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#like. even if you type in what you want you get no suggestions
hamilando · 3 days
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ੈ✩ hereby announcing (smau) ੈ✩
pairing : f1 grid x fem reader ; lewis hamilton x fem reader
summary : you can take the girl out of the sport, but not the sport out of the girl
tw : emotional, fluff
a/n : thank you so much to @amberjazmyn for suggesting this ! lysm 🫶🏻 this ends on a cliff hanger ! and the time span is during the 2020- 2021 grid 🫶🏻 I was literally listening to judas by lady gaga while writing this 💀
·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚
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liked by charlesleclerc, lewishamilton and 1,839,378 others
ynshayk a last photo shoot with @ Ferrari and @ charlesleclerc before the season ends ! Thank you @ vogue for having us 🤩❤️
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user1 Y/N X CHARLES, THE LOOKS !?
user2 thank god she did not choose modelling
user3 WE DONT NEED THIS, WE NEED YOUR CONTRACT
user4 when are you signing the next wdc ?
user5 stop torturing us and GIVE US THE DEETS
user6 I hate that because of covid we can't even see her 😭
user7 I swear to god, this lady is a damn sadist
user8 MA’AM, YOUR NEXT YEAR CAR !?
user9 don’t tell me Ferrari Kip’s kicking her out
user10 ha, no-
user11 they love her
user12 I mean she does not have many wins -
user13 SHE HAS WAY MORE THEN CHARLES !?
user14 she got the seat after sebastian vettel, she deserved it
user15 2021 is Y/N’s year
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liked by lewishamilton, scuderiaferrari and 3,479,489 others
ynshayk with the speculations going around with my contract, I hereby announce my retirement from Formula 1 at the end of this 2020 season. It’s been a journey I wouldn’t forget, and with a very heavy heart and neck, I say goodbye to the tifosi family and sport 🏎️❤️🏎️ a very big thank you to @ charlesleclerc for supporting me when I felt it was not worth it, I couldn’t have reached this far without you 💪🏻
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user1 wha-
user2 WHAT !?
user3 DENIAL NO WAY
user4 don't do this to me at 3:57 am
user5 THIS MUST BE A JOKE
user6 IS IT APRIL 1?
user7 it's literally December
user8 crying a nile river here
user9 why did we not expect it
user10 we wanted a wdc 😭😭
user11 we support you whatever you do !!
scuderiaferrari please pass the tissues
user12 here admin 🤧
landonorris can’t believe you leaving me all alone 😔
liked by ynshayk
user13 next season, no chary/n?
charlesleclerc I will miss you too, shaky ❤️
liked by ynshayk
user14 we all know Charles cried while typing that
user15 shaky ? 💀
user16 it's a thing between them, Charles calls her shaky because after every win of hers, she always managed to fall down while getting if the car
lewishmailton congratulations on ending an excellent career 💪🏻🍾👏
liked by ynshayk
user17 the grid saying goodbye to her 😭😭😭😭
maxverstappen1 will miss you hijacking red bull headquarters
liked by ynshayk
user18 not max exposing her -
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liked by ynshayk, carlossainz and 789,379 others
scuderiaferrari 3 years, 14 wins, 27 podiums, runner up world champion, rookie of the year, and a career which defied sayings. Y/N Shayk had an eventful career and we are glad that she was, she is and she always will be part of the tifosi family! Wishing her all the very best for her future !
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user1 admin I need tissues
user2 NOT THE OFFICIAL POST 😭😭
user3 I still can’t process it 😭
user4 I really wish this all turns out to be a bad dream
user5 the sebastian vettel horror
user6 ferrari lost seb and y/n
user7 who is the driver joining though ?
user8 I think they will announce near the new year
user9 ITS CARLOS
user10 WHAT
user11 check y/n's new post
user12 Carlos is replacing her
user13 MY CARLANDO !?
user14 carlos to Ferrari is deadly 💀
user15 and here I thought formula 1 was calm
user16 she came, she won and retired
user17 Rosberg inspiration 💪🏻
user18 SHE CAME, SHE SAW, SHE CAME, SHE SAW
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liked by charleclerc, lewishamilton, carlossaimz and 2,589,378 others
ynshayk handing over my seat to one of the most talented person out there @ carlossainz, take care of @ chareslelcerc for me and try not to miss me too much 😙💪🏻😌 so excited for the 2021 grid 🤩
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user1 NOT MY CARLANDO BREAKING TOO !?
user2 WHAT IS THIS 2021!?
user3 FIRST CHARY/N AND NOW CARLANDO!?
user4 I am excited for the C square era
user5 LESSGOOO 💪🏻
user6 I love how y/n is laughing after giving up on ferrari strategies
user7 middle pic be her laughing after escaping the ferrari attic
user8 I am glad everyone is getting their happy ending
user9 the fans are not 😭😭
user10 what will y/n do now ?
user11 probably spend her millions
user12 she is rich ?
user13 HAHAH- it's an understatement
charesleclerc I swear I am not crying, something got in my eyes
liked by ynshayk
user14 CHARLES 😭😭
user15 of course it will be emotional, they literally grew up together 😭
user16 can't believe the shaky and charles era is over
carlossainz will do ❤️
liked by ynshayk
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liked by user1, user2, user3 and 278,367 others
f1wags 7 time world champion, Lewis Hamilton was seen in Paris with ex- Formula 1 driver, Y/N Shayk. A normal outing or love in the city of love ?
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user1 that's it, I am going to the Himalayas
user2 I am coming too
user3 CANT WE GET ONE DAY WITHOUT DRAMA !?
user4 LIKE CHILL BRO LET US CHILL
user5 she literally said can't win one, but surely can fuck one -
user6 mate 💀
user7 LEWIS AND Y/N !?
user8 WHAT IS THEIR AGE GAP !?
user9 SHE IS BORN IN 1998
user10 13 years 💀
user11 they both are adults, can y'all calm down ?
user12 I am still not used to the ex formula driver 😭😭
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jinwoosbabyboo · 2 days
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He Protecc ; She Sit Pretty
How I imagine the LADS Men react to someone hurting/disrespecting you. Even though MC can very well handle herself in many situations there's nothing wrong with a protective man.
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Zayne
Type: Stern | De-escalator | Don't Start Nothin' Won't Be Nothin'
If Zayne were to witness someone hurting or disrespecting you he wouldn't immediately resort to violence. His cold demeanor speaks for him. He would grab you putting himself between you and your attacker and with a voice as cold as ice "Is there a problem?" He's a gentleman he won't immediately fight someone barefoot in the streets. He'd remove you from harms way and asses the situation.
Zayne is not one to start anything, but when it comes to the one he adores he will in fact finish it.
He would let your attacker ramble nonsense before turning to you rubbing your shoulders telling you it's okay. He would turn back to your attacker and with a voice as smooth as silk with unwavering confidence "Now I'm sure this could have all been a misunderstanding however, if you'd like to put up a fight you’re welcome to settle this with me"
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Rafayel
Type: Extremely confrontational | All fight no flight | Condescending
In an alternate universe somewhere Rafayel is a street fighter or mma fighter or something I swear. This man is all fight no flight he's not de-escalating shit he's matching energy. If he happens to see someone putting their hands on you he's grabbing their wrist and wrenching it backwards while they scream in pain "Who said you can touch her?"
If he catches someone disrespecting you don't even sweat it. He would make your attacker feel less than the gum stuck to the side of a trash can. He is not playing any games about you. If people want to go low he's going to hell. He doesn't care about anyones feelings except yours.
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Xavier
Type: Confrontational | All fight no flight | Silent Threat
Xavier doesn't need to say much when protecting you. He immediately pulls you behind him and sizes up your attacker. His demeanor is as sharp as a blade. "Walk away" is his only warning if your attacker tries to pop off at the mouth Xavier is immediately summoning his hunters sword and in an instant showing said attacker he could have severed their head if he wanted to. His two worded warning was not a suggestion.
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Sylus
Type: Condescending | Intimidation | All fight no flight
Attacking/hurting you: Sylus is turning them into black and red energy he don't have time for that. Stop playing in his face.
Disrespecting you: He’s walking up and grabbing you by the waist immediately asking “What’s going on over here?” He would make them feel as if he’s sympathizing with them before completely crushing their spirit with a devilish smirk on his face. He would have them questioning their entire existence in that moment. He’d end the conversation with a smooth “Let’s get going sweetie” pulling you along with him leaving that person with tears in their eyes.
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angellayercake · 2 days
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Banchetto: Formaggi e Frutta
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Papa Emeritus III x Reader | NSFW
AO3 | Insalata | Masterpost
Selecting the pairings for cheese can be deceptively complicated. Anyone can put some cheese on a tray and call it done but for it to be truly good some serious thought needs to be done. Texture, flavour, sweet vs savoury, creamy vs crunchy, all build up to a well rounded dish. The first bite of a juicy grape paired with tang of a strong cheddar, or the sweet bitterness of cranberry with the mellow creaminess of a brie. Every element has to work together to create a bigger experience. If you make these choices with care then you will have a show stopping course and all you had to do was some slicing.
• • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •
You had been lingering in his office. He was perched on the edge of his desk with his arms locked around you, preventing you from leaving and ending your time together for the day. The two of you had been in this position for at least half an hour, every time you tried to extricate yourself he would pull you in for one last kiss which became two, then three, then he would remember another important matter you just had to discuss right now. So far you had covered Cabaret the musical, why linen was the superior summer material, his favourite type of pen to do signings and the lies he used to tell people about ghoul mating habits. And now you were discussing your favourite cheeses.
‘I honestly have to say I don’t think I have tried a cheese I didn't like,’ you admit after listening to him explain why Italian cheeses were by far the best in the world. He wrinkles his nose at you, shaking his head in disgust. As inconsequential as these topics were, you enjoyed hearing his typically outlandish opinions and his passionate defence of them. You may have even been guilty of disagreeing with him deliberately from time to time just to enjoy his attempts to convince you of his point of view. 
‘Even the stinky ones?’ He looks like even just thinking of them is a displeasure he can’t abide, the charmingly emphasised wrinkles above the bridge of his nose almost distracting you from his argument. ‘The French, thinking they can get away with crimes against dairy just because of a few good ones,’ he grumbles, pulling a laugh from you. 
‘I think the English are guilty of that too, I am afraid,’ you remind him. ‘Have you ever tried Stinking Bishop?’
‘Ugh!! Never and I never will,’ he shakes his head again refusing to even entertain the thought. ‘But, cara mia, that is why everything Italian is far superior,’ he says, lifting his eyebrows suggestively and you suspect he isn’t just talking about cheese any more.
‘With what I have learned in the last few months I can’t say I disagree,’ you reply against his lips as he is already reeling you in for another kiss. You don’t let him distract you for too much longer though this time. ‘I don’t think you should judge a cheese until you try it with accompaniments though. The right flavours paired with the right cheese can make all the difference.’ 
‘I suppose there is some truth to what you say, mia cuocoina,’ he trails off for a moment looking like he is waging a battle internally before he takes a deep breath and continues. ‘Speaking of cheese, did you know there is a farmers market in town this weekend? I have heard they have very many types of cheese on sale there.’
‘I had heard, yes. It happens every month.’ You think back fondly to those trips out of the Abbey with Mona. ‘We used to take it in turns to go and pick up some obscure ingredients as a challenge for the others. I haven’t had a chance to go for a while.’
‘Would you like to go to this one? With me?’ His hesitancy makes your heart melt. How this man could ever think you wouldn’t want to go with him you have no idea? As if you don’t willingly spend almost every moment of your free time with him.
‘Are you asking me on a date, Terzo?’ You tease, hoping to ease his worry a little. The two of you may have done everything backwards but you can’t help the little thrill you get from the idea of him taking you on a proper date. He had been watching you nervously as he waited for your response but at your gentle teasing the corner of his lips pulled up in a smile even as a light blush crawled across his cheeks. 
‘Si, I am,’ he says simply, lifting his head and looking you directly in the eyes, hypnotising you for a moment in his gaze.
‘I would love to go with you,’ you reply as soon as you snap out of it, not wanting to leave him hanging any longer. His wide smile always takes your breath away and you stand there for far too long, just grinning at each other before you realise you do really need to leave. You give him one last kiss before making your way back to your room, mind full of your upcoming date. 
The morning arrives and you are up early having explained to Terzo that the earlier you get there the better. It would be less busy, you got the best pick of the produce and all the tasters won’t have sat out for so long. Taking your advice he had agreed to leave the Abbey around nine, and also on your advice you both were skipping breakfast, not wanting to fill yourselves up before you get there. But his morning coffee is non-negotiable… 
After getting ready you let yourself into his rooms and start the coffee machine. You can hear him moving about already so you don’t worry about getting him up, but instead have time to fuss about… well, everything. You smooth your hands over your outfit as you wait letting your nerves get the better of you for a second. It’s not to say you didn’t usually make an effort with your appearance, you did, but your clothes and hair had to be practical when cooking even if just for him. This was the first time you had had the opportunity to dress up and for some reason it had your stomach in knots. 
You wore your hair down today, letting the dark waves cascade down your back where they were usually secured in a bun and your make up was light as you had considered the time of day - just a subtle base and some eyeliner, mascara and lipstick to add a little emphasis to your features. The dress you picked was one you had never worn before. It was black, as was the majority of your wardrobe, but the light cotton fell softly over your figure, the hem ending at your mid-calf. It was buttoned up from your chest to your knees, giving a glimpse of leg and decolletage you hoped would capture his attention without flaunting too much. The puff sleeves and broderie anglaise finish the look and make it, in your opinion, the perfect dress for a date at the farmers market.
Just as you finish the coffee you hear him come to the door. You turn around a cup in each hand to catch him frozen in the doorway. With one hand he is clinging to the door frame and then other is laid dramatically over his heart. He is looking at you as if he has never seen you before. He looks incredible himself, his hair slicked back as you had not seen it for a long time and his face surprisingly clear of his paints, given you were leaving the Abbey. He is wearing an off-white revere collar shirt, habitually unbuttoned half way down his chest over tailored linen trousers in a soft dove grey with black woven loafers. He has a matching linen blazer over his arm, and he looks like he has just stepped out of the pages of a Milanese fashion magazine.
‘Good morning, Terzo,’ you greet as you go to hand him his coffee but he ignores it in favour of pulling you in for a kiss, letting go of the door frame and instead wrapping his arm around your waist and letting his hand glide down your body over the smooth fabric. You hum into his mouth enjoying his attentions but slightly worried about spilling coffee on you both as you hold them over his shoulders. ‘I could get used to this sort of greeting,’ you say when he lets you pull away, still seemingly at a loss for words. 
‘Grazie,’ he whispers, finally taking his coffee and savouring the first sip before continuing, letting his eyes roam all over you. ‘You are, well… beautiful doesn’t even cover it, I think. Sei una visione di bellezza, come non ne ho mai viste.’ He does this every now and then, slipping into his native tongue when he can’t seem to find the words to express himself in English. You don’t understand what he is saying but the sentiment is clear, so you let the melodic words wash over you and let your smile widen in response. 
‘You are looking very handsome today too.’ You cup his cheek with your now free hand and let him nuzzle into your palm. ‘I have been looking forward to this all week.’ 
‘Me too, cara mia.’ He places his hand over yours before taking it in his. ‘Are you ready to go?’
‘I’ve got my coffee, I've got you, I don't think I need anything else. And if we leave now everyone will still be at breakfast so we shouldn’t be bothered.’ With a nod and a smile he leads you from the kitchen through his rooms and out to the corridor, pausing only to lock the door behind you. You realise then that this is probably going to be the first time he has left the Abbey since returning from the last tour and what a big step this must be for him, as well as the two of you. You walk through the corridors quickly, leaving a plausible distance between you in case you were seen by anyone but before you reach the main entrance he leads you down an old corridor that, as far as you knew, only led to an older unused wing of the Abbey. 
‘Where are we going?’ You ask him as you follow him along the twists and turns of the dusty corridor but he just shushes you and continues as though he is looking for something. To your surprise he ignores the few doors you pass coming to a stop at an old painting covered in dust, which depicts what you can only assume is a life-sized satanic knight posing in his armour in the landscape of hell. Without any further explanation he feels around the edge of the frame until you hear a click and the painting swings forward revealing a secret set of stairs leading down to a door where you can see slivers of daylight seeping in where it has warped in its frame. Taking your hand he helps you down the steps before having to give the door a shove once, then twice before it opens and you find yourselves at the side of the main Abbey just outside the tall garden wall.  
‘This is the way we used to go when we didn’t want anyone to see us leaving,’ he says, shooting you a mischievous grin. ‘When we were boys especially and the older sisters wouldn’t give us the time of day we would sneak into town…’ He trails off realising the story he was about to tell you and his expression turns a little sheepish. ‘Well, you know how teenage boys can be.’ You shake your head at him good naturedly but take his offered hand so he can lead you down what is clearly a well trodden path through the public gardens to a side gate that opens on the main road into town.
• • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •
The first and arguably most important consideration when preparing a dish like this is making everything bitesize. Slice things too small and the flavours will not balance well, slice things too big and you will end up with all sorts of mess, but getting it just right? A slice of cheese, a piece of fruit, a spoonful of chutney, a sliver of meat could all fit on a cracker and be eaten in one perfect bite.
• • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •
It is a short pleasant walk especially on a morning like this. The Abbey is about half a mile from the town and despite the occasional comment or funny look, the residents seem to have accepted sharing the area with a satanic church a long time ago. The residents of the Abbey brought a lot of business to the local shops and trades people, doing their best to contribute to the community they were fringe members of which served to strengthen the tolerance of their presence. You yourself had good relationships with the local food stores, avoiding spending your budget at the supermarket as much as you could, so you had never experienced anything but a sideways glance from some of the more conservative members of the community. 
After about fifteen minutes you reach the town square which is already bustling with life even at this early hour of the weekend. Rows and rows of stalls fill the usually open space and there are already plenty of shoppers drifting from stall to stall. Having finished your coffees, you take his and put them in the nearest bin before pausing so you can come up with a plan of action.
‘When I come with Mona we try to be strategic,’ you explain as you try and suss out what the closest stalls are selling.
‘Oh, and why is this? To get the best produce? The best deals?’ He asks inquisitively, tilting his head as he thinks. You wish you could say those were the reasons but it was much less professional.
‘Nope. It is so we don’t get too full before we have eaten everything we want.’ He laughs loudly, clearly surprised at your reasoning but you try your best to keep your face straight. ‘It is important you know!’ you insist as his laughter calms.
‘You have been training me up for this moment, no?’ he says, patting his belly and winking at you knowingly.
