#like. i love female masculinity and gender non-conformity

[ekingston]

you wanted horny anons, here's one: got any thoughts about a bodybuilder!kara (no powers) and a lena who reeeeaally likes those big strong muscles? and maybe loses it a little when kara wears a sleeveless shirt around her? (if you don't feel comfortable posting horny content/don't want to respond to this, no worries, and have a nice day!!)

you’re perfectly fine anon, i assume every single one of you is horny unless otherwise specified on account of the kind of things i tend to write and draw HOWEVER—and i’ll admit it’s 100% my own fault that we’re here because i have definitely written lena thirsting after kara’s physique—as a writer i feel kara’s muscles are actually the least interesting thing about her? so i’m afraid writing anything more than my usual passing references to this dynamic wouldn’t likely be very enjoyable for me or ring very true to you!

[butchpeace]

Hey, I am a new follower here and uhhh.. I just want to ask you how did you manage to get rid of your gender dysphoria?

I never did transition and probably never will be able to because it is illegal in the country I currently live in. But the gender dysphoria remained there for years (8) even if I accept the fact that I will never be able to change my sex, along with my homosexuality.

So maybe it is a difference in experience, with me not being able to experience the harmful placebo of the "right body", but seeing other people expressing how they got themselves cured of severe mental distress makes me wish I knew how to do that.

So, thats why I want to ask, what lead to the cure of gender dysphoria? If it is a correct way to put it.

I don’t know if you’re male or female, but I assume female?

It’s less about “getting rid” of dysphoria and more about understanding what “gender dysphoria” actually is. That differs from person to person, but for most people it’s a combination of things.

For me it was:

1) The pain of growing up female in a world that either treated me as inferior or objectified me. Plain old misogyny.

2) The pain of growing up gay in a homophobic religion and society. Being basically taught during childhood that I was fundamentally different and wrong did a number on my ability to love myself. I’m 33 and it wasn’t until recently that I had any kind of self love.

3) The confusion of growing up gender non-conforming. Not feeling like I could relate to my female peers, feeling like an outsider, never meeting people like me or having any role models who I could see myself in. I didn’t have any kind of blueprint for what my life could be like as an adult - my only reference points for what life as a masculine lesbian would be were negative.

4) The constant anxiety of walking through the world as a gender non-conforming girl, and the way people treated me and acted around me. People don’t treat you well when you’re androgynous or clearly gay, and that led to anxiety and disliking being around people.

5) Feeling like I would be more lovable as a man, as it relates to relationship dynamics and gender roles.

Once I separated the feelings I was having from the idea of “gender dysphoria” as a stand-alone condition, I was able to see them individually for what they really are.

Those feelings were a normal response to being who I was in the world that I lived in.

Is my “gender dysphoria” cured? Depends how you look at it. Being female is still hard. Being a masculine lesbian is still hard. The way people look at me and treat me is still anxiety inducing. But none of that means I’m “supposed” to be a man, for some mystical reason that no one can scientifically explain. And I can work on improving things like my anxiety and self esteem individually.

To put it simply, being “trans” is the same thing as being butch. It’s all the same feelings women have always had, they’re just medicalizing it now instead of helping us learn to love ourselves. The only way to fix it is to build community, especially intergenerational community, and be with each other and be role models for each other.

Hope that helps! 🌈

[your-gay-grandma]

Butch/Femme history and culture introduction (written by a femme lesbian, deeply in love with being so)

💖Ideal for people immersing themselves in lesbian culture for the first time

🤍This post will contain brief summarising information about butch/femme culture and history as well as an introductory resource list for continuing your learning journey.

🧡It is by no means exhaustive and is intended as a very basic and simplified introduction that people can and should easily build on. Please try to keep this intention in mind before telling me i have neglected something!

⚠️ Disclaimer - this post is admittedly very centred on butch/femme history of the US and western culture in the 1900s. If there is a different culture or time that you’d be interested to learn more about, I would be overjoyed to research it so please let me know! Lesbianism has existed everywhere in every time and the cultural variation of this is beautiful and SO important. I do not want to neglect that but cannot fit it all in this brief introduction post.

“Whether reclaiming femininity from the male gaze or rejecting feminine gender norms by embracing butch, the subculture is intrinsically radical: it empowers lesbians to renounce patriarchal standards of beauty.” - Megan Christopher

What is butch/femme?

butch/femme is a lesbian subculture with a deep and rich history and culture. It goes far beyond masculine and feminine aesthetics and informs lesbian identity and dynamics. Butch/femme culture is a crucial part of LGBTQ+ history and culture as a whole.

It has existed for a very long time but it is very important to know that not all lesbians are butch/femme. In fact, most lesbians will not identify with either label and that is completely okay! You will see some lesbians describe themselves as butch4butch or femme4femme.

Traditionally, there is nothing in between butch/femme and to suggest otherwise negates the rich significance of the identities. Some people suggest it is a spectrum with “futch” in the middle. This is however not the case and the significance of this will become clear as we delve further into the importance of butch/femme identities to queer culture and history. Crucially too, straight women cannot be butch/femme

Aren’t butch/femme just replicating traditional heterosexual gender roles?

Absolutely not! In fact, they outwardly challenge them.

Gender and sex are constructs. A lot of lesbians find that butch/femme are gender identities in of themselves (myself included)

Instead, butch/femme are identities that encapsulate a particular “performance” of gender. The attributes of these may seem “masculine” or “feminine” but this is only because of the strict gender binary our society ascribes to gender performance.

Judith Butler, in their book Gender Trouble, notes that a lot of lesbians in general have a complex relationship to gender. This is because our binary perception of womanhood is constructed on the basis that “male” is default and “female” is the only sexed other. Because lesbianism is the only identity that totally de-centres men, a lot of lesbians (regardless of being butch, femme or neither) will not feel like they are conventionally “women”.

A lot of the time, butch/femme roles were and still are a source of safety and solace

Butch

Butch refers to masculinity in any number of ways

Butches typically and historically face high levels of discrimination and harassment for their gender non conformity.

A very important butch text is Stone Butch Blues, written by Leslie Feinberg

In the book, Feinberg discusses the importance of working-class identities to butchness.

Some butches are transmasculine. This doesn’t make them less of a lesbian, as long as they have ties to butchness and lesbianism.

Stone butches are lesbians who do not like to be touched (or “receive”) during sex

Femme

Femmes are lesbians who present more “femininely”.

Femmes do not necessarily conform to society’s perception of womanhood. Many will have complex relationships to gender identity or will present as hyper-feminine.

Hyper-femininity is an exaggerated performance of womanhood where aspects of dress, character and/or mannerisms of femininity may be heightened.

This is why a lot of the time lesbians can still “clock” (or recognise) femmes as being gay. Straight women tend to feel put off by the level of femininity common with hyper-feminine femmes.

History

In western culture, butch/femme culture existed underground or secret up until the mid 20th century. We can assume however that butch/femme dynamics have existed for a long time.

In the early 1900s, butch/femme dynamics were confined to underground gay bars.

In this case, femmes were often considered in a position of privilege as they were “straight passing” and could only be recognisably lesbian when accompanied by a butch.

Femmes will often assert sexuality through their femininity.

In the 1940s, butch/femme dynamics were extremely important and a thriving part of lesbian culture.

Women were allowed to enter bars without men.

