#like... im convinced these people have never been drunk

[z0r0z]

i rly want to write intoxicated sex but i don't want to get grief from the weirdos on here who think any alcohol/drug consumption = absolutely unable to consent

[s6ngbird]

only you — felix catton ᯓ★

⊹₊⋆ warnings — nsfw, p in the v, pretty much no plot, unprotected sex, fingering (f. recieving), overstimulation, lmk if i missed anything

⊹₊⋆ pairing — felix catton x fem!reader

⊹₊⋆ a/n — sorry for not posting for so long! exams were kicking my ass but im back so i will be wrapping up flowers from beneath soon

masterlist | bc: @cafekitsune

summers at saltburn were always delightful and there never seemed to be a break from the drama

especially this year, as felix invited his new friend, oliver over for the summer

you heavily disliked him, believing that he thought too much of himself and believed he could have felix wrapped around his finger

this was not the case though, as you were the one who had felix wrapped around their finger, practically convincing him to do whatever you desired

you and felix had been friends for a few years, but felix never followed the rules of friendship and liked to make out or fuck you whenever he pleased

it did bother you sometimes, since he would be so chill with fucking all these girls that it made you feel like you were just another doll in his ever-growing collection of people who were obsessed with him

you weren't obsessed with felix, but you craved his attention and validation, wanting his praise whenever you could get it

venetia noticed this first, laughing and teasing you about it but then it wasn't so funny anymore when she found out felix and you liked to fuck

but you couldn't think about fucking felix now, oliver had just arrived a few days prior and he was already taking up all of felix's time and energy 

you constantly got bad vibes from oliver, but felix never seemed to notice, causing you to confide in venetia and farleigh 

venetia was a bit hesitant but farleigh agreed with you, calling oliver a creep and that he probably wanted to fuck felix himself

this left you unhappy, already upset from the attention being dragged away from you, but especially now that felix barely batted an eye in your direction

all of this was finally resolved though, during one of felix's many parties

you were engaging in a mindless conversation with some random guy, who was obviously flirting with you but you pretended to be oblivious to it

you felt a weight on your shoulders, looking up to see felix draped over you, holding his cigarette and yelling at farleigh 

the guy who was previously talking with you gave felix an annoyed glare but left as soon as felix's attention returned to you

felix looked at him confused but shrugged it off and laughed, sitting down on the couch and pulling you on him

felix started placing sloppy kisses on your neck, uncoordinated and whiskey filled kisses

“felix you are so fucking drunk” you say, holding your cup away from him as he tried to grab it, but since his arms were freakishly large, he grabbed it with ease, holding the cup to your lips and pouring it down your throat until it was all done

“there all done! now i can take you upstairs” felix said, getting up and grabbing your hand to try and drag you with him

“felix no” you replied, exhausted and still upset that he had barely paid attention to you all week

he pouted and shrugged, muttering that it wouldn't be a problem, leaving you confused until he grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing 

you decided against fighting him, being glad that he finally was paying some attention to you and allowed him to carry you upstairs to his room

he placed you on his bed, smiling and stripping himself of his clothes besides his boxers, climbing over you and kissing you 

it felt good to finally have felix's attention after the week, getting to feel his lips on yours, and his tongue exploring your mouth certainly was not unwelcome 

you allowed him to unzip your dress, helping him slip it off your body as you two continued to kiss one another like starving animals

“whyd'd ya ignore me all week?” felix said between kisses, starting to move his lips down to your throat to suck hard as you moaned

“you were ignoring me!” you yelped as felix smacked your thigh and sucked on your breast hard to silence you

“i was not, i kept trying to get your attention but you only wanted to pay attention to venetia and farleigh” he said angrily, his sweet facade melting away as he pulled down your panties, ripping them off of you to reveal your soaking cunt

he grinned at the sight, not hesitating to dive between your legs and lick up all your arousal 

you moaned as his tongue nudged inside your hole, going fully in and then backing out, only to slam itself back inside

you tried to grip his hair for support as you continued to moan but felix slapped your hands away, looking up at you with a warning look

eventually he switched his tongue for his fingers, continuing a brutal pace as you took your bud in his mouth, sucking hard when you least expected it, bring you to your first orgasm of the night

he continued to pump his fingers into you, slapping your ass or thigh every time you tried to push him away from your pussy

“i'm not stopping until i'm satisfied with you, after all that torture you put me through this week, it's only fair” he said hoarsely after you had came at least three more times, everytime complaining about how overstimulated you were

he got off of you and you silently pleaded with whatever that was watching over the two of you that he would be done and just cuddle with you

unfortunately no one seemed to answer your prayer since he got back on you, stripped of his boxers and lining up his hard cock with your hole, the precum spilling as he aligned himself 

he slid into you with little resistance, sighing as his cock found home in your warm cunt

he stayed there for a little while, savoring the feeling while you continued to whine and push at his shoulders

he finally started to move, setting a rough pace as you moaned, grabbing his shoulders as you cried

“aw baby don't cry, i promise after this we'll be done” he said, kissing your tears and silencing your whimpers with kisses

you felt so overwhelmed, crying from the feeling of being overstimulated but also moaning from the pleasure coming from felix's cock

“you ok love?” felix says after a while, kissing you once more after you had doing nothing but moaning and crying but suddenly stopped

you nodded, tightening around his cock as you felt your fourth or fifth orgasm approaching

“atta girl, come for me” he said, his hot breath right in your ear and that's all it took for you to come undone on him, coming hard and gripping onto his shoulders like he would disappear 

he moaned at the feeling, kissing your neck and letting out praises between his moans

“gonna come in you, gonna make you mine” he said, thrusting once more and coming inside of you, his cum coating your walls

he panted, staying inside of you for a little longer before pulling out and stuffing his cum back inside of you, eliciting a squeal as you were still overstimulated 

“sorry baby, can't help but do it, you're mine now” he said with a laugh, grinning at your shocked expression

“no more girls? or guys? not even oliver?” you said, confused by his words due to his playboy nature

“no one, not even oliver” he said, holding you close to him and kissing your head

“only you love”

[amuyyi]

warm enough .

synopsis; recovering from an expected breakup, you find yourself drunk at a nearby bar, encountering an unfamiliar girl who happens to know your ex.

trope; non idol!ningning x fem!reader, uni au, fluff, a little angst, a little suggestive, strangers to lovers, feat. kep1er members :3

wc; 4.8k

cw; a little suggestive but not really

a/n; fun fact this happened to me irl ! figured i could use my experiences for stories ! everything from the breakup to the bar kiss is based on my personal experience so lol have fun. also its kinda poorly written because i wrote some of it while on the plane + in china while being very tired and i dont feel like proofreading so im sorry ^^'

The breakup was supposed to be a mutual thing. A smooth and easy agreement between you and Jimin. You guys met in a cafe when your soon-to-be-ex girlfriend finally dropped the bomb on you. 

“I still care a lot about you, y/n. But I want to focus on myself and my future… I think you should too.”

You wanted to speak up, say that you didn’t want to let go yet. Just… hold on for a little longer. Maybe it’d get better if you guys just kept it going for another week. Another month. Another day?

 “What I’m trying to say is…”

You always hated this part.

“I think we should break up.”

Despite the older girl being the one to initiate the ending of the relationship, you always knew it was coming. Jimin was sweet, and you definitely did enjoy the little dates you guys had been on through the past year, but there was something missing. Every time she looked at you, it seemed like she was looking through your eyes into her own. Her mind was always elsewhere whenever you two were together, like she was searching for something you couldn’t provide. She never seemed to smile around you, never laughed loudly or hugged you with warmth. 

You really tried to be the person for her, you really did; but it was apparent that she was trying to convince herself you were the one as well.

It was shown in the way she bought you endless gifts with things you said you wanted, but never kissed you, In the way she would allow you to hold her hand, but never reached out herself, how she couldn’t bring herself to say “I love you” out loud. Jimin was cold.

You agreed that this was the best path to take, how you felt the exact same way and that it would be good for the both of you, but the tears that nonconsensually left your eyes said otherwise. You still remember the last words you told her before you got up to leave.

“I really hoped it was you.”

There's a saying or the other. “Your body will know if someone is right for you.�� You came across it while aimlessly scrolling on social media once, and you thought it was an interesting but ridiculous concept. Countless people would share stories about how their hair would fall out or how they would break out into horrible acne when they were with their past partners, only being relieved from this when single or with their “match.”

It was funny, and you didn’t believe one bit of it until it actually happened. The tightness in your chest that followed you every time you two went out together, the stress of wondering if she actually enjoyed her company, the way you couldn’t truly relax in her presence– it all went away. It all left when she walked out of your life, and you’ve never felt more at peace with a decision. At least, for a little bit.

The breakup was the easy part. It was the recovery that ruined you.

You were the one to establish a rule of no contact, even after you both expressed wanting to stay in touch. It was your only way to hold on to the last sliver of pride you had left after spending a year chasing after Yu Jimin. The rule was established to allow you some time to heal, and you hoped to return to the girl as friends once you felt ready.

With this in mind, you then proceeded to spend a month barely eating, barely sleeping, and not leaving your apartment unless you needed to for classes. It was difficult to be on your own after dedicating so much time to her, falling behind, hoping that she would see you the way you saw her; but after about a month, you slowly felt yourself regaining your footing.

You started going out again, talking with your roommate, taking time to actually care for yourself. It was nice. Perhaps your progress would have left you comfortable enough to move on if you didn’t decide to go out that day.

There she was. Yu Jimin. After an exact 31 days of no contact with her, you finally cross paths. Quite literally, at that– but she wasn’t alone. There was a girl on her arm. She was pretty. Blonde with bobbed hair and a soft smile that made it impossible to hate her. Jimin was smiling too. This is the first time you’ve seen her smile like that, smiling as if she found what she was looking for after all of this time. She doesn't look past her. She sees her.

Jimin holds the other girl by the small of her waist the way she used to do with you, and she kisses her. She kissed her. Just like how she used to kiss you, but not exactly. There's love in her eyes. A warmth you’ve never seen before. In her eyes, there is certainty.

And that was the day your world came crashing down on top of you.

You tried to act normal as you walked past. You really did. Your eyes remain glued to your phone as your knuckles turn white. Her eyes didn’t even meet yours as you walked by. Why wouldn't she look at you? Maybe she's wondering why you won't look at her. That must be it. You hold your breath. As soon as she passed by, you couldn’t help yourself. You made the mistake of looking back.

…Nothing.

As soon as Jimin was out of sight, you cried. You ran home, scaring half the life out of your poor roommate, Xiaoting, as you collapsed in your bed. Everything hurts. Why did it hurt? You wanted this. You felt better without her— the tightness in your chest was gone. 

Instead, it was replaced by an indescribably painful ache. One that felt so deep within your soul it would never heal. Quietly entering your room, Xiaoting says nothing as she sits next to your limp body on the bed, rubbing your back comfortingly. The gesture only makes you sob even harder. 

She's been with you through it all. From the beginning of your relationship with Jimin till the end, she was there. Xiaoting really was a good friend.

From then on, Xiaoting’s one goal was simple: cheer you up. She would cook at least once for you every day despite not being the best chef, and she would allow you to rant about the same things over and over no matter how overbearing it got. Honestly, you started to feel a little bad. She shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for you just because you’re a little sad.

So when Xiaoting announces that you will be joining her at the bar with her friends tonight, you couldn't say no. Both because she stated it, not asked you, and that it simply was the least you could do for her. Especially after everything she’s done for you. Before you knew it, you were dressed up in your best (slutty) corset top and cargo pants with some hoops and over exaggerated makeup to accent the look. Xiaoting, as your best roommate and friend, matches with you, and you two make a big scene out of getting ready together; blasting music, doing each other's hair, borrowing each other's clothes, and more.

Xiaoting’s girlfriend Yujin had made herself at home for the pregame, and your mutual friend Hikaru soon followed. With Xiaoting as designated bartender, the four of you mingle, laughing and cracking jokes as the warmth of the alcohol and one another’s presence left you with a warming buzz. Xiaoting was an excellent mixer, and in combination with the chasers Hikaru bought and the drinking games Yujin proposed, you were all ready to go. 

Xiaoting and Yujin led the way, hand in hand as you and Hikaru trailed behind, drunkenly singing into the cold night air as you trek to the nearest bar.

Being a Friday night, the establishment had been as packed as expected, and you all squeezed your way past other visitors as you’re guided to a nearby table. Xiaoting starts off strong, ordering shots for the entire group before utilizing her combined charm alongside her girlfriend’s looks to convince guys to purchase drinks for everyone as well. You couldn’t help but laugh at the way the duo would bat their eyelashes innocently at lone men for drinks– but at least it worked.

Lazily, your eyes wander through the crowd, the alcohol in your system making it a struggle to see straight. Despite your inability to see properly, you still manage to catch a glimpse of your friends from the corner of your eye, and easily spot Yujin attempting to very publicly make out with Xiaoting as Hikaru struggles to pull her away. You stifle a laugh at the sight, and decide to leave the three to their antics whilst you look for someone to talk to.

It's been a while since you last struck up a conversation with a stranger. The last time you had put yourself out there was before you met… 

You shake your head. No. You are not letting your stupid ex ruin your night. Knitting your brows in concentration, you scan the bar. There were plenty of pretty girls to talk to, but you were feeling a little intimidated. Almost all of them came with at least one other person, and you didn’t want to intrude on anything…

 Your eyes landed on a lone blonde at the end of the table, scrolling through her phone with alcohol flushed cheeks. She seemed approachable. Worst case scenario, she simply shoos you off. Taking a deep breath, you approach the blonde, deciding to pull out your best conversation starter.

“Are you chinese? You look chinese!!” You exclaim, suddenly switching to mandarin in the middle of your sentence as you ask the question. Smooth.

The blonde girl looks as if she would’ve been extremely offended at the comment if you didn't just speak to her in her native tongue halfway through your sentence, and she quirks a brow at you, an amused smirk on her lips as she leans against the bar. 

“Yeah, I am! What's a cutie like you doing in a place like this alone??” 

You feel your heart begin to race. So far so good. “I'm not alone!!! My friends are just busy making out with each other and the other is trying to stop them!!” You also lean on the bar, though not as alluring as the blonde before you. More like you partially collapsed and partially slid on it.

She chortles at your response, “well that's not fair to you, leaving you here all alone.”

The sweet and somewhat sultry tone of the blonde makes (non alcohol induced) blush appear on your face as you laugh, “it really isn't! But whatever! My name is y/n by the way!! What's yours??” You scream over the music, sticking your hand out. It was an unexpectedly polite gesture considering your circumstances, and perhaps it may have seemed a bit comical as well with how drunk you were.

She giggles at the response, grabbing your hand then pulling you in, her lips dangerously close to your ear as she yells over the music, “Ning Yizhuo. But call me Ningning! It's cuter!”

You grin. Ningning was a cute nickname. You decided at this very moment you could trust this cute stranger with your life story and personal information she didn’t ask for, and begin to slur out.

“My friends dragged me out here because I was sad over my ex who moved on from me a month after the breakup even though we dated for a year and she's a big jerk for that even though I wish only the best for her but also I hope she dies!!!”

None of the words you spoke just now came out clear, and they seemed to trip over one another when leaving your mouth, but it was enough for the other girl to go from extremely relaxed to suddenly very heated. She stands up straight as her eyebrows knit together.

“To be honest I don’t think she ever really liked me in the first place! I don’t know!! Whatever it doesn’t matter!!!” You continue on, sounding absolutely pathetic as you let yourself feel through the anger you didn’t even know you were repressing, “I was stupid to stay with someone who couldn’t even look me in the eye when saying she loved me!! She was stupid to do the same!! Whatever!! I don’t know!!”

Ningning cuts you off with a raised hand before you can continue, “what the hell?! I hate people like that!!  You're wayyyy too hot to be treated that way! Who is she? What's her name?? I might know her!!”

Against your better drunken judgment, you decide to name drop your ex within a university bar. Because that is always a good idea. “Yu Jimin!! She's a engineering major !!!”

Ningning’s jaw drops as she stares at you, almost as if she were trying to find the correct words for what she has to say next.

“Girl, I know her !!!” She screams out after a brief moment of silence,  “we shared a class together once!! Oh my god I'm so sorry I didn't know she was like that!! You deserve BETTER!” 

Before you could even think of what to say in reaction to that heavy load of information, Ningning grabs your face, pulling you into a kiss. It was a very messy one, her lips almost missing your own during the exchange. Seems like she's not entirely sober either. 

Still, even in your drunken state you knew what to do. Your hands immediately find Ningnings hair as you pull her in closer, and you can feel her smiling as she grazes her tongue over the bottom of your lip. 

You open your mouth to let her in and the only thing that you can think of or even feel for that matter is Ningning and her tongue. She… was really good at this. Jimin never kissed you like this before. Her hands trail down your back to your ass before she squeezes it, smirking when you squirm against her touch.

She breaks the kiss, her face inches away from yours as she breathes out, “you deserve so much better…” Ningning gives you a quick peck on the lips before stepping back, taking in her work with a devilish glint in her eyes. You stare at her dumbfounded for a moment before whipping out your phone, fully talking in your appearance. Your hair and makeup were a wreck. How did all of that happen just now?

“Done by yours truly~” Ningning winks at you, quickly slipping your phone out of your hand and typing something in.

“Wh— Wait what are you doing?”

“Giving you my number, obviously. My girls are gonna wonder where I went.” She hands back your phone and looks at you with soft eyes through her drunken daze. 

“Take care of yourself, yeah?” Ningning kisses you one last time, giving your hand a squeeze before letting go. She disappears into the crowd of partygoers, a sly fox-like grin on her face.

“There you are!” 

You feel an arm land on your shoulder as you jump, twirling around and looking down to see a drunk Hikaru with a slightly less drunk Xiaoting and an absolutely hammered Yujin on her side.

“We should probably head back home!” Xiaoting screams into your ear, “Hikaru’s gonna knock out on the couch and Yujin will be with me!”

Her words barely make it through to you, the music and the alcohol and the adrenaline within your system muffling out every word spoken. Regardless, you still nod and trail behind your friends as you leave, not all too sure what just happened.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You lay in bed, eyes practically burning holes into the new contact in your phone. “宁宁<3” is what it said. 

So last night wasn’t just a dream. You really did just get a girl's number by doing nothing but spilling your secrets to a stranger. On top of all of that, your head was absolutely killing you, you swore you could feel your heartbeat within your brain. Still, that wasn’t important. Biting your lip, your fingers hover over the contact name. Should you message her? 

y/n [10:59]  — hey !! its y/n, the girl from the bar

y/n [10:59]  — thanks for keeping me company last night :)

ningning [11:06]  — i was wondering if u were gonna text me back

ningning [11:06] — and of course <3 jimin doesn’t know what she lost

y/n [11:08] — haha im flattered

y/n [11:08]  — but u barely know me??

ningning [11:11]  — that can change xx

Your eyes widen as you reread the text over and over again. Is she implying what you think she's implying? What if she's just being friendly? Can you even platonically make out with someone at the bar?

y/n [11:16] — are u asking me out on a date ning yizhuo ?

You wait. 

Oh god. What if she was just being friendly?

ningning [11:18]  — only if youll have me 

You feel yourself blush at her message, burying your face into your pillow as you squeal like a high school teenager in love. It was embarrassing in hindsight, but.. it felt nice to be wanted. 

y/n [11:19] —  of course

ningning [11:19] — perfect <3 

ningning [11:20] — dinner at my place tonight then? 

ningning [11:20] — If youre not too hungover.. 

ningning [11:20] — i got the best hangover cures ;)

you can't help but arch your eyebrow at the winky face she added at the end but brushed it off, more focused on the fact that your drunk hatred towards your ex landed you a date. 

You scramble to your feet and (metaphorically) kick down Xiaoting’s door, abruptly waking the girl from her nap as she screams out, “WO CAO!” She places a hand over her heart as she bolts up within her bed, immediately letting out a sigh of relief when she realizes it was just you. 

“Girl what the HELL is wrong with you?!” She hisses, laying back down and throwing the blanket over her head.

You, being the ever loving and best roommate ever, respond to this by jumping into bed with (on top of) the redhead and squeezing her as tight as you can while screaming “I HAVE A DATE!!!”

Xiaoting shoots back up, your arms still latched onto her torso as she looks down at you, eyes wide. “Wait, are you serious?”

You hear a low groan and a hand slapping your arm as you roll your eyes, slapping the arm back as the voice of Yujin grumbles out and shuffles deeper within the sheets.

Both you and Xiaoting look at one another and giggle before she quietly slips out of bed, quickly placing a kiss on Yujins head before grabbing your arm and leading you out of her room. Once outside, she firmly grasps your shoulders. 

“Okay, now tell me everything.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You nervously stand outside of Ningnings apartment, bag clutched in hand as you look back behind you. Xiaoting sat within her car on the side of the road, keeping an eye on you to make sure this girl wasn’t going to kidnap you or the other.

The two of you (and soon enough Yujin and Hikaru) had spent the day giving you pointers on how to go about the date. They had thrown an ungodly amount of clothes your way as well as telling you endless conversation starters and compliments to give another person. By the end of it all your head was overflowing with information that you were going to forget as soon as you head out the door, and all of your closet was sprawled on your bedroom floor and in the living room. Still, the girls seemed quite proud of their work.

All of you had consecutively agreed on an outfit that was nice, but not too nice. You wore a plaid skirt paired with a simple tank top and an off the shoulder cardigan.

Holding your breath, you ring the doorbell. You really hoped this wasn’t a mistake. When was the last time you were actually on a date with someone? You couldn't remember. After a few moments of silence, you hear shuffling followed by the door unlocking and Ningning poking her head out shyly. Her eyes light up at the sight of you before opening the door completely, revealing her outfit.

She wore an oversized plaid button up, unintentionally matching with your skirt alongside baggy jeans and some bunny slippers you thought were incredibly cute. Her hair was tied up in a messy but charming bun, held up by a hair stick with small gemstones dangling from the end.

This Ningning was completely different from the one you had met at the bar last night. Though, you suppose you were a different person now as well.

“You're here! Come in come in!” She grabs your hand and guides you inside. Flustered, you spare a quick glance behind you, and you can spot the silhouette of Xiaoting throwing a thumbs up from her car before Ningning closes the door behind you.

“You look gorgeous today, by the way,” Ningning compliments, her thumb rubbing over your fingers as she walks you through her apartment. The gesture makes your cheeks warm, and you find yourself easing into her touch like putty. It was a touch that was loving. Kind. Intentional. 

Her home was cozy, with white walls paired alongside warm lighting and paintings and other wall art lining the interior. There was an appetizing aroma that wafted through the air, and you had remembered that Ningning had offered to cook for you.

“What have you prepared for us tonight, chef Ningning?” You ask, squeezing her hand as she grins, “Well it's not much, I'm not a really good cook but I decided to make us some dumplings! A little basic, but it's the only dish I feel like I’ve actually perfected.”

