#like. LONG post.

[purplekoop]

Just now thinking that I never outright *said* where each of the Havens are other than 1 and 2 being North and South America, respectively.

The number order isn't that hard, just west to east on a standard map, with the northern continent taking priority. So 3 is Europe, 4 is Africa, 5 is Asia, and 6 is Australia. I should note that the numbering is somewhat arbitrary, I did the simplest order I could think of instead of trying to perfectly deduce which Haven would have logically been built first or reawakened first, depending on whether it was humans or bots that made the names. My current (but not definitive) explanation is that the bots did the arbitrary west-to-east numbering themselves since most of them reactivated at similar enough times.

As a little bit of a bonus fact, here's what Havens (or. I guess more broadly accurate, continents) each bot is from and since it's vaguely relevant, my current thoughts for what they'd sound like in terms of accent and stuff.

Wilderoad's exact origins are a mystery, but their model is generally not found much far from Haven 1, and they tend to travel the western half of the continent. They don't have a proper vocal module, as their model wasn't made with them by default, and unlike most others, they haven't had one installed post-awakening. They instead use a crudely fixed speaker only capable of producing whistling-like sounds to "speak", although it's not in any sort of language and is just a means of vaguely communicating with noise. They can also use Universal Android Gesturing Communication (or UAGC), a form of sign language that most humanoid bots have a built-in database for by default, which lets them express more specific thoughts.

Calber is thoroughly American. His model of infantry bots were the poster children for the US's final war efforts, seen as a symbol of their undying persistence and fighting spirit... an irony that no surviving unit can ever really live down. Calber has a general American accent with no discernable specificity beyond that, though with a distinctly dry practicality to his voice. He prefers to be slow and relaxed, but can quickly spring to quick and tactical precision on a moment's notice. He's rarely cheery and never prideful.

Poppett is... full transparency, just decided this a minute ago, Canadian. Still putting her in the broad domain of Haven 1, but so many of these guys are American so. Marginally more variety. Her exact model was very rare to see manmade, with no discernable country of origin, but the model has seen a resurgence in recent years worldwide for new bots. Upper North America has been the main frontier for post-awakening Haven 1 expansion due to its relative abundance of natural resources and lack of Outlander factions, so many bots looking to foster a successor will start their family there. This cultural melting pot and her particular fondness for global attention give Poppett a very nonspecific accent, where she'll slip in and out of accent quirks like "aboot". In terms of mannerisms, she's generally eager and short-sighted, but is neither naive nor especially selfish, aside from her aspirations of recognition. She does naturally tend to use most of the most up-to-date lingo, but tends to limit it when working with the rest of the team on missions. She's tired of having to explain what "Dialed In" means to Martinet.

Yanno hails all the way from Haven 5, located in what was once known as the center of China. Older bots tend to somehow have retained the dialect of the humans they used to live alongside, though it tends to fade with more international exposure. English is the global language, as most fundamental robotics code was originally written in it, though most bots are multilingual by default. Yanno follows the trend, still having a distinct accent, but not an especially strong one due to spending most of his life traveling across the world. His voice is raspy, with his damaged vocal module giving the effect of a human who's smoked for 20 years, then put through a faint radio filter. He's one to act extremely casual, almost to the point of irritating his more professional associates, but isn't aloof by any means. He's got little to no respect for himself, but is willing to do whatever he can for others.

Velenna was built and raised a ways south of Haven 3, in what we know as Italy. As another post-awakening born bot of a globally produced model, her accent is less "hereditary" than the older bots like Calber and Yanno. However, she has a fairly strong accent due to her formative years being in a very culturally prideful and relatively isolated community, persisting even after her worldwide travels. Her lifelong love of science has given her a stern, analytical manner of speaking, though not necessarily an outright hostile one. It only turned to outright coldness in recent years after parting with her lifetime friend, and gotten worse since. She's the most overtly unfriendly of the cast, but still certainly not "evil"... though she cuts it close when dealing with a certain someone. She's brutally to the point and not one to say more than what's needed, though she's not above taking pride in her work when it's due.

Martinet is, like it or not, exceptionally British. I mean otherwise the joke of his existence doesn't work, regardless of his name technically being French. His model was globally produced as a luxury servant, typically used as butlers or bartenders at fancy parties, but they were exceptionally popular with the social elite of Europe. Martinet's posh british accent and high-class behavior are part of his fundamental code, though he's grown his own sense of wit from his years as an intelligence agent. When not putting up a charming front for a mission, he tends to be snarky and self-assured, and a bit prone to buying his own hype. The others tend to humble him where they can, though Poppett tends to go back and forth between inflating his ego and bursting it.