‘Bigger appetites than yours have been defeated by the farmer’s market tasters, I will have you know,’ you respond, doing your best not to get distracted by his insinuation.
‘Psh, I could eat one of everything and still have room for whatever delicious dish you have planned for tonight.’ He winds his arm around your waist pulling you against his side as you walk together to the first stall. You can’t keep up your serious façade, his confidence and manhandling bringing a flush to your cheeks, at least until you realise what he said.
‘Need I remind you it is Saturday and my day off.’ You prod him in the side in retaliation and he jumps slightly when you catch his ticklish spot. He grabs your finger before you can poke him again, a little tug of war ensuing before he lets you free with a stern look.
‘Well I can cook for you then,’ he says, snapping his fingers as the idea comes to him. You dip your head for a moment, your chest feeling full at his insistence you spend even more of today together. Until the reality of him cooking anything for you sinks in. You had long suspected that he lacked even the most basic cooking skills, which was confirmed the only time you ever let him try to help you.
‘And what exactly are you going to cook for me?’ You ask as you reach the first stall filled with assorted jars of conserves and jams.
‘I will cook…’ He pauses, looking around at the closet stalls. ‘Cheese!’ he exclaims loudly, drawing some looks and a chuckle from the cheesemonger a couple of stalls over. He clears his throat, quieting his voice. ‘Cheese, cara mia, like we talked about the other night. Cheese and crackers and fruit and chutney. Like this!’ He picks up a jar of spiced cranberry chutney from the stall.
‘That will be 55 krona please, sir,’ the lady behind the stall tells him. He hands the jar to you and fishes his wallet out of his pocket, handing her cash and insisting she keep the change. 
‘That’s not exactly cooking is it,’ you scoff, putting the jar in one of the many tote bags you had thought to bring along. ‘But that being said, I would be happy to join you this evening.’ 
‘Maybe not but I can assure you I will put a lot more effort into dessert,’ he replies with a smirk as he pulls you towards the cheesemonger. ‘Now, Signior, I need a selection of your best cheese for mia cuocoina, and a little advice.’ 
He leads the way around the market, insisting on tasting this and that and asking questions of the vendors about flavour pairings and serving suggestions until your tote bags are beginning to weigh you both down. You find a bench at the edge of the square and flop down onto it taking the weight off your aching shoulders. He follows after you, sliding the bags to one side so he can sit right beside you. 
‘Try this, cara mia,’ he holds a small pastry to your lips, one he has already tried if the tell tale crumbs around his lips were anything to go buy. You almost refuse, your tactical plan having flown out the window long ago at his insistence you taste test almost everything. He looks at you beseechingly though and you cave, opening your mouth and allowing him to feed it to you. Before he can pull away though you close your lips around his fingers, getting your own back the only way you can right now. He freezes, his pupils blown wide as he watches you suck the tips of his fingers. 
‘Fancy seeing you here.’ A voice you recognise breaks through your lustful haze. You almost choke between the pastry and Terzo whipping his fingers from your mouth as if they were burning. You swallow your mouthful without even registering if it was nice or not as you turn to see Lilly and Rich stood before you. You jump up quickly, offering them each a hug, then trying to stand between them and Terzo, wracking your brain to explain why you were out in public with Papa's fingers in your mouth. 
‘Hi guys, what a lovely surprise. You should really try the pastries from over there, they are very good…’ You can feel your face burning completely at a loss on how to explain away what they must have seen.
‘Will Papa hand feed them to us as well?’ Rich asks sardonically, looking at you with your eyebrows raised as if waiting for an answer. At least until Lilly elbows him sharply in the ribs. 
‘It’s so nice to see you and to see you too, Papa. Hello!’ She says leaning around you to offer Terzo a wave. He stands dusting crumbs from his face and his shirt and carefully keeping some space between you as he shifts to see them both. 
‘Hello, Sister…’ He glances at you and you realise he has never met them before and some introductions are in order.
‘Lilly, Ter… Papa, this is Lilly and Rich. We work together in the kitchens.’ Lilly smiles at him offering another wave which he returns but Rich still doesn’t look impressed, clearly wanting to confront you both on what he saw.
‘Ah, si. Hello, Sister Lilly and Brother Rich. And I can assure you those pastries are delicious whether fed from my own hands or not.’ He switches his Papa persona on, and it’s a little jarring after all this time. ‘Sorella here, I have tired her out having her carry all these bags of things I wanted. I thought I better not tire her arms any further.’ 
‘Right,’ Rich replies slightly at a loss for words. You don’t think his story has helped the situation at all but though he looks a little awkward and uncomfortable, it doesn’t seem like Terzo really minds the two of you getting caught, so you take a deep breath and relax.
‘All this shopping and eating… I could do with another coffee, I think. Si…’ He nods to himself, already heading towards the coffee stall. ‘Anyone else?’ He asks almost as an afterthought and you all nod. ‘Four coffees then, ok.’ The three of you watch him go but as soon as he is out of earshot, they both turn to you.
‘What the hell was that?’ Rich asks in an angry whisper. ‘I thought you were just doing your job and he was far too stressed about getting fired to try it on? Not that it looked like he had to try that hard…’ He had always been protective of the three of you, but you couldn’t help feeling defensive when he had no idea what had been growing between you.
‘Oh leave her be, they both looked happy while they were doing it. What does it matter?’ You smile at Lilly appreciatively, thankful for her understanding.
‘Guys, please just listen.’ You knew you had to explain something. ‘We, well, look, we just-’ You can’t even find the words to start. It’s not like with Mona where you can tell her everything and she just understands, not that you have time for that anyway. You glance over to the stall and see him standing in line, carefully studying the menu and certainly not looking back over every few seconds. ‘I… I can’t really explain what we are; not at the moment,’ you sigh. ‘But Lilly is right, we are happy, everything is fine.’ 
‘You do look happy, and he looks better too.’ Lilly says reassuringly and you breathe a sigh of relief. 
‘Yeah, no one can accuse you of slacking on feeding him.’ Both you and Lilly turn to glare at him.
‘Don’t be a dick, Rich!’ she admonishes him, treating him to another elbow to the ribs.
‘What?’ He says defensively rubbing his side. ‘He is looking a lot more well-fed than he ever did before.’ It isn’t an apology but it is probably as close as you will get from Rich. 
‘Could you guys just keep this between us, please?’ You feel like you are begging, but the last thing you want is people finding out about the two of you through gossip. You hadn’t really thought about it or discussed it but you were sure that Terzo would like to tell his brothers himself when the time was right.
‘Keep what? There’s nothing to tell anyway, right Rich?’ She threatens him with her elbow one last time but relents when he agrees with a flinch.  
‘Right, nothing to tell.’ The three of you look at him just as he looks away sharply and he gets handed the tray of coffees. You feel a little relief but the silence is awkward as you wait for him to make his way back over. 
‘Caffè for everyone!’ He announces on his return and you each take a cup.
‘Thank you Papa, that was very kind,’ Lilly thanked him genuinely. ‘But we better get going. We have a list. Mona has really taken to bossing us around since you've been gone.’ You know she is joking, but it still sends a pang through you. As happy as you are in your current position, you do miss them. ‘Anyway, it was lovely to see you! Bye!’ She grabs Rich by the elbow and drags him away with only one last glare over his shoulder. 
‘Terzo, I’m sorry,’ You say slumping back onto the bench.  
‘They didn’t know about us?’ He asks cautiously. He sits beside you but leaves enough space to be considered decent and keeps his hands to himself. You can’t decide if you are disappointed or not. 
‘No, they didn’t.’ You shoot him a sideways glance and he is looking down at his coffee, his expression unreadable. 
‘So, you haven’t spoken to anyone about…?’ He trails off, neither of you at a point of being able to define what is going on between you. ‘Even before, you didn’t seek out your friends?’
‘Well I did… Mona, but I trust her. She would never say anything.’ He holds up a hand to halt you and you feel a bubble of panic starting to grow in your chest.
‘That’s not what I meant, cara mia.’ He finally looks at you now and the bubble dissolves. His eyes are warm, full of care. ‘I am glad you spoke to your friend about this, just as I am glad of her discretion. I would hate to think about you being so upset and also alone.’
‘You were dealing with it all alone.’ His hand rests on the bench between you and you place yours over the top. It feels wrong not to be touching at all during such a conversation. 
‘Ah, I am used to it,’ he says, brushing you off. ‘I am used to it.’ He turns his hand under yours loosely lacing your fingers together. ‘And anyway, I am not alone anymore am I?’ It’s a slow smile that grows across his face, like he is only just realising it now. 
‘No you aren’t,’ you confirm, squeezing his hand and returning his smile. If you had your way he would never be alone again. 
‘May I ask,’ he pauses like he isn’t sure he wants to ask what he is about to say. ‘Why you didn’t tell your other friends?’ But this is something you can easily offer him an answer to.
‘Well it’s just… Lilly is young, she is only twenty. It feels a little odd talking to her about relationships when she feels like a little sister, and Rich? Well, he is the biggest gossip in the whole kitchen. It’s not that I don’t trust him, but he just gets a little carried away sometimes.’ You can’t help your fond smile. ‘And he is pretty protective of us, even if he can be a little bit of a dick about it.’
‘I see, I see.’ He seems happy enough accepting your reasons. ‘Are you ok?’ He inches a little closer now, already over keeping a sensible distance. 
‘Yeah, I am.’ You decide even as you are saying it. The confrontation with your friends could have gone better, but it could have gone a lot worse. And it’s better you get caught by your friends then any other random inhabitant of the Abbey. In fact, you should have foreseen this happening, going out together so close to home. You wonder if he feels the same though. ‘Are you?’
‘Si, I think it is time to go home though,’ he says and you nod in agreement. You think you have both had enough excitement for today. ‘I called for a car while I was waiting for the coffee,’ he admits a little sheepishly. 
‘Oh, thank Satan.’ Your relief is palpable, both your full stomach and your sore shoulders thankful. ‘I thought we were going to have to carry all of this back.’ 
• • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •
Presentation is the second most important consideration and for that you need a suitable foundation. Depending on the number of people you are catering for you need a vessel large enough to hold enough food. The material is less important, dictated by aesthetic preference, whether you prefer wood, glass, slate or porcelain. Consider whether you need vessels for particular ingredients, additional cutlery to serve. By planning for all eventualities you make sure the meal is a success.
• • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •
With a plea from you and an order from Terzo a ghoul assists in carrying the bags back to his rooms, leaving them on the kitchen table before departing to wherever it is ghouls go when off duty. You begin to unpack, starting to sort out the haul to put in the appropriate storage but he comes behind you taking your wrists in his hands and steers you back out of the kitchen. 
‘Mia cuocoina please,’ he murmurs against the back of my head. ‘I need peace for the art I am about to create.’ You try to suppress your laugh but it comes out an inelegant snort.
‘I can help,’ you reply, twisting in his arms to look at him. ‘Just tell me what you want me to do.’ 
‘No,’ he says, shaking his head. ‘It is my turn to make food for you!’ He continues shepherding you backwards towards his office. ‘Go have a nap, visit friends, whatever.’ he drops a kiss on your lips before spinning you back around. 
‘You may come back in two hours,’ he swats at your ass as he opens the door and lets you out into the hallway. 
You pause for a moment wondering where you even wanted to go. Going back to your rooms wasn’t very appealing, there were no distractions there and you knew the time would crawl by. The kitchens were out of the question right now if you didn't want to be subjected to the interrogation you were spared in town, something you were keen to avoid as long as possible. The gardens were an option except you could still feel the ache in your arms from carrying the bags around the market and you know for certain if Primo catches you in the garden there was no chance you would be leaving unencumbered by whatever vegetables he could give you. 
Your wandering takes you past the upper clergy offices, mostly dark and unused of a Saturday afternoon but you spot movement behind one of the doors and you are not surprised when you realise whose it is. There is only one person you know that would willingly work on a Saturday and fortunately that was a person you had been meaning to speak to. Since you and Terzo had joined his brothers for lunch in fact. You had no sweet treats prepared for him today but you were sure he could do with a break. He could always do with a break. 
Approaching the closed door you knock softly and wait for him to answer and the slightly frantic scuffling you can hear lets you know you won’t have to wait long. But a few moments pass before he answers the door. His exhaustion is plain on his face, sadly not much different than any of the other times you have seen him lately. 
‘Sorella,’ he says with a tired smile when he registers it is you at his door. ‘How can I help you today?’
‘I found myself at a loose end and saw you were working!’ You explain as he holds the door open for you and gestures to the seat before his desk. ‘And why are you working on a Saturday?’
‘There is so much to do and so little time,’ he says, flopping back into his chair with a heavy sigh. ‘I was not busy today anyway so I thought why waste time when there is so much to catch up on.’ The clergy’s decision to remove Terzo from his position has caused more problems than you had first thought. You can’t help thinking how odd it is that no new Papa had been appointed after all these months when there was clearly a need but you set that aside for now.
‘Even you need a break Cardinal.’ You struggle to keep the worry from your voice.
‘Well you are here, let's have a break now.’ His smiles grows more genuine as he speaks. ‘I wished to speak with you anyway.’ 
‘Yes me too,’ you agree. It makes it easier now that he has brought it up himself. ‘I have been meaning to come and see you since the lunch but well, you know Papa, he was keeping me busy. Even on my day off he had me going into town with him to the farmers market.’ You are starting to worry your blush is becoming permanent and you hope your smile isn’t as sappy as it feels. If you plan to continue keeping your relationship quiet you really need to get better at schooling your reactions. 
‘Si, I imagine Papa has lots to keep you busy.’ he agrees laughing but his face turns serious. ‘He is.. Well he is treating you well Sorella?’ He pauses, seeming to choose his words carefully, his fingers coming up to play with his moustache nervously. ‘Like a gentleman? When things are hard I think sometimes he can forget he is a good man.’ You sense that Copia may be talking from personal experience and having seen that side of Terzo yourself you are keen to reassure him.
‘I think I understand what you mean, Cardinal, he …’ You pause thinking over your wording just as carefully. ‘When I first began working for him he was different, while everything was fresh but he, we, found a compromise. He has apologised for some of his more thoughtless actions.’ Copia raises his eyebrows and you panic momentarily. ‘Oh nothing so bad and really, I had a lot of sympathy for his situation. I wasn’t expecting him to be at his best.’ 
‘It was regrettable what happened.’ He takes off his beretta and runs his hands through his hair. ‘It .. well it was unexpected for all of us, I think but it is good to see him doing better.’ He does look genuinely relieved even though the situation has clearly impacted him. ‘All this food seems to be doing the trick eh?’
‘The food probably has helped, yes,’ you laugh, and the rest you thought, keeping that to yourself. ‘But I think it is really just time, Cardinal.’ He would have improved with or without you over time but you do like to think you have helped him move on a little faster then he may have done otherwise. 
‘Now, can we discuss those notes you brought me to translate?’ His direct questions bring you straight back down from your romantic imaginings.
‘I was waiting for you to bring them up.’ You know you owe him something of an explanation  but you are not above waiting to see what he has worked out for himself.  
‘They, well I suppose I don’t know enough to say really,’ he begins confidently before tailing off. ‘But they didn’t read like professional recipes.’
‘That's because they weren’t but Cardinal, it’s not my place to say more, not that I even really know anymore.’ In this at least you can be honest. You could probably make a good guess as to who wrote out the recipes but you aren’t willing to voice that now. ‘He gave me some recipes and he never said where they came from or why that was all he wanted and I didn’t feel it was my place to ask. There were things said at lunch that might have given me some clues but even so.’ 
‘Si, before. I noticed that too.’ He takes a deep breath before continuing. ‘It has not been long since I was considered an outsider to them and outsiders really know very little by design. If it hadn’t been announced that I was also Nihils son then that would still be the case. But even though I never grew up the way that they did, well Secondo and Terzo anyway, I was here in the Ministry already and I saw what happened.’ 
You say nothing, waiting for him to continue sensing his need to unburden himself. 
‘I was brought up as an orphan you see and while most children in the church are brought up communally, orphan or otherwise, the Emeritus brothers were always separate.’ He switches into lecture mode but you still hang on his every word. There were very few people you mixed with who had been a member of the church for so long. ‘Primo has always been here, his mother was a Sister of great reputation chosen especially to birth an heir but Terzo and Secondo, their mothers must have met Nihil on his travels because they weren’t brought to the church until the were ten, Secondo only a few months before Terzo.’  
‘What happened to their mothers?’ A part of you feels bad even asking but your curiosity wins out. You would not feel comfortable asking Terzo himself this but it feels like the last piece in a puzzle you had been building since you had accepted this position. 
‘They just carried on with their lives I suppose. I know Primo fought with Nihil about it, that their mother’s should have been invited to join them or at least to visit but it was decided. No distractions, they had had ten years of normal life and now they were to prepare for their future as men of the Emeritus line.’ His expression turns wry as he continues. ‘It makes me almost glad that he didn’t acknowledge me until recently. I might have liked having brothers growing up though.’ You pat his arm where it rests on the desk offering what little comfort you can.  
‘Anyway I know Terzo’s mother tried for a while, sending packages of food and presents for him but I don’t know what happened after that. One day they just stopped coming.’ Your heart clenches, for Terzo, for Copia, for all of them. They may be in some of the most powerful positions in the Clergy but it was clear they had all been forced to sacrifice a lot for the privilege. 
‘It sounds like it wasn’t easy for any of you.’ Like any organisation there were machinations going on far above the notice of normal members like yourself, you weren’t naïve enough to think otherwise but you found it jarring learning that somewhere that had felt immediately like home and safety to you had treated these men so poorly.  
‘No I suppose not.’ He rubs his hands over his face, the conversation having turned heavier than either of you expected. After a moment he offers you a tired smile. ‘Now tell me more about this farmers market.’ You while away the rest of the time describing in detail the stalls and the tasters and when you eventually leave you hope you both are feeling a little lighter. 
• • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •
Once you have your vessel and your ingredients prepared then all that is left is the arrangement. There are endless ways to arrange the food enticingly. If you want your dish to be eye-catching and mouth watering you must consider the balance of colour and texture. You can create contrast with light and dark meats or cheeses. You may introduce pops of colours with fresh fruits and berries and mix textures with a soft cheese, a juicy fruit and a crisp cracker. Complimentary flavours could be grouped, the arrangement of your board encouraging certain combinations both traditional and daring. Your final result will be a visually appealing and delicious dish to present.
• • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •
It’s been a long time since you have had to knock before entering his quarters but it feels appropriate now, giving him a chance to finish the final touches to his creation before you enter. You almost reach the point of knocking again, wondering if he hadn’t heard you when he pulls the door open. He was still wearing his shirt and trousers but he had borrowed your apron.
