#like. literally every time i get cut off while driving its by a car with an electric type themed bumper sticker

[pokemon-ranger-booker]

what's the Trainer Type stereotype you fully buy into

Like Electric type specializing trainers can't drive. None of them. I fully believe this. You tell me you specialize in electric types and I will never get in your car cuz I know you're blowing through every stop sign like it's a suggestion

[6mayhem]

anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years

[magicdustsworld]

𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀 (3)

Ryomen Sukuna x Fem!Reader

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: A guide on how to properly date your tattooed, big, bad boyfriend.

𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐒: Established relationship, slice of life

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: fluff, some profanity, reckless drunk driving(I do not condone), grave scratches(non sexual), mentions of smoking, usage of nicknames, no mentions of y/n.

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑: 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒

A/N: I feel like I can make an updating schedule for this, Wednesday every week (at least, its Wednesday for me)? How does that sound? wc around 2.3k (got longer than intended)

Divider credits: @cafekitsune

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐

“What’s the time?”

“Hmm?” Tossing his half burnt cigarette into the trashcan, Sukuna answers, “Quarter past eleven?”

“Right.”

Said so, you have hung up the call.

.

Sukuna knows he is reckless.

Often times has he found himself in situations due to this attribute of his. Although he manages to spare a laugh or two while recounting these situations, sometimes having you join in as well. That impulsivity is brought out by his need of chaos and to prove time and time again to everyone else that he isn’t someone they should mess with. Whereas this impulsivity—where he is driving down the expressway with his foot pressed on the accelerator, barely staying below the speed limit—is brought upon by you.

He zooms past all the cars on the road, the wind from the open window serves to tousle the fringes of his hair from one side to another.  A mild headache ripples through him a second later, the effects of alcohol finally showing its fangs. The fog of inebriation doesn’t necessarily cloud his eyes as he navigates the car past the pedestrians and vehicles; courtesy to his high alcohol tolerance.

His lips are twisted into a constant frown while adrenaline surges through his veins. And he will blame the entirety on you. What’s with you in the first place? Sure, he might have been out a little later than usual. Maybe he missed a few calls from you but that doesn’t mean you will return the same treatment. He has his reasons—good reasons. Unlike you who is just holding a grudge on him.

He clicks his tongue, rotating the steering wheel as he changes gears and just as he is about to pick up speed, the car comes to a screeching halt.

“What the fuck?!”

He curses out loud, eyes trained on the stray object lounging right in the middle of the street. Quite literally, right in the middle of the street as its eyes glow with the impertinent illumination of the headlights. The object in question is commonly called a cat.

“Not this shit,” He rolls his eyes, smacking his palm on the horn – disrupting the rather quietude of the neighbourhood and trying to get the feline to run off; It doesn’t. Instead, it lets out a yawn, nestling its head between its forelimbs and completely ignoring the driver.

Sukuna’s eye twitches. He smacks the horn again.

It doesn’t move.

Again.

It can only flutter its eyelids shut and pretend to be asleep.

At last, Sukuna has to take matters into his own hands. He steps out of the car, groggily walking up to the disturbance and looks down on it. His stare only passes the single message – Get the fuck out of here.

The cat has a bemused glare plastered on his features, probably to show that it doesn’t care.

Sukuna crouches down, extending his hand to grab hold of its collar when- “Agh- Fucking shit!”

He swears out loud as soon as the feline scratches him. He grasps his injured hand, staring at the pierced area with widening eyes and a twist of insanity causes his lip to curl up. The claws have made its marks over the scraped skin as a tad amount of blood oozes from the cuts.

“Oh, you did not just do that,” He mutters and in a second he has the cat in his grasp. Holding it via its nape, he dangles it before his eyes while the latter lets itself be held on air, without any protest; save for the unwavering glare it is shooting at him. “What? Got something to say?”

The cat merely lets out a high-pitched meow from its end.

Sukuna huffs, rotating on his heels and ready to toss the cat aside. “Fall back in your beauty sleep somewhere else.”

Slightly does he loosen his grip on the cat did it let out strangled sound; shaking its head vigorously.

Huh? He blinks, swaying the cat from one side to another which only incites displeased purrs from it. At last, he pivots his wrist and brings it closer to his face. The previous glare is still etched on its mien but the intensity has significantly lowered.

He scoffs, returning a scowl with a same fervour. “Listen here you piece of shit, my girl is already raging like a volcano and if I am anymore late then I will intrude your den and-” He pauses, “That’s a promise.”

The cat blinks like it understands anything, answering him in its language which comes out as a choked affirmation. Sukuna is about to drop it again and the same pattern as previous follows.

“Alright, what the hell is up with you?’

Irritation is flaring in his bones as the cat refuses to be let off. He takes a moment for himself, noting the physical attributes of the feline. Thick black far rustles under his palm, sharp yellow eyes and it’s staring at him with an expression which only evokes mischief.

Just a regular black cat and from his least bit of knowledge about the societal norms, he knows they are considered to be the bearer of bad omens.

For the next five seconds, he contemplates on all of his choices.

He finds himself making the worst one.

.

You are seething when he returns home.

No, you aren’t blowing up or throwing any temper tantrum as Sukuna expected. Rather you aren’t regarding him with anything at all.

When he steps inside through the doorway, purposely slamming the door with a bit more pressure than necessary to make you aware of his arrival; you don’t come to greet him let alone grace him with an answer.

As Sukuna strolls through the corridor and finally into the living room, he finds you perched on the couch and clicking through some channels on the TV before halting in one.

He clears his throat and you crane your neck to glance at him before shifting your attention back on the program.  

For obvious reasons that causes an irk mark to form on his brows. He saunters to the couch and sits beside you, calling your name; you don’t answer.

Alright, you’re mad. He squares his shoulder, “How long will you keep up that attitude?”

You pass him a look which extends a second too long and for some reason, Sukuna finds something drop to the pit of his stomach. “What’s the time?”

There’s that question again.

“I know, it’s pretty late–"

“I am asking you the time not records of your unpunctuality.”

“Christ,” He rolls his eyes. “It’s only a one-time thing.”

You raise an eyebrow, “One-time thing, really?”

“Fine,” An exhausting sigh leaves his lips. “Maybe not a one-time thing but I am back now.”

You merely roll your eyes, turning away from him. Sukuna is about to speak again but something just has to intervene.

“Meow!”

Instantly, you perk up, twisting your body from the direction of a feline’s voice. “What was that?” Before your boyfriend can answer any of your queries, said feline is striding inside the living room with a graceful yet suspicious poise which causes disbelief to cloud your visage. “Where did that come from?”

The black cat tethers a corner before halting just near your feet. It looks up at you and Sukuna has to suppress the flurry of retorts filling his mouth as the cat gazes at you with sheer innocence.

What the hell was up with that attitude earlier?

It nuzzles its head over your ankles, letting out a tender purr while doing so. Just like that, you find yourself falling under its charming spell.

“Aww come here, cutie,” Cooing, you pick up the feline, cradling it into your arms as if it were an infant.

As for the cat, when it finds refuge in your arms, it doesn’t hold back from nestling into a better position.

“Where did you find it?”

“On the middle of the road,” He replies, leaning back as his eyelids narrow. “Quite literally.”

You take your moment to run your hand on its fur, sighing out of content. “So you brought it home? That’s so sweet.”

“I tried to toss it away more times than I can count but this fucker won’t budge.”

“Hey,” You protest, shooting his a playful glare. “It’s so cute and wait-” Shifting, you reach the conclusion. “It’s a boy.”

“Wow…”

Ignoring the sarcastic remark, you pat his head, “Aren’t you such a good boy?”

Physically, Sukuna has to stop himself from cringing at the attention you’re pouring over the filthy feline. However, before he can descend into that spiral, a wave of nausea overrides him. Sooner than he can comprehend, he is rushing to the bathroom and throwing up in the toilet. The expunged contents is flushed down as he takes a moment of rest.

He hears footsteps and a second later, you’re kneeling beside him. Greeted by your mien which evokes concern, your hand is placed over his shoulder.

“Hey,” You call softly. “You okay?” He nods, refraining himself from giving you a verbal answer as the sense of nausea still lingers. You rub circles over his back, trying to soothe his momentary queasiness. It does work as the tension starts to wear off. “I will bring you some water. Stay here, ‘k?”

Before he can affirm, you’re out of the bathroom. The next seconds are a blur and Sukuna refuses to let the silence mess with his head. You return soon after as you push the glass to his lips. He gulps it down in one go.

“Better?”

He nods.

“Should I get you some medicine or will you be fine?” He shakes his head negatively but he should’ve known you are stubborn. “I will get you one just in case.”

You are about to leave again but Sukuna is quick. He grips your wrist, tugging on it as he beckons you to sit with him.

Tilting your head, you ask, “Hmm what?”

As for Sukuna, he has his eyes lowered to his lap while he chews on his bottom lip. Surely, he’s got something to say to you but to get the words out is a task on his own. “I- I’m uh… fuck, this isn’t supposed to be this hard.”

In response, you can only stare at him with confusion flickering in your irises. “What happened?”

“I’m… uh, I’m sorry.”

You blink, “Sorry?”

“Sorry,” He repeats, raising his eyes to meet yours. “Sorry for… uhm not caring about the- the time and making you… you worry.”

It’s almost like he is mumbling the words to you and he doesn’t even know if you’re able to register half of it. A silence stretches and he finds himself in a position where he might’ve to repeat himself. Until he doesn’t.

A soft chuckle escapes your lips and you shake your head. “Aww, ‘kuna,” An amused smile curves up your mien and for reasons unknown a heat swells in his chest. “You’re so adorable.”

That heat now permeates to his face and he arrives to the conclusion that he is only burning with a fever. “No.”

“Aww, but you are.”

“Stop right there.”

“But baby…” You jut out lower lip, leaning forward as you hold his face in your hands. Sukuna is on the verge where he feels he might pass out any second. “I am just telling the truth, you’re so adorable. My adorable baby.”

He arches his knee, ready to leave after prying you off but you don’t relent.

“Alright, alright sorry,” You laugh, wiping a stray tear from your eye. “I accept your apology, ‘k?”

He hums, again refusing to meet your eyes before he adds, “Don’t get used to it.”

“Ay, ay captain,” You raise your hand, holding it on your forehead as a salute.

This time, Sukuna doesn’t refrain from letting that taunting grin slip into his lips. However, just when he thought both of you were having a moment until you aren’t. The new addition of life in your abode comes loitering inside the bathroom and you are swift to nestle up the cat in your arms.

“Were you lonely? I didn’t mean to leave you alone though,” You speak to the feline again, apologetically. One which is returned with an affirmative tone from the latter’s whimper.

You continue the tender conversation with the cat and Sukuna takes the moment to just watch the two. “He likes you.”  He comments after a second, garnering your attention.

“I like him too,” A wide smile has curled in your lips as you scratch behind his ear earning a soft sigh from him. “A lot. Kinda reminds me of you, don’t you think?”

“Please,” He scoffs, a frown forming on his face as if the comparison hurts. “I am far better than this annoying pest.”

“Don’t call him that,” You rebuke tersely which he returns with a roll of eyes. “Give him a name.”

“I am not going to do anything like that.”

“Sukuna…”

The warning in your voice doesn’t elude him but he isn’t giving in either. “This thing doesn’t even like me.”

“This thing is ours so you better give him a name now.” Sukuna looks like he’d rather watch paint dry, inciting a low sigh from you. You bring the feline near his face. “C’mon, you brought him home. You should name it.”

If he acquiesces to your command, you might let this charade drop. Well… The cat is black so… “Kuro.”

“Kuro?”

He nods, “Kuro.”

“Kuro, it is then.” Your eyes gleam with excitement as you rock the cat in your arms. “Do you like your name, Kuro?”

“Meow!” He replies and you take the high pitch squeal as his likeness to the new name.

Sukuna lets out a sigh, leaning back as his head rests against the basin cabinet. Maybe he can get used to a cat.

The said cat passes him such a mischievous smirk from your arms that he has to rethink his choice.

He grumbles under his breath, “Fucker Kuro…”

“Meow!”

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟒

A/N: ik the title is misleading but y'all as someone who doesn't want kids ever this is self indulgent wish + I can never see Sukuna as a genuine father so you have that lol.

Taglist: @comeonatmebruh @o-ikawaii

[zhng96]

𝐁𝐅 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒 — zb1

↳ pairing: ot9!zb1 x gn!reader

↳ warning: fluff for those w a sweet tooth <3

— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐈𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐆

↳ moving you by your waist

- sidewalk rule is something HE LIVES BY

- when you’re blocking his way he’ll gently just grab your waist and beckon you to move UGH

- he is so boyfriend i will die

- he lives for the flustered look on your face EVERY TIME HE DOES IT

- you swear you will never get used to it

- you are walking on the side closer to the street? NOT GNNA HAPPEN UNDER HIS WATCH!

- you’re a little too close to a high ledge? NOT UNDER HIS WATCH

- you’re a little lost?? he’ll guide you by gently pushing you by the waist EHEHEHHE

- got me giggling n all..

(rest of the members under the cut!)

