#like. why do you need to specify you have two thumbs. what makes you special FOR having two thumbs

[uncanny-tranny]

Crochet update: guess who has two thumbs and went through a skein he just bought in three hours and still isn't finished yet (totally not me)

[bb-8]

Tech Savvy

Pairing: Tech x female reader Summary:  You’re an ex-imperial who has a crush on Tech. He’s awkward about it. Until he’s not. Rating: Explicit (18+, minors DNI) Warnings/tags: crack treated seriously, smut, unprotected PIV, awkward flirting, oral sex, first kisses, accidental exhibitionism, lots of bad jokes, slight angst Word count: 5.4K Notes: It’s smutty crack treated seriously, guys. Read on AO3.

The planet you land on isn’t anything special. It’s a humid swamp world in the Outer Rim that offers enough seclusion for even the Empire’s Most Wanted to pass by unnoticed.

You, being the kind and selfless individual you are, decide to help with repairs while Clone Force 99 are on a supply run. It’s the first time the ship has made planet fall in weeks and everyone is a bit stir-crazy, jumping at the chance to stretch their legs. Prolonged time spent in hyperspace has that effect.

Before he left, you told Hunter that your status as an ex-Imperial put an unnecessary target on their back. You’re still wearing your Imperial uniform, after all, and you know for a fact that the Empire is not exactly merciful to deserters. Especially deserters that committed high treason. Like aiding Clone Force 99’s escape from an Imperial prison.

You definitely didn’t just jump at the chance to stay behind because Tech opted to. That would be ridiculous.

You feel your face heat at the thought.

(What? His goggles are cute.)

The truth is, there’s been something – a tension, as it were – between the two of you since you arrived on board. You know it, he knows it. You’ve been orbiting around each other for some weeks now, and this is the first time you’ve been alone –

“Can you spare a minute?” Tech calls out, pulling you away from your thoughts. You swivel in your chair and shift your attention to him, a bit surprised.

“I was beginning to think you didn’t realise I was on board,” you reply as you make your way to the cockpit where Tech is currently fiddling with some wires.

“You’re...very hard to miss,” Tech replies and your heart skips a beat. “The ship is far too small to miss another sentient being’s presence.”

“Right,” you mutter while taking a seat, trying not to sound too deflated. So maybe he didn’t feel that tension. “What do you need help with?”

“I am taking this opportunity to rewrite the ship’s central comm unit to be more covert when passing through areas with increased Imperial traffic. If I can update the ship’s communication infrastructure to resemble that of a first generation Imperial craft, then we will considerably reduce our chances of being identified. Which is why I am particularly glad you stayed behind today. Considering your, er, history.” He fiddles with a mess of wires in front of him, not once looking up.

“And here I was thinking you wanted me around because you enjoyed my company,” you playfully jab.

“There’s that, too,” Tech replies. “Though it would be advantageous if you could list all of the Imperial access codes you can remember. The computer and I can do some pattern recognition to better–,” he cut himself off and anxiously rubbed the back of his neck. “Apologies, you don’t need a long-winded explanation. If you’re happy to share, you can do so whenever you’re ready.”

You consider protesting and telling him that you find his rambling cute, but you decide not to dwell on it for his sake. You list the codes you remember from the Academy. You keep talking, relaying any tangential intel relating to access codes. If it’s irrelevant, Tech doesn’t stop you.

He is silent for a few moments analysing the data you’ve given him. You watch him closely, admiring the way his brow furrows and his lips purse while he’s concentrating.

“You trust me then?” you venture to say. You play with your hands in your lap. “Even though I was with the Empire?”

“You’re helping us now,” Tech replies, as if it’s obvious. He is still inputting data into the datapad he is holding when he continues, “You trust us, it would seem. And we were soldiers programmed upon our creation to destroy the Republic.”

You fumble over your next words.

“That’s – it’s entirely different.”

“And from my perspective, all that matters is where you are now,” he states with finality.

“Well,” you say shyly, “I like where I am.”

Tech smirks despite himself, briefly glancing up at you from his datapad.

You hold his gaze for a moment, before settling into a comfortable silence. You sit in next to him for several minutes, revelling in his closeness like a brezak basking under the Zygerrian sun. It’s only when you notice yourself blushing like a teenager that you decide to make yourself useful and actually help with repairs like you promised.

++++++++++++++++++++

“Would you mind holding this wire out of the way for me while I solder the capacitors for the localised memory bank?” Tech calls, breaking your concentration. The illumination device you were repairing could wait.

You have no idea what Tech means, if his string of words means anything, and you survey his makeshift workbench for a hint. Several panels are detached, limply dangling from a few brightly coloured wires. Tech is focusing his attention on a large panel that is plugged into a cylindrical storage device.

“Maker, that’s a big data stick,” you can’t help but mutter.

Tech makes an incoherent choking sound.

You do as requested and lean over his shoulder to take hold of the wire he specified between your thumb and forefinger. The fabric of your sleeves brushes against his shoulder armour and it feels as though there is a static shift in the air, like the air around you is alive and humming.

And Tech gulps with the contact. He types a few sets of numbers into his datapad with excess force, seriously testing the build quality of the device. His posture is especially rigid as focuses on testing the wires currently in his lap.

Your pulse is racing. It’s as if each second that passes without a confession threatens to rip apart the very fabric of reality.

“Tech?” He has to feel this too, right? “Why...why did you stay behind today?” you ask, careful to keep your voice even. You need him to say it, admit that he feels it, too. You’re desperate for it.

“You can let go now,” he replied, pointedly ignoring your question.

You let go of the wire, but make no move to step away from him. You’re acutely aware of yourself right now and suddenly self-conscious: about the deep shade of crimson enveloping your face, the way you’re breathing, the clamminess you can feel on your palms. You hope you smell alright and silently pray that any traces of caf on your breath are long gone.

Several seconds pass before Tech looks up, over his shoulder at you. His face briefly flickers with concern.

“Your flushed features and increased heart rate indicates that you are nervous,” he remarks.

Maker, is it that obvious, you cringe.

Your mouth is dry and you contemplate making an excuse, but your brain does not want to cooperate.

“Sometimes I –,” you begin. Void, here I go. “Sometimes I get nervous around you,” you admit, attempting to make your confession sound as casual as possible. You bite your bottom lip in a way that you hope will be interpreted as sensual, or, at the very least, cute.

And Tech? Tech is flustered. Like visibly shaken, blushing furiously, two-steps-away-from-hyperventilating, kind of flustered.

“Please do not be nervous,” he responds tightly. Each word is taking considerable effort to be spoken. “I already told you: we trust you. I am not a threat to you.”

The poor guy. There’s no way he can really be misinterpreting that –.

“No, no, it’s a good kind of nervous,” you attempt to clarify.

“Nervousness is not conducive to high quality work,” Tech chokes out.

“No, I mean like giddy. I feel giddy around you.”

Come on, Tech.

“Would you like a chair–.”

“Stars, Tech, I like you!”

Tech...errors. He attempts to start several sentences with no success before mumbling an excuse that he has to go, “fix the reverse polarity capacitive inductor,” which, to your knowledge, is definitely not a real thing.

So maybe that could have gone better. All things considered, he did seem affected by your admission. On the other hand, he also left the room entirely.

Your face burns with embarrassment and, hey, maybe this backwater planet could make a decent home. Maybe the swamp water would be safe for consumption and you could spend the rest of your days foraging for swamp... berries. Sure, it might be a little uncomfortable, but no less uncomfortable than staying here for one more second.

And this is why you don’t admit your feelings to anyone. Ever.

Ugh. You were so confident, too. You squeeze your eyes shut, willing yourself to transport to another star system.

The door to the ‘fresher shuts, followed by a slight scuffle of feet, and a thunk that sounds decidedly like a head hitting the door.

You briefly consider leaving the ship to attempt to meet up with the rest of the Bad Batch. It’s been far too long since you’ve breathed fresh, clean, air and you feel a second wave of self-pity wash over you as you contemplate the thought of breathing in the smell of Wrecker’s feet for several more weeks in the Marauder’s circulated air. They hadn’t been gone longer than a standard hour and there was a clear path to get into town. You could still salvage the day, you could still stretch your legs–

‘Oh you want to know why I suddenly decided to join you, Hunter, after promising I’d help fix the ship? Funny story, I was trying to seduce your brother and he rejected me!’

You physically cringe at that. On second thought, maybe just pretending this didn’t happen would be the easier option. Lesser of two evils and all that.

Well, you’ve endured worse situations than this. Swamp berries, if they exist, probably won’t offer enough sustenance anyway, you conclude. You turn your attention to fixing several access panels that require little to no attention.

++++++++++++++++++++

It takes a long while for Tech to exit the ‘fresher. The door opens with a hiss and you stiffen, not looking up until he briskly walks past you and resumes his makeshift work station in the cockpit. Once he is seated and his back is facing you and you can hear the rhythmic tapping of his fingers on his datapad, you allow your entire body to relax.

You look back down to your newest project: fixing the swivel action on a chair. You’re not entirely sure if the chair needed to swivel, or whether it was supposed to, but it does now. At least Omega would have fun with that.

“Can you spare another minute?” Tech says after a considerable stretch of silence.

His comment catches you off-guard. It’s fine, it’s fine, you are just going to pretend like nothing happened. You can just carry on helping with actual repairs like you promised.

“I’m coming,” you say, while putting your entire weight into tightening a screw.

Tech coughs slightly.

“The, uh, I need your help with the cum system. The comm system!” he stutters.

Your eyes widen and decide it’s best not to comment, furiously thinking about the fact that Tech rarely makes mistakes. You wipe your hands on your trousers and stride over to the cockpit where Tech is fiddling with some wires on his lap.

“Take these,” he says while coiling a piece of wire to make a conductor. He pushes right through the awkwardness and places a handful of resistors in your outstretched hand.

You stand there in silence for several moments before you drum your fingers on the back of his chair. He makes no move to immediately utilise the resistors, so you resign yourself to stand there and watch him work. (You suppress a sigh – you wish you weren’t attracted to him at this moment, but here you are, drawn in by his confidence and fixated on watching his nimble fingers work their magic.)

Normally, you’d have already lost your patience. But not now, not when you are trying to decipher just what exactly Tech was trying to accomplish by calling you over and ignoring you. And that’s when you realise that Tech either forgot you were there or forgot to give you whichever menial task he originally intended.

But there’s absolutely no chance that Tech makes two mistakes within the same standard year, never mind two mistakes within the same afternoon.

You start to wonder if he even has any use for the resistors. Your knowledge of technology is limited, but you really don’t see how they’d be useful with his current task. Maybe this is Tech’s uncharacteristically inefficient way to try to initiate conversation. You really hope you’re not completely misreading the situation, but it’s not like you have any pride left to lose.

“Why did you stay behind today, Tech?” you ask quietly, voice tinged with apprehension and perhaps an unmistakable eagerness. You phrase it more like a statement than a question this time.

He continues to fidget, his leg bouncing anxiously as he works.

“I did some research,” he blurts. “Regarding intimacy between human males and human females.”

Huh.

“I read the specifics on how to kiss,” he continues, “but I fear that I am a bit out of my depth as to how I am supposed to initiate it.” He is still fussing with the wires in his lap, not quite able to look up at you.

“You...want to kiss?” you surmise, your heart thumping wildly in your chest. “Me?”

“Very much so.”

A grin breaks across your face and the sharp sting of Tech’s previous rejection immediately melts away. You deposit the handful of resistors in a tray containing various tools Tech had been using throughout the day before taking a tentative step forward from behind the chair. He cranes his neck to look at you, an unfamiliar expression that you’re not quite able to decipher written across his face.

You reach your hand out to caress his cheek, and sliding your hand down to his chin to guide it upwards as you bend down to bring your lips to his. The kiss is chaste, at first, but Tech proves himself a quick study as slightly parts his lips to deepen the kiss. His goggles nudge against your face and you’re pretty sure you’re leaving a greasy cheek print on one of them.

You pull away to gauge his reaction.

“Was that... satisfactory?” he asks, seemingly dazed. His eyes are hooded and still focused on your lips.

“It was perfect.” You offer a small smile.

He removes the goggles to clean one side of them with a nearby cloth. So you were leaving a cheek print. Once his goggles are back in place, he’s looking at you like he can’t quite believe you’re real, his golden brown eyes blinking owlishly at you.

“I apologise for leaving you earlier. I did not anticipate you returning my affections – it did not seem probable. And I was, regrettably, not prepared,” he mumbles.

“Probable?” It’s your turn to malfunction. You want to usher a thousand reassurances at once.

“Well, no.” Tech shifts his weight uncomfortably, not quite able to meet your eyes. “Hunter or Crosshair usually are the ones who capture the affections of –,”

“I like your goggles,” you interrupt in a rush before you surge forward to press your lips against his, hoping to convey just how much you return his affections. It’s a messy, urgent kiss that Tech returns with equal fervour. His fingers find their way into your hair, pulling you closer.

When you finally break the kiss, you straighten your back and take both of his hands in yours and take small, hesitant steps backwards, encouraging Tech to stand. As he does, the project he is working on slides off of his lap and clatters to the floor. He pays it no attention as he closes the distance between you, his eyes darkened with lust. He kisses you with renewed purpose as his hands wrap around your waist, roaming across your body, before they settle firmly on your ass.

Your hips grind into his codpiece and Tech lets out a low groan that goes straight to your core. He moves to kiss the curve of your neck, sucking at the delicate skin and making you squirm. The dampness between your legs becomes apparent and you press yourself closer to him, desperate for friction where you need it the most. As if he can read your mind, he trails a hand from your ass and places it between your legs, grazing over your clit before cupping your cunt. You involuntarily rock into his hand and moan into his mouth, hardly recognising the sounds you’re making.

Tech’s hand abruptly stills as he draws back to meet your eyes. His expression mirrors yours: searching wide eyes filled with longing, a silent acknowledgement passes between you as you reach the point of no return.

And in that moment you are struck with the urge to want nothing more than his cock in your mouth.

“Can I?” you blurt, glancing downward, hoping he is able to intuit exactly what you are suggesting in that moment.

“You may.” You allow the grammatical correction to slip by. “But I’ve never–,” he begins.

You don’t break eye contact and you begin to drop to your knees. He’s looking at you with his eyes wide, mouth slack. Tech’s bulged codpiece is mere inches from your face, and it’s in that moment that you realise that you have no idea how to undress this man.

And this, this is when you start to worry.

Does it have a latch? Does it even come off?

Your eyes dart from left to right looking for some sort of hint as to how it could be removed. You’re half tempted to just plant a smooch on the armour or the kiss inside of his thigh and pretend that all of this was intentional.

“I can get that,” Tech helpfully chimes in, blessedly oblivious to your internal struggle. He removes the pelvic plate with ease and, to your relief, you can see the shape of his erection straining under a layer of thick black fabric. Black fabric that conforms to his body shape exceedingly well. You reach out to feel his length, gently cupping his balls through the fabric before applying more pressure as you palm his shaft. He soft groan escapes his lips.

It catches you a little off guard, actually, to see him so hard. Knowing he’s been hard underneath his armour this entire time. Wondering when else he’s been hard and you had been none the wiser.

His cock has an attractive silhouette – it’s thicker than you expected and you can feel the patch of pre-cum that dampens the black fabric near his tip. You reach for his waistband and pull it down before slowly wrapping a hand around his shaft. He hisses with the contact and brings a white-knuckled fist to his lips.

You peer up at him through your lashes and you lick your lips, preparing to tease him a bit before taking him as deep as you can manage.

And that’s when something inside Tech snaps.

He looks down at you with wild eyes and places his hand on the back of your head to guide your mouth to his cock, apparently unable to continue the role of a passive observer for any longer. Clearly intent at putting his newfound research to good use. You lick a wet stripe from the base to the tip, before taking him in your mouth, the pre-cum tangy on your tongue. His grip tightens on your hair the same time he tilts his hips forward to push his cock further and you hollow your cheeks, sucking hard enough to make Tech groan and his knees buckle. He braces himself against the back of the pilot’s chair, captivated at the sight your mouth stretched around his length.

You begin to bob your head in a steady rhythm, taking him as deep as you’re able. You drag your tongue and press it flush on the underside of his cock, looking up at Tech with wide doe eyes, batting your eyelashes prettily as he struggles to maintain composure. You continue your pace until sweat starts to bead at his temple and his breathing becomes less controlled.

Patience isn’t your strong point and you’re too pent up not to touch yourself. You bring your free hand down your trousers, between your thighs, running your fingers through your wet folds and hum at the sensation. Tech’s hips stutter with the vibrations and his face contorts in what looks like a pained grimace. He takes a miniature step back and your lips leave his cock with a pop. He’s breathing heavily now and his weeping cock is painfully hard, his balls tight.

“I don’t want to finish in your mouth, mesh’la,” he pants, voice low.

You nod dumbly, currently unable to form a coherent thought or tear your eyes away from his erect length, only inches away from your face.

Tech takes hold of both of your forearms, helping you get to your feet, before wrapping his hands around your thighs, picking you up with surprising ease. You lock your thighs around his torso as he strides over to press you against one of the auxiliary control panels adjacent to the co-pilot’s chair in the cockpit. The incline on the panel is steep and the pressure of his hips against yours is the only thing keeping you from sliding down.

“Let me taste you,” Tech groans against your ear.

You let out a frustrated whine and desperately move to unclasp your trousers as Tech works to open your shirt. You shudder once the cool air hits your sweat-dampened skin and Tech messily palms your exposed breast while nipping at your neck. He helps you shimmy out of your clothing while holding you in firmly place before discarding them on the floor of he Marauder.

And this is how you find yourself spread eagle on the Marauder's control panel in possibly the most undignified position you’ve ever been in.

He goes to remove his goggles and you stop him.

“If they’re not uncomfortable for you, I’d like for you to leave them on.” He quirks a brow at you, quizzical. “What? I told you that they’re cute.”

His face evolves from sceptical to bashful in a few moments.

“Very well, then. I can leave them on.”

Tech moves his hands under your thighs as he lowers himself, draping your legs across each of his shoulders with surprising gentleness for a man who looks like he is ready to devour you. Once he’s on his knees and comfortably supporting your weight, keeping you pressed against the console, he places an open-mouthed kiss on the inside of your thigh.

“A-are you okay with this?” you manage to stutter out. It’s not like you haven’t pictured his head between your thighs before, but something about his head actually being between your thighs fills you with a nervousness you hadn’t anticipated.

He mumbles his assurances against your clit. He begins with slow, languid licks and you suck in a sharp breath as you feel yourself craving more and have to stop yourself from violently bucking your hips up.

Okay, so he’s actually really good at this. You know you really shouldn’t be that surprised, Tech is nothing if not thorough with his research and it’s, er, practical applications. Any thoughts of humour at Tech’s expense are, however, ripped from your mind when he sinks a single finger inside your cunt. His finger curls with a precision that only Tech could manage and you moan in encouragement as he pumps it in and out.

You squirm when he hits the spot that makes you want to beg for more and you feel your bare ass hit a button on the console. The next thing you hear is a soft swish swish sound of the Marauder's screen wipers that you inadvertently turned on. Mercifully, it doesn’t break Tech’s concentration and his hands continue to grip your hips, holding your cunt to his face.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, please don’t stop,” you chant. You writhe again and another button sounds its activation. Nothing immediately makes itself known. You hope it’s not something like a proton torpedo firing into the swampy area the Marauder landed in. Not because there’s anything nearby, but because you’ll die if Tech stops here.

He moans into your core as he brings a hand down to grip his leaking cock, desperate for some friction.

“Kriff,” you grunt at the sight of him fucking his fist, only to hear Tech utter the same exclamation at the same time.

“Is there an echo in here or something?” You smile at him, offering a half-laugh before your face contorts with pleasure once again and you hiss through your teeth.

“Yes?” a new, tinny voice chimes in on the overhead speaker system. “This is Echo... You’ve, uh, turned on the short range comm system.”

You knew Tech was a good soldier, but the reflexes in which he slammed the short range comm transmitter with his free hand surprised you. He didn’t move himself from between your thighs and skilfully cut off the transmission while continuing to work your clit with his tongue and your cunt with his finger.

Before you could die from embarrassment and wonder just how much Echo and the rest of the Batch heard, Tech adds another finger and your entire body jerks and tenses.

“I’ve – ah, right there – Maker, that feels good. I’ve never been with anyone who is patient enough to let me come,” you manage to say through gritted teeth.

“My research indicated that it can take around 20 standard minutes for women to orgasm if properly relaxed, why would others stop prematurely?” Tech replies, only briefly removing his mouth from your cunt to reply.

“Selfishness?” you guess.

Tech seemed to take your admission (and ability to form sentences) personally, clearly intent on rendering you incapacitated. He returns to his attention to your clit and maintains his rhythm, teasing a third finger near your entrance. You whine at the sensation and move to hold Tech’s head in place, because if he stops now, there’s no way you’ll ever forgive him. The pressure that’s been mounting in your core finally, finally peaks and your entire body tenses as you surrender to your climax.

“Tech,” you whine, unable to formulate thoughts, let alone words.

He assures you with a soft groan and tightens his grip on your hip. He can feel your walls clenching around his fingers as he guides you through your climax.

As you come down from your orgasm, you feel like you’ve spent a year in bacta. You can’t move. Honestly, your bones are like Andorian jelly. The feeling is only temporary, however, as you’re overcome with the desire – no, need – to be filled.

“In me,” you urge. “Now.”

He adjusts his goggles and looks at you, spread out, completely ready for him.

“Lie back then.”

Tech settles between your thighs and nudges his cock head against your entrance. He takes a breath to steady himself, rubbing his length through your folds, covering it in your arousal.

“So wet and ready for me, mesh’la.”

Your hands wildly grasp at his chest plate, fingernails scratching along the plastoid, desperate to hold onto anything to anchor you. You meet his mouth with a graceless kiss, before he finally sinks into you.

“You’re tight,” he grits out.

He waits a few moments letting you adjust to his size before he begins to move. He restrains himself, slowly rolling his hips as your cunt stretches around his length.

“More,” you plead, breathlessly. “Please.”

Your encouragement is all he needs before he snaps his hips against yours, setting an unrelenting rhythm. He rocks into you harder with each thrust of his hips, his plastoid leg places slapping your skin.

“You feel so good, cyar'ika,” he pants. You surge upwards to greet his lips with a messy kiss, which only spurs him on to fuck you faster. “You’re, ah, taking me so well.”

“Fuck –,” you whine.

His grip tightens and his whole body starts to tense – he’s dangerously close to coming undone. And that’s when you notice his pace start to slow, his movements clearly distracted.

“Tech?” you mumble. You focus your eyes on his face and he looks dazed, you can practically hear him thinking. You’re about to ask him what’s wrong, but he doesn’t give you any time to panic.

“Elevate your hips by seven to ten degrees,” he states through heavy breaths.

“What?” Definitely not what you were expecting him to say.

Tech seems unfazed by your apparent annoyance. He wordlessly repositions himself, grabbing both of your hips and raising them slightly, holding your body up so it’s just the sharp incline of the console and Tech’s hands keeping you in place.

He began thrusting in earnest again, his eyes screwing shut in pleasure. And, Maker, he was right. The new angle hits a spot that makes your toes curl and you lose the ability to speak almost instantly and mewl helplessly as Tech fucks into you.

You made an undignified noise as you gripped his bicep, desperate to hold onto something, feeling the pressure mount in your core. With Tech’s hands busy holding you in place as he maintains a brutal pace, you bring a hand down to your clit, still wet with spit and your own essence. You barely have to touch yourself before you feel your body screaming for release.

“’M coming,” is all the warning you are able to give him before your cunt spasms around his twitching cock as your vision whites out. Tech grunts at the sensation, unable to hold his own climax off any longer.

“Where do you want me to –,” he grates out.

“Anywhere,” you cut him off, still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm. “Just want to feel you.”

“Fuck, mesh’la, I’m going to come,” Tech groans, desperately chasing his release with harsh thrusts. His hips forcefully buck into you before his cock stiffens and he spills himself inside of you. He buries his face in your neck, slowly pumping you full of his cum, before he slumps against you. “Bid jate par me,” he mumbles into your neck, barely audible. “Gotal par me.”

You don’t know Mando’a, but whatever he is saying, the way he is saying it, sends a pleasant chill over your body.

You’re both still breathing heavily when Tech gingerly places you back down with a surprising gentleness for someone who had just been fucking you within an inch of your life. He’s in no rush to remove himself from you, but when his softened cock does slip out and his cum leaks out of you and onto the console, he helps you slide down. When your feet touch the floor, your legs wobble slightly and Tech has to grasp your forearms to steady you, softly chuckling at the state you’re in.

And when you look at him, he looks positively debauched. Sated, but debauched. You probably look worse.

In one swift motion he bends down, brings an arm down under your knees, and lifts you up. You wrap your arms around your neck while he carries you to his bunk. His cool armour against your overheated skin is a welcome sensation and you press yourself closer.

“Your research paid off,” you mumble into his chest as he sets you down on his bed.

“Please do not act so surprised by that.”

++++++++++++++++++++

You and Tech aren’t quite finished with the repairs by the time the Batch return hours later, long after the moons have risen and the bioluminescent plants surrounding the ship have begun to glow. If the squad notice you’re sitting a bit too close to Tech, your thigh pressing comfortably against his, they don’t say anything.

Neither of you were expecting to defile the Marauder all day and Tech was frantically fixing the lever on a storage hatch access panel, attempting to make up for lost time.

“Wrecker!” Echo shouts. “Clean up after yourself, for kriff’s sake.”

“Why?” Wrecker drawls, stomping towards the cockpit. “What did I do this time?”

“You’ve spilled your juice on the console again, all the keys are stuck in place.”

The access lever snaps clean off in Tech’s hands.

[shoutogepi]

Worth the Wait

Todoroki Shouto

word count : 9.2k

[ ☁︎, ☀︎, ✘ (nsfw 18+) ] (v lowkey angst//fluff)

themes : virgin!Shouto, experienced!reader (well, more than Sho anyway lol), praise kink?, lil baby couples quarrel, make up sex, and also he’s kinda hung lmfao idk if that’s relevant 💀

bio : You can’t help but notice that every time things start to heat up with your Pro-Hero boyfriend, he shuts you down. After politely ignoring his initial rejections, your frustrations build up, and you decide to confront him.

author’s note : so this fic was inspired by a conversation with the lovely astrid ( @todoscript​ ), who is becoming my cherished shouto confidante! we didn’t talk about it for very long, and it was awhile ago... but my brain would not move on so… this happened. i figured if i’m going to type so much about him i may as well write a fic. thanks for listening to my constant yelling, hope you enjoiii <3

side note : both shouto and reader are meant to be young adults in this fic!! i was thinking somewhere around 25-30 (i didn’t specify the age in the fic) but i thought i would make note of this as that’s considered “old” to still have your v-card, by American society at least (hence why sho kept that info from reader)

  ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

🅃he first time it happened, you tried to play it off as if you hadn’t made a move.

The last few of your friends had finally departed from the Saturday game night you had thrown, leaving just you, Shouto, and the slow, hot tango of your tongues. You hadn’t seen each other all week— with him being busy with his hero work, and you being busy with your comparatively-mundane job, you didn’t get to spend as much time together as you would have liked. Although it was an obstacle for your relationship, you were both young adults as well as devoted professionals, which allowed the two of you to remain on the same page most of the time. It was typical for you to text and call one another for a few hours after work (granted you both had the time to spare) before passing out mid-conversation, your phone screen still lit up and gentle snores exchanged through the speakers. But like any sane girlfriend, having him in person, right in front of you, was always your favorite.

What had started as a peck had quickly evolved into a full on make-out session— Shouto had pulled you halfway onto his lap when you tried to move back from your initially-stealthy kiss, an appreciative hum rumbling through him as his large hands cupped around your face. You didn’t fight him as he brought your lips back to his, and you failed to stop him when those very same hands began to glide down your back, parking just above your ass. His fingers had gradually started to fiddle with the tops of your jeans, thumb running over the denim and dipping down to graze against your skin through your thin blouse.

Yet when your hands slipped underneath the bottom of his shirt, he pulled back from you, heterochromatic eyes guarded as he removed your hands. You had immediately picked up on his reluctance, and threw yourself off of him onto the other side of the couch, embarrassment scorching the back of your neck. Shouto left not long after that, for you had made up some lousy excuse that you were tired and would like to go to sleep, when sleep was really the opposite of your innermost desires.

This would have been all fine and good— because consent was consent after all, and you had no intentions of pushing him to do something he was uncomfortable with— had the same thing not happened just two weeks later. There you were thinking it would be a cute, coupley evening of watching movies and tossing popcorn at each other, resting your head against his shoulder and being content with just that— when then all of the sudden he was pinning you onto the sheets and kissing you til you couldn’t breathe. His hands, once again, wandered all over your clothed torso, palms mapping out each dip and curve as his tongue entertained yours in your mouth.

You were hesitant to kiss him at first, recalling how you had horrifically killed the mood last time, but as his advances became more passionate, you slowly allowed your defenses to slip back, excitement building inside of you. It was only when your legs tightened around his waist, your core brushing up along his thigh and causing you to let out the softest moan did he pull back. That same calm, cool expression was on his face, though his eyes were a bit wider than usual. There was also the tiniest hint of pink dusting his pale cheeks, his lips parted as he gathered himself. It was rather awkward after that— neither of you really knew what to say— so you crawled back to your spot and sat in silence for the rest of the movie, your hands eventually wandering out to hold onto each other. After sharing a soft kiss and exchanging “goodnight”s, you returned to your place, ready for an extra long appointment with your vibrator.

Unfortunately for you, this became a common occurrence. It wasn’t that you hated the steamy make-out sessions with your as-hot-as-they-come boyfriend, no— you thoroughly enjoyed them. The part that you absolutely loathed was returning to your place with your panties soaked all the way through, your sexual frustration meter only climbing higher and higher.

You loved your boyfriend! And of course you respected his wishes. You would wait for however long he wanted, because you wanted your first time together to be special. But fuck, did he have to heat you up just to leave you hanging every time? If he wanted to wait, then fine! But, God, what had you done to deserve this torture? You couldn’t get past first base— you’d never even rubbed your body erotically against his except for that time on his bed, and that was by accident!

And that was what you told the ladies during your Thursday night all-girl conference call, finally needing to vent and get this selfish feeling off your chest. It had been a long time coming, quietly brewing over the many instances of him stunting your advances that you came to a realization.

Enough was enough! You were going to ask him why he wouldn’t go any further with you, and whatever his answer may be, at least you would know what he was thinking! You felt like a weight had been lifted off of you, the girls cheering you on and wishing you luck as you said goodbye, ready to confront him.

— - — - — - — - —

Now that you’re standing here in front of his door, it seems like a foolish plan you’ve made. Your heart is beating out of your chest, thumping frantically against your ribcage as your fist is frozen in the air, knuckle about to connect with the door. Your stomach feels tight and low, throat dry with apprehension as your brain runs through every possible outcome. What would he say once you ask him your question?

Perhaps your breath stinks and it turns him off? Or maybe he doesn’t like the perfume you wear— or is it the way you dress that he doesn’t like? What if the reason he always stops you… is because he’s not sexually attracted to you?

Now that you think about it, you’ve never seen him pop a boner during your tongue wrestling matches, and the realization nearly causes your soul to leave your body. Even though the thought horrifies you, you try your best to reassure yourself that’s not the case. You had caught Shouto checking you out on multiple occasions, his eyes igniting a delicious heat on your skin. Whatever the case, you’re in this too deep to chicken out now. So with that, you let your knuckles rap on the door, steeling your nerves.

There’s a moment of quiet shuffling before your boyfriend opens the door, a pleasantly surprised smile on his face. His hair is wet and freshly washed, shining droplets collecting at the ends and making him appear even more handsome than usual. The gray tee thrown over his broad shoulders has damp spots from the runoff, and you take a second to admire the way his chest looks in the clingy material. “Hey, love,” he says, his voice alone causing goosebumps to rise along your forearms.

You allow him to guide you into his apartment, the door clicking shut behind him quietly. “Hi Sho,” you greet back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and leaning up to kiss him.

Shouto chuckles against your eager lips, long arms gathering you into his chest. When he pulls away, he tucks your head underneath his chin, placing another kiss on your crown. “I missed you.”

Your heart throbs, happiness surging through you and butterflies bursting into your stomach. “I missed you more,” you reply playfully, burying your face between his broad pecs and inhaling his warm, wintery scent. The smell of fresh detergent lingers on the fabric, mixing with his clean aroma and making your tummy flip in circles.

“Impossible,” Shouto quips back, holding your waist tight as he dips you backwards just enough for your feet to leave the ground before he presses his lips to yours again, rendering you breathless. He pulls you back upright after a moment, a cheeky smirk on his face as you try to remember what you were talking about before. “Come in, sit down. I was just finishing up some work, I’ll get you something to drink.”

Following his instruction, you move further into his apartment, gravitating toward the couch and inspecting the files laid out on the coffee table before you. The words blur together for you, the foreign hero work forms long and in what might as well be another language. You lean back onto the cushions as Shouto returns, a glass of water in his hand. Frost forms on the glass as he hands it to you, taking a seat beside you with his knee brushing against yours. You smile at his consideration, taking a small sip even though you’re not really thirsty.

“Was there something you came over here for specifically, love? Forgive me if I’ve forgotten, but I don’t believe we had plans?” He’s looking directly at you, eyes locked with yours as his hand comes to land on the top of your knee. Even just an innocent movement like that has you on alert, your breath catching in your throat as he gives a gentle squeeze.

“Uh… no reason,” you answer lamely, crumbling under the pressure of his watchful eyes. “Just wanted to see you.”

Shouto’s gaze lingers on you carefully, and for a second you feel like you’ve been caught in a trap. But he lets it go, his lips forming a soft smile as he lays his arm around your shoulders. “Well, I’m glad to see you too,” he replies honestly. His fingers caress your arm as his hand falls down to your waist, and he leans in to press another kiss to your cheek. You lean into his affection, mouth curving in content. “So, what would you like to do?” Shouto asks as he shuffles the files away into their manilla envelopes, creating a neat pile in the far corner of the table. He leans back into the cushions, fingers fondly stroking at your side. “We could go out to eat? We could try this new bar afterwards, too, it’s across from my agency. If you’re alright to go out.”

You can’t focus on his words, really— you’re too lost in your own thoughts. Why does he have to touch you like this every time, when if you act on it, he’ll only push you away? You’ve been together for a long while now, and still, he doesn’t take initiative to further your relationship. Every bone you’ve thrown his way has been perfectly deflected, with no sign of weariness from him. If he doesn’t want you, is it because he’s not into you anymore?

An ugly thought rears its head in the midst of your anxiety’s dark clouds.

Maybe he never was.

Taking your silence as an answer, Shouto continues on, looking towards the kitchen over his shoulder. “Or we could buy groceries and make dinner. I think I have bok choy in the fridge, but we’ll have to buy some meat. And noodles, if you want those instead of rice. I’m sure I have that sesame sauce you like, I—” He pauses as you grab his hand, your fingers looping tight around his warm palm, sliding them to rest on your thigh.

With the summer just fading into fall, you were wearing something to showcase the smooth expanse of your thighs, and as you guide his hand to touch your soft skin, a delicate blush blooms across Shouto’s cheeks. The flustered expression on his face only goads you on, and you lean in to capture his lips.

A muffled noise escapes him, your hand coming up to touch his jaw and rub your thumb against his chin. It only takes him a moment to recalibrate before his free hand rises and copies your actions, gliding down the back of your neck before pulling your face closer to his.

You run your tongue against the seam of his mouth, and he swiftly grants you access as his lips move to follow yours. He tastes like mint and sweet herbs, the tea he was entertaining before you came lingering on his tongue. His hand slips out of yours to curl around your waist, grabbing onto your hip and squeezing. As your kisses start getting heavier and slower, your once-occupied hand moves to land on his chest, your thumb pushing into the tender muscle located there. His flesh jumps beneath your touch, but he allows you to continue groping at him through his shirt, his own hands beginning to knead at you. Before you know it, your knee swings over his thighs and you’re hovering on top of his lap, not sitting down on him just yet as you realize the position you’ve put yourself in.

You can notice the change— you’ve faced this exact scenario many times before. Shouto’s hands freeze up, locking into their current position, and he only returns your passionate kisses, not allowing his body much more movement than that. You try to just keep kissing him, but all the doubts and fears quickly pile up inside of you, and you pull away from him. You can’t even look at him. You’re too scared to speak, and too reluctant to get off of him, only leaning back to create a divide between his face and yours. Trying to hide your face before he can see your defeated expression, you dive into his chest, arms folding tight around his neck.

Shouto’s still frozen in place, but he seems to sense your distress. His arms slowly circle around your waist, fingers moving to trace up and down your spine. He softly exhales against your hair, letting out the breath he was holding in ever since you swung onto his lap. “Y/N? Are you alright?” he asks quietly after a brief pause, his voice soft and low, soothing to your wary ears. “You haven’t been acting like yourself today…”

After a long pause, you sigh, trying your best not to get emotional. “It’s just…” I’m so fucking attracted to you but you won’t let me touch you, you want to say, but you’re too terrified to say it aloud. What can you even say to him that would be better than that?

Shouto’s arms around you squeeze gently, indicating his patience in awaiting your answer. “It’s okay,” he murmurs, his lips grazing over your ear and placing a discreet kiss there. “Whatever it is, we can face it together.”

You let out a soft sniffle and Shouto pulls you tighter into his chest, his heart cracking at your sound of sadness. But his words bring a surprising amount of comfort to you, and you clear your throat before you lean back again, looking into his two-toned irises. His gaze is sympathetic, his eyes holding a visible amount of affection and support. “Well, I…”

He nods slightly, leaning forward to show his encouragement. “Go ahead, love…”

“Are… Are you attracted to me?”

It comes out more high-pitched than you would’ve liked, but at least it’s out— and he definitely heard you, judging from the wide-eyed shock painted across his face.