Navea was built for the naval force set to defend Haven 4. She has a distinct African accent that's faded over many years around Haven 1. (Gonna skip out on the extra story details here since I still need to smooth out her exact timeline). In contrast to her long-time cohort Calber, she has a much more optimistic view on the conflicts they serve in. While she still detests violence for the sake of it, she's more willing to do what she has to for the sake of protecting others. Her optimistic nature shines in most of her being. She's proud, loud, and eager to get into the action. She loves getting to know her fellow recruits, and most have a hard time not being fond of her in turn. She insists to Calber this is just for the sake of maintaining moral and improving team coordination and trust, but it's not hard to see she's just genuinely friendly. While she seeks to inspire others to do their best, she tries to make sure they don't push too far past their limits, which is something she struggles to do for herself. She tends to be more casual in speech than Calber even when on duty, but still is prone to using a decent amount of military jargon. She's got a hearty laugh so booming it can manage to rattle in the metal of other nearby bots.

Formann is a piece of solid Texan engineering of a model from early in the initial boon of robotics, centuries old even compared to other manmade bots. It's a miracle that any of them lasted this long, and as such he awakened with an old-timer sort of spirit already. He speaks with a slow, gruff texan drawl, with a well-worn vocal module that adds even more to his "grandpa" perception. His mind is still sharp though, with a keen technical mind and a low tolerance for people trying to pull a fast one on him. He can be tough as nails if he needs to be, but can be gentle just as much. He's generally not one to take things too seriously, and gives most problems a calm approach. This tends to clash with his two crew members, as Xenir's insistence on perfection and Burnetts short temper are aggravated by Formann's more even-tempered solutions. Tangential on the note of speech, but as the only member of the cast with a physical moving mouth, he has the vestigial habit of attempting to lip sync it to his speech, even though he uses a speaker to talk like the others.

Harmony... is undecided. Her lore needs a lot more work due to being one of the newer cast members, but I can say she's likely either American, British, or some other kind of European. In terms of mannerisms though, she has a somewhat aloof and "airy" quality to her voice, like she never completely leaves the stage in her head. She's certainly not stupid by any means, but she's the least apt for combat and it tends to show. Her movements tend to vary between graceful and awkward, especially when navigating spaces not built for a bot of her size. She's not vain, but tends to be self-conscious about how other people see her. She doesn't perform for her own fame, but instead she seeks to be someone others can believe in, and tends to be harsh on herself if she thinks the fails to meet that expectation.

Xenir is a model of bot from a northeast branch of the same company that made Formann and Burnett, though is the newest model of the line. Xenir themselves is a fairly young bot, who embraced their innate function of engineering work and served under Formann's apprenticeship from a young age, seeing him as somewhat of a parental figure and giving him the utmost respect. They don't have a discernable accent more specific than "American", but have an unmistakable high energy to their speech. They tend to talk fast, especially when excited, though also when stressed. They also are something of a perfectionist, and have a habit of fiddling with something constantly even if it's already functional. This eager nature also tends to irk Burnett, though that can be said for most things. They've worked together long enough to effectively be siblings, and even she can't stay ticked at them for too long.

Sorsier... got a whole massive post explaining their lore, model origin, personality, just. Go read the GIKN post, its good I think. Only thing to add here is that their specific Keeper facility is somewhere near what we know as the northern border of Mexico, and they have a slight accent reflecting this.

Otto is a model of urban cleaner bot originally developed in Japan but later manufactured again elsewhere in the world, including in post-awakening major cities like the one Otto himself is from. He has a poignant city slicker accent as a result, though with his unique upbeat energy. His profound optimism and friendliness is easy to mistake for foolishness, and while he's not a genius by any means, he's craftier than he lets on. He can still give people the benefit of the doubt even when he knows he shouldn't, but things tend to work out for him even if he makes a bad call. He's also the type to make dumb catchphrases he uses once and then forgets about. Poppett thinks it's cool at least.

Ezela is from the extensive power network tunnels sprawling from Haven 1. Born into a uniquely isolated existence, she has a distinctly formal manner of speaking that comes off as... well, robotic. Enough to somewhat weird out the rest of the cast, which still has her feel somewhat alienated. She's certainly not emotionless, but struggles more to communicate it without unnerving or irritating the others. She tends to greatly appreciate the more calm and understanding members of the team as a result, while shying away from the harsher ones like Velenna, Martinet, and Burnett. She's especially fond of Harmony, to the point of finding her aspirational. Over her time on the surface, she's gradually become less timid and more certain of herself, though still buckles under pressure when there's a problem she can't outsmart.