In the US, butches would have to dress femininely in order to hold employment and avoid harassment and assault based on their preferred gender non-conformity.

Butches dressed in a way that was accepted by society, while still presenting as more masculine than the norm. Alix Genter writes that "butches wore long, pleated skirts with their man-tailored shirts, sometimes with a vest or coat on top"

In the 1950s, many butches refused to live these double lives. Their full-time masculine presentation made it difficult for them to work so they were often employed in factories or as taxi drivers. (hence the importance of working-class solidarity with butches)

Increased lesbian visibility and a strong anti-gay political stance at the time of McCarthyism led to increased attacks on queer women and resulted in a particularly defiant gay bar culture.

Butches are therefore extremely important in our fight for LGBTQ+ rights. It was butches and trans women who were known for fighting back for our rights and visibility.

In the 1970s, particular sentiments of lesbian separatist feminism declared masculinity and butchness was harmful to women. This led to the popularisation of more androgynous fashion amongst lesbians including boots, jeans and flannels. This movement weakened butch identifiers and is known for alienating lesbians of colour and working class lesbians.

Lesbian separatism is essentially the idea that lesbians should exist separate to men and heterosexual women. That is why some theorists believed performances of masculinity were harmful (while others did not believe this and it is obviously not true)

Introductory reading list (online articles that are short and accessible)

how butch/femme subcultures allow gay women to thrive by Megan Christopher for VICE: https://www.vice.com/en/article/wjwzqx/how-butch-femme-subcultures-allow-gay-women-to-thrive

A good introduction to the radical history and importance of butch/femme identities.

The Lesbians That Founded The Gay Village And The Mafia Alliance They Made For Protection by Diana Robertson: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-lesbians-that-founded-the-gay-village-and-the-mafia_b_5941d7a1e4b0d99b4c921126

Really helpful history!

No Matter What’s Gendertrending, the Butch is Here To Stay by Jack Halberstam

https://web.archive.org/web/20180907141513/https://www.afterellen.com/tv/443117-no-matter-whats-gendertrending-the-butch-is-here-to-stay

I don’t like the suggestion of the title but the article itself has good information. Jack Halberstam is an important queer theorist. I also recommend his writings on queer failure. This article has some generally good direction about butchness, especially in modern media. “Butch is always a misnomer; masculine but not male, female but not feminine, the term serves as a placeholder for the unassimilable, for that which remains indefinable or unspeakable within the many identifications that we make and that we claim.”

Key books for a deeper understanding (and their pros and cons)

The Persistent Desire: A Femme–Butch Reader by Joan Nestle

Gender Trouble by Judith Butler (one of my favourite books of all time. Really difficult to get through but very worthwhile and completely changed the way I understand sex and gender)

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg (an incredibly important lesbian text. Can be very difficult to get through, especially emotionally. Please make sure to check triggers before reading)

Dagger: On Butch Women by Lily Burana

[downbadspanishlad]

WARNING: Some of the following content may be slightly triggering due to discussion of abuse and trauma. Please don't read further if reading about that stuff could possibly hurt you! You're valid!

Masculinity in Baldur's Gate 3:

As a trans guy who didn't have friendly male rolemodels growing up, the male companion characters in Baldur's Gate 3 mean so much to me.

While Astarion is clearly my favorite, I have a huge amount of love and appreciation for all the companion characters (male and female). But it's the several types of masculinity the male companion characters have that offer something for male and/or masculine folks like me to aspire to (in some way or another).

Disclaimer: I've unfortunately not had the time to interact much with Minsc, therefore I won't be including him in this post, but he seems like a lovely and cool dude overall, so please don't take his absence as a sign of me not liking him.

Astarion:

Astarion's interest in murder/violence and being mean at times are definitely not things to aspire to, but I do understand why he does what he does. His trauma is no excuse for his actions, but they do explain a lot (He also becomes much kinder as you progress through his story, revealing that he's actually a pretty kind hearted dude that puts up a rough exterior as a method of defense).

I really like Astarion for a lot of reasons. The first reason is the fact that he is a masculine character that is ALSO an explicitly queer, slightly effeminate man with trauma.

In terms of being "explicitly queer," I mean this clip from this video:

As someone who doesn't neatly fit into the stereotype of being a "MANLY man", let alone society's expectations of what it means to be a "real man," Astarion's effeminate nature is something I deeply appreciate. 

(Note: That's not me trying to insinuate that trans guys me aren't 'real men.' It's solely about commenting on how men who are trans, hell - even cis dudes who are gender non-conforming, are often told they're 'not real men').

Astarion's very theatrical in his demeanor, and it's one of the things I love most about him. He's hilarious, he's fun, and he's able to be the way he is without being shamed and emasculated for it. I grew up and currently live in an area where being as theatrical and fun as Astarion is something that can get you shamed or even physically hurt for not being "man enough" in that way. 

I've also often felt very insecure in my masculinity for being queer and possibly being "not masculine enough" for people. Don't get me wrong - being gay is epic (and gay people are epic), but it has absolutely nothing to do with a person's gender or how they express themselves. Toxic masculinity, however, is something that suggests otherwise, and I'd be lying if I said I'd never felt insecure in my masculinity because of my sexuality (I admit that it's something I'm still working on too). But that's exactly why I love the fact that Astarion lives in a world where he can be as flamboyant, expressive, and as queer as he wants while still being seen as masculine.

I also love that bi/pan erasure is (overall) not a thing regarding the ladies of the BG3 fandom. Astarion is especially popular amongst the girls and the gays, and I think that's EPIC! I really love that Astarion lives in a world where he doesn't have to worry about people saying that his sexuality isn't a real or valid thing. It's really awesome, and I love that the women of the BG3 fandom (straight and LGBT) are completely cool about it.

And I definitely don't want to equate my trauma with anything Astarion has been through (especially as someone who isn't a survivor of sexual violence or physical abuse), but I also really love Astarion as a character because I find a lot of comfort in how Astarion's trauma is dealt with in his story.

So long as you (the player) treat him with the respect and dignity he deserves, Astarion is never shamed or made to feel "less than" for his trauma. The story of his trauma is treated with proper respect and care, and I absolutely love that. 

He makes me feel less alone and weird for how my own experience with abuse has left me with inner demons that I've yet to overcome. Like him, I experience night terrors due to my trauma. It's a very scary thing to deal with. And as a man, it makes me feel very small, ashamed, and pathetic. But seeing Astarion go through it and not having that be something he's shamed for is something I deeply appreciate. I know he's fictional, but seeing a character as cool as him going through that too makes me feel less alone and weird for it.

Wyll:

Wyll is a close second favorite character of mine. He's just an awesome, epic, badass guy! He's the kind of man I aspire to be. He does everything he can to help others, he cares deeply about doing what's right, he's a huge nerd/dork, and he's got the biggest heart amongst the companion characters (which says a lot in my opinion since he's got Karlach and Halsin as stiff competition for that category). He's very cool and lovely, and I really hate seeing how underappreciated he is as a character.

I absolutely love the meme of people saying that Wyll was the only origin character to dust himself off and head back to doing what he was doing before getting kidnapped and infected by the mindflayers. This man is too selfless and rad to take a break from teaching the tiefling children in Emerald Grove.

I do want to give credit for this meme to this cool dude called Azeem (aka Black Purist).

As well as this post here on Tumblr.