‘This looks good on you,’ you tease, pulling at the strap around his neck, but he only takes your hand and leads you inside.
‘Now cara mia you are in for a treat if I do say so myself.’ When you reach the dining room he stops you, placing his hands over your eyes as he guides you the final distance. ‘No peaking now,’ He says as he positions you at the end of the table. 
‘Ta daaa,’ He uncovers your eyes and as you blink you can’t help but be impressed. The centre of the table is covered in what may be every plate in the kitchen; each one has a different cheese and its suggested accompaniments arranged around it. You had fought valiantly for any cheeses other than Italian but he had refused to budge keen for you to taste all of his favourites. He pours you a glass of wine, a deep red and hands you a glass. 
‘This is Barolo, aged in oak caskets it is the most decadent of Italian wines. The King of wines they call it.’ You take a sip and examine the flavours. It is rich, fruity and floral but with an earthiness that should pair well with your meal this evening. You were by no means a wine expert but your palette was well developed over your career and you can tell an expensive wine when you taste one. 
‘Terzo this is very extravagant,’ you stop when he raises his hand.
‘You deserve the best, cara mia, as does this cheese!.’ He gestures across the table and you survey all the options before you, savouring another sip of the wine. In the middle he has laid out a selection of crackers, water, butter and grain in a variety of different shapes. There was crumbling gorgonzola drizzled with honey to calm the bite of the blue veins and topped with quartered grapes and shelled pistachios. Slices of nutty pecorino sit between folded slices of ham generously filled with halved figs and walnuts. Cubes of provolone mixed with slices of olive oil, cured sopressata and green olives and taleggio and apple slices wrapped in salty prosciutto. Finally a bowl of whipped mascarpone, dark red cherry and balsamic dressing pooling between the peaks and whole cherries and pecans sinking into the soft cheese. 
He pulls out your chair for you, getting you comfortably seated then he goes to take off the apron before joining you at the table waiting as you take in the whole spread. It is strange being on the receiving end of such a gesture. You can’t remember the last time someone had prepared an extravagant meal for you like this, even if he had only sliced and arranged the food, it was clear how much effort he has put in to impress you.
He lets you start helping yourself to the plate closest to you when you struggle to decide where to begin with so many enticing options. The two of you are quiet for a time only pausing to express your pleasure with the flavours to each other. After trying at least two helpings of each cheese you sit back with your wine before your stomach begins protesting after your second round of overindulging for the day.
‘Thank you for doing this Terzo,’ you say as you watch him assemble another mouthful. ‘I’m not sure I remember the last time someone did this for me.’ He pauses before taking a bite, looking at you in surprise.
‘Is that so?’ He looks thoughtful as he finishes off his mouthful, getting every trace from his fingers. ‘You are very welcome, cara mia. In fact I enjoyed doing this more than I thought.’ 
‘Am I out of a job now?’ You joke just to watch his eyes widen in panic.
‘Hold on no no!’ He shakes his head emphatically. ‘I did not mean that at all. I will always prefer your incredible cooking.’ 
‘I suppose I will stick around then,’ you reassure him.
‘Thank Satan as much as this was fun. I could not imagine doing it everyday, multiple times.’ He looks exhausted just thinking about it. ‘You are a superwoman, mia cuocoina.’ 
‘I’m not, I just enjoy it,’ you explain. You always had since you were young and had followed your mother around the kitchen.
 ‘Why do you think you were so drawn to cooking?’ He asks. It wasn’t something you had thought much about before. It had just been a fact of your life. 
‘Well I like food obviously,’ you say with a laugh but you pause as you think of what it is you enjoy most about it. ‘I think it's just such a big part of our lives, we have to eat to survive so why not make that as enjoyable as we can?’ Of course it is your job and has been for the longest time but there is a more personal element to it, especially when it comes to people you care about. ‘And you know if you can cook you can make your friend a delicious soup when they are ill, you can make their favourite pasta dish after they just got dumped or you can bewitch a man by making his stomach fall for you first,’ you finish with a wink.
‘Mmmm I see,’ he says sipping his wine, his eyes going heavy lidded as he regards you. ‘So this was your plan was it?’ His voice goes deep and teasing and you shift in your seat. 
‘No, just a happy accident.’ You lean towards him without even noticing, so easily drawn into his orbit. ‘I think my food was just too good for you to resist.’ He nods in agreement, conceding to your point but this conversation is far from its end.
‘And what about you?’ He holds your gaze, keeping you attentive to his every word. 
‘What about me?’ You ask, tilting your head not quite understanding his question.
‘What made you unable to resist your Papa?’ You swallow thickly. There are so many reasons you wouldn’t even know where to start.
‘You don’t need me to tell you how irresistible you are.’ you say instead. You aren’t against stroking his ego usually but you know he is well aware of his affect on people and you in particular. 
‘I have my own charms. I am in no doubt about that.’ He says confidently and you know it is true. ‘You though? I think it is a little different than any I have seduced before.’
‘Oh?’ You have an inkling where he is going with this. You had your suspicions that there were a lot more feelings involved then either of you were used to in your past relationships but this didn’t feel like the build up to a heartfelt confession. He was looking at you as if he had been leading you to a trap and you had just fallen in. 
‘You like feeding me.’ he states, matter of fact, placing his wine glass down on the table.
‘Yes we have discussed that.’ You are sure the two of you had discussed how you enjoyed taking care of him even as early as your first dinner together.  
‘No we haven’t. Feed me.’ His voice is hard but not cold as he orders you but you hesitate.
‘What?’ You think back trying to clear your confusion and you remember the lunch or more specifically just before when you had been reassuring him in his bedroom. You had known then that he wouldn’t drop that forever but it still didn’t make you any more prepared. 
‘I am not yet satisfied. Feed me.’ You swallow again, unable to control your body's reaction to his strict demands. You want to obey him, to feed him but again you hesitate. 
‘Terzo …’ He gives you a stern look cutting you off before you can continue. ‘Papa?’ It comes out as a question but it seems obvious what he wants. He rewards you with a smirk. 
‘I want some more gorgonzola, si,’ He encourages as you take a water cracker and begin to load it with cheese. ‘Plenty of honey too per favore then be a brava cuocoina and feed it to me. Then I will explain.’ You offer him the cracker and he tuts at you shaking his head.
‘Uh uh,’ he sighs. ‘Do it properly.’ He pushes the plates to the side and pats the table in front of him. You stand uncertainly but he pats the table again until you sit before him and offer him the cracker a second time. He scoots his chair forward forcing you to spread your legs to accommodate him but now he is in the perfect position for you to place the food in his waiting mouth. He chews slowly, moaning low as the flavours combine and harmonise on his tongue. 
‘Mia cuocoina, I think the taleggio now, no?’ You take his suggestion, the rolls of prosciutto and apple are much easier to feed him. He watches you for a moment before continuing. ‘There were clues you see but I did not notice at first. Now though, now your Papa understands.’ You offer him the next bite but his warm hand closes around your wrist holding you in place. 
‘You kiss me differently, did you know this? After we have eaten, you like me tasting of food you made me I think.’ You feel like you can’t breathe as he begins listing all the things he has noticed. ‘And my clothes, you look at me differently too, when things get a little tighter, tighter than they used to be. You like seeing how I have changed with every meal you have fed me I think.’ You can’t deny it because what he says is true. A part of you had hoped he might not have noticed everything but with every word that hope gets smaller and smaller. 
‘And now here. Your heart is racing and yet all I have done is eat a little from your own hands.’ He pauses to take a bite, his teeth sinking into the soft cheese and crisp apple and just grazing the tip of your fingers. ‘You enjoy feeding me, more than you realise I think.’ 
‘Papa I …’ You don’t know what to say. He doesn’t look angry or upset but you feel the urge to apologise even as words fail you. He swallows the last bite freeing your wrist.
‘Shhh it is ok mia cuocoina.’ His hands trail down to your ankles tracing miscellaneous shapes into your skin. ‘Cherries now per favore. The balsamic cherries with the mascarpone. His fingers creep up your calves ghosting the shape of you before hooking behind your knees. He pulls you forward until you are sitting at the edge of the table. You lean across him, choosing a butter cracker, the thicker texture better to support the soft cheese. 
‘I am craving something sweeter,’ he explains. You bring it to his lips, the cherry juice starting to drip down your fingers and he catches it with his tongue leaving a sticky trail behind it before closing his lips over the mouthful. Your breath catches in your throat and his eyelids droop seductively as he sucks the last traces of juice and cheese from your fingers. 
‘That didn’t quite hit the spot,’ he says, hands already sliding your skirt up your thighs until he can clearly see your underwear and the wet patch there is little point trying to hide. ‘Ah so I was right. You do enjoy hand feeding your Papa.’ He spreads your legs even further so he can lean close enough that you feel his steady breathing against you. ‘After all that fuss.’ He grazes his teeth over your clit, the material of your underwear protecting you but the threat still makes your thighs shake. When he does bite down it’s only on the hem of your underwear as he pulls them to the side leaving you bare to him for the first time.
He just looks at first holding you in suspense but in a split second his tongue is all over you yet somehow still not hitting any places you wanted him, needed him. Around and around he swirls his tongue over your folds, then the most gentle suction. Little sounds of enjoyment he seems unaware of that vibrate through you as he tastes you thoroughly. But his teasing as you fed him, his sucking and nipping at your fingers had already got you ready for so much more. Giving in you lace your fingers through his hair to guide him to exactly where you want his attention most but he resists all your attempts, making the frustration inside you build and build. You try another tactic grinding your hips against his face but he pulls away pressing your hips down onto the table and stopping any further movement and forcing a whine from deep in your chest.
‘Cuocoina, please. I am just trying to properly enjoy my meal.’ He pauses to lick a long stripe, tongue flat and broad to give you as much friction as possible. You can’t breathe, not for a moment, the sudden rush of pleasure the only thing your mind can comprehend but almost as soon as it starts it ends the only thing you can feel are the puffs of his warm breath.
‘But perhaps you would prefer to feed me this too?’ He positions himself that he is a hair's breadth away from you before his vice-like grip on your hips loosens. ‘Feed me’ he growls and you have to obey.
You grind your hips against him over and over, his tongue finding your entrance making your thighs shake as you fight to get him even deeper. Your foot loses purchase where it had settled on the arm of his chair and you scream as your clit catches the tip of his nose. One of his hands finds its way to your thigh helping to steady you but the other creeps up your body underneath your dress. He cups your breast over bra, his maddening fingers finding your already hard nipple through the light material pinching and twisting until you can't decide if you want to arch into his teasing hand or push back against his face. 
‘Papa! Terzooo,’ you moan his name in frustration, struggling as your pleasure builds to take what you need from him but he finally takes pity on you, hooking both your legs over his shoulders and lifting your hips clean off the table.
‘Fuck mia cuocoina,’ he growls against your core. He sucks your clit long and hard until you scream your toes curling against his back. ‘Sei la cosa migliore che abbia mai assaggiato, cazzo.’ You barely register his switch to Italian, too busy chanting his name in your pleasure fuelled delirium.
You are so close to the edge when his lips close over you sucking and sucking while his tongue swipes over your clit over and over again. You can feel it building, a charge shooting through your nerves from the soles of your feet to the palms of your hand and you continue babbling his name, repeating until it is almost meaningless. He pinches your nipple, hard, and you arch up from the table with a gasp just as he slides a finger inside you curling it perfectly to press against your g spot. 
Every bit of air is forced from your lungs as your orgasm overtakes you. Your ears begin to ring as the force of it pulses through your body and what feels like every muscle contracting and releasing as you gasp for air. Your hands are still gripping at his hair keeping him in place not that it is needed as he laps at you greedily, catching every last drop of your orgasm. 
‘Making sure you are well fed?’ You giggle deliriously, still feeling somewhat detached from reality. You release your death grip on his hair and he sets your hips back down on the table helping you ease the vice-like grip of your thighs around him. His face is wet with your slick but it only emphasises his flushed cheeks. He grins at you in satisfaction, his eyes sparkling as he takes in the state he has made of you.
He pulls you back upright by your hands after straightening your underwear and your dress but this time no one could mistake the treatment you had just received. Your balance has not yet returned and so helps you into his lap where you can lean against his warm body. As you get settled you can feel his hardness trapped beneath you but as you reach for him cupping him through his trousers, he catches your wrist gently and instead wraps your arms around his neck. He distracts you by stealing kisses and you discover you almost enjoy the taste of you on his lips as much as you enjoy the taste of the food you make him.   
He slows your frantic kisses down, only offering you slow pecks to help you actually catch your breath. He rubs your back soothingly over your dress and encourages you to rest against him but you still end up clinging to his shoulders to help keep you upright as the haze of your pleasure recedes leaving you exhausted. He tucks your hair behind your ear, his hand settling at the back of your neck.
‘Mmm, now I am satisfied,’ he whispers against your lips before distracting you again with his captivating kisses. 
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writeonwhiskey · 20 hours
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the skz house: ch 25
a/n: ahhhh we're back, baby! i am so excited to get the final completed chapters out to you all. thank you to @bahablastplz for editing!
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[ read chapter 24 here ]
Chapter Twenty-Five: Of Popcorn and Reuniting
I need some time.
Can we talk on Monday?
You type out and delete several variations of your text to Chan before finally hitting send on the ride home. You considered acquiescing to his request, but you know how it would end; with you in his arms, then bent over as he fucks all his love into you. You want to kiss him, touch him, to feel him inside of you after what he so succinctly confessed with that rose and card. He wants you. He would choose you.
You want to roll down the windows and scream into the night at the top of your lungs. You contain yourself, though. You suppress the giddy feeling each time it arises, keeping it at bay with reasonable logic: you cannot let him choose you.
It pains you to even think that. Especially when you can see how much he is trying…the effort he’s putting forth is not lost on you. You know how out of his comfort zone he must be, and it feels utterly shitty to shut down his attempts and potentially lose all the progress you’ve made with him.
Of course it moves you, knowing he would throw aside everything for you, but now is when you need to be stronger than him. You have to give yourself time to prepare for this conversation—you know it won’t be easy. Waiting to speak to him on Monday will give you that time. It’s always easier to process your thoughts when you’re not in his intoxicating presence. And anyways, if his feelings are as strong as he’s saying, a few days of waiting shouldn’t deter them.
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Over the next few days, you spend most of your spare time sorting through your thoughts and feelings surrounding the Chan debacle, and whenever it feels too overwhelming you can turn to Changbin for a distraction. He’s good for that. However, you’ve learned enough about Aristotle and his belief in moral virtues to last a lifetime. You spend the final Saturday of the rotation with him, staying up and talking about whatever crosses either of your minds.
He jokingly suggests taking things further since this is your last chance. In truth, after the consistent sex you were getting with Hyunjin and Chan, your body is aching for it, but you politely turn him down. You know it’s not aching for him in particular.
On Sunday the house is once again abuzz as everyone shuffles their belongings back to their proper rooms. Chan is, to your surprise, still fast asleep around noon when you take your sheets and clothes back to his room. You quietly make your bed and put your clothes aways before retrieving your stuff from Seungmin’s room and taking it to Hyunjin’s.
Hyunjin is seated at his desk with his headphones on, scribbling away on his sketchpad when you enter. Your hands are full of your blankets and a bag of your clothes is slung over your shoulder. His wide, dazzling smile greets you when the door swings open and you feel like an invisible weight is instantly lifted.
“Welcome back,” he says, standing to help you with all that you’re carrying.
He takes the blankets from you and tosses them onto your bed. You take the bag off your shoulder and set it on the ground as he turns back around to face you. He opens his arms to you and you take a few small steps forward into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his slender waist, squeezing tightly.
“Jagiya,” he whispers against the top of your head.
“I missed this,” you tell him.
As safe as you felt with Changbin and Seungmin, it doesn’t hold a flame to what you feel with Hyunjin. In the near-constant emotional storm you have felt during your time at the SKZ house, he has always been your saving grace. The only thing that keeps you grounded in the chaos.
You feel somewhat bad about it, though—he’s always the shoulder that you lean and cry on, and none of it has ever been because of his actions. It’s always something else. Always Chan. You could release the floodgates and cry right now, hugged up to him, but you don’t want to do that. It’s not fair to him, always having to pick up the pieces.
“Me too,” he agrees.
When you finally step away from the embrace, you motion to the work on his desk.
“Don’t let me distract you.”
He looks down at you and cups your face in his hands. He looks over your face and you wish you didn’t feel so transparent in front of him. He knows. How could he not? You scrunch up your face and shake your head, pushing the tears and sad thoughts aside. Not today. Not on your first day back with him.
He arches an eyebrow in response, but you continue shaking your head defiantly.
“Fine.” he says.
He squeezes your cheeks together, forcing your lips into a fish shape, and kisses them. You can’t help but laugh and swat him away, making him laugh too as he holds his arms up to block your attack.
Maybe it’s not right to push everything down and pretend you’re okay—that nothing has happened to send you into a tailspin. But with Hyunjin…it doesn’t feel like pretending. He genuinely makes you forget that any strife in the world exists when you’re with him.
“Can we get out of the house later?”
“Sure. What do you want to do?” he asks, sitting back at his desk as you start to put the sheets on your bed.
“Anything, really,” you shrug.
He gives you a reassuring nod and smile before turning back to his sketchbook. He starts to put his headphones back on, then stops. He picks up the Bluetooth speaker on his desk and powers it on. Within seconds, ‘Ghost’ by Mystery Skulls starts blaring throughout the room as you get your things situated and he focuses back on his drawing.
You catch yourself dancing around to the song as you tidy up. When you lock eyes with him, he’s vibing to it as well and you both smile and giggle.
It’s distractingly loud and peaceful in here with him.
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Later in the afternoon, the cloudy sky and light drizzle makes it difficult for you and Hyunjin to choose something to do. You both eventually settle on going to see a movie, but it takes another thirty minutes after that to decide what to watch. Hyunjin picks a film called Miller’s Girl, and buys the tickets from his phone. You grab a warm blanket then you both head out.
The theatre is one of the upgraded kinds with large, reclining seats. You get popcorn and drinks before going into the designated room. It’s just the two of you, but you assume others will show up at some point. However, when the previews finish and the movie starts, no one else has come.
“Got the whole place to ourselves,” you remark.
“Come here, then,” he says, taking the popcorn from you and reaching for your hand.
You let him pull you up and over the large armrest separating your seats, bringing your blanket with you. He holds the popcorn out of the way as you get comfortable and spread the blanket out, so it covers both of you. He drapes an arm around your shoulder, holding you against him.