Burnett is a spunky little bot from the region around what was once New York. While her model comes from the same company as the other two members of her crew, she's a post-awakening bot only 5-10 years older than Xenir. She has a heavy accent from the area and the fiery temper stereotypical of it, though this is in part due to being glossed over at a young age and quickly getting tired of it. She speaks her mind loud, fast, and often, and isn't afraid to hurt feelings. Unless it's Xenir. Maybe. Don't tell them she said that. Formann can take it though. While she'd rather be melted into ingots than admit it, she cares for the two of them like family, and anyone who messes with them is due for a quick visit from her wrench to the face. She's not the most technically minded or ambitious of the three, but makes up for it with her work ethic and practical-mindedness. If there's a job to do, she'll do it, and do it quickly. She's not a patient bot and is quick to assume nobody else is either. While she's known for being ornery, she's fairly quick with a joke to lighten the mood... or rub salt in the wound of somebody while they're down.

Arber is of an entirely bot-made model, designed and produced in his home of Haven 2, located within modern day Brazil. While proud of his home and what his existence as a brand new model of bot means for the progress of robotkind, he's struggled to figure out what he wants out of life even after two decades of it. As a silver lining in the world-shattering incident that almost left him for dead, he found a new meaning to his life after becoming truly one of a kind as the first fusion between organic and inorganic life. Now he wishes to take his new lease on life and spread the hope inherent to his existencr with the world... while also running away from/fighting off the giant plantoid mass that half of his body mass defected from. Arber's personality hasn't been functionally inhibited by his unique state of being, as what makes him "Arber" has been untouched by his organic half. While not directly altered, his outlook on life has shifted, with his new sense of purpose having him look on the bright side more often. He's laid back and optimistic, though still has a wariness about him due to being aware that being a plant and a bot means he has a lot of things wanting him dead. This fortunately excludes most of his fellow recruits, who either see him as a fellow bot worth respecting no matter what, or as someone who's useful to have around at bare minimum. There's one obvious outlier to this of course, but she manages to be professional... for now. Arber also has a unique relationship with his other half, who can't necessarily communicate or even think in the same ways he can, but their unique bond manages to get ideas across by some means that's yet to be understood.

Nekross is an enigma in origin, nature, and motives. No bot like them has been seen anywhere else in recorded history. They appear erratically, act indecipherably, and vanish seamlessly. Some people aren't even sure if they're actually a bot, and not some advanced drone or even a supernatural entity. The lucky few that have had motives align for long enough with this mysterious entity can confirm enough to decide they are a bot, but they certainly aren't like any others. They can speak, and do so rarely, but they do so as if speaking with 12 voices trading turns several times in one word, then warped further. No accent or dialect can be meaningfully identified. What they do say is technically intelligible, but frequently difficult to interpret, often speaking in what sounds like riddles. Their motions are equally bizarre and alien, often jarring, with limbs snapping directly between point to point precisely as needed. Almost any attempts to directly communicate have been met with silence, gibberish, or a bladed weapon being thrust to the neck.

Kashov is a shifty salesbot from somewhere in the range between Havens 3 and 5, otherwise known as western Russia. He has a strong and distinctive accent, which he claims is vital to his salesman charm. He's also known to play the "clueless foreigner" card to his advantage during his international travels, though this scam only works so often. He's far from truly clueless, though isn't necessarily the mastermind he thinks he is either. He has a knack for schemes to peddle his wares for a high price, though he's quick to back out of it if it means he can get out of it while making some sort of sale. Or getting out with his life, whichever is a better bargain for him. He's not a scam artist out of malice or (total) greed, but because he's just not sure how else he's supposed to sell anything. He does get a genuine sense of joy out of his wares being used for the greater good, though wouldn't complain if they were used for the greater bad. He almost always maintains a cheery charismatic salesman voice, though if he thinks it'll close a deal then he can instead try to make himself appear as pathetic as possible in an attempt to get pity.

For the two other characters I have solid ideas for, one of them is the only member of the cast to hail from around the elusive Haven 6, while the other is... unclear. You can deliberate over which is which.

AAAAAAAAAAAANd that's everybody. This uh. Got more in-depth than I intended, oops. Have fun reading this in the morning.

[flame-shadow]

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)

[monsterfactoryfanfic]

if I've learned anything from grad school it's to check your sources, and this has proven invaluable in the dozens of instances when I've had an MBA-type try to tell me something about finances or leadership. Case in point:

Firefox serves me clickbaity articles through Pocket, which is fine because I like Firefox. But sometimes an article makes me curious. I'm pretty anal about my finances, and I wondered if this article was, as I suspected, total horseshit, or could potentially benefit me and help me get my spending under control. So let's check the article in question.

It mostly seems like common sense. "...track expenses and income for at least a month before setting a budget...How much money do I have or earn? How much do I want to save?" Basic shit like that. But then I get to this section:

This sounds fucking made up to me. And thankfully, they've provided a source to their claim that "research has repeatedly shown" that writing things down changes behavior. First mistake. What research is this?

