#like. that is not what happened. if u don’t understand u don’t get Alex’s character

[idk-i-just-really-like-tsc]

izzie haters are so extra calm the fuck down get away from me <3

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Ok here’s a request (u don’t have to do it if u don’t have time).

Relationship: Jesse/Becky/reader(or original character)

The reader has been keeping a secret from their partners Jesse and Becky, they had an abusive parent. They only find out bc of a fight or something when the reader experiences some ptsd/anxiety symptoms. This results in fluffy hurt comfort.

(I totally understand if this is to much to write bc of the subject matter, so if u can’t because of personal reasons I get it.)

Thanks!

For The Better

Fandom: Full House

Pairing:  Jesse Katsopolis x Becky Donaldson x Female Reader

Characters: Jesse Katsopolis, Rebecca Donaldson, Female Reader, Nicky Katsopolis, Alex Katsopolis

Word Count: 2319 // Rating: Mature

Summary: Jesse does something he regrets

Tags/ Warnings: Child abuse, Hitting, Spanking, Trauma, Childhood Trauma, Arguing, Hurt, Comfort, Angst, Bad Behaviour, Naughty Children, PTSD, Anxiety, Crying, Guilt, Request, Requested Fic, Polyamory, Throuple, Co-Parenting

Notes: I am working slowly through all my requests. I'm not into many of them atm because im focused on my Elvis stuff [Jesse would be 100% on board with this i feel]

Hope this is okay.

‘Nicky, Alex stop!’ Jesse said as his sons darted around him. He was trying to work, to lay down new material, but he couldn't as his two rambunctious boys were determined to get under his feet. It had been like this all morning. Y/N had taken the girls to school whilst Becky was at work leaving him with no choice but to keep the boys in the basement with him as they worked on their new tracks. 

‘Jess man,’ Steve sighed from behind his drumkit. The twins had darted away from their father and were now interested in hammering on the cymbals and giggling at the noise they made. 

‘Boys!’ Jesse said lurching forward to collar them both and pull them away. He took his guitar off with his free hand and then bent down in front of them trying not to crack as they looked at him with those adoring eyes, ‘you need to behave now. I mean it. I don't want to have to punish you okay?’

‘Okay daddy,’ they said in unison. Jesse nodded and led them back to their small desk which was set up with a painting station in an attempt to keep them quiet, something that had not happened thus far. They sat down and started engaging which made Jesse heave a sigh of relief before he turned back to the guys and gestured for them to start playing again. As he took to the mic once more he finally started to relax.’

‘Well her love doesn't come along until midnight,

And her passion rages on until the daylight-’

‘Jess?’ came a call from the stairs interrupting his singing. The band groaned and he groaned along with them just as Y/N appeared at the bottom of the stairs. She smiled at him and said, ‘hey, sorry to interrupt I thought I’d come and take the boys off your hands.’

‘Well thanks,’ Jesse said as she sidled up to him, her hands resting on his chest, ‘didn't you see the on-air sign though?’

‘I must've missed it,’ she said, ‘sorry baby.’

‘It’s fine,’ Jesse said tightly making Y/N’s brow furrow.

‘Is this a problem? I mean it was a genuine mistake,’ Y/N said feeling uncomfortable. He was mad. She could tell.

‘You know better though,’ he said, ‘I mean you had to know I was recording down here.’

‘I did but I didn't think it was a big deal, Jess. I’m sorry okay,’ she said.

‘It's just between you and the boys we haven't gotten anything done,’ Jesse sighed exasperatedly. 

‘Well, that's what it's like when you have kids,’ she said.

‘You don't think I know that?’ Jesse said, ‘I mean, wait where are they?’ 

Jesse and Y/N’s heads whipped around looking for the tykes who were no longer at their assigned station. As he turned around he spotted two pairs of shoes sticking out from under his mixing table and headed towards it. Behind his desk were Nicky and Alex, tape in hand, unspooling masses and masses of black onto the floor around them. 

‘What the hell?!’ Jesse said. It was their current tape. The only thing they had managed to record the entire morning was now lost and unspooled all around his troublemakers. 

‘Look daddy,’ Nicky said offering up his now useless tape. 

‘What did you do!? I told you to behave!’

‘Jess it's okay we can sort it,’ Y/N said from behind. 

‘Can we?!’ he asked, ‘they don't listen Y/N! They run around and they make noise. They break things and terrorise anyone in the room. We can’t fix it! They don't listen to anything.’ 

‘So what do you suppose we do?’ she asked. 

‘I know,’ Jesse said and before waiting for her to reply he yanked Nicky and Alex out from the desk and stood them in front of him, ‘now I told you you had to behave and you didn't listen to me. So I’m sorry but I have to do this okay?’ 

And before Y/N could speak he spun them both around and placed two harsh spanks across each of their behinds. The twins didn't speak as he whipped them around, looking at him wide-eyed, ‘now I’m sorry it came to that but you boys understand right? You need to listen.’

‘Okay daddy,’ they said in a distinctly less jovial tone than before. 

‘Jess,’ Y/N said in barely more than a whisper. She couldn't believe what she had just whispered. All of a sudden memories cascaded in her brain like fireworks bringing with them pain and anguish. She couldn't think. Her body was in overdrive, there was ringing in her ears and sweat pumping off of her as she looked at the twins' hurt faces. Jesse looked up at her, clocking her blank face and offering one of worry from him but she couldn't say anything. Before he could question her she grabbed the twins and darted upstairs. 

She could hear him calling her but she couldn't stop. She needed to get out of there. She needed to protect them. She bolted upstairs, ignoring the tears that were now running down her face or the distressed cries from the boys as they asked her what was the matter. Once in the attic, she got them in their room, pushing their changing table up against the door. 

She collapsed against the opposite wall, trying to push out the echoes of shouting and the feel of red welts on her skin that weren't even there. 

‘What's the matter, mommy?’ Nicky asked coming to sit in her crossed lap.

‘Nothing baby,’ she sniffled pulling him in close and then Alex who was determined not to be left out in too, ‘it's fine. We’re safe.’ 

‘Y/N?’ she heard Jesse say, as he called her name again his voice got closer until she heard the rattle of the door handle from across the room. Her heart was thudding in her chest. It was a sound she had heard a million times before. Someone determined to get inside, to get to her when she didn't want them to. She couldn't let him in. She needed to protect her boys.

‘Y/N why is the door locked?’ he asked, ‘baby-’

‘Go away,’ she said and though it was faint he heard it.

‘Y/N what's going on?’

‘Go away Jess,’ she sniffled.

‘Y/N-’

‘Go away!’ 

She heard movement outside the door as Jesse rested against it. He was confused. He didn't know what had happened. In the span of two minutes, he had gone from a loving father to a man who hits his children. He knew he’d messed up. Spanking was never something he thought he would ever do but he had lost sight of himself. Everything had been so full on. The noise, the running around, the interruptions and finally the tape. He had lost it. And he instantly regretted it, even more so when he looked up and found Y/N’s horrified face watching him before she bolted from the room kids in two. Now she wasnt coming out. Was she scared of him? 

Pain rippled through him at the thought. He needed to see her. He needed her to come out so he could apologise. So he could beg for her forgiveness and tell the boys how much he was sorry. 

But he couldn't force his way in. He needed help. He needed Becky. 

✵✵✵

‘Jess just tell me what’s going on,’ Becky said as they climbed the stairs to the attic.

‘You'll find out soon enough,’ Jesse said as they entered their living room. Jesse gestured to the twins' room and then went to sit on their bed waiting with bated breath that this would work. Becky watched him confused before she headed to the door and tried to open it frowning when it wouldn't budge. 

‘Y/N?’ she asked gently. 

‘Beck?’ she heard a sniffle come from the other side of the door.

‘It’s me,’ Becky said, ‘can I come in?’ 

‘I can't open the door Beck,’ she said, ‘I can't-’

‘Why not?’ Becky asked.

‘I’m scared,’ she said, ‘and I keep telling myself Im overreacting but I can't get up. It's like I'm glued to the floor.’

‘Jesus, what happened?’ Becky said incredulously looking at Jesse for answers but couldn't bring himself to say anything and instead hung his head in shame. 

‘Mommy?’ Nicky said excitedly.

‘It's me, baby,’ Becky said, ‘Y/N you need to come out.’

Beck-’

‘Think of the boys,’ she said, ‘I mean you can't keep them in there forever-’

‘They're safe in here,’ Y/N reasoned.

‘And they're safe out here too,’ Becky reasoned, ‘why wouldn't they be?’

‘Jesse hit them,’ Y/N said making Becky’s eyes go wild.

‘What?’ she said, ‘is this true?’ 

‘Beck I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘I didn’t mean to.’

Becky watched him for a moment, hurt written all over her face before she retained her composure and she looked back at the door. 

‘Y/N, sweetheart, I know what he did was wrong but you have to come out. We have to talk about this. You can't keep the boys locked up forever honey. Please? Come out?’ she said. Y/N didn't reply but there was distinct movement behind the door and the next time Becky tried the handle it clicked open without issue. The boys flocked to her as she opened it, clinging onto a leg each as thas stroked their hair and then asked them to go and play. They ran into the living room resuming the leftover jigsaw that they had insisted on getting out at three am that morning. 

Becky walked into their room ad slid down beside Y/N on the floor as Jesse leaned against the wall watching them shamefully. 

‘Can someone tell me what happened?’ Becky asked, moving a strand of hair off of Y/N’s face as she sniffled. 

‘Jesse spanked the boys,’ Y/N said. 

‘Jess?’ Becky asked looking at her husband with the hope that it wasnt true.

‘I’m sorry okay? I don't know what came over me. They were getting into all sorts, they wouldn't sit still, we got no work done and then they ruined the tape we’d been working on all morning and I don't know. I just lost it,’ he said. 

‘So you hit them?’ Becky asked with disbelief.

‘I’m not proud of it Beck,’ he said, ‘and I’ll never do it again I swear.’

‘That's what he said,’ Y/N said with a scoff that made both pairs of eyes fall on her.

‘Who?’ Becky asked confused. 

‘My dad,’ she said shakily, ‘every time he used to hit me. Every time he’d march into my room finding the littlest thing to lose it at me over. He'd always say that that was the last time. That he never do it again.’

‘I never knew that about your dad,’ Bekcy said. 

‘I never talk about it,’ Y/N admitted, ‘I never needed to. I mean I thought I’d gotten rid of that shit but seeing Jess, I mean the boys’ faces just brought it all back.

‘Y/N you have to believe me when I say I couldn't feel worse right now. I know it was wrong. And believe me, I never want to feel this way again. I never want to upset you or the boys like this again.’

‘How can I trust that?’ she sniffled, ‘I mean I never thought you would-’

‘I mean it,’ Jesse said, ‘you two and the boys are my everything. You have to believe me.’

He came to kneel in front of them then. His hands were on theirs and he looked at them pleadingly. She looked at him for a second, her heart aching at the thought of his actions. 

‘Jess is right,’ Becky said, ‘I mean I don't condone what he did in any way shape or form but it was a momentary lapse. I believe that don't you?’ 

‘And if he gets angry again? If the twins do something like today again?’ Y/N asked. 

‘Like I said. Nothing they could ever do would make me want to feel this feeling again. It's the worst feeling in the world,’ he said.

‘Yeah,’ Becky said, ‘and I’m sure Jess doesn't expect forgiveness right away right aby?’

‘Whatever it takes for you and the boys to forgive me I’ll do,’ Jesse nodded. Y/N seemed to deliberate on that point for a moment before she nodded gently. 

‘And maybe we can talk about it a bit more?’ Becky said, ‘I mean we all have our own ideas about parenting and I know we discuss stuff but it's usually as it happening to us. Maybe it would be good if we talked a little more. That way when situations come up we’ll know how the others feel about it.’

‘Yeah, I mean I had no idea about your dad,’ Jesse said, moving to sit beside her. 

‘I’ve not felt those feelings in a long time,’ she admitted looking up at him, her eyes red-rimmed from crying which broke his heart all over again. 

‘I’m sorry it was me who made you feel that way,’ he said. 

‘Well I suppose it's better you’re trying to make up for it,’ she said with a weak smile, ‘he never even acknowledged it happened. A quick mumbled apology and then he’d be right back to where we started.’ 

‘Well then at least we’re making changes right?’ Becky said. 

‘For the better,’ Y/N said, leaning in so Jesse could wrap an arm around them both. 

‘For the better,’ he agreed. 

He didn't feel entirely better about himself and he was sure Y/N didn't either but they were right. What had happened in the past didn't matter as long as they tackled the here and now. And more importantly together.

[teddy06writes]

sum angst for sapnap x quackity x karl x reader if requests are open, i dont remember if they are, and if u feel up to it

sapnap x karl x quackity x reader + sleepy bois x sibling!reader

trigger warnings: yelling, swearing, character death

this is an in game au so be aware of that

premise: you’ve been on the inside, spying on Shlatt for pogtopia, you thought you had had him convinced that the spy was Tubbo (Who knew just about nothing about pogtopia) but during the festival Shlatt asks you to make a speech... after the festival, things begin to fall apart

(y/n/n)- your nickname

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“And you’re sure about this? You’re positive that it’s him and not Quackity?” Shlatt asked.

The festival was in two days, Wilbur’s plan to blow Manburg was in place, and suddenly huge evidence of things you had berried was piling up. Your entire position as Pogopia’s spy was at risk.

“I’m positive Mr. President. I caught Tuboo poking around in some tunnels, trying to talk to TommyInnt just yesterday,” You lied straight through your teeth, “The log I found behind the files proves it.”

You held up the book, truly a work of your own notes, signed in you co workers hand.

Shlatt took it, quickly skimming through the pages, “Hmmm, this is significant evidence to condemn the kid. We’ll have to do something about.”

“Maybe we should exile him, like Wilbur and Tommy.” You suggested carefully.

He considered it for a moment, a wide jagged grin spreading across his face, “Or... we could execute him,” He seemed to take pleasure in your shock, “Publicly. We have been needing a slam finish for that festival.”

“Shlatt Tubbo is just a child!”

Shlatt glared down at you, “Sorry, what was that? It almost sounded like you were trying to go against the word of the president.”

The threat chilled you to the core, and you strained to stay calm, “With all due respect Mr. President, Tubbo is only 16, and there are other ways to deal with insurgents.”

“Insurgents? As in there's multiple now?” Alex strode into the room, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you breathed a slight sigh of relief.

“Yes, your partner here has just informed me that our dear Tubbo is a traitor,” Shlatt slammed the journal onto the desk, ignoring the glare Alex gave him when you jumped, “He’s been spying on Manburg for Pogtopia.”

Alex reached for the book, flipping to the last page and reading allowed, “If there is ever a time to strike, it would be during the Manburg festival, though it is worth noting Wilbur’s plan of destroying L’Manburg should be put off as long as possible.”

“When I caught them in the tunnels under the city, they were talking about tnt,” You said, the shake in your voice all too real, as forced tears began to prick in your eyes, “Wilbur’s going to blow it up.”

Shlatt looked at you clearly searching for something, but giving up once you fully began to cry, turning to burry your face in your boyfriends shoulder.

The president sighed, annoyed, “Get them outta here Quackity, I can’t work when there's fucking crying in my office.”

“It’s probably just the stress, sir. I’ll get them home.” Alex carefully led you out of the white house, and you were grateful, unknowing how much of the emotion was real or not.

“Oh god! Is (y/n) okay?” Karl asked as soon as Alex had gotten you to where he was decorating party island.

“Yeah, they’ll uh- they’ll be alright. Shlatt, Manburg, stress, you know?” He eased you down to sit on one of the benches, and quickly Karl moved to sit and wrap his arms around you.

“Hey, I’ve gotta get back to work. I’ll see you guys tonight.” Alex quickly pecked at your cheek, and then Karl’s lips before heading back in the direction of the white house.

“What happened?” Karl asked softly once he had gone.

You sniffled, leaning into his embrace, “Work’s stuff. The festival’s getting stressful.”

“Yeah, well I’m helping Tubbo with the last of the decorating tomorrow,” He paused, “You’re missing Wilbur and Tommy aren’t you?”

You nodded, “I miss them and Techno and Phil. I miss home.”

Your duties as a spy didn’t entail much seeing your brothers, just taking down notes of what was going on in Manburg and leaving them in a remote chest for Wilbur to collect later.

“We all miss home. But think about it this way, if you hadn’t come here, you wouldn’t’ve found me, or Alex, or Nick,” Karl said, looking out at the rest of Manburg, “We wouldn’t have this place without you or your brothers, and even Shlatt can’t change that.”

You smiled a bit at that, “Thanks Karl.”

“And! You don’t have to worry about decorations for the festival cause I’m helping Tubbo with it tomorrow!”

Though it was meant to cheer you up you felt your heart sink lower, he and Nick still didn’t know, and wouldn’t about what would be planned for the festival, but hopefully Alex would understand the burden.

~~

“So why is there a festival?”

Nick had just arrived back in Manburg from a while’s stay in the SMP, and was very confused by the posters lining the streets.

“Shlatt wants to celebrate democracy, so he’s had Tubbo and I organize a festival.” You explained.

He cocked an eyebrow, “And what does Wilbur think of this?”

Nick was still the only one who’d found out about your allegiances to Pogtopia, only by mistake, when he’d caught you making the journey back from the cavern.

“Wilbur thinks it’s an opportunity,” You sighed, quickly scribbling down a new messege to the boys, “Techno think’s it’s a waste of time and energy, the anarchist energy’s been shining through more and more lately.”

“So who do you agree with?” He asked carefully.

“Neither, Wilbur’s gone manic, Techno is- well he’s Technoblade, and Tommy just goes along with what Wil says.” You tucked each note into an envelope, folding them between the pages of the newest set of notes.

You looked up to meet Nick’s eyes, “I’m worried about what Friday will bring. I’ve tried to throw Shlatt off my trail and it seems like it’s working I just-”

You broke off as Nick wrapped his arms around you, “Hey, it’ll be okay. And if he tries anything, I’ll be there to protect you,” He chuckled, “Hell, maybe it’ll be the only time your brothers and I agree.”