Gale:

I'll admit, I didn’t really care for Gale at first. But the more I got to know him, the more I realized that this dude is (most certainly) on the spectrum. That's not a canon thing, but I absolutely believe that he is. It's not a bad thing either (and I say that as someone who is also autistic). Honestly, realizing that many of his traits are autistic recontextualized certain things about him and helped me like him way more.

I'm not happy to admit this, but I think I didn't like Gale much at first because he reminded me a lot of myself (due to his autistic characteristics). That's some internalized ableism that I need to work on lmao. Anyways, after doing some self-reflection and giving his character a proper chance, I realized that Gale is actually really cool.

I really appreciate how straightforward Gale is as a communicator. The dude puts everything out in the open, for better or worse. He has no ulterior motives and does his best to make his intentions very clear. Love him or hate him, Gale is a dude you're not afraid of (unless you're a bad guy or something).

I also appreciate how passionate the man is about the stuff he's dedicated his life to (magic, which is most certainly his special interest). Gale is also very kind and open-minded, a good example of this being what he has to say about Astarion's vampirism.

Overall, Gale is an excellent man, and I really appreciate the sort of masculinity that his character represents.

Halsin:

So long as you save him and the Emerald Grove, Halsin is totally chill with you from the first moment you meet him. He's very kind, upfront, and non-judgemental, which is pretty cool.

I also really appreciate how much he cares about consent. Halsin is polyamorous, and if he expresses romantic interest in the player character and the player character happens to already be in a relationship, he makes sure to not pursue anything without the expressed consent of both the player character and their partner. 

I know caring about consent is a bare minimum thing to do, but unfortunately there are still a lot of people irl who don't care about it, which is why I greatly appreciate how Halsin (and also BG3 as a game) treats consent as an essential, inherent part of romantic and sexual relationships. Very cool, indeed!! 😎💖🌟💫

[cinderella-ish]

Fruits Basket Queer Headcanons

The more I watch and read Fruits Basket, the more I get the sense that no one is straight here. Well... almost no one. So, in honor of pride month, here are my queer headcanons for the cast of Fruits Basket!

(Disclaimer that these are my own personal headcanons, obviously nothing official, etc... I try to draw on evidence from the text, but I'll admit I'm occasionally going purely off vibe. Also, I'm bi and genderfluid, so that's the lens I'm bringing to this. I'd love to hear your headcanons, especially if they differ from mine! Enjoy!)

Genderfluid and/or genderqueer: Ayame and Ritsu

I (probably somewhat controversially) think a lot of the gender non-conformity among Fruits Basket characters is just that: gender non-conformity. Momiji is one example; he dresses in girls' clothing (though not "like a girl") until his growth spurt, but it seems important to him to be seen as a man from at least that point forward.

Ritsu is someone whose gender identity and/or nonconformity really should've been explored more in the manga - as written, it feels like Ritsu's exploration of gender was viewed as something he'd grow out of, rather than a search for understanding himself. He doesn't really seem to mind being identified as either male or female, though he obviously feels a lot of shame about his comfort with wearing women's clothes (though no one around him when we meet him really seems to mind, which is nice-- I also appreciate that Ritsu was shown to have friends who adore him outside of the Sohmas). Anyway, the fact that he seems okay with being referred to as both a man and a woman is the entire basis for this headcanon.

Ritsu also idolizes Ayame, and I think part of this stems from Ayame's own security in his non-traditional gender presentation. We don't really get a lot of Ayame's thoughts on gender, despite his line of work, but he strikes me as the sort of person who would enjoy playing with his own gender presentation and would be more than open to exploring his gender identity (and probably has!). I think Ayame would lean more toward having an expansive view of masculinity rather than dressing more feminine when he feels more feminine, but I also think he would embrace the different ways people might perceive his gender.

Transgender Woman: Akito Sohma

This I think is quite clear in canon. Akito was assigned male at birth, then transitioned to female.

What makes it hard for some people to see Akito as trans is that the reason she was assigned male at birth was not the typical reason people are assigned male at birth in our world (it was her mother's demand, rather than a guess based on the shape of her genitals), but I don't think that makes her any less trans.

Under the Ace and/or Aro Umbrellas

This umbrella is a little tricky for several of these characters, because they've been forbidden from dating, or had very controlling parents, or thought they'd only hurt anyone they loved, so they haven't necessarily had time to figure out whether they've just repressed that part of themselves or they just don't experience attraction at all/without a strong emotional connection first. (Not everyone needs time to figure that out, though!) But anyway, here's who I think would eventually find themselves under at least one of these umbrellas!

Asexual/Aromantic: Kazuma

I love the tidbit that Kazuma tried dating women, but talked so much about Kyo that he never got a second date. I like the interpretation of him as a gay man, but to me, he reads as asexual/aromantic. Dating just doesn't even seem to be on his radar!

Demisexual/Demiromantic: Kyo, Shigure, Machi

A lot of the fandom sees Kyo as demi, and I'm totally here for that interpretation of him. He generally seems annoyed by or frightened of girls who aren't Tohru (frightened either when there's a risk of transforming, or when Kagura is involved). Also, it's CUTE that Kyo takes after his dad (Kazuma) in this way.

At first blush, it seems very unlikely Shigure is under the ace umbrella, but I couldn't stop thinking about his brief relationship with Mayu. He's the one who suggested they date, yet he seemed completely disinterested in her. He did sleep with Ren, but that was only for revenge and because he imagined Akito would look like her if she'd been allowed to grow up as a woman. I genuinely believe all his "high school girls" ickiness was an act, much like most of his personality.

It doesn't seem like Machi can totally tell if/when she likes something (or someone!). This makes me wonder if she's just never had feelings for anyone before Yuki.

Demiromantic: Rin, Hiro

Rin seems open to sexual relations with people other than Haru, but I genuinely can't see her having romantic feelings for anyone other than him. I see Hiro similarly with respect to Kisa. I think, if they ever split, it would take an extremely long time for him to even be open to falling for someone else.

Under the Bi/Pan+ Umbrella

So, I'm not making a distinction between these two (and other orientations that fall under the same umbrella, like poly- or omnisexual) because that seems like a very personal, internal conversation. I know some people make a distinction between the way bi and pan people experience attraction, but some don't, and that feels too prescriptivist for my purposes here. So, these are characters who I think experience attraction to multiple genders!

Tohru obviously falls for Kyo, but she also thinks Akito is cute, she thinks Rin is "shapely" and "beautiful" (her words!), and she goes along with it when Saki talks about them getting married.

Yuki ends up with Machi (and I love them together!) but I think Kyo was his first crush. His arc is also very relatable for a lot of queer folks (myself included!). And he's a disaster. Long live bisexual disaster Yuki Sohma!

Shigure is tricky, because the flirtation between him and Ayame could just be a joke, but I personally think it's a joke that arose out of some fun nights spent together...

Akito obviously likes men, but she also flirts with Tohru when they first meet.

Saki talks about marrying both Tohru and Kazuma. She's probably joking about Kazuma, but she's generally a very literal person, so I don't think she's joking about Tohru. She also marries a foreigner canonically, and that foreigner is probably a man.

Momiji talks about finding an amazing sweetheart-- not an amazing wife or girlfriend!!-- one day. I think he was being very intentional in not specifying his future partner's gender.

Hatori is the one I feel least sure of, but my headcanon is that he gets so annoyed and embarrassed by Shigure and Ayame because he doesn't want anyone to know he was totally part of at least a few of those trysts...

