#like. I’m fuckin tired man
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the inherent futility in trying to explain why we shouldn’t eat at mcd*nalds to my mother, who, amongst a myriad of other horrible opinions ranging from hollowly parroting misinformation from fb to straight up racist bigotry, staunchly and adamantly believes Ronald Reagan was a good president
#coupled with the fact that she only hears at MOST half of what I say and then makes me repeat myself multiple times#bc she purposely wasn’t paying attention and misunderstood what I said#like. I’m fuckin tired man#matricide would be easier than trying to change her opinion on something#and for anyone wondering her answer to my explaination was ‘ugh we should just drop a bomb on the whole middle east’#so. that’s what I’m working with here. 😋🔫#a cattail tale#and when I say HOLLOWLY parroting I mean like. obviously buying into the whole ‘isr*el’s right to defend itself’ shtick#which by itself is laughable bc like. she is a MASSSSSSIVE antisemite on any other day. but sure#but also like. back when will smith smacked chris rock on live tv she was jumping on the ‘he shouldn’t resort to violence😇’ bandwagon too#coming from someone who Hit Her Own Children. like. hello. can anyone hear me. can anyone fucking hear me HELLOO#insane. absolutely no self-reflection. absolutely no introspection or critical thinking. smoothest brain on earth#anyway. back to peeling the wallpaper
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“Curly deserved better” “curly deserved so much more” “curly didn’t deserve what happened to him”
No no no no that’s the POINT. Curly is just as bad as Jimmy. He let so many of the giant red flags that tumbled out of Jimmy’s mouth slide. He was told multiple times about the abuse Jimmy was inflicting on Anya. He ignored Anya even when she pushed so far as to hide the gun on the ship bc she genuinely feared what Jimmy would do to her. Curly heard it all- saw it all- and he chose to do nothing. He had every opportunity to intervene before the crash but he didn’t. He chose not to. He blathered on and on about responsibility, about his willingness to do anything for his crew, but when they needed him most he did nothing. He just stood there and watched and let it happen.
And now he can’t do anything. He has lost the ability to make that choice. He physically can’t intervene now. His chance to change things and take responsibility has passed him by. Now, he has to just sit there and watch how the mask formed from all those red flags he so willfully ignored peels away and reveals the monster that was always there beside him. Now, he has to just sit there and watch as one by one, Jimmy manipulates and drives each and every one of the people that he swore up and down he would protect to the very edge, and kills them. Now, he just has to sit there and watch as Jimmy justifies each of his actions by blaming everyone else for the situation he put them in- the situation that Curly allowed him to put them in. He has to sit there and watch as Jimmy does everything in his power to create a palatable, sanitized narrative of what happened all so he can cover up what he was doing.
And Curly chose to stand there passively and allowed all of it until he physically didn’t have a choice anymore.
And in the end, Curly is the only one left to tell the story. The story of how it was all his responsibility, how he was supposed to do anything for his crew. And now, it’s all his fault because he couldn’t do just one thing. He has to live with that fact for the rest of his life. He has to live with the fact that his willful ignorance, his choice not to act, cost four people their lives. He will live with those physical and mental scars forever. But even worse, he has to live knowing that that’s the truth. And that in some cruel, twisted way, Jimmy was right.
The truth doesn’t really get rid of that awful taste in your mouth though, does it?