— 𝐙𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐀𝐎

↳ is constantly taking candid pictures of you :(( (he has a whole album he organized once a week on his phone)

- he wishes he could inject your reaction tho finding out every time he takes a picture

- he finds you so endearing istg

- he will purposely turn his ringer on so you can hear the camera snap

- sometimes he already awaits your reaction to the first snap so he takes a picture while your eyes are wide in realization

- he treasures it forever (it’s his lockscreen)

- i can imagine you guys being on face time while you are getting ready for the day and he just does the face time screen shot thing

- hes so boyfriend im afraid 😣😣 (pt2)

— 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐁𝐈𝐍

↳ always takes one flower from the bouquets he buys you to know when to buy you a new one

- we need more hanbins in the world 💔💔

- this man buys you a bouquet without you even asking he is literal perfection

- he sets the one flower on his window sill and always makes sure to check it everyday before leaving for work to know if he has to buy you a new one or not </3

- the first time he did it he texted you “hey since the last bouquet died do u prefer lilies or peonies?”

- you went feral LIKE HOW DID HE KNOW??!!

- and then when you went over to his house one day you saw a flower similar to the ones in your bouquet and you connected the dots

- he goes to the same flower shop every time too

- he goes to a locally managed one!! he thinks the flowers are prettier there than at any supermarket

- the old lady who runs the store is basically his second mother and told him to bring you so you two could meet

- he is so boyfriend it is actually crazy (pt3)

— 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐖

↳ buys everything that reminds him of you

- he is so adorable

- he’s out with his friends and he finds a plushie that resembles you?? yeah he’ll buy it

- some times he gifts them to you but sometimes he’ll keep it

- when you ask him about it he’ll be like “oh it made me think of you!”

- one time you noticed a cute plushie in the backseat of his car and you asked him where and why he bought it

- he said “it reminds me of you! that way every time im driving it feels like you’re with me :)”

- you melt EVERYTIME

- HE IS SO BOYFRIEND (pt4)

- you guys build a ikea shelf for your room solely used for displaying matthew’s trinkets he bought thinking of you :(

- he says its the yn museum LOLL

— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐄

↳ constantly bumps into you as you walk

- it sounds annoying but it’s actually really endearing :(

- times he can’t hug you he’ll touch you by teasing and bumping into you

- he’s also distracted and just so comfortable and immersed in your conversation that he can’t walk straight

- (but he doesn’t tell you that)

- sometimes he almost pushes the both of you off the side walk LOL

- he finds moments where being playful but also being close to you are his favourite memories

- sometime when you get tired of it you just hold his hand which suddenly makes him stop hehe

- he just wants to be close to you is all

- and tease you <33

- boyfriend coded (pt5)

— 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐑𝐔𝐈

↳ sets food on your plate whenever you eat out

- AHHH THIS MAKES ME SMILE SO HARD

- i feel like hes not the most openly affectionate person,,, like he shies away from pda n all that

- so instead he shows his love through his actions!!!

- you guys are out eating at a kbbq place and hes just placing some meat or rice on your plate </3

- he’s so attentive w/ it too like when he notices the pile is slowly getting smaller, he takes more off of the grill and sets it on your plate :(((

- when you take notice he smiles, places more and goes “here you go” AHHHH

- once u got to the last piece on your pile its tradition to feed it to him :))

- he happily accepts

- he’s so lovely :((

- and so boyfriend </3 (pt6)

— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐆𝐘𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐍

↳ touching you with his cold hands

- LIVES for harmless teasing

- he’ll take his hands and cup your cheeks with them :((

- he loves the squeal and the cute little face you make :((

- HE JUST LOVES YOU!!!

- sometimes you guys are cuddling in bed and he’ll put his hands under your shirt and rest them on your stomach

- you squeal again which = happy happy gyuvin

- he always apologizes w kisses afterward tho :)

- now you are both happy

- GAWD HE IS SO BOYFRIEND (pt7)

— 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐆𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐊

↳ whenever you ask for one of his hoodies, he sprays a fresh spritz of his cologne on it

- he likes any opportunity to give you his hoodies :))

- he acts like he doesn’t see you basking in the cologne the hoodie absorbed the first few times he gives you his hoodie

- so now he makes sure to give it an extra spray before giving it to you :))

- he’s considered buying you the cologne as a gift once actually

- but he likes the feeling of keeping the secret that he knows how much you like the scent so he decides against it :)

- he likes seeing your smile every time you put one of his hoodies on not knowing he was admiring hehe

- bf coded (pt8)

— 𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐔𝐉𝐈𝐍

↳ compares you to cute and funny animal pictures

- im tempted to make a seperate imagine for this its just so cute

- you’ll just be going about your day and he’ll text you

- he’ll just send the picture of an animal and say “you :)”

- you ask him to elaborate (he has picsart downloaded just for this moment) so he sends a collage of a picture of you resembling the actions or face the animal makes

- he is so cuteness i will die

- when you guys are hanging out he’ll take it phone screen and open up a picture of an animal and hold the screen right next to you face

- he inspects it like he’s an artist and just giggles

- you live for it tho

- oh can’t forget about the times he would ask you to do a pose and you comply reluctantly and he takes a picture and adds it to his collection of pictures that resemble an animal :)

- yea he has an entire album on his camera roll

navi. mlist.

[cheriladycl01]

I'm not scared! Colby Brock x MotoGPDriver! Reader Part 4

Plot: You made a tweet about Sam and Colby and were in a podcast and they brought up Sam and Colby where you talked about the paranormal and how it doesn't really scare you because you drive motorcycles at over 200mph.

Credit to misscalliopecruz for the GIF

You didn't realize just how easy it was for Sam and Colby to make calls to these haunted locations and be given permissions to film investigations.

You'd been set up for literally 3 days time which made you guys feel even more excited as it was such short notice. Colby and Sam spent the time charging all the equipment, booking hotels and doing all the admin stuff you'd offered to help them with but they'd refused saying you should try and get a few good nights of sleep while you could, so you stayed in your flat making sure you had a comfy enough outfit ready to go in.

Colby had practically begged you to wear their merch, so of course you took the hoodie he'd given to you. You'd planned to wear it with a pair of bootleg jeans as even though it was very clearly British Time you gathered in the middle of the night in an old creepy castle it would get cold. Which is why you were thankful for the hoodie rather than a top as the piece of merch Colby gifted you.

You kind of wanted to make Colby and Sam wear some of you Red Bull Merch but thought maybe that was going a bit too far so you left them packed away in the rucksack you were going to be taking with you.

You had a later night on the day before the investigation so you were able to stay up till around 4 or 5am, ending up waking up for around 11am. You did your morning workout before getting something to eat and had a slow evening before meeting up with the boys.

"Are you okay driving?" Colby asks as you all walk down to the car park of the hotel they were staying in.

"Any reason, or just because I'm the better driver?" you smirk, knowing full well you were the better driver.

"I just don't like driving in the UK, it's way more complicated than the US, those roundabouts... wild things!" he jokes, even though there was some truth to it.

"Yeah sure, I don't mind... but If I'm driving its my Spotify playlist on shuffle..." you reason and they both nod agreeing, not petty enough to start a disagreement over music, especially when you guys would probably have similar music tastes.

The drive to the castle was fun, you were all talking about the history you guys had researched and what was there.

When you pulled up, you got this zing of excitement down you spine.

"Guys, I'm really excited for this" you exclaim looking back at them getting all the stuff out the car while you were in awe of the building.

It was a huge location and you already knew that the boys would challenge you to go somewhere alone because of how big it was.

The boys got out their camera and you waited off to the side as they did their intro.

"What's up guys its Sam and Colby and today we are here a Dannamore Castle in the UK, one of the most haunted Castles in the world!" Colby says with that normal cryptic sort of look on his face.

"And as you guys probably expected from our recent trip to see out good friend, today we have Y/N Y/L/N here with us!" Sam introduces panning the camera round to you making you smile and bunch up closer to them.

"Hey!" you grin and the boys turn to you.

"Okay for those who don't know Y/N is a MotoGP rider to she basically rides motorbikes really quickly round race-tracks for a living and she's really good at it too. The reason she is here is because she said she wouldn't be scared to come onto one of our videos and we really want to put that to the test" Colby mentions and you blush at the praise, entirely used to but it still got you every time.

They cut the cameras after showing the outside of the area saying that they'd be filming a lot of the history out-takes in their studio at home and having watched their videos you knew what they meant.

Two men and a lady came out, one was the caretaker, another was a tour guide and the other a medium of sorts that worked with the place.

Sam and Colby started to talk to the caretaker that would help in showing you round later when you walked off.

You thought you saw something dash out the corner of your eye, Sam and Colby were too busy listening too all the ins and outs of the area, what rooms you didn't have access to which in this particular castle wasn't actually that many just the unsafe spaces where the wooden flooring had gotten too old and they hadn't rebuilt it yet.

"Where's your friend?" the caretaker asks seeing that the girl wasn't where she had been a minute ago.

The others look around trying to see if you were behind the car or near the entrance but you were nowhere in sight.

"Y/N?" Colby yelled out. Sam following with a shout of his own name.

"Yeah?" you ask walking from behind a stone wall that ran behind the castle into the gardens.

"Where did you run off to?" Sam asks and the caretakers also look intrigued.

"Something caught the corner of my eye and I wanted to see if anyone else was on the property" you shrug your shoulder making Sam look to the now turned on camera Colby had, as they had started to film the minute the group were aware that you were missing.

"You just left, because you saw something?" Colby asks and you nod, making Sam chuckle. They cut the cameras, giving you a small run down of the castle, which rooms you guys weren't allowed it and when you guys had to leave by.

They also further explained not having got there before that it would just be you guys in there tonight, the caretaker however stays in the barn that was technically 'on the property' but not inside the castle just for legal purposes.

"So this is the centre of the castle. Back in the day, all residents from the Dannamore family and their friends would have been around here as this was and still is a hub" the tour guide smiles as you all look around the expanse of the hall.

"Who was part of the Dannamore Family, I'm guessing we'll meet some of them tonight?" you smile asking intrigued.

"Well Drake Dannamore has always been the most present spirit we have here. He is the original resident of the castle" she starts and you all nod.

"Is he cool?" Colby asks making you turn to him in shock. How is he referring to a like 1000 year old spirit as cool.

"He's a kind spirit yes. Y/N you'll get most the activity from him, he's the protector of this house... practically the women" she smiles.

"Really? Why's that?" Sam asks.

"Well, Drake..." she starts and you guys hear a knock from the back of the room making you all look there and the guide and caretaker laugh a little.

"I think he's here with us!" she smiles looking around before continuing.

"He married Valisa Dupont a French Lady from a wealthy family. Their family gifted and built this castle as a sign of their gratitude for Drake protecting Valisa. However, Valisa did not love Drake and apparently she became very spiteful towards him. She would cheat on him with the bakers boy who worked and lived in the home. She neglected their children making Drake exhausted" she starts and you feel a sort of overwhelming sadness wash over you. Enough for you to reach up and hold you chest.

"Vasila attempted to kill Drake but ended up mistakenly poisoning his sister Darcey. He ended the relationship with her, and she was livid. He moved on and married Bianca, who mysteriously died one night after saying for years she felt like she was being watched. People working in the castle at the time reported that Vasila killed Bianca out of jealously. Drake was in anguish and after that refused to marry again. He tried to protect Bianca as much as possible thinking Vasila was terrorizing her. After that its said that Drake either pushed her or she threw herself from the east tower, falling to her death" she finishes and you all look in shock.

"So he protects females that come into the castle from Vasila, who i'm guessing remains here as a negative energy because he feels like he needs to do what he couldn't do for Bianca?" you ask and a creak or footsteps was heard from above making all your heads snap up.

"I'd take that as a yes!" Colby laughs making you laugh as well.

"So this is an active place for all the spirits?" Sam asks looking around.

"Not all, but most. Drake can be found here along with his children who are also protectors of the home. Bianca is also here who is a very friendly and kind spirit. But its not just people who have lived in the castle. There's portals here too" the caretaker answers showing the mirrors that were facing each other.

"Woah?" you say stepping closer to Colby where the mirrors are.

"So what do we need to be wary of?" Colby asks.

"Vasila, of course. She doesn't like any-one male or female. She's been known to touch and scratch and make lots of loud noises but she's only in certain areas of the house like the tower and the pantry room" she explains.

"Because of her relationship with the baker boy?" Sam asks and she nods.

"Y/N you'll need to be extra careful of the baker boy" she admits and you look off to the left.

"Why?"

"He doesn't like ... dominant women!" she exclaims looking down, making you frown with a small laugh.

"I'm a dominant woman?" you ask with a laugh.

"Just like your presence, the tattoos, biker personality and just your aura she means, your head strong which is something Madison didn't like" the medium says for the first time since being here.

"Madison?" Sam asks.

"The baker boy, that was his name Madison!" he answers.

This would make for an interesting night!