Mutsuki and Hajime are definitely together, right? And it seems like the fandom mostly sees Mutsuki as bi, which... yeah, that tracks.

Hatsuharu's first love was Yuki, and his last love was Rin.

Kakeru has a girlfriend, but for some reason, I have it in my head that he always refers to Kyo as Yuki's "hot cousin"? Did I just imagine that? Anyway... even if I did make that up, I think his backstory is a great analogy for the experience of coming out. He was trying to fit in a box and decided he was done with it. Pure chaotic bi energy.

For Ayame, see Shigure and Hatori above. (Also, “I am a bottom ALL THE WAY!!!”)

Mine is admittedly here just based on vibes.

Mitsuru likes Ritsu even though she's not entirely sure of Ritsu's gender!

Kimi is also here purely based on vibes.

Gay and Lesbian

Hiroshi has always struck me as gay. I can't really explain it. I usually have absolutely awful gaydar, so it's odd that he gives me such clear gay vibes. I wrote him as gay in my longfic, Bloom Within Us, and I'll probably always write him as gay.

President Takei obviously has a crush on Yuki. We don't really see him show interest in anyone else (partially because he's such a minor character). He also seems to still be a bachelor in Another, which could be because he can't legally marry yet...

My headcanon that Kunimitsu is gay kind of popped up as I was writing Bloom Within Us. There's no particular reason, and he doesn't give me strong gay vibes or anything.

Hajime and Mutsuki are definitely a couple! (Right?!) And it seems like most of the fandom sees Hajime as gay which... yeah, I can get behind that.

Akimoto (Arisa's senpai from her gang) is another character who gives me such strong vibes that I thought it was canon that she was a lesbian. Whoops. Anyway, I headcanon that Akimoto is gay, and referenced that in one of my oneshots.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Controversial omission: Arisa Uotani. She says she likes Kureno because he reminds her of Tohru, but she doesn't like Tohru? Yes, she gives me major queer vibes but this to me points to her being straight. Also, based on the way she reacts to her friends developing crushes or falling in love (and the way they react to her falling in love), I don't think there's anything between her and Saki or her and Tohru (as much as I love fics that pair her with Saki!). I also think not every relationship with lots of physical affection and strong feelings of love has to be romantic.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading my queer headcanons! This has been in my drafts for months, so I'm really glad Pride Month gave me a reason to finish this post!

Happy Pride!

[nyahuaisang]

@reidhershel put this accurate af take in the tags of my post about heavenly delusion being a genderqueer series and I just wanted to further elaborate on it as the original post has a nsfw label because it does talk about topics such as intersex and the such so most people don’t see it. Please turn your nsfw filter off if you want to read it.

Anyways what you need to know is that a) there is a boy who’s consciousness was transplanted into a girl’s body and b) a group of children has been raised within a facility with no concept of gender their entire lives with at least half of them being biologically intersex and one of the children who has female features has been presented to the viewers by author as more male-presenting or androgynous and is referred to as “a young boy” in the manga’s synopsis.

Because of these more unorthodox executions of queer characters there is already a multitude of discourse from both anti-lgbt bigots as well as some of the lgbt+ community itself purely because of how unorthodox it is. Like Reid says, many people invalidates Kiruko(the boy who’s in a girl’s body)‘s queerness because of his unorthodox situation and a lack of explicitly statement that he is trans or queer I can imagine some people also invalidating Tokio in a similar way.

Cishet characters get to be cishet despite never once stating they are cishet. A male character kissing a female character is labeled hetero despite never saying they’re straight. A cis character is labeled as cis, again, despite never saying they are cis. So then why do queer characters have to explicitly state they are queer if they are already exhibiting queer traits?

A girl character should not have to explicitly be stated that she is gay or bi or pan if we see her kissing another female character. A gender neutral or non-binary character should not have to be explicitly stated as such if it is shown that they do not have a concept of gender. A character who has been presented as androgynous or masculine should not immediately be labeled a girl just because they have boobs. A trans boy should not have to be labeled as trans if he literally says he has a boy’s mind but within a girl’s body. A queer character should not need to state he is queer if he is professing his love to someone he knows is the same gender as him.

Cishet characters get to be as fantastical and magical and unorthodox and still be cishet so why are we trying so hard to strap queerness down to realism? Queerness has been discriminated against by almost every community and has had everything gatekeeped from it, please don’t gatekeep queerness itself from people and media you don’t deem as “queer enough” for you personally.

To be queer means to not conform to or being in line with what society’s expectations of gender or sexuality dictates you to and to then place expectations on that ideology itself, to place expectations on what being queer should be, goes against it entirely. It’s doing exactly what queer people are trying to break out of: having to fall in line with certain expectations to be seen as ‘valid’ in other people’s eyes.

Heavenly Delusion is a queer story, a really unique one where queer people gets to simply exist in a world instead of needing that world to be labeled as “queer” for them to be able to exist within in. It’s a chance for queerness to be normalized within media, don’t ruin this chance.

[theothergal]

Some time ago I made a post talking about a tweet about Eloise Bridgerton, where the OP said that she hoped that Eloise's friendship with Kate would eventually "teach" her that she can be herself and still do all the things she's firmly opposed to (like being feminine, getting married, having children ecc...) and I talked in general about some things that irk me of the whole NLOG discourse, but now I want expand.

A lot of people complaining about NLOGs say that they have nothing against gnc female characters, they just don't like HOW they are portrayed...and I believe them, but sometimes, the way they talk about the NLOG in question makes me wonder whether they are actually ok with a female character being gender non conforming, because the NLOG growth Is often associated with her overcoming her "internalized misogyny" by learning to love and embrace traditional femininity.

And I mean, sometimes It happens, but come on, you really think that every single tomboy/masc girl Is an internally misogynyst who just has to learn the joy of ✨girly girliness✨ to grow as a person?

And don't tell me I'm making things up, just look at the way people talk about NLOG characters, it's always:

"Ugh, another strong female character who doesn't like dresses and makeup, why cannot women be STRONG and FEMININE ?" (and then the female characters they're complaining about is a completely feminine woman with full makeup wearing *gasp* pants).

"Why cannot female characters be soft, kind and nurturing? Why do they always to act like men?" (Where acting like men means being...assertive, bold, loud, authoritative...yeah).

"I want a female character who rejects femininity because she has been forced to perform It all her life...and then she learns ✨on her own terms✨that actually makeup, pink ,dresses and embroidery are the Best Thing in the World and becomes the Girliest Girl that ever Girled™".

This is the argument that annoys me the most, the idea that a person who has been forced into femininity, if left free, will eventually start to love and perform it but "on her own terms", whatever that means. What if "her own terms" are never performing femininity again? Why do you struggle to understand that some people will NEVER like femininity, no matter how "gently" you push it on them? You really think that femininity Is only empowering and never traumatizing?

And then there's my favorite people *sarcasm alert*, the ones that say that female characters being masculine and acting "like men" (whatever that means) instead of being soft, kind and waifish Is unfeminist because It implies that women must reject femininity to be strong.

See what rubs me wrong? The fact that the complaints about NLOGs center the supposed "unfemininity" of the character, as if It's a bad thing by itself and as if female characters aren't overwhelmingly feminine.