Since you’re alone, you’re both free to talk without fear of annoying anyone. The film is quite interesting—very poetic, which Hyunjin seems to take a liking to. Eventually, your mind starts to stray from the plot, focusing more on how close you are to him…and how long it’s been since you touched him. You slide your left hand under the blanket and onto his thigh. You can see him looking at you from the corner of your eye. You bite your bottom lip to keep from smiling and remain facing the screen.
He moves the popcorn from his lap and puts it on the empty seat next to him.
“Do you remember what happened last time we went out to watch a movie?”  you ask playfully as your hand glides over his cock, above his jeans.
“I have a faint memory,” he replies.
“Just a faint one?” you turn to face him.
He leans forward and captures your lips in one fell swoop. You kiss him back, relishing the familiar feeling of his soft, plump lips against yours. The taste is a little salty and buttery, but good. You feel his cock twitch against your hand and take that as an invitation to unbutton his pants and slide down the zipper.
He breaks the kiss and reclines the chair a little more, allowing you better access to him. You bring your hand up to your mouth and spit in it before slipping it back beneath the blanket to wrap around his cock. It pulses in your tight grip as you start to stroke him slowly.
“Fuck,” he groans. “Let me touch you, too.”
“No,” you shake your head, stroking him faster.
“But I want to feel you.”
“You will later.”
You hear him smack his lips as he rests his head against the chair. He rocks his hips upwards while you continue stroking him. You’re tempted to toss the blanket aside so you can see him, take him in your mouth and then fuck him. You’ll be patient, though. You just want to please him right now.
“Y/n,” he whispers. “I can’t—where am I gonna—?”
You feel his stomach muscles start to convulse as he attempts to hold off his release. You hadn’t thought that part through, and you don’t have much time to come up with a plan. You lift the blanket and duck your head beneath it, quickly taking him in your mouth.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” he pants.
You move your hand and mouth in tandem along his cock as he starts to come. You feel his hand grip the back of your neck trying to keep you still, but you keep moving, taking in every last drop.
When he stops shaking you swallow and lift your head from the blanket. With his hand still on your neck he brings you to him again, kissing you deeply, tasting himself on you.
You break the kiss this time, smiling at him as you pull away. He throws himself back against the chair, breathing heavily.
“What are we even watching?” he jokes.
You zip and button his pants back up before snuggling into his side again.
When the movie is over, he practically pulls you out of the theatre, through the lobby and to the exit doors. You can see through the glass doors right away—the light drizzle has turned into an all-out downpour. You plant your feet to stop him from pulling you outside.
“We’re gonna get drenched, Hyunjin,” you tell him, shaking your head.
He turns to face you, eyebrow arched, “You don’t like getting wet anymore? What did Seungmin and Changbin do to you?”
You slap him on the arm and roll your eyes.
���Come on, we can’t stay in here forever,” he coaxes.
“Okay, okay,” you agree with a sigh.
He pushes on the door and looks back at you once more. You nod for him to continue. He opens the door completely and you both make a mad dash for the car. When you’re halfway there, though, Hyunjin abruptly stops this time. You try to tug on his hand to get him to the car, but he doesn’t budge.
“Hyunjin, move your feet!”
He shakes his head and uses your intertwined hands to bring you to him. He rests his hands on your hips as he leans down to kiss you. The rain is coming down over both of you. Your hair, clothes, everything is completely drenched and it’s not even warm rain, it’s fucking freezing. But none of those concerns are the most pressing thing on your mind right now. While kissing him and getting cleansed by the rain, it feels like time is standing still. You’re so enraptured in this moment with him, that all else fades away.
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In celebration of rotations ending, the grill is fired up in the backyard that night. It’s still a bit cold out and damp, but nothing like it was on New Year’s. You and the other girls work on side dishes in the kitchen while the boys cook up the meat. Through the back door you can see Chan manning the grill while the others mostly just sit around and watch—Lee Know helps occasionally.
“Anyone else happy things are going back to normal?” Charlotte asks.
All of you nod your heads.
“As great as Jeongin and Han are, I kind of missed Seungmin and Changbin,” Rhiannon admits.
“You’re one of our bravest soldiers, dealing with those two,” you tell her with a laugh.
“They really are a handful, aren’t they?”
“Their intentions are good, at least,” you tell her to which she nods her agreement.
“Y/n, can you bring the steak out here? And grab a plate to bring some of this other meat in.”
You’re surprised to see Chan’s head peeking through the partially opened sliding back door. A familiar erratic heartbeat returns.
“He wants you to grab his meat—he must have really missed you,” Allie teases.
The other girls laugh with her. They know nothing of the tension you’re feeling right now. You force a small smile and attempt a chuckle, but it sounds strained. You step past Charlotte at the stove and retrieve the meat from the fridge, then head to the backyard. You hand Chan the empty Pyrex dish first and he starts piling the cooked meat onto it.
“You okay?” he asks gently.
You nod.
“So, you’re not staying with me tonight, then?”
You shake your head in response to his question.
He sets the plate of cooked meat next to the grill, as you hold the tray of steak. You expected him to take the tray, but instead he takes each piece of meat off individually as you hold it.
“Did you lose your voice while you were away?”
“No,” you reply softly.
He takes the last piece of steak from the tray, but his eyes are on you the entire time. When you finally meet his gaze, you see a glimmer of something there…worry perhaps, as he watches you. It’s not your intention to be cold towards him right now, you’re just caught off guard by this interaction.
“We’ll talk more Monday,” you tell him. “I promise.”
“Do you miss me?” he asks, handing you the Pyrex dish of cooked meats.
“Of course I do.”
A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips hearing that.
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Since you and Hyunjin already showered, after coming home wet from the rain, you change into your pajamas and brush your teeth when dinner is over, then meet Hyunjin in his room. He’s already laying in bed, beneath the blanket without a shirt on. His eyes are focused on his phone when you enter, but he immediately tosses it to the side and smiles when he sees you.
“Finally,” he says, still grinning.
“Were you waiting for me?” You ask, feigning innocence.
You place your dirty clothes into your shared laundry basket before crawling onto his bed.
“Yeah. For two long weeks,” he tells you, pulling you to him as soon as you’re within reach.
“And what were you expecting to happen?”
You’re laying across his body at an angle, arms folded on top of his bare chest.
“Oh, you know…nothing in particular,” he says, his hand already slipping beneath your shirt to caress your back.
“Good. Because it’s shark week.”
He furrows his brow at that.
“It shouldn’t be until next week?”
You crack a smile—so he has kept track on the app you shared with him.
Seeing your reaction, he quickly flips over so that he’s on top of you.
“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” He whispers into your ear before leaving a trail of kisses down your neck. “Knowing how much I’ve wanted you.”
“I thought it was a little funny,” you shrug.
“Not even a little bit,” he says, pushing your shirt up above your breasts.
As soon as your nipples are exposed, his mouth is on them. Taking in one, sucking and circling it with his tongue, then the other. He kisses between your breasts, then down your stomach, past your navel. When he makes it to your shorts, he doesn’t even bother pulling them down. He yanks them to the side, peeking up at you when he realizes you’re not wearing any underwear.
“Just as pretty as I remember,” he says, returning his attention to your pussy and kissing around your folds.
You want to lean back on the pillows for comfort and close your eyes to enjoy the feeling, but you also want to keep watching him. You’ve missed the sight of him between your legs.
He sticks his tongue out and delivers a hard and slow lick up your slit before blowing cool air over it. A shiver courses through you, and you thrust your hips up towards his mouth, but he moves away.
You assume there will be more teasing to follow, but he dives straight back in, covering your pussy with his mouth. He alternates swirling his tongue around your clit and fucking you with it. You finally throw your head back against the pillow and get lost in the sound of him sucking and slurping you up. You grip the sheets with your hands, still attempting to rock your hips against his face.
He pulls away to readjust himself so he can use his other hand on you. He slides his fingers through your slick to coat them before pushing them inside of you. His heated gaze meets yours as he fingers you and you smile up at him lazily, lustfully, and adoringly at all once.
You beckon him towards you with a curl of your finger and he obliges, leaning down over you with his fingers still pumping in and out. You spread your legs a little further apart to accommodate him on top of you and wrap your arms around his neck. You pull him down to you and taste yourself on him as his tongue invades your mouth.
He applies pressure to your clit with his thumb, causing you to moan.
“I need you to fuck me, Hyunjin,” you pant between kisses.
“Not yet,” he replies. “I want two from you tonight.”
He moves back, sitting on his legs. You can see the determination in his eyes as he continues to fuck you with his fingers. His other hand cups your breast, kneading it and pinching your nipple.
 “Can you do two for me, jagiya?”
You nod your head, unable to speak.
He readjusts himself again and you’ve never been so thankful for his long limbs and dexterity. He keeps one hand on your breast, the other is thrusting three fingers in and out of you, and then his mouth is on your clit again to bring you to the edge.
Your hands fly to his head, tangling themselves in his dark hair. You’re pulling on the strands while simultaneously pushing his face harder against your rocking hips.
“There she is,” he chuckles, his mouth rubbing against you as he speaks. “Come on my fingers.”
He latches back onto your clit, sucking it rhythmically. You grit your teeth and moan, arching your back as you come on his fingers.
The waves of your orgasm continue even as he withdraws his fingers and puts them in his mouth to lick clean. You watch him in a haze. Your legs are still shaking when he finally pulls your pajama shorts down. You’re trying to catch your breath as he removes his boxers, but there’s hardly any time before he’s thrusting his hard cock in your pussy.  
“Oh, fuck, Hyunjin,” you cry out.
“I want two,” he says again.
He hooks your legs on his shoulders and grips your thighs for leverage as he fucks you. He angles his hips, allowing his cock to touch your most sensitive spot with each thrust.
“You feel so good, jagi,” he coaxes. “So fucking tight. So wet.”
He’s bearing a mischievous smile as he looks down at you. He knows what he’s doing to you—with his body, with his words. He knows you won’t last long like this.
Hell, even just looking at the consistent flexing of his abdomen as he fucks you just about does you in.
“I want to be on top,” you tell him, placing your hands on his chest to halt his movements.
You let your legs fall from his shoulders and he rolls over so he’s laying down and you’re on top of him without needing to pull out. You plant your feet firmly on the bed and start to bounce up and down on his cock. He lets out a groan and brings his hands to your hips, gripping them.
His eyes move from your face to your bouncing tits, down to where your bodies are connected. Feeling like the object of his desire is a feeling you’ll never get tired of. You can see it on his face—he likes this. He likes fucking you, pleasing you.
And with him, it’s easy. There aren’t any buried emotions to deal with. You can just enjoy the way you make each other feel. These moments you share with him; you can truly understand what the purpose of the SKZ house is. It’s a system that can work when other feelings don’t get in the way. The type of feelings that have brought you and Chan to an impasse.
You don’t realize your thoughts have drifted so much until you feel Hyunjin’s hand cupping your face.
“On me,” he says simply.
You nod, focusing your attention back on him.  
How can he read you so easily? And be so unfazed, so understanding? You were blessed to have him as Chan’s counterpart in this. Truly.
You place your hands on his chest again, using his body to help you bounce up and down on his cock. His grip on your hips tightens and at first, he helps lift you up but then he pulls you all the way down and keeps you there.
“I need a second,” he tells you.
You smirk at that and start to grind on him. His hands make their way from your waist up to your breast. He squeezes both of them as his eyes roll back, and you know you have him right where you want him.
“Does that feel good?” You tease, moving your hips in slow circles.
He responds by snapping his eyes open and dropping a hand to press his thumb against your clit. A small gasp escapes your lips, and you grind against him harder. With each move of your hips, his cocks touches every part of you.
He’s working your clit with fervor, causing you to moan again as you feel the familiar sensation of another orgasm brewing within you.  
“No,” you exhale. “I want you to come too.”
“I could have several minutes ago,” he admits.
You chuckle at that.
“Together?”
“Mmm,” he moans his agreement, placing his other hand back on your hip.
He grips it tightly once again and you resume bouncing on him. He keeps his thumb on your clit, rubbing it as you fuck him.
Looking down at him, you feel lucky to have this experience with him. He’s so kind, so caring, so giving. There’s no way you could repay him for all he’s done for you and all that he’s taught you. But you can, at least, please him.
From the look on his face, you can tell he’s close. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth, gaze stuck on the sight of your body rising and falling on his cock.
You slide one of your hands up to his neck and squeeze it lightly.
“On me,” you repeat his words from earlier.
He fixes his eyes on yours, and you stare back just as intently.
He brings his hand up to cover yours, applying more pressure to your grip on his neck. He gives a subtle nod before moving his hand back to your hips. You squeeze tighter as your legs begin to shake again.
“Now?” He asks.
“Yes, come with me,” you tell him.
He thrusts his hips upwards to meet yours every time, as he spills inside of you. You feel the walls of your pussy clench around his cock as you come, too.
When you both finish, you release his neck and collapse on top of him. He wraps his arms around your back, holding you close and kissing the top of your head. He turns so that you’re both laying on your side, and you feel his softening cock leave your body.
He lifts up for a second and finds his boxers. He uses it to clean you up before tossing them onto the ground. He pulls you as close to him as possible. You hook a leg around his waist and bury your face into the crook of his neck.
You’re happy with him. You wish you could stay wrapped up safely in his embrace and avoid what you must face tomorrow. But you know you’ve put it off long enough.
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a/n: some much need hyunjin time. she needed a break before diving in to that conversation with Chan. more coming soon! if you'd like to sign up for the mailing list you can do so [ here ]. thank you to the 71 souls that have signed up already, ilysm.
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seisrkvs · 2 days
Text
RULES (ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN) — C. KAMO
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gn reader i think, suggestive, not specifically angst or fluff idk, brother's best friend trope, mentions of fighting/bruises, alcohol consumption, age gap (2yrs) but both are adults. implied smashing. ahaha.
english is not my first language, so there may be grammatical mistakes. i don't care enough to fix them lol
WC 2.6k.
ten rules to follow when your best friend has a cool older brother.
AUTHOR'S NOTE :: this was so draining; never writing again
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RULE NUMBER 01: NEVER FALL FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER.
your best friend's brother, choso. two, years older than you but he's always seemed oh-so-mature with his serious, unsmiling face. (he makes an exception for you and yuji, though, and you think he's so, so sweet and so, so perfect.) a scar across it, over the bridge of his nose — in your opinion, it makes him ten times more attractive.
you start liking him aged twelve or thirteen, you're not sure, really. he wears cute sweaters and buttonups and doesn't really hang out with the boys in his class. he's shy and introverted and he's like fifteen and you just want him to be your boyfriend. oh, well, nothing ever works out the way you want it to, and he leaves for college when you're seventeen.
RULE NUMBER 02: NEVER ASK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AT COLLEGE.
he never really mentions what happens in college, but choso is an entirely different person when he comes back. gone are the soft schoolboy clothes; now he's really in his element. the choso you know now is loose band tees and baggy jeans, rings stacked on his hands and nails painted black. and the best/worst part is that he looks good in it, and he knows he looks good in it.
nowadays, there are rumors about him. about how he drinks and smokes and gets into fights. but surely that's all just talk, right? besides, he says it's not true, so you don't believe them.
still, his taped up, bruised knuckles and bandaged hands still nag at the back of your mind.
RULE NUMBER 03: NEVER AGREE TO GOING TO HIS POOL PARTY.
why are you here? no, really, why are you here? this is way out of your comfort zone, and you know like, one person here. two, including choso. so where are you, exactly? well...
choso'd never been the type to host parties before he left for college. now is a different story, though. and a pool part at his place right at the apex of summer seems too good of an opportunity to refuse. especially when he lives next door and personally invites you over.
thick muscular arms hang over your side of the fence as he stares at you, chin propped up on top of it. "so 's that a yes or no?"
you shrug again, shrivelling inwardly under the overwhelming pressure of his gaze. and then his lips curl up into a slow, self-satisfied smile, as if he knows what you're thinking, and it almost has your knees buckling. heat spreads across your face, pools in your cheeks. you hope the blinding glare of the sun makes it difficult to see.
"ah, well, see ya then," he says with a chuckle when there's no sign of a response from you. it simultaneously irks and pleases you to know that he knows you well enough to know your answer. when you're sure he's gone, you rush to your room and scream into the pillow.
RULE NUMBER 04: NEVER SHOW UP TO HIS POOL PARTY.
the air is hot, humid and permeated with sweat and human activity. a concerningly high number of people are stuffed into choso and yuji's home, and you can't even hear yourself think over the bass of the music.
navigating through the mass of sweaty dancing people is humiliatingly nerve-wracking, not to mention annoying. you somehow manage to get lost in a house you've known all your life, and it takes you a quarter of an hour to venture out into the backyard. when you finally find it, that is.
and as if he's somehow aware of your presence, choso picks that exact moment to — very slowly — pull off the skintight black t-shirt that's clinging to his sculpted body. time moves in slow motion for you; your eyes drag over the expanse of his infuriatingly divine torse, unable to look away. and then he turns around, looks straight at you, and smirks. your stomach physical twists and you don't even know how you're alive right now, if you're being honest.
you don't even notice how close you've moved to him until he whistles in your direction and tosses the t-shirt into your hands. you're left holding it awkwardly as he dives into the pool, leaving you alone amidst the crowds all over again. he resurfaces a moment later, and over the din of the speakers and people you hear him yell something out to you.
"keep it if you want!"
fucking mind reader.
RULE NUMBER 05: NEVER HANG OUT WITH HIM WHEN HIS BROTHER'S NOT AROUND.
you are sprawled out on your lawn with a book in hand, not-so-discreetly staring at choso on the other side of the fence when you lock eyes with him. your first instinct is to look away, but then he flashes you a knowing grin and holds out his beer towards you. "want a drink?"
it's barely four in the afternoon. who even drinks at this time? other than choso, apparently. you don't want to seem too eager, so you sit up and pretend to think. "but i'm reading."
he leans back on his deckchair, yawning. "no one says you can't read here."
"okay," you huff, getting up and brushing off your shorts with one hand. your other hand's thumb is tucked into the book to mark your page — not that you've gotten very far today, courtesy of him.
there's a cooler beside him that you hadn't noticed before; if you're being honest you hadn't even thought of the drinks beforehand, just choso. he hands you a bottle, laughing when you almost drop it because of the cold surface, and your fingers brush when you finally take it from him. it's nothing that significant, but it's akso enough to set butterflies free inside your stomach.
choso's dark hair is tied up today, spiky twin buns on either side of his head. you're not sure how he pulls it off, but he does. he's wearing a loose tank top and shorts, and he looks even better up close. maybe this was a bad idea; now he'll definitely notice if you dare to look.
"something wrong?" his low voice startles you out of your panic-slash-daydream, and you turn to look at him awkwardly from where you're sat on the second deckchair by the pool.