“Am I— What?” He stutters, his head tilting automatically in confusion. “I— of course I’m attracted to you, I’m… you’re my girlfriend.” Shouto looks at you incredulously, his arms falling to his side so that only his hands remain on your hips. “You’re the most attractive person I know, love. You’re gorgeous, inside and out,” he elaborates. “The whole package.”

His compliments butter you up, a small smile forming on your lips as you shyly look to your hands folded in your lap. “Not the whole package…” you mumble, squirming slightly as his hands come to hold either side of your face.

“Yes, the whole package,” he insists, nuzzling your nose against his. “Beautiful,” he declares as he kisses your cheek.

“Kind.” A smooch to the other cheek.

Your heart beats excitedly in your chest, thumping loudly against your ribs with each compliment.

“Courageous.” A kiss to the chin.

“Witty.” A peck to the forehead.

“Sexy?” you blurt it out just as he swoops in to press his lips to yours.

Shouto falters, pulling back just a hair as he looks at you in shock. “S-Sexy?” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but by the way his cheeks and ears are tinged a bright pink, it’s clear your suggestion was a bit too much for him.

The way he stutters out the adjective in confusion has your heart tearing in two. “Y-You don’t…?”

You’re staring directly at him, his wide eyes locked with yours and his body frozen to the couch. His lips are slightly parted, but no words come out of him.

Silence.

This is not how you want this conversation to go— you aren’t prepared for it to go like this. The tears you had successfully fought off before come back with vengeance.

Only once Shouto sees you hang your head in embarrassment, your eyes getting glassier by the second, he springs into action. “Hey, no, that’s not…” he starts to speak, sounding more worried by the second. His hand goes to cup your face, the warmth of his quirk evident in his touch as his finger dries over a fresh track of tears on your cheek. “I… of course I think you’re sexy, love. I’m sorry, you just caught me by surprise… You don’t think I know how sexy you are?”

You can only reply with a lame shrug, unwilling to let his eyes meet yours as you hide your face behind your curtain of hair. You try to slide off his lap, ready to retreat to the bathroom and wipe away your pathetic tears, but Shouto doesn’t let you move away from him, his arms locking tight around your waist and forcing you to lean against his chest.

“Talk to me, baby,” he pleads, nuzzling into the side of your face. His voice is more gentle than you’ve ever heard before, and you hate to admit your stomach is doing cartwheels at how sweet he’s being. “I love you no matter what, and I hate to see you so upset. I’m not good at figuring these things out on my own, just tell me what’s wrong, love. Please?”

He gives you a few moments to gather yourself, his fingers massaging your stiff muscles as you cling onto him. Once you’re confident enough to speak, your words come out barely loud enough for him to hear. “It’s just that… whenever I think we’re about to take it to the next level, you pull away. I want to respect your boundaries, Sho, but I can’t help but feel like it’s because you don’t… want me.” The hands on your body still at that, your boyfriend taking in a sharp breath as you pause, then decide to continue. “I’m just… so attracted to you, Shouto… I want to be mindful of your limits, but I can’t help but want to touch you all the time. I’m— I’m sorry if that sounds indecent.”

Shouto murmurs your name lowly against your ear, his large palm once again rubbing over your spine in an effort to comfort you as he tries to piece together the correct words. “This is…  a terrible miscommunication, and it’s all my fault...” he sighs, his voice dropping lower and becoming quieter, his insecurities leaking into his voice. “I’m so sorry to have made you feel like this… I promise that’s not the case.”

His words are enough to numb your worries, and you lean back so you’re able to look him in the eye as you wait for him to continue. He takes a deep breath before he sighs again, knowing he has to tell you the truth now, but worrying that he’s about to ruin everything the two of you have built over these past months.

“The reason that I push you away every time is… well, I—” he gulps nervously, and it’s your turn to look at him with encouragement. You take one of his hands in yours, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles as he tries to find the best way to explain his reasoning. “It’s not because you’re unattractive, it’s— I mean, if anything, you’re too… too attractive, and I get…” he trails off, his cheeks now a bright shade of pink that you’ve never really seen before. It’s the first time you’ve seen the usually collected man so flustered, and a part of you feels guilty for causing him such discomfort. Just as you’re about to cut in and tell him he doesn’t have to continue, he does. “I… I’ve never been with anyone… like that before.”

You blink at him in confusion.

Shouto just seems to get even pinker, and he quickly starts explaining himself as he takes in your dazed expression. “I know you probably thought I had all this experience because I’ve been a top Hero for some time now, but I just— I never met anyone before that cared about me like this and I just never wanted to do— well, to do that with a stranger.”

“You’re… a virgin?”

Shouto’s red at this point, his hot side nearly catching fire as he buries his face behind his hand, too embarrassed to face you at this point. “Yes, I’m sorry to disappoint you, love. I just… I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and I— I wanted to impress you so badly, Y/N. I… I should’ve told you this from the start, I’m so sorry to have caused you such doubt.”

His voice is just above a whisper now, his fingers clutching onto the fabric of your shirt as if he’s afraid you’ll get off his lap and walk straight out the front door at his confession. “Shouto…” You can’t stop the smile that begins to curl the corners of your mouth. This is the reason he wouldn’t go any further with you? Not because he didn’t find you attractive? Your heart feels heavy thumping against your ribcage, giddiness flooding your bloodstream.

Your boyfriend gapes at your smile, brows furrowed in confusion. “Wait, you’re not… disappointed?” At the instant shake of your head, his discomfort eases significantly. “R-Really? But everyone thinks I’m, well… kind of a womanizer I guess, I thought you’d at least expect—”

You click your tongue at him, shaking your head as you tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “When have I ever given a shit about others’ expectations of you, Shouto? I love you for you, Sho… you make me so happy just as you are.”

Shouto melts at your words, a sigh of relief escaping his lungs as he crushes you to his chest. Your sweet scent fills his nose as he kisses the top of your head, and you bask in his touch as you hug him back. “You’re right, love, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner… I hate that you felt unwanted because of me. I promise, you’re the only one I’ve ever felt this way about, I— I’m so attracted to you as well. I love you so much.”

Your lips meet his in a passionate kiss, all the hurt and doubts that built over the last few months dissolving into the shadows. Only the light, warm feeling of your love is left behind, glowing brighter than ever before.

Shouto’s fingers crawl up the back of your neck, bringing your face closer to his as he deepens the kiss, his tongue sweeping across your lips before you allow him entrance. Your fingers push into his silky hair, nails gently scratching at his scalp and he groans at the action, letting your tongue take control and invade his mouth instead. Your breaths starting to become ragged, you both pull away for a moment to breathe. As you look into each others’ eyes, you both begin to laugh softly, the pair of you equally content with how your heart-to-heart had gone.

“So, you do think I’m sexy, then?” You smirk, pleased with this new knowledge.

Shouto chuckles, nudging your face to the side so he can place a trail of kisses down the column of your throat. “Is that all you got from that?” He teases, nipping at your skin playfully.

You close your eyes, enjoying how his love bites feel on your quickly-heating flesh. “One of a few things…” Your breathing becomes deeper as his lips begin to gently suck on the faded marks he’d just made. “Mmm, Sho~”

He hums as your arms wrap tight around his shoulders, tongue caressing the skin he’s sucked into his mouth. Your thighs twitch on either side of his lap when he pulls away, cold breath cooling the wet, darkened patch of skin on your throat. He swears under his breath as his hands trail down your waist to your hips, thumbs resting on the top of your bottoms.

“Would you, um… want to try something new, then?” You offer, sitting back to look him in the eye, ready to catch any amount of uncertainty in his two-toned gaze. But you find none, for he captures your lips again and nibbles on your bottom lip, another hum or approval vibrating against your mouth.

From there he hands the reins to you, opting to lean back into the cushions of the sofa as your tongue guides his in a slow embrace. Your palms both land on his chest, fingertips starting to massage the thick muscles underneath his t-shirt. Shouto sighs as your hands slide down his torso, and just as they dip underneath he sits up slightly, tearing the flimsy material over his head in one quick sweep. With the fabric out of your way, you try to keep yourself calm, your eyes now feasting on his broad, sculpted chest and abs. Saliva begins to pool in your mouth at the wonderful sight, your tongue poking out to wet your lips as you scan over his physique again and again.

Just as he’s about to make fun of your lustful stare, you move in to place a few light kisses to his jaw and neck, the action making him tense up and flex his gorgeous torso for you. Careful not to leave any marks on his throat, you make your way down his chest, taking a moment to leave a ring of wet smooches around his nipple. The muscles jump again for you, his body sensitive to your foreign touch as you slowly take the bud into your mouth, sucking just enough for him to squirm.

“That kind of… ahh, tickles,” Shouto mumbles as your tongue traces over his skin, his bottom lip between his teeth as you move to the other side of his chest and repeat the action. He sighs as you pull away, welcoming the kiss you place on his lips afterwards. His abs become rigid underneath the slow trail of your fingernails that move south, his eyes opening mid-way through the kiss as your hand grows closer and closer to his pelvis.

Just as he’s about to pull away, you move back from his mouth, your shirt flying over your head and onto the floor behind you. Shouto can barely breathe as he looks at your bare skin, the smooth expanse of your shoulders to your hips on display for him, save for the bra covering your chest. He’s fixated on the tops of your breasts, the round, smooth flesh mesmerizing him completely. Sure, he’s seen your cleavage before, but in comparison to this, that’s nothing.

“W-Wow…” he falters, struggling to tear his gaze off of them. There’s a little bow in the middle of the cloth contraption, and he can’t help but compare the sight before him to a present. Oh, how he wants to unwrap it…

You giggle at his awe-struck expression, your self-esteem soaring higher than it has in months. Just as you’re about to instruct him, he moves a hand to cup one side of your bra, his thumb running over your skin. A whimper escapes you when he squeezes you, his face moving closer so that the tip of his nose runs across your collarbone, his lips ghosting kisses across your chest. You wonder if he can feel your heart racing beneath his lips as they trace the cusp of your bra— how it races when he presses his face between your tits, inhaling the warm, clean smell of you that lingers there. “M-Mphhh, Sho…” you sigh as he sucks a hickey into your skin, his mouth pulling your flesh out from under the fabric cup.

Your hands fumble as they move behind your back to undo the clasp, but Shouto doesn’t have time for that, it seems. Instead, he opts to push the straps from your shoulders, tugging the bottom of the material down your ribs and completely exposing your chest to him without ever moving his mouth from your skin. You still manage to unclasp the confining material, letting it fall to the ground without a care. When he does finally let go of you, he moves back to examine your naked chest, his lower lip disappearing between his straight, white teeth. His eyes are half-lidded, and he dives straight back into your chest, circling around your areola with swift kisses and teasing licks, repeating the same process you had done to him. His warm mouth enveloping your nipple makes you let out a stifled cry, your hips jerking against his lap on their own accord.

Shouto moans at the movement, his hand gently squeezing your other breast as he sucks on the pert bud in his mouth, tongue swirling around it with ease. You reposition so your legs are on either side of one of his, placing your clothed core against the rough material of his jeans and beginning to move your hips in slow, wide movements. It only urges Shouto on, for he switches his attention to the other side of his chest and repeats the same ministrations there, one hand coming to cup your ass and move in tune with your slow gyrations.

At this point you can feel yourself leaking onto your panties, your excitement only multiplying as he allows you to grind against him. You’d never imagined he’d be so eager to touch you, after so much time of him rejecting your advances. But you couldn’t care about that now, with your pussy brushing all over his muscular thigh and his mouth attacking your bare chest. The thrill only increases further when you readjust your hips, moving closer to him and feeling the hardness of his erect cock tucked into the front of his pants. You can feel your cunt twitching around nothing, drooling even more for him as you rub yourself against his front, your head falling back as you start to pant.

Shouto whines at the friction, his face falling into the corner of your neck as he tries to gather himself. Was this what he had been missing out on all this time? He sighs as he wonders what you look like completely naked— how you would look with your legs spread for him, wrapped around his skull, or better yet— his waist. The knowledge that you want him is too tempting— he can’t get enough of you, can’t stop himself from shoving his thumbs under the hem of your bottoms. And then you’re standing, letting your clothing hit the floor and leaving yourself exposed for his eyes, save for your panties which have another little bow at the front. His eyes travel up and down your legs— a part of you that has always attracted him, perhaps a bit too much. They look delicious presented like this before him, bare and inviting all along your calves and thighs, then leading to the panties that barely cover your hips. His cock twitches in his jeans as he inspects the marks he’d just made all across your chest, a possessive conscience inside of him murmuring its satisfaction.

“Is this okay?” You ask as you sink to your knees in front of the couch, looking up at him with cautious, yet lust-ridden eyes. The recognition of your desire makes his own appetite spike, and he nods his affirmation to you.

You smirk up at him, moving closer to him and sliding between his legs. He holds his breath as you start to kiss up his thigh, starting from the inside of his knee and moving your way toward your destination. Your hand reaches up to soothe down his chest, your other hand cupping the underside of his thigh and moving in sync with your mouth. Your fingers finally meet the button on his jeans, and he lets out the breath he was holding as you undo the metal zipper. He helps you peel the denim off his thighs, leaving the material bunched at his knees as you inspect his hard member through his tight, black boxer-briefs. You take a moment to thank whatever God there is for blessing you with such a nice cock; you can tell even through his underwear that he’s long, and thick.

The very tip pokes out of the band at the top, him having tucked it up at some point when the pair of you were initially making out. What you can see is dark pink and glazed with a pearlescent sheen of pre-cum, the material at the top of his briefs slightly damp. The legs on either side of you keep tensing and fidgeting, and as you reach a hand for his shaft his hips shift backwards, away from your touch.

“Hey,” you murmur softly, stroking his thigh as you look up at him. His expression is guarded, but you can see the uncertainty that shines through his gaze, the mask that successfully keeps others out futile to you. “Are you sure you want to continue? It’s okay if we stop here, baby.” You push yourself to sit taller using the tops of his knees, placing a long kiss to his cheek and giving him a nuzzle of understanding.

Shouto frowns, leaning into you and taking a deep breath. “No, I want to… I just, I guess I’m a little nervous? I’m not quite sure what to do…” he explains, unsure of himself.

“You don’t have to do anything,” you reply, kissing his cheek again as you continue. “Just sit back and relax, baby. I promise I’m gonna take care of you, gonna make you feel so good. Let me know if you want to stop at any time, alright?”

He smiles at your understanding, nodding and verbalizing an “Alright” before you capture his lips with yours. You kiss him with all the passion you can muster, and it distracts him enough to relax into the couch cushions, your hand coming up to cup his sharp jawline. Your tongues are busy tangling together when your hand lands on his abs, which jump under your touch but eventually they, too, relax after a few minutes.

When your fingers wrap around his cock through his briefs, he tenses underneath you again, his hips pushing toward you as your hand starts to move up and down. Shouto makes a muffled noise as your hand finds a steady, torturously slow rhythm, your hand squeezing around his thick shaft through the dark, cotton material. His hand comes up to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of your neck and pulling slightly. You move your hand in accordance with the muffled sounds that escape him through your kiss, his hushed moans adding fuel to the inferno in your stomach.

After a few minutes of your slow, over-the-briefs handjob, you move back from his searing kiss, a string of saliva extending between your mouths. Your eyes lock with his, intensity sizzling as you both move the briefs off his legs, his cock springing upright in the bottom field of your vision. His length jumps when your fingers brush against the tip, gathering the silvery slickness of his pre-cum and using it to coast your fist down around his shaft, squeezing just enough to create a pleasant tightness around him.

Shouto swears as you start to jerk your fist around his thickness, your smaller hand creating a different sensation and much more appealing visual than the sight of his own fingers wrapped around himself. He moans when your hand glides over the head of his cock, his grip tightening on your hair as his eyelids flutter closed. You kiss his cheek again, catching his attention as he turns to you and allows your tongue to enter his mouth. You take all the whimpers pouring from his lips and greedily swallow them, your lips dancing with his in tune with your strokes.

Slowly you move away from his face, his lips following yours until you gently push him back to rest against the back of the sofa again. He allows you to move him backwards, heaving for air as your hot and heavy kisses leave him breathless. Once you lower your face to his lap, he tenses up, although his hips shuffle forward eagerly. You make sure to lock eyes with him as you move your mouth towards the flushed head of his cock, and you keep his gaze steady as your lips wrap around the very tip of him.

“S-Shit Y/N,” he gasps, watching as his member gradually disappears into your mouth. You glide your lips down his thick length slowly, trying not to overwhelm him as you start to suck on the tip, your hand beginning to jerk his shaft at the same time. When your lips move down, so does your hand, and as Shouto becomes accustomed to the wet, tight heat of your mouth, you slowly take more and more of him into your mouth, until the head of his cock brushes the back of your throat. Shouto throws his head back onto the top of the cushions, a hand pushing his hair off his forehead and backwards as he loudly voices his pleasure in a cacophony of moans.

The noises that slither out of the man underneath you are delicious, and you can’t seem to get enough as your pace begins to pick up. Your hand is still wrapped around the base of his length, his cock too big to fit all the way in your throat, but that doesn’t stop you from trying to take him anyways. Pulling back just long enough to take in a breath of fresh air, you smile at his wrecked expression above you, tongue tracing over your lips. “Mmm, does that feel good, baby? Do you like when I suck your cock like this?”

“Ahhaaaa, fuck— y-yeah, like that, baby… yesyesyes you feel so good,” Shouto blabbers nearly incoherently as your throat glides around his aching member. Given his stuttered response, you happily service him, content to finally have him at your disposal. His length is too impressive to comfortably fit in your mouth, your jaw stretching to accommodate him as you swallow around him, successfully stealing a broken gasp from him in response. You close your eyes and allow yourself to focus on keeping a steady rhythm for both your mouth and hand to follow. His moans just keep getting louder, a breathless array of oh, fuck, shit, yeah, ahh, and yeses with every bob of your head.

As you’re diligently sucking him off, Shouto is barely keeping it together underneath you. His cock is twitching and leaking pre-cum down your throat, his balls heavy with the need to release. He watches your lips move up and down his length, your hand following suit at the very base. His mind wanders as he wonders where you want him to finish; inside your mouth, on your tits, on your face? He groans as he pictures all three, imagining you covered in his sticky seed, wherever it may end up, has him feeling close much too quick. But he can’t stop himself, and he can’t bring himself to stop you, either— you feel so fucking good on his cock. You’re better than he ever could imagine, and it’s just your mouth that’s wrapped around him— he can’t even imagine how between your legs will feel. He barely manages to mumble your name in warning as he feels his climax coming, too charged for him to do anything to stop it.

Luckily you already know he’s about to finish, for his muscles tighten up and strain as ample warning for his imminent release. You move your lips down his cock, taking in as much as you can before he’s calling out your name and shooting a thick, heavy load down your throat. You choke on his release, not much room in your mouth to begin with, with how long and thick he is already. He’s still gushing cum as you pull off of him, a few ropes of white spraying across your lips and chin while his body shakes in ecstasy.

You sit back and wipe his release off your face with your wet hand, licking the excess off your skin as you watch Shouto’s soul return to his body. He’s struggling to catch his breath, eyes barely open as he looks down at you sitting between his legs. Despite the heaviness in his limbs, he still gathers your arms in his hands, pulling you up onto the sofa to hover over his lap. He sighs as he nuzzles his face into your neck, your soft skin helping to draw him back from the euphoric heaven you had just sent him to. His arms wrapping around you loosely, he starts to kiss your neck, his long eyelashes tickling your jaw as he showers your skin in affection. His attention makes butterflies flap around inside your stomach, and that scorching heat ignites again as his fingers slide down your waist to the band of your panties.

You try to draw back to look at him, but Shouto’s grip on you is too secure, and he won’t let you pull away from him as he just nuzzles deeper into your neck. You can’t help but gasp when his fingers dive underneath the sides of your panties— his palms gliding against your bare hips and digits splaying across your ass. “S-Sho,” you whine as he cups your ass cheeks, pulling your hips to slot above his, his cock already erect again. You whimper when he guides you closer to him, the very tip of his cock catching at just the right angle to brush against the wet patch on your underwear. Hell, the whole underside of your panties is soaked with your arousal, your pussy probably more saturated than ever before. You’re so turned on, you can’t think straight as your hips begin to weakly shift back and forth, rubbing his cockhead along your clothed slit.

Shouto sighs as his hand recedes from your panties, instead moving to rub your dripping slit through the drenched material. You moan at the feeling of his hand through the fabric, your slick in such quantity that when he pulls his hand away, a thick string of your arousal trails after his fingers. He groans at the sight, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together to test the viscosity. He makes a mental note that this must be what’s meant when one has a “wap”, or “wet ass pussy”, as he recalls from a certain song. His heart is racing in his chest, the discovery of your cunt so ready for him only making his cock strain harder against your sopping panties.

“So wet…” Shouto mumbles as he touches you again, cupping your core through your underwear and rubbing his palm against your clit. He watches intently as your face contorts in pleasure, and he rolls his palm against your front again experimentally, making a mental note of your increased sensitivity there.

Before he moves any further though, he presses his lips to yours in an intense kiss, successfully distracting you as he slides your underwear to the side. He can feel your pussy twitch and contract against his hand when he lines the tips of two fingers up with the hole that your slick is pouring out of. And he can definitely feel you spasm around him as he slides the digits inside with ease, remembering to curl the tips of them just as the countless guides and videos he had watched in preparation for such activities suggested.

“Y-Yes, ahh my God, Sho—” you gasp at the intrusion, your walls fluttering around the fingers.

His long digits slowly move in and out of you, the tips curling into your spongy walls as they sheath inside you completely. You moan at the sensation of his fingers inside of you, moving a hand to your front to rub your clit. It’s not long before you’re humping his hand, your arousal leaking onto his palm as you seat your hips back and forth on his fingers. Your mouth is hanging open, intense pleasure emanating from his fingertips rubbing that gummy spot located just deep enough for your fingers to be too short to reach. You can feel your orgasm building with each roll of the hips, a slow and steady escalation toward certain ecstasy.

Shouto moans along with you, watching the look of bliss on your face each time you sit back onto his fingers, and committing it to memory. You look absolutely captivating getting off on his hand, but the urge to feel you wrapped around his cock is too strong to ignore. He pulls his hand out of your cunt, watching as the syrupy slick trails after his fingers before severing, the warm, slimy wetness returning to your spread pussy. The sight is too enticing to just look at— he grabs his cock and jerks himself a few times, watching your slick spread across his length. It feels unlike any other lubricant he’s used— spit, lotion, shampoo all nothing in comparison to the sweet nectar your body produces just for him— simply divine. 

If he thinks that’s divine, pressing his cock into you is as if the gates of heaven have been exploded open with dynamite, drowning him in a pool of ethereal ambrosia that he never wants to escape. Your walls stretch around his girth and hug him like never before; it’s wetter, tighter, and hotter than anything he’s ever imagined, and if he hadn’t already cum from your mouth just minutes before, he’s sure he would’ve cum right here and now.

You’re just about there, only a third of his cock managing to push into you before your walls start to clamp, that tension in your abdomen intensifying at an alarming rate. You throw your head back and moan unabashedly as his cock glides into you entirely in one movement, your cunt wringing snug around him as you cum. You’d be ashamed if it were with anyone else, but Shouto’s so thick and long that you just let yourself ride out your orgasm, your cunt pulsing and squeezing him tight. It feels like a religious experience cumming on his cock— he’s by far the biggest you’ve ever taken, and it’s been so long since you’ve had sex in the first place that you’re too turned on to care. A fresh wave of slick begins to leak from deep inside you, the aftermath of your abrupt orgasm coming in handy as you finally come-to enough to move your hips.

Shouto’s holding onto you for dear life at this point, knuckles white as his fingers dig bruises into your hips. He’s never been squeezed so tight before— never felt anything like your pussy, like you cumming on his cock. And even though he’s overwhelmed with the mesmerizing feeling, he still manages to keep his cool somehow, now evening his breath as he begins to thrust up into you. He decides he loves your moans— every noise you make from being impaled by his huge cock is music to his ears, a symphony he never wants to end.

“A-Ahaa ha, Shoutooo~” you cry, fireworks bursting across your nerves. “You’re so big, ah— it— it feels so gooood.”

You can’t seem to close your mouth— it’s too hard to focus on anything besides what might as well be his third leg thrusting into you over and over. His movements are relentless; never allowing you to come down from the high you’d been catapulted into with just one stroke of his cock. He’s so big inside of you, he’s probably the largest you can take while still feeling pleasure instead of pain. You feel like you’re the one losing your virginity here, not him— because, God have you never felt so filled to the brim in your life— his cock stretches and penetrates you so deliciously that you feel like any orgasm you’ve had before this doesn’t really count. It can’t count, can’t compare to this, to him.

Shouto is on the same page as you, desperately drilling into your sloppy cunt as if his life depends on it. It feels so good to be squeezed by your tight little hole, to have your fingernails dig crescent-moons into the skin on his shoulder blades, and hear your desperate cries for him. “Fuck, you— you feel so good, baby,” he pants, letting your pussy fall onto his lap and swallow his cock inside of you. “You’re so fucking sexy, y-yeah… so wet for me, so good for me.”

His praise causes a wave of goosebumps to rise across your skin, a burst of energy surging through you as you start to move your hips in sync with his thrusts. Shouto’s pace weakens as he lets you take control, sitting back and absorbing the pleasure that flows through his entire body at the quick snap of your hips. He feels like he’s in a trance as your hands move to grip the tops of his shoulders, leveraging yourself so your hips swing in a perfect arc that allows his cock to glide in and out of you completely. He watches as your hips swing back, the head of his cock slipping out of you halfway, only to be slurped back inside your tight heat all the way to the base.

Sweat is starting to accumulate and drip down your bodies, but neither of you are paying attention to that— Shouto reaches out and gropes your chest, fingers trapping your nipple and rolling it gently. You mewl at the sensation, your hips working even faster now, the dull ache of another climax forming in the pit of your stomach. You furiously hump his lap, your thrusts becoming off-beat and sloppy as your muscles scream with exertion. Frustration blooms in your heart— your stamina must have reduced in the past few months of abstinence.

“Sho, I’m… gonna cum again, fuck I’m so close,” you whine, pushing your ass onto his lap and stirring your guts with his cock as you swivel your hips.

Shouto hums at your confession, an arm winding around your hips and his hand landing on the plush underside of your thigh. His fingers dig into your flesh as he supports your body with his arm, his hips rutting up into yours with force. Each thrust has stars dancing along the borders of your vision, the power behind his hips much stronger than your desperate humping from before.

“I wanna feel you cum on my cock again, Y/N,” Shouto moans, tongue poking out to flick against your nipple, your tits in his face due to the change of position. “Want you to squeeze me and milk everything out of me, y-yeah…”

You nearly scream when his thumb finds your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves with vigor as those two-toned eyes bore into yours. The surprise quickly morphs into bliss, your cunt wringing around his length as you feel yourself hurtle toward your orgasm for the second time. It’s not long before you’re there, ecstasy rushing through your entirety as you clutch onto him tightly, your toes curling and body shaking from the rush.

“Fuck,” he swears, both hands moving to grab your hips and pound his cock into your quivering cunt, delivering another level of pleasure to your orgasm. His bottom lip is trapped between his teeth, eyes darting between your face and your wet pussy that keeps swallowing him whole. “Ahaah— c-cumming—”

Shouto lets out a loud groan as he pulls out of you, hot, white ribbons of cum spurting across your stomach as he climaxes. Your hand reaches down to jerk him off and he continues to paint your skin with his seed, his body shaking as his orgasm ripples through him. His throbbing length is slick with your love juices, making it easy for your fingers to slide around him.

His head hits the back of the couch as he releases the last of his load, chest heaving while he tries to collect himself. The devastating pleasure of your climax leaves your body feeling weightless and your brain loopy, and all you can do is lean against his athletic physique and catch your breath.

“I love you,” Shouto whispers seriously in your ear, fingers deftly playing with the ends of your hair. He means it; he feels like his heart is so full of happiness, and he’s so comfortable basking in the afterglow of his orgasm with your naked skin on his.

You stifle the laugh that bubbles up in your throat, a small smile playing on your lips. “So sweet~” you tease, cuddling your face into his neck as his hands rub the length of your back. “I love you too, Shouto.”

Shouto hums in content, arms hugging you tight against him for a brief moment before he relaxes again. “I’m so lucky to have you,” he confesses softly, nudging the side of your face with his nose. He can feel your lips turn into a grin against his chest, and he smiles at your content.

“You’re being so sappy right now,” you point out, unable to stop smiling as you turn to look at him. “I really like this side of you, I’m happy to see you like this.”

“I’m happy, too,” he murmurs, his lips pressing against yours in a sweet and short kiss. “I kind of wish we did this sooner though…”

You laugh at that, and his soft smile turns into a grin that he doesn’t bother to conceal. “Mmm, I think it was worth the wait,” you disagree, snuggling closer to him and rubbing your skin against his affectionately.

Shouto looks down at you resting against his chest, examining your blissful smile and eyes closed in content. Yes, he thinks.

You were worth the wait.

  ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

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wow that ended so soft pls excuse me im on my period and so emotional at the moment lmfaoooo... okokokok but post coitus snuggly sho is KILLING M E ... anywAYY lol let me know if you enjoyed!! this was kinda different from the usual smut i write so! i’d love any feedback i could get :) 

as always, thanks for reading! 💗

➥ masterlist

𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐩𝐢 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

[softcallofdutyimagines]

Where the squad likes to be touched

Adler

This may come as a surprise...

But it's definitely his jaw

He's undeniably a handsome man, but sometimes, in rare moments of vanity, he worries his scar detracts from it all

And although he's never admitted this to you (yet), or anyone for that matter...

It's quite nice to have someone give that area some affection, as though the scar tissue isn't even there

There's a certain way to how you hold the bone structure between your fingers and stroke along it that feels so...

Good

Especially if he has a little stubble growing out

If that's the case, reversing the motion and going against the hair grain works wonders

Suffice to say, it turns him to puddy in your hand

Hudson

The top of his head

Only you are allowed to touch this area

And even then, only in private

It's actually quite the honor, considering he'd probably break the arm of anyone else who tried it

Anyway, you know how he always keeps it shaved?

Well it's not just good for checking your reflection

The skin is surprisingly soft with a touch of peach fuzz

Thus, perfect for a scalp massage

Or, if the stubble grows out a little, it can be just as nice I'm other ways

All the little prickly hairs make for an absolute circuit board of good feels, both for you and him

Besides, have you met the people he works with?

If anyone needs a nice head rub now and then, it's Hudson

Mason

Definitely his hands

He's been through a lot, and his career isn't even over yet

So while it may not seem like much to you, something as simple as holding his hand is extremely special to him

He hopes you don't mind if he squeezes a bit from time to time

Mostly because he tends to grip a bit too hard, which of course he follows up with profuse apologies

However, it’s not much of a big deal to you, you tell him

You’re glad it’s grounding for him, especially after his nightmares or during other triggers

However, there is an enjoyability to it as well

His hands are very callused from working, a far cry from how wonderfully soft yours are

He also likes how your hands fit perfectly inside his big, broad palms

Feeling you trace his knuckles and tendons drives him crazy

And you know what?

Sometimes it really is the little things in life that matter most

Park

Her hips, 100%

In a work field almost entirely over run with men, it's nice to feel like a woman now and then

Besides, have you ever had a good hip massage?

They are revolutionary

Especially if you do a lot of leg work, like Park and the gang

So if you have some magic fingers, she'd be extremely grateful

And if not, even just a gentle caress is nice!

It makes her feel like she's yours, like she can trust you

Plus, it's a great, subtle move if you ever needed to pull off a couples disguise

She's not adverse to some fake dating should the need arise after all

But if she lets you pull this off outside of the field...

Well needless to say, you can definitely consider yourself lucky if you've reached this level of intimacy with her

Weaver

His chest

Whether it's shirt on or off, it's all good to him

As a man with quite a blocky body type, he's broad and naturally muscular, but not quite as toned as most of the others

Of course, getting older and working a desk job have not helped the latter factor

This results in him feeling a bit like he doesn't have a body to be proud of in the first place

And while he doesn't particularly mind, he's not to keen on having his face touched either, for obvious reasons

But before you threw in the towel on finding his soft spot, it came to you by accident

Each morning before he goes to work you fix his tie for him and straighten out any wrinkles in his shirt, making sure to put in a little thumb work across his broad pects

It's subtle, almost as though he doesn't want to enjoy it, but you found pretty quickly that he was leaning into your touch at that

Thankfully, in good, steady Weaver fashion he gets comfortable with you and himself soon enough

From there, it isn't long until it becomes a favorite absent minded rubbing spot for you two

Woods

His abs

Even if you just look at them, he's down for it

But he does enjoy feeling your fingers go over the little bumps

As a true macho type, he likes when you admire his "manly" qualities

Especially as he gets older

He's very much a "See? I've still got it!" type of guy

Which is why I specify his abs and not like his stomach ect. in general

If he ever got to an age where he lost sight of them, he'd be extremely self conscious and wouldn't want you touching around there at all

Or at least, it would take a good bit of reassurance from you to bring him back around

But for now, you can't help but give into his little vanity show, if for no other reason to make him happy

Not to mention a properly done stomach rub feels amazing

And although he'd die before admitting he lets you do that type of stuff...

Really, it's the bonding time with you that he loves

[shadyteacup]

Noise Canceling Headphones

A dazai x gn! Reader oneshot

It's more of a comfort fic, as I have described a bit of myself in here, but its gender neutral so everyone can enjoy!

Only the eye color, and a beauty mark has been specified in this fic.. I wanted to feel loved by dazai n so made the reader a tad bit like me.. I hope u enjoy!

He laid his head on her lap after a long day of work. Kunikida had managed to squeeze loads of work out of him, and had had him constantly at it for the entire day. Dazai sighed at the feeling of your long, slender fingers combing through his messy locks. He had missed your warmth so much.

He lived for such tender moments. His head on your lap, your fingers in his hair, dim lighting, comfortably chilly air breezing in through the window, and your soft humming of a song about summer and tranquility, is more than anything he ever needs, to be at peace.

His mind was finally silent, filled with nothing. It felt good to have nothing on his mind, for a change.

You were like noise canceling headphones for him. Always blocking out his own violent thoughts, but at the same time, keeping him entertained and happy with your tunes.

He hugged your waist like a little lost child, holding on for his life, almost as if he let go, he would loose himself. Maybe he actually would.

You were confident and strong, he knew that you could handle yourself very well on the battle field. This is why he wasn't afraid of being with you. He knows that you can handle all the obstacles thrown your way, a side effect of his criminal past. But when it comes to emotional stability, you were partly broken, just like him. Although, where your mind was shattered, his was unscathed, and where he was broken, you were strong as a pillar.

You two were perfect for each other, as you both knew the feelings of being broken inside, but were capable of pulling the other back to the surface whenever they fell off the edge.

He subconsciously smiled as he heard your humming slow down as the seconds passed by. You were, no doubt, very tired too. But you stayed upright just to keep him comfortable. You often did this, he realized. No matter how hard or uncomfortable something might be, if it helps soothe him, you would put your discomfort aside for him. You would cook his favourite food, even after a tiring day at work, and even though he is on cooking duty. You would cover him with your blanket during the cold nights, and would get up, half asleep, to find a spare one for yourself. You would always wait for him, whether it be physically or emotionally, to open up to you. You never forced him to do anything. You always went with the flow, even if it meant slowing down for him. You curbed your own desires for his happiness.

He took notice of these small yet enormously touching gestures, and tried his best to reciprocate them. But he couldn't compare his actions to your compassion. And it hurt him to accept that. It hurt him to know that you deserve so much more. But he knows you like the back of his palm. He knows that if he were to leave you, you would lose hope in love. You would feel hurt, lost and angry. He isn't saying this because he feels that you can't find someone like him, no, not at all. He's saying this because he knows how much love means to you, and how much of yourself you pour into a relationship. Because it a means so much to you. Leaving you would be stupid, as it would wound not only him, but also you. He wouldn't be able to handle you not being there for him. And you, would feel that nothing you do is enough. Which is so not true. Even your smile is enough to make his day. The way you tilt your head when you grin at him, the way your eyes shine with happiness, the way the mole at the corner of your mouth accentuates your dazzling smile, it all makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. He can't live without you. He can't imagine a world where you were not by his side.

It then dawned on him. Almost like the feeling of attaining nirvana, it suddenly hit him. Like a fresh wave of the bright blue ocean had slapped him across the face. Like the moment when you realize that you're dreaming, and it all becomes clear. All the pieces suddenly fit together.

He chuckled. Ofcourse. He was in love with you. How could he have not known? How could he have been so blind? He loved you so much. But he was afraid of losing you. Even though you both practically lived together, you hadn't said the three words to each other. He knew that you loved him too, all your actions scream the fact. But what if he was wrong? What if you were this kind to every guy you have been with? What if he was no one special, but just another one of your flings? What if you say that you can't do this anymore? What if he confesses and scares you away? What if-

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Your soft voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

"You are breathing heavily, dear."

You cup his cheek.

"Is something the matter?"

Looking into your warm brown eyes, he realizes the genuine concern they hold. He was falling for you, over and over again.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

You smile warmly.

"Only if you want to, ofcourse."

He sits up and holds your hands in his larger ones.

You have been so patient, considerate and kind to him.

You deserve to know. You deserve to have an answer. You don't deserve to live in an unspoken, wavering and doubtful relationship. No. You deserve closure, and surety. He must confess. And now is the time. So he takes in a deep breath, and prepares himself to take the biggest step of his life.

He gently rubs his thumbs on your palm, the action helping him to remain composed.

Looking into your tired, curious, honey brown eyes he musters up the courage to finally say,

"Y/N, I love you.."

Check out my books on wattpad(?)

[mochiable]

— cherries & foam. (f)

↣ summary: you've had a stressful day at work and Lucas is there to make your evening more enjoyable.

↣ pairing: boyfriend!lucas x fem!reader

↣ genre: fluff

↣ word count: +3k

↣ warnings: a bit suggestive

a/n: english is not my first language, so if you see any grammatical or spelling mistakes don't hesitate to tell me. any constructive criticism will be always welcome.

“Hello, love," you greeted your boyfriend as you walked through the door.

Lucas was lying on the couch watching the series you had sworn to watch together. You pouted unconsciously. Letting out a sigh, you took off your shoes and left your coat on the rack at the entrance.

“Are you watching the eleventh season of Modern Family without me?,” a new pout reappeared on your lips when you turned around and faced him.

Lucas turned his head in the direction of the tv and let out a nervous laugh, "Sorry, we can always resume to the last episode we watched together."

You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your lips as you heard him talk, "Don't worry, right now all I want to do is sleep until next year."

“Mhm, bad day?,” he questioned approaching you and bringing his face close to yours. You nodded softly as you grabbed his wrists and directed his arms around your waist.

“It was the most stressful day of my life, I swear I'm not exaggerating," you whispered, draping your arms around his shoulders and around his neck.

“You've been working so hard lately," he murmured, caressing your hip with his thumb. You nodded again with your eyes closed as you rested your forehead on his chest. You noticed how one of his hands went up to your head and started stroking your hair, "Do you want me to give you a massage?"

You groaned helplessly at the relaxation you got from the thought of it, eliciting a giggle from your boyfriend, "I'll take that as a yes."

You smiled again as you rose your head and looked into his eyes. He smiled back at you and moved in to kiss you. A lingering kiss, but not erotic at all. When you pulled apart you stood with your faces so close that your noses were touching, both of you with your eyes closed.

"You'll have to wash up first though, you smell a little," he teased just inches from your mouth, gaining a scoff and a punch on the arm from you, which made him laugh more, "how about you lie down on the bed while I run you a bath? Or do you want something to eat first?"

“I prefer the bath," you answered, but your look changed from a sweet one to one full of illusion, “wait, would you really run me a bath?”

“Ouch, are you that surprised?”, he answered with mock offense, bringing one of his hands to where his heart would be, making you laugh, “I'd make you as many as you want. Aigoo, my baby works very hard”.

You chuckled again, this time hitting him in the chest, “stop fooling around and go run me that bath, ‘cmon”.

“As you wish, Captain," he replied mockingly, putting a hand to his forehead as if he were a soldier.

Once Lucas left the dining room to go to prepare your bath, you headed to the kitchen with difficulty and opened the fridge looking for some snacks. You decided on the cherries in a small bowl, assuming Lucas had gone to buy them earlier this morning. You smiled sideways and took out the bowl, sat down on the counter and started eating.

“Babe, come on, it's ready!,” you heard him call you from the bathroom. You let out a sigh, shifting your gaze between your feet and the floor, “Y/N?”

“I can't!,” you answered, putting three cherries in your mouth, chewing slowly.

“Why not? What's the matter?,” his voice got closer and closer until your boyfriend's pretty face came through the kitchen door, “what's wrong?,” he asked in a soft voice as he walked over to you and looked with amusement at the bowl of cherries, “hey, that was meant for me!”, he whined, pouting cutely. You rolled your eyes and, without saying anything, stretched your arms in his direction. He looked at you with a raised eyebrow before crossing his arms, “you don't expect me to carry you, do you?”

You smiled excited as you waved your still raised arms at him, “please~”

Lucas sighed before he let out a laugh and ruffles your hair, making you squeal, “just because I love you”.

In less than two seconds you were in his arms, bridal style. You noticed how he held you with one arm, which made you frown, and turn your head, watching him grab the bowl of cherries with one of his hands. You looked at him with both eyebrows raised, waiting for an explanation, "what? I'm hungry”.

The moment Lucas opened the bathroom door, you tried not to let your mouth brush the floor. He had decorated the bathroom with red scented candles and dipped a bath bomb in the tub, giving the water a golden color.

You stared in awe at your boyfriend as he set you down and looked up at you with a proud smile.

"Baby, you didn't have to," you said stroking his cheek with your thumb.

He directed his hand and placed it on your wrist to pull it away from his face and give it a gentle squeeze, "come here," he replied leading you to the tub. He began to remove your thin jacket, then your shirt and undershirt.

You looked at him intrigued, "Xuxi, I understand you feel like doing things, but I'm too tired".

He looked at you in confusion and, after looking at the clothes now lying on the floor, opened his mouth and then quickly closed it. He brought his gaze back up to your face and gave you a gentle smack on the forehead, “No, pabo, I don't want to do anything”.

Without waiting a second longer, he bent down and unbuttoned your pants and then started to pull them down your long legs. You couldn’t help but bristle as he left a chaste kiss on your inner thigh. You've always felt self-conscious about your legs. You weren't what was considered the perfect ideal in Korea and, although you didn't like to admit it, the looks and comments people made about you had made you insecure about that part of their body.

Lucas knew that, in fact, you didn't need to tell him. When he saw that you stopped wearing skirts or shorts he knew something was wrong, and he didn't hesitate to show you how perfect you were for him and that the only important thing was that you felt comfortable in your own body. And he had not stopped proving it to you to this day.

“Do you want me to take off your underwear?,” he asked, looking down gently at you.

You ducked your head, embarrassed and slightly blushing, but it didn’t take you long to nod. Lucas smiled in response and, as gently as he could, placed his long fingers on your hips making your skin crawl. That was adorable to him, so he deposited a small kiss this time very close to your groin. Slowly, he began to pull down the small piece of cloth still covering you and threw it on the floor along with the rest of your clothes.

He immediately stood up, placing his hands on your shoulders and turning you around, making your back face him. Delicately running his hands up your arms, he reached the clasp of your bra and nimbly unfastened it. Then he turned you again and tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear and smiled sweetly at you.

He hadn't looked down once. He kept looking into your eyes the whole time and thinking how he was so lucky to meet you and delight in sharing moments like this with you. Despite the years you've been together and the fact that this isn't the first time he's seen you without any clothes on, this moment felt, without a doubt, absolutely special.

“You are beautiful," he whispered, causing your cheeks to turn crimson red. Since the first date he hadn't stopped complimenting you and making you feel like the most special person on the planet, but you couldn’t help but feel self-conscious every time he emphasized how important you were to him.

And there he had you, completely at his mercy. You felt so small under his gaze yet so powerful. You knew it was at times like these that he would do whatever you asked, just as he knew you would do the same for him. But Lucas treated you with such affection that, even in this situation, he would never hurt you, in any way, shape or form.

“I heated the water just the way you like it, even though it's probably not as hot now as you'd prefer. Sorry about that," he smiled apologetically at you, making it inevitable that a smile took the shape of your lips, "oh, I also poured the bubble soap”.

“How could I have been so lucky?,” you asked rhetorically, hugging him by the waist but keeping your head up to see his face.

“You'll have to specify a little more, I don't know if you're referring to me or that I had to fight with an old lady for the last bottle of soap," he joked, provoking laughter from both of you.

“Thank you," you said sincerely, looking him straight in the eye.

“Don't thank me, sweetie,” he winked at you as he took you by the hand and helped you up the small step that was blocking your easy way into the bathtub. Once inside, you laid your head on the curve, where there was a towel to avoid further pain.

Lucas knelt down and began to wet your hair while you closed your eyes at the soothing sensation. Minutes passed and you had already gotten used to the temperature and pampering of your boyfriend. Lucas took the shampoo and made you sit up so he could apply the soap more easily on you.

You were hugging your knees, which were pressed to your chest. You didn't know how but, somehow or other, you still felt weak in front of him. You were so in love with him that if moments like these were to end someday you wouldn't know how to go on with your life.

After a few minutes, Lucas' soft fingers were tangled in your hair, gently massaging your skin in an attempt to clear your mind. Later, he rinsed your hair and applied vanilla soap (your favorite) on a sponge. Then he started to rub it on your back and then on your arms, chest and legs.

Some of you will say, couldn't she do this on her own? But you only say that because you don't know how romantic and tender it is to have your favorite person take such good care of you.

A splash aimed at your face snapped you out of your thoughts. You quickly brought the palms of your hands to your eyes and wiped away the traces of water that had lingered in the area. When you finally opened them you found your boyfriend holding back laughter. You raised an eyebrow and didn't hesitate to return the splash. That quickly turned into a water... and soap war.

“Ouch!," you squealed as a bit of suds got in your right eye. You immediately felt Lucas lean over the tub and pull your hands away from your face. He held your chin with his middle finger and thumb and turned your face in his direction.

He grimaced at the sight of your eye and stroked the bottom of it with the thumb of his other hand, trying to dry the area a bit, “It's a little sore, does it sting?”

You shook your head, "No, but you're going to pay for it," at the look of confusion on your boyfriend's face, you splashed him again, making him scream and provoking laughter from both of you.

After a few minutes of trying to regulate your breathing, Lucas turned around and grabbed the bowl of cherries he had brought with him. He carefully set it down on the step of the tub and directed a cherry to your mouth. You gladly took it and playfully bit his finger afterwards, to which he raised his eyebrows.

“Don't heat up what you don't want to eat," he warned, popping two cherries into his mouth. You laughed and moved a little closer to him. Luke picked up a cherry again and directed it at you, but you frowned and took it from him, leaving him confused. You made the gesture of handing it to him, bringing it closer to his mouth, but when it was already brushing his lips you quickly pushed it away and popped it in your mouth. You let out another laugh when you saw his annoyed face, "don't tempt me, y/n," he scolded you with fake annoyance, to which you stuck your tongue out at him.

Once Lucas finished bathing you he sat on the floor, resting his elbow on the step and holding your head with the palm of his hand. He smiled internally when he saw you playing with the little foam that was still left, passing it from one hand to the other and putting it back in the water. You were silent for a few seconds, feeling how his gaze never left you for a moment. You decided to raise your head, meeting the loving eyes of your boyfriend, who looked at you as if you were the most beautiful and expensive work of art in any museum.

“Why are you looking at me, Xuxi?,” you asked in a low tone of voice, closing your eyes and resting your face on your knee, which was sticking out of the water.

“How beautiful you look," he answered, holding back the urge to pull you out of the bathtub and hug you for the rest of the night. You opened your eyes and smiled broadly, making Lucas' heart pound, so much that he felt like it was going to burst out of his mouth. “Do you want me to leave so you can enjoy the bath by yourself?,” he asked with the intention of getting up and leaving the bathroom.

You quickly shook your head and pulled your arm out of the water to grab one of her hands and entwine it with yours, “stay with me, I always enjoy being with you”.

“I know, you tell me that every night," he joked, causing you to splash him again with the now cold water in the bathtub, eliciting a laugh from him.

Lucas moved his free hand to your knee that was closest to him and began to caress it, slowly lowering it until his hand was submerged in the water, continuing his caresses on the top of your thigh, very close to your hip.

You couldn't stop your skin from prickling again at such a sensation. It seemed that Lucas had some power over you, that he had somehow bewitched you so that, every time he touched you, wherever it was, you felt your legs tremble. Every time his fingers came into contact with your skin you felt soft electric shocks, which not only passed through your sensory nerves, but reached deep into your heart. You had often wondered if this was what people called "being in love", because if this sensation was the definition of being in love, then you had achieved the highest position.

“It's so cute how your skin prickles every time I touch you," he whispered, bringing his face close to yours, allowing you to smell his minty breath.

“That's the effect you have on me," you murmured back, directing your gaze to his pink lips.

“Mhm, that sounded sexy," he teased, giving you a gentle pinch on your thigh, causing an intense blush to take over your cheeks.

“You're weird," you laughed, bringing your hand in the direction of his, which was still underwater. You brought it to your mouth and placed a short but gentle kiss on his knuckles, then rested your cheek on the top of his hand. “Don't you want to get in here with me? The water is just the way you like it”.

He shook his head, "I'm fine here, I like looking at you”.

You were silent for a few minutes, looking at each other and thinking about how much you had missed each other.

“You're shaking, do you want to go out?,” Lucas asked, stroking the back of your hand.

When you nodded like a little girl, Lucas got up from the floor and walked over to the corner where your towels were on the electric towel rack. He grabbed the softest one and spread it out, shaking it gently to finish unfolding it. Then he picked up a smaller one for your feet and walked over to you, holding the one for your body with one hand and stretching the one for your feet on the edge of the tub. With his free hand he grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him to lift you up, helping you cautiously out of the tub, getting your feet onto the towel that was laying on the floor. He made a gesture with his head for you to move your arms away from your sides, which you did, and, with a smile, he wrapped your body in the soft towel.

With one hand you held the towel so as not to drop it and pulled it even tighter to your body. He then bent down to open one of the drawers on the shelf and from there he pulled out another towel. He walked back over to you and turned you around, with you facing the mirror and your back to Lucas. He lifted the towel and dropped it over your head, then began to move it in gentle circles, massaging your scalp. You closed your eyes, forcing yourself to relax.

“You're the best boyfriend I've ever had," you opened your eyes wide when you heard him laugh. Had you said that out loud?

“I don't really know whether to be flattered or offended," he joked, finally dropping the towel from your head, meeting your boyfriend's amused face through the mirror.

You felt your cheeks heat up from one moment to the next and smiled apologetically at him. It was true, you had never had a boyfriend before, and it wasn't something you used to be ashamed of, not until now.

“Well, I think you should be flattered," you said, putting a clip on your towel so it wouldn't fall and turning around. You moved as close to him as possible and raised your hands to place them on his shoulders. You stood on tiptoe so you could reach his face, “even if I had a thousand boyfriends, you'd still be the best," you smiled as you watched Lucas bite his lower lip trying to hold back the huge smile that was about to escape him. Without waiting another second you pressed your lips to his, in a short and soft kiss.

“Tell me something I don't know," he teased making you both laugh before melting into another kiss, this one much longer and more passionate than the other, in which you showed each other how much you loved each other and how much you needed each other.

It was at that moment that you realized how lucky you were to be with a man like Lucas. Because he wasn't a boy, he was truly a man. And best of all, he wasn't just any man, he was your man.

copyright © 2021 @/mochiable. all rights reserved.

[tigerseye46]

For the headcanon thing. Once it’s revealed that Tang is Tripitaka, he uses that to get Wujing to reconcile with Pigsy and Wukong. Kinda like how Wujing used Tang’s celebrity crush. - Pixel Anon

Yesss, Tang gets revenge. This takes during S3 of the au.

Send me a head canon for the Red Shark/sand au and I'll make a fic out of it ^^! Send as many as you want

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Tang stomped away from Sha Wujing as the other tried to wave at him from the kitchen. He was still mad at the others for not divulging he was Tripitaka’s reincarnation especially Wujing who he thought was interested in him after they had gotten closer. But nope, he only liked him because he was Tripitaka.

He told the demon to figure out if he actually liked him for him and wasn’t using him as an outlet for his feelings. He wasn’t going to be friendly toward the other until then.

“Hey, Wujing,” Sun Wukong greeted. Tang turned around to see the former pilgrims all in the kitchen. 

Sha Wujing hissed at the two. “What do you want?”

“Just to talk,” Zhu Bajie replied.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” “Well how are you faring since-?”

“Oh, I’m faring just wonderfully,” he snarked. “Nothing like the person I love the most ignoring me. Exactly like back then.” Tang sighed at the demon’s words. Wujing didn’t love him, he loved Tripitaka, that was it. The other thing the demon said struck him, from what he recalled, Tripitaka never ignored him and cared about him very much, he doesn’t know how the monk gave him that impression.

“Give him time,” Wukong said. “He’ll come around.”

“Yea, no thanks to you. Maybe if you told him in the beginning we would be happy with each other. But no, you had to keep your mouth shut for once.”

Bajie held up an arm to halt him. “It’s not his fault, Wujing.”

“Yes, it is! He hung out with Tang the longest! He should have told him.”

“I didn’t know, Wujing.”

“But you suspected,” he pointed out. “Also you could have used your special eyes and told him but you’re too much of a coward to do so.” “Coward?” He exclaimed. “What about you? You figured out and could have told him yourself. Don’t blame me for your faults.” “Whatever,” he replied and pushed passed them, heading towards the opposite direction of where Tang was. Jeez just when they were finally starting to at least talk without screaming.

The king ran a hand through his fur. “He’s right. I should have said something.”

The pig patted him on the back. “It’s not your fault. It’s not like it was an easy thing to bring up.”

“I know but-”

And at that point, Tang stopped listening. He went back to his room and laid on his bed. He was angry at Sun Wukong and Zhu Bajie too but that argument left a bad feeling. Heck, all their arguments left a bad feeling.

He knew Wujing loved to pick fights with those two because of Tripitaka’s- because of his death. While Wujing was right that his best friend should have told him, the demon should have also told him.

They had really split apart after his passing which was not something he wanted at all. He didn’t like to see his disciples friends fight and while he could leave them be, it wasn’t right to do so. He knew their relationship wouldn’t be repaired unless he intervened since Sha Wujing was so stubborn.

He threaded his fingers through his dark locks and decided to use his position as their master’s reincarnation to get them to reconcile. They were going to be stuck on this flying ship for who knows how long so they had to get along or the journey would be more difficult than it needed to be.

He would go up to Wujing first to convince him they needed to talk and while he hated being used as an outlet, he didn’t have a choice otherwise. Well other than locking them in a closet but he’s sure they would break the door.

Tang got up once again and went to find Sha Wujing who was on the balcony of the shop. He was leaning against the railing with a contemplative look on his face. His red-orange hair shined in the sunlight.

Tang took a couple of breaths and walked up to him. Hearing the noise, the demon gazed at him, his eyes blown wide at the other approaching him.

“Tang,” he said.

“Hey,” the human responded and leaned against the railing just like the demon did.

“Why are you here?”

“Fresh air. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.” Wujing opened his mouth to speak before closing it then repeating the process. “Tang.”

Tang placed a hand up. “I know what you’re going to say and you don’t have to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying when I say I really do love you.”

“Uh huh. You only love Tripitaka, not me.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is true. We’ve been over this. I’m not looking to get into it right now. It’s not what I came here to discuss.”

“I thought you said you came here for fresh air.”

He pursed his lips and nodded. “That too but there is something we need to discuss. You need to talk to Wukong and Bajie.” The other lifted a brow. “And when I mean talk, I mean something that is not an argument, a fight or anything along those lines. Civilized conversation. You three need to make up.”

Wujing scoffed and crossed his arms. “Make up with those two? No thank you. They’re terrible.”

“And why are they so terrible?” He asked.

“Because they wanted you dead.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Think about it, Tang. They never wanted to listen to you. They always thought it was best to disobey you or get you captured. They never cared about you like I did yet they were your favorites.”

“Wujing, they cared about me like I did them and you.”

“They didn’t. They let you die after they finally managed to get away from you.” He muttered, “And you didn’t care about me.”

Tang rubbed his temples in annoyance, ignoring the last comment. “They got there too late.”

“How do you know? You died.”

“I know them. They got there late and there was nothing they could do either way.”

“Whatever. I’m not making up with them.” He began to step away.

“Sha Wujing, come back! You are making up with your brothers!”

“They’re not my brothers,” he called back.

Tang removed the glasses from his face and said in a soft tone, “Wujing, please come back.”

The other stopped to stare, the human’s face was marked by a frown and without the glasses, he looked even more like his incarnation. He blushed at the human’s appearance. The human getting closer and closer with folded glasses in hand.

He held his face and tilted the demon’s chin slightly upwards. “A little close there.”

“What? I can’t get close to my disciple?”

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me.” He traced a hand along the demon’s biceps. “Wow. Your strength really hasn’t waned since I last saw you centuries ago.”

He blinked. “Th-thanks?”

“Still so impressive after all these years. This is rather forward but I find it hot,” he said it just as Tripitaka would say it.

“Thanks…”

“It’s probably why you’re the best one out there.”

“Well that’s no secret,” he bragged and tried to act as if this didn’t affect him.

“You are.” He rubbed his cheek with his thumb and Wujing placed a hand over his. Tang ignored the flutter and enjoyed the fact that he could get revenge on the demon for using his crush against him. “You know what would make you better than them?”

“What would that be, Tang?” He questioned and pressed a kiss against his palm.

He leaned in and whisper, “If you showed the other two how great you are by patching things up to them first. Be the bigger man like I know you are.”

“And what do I get if I make up with them?”

“A kiss,” he replied, “but only if you promise.”

He grinned. “I promise.” Tang smooched his cheek and walked off, putting his glasses back on. “Wait! You said a kiss!”

“I did give you a kiss!”

“A kiss on the cheek doesn’t count!”

“Yes, it does! I didn’t specify! And I’m still mad at you! Remember your promise and I might give you another one,” he exclaimed before going back inside.

He touched his cheek, the warmth lingering. He grumbled at getting tricked before going with the human.

It wasn’t until hours passed that Sha Wujing saw Sun Wukong and Zhu Bajie. “Hey. We need to talk.”

“About?” Bajie pondered.

“Sit down.” He gestured to the couch in the living room.

The two gave him a questioning glance but complied. “Okay. What is it, Wujing?” The king held Bajie close to him.

“Tang is forcing me to do this.”

“Tang talked to ya?”

“Yea. He hasn’t forgiven me just yet but he wanted me to talk to you.”

“And ya listened?”

“He is still our master…”

Wukong smirked. “Let me guess. He managed to seduce you into talking to us.”

His face shifted beet red. “No! Shut up!”

“Let’s listen to him, Wukong.”

“Fine. What is it?”

“Look I don’t care about you two.”

“Wow a great way to start,” Sun Wukong joked.

“Shut up. Look I don’t care about you two but I should at least try to get along with you. Heavens, this is difficult.”

Tang interrupted with, “You better go through with it.”

“Tang! I will. I promised I would.”

“Good. Even though I’m still mad at you, all of you. Make this easy on me and the kids by at least being civilized. Before I leave you to your own devices. My previous death,” he winced, “wasn’t any of your faults and I don’t want you to blame each other or yourselves for what happened. It’s all in the past and I’m here now. Got it?”

They bobbed their heads. “Good. Now I’m going to eat something. Have fun.” He left to the kitchen.

The youngest demon clasped in hands together. Wukong apologized with “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“Sorry for not being there when you and master needed us. Everyday I think about how we should have gotten there faster. Maybe things would be different. We shouldn’t have given up on you so easily.”

“You didn’t. I was the one who made it difficult on you.”

“Still. We should have stayed with you,” Bajie said.

“I would have gotten even more pissed.”

“Even still. We should have done somethin’.”

“There was nothing you could have done. Just like… just like with master’s death,” he admitted. “After all this time, I didn’t want to admit how I acted was horrible to you two. I always thought… thought that Tripitaka loved you more than he loved me and that broke me inside. I still think that way. It’s not something that’s easy to get over.”

“We know.”

“And I don’t exactly forgive you either because a part of me still thinks you wanted him gone but I know I have to deal with you around and if I never say this, I’ll make it difficult for all of us. I have to protect that kid even if it means opening up to all of this. So that’s it. I don’t exactly forgive you but I’m not going to remain that pissed either. At least try to.”

“We appreciate that,” Wukong responded with a smile. “We’ll try our best to make it up to you again. And we’re really sorry we couldn’t help save master. That decision still haunts us.”

“I know.”

“But it wasn’t all for nothing,” he continued. “He came back and we got Tang. Tang is pretty cool.”

“Yea, he is. I just wish he believed I like him.”

The pig asked, “Do you or do you just like him because he’s master?”

“I… I don’t know. I would like to believe that I do and I do but his words make me doubt that.”

“You have to figure it out. It isn’t easy for him, ya know? The guy he has a crush on only likes him because he’s the reincarnation of the guy he loved. And this whole time, this guy has never said a word.”

“I know what he thinks and I’m trying to figure it out so I can tell him.”

“If ya ever need us, we’re right here.”

Wujing nodded and got up from the couch. “Thanks… big brothers.”

The two grinned at being acknowledged as his eldest disciple brothers even though their relationship wasn’t completely repaired. The blue demon went into the kitchen with Tang. The human looked at him as he stood over a pan, he pressed a hesitant kiss and whispered “Good job but I’m still mad.”

“I know. I’ll prove to you I like you.”

The human’s eyes drifted to the pan, a small nod of the head and replied, “I hope you mean that” then went back to ignoring him.

[gloomybabygirl]

{chicken soup} Poe Dameron x reader

this story depicts the reader struggling with an eating disorder and being helped through an episode of self hatred. please read with caution.

a/n: hi hi this is a little self indulgent comfort fic because I had a rough time dealing with my ED today :) part 3 of ‘in my head’ is coming, I promise!! I'm trying to make sure I love it before I post. also p.s. I know Coraline isn't in Star Wars aksdjbjdb it’s just my chicken soup movie OKAY 

warnings: depictions of an eating disorder (body dysmorphia and starvation), mentions of self hatred, mentions of weight (not specified), self deprecation (reader), this is a fluff comfort fic! if any of these are a trigger, please consider skipping this one. take care of yourselves loves, you’re all beautiful <3

word count: 1633 (oops I meant to make it shorter)

summary: Poe comforts you when he realizes you haven't been taking care of yourself

You were getting sick of the face looking back at you in the mirror. You had studied your own face for so long you were pretty sure you’d filled your quota for the year. You’d been in the refresher for the better part of the night. Ignoring the hunger pains you felt, you continued to inspect yourself. You slowly rotated and contorted your naked body at odd angles trying desperately to find a way to accept what you were seeing reflected back at you. You ran your hands along the parts of you that you weren't so fond of and poked and prodded them. You shifted your eyes back up to the face that you had spent so long scrutinizing. Puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks stared back at you. You climbed up onto the counter and sat cross legged so you were nose to nose with your reflection. You stared into you own eyes as the tears welled up once more. 

Poe had been gone for two days with BB-8 on a mission. He hated to leave you alone and worried that you wouldn’t take care of yourself while he was away. You lied through your teeth when you told him you’d be okay without him. 

The truth was that you couldn't heal alone. Sure, you had to do most of the work yourself, but Poe’s understanding and love was an integral step into you feeling like yourself again. It was okay for you to need help.

You jumped when you heard the blast doors open, scrambling off the counter. Your hastily tied your robe around your waist just as Poe stepped into the refresher. 

“Baby you're not going to believe this mission! I had a run in wi-” He stopped mid sentence when his caring eyes met your bloodshot ones. “What’s wrong my love?” He took two long strides to you and cupped his hands over your cheeks, wiping the tears with the rough pads of his thumbs. His eyes turned more worried when you didn't respond, just gnawed anxiously at your lip. How could you tell him how you were feeling? He would never understand. 

“Baby?” He moved his hands to stroke your arms, desperate to elicit a response from you. All you could do was look up at him, immediately feeling the tears fall once you saw the distressed look in his eyes. 

He pulled you into his warm embrace, guiding the back of your head to rest on his chest with your folded hands against your face. Strong, protective arms completely encompassed you and Poe gently rocked you where you stood. He pressed kisses to the top of your head, patiently waiting for you to be ready to talk about what was bothering you. 

It wasn't always easy for Poe. Patience was a learned trait for him. He wanted you to be able to come out and say exactly how you were feeling so he could help you feel better faster. Over the years he came to find that sometimes you needed time to process exactly how you were feeling. You were filled with deep, complex emotions that were often times hard for you to sift through. 

You sniffled and lifted your head to look at him. 

“I hate myself,” you muttered, looking away from his eyes. You couldn't look at him and say those words to him when you knew he loved you so much. 

He pulled you back into his arms. “Please don't talk that way about my girlfriend. I love her. And she has so many lovable qualities.” 

You lifted you head again, allowing him to wipe away the fresh tears. 

“Did my girlfriend eat while I was away?” he asked innocently. You once again had to look away when his face fell with the realization that you hadn’t. He was upset that you hadn't taken care of yourself while he was gone. When you were feeling insecure about your body, it was a bad habit of yours to starve yourself. 

“Baby you need to eat. Please?” 

You shook your head, feeling like you were underserving of food when you hated the way your body looked. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

You nodded. 

“If I asked you to take care of something important to me, would you?” 

“Yes, of course,” you responded automatically. 

“Then why aren’t you taking care of yourself?” He asked, cupping your face and giving the tip of your nose a kiss. He then led you over to the bed, guiding you to sit when he noticed you were wobbly from lack of nutrition. 

“Stay here, I’ll be right back, I promise,” He looked over at BB-8 in his charging station. “BB, you’re in charge of cuddles until I get back, okay buddy?” 

The droid beeped dutifully and proceeded to roll over to you, nudging you and chirping happily. 

_

The blast doors flew open twenty minutes later revealing Poe with food in one hand and a stack of holovids in the other.

“First, food and water. You deserve nourishment, my love. And you don’t need to feel guilty about eating, I’m going to eat the same thing you do.” 

You were reluctant to eat with him but you could’t resist when he revealed he had brought your favorite food home. 

“And don't worry about finishing it, you know I always have room for whatever you don’t eat,” he smiled at you, knowing he didn't really need to remind you of this fact.

Once he was satisfied with the sustenance you had put in your body, he pulled you to your feet. He guided you back to the refresher and let go of you only for a moment to start the shower. 

He respectfully helped you undress and then stripped himself, waiting for the water to be a bearable temperature. When he was satisfied with is very scientific ‘hand water temperature test’, he stepped into the shower, pulling you with him. 

Under the steaming water he massaged shampoo through your hair, smiling to himself as he saw your eyes flutter closed at the feeling. 

“Will you talk to me?” you asked. “Tell me about your mission. I just want to hear your voice.” The warm water was starting to relaxing you. 

He laughed to himself, but began to tell you about the mission he’d spent the last two days on. He kept his tone even, even during the exciting parts so that his voice maintained its soothing lull. 

When he was done washing you and had done the same to himself, he took a step back to admire you, keeping his hands on your lower back. 

“Beautiful,” he murmured, so quietly you weren't even sure you’d heard it correctly. 

Suddenly self-conscious with his eyes burning you, your arms came up to hide your body from him. He shook his head and carefully placed your arms back at your sides. 

“You don't ever have to hide from me,” he whispered. 

Poe took his time with you under the running water. He kissed every inch of the body that he loved so much, paying special attention to his favorite parts of you, and to the parts of you he knew you weren't fond of. He whispered how much he loved each part of you as he went, slowly making his way across your skin, painting you with his lips. His words flowed out and bathed you in love and warmth, making you start to believe them. If this is what it would take for you to learn to love yourself, Poe would do it everyday. He wanted you to see yourself the way he saw you. 

Once he felt satiated from you, he turned the shower off, still holding you in his arms. He wrapped you in a fluffy towel before grabbing your hand and once again leading you to the main room of your shared quarters. 

He pulled out your favorite pajamas and helped you dress in them, smiling at how cute you looked with your wet hair and fresh face. He donned his softest pajamas, knowing you'd snuggle into him regardless, but not wanting to take any chances. 

He turned to look at you sitting on the bed, quiet but no loner looking like you were going to cry. Progress. 

He held up the selection of holovids he had stolen from Finn, “Which chicken soup movie tonight, my love?” 

You surveyed his choices, smiling at the fact that he knew you well enough to have chosen all your favorite comfort movies. “Coraline,” you decided. You wanted something you’d seen over and over so you could fall asleep while you watched. 

“Coraline it is,” he began the holovid and made his way over to the bed, burrowing himself under plush blankets he had also stolen (from Leia this time). 

“Come here baby,” he opened his arms to you. You readily climbed into his open arms, relishing in the way his arms instantly wrapped around you. This was your happy place. 

“Thank you,” you whispered against his neck, giving him a small kiss there. 

“You’re welcome baby. But you don’t have to thank me, I want you to love yourself and I’ll do anything I can to make that happen.” He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, nose, forehead, and lips again before you nuzzled back into his neck. 

Halfway through the movie, Poe looked down to find you had fallen asleep, mouth slightly open. He felt his heart soften and relief wash over him at seeing you peacefully sleeping in his arms. He could finally relax, knowing his efforts had succeeded.

Poe wanted you to love yourself as much as he loved you. And he would help you in whatever ways you needed until you loved who you saw in the mirror.

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Twenty | Ooo I Ooo I Ooo I Ooo I (Part 2 of 2 | His POV) [First] | [Previous] | [Next]

Song Referenced

• • •

did he give you an exact date?

Unfortunately, no.

At first, I had at least until the end of the year, but…

CPS wants this resolved quicker than he thought.

guessin' you need to finish tourin' the underground first then, right?

Yes.

Would it be possible the day after tomorrow?

Or just… sometime this weekend?

I can go by myself, but…

Asgore won't allow that unless I'm with someone else.

Says I shouldn't be walking so far and so long alone if I haven't recovered yet.

you don't need to go alone, either way.

be it my job or not, I still wanna help out.

so the day after tomorrow's fine with me, bud.

we can discuss those details better when we drive over to tori's school tomorrow.

Are you sure?

And…

Does that 'we' imply you'll be picking us up?

100%

but yeah, i'll drive you guys there.

and pick up paps on the way, too.

it's easier for all four of us.

Mhm.

don't believe me?

Oh, I believe you.

I just don't think that's the only reason why you're picking us up, when I already have the address.

so what's the other one?

Don't get cocky, Serif.

I'm not gonna type that out.

It's a godsend Frisk will be with us, too.

'Cause I sure don't trust being alone with you anymore.

inna bad way?

Nah.

niiice.

pick you guys up tomorrow, then?

Yes.

We'll see you tomorrow.

And thank you in advance.

∆ Sticker | Happy Cartoon Bunny™ waving goodbye ∆

"You've changed, Sans."

He ignores that comment to view (Y/N)'s last two messages again.

While he doesn't know why that particular sticker bothers his mind so much, a few scrolls up to revise his chat history with the human reveal this is the first time they've shown any sort of informality or spontaneity in their typing. (Y/N) came off cold in their texts, though -- based on how they acted outside of a chat app -- that wasn't their intention, but more of an automatic way for them to talk with someone they didn't exactly deem trustworthy enough yet. He grins at that thought and feels his face warm up, something he confirms when touching his cheekbone, cold palm contrasting with that heat.

"You're wasting your time with that human," Drunk Bun says, snapping him out of his daydreaming.

They've sat themselves on the bar stool next to him and slam what looks like their tenth can of cheap, off-brand beer against the counter, crunching it down into more than half its size. He doesn't know how long they've stood there or why he's lost this much awareness of his surroundings. The bar's practically empty and calm now compared to before, though there's loud music blaring from the jukebox, playing an already overplayed song on repeat. There's no excuse for his distracted mind other than having lost himself while texting with the human, so he admits that fault with partial sourness, against accepting he's that smitten with them.

"You're changing for the worse," his company adds, narrowing their eyes at him. "Every time we come here to catch up, you mention something stupid about that (L/N) person, or just text the whole evening away with them. I... I've never seen you worry so much about someone so inconsequential." They scoff and cross their arms tight. "I may understand you caring after Frisk as a way to repay them for rescuing us, but (L/N) is completely useless. They've done absolutely nothing remarkable beyond creating a huge scene at that bus you were both on."

"Being harassed by a rando and faintin' after's them causin' a scene?" Sans asks, quirking an eye socket.

"Oh, screw off, bone boy -- You know what I mean. They've brought you nothing but trouble and needless responsibilities!" The bunny grits their teeth and slams their hand over the table, dragging eyes to their side. "I'm betting you can't go a day without texting them or without you doing something for them."

"You need to-"

Beep-beep.

The phone is snatched from his hands just as quick as that noise rings.

"Give that back."

"No." They keep the phone right above him, taking advantage of his shorter height. "Your fault for not putting a lock on it."

Drunk Bun scoots away and holds the phone tight as they fumble with it. Then, they stop to look at what he assumes is another text message from the human. A grimace shows on their face and they grasp the device tight, enough to make the screen complain and warn them over the pressure they're exerting against it. "Now this is beyond pathetic, Sans," they comment, letting out a loud, burst laugh. "Is this seriously the one you're sacrificing your entire personality for?" They give him his phone back, though not before hesitating when it's time to let go. "That human is-"

"Gimme a sec."

His attention falls on the picture displayed on screen, revealing (Y/N) and Frisk posing in it. The adult wears a suit and tie while the child has Toriel's school uniform on. The former's pose appears forced and awkward while the latter seems to be the reason the picture was taken with how excited they seem about their outfit.

Frisk wanted me to show you this.

It's what we'll be wearing for tomorrow!

There's a three-minute interval between that and the next message.

I know classes still haven't started there, but… They wanted to wear it, so I joined them by trying on something special for, well…

That job offer you told me about.

I don't know if I'll accept or not yet, but…

Thank you for the opportunity, and for believing in me.

∆ Sticker | Happy Cartoon Bunny™ giving a thumbs-up ∆

"You're grossing me out, honestly. What kind of look is that?"

It takes him a while to react, focus glued on (Y/N)'s messages.

"What look?"

"That lovesick look on your face." Tears form on their eyes -- almost abruptly, hadn't their voice shaken right before that. "I- I've been flirting with you for years, and yet you've never once looked at me like that before." They stand up straight, stare down at him, and rest their hands on the table, blinking their tears away throughout. "I've known you for so damn long, and yet you fall for the first human you see up here? I-"

"So that's what this's about," he says, chuckling. "You're-"

"Don't you dare brush everything off as me having a crush on you, Sans." They hiss. "You're not the same as before, and that's as clear as day. You worry a lot more now, and… And you actually seem to care more about other stuff beyond your job and sleeping on it. Y- You-"

"Aren't those good things?"

"Maybe, but your entire personality changing isn't. I liked you better when you were less worked up with stuff that's none of your business." They stop to grab his phone again; a grin breaks the sorrow on their face. "But hey, y- you're just doing your job, aren't you? You should set things straight with that human and remind them you're only with them because Asgore told you to in that agreement letter you gave them."

"Won't work if I flirted with 'em first. Pretty sure they'll see right through my lies."

"Y- You flirted with them first?!"

"Yeah."

He dodges a punch aimed right at his face.

"Wait-"

They throw a second punch -- this one turning out to be a spoof -- and laugh at the sight of him falling for it; they then toss the phone high over his head after he's finished dodging that fake attack, and aim yet another punch right after.