And again, there's a conversation to be had about how femininity Is considered generally frivolous and women are expected to look effortlessly good, but I CANNOT take you seriously when you say that masc women dominate the media, when the icky masc women oppressing girly girls you're complaining about look like this:

ID 1: a picture of princess Peach from Super Mario. She's a girl with long, blonde hair and blue eyes, wearing a bright pink and white racing suit and holding a halberd. She has a determined expression.

ID 2 : a picture of Eloise Bridgerton from Bridgerton. She's a young woman with medium lenght wavy hair, Hazel eyes and white skin. She's wearing a pale green empire waist dress with puffy sleeves. She's standing and holding a book.

ID 3: a picture of Rhaenyra Targaryen from House of the dragon. She's a woman with long, straight light blonde hair, blue eyes and white skin. She's standing and wearing a long, black gown with gold and red embroidery with dragon motifs.

I'm not making up a strawman, I've seen way too many people complaining that alle the above characters are too masculine, and not just whiny conservatives. In fact, talking about HOTD, I find It quite interesting that people are complaining that Rhaenyra Is not feminine enough, but there are less complaints that Baela Is not a tomboy like she was in the book. In fact, I've seen several users say that Baela being more feminine Is better, becausebit shows that WoMeN cAn Be StRoNg AnD FeMiNiNe!!1!1!

It makes me think that your problem Is not feminine female characters being disparaged (as if masculine female characters aren't), but gnc female characters existing at all.

If you say that you have nothing against masc female characters, why would you make learning to love femininity and overcoming misogyny coincide?

Unless you think being uncomfortable with femininity Is misogyny by itself.

It seems to me that you only are ok with masc female characters as long as they return to femininity at the end of their story.

[were-bastard]

Avian Masculinity

Note: When I use male/female in this, I’m talking about two of the many facets of bird gender (as I experience it) since the English language lacks vocabulary that I find sufficient to describe these experiences in their own right.

This is quite long, the rest is under the cut:

I think that the masculine/male side of my gender is really neat, since it’s not fully like the traditional idea of (white, western) human masculinity. Unlike the stereotypical idea of a [male] bird, I (along with the rest of my species) am not sexually dimorphic.

However, having been raised as human- and internalizing both human and highly sexually dimorphic avian ideas of gender- my gender is a bit different than a typical gryphon of my species.

For example, I’ve internalized the male avian need to be boldly coloured, as well as flashy and loud. While from humans I acquired a desire to be somewhat more muted in colour, but still posses a certain volume and “take up space”.

When compared to other [sexually dimorphic] avians, I’m fairly drab- preferring darker, more muted colors, albeit of a moderately “brighter” variety (ie. teal, blues, et cetera)- but compared to a male member of my own species, I’m unreasonably bright and flashy.

Male members of my species are the same as the females in both size and appearance. Interestingly, we do share a need to “project” and sing (moreso trill) with [some] other avian males- a need which the females lack. Both sexes have subtle variations upon brown-ish plumage with slightly darker speckling, barring, and the like (comparable to something like a Great Horned owl or Short-Eared owl) in summertime and generally white plumage with faint markings in the winter.

Due to my other avian influences, however, I identify more strongly with somewhat higher contrast between the body and stomach feathers, as well as brighter coloured tidbits here and there (think the blue-green iridescence of a magpie or Cayuga mallard). I also- in this passably human body- enjoy wearing brightly coloured jewelry (usually of the blue or green variety) because it helps to simulate iridescent accents in my feathers and also assists in sating my need to hoard (gryphon hoarding instincts my beloved beloathed).

Due to being socialized as human and also having absorbed “bird gender”, the way I present my gender is likely to come off (to other members of my species) as strangely gnc- if presenting as [a] gender of another species can be considered gnc (it can)- as well as to humans.

When you combine both human and avian gender ideals, you get a strange sort of gender nonconformity that goes both ways. For instance, I’m a trans-man, but due to the nature of my gender and experiences, I consider myself to be Butch (in the gender way), as well as a same gender pairing bird (despite the fact that I like women & am not one* [& am also aroace]). But as a bird, I would be considered (by my species) to be gender nonconforming in an odd way (species non conformity?), while to other species of bird I would seem unusually “feminine” in colour and behaviour (my species tends to be less vocally excessive, and has more subdued display practices than some other bird species). *[Side note: this is not due to me having been originally assigned “female”, since agab is a social construct and is, quite frankly, ridiculous.]

A fascinating side affect of the way my human learnt gender and avian gender interplay is I retain a strangely cobbled together presentation of femininity. From the human idea of gender, my paternal urges to brood and take care of eggs seem uniquely feminine, as well as my love for jewelry. On the other talon, to birds my “dull” colouration and general lack of fancy feathers seems strangely hen-like (hen as in a female avian). Compared to human ideas of female-ness and femininity, I really enjoy this form of “feminine” gender.

Altogether, my nonhumanity makes my gender weird and it’s pretty cool :]

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

changing the sex marker on your id without even having to medically transition is so crazy like what do you mean there is a risk of „outing“. you haven’t even transitioned. its more confusing when you are clearly a feminine man/a masculine woman and then it says female/male on your id respectively. one of the dumbest things the trans movement is successfully pushing for.

i feel like homelessness, the sex industry and the actual discrimination, violence and harrassment gender non conforming people face (whether trans or not) and the resulting mental issues should be the focus of trans activism? you know, the actual marginalisation? im all for advocating housing and shelter projects and general accommodations for trans/gender dysphoric people and special work protection etc but instead the focus is on changing your birth certificate, denying material reality/sanctioning people who insist that sex matters, „misgendering“ and bashing feminism that is centering women, giving kids puberty blockers and generally promoting transitioning not as a last resort but the ultimate solution to gender dysphoria even though homophobia, body dysmorphia and misogyny as well as porn are the biggest driving forces.

no wonder liberal feminists love trans activism, it is just as superficial, useless and even harmful to the group they claim to advocate for. this shows especially in how they tend to support and defend the sex industry despite both women and gay and trans identified men being overrepresented and harmed, individually and as a group.

[thelostgirl21]

I wish there was a way to clearly say:

I'm personally comfortable being called a "woman", only because I have the sexual dimorphism typically associated with a female of the human species, and that's how other people see me as when they look at my physical appearance; nothing more.

While making 100% sure not to accidentally bring any harm to the trans community, or making it sound like one's gender identity should always match their physical appearance, when that's far from being the case.

Because, until very recently, I'd always been calling myself "a girl", or "a woman" exclusively based on how I physically look.

To me, defining myself as "a woman", has always been the equivalent of describing an external characteristic of my body that others are able to see.

- I'm a woman.

- I'm 5'7''.

- I have brown eyes.

- etc.

It's always been exactly the same to me. It's what you can physically see, not who I am.

Somehow, it's like I completely forgot to develop a sense of personal identity tied to "being a woman" while I was growing up.

I could wake up tomorrow with a body that has the sexual dimorphism of a male of my species instead, have everyone call me a man and suddenly have to live my life as one, and I'd have only ONE problem with it.

Just the one.

My partner is a heterosexual man, so that would be a challenge.

But otherwise, I think I'd just be really curious to explore the physiological differences between my prior body and my new body, and then move on with my life without changing a single thing to the things I like, my behavior in general, personal interests, probably the way I like to dress, too, etc.

I'd just be "looking more masculine" while doing it.

It would be like having blonde short hair instead of my current brown long hair.