"it's just warm outside, i guess." it's the first reply that comes to mind; a flimsy excuse, considering you'd been doing just fine in your own lawn. he hums in acknowledgement, taking a final swig of his drink before tossing it expertly into the trashcan at the other end of the yard.
"inside's always an option." he rubs his jaw, arm flexing involuntarily. you are graced with a concerning amount of inappropriate, unholy thoughts.
"sure."
RULE NUMBER 06: NEVER GO INSIDE WITH HIM.
stupid, stupid, stupid. you are extremely, undeniably stupid. you must be, because no normal, sane, self-respecting person should ever be finding themself in this position. specifically, half-drunk on your best friend's couch (while he's not at home) and staring shamelessly at his older brother's lips (he is in turn staring at yours).
okay, wait, rewind. let's review: half past four, he's leading you in through the back door. by six the beer is almost finished and you're half-drunk and giggling and reminiscing about past memories.
i had the biggest crush on you when i was little, you laugh. you're not sure why you say it; you regret it immediately — this was truly stupid — but there's nothing that can be done about this except to try and keep it in the past tense now. he laughs with you. then: i know, me too. still do.
at first you laugh again, a little awkwardly because you'd thought you'd been discreet this whole time. then the second part of his sentence finally registers. "wait, what?"
he smiles lazily, swirling what's left at the bottom of his bottle. "didn't stutter now, did i?"
you shake your head, then proceed to be even more stupid than before.
"me too," you blurt out. "i still like you too."
"i know," he repeats, and nothing comes of it... in the next hour or so, at least. but now you're much closer to each other than you were before, and he's all but giving you unabashed bedroom eyes at fucking eight pm. you want to kiss him.
"oh, really?" an unfamiliar cheshire-cat smile is shot at you, and you realise with rising horror that you've said it out loud.
"on a scale of one to ten..." he trails off, and a thumb barely grazes your lower lip. "on a scale of one to ten, how bad do you want to kiss me?"
your answer is immediate and reckless. "like a twelve?"
the answer seems to satisfy him well enough, and one of his large hands cups your face. you instinctively lean into his touch as he leans in towards you. his rings are cold metal against your cheek; you suck in a breath nervously, simultaneously excited, and scared of what's to come.
"sweetheart," choso breathes against your lips, and you think you might spontaneously combust on the spot. "sweetheart, i'd love to indulge you, but neither of us are sober right now."
and he pulls away. you're definitely going to cry about this when you get home.
"i think there's been enough drinking, i'll walk you to your door." there's a small smile on his face, albeit a sad one as he helps you stand up. "but if you're really serious about it, you'll come back tomorrow and we can have a repeat of this conversation while not drunk."
he presses a soft kiss your forehead at the door; suddenly, you see the choso you'd liked when you were younger. the one who'd looked out for you over everything else, always. not that this version is any less attractive, but sometimes it feels like you don't really know the
"you don't have to do anything you're not okay with," he tells you. "you are always the first priority. if you don't feel like coming back tomorrow, don't. i'll be here for the rest of the summer anyways. and if you don't feel like coming back at all—" he cuts himself off with a short laugh. "then don't, i'll respect your decision."
RULE NUMBER 07: NEVER COME BACK THE NEXT DAY.
you're nervous as fuck the next day; this presents itself in your actions. from almost brushing your teeth with hand soap to eating acrylic paint, you've done it all. you pull out the first presentable pieces of clothing — a black shirt, somewhat unfamiliar, which is weird — and jean shorts to wear. by noon you're all but vibrating with anxiety, waiting for an okay time to go over to his place. wait, what is an okay time to go visit, anyways?
oh well, now's as good a time as any, you decide.
"you're wearing my shirt," he tells you as soon as he opens the door. there is an amused lilt to his voice and you just want to sink down into the ground and die of mortification.
"shit, sorry," you begin, but he waves your concerns away with a laugh.
"calm down, it's okay." choso steps away from the door to let you walk in, gently closing it behind you. "besides, you look good in it, so i'm not complaining."
the undisguised flirting, the way he compliments you so easily throws you off, twists around your lungs and wrings the breath out of them. you clear your throat uncomfortably. "so, about last night."
"yeah?"
"what do you want, exactly?"
he hums, a low, noncommittal sound. "you're a clever girl, i'm sure you can guess."
oh god. holy fuck. your hands ball into tight fists at your sides and your stare burns holes into the carpet. you don't respond.
"surely you didn't forget what we mentioned last night?"
you shake your head silently. of course not— how could you? he laughs, but you know he's nervous too. "cute. well, all i have to say is that i've wanted you for a long while now, and if you reciprocate—"
cute. cute, he thinks you're cute. holy fuck, he likes you back. you haven't thought about what to do this far out; you didn't even think it'd happen. your brain is running on overdrive, and you don't even realise you're standing up until everything comes back into focus and you blurt out, "i do! reciprocate, i mean."
the bemusement on his face morphs into a broad grin. "yeah?"
"uh... yeah."
he stands up too, comes closer. "we should do something about that, shouldn't we?"
"we should."
RULE NUMBER 08: NEVER LET HIM KISS YOU.
"pretty girl." choso brushes some of your hair away from your face gently; his gaze is so lovesick it leaves you speechless. the most surprising part of this is that it hasn't changed one bit from before — it's just that you're only starting to notice it now. but his fingers encircle your wrist softly, and his eyes flick down to your lips, then back up. his other hand runs nervously through his hair, now let down.
"so what now?"
"what now?" you echo.
the corners of his lips tilt up. i could kiss you, if you want?"
oh, holy shit. you hadn't expected that one. it's a split second decision, no hesitation as you nod.
it's everything you've expected and yearned for and imagined and more. you're flying, you're floating, you're falling, and choso catches you and it's the most intoxicating thing you've ever experienced. you are drunk off the way he kisses you, almost animalistic, like he's waited for this his entire life. maybe he has.
his hand slips under your shirt — "this okay?" you say yes, of course you do — and you're pushed up against the wall of his living room, broad daylight where anyone could walk in. you don't really care, though.
leg hooked over his hip, fingers tangled into his hair, you really can't care less right now. he lets out a breathy, appreciative moan when you tug lightly; he kisses you harder & as if his life depends on it.
this is worrying, he is addicted. addicted enough that he finds himself craving your lips, your touch, you every conscious second. even in the half-minute spent rushing to his room, even though you're going hand-in-hand, he still wants more, craves for more.
RULE NUMBER 09: NEVER STAY THE NIGHT.
he pulls away to look at you, splayed out so prettily on his sheets, breathless, just long enough to pant out three small words. "stay the night?"
"mm, yeah," you respond, equally out of breath, gazing up at him with stars in your eyes.
your lips are swollen, hair unkempt. his shirt is a bit too big for you, revealing your collarbones — and the bruises littered across it. you are so fucking beautiful, and it makes him grin down at you wildly before he drops his head down to kiss you again.
RULE NUMBER 10: NEVER DATE YOUR BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND.
"go out with me." large hands skim over your body, as if memorising every part of you. choso's lithe fingers trace lightly down your ribs to your stomach, and then they drop, fitting into place like puzzle pieces and leaving you wrapped loosely in his embrace.
"little too late for that," you laugh hoarsely, leaning back into his touch. you can still feel his warmth through the shirt — his shirt, again, as the first rays of light begin to filter through the blinds.
he laughs with you, nuzzling into your hair. his words come out muffled when he finally speaks. "so we're dating."
"yeah, we are."
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© seisrkvs 2024 do not repost translate or plagiarise.
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betelgeuses-wife · 2 days
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Beetlejuice x fem reader [slight hurt/then comfort fix]
Reader is an adult with a job, living in the beetlejuice house. Fine for 16+ but bear in mind the POV of character for this fic.
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Notes: written for fem reader. Fem pet names.
Type: oneshot
Genre: hurt/comfort
Length: short/medium? Idk word count
Warnings: not sure if any are needed. Some suggestive comments on Bee's part.
Barely proofread.
Do not steal my work or copy and post anywhere else.
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The clock was still chiming as you walked in the door to the house, the bird popped in and out of the clock but the sequence had ended a moment later as you ditched your shoes and bag by the door for a later, more tired you that would remember it right before bed. The house was depressingly quiet, not like you had expected any different. It was just you after all. Well...you and one annoying ghost.
The aged wallpaper seemed greyer than usual and it only provoked your want to rip it off and put up a new pattern. You loved the house and how it was originally decorated but it was in need of some T.L.C. which was something you had the money for but not the time. Your frame slouched as you shuffled over to the couch and sat down on the edge, you knew why it was quiet.
After an argument yesterday about Bee always being around and in your space, especially when you had friends round or the odd date, you had selfishly made him disappear. You had been so frustrated that you said his name three times just to get him off your back but now you felt guilty. It was something that had plagued your mind all day. Nagging at you. You took a breath and rubbed your face, sighing before you spoke quietly to yourself.
"I'm such an ass. He was an ass first. But...still."
You didn't know if you should summon him, to do so would only to be for your own gain. To get some form of comfort. Because you had no one else. Not right now. You would be selfish to. You knew that. So you sat there alone, flicking the TV on though you barely watched it. You couldn't help but think about what Bee had told you over the last couple of years. How he married and it didn't work out. How he helped the couple who lived here before and was let down. And he had helped you. Albeit for a deal. But you had kept up your end of the deal until yesterday. And even still, without asking or without expecting anything he had helped you out with much more than you deserved. He kept an eye on you. Made sure you were taken care of when you got hom even though he'd act like he wasn't doing it for you and it was just out of boredom.
And you had sent him away. All because, what? You didn't like that he called out the new friends you made who said things they shouldn't have? Because the dates you brought home did something that made you uncomfortable? Did you really get annoyed with him because he looked out for you and you were too stubborn to realise it?
How could you summon him for your own comfort after that? You couldn't. It would be an asshole move. You knew that. So you sat in your own pathetic guilt for the evening. You heated up a meal you had made and frozen earlier in the week, it was a lousy meal without your usual dining experience. The reruns of shows didn't seem as funny as they usually did either. You sighed heavily and tried to power through your dinner but suddenly you didn't feel hungry anymore. The day was was feeling heavier by the minute and you contemplated just having a shower and going to bed.
You forced yourself from your spot on the couch and threw the rest of your meal away before placing your dirty dishes in the sink. You'd do that later. Tomorrow. You didn't really have the energy to care in that moment.
You convinced yourself that maybe getting an early night would be best. Then you'd have a longer weekend if you didn't sleep in. You were lying to yourself that you'd get a good night's sleep. You put your shoes away on the rack and lazily placed your bags up against the wall. It was good enough to not be a trip hazard later at least. It felt like you were dragging your body up the stairs but your mind was elsewhere, the pesky thoughts of how lonely it must be for Bee. He was probably up in the tiny model graveyard. That's where he had been before.
Sure, Bee had said some nasty things too yesterday. A slur of names. Theoretical accusations too. But you had still sent him back to where ever he had been before. You could've just gone to bed or the bathroom. Out of respect he kept out of those places unless, for whatever reason, you called for him while there. You had other options and you still picked to say his name three times. What a dick move.
Those thoughts swam in circles in your mind as you wandered into your bedroom, your dazed mind barely able to figure out your next move. You showered and pulled on your worn shirt that had transitioned from outerwear to comfy bed top which was paired with a pair of shorts from a set but you had lost the shirt to it years ago. A strange combination that was quite normal for you now.
You climbed into bed, the sheets were fresh as you had fallen asleep on the couch yesterday, a strangely nice surprise that you welcomed. Freshly clean, comfy clothes, you should've felt content and ready for sleep and yet you stared out the window numbly. You laid there, waiting for sleep set in, waiting for your eyes to grow tired but it seemed your mind was far too determined for that. You sighed and closed your eyes for a moment.
"Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice." And you waited.
And waited some more.
But there was just silence.
You opened your eyes and still the room was empty. Until you looked over at the door frame where the pale man in a striped suit was leaning. His eyes on his hands as he picked at his nails before crossing him arms. He looked less than pleased.
"Well, thank ya for lettin' me out, toots. Nice t'know ya need me." His words were anything but sweet this time. The sarcastic poison dripped from his words. The tone just made you sink back into bed without a retort unlike you usually would.
"I'm sorry I sent you away. I shouldn't of. You can have free reign of the house. I'm getting an early night anyway..." Your voice was quiet. Defeated. Bee seemed to notice and instead of his usual mocking manner, he moved around to the empty side of the bed and sat down.
"Doll, ya really think bein' put in time out for a day is gunna do much t'me? I'm a ghost! A day's nothin'." You watched as he exclaimed and moved to get comfortable on the bed; sat up against the pillows and the headboard, his legs crossed at the ankles.
"I don't know...I promised I wouldn't. I made a deal and I broke it. Like the people here did before...I thought you'd hate me." You hated the whole 'woe is me' confession but it still needed to be said.
You heard a snort and glanced up to see Bee looking out the window before shifting his eyes onto you.
"Hate ya? C'mon. Ya think I could hate ya for that? Annoyed? Sure. Ready t'make the rest of ya life a livin' hell? Definitely. But it'd take more than that t'make me hate you, sweetcheeks"
You sighed and shifted under the blankets, you felt a little relieved but still also felt bad for what you did.
"Do you think..." Your words trailed off.
"Do I think what, Toots?"
"Do you think you could stay here tonight? Just until I fall asleep anyway..."
"Oh? You're invitin' me to sleep with ya?" You watched as his annoying smirk grew.
"Bee. Fine. Get out. I'll sleep by myself." You stated as you turned away from the man. Your back now facing him.
"Hey- hey- hey-! I'll behave. I promise! I'll just lay 'ere. Like a statue! See!" You heard his voice desperately pipe up.
"Put some pyjamas on then. No shoes on the bed." You mumbled as you rolled back over onto your other side, watching as Beetlejuice got up and change into striped pyjamas with a cloud of smoke. He did a little show of jazz hands for added affect.
"Ta-da-! How'd I look? Sleek? Sexy? Seducing?" His words drawn out while he posed for each word.
"Just get in the damn bed, Bee. Before I change my mind." Rolling your eyes at the theatrics.
You watched as he scrambled to get under the covers and shifted closer to you. And closer still until you stopped him.
"Don't push your luck, Juice." Your words earned a groan. You closed your eyes and tried to settle, laying in silence for a while. You knew he was just pretending to sleep so you'd feel comfortable. You peeked up and scooted closer until you were nearly against his chest. Perhaps this was too close. You tried to back away but you found Bee's arm over your waist.
"Don't try t'run away now, Sweets." His voice was low and gravelly but he still spoke in a softer voice than usual.
You huffed a little but didn't move away again. You didn't speak for a moment. You just laid silently, eyes on Bee's chest though you were lost in thought.
"Work got the better of ya today"
"I never said that."
"Ya don't have'ta"
"Great. Glad to know you can tell I hate my job."
"I can tell ya tired, Dollface. Its'all I meant"
His words were strangely comforting. He was trying at least.
"Stop tryna be s'tough and lemme help ya"
He was right. Usually after a bad day you'd cling to him and watch some stupid show. But now you were in bed. A place he wasn't ever allowed before. This felt...different.
You sighed and snuggled up to him like you usually would on the couch, you felt his arms tighten around you before one moved up to the back of your head, his fingers gently running through your hair.
"I'll be 'ere, Doll. I ain't got anywhere else t'go anyway. Or maybe we could get things heated up if ya cold-"
"Beetlejuice."
"Alright- just layin here. Like a statue."
You soon started to drift off to his familiar touch. His arm holding you close and his fingers massaging your scalp, it lulled you into a deep sleep. It had you questioning whether you should invite Bee to bed more often.
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genderqueerdykes · 3 days
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enby here wanting to dress more femme
ive grown up not caring how i looked at all
things like how to dress nice are things i just havnt been taught growing up and im feeling quite lost now as a result
like how to make sure my hair dosnt get greasy hair even after washing it the night before is beyond me
are there any resources you could point me to that would help?
(awesome blog tysm <3)
i get where you're coming from, i was not taught how to groom myself by my mom. she just kinda let my thick curly hair get mats and then yell at me for it. i also didn't dress femme ever i was butch from the start so she gave up and never taught me makeup, how to coordinate outfits, all that stuff
with your hair, it's going to totally depend on your hair type. using the wrong products for your hair can result in all kinds of unexpected things, such as becoming too greasy or too dry. what i would first recommend is trying to figure out what your specific hair type is. you can google "hair type test/chart" and find some results like this:
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once you figure out where your hair falls in that spectrum, you can search for products that are good for and bad for your hair type. nobody teaches this unfortunately i learned from stylists and other mixed people about how diverse hair texture is!
if you are looking for makeup tips or fashion tips i would honestly just recommend searching for those sorts of things on youtube. makeup tutorials are plentiful there. instagram can be an interesting place to see what kind of fashion people are into at the moment. you can honestly also just wing it. what i've been doing lately is just looking at all of the things i've desperately wanted to wear over the years and going for that
it doesn't matter if at first you're not great at coordinating outfits, or if you aren't super good at telling what clothes do and don't fit. you are allowed to carve out what femme means to you and wear what you want. you'll find in time what things are comfortable for you and what you just can't stand. there are certain things about dressing femme i don't like. i hate bras, for example
i would really appreciate some better suggestions for this anon! i'm open to more ideas because i just went into dressing femme blind. i looked at people around me to find inspiration. i knew what i've been drawn to all my life and decided to go for that. your journey will look different, and i hope you're able to figure out what you're comfortable with and what you feel like is really "you"!
take care! good luck out there
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redhoodkisser · 3 days
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jason and dick who helps the reader w a bad relationship w food (hurt/comfort pls)
note ; note at the top this time because i've actually never written hurt/comfort before so i apologize if its terrible
food for thought
content warnings ; reader is suggested to have ed, it will be discussed in both character parts
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jason todd
Jason notices a pattern with you and food. Now, don't get him wrong, he doesn't mind if you're a picky eater or not, what matters to him is that he knows you've eaten. But, he's always observed the way you were when there was food served to you. To him, it looked like.. you were struggling to eat? He doesn't know exactly, but he's going to get to the bottom of this. He's not gonna continue watching you starve yourself.
He catches you in the living room, so he settles down right next to you on the couch. He looks at you and squints his eyes at you. You were doing your work on your laptop, but when you realised he was staring at you, your typing slowed down and.. stopped altogether.
“Is.. everything alright, Jason?” You ask in a confused tone and expression on your face. Oh, but, you knew you shouldn't have asked that. That's the exact face he makes when he's about to interrogate you about a certain topic. So, you let out a sigh and immediately surrender. Shutting your laptop and putting it aside, you cross your arms against your chest.
