#like. the way they animate them feels so objectifying to me ........

[rae-pss]

masterlist

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . i tried to do something here, i swear. drabble inspired by @etheries1015 's idea. special thanks to my dear @livelaughlovesubs for proofreading and helping me with this one, ily (🥹🫶✨). ˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . lowercase intended, 878 words, angsty themes, reader is sad bc they feel objectified by the demons.

“why...?”

that was the question that lingered in your head the most. stuck in a sea of misery and hardship that only you could freely navigate and easily drown in.

there was no other way to share the pain of your most incessant storms of thoughts, not when no one there present seemed to care about your mental well-being.

of course, they cared about you, or that's what you wanted to conclude from times when they truthfully helped you. from the moment satan decided to take you to hell to bring minhyeok back, through the various moments in which you needed the different essences of demons and humans to survive, to when your life seemed to be in danger and they were there to rescue or save you… it was all certainly nice, feeling loved on those occasions.

however, all those memories only led to the same point, making you feel like nothing was right that morning. has it ever even been?

they could sing to the winds and swear to hell that they appreciated you, they loved you, that you were the most important person to them. yet, why didn't anyone seem to care about you?

firstly, the elephant in the room, you were the only living descendant of the much acclaimed and beloved –plus dead– solomon. a man who seemed to leave such a great mark on both hell and heaven. your ancestry unknowingly condemned you to a life of pain, unbridled lust, and way more.

someone who said that he saw you as his own child, but that he never seemed to be there for you or understand you in the face of your deepest sorrows.

and, then there was what certainly shrank your heart the most, took the air from your lungs, and made you a mere vessel of what you once could be.

“aren’t i worth more than my body? do they just see me as a sex toy? a pretty face and body to own and use as they please?”

you wanted and implored that the answer to all of that was no, that they didn't see you as such. but how could you convince yourself of that if they only seemed to mind about your physical appearance? they were indeed interested in your personality, especially when you showed one of their sins in front of them, and yet no one seemed to know your favorite color, food, music, or animal.

questions that if strangers in the human world had asked you’d have been somewhat uncomfortable. after all, who asks those nowadays?

and, here you were now, wishing that one of the many demons there would take even the slightest curiosity in you to ask such things. 

“was it so difficult to ask about your favorite weather? what is your favorite type of tea? what is your favorite book? what is your favorite dessert?”

“was it so difficult to feel any interest in your damn tastes?”

there was a time when anger resided like a parasite in your hot veins for every time those thoughts plagued your mind. an arduous sensation that made you want to harm those who unconsciously hurt you so much in the same way.

but, that was already something in the past. now you could only completely shut up and look at the ground. anger is replaced by sadness, deep, drowning sadness. long nights in tears and full days in pain. but, no one seemed to notice, and if they did they didn't even ask about it. 

“would it cost that much to care?”

it was a slow realization process. a clear decomposition of your spirits, your feelings, of you as a being. you didn't even know if you really cared about saving this already damned place, or if you even wanted to go home... home. your home...

and so a single tear fell from your eye, one that you didn't think even thought existed in your weakened body.

minhyeok... would he still be waiting for you? would he even be alive once you got back? would he welcome you with a plate of your favorite food? a bouquet? a hug…?

the only one who understood and knew you. how would he react if he saw you like this? he would surely care for you like a mama bear. taking your temperature, cooking and feeding you, telling you how silly yet precious you are, giving you all that love that you crave so much.

a smile, a weak smile on your lips appeared at the memories of your best friend. how much you missed him day after day, longing to return to the home that was his arms. the warmth that only he knew how to bring to everything around him, including you. the thousand and one apologies he deserved from you.

so much, and for nothing, because you were still there among demons until everything was over... and, that was if they later deigned to let you go, something that you were not even sure was possible. 

you doubted that after all that chaos they’d let you leave their side. knowing them, they would even lock you up if that kept you close to them. just a mere creature trapped in the vile clutches of thirsty beasts.

[ladyloveandjustice]

A recent episode of Wonderful Precure was PEAK magical girl saves her kidnapped boyfriend, just the classic storyline so pure and crystalized in a way I haven't seen in a while, so I had to cap it. The magical girl staple of the dashing heroine rescuing the dude in distress.

Poor Satoru, after eating dirt just from being near the fight they're having, is cornered by the nefarious villain. She even kabedons him, wtf, poor kid is scared. Then she snatches him up and keeps him restrained with ONE ARM. The entire time. Like sadly Iroha didn't get to princess carry Satoru but we still got impressive ladies carrying dudes content so I guess it evens out.

Also I love that Iroha has to be like "DON'T OBJECTIFY SATORU HOW DARE YOU" which you often see guys having to say about kidnapped girls.

Also the subs are lying, Satoru says "let me go, please" remaining polite even in the circumstances of being kidnapped (though the form of "please" he uses, "kudasai", is the one for requesting something you're entitled to, as obviously he is entitled to not being kidnapped. It's less hyper formal and polite than how he usually talks, which makes sense for the situation.)

Iroha catching him as he fell and hugging her to him was also genuinely sweet.

(What I'm not happy with that the female villain's only trait is being horny. Like girl, you are the vengeful spirit of an extinct species, please have something else going on)

What does also make this scenario better is Satoru is really such a genuinely sweet kid that I think it's probably the best het romance in Precure history? Like it's cute. I'm rooting for them.

It's really a Good version of how gross the similar Happiness Charge storyline was, rather than the whole Nice Guy "you took him for granted and you're bad for not magically knowing he was in love with you the whole time". Satoru has also been pining after Iroha for a long time but the other girls tell Satoru he has to tell her himself because how can she know if he doesn't say anything? And he admits he's scared because he doesn't want to lose her as a friend if she doesn't feel the same. And when she's visibly nervous seeing him after his confession, he's says "Hey, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, please forget what I said and let's just keep being friends".

(He's not even upset by how she literally ran away after he confesses which tbh I would be pretty hurt by actually, so honestly, way to roll with it)

(Also it's incredible that he was so down bad for her that he learned all this trivia about animals, his main personality trait, just so he could talk to her more.)

So when Iroha realizes she likes him back, there's genuinely no pressure on her to do so. The show makes it clear he was in no way entitled to her liking him back, the only thing Iroha was gently challenged on him by her friends was "hey, I think you need to talk about him about this and let him know you're trying to figure out your answer, you guys always share your feeling with each other, so don't stop doing that now".

See, you can do it right, Precure (I know this is a diferent writer and has no connection). And it probably helps that the only other shipping option I have is Iroha and her literal pet dog, which I refuse to get behind even for yuri purposes.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

it/its pronouns are so beautiful?

[I've seen some well meaning people be like "I don't use it/its pronouns because I don't want to degrade that person or objectify 'them'" but king that's misgendering mate it's the opposite of respecting that person. I used to feel worried when I used those pronouns for people too coz of all the associations with it, I mean I still used it, but I was worried about the objectifying]

BUT for a long while now ive been realising how beautiful those pronouns are.

"it" isn't degrading

My god, look at that human over there. It's so cute! Holy shit it saw me I hope it likes me I want to be friends. It's coming toward me! It smiled at me! I'm so happy.