The rest of the world would treat me differently as a man, sure! But that wouldn't reflect how I identify or feel inside about who I am.

Just how others now see me as and choose to socially treat me.

My gender, to me, is something that's always existed outside of myself.

I have no personal use for it, nor is it a part of my personality.

I guess I've often been gender-non-conforming, too, not because I was attempting to rebel against my own gender, felt a need to distance myself from the binary, or anything... But just because I've never seen the point of it.

I've had boyfriends telling me that it was like I wanted to be the "man in the relationship", and being upset that I wasn't letting them play their role at times (that hasn't really been an issue with women, oddly enough); and I broke up with them without looking back, because what the fuck was that even supposed to mean?

I wasn't trying to behave like a man or a woman, I was just being myself, and adopting the social roles and behaviors I'm comfortable with. If you can't love me as I am, then what am I supposed to do?

Younger, I've had little boys back at school telling me that "it was weird for a girl to like certain things or express herself a certain way", and my response has always pretty much been to shrug, go "guess I'm a weird girl then", and then continue doing things my way.

(Yes, I'm aware that I've been very privileged to live in a world where I've merely been occasionally bullied or suffered verbal micro-agressions for ignoring the social standards set for "little girls"... Then again, I've probably embraced some of them!

I loved playing with my "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe set", or walking around with a lightsaber pretending to be Luke Skywalker... But I was cool with "My Little Poney" (the originals) and "Rainbow Bright", too!

Like I said, I wasn't trying to be "non-conforming", I just liked whatever I liked!

I was also lucky enough that my parents fully allowed me to go for what I enjoyed in terms of toys, games, activities, playmates, etc., regardless of gender.

And my physical appearance as a child occasionally had people mistaking me for a boy. So, perhaps, the other adults that saw me behave as one in public assumed I was one, and thus put less pressure on me to behave in a way that would have been deemed more "feminine" than "masculine".

By the point I really started looking more "feminine" (like I do now), I guess I'd moved past caring about it, and/or had reached a point where it made no sense to me that it would suddenly have been upsetting that I occasionally behaved "as a boy" or enjoyed "boy things" now when, until then, it had always been perfectly fine and well accepted that I did!

I guess there's something to be said about the influence of early socialisation, and how adults in the social environment of a child respond to a young child's gender, in the level of importance they might instinctively give to it later on.)

Like, I'm pretty sure that, if I were to ask you to determine my gender based on my looks alone (while fully giving you permission to do it), especially when I'm performing on stage wearing makeup, you'd go "you're a woman!" with a fair level of confidence!

But that's just it! To me that's just the way I look. A stylistic choice based on the way my body chose to develop, if you will.

What drives me nuts, though, is that I have zero problem empathizing with the trans community and their need to express their own gender identity, because I know what it feels like to need to be seen and respected as one's authentic self!

You tell me you identify as a woman, a man, agender, genderfae, etc., and/or feel a need to express it? Be yourself, and rock that gender! It is who you are, and it is your right to own it!

The fact that I feel like I don't have any particular use or need for gender doesn't mean that it can't be important for others, and that they don't have a use or need for it themselves.

Just because I don't intimately understand it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist or doesn't matter. It doesn't mean that I can't support, and actively advocate for proper gender recognition and respect in schools and other public places.

I "get it" without "getting it", if you will.

The problem, however, is that I am extremely uncomfortable with the idea that, if I identify as a "woman", people will assume that it means more to me than "I physically look female".

That it will be assumed that I emotionally and psychologically connect with my gender, and feel a need to express it, or a sense of attachment and belonging to the woman gender.

After having called the way my physical body "looks" to others on the outside "being a woman" for decades, it's hard for me to suddenly go "being a woman is not the same as passing for a woman, it's about the gender you identify with inside..." and stop calling myself a woman, because I feel like I've no gender identity inside of myself.

But "agender" doesn't quite feel right to me, either, because I'd never had any problem with the idea of being a woman, until I learned that I was supposed to give a damn about being a woman, and personally connect with my gender, that is.

And "gender non-conforming" doesn't sound quite right, either, because I'm not trying to avoid conforming to the woman gender, or expressing a different gender than the one that was assigned to me at birth.

They basically gave me a gender based on my genitalia when I was born, and I went "Yeah, sure! I guess I can look the part... Why not?"; while ignoring the whole social instructions booklet and guidelines that went with it.

So lately, every time someone has asked me what my gender is, or what gender I identify with, I've had a tendency to freeze, panic, and mentally go:

Like the idea of my having a gender makes no internal sense to me. It's not something I can relate to, "vibe with", or identify with.

Is there a way to respectfully say "I'm calling myself a woman for convenience's sake, because that's the gender traditionally associated with the way I look, and I'm okay with having grown into a feminine appearance by default? But please, don't assume it means anything to me beyond that, or expect me to behave, dress, or do anything according to the woman gender."

I've been using "gender apathetic" in an attempt to convey it, but is that really what it means, and how most people understand it?

Basically, I feel like my answers to these questions would be:

- What physical look do you most resemble? Woman / feminine / female.

- What gender do you identify with? None.

- Do you feel comfortable being called a woman, and her / she pronouns, based on the way you look? Yes.

How do you freaking call or define that?

Non-internalized cisgenderism?

[balkanradfem]

how can i stop wearing makeup especially that i'm very ugly? i feel all these women who say its not hard they probably attractive but not only i am ugly but also gender nonconforming:( "i don't shave and very hairy, broad shoulder and very big nose and buzzcut" and sometimes i get told i look like a man but idc about looking masculine its being so ugly because i see beautiful women who are also masculine and i think whenever i hear radfem say dont wear makeup/women dont need makeup i feel im excluded and that if someone saw me there is no way they will tell me not wear makeup even my therapist said i should take care of how i look and wear makeup which is stupid and i left her but its the reality:( idk if im weak or it is impossible to survive being ugly gnc woman

I'm glad you left that therapist!

I wish I could offer you any decent advice, but I've never seen the world from your perspective, so I have no idea what would help. I've always considered myself ugly (mostly due to bullying) and was just fine with it, I thought it was an advantage because then all of the shallow people will stay away from me, and I won't have to deal with anyone who likes me only because of my appearance, which would change with age anyway.

All of the features you describe of yourself that make you feel ugly, sound attractive to me. I'm a lesbian and we love all that. Hairy, broad shoulders, looking gender non-conforming, having a big nose and buzzcut... I mean if you want to date just let me know. I don't think what people think is conveniently beautiful is actually pretty, to me it looks artificial, boring, flat, repetitive. You sound delightful.

I think it would be possible that a person who's been trough your struggle would understand exactly what you mean, why you feel so awful and like surviving while being considered ugly is a horrible experience, but I can't grasp the concept, I've genuinely never felt this. I am lucky to not have experienced it! But I also don't know how to help. I believe if we lived in a female-only society, you would see your features on most or all women, there would be no comparison to who is prettier or uglier because we would all walk around hairy, undisguised, with our noses being unapologetically big and crooked and not painted over. And I don't think any of us would feel self-conscious or bad about it!

I don't know the exact psychology of it, but I guess being exposed to so many painted-over and disguised human faces, which are called beautiful by the masses, can mess up your own perception of yourself. And if on top of that, people are bullying you and telling you to wear makeup, that would be devastating. I remember cutting out anyone who ever told me I should wear makeup or feminine clothing, I wouldn't hear of it.

I've never seen a woman I considered ugly, I don't think anyone has. I think women are sometimes treated as ugly, as an effort to change them, to make them feel inferior and unimportant. But we're not decoration, we're people. We don't have to look any type of way to be considered good enough. There is so much humanity, insight, intelligence, courage, kindness and wisdom in you. That's what matters! To people who care to know you, your face will become beautiful the more they look at you.

[disappointeddyke]

sis you can't be a lesbian if you call yourself non binary i'm a lesbian and find you toxic af like is their something wrong with just being a lesbian woman omfg ugh

Love how you couldn’t come off anon to say this lmaoooooo. Anyways, I understand these two identities sound contradictory…I really do. Up until a few years ago I also didn’t understand how someone who is nonbinary could simultaneously be a lesbian until I started learning more about our history. It can be difficult to understand unless it’s an identity that you live and exist in. I personally think it’s toxic af for you to tell someone that their identity is invalid when you have no idea whatsoever how it feels to exist in a nonbinary body…..so I’ll take this opportunity to educate you just a little. Lesbianism actually has a very large history of embracing gender non conformity. The first stripe on the lesbian flag even stands for “gender non conformity” (you can google what each stripe represents!). Most people assume being non binary means that you are genderless but the reality is that for many people this label encapsulates a range of complex identities that incorporate a lot of relations to masculinity and femininity. Being non binary is so deeply unique to every individual who identifies as such. Personally, I am not a man but identifying fully as a “women” does not and has never (since I was as little as I can remember) felt accurate for me but I would say my gender is still more closely female aligned than male aligned. I honestly don’t even like labels or really use them often irl but on tumblr the tagging system helps with finding community so I use them almost exclusively on tumblr for that purpose alone. I might’ve lost you here but this is the part where you just may not ever get it unless you yourself are a nonbinary lesbian and I’m cool with that! I don’t owe you any in depth explanation of my gender but I also understand that sometimes people just need to be educated a little. I highly encourage you to look into some queer literature and/or more into the history of gender non conformity within the lesbian community since you seem to be pretty concerned about the topic. Here is one easily accessible article about non binary lesbians written by a nonbinary butch lesbian.

[hexagon-club]

I’ve been thinking about your reblog where you stated that “there's something about the way gendies argue where I can't help but get the feeling that they don't even comprehend opposing views” and especially the line “they understand so little of how other people think that they don't even understand that they don't understand how others think.” 

I remember arguing with a TRA and explaining to her that I wholly supported womens (ie., females) right to be as masculine and gender-non-conforming as they wanted. Somehow we started arguing about this TIM who has a full-on beard and basically makes no effort to convey that he wishes to be perceived as a woman. I said that I wouldn’t want someone like that in women’s spaces, and the TRA I was arguing with said, “It’s funny how you talk about her beard, and then parade around like you don’t care if women are masculine.” Like, she really thought my issue was that the TIM we were arguing about was masculine, not that he was male. She couldn’t even conceptualize the idea that I did not view him as a woman. 

I think TRAs are such a unique category of people with delusional beliefs, because every other group of people with delusional beliefs at least has the language and vocabulary to articulate what they think (religious people, conspiracy theorists, etc). They can at least demonstrate a degree of reasoning behind their thoughts, no matter how flawed that reasoning may be. TRAs don’t even have that—they don’t even pretend to. It’s just circular definitions and the assertion that their internal feelings change material reality. I’m so dismayed that this ideology which is not grounded in linguistics, science, reason, material reality, or anything else has gained the popularity that it has.

I wanted to ask you what you think will become of the trans movement in the next five to ten years? Do you think we will continue to descend more and more into unreason? Do you think radfems will become more appealing in the process? I would love to know your thoughts. 

I think you're on to something. Other belief systems, even ones that are considered to be absurd by the general public, have a consistent internal vocabulary based on words that have a very clear meaning among the group members. Often they will use words in a way that is different to the way people outside the group would use them, cults love jargon after all, but they can generally communicate quite clearly with each other. If not with outsiders.

One of the many things that makes arguing with TRAs difficult is that they are not even on the same page as each other, there's the trutrans/transtrender divide, but even among the "transtrenders" which have become the mainstream of the trans movement their beliefs seem weirdly inconsistent. One of them will try to make a point, I'll debunk it, and then another will accuse me of attacking a strawman and insist that no trans person believes the thing I just debunked. They can't even clearly communicate their beliefs to each other, so they're not on the same page. But in a weird sort of way this is a strength not a weakness, because it means we're constantly trying to hit a moving target, can't really debunk an ideology if the ideology is so inconsistent no one can agree on what it even is.

On that note I just realised something, so I don't know how aware you are of this, I only learned about this after the fact, but there was something of a war on tumblr in the early 2010s between the two wings of the trans movement. The trutrans/transmedicalists represent what was essentially the mainstream of the transgender movement in the 2000s, their philosophy is essentially that being trans is something akin to a chronic illness. One that can be treated through transition, but not cured. This is in contrast to the more modern wave of TRAs who think of "gender" something more like a form of self expression. The trutrans were actually some of the earliest critics of tumblr identities and mogai stuff, because they saw that as making light of (what they believed to be) their legitimate medical disorder.

Anyway, my point is that I don't think the current mainstream of the trans community even have a word for themselves. The trutrans people call them tucutes and transtrenders. But they don't seem to have a word that refers exclusively to themselves, but not to the trutrans. That's weird, they don't even have the language to acknowledge that they are a subfaction of a larger ideology.

As to your last paragraph, I really don't know where we go from here, it's amazing that the trans movement has gotten as far as it has given how ideologically incoherent it is. But it is incredibly profitable, gender affirming care is big business, and plastic surgeons and drug companies aren't going to want to leave money on the table by letting it become less accessible. Incidentally I think this is one of the reasons why other trans identities (transrace, transage, transabled, otherkin) are never going to catch on, they are much harder to monetise, so there's no point marketing them.

The left seems to have decided this is the hill they want to die on. They seem to view gender as a sort of individual freedom. And think that people not acknowledging it is the same thing as trying to force people into rigidly defined gender roles. Like, in their minds, if they hear me say something like "non-binary is nonsense" they equate that to me saying "all women need to become stay at home housewives who wear high heels and dresses." Because they equate the word "woman" to the feminine gender role, and don't even really understand the concept of it as a purely biological classification. Even though that's what they basically all believed 15 years ago.

If the current trans position becomes untenable I think there will probably be a retreat to the "trutrans" identity. People like Blair White, Marcus Dibbs, and Buck Angel are hated by a lot of the mainstream trans community, but they are actually helping them out by preparing a fallback position for when mainstream society gets sick of their shit. I think people will mostly tolerate that, not that I think "trutrans" makes any more sense than the current position, but it's less evangelical and overall less annoying than what they currently preach. Also, quite frankly I think there are a lot of men (left wing and right wing) who are sick of TRA nonsense, but are also deeply antifeminist, and who will want to keep transgender ideology alive because they can use it against feminists.

I'm thinking of this meme I got from Sargon of Akkad's twitter account:

So there's a group of men who know that transgender ideology is nonsense, but still get a certain sadistic pleasure at seeing it get used against women.

I'm not really sure if things are going to get more irrational from here. Both the left and the right seem to be getting more and more unhinged, the left has chosen transgender/queer ideology as its cult of choice, whereas the right has QAnon and it's weird offshoots. It does seem like we are entering an era of unreality where people are giving up on the concept of a shared objective truth and are retreating into fantasy.