“What is it this time?" Your tone was slightly irritated this time.
“I just had a question about you." He let out a small sigh, ”uh, do you have any.. problems with food? It's because I notice you struggling a bit when it comes to food, I just wanna know if everything's okay, baby. And, that if I can do anything to help. That's all I wanted ask.” He placed his hand on your shoulder, gently rubbing it back and forth.
You hated discussing this topic a lot during your teen years and you still do now. It made your blood boil every single damn time someone asked. “It doesn't matter, alright? I'm fine with food, I've always been!" You raise your voice a little bit, telling a small lie. He frowns slightly, “hey, now, when have you ever lied to me about these types of situations?–” “Because they're not just a situation, okay?!” You're now fully shouting at him.
He raises his hands in surrender, “okay, okay, sweets, I'm sorry. But, I just.. I just wanted to try and help. But, I don't know how I'm able to help if you're gonna be stubborn like this.” Tears were slowly building up in your eyes. “Oh, come on, don't cry. I'm sorry, okay? Come here.” You immediately went and wrapped your arms around him tightly, sobbing your heart out in his chest.
His hands were slowly patting your back, rubbing it back and forth a few times as he let you cry it all out. Once she had properly calmed herself down after letting it all out, she took a deep breath in. “I have an eating disorder. And, it's really hard to deal with it. It started all the way from secondary school, I just.. thought I wasn't pretty enough. Every time I ate, I would watch out for how many calories I ate in a day, even counting it all. I just.. wanted to be pretty like everyone else.”
He stared at you for a few seconds before moving his hands up to cup your face. “Babe, do you know how.. how perfect you are to me? I know I can't change your mind on this, but I can and want to try and help you with your eating disorder. I wanna help, 'kay sweets?" He plants a kiss on your cheek.
“..Okay, Jason.” You let out a small chuckle.
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dick grayson
Dick's already discussed this matter with you a couple of times, but he still worries for you, you know? So, this is why he sat you down to talk to you about this.
His hands were entwined with yours, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand. “What's going on in that pretty head of yours, mm?” He asked, teasing you a bit. “Nothing's going on, Dick." You tried to reassure him, but he wasn't taking it.
“I'm not convinced, come on, tell me what's wrong. Lay it on me, babe.” He also tried to convince you to tell him what was wrong, but you weren't budging at all “I know it's difficult to discuss this so many times, but I just wanna make sure you're okay. I just.. need to know you're okay at all times. Look, if you aren't gonna tell me, it's okay. But, I just want you to know, I'm here for you.” And, with a little push from his words, you let out a sigh.
“Okay, okay. I guess.. it has gotten a bit worse lately. I dunno, okay? I just.. really think I should lay off the food for a bit. I don't want to eat that many calories a day, and I want to go on this die–” Before you could even finish the word, he immediately pressed a finger on your lips, shaking his head.
“No, no, and no. You are not going on that diet again, you hear me? It's bad for you! Don't you remember the amount of times you've fainted? Because you only had a salad in the mornings only, which I'll remind you, is not healthy.” He let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wasn't mad or upset, just a bit disappointed you were gonna take on this diet again without telling him.
He looked back at you again, “babe, I.. I wanna help. Please, tell me how I can help. I don't want to see you putting yourself through that.. nonsense of a diet.” You let out a shaky sigh. “It's not easy, okay? It's never been easy!” You didn't even realize it, but tears were streaming down your face. Dick pulled you for a hug, gently rubbing your back in circles and whispering words of comfort in your ear.
Once you had let it all out, he spoke, “I.. I don't fully understand how this works. You know, eating disorders. I've never experienced it, and I want to guide you through this. I know it won't go away, but if I can just help.. it's all I need to see you okay. Alright?" He says as he plants a kiss on your forehead, pushing away stray hairs sticking to your wet cheeks.
You nod, wiping your tears in the process. “..Thank you, Dick.” You thank him, sniffling. “Of course, babe, you know I'd do anything for you.” He smiles brightly at you, causing you to smile as well.
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another note ; hii i know i said this was supposed to be out on the weekend but i had some personal issues to attend to :') sorry to anon who had to wait almost(?) a week for this, but i hope you enjoy it regardless<3
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typicalopposite · 2 days
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Thanks @priincebutt for the tag 🫶
slowly making my way through chapter 7! 🫠 sorry this has become my whole personality lately 😂 this is my main fic at the moment!
“Kinard!” Captain Collier calls from his office, nearly causing Tommy to drop the laptop he has meticulously balanced on his (extremely, dreadfully, embarrassingly) large belly. He has long since been able to comfortably do anything at his desk— the bump getting in the way, and sitting at an angle hurts his constantly aching back— so he has been using the bump instead… God knows it sticks out far enough anyway. He lifts the laptop off, and sets it on the table; crumbs from the bag of chips he was eating topple from his shirt to the floor when he stands. He frowns at the mess and grabs the broom he keeps close by (this happens often) and sweeps them into a pile. “Tommy?” Collier repeats softer this time, poking his head out of his office. 
“Uh, come— coming Cap!” He tries in vain to bend and reach the dustpan. He holds on to the desk for support but he feels like he’s going to tumble forward every time he starts to lower himself. Then he sits back down and tries again… still with no success; he even tries to flip it onto the broom and balance it up to the desk.
“Let me,” Collier says, now beside him. He takes the broom then bends down and sweeps the crumbs into the dustpan. After he throws the crumbs away he straightens back up and sits on the edge of Tommy’s desk. “Tommy…” he says again, and just from the look on his face, Tommy already knows what he’s about to say. “Listen. I know you want to work up until you deliver, but I really think it’s time.” Tommy can feel his mouth pulling down and Collier sighs.  “Hey… come on, don’t do that.” 
Tommy is trying desperately not to humiliate himself by ‘doing that’— i.e. crying— but it has gotten so much harder lately. He feels huge, and heavy, and tired, and sore all the time! All that meshes together and has made him somehow even more emotional. 
“What did you do to him, Cap!?” Lucy gasps, walking into the hanger. 
Collier sucks at his teeth and pushes off the desk. “I didn’t do anything but suggest he make these last weeks easier on himself.” 
“Well,” Lucy says… more so to Tommy. 
“Not you too, Luce?!” Tommy feels his pout deepen. 
Lucy laughs, and comes up behind him, squeezing and massaging his shoulders before wrapping her arms around him. “Don’t get me wrong, work will suck without you, and I am going to miss you so much; I don’t want you to leave…” she says. “I just want you to get some rest… you know the whole cliche you better sleep while you can because you won’t once baby is here— except you’re gonna have two babies keeping you up, and I honestly can’t remember the last time you’ve come to work and not looked exhausted… you’re overdue for some rest.”
Tommy would argue, except he knows he can’t; she’s right. The twins are growing beautifully, which makes him so happy and relieved… and massive, and miserable. He isn’t upset at the weight he’s gained, he is confident in himself enough to know he can lose it once they're born (and honestly even if he doesn’t lose a single pound, he is so happy both babies are healthy and thriving he wouldn’t care). However, he’s not been allowed to lift above his head since he announced the pregnancy, and getting something from lower than his waist at this point is damn near impossible. Lacey says he shouldn’t be carrying anything more than 15 pounds; and between the twins using his bladder and his lower spine for kickboxing practice, he is either in the bathroom or pacing the hanger trying to ease the back pain. 
He’s exhausted from the lack of sleep the pain is causing, and he needs help doing pretty much anything that’s not sitting and typing, and that is not something they even need him at the station to do. Collier has been trying to convince him to work from home for a couple months… Tommy’s just— Hell even he’s not a hundred percent sure why he’s holding on to working for so long… He looks past Collier and Lucy at the helicopter’s, and he can’t even fly at the moment, but it’s been nice being near them. Watching them take off, watching them come back… he misses it. He’s going to miss this, and his team. “You’re probably right…” he finally admits. “I guess I should take advantage of the last few weeks of calm.” 
Lucy smiles, and hugs him. “Good for you; you have more than earned a break,” she says squeezing him. “I’m gonna miss you, Kinard.” 
“I’ll miss you too, Luce,” he replies, voice soft and shaky. 
“Hey,” she says, pulling back to wipe the tears that are starting to fall from both their eyes. “This is not a forever goodbye, okay? I am going to come by and get my baby fix every day I have off… you’re gonna be so tired of me!” 
“Never,” he laughs.
Tagging: @onthewaytosomewhere @30somethingautisticteacher @judymarch15 @nine-one-wanton
@bidisasterevankinard @kinardsevan @somethingaboutfirefly @bucksxkinard @mmso-notlikethat
@sunnywithachanceofbi @herrmannhalsteadproduction @marvelousbuckley
And anyone else who wants to share their writing 🫶🫶
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m3l0nfl0at · 9 hours
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Hi, I just wanted to say I enjoy reading ur Kuroo’s stories, the way u portray him is so accurate and y/n is very relatable. I don’t know if u take requests but here’s an idea, what if y/n’s sister has a kid and Kuroo and y/n is babysitting.
And after they finished babysitting they’re having a late night pillow talk about their future domestic life.
juno - t. kuroo
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kuroo x f! reader ; fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, no y/n used, reader has a niece, playful teasing, kuroo gets suggestive for like a second but nothing major, future hints for just say yes! timeline, k words
summary ; your sister asks kuroo and you to babysit your niece for the night, which leads to you thinking about the future of your relationship
melons recommended melody ; may you never forget me - temachii
links ; just say yes masterlist and taglist request
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Answering your sister’s call was the last thing you expected to do today. Only for her to explain that she wanted you to babysit for a couple of hours. It’s not like you’re not good with children, it's just more that you’re not really the playful type. In what other children at your age had lacked in education, you lacked in imagination. Every time your niece wanted to play you felt guilty for not playing along. Yet for some odd reason your niece loved you? Every time you saw her at your sister’s house she always came running to you like some magnet. However, you hadn’t introduced her to Kuroo just yet. Due to him feeling “an enormous pressure” with you being her favorite and something along the lines of he can’t take your place. You always laughed at his snarky comments like sure, he could take your place as the favorite relative? Yeah right.
“Can I come with you?”, you look over at Kuroo questioningly. You both give each other a blank stare, you confused and Kuroo thinking you didn’t hear him. “Yeah, I thought you were coming with me this whole time?” Kuroo nods unaware that he made that decision. You wave him off, remembering him making a remark yesterday about he’s going to replace you and be the best relative. Kuroo slides right next to you on the couch, kissing your cheek before laying his head on your lap. “I’m kind of scared, your niece seems to effortlessly love you. I think I might have to bribe her to take your spot.” You laugh at him wanting to bribe your niece, truly a conman aura. You start playing with his hair, “Well my niece loves anything I love, so I’m sure she’ll love you too.”
Upon arrival at your sister’s, Kuroo's nerves never once faltered; he knows you talk highly of your niece. What’ll happen if he doesn’t impress her or even worse makes her cry on instinct? Will you break up with him? Realize he’s terrible with kids and then break up with him? Glancing over to Kuroo in the passenger’s seat you see him fiddling with his fingers, a habit he picked up from you. Knowing the feeling all too well you grab his hands, “No need to be nervous we’re just watching my niece. Don’t worry, she’s really well behaved and super smart for her age.” Kuroo nods knowing if anything happens you were right beside him, you laugh. “And you really thought you were going to replace me looking like a nervous wreck? You have a lot to learn my love.”, kissing his cheek as you hop out the car.
Knocking on your sister's door, hearing footsteps and her animals patter beyond the door. Her husband opens the door greeting you and Kuroo before you hear your niece’s footsteps running down the hallway. You bend down as your niece greets you in a big hug, “There she is! Did you miss me?” Kuroo’s heart clenches at the sight of you with your niece. “I have so much to show you and tell you! I got student of the month and I also did this art of me and-“ your niece glances behind you. “Um, who’s that?”, you laugh looking back at Kuroo nodding in his direction letting him know to introduce himself. “I’m Kuroo, I’m your aunt's boyfriend.”, he extended his hand out so she could shake it. She slowly takes steps to him before grabbing his finger and shaking his hand suspiciously.
“Auntie, can he play with us?”, you tap your finger against your chin. Kuroo coughs, interrupting your thoughts, “I guess so.”, you both stick your tongues out at each other. “Alright sis, the dog and cat are fed so just keep an eye on them. Don’t give them any more treats please!”, she glared at you knowing you often bribed them. “As for her, bedtime is at 9:00 since it’s the weekend.”, your niece huffs as you ruffle her hair. “We’ll be back in a couple of hours, thank you both for agreeing to watch the house.”, you nod as you walk your sister to her front door, locking it for safety. Turning around to see Kuroo and your niece staring at each other, you could just feel the awkwardness in the air. “Ok you two, what do you want to do first?” Kuroo looks at your niece shrugging. “Let’s go play in my room!”, you grab Kuroo shaking the nerves out of his shoulders as you follow your niece to her room.
Walking to your nieces room you feel yourself deflate, you hate playing pretend. How could you possibly be so bad at something that wasn’t even real? Your niece grabs multiple character toys before handing some to Kuroo and to you. As she tells you the narrative for her pretend play you look over at Kuroo, seeing him listening intently even wanting to add some plot points. You smile, for someone who was a nervous wreck a couple of minutes ago, he suited this role nicely. Kuroo was always so attentive and patient you knew he would get along nicely with your niece. “Auntie! Are you listening? Stop looking at your boyfriend.”, Kuroo laughs as you look away guiltily, apologizing.
“Ok, now that you’re focused auntie! You’ll be the fairy cat, while Roo is the DJ cat, and I'll be Gabriella, the human.” Kuroo looks at the toy your niece handed you, poking at its feet, giggling. Halfway through playing you decide you were going to excuse yourself to the bathroom. It wasn’t till your niece heard the door click that she put down her toys and looked at Kuroo. “Roo, I think auntie doesn’t really like playing pretend but you’re really good at it.”, Kuroo smiles before he decides to backtrack. “Why do you think that is?”, your niece pulls him closer before whispering in his ear. “She says it’s a secret but I think she just doesn’t know how to pretend.”, she pulls away from Kuroo’s ear before grabbing her toy once again. “But she tries, that’s why she’s my favorite.”, Kuroo takes a mental note to ask you what the secret is later. Ruffling your niece’s hair, “Well thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that.”. She giggles at Kuroo and continues to play pretend with him.
As you go in the bathroom you feel yourself relax, hearing your niece giggling felt somewhat rewarding. Knowing she finally had someone interesting enough to play with was a relief. You knew she would get attached to Kuroo, I mean he often worked with children due to his job. Feeling appreciative for him, you decide to take this time to update your sister on how everything is going so far. Opening the door to go take a picture of the fur babies but instead are met with the sight of Kuroo dramatically playing with your niece. Snapping a picture of that instead, making sure to make it your lock screen when you have time. Watching them from afar, thinking of how your future with Kuroo might look. Taking a moment to imagine a mini combination of you and him walking around your apartment. Thinking of moments like Kuroo holding a baby, Kuroo teaching your kid volleyball, or watching him play with your child from afar. You feel yourself fall deep into the comfort of the moment, just watching how amazing your partner was and continues to be.
Slowly walking away forgetting the task at hand, you softly head downstairs. Kuroo turns around to find your back turned to him and all he can think of is that he hopes you're okay. Snapping back into the moment with your niece as he hears you continuing to head downstairs. You find your sister's black cat laying in its cat tower, giving it strokes on its back. Looking around to find her pet beagle, only to find it also resting in its pet bed. Sending pictures and a text to her, reassuring her to continue having fun because everything was going swiftly. Walking around her house you see a picture of your sister and you as children in her hallway, you falter seeing your parents behind you in the picture. You touch the frame baffled how long ago this picture was from, thinking back to the day. Your parents were fighting but your sister paid them no mind, she was always such an independent thinker. You remember her telling you that they were just dumb adults and to only focus on her and taking a beautiful picture. To end up so different from her, you wonder what went wrong, why you were so…different?
“Auntie! Kuroo says you make the best smoothies! Can you make me one?” You and the pets are disturbed by your niece's booming voice traveling through the house. “Oh did he? You know what since he said that he has to help me make it now!”. Kuroo keeps a pace behind your niece while you stand in front of the staircase, for safety reasons. You peck Kuroo on the cheek, “Which smoothie are you talking about? You’re the one who usually makes me smoothies, handsome.”. Kuroo hugs you from behind as you start looking through the cabinet for a blender. “I’m talking about the chocolate banana one you make for me, when I want a sweet treat.”, you nod remembering that one time you made it for him when he got home from work. To be fair though, chocolate made anything taste good but hearing Kuroo brag about it as if it was the first smoothie he ever had in his life, made your heart beat ten times faster.
“Ok lovie, I’m going to look for the ingredients but when I say cover your ears-”, you demonstrate. Even though she knows how to do an action so simple, you don’t want her to feel alone. “Make sure you cover them because the noise is really loud, okay?”, she flashes you a thumbs up heading to sit down at the table. Kuroo pulls out a chair for her, leaning on the counter top so he can monitor you both at the same time. Your niece gets up to look at all the artwork displayed on the fridge, looking for a specific piece. “Here it is! Look auntie! This is the one I did in class, it’s us!” You stop chopping for a second to look at the artwork she’s showing, bending down to her eye level. “This is such a well drawn picture, lovie. I see you drew my hair nice and pretty!” pointing to the picture, letting her know you understood it. “Oh! You even added little cat ears to us like your toys! I love it, can I take it home with me?” She nods as you give her a hug. Kuroo smiles to himself so hard it hurts, you were so easy to love it was effortless. From your kind personality to your adoring smile, he would never doubt his ability to love you.
You hand the drawing to Kuroo so he could place it by your phone, remembering to take the drawing home with you guys. Kuroo drags your niece to the living room, asking her if she wanted to watch anything as you finished chopping the remaining smoothie ingredients. “Ok lovie, cover your ears!”, you watch your niece cover her ears but unexpectedly you see Kuroo covers his as well. As you start blending, you watch Kuroo get up and place his elbows over your ears. Laughing at how considerate and ridiculous your boyfriend was. Flashing a thumbs up to signify that you finished up blending, Kuroo let’s go setting up three glasses. “Ok lovie, order up!”, your niece comes running to get her smoothie. “Wow, so good! Roo was right, it's delicious!”, you smile looking at the clock seeing it was almost time to put her to bed. “Thirty minutes till someone has to go to bed!”, you pinch her cheek before giving it a quick kiss. “No fair! I felt like I spent no time with you!” you look down sadly, seeing her pout. “Well, I can read you a bedtime story and we can do your night time routine together! Just you and I, no stinky Roo there.” she laughs as Kuroo rolls his eyes.