Look at that person over there. It's very smart and it doesnt like loud noises so it wears headphones all the time to cancel out the noises. It's not very sociable, and thats okay! It'll be happy if I give it a cup of coffee though. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to go up to it and hand it a cappuccino though it's a stranger.

Look at that girl there. It is a girl and it uses it/its pronouns, and it wishes people would respect that. People uses to objectify it all the time for being a girl. Then people would blame it for objectifying itself. But it has now reclaimed its identity, and it knows that it is a human being and it is also an object and idea, in other words, the girl is whatever it wants to be. It is "it" the same way a beautiful storm is just before it hits, a wave is when it crashes into the shore, an animal is when it burrows out of the ground to sniff at the air. And that is how the girl views itself, and it's not a bad thing to change because of things that have happened to it.

See that old man there? It's tired and it would like to see the beach one day before it dies. It took a while for it to understand all these new pronouns, and when it heard of it/its, something clicked and it just knew that it had finally found out its identity after all these decades. It's looking forward to telling its partner in heaven.

pronouns aren't always the same as gender, and they aren't always different. So many different people and identities and stories.

It/its is beautiful.

[room-surprise]

Dungeon Meshi Anime Review, Season 1, Episode 13 review

This episode has one of me and my spouse's favorite jokes in the manga... And yes, the little sign moves with the hams as they roll away.

This was another great episode!

Thistle!!!!!!! He's perfect. Love that he looks accurate to the manga at this point of the series, and wasn't updated to look more cutesy/younger like he looks in the later manga as Kui's art style evolved to give everyone bigger eyes and cuter faces.

His monarchist speech was chilling and just as good as in the manga. This is a man taht 100% believes in feudalism and the divine right of kings and it's as natural as breathing to him. Love him giving this context for readers and viewers. This is WHAT PEOPLE IN THIS ERA BELIEVE...

Love how we can have Marcille spend an entire episode in just her underwear, fighting for her life, covered in blood, and it's not sexualized. Nothing wrong with sexy things, but very refreshing to see a character able to do that and to feel that the camera isn't focused on objectifying her.

Ok, so time for a pretty big complaint... Leed's voice in the English dub.

As I stated in a previous review, BangZoom entertainment, the English dub company, cast a black actor to play Zon. They have made a pattern of casting real life minorities to play the fictional minorities in Dungeon Meshi, which I think is a noble idea and can certainly bring nuance to the performances! Good for them attempting to do this!

However they rewrote Zon's dialog to have him speak what was either African American Vernacular English (AAVE), or "broken English." In the original Japanese, the orcs do not speak this way, their dialog is more or less the same as everyone else's.

I gave the dub studio a benefit of a doubt because they hired a black actor to play Zon, and I expected that Leed would also be played by an actress of color and that they would rewrite her dialog to match Zon's.

They did not do that.

As far as I can tell, Leed's actress is not black, though she has a Hispanic last name... But much more important than the ethnicity of who they cast, BangZoom did not rewrite Leed's dialog the way they rewrote Zon's dialog.

These characters are siblings, there's no reason Zon and the other orcs would speak a different dialect from Leed.

Did they do this because Leed is pale and pink and they thought that she shouldn't talk in AAVE? They should have known that she was coming later and not done that to Zon then, if they weren't going to continue the trend with Leed.

Very weird, not a fan, makes me question the studio's knowledge and understanding of the source material...

[paganminiskirt]

Something upsetting about Bulma’s reaction to Vegeta’s suicide - and it was a suicide, no matter the grandiose aims he assigned to it - is how it reflects the state of their relationship at the time of his death. That sacrifice is meant to be Vegeta’s first moment of real selflessness and maturity, growth which is contrasted by the way Bulma seems to almost regress when she gets word of it: she’s so consumed by her own ugly, undignified grief that she doesn’t react to Chi Chi collapsing about Gohan's death at all, as understandable as it is. In the anime, Bulma shouts “no,” and she shouts his name, but in the manga it’s just a shapeless, agonized wail. Reminds me of Vegeta weeping when he realized he couldn't beat Frieza. Vulnerable. Childlike.

And that comparison could almost make you think that the grief Bulma is expressing is, itself, shallow or childish. King Kai isn't there to explain the depth of her feelings, the way he was when Frieza tortured Vegeta. Bulma was introduced to Dragon Ball as a young girl, and her characterization back then revolved largely around vanity, pettiness and selfishness. When she wasn't acting that way, the story was demonstrating her precociousness and abnormal intelligence - and having adult men casually sexualize her, as if she were a grown woman.

If we've learned anything from the previous arcs, it's that slotting children into adult roles has disastrous, counterintuitive consequences. Gohan is forced to fight Cell at age eleven and almost loses the fight because he gets caught up in his own immature sadism. Vegeta is introduced to us with little to no detail on his face, making him look younger than he is, especially since he's under five feet tall. It's no surprise, when the story shows him slaughtering total strangers and old friends alike like he's ripping the wings off a butterfly. It's no surprise, when the story tells us that the whole time, he was a child soldier and a slave.

So there are themes that could potentially make you read Bulma as having stunted emotional processing skills as an adult. There's also the fact that, when Bulma and Vegeta's relationship first started, it was fulfilling needs for both of them that weren't especially healthy or mature. Bulma was breaking off a romance and potential engagement with Yamcha, which was likely somewhat codependent, considering they'd been together since youth and were each the other's first lover. Vegeta was coming off his aforementioned death-by-torture from a lifelong abuser, and Frieza himself had only just died. With that in mind, who could forget Puar and Yamcha gawping at Bulma as she gives Vegeta an order and he obeys her, trailing behind her like a pet, pouting, but doing it anyways. What’s the line in the original Japanese version? “Vegeta is completely under her control?”

So it didn’t start off particularly healthy. Bulma is feeling wounded and vulnerable, she wants some reassurance and to make Yamcha jealous. Vegeta wants reassurance as well, and underneath that, to be told what to do. The offset of their relationship has Vegeta using Bulma to soothe the part of him that still needed to be apart of that structure, that control, that obedience. He objectified himself to her, even if she didn’t know it.

But Bulma’s reaction to his second death rejects that reading of their relationship entirely. Rejects the idea that Vegeta’s self-destruction could ever be a positive thing, even though he was doing it in defense of her, this act of willingly placing his own needs behind someone else’s which a more self-centered personality would’ve gobbled up. Did gobble up. Vegeta’s fought for the sake of other people before! He fought for Frieza! It’s just that those acts of violence were exclusively destructive and exploitative, never defensive, and no matter the attitude Vegeta adopted while doing it, he wasn’t allowed to say no.

Like, I’m sure Goku told her that Vegeta did what he did out of love and altruism, but it doesn’t help. Because Bulma doesn’t want to hear that Vegeta loved her enough to kill himself. She just wants him to be alive.

[stillfrownyclownlol]

EDIT: This is about Aiden and how he's portrayed in the canvas version of the story! I don't think he shows symptoms of ASPD in the Original Version (he reads as having BPD or *maybe* BP to me, but this post isn't about that)

Quick thing

-Overall behavior

-Objectifying Ash, ignoring her boundaries. ignoring Logan's boundaries by giving him the gun.