“Maybe.” You mumbled.

“Woah! Are you guys cuddling without us?” Karl feigned shock as he came into the living room with Alex.

“I would never!” You forced a laugh.

~~

“(y/n), come on, we’ve gotta go get ready to meet Shlatt.” Alex nudged you.

You sighed, starting to snuggle back into Nick’s grip, wishing the small amount of morning calm would last, “Do we have too?”

“Yeah, you know he won’t be happy if we’re late.”

You looked at Karl and Nick, still mostly asleep, and then back at him, quietly admitting, “I’m scared today could change everything.”

He sighed, immediately shifting back down into be, “I suppose we could stay a bit longer.”

Slowly, the other boys woke up, but the room remained in silence, as if everyone could feel the coming tension, as if even moving would shatter the peace of the day.

Carefully, Karl broke the silence, “We’re gonna be okay guys. The festival is gonna be awesome. Wilbur wouldn’t do anything to ruin it for (y/n).”

“If what they found out is true, you guys could all be at risk.” Alex murmured.

Nick sighed, “I don’t care who’s bad side I get on, it’s gonna be anything to keep you all safe.”

Each of you heard a different meaning behind his words, but still none of you spoke.

“Whatever happens today, we’ll make it through, the country, may not.” You said, voice wavering, but still with a note of finality.

~~

By midday the festival was in full swing, and surprising your older brother had actually shown up for the festivities.

“Strange seeing you here,” You laughed, nudging him, “A celebration of a government.”

“It’d be rude to turn down an invitation ta one a these,” He sighed, glancing around, “Where’s your boyfriends hanging around at, I haven’t threatened them yet today.”

You chuckled, “Q’s helping Shlatt with the last of the prep for the speeches. Sapnap’s supposedly trying to figure a way to cheat Fundy’s dunk tank and Karl’s over there.” You gestured to where he, Tubbo, Sam and Bad were running around at Party Island.

“mmm, hey, uh, your note the other day, you weren’t serious about framing the kid right?”

You sucked in a breath, tightening the grip on the sword at your side, “It was him or Al- Quackity, I couldn’t do that to him. Whatever they’re planning I’m going to stop them.”

Techno look back at the stage warily, “I’ll back you up if I can.”

Soon everyone was being called to take there seats in the audience as you, Tubbo, Alex, and Shlatt took to the stage.

“Well everyone!” Shlatt addressed the crowd, “Thank you for coming to this wonderful celebration of democracy! Things sure have gotten bet around here, I’m gonna give the mic to Tubbo, the main organizer of this event, for his speech.”

Tubbo grinned, shuffling his notecards as he took Shlatt’s spot in front of the microphone, “Hello everyone! I’m honestly so excited to be here right now!”

As Tubbo rambled on about Wilbur and Tommy’s banishment, you stood back, wishing you could’ve stood on the same side of the stage as Alex.

Looking out over the crowd gathered you tried not to let your gaze wander to Tommy and Wilbur, who you knew were perched on the top of a near by building.

“And uh yeah! To democracy!” Tubbo concluded.

You could almost here Alex chuckle as he started to turn to the chest on the side of the stage, ready to grab the materials to box the boy in.

“That was nice, hey, uh, (y/n), dear (y/n), my secretary of state, I uh, I hate to put you on the spot here, but uh, why don’t you come up and make a speech?” You blood ran cold at Shlatts words.

On the other side of the stage Alex froze as well, out in the crowd no one suspect anything, so you clasped your hands behind your back to hide the tremors and moved in front of the microphone.

“Well, uh hi guys! I honestly didn’t except to be up here making a speech today, so I’m not quite sure if this will even turn out coherent,” You laughed, out of the corner of your eye you noticed Tommy tensing, “I remember, soon after I followed my brothers to this land, we fought in a war. L’manburg’s war for independence was long and hard, and I often thought we would never see a better time, but standing here, it is very clear to me that this country has changed since the election.

“This country, since gaining it’s independence has changed my life, and it weighs on my heart that My L’manburg has a ruler such as Mr. JShlatt. We fought for this land, my brothers and I, and here we are today, with so much progress made! So, my friends, my colleges, here's to Our L’manburg!”

Everyone began to cheer, only to be cut off my Shlatt’s harsh laugh, “Oh, (y/n), it’s Manburg now remember? or did you forget while you were off conspiring with your brothers in Pogtopia?”

Tubbo pushed a still frozen Alex out of the way to grab the materials, beginning to box you in.

“S- shlatt?” You quickly turned on the emotion, turning frantically as they caged you in, “Shlatt what are you talking about?”

“Shlatt what the hell are you doing?” Alex asked.

“Oh, you didn't know? Your partners a traitor!” Shlatt laughed again.

Alex turned to you, now trapped between the throne and the mic stand, looking betrayed.

“I didn’t do anything! Shlatt! Please!” Though a few days before most of the emotion had been real, but now you were thankful for your acting skills, blubbering, “Alex! Alex look at me it wasn’t me! I didn’t do anything!”

Down in the stands Nick was halfway to standing, pushing Karl back down into his own seat.

“Or really? So that book wasn’t forged? That chest you used to pass messages? You tried to turn them against me!” Tubbo exclaimed.

“I didn’t- I- I would never betray my country!” You sobbed, forcing tears to leak from your eyes.

“Oh shut up,” Shlatt turned to the crowd, “Technoblade, front and center, get up here.”

Shakily Techno stood, quietly moving up to stand on the stage as Alex backed off the stage, looking between you and Shlatt with mixes of betrayal and shock.

“What uh, what you need me up here for Shlatt?”

“I want you to take care of them, make a public example.”

Techno coughed awkwardly, “You- you want me ta kill m’ sibling?”

“No!” You exclaimed, “Techno please...”

Shlatt glared at you, “Cut the crap (y/n)! We all know you aren’t actually this god damn emotional!”

Sapnap was fully in the isle now, sword drawn, and up on the roof You saw Wilbur clamping a hand over Tommy’s mouth to keep him to keep him from giving them away.

Sighing you wiped away the fake tears, “You have to admit, Shlatt, you believed me, you trusted me!”

Shlatt just rolled his eyes, “Techno get on it, snap too! I’ve got places to be.”

Techno slung his crossbow off his shoulder uncertainly, “(y/n)?”

All the fear from the morning came flooding back, but you shoved it down, leaning forward, to make eye contact with Shlatt, “You kill me now and nothing will change! This place will still go down hill and my brothers will still plot against you! All my secrets go down with me!”

“Shut your mouth and die already!”

Your nails dug into your palms, “Don’t make them watch Shlatt, have some mercy, if you want to kill me kill me, but don’t make my boys watch, don’t make Techno do it.”

“Get it over with!”

You leaned forward, gritting your teeth, “You heard the man, kill me.”

“(y/n), I can’t- you- yo- I-”

“Do it.” You hissed.

Time slowed, and Techno slowly raised the crossbow.

You looked out, past him, over the rolling fields of L’manburg, your home.

Niki out in the crowd wore a look of horror, hiding her face in Eret’s shoulder, who wore a simillar look for fear. Fundy wore a steely expression clearly close to breaking, Sam looked down right terrified, as Bad hid his eyes in his hands.

To your left Tubbo looked scared even though he’d put you in the cage, you were glad it was you and not him.

Shlatt wore his usual evil grin, pupil’s dilated.

Up on the roof, Tommy, your little brother looked horrified, Wilbur still holding him back with a neutral expression, Techno, now directly in front of you, was nearly in tears, your big brother, who swore to protect you, now being your end, it seemed almost poetic.

Behind him Nick was running up the isle, sword drawn, though you knew he’d be to late, Karl, lip quivering sat frozen, and Alex, his face still was filled with betrayal.

You looked up, took a deep breath and then time resumed, Techno pulled the trigger and everything went black.

{(y/n) went off with a bang}

~~

It was cold.

Dark.

You didn’t now where you were as you drifted through a world you barley recognized.

Where was this?

How did you get there?

Vaguely you remembered a festival, your brothers, plus your boyfriends, oh how you loved them.

Your friends had been there too.

You looked back down to see L’manburg, ‘home!’ you thought happily.

You drifted towards your house, a voice in the back of your brain wondering, ‘why am I not walking?’

“What the fuck was that?” A loud voice cut through the air.

‘Nicky!’ you thought happily, following the sound.

“What the hell do you mean?”

‘Alex!’

You entered the room, finding them standing on opposite side, Karl, huddled in the corner.

“You are so fucking stupid! You know that? You let them die! They’re fucking dead because of you!”

“They were a fucking traitor! They got what was coming to them!”

“They loved you!” Nick screamed back, “They loved you and me and Karl, and their brothers! And now there gone! Because of You and Fucking Shlatt!”

What were they talking about?

“They fucking betrayed us! They betrayed Manburg! You saw the fucking acting they did! How do you know they ever loved us!”

From the corner Karl sobbed, and instinctively you moved to comfort him, but instead you passed right through.

‘what the hell?’

You had no time to dwell however because Nick shouted, “Etheir way you let them die! They’d be here if you’d interfered!”

“But I didn’t wooupdy do! They were a traitor!”

“They were trying to save their home!”

“WELL MAYBE THEY SHOULD’VE CONSIDERED THAT I WAS TRYING TO BUILD IT UP!”

“You and Shlatt never did anything but tare this place to the ground.” It was only a whisper, but Nick’s words sent Alex spinning on his heel and heading out the door.

“Fuck you! Fuck you! I am aware that my best isn’t good enough! So fuck you!”

The door slammed, and Nick only blinked a moment before Karl quietly asked, “Why did you do that?”

“What?”

“Now he’s gone too!”

Karl’s voice made your heart shatter.

“You think that’s my fault?! Clearly he didn’t give a shit about us, or them, other wise he would’ve stopped Shlatt.”

“They said we’d be okay! But we’re not!” Karl sobbed.

“I can fucking see that! God damn Karl! What did you except?”

“I-”

Before he could finish the door was slamming again.

Karl leaned back against the wall, staring straight through you whispering, “Why did you have to go (y/n/n)? You only just brought us together! We only just figured it out.”

[soyouareandrewdobson]

…the ugly. SYAC: The Master Review 4

Last post I covered much of what I consider the good or passable strips of SYAC of the pre-Dobbear era. What I have admittedly not covered yet, were three certain characters of the strip that exist beside Dobson.

Persistent Pam

 Curmudgeonly Carl

And… this guy I am not even sure has a name.

No, seriously. He shows up in like the 61th strip of the series for the first time and yet I never see his name mentioned once

All I know is that he is an accountant, who pities Dobson (for good reason)

And despite Dobson not liking alcohol, they regularly meet up in a bar as if they are some late 80s comedy duo

Funnily enough, he shows up way before Pam, who would have her premiere in these strips

 And despite only showing up in a few strips after her premiere (mostly to make “fun” of overbearing and snarky commissioners I suppose…)

 She actually managed something no other character or series by Dobson managed to get: A fanclub

 Not that she would really be of any major importance afterwards.

As for Carl, he is supposed to be something like an antagonistic embodiment of Dobson’s “old” art teachers and people being stuck in old ways, who shows up for the following strips forming a sort of arc.

In addition, it is very obvious, that Carl is supposed to be a mockery of people flaming Dobson. Not helped by the fact that THIS character sheet of him made by Dobson assures us, that there were quite a few even less “endorsing” things he wanted to name the character.

Yet funnily enough, Carl turned into such a popular character with readers, Dobson was essentially “forced” to make him reappear in other strips. Not of the “classical” SYAC strips, but he showed up as the “antagonist” to Tenku in the storydriven multi pagers. Though even antagonist is a strong word, as he is essentially more of a jerkish art teacher and college advisor who is harsh on Tenku, but actually has his best interests in mind. To the point he even offers him to be his “harsher” art critic in the years till he enters college, because he wants to see him grow artistically.

 However, Carl was also more of an “accident”. Cause when it came otherwise to tackling criticism or things that irked Dobson (and were not anime related) he would end up more or less creating strips that painted him in a manner where he would supposedly always look like “the better” compared to his opposition or mock it. Which is where a lot of the irk Dobson would earn over the years eventually comes from.

Now to be fair, I do not want to call every comic in that regard “strawmanning”, nor do I want to say that Dobson doesn’t have the right to also mock to a certain extend the mentality of certain “snobs” and so on. For example…

On one hand, I know there are people out there who think they are “special” by having the best tools at their disposal. When in reality you can achieve good results also with less expensive stuff. So mocking that sort of attitude is fine to me to some extend

BUT, when you also make down the line a comic like this…

… essentially making yourself come off as a “better” artist or person than others because you have “chosen” the better mass produced crap (btw, that is coming from someone who types this review on a Mac that runs Windows) , then the hypocrisy ends up to be rather strong with you.

 Which is also essentially the biggest issue with the strips I am about to show. The hypocrisy of Andrew Dobson. And no, I do not mean the tumblr blog by that. I mean the simple fact, that the content of some of the soon to follow strips gets kinda muddled when you take into consideration some of the things real life Dobson had said and done either at the time or in the years to come. Well that and the way how he tries to mock issues people have with his work, not realizing how he is essentially just reassuring those “silly critics” in their opinions while making his flaws more obvious to people that may have been previously unaware of them.

But enough talk, let me just show you in quick succession examples to confirm said point.

Considering Dobson’s longterm disdain for DnD you have to wonder what the joke really is outside of him portraying DnD players as ugly nerds, supposedly too geeky even for him. Which is hilarious in hindsight as he would years later become a fan of TAZ among other things.

Less hypocritical but the set up is kinda flawed. Like, you are obviously at a convention trying to sell stuff. Why would some old dude not interested in “kids crap” be at the convention anyway? Is he just bringing someone there and just wants to go, but first needs time to belittle your life choices?

 Rather hilarious in hindsight to me. Cause for someone claiming he has ideas that last for a life time and who seems rather distraught on the idea of others giving their input, he turned out to be so in need of ideas. Alex ze Pirate e.g. became from 2015 onward only defined by Dobson talking about the sexualities of his characters (and not even in comic as by that point it was discontinued, but rather in tweets and so on). Formera, which ran heavily on cheap shonen anime tropes ended up cancelled after two volumes, Cabin Rest was a failure after 20 strips, 2019 he relied primarily on cheap comics about Miraculous Ladybug and his understanding of certain genres is so bad, he can’t even think up the most basic ideas for a magical girl story.

Weirdly enough, that pitch of a garbage truck driver who fights crime? I think that could make for an enjoyable short story about a vigilante a la the Punisher or Sin-City.

 The way Dobson perceives criticism, while also essentially giving a quick rundown how he appreciated criticism in his childhood way better than in adulthood. Yeah, because criticism by your parents as a kid was always VERY constructive. (looks back at certain drawings from own childhood) brrr. And sorry Dobson, but sometimes criticism by strangers is better than criticism from friends. Cause friends may mince their words. Plus people have over time given you quite some insightful criticism aside “U SUX” when it comes to comics. You were just never willing to listen

Hey Dobson, you hear that? That is the sound of your career, dying and no one caring.

Yeah, I think someone who made such “brilliant” comedy as in these comics, totally has the right not to listen to what seems to be solid theoretical advice.

BTW, that Talus comic… I swear to god the worst “joke” Dobson ever told.

 Wow. You essentially make a point why you suck at drawing. While still not trying to change.

And as someone else once said: Don’t play with fire if you can’t deal with the heat, BLOCK-son!

This is not how I perceived your shit over the years. See, on one hand it is true that Alex ze Pirate e.g. has its own webpage to read the comic for free. HOWEVER most of his comics Dobson would hide from the start behind a paywall. The idea being that he would e.g. put a small reading sample of 10-15 pages up somewhere and then expect people to buy his comic for full price to get the rest. And you know, if you are e.g. a professionally published writer, that is fine. But when your average art output looks like THIS

And you expect people to pay more than 10 dollars for something that is only around 70 pages long while most people can get 200+ pages for the same amount of money that look like this…

 You can frankly go and screw yourself.

On one hand I get that the joke is meant to be, that as an independent content creator you may find yourself in a weird spot where your “child friendly” work may be put in a palace between edgier stuff other creators sell at conventions. On the other hand, I find it rather insulting in hindsight, that self declared feminist Andrew Dobson portrays such competition as either psychopathic murderers or stereotypical cartoon bimbos. If modern day Dobson saw the same strip by any other person, he would be insulted on behalf of the female that she is portrayed as a bimbo, when she could also be a very smart and attractive woman who knows how to tell brave and sexy stories.

Also, I have read your “child friendly” stuff, Dobson. I would call Atea or Alex abusive bitches who like to bully orphans but child friendly? Not to forget that your work is so basic and shallow in depth, it’s like the someone tried to create a chimera out of some of the worst traits associated with Dora the Explorer, 80s toodler cartoons and the Fairly Oddparents.

I frankly hate this theory on comedy. It is true, a lot of comedy can be deprived from conflict, misunderstandings etc. Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry and other cartoons as well as screwball comedies such as Rat Race can depend on it. Heck, one of my favorite comedians of all time is Christopher Titus, who based his entire career on the misery and absurdity of his life.

But comedy is not just defined by misery and conflict.

There are for example also the following theories when it comes to comedy…

And to get back e.g. to Titus, yes, he has build a lot of his comedy on the bad stuff that happened in his life. But he is also someone who in his comedy has build a lot of punchlines on the absurdity of certain situations he has been in life but which in a way have enriched his life positively.

 What I am trying to say is, comedy (and entertainment in that regard) does not just have to be defined by misery. And all things considered Dobson, you could have really tried to also just make comics wherein either you or your characters are just happy with their situation in life.

For example, this page from an Owl House fancomic?

I think it holds more entertainment value than your “joke” right here, despite not even telling a joke.

Simply because as a page overall, it tries to convey a positive emotion. Which is more than I can say about the strip.