#hello I have very normal thoughts#idk man I am just very tired of people defending curly as if he is not just as bad as Jimmy#the only person worse than the predator is the one who knows they they’re actively victimizing people#and CHOOSES to turn a blind eye to it#knowingly enabling the abuse to avoid simply dealing with a conflict??#especially when you’re the CAPTAIN???#nah. straight to jail#and yes I know people say pony express would have penalized the whole crew for one person’s actions#we know that bc it happens within the first five minutes of the game#but three things:#first off if curly’d reputation is half as good as is mentioned then I feel like he could have swayed the blowback to just be on Jimmy#second of all even if upper management is an issue there were still tons of measures he could have taken to stop Jimmy#lock him up. or keep him monitored at all time between curly and Swansea. stick him in the cryopod. etc#and third. THE COMPANY WENT UNDER ANYWAY. THERE WAS NOTHING HOLDING HIM BACK EXCEPT HIS OWN FUCKIN NEPOTISM#There is no way you can spin this to make curly look good I’m sorry#he is one of Jimmy’s victims. yes. absolutely. but before he was his victim he was still Jimmy’s accomplice#a very willing accomplice at that#and no amount of sanitizing the story will change that fact#and he has to live with that now#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#panda posting
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i think jack and mcu peter parker could probably bond over having their entire character be reduced to the precious smol bean lovechild for a popular ship
#I know mcu peter is also a kid but he’s a whole high school senior#haven’t touched marvel in a long time but I’m pretty sure he’s looking for colleges in his own movie too#like these two are objectively young adults#AND CANONICALLY INTELLIGENT ONES#peter is literally bordering on a genius in every iteration#jack isn’t a genius obviously but he is canonically very emotionally intelligent and quick to learn various things#the guy taught himself how to pick locks with fuckin YouTube#wouldn’t call mcu peter specifically autistic coded but overall spidey . yea#so the double infantilization whammy …#man#I am soo tired of y’all#cal.txt#spn#supernatural#jack kline#mcu#peter Parker#Spider-Man#mcu spider man#mcu peter parker#spn fandom#marvel fandom#destiel#stony#it was stony right . peter was the stony kid#it was Tony and some guy I know that for sure#steve rogers#tony stark#steve x tony#baby peter parker ?
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it’s been depressing enough seeing people very weirdly pit käärijä and baby lasagna against each other for weeks on social media for no good reason but now my dude really had to go and put his whole foot in his mouth for no good reason huh
#käärijä#baby lasagna#i’m so tired#I honestly don’t think he meant it in bad faith but like…c’mon man#weight jokes involving anyone but yourself are a disaster waiting to happen#please tell me he’s not aware of jere’s health issues#bc if he is and still thought that was a good idea…#fuckin’ oof
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Silly lil grubman has been headcannonified
#hollow knight#hk pale king#headcanons in the tags#too bright to fuckin look at#the void taints this man from how much he’s playing with it in his lil workshop#and the abyss business#this man fails to look like a normal bug#it’s like angels trying to look like humans but not#he does have wings but for some reason got ripped off and now those wings are in ancient basin#still a twink#he also has a mouth but i’m a coward#and he’s perpetually tired
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Little ster edit I made… Cause there needs to be more in the world :>
special thanks to like the 5-10 people on this website who upload ster clips. This is dedicated to y’all <3
Audio: noir.audioss on tiktok
Song: Like Me - Chase Icon
#ster#ster_#star_#ster underscore#st3r#whatever other tags this man has#snazum edits#look im new to the ster community or whatever#i debated putting this on my side blog but it can go on main#i spent time n effort on this#I never make edits/fancams so shoutout to y’all who do that too#this shit is insane but i get it its a beautiful fuckin art form#my eyes burn and im so tired so goodnight i hope u ster fans see this and love it#i promise im in the freak territory like u guys i just hide it for the most part#who am i kidding it should be obvious.#im a hockey fan that resides on tumblr n twt this aint surprising#i made the fckin edm oilers in the sims with friends for fun#its a convoluted timeline now for them dont worry bout it#okah i really need to sleep goodnight we’ll see if the pc uploads first or phone#jokes on the pc i’m not giving it time i want to sleep so GOODNIGHT! For real
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feeling lonely tonight y’all