That's a depressing note to end on, sorry if I rambled a bit.

[conflictofthemind]

what are ur thoughts on gnc will?

This will be a long winded one.

Short of it: yes he is gender non conforming. I don’t think he’s particularly “girly”, but it’s this nice touch of the feminine he carries. There’s other users on this platform that have probably discussed this in a more proper manner than I have, and certainly more than I will writing this ask. I’m just going to give my own flavour of take and personal anecdotes about the topic under the read more 🙃⬇️

Honestly I find it a very underrated topic of discussion in this fandom that otherwise likes to discuss the same things over and over again (all love because I do it too with the added bonus of being new so often I don’t realize).

I do think it’s because the fandom isn’t very conducive towards it. There is a small but sometimes loud portion that likes to assume you have some secret nefarious reason behind any ‘gnc will’ posting (i.e. stereotyping). Or say by pointing out certain things as feminine, I’m being regressive and misogynist. Whereas I have another profile where I almost exclusively discuss female characters and often gender in those media. This is not a new topic to me (which I’m sure you’ll see).

In the first season he is absolutely a damsel-in-distress. He’s kidnapped by a monster and is hiding away in a ‘castle’ while his friends must come to rescue him. This continues from then on, but is the most obvious in S1.

We see the two characters that tend to chase him down when he is upset or in danger being Mike (duh) and Lucas, who are the two most masculine members of the party and play corresponding roles in DnD as Paladin and Knight. Even in the painting Will makes of the party, it features the party (Mike highlighted) facing off against a dragon. In that game the boys play in the arcade, the goal is defeating the dragon to save the princess —

— which is also such an iconic image of particularly Sleeping Beauty, who is a princess trapped in a castle. I have a whole idea centered around this one for later.

So in terms of role he has definitely been given a traditional female one. Even within the Byler relationship, Will stays in that passive ‘yearning maiden’ type position who is waiting for her true love to confess his feelings first. As Mike should.

All of that might have been very controversial because quote unquote ‘boxing Byler into gender roles’ is regressive (even if the characters intentionally fit these princess/knight archetypes, oops!). Personally I don’t find it regressive at all, I find it interesting to look at things from this perspective. Part of this labelling is the deconstruction of the tropes as well. Will can’t and is not going to remain passive in Season 5, so how will this be dealt with and how will it affect specifically the Byler storyline?

I’m especially interested in whether he completes the transformation from Princess to Witch 👀 but my fairytale posting might get some entries of its own.

Now what you provably mean irt clothing and gender presentation:

The answer is still yes. I think a lot of the reason people deny Will as being gnc is because he doesn’t look the part. But instead of thinking about why that might be, the conclusion is made right then and there.

Will wears clothes that are mostly hand me downs from Jonathan. Their family is poor and if he does get ‘new’ (read: personal choice) clothes they are almost certainly from the thrift store. He has no option to even try and experiment with.

In the original pilot the Duffs actually wanted him to be identifiable by ‘colourful’ (read: girly) clothing, and did keep a bit of that in his Will the Wise outfit that is customized and only worn when he’s comfortable and in his element. The original conversation around the table was Dustin poking at him for wearing a wig and purple gown:

My personal headcanons are that he would keep the natural colours because they are pleasing to the eye, but would experiment and branch out with slightly cuter designs once he is out of Hawkins’ claws. I think the femininity in his style would be kept fairly lowkey apart from certain DnD reunions with the party where he might pull out a costume with some experimental and colorful makeup.

Like, I own an 80s vintage sweater that I think he would wear:

I hope the theoretical reader enjoyed a look into my closet lol. But yes, I see Will as gnc (very broad term there btw) and it is a part of my enjoyment of the character. I am mostly a fan of female characters, and the few male characters I do really stand behind usually have at the very least a few gender non conforming traits.

<- All of this is said as a lesbian who doesn’t necessarily consider herself gender non conforming, but also doesn’t fit a lot of major feminine ideals. I’m butcher than the average twenty year old woman solely off of not wearing makeup, not shaving, and being gay which I do consider as particularly gender nonconforming for women.

[byebyebbyblu]

Excuse me, I saw one of your posts--one where you said that what makes a butch a butch is who they are and not how they dress--and now I’m wondering if I am a butch or not because I don’t know exactly what “acting like a butch” means. I’ve been wondering this way before I saw your post because my family (conservative) sees me a super masculine, while my friends (queer) see me as androgynous, or even feminine at times. It’s a bit of a mess how people perceive me, but it’s interesting to see.

So, my question is, what are some traits that are “recognizable” when it comes to being a butch, if there are any? And how would you call an androgynous lesbian? Futch? Butch of Schrödinger?

Thank you in advance, and sorry for any inconveniences.

Hey thanks so much for the ask!

First of all I’m sorry if my post made you feel invalid that wasn’t my intention at all. I was trying to convey the complicated way that Butchness works and never meant to seem like I was positioning myself as some kind of authority because I’m not.

So far what acting Butch means. This question has a lot of nuance, it means a lot of different things to different people, you’re going to get a lot variety of answers. Acting Butch to me means loving your fellow Butches and Femmes, psychically and emotionally protecting the more vulnerable members of your community, and preforming masculinity in a way that challenges the “typical cis het male ideal of masculinity.”

I developed my idea of what acting like a Butch means from reading books by older Butches like Female Masculinity, Stone Butch Blues and Butch as a noun. I highly recommend them but please make sure to mind the trigger warnings. I’ve also learned a lot from older Butches on social media. @cowboyjen68 on here is a wonderful source.

For your last question some people do call themselves Futches (more as a joke then an actual identity) but there dosen’t seem to be a solid word for androgenous lesbian that I could find (maybe GNC or gender non conforming lesbian) If you feel like the label of Butch might fit you however I would suggest just trying it out. Labels are meant to fit you and if you try it and it dosen’t fit the worst thing that happens is that you were wrong. I personally tried the Butch label after IDing as a trans man for a while and it fit like a glove where the Trans man label didn’t.

Finally i’m sorry about your conservative family, I hope you’re safe and in a place where you can be loved for who you are. And if after reading this you find that the Butch label fits. Welcome home. We’re happy to have you!

[moroserebis]

i feel like theres been a rise in “headcanoning” feminine male characters as “mtf” trans, and masculine female characters as “ftm” trans since i was more active in tumblr fandom spaces around 2013-15 and i feel like it’s becoming a new way to enforce gender roles.

like if you want to headcanon a character trans, okay, but are you doing it because obviously this feminine man has to be a woman! he’s feminine, and likes other men! (meaning you believe feminine people must always be women, and femininity = womanhood)

or this masculine woman who likes woman (or maybe she isn’t even lesbian/bi) must actually be a man! (meaning you believe masculinity = manhood, and liking women only is natural for men)

at least, that is the implication by basing your trans headcanon off of a man or womans gender non conformity. because now these tras, who allegedly vehemently oppose cis-heteronormativity, are reinforcing cis-heteronormative gender roles because to them any gender nonconformity means a person or fictional character is someone who not only is transgender, but is someone who should be transsexual (meaning they want to take the steps to physically transition to change their sex)

so if your trans headcanon hinges on a character not conforming to traditional gender roles, you’re not as progressive as you think you are. you still love gender roles