-Shooting down everybody's suggestions except for Ash. Seeing people as "annoying" for "solving his puzzles" (Ashlyn). Like he's above them in this way? He treats other people like playthings to entertain himself (thus the "puzzle" metaphor)

-let's be real canvas Aiden has been arrested before

-Threatening the student for taking his pencil, generally more violent with the phantoms (enjoying it) than the rest of the group

-Based on how he treats the student I would say it's common for him (he has a reputation at school) and it looks like it doesn't bother him. He also doesn't feel bad about basically blackmailing Ash.

-Grabbing at the lever without any regard for what would happen (he was definitely gonna pull it even if Ash didn't bump into him). Blasting music while driving his car even though it could attract phantoms. Driving recklessly with other people in the car.

-in canvas they are 16/17 so he couldn't be diagnosed, but assuming they've been in high school together for a while he's been like this since at least 14

-aggression towards people...yeah. you could "include" animals in the "phantoms", I guess

-he broke her window, but I'll excuse it for the situation they were in- he could still just knock tho?? Like why is that his first idea-

-Was dishonest about why he was following Ash around (and just revealed it since he felt like he could benefit from it)

I guess I could get more into it but I need to study lol

[rmorde]

Trigun Manga Reaction

Now, back to Volume 1 Chapter 9!

Insurance Ladies know they are going above and beyond what is normal here. But, they still continue as consummate professionals.

THIS IS SO ADORABLE!!! SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUUUTEE!

I like the tiny little details that hints something about the characters too.

The most obvious things are Milly's childish expression (playful) and Vash's one leg raised on the seat position (gremlin). However, "no nonsense" Meryl's feet are placed inside the table's rings! You'd expect her to put them by the side of the table but nooooo!!! They need to be IN the ring (she's not above them all!). LMAO.

Tbh... I think the Kaite & Vash relationship feels more fleshed out here in the manga than the anime. I guess it's because of the Rem conversation. It added more weight to their interactions.

Also, they're adorable! Kaite is one sharp kid calling out Vash's bullshit. Vash, like a dog with a bone, keeps deflecting.

Oh wow. This is a huge difference from '98. Kaite was totally alone when he approached the crew.

And this is just as painful and hard to see because, you can absolutely understand the crew's reaction and feelings. What Kaite did was wrong. At the same time tho, he is just a kid who didn't know better. Taking out their grief and fury on him is not right.

Gosh... It makes me think of Little Vash and The Great Fall.

I wonder what exactly went through Vash's head here. In my perspective, Kaite is reflecting Vash unknowingly in this scene. But it's so painful because he's just a kid. He should never have been put in this position. He is too young to be on this path for atonement and redemption! It's just wrong.

Hmmm. Another big difference. Interesting. The Plant was never mentioned in '98 at all.

So, Tristamp followed this manga arc more closely. Some elements are remixed such as Wolfwood replacing Kaite, the Gung-ho Guns substituting BDN as a threat, and the race is avoiding destroying a town instead of avoiding falling off a cliff. All beats are the same tho.

HOWEVER!

I think '98 has a more logical timeline personally because they are in a hurry to stop the ship right? It's a critical moment. If you think about it, there should not have been enough time for Vash to regroup with Kaite after the duel. So, '98 having these two events happen simultaneously is actually good.

Another benefit is Kaite's offer to help feels much more genuine when he was alone and away from Vash in '98. It really sells the idea that this is entirely his own decision despite the risks of retribution.

Of course, Vash didn't influence him in the manga too but by visually having him there with Kaite, it kinda undersells it imo.

Oi. Vash. That's no way to talk about your sister!

While I do appreciate the changes on the Plant design in Tristamp, I really like the '98/Manga more. They're both excellent designs for Sci-Fi but I just really like the 90's flavor of magical Angel Power Plant... which appeases my thing for magitek.

Tristamp tho is a modern flavor of alien Faerie Power Plant - not bad but not my cup of tea. However, the glowing lines feature is wonderful! It reinforces the idea of them being power plants because they have "circuits" in the body. Restraining myself from saying Magic Circuits!

Oh... This is a really fascinating set of panels that I think both '98 and Tristamp haven't adapted well.

'98 kinda skipped this. However in Tristamp, the emphasis on Plants is very clinical. Not sure if that is the best way to describe it, but, in the plants feels so much more objectified in Tristamp. I guess the horror element about the human-plant relationship is further emphasized there.

It's contrasting the manga which seems to be more focused on the awe-inspiring side of it like in the scene above. The scientist waxes poetic and is practically making a religion out of the whole thing.

I guess, to put it simply, the manga effectively shows how humans see Plants worthy of worship. Meanwhile, Tristamp displays how humans see Plants as just a life-essential battery.

So beautiful... Oh...

What if the re-design happened because animating expressive individual feathers would be a pain for Orange staff? GASP! Is that why everyone's hair were cut short?! Because hair is tedious to animate. OMFG... IS THIS WHY MILLY WAS CUT OUT IN SEASON 1 since she really really long luscious locks?!

I kid. I kid. 🤣

Oh. That's really clever remixing by Studio Madhouse. So '98 Miss Purple Avenger Episode is like a "Prototype" of this manga arc. This is where Vash having to prevent an explosion of a Plant came from.

Okay. Another great difference... I've been saying that a lot in this chapter. Sorry.

In '98, Vash dealt with this alone and the only witness was terrified. It focused more on the mystery.

However, here in the manga, Vash is not alone. Humans must work with him to save the Plant and everyone. He can only buy time but it's up to them to stop the whole thing. It's a really nice display of Vash's hopes and beliefs regarding human-plant relations. ----> BTW, the art in this page is really pretty and interesting! (1) The almost "gradient" like transition of Vash's coat to the bulb is so creative. (2) The drawing of the Plant resembling a blooming flower: feathers as ray florets, the plant/sister as the disk floret, and the wires as receptacle/stem.

These pages are so gorgeous and the way the slowing down of the heartbeat was shown through the interspersed tiny panels is just really good.

ROFL. The human instinct of "I don't know what's going on but it's helping so I won't pry anymore and I'll just roll with it!". Love to see it!

I think this arc is so good because it justifies Vash's often criticized brand of hope - his endless patience at giving humans chances to bridge the gap between their species.

Humans can work together and save themselves with just a little push. They won't rely on exploitation forever.

People can realize when they are wrong. They can atone and redeem themselves. They do not stay cruel and ignorant forever. They are capable of change. ----> Also, this art is so perfectly adapted in '98. This page, actually, all the pages relating to this collective effort of humans to save the ships (with a bit of an assist from Vash) is so heartwarming to read. ----> Oh... Kudos again to '98 because since they relegated the 'Vash prevents a Plant explosion' to an earlier episode, the episode covering this particular plot had him out of commission. So, the stakes have become higher. Humans must set aside their differences and work together to save each other and Vash too.

And finally, humans are more than what they seem. They are complicated. What could be an enemy at first could turn out to be an ally that can save you later.

This entire conclusion to the conflict is just good and very... Vash. This is what he wants for Knives to see and understand about humans.

I think '98 really did well in adapting the essence of this arc. Tristamp is complicated because now, on hindsight as I read the manga, the episodes are basically hard-carrying and working overtime telling multiple plot lines at once!