He salvages the device, though at the cost of taking the blow right on his left eye socket.

"How can you admit that so easily? You're awful!"

"'Cause you're only a close friend. I don't owe you an explanation about who I'm dating, and even less if you're gonna be actin' this way."

Drunk Bun springs at him, only to be held back by the rest of the regulars sitting near the scene, sufficiently fast enough for them not to wrangle Sans in anything major. They struggle and thrash at everyone around, trying to break free, but failing each time. It takes a fully-armored guard dog and a buff bear for them to be fought back into their rightful place, and yet another strong monster for them to let go of a wine bottle they insist on downing when seated.

Grillby intervenes as well by warning them to calm down, unless they want to be kicked out. Meanwhile, Sans turns on the camera and looks at his reflection through it, revealing a faint soreness already forming around his eye socket -- right where his companion had punched at. Being primarily made out of bones brought advantages, but having magical properties often led to him bruising easily.

Another regular approaches him and offers him a first aid kit, one he brings back to his seat to heal himself there.

While he takes out an antibiotic and some cotton pads with one hand, he uses the other to busy himself with (L/N)'s messages, against leaving them on read for so long.

no probs.

here at your service.

frisk looks great, btw.

and you? hot. 😘🔥

awkwardly hot.

hotwkward.

Frisk is reading the replies, you know?

damn.

i mean…

darn.

don't tell 'em i said that.

∆ Audio | 0:46 ∆

He clicks on it to hear Frisk giggling along with (Y/N) commenting they won't. It later continues with them asking if he's alright, specifying what they mean by highlighting a picture, this one sent by him. Blurriness makes up most of it when he clicks on it and zooms in, yet he can identify what looks like his companion from earlier, who'd apparently snapped and sent the human a photo by accident.

that's a friend o' mine.

they're, uh, kinda tipsy, so they got inna fight with me.

Really?

Are you okay?

yeah, just a lil' sore where they punched at.

What?!

i'm fine, puddin'.

dw about it.

Where's that bar at?

I'm near the mall, so I can drop by if you need anything.

aren't you still shoppin'?

take it easy.

I'm almost done.

Just trying out one more outfit.

can I see?

👀

Sure.

∆ Attachment | 2 images ∆

To his surprise, they're not only posing much more freely now, but they've also made the effort to strike another pose from a different angle. The human's outfit is composed of a dark green, semi-formal (suit/dress), fit for a night out. They've gone as far as to edit a wink emoji and some hearts at the corner of one -- the most flirty of the two.

So...

What do you think?

*jaw drops to floor, irises pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, soul beats out of rib cage, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of teeth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens jacket, combs skull* ahem, you look real lovely.

*bwushes* Thank uwu kindwy, handswome. I'm vewy fwattewed.

...frisk ain't there anymore, right?

If they wewe, duwu uwu twhink I'd be twyping wike thiws?

faiw poiwnt.

Anyway…

I noticed the changes you made in that copy-paste, and…

You didn't edit the tongue part out.

So…

What that tongue do, baby?

😳

…lick…

...ice cream.

🔥🔥🔥

Ah, that's hot.

Or should I say cold?

And speaking of cold…

I'm gonna get you an ice pack or something.

You should take care of where it's sore, if you don't want it to bruise more.

whatta way to change the subject away from our moment, puddin'.

but uh, thanks in advance.

Anytime, teddy bear.

uwu

owo

• • •

"Am I really changin', Grillbs?" Sans asks, emptying his beer in three long gulps. "Be honest with me."

The one questioned takes the empty can from his hands and shakes his head in what looks more like disapproval rather than him answering that question. He first warns the skeleton about getting drunk, and reminds him to stay sober if he wants an answer as well as prevent himself from drunk-texting the source of his lovelorn self. When receiving a promise from him in response, he later answers with a 'no' and that he's still the same whenever he came to visit the bar.

"So I'm only different when I'm talkin' about 'em?"

Grillby nods.

"Inna bad way?"

He shakes his head.

"Then…"

Sans is stopped with a hand over his and faced with a stern look, despite the owner of it having no eyes or mouth.

"If they make you happy, then it's alright for you to show it," a regular states, intervening in the conversation. "You're not a lifeless machine. And nobody's one-dimensional either, so you shouldn't force yourself to act the same, strict way all the time. If you want to be all mushy with that human, then so be it. Aren't you the one who always says stuff like 'nothing really matters; in the end, we'll all die'? What's stopping you now of all times? Where's that hardcore nihilist I've known since years ago?

Sans rubs the back of his neck and huffs.

Clearly, neither the regular nor Grillby understood what he truly meant to say with his questions. He didn't mind his relationship with the human, but he also didn't want his old self to be replaced by someone he wasn't, as a result. There were things he didn't want to change about his old self -- things he feared would fade away now that he seemed to be getting into something as complex as a romantic relationship. There were parts of him he needed to keep in case the world were to start over again -- in case something went wrong. He couldn't allow himself to grow soft.

A pat on his shoulder lets him know he's lost himself in those thoughts.

"It's alright to fear change, but don't let that hold you back. If you like that human and they do, too -- Then what's there keeping you from going for it?"

It's not that easy.

Still, he keeps that thought quiet and replies with, "Thanks, but I'll probably have to give that more ti-"

The door of the bar opens to reveal someone new to it, but not so much unknown to Sans, who already finds himself distracted by them. (Y/N) stands in front of the entrance, looking this way and that. Frisk holds on to their hand, while a reusable shopping bag's hung over their parent's arm; a pharmacy's logo and name can be seen stamped on it. The eldest human approaches the area with caution, until their child assures them -- once, twice, and then thrice -- they've been to this place before and that it serves other purposes beyond that of providing alcohol and provoking fights. When they look forward, he meets their eyes and tries to glance away quickly, only to be called out by them soon after. They don't take long to smile wide and bright, wave, and -- finally -- approach his side after he waves back at them.

Rather than giving him whatever's in the bag, they instead let go of Frisk's hand, ask them if they want anything to eat, and give them some money when they sign the word 'fries'. Then, they sit on the stool next to his and settle the bag on their lap. "Come closer, and close your eye sockets," they say, still smiling. "It's your left one, right? It looks really sore already."

He nods and tries to ignore the warmth in his soul when they place a hand over his.

In his favour, they let go of him not long after to disinfect their hands and slip some gloves on when these dry out.

"I-"

"Shh."

(Y/N) holds his chin with their hand and grazes their fingers against his injury, their touch slow and careful as they apply some antibiotic over and around it. They then slide an eye patch on him and assumedly check around for any more bruises, based on the feeling of their hands grazing against his torso, arms, and neck. "The ice pack's in the bag -- Remember to throw it in the freezer when you get home." They touch his chest again, even more gentle this time. "So..." He notices some hesitance when they pull their hand back. "You're not hurt anywhere else?"

He shakes his head, words caught in his throat.

"Alright, but don't look yet."

Doing as told, Sans waits for whatever comes next. He stays still and stiff, until he feels their lips brush close to his eye socket, where they lay a soft, ticklish kiss at. They do the same with his other one and finish it off by kissing his nose cavity.

"Now you can."

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

• • •

...

......

🌋🔥💥 ANNOYING NOTICE TIME 💥🔥🌋

So, here's a summary of all the events happening this month, which will affect Fairytale Complex's update schedule in various ways:

1. I will be rewriting all my other fics that aren't FaiCom, since I'm pretty darn happy and proud of the new writing style I've developed with this fanfic, and so I want to implement it into my older stories (with the exception of the Tom Nook x Reader one -- I'm rewriting that one despite being recent because it started off as a wild, 3 am energy project after finishing with finals, but then I actually had way more fun than I originally anticipated, so I'll be turning it into a long fic just like this one, lol). This means FaiCom will be taking a short, 1 to 2 week break after Arc 2 (Chapter 25) ends, to dedicate some time to all 4 of these stories.

2. I'm taking extracurricular classes/hobby workshops this summer, so I need to tweak my schedule again. This means FaiCom will be changing its schedule back to the old one, composed of weekly updates on Mondays, Wednesdays, and/or Fridays.

3. As mentioned previously, Pride Month is here, so I'll be making some one-shots and drabbles related to it, meaning updates might be slightly less frequent this month. BUT, a good majority of them are FaiCom related ones (and they will be posted on a different book to avoid conflicting with regular updates, too). More on that later on!

• • •

Tag List (Comment or message me if you want to be added to [or removed from] it!)

@the-simp-express

@nektotersh

@disastrous-l0vebug

@therealchickenjoe

@mintyflakes025

@pandaquick

@timelock97

@candle-creeps

@paperb9gs

@merak0

[apenapaperandadoofus]

5 for the song ask 👁

Oh nice! I'll choose the character since you didn't exactly specify hehe I hope you like it!

Prompt from: Give me a character and a Disney song

Kiss the Girl (Yoosung x Fem!MC)

Saeyoung sighed as he laid his head on his hand. His twin brother who was sitting beside him didn't pay any attention and kept his focus on the snacks in front of him. It helped if he focused on only one thing, he still wasn't used to being around a lot of people, specially the type of loud, fancy and extravagant guests that always ended up invited to the RFA party for some reason or another. Saeran didn't exactly want to spend the evening with his brother, god knows he's had too much of that crazy idiot at home, but one of the guests thay you had invited (a self proclaimed vampire hunter that Jumin had recommended) would not stop pestering him with annoying questions, such as "can you actually wall outside on the sun for a bit" or "would you mind taking a bite of this garlic bread, I'm sure you can have some!" Then the breaking point was when the man suddenly said, "let me check your teeth for a bit" and suddenly grabbed his face. That's when Saeran gently pushed the man aside and went to sit next to his brother.

Saeyoung, having noticed that his twin hadn't even so much as cast a glance towards him sighed once again. And then again, this time louder. He opened his mouth to sigh again when Saeran abruptly turned towards him and glared.

"What!? Why in the world won't you let me eat in peace huh?"

Saeyoung sighed again. "I just can't handle it brother. How can a person love another with every fiber of his being, but not have the amount of guts to go and talk to them...?"

"....Are you talking about yourself? Because if you are then I say that they don't deserve the amount of torture you're-"

"Saeran! Oh my darling little brother, no it's not me! Look across the room, towards that little blond boy, shifting nervously and looking at the ground, and then, for a split second, looking at her."

Saeran sighed and did as his brother said, and then he grunted. "You mean Yoosung's obvious crush on MC? It's a surprise she hasn't figured it out yet. Also never call me that again or I promise I'll throw the whole bowl of punch in your face."

"Gah! But you are my darling bro- alright fine fine, SAERAN DON'T GET UP TO GRAB THE PUNCH I'M SORRY!! Anyway the thing is, I'm pretty sure the reason they haven't asked each other out yet is because they're pretty shy. They need some sort of, uh, push you know?"

Saeran glared suspiciously at his brother. "Please don't tell me that you're going to try and get them together-."

"I'm going to get them together! And you are going to help me!"

"Excuse me what-"

"Who are we trying to get together?" Someone asked from behind the twins and they both turned around in surprise. Zen was looking at them with his eyebrows raised and his arms crossed, looking like a mother about to scold her children. Of course, Zen only seemed to be ready to scold Saeyoung, since Saeran wasn't really doing anything.

Saeyoung quickly jumped up from his seat and smiled. "ZEN!! Oh this is perfect!!!! We are going to get Yoosung and MC together!"

Zen looked at Saeran, and he shrugged. Them he looked back at Saeyoung.

"Sev- Saeyoung, listen. These sort of thinga take time alright? Yoosung and MC will get together when they're both ready."

"But they ARE ready, now all they need is just a lil' push! It's all in the name of LOVE!"

Saeran cringed and quickly turned around to keep eating his food. That was certainly more interesting than hearing Saeyoung talk such nonsense.

"Well....hmm...I guess helping them a bit wouldn't hurt." Zen said, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Yes! We need to help those two love birds finally confess to each other! Do you have any ideas Zen? Saeran?"

"Don't get me mixed up in this." The younger twin groaned and kept poking at his food.

Then, Zen snapped his fingers and smiled. "I know! A love song."

"A LOVE SONG!!" Saeyoung repeated excitedly.

"Yes, yes, a romantic song. Recently on this show I've been casted on includes this one couple that like each other but don't have the courage to confess, so their friends set them up to dance together to this very romantic song, and in the end the couple figure out their feelings and confess to each other. We can do that!"

Saeyoung smiled. "Great idea!"

"Alright, then I'll go and talk to the band, be right back!"

Zen quickly walked towards the band that was hired by Jumin to play at the party, and Saeyoung squealed as he shook his brother's shoulder.

"Saeran this is great! We can both help Yoosung finally confess to MC!"

Saeran pushed his brother's hand off and sighed. "And what makes you think I'll help you huh?"

"Well, Yoosung is your friend isn't he? And aren't you annoyed of seeing those two kiddos acting as if they're walking on eggshells when they're with each other, it has to be bothering you."

"...it is but I'm still not going to help you and Zen with your crazy scheme, I bet it's not even going to work."

Saeyoung groaned. "Saeeeeraaaaan please!! Look, I'll buy you some ice cream when were done alright?"

"You can't bribe me with food." He scoffed, trying to sound offended, when obviously he seemed to be thinking about it.

"And I'll get you out of the party earlier. We manage to get Yoosung and MC to at least kiss, and afterwards we leave, get ice cream and then head straight home!"

Saeran stayed quiet for a few minutes before sighing and getting out of the chair, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Fine. Let's get those two dumbasses to kiss."

Saeyoung let out a woop, and soon Zen made his way towards the twins with a big smile on his face. "Alright, we've got the band ready, and I offered myself to sing. Does Yoosung know what we're doing?" He asked.

Saeyoung quickly ran up towards Yoosung, whispered something that made the boy blush, and then shoved him towards you, then he winked and walked over to Zen.

"Now he knows! We're all ready chief."

Zen nodded and made a gesture at the band, and then he opened his mouth to sing,

"JuSeEyYoO-"

"Zen!!!" Saeyoung quickly grabbed the microphone from a very offended Zen, and then cleared his throat.

"What!? It's a classic, besides I'm the singer here you aren't-"

"SHHH!!" Saeyoung said, and then he walked over to the band and whispered something to them.

Saeyoung said, "Watch and learn, I've been preparing for this all my life." Then he pointed at the bongo guy.

"Percussion."

He smiled.

"Strings. Winds. Words." Each time more and more instruments began to play, and Saeyoung made his way to where Yoosung was awkwarly standing beside you.

"There you see her

Sitting there across the way"

Yoosung looked at his friend with a confused expression.

"She don't got a lot to say

But there's something about her..."

"Saeyou-"

"And you don't know why

But you're dying to try

You wanna kiss the girl." He wriggled his eyebrows and Yoosung let out a little yelp.

"Wha-WHAT SAEYOUNG STO-"

"Yoosung?" You asked as you walked towards him. Yoosung blushed and pointed behind him. "S-sorry MC, it's just Saeyoung being...well, Saeyoung."

"Uhm, Yoosung there's no one behind you."

"Wha-WHAT!?"

You smiled at him, still confused. "Why don't I go and get you some punch? I'll be back in a few."

Yoosung watched you walk over to the table, and then he let out another scream once he felt someone whisper in his ear.

"Yes, you want her

Look at her, you know you do

Possible she wants you too

There is one way to ask her

It don't take a word

Not a single word

Go on and kiss the girl"

"Saeyoung I don't know what you're doing but stop, I can't just go up and kiss her."

Saeyoung rolled his eyes, whispering chicken before going to a very uncomfortable Zen and Saeran, holding the microphone towards tnem.

"SING WITH ME NOW!"

"Saeyoung I don't-"

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la

My oh my

Look like the boy too shy

Ain't gonna kiss the girl"

Yoosung blushed. "W-well I am! Maybe I just, I, I don't know!"

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la

Ain't that sad?

Ain't it a shame?

Too bad, he gonna miss the girl!!"

Yoosung felt himself become even redder, from anger or from embarrassment he didn't really know. That's when you suddenly grabbed his arm and smiled.

"Here's some punch...oh Yoosung are you feeling alright? Why don't we go and get some fresh air outside?" You asked, and Yoosung tried his best to smile.

"Y-yes...that's, yeah that's great let's go."

You grabbed Yoosung's hand and led him around the beautiful garden. He gasped as he noticed the lights, the flowers, and the pond that had a bridge to walk across it.

"MC, this...this place is beautiful. You did a great job"

You smiled. "Thank you."

Then, Yoosung gave you a sheepish smile.

"N-not as beautiful as you though." He, of course regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth, but you giggled and told him thanks.

"Why don't we go over the bridge? We can't really see the stars from here since the trees are blocking them, but I'm sure we'll get a better view from there."

As you led the way, Yoosung almost screamed when he noticed a familiar red head pop out from the bushes.

"Now's your moment

Floating in a blue lagoon."

"Saeyoung LeAv- ZEN?!"

"Boy, you better do it soon

No time will be better

She don't say a word

And she won't say a word

Until you kiss the girl" Zen said, and Yoosung groaned as he glared at the two men.

"Guys I...fine. I'll... I'll kiss her...."

Yoosung slowly walked towards you, and the two do you looked up at the sky. You sighed happily, leaning against Yoosung, and he blushed. Then, he heard from behind.

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la

Don't be scared

You got the mood prepared

Go on and kiss the girl"

Yoosung slowly turned around to glare at his friends who were giving him a thumbs up.

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la

Don't stop now

Don't try to hide it how

You want to kiss the girl."

He gasped as he saw Zen and Saeran (who was holding some maracas and looked as if he was about to use them to kill someone) appeared on the bush behind them too!

And then, to make matter worse, suddenly Jumin appeared beside them with a neutral expression on his face and holding Elizabeth in his arms, trying to sing along!

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la

Float along

And listen to the song

The song says kiss the girl!"

You suddenly jumped and looked at Yoosung. "Hey did you hear something just now?" You asked him, but before you could turn around he cupped your face and made you look at him.

"U-uhm no! Nothing just uh, mosquitoes uhm, don't pay any attention to that!"

"Oh but if there's mosquitoes then shouldn't we go back inside? I don't want you to get bitten-"

"NO!" He grabbed your arm and pulled (a bit too hard) making you bump into his chest. You both blushed and Yoosung tried his best to keep his breathing steady.

"MC...."

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la

The music play

Do what the music say

You got to kiss the girl..."

Slowly, Yoosung leaned towards you, his face getting redder and redder.

"You've got to kiss the girl!!" Saeyoung let out some excited squeals as both you and Yoosung slowly got closer and closer.

"Oh, don't you wanna kiss the girl..."

"I want to go back to eat, why's it taking so long, besides I think we shouldn't be spying on a private moment like-."

"Oh shush Saeran! Look they're about to do it!!! Yes Yoosung my boy!!!!"

You placed your hands on Yoosung's shoulder while he cupped your neck and tangled his fingers in your hair.

"MC...." He whispered.

"You've gotta kiss the girl..."

The two of you closed you eyes, now your lips about to touch.

"Go on and kiss the girl"

Yoosung blushed and pressed his lips against yours, only to feel-

A cold splash of water hit his back and he let out a help.

"Wake up idiot. It's 10am already." Saeran glared at Yoosung, who was looking confusedly around the room.

"I-uhm, MC? Wha- no we....I was about to...why am I?"

"Oh you don't remember?" Saeran smirked mischievously at Yoosung, who shook his head.

"Oh this is gonna be fun. Yesterday you were wasted, so wasted that you suddenly got the guts to kiss the MC, mostly thanks to my idiot brother and his stupid song."

"That part happened?"

"I wish it didn't. Anyway, before you were able to go all smoochy smooch with MC-"

"So I DID kiss her! I remember that at least!And then I fainted? But at least I got a kiss! WHEEOP!!!"

Saeran scoffed. "No. You leaned on the old bridge and fell. You were so shocked and embarrassed that you fainted while in the water, so Zen had to jump in and give you CP-"

.

.

.

And so the birds that were casually chilling in Saeyoung's rooftop got the scare of their life as a demonic screech was heard from the house.

Yoosung ended up needing about 5 years of therapy, but thankfully, as time passed, he gathered the guts to finally kiss you (and to not faint afterwards.) Then the two of you started dating, and you sometimes loved to tease him by making him remember that night. You would laugh as Yoosung would stutter and turn red, and then to apologize you'd give him a kiss~

The end!

[httpfandxms]

Exploring a New World (1/30)

Pairing: James T. Kirk x Reader

A/N: This is my very first fanfiction writing. I would really appreciate it if you would not plagiarize any of my work! Please give me your thoughts on this. I accept any suggestions or altercations for this series. If I’ve made mistakes or if something doesn’t make sense please let me know.

Important: The reader is Pike’s daughter, but I did NOT specify if they are biologically related or not (step daughter or adopted). I don’t ever intend to specify because I want poc!readers to be comfortable while reading

This series is based off the Star Trek: Alternate Original Series with actual scenes from the films.

You pushed open the doors to the club which allowed you to hear the full extent of the blaring music. You walked in making your way towards the very back looking for your friends.

As you made your way over to your group of friends you asked, “have any of you seen Uhura?” One nodded and pointed towards the bar. She was talking to a man, but with someone between them seemingly trying to ignore their conversation.

You walked through a small crowd, bumped into a few people on your way to Nyota. You placed a hand over her shoulder as you said, “hey, I figured I’d help you bring everything over.”

She smiled and responded, “thank you,” as she gave you a quick yet comforting hug.

“And who might you be, gorgeous,” the man she was speaking with said just before he pushed himself off the counter. He made his way towards you, but stopped once you were inches apart. You smelled the alcohol coming off his breath as he said, “I’m Jim Kirk.”

You glanced up to Jim realized that the man was actually blond and had the most alluring blue eyes. You along with anyone could get lost in those eyes. Your thoughts were interrupted as Nyota said, “she happens to be way out of your league.” She placed a hand on his chest to add some distance between you two.

“Oh, so that makes you in mine,” he teased as he turned to face Nyota.

“Please you are not her type. You seem more the kind to have sex with farm animals,” you scoffed.

“Well, not only,” he joked which resulted in you and Uhura to whole heartedly laugh. He took a step towards you and leaned forward as he whispered into your ear, “you definitely look like my type and I think I might be yours.”

Your eyes met his and you opened you’re mouth, but no words came out. Four officers approached you. The bald man in the middle ask, “this townie isn’t bothering you right?

“Beyond belief,” Nyota said then finished her drink.

“But its nothing we can’t handle,” you added whilst you waved them off.

“You both could handle me. That’s an invitation,” the blond quipped.

The bald officer barked, “hey, you better mind your manners. Do you have any idea who you’re trying to get with?”

“Relax, cupcake. It was a joke,” Kirk said as he patted man’s chest. He turned back towards you.

The man grabbed Kirk, spun him around to face him and snapped, “hey, farm boy. Maybe you can’t count, but there are four of us and one of you.”

“So get some more guys, and then it’ll be an even fight,” Kirk replied then tapped the man’s face.

The officer grabbed Kirk again and punched his across the face. He fell onto the bar groaning.

“Stop it,” Nyota growled.

Before the officer could hit Kirk in the face again, the blond kicked him in the stomach making him fall over a table. Another man came at Kirk, but he blocked his punches. Kirk got the upper hand and knocked the man out.

“That’s enough,” you pleaded.

A different officer came in and hit Kirk in the face making in spin onto Nyota with his hands on her breast. She pushed him off, but you stepped in and punched him in the face to wipe off that cocky smirk.

The men slammed the blond onto a table and beat him with one punch after the other.

“Guys, he’s had enough,” you yelled.

The man punching Kirk finally dropped him once a whistle was heard. Your eyes widened as you turned to the source of the noise only to see your father, Captain Christopher Pike.

“Outside, all of you. Now” he announced.

A chorus of “yes, sir” was heard as everyone made their way out of the bar. Your father saw you and shook his head as you gave him a shy shrug. Nyota wrapped her arm around yours and you walked out together.

~

The two men were sitting around a small table. “You know, I couldn’t believe it when the bartender told me who you are,” Pike chortled.

“Who the hell am I, Captain Pike,” Kirk mocked.

“You father’s son.”

Kirk ignored his statement and announced, “can I get another one,” to the bartender behind him.

“For my dissertation I was assigned to the U.S.S. Kelvin. Something I admired about your dad, he didn’t believe in no-win scenarios.”

Kirk took out the tissues out of nose and grumbled, “sure learned his lesson.”

Pike continued, “well that depends on how you define winning. You’re here, aren’t you? You know that instinct to leap without looking that was his nature too. And in my opinion, it something Starfleet’s lost.”

“Why are you talking to me man,” Kirk shook his head as he laughed.

“Because I looked up your file while you were drooling on the floor. Your aptitude tests are off the charts, so what is it? You like being the only genius-level repeat-offender in the Midwest?”

“Maybe I love it.”

“So your dad dies, you can settle for a less-than-ordinary life. Or do you feel like you were meant for something better? Something special? Enlist in Starfleet.”

“Enlist,” Kirk chuckled in disbelief. “You guys must be way down on your recruiting quarter for the month.”

Pike eyed Kirk for a moment the said, “you know, you remind me of my daughter. Always has a knack for trouble… and stubborn.”

“Then why aren’t you talking to her right now” Kirk answered back

“Because she actually got up and did something for herself. Rather than waste good potential,” Pike retorted. “Starfleet could use you. You can be an officer in four years, you can have your own ship in eight. You understand what the Federation is, don’t you? It’s important. It’s a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada.”

“We done?”

“I’m done,” Pike responded then stood up. “Riverside shipyard. Shuttle for new recruits leaves tomorrow at 0800.” Pike gave a tight-lipped smile then continued, “your father was captain of a starship for twelve minutes. He saved 800 lives, including your mother’s and yours. I dare you to do better.”

~

Kirk arrived on his bike and stopped near you and your father. He tossed his keys to a passing worker after they complimented his ride. He walked to your father and said, “four years? I’ll do it in three.” He then looked at you and beamed, “hello again, beautiful,” then turned around to enter the shuttle.

Your father tilted his head towards you, “you’ve met Kirk,” he asked with a raised brow.

You cringed as you responded, “yes, I did.” After a moment of silence of waiting for his response you chimed, “ok! I’m going to go and take my seat.” Then you went on the tip of your toes as you gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you in a bit!” He slowly nodded making a face as though he was deep in thought.

On your way up the steps to the shuttle your father stammered, “it wasn’t like a date or anything, right?”

You laughed and shook your head, “I punched him” you reassured. He slowly let out a long breath and gave you a thumbs up.

You giggled slightly and turned on your heels and entered the shuttle. You saw Nyota and went towards her, only to notice that there weren’t any seats available beside her. She gave you an apologetic look and mouthed, “sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you waved her off.

The only visible seats available were near Kirk. You sat beside him though leaving a seat between each other. “How’s your face,” you turned to smile at him. You watched as he opened his mouth only to be interrupted by a female officer and a man who were arguing as they entered the shuttle.

“I told you I don’t need a doctor. I am a doctor,” the man yelled.

“You need to get back to your seat.”

“I had one in the bathroom with no windows.

They kept at it until she said, “sir, for your own safely, sit down, or else I’ll make you sit down!”

That got him to keep quiet and sat down between you and Kirk. The man leaned over to Kirk and stated, “I may throw up on you. I’m choosing you over the beautiful girl beside me.” He motioned to you with his head. You looked down with a small smile as you pretended to not overhear the comment.

“Fair enough, but I think these things are pretty safe,” Kirk remarked.

“Don’t pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in 13 seconds. A solar flare might crop up, cook us in our seats. And wait till you’re sitting pretty with a case of Andorian shingles. See if you’re still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.”

“Well, I hate to break this to you, but Starfleet operates in space,” you chimed in.

“Yeah, well, I got nowhere else to go. The ex wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I’ve got left is my bones,” the man said as he took out a flask and took a sip. He offered to Kirk who accepted.

“Jim Kirk,” he introduced himself as he raised the flask then took a sip.

“McCoy. Leonard McCoy,” the man said as Kirk passed it back.

Leonard offered you the flask which you took, “pleasure to meet you Leonard.” You took a sip and placed it into his awaiting hand.

“You going to tell me, us, your name or should we just keep calling you beautiful,” Kirk smiled.

“It’s Pike, Y/n Pike.”

[greenleafpestcontrolservices]

INSECT LIGHT TRAPS (ILT’S) –  BUG ZAPPERS – FLY LIGHTS

I’ve been in the pest management industry for over 24 years now.  I’m one of the lucky graduates of the Environmental Pest Management Program.  I not only learned from some great professors but also worked for some amazing companies. Ingrained in my DNA and the soul of GreenLeaf Pest Control is that pest management professionals play an extremely important role in public health. We are protectors of public health!  

One of the pests that I dislike the most is flies…..especially when I’m eating! I don’t want to get into a big lecture on how these disgusting insects sponge up fresh moist feces and then vomit on your food.  Let’s just say, flies have known vectors of foodborne illnesses, and therefore, pose a risk to the public.  Remember the Pepto Bismol commercial “upset stomach…..diarrhea!”

foodborne illnesses, and therefore, pose a risk to the public are known for pests vectors. To keep our food supply safe, food processing facilities and their pest management partners have a clear objective – keep pests out and if they get in, use monitoring and control strategies to eliminate them. This is particularly true for insect light traps (ILTs). ILTs are used to monitor and control one of our highest risk pests in regard to food safety – FLIES.

BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND

Gone are the days when the Technician would show up routinely to fog, ULV/ULD, bomb a facility to control flies. We simply know better now and these fogging’s never addressed the root cause of the fly issue. In addition, the over-application of pesticides posed risks to human health and food safety. In a nutshell, the spray and pray model wasn’t the right approach. An integrated, when looking at fly control multipronged approach needed. One key aspect of fly management is the use of Insect Light Traps (ILT’s).  

WHY USE INSECT LIGHT TRAPS?

The purpose of using light traps is to monitor the populations of a particular flying insect. Again, these are powerful monitoring tools and will likely not magically fix your fly problem.

TWO COMMON TYPES OF INSECT LIGHT TRAPS (ILT’S)

While both styles use light to attract these pests, they differ in what happens to the insect once it enters the trap.

Glue boards style units capture insects

Electrical grid units (AKA Zappers)

ILTs that use glue boards, the insect is drawn to the trap’s light and then caught on the glue board’s sticky surface.

ILTs that use an electrical grid, the insect is drawn to the trap and then electrocuted and collected in a tray below.

Insect light traps are designed to offer ongoing monitoring of flying insect populations and provide some level of control. Many types of insects can be attracted to light traps, and a survey of a light trap’s catch tray or glue-board can tell you a lot about what is happening in that facility.

As the name suggests, it’s the special bulbs that attract insects.  The blue light emits ultraviolet (UV) wavelengths. Often referred to as

“black light,” its wavelength is typically between 300 and 400 nanometers.

WHERE TO USE LIGHT TRAPS

Light traps can generally be used just about anywhere, but a few variables do apply to each situation:

The client’s attitude is important with regard to his or her expectations about how the traps will be used. The traps should not be viewed as control mechanisms, because they probably will not eliminate all of the flying insects in the facility.

Sanitation is also very important in the control effort. Once the device is used to identify the problem and point it out to the client, the traps then become valuable monitoring devices.

In Canadian facilities, there are some general guidelines to use light traps. In general, these regulations have been designed to prevent contamination of food with insects or insect parts (that’s the extra crunch you don’t want).

The size of the light trap can make a difference in its attractiveness and should be considered when purchasing light traps. Certainly, The intensity of emitted light will have some effect on the trap’s attractiveness. As the light UV output decreases, it is less attractive to insects.

ONGOING BULB MAINTENANCE

There are two ways of testing the intensity of the light. One way is to replace the bulbs with new ones at regular intervals. As a general rule of thumb, In peak season May they replaced annually

You can also use a meter that will measure the ultraviolet output of the bulbs and tell you when their output is decreasing.

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

The most aspect use of light traps is arguably where they placed. Many times, the placement will depend on the actual conditions you are working under. In most cases, you are trying to head off the introduction of these pests, placing them low along walls protected from damage, will work best in capturing flying insects.

At GreenLeaf we are always concerned about a professional appearance. This also goes for the products that we purchase and install at a client’s location. Not all ILT’s need to look so commercial and ugly. Light traps vary considerably in appearance these days. Wall sconces have become an interesting addition to the styles of traps available, and certainly are more aesthetically pleasing than hanging glue sticks or flypaper from ceilings. If you’re a restaurant, QSR or have a client-facing business these lights are ideal for you.

ILT MAINTENANCE AND COSTS

The large industrial fly light traps are manufactured in various sizes and typically emit anywhere from 30 to 80 watts of energy. GreenLeaf only uses Safety Coated shatterproof bulbs in all our ILT’s. Having said that, this is a requirement for all food facilities (Yes, I’m referring to you…..bad pest control companies)!

As mentioned earlier, most manufacturers recommend replacing bulbs once a year. This is a good rule of thumb, but consider the situation where the ambient UV light has changed, or if new lights have been installed in a remodelled area. Either situation can affect the light competition, thus hampering the effectiveness of the fly light trap. Using the UV-A Meter may be a good idea to monitor these situations.

Cleaning and recording trap capture also takes time. Reports should be filed on what is being caught and what implications this may have on increasing sanitation problems or outside influences on the facility. As with any pest control program, the success of a fly control and monitoring program, using fly light traps, is often related to the time spent at each job. As the saying goes…..time is money.

THIRD-PARTY AUDITING STANDARDS

Fortunately, our third-party auditing bodies have very clear standards on ILT placement in relation to food and the impact it has on food safety. Some auditing groups specify how many feet should stand between food and ILTs. For example, #AIB and #Primus GFS state that does not place ILTs within ten feet of any food, whether it’s raw, processed food, etc. On the other hand, #NSF Cook & Thurber say eight feet should be the minimum distance.

Not all auditing groups give you a distance; they are effectively supporting the same standard in using the language “placed so as not to contaminate the food” within their requirements. This is an important placement consideration because ILTs should attract flying insects towards them, and not towards food.

ILT RISKS

There can be a risk of flying insects dying and then falling out of the device. This is particularly true for electrocution-style ILTs, where the electrocution may cause the insect to explode, potentially allowing insect fragments to fall outside of the collection tray. Never placed ITLs near food and never above food and food surfaces. The risk of escaping insect parts emphasizes the need for the distance between electrocuting ILTs and any food source.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Daniel Mackie aka Mr. Know Bugs is the VP – Quality Assurance at Greenleaf Pest Control. With over 24 years in the pest protection industry. Mackie is a Toronto, Kitchener / Waterloo, Vaughan and GTA pest control expert. Daniel Mackie is well-known as an industry go-to guy, an innovator of safe, effective pest control solutions, and is a regular guest on HGTV. Mackie, along with business partner Sandy Costa, were the first pest control professionals in Canada to use detection dogs and thermal remediation to eradicate bed bugs. In his free time, he is an avid gardener and beekeeper. According to Mackie: “We are Protects or Public Health”

[nikibogwater]

The City Never Sleeps--a Tales of Arcadia fanfiction

“Moving to New York City is no easy task, and Douxie's been burning the candle at both ends for the past month in order to make ends meet. Fortunately, he has a family waiting for him every night when he comes home.”

Special thanks to @poetryinmotion-author for beta reading and providing me with the title!

So yes, this is my coping mechanism after the emotional trauma of Wizards. A little Found Family fluff to ease my screaming soul. Read on AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830517

Or under the cut:

Why the hell was living in New York City so expensive?

Douxie had started this latest venture with at least some optimism. Protect the tiny sorceress and keep an eye out for any suspicious magical activity that could point to the return of the Arcane Order, all while remaining as inconspicuous as possible. It wasn’t that different from what he’d been doing for the last nine-hundred years. 

Except for the damn cost of living. 

Arcadia Oaks hadn’t exactly been low-rent either, but at least he’d been able to manage by juggling two part-time jobs and occasionally passing himself off as a streetside fortune teller (humiliating as that was) whenever finances got particularly tight. He’d had plenty of time to do his nightly patrols of the streets, chase down any rogue magical creatures, set new stasis traps, and be home in time to microwave dinner and pass out on his sofa-bed for seven hours before the routine began again the next morning. But New York City was a different monster. 

He’d chosen this place for a few very good reasons. First, it was on the other side of the continent from Arcadia. Provided he’d covered their tracks right, the Arcane Order would have to scour any number of miles of the country before they could even begin to narrow down his position here. Second, the presence of magic in New York City was borderline undetectable. The area was so choked with noise, pollution, traffic, and people that picking out a magical signature from the chaos would be practically impossible. Third, (and perhaps this was the weakest reason, if he was being honest with himself) he had never been there before. Douxie had done some traveling in his centuries-long life, but somehow New York City had never ended up on his itinerary. If he was going to be immortal, he wanted to make the most of it and see the big sights. Up until now, he’d been stuck in Arcadia, trying to keep an eye on the magical stirrings there (and fuzzbuckets, there were a lot of them). Once he was free to go where he pleased, of course he was going to pick somewhere he genuinely wanted to be. 

At least two of those reasons had been good ones, but that didn’t change the fact that paying for a studio apartment in New York City and feeding himself, Archie, and occasionally Nari (she only ate on days when she could not simply absorb energy from the sun) with no high-demand career skills to speak of was a herculean task. He’d had to take on three minimum-wage jobs just to make ends meet, and sleep? Well, he counted himself lucky if he got four hours in a single night. 

Which landed him here, stumbling up to the door of their ramshackle apartment, fiddling with an ordinary keyring in order to keep up appearances should anybody walk by while he undid the twelve magical seals he had placed when he left this morning. He let himself in with a groan, slammed the door behind him, and somehow dredged up enough energy to replace the seals before he slid to the floor, utterly spent. What time was it? He’d gotten off work at 1:30, right? Or was he mixing up tonight with last night? Wait, was today Thursday or Friday? Fuzzbuckets, he could barely string two thoughts together in his head. He groaned again and pressed his fists against his bloodshot eyes. It was pitch black inside the apartment, and the only sound came from the small heating unit in the corner. 