Because of a lack of different level of thickness regarding your lines, which would trick people into perceiving depth, the fact that the fill bucket and shade layers can only do so much to cover for the rather monochromatic dull nature of your comic, the fact that your characters are not really all that complex and look rather simplicstic even compared to stuff from a comic like this…

And that is just coming from the top of my head as someone who never studied art. If any reader has something to add, I am willing to listen

And considering you could in later years never keep up to any release schedule, which among other things resulted in only three SYAC strips in total being released in 2016, I say go fuck yourself. Not to forget that even some of the worst newspaper comic strips out there tend to actually find a decent following and good jokes eventually, otherwise they would not manage to stay popular for years, if not even decades.

As someone who has worked internships a lot in life, I just want to say fuck you in all our names. Glad to see you having just as much respect for interns than any other scumbag on the planet. Probably even less respect, cause you know, in some places interns tend to get paid.

Also, there is supposedly an entire real world story going on about Dobson having worked at his former university at the time the comic came out and Chaz is based on a fellow intern.

Things are unfortunately rather vague in that regard and only hold up by demonstrative evidence such as the name of Chaz showing up in certain pages of the university and Dobson’s internship being mentioned somewhere.

Well, would you look at that: People have different opinions on your stuff.

There are ways to draw memes funny and then there are ways to fail at them

 You failed.

Funnily enough, that comic rings a lot truer to text than you expect. Considering how Dobson would often emulate certain aesthetics in his comics of shows that were rather passee by the time he published his stuff, plus how he will obsess over certain trends and games for years to come (like Skyrim or his Quiet Hate Boner) while also being unaware about current trends (how do you e.g. not have heard of My Hero Academia by 2018 at least once by accident?) Dobson has always been kinda late to the party. Missing the “zeitgeist” of nerd culture and as such never quite finding an audience.

Yeah, what Pam says. Not helped by the fact that yes, the floating eyebrows are real. Look at some earlier sketches or “professionally published” comics by his and you will see that each time characters get excited, their eyebrows will suddenly split into sets of three and float higher than Pennywise’s victims.

Ironically, that fits real life Dobson at the time and later on even more so than this comic version did. Sorry, but what am I supposed to call a person who has an hate boner on anime for years for superfluous reasons, made Danny and Spot a “gaming webcomic” deliberately to piss on non Nintendo fans and has admitted in some by now deleted youtube video, that he kept a list of usernames from an old forum just to remember even years later the people that were mean to him online?

 Fuck both of you. I do not expect the Sixtin Chapel in the background, but something to filll up the empty space behind you is at times needed.

The comic here is actually called politics. … ironic how things changed once a certain reality show host turned president.

Jesus Christ. I am not even that much of a Transformers fan (Prime fan for life however) but even I know that this is not supposed to be what you design the head of a Transformer like. Not even if they ever produce the Transformers equivalent of Teen Titans Go.

Too bad you still can’t stand the heat, otherwise you wouldn’t have completely disappeared last year.

When you know you are in a no win situation, and still manage to choose an even dumber option to escape. I really don’t get it. I just think the Portal reference makes the comic dated and Dobsn’s attempt at a smug face looks so stupid. Like his cheeks are falling in and his mouth is about ready to get raped by a garden hose or something.

Yeah, considering Dobson’s later constant need for safe spaces and to be in control of a situation and the narrative, which led to so many blocks over the years… if you know anything about Dobson, how this comic becomes harsher in hindsight is rather self explanatory. I just want to say one thing: There is a difference between genuine agoraphobia and just wanting to be by yourself. And I think Dobson just prefers the later on average. Which is okay, but humans still need to interact with other human beings in one form or another, even just for the sake of keeping their mental health stable. Why do you think are so many people getting depressed in times of covid lockdowns, despite many having all sorts of technical gimmicks at their disposal to at least keep boredom at bay?

And by putting himself into a bubble like that, I think Dobson has deprived himself of some of the most basic human interaction, which was likely a severe factor in his mental degeneration over the last years.

It is still a valid suggestion! Just draw some cartoon characters or a nice fantasy scenario on a mural and earn yourself some bucks. Just be sure they are not by Disney or the Mouse will tear down the school!

… Just google up the words Andrew Dobson and Samus Aran commission by ED and you will see how this comic just further shows how much Dobson seems to actually be proud of being an unproductive asshole.

 And by the way, I know that any form of artistic work takes time. Just writing these review posts takes a lot of time for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that people should post and create stuff in a timely fashion, especially when there are e.g. deadlines to hold up too. And by the way, Sloth’s don’t have fingers, they have claws!

And that is it.

Sorry if I missed anything folks, but I just saw how many pages in word this is already filling up, so I call quits for this part here right now. I think I made my point about how Dobson trying to badly deflect arguments people may make against his art and work ethics via jokes clear enough, while also showing some posts that are either harsher or hilarious in hindsight.

Next time we will however address one certain issue about our main character, that has been not directly addressed here. In the meantime, have a little fun video that shows hopefully how entertainment and a certain amount of comedy can be gained NOT via misery.

[harvestdew]

I love your character dynamic posts! Could you do one for cleo and sebastian or haley and Cleo?

aw thank you so much! i was struggling to pick which one to do but i'm gonna just do haley and cleo because i've been itching to flesh them out besides "haha prep goth gfs"

haley + cleo

cleo and haley are initially catty towards each other. they had a bad first meeting where cleo bumped into haley and made her drop her camera - which is a completely valid reason to be angry at someone, but cleo is a moody young adult who ran away so she doesn't say sorry

so before they were getting along haley just grit her teeth and pretended to be nice in front of kiki. cleo doesn't even try though even if her cousin gets on her case about it. otherwise, haley would toss insults or even her typical backhanded compliments. then cleo would get mad and start arguing with her for no reason in the town square. alex has probably made a comment like "you guys bicker like a married couple lol"

IDK how to explain how they started dating. it happens cuz i'm cheesy 😭 i took a little inspo from this one "to all the boys i've loved before" haley prompt. emily finds a box of letters that haley wrote to theoretically send to people she was into including alex (even when that crush is probably comphet), and sends them out. alex is about to confront haley about it and she can either a) have the most awkward conversation with alex or b) literally do anything but that. i figure alex is one of her closest friends if not one of her only ones so it's not really worth risking over what she thinks is gonna be her rejecting him? so when alex tries to say smthing to her about is and haley just lies and says "i'm going out with the new girl" hoping it'll deter him. the only reason why cleo agrees to this is because she hates alex, which is why she feels bad for haley pleading her case to her. it's not supposed to go on that long but haha 😳what if we were both girls and we pretended to date and then fell in love

fake dating period is awkward at first! they're forced to hang out with each other more to make it look like they're dating and for a bit it's like forcefully tolerating each other til haley gives in and says "we're just making ourselves more miserable" and they GUESS they have to know each other. it's kinda smug at first and they probably can't get through a single convo without scoffing at each other. but then it reaches a boiling point where they realize they have a lot more in common than they think

haley definitely catches feeling when she goes through pictures on her new camera, where she finds some she took of cleo and thinks "oh. shit lol"

somewhere along the way they do become friends. it's full of a lot of high-fiving to make fun of ppl, anticipating each other's needs, and hanging out with each other willingly and having fun w/o realizing. haley continues to mock cleo but more lovingly

that one pic of the girl sitting on the other girl and doing her makeup is them. that's it

cleo and haley don't trade clothes but cleo gives in and lets haley style her. haley is surprisingly good at understanding her style, but sometimes dresses her girlfriend up in shit she hates. in any other scenario she'd be peeved but she's okay with it if haley thinks she looks cute </3

cleo hates modeling and probably won't be working in the field anymore but models for haley and emily's clothing business for free. more generally, she grows accustomed to helping haley with her photography even if it means going to lengthy means to get exactly what haley wants. haley could spend 4 hours taking pictures on the beach and cleo would be passed out on the sand waiting for her

haley flicks kiki's head but cleo doesn't let haley do it to her. she does it to haley instead LOL (lovingly ofc)

haley is fine and maybe (?) even revels in pda because she likes bragging about her partner. cleo hates pda only because she doesn't like people in her business and feels like everything it happens she will implode

haley is super supportive of cleo being in sam's band even if she doesn't like the genre of music. she reminds me of knives in scott pilgrim fangirling over sex bob-omb and passing out from excitement. but definitely a supportive gf who wears band merch and unashamedly promotes her partner's band! haley is also the one who encourages her to get back into music and pitches the idea to sam to get cleo a new bass (she got upset and broke hers before coming to pelican town) as a gift :')

both are equally aggressive and overprotective of each other. it's hard to say which one is more since i do think cleo OR haley can usually handle themselves. but if haley is upset because of alex or someone cleo will go for the kill

and that's it :D there's probably more i'm remembering but thank u sm for the ask!

[lesbianlenas]

https //www thewrap com/supergirl-why-kelly-found-out-about-kara-off-screen/ jq and rr trying to defend their dumbassery by saying they didnt think we needed to see kellys reaction to learning kara is sg bc kelly wouldve been understanding and besides they already focused on reveal drama last year w sc so why do it again. like do they even hear themselves? they thought kelly being understanding wouldnt be interesting to watch but lex on trial for like 10 hours was? and they dont wanna redo plots? what do u call keeping lex around since s4? like just say ur homophobic AND sexist AND racist and go

lmfao as if we didn’t deserve to get to see a significant character moment for kelly/dansen just bc they were like eh it’s whatever. just bc they don’t care doesn’t mean their audience doesn’t but fr why don’t they make it more obvious that they only ever made alex a lesbian for progressive points and not bc they actually cared abt giving good representation to a sizable portion of their audience. would it have killed them to give kelly a moment to be her own character instead of a sounding board for other ppl’s sadness and to express her own feelings abt alex keeping a secret from her? perhaps being like shocked and asking “why didn’t you tell me” and alex explaining why & perhaps kelly sharing how she feels abt that? bc she is a person w emotions and feelings? but ultimately understanding and forgiving alex lol. and to say well we did it w kara and lena last season so whatever is so fucking stupid bc this would have drawn a good parallel to that to say hey maybe if kara had told lena sooner this is what would have happened instead. sg writers are too far up their asses w their horrifically done political commentary and plot points that they pat themselves on the back for to actually care abt their characters and certainly their black lesbian character lmfao. ✨transparency✨

[theartoflovingthomashunt]

dx: a Ticking Clock [AU]

Masterlists: [Thomas Hunt x Alex Spencer] [Ethan Ramsey x Ellie Shepherd] [Love & Scotch Crossover]

– – – Characters: Alex, Thomas Hunt, Ethan Ramsey, Ellie Shephard (OH: MC), Naveen Banerji, Baz Mirani, Zaid + other OH characters mentioned Prompt: fear @choicesoctoberchallenge2020 Word Count: +/- 1,400

TW: character death mentioned (same warnings as would apply to OH2 CH11)

Series Background: This takes place in my Hollywood U AU. Alex and Thomas are engaged. Ethan is an old friend whom the couple reconnected with recently. Alex is the biggest shipper of Ethan and Ellie(MC), and is thrilled Ethan finally took  her advice to do something about his feelings

Chapter Background: This takes place after Two Words (Thomas and Alex come to Boston to offer assistance during the crisis and support their friends) and at the same time as Never Let Go (Ethan spends the night with Ellie in quarantine)

Catch up on Love and Scotch

☆  ☆   ☆   ☆   ☆ 

The hallway hummed with the murmur of the doctors collaborating with only one goal in mind—saving Ellie and Rafael. The diagnostic’s office had become overrun with the number of hands that offered assistance. The conversations quickly became a cacophonous ruckus rather than a productive dialogue of possible solutions. They decided to split into groups, in the hope of exploring more ideas in less time by allowing greater opportunities for everyone’s ideas to be shared and tested. Naveen headed the team that remained in Ethan’s office. Tobias led the team stationed in the conference room. Both groups worked diligently, knowing that time was of the essence and a wasted minute could be all that stood in the way of saving their friends’ lives. 

It hadn’t taken Alex long to discover Ethan’s hidden stash of coffee and his secret espresso machine. She caught a whiff of the rich, but subtle notes of the premium blend tucked in the bottom drawer of a cabinet while tidying papers on his desk.

“We don’t touch that,” Baz noted, leaning against the bookshelf behind her. “Ethan doesn’t let anyone touch it. He will tell you he is a connoisseur and no one quite grasps the delicacies needed. He’ll trust us with patients but not his espresso machine.”

A smile played on her lips, the machine buzzed to life under her skilled touch. “Ethan may think he knows coffee, but it’s kind of my thing.”

“On your head be it.” Baz breathed out a soft, skeptical laugh. “When this is over, I’d quite like to see his reaction to you informing him he is not as wise to his coffee as he believes.”

Alex worked her magic setting the machine up and readying it for her first request. “Something like ‘you know nothing, Ethan Ramsey’.”

His hearty laugh overtook the somber tone of the room, even if just for the two of them. "Except, he really would know nothing because that reference would go over his head.”

“True! Anyway, I’m sure he won’t mind. After all, it’s for Ellie—” The words slipped out of her lips in a tone she worried said too much. “What I meant is, I’m sure he’d want his team to be well cared for and fueled to assist any member of the team that could find themselves in mortal peril. For the EMT too. And anyone, not just Ellie,” she rambled trying to cover up for any slip that may have occurred.

“It’s okay, I know.”

“You know?” The last part of the word lingered as Alex dragged it out questioningly.

“I know.” He nodded, quirking a brow at her.

“You know, as in you know?” Her chocolate brown eyes narrowed on him knowingly. 

“I know,” he reasserted, grinning proudly. 

“Do they know?”

“Ellie might. Ethan doesn’t.”

“How?”

A low laugh rumbled in his chest. “How can you not notice? They haven’t exactly mastered the subtleties of being in a secret relationship.”

“By they, you mean Ethan?” Alex grinned to herself. The first round of espresso shots began to drip, filling the office with a warm, inviting scent.

“It’s like you’ve met him!” He teased, the two of them giggled in the corner like schoolgirls sharing a juicy secret.

“I like you, Baz,” Alex decided. “So if Ethan throws a tantrum about me using his coffee machine, I won’t even blame you,” she teased. “Maybe your brother though.”

“As long as I’m there when you tell him.”

“Deal. Now, what can I make you?”

Ethan’s precious supply of premium beans dwindled as the hours passed, Alex kept everyone caffeinated and alert, while Hunt brought food and water to the weary doctors. With each glance to the ticking clock, the lines of worry etched on their tired faces grew deeper. 

***

Hunt’s hand clasped on the older doctor’s shoulders, jerking him to attention and pulling him from his thoughts. “You need rest, Naveen.” 

“I will when we’ve solved this puzzle.” His weary eyes fell once more to the research and medical charts scattered on the table in front of him.

“At least take a walk to clear your head,” Hunt suggested.

He shook his head side to side in contemplation. “I can’t. Not until I have an answer. Not until they’re safe.”

“Naveen, no one will fault you for taking a break. Everyone else has.”

“I will,” he insisted. “But not yet. If something were to happen while I was gone or if we were ten minutes too late because I took a break…” His voice quivered, unable to finish the thought as dread twisted in his gut. The color drained from his face at the possibility of them being too late. 

Hunt nodded in understanding, knowing there was nothing he could do to comfort the man before him.

“Not just because Ellie saved my life last year,” he lowered his voice, keeping the next part between them. “I don’t have any children, I have Ethan. He may yet think that love is a weakness, but it’s not. Whether he’s ready to admit to it or not, he needs her. I don’t know if he could survive losing her.”

“I know what you mean.” Hunt’s gaze fell to Alex busy across the room. “There are some people we’ll go to any length to save, no matter the cost.” His hand found Naveen’s shoulder again, offering a consoling gesture. “If there’s anything I can do.”

***

Ethan’s gloved hand glossed over her tousled, sweat-coated hair, being careful not to wake her. She had finally let sleep overtake her not too long ago, though he didn’t dare join her. Fighting his own exhaustion, he kept a steady gaze on the monitors ensuring no sudden decline in her vitals. 

Alex watched for a few moments, giving him time with her. Her eyes misted over; she’d never seen him so tender before. She recognized that look on his face, if only Ellie could see him now. Luckily for him, the entirety of the hospital was too busy determining a cure that they would be oblivious to the obvious connection between the two doctors in the room before her. 

Her finger lingered on the intercom button for what felt like an eternity. She spoke softly, “Can I get you anything?”

Ethan’s blue eyes shimmered like the glassy surface of the cool ocean. “Anything yet?”

She shook her head side to side. “Sorry.”

He gently rested the plastic shield of his protective suit against the top of her head. His lips pressed against the clear surface. “Hold on just a little bit longer, Ellie.”

Alex sniffled, the pads of her fingers collecting the tears before they could fall. She needed to be brave for him. 

Ethan shifted, inching away from her. “Will you stay with her? I can’t ask you to come in even with protection, but just stay there and let me know the minute she wakes or if any of her vitals change. I know a nurse can do it, but I’d rather it be you.”

“Of course, Ethan. Whatever you need. What will you be doing?”

His fingers hovered once more over her, tracing the length of her arm. “Finding a way to save her.”

“I’m proud of you,” she whispered, as he began the procedure to leave quarantine without spreading the contaminant. 

“What for?”

“You took a chance.”

His tone was harsher, “look how that turned out.”

“This is just a chapter, I can’t believe it’s the end,” she offered, glancing back to Ellie sleeping soundly. “Take the advice you gave her. ‘Just hold on a little bit longer’, you’ll save her. I have to believe it.”

Ethan offered a curt nod, leaving in silence, pausing only for a moment to glance back to Ellie lying helplessly in the small hospital bed.

Alex focused on the steady pulse of the monitors, watching and listening for even the slightest shift in the information. Her hand rested over her phone in her pocket ready to call Ethan within seconds if needed. 

Hunt’s arms snaked around her from behind, causing her body to shake at the unexpected contact. “Hi.”

“Hi, yourself.” Alex leaned into her fiancé, letting the warmth of his embrace calm her racing mind.

“How are you holding up?” His beard tingled against her skin as he brushed a kiss on her cheek.

She spun quickly, wrapping her arms around him. She leaned up on her tiptoes to bury her face in the crook of his neck. 