Taglist:

@richardsamboramylove55 @braveangel777 @rockwyu @jada-lockwood @itzdarling

[oh-no-its-bird]

Goodmorning everypony (its literally midnight) I just had a really messy dream about modern au separated at birth twins Tobirama and Itama, where Itama kind of sort of accidentally kidnaps literal royalty Tobirama— while for totally unrelated reasons, a plot to kill Butsama, his wife, and the Senju brothers (and presumably somehow take power(?)) is set into motion

(The Senju were like actual royalty for some reason, Butsama was a king, his wife who went unnamed but got a weird amount of scenes in my dream was a queen, etc. Itama, separated at birth from Tobirama for some reason, was raised as a normal guy)

By the pure chance of Itama happening to have kidnapped Tobirama at that time (genuinley an accident and done while he was high out of his mind and just kind of rolling w it, intending to put him back where he found later when Tobirama had calmed down and also the cops are gone (he doesn't seem to realize Tobirama is a prince)) Tobirama escaped the scheme to kill him by a fucking hair— but now Itama is being blamed for the murder of the king and queen and Tobirama, already having a bad reputation, is also being blamed for it (don't ask me where Hashirama is)

Tobirama can't just come forward and say "bitch wtf no I didn't" bc there's a good chance that the second he's in custody, the person who killed his parents will now kill him

Itama is kinda roped into helping just bc Tobirama has deemed him useful and will strangle him if he doesnt (he totally attempted to just go "damn that sucks. Good luck with that lmao, sorry ab the kidnapping thing." and walk off like. Almost as soon as they heard ab Butsama dying)

Oh right also Tobirama was accidentally kidnapped when Itama was in the middle of on purpose kidnapping literal infant Kawarama, who is his halfbrother (and this Tobirama's tho neither realize it)

There was something going on with Itama I can't really explain, he had some sort of "this guy is more important and powerful than you realize" vibes for him totally unrelated to the separated at birth thing. He has something going on, and he used some like funky spacial magic shit to kidnap Tobirama that was really fucking dangerous and involved driving a speeding car off a cliff and teleporting out of it at the perfect time to make sure they don't all die. It was very convoluted.

Whatever was happening w him was probably related to why he of all people could and was believabley blamed for killing the fucking king and queen. It was also related to why the fuck he was kidnapping Kawarama in such an insane and convoluted way

It's kinda cool to think ab him getting wrapped up in Tobirama's conspiracy shit while Tobirama simultaneously gets wrapped up in his too

Anyways that was my dream (but like cleaned up and written down in a much more understandable way. And also cutting out the "driving a speeding car off a cliff w a drugged out of his mind Tobirama tied up in the backseat as he timed his every move to teleportinf out of this parallel dimension in order to not kill them all" scene that felt like it took an hour)

The whole dream was viewed like a fucking movie, but I was seeing it from the perspective of someone reading it as if it was a fic— which I only remember bc there were several moments where I started gushing ab how good Itama's characterization in the story was and how much I loved him and the "author" for writing him this way

Fun times. Maybe I'll think ab it as an actual narrative later

[lamb-writes]

the rumble where you lay.

pairing. guero x bottles

content. drug mention, police mention, forced proximity, slight d/s dynamics, finger sucking, frottage, marking kink, slight possession

word count. 3.4k

a/n. omg smut for once??? somehow there is no content of them on their own and i think that’s unfair. they should’ve kissed at least once on the show too. for the plot

“Fuck, I’m tired,” Guero groaned, already heading to the driver’s seat of the van. “Prospect, finish up the rest.” 

Bottles, already holding an arms’ full of heroin packages from the truck, stood up. “What? No, man. EZ said we both had to do this.”

“I’m the one who drove here, I practically did most of the work already.”

“It’s going to be morning soon, dude. We literally need two sets of hands to do this—” He was cut off by the van for slamming shut. “Motherfucker.” He cursed under his breath before setting the rest of the packages in his arms in the trunk.

Bottles knocked on the window. “EZ’s gonna be pissed if this doesn’t get finished and you know it.”

“Sounds like you have a lot of work ahead of you, then,” Guero said with a grin, already turning up the radio. Bottles couldn’t hear it that well, but it was definitely too loud for the job they were there to do.  Especially with the backdoors open. 

Begrudgingly, Bottles went back to work. Despite how much work was ahead of him, he was a prospect. It’s what he was here for, as unfair as it seemed sometimes. Regardless of how much friendly conversation Guero allowed him at times, there was always a clear barrier between them. It stared at Bottles every time he looked at the other man’s kutte. 

Half an hour in, his eyes had adjusted to the dark. His sweater sleeves were rolled up over his elbows. The night chill tinged his skin until his hair was standing on end, but not enough to properly cool him down from the work he was doing. His gloves were shoved into his pocket. Not the best idea if something went wrong, he did realize, but at that point, he just needed it to be over with. Every few minutes, Guero would roll down the window to update him about whatever police chatter he heard on the radio.

“Do you think you could be any quicker with that?” he said one time.

“Not unless you wanna lend a hand.”

“Fuck no.”

—

Another half an hour passed. He was almost done moving everything, but fuck, was it taking a toll on him. He took the last four packages in a stack and slowly trudged them into the van.

He knocked on the driver’s seat window again to get Guero’s attention, probably harder than he intended to, but he was too tired to care at that point. Clearly it was evident, too, with Guero already preparing to yell at him but stopping once he got a look at his face. 

“I got everything transferred. Can you put the tarp over it? My legs are about to give out.” Bottles walked over to the passenger seat without waiting for a response. Again, bold but he hoped Guero would grant him at least a break. Which surprisingly, he did, tucking the corners of the tarp into the stack Bottles made so nothing was showing. Bottles made a note to thank him on the ride back. 

He was about to fall asleep when he saw a car in the distance, the headlights illuminating its black and white coloring. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Shit, cops. Stay back there,” he said, hopefully loud enough for Guero to hear.  All Bottles was able to do was turn off the interior lights before he was pulled into the back of the van.

“Asshole, are you trying to get us caught?” Bottles tried to respond, but was interrupted by Guero scrambling to pull the tarp over both of them.

They were dead silent, trying to hear the cop car drive by or God forbid someone peering into the van windows. As he caught his breath, Bottles noticed their closeness. With the amount of product beside them, there wasn’t much room for them to hide. Somehow, they ended up facing each other. Bottles' back was pressed against the backs of the seats while Guero was almost knocking over the pile of heroin packages. Though, even with that, their chests were just about touching. Legs unintentionally tangled together in the chaos. He could practically feel the adrenaline running through the both of them.

Miraculously, his glasses were still on and his eyes were still adjusted to the dark. Faintly, he could see Guero—probably much clearer than Guero could see him. The first beads of sweat were forming on his forehead, if they weren’t already swept away by his bangs which were strewn over his forehead. Though, Bottles assumed he looked something similar. Guero’s eyes were darting around despite there not being much to see. Maybe the peak through of a flashlight or a shadow passing by.  

“I thought you were checking the police radio?”

“I was, I didn’t hear anything close to us. Guess the dumb fuck was just going on a nighttime drive or something. Just be quiet—let me listen.”

Still nothing. Whatever car was driving by, it was probably long gone by now. Probably. But, he probably shouldn’t say that.

There are often times when Bottles has to remind himself to not get too comfortable. To remind himself that he’s just a prospect. Maybe he was too trusting, too gullible, or got caught up in everything too quickly. Whatever it was, that reminder was flaring red at that moment. Something about how they were right now felt off. They were talking too comfortably. Like they were in this mess together rather than this just being one of Bottles’ fuckups like usual. 

Not to mention how close they were right now. He shouldn’t be thinking so hard about this, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever been this close to any of the members before. He probably should’ve been scanning as best as he could through the tarp, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the rise and fall of Guero’s chest as his breath evened out. Their legs were still slotted together, too. Just stopping at the middle of their thighs. The fabric in his pants felt so much thinner than they should be suddenly. It felt like he was feeling so much more than he should. 

They stayed there without saying anything, without moving for probably too long. The air around them was already thick with condensation. Bottles felt lightheaded. 

“We’re—probably good now,” Guero said hesitantly, throwing off the tarp over them, suddenly feeling how isolated they were. Alone at the border with just a couple guns in the backseat to protect themselves. With a prospect member no less. Meaning, Guero had to make all the calls. He shifted himself onto his knees so he could sit up to the best of his ability to peer through the windows as Bottles sat up as well. In doing so, Guero’s legs were pressed even closer into the prospect’s. 

No one was there. Aside from the much-welcomed “fresh” air, everything seemed the same. The only thing he could see through the windows was a dark night painted with much more stars than there were in Santo Padre. He shifted to survey the front of the van. Nothing through the windshield. Their weapons and supplies were still cluttered in the backseat. Thank fucking god. 

“Alright. Coast is clear, we can finally get back home now—” Whatever Guero was about to say next trailed off after he got another look at Bottles, whose face was a bright red and had a hand pressed tightly against his mouth. His eyes were wide and looking up at Guero from over his glasses. 

Guero thought for a moment, why Bottles was acting like that, now of all times. Then, he realized the position they were just in; one of Guero’s knees pressing between Bottles’ legs, sometimes digging farther in as he scanned out the windows. They were undeniably close the entire time. That was one of the last things on Guero’s mind during the moment, but it clearly affected Bottles.

“Seriously, prospect? That’s what you’re going to freak out about?” Guero sat back down, hopefully giving Bottles enough space to calm down. He needed a second to relax, too. 

Bottles didn’t respond. His hand was still over his mouth, though now, not as tight as before. Just enough to keep himself from letting any unnecessary sounds slip out. And they just about did before. He really shouldn’t have acted like that. He shouldn’t be acting like this now. There was still a chance they could be in danger, and he’s blushing and sweating like a goddamn teenager. 

Guero took a few deep breaths as he sat down, letting the adrenaline run off him. But as he did, he was able to get a better look at Bottles. Still shaking, still bright red. Guero continued to eye him, something habitual from his family somehow always being caught in the line of fire. As his eyes followed Bottles’ frame down, Guero took in his hair, his fogged-up glasses, his rolled-up sleeves, the bottom hemming of his shirt that was definitely tucked in when they were assigned this job, down to his waist, and—

Guero’s eyes snapped back to Bottles’; shocked ones meeting shocked turned to humiliated. Just as soon as their eye contact was made, it was broken by Bottles scrambling to the driver’s seat.

“Fuck, I’m sorry! You-I’ll just drive back. You don’t have to look at me, or-or think about this, and we can just get back home.” Bottles’ words came out poorly and fast, maybe as a way to clutter his brain away from any more recollection on what just happened, or maybe the blood still hasn’t gotten back to his head yet. 

“Prospect,” Guero said firmly before Bottles could get over the passenger seats, “sit back down.”

Bottles immediately did as he was told, force of habit, maybe. They were sitting like they were before, facing each other with nothing to avoid each other. Bottles kept his thighs tightly together as he sat down, uncomfortable, but much better than the alternative. Aside from kicking him out of the club entirely, this was one of the worst punishments Guero could’ve come up with. Him, sitting there, unconsciously bracing, waiting for the silence thick in the air, to be broken as Guero looks him up and down for what felt like the 20th time. Bottles hated how unreadable Guero was when he wanted to be. 

“You said you were scared of me before,” Guero began after a while, now leaning closer to him. A part of Bottles wanted to back up, put more distance between them, but another part of him didn’t. Besides, he was already against the back of the seats. “Why’s that? I think it’s smart, I just wanna know the reason.”

Bottles forgot he said that if he was being honest. It wasn’t that long ago, but a lot had happened in the past few months. “I-uh, you were, um, such a—I mean at the time, maybe it was because of what I knew about—”

“How ‘bout I make it easier for you?” He was over him now. Their faces were close, but not as close as they were under the tarp. Guero continued, but not before making a show of his very intentional look down at the increasingly obvious tent in Bottles’ pants. “Do I scare you now?”

“Y-yes.”

“Right, so you wanna listen to me now, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Guero took the hand Bottles didn’t notice he put under his chin and tilted it up, forcing their eye contact one again. “Getting a hard-on from your superior digging his knee into you, kinda masochistic, don’t you think?”

Something about how he said it made Bottles’ hair stand on end. It was such crude, accurate wording that somehow made it sound much more vulgar. 

He was still sitting, now slightly leaning back to make room for the man now over him. His arms were still there uselessly at his sides. His head was taking too much comfort in the hand holding it. And unfortunately, his erection was still pulsing uncomfortably in his boxers. 

He didn’t know if Guero wanted an answer, didn’t know what answer he’d want. So he warily decided on just looking back at him helplessly. 

Then, he gave Bottles that look. The one Bottles had gotten to know over his few months at the club. The one that Guero made when he was about to do something without care for the consequences. The one that said let’s fuck around and find out. 

Guero took one of his legs and put it on the other side of Bottles’ lap. If he was being honest, he wasn’t that sure what he was doing. He didn’t know how far he planned to go with this, either. But, he did know he wanted to have some fun.

He started by fumbling with Bottles’ belt, planning to leave him hanging with a little stimulation before undoing his own. He could feel Bottles’ jolt of panic under him, but he didn’t protest further. 

Guero slipped down Bottles’ pants and boxers to pull out his cock. As he did so, he heard Bottles try to stifle something close to a gasp or a moan—he couldn’t tell which. Whatever it was, Guero did find it charming how awkward-yet-honest the other man was. He was just willing to let Guero do whatever he pleased, and he appreciated that. 

Bottles’ cock was thick and heavy, Guero realized as he first wrapped his fingers around it. It wasn’t too long, though, its length only passing Guero’s fist by an inch or two. Before starting work on his own belt, Guero swiped his thumb over the already damp head, reveling in Bottles’ unsuccessful attempts to stay quiet. 

“Sensitive,” Guero murmured. Bottles could tell it was pointed at him, but again, he decided to let the comment stay in the air. His mind was still spinning, in his defense. He knew it would make sense for him to participate or something, but he didn’t know what Guero was planning yet.  