“I hope this is the hangover cure you mentioned” you comment lightheartedly, and you sense a playful energy in the way she looks back at you.

“You'll find out soon enough.”

You once again find yourself quirking a brow at her vague answers, but she simply smiles at you innocently and you find yourself smiling back. It was hard to not be amused by her.

Ningning guides you to the kitchen, which was cleaned perfectly for your arrival. On the center of the table were multiple bamboo steamer baskets, as well as a large tea pot and a simple glass bottle with various native wildflowers as a centerpiece. 

The other girl pulls out a chair for you, and you teasing grin at the polite gesture, “how romantic, Ninging~”

She rolls her eyes and giggles before settling down herself, instantaneously pouring you a cup of tea as she gestures at the baskets, “go on, dig in. I’ll be personally offended if you don’t.”

Chuckling, you open up the baskets, releasing clouds of steam before revealing multiple handmade dumplings with various fillings and differing folding styles. Your eyes widen, and you simply comment, “wow,” before taking the first bite of the food.

To say that it tasted amazing was an understatement– you practically felt like you were thrown back to the motherland with a single bite, and it wasn’t long before you were filling your plate with more.

The two of you had spent the rest of the evening getting to know one another more. You had learned she was a computer science major and going onto her third year of uni, as well as the fact she was from Harbing whilst you shared that you were from Shanghai. 

“Big city girl, huh?” Ningning amusedly comments, sipping on her tea as you roll your eyes, “yeah… But I'm not rich or anything before you ask.”

The blonde feigns rejection as she snaps her fingers, “damn. I was gonna ask you to buy drinks next time we head to the bars, I think you owe me. ” She smiles at you, and it's warm.

You liked this. You liked how easy it was to talk to her. It was never this easy before.

Soon enough you had ended up on Ningning’s couch, browsing through movies aimlessly as the hefty meal threatened to send you into a food coma. The blonde lay comfortably in your arms underneath a blanket, her eyes occasionally fluttering shut as you continued to search for something to watch.

“Hmm, what about… Velocipastor?” The name completely throws you off guard, prompting you to click on it, skimming over the description as you feel the vibration of Ninging lazily humming beneath you. 

“Oh that movie is really good, trust me.”

“... Really? Are you sure, Ning?”

“Yeah yeah…” Her eyes were already shut as she spoke, nuzzling in closer to you as you chuckle, putting on the movie as you wrap your arms around her, pulling her in closer. 

Honestly, the movie seemed to be an excuse for the girl to be physically close to you– maybe get a nap in? You weren’t even sure if she was watching the movie at this point. Still, maybe it was for the best. Velocipastor was definitely not well funded within its production, that much could be seen. Plus, you couldn't complain about having a cute girl in your arms.

“Does your head still hurt?”

Ningning’s soft voice rings out, startling you. Honestly, you were getting pretty invested in the film, you had thought she already fell asleep.

“Mmm, a little. I don’t think your hangover cure worked.”

“Oh, the dumplings weren’t the cure.”

Your head cocks to the side as you tear your gaze away from the tv screen, looking down at the girl nestled on your chest as she looks back up at you. There was that all too familiar glint in her eyes again.

“Then what is?”

A mischievous grin curls on her lips before she leans in, connecting her lips with yours. Still a bit sluggish from the night before alongside a hefty meal, her kissing was a bit sloppy, but it was soft. Much softer than before.

You feel yourself almost immediately sigh into the kiss, and you would have found it embarrassing if she didnt guide her hand up your chest, to your neck, and into your hair, soon deepening the kiss. 

Not expecting things to escalate so soon, you couldn’t help but let out a soft whimper as your hands landed on her hips, nails digging into her sides desperately as she laughs against your lips, pulling back. 

“You’re really cute, y’know?” She purrs, using her hand to brush a strand of hair out of your face, and you can see the hint of pink spread across her lips as she smiles, drinking in the sight of you.

Before you even have a chance to respond, Ningning tackles your jawline, trailing kisses down your face and onto your neck. You try to respond, but when she starts to nip the side of your neck, the words you wanted to say somehow managed to melt into complete mush.

“Mmhmmhgh…” 

The sound that escapes your lips allows you the chance to actually feel embarrassed, and you slam a hand over your lips, looking away from Ninging. Your response elicits another laugh from the blonde, and you swear you could listen to the sound forever. 

Her symphony soon quiets though, and Ningning looks you straight in the eye, her gaze softening as she opens her mouth, struggling to find the right words to say.

“Look, I know we just met…” she trails off for a moment, almost a bit shy to continue, “but if you want to give me a chance and see where this goes, I promise I’ll treat you so well.” 

Her eyes are filled with genuine desire for you, and you couldn’t help but feel… Isolated? Targetted? For the first time you feel like you’re seen, and you don’t know what to do about it.

She presses on, “I’d really like to see you again, and I know you’re going through a lot right now but I want to be there with you every step of the way. I want to see where this takes us.”

“I want you, y/n.”

Your face heats up instantaneously, and you swear your eyes were threatening to bulge out of your skull right then and there. You look at her in silence as you struggle to find your words, and after a few seconds you finally croak out,

“I… I want to see where this takes us too, Ningning.”

Her eyes brighten at your response, and she beams, pulling you into a tight hug on the couch before interlocking her lips with yours once again. You giggle into the kiss, and throw the blanket over the two of you as the movie on the tv buzzed on. For the first time, you found someone warm enough for you.

[tonydaddingham]

it was about the coffee

edit 24/11: rip miracle blocker theory, my love

but possibly not the way we thought it was. this is going to sound so convoluted but bear with me here (and big thanks to the anon that precipitated this theory, and major apologies that writing this theory is only going to delay my answer to your ask even further💕)

a major plot-point for me in s2 was this bad boy:

which i think we can safely say is a very op power for demons to possess for it not to come up again later on in the show? it's almost like a parallel to the book of life on that front - which is mentioned in the bookshop in ep6, but we've all agreed is pretty much going to be a major chekhov's gun in s3, right? well, what about the miracle blocker?

why wouldn't shax think of getting one either from furfur or from beelzebub when storming the bookshop? well, could be that shax didn't think of it. true - but i do wonder if something iffy was in fact going on in ep5/ep6 showdown, right up into the Final Fifteen.

let's start here: aziraphale has got some reality-bending bullshit going on, which i think is possibly just naturally emanating from aziraphale himself (im not wholly convinced it's entirely in-character for him to purposefully fuck with people's heads and autonomy) and perhaps the dancing/outfits/emotions etc is just the image he wanted for the dance, and his magic (?) essentially made it happen, so much so that he was potentially taken in by it too... hence why he was so readily resistant to crowley's pleas to listen to him about the danger? idk, getting sidetracked.

but anyway, then the demons come, and we see the below where... randomly, aziraphale's miracles/magic doesn't work. and there's no given reason for it:

soon after this, aziraphale opens the portal; one thing on reflection? that portal opens damn fucking fast. sure, the peril is high, certainly higher than s1 when he had to pray and practically beg to speak to someone... but if the portal is more or less for metatron's direct use, and the metatron is so damn busy, being the voice of god... why would he be sat there waiting for a call?

s1, the time between aziraphale starting to pray/dial 9-1-heaven, and the portal opening (excluding where he shouts to shadwell that the shop is closed) is just over 31 seconds. s2, from "hello, is there anybody there" to portal opening is just over 5. a very short cut-down for a retired, traitorous angel, regardless of whether they're under attack (which, tbh, would be in heaven's interests, right? for aziraphale to get Got?). the explanation for that can only be, in my book, that metatron has been watching... and possibly has been since the first time the portal opened.

anyway, we then move on to metatron arriving at the bookshop, and offering aziraphale the coffee. others have reported a miracle chime, and tbh i too can hear at least a faint, high strong, that sounds out of place in the ambient sound of the scene. video below, where ive marked out where i can hear it:

we know that aziraphale doesn't drink coffee. tea, hot chocolate, wine... but he's never, as far as we've seen, canonically drunk coffee. he must have tried it at some point, crowley likes it/drinks it, so why wouldn't aziraphale have tried it at some point? well, i think he probably has, and didn't like it. i think he tried to change it, in front of the metatron, so he could take a sip and not be offensive. but... it doesn't work. aziraphale's reaction is awkward. and metatron's reaction is smug. i think metatron has a miracle blocker.

aziraphale is not stupid. i think he knows possibly from that moment, or very soon after, that metatron has been up to something. i think he knows that metatron might have eyes and ears everywhere. i think aziraphale has worked out that metatron is not in fact A Nice Old Man, and knows it right through until he gets in the lift (which im going to talk about more in the aforementioned anon ask). i don't think aziraphale has been overtly threatened, because the metatron has worked so hard in this scene to be non-threatening. but he has underestimated how smart aziraphale actually is.

making the offer to reform heaven appeals to aziraphale, there is no doubt on that. and aziraphale is desperate for crowley to be with him - not only on the layer of wanting to be together, or another layer of crowley deserving to have heaven make amends to him, or even the layer wanting to protect crowley under his status as supreme archangel... but because if aziraphale walks away, without crowley, crowley has nowhere safe to go. the bookshop has been compromised, and it is no longer safe. metatron with his almond syrup has Eyes and Ears everywhere. when crowley refuses, aziraphale has to get to heaven, and to metatron, before they get to him.

i do completely believe that aziraphale wants to help heaven, and possibly seek any way in which he can return it to what he thinks or believes was god's original purpose for it - to return or make it into the place that was always meant to stand for good and justice and love. but i also believe that now, more than ever, aziraphale teeters on the edge of giving heaven a chance - or being burnt to ashes, literally or figuratively. idk about you, but i have a gut feeling on what option he, in this moment, would be inclined to take.

[dizscreams]

Drunk n Love — Ethan Landry ★

PAIRING: Ethan x gn!reader

SUMMARY: Ethans drunk and he says some cute and lovey stuff

WARNINGS: none :)

You were walking around this stupid frat party wondering where your boyfriend went. You saw Mindy and Anika on the couch so you went to them first. “Hey guys, have you seen Ethan? I can’t find him anywhere,” you ask worriedly.

“Uhh I think he’s in the kitchen with Chad,” Mindy tells you and with a nod of your head you go to look for him. Pushing past all these sweaty people you wonder why you’re even here. Chad had convinced Ethan to go and Ethan didn’t want to go without you, he had practically begged you. You loved him but he was such a piece of work when he wanted to be.

You go to the kitchen and the first thing you see is Chad and Ethan chugging whatever’s in their red solo cups. “Heyyy Y/N!” Chad shouts as he slams his cup on the counter, clearly drunk. ‘Oh god’ you thought. You look over at Ethan who can barely stand on his own. “Chad, what have you made him drink?”

“Hey I didn’t do anyyythin’ he has a mind of his own and a very smart one too! What I do- or wait what HE does is not my fault,” he says defensively with his hands raised.

“Uh huh- right.” You go over to Ethan and put your arm around him. Fuck he was heavy. “Hiii y/n you look so pre-pretty,” he says with a hiccup. You mutter a ‘thank you eth’ and then look over at Chad, “I’m taking him home. You stay here and I’ll get your sister,” you say pointing to Chad with a stern look.

“Yeah yeah whatever mom,” he slurs and pours himself another drink.

“C’mon Eth, let’s get you home.”

“Yes ma’am.” You roll your eyes and make your way back over to where Mindy was. “Mindy! Your brother’s in the kitchen absolutely wasted I think it’s time to take everyone home.”

“Aw shit alright. Thanks, y/n.” You nod and try to get Ethan to move with you but he was too busy staring at his hands. “Ethan what the hell are you doing?”

“Look- look at my hands why are they so big? They’re like very large.” You try not to laugh and grab one of his hands. “Yeah they’re so strong now cmon let’s go home, Eth.”

“I don’t want to.”

“You have to.”

“Nuh-uh you can’t make me,” he says sticking his tongue out.

“Ethan I swear to god if you don’t move right now I will kick your ass.”

“Ooo i like you mad you look hot,” he says with a goofy smile and a giggle as he sways. “Ethan! Come on!” You’re now dragging him out of the door and he mutters an ‘okay okay’.

-

You end up finally making it to his dorm after a long walk that should’ve only been five minutes. You walk him to his room and place him on the bed. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt and jeans that probably weren’t going to be comfortable to sleep in.

“Ethan, do you have any pajamas or something more comfortable?” You ask pushing some curls out of his face.

“Mhmmm they’re in the sec- second drawer, baby.” The poor boy could barely hold his head up. You nod at him before going to the drawer and pulling out plaid blue pajama pants and grabbing a random gray t-shirt.

You sit the clothes in his lap, “Here go get dressed in the bathroom.”

“I don’t wanna get upppp,” he whines.

“Ethan I don’t wanna watch you change-“

“You’ve never had a problem beforeee,” he giggles.

“That’s when you’re sober dumbass,” You playfully push his shoulder and he falls back on the bed dramatically with a ‘so rude!’

“Fine, I’ll just turn around.” And you do so as he changes. You could hear him struggle trying to get his shirt off and wanted to laugh at him. He didn’t get drunk often, but it was slightly amusing to you when he did.

“Okay Okay im good now,” he tells you.

“Alright, let’s get you in bed,” you say and he crawls under the covers. You put a light blanket over him and kiss his head as you go to turn off the light.

“Wait-” he stops you as he gently grabs your wrist. “Are you not gonna sleep with me?” he asks with a pout.

“Ethan, I have to go.”

“Nooo! No you don’t. Can you just- just stay with me until I sleep? Please?” He says with his big brown eyes looking up at you.

“Okay, but only till you fall asleep.”

“Yayyy!!” You shush him for being too loud before you’re under the covers with him. He turns so his back isn’t facing you anymore and instead he wraps his arms around you while his chin is on top of your head.

“Hey Y/n?”

“Yeah Ethan?”

“You know I love you right. I love you a lot and thank you for takin ca- caare of me. You’re a good partner.”

“I love you too and you’re welc-“

He cuts you off, “I’m gonna marry you some day, did you know? We’re gonna have a weddin a faancy one too,” he smiles to himself.

You’re stunned for a moment before the biggest smile is across your face. You’re about to respond but you see he already closed his eyes and was ready to sleep. You lay there with him not wanting to get up and decided you were going to stay there all night.

Even though he probably wouldn’t remember this tomorrow, you would, and you’d treasure the memory.

That boy has your whole heart.

this sucksss but I love him so much :( AND IM SORRY GUYS ILL WORK ON REQUESTS TMR!!

[manicpixiefelix]

head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 8.

Summary: The fallout of arguing with Oliver, not fighting with Farleigh, Felix hooks up with your not-girlfriend, and so you provide comfort to his sort-of-ex.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: someone makes a move on the reader while they're very very drunk and the reader is far more sober, but it doesn't go past kissing, if that's something you're possibly concerned about.

A/N: 5424 words. welcome back. this one goes many different places in the span of one night. the farleigh of it all. the annabel of it all. im worried this one might feel OOC so id really like to hear if there's anywhere i could improve on my characterisation, what worked, what didn't?? as always unedited, and as we're nearing the end of the term (in the fic) we only have a few chapters left at oxford before we get to go to saltburn!! LOVE YOU ENJOY!!

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

"Didn't have to do that," Felix sighed from his desk, head bent low over his textbook. It's the first thing he'd said since Oliver left. You, still on his bed, picking through a textbook for a class you both share, found half-shoved under his bed, look up.

"Do what?"

"That thing with Michael What's-His-Name's file," it almost sounds like guilt in his voice, but he still isn't listening to you, "you could get in real trouble for having that."

In swift movements he stands, and you catch the sight of his scowl despite how he doesn't turn it upon you. Once again he's sitting on the floor, back to the foot of the bed, lighting up another cigarette, legs crossed in front of him.

"I'll put it back tomorrow." You're not used to Felix disapproving of you, it's a kind of discomfort you want to shake as quickly as you're able to. After a moment you add, "I know it's not really Ollie's fault, I shouldn't have -"

"I don't want to talk about Ollie right now." He's focused on balancing his ash tray on his knee, watching it with such intensity it's as if he's trying to define life's secrets from it.

"Should I go?" Murmured, almost like you're afraid of anyone hearing it, even Felix. It hangs, golden in the hazy heat of the afternoon.

"'m not the boss of you," Felix mumbles softly, head low, again his words coloured almost with guilt. You know he will never shake the quiet shame he sometimes is hit with when he remembers the way people often perceive the relationship you two share; too close, too loyal, too imbalanced.

But you've never cared; you will never treat him differently, never want for anything but his happiness, never beat the canine allegations. One day you hope you'll convince him that's okay.

So instead of leaving, you close the textbook and stretch yourself out across his bed, laying the on your belly with your head resting at the foot, by his. Your hand rests on his head, running your fingers through his hair.

Felix breathes out a lung full of smoke. He doesn't look at you. He leans into your touch and closes his eyes. The moment is a quiet one, tension thick and choking and full of things neither of you can talk about.

It's the strangest afternoon you share in a long while, one full of silence and the slow, mind numbing sound of pages being turned and the scratch of pen against paper.

"I'm gonna get ready to go out tonight," you say softly, finally breaking the silence when the courtyard outside is every shade of gold and orange in the sunset. Felix just hums in acknowledgement from his desk, "Fi?"

"Yeah," he huffs, dismissively, still looking at his notes. You've got the file in one hand, doing up the buttons of the shirt you'd forgone in the afternoon heat of his dorm room, but had to wear back to your own.

"You want me to text Oli?" You watch him grow tense at the name alone.

"Yeah, maybe, I don't know," he mumbles, almost forcibly nonchalant, despite the hard line of his shoulders that hadn't been there moments ago. Then, as if to clear the moment, he sits up straighter, turning to you in his desk chair with a look of determination in his eyes, "India still into me do you think?"

"I know India's still into you," you can't help but snort, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Would you be totally cut up if I -" he doesn't even need to finish before you're rolling your eyes.

"She'd be thrilled," but your smile softens a little, even as you shake your head with exasperation, "she's all yours, Fi."

Perhaps it's the fondness with which you acquiesces to his arguably selfish request that makes him take in the full exchange that had just passed. Felix takes a moment, tension and expression dropping as he turns pensive for a moment, unable to look you in the eyes. After a beat, you turn to the door, fully intending on letting the moment pass, but you hear Felix stand.

He doesn't say anything as he approaches you, still wearing that rather grim, thoughtful expression, but he wraps you up in a hug. He holds you as close as he's able, and after a beat of surprise, you gently drop the file to wrap your arms around him in return.

I love you. I'm sorry. All the tension from the afternoon drains away in this hug, in him pressed against you, leaning into you, breathing deep and even and steady. Pressing your face against his shoulder, you give him a brief kiss against his warm, golden skin, and hope he can feel your smile too.

The hug breaks, but still he holds your face for a long moment. He's smiling again. I love you. Thank you. He kisses your cheek quickly.

"I'll catch you at the King's Arms, yeah?"

"'course, Fi," you assure him with a warm smile of your own.

Back in your own dorm, that single moment of warmth unfortunately can't overwrite the entire afternoon of sickly tension. Looking at Oliver's name in your contacts, you frown. You should text him, invite him, Felix told him he would -

"Yeah, maybe, I don't know."

You don't text Oliver.

Annabel also isn't at the King's Arms that night. Of course you know why, the answer sits across from you with his arm around your not-girlfriend, but part of you still kind of feels bad for if the sweet redhead ever finds out.

"What are you sulking about?" Farleigh's smug voice in your ear, Farleigh's arm around your shoulder, Farleigh's cigarettes you keep stealing, Farleigh who you've tucked yourself up against for the night.

"'m not," you try insisting, frowning at the lighter that's clearly out of fluid and refusing to relight your cigarette. He gives your shoulder a squeeze.

"You sure, Peter Pan? Where's your shadow?"

"You don't give a shit about Oliver," you snap a little too quickly, both frustrated by the situation you're trying to ignore, and the useless lighter, but Farleigh reads right through it and practically cackles. Still, he wraps his other arm around you and squeezes you against his side with glee, even as you try to protest.

"Ooh~" Farleigh teases, poking your side with a wide, fond smile, "trouble in pauper's paradise?"

"That's fucking mean," you rib him none too gently, but he actually snorts with laughter. The lighter still won't bloody well start.

"I feel like you're fucking edging me with that lighter, fuck," Benji, from Farleigh's other side, smacks your lighter out of your hands and holds out his perfectly working one.

"Thank you, Benny, that was pissing me off," Farleigh says with a satisfied smile, his laughter having died down. You, finally take a draught on your cigarette, grateful for the warmth, and the nicotine as it hits.

"Could kiss you, Benj," you finally let yourself smile, "someone remind me to get a new lighter," you add, leaning across Farleigh without hesitation to plant a kiss squarely on Benji's lips after he'd wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, teasingly at you at your comment.

"We'd fascinate psychologists," Farleigh chuckled, but his voice is warm and fond, and Benji turns back to his conversation with Alicia and Jake on his other side once the moment had passed.

"Probably," comes out distracted, however as your teasing mood drops and you look to your phone. Should I have called Oliver? But when you look up, across the table, you see warmth and fondness in the way Felix looks at India, enraptured by whatever story she's telling. With one arm around her shoulders, he lets her distractedly play with his other hand, leaning into her, all attention on her. Making her feel like the centre of the universe, the way only Felix knows how to do. India glows in a way you've never seen before, lighting up under his direct affection, beautiful and elated, maybe even a little bit flustered.

There's not even a hint of jealousy at the sight of them. All you know is how much you love your friends, and how happy and beautiful they look together in this moment. There is contentment, satisfaction, like a job well done... Farleigh might have a point about the psychologists.

Speaking of - Farleigh grabs your chin and tilts your face to look at him. Immediately you smack his hand away.

"Stop that! What is that? What are you doing?" You squawk at him immediately. Again, he grabs your chin, frowning, intent upon gazing intensely into your eyes. This time you let him.

"I'm figuring out what this is," he mutters like he's deep in thought. You let your gaze roam for a moment, hoping he gets whatever this is out of his system. You wiggle your chin in his grip, and it's enough to prompt more of an explanation, "if you're not sulking, then I don't know this -" rolling your eyes, you smack his hand away.

"Fuck man, I'm not sulking," you insist, remembering your cigarette and taking another puff, glad it hadn't gone out.

"You've been weird lately; angry - ranting," Farleigh made sure to stick to your cover story despite having seen through it the minute you'd tried out the other week, "you and Felix have had some weird vibes," he takes the cigarette from you, and you settle yourself against him further.

"Fi and I always have weird vibes," you pointed out with a little smirk, keeping your voice as low as he was, glad he didn't feel the need to publicise this discussion too broadly. Farleigh snorted, but shook his head.