“I know.” His fingers combed through her dark hair. She didn’t need to say what was on her mind, he knew the weight of what was troubling her. “Just have faith in them. He’ll find a way, I know he will.”

“How can you be so sure?” Alex sniffled into his shirt collar.

“Because he loves her.”

☆  ☆   ☆   ☆   ☆

(tags in a reblog, trying that again to see if it makes any difference in my posts staying in search/tags)

[clumsyclifford]

hello bella’s ask box it’s been a min damn.

so the vibes are fucking everywhere w the music in the lab today so i’ve mostly been ignoring it but then unforgettable by thomas rhett started playing and my brain was immediately like This Is a Fic Song

more importantly it is a Bella Fic Song

last time you not so subtly wanted me to prompt u w w thomas rhett song you told me to do that here so i am back again w another song from ur boy

okay i def snuck out just to send this so i gotta go now but this felt important laksdjdld

ok ily bye 💛

hi sam :)

so.................... i was stuck on what to write you for your birthday fic. you sent me this ask prompting me with a thomas rhett song that i had literally been meaning to write a fic based on for almost a full year. the puzzle pieces just aligned REALLY nicely on this one.

happy birthday, my love. there's gonna be a LOT more sappy shit in the ao3 notes, but please know that my life is irreversibly changed for the better because i met you. i am dangerous close to sounding like glinda from wicked and i really want you to get to READ this fic so please see ao3 for more schmaltz. i love you so much.

tw for alcohol

read here on ao3

-

Every life has a moment that imprints on memory like ink on a fresh page. The kind of moment that permanently alters the trajectory of that life, that marks the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another. Some people are lucky enough to have more than one. Some people’s minds are laden with crystallized memories. But there’s always at least one. One completely unforgettable moment.

For Jack, this moment happens twenty-four minutes after he enters the club.

Twenty-three minutes after he enters the club, Zack returns with his and Jack's second beers and says, "There's some guy at the bar who's totally your type."

"Yeah?" Jack cranes his neck, but he can't quite see the bar from where he is. "My type how? Not just 'lonely and drunk,' right? My standards have gotten higher, you know."

Zack hands Jack his beer. "He's cute and he's wearing a One Direction shirt, and I'm pretty sure he's drinking a margarita.”

"Oh shit," Jack says. "That checks all my boxes."

"I know it does," says Zack, winner of the Wingman Of The Decade award. He claps Jack on the shoulder. Jack sidesteps people until he gets eyes on the bar and scans for a cute guy in a One Direction shirt drinking a margarita.

Twenty-four minutes after Jack enters the bar, he sees Alex.

And everything changes forever.

*

"Woah," Jack says. His gut is feeling weird and it’s probably unrelated to the beer and a half under his belt.

"What?"

"The guy at the bar," Jack says, grabbing Zack's arm. "Zack. You grossly undersold my future husband to me."

"Your future husband?" Zack sounds amused, but Jack isn't kidding.

"Remember this moment," he says seriously, giving Zack a sloppy pat on the bicep before moving away from him, towards the bar, towards the cute guy with the One Direction shirt who's making Jack understand clairvoyance. "Remember this so you can tell the story at our wedding!"

"Your wedding," Zack repeats.

"Our fucking wedding!" Jack insists, more loudly as space and drunk people fill the growing gap between him and Zack. Zack just gives him a good-luck-and-godspeed wave.

Seconds later, Jack is at the bar.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

The cute guy in question looks up, surprised. Jack practically reels. It's a miracle people aren't flocking to this guy; he's not just cute, he's gorgeous. Bleach-blond hair — clearly from a bottle, which somehow Jack finds more attractive — flops over his forehead in a stubborn commitment to the emo fringe that died out a decade ago, and long lashes frame brown eyes that rival the glossy chestnut color of the bar. Add the five o'clock shadow and the sharply angled jaw and Jack's speechless.

Fortunately it's not his turn to speak. "I have a drink," says the guy, who is rapidly progressing from Cute Guy At Bar to Possible Soulmate At Bar. He quirks a smile. Jack's done for. "I'll buy you a drink, though."

Jack sets his partially-drunk beer on the bar top and slides it as far as he can reach. "Okay," he says.

Possible Soulmate laughs. He slides his margarita away from him, too, pushing it into the space of another person sitting down the bar. "Touché. Okay, you can buy me a drink."

"Well, hey, I don't want you to waste yours," Jack says reasonably. He retrieves his beer and then Possible Soulmate's drink. "I'll get the next one."

Possible Soulmate smiles. Jack is going to need his name eventually. "I appreciate your commitment to environmentally-friendly consumption of alcohol."

Jack blinks. "Yeah," he says. "That was a lot of big words, but sure. No problem. I'm Jack, by the way."

"Alex." Alex. Jack can see the wedding invites now.

"Nice to meet you," Jack says. "I like your shirt."

Alex glances down out of instinct as the wide collar of the shirt slips over his shoulder. "Thanks," he says with a chuckle, and looks up at Jack. "I like yours."

With great effort, Jack tears his gaze from Alex's shoulder and the hint of collarbone peeking out, but he would like it on the record that it is tremendously difficult. Fortunately he already knows what shirt he's wearing because he'd agonized over it for several minutes longer than Zack's patience ran, shortly before going out.

"Yeah, Kurt Cobain," he says, nodding with probably too much enthusiasm. "I'm a lead singer guy."

"Really?" Alex tilts his head and raises an eyebrow. "Meaning what?"

"I go for the lead singer types," Jack explains. "Kurt Cobain, Billie Joe Armstrong, you know." He nods at Alex's shirt. "Harry Styles."

"Harry Styles wasn't—" Alex breaks off and snorts. "Eh, whatever. Who cares."

"Wait," Jack says. "Hold the phone. Did you fucking cross out Zayn's face?"

Alex looks down at his shirt again like maybe he'll have forgotten what it looks like. "Oh, my friend did that. But now the shirt is factually accurate."

"If you wanted an accurate shirt you'd have to cross them all out since none of them are in the band anymore," Jack observes.

Alex slowly smiles. "I guess."

"I always liked Zayn," Jack says wistfully. "His solo shit is so good, though."

"It's good," Alex says, kind of in the tone of voice of someone who doesn't really agree but doesn't want to get into it, so Jack leaves it be. They can poll their wedding guests. "I'm really digging Niall's solo shit."

"That's an extremely acceptable answer," Jack says, nodding vigorously. In the moment it slips his mind that he's holding a beer and the liquid begins to slosh out of its container. "Oh shit, fuck, sorry."

"Didn't get me," Alex says, passing Jack a napkin. "Couple too many, I get it."

"What?" Jack is very focused on drying his hands so they don't get sticky and gross. "I'm not drunk."

Alex laughs. "Yeah, right."

"I'm not!"

"Okay," Alex says lightly, but it's clear he doesn't believe Jack. On the bright side, he doesn't seem bothered by it.

"I am acceptably drunk for a guy in his mid-twenties at a club,” Jack amends. "And you owe me a drink anyway."

"Hey, I intend to buy you that drink," Alex says earnestly. "Another beer?"

Jack shakes his head. "Vodka soda," he says. "It's a special occasion."

"Really! You celebrating something?"

"I am now," Jack says. "Celebrating meeting my future husband."

"Your future husband?"

"You," Jack says, in case it wasn't clear. "It's not every day you meet the man you're gonna marry. I think it calls for a celebratory vodka soda."

Alex stares, obviously expecting Jack to say sike! When Jack does no such thing, he gives a small, incredulous laugh.

"Fair enough," he says. He sounds like he's humoring Jack. That's okay. Jack is serious, but Alex will figure that out on his own time. "I guess you're not wrong. That doesn't happen every day."

A large shadow materializes on Alex's other side, blocking light like some very cliché movie villain. It's not Doc Ock, but it is some tall, burly guy, a leer affixed to his face that's probably been there since Alex's haircut went out of style.

"Hey, baby," he says in an unnervingly deep voice. The part of Jack that isn't super skeezed out is a little jealous. But Burly Guy isn't talking to Jack; Jack may as well be invisible. To Alex, Burly Guy says, "Saw you across the bar and I just had to come over."

Didn't have to, Jack thinks grumpily to himself. You could have stayed across the bar. If you walk away now we’ll pretend we never saw you.

"Can I get you a drink?" Burly Guy asks, and honestly, Jack has no idea what Alex is going to say.

Big Burly Guy with a deep voice a la Morgan Freeman vs. resident beanstalk Jack whose voice sounds like a rejected cartoon character design. What a tough choice.

Jack is just preparing to cut his losses when Alex grabs Jack's wrist, turns to him, and says, "Honey? What do you think?"

Jack's tipsy, but Alex is definitely communicating something with his eyes, and between that and the pet name Jack is pretty sure he's on the same page.

"You want to buy my boyfriend a drink?" Jack asks Big Burly Guy, cranking up the Bitchy energy because he doesn't get to do it a lot and it's kinda fun. His voice has definitely gone vaguely southern-auntie, but he's rolling with it. "Sorry, sugar, this seat's taken. Must be this guy" — he points at himself — "to ride."

"This guy?" Burly Guy echoes, furrowing his eyebrows at Jack and then looking at Alex with profound confusion, like he just doesn't get it. "You're with this guy?"

"Happily," Alex says, glancing back at Jack, who offers him what is definitely a convincingly enamored smile because Jack is legitimately enamored. Alex laces their fingers together and Jack's not delusional, can't be, not when they fit this well together. No way. "So I'm gonna pass on that drink. Sorry, man. No hard feelings."

Burly Guy seems to have some hard feelings. Maybe he didn't get the memo. "Whatever," he says gruffly. "Your loss."

Jack can't resist countering, "Actually it's your loss, sweetums," as Burly Guy retreats. If he dies tonight, he knows who’s responsible.

As soon as he's gone, Alex breaks down laughing, and Jack quickly follows suit. Alex's hand slips from Jack's and begins to tug at the ends of his own hair instead.

"Sugar?"

"I don't know what happened," Jack says/wheezes. "I became possessed by Blanche from Golden Girls.”

"You have to be" — Alex prods Jack's chest — "this guy to ride." He dissolves into giggles and Jack is laughing too but mostly because Alex's laugh is incredibly contagious.

"Look, I don't blame him," Jack says, feeling exhilarated. "You are the best-looking guy in this establishment. He just happened to have creepo vibes."

"I am not the best-looking guy in this establishment," Alex says, grinning at Jack. "Nice of you to say, though."

"Hey, I'm serious!"

"I thought you were Jack."

Jack stares at Alex and Alex doesn't even last a second before he's breaking down laughing yet again.

I'm going to marry you, Jack thinks, and it almost scares him how serious he is about that. He opens his mouth and says, "That wasn't even— that's not even one of the good dad jokes! That's the most boring one!"

"There is no such thing as a boring dad joke."

"You should go into stand-up," Jack says dryly. "You'd tear down the house with this set. I can see it now." He waves a grandiose hand in the air as if painting the marquee into existence, but when he goes to introduce the act he realizes he's missing most of the crucial information. "Alex…something…something. Austin, Texas, one night only."

"Gaskarth," Alex says. "That's my last name."

"Alex Something Gaskarth," Jack loyally amends, and gives Alex a look like, well?

Except Alex is giving Jack that same look. "I only know your first name and you expect me to tell you my full one?"

"Jack Bassam Barakat," Jack says, gesturing impatiently. "Come on, I'm trying to introduce your act here."

"Guess," Alex says.

"Guess?"

"It's a pretty basic middle name," Alex says. "I'll buy you your vodka soda when you guess it."

"Alex," Jack says. "I am not going to guess your middle name. I am so bad at these games and I'm fucking drunk."

"Quitter," Alex says. "Do you want your drink?"

Jack scowls, trying to channel Blanche again, but Alex is apparently immune.

"Give me a hint," he finally concedes.

"It's a British name," Alex says. “Pretty standard British.”

"Are you British?”

Alex nods. "Born and raised. Moved here when I was about…eight? But I'm not an American citizen. I have a green card."

Yet another reason they should be married. Jack could extend his citizenship to Alex. Plus he'd gain British citizenship, which would probably be useful for, like, travel or One Direction stalking or whatever.

"That's sick," Jack says. "I was born in Lebanon. We moved when I was a baby."

"That's so cool," Alex says, sounding genuinely interested. He props his chin on his hand and gives Jack a cheeky smile. "Now guess."

Jack sighs. "Uh, Charles."

"No."

"Darcy."

"Darcy?"

"Margaret."

"Jack."

"You said it's a British name!"

"A British man's name," Alex says, rolling his eyes in fond exasperation.

Jack takes a long pull from his beer, swallows, and says, "Harry."

"No."

They're going to be here awhile. Jack pulls out the seat next to Alex and settles in while he racks his brain for British names.

*

“Alfred.”

“Nope.”

“John.”

“No.”

“Paul.”

“No.”

“George.” Alex shakes his head. “Ringo.”

“Yup, you finally got it,” Alex says. Jack is over the moon for a split second before it sinks in that Alex is fucking with him. “Alex Ringo Gaskarth. Well done.”

“Fuck off, I’m doing my best here,” Jack says.

“You’re missing one incredibly obvious name,” Alex says. “It’s not that hard.”

“For you,” Jack says. “Because you already know it.” Alex is grinning. Jack likes that he’s enjoying himself. It makes this guessing game fun. Under any other circumstances, this guessing game would not be fun, but Alex makes it fun.

Alex has also finished his mango margarita by now, and Jack’s beer is long since empty. He’s itching for another drink, mainly for something to do with his hands.

As if reading his mind, Alex flags down the bartender, who sidles up with a small smile and says, “What can I get you boys?”

Jack blinks at her. Mostly at her accent, which is not American.

“Vodka soda,” Alex says. To Jack, “I think you’ve earned it.” Jack smiles.

“And a mango margarita,” he puts in to the bartender, “and are you British?”

The bartender looks amused. “I am British,” she says.

“Please help me,” Jack says. “Alex says his middle name is a British name and I cannot for the life of me figure out what it fucking is.”

“Jack, the nice bartender lady has other things to do,” Alex says with a laugh. The nice bartender lady probably does have other things to do, but she shifts her weight and gives Alex an appraising look instead.

“Harry?”

“Tried that,” Jack says, realizing at once that this is a pointless endeavor. The nice bartender lady is going to guess everything Jack’s already guessed and he’ll just have wasted her time. “I’ve tried every member of One Direction, every member of the Beatles, every member of Oasis, every Harry Potter character, every member of the Royal Family—”

At this, Alex coughs conspicuously.

Jack rounds on him. “I have.”

“Edward,” the bartender offers. Alex’s lips are pressed together in a smile and he shakes his head. “Meghan. Kate. Richard. Dick. Philip.”

A lightbulb goes off as the bartender is listing Royal Family names. Jack wants to kick himself. “Oh my— William?”

“Yeahhhh, there you go! See, it was easy,” Alex says, grinning widely.

“William,” the bartender repeats with a charming little laugh. Her lipstick is bright with clean lines, an impressive feat considering Jack has seen her bustling around this bar for almost an hour now. “I had an ex called William.”

“Oh no,” Alex says. “I hope he didn’t ruin the name for you.”

“Please,” the bartender says, waving him off. “The only thing he ruined for me was a few meters of drywall.” Jack and Alex must have twin looks of concern, because she explains, “Anger issues. No worries, boys, I sent him packing, and a vodka soda for you, and a mango marg for you.”

She slides their drinks into waiting hands and starts to turn away. “Wait a sec,” Jack says.

The bartender turns back to him with wide Bambi eyes. “Did I fuck up the drink? I’ve made it a million—”

“No no no,” Jack assures her. “I just wanted to know your name. You rescued me from an eternal guessing game, you’re my hero.”

The bartender smiles and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Maisie,” she says. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, Maisie,” Alex says. “Thank you for the alcohol.”

Maisie laughs again as she moves to the other side of the bar.

“William,” Jack says, swirling his drink with the miniature straw. “God damn. I can’t believe I missed William.”

“You got close,” Alex says. “You guessed Liam twice. And thanks for the drink.”

“Same to you,” Jack says. “It’s a good drink. Yours, I mean. You know what offends me, though? Why aren’t mango margaritas orange?”

Alex furrows his brow. “Why the fuck would they be orange?”

“Mangos are orange! Fruity drinks should be the same color as their fruit.”

“Mangos are not fucking orange,” Alex says with an incredulous laugh. “They’re straight-up yellow.”

“They’re orange with yellow tendencies,” Jack says, “but mostly orange.”

“They are entirely yellow,” Alex says. “Coldplay even wrote a song about them. They were all yellow.”

“They’re orange,” Jack insists, but now Alex has moved on completely and is loudly singing Coldplay.

“I came along! I wrote a song foooor youuuuu! And all the things you do!”

“You’re ignoring the truth!”

“And it was called ‘Yellow’!” Alex shouts.

“Okay, I surrender! Sheesh. You win.”

“Thank you,” Alex says placidly, like he hasn’t just been yelling obnoxiously over the (worse, but much louder) club music. “I’m going to enjoy my yellow mango marg very much.”

“And I will enjoy my victory drink,” Jack says, lifting his glass. Alex lifts his. It smells like mango and tequila. They clink the rims together. “To William.”

“To William,” Alex agrees, laughing.

*

The DJ plays a song Jack loves to hate from hearing it on the radio so many times and Alex is out of his seat before Jack’s managed to put down his drink.

“What are—”

“I love this song, I want to dance,” Alex insists. The implication is clearly that he wants Jack to dance with him, which is like. What is Jack gonna do, say no?

Alex must anticipate some kind of argument, though, because with a glint in his eye he adds lightly, “These are the kinds of things you’ll have to do if we’re married.”

On the one hand, he’s clearly making fun. But on the other hand, the fact that Alex was a stranger an hour ago and is still comfortable teasing Jack about suggesting they’re going to get married speaks volumes. Alex is smiling. They’ve known each other for less than an hour — a drink and a half each — and Alex is smiling at his own joke about marrying Jack. Like he likes that Jack said it first. Like he likes Jack.

“Just wait ‘til you learn all the weird shit you’ll have to do when we’re married,” Jack says, sliding out of his stool.

Any sane person would have run away by now. Even Jack knows when he’s coming on too strong.

But Alex does the opposite; Alex grabs his wrist and pulls him towards the dance floor.

“Fair warning,” Alex says. “I don’t actually know how to dance.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Jack says, and then eats his words not two seconds later when Alex demonstrates how very much he doesn’t know how to dance. All of his limbs seem to move as their own entities, zero synchronization. A couple surrounding people take various minor assaults before taking the hint and giving Alex some space, but this does not stop him. “Okay,” Jack says loudly over the music. “You were right. But luckily neither do I.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Alex says.

Jack does the sprinkler. Alex snorts. He does the wave, very poorly, and Alex continues it, also very poorly.

“Mr. Moves,” Alex says. “I’m impressed.”

“Yeah? Check this one out.” Jack does the running man with extreme focus. Alex laughs, leaning towards Jack as he does. Jack stops dancing so he doesn’t accidentally hit Alex, who is suddenly much closer and who somehow smells like pine and flannel and fall and winter in one and is the best-looking person in blue jeans and checkered Vans on this dance floor. Far from the only person, but without question the prettiest.

Fuck.

“I don’t think I can do that one,” says Alex, grinning. Jack nods at him like, try it, so Alex does, proving himself right. He almost takes Jack’s eye out.

“Yeesh, okay, you’re— alright, take it easy,” Jack says, swatting Alex’s wayward hand away and laughing. “Well, we all have our strengths.”

Surrendering the running man, Alex starts up with some bizarre hand-wavey foot-kicky thing, singing along to the music.

“Do you seriously like this song?” Jack asks, attempting to imitate Alex’s dance. “Dance,” heavy quote marks implied.

Alex shoots Jack a look. “Hell yeah. What, you don’t?”

“It’s just…always on,” Jack says. “Everywhere. How are you not sick of it?”

“Because it fuckin’ slaps!” Alex looks incensed.

“I don’t know why I’m surprised you’re a pop music person when you’re literally in a One Direction shirt.”

“I’m a lots of music person,” Alex counters. “Including pop music, yeah. You don’t like pop music?”

“I sometimes do,” Jack says. “I like Taylor Swift. Britney Spears.”

“Okay, well, you’d have to be insane not to like them.”

“Yeah, and I’m obviously sane.”

Alex barks a laugh. “Drunk but sane.”

“I am not drunk!” That’s probably a lie by now.

“You’re not convincing me otherwise,” Alex says. “I’m confident you’ve been drunk this whole time.”

“You haven’t exactly been an innocent bystander,” Jack says. “You bought me a drink, and you’re gonna buy us shots in a minute.”

“I did— I what?”

“Yeah,” Jack says, and this time he drags Alex off the dance floor, back to the bar. “I can see the future, I forgot to tell you.”

“You—” Alex laughs again and leans on the bar, trapping both his elbows between his stomach and the bartop. “You’re buying the next round.”

“Oh, happily,” Jack says. “I’m actively trying to get you drunk.”

“Why’s that?”

“Studies show I am 75% more attractive to people when they’re drunk,” says Jack.

Alex turns to him. Without missing a beat, he says smoothly, “I don’t think it’s possible for you to get any more attractive.”

Fuck. Actually, fuck. Seriously. Fuck.

“You must be drunk already, then,” Jack says.

Alex smiles serenely. “I feel pretty sober.”

“Exactly what a drunk person would say,” Jack says. “J’accuse, William.”

Alex laughs. “In that case, your studies are right.”

Jack’s probably blushing. He does that in extreme cases only, but this is nothing if not an extreme case. Alex is fucking relentless.

Maisie the bartender is back, and Alex orders them shots of tequila. Somewhere in the recesses of Jack’s mind, this unlocks a memory, and he snaps his fingers. “I should hunt down my friend, he loves tequila.”

“Friend?” Alex looks around while Maisie pours their shots. “You ditched your friend?”

“He told me to,” Jack says. “He’s probably gonna pick up some girl. Actually, he probably already has.”

“Really,” Alex says, sounding amused.

“Zack’s a strong silent type,” Jack explains. “Emphasis on strong. We’re single guys in our mid-twenties, Alex. We’re not going to clubs for the atmosphere.”

“Admit it,” Alex says. “You a little bit are.”

Jack bites his lip. “Fine, I like the atmosphere,” he admits, more affected than he should be that Alex seems to have picked up on this about him. “And the alcohol. And the chances I’ll meet my future husband, which clearly paid off. Zack will never admit it, but I’m pretty sure he likes trying to set me up with random people in clubs.”

Alex laughs. “He set you up with me?”

“Oh yeah,” Jack says. “He wingmanned me hard. You can thank him in your vows.”

This only serves to make Alex laugh harder. “I’ll thank him now,” he says with a grin. Taking his cue, Jack grabs his shot glass. Alex does the same. “To Zack.”

“To Zack!” Jack cheers, and they both down their shots.

“Me?”

Jack whirls around and trips straight into Zack. “Zack!” he says brightly. “We toasted you.”

“I heard,” Zack says. “Why, exactly?”

“I’m Alex,” says Alex, holding out a hand. Zack shakes it. “Apparently you set us up?”

“Oh,” Zack says. “I wouldn’t really say that. I just kind of pointed Jack in this direction. If you can put up with him, that’s all you.”

“I was gonna come find you anyway,” Jack says. “We’re doing tequila shots. Next round on me.”

“Oh, hell yeah,” Zack says. “Count me in.”

They can’t come up with a toast for their second round so they just knock it back with an ambiguous cheer; then Zack offers to buy another, and Jack’s not about to refuse. It’s starting to hit just right, so he’s buzzed but not incoherent. All his most brilliant ideas come in this state.

Case in point: as Maisie is pouring them their third round, Jack suddenly says, “Maisie! Do a shot with us!”

Maisie looks up and laughs. “I’m not supposed to drink on the job,” she says.

“It’s not drinking, it’s bonding,” Jack insists.

“Yeah, we’re forming lasting friendships,” Alex jumps in.

Zack looks entertained. “You guys know each other?”

“As of half an hour ago, yes,” Maisie says.

“Maisie here helped me guess Alex’s middle name,” Jack explains. “Which is William. Like the prince.”

“I feel like I missed so much,” Zack says, half to himself. He shrugs and nods at Maisie. “One shot. On me. For Jack. We won’t tell.”

Maybe it’s because Zack is buff and has cool tattoos or just has good vibes or whatever, but Maisie hesitates only a second before inclining her head. “Just one, and no blabbing,” she says, meeting all of their eyes in turn. Everyone nods solemnly, and Maisie discreetly pours herself a fourth shot.

“Hell yes!” Jack whoops as they all take a shot glass. “To Maisie!”

“To Maisie!” Everyone echoes, including Maisie with a wry grin.

The third shot goes down smoother than the first two. Jack swallows his easily, as does Alex. Maisie puckers her face a bit. Zack has zero reaction, because Zack’s just kinda like that.

“While I’m here, I was hoping to get another beer,” Zack says.

“On it,” Maisie says immediately, giggling. “Thanks for the shot, boys. You’ve kept me far more entertained tonight than my usual shift provides.”

“You can give a toast at our wedding,” Jack says to her. Zack’s eyes widen a little, Alex snorts, and Maisie laughs.

“I’d be honored,” she says. “Back to work now. You need anything, let me know.”

“Seriously, Jack?”

“What?” Jack gives Zack an innocent smile. He pats Zack on the cheek. “Don’t worry, sugar, you can give a toast too.”

Alex laughs. Zack stares at him and shakes his head. “You’re insane,” he says, but he says that roughly twice a day so he’s still below his quota. “I’ll leave you two alone. Come find me when you wanna go. If…” He eyes Alex. “...Just…yeah.”

And with these eloquent words, he disappears with his beer into the crowd.

“I like him,” Alex announces.

“Me too,” Jack says. He turns back to Alex. “Back to the dance floor?”

“Get out of my brain,” Alex says. “I’d like to see your drunken running man.”

“It is gonna blow your fucking mind,” Jack promises, and Alex laughs again.

*

They’re not even being gross like everyone else. Alex has pulled Jack into an exaggerated tango performed mostly with missteps when it happens: someone shoves them aside as they walk past, and Alex loses his balance and falls into Jack, who just barely manages to catch them both. He doesn’t manage to stop his arm from winding around Alex’s waist. To be fair, he doesn’t try very hard.

Jack’s first thought is homophobe, but then he spots the offender, lumbering off with heavy footfalls, and it’s Burly Guy from earlier. The guy who tried and failed to pick Alex up.

All of this registers as Alex slowly regains his footing. “Damn, who pissed in that dude’s Cheerios?”

“It’s the guy from before who tried to buy you a drink,” Jack says, pointing at his back.

Alex whips his head around. “Seriously? Asshole.”

Jack chooses not to observe that from his vantage point, being shoved close together is hardly a dick move. In intent, sure, but not in actuality; Jack’s enjoying the proximity a great deal. Like, a lot.

Like, his hand is still on Alex’s hip, subtly keeping Alex close, and Alex has his arm around Jack’s shoulders from their dance and he’s not moving, either.

“Yeah,” Jack says. They’d already been on the outskirts and now they’re off to the side of everyone, wallflowers.

Alex breathes a laugh and looks back at Jack. He doesn’t step back or even lean away, even though their faces are too close to be friendly now. Jack hadn’t really been expecting friendly, but they’ve been tightrope-walking between sides, and if neither of them breaks this up then they’ll be irreversibly left on one end.

Jack has no intention of moving away. He likes this end of the tightrope. For all he cares, they could cut the tightrope and free-fall together.

“You’re pretty good at bad tango-ing,” Alex says, reaching up to brush away the sweaty fringe that’s clinging to his forehead.

Jack grins. “Well, you know what they say. It takes two.”

Alex kisses him so suddenly that Jack almost loses his balance.

*

He tastes like tequila. That’s all Jack gets before they’re not kissing anymore. The room feels quiet and then unforgivably loud the next second, and Alex is flushed and smiling nervously, and Jack is smiling too, not nervous at all.

“Did I tell you I’m in a band?” Alex asks in a rush.

Jack’s brain struggles to keep up. He can’t remember Alex mentioning a band, but he’s also distracted by wanting to kiss Alex again. There’s no understating the power of wanting to kiss someone over failing to clock anything they say. “What?”

“I’m in a band,” Alex says. “Not as a job, just like, for fun.”

“Oh,” says Jack.

“I’m the lead singer,” Alex says, with a flickering look down at Jack’s shirt.

“Oh,” says Jack, because, like, oh. “Can I kiss you again?”

“What, here?” Alex meets his eyes. “With all these people around?”

“You kissed me first,” Jack says. “Let me kiss you and then we can call it even.”

“Okay,” Alex says, and Jack’s kissing him before the word’s really out of his mouth.

And he tastes like tequila and mango and sugar and the color yellow and the sweat of the dance floor and God, it’s good. It’s like kissing a memory, except this memory is still here, not frozen in time, not trapped in an ornate frame. He’s creating a memory that he knows he’ll relive for the rest of his life.

Somehow, though he doesn’t know the end of this chapter, he knows the end of the book.

Alex’s warm palm cradling Jack’s cheek to hold him steady, fingers splayed out like a star; Alex’s other hand grazing skin over the collar of Jack’s shirt. Alex singing Coldplay in Jack’s ear. Alex’s blue jeans and his checkered Vans and his ridiculous One Direction tank top. Alex holding Jack’s hand and calling him honey to get Burly Guy to leave him alone. Grinning as he shoots down guess after guess for the elusive middle name. Laughing at Jack’s stupid dance moves. Knocking back a shot like it’s nothing. Smiling when Jack says they’re going to get married, never moving away, only ever closer.

Alex sitting undisturbed at the bar, ankles crossed, and Jack seeing him from across the room like something out of a goddamn Hallmark movie and just knowing.

He tugs Alex closer but Alex is already pulling away with a smile. “You wanna get out of here?”

“Yeah,” Jack says. He smoothes a hand over a crease in Alex’s shirt and nods. “Taxi’s on me if we go back to your place.”

“Sucker, I was gonna suggest that anyway,” Alex says with a quiet laugh. “You should tell Zack. Don’t wanna just leave him.”

“Don’t worry,” Jack says. “He knows.”

“He knows?”

“Zack and I are brothers in clairvoyance,” Jack says. “How many times do I have to tell you this?”

“I knew you could see the future,” Alex says. “You never told me Zack could, too.”

“Zack can see everyone’s future,” says Jack. “I can only see mine.”

“Yeah? What’s your future look like now?”

Jack filters out several inappropriate comments. It’s hard when Alex is smirking, clearly baiting him. “I told you,” he says. “You, me, vows, rings, the works.”

“Not that future,” Alex says. “I’m talking about the immediate one.”

It takes everything in Jack not to get down on one knee and say so was I. There’s a tilt in Alex’s head, like a dog listening carefully for a familiar sound.

“Honestly?” Jack says, and Alex nods. “I think it’s more fun if we find out together.”

[zalrb]

hi! same anon from before, hahah. first of all thank u so much for answering - i'm a big steve mcqueen fan too and i was wondering if you were ever interested in reviewing your favourite mcqueen movies? a few words for each kinda thing. i love your movie reviews because way more often than not, i find myself agreeing with you and you seem to find the exact right words. of course, it's merely a request you don't *have* to take seriously.i hope u have a great day!

OK so here is my list, starting from favourite to least favourite. The only feature film of his that I haven’t seen is Hunger.

What I will say are general Steve McQueen characteristics that I like about all of the movies is the fact that his films require patience and attention. If I’m tired or not really in the mood to devote my focus but I want to watch something, I’m not putting on a Steve McQueen film. I want to be fully present. His work demands that. I appreciate that.

I have also come to respect that there are what you would consider holes in his movies. Like we don’t really know anything about Brandon’s backstory in Shame, we know his sister says that they come from a bad place but we don’t know what that place is and the movie doesn’t find it necessary to divulge that information. Widows has a lot of loose ends that a typical heist movie may at least attempt to sort out but I don’t think McQueen really concerns himself with those details, he concerns himself with the emotional present and he concerns himself with the present to such an intimate and almost unbearable degree that it can make you flinch and cringe as a viewer because it’s uncomfortable to kind of stew in emotional truth like that, it’s uncomfortable to stew in the present that way.

There is an artistry and a poetry to his movies, it reminds me of paintings and I can say without irony or without being corny or without being pretentious, that these movies really do examine the human condition, do deep dives into emotion or deep dives into emotions that a particular event or issue would bring about.

1. Lovers Rock

I love this movie for so many different reasons. It means so much to me as a woman of Jamaican descent to see an ode to Caribbean party culture in the diaspora

and even though it’s in London and even though it was in the 80s, there is so much overlap in Canada, it was basically like a spiritual experience watching this movie and on twitter, there was so much outpour of gratitude and feeling seen by Caribbean Canadians, it was like a whole moment, so this movie makes me super emotional.

Like this scene, where they yell “Jah!” “Rastafari!” it got me in my chest and I had never experienced feeling so seen in film before because it’s specifically Caribbean, in this case Jamaican, and what I usually see is African American or movies from the Continent and this was diasporic and it was Caribbean

But what I also love about it is that even though it takes place over one night, it’s a love story between two young dark-skinned Black people and it’s handled with the kind of grace and beauty and weight that I like in my love stories, like it’s not Atonement, it’s not POTC, but it’s this culturally specific courting and coming together and it’s super sweet and just very nice

2. Alex Wheatle

There is this scene in this movie that is excruciating to me in its simplicity and it’s one of McQueen’s techniques or choices. So this installation in Small Axe is about Alex Wheatle who is an author and in the beginning we see his life in an orphanage and how he’s abused and ridiculed and how as a child he would be thrown in a room for hours just lying on his side

Then we get to him as an adult and we see the way the police harass Black youth and they take Alex throw him in the back of their van and he’s bloodied and beaten and he’s just lying on his side for hours. And I cried because that callback to his childhood was so brutal to me even though we don’t see excessive violence onscreen, it was just him lying on his side like when he was a kid and how systems upon systems are failing him and failing Black children, Black people and I didn’t need that spelled out for me, I just needed to see him lying on his side for minutes. And that’s kind of the power of McQueen’s directing/storytelling to me?

Another reason I really like Alex Wheatle - and the Small Axe anthology as a whole - is showcasing Black history in other countries

and it’s a great story about identity and figuring out your history, your roots, where you come from and how it informs you

3. 12 Years A Slave

I didn’t know if I was going to watch 12 Years A Slave or not, I kind of make it a point not to watch movies about enslavement now and I haven’t seen a movie about enslavement since (I did watch the show Underground though). What I love about this movie is how it examines the human condition, how it examines resilience, how it examines the soul, really, through many of the characters but particularly Solomon. It’s that unflinching portrayal of emotion and the present that really stuck out to me. And also again some of McQueen’s choices, like when they’re on the slave ship, for a lot of it we don’t see inside, we see the rudders

but that inspired such dread in me? We see the trees a lot.

We see the setting. We see the environment and that just adds a whole other layer, Lupita Nyong’o spoke about that when filming, about just thinking about the trees and what they witnessed. But I watched it, I didn’t cry until the third act then I wouldn’t stop crying then I pulled myself together and a week later, my roommate was playing it in her room and I could hear it and I was trying to write for workshop and it was just the score that I could hear and I got so emotional I had to ask her to put her earphones in so I could work.

4. Education

This installment of Small Axe was again an educational one for me (pun intended) because I know the ways in which the education system in my country and in my province and in my city fail Black children and I know enough about how that happens in the States, I didn’t know so much about how it happened in England and this was very illuminating for me without it taking on the tone of a docu. There is this scene that is just so uncomfortable to watch because it’s long and it’s boring and it’s irritating and that’s exactly what you’re supposed to feel because you’re supposed to feel exactly what the characters would feel in those moments:

Education also has a scene where we hear an entire song, but it’s deliberately not fun, when the teacher torments all the kids with his acoustic version of “House of the Rising Sun.” Why that song? That happened with me!

Oh my god. The teacher brought in his guitar, and he started to strum. We’re this captive audience. That was it. But it’s interesting, about that sequence. Because it’s funny, and then it gets irritating, and then you get bored. You have to go through boredom to get to the other side of it, and then you get to something else. And then there’s another understanding of it. So it had to play out that way, in real time.

and you know by the end, the movie explores how to engage children, how to encourage children, how to advocate for children and the different ways you can educate children so it’s an optimistic movie and I appreciated that

5. Widows

My second best experience at TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival) was watching Widows. TIFF screenings tend to be very quiet. But there’s a scene in Widows where after the protagonists (four women) do the work and get the money, Daniel Kaluuya watches them, holds them at gunpoint and takes the money, then leaves in his car. Then you’re with him in this car and he’s feeling good about himself and he’s laughing and he’s listening to this speech his brother makes then you see another car gain on him, run into him and it’s the protagonists and they take their money back and the entire theatre cheered and clapped and it was awesome. And that is the type of “girl power” scenes I like that aren’t “girl power” scenes? Where it’s just this man thought he could take what he wanted from these women and leave and they were like ummmmmmm?

I would say Widows is McQueen’s most commercial movie and it still doesn’t read very commercial and unfortunately Liam Neeson is in it but again I like the choices he made, I like that when Colin Farrell’s character is going on this racist rant in his car, we see the exterior of the car with his dialogue as a voiceover.

I like how controlled and tight the direction is and how throughout the movie I was on the edge of my seat in a different way, I was just tense until it was all over. It was also interesting watching his direction with Gillian Flynn’s screenplay interact with each other.

I had issues with this movie, mainly one moment which is when Alice, who is white, slaps Veronica (Viola Davis) -- Veronica slaps Alice first but Alice is a character who has been abused and who has been controlled by the men in her life, by her mother and she’s finding independence and so she exerts that by slapping Veronica back and I just thought there were other ways to show that.

6. Red, White and Blue

Another installment of Small Axe. My first husband stars in it and won a GG for it

and has this gem in it

It’s a good representation of what it looks like trying to right a system from the inside, since this is about Leroy Logan who became a police officer and ended up policing the neighbourhood he grew up in and how he was trying to be a positive change in the environment and in the police force and the racism he experienced as an officer

7. Mangrove

The first installment of Small Axe. To be quite honest I wanted to like Mangrove more than I did. It’s Steve McQueen so it’s a good movie, although the accents had some Trini people I know be like mmmmmmmmmmmmno, and again it’s also an educational movie because you learn about the Mangrove restaurant which was a Caribbean restaurant and hub for the community and for artists and authors and the police saw it as a threat so they constantly harassed the costumers and did raids and did everything in their power to shut it down.

And there are some great lines in this movie, I was most compelled when it became a courtroom drama, because that was some masterful directing

8. Shame

Shame was definitely uncomfortable for me to watch haha and it’s interesting because there were reviews that were like the title doesn’t match what we see because are we really expected to believe that the protagonist feels shame when we see him in New York having anonymous sex with [conventionally] attractive strangers and he has awkward moments with his sister and I was just like ............ if there’s anything McQueen is able to do is show how mechanical and compulsive Brandon’s sexual conquests are and his inability to actually connect because once he does he becomes impotent and pushes Marrianne away, his life is sterile and unfulfilling

so, I don’t know, some of the reviews had me like, what movie were you watching?

[icequeenoriginal]

The Meaning of FamILY

Note: I am so sorry for this taking centuries to come out, I blame laziness and writer’s block. So here it finally is, @khadij-al-kubra, the fic you requested. Again, I am so so sorry this took so long to get out. Also, this takes place a year after Intimacy and All Its Forms. Also Happy Late One Year Anniversary of this AU’s blog. 

Thank you @theromnempire for editing. You’re the best!

Names of side characters belong to @hi-i-love-u-bitch. This AU belongs to @ask-spiderverse-virgil and @sugarglider9603

Trigger Warnings: Deaths mentioned, two past minor character death, crying (Let me know if I missed anything)

Pairings: Prinxiety and Logicality

~

Roman was ushered into the living room by his older sister. He couldn’t understand why. Normally when his father came home, he would see Roman sitting at the kitchen table, doing his homework and his father would walk over and ask about before changing out of his work clothes.

Maybe it was a celebration! Or maybe a surprise! But…why was Amá crying?

Roman’s mother looked up and locked eyes with her confused, innocent son. It made her burst into more tears and Roman ran to comfort her.

“¿Amá?¿Por qué lloras mami?” Roman asked while tilting his head to the side. 

Lupita couldn’t help but smile at Roman, almost forgetting what had just happened. She frowned, and more tears fell as she realized what she had to do now.

“Roman ...mi Valiente chico…tengo algo que decirte...se trata de tu padre…”

~

Roman woke up with a start like he did every year on this day. It’s always the same memory that would wake him up like clockwork, ending right before his mom said the words that shattered his world forever. Roman’s brain liked to torture him but pretend to forget the worst part.

He decided not to think about it and just dressed. 

Roman never noticed how quiet the house actually was on this day. Any other day of the year, even if he was the first to wake up, there was some kind of noise. It could be anything from the humming of the ceiling fan or people rushing to get breakfast ready. But today, nothing. All the sounds of the apartment were swept out as if the family occupying the house needed a reminder of what was happening

Maybe Roman just lost his touch with reality on this day. He was never sure, not that it really mattered. He knew the world did not stop just because he is in a shitty mood. Did that ever make him feel any better? No, but it gave him a false motivation to get up and get ready for school.

He walked to the twins' room, like every day, to get them ready for school. Any other of the 365 days of the year, the twins would already be awake, fully ready to run around and make Roman’s morning even more hectic. Today, both had a blanket over their heads and he could hear his little sister sniffling.

He wished it was because of a cold. It never was.

“Vamos, es hora de levantarse,” Roman said, just loud enough for the twins to hear, worried if his voice went any height they could hear how broke it was. 

“NO!” both Jenni and Marco shouted, pulling the blanket simultaneously over their heads. Roman wanted to laugh at the sight, badly.

Instead, he sighed “No no, you guys gotta get up and go to school.”

“NO!” Marco shouted 

“It’s a bad day today!” Jenni cries

“I know guys but we can’t miss school,” Roman said softly.

“We’ll go to school tomorrow!” 

“Yeah, when it’s not Papi’s death day!”

Roman inhaled sharply, it was the first time of the day someone acknowledged what the 17th of February meant. The house somehow got even muter, if that was possible. His sister and brother burst into tears and Roman felt his face heat up. But he couldn’t cry, he was-

A soft, reassuring hand landed on his shoulder as he took a step forward. 

“Amá…” Roman said, his voice strained

Lupita’s eyes were full of storms of sadness, threatening a downpour. “Roman ... ve y desayuna.”

Roman shook his head. He could do it, he had to. His mother had enough on her plate. “Pero Amá--” Lupita cut him off.

“Está bien. No te preocupes por eso”

Roman sighed “Okay.” He was too tired to argue. This day seemed to already take so much out of him and it had hardly had started.

Roman sulked to the kitchen and made himself some toast. Something quick, easy and he was least likely to get sick from. He stared absently, unfortunately making eye contact with his father in an old happy family photo. He sucks in his breath as silent memories began to haunt him like they always do. He hated those more than any amount of his siblings sobbing or screaming in agony. He could tune those out with music, his one constant. These just got louder and louder no matter what he tried.  

What snapped him out of the pitiful void was a vibration from his phone. He pulled it out to reveal a text notification from Patton.

Bestie <3: I’ll be on the fire escape in a minute! Alex stole my sweater again :(((

Roman frowned, had he really taken that long to get ready? He hadn’t even made anyone’s lunch or even breakfast. He wasn’t even sure he was ready to talk to anyone today. Much less to get their glances of pity. Constantly hearing “sorry for your loss” got old quick. Besides, he didn’t want to bring anyone down, especially his best friends, just because of what today is. He sighed and texted Patton back:

Romaine Lettuce :): It’s okay. I’m gonna swing over to school today, go on without me.

Roman saw that Patton had read his text but he didn’t reply. Roman didn’t think much of it, he figured he was still chasing Alex around, and just grabbed his toast as soon as it was done in the toaster.

“Amá! I’m heading out to school! I love you! Bye!” Roman didn’t wait for a reply and ran up the stairs that lead to the roof as he put on his costume. Web swinging always seemed to calm his nerves, or more accurately, distracted him. Something about one mistake and you can fall to your death really makes your other problems seem small. As he was about to fire his first web, a voice shouted for him to halt. 

Patton ran up to him, also in full costume “Wait for me!”

“Pat?” Roman asked, not trying to hide his confusion. “What are you doing here?”

Although Patton had the mask on, It wasn’t hard to tell he was smiling. “I’m going to swing with you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know but I want to head to school with you like I always do.”

Roman felt a mixture of happiness and guilt swirl around in his stomach, creating an unpleasant cocktail make just for him. Not that he knew what a cocktail tasted like. 

Roman gave a small smile behind his mask “Okay then Pat, I’ll race you” and took off without another word.

They swung without another word, which relieved Roman. He didn’t want to be asked about how he was doing, the answer was obvious and Roman was tired of being asked it.

Unfortunately, this feeling did not last and Roman quickly returns to his self-pity and dark thoughts. Roman was so lost in his brooding thoughts of the bombardment of sympathy that he would receive through the day that he did not see the tall building in front of him. Thankfully, Patton did and webbed Roman quick enough so that he landed on the roof.

Well...landed is a generous term here. With how fast Roman was going, Patton had to quickly web him and throw him on the roof of the building.

Patton landed gracefully next to him. He placed his hands on his hips and said: “Okay, that’s enough swinging for you, mister!”

“I’m fine Patton, I just wasn’t paying attention this time.”

Patton shook his head, “You’re distracted, understandably so and I know you don’t want to talk about it, even though you should, but I won’t make you. It’s not safe Roman! I can’t let my best friend get hurt again! Not on my watch…”

Roman could see the agony swept into Patton’s eyes. He knew that memories of the year before, bad ones brought nothing but pain, were swarming Patton’s mind. Memories of Roman avoiding him, the fighting, the robot battle, all were tearing Patton down. It was a look far too familiar to him.

Roman ran to Patton as he began to shake. Roman muttered an apology that seemed small to himself but was perfect to Patton. Once Patton was able to calm himself down, he hugged Roman tightly, to show he was never going to let him go. 

“Let’s walk to school okay? I know a game we can play. It’s called “Beautiful Things’. As we walk, we point out the beautiful things we see and why we find them beautiful. Alex and Georgie made it up after Frankie…passed…and we played it all the time”

Roman raised his mask just above his lip to show that he was smiling “That sounds great, Patton, I’d love to.” 

So they snuck off the roof, changed, and walked. They pointed out birds, children, babies, and music playing from cars. Roman had no idea that such a simple game could bring him so much calm, but it did. He never realized there is so much good in the world, that was what they, as heroes, fought for. 

When they got to school, Roman headed to his locker. To an outside viewer, it was nothing out of the ordinary. But for the four, it was breaking the sacred tradition. First, they would meet at Logan’s locker as it was the closest to the entrance. Then they would make their way to their own lockers while catching up with one another. Finally, they would arrive at homeroom to get ready for the school day. 

However, as Roman watched Patton saunter over and embrace Logan, his feet didn’t want to go anywhere except towards an island of isolation. He didn’t want to ruin the happy mood, especially after making Patton think of Frankie so early in the morning. What best friend forces you to remember your dead brother?

He opened his locker and slowly pulled out the books he would need until lunch. When that took less than a minute. He stared at the objects he taped onto the door of his locker over the course of the year. At the top was a small mirror that he suddenly did not want to look into. At the bottom is a whiteboard with reminders of tests written by Logan, supportive messages from Patton, and quick doodles by Virgil. He felt the tug of a small smile on his lips, though it went away quickly.

He had only begun scanning the dozens of photographs he had before two arms snaked their way around his waist. He felt warmth in his chest as his boyfriend’s lips were pressed on the space between his shoulder blades.

“Morning” Virgil said, tiredness leaking into his speech.

Roman smiled softly and leaned slightly into the touch. “What leads you to my neck of the woods?” Roman asked as if he did not already know the answer.

“I needed to escape before I drowned in the puppy love.”

It wasn’t the answer he was expecting so he pressed on, “What do you mean?” Roman turned his head slightly to look at Virgil. Virgil, without lifting his cheek off Roman’s back, unfortunately, removed one of his arms from around Roman and gestures to his right. 

In distance, Patton has Logan’s shirt held carefully in his fingers, playing with the buttons as he talked to Logan. Logan watched with nothing but love and appreciation in his eyes. Roman couldn’t help but sigh at the couple, he was part of the team that got them together after all. One of his best accomplishments, if he’d say so himself.. 

“It’s so sweet...disgusting.” Virgil continued. Switching from resting his cheek on Roman’s back to his chin, he looked up and said, “Now give me my good morning kiss.”

Roman chuckled and happily obliged. When they pulled apart, Virgil asks “I’m going to ask you a stupid question.”

“No question is stupid, love, ask away.”

“Are you okay?” “I stand corrected.” Virgil elbowed Roman in the side, both happy for their spider-strength for the opposite reasons. 

“I mean it, Ro. I know you hate being asked that question, especially today, but I rather you get annoyed with me than let something happen like last time. So I’ll ask again, are you okay?”

“I am.”

Virgil raises an eyebrow “Am what?”

“Fine.” “I asked you if you were okay”

“Same difference.”

“Big difference, people only say they’re fine when they don’t want to admit they aren’t okay.”

Roman just looked away, having nothing to really say, plus he didn’t want to argue. Virgil sighed and hugged him again. Roman doesn’t push away, the pressure behind his eyes getting more and more unbearable. His emotions were already becoming too much for him to handle. He hugged back, relishing in the warmth of another person. It was stupid, in his mind, since Virgil was just hugging him moments ago. 

With a sigh, Roman pulled back. He brushed his knuckles gently against Virgil’s cheek and whispered “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay because I’m sorry too,” Virgil said softly.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Virgil couldn’t help but smile at that. “You know what? You’re right. I don’t. And with that, I’m going to spend this whole day cheering you up.”

“Virge…You don’t have to. Really! There’s no reason to-“

Virgil suddenly poked Roman chest, silencing the boy. “Do you remember the day that marked the anniversary of my grandpa’s death?”

“Of course I do, you were so upset. You didn’t even want to leave your room”

“Yeah, and you know what you did? You broke into my room, like some lunatic by the way, wrapped me up like a burrito-“

“It’s called a blanket burrito for a reason.”

“Don’t interrupt me. You wrapped me up, put on all my favorite movies that I wasn’t even aware you remembered and fed me snacks as we cuddled. Not even Logan had thought of doing that, he would just let me lie under my blankets while he just sat in the room.” Virgil paused to smirk before continuing  “And I was never more grateful for you than at that moment.”

Roman’s face began to heat up. He couldn’t help it. No matter how big or small the compliment that Virgil would give him, he would turn into a blushing schoolgirl, ready to throw himself at Virgil and pepper him with kisses. 

He opted to just hug Virgil again, a silent thank you. They were in public after all. They had some class.

Virgil embraced him for a few moments before the warning bell went off. “Listen, I’m going to make sure today is not going to be total shit for you.”

Roman chuckled in response, “Thanks, stormcloud.” Roman took a step to walk to his class but stopped when Virgil firmly grabbed his hand, “Huh?”

“What? I can’t hold my boyfriend’s hand as we walk to class?”

Roman chuckled, if there was one thing he knew about Virgil is that despite his boyfriend’s wariness of physical affection, Virgil always saw things through. Roman gently squeezed Virgil’s hand, absorbing the love that came from that simple gesture. Logan told him a few months ago about Love Languages and how physical touch was definitely his. It was a nice bonding moment for him and Logan, and it made Virgil really happy. Roman was rewarded handsomely for it.

Compared to every other year since his dad died, this was actually a pretty good day. Virgil would bring him to every class, even the ones were Virgil’s classes were nowhere near. Virgil had to keep reassuring Roman that it was fine, “I will just use my invisibility and sneak in. It will be funny to see how confused my teachers will be.” It made Roman genuinely laugh, something seemingly unachievable on this day.

The classes he did share with Virgil were the best. Virgil left his non-writing hand resting on Roman’s shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze whenever he felt Roman quiver, shake or tense up. Which was often since their teacher would not stop shooting Roman sympathetic looks, even after Virgil glared at her. Other classes that Virgil wasn’t in, Virgil would wrap his hoodie around Roman before he headed off to his next class. People would focus on this action and how cute it was that Roman would forget, even for a few minutes.

Around lunch, Roman’s mood changed from melancholy to calm, relatively speaking. He wasn’t walking with his head down, and even partaking. The numb and somewhat painful feeling in his chest was still present, but it was no longer the black pit sucking his emotions into it like usual.

Already seated at the lunch table were Logan and Patton, whispering and smiling at one another. Before Roman could announce his presence to the couple, Virgil tugged him back. He nearly made Roman fall backward in the process, but they both knew it wasn’t intentional. They always forgot how strong their spidey strength actually was.

“Sorry!” Virgil said instinctively though he did start laughing as Roman caught himself.

“What was that for?” Roman asked once he regained his balance.

“I needed to tell you before I forget, I asked Thomas if we could borrow his living room for a movie night and he said yes. Ask your mom if you can stay over.”

Roman smiled, “That sounds great”

Virgil smiled back as the two sat in their normal seats. As soon as the two entered Patton’s vision, his eyes light and he pushed a plate covered in tin foil towards the couple. It wasn’t anything uncommon, Patton using any excuse to make people food, from “Virgil had a headache” cookies to “You saved a bus filled with little kiddos and the city still won’t give you a key!” double chocolate cake. Roman removed the tin foil to reveal donuts. It shocked Roman, he had a bit of an expectation that Patton would make one of Roman’s favorite desserts; like he always did in years past.

Roman looked up at Patton puzzled and Patton reached over the table to squeeze Roman’s arm as it rested on the cafeteria table. “I know you don’t want to make this day all about you, so I made something we all consider a normal snack. Is it okay?”

Patton’s eyes read desperate and Roman, half because he wanted to be a good best friend and half because he did not want Patton to use his Empath powers, smiled, and nodded.

“This is perfect, Pat.”

 Patton pulled back so he could properly muffle his squeal of delight since they were still in school and he did not want to get into trouble for “starting a disturbance.”

Logan whispered to Patton “You told me it was because you did not have enough time to make Roman his favorite cake.”

“...I can have multiple reasons” Patton whispered back, glad that Roman and Virgil were too busy bickering about the best Avenger to listen in. 

Everyone ate their lunches and donuts, just enjoying the time they had together. Logan commented on how he heard that Roman and Virgil would not join them on patrol and he hoped that they “don’t burn down Thomas’ apartment”. That earned him a look from Roman, a “Logie!’ from Patton and a kick in the shin from Virgil all at the same time.

“It was a simple precaution!” Logan shouted, only to be told to quiet down by the cafeteria monitor.

It would later become a memory they would always look back on, Virgil even including it into his best man speech at Logan and Patton’s wedding, much to Logan’s dismay.

~

Once lunch was over, Roman snuck into the bathroom and sent off a text to his mom asking if it was possible if he could stay over at Virgil’s, adding that if she needed him to come home then it would be fine. He didn’t want to be selfish. 

Roman figured he would get his reply by the end of the day since he knew his mom would be really busy at work and he wasn’t exactly sure when his mom had her lunch break. He put his phone in his pocket only to scare himself when his notification sound went off in the silent password. He pulled it out and his phone and had a new text from his mom.

Amá: Of course you can, Your sister is watching the twins today, go have fun. It’s what Papí would want. 

Roman smiled, a single tear fell down his face. His mom was the best.

~

Roman’s afternoon classes came and went, nothing exciting or saddening happened of note. Though it wouldn’t have mattered, the prospect of cuddles and Disney movies filled him with so much excitement and joy. 

As faith would have it, he had no play practice since their show season had just ended and Mr. Bell always gave them a week off so he could tie up any last loose ends and decide the dates for the next auditions. This gave him an extra two hours to spend with his boyfriend, perfect!

Roman ran up to Virgil’s locker and bounced on his toes as his boyfriend got his stuff together so they could head off. Virgil smirked and tilted his head to Roman, “You seem excited.”

Roman smiled and nods “I’m really excited for tonight”

“Oh?” Virgil teased “What’s happening tonight? I can’t remember anything important”

Roman lightly punched him in the arm “You’re so mean, remind me why I love you again?” “It was your choice to get into this relationship, Princey, don’t forget that” Virgil waved his hand as he spoke and Roman, to Virgil’s surprise, quickly snatched Virgil’s hand.

Roman smirked back “I am very aware, and I am so happy to have you.” He then kissed Virgil’s knuckles.

Virgil cursed his cheeks for the blush that always came when Roman did something romantic. He pulled his hand back and nervously giggled “Oh shush, let’s get going already.” 

Man, did he love that boy.

~

After swinging over to Thomas’ apartment with Patton and Logan, Roman and Virgil quickly went to work on their pillow fort as the two other spider children spoke to their spider dad about the details of the patrol. 

Once everything was set up, Thomas said “Great. Patton, you and Logan get my snack bag and go to the bodega on the corner, there is money in the bag so don’t worry about using your own money. Meet me on the roof in half an hour.” 

Patton and Logan nodded and left to get their favorite snacks. 

Thomas turned to Roman “Hey, Ro? Before you guys start, could you come with me to the roof?”

Roman was confused but agreed. He was a bit nervous, he felt like a child about to get yelled at and tried to think of what he could have done wrong recently.

Once they got to the roof, Roman asked, “If this about keeping your apartment clean, I promise Virgil and I will not burn it down. Logan already gave us the rundown.” 

Thomas put his hand on Roman’s shoulder and softly smiled “I can feel you stressing out, even without Patton’s power. Don’t worry, I trust you. I just wanted to tell you something. Sit with me” Thomas patted Roman’s head when Roman released a sigh of relief. 

The two sat on the edge of the roof, Thomas in his Rainbow Weaver costume with the mask on and Roman in his civilian clothes. 

Thomas gazed over the city before saying “I know you are probably expecting me to give you a speech about grief and how to handle it, but I hated those speeches at your age when I got them because of my Aunt Patty. In fact, you remind me a lot of myself when I was younger, and I’m not just talking about being a fellow theatre geek. I never wanted to think about when she died and I would throw myself into helping people, with or without the suit. One thing led to another and I ended up beaten and bloodied in an alley on the anniversary of her death. When Talyn and Joan found me, I swear my Aunt Patty possessed them to yell at me for it. I thought Talyn might kill me themself.”

Roman laughed “I can see them doing that.”

Thomas chuckled and nodded “Oh yes. But what they and Joan did instead was patching me up and we had a FRIENDS marathon, ‘the police will handle crime for now’ Joan said. I broke down after three episodes because I love my friends so much. So before I start crying again at the memories, I just wanted to tell you that your friends--including Joan, Talyn, and I--are always here for you. Don’t make the same mistake I did and forget” Roman threw himself at Thomas for a hug “Never again, I promise.”

Thomas hugged back “Thanks, kid. Now go have fun.”

~

Virgil looked up from his phone when he heard footsteps coming towards him “What did Thomas want? Hey, are you okay?” Virgil pops out from under the fort and cups Roman’s face to wipe the tears away.

Roman smiles “I’m fine, really. I’m just...thank you, for putting up with me”

Virgil kisses him “It’s not putting up with you, it’s loving you. Ready to start Tangled” “Of course my love”

~

Tag list (Ask if you want to be added or removed):

@corkeecoderyt @per-seph-o-nee @3milystuff @asymmetricalgarbage8888 @fairytailtwists @sanders-sides-rebloger @mycatshuman @sanderssidesfluffyangst @unikornavenger @0callmevirge0 @gloomingwitch @roxiefox24 @ijustreallylovesanderssides @unisaurioamorfo @nadja-chamack16 @angelic-cali 

[popculturefein]

Ranking Skam remakes based on ✨I S S U E S✨ I have with them. (I’m not bringing anybody down. I just have no friends that enjoy Skam enough to discuss this with. Not including OG, cuz it’s like comparing a blueprint to the final product) :)

Ps. It’s from worst to best ;)

P.p.s I don’t hate Skam France, I’m just an opinionated woman :)

🇺🇸 Skam Austin is so boring for me. It could be your favourite remake but it’s not mine unfortunately. I just feel like it’s too much like OG in the sense of how the story plays itself out but I feel like it also lacks authenticity, which is what made OG such a powerhouse. I guess maybe it’s cuz where I’m from high schools are more like in Europe rather than in the U.S, but I personally don’t really like Austin :/

🇫🇷 Skam France isn’t Skam anymore. Lol. I saw this post not that long ago about this exact subject, I forgot who made it but yeah. Skam France doesn’t give us the teenage angst, embarrassment, or authenticity that OG did. Example: The other remakes regardless of their social media presence make us feel like these are real people. The little extra seconds or split seconds when the clip is over and we get to see a glimpse into the characters life. The recent/known/popular music they use to further emphasize that these are kids, their vocabulary, the minor side storylines happening in a season that could last a few minutes or less. The side conversations, about random subjects. The absence of music to emphasize the importance of the storyline, to make us connect to each individual character. Skam France has a shield of sound, always playing, waiting to be played at least. Skam remakes are always great at touching base on important issues faced in reality and bringing it to life. Skam France however loves the theatrical of it all, the lighting, the music, the somewhat over the top storylines at once. I understand, a lot of people go through hardships and struggles, sometimes all at once, but this season feels very stretched out. I appreciate them tackling this subject, but there’s too much to unpack in such little time. Last season, demonstrated that not everyone gets a happy ending, but they quite literally ruined a fan favorite character. Arthur's season was a lot, and so little at the same time. Apart from his hearing loss and his love triangle, there was nothing beneath the surface.

🇩🇪 Druck. I felt such a disconnect to Druck, and I have literally no idea why. One of fav Noorhelm seasons, but apart from that it just fell flat for me. I love Mia and Alex so much tho omg. And with regards to authenticity they nailed it, but I just feel oddly off about it. “Everyone has a Skam remake that matches their personality and this one is...” not it for me.

🇮🇹 Italia. I LOVE Italia but they do lack the media presence other remakes have. And because of that damn Tim Vision a lot of people couldn’t see one of THE most anticipated seasons.

🇪🇸 España. I do be waiting for that Nora x Alejandro season 👀 for way too long. I really liked season one, season two was great, buttttt it was very underwhelming I was expecting the first wlw Skam storyline stand out much more than it did. Also f### Miquel. Loved the theme, hated the lack of recognition the season got. And...personally would’ve preferred having a Hugo season than having that strange Viri side perspective. Like imagine getting to know Viri from Hugo’s POV 👀

🇳�� NL. Literally the most aesthetically pleasing remakes. However, this isn’t a list praising that lol. Noah Boom..I love his aesthetic and how he differs from the other William remakes but there were a few cringey moments lol. The wedding dress scene was adorable but sooo funny omg. Also, if Eskild was a legitimate crossover then wouldn’t he have just dissproved the infinite universes applying to the Skam verse. But that could’ve also been an eskild from a different universe. Lot to think about.

🇧🇪 Wtfock. A bit of an organization issue, but each season improved little by little. Moyo's attitude when Robbe came out was not it sis. Noor and Britt not being a thing is a crime beyond belief. Britt can’t bring her next boyfriend within 100 feet of the squad. Jens not giving zendaya a 10. Senne's temper, he always has so much rage bottled up and he never acts on it. Our queen Yasmina getting barely any screen time last season. Sander cutting his fluffy white hair. Pain.

Final P.S I’m not saying Wtfock is the best and I’m not saying Austin is the worst. I’m only talking about prominent issues I personally have with them, and I’m no spokesperson for anyone. I actually think France is one of the best, but I still believe what I said. I never said it wasn’t good either, I just mean it isn’t like the other remakes anymore. Druck is a great example, I think it’s a great show it just isn’t my cup of tea. NL is great, Wtfock is great, Austin is great, Italia is great, Druck is great, España is great, France is great. I just have different opinions on each. So no this isn’t a hate blog. This is a blog from a girl with no other way to voice her opinions.

[theriverpersonshadow]

Lamia Drama Part 11

Heyooo. Guess who’s back... kinda. ^^;;; Not my favorite chapter by a long shot, but the idea got stuck in my head just enough to type out.

I hope tumblr doesn’t mess up the double-space formatting between texting and Liam’s thoughts, but I think it’s still distinguishable regardless.

A little bit of context for those who don’t play much DnD: Hexblade warlocks get their power from a patron who gives them a magic weapon. Fighters get a fighting style that allows them perks based on what kind of weapon they use. Sorcerers have inborn magic, and wild magic can make weird things happen sometimes.

Also, I know that it’s spelled y’all, but for some reason my fingers insist that it’s ya’ll??? Idek.

Aaaaaaanyways, these lamia species come from @vex-bittys ! Enjoy! <PREV | BEGINNING | NEXT>

           Liam sighed happily as he stretched himself out in his enclosure. His skull-cap had been removed for the night. In theory he could, and probably should, leave it on, but the tacky substance that held it in place irritated his bones and itched horribly. Plus it just felt like something was sitting on his head all the time. It’s not like he had any nerves in the fake-bone, so it just felt like a dead weight. Bandage and cloth wraps were far more comfortable and did just as good of a job at keeping things out of his head. But in the safety of his own habitat with daylight hours away? There wouldn’t be much harm in letting it air out a little. Air swirled into his skull as he moved, tickling the inside, as he slid on top of the silky, plush pillows and under a warmed up heating blanket.

           Normally he wouldn’t put on heat for the night unless it was freezing, it was easier to sleep in cool air, at least for him, but his eyes kept darting to his phone on its charger. Normally he’d have put it away by now, but they’d gotten Alex’s number and added her to the DnD group chat, Snarls and Snakes, so everyone with a phone was still chatting (save for Nikolai).

           Pointy Combatant (Oozy): i demand you guys pronounce it G’nome. yeah i wear the pointy hat. m a G’arden G’nome

           Devising Machinations (Keith): Your character still needs a NAME.

           Pledged Companion (Trousle): YES, LAZYBONES!

           Proxy Child (Alex): Names are hard, I get it m’dude.

           Problematic Changeling (Liam): Still, that’s just lazy.

           Devising Machinations (Keith): Oh hey, ya got your phone back. Nice :)

           Problematic Changeling (Liam): They couldn’t keep it from me~

           Pledged Companion (Trousle): THAT ISN’T EVEN YOURS!

           Pointy Combatant (Oozy): dude caps

           Pledged Companion (Trousle): I AM SMALL, YOU WILL NOT HEAR ME IF I DON’T SHOUT

           Proxy Child (Alex): That… That isn’t how text works???

           Pledged Companion (Trousle): ALSO THE SHIFT KEY IS STARTING TO ACT BUGGY. I DON’T WANT TO ASK FOR A PHONE OR KEYBOARD UNTIL THIS IS DEAD THOUGH

           Devising Machinations (Keith): *nods* Understandable.

           Pointy Combatant (Oozy): p sure that liam got it for good behavior

           Pointy Combatant (Oozy): suck up

           Problematic Changeling (Liam): IT IS A VALID HUNTING STRATEGY!!! Deception is JUST as valuable as being able to bite things. Sometimes. I’m more fond of biting deer than trying to play mind games with them.

           Or he assumed he would be, if he got to see a deer. He was old enough to be rented out to handle overpopulated areas, but he wasn’t very popular… People saw the eye and all other thought seemed to go out the window. Nevermind that deer and rabbits pound at the ground like they were trying to break the earth, no one cared about that. They only cared that he was down an eye. Fuck them.

             Devising Machinations (Keith): Everyone happy with their characters before I get started with anything in depth? I’ve talked to Hux, dude’s fine ^u^

           Proxy Child (Alex): I think so??? I’m still trying to figure out whether or not to main in Hexblade or just go straight fighter. I mean, getting the fighting style is well worth dipping into it regardless, but, like, would my character *want* help from another fae, or is this something she felt she needed to do herself? Like, making pacts and stuff would make her seem more fey-y, but does she WANT to be fey-y? Or would I rather have her intentionally shun all of it?

           Devising Machinations (Keith): Not a call I can make, but can’t wait to hear about it.

           Problematic Changeling (Liam): I’ve had similar questions… I do think I’m going sorcerer one way or another, wild magic of course, since they’re inherently magic, but would they have been trying to learn other things as well?

             There was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on with their characters. They seemed so juicy already, enough angst and plot potential for them both to sink their teeth into, but something felt slightly off…

             Proxy Child (Alex): I guess it comes down to whether my character (who I will give a name to, eventually) would want the “crutch” of a more powerful fae helping them out, or if they’d rather prove their own worth.

           Liam’s fingers were typing before he’d even thought it through.

             Problematic Changeling (Liam): Prove your own worth. You don’t need someone hand-holding you through life.

           Pledged Companion (Trousle): I DON’T SEE WHY NOT. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH NEEDING ASSISTANCE, BOTH IN GENERAL AND *ESPECIALLY* WHEN EVERYONE AROUND YOU CAN DO THINGS YOU CANNOT.

           Proxy Child (Alex): Ya’ll both have points, just ain’t sure. I might have to try writing or RP’ing her a little to figure out what kind of person she is. Have to get a feel for her first, y’know?

           Devising Machinations (Keith): That’s fine by me. No pressure ^^

           Pledged Companion (Trousle): YES, NO REASON TO STRESS ABOUT IT, YOU’VE GOT AT LEAST A WEEK! YOU’LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING GREAT!

           Proxy Child (Alex): Thanks dudes.

           Proxy Child (Alex): I really like your character btw, Liam. Kinda wish I’d come up with that first XD It’s relatable, y’know? Though maybe a little too close to home anyways, ya’ll ain’t my therapists. Can’t wait to see how you play them out.

           Problematic Changeling (Liam): It’s going to be awesome, naturally. Are you sure you can keep up with me?

           Proxy Child (Alex): Honey, I don’t think you know what kind of angst machine you’re dealing with here >:3c

           Pointy Combatant (Oozy): oh boy thisll be fun

           Pledged Companion (Trousle): GUYS I’M PUTTING YOU ON MUTE. I’M KEEPING EVERYONE UP. GOODNIGHT! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

           Pointy Combatant (Oozy): night trus

           Pointy Combatant (Oozy): also you should just play every single class at once

           Pointy Combatant (Oozy): itd be HISSterical

           Devising Machinations (Keith): XD Dude. No. Just no. Also, you’re ripping that off from Puffing Forest

           Pointy Combatant (Oozy): lies and slander

           Problematic Changeling (Liam): You watch it *while we game* sometimes. I’m half deaf and I can still hear it!

           Pointy Combatant (Oozy): it aint my fault you take 5ever on turns sometimes

           Problematic Changeling (Liam): Well SOME of us know how to strategize.

           Pointy Combatant (Oozy): yeah, trus

           Proxy Child (Alex): PFFFFFT. Oozy omg. XD But I oughta go to bed. I’ve got work tomorrow. Sleep tight ya’ll!

           Devious Machinations (Keith): Niiiight!

           Problematic Changeling (Liam): I’ll get you back for that Oozy. But really, I’m looking forward to this. It’s been a while since we got fresh blood in.

             The last time they had was Trousle. Being the only bitty and the youngest of the group, they hadn’t been friends with him nearly as long as with each other, but he was still quite fun to have around. He was starting to grow on Liam, honestly. Liam had to respect his relentless optimism, at least to a degree. Albeit, Papython in general tended to be unwaveringly positive, but it seemed deeper than the surface-level sugar of some of his breed.