Bottles took hold of his cock in replacement of Guero, still too shaky to start moving, preferring to watch Guero instead. Which was definitely a mistake, as his cock very clearly twitched in his hand as Guero took out his own. It was a bit skinnier than Bottles’ with a slight curve, it wasn’t fully hard yet, which Guero fixed with a few quick strokes. 

“Open up,” Guero said like it was a casual request, already resting his index and middle finger on Bottles lips. He continued, already feeling wide, unsure eyes boring into him without needing to look himself.  “Relax, nothing too crazy. I’m just trying to make it feel better for the both of us.” 

He gave another look at Bottles. One that said, we’re already gone this far, what’s a little more?

At that, Bottles complied, taking Guero’s fingers into his mouth. He clumsily maneuvered them around his mouth, trying his best to wet them without scraping them with his teeth. Are teeth bad in this situation? Does it matter? It wasn’t like he was sucking him off. Was that next? It wasn’t like he was a virgin, but this kind of sex was completely new to him. Though, he’d be lying if he hadn’t thought about it before. 

“Fuck,” Bottles swore he heard the other man whisper. Somewhere between amusement and arousal. But, his eyes were much too out of focus, much like a lot of his senses, for him to be sure. 

Satisfied, Guero removed his fingers and lazily wet both of their cocks in saliva. He leaned in, keeping his dry hand on Bottles’ shoulder and resting their sweat-damp foreheads together before working them both in his hand. He kept the pace slow at first, appreciating how sensitive Bottles was at the smallest bit of gratification—all of his weak moans and whines. Guero wondered how little he’d have to give to still turn the other man into a mess. 

He stilled his hand, grinning at Bottles continuing to buck into him, but not mentioning it further. He dipped his head into the crook of the prospect’s neck and began to bite and suck with the intention to leave a mark. 

As Guero expected, Bottles already let out a moan much louder than any he probably thought he could produce. Bottles tried to cover his mouth with his hand like before to suppress any more noise, but a hand caught his wrist before he could. 

“Nope,” Guero said, breathy and light, barely removing himself from Bottles’ neck. He could feel the man’s heartbeat from where was. It was enough to make him dizzy. “I wanna hear all the sounds I’m getting out of you.”

To his delight, Bottles complied. Though hesitantly, he relaxed more into Guero’s touch, letting his moans escape from his mouth much more freely. He was thrusting into Guero’s hand so shamelessly, he wasn’t sure if he knew he was doing it. 

Fuck, a part of Guero really wanted to finish him off like this; needy and desperate and loud. What he would give to cover him in enough bruises and bites for them to be permanent. Enough to permanently mark him as part of the club. As Guero’s. 

Another part of Guero wanted him to rough him up until he was bleeding and begging. 

He looked back at Bottles, who’s glasses somehow got lost in everything. If he wasn’t red before, he sure as hell was now. Eyes darting everywhere except at the man over him. Some hickeys were already blooming on his neck and jaw—reddish pink setting fondly into his skin. 

Guero let a few beads of saliva fall out of his mouth and onto his hand, hastily re-wetting their cocks, stroking them much faster than before. He did originally want to draw this out further, but damn, if he was here any longer, neither of them would ever get back to Santo Padre. 

He set his forehead back against Bottles’, their moans hungry and low as they tried to reach the high together. At least, that was Guero’s intention. Bottles, on the other hand, was inexplicably fixated on Guero’s lips. 

They were pink and bruised and painfully close to Bottles’ face. He wanted to kiss him so badly. He wasn’t sure why, it just felt right. Maybe he was just a romantic like that. Though, he wasn’t sure any of this could be considered romantic. He decided against it, figuring if Guero wanted to, he would’ve done it already. 

Rather than cluttering his mind with all the things he’d like to do, conceded to what he could do—get lost in all the senses overtaking him. His heartbeat pounding back into his ears. The sound of skin hitting slick skin echoing through the van. Guero’s hot breath and giggly moans hitting his face. The hand around his and Guero's cock that was moving like he’d done this hundreds of times over. 

His wrist was still caught in Guero’s free hand. Light enough that it wouldn’t take much effort to break free, but Bottles didn’t move.

Bottles came first with a much too loud whimper, his orgasm washing over him in waves. Cum spilt over Guero’s fingers as he continued to stroke their cocks together. Overstimulation buzzed through Bottles as Guero reached his climax as well, both of them groaning and gasping into each other as they came down from their high. 

Eventually, Guero sat back up, as much as he would’ve liked to pass out in the crook of Bottles’ neck. He licked some of the mess of cum off his hand before he noticed Bottles staring. “Did you want some?” 

“Fuck off,” Bottles said, rolling his eyes.

After tucking his dick back into his pants, Guero removed himself from Bottles' lap, sitting beside him as they caught their breath—stretching his back as he settled down. It was probably a bad idea to stay hunched over like that for so long. He could notice Bottles stretching out his legs, too. Though, he couldn't say he regretted it. 

The windows were fogged up, as well. Guero couldn’t say he was surprised. 

They sat like that for some time, staring forward at the trunk door of the van, both of them trying to come up with something to say that wouldn’t make it too awkward. Or, at least more awkward than they assumed the other person thought it was. Neither of them could find anything they liked. 

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” Guero started after a while, turning over to face Bottles, who was putting on his slightly foggy glasses. Its casualness cut through the silence like a knife. 

“Yeah?—” Bottles attempted to respond before being cut off with an oddly tender kiss. 

“Could you drive us back?”

[dyke-pollinator]

Im in the mood for a story

Im a little drunk and im in the mood to share a story with yall of when I was out living in Nevada. This was back in 2017 or so.

This story requires some backstory so please indulge me.

I was a crew leader, managing a group of 4-9 people ranging from 18-23 ( I was 24 at the time). Part of that meant helping them integrate into the new location they moved to (Reno, Nevada) despite living out of my car at this time.

One of my crew members, who I will call Shawn, was...... Interesting to say the least. He was a pretty interesting person, but was definitely way too interested in falling in love while on this job.

So while he was out with some other members on their off week, he confessed his feelings for another crew member who turned him down. He proceeded to seriously harm himself. So now, on my crew, I had to manage that shit and make sure he wasn’t a risk to himself. Because of course this motherfucker was on my crew and technically my responsibility.

Everything was basically fine. Shawn and the other member barely interacted and we were learning a lot about how to cut down trees safely.

During one of our hitches (time in the field) where we were building cattle fences on the border of Utah, this bitch decided he wanted to go for a walk. So idk if you know what the middle of no where Utah looks like but its basically the same as this for 100 miles in every directions 

Barely any geographic features. Insanely easy to get lost. 

We had a rule where if you were gonna split off from the group,  you had to let the crew lead (me) know, and you had to explicitly say where you were gonna go. He decided he wanted cell phone signal one night, and told no one where he was going.

He got lost. In the middle of the desert. I need you to understand how horrifying that is. There’s nothing out there. You can walk for 200+ miles (350km) in any direction and find literally nothing. Especially on the Nevada / Utah border. 

By 8pm we were all wondering where he was till a random person was like “Oh he went that was looking for signal”. Like wtf? Excuse me? We searched in the direction he went for like 4 hours before we called emergency services & our organization that was gonna send out reinforcements to help us look.

We parked our giant truck on the top on the highest hill around us, with our high beems on, and blared on the horn all night, hoping that he was going to find his way back to us. He never did.

We spent 38 hours looking for this person, and since we all knew his history, we legitimately thought he was dead.\

The next day we had the whole BLM (Bureau of Land Management) looking for him. They were about to call in the fucking helicopters.

Now, this next part is gonna sound like some bullshit I just made up but I stg it is true. My dumbass forgot to restock the first aid kit. My co-lead got stung by a bee / wasp while we were doing a grid search, and for the first time in his life, he had a major allergic reaction that none of the leftover meds we had would take down.

So we had to take him into town (an approximately 15 mile drive on back roads) and I did it since I was one of the few that was allowed to drive our trucks.

This motherfucker, Shawn, literally stumbled across the road while I was driving my co-lead into to town. Idk how the fuck he found this road. Idk how the fuck his timing was absolutely perfect. But we found him. After 56 hours when all of us thought he was already dead.

We would have NEVER found him if not for this random happenstance. Some divine power wanted this kid alive I swear. Its some of the most insane shit I have ever experienced.

And here’s the kicker: THIS HAPPENED ON THE 3RD DAY OF AN 8 DAY PROJECT AND THEY MADE ALL OF US FINISH OUR WORK INCLUDING THE DUDE THAT WAS LAST FOR THAT LONG

The moral is never trust Non-profit organizations. They dont give a fuck about you. 

And if yall wanna head this story from Shawn’s perspective just lmk I am happy to share it.

[theemporium]

good luck on your presentation, you’ll do great!!

would you be willing to write something about fem!reader being in the same friend group as Steve and having a crush on him, and everyone else can tell that these two idiots are crushing hard on each other but neither makes the first move?

i hope so because its stressing me out, babe🥲thank you for requesting!🖤

.

“This is ridiculous.” 

“Shut up.” 

“You like him!” 

“Do you want to say it any louder, Henderson?” 

The curly-haired boy only let out a heavy, frustrated sigh as he knocked away your hand that tried to yank the bill of his cap over his eyes. He shot you a look before his gaze returned to the store you had been parked outside for the last fifteen minutes. 

“You know he likes you too,” Dustin tried again, despite knowing well enough that regardless of how many times someone said the words to you, you never quite believed them. 

“No, he doesn’t,” you sighed, ignoring the way the words settled bitterly in the pit of your stomach.

“I swear to—” Dustin cut himself off and let out a deep breath before he shifted in his seat, turning to face you with a determined look on his face. “You’re being stupid. So is Steve. You both like each other. Can you please just put us all out of our misery and admit it to each other?” 

“You’re being delusional again,” you stated simply before you opened your car door, getting out and heading towards Family Video. For the last week, you had been giving Steve lifts whilst his car was in the garage, which meant not only picking him up for his shifts but taking up his share of rides—including driving Dustin to and from school. 

And the boy had decided to be your personal pest every morning and afternoon, not shutting up about your feelings for Steve.

“I am right and you know it deep down!” the boy called after you as you pushed the store door open, the bell ringing as you entered. 

Steve’s head instantly whirled around at the sound of your voice, his face brightening when he spotted you walking towards him. His car breaking down probably had to be the best thing that happened to him in a while. And, selfishly, Steve hoped it needed to stay in the garage for a few more weeks. He was willing to pay extra if they kept it for longer. 

“Hey,” you smiled as you approached the counter, ignoring the mumblings of Dustin as he followed you into the store, only to disappear into one of the aisles. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he grinned at you, basking in the way your cheeks flushed as a result of the nickname. “Henderson causing you any problems?”

“No more than usual,” you waved him off and watched his eyebrows furrowed together slightly.

“What’s he been saying?” Steve asked.

“The truth,” Dustin stated bluntly as he popped up from behind you with a tape in his hand. He looked between the two of you and sighed heavily. “God, you’re both so blind.” 

“What? I have twenty-twenty vision,” Steve muttered, confused when the boy let out a long groan. 

“Just ring up the tape so we can drop him off home,” you said to Steve with a smile he couldn’t quite say no to.

“Hey! You both love me!” Dustin huffed.

“Debatable,” Steve grumbled under his breath, snatching the tape from his hands and quickly moving out of the way before Dustin could smack him, snickering as he did so. 

“I am literally your child but okay.”

.

[unhappycylinder]

Gonna Be Trouble (Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Fem!Reader) Part 6

WC: 4.5k

Summary: You head to San Diego to spend your summer with Jake and the rest of the Dagger squad

Warnings: Smut ofc cause its me, emotions, lmk if I missed anything

Also special thanks to my personal fanfic archaeologist for literally reading this constantly and telling me how to make dialogue not sound robotic, you know who you are <3 

Masterlist

---

The fateful timing of Gabby’s wedding meant you only had to leave Jake for two weeks of school before it was summer and you were free to spend a whole three months by his side.

Of course those two weeks dragged on for what felt like months, but ultimately you finished strong. Most of your motivation came from your nightly facetimes with Jake, or the occasional surprise phone call in the mornings while he was driving to work. His passion about his job and his drive to achieve perfection was nothing short of inspirational, and even though his job was unbelievably tough and much more dangerous than your college career, he never let himself tell you about his day before he heard about yours. It was the little things like that, like him remembering when your finals were or never calling when he knew you had class, that showed you just how much he cared, and just how much you needed to cherish him.

Two weeks gone and you were on the plane to San Diego once again. Despite Gabby’s protests, Jake had won the privilege of picking you up at the airport…winning based on the fact that you'd be staying with him, not the Bradshaws, this time.

Reuniting with him made it feel like no time had passed since the wedding. You stepped out of the airport to find him reclining against the side of his car, aviators on, and arms wide open to lift you into his embrace. His scent, his strength, and his gentle voice instantly calmed you the second you found him, and you couldn't help but release a sigh of relief at the feeling of being in his arms again. 

The drive to his place was quiet for the most part, him asking about your flight and spouting off some facts about the Boeing model you were in, making you giggle. You loved how nerdy he was about planes, how you could tell that under that arrogant exterior was a little southern boy who read every book on planes he could get his hands on.

Jake’s hand moved from your thigh as you pulled into his driveway, a location you had only seen once before on the night of Gabby’s wedding. His house was a quaint 2 story suburban home with a large tree in the front yard and a small porch which Jake had yet to decorate.