Making sure to do her whole routine with her as she talked about various topics to the episodes she watched to the things she learned in school. As she’s talking you start to comb her hair, braiding it. You see her in the mirror yawning as you tie off her braid. You help her dust the bed before tucking her in. “Auntie, can you read me something with Roo?” you stop before kissing her head. Nodding, going to go call Kuroo, “My love, I think you’ve officially taken my spot…”, Kuroo grins pulling you into a side hug. “Welp, I told you this would happen. Nothing lasts forever baby, let’s go.”, you tell Kuroo to go ahead while you pick her favorite book. Entering the room hoping you chose correctly. “I know I haven’t read to you in a while lovie, I hope this is still your favorite.”, you pull out the book behind your back. She nods excitedly, “Well it’s my favorite when you read it to me.”. You start getting embarrassed realizing why she liked this book so much, hiding behind the book. “Roo, auntie reads this book the best she does these voices and makes the sound effects and everything!”, Kuroo looks over at you grinning. “Oh does she now? Well I can’t wait to hear it. I’ll hold the book while you read babe.”
You cough, clearing your throat while you shakily read the title. “Auntie, you’re not doing the voice…”, she pouts. Kuroo looks at you seeing how embarrassed you are, “No need to be embarrassed auntie! Please Roo needs to see how awesome of a storyteller you are!” Deciding to put your pride aside you start reading with the voice, hearing Kuroo chuckle at how bizarre you sound. Making sound effects and all, Kuroo thought you were incredibly dorky in an affectionate way. As you finished reading, you saw your niece slowly starting to drift off to sleep, telling her softly goodnight. Lighting up the room with her night lights before exiting her room, shutting the door. As one door closes another one opens, “We’re back! Sorry for coming a bit earlier than expected, we were tuckered out.”. You wave your hands, telling her that it was no problem. You bid each other a goodbye before getting in your car heading home.
Getting home you immediately feel exhaustion take over you, changing clothes and getting ready to sleep. Coming out of the bathroom you see Kuroo dusting the bed, getting ready as well. He meets you halfway before lifting up his hand, expecting a high-five from you. You laugh as your hands meet, “We’re the best relatives ever!”. He grabs you, pulling you into a hug, laughing at his exclamation. Shaking your head and going to lay down on your side, “Tetsu can I be honest with you?”. Kuroo bobs his head, “How bad did I give you the ick while reading that book?”, he laughs and you suddenly feel the urge to crawl in a hole. “I KNEW IT!”, you hid under the covers not wanting to see any sign of life. Kuroo lightly pulls the covers down, “You didn’t give me the ick per say. More like “I got with a major dork.” but I knew you were a dork when we met so I wasn’t too phased.” He kisses your head before pulling you into a cuddle, “You know I think because you’re such a dork that’s why your niece favors you so much.”. Your fingers dance around his chest feeling guilty about getting so much love from your niece. “You know, till this day I really don’t know why I’m her favorite. I can’t even play pretend correctly.”, Kuroo remembers what your niece told him earlier that night. “You know your niece said you had a secret. Care to tell me what it is…?” you look up at him, raising a brow. Trying to think deeply about what secret you told her, only to reach a blank. “Tell me more about this said secret Tetsu?”, Kuroo starts petting your hair.
“She said you had a secret about why you don’t like playing pretend with her.”, you sigh, shaking your head. “I used the word “secret” as an excuse not to dump my trauma onto her.”, still Kuroo starts nudging you hoping you would take the hint to open up. “My parents didn’t really allow me to be a “kid” so I don’t really know how to pretend. I just get a little insecure about it, I mean how does one not know how to play pretend? It’s not even real!”, you laugh at how frivolous it all sounds. Kuroo takes in what you’re saying thinking about your… strange parents. Feeling sympathetic towards you, knowing his parents allowed him some sort of kid-like innocence. Even though his parents had a rocky relationship they never included him, allowing him to focus on friendship and sports. “You can play pretend, that is how we got together in the first place baby.”, you bump his chest playful. “That was a life or death situation, not the same.” You both laugh remembering how you both were so entranced on selling yourself as a couple, years ago. “Don’t think too hard, loving someone like you isn’t complicated. You’re a very caring and nurturing person. Everyone is attracted to a beautiful soul like yours, especially me.”, you roll your eyes.
“You know Tetsu spending today with my niece made me think about us… about having…” Kuroo’s heart stops with each break you take, are you about to say what he thinks you’re going to say? “About having a possible child together someday?” Kuroo felt his heart burst out of his chest, seeing you with your niece being a dork but being oh so kind, he couldn’t help but think of you being a mother. A mini version of each other walking around? Get him a defibrillator, stat. “I mean I know we haven’t gotten married yet and maybe it’s too soon to have children but having a child would be something to start thinking about.” hearing Kuroo’s heartbeat increase as you continue talking. “If it’s a boy, it’ll have your crazy hair or if it’s a girl it’ll have my nose, it makes me think how badly I want that. With you.” You look up to see Kuroo’s face blank, you laugh thinking you’ve broken him. “I know that I don’t come from the best family but I want to be able to give my child an opportunity that I didn’t have, a loving family.”, Kuroo pulls you into a bone crushing hug feeling your sentiment deeper than you could ever know. A loving family, you and him together creating another beautiful life, what more could he ask for? He settles into your shoulder, speech coming out muffled. “You’d be the greatest mother. Seeing you with your niece, I’d never doubt your motherly abilities. You love people so seamlessly and that’s exactly what a child needs.”, you tear up in his arms feeling a sense of peace wash over you. The man you loved, who grew with you these past few years, never once doubted your ability to be a mother.
“So, when do we get started?” you laugh. “No way! You have to marry me first Tetsu.”, Kuroo lifts his eyebrows. “That’s manageable. Expect it soon, always be ready!”, he pecks your lips before you both fall asleep. Kuroo knew he had the ring stashed away in his closet dresser beneath the million novelty ties you got for him each holiday. Truth be told he got that ring after your first official month living together. Living together showed him that he didn’t want to do this life with anyone else but you. This one joke between you was sooner than you think.
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divider credit to @/vase-of-lilies, @/bunnysrph, and @/thecutestgrotto
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚ melon's marginalia: tysm anon for requesting! i try to portray kuroo as accurate as possible so tysm for the reassuring words! i hope all my readers find comfort in my kind of weird girl character because we all deserve some kind of rep. request for just say yes time line are open please consider requesting just like this lovely anon!
taglist: @0tsukie
@m3l0nfl0at on tumblr. All Rights Reserved. Do not steal, copy, or translate any of my works.
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be4chywritez · 14 hours
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sweet nothing | oscar piastri
oscar piastri x heiress!reader
I find myself runnin’ home to your sweet nothings
request : heiress of mclaren and oscar they meet at like a dinner at her estate or something and her dad or like father figure asks if oscar is single, and oscar says yes and her father figure tells them to go on a date and they end up going out maybe oscar is a lil asshole😊
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You brush the dirt off your hands, glancing proudly at the roses you’ve just planted. The soil is warm under your fingers, and you lean back, wiping sweat from your forehead. A small smile plays on your lips as you admire the neat rows of blooms, but your peace is broken when you hear your name being called.
You turn, blinking against the sunlight, and spot your grandfather standing by the patio, his brows furrowed in that way he always does when he’s trying to look serious. Lando stands beside him, grinning widely, and next to him is someone you don’t recognize—a tall guy with messy brown hair and a quiet expression.
Your grandfather calls again, his voice a little sharper now. “Come here for a moment.”
You dust your hands off on your shorts and shuffle over, feeling the light breeze cool the sweat on your skin. Lando’s grin widens as you approach. “Still playing in the dirt, I see,” he teases.
“Always,” you respond, flashing him a playful smile. Your gaze drifts to the new guy, and your curiosity piques. He stands a little more stiffly than Lando, like he’s not quite sure what to do with himself. There’s something about the way he glances at you—polite, but distant—that makes you feel like you’re meeting someone important.
“This is Oscar Piastri,” Lando says, nudging the guy next to him. “Newest McLaren driver.”
Oscar smiles at you, though it’s small and a bit shy, like he’s not used to all the attention. “Hi,” he says, his accent lilting in a way that catches your attention.
“Hi,” you reply, a little awkward, but you can’t help but smile back. You try to remember if you’ve heard his name before, but your mind draws a blank. Racing was never something you followed closely, even if it was always around you.
Before you can say anything else, your grandfather clears his throat, his eyes twinkling with something that makes you uneasy. “Oscar’s a fine driver,” he says, his voice heavy with authority. “I think it would be good for you two to spend some time together.”
You blink, feeling the weight of his words settle over you. “Wait… what?”
Your grandfather’s expression doesn’t falter. He crosses his arms, the hint of a smirk on his lips. “Oscar, are you single?” he asks, turning the conversation before you can even process what he’s suggesting.
Oscar looks a little startled, his eyes darting from your grandfather to you, then back again. “Uh, yes, sir,” he answers, and you notice his fingers fidget slightly, like he’s not sure how to react either.
“Good,” your grandfather replies, his tone firm. “Then I suggest you take my granddaughter out on a date.”
You feel your cheeks warm, your mouth dropping open slightly. “A—date?”
Oscar looks as surprised as you feel, and for a second, you’re not sure who’s more uncomfortable. But then he nods, his voice soft but steady. “If that’s what you want, sir.”
You don’t know what to say. You glance at Oscar, who looks just as confused as you are, but there’s something in his gaze—something careful and maybe even curious. He doesn’t seem like the type to argue with your grandfather, and honestly, neither are you.
Lando, ever the instigator, lets out a low chuckle. “Well, this just got interesting.”
You smile awkwardly, not sure what to make of it all. Oscar offers you a small, almost apologetic smile, and you feel a strange flutter in your chest. Maybe it won’t be so bad. He seems nice enough, and if nothing else, it’ll be a chance to get to know him.
The next day, you find yourself standing in front of a trendy restaurant in the heart of the city. It’s not the quiet, tucked-away café you were imagining, but rather a bustling spot with large windows, modern decor, and a steady stream of people coming and going. Your stomach twists with nervous excitement as you spot Oscar standing by the entrance, looking cool and collected in a crisp white shirt and dark jeans.
“Hey,” he greets you with a brief smile, his hands in his pockets. There’s a casual confidence in the way he stands, but something about his demeanor feels a little… distant, like he’s already halfway checked out of the conversation before it even begins.
“Hey,” you reply, smiling back as he steps aside to let you walk in first. The restaurant hums with energy—clinking glasses, soft chatter, and the occasional laugh. You feel a little out of place, like maybe this is fancier than you were expecting.
Oscar pulls out your chair, but there’s something about the motion that feels more like routine than a thoughtful gesture. As you sit down, he moves quickly to his own seat, already glancing at the menu like this is just another pit stop in his day.
“So, you like this place?” you ask, trying to break the ice.
“Yeah,” Oscar says with a short nod, eyes still scanning the menu. “It’s close by, and the food’s good.” His tone is polite, but there’s an edge to it, like he’s keeping things at arm’s length.
You fiddle with your napkin, glancing around at the other patrons—groups of friends laughing together, couples holding hands. You can’t help but feel a little self-conscious. You were hoping for something quieter, more personal, but this feels… different.
The waiter comes by, and you both place your orders. Oscar seems at ease, chatting with the waiter casually, but when his attention turns back to you, there’s a moment of awkward silence. You search for something to say, but it’s hard to get a read on him. He’s polite, sure, but there’s a wall up—one you can’t quite figure out how to get past.
“So, what do you do for fun?” you ask, trying to steer the conversation into something light.
Oscar leans back, shrugging a little. “Mostly training, to be honest. Racing takes up a lot of my time.”
You nod, not sure what to say next. He’s not giving you much to work with, and you start to wonder if this was a bad idea. Maybe he’s just busy, or maybe he’s just not interested. Either way, the conversation feels stilted, like you’re trying too hard to fill the gaps.
“Do you follow F1?” he asks, breaking the silence.
You bite your lip, feeling a little embarrassed. “Honestly, not really,” you admit. “I mean, I know about it because of my family, but I’ve never really been that into it.”
Oscar raises an eyebrow, a faint smirk playing on his lips. “Kind of ironic, don’t you think?”
You flush slightly, not sure how to take that. “Yeah, I guess so.”
He doesn’t push further, just takes a sip of his water and glances out the window, his mind seemingly elsewhere. You feel a flicker of disappointment. This wasn’t how you imagined your first date going—Oscar seemed nice enough, but there’s a coolness to him that you can’t shake.
As the food arrives, you try to make the best of the situation, steering the conversation back to lighter topics. You talk about your garden again, hoping to spark some interest, but while Oscar listens, he doesn’t offer much in return. Every now and then, he glances at his phone, not enough to be rude, but enough to make you wonder if he’s distracted by something else.
“Sorry,” he says once, slipping the phone back into his pocket. “Just… work stuff.”
You nod, trying to brush it off, but it adds to the growing sense that maybe this date isn’t a priority for him. You had expected a chance to connect, to get to know him beyond the racer image, but it feels like you’re barely scratching the surface.
Still, you don’t want to give up just yet.
“Have you always wanted to be a driver?” you ask, genuinely curious.
Oscar’s gaze flicks to you, his expression softening slightly. “Yeah, since I was a kid. I was pretty focused on it, even when I was younger. It’s all I’ve ever really wanted to do.”
For a moment, you see a glimpse of something more—a passion that runs deep, something that makes him tick. But just as quickly as it appears, it’s gone again, his expression neutral once more.
The rest of the meal passes in a blur of small talk and polite conversation, but the spark you had hoped for never really comes. As the check arrives, Oscar pulls out his card without hesitation, glancing at you with a half-smile.
“Ready to head out?” he asks.
You nod, feeling a little deflated, but you don’t want to show it. Maybe this was just a bad day for him. Maybe he’s just not the type to open up easily. Either way, you feel like there’s something you’re missing, something that keeps him at a distance.
As you both step out into the cool evening air, Oscar walks you to the curb where his car is parked. He pauses for a moment, looking at you, and for a brief second, you wonder if he’s going to say something that might change the tone of the evening.
But instead, he just smiles—a little tired, a little distracted. “It was nice hanging out with you,” he says, his tone polite but nothing more.
“Yeah, it was,” you reply, trying to match his energy, though the words feel hollow.
Oscar opens the car door for you, and as you slide in, you can’t help but wonder what’s really going on behind those guarded eyes. There’s something he’s not telling you—something that keeps him from fully being here with you.
As he drives you home, the silence between you grows, and you find yourself staring out the window, wondering if maybe you were hoping for too much too soon.
Despite the awkwardness of the first date, Oscar lingers in your thoughts more than you’d like to admit. There’s something about him—his quiet intensity, the way he carries himself—that draws you in, even if he hasn’t fully opened up to you yet. Maybe it’s just the mystery of it all. Or maybe it’s the fact that he’s unlike anyone you’ve dated before.
Your crush sneaks up on you slowly. You catch yourself thinking about what you’ll wear next time you see him. You imagine different scenarios in your head—how the next date might go, whether he’ll be more relaxed, more present. You convince yourself that it’s just a matter of time.
When the next race rolls around, you decide to attend. You tell yourself it’s because you’re supporting McLaren, but deep down, you know it’s because of Oscar. Even though things were a little off between you two, there’s a part of you that’s eager to see him again. Maybe things will be different this time.
The race is packed with spectators, and the air hums with excitement. As you weave through the crowds, you feel a mixture of nerves and anticipation. Watching Oscar on the track feels different now—you’re not just another fan in the stands. You’re here for him, and that thought makes your heart race a little faster.
The race itself is thrilling, and you can’t help but feel happiness as Oscar crosses the finish line. He doesn’t win, but he holds his own, finishing in a solid position. You smile, thinking about how you’ll congratulate him afterward.
After the race, you find your way to the paddock, your heart pounding in your chest as you spot Oscar among the throngs of people. He’s surrounded by his team, all smiles and handshakes as they celebrate a job well done. When he sees you, his expression flickers for a moment—recognition, maybe a touch of something softer—but it’s gone just as quickly as it appears.
“Hey,” you greet him, your voice a little too bright. “Congrats on the race.”
“Thanks,” Oscar replies, offering you a polite smile. His demeanor is cool, but not unfriendly—just… reserved. You start to notice the subtle distance between you, like he’s here, but not entirely.
“Maybe we could grab a drink later?” you suggest, your tone casual, but your nerves bubbling beneath the surface.
Oscar glances at his watch, then back at you. “Yeah, maybe. Let’s see how the rest of the day goes.”
It’s not a no, but it’s not exactly the enthusiastic yes you were hoping for either. Still, you brush it off, telling yourself that he’s probably just tired from the race.
You stand there for a moment, watching Oscar disappear into the crowd. There’s a strange feeling lingering in your chest—something about the interaction seemed… off. But before you can get too deep in your thoughts, a familiar voice breaks through.
“Already scaring him off?” Lando teases, sidling up to you with his usual playful grin.
You turn to him, laughing despite yourself. “Please, Lando. I’m not that terrifying.”
He leans against the nearby barrier, looking at you with a twinkle in his eye. “Nah, just a little intimidating with your… I don’t know, your knowledge of roses or whatever.”
You roll your eyes, giving him a light shove. “Not my fault you have no appreciation for fine horticulture.”
“Fine horticulture,” he repeats with mock seriousness, his lips twitching into a smirk. “But seriously, how’s it going? Did Oscar hit you with that ‘strong and silent’ routine, or is he actually saying words now?”
You pause, trying to figure out how to answer. “He’s… quiet, yeah. But I think there’s more to him than he lets on.”
Lando hums, crossing his arms. “Oh, there’s definitely more. Just give him time. Maybe flash him a few more of those smiles—you know, the ones that make people all… swoony.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “I’ll be sure to use my superpowers wisely, then.”
Before Lando can retort, Oscar’s figure appears again, cutting through the crowd and making his way back toward you both. You feel a flutter of surprise. He was distant before, but now there’s a new intensity in his gaze.
“Hey,” Oscar says, glancing briefly at Lando before turning to you. “I was thinking, maybe we could grab those drinks after all?”
You blink, taken aback. “Yeah? I thought you weren’t sure about it earlier.”
Oscar shrugs slightly, the corners of his mouth lifting into the faintest of smiles. “Changed my mind. If you’re still up for it.”
Lando snickers quietly next to you, clearly amused by the shift in Oscar’s tone. “Well, that sounds like a yes to me.”
You can’t help but smile, a warm excitement bubbling up inside you. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
The bar Oscar takes you to is tucked away in the city, with low lighting and soft music humming in the background. It’s more intimate than the first restaurant—smaller, cozier. It makes you feel like this is something real, like there’s something between you both that’s beginning to take shape.