Let's see... in Tristamp's version of this arc:

Wolfwood was working double time in the narrative as "Kaite" and one half of the "Good/Hope of Humanity". Not to mention he has his own conflict going on too.

Meryl was the second half of the "Good/Hope of Humanity" that works with Vash (Plant) in saving people.

Unfortunately, with BDN being replaced by the Gung-ho Guns, there is nothing that echoes the "Hidden Depths Enemy Turned Ally"... character...No way... OMFG! WOLFWOOD WAS SUBSTITUTING FOR THAT ROLE TOO IN THIS ARC!!! Poor Woofwoof!

Roberto is a unique addition since he is a Tristamp OG, but I think he represents well the approach taken by Orange with Trigun. He is like the "Flaws/Indifference of Humanity". He is good but experience had turned him into someone that's jaded and refuses to rock the boat (unlike Meryl). His age and 100% ordinary human status prevents him from surviving long enough to change his disposition too (unlike Wolfwood). It's pretty in line with Orange's more emphasis on the "darker" aspects of the story.

WHA-?!!!

Eh? Eh? EHHH?!!

WHY WAS THIS CHANGED IN '98?!!! THIS IS ADORABLE AND COOL!!! AHHHH!!!! NOOOO!!!!

But... then there won't be Meryl and Milly supporting injured Vash. NOOOO!!! Augh. AND THERE WON'T BE TRISTAMP VERSION OF THIS! AHHHH!!!!

Oh. So, the singing is in the manga too. That's a surprise. I thought it was a '98 original scene.

Awwww. ಥ_ಥ

[dukeofankh]

I ran across Ann Cahill when Julia Serano mentioned her in "Sexed Up", and the concept of Derivatization was honestly fascinating to me. I think Kant was a fucking loser and basing a feminist sexual ethic off of his work was probably one of the biggest mistakes feminism could have made. Like, he literally felt that any and all sex was de facto unethical. Why would you use that as a starting point. Jesus. (Both a swear and an explanation for why Kant was such a dipshit)

And like, Overcoming Objectification has a lot of really interesting ideas, but it's fascinating to see someone like...intentionally avoid developing them to their full explanatory potential? In essence, Cahill is anti-sex work. She thinks objectification is a shitty tool to attack sex work with, because she feels that the distinction between mind and body is artificial and fake. Everyone is a body who thinks, not a mind piloting a meat suit, and acting as though porn is bad because it values the meat suit over the disembodied soul who's the real you saddles your argument with the philosophical equivalent of a big glowing Zelda boss weak point. It also means that any time that someone is...you know, physically attracted to anyone else, then they're treating them like an animal or an object instead of what they should be treated like, which is a chaste 18th century disembodied mind.

And Cahill likes physical attraction! She likes sex! She doesn't want to give up her own sex life just so that she can tell other people what to do with theirs! But she does still want to tell other people what to do with theirs. And so she comes up with Derivatization.

And it's honestly a pretty solid concept. Like, in essence it's the idea that what's unethical and dehumanizing about situations we'd normally call "objectifying" isn't that you're being treated like a soulless sex doll, it's that you're being treated as derivative of someone else's fantasy as opposed to a separate, unique person. Like, she points out that in plenty of situations, people who are being "objectified" are expected to express quite a bit of agency, actually. She uses the example of a pornstar being expected to exclaim just how much she's enjoying what's going on, or a dominatrix having to fulfil a very specific fantasy for a male sub that is all, in his fantasy, an extension of her desires, even her absolute power over him, despite the fact that the specificity of his fantasy doesn't really actually leave her any actual choices of her own to make. Serano uses this concept to talk about the difference between attraction and fetishization, a use of it that is very solid, and frankly, her using the concept in a better way than Cahill does.

Because like, the thing about this is that Cahill doesn't actually want to work through the implications of this. Her chapter discussing whether men can be derivatized short-circuits hard, forgetting her own insight that someone can be derivatized for their agency, and uses the subjectivity running through most portrayals of masculine sexuality as evidence that derivatization can't be happening. She also seems to think that groups of women discussing and building a shared sense of ideal masculine sexuality is a fundamental impossibility in a patriarchal society, meaning that derivatization is kind of inherently and eternally one-sided. The book was written in 2011, so booktok wasn't a thing yet, but AO3 sure the fuck was so she's just straightforwardly not correct, even at publishing.

And like...it doesn't even do the thing it was supposed to do. It doesn't make a solid argument against sex work. Like, she basically just says, "Well, ethical sex involves both parties encountering an Other and adjusting to their uniqueness, and in porn, it's women just doing whatever men think is hot. AND THAT'S THE ONLY WAY IT CAN HAPPEN." Putting aside whether that's true--which it isn't--she's clearly aware that casual sex for fun and a job for money are different. So she comes up with these truly baffling metaphors.

She basically says that obviously, if she hires a lawyer to write a will for her, it's not happening because one person's whole self is based on just giving people money for legal documents and the other person's self only and exclusively enjoys writing legal documents for money. The fact that she's reductively engaging with the lawyer exclusively to fulfil her specific fantasy--of having a will that makes sense--isn't unethical...because the lawyer has skills that she doesn't have. She has money, the lawyer has expertise, so it's an interaction of equals! So in her mind, if there was a kind of sex work where the person was like "well, I'm horny but I don't know why or what I would do about it, I'll go and see a sex worker because they're the experts and I'll grow as a human being because of it." then it'd be fine.

Which, sure, that sounds like a fun little concept, if it wasn't the sole example of ethical sex work you were willing to accept. Then it sounds like a pretty impassibly high barrier, on purpose. And it's a ridiculous double standard, because that is not, actually, the only form of business transaction we consider ethical in our current society. If I had a lawn and I hired someone to mow it for me, I would not need to be sitting there staring at my overgrown lawn, flummoxed and frustrated, before calling the local lawn care experts, if I wanted the transaction to be ethical. Maybe I'm just fucking busy. Maybe I have too much money and also too much lawn. If I pay someone a fair wage to do something for me, and we both think "nice, good deal." Then hey. Ethics. Found 'em.

Like, I could rant about this book for hours, honestly, but this is already a staggeringly long post. And I do wanna say, I will still use derivatization as a term, I think it's got legs. Especially with the lens used by Serano, a much less sex-negative feminist. Like I've said before, everyone usually has a little bit of a point. Even if it's a good point made as part of a larger, pretty bad argument against something I think is fine.

[epickiya722]

Haha right? It's so normalized while it's actually so inappropriate to go to a stranger and talk about their sexual preferences.

I hate how "x fans" is called "x fuckers" now. Yeah I like Sukuna. No I don't want to fuck him. But all there is in his tags.

I'd go as far as to say that people don't care about characters. They just want to put them into tropes box to imagine them as their vampire/alpha male/ceo lover.

And I find it ironic how the same will trash talk about fanboys while they do the exact same thing. '"let women be horny" they will say, because reducing a story to you being horny is ok.

I still want to publish my stories because some fandom gave me hope. But I don't hold my breath anymore.

It is very inappropriate. Like, damn, I can't just like the character? I can't be entertained by their antics?

There are just so many things that shouldn't be normalized across fandoms and going into someone's inbox to be like "*insert character* fucker" is one.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind people having their fantasies about their faves, let alone am I gonna police anybody on or care to. Waste of my time, I got fics to write! Posts to post! 😭

But sometimes I do think "does this person actually care about the character's story"?

Because some of those same people will have so many takes on their faves that don't even be that character. That is a whole OC you created!!

I actually wasn't aware of this until only recently that people accepted for Sukuna to become some absolute horndog when Yorozu was up all over him. Maybe I missed something, but Sukuna only ever expressed being interested in fighting and killing people and personally, he never really came across as some sexual deviant to me.

I feel like sometimes if you have this fanon version of your fave, that is not your favorite. In no way, should you feel the need to like this whole other version of your "fave" in order to like him. Then why have them as your favorite in the first place?

I like Sukuna because he entertains me. He's this evil ass menace who wants all the smoke and the biggest beef he has is with a 15 year old (who is my all time favorite of JJK). Sukuna also this mysterious air about him because we still don't know much about his backstory, let alone everything he can do. (I had this recent thought about a technique that I should probably get to writing.) I have theories about his character, like how he may really be as a person, true. But at the same time, I'm not gonna believe my theories about him are canon because "I know him better than Gege". Anything I say isn't canon unless said so explicitly. I didn't create Sukuna. I am just another fan just vibing along with the story.

And it really is insane to me that people will do that. People were saying "female fans of JJK are ruining the fandom, they're all so horny" as if all us are horny, let alone engage in the anime for said reasons.

The same people *cough cough* misogynists *cough* who say that be the same people who will have a wallpaper of someone like Nami as their header and she'll have boobs bigger than what she has in canon.

Oooh, y'all don't like folks be objectifying the JJK men, huh? Even though for years female characters have gotten the treatment in Shonen. You cannot be dragging Gojo fans when you want to be Makima's dog. Stop that now.

Also, its not just the men! Uh, Yuki Tsukumo exists! She has a lot of fans who find her attractive. There's Shoko, Utahime, Takako, Mei Mei...

I'm waiting for the day 143 gets animated because I just know people are gonna go 👀.

Like, either way, if you're a person who gets constantly horny over your faves, why are you upset with someone doing the same?

I saw this meme post about how people tend to overlook the story and its details and only focus on the attractive cast and fights. And some people were like "but people are only focusing on the fights and attractive cast".

No, they're not. You're missing the point.

For one, you can find the characters attractive and enjoy the fights. That is fine. But at the same time, don't miss the story. Pay attention to it because it's just as important, if not more.

Second, not everyone is focused on just the fights and cast. If that was the cast, why do we have theories and meta posts? Why do we have people writing fics that study the character they're writing about? If no one is focusing on the story and only like the fights and attractiveness of the characters, then those kind of posts from fans wouldn't exist.

[melonteee]

When I watched most of your one piece videos and before I ever saw your real face I thought you'd be someone around your 30s or 40s. 😁

One reason was your voice and accent. I'm not that familiar with Australian accents except for OzzyMan (I'm ESL).

Another reason was your One Piece Women video. The way you talked about fanservice and women's body types was, not gonna lie, not sth young people in these times say that often because they've been infested by radfems and their rhetoric and espouse them constantly.

I saw the beginning of a video essay recently where the YouTuber straight up said that female characters who have been "sexualized" whatever definition he used there, don't count as good female characters at all and in any sense.

In other words, a female character who in some way shape or form appeals to men in a sexual way doesn't have any worth as a female character. Popular radical feminism on the internet.

When you started talking about the OP women without going into that direction I breathed a sigh of relief. You said that sexy character design for the women wasn't a big deal but that the lack of variety wasn't good.

And that was, at least where I was, the mainstream talking point in the early 10's about anime/cartoon characters. So, yeah, I thought you'd be older. 💕

Haha no I'm afraid I'm in my youthful mid 20s! That radfem rabbit hole was one I remember being in when I was 13-18 on Tumblr, but I avoid that kinda stuff like the plague now because radfem beliefs tend to be a dog whistle for terfs. And I'm saying this because if anyone reading this falls prey to the whole "women are biologically superior to men" rhetoric, I really need you to be careful, as that can and will nosedive into terf territory.

As for the sexualisation stuff, the whole "characters who have been "'sexualized" don't count as good female characters at all and in any sense" is ridiculous, because no matter what kind of female character you make, they will be sexualised in some way shape or form by men who find them attractive.

BUT honestly the biggest thing for me is like, this demonisation of sexuality and sexyness? Because, as a gay woman, I am also sexualising characters like Nami. Just because I'm not a man doesn't mean it's automatically redundant that I also find Nami extremely sexy and stare at her tits waiting for them to bounce. There's literally nothing wrong with Oda enjoying women, or enjoying tits or ass, he is allowed to make a female character that embodies his desires. But, as you said here, and as I said in my video, the problem is he's doing that with EVERY woman. I personally don't have any grudges for how Oda draws Nami and Robin, I just truly wish it wasn't every damn woman in One Piece lmao.

Honestly I'm in such a weird place with it because, again, I like women. I like looking at tits and I like looking at women. My unpopular opinion is I also find Nami's design very sexy and very pleasing because...I like tits too LMAO and I always feel like us gay women are forgotten about in the conversation of One Piece girls and their bodies. I'm not going to pretend I HATE the girl designs in One Piece because I really don't, but of course there is a difference when a man does it compared to when a woman does it.

My view on it will always be...the issue isn't men looking at fictional women in any kind of sexual way, it's that WOMEN are demonised when they do the same thing back for fictional men. If women draw fictional men being sexy, being objectified (although you can't objectify a fictional character really but you get what I mean), they seem to be swarmed by men who find that gross and detestable. But when men do the same thing back to fictional women... it's fine and natural?? So pointing at the one piece girls, saying it's too sexual and demonising it, is counter productive in my opinion.

As an individual, you are allowed to be uncomfortable with it, you are allowed to wish they looked different, but I don't think anyone has any right to say they SHOULDN'T look like that. Because that creates this air of "Well we can't put our own desires in fictional characters full stop!" and then this weird guilt is felt amongst all parties.

Equality to me is not taking away the bikini armour from a female character, it's allowing both the male AND female characters to be able to wear that bikini armour. Everyone is allowed to have their sexual desires and sexual preferences in fictional characters.

I love Nami, I love her big boobies, I JUST wish Zoro's tits bounced as much as hers did. That is all!

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2024 Anime Overview: Girls Band Cry and Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night

Girls Band Cry

GBC was definitely my favorite new show of the season…and, for some reason, it wasn’t picked up for streaming. It’s one of the many Girl Band Stories that came out this season, but it was the best one. The characters were messy in a way I loved, especially the main character Nina, who’s a complete disaster, angry and loud and sometimes annoying, but so completely real to my experience as a teenage girl who was bullied.

Nina was bullied badly in school, and she’s a high school dropout as a result. Her favorite band helped her get through everything and stand her ground, “saved” her when she was on the verge of giving up on life completely. So when she sees that her fave singer Momoka ended up leaving her band Diamond Dust after the band went in a more commercial direction, the two of them decide to start their own band. Nina is ready to get back at all the people who looked down at them, but Momoka has more complicated feelings about her former bandmates.

Nina being powered by spite—and the series valuing that stubbornness and anger—is what made the series stand out for me, especially because the series just let her be extremely obnoxious sometimes without worrying about her “likeability”,--it made her feel ‘real’ and kind of refreshing. This is a series that starts out with girls going around flipping off people multiple times. The dynamic of the whole band, despite them constantly butting heads, is entertaining. All the characters have rough edges and broken pieces, but they end up fitting together.

The dialogue is fun, the music rocks, the CGI animation is actually super good and expressive. The fact the girls they chose are new to voice acting actually led to some offbeat performances I really liked—the fact it wasn’t as polished as other voice acting fit the characters and honestly made them feel a little more authentic.

The pacing does drag a tiny in the middle, but the climax is explosive and exhilarating. It’s also kind of gay, but in the form of a love confession that’s never really followed up on, (probably so they can have wiggle room to be like ‘how ambiguous was it platonic or romantic maybe she meant she loves ~her music~’) so I don’t count that. But at least it’s the confession isn't completely forgotten about in favor of putting the girls with "appropriate" male love interests (coughs in Sound Euphonium) because the only man on the show of any significance is Nina’s father.

Wholeheartedly recommend the show though, I love these charming disaster girls playing rock songs that slap, finding socially acceptable ways to flip people off, and kicking doors so hard they break them.

Jellyfish Can’t Swim in the Night

Speaking of gay girl band stuff where romantic tension is never followed up on! I binged Jellyfish while I was sick so I guess it counts for this review. It wasn’t nearly as strong as Girls Band Cry but it had stuff going for it!

The premise of this girl band show is that Kano, a former idol who left her career behind after a scandal where she punched another member of her group, runs into Mahiru, a former artist who stopped drawing after a disheartening experience with a jellyfish mural she created. But it turns out Kano loved that mural, and she wants Mahiru to be official artist for her anonymous internet musician persona, JELEE. JELEE picks up other members along the way, including hikikomori VTuber Kiui/Nox Ryugasaki and fangirl pianist Kimura.

Jellyfish had a lot going for it. It wanted to explore the competitive idol industry ruining girls’ lives, abusive parents pressuring their children into becoming extensions of themselves, the budding romance between Kano and Mahiru, the struggle of being trans in a society that forces one into a rigid role and objectifies those it perceives as women, and struggles of remaining creative when often faced with negative feedback.

And uh.... It pretty much fumbled everything but the last two. Granted, it's a soft fumble. A gentle fumble. I can't be too mad about it.

Let's start with the plotline I think it nailed though: Kiui/Ryugasaki (they seem to still use their original name even at the end but also use another name, so that’s what I’m going with) is great, and pretty much the main reason I’d recommend the show.

They’re as blatantly nonbinary as can be without actually saying the word (genderfluid or bigender is also a possibility. But very blatantly trans, either way). They’re also very fun with their over-the-top superhero fantasies. And the storyline where they use their VTuber persona to be comfortable with themself and present themself in the way they want is super compelling and interesting. There are a lot of really moving moments with them, including them shutting down some transphobic bullies (and I mean blantantly transphobic). And we get to see one of their friends enthusiastically support them.

On the other end of the spectrum, the idol and abusive parents subplots were pretty badly handled—we had the usual plot where said parent doing one act of kindness redeems them and things never have to get messy, and the idol plot seemed like it was going somewhere in critiquing how the industry fosters competitiveness and comes down way too hard on its idols for minor misdemeanors or things that shouldn’t be an issue at all, like dating. But then it just kind of ended with a “well internet harassment and destroying lives is bad, but like, we’re all troubled, aren’t we. don't we all vent sometimes." (???)

The plot between Kano and Mahiru…basically there was cheek kissing, blushing, very blatant flirting...and then a big nothingburger of a finale. But hey, Kano does have a gay pride and trans pride patches on her bag, so there’s that.

There's also one absolutely bizarre moment I have to warn about. In one of the episodes the girls run into an adult woman who's had a lot of plastic surgery done. Said adult woman invites the girls to touch her naked boobs (on the pretense of showing them was augmented boobs feel like? Or something?). And they do. As a group. As the woman thinks "they're high school girls, I hope this isn't illegal." IT IS, LADY. VERY ILLEGAL.

It's so out of nowhere that I originally forgot about it writing this, like my brain blacked it out. And then we (thankfully) never see this woman again outside a two second cameo in the finale. Unclear why any of this needed to happen.

So yes, this is basically the Jellyfish experience. The writing of the show was often uneven, it could be really good one second, and rushed and forced the next second. And there are a couple of absolutely baffling moments,

But I'd say on the whole the show is a positive, mostly thanks to Kiui/ Ryugasaki. When it hits, it REALLY hits and the characters are all very loveable. So I give it a reccomendation with a few warnings attached!

[glass--beach]

my personal idea of how this album works as a metaphor is keyed on the idea of discovering oneself as transgendered increasingly in time. it's probably keyed through my own experience but all art is, basically. so,

starting with coelacanth, a song named after a creature widely known as a living fossil, ie focusing on the notion of an old animal. a dying animal. the song feels lethargic throughout and mellow. "the ghost rots away through the embrace of its own gaze" something already dead rots further, further, by the way of its self perception. coelacanth is about the body as a condemning routine.

motions is about the machine-like experience of trying to feel better and find direction while stuck in the prism of other people's gaze. "motions", as in trying to move, but without a particular direction.

slip under the door is about seeking escape. i know this feeling much too well... it's pure rage and anger at realizing of not being afforded any bodily autonomy.

guitar song is about writing about these things. struggling to delineate one's experiences while feeling a burning need to express them nonetheless.

rare animal is the key to the whole album posed as a question. it's at once self acceptance, seeing oneself as a rare beast, the idea of the romantic relationship here is just a metaphor about one's relationship with gender: the song asks, is it really ok to be so attached to something that gives you nothing but a meandering sense of emptiness? DB cooper's case here is being used as a way to talk about a "previous self" disappearing. it's trying to use the image of transness as deviant to the purpose of being admonishing, something dangerous and that the wider public is unable to understand, and then trying to answer to that by saying "ok. and? i know what happened to DB cooper. he got away with the ransom." which is to say that it's underlining that the presupposed 'deviancy' is fine. not being understood by everyone is fine; you can be a rare animal if you want to be.

cul-de-sac is self-reflection; it's about interpreting one's past and trying to understand why it took so long to figure out what was figured out in rare animal. and it turns out: it's the culture of normativity that the cul-de-sac, as the idyllic american suburb ideal represents as a whole. it's a symbol of the Nuclear Family. it's also interesting to not that a cul-de-sac is topographically a dead end. it doesn't change. it does not move.

whalefall is probably the one i'm less sure about how to fit in this whole interpretation of the album... but i feel like it's specifically about, in this key about the album as a whole Transgender Metaphor, a song about being denied the resources one might need for transitioning.

puppy is about the frustration of having to negotiate your existence through the terms of other people's sense of normalcy. you have to be a puppy to be accepted; you have to stay between the bars and service the people who almost mockingly and most definitely cruelly get to decide whereas your existence is ok or not.

the killer functions as a counterpart to puppy, where the killer is specifically about what happens when you don't comply by the rules of normalcy, and are treated like an animal to be hunted. so in a way it's specifically about the idea of how society operates on this fucked up notion of policing as a necessary corrective element within it.

the CIA then is about the way us trans people have to deal with our intimacy and privacy is seen as non-existent for the sake of someone's "innocent" curiosity and desire to objectify an entire person.