“I didn't really get to appreciate this place in the daylight last time,” you remarked as Jake helped you out of his truck.

“Ah not much to appreciate anyway, I haven't had the chance to fix it up as much as I’d like to yet,” he said as he studied the house, probably making a mental list of all the projects he had to accomplish

“It's a beautiful home Jake,” you moved in front of him and stood on your toes to press a gentle kiss to his lips, “good location, close to work,” you continued as you went to open the back door and grab your bags, “nice neighborhood…”

Jake cut in and grabbed your bags for you, leaning across the backseat as you continued.

“Maybe even big enough for a family someday,” you finished, Jake remained in the backseat stunned.

Of course he had imagined a family when he picked this house. He was a Texan gentleman, a family was, second to his job, the thing he wanted most. But now that you said it, now that he knew he wasn't alone in imagining a family together, a family with you, he didn't know what to do with himself.

“What?” He asked, moving out of the backseat and closing the door behind him.

“I said it's a nice house Jake,” you repeated, questioning his change in tone

“No no the part about the family”

“Well, it's a pretty big house for just you Jake. I’m assuming you thought maybe you'd be here for a bit, maybe settle down here, when you bought a house this big”

“Yeah I guess I did,” he glanced up at the house again

“So what's got you confused?” You asked him

“I guess I just like the thought of you asking me about a family, sugar,” he gave you that devious smirk of his and walked toward his front door with your bags, you trailing behind him with that same smirk on your face.

Jake led you up to his room, setting your bags on the floor as you trailed in behind him. You were dying to get out of your airport clothes and get clean so you could settle in, plus what better way to break the ice than to just start stripping.

Jake was busy fumbling with your suitcase, trying to get it open and prop it up so you could easily unpack your clothes into the drawers of his dresser that he had cleared out for you. What Jake didn't expect was to turn around and find you shirtless and in the process of taking off your leggings, leaving you standing in just your bra and undies.

“Y/n,” Jake flushed a deep red, “what are you doing honey?” He stood up straight, eyes locked on your breasts.

“Taking off my airport clothes silly,” you giggled, “Jake, you look like somethings scared you,” you tease him

“Sugar I haven't seen your body in weeks and here you are, nearly naked in my bedroom no more than ten minutes after I get you home,” he began to approach you, arms outstretched to grab at your hips

“Hey now,” you bat his arms away, “that's not true flyboy, you've seen quite a bit of my body in that time”

“Ugh y/n pictures don't count,” he reached out to grab you again

“Jake,” you said seriously, stopping his advances, “I smell like jet fuel and I feel like I haven't showered in a year, so I’m going to go ahead and fix those issues before we go any further”

“Y/n” he groaned your name, “you're a crazy woman if you think I'm letting you tease me like this and shower without me,” you finally let him rest his hands on your hips, his fingers dipping into your flesh as he squeezed you closer to him

“I was hoping you'd say that,” you looked up at him with seductive eyes

A second later you were off the ground, legs wrapped around Jakes waist as his mouth collided with yours and you were being carted off to his bathroom. Keeping you on him, Jake reached to turn on the spout of his large bathtub which was set into the corner of the room with a large round window above it. As he let that fill, he guided you into the adjacent shower and pressed you against the cold tile wall, eliciting a gasp from you, but never breaking the kiss. You tugged at his shirt, encouraging him to pull it over his head and throw it out of the shower, running your hands up his gorgeously toned back that you had missed so terribly the past two weeks. His hands left your hips to unlatch his belt and unzip his pants, which he carefully worked down his legs so as to not move you from your place between him and the wall. Now that you were both just in your underwear, he turned the shower on.

The warm water ran down his back and your hands as you kissed him harder, his throbbing erection taunting the space between your legs.

“Jake,” you panted, finally breaking the kiss, “I need you right now”

He huffed and set you down, spinning you around so your ass was pressed against his clothed cock, the warm water now running between you two. You could feel his breath by your ear as he spoke “not here honey, be patient”

Jake knelt down to his knees, his fingers lacing into the seam of your panties and dragging them down your wet legs, his mouth pressing kisses to your ass and your thighs as you stepped out of them and he discarded them from the shower. As he stood up his hands got to work on your bra, unclamping the back and guiding his hands to the front to replace the cups, squeezing gently and teasing your nipples between his fingertips and you worked the straps down your arms and threw it out of the shower. 

Grabbing the soap, Jake ran it over your whole body, kissing down your arms before he traced them with soap, pressing his soft lips to your inner thigh before he slid the soap on between your legs. Once he was done, he carefully slid his hands up and down your whole body as you watched him, your eyes full of want and lust, your thighs pressing together for any friction.

“My turn,” you interjected as he stood up from cleaning the soap from your legs.

You guided your fingertips into his soaked boxers which showed the perfect outline of his cock straining through the fabric, guiding them gently down his legs and throwing them out to join the pile of damp clothes. As you knelt down, your lips found the tip of his cock, teasing to take his entire length in your mouth. Jake stared down at you, his hands threading through your hair, his abdomen flexing at every touch from your mouth. You pressed one final kiss to his tip, standing back up to your full height and grabbing the soap from behind him. Repeating his methods, you traced the soap over his whole body, pressing kisses to his golden skin beforehand. After the soap, your hands found their way across his abs, his back, his shoulders, his cock, and his beautiful legs. He grasped the sides of your face as you finished rubbing his legs, guiding you back up to standing as he turned the water off. His mouth collided feverishly with yours, his teeth nibbling at your bottom lip with every motion, and his tongue swirling with yours between you both.

“Get in the bath,” he huffed out between kisses. You pulled away, lacing your hand with his as you left the shower and stepped into the now-full tub just next to it, Jake following closely behind.

Jake stretched his legs out in the tub, it was easily big enough to fit both of you comfortably, maybe even a third person, and you reveled in the feeling of the warm water surrounding your skin. Jake’s hands found their way to your waist underwater, tugging you towards him and guiding your thighs apart so you were straddling his lap, his cock teasing your entrance. 

Just like in the shower, Jake’s hands explored your entire body, his calloused fingers running patterns over your back, your ass, your breasts, and your legs. His eyes followed his hands everywhere they went, your breath getting heavier as his hands moved lower. Just as they teased at your mound, his eyes darted up to yours, full of lust and love, as his hands made their way up to your face. His hands gently cupped your cheeks as his eyes searched yours, you stared back at him as you placed your hands on his chest which was just above the waterline. 

“I’ve thought about you being here for so long you have no idea” Jake’s deep voice shook you as he spoke

“Knowing I’d get to spend my summer with you was literally the only thing getting me through school, Lieutenant,” he tossed his head back at the nickname, letting out a small groan

“You’re killing me sweetheart”

“Then why don’t you do something about it” you teased, grinding yourself down onto him, forcing another groan from his lips

“Oh honey” Jake’s voice grew serious as his eyes returned to you, flashing desire

His hands moved to your hips once again, lifting you up as your hand trailed down to his cock to guide it inside you. Jake held you up as you gently sank down onto him, slowly letting him fill you up entirely.

“Jake” you moaned breathily, “I’ve missed you,”

Jake began to slowly guide you up and down on his cock once you had time to adjust, his fingers digging into your hips

“You’re telling me sweetheart,” Jake smiled up at you, “that feel good?”

You nodded, biting your lip and closing your eyes at the overwhelming sensation of Jake inside of you.

“Words baby,” he groaned, slammin you down harder onto him.

“Jake, I can’t” you squeaked out, the sensation of him bottoming out with every thrust overwhelming your senses

“Be a good girl baby, come on, tell me how much you love me fucking you”

Jake’s words sent a chill down your spine and brought you closer to finishing with every thrust.

“I love it Jake,” you hummed, your hands grabbing his neck to stabilize yourself as you began to bounce up and down faster.

Jake moaned, his hands moving to your ass and squeezing as he relaxed and let you do the work, riding his cock and sloshing the water between you two. 

As you both approached your climax, Jake placed his hand at the back of your neck and pulled you down to his face, connecting his lips to yours. You moaned into his mouth as he took over, thrusting into you harder and faster than before. You pulled away from the kiss, unable to focus on it given the immense pleasure you were feeling between your legs. Tucking your head into Jake’s neck, his hands returned to your hips and held you still as he fucked you, low groans escaping his lips at each thrust. 

Before you knew it you were reaching your climax, the ball of tension inside of you snapping and unleashing the feeling of pure ecstasy that only being with Jake let you feel. You slumped into him, pressing soft kisses to his shoulder between breaths as his thrusts became more irregular and he neared his climax.

Jake fucked you through your orgasm, reaching his own not long after you, the feeling of his warm cum spreading inside you peaking your arousal once again.

“Fuck baby,” Jake sighed, his hands moving to your back and rubbing sweet circles along your shoulder blades. 

“I think we might need to take another shower,” you chuckled out of breath, beads of sweat pooling along both of your foreheads. You pushed yourself up and rested your hands on the side of the tub. 

You and Jake sat there in comfortable silence, listening to the gentle sloshing of water as you relaxed into him. The sudden ring of your phone caused you to sigh. 

“I’ve got it…” you pulled yourself out of the tub. Jake grabbed your forearm as you tried to exit the tub. 

“Let it go to voicemail” he grinned . 

You dropped your hand to look at him. 

“It could be important…” 

He sighed in agreement and let your arm go. On your way out of the bathroom you grabbed a towel and wrap it around yourself. You entered the bedroom, trying to identify where the ringing of the phone came from. You heard the vibration from the bed area. “Incoming Call From Gabby” your phone read. 

You answered the phone. 

“Hey Gabby, what’s up!” 

“Oh hey! You sound out of breath,” she commented

“Oh,” you chuckled, “yeah um…”

“Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know what I interrupted” Gabby interjected, you could sense her feigned disgust over the phone

“I just called to let you know the whole Dagger squad is meeting up at the Hard Deck tonight and if I’m the only non-aviator there I’m gonna rip my eyes out”

“Oh my god Gabby, okay”

“What’s she saying,” Jake asked, emerging from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his lower half, his hair spikey from the water. 

“Just that she’s gonna disfigure herself if we don’t go to the hard deck tonight,” you turned to face him, cheeks blushing red at the sight of Jake in just a towel.

“I don’t give a fuck if Bagman is there,” Gabby yelled over the phone loud enough for Jake to hear, “I just want to see my girl, its been too long”

“She’s my girl Gabby, why don’t you stop trying to steal her from me and go find your chicken” Jake yelled towards your phone, making Gabby giggle

“Fine, fine,” Gabby surrendered, “Hard deck, tonight, six p.m.”

“See you then babe,” you laughed as you hung up the phone and turned yourself to Jake, sitting gently on the edge of Jake’s bed, his eyes tracking you as he stood near the bathroom door.

“So I’m your girl, am I?” You questioned. Even though you and Jake had been talking and acting like a couple for the past few weeks, the subject of actually dating each other had never really come up, despite how much both of you wanted it to.

“Well,” Jake sighed, moving towards you so he could stand between your legs and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, “I guess we haven’t really made that official yet have we?”

“No, we haven’t,” you looked up into his eyes as his hands grasped the side of your face, “but I think I’d really like it if we did”

“Y/n,” Jake mockingly asked, “are you saying you want me to ask you to be my girlfriend?”

“Jake,” you mocked his tone, “I’m saying the thing I want most in this world is to be your girlfriend”

You both chuckled as Jake bent down to place his face next to yours, his nose brushing gently against yours before his lips reached yours for a tender kiss.

Pulling away, you brushed your fingers through his damp hair, “we better get going flyboy, Hard deck at six remember?”

Jake groaned as you stood up, moving him to the side so you could migrate to your bag and pull out some clothes. 

“Hard deck at six,” he repeated under his breath, moving to his dresser and reluctantly pulling out clothes for himself. 

–

Jake’s truck pulled into the hard deck parking lot, the sun beginning to dip towards the horizon, casting everything in an orange glow. His hand moved from your thigh, where it had been resting the whole time, to the e-brake.

“Ready to go?” He asked you, awaiting your response before making any move to leave the car.

“Very” you smiled at him, which he took as his cue to hop out of the car and help you out from your side.

Hand in hand, you entered the bar to find your friends all crowded around the pool table, rock music playing on the stereo on the other side of the bar.

“Y/n!!!” Gabby squealed, leaving Rooster’s side to run over and envelop you in a hug, which you returned, squeezing your friend and giggling. 

“Hi Gabs, I missed you” 

“I missed you too, but you've left me alone with these aviators for far too long and now you're gonna make up for it while Rooster and I take a romantic walk on the beach! Okay? Bye!” Gabby quickly shouted, grabbing her husband's hand and yanking him out the door. You and Jake couldn't help but laugh at her antics.

“Bagman!” Bob, one of Jake’s fellow aviators, shouted from across the bar, holding up an extra beer towards him.

“If it ain't baby on board,” Jake greeted him in his taunting voice, sauntering his way towards the pool table

“Someday you two will stop this little taunting game of yours and realize just how much you love each other,” Phoenix quipped, standing up from her game of pool and locking eyes with you, “boy am I glad to see you y/n”

You smiled at Phoenix, approaching her to give her a quick hug

“You know I owe you one for keeping this asshole’s ego somewhat at bay lately,” she said, gesturing to Jake, “Bagman’s been far too preoccupied with you to even think about being a dick in the air.”