"You, sure," Farleigh conceded, handing back the cigarette, "but," he leans in, leans into your with a knowing, dangerously sharp smile, his hand coming to rest on your thigh, "Felix has been weird about you," his voice slides along the word weird as his hand slides up your thigh, as if to prove a point, before sitting back. Giving you a moment to recover, Farleigh sits back up like nothing happened, letting go of your thigh and taking a drink. He gives you a squeeze, arm still around your shoulders, "or hadn't you noticed?" Back at regular conversation levels like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Across the circle of your friend group, Felix's gaze momentarily flicks to you as India's in the middle of some kind of enthusiastically rambling. Gaze briefly passing to Farleigh, he then looks back and raises an amused eyebrow in silent question. The smile you give him is instinctive and warm, a silent answer. He mirrors the smile for the briefest moment before his attention returns to India.

Of course you'd noticed the change.

"Of course I've noticed." Your gaze dips; you become fascinated with your drink for the moment, trying to brace yourself for whatever comment you knew Farleigh had coming.

"Surprised he hadn't put you on a leash."

You elbow him hard in the ribs. He retaliates by flicking you repeatedly in the forehead. Its a blurry mess of frustration and elbows after that, pulling hair and wet fingers in ears and trying to sink nails into each other's soft sides, all squabbling and cursing and insults not made for polite society.

"- you put your fingers near my mouth I'll bite them off!" You holler even when he's got his arm around your neck in a kind of choke hold, which is around the time the two of you are pulled away from each other.

The rest of the table is staring at you both, while you and Farleigh straighten yourselves up, a little flustered at the many incredulous stares you were getting.

"The fuck was that about?" Felix, of course, is the one to voice the question the others all had. You look to Farleigh, his expression mirroring yours; no malice, no frustration, like nothing had happened.

"Bit of horseplay," you shrugged easily, meeting Felix's eyes, tone bright and chipper. He looked unconvinced.

"Just two dudes being guys," Farleigh's tone was light and breezy as he settled back into the booth, and you alongside him, letting him once more sling an arm around your shoulders.

"Guys bein' pals," you agreed with a nod. Farleigh pats your head for emphasis. The group thankfully decides that they've had enough of the weird moment to go back to their own conversations. Felix was the last to focus back on the conversation he'd been having with India and Alicia, narrowing his eyes as he looked between you and Farleigh.

Before turning his attention entirely away, his gaze fixes on you. There, in the very slight tilt of his head, the look in his eyes, the way his jaw tightens, you see his concern for you. You lean your head back on Farleigh's shoulder and let yourself relax, let yourself give him a genuine, reassuring smile. It's enough.

Farleigh clears his throat.

"It was either that or tell him you said that," you explained under your breath, to which Farleigh nodded in understanding, hand running up and down your shoulder idly as he reached across the table for the communal fries, bringing the basket closer to you both.

"And you don't want to tell him because you know I'm right," Farleigh is back to smug, but at least this time you can join him in his amusement.

"No, but I'm humouring you because I'd like to talk about how good I'd look in a collar," picking up a chip, you eat it with a grin as Farleigh rolls his eyes. After a moment, however, he comes back with this contemplative look, still amused, but eyes narrowed and searching like they had been earlier. You eat another chip and tell him to put his eyeballs back in his head, "seriously, quit looking at me like that, Farleigh -"

"He has been weird-weird," Farleigh says like he's agreeing, though you tell him you have no idea what the fuck he means. Taking a deep breath like he was ramping up to something, Farleigh looks across the group to Felix, before looking back at you with a kind of put-upon smile, "I say this only as someone who's know you for like, more of my life than I'd like to admit -"

"I love you too, go on."

"- so I kind of think that it might not look that different to anyone else, like they don't know it's not your usual brand of weirdness," he wets his lips, giving you a look like he's not even sure if he's meant to be saying this, like he might be letting you in on a secret you're not supposed to know, "he's been really hot and cold with you."

Of course you'd noticed.

"I slept with Oliver."

Beside you, Farleigh appears to go through all five stages of grief at once.

"You make it very hard to be friends with you sometimes," he says, shaking his head. You, however, are focusing on how many chips you can eat in a rush rather than think too much about the topic at hand.

"That mean," you tell him flatly, mouth full of potatoes, "you're being mean again."

"You chose to sleep with Oliver, that is a choice you made; I'm gonna be mean about it, you've earned it, you know you have -"

"Remember," you gave him a shit-eating grin, "how the next time we went drinking after that costume party, you spent a full half hour in the beer garden ranting about how stupid you thought Ollie's costume was," you ate another chip while Farleigh narrowed his eyes at you with barely concealed contempt, but you powered on, "and it turned out that you thought the costume didn't do him justice, which then -" your grin grew wider, "became you ranting about how his eyes are too blue, and why does he dress like that when we can all see his arms, imagine if he wore a shirt that fit!" You gleefully recounted, even as Farleigh's mouth flattened into a thin line, like he's bitten on a lemon, but he couldn't look you in the eyes.

"Hey, that's not what I -"

"And then -!" You spoke over him, "you forgot where you were and tried to take an angry nap in the bushes."

"I don't -" a flustered Farleigh squirms for a moment in his seat, unable to look at you, "remember that, and," he turned a faux serious look upon you, "if you tell anyone I said that, I'll tell them you're lying."

"I'm just saying," you shrugged, "don't act like you don't know part of the reason why I slept with him."

"Fine," Farleigh rolled his eyes, allowing his flustered frustration to ease. After a moment of contemplation, of watching Felix, he hums quietly, thoughtfully, "that can't be it, right?"

"What can't be it?"

"If Felix was going to start being jealous it wouldn't be over Oliver."

"See, that's what I thought."

"So he is jealous?"

"I don't know," you say quietly, still not quite sure how to feel about it; Felix had taken the news fine when you'd told him, he hadn't seemed any different, but of course there'd been a change. Why now?

"That's really stupid of him," Farleigh finally says, dismissively.

"It is, isn't it?" As you try and laugh, your heart's not in it. You look at your phone again, another wave of that strange discomfort that you'd been feeling lately washing over you again. You can't stay.

Everyone's surprised by your early departure as you say your goodbyes. You cite the need to study hard tomorrow, giving hugs and kisses as you start the short journey back to your dorm. Felix murmurs that he loves you and a cheeky thanks in your ear and you know he's talking about India. You kiss his cheek, and then you head off.

Nothing had seemed off when you'd told Felix.

"You look like you're about to burst into song; what happened to you?"

"Something happened!"

"Am I meant to guess?"

"No, no- I mean, like how nothing happened between me and Ollie a few months ago; something happened!"

"Something happened between you and Ollie?"

"The something that didn't happen last time -"

"I don't remember last time, Y/N, you're being so cryptic, I love that you're excited but -"

"Yes, Ollie and I slept together. Finally!"

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"No, good 'oh', promise!"

"Didn't sound like a good 'oh', Fi; is everything alright?"

"Yeah, of course, sorry Y/N, I promise, I'm just... I don't remember you being this excited about a hook up... and I don't think I was excepting it to be Ollie, you know? Was he really that good?"

"Let me put it this way, it was the kind of good that none of our other friends would believe if I told them."

"Fancy that, Ollie knows what he's doing; good for you."

"Great for me."

It wasn't particularly vulgar or explicit, you'd had far more in depth conversations about your various hook ups, Felix had seemed as happy for you as he always did with these kinds of stories. But he'd started looking at Oliver different, you'd noticed it. That too is when he became the clingiest. Farleigh was right; on nights out with Oliver around, Felix threw out any pretence of subtlety or person space. Felix acted like your boyfriend.

But then, any other night, any other group situation, it was like any other day. Sometimes he'd barely even glance at you. Hot and cold.

You're so in your head on the walk home that you barely register someone sitting at your door until you all but trip over them.

Annabel.

She'd been crying.

"Fuck you." Is how she greets you.

"What are you doing here?" A twinge of pity, a twinge of guilt, to see her obviously distraught at your doorstep. She gets unsteadily to her feet, swearing at you again. Reaching out to steady her, she surprises you by lunging at you, grabbing you.

"You were there, weren't you? With the rest of them," Annabel's gripping your collar, makeup smeared with tears and eyes red-rimmed, "with him," lips still inches from yours, her gaze unfocused but searching, "I can fucking smell it on you- you- you and rich boy-" but she stops for a moment, expression falling to confusion, "Farleigh?"

"Annabel -" you ease her hands off of your collar, partly confused, but mostly pitying.

"Why do you smell like Farleigh?" She sounds almost like a lost child, refusing to let go of your hand as you pulled out your keys. God she looks so helpless, tears still welling in her eyes, vodka bottle mostly empty by her feet.

"Why are you so good at telling what Farleigh smells like?" You countered with, swinging the door open. At this, some of the righteous indignation fires up in her again, flouncing into your room.

"You all went to the same boarding school, you've all got these same habits, and same but different scents you cling to," she's scowling at your dresser as you picked up the vodka bottle and brought it into your room, shutting your door. You watch her for a long moment, see how she analyses everything you have there, perfumes, colognes, makeup, skin care, little bits of paper rubbish - she picks up a bottle and flicks off the lid, not caring where it landed amongst the rest of the things there. When she sprays it, she seems to almost relax amongst it's mist. Of course. It's Felix's favourite, Felix's scent as she'd so aptly described it, for when he'd spend the night.

"Of course you have his too," she says faintly, almost derisively.

Allowing your attention to finally drift from her, you start getting ready for bed, heading to your closet to hang up your jacket.

"You all need to mark your territory," she spits, out of your peripheries, you see her move away from your dresser and pick up her vodka again, "need everyone to know who you own, who we all belong to -"

"Anna, that's not -" you sighed, unsure of where any of this was going, but not liking it either way. As you search your drawers for pyjamas, you felt her gentle hands on your hips. Jumping at the sudden touch, when you spin she braces herself against the drawers with hands either side of you, while your hands become trapped, the last bit of resistance between her chest and yours.

"I smelled like you both for weeks," she murmurs, gaze roaming your body, almost hungry, landing back on your lips, "you remember that? I should- I should- should have been fucking sickened," she admits, voice a low whisper, the hunger turning needy, turning into almost a whimper, "the things I want you both to do to me make me sick to my stomach," her lips inch closer to yours, shared breath, heat in the air, "of course I know what the fuck you all choose to smell like, I can't get it out of my fucking head," you should lean away but there's something intoxicating about her rage, her desperation, her desire, "Our Annabel, that's what he'd called me, what you'd -" and she kisses you, vodka still wicked and bitter on her tongue, all but panting into your mouth as her hands find your hips again.

But it can't continue, you can't let this go on. As you lean back to free your arms, to hold her back, she takes advantage of the opportunity to slide her hands beneath your shirt, cold and nimble against your belly -

"Could've been my Felix -" she mumbles, as if in a trance, eyes hazy and full of both tears, like she was looking into a memory. The minute her fingers find your fly you grab her hands firmly. It takes you a moment to regain your composure, to remind yourself that she wasn't in her right state of mind, that she probably didn't even know what she was doing or saying -

My Felix flares bright and hot and possessive in your mind. My Felix.

"Ow," Annabel's noise of pain brings you back to reality, but thankfully it seems the shock to her system brought her back too. Looking down at your vice-like grip on her wrists, she looks back at you as you let her go, embarrassment in her eyes as she perhaps realises some of what she'd been doing.

"I'm not sleeping with you tonight, Anna," still, your voice is gentle. She huffs an embarrassed little laugh, starting to sniffle again. Again, you remind yourself that this poor girl just got her heart broken by your best friend, and decided to deal with that by drinking an entire bottle of vodka. You'd committed to showing her some compassion tonight.

"I know." The tension drops, and she just leans her head forward to rest her forehead on your shoulder. You can't help but hug her, feeling the heavy way she sighs as you're giving her a reassuring pat on the back. The two of you stay like that for a very long few minutes until you hear her start crying again.

"Do you wanna borrow some pyjamas?" You ask softly, and feel her nod.

The rest of the night is quiet after that, taking care of this distraught young woman who got her heart broken by your best friend. It reminds you of nights you'd spend with Venetia back at Saltburn.

Annabel sits on your bathroom counter patiently, ankles crossed, watching the way you focus as you wipe off her makeup with meticulous care. When you take off her necklace, you coil it delicately on top of the nice clothes she'd been wearing, now sitting on top of her shoes by your door. At first she tries to wave you off when you offer to brush out her hair -

"There's -" she hiccups; the full bottle of vodka has finally hit her, but still she tries to shake her head, "too much hairspray, it'll be a hassle -"

"I'll be gentle," you told her softly, assurance in your eyes and a warm smile on your lips, "if you'll let me." Annabel melts under that gaze, sitting in borrowed pyjamas, face clean, cross-legged on your bed in the lamp light. You treat her with the gentlest care, brushing out her hair while you can still hear her occasional sniffles; she sits as primly as she's able, only apologising once at the start for it's length. You assured her it's fine.

"You scare me sometimes," Annabel mutters into the quiet, voice watery. For a moment, you pause.

"Me?"

"Both- both of you. You and Felix," she sniffles again, "and Farleigh too now, I guess," you can tell she swallows thickly, voice catching in her throat. When she tries to dip her head, she can feel the way you're still holding gently, still working, and she apologises faintly. Carefully, quietly, giving her space to organise her tipsy, upset thoughts, you continue to brush out her hair.

"Never met anyone like you, you know? Didn't think people like you guys existed. You're always everything; the most without even trying," she takes a deep breath, but it's undercut by a faint sob that's almost a chuckle, "I kind of think you don't even know what I mean- you especially, you know?" You... don't.

You brush, only giving a faint apology, but all she does is fidget, the words spilling unrehearsed from her, things she's clearly been bottling for far too long -

"Felix is everything everyone wants, and you're everything everyone wants him to be," she says it so forlornly, "the sun and it's fucking warmth," then, almost disgusted as she spits it under her breath, "I think about how he's never going to fuck me the way he looks at you while he's shitfaced, how sick is that?"

With a few more strokes her hair is brushed out, and without even thinking you start to braid it. Annabel's dissolved into tears again, her face in her hands, but you're just careful not to tug on her hair too hard as her whole body shakes with them.

"He never gave a proper shit about me, did he?" Annabel sobs as you're tying off the braid. The minute it's done, she turns and throws herself into your arms, sobbing against your chest, "I'm just another fucking girl to him!"

"He still loves you as a friend, I'm sure; you know how Fi is-" you pet her shoulder carefully as she clutches your shirt for dear life.

"I don't wanna be his fucking friend! I gave him my fucking heart and now he's probably got his dick in that slag India, who said she was my friend!" Spitting her words with fury, with venom, she looks up, but only sees a look of pitying apology in your eyes; she's probably right. Lip curling, she throws herself back on your bed, hands covering her face once more, "he doesn't fucking care," she groaned, fury turning poisonous with resignation, "I know he doesn't care; if I thought he truly cared I would have fucked Oliver -"

"What?"

"- Felix is so fucking fickle, god, seems like he doesn't even care about Oliver anymore, I should have- should have -" she continues on, but breaks down crying again. Getting off the bed, you leave for the common room for half a moment, filling it with water.

"Drink this," you instruct, sitting next to Annabel on the edge of the bed. She scowls, but follows your orders easily, even if she can't properly look you in the eye. The water seemed to have at least helped, as her crying quiets down as you refill the glass in your bathroom sink.

"I feel like shit," she mumbles, watching you come back into the room and place the cup on her bedside.

"Well you look pretty," you tell her teasingly, trying to lighten the mood even a little as you gently pinched her cheek. She does not appear to find the humour in the moment. Still, you turn off your lamp and climb over her into the bed, "please don't throw up in my bed or on my floor."

"I know where your bathroom is."

The two of you kick off the neat duvet but pull the thin, luxurious sheet over you both.

"Thank you..." it sounds begrudging as she says it. You tell her it's no stress, sitting up for a moment in order to open your window a crack, let a breeze in overnight, but still hear her when she says, "you're a bad friend."

Still sitting, you take a deep breath, sighing as a silhouette in the moonlight.

Annabel is more astute than you possibly gave her credit for in this state; amongst all her felt injustices, she'd never once asked about how you felt about Felix fucking India, your well established not-girlfriend. Because somehow she knew, perhaps even that you gave your blessing. You'd never been a cruel person as long as you could help it, but you'd made peace with your priorities too long ago to start apologising for them now. So yes, you'd taken Annabel in for the night, but she knew in her heart that you were partially at fault for her despair in the first place. You both knew.

Enabling Felix was never really about making anyone else happy.

"I know."

Something about your admission seems to be enough for Annabel, however. When you lay back down beside her, she curls up against you, tucks herself all along your side, arm around you, head on your chest.

The next morning, Annabel moves silently around your dorm. When you wake up, all that's even left of her presence is the empty cup of water on your bedside. No kind of note, no text, she'd made sure she didn't even wake you before leaving.

Fucking Christ, what a bloody week did yesterday feel like, is all you can think as the mid-morning sun slashes through your barely parted curtains and paints your chest with light.

You consider sleeping in, consider that you'd definitely earned it after yesterday, but then your phone starts ringing. It's Felix. He sounds grim.

"Hey, can you get over here? We need you."

[cloudbersoo]

would you mind?｜zhang hao

synopsis: how to get over a guy you didn’t even date in ten easy steps with the help of zhang hao.

tags: zhang hao x gn!reader, acquaintances to lovers, university au, fluff, slight angst, y/n likes someone else at the beginning, y/n is very drunk, making out when drunk, shy!hao, bestie!matthew has no filter, roommate!taerae, hanbin keeps laughing, what did jiwoong do though? y/n overthinks a little sometimes, mentions of sex and implied sex but no explicit smut! (im a minor and can’t write smut for the life of me)

word count: 6k (how did this get so long?)

a/n: this is my first fic in like six years and the first in english altogether! idk how to feel about this one but i thought to post it anyway. writing this honestly made me respect fanfic writers so much more, it really isn’t easy! this took me like five days to make. not sure how often i’ll be doing this but i enjoyed writing a lot. sorry for any grammar errors or such, i proofread this a couple of times, but my english isn’t perfect, so some mistakes might go past me. anyway, thanks and sorry! enjoy reading!

my playlist while writing: in bloom & new kidz on the block by zb1, cream soda & private party by exo, roller coaster & party o’clock by nmixx !!

i. drink your feelings away

“finally you’re here” matthew mumbled in his slightly drunken stage, leaning onto a wall as you closed the door behind you. you could hear the music and people’s chatter coming from the living room. the smell of alcohol was also very strong, especially on your friend. you wished you could just turn back and go home. you were way too miserable to party right now but the sweet smile matthew was giving you was making you stay. you couldn’t possibly disappoint your best friend on his special day.

“yeah, sorry for being late” you finally answered to the birthday boy as you handed out your gift with a forced smile. “happy birthday matt.” 

he took the bottle of wine and chuckled. “thank you y/n” he said, looking at the bottle of his favourite. “for this and for coming tonight” he continued as he raised his gaze to you apologetically. 

“of course” you uttered, trying your best to convince your friend you wanted to be here, as if you didn’t just think about leaving two seconds ago. your convincing didn’t seem to be working as matthew sighed. matthew put down the bottle and walked in front of you. he examined your face for a while before he embraced you in a hug. “he didn’t deserve you anyway” he whispered close to your ear.

right.

jaemin.

the guy who broke your heart just a few days ago. he didn’t mean to, you suppose. he just didn’t realise you were totally in love with him when he introduced you to his partner of three years. how stupid could you be?

you held your tiers in at the mention of him. not today. you can cry about it later. 

you embraced your friend for a while as you collected yourself. “you know what matt?” You finally spoke as you made eye contact with him. matthew hummed, looking at you with anticipation. 

“i’m going to have fun tonight.”

ii. embarrass yourself

about five bottles of soju and a couple beers later you were completely out of it. you were somewhere in matthew’s apartment, kitchen or living room, you were not entirely sure. laying on the cold floor with zero thoughts of your shattered heart. you felt at peace. your peace, however, didn’t last long as it was eventually broken by a familiar voice calling your name. 

“y/n? you okay down there?” the voice asked with amusement. you opened your eyes and were met with hanbin’s gaze from above you. he must have found your state hilarious as he bursted out laughing. 

you got up from the floor with difficulty and flopped next to him on the couch. “never been better” you mumbled to your friend with a relaxed smile. you started making yourself comfortable and leaned your head on hanbin’s shoulder. what you failed to notice in your drunken state was the other person sitting on the couch. the one you were currently cuddling up to.

“hao” your friend started. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen y/n so wasted” hanbin laughed with tears in his eyes. 

what. 

suddenly, you were too aware of your surroundings, like there was no alcohol in your system anymore. you quickly got up and saw that hanbin was not in fact the person you had leaned into. the person sitting next to you was hanbin’s good friend, zhang hao. the boy’s face flushed as he looked at your shocked face.

oh my god.

you were not that familiar with zhang hao. you knew he was good friends with hanbin and matthew. he was from the music department just like your roommate taerae, and you were pretty sure he played the violin. he was reserved and quiet, and definitely not the most fond of you (even though your friends have tried to convince you otherwise). a friend of a friend. that’s what he was. not someone who you could comfortably cuddle with. this is so embarrassing.

“i’m so sorry!” you quickly blurted out as you hid your face behind your palms. you could still hear hanbin’s laugh as you were thinking about your way out of the situation. 

“it’s o-okay” zhang hao managed to stutter. you were in too deep thought to hear what the boy in front of you was saying. you searched for your other friend in the crowd. it’s time for me to leave. as you found matthew by the balcony with a girl, you turned back to the men on the couch. “i’m just gonna go!” you quickly said to prevent any more embarrassment and made your way to your best friend.

he saw you coming from afar and smirked at you. “you’ve definitely enjoyed yourself” matthew said delightfully. oh. he definitely saw everything.

“you saw nothing” you bit back and leaned onto your friend as the alcohol started to kick back in again. “i’m going home” you continued. could you even walk straight? no. but you could just call your roommate to meet you halfway.

“in this state? no you’re not” the boy slurred just as drunk as you were. he wrapped his arm around your shoulder in an attempt to keep you from leaving. you were glad your friend cared about your safety even when he was drunk. his company, however, was not enjoying the sight in front of her and you could tell you had interrupted something. 

“i’ll call taerae to pick me up, don’t worry.” you assured your friend. “i’ll leave you two alone now.” you gave a smile to the girl and mouthed “sorry” as you left the two before matthew could protest any further.

iii. make a foolish choice

walking down four sets of stairs with your hands occupied by your phone was a challenge. you somehow made it though and were trying to contact your roommate. he was not answering. where is he? your apartment wasn’t that far from matthew’s but the darkness was creeping you out a little. you sent a quick text to taerae, saying you were coming home before you started your journey. 

you had made it past a couple turns when you started feeling like someone was following you. you’re just being paranoid, that's all. but the feeling only grew stronger as you clearly heard footsteps behind you. you were already walking as fast as you could in your state. is this the end?  “i’m gonna die-”

“y/n,” you quickly turned around to the familiar voice. 

zhang hao.

“oh it’s just you” you said as you relaxed until it hit you. zhang hao. the reason why you had run away from the party in the first place. your surprise finally showed on your face, which zhang hao found amusing. 

"sorry if I scared you” he let out an airy laugh while awkwardly standing in front of you. for some reason you had never really looked at the boy. he was tall and his hair was still styled nicely even after a long day. he was wearing a light blue button up shirt with black jeans that seemed way out of your price range. there was something about the way he was looking at you under the glow of the streetlights. he was looking at you with stars in his eyes, like there was no one else but the two of you in the world. the sight of him almost made your heart skip a beat. he had a few moles on his face, one right under his eye and another on his cheek that you wish you could kiss right now. has he always been this pretty? 

no. why is he here? 

he tried to give you a reassuring smile as he took a step closer. “you shouldn’t walk alone at this hour, it’s not safe for you.” he continued like he had just read your mind.

“so you think I'm safe with you?” you asked, slightly teasing. it was definitely the alcohol speaking.

the boy’s eyes widened in shock and he opened his mouth to say something but failed. “well- I mean” zhang hao finally responded with panic, not quite sure what he was supposed to say. you couldn’t hold your giggles which seemed to ease his nerves. his figure seemed to relax as he walked past you. “my apartment isn’t that far from yours, so we can just walk together. it’s safer for both of us.” zhang hao finished. 

lies. you’ve once picked hanbin up from his apartment and it's nowhere near yours. however, zhang hao didn’t need to know that you knew. you wouldn’t mind walking home with him even if the two of you weren’t that close, because he was right – this was safer (not because he suddenly made you think of things you haven't before).

so, the two of you continued walking towards your place. zhang hao didn’t say much as you walked, only telling you to be more careful as you almost stumbled to the ground. he also decided to hold you up from your waist from that point on – which you definitely didn’t mind. he didn’t seem to mind either as there was no signs of annoyance that you would’ve except from zhang hao in this situation.  

“we’re here” he said as the two of you stood in front of your apartment building. you really didn’t want him to go. you really didn’t want to be alone at all. because you knew the moment you were alone again you’d break down again and cry about the guy who broke your heart. just for this one night, you wished not to cry yourself to sleep. maybe it was foolish of you to ask zhang hao of all people to comfort you, but right now you couldn’t think of anything else. 

“would you like to come in?”

“do you need help to get to your door?”

you both had talked at the same time. you broke eye contact as the two of you chuckled. so he didn’t want to leave yet either? as it got quiet again you decided to look at the boy again. zhang hao seemed hesitant as he studied your face. then he smiled at you as he said “if that’s what you need.”

iv. get cockbocked by a roommate

some might find the silence between you and zhang hao awkward, but you found it soothing. he was drinking the water you had given him as you sat on the kitchen counter. he looked even more handsome up close. the way he was leaning onto the counter and the way he was looking at you. oh, how much you wished to make him yours tonight. would he mind? 

your mind stopped wandering as the boy put down his glass on the sink. “i should probably go and let you sleep” he said quietly as he stood in front of you. he was incredibly close to you, his hand on your knee, his nose almost touching yours – like he didn’t want to leave. you couldn’t help but lower your gaze to his lips. they were pink and puffy, slightly wet like they were waiting to be kissed. you looked back to zhang hao’s eyes but they didn’t meet yours. he was doing the same thing – staring at your lips. 

maybe you were going to regret it. maybe this wasn’t right, kissing your friends’ friend. but you couldn’t possibly think about any of that as you leaned in. 

his lips felt as soft as they looked. it took a moment for zhang hao to realise what was happening but eventually he kissed you back. his left hand landed on your cheek as his right hand went up your thigh. the kiss deepened as you put your hands around the boy's neck, pulling him closer to you. you don’t remember the last time you have been kissed like this. he was driving you insane and you wished he’d never stop. 

“y/n?” you hear a voice say at the door. 

taerae.

you and zhang hao froze before you rapidly let go of each other. sleepy taerae rubbed his eyes walking into the kitchen as you tried to calm your beating heart. so he didn’t answer because he was asleep. you took a look at zhang hao who’s blush was prominent even in the dark. “when did you get home?” your roommate asked as he yawned.

“zhang hao walked me, i was just giving him some water before he left.” you blurted out an excuse, which wasn’t inherently a lie – taerae didn’t need to know what happened after that. your sleepy roommate didn’t look suspicious and seemed to buy it. “he was actually just about to leave.” you took another look at zhang hao, trying to get him to say something. 

“yeah, i’ll just get going then.” he said, bid taerae goodbye, and was out of the apartment in mere minutes. 

fuck.

v. overthink your life choices

lunch used to be your favourite time of the day, mostly because you used to share it with jaemin all the time. matthew barely ever had time to eat lunch with you, which is how you got to know jaemin in the first place. the two of you clicked instantly and you thought there was something between you. how wrong you were. the past week you have been distancing yourself from jaemin and he hasn't been asking after you. you really meant nothing to him in the end. even now he’s just a few tables away loudly debating about something with his group of friends, completely unaware of the effect he has had on you.

taerae’s giggles seem to wake you from your slumber. you moved your gaze from jaemin to your roommate. he was laughing over a video hanbin had just shown him. “what is jiwoong doing?” he managed to say between giggles. 

“speaking of the devil” hanbin said as he waved past your shoulder. jiwoong walked to your table with zhang hao next to him, which was odd as the two of you’ve had a similar relationship with the chinese boy up until a few days ago (unless jiwoong had also been making out with him recently). “what did i do?” jiwoong questioned his friends as he placed his lunch on the table.

“nothing, nothing. where’s matthew?” hanbin said as he hid his phone with a grin.

“he’s on a date” you said nonchalantly. everyone at the table suddenly turned their heads towards you. they had totally forgotten you were even there as you had spent most of your break staring at a certain someone. you should get your shit together.

“oh right, zhang hao! thanks for walking y/n home the other night.” taerae said as zhang hao sat next to hanbin. well shit. you hadn’t told anyone of what had happened with zhang hao after matthew’s party. you hadn’t even talked to zhang hao since then. you felt awful that you had tried to use him to forget about someone else, and then kicked him out as your roommate found the two of you. you weren’t sure how you were supposed to even bring it up to him when you were never alone with him anyway. 

“you walked her home?” hanbin questioned as he turned his head to his left where zhang hao was sitting. the boy only gave his friend a small nod as he dug into his food. his aura seemed so different in the daylight. his hair wasn’t styled like at the party, it was a bit all over the place. the way he stuffed his mouth full of food made him look cute. his cheeks were slightly pink with blush. while observing the boy, you had completely missed the teasing smile on hanbin’s face.

how were you supposed to talk to him? thanks for walking me home and making out with me in my kitchen. does he even want to talk about it? the two of you had seen each other around campus a couple times since then and he hasn't tried to talk to you once. maybe all of it was just a spur of the moment thing for him that he now wished to forget about.

you sighed as you decided it was your time to leave for class. there was no way you were going to talk to zhang hao now anyway, not in front of all your friends. “my lecture is starting soon, i’ll go now.” you said as you stood up. taking your things with you and hearing people say their goodbyes, you were on your way.

“wait, are we just going to ignore the fact that matthew is on a date?” you could hear jiwoong ask behind you.

vi. get help

“so…” matthew said in a teasing tone as he sat across from you at the library. 

“so, what?” you questioned, like you had no idea what your best friend was referring to. well, in your defence, you never knew with matthew, but you had a feeling this conversation topic started with a z and ended with hang hao. “you and hao?” he continued, just like you had anticipated, raising his eyebrows. 

“what about me and zhang hao?” you continued, acting clueless in the hopes of him dropping the conversation. 

“after what i saw at my birthday party and then hearing he walked you home, i hoped the two of you worked out the weird tension between you two and finally fucked” your friend blurted out in a very matthew way, like it was the most obvious conclusion to come to in the world. 

“we did not!” you raised your voice a little too much as you tried to defend yourself. you got a few judging stares from the people around you who were trying to study. something you were supposed to do as well, instead of having this conversation about zhang hao. “we didn’t fuck…” you continued more quietly. there was no reason for you to lie to your best friend. not when you could use his help.

“but you were going to?” he gave you a knowing look.

“well yeah, but then taerae woke up and i panicked and i kinda kicked zhang hao out-” you started rambling. wait. “how did you know we almost fucked? did he talk to you? what did he say? does he totally hate me now?” you continued like you were going to lose your mind. and now matthew was laughing at you, trying his best to stay quiet. 

“i haven’t talked to anyone, except hanbin, he’s just as convinced there’s something going on between you and hao as i am” your friend finally spoke. if only you knew what was going on between the two of you. you sighed and hit your head on the table. “what’s the problem y/n? you know, you could just text him and ask him" matthew said.

“i don’t have his number” you mumble in despair. 

“what? how can you not have his number?” matthew asked, confused.

“why would i? was i supposed to ask for it when we were making out or something?” you said as you lifted your head from the table, looking at your friend who definitely didn’t need to hear any more details of that night.

matthew took his phone out of his pocket, and gave it to you after a moment. “here, take his number and text him”

vii. become friends

you were currently sitting down at a park you had agreed to meet with zhang hao. matthew was able to convince you it was better to sort things out with zhang hao sooner than later. but now that you were here, waiting for the guy, you couldn’t help but feel nervous. it was warm as summer was finally coming and you felt like you were sweating buckets. was it the weather or your nerves – you were not quite sure.

“hi, did you have to wait long?” you hear a familiar voice from your left and see zhang hao’s figure coming towards you. he waved at you while giving you a sweet smile. damn. he’s so pretty. 

“oh no, not at all” you answered, trying to give the boy a smile to hide your nervousness. 

“what did you want to talk about?” zhang hao said calmly as he sat down next to you. unlike the other night, now he had left much space between the two of you. he didn’t seem nervous at all, which made you feel uneasy. maybe this wasn’t as big of a deal for him as it was for you. 

“at matt’s party, i’m sorry for being such a mess and dragging you into it” you decided to tell him. “i had a few too many drinks that night.” you took a look at zhang hao. he seemed surprised, maybe a little hurt as he tried to get comfortable on the bench. was that not the right thing to say?  “i mean, i probably made you uncomfortable and then i rushed you out of my place when taerae woke up, it was super rude of me to-” you were starting to ramble. 

“i wasn’t uncomfortable” he cut you off. he finally turned to look at you again “i wouldn’t have come in if i was.” there was the look again, making your heart beat louder on your chest. he was looking at you like he did under the streetlights, like you were the only person in the world that mattered. you wouldn’t mind getting lost in his eyes. “so don’t be too sorry, i enjoyed it as long as it lasted.” he gave you a shy smile.

oh.

this was the first time the boy had made you blush, usually it was the other way around. you broke eye contact to hide your shyness from him. “cool, cool” you started quite awkwardly. “we should probably be casual about all this, since we're friends and all…”

“we’re friends now? i’m cool with that” zhang hao replied with amusement.

“i mean, we’ve known each other long enough to call us that, i guess” you tried to reason, not realising your friend was only teasing you. as you turned your gaze back to him you saw him still smiling at you. this man will be the death of me. “well that’s that. sorry i can’t stay longer, i have places to be. bye zhang hao.” you said as you got up from the bench. you had nowhere to be, but you couldn’t possibly handle being in zhang hao’s presence any longer. 

“bye friend!” he yelled after you still with a teasing tone.

viii. feel nothing

you and your new friend zhang hao have gotten along well since your talk at the park. nothing has changed that much, except now you greet each other at campus, engage in conversation together, and sometimes share memes with each other. you have tried to convince matthew that you and zhang hao are really just friends and nothing more. matthew just can’t help himself when he teases you with kissy noises every time you interact with zhang hao. he’s the only other person that knows about your little secret. even hanbin doesn’t know, because if he did — everyone would. 

you were finally finished with your last class of the day, walking out of your department building. you felt at ease as everything in your life was finally going well. you were able to sort things out with zhang hao, you weren’t particularly struggling with any classes, and you were barely thinking about him, who shall not be named. 

as if on cue, there he was standing a few meters away from you. jaemin. he wasn’t alone though, as he was having a conversation with someone. you couldn’t quite tell what the two were talking about, not that really even mattered to you. contrary to popular belief, your heart no longer ached at the sight of him. you continued your journey with no intent to interact with jaemin, at least not until you realised who exactly he was talking with. when you were close enough you could recognize the other man’s voice.

what was zhang hao doing with jaemin? the sight in front of you felt really odd, but you couldn’t possibly look away. zhang hao almost towered over jaemin, paying attention to what the latter was talking about. he was wearing glasses that complimented his face well. one of his sleeves was rolled up revealing his toned arm. he looked so mesmerising, you couldn't help but stare.

it didn’t take long for you to be caught staring as jaemin called out your name. “wow it’s been so long. how have you been?” he asked happily as you took a few steps closer to the two. zhang hao was surprised to see you, his gaze moving between you and jaemin. his face filled with worry made you think he must have heard about jaemin and you from someone (definitely not from hanbin). you gave zhang hao a reassuring smile as you greeted jaemin, who was ready to embrace you in a hug. 

“i’ve been well” you sounded a little awkward as the two of you let go. an act that used to make your heart do backflips no longer felt like anything. “what were you two talking about? i didn’t know you even knew each other.��� you asked out of curiosity as you stood next to zhang hao, who suddenly put his arm around your shoulder. you turned your head towards your friend, trying to understand what he was up to. 

“we’ve shared a few classes here and there” zhang hao said as he turned his head to face you. he was so close to you again, making your heart beat louder on your chest. “you’re ready to go?” he continued. you could only show your confusion on your face as you didn’t trust your voice to say anything at the close proximity. “dinner? remember?” he gave you a wink.

what? you were completely lost. what was this man talking about? 

“oooh, date night?” jaemin cooed in front of you. he took his headphones out of his back and put them over his ears. “i won't waste your time anymore then. y/n we should totally catch up sometime!” he didn’t wait for your response before he left. 

you and zhang hao stayed close to each other in silence for a while. you wondered if he could hear the way your heart was beating for him. you tried to look for answers from his face but to no avail. finally, zhang hao moved and removed his hand off of you, what had felt like way too soon. “sorry” he said as he stood in front of you. “you must have felt awkward seeing him” he continued, scratching the back of his neck. 

“did you do all that to get rid of him? i’m fine, i don’t like him like that anymore” you felt the need to clarify to him.

“oh” he said, blush breaking to his face and neck. “well, i was getting tired of him anyway” he excused and removed his gaze from you to hide his embarrassment. you thought he looked the cutest whenever he got shy or embarrassed. 

your laugh seemed to peak his interest again, as he turned his gaze back on you. your blushing face, matching his own. a comfortable silence fell between you again. ”just friends huh?” you could hear matthew’s teasing voice in your head.

“y/n?” zhang hao eventually spoke. you hummed as a response, waiting him to carry on. “have you eaten yet?” the boy continued hesitantly. 

“no, not yet” you answered truthfully, not quite sure where the conversation was going. zhang hao stayed quiet for a while. he was nervously shifting on his place, turning his face away from you once again. he was trying to find the right way to ask you.

“would you like to go out for dinner then?” he asked carefully. 

“sure!” you answered enthusiastically. you were starving at this point and wouldn’t mind spending some time with friends as well. “who else is coming?” 

“well, i thought it could be just us…” the boy responded, still not daring to look at you. 

oh.

“oh! that works too. sure. yeah.” you replied, definitely not embarrassed that you didn’t get the hint right away. “does indian sound good to you? i’m craving butter chicken” you continued, trying to move the conversation onwards, while your heart kept beating hard against your chest. 

“if that’s what you want, it’s good with me” zhang hao said and the two of you started your way out of campus, both a blushing mess.

ix. feel everything

you were not entirely sure what to think. had you just been on a date? zhang hao didn’t explicitly call it that, but it surely had felt like one. the dinner went smoothly, it didn’t feel awkward and the two of you were able to talk to each other comfortably. he constantly smiled at you and asked you questions about your life, putting the effort into getting to know you. he even insisted on paying for your meal in the end. 

you got to know things about him as well, as zhang hao no longer felt shy talking to you. he’s an only child and very close with his mom. he chose to play the violin, because it’s much easier to carry around compared to a cello. him and jiwoong have gotten closer lately because jiwoong had asked him to help him with a song he has been working on. he also revealed that he was glad that the two of you have gotten closer, which made you question things even more.

you were walking to your apartment in silence, completely sober this time. zhang hao had insisted on walking you home again, “as a man should” he had said. the way his hand was accidentally brushing against yours every once in a while was giving you butterflies in your stomach. you were not entirely sure if the man next to you even realises how much of an effect he had on you. you weren’t walking that fast because you really didn’t want the night to end. 

must to your dismay, you ended up in front of your apartment building. it felt like deja vu, standing in front of him again. you didn’t want zhang hao to leave, but you weren’t sure if it was appropriate to invite him in. you couldn't hide behind the confidence alcohol had given you last time. you didn't know what to say, so you settled on just staring at his face, completely mesmerised. he was doing the same, his gaze wandering on your face, like he was trying to remember each little detail of you. 

“i should…” zhang hao started, now looking straight into your eyes. “i should probably go now” he continued, not at all convincing. he made no effort to move, which finally gave you the confidence to talk. it won’t hurt to ask, right?

“i could offer you a glass of water before you go” you said, tearing your gaze away, still slightly scared of what he might answer. “you know, taerae’s not home tonight…” you added. as you heard no answer from the boy, you hesitantly took a look at him. he was smiling at you again, the way he had been all dinner. 

zhang hao took a step closer, raising his hand to hold your chin, making you hold eye contact with him. he lowered his gaze slowly to your lips, looking at you like you were someone to be desired. “you sure?” he finally spoke in a lower voice, still staring at your lips. you could only hum in response. and then he leaned in to kiss you. 

his lips were soft, but he pushed them hard against yours. he tasted like cherries as you kissed him back. the kiss deepened quickly as his tongue pushed past your lips. his arms lowered to your hips, pulling you closer, as you put yours behind his neck, playing with his hair. you didn’t stop until you both were almost running out of air.

zhang hao let out an airy laugh. “i’ve wanted to do that for a while” he confessed, your arms still tangled around each other. he was looking at you with so much adoration.

“yeah? me too” you smiled, your cheeks slightly pink. you let go of the boy to open the door to your apartment building. he held onto your arm as the two of you walked towards the elevator. you turned to look at zhang hao, who’s cheeks were a shade of pink as well. he noticed you staring and gave you another sweet smile. the door finally opened, and he couldn’t even wait till you got to your apartment, as he stole another kiss from you as you entered the elevator.

“i honestly thought you didn’t like me at all” you admitted to him as you parted from the kiss.

“that’s what hanbin always told me” zhang hao answered, now with a pout on his lips. “i was just too shy to talk to you, you’re like the most gorgeous person i’ve ever laid my eyes on” he continued, no longer daring to look you in the eye. even he seemed a little surprised by his sudden confession. 

oh. 

you’ve received compliments before, but hearing one from zhang hao felt different. your cheeks heated up again, and you could feel your excitement all the way down on your stomach. you wanted him so badly, you could only wish he felt the same way. when the elevator stopped, you decided to quickly peck the boy's cheek before you dragged him to your apartment.

once the door to your apartment closed behind you, you were all over each other. his lips connected with yours as your arms roamed all over your bodies. you couldn’t get enough of him, wanting him even closer to you. you stumbled over to your bedroom, where you gave him one more kiss before backing away.

zhang hao looked at you with concern. “are you okay?” he asked while still holding you closely.

“yeah, i just- i want to make sure you want this as much i do” you answered, studying his face for any signs of regret or hesitation. 

“i really like you y/n, and i want this more than you think” he admitted. he detached one of his hands from you to remove his glasses out of the way, putting them down to your nightstand. he lowered his hand on your cheek, cherishing it gently. “let me show you just how much you mean to me.”

so you let him, as you kissed him again.

x. fall in love

you were still out of breath as you cuddled up to zhang hao’s bare body. he wrapped his hand around you and squeezed you closer to him, twirling your hair with his fingers. you laid your head against his chest, drawing circles on his toned body, sighing with content. you felt zhang hao’s lips against your forehead, giving you a peck after peck. the act made you giggle, turning your gaze to him.

“what?” you asked.

“nothing, i’m just really happy” he answered, giving you one more kiss on your lips. he looked at you with so much love and warmth, which made you feel like you were dreaming. you couldn’t help but wonder what made you deserve to meet someone like zhang hao. no one has made you feel this good in such a long time, if ever. suddenly, very overwhelmed with your feelings, you hid your face on the crook of his neck.

you felt zhang hao’s chest vibrate from the laughter he let out. “cute” he whispered quietly, mostly to just himself, cherishing your head again. you got comfortable again, almost falling asleep in his embrace. his breath also evening out as he was slowly drifting away to sleep too.

“i really like you too, zhang hao” you sleepily mumbled against his skin, before the two of you fell into dreamland together.

- end

bonus:

“why do you always call me zhang hao?”

“maybe because it’s your name??”

“yes, but everyone calls me hao. you’re the only one who calls me zhang hao”

“oh”

“well, hao, i’ll call you that from now on”

the boy’s face flushed red as he finally heard you say his name. 

“oh my god, you’re so cute!” 

he turns his face to hide his blush from you.

“shut up”

[whlfchn]

kitten ~ lee know

pairing: lee know x fem!reader

word count: 3.8k

rating: 18+!!!

genre: smut, consensual hate sex, dom!lee know

synopsis: you two never got along and would always push each others buttons which normally would drive one another mad with rage... so why cant you simply walk away this time? why do you hate each other almost as much as you want each other?

warnings: degradation, words like whore and slut are used, some nipple play, oral (fem! and male! receiving), rough sex, slight spanking, choking, very little bondage, orgasm denial, mature language, hate sex

authors note: this is my first attempt at writing hate sex! I usually write fluffy smut, but I wanted to challenge myself and write some rough sex that still had some good backstory. I might make this into a friends with benefit series or enemies to lovers in the future, but im not sure yet haha

!my content is not suitable for minors! 18+ only! by reading more you consent to being 18+ and to nsfw content and take all responsibility!

Your warm body is leaning on the cold backyard railing as your thoughts are drowned out by the loud music. Finding yourself fading into the background as you sit back and observe. Tonight you found yourself getting dragged into attending a stupid college party.

You were never one to attend such events, but your best friend was a socialite and finally managed to drag you away from your solitude and to a party. 

You were polar opposites. She was funny, beautiful, positive, and got along with everyone. Not to be cocky, but you were very good looking as well. On the other hand you weren't as social and liked to keep to yourself. Your main focus was school and your career. Not finding the time and energy for things that didn't contribute to your needs.

You were a junior in college. A dance major to be exact. At a very young age you learned the hardships of life and didn't feel like you fit in anywhere. It wasn't until one day that you went with your family to this annual festival you heard so much about. There were many attractions, but the dance performances are what altered your life. You had never seen something as breathtaking as what you witnessed that day. The way that each movement melted into each other. Graceful yet powerful movements to each beat. The way that each dancer interpreted the song differently and how they told a story with their bodies. At that very young age, you saw those performances and knew who and what you wanted to be.

You met your best friend in middle school. You were both attending the same school and dance classes. Fate you would say. She came at a time of need. A lot of people had let you down, but no matter your differences she never gave up on you and has always been there for you. She was your one and only true friend even after all these years.

Unluckily for you, she was just as stubborn as you could be and managed to drag you to a party tonight. You liked to have fun from time to time, but midterms were coming up so you've been at your dorm studying and at the dance studio non stop. It took all day for your best friend to convince you to tag along.

So here you were, alone on the backyard porch watching your best friend take shot after shot having the time of her life. You had a few drinks earlier in the night and were tipsy but nowhere near drunk. 

Leaning against the railing you dig into your purse and pull out your box of cigarettes. Taking one out and putting the tip in your mouth.

“Smoking is a terrible habit for a dancer kitten.”

“Fuck off and leave me alone,” you muttered while digging into your purse to find your lighter.

You knew that voice and nickname all too well. It was none other than the “legendary” Lee Know. The senior that everyone talked about. There was no denying he was an amazing dancer and sculpted by the gods, but it was his personality you found to be quite sour.

A hand and lighter came into your view. Too tired to find your own lighter you inhale and allow him to light it for you. Nicotine and smoke soon fill your lungs. As you take the cigarette out of your mouth smoke slowly slips from your lips. 

Out of the corner of your eye you see him light his own cigarette.

“I thought smoking was a terrible habit for dancers?”

“It is.”

You scoff at his short and blunt response. You two never got along. Both fueled by rage from each other's presence. 

He was in a dance crew that consisted of a couple of your classmates. Stray Kids is what they called themselves. Freshman and sophomore year you had heard a lot about him from the girls in school. Mostly about his visuals and bad boy reputation, but that never intrigued you. It was his dancing that drew you in. You first laid your eyes on him at your freshman school orientation. All the departments had performances lined up for the incoming freshmen. The dance department had lots of performances, but he stood out from the rest. Everyone was amazed by his looks, but for you it was the way he moved, the way he hit every beat, and the way he lost himself to the music.

Your best friend was friends with what felt like the whole world and often dragged you to hang out with them. On this particular day it was the beginning of your junior year and you were told by your bestie that you would be hanging out with the boys in your major. Those boys were a part of the group called Stray Kids. You also heard Lee Know would be tagging along. This excited you since you would finally be able to meet the man you heard so much about and admired the first two years of college. Although you didn't know him personally you looked up to him as he was hands down one of the best dancers you laid your eyes on. But as the saying goes, never meet your heroes! 

All the boys seemed cool and chill, except for the man, the myth and the legend Lee Know. He was cold and cocky from day one and picked on you any chance he got. You had no clue what you did to get on this man's bad side, but the feeling of disappointment and anger fueled you anytime you laid your eyes on him. Reminding you that solitude was all you ever needed. With the exception of your best friend of course.

“You look… different,” he says, eyes trailing up and down your frame. Body covered in a short black dress that complimented your shape.

You choose to ignore him and take more drags from your cigarette.

“Looks like your friend is drunk as fuck,”

“So are yours,” you say, looking over to his friend group that are the loudest in the party.

He laughs and leans on his side to face you. You sigh and do the same to finally get a good look at the man disturbing your peace.

Your eyes scan him up and down. There was no denying this man was heaven sent. He was extremely good looking. It made you feel sick how someone could be so hot, but such a pain in the ass. He was wearing all black. Black cargos that adorned his thick thighs nicely with a black leather belt holding them up. A black shirt tucked in with a zipper in the middle going all the way down. Open halfway showing part of his chest and drawing attention to the black choker he had on.

“Like what you see kitten?”

“Fuck you”

“Right now?, In front of all these people?” he says, smirking and lifting a brow cockily.

“Look kitten, thanks for the offer, but I'm not that bored and you're not that lucky,” he chuckles, taking another drag from his cigarette.

All you could do was look at him dumbfounded and laugh at the words that just left his mouth. 

“Tch… as if I would offer you such a great time. Trust me, you can't handle me,” you say, smirking back at the man that looks taken aback by what you said.

Not one word is said back. You take this as your cue to finally get away from him and be on your way now that you're done with your cigarette and would like some peace before this ends in another huge argument if continued. You start walking away, but you barely make it a few steps before he speaks up.

“I can handle you,” he says, voice low, barely audible.

You stop in your tracks, you slowly turn around and raise your eyebrow.

“You? Handling me? Well from what I hear, you wouldn't be any good at it and I have standards,” you chuckle in disbelief.

He quickly flicks his cigarette to the ground and stomps on it before making his way to you. Stopping only inches away from you. He grabs your face aggressively and looks into your eyes with such rage and a dark aura surrounding him. Tensions rising, air getting denser, and your body growing hotter by the second. He slowly brings his mouth next to your ear. 

“You say a lot of mean things kitten. Why don't we put that pretty mouth of yours to better use?,” he whispers.

Fuck it. Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, the warmth from the cigarette, or honestly how long it's been since you’ve had sex. But maybe fucking the guy that hates you as much as you hate him will satisfy you both. Using him for your sexual pleasure didn't sound so bad.

“If you insist” 

“What?,” he says, eyes widening in disbelief.

You get out of his grasp and turn around and walk towards the door on the porch that leads into the house. Hand hovering over the doorknob as you turn around and find him in the same spot staring at you.

“Are you coming or not? I can always ask that hot friend of yours. Chan was his name right? He probably knows how to satisfy a girl better than you ever have” you say, acting all innocent. You could swear his eyes turned even darker as he finally started moving in your direction. 

You giggle at how easy it was to get him riled up. Quickly turning the doorknob and entering the house, heading upstairs. Footsteps following closely behind you. As you reach the second floor you slow down and look around trying to find which room you should pick.

“This room,” he says, turning the handle and entering with such ease. Flipping on the switch as you follow behind.

The light illuminates the wide, almost empty space. A king sized bed centered with a couch on the opposite wall. One dresser and one desk adorning small details. Balcony doors on the opposite end of the room.

Lee Know walked straight to the desk grabbing a bottle of alcohol, two cups, and started pouring drinks. You close and lock the door behind you and walk in his direction.

“Stealing alcohol? Are you always such an inconsiderate asshole? I don’t even know whose house we are in,” you say, reaching the desk and leaning against it, crossing your arms watching his every movement. He slides a glass of alcohol over to you and brings his own up to his pink lips taking a long sip staring into your eyes from above the rim.

“No need to be such a brat. Just shut up and drink. I know the owners,” he scoffs, taking another big sip, mimicking your position, and leaning against the desk only inches away from you. You take the glass he slid over and take a sip. Feeling the much needed warmth and burning down your throat.

“And who would that be?,” you say, taking another sip.

“My parents,” he says casually, causing you mid-sip to choke and start coughing, taken aback by his blunt response and revelation.

“Already choking kitten? We haven't even started”

Fed up with his little comments, you quickly chug the rest of your drink forgetting about the revelation that this was his house and slam the cup on the table before looking at him with such irritation.

“Not even fucking close, but why don't you come over here and make me? Or I'll just call Chan over and let him handle what you never could”

His eyes widened and mouth twitched in rage. In a split second he slammed his own cup down on the table and next thing you know his lips are on yours. His hands roughly grab at your ass as yours quickly find their way to his hair. Nails digging into his hair and pulling on his locks. 

Kissing hard, teeth clicking, tongues rolling over each other and fighting for dominance. You break the kiss and bite his bottom lip tugging on it harshly, almost breaking the flesh. He crushes his lips back on yours in an instant and harshly grabs both thighs and lifts you onto the desk in front of him.

One hand harshly landing on your neck choking you in just the right spot while the other lands on your inner thigh shoving it further open. The cold breeze felt on your now wet panties that were on full display. Dress riding up, legs wide open, all for the man you hate but want to fulfill all your fantasies.

“Tch, little fucking slut, letting me see you like this, so desperate for my touch.” he says, hand tightening on your neck as the other goes to grab your hair harshly making you look up at him in the eyes. 

You laugh and bite your lip staring right back at him.

“You're all bark and no bite”

“Trust me kitten, I know how to bite, but the question is can you handle it?”

“Shut the fuck up and fuck me already” you say, growing even more frustrated, just wanting release.

You thought his stare couldn't grow any darker but god were you wrong. He quickly takes his hands out of your hair and off your neck and grabs you roughly by the thighs as your hands go on his shoulder and he walks you over to the bed and then throws you on it.

Now on your back leaning up on your arms as your legs are spread open for the man in front of you. He slowly takes off his belt and sets it down next to your leg. He then proceeds to slowly zip down his shirt revealing abs and a hot scar you didn't know he had. Hands going to his zipper but stopping in its tracks when he looks at you and tilts his head.

“Be a good girl and take off your clothes right now kitten,” he says coldly.

“Why don't you come over here and make me?” 

He quickly hovers over you grabbing you by the face, fingers tracing your swollen lips harshly.

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god,” he mutters.

“Or what? What are you going to do? Don't threaten me with a good time,”

“You're in trouble now,” he says before grabbing the bottom of your dress and raking it up your body with so much force you swore it ripped before he flung it across the room leaving you in your lace set.

“Look at you all dolled up. Such a fucking whore. Just waiting for someone to fuck you senseless so you can shut that pretty fucking mouth of yours.” he says cupping your wet cunt. A moan leaving your mouth instantly.

He starts kissing and biting on your neck marking you up. Leaving sloppy kisses all the way down to your breasts. Kissing and sucking your hardened nipples through the thin material of your lace bra. Hands slipping under your back as you lift yourself and it's off in no time. His tongue nipping and biting your nipple as the other hand twists and squeezes on the other causing intoxicating pain that you wanted more of. It hurt so bad, but felt so good. Moans leaving your lips as he starts to divert his attention further downwards to your throbbing cunt.

Teeth pulling down the lacy material leaving you completely bare. You barely have time to think as fingers are buried inside of you. 

“Fuck.”

He starts pumping in and out curving his fingers filling you up. His tongue soon meets your clit, flicking the sensitive flesh rapidly. His other hand is making its way to your throat and squeezing tightly. He nibbles on your flesh between licks leaving you a cursing and moaning mess. Lee Know going at a brutal pace as his hand is tight on your throat making you feel light headed and dizzy. Drunk off this feeling alone. Chasing your release you grab his hair and tug it harshly bringing him even closer to your core as the other hand cups his own hand on your throat trying to tighten it even more if it was possible. 

“ri-right there, fu-fuck,” 

As you are about to become undone the pace slows down and he shifts off of you, leaving you a whiny mess.

“Such a filthy slut thinking it would be that easy. You only cum when I tell you too,” he rasps while getting off the bed and quickly taking off his pants and boxers. His hard glistening length bouncing up. Leaving him completely bare as he grabs his black leather belt hovering over you shoving fingers in your mouth. You quickly suck on them and lick them teasing him as he bites his lips in satisfaction. You bite on his fingers harshly getting him out of his trance. Causing him to hiss in pain and grab you by the face again.

“Be a good little slut and get on your knees.”

He lets go of your face and you quickly get on all fours. Face down, back arched, ass up. In  a quick second he twists both of your arms behind your back. Quickly tying them with his belt. Your legs falter a bit not having your arms to hold you up.

“Since you want to be in charge and get all grabby without permission, how about we do it like this instead?” he asks while his hands knead your ass, spreading them wider, and teasing you.

“I want you inside of me… now,” you whine.

“Since you asked so nicely,” 

His tip pokes your entrance, slowly burying his hard length inside of you. So long and thick it's almost unbearable.

“Fuck,” he moans, digging his fingers into your waist. 

“So fucking tight.” he says, hand smacking your ass with so much force. Hissing from the pain as he starts slamming his hips into you. His hard length massages your inner walls. Sounds of smacking flesh and moans bouncing off the wide almost empty room. 

Pounding into you at a merciless rhythm. Face being pounded into the mattress as his hips strike your ass at a brutal pace. Skin heating up and breath hitching as he fucks you into oblivion. Only thinking of the way he fills you up so well. 

A fire filling your abdomen and nerves on fire. You feel yourself losing composure.

“ju-just like th-that. Harder… I-Im close,” you practically scream out.

“fu-fuck. you wanna cum kitten? you wanna cum on my fat cock? such a fucking whore? cumming on the cock of a man she hates? cum on me kitten,”

Your muscles tense, walls fluttering around his cock, as you bite on the bed sheets to suppress your loud moans as you climax. 

Over stimulating your swollen cunt as he still fucks into you frantically. One hand lifting off your waist and going to your wrists undoing the belt and setting your arms free. The same hand grabbing a fistful of your hair and lifting your back flush with his as his hips don't stop rocking into you. 

“Turn around for me. I want you to see my face while I fuck you senseless so that next time you let some one fuck you, you’ll never forget that the man you hate so fucking much is the only one that can fuck you this good. And so I can see how good im making you feel so every time you open that loud fucking mouth of yours and talk back I’ll remember just how undone I can get you.” 

He lets go of your hair and pulls out of your swollen cunt. Still in a daze you turn around and lay down on your back, legs wide open for him. Hovering over you he slams himself back into you. Moaning and grunting at the pleasurable pain. One hand grabs you by the throat as the other holds onto your waist.

Hips snapping and his hard length quickly hit all those sweet spots. Making you flutter against him causing breathy moans and grunts to leave his mouth. 

“sl-slut. letting me fuck you like this. le-letting me ruin you. gonna cum? on my cock? li-like a good little slut?”

Just with those words alone it drives you over the edge. Mouthwatering, intoxicating, and numbing clouds of pleasure take over and you become undone once again on his cock. 

“What a good little slut. Cumming just for me.”

“Fuck you”

He laughs still pounding into you. 

“Sounds like you might actually hate me, kitten. How about you show me how much you really do hate me.”

“Slap me”

Taken aback by his request and the over stimulation on your swollen cunt all you do is bite your lip and look at the man with confusion evident on your face

“I said… hit me kitten.”

Silence.

“Tch. What are you scared of? I knew you were boring. I should of fucked your best friend inste..” sentence interrupted by the brute force of your hand on his cheek.

“fu-fuck you.” he moans loudly, clearly turned on. Breathing loudly as his thrusts get sloppy.

He quickly takes himself out of your cunt and stays on his knees moving to hover his length over your face and frame.

“Fuck kitten. Looks like there really is more to you then you let on huh? Now put those pretty lips of yours to better use like you promised, yeah?”

You lift yourself up as much as you can with his body still entrapping you in. Licking his tip and slowly starting to suck before quickly picking up the pace. Making eye contact as saliva starts running down your chin. His hand coming up and holding the back of your head guiding you as he bucks his hips. His breathing getting even heavier as he brings up his other hand holding your head still as he fucks your mouth. Thrusting his hips at a fast pace. His long length hitting the back of your throat. Choking and eyes watering as you give him what he wants. Getting turned on all over again at how much he's enjoying your warm wet mouth around his length. 

His hips shake as he finishes in your mouth. Swallowing every single drop.

“Fuck kitten. Might have to do this again. Only way I can get you to be quiet.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” you say as you clean yourself up. You get changed leaving without another word not wanting to look at him any longer. 

You weren't sure what would happen next, but two things you’re sure of is that you still hate him and wouldn't mind him fucking the shit out of you again.

disclaimer: my writing is intended for entertainment and does not represent any real person! the names are used for purely fictional purposes!

please reblog and leave a like! feedback is greatly appreciated and it motivates me to write more! I read it all and am so thankful for each of you!

~ masterlist ~

[akascow]

the more posts i see about tua4 the more im convinced none of the writers went back and watched the previous seasons because literally so much is wrong dude HAHA

annoying words under the break and spoilers !!

for starters since when has allison ever helped klaus in the previous seasons🧍🏻‍♀️ it was always diego man. im glad he got to be the fun but very cautious uncle for claire but allison rarely helped klaus with anything except in s2 where they just got drunk together on the kitchen floor HAHA

also lila 'i dont like bracelets' pitts who was already shown making bracelets in 2 (with diego), losing her bracelet at the end of 2, then diego giving it back to her in 3 (and she wore that shit !!) all for it to be thrown away for whatever the fuck happened in the strawberry timeline lol

this ones a throwaway rant but 1) why did none of the fives in that diner experience paradox psychosis and 2) whyd they all look the same lol u cant tell me every five chose to wear the same exact suit with the same haircut (and the same age appearance wise!!)

someone already said this one so dont credit me but five wouldve 1000000% recognized his apocalypse that second he stepped outta that train (by the smell) and would not need to look around for 10 seconds at the debris he spent like 40 years in to clock it as ".....i know this place,, its my apocalypse" lmfao yeah man

not gonna get into this one but raymond "id rather spend a day with you than a year without you" chestnut would never fuckin walk out on allison and claire lol WHAT

anotha one that ppl have already mentioned but ben wouldve told klaus what happened to him when he died right? like he stuck around for 15 years because he wasnt ready to leave his siblings he for sure woulda mentioned it at some point right 🧍🏻‍♀️

and biggest of all (for me bc its been bugging me) but if lila had to be there in the end "otherwise itd just reset again" then why the hell didnt the other oct 1st people need to be there too are we just supposed to forget about them (RAHHH) if the reasoning is that they shouldve never existed (awful reasoning btw) then why do the others get a free pass HUH?? unless theyre like "well the cleanse took over the entire world so they got slorped up too" or "the others died a while ago these 8 are the last marigold kids" which is a stupid cop out and i will not accept it lmao.

also they never went anywhere with reggies alien self HAHA not a problem w me bc i do not care about him at all but like,, why was he an alien (i cant remember if they explained it in the comics but) HAHA whatever man

[girlboybug]

California Gurls

"warm, wet n’ wild, there must be something in the water."

or the one where joel hasn't been to california in god knows how long, but, one thing's for certain. he loves, california girls.

what’s playing 🎧 : california gurls by katy perry

pairing : joel miller x cali!girl reader

word count : 2k

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUTTY HEADCANON LIST, age gap, public sex, light themes of exhibitionism, heavy petting, bikini fetish, is that a thing? it is now. unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampies, oral f!receiving, blowjobs, doggy style, riding, multiple orgasms, dacryphilia, switch coded joel and reader, joel still leans towards top/dom, edging, forced orgasms, drunk/high sex

TRIGGER WARNINGS : umm i honestly can't think of any besides sex under the influence of both alcohol and weed but neither joel and reader are sober so its all around consensual as always :) if i missed anything plz lmk!

a/n : hi baes, im sorry that ive been slacking on uploading, ive been a bit burnt out, and i recently just got a job! so i fear my uploading may become more scarce but i will try my best to not let it get too bad.

ive had this au in mind for awhile n thought a headcanon list would b perfect hehe and i might make it a full fic in the future. i have a very special fic im almost done with and then a few more requests, thank u to those patient ppl who requested it, i promise i havent forgotten abt u!!! anyways sorry this is so long kjjdsjhdjsj plz enjoy and if there is anyway i can make my writing more inclusive pleaaase let me know!

joel didn't even want to be in california, but it was on the way to where him and ellie needed to go, and it was supposed to be just them two passing through, nothing less, nothing more.

but then, and of course there's always a but, on the journey both joel and ellie stumble upon a beach.

a beach with you.

culture shock for joel, like immediately. it's almost like the virus never spread to california, specifically their beaches. girls girls girls, all clad in the skimpiest bikinis and swimwear he's seen in years - or ever actually.

ellie convinces him to stay, just for a little while, and of course, he obliges, begrudgingly. the begrudging feeling and furrow in his brows slowly melts away when he's left to unwind in the warm sand, wandering eyes traveling across the beach's very underdressed inhabitants.

he lets ellie play in the water, he's more than content enjoying the view surrounding him in the sand.

you’re quick to notice the newcomers, instantly excited upon meeting new people

you make it real difficult for joel to maintain eye contact while he talks to you, he feels like he needs to physically hold his eyes in place so they don't drift down to the way your tits spill out your bikini top

he can smell the salty water, the semi sweet and unforgettable scent of sunscreen and a hint of coconut on you, and it's honestly mind numbing

and when ellie begs to stay in california for a bit longer than they planned, he surprises both himself and ellie when he jumps to say yes.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

ੈ✩‧₊˚

you make joel never wanna leave california. when it's dark out, with the beach left empty and void of half naked and sunburnt people, it becomes a space for just you and joel.

he loves fucking you right on the sand, loves setting up your bright pink beach towel across the sandy floors just to push your face down onto it, smushing your cheek until your pretty lips pucker and sob his name when he bullies the fat head of his cock into your fluttering hole.

it was so easy getting joel to crack and fuck you, it didn't take much convincing, if anything, it took more convincing on his part to not bend you over upon immediate introductions. but when he finally lets himself have you, it's all he ever wants to do

it was a massive shock that he could keep up with your stamina, he's like what, 56? and you're a 20 something year old full of life and energy and yet he was giving you a run for your money, almost making you tap out when he forces a third orgasm of the night out of you

he loves to drag his tongue across your skin, loves to sink his teeth into the junction of your neck and shoulder when he fucks you from the back, he loves tasting the remnants of the ocean that lingers on your skin

loves to sneak off with you behind the lifeguard tower, and he loves hearing you plead with him to give you some attention.

he loves to make you beg for it. he loves pushing those tiny bikini bottoms that cover not enough, just to lap and lap and lap, at your soaked cunt.

loves to eat it til you cry, he doesn't stop until you have to push him off. he loves it when he gets to flip you on your tummy, he pulls your hips up and buries his face in your pussy, licking you up until your legs shake and can barely keep you upright, but it's okay, he's always there to keep you in place.

you enjoy feeding his ego when you tell him he's the best you've ever had, which isn't a lie

but the way he forces your knees near your ears when you whine about how his cock is the best, and the way he plunges in so deep you can feel him kiss your cervix, makes you feel like you'd say anything else he wanted to hear to get him to keep fucking you like that

sometimes he just can't keep his hands off you, so he'll pull you away to the secluded part of the beach, and make you ride him

oh you love riding him. you like feeling the slight shift in dominance that occurs when you get on top. you love pushing his chest down, letting his back connect to the sand, tons of little grains getting lost in his hair when you keep him down like that, fucking him the way you like, using his fat cock like your personal toy. 

you don’t care about how sensitive he is, you make him take your tight cunt, he's the one that wanted this, so it's only fair he finishes what he started after all.

it's your turn to only get more turned on when you see his pretty brown eyes line with tears when you're fucking him through his second orgasm back to back.

you're insatiable when you're like this, drunk on his cock, and drunk on the power trip of being in control. you’re unable to stop your hips from rocking down onto his, guiding his fingers to your needy clit.

you lower yourself down to his chest, kissing his freckled shoulders, teeth grazing over his collarbones when he's whimpering in your hair, feeling too much everywhere but he doesn't tell you to stop, he takes everything you give him

loves pulling you into his chest when you've ticked him off, he keeps your back to his front, he spreads your legs and keeps them open with his ankle hooking around your's.

his strong bicep, that you love, keeps you in a loose chokehold, his free hand teasing your soaked cunt, bringing you to the edge of release just to rip it away from you. he loves kissing your sunkissed skin, feeling the warmth from being in the sun all day while he whispers for you to, shut the fuck up and behave.

his fingers circle around your clit, switching between that and burying his thick digits in your aching hole, scoffing when you sigh and whimper in relief when he pushes his middle finger in

doesn't let you finish despite your pleas and cries

he's so mean when he's mad at you. :(

he takes your bikini bottoms, pocketing them away and tossing you his flannel if you're gonna complain that much about being bare even though you're practically naked 99% of the time.

you immediately go home, throw his flannel over a pillow and hump it, trying your best to focus on the scent that wafts from his flannel, and lingers on your skin, pretending the friction you felt was from his fingers

you love getting back at joel, like when you're sitting at the tiki bar, and he's trying his best to converse with your friends

you'll snake yourself in his arms, hopping onto his lap while he sits in the barstool, accidentally letting your wet bikini bottoms soak his drying swim trunks

you also unintentionally squirm around in his lap, 'not realizing' you're grinding your ass right on his hardening cock, looking up at him in faux concern when he starts stuttering and stammering mid-convo

he grips your hips, his fingers digging into your warm skin, silently warning you

you don't heed his warnings, naturally, and instead hop off his lap, announcing to the group that you've decided to go for another session in the water, leaving him to awkwardly swivel his barstool away as to not flash his aching erection beneath his swim trunks to all your friends.

of course joel always gets the last word, he's pulling you away from the water, tugging you along with him by the rocks near the shore the furthest from everyone

little girl is gonna learn today, he mutters to himself, and you have to hide your squeals of excitement, knowing he's gonna fuck you stupid

and that he does, he makes you work for your orgasm, and that’s only if he feels nice enough in the moment 

he has you on your knees in front of him while he leans his back against the sturdy surface of a large rock, his hand resting behind your head while he grunts for you to take every inch of him down your throat 

s’what girls like you are good for, i’nt that right baby? 

your cunt flutters at his words, he always makes you tingly from just speaking 

when he’s about to cum he can never decide which is better, seeing your pretty face covered in his seed or watching you swallow it down without a single flinch 

before you, joel hadn’t done anything like this in like, 20+ years, so when you think you’re done, you’re not. 

his cock stays hard sometimes, and he’s more than willing to use you over and over until he’s satisfied, not that you complain, you’re always so pliable and compliant for him. 

he sits you up, pulls you into his lap and makes you put it in, loves watching his fat cock disappear into your greedy cunt, sucking him in and wrapping around him like a tight glove. 

holds your hips down and keeps you in place while he fucks up in to you, tugs your bikini top down and sucks on your chest, tongue messily dragging all along your salty skin, teasing your sensitive nipples with his teeth 

sometimes he’ll play nice, he’ll rub your sweet little clit, cooing and kissing at your neck and cheek when you collapse in his chest, rutting on his cock while he fucks you through your all consuming orgasm. 

buries his face in your neck to breathe in your scent when he’s close, whispers to you if you’ll let him cum inside, and you always say yes 

grunts a few utterances of your name when he cums in you, he slowly fucks his cum inside you, the wet sound from your grinding bodies turns him on more than he can even describe, addicted to how it feels and how it sounds 

loves to slowly pull out, and watch his cum leak from your hole, loves knowing he’s the first and only one, who gets to do that to you. 

and when he’s at your small place, with ellie being at a girl her age’s place for the night, he unwinds in your bed with you, passing a blunt back and forth

you give him sips from whatever fruity alcoholic drink you’ve concocted that night, giggling mid kiss when you taste the mixture of a mango pineapple drink and weed on his tongue 

and he always gets the munchies on nights like this, but not for food

loves devouring your pussy when he’s high, he’ll make his way on top of you, eyes ablaze, mouth parted with low breaths, eyeing you down like you’re his prey 

you try to tease him by closing your legs, but that’s fine, he can work with that

he grabs your ankles, taking them in one big hand, pulling you down towards him before he lifts your legs up by your ankles, smirking to himself when he pushes your panties to the side and dives in tongue first 

he can eat you out for hours, he’s just so hungry, and he can’t get enough of you

and when you’re shaking, trembling, struggling to breathe, he loves watching the violent jerk your body makes when he pushes his cock inside your messy and soaked hole, loves holding you down while you shake beneath him from your burning orgasms you just had back to back 

fucks you nice and slow, wants you to feel every single inch, and every single vein inside of you, wants you to know who’s fucking you this good

and when he can’t hold off on leaving california any longer, he tries to convince you to come with him. and in the time that the pair has stayed in california, ellie has grown to like you, and naturally joins him in his pleas, begging you to come along with them. 

and as much as you want to go along with them, you can't get yourself to leave. california’s your home, and it could be their’s too, you try to tell them, but you both know where the other belongs. 

when he leaves, he kisses you hard enough that you pray it bruises into your lips for the rest of your life. 

you make him promise to try and come by at least every summer, and with a wide smile, he says he can do that. 

[breezybangtanbebe]

God Damn : Changkyun❤️‍🔥

A/N: (i wrote this like over a year ago and never edited it🙃) Changkyun x reader (1st person), toxic breakup, drinking, angst, raw sex, rough sex. Emotional and smutty...I apologize in advance. 🌚

6.6k words

"I'm really worried about him."

"He hasn't been himself since you left..."

"He's so lost without you..."

"He's not responding to any of us and we can't find him..."

"Please Mira.....you're the only one who knows him like us..maybe even better than us. He'll talk to you."

That last text from Kihyun was the hardest one to ignore because it was true.

I did know Changkyun better than his friends and that was one of the reasons why I left him in the first place.

I was done with him and this fucking city, already packed and in a hotel until the day of my flight came. This place held too many memories for me to remain here after our separation some months ago and the wounds were too fresh to risk the temptation to go back.

It hurts but I can't keep living like this.

Neither can he.

I knew I would find him here though.

He was such a creature of habit that it annoyed me that his friends wouldn't think to look here first.

It never fails.

He was always so easy to predict and sometimes I wish he'd prove me wrong.

Just once.

Maybe this is a setup.

Hmm...

The smoke was thick and blinding in the crowded basement and the bass shook the walls as I descended from the final step. The rain and thunder outside were drowned out immediately by the music and I have to squint my eyes to see through the haze as I stepped through it.

It was a typical Saturday night and the mutual acquaintance and owner of the house was hosting one of his usual boozed-up functions that I admittedly used to look forward to. But we all have to grow up sometime.

I moved through the swaying crowd of people too drunk and high to care about making way for the angry curly-headed brunette searching the crowd. All of them were lost in the rhythm of the music.

And whatever else they were on...

I hoped he would be among the many in the small sea of stoners. Make my life easy just once would you, Im Changkyun.

Fucking pain in my ass.

Eventually, I made my way to the furthest corner of the party which was illuminated by beaming red LEDs. Several booths lined the back wall where a single light bulb glowed above each table. All of them were littered with paraphernalia, hookahs, empty liquor bottles, and ashtrays filled to the brim with roaches (not the bugs) and cigarette butts. The stink of smoke was even more potent here since it was the source and it burned my eyes the closer I got.

That's when I saw him.

I know it was him immediately by the sway of his long unkept hair hanging in his face. His black leather jacket is draped behind him and the bulge of his tattooed bicep flexes beneath his loose white v-neck tee. He sat with his head down, his elbows resting on the table and his hands running through his hair.

He's alone. Thankfully. Or else this would have been thrice as awkward. It was at that moment that I questioned my intentions as I lingered a few feet away.

Why am I here?

I should just call one of his friends and tell them he's here.

Jooheon would be happy to pull up with Hosoek more than likely to take over.

Kihyun would march straight up to him and yank him up by his collar.

Minhyuk would most likely do something similar after cussing him out for worrying everyone.

Hyunwoo would sit and talk some sense into him, convince him to pull himself out of this ditch he'd buried himself in.

Hyungwon would drink with him for a little before convincing him to quit and go home.

They were his friends. They should be the ones to handle him in his ruins. Not me.

I should just call one of them.

I should walk away now.

I should...

I'm about to step back into the darkness of the dance floor but suddenly go stiff when Changkyun lifts his head and for the first time in what feels like forever I see his face.

He seems thinner, his jawline sharper than I remember, and there is a red smudge staining the corning of his bottom lip. That's when I noticed the redness on his knuckles.

The scrapes, bruises, and scars.

What had he done to himself after we went our separate ways? Drinking himself into a stooper aside. What demons had he been battling that I couldn't bear witnessing any longer?

Without thinking about it anymore, I approached him with a fast beating and heavy heart. I'm gonna get him out of here and be done.

For good.

I stand beside where he's seated and wait for him to notice me, hoping he isn't too far gone in the glass of what I presumed to be some form of cognac with no ice.

It only takes a few seconds for Changkyun to lift his head to look up at me with blank eyes. It's as if I was just some random girl blocking the light. But after a few seconds of exaggeratedly slow blinking, his expression changes from indifference to annoyance.

"Amira?" I catch on his lips. Changkyun looks me up and down, studying me in my jeans and coat before lazily locking eyes with me again.

"I'm here to take you home." I raise my voice and the look of irony on my ex's face gives me pause.

"Home...." He slurs with a tsk as he drags his eyes back down to the swirling liquor in his glass.

I furrow my brow at him but choose to dismiss the look of disgust on his face.

"Get up," I say with more urgency, not even bothering to raise my voice. Changkyun scoffs lightly before picking up the short-cut glass set before him on the table.

My face hardened as he ignored me to take a sip of the amber substance, his Adams Apple bobbing as he swallowed.

"I am home so.......Fuck off...." He mumbles, gesturing towards the glass as he sucks in another sip.

He was so stubborn when was drunk.

Definitely NOT going to miss that.

Losing my patience, I reach for the glass before he can take another sip and Changkyun's lightning reflexes seem well intact judging by how quickly he moved the cup from my reach. But in the process, he also underestimates the strength of his grip and the small glass shatters in his grasp.

Broken shards fall over the tabletop, spilling the alcohol all over its surface. No one around reacts to the scene though, leaving only me to witness the frustration in Changkyun's expression.

"God dammit..." I hear him huff and my eyes go wide at the steady stream of blood tricking from his palm. He doesn't seem to notice it though and is staggering to his feet like a drone. I already knew what he was after, a drink to replace that one and I wasn't having it.

"No," I say as I grabbed him by the wrist. Changkyun looks down at my hand then at me and scoffs.

"What are you doing?" He furrows his brow with an arrogant smirk.

"You can barely walk. No more drinking. Let's go." I yell over the music.

"Go home, Mira..."

"I'm not leaving here without you!"

"For fucks sake..."

Changkyun drunkenly scoffs at me again before snatching out of my grasp. I quickly grab his other and it turns into an obnoxious game of snatch and grab on the dance floor.

If I weren't so annoyed and pissed, I would be embarrassed at how childish we must have looked. Standing there playing tug of war with each other. Of course, I was no match for Changkyun's strength but I was sober. This meant my reaction time reflexes and persistence were bound to have him relenting to my will eventually.

It took some convincing and a bit of manhandling on my end to get Changkyun to leave the basement. Thankfully, there seems to be a break in the storm and I glance up at the sky with relief.

At least we wouldn't have to walk in the rain on top of me dragging this drunk ass.

My mood plummets once we reach the sidewalk. Because the moment we're outside and the humid air hits him, I flinch at how Changkyun suddenly moves out of my reach to double over a random trash can.

Ugh.

I rolled my eyes even harder as he wretched into the metal bin, resisting the urge to go to him. To rub his back and stroke his hair. To comfort him through the inevitable.

I don't though.

That wasn't my job anymore.

We stumble up the sidewalk for a few blocks until we reach his apartment building and I get him inside using the code I'd memorized from frequent use over the years. It was now pouring again and we were drenched by the time we stepped inside the building's lobby.

I get him inside and shiver at the chilling temperature from the doorway. As if being soaked to the bone with rainwater wasn't enough. It seemed as though just to vex me, my thoughtless drunk of an ex kept his heat off all day.

"Ugh..." I exhale again. Standing here cussing him in my mind wouldn't get us warm so with me supporting most of his weight, we enter.

A trail of wet shoes and outerwear lay abandoned by the front door and the hum of the heat filling the old vents of his apartment swirl around us as I sat in the living room.

I kept his lights dim and left the TV off as I listened to the rain pattering against the windows.

Changkyun snored softly in the spot I allowed him to plop down on the couch and he'd fallen asleep immediately, his hair and shirt still damp, leaving me on the armchair opposite of him.

There Amira. The job was done.

You can leave now.

Leave him and all of this torment behind you.

I said that to myself as I rose to my feet. Changkyun remained still and sleeping with his face mushed against the cushion, his wet hair fanned out over his head.

Why did he have to be so cute AND such a disaster all at once?

Lightning strikes, spooking me to sit back down on the indented sofa. Then another chill ran over my body despite the warming air, reminding me of the weather I'd be facing again once I stepped outside.

An Uber or cab would cost a bit.

And the metro station was too far to walk to in the rain.

Perhaps I should have thought this through, instead of allowing Kihyun's worrisome ass to convince me to do this.

"Dammit.." I sigh, ultimately deciding it would be best to stay put. Hopefully, Changkyun remained asleep by the time the storm let up enough for me to sneak out of there.

So I stayed, reluctantly, and leaned my head back against the cushion of the sofa.

Between the thunder, the buzzing hum of the heating system in his apartment, and the soft sound of Changkyun's muffled snoring, it wasn't long before my eyes began to roll back sleepily.

"Hey...."

I flinch and my eyes pop open to find Changkyun standing before me in the living room, shirtless with his wild mane sitting messily atop his head.

It looked as if he'd awakened some time ago and taken a shower since he's in different clothes and the clean scent of his shampooed hair is detectable from his proximity.

I gulp as my eyes travel down his body of their own volition but blink away any inappropriate ideas before they can form. I lift my gaze to find him staring at me with the same dark interest.

"You're still here..." he states calmly as I sit up in the seat and he regards me just as soft as his voice as I glance around the room with mild confusion.

It was still dark outside but the storm had eased up significantly.

Damn...

How long was I asleep?

His eyes seemed more sober than they were before he passed out and I looked up at him speculatively.

That's a relief.

"Um...yeah. Must have dozed off.." I mutter, grimacing as I shake the sleepiness away.

Changkyun makes a noise that could have either been a scoff or a snort of humor.

"Yeah. Me too.." he chuckles, but his smile doesn't touch his eyes as it trailed off.

I can't imagine the headache he must have right now.

At his pause, I take it upon myself to continue.

"I stuck around hoping that the storm would let up a bit and dry off. I wasn't trying to..."

"Naw it's cool. You don't have to explain...Shit, to be honest...I don't even remember how I got home. Glad you had something to do with that and not some random..." he chuckles shamelessly and although I know he saying it in a joking manner, I know he is serious.

There's no telling how many women he's brought back here after getting shitfaced.

The thought makes my stomach turn.

"Yeah well...Since you're awake, I should probably get going..." I concede amid his nervous chuckling, preparing to stand and Changkyun immediately lifts his hands to stop me.

"What? No...I mean... it's still raining and it's late. People drive like dick heads over here when it's wet..." he says, his choice of words always colorful.

"It's fine...I didn't drive. I took the train." I said truthfully.

Changkyun frowns at my response.

"You took the train? What happened to your car?" He asks and I go tense.

Oh boy.

"I.......sold it," I answer him, tucking my lips between my teeth as I wait for him to digest the answer.

The two of us hadn't spoken in a while which meant I hadn't made him aware of me moving away, let alone me selling the car he'd spent countless hours working on for free.

Other than it being in my name and me being financially responsible for it, Changkyun put just as many miles and effort into it as if it were his.

"You sold your car..." he deadpans and I nod affirmatively.

Bravely.

Awkwardly.

"Yep. For a really good price to a guy I knew from uptown. I.... can't afford to take it with me so.."

"Oh right! Because you're moving out of the city." Changkyun interrupts me.

The sluggishness in his voice was no longer present, telling me he was for sure sober. But that same hint of disdain and disgust presented itself as he spoke. I open my mouth to respond but he cuts me off.

"Yeah....I know. Kinda saw it on Instagram. The whole "going away party" threads on your friend's stories gave me the clue. Sucks that I couldn't hear the news from you but...ya know." he shrugs sullenly.

I stand there quietly for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"Yeah." is all I can muster and Changkyun scoffs.

"Yeah.." he chuckles breathily, turning away from me as he runs a hand through his hair. I watched him begin to pace slowly, rubbing at the back of his neck and flaunting his bare upper body to the neon glow of the street lights just beyond his apartment window.

"I get it though. Of course you sold it. I mean...why not? You could always just get a replacement. Since that's your way of doing shit anyway. Commit to something, get it all fixed up, and just...walk away from it." He turns on his heel to throw in before turning his back to me again.

His statement stuns me and I'm left speechless as he continues away from me.

I watch his back and the shadows cast against his muscles from the dimness as he walks over to his array of liquor bottles lined up against the back wall of the kitchen counters. He reaches for a half-empty Hennesy, twisting the cap and tipping it back for a hefty sip that's swallowed down like water.

I furrow my brow at the way his shoulders sag in relief as he turns to me.

"You could have told me, you know? Thought we were better than that," he remarks stiffly before he lifts the bottle back to his lips, gazing over its body at me as he takes another sip.

His eyes are expectant and I just stare back, too tired to indulge him.

I sigh heavily and begin patting my pockets to make sure my phone and wallet are still there before spotting my keys on his coffee table.

"The only reason I'm here was because Kihyun reached out." I snatch them up and they jingle loudly as I step around the table. Changkyun frowns at the sound of his friend's name on my lips and narrows his eyes.

"Why the fuck would he hit you up?" he asks and I snort at the bitterness of his question.

"I asked myself the same thing. But he figured I was his last resort in getting in contact with you, seeing as how you've been avoiding everyone and missing work. Believe me, though, I'm starting to wish he hadn't..." I respond honestly breezing past Changkyun in the direction of his guest bathroom.

The only reason I'm able to move so comfortably around his apartment was that Id damn near made it my second home in the duration of our tumultuous relationship.

I wouldn't be surprised if I still had a toothbrush or a box of tampons here.

I flip the light switch, not at all surprised to find Changkyun following close behind and my disheveled reflection staring back at me in the mirror. My curls had dried only a little and my makeup was smudged a tad but not ruined.

"Right..because I'm not your problem anymore." He chuffs, taking another sip and I roll my eyes at his antics as I try to tend to my appearance. I run my fingers through my hair roughly before snatching a paper towel off the roll, dampening it before wiping just below my eyeline.

"You were never my problem Changkyun. The only one here with problems was you." I mutter distractedly, frowning at how difficult it was to wipe away my mascara. My response seems to amuse him and an ironic smirk crosses his face as he leans against the doorway.

"And I'm guessing that's why you left? Me and my problems? Just me though, right? Since you're so perfect..." he asks with a cheeky tone and I hiss irritably as I abruptly turn to face him.

"What choice did I have? What choice did you give me? All we do is fight. It's not healthy for either of us and I'm exhausted. YOU are exhausting. I never claimed to be perfect but you..." I go on and Changkyun nods cynically as I speak.

"Yeah...c'mon. Lay it on me. Tell me how horrible I am despite all the shit I've done for you...I'm the fucking worst right?" He chortles and I can't help but laugh.

"Like I haven't done shit for you! Don't act like that negates the fact that you can't change or that...I don't know...We just aren't compatible anymore. That we've grown apart..."

"I'm not changing for somebody who doesn't know what the fuck they want. Ok?" Changkyun cuts in, jutting his forefingers into his sternum emphatically.

"You're impossible to satisfy Mira! You want me to be someone that I'm not. At least not yet...You put pressure on me to do shit how you want and when I fall short, I'm the bad guy. I never cheated on you. Never put my hands on you..."

"Gee, thanks for the bare minimum of common decency Kyun. I appreciate it." I mumble amid his rambling...

"..when you suggested seeing a shrink, I was open to it.." he continues.

"But did you go?" I tack on and he rolls his eyes.

"That's not the point. You gotta give me time. This shit here? Talking about my feelings...this is new territory for me. You never cut me any slack. You just criticize and jet like you're doing now.."

"Because I'm tired of cutting you slack. I'm tired of waiting...I wanted us to evolve and be better together. I wanted us to live together officially and live healthier and get married and..." I trail off, the words clogging my throat as the heartbreak of feeling rejected by him swell.

For a while, we were fine.

But eventually, I wanted more than what he was willing to give. And he tried to appease me and distract me from the fact that our relationship had hit a plateau.

It took us having a pregnancy scare for me to really see how unprepared he was for us moving forward.

"...but you've made it explicitly clear that that's not what you want." I nearly choke on the sob threatening to break through.

We'd been through this too many times and rehashing it was the last thing I wanted. Changkyun blinked a few times as if he needed to gauge my demeanor before responding.

Then he looked away painfully, grimacing a bit as he rubbed at the back of his neck with a troubled sigh.

"I know...I'm just..not ready.." he mutters, his eyes now on the floor. His jaw tightened and shifted as he contemplated something and I remained in front of the bathroom sink patiently. 

The silence between us was deafening and the longer I gazed at him and his conflicted state, the stronger my urge to cry became.

I love this man.

So much that it hurts to even say it.

Changkyun lifts his head suddenly at the sound of me sniffling and I curse myself for letting a tear escape.

I turn my back to wipe it away with a shaky huff.

"I know. And I'm not waiting for you to be. I can't. I'm just done." I shake my head, avoiding the searing look in his eyes I knew he was giving me.

I sniffle again, scanning his bathroom for the tiny waste bin to discard the charcoal-streaked paper towel and Changkyun stands unmoved in the doorway as I brush past him.

Before I'm clear of him, I feel his hand gripping me by the wrist.

I pause, anticipating the inevitable. Another condescending remark to get a rise out of me, provoking me to engage in more back and forth. Feeding his selfish need to drain me until I was as empty as he felt.

But to my surprise, he says nothing.

At his silence, I turn to find him staring at our now intertwined fingers sadly.

His brow creased painfully and the muscles in his jaw tensed as he bit back the urge to cry, the urge that glistened in his hooded eyes.

"You can't be angry at me for not wanting what you want when you want it," he repeats and I roll my eyes, pulling my hand from his with little effort. He doesn't try to stop me from withdrawing despite us moving like magnets. He drags behind me to the living room mindlessly.

"I'm not doing this...." I mutter as I scan the room as if I'd forgotten something.

"You're here, so you are. We..are doing this." He grits, his tone making me turn on my heel to face him with the full intention to cuss and give him exactly what he wanted.

But the way he glares into me with broken eyes and his sullen shoulders, I'm rendered silent.

"We could have worked this out but instead you did what you always do when shit gets tough. Run away.." he closes the distance between us tentatively, his voice shaking as he spoke.

I shake my head at the conviction in his voice, knowing we were at an impasse.

"Right.." I chuckle before wiping my eyes one more time. I lift them to match his glare intensely.

"And you go and do what you always do when you can't take accountability for shit. Go and find solace at the bottom of a liquor bottle until you're painting the floor with it."

I know the words a daggers to him when he narrows his eyes.

"And you're such a saint." Changkyun tuts his brow arrogantly at me.

Yes. There was a time when getting black-out drunk and high was considered a good time. And those horrible habits were the reason Changkyun and I bonded. Mutual interests evolved as did our relationship and loving him made being under the influence less necessary.

"Well, it's a good thing we ended things right? Since we're so different..." I shrug and Changkyun scoffs, looking away with his tongue sticking through the skin of his cheek. When he looks back, it's with a look that always used to make my core tighten.

"I didn't end shit." he insists, narrowing his eyes at him darkly.

"I know."

"Exactly. So stop acting like I wronged you in all of this. Stop acting like I'm the one who broke your heart, Mira."

The tears were flowing freely by now and I neither had the will or strength to resist them anymore. Eyes rimmed red and shining, I let out a laugh that morphs into a muffled sob.

"I had to. Don't you understand? For the sake of my sanity, I had to walk away because I was not going to sit back and watch you destroy yourself. To watch us destroy each other. I loved you too much to continue this. I tried but I just couldn't. I had to be done."

"What if I'm not?"

"Kyun..."

"I don't wanna be done."

He stares at me blankly for a moment, his eyes reading the way I avoided his with a melancholy smirk.

Suddenly Im inhaling the malted mix of cognac and mint as he grabbed me at the back of my neck, pulling me forward so that he could rest his forehead against mine.

His eyes bore into mine, dark as obsidian and just as hard. The tip of his nose brushes mine and he tilts his head so his words are painted against my lips in an exalted exhale.

"And neither do you.." he mouths, our parted lips sharing a desperate breath for a moment before one of us gives in.

And it's him.

It's always him.

The darkness in his eyes was sinful when he pulled away and I'm ashamed to have been the one chasing his lips a little when he did.

His presence was more intoxicating than any liquor I ever consumed.

The way neon lights from beyond the window blinked against the side of his face, highlighting his chiseled features as he walked me back until I was pressed flat against the wall of his living room.

"Kyunnie?" I stammer as he pressed against me, pinning me to the concrete grey-painted wall, kneading my nape as he tipped his head back just enough to see my face.

His eyes danced with mine for a moment, both of us hesitating and searching for something in the other.

"You hate me, don't you?" He asks.

"I never said that..." I attempt to respond but he shakes his head.

"You never had to..." he cuts me off, his eyes falling to my lips. Without a shred of hesitation, he leans in and kisses me again.

Harder.

More fervently.

Hennessy and desperation lingered on his tongue but he didn't kiss me as if on a drunken impulse. He kissed me as if his life depended on it. Sloppy and frantic. Our teeth clashed at moments as our tongues fought and our voices melded into a melody of muffled moans.

What the hell was happening...

A few minutes ago I was ready to walk away from this part of my life. Ready to end this chapter and close the door on the man who knew better but wouldn't do or be better.

Toxic wasn't even the word.

His mouth parts from mine and he trails sloppy desperate pecks down from my lips to my neck.

My weakness.

The moment his lips grazed my skin, chills ran over my entire body, and Changkyun wasted no time in taking my flesh between his teeth. His hard body felt hot against mine and I wasn't sure if it was his heartbeat I felt through my clothes or my own. But what I did know was that I needed him.

In more than just a physical sense.

I needed him all over me.

On top of me.

Inside me.

His tongue swipes over the series of love bites he placed on my skin and I moan his name needingly. I feel him smile against me and chuckle softly before sucking a mark over my pulse.

He knew he had me the moment he sunk his teeth into my skin. Im putty in his hands and anything he desired was his as long as he was willing to fulfill mine.

Seconds later, we're falling back against his couch with me straddling his waist and him ripping my clothes off. It was not long before Im naked and gazing down at the length of Changkyun's dick standing up in his grasp.

He bites his lip, dragging his hooded gaze up my body as if he'd never seen it before.

Or as if he believed he'd never see it again.

He squeezed my hip with his other hand, encouraging me to grind my hips against him a few times before rising to my knees.

Wordlessly, he guides me down to sink into me slowly. A slow hiss blows between his teeth before his jaw goes slack and my eyes flutter shut in ecstasy at the slight sting.

It felt like forever since I'd had him inside me but it couldn't have been long enough for me to forget how he stretched me. I moan shamelessly with my head thrown back, my waist already whining against him and Changkyun reaches up to tangle his fingers with the hair at my nape.

He pulls me forward, forcing me to look at him as he buries himself as deep as I'll allow him.

"Fuck me baby...fuck me like you fucking hate me.." Changkyun demands, the growl in his deep raspy voice driving me wild with emotion and lust.

I obey immediately, placing my hands on the back of the couch for better support. I slowly roll my hips back and forth to find my rhythm, using my lower body strength to bounce on him. Every movement pushes him deeper and I soon lose myself completely in how good he felt.

Like he was made for me.

My moans soon drowned out the sound of our skin slapping together, the wetness and stimulation pushing me closer to climax.

It never took long for Changkyun to make me cum. He knew my body that well and at times I resented it. He was arrogant with the power he held and it's shown in the amusement written all over his face right now.

His brow is perked and his eyes are fixed on my face, relishing in the painfully pleasured expression of my impending orgasm as he bucked his hips to drive himself exactly where I needed him.

When my legs begin to shake, he smiles and fucks into me faster until a rush of release spurts out and around his dick. My warmth and wetness surrounded him like a waterfall, and he fought against the current effortlessly as I cried out.

"Oh my god.." I drawl out and Changkyun silences anything else I might have said by pulling me in by the neck to kiss him sloppily.

He hugs me against him, holding me in place as his hips continue to roll upwards and stroking me slowly as we kiss.

"I changed my mind..." I mutter against his lips and he hums questioningly.

"I do hate you..." I finish, his only response being a cruel chuckle that makes my walls clench around him.

"Fuck, Mira..." he whispers, taking my bottom lip between his teeth. I pull back slowly, allowing the flesh to stretch before he releases it with reluctance.

I attempt to untangle myself from him but his embrace only tightens with resistance.

Before I can question him, Changkyun grunts as he stands with his arms hooked beneath my legs. My eyes widen in surprise to find his hardened gaze fixated on where were still connected, biting his lip and bouncing my body against his dick.

This angle was even more torturous as it not forced him deeper, but the constant feel of me pounding against him had my clit throbbing from the friction. Not to mention the fact that he held me up and fucked me like this for a while, reminding me of how strong he was physically.

I almost feel like I can't breathe and my voice is hoarse from moaning. I most likely came again. Or a few times. I wouldn't be able to tell. I can barely see since tears still blurred my vision from before and I had no choice but to be at the mercy of my ex and his determination to prove a point.

Though, I had no idea or care of what it was.

"You hate me? Hmm...you hate me?" He grunted in time with his hard strokes, still holding me up in his arms.

I mumble his name endlessly and amidst a string of breathy moans.

I do hate him.

Hate him for ruining all men for me after this.

Hate him for always fucking me..making love to me..like his life depended on it.

Hate him for branding himself on my damaged soul so that every time I closed my eyes, my heart projected his face against the blank walls of my mind.

Hate him for giving me no choice other than to love him.

Fuck, I love him.

Changkyun pauses to step briskly with me still in his hold, nudging his already open bedroom door away for us to enter.

A chill ran over my skin as he stepped deeper into his room. The scent of his cologne and bed sheets trigger memories I fought to forget and I gasp when the softness of his them grace my back.

He doesn't waste another second.

He spreads me wide, keen eyes on where his dick still split me and a thick stream of saliva drips from his tongue and onto the point where we met.

As if it was needed.

I just think he got harder at the idea of stuffing me with as much of his DNA as he could.

And I hate to admit how hot it was.

"Kyun.." I sigh and his eyes snap up to my begging eyes as he sinks into me.

His hips rock my body higher on the mattress and his solid arms cage me against his chest as he fucked me.

Slowly.

Purposefully.

It wasn't hurried and frantic like before.

He curled into me and stroked my warm velvety walls with a gentleness I'd missed from him.

He savored me.

On his lips. On his tongue. In my sex.

Changkyun made love to me like a man stroking against a current, fighting his way to shore.

He fucked me as if it pained him not to.

I felt his lips kissing the shell of my ear as he whispered my name.

Over and over.

I can tell he's unraveling and that the moment is limited.

I held him against me, my nails scraping over his back as he rocked into me faster and harder, making me gasp.

I needed him.

Maybe not beyond this moment or these four walls.

But I needed him now in any way I could.

He'd barely pulled out in time before he spurts himself all over the face of my pussy, hiccuping my name against my throat as he came.

He strokes himself slowly, squeezing the final few drops of cum over my pink folds before pressing his dick back inside of me.

He's still rock hard and my slicked walls welcome him in with zero resistance.

I brace my hands against his hard biceps as he sank deeper inside of me to the hilt, the tip of him pressing as far as it would go. He flexes his hips and pushes himself impossibly deep.

So deep that I can feel our pulses throbbing between us.

So deep that it was as if he was yearning to touch a part of me that he never felt. A part of me that would be our saving grace and keep the withering connection between us alive.

But all I felt was pain.

Sweet.

Somber.

Sobering.

Pain.

"Changkyun...." I whimper beneath him and he eases back an inch with a heavy sigh as he lays his full weight over me.

He rests his face in the crook of my neck and I feel his warm touch caressing my face. His thumb swipes over the apple of my cheek, sweeping over the trail of tears that still flowed from my eyes.

For a while we just lay there, leveling our labored breaths and staring into the sepia tone of his darkened apartment bedroom. I feel myself drifting asleep until the deep vibrations of Changkyun's tired voice pull me back up.

"Hmm?" I rasp and he sniffs and swallows the hard lump of emotion in his throat, hugging our naked bodies tighter together.

"I don't blame you...for hating me." He says shakily, sniffling again. If it weren't for his grip on me and my fatigue, I would have pushed him away just enough for me to see his face.

I furrow my brow and contemplate what I could say to him in response. Just to ease the pain in his voice a touch because I did love him that much.

But...

"I hate me too..." he adds on, squeezing me again.

Changkyun turns his face so that that his nose brushes against my nape and his shuddering breath against my skin makes me shiver.

He cries there for a moment and the weakened tone of his light sobs pull me down into the abyss with him. I say nothing though. Knowing anything I could say would either sound patronizing or enabling.

Or a like a lie.

And I just couldn't do it anymore.

But God Dammit if it didn't hurt.

"I'm sorry." He whipsers after his silence sets a pause in his tears. The words sound painful for him to say and for some reason, my heart ached.

This changed nothing. He was still who he was and so was I. As much as we loved each other, it would never be enough.

"Me too. " Is all I can manage to say and I tangle my fingers in the sweat-damp hair at his nape, stroking his scalp with my fingertips soothingly as we both lay motionless.

Still connected in the only way we could be.

🥵

[honeybeefae]

Valentine's Mini Fic // Rhysand

Please idk why these fics have started off with angst but I guess im just a sucker for a little hurt and comfort. Either that or I enjoy the drama lol! Enjoy the second mini-fic featuring our favorite High Lord! < 3 

WARNINGS: None

Trope: Fling Turns Into Something More

Sneaking around with a High Lord’s son was thrilling and dangerous, never knowing what exactly you would get led into but always willing to jump head first. Rhysand and you had met during a night out in Velaris, with both of you being almost too drunk to remember going home with each other. 

However that next weekend you both ended up in the same bar, with the same people, and for the last two months you’ve been seeing each other almost every other day. He had made it clear that it was a fling, never staying the night and never crossing the line from casual to something more.

And you couldn’t lie…the longer you saw him, the harder it got. You knew, you knew, you couldn’t have him. He was the next ruler of the Night Court, destined for greatness, and you were just one of his subjects. Your family wasn’t affluent in the political world, you held no real power.

It was doomed from the start but you couldn’t resist him. He had you from the moment he called you “Darling” in that deep, smooth tone. You were head over heels for a man who would forget you as soon as he ascended to his full potential. Reality was a hard pill to swallow but you’d rather have small moments than nothing.

Tonight was no different as you waited at the bar, swirling a cocktail around and around as your eyes kept glancing to the entrance. He was late but you didn’t stress, finishing the rest of your glass while making small conversation with the bartender.

But after your third drink and still no signs of him, you got worried. Had something happened? Was he in trouble? The questions were swirling around in your tipsy mind as you slid out of the barstool and manuevered through the crowd to get outside.

The cold air wrapped around you like a caress, sobering you up some as you started to look around for Rhys. There were small groups scattered across the road and alleyway but none of them had him lurking within them. You frowned and continued down the street, trying to convince yourself that everything was okay.

“Oh come on Rhys, you wouldn’t have entertained me this long if you weren’t interested.”

You stopped in your tracks when you heard the sultry voice say his name, a terrible feeling growing in your stomach as you continued to listen.

“Sarra, darling-” Rhysand grunted, trying to get around her as you got closer. You could make out two figures, one much smaller than the other, pressed against a brick wall. The lamplight above your head provided just enough light to watch as her long, red nails ran down his chest.

“Don’t give me that look, darling. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you…I know you’ve missed me.” Sarra purred, molding her body against his. It made you physically sick.

Rhysand wasn’t yours, he never was, you told yourself that every single night…so why did it feel like your heart was bleeding out onto the wet cobblestone? 

A sob was trying to work its way out of your throat as you stepped back, scuffing your shoe and drawing the attention of the male who, for the first time since meeting, you did not want to see.

“Y/N?” Rhys called, furrowing his brows. You drew in a shaky breath and shook your head, cursing as a tear fell while you started making your way back home. 

“Damn it, Y/N! Y/N!” He shouted, pushing off the woman without a care and following after you. The people in the streets were watching, whispering to each other, but he didn’t care. “Y/N, stop!”

You ignored him, the image of the two of them burned into your eyes as you picked up the pace. It was only a few more steps to your door and luckily the streets were becoming more crowded, making losing him easier. 

But just as you unlocked your door and slipped inside, you felt a cool breeze wisp past you at the same time the smell of citrus hit your nose. A loud sigh blew past your lips as you shut the door, turning to glare at the next High Lord with all the contempt you could muster. 

However, when you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror on the back wall, you looked pitiful instead. 

“What you saw out there-” Rhysand began but you held up your hand, closing your eyes briefly to take a deep breath.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Rhys.” You whispered, removing your shoes and coat. “I mean, you said from the start that this was casual. It’s silly of me to expect loyalty for a casual fling, right? We were always both free to do, to see whoever we wanted.”

His jaw was clenched as you brushed past him to your kitchen, grabbing a glass of water to calm down your racing heart. This was probably the last time you were going to see him and despite your true feelings, you didn’t want to end this on a bad note.

“Y/N…” He tried again, frowning as your hand shakily brought the glass of water to your lips. “That woman was someone I used to see, I was on my way to you when she stopped me.”

“Rhys, please,” You asserted, staring down at the counter. “I told you I understood. You can go back to her, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Are you?” 

The question, the sincerity in his voice, it broke what little resolve you had left. Why did he care? What did it matter anymore? You should’ve told him to leave, should’ve never gotten so involved with him.

Your heartbeat pounded in your ears as wave after wave of emotions washed over you. Rhys knew, his concern growing as the silence stretched and you didn’t so much as blink. He cautiously walked over to you and gently grazed your shoulder, calling out to you, and the dam holding everything back cracked.

“Why do you care?” You snapped, whirling around with hot tears stinging your eyes.  “This entire relationship you made it clear it was never more, that it could never be more. What do my feelings matter to you?”

“They have always mattered to me. How could you think they didn’t?” He insisted, pinning you between the counter and his body so that you couldn’t escape. “Do you think me that cruel?”

“I think of you as a High Lords' son, the future ruler of the Night Court. I think of us, of all the nights where you’ve left me alone after we’ve had our fun, and I think of how naive I am to wish for more.” You replied, the truth heavy on your tongue as you made eye contact with him for the first time that night. “My feelings shouldn’t matter to you. I knew what this was when I got into it. I knew one day it would come crashing down, that it might destroy me, and I thought I could handle it.”

Rhysand’s eyes filled with pain, his thumb brushing away a tear that was rolling down your cheek. You wanted to push him away, not wanting to fall any deeper in love but your heart knew you were already at rock bottom. 

“I wish I could say this was a mistake but despite how much I’m hurting…I know I will never regret knowing you, Rhysand. If this is how our story ends, if this is goodbye, please end it happily.”

You steeled yourself for the goodbye, biting down on the inside of your lip to try to keep yourself from breaking until he was gone, but were taken off guard when he bent down and claimed your lips in a soft, passionate kiss.

His hands landed on your waist, his chest warm against yours as your lips molded perfectly against his own. You couldn’t stop your arms from wrapping around his neck, savoring his unique taste and the comfort his embrace brought you.

The two of you stayed locked together for several moments, time seeming to stop around you until he pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against yours. 

“Do you think I could kiss someone like that if I didn’t harbor feelings for them as well, Y/N Darling?” Rhys breathed into your ear, drawing small circles into your hips. “What we have between us…it has grown into something that has consumed my every waking moment. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you but I was afraid…”

“Afraid?” You questioned, your heart soaring at his words. It felt like this was all a dream but if it was, you didn’t want to wake up. You would gladly stay in this dream world with him forever. “Afraid of what?”

“What being mine would entail, the danger of my world.” His breath was warm against your cheek, those violet eyes staring into your soul. “I had half convinced myself you were better off without me…until I realized that I have been falling for you since the night we first met.”

Your hand came up and cupped his cheek, a small laugh bubbling out of your chest at the absurdity of his statement. Rhysand, the next ruler of the Night Court, was in love with you? You were truly going to have to pinch yourself all over.

“You cruel thing, do not laugh at me.” He smirked, tilting your chin up so he could look at you. 

“I’m not laughing at you, my lord.” You teased, gazing up at him through your lashes. “I’m laughing at this situation, I feel like I’m in a dream.”

“Well, I can promise you that you are not. Perhaps we can go upstairs and I can show you just how awake you are?” 

You grinned, rolling your eyes at his antics. The rollercoaster of emotions you had just been on had you feeling fatigued but you couldn’t resist his offer. There was just one thing you needed to hear again.

“Perhaps…but I want to hear you say it again.” You asked softly, playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. 

Rhysand smiled lovingly, lifting you onto the counter so you were eye to eye. “Y/N Darling…I love you.”

Your heart was on its way to bursting out of your chest as you captured this memory in your brain, knowing you would replay it for the rest of your life. You kissed him fiercely, mumbling the same words back to him between kisses, as he carried you up the stairs and into bed.

[just-jae]

"Apology Tour"

Helluva Boss in respects to the episode "Apology Tour", demonstrates an overt shift in storytelling that not only went far out-of-character, but handled their portrayal of a toxic relationship, ironically in a toxic way.

To start, Im aware that the show has had storytelling flaws, and have since moved on and accepted that it's ultimately unplanned story subject to retconns (Such as with Moxxie, Stella, Octavia and Stolas) as well as just not going in any particular direction sometimes, especially given these are relatively new characters and personalities, and a story started as a small side-project with only one planned season, compared to Hazbin Hotel, who's characters have been in development since Viv was a kid, whom she had a clear and set vision for by the time Hazbin Hotel started production.

That being said, these past few episodes give me an impression that the focus of their story is shifting, due to the lacking cohesion between prior setup and Apology Tour and the one-sidedness in this episode's story, even if we only rely on the show's content for context.

They set up that Blitz is self loathing, having developed a deep-seated self hatred after causing the death and traumatization of people he cared about, internalizing other's opinions, effectively having given up on being the person he wants to be and considering himself a failure in that regard.

But, its not just self loathing, as Apology tour insists so strongly. Its also disillusionment with love. Blitz once knew love in the form of his mother, Fizz his best friend, and (maybe) his sister at least into his pre-teen years. He even attempted to confess feelings for Fizz with a letter on his birthday, and still cares about his sister enough to go look for her when she leaves the insane asylum.

He nearly believes Stolas's texts and his words in Full , because that's who he is at his core, someone who loves and longs to be loved, but convinces himself that Stolas doesn't actually mean what he says, and thus acts accordingly. Somewhere along the line he learned that "It's an act" after being betrayed, abandoned, or otherwise hurt by people he trusted with his heart. People like his father, Fizz, exes, or even people he set up performance act for, whom ultimately rejected him-- hence why he gave up.

"You tried a solo act, it didn't work out so well."

Unlike Stolas, who, since birth has been raised by emotionally distant, fake people who pretty themselves up despite being rotten and who "pretend to want to fuck his scrawny twig-ass" (his wife btw) because they have to. Honestly, I don't know why he'd consider his relationship with Blitz to be any better than his wife's.

Because they were drunk the first time i guess >=>… Seriously was that episode even canon--

Blitz went into the room already certain that Stolas was getting bored and about to cut him off, making efforts to appeal to Stolas-- a guy whom he considers an unpleasant chore to be around, insisting "I can do better". He even begs, that he'll do anything with DESPAIR -- as if expecting to be even more uncomfortable just to maintain their arrangement. And this moment shows clearly that Blitz never wanted to do any of the stuff their "relationship" is built on. He's there because those are the terms Stolas set for being allowed to use his book.

"Once a month, you return the book to me, followed by a night of passionate fornication!" Stolas, as usual conveniently ignores that this is the situation Blitz has been in since they met and proceeds to act like Blitz is the jackass for hating him AFTER ADMITTING THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP was "NOT RIGHT". Blitz doesn't even initially steal from Stolas (when they're children) because he wants to, but because his dad is making him do it.

In Full Moon, Blitz snaps and goes on a rant about "Everything you've put me through" and how people like Stolas have tended to treat people like Blitz, because just as Stolas feels hurt, Blitz has also been hurt, as much as he tries not to be, such as the sentiment he expressed in "Ozzy's" (Which, btw was their last serious on-screen conversation), that Stolas has made him feel used more than anything. Even if Blitz initiated their arrangement, Stolas trying to make it an emotional relationship feels like a lure to be hurt, and having to reject that offer, especially after seeing a genuinely loving relationship, also forces Blitz to verbalize WHY he rejects the offer, being that at no point has Stolas done anything but sexualize Blitz and disregard his own disinterest and discomfort, which has been apparent throughout the serise.

Blitz has, up until this point, made it blatantly clear that he hates having sex with Stolas, and avoids doing so unless he needs to maintain access to the Memoir.

Blitz has been completely transparent about how he feels about their relationship from the get-go.

ALL that being said, it's becoming apparent that "Apology Tour" marks a noticeable shift in the storytelling style, where the writers are starting to portray specific unrelated life experiences through these characters, even if it doesn't line up with the situation set up by previous episodes.

In apology tour, Blitz not only doesn't take Stolas' breakoff seriously, but doesn't even believe that Stolas genuinely doesn't want to fuck anymore (despite having started the episide thinking he was getting bored, and having a history of breakups). And even exhibits behaviors of being possessive of Stolas, going over to his house to insist on nothing being different, getting angry when Stolas kisses another guy, even claiming that he "Stole" his bird.

In apology tour he's angry at Stolas, not for putting him in an emotionally vulnerable position, but for being emotionally vulnerable and rejecting his sexual advances, which felt not-only OOC as fuck for Blitz but resembled traits of a narcissist more than someone who was self loathing or emotionally insecure. He even says shit like "Stolas always wants to talk to me" as if suddenly he can't fathom that someone doesn't like him or doesn't want to be with him rather than the opposite mindset that's been set up throughout the series.

Apology Tour wants to tell a story of projected self loathing, but uses experiences with narcissistic tendencies to do so, through a character that, prior to this specific episode was anything BUT, and whom specifically had a history of initiating breakups SPECIFICALLY because he didn't think people actually loved him and were just luring him in to be hurt (or because he was predicting things were starting to go downhill and just decided to be to first to jump ship).

I can tell this episode is a depiction of personal experiances with breakups from certain kinds of toxic relationships, but the entire time these characters didn't feel like themselves but other people in their skins.

What bothers me, specifically, is that in sympathizing so one-sidedly with Stolas, Apology tour villainizes Blitz, and disregards the mistreatment HE'S endured from Stolas, suddenly blaming him for Stolas's insecurities and heartbreak when AT NO POINT did Blitz ever pretend to like their arrangement or be interested in Stolas. AT NO POINT were they ever even in a relationship. It was a transactional fucking that STOLAS required for Blitz to use the book. Stolas catching feelings doesn't obligate Blitz to suddenly put his own heart on the line, especially when he's already vulnerable in that he relies on Stolas for his business to operate.

STOLAS HIMSELF admits that their relationship was transactional in FULL MOON. AGAIN, Stolas was the one who made sex the requirement for getting the book in the first place when he could have just been lending Blitz the book without that.

This whole time STOLAS has been the one controlling the terms by which their relationship is maintained, and never made an effort to pay attention to how Blitz felt about it until Blitz actually told him no, even then he completely disregards the obvious vulnerability and fear of being hurt to focus instead on Blitz's self loathing.

"Why cant you just open up to me--someone who's talked down to you multiple times, litterally called you a plaything, needlessly disregarded your boundaries and discomfort, and who exploits your need of me for sex-- and just admit that you hate yourself?? I've tried so hard to be nice to you since the first time you refused to do what I want! Why aren't you giving me what I want?"

Like. TF? How is Blitz the bad guy here?

This could have been remedied just by swapping the character's roles.

Stolas should have been the one portrayed as a clingy, emotionally deaf asshole, (That he's been since his first appearance), who struggles to comprehend genuine love and actually being loved-- as opposed to Blitz who's just afraid of loving and self-punishing.

Blitz should be the one who's catching a break here.

An alternative approach to this story: Blitz realizes there's another way to get to the living world, and warily asks Stolas to help him get it, even offering to keep banging afterward as thanks, or, taking a risk that maybe Stolas genuinely cares about him. Stolas is too insecure to actually choose to give Blitz that freedom and potentially never see him again, and/or take him seriously at first because he's so sure everyone's happy with the current arrangement-- an arrangement that, frankly he's familiar with after living with his wife for years.

Maybe this could reveal that Stolas just felt that, being used/needed (for the memoir) was the only way he was even going to get close to something resembling a relationship and just hesitated a bit too long, causing Blitz to quickly back out and go for the crystal himself. Then maybe Stolas shows up to help anyway and they have a similar conversation as in Apology tour, without the made-up "we all hate this guy, its all your fault, you're the shitty one" party that, if anything just reinforced Blitz's self loathing.

Seriously. The dude's even a better dad than Stolas is-- he actually pays attention to Loona, and is capable of loving her and interacting with her even when she's a dick bc he's used to people being dicks and not kissing his ass when they're not drunk-- unlike Stolas.

So why does Apology tour make the entire situation Blitz's fault and make him soley responsible for their and EVERY "relationship's" failure? Why isn't Stolas made to confront or even acknowledge the way he's treated Blitz up until Ozzy's? (except for some flirting in a filler episode and some texts on a phone)

Why does the show make it BLITZ's obligation and responsibility to be sensitive to Stolas's feelings and vulnerabilities and to be vulnerable to Stolas after a majority of their relationship BY STOLA'S OWN ADMISSION has been transactional with Blitz being the one reliant on Stolas and therefore having an unfair power dynamic?

Because its not their story, they're being used to tell someone else's story.

Stolas sure does prop himself up as making efforts to be kind and loving pretty often. I guess that's why his daughter hates him so much and feels unloved and abandoned, why Blitz never felt loved by him, and why we literally see Stolas abusing and bossing around imps that work for him, if not talking down to them like he does to Moxxie and Millie.

I can accept that the show is veering more toward using the characters to tell personal stories, and that the change is probably going to cause a loss of serial cohesion, but this was such poor way to handle the relationship and dynamic between these two characters and is infantilizing and glorifying Stolas as a pure -of-heart sweetie way too much.

Because we even saw before, that when when they're just cuddling, Blitz adores it. He likes the idea of a relationship, and having someone to hold, in a non-sexual way but can't let himself actually be vulnerable, especially not with people like Stolas who talk down to and take advantage of his reliance in order to maintain access to an asset they need to run their business.

This was careless. It's like watching a truck full of baggage veer across several lanes to make a last-minute exit onto a different highway and spill half of its bags all over the road in the process.

I had a problem before when they tried to portray Stolas as a kind and caring father who's done nothing to earn his daughter or spouse's spite. And I have a problem now when they try to blame and villainize the person who had less power in a relationship and has been shown not only being mistreated and used but capable of loving and respecting others, as shown with his relationships with Loona and Moxxie, and emotional vulnerability even when they don't want to be.

I do appreciate that they're putting in effort to portray painful personal experiences, but for fuck's sake at least review the history of the characters you use to tell the story before you go and blame someone in the LOWEST CLASS OF SOCIETY who RELIES on the other MUCH MORE POWERFUL person for FINANCIAL STABILITY and whom ALREADY PANDERS to SEXUAL DEMANDS AGAINST THEIR OWN PREFERENCE for the failure of a NON EXISTANT RELATIONSHIP and FOR NOT LETTING THEMSELVES BE VULNERABLE WITH SOMEONE THEY ULTIMATELY DONT TRUST.

I was actually rooting for them to finally break tf up because it's toxic af, and they somehow managed to make me hate it.

Literally they could have just swapped their roles and made the story make a lot more sense based on the setup, but No, Stolas is the sweet and innocent romantic one that needs saving and Blitz is the tough, cold hearted, reads hand, clingy jealous ex with narcissistic tendencies… for this one episode…

-----

Okay upon looking into it further it looks like a lot of the mismatch between what Stolas says and what Stolas does is intentionally him being in his own head. I really wish they would make that clear instead of Blitz being portrayed as such an ass-- like more assholish than usual, having an entire party of people who hate his guts in particular as if he's somehow worse than the average hellspawn, and having Blitz not refute most of the criticisms Stolas throws at him.

Like, the most Blitz has to apologize for is blowing up at Stolas for trying to help him, but. That's all he did, yelled. He even waited for Stolas to reply and even tried to apologize. So. Idk, if they're really gonna chalk all this up to "It's Stolas being in his own head" they-- I want them to come down so hard on his ass after this.

[juyomiao]

take the chance - ricky

ricky x gn!reader

genre: fluff !!! , best friends to lovers

word count: 791

warnings: ENGLISH ISNT MY FIRST LANGUAGE!! so theres going to be mistakes !!! , alcohol consumption but its barely mentioned , is it considered underage drinking if it'd only be considered as underage drinking in countries where the drinking age is above 18/19 ,, (i feel bad for u if u r from any of those countries fr)

note: first actually written work im kinda # nervous my writing skills r .. definitely writing !! this is cringe cliché and based on a dream i had like a month ago . yes im a lesbian yes i dream abt kissing ricky thats completely normal . (friends dont read this i want to disappear rn as i speak)

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You've been to countless parties since the half of the previous school year when your best friend Ricky became popular out of nowhere. You still don't know where that popularity came from, he's always been good looking, it's not like he had some kind of glow up.

Sometimes you think it's more of a curse than a blessing, with all the times you've been dragged to a party you were not invited to because Ricky, being the introvert he is, refuses to go anywhere without you and, consequently, getting dirty looks from everyone for tagging along and 'leeching' off of Ricky's popularity.

Even now, when people have more or less come to terms with the fact that you two are a package deal, you still despise parties, only appreciating a few things about them, like drinking for free and… nothing else, really.

It's not like Ricky enjoys them either, he'd rather stay home with you and watch some romance drama as you eventually fall asleep with your head on his shoulder. But it's not like he can reject every single invite thrown at him. So you two came to a compromise: one weekend at a party, one weekend at your house.

The boredom of awkwardly standing in a corner as you silently watch yet another drunk couple make out, careless of the countless other people surrounding them, soon gets to you, and you blurt out a question.

"Have you ever kissed someone?"

Ricky's calm expression falters for a second, his eyes widening. He just hopes the dimly lit room is hiding the blush creeping on his cheeks.

He's your best friend, how do you not know?

Well, Ricky is a private person and, even having known him for years, he barely talks about his romantic life, so you've never dared prying into it.

"Of course," he says, after composing himself "You?"

You shake your head, breaking eye contact with him. "And I don't think it's going to happen any time soon," you sigh. At this point, it's a hopeless mission.

Ricky is convinced if it wasn't for the loud music in the background, everyone would be able to hear the cogs turning in his brain as it processes this information.

His best friend – whom he has had a crush on since forever – has never kissed someone.

Ricky looks at you through the corner of his eye, wondering if he should take the chance and possibly change your relationship forever – for the better or the worse, he doesn't know.

To you, though, it just looks like he's side-eyeing you with his usual unreadable expression, and you think you fucked up. You assume he's judging you, because not only are you a complete, bitchless loser, but you brought the conversation up yourself.

"Forget it, I don't know why I said that, sorry, now you probably think I'm weird and…" you start rambling, and to Ricky, that's the cutest thing he has ever seen.

God, he's really that down bad.

Suddenly, an idea pops up in his head.

"Can I kiss you?"

The abrupt question leaves you speechless, your words dying in your mouth as you look at him like he has grown a second head.

"What?" It sounds dumb once you say it, but you genuinely think you misheard him. There's no way Ricky, of all people, would ask you something like that.

Ricky smiles, "I said," he turns with his shoulder leaning on the wall so he can look at you directly "Can I kiss you?"

You blink at him, dumbfounded "Wha- what? Did you… what? Did you actually say that? Am I hearing this right?"

Ricky nods, clearly amused by your reaction

"If this is a joke, it's not funny, like, at all."

"Why would I be joking?" Ricky's expression goes back to deadpan serious, he inches closer to your face "So? Is this a yes?"

You nod slowly, still trying to process what's happening. You shouldn't want this, you shouldn't be so tempted to kiss your best friend. But you are.

Before you can overthink it any further, Ricky closes the space between you two. He's hesitant at first, his lips barely brushing against yours, but when you clumsily try to reciprocate the kiss, he takes the lead.

It doesn't feel special, or magic, or like anything else people have described their first kiss as. It's just two best friends who realized their feelings for each other. And to you, that's perfect.

"So… now what?"

"How about we get out of here and go on a date?" You sigh, shaking your head, "Ricky, it's…" you check your phone "1 AM, where would we even go?"

He seems to genuinely think about it for a solid one or two minutes "McDonald's?"

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note 2 bc i cant stfu : WHY IS THE ENDING SO RUSHED I WANT TO SCREAM.. but i've wanted to post this for like a week now so im posting it anyways , pls leave some feedback if u liked it 🫶🏻

[bunnyboowrites]

Nothings New (Sanji X Poc!Reader)

Sanji Angst Warnings: Slight NSFW minors dni pls

(Y/N) couldn't take it anymore, she was standing in front of the full-length mirror in the girl's quarters. Her body was something she couldn't be fully proud of not when her boyfriend would drool about anything that walked on two legs. Robin and Nami told her every day how beautiful she was and how Sanji thought so too. "(Y/N) You cannot be serious you're literally so hot, I wouldn't lie to you," Nami said and Robin giggled at her enthusiasm.

They had gone out of their way to buy her a costume for the costume party Luffy decided was happening the day before. They dragged her along when they went shopping, Nami of course wanted to be a sexy trio costume but whatever they said to convince her felt like they were just trying to be nice. There were thoughts in her brain that couldn't help but think that Sanji wanted someone like Nami, and he settled for her because she was dumb enough to fall into his seduction.

Nami was a cat, Robin was a devil, and she was a bunny, though they really couldn't be farther off theme. Robin actually picked out their costumes, she grabbed three body suits some ears, gloves, thigh-high boots, and stockings. They were finished getting dressed and were putting makeup on their faces. she was watching herself in the mirror. Feeling almost foreign with the pink body suit hugging her body, she felt like she was floating outside of her body watching on the outside. "Thank you Nami, and I feel pretty" she lied "You guys look beautiful too"

she admired their beauty, she was sure if she wasn't with Sanji she would worship the ground they walked on too. They were perfect, something she would never be. and Sanji wasn't any better waiting on their hand and foot praising their every move. He isn't like that with her, he praises her when they make love but he is never crazy over her. it hurt her inside thinking of when they were reaching the climax of a late night.

Her whimpers filled the kitchen, bent over the counter and Sanji's moans echoed from behind her she could feel the knot about to snap and her thighs were wet with her slick, "Sanji fuck so good" she moaned louder "I love you" as soon as she felt the words slip from her lips she regretted them. Sanji stilled and kissed the back of her neck "I love you too Nami" She felt her entire body go rigid. she pretended that she couldn't hear the woman's name. "get off me please Sanji"

"Angel i-im sorry" she put her hand up "Don't tell me it was a mistake, you meant what you said" She pulled her skirt down and wiped away hot tears from her angerand started walking back to the girl's quarters.

That was the last time she talked to Sanji and she didn't tell anyone what happened but they could tell, Sanji had been extra quiet lately keeping to himself with his guilt. But tonight they couldn't run from each other since the whole crew was going to be there. Nami was finishing up her hair while Robin ran the lipstick over her full lips.

"You look absolutely stunning (Y/N)" Robin commented and pulled her in for a hug. She whispered in her ear "If Sanji can't see it, there are so many people who want you. I'm pretty sure Law was staring at you when we came back from shopping." Robin let out a giggle and (Y/N) got a horrible idea, but it was only to hurt Sanji just like he hurt her.

A couple hours later she was so drunk she could barely stand and she was sitting in Law's lap laughing as loud as she could "Law I swear if I could walk, you'd be on the dance floor with me" He let her see a small smile and gave a pointed look over to the other side of the ship. "I'm sure Sanji would have my head if I did that" she rolled her eyes "he should've thought about that before being a fucking asshole" she grabbed Laws tatted hand and ran it up her inner thigh "you know Law we could go back to the girl's quarters and I can be your own personal bunny"

Sanji could feel his blood boiling, He has been watching his girl- no his angel sit and flirt with the Heart Pirates captain for an hour and he couldn't do anything but watch because he did this to himself. But he recognized the look on her face. The lust in her eyes and he couldn't bring himself to sit and watch while (Y/N) moved on from him. he briskly walked over to where they were sitting across the deck and let out a cough to interupt her plans to fuck another mans brains out "(Y/N) can i speak to you in private beautiful" she rolled her eyes and turned to the dark haired man and he just nodded at her. she sighed and got up and followed Sanji into the kitchen.

He began after an awkward silence filled the room "please angel forgive me, i don't know what came over me but i didn't even mean it" she just turned away from him "what else could you have possibly meant when you said another woman's name while you were having sex with me, someone who looks nothing like her and ill never be close to being as perfect her" she could feel the heat of her embarrassment fueling her rage "I cant be your perfect girl Sanji, and it seems that every single girl besides me fits that profile" she felt a sob rock her body "This is why i wish i had never gotten close to you" she cried "Mon ange nothing i say can make you feel better, and i admit i was thinking about her but i only want you, all i ever wanted was you." he moved closer and tried to grab her hand "i don't act the same when i'm around you because i'm afraid you'll leave me. that you're a dream too good to be true."

He wrapped her in his arms "i'll spend the rest of my life making this right, i just need you forever" she was so frightened of being hurt again. her heart couldn't take him running off with someone else when all she wanted was him she shook harder "you're so fucking selfish. We were made to break, its best if we go ahead and give up on this" she pushed away from the blond "on us" he felt as if his whole world had shattered around him, she silently walked out of the kitchen. Through the porthole in the door he could see her walk back up to Law and lead him away to a private place. He had lost his angel and all he could do was think about what he could do to win her back.

hey y’all so idk if this is good or not but I wanted to try and write something that wasn’t too slutty for once. Or at least not the main focus! So thx for reading luv bunny boo xo

[elliessession]

𐙚 - This fic is based on a song called "die for you" by the weeknd !! -> cursing ! slight mention of sa ! fighting ! mentions of alcohol !

ೀ - an -> this is my first time writing againn, i quitted writing for like a year agoo, anyways this fic is fluff !! Enjoyy!

☠︎︎༒︎✞︎🕸𖤐

Ellie had been always overprotective when it comes to you. Shes also protective to her friends or to anyone she loves but not when it comes to you its just different.

"Where are you going?" The auburn haired girl asked "hm, just going out with my friends why?" you asked while finishing your make up "your going alone?" she said sarcastically "err.. i mean its your day off and you've been working your ass off, i dont wanna bother you" you said finishing your mascara "y'know im not letting you go out without me, right?" She slurs "i know els.. but i just want you to rest okay?" you say calmly your tone so convincing she said "fine, but dont forget to text me okay?" She says "mhm" you hum receiving a text from your friend saying theyre on their way to your apartment, you started getting ready finding the right heels that matches your dark red dress. You go to ellie asking her "hey babe, watcha think?" You say smiling at her "you look great, oh my god i cant let you go out alone wearing that" she says softly laughing "i mean.. you can go with me if you want to, i just really want you to rest for now" you say looking at her "its fine baby, i trust you but send me the bar you're going at and I'll pick you up around 11pm" you gave her a genuine smile before kissing her "alright ill write the bar down on a piece of paper" you say going to your desk to write the bar down, you feel your phone vibrate in your purse, you received a text from your friend saying theyre already outside your apartment waiting for you in the car, "els, here.. heres the bars name, i gtg my friends are there! Love ya!" You say kissing her gently before going to meet your friends.

After 20minutes you and your friends arrived at the bar, you being greeted by the loud music, people chatting here and there the white and red light illuminating. You liked this feeling, the feeling of being out with your friends, drinking with them and just having fun at all.

Your friend scarlet suddenly grabbing your arm "hey! Lets go inside shall we?" You nod while smiling at your friend, you and your 3 other friends go inside the bar and oh it was loud as hell but you just shrug that feeling off and went to the counter with your friends "hey ladies, what drink are y'all ordering?" The bartender asked, your friend layla whos one of your trusted and closest friend said "uhh, we'll have 2 daiquiri and 2 gimlet!" she said. After a few minutes of waiting the drinks were served your friend layla saying thankyou to the bartender and handling y'alls drink, you take a sip from your drink daiquiri and boy did it taste good.

And minutes later you guys were drunk real drunk to the point all of you are just talking gibberish, you thought everything was going great but boy you were wrong, you guys were approached by 2 tall guys and one of the guys started introducing his self to you and your friend suddenly splurts out "dude, fuck off she has a girlfriend, shes into girls" your friend layla laughing as she says it a guy also tried to flirt with layla but shes just too drunk to talk, plus you also did the same you told the guy to fuck off and just flirt with your other 2 friends, well you and layla are the only gay ones there the other two? Scarlet and Leah well theyre straight but very supportive.

And after you knew it Leah and Scarlet were gone they went with the 2 tall guys and layla? Oh she passed out..thats how drunk she got, you laughed and took your phone out to take a picture of layla to send it to ellie, you looked at the time and it shows "10:36pm" 'ellie is probably gonna be here any minute now' you think to yourself, you just sat at the counter waiting for ellie to reply but she never did, 'she probably fell asleep' you say to yourself and at this point you've kinda sobered out.

A few moments later a guy went up to you flirting and asking you some questions which made you very uncomfortable. You already made it very clear that you're a lesbian and you have a girlfriend "dude, can you leave me alone. I have a girlfriend and yes im into girls, now leave me alone." You irritatedly spurts out "alright, angel chill, i can change you.. you just need my dick and you'll be good" this made you very angry and very very uncomfortable. "Dude fuck off will ya? I do not like you and you are making me uncomfortable." You say, the guy the suddenly grabbed you by the arm and led you to a slightly not crowded area, you tried to get off his grip but you cant. You feel helpless at this point hes trying to kiss your neck until.. there she was, the auburn girl punching the guy so he'll let go of you. "Els! w-what are you doing here?" You screamed "I'll talk to you later baby, gotta teach this fucker a lesson" ellie then punched the guy again knocking him down, ellie then went on top of the guy and started choking the guy. You got scared ellie might kill the guy and you were also crying at this point "ellie! Els! No baby stop you're gonna kill him!" You screamed while sobbing, ellie heared your sobs she let go of the guy and started hugging you "hey baby? y'alright?" She says.

You just sobbed on her arms and say "y-yes im fine ellie... but you literally just almost unalived a guy.." you say, ellie then hugs you tighter "oh angel.. i should've unalived him, he literally assaulted you." Ellie said her voice still filled with anger..

"Oh angel.. you dont know the things i would do for you."

"i would die for you.. i would kill for you my baby.."