#i had an abundance of company last night#at least before bed#and then I was too tired to give a shit#but tonight I don’t even have my gf#idk I’m just feeling sad ig :(#I really want my Dom to pay more attention to me#and I figured out why#which is a whole tangled mess of daddy issues#y’know for not being involved in it at all that man sure fuckin wrecked my life#idk#I just feel like if i was better or more maybe I would be Special to my Dom and get more of his attention#which like not true#but my obsessive thoughts are making one hell of a case#I just wanna feel special and worth something and I wanna be spoiled with affection#and I want someone that’ll take care of me#and be the responsible and in control one for once#now I’m just rambling oops#personal
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Yall it is exhausting to need constant validation from certain people in your life, it’s exhausting to deal with issues you know are issues and also know will never get solved, it’s exhausting to realize some battles are not worth fighting and it’s exhausting to try to open up to someone new when you don’t think you’re worth more than your convenience (because opening up to someone is inherently a little inconvenient)
#I love my family#I love my boyfriend#but trying to deal with my family#and then trying to be honest with my boyfriend about why I’m upset#is like man#I’m so fuckin tired bro#but we do laundry in the meantime I guess
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Think I’m about to become a hermit and only spend time with my cats
#I’m so tired of my family man lol#went from having such a good day to hating myself#bc they all want to judge me on the dumbest shit#and now I just get to feel self conscious about everything#I just wanna be told I’m doing a good job#not that my apartment definitely smells even tho they’ve never been in it#and that I should’ve had a different major bc my sisters gonna be making like 1.5x what I make now straight out of college#even tho this is the most I’ve made and I’m fuckin proud and literally work for a university#or that I definitely can’t afford a $300 tattoo#bc my brother and his wife who make fuckin quadruple what I do think I should put the money in savings instead#I’m finally getting my shit together and I’m still just not enough
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Do you ever figure out your Type and you go Oh No cause it’s just 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
#very much so#haha i’m in danger#listen. big. full face coverings weather it’s mask do helmet I don’t mind. staff maybe. long cloak. mostly the mask though we gotta focus on#the mask/helmet kink ok? that the big one here. someone who looks like they can command a lot of power. and like has the confidence to just#dominate a fuckin room when they speak people listen. but they are kind and soft and pick up kittens#and maybe they hold your hand and they definitely wrap you up in their arms when sleeping#I have a size kink and a helmet kink. I don’t know what else to say ok#hold me big man. I am small and need of comfort#I’m tired. I’m trying to hard to get through this stupid af ow battle pass to get the new hero while also unlocking Ramattra cause I didn’t#start playing ow2 until like late last month. don’t wanna talk about this post is… well it started out cuase I was think of my current fav#characters and Ramattra is on the list so it’s k#ok. him. Vessel (he counts… they all count tbh). Tron. technically Vanitas but I don’t wanna uhhh. Be With Him.#hmmmm. let’s see who else. Daft Punk. they fall under the ‘just masks though’ category of this#I liked Mando at first but he’s just kinda everywhere now and it’s Too Much for me.#anyway. big strong man with a mask/helemt. to reiterate#but also like. if they have a dark aesthetic👀 that’s a major plus. Otay okay
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The trixie motel show is SO stupid because it’s the most scripted “unscripted” show in the UNIVERSE but I’m still having a fun time
#ramblings#like there’s a moment where Trixie and katya are ‘recording’ their podcast and they clearly are not#every moment is just sitcom shit it’s so stupid but I’m having fun#and listen I know I’m basic yes let me live#unrelated sorry I’ve been so MIA I’ve been busy/fuckin tired man
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coming out as a trans man has been one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done but also one of the most challenging. all of your relationship dynamics change so fast and trying to navigate it blindly is super fucking hard. I wish I could articulate it well