But he wasn’t alone. He felt a familiar form brush against his folded legs, and heard Archie’s welcoming purr close to him. Douxie sighed and blindly reached out, groping for a moment before his Familiar pressed his furry head against his waiting fingers. 

“Did anything happen t’day?” Douxie slurred quietly. At this point, Archie no longer needed him to specify “anything magic related that could potentially be dangerous.” 

“Nothing. All clear,” the cat told him, stepping into his lap. “Though I can’t say the same for you. I haven’t seen such a breakout since the fifteenth century.” 

“What?” Douxie raised a hand to his face and felt his cheek, which was peppered with tiny red bumps. “Fuzzbuckets,” he moaned, letting his hand fall. “Think it’s the stress. I don’t remember the last time I slept through the night.” There were a few minutes of silence as Douxie stroked his friend’s fur, knowing he should move to his mattress in the corner, but too exhausted to care if he just passed out here. 

“Douxie?” 

His eyes slid open as he heard a small voice at his side (when had his eyes closed?) and saw Nari crouched beside him. She was wearing one of his old t-shirts, which was comically large on her tiny frame, and a part of him suddenly wished he could afford to buy her nicer clothes. He was her guardian now, he should at least be able to provide her with that. Then again, she had spent most of her considerably long life wearing enchanted armor from the Eternal Forest, so maybe she didn’t care about not having brand-name PJs. Right now, her eyes were sweeping over his face critically, her brow pinching with worry. Oh right, she was probably waiting for him to say something. 

“H’llo,” he mumbled, his eyes closing again. 

“Your aura is so weak,” Nari whispered, her hand coming to rest on his chest above his heart, where she could feel his magic give a pitiful, fluttering pulse beneath her fingers. “You are pushing yourself too far.” There was an element of reproach in her soft voice.

“Got no choice,” Douxie replied. “Have to keep you safe.” He heard her take in a sharp breath as though he had struck her. His lids flew open and he saw her fiddling with her hands and looking ashamed. “I....I didn’t mean...” He forced himself to sit up, pausing for a moment when his vision swam and his brain flopped around his skull like a dying Nyarlagroth. “Nari, this isn’t your fault. I just....It’s hard to make ends meet, that’s all.”

“You came here because of me,” she argued quietly, still refusing to look at him. “Because you thought I would be safe here.”

“I....Yeah. But it’s not your fault the rent’s so high. ‘M fine, I just need to sleep.” He shooed Archie off his lap and somehow managed to get to his feet, though the world spun around him and his knees wobbled like jello. Nari reached out to help him, but he ignored her offer (it wasn’t like she could provide much support, seeing as she only came up to his waist), and stumbled over to the mattress on the floor in the corner, falling onto it with a rough sigh. 

“Your shoes are still on,” Archie informed him, coming to sit by his head. Douxie hummed noncommittally and did nothing. A moment later, he felt Nari untangling the laces of his hightops and sliding them off of his feet. Archie curled up in the crook of his shoulder, his purring filling the wizard’s ears and silencing his disjointed thoughts. Nari draped a blanket over him, pausing for a moment to rest her small hand on top of his uncombed hair. He felt her thumb rub a few circles against his scalp before she pulled away and stood up to return to her own bed on the other side of the room. Douxie was asleep before she’d even crossed the floor. 

*****

Douxie found his eyes opening twenty minutes before his phone alarm was set to go off. He felt oddly rejuvenated for someone who had worked himself to the bone yesterday and only fallen into bed at quarter past two. He double checked the time on his phone, wondering if he’d somehow slept through his alarm. 6:13 am. He rolled out of bed, careful not to disturb Archie, who was sprawled out next to him, paws twitching as he dreamed. He glanced over at Nari, who was barely visible within a tightly-wound cocoon of blankets, her antlers the only easily distinguishable part of her. He could sense her aura, but it was dim, and scarcely pulsing, which meant she was quite sound asleep. Satisfied with the knowledge that his family was comfortable and at peace for the moment, he slipped out onto the tiny balcony, shivering as the cold embraced him. He left the door ajar a few inches in case Archie woke up and decided to join him, and zipped up his rumpled hoodie, before casting a glance around him.

The sky was a silvery grey, and he knew that the sun was peeking over the horizon at his back. The balcony faced west, and had a less-than-stunning view of a dank alleyway. It was barely wide enough for three people, and nearly half of it was occupied by Nari’s rapidly growing collection of houseplants and herbs. Douxie sat on the floor, crossing his legs beneath him, and leaned back against the brick wall of the apartment building. He gazed up at the slowly lightening sky, mind curiously blank, though not for want of energy. There was something about the stillness of the early morning that put him in a state of silence. Almost as though he were listening for something. 

Or someone. 

His heart twisted sharply in his chest, and for once, he let himself acknowledge it. He’d spent many early mornings like this in Camelot, perched on a battlement, watching the sunrise, waiting for the sound of his master calling him to his chores. Back then, he had dreaded hearing Merlin’s voice, knowing that it would be the end of the brief momentary peace he had carved for himself from the stillness of the morning. But now....Now he’d give anything to hear his master calling his name again. 

Something pressed up against his knee, and he looked down to find Archie’s bespectacled gaze meeting his own. Without a word, Douxie opened his arms and let his Familiar settle into place on his lap. Douxie wrapped him up in his arms, clinging to his presence, suddenly acutely aware of how much his heart was aching, and Archie purred in understanding. The cat was warm against his chest, a physical reminder that although he had lost a great deal these many years, he wasn’t alone.

The door creaked, and Douxie looked up to find a very sleepy-looking Nari stepping out to join them. 

“You’ll catch a cold out here,” Douxie scolded wearily, taking note of her bare arms and legs. She responded with a disinterested hum and rubbed one of her eyes blearily. Douxie sighed and held out an arm to her. She flopped down next to him and curled up against his side, one hand coming to rest above his heart, feeling his magic swirling and pulsing within. 

“Your aura was twisting. You were sad,” she mumbled as he tucked her closer with his arm. 

“...Maybe a little,” Douxie admitted. “I didn’t think you could feel that in your sleep.” 

“Never try to hide anything from an ancient sorceress,” Archie advised from his place on Douxie’s lap. “Especially one who likes you.” Douxie breathed a quiet chuckle and gave his Familiar a scratch behind the ears. There was a moment of companionable silence between the three of them. 

“...You enchanted my sleep, didn’t you?” Douxie said suddenly, looking down at Nari. She shifted, almost guiltily, and nodded. 

“She does that several times a week, actually,” Archie put in. Nari opened her eyes long enough to send him the most resentful glare she could muster. 

“Tattletale,” she muttered. The cat merely shrugged. 

“...Thank you,” Douxie murmured. “I don’t think I could’ve survived this past month without either of you.” 

“We’re going to be okay, Douxie,” Nari said through a yawn. “I believe in you. You’ll find a better job soon, and the Order will never find us.”

“You think?” Douxie asked lightly. The wood nymph nodded sleepily against his chest. “Well, I suppose there’s no arguing with you, is there?” He squeezed her shoulder fondly. 

“You argue with me all the time,” Archie pointed out, turning a few circles and settling more comfortably on Douxie’s crossed legs. “If I were any less gracious, I might accuse you of playing favorites.” 

“Oh, I do play favorites, Archie. You’re my favorite person to argue with.” Archie huffed and flicked his tail, but Douxie knew he was smiling without having to look. 

The mage held his small family close, staring up at the sky that was turning more blue with every passing minute, no longer feeling the pervading chill. He couldn’t say what the future would bring. He couldn’t promise that everything would work out. But he did know, beyond the slightest shadow of a doubt, that he would fight to save the world a hundred times over, work himself until he was nothing but skin and bone,  if it meant he could have more moments like this. 

[cookieek]

Chapter 12: In which there’s hugs

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 Epilogue Ao3 Wattpad

Harriet looked through her window at the night sky, or more exactly at it’s many many stars that shone bright in it. She lifted her finger to aimlessly count them, to follow the lines of the Big Dipper over and over again. It looked like a pan, or like a carriage without any horses, she wondered what it was that pulled it if it didn’t have any horses, or bulls? Wasn’t there a star-sign for a bull? If there was, she could not find it. Maybe there was an entirely unknown creature that pulled the carriage, but then where was it going? 

In the middle of her pondering her eyes caught the sight of what she had actually gone to the window to look for, a shooting star.

Harriet excitedly climbed up on the windowsill, closed her eyes and made a wish. 

“I wish... that I could shoot fire out my fingers!” She thought as loud as she could, she wasn’t supposed to say wishes out loud, but the star had to be able to hear it somehow.

She sat like that for a few seconds, waiting for... Well the story her nanny had told her never really specified what it was supposed to feel like when a wish was granted, but she thought, considering her wish, that her fingers would at least get warm.

The warmth never came.

She opened her eyes, and she was no longer on her windowsill, but on a pile of pillows. Surrounded by ladies in fancy dresses ogling her with curious and cautious looks in their eyes. One of them leaned over to whispered something to the woman besides her, and the two of them barely stifled laughter.

Harriet tried to scoot away from the women, maybe hide in the pillows, but as she moved two cold hands came from behind her and took a hold of her face. Or more precisely, her cheeks. Harshly pinching them as a voice behind her giggled.

“My cute little baby sister~” the voice cooed in a sickly sweet tone. The fingers digging into her flesh, threatening to break her skin. 

So cold.

Harriet started trashing around in pain, trying to pull the hands away from her, and screaming at the top of her lungs.

The voice only giggled more.

“Well aren’t we fuzzy today?” The hands moved to clamp her mouth shut.

There was a small chorus of mumbles coming from the ladies watching her.

“Oh, don’t judge her to hard.” The voice said, as the hands pushed her back towards the women. “My poor baby sister just doesn’t understand this sort of thing. Or well, she doesn’t understand most things, outside of her silly fantasies.”

The women broke out into giggles along with the voice. Harriet could barely made out singular words as they started to chatter loudly.

“Child” “Simpleminded” “Stupid”

She felt as if she was freezing, her hands shaking and goosebumps forming on her arms.

“But, that’s fine!” The voice continued. “I’ll happily lead her to what’s right, she is after all my cute and sweet little sister!”

Harriet wanted to curl into a ball. But she couldn’t as the cold hands pulled her up to stand straight and one of them grabbed her by the jaw to look at the chattering women.

“Now, I told my friends how well your singing lessons have been going and they are so excited to hear you preform to them.”

“Yes!” One of the ladies shouted harshly. “Sing for us song-bird!”

The other women giggled once again as they stared at her, their eyes seeming to grow to overtake their faces.

“Sing! Sing! Sing! Sing!”

Harriet shook as she hung limply in her sisters cold grasp.

“Be a good little sister and sing~!” 

Her sisters hair started coming into view and so did her face, as she slowly bent over Harriet, a wide smile on her face that literary went from ear to ear.

And then everything combusted into flames.

It was finally warm.

The flames licked her skin, but it didn’t hurt. 

It was... Comforting.

~

-

Arthur was surprised to find that he had woken up before Edda, as well as that she was sleeping soundly, curled up against his chest. He didn’t know how or at what point of the night she had ended up in his arms, but he wasn’t in the position to really complain. Especially as she unconsciously snuggled even closer to him, pressing her soft cheek against his chest, as he moved to repositioned himself.

He felt his heart jump with joy, looking at the soft smile that crossed her face as she cuddled against him. With a content sigh he gently combed his hand though her hair and looked down  where their hands still laid intertwined and bound together. 

He took a second to study her hand, he had before been able to feel the slight callouses of her skin, but now he could properly see the scarring on her hand. There was something strange about Eddas hands though. Being a woman with her profession, constantly picking up herbs from the ground and wavering a knife around doing it, rough hands where to be expected. Eddas hands however, while rough, still had a softness to them, like of those of the princesses he had rescued. 

It was odd, but then again, so was Edda as a whole. Which didn’t feel like that much of a bad thing anymore.

He shrugged and returned to enjoying the moment. This was after all what he had hoped to do with her last evening.

Then again, Edda had seemed pretty opposed to the idea herself, so it was probably a good idea to distance himself from her before she woke up. He didn’t wan’t to cause her alarm and stress.

He did his best move away from her without disturbing her sleep, after all that had happened yesterday he was sure she needed it. But as he pulled away from her she jolted forward and threw her free arm around him in a tight hug. 

“No! don’t g-“ her panicked voice cut off as her eyes shot open.

 There was a second of complete silence, as she stared at him with her mouth gaping.

“M- Edda?” He asked, concerned by how she was acting.

“I’m so sorry.” She said as she pushed herself away from Arthur and sat up. “I don’t know what, came over me. Didn’t mean to invade your space like that.” 

She turned herself around, or tried to, her hand was still tied to his, making fully turning away from him difficult. So she just ended up sitting with her back to him, curled into a small ball, and with her bound hand laying awkwardly behind her. She seemed to be breathing irregularly.

Arthur could immediately see that something was off.

“Miss Edda? What’s bothering you?” He asked, putting his hand on hers.

“Nothing,” she said dismissingly. “I just, had a bad dream.”

Arthur scooted closer to her and took a proper hold of her hand, interlinking his fingers with hers again. For a spit second Edda tensed up, but then she relaxed and carefully caressing his hand with her thumb.

“You wanna talk about it?” Arthur asked, hovering a bit behind her. He wanted to comfort her with an embrace, but he didn’t want to scare her with a sudden hug.

“...it’s fine, dreams aren’t real and can’t hurt you. I don’t know why it bothered me so much in the first place.” She let out a small laugh, but it was a lifeless and cold laugh, not like her normal one at all. 

Arthur bit the inside of his cheek, so what if the dream wasn’t real! The fact that she seemed seriously distressed by it was reason enough to be concerned about it in his book. He let out a small silent huff and made his way around Edda so he could see her flushed face, which he carefully took into one of his now small dwarf hands.

“You shouldn’t beat yourself up over getting scared by a nightmare Miss Edda, it’s only natural.” He took a small step closer holding her bound hand up to his chest. “Even good ol Arthur here has gotten pretty spooked by a fair share of dreams.”

She snorted a bit at him, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. 

“Oh? Even the big and mighty Arthur has had nightmares?” She snarked softly.

“I know, hard to believe.” He said with a small shrug. “But you should know that, be it from horrible monsters or nightmares, I’m here to protect you.” He knocked their bound hands against his chest for emphasis and shot her the most charming smile he could muster, hoping it would give the intended effect.

And it did as Edda bursted out in an almost cackling laughter, wheezing as she lifted her free hand up to her cheek and put her hand on top of his, a tint of red still resting on her face. Now that was her real laugh alright. As she seized her laughter she looked at him with a wide toothy grin on her lips. 

“I guess, I’ll hold you to that then, Mr Hero.” She said, tilting her head to the side, leaning into his palm. “Though I do have to ask how you’re planning to, protect me, from the second thing? The nightmares?”

“Well,” He took a small but deliberate step closer. “I dunno exactly what causes nightmares, but it seems to me that a lot of it has to do with fear and feeling unsafe.”

“An interesting theory.” Edda said, raising her eyebrows at him and removing her hand from her cheek to gesture with it. “Do go on.”

“That means in order to fight of these nightmare I have to make sure you feel safe.” Arthur said, somewhat proud of his deduction. “And it so happens, that that’s a speciality of yours truly.” He puffed out his chest and flexed his arm muscles, to get his point across. 

“Of course it, is...” the snark in her voice quickly died down as a somewhat conflicted look crossed her face briefly, her unbound hand once again moving up to lightly caress the hand he had on her cheek. “Huh, you know what? I don’t actually doubt that.” A small genuine smile spread across on her lips, which was enough to give Arthur a short pause, just to take it in.

“Gorgeous...” he mumbled under his breath, his hand dropping limply down from her cheek.

“Huh? What?” Edda asked, confusion filling her eyes, followed by a look of disappointment crossing her face as his hand went down.

Arthur snapped back to reality, took a step forward and cleared his throat. Edda did strike him as a girl who liked to take things slow, maybe going all out with gorgeous was to much, to fast. He wasn’t really one to dial in his courting, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least try for the sake of her comfort.

“Your smile M’lady,” He said as he reached towards her face to once again caress it. “It’s very... cute.”

As the words exited his mouth, she flinched back as if he as burned her, a brief look of terror and barely contained rage crossing her face. The look quickly melted away however, to a more apologetic and sad one.

“Miss Edda?!” He asked in shock, the look she had shot him, even if it had only lasted for a few milliseconds, felt like a arrow going trough his chest. 

“I’m sorry,” she said to him, trying to curl back in on herself. Trying being the keyword since her hand was, still tied to his. “I guess the nightmare still got me a bit messed up. I usually don’t react like that.”

He understood that the nightmare had affected her, but not that it had affected her this strongly. He wanted to know what had happened in it, but since she was clearly not budging on that, he just had to make good on what he had been bragging about a few moments prior.

He took a small step closer to her and lifted his unbound arm, letting it hover above her shoulder.

“Edda?” he whispered softly. “Can I hug you?”

She lifted her head up to look at him, and after a few seconds she nodded, cautiously moving her free arm out to welcome his embrace.

And then he hugged her, feeling her once again, even as he was in his dwarf form, melt into his embrace. He slowly stoke his hand against her back as he heard her contently sigh into his shoulder. Their bound hands were still entangled, and as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze she responded in kind.

They sat like that for a while, just listening to the sound of the wind and enjoying each other’s company. Eventually they moved apart, Edda apologising for holding him too long and Arthur just waving away her worries with a small chuckle.

In order to do any of their morning routines they first needed to get rid of the rope tying them together. So Edda started working on untying the rope around their wrists, her fingers softly grazing over his hand as she worked on it. Her touch so soft, so gentle, just like it had been back when she was healing him by the river. And just like back then, he decided to bask in it.

After that was done they both went on with their separate morning routines, and breakfast. That being said, during their separate morning routines, Arthur could definitely admit to occasionally gaze over to see what Edda was doing and if she was looking as he did his morning training. He decided to get over to her again, as he saw her start to unwrap her cast, asking her if she needed any help with it. She just smiled at him and shook her head.

“Hey, would you look at that!” Edda said with a wide grin as she revealed her foot to the morning sun. “It’s finally gone!” 

And so it was, the mark that had been practically indented into the flesh of Eddas foot had completely disappeared without a trace. Arthur leaned over and touched her ankle, feeling that, yes, even the indent from the fingertips were gone. 

Edda hitched her breath at his touch, making Arthur’s head shoot up.

“Does it still hurt Miss Edda?” He asked, concern filling him.

Edda pulled her foot back a bit and let out a small laugh.

“No no, it’s fine, you just startled me a bit, that’s all.” She smacked her ankle a few times with her palm. “See? All good.”

He let out a small sigh of relief. 

“That’s great, I-“

He was cut off by the sound off rustling and hurried footsteps coming from the tall grass that grew on one side of the camping ground. Both he and Edda immediately tensed up, and he quickly turned to stand between the sound and her, his hand resting on the handle of the sword.

“Stand back Edda! I’m not letting you get harmed again!” He declared, focusing his eyes towards the direction of the noise, which was steadily growing in volume.

“What?” Edda said. “Arthur I-“

The tall grass split in two.

And out of it fell a small child.

Arthur let go of his grip on Excalibur, feeling just a little bit stupid over getting protective over nothing, but then he noticed the tail sticking out of the child’s skirt.

He barely had the time to yelp in surprise as the creature sprang back to life again, scurrying towards them on all fours. Arthur immediately reached to his sword again, but a gentle but firm grip on his arms stopped him.

He shot a surprised look up towards Edda who only gave him a stern one in return, he got the message and dropped his arms.

“Hey little miss!” Edda said loudly towards the creature who just had scuttled past the remains of the protection circle that Edda just had cleaned up. “My friend here isn’t from here, so it would be great if you keeps the, crawling on all fours bit, to the minimum. You’re kinda freaking him out a bit.”

“What? No it isn’t,” Arthur said defensively.

“Aww!” The creature exclaimed, sounding disappointed. “But it’s always the guys that aren’t from here that’s funniest to scare.” She stood up, but then plopped down into a sitting position, crossing her arms as she did. 

Arthur could now see the large ears she had, not unlike those of stone troll, but smaller in scale, obviously.

Edda let out a small laugh besides him.

“I’m sure they are little miss,” she said. “but can you please find it in your heart to give up this one opportunity to scare someone.”

The troll pouted.

“Fine, it wasn’t like I was going to do anything though.” She said, but then she brightened up a bit. “That means you owe me a favour though!“

“What?” Arthur exclaimed.

“Yes!” The troll girl said giggly. “Ohh! Do you have some of that strawberry hard candy that the humans have been selling on the market recently?! I’ve really wanted to taste one of those!? Oh and-“ 

“Nini!!!”

The troll shot up to her feet.

“Ah shoot, she’s already caught up?” She frantically started looking around before she set her sights on Edda. “Hide me!” She rushed forward and ran behind her.

“Whoa, hold on there kiddo.” Edda stumbled back a bit, but Arthur was quick to his feet to steady her with his hands.

He looked up at her, asking for, well, anything. He realised that felt uncomfortably out of his depth, and that she usually seemed to know how to deal with these creatures better than he could.

Edda however looked just as confused as he did, and only sent him a small shrug, as if to say; ‘just go along with it’.

He didn’t get to much time to really figure out anything, as a figure suddenly appeared on the road. 

It looked to be a young, attractive woman, with large ears and a tail sticking out of her skirt just as the small troll now hiding behind Edda, but that was somehow not the most striking thing about the woman. No, that was the fact that she was pulling a big cart of lumber, clearly originally built to be drawn by no less than two horses, all by herself.

Arthur was just barely able to snap himself out of his gaping, remembering what had happened last time he was caught doing so, as the lady troll looked over at him and Edda. 

“Oh! Hello there!” She said with a wide smile.

“Good morning mrs!” Edda said loudly, and Arthur felt a gentle nudge from her to his arm. It took him a few seconds to remember what she wanted him to do. Him glancing over to see her giving the troll woman a curtsy however made it click in his head and he bowed towards the troll as well.

“Good morning ma’am!” 

The troll grinned amusedly at them.

“Thank you, though I feel it would be a bit better if I could find my niece. That rowdy girl has a nose for trouble and I told my sister I would keep her out of it during this outing,” she spoke to them dropping the rains of the cart to lean casually against it. “You haven’t happened to see her by the by? She’s small, but loud enough to make her pretty hard to miss despite that.”

“Y-“Arthur felt something thin and long slap against his back, making him almost stumble forward where it not for Edda quickly putting on of her hands on his shoulder to steady him. 

“You ok?” She whispered to him in a concerned voice. 

A small hissy whisper then came from behind Edda.

“I’ll curse you to glow in the dark if you tattle on me! Then you can never play hide and seek good ever again!” The troll girl said.

“You’ll what?!” Arthur exclaimed without really thinking, making the troll child let out a long whine as laughter erupted from the troll woman who was watching the entire thing unfold.

“That’s quite the unfortunate hiding place you’ve found Nini!” She wheezed a bit before shaking her head. “Not sure why you even tried though, I could tell were you were hiding the moment I spotted your tail sticking out from it.”

“It was? Shoot.” Nini huffed as she stepped out of her hiding spot, holding her tail securely in her hand.

“Speaking of tails,” The troll woman continued as she beckoned Nini towards her. “Haven’t your mother told you to not hit people?“ She looked up and made eye contact with Arthur. “That did look like one mighty smack, are you holding up okay little man?”

“Ha, yeah, I’m fine,” Arthur said, lifting up his hand to touch Edda’s, which still was on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ve had worse.” Maybe that was a little bit of a lie, his back still did sting somewhat, but then again his shirt seemed to have, thankfully, taken the brunt of the attack. He didn’t know a child that size could hit so hard though, even if the child in question wasn’t human.

Edda furrowed her eyebrows at him, clearly not buying it.

“Well, that’s good to hear!” The troll lady said, she lifted up Nini by the back of her shirt and put her in the cart with the lumber. “Now you stay there, you little mud worm.” She wagged her clawed finger at the child.

“But it’s so boring up here!” Nini whined dramatically, sprawling her body across the lumber. “All the insects here talk about is whether oak or birch is the ‘superior’ tree.”

“Oh yeah, who’s in the lead so far?”

As the trolls banter went on Edda hunched down by Arthur.

“Are you sure your ok? You know I can help if you’re hurt.” She said, looking at him with her soft, but worried eyes.

“Feeling your sweet touch is already healing me plenty.” He murmured out, utterly lost in her soft gaze.

“What?”

“Hey you two!” The troll woman shouted at them, prompting Edda to shoot back up to face her. “Where you headed?”

“Well, uh,” Edda started, sounding confused. “To Bergeleva mrs?”

“Great! We’re on our way to visit family over there, and well,” The troll lady gestured towards Nini on the cart. “I wouldn’t mind some company and extra eyes to keep this little monster in place.” She grinned a friendly grin.

There was a small beat of silence, Arthur looked up at Edda who’s eyes were wide, in what seemed to be wonder. 

“We would-” Edda stopped herself to look down at him, as if asking for his opinion. Arthur shrugged, he wouldn’t mind getting a ride. Edda nodded, looked back up towards the troll lady and gave her a curtsey. “We would be happy to.”

—

Edda had never gotten the chance to travel with a troll before, it was sort of exciting, even if the logs weren’t the most comfortable things to sit on. 

Arthur had asked about the logs after a few minutes of travel, apparently curious about what they had to do with them visiting family. The troll lady with the really pretty smile, or Snurra as she had told them to call her, had laughed at him and told them she was planning to do some trading in the town while she was there, and that’s what the lumber was for.

“Do you think they have some of that strawberry candy! Oh oh oh! Or cool glass pearls!?” Nini had piped in, followed by her excitedly showing off her collection of glass pearls to the two of them, she was still playing with them as Edda started to look around in her bag for the small glass bottle she had quickly filled with water from the pump, before they had gone to board the cart.

Thinking about that made her feel a bit warm. She had first expected to have to climb on the cart on her own, but before she knew it Snurra had picked her up. In her strong, powerful, arms. Trolls were, really strong, even if they weren’t stone trolls. 

And then she had, after securing her grip on Edda, making her let out an undignified squeak, hoisted her up on the cart. Edda had just sat there for a moment, completely dazed. Only being able to think of the dazzling smile Snurra had given her as she lifted her up.

She was only snapped out of her daze by Arthur being dropped into her lap. Which honestly did nothing to help her raising heart and heated face, if anything it had made it worse.

The whole thing had been pretty awkward to say the least.

Her thoughts drifted away from that as she absentmindedly started making some more healing potion using the water in the little bottle. Even if Arthur hadn’t gotten that hurt by the tail slap it still wouldn’t hurt to have some at hand. She wondered why she hadn’t had any prepared beforehand before, and chided herself over it.

“Ohhh, is that magic?” Nini leaned over her shoulder to look as she dropped all the ingredients in and started to mumble the spell. “I didn’t know you were a crone?”

“She’s not a crone.” Arthur butted in as Edda tried her best to continue the spell. “She’s a magician.”

“That’s the same thing! Only crones are cooler!” Nini retorted.

Arthur sputtered a bit.

“A crone is a witch! You’re calling her a witch!”

“So what if I am!? What’s your problem?! Was it a witch that cursed you to be so small?!”

“Okay!” Both Edda and Snurra exclaimed in unison. Not only was it impossible for Edda to really concentrate with the two of them bickering, the fact that the bickering was getting really heated was beginning to worry her. He was bickering with a troll after all, with said trolls aunt just a meter away.

“You two better not start a fight back there, or I might be forced to stop this ride.” Snurra warned, playfulness in her tone, but still with a slight hint of seriousness.

“Yeah,” Edda agreed first looking over at Nini, who only pouted a bit. “Let’s calm down a...bit...” she trailed off as she turned to look at Arthur who’s face had gone pale.

“Arthur?” She asked.

Arthur just turned his wide eyes towards Nini.

“How’d you know...?” He mumbled out. 

“What? That you are cursed?” Nini cocked her head to the side.

A small, but throaty and nice, laugh came from Snurran. 

“We can smell it little man, your entire body smells of a curse.”

Nini just shrugged. “Everything smells to me. It was the insects who told me, you turned into a large human when we all looked away and they saw it happen.”

“The...insects?” Arthur said, sounding dumbfounded.

Edda felt a strange tension in the air, which she did not like, at all. She carefully put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder, attempting to comfort him.

“Alright, now that we got that out there let’s mo-“

“Wait!” Nini exclaimed. “Was I right? Was it a witch that cursed you?!”

Oh, for the love of, Edda thought to herself as she looked over at her. Some things really stayed the same, children will always be nosy.

“No, she wasn’t a witch.” Arthur spoke up before Edda got to correct Nini. “I...I just mistook her for one at first.” 

Edda snapped her head back to look at Arthur who looked as if he was trying to hide away in his collar. She was torn between her immediate concern for him, and the urge to pull out her notebook to jot down this new revelation. Those two feelings was then followed by shame for even feeling torn between those emotions in the first place.

What was there to note down anyway, she already knew he had done something to offend the fairy that had cursed him. Knowing exactly his method of insult made no difference. 

Oh, now was not the time to think about this! She needed to, do...something...

She quietly resealed the bottle of almost-potion, dropped in into her bag and moved her now free hand to rest upon his, as her other hand drew small soothing (or at least she hoped they were) circles on his shoulder with it’s thumb.

“Hey, what’s done is done. No use in dwelling on the past.” She tried, she was never the best at comfort.

“I,” He took a long deep breath, intertwining his hands with hers, but still looking away from her. “I attacked her. I though she was a witch so I attacked her! She was already vulnerable. Hurt! On the ground!” He squeezed her hand, turning his head, just so she could see his scared and shameful eyes peek out at her. Before he turned his face away from her again “And I still lifted my sword to attack her.”

“Huh.” Edda uselessly said, the cogs in her head spinning so much they created sparks as she frantically tried to find what to say. She had experienced people confiding in her before, a lot of people in the town had though she was an excellent person to tell their deep dark secrets to, for some reason. But this was the first time a man had almost tearfully admitted to assaulting a fairy under the belief of said fairy being a witch. 

“Well...” she started, moving her hand to his opposite shoulder to give him a half assed hug. “It sounds like you regret doing, that. And she did get back at you with the whole curse thing. So... The best you can do is to do better, become a better person.” She leaned in to him, just a bit. “And for what it’s worth I think, like I said yesterday, that you’re pretty...good.” She gave him a few pats on his shoulder.

“You’re not very good at this.” Nini said, as she sat and watched them from the other side of the cart.

“I know,” Edda, turning her head, hissed out in the softest voice the could muster, not forgetting who’s chart she was in. “I’m trying my best. I don’t preform well under pressure.”

Then she felt Arthur lean closer into her as he let out a small breathy chuckle. She turned her head to be blinded by his sweet eyes looking up at her.

“Don’t know about that Edda, I think you’re doing a pretty good job.” 

As she looked at him Edda felt like she once again lost her ability to think.

“Uh,” she stuttered, scrambling to find something to say. “You want a hug?” 

“That would be lovely.” He said moving up on her lap, letting her envelop him in her arms and her baggy shirt sleeves. 

Her heart rate slowed down just as fast as it had raised and she soon relaxed, this wasn’t the first time she had held him, but it never ceased to amaze her how, nice, it was to do it.

The amused laughter of Snurra and the unamused groans of Nini rang through her ears as she hugged him tighter.

[muchadoaboutbucky]

On the Run (oneshot)

Set after CA: The Winter Soldier: Bucky’s on his own, and with the majority of the Avengers in the spotlight, there’s only one person Steve trusts to track him down. 

PAIRING: Bucky x Native American!Reader WARNINGS: out-of-canon events, rough smut NOTE: 18+ only. Do not copy/repost on other sites.

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Bucky’s been in Bucharest for a little over a year. He’s gotten back to something close to stability, without all the creature comforts. He’s found a one-room apartment close to the market, where he can lay low, away from anything and everything. 

He’d spent the first month of his freedom traveling across Europe, breaking into old HYDRA bunkers and stealing whatever cash he could find. He’s got enough to get him a nicer place, but “nice” sticks out like a sore thumb. He’s better off rationing and staying where he can blend in. 

It’s hard to be alone, he finds. After first getting settled, he struggled to fit into the apartment. He hasn’t had a room or anything to call his own in several decades. He gets some plants, first. It’s easy to fall into a routine of watering them. His tomato plant prospers where he’s got it propped up in the window, but the flowers on the table wither and die within a week. 

His dreams are incredibly vivid. It’s as if seventy years of not dreaming has built up and exploded. He dreams of everything he’s missed… apple pie, the plum tree in the backyard at home, his childhood Border Collie, playing baseball in the dirt fields on breaks in the army… women.

God, he needs a woman. It’s not safe, though. Showing just any woman his non-human arm is sure to cause more than just raised eyebrows, and even if she’s okay with it the strength that’s come with the responsibility of being an enhanced soldier isn’t something an average human is capable of bearing.

In the end he settles for his right hand and calls it a day.

It’s summer, the first week of June, and he’s at the market in the late afternoon, taking shelter from the heat of the sun and hoping to fill his canvas bag with cherries and plums—the plums in Bucharest are the best he’s found. The baker's stall is open, and he can smell the fresh bread perfuming the air. It’s still in the season where nights are cool and it’s the perfect temperature for soup.

He’s just paid the fruit vendor when he turns, not looking where he’s going, and bumps into a woman. She stumbles, and instinctively he reaches out with his left arm and grabs her shoulder to keep her from falling.

“Sorry!” He says, helping her regain her balance. “Eşti bine?” he tries in Romanian first, “are you all right?”

She nods, taking a deep breath to settle herself. “I’m fine, thank you.”

American. Must be a tourist. 

“Good.” Bucky releases her and steps back, hoping she didn’t think anything of the odd firmness and strength of his metal fingers. She’s beautiful, messy hair tied up in a bun at the back of her head. “Sorry, again, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem,” she says, “just found who I was looking for.”

His stomach turns icy. “What?”

“I know who you are,” she replies, “your friend, Steve, he sent me to find you.”

The mention of Steve makes Bucky’s chest tighten, but he doesn’t let his guard down. “Who are you?” he asks. “How do you know Steve?”

“Y/N,” she answers. “He and I have been friends for a while. I’m kinda new to the team… I can go places without triggering the news outlets.”

He glances around, not knowing who could be watching. “Let’s walk,” he says, keeping his head low. She follows him down the avenue and into an alleyway, walking by his side until he stops behind a trash-filled dumpster. His fingers curl into the collar of her shirt, and she lets out an ‘oof!’ as he pushes her up against the wall.

“How long have you been following me?” he asks.

“Long enough to know where you live,” she replies calmly. “Look, I’m not here to cause any trouble, he was just… you went off the grid after Hydra went down, the only thing that told us where you were was a security camera outside the drugstore down the street. You might have a beard, but facial recognition is a bitch to kick.”

Bucky tightens his jaw. “Why should I trust you?”

“Because Steve’s paranoid about who he’s friends with and I’m good at spying on people.” Y/N chews on her lower lip. “Wouldn’t be here if he thought I’d do anything else.”

He takes a deep breath. “Come by later tonight. It’ll be safer to talk.” Turning and stalking back down the alleyway, he mutters, just loud enough so she can hear, “there’ll be soup.”

***

He finishes his shopping quickly and returns home as fast as he can. After locking the doors and windows, he stores all his purchases in the crappy fridge and sets about cleaning the table. He’s only got one good soup recipe, the beef stew his mother used to make on Sunday nights. It’s a long process, but he doesn’t mind. The methodical cooking eases his mind. 

He’s just finished dumping everything into a large pot when there’s a knock. He knows it’s Y/N, but he checks just to make sure before opening the door. 

“You’re early,” he says.

“You never specified a time,” she replies, turning to face him. She’s let her hair down and changed into straight-fit jeans and a tank top. No bra; he can faintly see her nipples through the fabric and it makes his gut tighten with arousal. 

“You know, you could have come to me,” she continues absentmindedly as he strides back to the stove, “I’m at the Epoque.”

“It’s safer here,” he says, “don’t need to be getting caught.”

She accepts that and gazes around the small apartment. His bed is just a mattress on the floor, one pillow that doesn’t match the thin comforter or the sheets. “Cozy.”

“It works.” He swallows, trying to focus on their dinner. “So… you must be special.”

“Special?”

“To be one of them,” he says, “one of the Avengers, or… whatever.”

Her boots click on the wooden floor as she steps around to survey his work. “I’ve got my powers. Nothing major, but I’m apparently a good asset in a fight. Not nearly as skilled as you.”

He sighs, barely able to look at her. “I don’t do that anymore.”

“I know.” She leans against the counter. “I’m strong. Not just lift-a-car-over-my-head strong, I can just… I can handle a beating, y’know? The last bad guy who punched me ended up with a shattered fist.”

“So you’re…”

“Relatively indestructible?” She shrugs. “I guess you could call it that.”

Food is on the table within ten minutes, and Y/N, surprised at the quality of her serving, digs in with gusto, mopping up the last of it with a chunk of fresh bread. Bucky eats slowly, keeping pace with her until their bowls are empty.

“So your powers,” he says, breaking the silence as they wash their dishes, “how did you get ‘em?”

“All I know is that I was born with them,” she replies. “First saw signs when I was five and my older brother accidentally knocked me off the playground. Fell six feet, and the ground caved under me. I didn’t have a scratch.”

Bucky watches her set her bowl on the drying rack and flexes his metal fingers. Titanium glints in the light of the overhead light. “So not even this?”

“I hope you’re not going to try and find out.” She grins and rests one hip against the counter, reaching out to run a fingertip over his wrist, along the border between two plates. “Men who hit without asking me first usually end up with broken arms and I’d hate to have to destroy this.”

Now she’s just being a tease. 