“Aww Jakey is that true,” you teased, making Phoenix giggle. Jake stood stoically on the other side of the table next to Bob and Coyote, his eyes softening with confusion at your question

“Of course it is y/n,” he said seriously, “you give me a reason to come home safe every time,” he grabbed a pool stick from Coyote and bent down to shoot, “that is besides keeping myself alive so this group of ugly bastards doesn't lose their sexiest member”

“Someday I’m gonna punch him,” Phoenix muttered while hitting your shoulder against yours

“You have my full permission,” you responded, “I can only keep his ego in check so much of the time…you've gotta take over the rest”

“I’m only doing it because I like you, and so he stops driving me insane,” she widened her eyes before bending back down to continue the game.

Several rounds of pool layer, the bar had filled up to its usual capacity. Sailors drifted in and out, using their military charm to impress the local women, the Dagger squad enjoying their usual forms of friendly competition. Every once in a while Jake would hop up to queue a song on the jukebox or buy another round of beers. Gabby and Rooster had returned after about an hour, allowing you time to talk to your friend about her life as a newlywed (and why it took her and Rooster so long on the beach ;). Jake lingered nearby, a hand or arm touching you at all times unless he was playing pool. You loved it, the constant contact, the occasional kiss on the top of the head, and the little giggles exchanged every once in a while, letting you know he was there and he cared for you, even though your focus was on your friends.

After the sun had just dipped below the horizon, and most of the Dagger squad had left, you and Jake and Rooster and Gabby closed out your tab before walking out onto the deck to watch the waves. Several families packed up their bags on the sand and we're heading back to their cars for the day after enjoying another sunny day of California sunshine. 

Jake had his hand around your waist, Rooster had his around Gabby’s shoulders. 

“Alright alright, it's about time we headed home,” Rooster said, turning to place a gentle kiss on his wife's forehead, “Y/n I’m sure I'll see you soon enough, and Hangman I’ll see you bright and early for training tomorrow”

Through a gritted smile, Jake let out an exclamation of sarcastic enthusiasm, “seeing your face every morning is the reason I get up”

Rooster laughed, you and Gabby just rolled your eyes at each other.

“Just fuck already, my God,” Gabby groaned as she spun herself around and began to pull Rooster away.

Rooster and Jake let out a laugh, completed by a small salute, as your couples broke off. Rooster and Gabby walked over to their bronco, Rooster opening her door and helping her in, while you and Jake walked towards the beach.

After a few minutes of silent walking, your hand engulfed by his, a cool breeze flowing towards the both of you, Jake stopped and turned to face the ocean. 

“What's on your mind baby,” you asked while nuzzling close to him, partly to show affection partly to keep warm, “you've been quiet all night”

“Do you want to sit here with me for a little bit?” 

You nodded, pulling Jake down with you as you rested in the sand, legs outstretched in front of you, arms clasping Jake’s arm which rested on his thigh.

“You know when you and Phoenix were talking about me being a safer pilot since I met you?”

“Yeah…” you questioned where he was going with this.

“I don't know why. I don't know what's happened, but every time I’m up there I'm scared.” Jake’s eyes avoided you, choosing instead to search the darkening ocean in front of you, “I've never been like that before. I’m ready to go, I’m prepared, I’m confident in my flying. That's my whole thing. But ever since you, I’ve been scared out of my mind that I’m gonna fuck shit up and never get to see you again.”

You pulled away momentarily to look up at him, giving him a small nod of reassurance for him to continue.

“I've been afraid before during missions and stuff that I’d get killed, but it was different. I knew my mom and my sisters would understand, I knew they'd be proud of me for dying in combat… in a weird way.” He sighed, “but if I died now, if I did something stupid in training, or if I got deployed, I’d feel so full of regret.”

“Jake what do you mean? You're a fighter pilot, of course it's gonna be dangerous, you know that, I shouldn't change how you feel about that”

“Y/n if I burnt in I’d never get to make more memories with you. I'd never get to hold you or kiss you again. I'd never get to watch you hang out with my friends like you've been there since day one. I'd never get to see where this goes, where we end up. There are so many what if’s, so many things that scare me that I never had to think about before. What if we work out and what if we have a family and-”

“Jake” you cut him off, sitting up straight and lacing your fingers with his

“Y/n,” he locked his eyes with yours, his breath heavy

“Stop worrying.” You said matter of factly

“Sweetheart it's not that simple-”

“Jake you need to stop worrying about that”

“Why?”

“Because I love you,” you sighed, happy to finally get that off your chest, something you had wanted to say for months.

“You love me?” His eyes softened, tears threatening to form as if it was the first time he had heard someone say that and mean it in years 

“Yeah Jake. I love you. And of course I want you to come home safe every time, regardless of whether or not I'm a factor, but I need you to be safe up there for me. You're the best pilot in the navy, no question, and I think that's pretty cool, so if there's one thing you do, make it being safe…please” you chuckled, eyes diverting from his briefly before returning, searching for some response.

“Woman…I didn't think I could love you any more than I already did…” he reached up to grab your face, pulling you in for a tight kiss, feeling all his worries melt away into the night sky. This was going to be a summer to remember.

--

Taglist: @dempy @shanimallina87 @luckyladycreator2 @mightiestheroes @taytaylala12

[walnutcookie]

hello there mister almond sir i just read your Misfortune infodump and i. am intrigued. i would like to hear more pretty please /nf

MISFORTUNE RANT PART 2💥💥 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK BWAAA/GEN ...

part 1 here

so . Unfortunately i am a sucker for fluff and also capchat so that is precisely the ending my fanon gets HXVDKDB

langue comes to visit cappu in her office the day after he saw misfortune again and finds her like half dead with a hangover and theyre like Hey. What the fuck happened. shes a little hesitant because yknow not everyone will believe you when you say theres a giant 10 foot raven inside of you!! but he tells langue EVERYTHING and based on what cappu tells them. They believe her!! they are horrified and greatly disgusted (thhey dont like the thought of a giant bird covered in blood crawling in and out of cappus mouth so they make her swish out his mouth before they kiss him /hj)

but langue is a stubborn fuck. a perfectionist and an overachiever. they are going to fight misery itself just to prove they can. So!! misfortune feeds off of cappuccino being miserable? then they just have to make her life As good and lovely as possible so that he never feels miserable. or at least not enough for it to feed off of her

they manage to convince their parents (who were never very fond of cappu and just saw her as a bad influence for their precious lovely child) to let cappu move in with them temporarily and they quickly start to adore him because Of Course They Do. Langue is going to nag him about every little thing until he Actually Does It so eventually they manage to get him a proper sleep schedule, wean her off of cigarettes, heavily cut her daily coffee intake, and most importantly keep her from being isolated so often. Love wins !

obviously it takes a loong time and misfortune is NOT happy that this little fuck is managing to ignore all of the disasters its causing (falling furniture. fires. shattered windows. anything it can manage to do) and somehow not die from any of it and eventually They succeed ! Cappuccino is actually happy! even though misfortune still tries to make her life a living hell she now has support from langue AND their parents and so shes able to actually push through and recover from his bad luck instead of just having to sit there and endure it (or desperately find ways to escape it)

right now the silly ending is misfortune senses a very very miserable being walking down the street and goes to hide in them instead but it turns out it was ROGUEFORT and misfortune has thousands of year old beef with their sentient cloak goddess (lupine) and it escapes heavily weakened.

it is so itty bitty now. but it has found that movie theaters produce a good amount of misery for it to feed off of and it lives in there now lol. Diversity win! The spirit of misfortune likes popcorn!

this is all just a silly ending though idk if its canon or not . Either way misfortune leaves cappu and finds another victim HXBDKFB

meanwhile cappu is FUCKING DYING!!! It clawed its way out of his chest since it no longer cared if she died or not and had no use for her it just left her to die. Thankfully it was in langues house so he was rushed to a hospital as soon as langue saw her with his chest literally wide open (they frew up) and Cappu Survived!!!!

thats basically it HXVDKF cappu rides in a car while conscious for the first time in years when langues parents drive her home from the hospital and he is an Anxious Mess because of how many accidents hes been in and how its caused her to be absolutely terrified of cars. but langue is there to hold his hand and. um. yeah just kind of hold her hand because they are AWFUL at comforting people. But their parents try to say some comforting things !!! poor thang is trembling

if anyone has any questions i would love to answer :3!! i love this silly raven thang so much

[eurydicees]

YOU WROTE 18K BY HAND?? i am so impressed i need to ask what you are writing about. holy shit u are like a god

oh my god ok THANK YOU for asking !!! also in the time since you asked this, i have written another 1,400 words by hand. Anyways. under the cut bc this got. too long.

so this was originally for the 50k big bang project, but it was cancelled so i'm gonna go ahead and talk about it publicly now. SO.

the sparknotes summary: it is an iwaoi post-canon coming of age relationship study !! it's about iwaizumi in california and oikawa in argentina and how they navigate their friendship while long distance. it quite literally walks through every step of their journey from graduation aoba johsai to meeting again at the 2020 olympics....the sheer amount of time i'm covering is why its currently ~88,000 words LMAO.

this fic is literally my little monster. it was supposed to be 30k. then it was supposed to be 50k MAX. it is now 88 thousand words long. anyways though i'm enjoying it.

it's a slow burn get together, but it's also a break up & make up fic. the idea is that they dated in high school and then had to break up bc of the distance--but i think they're probably going to get together in the end. the middle is a whole lot of them growing up and figuring out how they can have a healthy friendship even as adults and dealing with loneliness and adulthood on their own and really coming into themselves as people by the time that they get to the olympics.

i just finished parts two and three, which is iwaizumi's years at university. here are some BANGER lines, if i do say so myself:

after oikawa's visit to california, when he has to leave again:

Oikawa smiles at him, and with that, he takes the handle of his suitcase and walks into the airport. Farther and farther and farther away, until he’s disappeared from sight and Iwaizumi is standing alone again, next to the blinking red hazard lights and the sound of other cars’ wheels on cracked concrete.  He gets back into the car. He doesn’t really want to talk to Rich right now, or any one of his other friends or teammates. He kind of just wants to be alone.  So he turns off the hazard lights and puts the car in drive and then he takes the long way home.

when iwaizumi is talking to his friends about oikawa:

“It’s not a big deal,” he tries. “We’ve both moved on. It wouldn’t have lasted while we’re in different countries anyway.”  He does not mention that Oikawa had asked him to wait. He does not mention that he is—he is waiting, and he doesn’t plan on stopping. He doesn’t plan on breaking that promise to come home.  “Ah,” Em says, subdued.

during a drunken NYE call:

Iwaizumi can hear the flinch in Oikawa’s voice. “You miss me?”  “I’m not saying it again,” Iwaizumi says, and it sounds like it’s supposed to be angry, but it just comes out tired and sad. “Of fucking course I do. You’re—” “I’m what?”  Iwaizumi takes a shuddering breath. “You’re so far away, Tooru. You’re so far away and it makes me—fuck, fuck! I shouldn’t have called. I should—” “No!” Oikawa says it instantly, desperately, cutting off any idea that Iwaizumi should go. Which is good because as much as Iwaizumi wants to escape the embarrassment of this phone call, he doesn’t actually want to hang up. He doesn’t actually want to leave Oikawa now. “Stay. Please. Stay with me.”  Iwaizumi pauses for a moment, swallowing down Oikawa’s words and turning them over in his head before saying anything else. “Okay. I’ll stay.” 

anywayssssssss!!! it's been REALLY fun to write, but it's also like. an insane labor of love. this fic was my project for nanowrimo july of LAST YEAR, and it's my project again this year. isn't that crazy. so so so much has gone into this fic its literally driving me up the wall. it haunts my every waking moment and also my dreams.

but yeah i don't have wifi where i'm living for the summer, so i've been writing everything by hand and then typing it all up when i can use a hotspot on my phone. i also have the most amount of free time in my life than i have , like, EVER had in my non-child life. so i get to spend so much time writing, which has been sooooo fun. i am begging the universe to keep me from being burnt out bc i'm genuinely having the time of my life working on this.

ok phone's about to die gotta go. thank you for asking i want to talk about this SO bad. please feel free to ask me. please enable me i'm begging you

[aobaseijohs]

Saw ur tags while scrolling through that cybertruck post, would love to hear ur survivor experiences

not gonna lie when i got to work on monday i turned the corner to walk into the office and saw the cybertruck parked out front and almost turned around and went home. but anyway

first of all this thing is fucking huge. its taller than every pickup truck it passes on the road. it barely fits in a parking spot. i tried to parallel park behind it and physically couldn’t do it, partially because of how long it is and partially because it does this thing where instead of the shape of the back going inward it goes OUTWARD and it’s all sharp angles and i didn’t want to literally put a cut in my car trying to park it. the wheels are also way bigger than any road legal pickup truck’s wheels should be and they’re uh. spiked. which is excessive

also? because it’s stainless steel? im pretty sure it has to be cleaned or at least wiped off every time it’s out in the rain, not to mention if it actually gets dirty. which is fucking nuts. why didn’t we just add a finish to the exterior of the car that’s meant to get dirt on it??? what are we doing here

the thing that stuck out to me most about it when i was actually in the car was about the doors. it doesn’t have handles. like at all. like other teslas have the hidden handle where you press in one place and it pops out and you can grab it. this does not have that. you press a button by the window and the door pops open a tiny bit, then you grab the edge of the door to pull it open and closed. and as we know already about the cybertruck, this thing is entirely sharp exposed stainless steel edges. the doors are no exception. every single time i had to open and close it i pinched my fingertips in where the door meets the rest of the truck. why the fuck dont we just use DOOR HANDLES so we dont have to GRAB SHARP METAL EDGES with our BARE HANDS??? i’ve been mad about specifically this for days. what even is the point of omitting handles. that feels like it shouldnt be legal.

im sure i will learn more about this monstrosity over the next few weeks this is all just first impressions but i have literally been itching to scream about it to everyone who will listen because i’m in the like .0001% of the population who’s actually been associated with one closely enough to be in it for a drive, as highly embarrassed as i am about it

[steve-keychain]

I posted 5,383 times in 2022

That's 2,417 more posts than 2021!