#it’s just like. my cis women friends not knowing whether they could still treat me like one of the girls so just becoming less affectionate#like it sucks it’s so alienating when most of ur friends are women but suddenly they act more uncomfortable bc I’m a man even when I haven’#rlly changed. Like I do get it. it’s just hard to adjust to idk#and don’t get me started on how fuckin weird cis men are to u. even if they’re supportive they still treat u different than other men#Like idk i don’t pass all the time so a lot of the time cis men just act misogynistic towards me cause they don’t see me as a man#or if they do treat me like a guy they’re either weird about me being gay and/or start saying misogynistic shit around me cause that’s how#they talk to their male friends.#this is why I’d rather just be friends with trans ppl. they’re the only ones who get it and aren’t weird ab it#I just don’t meet a lot of other trans people so it’s hard 😭 I’m tired of being around cis ppl constantly#.txt
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bath + asparagus time
#I did some cleaning and my day’s gotten slightly better#long story short I’ve had a fucking weekend lmfao#last Thursday I had a complete breakdown on my way home prompted by like the smallest comment u could think of#nevertheless it made me sob violently#like picture florence pugh in midsommar but more hysterical#on Friday I had a good day!! but it was fuckin busy man and I didn’t get around to#half of the stuff I needed to#Saturday was also busy and on the way home from work my car started SMOKING!!!! from under the hood#nothing was on fire but it freaked me the fuck out and I couldn’t get it to the mechanic until today so I had to find rides everywhere#and that was stressful#I only got like 3 or 4 hours of sleep Saturday night bc I had a (fun!!!) thing that went really late and then had to get up at 5 for work#on Sunday#so Sunday afternoon I got home and napped from 2-6pm and then just went to bed at 8 so I STILL didn’t get any shit done#and then this morning I opened again and I spent my sh#ift w people who are even newer at my job than I am so I was like training them/doing everything they couldn’t do yet and it was just#a weird day and my boss was acting weird and I didn’t like it at all#and then this afternoon I take my car to the mechanic FINALLY and he says the radiator’s busted and leaking coolant everywhere and also#one of the tires is fucked so we have to get them all replaced#and that’s gonna be several hundred dollars which is fine it’s all fine but I’m fucking tired#and when I got home there were still dishes to do😭😭😭#I need someone to baby me and clean my house#gawd#valkyrie talks
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cries
#mobile tbt.#tag vent#mental health vent#tbd.#might add this to my rules ? just as an awareness thing#but man being an rper and having BAD bad rsd sucks so fucking much#(rejection sensitive dysphoria)#most of the time I can be Normal Enough when it comes to talking to people#(when I actually have the energy to lol)#but FUCK man I’m so tired of my brain perceiving shit as rejection#idk when or why people thought bpd was cool#it’s so fuckin miserable man i just wanna talk to people#the best part is it’s literally just a me issue too like#wtf can anyone else do about this like nothing LMAO#I am shaking my brain in my mouth like a dog#let me live in fucking peace
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trying not to clench my jaw rn is so fucking annoying PLEASEEEEE
#i literally have to sit with my mouth open so i don’t do it bc i keep doing it in accident and then my fuckin gum where my tooth was taken#out HURTS and i’m tired of it!!!!!!!#also i took a whole ass two hour nap like two hours ago and i’m already so tired again i can’t wait to be healed dude holy shit#im so happy i got my tooth out but FUCK man yEEOOOWCH
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Oh and although I know How to be Alone was initially written as a post breakup song, I think it reads really really well as a song about grief and losing someone deeply important to you as well. It’s not specifically about romantic loss, but instead loss in general. Recently I’ve been listening to it and thinking abt Lark
#cal rambles#it’s just one of my all time favorite grief songs you know#also I never fail to get chills at the crescendo then cut off#AND LIKE. THIS PART IS SO LARK TO ME#‘and I’m tired of being angry and I’m tired of being strong. and I’m tired of being treated like it’s me who did you wrong#like a knife inside your back can’t forget that kind of hurt do you think about the past or are your memories a blur’#ITS SO. LARK#also been thinking abt it in context of like#Kasey’s fic where Sparrow dies and Lark takes in Normal and Hero#like FUCK. FUCK. yeah.#losing a twin is like losing ur own fuckin arm man#this song is also by John Allison Weiss btw#i am thinking abt their album say what you mean#GOD FUCK and at the end when they’re screaming the chorus and you can hear the tears they’re choking back#it almost sounds like sobbing#i think about this song so much.
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