#like…i get where you’re coming from and im not saying your inherently wrong

[sos717]

Yes, Im Back

Here it is you guys, this is going to be the clearest and most simple explanation I’ve done so far of manifestation and your identity as conciousness and what that means for experience & the world unfolding. Don’t worry if you’re new to this, this will help!

THIS IS A MASSIVE POST, TAKE YOUR TIME AND GRAB SOME WATER, YOUR ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE 😉🤭🤭

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So around 7 years ago I started stepping into the world of what people typically call manifestation. I went down the rabbit hole of Subliminals, Law of Attraction, Law of assumption, NonDuality and finally to where I am now, the unlabeled.

I want to preface by saying, I have been through an unimaginable amount of turmoil, and growth while on my journey to understanding reality and the way the world appears.

I’ve spent all of my time from back to when I first found out about this side of reality, to today while I’m writing this post, constantly looking at a multiplicity of teachings and teachers to figure it out, except until the very end. I really want you to know this because it’s very important to not brush this off as if it’s not possible for you, as if you have to adapt a technique or secret. This isn’t something that’s to be exhausting. With that being said, let’s move forward.

We all want things, we all have ideas of a life we hope to live, we want to fill it with all the experiences and specific details that match our taste. But this is actually, where the problem begins.

The way manifestation is taught is inherently wrong, I’ve fully stopped watching and consuming content that has anything to do with manifesting all together, because no matter what it is, Law of assumption, Law of attraction, all of the other ideologies that promise your desires, they all have a fundamental flaw, identity.

They usually all entail a similarity: methods, techniques, specific things you can do and ways you can act to make an outcome happen. All the while throwing in a random “because you’re the god of your reality”. And instead of focusing on the phrases that relate to the center of all of it, YOU, it’s simply just brushed past.

And not just the typical “your source”, “your operant power”, “you are the manifestation,

We get it but wtf does that actually mean, and why should you care??? Well, let’s get into this, because once you start from point A, everything else makes sense.

What all these teachings of the world get wrong is the idea that you can want things and desire, as source. Fundamentally this is a paradox, you can’t exist in desire and want if you are the source of reality. It’s not to say you aren’t, but it’s to say, you don’t ACTUALLY want and desire, but the illusion of being separate from the world is what makes you want and desire.

Let’s break the illusion.

Ask yourself this for me. “Am I aware”.

The answer will always be yes. Undeniably. And no matter how many times you repeat this, the answer is always yes, no matter a feeling, no matter a pleasant or unpleasant experience in the world, no matter any circumstance, you will always say yes.

Why is this so important to explore?

Because you are able to see from direct experience what source is.

When you asked yourself that question, did you notice something weird that happened? It’s almost like everything paused for a split second and your attention went somewhere to find the answer, and a response came from there. Look closer, ask yourself the question again, and this time try to find where the answer is coming from.

You’ll find that it comes out of nowhere, and if you try to trace it as far back as you can, to even before you answer yes, there this empty space of knowing that the answer conjures in.

This is consciousness. This is you.

Whether you name it consciousness/awarness or knowing, it doesn’t matter, it’s all interchangeable. But the important thing to note is, this thing doesn’t ever go anywhere. That is your true identity, the starting point of all ideas, the starting point to anything that can possibly be known. Every decision is from here, every expression comes from here, everything leads back to knowing. When there is emotion, it is known, when there is idea, it is known.

You being able to know that you are aware comes from this. This is the unseeable, the thing that can’t be perceived in any way, this is origin, its source, and its you. Take a shot at it, try to see what knowing looks like, its weight, its shape, its color, its dimensions, what its favorite color is, what it doesn’t like or does like. You’ll be left with nothing, as in no descriptions, but definitely knowing that there is a presence there that never goes away. Now try finding its name, its age, its skin color, its voice. You cant, and yet, from this very nothingness comes your undeniable answer that you exist and you are aware of your existence.

You don’t need and feelings to know, you dont need sight, sound, and sense of perception, you don’t even need to acknowledge the body in any way, but you know you “are”.

At some point when there were no worlds and universes, there was an unseeable, dimensionless plane from what everything came from, does this sound familiar? Before there were things, there was no-thing, a presence yes, but no objects. And from this, reality was expressed, but source can’t go away, the fundamental key to everything there is today, has to remain, or else everything else would not exist.

Concouisness is what you are. And it IS the origin.

Now how tf do you live you dream life???

By understanding that the world is also just an expression of source, conciousness/you.

I need you to understand something that I thing we can all agree on, if everything has one source, it would only make sense for everything to be the extension of that thing that gives it life. The world is no different, and trust me I know this without a reasonable doubt. I’ve spent closer to a decade trying to figure this out. Everything exists in/on the field of consciousness/you.

I need you to trust me, because no matter how far you have been in your journey and how tiring it might have been like it was for me, I promise you, this is worth it all.

Step away from the ideas of wanting and needing, put on your neutrality glasses and perceive the world as 2 simple things, conciousness and conscious expression. These are the only 2 things that drive experience itself.

Understanding that you are source, more things become clear. Where do all the stories of all the unfavorable problems in your life activate from? Where does the idea of good events activate from? Where is it that any form of knowing come from, you. Whether it’s about struggling with money, or about someone loving you, the story or ideas, conjure from you.

We already know that we are conciousness, but now let’s acknowledge the second mosy important part, reality begins at us, draw yourself into something that you don’t really like, something you’d like to change, now notice where it activates from.

From knowing. Knowing the idea or story is its creation

Now when we see it casually, as just another thougt about something the world is showing us we brush it off and move on with our day, until we have to face that thing, but, what if this was actually in reverse?

Because if everything is an expression of source, doesn’t that mean the world is too? It would have to be. Doesn’t that mean, anything registered by the senses has to abide by its source? And doesn’t that mean, that the world is not truly something of its own will?

The short answer is yes absolutely. And I can tell you, this is it. THIS WILL BE VERY F$&#*NG IMPORTANT.

Admitting to the idea that there is one source for everything is literally acknowledging that everything can only show up IN ACCORDANCE AND RESPECT TO WHATEVER ITS SOURCE IS.

THIS MEANS, the the world is a PROJECTION of source, IT DOES NOT STAND ALONE. It does not OPERATE ON ITS OWN.

The world is the projection of consciousness.

Following me??

Like a hologram, like a school projector QUITE LITERALLY a projection.

From us, an infinite array of stories and ideas come, and they only become activate or exist if we allow them to, if we give permission to this thing to exist.

That story that you’ve had about SP (Specific Person) or Money or Success, has always been activated by you. TELL ME WHERE ELSE IT STARTS. You can literally even prove this to yourself right now. WHERE DOES THE STORY BEGIN.

And because the world is just an expression/extension of its source (YOU) it is ONLY GOING TO BE WHAT SOURCE IS. Because it is source, just with senses and perception. It is coming face to face with what you are aware of.

The way the world shows and all of its details are projections of whatever you decide to activate. How do you activate something? BY KNOWING IT.

How do you know “red apple” ? By knowing it. That is the origin for this idea. And you can run this test for every single story you play on loop, find its source, it will always be you.

Now, for the important steps moving forward. Stop treating this like an on and off switch, truly stop caring about a feeling, stop letting yourself get so swayed out of understanding your identity as the source, do NOT give up this beautiful opprotunity just because it seems or feels different.

You’ve been taught for so long that the world has to be struggle, so that’s all you know, you’ve been told that things don’t always come easy, this is all you know, take the time, take the days and weeks you need to break out of this useless cycle of exhaustion and understand who you are as source

Do not double down on doubts, double down on the truth, regardless of how you feel, take your time to feel, take your time to be, but never allow yourself to slip back into the brainwashing of the world.

Moving forward you need to understand the world objectively, not with the ideas of wants and desire, but for what it is. Source can’t want, you turn it into desire by creating a sense of divide for yourself. You pretend the world is something to change, drop this. You pretend that the body is all you are, drop it, you pretend that there has to be more to this but knowing, DROPKICK this into the damn ground.

This all is very simple. Everything being the expression of source is only projecting what source (You) are. The world is a direct projection of conscious activity. Whatever is know is given permission to exist, it’s given life. It’s created. THIS. IS. IT.

Whether it be blue butterflies, getting a free coffee, or changing your eye color, it all is just knowing. And this isn’t something that turns off. This is reality, this is you. Start noticing the random things the world shows up as when you were just thinking about it the other day or a few hours ago. It is not a coincidence I assure you.

That friend you were thinking about calling you? Yeah.

That song you were thinking about suddenly popping up? Yeah

That “problem” you were thinking about suddenly reappearing? Yeah

It is all the same, yes it will take getting used to, but please understand me when I say this, it took me a painful amount of time and effort to finally see this as the truth, the amount of months I’ve spent isolating from content and other teachings allowed me to take ONLY personal experience, I tested it day in day out and this IS it.

Currently I expand my comfort on how seamless existing is, and I can assure you, if I can come to this conclusion, you 100% can because it has NOT been easy for me, and it almost didn’t want to accept it. But the moment I did, and kept seeing it to be true time and time again, I knew I had to go fully in.

You create the idea of wanting by doing this.

“I really want Sp to text me”

This is what you’ve given permission to exist, this is now activated, it now is conscious activity, and because the world is source projected with senses the world IS this.

You treat it like an absolute, but when it comes to something like this:

“Sp loves texting me”

You treat it as effort, and something to do and wait on. Now tell me, does that make sense? Does the idea of waiting, wanting, desiring, changing, even make sense with the knowledge you have up to this point? Nope.

You need to understand. The world is not a story, it’s projection, and it can only be projecting you. Stop turning to the world as if it can make statements, as if it’s feeding you ideas, when you’re the one activating them. You NEVER actually change the world, it’s you that activates a new idea. THATS IT. It exists because you know it. A feeling cannot stop you from knowing, the world cannot stop you from knowing, ONLY YOU can stop yourself from activating a story. A story can’t exist if it isn’t known.

So, don’t you think it’s about time you see past the illusion of wanting and see for yourself what you are?

Don’t you think it’s time, to wake up.

[lotties-ashwagandha]

THE JEALOUSY GAME

(adult) lottie matthews x fem!reader.

NSFW! 1.4k words. when the yellowjackets visit the wellness center and van starts flirting with you, lottie absolutely does not get jealous and absolutely does not make you prove your loyalty (I’m a liar that’s exactly what happens). requested by @ludasgf I love you!!!

While you wash your hands after doing the lunch dishes, Lottie stands back against the counter, looking over notes for a new wellness plan and watching you intensely every time you look away and she thinks you won’t notice.

She’s been off this afternoon, different, and so far you haven’t asked her about it. You don’t want to push her — she will talk when she’s ready, especially if it’s something serious.

Even so, you wish you knew what was bothering her — especially because she’s been acting so furious. She has been brisk with you, with Lisa, with everyone apart from her followers.

It’s a guessing game at first where you’re not sure if she’s mad at you or at the world or at herself or at the mailman’s neighbor’s boss, and it’s put you on edge. You wait, looking back at her every couple of moments over your shoulder, until finally she turns and meets your gaze.

She studies you. “What was Van saying to you earlier?”

You relax a little bit. You get it, now. It takes you a moment to answer, because while you did nothing wrong, ‘another woman was flirting with me’ still sounds inherently incriminating to a jealous spouse. “We were catching up. She was asking me about the wellness center, about the classes. Shauna, Misty, Tai, they’ve all been curious about what we’ve built here since they came.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it,” you nod. “Why? What else were you thinking?”

She shrugs. “Van was looking at you…”

“She was looking at me,” you repeat blankly, because you know it will make it worse in all of the ways you want. When Lottie gets jealous, there are two ways it goes: she completely shuts down for a few days and goes into an unassailable depression, or she spends the same amount of time showing you again and again that you’re hers. You know which one you prefer, so you’ll try to provoke it.

“Don’t do that,” she steps closer. “Don’t repeat it like that. She was looking at you like she wanted you.”

“She was just being friendly.”

“No,” she shakes her head, “she wasn’t. And you know it.”

You step closer. “It doesn’t matter how she was looking at me, I don’t want her. I want you.”

Lottie doesn’t soften. She just watches, and eventually she sighs.

You take her hands in yours, looking up at her, running the pads of your thumbs over her knuckles. “Talk to me.”

She hums in disapproval, pulling her hands away. “I don’t feel like it.”

You’re a bit taken aback. You don’t know what angle she’s trying to take, where this is going, because usually when you approach her with such softness she reciprocates it.

She takes a step forward, so close to you that you take a step back to keep your footing and your lower back presses against the kitchen counter. Lottie comes close again, one hand resting on your hip and the other coming up to trace from the hollow of your neck to the edge of your jaw. She speaks in a factual tone. “She was all over you today.”

You nod. You pull her a bit closer, run one of your hands through her hair and meet the intensity of her gaze with yours.

Lottie kisses you, and there’s nothing domestic in it. It’s possessive, claiming you and setting something burning deeply under your skin, a need for her that feels vital. Then she dips her head down to your neck, sucking and nipping enough that you can already imagine the marks she’ll leave. And the bruises, while on your skin, are not for you. They are for Van, for anyone and everyone else at the wellness center to see and know that you’re spoken for.

“She knows you’re mine,” Lottie slips her hands just slightly under your shirt, touch ghosting over your waist. She shifts to look into your eyes again. “Do you?”

“Of course,” you say immediately. You start to squirm under her touch, under how she looks at you so hungrily. “You know I do.”

Lottie steps back. She watches you intently. “Then show me.”

You close the distance and kiss her again, more desperately this time. She tugs you closer, pulling off your top and discarding it on the floor somewhere beside you. You reach for the zipper of her dress, fumbling with it while distracted by her, until she reaches back and pulls it down for you and her dress slides to the floor and she kicks it away.

She makes a disapproving sound when you move away, and then she realizes what you want when you back her up against the kitchen island and hoist her up onto it. She kisses you again and pulls you to stand between her knees, gasping when you break away to spread kisses from the corner of her jaw down to her chest, savoring the warmth of her skin and subtle hints of the floral perfume that you watched her put on this morning. One of her hands runs through your hair gently, a gesture that still carries comfort and reminds you she’s not really pissed at you, this is just a game — but it’s one that she will win.

When you look up at her, you still see the same possessiveness. With a hand in your hair she guides you further down and you take one of her nipples into your mouth, running a thumb over the other and moaning softly against her skin when she gasps at the contact.

“Good girl,” she praises. “You only need me, don’t you?”

You hum in confirmation, running your tongue flat against her.

“How badly?”

You lift your head to answer but instead she grabs your wrist and guides your hand between her legs.

She meets your eyes and repeats her earlier instructions. “Show me.”

With her hand still on your wrist you dip a finger into her wetness, sliding lazily over her and pausing at her clit just for the impatient sigh you know she’ll give you. You’ve done this enough to know what you can get from her and how, and every gasp and moan and sigh you evoke is more satisfying than the last.

Lottie’s grip on your wrist tightens when you start circling her clit. You try to keep a pace that’s slow and teasing, but it’s an effort you quickly abandon. As much as you’d like to try to prolong this your only concern now is her, how her thighs press against your sides and she meets your eyes with such possessiveness that it’s dizzying.

“More,” she demands, breathless, shifting a little as she tries to chase more pressure. “Fuck, I need more.”

You want to drive her to the same sense of pleasure-induced insanity that she usually drives you to. You want to use all of her tricks back on her, say something mildly bitchy like ‘say please!’ — but all of that fades when you catch that gleam in her eye and you are reminded that your place is to serve and not to dominate. Lottie still has control, and you have to do well for her.

You slide a finger into her, and then a second, a moan slipping past your own lips as you keep going. She huffs out a laugh, one that’s condescending, but then it morphs into a sort of groan as you hit deeper. “Good… keep going, you’re doing so good for me.”

You shift in your stance, feeling your own arousal so intensely it’s almost painful. You kiss her, you kiss every inch of her that you can until she grabs you by the neck and immediately you meet her eyes.

“You’re mine,” Lottie states shakily. Already, she’s close. “Say it for me.”

“Yours,” you confirm. “I’m yours.”

You feel her tense, grip on your wrist so tight your hand is nearly numb as you work her through release, whispering the same praises to her that she usually repeats for you, reminders that you’re hers and that you could never wish for anyone else. And when it’s washed over her completely, when she relaxes and you pull away your hand, you pull her into your arms to rest. She leans her head down on your shoulder for a second, taking a deep breath.

You run a hand softly over her back. “Are you okay?”

She nods against the crook of your neck. Then she lifts her head and kisses you slowly, domestically. There’s not the heat of lust in it but fragility instead. She smiles softly when you pull away. “You did so well,” Lottie praises. Then her expression turns serious. “I meant it, though. Fuck Van. You’re mine.”

“I know.”

Satisfied, she nods. She stretches her neck and back and then looks down at the surface beneath her. “These counters are going to be awful to clean.”

not my best work bc I have the shits from spoiled oat milk but whatever.

sexy yellowjackets taglist: @il0veb0ttomsthem0vie @pnsteblnme @ludasgf @aphrodyk3 @marleymarleymarleymarley @szczurkanalowy @chaithetics @ahauandthesun @webism

[odyssean-flower]

i think what i love so much about your fic is how you made reader a normal person. just a normal person. she is the most relatable y/n I’ve ever come across in all my years of reading fanfiction. she’s not beautiful, she’s not special, she doesn’t have your average cliché tragic backstory, she tends to come off as abrasive to her peers more often than not—it’s brilliant. she’s just your average woman who really means no harm, doesn’t have any big aspirations and knows her place in life. she knows she’s better off than most but she’s still riddled with insecurities. i think that’s what resonates with me most about your mc. im not beautiful, im not special, i also tend to come off wrong to people during first impressions—and then you connect that person with someone like neuvillette? kind, thoughtful, unbiased, untainted, tender, empathetic neuvillette? gosh you’re an actual genius. you and your writing, author, is exactly what fiction, as a whole, needs more of. more characters that are just people. normal people. normalcy. it’s a beautiful thing, really. something painfully underappreciated. it’s getting tiring seeing every female lead be this gorgeous woman who’s “the chosen one” or something and can do everything and everyone falls at her feet, particularly the men. it’s so unrealistic and tedious and, most of all, impossible to relate with for most people. your mc is the exact opposite of a that and it’s such a breath of fresh air. im sorry for rambling but 😭 i could go on for days why your mc is literal perfection, but i’ll leave it at this!! i love you and your work very much <3 never stop writing and i hope every blessing in the world comes your way 🫶

omg im so happy that you like my mc! sometimes i worry that she's a bit too developed to be a y/n haha

yeah i always intended to write a fic where neuvillette gets with an ordinary person, partly because i didn't really feel like making up an elaborate backstory or powers, and partly because i thought it'd be an interesting thing to write about. now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with overpowered mcs who are the center of the universe--far from it. fanfiction is inherently self-indulgent after all and i think everyone should write what they want. but maybe it's because i grew up on YA novels featuring chosen ones that I'm starting to prefer more ordinary protagonists as i get older haha. i said this before but a lot of my fic is inspired by jane eyre, one of my favorite books.

anyways there's still a lot of obstacles that come with writing an ordinary mc with no powers or mysterious backstory as you can see haha, like coming up with stuff to further the plot and romance, since there's no real reason she would get involved in dangerous shenanigans lol

[tarnished-butsogrand]

oops i thought i had haha well hi again!

lol that’s why i can’t listen to regular music, i get distracted singing along! video game soundtracks are good too they’re def designed to make you zone out and focus on what you’re doing. pfff i can’t read or write with music either, unless it’s lofi. also weirdly i love boba shop asmr of them making drinks.

ooo i like a lot of music! i listen to a lot of rock, alt rock, lot of 90s singer/songwriter, but i’m also a huge kpop stan so i listen to a lot of that. big david bowie fan, norah jones, but also bts, txt, stray kids, and a bunch of others. what about you?

ooo that’s so interesting, i’m sending holiday pal messages to another person too and she’s also indian! i love how much im learning about your holiday celebrations! i know a little bit about Kali but not much. what do u like best about her?? and what do u do to celebrate? that sounds so cool! i wish we had festivals for goddesses! for christmas we do a lot of decorating, baking, watching christmas films, making cozy foods, lots of chocolate, of course gifts we open on christmas morning. we’re always gifted new pajamas that we’re supposed to open on christmas eve, but me and my sister really wanted to wear them leading up to christmas so my mom let us open them early this year haha.

does it get cold where u live? 🌸❄️

Hello friend!

Ahh, I never realised that about video game music, it actually makes a lot of sense? I need to try it out. Maybe it can be my secret weapon because I desperately need one right now. 😭 ASMR is so relaxing to me, it really puts me at ease, so I totally understand where you're coming from.

I used to(still) have a Queen sideblog, and I religiously listened to Queen music for quite some time, and I got introduced to a lot of rock music back then. But I'm a pop girlie at heart, I think, even though I am not choosey about what I listen to. I remember watching BTS music videos back in 2017- there's a song called Save Me, right? There are unreal - the choreography and the music, the song still plays in my ears. Absolutely breathtaking.

So, there's this one fact about her, if you've seen any of her pictures, you'll see she has her tongue out, and there's Lord Shiva underneath her feet. Lord Shiva, who's supposed to be her husband. I always used to wonder why and then I learned that she went on a rampage killing demons ("rakshasa"). She was causing so much bloodshed, but the other gods didn't know how to stop her, so they asked Lord Shiva to intervene. He lay down on the battlefield, and she was so blinded with rage that she didn't notice and stepped on him. And took out her tongue as an expression of "Oops" (it's a gesture that is quite commonplace here, but it might not be elsewhere). So that's the story. She is actually a form of Goddess Parvati, and the reason I like her so much is she represents to me, the inherent strength of being a woman. We are not all dainty and pretty, there's a side to us that's not to be messed with. She's also dark skinned, and there's a lot of colorism that happens in India (read:most of the other goddesses are portrayed as fair). Hence, I have always looked up to her.

She's so revered (you could say for the wrong reasons in this example) that robbers used to pray to her to not get caught. There's something about violent men praying to a Goddess for mercy that is kind of intriguing and ironic. The days leading up to it, have Bhoot Chaturdashi ( which is kind of like the Bengali Halloween) where we light fourteen diyas and place them all around our houses to ward off evil spirits that we believe roam freely that night. We personally don't celebrate Kali Pujo at our house (it's a big ceremony and needs people and space) but there are a lot of other idols that are put up around the city and we visit them. Also it coincides with Diwali, so there's a lot of lights and fireworks as well even though our family doesn't burst firecrackers anymore.

Sorry it got so long 😭 Thank you for showing interest, I really appreciate it a lot. ❤️

Your Christmas Pyjamas tradition sounds so cute! What all do you bake? What's your fave thing to bake? Have you put up your tree yet? What Christmas movie is your favourite to watch? I have lots of questions!

It doesn't snow here, of course, but it can get quite chilly. One winter, it went down to 5 degrees Celsius. How cold does it get where you live? Does it snow?

[the-owl-tree]

objectively im aware of the issues with a shadow in riverclan but also as a “bad trauma survivor” (read: somebody whos paranoid, lashes out, and self-isolates, currently in recovery) the book speaks to me on a personal level in a vaccuum and i cant really make myself hate it. and honestly some of the criticisms i see get REALLY close to the “if a trauma survivor lashes out at the wrong person then theyre an inherently horrible person” thing thats so common in fandom. if you get what im saying? like i dont think thats what theyre saying (im autistic and have a hard time looking past initial impressions) but also the phrasing is. eh.

its like in the grand scheme of warriors and the writers history of misogyny the issues are there, but the way some people word their takes makes me. Uncomfortable. if that makes sense. (this isnt me defending the writers or looking for a fight just something ive noticed that im having a hard time wording)??

that being said feathertail should have thrown leopardstar into a volcano and i cannot comprehend her decision to forgive her

No no you’re good! I understand what you’re trying to say, I definitely understand where you’re coming from. While I can definitely understand where you’re coming from, I think it’s worth mentioning (and I’m just preaching to the choir here, you seem well aware of these issues so I’m not trying to argue or dismiss your feelings) that Feathertail’s feelings are supported by the narrative. You’re meant to understand why she’s angry and lashing out, her feelings are justified by the story. So when people are discussing this, (and of course, I think being aware of wording and the potential hurt one can cause is important), her lashing out at Sasha in itself isn’t the issue, it’s how the narrative treats it.

Sasha in herself is a “bad victim”, she is someone who loves her abuser and, whether people want to admit it or not, it can lead a lot of people to invalidate the abuse people face because of this. So why is Feathertail able to forgive Leopardstar and not Sasha when the former plays a far larger in what happened to Feathertail? How does that play into Feathertail’s overall larger arc of forgoing outsider attachments and devoting herself to her Clan? And what is the narrative trying to tell us about Sasha, a character who, as I’ve stated, does not play her victim role “”right””?

Not saying you’re arguing that Feathertail’s treatment of Sasha is right, you’ve pointed out you recognized the underlying bias the narrative has. I’m just trying to speak to why this plot line is a bit of a double edged sword in trying to discuss “bad victims”. I definitely understand what you’re saying though, it’s always worth keeping real people’s feelings in mind when discussing these things.

You’re absolutely right on the last point, she should’ve fed Leopard to that fox lol

[prettystylinson]

nope. i am 1000000% clear that you're not calling Louis callous. I know you dont. and I like your general idea about everything!! This isnt blaming you. I completely understand where you're coming from.

I am saying look at it objecitvely, from a person removed from either belief.

I am saying look clearly at the things he and his family very clearly managed to keep private. even around the same events. there's only one outlier where he didnt even try to maintain privacy. I am saying the belief that he didnt try to guard privacy about his kid inherently points to a callousness on his behalf. which is not a characteristic that applies to him in any other instance.

a few of your earlier asks definitely read like you were suggesting that i believed those things, so i’d recommend double-checking how you phrase things before hitting send because they didn’t seem that way to me or others at all.

that said, i’m still a bit confused about how your point connects to what i said—or what my mutual said. at no point did either of us claim that louis didn’t try to guard his son’s privacy. i completely get what you’re saying about looking at it from a more removed, objective lens, but the original posts weren’t arguing that louis was negligent in that regard. they were pointing out how fans—not louis or briana—are weirdly insistent on dissecting this child’s life. and that’s what we took issue with.

if you’re referring to a specific post, i’d really appreciate it if you could link or point it out—just so i can understand where you might be getting this from. i’d like to clear up any confusion if possible.

i’m only referring to my own ask to my friend and her original take.

genuinely confused btw like im not sure if im reading wrong or not.

and if ur not the same anon i apologize

[businesscasualart]

Don’t worry! It was a great time! Especially for a time where I’m stranded on my back.  I suppose I have your lovely F/Os to thank for it 🥰

I’m so glad you got to hang out at the beach! I’ve never been and never really intend to with how sand gets everywhere, but I know it’s a rad place to be when you don’t have a weird thing about sand! I hope it was a lot of fun!

I’m so glad you liked it! TuT I hit send and immediately panicked bc like, IM NOT TRYING TO SAY MY THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ARE SO GREAT THEY’RE INHERENTLY GIFTS, I just wanted to reminisce and thought it’d be nice. But I’m glad you liked either way! You’re so sweet! TvT

We love Monk in this household <3 As a neurodivergent household, we really enjoy it. ☺️ But I’ve always heard how funny it is, but somehow NO ONE mentions how dreamy he is????? Beautiful, smiling, dark eyes and so polite 🥰 and a total mood ofc. Ugh, I need to watch more Monk. It’s such a delight, he’s such a delight. I also love a high-strung detective. <3

I must admit, I never believed you whenever you said that; but if it wasn’t true, why am I sweating so hard and averting my gaze. I don’t even know who John Waters is, though I’m gathering through your Ronaldo-posting that he’s the kind of guy that’d vaporize my repressed behind on impact like I was a sickly Victorian man being blasted into the sun in a shipping container and I guess that’s the important part. And I don’t know if I talk more than I think or not, but you gotta be collaborating with the FBI agent in my phone or something to find out my blorbo brand bc this is getting ridiculous, you can’t keep being so on point. Despite getting dragged by The Gang for being into A Fish Guy (circa Moreau - RE8), I just…I GUESS THERES STILL JUST SOMETHING ABOUT A FISH GUY!!! AND A SMARMY OLD MAN!!! And a hotel job, does he work at a hotel? I have a strange love of hotels and working at one is my dream job, that’s what I’m getting at.

No, I will not be thinking about how that could be a setup for a self insert.

I’m so glad you like the sparkly idea! Haha! ☺️…oh yeah also, WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! what do you mena by- What Do You Mean By That? I mean nothing you said is wrong but WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT—

VALID, hormones will make you see the F/O equivalent of mantis shrimp colors. I totally get managing to procure a Brand or Brands of Guy you go for and! It’s just!! It feels so weird to find yourself outside of that. Makes you take your temperature and stuff. I think that’s happened to me every time I’ve gotten into an anime boy. If it helps you come to terms with it at all, I think he’s such a sex symbol for his immaculate build and overwhelming power, but he’s so endearing to us bc like! He’s so cuddly and domestic! He’s dorky! And cute! I’ll definitely be looking into that musical btw 😉 I sure hope it doesn’t do anything to me.

OH MAN that’s horrifying. 😂 there’s nothing worse than when a new Guy comes out and people look at/message you like “🤨⁉️😏😉”.  And all you can say is “…yeah.” Haha, I’ll have to set aside time to see Thelma the Unicorn then! The concept is growing on me I think. <3

Also re: Sportacus — So real. Sometimes you just need the variety! To keep things fresh and from blending together! And to reassure you that you aren’t secretly going to the dark side. XD It’s good for the soul, it’s enrichment. <3 I totally see that, just bc he isn’t evil or caricature-ish about it doesn’t mean he isn’t! He is so fun💕 AND PLEASE YOU’RE SO RIGHT, SO VALID, I’ve so been there. Intelligent blorbos were holding me together through high school math with duct tape, gum, and prayer. To this day, like while cooking, imagining I’m cooking for some kind of blorbo will get me through a task with one too many steps without brooding. XD Sometimes it’s okay to allow the F/O to influence you, even evil ones, as long as it’s for the better! 😂

Haha yeah, I guess I do already know too much, but! Knowing too much has never stopped me from liking a lil guy! ;) I wanna put that guy in an enclosure and shake it. He is SO pick-up-and-shakable. And tbh you should be proud of yourself. I am so bad at mysteries but if I were you and successful guessed A Thing, I’d be declaring it to everyone, I’d start putting detective on my currently nonexistent business cards.

Thank you sm, I DO love a guy who’s very silly <3 and I DO love an old timey radio commercial <3 and, as for nuts…heh…well I 

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Lorelei Businesscasualart found mysteriously dead in her home at 1:30pm on the 23rd of February! Authorities say-

OMG? I didn’t know you learned to draw digitally so recently! Your art always looks so great, I assumed you’ve been drawing for at least half a….half a…….decade……half of a decade………

Holding hands with my math emotional support blorbos rn

But YESS his voice is actually so so pretty. Like yeah it’s creepy but its also like, within “I would believe it if it was a male siren’s voice” range. I love it sm. Thank you, thank you, I will be watching that :3 I’m so hyped. I think Glass Brother was one of the ones I’ve seen? And you’re so right. I felt that one in my SOUL. It was so good.

Dearest Starleska,

It has come to my attention that I MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY?????? Which is a grievous crime and I would like to sincerely apologize. I’m certain I wrote out something in the notes of my tablet but I suppose I never sent it. 

I would send what I wrote now, but unfortunately I have realized my error after being forced to reflect on life choices and mistakes, such as these, after messing up my back 30 minutes ago. 

I am currently stranded horizontally on my bed, having forsook my tablet with the birthday wishes on it at the other side of the room. I’m sure I’ll be fine (and even if I’m not, I live with family and ofc, have my phone rn) and I’m pretty content but I reckon I’ll be stuck here for a little bit, and I don’t want to risk making it worse or forgetting to wish you a happy birthday again, so I’m just gonna try and write what I did before. It was mostly me just talking about how much I like your blorbos, anyway…because I’m creative like that.

Nonetheless, I hope you had a wonderful birthday and that 27 has been treating you well <3 You’re so sweet and always brighten my day, and of course, your taste is immaculate and is a delight to see. 💕 I hope one day I’ll contact you without being in the midst of a bizarre Situation.

I don’t have a proper transition prepared, so I’m just gonna launch into talking about these delightful lil guys you’ve put on my dash. Ooo where to start yapping…

Okay, well, Adrian Monk is a DREAMBOAT so jot that down. No one ever says it but it’s true, he is. He is dreamy. Perfect. He would treat you right. I’m so sure. When you started posting about him for the first time, it was right when my family started binge watching the series again and HE IS SO HANDSOME??? HE IS SO CHARMING???  Honestly, the best, I will not hear anything to the contrary.

On the other end of the spectrum, Ronaldo is the worst? Hello? Some greasy fiend? I am so unfamiliar with Viziepop’s work but this guy is so guy. He is so slimy. I’m holding him in my hands and holding him up to the light to see him sparkle like how you check the quality of a diamond. Probably getting…idk…eel slime down my forearm in the process. 

Human or fish, I am looking disrespectfully... Only bc he doesn’t deserve respect! That’s the only reason why. For sure. I’ll be keeping an eye on him *yearnful look across the room*

Uh…Superman! You’ve already heard my thoughts in opinions but great choice, the best choice. I think if Superman was just Clark Kent, I’d be unsalvageable from the beginning, but I had this weird thing against big, strong guys for so long. I have since then been ~Enlightened~ tho, and can now give all the Superman content a fair try. <3 I just need to figure out where I’m gonna find all this content now…

Vic Diamond is so fun. I love it when greasy men. Love it when smarmy manager guy. AND THIS ONE FLAUNTS IT SO STRONGLY. Ough….,,..whoagh..,,….,,..I was so disinterested in Thelma the Unicorn when it came out for no reason, but ngl… I may need to double back and check it out for the sake of Dick Cumbersome over here. Thank you for the enlightenment. 👀

Watching you go through the Robbie Rotten to Sportacus pipeline was so funny, I love that for you. That’s great. Sportacus would treat you right. Robbie Rotten would…probably treat you right… I will it to be so. I haven’t thought about LazyTown in so long. I’ve forgotten so much lore. I was so intrigued by WHAT is HAPPENING with Sportacus. How do you like that babygirl? Why do you live like that? How did we get here? 

You’re so real for all of that tho. I, too, have fallen victim to this style of pipeline. And Robbie Rotten to Sportacus and Robbie Rotten is a great pipeline. <3

I have never seen Lynch Webber in my life and frankly, I’m offended I haven’t. I haven’t even heard of the show. From the looks of it, I probably would’ve adored him. <3 Discovering the blueprints for your taste is always the best. 

And finally, “YOU understand the inherent erotism of Salad Fingers” will be a permanent addition to my vocabulary from here on out, I’m so sorry for the inconvenience. Let me tell you I’ve never seen so much heart and soul and. Other unnamed things that make art great. Put into so much fanart in so long. I love seeing fandoms I didn’t expect to thrive thriving. 

I thought I watched all of Salad Fingers but it’s occurring to me that I’ve only seen a couple of episodes????? Maybe I’ll finally watch them and understand the true and inherent erotism of Salad Fingers. Looking forward to it! Wish me luck 💪

I’m not great at conclusions either, but in the time it’s taken me to type all of this, my back started to feel better! I got up and immediately ate a baked potato, two pieces of cheesecake, a bowl of dubious quality rice pudding, and drank a cup of tea. I foresee no negative side effects to this. I also was dragged to the living room to be subjected to the pilot of Twin Peaks for this first time, this Dale Cooper fella IS full of whimsy and neurodivergence. 💖 Tumblr User Starleska has never led me astray. <3

I wish you a happy and pleasant 27th year! I hope y’all are staying warm, or at least warmed by thoughts of Jack Frost and other handsome F/Os! 💕 I, once again, am so sorry I missed your birthday but YOURE GREAT, I appreciate you, it’s always such a delight to talk to you! Here’s to 27! Okay bye-bye

helloooooo my dearest Lorelei!!!! how is life treating you?! 🥰💖 oh my gosh don't worry yourself at all!! we all have lives, and it's tricky enough remembering the birthdays of people you see physically 🙈💖 thank you so much for the birthday wishes, i had such an excellent day!! but i am so sorry to hear that you were stuck upon the time of writing this - i spent a big day at the beach just a few days ago and my legs are still feeling it 😂😂

i'm actually so flattered that you spent your stuck-time putting together a review of my silly fictional crushes, oh my goodness!! 🥰💖 darling, you are SUCH a sweetie and getting to read your thoughts always puts the hugest smile on my face. yap away, and i'll always listen!! :3c

ADRIAN MONK!!!! 🫠🫠🫠 t h a n k y o u for understanding my vision on our beloved Mr Monk, i adore him so, so much. that's so wonderful that your family is a fan of the show!! i actually just stuck it on after seeing it on Netflix when i was having a really, truly awful week…and i was in love within minutes. those huge, puppy-dog eyes and that disarming smile…i'm always a sucker for those high-strung autistic detectives 🙈💖💖 he is PERFECT and more people should love him!!! ohohoho i am loving that Rolando is piquing your interest 😉 i've always said that there's at least ONE character for everyone in the Hellaverse, and you going for the perverse anguish-eating demon voiced by John Waters feels so on-brand. gkjfds ohhh my God i LOVEEE the sparkling idea…!!! though don't get me thinking about his slime, gracious 😳😳 don't worry - i'm sure he won't be offering you any 'respect' either 😏 LMFAOOOO listen!!! i don't know what's happened either!!! perhaps tmi but i am fully convinced at 27 my hormones are doing some flippity shit and making me look at that beautiful golden retriever of an alien and want to settle down with him in a house with a picket fence 🙈 i'm embarrassed about Superman!!! that's the thing right - we build ourselves into a brand!! i've historically been a fan of guys with weird lanky builds or who are of the larger persuasion, so getting into actual sex symbol beefcakes was making me pace around the house in consternation!!! but he's. he's so cuddly Lorelei. he's powered by sunshine and that pours through 🥺 (and for Superman content - Holy Musical B@man! will always be my first recommendation 😂) gkhmfldsfg VIC DIAMOND 💦💦 god i hate him so fucking much. do you know how many people messaged me about him?!?! i don't know either, but the fact that it was more than 5 is mortifying!!! aww Thelma the Unicorn is SUCH a cute movie, but you're right - Vic is very much the highlight :3c squeals…!!! i don't know what's WRONG with me re: Sportacus, i think i must be having an Era of some kind?? 🫠🫠 i made the joke that my brain has become so oversaturated with simping for real bastards that it's trying to get me to settle down with a 'nice man'. but the blueprint is there!! i can enjoy a good man if he's also a masculine stereotype, like. the kind a drag king could be. Superman. Ken. Austin Powers. i don't know how Sportacus fits in there, but he does 😂 i just!!!! think he is so sweet and handsome!! he'd be so encouraging!! do you know i've actually started eating healthier because of him??? munching on raw bell peppers and i'm so mad about it 💀💀 oh, welcome to the wonderful world of Lynch and Detentionaire 😉 i cannot breathe a word about him to you (though i imagine you may be spoiled already) - just know that he is quite important to the overall plot of Detentionaire, which has an ongoing mystery!! i was lucky enough to be into the show when it was still airing and guessed something about Lynch that turned out to be true…badge of pride all these years later 😂 just know that he's. very silly. he talks like an old-timey radio commercial and he's addicted to nuts. you're welcome :3c hahahaha, Salad Fingers NEVER fails to hit!! 🙈💖 back during the pandemic i was learning to draw digitally for the first time, and along with Baldi, he was such a muse…something about his gentle, creepy voice makes my heart happy 🥰 oh my God YES???? PLEASE DO WATCH THEM ALL???? i recently binged them all again (David Firth, the creator, has uploaded a compilation for ease!) and it is thrilling to see David's art and animation get better and the lore get more insane. 'Glass Brother' is my favourite episode - it is completely harrowing 💀

[nobodies-png]

Did you play the kh dark road update? If you did what are your thoughts about it?

 I DIDN’T PLAY BUT I WAS WATCHING DAMO’S LIVESTREAM THE MOMENT THE UPDATE DROPPED </3 honestly the reason I’ve gone inactive is because I’ve done nothing but work on wayfinder charm designs for the scala squad and the upperclassmen, you don’t uNDERSTAND IM OBSESSED 

but but but, here’s some thoughts under the cut ! as usual, warning for spoilers ahead and lots and lots of text bc I’m a blabbermouth

ok so, I’ll start in order so it’s easier for me to keep track of

the disney worlds being more relevant AND helpful to the story

I’ve seen so many people say this and they’re so fuckin right, cause disney worlds used to be just fun places where SOMETIMES things related to the plot might happen. at best, a certain disney sidekick and their movie helped develop the main gang/plot but no one really thinks “hey KH2 atlantica really helped Sora grow as a person and was super important to the overaching plot huh”. like, sure, not EVERYTHING has to be plot heavy or super relevant, especially in a game aimed for kids but christ I literally erased all of KH2′s lion king from my brain bc the only thing worth remembering there is “look sora is a cute lion!”   

it just feels nice because in other games, all these bad guys WERE meant to be THE hottest shit in the world, the scariest mfs you would ever face, but they essentially had nothing other than a fun boss battle and boom bye. nomura kinda spent a few games kicking maleficent’s dead body trying to make her relevant again.

so seeing the Scala squad actually make use of the magic mirror’s abilities MORE THAN ONCE was actually fucking revolutionary for me like, yeah of COURSE you would go back to THE magic mirror that so far has been doing nothing but answer any question you’ve given him. of course it’s cool when MALEFICENT KILLS BALDR’S SISTER because she hasn’t been directly relevant in anything since. what. KH1 or KH2. I liked that Hades, as the GOD OF THE DEAD, actually has the power to BRING PEOPLE BACK IF HE WANTED, if only for a bit LIKE. WOW!!! THEY *ARE* IMPORTANT AND POWERFUL PEOPLE

characters being more than just good vs bad guys. the morality and mentality of light vs darkness being more nuanced. 

the main issue a lot of ppl had with Xehanort and Eraqus is that they were rlly painted as strictly bad vs good, but only Eraqus was allowed ??? some semblance of respect in the games ??? even if he fucked up A LOT. because he was, in the end “a good guy”. and Xehanort was just this villain bordering on cartoony with the funny wiggly fingers no one fucking understood but that you were meant to forgive in KH3 despite everything he did, which felt very undeserved

BUT HERE IN DARK ROAD you get to see more of everyone and their clashing ideologies and morals, which is even sadder in retrospect when you see that they’re extremely close and genuinely cared about each other and their world. Xehanort wants change, Eraqus wants to remain the same, Vor is conflicted because she’s right in the middle, the upperclassmen are willing to do horrible things for the greater good, baldr is. well. going thru it 24/7, etc.

Eraqus being so fucking stubborn and determined to eradicate darkness because to him, darkness is inherently evil, MEETING SOMEONE who thinks the same AND is willing to go a STEP FURTHER to help was SO good to me, like Vidar really showed up and did that

just like Xehanort, someone who knows change is part of life and believes darkness could be controlled if you’re strong enough, who has been an outsider everywhere he’s been, MEETING BALDR, WHO IS AN EXTREME VERSION OF HIM GONE WRONG TOO. its good, its very good, i like it

THEY ALSO TALK ABT THE THING I’VE BEEN WAITING SO MANY YEARS TO BE BROUGHT UP ??? ABOUT HOW DARKNESS AND LIGHT ARE EXTREMELY OBJECTIVE CONCEPTS AND UNIQUE TO EACH PERSON - the constant discussions between Eraqus and Xehanort about where darkness comes from exactly, if it’s inherent to a person’s heart or if it’s an outside force corrupting them and so on are genuinely very interesting to me. because there ARE people who are genuinely corrupted and shitty, but there’s also people who go through horrible shit and are consumed by their trauma and negative feelings. you’re not just “a bad person” just because you suddenly have darkness inside you. you’re not just a “good person” just because you side with light either.  everyone is fucked bc they all have to make do with the things they know and what they think is right while darkness is out to get their asses

its not that simple, but with a single push anyone can go joker mode basically, it’s just fucking stupid to think anyone can be pure absolute light. DDD even touches this when it comes to Sora being perfect too, but he’s just as liable to falling into darkness if pushed enough, HELL, ANTI SORA  IS A REMINDER OF THAT

sure, KH3 did drop some vague shit about Elsa being at the verge of falling to darkness BECAUSE she believed her powers were harmful and thus they became part of the darkness. sure, KH3 also had Aqua falling to darkness after all this time, but you don’t see why or how, she’s just THERE for shock effect and eh. ehhh.

alternatively, the lack of upperclassment content makes me sad........... I wanted to see them banter and see a bit more of their personalities individually

I love their designs, man......I wanted to see more of them...... just look at them... look at this fella...hes just layin down, sleepin, chillin

look at them... Vala took off her glasses to sleep, you barely even get to fuckin see these two bc Vidar’s dialogue box gets in the way but they rlly did that little detail... 

Also the ninja, Vali, not talking and being sneaky bc he’s a ninja and his only dialogue happening during the fight against Baldr.... I JUST - LOOK AT HIM HES SO COOL AUGHHHH 

like all fucking upperclassmen are so cool and strong like the part where Baldr summons a bunch of heartless before going to the tower and they’re all surrouned bUT THE UPPERCLASSMEN KILL EVERYTHING IN A FUCKING SECOND ????? 

LIKE WHY DID YALL DIE TO THE ALBINO TWINK LIKE?? BRO

Vidar and Hoder are also really interesting characters from the scenes they’ve had. I think about the moment at the tower during the final confrontation against Baldr, when Hoder shows up to talk to him and because they’re so close, they know exactly what’s happening and block each other’s attacks. And when they reach out and they have the same expression. AND WHEN ODIN ASKS XEHANORT TO RID BALDR OF DARKNESS, HODER DOES IT BC SHE KNOWS XEHANORT IS HESITATING BUT SHE DOESNT BC THATS HER BROTHER. SHE KNOWS ITS BETTER LIKE THIS

also also, all the little details, tie-ins and foreshadowing too

I like how they explain that death is not commonly called, well. “Death”. because these people don’t die normally, they replace the word “die” with “disappear” because that’s literally what happens to people who die. BUT that also makes me really curious about the graves? What’s exactly the point of tombstones and shit if there’s nobody buried there, like it’s probably just so you can see HOW many people died and feel the weight of Scala ad Caelum’s story but idk, I would’ve liked some unique way of commemorating the death that fits the way they die. 

DDD mentions that all the worlds operate on their unique timeframes and that they’re essentially looping over and over, but the restart happens at random. here in dark road we get to see the worlds BEFORE the restart, hence why Agrabah is empty, and the explanation for the constant swarms of heartless which I thought was a nice touch lol

this mention of the Final World which makes me think about THIS post right here saying that one of the stars in KH3 could be Hoder herself

then we see the conversation between current old man Xehanort and Vanitas about how Vanitas is most likely the remaining Darkness hiding which is A Lot To Think About given the fact that Vanitas has Sora’s face and Sora is hinted to be the next proper Child of Destiny (EVEN THOUGH I STILL THINK IT’S RIKU BUT ANYWAY) like yeah yeah, Vanitas looks like that because Sora and Ventus’ hearts connected very early on but how ironic is that ???? 

THEN that convo between Xehanort and Eraqus about how many lives they’d want and Xehanort has the balls to say 14 and then days later Nomura drops a fucking drawing of Xehanort in (possibly) Quadratum? yeah. yeah I’m eating that up

oh right, also Eraqus’ entire quirky trait about running away and shit? I thought that would come up eventually as in, he actually ran away and people died because of that choice but I guess not lmfao, that was kinda eh considering how many times it’s brought up in the beginning 

ALSO the fact that their keyblades is a more fancy version of the starlight from KHux really got to me like, yeah. YEAH..... This really is Ephemer’s legacy.....

AND the fact that during Vor and Baldr’s scene at the tower, in every flashback you see EVERYONE fading away in light minus Bragi. Plus some of Bragi’s dialogue like his reason to become a keyblade master, it really is good foreshadowing 

also Odin saying this :

to the guy who was supposed to be the child of destiny like yeah man, destiny sure fucking SUCKS. yall really fucking got this guy to be a sacrificial lamb huh

Baldr as a vessel for Darkness and his entire mass murder scene was pretty cool ngl

Again, I really like the scene where you get to see in a fucking row all the days he spent in his room grieving and mourning and spiraling, like. You know that one post that says “producers : you guys cant show anything showing death or blood.  writers : ok *makes up a fater worse than death*” yeah............... the absolute irony of being possessed by the entity that orchestrated your own sister’s death AND your own demise is very very good 

It’s a bit on the nose that he was meant to get absolutely fucked in the story since he’s been missing from pretty much everything and he has. well. White hair and a sister. That can only mean ONE thing and it’s tragedy.

THIS detail went too fast for me to notice but while rewatching the video I caught it and ??? BRO ??? I THOUGHT VALA TRIPPED BUT SHE SHOVES VOR OUT OF THE WAY TO SAVE HER

also really lets be honest, the counting is so extra and so good. the little quips and jabs like “OH DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO YOU?” and shit were also really funny to me like yeah, absolutely, please show me the flashbacks and explain what happened bc this is Kingdom Hearts and you fucking bet I need the extra info

I like how Eraqus insists that they can STILL save him while Xehanort was ready to fucking kill this guy and that moment of hesitation was all the darkness needed to give ANOTHER fucking speech about shit - a speech that works perfectly because he’s casting so much doubt in Xehanort’s heart by making it all about “it’s us and then there’s THEM” and kind of being like “yeah, the second your emotional support boytoy Eraqus dies, it’s fucking over for your sanity bro, I’ve been there”

and the entire explanation as to how constantly insisting that darkness is inherently bad has led to people like Baldr go absolutely unhinged because they start to believe THEY are bad, despite having done NOTHING to prove that, which relates to Terra’s entire journey and Ansem the Wise’s resentment towards Nobodies and consequent treatment of ppl like Namine, Xion or Roxas who CLEARLY felt things, were developing unique personalities but because they weren’t inherent light, then they weren’t worth the chance 

so basically every goddamn old man who has become a teacher in this entire saga of games is a shithead lmfao. Eraqus doesn’t get to see this conversation between Hoder and Baldr, so of course he clings to that belief of Darkness = evil evil evil, especially with the shit Xehanort is going to start pulling right after this but like

man. look at them. 

AND THEN THEY PULL OUT THEIR SWORDS AND THEN HODER DROPS HERS??? AND BALDR IS REACHING OUT TO HER ONE LAST TIME and the fuckin purple fart just has to come back to ruin it

also this ? THIS? yeah. I love the entire chain thing coming back, I also love seeing the gazing eye and waving at it knowing MoM is writing all this shit down

Vor. Just Vor. I rlly like Vor now

The second I saw her I disliked her because she’s small and cutesy and in media like this those are red flags to me because. All small cutesy characters usually end un being marketable annoying sidekicks with high pitched voices that I can’t fucking stand

BUT I really liked how Vor was present and important throughout the entire thing, acting as a mediator for Xehanort and Eraqus of sorts and also being the middle ground/indecisive person, because ofc not everyone can have super strong morals or want to radicalize the world. She felt like a nice balance and well, I guess everything in KH has to come in sets of three 

I didn’t understand this part during her death at first, I really thought she fucking meant she belonged in the afterlife or death as punishment for leaving her friends behind and I was like holy shit thats sad as fuck, bUT LMFAO SHE MEANT SHE BELONGED WITH HER FRIENDS AFTER ALL IM DUMB AS BRICKS SORRY VOR

Eraqus in this specific frame, that’s all. He looks very polite, I like him, please look at him

anyway that was just to bait you all into reading this part and remember the line Xehanort drops about how Eraqus has done nothing but cry every goddamn night since everyone died and that he’s heard all of it. that was VERY good too I loved that and all the fanart it’s spawning from that, it’s HEARTBREAKING to think about, especially when Eraqus is trying to get Xehanort to laugh as if he hadn’t spent the whole week crying his heart out

and then Baldr’s entire speech about how Xehanort is different, that he’s not like Eraqus and that eventually, once Eraqus leaves or disappears, it’ll be fucking over for Xehanort bc all he’s done is chase after him desperately just casually being destroyed by Eraqus being his funnyman silly self, reinforcing their friendship and that if Xehanort ever falls to darkness, he’ll be there to pull him out

yea

anyway i really hope that the entire bloodlines arc in missing link doesn’t reveal them as cousins or something because. they’re my emotional support divorcees, they got literally everything - childhood friends, trauma, scarring each other emotionally and physically for life, keeping in touch for the sake of their kids, another divorce, absolute pure death and then a second marriage while ascending to the heavens, its amazing

THE Luxu reveal lives rent free in my fucking head you don’t understand, I love this man to bits

everyone used to be so fucking afraid of their favorite characters being part Xehanort or getting norted, now everyone is at the risk of being Luxu and it’s so funny to me as a Xigbar enjoyer

I really like that we’re keeping up the “brai” names lmfao, but also the implications are spiraling in my brain bc does Luxu pick people who have those names As A Statement or does he change them once he possesses them. what happens to the original owners of the body and where do they fUCKING GO, LUXU DID YOU FEEL GENUINELY ATTACHED TO THESE KIDS OR WERE YOU FAKING IT, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE BY XEHANORT’S SIDE KNOWING HE MOURNED YOUR DEATH IN HIS TEENS, DID YOU BECOME A FUNNY MAN OVER THE YEARS UNCONSCIOUSLY BC THATS EXACTLY HOW THE MASTER OF MASTERS ACTED? WHAT IS LEFT OF THE ORIGINAL YOU, WHEN YOUR BODY IS NO LONGER YOUR OWN AND YOUVE GROWN AND CHANGED TOO MUCH TO BE RECOGNIZABLE, I NEED ANSWERS I LOVE THIS BODY SNATCHING TERMITE, HES MY PERSONAL SHIP OF THESEUS AND I LOVE HIM

The KHux player not being Xehanort confirmation is pretty sad but eh. The child of destiny thing and the bloodlines are interesting at least

I really really really liked the idea of Nomura trolling the fanbase who is very vocal and tired of Xehanort being everywhere by making the player ACTUALLY xehanort. it also made sense, Xehanort’s obsession with finding the people in his dreams, because those people were ACTUALLY his friends in his previous life, him being a superempath who leeches people’s memories and feelings is kinda eh in this specific context because I don’t feel it justifies all the shit he does to find Ephemer, Ventus, etc

but baby nort is very cute and I like that we get to be his grandparent and mentor for awhile, probably being the reason he’s also very interested in the outside worlds due to him being stranded here AND all the stories we most likely told him about everything. and I also like that he was pretty much set up to fail the second we died, doomed characters are very fun

I guess this confirms that Skuld’s descendant is Xehanort’s mother since he does mention his mom looks like “the girl from his dreams” aka Skuld herself. So that would mean Ephemer and Skuld’s bloodlines becoming one too, which is interesting, I cant wait for missing link..........

[violenceenthusiast]

im curious why people are saying supernatural is jewish like idk if jewish writers makes an inherently jewish story especially when things like following out the christian apocalypse from revelations and showing a real physical g-d who is just some guy i think is super jarring since though christians claim to be against idolatry they seem totally fine showing depictions of gd or whatever i dont get jesus honestly but jews are far more strict and the idea of showing gds appearance is pretty wrong

WOOF okay um. Maybe this is one of those Tone Doesn’t Come Thru Well Online things but to me this is soo fucking rude… I’m half way between John Mulaney we don't have time to unpack all of that & Ben Wyatt wait it’s gonna bother me if I don’t explain why you’re wrong. 

This turned into all my thoughts. 

So like. First off, it’s all fun and games. We’re all just joking and joshing and projecting here on destiel dot tumblr dot com and Jupernatural is not an exception in a lot of ways. And so when someone shits on what we’re doing here (yes, even unintentionally) what you get is what happened: oh you think you’re funny well I’m about to be hilarious!!! aka I’m gonna do it even more now out of spite specifically because you said not to. Like it really is all jokes but also you know what’s not a joke? Antisemitism in all its forms, even the casual shit! It’s really draining and it builds up in your veins!! Just. Yeah. You saw a lot of people talking about it today in particular because much like other topics of the day, one thing kicks off a whole other turn of events. So like. one misguided comment that’s playfully antisemitic and then one more little one, and then one big/obvious one launched us (Jewish spn fans) into a whole bigger discussion about antisemitism and erasure of Jews in the spn fandom writ large. It’s one thing to be descriptive, offer a headcanon/what if, or employ a certain mode of analysis. It’s another thing to definitively say This Is The Truth, specifically when to do so overrides something else, especially in this case when what’s being overridden is Jews, an ethnoreligious minority. It’s also another thing to talk over Jews. And mind this has been building for days. Not in a bad way just like, it’s been topical for days and then today one big thing pushed it over the edge to us actually posting abt it (partially bc at that point it’s a pattern, which feels like it needs to be addressed). Like, destiel tumblr is small we pretty much all see all the same posts, and then Jewish spn fans… we’re friends, we chat about life? We joke around together, y’know? If you’re being antisemitic (yes, even unintentionally) we’re all gonna hear abt it. It’s how we stay safe or in this case, curate the online exp.

That being said tho projecting on fiction is like fun and even a good thing at times, and def opens up new modes of analysis. But! the other big thing here is that there IS a LOT of evidence for a Jewish reading of spn, in a lot of ways, and particularly if you know what to look for. Like there’s lots of niche Jewish slang (non-Jews just don’t know these things, and that is a reflection primarily of the writers but once you put it in the script it implies things about the characters too of course), the theology of the early seasons (I’ll get to that in a second), main character motivations (hold on), “Moishe Campbell” implying Mary is (and therefore Sam and Dean are) Jewish, etc. 

It’s not surprising to me or anything that non-Jews don’t catch anything/everything Jewish about spn but that Jews catch both sides of it, because that’s just how being part of a marginalized group works. You learn about your own stuff AND the dominant culture’s stuff because that’s how you survive (socially, psychologically, literally). Members of the dominant culture don’t need to learn the marginalized one, are never confronted with it, and so they just.. don’t. I don’t even mean that in a normative or accusatory way, that’s just an observation on the state of things. Non-Jews who aren’t part of another marginalized religion, aka expressed xtians and cultural xtians, have a ton of misconceptions about Judaism, for example, “Jesus was Jewish” and not, “Jesus was an asshole of an apostate who made life harder for Jews at the time in a myriad of ways and whose movement has had a lasting negative impact on world Jewry (and other peoples) for the ensuing millenia”. I truly Don’t Have Time right now to get into the varied and intense history of antisemitism in all its forms but. the point I’m making here is that I’m not shocked I need to explain that life experience shapes your worldview?? So if you’re Jewish you’re always gonna be living life through that version of the world and it does impact you?? Same as anything else?? As unwell as they may be, spn writers aren’t exempt from that. Jewish people writing about xtianity are doing so thru a primarily Jewish understanding and vice versa. Jews can (and did!) write about xtian lore but in a Jewish way! Some core Jewish themes: wrestling with angels/G-d, questioning G-d, IF there’s a G-d they will have to beg MY forgiveness, the afterlife isn’t really a big thing so all that matters is your time on earth, make amends to others directly and thru your actions rather than seeking absolution with G-d, you are not obligated to complete the work nor may you abandon it, etc… So that’s the other reasoning why we say “spn is Jewish” based solely on it being written by Jews. Rather than Death of The Author, let’s look at what the author has imbued the story with, both intentionally and unintentionally. And re: Chuck and idolatry… I don’t even know where to start with the way you phrased this but. the Jewish Spn Writers of Note are apparently Kripke, Gamble, and Edlund. All of whom stopped writing for the show years before the Chuck Is God plot! 

Like yes it feels very stupid to be writing a thousand words on antisemitism and supernatural but like. this is a spn blog run by a Jew so. This whole thing is also just the same every time. This is very representative of typical casual antisemitism.

[sonicattos]

here’s my critique on what you said exactly and in order:

1) you contradict yourself by saying that you don’t think all narcissists are abusers but then later imply that the only way to get diagnosed is to be abusive. which is in fact false. (as stated above) narcissism is formed from feelings of neglect, and feeling an irrational need to inflate your self worth and image. which could include verbal/emotional abuse but can also mean something like giving to the poor and bragging about it. or even doing things to yourself. you have basic comprehension of the subject but clearly not enough to know what you’re talking about.

2) “narcissist” MEANS “person with npd” (just like how autist means “person with asd”) it’s not a word to describe someone with traits. the correct terms are “selfish” “insensitive” “egocentric”. not “narcissistic”

3) okay so your argument is “this person isn’t abusive for no reason�� which i agree with, but then you say it’s because of “narcissistic traits” alright, but where do the traits come from then? abuse is often from a person who was also abused or are just really ignorant of their own behavior. most abusers have so-called “narcissistic tendencies” because what they want to gain is self centric, however, as stated before, not every person with the disorder FUCKING ABUSES PEOPLE.

4) you fail to see how it’s ableist because you don’t know what you’re talking about.

5) “i can tell you’re passionate about this” i cannot begin to describe how angry this made me it feels so condescending like im being talked to like im fucking 5. look i did the research and YEAH i am “pAsSiOnAtE” because mental health is a special interest of mine. give me a break.

6) you’re not an expert on narcissism because you got abused by a “narcissistic person” using your definition I get abused by a “narcissistic person” but i don’t call it that. i call it abuse and neglect.

7) narcissistic abuse doesn’t fucking exist. it’s just called abuse. abusers are inherently selfish. my fucking god.

8) never said that people who are talking about abuse are lying. if you read my fucking post correctly you would see that i didn’t. i’m a fucking victim bro why the hell would i accuse someone of doing that???

9) i ALSO never said that there aren’t people who are abused by narcissists. abuse by a narcissist isn’t any different than abuse by a non narcissist because abuse is fucking abuse. anyone can be abusive. that’s my point. narcissism doesn’t make you inherently a bad person just like how not every autistic person is chris chan.

10) i have no choice to respond because it pains me that this so stigmatized. you come in my ask box telling me how im wrong and saying that im an abuse denier. there’s something wrong with this fucking website

Ok I apologize for how long this is but I read your post about npd and I have some thoughts I want to share. First, yeah that screenshot is gross and ableist. With ya on that. Making fun of someone for having a disorder is wrong, full stop. Also, I agree that it's wrong to call someone narcissistic just because they're abusive. Not all abusers are narcissists and vice versa.

HOWEVER. Many of the symptoms of clinical narcissism relate to how people interact with others. And the reason they are regarded as "symptoms" is because truly narcissistic folks relate to others in an abusive way. If people with narcissism did not typically display abusive and/or manipulative behavior they would have nothing to be diagnosed with.

I'm a victim of abuse by a narcissistic person. (Notice I don't say they have NPD. I'm not "armchair diagnosing for sympathy" here.) That person was not simply abusive for no reason. They were abusive BECAUSE they had narcissistic traits such as having little regard for others. I genuinely fail to see how saying this would be hateful or ableist. I can tell that you feel very passionate about this, but as someone who has been on the receiving end of abuse by a narcissistic person, I feel that your post is implying that this kind of abuse doesn't exist, or worse, that people who say they have suffered it are making it up. I know there are a LOT of people who throw around the term narcissist and don't know what they're talking about. But there are also people who truly have been abused by narcissists. And they're not lying for attention.

Don't feel pressured to respond and I apologize for the wall of text. I just have strong feelings about the subject and wanted to share.

1) please don’t take words from my mouth. i never. EVER. said that the abused are making up being abused. i come from a very abusive household that i STILL live in. my mom and my sister used to fucking beat me. i was starved. i was denied any medical help for illness. im isolated. i was groomed into believing that i was more mature than i was and wasn’t treated with the care a child could have. i was and still am constantly told how useless i am and how my mental/physical issues are my fault. my parents never cared and only did things that benefit themselves. i would never deny that someone could hurt someone and i never had. jesus fucking christ.

2) i study psychology. i know i can’t just prove that by saying it but you have to take my word for it i genuinely look deep into this stuff, as it’s a special interest of mine. you come from a place of ignorance of the situation as a whole. never call someone with “narcissistic traits” (aka abusive traits) a narcissist. it’s a medical term. again. call it what it is: abuse. there are other ways to describe that abuse than labeling it as such. narcissism is supposed to be a neutral term to describe traits of npd, not how someone is acting.

3) no. you don’t have to be abusive to be diagnosed with npd. there are many symptoms and tendencies that come with the disorder and it’s also a spectrum just like any other disorder.

npd describes a disorder of someone who has an inflated self-importance. besides putting others down to lift themselves up, they can also try to lift themselves up in a way that’s unrealistic or may seem “prideful”, try getting other’s attention by doing something good or dramatic. narcissism comes from a place of abuse from their elders, either emotional neglect or lack of teaching of responsibility. it affects those who lack empathy or even other mental illness’, which again, doesn’t mean you are an abuser or a bad person.

how would they get diagnosed? perhaps they’re hurting themselves. maybe they have constant breakdowns for not getting attention. etc. a dramatic event of abuse doesn’t have to happen for a psychologist to figure out someone has npd.

4) the entire point of the post is to tell fucking people to stop using a word that they learned on the internet and didn’t look up what it meant maybe besides the fucking saneist articles vilifying narcissistic people instead of educating one what the disorder actually is.

people with npd deserve sympathy as much as any other person. they deserve help and awareness as well. narcissism isn’t a word to pass around like table salt. it’s a real thing that people suffer with. they’re hurt. they believe if they don’t do something that they’re not worth anything. yes a lot of them become abusers because people who are abusive have most likely been abused. but not every person who’s been abused is abusive.

[imeverywoman420]

I don't think hetero sex is, like, *inherently* anti-feminist or anything, but I have some major reservations against it considering ~70% (at the very least) of men in our age bracket watch porn on a semi-regular basis, if not daily. sadly there's not really a post-2nd wave, pre-deepthroat window of time in which women could exist/experiment sexually (& that's probably not a coincidence, either). most men are coomers,& I don't trust myself to discern bt which ones know what to say & which ones genuinely aren't. like American culture in general is anethema to anything erotic, sexy, hot, even disregarding the politics of it all. is it impossible to have egalitarian, piv sex?no. but I think it's unlikely.

See i see what you’re saying and i respect that i really do but im gonna get my nuttington…..

Like to me thats something i just choose not to think about or else its like swallowing a doomer pill…… i just dont look at their phones or anything lol.

As long as hes not watching hentai or like Motherless you cant really tell if they watch porn unless you ask. Because that sick shit like hentai and xhamster that shows in your face like you can tell without saying a word to them.

N ot saying its wrong tonbe disgusted by men watching porn like it is depressing but what are you gonna do. Indont mean that in like the shrugging way like literally. What are you as a person going to do like what is more important, what concessions are you willing to make etc. No judgement if ur like. Hardcore nooooooo porn not even nudie mags from the 1950s he found in his grandpas house affer he died.

Like personally i think like. coming to a collective as women and deciding whats like. Acceptable or whatever for everyone. Or else ur not based. Isnt as useful as like. Coming up with general questions to ask yourself and a like. Mental framework where u are able to consider everything…

Injust got hit with a wave of huge sleepy innthe middle of that last paragraph im so serious i have no idea what it even says. Theres a high chance its nonsense. Send post!

[custom-emojis]

hiyo, i keep feeling bad because i had a very toxic friend, and i'm fairly sure she had bpd and it was influencing how she treated me, but i've seen so many people with bpd say how people leaving them can be really hurtful, and i feel bad. i understand supporting people with bpd, but i feel like if someone is really putting someone else through shit, asking them to suffer through that just because the person had bpd would be wrong, right?

like, ofc bpd isn't evil, and neither are people who have it, but if someone is dealing with their illness by hurting others instead of focusing on their own healing, that's their fault and i feel like no one should have to stay with a toxic friend just for fear that if they don't they're being ableist because their toxic friend has a mental illness.

i'm not saying this is your belief, but it's the sentiment i've received heavily from a lot of the posts i've seen about people breaking off friendships with people who have bpd, and it made me feel bad for doing that to my friend because i start to think i should've tolerated her toxicity because she was struggling with her mental health, and i don't want to feel like a bad person for prioritizing my own. so... it wasn't wrong of me to do that, right? i know she was struggling and couldn't control what she was struggling with, but i'm not a bad person for not excusing that or forgiving her, am i? sorry, i know this is super random and if it makes you uncomfy i'm very sorry, i just thought since you have bpd, if you give an answer to it i would trust you, idk.

Anon. First off im going to tell you off the bat this was a very fucking shitty ask to send me. and as a warning for my followers: I WILL be unapologetically angry over this.

First off, anon, lets get the elephant in the room out of the way: anybody can leave any kind of relationship they want, for any reason. even if its NOT toxic or abusive, if you want to leave someone and they happen to have bpd. you're in your full right to do that.

now. with that out of the way: you say

"i'm fairly sure she had bpd and it was influencing how she treated me"

Now, 'fairly sure' isn't the same as 'she has bpd'. DOES she have bpd? or are you just ASSIGNING her bpd because she was abusive and controlling?

"like, ofc bpd isn't evil, and neither are people who have it, but if someone is dealing with their illness by hurting others instead of focusing on their own healing, that's their fault and i feel like no one should have to stay with a toxic friend just for fear that if they don't they're being ableist because their toxic friend has a mental illness."

first off, if your sentence starts with 'bpd isnt evil and neither are the people who have it, BUT" then thats probably not a good start. secondly, yeah. obviously. no fucking shit. if someone is being, you know. ABUSIVE. then they're abusive, regardless of their mental illness. and nobody should have to stay with them.

"i'm not saying this is your belief, but it's the sentiment i've received heavily from a lot of the posts i've seen about people breaking off friendships with people who have bpd, and it made me feel bad for doing that to my friend because i start to think i should've tolerated her toxicity because she was struggling with her mental health, and i don't want to feel like a bad person for prioritizing my own"

You sure as fuck made it seem like you think thats my belief. Heres a little tidbit for you: "Anybody can leave anybody they want, for any reason, regardless of anything" and "people who have BPD do find abandonment to be extremely upsetting and sometimes downright traumatizing" are sentances that can and do co-exist. Even so. Even if some weird ass people WERE ever actually implying that: that is ENTIRELY not my fucking problem. Literally. I do not know you. We are strangers. I am a stranger to you.

so... it wasn't wrong of me to do that, right? i know she was struggling and couldn't control what she was struggling with, but i'm not a bad person for not excusing that or forgiving her, am i? sorry, i know this is super random and if it makes you uncomfy i'm very sorry, i just thought since you have bpd, if you give an answer to it i would trust you, idk.

No! it wasnt! and also, I'm not your fucking therapist! Me off handedly mentioning i have bpd and that my fp left me is NOT me opening the doors to you traumadumping on me and asking invasive and uncomfortable things about my complex trauma disorder!

people fucking demonize cluster-Bs enough as it is, why the fuck should i have to essentially coddle you and take the fall as someone with bpd just because your abuser had it.

you didnt deserve your abuse, nobody does! but its not my fucking job as a random stranger running an EMOJI BLOG who just so happened to offhandedly mention my bpd due to the relevance to a video game, to be a monolith for all those with bpd and try to convince people who already hate us due to stigma the very basic concept of 'we can be hurt by things, and our pain can be extremely irrational. and thats kind of the entire fucking point of the disorder, the fact that its irrational and a whole Problem. but we are not inherently abusive because of this, and evenif our pain is irrational or unfair we are still allowed to feel that pain as long as we understand where its coming from and how to deal with it. and we're allowed to express that pain'

and then, even further ontop of that. I literally said said fp was bad. they hurt me in other ways.

this is all in all, one of the most frustrating asks i think ive ever gotten.

you're not ableist for leaving them but you sure as fuck are by sending me this ask

[butwhatifidothis]

Who on your side is going to call you out? Literally every recruitable character except Bernadetta and Lindhardt? And you CAN'T objectively say that the route leaves an objectively worse off Fodlan. A lot of the characters have the exact same single endings they do in other routes. Meaning a lot of their endings are nice and happy and hopeful despite the fact they aided in the conquest of a nation. Hell, some single character endings specific to crimson flower STILL end happily despite this. Alois happily moves to remire and becomes a farmer with his family. Mercedes opens up an orphanage. Also you can't really use Felix' single ending as a mark against Crimson flower, seeing as that's also his ending in all his non blue lions endings.

Those quotes aren't actually addressing Byleth's actions beyond said characters being pissed at Byleth. 

The demonic beasts are never mentioned. The fact that you are aiding in conquest and genocide isn't talked about, just the fact that you are on the opposing side. And some of those characters that are pissed at Byleth and questioning them ALSO *conviently* forget those grievances once they're recruited. Suddenly everybody's all for blindly following byleth in their aiding the conquest of fodlann and the potential genocide of the last few nabateans.

So what, is edelgard "im going to assassinate my classmates and immediately get murdered by bandits in that attempt and nemesis did nothing wrong!" Adrestia suddenly master manipulator? Are all the characters just so blindly loyal to byleth that they're willing to ignore their morals? a

You broke down exactly why, no matter how you look at it, villain route or not, CF falls flat! Because inconsistent writing dictates that 3H can't go all the way with making CF/Edelgard too bad! The full scope of Edelgard's actions never being addressed, even off of CF (the Demonic Beasts are never called out, but the use of them is very clearly villainous given what they are, to use one of your examples)! This is why I have issues with CF - not because oh shit you're the bad guy, but in this regard they don't go far enough! This is exactly why my feelings are mixed towards CF, because of these exact flaws within it.

But even with that, there are still some things of what you said I don't quite agree with?

Like, Edelgard's and Hubert's endings apparently don't point to CF being a villain route, but Alois and Mercedes' do point it to not being one? Why are the latter's endings being given more weight than the former's?

"Those quotes aren't actually addressing Byleth's actions beyond said characters being pissed at Byleth."

...Um... yeah they are? Because they're pissed at Byleth for siding with Edelgard and the Empire? They're not just randomly mad at Byleth for no reason - the characters know what Edelgard and the Empire have done, they don't have to go down the laundry list when they express their anger at Byleth joining her/them. When Ignatz says “We can’t place the future of Fódlan in Edelgard’s hands. If you’re allied with the Empire, I have no choice but to fight you," him not specifically laying out every single crime Edelgard has done does not suddenly mean that those crimes aren't what he's referring to. Shamir saying “You still align yourself with the emperor? What a shame. Let’s make this quick. I don’t want the loser to suffer," doesn't mean that she's just peaved at Byleth for no reason. Ingrid’s quote, “You have chosen to assist the Empire, even while knowing of their deeds. I am truly disappointed in you, Professor. Prepare yourself, heel of the Empire! A wretch like you will never be qualified to rule over Fódlan!” very clearly lays it out that it is all that the Empire has done that is the reason why she’s mad at you and why she thinks you’d be a shitty ruler (and if Byleth is shitty for choosing to side with Edelgard, then that inherently means that Edelgard is also shitty).

Why are they mad at Byleth? Why are they criticizing you specifically joining the Empire? Why are none of them saying “Gee Byleth, it’s pretty ass of you to join Claude’s side, you heartless bitch” on VW? Or similar statement towards Byleth on AM and SS? Why is the Empire unique in being called evil, bloody, savage, etc.? It’s because the action of joining the Empire - joining Edelgard - is a bad one, one that throws away morals to chase the false image of “revolution” Edelgard posits. 

So what, is edelgard "im going to assassinate my classmates and immediately get murdered by bandits in that attempt and nemesis did nothing wrong!" Adrestia suddenly master manipulator? Are all the characters just so blindly loyal to byleth that they're willing to ignore their morals?

The answer? Yes. The same way that Byleth is blindingly loyal to Edelgard and throws away their canonical hatred of TWS to follow her, the other characters throw away themselves to blindingly follow Byleth. Byleth places their trust in Edelgard despite all of the horrible things she’s done, and their character becomes worse for it - the same thing happens to the cast that foolishly decide to continue placing their trust in Byleth despite siding with the villain Edelgard. They either stagnate in their character progression or outright regress, the exact same as Byleth, because CF as a route is all about regression. That’s Edelgard’s whole motivation. It’s not moving forward to a new future, it’s going back to how Fodlan used to be - back under complete Imperial control, with a Hresvelg as the one ruler of Fodlan. 

And Edelgard having one shitty plan and being wrong about history doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how to make others look worse than her, how to prop herself up as the hero of the story - we see this from Ladislava, someone who is genuinely completely loyal to Edelgard specifically, that characters genuinely fall for Edelgard’s words. We see this in how she makes Dimitri and Rhea and Claude into these targets that must be destroyed “for the good of Fodlan,” that she can easily shove any and all responsibility for her actions onto her victims. We see this in how she’s just “taking back humanity’s freedom” when she slaughters a heartbroken and maddened Rhea - maddened due to her actions - only to shove humanity under her actually tyrannical rule. Hell, her being ignorant of history again falls back into how CF is partly about ignorance - you’re always ignorant to the depths of your horrific actions due to blind loyalty, so being wrong about history and never being corrected is par for the course.

Where CF falls short is the following: 

the aforementioned endings that always remain the same even on CF, 

where certain characters aren’t given enough attention despite being on CF (Ingrid definitely needed a Felix treatment for specifically this route, since she’s going after the Kingdom directly, for example), 

where even with the idea of the BE getting influenced by the regression of CF they still way too easily side with Edelgard (Ferdinand is by far the worse victim of this), 

where the end result of Fodlan is unification no matter what route you do (more the game overall that suffers from this tbh), 

where the characters don’t mention the depths of Edelgard’s actions off of CF (which is partly why the BE staying with Edelgard on CF comes across poorly, because they never really delve into her actions so them not doing so on CF doesn’t come across very well) - VW is the worst offender of this, as while it makes some sense to have Edelgard be a sympathetic villain on the other routes, doing the same here makes literally no sense (you only know her as a warmonger trying to murder you).

I know this isn’t like, the most popular opinion, but I don’t find it to be an intrinsically bad idea to have the player initially think that they’re not playing a villain route until they go back over the numerous, frankly loud undertones of villainy and evil you help participate in and realize “oh shit wait a minute.” Dragging down characters with you on your path of ignorance and regression? Sounds cool! Playing the other routes and seeing what you essentially look like to all of the people you fight on CF - a heartless conqueror stamping down on all opposition - as you play from the infinitely more heroic POV of the other two lords (+ Byleth’s independent POV) and see Edelgard in the light of a villain (that light the non-recruited/non-CF characters see you in)? Neat! Realizing that you’ve helped a lying, racist, imperialistic warmonger get exactly what she wants as she drags down Fodlan in darkness and tyranny? Interesting! The water is just muddied by poor writing decisions/oversights, but it is very much still (villainous) water. CF is flawed, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t what it is.

But I will ask you this nonnie, if you don’t mind! If you don’t think CF is a villain route, what is it to you? Genuinely curious! 

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1

It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.

Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!

Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.

Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!

Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!

Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?

Either way is ok, I’m just curious!

I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.

Hey!  Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life.  It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year.  I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway.  Was just curious about Step 4.  Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?

Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.

¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english) 

Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.

Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3 

How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.

Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there  would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask 

Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.

Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event? 

It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.

HELLO AMAZING DEVS 👋 i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!! 

Haha, thank you. He doesn’t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.

Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC? 

Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.

Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3? 

Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.

will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused? 

It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.

Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits? 

Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.

Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it. 

For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.

Did the illustrator for Our Life change? 

We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.

So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀 

Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.

Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.

Keep up the amazing work! ♡

Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.

Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it? 

I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.

Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!

Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline  events planned? 

I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!

Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game! 

The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.

Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place? 

Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.

Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence? 

Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.

Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?

After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.

Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.

She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.

Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀

It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.

—– —– —– —–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[anonil88]

Malcolm and Marie live blog

I don't usually do liveblogs for movies but yea.

Spoilers ahead!!

I love that its modern timed but very 70s stylized.

A tune indeed.

When you are high and drunk on success and

How the white critic reacts is why I feel like gatekeeping my scripts. At the same time some things I do make are about race or involve.

Marie sitting on the patio smoking is a mood whenever men are talking.

So he's pretentious and unaware.

Whoever chose the music for this, I feel like we would be Spotify mutuals.

Can this nigga stop pacing.

Also can he stop talking;

Marie is so tired and unimpressed.

Also little booties matter and are to be bitten.

Oooo the tension and the jazz.

Title Card over mac and cheese.

Shitty boxes mac and cheese but still mac and cheese.

Tbh i always wonder if spouses/significant others get upset when their spouses don't acknowledge them during speeches.

John sounds so much like his dad but I really hope his acting style differs from his dad a lot.

Guilty confession?

He did not profit off of his partners backstory and then not even acknowledge her.....I.....

If that ever happened to me catch me cussing my partner out during the beginning credits, the end credits, in the car, and at home.

GASLIGHTER!

The way I'm excited for Zendaya to give me some, oooo can she work with Regina King. Please on my knees I pray.

Um no that's not your job to coddle your lead.

He's a dick and the type of dick who makes himself look like a good person around other people.

If Sam Levinson is trying to make his viewers more of misandrist, it's working.

I feel like Marie has her flaws probably a lot of them and we will surely see as this continues, but Malcolm needs to learn how to apologize sincerely.

70s vibes! 70s vibes!

Them kissing and talking about criticism and dreams makes me miss a partner. A partner that I've had and haven't had.

Women really are behind every great man.

Yea sir you fucked a happy moment.

Oh visual allegories for looking in from the outside and cat and mouse chasing and looking from the outside in.

She's saying she doesn't feel noticed by you.

Gas lighter :0 he called her an emotional support dog, bruh.

I would LOVE to co-write or take a writing class held by Sam Levinson. The fights i write are very much in this same realm of reflection and anger and monologue.

Sam.....sam.....are all the sides inside of you doing okay sir?

The ugly side of dating and being in a relationship with someone who struggles with their own demons.

Honestly I could close my eyes and listen to this script being read without seeing these characters visually. Just close my eyes and get a sense of these characters like it was a radio story.

Oh. Oh this is a new wheelhouse of Zendaya acting; a different voice is like breaking through here and her expressions aren't the same we are used to. You can literally hear another character in there....hmm.

Mans is outside really fighting with his invisible demons lmfao.

Selfish ass, how after everything she said you came out of it thinking about your own craft and self instead of how you hurt her.

So she's conditional.

Me: did sam (a white man) say nigga this many times in his script or are the actors adding their own inflections. Not just the lingo used but the topic of race and directing etc. being written by a white writer about black characters is always gonna be a critique when you're writer is a white person.

Alexa play Broken Girls by Saba

He is so hurtful.

A clown nigga a clown look in the fucking mirror you bozo head ass looking like you need some Mehron clown white and a size 16 in clown shoes.

John is doing a really swell performance and reading of these lines.

He is reading her for her insecurities by bringing up his experiences with other women and that.....is yikes.

Arguments can get messy like this in real life but it takes a lot of maturity and control to either not let it get to this point or have a healthy conversation afterwards.

This film is really shot on some very crisp lenses.

They sitting there like 🚬🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️.

Leftover Mac and Cheese and unfinished cigarettes.

The nyt etc. pay walls are so annoying, but there is a work around look at the articles on incognito or add a period at the end of the url.

He sounds like his daddy so much here, weird, this is the only part I'm eh on the dialogue it feels real but a bit out of pace in how they are bouncing off one another.

Nail scissors? So the end is not the only part he based off of Marie. 🙄

ITS A GOOD REVIEW YOU DINGUS but also its a full review they are going to critique things. She isn't wrong though he did profit off of a woman's story that was not his own to profit from.

Yes Malcolm because unfortunately all marginalized people look through a lens of life that is inherently political because of the world they live in.

He is so mad and upset and had a lot on his chest. But I think he Malcolm and Sam are talking about something thats an issue and a non issue. Being critiqued for you art is hard but also Malcolm is not super self aware. He's like a stand in figure of for example rich depop sellers who wanna be oppressed so badly they yell at others instead of examining their own personal behaviors and ethics.

Oh Marie, when you know the spark is gone and you pick fights because.

He ain't even ask her to read?

One critic I have for most of hollywood actors is they learn their cry and that is it. A change from this is Margot Robbie, I adore her fluctuations of crying being similar but the crying is carried differently for each character. If I had to say any actor that does a cry scene amazing its this woman right here (Amy Adams)

You stole her story from her and gave it away, she has a right to be upset and angry and a rubber band ball of emotions.

Citizen Kane, not the cinematography, but the story is it even that good? (Unpopular opinion but meh, maybe in my rewatch it will be better.)

But that is what people want authenticity and whatever authenticity means to them. What is real for one is false for another.

To be honest look at the criticism of Euphoria, well earned, but a lot of people were like this isn't real even though he literally wrote about his own life. People said it was inauthentic like....wtf.

Ahh the smoking is just a habit, he quit and she didn't.

CAST ZENDAYA IN A HORROR MOVIE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. Get Lupita and Zendaya and some more black actors preferably less known ones in a horror movie. One with a interesting script and story, directed by Regina King. Please and thankyou.

I love Marie yep that was amazing.

Behind every great man is a greater woman, one that deserves her credit for how she has stood behind. I wonder the stories of those women, what they have sacrificed or not sacrificed. Their thoughts and feelings when the world is surrounding their partner and views them as a plus one. (I'd write a short script about this but I think do I have the time, can I, or am I equipped ?)

He is a shitty person for bringing up his exes, like she even said I don't wanna know any of that.

Imagine being on anti depressents and rarely having a sex drive and then when you do your partner starts talking about their exes and tearing you apart for all your faults.

I love when you see peaks of Zendaya's cadence in roles.

Tension, what if's and he didn't even bring her up in his speech.

Marie to herself and the audience:

He is not afraid that he will loose her but as my character says in my unreleased story, "i can't wait til you give me a fucking reason to leave your ass." Malcolm expects everything in order for not even doing the bare minimum and she is only asking him for something as simple as consideration. She just wants him to be considerate. He wants to get married and considers their relationship like rolling down a hill at full speed and he cannot apologize, he cannot be considerate, and he cannot admit his wrongs. He can only offer her I love yous that he probably does mean but he does not back up outside of what he's done for her in the past. The past which was more of her experience than his and he sees his part in it as a burden. He doesn't use his own vantage point of the past to further his career he uses her. He does all of these things without a real apology or thankyou because he is not afraid to loose her.

The restrictions of quarantine and the panorama have made Sam's writing very no frills. I wonder how other films from other directors and writers that are filmed in small contained crews like this will be structured. But this was a very good movie gonna add to my letter box 3.3-3.5

Oh shit this is my song,

Ratings/overall thoughts:

Script is like a C+, B- : I could go into my heavier big brain thoughts on the script but I don't feel like it. You catch hints of it above it centers conversation on race and privilege, mainly the writers and questions i have that won't be answered but Sam did make me grow disdain for Malcolm over a short time. Which is sometimes hard to do because im one sympathetic person but the sympathy i have for Malcolm is at 0. Maybe a 2 at some scenes but then it quickly goes back to 0. Some parts of the dialogue miss the mark or hit the are off balanced. While some of it like Malcolm's bathroom speech albeit mean is really strong or their conversation when he comes back from peeing really shines for me.

Performances: B+ to A- because they carried the script further than it could of gone with less talented actors. The monologues do well to showcase their current skill levels which are already high af and leave room for anticipation in where these actors go next.

Zendaya holding a knife: A+ with a gold star. That switch on and off and on is delectable.

John being a shitty boyfriend but following Marie like a lost puppy: B+ with a good job written at the bottom of the paper, Malcolm being nervous a frantic dialed up with more realistic nervousness would have sold me completely on Malcolm's anxious waiting.

Cinematography: A and a participation award.

The mac and cheese: A+ for the easy mac. Wish it was like Annie's or Velveeta.

Cigarettes: Participation award and their picture hung up for student of the month. Why the grill lighter? Everytime Malcolm opened up his mouth Marie was like sparks fly.

The music: A++ with a prize. Whoever picked the music probably makes good Spotify playlists.

[sineala]

A Few Thoughts About Hurt/Comfort

I have been asked this month to make a post about hurt/comfort in Avengers comics. And I love h/c -- I actually have a massive number of WIPs right now that are h/c -- so I am very happy to talk about it! Anyway, this is not really all that planned out and this mostly turned into an excursus on Tony Stark's pain. I'm sure you're all surprised.

Like pretty much everyone else, I'm sure, I have found that everything lately has been... pretty tough. And the coping mechanism that really got me through last year and this year was reading and writing a lot of h/c, on the theory that, however lousy a day I'm having, I can absolutely make sure that Tony Stark has a worse one. And then I can make sure he gets hugs. Wish fulfillment? Why, yes. (Once at Hallmark I was trying to find a "get well soon" card, forgot what it was called, and described it to my wife as "a hurt/comfort card.") I think Marvel Comics -- the Avengers side, in particular -- is an interesting canon for h/c for a lot of reasons. Though, honestly, if you asked me to recommend you, a hurt/comfort fan, a new fandom, I would probably just hand you some Starsky & Hutch DVDs. Go watch "The Fix" and get back to me later. If you like that, there's way more where that came from. But there's still lots to love in Marvel! Superhero comics are really a goldmine as far as the hurt side of h/c. Because superheroes, and you probably have noticed this, get hurt a lot. They get hurt repeatedly, in fantastical ways that are probably impossible in real life both physically and emotionally (at least, I don't think anyone's invented mind control yet), and even the heroes without superhuman healing powers tend to get physically hurt a whole lot worse than actual people can take. Currently in Iron Man comics, Tony has a broken back and is dealing with this by locking himself into the armor as a backboard and injecting himself with massive doses of painkillers. He's busy! He's got stuff to do! He doesn't have time to lie around and heal! So, basically, if you name a kind of pain that you would like to see happen to a character, it's probably happened to superheroes. Multiple times. The downside, though, is that comics do not really deliver that well when it comes to the comfort part of h/c. They could. It's not inherent to the medium that they don't. But because of the serial nature of comics and also the fact the primary audience is dudes who want to read about people in spandex punching each other, a lot of the time they don't really feel the need to provide closure and write about people dealing with any of the hurt. (Raise your hand if you're still annoyed with the end of Hickman's Avengers run.) But at the same time, I think that's a quality that makes Avengers ripe for h/c fanfic. Because, generally speaking, fandom likes to provide the things that canon doesn't, and fandom is more than happy to provide the comfort. If you enjoy canonical h/c in comics, I think you really can't go wrong with Iron Man. One of the big innovations of modern Marvel Comics was the concept that heroes would also suffer from relatable human problems, and in practice what this means is that a lot of heroes start with a fully-loaded angst-ridden backstory and origin story, ripe for h/c. So Tony starts out by incurring a heart injury that he fully expects is going to kill him, which he responds to by vowing he won't get close to anyone so they won't be sad when he dies, and throughout the early Silver Age is constantly on the brink of death as his heart nearly gives out on him practically every issue. And then even after his heart gets (mostly) better, there are various plots involving his armor being detrimental to his health and him choosing to fight on anyway. It's hard for me to think of another superhero hitting that particular variety of h/c in exactly the same way. Sure, superheroes risk their lives constantly, because this is how superhero comics work, but Tony is the only one I can think of who is this constantly this badly off, physically. Like, think of all the other heroes who have had a continual solo presence as fan favorites across Marvel history -- Captain America, Thor, Spider-Man, Wolverine, maybe even Deadpool. You know what those guys all have? Healing factors! For the most part, they are not running around continually on the verge of death, and while there are certainly memorable arcs involving several of them being severely injured and/or dead, you really have to work at it. It's not their constant state of affairs, whereas Tony is the kind of superhero who shows up to a fight already bleeding out under his armor. Yeah, I know Extremis gave him a healing factor. But he didn't have it very long, and also he did some extremely dangerous things while he did have it; I'm pretty sure I've never seen Wolverine saying that he'll just solve a problem by cutting off his own foot. So, anyway, yeah, there are a bunch of good arcs involving h/c for Tony. If you're looking for physical injury, he has a whole bunch of heart problems over the years, gets several new hearts, then ruins his brain, et cetera. That level of hurt is basically the background pain of Tony's life; every so often, his heart will get damaged or he'll have to live in the armor or the armor will be killing him, et cetera. If you're looking for more unusual trauma, I am, as always, going to rec Manhunt, a relatively obscure arc in late v3 (IM v3 #65-69) in which Tony has an extremely bad week. His tech is stolen and used to bomb a building. Then he gets shot in the chest. Then while he's at the hospital a nurse tries and fails to poison him, and she then tries to beat him to death. Then he checks himself out of the hospital and a helicopter shoots missiles at him. Then he becomes a fugitive from justice. And then, oh, yeah, he has to fight the Mandarin. It is... a lot. (Volume 3 of Iron Man is pretty good as far as h/c possibilities. You've got a lot of physical pain, Carol's drinking arc, the Sentient Armor, both DreamVision arcs, and Manhunt. Manhunt is finally supposed to be out in trade this month, by the way.) There are of course the drinking arcs, which probably count as their own type of hurt. But if you haven't read the second drinking arc (IM #160-200), please do. Marvel likes to up the stakes on events (Fear Itself, Secret Empire) by making Tony drink, and it does work, I think. I feel like I've spoken at length about Tony's drinking elsewhere so I don't really want to rehash it all here. And then there's the emotional pain. Angst and drama is something that happens to a whole bunch of characters, yes, especially in comics, but somehow Tony seems to end up with possibly more than his fair share of it. Fandom likes to make a lot of Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, so much so that you might think, if you didn't know canon, that this was just fandom running with a throwaway mention of Tony's terrible childhood and making it worse. But, no, canon really does go there with a reasonable amount of frequency. Howard's actual first appearance is in a flashback where he's ordering teenage Tony to break up with his girlfriend because she's the daughter of one of Howard's business rivals. And then we get into the verbal abuse, and the physical abuse, and the time Howard made Tony take his first drink, and the part where Howard was a demon in hell who Tony fought while he insulted him. And more! Currently, in canon, Howard is alive again and is in league with Mephisto for the express purpose of ruining Tony's life. Also when Tony was a baby, Howard tried to trade him to Dracula. I think you can make an argument that fandom is actually showing restraint when compared to canon. Tony also has a whole lot of Terrible Exes whose presence and/or former presence in Tony's life can be used for a lot of hurt. If you've read any amount of fanfic, you probably know that the exes who get the most play in fandom are Sunset Bain and Tiberius Stone -- not that Tony and Ty were ever canonically a couple, of course, but fandom is definitely enamored of this idea. Ty and Sunset both have relatively similar interactions with Tony in canon, in that they are both liars and emotional abusers, heavy on the gaslighting, with the purpose of becoming more successful than Tony. They both also attempt to murder Tony, although this is after he figures out they're evil, at least. (Yes, I know, this is not how either of them usually appear in AUs.) Tony also has a bunch of exes who also have just straight-up tried to murder or otherwise hurt him, sometimes while they are dating, and sometimes before Tony dates them: Whitney Frost, Indries Moomji, Kathy Dare, and Maya Hansen come to mind. There are probably more I'm not thinking of! But, yes, if you want to write about a guy in a series of terrible relationships, please consider Iron Man comics. If mind control is one of your favorite flavors of hurt, Tony's pretty good for that too. We all know about The Crossing. I suppose when I say "mind control" I mostly mean "armor control" because there are an awful lot of plots where someone else makes Tony's armor do whatever they want it to do and Tony is along for the ride -- Demon in a Bottle, Sentient Armor, and Execute Program are the first things that come to mind. There is also a fairly obscure What If that is What If Iron Man Lost The Armor Wars in which Justin Hammer apparently really wants Tony in a mind control collar to take off all his clothes and lounge around in his underwear. No, really. I think a lot of pain for Tony often revolves around his issues with control, generally -- his alcoholism comes into play here again. The entire aftermath of Civil War is also notable for its propensity to hurt Tony over and over and over. Is he stoically soldiering on through his grief after Steve dies? Hell, no! He cries, like, six separate times. He 100% blames himself for Steve's death. It's great. Everybody loves The Confession and the funeral in Fallen Son, but one of my personal favorites is Avengers/Invaders, in which Tony is confronted with a time-traveling Steve from WWII and in order not to screw up the timeline, he can't tell Steve he knows him. He is clearly not coping well. He shuts himself in a room with a giant wall of pictures of Steve! Also there's a part where he has to try to convince Steve he can trust him and he ends up having to tie Steve to a chair to talk to him, and Steve looks at him and asks, "Who did you kill to get where you are?" and I feel like that is probably one of the worst moments in Tony's life. No wonder he gave himself amnesia. So now we might want to ask, okay, but why is hurting Tony in fanfiction so much fun? I mean, I can tell you why I think it's fun. I can't speak for anyone else. One reason is that he is very emotional and very affected by everything he does. Sometimes you will see people complaining that the heroes of m/m fanfic cry too much and this is not realistic. This is not a problem if you're writing Tony! He can cry as much as you want and it's perfectly in character. I don't think it would be as fun to hurt him if he didn't express so much of his pain. But he does. He also feels guilty, and for me that's a very satisfying character element. If he were well-adjusted and didn't blame himself for so many things, it wouldn't be nearly as fun as watching him blame himself for everyone whose death he thinks he is responsible for, whether or not he is. And then he just keeps going, and it's, y'know, nice to watch him be resilient, too. So, I guess, I think hurting him is interesting because it's easy to hurt him, his weak points are pretty obvious, and he reacts a lot. Steve doesn't hurt quite as much as Tony does, in canon. It's certainly possible to hurt him -- I mean, they did actually kill him after Civil War, after all -- but I don't think the canonical patterns of hurting him are as numerous. Obviously deseruming Steve is a fairly popular go-to in terms of physical hurt; he's been deserumed at least three times that I know of. I think's easy to see the appeal there of taking a character who is fairly physically resilient and making him... much less so. Certainly Marvel seems to see the appeal. But other than that I don't think he has any other really common way to get physically injured. Unlike Tony, whose origin story is basically "oh no, I've acquired a disability," Steve's origin story is "I drank a serum that cured all my disabilities." Which, I mean, great wish fulfillment but there's not really as much there to poke at. Pretty much all of Steve's pain is emotional, but, unlike Tony, his pain isn't often specifically in response to someone directly, purposefully hurting him. Hickman's Avengers run is a big exception, yes. His pain seems to come up most often as a kind of situational angst. He feels like a man out of time. He feels out of touch with the modern era, with people his own age. He feels guilt because he feels responsible for Bucky's death. He feels like he can't trust the government and therefore he can't be Captain America. He worries that he doesn't know how to have a normal life. And, yes, these are deep and important worries but it's different than, like, Indries Moomji dumping Tony with the intent to make him sad enough to start drinking. Very few of Steve's villains want to personally ruin Steve's entire life the way Tony's villains do; mostly they just want to do things like bring back the Nazis. In terms of Steve's potential for h/c, I think Steve is harder to hurt than Tony is. Physically, he is definitely harder to hurt. You can deserum him, sure, but unless you want everything you write to be a deseruming fic you're probably not going to want to do that more than a couple of times. And if you want to hurt him physically while he has the serum, you have to hurt him hard. Usually past the point where a regular human would ever survive it. He's also harder to break, emotionally, than Tony is -- which means it's very satisfying when you can get him to break, but this is a guy who's only cried twice (that I remember) in canon. So if you want to get him to cry, you really, really have to wreck him, and he doesn't have as many obvious weak spots. He also doesn't generally sit around blaming himself for things that aren't his fault, and the whole "stewing in guilt" genre of plots for him basically came down to "he was sad that he thought Bucky's death was his fault," and that's really the biggest regret he seems to have, and also Bucky's not dead anymore. The Steve/Tony relationship itself, I would think, is also appealing to h/c fans because canon provides a lot of ways for them to hurt each other. Some people only ship pairings who would never, y'know, take turns beating each other half to death in major event comics. (And for a lot of Marvel Comics history, that was also Steve & Tony, so if you want them to be BFFs who have never fought, you can just set your fic earlier.) They have definitely hurt each other both physically and emotionally, so if you're looking for something easy and satisfying as a h/c fan, you can just read or write something where they... make up. What about Marvel characters other than Steve and Tony? Surely some of them are angsty, yes? Well, yes, but also it depends on the particular flavor of angst that you like. If you like the way Tony hurts, you may very well enjoy Doctor Strange comics, because they have a very similar attitude towards life -- they are both former alcoholics whose origin stories involve physical disabilities, who routinely make tactical decisions that negatively affect their continued existence and/or happiness a whole lot. It's very much an "I must suffer alone in the dark and no one will ever know what I am doing to save the world but it's the right thing to do" sort of vibe. Like, you can read comics where Strange is lying in hell with two broken legs, hallucinating that Clea has finally come to save him. Strange's biggest fear, akin to Tony's control issues, is basically that one day he's going to be an asshole again, so he's out there trying as hard as he can to do good. Also, if you like tentacles, he has all of them. I mean that. Carol also occasionally hits similar angst spots, and her drinking arc is great. A lot of people like Natasha, too; I have read zero Black Widow comics but I get the impression many people enjoy her brand of angst. The mutant metaphor is a little different in terms of overall vibe, but some people really like it as a source of angst -- the whole "protecting a world who hates and fears them" thing. It may not work for you, but if you like your hurt to include things like systemic oppression, go pick up some X-Men comics. Start with something like God Loves Man Kills. I feel like I liked this sort of thing a lot more as a teenager but that I kind of aged out of liking the mutants quite so much. It's also worth mentioning that not everything that hits the spot in one universe will be the same in the others, and I'm mentioning this because I feel like I have to say something about MCU Bucky. MCU fandom seems to get a lot of mileage out of Bucky's guilt about being the Winter Soldier, everything he was forced to do, et cetera. I have definitely read my share of those fics, and FATWS sure went right for that angst too. But as far as I can tell, he doesn't hit the same way at all in 616. And I like him a lot in 616; I'm always pleased when he shows up on a team. (He was so good in Strikeforce. Everyone was so good in Strikeforce.) But the thing is, 616 Bucky is, basically, phenomenally well-adjusted, given everything he's gone through, and I'm including the time he wrestled a bear in a gulag. He gets over having been the Winter Soldier, and now he's just, y'know, a guy with a cool arm who likes to bring guns to every fight to horrify his teammates, and he snarks at Clint. If you're looking for that angst, that is really not him these days. He's all better. So pretty much all that is canon. So what do we do in fandom for h/c? Well, as far as I can tell, a decent amount of it is canon-based or very canon-close -- there are a whole lot of stories exploring the angst of Civil War or Hickman's Avengers run. Tony's drinking comes up a fair amount, and if one of Tony's Evil Exes comes back to haunt him, it's pretty much only Tiberius Stone. I don't think I've read a lot of fic with Steve getting deserumed; it doesn't seem as popular in fandom as in canon. When Steve gets hurt, he tends to just get physically whumped pretty hard, and there's a fair amount of that for Tony too, but of course Steve can take more. There's also a thriving, uh, subgenre of pain involving Hydra Steve doing terrible things to Tony, presumably the terrible things he would have wanted to do to Tony in canon if Tony had had a flesh body. There's the usual kinds of h/c setups that appear in basically every fandom as well -- sickfic, whump, dub-con/non-con. You get the idea. But since fandom in general likes to take specific inspiration from canon, there's a lot of fic where the hurt tends to resemble things that happen more in canon. Like, I feel like comics fic probably has more tentacle fic and more mind control than canons that don't come pre-stocked with those. Probably everybody has a whole lot of "tied up by bad guys," though. And then, of course, fandom brings the comfort that canon does not. This is true in pretty much every fandom -- I mean, you aren't going to find a lot of actual canons where Character A saves Character B from mortal peril and then there's gay sex -- but, like I was saying, comics don't provide a lot of closure before it's onto the next thing. Usually with a different creative team, who has no interest in wrapping up anything from the last team. Steve and Tony talked about the incursions exactly once after Secret Wars and nobody mentioned the part where Steve spent several months trying to hunt Tony down and kill him. Tony is never going to remember the events of Civil War. Hydra Steve died ignominiously in a fire and no one has ever talked about him again. Honestly, if you're looking for a way to get some comfort in your fanfic, picking an event, any event, and just having the characters talk about it will be way more than any of them get in canon. I feel like honestly that can often be a pretty satisfying to read. And even though comics canon physically hurts characters pretty often and pretty badly, they also often skip right past the recovery. Maybe you'll get one page of a character in a hospital bed at the end of the story arc. Maybe you won't. Demon in a Bottle has one splash page of Tony going through alcohol withdrawal and then he's all better. I think Manhunt skips to Tony getting out of the hospital at the end. That's just not a story that they want to tell very often. The second drinking arc is notable in that it devotes almost as many issues to Tony's recovery as it does to getting him to rock-bottom. Similarly, Steve is done with his Nomad angst way way faster than you probably think he is (though The Captain does go in for a fair number of issues). So one of the things we often want to do in fandom is focus on all the bits that canon skips over, both in the "why did no one ever mention this story arc ever again" way and the "wow, so how long are they in the hospital after that" way. That's really all I can think of about h/c! I'm off to write some more of it!