200 follows the CIA but on a positive note. it's about finding comfort and privacy through someone else, be it a specific individual or through community. 'autocannibal' i think might be a reference to conflicted feelings regarding finding a venue for sexuality that involves self-acceptance of one's body or somesuch? like it reminds me when i was really early on in my own journey as a trans person i was afraid of finding other people with my kind of body attractive and of being a chaser as a trans person.

commatose is what made me realize about this whole key of understanding the album. commatose is a play on comatose and comma as a feeling of lethargy and separation, but i think specifically the sense of separation is something deeply desired. the perspective the song has is specifically about feeling lethargic and needing something new: desiring a plastic death. plastic death is underlined as being specifically about plasticity, the ability for something to change and adapt, and death. which to me says that this album was about one thing: death as a means to change. the caterpillar dies, the butterfly lives.

abyss angel is about coming out. it's about being treated with supposed sympathy and empathy by someone who also makes no effort to actually understand you. it's also about understanding how it might be strange to see someone change so radically, and knowing that it doesn't excuse being mistreated because of it. it's also about finding repose in the abyss, being ok with changing, being something different from what you were before.

ok that was much longer than i expected. i hope it's not too weird seeing this huge ask in your inbox! i'm just sort of sending this as a kind of message in a bottle to show you my interpretation of your text. regardless of whether it's correct or not (i don't think such a thing exists in art) i hope you get something about reading this, whatever it is. thank you for making this album!

wow this is a really cool interpretation! i agree there is not a “correct” one and it’s been very interesting to see what others gather from it. i actually used to love to try to create narratives out of albums - i have a theory now that many well sequenced albums unintentionally recreate the monomyth & ours is intentionally the monomyth… this is what james joyce does to the brain… i think that this sort of idea of a journey into the unknown (in this case, an internal rather than external unknown) followed the reconciliation of two worlds does speak to a kind of transgender experience. “abyss angel” is this reconciliation of two contradictory realities, an expression of love & hate at once “i want to hurt you so bad” - i think that that does speak to the feeling of coming out. at least in my experience. i love what you’ve found in the music here and while it does speak much to what we had intended i love how the narrative being conveyed can vary to much person to person but everybody seems to get the emotional story the same. thank you for letting me be weird and pretentious about this.

[yukisohmasmokesweed]

hii as someone w selective mutism, and after seeing your post regarding yuki being mute, i’ve had this question that wouldn’t leave my head: were kisa and yuki actually selectively mute or was it due to traumatic mutism or something else? maybe i’m just self-projecting, but despite us being mute for different reasons (it is possible to have SM from trauma, though it is rare), i always saw myself in both of them when it came to their muteness (i’m really sad yuki being mute was only touched on in kisa’s ep and then never brought up again) so their characters mean a lot to me. just thought I’d bring this up and ask since there isn’t any discussion surrounding this and from the posts that i’ve seen on here, people just seem to go w kisa having SM (and by extension yuki) and just say that it’s canon. being the projector that i am, i also assumed it was but still never thought it was “accurate” rep but then again, does it have to be? regardless of how it’s shown in the anime/manga, i think we’re all entitled to our own opinions on this, and that no matter what we think caused their mutism, all opinions r valid! i’m just so curious on what your take on this is since no one mentions anything like this in specific.

hello! funny you send me this ask today because i just rewatched the first ep of the reboot last night for the first time in a looooong time and have been thinking about fb all morning! as far as i understand it, selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that can definitely be triggered by trauma, and that is how i read yuki and kisa. i'm sure you have a deeper understanding of it than me as someone with that experience, but in my research on this (which admittedly was a few years ago) it seems there is a variety of reasons why children are selectively mute, one of them being abusive environments and a predisposition to anxiety disorders. i would absolutely argue that both yuki and kisa have intense social anxiety, even outside of their mutism; and that yuki, aside from diagnosing him with something, is a perfectionist, and perfectionism often stops people from doing things.

i was also really sad yuki's mutism was only touched upon, so i actually wrote a whole fic about it! i think this is an incredibly interesting aspect of yuki's character. yuki in childhood has no autonomy at all: his life is controlled by his mother, then akito, and akito does not listen to him (or anyone). the other zodiacs ignore him, and he becomes tokenized as the rat instead of viewed as an individual. very often, yuki shrinks into himself as a reaction to this. he already has to keep physical and emotional distance from his peers due to the curse, and his oppressive home environment pushes him to even more extremes. i think so much of yuki's mutism is a maladaptive acceptance that he will never be listened to and that what he feels or thinks does not matter, and so he sinks into a depression where one of his copes is silence. even after this episode, he continues to be softspoken and keeps his cards close to his chest—which is why i love his relationship with kakeru so much, because kakeru coaxes him out of his shell. after meeting kakeru, he begins expressing his opinion more candidly and becomes openly emotional in ways that are supported by kakeru's view of him as a human being. yuki spends so much of his life being objectified as either the rat or the prince (both similar roles where he is being held to an extremely high standard that is only an archetype and robs him of individuality and humanity) and he plays the roles that are assigned to him. it is only when he is shown true love and acceptance through tohru that he can begin to learn who he is outside of those perceived roles, and allows him to express himself as yuki in front of kakeru, who never bought into the prince thing to begin with.

i think the other thing about fruits basket is that it is very tropey, and selective mutism in the way it is portrayed in fb is very much a shojo trope moreso than it is a real portrayal of a disorder. i don't think natsuki takaya is "trauma informed" as we would call it now, as it was written 20 years ago inside of a culture that notoriously does not take mental health seriously. i think yuki and kisa's mutism is very much a narrative choice, so i definitely agree with you re: what you're saying about "accurate" rep. anyway thanks for the ask and your serendipitous timing! thinking about that rat boy <3

[mokutone]

hi what do you think abt t4t kakayama (it's canon to me tbh)

:) hi ty for the question. i will do two sweet pictures of them being intimate and then under the cut there's going to be a longer very unsweet and more technical response

so i'm usually not a very shippy person! but that said i am also on the record as an occasional kakayama + kakayamagai enjoyer

i do hc them both as trans and in different ways w/ different experiences of transition and identity! i have no interest in proving my view as canon, but i do regard my reading of the text (text here including the anime) as a valid interpretation of yamato's experience of identity

yamato, for example, imo, doesnt have any real lived experience of being raised as a child of any gender. he was an experimental subject, and then he was Danzō's weapon/vessel for the mokuton, and then he was in anbu.

in a fun little word game which should not be taken seriously: it'd almost be more fitting to describe him as "adgender" rather than "transgender" since the prefix "trans" implies moving across where the prefix "cis" means to stand still, but the prefix "ad" means "to move towards" and i headcanon him as somebody who was degendered as a child, not in a cool nonbinary way, but instead in a dehumanizing, objectifying way, so his experience of creating his identity and his gender along with it is one of moving toward the concept of gender this word doesn't and wont exist, but bc of the way english works it would probably be simplified to be spelled precisely the same as "agender" in the same way that "aggression" came from latin "aggredi" which came from "ad" (meaning to/toward) and and latin "gradus" (meaning step) (essentially the combination means "to step to" [in a threatening manner]) the only diferences is where agender (meaning no gender) is pronounced ay-gender, the agender that comes from adgender would be prounounced more like "uhgender" in the same way that agressive isnt pronounced like "ay-gressive" but instead like "uhgressive"

and then...as for kakashi? i just decided on vibes. i didn't think hard about it.

i guess i should also say that, while i draw kakayama very infrequently, when i do draw it i usually try to be very apparent about the transness in the artwork if i can? especially if i'm drawing anything more intimate than a peck on the cheek. it's no secret that shipping is often times the most energized part of fandom, and i kind of don't want to produce romantic or sexual artwork which will be enjoyed by people who don't think trans people can be attractive? or who find that trans headcanons make a character uninteresting to them? or worse, "ruin" a depiction of a character to them?

often i think about in terms of. IF there are people that follow me that love my work (usually) and think that kakashi or yamato are hot (usually) and love kakayama (usually) but get frustrated or even uncomfortable out when i draw them as explicitly trans? then i'm drawing all intimate artwork of them as explicitly trans.

it's a little like...nobody gets to love my work if transgender characters are a turnoff for them. that's the bar for entry, is the way i think of it, but really its more like putting onions in a dish. if you want to eat the dish you have to eat the onions. if you don't want to eat the onions, don't eat the dish. all the meals i make contain onions. i'll never compromise on my intention to put onions in every dish i make. that's my ninja way, as the kids say.

especially in the climate we're in right now.

i don't know. i have a lot of feelings about how most fandoms tend to view trans men, especially in terms of romantic and sexual relationships. I'm doing a bad job of expressing the depth of how much seeing how fandom treats trans male identity and transmasculine bodies impacts the way that i draw + write kakayama, but genuinely it's something i think about every single time i create content about them.

[homosexualasstransbian]

im transfem/nonbinary and honestly the whole cutesy uwu anime girl puppy girl aesthetic is making me feel ill. i recently got harrassed by a cis woman chaser who saw the transflag in my bio and started talking to me in this really weird overly cutesy way and started flirting with me, i told her im taken and not interested and this is weird and she said something like "oki u silly transie, if u ever need a girly to do something for you im here, cuz nornal girls are boring" and then the next day she sent me some image of some anime girl w/ the caption "im not like other girls, i have a massive cock" and asked "this u?" and she was so weird and gross and overly cutesy. and like the fact im trans is part of me and im proud of it but i want to be seen as me, as a person, as smthn beyond arbitrary boxes. thats why im nonbinary, i dont wanna be forced into some made up vague perception of how i have to be and instead just be me and do my own thing. i dont label my sexuality either but im pretty sure im like pretty aromantic. greyromantic or whatever its called. and my sexuality i kinda tie together with my romantic attraction, so its often incredibly odd to me how prevalent sexual language and stuff is online and how weirdly its treated as smthn normal, especially in more queer communities. and when i feel terrible and get support online, ppl will say ooo ur pretty ooo ur cute dont be sad and downplay it when i need someone to talk to qnd need to be acknoledged beyond how i physically am, it makes me feel rlly objectified and like my only value is in the fact that i am trans and how i look, and its my only thing and the only way ppl refer to me and boil me down to. but i dont want to be some cutesy meme girl, i want ppl to acknowledge me and what i do and like and love and enjoy and hate and dislike and think and say, i want to be seen and understood regardless of and beyond my transness. because im a raw, living breathing human person thats infinitely complex, and i just wanna be me and do what i enjoy. i dont want my personality boiled down to superficial aspects of me that exists solely because outside society needed a label for it to ostrasize or fetishize it. im sorry for the long rant its just rlly frustrating, especially when you try to find communities and its just so weirdly sexual and condescending and objectifying 😭

hey unfortunately, i do not have the mental capacity to be able to read all of this and actually respond to it, i just lose 80% of the ask once I'm finished reading, so I'll just say: damn fuck that cis bitch.

While i get that after your experiences this "aesthetic" might make you feel ill, i really don't see why i should be told this.

I do not choose the way i present to other people because it's what i feel i should look or act like, i act however feels good to me. the reason my blog looks like this is because, put simply, i like it.

I may not be just a puppy, girl or gay, in fact the most accurate way to describe me would be "thing that should not be alive as far as anyone knows, but it persists, it's also a puppy that is a girl, a robot, a void and divine flesh"

but i go with my current aesthetic, username, and whatever else because they're the descriptions I'm most confident in, they make me feel nice, i love them.

I am quite literally a tranny girl faggot that acts like a puppy sometimes.

Sometimes i feel like I'm a shattered vessel built of divine flesh that's empty and yet so completely full.

Sometimes i wish my flesh melted away, permanently fusing me with the outer shell of a mech.

None of my identities are fully separate or stable, but they also feel distinct enough that i only choose one at a time (and even then sometimes they can split apart).

I don't act like this because i wanna be "haha silly cute trans girl that's an adorable puppy and is so so overly sexual", it's just what i act like, in general, if I don't worry about pretending to be someone else.

I guess put simply: if you don't like me: fucking leave, block me, get rid of me, i won't hold it against you, I'll continue to do what i like, the way i like doing it, because this is my blog.

i forgot where i was going with this post, y'all just get this really long one i guess.

[kaninchen-reblogs]

I’m not entirely sure how to word this correctly cuz brain currently scrampled egg but I feel like being on the aro/ace spectrum as a transfem is incredibly frustrating when the majority of online transfem spaces are very hypersexual

Like on one hand, trans women are constantly told by society that they’re undesirable except when they’re objectified and chased, so the act of taking their sexualization into their own hands is super important and I’m legitimately glad that trans girls can find spaces online where they can be unabashedly horny in a liberating way.

On the other hand, you can’t look up “transgender” on this site without getting 80% porn bots and 20% discourse, I can’t share [animal]girl[bodypart] blogs to my ace friends without them being jumpscared by the most recent post being uncensored explicit imagery, and a big chunk of the online white anglo-centric transfem culture now is being super horny, alongside NEET-posting, blahaj, and striped socks.

Like I’m on the ace spectrum but I’m sex-positive and not bothered by the horny stuff so it doesn’t affect me too much. But I cannot imagine how alienating it must feel to be aromatic, asexual, and/or sex-repulsed as a transfem and your only other option is the sanitized, infantilized “uwu im anxious eepy baby with shark plush” meme-space. And I’m aware that HRT affects libido — ever since I started it, it’s definitely gone up, so I can’t blame people for needing an outlet.

I mean I guess that speaks to how you can never be “truly” inclusive in a space because something will always be exclusive to another person. Idk I just wish the world was safer for transfems from all walks of life, and there were more spaces for us to be proud of ourselves without it falling into “super horny”, “discourse”, or “ultra-sanitized”.