319 posts created (6%)

5,064 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@parotcardsroxy

@transgenderpirate

@gobcore

@captainmilf

@toastys

I tagged 2,797 of my posts in 2022

Only 48% of my posts had no tags

#s4 spoilers - 229 posts

#nandermo - 158 posts

#nandor - 130 posts

#vh - 118 posts

#wwdits - 106 posts

#guillermo - 66 posts

#&lt;3 - 63 posts

#ofmd - 49 posts

#yeah - 48 posts

#nadja - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#do you hear an echo? as in nymph of rock and ravine cursed to endlessly repeat the voice of another. as in i can't help but speak for fear t

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

drug blood this drug blood that- i want the vampires to drink the blood of like, jersey shore juice heads headed into a crossfit gym off their tits on like entire jugs of pre-workout. i think nadja especially deserves to pick up a car and throw it at someone.

101 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

#4

layla? the song e*ric Clap**n wrote about having an affair with george harrisons wife??? tHAT SONG???? THAT FUCKING SONG????? G U Y S

118 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#3

Rewatching ressurection rn and watching Nandor and Guillermo try to kill Topher is literally making me laugh so fucking hard- Nandor chucks the guy through the air twice doing him 0 damage- HARD CUT to Guillermo helping him electrocute Topher while Nandor stands on top of him in the most ‘pretty princess’ pose i’ve ever seen. Whatever is wrong with them is incurable and I’m catching it through my computer screen via osmosis.

134 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

#2

Nandor and video games makes me insane but let me add that to the imagery of the Train thing like. Gigantic dude dressed up as a warlord openly sobbing on new jersey transit at like 3am, playing animal crossing on a pink sticker covered nintendo switch. You sit across the aisle from him and he keeps sniffling and going “Fucking guy. fucking... nook miles fucking. EHGHGH. Roald my darling little friend you would not have abandoned me... yes I agree. We should work on our gains now.”

171 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You know what drives me crazy? Like pure unadulterated fucking batshit crazy???? Nandor loves Guillermo’s name so much. I think it might genuinely be his favorite word. He says it almost every sentence, and it’s always said with such fucking reverence! Every time! He plays with the tone, its like a game! It’s his favorite thing, it’s always on the tip of his tongue!!!!!! My p o o r sweet Guillermo! My dear Guillermo! Oh G u i l l e r m o - Guillermo Guillermo G u i l le r m o    like oh my god help

472 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[troofless]

*cracks knuckles* alright guys it's time for my 1k long manifesto that nobody wants to read lambasting a badly directed movie

So I just finished watching the fourth MHA movie (You're Next) and it was kinda underwhelming, so here are my thoughts on it. More under the cut.

The good parts:

The comedy parts hit well, my favourites being:

Bakugou telling his classmates to turn back the truck and drive into the apocalyptic-ass-looking Alchemy-growing area

Izuku commenting silently on how Giulio is politely insulting him,

Bakugou calling Giulio 'ikemob'

Izuku bumping into the fake wall and chute scene

Team Izuku taking down 3 jailbreakers, Bakugou chiming in that his team caught 4, and Todoroki chiming in a beat later to say that his team caught 6 in a throw back to Two Heroes

Bakugou calling Tokoyami and then Todoroki using the 'I'll hold them off here, you go on ahead' trope 'chuuni ka' and 'mata chuuni'

When Dark Might asks 'Anyone who wants to join me, raise your hands' and Bakugou raises his hand to ask if his looks are the only thing similar to All Might

Anyway Bakugou is just perfect comedy in the whole movie it's great

All of Giulio's fight scenes because his creative use of his eye, mecha arm and motorcycle are so creative and Ironman/Batman inspired

Dude Giulio even has this cool scene where he's asleep but because he's programmed his support items to shoot dream lady on sight he just stomps her like you cannot get more cool than that he is literally Iron Deku prototype I see the vision

The scene where Izuku and Giulio have a heart to heart while Izuku is tied to his motorcycle is hilarious.

Izuku is just cute in all scenes with Giulio. I love him.

Izuku shows how deserving he is to be the main character of MHA as a guy with compassion (stopping Giulio from shooting Anna), while showing how badass he can get with his intellect (Domain Expansion Nullification and Domain Expansion Decelerate fight), and the raw ability to fuck shit up.

The animation is gorgeous, every scene can be a screenshot on its own and look good (except for the final fight but I'll get to that)

Giulio and Anna are great characters and are precious, Giulio is so badass with a Edward-Elric-kinnie mech arm, leg, eye AND motorcycle. Bro was the Iron Deku before Iron Deku even existed.

The Gollini family all have amazing Quirks (that were sadly underutilised but we'll get there in a bit)

The dream sequences were nice fanservice bits, with Todoroki and Iida's ones being heartbreaking and Izuku's one being cute and somewhat heartbreaking as well (before the vestiges cuck him)

And now for the bad stuff, which is pretty much everything else. (Note that I'm not gonna talk about Two Heroes because I view that movie as the weakest out of all the movies because it's painful to see how much Izuku and Bakugou et al have improved since then.)

The opening scene:

World Heroes Mission (WHM) had a banger opening scene of an action-packed heist mission fight scene that segued right into another cops and robbers chase scene into yet another spiderDeku scene. Heroes Rising had a chill scene with everyone in Class 1-A showing their stuff and personalities. You're Next had... what...? Izuku soloing 3 guys in the most boringly choreographed fight ever. There's villain who can literally transform a car into a car from Cars and all Izuku does is spam Blackwhip to pull the car from running away in a zoomed out scene. 0 ingenuity in camera angles, movement, etc. The movie then cuts to the opening, which is pretty banger, but god You're Next had such a weak intro when you put it next to WHM.

The pacing:

The pacing is godawful in this movie. Every 10 minutes the movie switches to a different POV as if they're allergic to focusing on a single character. The problem is that throughout movie, they focus on FIVE different POVs: Team Izuku, Team Bakugou, Team Todoroki, Dark Might, and the Pro Heroes. So they're continuously juggling between giving everyone screen time, resulting in a lot of cuts of what could have been cool fight scenes.

An example would be Team Bakugou gets dropped into a cool video-game-esque dungeon where the Villain henchman sends wave after waves of monster mobs after them. Each of the peanut gallery in Team Bakugou gets to use their one signature move in a 2 second cut before the scene cuts away to another POV. POV switch back, oh hey, Team Bakugou have cleared out all the mobs, still stuck in the same dungeon room, mind you, and what does the Villain do? Send more trash mobs after them. This results in another 5 seconds of Bakugou saying 'Goddammit there's no end to them' and then cut away to another POV. POV swap back? Oh, Team Bakugou have cleared the dungeon already OFF SCREEN. And how did they do this, you ask? Bakugou literally blows up the wall leading to the boss room, the Villain yells that he's cheating, and then Bakugou silently uses his grenade bracer on the guy. Wtf. We could have had a cool moment of Team Bakugou teaming up to progress through a dungeon with traps and occasional monsters with swinging-axe comedic moments added in (think Danganronpa 3 Chiaki dungeon), but all this is only implied in a fade to black situation.

And let's not forget about Giulio and Anna. So let's just get this straight. This movie was written for them. This movie was not written with the rest of the MHA characters in mind. This plot was someone's OC fanfiction in a MHA universe that had Izuku and the others as side characters in their love drama. So the writer wants to get us invested in these two characters. To get us invested, we need to know their backstory, Quirks, etc. How does the writer do that? THEY MAKE GIULIO MONOLOGUE. He tells us his whole sob story in one whole sitting - Anna's Quirk, how Anna has been suffering because of said Quirk, how he was brought in to save her with his Quirk, how she tells him to kill her if she ever loses control, how he agrees, how she gets kidnapped, how he loses his arm that holds his Quirk factor in the process and thus can't save her... AND AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH... Izuku has to talk-no-jutsu him out of his depression and say, 'No! You can save her! You want to save her! So don't give up!' in the most cookie cutter, shittiest emotional beat ever. And to make it even worse, the movie makes the whole peanut gallery of Class 1-A chime in after Izuku as well.

The directing:

'WHO DIRECTED THIS MOVIE????' is the question I found myself furiously thinking every time the POV swapped. I checked it up before the movie, and hey, I don't know this movie director, he hasn't directed shows I liked, and it's a different director from Heroes Rising and WHM. Well maybe his past works don't reflect his present triumphs, right? Yeah, no, this movie was just badly directed.

The POV swaps too often to get invested in any of them, the fight scenes were uninteresting, fight matchups uninspired, and they gave too much screentime to the less unimportant characters fighting trash mobs. WHM had trash mobs too, but at least they didn't pretend the side characters were important and hogged screentime. This movie abused trash mobs like they were handing out buy 1 get 100 free mobs at a supermarket sale. Every time the heroes defeat a wave of mobs, the bad guy immediately spawns more of them because 'Oh, his jacked up power can Just Do That I guess'.

Some of the choices in the movie make no sense. Why do Team Bakugou get thrown into amusement park in this one scene and that place is never seen again?

The choreography:

The fight choreographies were so inspired and lame I can't even.

In WHM we had Izuku doing sick Spiderman close-to-1st-POV camera angle spins off of a island bridge while carrying Rody. In this movie, what does Izuku do with Blackwhip? Izuku's first fight scene was just him doing tug of war with Blackwhip and a car. Izuku's next fight has him doing... a two-minute Blackwhip tug of war with another guy.

The next fight is pretty good though because it's a shootout scene between Giulio and these random henchmen. Giulio gets to show off all his cool gadgets, including his sick motorcycle that definitely should have a cool name like All Might's Hercules does.

Team Bakugou fight a bunch of monsters offscreen. Fucking disgusting robbing them of a perfectly good opportunity to show Bakugou leading a team and showing off that he can play in a team

Deku and Giulio fight the Quirk: Domain Expansion guy. This fight is dope because again, it's a shootout, and Izuku gets to show off what made him so good even before he had OFA i.e. his deduction skills as he figures out the Villains' Quirk and limitations and devises a plan to defeat them. Then the fight scene is ruined because once Izuku gets his Quirk back he just stomps them. I think the MHA-verse is just unsuited for fights or smth due to unbalanced Quirk matchups because it's insane how imo the best fight scene animated so far is still Deku vs Kacchan 2. (Part of this is attributed to Hori writing fights based more on emotion than actual choreography skill, hence the ton of flashbacks, but I digress.)

(There are no fight scenes for a good next hour or so because ha ha funny fan service dream sequence and Giulio traumadump, have fun watching exposition like nobodys business, then switch to pro hero POV, literally nobody cares)

Literally nobody cares about Tokoyami fighting waves of mobs after mobs after mobs in a colosseum all alone. Why did they have to add this in. What was the point. Can they not commit to having him team up with the origin trio or go back to Class 1-A. Who liked this part of the movie except when Bakugou makes the chuuni comment? Even Tokoyami's fight in Heroes Rising with Ashido was sicker. You couldn't even commit to a named Villain for him?? Fuck the writer and director. Tokoyami using Dark Shadow to break things/10 choreography.

The TodoBaku fight was the most disappointing shit ever. The fight is them spamming ice and explosions against a cool combo duo of Telekinesis and Teleportation, going 'Okay, I figured out his Quirk, let me say it out loud for the audience to hear' and then deciding to destroy everything in a five kilometre radius to bait the Villains into the air in the most telegraphed shit ever and finish in a OHKO. Where's the ingenuity? The tactics? The cool part about fighting a guy with teleportation is either you predict where he lands, or blitz before he can teleport. Sure, blasting everything to lure them into the sky is a tactic but it reeked of brute force. All the smarts Todoroki and Bakugou are known for, and this is the best they can do? Even Konan and Obito had a cooler execution with Konon attaching bombs to Obito to nullify teleportation and FLAT OUT TEN MINUTES CONSTANT BOMBING LIKE FUCK THATS COOL. The combination potential as Izuku suggested in A Piece of Cake short manga? I was so excited because people said there'd be a Todoroki and Bakugou team up, but all they did was spam their Quirks in a 1+1=2 thing, and not a 1+1=3 fight like Izuku and Bakugou had in Heroes Rising vs Nine 1.

Todoroki didn't even use a lot of his fire. He didn't combine his ice and fire sides. He just spammed the shit out of ice, but not even a mention of Flashfire Fist?? WHM had that AND Hell's Spider, what the hell is your excuse? Even Bakugou used (an unnamed) Howitzer Impact, jesus. All Todoroki can do is spam Heaven Piercing Ice Wall I guess. His most inspired ice scenes were the ones where he creates ice walls to try and block off Alchemy apocalpyse at the start of the movie (to no avail) and the one where he uses his ice to grow a tree-like structure to free Izuku. RIP Todoroki man.