Her eyes flicker up to meet his, and he snaps. Moving close with a single step, he grabs her face with both hands and kisses her. She moves into it, responding with a shove of her hips against his. Metal fingers curl into her hair, and she lets out a whimper when her scalp aches.

Before she can say or do anything else, he rips her top down the middle and tosses the ruined fabric to the floor. Her cheeks flush, and her eyes sparkle with arousal. 

“You don’t play,” she murmurs, “you gonna finish the job or what?”

They strip each other in a matter of minutes. The minute Y/N jeans hit the ground, Bucky slides his hands under her ass and hauls her up, striding quickly to the mattress and lowering her down onto it. She’s wet, he can feel it against his bare cock, and she holds him tight in her hand, slowly moving the thick tip through her folds. He braces his hands on either side of her shoulders, lowering himself down to kiss her. 

For a split second he flashes back to being seventeen, lying between the legs of the prettiest girl he’d ever known and trying his best to make it through his first ever round of lovemaking.

Except now, he’s no fumbling virgin. He’s a grown man who knows exactly what he wants and almost exactly how he’s going to get it.

He enters her with a low groan that muffles against her lips. She moans, fingers digging into his back as her legs wrap around his waist. Her pussy’s warm and slick on his bare flesh, and it’s all he can do to remember some form of self control when he begins to move. He’s gentle at first, but when she rocks her hips up to meet his thrusts and he suddenly bottoms out, he gives way to lust. 

She cries out when his pelvis snaps against her ass. Her nails dig into his skin, the ache developing into a sting that only drives him on. His thrusts grow into strong, frantic beats that make the slap of skin on skin resound through the room. She tosses her head back, her moans unrestrained. When she arches up, her stomach rubs against his, and he gives her a teasing grind, humming against her mouth as she cranes her neck to kiss him again.

“Harder,” she whispers, “give me all you got.”

Bucky shudders when she hitches her knees on either side of his ribs, opening herself up more. It takes every ounce of strength not to look down at where he’s inside her, where soft meets hard. If he looks he’ll finish right there. Instead he buries his face in the crook of her neck, picking up his thrusts until she’s shaking and bouncing with the force of them. 

“Oh, fuck!” She gasps loudly, mouth open in a smiling cry of pleasure. “Right there… that’s it...”

Bucky can only grunt and pant in answer. He’s never felt so primal, chasing pleasure like it’s nothing. When he loses his rhythm and slips out of her, she doesn’t waste any time to take advantage of the situation. She rolls onto her stomach and arches her hips into the air, legs spread wide. He kneels up, kissing and nipping up her spine until he thrusts back in, hands squeezing at soft skin. Her body ripples when his hips smack into her, and when he brings his flesh hand down on her ass, fingers grabbing at the smooth roll of her hip, she clenches tight, mouth open in a whimper. 

He loses track of how long he fucks her. All he knows is warm skin, the scent of her sweat, her slick pussy tight around him, and the sound of her practically sobbing his name when he speeds up. He’s getting close, though, and he doesn’t have quite enough control to hold back. 

Reaching around her waist, he skims his fingers over her sex, rubbing quick circles that make her clench tight around him. She reaches back, taking his other wrist in her hand, and pulls him over her. His metal arm curls around her shoulders, holding her close as he ruts them both closer to orgasm.

She finishes first, a cry in her throat choking off as she writhes and squirms under him. He doesn’t wait for her orgasm to flame out, just shoves forward with a primal growl and lets his own release pour into her. He doesn’t let her go until she’s begging for air, gasping, and he leans back, watching her pull away. She’s swollen, the lips of her sex slick and slightly puffy, and she squeezes her thighs together as a trickle of white dribbles over the crease in her thigh.

“Jesus,” she sighs breathlessly, running trembling fingers through her hair, “how long have you been working that up?”

Bucky chuckles, reaching up to push one of the windowpanes open. “Longer than you’ve been alive.” He slumps down next to her, rolling onto his back as cool air washes over them. 

They stay there for several minutes in almost complete silence. When Y/N asks where the bathroom is, Bucky takes her into the shower, cramping together in the tiny stall as cool water washes over them. 

She stays the night, stretched out and naked on half the mattress while Bucky slumbers behind her. For the first time in months, he feels relaxed, all anxiety and tension drained out of him. 

She wakes sometime in the night, and he opens his eyes to find her rubbing up against him, lips pressed against the stubble on his jaw. He lets her crawl on top, finding him already hard and ready through the darkness. She sighs when he enters her, and Bucky, caught in the hazy middle of sleeping and waking, glides his hands over her hips to hold her as she rocks back and forth.

In the morning, they make potato cakes, bacon, and coffee. Bucky lends her a shirt, and she leans up against the counter, bare thighs peeking out from under the hem. She looks tired and worn out from the night before, but her smile is bright in the morning sun.

“Are they gonna come for me?” he asks, watching her nibble on a piece of bacon. “Steve, the others?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “I made Steve promise not to come after you. He just wants to know that you’re alive, that’s all. He’s not here to recruit you back.”

Despite her words, Bucky’s stomach twinges. “I don’t know if I’m ready to see him. Or anyone.”

Y/N seems to catch onto his anxiety, because she sets her food down and locks her fingers in his metal ones. “You don’t have to,” she explains gently. “He won’t even know where you live. All I have to do is tell him that you’re alive and safe and—”

“That we slept together?” Bucky tries to joke. 

“Well, I’m definitely not going to headline it,” she laughs. “I’ll definitely be keeping that to myself.”

She leaves late that night, after a dinner of ordered pizza and crappy soda. Before she goes, she scribbles her private cell number on a scrap of paper pinned to the fridge, and he makes a note to salvage his old Blackberry that hasn’t been used in months. 

He kisses her goodbye and watches her drive off in a rented Mercedes. The apartment feels too quiet without her now. He wishes he could keep her with him, but her life must be busy if she’s with the Avengers… it’s selfish to keep her back. 

When the phone is charged, he sits back on the couch and tucks in to a rerun of an old nature program. It’s almost two in the morning when the phone buzzes with a new text. The number on the screen is hers, and he clumsily navigates the small device to see the message you sent.

> Back home. Call me when you get a chance. -Y/N :)

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[indieks]

Two Nights, One Da(y)te 🌒 Lee Jooheon | 1.5/2

🔥 Pairing : Lee Jooheon x Reader

🔥 Genre : Soulmate!AU, Angst, Fluff, Suggestive (light)

🔥 Word count : 25.3k

🔥 Synopsis : He should have been just another Tinder match you would have swiped off your life just like you swiped your thumb on your screen that night, hadn’t it been for the deep connection that bonds you to him. He is your soulmate, you are a girl he can’t help but get attracted to. You are seeking for the perfect relationship, he is trying to stay away from love. Would the few times you come across each other be enough for your opposite hearts to face the same direction?

Part 1 /\ Part 1.5 /\ Part 2

🔥 A/N : I don’t know where I should begin... I’m so relieved to finally be able to publish the sequel of this story, but I’m so sorry at the same time for being this late. My past year (I can’t believe it’s already been a year) has been hectic and busy, my studies being the most intensive and time-solliciting ever. But I’ve managed to type a few words here and there, to finally come up with this part ; and no, it isn’t the ending one like I had planned to, because I had so many things to tell that it would’ve been too long, so I had to cut it into two!

Anyway, I just wanted to thank every single one of you who’ll take the time to read this, especially if there are some of you who were still waiting... I’ve missed Tumblr and I hope you’ll like it!

Disclaimer : the few new named characters I’ve introduced are purely fictional, I’ll just let your imagination be!

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"You're dozing off, again" a low voice finally snaked its way into his closed eardrums that had muted any possible sound buzzing around him, letting his messy thoughts rule over his focus and his awareness of where he actually was.

Jooheon snapped his head towards the left to peak at his interlocutor, being met by his bartender colleague's sad smile, Wonwoo, who shook him lightly as he had landed a friendly hand on his shoulder.

"You should take a break" he then suggested to the reddish-haired boy who looked back at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

"W-What? No, I'm fine, I'm sorry I just… Got a lot on my mind lately" Jooheon then brushed his offer off with a forced smile of his and a gentle nod to ask for his understanding and forgiveness.

"Hyung, I've been taking over your third customer because you've left the counter to take a bottle of vodka like five minutes ago yet never came back" Wonwoo chuckled, releasing the tensed muscles of the man next to him from his grasp.

"Five? No kidding? Wow shit I'm so sorry" Jooheon apologized again before sighing, his now squinted eyes meeting his own reflection in the glasses that were plastered behind the rows of bottles at the back of their bar.

The night club's neon-lights painted his face in warm colors, contrasting with how pale and  expressionless it had been for weeks now. He looked miserable in spite of the fancy hairstyle he had put effort in and his attempt to feel confident by opening his shirt a little bit too much for the ladies – in vain, as his mind wasn't even here to actually catch them lurking.

"It's okay hyung, I can see you're going through hardships lately. So if you need to take a small break, go ahead, you'll pay me back later" his tall friend reassured him before turning back to their counter where a crowd of thirsty people was already asking for his services.

Jooheon's knuckles that had indeed been around the bottle of alcohol he had indeed intended to bring back to the front weren't fed with blood anymore as his clench tightened around it. He was confused as hell, hell he thought he had already been living in all this time but which seemed to have darkened and deepened with discomfort ever since he had sent that very message to you and you had had the last word.

He could almost recite your answer by heart aloud, as he had come to read and reread it, the words planting swords of doubt, regret, and want in his body. And if he had managed to push it aside most of the time by busying himself with work at the club or on some music, it only took one glimpse of your face flashing randomly through his head from time to time, for him to get blocked into a quicksand of thoughts about you, about his feelings, about his choices, and his mind would be on full stop just like it had now.

But five minutes straight… Wow, that was a record.

You [00:44 a.m.] : I'm alone at my place, so now I have nothing to distract me anymore… I shall finally muster up my courage after hours of thinking about what to actually say. I don't know if I'm mad, upset, frustrated. Maybe a mix of them three. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you with a heavy block of words but I'll just let it all out. I spent a wonderful night with you last time. And as I told you back then, I like you, and I'm sorry. I like you and I can't do anything about it, I'm almost bothered by it myself, because you kind of warned me about your issues. Maybe I was the only one feeling this way, but that night was really special to me, and that independently of the fact that you're my ideal. Special enough for me to stop thinking about what should come next, which is sooo unlike me. And I thought I had somehow convinced you to do just the same, appreciating that thing between us. Between us, yes, as in from me to you, but also from you to me, because I felt like it wasn't one-sided. I shall thank you for trying to explain yourself again and your decision, but I'm having a hard time understanding why everything that had apparently made you come to me suddenly disappeared, or why it wasn't enough again for you to let things unwrap on their own and see where we would end up. See, I told you, I'm not enough, not even for my soulmate haha ! Anyway, I'll have to respect your decision because I can't do anything about it, right?"

Everything had gone well that night. Jooheon hadn't felt the time run out through his fingers wrapped around your waist, molding perfectly against your skin as if they had been supposed to land just there. Everything had gone so well, that he had thought he would finally be able to overcome his insecurities, as the way you had freed him from his knots of thoughts and his heavy shell had definitely showcased how special you were, reason why he had made a move first the afternoon following your leave and started a conversation.

However, the time with you and the messages you had exchanged had only been a suspension of the weight crushing his heart, and not its eradication. Because soon, the ghosts of Jooheon's lack of trust in himself had come back floating around him ; he had then realized he still felt betrayed too much to finally draw his sword and fight them, and chase the light you had shone on him.

Yet, why turning away from you was continuously bugging him even after three weeks of cutting ties? He missed your daily chatting, he missed your reassuring presence, and he somehow missed your touch and your lips. With just an encounter, a night next to him, and some text messages 'til the morning light, you had lodged a bullet right at his heart and the wound was spreading your print through his whole body. And now, it was as if he had run away, but with his eyes looking back at you all the while ; with the strings pulling at his bloody organ held by your hands ; with his mind paused back in that past night with you, unable to make him sort what was supposedly waiting for him onwards.

He had made this choice with the conviction that he still needed some time alone to go ahead with his life and mostly sort it out, but right now, what was left in front of him was only a battlefield of endless question marks, blocking his vision of where he should land his next footsteps away from the crossroad where his path had met yours.

Shit, he was regretting.

"Why did you change your mind, all of a sudden?" Kihyun asked him as Jooheon had ended up taking a short break with the encouragement of his colleague, and he had joined his group of friends who were sitting down at one of the fancy tables in the club.

They had been avoiding the subject for a while now as they knew how sensitive the bartender could be ; however, as the latter showed them how uneasy he felt about his decision himself to the point it had now impeached him from working correctly, Kihyun hadn't been able to hold it in any longer.

"What do you mean" Jooheon mumbled nonchalantly as he poured himself a glass of soda from one of the bottles of soft drinks they had spared.

"You told us that everything had went well that Friday night. I hadn't seen you smile like that when receiving a text for ages. So what happened, Jooheon-ah?" the boy specified, a worried expression clear on his face as his brows were furrowed and his little eyes were shining.

"In other words : why did you pee on yourself?" Changkyun tackled his friend intently, so that he'd gain a reaction from the zombie he had been all over again as if they were back when she had left him – and maybe, as a bonus, a spontaneous answer.

Bingo.

"Would you leave me alone, please? I feel like my head's gonna explode from all the overthinking about this already, so no need to add your questions to it, thanks!" Jooheon barked back at them, gulping down a huge sip from his glass before smashing it down on the table with a trembling hand.

The beverage was refreshing, but what he needed right now, were the flames of liquor to burn his insides so that he wouldn't feel them twisting anymore.

"Hey, we're trying to help here, calm down" Hoseok, one of the players of his ex-football team, warned with a hurt frown.

"Wanna know what I think?" Minhyuk spoke up, and he got an eye-roll in return.

"Actually, not that much…?" Jooheon tiredly inquired, because he knew what was about to come out of the blonde's mouth.

"I know you like the back of my hand Jooheon-ah, and what I'm sure of, is that you simply chickened out because you like the girl. And right now, you're having a headache, because you're just admitting it to yourself yet you don't know if you do want to take the proper actions that go with it, or not. I told you, that your heart doesn't give a damn about what's settled in your head" Minhyuk ignored his answer and looked him in the eye, unphased by the angry glare the fiery-haired boy shot right at him. "And while you're at it with your overthinking, just ask yourself the right questions : Did I enjoy the time I spent with her? Yes or no. Would I like it if I see her again? Yes or no. Do I wish to talk to her? Yes or no. Did I like kissing her? Would I like it if it happens ever again? Yes or no. If everything's a yes, then let me answer for you : maybe putting an end to it wasn't the best of choices, no."

"Leave me alone with your psychanalysis" Jooheon barely replied through gritted teeth, hating how that friend of his always managed to nibble right at the sensitive spot.

"We're just seeing that you're not… As okay with your decision as you've been when you had stories with no tomorrow up 'til now. And I think it's a shame that you're letting your doubts take the best of you like that, because Y/N really is a great girl and I swear she's really into you-" Kihyun started, but he got interrupted by Jooheon standing up roughly.

"I've had enough."

"Jooheon-ah, wait" Hyunwoo, the eldest of the group, got up on his feet as well in an attempt to prevent him from leaving.

"Aren't you supposed to be the ones to understand me and cut me some slack the most? You know how fucked up my mind is, you know how hard it is for me to find a solution to that blocking, you know ALL OF THAT! I've listened to you, I've tried to let myself go, but I just can't, okay?! See in what it resulted! I hurt a nice person, and I'm going crazy because I don't know why I can't make it work out this time as well!" he burst out and once he did, his eyes grew wide as a wave of guilt crashed against his head walls.

He regretted having taken his buried frustration at them. Hyunwoo took that opportunity to grab him by the nape as the boy's head had dropped in shame, before he presented under his nose the rest of the glass he hadn't finished but with a hint of whiskey he had poured in it, a gesture of comfort Jooheon had needed instead of the lecturing and review of his love-life.

"This time it's definitely different, you like her, and maybe that's why you're even more scared. But we just think this could actually be the way out of it, your attraction to her. If only you had hung to that a little bit more… Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to anger or hurt you" Minhyuk stepped towards his buddy, giving him a brief hug, before he left to get himself a strong drink at the bar.

If only Jooheon was brave enough to hold onto the rope you had caught him with, yes. If only the fight with his mind was that simple, yes. If only he hadn't already forfeited, yes…

*

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"You're dozing off, again" Jiwoo whispered from her seat facing you, her two eyes peeking at you over the thin panel between your two desks, and you blinked rapidly to bring yourself back to reality.

That poor, lonely, empty, reality you had been breathing in for three weeks now but that was suffocating you, as all the words you wished to tell him and all the ones you regretted having said were stuffed at the back of your throat.

So that was how it was supposed to feel, having bathed in the perfect world of soulmates only to drown in loneliness then harshly dry if it ever came to an end? You felt totally, inevitably, unbearably lifeless, your soul being trapped into the wonderful moment you had spent in his company but that you had a hard time labelling as a simple "good memory" now that everything was over. It was as if his lips on yours had taken all of your willpower to remain careful when it came to love, as you felt now tenfold worse than after your past breakups.

All of your usual imagination and enthusiasm had been swept away by your emotions that got the best of you, as Jooheon had stepped on the last thing that had implicitly kept you going with your life confidently after your previous heartbreaks : hope. You had hoped to find happiness in him, you had hoped that his smiles at you, his wish for you to stay, his sweet and deep kiss in the morning, his hands lingering around your frame as you had told him you had to go, his messages popping up on your screen afterwards, were the signs that you may have found some arms to engulf you ; but he had proven you wrong with his change of mind, or maybe, to your despair, his change of heart.

Once again, the power of feelings hadn't been enough for you to keep him by your side, for him to come to you fearlessly, for the both of you to enjoy the ride and see where it would take you, blindly. And because the law was a witch that had casted an awful spell on you, you got to experience the weighing sensation of melancholy as you couldn't help but think of him.

A raindrop would make you think of him, as the shape of his mouth made it seem as if he had a small one always hanging from his lower lip. The sound of a car passing by, as it reminded you of the numerous taxis you had tried to stop before you had decided to take yourselves home by feet. The dimples of one of your colleagues, as his were the cutest you had ever seen. The scent of beer or dumplings, as it was the first – and last – late night snack you had shared with him. The orange and red lights at a stop, as the strands of his hair were tinted between those very two colors.

Anything in your daily sight of banalities managed to link itself to a memory of Lee Jooheon, and every time, it was another sigh leaving your mouth. Funnily though, it somehow helped you to understand how hard it could be for him to move on from his ex and let his heart beat for anyone but her, as for now, you felt like you couldn't give yours to anyone but him, and that until a long long time.

He was your ideal type of man, and unfortunately, he had also made your heart flutter. He matched your dreams and the reality of your feelings, and it hurt, pretty badly. The bittersweet taste of what you barely could call a relationship dried your mouth that only craved for his to grace it all over again with sweet kisses and caresses of his tongue inside of its walls.

"Stop checking your messages" Jiwoo guessed as she spotted how your eyes were lingering down on something on your desk, and you almost whined as your lips formed a pout.

"Remember what the cards told me last week? That he probably would text me…" you retorted shamelessly.

"This application is bullshit and you know it, and it told you that he might think of sending you something, not that he would actually do it in the end" your colleague countered in a sigh.

"You remember quite well for someone who's so sceptic about astrology and so on…" you chuckled and she tsk-ed at you.

"It was funny because we were drunk" she admitted with a shrug, before regaining a stern composure. "More seriously, Y/N, I'm sorry to tell you this but it's been three weeks already… I know he's your ideal, but it doesn't mean he's the absolute perfect man you need for real, y'know? Life goes on, and as you've always told me, true love always wins! I'm just sad to see you still like this!"

You addressed her a smile as you saw how hard she was trying to reason you, but the you who had been so reasonable those past months, was long gone and replaced by a desperate girl in need for a romantic-comedy-like unfolding to happen in her life. In the movies, he would actually send you the message ; he would have been thinking of you in his bed until late late night ; he would have realized that he…

That he liked you. If he ever did.

Your heavy eyelids that supported a lazy gaze fluttered tiredly as you turned your head to the window showcasing a lining of buildings warmed up by the setting sun that hadn't fought with any cloud during the day, as if it was laughing at your gloomy state.

"Yes I'll send it to you next morning" a sweet but clear voice caught your attention from the other side of the room, and your heart did a small jump as you shifted in your seat to catch a sight of Yoo Kihyun entering the open space with a phone stuck between his ear and his shoulder, and his eyes suddenly fell on you, his face then breaking into the most welcoming of smiles.

You adored him. He was a hard working senior who was straight in his shoes, never failing at his tasks, always ready to help, always giving his opinion in the subtlest of ways, always supporting your projects ; he was kind of your mentor at work, while Jiwoo was your right arm, and if usually meeting with him every day was pure happiness, now you couldn't help but get strangled by the hands of questions about Jooheon every time Kihyun would look at you or talk to you. He was the most vivid yet most embarrassing of remaining links between you and your ideal, and for three weeks you had had to bite your lip so that you wouldn't blurt your wonderings to him out of nowhere.

How was he doing? Had he talked about you? Had he forgotten about you? Were you crazy to hope and wait for anything to happen, deep down?

The after-effects of the spell were definitely chewing on the lucid part of your brain.

"Don't distance yourself from me because of Lee Jooheon" the cause of your stomach's knots to tighten at work quietly told you as you were waiting for your coffee to be spilled by the machine near the blocks of desks.

"W-What?" you stuttered, surprised by his so-on-point remark. "I-I'm not, I’m not Kihyun, what does make you say that? It's fine between us!"

The latter chuckled, his eyes disappearing as his mouth curled up, and you would've bet that he could cook some eggs on your two cheeks that were steaming from the mortification he had put you in.

"You know you can talk to me about it, if you need to… I can see that it's been running on your mind" he offered in a soothing tone, and you both went to sit on the comfortable sofas located in what was supposed to be the rest area. "But please, don't be embarrassed with me!"

"How can I not be? He's your friend before anything else, and you are the first spectator of how ridiculous I'm being nowadays… I don't want to put you into a tricky position. It was one night, and it's over" you convinced yourself before sipping on your hot energizing drink, and Kihyun landed his face in the palm of his left hand, a fond smile spreading on his traits just for you to see.

"You're not as convincing when you talk about yourself as when you're selling our projects" he joked, and you faked a kick in his legs extended before yours. "You don't have to try to look all strong in front of me Y/N, I'm actually dating my own ideal and I know how devastating it feels if they ever turn away from you."

There was a glimpse of sadness in his eyes you had never seen before as Kihyun was either smiling, either completely unreadable at work, his face expressions only shifting from concentrated traits to joyful ones when he heard good news. But sadness? Never had you ever spotted him break in front of you in the few months you had spent together, and God knew how late you had stayed together in the building to finish your work, how drunk you had both been, how tired the job could make you.

"You weren't hers, as well?" you questioned before you could think of how intrusive this could sound.

"I am, but we took a break for a few months because the emotions and sensations were… Too much for her and for me to handle. We were quite passionate from the very beginning, so much that it could have torn us apart" he explained.

You nodded understandingly, your fingernails tapping an unknown beat on the small plastic cup in your cold hands.

"Now everything's fine, but just so you know that I've been through it, dreading the ideal one, so I get how you feel" he added, insisting on the last word with his eyes looking at you intently, as if they were also bearing the weight of it.

"Well at least you stopped dreading her because you were meant to be together anyway! Jooheon and I aren't as lucky, I just hope it won't take too long for me to move on" you smiled enviously at him before coating your lips with some hot coffee to mask how quickly the corners of your mouth had fallen down.

"You know, what's funny…" Kihyun trailed, passing his hand through his thick mop of brown hair that was graciously welcoming the last rays of sun seeping through the bay windows.

He bit back a chuckle when he caught how your eyes lightened up at the suspense he had voluntarily seamed between the both of you, finding you cute, and confirming his already steady opinion : Jooheon and you would be perfect together, if only…

"What's funny, is that Jooheon is supposed to be my friend first, so I should support him and respect his choices, but this time, I'm definitely on your side" he confessed, his eyes turning into crescents as his mouth supported a warm smile once more.

"Oh yes? And why's that?" you asked him with a dubitative expression as you leaned back into the comfy chair. "Glad to learn that you and I are not friends though…"

Kihyun's phone suddenly rang, and he held the screen towards you so that you could read the name of one of your collaborators, actually being the one you were going to work with on the next event.

"They have your personal number? Woooow you're so chic" you whispered with a faked astonished expression as he stood up quickly, chuckling at your remark.

"Let's talk about it around drinks tonight, I feel like going to the bar instead of finishing what I have to do" he smiled before exiting the relaxing room in pressed strides, and you could hear him getting back to his work-tone as he seriously said "Yes sir it's me, Yoo Kihyun".

Little did you know he was literally going to replace his blood by alcohol once night had fallen, and that you would follow him with just a few drinks late.

*

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*

You were sitting at your favorite bar, that was located only three blocks away from your workplace. All of your team could never get enough of its cozy ambiance, with the dangling little garlands and lanterns hanging from the ceiling, the numerous tropical plants placed between the row of tables, and the exotic landscapes sketches or Maya-like sculptures fixed on the wooden walls, giving the overall feeling of having found shelter in the middle of a sublime jungle.

It had started as another classical end of day, Kihyun and you enjoying some delicious appetizers and tricky cocktails that were as tasty as threatening for your sanity, all the while talking about futile things and sharing funny stories. However, sooner than you would have imagined, you weren't clinking your half-empty glass with your favorite partner when you agreed on things anymore, because it had been already ten minutes since he was ranting about life and love with a jaded expression on his sharp traits.

He wasn't even looking at you, his lost eyes fixed on a wooden stick which used to support candies he had now planted in the glass in front of him, and he turned it again and again into the rest of his drink mixed with water from the cooling ice cubes.

"You know, when you date your ideal, you almost forget how it actually feels to love at first. I swear, the sensations you get almost turn into a drug, something you can never get enough of! You immediately love the person without even knowing him or her, and you're in such a bliss, in such an awe, that you can't even distinguish what your real emotions are anymore. It took me a break with my girlfriend to look back on what I feel, what I love in her, and to miss her but because my heart felt empty, not my entire self."

He sighed loudly before taking a sip from his striped straw, and seeing how he frowned and tilted his head, you knew he had more to say, which was so unlike him. It seemed as if your own situation with Jooheon affected him as well ; as if it had opened the doors to some secret yet deep thoughts that had been bugging his mind.

"When you're in a one-sided situation like yours, I feel like there's a lot to it. I think that it's also a perfect combination in its own way, because there's the power of soulmates, facing the one of true feelings. Two paths come across and merge into one : the one of the heart, and the one of fate, this is complementary" he then explained as his digits lightly traced the two lines in the palm of his left hand, and strangely, his words seemed to have cooled down the atmosphere around you as you felt chills run down your skin all of a sudden.

"I used to agree with you and believe in love more than in the soulmate-thing, but… You can't deny that nothing can beat the perfection of the romance between two individuals that were both bond by fate. It means they're made for each other, it's beautiful" you inquired, and unlike you whose heart now felt heavy in your itchy chest, Kihyun looked like he relaxed in his chair as it was his turn to speak again.

"But what sticks two soulmates together is also love, just like any other couple. What we actually feel might be stronger, but not purer. If I didn't love my girlfriend and if she didn't love me, our short break would have resulted in a break-up, for sure. That's the part of reality in this world of dreams and expectations. I wish Jooheon would understand that…" he breathed out as his gaze finally landed on you, an exasperated expression veiling his white face.

"Oh no, don't tell me he's back at it again" a rather high-toned voice spoke from behind you and your colleague's reddening cheeks spread into a contented smile, so you turned around in your seat to be met with five familiar figures, their sight making your heart drop down to your heels.

Before you had even recovered from the tornado of emotions this situation was putting you through, the boys you couldn't help but label as "Jooheon's friends" dragged some more chairs and tables to join Kihyun and you. To each beat of your weakened heart, one thought kept on ringing in your mind : every single boy sitting next to you, in front of you, across from you, knew Lee Jooheon better than you did even though the law made you feel otherwise. But what was harder to process, was they surely were aware of the things that had happened between the both of you, making you rot in embarrassment.

"What, what, what? I'm back at what, huh? You know you all agree, Jooheon doesn't realize how lucky he is! What he trusted in is right in front of our eyes, Y/N, who aspires to believe in love more than anything! He's not her ideal for nothing, it's because they would be perfect together, am I wrong?"

You swore that the weight of awkwardness and how the atmosphere had thickened were crushing you in your wooden chair, and all you did was agitating your head from the left to the right repeatedly while shooting him a pleading look so that he would stop playing the justiciary.

"Hey, you're lucky too you punk! Sorry Y/N, he tends to turn really sentimental once he's drunk… Anyway, we're here to save you from hell" the one you remembered as being named Hoseok smiled kindly at you, however it didn't chase your wish to disappear away.

"What are you saying, you're here because I texted you to come" Kihyun snorted with a sulky face.

He hadn't asked for your advice or assent before taking this questionable initiative, but you had noted from the mischievous smile he had sported on the way earlier that he had been exceptionally excited to go out, making you wonder if he had been up to something.

And he clearly had.

"I thought it would be nice for you to hang with some new people, to clear your mind a little" he then addressed you, and every single one of you – except for him– rolled your eyes at his stupid idea.

Clear your mind? While being surrounded by six faces that only reminded you of the one that was missing? Seriously?

What a nice idea he had had, bringing another set of pieces to the puzzle picturing Jooheon in your dizzy head, bringing dozens of questions burning the tip of your tongue, bringing discomfort as you were hanging with an important part of his life when he had chased you out of it.

"I texted the sad boy too, so that he realizes what he's missing, I can't leave him alone being all dumb like that" Kihyun then proudly announced, and you darted two big round eyes at him, your heart beating faster than it had since the night you had spent with the very sad boy he was talking about, as for three weeks it had been unmoved.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" you shouted along with the rest of the boys, your pupils then exchanging panicked-angry-incredulous glances.

"I'm leaving" you then precipitated yourself, your suddenly trembling hands gathering your things on the table and putting them back into your leather bag.

"Yoo Kihyun seriously what's wrong with you…" the tall one, Hyungwon, pestered him with a clenched jaw as he looked at you who were ready to stand all at once.

"He will be here in less than a minute, just stay and trust me Y/N, please" Kihyun begged and it triggered you.

"Why would you do that? It's just embarrassing for the both of us! I am respecting his decision, and so should you! Thank you for worrying about me, but don't interfere anymore, please!" your tone would have gotten close to the one of yelling, hadn't it been for your voice cracking as it was the prey of your fear to meet Jooheon's eyes again, to read discomfort and resent in them instead of the memory of their tenderness you cherished.

Just as you were about to finally get up, having put your fluffy puffer coat on as well as your beanie to confront the icy weather, the peal of small bells signaling the opening of the main door resounded over the music and the boys' voices telling you how sorry they were ; and you knew. You knew it was him who had just entered, because your body automatically reacted the second you dared to throw a look over your shoulder quickly, your eyes only perceiving a reddish mop of hair and a bright yellow padded jacket. Your hand was scorching and shining around the handle of your bag, and you cursed under your breath at the pain and at Kihyun who bit back a smile of victory.

He really could become sly and clueless at the same time once he was drunk, how come you had forgotten about that?

"Y/N, wait-" the latter tried to hold you back as you pushed your chair that screeched against the ground, but you walked past the table, your hurried strides supported by your trembling legs taking you towards some other exit at the opposite side of the room.

Your heavy heart had turned light, floating under your chest as a feather would do in some spring breeze, however the two drinks you had consumed and the trap your friend had pushed you right in made you overall feel sick, your stomach burning. Some fresh air was even more welcomed, yet you hadn't even taken that much steps when the most pleasant voice you would ever hear infiltered your buzzing eardrums :

"Y/N" Jooheon called you out calmly, and your feet immediately stumbled as you came to a full stop.

Shit.

You didn't want to look at him, you didn't want to see his face again, you didn't want to feel yourself sucked into the hole of sweltering feelings for him once more now that you had told yourself that your dreams wouldn't come true ; however you did, slowly turning on your heels, and you inevitably got consumed by the flames of whatever his presence did to you.

He looked utterly handsome even though he was doing nothing, just standing there and breathing. His hair was down, falling messily on his forehead, with a few strands kissing his eyelids ; still, it didn't occult the power his pupils could hold. His sharp eyes never failed to get the best of you, absorbing your willpower to leave and pinning your two feet to the ground, as contrary to what you had dreaded, there wasn't anything near embarrassment shining in them. They were simply gazing at you, two black orbs full of stars hooked on his sculpted-like face, and they didn't quaver when they met your unsure, humid ones.

"Let's talk outside for a minute" he invited out of the blue, and you blinked obliviously but your head nodded independently of your command.

You then waited for him to move closer behind you before exiting the bar, without saying a word, your throat strained and your mouth itching with the desire of kissing him right here, right now. Once you had landed a few steps outside, it took you a lot of courage to turn around again and face the cause of your happiness and sorrow, the sweet-and-sour mixture twisting your stomach where butterflies still were doing their usual job of messing with you.

"Hi" you tried with a small smile, shoving your hands inside your pockets so that you wouldn't lose your fingers.

Jooheon wished the fog that came out of his mouth as he breathed out had conveyed all of his messy thoughts to you, so that you could feel how torn you had left him for three weeks, so that you would help him sort things out, so that you would absorb them just like you had that Friday night, as he didn't even know what he was supposed to say to you right now ; he had just wished to see your face, selfishly, even if it was only for a short and bittersweet moment.

"How have you been doing?" he then asked randomly, the words falling from his plump lips he then bit in regret.

Your world was spinning twice faster now that it was revolving around Jooheon as its center of gravity again ; you could only see and hear him, your senses all gathered to focus on his person. Nevertheless, if three weeks ago the enchantment casted upon you had made you feel happy, this time, your encounter was crackling further your heart he had closed his doors to.

"Fine, and you?" you lied, so bad, yet you didn't want him to feel worse than you knew he already was, as even if you were distraught because you had failed in a relationship once more, you couldn't ignore the fact that Jooheon was suffering from his disappointment more than anything.

Your heart understood him through its aching, reason why your voice's tone had been sweet despite you, warming Jooheon's own bloody organ in the matter of a millisecond, warmth that spread inside his limbs and made him insensitive to the actual freezing weather. Some snowflakes had started to fall and were finding home in the free strands of your hair, and his burning left hand was weirdly craving to caress the white gown they were creating over your head until it'd disappear.

"Pretty fine too" his low voice vibrated through his chest, and another cloud of steam formed between your two faces, giving you the time to collect your expression so that he wouldn't notice how flustered you were.

"Anything you wished to tell me? Or else I'll get going I have a bus to catch in… 10 minutes" you insinuated that he had called you out for something precisely, and when his eyes fell down to the snowy pavement, you crumpled the insides of your pockets as the longer he was standing in front of you, the harder it was to fight the urge to assault him with questions and… Kisses?

The silence was weighty, and when Jooheon's pupils leveled up to yours once again, he noticed the thin line of water that was forming at the crease of your eyelids, killing him on the spot. Just like her, the sight of him was making you sad and uneasy, and he hated himself for that. Still what he despised more, was that he was putting you through the same thing that had eaten him alive the past months. He wished you had never met him and had simply fallen in love with some random guy, not being helplessly attracted to him because of a stupid law.

"I wanted to apologize on behalf of my friends, I can see you were quite embarrassed… They truly can be dumbasses sometimes, so sorry" he found the excuse on the spot, his improvisation impressing himself.

"Oh it's okay, they already apologized. It was Kihyun, he thought he was… Doing something good, I guess? He just doesn't get our situation" you brushed off as your brows had furrowed due to his surprising revelation.

"And I guess I wanted to check if you were okay" he suddenly admitted in a low yet steady tone that shook you to the core.

"Well you must know how it is, you've been through it" you sounded harsher than wanted, however, you couldn't blame your inner self for getting more and more sensitive while facing him.

You were right. Jooheon was more of a punition to you than anything else ; he knew it because he had lived in this empty feeling up 'til now. But couldn't he try to make you feel any better?

"Look, I'll take that as an opportunity to tell you face to face that I truly am sorry for what I did to you so… Yeah I'm sorry Y/N. I really wish you'll find someone good for you, you deserve it-"

"Jooheon, I told you I got you" you cut him, and the whisper of his name coming out of your freezing lips tranquilized its owner instantly. "Don't misunderstand what Kihyun just planned, I wasn't aware that you were coming either. I'm sorry but… Hearing you apologize and inducing that everything's over another time… Makes it kind of weird, I'm embarrassed right now."

You had become upset, as you had felt some kind of disappointment fall over you all of a sudden. Upset for having expected something to change with the time passing by ; for having felt the spark of excitement replacing your anger towards your colleague as soon as Jooheon had called your name ; for receiving his words like a good slap all over again when you had been supposed to let go and accept the reality of rejection three weeks ago already. Why did you keep on hoping?

You could already hear Jiwoo's voice scolding you with an "I told you!".

"Oh- I'm-"

"Don't" you smiled sadly. "Remember when she said sorry to you, did it make you feel any better?"

Jooheon's face contorted in displeasure and regret, and he passed a tensed left hand through his fluid hair, the locks enlightened by his shimmering red scar caressing them, and he cursed himself with thousands of insults inside his head. What had he been thinking?

"Someone told me that if your ideal leaves you, it means that you're not good for anyone else. So hearing you wishing me to find someone else… Kind of reminds me of this" you chuckled while looking away.

"Shit Y/N I'm so sor-… I didn't mean it that way, I just thought that apologizing to you face to face rather than behind a screen was at least more appropriate, because I know how it is to go through this so I was hoping to… Shit I don't know anymore" his words fell precipitately out of his mouth, and another wave of threatening tears accrued at the corner of your eyes.

"You don't have to feel guilty, okay? You should try to make yourself more comfortable with your choice, or else… Or else I'm gonna think that something's going on when there's not" you pursued with the same nervous laugh, your eyes dropping to your shoes as you nibbled at your lower lip. "So please… Don't worry, and don't be too harsh on yourself."

It had been as if you had read his inner emotions like they were scribbled on his face, finding what he couldn't point out in his mind then formulate, and soothing him with words to counter those insecurities. You never failed to find the right buttons to push at, and to his despair, you skimmed the one of his doubts, making his heart throb at the idea of taking risks that flashed through his mind.

"How come you're worrying about me when I'm the one who hurt you" he wondered aloud, before gasping as he heard his own voice that had betrayed him.

Because you cared for him. Because you could feel his pain now that he was near, your heart constricted under your ribcage the more you could read the guilt in his eyes that were begging for any sign of your forgiveness. Because apparently, the law left you no choice but to empathize with him no matter what he did, even if it included leaving you behind.

"I guess you know the answer since you experienced it too" you simply managed to answer before you would break into a sob. "I'll get going."

Something felt off in the way your exchange ended, Jooheon was even less at ease to part ways. He had apologized, to ensure that you would hear the sincerity of his excuses and to see you accept them ; but didn't it look like he had been looking for his inner peace rather than yours?

He could recognize himself in your reaction, as it had been the one he had adopted back when she had repeated the word "sorry" to him. However, he had been unable to hear the authenticity in her excuses as, just like you, all that remained was that you and him were being left behind no matter how guilty the one who was bidding goodbye felt.

But Jooheon didn't want you to experiment that loneliness, nor wanted the bright you to ostracize itself from everyday pleasures that would have brought a smile on your face before him ; so as your eyes were turning away from him as well as your figure, he spoke up :

"Why don't you stay?"

You faced him again and the unquavering look he conveyed to you made your heart jump up to your throat, yet ready to drop down at any second.

"What?"

"I said… Why don't you stay?" he reiterated, then gulped down his anticipation that had burned his rushed tongue.

You batted your eyelashes involuntarily as the incredulity galloped its way through your brain once you had processed his words.

"W-Why would I? Why would you want me to?"

"Because the guys are funny and nice, and because I liked it when we hanged together, it was cool" he simply stated, his brows going up on his forehead as he showcased a shrug.

"Is this a way for you to tell me we should be friends…?" you then asked ; however you weren't sure of how you would react if he ever came to say "yes".

"It is my way to tell you you shouldn't leave because of my stupid ass when you could spend a good evening with some dorks to make you laugh" he retorted.

His eyes were shining with expectation and maybe mischief, a cocktail that sparked some excitement in you and tickled your limbs to the point you almost returned him a warm smile as you could see how bad he was trying to make up for what he did – or thought he did – to you.

"At least you acknowledge the fact that you're stupid" you managed to joke, earning a shy chuckle from him. "Thanks but no, actually I'm pretty tired and I'm glad I escaped this situation with Kihyun because I would have had a short night, when tomorrow we need to finish some project…"

Jooheon's hand caressed his nape slowly as he nodded in understanding, and this time he was the one feeling the ache of disappointment when he probably shouldn't. Indeed, it was easier to let go behind a mobile phone's screen ; but now that this wall of fake-confidence wasn't there to help playing the cool ones, Jooheon felt like you could see how torn he was when you were supposed to believe that he was okay with his own decision.

"Alright…" his words trailed as well as his gaze on you, to the point you shivered as if you had been naked under the snow falling above your two dizzy heads.

You had found the courage to turn away a second time, when a last thought popped up in your mind, thought your tongue felt obliged to convey to him who had remained in his spot, watching you take a few steps away on the pavement.

"Oh and Jooheon" you spoke up with a small smile over your shoulder. "Just start practicing football again already. I saw you at the futsal on Kihyun's Instagram stories two days ago and you looked… Really happy. I think… That's actually the first step you need to take, y'know, to feel better with yourself, then maybe with life in general?"

These had been the only images and news you had had of him during the past three weeks, and you just had remembered how he had glowed with serenity and simple joy as he had been filmed kicking the ball with his friends. This was the Jooheon you wished for him to be, this was the bright version of him you thought deserved to be on full-time display, this was the self-love you wished he could give himself when you couldn't do it for him anymore.

"Thanks Y/N you're… Literally a good person like it's crazy."

But not good enough, once again, you thought.

"Comforting the guy who did you wrong and so on…" he breathed out.

You cared for him, so much that you hadn't been able to leave him on that awkward note, so much that your quavering heart felt at ease to see his lips draw a shy smile as he seemingly had been touched by your kind advice.

"Bye, then" you almost whispered to end up this conversation that could turn up to something too emotional in no time.

Another goodbye, less sour yet not that sweet as you both parted ways not as lovers, neither as friends, just as two hurt people who couldn't speak their hearts and minds up but only feel how confused they were. And if you were entangled invisibly to each other by the red string of fate, you still had to separate ways another time, and you finally turned your back on him. It was as if you were walking against the current, your whole soul pulled back to him who was looking at that beautiful silhouette he should let go of without regrets, his umpteenth sigh still not conveying his doubts to you.

*

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*  

Kihyun was looking at you from the corner of his half-closed eyes, and you were hesitating between smashing his head or simply laugh at his evidently dull state.

"I-I'm sorry…" he finally blurted out in a hushed voice, and the chuckle that had lurked deep inside your throat escaped despite you.

"About what? Your conspiracy that got me cornered and facing your friend in an embarrassing way, or the fact that you're a zombie on the day when you're supposed to be helping our team by being productive?"

You were waiting with your back against the wall in front of the meeting room, your files safely guarded under your crossed arms that covered your chest trembling due to stress. Your mind had to be at its best condition all day long so that at the end of this brainstorming, your Project manager would be satisfied and no more worried about one of the next huge events you had been offered to organize.

"I guess both, I messed up pretty badly…" Kihyun regretted as he pinched his nose bridge and you couldn't prevent your eyes from rolling up before they dropped on his pale figure.

"Oh yes you did, you moron" you sighed. "I hope your performing brain will help us as usual, or else if I die by the hands of the manager, you're dying with me."

Your team partner laughed tiredly before nodding, his briefcase held tight in his hand that was shivering as well, because of the little night he had spent and the anticipation getting on his nerves. While New Year's Eve was right around the corner, your team had already been picturing itself in the next decade. You had been assigned to draft an event destined to celebrate the merge of two small but successful companies – a Korean and a Chinese one. They had contacted you so you'd make them dream in the early spring of 2020, and the burden was real as the more time passed by, the more you were building a reputation, and the less you could allow yourselves to do any mistake.

The few instructions you had been given were that the clients were seeking for something fancy enough, and that they wished to invite all their employees so that they could get to know each other and learn to work together on good terms for the future. And those exact good terms, mainly depended on the successful night you would offer them as well as the few sponsors and investors who had been put on the guest list, so that they would never be able to forget about it but mostly be convinced to stick to a firm that treated them well.

Thankfully for you – and hungover Kihyun –, the meeting went well as you had been more prepared than you thought you would be in the midst of the confusion that plagued over your brain. So prepared, that the third idea you had come up with of renting a boat earned the votes and the trust of your Project Manager who complimented you on this plan you had worked hard on ever since the end of the National Federation of Football's party.

You finally looked back on how you had devoted yourself to work in order to forget about your heartache, and thanked your determined spirit as it had definitely paid off. This event truly had been your loophole to escape, only for a few hours within a day though, from your sickening thoughts about your love life.

"Oh right, about the staff we will need on the boat, I heard from the Korean firm that they have special recommendations they want to discuss with us about before we actually call our partners" Himchan informed you. "There are some people they worked with for previous events and who they trust so they'd like to have them on that night as well.

*

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*

Three months-and-a-bit later.

 You should have taken a closer look at the pile of folders containing the-said wanted workers your project manager had then handed to you that morning instead of leaving it on your desk to welcome some dust, because you would have been less appalled on the D-Day, as you were about to face your big clients.

Kihyun, Jiwoo and you quietly sat in the largest and fanciest of rooms in your building, organizing your ideas and files before the grand meeting. Like every single time even if you should have gotten used to it, your heart was ravaging your ribcage with great kicks of its own, and you felt hot as if you were in August under the sun of Madrid, and not in mid-March. Finally, the main door opened and Himchan entered with a reassuring smile pulling his traits, shortly followed by the two communication managers of the companies as well as their respective secretaries, a young woman and man.

You had exchanged a lot of e-mails and phone calls with the assistants during the past weeks, so you could say that you were pretty excited to finally get to talk to them without the barrier of a digital screen. The girl had been full of energy and had always asked if you needed help, reminding you of yourself in a way, while the male secretary had been quite formal but you had perceived a real kindness between the lines.

Yet, as soon as your eyes met the ones of the latter who translated the Chinese greeting of his chief for your knowledge, your left palm was set on fire, with the famous pleasuring pain that itched your skin and illuminated your… Heart-line.

You gave him a shy smile as you guessed he felt it too, the situation quite embarrassing when you were meeting at your workplace with all the eyes to see and a huge deal to conclude, however you observed with excitement the quick changing of expression on his face, his pupils suddenly darkening and pinning you to your chair, his lips parting slightly before he bit the lower one for a short moment, and his cheeks and ears reddening in no time.

Don't tell me…

He finally greeted you with a polite bow before taking place in the seat exactly facing yours, and you could read in his rushed attitude that he was flustered. While your team manager was delivering his speech, the guy started translating in real-time, mumbling the words while bending closely to his boss, who nodded and smiled as he progressively understood he was welcomed and thanked for having put his trust in your company.

You used his busy state as an opportunity to have a longer look at the figure of a new compatible man with you, and you could say you were quite flattered as the first word that came to mind to describe him was-

"Handsome. He's freaking handsome. You've been mailing this handsome guy, wow, your luck is real Y/N" Jiwoo whispered to your attention, quietly enough so you'd be the only one to hear that cringy remark and you nodded absent-mindedly, a smirk making its way to the corners of your mouth.

That handsome man was compatible with you, how lucky you were, indeed. He had chestnut blonde hair, slicked back and parted neatly with probably some wax, and his facial features were dangerously close to perfect. An angular nose, almond shaped eyes, thick and straight eyebrows, a peachy appealing mouth which covered an aligned dentition he finally showcased as he beamed at you once he had worded his name :

"Good morning, my name is Qian Jie, nice to meet you all."

"And I'm Jeon Jiwoo" your colleague pressed while passing a hand in her hair, and you had to sew your lips so that you wouldn't cackle before her childish behavior.

"I'm Y/L/N Y/N, nice to finally meet you too."

His eyes fell on your face once again and you were sure this time he was blushing, either because his grey turtleneck under his dark anthracite costume was too hot now that he wasn't braving the wind outside ; either because, just like you a month ago, he was staring at…

His ideal.

It was your turn to blush at this absurd idea and you shook your head from the left to the right to reason yourself ; the world was little, but this just couldn't be.

"I'm Jang Sora, I'm glad to meet you all as well, and to see you again, Kihyun" a feminine voice resounded in your ears and you finally paid attention to the woman secretary who was smiling at you then at your colleague who suddenly looked flustered.

"I'd never imagined we'd meet again under these circumstances" Kihyun nodded.

"You two know each other?" your manager asked enthusiastically.

The dark-haired girl chuckled, eyes with a single eyelid shining as if they had taken a ray of sun outside to illuminate them in a light brown, then she spoke up again :

"Yes, we happened to hang together a while ago, friends of friends!"

Kihyun was hanging his head low, and you could decipher how he forced a smile as he obviously was swimming under a sea of discomfort. Who was she to put the unwavering Yoo Kihyun in such a state? She definitely looked charismatic, young but surely experimented, just like what she had showed you through mails and voice calls as she started leading the discussion by relaying accurate and precise questions while her chief only came in to speak in the name of his own boss : what he liked, disliked, wanted, feared. They embodied a powerful business duet that got you talking to them with precautions and staying on your toes to be sure you were convincing enough and show them you hadn't been idle all this time.

On the other hand, your compatible match was still translating everything, would it be what you said or what his manager said, but what disturbed you more than his handsomeness and your burning hand was the fact that he kept on kissing your silhouette with his eyes. The few times you dared to support his gaze, you came across an unreadable expression, between warm and intense, something that gave you the chills as you were thrilled to be the one receiving such attention in a long time.

"About the workers, we sent you their profiles, did you receive them?" Sora asked while combing her bangs with a quick hand move, and you took the pile in your hands with a smile.

"They're right here, but we haven't contacted them yet as we wanted to confirm the place with you above all! Is there any priority between them, so that we know who to call first?" you looked her in the eyes and she nodded vigorously, accepting the files you slid on the table to her side.

"Let's see… Yes, there's those three, and… this one. They've worked with us for a few events and were well appreciated, we would like it if they were to be here again. They knew our directors' preferences in each area so they might be useful to you and the other staff you'd hire!"

Out of seven recommendations, she pushed four of them back to you fully opened, and when your eyes caught the sight of a familiar ID photography as if it was the only thing filling the white page resuming the professional experience, you almost gasped.

Lee Jooheon.

With a solemn face and short black hair, the boy of your dreams was watching you from his laid-down position, his sharp eyes, as diminished as they were in the small picture, still catching your breath and provoking exhilarating sensations in your body. The attention of your teammates diverted towards you as quickly as a finger snap, and you did your best to bottle your flustered state deep down in your twisted stomach as you had to remain professional and not let your personal matters mingle with your work ones. You couldn't object even if you wanted to ; but it burned your tongue and made your ears ring as the same thought kept banging in your head : Why? How? Why? How? WHY?

Somehow, you heard Kihyun shifting in his chair before the opened file of your ideal disappeared in his hands, and when you leveled up your pupils, you could read in the look Sora was giving your colleague that she particularly cared for this candidate.

"I'll contact this one" he informed as he lowered the papers for his eyes to shoot question marks at his interlocutor, who nodded in consideration.

_______

You knew the world was small, as in this very room, had been sitting a man compatible with you when he should have been just a business partner.

However, you didn't know yours would keep on spinning around Lee Jooheon for so long after that last encounter at the bar three months ago, or else you would have prepared yourself for this kind of coincidence to happen anytime. Or else, this situation wouldn't have felt as if Sora had taken a knife and rammed it over your wound all over again. Or else, you wouldn't have been that devastated right after the end of the meeting, completely forgetting about Jie as you were pacing round and round in the rest area, for Kihyun to watch.

Because while everyone in the room had been sharing his or her advice until they were satisfied with the terms of the negotiations, your mind had been half occupied by the task of making the link the between the care in Sora's eyes, the discomfort between her and your colleague, and the re-apparition of your soulmate. And the conclusion you had come to find was…

"That's her, right?" you barked at Kihyun who jolted in surprise at your little burst out. "That's his ex!"

"Lower your voice, they're still here!" he warned you. "And yes, she is" he then shrugged.

"You saw her name in the contracts, right? Why didn't you tell me?! This is so embarrassing!" you ruffled your hair and threw an accusing look at him.

How come the law, or maybe life in general, were so determined to mess up with you? Did they wish to see the vise tighten itself around you to the point it would feel like you definitely couldn't escape from this? Were you between the hands of a sadist pulling at the strings that would ridicule you the most?

"So what if she's his ex? What does it change? You would have refused to take part in the project? We are working here!" your colleague and friend answered, his tone inducing that he was a bit annoyed.

Yet, he marked a point and you grumbled in defeat, his face now showing he was completely unphased by your anger – angering you even more.

"This is so embarrassing Kihyun, I don't know where to hide myself right now" you then moaned while rubbing your blushing face with your panicked hands.

"Because you don't have to hide! I repeat : what if she's his ex?" Kihyun emphasized, less and less sure that he could follow your train of thoughts.

"What are you going to do with him?" you ignored his question because, well, you didn't have an answer to it.

The sigh that left his thin lips was so displeasing to hear.

"I'm gonna call him and propose him the offer, just like I am supposed to do" he explained in a calm tone, hoping it would help you to calm down too.

Your eyes came across his and even more than his sigh, his stern expression wasn't to your liking, at all. First his trap at the bar, now this secret information that could have helped you digest the whole thing better ; he might be the one wanting you to have a heart attack, in the end.

Your new year's resolution had been to move on from Lee Jooheon and to stop considering love as a priority for a while, and you had been doing quite fine up 'til now. Why? Because you hadn't seen his face ever since that night on the sidewalk, or more exactly, you had avoided it or anything that could remind you of him like some kind of bacteria. Posts of Kihyun on social medias? Muted, as well as his voice when he made the mistake to pronounce his name – one killing stare and that was it. The club he worked at? Banned from your options to have a funny night. The TV corner talking about football and his great return? You knew exactly its time slot depending on the day now. And positive thoughts? Always welcomed, as well as the flirting with some guys on dating apps or at your friends' parties. He had been doing well without you in the meantime, retrieving his old life, so why shouldn't you?

"Stop looking at me like that" you hissed through gritted teeth, wishing to smack Kihyun's confident expression out of his face.

"Like what? Like I'm hearing some bullshit coming out of your mouth? Sorry but that's actually the case so I can't help it" he then smiled cockily, and strangely enough, your cheeks tickled as he made you want to laugh at yourself as well.

You knew you were overreacting, but you couldn't help it. Why did it suddenly feel like the carefree attitude you had adopted was as fragile as a house of cards, ready to get whisked away by what you only saw as a storm coming right at you?

If every single effort you had put in forgetting about Lee Jooheon had paid off, then why were you panicking? The thought that maybe you had been more of an impostor than you'd like to admit was turning your blood cold.

"You're going to hide it from him too? And the fact that she actually recommended him?" you asked your partner while regaining your composure.

"So that's what's actually bugging you, I see…" Kihyun nodded, the smirk still present on his pale face.

"Of course it is!" your lingering care for him spoke for itself. "It means she's still interested in him, and if they meet again… If they meet again…"

You didn't want to imagine it. As much as you certainly didn't wish to see him at all, you needed even less to witness him shattering in front of his ex when she had already turned him into a mess. Or worse, to watch their romance bloom all over again if you ever had read her eyes rightly, and to feel uncomfortable, if not hurt.

"I don't want to see it, no thanks." you told yourself aloud, and to your surprise, Kihyun got what you meant with only those few words.

"You won't see it. You know why? Because the man she works for, the manager we saw earlier, is her ideal, and they're actually dating, she left Jooheon for this guy. She just has affection and surely pity for him. I'm sure she wants to see him again just to be sure he's doing fine because she cares about him in a way."

"Then did you think of him? Did you think of how hurt he'd be to see them together?" you pointed out his negligence that seemed to keep on revealing itself ever since his questionable choice back at the bar.

Kihyun chuckled at your worries and crossed his arms, looking at you tenderly this time.

"You sound pretty concerned for someone who's proclaimed herself as, I quote, "careless about boys" just a few days ago for the umpteenth time..."

"I-I'm just empathic, unlike you it seems" you scoffed with a shrug.

"I am always thinking of my brothers first. And what I am thinking nowadays about him, is that you resolve trauma by trauma. Trust me, Y/N, I was wrong at the bar last time, but right now, I know what I'm doing."

Every single pore of his skin, every single inch of his posture were screaming that he actually did know what he was doing, his confidence emanating from him like a glowing and powerful aura, so much that it chased the cloud of panic you had been struggling in away.

"You always have the last word, huh?" you sighed before it faded into a smile.

"That's why we always conclude contracts, I'm the best at convincing. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make…" he crooned as he walked away with Jooheon's number and nickname displaying on his phone's screen, and you caressed your flushed cheeks before sighing again, the anticipation pressuring your lungs.

Suddenly – but not so surprisingly…– you wished to meet him again. Your shell had indeed been made of glass, as your inner voice was already whining that you wanted him to be there on that night. And bitterly, you realized that you had moved on, yes, but not far enough ; you had let go, yes, but not of everything.

You felt so upset to see that you had definitely been convincing yourself half-heartedly. But well, that colleague and supposedly friend of yours was definitely not helping.

"Y/N, you forgot your stuff in the room" Himchan informed you as he walked past the rest area, followed by the very ex and her actual boyfriend you bowed to.

You sprinted towards the meeting room, hoping it would be empty so that you could groan loudly once and for all to evacuate the weight of distress crashing your ribcage. She was so pretty, so well-mannered, so determined, so professional, so feminine, that it made you feel like a naked worm who just deserved to be left alone in the dirt, and nowhere near the blooming flower she was. You were no competition for her, and she was the perfection Jooheon deserved according to the law ; how come you had expected anything?

Some unwelcomed tears came to play with your eyelids, as if your body was laughing at you by trying to make you properly pitiful. Three months had gone by, but your stomach still twisted at the sight of his picture? REALLY?

"Excuse me, Miss Y/L/N?" a voice as soft as velvet smoothed your eardrums that had been buzzing for the last two minutes, and you looked back to thank with your eyes the one who had prevented you from becoming deaf and suffering from a harsh headache.

And that very person happened to be the one whose way of ending your sentences and picturing your ideas as if you had drawn them yourself in his mind had petrified you in the same meeting room earlier, and now just his gaze did in the corridor as he smiled broadly before approaching your shaken figure.

Jie truly was handsome and beyond chic, making him intimidating but not in a negative way, just one that made you respect and admire him without even knowing him inside-out. He could be compared to the handsome main character in a manga before whom the girl – and the reader as well – was losing the strength in her limbs.

"I wished to ask you earlier but you disappeared quite quickly… Would you like to meet tomorrow night for a team gathering, with your colleagues? We've been working together for a while now but we haven't been able to talk properly without a working context, I thought it would be nice for our teams to get to know each other in a friendly manner" he offered, to your great surprise.

The idea was not so bad, and you knew that when it came to going out for a drink, your teammates were always the first ones to respond positively.

"Oh yes, that's a great initiative! Thanks for proposing!" you smiled, and realized that you felt more at ease ever since he was facing you, as if the air around you was fresh and clean, not thick and overpowering.

He seemed to relax as he heard your answer, then he took in a sharp breath before asking :

"Then… Can I have your personal number? I only have the one from your office… So that I can tell you the time and address?"

Bold move. Had he been anyone else, you would have not seen anything else than a professional and nice proposition ; however, something in your guts was telling you there was more to it. From the way his eyes were always so dark and sparkly when they crossed your stare, from the way he smiled confidently but his cheeks were flushed, from the way he had dared to stand so close to you… You could recognize your own flirty behavior from the night at the club when you had met Jooheon, and as scared as you were to admit it, you were 97% sure that you were his ideal one.

The question was : was it fate that you had crossed paths? And if yes, should you give it a try? This man had no choice but to like you and wish to stay by your side, or at least the chances were slimmer for him to leave like every man before him had, however… However, why did you feel like you were cheating on Jooheon as you grasped his phone between your shy fingers to type your number, when the guy was supposed to be nothing but a souvenir you should free yourself of?

Jie happily took the device back and shoved it into his blazer's pocket, and after one last long glance at your traits, he left to look for his boss. Unbeknownst to you who had still read the other signs, his heart was pounding under his chest and his head was busy thinking of you until the next day when you were about to meet again.

*

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* 

Qian Jie [11:15 a.m.] : Hello Y/N, this is Jie. I hope you had a great morning. I'm texting you to send the address and time as agreed. Here is the map with the location. Let's say we should meet at 8.30 p.m., is that okay with you? 😊

You were the last one to show up at the fancy dining bar, which was already full of university students, co-workers, friends on a hangout or even loners, all sitting around barbecue plates grilling fresh meat and vegetables. The scent of alcohol and food stimulated your buds and your mouth watered as you wandered between the tables, looking for familiar faces.

And the familiar face you finally spotted was the one of a blonde man smiling while grilling some piece of what you guessed was beef, and as if he had sensed you coming, Jie immediately leveled up his eyes to meet yours. Your left hand heated up in no time, but less than your cheeks as you could clearly read in his stare that he was finding you… Pretty. His pupils scanned your silhouette quickly from head to toes, before he came right back at your face and his cheekbones reddened a bit as he finally gave you the biggest of smiles.

He pressed himself to move his things that had been displayed on the seat next to him, and he then silently motioned you to come and take the place he had just arranged. Had he done it on purpose? Probably. Did you find it cute? Maybe. Noticing his agitated and excited state, everyone at the table finally turned around or stopped looking at their phones to acknowledge you, and your colleagues all exclaimed :

"Y/N! Finally!"

"What took you so long?" Jiwoo, who was sitting at the far end of the table – and consequently at the opposite of the seat you were supposed to take at Jie's side – asked you with a sly smile, as during the day, you had finally confessed to her who you thought that handsome man was to you, or more accurately, who you were to him.

You had been quite embarrassed to tell her as you knew she had found him pretty attractive, but Jiwoo never ceased to surprise you with her cheerful state which never betrayed an ounce of jealousy. Surprised you as well, because if she was then sitting far away from Jie, she seemed to have found another target in the teammates from Sora's company. Indeed, each secretary had brought their coworkers responsible of the communication about the event or supposed to help you, your group then occupying at least three tables.

What had taken you so long, had been firstly the tasks you had wished to finish before leaving the building, and also your hard time choosing your outfit. In a way, you had wished to look pretty, but it wasn't exactly because of Jie's presence ; it was more because you were utterly conscious of Sora's. You had dreaded all day long to meet her – and her boyfriend – again, as you felt intimidated and embarrassed to be working with Jooheon's ex. That very ex whom he couldn't get over, and who, in a way, had deprived you of a relationship you had been dreaming of for so long.

You had then opted for a corduroy camel dress with large straps, wore over an oversized shirt, as well as comfortable boots and your favorite jacket. You considered you were right at the middle between casual and feminine ; at least, you felt pretty enough to finally take a seat next to Jie whose masculine yet fresh cologne hit you more than the smell of meat.

"Forgive me, I had to finish up a few things, the company's closed for three days in a row so I won't be able to work" you explained to Jiwoo and the rest of your team after everyone at the table had introduced themselves, and Kihyun chuckled at your remark.

"I hope you're going to take a break for the week-end and not think of work" he then inquired as he poured you some beer.

"You have a long week-end? How lucky of you!" Sora suddenly exclaimed with her hands clasping, making her boyf-… Her boss, laugh before his lips touched his glass.

God, it was painted all over his face ; he just loved her. His eyes were bearing an enamored spark as they landed on her, his long lashes giving them something so tender you felt chills on your arms just by watching.

You secretly wished someone – Lee Jooheon – would look at you like that. Oh but, Lee Jooheon had probably looked at her like that back in their days. Lucky her.

Before you could slap yourself to get out of your pitiful thoughts and way too envious state so that you could actually enjoy your night, Jie's smooth voice resounded in your eardrums :

"You want some?" he asked while holding a piece of meat between the pliers in his left hand, and you finally saw it.

Shining so brightly, looking more vivid than the heating charcoal under the barbecue plate in front of him, his life-line was lightened for you to see. You had been right : you were his ideal. You couldn't do anything except for nodding as this revelation and his two dark eyes boring into yours caught you off guard.

Was that him actually looking at you lovingly, like that, as you had just wished?

"Let me make you a wrap then" he smiled as he turned away from you to work on his preparation.

Your eyes dropped on his veiny forearms that were revealed as he had rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt to his elbows, before they dared to spy his profile. It was neat, as if sculpted in marble, as if borrowed from a manhwa. His hair looked wet on purpose and were combed back with the same hairstyle as the day before, yet a few strands were falling before his forehead, probably having lost the battle against the breeze outside. Was it because you felt lonely that you suddenly found him really attractive? Probably, because your heartbeat hadn't changed. However, at the thought that you were the girl of this man's fantasies, waves of heat came crashing against your skin and you bit your lip.

Was it a coincidence that he showed up now, or a sign that your heart should give a chance for another man to take it?

As Jie handed the piece of meat and lettuce neatly folded to you, you felt in his eyes that he was conveying a bit of his emotions at the same time, as something really sweltering was sparkling in them and lit up a tiny flame down your stomach. That man was so elegant and charming, and he dreamed to be with someone like you.

But that elegance and charm weren't the only great things you could list to describe him. As the dinner went on, you did your best to turn a blind eye on Sora's presence at the table and ended up chatting with Jie and his colleagues, whom you discovered were all good at Korean or English, and pretty nice. But Jie was always the nicest, the gentlest, the smartest, the fiercest of them all, at least in your eyes as you stared at him shamelessly.

He had dimples, just like Jooheon, but you quickly came to the conclusion that it was the only thing the two men had in common, probably explaining why the little light Jie's eyes had turned on inside you had soon been eaten by the remaining feelings Jooheon apparently still put you through just at the thought of him.

Jie was reserved, calm, hard-working. You came to understand that he was at least two years older than you, making you somehow shy and impressed. And you could read, in the eyes of his co-workers that gradually were turning red because of the soju you were sharing, that they all had a huge respect and admiration for him.

He was the perfect businessman every team would wish to work with : a good listener and an opportunity giver as he always asked about the quiet ones' opinions ; a responsible and wary person as he warned a teammate about how he should stop drinking because he had to meet his wife back home ; a polite mediator when he sensed that someone's remark could offend others, starting to calmly show to that person how rude he or she had been, or explaining his or her words so that everyone felt equally understood and not attacked.

And even though he didn't look like it, he was a funny guy. A timid one, but his jokes and his lovely smiles never failed to spread the happiness on the rest of the table's faces. He looked icy on the outside, having the silhouette of the serious secretary tightly gripped in his suit and shoes ; however, with how he remembered everyone's preferences when cooking the meat – including yours –, you could see that he was very warm.

On top of that, you truly felt how the law had made you a match to him, as he always seemed to complete your trail of thoughts, opening your eyes to another view you hadn't seen yet ; as he sensed when you didn't wish to drink anymore, stopping his teammates when they insisted to pour you a glass ; as he looked like he was eager to hear anything coming from your mouth, generously complimenting you for what you had achieved but without ever crossing the line where it would be too much.

Qian Jie was undeniably a sweet, sweet man, a man who embodied the perfect groom every mom would wish for her daughter to join at the end of the aisle ; nevertheless, objective perfection wasn't yours, and so the law was telling you.

Because, sadly for him, you couldn't help but compare his traits to your own ideal once you had drunk and eaten enough to do it without feeling your stomach knot.

It wasn't that Jooheon couldn't fit with the words warm, calm, or caring ; it just wasn't the same. Jooheon was more mischievous, more spontaneous and care-free when it came to talk about life stuff. On the few Instagram stories Kihyun had shared, you had seen him lose his temper during the futsal, or laugh and shout like a dork when he scored a goal. During the time you had spent chit-chatting with him at the bar or texting him afterwards, you had been attracted to his mysterious side, but his bubbly one had drawn you to him even more. It was that very spark that you liked, that insouciant charm he had, which certainly had been distraught by Sora but still managed to manifest itself from behind the walls Jooheon had built.

Just like his hair, Jooheon was fire, when Jie was water. The first one was full of passionate feelings to express, so much that he was about to break, so much that he was impulsive just like he had been that night with you ; when the latter seemed to prefer the smoothest of ways, always putting much thought in his actions and wordings, even in a situation where he had alcohol thickening his blood and was supposedly struck by the powers of the law.

You then wondered : what was the law's message to you? How come your ideal was fire, when you were supposed to suit water? Was it that you should trouble Jie's flow of life and make it more exciting and wilder, or that you should've canalized the flames so that Jooheon wouldn't burn himself anymore?

______

"Let's play a game! Girls versus boys, c'mon!" Changmin, the guy from your team who was the same age as yours, suddenly shouted, with his rosy cheeks inducing that he had swallowed a lot of booze.

You all agreed cheerfully and started exchanging seats, and in all the haste you accidentally ended up next to Sora, realizing then that you were going to get paired with her. She smiled at you immediately, and you wished she had been less beautiful, less kind, less lovely as she started a conversation with you while the boys were still struggling to understand the game's rules. Just as Jie and Jooheon were a world apart from each other, you felt diminished next to her, crumbling under the pile of differences you were spotting between the both of you.

You compared yourself again and again, as she shared with you her story about how she managed to climb up the ladder in her company at such a young age, as she envied your imagination but had the audacity and business-logic you lacked in, as she was so damn adorable that you could understand why Jooheon's heart hadn't turned to you at once. And if you couldn't see any flaws in him plausibly because the law was blinding you, this time you had your eyes fully opened as you watched and beamed at her, yet you couldn't pinpoint any flaws in her as well. You then imagined how hard it must be to fall out of love with someone like her, and how hard Jooheon must believe that he would never find better .

"Hello? Oh hey Jooheon!" Kihyun suddenly shouted over the ambient noise and his eyes instantly narrowed at you, a sickening smile twisting the corners of that filthy mouth of his.

You looked back at him as your body tensed up ; your ears did their best to catch the slightest word from this conversation ; your hands crumpled the napkin on your lap ; and your heart simply stopped beating as it had ascended up to your throat.

"Really? You're not kidding? You're taking the job?!" he exclaimed loud enough for you to hear. "Aaaaah you thought well my son, I can't wait to be your boss! You should be nice to me or I'll reduce your pay… Anyway good choice mate! Where I am? I'm out drinking and eating with Y/N and other colleagues!"

The way he insisted on your name punched an iron fist into your chest, which grabbed your bloody organ and pulled it down your throat to your stomach. Sora was right next to you and you could bet that she was listening too. What was he doing, putting on a show, all the while staring at you?!

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, you cursed him through squinted eyes, and when you turned your attention back to your game partner, she was looking at you with surprisingly fond eyes.

However, she didn't say a word and simply grabbed your hands gently as Changmin told you to do so, and the game began, with a lot of laughter, too much mistakes and shouts, and thankfully, it stole your time to realize that you definitely were going to meet him again under those weird circumstances. Changmin sounded like he was full of crazy ideas tonight, as he shouted again, with his high-pitched voice :

"Let's go to the Golden Tiger! We're regulars there, we'll have some discounts! I like all of you so I want to treat you all with the company card!"

You suddenly felt as if you were going under a high fever, chills sliding down your skin while your head started spinning. Why that club, out of all the others? There were plenty of party sites in Seoul, why would he think of the one Jooheon works in? There were too much of coincidences in a short time, too much for you at least.

"I think I'll go home" you shyly muttered after a few seconds of zoning out and you stood up clumsily, hoping to escape as you knew your coworkers could turn into sharp traps clenching your ankle and preventing you to flee the scene.

You obviously knew that going down there was going to result in you losing your reason as you were completely disturbed by the love triangle you were tangled in. You would end up doing crazy things to evacuate all your stress, such as such as going to Jooheon's counter and bawl your eyes out before him because you felt empty and way too emotional after having spent the night with his ex. With that very ex to watch and him only paying attention to her and not to your ridiculous state, on top of that. This scenario was close to the one of a nightmare, and it was definitely a no-no.

You spanned the bench you had been seating on and everyone followed your lead, thinking you were pressed to go clubbing when you actually just couldn't stay in place and wished to run away as fast as you could. Once outside, your heels were bouncing slightly on the pavement, as you clutched your phone against your heart while the rest of the group was busy paying for your food, going to the restroom or trying to light a cigarette in spite of the breeze. Then, as you were about to bid them goodbye, Sora's voice was suddenly heard delivering the same excuse as yours, but with an alibi no one could question :

"I think we'll go home, that mister obviously can't follow" she struggled to say with a smile as she had the arm of her boyfriend hooked around her neck, his legs apparently giving up on him and making him completely lean on her, with his head down.

"Where do you think you're going?" Jiwoo threw darts at you with her eyes as she could guess from your moving figure that you were impatiently waiting for the moment to slip away.

"I'm-"

"Y/N, can I have a word with you for a second?" Sora suddenly called you out behind your back as she tossed her boss's body over to one of their colleagues who whined at how heavy he was.

Cold sweat ran down your spine and you gulped, your body always suffering from high tension whenever your eyes met hers.

"What is it?" you asked her after having taken a few steps away with her at your side, your tongue heavy and your cheeks completely flushed.

Even though the fresh air was stimulating your senses, they were quite altered by the effects of alcohol. You hadn't drunk that much, yet you had barely managed to stuff something to eat down your throat, too immersed into Jie's doings next to you, when you hadn't been thinking about Jooheon.

Through your half-closed eyelids, you could still see that the young woman was somehow hesitant, swaying from one foot to another and her fingers fiddling with each other. She bit her lip as she looked up at you, before grabbing your shoulders.

"Look… I'm sorry but I can't help saying what's been on my mind… I think… You know me" she started with a smile, and your tension suddenly went up to its limit, making you dizzier than you already were. "Or should I say, you know Jooheon, and through him… You know who I was to him. I read it in your eyes on the day of the meeting, and I read it on your face tonight, when he called."

You felt so ashamed that you wished a black hole could suck you up in an instant far away from her grasp and her eyes still looking at you caringly.

"I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to feel uncomfortable with me around! We are working together and he'll be there on the ship. To be honest, I wished Jooheon could meet someone after me who made him realize I wasn't the best for him, and if that's you- Oh my god sorry this sounds weird" she pressed her words. "I just think you're such a cool girl, Y/N. I haven't seen Kihyun trying so obviously hard in a while, he wouldn't if he didn't think you were too! I hope you two last long!"

_______

"What's going on between them?" Kihyun asked as his eyes fell on his friend's ex and you, the concern clear in his voice as he had just stepped out of the dining bar.

"I don't know, but Y/N wants to leave" Jiwoo grumbled before shivering as a whirlwind shrouded her body and messed with her light blonde hair.

"Ah…" your colleague sighed before taking his phone out to answer to his last message.

Kihyun [11:30 p.m.] : Dude, we're going to your club, is there a free table for the twelve of us?

My kid Jooheon [11:36 p.m.] : TWELVE?

My kid Jooheon [11:36 p.m.] : I'll see what I can do, but you better pay the bill tonight not like the last time, I'll never be nice to you again

My kid Jooheon [11:36 p.m.] : AND STOP TEXTING ME WHEN I'M AT WORK FFS

Kihyun [11:38 p.m.] : Well you're answering anyways, thanks I love yooooou

My kid Jooheon [11:39 p.m.] : Y/N's coming?

Kihyun [11:45 p.m.] : Oh, weird question isn't it, you never ask abt her

Kihyun [11:45 p.m.] : But I don't think so man

My kid Jooheon [11:46 p.m.] : Ah… I hope that's not because of me, I don't want her to miss a great night like she did last time at the bar

Kihyun [11:46 p.m.] : You're still thinking of this? Shit I guess I really messed up that time wow

[Unread message] Jooheon [11:46 p.m.] : Oh really no kidding

Kihyun [11:48 p.m.] : She's a bit drunk right now so I just think she's tired

Kihyun was lying, because he was well aware of your reasons without you wording it to him ; however, he couldn't make his friend feel worse than he already was.

My kid Jooheon [11:49 p.m.] : Someone's taking her home, right?

Kihyun [11:49 p.m.] : I don't know, she's about to leave now

My kid Jooheon [11:50 p.m.] : Ok…

My kid Jooheon [11:50 p.m.] : I know it's awkward of me to ask but… Just don't let her walk home alone, please

______

"I got rejected" you had managed to reply to Sora in the meantime.

Her rant had killed you on the spot, her kindness completely fired up with alcohol and drifting to something close to indiscretion without her wanting it to. You knew her words weren't meant to hurt you, but it still did.

She was so desperate to have Jooheon moving on, to lessen the burden on her shoulders, the weight of the pain she had caused obviously still tormenting her. Just like him trying with you, she was seeking for a way to his happiness on his behalf, but in your eyes, it was mainly in order to make up for her guilt.

"Y/N!" Kihyun suddenly ran up the pavement to you, pushing discretely his phone in his pocket as he wished to keep his last conversation a complete secret and try to execute his "mission".

"Yes?" you threw a jaded stare at him.

You didn't have the strength to deal with two people wishing for a relationship between Jooheon and you  to happen when you knew better than them that the latter didn't want to see it bloom to begin with. You were too tired to prove them wrong and fight against their concerns that were anything but touching at this point. Your lower lip started to tremble as you gave Kihyun a pleading, defeated look ; you were on the verge of breaking into a set of tears as you wished for nothing except for you to be safe and sound in your apartment, falling asleep so that this long night would be put to an end and another day would come quicker. A day where you'd be back to your strong-self dealing amazingly with her feelings and her everyday life without romance like she had promised herself to do.

"Y/N, let's go" Jie suddenly told you from his position a few feet away, saving you from hell as if he had heard your secret prayers, as if he was the only one to get the distress you were drowning in. "I'm not going to the club either, so I shall come with you. C'mon, I'll take you home."

The second your stare came across his and his reassuring tone caressed your eardrums, some salty, hot, tickling water definitely accrued at the crease of your eyelids. That kind man down there had fulfilled your needs without you even asking for it. He would certainly work for your happiness, and he was probably already fond of you and could be for a long time if you'd just let him ; still, the warm smile he addressed you wasn't enough to falter the misery the name "Jooheon" had pushed you in all over again. Nothing could ever make up for it, no one could fill up the void in your heart, except for Jooheon himself. However, he wouldn't. And to realize that, after three months of persuasion, was eating you alive.

       Kihyun [11:55 p.m.] : She's leaving now, with a man from the company we'll be working for…

*

**

***

**

*

You couldn't clearly picture the way back home with Jie when you woke up the next morning with your head wheezing painfully, and you never tried to recall it afterwards as you spent your long weekend reconciliating with the fighting spirit you had sported 'til the past two days. You just knew you had walked for a while and felt a hint of his touch on your shoulders as he had covered them with his coat. You could picture yourself hopping in a taxi, yet you couldn't remember if you had talked, fallen asleep, or maybe cried in front of him ; neither did you know how you had managed to enter your flat and find your way to bed.

Qian Jie [10:06 a.m.] : Are you alright?

This lone message had put a smile on your dry lips, and your heavy fingers had managed to type a "yes, thank you for asking and taking me home yesterday" even though the room had seemed to be turning around your body, not helping to focus. You hadn't drunk that much to the point of enduring a blackout and such a harsh hangover, but you could guess that it simply were your brain and body that refused to cooperate after they had been plunged into the swamp of your negative emotions all over again.

However, you took the signs into account and instead of burying your emotions deep down as the tsunami they turned into once triggered wasn't welcomed, you accepted the fact that you were damned to like Lee Jooheon for a longer while. You hadn't been able to force your feelings out no matter how hard you had tried, then only being nicer to yourself could lift the weight of misery off your shoulders and help you not to falter at the sound of his name next time.

Meanwhile, you allowed yourself to chat with Jie sometimes for work, sometimes casually as he managed to push the conversation over event-related things. Of course you liked talking to him, as your mind was somehow destined to clink with his more than with the rest of men in this world, and obviously Jie seemed to be falling for you as you deciphered the sweet tone in his voice every time he would call you to check on – futile – things. And if his feelings were still one-sided for now, you gave your heart a break by stopping the overthinking and just enjoying your little excitement ; maybe you'd turn the page too before you'd know it…?

However, the day you had to see Jooheon's face again came sooner than you had expected, because right after you had come back to work, your team manager had had the wonderful idea to plan a briefing reunion between your team and the staff you had hired for the food making, the service, the animation or the music, were they independent workers or specialized companies which would then send a representant. You would explain what you expected from them, what was the theme, what were the rules, what would be the organization, all of this around a small buffet.

Himchan had thought that it would be a more humane and clearer way than communicating by mail or phone, and if you couldn't deny, your nervous heart didn't thank him on the D-Day while you were waiting in your company's hall to greet the convoked people. Of course, Jooheon wouldn't be represented as he had been especially recommended ; so of course, instead of having the information relayed to him by someone else, he was going to hear it from your mouth directly, your very mouth that still itched at the thought of your kiss ; and of course, Kihyun had ensured you with a smirk that his friend had confirmed his presence. How professional of him. What confused you above it all, was that you couldn't decipher the reason why he would still accept this job, when he was back in the football game…

______

The clock was ticking on the watch enclosing his left wrist, and Jooheon found himself unable to walk through the glass doors of the huge building without having the fear that his heart would burst like a firework. Once again, his body was strangely stimulated by some flashes of thoughts he had of you every once in a while, and that never missed to make him feel edgy. Had he really made the right choice, wouldn't his mind had let go of the memories just like ashes evaporating in the air by now?

He hated how indiscreet his eyes had been these past months, lurking at Kihyun's phone's screen whenever he was sliding through his feed on Instagram, hoping he'd get to see a picture of you smiling and being – at least apparently – well. Because he, had been doing pretty well. Much better, to be precise.

Just like you had suggested him to, he had finally gathered the sufficient courage to confront his second biggest fear, football, as he couldn't stand the feeling of being such a loser and scaredy-cat anymore. Stopping to live like that had somehow been his way to cope with what he had done to you. He had then met with his coach after a long time of ignoring his calls, who had gladly welcomed him and re-offered his help to train him all over again, as well as his teammates who were happy to get their brother back in the family.

And as he had finally felt alive on the track field after a long time of wandering like a lost soul between his home and the club, his thankful heart and mind had only been craving to tell you how right you had been. In the end, without even being by his side anymore, you still had been the wind pushing him across the paths of challenges but happiness as well, would it be that night or right now, and Jooheon could never forget how this quick passage of yours had marked him for life. You had tamed the fire within him, reason why the ashes were still around…

His sharp eyes had barely caught the sight of you chatting with Kihyun and whom he guessed were other colleagues behind the windows, that his stomach twisted itself just like his mother used to twist their drenched laundry.

"Lee Jooheon, we need to go, they're waiting" a dismayed voice called him out.

His agent was standing in front of the doors, his expression clearly inducing how impatient and upset he was starting to feel before his childish behavior.

"Why'd you come anyway? It's embarrassing, I don’t need you for personal affairs like these" the younger boy grumbled while pushing his hands into the pockets of his black trousers.

"The coach told me to see for myself how much of an important meeting you were attending for you to miss a training day" the man smiled sarcastically.

"Ah-a! I regret going back to him, I didn't know he'd be that clingy and wouldn't trust me ever again!" Jooheon scoffed, earning some time.

"It's not that he doesn't trust you, he's just scared that he'll lose you anytime, you're still his precious gem you know, the future of his club, the son he had lost for a while, his-"

"Oh no stop it please, this is cringy" Jooheon frowned while covering his ears, even if he still heard the laugh of his agent which drastically stopped as he pushed the door open.

"Come on. Let's go" he ordered with a straight face.

"I really didn't miss you, not once" the footballer sighed.

This man, Mr. Seo, a father of two kids and a devoted husband, had always been there for him, even when he had cut ties with everyone. He had kept on sending diet food and side dishes to his place after the injury, just like had been doing back when Jooheon was training under his protection, with encouraging notes telling him to take his time but to come back. Unfortunately for him, Jooheon had only felt more guilty and unworthy at the sight of these pure displays of affection he couldn't pay back, instead of getting cheered up.

Your stares met as soon as Jooheon made his entry, and the corners of his mouth couldn't help but curl themselves up to offer you a shy smile, his suffering stomach immediately untying so that it would welcome the fluttering sensation of sparks tingling its walls. Yet you didn't smile back, or more accurately, not at him but at someone coming from behind him as your eyes quickly left his. They indeed followed a man who strode past Jooheon's manager, wearing a dark brown suit and with a neat hairstyle, his blonde hair color seeming to be the one of his birth and not the result of bleaching the locks a few times. The man came to stand next to you, and as Jooheon was concentrating to distinguish your voice over the lots of blabbering around him in the hall, Kihyun called him out :

"Lee Jooheon! Oh hello Mr. Seo! Finally, I was about to call you!" his friend smiled, obviously having said it loud enough so that everyone would admire the latecomer.

All the faces turned to him as they heard the familiar name, belonging to a "football player who has made his comeback to the infamous club in Seoul and is preparing all over again to enter the national team in the near future". Or so the medias were saying, in such a dramatical way. As much as he hated being the center of attention, his coach had been going out and about his "great return" as well as his teammates on their social accounts – they were proud, but way too proud. Jooheon hissed discretely, noticing embarrassingly that a girl from the group was already gazing at him quite intently, but what embarrassed him the most was his brain that told him he would have liked to catch your attention instead.

However, you were still discussing with the suited man whose head was quite close to yours, showing him something on sheets you were arranging for him and nodding back at him, before you cleared your throat :

"Welcome everyone, and thank you for coming. Please follow us to the first floor where our team manager is waiting for you" you announced.

"Wow she's young" Jooheon heard a man whisper.

"And pretty hot" another muttered back before they giggled together.

The sparks in Jooheon's body suddenly lit up a flame that was about to blow up into a raging fire if he ever heard another comment coming from their dirty mouths. He hadn't known he would be that sensitive to see you again today, and if he had, he would have gladly stayed in bed this early morning. Everything was wrong about the way he was feeling right now, about how he was craving for your attention, about how he was nervous to be around you, when you seemed to be so calm – with that man standing at your side and smiling at you and you smiling back at him and him letting you enter the lift first as a true gentleman even if his hand on your back was a tad too much.

It was as if the situation was pushing him into a corner of discomfort the more he had your silhouette, which was lovely more than pretty hot, in his sight, that very silhouette he had refused to hold in his arms exclusively. He could feel the excitement bubbling within his limbs, sign that you still were like a shot of happiness to him, but what were those upsetting side-effects?

______

You stepped into a large room where the guests each chose a seat while you took place next to Himchan who was ready to give his speech. Jie sat at the front row, on your left, prepared to take notes so that he could relay the organization to his boss ; and thankfully, Sora had sent a colleague, putting the strangling reunion of your love triangle with Jooheon off to the scary date of the event.

"Good morning everyone! I'm Kim Himchan, the manager in charge of this project and this is Yoo Kihyun, Y/L/N Y/N and Jeon Jiwoo, my people, my team" your boss started with a clap of his hands.

Jooheon was sitting at the far back of the room, his right foot landed over his left knee, his hands with tangled fingers across his leg, his black turtleneck top under his camel trucker jacket catching your eye, but less than the fact that he had shortened his hair and the color had faded since the last time you met, signs that a long time had passed. Yet, his handsomeness never failed to feed your eyes, but when they met his dark pupils, your blood turned icy. He looked like the distant, rebellious kid at the back of the class that pinned the teachers down in their place with their piercing gaze.

You wondered if Jie was feeling the same way every time he met you, and if that was the case, you pitied him ; you were quite lucky to come across Jooheon only once in a while, as he shook your senses enough for you to feel disturbed even once you had parted, and you hated it.

Though this time, something had changed in him, but you couldn't pinpoint exactly what. Something in his look was turning your body stiff, just like it had the first time at the club ; it had been the only one time you had seen him shining with confidence and easiness, and right now, it seemed as if the usual gloominess that had inhabited him afterwards had… Gone. Had you guessed it right, had football really relieved him? Or was it something else? Either way, you didn't receive nor share his sadness this time as something different was emanating from him.

The more the clock on the wall was reading the seconds passing by, the more your hand was starting to hurt like hell, and the less you could focus on the meeting. You ignored if the explanation of the pain was lingering in the pure fact that the two lines were solicited at the same time, or simply that your body was overreacting under your systematical, uncontrollable desire to have Jooheon for you, and to have him lean on you.

The two pair of eyes of the men bound to you by destiny were focused on your being, unashamedly, inevitably, obviously staring at you and you only, and you were thrilled to read some kind of intensity in Jooheon's pupils each time you came to catch their sight. Mechanically, your thumb had started to slide along your palm in order to soothe the scorching sensation you thought you were the only one to suffer from, until you perceived your ideal's fingers doing exactly the same, with his palm turned to the ceiling for you to see.

You then got captured in a glimpse of time and space where nobody could tell, except for the both of you, that you were letting yourselves getting consumed into the sweet pain and under each other's stares. Suddenly, when Jie shifted in his seat and grasped your attention, his shy smile at you turned the sweet pain into an excruciating one, as if someone was planting a knife into your hand again and again.

It told how much you were torn between your need for your one-sided love to be accepted, and the will you had developed to walk down the possible way out of it.

"And that's about it! Any questions, before we get our claws on the appetizing buffet behind you?" Himchan concluded just before you'd scream out of pain, and as nobody rose a hand, you used the mass movement towards the back of the room as an opportunity to run discretely to the toilets.

The cold water flowing on your palm made you sigh in relief, and you closed your eyes for a moment, but ended up opening them in a haste as the picture of Jooheon staring at you had appeared in the black space veiling your pupils. What was wrong with him? When you had imagined he'd be nothing more than formal with you as three months had passed without him regretting anything, in fact he had almost been scanning you naked with his insisting look at your face. You slowly regained your composure as the pain dispelled, and finally walked out of the restroom, only to be met by one of the guests, a man in his mid-thirties, in the corridor.

"Oh sir? Did you lose yourself?" you asked him as he had been standing with his back against the wall.

He stood up properly with a smug look on his traits that instantly put you in a cagey position as something disturbing was glowing from his body, like a bad feeling, and he took long strides until he was properly facing you.

"Actually no… It might sound weird, but I followed you here because I wanted to have a short private talk with you, Miss Y/L/N" he said with a smile that wasn't warming at all.

"R-really? You must have some points to share? Tell me so I could relay them to my sup-"

"You're really professional, I like you even more…" he acknowledged in a low-tone, and this time, you were definitely embarrassed.

Was he hitting on you, right now? There was nobody in the corridor as the restrooms were quite far from the meeting rooms, and you weren't sure of how this would end as you'd have to turn his eventual confession down.

"I just wanted a bit of privacy, to ask you out for dinner, tomorrow night. Just you and me."

"I'm sorry but I'll have to refuse, sir." you smiled awkwardly with an enchanting tone to chase away the tension building between the both of you. "Thank you for proposing, but-"

"Oh please, you can't refuse, it's my treat! I know a bunch of luxurious restaurants that women adore, you won't regret it!" he insisted, grabbing his phone in the pocket of his costume's vest and presenting it to you. "Here! Why refuse, my pretty lady, hm? That senior is ready to do anything for you."

He looked so arrogant, obviously thinking girls who were young were also dupe and would gladly give themselves to him, but he had been wrong about you. You almost rolled your eyes at his stubborn behavior, as if using his status and pet names – that were out of place – would make you change your mind.

"I'm really sorry, I can't accept your offer, sir. Should we go back to-"

"Why are you refusing?" he suddenly groaned, combing his hair nervously. "Don't you know how good of an opportunity this is for your company? We could be great partners afterwards! You shouldn't be that difficult and just give me a night, huh? C'mon, I told you you wouldn't regret it!"

Your heartbeat was now the one of some kind of fanfare turning hectic, as you felt anger fueling through your veins at his threat, but also the premises of panic because the two of you were alone.

"I don't think us going out on a date tomorrow has anything to do with my career or my company, sir" you tried to answer in the politest of tones before biting your tongue so that insults wouldn't proliferate out of your lips.

"Hey, you little- You should know better than to talk back to your elders and just accept the good deeds they do for you, shouldn't you?"

"I think I have the right to refuse, sir. I'm sorry."

"You're very stubborn as I can see… What a shame, hm?"

The man suddenly grabbed your right arm, freezing you in your heels, his eyes opened wide and his brows furrowed in pent-up frustration as you didn't comply to his far from legitim authority. And just as he had been about to lecture you some more, a hand caught his and firmly removed it from your limb.

"You heard her, right? She refused, you disgusting pervert" Jooheon interfered in a tensed, stern tone as he stepped before you, before his jaw clenched tightly.

The surprise of his sudden appearance and your frozen state quickly faded away as his citrus perfume invaded your space ; and like an enchantment, it lifted the atmosphere up, relaxed your limbs and untied the knot twisting your stomach in fear, making you feel at ease and secure.

"W-What?" the man stuttered, looking impressed by the young man's serious face and his apparent strength as he had squeezed his hand without pity.

"I filmed everything before interfering, and I'll report this to your employer, you can be sure of it. Also, I can make it buzz in a few hours, don't you know who I am? Huh? I can bring you down in a minute" he pursued as he took a step further. "I can't believe you're proudly saying you're a senior when you act like an ignorant pervert. So maybe I, a junior, should teach you how life is. Nothing will ever give you the right to think women should oblige when you say so. You're nobody. No-bo-dy. You don't have any right to tell a woman she's disrespectful when you don't respect her in the first place. Do you get what I'm saying, sir? Or should I make it clearer? You don't have any right to lay your dirty hands on a woman unless she agrees for you to do so, you hear me? You don't have any right to intimidate her or even talk to her to begin with, you scumbag, you filthy dirty scumbag I swear you should be taught to be a man"

Jooheon had approached the businessman a bit more, his right index pointing at his chest but never touching him, his physical presence enough to crush anyone else's self-assurance into dozens of pieces. His unphased expression and threatening behavior impressed you, as well as his sharp tone, mostly because you were their trigger. Something had definitely changed in him. Something that was straightening his back and glowed through every pore of his fair skin, telling you he was now standing with a confidence you hadn't known of.

He looked like a man that finally was comfortable enough in his own shoes, but as you could decipher the invisible flames of fury irradiating all around his body and spotted his left fist tightening, you grabbed his wrist so that he wouldn't take it further. Jooheon turned back to your fingers wrapped around his watch, then to you.

"I won't do anything, only if you forgive him" your ideal then addressed you in a calm tone, before he unblocked your sight of the man for you to kill him with a disgusted stare.

"Don't get that angry, young boy, I-I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry" the latter couldn't talk properly anymore, shame reddening his prominent cheeks.

Jooheon's eyes were gazing at you with a sweetness reminding you of that morning when he had held you close in his kitchen, and you cursed secretly at him for having appeared next to you when you were at your weakest, as his ambiguous behavior made your heart flutter even more. It conveyed the same light of false hopes you had tried to turn a blind eye to, and it was dangerously circling you.

"He's not the one you should apologize to" a familiar voice suddenly cut in the conversation, and Jie appeared from the end of the corridor with a face as strict as Jooheon's. "I witnessed everything as well and looked up for your company's contact information. I won't let this go. This isn't making business, this isn't profitable for your company or hers, this is harassment, and you should be ashamed of it."

Jooheon's brows quirked in surprise as he looked at the plus-one who had put an end to his somehow intimate moment with you, only to be met with the darkest stare he'd ever received in his whole life. Dark, but also… Thankful? Your eyes were going back and forth between the two saviors, as you felt that an electric vibe was circulating from a pair of eyes to another. The pain in your hand burned your flesh all over again as you did so, and the second you winced, Jooheon and Jie's attention focused on you, completely forgetting about the third party who let out a long sigh before hanging his head low, evidently having a hard time swallowing his pride to apologize to you.

"I'm sorry, miss. Forgive me."

"I hope you will stop thinking that your position should make women appreciate you and beg for a night with you. I will stay nice for now because the event is coming soon and we can't replace you in such a short time. But I hope that your attitude doesn't reflect your company's values, I'll ask about it myself. Just know that it would be shameless of you to dare come out in front of me ever again, and if you do so, the video will be out" you managed to warn him even though your voice was trembling due to your need to moan your suffering out. "Let's go back to the room"

You didn't know where your confidence to lecture an older man had come from when he had been pretty intimidating before and you had been quite scared for yourself ; surely Jooheon's and Jie's overpowering auras, like those of two knights in shining armors, had made you feel protected and supported.

"You're coming with me" Jie surprisingly took your hand in his and without further explanations, leaded the walk down the corridor, leaving the pervert behind the both of you ruminating his own frustration and fright to get reported anytime, but also Jooheon whose lips got sealed the second your skins weren't in contact anymore.

His eyes fell down on your hand intertwined in his, an unreadable expression veiling his traits before they went up to your face as you looked back at him while walking away, still flustered by his intervention, and torn to have your hand in another man's.

______

"Where are you taking me? And why hold my hand?" you asked Jie as you followed behind him.

You didn't have the guts to tear your hands apart on your own, the serious look on his face preventing you to do so.

"Where can I find ice?" Jie asked you back as he kept on pacing straight in the hallway.

"Ice? Ah that's right, we forgot to put some on the tables for the drinks! We can go to the rest area, we have a fridge there" you informed him, your heart beating fast. "It's the door on the right, over there…"

Once you had entered the empty room, Jie finally freed your palm to close the door behind the both of you, then he pressed himself towards the fridge. You silently observed him as he put some ice cubes in a towel he had found on the vending machine's handle, before he told you to sit on one of the sofas.

"What? Why?"

"I know your left hand is hurting, you were rubbing it a while ago and I can feel it too, it hurts pretty badly, doesn't it?" he answered in the most natural of ways, and your heart begun the fanfare all over again.

He was so considerate, from the way he had noticed your pain, to how he had also stepped up to a senior only to defend you. For the first time since your encounter, and even though your feelings belonged to someone else, you couldn't deny that it had reached out to you, almost in a romantic way.

"O-Oh… Thank you…"

"I'm sorry I followed you to the toilets, but I was pretty worried about you" he then told you straightforwardly.

It looked like he was having a lots of arrows to shoot at you on this day.

"Actually I went to the toilets to put some water on it, but ice is way better" you sighed in relief as he was massaging your palm with the ballot of ice he had quickly made, and the mixture of the warmth of his hand supporting yours and the cold of the fabric was the most soothing of sensations.

His brows were furrowed as he was concentrating on keeping his gestures delicate, and you took this opportunity to close your eyes briefly. Some pictures of the previous incident flashed through your mind, and you gazed back at Jie to admire his sharp traits that never failed to fascinate you. How come your thoughts were monopolized by Jooheon's face and questions about him, when this man right here was ready to give you what you needed? The law was so unfair to the both of you.

"Thank you, for also coming to my rescue earlier, that man was pretty creepy" you said before biting your lip, as he probably hadn't been able to prevent himself to do so.

"I'm just glad I followed you there, my instincts definitely never betray me" he smiled purely as his eyes finally looked at you, catching you in the act of analyzing every single inch of his skin. "Oh and about tomorrow night… What will you be doing?"

"Tomorrow night? Nothing, I only told him no because I didn't want to go" you chuckled.

"Oh well… I was willing to ask you out on a date anyway, so I might just do it now. Would you mind going out to eat with me instead, tomorrow night?"

His eyes conveyed an intensity that flushed your cheeks and suspended time for a second, in this room only lightened by the few rays of sun penetrating through the small window and enlightening in gold his light strands of hair. You could have sworn your heart had finally given up some beats to this man worthy of everything, but its main rhythm was obviously stimulated by another man that was somewhere behind this door.

The way to a possible happiness without him was paved right before you for your eyes to see, and probably to a new beginning with a decent man ; however, you knew from your past relapse at the sight of Jooheon's picture, and from the way he had overshadowed Jie earlier would it be in the room or in the corridor, that you weren't quite ready to date or love anyone else but him.

"Can I give you my answer later?" you still smiled.

It would be the perfect occasion to be truthful with him and put an end to his false hopes just like Jooheon had done with you, before it would be too late, before he would end up as miserable as you had been for weeks. The temptation to just give in the easy way had been powerful as his care for you was heart-fluttering, but less than your feelings for Jooheon, and you couldn't deceive Jie or yourself anymore.

"Sure, Y/N" he gently nodded before going back to his ministrations without saying another word.

______

Jooheon had witnessed the incident from the very beginning. Indeed, he had seen you step out of the room hurriedly and not too long after, one of the men he had heard talking dirtily about you earlier in the main hall had followed you. Just like Jie, his guts had told him that nothing good would happen out of an eventual encounter, and they had taken his feet through the huge and numerous hallways of the building, the red vest of the pervert always in his sight.

He had then waited quietly at the corner of a crossover, observing the man as he had paced around in front of the women's restroom's door before stationing himself against the wall. Jooheon's heart had been bumping against his ribcage, while his hands had enclosed into tight fists, the tension getting higher in this silent corridor. When you had finally stepped out, he had caught his breath not to miss any single word of your conversation, and had brandished his handphone to record the scene in case you'd need it.

The second the man had dropped his first dirty move on you, Jooheon's anticipation had turned into anger, his veins popping out of his neck, hands and even temples. And right at the moment when he had decided he'd had enough of this disgusting scene playing under his two eyes, he had spotted the blonde man in his brown suit walking down the hallway facing his, approaching the scene. That was when a thought had popped up in his mind fueled with rage : he had promised himself not to be a coward anymore. And that very thought, had urged his body towards yours, as if attracted to you like a magnet, and made him intervene before his twisted brain could tell him to hide like the runaway he was.

Jooheon had rarely seen that red in his whole life, as he had felt on the verge to crush the man down until he had been crawling and begging for your forgiveness, but mostly, the sensation of being strong, important in your eyes had excited him somehow.

Nevertheless, it hadn't lasted long. When the blonde man had finally interrupted him in his rare time of following his heart, when he had looked at him without blinking, Jooheon's confidence had lost to his doubts, again. The sadness lingering in your last text message, the memory of your teary eyes three months ago, the echo of your voice begging him to stop acting as if there was a way for a "you" to happen struck him like a thunderbolt. Maybe this man, would make you happy when he had failed to.

That millisecond of torment had been enough for this very man to be the one taking your hand then your body away from that dirty stranger, without thinking or hesitating, and to leave him as the defeated man he still seemed to be. He thought he had changed, but once more, what had only been left, was the price of his regrets or, like his friend Minhyuk had accurately induced, the price of his feelings he had wrongfully subsided. Right in this corridor, Lee Jooheon had been a bit too late to realize that he liked you too, as his lingering anger had transformed into frustration and jealousy.

Regrets, regrets, regrets. Jooheon was getting tired of this bugging feeling. So tired that he'd do anything to not welcome them anymore. And as his eyes had fallen on his empty left hand, his vivid heart-line scorching his skin couldn't have seemed more meaningful to him.

The key to the end of this long labyrinth he had been wandering in with his eyes closed, hoping to find an issue while avoiding the new experiences in front of him, was in fact residing in one thing : his heart, that had given him the most impulsive, spontaneous of directives in a while, but the most ecstatic of feelings once he had been close to you.

His heart, calling for him to fall off the cliff he had been hanging on for too long, and to finally give in to the euphoria of love, for himself and for you.

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"I'll send them off manager, don't worry!" you exclaimed to Himchan's attention as you walked out of the building and stood a few meters away from the entrance to shake hands with everyone and thank them.

The subtle breeze comforted you after the disturbing episode in the hallway, but it couldn't calm the drum solo your bloody organ was still playing as you knew you'd come to face Jooheon again. You hadn't had the chance to approach him after you had been back to the meeting room, as Jie had stood by your side all the while, his eyes telling you that he had been worried that you'd collapse at any moment, once the pressure had completely fallen down.

Your heels were stamping the pavement as you were thinking of what to say, but also wondering if you could ask the questions Jooheon had the talent to outnumber with additional ones every time you met, leaving them preys to your unending interpretation.

The man of your dreams was the last one to step out, his agent leaving the two of you on the forecourt after bidding politely his goodbyes, and before you could open your mouth to thank him properly for having protected you, Jooheon asked you :

"Are you alright?"

"I guess, thanks to you. Thank you for intervening, really" you said truthfully, and when your eyes dived into his crescent ones, your body vibrated with the familiar yet dangerous tsunami of feelings you had bottled up.

Jooheon shared that same trembling feeling as he, too, had kept many things inside for a long while, and as he was letting them out one after the other, he couldn't fight the smile curling his lips at your sight and answer.

"Good then, I'm glad to hear that" he sighed his thoughts out, before licking his lower lip. "I have a thing to be thankful for you as well."

"Me? What is it?" you questioned him with doubt lacing your voice.

"I've been practicing football again, and I wouldn't have hadn't it been for you. You might not realize it, but I wanted to thank you anyways because it has helped me a lot" he confessed.

His deep and serious tone made you scoff the embarrassment out of your body, before swinging slightly back and forth to vivify your limbs as they could melt under his stare at any moment. You felt nervous to be left alone with that new version of him, his quiet strength overhanging you.

"What does that even mean, I didn't do anything special…" you grumbled. "Anyway, I'm glad to hear that as well."

He chuckled at your reaction, and started counting the seconds passing by, his brain urging itself to find what to say so that you wouldn't part ways already.

"Can I ask you a question?" you unexpectedly spoke up another time, relieving him as you granted him a bit more time.

"Sure, go ahead" Jooheon shrugged, his palms growing sweaty because of the anticipation.

"Why did you take the job? You don't need it anymore, I mean you're back in the club" you interrogated frankly, an apparent unphased look dressing your face.

You had taken acting classes back in school, so you knew how to pretend. When you could sometimes share his emotions or read him like an open book because he was your soulmate, you had decided to take an advantage of this unbalanced situation by displaying a bit of nonchalance and distancing, so that you wouldn't falter before him as easily as in front of his resumé.

"Hmmm…" he hummed as he certainly hadn't expected this question to come out. "Should I be honest or-"

"I can tell if you lie, you know" you reminded him while waving your left hand at him with the red mark shining brightly.

"That's true… Well, let's say that my guts told me to do so" Jooheon managed to mumble while diverting his eyes from your face as it could drive him into betraying his deepest intentions.

Even though he had found pure bliss in acting recklessly earlier, his body moving and his tongue untying without warning, now that there was only the two of you he was hyperaware of his every move, scared to ruin his chance to try putting the pieces of an "us" together, or at least sow its seeds.

"Your guts…?"

You tilted your head, unsure of what it meant. Another swirl of wind flew around you and brought his scent right into your nostrils again, his presence getting more and more overwhelming.

"Yeah, my guts" Jooheon reiterated as his eyes lowered back on you with the same intensity as in the hallway, catching the legs of time that stopped running along with your breath.

He could see that you were drowning under a sea of confusion as his behavior swayed between assertive and careful of being too forward, confusing him all the same as he was hesitating about what to actually do. Hiding his feelings and himself wasn't an option anymore ; but why couldn't all of his fiery honesty just form the right words that would translate what he actually felt about you?

"Fine, see you soon then" you abruptly concluded, upset by his vague answer that was way worse than silence, and you extended your hand to send him off just like you had done with the rest of the group.

Jooheon gladly took it, but he didn't let go after a short shake ; in fact, he pulled at it in a swift move once he had sensed that you were about to question his actions, bringing you pretty close to him.

"You said you could tell when I lied…" the words trailed out of his mouth as he looked down at you with sparkly and squinted eyes. "Well, I kinda lied."

"What do you-"

Your voice suddenly got muted as the orange-haired boy snaked his way around your neck and waist with his arms, lightly squeezing your body into a hug before his head landed on your shoulder, his neck kissing your lips. You gasped, but your hands were unable to push him away, whether it be you giving in to his touch as you loved it just like you loved him, or the law tying them down to your body as it had finally gotten what it existed for : you being close to your soulmate.

"Sorry, that's what my guts told me to do as well" his voice vibrated through his chest against yours and resonated in your headwalls. " I think I missed you, Y/N. I'm too ashamed to say it straight to your face, but my guts… No, my heart is making me crave to do all sort of things today, and for the first time in a while, I know I won't regret it."

At this confession, his fingers dug a bit deeper into the fabric of your blazer. You could feel his heart beating fast against your torso, giving credit to his messy declaration that left you breathless. Your own vital organ was throbbing at the erosion of thoughts buzzing through your mind, from you stealing a kiss from him to smacking his face for being this late ; but the chills on your skin were slowly inducing that you were somehow thrilled to believe that something was actually happening. After all your efforts. After three months. After only a short reunion in the morning.

"I thought of you pretty often, as reconciliating with football was a way for me to stop living like a coward waiting for things to get better without working on it at some point" he acknowledged. "And I thought it was strange that I couldn't move on, so I wanted to see you again to sort things out, and that's the answer I've got… I just couldn't part ways another time without being honest with myself and with you, for once. I just needed you to know, that I missed you."

"Why do you want me to know that" you finally answered in a monotone, your voice muffled by his body against yours, and Jooheon adjusted his arms around your frame so that you could properly speak.

Your breath on the material of his clothes still sprawled ticklish sensations all over his skin like ants going down his limbs, and he almost hissed at the flustering sensation.

"Because I'm tired of thinking about you with regrets filling my mind" he finally straightened himself to gaze properly at you in the eyes, his arms still resting loosely on your body. "I know I told you not to wait for me, I hope you didn't… And I don't know who that man is to you… But I'll have to try my best to listen to this raging dude if I want to be proud of myself one day"

He patted the left part of his chest, releasing your shoulders from his hold, and it immediately felt cold. You had missed him too; your colleagues could testify. And for a long while, you had wished for this moment to happen, him coming back to get you with eyes full of regrets and apologies as he'd have realized that he liked you back and that it was worth the try.

The overwhelming sensations you went through at the listening of his speech suddenly spilled through the edge of your fingers that hurried themselves up his shoulders, to his neck, before they reached his face, and pulled him into a kiss. A long, insistent, needy press of your lips against his ; the only way to put an end to his confusing rent and to your panicked thoughts plaguing your mind.

You had been dying to kiss him since the first time you had met him in the club, and after your last one, just while thinking of him ; now that you were doing it again, it seemed that you'd never get enough of him, never enough to fill in the void he had left up 'til now.

When his lips started moving against yours to kiss you back again and again with the same need, upgrading to another rhythm, Jooheon felt like he was getting dangerously closer and closer to abandoning himself to his euphoria again, so he forced himself to pull back, leaving you with your eyes closed.

"I like you, Y/N" he breathed out. "I like you, but I want to take it easy. I've hurt you."

You finally grasped what had happened, what your body had decided to do on its own, how your bottled feelings for him or maybe the powers of the law had taken over your faculty to think rationally or even control yourself ; and that was when Kihyun's words from three months ago resounded with the most power into your eardrums.

"You know, when you date your ideal, you almost forget how it actually feels to love at first. I swear, the sensations you get almost turn into a drug, something you can never get enough of! You immediately love the person without even knowing him or her, and you're in such a bliss, in such an awe, that you can't even distinguish what your real emotions are anymore. It took me a break with my girlfriend to look back on what I feel, what I love in her, and to miss her but because my heart felt empty, not my entire self."

Burning with your desire for him, craving for his touch when he had barely hugged you, kissing him with a despair you hadn't been able to contain, wishing for it to never stop and only seeing and feeling him ; all the emotions crashing down on your being were too much to handle at once, so much that you got scared of yourself.

All along, you had been sure that you liked – no, loved him, and that the empty feeling you had gone under painfully could be explained by the power of love before the one of the law. However, right now, you couldn't decipher where the origin of your rushed, needy actions and of your emotions lingered : was it really from your heart that pounded in your chest as its fluttering was finally reciprocated? Or from the law that had made you fall for Jooheon in the first place and now stimulated your body to the point that it felt like you weren't mastering it anymore, because it was satisfying its purpose?

You were suddenly terrified of what Jooheon actually made you feel, instead of enjoying the bliss they all had talked about ; when his feelings were genuine as he wasn't tied to you by the law, the intensity of your excitement shone the confusion Kihyun had talked to you about in your blurred spirit. You needed to tame and sort these new emotions out, before you'd get pervasive and lose yourself and him a second time.

"I-I'm sorry" you only managed to stammer as you pushed his hands away from you, before taking a step back, then another one.

"Y/N, wait let's-"

"You needed time, now I need mine" you cut him as you were getting closer and closer to the building. "I was only wishing for this to happen, but… I-I don't know what I'm feeling right now I need to go"

"Wait just stay let's talk it out I have so much to-"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me but I just can't be with you any longer" you finally sobbed your frustration out and without looking at him, your eyes glued to the pavement where you had searched for your sanity in vain, you turned around and disappeared behind the glass doors.

Jooheon clutched a hand at his heart beating way too loud for him to think clearly, the palm of his left one burning after your passionate kiss. And for the second time, he had to watch you walk away without having the chance to hold you back into another moment where the blooming of an "us" was waiting for the both of you to water it at the same time.

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A/N : thank you again for having read it up ‘til now, I’m doing my best to continue writing the ending part through my schedule!