Forbes, naturally, my #1 source for absolute dogshit fart-sniffing financial schlock. Forbes is the type of website that guy from high school who constantly posts on linkedin trawls daily for little articles like this that make him feel better about refusing to pay for a decent package for his employees' healthcare (I'm from the United States, a barbaric, conflict-ridden country in the throes of civil unrest, so obsessed with violence that its warlords prioritize weapons over universal medical coverage. I digress). Forbes constantly posts shit like this, and I constantly spend my time at leadership seminars debunking poor consultants who get paid to read these claims credulously. Look at this highlighted text. Does it make sense to you that simply writing your financial goals down would result in a 10x increase in your income? Because if it does, let me make you an offer on this sick ass bridge.

Thankfully, Forbes also makes the mistake of citing their sources. Let's check to see where this hyperlink goes:

SidSavara. I've never heard of this site, but the About section tells me that Sid is "a technology leader who empowers teams to grow into their best selves. He is a life-long learner enjoys developing software, leading teams in delivering mission critical projects, playing guitar and watching football and basketball."

That doesn't mean anything. What are his LinkedIn credentials? With the caveat that anyone can lie on Linkedin, Mr. Savara appears to be a Software Engineer. Which is fine! I'm glad software engineers exist! But Sid's got nothing in his professional history which suggests he knows shit about finance. So I'm already pretty skeptical of his website, which is increasingly looking like a personal fart-huffing blog.

The article itself repeats the credulous claim made in the Forbes story earlier, but this time, provides no link for the 3% story. Mr. Savara is smarter than his colleages at Forbes, it's much wiser to just make shit up.

HOWEVER. I am not the first person to have followed this rabbit hole. Because at the very top of this article, there is a disclaimer.

Uh oh!

Sid's been called out before, and in the follow up to this article, he reveals the truth.

You can guess where this is going.

So to go back to the VERY beginning of this post, both Pocket/Good Housekeeping and Forbes failed to do even the most basic of research, taking the wild claim that writing down your budget may increase your income by 10x on good faith and the word of a(n admittedly honest about his shortcomings) software engineer.

Why did I spend 30 minutes to make a tumblr post about this? Mostly to show off how smart I am, but also to remind folks of just how flimsy any claim on the internet can be. Click those links, follow those sources, and when the sources stop linking, ask why.

[inbabylontheywept]

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

[spaceistheplaceart]

thinking about what mabel and ford have in common <3 sweaters, diaries, and bad breakups.

[crystaleevee4]

i am going to start a collection

if you have any other posts of this kind please send them to me

update: this one thanks to @iputmcytsintohydraulicpress (great url, by the way)

this one courtesy of @catamaurrr-star

So I didn’t want to separate it into two images, this was the best I could do- thanks to @blocky-tides! also art is by @/cheeryfairies

thanks @o0recipme0o

hey @igotthisaccountunderduress. less mcyt related but thanks anyways :D

heheh

found another one from my favorite game in stars and time go play it

WE'VE GOT A BIG ONE TO ADD TO THE LIST TODAY. EVERYONE SAY HI XKCD. it's my favorite guy ever... skizzleman mention!

...so anyways here's my self-promotion now that this has almost 15,000 notes and you guys sure as hell won't see it if i reblog

My AO3! Not much there right now besides OC stuff, but more to come!

Situations ask game! pleasepleaseplease send me hc/life series stuff here i need enrichment (some of these are shorter, but i can promise you i will deliver!)

@traffic-smp-headcannons! me and mod tides like seeing your ideas :)

(of note: i also take art requests, but only traditional)

[ryuuna]

season 2 S O O N

[seenthisepisode]

no offence but the reason tumblr is “dying” is, well, yes, of course the cursed like/reblog ratio and the change in user behaviour (because of people being used to how instagram and tiktok work) BUT also the lack of weekly shows. i say it with my whole chest, they don't produce captivating and engaging stupid weekly tv shows anymore because streaming killed that so you have spikes of activity here when Something happens in general fandom or up to three days after a new season of whatever drops and then it's a wasteland. this is obviously an old woman yelling at a cloud missing supernatural and the vampire diaries and pretty little liars and all these other shows type of post but honestly give me back weekly tv shows where i have something to watch for 40 minutes almost every day of the week after work so then i can read and reblog it on tumblr give it back for the sake of my sanity

[goldensunset]

did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back

[rachelfc-art]

By Your Side

[egophiliac]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

[kensatou]

studio trigger understood the assignment. i would let her wreck me.

[falimarcis]

We don’t talk enough about Marcille wearing elven clothes pre-canon. Falin would have died right then and there if she ever saw Marcille dressed like this

[incredubious]

MODERN AU ACESAN !!!! first impressions with a guy who barely passes the No Shoes No Shirt No Service rule

[goatsandgangsters]

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 

url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order

url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 

url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc

url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims)