, the sum of each and every one of those experiences strengthened their connection.

Which wreaked new havoc on you.

So after some time, you felt trapped in a whirlwind of emotions. The attraction grew, and every moment with Dahyun was a rollercoaster of sensations: you felt fascinated by Dahyun's vibrant energy, her infectious joy, and the way she lit up any place with her presence; You felt anticipation for her text messages, or you got giggles and butterflies in your stomach when you looked at each other.

All of that was, according to you, the worst and at the same time the best that could happen to you. You loved being by her side, but you also feared the always possible probability of a one-sided love.

Except it wasn't a one-sided love.

Although you didn't know it yet.

Because the turning point came on a starry night, during one of the now routine night walks through Seoul, when Dahyun, with a special shine in her eyes and her heart beating strongly against her ribs, confessed her feelings for you. It was a moment full of nervousness, because the words were different, they were another language, but the sparkle in your eyes revealed those same passionate feelings and finally, love resonated clearly.

//

But after a year of shared laughter, walks around the city, and mutual support, you began to experience a quiet melancholy. You were nostalgic for your home in Spain, longing for the familiar streets of Mojácar, as well as the aromas of your mamá 's cooking and the comforting meals she prepared in your childhood, remembering how she used to say that 'the cuisine of Mojácar is the best exponent of the gastronomic tradition of the Costa de Almería'.

And for Dahyun, who never took her eyes off you (because deep in her heart, she still associated you with the image of the adorable lost puppy wandering the college hallways, which was what she saw when she met you for the first time), she clearly observed the melancholy in your eyes and didn't need to ask anything about it. Sje just knew it.

And with ingenuity and determination, Dahyun decided to take action. So while she was slowly laying out a plan that she hoped would cheer you up, one day while you two were sharing a quiet walk around campus, Dahyun took your phone with a mischievous smile.

“Would you mind if I took your emergency number? You never know when we might need it,” Dahyun said, playfully.

Without even thinking and with a giggle, you gave her the phone number she had asked for. Anyway, you thought it was always good to have someone other than yourself have your emergency contact, just as a precaution. You never know, right?

And of course, what you didn't know on that occasion was that Dahyun was planning something special. That night after Uni, Dahyun discreetly left to make an international call.

"Hola, es esta la casa de reader? Uhm, soy Dahyun y, uh, su hija y yo hemos estado saliendo por un año y poco más. Llamé porque me gustaría conversar una situación con ustedes" Dahyun explained respectfully, using the Spanish she had learned.

So, after a pleasant conversation (and less difficult than Dahyun expected, given her little knowledge of Spanish), she shared her idea with your parents. Together, they created a plan to transform your dorm room into a piece of Spain. Your parents' help was very useful for Dahyun, being able to recover numerous family recipes, details about your home, and anecdotes that only your true friends could know.

So with information in hand, Dahyun gave free rein to her efforts for the surprise. Since you and Dahyun did not coincide in all classes, since academically you had different interests, consequently you two had different class dismissal times. And that day, after the end of her classes, Dahyun had run to your dorm room while you would still be engrossed in your studies for about two more hours.

You had a kitchen in your small dorm room, but you didn't usually use it, since you had little or practically no time to cook something decent, and therefore, you tended to eat with Dahyun outside or heat up microwave dinners; so at that moment, Dahyun had your entire kitchen to herself and she was ready to get to work.

The first task that Dahyun set himself was to prepare Ajo Colorao, a typical dish in almost the entire province of Almería, including Mojácar, your hometown, and which you had stated more than once that you loved to eat. So in the kitchen, and with the ingredients scattered all over the counter, Dahyun immersed herself in the process. First she prepared Ajo Colorao, a dish that, according to your parents had explained to her during the phone call, is made up of a puree that has the consistency of a salmorejo and where cooked potatoes are combined with desalted cod, chorizo pepper, garlic, tomato and cumin, and that you particularly liked to accompany with bollo de panizo, a typical bread from Almería.

Then, the second masterpiece on her gastronomic list was Patatas in ajopollo, a dish that reminded you of Sunday lunches, characterized by family reunion and togetherness, as well as shared laughter. Dahyun remembered that your parents had told her that the trick for this recipe was to first brown the bread, almonds and garlic in a frying pan with oil at low temperature until it turned golden brown, and then mash everything in a mortar until it was obtained a a soft, but thick mixture. Soon she understood that this pasty mixture was 'ajopollo', and that it accompanied the potatoes.

The aroma that filled the kitchen while Dahyun prepared your favorite dishes evoked the homely memories of your childhood in Mojácar and while now she was cooking the papaviejos —a typical dessert from Almería, preferred by the little ones, and whose ingredients simply consisted of potatoes, milk , flour and sugar—, she reflected on the connection she had built with you since you two had been dating, more than a year ago. Dahyun had the feeling that with each ingredient that fell into the pan it not only seemed to carry with it the very essence of your hometown, but also your happiness. She had noticed how homesick you had been lately, and this surprise was intended to do just that.

Make you happy. 

Because if Dahyun loved something about you dearly, it was your smile.

With that in mind, Dahyun checked the clock, taking note that it was almost time for you to return to your room after classes. And it was just in time, because a few minutes later, she heard the slight struggle while you inserted the key, and then a 'click' when removing the lock. You paused for a moment, noticing a familiar scent hanging in the air.

And then, as you opened the door, the sight of the unfolding in front of you, left you speechless. Dahyun had transformed your modest room into a corner of Mojácar in the heart of Korea.

Dahyun, with a nervous and anticipatory smile, was waiting for you standing next to the table. Her eyes shone with a mixture of excitement and anxiety, while she held an apron that revealed her as the author of this surprise feast.

"Welcome home!" Dahyun exclaimed happily when you entered. Your eyes met and the knowing glow between them conveyed the affection and dedication she had invested in this surprise.

Your heart skipped a beat when you saw the incredible surprise Dahyun had prepared for you. In turn, your face lit up with a mixture of surprise and excitement, and your eyes shone as you recognized every detail that evoked your distant home.

"Dahyun, how...?" You murmured, not finding the right words to express your gratitude.

The table was decorated with details reminiscent of Mojácar, from small flags to photos of local landscapes. Dahyun had learned a lot about your culture and wanted you to feel a piece of home in that moment.

"Do you like it?" Dahyun asked, her eyes shining with hope while pointing to the plates.

You nodded, unable to contain your excitement. You approached the table and looked at each dish in awe, and Dahyun, with her apron on, began to describe each dish excitedly, revealing how she had contacted your parents for authentic recipes and cooking tips.

The table was full of delicacies, from succulent Patatas en ajopollo to the Ajo Colorao that you remembered with nostalgia. There were even papaviejos, your favorite childhood dessert, perfectly golden and sprinkled with sugar.

And as you ate each dish, you felt your eyes filled with tears of gratitude. Every bite reminded you of home, your mother's kitchen, and the family meals you had missed so much. Dahyun, carefully observing your every reaction, was satisfied to see that her surprise was achieving the desired effect.

But just when Dahyun couldn't feel happier and prouder of her small achievement, and after finishing dinner, you got up to hug her tightly.

“I can’t believe you did all this for me,” you said, your voice filled with emotion. "You're amazing, Dahyun."

Dahyun reciprocated the hug, feeling your heartbeat. “Your happiness is mine,” Dahyun whispered. "And even though we are far from Mojácar, I want you to feel like you have a home here with me."

But the surprise didn't end there! There was more!

Because while Dahyun shared with you a handful of churros, which she had personally gone to buy at a Spanish place in the area, she handed you an envelope containing tickets back to Spain for the summer vacation.

"I want you to have the opportunity to hug your family and enjoy meals from home in person," Dahyun expressed, her eyes shining. She then came up to kiss you gently on the forehead, on the nose, on the cheeks. She practically drew a map of kisses on your face, and you let her do it.

And so, between traditional dishes and affectionate gestures, another chapter of your story with Dahyun was woven, a story that transcended borders and demonstrated that home is not always in a physical place, but in the shared heart.

Dahyun was your home.

And that being the case, there is no place like home.

[bearpillowmonster]

Transformers One

REALIZATION

I'm going to start with a response to my trailer reaction and either prove myself right or wrong with my expectations. So the design choices, yeah, a little bit disappointed, I think because they're so sheik and shiny, they look like they just spray painted in-between blows. There are parts that look better than others but hey. The action scenes especially and I mean there's some really cool action when it's there, from about half way down, it has short bursts of excitement, I just would've like a little longer spurts though the pace of the movie tried to speed things up. There were points where I felt like they took toys to model them and play with them to get those scenes.

(Paramount, if you do another one, pick me, so that I can make a movie based on toys WITH actual toys. That hasn't been done yet, has it? Even claymation would get the point across. PS if you steal this, I'm calling you out on twitter and pursuing legally)

It's not like they just walk into a cave and get powers, they aren't necessarily 'special' there are other ones that have that power already. They're all born with cogs just had them taken away then given only to specific bots. So they just had to find them to reactivate that power. Yeah, I just spoiled that but it was a concern of mine before seeing this so it's a helpful spoiler.

The toys…were real, the ball and all, it's not used a whole lot because the movie had a different structure than I imagined because it wasn't "Oh we got these crazy new powers and are exploring a whole new world" like the marketing made it out to be. I think that might be one of the points that I'd bring up as to the low ticket sales for this movie, is the misbranding of it…but at the same time it's on brand because of the jokey nature.

THE MAIN SCHTICK

The bad@$$atron joke was used again and again, more like stupid@$$atron (that would've been a clever follow-up and have actually gotten laughs) So the humor is off kilter, a few times I laughed but it's absolutely nonstop with it's onslaught of quips. I feel like it had more than Mutant Mayhem but because of the structure, it seemed like less than Ratchet and Clank (luckily, which I consider the worse of the worse mostly)

It's directed by Josh Cooley so a good reference would be to say if every character were Forky. And really, I liked the actual core of the story because I thought there was a lot of good stuff there to do with the characters but the dialogue squandered it away and made it seem less meaningful. I was asking myself if it'd make a difference if it was the same animation just redubbed but no, it wouldn't, because a lot of it is built around these gags and jokes like the Transformers struggling to form down a hill. This is where the cast doesn't really get to prove their salt because they have to force an overloaded serious speech (sometimes broken up with quips from the others) into one singular moment. You can actually sit and pick out "Oh, this is their one moment. Ok, back to the silliness." It does seem to ease up each quarter though which I semi-appreciated.

OVERALL & WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?

Is it a bad movie? No, there was an attempt, it was fun. 3/5. Not the best one of the bunch, maybe I'll make another post ranking them. My little brother is actually 7 years old (I was 8 when I saw the live action one) so while he knows what Transformers are, this was his first actual Transformers movie so I have a kid pov too. He liked it but he wasn't laughing at all the jokes, he liked the ones in Minions (which I also thought were stupid but they were to be expected from something like that) but it didn't seem to have any effect on him or succeed in its attempt to be 'kid friendly' or extra engaging, I think it would've been regardless.