Todoroki, Bakugou and Izuku team up against Dark Might is kinda bland despite the cool flashy animations and there's nothing much to say about it. It exists, I guess. Part of this is because there is no push-and-pull to the fight, but more about that later.

The second Todoroki, Bakugou and Izuku team up against Dark Might, Version 2 exists. Again, cool sakuga, couldn't see shit because Yutapon's animations make no sense, it exists again. Todoroki does a big move, then Bakugou does HIS big move, then it finishes with Izuku. Cool. Heroes Rising did this better, and that movie was nerfed by having Might+U play over some of the batshit crazy effects that would have benefited more from pow pow sfx than a calm singer track.

Izuku spamming all of his state-inspired moves (to Dark Might's idk 1 or 2 state-inspired moves) is not as cool as you think it is. United States of World Smash had a better execution.

Izuku doesn't use Gearshift, even against the Villain that spawns Domain Expansion that literally slows down all movement, which could have really helped IF ONLY IZUKU HAD A QUIRK THAT CAN SPEED UP THE MOVEMENT OF OBJECTS, JUST SAYING. But instead, noooooo, Fa Jin bullshit. I seriously believe that Fa Jin is the worst Quirk out of all the OFA, and that's counting Smokescreen, and that's because it's a cop out to giving Izuku free buffs faux 120% with no blowback like with Gearshift.

The writing and lack of suspension of disbelief:

The writing decisions make me want to slam my head in a wall. There were literally moments when I whispered 'What the fuck?' to myself in the theatre because of how badly some of the decisions the Villain makes were. There's this scene where after the Domain Expansion guy loses to Izuku, Dark Might shakes his head disappointingly and tells the guy 'All Might doesn't lose, so into the pit you go' and kills him via falling into a deep hole. This is the typical 'boss kills his henchmen to show how eeeeevil he is', but this falls so flat in so many areas and is horrendous in this particular instance. So let me lay it out to you.

Number one, this guy has probably one of the most overpowered Quirk in the MHA verse - HE HAS ERASURE. Yeah, you heard that. He can create a dome-shaped domain around him that nullifies all people's Quirks in the domain, and then exclude the immediate area around him so people in the immediate area around him get to keep their Quirks. The guy is the perfect support character. Literally if he was in the final battle in MHA he would have cooked AFO and Dabi, who have the power to level cities. The only reason Shigaraki isn't included in this list is because he cheats by having 'finger growth isn't a Quirk' bullshit plot powers.

So yeah. This guy is the number 1 support character you want on your side, with 0 attack but all the debuffing capabilities, and Dark Might sent him out to fight with 2 henchmen, and then when the henchmen get beaten up, blames the guy for not kicking Izuku's ass. My guy, Domain Expansion is a debuffing ability, not a combat ability, why are you blaming him for something out of his job scope?? AND THEN HE KILLS THE DOMAIN EXPANSION GUY. I... I can't. Dark Might would literally have won if he kept the Domain Expansion guy alive because with his Quirk Izuku, Bakugou and Todoroki just can't use their Quirks. They'd be useless. Absolute fodder. But nooooo, the script says to kill him.

And even more infuriating is that the narrative doesn't even try to justify this properly! Dark Might justifies it with 'we do not tolerate errors, goodbye' and also because he's clearly insane, but in a later sequence when the same thing happens to yet another henchman (the dream lady), what does he do? HE KEEPS HER ALIVE BECAUSE HER QUIRK IS STILL USEFUL TO HIM. I... I can't. What is this double standard? Why does he keep her alive and not the arguably also useful NULLIFYING QUIRK GUY except because THE NARRATION DEMANDS IT BECAUSE WITH IT THERE IS NO WAY FOR IZUKU AND CO. TO WIN???? The writers dug themselves into a hole by introducing a guy with such a busted Quirk and had no idea how to get out of this one other than 'yeah his boss kills him ig'. Jesus.

The large cast:

The insistence of giving everyone in the movie screentime backfired so much man. Heroes Rising had only three POVs in the final act, one for each boss: With Nine, Chimera, and Hair Lady. You're Next bites off more than they can chew with switching to five.

They did Endeavor sooooo dirty this movie man. Endeavor is arguably the guy with the most firepower (pun intended) in the MHA-verse, even outpowering the No1 Hero Star and Stripes in terms of pure energy blasts. There's this scene where he fires a Prominence Burn at the Alchemised ship. How much damage does he do? A small fraction of the ship chips off... and then it's instantly repaired. The ship isn't even pushed back or halt in its course or anything. Endeavor is useless as fuck. He keeps blasting anyway because he's a champ like that but man does the movie make him seem so weak in the face of this oh so might Villain just to hype him up and make it so 'attacks on the outside are useless, only the guys on the inside can defeat him'. Jesus. Endeavor does use a new move in Flare Circle though, which is dope as hell and I need to check the wiki for this later but basically he does precision blasting of a small area to carve out a chunk of the ship in a neat square without too much power because there are people standing directly behind where he's blasting.

Nobody gives a shit about Mirko blasting random mobs like bruh at least have her taking down a named villain or everything why did they have to dedicate more than 5 seconds to her kicking shit

The fights - the push and pulls:

What made Heroes Rising fights so tense and kept you on your seats were the push-and-pulls of the fights. The heroes have the upper hand, then the villains do, then it's back to the heroes, rinse and repeat. Nine gets the upper hand on Izuku, Izuku gets blown away - oh wait, Nine is suffering from cell degeneration, Izuku can do it, oh wait no Nine busts out a new Quirk shit Izuku is fucked, oh hell YES BAKUGOU, oh hell no, Nine has a new Quirk, oh we get bailed out for a round 2 in the future.

All the small (non-important) fights in You're Next basically have 2 acts. The first act, the set up of the villain where both sides spam their moves. The second act, where the villain obviously has the upper hand but then the heroes pull out their one big blast and win. Where's the drawn out sequences? The strategic battles of mind games? The second forms? Even Chimera in Heroes Rising had a beast mode, and Todoroki planning the ice finisher, and the blade twins in WHM had Trigger, and Bakugou rigging a explosive sequence to collapse a pillar on them.

Todoroki, Bakugou and Izuku weren't even badly hurt by Dark Might - it's the resulting whirlwind from Anna's Quirk going out of control that somehow takes them out of the fight. Dark Might isn't visibly 'injured' until Izuku does the final blow, and then he goes down for the count. And this happens in both fights. So there is effectively no push and pull, no 'breather' moment for the audience to gasp as the heroes are injured, no moment where the audience cheers for the heroes to get up and rally themselves, and then win with an all out attack.

And why does this happen, you may ask? Because the movie wants to save the climax for Anna and Giulio's scene. The climax is inarguably when Giulio finally reaches Anna and hugs her, activating her Quirk which boosts his Quirk to nullify hers forever in the most telegraphed shit ever since you know that 1. Quirk awakening/evolution exists and Bakugou who could once fire explosions from his palms can do it from all over his body now and 2. Anna's Quirk boosts and transforms Quirks.

Literally the moment Giulio prayed for his Quirk to work while touching her with his right hand, I thought, Oh, he's going to experience a Quirk Awakening and be able to nullify powers with his left hand or some deus ex bullshit because that's the only way the movie can end. And what happens? Giulio becomes compatible with Anna and now he can neutralise her Quirk just by touching her, and in fact he neutralises her Quirk forever Quirk-bullet style so both of them are effectively 'Quirkless'. And because the audience is too stupid to notice this via context clues, he has to say this out aloud in a tell-not-show fashion later on.

Izuku blitzes all his fights in one big smash and it's not even close. Alchemy guy wrapped Izuku up in a bunch of metal pipes to give Giulio and Anna their 'do it, stab Giulio' 'you thought it would be Anna resisting the dream Quirk by force of sheer love, but no, it was I, Endeavor, rocking this ship! (I hate the director)' moment. Izuku could have broken out of there no problem goddammit he has a goddamn strength Quirk backed up with Fa Jin he could use on his fingers since his hands are free.

Can we not rely on Yutapon?

Ever since Heroes Rising I've thought that Yutapon's sequences are too hard to decipher and are only touted as good because they make use of bright colours and flashy rocks to trick the viewer. The only sequences I really liked of his were his work on Deku vs Kacchan 2, Endeavor UFO into plank for the funny part (fight-choreography wise it took me out of the seriousness of the situation), Todoroki vs Deku in Sports Festival, Bakugou wave dashing across Kamino to grab Kirishima's hand, and the short cut in Heroes Rising where OFA!Bakugou dips his hand into rock and turns it into molten lava. (Idk whether he helped with the helicopter fight scene of WHM but that was pretty dope too though the sudden animation drop with Todoroki's entrance was too obvious.) The rest of his animated scenes kinda suck actually? I don't know why people praise it like he's the god or something. He's good, but not that good.

The MHA characters feel like side characters to the OCs

Class 1-A are side characters. The pro heroes are side characters. Todoroki and Bakugou are side characters. Izuku is a side character. Giulio is the main fucking protagonist of the movie and it's not even close.

Funnily enough, I believe the MHA-verse character who was the most well-utilised in this show in proportion to their screentime is actually Mirio. Guy turns up at a desperate situation, his presence immediately brightens the mood and brings hope to everyone, things start to look up. What a guy.

And also All Might, especially in the scene where he confronts Dark Might with a truly touching moment of 'You do not embody my ideals, and those who do not look like me and are weaker than you embody them more than you do, strength lies not in a single individual but in a generation of people working together, achieving where I failed society as a Symbol of Might', but I think if the movie somehow managed to screw up All Might of all people I'd drop it to a 5/10.

Overall, would not recommend others to watch. Would only rewatch for the Bakugou quips and maybe to see if the TodoBaku is better on rewatch. Alright, that's all for now, but if I have any other thoughts maybe I'll edit this post or put it in a different post. Peace.

*EDIT: I FORGOT TO MENTION. Bakugou never addresses Izuku by his name in this movie, only his hero name, which is a massive letdown. 0/10 movie for real :(

[infiniteglitterfall]

This is especially aggravating and awful because this was tagged "shitting on Ukrainians does nothing for Palestine or Congo" and like. First of all, who the FUCK shits on Ukrainians?!

Second, it has been almost 6 months and while I HAVE seen pro-Palestine folks occasionally mention Sudan or Congo, my terminally-online ass has yet to see one (1) person mention that China has been putting Muslims in literal motherfucking concentration camps since at least 2017. They'll claim Gaza is a concentration camp, but they won't do shit about the real ones.

And third, I goddamn guarantee that if I whipped up a PARTIAL list of things Russia has done in Ukraine, and presented it to them without country names, they would be absolutely SURE it was a list of things Israel has done in Palestine. It would IMMEDIATELY become the latest outrage porn to make the rounds:

Targeting large cities one at a time, and cutting them off from all communication with the outside world, both so people would panic and so that troops could do whatever they wanted to the people there.

Bombing civilian hospitals, supermarkets, theaters, etc for no reason, not even a plausible-deniability cover story. Bomb craters 7 meters (23 feet) deep and 50 meters (164 feet) across.

[I can't find info on how deep the largest bomb craters in Gaza are, but they're 12 meters (39 feet across. The headline on that called them "the biggest bombs," so idk what Russia is using to make craters 4 times as big.]

Troops laying the body of a dead civilian at the entrance to a hospital, so that civilians have to walk past it every time they come or go.

Elaborate disinformation campaigns designed to discredit any report of war crimes, and a constant campaign of lies demonizing the people under attack.

Once the city is fully occupied, any remaining locals must live in their bombed-out houses. They're not allowed medical assistance.

Deliberately, completely, and permanently destroying all water, electricity, internet access, food supplies, and all television, radio, and cell towers.

[Gaza got half its electricity from Israel before the war, and 7% of its water. Hamas was stockpiling a shit-ton of fuel for itself that should have been earmarked for the generators at desalination plants and hospitals. Hamas was also burning through Gaza's visible fuel supplies to fire rockets and power its tunnels. And stealing from fuel sent in as aid.]

No evacuation route, only dozens of military checkpoints to drive through across the country. At each one, the men in the car are forced to get out, strip to their waists, get out their documents, and line up for inspection.

Systematically destroying any street sign, statue, mural, building sign, plaque, etc that uses the local language or even makes reference to the local culture or history. Replacing all of them with the occupier's language, culture, and history, erasing the invaded people entirely.

Changing the time zone, TV and phone networks, and school curriculum to those of the occupying country.

Killing an estimated 75,000 civilians in three months, in one city alone.

Demolishing the remaining, heavily damaged residential buildings, where locals are still trying to live, and giving them nowhere else to go.

Providing new apartments for a few locals, but only people who are elderly, have disabilities, or have become affiliated with the occupation.

Patrolling the streets with riot police to prevent protests over the complete lack of heat, electricity, and water under the occupation.

I think I just reached my last straw on internet/social media activism

If someone is posting about their experience in a war in X country it’s absolutely insane behavior to comment “what about the war in Y country! They have it worse!” “If you think you have it bad, look at Y country they (awful horrific things that are also happening in X country)” “you deserve it because X country did this”. If you do this shit you’re a bad person and you don’t actually care about your cause, you care about feeling right.