You sit across from each other at a small table, nursing drinks, and for a while, the conversation flows. Oscar’s a bit more relaxed than usual, and it makes you feel like maybe you’re finally cracking the surface, finally getting to see the person behind the cool, quiet exterior.
“So,” you say, taking a sip of your drink. “What made you change your mind? You seemed… hesitant before.”
Oscar looks at you for a moment, like he’s trying to come up with the right words. “I guess I just thought it might be fun after all. Figured it couldn’t hurt to get to know each other better.”
You smile, feeling a flutter of hope. “Yeah. I’m glad you did.”
For a few more minutes, the conversation rolls on, and you find yourself leaning into it—into him. He’s attentive, even charming in his own way, and you can’t help but feel your heart begin to race a little faster. But then, just as things seem to settle into a comfortable rhythm, his phone lights up on the table.
You catch a glimpse of the screen out of the corner of your eye—a name you don’t recognize, followed by a few messages that he quickly swipes away without reading. It’s subtle, almost like he’s trying not to let you see it, but the moment leaves a faint unease in the back of your mind.
You push the feeling aside, convincing yourself it’s nothing. Probably just a friend or someone from the team. But when his phone lights up again, this time with a more persistent vibration, it’s harder to ignore.
“Everything okay?” you ask, trying to keep your voice casual.
“Yeah,” Oscar says, his tone clipped as he checks his phone again before silencing it. “Just some messages. Nothing important.”
You nod, but the way he’s so quick to brush it off leaves you feeling unsettled. It’s like there’s a part of him still walled off, something he’s not telling you. But you don’t press, don’t want to ruin the moment.
As the evening goes on, you notice him glancing at his phone a few more times. The distraction is subtle, but it’s there, casting a small shadow over what otherwise feels like a perfect night.
You try to brush it off, reminding yourself that he’s a busy guy—he probably has a million things going on at once. But as the drinks dwindle and the conversation slows, you can’t help but feel like there’s something—or someone—else that’s occupying his thoughts.
The days after your drink date are… strange. You had hoped that spending more time with Oscar would bring you closer together, but instead, things feel more distant than ever. He’s not cold, not exactly, but there’s a guardedness to him that wasn’t there before.
He texts you, asks how you’re doing, but it’s never as warm as you want it to be. You tell yourself that maybe he’s just busy, that it’s just part of being a driver in such a high-stakes sport. But deep down, there’s a little voice in your head whispering that something isn’t right.
You push it aside, trying to focus on the excitement of seeing him again. When he suggests going to the beach, you jump at the chance, eager to spend more time with him.
The breeze is warm, a gentle contrast to the coolness of the sand beneath your feet as you walk side by side with Oscar. The beach is quieter than usual, only a few scattered people, and the rhythmic crash of the waves fills the gaps between your conversation. There’s a lightness to the moment—a sense of possibility. You sneak a glance at Oscar, feeling a small spark of excitement flutter in your chest.
You tell yourself not to read too much into it. But there’s a softness in his smile when he looks at you, a hint of something more, and you can’t help but wonder if this is what falling for someone is supposed to feel like.
“You’ve been quiet,” Oscar says, his voice cutting through the hum of the waves. He nudges you lightly with his arm, a playful gesture that makes you smile despite the nervousness you’ve felt creeping in since the start of the date.
“Just… thinking,” you reply, your eyes drifting out to the horizon where the sun is starting to dip low. “This is nice, though. I like spending time with you.”
You mean it. Despite the moments of awkwardness and the hesitations that have clouded your other dates, something about being here—walking with him along the shoreline—feels right. You’ve never had a relationship that felt this natural before. There’s always been some underlying expectation, some hidden motive from the people in your life who wanted you for your family’s name and status.
But with Oscar, you want to believe it’s different. You want to believe he likes you for you.
Oscar clears his throat, breaking the moment. “Yeah, it’s been good,” he says, his tone almost too casual. There’s a flicker of discomfort behind his words, like he’s trying to keep things light.
Before you can dwell on it, a voice cuts through the air, drawing both of your attentions.
“Oscar! Is that really you?”
You turn, and your heart sinks as you see a tall, stunning woman walking toward the two of you. She’s dressed effortlessly, her dark hair pulled into a sleek ponytail, and she carries herself with a confidence that immediately makes you feel small.
Oscar’s reaction is immediate—his posture stiffens, his eyes darting away from yours as he rubs the back of his neck. “Hey, uh… didn’t expect to see you here.
Her eyes flick between you and Oscar, a knowing smile playing on her lips as she takes in the sight of you together. “It’s been a while,” she says, her tone smooth, easy. “Didn’t think you’d be back in town.”
You stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do or say, and the moment stretches painfully long. The familiarity between them is palpable, and a sinking feeling starts to form in your stomach.
“I’m just here for a bit,” Oscar replies, his voice suddenly lacking the warmth it had moments ago. He seems uncomfortable—like he’s trying to get through this interaction as quickly as possible.
The woman shifts her gaze to you, her smile widening just enough to make you feel scrutinized. “And who’s this?” she asks, as if you’re a new accessory she’s appraising.
You offer a small, polite smile, though your chest feels tight. “I’m—”
“Just a friend,” Oscar cuts in quickly, his voice sharp and clipped.
The words hang in the air, and your breath catches. You look at him, confused, hurt—but he won’t meet your gaze. The woman gives a small, almost amused laugh before waving it off.
“Well, I won’t keep you,” she says with a teasing tone, her eyes lingering on Oscar for just a second too long. “Catch you later, Piastri.”
With that, she walks away, her footsteps light on the sand, leaving you standing there in stunned silence. The sound of the waves seems distant now, like you’re underwater, and the weight of what Oscar just said presses heavily on your chest.
Just a friend.
You force yourself to swallow the lump forming in your throat, pretending the words didn’t sting as much as they did. “Who was that?” you ask quietly, trying to keep your voice steady.
Oscar sighs, his hand dropping to his side. “No one important,” he says, though the tension in his voice betrays him. He turns to look at you, but there’s something distant in his eyes—something guarded that wasn’t there before.
You nod slowly, feeling a pang of disappointment settle deep in your chest. The connection you thought you were building suddenly feels fragile, like it could shatter at any moment.
For the rest of the walk along the beach, neither of you says much. The easy conversation, the subtle glances—all of it feels like it’s gone. Replaced by a silence that only grows heavier with each step.
You’re quiet when you get home, your heart heavy with the weight of everything that happened at the beach. You try to shake it off, but the look in Oscar’s eyes, the tension between him and Ellie—it’s all you can think about.
Your grandfather is in the sitting room when you walk in, his expression softening when he sees you.
“How was the date?” he asks, his voice gentle.
You open your mouth to respond, but the words get caught in your throat. You want to tell him it was fine, that everything’s okay—but you can’t lie. Not this time.
“Please,” you whisper, your voice trembling, “don’t force people to like me.”
Your grandfather’s face falls, his brow furrowing in concern. He reaches out to you, but you pull away, the tears already starting to form.
“I just… I don’t want to be an obligation,” you say, your voice breaking. “I want someone to like me because they want to—not because they feel like they have to.”
That night, after you’ve retreated to your room, your grandfather makes a call. He doesn’t tell you about it, doesn’t let on that he’s taken matters into his own hands. When Oscar picks up, he’s met with your grandfather’s firm voice.
“I’m sending the two of you to the ranch in Texas,” your grandfather says. “You’ll leave tomorrow.”
Oscar tries to protest, but your grandfather won’t hear it. “You’ll go,” he says, his tone leaving no room for argument. “You owe her that much.”
You sat in the plush leather seat of your grandfather’s private jet, the tension between you and Oscar thick and palpable. Neither of you had spoken much since the beach incident, and you weren’t sure how you felt about being sent off to Texas together. The thought of spending more time with him, especially after everything that had happened, made your stomach churn.
Oscar sat across from you, his eyes flickering up occasionally, as if he was gathering the courage to say something, but each time, the words seemed to die in his throat. You focused on the window instead, watching the runway lights blur as the plane took off.
“I know you’re upset,” Oscar finally said, breaking the silence, his voice quiet yet steady. “I want to explain, but I don’t think words are enough right now.”
You glanced at him, biting the inside of your cheek. Part of you wanted to hear him out, to understand why he had been so distant, but another part of you didn’t care anymore. The truth was, you felt used—like you were just another part of the game, just another person he didn’t really care about.
“I don’t want to hear it right now,” you said, shaking your head. “We’ll go on this trip, but when we get back to London, we tell my grandfather that it didn’t work out. And Oscar…” You hesitated, the weight of your next words crushing you. “Please don’t let anyone know that I was the other woman.”
Oscar’s face twisted, regret filling his expression. “I swear, I won’t say a word.”
You nodded, turning away from him. The rest of the flight passed in heavy silence.
When you arrived in Texas, the sprawling estate greeted you with its endless fields and the familiar scent of wildflowers. Despite the awkwardness between you and Oscar, the comfort of being home, away from the pressures of your world, settled over you. As soon as you were alone, you made your way to the garden.
The garden had always been your escape—a place where you could get lost in the rhythm of tending to the plants. As you knelt in the dirt, your fingers delicately brushing over the leaves of the roses, you found solace in the simplicity of the task. You weren’t sure how long you’d been there, but the sun was starting to dip low in the sky when you finally stood up, wiping your dirty hands on your jeans.
Unbeknownst to you, Oscar had been watching from a distance. He stayed near the old oak tree at the edge of the garden, watching as you moved gracefully through the rows of flowers, completely absorbed in your work. There was something peaceful about the way you lost yourself here—so different from the world of fast cars and expectations.
He leaned back against the tree, his mind racing. He wasn’t sure how he’d fix this—how he could make things right after everything he had done. Watching you, Oscar realized how much he had hurt you, and it wasn’t just the beach incident that weighed on him. It was everything—the emotional distance, the Ellie situation, the lies he had told himself.
But for now, he kept his distance, unsure of how to approach you or if you’d even want him to. You, lost in your world of flowers and dirt, were completely unaware of his gaze.
As the night crept in, you finally left the garden, retreating back inside the house. Oscar stayed behind, his thoughts heavy. For the first time in a long while, he wasn’t thinking about his career, his public image, or what other people wanted from him. He was thinking about you.
The morning sun was bright as you headed to the stables, hoping a horseback ride might clear your head. Despite still being upset with Oscar, you welcomed the chance to be alone in the fresh air.
As you prepared your horse, Oscar approached, looking out of place. He glanced around nervously and gave you a hesitant smile.
“Morning,” he said. “I thought I’d join you, if that’s okay.”
You barely glanced at him, focusing on securing your saddle. “Sure. If you think you’re up for it.”
Oscar tried to act composed, though his eyes darted nervously at the horses. He awkwardly mounted his steed with the help of a stable hand, gripping the reins as if they were a lifeline.
As you led the way onto the trail, your horse trotting confidently, Oscar’s horse lagged behind, its rider stiff and uncertain. You could hear him muttering to himself, trying to calm his nerves.
“So, what’s it like riding horses?” Oscar called out, his voice a bit too loud, trying to mask his fear.
“It’s not as bad as you think,” you replied curtly, keeping your distance both physically and emotionally. You weren’t in the mood for small talk, especially not with Oscar, given the recent tension.
The trail wound through picturesque fields, and as the minutes passed, Oscar’s discomfort was evident. His horse seemed to be enjoying itself a little too much, leading to a few unplanned jolts that made Oscar clutch the reins tightly.
At one point, his horse decided to trot faster, and Oscar’s face turned pale as he tried to control it. “I think it’s going to bolt!” he shouted, trying to sound calm but clearly panicking.
You slowed your horse, turning to watch with a mixture of amusement and sympathy. “Just breathe and let the horse do the work. It’s not going to run off.”
Oscar managed to regain some control, though he looked more like he was bracing for a bumpy ride than enjoying it. “Easy for you to say,” he replied, trying to laugh off his fear. “You make it look so effortless.”
You remained distant, nodding but not engaging further. “Just keep your hands steady and trust the horse.”
By the time you returned to the stables, Oscar dismounted with an audible sigh of relief. His face was flushed, but there was a small smile of accomplishment as he looked at you. “Thanks for letting me tag along. I guess it wasn’t as bad as I thought, but I think I’ll stick to less adventurous activities in the future.”
You gave a noncommittal nod, barely meeting his eyes. “You did alright. Maybe next time, we’ll try something less… unpredictable.”
Finally, the time came to return to London. The flight was quiet, each of you lost in your own thoughts. When you arrived back at your grandfather’s estate, you both faced him, sitting in his study.
“We talked,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “And we’ve decided that it’s best if we just remain friends.”
Your grandfather’s gaze shifted between you and Oscar, disappointment and concern etched on his face. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes,” you affirmed, nodding firmly. “It’s the best decision for both of us.”
Oscar added, “I appreciate everything your grandfather’s done for me, but I agree. We should just be friends.”
Your grandfather sighed, looking at Oscar with a mix of sympathy and understanding. “Very well. I’ll respect your decision.”
As you and Oscar left the study, you found yourself rushing toward your room, letting the tears fall freely down your cheeks.
You weren’t sure why you were crying, maybe it’s because you genuinely felt something with him or you thought you did.
Oscar Piastri was making you go crazy.
Beachy’s notes🐚: Mama is a lil rusty😞
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skxrbrand · 1 year
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anyone else's posts just....buffering?
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lieutenantselnia · 4 months
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You ever get that feeling like you're f/o-ing characters by proxy? Like, you don't necessarily want to f/o them yourself, but you still want them to be f/os to someone and see other people self ship with them? Well, because I think I do ...
So I started rewatching Star Wars Rebels a few weeks ago and oh boy I think my dormant Star Wars hyperfixation is no longer dormant but instead coming back full force - AND NOW I WANT TO SEE THESE DORKS GETTING KISSES GODDAMMIT
These are just the first few that came to my mind but there's more (it's just that it's half past 5am and my brain is soup), but I'd love to see some self-inserts (or OCs) being shipped with them! And even if you don't like Imperials you could also just make them defect with/for you😌
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In oder: Lieutenant Yogar Lyste, Commandant Cumberlayne Aresko, Minister Maketh Tua, Admiral Kassius Konstantine, Agent Alexsandr Kallus, Grand Admiral Thrawn
I wasn't quite sure about including Kallus (bottom left) and Thrawn (bottom right) in this list, because 1. they're not nearly as underrated as the others (although I haven't really seen them around in the self ship community), and 2. I also very much ship Kallus with Zeb (I'm rarely crazy about canon x canon pairings but those two are really cute), and well Thrawn is also on my own f/o list anyway xD (I usually don't mind sharing though)
Bonus: Admiral Yularen, however I prefer his look in The Clone Wars, but he makes an appearance in Rebels too!
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(I really want to rewatch TCW as well once I'm finished with Rebels it's always been such a joy to watch when I was younger😭 I hope I can get my sister to watch it together with me like we used to)
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intramoon · 12 days
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I am vending at a gaming/anime/fandom convention in Nov. and I have to create a bunch of sticker designs for the event!! I need to make sure I can order them in time T-T
I'm trying to do a play on "God's Favorite" for BG3; the gold color on Shar's will be gold foil hot stamped and the white on Selune's will all be silver foil hot stamped. I'm trying to think of others to do? I'm thinking of Vlaakith and maybe Mizora and Raphel?
I am doing a bunch of Sanrio characters in metal logos, I have Cinnamoroll, Keroppi, and Pochacco on my to-do list. They'll all have a glitter finish on top when they are printed!
Been busy with these so haven't done much sims. (ʃᵕ̩̩ ᵕ̩̩)
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waterfallofspace · 1 year
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When H/awks gets a voice message from D/abi, he doesn't have a clue what he's getting into. (Strongly implied kink!Hawks)
First H/otwings wav~ (and content at all~). It's nothing super big, just a little idea I've had for a bit, and I had time to throw something together~ Mayyybe the fact (most of) it's a voice message can forgive the quality issues? <3
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i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that
#mostly i've just seen like “how dare you ask questions you just want an excuse to murder you're sealioning ect”#or worse some vague and wildly improbable nonsense about like. fake robot animals covered in beyond meat or something equally convoluted#which is a thing i did see someone suggest as a serious answer#i mean i already know they think i'm a genetically inferior hateful vampire that should starve to death for the greater good#because my exact combination of health conditions make meat basically the only semi-safe way i can get close to enough nutrients#i know this because they have repeatedly told me that i'm either evil or should be sacrificed or both#and yelled at me for asking questions by bringing up the whole disabled thing and then they're like#“a lot of vegans i know are advocates for disability!” as if that ever means jack shit in the society that results from anything#no matter what you do a vast majority of people in any given society will *not* be advocates for the disabled. i'm sorry they just won't.#and what do you think public perception of people who physically can't survive like that is going to skew towards#in a society founded on the belief that non-vegan diets are evil?#at absolute best we're looking at being a heavily marginalized class generally seen as something like vampires and our existences taboo.#(as if these type's own insistence that they should be allowed to harass and shame people doesn't disprove their assertion that we won't be#thinking it could possibly go any better than that is a fucking fairy tale. human nature doesn't work that way.#you simply cannot eliminate the human desire to designate and abuse a class of have-nots. the absolute best you can do is mitigate damage.#take it from someone who's been multiple kinds of disabled and chronically ill all my life. people will not “just”. ever.#i get this even from people who are otherwise very aware of and VERY GOOD at avoiding this sort of thinking#“i'm a disability advocate!” no you are not. you are a poster. my experience has taught me that what people advocate for in their free time#means precisely jack shit for how they will actually act when faced with the situations they make otherwise rational posts about#and the fact of the matter is even if you somehow really are the perfect disability advocate a majority of people WILL NOT BE YOU.#a majority of people in society will be margrat from accounting who clutches her pearls when she sees the gays and thinks autism isnt real#and who has never had a nuanced thought in her life and actively does not want to#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will not be you and your friends who march with wheelchair users and volunteer at the shelte#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will be jenny who starved 8 cats to death on broccoli because she can't be bothered#and who thinks that “carnivores” are actual nazis and don't deserve healthcare because she saw someone say that online.#ALWAYS assume your society will be made up mostly of the worst kind of person it can because it WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE and you can't change it#most people seek the low-effort option. and evil is most often banal and low-effort.#i'm just so fucking tired of every single even vaguely lefty-adjacent political movement simultaneously acting like i don't fucking exist#and at the same time that i need to be sacrificed to achieve Utopia. god. at least conservative whackjobs are upfront and honest about#how they think that i'm a burden on society that needs to be Eugenics'd . rather than trying to morally gaslight me about it.
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