             Pointy Combatant (Oozy): sleep sounds good actually. Night

           Devising Machinations (Keith): Saaaame. Night everyone

           Problematic Changeling (Liam): Goodnight.

             Liam put the phone back and turned the heat off on the blanket, putting it over his head and settling in for the night. He was grateful that his wing tended to be pretty quiet; he never could sleep well with noise, lights, or too much movement, though the pillows muffled the vibrations in the ground nicely. No one was going to come anyways, not this late. Even if they did, he was a light enough sleeper to wake up and bite before the other even knew what hit them. He drifted to sleep alternating between contemplating his DnD character, and imagining hunting a deer.

[fiddleabout]

1, 6, 22?

continuing with answering for rwby and supergirl if idk what fandom you're into....

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

for rwby: it’s extremely difficult for me to understand any ruby ships.  i don’t know how much of it is that ruby was fifteen when the show started and for the first three volumes or how much of it is that i tend to headcanon her as aro/ace, or how much of that headcanon is specifically tied to the fact that she was, as stated, fifteen when the show started.  i very much enjoy ruby and penny, but in a way that deeply supports my aro and ace headcanons for ruby.  but no other ships, like ruby and weiss or ruby and oscar or ruby and anyone tbh, click for me at all.

for supergirl: maggie and alex.  ever.  at all.  WHY are you interested in a ship where one of them lies about cheating on a previous girlfriend or talks down to your sister who is your best friend or who shut down your interest because you’re not gay enough for her at first but then comes around so you’re just so grateful to be in the relationship that you let her walk all over you?  it was a bad, unhealthy relationship and i’m so glad it’s gone.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

i don’t know!  nothing that i can think of? 

22. Popular character you hate?

for rwby: uhhh i Do Not Care for marrow and like respect to anyone who’s constructed elaborate headcanons about deep internal conflict in him, but honestly i just do not see it at all and the amount of love for him in fandom has fully made me seriously dislike him.  i can’t even be interested in the possibility of him flipping on atlas, because frankly of all the ace ops him flipping would be the most predictable and least interesting, and i’m much more interested in the possibility of “morally conflicted tool of a fascist government continues to make Bad Choices but Feels Bad At It but still chooses to keep doing it” than in him flipping and honestly it’s a much more interesting story to see someone like harriet or elm, both of whom have been furious at team rwby for fighting against them, have an Oh Shit They Were Right moment and flip.  idk which one, if either, will happen in canon, but marrow flipping is a boring and lazy storyline, because marrow is a boring and lazy character.

supergirl: i want to like andrea rojas so much but like i just.  cannot.  i only have room for one (1) morally conflicted emotionally constipated billionaire with bad decision making skills and frankly lena luthor got there first and cemented her place in my heart. 

i also like.  severely dislike the way most of fandom writes kara as this like dumb jock all the time.  i know that’s not technically the question but also it enrages me to no end because kara is canonically brilliant even by kryptonian standards so like fuck u and (1) your need to shove your heteronormative presumption that every queer lady ship must have The Jocky Muscley One and The Brainy Nerdy One and also (2) your complete inability to understand anything about kara danvers as a character.  jail for 1000 years.  do not pass go do not collect $200 take a book on literary fundamentals for sixth graders and go to jail and get the fuck away from me.

[ziracona]

so can u tell us a little about ur characterization of Lisa?? What's she like inside and outside of trials? Does she have a lot of lucidity, what were her relationships with others like, would she ever get better, do you think? ( im SAD.) Just. What's she like!! Also, same for Sally? Oh! And I'm rly enjoying two songs by Meg Myers which maybe you'll like? Running up that hill (Cover) and Desire. Maybe check em out? :3 - Sleepy

Sure!

My Lisa is from a bit before the archives for her placed her (early 1970s), because I wrote ILM back when there was no date given for many killers or survivors, so I just hoped they were historically accurate with the things they did mention & went through a fairly exhaustive list of drained swamps in the Southern US & paddleboat makes & placed her according to that data (it’s been a bit so I don’t remember the exact date without looking up my notes) in the 1920s-1930s, I believe? And in her early 20s, since she’s described as a girl & young woman, which DbD usually does only for characters in their early 20s. (Which I’d still assume is her age, bc even though her archives, if you go by them, have her in her teens, they’re not connected to the events of her disappearance/definitely happened before them.)

In trials, Lisa has like 0 lucidity. I talk about this some in chapter notes, so I’ll try to give a quick overview instead but sry if I restart myself. She’s so starved that any time she sees a living being, she is just completely overcome with hunger and can’t do anything but operate on it. Very scary. Feral. Like being attacked by a starving animal. She’s super out of it, and is completely wild and violent and has no control, only the need to eat. Outside of trials, if no one is around, she’s lucid again, but will remember trials and what she did to people, and spends that time in horror and despair. She’s tried to kill herself before, because the last thing she ever wanted was to become the thing she swore vengeance on (the Entity’s a real cruel motherfucker. Did the same to Rin, to Philip, to everyone it could. Likes to really twist decent people into what they would most despair to be), but in the realm, she’s stuck as it. She’s not really aware for trials, but remembers them with decent clarity, and is in constant agony over what she’s done. Unfortunately, suicide does not take in the realm, and every one of her attempts failed, just like her attempts to maim or tie herself up so she wouldn’t be able to hurt people did. She’s horribly alone and despairing, and also in physical agony. She’s at the worst end of what a human can be at as far as emaciation and starvation while still being alive goes, and that’s physically awful. It fucks up your brain chemistry too, and everything is just really fucking miserable all the time. It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe, your breath smells tastes like rotten fruit but in a way that’s so much worth than that can sound. She’s so hungry, her addons are things like dragonfly wings consumed to give her extra stamina. That’s the kind of bare sliver of relief she ever gets. God, poor Lisa’s life is hell. She’s completely heartbroken and isolated and almost dead. As far as relationships go, she didn’t have any for a long time. No one can really interact with her, because she goes feral at the sight of food. She’s kinda utterly alone. But briefly, when Alex, Philip, Vigo, Benedict, and Sally were a group, she kind of got stumbled into, and after a kind of nasty first encounter, was able to regain lucidity around other people, and had a truly sweet and memorable and invaluable bit of time with love and friends and other people. She was kind of in love with Sally, who did her hair for her and was really kind to her, and Sally liked her too. They were close. Lisa was close with all of them. But when things ended the way they did, the Entity took that away. Lisa remembers it, but she could never get them or it back, and was cast aside and left behind until the end of ILM, when she finally got peace and found happiness in finally getting to be at rest in the arms of a friend. Overal, she’s a fairly young and wide-eyed, bright, cautious, fun and sweet girl by nature, now massively traumatized and hopeless and broken, but still with a truly incredible amount of that kind nature retained. She would have really loved reading fantasy novels aloud and exploring the worlds of lore and history, travelling, seeing other cultures and geographic features and animals. Enjoys fashion too, and has a heart for designing and making cool, personal and cultural and symbolic tied designs, and would have been both great at that and loved it if she’d lived long enough. (Shoutout to @artianaiolanthe who inspired the fashion take & it is so suited to her I love it). A little shy, but an extrovert at heart under it, just a nervous one. Loved people. Liked climbing trees and fording brooks and baking bread and throwing rocks and baseballs to knock a target out of a tree and win a prize at little town fairs. Didn’t get the length or quality of life she was owed, and it’s just not fair or okay at all. Liked to watch the stars.

As far as getting better goes, mentally, totally. If they could get her out of the realm or break the Entity’s connection, she’d immediately stop killing. She has never done it of her own free will. She’s a sweet small town kid who was just trying to live her life. As far as physically goes though, Lisa is in one of the worst possible spots. Unlike say Amanda, who was on death’s door but healed by the Entity, or the Legion, who weren’t injured at all, Lisa was on death’s door and like Adiris, did not get healed. Just preserved in that near-death state and forced to work in it. Honestly, it’s possible she could survive long enough to get to a hospital and be saved, but at best, she’d probably live another year. When you starve, your body begins to catabolize/eat your own tissue to save itself, starting with fat, and ending with muscles and organs, which, when it reaches the heart, kills you. Lisa was so close to dead, the organ damage was probably awful, and would leave her with complications that would take her very young. The most likely thing, since she was saved literally seconds before death, would be for her to step outside the realm and immediately die. However, it’s possible she got lucky on body damage and could be saved—kinda up to interpretation—and if say, she was around for Quentin’s Vigil going healing batshit, and got some organs repaired that way, she’d have a real shot. (I also am sad. Lisa was actually the only determinate character in ILM to me/that I wasn’t sure the ending for, and while I am very happy with what ended up being her closure, I also would like to see her live for even more love and peace TuT. Lol, if I ever end up doing my goddamn four fate route fics like I’ve joked now a truly dangerous number of times about doing [>.> me @ me] then maybe she will get a variety of lives in the end). I’m glad you wanted to know! I really like and pity her. This poor kid really did nothing wrong, much like Rin, and just got eternally tortured for asking for help and justice against the monsters who took her life so violently. Fuck Brittany. (Read: the Entity.)

Ahhhh Sally. My sweet, sweet girl. Uhhh, not sure which of the Lisa questions you meant for her too, so I’ll try to speed-answer them all? Sally’s intelligent and understanding and thoughtful, patient, polite, almost elegant despite how impoverished she spent most of her life—she just tries to act like a lady and treat people with as much respect and esteem as she can (unless they suck lol). She’s also very mentally damaged and not there though, and has extremely unstable mood swings, especially into despair. Her relationships with the other killers were limited. She talked to & was on polite terms with any who would talk to her and not be condescending or a dick so openly she’d pick up on it (so like, on cordial terms with Evan, Herman, Caleb if she’d been there that long, but not like, Kenneth or Freddy or someone who wouldn’t bother to put up an act). But mostly, after figuring out she wasn’t really of any use to them, they quit communicating with her. Sally has been extremely isolated since shortly after being taken. She believes that the survivors are innocent and suffering and knows that they don’t deserve the hunt, but has no way to stop the whole system, and has been convinced by the Entity that if she does a good job and earns moris, the ones she strangles to death get to stay dead instead of coming back after death to suffer endlessly again, so she works very dedicatedly and slowly trying to earn kills to save them. It took her physical eyes when it got her and lets her see through it’s powers, and uses that to randomize what survivors look like in her memory so she doesn’t catch wise it’s the same people over and over and she’s not saving them at all. It’s extremely tragic. God it’s one of the most cruel Entity tricks, which is saying a lot. Poor gentle woman is Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill day after day year after year and she doesn’t even know how hopeless and meaningless it all is. : (

When the Vigo-Philip-Alex-Benedict team was going, though, she met and attacked, then was convinced to instead befriend them, and quickly became very attached and well liked by them. Met Lisa while with the group, and became extremely fond of her and loving towards her and was truly, truly happy for a brief period of time. Still remembers her, even as lost as all her memories are. Not her name, but what she looked like to Sally, and how her hair felt, and how nice it was. Sally would have considered everyone in that group a dear friend, and in ILM, Philip most definitely becomes her deepest, closest, and best friend, just like she does to him. She’s a very faithful woman to her soul. Loved her family, loved her husband and mourned him, worked as hard as she could. Cared for her patients, and did her best in that hell until the Entity slowly whittled away at her sanity until it broke her mind and left her convinced the only way to end their pain would be to give them death, and she had to do it to save them. Sally loves little pretty things and neatness and collections. Flowers, bows and ribbons, china and colored glass. She would have treasured gifts like decorative holiday cards and carved animal figures and left them on her mantle or carefully tucked in lovingly organized and decorated books she could open to revisit the memory. Likes dresses and skirts and the way the wind feels. Hopeful and very enduring. Loving. Had a mom heart, and will never really get entirely over the loss of her children, but is strong and kind and will find new love that makes life still worth living in other people. Will remember both kindness and cruelty a long, long time. Loved Quentin from the second he gave her flowers (Dwight: Quentin, why did the entity let you have three moms? Quentin: Because I fucking earned it >:[“ [author’s note: he did. God that poor kid...]). Loved Kate from the day she sat with her in a hospital and held her hand. Is like that. Remembers small kindness and treasures them.

Sally could definitely recover. Not all the way probably, physically or mentally, but by far enough to be complete and happy and realized and who she wants. She never meant to hurt people, so she really just needs some stability, and I think she finds that with her new family. I mean, it is a lot to adjust to. It’s been like nearly 100 years. The Entiry broke her mind, and she’s got some damage that just probably can’t ever be fixed, but a lot can be, with drugs and treatments and therapy and kindness and a good support system, and honestly, the biggest things she needs are people to keep her memories together and herself present, and influences to protect her from being manipulated and controlled now that she’s so suggestible and easy to hurt, and she’s got that. I am 100% certain that while some things—the scatteredness, the ease of slipping into other moods especially deep sadness, the different way of thinking altogether—never leave her, she gets better in the most important ways and is truly happy and quite functional and what she wants to be. While there’s no way (yet anyway lol. Cybernetics that good when?) to give her new eyes since the Entity ripped hers out, and she’s blind now, and can’t be changed, her seeing eye dog does a great job for her, and she’s very happy and adjusts well. She has a lot of friends to be her eyes, and learns to lean into what she can do and has a quite fulfilling and blissful life outside the realm in ILM.

Also: thanks for the recs! I’m going on a run soon, and I’ll add those to my iPod and give ‘em a listen if I can. Hope this answered what you wanted to know! ^u^

[leannalightwood]

I just read Chain of Gold!!!! finally!

I create this blog years ago because I was already in love with the world of TLH and to finally read the first book after years of waiting for it just feels so good! 💚 I love it so so so much, Anna is amazing, all other characters as just as well fascinating on their own way... and Cordelia and James, what a couple they would be! This book was so much fun to read, I cried, I laughed, I just fell in love with the characters and their stories..

@cassandraclare thank you all the efforts you made to write this amazing book, I remember when I met you when u came to Brazil, just wanna say that I admire you Cassie with all my heart! 💚💚💚💚💚💚

some of my thoughts bc I have to rant somewhere:

- MATTHEW is actually in love with who!?!?!?? because the entire book he kind of flirt a lot with Lucie (and ever James mentions to her that Matt loves her) but then he keeps getting bothered when cordelia and James are together, as we see in the end when he's all sad at the party? Also, he's bisexual right? I just wanted to know more clearly who he has fellings for...

- ALASTAIR is such a interesting character... We understands why he was so mean in the past and how hard in the end he's trying to do what is right and to fit in.. He's definitely one of my favorite characters and I REALLY want him to be with Thomas (all the dates in Paris how romantic 😍) please Cassie make this happen, and also make them forgive alastair past mistakes 🥺🙏

- I think GRACE is so annoying and hard to like.. I get the drama she suffered with Tatiana but in the end, when she was already safe from her mother, she still made James wear the bracelet and manipulated him.. I don't quite understand wtf is going on with her and how close she is involved in Belial's plans but giiirrrlll JUST LET JAMIE LOVE CORDELIA ffs 😠

- when I was reading I just couldn't stop imagine JAMES as Timothée Chalamet and MATTHEW as Jamie Campbell Bower!!!! 😍

- LUCIE is absolutely amazing omg THE POWER SHE HAVE IS CRAZY! like she can control ghosts!? Imagine how powerful this is and how this may the super crucial in the future of the series... Also she is so sweet with Cordelia when she writes stories about her.. I wish I had a friend like her... for the future, I'm kind of scary about what she would do to bring Jesse back to life, even getting close to grace to do it just seems wrong.. 🤔

- ANNA is everything I had expected her to be!!! So badass, charming, sexy, funny lesbian queen I'm obsessed about!!! She is so sweet to cordelia (I lowkey shipp them 👀) but for real, the way she can seduce everyone is just so fun to read.. I see she's getting a love story with Ariadne, but as we know so little about her is kind of hard to ship it.. Anna really reminds me of ALEX from The L Word, it's just her!! 💜 BTW I just really wanted to read more about Anna, it feels like she wasn't in the book enough 🥺

- I just fell in love with JAMES so hard, she so sweet and caring and he's being himself. See him falling in love with cordelia was so cute ugh I just love everything about him 💕

- THAT SCENE of James and cordelia making out was sooooooo hot OMG 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[iminyourhandskara]

Yeah adopted should never feel complete with their adopted families names, and a person from another place can only have relationship with people from far away too, here here for adopted never feeling at home, maybe they should go back, wanna build a wall, u know to keep them a part and together? that's how u all sound, shit just say u love the ship

i dont wanna argue about this because obviously everyone has their own ideas of what the ending should look like, but from the character's POV it's something that makes sense. in case you're wondering, i dont believe they would stay in the 31st century forever, that's absolutely not in character for kara, even when she wanted to go to argo she never said she would've stayed there forever, but if she is never gonna appear neither in metropolis or central city, it's a good explanation of why she isn't reachable. the danvers sisters are the heart of the show, i never thought the opposite, this has nothing to do with being adopted and choosing to be a hero in a different century that needs it doesn't make kara a bad sister, especially when alex is the first person to tell kara that she needs to take care of herself after taking care of everyone for so long.

they haven't shown what kara truly wants in her life since s2, meanwhile it's clear as day that alex's biggest wish is to have a family of her own. what happens when sister nights start getting more sparse? kara wants to have it all, it's canon, word for word, that's what she wants, what happens when she starts wondering if she's ever gonna have that for herself too? actually, she already has.

"I just don't know if I have it in me." isn't that the saddest thing to hear?

all i know is that i dont want kara to end up alone as a fEmInIsT iNdEpEnDenT hErO wHo DoEsNt NeEd A mAn, that's bullshit, second, 20 episodes are not enough to either make wil*iam an interesting love interest AND endgame material or introduce a whole new character. mon-el is still the love of kara's life, their story was, and still is, far from over and the only reason they're not together right now is because they chose duty and protecting people over "selfishly" being together because it's what their hearts want. there's nothing wrong with wanting kara to be with someone who fully understands her, and i doubt that when kara told mon-el "out here with just you i don't have to pretend, i can just be me." she was in any way diminishing her relationship with her sister, but you can't deny that there's a different type of freedom with him that she's never gotten with her earth family.